Two New Commentary Tracks Available NOW!

October 26, 20151,036 Comments

Commentary tracks for both A Nightmare on Elm Street and Return of the Jedi are now available here: https://redlettermedia.bandcamp.com/audio

Filed in: General Updates

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Which version of Return of The Jedi? The near perfect one or the ruined one?

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Wait, you mean there is a version without Ewoks?

  • Palpatine

    The Blu-Ray one. Sadly.

  • Palpatine

    I listened to both these commentaries before they were announced. Does that make me a hipster?

  • TheVerySpecialK

    You are too damn old to be a hipster, Palpy. You could probably still pass as a bohemian, though.

  • Like Icare

    The one that does NOT have the scene of R2 cutting the chair under C-3PO in a fit of jealousy.
    Yeah. That. Remember that?
    When R2 got jealous for 3PO being a god and not he?

  • Palpatine

    I believe that scene was in rough cut of the film, but George hated it because it gave R2 something to do. Unlike Han, who stands in front of a door half the movie.

  • thefantasticmr

    Is Gillian the girl in the car in this McDonald’s commercial? I demand answers!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFeQyBcO9Hw

  • Wizard Phoenix

    To be a complete hipster you need to watch Wes Anderson films and live in Portland.

  • Domo

    If I show up to the Patreon page drunk, do I get a discount?

  • Percy Gryce

    Maine or Oregon?

  • Palpatine

    I don’t think so.

  • Percy Gryce

    Close but no redheaded cigar.

  • Palpatine

    Does you mean Bryce Dallas Howard?

  • Domo

    The lobsters are hipsters, too?!

    They deserve the boiling pot for a grave!

  • Percy Gryce

    Is the first on-air Patreon pitch?

  • Palpatine

    Yes, which means they’ve officially sold out.

  • Percy Gryce

    Did I miss something in Jurassic World?

  • Palpatine

    The one Stephen King sets all his stories in.

  • Palpatine

    You don’t find her attractive?

  • Like Icare

    Rough cut of what? Blu-Ray?

  • Bubs

    I’m sure you guys know this, but I figured I’d bring it up before things went any further: prostitution is illegal.

  • Percy Gryce

    Red and black stripes are not Susan’s best colors.

  • Domo

    Palpy has a crush on that lovely redhead. If only she was Princess Leia, maybe Alderaan would have been saved.

    Nah. He’d still blow it to smithereens.

  • Like Icare

    Wasn’t it legal like in Nevada? Or was that Wisconsin?

  • Palpatine

    Both.

  • Bubs

    All the prostitutes in Wisconsin head south for the winter. Otherwise they’d freeze their nipple tassles off.

  • Domo

    It’s nice to know that Jay/Susan only gets a period once a year.

    Whatever contraceptive device he’s using, I want some.

  • What a crock of shit

    Hey Space Cop is done. Niiiice.

  • Palpatine

    So, can we discuss the Nightmare on Elm Street series, or is this going to be another Star Wars thread?

  • Domo

    I think Jay Bauman knows the answer to this question.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU30obwiqvA&feature=youtu.be&t=1m5s

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The one with Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen.

  • Domo

    Did you guys know that you now live in a world where Space Cop is done?

    Remember their first Red Letter Media auction to help fund Space Cop?

    It’s from 2012, and features their old web site in the video. They also only had one shelf with no Nukie tapes.

    So much nostalgia!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngw1092QUqk

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fine, no more Star Wars.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thank God I was wearing white pajamas when Jay said Space Cop is done

  • Like Icare

    I don’t think those are the periods you’re looking for.
    He may be just bleeding profusely, down under.

  • Like Icare

    Is it in time for Oscars? Should we start a cat mail-in campaign to the Academy?
    It would be just like Schrodinger’s cat – only you could tell the results by the smell.

    It’s like a quantum thing.

  • Like Icare

    Do they only head or are they offering other services as well?

  • alvinfox

    Is there a difference between the blu-ray and the dvd? Fucking George Lucas.

  • Palpatine

    It’s a two months before Christmas miracle!

  • Palpatine

    We discuss both series. Happy?

  • Palpatine

    Darth Vader says “noooo!” before he throws me down the mineshaft.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, things must be on topic. No more Star Wars…for now at least.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And the stupid singing bullshit in Jabba’s palace.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m watching Supergirl right now. It is not as horrible as I thought it would be….Jimmy Olsen is now a handsome black man.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Wow, making a RLM movie really puts years on a man. Also, Jay & Mike.
    Thank you, try the veal!

  • Palpatine

    Really? Because it looks unwatchable.

  • Palpatine

    The “Jedi Rocks” scene in the Special Edition of RotJ is just awful.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Shockingly it is. There is some dumb that I cannot defend like Jimmy Olsen being black.

  • bassbait

    Sorry guys, nobody cares about your shitty 70’s and 80’s, old hat horror movies like Halloween, Friday the 13th, and The Nightmare on Elm Street. They care about 00’s and 10’s, instant horror classics, like Halloween, Friday the 13th, and The Nightmare on Elm Street!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh the singing part in Jabba’s palace.

  • Palpatine

    Honestly, out all of those remakes, Friday the 13th remake was the only one that got the villain right.

  • Catflag

    Wait, Space Cop is done? Woohoo! Time for a well-deserved vacation.

    Then a proper, full Plinkett review. We’ve been waiting three years, you guys! 😉

  • Palpatine

    The original song was much better.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes it was. Max Rebo is rolling in his grave

  • bassbait

    never saw the remakes of any of the movies. Out of the entire series of all of those, I only saw the first one of each, Halloween 3, Jason X, and Freddy Vs. Jason. I figure why watch remakes when I can bludgeon myself in the head with a mallet?

  • Palpatine

    If you are to watch the rest of the films the Halloween series, then watch the first one, the second one, the third one, the fourth one, and the seventh one. As for the Nightmare and Friday the 13th series’s, each one is unique their own way. Try to watch the Friday the 13th films only released by Paramount, and not New Line.

  • bassbait

    It’s too bad none of my friends have any interest in horror movies because I’d actually watch some of those movies if I had someone to watch them with.

    My drummer’s dad is obsessive about horror movies, he watches them all day every day, and so I’ve seen some of the worst shit horror has to offer (The Road Killers and Body Parts, movies which are bad enough to end up on BOTW, but might not be hilarious enough to be worth it) as well as some classics (had honestly never seen the first Evil Dead, or The Exorcist until I hung out at his place). But because we all hang out there a lot, all of my friends are sick of watching horror movies. And only movies I watch alone are shit like David Lynch and Stanley Kubrick films.

  • Palpatine

    I’ll watch them with you. Wait, what?

  • Michael Collins

    I saw this on youtube first, fuck this site and all the whores who post on it!!

    You know I only mean the whores, right?

  • Palpatine

    The spammers?

  • yonderTheGreat

    Who else would you fuck besides whores?

    … and sluts, of course.

  • Palpatine

    And skanks.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I Fucking Love Space Cop!!!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Will Space Cop have a trailer attached to SW:TFA?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Of all the Platinum (Michael Bay) Dunes remakes the least horrible was Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It was crap, but the others were even worse.

    Oh, the Halloween remake was not Platinum Dunes. Oh well…

  • instant relief

    Aha! Finally an announcement! Those hack’n’frauds sure have some mad social media skills. <3

  • instant relief

    Did you lube up your Rich Evans figurine and f…. love it?

  • hybridm0ments

    Myers Rules. Freddie Drools.

  • Space Cop, he’s on the case. Space Cop.

  • Teen Palpatine

    Max Rebo, the greatest Jizz Wailer of his generation.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Alright! A new place to talk about religion!

    Who wants to start?

  • Joe Syxpac

    9 more years to go.

  • Strong_Bow

    I knew it! Fucking Finally. Mike, you look very haggard. Take a nap for both of us.

  • Commander X

    Is that how you pronounce Paetreon? Because I’ve just been calling it “Patron”.
    Yes, I’m a moron.

  • James Earl Jones

    I’m watching Jedi with the commentary right now (the despecialized version, fuck the special edition), and I remembered something. When I watched Jedi for the first time, it was on TV. And they had cut out the part where Luke says “Father, please!”
    Not sure if it was a cut that TV station did or if it was an official TV version, but it made that scene so much better in my opinion. Luke is just there being electrocuted to death by the Emperor and Vader intervenes. No begging from Luke.

  • James Earl Jones

    He’s a cop from the future. The future of space.

  • Susan. The bearer of good news. Thank you, Susan!

  • Us.

  • They offer head.

  • So, maim in Main.

  • Commander X

    Now they’re going to remake them all again, except the main protagonists will be bloggers as will the antagonists.

  • Wolvy

    Hopefully Supergirl is going commando!

  • Wolvy

    Thank god the Governor gave me that pardon in time for Space Cop.

  • Wolvy

    The Patreon Menace

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    SPPPPAAAACCCCE COOOPPP!!!!!!

  • instant relief

    Petroleum

  • instant relief

    Shush, ya skanky little hobbit!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Hobbits are from New Zealand, you racist!

  • instant relief

    Pfft, those foreign countries are all a big blur. Now, fetch me some kiwis!

  • instant relief

    I’d buy a ticket just to see the trailer and leave.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Not in my country.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    OK, but they are not good eating and their eggs are small.

  • instant relief

    That sounds great. Wait.. what?

  • Bubs

    I just watched the RoTJ with commentary. One of the best ones they’ve done. Pretty much managed to stay on topic, and for the first time it felt like it was necessary to actually sync the commentary to enjoy most of it.

    I would pay good money for a full set of RLM commentaries for all the Star Wars moopies. Starting at Episode I. I just get such a kick out of Mike’s disgust for everything Star Wars.

  • Bubs

    I love that Mormon’s ret-conned God’s acceptance of Blacks in 1979. Up until then, all blacks were colored that way because they were evil sinners in the eyes of God. The all-knowing, all-powerful, super being that created the universe is pretty fucking fickle. Seems legit.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    The emperor serves a purpose bigger than himself. He doesn’t care if he dies if it brings Luke to the dark side.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    when are they going to review the ewok adventure movies?

  • Welcome Back Otter

    A boy? Named Sue?!

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Laptinek! As a kid I owned the soundtrack on vinyl. You can’t take that away from me, George!

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Aw, I know there’s a lot of hate for the ewoks, but I was seven when ROTJ came out and I loved them. Do you think there are grown men who were kids in the early 2000s and look back with affection at Jar Jar?

  • Joe Syxpac

    God spent a lot of time at a hippie commune in the seventies and came away a changed man.

    Also he saw Roots.

  • Milton Dammers
  • Milton Dammers

    You can’t hurry perfection.

  • instant relief

    He’ so… it’s so dense.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    No.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That was already in the DVD version.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “For those of you who just saw the Force Awakens trailer, and don’t give a crap about Halloween–”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYkODsWfngE

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Wow (as seen in the movie shelf http://i.imgur.com/wf93r0v.jpg?1)! I have never seen this contempt before!

  • Now I Get It

    Lead-burying motherbrothers.

  • Joe

    Space cop is done? is this a dream that Freddie Kruger is going to jump into and murder me in?

    Guys just be sure to not release Space Cop at the same time as Star Wars because that would take away 98% of Star Wars’s audience who would go to see Space Cop instead!

  • eeeh

    IT’S DONE!?

    Eeeexcellent…

  • Fred Frink

    Space Cop Dog better be good. I mean how can it go wrong? How hard would it be to fuck up the Space franchise?

    Dont let us down

  • tOmy`

    So many tracks, so much value.

  • tOmy`

    Dibs on the band name.

  • tOmy`

    #whoreshaming is a true disease of 21 century. Bitches gotta get paid, dawg.

  • tOmy`

    “I just get such a kick out of Mike’s disgust for everything Prequel-related”

    Are you saying that suffering leads to laughter?

  • tOmy`

    I am surprised it didn’t win “Best Score” on MTV EMA.

  • tOmy`

    I wasn’t even alive back then!

    Side note: They look so much happier and healthier there. I guess creating art took its toll on them.

  • tOmy`

    I think it’s sorta legal here.

  • tOmy`

    I can still manage Ewoks. I am sad during that scene when one of them dies and his friend sorta pokes him just to realize his only friend in the world is now a whatever-lives-on-Endor’s food.

  • TapewormBike

    I’ll wait for Sapce Cop Special Edition, where you put in a wrong Rich evans laugh.

  • tOmy`

    I know this might be a bit of a weird question, but Ewoks are basically animals, right? Do you… do you think they are edible? Like if the Empire army won the battle against fluffy animals and then just sorta… you know, throw ’em on the frying pan or organize a good old barby?

    Oh don’t look at me like that, these little fuckers wanted to eat the main characters. It is only fair to be interested in which of their body part is the most tender one.

  • Fred Frink

    might be a bit gamey.

  • tOmy`

    “Ewoks were additionally used as a source of food for their meat. The diner Power Sliders in Abafar offered Ewok Jerky to its customers during the Clone Wars.”

    Considering that one of them is called “Simon”, I found this piece of trivia a bit disturbing.

  • Milton Dammers

    Is Return of the Jedi the first example of the dumb “getting captured on purpose” plot line? The one you’ve also seen in The Dark Knight, Star Trek Into Darkness and Skyfall.

    Because Luke and Leia’s plan makes absolutely no fucking sense and relies on the most amazing improbable coincidences – such as Leia being made a slave dancer and them all being transported to the Sarlaac pit.

  • Gift Card

    Two?!? You spoil us.

  • Andrew

    This is my biggest problem with the movie. More than any hate the Ewoks have gotten over the years, I hate the way this plot line was wrapped up.

    The rescue mission is just totally incomprehensible. And since we never see them planning it out, we don’t know what parts go according to the plan and what parts they have to improvise.

    Compare that to, oh, I don’t know, the ending to Star Wars. We see them come up with the battle plan, then try to implement it, and as it slowly falls apart the tension mounts. It kinda goes back to Hitchcock’s old axiom where he says to always show the bomb hiding under the table because the audience then realizes what the stakes are.

  • TapewormBike

    Well the other space station they were working on was basically a gigantic Wok.

  • Niccageshair

    So Seth Macfarlane is on the Today show promoting his new singing album. Never have I seen someone want to be Gene Kelly so badly.

  • tOmy`

    “An Albuquerque, New Mexico man has been charged with murder after bludgeoning his friend to death following a Walking Dead marathon viewing.”

    I assume his friend told him it is a good show. Could have seen that one coming.

  • Niccageshair

    I would have guessed it would have been a Breaking Bad marathon.

  • hybridm0ments

    Surprised you guys don’t watch fan edits. They are cleaned up better than the blurays and don’t have the extra crap… but I guess that wouldn’t be as funny.

  • From director and fraud Jay Bauman.

    https://instagram.com/p/9V1lDbjgsA/

  • Like Icare

    Why can’t he just go buy himself a red sports car like all other mid-lifers out there?

  • Wolvy

    Simpsons did it.
    Simpsons did it.

  • Please release copies without the music in the background…

  • TheManHole

    So this is what I never understood why is blowing up the Deathstar good enough this time? Last time they blew they just rebuilt it. Also this is a galactic empire that spans the whole galaxy, you think there still be countless ships and storm troopers.

    Was it like episode one and after they blow up the mother ship all the soldiers just die and all the ships explode!? If your going to say the rebels all fought them off the same time the Deathstar exploded well that too makes no sense. Since the mass bulk of the rebel fleet was used to attack the Deathstar. Also space is big so coordinating an attack that spans a Galaxy would be impossible.

  • Like Icare

    It is an oooooolde trope.
    Both the getting the crew in piecemeal and Luke finally waltzing into the lion’s den, basically feigning surrender.

    Even that whole Rancor pit deal is him playing everyone as he could have force-jumped outside, stopped Rancor’s heart, flipped that switch with Force instead of throwing that skull…

    It was his plan to fight it out from the get-go (ergo, hidden lightsaber) but with giving Jabba several chances to settle it peacefully – cause Luke is a goodguy and a boyscout.

    But Luke also killed hundreds of thousands of people with a single shot so… What’s another slug?

  • tOmy`

    Well, I always thought it is about the battle itself.

    Death Star gets destroyed, Vader and Palpatine get killed, all admirals of Empire were present in the battle and Super-Class Star Destroyer got fucked in the process. No so much about Death Star, more about obliterating everything important military-wise.

  • bassbait

    I have more important things to do, like complain about how I never get to watch movies anymore.

  • Bubs

    Once you kill Hitler and Hermann Goring, the war is over. It’s that simple. It may take a few years to route out the rest of the holdouts, but it’s effectively over. People were following the Emperor and Vader out of fear. With them out of the picture, they’re finally free to go home to their families. Sure, there’s the odd man who actually believed in the cause (which was what, exactly?), but for the most part, no one likes being at war. It’s the perfect excuse to go home.

  • bassbait

    Arguably it goes back to the trojan horse.

  • TheManHole

    You say that but I imagine the new guy they introduce to be the main baddy is going to use a lot of the empires forces since people don’t like things that are different.

  • Bubs

    Well considering there’s storm troopers in the trailer, I think that’s a safe bet. But from the perspective at the time the movie was written, I’d bet that this was the logic.

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely. Battle of Endor was more of a Stalingrad rather than the actual Berlin. It was the turning point.

    Thrawn trilogy actually goes to some lengths to explain why was it such a massive blow (pretty much what you said). Not only did they kill the leaders but almost everyone important – Empire was really just a headless chicken after that. And then there was embarrassment – another key aspect to the win. The tactical fuckup / accident with Super-Class Star Destroyer was really a blow to the morale of troops.

  • TheManHole

    Do you think insurance companies will grant you a life insurance policy if you work on the Deathstar?

  • tOmy`

    They have the “evil henchmen” policy.

    It pretty much reads: No, you are fucked and expandable. Your own fault for not wanting to be a waiter in a Coruscant thriving 50s caffe scene.

  • TheManHole

    I can’t wait for the new movies to come out and find out that the new clones are of Helen Keller. It would explain their aiming skills as well as their complete lack of awareness.

  • tOmy`

    Also worth noting: almost every battle in Star Wars was the dumbest shit ever. Sure, it is a movie and you are constantly dazzled by the action and so on, so you don’t exactly think about what these clowns are doing, but seriously, all it takes is some time to think about the plan of action and strategy shown and you can’t help to wonder how these people even managed to beat that whole natural selection process.

  • Well, the special edition ruins it because they show other nations celebrating the death of Vader and Palpatine more or less at the same time the empire lost on Endor. I really don’t think that killing the hydra’s head would have changed the outcome that quickly.

  • TheManHole

    Okay prediction time who do you think will die in the next Star Wars movie? My money would be on Luke dying so he can fill Obi Wan’s roll and be the wise old teacher ghost for the new “Luke”.

  • That’s against the regulations of the Henchmen Guild.

  • tOmy`

    Yep, well, hence Thrawn trilogy or any other EU after Batter of Endor.

    Empire was always capable of getting back on track, but they weren’t the superior force anymore.

  • Pretty much this. Although JJ might expect we’re expecting that to happen and he’ll subvert it with Luke becoming Sith Lord.

  • tOmy`

    The black guy. They always die first.

    And poor.

  • A-MAZING

  • tOmy`

    It’s all we ever wanted and less!

  • Strong_Bow

    So, in the upcoming TFW, is Luke the villain? Is that the consensus?

  • I hope not because that would be rubbish.

  • TheManHole

    I hope not.

  • Strong_Bow

    Why do you care? You live on the posterior-inferior of a man’s backside; you can’t watch movies!

  • Strong_Bow

    I don’t know….We’ll see

  • TheManHole

    All the more reason to hope the movie is not shit so I don’t have to see it!

  • tOmy`

    I have my money on him being bad. Not the main villain, not the Kylo Ren, just a dark force something something.

    No matter how dumb it would be, it makes sense from the script point of view. At least for me.

  • #institutionalracism

  • TheManHole

    It be just so dumb since the whole point of Jedi was Luke not turning to the dark side. If they just make him evil this movie it will make Vader’s sacrifice in Jedi for nothing.

  • Don’t you mean B-WILDERING? Cus of “B”-movies.

    AAAAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

    #nevergetsold

    #aachachaa

  • Strong_Bow

    If it is shit, and we aren’t aware right away; you can’t just ‘release your force’ and then all will know – shit!

  • Maybe they want to make a point just like Linklater that life is ultimately pointless. Man.

  • tOmy`

    He realized the war is taking its toll on people, went grumpy, Force cannot stop people from dying, how can I stop people from dying, maybe dark side is gonna help me, war never changes, everyone in war is a bad guy… blah blah blah, it writes itself.

    Now when I think of it, isn’t it odd that Hunger Games chick doesn’t know about force? Or doesn’t believe? If Luke was still with Rebels, I think she would know that there is a guy attending corporate rebel meetings who can lift stones and put them back down.

  • tOmy`

    Or maybe he is already dead.

  • TheManHole

    That is a good question but who knows if they would know about the force. The movies really suck at showing what the force is really capable of. It seems if your a level 20 Sith lord you get force lightning and if you are a level 10 Jedi you get to move stuff with your mind.

  • Strong_Bow

    I don’t want to think he’s a ‘Sith’ (is that term still cannon?) or necessarily the main villain. I think they are purposefully misdirecting us with the trailers.

  • Palpatine

    So speaking of Star Wars, which slasher movie villain is your favorite?

  • instant relief

    Some people call me the space cop, yeah.
    Some call me the fraudster of hacks.
    Some people call me Rich.
    Cause I speak of the pompitous of the future… of space.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgk9ouBuj-4

  • Palpatine

    I can’t see Luke being a bad guy.

  • tOmy`
  • Palpatine

    You like the Scream series too?

  • instant relief

    Rich has seen better days.

  • tOmy`

    Well, I kinda like Scream, but that’s about it. I just like the mask.

  • tOmy`

    I think we are all programmed too much to think of a Luke as a Luke we know – surely, he can’t be the bad guy, right?

    Well, there is like 30 years long gap for which we didn’t see him. Honestly, we don’t even know these characters anymore.

  • tOmy`

    Could be. I am just saying why do I think that theory (no matter how dumb) is actually pretty plausible.

  • instant relief

    But with Kylo and Snoke they already have two major bad guys. Isn’t that enough?

  • bassbait

    Jack Torrance.

  • tOmy`

    Again, he doesn’t need to be “major bad guy”. There is no reason JJ will go for the Prequel-ish totally bad / totally good. You can already guess that the two new main characters kinda seem to be in the neutral zone.

    Sith vs. Jedi. Red lightsaber vs. Blue lightsaber. That doesn’t need to be the case here at all.

  • TheManHole

    I was more of a purple lightsaber man myself.

  • TheManHole

    Chucky because little kids and dolls are scary.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Will Luke seek out the the great teachings of Darth Plagueis in an attempt to bring back someone he loves? Because we haven’t seen that before.

  • Palpatine

    Chucky made me laugh the first time I watched him.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Snoke.

  • Palpatine

    That’s not a bad choice.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I always wanted to know what koala tastes like.

  • TheManHole

    Nah gotta having him live the next three movies. Have him be the final boss for episode nine.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You’ve got a point there; the Emperor never publicly revealed what his true intent was (Having the Sith rise to power, I think?). So, yeah, to the average Empire-er it was basically a regular revolution.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    All Hope.
    oh you said who… my bad.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Your forgetting Himmler. You know the little rat looking guy.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Their plan didn’t really involve the Sarlaac pit, though.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I think luke decided the jedi where to dangerous and put himself in contemplative exile. Thats why people think it was all a myth.

  • Mick Taylor.

  • bassbait

    I think Kubrick was trying to construct the ultimate slasher cliche as a satire of movies like TCM and Halloween. In fact I think The Shining overall is a satire of the horror genre.

  • Amontillado

    Jesus fucking Susan! Space Cop done, two commentary tracks, this is too much awesomeness in on video. Quick to the booze and weed!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think they’d rather be considered an aboriginal tribe of sorts. After all, they do have some kind of civilization.

  • Amontillado

    Judge Dredd 1994, slashed up a good character.

  • TheManHole

    Is it too late to change my answer to OJ Simpson?

  • TheManHole

    Does that mean the rebels are going to buy all their land and move them to reservations?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Did it make you… chuckle?

  • Amontillado

    Or maybe everyone thought he was dead, and then he appears and everyone is like, “Oh my god, Luke’s alive!” But then it turns out he really is dead and is back to haunt everyone because anyone who sees Luke will die in 3 days. This probably means 75-90% of the RLM fanbase will be dead in 3 days. 🙁

  • Amontillado
  • tOmy`

    Unless you send this information to at least 50 other fans within the next 4 hours.

  • Amontillado

    Sith the Birthday Boy.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They are part of an illegal paramilitary organisation!!!
    Why the fuck dont they Seal team Six the fuck out of jabba. A platoon of rebels could take the whole palace in about 10 minutes.

  • I think he is being hunted still and doing a Yoda until Han brings the young Jedi to him. Luke sees that the Jedi meddling in government affairs didn’t work out, so follows the hermit monk life consulting with the Force. When we see him put his hand on R2, I think he is going to send a message to Leia. Opposite of how A New Hope got started. He senses a disturbance in the Force….

  • bassbait

    twist ending – Luke is actually a ghost like Ben and Yoda and Hayden Christiensen.

  • tOmy`

    And Fisher’s career.

  • Amontillado

    He’s in transition to become a lounge singer at a crummy, dim tavern bar were the carpeting hasn’t been changed since 1974 and neither have the patrons.

  • Amontillado

    In two words: iron bikini. Ponder it.

  • Amontillado

    Original thought 1*10e550. Of course you can eat an Ewok, that’s why Lucas had em in the film – to draw in the bloodthirsty savage crowd. That crowd is also known as men.

  • bassbait

    you think my neighbors are gonna mind if I scream songs off-key for the next 30 minutes?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes. “Thanks for your help in getting us to power. Suckers!”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Not in my experience.

  • TheManHole

    What I want to know is after they are dead can we stuff them?

  • Amontillado

    Like if you want to survive or subscribe to Patreon you cheap asshole!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Jay bagging the californian red wood forests make no sense to me.
    A) it was beautiful. and one of the first times a sci fi thing wasnt filmed in a desert, quarry or a shit set.
    B) have some love for your country boys. there is no other forest like that on earth.

  • Amontillado

    Simpsons did it. Also see tOmy’s thread below.

  • Amontillado

    If you sing, “Teaches of Peaches,” and then transition that into, “Oops I did it again,” you have my respect forever anon.

  • TheManHole

    So what does everyone think the odds are that JJ is going to introduce time travel into the new trilogy?

  • Amontillado

    To be fair, it’s prob cause Jay felt something was trying to compete with his forest of a beard, which is a national treasure.

  • Amontillado

    GET OUT! That’s Star Trek territory.

  • tOmy`

    Maybe he will finally explain how hyperspace works.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Leonard Nimoy died while filming his scenes as Old Ben Spock.

  • Fartastic

    Well, it would surely be a great way to bring back young Anakin.

  • Milton Dammers

    But if the iron bikini was part of the plan, whose plan was it? Luke’s? That just makes it even creepier!

  • bassbait

    If I knew the lyrics I’d do it. What I’m singing is more along the lines of this –

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRFPs7L9Vgw

  • Lisa Outland

    Get longer together with your family by doing jobs that solely need for you to own a laptop and a web access and you will have that at your home. Begin referring to $8k a month …
    http://www.abilitypath.gq

    ss

  • bassbait

    I don’t have a laptop.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    He didn’t know she was his sister at the time. In the end I think it was George’s plan. After all, he would later design this outfit for Padame: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gCCLfa9SYtM/TGDba-6fklI/AAAAAAAAAl4/ENdl8XSFVZ0/s1600/padme_black_promo1+(2).jpg

  • Fartastic

    Oh no, it’s Spambot 5000. FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

  • My family was killed with laptops…. thank you for reminding me.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    TRIGGER WARNING

  • bassbait

    That’s one really long leash for that choker collar. She must be into some kinky shit.

  • TheManHole

    I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for credit card numbers I can tell you I don’t have them, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you delete your account and go now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I need my laptop for porn.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    If you want to talk about it I will try not to laugh… much.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Taken for the win.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Seth Macfarlane is a smug asshole.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Did they mention the bit where Han grabs Leias tit? I’ll have to listen to it again.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    It is Natalie Portman after all..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    But Lando is there to protect everyb…I mean is there to do nothing…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’d rather see him asphyxiate on a doorknob.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Problably the best Rich Evans cute giggle moment.

    https://youtu.be/JPfamikeU3E?t=8m52s

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ffffffffffffffuuuuuccckkk yooooooouuuuu

  • bassbait

    nothing will top the resident evil viewing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Easy. The producers of Fant4stic because they slashed the budget.

  • Strong_Bow

    Hansatory Rape.

  • TheManHole

    Maybe that is why they call him “Hand Solo”.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yeah! Space Cop took over 12 years to make! It’s going to be awesome!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    My favorite Star Wars character is the Babadook.

  • NO WE WON’T! WHY IS THERE A SNAKE IN YOUR VAGINA? IN 100 YEARS WE WILL HAVE REVENGE ON YOUR GREAT GRANDDAUGHTER!

  • Fartastic

    It basically tastes like very young rhinoceros.

  • tOmy`

    BooooOoooooOO:

    So the episode 6 of Constantine was so far the most jump-scare heavy out of them all. They even finish this episode in a Hunted House attraction so they could shove in 3 more jump scares. I wish this show was a bit worse so I could hate-watch it.

  • Fartastic

    I heard Rich gained 30 pounds for the role of Space Cop. He didn’t have to, he just did.

  • instant relief

    Can he use his own tentacles as buttplugs?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey I’m into chicks and he isn’t.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Fuck Kit Fisto…get it?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Wow, I had never seen the “Jedi Rocks” shit. Looks like something out of MIB. In fact, the singing alien looks a lot like the alien that was disguised as a Mexican, the same one that dances with Will Smith in the music video.

  • Silly senator. Cliff from the Grabowskis season 5 of course.

    https://youtu.be/NLjCAQQkToI?t=7m11s

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Max Rebo sued Lucas for changing the song.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Does Psycho count? Or does it have to be one of those 80s movies?

  • Palpatine

    It really is the worst Special Edition change.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Worse than the storm troopers riding on lizards?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m now watching the original version on youtube. That same alien, the female one, was there, but practical. Not great, but better than the CGI version. The other alien, with one with the brown coat of fur was nowhere to be seen in the original.

  • tOmy`

    Oh my god and episode 7 just flat out stole a plot-line from Justified.

  • Palpatine

    That’s doesn’t really affect the story.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Neither does Jedi Rocks. The worst change is the Vader NOOOOOOOOO

  • Palpatine

    That song is more fitting for the tone of Jabba’s Palace.

  • I love A Nightmare on Elm Street 2010. I hate A Nightmare on Elm Street 1984.

  • Trask

    The first trailer of the most popular movie of this December. #letthehypebegin

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUp7Qgimn38

  • Hank_Henshaw

    But how were people supposed to know Vader was going through an inner strife regarding his allegiance to the Emperor, or to his son? NOOOOOOOOOOO makes everything better, because it called back to one of the best moments from the prequels. Notice that both NOOOOOOOOOs happen in the third chapter of each respective trilogy. It’s like poetry.

  • Palpatine

    Da fuck?

  • tOmy`

    The really let their creativity take the best of them with that title.

  • Just kidding. I still can’t believe they made it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Adam Sandler and Taylor Lautner look dead inside.

  • When the nr 6 dropped at the end, I wished the rope was around my neck.

    #KILLME

  • TheManHole

    Not nearly raciest enough 0/11

  • tOmy`

    Say what you want but I always wanted to see Buscemi playing a silly part in an Adam Sandler comedy about Wild West.

  • It’s gonna be great. When The Island came out he was the only thing good about it. Even if his dialogue was 100% Bay’ish. Hey! It’s Buscemi, got to love him.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Someone at Jim Henson’s workshop really liked the alien elephant design, ’cause there it was again for Captain EO.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    So in Return of the Jedi we have Lucas’s new formula for Star Wars movies. It’s called “Lets make Jedi for the whole family! We’ll make way more money!” We have Leia in a Metal “Slave Girl” bikini for horny teenager and Dad, we have anthropomorphic aliens like the Jabba Palace guards and Ewoks for the Kids and Han Solo for the Moms. Jedi was the beginning of the end…

  • Trask

    Adam Sandler and Taylor Lautner are dead inside.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Not really, it was still a great movie.

  • Hank_Henshaw
  • Taylor Lautner? Team hunk, that’s all I got to say.

    #wrawr

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Star Wars really dodged a bullet by this going straight to Netflix. The competition at the box office would’ve been brutal.

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    That was actually a failed effect in the originals. The scene with the Dewbacks is actually really well done and was a solid idea that cost too much for the original. To be fair most of the added footage in A New Hope enhanced it for me, but the story changes were horrible. Han shot first motherfuckers!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes it’s a good movie, overshadowed by Empires greatness..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I think I’ll stick to Little Big man..

  • Everyone can understand that making good money is extremely important, so I want to guide you so that you can make your life easier and achive financial freedom.It’s about a project that is paying me $10 k or more every month by doing simple tasks that anyone with basic computer skills can do and you need only good internet connection.This is the best project I have ever worked in my life you will like it.
    ~~look`my` ~~http site~~~listed~~~on~~~my~~~~`PrIvate`~~~~~`page` ~~~~~~~!~TUI5I

  • Palpatine

    Now all we need are Plinkett commentaries for Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith, then the RLM commentaries for the Star Wars Saga will be complete for now.

  • Palpatine

    Piss off!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Anyway how’s your sex life?

  • TheManHole

    What the fuck is with the influx of this spamming shit? Normally we don’t need to put up with this shit for another 3-5 days.

  • TheManHole

    We will still need one for Howard the duck.

  • Fartastic

    In earlier days, when earth was still manageable, the devil visited you in person to make tempting and classy offers with a surprising twist. Nowadays, you have to make do with poorly written anonymous messages from Russian teenage boys. I miss the old times.

  • tOmy`

    Devil was a stand up guy.

  • Amontillado

    Do you think Jaws is behind this one?

  • Amontillado

    He didn’t know at first, forgive him – he grew up on a farm just like Jack and probably likes Supergirl the movie.

  • Amontillado

    I’d buy that for a dollar!

  • Lol! Emperor: You’re pretty much fucked. That line floored me.

  • tOmy`

    You could say it could have been so brutal someone would end up wounding his knee.

  • tOmy`

    I like how racism makes jokes work.

  • instant relief

    Flippin’ your fins, you don’t get too far

    Legs are required for jumping, dancing

    Strolling along down a – what’s that word again?

    Street

  • instant relief

    That’s racist, you racist.

  • Snake Squeezer

    You couldn’t have done the Jedi commentary to the Harmy Despecialized version? You’re gonna make us watch all the horrible changes again?

  • instant relief
  • instant relief
  • It’s worth just to hear them groan and sigh every time they see a CG change.

  • Jaws was usually huge at the top, not at the bottom.

  • Oooh nooo…

  • #evenmoreracism

  • Snake Squeezer

    What?

  • *wink*

  • I believe the Shield Emitter on Endor was located a distance from the control room and generator they were attacking.

  • Snake Squeezer

    It’s gonna be great.

  • instant relief

    The Steven Spielberg sign of approval.

  • instant relief

    The Emporer does cocaine?

  • I didn’t use quotes. edit

  • instant relief

    Lame!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    SPOILERS!!!!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I just remembered something. When I was a kid, I thought the Jedi dressed in all-black, because that’s how Luke was dressed, and the movie was called Return of the Jedi. In the other movies Luke mostly wore light colors, right? Was that supposed to symbolize he was being seduced by the dark side of the force?

  • I’m gonna go with a yes. Followed by both. And Tuesday. To be honest, the Jedi clothes Obi Wan wore, were generic clothes worn by everyone in Star Wars, as pointed out by the frauds, so I guess Luke decided to be stylish/the director thought it would be symbolic.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I now put the Ewoks into the “80s nostalgia” category of defense, which is weak, yes, so I’ll turn it over to Billy Dee to do them proper:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xdd0edT-BeE
    Edit: Also, this is science fantasy v. science fiction. Damn why didn’t i say that first?
    Edit Edit: Why am I defending Ewoks?

  • Marvin Falz

    I figured, that Luke was a rebel through and through, so he wore black to go against the grain. This or he just hadn’t had the opportunity to wash his clothes.

  • Marvin Falz

    The bad thing about the commentary is, that I want to see the bluray version of RotJ.

  • Marvin Falz

    It hit me, when they said, that RotJ is a transition movie and then pointed out the similarities between RotJ and the Prequels.

  • Marvin Falz

    All he does is stand there and nod his head conspiratorially.

  • That’s some terrible compositing. Just as bad as ROTJ.

  • Amontillado

    Always thought Jaws was a power bottom, but I guess you never can tell….

  • Amontillado

    The best remake is the McRib, it is perfection everytime they remake it.

  • Amontillado

    Holy shit, if I can become sexier with age just like Jay, I’ll die a happy man. Also, if my dark humor can become more acerbic and witty with age like Mike, that’ll work too.

  • Niccageshair

    Can’t believe I missed this the first time.

  • Amontillado

    Watch out, they ma su you.

  • Uncle Owen: That wizard is just a crazy old man. Now, tomorrow I want you to take that R2 unit to Anchorhead and have its memory erased. That’ll be the end of it. It belongs to us now.

    Luke: Okey, will do.

    Next day. Luke erases the R2 units memory.

    The end

  • Amontillado

    Uuugh, you’re so San Francisco.
    More like you need to believe, with all your heart and soul, that the old MTV (80’s MTV) needs to be brought back and that Nader is the shit.

  • Amontillado

    Given the amount of awesome that just came out of that video. Mike and Jay, and all of RLM, get all the hearts. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

  • Niccageshair

    Or: that other droid never breaks down.

    They don’t buy R2D2.

    The End.

  • Amontillado

    All the cool superheroes wear black: Blade, Batman, Spiderman (symbiot suit), X men, Butch Cassidy, Preacher, Falcon, Captain America, all the U.S. presidents, the Rat Pack, Reservoir Dogs, Aqueduct Cats, the Stool Pigeons (Animaniacs), Peppy le Peu, etc.

  • Amontillado

    Watch your mouth Susan!

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Yes, but the Stormtroopers still would have attacked Owen’s farm while Luke was in Anchorhead erasing the memory of the R2 unit. Remember, the only reason Luke wasn’t at the farm when it was attacked in the movie was because R2 ran off on the the day before he was supposed to be erasing its memory. So in both scenarios Luke still comes home to find his foster parents dead, catalyzing his desire to become a rebel. The only difference is that he never would have met Ben, leading to a completely different story-line.

  • Niccageshair

    Or: “Hey I know there aren’t any life signs in that escape pod but let’s shoot it anyway just in case”

    “Yeah good point”

    Bang.

    The End.

  • hybridm0ments

    You like shitty indie rock horror movies that aren’t horror movies as your favorite star wars characters?

  • hybridm0ments

    Wouldn’t be as entertaining.

  • hybridm0ments

    Probably a rip off of the Dark Empire comics where he is almost a badguy, but not really and he will probably destroy an AT-AT with his hand.

    Because Hollywood would rather borrow than create.

  • Percy Gryce

    Can I be forgiven for saying that that actually didn’t look half bad? Some nice stunt work. The bastard brothers all teaming up as a criminal gang. A little bit of a comedic Expendables kind of vibe.

    I mean, I know it’s going to suck, but there was at least enough decent footage to make a two-minute trailer. That’s more than I expected from the author of Jack and Jill.

  • Percy Gryce

    Left unaddressed was whether the “making of” featurette–which I thought should be called Hot Dogs and Horny Nurses: How Not to Make a Sci-Fi Comedy Epic Movie Based on a Fake Trailer Over the Course of Several Years With Your Friends in Your Spare Time*–is finished. That’s all that matters to me, Percy Gryce.

    * http://redlettermedia.com/a-conversation-with-len-kabasinski/#comment-1409011855

  • Percy Gryce

    A discount on your donation?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Speaking of Halloween one of those pumpkin spice lattes made me sick. Fuck those things.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That scene should’ve been performed by these guys

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBzRmWeC6Ds

  • Earth

    I like the ending with the posing for a photo that nobody took and Frank Oz, Alec Guinness and Sebastian Shaw showing up at the end, but I can’t help feeling maybe Jedi woulda been a better movie if it had had a more downbeat ending. Maybe Leia was under threat or something (like the Death Star was gonna blow up the planet she was on) so Han in a true act of love kills himself to save her, blowing up the Death Star but unable to get out in time.

    And maybe while they still kill the Emperor and Vader redeems himself, maybe show that Luke was swayed a little by Palpy’s argument about why joining the Dark Side is awesome, thus setting up a more evil Luke (especially now for this new film).

  • Allright smartypants. I got your storyline right here.

    Ben Kenobi: There was nothing you could have done, Luke, had you been there. You’d have been killed too, and the droids would now be in the hands of the Empire.

    Luke: I don’t want to come with you to Alderaan. There’s nothing for me there now. I want to learn the ways of farming and become a nobody like my uncle.

    The end.

  • Earth

    Thanks a lot assholes! I was gonna watch a load of unique interesting horror movies for this Halloween but now all I want to watch is The Nightmare on Elm Street sequels.

  • OMG JOJAQQUIN! YOU NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

    Enough of this Star Wars crap. Swamp Thing, now there is something the kids want.

  • Marvin Falz

    Killing off Han Solo: Harrison Ford has said in an interview, that he himself has suggested to kill off Han in Empire, since he was fed up with the role and wanted to get out of Star Wars.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s a shame no one listened. Now we’ll have to endure his acting in The Force Awakens.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Part time.

  • Marvin Falz

    Unfortunately. But it’s not the first time that he plays in a movie of which he clearly doesn’t want to be a part of, like in Part Time and the one where he trains children to be soldiers and in the Holiday Special.

  • RLMkeepitup

    what if he dies in it, maybe it’s why he signed back up. That’s weird, I’m weird.

  • RLMkeepitup

    yes! New video about the new commentaries, thanks Susan!!! Congrats on space cop being done, gotta be a relief.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I do hear he’s great in the Age of Adeline. I wish Ford can be great again and I hope he is The Force Awakens.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You spelled my name wrong, Brian Blessed.

  • Marvin Falz

    I imagine Frank Oz performing Fozzie and telling bad jokes and Obi-Wan and Yoda heckle him. Then Miss Piggy appears and practices her Karate chops on Obi-Wan and Yoda.

  • RLMkeepitup

    thats scary

  • Hank_Henshaw

    But a lot of peoples were hyperventilating, yelling and crying the first time they revealed Han Solo (an Chewie) in that trailer… you have no soul.

  • RLMkeepitup

    what would a hyperventilating wookie sound like

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Superman had 2 black suits in the comics. Zack Snyder almost went for a black suit for that masterpiece Man Of Steel. Google shows there are MOS action figures and Lego with the black suit, so it probably was in the movie (fuck if I know)? Tim Burton pretty sure had a black suit in his failed movie.

    edit: Superman is in a black suit in the comics right now! So I guess that’s 3 black suits.

    Fuck movies, fuck the comics, fuck everything.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    No idea. Like a panting dog?

  • Great job, EU. Yeah, really great. Woo!
    http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-34649067

  • Fuck those no-lifes. We’re pretty low at the food chain but those reaction videos make people look really pathetic.

  • Or if the debris from the Death Star was enough to end life on the Forest Moon of Endor.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I guess having a soul means overracting for a shitty ass youtube reaction vid.

  • Joe Syxpac

    The universe needs moisture farmers as well as Jedi.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Move here then. Just ignore the pumpkin spice lattes as one made me more sick than (insert reference, preferably TNG)

  • Joe Syxpac

    Reno from The Driller Killer.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Bullshit. Han is still wearing the same clothes. What more is there to know?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Great since she took your advice and hired more pimps and pushers.

  • Trask

    Speaking of TFA, I’m surprised they didn’t give this black guy a grape flavoured light saber as well.

  • RLMkeepitup

    is any government built on common sense and honesty anymore

  • Palpatine

    The fact that your own government can’t make that decision is just plain stupid.

  • Palpatine

    The second one is the gayest horror movie ever made.

  • hybridm0ments

    It was a Freddie rip off. They did a Myers rip off episode too. Ain’t complaining.

  • hybridm0ments

    Speaking of shit put into things that don’t make sense – did you guys ever explain the throbbing music in the background of your commentaries? It stinks.

  • Palpatine

    The government of North Korea is probably the only one that is.

  • Joe Syxpac

    It’s one of my favorite movies to masturbate to.

  • hybridm0ments

    It’s turrible. why

  • Palpatine

    So that’s why Mace Windu had a purple lightsaber. Lucas, you racist!

  • Palpatine

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Palpatine

    Especially the ones that masturbate a droid toy while wearing a Darth Vader mask.

  • Palpatine

    I love the scene where Jesse dances while cleaning his room to the Fonda Ray song.

  • Palpatine

    The episode where Wil Wheaton is being annoying.

  • Palpatine

    They found it on some free music site.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The entire show doesn’t count.

  • Palpatine

    So will Space Cop also be released on December 18th?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Galactic Republic

  • Joe Syxpac

    I hear they taste like leprechaun.

  • Palpatine

    I never watched it so I wouldn’t know.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It will beat the ticket sales of The Force Awakens.

  • hybridm0ments

    That don’t make it right. If you watch it with the movie you have way too much going on. The movie music. The movie dialogue. Jay and silent bob. Plus the disco music. Its distracting.

    OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

  • Joe Syxpac

    Nah, they have an agreement with Disney not to release on the same week.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lfe-udB9My0

  • Like Icare

    He becomes more like his father with each movie, so that is there to give some credence to uncle Owen’s fears.

    Luke starts of all white, then switches to gray for the Empire then to black in Jedi.
    That entire time we are teased the idea that he may turn into his father – which is his secret fear as he finds out on Dagobah.
    And then he gets a mechanic arm… like dad… from dad. And then he nearly kills his own father in rage.

    Again… it is not a battle of pew-pew lasers.
    It’s a battle for Luke’s, Vader’s and ultimately, Universe’s souls.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Guatemala. They just elected an actual comedian President. They know what’s up.

  • hybridm0ments

    Also: If you guys made a shirt with the catch phrase: “OHHHHHH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!” with all of you making stupid faces. I would buy it. But only if it’s a mid 90’s ringer t. Because those are so bad.

  • Like Icare

    Control room is a “back entrance”.

  • Joe Syxpac

    They killed off Wes in season four.

    At least that’s how I like to remember it.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    On the floor front and center – is that the candle from Jay’s vlog? How’d that get there?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Hey, he already works around the clock.

  • Red Skeleton

    Anyone else notice how they say Space Cop is “Done” and not “Completed?” i.e. they just threw their footage onto the floor and shouted “That’s it, I’m done with this shit” and stormed off to get drunk(er).

  • Red Skeleton

    Wait, footage? Why do I picture them filming their shit with old-fashioned celluloid cameras?

  • hybridm0ments

    That’s back when he had a career in front of him. I bet he’s wiping his brow now because he’ll never be in another movie this big again haha

  • RLMkeepitup

    all their merchandise is out of stock at the RLM saloon too

  • TapewormBike

    It’s actually been all drawn on the bottom corners of a physics textbook.

  • hybridm0ments

    Dream Warriors is ok, but it’s still mostly a joke.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Same here. When I saw that Lucas used the dirty ugly brown robes that Ben was wearing I was like fuck that..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    You forgot Chuck Norris. He even did a movie called “Good Guys Wear Black”.

  • Amontillado

    Settle down Kal el, son of Jore-El. We love ya even if you’re a bit like Wonder Bread – filling and doing the trick, but a little bland.

  • Amontillado

    I always thought Stoklasa was a hand cranker myself: http://www.achievement.org/achievers/cam0/large/cam0-012.jpg

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Didn’t Disney kill the EU? What?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Those reactions are genuine, dammit!

  • Captain Turbo

    I hear that guy Ming the Merciless has some interesting ideas about governance.

  • Captain Turbo

    Deanna Troi’s vag on bikini waxing night.

  • Captain Turbo

    I can’t figure out why Wesley Crusher is on The Big Bang Theory. Is it supposed to be some sort of TNG prequel series?

  • Captain Turbo

    True. I sold my soul to rock-and-roll.

  • tOmy`

    All you have to do is join FSOCIETY.

    No, really. We have cookies.

  • frankelee

    Watching Jedi again, it’s not half as bad as it’s made out to be. Maybe it’s because I watched the Godfather movies last week, and then just happened to have watched the other two Star Wars movies this weekend, but in comparison to The Empire Strikes Back, it’s at least 80% as good. Way better than I remembered it, and certainly a lot better with New Hope and Empire in mind.

  • RLMkeepitup

    so you’re saying you still think its the 3rd best of the trilogy? most confusing review eva

  • Alex Lee

    Likewise, the robot version is the most honest person ever. http://img02.deviantart.net/e010/i/2004/254/b/1/fan_art__robot_devil_by_dover19.jpg

  • Wyldstaar

    Is the Jedi commentary track for the theatrical release of the special edition?

  • RLMkeepitup

    it’s the blu ray version, digital anakin edition

  • hybridm0ments

    Wes has made some classic and iconic films, but a lot of crap too. My main problem with him is he mostly makes action movies with some horror elements, and they look blocked and shot like TV shows. It’s too bright and MTV. Idk.. I think Freddie only survived because of Marketing. He’s like Coke or Pepsi for the MTV generation.

  • hybridm0ments

    Matrix nerds watching too much fight club?

  • SnareRiff

    Is the RotJ commentary just 2 hours of silence?

  • Palpatine

    Judging by your profile picture, I take it you’re a Jason fan.

  • hybridm0ments

    Candyman. You look like a big Mace Windu fan from your avatar.

  • Domo

    Palpatine likes Spice Girls. Don’t let his sweet face fool you.

  • Palpatine

    Kung Fury is now on Netflix. Yay.

  • Niccageshair

    I preferred the trailer. They didn’t have enough for 30 minutes.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I watched an interview/making of and its pretty impressive what the creator was able to pull off. Supposed to be a full length film in works.

  • hybridm0ments

    You even have bait in your name.

  • bassbait

    People have said this a million times over. Having the word “bait” in my screen name doesn’t mean I’m a troll.

  • Palpatine

    I thought it was a decent film. Not good, not bad, just decent. I really don’t care for films that are purposely over-the-top, which seems to be the case with all b-movies nowadays. I should just shut up about it, since I know a lot of people on here loved it.

  • bassbait

    Sometimes purposely over-the-top works. Hot Fuzz and Dead Alive are two examples.

    Usually, it fails though. Haven’t seen Kung Fury. Looks like just another mouth on the dick of nostalgia that I’m getting really sick of. Maybe I’m the only person who doesn’t have any interest in 80’s culture though.

  • Norminator

    He just wanted to work…

    Part time.

  • Amontillado

    Jesus Fucking Rich, how could I forget? Then again Steven Seagal wore lots of black.

  • Amontillado

    It’s a difference between riding the trolley or homage. Hot Fuzz and Dead Alive celebrated the genre while poking fun at it and having fun with it. Kung Fury came off as someone jangling keys in front of your face: “Remember the power glove? Remember when that was a thing, well we have it in the movie! Remember the Brat Pack? Well our lead looks like 21 Jump Street Johnny Depp. Remember Double Dragon, well get ready for your socks to be blown off as we channel all of that. Get your nostril clean cause we gonna do a line of 80’s/90’s nerdism. FUCK YEAH RIDE THAT MARIO DRAGON!”

  • Marvin Falz

    And he’s old. I shouldn’t be disrespectful towards an old man.

  • I’ll just agree.

  • Marvin Falz

    I bet you win this bet. One or two accidents on set are kind of like a sign that he’s not fit enough for filming anymore. To me it’s another sign that I shouldn’t buy into the hype for VII. On top of that, I don’t care for Han Solo rejoicing at the sight of the Falcon. Fuck the Falcon. Shoot it with lasers and let it die.

  • Malevolence

    This is a Halloween miracle :hand wave rainbows and sparkles:

  • Malevolence

    Hey now, all the devil did was give us was freewill, knowledge and told Jesus maybe it’s not so good of an idea to starve yourself for 40 days for a father who wants you to die in one of the most horrible ways possible… I don’t see the Devil raping any virgins and making other people raise his child…. just saying

  • instant relief

    Agree to di.. arrhea.

  • TapewormBike

    You can mock all you want, the revolution is coming.

  • Mixmastermind

    The reason Hot Fuzz worked is because it was an over the top action movie set in a small village in Somerset. The action had context for being that way.

  • The Milwaukee Beer Massacre 1824!

    #9/11

  • HOW DID IT GET BURNED!? HOW DID IT GET BURNED!?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And Tay Sway.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    He did survive a plane crash.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I just remembered that that song is in Battlefront II.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Earth

    They’re all jokes aren’t they?

  • Earth

    That one clip of him saying, “it’s true, all of it” reminded me of him in Ender’s Game.

    …Oh no…

  • Joe Syxpac

    Way too much CGI for 80s nostalgia for my taste.

  • Joe Syxpac

    That was amaaaaaaazing!

  • tOmy`

    Faith in Halloween restored!

  • tOmy`

    EU is winning the contest for the most dropped balls this year.

  • tOmy`

    Come on, you know he is gonna be dashing. You saw the trailer! Much energy, so sexy.

    I FUCKING LOVE STAR WARS

  • tOmy`

    Our city is ran by people who used to write political satire and made a web that was mocking our representatives. A few months before the election, the web got shut down and a Facebook account of their leader got blocked.

    So as a joke, they said they gonna start a political party and enter the race. They won.

    Welcome to Czech Republic, everyone.

  • TapewormBike

    And our city is ran by assholes. Hmm.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I think this political party won’t run again. They actually did much better job than previous government, but hey.

    Their leader wrote an open letter from Brussels after he was approached by many politics from around the Europe who asked him what is going on in Czech Republic and our sudden need to go backwards and undo the last 20 years.

    He called that open letter “We are fucked and it is our own fault.” While he was very much on point, that was pretty much the textbook definition of political suicide.

  • Amontillado

    “We want more beer! We want more boiled cabbage!”

  • TapewormBike

    I think 20 years back is being pretty generous in some ways.

  • Amontillado

    He was in a state

  • Amontillado

    I’ve ‘got two turn tables and a Mikecrophone

  • Amontillado
  • Amontillado

    Dear sir, I beg to differ *throws glove on the floor*

  • tOmy`

    Tru dat. There were no immigrants under USSR, so it must have been better!

  • Alicia Soto

    There are many types of work on internet. Some are very good with that you may make a good deal of cash , easily just giving some time sticking with your pc …But the main problem is we don’t know where to find such kind of jobs in a bulk of scams . You may look here , with little effort you may easily reach $8-9k a week and its totally free .I am doing this and advise you to look in here for sure …
    http://www.abilitypath.gq

    q2^uio

  • instant relief

    What a value!

  • Captain Turbo

    RotJ suffered from a lack of Gary Kurtz.

  • tOmy`

    And because it was actually funny. I can’t say that about Kung Fury.

  • Amontillado
  • hybridm0ments

    Is that an existential question?

  • hybridm0ments

    Cool. Sign me up. Do I get a mask?

  • TapewormBike

    And a furry suit. The initiation is pretty wild.

  • hybridm0ments

    Somebody wrote a comment about RLM getting it all wrong about what Palpentine offers Luke, but they deleted it.

    They basically argued that it WAS tempting because he is giving Luke the chance to basically kill Hitler and end the war.

    The problem with that is Luke already knew the Rebels were close to winning, and the Emperor was offering Luke the chance to take Hitlers place. Luke would never just swap being the leader of the good guys to be leader of the bad guys.

  • hybridm0ments

    How about Christian Slater being cool again?

  • TapewormBike

    Uhhhh, sorry? He never stopped. Alone in the Dark? Hellooooo

  • hybridm0ments

    Ain’t seen it.

  • bassbait

    It’s essentially Family Guy. “You’re referencing things I know!”

  • tOmy`

    BoooOOOooooOOO: So it took 8 hours of Constantine for something to finally happen. Yay!

  • bleurgh

    Are the deleted scenes canonical? Because Lukes friend whatshisname joining the resistance was another motivating factor in his decision to do so.

  • bleurgh

    Except Ben still gets Leias message and without involving Luke in his mission may have not ended up sacrificing himself to Vadar in order to save Luke and the others / pass the torch to a new Jedi. Then the series is about an old guy on one last attempt to tie up his loose ends like a Liam Neeson movie.

  • Strong_Bow

    How much from the expanded universe do you think will appear in TFA?

  • Palpatine

    Is it better or worse than the movie with Keaunu Reeves?

  • Marvin Falz

    Oh. Well, that changes everything. Still don’t care about Han Solo’s joy for the Falcon and the Falcon.

  • hybridm0ments

    As much as they can shoehorn in similar to how Nolan ripped off Frank Miller without directly ripping it off.

  • tOmy`

    I really like the movie to be honest.

    And it is really hard to compare a movie that wasn’t very faithful adaptation with a case-of-the-week TV show that’s more faithful. Except the basic premise and the genre, it is really a different kind of a beast.

  • tranglec

    I love the commentary tracks, but I wish the guys would do a little more (meaning anything at all) to help people synchronize the audio with the video. They go off on a tangent right at the beginning of the Jedi commentary without referencing anything that is happening on screen for ages and when they do, then so vague that it doesn’t really help.

  • Palpatine

    I never even knew there was a comic that that movie was based on.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “This commentary is intended to be watched with the blu-ray version of the film. Start the commentary the second the SW logo appears on the screen prior to the title crawl.”

    “Start the commentary along with the film right after the new line cinema logo, right as you see the first image of the film which is Freddy walking.”

    Says right there in the commentary description.

  • Marvin Falz

    The robot devil doesn’t look very trustworthy. Then again, appearances …

  • tOmy`

    Yea, it’s like a 300 hundred issues series and it is pretty popular one as well.

    The confusion often comes from the fact that the comic is called Hellblazer, not Constantine.

    EDIT: Started as Hellblazer, then got renamed. My bad.

  • Marvin Falz

    As far as I remember we are never told why Luke needs to become a Jedi. Nobody says that Luke has to go and kill Vader and the Emperor to save the Universe. It might be implied though. Luke just goes along with everything Obi-Wan tells him.

    In ESB Luke rushes off to help his friends. Vader traps Luke and confronts him. In RotJ Yoda tells Luke that he has to confront Vader once again to fully become a Jedi Knight. He should also beware of the Emperor. Then Luke talks to Obi-Wan and tells him, that he can’t kill his father and that there’s still good in him. Obi-Wan repeats the warning against the Emperor. Since Luke hasn’t had any contact to the Emperor beforehand, it wouldn’t make much sense to tempt him with material possessions and high rank inside the organisation. Luke has no reason whatsoever to trust the Emperor, who begins their verbal exchange by telling him that “he will complete his training”. What a creepy welcome. All the Emperor can do is taunt him and make him believe that his fate and the fate of the alliance is already sealed.

  • instant relief

    tl;dr

  • Lazy

    You’re only getting your period once a year, Susan? You should see your gynecologist about that.

  • Palpatine

    Play the commentary when shit starts to happen.

  • instant relief
  • Palpatine

    Since there’s a Friday the 13th next month, does that mean we’ll be getting a commentary on the movie of the same name?

  • RLMkeepitup

    its jason marathon all day on amc, they should have mike and jay story notes

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What does Quantum of Solace mean?

  • Amontillado

    Exactamundo!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Even though it’s on YouTube.

  • Amontillado

    That your isolation is times four. So like more emo than Anton Newcombe, but not Brian Elliot levels yet.

  • Captain Turbo

    It’s Latin for “sophomore slump.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That does not make sense, kinda like the movie.

  • tOmy`

    “Space Cop is done?” Pfffffffft. How about these apples:

    Boooom, new KIKI just got announced! Tomorrow, 22:00 CEST. Including some Star Wars stuff for some reason.

    *drops mic, leaves stage, shags waitress, never calls again*

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Someone suggested me to something crazy: send RLM every single Scooby Doo animated movie ever.

  • ♬ You’re just a hobo and nobody loves you
    He’s just a hobo from a poor family
    Spare him his life from this monstrosity ♬

    *furiously stabbs hobo with knife*

    My name is Paul Allen. JUST SAY NO!

  • *scientist man is on the case

  • Beer will fix that. 5 minutes into any RLM product and you won’t remember anything.

    #VALUE

  • Would you be quiet! I’m trying to watch Ridiculous 6.

  • Acetone based diet.

  • tOmy`

    Anton is not an emo, he is the record company.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    In layman’s terms, it means Pity Fuck.

  • Red Skeleton

    It means “the smallest unit of measurement of solace” or something. Or did you not want serious answers?

  • Domo

    RLM said Space Cop is done.

    It doesn’t mean it’s gonna get released!!!

    Hahahahaha!

  • Marvin Falz

    Wiki says: “In physics, a quantum is the minimum amount of any physical entity involved in an interaction.”

  • Marvin Falz

    Speaking of time travel: this is 9 years old: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCARADb9asE

  • Palpatine

    What an odd suggestion.

  • Palpatine

    I know this question will sound crazy, but are there any changes from the Star Wars Special Editions that you guys actually liked? The only one I liked was the music change at the end of Jedi. Sorry, but “Yub Nub” sucks.

  • Marvin Falz

    I like Yub Nub. I love the Victory Celebration, it conveys a feeling of peace and is a fitting background music for Vader’s cremation. Other than that I can’t think of any other positive change.

  • bassbait

    I don’t even know if I’ve seen all of the special editions. I just remember catching Jedi on TV and being like “wtf why is there CGI in star wars all of a sudden?”

  • bassbait

    that said, Jedi Rocks was a great addition!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It is but might be worth it just to get to the WWE Mystery Thing.

  • bassbait

    probably one of the best films of the previous decade, comedy or otherwise, along with Shaun of the Dead. The over-the-top parts of the film are given context that makes it funny. Kung Fury is just a funhouse mirror of what everybody thinks the 80’s was like.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yub Nub sucks and I like the replacement song but it doesn’t really fit, it seems weird to me.

  • Marvin Falz

    Wait, I do remember another change in ESB I like and which doesn’t hurt the movie. Leia, Chewie and Lando pick up Luke with the Falcon and Vader returns to his star destroyer. In the original he growls “To the ship!” and next time we see Vader he’s at the bridge. In a special edition, he orders in a – I don’t know – disappointed sounding voice “Alert my star destroyer to prepare for my arrival”. Cut to Luke’s rescue. Then we see his shuttle flying between cloud city and his star destroyer. Cut to Luke’s rescue. Finally Vader’s shuttle lands in a hangar bay, the shuttle opens and he walks out of it.

  • Palpatine

    The original line was; “Bring my shuttle!”, which he said in an angry sounding voice. The scene of Vader arriving on his Super Star Destroyer was actually an alternate take from Jedi.

  • Robotpals

    A small, discrete unit of comfort.

  • Palpatine

    How so?

  • The Ghost

    My wife is quite the horror buff, so we’re actually going to watch the film while listening to the commentary. Usually I just listen to the commentary without watching the film. Even if I’ve never seen the film before.

    Go Mets.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It clearly isn’t the original song and it just clicks in my brain it wasn’t.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I often hear Jay complain that a bad movie is bad because it is just a series of events that happen to the same people, and not a story. Aren’t stories just a sequence of events that happen to the same people? What’s the difference between a story and a sequence of events? This is a harder question to answer than you might think.

  • Robotpals

    I honestly can’t think of a single thing that didn’t distract, detract, or completely stop the plot.

  • bassbait

    I’d imagine the difference is in conflict and scope? As in, a series of events that has no conflict to go off of, is just a series of events, and not a “story”. And if the conflict doesn’t go anywhere and is very minor, same thing. It has to be enough of a story to have impact on the viewer.

    I’m offering up a possible answer to the question, but I don’t agree with my answer, I’m just saying this is probably the line of thinking that Jay has. He’s substituting “story” for “compelling story” is my best guess.

  • Marvin Falz

    Interesting. Vader walking towards the camera in an angle which shows his dominance is far more impressive than him walking sideways past the audience.

  • bassbait

    Am I the only one who was never scared by The Nightmare on Elm Street? I’ll admit, I’m not scared by any horror movies at all anymore, but when I was younger I was scared by a LOT of horror movies, and the first one I recall not being scary to me was Nightmare on Elm Street. Since then I’ve had a gradual decline and now I find myself unable to even understand why something is actually *supposed* to be scary.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    There’s a lot of subtle changes, even in Empire, that you may not have noticed. (But your brain did) Like walls turning into windows in Cloud City. https://40.media.tumblr.com/a19b06423f2bbd4f2ac32280b649a5a4/tumblr_inline_nscr73Ami71tt67ie_500.png

  • Domo

    Palpatine’s face in Empire. A major improvement over the original without going into Monster Mash territory of the Prequels.

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/yZlSwBag61o/maxresdefault.jpg

  • Marvin Falz

    It means it sucks to be in possession of a can of oil and nothing to drink in the desert. (I don’t understand it either.)

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I recently watched Greenaway’s Drowning By Numbers, which could easily be described as a sequence of events.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Holy Motors is a great movie with pretty much no story.

  • Snake Squeezer

    So, conflict = story?

  • Palpatine

    The concept of the film is what makes it scary. The fact you can get killed in your sleep is a scary concept.

  • bassbait

    to me, story = sequence of events. But to people who say “this film had no story”, in a less literal manner, they mean “this film had no conflict” or “this film didn’t have a coherent/compelling story”.

    So for someone like Jay, it might well be the case that conflict = story.

  • Palpatine

    The concept of the film is what makes it scary. The fact you can get killed in your sleep is a pretty scary idea.

  • Palpatine

    Jay always seems more interested in the technical details of films.

  • bassbait

    That’s the least scary death I could possibly imagine, so I don’t find it a compelling concept. Not to mention I’ve had much more disturbing dreams than anything that happens in Nightmare on Elm Street (or what I’ve seen of the sequels).

  • Palpatine

    It really depends on what you find scary.

  • Niccageshair

    I don’t know but there is something about the bleakness of that movie I really like. I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense but I think its tone really works. Too bad the writers strike prevented it from being actually written.

  • bassbait

    I find myself agreeing with Jay much more than Mike. Though the big difference for me from both Mike and Jay is theme. I need films to have themes/messages that resonate, and craft those things creatively.

  • bassbait

    Surrealism usually. Things that are beyond comprehension and yet are still happening (the end of 2001, for example). Also certain body horror things, especially when combined with surrealism (like Cronenberg). The premise for Nightmare on Elm Street could have easily worked for me if not for the fact that the film itself was kinda lackluster.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Paul Haggis wrote it, that’s why it sucks.

  • RLMkeepitup

    a story typically is a series of events applied to multiple characters. because the characters are part of the same story, they influence each others situation. it gets more complex i.e. you’d likely imagine yourself personified as a particular character, side, or viewpoint.

  • Palpatine

    I’m more interested in story and characters.

  • Niccageshair

    I think your question is more about plot vs story. Martin Scorsese has said The Departed was his first movie with an actual plot. His earlier movies were more based around character/setting than this person does A because B.

    They both work as long as they are consistent when it comes to maintaining the character. If Travis Bickle had broke out into a Singing in the Rain style dance number with Sport in central park at the end of Taxi Driver, it would be a break of character and take you out of the movie.

    For more plot driven movies, the movie has to make sure the plot beats are believable. That doesn’t mean they have to be logical in real life, just within the movie itself.

  • tOmy`

    I think police forces boycotting Tarantino movies is one of the best use of police force in history. Hopefully, they have some meetings about this in conference rooms, so we can keep them off the streets and make them safe again.

  • bassbait

    for some reason I have a really difficult time investing in story and characters. Sometimes it all clicks (the good Star Wars films, Toy Story, Goodfellas), but most of the time I’m more interested in the “voice” of the film rather than the progression of plot.

  • Niccageshair

    By all accounts the writers strike hit before he could do anything on it. It was basically written on set by the Director and Craig. Also, of the main Bond writers I would take Haggis over Purvis and Wade any day. Those two left alone wrote Die Another Die.

  • Palpatine

    #BlackLivesMatter

  • Niccageshair

    Live look in to those conference rooms:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObbLapUaZd4

  • Bubs

    The thing I’ve always found shocking is really just how many people are murdered by cops every year.

    #BlueLivesMurder

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #BlackStormtrooperLiveMatter

  • RLMkeepitup

    sounds like you’re habituated to the genre (I think its a dying genre) as a kid anything can be scary because its a new situation, uncertainty. Nightmare was perhaps the start of your brain saying this is more goofy than scary. It’s the reason open ended movies can be more powerful since we’re uncertain what it meant or why a plot device wasn’t spelled out for us.

  • bassbait

    That about sums it up. I think someone could bring the genre back if they went the Hellraiser route and combined elements of surrealism and gore to make something so otherworldly that you’re left in a totally different mindset than you came in with. But they’d have to pull off everything really well.

    And open endings are usually better because resolutions are often disappointing. Especially when the story is more ambitious.

  • bassbait

    Which leads me to a side question – how often, in a trilogy of films, is the final film in the trilogy the *best*? I can’t think of a single example where the final film is the best.

  • Palpatine

    You like Hellraiser?

  • TapewormBike

    Rarely. If you plan a story across three films, the second one is where things get actually interesting, just by the virtue of storytelling tending to fall into the three act structure. When you have a whole movie dedicated to complicating things and deepening the characters, it’s no surprise it ends up better than the resolution. Empire is the cliché, Two Towers is in my book the same.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Return of The King. Pusher III. Revenge of The Sith.

  • TapewormBike

    I felt quite gutted while watching Pusher 3. But man, Sith can go sit in the corner and I don’t really think Return of the King is the best of the three, even though I have seen it the most in theaters.

  • tOmy`

    I wanna become groovy.

  • TapewormBike

    You gonna need a chainsaw first.

  • Niccageshair

    And we need to take that hand right off.

  • tOmy`

    Bambi 3 is gonna be the bomb.

  • TapewormBike

    What do they do to his mom in that one?

  • bassbait

    as far as I remember, yea. I found it scary as a kid and probably wouldn’t find it scary now, but it’s got a lot of fascinating things going on with it that make it worth watching just as a film in general. I’d put it in the same kind of camp as The Thing or The Exorcist.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Sith is simply the most watchable of the prequels. That says very little but I’m sticking it with as a kinda funny kinda legit answer. Return of The King trumps the other two LOTR movies with it’s immense scope of action and emotion. Yes even with it’s 45 endings I find it to be faultless. Also how about Army of Darkness or The Good,The Bad&The Ugly?

  • tOmy`

    I think it’s around zero here.

  • bassbait

    ROTS is true on technicality (the technicality being that the first two are complete shit). RotK idk about that one, but I don’t like any of the LOTR films so it’s hard to say.

  • bassbait

    Army of Darkness better than Evil Dead 2? That’s tough to say. I’ve seen AoD more, because it’s the only film of the series that I own (found it at a goodwill for 1 dollar, had to buy it… same day I bought Nukie and 2001 on VHS, so that was a strange day). But I recall liking Evil Dead 2 more initially. I’d better watch it again to make sure though, because AoD is pretty damn good.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    WHATTTTTTT THE FUUUUUUUUCK

    -Mr.Plinkett Bambi 3 review.

  • TapewormBike

    Those are third sequels, not necessary the third pieces of a trilogy. From where I stand, I always found the threat and conflict in the Two Towers to be better defined and the Helm battle is edited to perfection with the other storylines. It’s not just 45 endings, I found the whole of Return of the King, yes epic and sweeping, but also kind of muddled in a lot of places.

  • My ex wife

    Indeed, it’s weird.

  • TapewormBike

    Well the gun culture is also pretty damn different.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Mike can get pretty technical…in a Plinkett review at least.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    that’s certainly the popular belief. Usually it’s the character study movies centered on characters that have no arc whatsoever that get the most vile hate from average cinema goers for “not having a story”

  • My ex wife

    Is that a rain coat?

  • My ex wife

    My entire sex life? I knew there must be a reason I didn’t like that name.

  • TapewormBike

    Btw. OMITTED.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes. I liked it because of the “coolness” of it, not the “scariness”. The bodybag hall scene is actually more scary to me now

  • Palpatine

    That’s because you don’t have any black people fucking things up. Aaaaand it’s time to change the topic.

  • Palpatine

    And Robert Englund.

  • My ex wife

    Those bastards!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Nobody knew who he was at first, so it wasn’t Robert Englund that made it cool it was the special effects and the teenage angle which worked for me at age 15. Also I liked the girls in the movie and of course Freddy (who was Freddy to me not R Englund)…

  • My ex wife

    They do have almost limitless catch phrase t-shirt possibilities.

  • My ex wife

    Haven’t we all learnt from our time here that you can never have too many things going on. Just keep shoving more shit on the screen and everything will be ok.

  • My ex wife

    Welcome to Europe.

  • My ex wife

    Sounds great! Can I come over, claim benefits and get a free house?

  • bassbait

    What matters to me is if the film is intellectually or emotionally resonant. The reason why most people hate character study movies is because they only care about the formula of a movie, more than the actual movie. If it has a start, rising action, climax, resolution, it doesn’t matter that the movie itself was shit. That’s how I’ve felt about a lot of the Marvel movies – it feels good to watch because it’s a formula, but once it’s over I feel numb, like I lost 2 hours of my life, and can’t remember what I just saw. All modern blockbusters except for Mad Max that I’ve seen felt that way. Then again, only other one lately that comes to mind is Star Trek: Into Darkness. Maybe I’m just seeing all the wrong movies?

  • Amontillado
  • Amontillado

    It’s, it’s just crazy enough that it just might work….

  • Amontillado
  • Amontillado

    On the other hand, you get to do this once it’s gone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmI3pJHIT90

  • Snake Squeezer

    Did Mad Max have a story? If so, barely.

  • Wilson Chambers

    “How do you undo Boba Fett’s death?”

    Four-second shot of unpaid actor in Fett costume depicted — waist-up and from three-quarters rear — as emerging from Sarlacc mouth, shaking his fist at cheaply green-screened skiff escaping over a dune.

    And now I can’t unsee it.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I remember him fondly as the vegetarian “V” alien on “V”. They need to bring that back. Again.

  • bassbait

    I’m saying it has a start, rising action, climax, and resolution, and was memorable and not shit within that formula.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If Space Cop is a theater, near me or not, I’m might be going to it.

  • Strong_Bow

    Ughhhhhh. You been watching CNN again?…..not all our cops are bad……..

  • Palpatine

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  • TapewormBike

    Of course not. But the bad ones whack fools.

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

    Also, MSNBC is the one that makes cops look bad. And it’s mostly city cops and ones from the South who do that shit.

  • Palpatine

    *foos

  • TapewormBike

    ‘sright.

  • tOmy`

    ’twas just a joke, copper. Don’t call the cops.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thank you, it took five months to write it.

  • Palpatine

    Tru dat mah nigga.

  • Domo

    “If Space Cop is a theater, near me or not, I’m might be going to it.”

    This Space Cop theater sells hot dogs, right?

    Do they sell Titanic popcorn tubs with decomposing corpses in it, too? Or is that the Plinkett theater in New Jersey?

  • TapewormBike

    Whoa, we don’t use word like “mah”, ’round here.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re implying it can be in any theater.

  • Palpatine

    The only theatrical screening Space Cop is getting is in Mike’s basement.

  • TapewormBike

    His name is actually Rich Evans.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The same one where they filmed Richard Edlund vs His Sons?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You racist.

  • Palpatine

    The very same. Reserve your seats now!

  • hybridm0ments

    True.

  • Michael Collins

    Check out the voice over work Mike Stoklasa has provided for this trailer..

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2xp-qtUlsQ

  • Domo

    It’s a theater. IN SPAAAAAACE.

  • Palpatine

    It’ll play in the ones it isn’t laughed out of.

  • tOmy`

    Woah, that is one terrible voice acting.

    Mario had much better voice acting.

  • It’s not terrible it’s just offbeat.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He sounds just like Mike as Palpatine.

  • Not even Netflix wanted that pile of crap…. I mean Space crap.

    #ridiculous6rules

    #cheifpeepee

  • Michael Collins

    Wait, are you saying it isn’t Mike as Palpy?

    Anyway, I played the beta of that game, and as exciting as it looks in the trailer, it gets pretty boring after about 30 mins of play.
    Not something I would purchase.

  • tOmy`

    I am still not sure if this trailer is supposed to be intentionally hilarious. Come on, it is an AAAAAAA+++ title people have been waiting for since the last one, give it something more than “Run, you rebel scum!”

  • A Space Cop VHS Special Edition would be nice.

  • Red Skeleton

    With shitty looking Special Effects spliced in please.

  • Strong_Bow

    Ruin it for the rest.

  • It’s Space Cop. It’s already full of those things.

  • Domo

    Or random porno shots spliced in.

    Make those children cry and the Rich Evans of the world smile.

  • Strong_Bow

    That 911 would result in a drone visit. “Kill all the Heroes!”

  • Bubs

    So you bring up an interesting point. I know next to nothing about film distribution. Is it even possible for a small independent film like Space Cop to get into theaters anymore? I know back in the 70s, it was pretty common. But it seems like Hollywood churns out so much bullshit on a daily basis, that there’s really no room for a movie that cost less than 3 million to make.

    If anyone has anymore insight into this than I, please post a comment on this webzone.

  • Strong_Bow

    I would agree. Living outside of Philly corroborates your later point.

  • Michael Collins

    Do you think it will make it onto BotW?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It needs balancing. They fix that game will be awesome.

  • Probably not in this timeline.

  • bassbait

    The game actually looked pretty good… until Vader threw his lightsaber, then my excitement died down. I don’t want any stupid prequel shit in any star wars games!!!

    no star wars game will top star wars kinect.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Vader threw his lightsaber in Jedi, you idiot.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    dude, throwing the litesaber is from KOTOR. Get with the program.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    the wasnt mikes voice.

  • bassbait

    At this point, it’d be like touring with a band – you take the film with you and do one-off screenings in whatever venue will have you, and then you’re done. The biggest independent film I saw in theaters was probably Upstream Color (which was fucking great) and even then I think it was only showing for like a weekend in the small theater I went to. I had to travel 6 hours to see it too (which is actually pretty common given where I used to live at the time).

    Small films don’t find their way to you, you find your way to them, so chances are very low that you’re gonna see Space Cop in a theater unless you live in America, specifically near LA or the Wisconsin/Illinois area. Those are probably the only places RLM would manage to get it shown in. And if they do have a screening in LA? I’ll be there.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    actually he just kind of hovers. He said he wanted to be cool like Thor.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’d wonder if it could get enough attendance to payback renting a local theater screen? As bub said its less risky for a theater to have 8 screens of pixels than let a screen aside for a film without much marketing or a distributor behind it. Kinda sucks. Perhaps if it did well at a film festival it would be picked up but there’s probly tons of competition.

  • bassbait

    it was stupid in Jedi too.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    no it was awesome

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    they got it from kotor

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    and I mean from a video game stand point

  • Captain Turbo

    “So then I tickled the Sarlacc’s uvula until he spit me up like an undercooked potato. True story.”

  • tOmy`

    Lightsaber throwing(tm) goes back to the early SW games. I think even Jedi Knight had it and that’s 1998.

  • bassbait

    I just think it’s dumb on every level. Here comes ultra-geek cynic time:

    The light part of the light saber isn’t a solid object. It can cut straight through a person, so why would it stick inside of someone? I can forgive the stupidity if it was at least *cool* but it isn’t, and then what makes it worse is that he already can just use force push to kill the same person without throwing his lightsaber away, and then on top of that, that’s what projectile weapons are for in the first place, so why not use a blaster, all of which are “cooler” to me than if he just throws his saber like an idiot. It’s entire purpose was just to be more video gamey and that takes away from the strength of star wars as a universe.

    Personally my favorite star wars games were the SNES Super Star Wars games, and I found The Force Unleashed to be probably my least favorite Star Wars game, which was all about being video gamey. It felt like I was playing a prequel.

  • tOmy`

    I know this will make me a naughty lunatic cheerleader, but I think I am actually looking more to / am more interested in seeing Suicide Squad than The Force Awakey-wakey.

    I am so sorry.

  • tOmy`

    Well, that’s the thing: Prequels were a movie and those fights were rather stupid.

    But this is a game and it is supposed to be gamey. Ain’t noone gonna play duel from New Hope, no matter if it had much more going on in it than crap and even more crap.

    And as far as I remember, at least from previous games, it cuts through people and returns to you, it doesn’t stick inside of someone.

  • Fartastic

    I’d really be looking forward to eating the famous Mann’s Chinese Theater’s Chinese men hotdogs.

  • tOmy`

    Boba’s line is so cringe-worthy and ultimately nonsensical that even LEGO Star Wars would steer clear away from it.

    But people apparently love it, so hey.

  • bassbait

    you definitely have a point, but when you get to this level of graphic quality and world-building in a game, the gamey things stick out like a sore thumb, if you get what I mean? Like, imagine you can LIVE in Star Wars. And then you see shit like Jar Jar Binks. It’s off-putting, it ruins the effect, and I think the more gamey aspects, at this age of game engines, serve to undermine the level of immersion that it’s capable of.

    In a game like Super Star Wars where it’s 16 bit? I can forgive all sorts of gamey elements, because I see it more like a side-scrolling action game with Star Wars iconography thrown in, and not an actual experience within the Star Wars universe. The closer you get to making a true Star Wars experience? The more the flaws will stand out. So I guess that’s my problem with it. My problem isn’t that ONE sword throw happened, my problem is that it’s indicative that such an action, and things like it, will be common in the game, which will totally ruin the effect of feeling like a part of the Star Wars story/universe.

  • tOmy`

    I can agree with that, but look: This is a freaking multiplayer based FPS craziness.

    We ain’t talking KOTOR or… well, KOTOR. This is about 24 people screaming racial slurs at each other while dodging X-Wings, not going all philosophical about the Force.

    Basically: entertainment, coolness and gamey stuff will be more prominent than it would be in a case of single-player oriented, story-driven piece.

    Dude, Leia is throwing shields around battlefield.

  • tOmy`

    Bambi is on the quest of finding all three pieces of his mother scattered throughout the jungle. Only after he finally finds them and puts them all together, he realizes that her soul is already burning in hell.

    And you can’t have a living being without a soul.

    Moral of the story: Don’t lose your soul, children.

  • Palpatine

    Marvel DC shill!

  • Michael Collins

    0 Rly?

  • Strong_Bow

    I am looking forward to it too. I hope the tone is so of whacky and absurdly violent. I don’t want to see another set of characters designed for children doing things that may converge on genocide.

  • tOmy`

    Wait… are you talking about Star Wars?

  • bassbait

    you’re right. I forgot that we live in a world where single player experiences no longer exist. Aka a world in which I don’t play new games.

  • Niccageshair

    Say Jedi was all a dream?

  • Red Skeleton

    obviously I meant EXTRA shitty effects.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I wonder if there are any duplication houses that do that anymore?

  • bleurgh

    For a start, the protagonist has to have a series of character traits and they need to be changed by the events that happen to them.

  • Like Icare

    That would be hipsterical!

  • bleurgh

    Additionally in well written films and television shows one event causes another, rather than a whole bunch of unlikely events happening to one person or group of people.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Last year, I think it was last year, there was a feature length movie from another webzone that does review videos, and those guys managed to have screenings of their movies in some cities around the U.S. I don’t know how RLM compares to that other webzone, when it comes to traffic/subscribers/views, but what i’m saying is it is possible. I’m sure it’d be a logistics nightmare, but it’s possible. Anything is possible with Bush in the White House.

  • bleurgh

    I liked the snow yeti in Empire. That things cool looking. Nothing else.

  • Snake Squeezer

    George Lucas or Will Smith… hmmmm… equally heinous in my mind.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    You show Boba Fett coming out the other hole of the Sarlacc. If it has a mouth, it might have other hole(s).

  • RLMkeepitup

    Freddy and Jason both make cameos in Wishmaster. In Jason X cronenberg gets killed – gruesomely of coarse. Lots of meta moments later in the 13th series. My favorite is when Kane Hodder calls Jason a big pussy, and when Jasons heart starts making korotkoff sounds with no fluid.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Yeah, I’m not arguing. I’m just saying that everybody talks about how important story is, then they go see Fury Road and love it.

  • Snake Squeezer

    If you presold tickets, and could show them the money before the screening.. I don’t know… sounds possible. Would probably have to be a locally owned theatre though, not one of the mega chains.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    So I’ve gotten 4 hrs of sleep in 48 hrs. I’m going to get drunk and have me a little…
    Mel Brooks Halloween marathon:
    Young Frankenstein
    High Anxiety
    Dracula: Dead and Loving it
    Happy early Halloween!!!

  • tOmy`

    Happy early Halloween to you too, buddy!

  • bassbait

    well, films and TV shows can be well written even when it’s a bunch of unlikely events happening. I mean that’s basically what a farce is.

  • tOmy`

    Really depends on the TV show tho.

  • Like Icare

    Ah yes… Those rental tapes that had movies recorded over other movies…
    Sometimes it’s ending of another movie, sometimes a football game, sometimes it’s porn…

    And then you don’t know which porn movie it was cause the first 10 minutes or so were cut by a Danny DeVito movie, and only years later do you find it… and it’s not as good as you remembered it.

    http://www.klangundkleid.de/img/plakate/film/20071124112428-yugo_110_g.jpg

    There’s some deep philosophical shit there, about crossing rivers and porn.

    Which gives me an idea.
    Forget random porn shots.
    They should release a VERY special edition on tapes originally containing Nukie.
    It’ll be like one of them van Gogh paintings, with a painting painted over a painted painting.
    That would be SO dense and like poetry…

  • Like Icare

    Quick! Try reading tiny text in a badly lit room.
    If the conditions are just right you’ll start thinking that you may be going blind.

  • tOmy`

    There is plenty of great single-player experience, but e-sports are the thing now and multiplayer is basically a go-to thing for massive popularity. I wouldn’t say it is killing anything, because after all, it is a different kinda game.

  • tOmy`

    Exactly, van Gogh was a great poet.

  • bleurgh

    Look closely at farce, like Frasier or Seinfeld for example, there are usually 2-3 premises i.e. so and so has the voice of a man, so and so doesn’t want anyone in their apartment etc. One event always directly causes the next event or the one after that. There’s occasionally some contrivance, like some idea seemingly randomly introduced in the first act figuring into the climax, but you can get away with one of those if your payoff is funny.

  • bleurgh

    Nah, I’m comfortable with my statement.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Do players get to be the Emperor and, if so, can you mod him with pantaloons? They’re stylish.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Sometime in “Fuck You, It’s January” would be the appropriate theatrical release date.

  • bassbait

    You may not know what TV show my picture is from, but it’s a show that contradicts what you’re saying. I do love Seinfeld, but my favorite TV show ever is also an exception to your rule – Xavier: Renegade Angel. The show prides itself on incoherency, and intentionally goes against a lot of “rules of TV”

  • tOmy`

    What I was going for was the story / events when it comes to a whole season (or the whole show), rather than just one episode and the differences it creates between TV shows. Let’s use the most blatant example:

    CSI: Miami is a case-of-the-week show.
    The Wire is a case-of-the-season(s) show.

    I wasn’t trying to argue with your statement, because I think you are absolutely right, I was just pointing out that you cannot throw all TV shows into one bag when it comes to writing – not saying you did, my comment was more of an after-thought.

    So I guess what I am saying is that “one event causes another” could be an episodical thing (let’s say House M.D.) or a story of the whole season.

    Again, not saying you are wrong or anything, just adding my 49 cents.

  • bleurgh

    Yeah, I’ve seen it, but a different set of rules applies to post-modern stuff that’s designed to contradict the typical rules of good story-telling. The whole point of that show is that nothing is connected, it’s this dream-like series of ideas that contradict one another. You can’t have an episode of Frasier with an event like that and you can’t have an episode of renegade angel that plays like an episode of frasier. In other words, these stories need to be internally consistent.

  • bassbait

    Most of why I don’t play new games is no money for new consoles or better hard-ware, as well as no money for the games themselves. But beyond that I’m just not interested in what games have to offer lately. I tend to go back to older consoles and play the games I missed from previous eras at this point. Cheaper, more guaranteed to be a good experience.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Strong_Bow

    I wasn’t until you mentioned it. That too; ‘kill the younglings’. What a bunch of bullshit. I was thinking Superman; an American hero standing up for what is right; destroying an entire city… What a bunch of assholes in Hollywood.

  • Palpatine

    Get outta my popcorn tub! Raaargh!

  • bassbait

    I’d say it works one way but not the other. Xavier actually *can* play out like Frasier for an episode, because the show’s entire idea is subverting expectations, so it fits right in with the nature of the show. It just can’t have more than one episode like that.

    I’m more of a post-modern person in the first place. David Lynch, Adult Swim, Andy Kaufman, that sort of thing. I’ve seen enough of the formula that I’m more interested in watching people break it at this point. I’m entertained by both styles though.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Collide With Destiny” sounds like porn waiting to happen, amirite?

  • Now I Get It

    You’re right too, Professor.

  • Snake Squeezer

    But isn’t that character arc, not story?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Does Mulholland Drive have a story?

  • Niccageshair

    Let it go. There’s no answer.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have only seen bits of it…. on porn websites…..
    Just kidding(Mostly) I have it on dvd because i liked it… but not enough to bother buying the bluray.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You will be… You will be.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats not fair!
    Will Smith has provide a consistent level of talent for most of his career. (Basically average.)
    Jorge showed talent then went mad.
    diff’rent strokes man,

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I wish people would get over Ronald Raygun, The cold war is over people!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I bet you $5 RLM could get it on about 10 screens in Melbourne, If they got off their arses and e-mailed a few places.
    The Astor Theater
    Kino Cinemas
    ACMI
    Rooftop Cinema
    Cinema Nova

    or the Melbourne Independent Film Festival.(They might even shell out for plane tickets.)
    RLM needs to whore themselves out more.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Wizard is right. this is a digital thing. there is no 35mm print… and what do independant cinemas rely on….
    35mm prints.
    The only cinemas that would play Space Cop cant.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    And a remington .12 gauge with the walnut stock.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    About 100 people die in police custody for every 1 cop. they are winning the war on crime, why are they complaining?

  • Like Icare

    Another proof that nobody can beat Titanic.

  • bleurgh

    Name a decent movie with a story and no character arc.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats the stupid thing. We are gun nuts! this is a long weekend and by 5pm tomorrow it will sound like Syria around here. *Note there is more rabbits than guns in Australia.
    But most people cant buy a machine gun. so the whole mass shooting thing has gone.
    A murder spree now goes like this.

    https://au.news.yahoo.com/a/29706350/police-search-mosque-in-parramatta-shooting-investigation/

  • Strong_Bow

    The first half is the fictional portrayal of what Naomi Watt’s character desires in the second part; it’s like poetry, it actually rhymes.

  • Domo

    My joke was in relation to his grammatical omission, that Space Cop is an actual theater, not whether Space Cop is played in a theater, hence Space Cop Theater serving hot dogs and Titanic popcorn tubs.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its because people keep making witty remarks on their spam comments.
    Shit floats…. Oh, wait.

  • Snake Squeezer

    is poetry a story?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Plinkett? Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time”

  • Snake Squeezer

    If by skill you mean acting like an arrogant buffoon and taking over ten years in the entertainment industry before he even began to have the slightest idea of what acting was, sure.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Die Hard.

  • Bart Crowe

    I hope we get another Halloween Best of the Worst. That is my favorite thing you guys do.

  • RLMkeepitup

    pretty sure it’s gonna be out by the 31st or Mike wouldn’t bring it up #fraudality

  • Domo

    If this Halloween BoTW is without Jessi, though, I’ll be so incredibly sad.

    Then I’ll realize it’s Rich Evans Day, and that will make me feel a little better.

  • TapewormBike

    Exactly. No pressure, but it’s gonna be the best, right?

  • I can’t believe that Mike and Rich actually missed a chance to make a Star Trek reference in their Nightmare on Elm Street commentary.

    As soon as they started talking about the greaser (or greezer) and asked why 80s movies kept going to 50s stereotypes for their bad-boy characters, I had a more relevant example I started yelling at my tablet. It never answered.

    But anyways, Mike was theorizing that 30 or 40something writers in the 80s, remembering the bullies from their youth, tried putting them in their movies without updating the characters. But guess which movie got it right? That’s right: Star Trek IV featured a very 80s (well, late 70s/early 80s) punk complete with colourful mohawk, overly loud boombox on public transit. You may remember Spock neck pinching him and shutting off the boombox, but…Mike…didn’t? Really?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah exactly, like i said. he has been consistent.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Someone finally skinned Jar Jar. i.imgur.com/jZ48ohhl.jpg

  • instant relief

    I blame it on Mike’s alcohol problem. All the bad movies are messing with his brain.

  • instant relief

    It rubs the lotion on its skin or… oh, wait…. I’m so sorry, Jar Jar.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think Palpy’s voice is Sam Witwer, the Force Unleashed guy. Yeah, he sucks. And I’m pretty sure Boba was Temuera Morrison.

  • Marvin Falz

    George Lucas’ style of poetry is one of repeating slightly changed lines and shifting them around in the stanzas. A rhyme consists of words which sound similar but have different meanings, unless you rhyme the same words. So the infamous saying should be: “It’s like poetry, it repeats.”

  • instant relief

    But if the prequels were a repeat of the originals, they would be watchable.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Marvin Falz

    Okay, how about: he uses slightly changed lines from the originals and mixes them with new lines?

  • instant relief

    Yeah, but the tone was all wrong.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “No Star Wars tonight dear, I have a headache.”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Wolf Creek: the Special Edition.

  • instant relief

    I knew you were into some kinky shit, but… this makes you worse than a German!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    OK breaking my own Star Wars Ban.
    PALPY IS AT IT AGAIN!!!!!

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/emperor-palpatine-victorious-ukraine-city-835156

    Mayor Palpatine.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    https://youtu.be/qtRyUZYIvPM

    Shut up and close your borders.

  • instant relief

    Wipe that dirty Sanchéz off your face!

  • Niccageshair

    So then rose is a rose is a rose is rose?

  • instant relief

    I don’t like sand
    It is coarse and it is rough I
    have sand in my vagina

  • Niccageshair

    Let us not forget the greatest poet of all: The man from Nantucket.

  • Niccageshair

    Since they are basically being annexed by Russia, I think another emperor is the last thing they need.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    yes. next question!

  • Marvin Falz

    A rhyme is part of a line. So the throne room is a throne room but since the line is changed and mixed with new lines, the throne rooms in Jedi and Sith are in different contexts.

  • Niccageshair

    Well then Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

  • Marvin Falz

    Awesome. Let’s make this a movie and collect a trillion billion gazillion dollars!

  • Niccageshair

    It will be like the bastard child of Gertrude Stein and the Mister Ed theme song.

  • Marvin Falz

    The idea of the throne room is the same but the ideas surrounding this idea are different.

  • Palpatine

    What is it with Ukraine and Star Wars characters?

  • Marvin Falz

    Hmm. I don’t want that. Forget the money.

  • Niccageshair

    They have to do something to fill the time left by communism.

  • Mike Magnum

    Even tho this is probably a great commentary. I have to stand by my principles to never buy the Original Trilogy as long as Jedi Rocks is still in Return of the Jedi. What the hell was Lucas Smoking when he thought that was a good idea.

  • Palpatine

    He was smoking whatever was in Jabba’s hookah.

  • tOmy`

    The answer is in the box.

    It always is in the box.

  • tOmy`
  • tOmy`

    Speaking of Jedi Rocks, I really hope this article about the song is correct:

    “Jedi Rocks” was a jizz song performed by Evar Orbus and His Galactic Jizz-Wailers and later the Max Rebo Band.”

    http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jedi_Rocks

    Oh, also, the guy who wrote it has 5 Grammys.

  • tOmy`

    “Jizz was an upbeat, swinging genre of music, most notably performed by Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes and the Max Rebo Band. Subgenres of jizz included the styles of jizz-wail, aubade, and glitz. Also, jatz was slightly similar to jizz.”

    And they are playing something called “jizz-box”.

  • Palpatine

    The description of it speaks for itself.

  • TapewormBike

    Tales from Mos Eisley Cantina is a pretty good collection of weirdly dark SW short stories, one of them is about the jizz players.

  • Palpatine

    So who here actually likes the Star Wars Expanded Universe?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Tomy does. Personally I only tolerate a few video games such as KOTOR or Jedi Knight series.

  • Palpatine

    You going to get the new Battlefront game?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Nah. I loved the original games and this one doesn’t look nowhere near on par with them. Plus the game is hella expensive and I sure as hell won’t support devs like Dice and publishers like EA. That’s like seeing a Micheal Bay film in theatre.

  • Palpatine

    The second one was one of my favorite games growing up. I especially loved the stage where you could play as heroes and villains in Mos Eisley. Good times.

  • tOmy`

    I am not sure I like the whole EU, I personally like the games, Thrawn Trilogy, Rogue Squadron and them Bounty Hunting things – and that’s sorta about it.

    Except for that, I have no clue who / what / when. Also fair to say: Except Thrawn, I have never considered anything else “canon” or really give two craps about how it affects the Universe,

  • tOmy`

    The only reason I am even considering paying attention to that game is the possibility of pro-matches.

  • tOmy`

    Since they don’t play rock, it should be renamed to “Jedi Jizz”.

    Oh, the possibilities…

  • Quantum

    Nice “Kruegerish” sweater, Jay 😉

  • Paulus Nuns

    The Emperor is tempting Luke with pure hate, “come on boy, I’m helpless, kill me!”. Filled with this hate, Luke attacks and Vader parries, but the Emperor smiles: Luke is on his way to the dark side. At the end of the fight with Vader, he’s swinging his saber like there’s no tomorrow and his face looks crazy. Ironically, had they fought alone, Luke would’ve killed Vader. It’s the emperor with his hate speech that stops Luke from doing it.

    The implication here is that once you go to the dark side, there’s no salvation for you, your hands are already stained with blood. Let’s say Luke kills Vader and/or the emperor, it’s not like he’s automatically evil, but he’d feel very upset about it, and non worthy of a jedi status, in time he’g grow nasty and hateful.

    The emperor is a nasty son of a bitch, it seems to me he didn’t mind to “lose/die” as long as Luke, his Nemesis, loses too.

  • Strong_Bow

    Yes. Yes it is.

  • Amontillado

    Oh my!

  • tOmy`

    It’s like poetry, their t-shirts reflect the movies they made commentaries for.

    It is really subtle, you might not notice it, but your booze did.

  • Toy Story 3?

  • Marvin Falz

    I’ve read two EU novels. One whose story takes place between AotC and RotS and tells of adventures of Obi-Wan and Anakin and another whose story takes place after Anakin got built in his suit. Both are pretty forgettable, though not badly written. I wouldn’t recommend them either, since I wanted to have some insights in the characters, especially in Vader’s difficulties to get used to his new suit and lifestyle and didn’t get what I expected.

  • Marvin Falz

    Now I want them to make commentaries for My Little Pony and Care Bear movies. Just to see the reflections in their t-shirt and sweater choices.

  • tOmy`

    Good news, everyone! Oasis won’t perform at Glastonbury because “they don’t pay enough”.

    ♫ Because maybeeeeee, you ain’t gonna be the one that pays meeeeeee, so blame it aaaaaaall, on the market downfaaaaaaaall ♫

  • TapewormBike

    That’s almost greedy enough to be edgy.

  • tOmy`

    Well, they already fill the “twat” quota to be edgy.

  • TapewormBike

    Not much, but I have read only few things. I am pretty curious about the new comics stuff, purely on who they have writing it though.

  • TapewormBike

    Are you telling me you’re that good at FPSs?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Lucas: We are gonna call this music genre “jizz”. The name sounds like “jazz”, but the music is actually closer to pop-rock. It’s like ironic, hopefully it’ll work.

    Lucasfilm employee 1: But, sir… “Jizz”?! Don’t you know that…?

    Lucasfilm employee 2 (whispers to employee 1’s ear): whatever, man. Do as he says.

    Lucasfilm employee 1: Great idea, sir!

    Lucas: Oh, and we will call the song “Jedi Rocks”.

    Lucasfilm employee 1: Another fine idea, sir!

  • bassbait

    nah. Toy Story 1 was better. And Toy Story 2 was honestly kinda better too.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I pray there isn’t and never will be such a thing as “jizzstep”.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jessi has returned to her home planet.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I accept the EU in video games.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I am when I have more money or when it gets cheaper

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I just notice Dexter Jetser thing has a mustache…

  • RLMkeepitup

    does it have any white powder on it

  • tOmy`

    Oh, I didn’t mean playing the game. I just think pro-matches would be really fun to watch.

    This shit is way too chaotic for me.

  • Palpatine

    I really want to read the Thrawn Trilogy.

  • Marvin Falz

    Let me guess, Oasis play songs against capitalism and markets, but don’t mind cashing in.

  • hybridm0ments

    I always took it as the Emperor was in control. He represents order and the evil that comes from too much power. That’s why he could corrupt Vader. Vader wanted order and safety. He didn’t want change. The emperor wanted Luke as his new and stronger puppet, or he didn’t want him at all. If he wasn’t running the show it didn’t matter and he would have Vader kill him.

    Luke doesn’t really want Order. he just wants his family back and the Jedi to rise from the ashes. Luke would probably be happy living back on a farm for the rest of his life after this was done, but he has a duty to help.

    I never got that scene. he doesn’t look like he’s really swinging at the Emperor, more of a renewed duel with Vader.

    I think ultimately the Emperor was playing a game and lost control of it.

  • Teens will “get it” and that means $$$$$$$$!

    #stupidteens

  • Marvin Falz

    Speaking of Return of the Jedi, have you seen The Muppets?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODkdByeH37A

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Palpatine is behind Putin. He is trying to destabilise the EU and take control of the senate in Brussels…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Chewi got arrested for breaking Electoral Rules. YOU ARE BEHIND IT ALL!

  • “The character is so dense everyone will want a Dexter Jetster mustache and that means $$$$$$$$”

    -Jorge

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXZsQWPyGPI

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Like I even had to guess, you’re a Blur man.

    https://youtu.be/gpuh1WE-RVw

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dexter was Jorge doing a Hitchcock Cameo.

  • Can’t wait to play Battlefront as Dexter JetTser!! So much Star Wars I just want to gouge out…

    #KILLME

  • *Jorge is a crack addict

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Only KotoR and Trawn. as stories.
    I like most of the games, but I dont think of them as even close to canon.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its worth it. its the only EU product that most people agree on. and if there was a vote by fans it would be the plot for the new trilogy.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    when I buy a new computer.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Mos Eisley was great, I used to live on the roof tops throwing grenades into the alleys.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    One thing thatsa alwaysa bothers mesa.
    Why are you clearly morphologically dissimilar to other gungans.
    Did you have snout reduction surgery?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That map had the original Jabba’s Palace song.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Ukraine just made it their national anthem.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    So Ukraine is star wars crazys… that explains why we have no regular Ukrainian commenters… that and they’re probably distracted by the war with Russia…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes, it is very nicely pronounced on my Dexter Jettster action figure.

  • bassbait

    Oasis are shitty. I never noticed until I listened to “Wonderwall” with just the vocals playing. The song sounds like a drunk karaoke version of itself.

  • Palpatine

    There was also another stage where it was Battle Droids vs Gungans.

  • bassbait

    don’t forget the “Peel Rod”

  • Palpatine

    You really want more Eurotrash European’s on here?

  • Palpatine

    I want to play as you.

  • TapewormBike

    You probably should see a doctor about that.

  • TapewormBike

    Fuck off:)

  • Palpatine

    Sorry, I shouldn’t judge. After all, I am of Italian descent.

  • Palpatine

    Don’t you also have a Gragra action figure?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I did. They prescribed me Gragra.

    http://www.rebelscum.com/toys2006/TSC52gragra2.jpg

  • WrongWithYourFace

    See below.

    Not my picture.

  • Paulus Nuns

    To be honest you’re right, Europe is fucked.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah, what we really need is more Australians and people from Jersey.

  • TapewormBike

    (To put a pizza joke in later)

  • Palpatine

    Why do some Star Wars fans hate the scenes in Jabba’s Palace? Personally, I think those scenes are great.

  • Palpatine

    My IRL name is Nick Romantini. Doesn’t get more Italian than that, does it?

  • Paulus Nuns

    I didn’t know much about Australia, until I found this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjyyoAeHPzU

    This abo thing is pretty funny, but I guess in reality it’s a serious matter.

  • tOmy`

    Not to crush your hopes and dreams for tonight, but seems like Manhole has been down for few hours now (and that goes for whole Cytube network).

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • TapewormBike

    I know, from your script. I think that’s a pretty sweet name tbh.

  • Palpatine

    Wah wah wah.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It seems to work for me.

  • tOmy`

    Okay, so I am just crushing my personal hopes and dreams.

    Anyway, I’ll try to fix it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You sound like a bond villain… but you look like bill gates with that hair cut. go to a good barber, buy a nice suit and you could get any woman you want.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    That is a BAD WORD! you bassically just said nigger.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    meh.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Ha ha I’m sorry, didn’t know it was that harsh of a word. Anyway, you also said nigger now.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats OK i’m part Abo…

  • instant relief

    You’re pretty white for a n… agger.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I have a confession to make: I probably have enough Star Wars toys in a plastic bin to pour them over myself and scream “I fucking love Star Wars!”

  • I maybe not force sensitive but I am food sensitive. Great for survival games.

  • instant relief

    I’d watch that for a dollar!

  • I’m so fat it’s plays tricks with you eyes,

  • Amontillado

    Just dream about having an orgy with the Commentariot and that should perk you right up.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    But… your teeth? why do you have a almost human jaw line? WHAT THE FUCK WAS GEORGE SMOKING@!

  • Death sticks?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats not the part i was talking about…..

  • Palpatine

    Who do you got?

  • Amontillado

    Given that Reagan had an idear about a missile defense system called, “STAR WARS,” during the Cold War; how could Ukraine NOT be crazy about the movies? Hell, they probably consider it a historical drama or an art house piece commentary on Russian-US foreign relations during the 80’s, much like Rocky 4.

  • Marvin Falz

    Palpatino

  • Palpatine

    Darth Vader tried running for President of Ukraine, but was beaten by their version of Willy Wonka.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dude… now I feel like a dickhole. sorry man.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Do it!

  • tOmy`

    Okay, crisis averted.

  • instant relief

    Shia, is that you?

  • instant relief

    Oh, your 20 inch negro penis?

  • Amontillado
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    He stole his whole look and persona from me. thats why I shaved my whole head and decided to be nice.
    Lets see him copy that!

  • instant relief

    You stole that from me! I’ve been shaving my head for the last 5 years.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its only 19cm. I have told you a million times! Dont exaggerate.

  • It’s ok. ♫ Rest easy under my chin ♫

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    First time i shaved my head was in 1989.
    There was a slight mix up, I asked for a 0.2(2mm) rather than a Number 2(2cm)

  • instant relief

    Well, it sure felt a lot longer! <3

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Hey is that half a roast chicken under there?

  • tOmy`

    Italian living in NJ?

    How original.

  • instant relief

    Damn, you win then! 😛

  • Palpatine

    You shaved your head? Is the 666 birthmark now visible?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    If its any consolation the barber ran the clippers up the middle of my head, no test bit first.
    I cried and he said… “Cant stop now…”
    Just like that priest……

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah, so I’ve got a hat on.
    nothing else…..

    https://youtu.be/jOotsq4soug

  • Quantum

    Oh, boy, did it ever… 😀

  • Quantum

    I agree with Doctor Andre

    do it -> film it -> become a internet god

  • instant relief

    You got shaved by a priest?

  • instant relief

    He could become even more powerful than Rich Evans!

  • Quantum

    Let’s not get ahead of ourselves… 🙂

  • Like Icare

    I did something similar in the army.

    Looked like goddamn Kuririn photo-negative for a while, dressed in green camo pattern and wearing my sleeves shortened up.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuririn

  • tOmy`

    Aight, don’t forget, KIKI starts in one hour, this time kicking off with some Star Wars because Star Wars.

    Nerds.

    See you at the [redacted for the obvious use of the word Manhole].

  • Like Icare

    Do it… And film it… Jodo-style.

    With toys poring out of two Jar Jar shaped tits on a Vader-suit-wearing individual.
    http://img105.imageshack.us/img105/9434/holy3vz8.jpg

    Might need to do some creative editing for that effect.

  • Like Icare

    Art motherfuckers! It’s all about it. Clearly.

  • instant relief

    I’d support your kickstarter campaign!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You, for instance. The hood looks horrible because they tried to make it have a shadow fall over your face, so it goes way too far over the head. I also have have a Mace Windu with a swinging action that makes him look like he has a broken arm, complete with an extremely painful expression. In reality, I think he’s supposed to cut off Jango’s magnetically attached head.

  • TapewormBike

    Whatsa yor problem, hah?!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No but I have had my feet washed…. its a Chathoholic thing.

  • instant relief

    I had a priest put something edible on my tongue.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So I just started playing The Old Republic and I attempted to make my character look like me but stubble isn’t an option in the character creator. So I chose a beard instead and my character ended up looking like Jay. I named him Bauman.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Correction: it’s actually “STAR WARS!” #GetYourFactsStraight

  • Like Icare

    Bau Wan Kenobi. Of the Kenobi family of nerf herders.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I do own a nerf herder coat in the game.

  • Two of my favourite fetishes. Lactating and old men. What?

  • Like Icare

    There you go! It’s kismet! Or kiss meth. One of those things.

  • A Jimmy hat or a regular hat?

  • You as food? I’m sure the French would love it.

    #getit

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    “Probably”. We know you’ve already done this half a dozen times!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have a lizard on my head.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Awesome decapitation action the whole family will appreciate.

  • RLMkeepitup

    did it go too far in a few places

  • Like Icare

    I had priests waking me up by playing their prayer tapes at early hours of the morning, way too loud and way to close to my windows.

    These people have no idea how close they are coming to being burned alive every time they do that.
    The person they wake in me is a dangerous lunatic with very few inhibitions, still working on dream logic where anything goes and angry at just about everything for being woken up too early and not able to go back to sleep.

    One night I’ll fall asleep more stressed out than usual and forget my earplugs and… well… won’t even remember it happened.

  • TapewormBike

    Half a dozen, that’s sex times, right?

  • Is this why you like to be nude?

  • Marvin Falz

    I can so relate to what you’re saying. Being woken up too early and by loud noises sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks.

  • instant relief

    Never!

  • Palpatino’s Pizza rolls! http://i.imgur.com/tyng5n8.png

  • Marvin Falz

    That’s awesome!

  • RLMkeepitup

    perhaps where no man has gone before but not the final frontier ..

  • instant relief

    He quite likes the chocolate.

  • instant relief

    Screenshot?

  • Did you know Donald Trump had a boardgame? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2JBUCpQR9A

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Maybe it’s the non-SWfan in me speaking, but I thought this https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=232&v=viDu9SLvF_E was a fine representation of non-medy.

  • Marvin Falz

    If this boardgame is good, Rich and Jack could play it live on PreRec.

  • Who are these… people?

  • tOmy`

    Yea, how about some NIN action, you Poolander?

  • Gotta read some Nietzsche, so I have to say “see ya, Bietzches!”

  • Niccageshair

    There is no merchandising opportunity Trump hasn’t tried.

  • Didn’t you see? Donald Trump, Mad Max, Rita the Riveter and uuh.. Box Man. Donald Trump and Mad Max were the people behind the Chad Vader series. Donald Trump also was the voice of Darth Vader in a few Star Wars games.

  • tOmy`

    No, all you had to say is: “God is dead” and join us.

    I know that line from a game.

  • I meant mentally.

  • Well, they’re not frauds.

  • bassbait

    Those scenes are great, for obvious, sexy reasons…

    https://i.warosu.org/data/biz/img/0007/70/1433001669066.png

  • Marvin Falz

    Red Letter Media – deconstructing Star Wars publicly since 2009.

    That’s all I got for this evening. Good night. Or day.

  • instant relief

    Some people just wanna watch the world burn. Sleep well.

  • Snake Squeezer

    HAHAHA! Okay, that was funny.

  • Mike Magnum

    As for the Whole Palpatine/Ukraine Thing. I think Palpatine is the perfect politician for any country. I mean most politicians are old flabby men who are hopelessly out of touch with reality and really don’t give a rats ass about the people who elected them.

  • tOmy`
  • Niccageshair

    I had been wondering what Fatboy Slim had been up to.

  • Robotpals

    Oh no, I noticed those windows. They distracted, which is the mildest thing one can say about any change.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Did you also know Trump is stupid?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Palpatine is also the perfect Pope too.

  • tOmy`

    Not enough pixels.

  • Speaking of Halloween… I find it scary that the only parties that got elected in this year’s election in Poland are right wing with lots of hardcore nationalists and possibly some ex(?) neo-nazis taking seat. It’s gonna be great!

  • Palpatine

    He sure is!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Did he experiment on an elf during World War 2 to make a master race?

  • Ogrot

    IS THAT ELF YOUR’S?

  • R U crazy? It’s bad really really bad. And it’s going to end bad, really really bad…

    https://youtu.be/pdb69nxmLo8?t=12s

  • Palpatine

    He was a Neo-Nazi during WWII, remember?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Doctor, tell me what is the bottom line?

  • Palpatine

    You think you can do a better job you fat frog?

  • Palpatine

    I’m not a pervert, I like looking at naked girls.

  • Niccageshair

    Nothing bad has ever happened when Europe swings hard to the right.

  • I’m green like Yoda… does that count?

  • Palpatine

    I’m kind of jealous that you European’s have parliament’s with more than two parties elected to them.

  • It’s bad, but as long as the moderates will hold it’s usually cool. But we got the Ukraine war and the a troubled Balkan that could “successfully” end democracies.

  • tOmy`

    We rawk.

  • Palpatine

    At least you guys only got two or three countries where shit’s going down. The Middle East and Africa are basically the worlds firing range.

  • tOmy`

    Thanfully, we are currently building a fence on the Polish border.

    Aren’t we? Hello?

    We ain’t?! STILL?!

  • Palpatine

    “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this fence!”

  • It’s a blessing and a curse. For a person who lives in a country with only two major parties it may look like we have lots of choice but there isn’t any, really. In my case the situation is like this: there are lots of right-wing parties that try to differentiate themselves from each other by only by some kind of brand recognition.

    They have more or less the same views on economy and social issues (varying degrees of conservatism). From a pragmatic point of view, it definitely is harder to actually pass laws if you don’t’ form a coalition as getting the majority in parliament is a very rare situation (that happened for the first time in the history of post-communist Poland). Maintaining a coalition requires lots of backdoor talks, under the table agreements – things that happen within inner party talks in the US, I imagine, but those things can’t really affect a government’s ability to vote (unless a voting needs more than 2/3 of votes to, say, pass the budget). Not to mention there’s lots of bickering and showboating on TV even if there is no real difference between the parties, just pointless spectacle.

    The past 12 years certainly felt like living in a bi-partisan system. The two leading parties are both from the conservative right-wing. They do have inner factions – some of which are more liberal some, aren’t but they’re mostly the same. The one that gave up power after 8 years of rule built its identity on calling itself the more liberal and ‘enlightened one’ but in truth it was just as conservative as the other one. They had no will to change strict anti-abortion laws, to allow gay marriage and loosen strict anti-drug policies, even if some of that was actually in their election programme. The only liberal thing about them was the approach to economy and even that was only a temporary thing, since it cost them votes.

    They only passed some liberal social laws near the end of their term in hopes to garner votes of the less conservative voters as they already knew were really going to need them. They also knew that the left is in shambles so they capitalized on that.

    My point is – parties care about votes, not so much about making and enforcing good law. I’m sure this is the same in the US but at least they KNOW they can get into parliament even if they get a staggeringly low number of votes which at least encourages some degree of non-cynical rule and not looking at the pre-election polls.

  • “I start to see things I recognize”. Classic. It should be on the inevitable ‘accolades’ trailer.

  • Palpatine
  • Curious. Do people wan’t this?

  • Palpatine

    After Doc of the Dead, I’d say yes.

  • tOmy`

    Is that Nietzsche or Trent Reznor?

    I DIDNT THINK SO!

  • With lots of fascists arriving from the east and from within. Should be good times in Eurabia.

  • I think it might be to early. The new SWreboot is not out yet.

  • Good times.

  • Mike Magnum

    I Wonder what Cameron would think of Space Cop the Musical.

  • tOmy`

    Another successful KIKI! We are so awesome I am speechless. Halloween edition should happen this Sunday.

    Thanks to all!

  • tOmy`

    I am okay with that, although I am not sure what will be the exact… aim of it. TFA ain’t even out yet, so there is not enough to discuss in terms of “legacy” now.

  • Fuck that noize. A new BOTW is out.

  • The new BotW is out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA5f86pD7o4
    Gonna watch it tomorrow myself. You have fun now.

  • Red Skeleton

    And now, a little treat for you all: A scene from RLM’s new thriller/horror movie, coming to a theater near you this Halloween January!

    *Jessi wanders into the Red Letter Media studio, not having seen Mike for days. Mike explosively sent Jessi away previously, demanding time alone to work on his project. She looks around the deserted studio for any sign of Mike, then spots an empty table with a single DVD on it. The box is completely blank and the DVD is a generic store-bought DVD-R, also blank except for the title written in black marker:*

    “Space Cop”

    *Looking nervous, Jessi glances around for Mike, then takes the DVD to a nearby editing station. She puts it in and discovers the disc is full, completely taken up by one file:*

    “SpaceCopCompleted.avi”

    *Jessi, looking unsettled by the eerie silence of the studio, clicks Play on the file. A clip of Rich Evans appears, dressed in his Plinkett outfit and holding a portrait of a black kid.

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    *Jessi looks unnerved, and then the clip plays again.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    *Jessi looks more creeped out, as the clip plays once more.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    *Jessi looks at the monitor to see what’s wrong with the DVD, and then discovers that the clip isn’t skipping, the film has been EDITED like this. Jessi cries in anguish as she starts clicking around randomly on the timebar.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    *She cries out in horror, desperate for some evidence of Mike’s sanity to emerge from the movie, but all she gets is the same clip, over and over.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    Rich Evans: My Jesus looks like a sexy little black girl. *licks lips.*

    *Suddenly, Mike silently enters the studio and approaches Jessi from behind.*

    Mike: How do you like it?

    Jessi: *Yelps in terror, grabs a nearby stack of VHS tapes in a vain bid for protection. Jessi backs away fearfully from Mike.*

    Mike: What are you doing down here?

    Jessi: *sobbing* I just… wanted… to talk to you.

    Mike: Okay, Let’s talk. What do you want to talk about?

    Jessi: I can’t really remember.

    Mike: You can’t remember… Maybe it was about… Rich Evans? Maybe it was about him. I think we should discuss Rich Evans. I think we should discuss what should be done with him. What should be done with him?

    Jessi: I don’t know.

    Mike: I don’t think that’s true. I think you have some very definite ideas about what should be done with Rich Evans and I’d like to know what they are.

    Jessi: Well, I think… maybe… we should take him to Showbiz Pizza.

    Mike: You think “maybe” he should be taken to Showbiz Pizza?

    Jessi: Yes.

    Mike: WHEN do you think MAYBE he should be taken to Showbiz Pizza?

    Jessi: As soon as possible.

    Mike: *Mocking her* “As soon as possible”!

    Jessi: Mike! What are… you…

    Mike: You think he hasn’t been laughing as much lately?

    Jessi: Y-Yes!

    Mike: You are concerned about him.

    Jessi: Yes!

    Mike: And are you concerned about *me?*

    Jessi: Of course I am!

    Mike: Of course you are! Have you ever thought about my responsibilities?

    *The conversation continues as Jessi begins backing up the stairs*

    Jessi: Oh Mike, what are you talking about?

    Mike: Have you ever had a SINGLE MOMENT’S THOUGHT about my responsibilities?

    *As Mike talks his voice begins to shift into Plinkett’s voice, no less deranged.*

    Mike Have you ever thought, for a single solitary moment about my responsibilities to…. My webzone. Has it ever occurred to you that I have agreed to get my next Plinkett review out by TUESDAY? Does it MATTER TO YOU AT ALL that the COMMENTATORS and PATREON DONORS have placed their COMPLETE CONFIDENCE and TRUST in me, and that I have signed a letter of agreement, a CONTRACT, in which I have accepted that RESPONSIBILITY. Do you have the SLIGHTEST IDEA where my PIZZA ROLLS are? DO YOU?!

    Jessi: *Lobs a VHS tape at his head and misses* Stay away from me!

    Mike: Why?

    Jessi: *Continues lobbing tapes and missing* I just wanna go back to my room!

    Mike: Why?

    Jessi: Well, I’m very confused, and I just need time to think things over!

    Mike: You’ve had your whole FUCKING LIFE to think things over, what good’s a few minutes more gonna do you now?

    Jessi: Please! Don’t hurt me!

    Mike: I’m not gonna hurt you.

    Jessi: Stay away from me!

    Mike: Jessi? Darling? Light, of my life. I’m not gonna hurt ya. You didn’t let me finish my sentence. I said, I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just going to take you down to my basement!

    *Jessi gasps*

    Mike: *laughs maniacally* TiMe To Go In ThE ReFrIdGeRaToR!

    Jessi: Stay away from me! *Lobs last VHS tape*

    *Mike gets hit square in the forehead with The Star Wars Holiday Special VHS*

    Mike: OW! *Falls down stairs unconscious.*

    Jessi: *Breaks down crying, completely overcome with despair.

    Mike: *mumbles in his sleep* Fuck movies! ….

    *Scene ends*

    Disclaimer, what you just read was a parody and is not to be taken seriously. Mike would probably not treat anyone as badly as previously described, and Space Cop will probably not be as awesome as previously described.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Vapid reply.

  • Percy Gryce

    “Hey, buddy, you forgot your change.”
    “Makes the world go round.”
    “What’s that?”
    “Gold.”
    “Some people say, ‘love.'”
    “Eh, they’re right too. It is love–love of gold.”

  • instant relief

    Racial slur.

  • Elsie McLeod

    There are many types of work on internet. Some are very good with that you may make a good deal of cash , easily just giving some time sticking with your pc …But the main problem is we don’t know where to find such kind of jobs in a bulk of scams . You may look here , with little effort you may easily reach $8-9k a week and its totally free .I am doing this and advise you to look in here for sure …
    http://www.randstadusa.ml

    llz

  • Now I Get It

    “You really are the brass ring.”

    (Which kinda tips the ending for Joe and Fran, wouldn’t you say?)

  • Now I Get It

    Love that. And with a touch of Morricone.

    youtube.com/watch?v=lYUvw4rgkIY

  • Percy Gryce

    That part of the ending has always bugged me. I guess I don’t buy that she would have been turned like that. Watching it again recently I think she may have been playing Jimmy in order to let Joe get away with the gold.

  • Now I Get It

    Yeah, me too, especially after the final twist in HoG wherein Margaret reunites with her mentor IRL after killing Mike.

    On the other hand, Joe’s smile as he drives off is so savoury, as if once he got the gold he no longer needed that brass ring to prove he wasn’t too old. …Like the final final twist in HoG wherein Margaret steals the lighter then smiles, leaving her old life (and mentor) behind.

    The lion in winter, the lioness in spring.

  • Percy Gryce

    You’re probably right. Mamet is not sentimental.

  • Now I Get It

    Tru dat. Kevin Pollak’s Chat Show hosts a few tough Mamet anecdotes during Ed O’Neill’s interview (cf. YouTube). He’s the one who started Mamet at the Dojo doing what they call “ground fighting,” but he starts off talking about “Lakeboat”. (In a quirk typical of KPCS, O’Neill doesn’t appear till ~20 minutes in.)

  • My ex wife

    Plinkett reference.

  • My ex wife

    I’m starting to believe that all videos about Star Wars will have at least 1 comment referencing Plinkett under it.

  • My ex wife

    It’s Kermit.

  • jimmy

    With regards to the guy wearing the stormtrooper biker armor and no helmet – if you look closely you see he’s the same “grandpa” rebel that captures the lone trooper that was guarding the backdoor entrance to the shield generator station. (The guy that Han lures away by tapping him on his shoulder from behind). The guy likely put the armor on to disguise himself, for some reason.

  • Sexual innuendo.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Do you belong to Mathnet??

  • TapewormBike

    I am a bit of a Jaynius.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    If only Omitted were here to turn that into a dirty joke…

  • TapewormBike

    I was out and he was sad in Exiled. It’s killing me that he probably went to sleep in a bad mood.

  • Like Icare

    Could be! He and Yoda are relatives. Sorta.
    http://flashbak.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/11muppstars.jpg

  • Good Morning Guard? Gamorian Guard? WTF is Jay talking about?

  • Jennifer Crawford

    I have earned 72,000 dollars so far this year working with my computer and I am a full time student . I am using an online work opportunity I heard about and I have made such great cash . It is really very friendly to all its users and I am just so happy that I found out about it …………

    http://www.randstadusa.ml
    qll

  • IRONMANAustralia

    I actually like Return of the Jedi over Empire Strikes Back – the latter always feels like half a movie to me because it doesn’t really reach a satisfying conclusion like the other two. So it’s part one to RotJ’s part two – the same way that Back To The Future Part Two isn’t a stand alone movie because of the shit it sets up and the non-ending, which are resolved in the final movie.

    I actually love the switching between three locations at the end. I thought that was genius and very well done from the first time I saw it. Four in Phantom Menace were clearly ridiculous – but to be fair every single one of them sucked on its own as well so who knows if it could have worked – probably not though.

    I also loved the fact that the Emperor builds a new Death Star. He’s got the plans for the ultimate death machine and after one failure that’s easily corrected he’s going to just give up on it and come up with something totally different? What is he Wlie E. Coyote? You expect him to go back to the drawing board and try to destroy the Rebellion and dominate the galaxy with another elaborate scheme involving Acme rocket skates or something? I liked the fact he builds another Death Star because that’s actually realistic and not what you expect from movie villains.

    Not to mention the half-constructed Death Star looked awesome, the Emperor’s ruse0 about it not being operational was brilliant, and flying through the structure and blowing the central reactor up close and personal kicked arse and looked fantastic.

    I initially didn’t like the Ewoks much, but they grew on me to the point I don’t really mind them at all now.

    I naturally have some issues with the film, like their rescue plan from Jabba’s palace. Can you imagine if all that was part of their plan and Luke is laying it out, ” … Okay, so then Leia is going to free Han from the carbonite and probably get captured. Then Jabba will turn her into his personal plaything, probably tongue-rape her and put her in a metal bikini. At this point I could get R2 to give me my lightsabre so I could just start killing everybody and prevent that, but I think it will be better if she just goes along with it until the next day when Jabba tries to execute us by throwing us all in the Sarlacc pit. Then we strike … ”

    That would be the best sounding plan since the Death Star escape in a New Hope. Just imagine what the Emperor had to tell the Stormtroopers.

    “We have put a tracking device on their ship. We will follow them to their rebel base and destroy them. So allow them to escape, but don’t make it look like you’re letting them escape.”

    “Uh … how do we do that my Lord?”

    “Well … you know … shoot at them, but miss a lot. Whenever they obviously escape down some chute, pretend you can’t find them. You know give them an hour or two head start. And if you get into a firefight where they’re shooting back just let them kill you. That kind of thing.”

    “Yes my Lord … hey wait, what?!”

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Good to hear he still pops in now and then. I knew that glamorous & dignified diva exit couldn’t last!

  • TapewormBike

    Oh, you have no idea what kinda stuff he shares.

  • Arthur Wesley

    Return of the Jedi Poster with Mike, Jay and Rich http://s9.postimg.org/6isdca32n/Return_of_the_jedi_old.jpg

  • Now I Get It

    *glamofied & dignirous

    (try my new spellchekc app)

  • Now I Get It

    Fred Thompson, RIP

  • like Phillip answered I cannot believe that you can make $9890 in 4 weeks on the computer.try this website on `my` `prof1le`

    +e

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Niw O Git Et! Seladu.

  • Now I Get It

    Who disturrrbs my slumberrrr?
    Oh, hey, lise. Didn’t see you there.
    Nice pull on Seladu.
    —–
    *Soladu

    (seriously, for 1000% return, you can get my app out of beta, and my family out of Nigeria)

  • `I’m` finally` getting 94`Dollars“` an hr,….It’s time to take some action` and you can join it too.It is easy way to get rich`.Three weeks from now you will wish you have started today….

    +++++++++++++>>> Vis!t My Pr0f1le:)“`

    +2222222

  • Marvin Falz

    Palpatine developing his masterplan to destroy the rebellion and get Luke to join the dark side:
    “We’ll build a second Death Star, bigger and much more powerful than the first one. Since the last time the Death Star was blown up by torpedoes which flew through a narrow shaft right into the main poer reactor, this time we build an entry big enough so that at least ships the size of starfighters may fly into a tunnel which leads to the main power reactor. This time the rebels will have to overcome more and bigger obstacles, before they blow up the Death Star.”

    It would have been so much safer for the Emperor and humiliating for the rebels when the shield generator on Endor would have only been an illusion of a shield and didn’t really protect the Death Star because the entry to the power generator was an illusion too. The rebels enter the shield generator and find it to be empty. Their plans now being spoiled, the rebels first have to reorientate and adapt to the new situation to find an alternative way to at least collect Luke from the Death Star and get the fleet out of the danger zone.

    More suspense for the audience.

  • May` I tell you something` really` interesting` that is `worth` paying` `attention`. An `effective` and `excellent` online` `opportunity` to work` for those people` who want to `utilise` their free time so that they can `Earn some `extra `Money` using their `computers`… I have been `working` on this for last two and half years and I am earning` 60-90 `dollar`/ hour` … In the `Past` `Week` I` Have `Earned` 13,70 `DoLLars` For `Almost `20` hours` `Sitting` ….

    `Any` Special“kind` of `Skills, `Degree` or Specific qualification is not `required` for this, just `typing` and a `good` `working` and `reliable` `internet` `connection` ….

    `Any` `Time` `Boundations` to `Start work` is not `Required` … You may do this `work` at any `time` when you `Willing` to do it ….

    I have Been Working on this and Getting Results…..….Hope over to“website“ `page` `LINK` which is on Prrof!le of mine

    sderdsrfrt

  • I `Started` `WoRking` `from` `COmfort` `OF` My` `HOMe`, By` `Working` `SOmE` very` `Basic` `jObs` That `Only `rEquired` A` `Pc` &` `Internet` `Access` `&` It’s the `Best `Job` I `EVer` `HAd… It’s Been `six` `months` since I` started `This` and i got `Paid` so far in total 36 `Thousand` `Dollars`… Basically I` `profit` `80` `dollars`/hour` And work` for` 3 to 4 h` on daily basis.And the best part about this `Job` is that You get` to `Choose` Yourself when To `Work` and for how long and you Get` a `Paycheck` `weekly.Hope over to“website“ `page` `LINK` Which Is On `Prrof!le` of mine

    ^dddddddddd

  • When I saw the draft which was of
    7159 dollars, I accept that my friend’s brother was like really generating cash
    in his spare time with his computer. . His aunts neighbor has done this for
    only 10 months and by now repaid the loan on their home and bought a new Car
    .This is what they are donig …

    >>>>> Visit my ƤŘỖƑĮĹẸ for
    the site address

    &rtxcvxcvxc

  • Spoiled Ants

    Is Running Man in your long list for commentary tracks?

  • Nintendo until COD Hell

    Cinema Sins commented on Star Wars: A New Hope (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6sdpH5N1c0) Can you guys please do a Mr. Plinkett commentary on the video?

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    you guys really need to re-evaluate Empire Strikes Back. http://www.simplysyndicated.com/why-empire-strikes-back-sucks-gundark-poodoo/

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think even space gub’ment builds two of everything they order otherwise its an inexcusable mistake should one get blow’d up. Also, destroying planets in their entirety on their own see like the perfect fuel for rebellion, risky chances. I also am on the side of the Empire when it comes to their Jedi problem, But then I always play monday morning Parrises Square.

Back to Top