The Nerd Crew: A Pop Culture Podcast with Red Letter Media

January 5, 2017632 Comments

Join media, pop culture, nerd culture, and geek culture experts Mike Stoklasa, Jay Bauman, and Rich Evans as they discuss the new movie Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Filed in: Short Films

  • Eggsalad007

    An hour long podcast would be awesome.

  • Adez

    Nice spoof of gentrification of nerd pop culture, and hopefully a take that to Harry Knowles, that coporate manwhore

  • Surface Reflection

    Looks at the three stooges with dead expression on his face.
    A finger slightly tapping over the mouse.

  • rikkibarnes

    Rich’s introduction is perfection.

  • Tom Slothvo

    cue the angry fanboi comments!

  • Tom Slothvo

    Advertisements continue after comments

  • Omis

    Why? I only watched a bit of this but it seems like they are making fun of nerd YouTube shows like collider.

  • Mario

    This podcast totally belongs on a VHS tape labelled “Night Court” and looped into the Half in the Bag canon.

  • rikkibarnes

    Those dudes have fans, though. Many of them rabid.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What the hell? I can’t believe they sold out like this! >:(

  • Adam Baldwin

    This was great. I look forward to more of this crap.

  • HorseyFace

    It was a very fun, fantastically fun, gritty, dreary war movie. People just don’t get it.

  • Tom Slothvo

    It was very fun AND fantastically fun?!
    That’s a fun overload!

  • Alex Doucet

    I completely agree. Rogue One is a timeless classic with a stand alone story filled with real human characters. I am so glad they did the re-shoots, it really made the story make much more sense. It’s a shame that Irvin Kershner didn’t have a studio come in and completely dictate the creation of The Empire Strikes Back. I am so glad I have internet critics like Rotten Tomatoes to form my opinions for me. * drools

  • Look out Rich Evans! That Star Wars™ Tiefighter™ is about to crash into your head!

  • bmcelvan .

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO A NERD CREW episode of the 2016 Ghostbusters!!!!

  • Jones

    I’m glad you guys came around.
    Me, personally, I loved this movie too. Nicely done action scenes and so much to look at it was awesome. Can’t wait for Rogue 2 which personally I think will be better but I too will give it a lower score.
    Thanks guys. I personally love you guys more now that you love what I love. Group hug?

  • caye74

    Can I insert animated gif with Orson Welles clapping? Well, duh, I can not not, but this was bloody perfect

  • Lute Hende

    Original Star Wars was more than just the movie. It was a phenomenon. After a depressing period with depressing movies it brought back fun and took the audience on a fantastic, mind blowing journey. It was like a parallel universe you couldn’t wait to be there again. I think it’s impossible to recreate that today. To remake Star Wars today. Because it will miss the phenomenon. The cultural impact it had that Star Wars largely was, aswell. Today Star Wars movies are just “movies”.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Now I’m picturing the next stand alone Star Wars movie as just Darth Vader stalking the teens at Camp Crystal Lake.

  • Joelist

    I loved it! Especially how Mike, Rich and Jay played it 100% straight and serious right up to the very last minute, when they finally had to laugh.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Big ol’ check came in the mail.

    Now they can work on Space Cop II.

  • dirtside

    Man, they are *really* committing to their opinion about Rogue One.

  • nametaken

    Rogue One talk is replacing BoTW i was right!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I guess it’s ironic that this video, when taken out of context, loses most of it’s meaning. RLM should tag their videos so the popcorn eating masses can “get” it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    their sarcasm is bending back on itself, forming a circle. or ring if you will

  • HorseyFace

    Me personally, it was the funnest gritty war drama I’ve ever seen.

  • Angela

    Yay. More Rogue One commentary.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Disappointed to find this is not a real podcast, but yet another unnecessary reboot of the Rogue One review!

  • Judge Frownyface

    I’d rather watch “Force 10 From Navarone” for the umpteenth time. What a classic.

  • Tom Slothvo

    So you think war is fun?

  • Tom Slothvo

    God I hope not.
    Best of the Worst is the number one show-program within the sloth community.

  • Mark Bisone

    I was a loyal customer of Nerd Box until they started sending me a bunch of Marvelite fanboy crap. Now I subscribe to Dork Dumpster – a garbage collection service that comes once a month to dispose of all my Nerd Boxes, Geek Crates and the corpses of my elderly victims.

    Thanks, Dork Dumpster!

  • JackDeth

    This comment would make sense if a web video were in any way comparable to a $200 million blockbuster movie.

  • Harry_Jamieson

    That was fantastic satire, with a lot of very well observed moments from NERD CULTURE Youtubers. Lost it at the end when Rich Evans corpsed at Nerd Box.

    I only wish I could join in the witchhunt, but I can’t, I liked Rogue One! Admittedly I still need to see if it stands up to a 2nd viewing.

  • JackDeth

    Yeah, what’s wrong with them? Why don’t they change their opinions so I can feel validated? What a bunch of assholes!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Stahp making credible points!

  • JackDeth

    They’re also making fun of the thin-skinned nerds who can’t stand to have someone disagree with them about the stupid nerd shit they like.

  • Galactic Shawn

    Hello Red Letter Media, long time listener, first time caller. I want to start off by saying that I can only describe Rogue One as a Christ like figure that the entire world can learn from and cherish.
    My question though is about Empire Strikes Back. During the film, Boba Fett converses with Darth Vader about finding the rebels and the capture of Han Solo. Did Boba Fett know that Darth Vader was one of the opposing Jedi during the battle that decapitated his father right in front of him or did Boba Fett not care at this point? Boba Fett does prove that he is resourceful enough to find what he is looking for as a skilled bounty hunter and I’m sure finding his dead father’s killers was on the top of his list of things he could accomplish.
    Let’s hope Disney is listening so they can make this film happen *fingers crossed*

  • Bart Crowe

    It’d be cool if you guys did a real podcast but I don’t know where you guys would find the time with all the great content you already put out.

  • Zippo

    Yeah. TFA still sucks monkeyballs.

  • Jerome Gorden

    Ok, I laughed a lot of times. This is the kind of parody that makes RLM so great.

  • Bubs

    Yep. Fucking this.

  • le miseur

    And once again, RLM reminds us all why they’re the best thing in like fifty or a hundred thousand years. Everyone else of those wannabe clown shows (you know all the ones I mean) are so bought.

    Good on ya, gents!

  • Gavin Callaghan

    I love how Rich Evans holds the laugh in till the very end—–

  • fred

    This is why people love rlm.

  • fred

    They really hate this movie. I can feel it. It makes them stronger. Gives them focus.

  • Prescription Nass

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSS! But in a 9/11:y way!

    A+

  • Bubs

    So I tried to subscribe to Geek Crate just like you guys said but I accidentally subscribed to Greek Crate. They’re going to be sending me boxes of Feta cheese and Gyros each month. As soon as I realized my mistake I tried calling their support center, but the guy who answered – Miklos Stephanopoulos – was unable to help me. I tried telling him that I didn’t want any gyros and really only wanted his help further inserting more Darth Vaders into my brain. I guess I’m going to be eating a lot more Baklava from now on…

  • fred

    Know where I could -uh- score some oxy?

  • Prescription Nass

    The action and the vistas ….. huh what?

  • Mark Bisone

    Can’t he stalk them on a Death Star? That’s something I can easily recognize.

  • luvs2pwge✓Bushwhacker

    not a parody ortard

  • fred

    AT ST AT ST I’M GONNA COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO–

  • frankelee

    Whaaaaaaat?!?!?! You can’t say Rogue One was no good, somebody on Earth liked it. You’re invalidating their feelings by having opinions of your own based on your own experiences, cognitions, and tastes. Now they can’t even like Rogue One because you said it wasn’t good, and until you admit you’re wrong you’ve invalidated their feelings, and indeed their very humanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • primitive screwhead

    Jesus Christ we get it. You think Star Wars movies should be made a certain way and don’t like that other people liked it. Get the fuck over yourselves.

  • Mark Bisone

    Me, personally, I loved the way Rogue One exploded my preconceived notions of effective storytelling, just like the X-Wings exploded the Death Globes. Audiences aren’t supposed to care about the people in movies, or about other people in general. They are all merely objects of momentary distraction, spinning through the void of a meaningless universe. Like asteroids, some will hit and others will miss. But their paths are inconsequential to the inevitable climax of reality’s own narrative, in which the Big Bang’s velocity finally reverses, contracting the galaxies until all memory of light and hope is destroyed forever.

    Also, I loved it when whatshisname shot a Stormtrooper in the head, and when they blew up that sand castle, and when the robot said something about math. What a funny robot!

  • JackDeth

    Grow up.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Love the sick burn of Loot Crate. hee hee

    I also would like to see a real podcast.

  • sepiajack

    Then why do so many people continue to discover and love it decades later? If it was just the context of when it was released than that wouldn’t happen – it would just a flash in the pan like Avatar.

  • sepiajack

    Do you think in the future, after society collapses that geek followings of Marvel vs DC, Star Wars, etc will become the new religions? I feel like after seeing some of the comments people make defending Rogue One or B v S or whatever that I can just imagine the same people running some sort of Spanish Inquisition for all the blasphemers.

  • Bhazor

    But it had action scene. You can’t hate a film when it has action scene in it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Ah. But of course. I’m sure it will be a genuine work of inspiration, just like the first one,

  • Jonah Falcon

    You’ve get more out of your $69.99 with souvlaki than little nerd toys.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Strike the film down with all of your hatred…

  • Jonah Falcon

    But it’s WATCHABLE.

  • porcupinetears

    Quite brilliant.

  • Jonah Falcon

    You’re allowed to like Rogue One. What RLM doesn’t like it single-minded borderline autistic nerdgasming.

  • Billy Ray

    the toppist of all keks nationwide! bravo!

  • Ret Marut

    Once again Mr. Evans (PhD?) nails it. As Dr. Evans notes: “It’s a better film than Empire [Strikes Back] because it’s darker. And because this film is darker, that means it’s more important.” Well said Professor Evans, well said.

  • evilswa

    Did you guys see angry joe and collider over there on the youtube video trying to laugh it off like they aren’t part of the crew being called out.

  • david dallas

    As someone who enjoyed Rogue One a lot, this video had me laughing to the point of tears. Well done guys!

  • evilswa

    I CLAPPED WHEN DARTH VADER SHOWED UP!!!!!

  • evilswa

    That’s clearly not what they’re calling out you little baby. Maybe if you could come up with reasons OTHER THAN the ones in this video why you liked it and you expressed them clearly you’d get a more mature reaction than this PARODY show offers you…..

  • spynet315

    For a movie they didn’t seem to like, they sure are making a lot of videos about Rogue One…

  • playdude92 .

    Gooood. Gooooood. I can feel your… contempt.

    On the other hand I felt really validated, when Mike took a sip out of the same empire cup I own, so go figure..

  • david dallas

    Where did you see that?

  • david dallas

    Never mind, found it. FUNNY!

  • Godbot

    FINALLY some critics with INTEGRITY

  • victorinus

    Anyone know what this is meant to be a parody of? Is it of any podcast in particular?

  • Magnus Ironfist

    Did you know that people can see when you like your own comment?

  • Troll Prince The White

    Adult Swim time…

  • Pop Culture Reference

    YOUNG ANAKIN SKYWALKER: Now that’s what I call podcasting! Woo hooo!!!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Where?

  • thisisnotaninternetmeme

    Redlettermedia: Irony: Origins

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I’m a practicing Jedi.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Curated! Amazing! Whaaaaaaaaaat???”
    **hit by lightning, incinerated**

  • Baz theWise

    So in all my wisdom I went to buy the domain geekcrate (dot) com so that I could opportunistically spread my influence and wisdom in the form of animated gif. However, upon navigating to the url, I was redirected to geekcrate (dot) in which appears to be some type of service similar to the parody intended, with a target market that appears to be humans from or located in India. Anyway, I’m sure they appreciate the free marketing, although I’ve suspected that Redlettermedia has been protecting its interest in the Indian market for some time now, so this doesn’t come as a suprise. In any case, congratulations on the new series; I feel that humans really need this caliber of bravery and sincerity especially in this new age we’ve just entered into. Whenever you guys want to have me on as a guest, let me know, I’ll just need roughly three years notice. Wizards experience time a bit differently than humans.

  • masta182

    man I love red letter media.

    ps: buy lootcrates.

  • Omis

    I’m guessing Collider Jedi Council.

  • Magnus Ironfist

    Well… after the disappointment of Rogue One, I can’t wait for the Han Solo spin off which will be even betterer than Empire. They’ll get to reiterate everything we know about the character… Like the reason he got into debt with Jabba or how he won the keys to the Millennium Falcon at a poker game from Lando Calrissian. This backstory is really important to the lore of the Star Wars universe which must be explored and totally warrants a two hour standalone film that costs $200 million to make as opposed to a few lines of character-building dialogue from the original trilogy………………………

  • Troll Prince The White

    The hand gestures are perfect…

  • JackDeth

    Yeah, it’s almost as if Rogue One is the most popular movie in the world right now and people want to talk about it. Weird.

  • Mark Bisone

    They’ll show how he made the Kessler Run in 12 parsecs! And then I’ll cum rainbows!!!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “You may fire when ready.”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “You may fire when ready.”
    **nerdgasm**

  • spynet315

    Ok, how many videos did they make about Episode 7?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Save us!” — Harry Knowles’s knees.

  • Mark Bisone

    THAT’S A LINE OF DIALOGUE I RECOGNIZE!

    I hope Grandma Tarkin’s estate rep lets him say it in the next standalone movie.

  • Dustin Scarsdale

    Are you guys parodying Kevin Smith’s Fatman on Batman show or something? Because it seems like you really are.

    Did I win?

  • Archfriend

    Please guys make this a new series

  • Archfriend

    Personally, I still loved Rogue One.

  • maikimo

    jar-jargon.

  • Archfriend

    It could just as easily apply to Ghostbusters 3 or Batman v Superman.

  • Archfriend

    The Force Awakens did it just fine.

  • JackDeth

    At least two or three. Call me crazy, but it’s almost like they want to make money by delivering content that people are interested in viewing.

  • spynet315

    ok

  • JackDeth

    Turns out I was wrong. They actually did 5 videos about Force Awakens. So go to bed.

  • This could be one of those fighting video games – Marvel vs DC vs Star Wars. I can’t wait to play CG Grandmuhfuckin Tarkin

  • Spoiled Ants

    If Rogue One is Saving Private Ryan for SW, than ‘Han Solo – A Star Wars Orgy’ will be the American Pie to bring back balance to the tone. It’s gonna be worth it when we watch Han barging in while Chewie’s parents are having sex. We all know who’s gonna shoot first in this one. “It’s gonna be a blast – for the whole family” – introducing 4D cinema with jizz spraying from the ceiling.

  • spynet315

    You seem like you need a hug or a friend. You will find neither by acting like a child.

  • JackDeth

    Hahaha, dude you got burned. It happens. Don’t pout about it.

  • spynet315

    Hmm I don’t think so. You’re the one who actually took time to go back and count the number of videos RLM made on episode 7 based on a bunch of sarcastic remarks you made online… that’s so sad 🙁

  • spynet315

    So did I, but I still wish it had better characters. If it had a really good emotional story, this movie would have been amazing. It could have also done without the “hey! Remember this!?” stuff.

  • Don’t worry everyone, I’m sure they’ll cool off on the Rogue One videos. Just look at that comment count! It’s starting to look like one of their non-Star Wars videos now! Fingers crossed for a Fuck You It’s January episode next.

  • Spoiled Ants

    According to Call of Doodie.

  • Spoiled Ants

    I will start praying to Black Baby Jesus that it will take ’em 12 years to make.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Grandpa Tarkin will be the Mr Wilson in Dennis – The Phantom Menace.
    “Haaaaaaaaaaannn!”

  • JackDeth

    ↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑
    So much butthurt.

  • Slothrop T. Slothington

    Is that some kind of poop joke?

  • spynet315

    ok ok ok, I’ll go out with you. You didn’t have to try so hard.

  • Nerd Dweebus

    Keep posting Rogue One stuff I personally can’t get enough of it. I just blindly watch whatever you put out without caring about quality.
    Although seriously this is really good, I enjoyed it since I listen to a lot of podcasts.

  • Captain Turbo

    Just like herpes. Wait, people do get herpes so strike that. They just don’t post their comments online.

  • Captain Turbo

    Best podcast since Joe Rogan interviewed Jeffrey Dahmer!

  • Captain Turbo

    Yes, you win two shiny new internets!

  • Captain Turbo

    I see what you did there.

  • Captain Turbo

    60 Minutes

  • Captain Turbo

    After society collapses geeks will be hunted for sport.

  • JackDeth

    You have a lot to learn about trolling.

  • Captain Turbo

    Mark Bisone, you magnificent bastard, I read your comments!

  • Captain Turbo

    It’s only because other people are stupid.

  • spynet315

    Tell me what your real problem is. You obviously are having issues unrelated to RLM that you are dying to get out. Talk to me. Let me in…

  • Darkling

    Speaking for myself, personally, I don’t know how Jay managed to keep a straight face for almost fifteen minutes of the podcast. I loved his performance – loved it – and speaking for myself, personally, I would give his performance an 11 out of 10. Personally.

  • milky_cereal

    Is this replacing GameStation 2.0?

  • Darkling

    Mike and Rich were on the verge of slipping a couple of times during the video. I would not want to play poker against Jay, though.

  • Mark Bisone

    Captain Turbo, you anonymous fuck, I can’t read any of your comments!

  • The Living Jaws

    Just can’t get enough of these R1 videozzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • IamSithAzagoth

    And with Disney’s special Tarkin CGI technology, they can make 75yr old Harrison Ford look like he’s 20!

  • spynet315

    Yea dude! Grow up! Listen to this guy! Someone who trolls internet comments knows all about acting like an adult…

  • Pop Culture Reference

    It’s like listening to an episode of Collider, except I want to laugh instead of wanting to kill myself.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    This parody had action and vistas, something we can all relate to, because we’re part of geek culture and nerd culture. Also, I want thank DorkBox, the sponsor of this post.

  • Omis

    Can we have one more R1 video talking about how stupid it was for Mama Erso to leave Jyn in the bushes while she went off to get shot? Were they trying to one up the Home Alone mother as the worst movie mom?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The explainy portions really made the battle scenes though.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    In unrelated news, Kevin Smith ate all the pizza rolls in this webzone.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “You may fire when r—”
    **gets beaten to death by angry mob**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Kids don’t need hugs?

  • Omis

    But practical effect Jabba the Hutt will look AMAZING. (-Fanboi squeal-)

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I guess the theater knew the sound of one hand clapping.

  • spynet315

    Lol. Also, the battle scenes needed better music to help punctuate the action, I thought. If you’re going to make action schlock, that’s fine, but go all the way!

  • spynet315

    Not from strange, grown men

  • MichaelKz

    Disney made a movie out of what was supposed to be a comic book mini-series from Marvel prior to their release of the non-Special Edition, original Star Wars trilogy Blu-Ray set.

  • MichaelKz

    And really, wasn’t it more fun to make fun of the illogical nature of the exhaust port than to now have a reason of why it’s there?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Rogue One was awesome, bro. What do you know?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Batman v Superman was still terrible.

  • Animated GIF of Jay saying “Grand Moff Tarkin!”
    gph (DOT) is (BACKSLASH) 2jacD9J

  • RLMkeepitup

    first time the comments here made me laugh more than the video

  • My real question I never bothered to ask is why an exhaust port is sucking lasers in, when it should be blowing out exhaust? It’s better not to think about these things too hard.

  • Bruce

    When my sister came over after seeing the film I asked her if she liked it, fully expecting her to say no. She said she liked it and then said it was a “war film” and I wanted to kick her out of the house. Her husband thought the movie was trash and fell asleep for most of the movie. I asked her to name Jyn’s companions. She could not name any. She could not even say she liked any of the protagonists or heroes. Disney has got brainwashing through all their media corporations down to an art form. It is downright scary.

  • Lord_Nose

    and commentary on “Geek Culture” and bullshit movie reviewers

  • Mark Bisone

    Here’s an experiment: Ask her what other “war films” she likes.

    Here’s another experiment: Submerge a lobster and a teacup pig in a jar of acetone, and see which one dies first.

  • doctorr

    I have to say. I personally loved this satirical review from The Nerd Crew. It was biting and witty and just snarky enough to make me feel smarter than people who don’t share my disappointment regarding this latest installment of the brilliant franchise about space wizards and laser swords that I love so well. But at the same time, reserved enough to fall just short of making feel like the pretentious asshole that deep down I know I am. I give it a 9 out of 10.

  • Mark Bisone

    Me personally, I give this review of the review of the review a 20 out of 10, because making feel and swords.

  • Lord_Nose

    Didn’t you hear Rich: “it won’t be forgotten for the next 50 or 100 thousand years.” Of course, it will stand up to a second viewing!

  • Lord_Nose

    I’m downvoting you for not upvoting your own comment!

  • MichaelKz

    I’m beginning to hate that description of Rogue One. (I have not seen the movie, maybe on home video.) To me calling Rogue One a “war film” implies that the movie started all of this nonsense is of no consequence. Calling Rogue One a “war film” devalues A New Hope and the rest of the original trilogy. It’s like, “yeah, that Star Wars is a fluff piece. No one knows how it really was.”

  • Slothrop T. Slothington

    Home video?
    You mean like VHS?
    I doubt Disney will be releasing Sars Wars Episode 7.5 in that format.

  • SwimmingInOlives

    The only appropriate response to this is the clapping gif from Citizen Kane.

  • MichaelKz

    Given the existence of DVD, Blu-Ray, Digital and Streaming, I think “home video” is even more appropriate in this day and age than it was in the past.

  • Slothrop T. Slothington

    Even more appropriate than when we were watching stuffs on videotape?
    Surely you jest!

  • Angela

    Don’t get me wrong, I liked this, but I really need more George Lucas unboxing salad videos and I fear that’s never going to happen.

  • Angela

    It took a second viewing to notice that TIE Fighter bouncing off Rich’s head. Little details like that are what keep me coming back to RLM.

  • Angela

    13/10 They’re good movies, Brent.

  • cruiserweight

    Stop making Rich Evans say nasty things about himself! Is he not human too? Almost?

  • Malevolence

    They saw how much hatred was spewed for their Rogue One hitb review and they’re cleverly capitalizing on it. Nice job stirring that viewership pot guys :thumbs up:

  • Percy Gryce

    Theodore’s Judson’s The Martian General’s Daughter, which is a future history of a neo-Roman-Imperial world, features cults of El Bis and the goddess Marilyn. The 2002 post-apocalyptic dragon film Reign of Fire featured a dramatic reenactment of the Vader-Luke fight from Empire, performed as if it were an original mythical tale.

  • Infernal Dude

    Love it. Rich constantly hitting his head on the tie fighter toy made my night.

  • DasKleineTeilchen

    truly, you are all wrong. pixels is the only film which captures the nerdyness of the geekComunity appropriate and as a whole in all its glory. R1 comes close, but not enough.

  • Ernest Aquilio

    This is a big middle finger to those who know its a big middle finger to. Love it!

  • DasKleineTeilchen

    its gonna be great!

  • Showbiz Pizza Bear

    You’ll be on the edge of your seat when they make a movie all about Lando’s little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab.

  • DasKleineTeilchen

    but its so dense! every single wrinkle has so much goin on in it!

  • Animated GIF of Mike saying, “It broke new ground!”
    gph (DOT) is (BACKSLASH) 2iKHdYv

  • Animated GIF of Rich Evans saying, “Star Destroyers! I’m gonna cum!!!”
    gph (DOT) is (BACKSLASH) 2iKAi1B

  • DasKleineTeilchen

    rich evans laughter is my command to cum. works every time.

  • Jaws in Space

    It’s good to have contempt for your audience.

  • Jaws in Space

    You just wanna see old people having sex, be honest.

  • Jaws in Space

    And then he shat it all out in the form of his new movie, whatever it was, nobody knows, or cares.

  • Jaws in Space

    So did TFA, but hey, everybody knew that already.

  • Jaws in Space

    Yeah, right, you left it all over the floor, I almost slipped over it, would you mind cleaning up afterwards.

  • DasKleineTeilchen

    my apologies. I could, but in the end, its useless; as I said: works *every* time and rich laughs a lot.

  • FanComment213

    My memory of the prequels is hazy but wasnt django fett killed by windu, who was later killed by anakin? Seems like it would increase bobbas loyalty if anything.

  • doctorr

    Good ole fashioned trolling.

  • “…and Rich Evans induced involuntary Onanism, Father. Several times. Well, fifteen times. In the last week.”

  • Jaws in Space

    I think he’s referring to Cris Stockman and Jermy Jannns… which, in that case, is well played sir.

  • Jaws in Space

    Ya know in the thumbnail they look like barbershop singers, I thought this video would be them doin show tunes. Way to not live up to my expectations yet again RLM….

  • Bleurgh

    Well you can say the same thing about the ‘clone wars’. Really there was no point making anymore star wars movies past the original series.

  • Nerd Culture jumped the shark with WarGames.

  • jmt

    Movies that are dark and depressing reflect the human condition.

    Also slow-fast-slow motion action scenes reflect the human condition.

    And TIE fighters.

  • Bleurgh

    A friend of mine attacked me and doesn’t speak to me anymore based on the fact that I said the Hangover 3 was tonally confused and not funny.

  • The human condition? AAAAIIIIIIIDDDDDDS!
    I mean AIDS.

  • it’s NEW CONTEMPT! for NEW CONTENT about how Rogue One is so good it’s kinda really flawed I give it an eight out of ten.

  • Too clever by half; eat a bag a dicks. Don’t worry, you have no taste anyways.

  • Many women presume masculine bullshit must have some deep meaning.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Circles within circles.

  • Joe Syxpac

    How ’bout the Forest Moon of Endor?

  • Galactic Shawn

    Yes it would and I see where you’re going with this. A Bobba- Vader buddy cop film but with a jedi killing rampage. Imagine Bobba Fett taking off his helmet and it’s Nicolas fucking Cage!

  • Zippo

    It really wasn’t.

  • Spoiled Ants

    I know that Darth Vader’s robot loin cloth that protects his family jewels was built by Mar-Qui-d’Saad. And it’s giving him great pain/pleasure since it’s intentionally three sizes too small.

  • Spoiled Ants

    It will never look as good as Pizza-The-Hutt.

  • Siggy

    I am suprised that you frauds have not yet taken a jab on the Disney writers, and their goal to portray Empire as a white supremacist organisation led by old white men… You have mentioned the forced diversity in the past (we love Chinese and urban market!), but not that as for yet. Haven’t you heard about those tweets?

    On November 11, 2016, Rogue One writer Chris Weitz tweeted: “Please note that the Empire is a white supremacist (human) organization.” He later deleted that tweet after receiving lots of complaints from other Twitter users, many of whom asked him to stop “injecting politics” into Star Wars. Weitz clarified in one response tweet, “My apologies. You have a right to enjoy it as you wish; and I don’t wish to harm my colleagues’ work either.”
    Weitz’ colleague, Gary Whitta, had already written his own response to the tweet comparing the Star Wars Empire to white supremacy, which said: “Opposed by a multicultural group led by brave women.” Whitta’s tweet has also since been deleted.

  • Vidofnir

    I loved it too, because it had darth vader
    fuck yeha… i get excited just thinking about it now..bzzzzm… fucking lightsabers and force, fucking shit up…
    Oh man… i need to go watch it again, those parts with Darth Vader was soo cool

  • Vidofnir

    Next they should make a movie about Darth Vader`s mom, shmi skywalker
    We need a grindhouse exploitation Star Wars movie,

    That show us what happened after Anakin left, who was the guy she was sold as a sex slave to?

    How did she get kidnapped and gang raped to death by a village of Tusken Raider?

  • Wicked Child

    “Thank you for your service and all that BULLSHIT…”

    *pause*

    *cut to Rich Evans’ face*

    *hold pause for like 5 seconds*

    This is why I come to RLM.

  • Mike wears the cowed expression of a man who recalls being bundled into his school locker by a quarterback named Chad, and who fears, at any moment, Chad may reappear, bundle him into his own geek crate, and then mail him to a fellow nerd.

    Me personally, I watched this nerdcast through my cardboard Death Star trench standee which created an interesting vista effect.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Charles Bronson as Young Anakin Skywalker or nothing.

  • A Star Wars version of The Accused, with a holo-chess board replacing the pinball machine.

  • Black Santa

    Is this replacing Fuck You it’s January?

  • Vidofnir

    Hmmm…. a CGI Charles Bronson as Anakin Skywalker
    Getting payback for his mothers rape and murder at the hands of sandpeople, thats kinda like a Deathwish movie, it rhymes

  • Black Santa

    So I tried to subscribe to Greek Crate just like you guys said but I accidentally subscribed to Greek Bate. They’re going to be sending me boxes of Greek porn and olive-oil masturbatory lubricant each month. As soon as I realized my mistake I tried calling their support center, but the guy who answered – Miklos Stiffypenis – was unable to help me. I tried telling him that I didn’t want any bearded dildos and really only wanted his help further inserting more feta and potato salad into my mouth. I guess I’m going to be appreciating a lot more sodomy from now on…

  • Welcome Back Otter

    I personally, speaking for me, also loved it.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Why not? Scientology’s basically a religion based on a sci-fi novel.

  • Kawaii as Fuck

    Woman you want me, give me a sign, you’ll catch my breathing even closer behind…

    Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo….

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Meh, there have been plenty of mature, reasonable arguments given by commenters here as to why they disagreed with the RLM take. RLM’s responses have focused on the childish fan boy anger in YouTube comments. Case in point – I don’t recall any comments here on RLM’s site arguing Rogue One was good because “it’s dark”.

  • David Kerry

    The best way to talk about anything on this millennial world, is just wrote a bunch of nonsense.

    I do not know what is Star Wars, but I personally love this video, allowing me to talk about the return of Star Wars as the king of popcorn culture.

    If rape culture, thug demographics, become part of Star Wars, everyone on the planet deserve a lightsaber in the ass, to understand who is Darth Vader, the myth behind the “nooooooo.”

    Because I am a millennial, like Liberalism, donating AIDS to save humanity.

  • Spoiled Ants

    They all serve under the same God, which is consumption.
    Now buy my motherflippin’ Crate Box you sheeple!

  • awesome video. I, personally, loved it

  • Well for me, if I can just say, personally, I loved your review of the review of the review of the review of the review and rate it a Banana out of 10 because the sense of vistas and action you exude in your dark writing really just sums up how great everything is in life and I am now so happy I will be ascending in to jedi heaven to be with my beloved obi wan. What people don’t understand about the reviews of reviews is they’re not supposed to be enjoyed but rather they should feel like a spear headed suppository of putrid filth entering you.

  • Allen Boxer

    So I tried to subscribe to Greek Bate like you said, but I accidentally ended up signing up for Grease Tape. Now I receive monthly VHS copies of Danny Zuko and Sandy Olson singing and dancing to classic 70’s interpretations of 50’s culture. I enjoyed that first tape a lot, but it has been a few months now and the tapes are starting to pile up. Plus, my VCR recently broke due to an unrelated sexual mishap, so I’m stuck with an ever-growing stack of the same, unwatchable American film musical and I’m pretty unhappy.

    Still beats Loot Crate, though. Fuck those guys.

  • RLMkeepitup

    guess they really do have an agenda, beyond ruling the galaxy. I mean disney, not the empire, sorry

  • Garym

    Don’t forget the vistas. The magical and grand vistas ……

  • That other guy

    I think this was going for satire, but it comes off like sarcastically beating a dead horse after a Half In the Bag and two Plinkett videos about the same movie.

  • david dallas

    I saw this more as a satire about those stupid pop culture podcasts than another attack on Rogue One (we get it now, they didn’t like the movie!).

    I like the one sarcastic line by Mike saying that he thinks TFA sucks now. Nice nod to the commenters hear!

  • Lute Hende

    Really? When? where? People payed much money yes, but they are not sitting at home thinking and dreaming about this movie. You didn’t understood what I meant. The phenomenon is over. Just another movie, will not change that.

  • Lute Hende

    Afterglow of the classic Star Wars movies. It’s the same fire just on another torch. But thats not enough. To become a phenomenon like the classic movies a new one had to ignite a new flame. But I don’t see that. Nobody “normal” (lets forget the fanboys) was blown from their chair by FA. New Star Wars movies will always lack the impact of the classics. And Star Wars without such an impact is not Star Wars. And watching the recent reviews here I think Mike, Jay and Rich reached the same conclusion. That there will never be a second “A new Hope”. A second Star Wars revolution. They wouldn’t say it that drastical because fanbase but there is much less fire into them than it was back when it was about the prequels.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Stealing Fuck You it’s January from Jesus.

    It’s a damn corporate holiday now!

  • Bleurgh

    They’re Space Nazis you dumbass, of course they’re white supremacists.

  • Brian Levine

    Awesome, but shame on you for feeling the need to break character at the end.

  • Brian Levine

    Yeah, but they speak with a booming black voice.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Let the hate flow thr-

    Ah, f*ck it.

  • DynamixRo

    Finally some original and honest content from RLM.

  • That’s nothing. I once took the time to list and count all their videos that weren’t Star Wars related because of a similar type of complaint.

  • Rich Evans’ laugh transcends the 4th wall.

  • EJ

    Straw Wars?

  • Mikkel Rasmussen

    Do not agree with you on R1 at all but that is what it is. Good to see you capitalizing on the extra attention this way. The first two Plinkett responses were just awful, but this did have me laughing all the way 🙂

  • Mikkel Rasmussen

    I thought the first thing at first. After those two akward Plinkett follow-ups I was thinking the same. This however had my laughing 🙂

  • EJ

    Also Star Wars isn’t Nerd Culture FFS. EVERYBODY likes Star Wars.

  • Brian Levine

    If it was authentic, fine. If it was scripted, I stand by my original comment.

  • Brian Levine

    I don’t think that they don’t like it. More that it doesn’t live up anywhere near to the hype (as if it could).

    I’ll bet Rick Berman loved this movie.

  • Izzy Lichi

    i love this lol RLM is the best thing since jesus

  • Izzy Lichi

    Jesus im so sorry you had to be involved in this comment, i know you loved RLM too, you told me

  • Bubs

    Vote Trump in the next election that will never happen. Because he said so.

  • ikdks

    I was so ready to hate this.

  • Siggy

    Not really. In the original trilogy they were a HUMAN centered organisation. HUMAN, as in all races. It was obvious for me that wit the budgets on hand, and the advances with CGI we will get more aliens in the Rebel forces, but noooo. Even more humans – just forcibly diverse to not offend anyone.

  • ikdks

    Yeah, they were going after obsequious nerd podcasters. I thought it was pretty accurate.

  • ikdks

    Oh fuck. It’s January.

  • ikdks

    Faster Womprat, kill kill.

  • ikdks

    Fin’s black.

  • ikdks

    …and blackjack…and hookers.

    You know what? Screw the human condition.

  • ikdks

    Mmmmm. Ally Sheedy.

    Back in the day I’da docked in her acoustic coupler modem.

  • Showbiz Pizza Bear

    That laugh can not be scripted. Much like the screams of pain when I maul people.

  • I believe Rich Evans has stated before that he does not know how to fake laugh. He is simply incapable – therefore every laugh from him is genuine.

  • Brian Levine

    Or my screams of pain when people force me to go to the mall.

  • Dan

    Haha, this was great!

  • I’m a CGI lizardman alien and I’m offended.

  • Donaldo Knottso

    15 minutes of dry parody? Sing me up!

  • EJ

    In western Sci-Fi, Humans are traditionally a stand-in for White People, and Aliens mean non-white people. George Lucas said that the Ewoks were inspired by the North Vietnamese. All of which is racist as hell when you think about it.

  • EJ

    I mean we saw Alderaan get blown up and Princess Leia was like “aw, geez, guys!” Pretty gritty.

  • So I tried to subscribe to Loot Crate just like you guys were making fun of but I accidentally subscribed to Lute Crate. They’re going to be sending me archaic stringed instruments with fucked-up necks each month. As soon as I realized my mistake I tried calling their support center, but the guy who answered – Alan-a-Dale – was unable to help me. I tried telling him that I didn’t want any lutes and really only wanted his help further inserting more useless hipster-nerd-geek clutter junk into my house. I guess I’m going to be listening to a lot more Greensleeves from now on…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Taking a risk here but why not? The Manhole presents tonight at 10PM EST the ‘Disc of Despair’, a knockoff of the circular random generator BotW uses to passive aggressively accept their lot in life. If you know where to find it, join us! If not, see you all ib the Fiddlers Green.

  • david dallas

    Yes, though I disagree with them too, this was RLM at their finest!

  • david dallas

    I think after four videos, it’s pretty clear that the RLM crew did not like Rogue One.

  • Imaf

    Me personally, I Αμὴν ἀμὴν λέγω ὑμῖν, ὁ μὴ εἰσερχόμενος διὰ τῆς θύρας εἰς τὴν αὐλὴν τῶν προβάτων, ἀλλὰ ἀναβαίνων ἀλλαχόθεν, ἐκεῖνος κλέπτης ἐστὶ καὶ λῃστής·

  • Imaf

    That’s how I really feel about this.

  • Imaf

    They hit all of the podcast conventions: “Um.” “Me personally.” Etc.

  • Imaf

    Yeah–their fifteen minutes have now become sixteen!

  • Imaf

    Or my screams of pain when I think of Darth Maul.

  • TitusAndronicusForever

    Well, me personally, I loved this clip!

  • Imaf

    And use the force on me.

  • Imaf

    I always wanted to be a fly on the wall during the RLM brainstorming/writers’ room sessions. RICH: “Hey, maybe we could do a bit about all of those annoying conventions of podcasts?” JAY: “You mean like our own?” MIKE: “No way! We don’t have any annoying qualities. What’s wrong with your face, Jay?”

  • Well, it’s your website; do what you want. Another video on the same topic though? Irony’s great and all, but there are other things to talk about.

  • DasKleineTeilchen

    the fuck do you mean?!? there are no other things than starwars to talk about!!!1! exept for pixels of course, the bibel of nerdgasms.

  • NoLookPass

    Delicious tasty satire

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Have we talked about landscapes and vistas? Jay, what do you think?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    My dry parody is served in a martini glass with three olives.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    GeekCrate! NerdBox! DweebContainer!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Geek culture loves their authenticity. That’s why they love CGI Grand Moff Tarkin/Guy From Polar Express.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “You may fire when ready.” — CGI Dead Horse.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Does that mean we can stop constantly campaigning now?” — Everyone in the US House of Representatives.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    CGI Grand Moff Tarkin: You may fire when ready.
    CGI Charles Bronson Skywalker: No dice.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    That’s OK, Gleep Glop, you’re one of the good ones.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “You may fire when ready.” — CGI Freddie Mercury

  • Pop Culture Reference

    You’re wrong. It’s “Howard’s End.” That’s the one with the talking duck, right?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    That’s how Trump picks his Cabinet.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    It’s Jack-Free and hilarious!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Does George Lucas look like a guy who eats salads?

  • bernverdnardo

    God I hate fake nerds

  • EJ

    They’ll keep making these things as long as we keep watching them and earning them more ad revenue. I wouldn’t bet on it but I have a sneaking suspicion that the Plinkett Star Wars reviews have probably made them more money than everything else they’ve done put together.

  • rashad1

    You guys hit a Gold Mine

    keep em coming…..

  • CGI_Leia

    Keep pissing these fuckers off and I’ll give you a computer generated blowjob

  • CGI_Leia

    This is a hot topic and so many fan boys are all worked up over it….Star Wars sells and they know it! I say carry on gents…and I’ll see you assholes in Episode 9….

  • Jaws in Spaaace

    Mike is sexy.

  • Seth

    like telling you to GTFO. let’s discuss you GTFO.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    You mean… you prefer REAL nerds? What are you, a giant pile of horseshit?

  • Siggy

    And he is just a cannon fodder for old white men. Jesus, think.

  • Yes let’s

  • It’s almost like they’re recycling tired tropes with the Star Wars name attached. Wait.

  • Zach Solberg

    This is a Masterpiece of Comedy.

  • ikdks

    I do think, jackass. There are no black nazzis. The aryan nation doesn’t have black soldiers. David Duke doesn’t have black bodyguards.

    White supremacists don’t use black soldiers. That misses the whole point of the supremacy part. Your analogy makes no sense.

  • ikdks

    “Who is Gleep Glop?”

  • ikdks

    But they aren’t trading good reviews for access. If they were, Max would still be a fan.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Rich still saving for those VR goggles

  • Jaws in Spaaace

    I love democracy.

  • DeadWife

    Amazing

  • DeadWife

    Question, they making fun of anyone specifically or just the numerous other youtube reviewers? Sorry, I pretty much only watch RLM’s stuff.

  • Sir Baronish

    I love you guys so, so much. So much.

  • fred

    That scene in Boogie Nights when Doctor Octopus is smoking crack is one of the most perfect scenes ever — so good that it’s a masterpiece within a near perfect masterpiece. (not crazy about the first 25 minutes)

  • I was also curious. The things RLM parodies I pretty much only see in “related videos” thumbnails from watching too much RLM while signed into my account. After their “things I know” video I actually did see a Star Wars video pop up in related links with a big red circle around Darth Vader. I was like – “Wow! Now that’s a thing I know!”

  • DeadWife

    5:36 was, I think, the only sincere thing they say and it’s so true

  • Omis

    Yeah fuck real nerds.

  • A Talking Bidoof

    They’re making fun of nerd podcasts in general, as far as I know. A lot of podcasts/reviewers are excessively non-confrontational (Their constant use of “Me personally”), will go very far to downplay a movie’s flaws, and are absolutely terrible about drinking into the mic (Only podcasts do that really though). The only thing they’re specifically mocking is Loot Crate and/or Nerd Block, which are both services where you can pay to have garbage delivered to your house monthly.

    I have a friend that watches these sorts of review shows constantly, and I can’t stand them. The standard format is 3-4 guys. Most of them will love the movie, they’ll gush about it and all the awesome fan trivia references. Then one of the dudes will be like “Welllllll, I didn’t like it as much as you all did” and then name one or two obvious flaws, they’ll do a small roundtable on how the flaws aren’t really that bad or were intentional and therefore actually great ideas, they’ll all agree that the special effects were just fantastic, and at the end they’ll all rate it 9 or 10/10, depending on how much money it made, and the guy that “didn’t like it” will still rate it a 7 or 8 because “in spite of its flaws it’s still a really well crafted movie”.

    They’re all overly polite, non-judgemental, and overall milquetoast. I’m sure a lot of them are genuine fanboys, but the cynical part of me always thinks most of them are just parroting back what the majority opinion is so that they can get those sweet subscriptions and start milking money. Or, maybe that’s just how regular, functioning members of society interact and I only like Mike and Jay and Rich because I’m also a cynical shell of a person that enjoys killing hookers with fast kill, low irritant Raid. I’ll let You deciiiiide.

  • A Talking Bidoof

    Well, they were also unable to attend an early screening due to Rich Evans’ crippling diabetes.

  • DeadWife

    Nice reply, thanks so much.

  • Kyle Battle

    This was hilarious. I don’t remember seeing such a skit before on RLM, but please do more going forward.

  • fred

    I loved the Nerd Box segment. Their satire on Youtube hacks is spot on.

  • fred

    It’s not a movie. That’s the thing haters don’t understand, it’s not a movie.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    fuck real nerds real nerds fuck. Droids, that is.

  • Onevok

    So in other words, they’re Canadian?

  • doctorr

    Seems like RLM and their fanboys are the ones worked up., CGI Princess. So butthurt this is all they can make videos about.

  • memory vision dark crystal twa

    Red Letter Media is the god of pop culture. what do now?

  • Thanatos

    That red armed C3PO toy….so embarrassing.

  • Thanatos

    Mike gave it 9/10. Jay gave it 11/10.

    9/10/11/10 = 9/11. And now back to 9/11

  • Malevolence

    It’s called cynicism, there’s a difference

  • Thanatos

    Dude, he owned you. Stop digging.

  • Mark Bisone

    Here’s how I always figured the off-screen conversation went in “Star Wars: The Star Wars”, during their bi-weekly staff meeting:

    ***

    Grand Moff Tarkin:
    Thank you that status update on plumbing and electrical, Minor Moff Grimsley. Now, let’s turn things over to Average Moff McKitrick for a risk-assessment review.

    Average Moff McKitrick:
    Our threat analysis team has determined this battle station is 99.9998% invulnerable to attack by conventional rebel spacecraft.

    Tarkin:
    Excellent. Just for shits and giggles, why not 100%?

    McKitrick:
    Well, there’s roughly a 0.0002% chance that a rebel X-wing pilot could use space magic to shoot a bomb directly up its asshole, blowing us all to smithereens.

    Darth Vader:
    See? See? I told you not to underestimate the power of the Force!

    Tarkin:
    Yes, yes. I think we all know your concerns by now, “Lord” Vader. Great job, everyone. Let’s break for lunch and then ship this baby… I haven’t fucked my wife in six weeks, and I think she’s finally starting to notice!

    (Laughter and applause.)

    ***

    Now, the empire doesn’t lose because of their hubris and lack of imagination, but because their own people betrayed them, and they were hilariously incompetent in fixing the problem. Likewise, the rebels didn’t win through imagination, cunning and mystic assistance, but because some imperial guy rigged the thing to blow up, and then kinda told his daughter about it.

    So “Rogue One” posits that everyone in the universe is a retard except for Mads Mikkelsen, just like everyone but the emperor was a retard in the 90’s prequels.

    Are we sure Lucas had nothing to do with this mess?

  • Thanatos

    It was stylistically designed to be that way.

  • Thanatos

    Direct parody of the frauds at Collider, indirect insult to most movie review podcasts.

    Apparently they even matched the review scores to the same positions the Collider fucks were sitting in when they sold out for Rogue One.

  • Mark Bisone

    Do Macarena?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    This would sound like an authentic geek podcast only if they misused the word “curated” when describing GeekCrates.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Who let the dogs out?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Curated!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Tonally confused and not funny.” — Stephen Bannon’s review of “Schindler’s List.”

  • spynet315

    If you want to suck him off, I’m sure all you have to do is ask

  • spynet315

    OMG totally owned you, bro!!!! See how many exclamation points I used! That’s means it’s EXTREME!!

  • spynet315

    OMG what an amazing comment! I’m sure that one’s gotta sting! EXTREME!

  • spynet315

    EXTREME!

  • spynet315

    Omg, where have I heard that before!? Bahaha EXTREEEEEME!!

  • spynet315

    Besides, I’d rather not learn more about trolling… then I’d be as pathetic as you, and no one wants that 🙁

  • spynet315

    Omg 9/11! That’s a thing I remember! I love how you state numbers! XTREME!!!

  • spynet315

    Woooo! The internet opinion warrior strikes again! He won’t take a stance of his own, but he’ll rip down other people’s opinions at the drop of a hat. I’m glad there’s people like you in the world so that The children can see that it’s ok to grow up to become a complete pile of trash who can only be a bully online because in the real world no one would care if he lived or died. Go you!!!

  • spynet315

    How ironic! you have done nothing but make childish comments on other posts that you have disagreed with. I love your biting commentary on life, the universe, and everything, bro. I sure hope you don’t break your neck falling off that high horse. HOT POCKET

  • JackDeth

    I love you. You’re really making my day right now, you have no idea.

  • spynet315

    You too, bro. You too. Let’s get sushi sometime! Do you like chirashi?

  • JackDeth

    Seriously, get better at trolling. This is weak sauce.

  • Troll Prince The White

    Women have a strange relationship with SW.

    1) They usually got into SW, sci-fi, comic movies so fanboys will like them and to be part of an “event”. Kind of like that girl you see at the bar on sunday wearing her boyfriend’s favorite football team jersey. She is there for him and the fun associated with him.
    2) They get confused by the strong, independent womynz in Disney Wars. Women is new role = automatically good or at least beyond criticism
    3) They – as a gender – are more likely to go with the crowd, go along to get along, etc.

    I actually had one tell me that the writing was “incredible”.

    She continued “telling the story from point A to point B in such an awesome way takes skills.”

    Legit quote.

  • spynet315

    nah, bro. People like you were meant for trolling, and I don’t not want to take that from you. If I actually practiced internet trolling, I’d be a fucking loser like you…. that’s not gonna happen

  • grootsuit

    Funny as phuck. Well done, all.

  • Troll Prince The White

    There are actually black former Nazis who fought for Germany and it’s Allies in WW2 who are still alive.

    The Nazis were quite multicultural when it came to fielding soliders. The Japs were much more discriminatory and racist on a whole.

    And if you are talking neo-nazis or whatever, yes there are those too. I know one.

  • Troll Prince The White

    That’s insane and sounds like some critical theory bullshit. Sometimes an alien is just an alien.

    Stop looking for causes and live your life.

  • Troll Prince The White

    because that’s what it is

  • Troll Prince The White

    brilliant

  • Troll Prince The White

    This is what happens when creators become cannibals.

  • Troll Prince The White

    HAHAHHAHAHAAHA.

  • Troll Prince The White

    Exactly… chasing the dragon…

  • Troll Prince The White

    HAHA. Still not getting it.

  • Darkling

    Pander to fans – have Rich Evans do Macarena. Be funny. Make for good GIF.

  • Clearly someone’s a proud owner of the aforementioned figurine..

  • Angela

    Greek culture.

  • spynet315

    Clearly we have different definitions of the word “clearly”.

  • Darkling

    Rogue One only have erso-so opening weekend in China, despite panda to blind Chinese andor Chinese machine gunner demographics. Perhaps panda not make politics happy after all?

  • Darkling

    I think it would have been more plausible (and more respectful to ANH) if Galen had secretly engineered the Death Star so that only that /one/ particular exhaust port (of presumably hundreds or thousands on the Death Star) was vulnerable. He could have covertly arranged to have that one exhaust shaft constructed so that an explosion at the top would set off a chain reaction and destroy the reactor.

    I mean, “I’ve engineered the reactor module so that a pressurised explosion to any part of it will destroy the entire station” is stupid. There would presumably be a /huge/ number of engineers working under him, creating the actual design schematics and overseeing construction of the reactor. At least one of them would have been bound to notice that the reactor was catastrophically vulnerable to explosives.

    With just one vulnerable exhaust port, Galen could perhaps have sneaked it through under the Empire’s nose. And that way, even /knowing/ the Death Star’s weakness, the Rebels would still desperately need the plans in order to find out which port they needed to attack.

  • Evidently.

  • EJ

    Dude, cool your jets. Critical theory rarely even considers sci-fi, that’s one of the many reasons critical theory is mostly garbage. But, 99% of sci-fi is political. I’m not making that up about the Ewoks, it’s a direct quote from Lucas. God forbid you ever crack open some classic sci-fi lit like Asimov or Heinlein. it’s politics all the way down.

  • Troll Prince The White

    Lucas is a lying motherfucker. He has continually lied since the prequels came out.

    Wait… OMG.. you mean sci-fi books that are directly about politics are about politics???

    Leave SW out of it, creep.

  • Jaws in Spaaace

    I think they were trying to retroactively make ANH a comedy… which was a bold and stylistic idea, you just don’t get it man.

  • Jaws in Spaaace

    Notice the Captain Phasma toy… wasn’t that the greatest.

  • Jaws in Spaaace

    Now that’s going way too far man, wow… you take that back.

  • Mark Bisone

    And like that… he’s gone.

  • jcal7

    I still think they are being waaay too hard on Rogue One, they say themselves that SW was put up on a pedestal and was never that deep so what’s the problem? I didn’t think it was overly dark like BvS, it was a lot of fun. It’s a SW franchise for fuck sake, these are Xmas movies now and are the way movies are made today. You have la la land or whatever if you want that.

    They are criticising youtuber’s or whoever for disagreeing but they are doing exactly the same thing – don’t debate our opinion’s, you’re wrong…. Mike doesn’t let it go, this is like the Jurassic World review where he more or less demanded Jay change his opinion.

    But fucking hell they nailed the Collider guys! I think Mike was a bit of Dennis and Kristian, while Jay was definitely Campea… used to watch Collider for a while but they are so far up their own asses. Just in December they were filming in NYC while they had ‘Business Meetings’… and Campea quits in a huff and climb mountains or some nonsense, only to start a rival review show and then return with his tail between his legs. They totally got SW Celebration wrong this year and showed that they are not in touch with the industry as much as they make out. Will say Harloff genuinely loves all the lore of SW, and didn’t really give Rogue One a stellar review. Was quite critical of it

  • Domo

    I think the bigger point of the podcast parody, beyond slamming other websites, is that RLM is better than the alternative. You may not agree with everything RLM says, but they’re not gonna lie to you, or sugarcoat things, or treat franchises as something sacred or precious. They can’t be bought or bargained with, and they will call all the bullshit for what it is, while making you laugh the whole time.

    This video is more of a mission statement than anything, and if you don’t like what RLM has to say, go to Collider. They will give you exactly what you want if you don’t want to be challenged. That’s all.

  • jcal7

    I’m not in the slightest saying I don’t support RLM you petty dick, quite the contrary. Just don’t agree with them in this instance and that making a Plinkett video to further explain their position is a no win argument. Love their reviews and output watch it over Collider as it’s entertaining in its own right while still having interesting insights. Read the comment properly bellend

  • ReviewTheReviewers

    Ooooorrrrr, they learned after their initial review of the TFA that most of the people that view this site came here because of the evisceration of the prequel trilogy (rightfully so) and they want to see more of that. Positive reviews aren’t going to pay the bills so they have to approach every star wars movie outside of the original trilogy with a hyper critical eye. The back peddling of their opinion of TFA tells all.

  • Domo

    I did read your comment. Just saying that people who strongly disagree with them about Rogue One and people who love this Podcast don’t have to exist independently. Your comment kinda perfectly encapsulates that.

    The first time I’ve been called a dick on this website, though. Man, have things changed.

  • ikdks

    The Nazis were multicultural!!!!! Oh my god that’s awesome.

    Yeah, the local skinheads just had a bake sale for Haiti relief efforts. Goebbels was known for sponsoring Ethiopian children, but he didn’t like to talk about it cause its really just for the kids.

    Go to school kid. Quit getting your history from the internet.

  • Troll Prince The White

    It was a lot of fun? Which part?

  • Troll Prince The White

    School? You mean the indoctrination academies approach things from a black and white puritanical view?

    Fuck off, you condescending millennial flower!

    Your head is so far up the controlled narrative’s ass that it’s a wonder you haven’t suffocated!

    Not only was the German army multi-ethnic and multi-racial there were Black and Muslims in the SS. in fact there were entire Muslim SS units.

    The Nazis didn’t care what you looked like or where you came from as long as you were a Nazi.

    Unlike the Japs.

    And I never said skinheads, that is different from a national socialist. There are black national-socialists. I know one.

  • Troll Prince The White

    What backpedaling? They say it checked 2 out of the 3 boxes.

    I say it checked none.

  • Dustin Scarsdale

    Youse guys can say whatever the fuck you want about whatever the fuck movie comes out whatever the fuck!

    Seriously, though…I hope Trump ushers in a new world where Political Correctness is outlawed….

  • Darkling

    The sad thing is that we’re getting a Colin Trevorrow-directed Episode IX in 2019. Not hopeful about that. Disney needs to get actual storytellers to direct these movies, not guns-for-hire chosen solely for their experience directing effects-heavy films. =/

  • Troll Prince The White

    It’s over. SW is done and cashed out. The minute they decided to hire Nose Nose Nerd Glasses it was done. His sensibility is for shit. On top of which he’s a fucking company man hack.

    The only way to go was to hand a trilogy to a real director and give him some notes and ideas from Lucas and let him do what he wanted.

    The idea that Disney went in a different direction from what Lucas wanted to do with 7-9 is all we need to know.

    Lucas might be write shit dialogue and have no idea how to direct actors and has probably forgot (if he ever knew) what SW is about but getting his input would have been like the OT all over again. He is good with a great big story and tying it all together.

  • Dom_DeLuise’s_Armpit_Child

    Just watched Batman v Superman for the first time. Its awful.

  • Dom_DeLuise’s_Armpit_Child

    It was brilliantly executed.

  • Yeah I watched it too against their advice… such a mistake. That film is just atrocious.

  • RLMkeepitup

    this town has changed

  • Am I the only one who thinks it looks a little bit jarring to have like… okay – you have this very gritty war movie – but then you have goofy looking Storm Troopers (by goofy I just mean they look like STAH WAHZ) – still with me? At this point we’re doing okay – but then you have Storm Troopers slowly walking onto some sort of tropical beach.. and it just looks silly. Why are you putting Storm Troopers on a tropical beach in a gritty war movie about people dying? I don’t know what to take seriously. I don’t find that image in the trailer menacing or ominous – I find it funny.

  • jcal7

    Sorry I thought you were being snotty, I misread your comment. I’m a big fan of this site, going back there the original videos and think lots of reviewers like Stuckmann are dire. Have a nice day, didn’t mean to be so snarky

  • Dom_DeLuise’s_Armpit_Child

    Sometimes you have to feel the pain for yourself to know it hurts.

  • xn0

    I think they are correct with their satire on obviously bought reviews and journalism. (I think they parody Collider in this one?). Rogue One is foremost just tonally wrong. It really does not matter to me if its financially successful or not, but mixing pulpy Star Wars with Saving Private Ryan / Black Hawk Down? Thats really unfitting. Rogue One needed some good banter and well rounded but simple characters. The actress playing Jyn Erso (forgot her name) delivers her lines so extremely dull and disinterested its almost jarring. I really did not care about them dying at the end. And thats always a bad sign.

    Garreth Edwards really has a lot of trouble directing actors, and doesn’t have a single clue what to do with them. No sympathetic hero characters, a shoehorned appearance/cameo of Vader etc.. Getting less and less interested about SW at this point. Its only a matter of time till its milked dry. Its a limited universe, and there is only so much you can possibly do with it cinematically.

  • The best part in Jurassic World was when the guy grabs his drink off the table when all the dinosaurs are attacking. The whole movie was worth it just for that image.

  • xn0

    I was just baffled. The movie is really completely incoherent. There is literally no reason for Batman to be against Superman. There is no motivation at all. In Frank Millers Comic “Dark Knight Returns” i got it, because they had a decades-long history, and Wayne had a justifiable
    seething anger against the Kryptonian, but here? He barely knows him!

    They should have cut down the movie and restructure it to a dense 100-120 Min., remove the Wonderwoman/Doomsday Plotline and be done with it. And Superman “dying” at the end was just stupid. It should have ended with a sincere handshake and a “Lets start again” line between the two.

  • xn0

    They criticise the unthinking adulation for these movies, who are running only on nostalgia fumes (for lack of a better word). They are correct in their assertion.

  • fred

    The fuck did you expect.

  • jethole

    He’s already made his plan clear–to outlaw Correctness.

  • Mark Bisone

    1. “Here we go again.”
    Three drunks in Milwaukee ridicule a shitty nerd film.

    2. INVASION! (of boring)
    Nerds swarm the webzone. They trot out that “Longtime listener, first time caller” bullcrap, then proceed to litter the comment section with trivia about whichever horrible nerd site sent them here.

    3. Nothing Makes Sense
    Someone makes the rookie mistake of paying them any mind whatsoever, and is subjected to a round of childish name-calling.

    I guess you really have been gone a long time. Did you change your hair?

  • RLMkeepitup

    mos eisley was a big sandy desert and nobody got upset. except george when we wrote the line about sand getting everywhere.

  • DeadWife

    BvS is the worst thing since movies

  • Dom_DeLuise’s_Armpit_Child

    What I got.. AAAIIIDDDSSS

  • Wolvy

    Fuck you, it’s January!

  • Troll Prince The White

    I saw that in the trailer and thought they were just gratuitously putting star wars iconography in new environments.

    Next up will be a jungle. Then something out of LOTR. The Outback.

  • ikdks

    Its ok. I saw it.

  • jabbakahut

    You guys are the best of the worst! I would call you the anti-millennial movement.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    Collider much? Nah but seriously, I am reminded (somehow) that I still need to order my RLM mug – or maybe it will be in my next ‘Dork Barrel'[TM].

  • Domo

    You know damn good and well it’s never been hair.

    –Sincerely,
    Turd Cannibal

  • No I get what you’re saying – there has to be an environment like that somewhere in the Star Wars universe given how many billions of planets with life are on them… I mean sort of. I think the reason my brain is more willing to accept a sandy environment than a tropical one is because Earth-like tropical environments are very specific to… you know, Earth. Whereas sand is just minerals and rocks and shit. I think this is just a creative/technical gap we’ve yet to overcome in most movies – because if in the script somewhere it says they’re fighting in a forest – more than likely they’re just going to go and film in a forest. I dunno, I live around trees, so when I see a shit ton of really specific trees I think “that looks like so and so region of wherever” – my brain always identifies it to something I’ve seen before in real life. I just wish there was some practical way that moviemakers could make creative vegetation without building tiny sets or making everything CG, but really the only way I can think of that suffices is going to an actual alien planet and filming there… and well by that point the movies are pointless because then we’ll be living Star Wars.

  • RLMkeepitup

    im in FL so i agree the palm tree beach was a bit odd. if they had shown some original animals or infantry suits it may have been less jarring. it didnt bother me but by no means did it instill wonder like the endor redwoods or anything close to the dagobah swamp

  • TheVerySpecialK

    OK, let’s be hypothetical and say that Rogue One was well made. Let’s say the characters were interesting, and that the story was coherent and tied neatly into the original trilogy. Even then, would it be worth watching? Because in my opinion, there is a certain threshhold that movies can cross when they are created to explain backstory. The “unnecessary prequel effect,” if you will. The core problem I see with Rogue One is that the backstory it aims to expand on is already so minor and inconsequential that it would be boring no matter what. In other words, it crosses the threshold, and is therefore doomed.

    Let’s use an example: let’s say that someone decided to make a Spider-Man movie which focused on the creation of the spider that bit Peter Parker. It could be a drama following the scientists which engineered the spider itself, depicting their efforts. It could show how the scientists struggled to complete their project under a restrictive bureaucracy, how they heroicly applied for and were awarded grants to further their research, etc. The characters could be great. The story could be well written. Even as a competent film, would anyone care? Seriously, who would?

    I don’t think it’s even fair to label films like this as prequels. Ideally, prequels are created to explain things that need or warrant explanation. Did the method in which the rebels acquired the plans matter? Does the process by which the spider that bit Peter Parker was created warrant explanation? No. The rebels having the plans in A New Hope was already enough, just like Peter Parker being bitten in a high-tech genetics lab was already enough: these were effective plot hooks that got things moving and added a sense of urgency to things. Beyond that, nothing more needed to be said.

    Sometimes it’s the things that aren’t explained in a story that end up being the most profound. How did Han meet Lando? How did Boba Fett grow up to become a bounty hunter like his dad? These are mysteries that add more to Star Wars than any explanation, no matter how brilliantly contrived, could ever add. They enhance the story by simply being what they are: brush strokes on a larger canvas; the microcosms of a masterpiece.

  • Riiiight, that’s a good point actually. Some alieny animals probably would do the trick for me. I live in Oregon so naturally I’m used to pine trees and big redwoods – but the ones down in cali that I’m assuming they filmed at are still fucking amazing in their own right. Almost alien-like on their own planet.

  • RLMkeepitup

    not a fan of any franchise going backwards really. for every one that works out there’s 5 that either don’t or are just awful. i think rogue was decent but the character side stories stuff will likely over explain as you said

  • Mark Bisone

    Now I know for sure that you’re the real deal, the genuine article, the pièce de konnichiwa.

  • EJ

    You could call it the “Victor Frankenstein Effect.” Perfectly decent movie about a backstory that absolutely no one gave a shit about.

  • Troll Prince The White

    Cinematic universes are built on there imagined lore. That’s part of world-building.

    Showing all of that diminished the universe.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Ultimate Edition or theatrical?

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Did you watch the Ultimate Edition or the theatrical?

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    They did one on upcoming superhero movies that parodied Youtube videos.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    You’ve heard of doubling down? This is tripling down, and I love it, almost as much as I love Rogue One.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    If Rich breaking out in laughing really was the first time they broke character, I congratulate them, I couldn’t have lasted that long. But I’m betting they had to cut out some laughter earlier, it’s just too funny.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    The second Plinkett video was too much, but then they did this and came back around to hilarity.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I think if they thought it was awful, they’d say it blatantly. Like say it’s worse than the prequels.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I’m confused, are you saying they aren’t a white supremacy analog? They’re quite clearly intended to be Space Nazis.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    It’s an analog, they hate aliens like Nazis hate non-whites.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    What’s really disturbing is that Lucas thinks the North Vietnamese are the good guys.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Weren’t you the one telling people to stop looking for causes and live their lives?

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    The fishpeople in Dagon truly were an alienated minority in New England, though.

  • Mark Bisone

    Right. In the original film the Death Star plans were what Hitchcock called a “MacGuffin” — an otherwise unimportant plot device that functions as the object of pursuit. In “Star Wars”, it was a physical thing that some unknown space chick feeds to a trashcan-man in the first five minutes, which then motivates the heroes and villains through the first two acts.

    It doesn’t really make any sense, of course. Why did the plans have to be a physical thing at all? Don’t any of these lightspeed-jumping spaceships have modems? Do they run on Commodore 64’s? But it doesn’t need to make any sense. It just has to provide motivation, so we can build scenes that have tension, and populate them with compelling characters with a clear goal. Whether its a magic sword or the top-secret microfilm, what matters is that everybody wants it, and will go to great extremes to get it.

    After the heroes get the MacGuffin into the right hands, it rightfully vanishes from the story. We then get on with the business of a daring bomber raid, the result of which is not preordained. In other words, mere receipt of the plans doesn’t guarantee the Death Star will blow up. It just gives the heroes a chance to do something heroic, which Luke does by making his “one-in-a-million shot”.

    Disney made a dull, dreary quarter-billion dollar movie which seeks to explain another film’s MacGuffin. It’s less a story than it is a form of narrative pollution. They even appeared to be trying to make the MacGuffin logical, which is like writing a textbook on the anatomy of Pegasus. But they failed at that, too, since the film shows that the plans were transmitted remotely instead of via a physical object, which implies they could be replicated across a network instead of hidden inside a trashcan. The writers can’t even sensibly explain a thing that didn’t require an explanation in the first place.

    This is what film-by-committee looks like. It’s not bad because it’s “ruining Star Wars”, which was ruined many years ago. It’s bad because it’s ruining the art of storytelling in the minds of impressionable youths.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    If only one would have a relationship, strange or not, with you…or me for that matter.

    *sighs, pensively eyes Princess Leia love pillow*

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    SARS Wars? Are they absolutely TRYING to fail to get into the Chinese market?!

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Lobsters have a pretty hard shell and are hearty creatures.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    tl;dr my sister liked a movie, so I want to disown her.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Still better, because Mama Erso didn’t do it twice.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I agree–wait. Are you being sarcastic?

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Not enough talk about sucking cocks or how much his wife hates having sex with him.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I’m not making a list of people who hate Batman v Superman in preparation for the coming purge…I mean, a theoretical purge…I assure you.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Well, that’s the thing though–maybe don’t assume they are making fun of everyone who likes Rogue One, just the people who act like it’s the Second Coming.

  • DasKleineTeilchen

    yep, was thinking the same; as soon as they got the plans I wanted to shout “just broadcast that shit over the entire galaxy on every fucking channel for fucks sake!”

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Boba Fett was actually a rebel sympathizer the entire time, a deep cover agent who answered directly to Mon Mothma and no one else. The tragic tale of Return of the Jedi and his sacrifice to maintain this illusion will be seen from his perspective in Dianoga Eater: A Star Wars Story.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I liked it even more on my second viewing, but I’m sure people’s mileage may vary.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Yeah, if there are people out there really saying it’s better than or equal to Empire, I think it’s not surprising that they made this video.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Is The Nerd Crew replacing Half in the Bag?

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    David Lynch should have caught him on one of the thousand times he was going to the all you can eat cheese bar instead of that one time he went to the restaurant where they only serve salad.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    So will the next video establish circles within circles?

  • DasKleineTeilchen

    oh yes, they did; the troll-prince is right in this case. basicly they were kinda slave-soldiers, nothing new in history.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Did they make multiple videos about Batman v Superman? As someone who likes BvS, I appreciate how easy I am getting it compared to hardcore Ghostbusters or Rogue One fans.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Yeah, I don’t get it. We all saw the movie before watching any of these videos, to me it’s just about the after-movie ritual of seeing what the guys think and hear some good jokes.

    I mean, if anyone really feels ridiculed by these videos, just remember that Mike likes Jurassic World.

  • fred

    Return of the Jedi may be the sloppiest of the original saga, but it’s better than any film made after it bearing the Star Wars brand. The story’s been over for 30 years folks. I guess the masses don’t even need story these days. Just munch on your 5 dollar chili cheese dog and see new toys advertised on screen.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Shut up and take my money!

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I don’t really watch the movies alongside their movie commentaries, so to me those are podcasts. the extended versions of the re:View episodes were similar, but they quit doing those.

  • fred

    Really, because it seems like most people who saw New Hope in the theater remember the first few seconds the most. Little ship being followed by gargantuan ship. You shouldn’t need a book of lore to understand.

  • DasKleineTeilchen

    doesnt make much difference, does it? shit stays shit.

  • They’re trolling us, and it’s actually a pretty good one.

  • Troll Prince The White

    And?

    I’m not the one looking for racism under every rock.

  • fred

    The movie’s a joke. Just like all the other ones to come.

  • JackDeth

    Good point. We all have some movies we love despite their shittiness. We need to be able to make fun of a movie’s flaws and laugh about it without taking it personally. Some people have a hard time with that.

  • fred

    But you get to see Batman kill more people.

  • fred

    I hope he outlaws violence. Then we can have world peace.

  • Mark Bisone

    You’re onto something there. Leaving some air in a story really does spark imaginations. I recall imagining that Leia herself had stolen the plans, as part of a carefully planned honeypot operation that involved seducing a certain handsome, strapping imperial officer by the name of Mark…

    Never mind. But, yeah, the constant filling in of blanks discourages kids from filling in blanks for themselves. I sure wanted to fill in Carrie Fisher’s blank, back then.

  • EJ

    You nailed it. I enjoyed TFA because I’m dumb. Not smart, like you.

  • Well, better to have them on paper than on a machine that can be hacked whose contents and leaked on the whatever the Star Wars equivalent of the internet is called.

  • One is the ultimate shit.

  • Mark Bisone

    Fuck that! Leak ’em! Sunlight kills vampires, and Death Stars too.

  • Troll Prince The White

    fuck off, retard

  • Troll Prince The White

    Lots of movies have special effects. A few movies have really good design. Very very few movies have the kind of mythology that SW did. In fact, probably none. It makes up a huge amount of the it’s personality anf timelessness.

  • :salty:

  • Me personally, I’d like to have a RedLetterMedia dildo. And some of Rich’s man milk.

  • Troll Prince The White

    Clone Wars. Jedi Knights. Jabba The Hut. The Plans. The Bothas. Han and Lando. Biggs and Luke. There must be other stuff I’m missing.

  • Troll Prince The White

    It’s not a MacGuffin.

    It’s the plans to the death star.

    It has a practical use in the story.

    They analyze it and find a weakness.

  • Mark Bisone

    I don’t think you quite understand the term. But that’s okay.

  • Troll Prince The White

    Yeah i do. I just think you read that somewhere and you think it makes you look smart to repeat it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    red letter used the phrase heavily for a bit. it seems star trek did a better job of forecasting (inspiring?) future tech than star wars. unless you count the Reagan initiative to weaponize space, which the US is pursuing with laser shooting jets

  • Mark Bisone

    Maybe what I said was overly harsh, so I’ll try to explain. The error I think you are making is in regards to the difference between “plot” and “story”.

    The plot of “Star Wars” is about blowing up the Death Star (of which the plans are a key “plot device”. The story of Star Wars, however, is about a simple farmboy who pierces the veil of reality, touches the divine, and thus becomes a hero. It’s also a underworld ne’er-do-well who ultimately risks his life for a cause, and finds a heroic purpose in life.

    That story could be told (and has been told) in a wide variety of ways, plot be damned. That’s why the plans are a MacGuffin.

  • Mark Bisone

    You’re gonna need a bigger boat. 😀

  • Troll Prince The White

    Hmmm… I thought the story was what the movie is about and the plot is how that story is told.

    I also thought what you were talking about what called theme.

    I could be wrong.

  • Mark Bisone

    If the story is “what the movie is about”, then what’s the theme?

    I’m not making fun of you — these are delicate differences that are often discussed and debated. But I do believe my version of “story” is the most useful one, in the sense of, “Let me tell you the story of this guy Luke I knew, and his pal Han.”

  • EJ

    I think the term MacGuffin is often explained really poorly and as a result many people think it means that a MacGuffin is a useless item and calling something a MacGuffin is a criticism. It’s not really, it’s just that the MacGuffin could be something else and you could tell essentially the same story. At least that’s the way I understand it.

  • Mark Bisone

    Exactly.

  • EJ

    Something that’s always bothered me about what the Clone Wars turned out to be was that I can’t think of one real war that’s named after the nature of your military forces. The only possible exception I can think of would be the “Toyota War” between Libya and Chad. Usually the name is a date (the War of 1812), who you were fighting (the Boer War), where it was fought (the Korean War), the general nature of the war (the Spanish Civil War, World Wars I and II), or what you were trying to achieve (the American Revolution).

    So when Luke and Obi Wan toss off the mention of the “Clone Wars” in ANH, you’re like, wow, you had to fight a bunch of clones? Sounds scary! Then it turns out to be a war fought about… something, where their troops were a bunch of cloned proto-stormtroopers, which is considerably less cool.

  • EJ

    TBQH some of my favorite HitB and Re:View episodes are where they rip movies apart that I like. I guess I’m probably weird that way.

  • Troll Prince The White

    good point… it had nothing to do with clones. it was about some separatists who wanted to separate because…? No one would have called it the Clone Wars…

  • Jaws 9000

    Rogue One is gonna down in history as the most talked about boring movie ever made, until the next one comes along.

  • Jaws 9000

    I’d link the ”Welcome Back Kotter” theme tune, but it won’t let me, which is a shame cause I like that song 🙁

  • RLMkeepitup

    heres to hoping that in 2017 one film can warm the cockles of Mikes heart. i put together this list of hopefuls:
    50 shades darker
    John Wick:Chapter 2
    The Bye Bye Man
    Rings
    The Lego Batman Movie
    Kong:Skull Island
    Power Rangers
    The Fate of the Furious
    Smurfs:The Lost Village
    Alien:Covenant
    Baywatch
    The Mummy (Tom Cruise)
    Captain Underpants
    Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Mean Tell No Tales
    Cars 3
    Transformers:The Last Knight
    Amityville:The Awakening:The Conjuring
    Spiderman:High School Homecoming
    War for the Planet of the Apes
    The Emoji Movie :C
    The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature
    The Lego Ninjago Movie
    My Little Pony:The Movie
    Friday the 13th
    Insidious:Chapter 4:pages8-12
    Saw:Legacy
    Murder on the Polar Express
    Thor:Ragnarok
    Star Wars:Episode VIII
    Jumanji (?)

  • I’m non-voting you for telling someone how to vote.

  • xn0

    Both. Both are terrible. The added content just adds more scenes and confusion. There was some more motivation for the characters, but still not enough to warrant such an all-out agressiveness of the two main characters against each other. The only saving grace is the visual look and the well-done Batman vs. the Kidnappers of Martha Kent-Action Scene. That was neat. The first time I saw Batman fight like in the comics (albeit way too out-of character violent in some scenes.)

  • david dallas

    I look at Rogue One as more as an extend prologue to a New Hope. The movies doesn’t over explain things. It simple fleshes out the opening crawl of a New Hope…showing the rebel battle that led to Leia getting the plans (albeit, that part, with her being at the actual battle doesn’t jive to what Vader says about her ship receiving several transmissions beamed to her ship)

  • xn0

    Its literally one single line in the Star Wars 1977 opening crawl. Thats all they built their storyline on. Thats the definition of “scraping the bottom of the barrel” . Its really does not warrant a complete movie about that event.

  • xn0

    A somewhat comprehensible and FUN movie? With beloved characters intact, and not changed into miserable depressive gits wanting to kill everyone?

  • Dom_DeLuise’s_Armpit_Child

    Long and painful

  • Omis

    Episode 8 in December.

  • Darkling

    Agreed. It’s basically Episode 3-and-nine-tenths.

  • Darkling

    To be fair, Lucas screwed it all up right from the start. (New and original sentiment, I know, but let me continue.)

    Stormtrooper walks in. “The Death Star plans are not in the main computer.” Inference: the plans are data that can be stored on any medium.

    Vader talking to Leia: “Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.” Inference: the plans can be transmitted without the need for physical media.

    Vader upon hearing that an escape pod was jettisoned: “She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod.” Inference: Vader is an idiot.

    Lucas deliberately ignored the already-established fact that the plans could have been transmitted anywhere and to anyone, in order to get the MacGuffin into Luke’s hands and advance the plot.

  • Darkling

    Here’s an example of how the plans are a MacGuffin.

    Instead of the Death Star plans, Princess Leia is trying to get the Rebels the schematics for an experimental model of proton torpedo that can penetrate the exhaust port’s shielding and reach the Death Star’s reactor.

    Nothing else in the movie changes. The information still needs to be gotten to the Rebels so the Death Star can be destroyed.

  • Darkling

    True. If anything, they would have called it the Separatist Wars, or the Republic Civil War.

  • Darkling

    True. Lucas’s backstory about the rise of Palpatine in the prequels was great, in my opinion. It’s just that nothing interesting was happening in the foreground. A good director and a good writer could have gone a long way towards fixing that by making Anakin’s arc more interesting and tragic.

    Say what you will about Abrams, I think he does have a talent for understanding the essence of a franchise (eg Star Trek, Mission Impossible, Star Wars) and assembling something that at least ticks a lot of the boxes that fans expect. That’s what Kathleen Kennedy wanted and probably a large reason why he was hired.

    WIth nu-Star Wars, Disney and Lucasfilm don’t want real directors causing problems and hold-ups with their ‘creativity’ and their ‘vision’. They want yes-men who will get the shooting done quick and fast so ILM can start working on the effects.

    I would be very interested to see what George had planned for the sequel trilogy in the treatment he handed over to Disney as part of the buyout. At the moment, I have little to no faith in the so-called Lucasfilm Story Group.

  • Mark Bisone

    Yes. As I said, it doesn’t make sense. And it doesn’t have to; that’s not the MacGuffin’s job.

  • Thanatos

    Dude, replying to every comment I’ve made chattering like a retard makes you appear like a whiny bitter bitch and does nothing but prove how patheticly owned you truly were. Stop embarrassing yourself, log off, and never return.

  • Jordan Oas

    A MacGugffin doesn’t have to be incidental to the plot. Take, for instance, the One Ring. It was central to the plot of The Lord of the Rings. Usually a MacGuffin is something to be found, LotR flipped that. It was present from the beginning. It was to be destroyed, instead. In a way, the true MacGuffin was Mount Doom.

    The Holy Grail is, of course, the most iconic MacGuffin in literature. It’s importance to the story can vary from source to source. Often in Arthurian tales, it is needed to save the life of Arthur after he is mortally wounded, ensorceled or otherwise incapacitated. In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, it was simply something to seek for the sake of finding.

    The Death Star plans are certainly a MacGuffin in all senses. Remember, the episodic nature of Star Wars was meant to evoke the old Serial shorts like Buck Rogers or Flash Gordon. Episode 4 starts in medias res. The Princess has finally gotten her hands on what we assume is something that has taken 3 other episodes to procure. (Speaking from the point of view that disregards the prequels and Rogue One that an original viewer of Star Wars would have had when first watching.) Her quest is nearly done when she is overtaken by Vader. She passes on the MacGuffin to the old mentor and the young hero to finish the quest. On their journey, they save the princess, and use the MacGuffin the defeat the Evil. All very standard story structure.

  • Darkling

    I don’t remember if they ever explained what the Separatists’ motivations were. From the name, you’d think it would be that they just wanted to secede from the Republic and be left alone, but instead they were /attacking/ the Republic, seemingly with the intent of overthrowing it. So wouldn’t they be better described as ‘Revolutionaries’?

  • Darkling

    Yeah, fair enough. As you said, the Lucasfilm Story Group should have just left well enough alone and not poked too hard at that particular MacGuffin.

    I keep starting to call them the Lucasfilm Story Department for some reason.

    The best part of fucking Star Wars up is ACID IN YOUR CUUUUUUU–

  • Darkling

    So Lucasfilm hired a director who:

    1) didn’t know how to pace the movie, so he had someone spend three months making an assembly cut of scenes from other movies (including other Star Wars movies and Aliens) so he would know /how much dialogue they needed to write/; and

    2) wasted an hour of shooting time at the end of each day on a so-called ‘Indie Hour’ where they just shot random images and snippets that weren’t intended to go into the movie at all (eg the shot of Jyn in the lit-up tunnel).

    Um, good choice, Lucasfilm. Sure sounds like he knew what he was doing and used your resources /really/ efficiently to tell an absolutely /amazing/ story.

  • Andy James

    It was explained that Dooku was a political idealist, so clearly they were fighting for an ideal of a political nature. Duh.

  • Brian Levine

    Well, to be fair, Star Wars was a long time ago.

  • Brian Levine

    Err…no. The idea was that the Rebels would know the weakness in the Death Star and the Empire would not. Otherwise, they would take greater precaution.

    Rogue One was a great idea. Just not a great implementation of that idea.

  • Brian Levine

    “I think he does have a talent for understanding the essence of a franchise (eg Star Trek”

    Huh…I had exactly the opposite feeling: that J.J. completely missed the essence of Star Trek. So we got party boy Kirk, emo Spock and always angry McCoy. Essentially, nothing like the original Trek. At least Simon Pegg understood this with his story for STB.

  • Brian Levine

    Well, it does have Lucas’s signature on it:

    In the original Star Wars, the Jabba scene was rightfully cut because of a number of reasons, but mainly because it made Han run from Tatooine less dramatic. In the SE, he put it back in ‘cus it looked kewl.

    The idea that a farmboy could use the Force to blow up something as imposing as the Death Star was a magical moment. Now we get the idea that it was just sitting there waiting to be blown up ‘cus Daddy built it that way.

    It IS possible to add to the story without ruining existing things, but between Lucas and Disney, you might not know that.

  • Darkling

    I’ve only seen the movie twice, and that was probably one time too many. Could have done without the ‘duh’, but thanks for the explanation.

  • Andy James

    I was sarcastically pointing out how dumb the explanation actually is. That’s why I included the “Duh”. I wasn’t trying to be insulting.

  • Darkling

    In TOS, Kirk was a womaniser, Spock had an underlying internal conflict between his ‘logical Vulcan’ and ’emotional human’ sides, and Bones was often grumpy. In my opinion, Abrams took those elements and dialed them up to 11 for today’s audiences, pretty much the same way he did with TFA.

    I’m not saying that’s a /good/ thing, or that it means that his understanding of these franchises is particularly deep – just that he seems to be able to identify a lot of the key elements that superficially ‘define’ a franchise.

  • spynet315

    Aww, amazing comment, bro! Nailed it!! EXTREME!

  • Darkling

    Ah, okay. Sorry that I took it the wrong way. Again, thanks for reminding me about the supposed motivation for Dooku’s actions in the movie. =)

  • Domo

    Well, I’m playing it now. I’ve never heard of it, and it’s wonderful.

    May your tits always be as big as balloons, Jawsie.

  • BitchFists

    Why is Josh just the worst?

  • Like Icare

    It is also inferred that plans CAN’T be beamed FROM the ship while it is being pursued by Empire’s Star Destroyers – at least not without them picking up the transmission or jamming it.
    It’s the simplest of security workarounds.
    When the data transfer network is down, compromised or monitored you pack the data on a physical medium and use the sneakernet.

    Or as they used to say back in that galaxy far, far away – never underestimate the bandwidth of a droid loaded with Death Star plans hurtling through the hyperspace.

  • playdude92 .

    I´m very sorry for the “research” you must have gone through for this. 😛

  • Like Icare

    Don’t look now… but you are working from a false premise.
    Namely that the Death Star plans are THE MacGuffin.

    For the sake of exercise take the look at Indiana Jones films, all based around MacGuffins.
    What happens when the MacGuffin is reached and used?

    Indy finds the Arc, Indy loses the Arc to Belloq, Belloq uses the Arc, Arc is lost again – movie ends.
    Indy finds the Sankara stones, loses some, returns the village one to the villagers – movie ends.
    Indy finds the Grail, Grail is used, Grail is lost – movie ends.
    Indy and everyone else bring the alien skull to the Lost City, put it on the alien body – movie ends.

    Rebels get the Death Star plans, they examine them and find the flaw that may allow them to destroy the Death Star, they mount the attack, Han Solo leaves, a battle ensues, nearly all X-wings are destroyed, Luke decides to trust the Force, Vader is about to kill Luke when Han Solo returns saving Luke and blasting Vader into space, Luke destroys the Death Star, the kingdom rejoices and the movie ends.

    Death Star plans are not the MacGuffin. DEATH STAR IS THE MACGUFFIN.

    That’s why Return of the Jedi revolves around yet another destruction of yet another Death Star, promptly ending right after that happens and not around any other object or story element – they were reusing the MacGuffin.
    Do note that it starts off with the talk about the new Death Star not being finished yet – then cutting to the heroes fuckin around on Tatooine, finishing off their business from the last movie, all completely unrelated to the beginning of or the rest of the movie.

    While the Empire Strikes Back can simply end without resolving anything, while complicating everything for the characters – cause it is just setting up all those loose ends to be tied off in the sequel.
    It doesn’t need the MacGuffin nor a clean ending to the plot – cause it is just an EPISODE in the continuing story and cause it uses its time to work on characters instead of on plot.

    Only stories which MUST promptly end need a MacGuffin.
    Cause it is not a story device. It’s a plot device.

    It holds up the plot while it is there, imploding it when it reaches its destination, when it is lost forever or when it is used up.
    Cause all plots eventually end at the same place.
    The movie winds down and says “The End”.
    In French or in any other language.

    MacGuffin allows for the controlled implosion of the plot.

  • Jaws 3DD

    Man it reads like an obituary.

  • Mark Bisone

    You don’t quite seem to understand what a MacGuffin is either (no, the Death Star isn’t one in either film, no a MacGuffin doesn’t have anything to do with how “promptly” a film concludes, etc.) The Death Star plans are actually one of the most well-known examples of the MacGuffin.

    I recommend you read “Hitchcock/Truffaut”, if you are actually interested in the reasoning behind this type of lingo. It’s a particular sort of plot device, and not every genre film has (or needs) one.

  • Baywatch??? Who the fuck thinks that is a good idea?

  • Okay I had to double check to make sure I wasn’t falling for a joke. These are REAL then. They’re really making an “Emoji Movie”… whaaaa… WHAAAAAAAAA

  • Troll Prince The White

    are those true?

  • Troll Prince The White

    The Briefcase. The Maltese Falcon. Possibly the Ring. The Plans actually did something critical to the plot.

    People just like using the word because it thinks it makes them seem smart.

  • Troll Prince The White

    Abrams knows how to hack. And that’s it. He has zero understanding about the appeal of those franchises to real movie fans but he knows how to pull the strings on both fanboys and the TV-bound sensibilities of a general audience.

    By real movie fans I mean people who grew up with Star Wars and think it was magical, thought the Prequels were shit and became somewhat disillusioned with the OT because of it.

  • Troll Prince The White

    Wrong.

  • jimmy

    These guys aren’t gonna quit until we hate Rogue One as much as they do huh? This is the 4th video now about it. I saw the HITB one, I’m skipping the others. I wish they’re just get back to more BOTW.

  • Now I Get It

    Maybe so, but you’re still on probation. You can start by peeing into this cup I made with my own two hands.

  • Brian Levine

    I respectfully disagree. Throwing in fanboy references to Tribbles or Gorn doesn’t mean you understand a franchise. STB was much closer to real Trek, in terms of characters and even story.

    That said, I think JJ is a fan of SW and understands it better. Unfortunately, his story had been done before, better, in 1977. He does have have good new characters to work with.

    Alas will we see Luke and Leia together again?

  • Like Icare

    I’m not saying that every movie needs or has one.
    I’m just pointing out the difference between movies in this particular saga – ones running on a MacGuffin (and which work) and ones that are not running on a MacGuffin (and which work as well).

    And sorry but… Death Star(s) ARE the MacGuffin(s) of both Episode IV and VI.

    Look at the plot of those movies with the understanding that a MacG plot runs on the presence in the story of an object which brings the characters together and the pursuit of which moves the plot along.

    And with the understanding of what happens to the plot when that object is reached, used, lost forever or can’t move the plot any more for any other reason.
    Don’t get bogged down with the definition – try to understand HOW and WHAT it does for the plot.

    Hint: Plot ends. Where all plots end. With a The End.

    Here’s another comparison to let you suss out what the DS plans really are in Ep. IV.
    Indy is notified by government agents that Belloq is looking for the location of the Ark – i.e. he realizes that they are looking for Abner cause he has the “headpiece of the Staff of Ra”, which is the key to finding the location of the Ark.
    Finding said object does not end the movie NOR does its use end the story though it is never used again after that.
    It sends the hero off to the next location on the path towards the Ark.

    Indy is notified that children and the stones are being held by the bad guys in the Pankot Palace.
    Reaching the palace or finding the secret passage to the tunnels underneath the palace NOR the finding of tunnels themselves does not end the story.
    Though we never return to the palace. Just as we never return to the tunnels once they serve their purpose of getting the hero closer to the Sankara stones.

    Indy is notified that his father went missing while following an incomplete inscription (i.e. map) on his quest to find the Grail and he follows him to his last known location which he gets from another map(s) sent to him by his father.
    I.e. The address on the diary package being the location AND the diary itself being a map (though incomplete) to the location of the Grail.

    The headpiece and Marion’s bar, the palace and the village, the inscription, the shield inscription and Venice sewers… the plans and the location they were sent to (hint: it was not the rebel headquarters… rebels are not the only hope) – those are all STEPS on the map of the plot.

    When you follow all the steps on the map you reach the treasure – which is the only reason for the existence of the map.
    It’s a treasure map, with steps PLOTTED on it, cause it leads you to the treasure. To the realization of the desires of the one following the map.

    What you do with the treasure afterwards doesn’t change the map.
    Whether you invest all of it in blue chip stocks or put it all on black in the local casino or even if there actually IS a treasure under that X – none of it changes the map.
    Only following the map may change the map – by changing the territory it describes.

    Like how following the map in The Last Crusade destroys many steps on the map (catacombs are set on fire, the Grail temple is destroyed, the Grail chamber is now just a room full of false Grails…) – though that is usually of no consequence once one is off to the next location on the map.

    But you still must follow ALL the steps along the way to reach the X – regardless if the following the steps alters the locations drawn on the map (the territory) and thus making the map useless for future use.
    You must follow all steps to reach the quest item. Finding of which ends that particular quest.
    Fulfills it.
    Realizes it.

    Similarly, a (working) MacGuffin plot leads you from one step to the next – until the MacGuffin is reached and “realized”.
    At which point the plot ends to be.
    Nicolas Cage’s Benjamin Gates can’t follow Indy’s steps to reach the same quest items.
    That plot was used up with all the locations and characters and items which served as plot points now gone.
    Following the plot used up the plot points, “realized” (used) the MacGuffin and no single plot point points to the next plot point or the MacGuffin any longer.

    When MacGuffin fulfills its purpose, when it does what it was supposed to do, which is always something which propels the MacG plot it is removed and the plot either ends (if the MacGuffin was used properly) – or it implodes.
    Which is why the fourth Indy movie sucks.

    They reach the MacGuffin, which is supposed to be the skull.
    At which point they should either use it – or lose it and continue the quest (the pursuit after the skull)… except they don’t do either of those.
    They “lose” the skull to the Russians – but now Indy starts working WITH the Russians. Thus the skull is not lost… nor used – despite Galadriel pretending to use it to brainwash Indy.

    No, wait… they are now successfully escaping the Russians. Now they will use the skull and for that we will fast forward to the final location… No, wait… Now Mac is pushing the plot along by leading the Russians to them?
    Wait, wait, wait… hold on. Mac WAS working with the Russians all along.

    He’s the reason they have Indy in the trunk at the beginning of the movie and why after the Area 51 alien turns out NOT to be the Akator alien Russians kidnap Oxley (who found the skull and went insane) to get Indy to find the skull for them…
    Mac now leads the Russians to Akator… and then he just decides to write himself out of the story by letting go of Indy’s whip, ending sucked up in the alien vortex…
    Is Mac’s mother’s maiden name perhaps Guffin?

    Cause he’s been pushing the plot of that movie more than the skull did… except the skull was STILL the designated MacGuffin.
    Realization of which, it fulfilling its purpose, ends the movie.
    Not Mac’s death which is incidental TO the use of the skull.
    Also, stupid and pointless.

    Movie should have ended when they escaped the Russians – but then we’re out of the satisfaction of the final confrontation with the villain… which wasn’t that confrontational anyway… nor was the villain that villainous… which is why the movie needed another “secret” villain who is behind it all to push the story along… but that character is not taking the place of the villain but of the MacGuffin and he’s not that villainous either and…

    Oh no! Mac is my dead cat we buried in the woods inside an Amazon cardboard box… no wait… my dead cat’s skull is Irina Spalko and she’s after the One Ring… no… It’s the giant ants… no… I got it!

    PALPATINE’S BEHIND IT ALL!!

  • Thanatos Lover

    that’s not how this works. You decided to get involved in my life, now I’m gonna hold you to it. We’re gonna be best bros FOR LIFE. You’re gonna think to yourself “this guy must have better things to do” but you’re gonna be wrong, I’ll always be back. Maybe next time, you’ll learn to be more polite to strangers, because you never know when you’re going to run across a fucking psycho… However an apology would make things all better and we can go our separate ways.

  • Domo

    Greenpeace salutes you for caring about the environment.

    It’s the little things that are gonna make this world a better place.

  • DeadWife

    I liked Force Awakens when it came out, NOW IT SUCKS!

  • ikdks

    Ok, I think I see what’s going on here.

    So who exactly is controlling the narrative? Do they control the media, Hollywood and global banking?

    The only good Nazi’s a dead Nazi.

  • Troll Prince The White

    So you are going to go around killing 90 year old men?

    Sounds really brave of you.

    Regressives control the narrative. They have many words for them – leftist, communist, globalist, liberal, statist, progressive – but it’s all the same soup. In the United States it’s supporters of the Democrat Party. They control 90% of the media and 100% of the Windows 95 media.

    I call them the CTRL-LEFT.

    They decide what you see and don’t see, how it is spun, they give you the context and tell you who is to blames. And it’s always the same.

    You’re in the Matrix, son… think about it… you are talking tough about a political movement that was destroyed 70 years ago.

    Who put it in your head that there are Nazis running around? And that they are some threat to any one?

    Who made up that bogeyman?

  • The Jasonator

    pretty funny guys! probably your best acting yet!! LOL Whats next, testifying in front of congress that smoking is not addictive??

  • The Jasonator

    lego batman!! just saw hidden figures last night, great movie

  • Mark Bisone

    Look, you are very, very wrong about this. The reason, oddly enough, is similar to George Lucas’ misunderstanding of his own MacGuffin. He said some very moronic things about the Death Star plans, proving he didn’t even understand his own film’s “MacGuffin”, even while correctly identifying it as such. He’s the guy who likes to say “things to make himself seem smart”, and always fucks it up.

    George thought the audience was supposed to care about such plot devices, every bit as much as they cared about the characters and their relationships (see George’s infamous inability to direct actors in a scene). Hitchcock, who invented the term, said “the audience doesn’t care about the MacGuffin.” And he was right! We don’t care about Maltese Falcons or Arks of the Covenant or Laser Moon blueprints. These are devices used to craft compelling scenes and drive the plot forward. The “Death Star plans” don’t blow up the Death Star — Luke blows up the Death Star, using space magic. That’s the story. And if we didn’t have a connection to Luke (and Han, and Leia, and Obi Wan), we wouldn’t care about Death Stars blowing up either.

    In fact, on a story level, the plans aren’t even there for the purpose of blowing it up. They exist mainly to get our heroes together on the Millenium Falcon, which will ultimately result in them rescuing Leia. Without that MacGuffin, the plot could have just been that Leia personally knew the Death Star’s fatal weakness, and therefore needed to be rescued. But with the MacGuffin in place, we have a clear (and mobile) motivation for the villains as well, so they can help tell Luke’s “leaving the farm” story. The plans aren’t a thing we, the audience, care about. It’s something the characters in the story care about. Those are two very different kinds of caring, which Hitchcock knew very well, and which Lucas heard at a cocktail party once.

    One problem might be that you are confusing plot with story, and lending the former too much importance. Unfortunately, that’s Hollywood’s problem too, these days.

  • Darkling

    Yep. I’d post links, but they’re not allowed here. Search for “rogue one assembled cut” and “rogue one indie hour”.

  • Darkling

    Oh. I stand corrected, then.

  • Darkling

    Fair enough. I don’t claim to be an authority on TOS – TNG was always more my thing.

    So basically, Abrams was taking what he /thought/ was iconic about Star Trek and chucking it at the screen. I agree that, from the sounds of it, Simon Pegg’s story for ST Beyond was much more in keeping with the original show.

    Well, there are rumours floating around about scenes that Carrie Fisher filmed for Episode VIII, but I’ll avoid spoilers unless you say otherwise.

    Must say it’s nice to meet someone on the Internet who’s willing to engage in a civilised and intelligent discussion about things, rather than immediately resorting to insults and blind refusal to consider the other person’s point of view. Glad to meet you, Brian. =)

  • Darkling

    Yes, I agree that the Star Destroyer was very likely jamming the Tantive IV’s transmissions above Tatooine. But, going solely from the context of ANH, we have no idea how much time had passed before that scene.

    In the context of ANH as originally released, though (ignoring Rogue One), I guess we can assume that Leia fled with the plans as soon as she got them, with Vader in hot pursuit. She was unable to transmit the plans to anyone else while in hyperspace, and as soon as she emerged over Tatooine, Vader’s Star Destroyer immediately began jamming her ship’s transmissions.

    It’s just that Rogue One makes it abundantly clear that the plans could have been transmitted from the flagship to any number of other Rebel ships at Scarif. As Mark Bisone said, it was a MacGuffin that didn’t need to be poked at /quite/ so hard in Rogue One, because it started to fall apart as a result.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    It didn’t add confusion as make so much actually make sense to me.

  • Troll Prince The White

    cool thanks

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Fucking off was exactly what I was talking about!

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    If you could only see…as I do.

  • Chris Hiss

    Couldn’t agree more.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    That just proves it’s an auteur film.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    It can depend on your taste. Lots of people liked the Extended Universe Star Wars stories, although obviously it was sometimes a coin toss whether said book would be good or awful. To me this is kind of just the film equivalent.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I would just complain that that wasn’t in the movie, just the trailer.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    It’s arguable he kills one less, because it’s more obvious that the one he pins to the wall with a knife is still alive. Then Batman crushes his balls.

    10/10

  • spynet3I5

    Sr. Garcia, do you try to tear people down because you’re secretly scared that your wife passed down her vitiligo to your ugly kids?

  • spynet3I5

    I bet your guilty pleasure movie is Brokeback Mountain.

  • fred

    I can’t wait to visit the spice mines of kessel, or whatever, it will be great JUST FUCKING GREAT.

  • JackDeth

    Your trolling is very avant garde. Are you David Lynch?

  • spynet3I5

    No, but thanks for the compliment. So seriously why do you like tearing people down? What makes you just want to insult people you don’t know for having opinions you don’t agree with? Why can’t you give your opinion in a respectful way? Let’s get into this because, as you noticed, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you.

  • JackDeth

    I like trolling the trolls. Especially the ones with thin skin and an obliviousness to how ineffective their trolling is. Like you.

  • Thanatos

    LOL holy shit I’ve never seen someone so pathetic!

  • spynet3I5

    But by “trolling the trolls” (which makes no sense btw, you are just making smartass comments at people who are voicing their opinion) doesn’t that, in fact, make YOU the troll? They say that we often project our view of ourselves on others, so what do you think this says about you?

    Ps I love you

  • JackDeth

    Not sure how you could be confused by what I wrote. It’s pretty clear.

  • spynet3I5

    Did you miss the part in parenthesis somehow? Let me explain: while I’ve been stalking you, I’ve noticed that all you have been doing is finding posts you think you can pick on, like a brain dead high school bully, and replying with a smartass comment. These people weren’t trolls, they were just voicing their opinions on a thing that they love. That’s what really attracted me to you and why I think we’re going to be lifemates. FOR-EV-ER

  • Darkling

    Yes, I agree with you now. An actual example of a MacGuffin would have been this – right?

    Princess Leia has information the Empire wants back. The Empire chases her to Tatooine, where she sends the info down with Artoo. Luke finds Artoo and tries to return the info to Alderaan. Luke, Han and the others free Leia from the Empire and flee to the Rebel base. The Imperials follow, and there’s a big battle in which Luke helps the Rebels win. The Rebels celebrate their victory.

  • Darkling

    By an inexperienced hack auteur, sure.

  • Mark Bisone

    In a galaxy far, far away?

  • QueenBeefy

    Oh god you three had me in stitches with the coffee slurping, the criticism of “enjoyment”, and the self-congratulatory comments about profoundness.

    And, of course, Rich Evan’s contagious cackle.

  • xn0

    But was it “better” for you then? I didn’t get that from the Ultimate Ed.

  • DeColonise

    haha. Nice video.

    There are so many of these videos out there that are sooooo serious and sooooo boring to listen too.

  • Eternal_Turnip

    I thought the UE was better, in so much as a dried cow shit is better than a fresh, sloppy one

  • Troll Prince The White

    Lucas said it was a McGuffin. But he’s an idiot who doesn’t understand movies.

  • Troll Prince The White

    Holy shit… the assembled cut… is this the definition of a hack fraud?

    Isn’t he just copying shots from other movies???

  • Omis

    I prefer Spaz Crate.

  • Brian Levine

    Honestly, I think it’s less a criticism of the movie (thought it certainly deserves some) and more a commentary on everyone going insane over it.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go open my dork-cachet.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Yeah, but I didn’t really hate the original cut. But I was certainly flummoxed by stuff like Superman being blamed for shooting people or everyone being up in arms about Batman supposedly branding people to make them targets in prison. It also strengthens Luthor’s character when you find out he’s behind all this stuff.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Tomato, tomahto.

  • Darkling

    To be fair, I think the assembly cut was more so Edwards could get an idea of the /pacing/ of the movie, ie how long each scene should be. I doubt that he recreated the scenes from those other movies shot-for-shot.

    But I think it does call into question his ability as a storyteller if he couldn’t figure out how the movie should play out without having that template to work from.

  • Troll Prince The White

    The opening shot looked reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally familiar.

  • doctorr

    But no one is going “insane” about it. It worked for some people and the RLM guys are obsessed with going on and on about how that’s not a valid opinion.

  • Duckler

    This was better when I didn’t know that there were other people online who where actually doing internet things and interested in this new Star Wars stuff that I’ll see at some point. Thanks internet.

  • elladeon

    Please tell me there will be more of these. I need this in my life. And in my ears.

  • Mikkel Rasmussen

    I completely disagree on their R1 review and thought the plinkett replies were quite bad. So why can’t I stop watching this? This is the 4th time I’ve seen this.

  • jimmy

    Ok, I watched it and I get it now. This was pretty good.

    Still, I loved R1. Loved… loved..

  • William R. Black

    I’ve never seen podcasts parodied like this before, and this was so spot-on and hilarious. The funniest thing y’all have done in a while. Lot of literal lols, especially at “Nerdbox.”

  • More. Rogue. One. Content. Please.

  • Alex Lee

    In a world of Star Wars: Rebels and The Force Unleased, we really don’t need more stuff in-between 3 and 4.

  • Darkling

    Word that. I hate the fact that TV schlock like The Clone Wars and Rebels are now considered canon, to the point where characters and starships (eg the Ghost, Saw Gererra, etc) are now awkwardly shoehorned into the movies. I mean, even Lucas never crammed references to the Droids and Ewoks cartoons into the prequels.

  • Alex Lee

    I thought that the dumb midi-clorians were the setup for cloned Jedi and the Jedi council got into huge lightsaber fights with their evil equivalent. Stupid? Yes, but if you’re going to have 200 Jedi fighting in an arena, you might as well do it more often than once.

  • Alex Lee

    “You gotta make sure to take his pants off.”

  • Tyler Smith

    As a movie podcaster (who regularly wears open-up shirts over his T-shirts), this hit a little too close to home.

  • Joe

    So is the irony of a bunch of RLM sycophants mocking Rogue One enjoyers as “fanboys” lost on everybody here, or just most people?

    Come on, disqus people, most of you are better than this.

  • Joe

    Are you always this unwelcoming towards people who liked a movie that you found boring?

    Why is exaggerated emoting like TFA the only way to do a “good movie”? This movie had characters that followed both character and narrative logic, that got me invested in the story. I don’t get why Rogue One haters seem so entitled to have everybody agree with their sourpuss “so boring” claim.

  • Joe

    Apparently Rogue one deserved much more criticism.

  • DeadWife

    “(Rogue one) is very hard to see” – Rich Evans

  • Pop Culture Reference

    No, really they’re not.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Action and vistas! GeekCrate!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Try dieting.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    That’s right, Jay. I totally agree with what you’re saying. This comment should get a 9 out of 10. Don’t forget our sponsor, GeekCrate!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I favor DorkBucket.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Isn’t Congress too busy getting handjobs from all the oil and coal industry lobbyists?

  • RLMkeepitup

    you’re making this a meme arent you

  • Nick Poliskey

    Funny, but we can’t get a real review of this super original film?

  • Nick Poliskey

    And I’m retarded, there is one..

  • TitusAndronicusForever

    IT BROKE NEW GROUND!

  • stryker1121

    I’d prefer not.

  • stryker1121

    Dear Rogue One fans: RLM is mocking you, your sensibilities, and your entire value system through this video parody.

    Thank you for your attention.

  • Burgerlord

    Maybe it’s just me, but I get the feeling that they were being sarcastic.

  • Burgerlord

    Geek Box, FTW!

  • Frank Retort

    Of course this is sarcasm, but it really just plays like a distraction from the terrible TFA review. Some of the very same negatives they brought up about other films turned to positives in the TFA review, then returned to being negatives in the R1 review. The inconsistency just makes one take the reviews a lot less ‘seriously’, and this just looks like a silly attempt at a distraction from that.

    No, it’s not that we have to hate R1, it’s that we don’t like TFA (because it was just terribly over-hyped and overrated).

  • Neal Hyde

    Was this brilliant satire ad libbed or pre conceived?

  • Jonah Falcon

    LIGHTSABER.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I give this podcast an 11 out of 10. This comment brought to you by DorkBucket.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I liked Rogue One (with reservations) and I thought this was funny as hell.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Exclusive content? My fave!

  • stryker1121

    I know, I was being a jerk-o. I liked Rogue One, too, but agree with the RLM crew in the sense that it wasn’t the movie I wanted – a “quieter,’ less bombastic spy or heist flick with the epic battle stuff in the background.

  • Now I Get It

    “…delicate differences…discussed and debated…”

    About “MacGuffin”, despite everything written we seem to be in a time of pre-definition, e.g., TVTropes can only describe the concept, and in a way that makes it interchangeable with “plot device”. (Also – count’em! – 35 different types.) So, no real clarity there.

    In terms from our editing thread (Pts. 1&3), a MacGuffin’s identity is equivocal, in that it’s a prop best suited for use in dramatic business yet is used as an object of dramatic action.

    And true to its proppy nature, the rule for its use inverts the rule for dramatic action. Instead of “show don’t tell,” we get “tell don’t show.” Was the Maltese falcon worth all that? Well, they all thought so. Did Roy Hobbs really hit all those homeruns? The movie’s editor says “Yes.”

    As a device, then, I’d say that the MacGuffin is most like the rhetorical question, to wit: “If you had the chance to steal the Maltese falcon/run the Jericho Mile/kill the Death Star, would you do it?” The fact that some would answer “Yes” and others “No” is what necessitates the story.

    Similarly, again in terms of our editing thread (Pts. 1&3), I would define your concept of “story” (as opposed to “plot”) as: story is the plot as described from the main character’s point-of-view, with an emphasis on how pursuing his goal changed his inner life.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    When has racing to the bottom of a bottle of Scotch even been considered “research”?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    BvS is the worst thing since Atlas Shrugged.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The best way to destroy PC speech codes is with anti-PC speech codes! Deliciously Orwellian, sir!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Back in my day you could rent a room at the finest hotel, shoe your horse, eat a steak, and spend the night with an upscale hooker all for a fat quarter. Now we have all this political correctness nonsense and third-stage syphilis isn’t seen as a badge of masculine honor.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Enough with the adverbs!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    If that 90 year old man was a guard at a concentration camp, an extra reason to bayonet his cranium.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I don’t remember Ho Chi Minh being that furry.

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