Top 1 Things WE Didn’t Know About Suicide Squad

August 9, 2016469 Comments

Jay and Mike need to stop looking at their cell phones during the movies they review! Those idiots! I’ve lost all respect for them forever. Unsubscribed!

Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • kuhpunkt

    Nobody cares who’s first.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Fröst!

  • Marius

    Click bait?!?! F…ing hack frauds..

  • david blane

    RICHARD EVANS

  • TheZaius

    Was Rich in Suicide Squad?

  • ChimChamChum

    I’m so glad the guys addressed this. I watched their review before I went and saw it in the theater. When the guard handed Harley the cellphone I just became unglued. I stood up and threw my popcorn at the stupid lady in front of me that brought her 9 kids ages 1-5 and started shouting “FUCKING MIKE AND JAY GOT IT WRONG! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS WRONG WITH THOSE FUCKING FUCKS!!!!! FUCK!”

  • Sebastian

    Woah. How did you get Paul Blart Mall Cop to guest-star in this?

  • Ultragonk

    Not one mention that this “Suicide Squad” is a direct copy of my never made film Hairbrained Heather and the Convict Gang take on the Mayan Witch. Hacks.

  • Owen Thunderguns

    Rich is a funnier character than we’ve had bef………ehh f@#k it….

  • caye74

    Did the phone came with the charger? I want that power cell now!

  • Copperbeard

    He would have been a far better Joker. Leto ain’t got shit on his laugh game.

  • tOmy`

    Well, that’s all cute and dandy, but can we finally get the explanation on how did you travel back in time from Mt. Everest to a point where Rich was already ta-

    Ah, fuck it.

  • Francis Tommaso

    God damn hack/frauds…

  • Jack Burton

    Did Rich lose weight, or is it just that he’s dressed like an adult?

  • Bert Godding

    I mentioned this in the comments to the original video. The security guard was the one at the illegal casino. That’s where Joker threatened him. The VERY NEXT SCENE that guard slipped her the phone while she was strapped in the chair. He even said, “Tell Mr. J I came through for you.” And Harley said “you are so screwed.”

  • Copperbeard

    Title promised me one things. But the chemical vat and the cell phone are TWO separate things you lying hackfrauds! Way to mislead your audience!!!!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    But how did she get the phone?!

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Boooooooooooo!!!

  • The cellphone is still a mystery though. I think we may never know what really happened….

  • You better sell the filming rights to Asylum.

  • Surely, you mean “farts”.

  • Copperbeard

    The Guard™ gave Haley™ the Phone™ and she strategically hid it in her Wombspace Compartment™. That’s what Happened™.

  • tOmy`

    I would also like to know how did they find Enchantress, before fucking the evil into her, before they attack the Arkham Asy-

    Oh, wait, that was the porn one. It’s actually very easy to mix those two up.

  • I guess we will never know……..

  • Punanistorm

    To be fair, you guys did seem to be the only two people on the planet that didn’t understand the cell phone thing.

    Shame

    Shame

    Shame

  • tOmy`

    (I missed it as well. I was crying right around that time.)

  • tOmy`

    Good boy! Now try: MIKE STOKLASA!

  • Punanistorm

    Delete your comment! Quick before you’re shamed!

  • What was it called? Sexual Squad?

  • tOmy`

    I watched that episode of GoT, I have no shame left.

  • In case you didn’t know, being on this comment zone proves you have no shame, or life. NONE OF US DO, DAMMIT.

  • tOmy`

    Suicide Squad XXX An Axel Braun Parody (Wicked productions)

    It builds upon one of the comic books tho, not the movie. That’s why it’s enjoyable.

  • bleurgh

    The BG music for this episode is an elevator muzak version of Drakes Hotline Bling.

  • His laughter is way more iconic than Leto’s.

  • Punanistorm

    Why was that mall cop planting all those cell phones on Mike and Jay?

  • You know, it might be the best version out there. I watched the animated version of Suicide Squad (Assault on Arkham) and it was as terrible as the reviews say Suicide Squad is. YAHTZEE.

  • mall plarp*

  • you seem almost adorably new to Red Letter Media

  • DarthRandal

    That Hotline Bling muzak in the background tho…

  • tOmy`

    Yea, the porn parody is based on Assault on Arkham. I was kinda confused who is the Ice Chick, but then she took off her clothes and I got it.

    She was a pornstar all along!

  • Punanistorm

    The irony of your comment is adorable.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, what’s up with that Hotline Bling muzak in the background? The BG music for this episode is an elevator muzak version of Drakes Hotline Bling, in case you didn’t know.

    No, seriously, can someone please translate the back of this comment zone into English? I am not sure all of us can cope.

  • bleurgh

    Because Harley Quinn called the Joker on her cellphone…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You’re like The Joker with all those different versions of what you were doing during that scene.

  • tOmy`

    *texted

    WERE YOU EVEN WATCHING THE SCREEN?!

  • tOmy`

    The other one is true.

    Obviously.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Assault on Arkham is an animated movie… Not based on existing story in comics, as far as I know…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I made two extensive replies to tOmy, about how bad Assault is, in the last comment zone.

  • YAHTZEEE

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Nolan’s version of Harley Quinn:

    “Ya wanna know how I got this phone?”

  • New phone, who dis?

  • bleurgh

    Well she USED to call him on her cellphone.

  • tOmy`

    Aha! I didn’t know!

    And I didn’t care! Oh, speaking of: My comment didn’t send yesterday. Regarding the Ice Tits: I kinda mislead you with that comment. I meant that the story is apparently AA, unfortunately not that scene with her pretending to be dead.

    They just sorta walk in there, under Enchantress’ spell to look like guards, and Ice Tits has some secret mission, because she freezes Boomerang and then goes to rescue (and suck off) Riddler.

  • tOmy`

    Maybe RLM will make a video about it!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Halrey’s bestest known catchphrase we all know and love!

  • tOmy`

    But why was that cellphone with the guard and not in the box with her personal belongings that she got 5 minutes later anyway?

    I mean fuck, they gave her back her make-up, stylish bra and eyeshadows, yet the cellphone is not in there? But with a guard? Who are these jokers?

  • Glyph Wright

    I didn’t understand why Harley Queen didn’t die when she hopped on the helicopter, and Female Nick Fury tried detonating the nano-bomb in her neck. It killed Native American Guy-man, why didn’t it work on Harvey? Did I miss a scene where HQ’s nano-bomb got disabled? Why did they need Will Smith to kill her?

    PLEASE EXPLAIN

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh. Well, I’m still excited to watch it! Even more so than the movie itself… for definitely no reason related to fapping.

    Speaking of Riddler: In the beginning of Assault on Arkham, the Riddler hacks into Amanda Waller’s webcam and asks her riddles, then she gets one right and Riddler is like “Whaaaaat?” And Waller goes “Yup. I googled it.”

    Too edgy boiiii! #WeSoSelfAware

    Since when hasn’t Riddler come up with his own riddles?

  • tOmy`

    It’s actually quite simple, once you drink enough of bleach and remember that this movie possibly had a script:

    Joker invades some sort of a laboratory that enables him / them / somebody to do something with the something in her neck. That’s why she so boldly waltzes off into the bullet-filled sunset.

    DUH!

    Deadshot was supposed to kill her because at that moment, the movie realized it needs an emotional scene, which wasn’t either surprising, or logical, as Viola drones the creepy fuck anyway. (And because we saw trailers and we knew Harley Quinn will survive. Or because DC already said she will survive. Or because they said they have movies planned with her ahead of the release of this one. Or because by that time you knew the movie sucks.)

  • tOmy`

    He has some cool riddles in the porn version. Not to spoil the flick, but one of them has an answer “banana” and the other one “female tongue”.

    How’s that for edge?

    I haven’t watched it all, but the scene with Enchantress has more interesting lighting than whole SS combined. And they probably just used a bulb with a blue condom on it.

  • Punanistorm

    To anyone here planning on doing a “fan”-edit of Suicide Squad:

    Please, please, PLEASE dub over Leto’s laugh with Rich Evans’.

  • Or just paste any good performance of joker over him.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Nice cover of Drake’s “Hotline Bling”, you FRAUDS!

  • Kylee landemann

    **Spoiler filled response, avert ye eyes**

    Maybe you guys are just being ornary, but the dickhead prison guard slipped her the cellphone “This is from Mr. J, tell him I took care of you.” which is when she said “you’re so screwed.”

    It’s also why the joker targeted him in the earlier scene in the casino.

    Still strange and a quick edit definitely, it was kind of easy to miss.

    Again, maybe you guys are joking to stir up nerd rage, in which case, carry on. If not, I hope this helps.

    Keep up the good work, I look forward to the return of Plinkett reviews! 🙂

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    They offered him a Twinkie.

  • nametaken

    Asylum’s business model is to never pay people for stories.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This film needed less SQUAD and more SUICIDE.

  • Then sue them for using strikingly similar characters like Unhinged Ursula and her Crazy Criminals.

  • nametaken

    they had the nerve to sue someone?

  • Percy Gryce

    This is the fastest I’ve seen these hackulent frauds respond to fan criticism. I mean I leave them a couple of critical voicemails everyday and I never hear back from them. Except for Jack. That guy calls and texts all the time. I can’t get rid of that guy. I need a spray or a powder to fend off that guy.

  • Percy Gryce

    This webzone need less Other Guys and more Taco.

  • Punanistorm

    Let’s taco bout that.

  • Punanistorm

    How did Jack get a cell phone though?

  • tOmy`

    So how did she get the cellphone then?

  • Percy Gryce

    No discussion permitted. What do you think this is–a free-speech zone?

  • Percy Gryce

    He sold his gorgeous locks to cancer patients in India . . .

    Oh, you were doing, like, a thing.

  • Dragon Sound

    You know, you’d almost think that they have actually already heard this same thing a million times from other people, and then made an entirely new video that featured Rich Evans dressed as a prison guard repeatedly slipping them cell phones the entire time…

  • tOmy`

    Don’t be ridiculous.

  • Punanistorm

    Why was Rich slipping them cell phones though? Wasn’t Harley the one that needed a cell phone? I’m so confused.

  • Mark Bisone

    Also, why is it revealed at the end that Rob Schneider’s love interest is the animal, when an earlier scene whereupon she wears a backless gown proves she doesn’t bear the trademark X-shaped scar?

    And where are my pants?

  • Domo

    I heard they respond well to drink-a-grams.

    The harder the booze, the better the response.

  • Mark Bisone

    Maybe try a giant blue laser.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    No, but it ceratinly is a link-free zone. Heyoooo!

  • Dragon Sound

    Because they had phone calls and Rich Evans is very unprofessional.

  • Punanistorm

    What’s Zelda got to do with this? Is this Pre Rec? What’s going on?

  • Dragon Sound

    But I already have “ridiculous” tattooed on my forehead!

  • tOmy`

    The guard has them.

  • david blane

    michael

  • Mark Bisone

    And then she said, “Did I ever tell you how I got these scars?”

  • tOmy`

    Well, that’s one cool comment you got there, man.

  • tOmy`

    I did the same thing, just replace the name Mike and Jay for Mr. Ayer.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Sounds like you need some Jack-Off

  • dollar store cashier wife

    fart shart

  • Mark Bisone

    Maybe the horse semen scene was a sly reference to the Shrim Alternative Healing Center at the S’Wallow Valley Mall? We might need to contact Horse Ninja to straighten all this out.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Just like the Ice lady’s titties!

  • Domo

    “That’s a lot of cum.”

    –Horse Ninja

  • Archfriend

    Do an artificially zoomed-in insert of the prison guard slipping Harley Quinn the cellphone, and slow it down, so that people can see it.

  • Mark Bisone

    I’ve heard the easiest way to summon Horse Ninja is to shine laser pointers into the cockpits of descending airliners.

    (Only kidding, NSA. I was just looking for an excuse to type “cock.”)

  • Mike Schwartz

    This was not worth delaying the Strange Things review for, you dicks.

  • Archfriend

    How come when Deadshot shot her, she knew when to play dead? Was there something I missed?

  • Thank you for taking the time to answer the fans about these important issues. Also a big thank you to all the fans out there. I’m sure glad we straightened out these issues. Now, only five thousand six hundred and nine eleven issues left.

  • Punanistorm

    For me the bigger question is how did none of the good guys notice Harley checking her phone? She wasn’t exactly being discreet about it.

    Was Katana busy sob-talking to her dead husband’s soul trapped inside her sword?

    What was Flag doing? Lost in thought dreaming about what’s her face?

    I mean think about it, sitting in that helicopter what else is there to do other than look at the people seated opposite you?

  • Archfriend

    Suicide Girls Squat

  • Only Slavs squat. Trust me, I’m one.

  • Ok, so issue no:1. The big one! Ready. Alright now. Get your brain juices flowing.

    Why was this movie even released in it’s current form? And, go!

  • Punanistorm

    Then repeat the scene three times in Zack Snyder slomo-to-sped-up-style.

  • Punanistorm

    $280,000,000 worldwide box office in four days, bitch. Your question is invalid.

  • Did Rich have a Golden AK-47? I don’t remember seeing a phone at all.

  • Punanistorm

    Because the movie needed a “tense and dramatic moment” to happen.

  • That’s correct, except for the invalid part. You answered perfectly.

    Now, issue no:2. Why did people go see it?

  • Percy Gryce

    To contact Mike & Jay, or to get rid of my Jack itch?

  • Percy Gryce

    Domo, that’s your thing. BTW did you send them the Death’s Head vodka?

  • Punanistorm

    Because the marketing was pretty good.

    And the target demographic (males) all wanted to fuck Harley Quinn.

  • Both, of course.

  • Percy Gryce

    And gif-free too. Remember when Faddlechud would tickle our fancies with his glorious penis-free gifs?

  • Hey, Andrew’s wasn’t a gif! Oh and Domo left us beautiful nutscapes the other day over at the Tapehole.

  • Mark Bisone

    Yes.

  • Shhhh… it’s alright. Just breathe in the gas.

  • Correct. (please know there are even more answers to even my previous questions)

    You’ve done good sir.

  • Punanistorm

    Thank you. Do I get a prize?

    Please let it be a cell phone…

  • Quotidian, Man

    It has earned more money domestically in one weekend than Star Trek Beyond has so far and STB is by all accounts a better film. It just needed some Margot Robbie in it I guess.

  • Did Harley hide the phone in her vagoon?
    Did Harley hide the phone in her vajala?
    Did Harley hide the phone in her squishbox?

    Please send me your answers to the following email address: idontgiveafuck@fuckyou.com

  • Domo

    I wish I had thought of it, but no. I suspect they bought a case of 20 to hold them over for a month. What I’ve sent in the past probably doesn’t even last a day.

  • Domo

    *fuckyouaudience.com

  • The Ghosbusters 2016 blu-ray. Now, name, address and blood type please.

  • tOmy`

    You know how they do it in real prisons to see whether a female inmate ain’t hiding anything in her prison cell?

    They make them SKWAD.

  • Ba-dun-tsh!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You misogynistic pig! This movie celebrates women’s sexuality just like Ghosbusters 2K16 champions feminism!

  • Well, he is related to griefing clowns.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I get the feeling August is the Summer’s “Fuck You, It’s January”. Studios seem to dump movies they have a lot of money in but a lot of doubt about. “Guardians of the Galaxy” and “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” cum to mind in this regard. They’re movies that get big budgets but who’s studios lack the confidence to release them between Memorial Day and July 4.

  • I’ll let you decide. But the answer is yes.

  • I prefer the less gender specific term “swine”, thank you.

  • instant relief

    No, she did hide it in her rectum, dummy!

  • Percy Gryce

    Particularly when they were trapped on that mountain, drinking for their lives.

  • RiverDevil

    Is this replacing re:view?

  • No, it’s replacing the new chairs.

  • tOmy`

    Guys, guys, I think I figured this one out! I did a little bit of Googling and I found this:

    “Harley Quinn is a character in Injustice: Gods Among Us Mobile

  • Punanistorm

    Of all the problems this movie had I never would’ve guessed that a scene revolving around a cell phone would be the thing to cause a shitstorm.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    To be honest, when I saw the movie I didn’t register the guard handing Harley a phone either. I also didn’t twig that the casino guy was the prison guard from earlier… and was confused as Mike & Jay why that story-line didn’t seem to reappear.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    How many micro-transactions do they want for a coherent cut of the movie?

  • DUN-DUN-DUN!

  • tOmy`

    Well, we already moved past the point of punching women and took down patriarchy, now we can focus on the Big Cell conglomerates.

  • Percy Gryce

    Upvote ’cause your screen name makes me chuckle, maybe even chortle.

  • While somewhat true (especially with GB2016), SS was considered a surefire box office hit regardless of the time it was released. Releasing it along a Marvel movie would have hurt both parties as the target audiences surely overlap with those movies.
    It seems that the studios (and not only the studios) are becoming wiser with spacing out their release dates, especially when the competition is so big. Basically with the current oversaturation of comic book movies (or blockbusters in general), it’s simply wiser to abandon traditional schedules and dates in favor of a more fluid calendar. The same has been happening with huge videogame titles, where titles that usually hit around Christmas, get released mid November (Call of Duty), while their direct competitors get released earlier (Battlefield 3).

  • Punanistorm

    As horrible as that is, it’ll still make a better coaster than the Space Cop blu-ray.

  • Not that you had anything of note to say.

  • OH SNAP! (went the disc)

  • instant relief

    I still don’t understand why I have sand in my vagina.

  • LameSame

    NOOO, it’s replacing Plinkett Reviewzzzzzz

  • Domo

    He’s responding to Bone-to-Pick, not Admiral Insightful Anal-sis.

  • LameSame

    It’s probably related to the mass amounts of sand you keep shoveling into your vagina.

  • luvs2pwge

    Is Rich Evans actually a Police Officer?

  • LameSame

    I refuse to watch a movie about a bunch of suicidal people. I choose life!

  • LameSame

    No. But you bet your ass he’s a real security guard somewhere.

  • That is also correct.

  • A true mall plarp.

  • luvs2pwge

    It is my understanding that Security Guards have the same legal powers as cops except they get more respect.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    so heroin?

  • LameSame

    Call Mop

  • Do they shoot unarmed African Americans as often too?

  • C-C-C-C-C-COCAINE!!

  • LameSame

    No, but they make them leave the FYE if they’re talking too loud. An equal injustice, if you ask me!

  • luvs2pwge

    Jack Packard had hair before he started using heroin.

  • Punanistorm

    I would pay good money to see Will Smith kill himself in a movie.

    Oh wait, he already did that in Seven Pounds where he takes a bath with his best friend deadly jellyfish.

  • instant relief

    Hey, we only use code here, okay? Refer to it as Michael Cocaine. #NSA

  • luvs2pwge

    There is no such thing as an unarmed African American.

  • instant relief

    But he didn’t have a brain.

  • You’re thinking of Texans. The two might overlap.

  • luvs2pwge

    Be patient that Scientologist is not long from a another mental breakdown.

  • H A R D B A S S

  • Punanistorm

    Jack isn’t even cool enough to be around people doing heroin.

  • luvs2pwge

    Is Will Smith Hancock in Suicide Squad or do they give a rat’s ass anymore about double casting

  • Punanistorm

    I like movie Tom Cruise. That guy’s so likable you forget how crazy real life Tom Cruise is.

  • LameSame

    To the best of my knowledge, it’s Hancock in Suicide Squad. I really don’t think I’m wrong, here.

  • luvs2pwge

    Have you any idea how tiring it is to use your full-ass when making a film?

  • luvs2pwge

    That is interesting. I really hate Chris Evans was the Human torch and Capt. America. Same for Ryan Gosling.

  • Jean-François Martel

    Rich Evans is everywhere

  • luvs2pwge

    Tom Cruise is the perfect amount of crazy, just like Mel Gibson.

  • tOmy`

    If you won’t immediately tell me what song is this from I am gonna eat the table.

  • LameSame

    I love them both. So much. And I’m a Jew!

  • Punanistorm

    Yeah, Mel Gibson’s also the perfect amount of racist though.

    Sorry, Tom.

  • Did you ever the get the you needed to lose weight?

  • tOmy`

    Oh, QOTSA, thank god.

  • luvs2pwge

    Wannabe by the Spice Girls

  • QOTSA – Feel Good Hit of the Summer.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, just got it. Thanks.

    It was one of those awful moments when you just hear the song in your head but cannot for the love of you figure out what is it.

  • LameSame

    So you know it’s okay to like them!

  • luvs2pwge

    I get the same moment with this song.

    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
    My, oh, my, what a wonderful day
    Plenty of sunshine headin’ my way
    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!
    Mister Bluebird’s on my shoulder
    It’s the truth, it’s “actch’ll”
    Everything is “satisfactch’ll”
    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
    Wonderful feeling, wonderful day!
    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
    My, oh, my, what a wonderful day
    Plenty of sunshine headin’ my way
    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!
    Mister Bluebird’s on my shoulder
    It’s the truth, it’s “actch’ll”
    Everything is “satisfactch’ll”
    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah,

  • luvs2pwge

    Is it technically racism if he is really really drunk?

  • “There’s got to be a better way than exercise!”

  • Haha. Meesa liiki dat da food talking back.

  • Is it technically DUI if I’m driving while I’m really, really drunk? I really have to know and hope the answer is no, because I really can’t afford to go to jail right now.

  • Punanistorm

    You know what they say (at least in my country): The truth you’ll hear from drunks and children.

  • Punanistorm

    Is it technically murder if I kill them til they’re dead?

  • luvs2pwge

    LMAO

  • RiverDevil

    I would like to see Top 187 things you didn’t know about Gamestation 2.0

  • 1. It didn’t suck, unlike Pre-Rectum. (I do hope we get to 187 when everyone chimes in)

  • luvs2pwge

    When you are drunk enough not to give the cops your keys they will let you go on your merry way.

  • LameSame

    What a wasted set.

  • You can find Rich Evens in a bucket next to the mop.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    He’s having one. He’s one of those rich millionaire successful people who everyone looks up to who tells us constantly how people like him can’t succeed. And he has psychotic children.

  • luvs2pwge

    psychotic is an understatement.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    I kind of wonder why more people aren’t okay with racism. Racism isn’t really the problem, violence and rudeness are. If you really think the Jooz are running everything, whatever. If you run around screaming it, that’s where we should draw the line.

  • Mr.Fister

    crazy times…movie trailer looks like shit Star Trek turns out to be a decent movie…great trailer but Sucide Squat is probably a bad movie (have to find out myself yet)

  • jhonny_appleseed

    If by that you mean “at half the rate they shoot unarmed white men”, probably.

  • Punanistorm

    Don’t worry guys. I’m confident the Director’s Cut will contain a c-plot exploring the cell phone and it’s motivation more.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    … that makes me sad. So this onslaught of cookie-cutter comic book movies is going to continue?

    Kind of makes me look forward to that idiotic gender-swapped Splash.

    “Mer-MAN, father! Mer-MAN!!!”

  • jhonny_appleseed

    Anybody know if they decided to call the Splash gender-swap remake “Sploosh”?

  • Punanistorm

    There are more subtle ways of acting out your racism.

    Ever heard of WHITEWASHING YOU WHITE MALE CIS GENDER PRIVELEGED SCUMBAG???

  • jhonny_appleseed

    … that’s a cream, right?

  • tOmy`

    Okay guys, I think we are veering off from the core of this conversation. Enough with all your silly (but maybe Justified) tangents, let’s get to the bottom of this.

    Was this the Miami Hotline Bling Gucci Bandana song by Drake or not?

  • jhonny_appleseed

    “Whitewashing”? Isn’t that the thing Tom Sawyer tried to convince N-Word Jim to do?

  • Punanistorm

    I think some guys already confirmed that that is indeed whatever that is.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    Did they run a lot on shaky cam and do bad impressions of actual characters written 60 years ago?

    Was it a SABOOTAAAAAAAGE!!!!?

  • From the Washington Post: “According to the most recent census data, there are nearly 160 million more white people in America than there are black people. White people make up roughly 62 percent of the U.S. population but only about 49 percent of those who are killed by police officers. African Americans, however, account for 24 percent of those fatally shot and killed by the police despite being just 13 percent of the U.S. population. As The Post noted in a new analysis published last week, that means black Americans are 2.5 times as likely as white Americans to be shot and killed by police officers.”

  • tOmy`

    Odd, never seen that movie.

    The only other movie with a cellphone I remember is the Phone Booth.

  • Mark Bisone

    Maybe we should assemble our own suicide cult squad, to cleanse the internet of douchey skunkfuckers. I nominate Can’t Say No Clown for his ball juggling expertise, and Showbiz Pizza Bear for his prowess in rapemanship.

  • Punanistorm

    But aren’t black Americans also 2.5 times as likely to be gun wielding criminals as white Americans?

  • DIBS ON THE (poisoned) PIZZA ROLLS AND KOOL AID

  • I don’t know. You do the meth on that one.

  • maddog

    Yeah. How dare you guys miss that small detail with that mean guard giving Harley the cellphone… You know that part of the story that didn’t pay off… Like at all. How dare you miss the shit in the shitty shit.

  • Punanistorm

    I honestly cannot tell if your sarcasm is siding with or against the hacks.

  • maddog

    It’s siding with the fact that the movie sucked.

  • Punanistorm

    I think even the cell phone apologists are with you on that one.

  • Imaf

    Q: Why does Harley Quinn have a cell phone? A: She’s in prison. In a cell. Duh!

  • Punanistorm

    So the trailer dropped for the supposedly final Resident Evil movie – Resident Evil: The Final Chapter.

    The first 50 seconds is basicly a not very subtly add for BMW followed up by our beloved quality stamp: “This January”.

    The rest is recycled over the top bad CGI action schlock that looks like it might actually be so bad it’s good.

    Can’t wait for the HitB on this one.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    *sploosh*

  • Punanistorm

    I feel so stupid now.

  • Yeah, some of the responses from the fans concerning this movie is a little troubling and sad. I would never think that people would be willing to accuse random critics of being Marvel fanboys and biased in their reviews. It is kind of laughable the counter narrative that developed how the critics are out of touch with consumers and that the masses will decide if the movie holds any merit. By that metric McDonalds and TacoBell are superior food products.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “I’m gonna die laughing”

    -Rich Evans, watching a Resident Evil moopie.

  • Domo

    Taco Bell’s “Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Tacos Supreme” are the best.

    What do you know, bro?!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    So, if reshoots and a panicky studio ruined this movie, do you think that your precious Rogue One will suffer a similar fate? Or is that a different situation?

  • fred

    DU hurr hurr

  • Punanistorm

    Regarding Harley Quinn getting punched in the fucking face by Batman.

    Q: A psychotic woman lunges at you with a knife. Trying to defend yourself, what do you do?

    A: Spazz out and get stabbed.

    Correct.

    Q: A psychotic woman lunges at Batman with a knife. Trying to defend himself and bring in Harley Quinn alive and (almost) unharmed, what does he do?

    A: Punch her once in the face so she lapses into unconsciousness. Then saves her crazy ass from drowning.

    Fuck you. Batman likes beating up women.

  • tOmy`

    It’s made by Disney.

    They have perfectly working Cinematic Universe of their comic book stuff, that will continue to print money for years to come, and this movie comes with the title Star Wars in it, which means they don’t even need to care.

    They don’t have to worry about a flop or two, fucking Lucas couldn’t drive this franchise into ground.

  • Punanistorm

    A psychotic woman lunges at you with a knife. You want to defend yourself but you’re also somewhat confused because you know it’s obviously not cool to hit women yet now you find yourself facing off against one in a life or death situation.

    Q: How do you proceed?

    A: Spazz out and get stabbed.

    Correct.

  • RiverDevil

    Ketracel-white. Victory is life

  • Punanistorm

    Great flick. I love it when Kiefer Sutherland gets to play the good guy.

  • It’s not like terrible reviews stopped this movie from earning a shitload.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    … funny. You mention population representation but left out:

    – armed or unarmed (the original supposition)
    – proportionality of crimes committed by race

    It’s almost like you had a conclusion you wanted and moved numbers around until you got it. Like the WP. “Yes, but no.” Wow, what journalism!

    Meanwhile, there’s the Harvard study reported by NYT that shows ZERO racial bias in police shootings. But hey, facts, yes but no, amirite?

    Today we have the whole web ‘remembering’ the ‘Gentle Giant’ … who robbed a store then tried to murder a cop, whose friends lied about what happened, and who spawned a movement whose members have been gunning down cops ever since. But whatever, right?

  • bleurgh

    You whip out a can of woman repellent* from your utility belt and spray her in the face until she starts crying.

    *Also known as Axe body spray

  • Punanistorm

    Lucky for me I naturally repell women.

  • Kylee landemann

    Fair enough, it’s almost as if I missed that.

  • Kylee landemann

    Butt smuggle.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    America took home a silver medal in Men’s Foil and this Skwad talk is the best we got?

    Sheesh. Time to turn in my badge.

  • instant relief

    I think I may have a cent in my vagina.

  • Well, in your first post you smugly stated it as fact without providing any evidence, so I naturally provided something against you. There is an excerpt from a related Washington Post article (headline, actually): “A year after Michael Brown’s fatal shooting, unarmed black men are seven times more likely than whites to die by police gunfire”. So, according to that WP article it is true.

    I haven’t been following the case of Michael Brown, I assume that’s who you’re referring to. That’s something interesting to know. Does that invalidate the whole movement? Only according to an article you circumstantially mentioned. The general picture still presents itself as such – unarmed black men do get killed more frequently than unarmed white men, even if the cops don’t act out of racism. Why is that?

    Is it only media driven confirmation bias as they only report incidents involving black people? It would be nice if you could direct me to the article you’re citing, since links don’t work so a simple headline would do.

    If you are referring to the article”Police Killings of Blacks: Here Is What the Data Say”, that’s not exactly what it says. It does not exclude racial bias of police officers but points to deeper social and economic issues plus it hold up the number WP cited earlier.

  • OMNI

    Just saw a trailer. It looks MEH

  • OMNI

    or….mace…

  • OMNI

    Don’t forget inane tangents

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yes, it will make money. That’s a given. But will it be good?

    I want more Plinkett reviews, and good Star Wars movies go against my personal interests.

  • OMNI

    I wonder if anyone has ever called him Queefer Sutherland?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    You gotta use the stuff in the blue bottle, the ‘fast kill-low irritant’ one.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I heard we came in 3, 2, 3, 4…

  • Firsty Lasty

    Or grab her wrist and hold it till she agrees to let go of the knife. Trust me it works.

  • Firsty Lasty

    I cant wait till comic book shite dies and goes away. I hate COMIC BOOK SHITE! Cant RLM review a movie?! rather than CGI cartoons.

  • Firsty Lasty

    We tried that There was a lot of bannings.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    Your post is hilarious. You’re basically saying all facts that go against the narrative you want to believe are meaningless.

    There is no evidence whatsoever that police are ‘out shooting unarmed black men’. There isn’t even evidence that police shoot black men at a higher rate than white men, despite the fact that black men have a much higher statistical chance than white men of being involved in the type of crime that leads to shooting.

    You bought into a media narrative. And you can’t even be bothered to check into it. Please do read about the Michael Brown case. Nothing we were told at the beginning proved true. He robbed a store and was trying to murder a cop with his own gun.

    Yes, it does invalidate the whole ‘movement’, which is actually a catch-all front for the same disaffected leftists who ran Occupy whatever back in the day. It’s based on lies, they tell lies every day, and they create a culture where people who believe those lies either white-knight on message boards or go out and shoot cops.

  • brokensnow

    yep.

  • Thanatos

    Not at all. Where did the phone come from?

  • Thanatos

    You’ll need a whole vat of the stuff

  • Thanatos

    Unlike Ghostbusters, the trailers made it seem cool. Really, that’s the only reason.

  • Thanatos

    Considering african americans are incarcerated at 6 times the rates of whites, proportionately, they’re shot less often at the rates police are arresting them…..

  • Thanatos

    I’d be nice if they actually reviewed a CGI cartoon for once.

  • Thanatos

    The thumbnail pic of the video above is better than the movie……..

  • Joe Syxpac

    In ten years, when I watch this movie for the first time, I’m gonna be so preoccupied with all the cell phone misuse that I won’t be able to enjoy it.

    Thanks a lot.

  • You still haven’t provided me with your proof from the NYT.

  • Can’t the same thing be said of whites or hispanics and Asians? They probably too get arrested more often than shot.

  • ElectricPrism

    Lucky

  • Whiskey Jack: Lord of Pith

    A rare appearance by Terrestrial Cop.

  • tOmy`

    Hard to guess. I was looking forward to it more than to TFA, but can’t say that the trailer filled me with any particular hype.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, you have no clue about the amount of shit and flaming we witnessed (and that was aimed at us) for even talking about this movie with its fans.

    From what I gathered, this movie is basically like Blade Runner*. In 10 years from now, it will crawl up to 11/10 on IMDB and becomes one of the best movies ever, because people are not ready for this kind of a cinema.

    *Their words, not mine.

  • Mr.Fister

    You know the caracters where well written and played, they chose the right tone for everything, except some plotholes that where minor in the beginning and got overwhelming in the end :)…where did the bad guy muster a force of 1 gazillion warriors to fly his ships etc. etc.

  • tOmy`

    I like the idea of going back to its roots. If they pull this off in a self-aware way and make it at least fun…

    Well, who knows, maybe this will be a fine send off for this franchise.

    The problem is that if this really works, well, then it won’t be just a send off, but new grounds to market a reboot on.

  • tOmy`

    So you are saying that you can stand it, even though they planned it?

  • tOmy`

    BUT IT HAS STORMTROOPERS WALKING ON BEACH!

    ON BEACH!

    What are you, some cynical asshole?! ON BEACH!

  • tOmy`

    Regarding the Golden Age of TV and what was described as a peak in 2017:

    FX Network CEO:

    “It now seems clear that, at a minimum, the peak will be in calendar 2017—and there is enough inertial momentum here that we could well see the growth trend carrying over into the 2018 calendar year,” Landgraf said. To that end, the latest data from the network predicts that approximately 500 scripted series will be produced in the United States by 2017″

    Projected originals:
    Broadcast: 150
    Pay Cable: 50
    Basic Cable: 180
    Online Services: 130+

  • I don’t care about either franchise. Though it is obvious this movie had the potential to be good but it’s fairly obvious it was squandered.

  • Punanistorm

    I’m sure every psychotic knife attack is that easily resolved.

  • Mr.Fister

    I don’t understand your question

  • tOmy`

    It’s a reference to the Beastie Boys song from the trailer. (That Sabotage joke above as well)

  • Gordon Napier

    Didn’t the Joker give the phone to the guard from The Mindy Project and he gave it to her when she was in the wheel chair as they were escorted to the helicopter

  • Punanistorm

    Still doesn’t make sense to me.

  • tOmy`

    What phone? The Drake’s Bling Hotline Miami Without Me Police?

  • Firsty Lasty

    i’m 3 out of 4. Sometimes you get stabbed. you live with it.

  • Firsty Lasty

    That would be better.

  • Firsty Lasty

    Look I have to own up… I gave her the phone. so blame me.

  • Punanistorm

    What?! Do you have any idea what you’ve done?!

    No, seriously, I’m asking you. How did it affect the plot?

  • Spoiled Ants

    See, if this would’ve been a Sony film they would’ve clearly shown their product. Including the great battery life and Wifi range, or how Harley can easily connect to HangOuts™ and find new friends..etc

  • Spoiled Ants

    …..except Satan……………………
    …………………………
    ………………
    ……
    you know, because he prefers virgins……..

  • Spoiled Ants

    He’s frequently patrolling the Doughnut Shops, that’s for sure.

  • Now I Get It

    So much hair. More like notscaping, amirite? Hey, hippies, get off my internet.

    No shorts, no shave, no service.

  • Mr.Fister

    ah ok!

  • Now I Get It

    When did you get a phone? Biggest scam in the Bell-Edison complex. The Knick tells all.

  • Kaingerc

    so if we watch the extended 6 hour cut everything will be clear?! got it!

  • Now I Get It

    This site’s reboot is 87% complete. Taco’s return will be the last update. Do not unplug your webzone.

  • Thanatos

    Uh, what? You’re not looking at the right ratio.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Now we just need an Admiral Nit-to-Pick. Any of the cellphone apologists want to volunteer?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’d tap that… number into my phone and call her. I’m sure she’d enjoy my vibes

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I was too busy trying to follow things to notice, but now that I’ve had a few days to stew on it… man, Leto really sucked.

  • tOmy`

    So let’s talk about his tattoo! Here is what Mr. Ayer has to say about it:

    “This is sort of my personal thing and maybe less about a larger connection. But Joker killed Robin and Batman basically smashes his teeth out and locks him up in Arkham Asylum. It’s in the asylum where Joker would have done the ‘damaged’ tattoo as a message to Batman saying, ‘You’ve damaged me. I was so beautiful before and now you’ve destroyed my face.’ That’s where the grill comes from.”

    Clear? Clear. Okay, great. Moving on.

  • ZeroWasRight

    Since 2007 I don’t care anymore.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    The best part is we got to see all of that and didn’t have to settle for just being told it happened.

  • ChimChamChum

    That’s fucking retarded. We shouldn’t have to have a compendium to fucking understand the nuances from the movie. Without that backstory it just looks like some Eminem looking g-thug wannabe got into his moms makeup case and started lashing out.

    The grill, the tattoos and the way he acted was terrible. No amount of lead up or “this is why he has a a tattoo on his abdomen” is going to change that.

  • Variant

    Isn’t it obvious? She hid it in her sext hole.

  • cucadandi

    But which one? There are three. Perhaps more if you’re ambitious.

  • tOmy`

    If we saw it happen, it would inevitably lead to rather unpleasant questions, such as:

    “He already had the tattoo and the grill before he was in Arkham, we seen the movie, Mr. Ayer. Have you?”

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Is that the script between his canine and incisor?

  • tOmy`

    You know, the more I listen to this clown, the more I believe the original cut was actually much, much worse.

    He clearly has all these super duper ideas for cool scenes, but has no concept of timeline, structure or how to put them together in a coherent manner. It all sounds like My Chemical Romance lyrics. A lot of cool statements, a lot of “powerful” slogans, not much of an actual meaning.

    Suicide Squad could literally have the MCR’s tagline: “Louder than God’s revolver and twice as shiny” and it would be pretty much appropriate.

    So imagine that the original cut (or as Ayer puts it, the 6 or 7 different versions of movie they had, holy fuck…) was actually worse, less coherent and made less sense than this awful cut made by a Trailer Park company.

    I kinda wanna see it.

  • Sans_Fi

    Sony does like their Product Placement.

  • Punanistorm

    I was surprised she didn’t phone up the main bad guy on her Sony cell phone to make a lame threat.

    Let’s hope for Mike and Jay that doesn’t happen in the movie or they won’t be able to make heads or tails of anything.

  • Sans_Fi

    Lately Disney has been incredible lately. Of the 5 good blockbuster movies this year (Civil War, Zootopia, Finding Dory, Jungle Book and Deadpool) 4 where made by them.

  • Punanistorm

    Unless you die.

  • caye74

    Now you made me go to youtube to see MCR’ Na na na, and recommendations for the next month will be filled with Fall Out Boy and Thirty Seconds To Mars >>facepalm<<

  • Variant

    You’ll have to ask someone more experienced. I’ve never sexted any holes.

  • OMNI

    That scene was comical. I luld

  • tOmy`

    Na Na Na is a stellar example of what I have been talking about. I absolutely love the lyrics, because they are simply poster slogans haphazardly connected together to scream: “Fun! In Your Face!”

    I love them.

    But they weren’t making a fucking movie.

  • tOmy`

    At least we know they aren’t actual iPods.

    Last time I threw an iPod into the water, my friend told me I was being a dick and told me I will have to pay for it.

  • tOmy`

    No matter what anyone thinks about these movies (including me), they are doing something right.

    Mostly brand-recognition-wise, but still. DCEU brand recognition now reads “third strike”.

  • tOmy`

    ‘Suicide Squad’ sets new box office record, beats ‘Captain America: Civil War’ and ‘Batman v Superman’

  • Percy Gryce

    I found one in the butler’s pantry.

  • Punanistorm

    In the next Avengers we’ll see Black Widow in hotpants.

  • Percy Gryce

    I read that as “amputated” and had a sympathetic shiver.

  • RiverboatGrambler

    That sounds like something that would be cool to see in, say, a Batman movie that came out before this movie.

  • tOmy`

    Or, say, in any of those 7 origin story movies that were clearly left in the trash bin, because Justice League.

  • Now I Get It

    My, my, how little one knows anyone these days. You’d best have his children eugenicised, and their scrotal tidbits sent far, far away via Wells’ time machine to Captain Queeg for plating.

  • caye74

    I love that video as well 🙂 5 minutes is more than enough 😀

  • bleurgh

    Here I was thinking that expression refered to quality, but apparently it’s a description of quantity.

  • bleurgh

    At this point DC is really causing the death of the genre. You’d imagine Marvel would want to get their hands on DC property rights just so they can grind out some serviceable batman / superman / Wonder Woman movies. I mean there’s winning and there’s watching Floyd Mayweather beat the ever loving shit out of a child and it’s hard to root for a company that has the odds stacked so heavily in their favour. There’s no sport or competition to this rivalry anymore. Warner should follow Foxs lead with Spider-Man and just throw their hands up and walk away.

  • It’s that turd that just won’t flush.

  • caye74

    Sad thing is, they did not loose money on any turd they released so far

  • bleurgh

    That’s my though too. Everyone seems to think Ayers original vision would have been more coherent and likeable, but what if horror of horrors it was actually much worse? What if the trailer house editors actually produced the best possible end product with what they had? What if all the stuff they cut out really was infuriatingly terrible and worse than what we saw? Could they have made Batman Vs Superman into an average movie if they cut all the worst parts of it out? Or would it basically look like suicide squad? A messy movie with huge obvious gaping holes?

    Reviewing this movie is impossible because it’s like reviewing shoedringers cat.

  • Imperial_orb

    The thumpnails for the RLM discussions are always fucked on Disqus.

  • Its a big deal in the olympics .

  • Imperial_orb

    Ugh boy… yeah… a lot of people really wanted to see that movie. Even my freaking Sister… and stuff like that isn’t her thing at all. But I think one of the actors is also in a TV Show that she likes, and everyone likes and knows the Joker… Hey look even Big Willy is in this movie, and that chick seems like fun.

  • kuhpunkt

    Good one!

  • Civil War made $190 million in its first 5 days
    Suicide Squad made $161 million in its first 5 days.
    Winner : Suicide Squad ?

    #TrumpPence2016

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    And the thumbnails too.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    or that Jared Leto joined the Cuba Gooding, Jr. School of How to Waste Your Oscar Win by Starring in This DC Garbage.

  • caye74

    Winner of the first week in August 😀

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Was that child one of Trump’s kids? Then maybe the little shit deserved it and we should give Floyd Mayweather the Nobel Peace Prize or something.

  • yeah, Civil War only made $35,795 yesterday. Suicide Squad made over $14 million. DC is crushing Marvel !!

  • Imperial_orb

    oops.

  • Punanistorm

    At this point Cuba Gooding would kill to be in garbage like this.

  • Robotpals

    Heath Ledger raped Steve O in lockup. 9 months later, Jared Leto.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    “Hey look even Big Willy is in this movie, and that clown chick from the trailers seems fun.” My thoughts exactly.

  • bleurgh

    I don’t think Leto can be blamed for this crappy interpretation of the character. Whoever decided to turn the Joker into 50 cent is to blame. Leto did the best he could with what he was given.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    I wonder if at any point during the production, someone pointed out “Hey, does it feel weird how this film has three separate helicopter crashes in the space of about 20 minutes?” What is this, Black Knight Down?

  • I would have never known.

  • RLMkeepitup

    okay fine since you guys cleared up these things youtube will let you live, for now. Anyways, I’d nap during these comic movies too.

  • OMNI

    Not so fast. The Joker is a PUSSY, ie. someone who would never get a tattoo. I know the type and the Joker ain’t it, sure he’s not a coward (well not completely) he can throw down in a scrap (mostly) but no, the last thing on the Jokers mind would be the triviality of a tattoo, revenge is to sweet and all consuming for him.

    If Batman knocked his teeth out the justice system would replace them, but not with a ridiculous diamond “grill”.

  • OMNI

    Fuck the phone…

  • Hank_Henshaw

    She set the phone to vibrate… you know, so that no one would figure out she had a phone.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    In a movie about crazy super villains trying to save the world from some unspecified threat and which has a man in tights that can fricking fly, does it matter which cell phone plan she has? Is it unlimited talk & text or some kind of pre-pay thing? Do older supervillains have “Jitterbug” versions of their super evil cell phones?

  • Percy Gryce

    RLM’s mission is to ridicule CGI cartoons.

  • Percy Gryce

    For all my fellow Deep Space Niners out there, sad new today: Admiral Ross (played by the redoubtable Barry Jenner) passed away. A memorial service will be held on the Promenade at 1400 hours Station time. That is all.

  • OMNI

    Screw all of these comic book fucking movies

  • Cream-A-Thon

    What kind of cell phone was it? A flip phone or a candybar style one? The flip one could fit lots of places, specially if they can make it flexible in the movies universe. BTW – where do roaming fees start for them? When they go on the mission? Right after they get out of prison? Like, is there a kiosk right there for super villains getting paroled?

  • OMNI

    I don’t care. I’m just interested in where Harley stashed it…

  • Michael Collins

    Riding on the coat tails of the runaway success of the ghostbusters reboot, Warner Bros execs have greenlit an all female cast Oceans 11 to start production in the fall.
    What could possibly go wrong?

  • OMNI

    It remains to be scene

  • Michael Collins

    It could be they are envious of the most disliked trailer on youtube, and the buzz that received, and they think, “Let’s have some of that”

  • Michael Collins

    To absent friends..

    sips drink

  • Michael Collins

    Do not try and bend the phone. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.
    There is no phone!

  • OMNI

    R.I.P. Barry, tips fedora lovingly…

  • OMNI

    Only I phones bend…in your pocket…

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Don’t hold your breath.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I think it’s different, no reason for Disney to be panicked about anything Star Wars right now.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Can’t wait for RLM to review it in their “FUCK YOU IT’S ETERNITY!” video.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I hear you get more bars in there than anywhere else!

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I believe he said it was a drone army, but that kind of highlighted the misdirection of having his and the two others’ hundreds-years-old forms look like an alien race that would wear suits the same as that drone army (shape of the head is the same, etc.)

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I think you’re actually differentiating “racism” and “discrimination”, where discrimination is putting racism into action. I still think racism is bad, though.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Yeah, that’s true, it’s kind of the tail-end of summer. August isn’t the dumping ground of January but I’ve had the same feeling as you have about it for a few years now, that if a movie comes out in August it’s going to be maybe questionable, risky, whatever.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Maybe she just hid it in her clothes and the guard made sure no one searched her?

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I can’t wait to watch Season 3 of the Knick, when they get around to inventing penicillin, the polio vaccine, and heart transplants.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    It’s nacho time to tac.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    As a a fellow fatso, dress shirts are indeed more flattering to fat people than t-shirts.

  • Chuck Afterburner

    B5 or FO

  • Everything’sComingUpMillhouse

    I hope it does cause the death of the genre, or at least a minor stroke that slows it down for a while. I’m fucking sick of superhero/comic bookish movies.

    (‘Cept for Love & Rockets. I’d still like to see that movie.)

  • CM Chunk

    No justification needed. Just do it.

  • Imperial_orb

    There you go.

  • Imperial_orb

    I always thought of the Oceans movies as masturbation aid for women and gay men. It’s only fair Hetero Men get their own one. Hollywood don’t let me down on this one, just be uncreative as always and just cast all the characters of the first movie as women. I want two black women and two old women and a bunch of White chicks. And unlike all the other mean fucking Oceans fans out there, we’ll masturbate the hardest over that lil’ asian dude… I mean girl!

  • Imperial_orb

    Welcome to the Club.

  • tOmy`

    I think it was greenlit before Ghostbusters.

    From what I understand, Clooney is producing and Roberts will have the main gig. It should be connected to the previous movies.

  • Now I Get It

    All while perfecting the Golden Lotus.

  • tOmy`

    As long as its in her own goddamn movie finally, I am fine with that. Till then, we can all appreciate naked Jessica Jones.

  • tOmy`

    I get it, I was actually hyped for that movie more than for Civil War and from what I understand, I am one of those Marvel zombie shills paid off by Disney.

    ’twas also one of the first movies our “gang” decided to see in theater since Mad Max.

  • Imperial_orb

    The gang since disbanded.

  • tOmy`

    Critical, maybe. But as WB / their guns for hire claim: “We do it for the fans.”

    And boy oh boy, do the hardcore fans love it. The amount of dillusion amidst their ranks is staggering. They will call BvS “kino” because that’s how you call art movies these days, spend hours explaining to you how this is, indeed, a next revolution of cinema, while absolutely missing the obvious.

    YMS put it the best: “Film critics showed up to this movie to see a film. Not validate their obsession with a fucking action figure.”

    So with that in mind, we can pretty much see that WB is armed with one of the weirdest, die hard fanbase out there. And we are talking people, who will show up to this movie not once, but twice, three times, four times… you know, to beat the Marvel fanboys! To show critics that they are stoopid poopyheads! Because… Batman I guess.

    And if they really do it for them, then there is no need to stop. Fuck general audience, fuck critics, fuck moviemaking for that matter, they will just cynically exploit the vocal minority that simply pays to see DC succeed, without realizing it is just hurting their brand.

  • tOmy`

    I wonder how many more helicopter crashes they cut out. Possibly the good ones, because the ones we saw were no Ridley Scott, that’s for sure.

    (That was both an admiration of BHD and a joke about his post-Prometheus career.)

    I saw games with more realistic helicopter crashes, possibly including Minecraft. Oh no, oh no! The helicopter is slowly descending because it got hit by… who hit it, by the way? Who cares. Then it sorta plomps into ground and starts barrel rolling as if to underline the fact how unsurvivable it was. And when the bad CGI and dust settles, oh look! They are all alright! And Harley Quinn didn’t even rip her spine in half, so she will make a pun!

  • Punanistorm

    But men don’t want women who are capable and can take care of themselves? That’s a huge turn off.

  • Imperial_orb

    Mmm…back to the drawing board.

  • fred

    The first remake wasn’t even that good.

  • I have seen some Youtubers saying that they need to recruit their friend to get repeated viewings to makes sure this film is a success. Congrats guys-you want to reward them for making a bad movie because you are that desperate.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    The actor has input, too. He’s the one doing the performing. You can argue whether or not he was equipped for success, but his performance was still bad.

  • fred

    I discovered Earthling Cinema, which means I’m trapped on the internet for about…10 to 15 hours.

  • tOmy`

    Is this the real life? / Is this just fantasy?

    “The editing is universally criticized and was so fast that even i needed 5 minutes to adjust, and then it HIT me. The director tried to drive me mad, to get inside the character’s heads, who are mostly mentally unstable convicts. Genius!”

    “A few, universally spectacular flashbacks still occur, a few songs, outside of the well done score, still play but things get dark. That drove critics mad. A war movie about unwilling convicts being dark is a plus!”

    “Slipknot: Beach did the one thing the character was supposed to do right, ’nuff said.”

    Mama, I am about to kill a man / Or maybe put the gun against my head

  • dollar store cashier wife

    so what you’re saying it’s stylistically designed to be that way?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    But there are reports of extensive reshoots, and adding a co-director, and the original director having less control over the project. Or that’s what I’ve read.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    The only thing “universal” in this Sherriff’s town is the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “The thing is, Ocean’s Eleven was a big part of my childhood…”

  • fred

    We need another Micheal Mann movie with shooting and robbing and high stakes situations and to-the-point dialogue and innocent nobodys dying from gunshot wounds in the streets. I would watch that in a second…instead of Avengers 4: Thanos wants revenge…or something.

  • RiverDevil

    I guess Admiral Ross was kind of an asshole too, he got that nice romulan lady killed and/or imprisoned

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    We can always comfort ourselves with his classics. I can watch Manhunter everyday and still enjoy it.

  • instant relief

    Hi, comment zone!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    No, no we can’t. Her nipples are weirder looking than Mike’s.

  • Astro Zombie

    Why don’t you know these things? Don’t you guys read every comic book ever made? You have to read all the comic books. Read the comic books, then you would know these things because they’re important. You can’t not read comic books, because then you don’t know things… Comic books, guys. Geez, get with it already.

  • Astro Zombie

    Mama had a squishbox.

  • JAG

    Those re-shoots were already scheduled before they even did any shooting. They were just bumped up.

  • Bubs

    And don’t forget, if you want to know the WHOLE story, you have to collect the action figures… watch the cartoons… play the video games… eat the cereal… watch the movie$ in sequential order… watch the director interview$… get the extended cut$… get the….$.$.$.$.$….

  • Michael Collins

    So, Star Wars…am I right?

  • RLMkeepitup

    space hobos with lazer swordz

  • instant relief

    NO! No Star Wars talk here!

  • Michael Collins

    Can we mention Rogue One?

  • Michael Collins

    Have you seen the trailer?
    They don’t even have laser swords, proper space hobos..

  • instant relief

    NO! NO TOM CRUISE DISCUSSION EITHER!

  • tOmy`

    But how can you appreciate Civil War not sucking balls when you haven’t seen Ant-Man and Thor 2?!

  • tOmy`

    So yesterday I met the real life elusive fans of this movie. I wanted to turn this into a guessing game but you wouldn’t figure it out, so here it comes. The Suicide Squad is officially for:

    Three attractive young women on a binge drinking evening who have no idea about comic book movies, most likely spent the whole film snickering and who also like Harry Potter but “couldn’t make it through the movies.” Not knowing what the movie was actually about also helps, apparently.

  • tOmy`

    I like the movie.

  • Robotpals

    How about an all-female remake of Priscilla Queen of the Desert?

  • Robotpals

    Garibaldi just died. (He’s the guy who got turned into Odo when Paramount ripped off Staczynski’s pitch.) Service in the Zocalo. (That’s the thing that got changed to the Promenade when Paramount ripped off Straczynski’s pitch.)

  • Robotpals

    It was one helicopter crash that got chopped up during the film’s restructuring.

  • Robotpals

    I’m actually hopeful for the new Batfleck movie, even though there hasn’t been a good Batman movie since my theater lost the last reel of Batman Begins, and before that his name was Adam West. (Calm down. Dark Knight was a Joker movie.)

  • Percy Gryce

    Yeah, Mike was off about that, but then again he’s never really gotten DS9.

  • fred

    Still single huh.

  • fred

    The light thingys

  • fred

    Romulan Yale, illegal in Federation sectors.

  • stryker1121

    First they must watch all the anime.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That slightly warmed my cold, black heart.

    Percy “Smooth Talker” Gryce

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Did you get their numbers?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Trailer was legit. Hope it’s good. I was disappointed by Godzilla and TFA, though.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This comment was a better read than most comic books.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Hi, I.R.!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Where are these trash opinions from?

  • instant relief

    FYI my last name is Baboon!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wait … NAKED Jessica Jones?

    I’m going to do a Google search. For science, of course.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This made me smile.
    It also made me erect.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Did somebody say Taco?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Why did I burst out laughing at this of all things?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    *All the alien ships blow up*

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What? When was this? Details.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    My last name is Nash!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Does he come ’round these parts much still? I don’t know since I don’t come ’round these parts as much as I should.

  • instant relief

    Far out, bra!

  • That guy is basically space Zatoichi.

  • Firsty Lasty

    Aint dead yet.

  • Captain Hackfraud

    Sorry, I couldn’t make it. Had to run errands for that old geezer Jellico.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    Speaking of shitty movies … I just watched “71”. What a pile of shit. Can’t just be a straightforward tale about ‘the troubles’. No, has to try to be a convoluted story about A controlling B and doublecrossing C while B doublecrosses A and controls B! Pile of shit. But of course it won a million awards because people are stupid.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    You mean Star Franchise with Girl Empowerment? Fuck that shit.

  • Clownbomb

    THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

  • Also, what happened to the mouse?

  • I honestly can’t tell if this is true or you’re just joking.

    Damn you and your Law, Poe!!

  • “Ocean’s Angels.”

  • Ugh god dammit, NOT EVERY FRANCHISE NEEDS A CINEMATIC UNIVERSE. Argh!

  • Kyle Wagner

    HaHaHaHa. Love you guys!

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Would he use a knife? He is taking a stab at TV work these days.

  • RiverboatGrambler

    Daaawww, triggered by strong female characters in your Star Wars moopies?

  • jhonny_appleseed

    Nope, just don’t like social justice masquerading as entertainment.

  • Yeah, I wondered how you guys missed the phone thing the first time around. Not that it was a great movie, but there was a connection with that scene with Joker and the guard.

    I still would rather see Suicide Squad again than Batman vs Superman, and by a long shot. I’m with Mike, I couldn’t hate the movie, I just felt sad for it since there was probably a better cut of it somewhere.

  • Joe

    They could’ve asked the guard, he looked like he might know something about comic books.

  • Joe

    My name is Schwartz.

  • Joe

    Who doesn’t love Sammy Davis Jr. and Matt Damon?

  • Joe

    It’s so damn weird to picture the Joker (even Leto’s) texting.

    Would his grammar be that good? Wouldn’t he go overboard with emojis?

  • Imaf

    himm himm?

  • bt

    “I didn’t hate Suicide Squad, I was just very, very disappointed” – Greg Grunberg

  • bt

    So making a female character that actually has Character is Social Justice to you? You’re just pissed you’re a fat single nerd thats mad you can’t call women “Sugar Tits” anymore.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    Yep. You understand me perfectly. Now go make me a sandwich, sugar tits.

  • Jim

    Punching someone in the face is a valid tactic for rescue swimmers; it can subdue a panicked swimmer otherwise likely to drag the rescuer down.

  • willnfs

    This movie probably thought the movie goers would make the connection between falling in a vat of white chemicals and Harley’s skin turning white. Someone has probably pointed this out, but in the 89 version of Batman the Joker falls in the vat of white stuff and turns white. His face is disfigured in another way.

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