Space Cop Behind the Scenes: Making Aliens

April 19, 2014730 Comments

Production on Space Cop slowly but surely chugs along. RLM tends to be involved in pretty much every aspect of production, but outside assistance was required in bringing our alien characters to life.



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Filed in: Feature FilmsVlogs

  • oh

    ahoi

  • dollar store cashier wife

    props and sets? ever heard of green screen ya hack frauds? unsubscribed

    • sepiajack

      “You mean I can have a background without going to the background???!!! Use that bloated actor Val Kilmer, we’re gonna need a big green screen!!!”

  • G@BRIEL GR@Y

    SPACE COP!

    “This is my most treasured possession.”

    *Smash

  • G@BRIEL GR@Y

    “He longs for his dead wife.”

    • sepiajack

      In the future she’s dead… in the present she’s not yet born

      “This photo of my dead wife. This is my most treasured possession.”

  • questin

    Space Cop better be in 4k!

  • Sidewinder

    Serious question. Is Space Cop a hoax? Is it really being made or have these guys risen to a new level of hack-fraudery and just doing Space Cop shorts?

    • LelouchtheFilial

      No, they’re paying homage to the old Space Cop serials of the 40′s.

      • Robert Pigott

        It’s gonna be great…

        • Jeremy Davis

          They may have gone too far in a few places.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            I wonder sometimes if half the comments posted on here are just “It’s gonna be great” montages.

          • ThomasHFoolery

            Who knows? Either way, it’s gonna be great.

          • Jeremy Davis

            They may have gone too far in a few places.

          • Percy Gryce

            If only . . . .

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This is a perfect opportunity to be one of those fans!

    • sepiajack

      The kind who watches Care Boars all the way to the end more than once????

      I’m just kidding there’s no such thing.

    • Cameron Vale

      I can top that.

      • Percy Gryce

        Did RLM–like Jorge–keep the merchandizing rights?

      • Percy Gryce

        It just occurred to me: this needs an Amazing Bulk background.

  • eddyk

    Will it be in 48fps?

    • Percy Gryce

      3-D? Imax? Imax 3-D?

    • HNSZ

      They call it HFR now. No I don’t know why.

      • Kenlin Bros

        Hack Fraud Rate.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Hey you fucks! When’s the next episode of Rich Evans Draws?!

    • TJ

      Kinda reminds me of Abe Sapien from Hellboy

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Sy Ableman was from A Serious Man, you idiot.

        • TJ

          “I fucked your wife, Larry” – Hellboy

    • http://about.me/hexeno Hexeno

      Is there something this man can’t do?!

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Run.

      • Duckler

        Not get Diabetes?

      • Striker, Ted

        Not be a hack?

    • ChachaIaca

      >Rich Evans Draws

      I’d watch that.

    • Mark Bisone

      They tried 1000 different versions of Rich Evans in his draws, but nothing was really working. Wearing your draws outside your pants is really just a throwback to the strongman era, so they went with the sculpted bulb-cock tights instead.

      • Duckler

        I spot random 3D printer guy’s artwork!

      • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

        he will give the people something to strive against

      • Too ashamed to write my name

        I’d strive against that humongous Rich Evans bulge.

      • Cameron Vale

        If they’re dispensing with throwbacks, they should also ditch the cape and emblem from the age of heraldry. And that retro long underwear. But that would make him naked, and therefore a throwback to ancient Greek athletics.

        • Mark Bisone

          That would be oddly appropriate, considering Rich’s legendary prowess in the 50-Meter Stumble.

  • sepiajack

    Love behind the scenes stuff like this for true movie magic, keep up the great work guys!

  • Gabriel Martino

    Holy fuck, do you really need that many copies of Nukie?

    • Percy Gryce

      Yes, yes, they do.

  • WolfHandFrogHand

    The masks look very “Enemy Mine.” I wonder if that was intentional.

    • ident

      As one of the few who saw that movie, yes. As their lawyer, no.

      • Percy Gryce

        Hang on, there. I want to be their lawyer.

        • ident

          By the binding precedent set forth in Florida Bar v. Spring Hill Elementary (1977), my time-stamped comment, preceding your own by nearly 30 minutes, amounts to a legally binding invocation of “I called it”.

          • Percy Gryce

            Tsk, tsk, you’ve forgotten that Spring Hill Elementary was overturned by Spadewski v. Rhodastein (1986), in which the Supreme Court of Guam enunciated the controversial principle that clients get to pick their own counsel–that’s also known as the “Fuck You” Rule.

          • ident

            Guam? Shall we also consider the decisions of the Federal Appeals Court of Narnia? Or the 9th Circuit? Come, man, let’s at least agree to be civilized.

          • Now I Get It

            Wow, you silver-suiters really play hardball. Don’t forget to bill each other for time spent composing and awaiting your replies. I know it comes out even but, WTF, it’s the principle of the thing.

          • Percy Gryce

            Tsk, tsk, again. It don’t come out even. My rate is much higher than Ident’s–if only by dint of the fact that I’ve got 100 years seniority on him.

          • Now I Get It

            Ah, yes, the pecking order. I should have remembered that, while I was reading you two beak it out.

            Another couple I housesat for, fairly wealthy, had a $1,000/hr. tax accountant. I’d pass along her business card, but somehow she managed an early retirement.

          • Percy Gryce

            Hey, at least I didn’t cite the Fundamental Declarations of the Martian colonies or the Necronomicon.

  • marko112kg

    That spaceship set makes me wanna see this film so much!

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Holy shit! A grey fish alien!
    Guys, I knew that Space Cop was going to be schlocky, but I wasn’t expecting a gritty ‘Zaat’ reboot.

    • Duckler

      Zaat‘s all folks..!

      • LelouchtheFilial

        Ah, for our German friends.

  • TJ

    Looking good gents, but when is “Space Cop 2: Part 1″ coming out?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Percy, is that your copy of Nukie that you sent them? Their other copies weren’t in that type of case. I should start sending them things and ask them to send me things in return.

    “A few strands of Rich Evans’ beautiful hair for my shrine will do. Thanks in advance!”

    “Sorry, Rich can’t spare anymore hair. You can have some of Jay’s beard, though.”

    Hnnnnnggggggggg.

    • Percy Gryce

      Incredibly perceptive of you. It was certainly one of the copies of Nukie that I included in my Nukie Party Pack:

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Oh my goooooooooooood!

  • Heinzy

    These behind-the-scene vids really make it seem like Mike, Jay and Rich are actually humans and not terrible frauds.

    • Mr. R

      Thats movie magic for you

    • Percy Gryce

      Whoa there, fella, let’s not get carried away.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Yeah, I know, Mike’s not even in this video.

        • LelouchtheFilial

          He’s in my ass.
          He’s in my ass-wallet.

          • Alex Lee

            “Get your finger out of my ass-wallet!”

    • ident

      Really? Cause all I see is a whole lot of not filming. But that’s ok…that’s ok…the best movies are in pre-production for at least a decade, right?

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Guns-N-Roses took forever to make Chinese Democracy, and Axl’s face turned out great!

        • Duckler

          Now there’s a funny right there!

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Stop trying to artificially raise my self-esteem, you jerk.

          • Now I Get It

            Jim Norton called to say he wants you back. He misses how you used to pee in his Coke. . . .Better?

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            He just liked it because I had terrible aim. That silly goose!

          • Now I Get It

            Ohmigawwwd! Confirmed for female! . . . Also, I’m thinking, reverse labiaplasty.

            http://media.giphy.com/media/wm0YdxEte2Fb2/giphy.gif

          • Mark Bisone

            Yeah, everyone knows you’re supposed to neg the living fuck out of her first, Duckler. Chicks dig mental scars.

    • Kenlin Bros

      We need Behind the Behind the Scenes to see them scripting how to not seem like fraud hacks. Or hack frauds.

  • Noah Roalson

    Guys, I’ll be visiting Wisconsin soon for a family reunion. I will be expecting a full welcoming party when I arrive on premise :)

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Of all the places for Wookies to get together, it had to be Wisconsin.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        That sounds like the closing line of the first chapter of some weird Star Wars comedy fan fiction. The Wisconsin Wookie is a funnier character than they’ve ever had.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          How can you get poetry out of The Wisconsin Wookie? It has to rhyme, y’know.

          • Percy Gryce

            Wisconsin Wookie.
            Miss Johnson’s cookie.

            Again, it’s like poetry, so that they rhyme. Every stanza kinda rhymes with the last one. Hopefully it’ll work.

  • Thanatos2k

    I would pay good money to see Rich Evans stuff himself into the Boba Fett armor.

  • Meester Smeeth

    I really need to get my shit together: Gotta open a PayPal account or start shopping on the United States’ Amazon.coms. Gotta get Oranges: Revenge Of The Eggplant, Feeding Frenzy, Gojira Interrupted, The Recovered and Archives Volume 1, and I really need to start acting like the fan I feel like I am inside me in preparation for The Space Cops – the most anticipated SF movie since Prometheus.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Or buy the poster, frame and hang it prominently in your home. When your friends come over, explain how it’s your favorite piece of art. The funny looks you receive are kinda priceless.

      • Meester Smeeth

        Yeah, right, as if I’m gonna go out and make friends just to show them a poster.

  • jaymanxyz2

    Aw, I was hoping for one of the classic RLM alien masks, like in Gorilla Interrupted and The Great Space Jam. But these are still awesome, and the effort behind this whole movie is just astonishing. Keep it up.

    • faraday

      Yeah, they already have perfectly fine alien mask!

  • CJ Lack

    Why don’t you hack frauds just admit to ripping off Zaat!?

    • Duckler

      They’d do anything for love, but they won’t do Zaat

  • locoma

    all the stuff this contracted artist made is incredibly awesome and I would pay to tour this guy’s house, but Jay’s mask wasn’t bad at all!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Are you kidding me? That alien looked like it had Down’s syndrome.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Actually, his mask resembles Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys.

        • Ogrot

          That was the original design George Lucas wanted for the Shatnerians. They were originally written to talk jive like seventies era racist stereotypes of urban youth.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            He might have gone too far in a few places.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Sloth before he was dropped on his head. Twice.

        • Meester Smeeth

          I used to get all kinds of fucked up watching that show. I’m ashamed of myself, really.

          • Now I Get It

            “Fraggle Rock” for me. That show put me into rehab, after I left the house as Marjory the Trash Heap.

            http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhxjmvrdDT1qd2avdo1_500.gif

          • Meester Smeeth

            Oh my lord, that is absolutely horrifying! haha

          • Now I Get It

            Dems da tremens, my fren, whetha urunnin’ downa street witture close on or off, dems da tremens.

          • Meester Smeeth

            What has he had?! Da tremens?! Let’s kick ass!

          • Now I Get It

            Ass? Ass?! When are you gonna buy something, you cheap Pommy bastard? Now let’s download this sucker – “Frenzied Revenge of the Gojira Archive Interrupted, Vol. Orange” – on “1.”

            http://www.dependabledrivein.com/_borders/countdown.gif

            Oops, missed it. …Oops, missed it. …Oops, missed it! Dammit! …Oops – sweet hissing hhhhfuck! – missed it again.

          • Meester Smeeth

            Here comes “2″!

          • Percy Gryce

            This thing is going to give me a seizure.

          • Now I Get It

            I’m not saying that that’s why Al Gore invented the internet, but . . . Never mind, forget I said anything, forget we spoke, forget this whole day. I was never here.

        • Mark Bisone

          Looks like someone went to work Galaxy Invader’s infant son with a ball-peen hammer.

        • Cameron Vale

          I think it looks like a CGI piece of crap.

          • TJ

            Is this another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles teaser?

      • Charlie Wilkinson

        What’s wrong with your FACE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        I also like that the mask came out of bin that has Special Effects in quotes. Even the box knew this mask was shit.

      • locoma

        what I mean is, even though the expression or design isn’t as good, Jay certainly knows how to make a mask. I appreciate the screenshot though ;)

      • WrongWithYourFace

        At least the mask has those weird cheek eyes… Jay’s been stealing notes from Mr. Evans?

      • Percy Gryce

        Looks like Jay gave the Toxic Avenger ringworm:

      • jaymanxyz2

        Hey, cut Jay some slack, the mask came a long way from its humble beginnings:

        …or perhaps not.

  • Wyldstaar

    Jay, you could have made a star exactly like that using a couple of sheets of craft foam in about ten minutes at a cost of around $3.

    • Percy Gryce

      Our hard-working, Midwestern boys are all about hands-on, homemade, bespoke costumes and props.

      • Now I Get It

        Oh, “bespoke” are we? Well, how good of you to come to tea.

        Theft: 10
        Aaron Sorkin: 0

      • Wyldstaar

        How is cutting out a couple of stars out of craft foam and gluing them together not hands-on and homemade?

        • Percy Gryce

          Stop asking perfectly logical questions.

    • Joe Syxpac

      They need crap from the movie to auction to some suckers on E-bay in order to fund their next movie. They have to be more durable than craft foam.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Jay you fucking asshole!”

    Funny, my grandmother said the very same thing to me last night… and my name isn’t even Jay. Wait, does this mean I’m confirmed for Jay?!

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      No. Your grandmother is, though.

  • http://about.me/hexeno Hexeno

    Where’s Mike?

    • LukeMM95

      Jay killed him in hopes that he would become the main star of RLM. Now all he has to do is “take care” of Mr Evans…

      • jaymanxyz2

        I want to see Jay try to voice a Plinkett review.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Jay wouldn’t be able to get through a single line without laughing. It would be terrible.

        • Duckler

          I’d buy Zaat for a dollar!

  • Percy Gryce

    Another tape I sent in makes it on screen. Hooray me. And I was just headed out to the Goodwill to look for more copies of Nukie.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      If you look below, I spotted your contribution. :) How does it feel to have something you touched also touched by Jay?

      • Percy Gryce

        You’re a regular Jeremy Renner.

        • Jean-François Martel

          imma need an explanation to that reference, but i’m still upvoting because of a mention to Jeremy Renner

          • Percy Gryce

            Hint: What role did Renner play in Thor 1 and Avengers 1?

          • ident

            Iron Man. I get it now. Because he’s hard like Iron Man.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Jay does that to people… ;)

          • WrongWithYourFace

            Yay! I’m a people!

            Side-note: Instead of typing “yay” I accidentally typed “Jay” at first… What does this mean?

          • Duckler

            Schlock death.

          • Jean-François Martel

            i’m just gonna pretend i get it now.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            He’s saying he has eyes like a hawk, and knows what to do with 11 arrows.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Not gonna lie, I needed your hint to get this joke.

          • Percy Gryce

            You’re not mentally living in the extended Marvel cinematic universe? I watch the last half of The Avengers every night before I go to bed.

            Or maybe I was thinking about The Town where he wears a hockey mask and beats the shit out of lowlifes.

            Or maybe I was thinking about American Hustle where he plays an overly trusting Pisan.

            Whatever. If the glue sniffs, share it.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I thought you meant I was really good at defusing bombs… and taking away Academy Awards from Avatar.

          • Percy Gryce

            Touché.

    • Jean-François Martel

      hmm, sorry i was distracted by Jay’s banging body i missed it.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Milwaukee Beer Bellies!

  • Gene Parmesan

    Stop working so hard, and doing things you enjoy! It makes us feel bad about ourselves.

  • LukeMM95

    I didn’t know you guys still had so much to do on Space Cop. I assumed by this point, you’d be getting into post-production. Shows how little I know about low budget filmmaking.

    • Boehm

      It also doesn’t help that they have other shows to do as well, which slows down their film making.

      • Duckler

        Yeah, that production of On The Waterfront starring the Care Bores isn’t going to make itself you know.

    • Percy Gryce

      I’m guessing that this footage is a bit old and that they’re just releasing it now ’cause they didn’t want our Easter baskets to be empty.

      • Now I Get It

        What, they couldn’t just make a nice paska?

        http://www.redlettermedia.com/feedingfrenzy/images/feeding_frenzy_still_6.jpg

        In the former Crimea, paska eats you.

        Theft: 11
        Yakov Smirnoff: 0

        • WrongWithYourFace

          Which paska were you speaking of again?

          • Now I Get It

            Ah, yes, which of the many paskas? Think hrudka, not marjat. There, that should clear it up.

          • WrongWithYourFace

            You can try to clear it up but we both know the stains never come off.

          • Now I Get It

            True. That saffron sticks like shit to a blanket.

  • itsjusttissue

    harryhausen would’ve been delighted

  • Jeremy Davis

    Rich Evans wanted to do some really weird things with the alien masks…. I want to do some really weird things to Rich Evans.

    • Jeremy Davis

      I can’t go into too much detail because of the restraining order but it involves a trapeze, a pressure cooker, six gallons of cooking lard, a carburetor from a 1968 Dodge Dart, and a midget with a camera.

  • Memoman

    Another super hero movie!? And a gritty reboot to boot! Goddamn it…

  • Martin the Warrior

    Having an actor in a costume looks hard. Have you tried replacing it with a generic CGI piece of crap?

    • ident

      The key is to film it in shadows and never truly reveal it. It also helps if the shadows don’t look like a waterhead baby in a fat suit.

      • Duckler

        Okay, wow.. Zaat may not have been appropriate.

  • Jean-François Martel

    Is the Alien played by Nadine?

    • dollar store cashier wife

      knowing rlm they probably just gonna cast her as a hooker for the 3rd time.

    • Heinzy

      Girl got amazing range.

      • Percy Gryce

        She’s a regular Sigourney Weaver–from Half Moon Street to Alien 3.

        • Heinzy

          Dare I say; she’s the female equivalent of Rich Evans?

          • LelouchtheFilial

            No. Rich Evans is inimitable– there is no other. Man? Woman? What specimen can even hope to capture the essence of what Rich Evans is?
            It’s why Jay needed to correct himself when he said “it’s a boy!” He knew that “it’s a Rich Evans” was much more proper, for Richevans cannot be compared with other human beings, not even in gender. He (IT!) has transcended us.

          • Percy Gryce

            Tru dat. Rich Evans is descended from the Nephilim, that race of giants that coupled with the daughters of men.

          • Alex Lee

            Tru Dat.

          • Peter Rivest

            Not quite. He’s what the daughters of men squirted out. Still special! But in an abomination sort of way. (oops… thought you said he was Nephilim. I still stand by what I say!)

          • ident

            You fucked up your scripture, blasphemer. 10 Hail Marys.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            I have no idea how listening to a Tupac song ten times will absolve him of his religious sins.

          • Like Icare
    • Alex

      What’s wrong with her faaaaaace?

  • BlubberTime

    You know Spacecop is never gonna beat Titanic…Nobody can…

  • TJ

    Anyone else think for a second that Jocelyn was Jessie or am I still drunk?

    • Alex Lee

      So that’s who she is! I kept thinking, “Is that Jessie? No.”

    • Now I Get It

      Yes.

  • Duckler

    “We’re gonna need a bigger Nukie shelf..”

  • Duckler

    It’s a dark comedy. Like Schindler’s List

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Is it more like To Kill A Mockingbird or Roots?

      • Now I Get It

        That’s right. In an homage to Atticus Finch, Rich Evans plays Space Cop’s ritual circumcision for laughs.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Because everything Rich Evans does is pure comedy gold!

          • Now I Get It

            Of course. Still, let’s wait to see what the Evans lambskin fetches on eBay. (Apparently, it comes in its own Star of David puzzle box to reduce over-handling.)

            http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bcw4LXFUyjw/T2iSoE6UNpI/AAAAAAAAAZ8/DieOU414kl0/s1600/IMG_4659.JPG

          • catnep

            But what horrors lurk inside the cute little puzzle box? It’s all fun and games until someone gets a hook in the eye.
            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQ4dnBrtrWc

          • Now I Get It

            Historically, the use of cube hooks has led to charges of blood libel and foreskin trimmings that weren’t kosher. That’s why enlightened movie Mohels have always preferred cute little spheres.

            http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3truWBECAEs/TVYmekuCOFI/AAAAAAAAE8U/jW5KnGUoBfw/s1600/The-Tall-Man-Phantasm.jpg

            “Boyyy!”

          • catnep

            Phantasm! That brings back memories. Really tormented my wombspace back in the day. (I should probably explain that I suffered from a rare congenital anomaly that has since been corrected). There are few horror characters as creepy as the Tall Man! Freddie, Jason, even Michael Myers aren’t fit to lick his orb. Which was a great MacGuffin by the way… so glad I learned that term. It sounds like I know what I’m talking about.

          • Now I Get It

            That flick gave me an unshakeable fear of being grabbed from behind through walls, windows, and darkened stairwells by disembodied hands. The filmmakers should have bought the actor’s birth certificate out from under him and instead called the Tall Man Angus Scrimm, which is a timelessly villainous name. And speaking of things that grab onto other things and won’t let go . . .
            http://www.lassothemovies.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Cronos-1993-2A.png

            . . . what was that about a wombspace?

          • catnep

            That handset looks very familiar but I’m not sure. Is it the one that goes with this baby monitor?

            http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/6b/19/4a6881b0c8a05baf2926a110.L.jpg

          • Now I Get It

            Actually, I can hardly believe it but yes. Also, I can’t believe you found a pic as tasteless as that gif of Grover’s handjob. Also, do you think Amazon would ship the wombspace, uhm, without the facehugger?

          • catnep

            You’re in luck! The Amazon warehouse has a surplus of wombspaces. But if you want the Express Shipping you’re going to have to buy some Grover mittens or something.

            http://lickthestranger.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/alien-egg-farm-small.jpg

          • Now I Get It

            Funny, that’s just how I imagine Amazon, only with taller shelves, narrower catwalks, and a constant flow workers’ comp. claims for paper cuts.

            But I promise that, if I quit RLM first, I’ll leave you those Grover mittens for dicking the birthday boy. And if you quit first, I’ll have Showbiz Pizza Bear stuffed with cheese, baked, then served cold the next morning, after I’ve left him out overnight in a box on the coffee table. Then I’ll dick the birthday boy…obviously.

          • catnep

            What are you implying? Shocking! There is no quitting.
            According to The Rules, and in addition to the amendment of being blind drunk, these are the only methods in which you may depart without really leaving:

            recess

            interruption

            breathing space

            hesitation

            halt

            intermission

            stoppage

            lapse

            interval

            hiatus

            interlude

            layoff

            letup

            respite

            suspension

            hitch

            lull

            rest

            freeze

            hush

            interim

            comma *editor’s note* or coma!

            discontinuance

            stillness

            stopover

            stay

            break

            gridlock

            abeyance

            downtime

            hesitancy

            standstill

            caesura

            lacuna

            gap

            stand

            cessation

            deadlock

            coffee break

            cutoff

            interregnum

            happy hour

            break-off

            breathing spell

            pausation

            rest period

            time out

          • Now I Get It

            What, no seizures?

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed0Hg7stjHE

            And especially SEIZURES!

          • Now I Get It

            What, no seizures?

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed0Hg7stjHE

            And especially SEIZURES!

          • catnep

            Yes to seizures, but beware of leeeeisure!

            http://www.wordspy.com/words/leisuresickness.asp

          • Now I Get It

            Another fascinating site, as it seems less glib than Urban Dictionary. I’m not sure where these anecdotes fit, but they seem to confirm something.

            Some 20+ years ago, I worked two stretches of 60 hour weeks at a job I disliked. Afterwards, during my time off, I went back into work anyway because I couldn’t settle myself down to do anything at home. Four-and-three-quarter years ago, I finished writing a play that I (still) love, then got summarily sick, literally all over, with a sinus infection, shingles, and another affliction I won’t mention except to say that it took six dozen suppositories to calm it the fuck down.

            I wouldn’t cite their cause as leisure per se, as both episodes came after a big push, so to speak, at work. I’ve read similar anecdotes about big time movie directors, who collapse into bed once they’ve completed the editing. I think it has to do with being so busy that you go without proper sleep and food. It’s like you can be strong as long as you have to be strong, but the minute you let up…

            I wish I had something funny to reply with. I suppose the suppository thing will have to do.

          • catnep

            That was very interesting actually! I think you’re probably right, the ‘big push’ to finish a project creates a deficit of sorts. The extra energy supply (if you don’t eat or sleep right) is going to be from adrenaline. If you’re stressing your adrenals over time, you’re bound to get sick when you stop suddenly. I experienced that the last time I moved house. Once everything was packed up in storage and the place cleaned up, I fell apart with the whole gamut of flu symptoms. But everything was done so it was okay to be mess!

            I don’t have any funny suppository stories to go with this!

          • Now I Get It

            Moving always makes me want to end it all.

            7.62 mm full glycerin jacket

            http://www.lorrainespharmacy.com/compounding/photos/Suppositories-1.jpg

            Theft: 16
            Pvt. Pyle: 0

          • catnep

            The design has been streamlined a lot since the original model!

            http://www.downies.com/aca/Auction310/aca/images/lots/310/26.jpg

          • catnep

            How can we get you to submit your play to RLM?

          • Now I Get It

            I’m afraid you’d have to talk to the actor from the reading – there’s always one – who can confirm the play’s Z-grade crappiness for the impresarios at RLM. Or at least you could, if he was still with us. I heard he dropped dead after I didn’t reply to his Parthian email, re: his controlling interest in my script.

          • Now I Get It

            My post below still feels incomplete, as it implies that one unhappy actor caused me to quit my own play. Not so.

            To shorten the story, I spent several months after that trying to produce the play, only to discover that, as good as I am at making to-do lists and getting things done, I’m not a producer. But that misadventure did lead me to the wider question of why things almost always go wrong in the arts, despite the fact that everyone involved wants to be there.

            For the record: the play works well, at least on paper, as it is what’s called “well-made.” Its story goes: “A small-time contractor conspires to demolish the romantic notions of his client and crew, in this coming-of-age comedy of disembarrassment.”

            http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/004/5/b/deercat_by_da_bu_di_bu_da-d70x3qn.jpg

            P.S. I don’t know if your were serious in the first place but, again my Deercat, thanks for asking.

          • Now I Get It

            You misspelled “poor.”

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            I might have meant Puree, as it looks like slop.

    • HNSZ

      I masturbated during the shower scene.

  • fskn

    This has better have stop motion and go motion AND CGI.

  • diehounderdoggen

    I’m genuinely excited for Space Cop and I know next to nothing about it.

    • UnShame

      It’s a movie about a cop
      from space.
      His name
      Rich Ev… I mean Space Cop.

    • jaymanxyz2

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSjRlhGezTA

      This will tell you everything you need to know about it.

      • Alex

        Why is SpaceCop less bald and less fat in the trailer? And why does he have a different star on his chest, whyyy? whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..

        • Ogrot

          Because this is the dark gritty reboot of Space Cop as re-imagined by Christopher Nolan, re-written by Damon Lindelof, and re-produced by George Lucas.

          WHICH MEANS IT STINKS!

        • Jeremy Davis

          stop asking completely logical questions!!

  • Peter

    For the CGI you guys should put Colin from Canada in the roach fridge until he does it for free.

    • Kenlin Bros

      You should also Nukie the fridge.

      *gets coat*

  • Peter Rivest

    That guy is an awesome talent. What’s he doing in fly over country?!! Or did you go to LA? Great division of labor Jay. A wise man knows when he needs help.

    • ident

      A wise man knows not to make a movie with Monopoly money and hand jobs. Jay is a lot of things. A lot of sexy, sexy things. But wise, he is not.

      • Peter Rivest

        Low Blow! oh wait… that’s what you wanted me to say.

  • moleman124

    Shut up and take my Space bucks

  • ident

    Then you’re missing at least two levels of irony.

  • JAGUART

    Jay’s mask looks like Charlie Brown’s Halloween Costume.

    • catnep

      It looks like a head of broccoli!

  • ChaosIsBeauty

    this barely cut it for my RLM fix, I’m getting the shakes pretty bad guys, stop holding out on me like this, I’ll buy whatever you want me to just make the Half in the bag and best of the worst withdrawals stop

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    This video has awakened my sexual prowess

    • Percy Gryce

      I think we need to see a gif to prove that.

      • Now I Get It

        Yes, pics or it didn’t fappen.

        • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

          well, basically, it made me feel like a kitten with a potato:
          http://i.imgur.com/j2PQR5T.gif

          • Now I Get It

            This is why Al Gore invented the internet.

          • ident

            The Internet and global warming? Truly the Edison of our times…

          • Percy Gryce

            The Edison and the Sir August de Wynter of our times.

          • Now I Get It

            Just a few years back I housesat for a couple, one of whom had a cousin who’d worked on Gore’s climate team. When Gore won the Nobel in 2007, the cousin declined to be named and, I believe, quit the team as he disagreed with their findings.

          • Percy Gryce

            I was going to comment on this very excited pussy, but that made me think of this:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJefPK_UkdM

          • Now I Get It

            The last time I went to sell my vinyl, I could not unload my Zevon. “I like Warren,” the clerk said, “but he just doesn’t sell.” Sure enough, no used music store I go to ever has any Zevon, not even in CD.

            P.S. “Bad Luck Streak in Dancing School” remains one of my all-time favourite album covers. There’s just something about those colours and that “lomographic” effect that I really like.

            http://i.ytimg.com/vi/PYemVvWEesc/0.jpg

          • Paul Schumann

            My boss in the tennis office where I string is always making jokes, so he’d be asking me where my acid was at when I put on electronic/house music while I worked. But he and I always agreed on Zevon.
            ‘Roland’ will always be one of my favorite songs of his.

          • Now I Get It

            My fondness goes from “Warren Zevon” (1976) to “Mutineer” (1995), then I lost track.

            His death was a real cautionary tale. I knew a card player who might have died of undiagnosed complications from his drinking, such as diabetes, as he just never went to the doctor. And it was a hell of thing to hear Zevon on Letterman saying that “I’m alright with [dying early],” and understating his fear of doctors as “one of those phobias that didn’t pay off.” Aargh.

            But in the right mood, I still binge on his stuff, just like right this minute I’m binging on mid-70s to mid-80s Lou Reed.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            You have nooo idea how badly I want to be that potato.

            Shit, did I just say type that out loud?

    • Percy Gryce

      I think we need to see a gif to prove that.

  • Yutaka Takenouchi

    It is his way of actually trying to make the best possible alien mask that he can. It’s stylistically designed to be that way and you can’t undo that. But you can diminish the effects of it.

    • Percy Gryce

      Never. Gets. Old.

  • Daniel Bellfield

    will pay $$$ for SPACE COP.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    And, on this day, Jesus said unto the masses, “You thought I would STAY dead? Hahaha, WHAT?! HAPPY BELATED APRIL FOOLS, BITCHES! Hey, where’s Judas? He used to LOVE my elaborate, supernatural pranks. I just wanted to tell him ‘no hard feelings’ and… oh, he… he WHAT? Oh… ohhh…”
    See, you can cross the line with your April Fools jokes sometimes, Jesus.
    Heheh… *cross* the line…
    So, happy Easter to the denizens of Redlettermedia. You ALL have shown me that, if God isn’t dead, then He must be seriously considering suicide.
    God (or Whatever) bless you all.

    • ident

      Judas’ greatest sin was to not wait one more day to betray Jesus and fucking us all out of a 3-day weekend.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        Waking up on a Monday is such a fucking bummer, though. Why would Judas put Jesus through that?

        • ident

          You’re right. It would be completely out of character for Judas to be so inconsiderate.

    • Jeremy Davis

      and lo, Jebus said “Stop bogarting that bong and pass it over here, man!”. Hence, the bong was passed and the disciples rejoiced as Jebus turned a fish into nachos and a loaf of bread into unlimited pizza rolls.

    • Thanatos2k

      You know, it’s possible the first Easter happened on April 1. That wacky Jesus.

    • Percy Gryce

      Χριστός ἀνέστη!

  • Jason Ross

    No.

  • faraday

    I saw Nadine! :D

    • Duckler

      Zaat can’t be right, can it?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And we have a new catchphrase: It’s a Rich Evans!

    On another note; that fish alien mask reminded me of The Creature from the Black Lagoon, which in turn reminds me of Zaat. Oh, rubber costumes, how I miss you!

    • Duckler

      A wild Rich Evans appears!

      • Joe Syxpac

        DUCKLER used MEME!

        It’s super effective!

  • Chingotchcook

    That lost shot of Jay looking through the T-1000 touched me in my happy place.

    • Duckler

      Did you get a receipt?

    • Percy Gryce

      Are you going to bring charges?

  • Duckler

    I look forward to your full documentary: “Asshats and Zaat: The Making of Space Cop

    • Thanatos2k

      “How Not to Make a Space Cop Movie”

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        “How to build suspense by never finishing the movie.”

  • Joe Syxpac

    I’m so excited!

    I can’t wait to pirate this shit!

    • jaymanxyz2

      But no one will want to pirate this movie. That’s the genius behind it. Aim low, sell high.

    • ident

      Why do you say hurtful things?

      • Joe Syxpac

        Someone once told me “honesty is the best policy”.

        • ident

          The same person once told me “if you can’t say something nice…”

          • Joe Syxpac

            “…start throwing stones?”

          • ident

            “…at a dead horse.”

          • Joe Syxpac

            “…that had it’s day.”

  • Benzo

    “Rich Evan Concept Art”
    Aww, that’s adorable!

    • Alex

      From the sensational 4-page Artbook of SpaceCop. Coming out this summer!

  • Alex

    Any chance, we’re gonna see Sheila in SpaceCop?

    • faraday

      I’m hoping for Gillian myself, in a sexy scene with Jay – Their chemIstry is OFF DA HOOK

  • John Dough

    It`s great to see Jocelyn again (Seriously cute) and because of so many women Redheaded women being on RLM I now have developed a taste for them.
    Anyone else have a taste for Redheaded women after seeing so many on RLM?
    Jessie and Jocelyn are super cute and Gillian is yummy as well. Damn those hacks.

    • Now I Get It

      Seriously? My dream is a foursome with Christina Hendricks, Maria Thayer, and Felicia Day. And, yes, they’re all redheads, but my thing is chins, and they’ve all got the same one, which just happens to be common among redheads – go figure – . . .

      http://www.krainatapet.pl/tapety/aktorzy/david_duchovny/duchovny00029.jpg

      also David Duchovny, who’s no redhead but whose chin can’t be denied.

      • Percy Gryce

        What about Scully?

        • Now I Get It

          My dear Percy, I can assure you that, despite Miss Bart’s new name and modern style, she is still just as troubled and not a woman that I would imagine myself at all in pursuit of. Of this durable fact you may seek confirmation from Messrs. Trenor and Rosedale, as well as the Dorsets. And, if I may, I do hope that your somewhat euphoric suggestion was brought on by a chummy concern and not by an over-indulgence in the laudanum. Your friend in discretion, . . .

          • Percy Gryce

            You’ve checked me and would mate with your next move, so I resign. You most deftly turned my off-the-cuff pic post back on me, and did so in a mirthfully Whartonian style–indeed I believe yours the first post to take cognizance of the origin of my screen name. Well played, sir, well played!

          • Now I Get It

            I’m streets ahead.

            Theft: 12
            Dan Harmon: 0

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I still remember that 1890s comment. I think I even replied to it [not sure how to check... never mind, I checked and I replied]:

            “This is the wittiest thing I read on this entire thread.”

            These comments section are a gold mine and when I participate in discussions on here I feel part of some weird, fucked up community [I'm sure RLM is a bit embarrassed by what we post] where most people set aside their differences and joke among one another, even if we are a bunch of hack frauds.

          • Percy Gryce

            Embarrassed by us? Have you heard or seen what comes out of Mike & Jay’s mouths?

            To be honest wid ya, Gubner, I think we class up the joint a bit.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            Jay can’t casually mention how he uses fleshlights and then NOT expect us to be aroused.
            I agree– WE’RE not embarrassing. We’re natural byproducts of Mike and Jay’s sensibilities.

          • Pa Kent Says Maybe

            Quite a bit, actually, but don’t let it go to your heads.

          • Percy Gryce

            Fair enough.

          • Now I Get It
          • Now I Get It

            I recall it, too, as one I got right, just as I recall others’ replies that were perfect, usually for having some bit of logic I missed. A few examples:

            Meester Smeeth: http://redlettermedia.com/red-letter-media-behind-the-scenes-shooting-zombies/#comment-1061646574
            Tapewormbike: http://redlettermedia.com/best-of-the-worst-night-beast-trick-or-treat-and-skull-forest/#comment-1104820884
            Catnep: http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-robocop-2014/#comment-1264263854
            Domo_Konnichiwa: http://redlettermedia.com/space-cop-behind-the-scenes-making-aliens/#comment-1350290551

            See also Percy Gryce’s avatar and the people I’ve confessed to thieving from. . . .Then the weird thing happens that as the reply is so surprising you can’t really banter with it, but as it’s so delightful you can’t just upvote it either. So, you end up “breaking character” to compliment its perfection.

            It’s a rare moment, but it suggests that we’re not really hack frauds at all and only call ourselves that, because most of us want to be perfect more often but aren’t sure how.

          • Percy Gryce

            Uh, we’re getting awfully nostalgic. I hope that doesn’t mean that our best days are behind us here.

            I was just rewatching the Indiana Jones Plinkett review–and it is more genius than I had remembered. I know they want to do other things, but I do I hope they don’t hold the pillow over Mr. Plinkett’s face too tightly.

            Viva el Plinketto!

          • Now I Get It

            No, it just means that there’s a change coming, for which we’ll need to bring our best, but only our best, while leaving the rest in the past. Hence, RLM’s suggestion on facebook that we rewatch BotW #11 . . .

            http://redlettermedia.com/space-cop-behind-the-scenes-making-aliens/#comment-1362311793

            or your own rewatching of Plinkett’s Indie review, which brought __________ back to you at this critical time. For my part, I’m on record as hinting that, in time, Mike will bring back Plinkett.

            http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-the-conjuring-only-god-forgives-blue-jasmine-and-things/#comment-1077496498

            After all, our heroes aren’t bohemians who wander into some dark wood and never come out, but nerds who travel and retrace the same ground repeatedly, not adventurers who get lost but explorers who map. But having been through those woods, Plinkett will emerged changed in a way that will surprise everyone, perhaps Mike most of all. But until Mike takes that turn, I’m afraid we’ll have nothing to discuss but ourselves.

            Theft: 13
            Percy Gryce: -1

          • Percy Gryce

            “or your own rewatching of Plinkett’s Indie review, which brought __________ back to you at this critical time.”

            To fill in the blank, I would pick the “Salem Wolfman Trials.”

            Percy Gryce: -1?!? I know I’m an asshole, but in the world of +1, upvotes, and likes, a -1 is like death.

            Putting all that nonsense aside, though, bene scripsisti. And did I discover the secret of BOTW #11?

            http://redlettermedia.com/quick-cuts-the-sacrament/#comment-1365501230

            Or was that just a weird coincidence?

          • Now I Get It

            You were right, it turns out, -1 is a thing. But, then, you can’t expect a Darger Prize finalist to heed any internet rules, let alone the one that happens to apply here. Just the opposite: -1 ties you for first in my book, with Mart Crowley, as someone I’ve stolen from twice.

            http://redlettermedia.com/101-wacky-kid-jokes-part-2/#comment-1287394702

            So, while you’re scaling your way up toward Taco’s 4-digit perch on RLM’s big board, your upvotes climb to five figures, and your Dargerithm trends ever downward, you might consider which of these numbers is biggest, really. Or you could forget that and marvel how, in all of these virtual worlds of nonsense, you might well end up #1…and despair.

            I keed, I keed.

            http://redlettermedia.com/new-half-in-the-bag-commentary-tracks/#comment-1217625848

            Theft: 15
            Percy Gryce: -2

          • Percy Gryce

            I bow to you, but give a bloke some credit. I have had my moments, to wit: . . .

            http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-the-conjuring-only-god-forgives-blue-jasmine-and-things/#comment-1088690110

          • Now I Get It

            Every jamoke and jabrone, bloke and bisone. I recall that as part of a protracted thread that you started, by posing what can be either the rudest or most flattering question you can ask of someone online, namely, “Who are you?”

            I dodged the question but let you nickname my nickname, NIGI, on whose meaning I was streets behind but which I’ve used myself ever since – without it flagging itself, I hope – so, there’s your credit.

          • Percy Gryce

            Of course, it was meant entirely flatteringly–in the style of Inigo Montoya or Sir Bedevere: “Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?”

          • Now I Get It

            Flattered I was. First, the Inigo-Westley sound clip really was charming, not least as I’d used “The Princess Bride” as a motif in earlier posts – why, it was as if you’d been reading along. Second, a true online plaintiff is more likely to have asked for that information in the form of an accusation, as in “Who do you think you are?” then backed it with a bill of particulars to contradict me in advance.

            In fact, it was only because I sensed a compliment that I got dodgy. I’m sorry for the runaround on that; it’s the way of my people.

          • Pa Kent Says Maybe

            HOUSE OF MIRTH reference.

            She didn’t win an Oscar for that. Wasn’t even nominated.

            The Academy can blow me.

          • Now I Get It

            But if it came down to winning an Oscar for “House of Mirth” or being reviewed on this very site for co-starring with the immortal Ken Billingsley (reincarnated after playing Gandhi) in “Our Robot Overlords”, which do you s’pose she’d prefer?

            http://embankmentfilms.com/images/gallery/our-robot-overlords1.jpg

          • Pa Kent Says Maybe

            I know exactly which she’d prefer. She told me herself. But, a gentleman does not tell a lady’s tales.

          • Percy Gryce

            I thought this was a joke. But I checked IMDB, and it’s real.

            Ooooohhh.

        • TapewormBike

          She was the ultimate fantasy crush for my teen self. I believed.

        • Pa Kent Says Maybe

          Ah. The woman of my dreams.

      • Ogrot

        Am I the only one who was disappointed when they clicked the see more button. Is Mulder’s chin cleft too explicit for RLM?

        • Now I Get It

          I’d have made a sampler of all four faces, if I could, to show that the real fascinator isn’t the cleft as such but the unusually short distance between the lower lip and the chin’s tip. Alas, I lack the software skills, not to mention the beautiful mind, of a Taco Nash needed to create such deeply felt porn mash-ups.

      • Percy Gryce

        Soulless gingers.

      • My ex wife

        Dave is not all that and a can of Raid.

        • Percy Gryce

          Looks like James Dean–after that horrible car accident.

          • Percy Gryce

            Or Sean Penn–after that horrible marriage to Madonna.

          • Pa Kent Says Maybe

            Or Ewan McGregor when he realized what being cast in a prequel did for his career.

          • My ex wife

            That’s true, Ewan McDonald went the long way down after that.

    • TapewormBike

      I am engaged to one and although we were together before I even knew what Plinkett review was, I attribute the strength of our relationship to RLM (just don´t tell my gf)

      • ident

        The ground is littered with corpses but they never cease enlisting. What a piece of work is a man.

        • Percy Gryce

          Bachelor, eh? Or should I say, “confirmed” bachelor?

          • ident

            Which makes my words easier to dismiss? He who has ears, let him hear.

          • Percy Gryce

            We were made for leaving and cleaving. Connubial bliss is where it’s at.

          • ident

            That is a serious conversation to be had. Alas, it cannot be had here.

          • Percy Gryce

            Tru dat.

      • Percy Gryce

        Does she have a soul?

        • TapewormBike

          Nah, but a whole lot of funk.

  • HNSZ

    How to reawaken your sexual prowess. – There is always something in there to make things awkward, keeps you on edge.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      The sexiest type of awkward.

      • Now I Get It

        The edgiest type of sexward.

  • Captain Turbo

    Space Cop looks like a cheap ripoff of ‘Tous les Matins du Monde’

    • Now I Get It

      Exactement!

  • The Summer of George

    That apartment is 100% vagina poison.

    • TapewormBike

      Not when Rich Evans steps in.

      • Percy Gryce

        110%?

      • Duckler

        When’s the next Rich Evans Steps In? (Please don’t do this)

  • TapewormBike

    That freaking mask Jay made is gonna get auctioned hardcore style. It also brought back memories of doing crafts in like a first grade. I tried to make a clay hedgehog and my aunt then used it as an ashtray (thinking that was what it was supposed to be).

    To get serious for a bit, any time I see the behind the scenes of RLM, it just fills me with creative energy, because these guys enjoy what they do so much and put extreme care and love into everything that it radiates off the screen. Now excuse me, the Care Boars song just started, I have some nails to ram into my ears.

    • dollar store cashier wife

      they’re living the american dream…just like shoji.

      • TapewormBike

        This Rich Evans was actually designed by NASA.

        • LelouchtheFilial

          You mean Lich Evans.


          …well, that’s getting cut.

      • Thanatos2k

        50 years from now some other hack frauds will review Redlettermedia stuff, and when the legendary “Rich Evans” character shows up for the first time, they’ll burst out laughing at how terrible he was.

        What fools they will be!

    • Percy Gryce

      Hey, the Vagina Globkin went for over 200 bucks. That abomination of a mask should set a record price.

    • WrongWithYourFace

      I made a clay walrus but its fangs broke. Now it looks like something between a hamster and a dugong.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa
        • TapewormBike

          Duh..gong

        • WrongWithYourFace

          Can’t argue with that. Even sailors were mistaken to think of them as mermaids back in the olden days. And that, my friend, is a true story.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            I’m friends with your face! YAY!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I was showing my friend how funny that mask was [I think she might have cried from laughter... or perhaps I had the restraints too tight again] when it dawned on me that they’ll probably put it up for auction. I got super happy and thought about buying it, only to then realize that people will most likely bid outside my price range.

      It was a bigger emotional roller coaster ride than when I watched their April Foowl’s West of the Berst parnk vidio.

  • Malevolence

    where do I contribute for this movie’s creation?

    • jaymanxyz2

      There’s a donate button at the top right of any page on this webzone. Or you can buy merchandise from the store.

      • Percy Gryce

        That’s not a funny or philosophical enough comment. You need to employ misdirection–or at least some ornate rhetorical excuse for why Malevolence should play no part in funding RLM.

        • WrongWithYourFace

          Yes. They should have said “every Nukie tape helps”.

          • Percy Gryce

            At this rate, like Shoji’s garage, RLM can build its new studio out of Nukie VHS tapes.

        • jaymanxyz2

          Please forgive the uninitiated and naïve. I will learn.

        • ident

          Do you ever stop and wonder: “Maybe I’m the one who doesn’t get it. Maybe “Jack and Jill” is a good movie. Maybe my heart is so chewed through by hate and misanthropy, I can’t tell good from bad any more. Maybe I’m the troll.” But, yeah, donate something or whatever.

          • Percy Gryce

            Indeed, Ident, I am not averse to the kind of introspection you suggest. I do worry, though, about staring too long into the abyss that is my soul.

          • ident

            How does he keep his keyboard and mouse so clean? I must be doing it wrong.

          • Ogrot

            I’m so annoyed when people post their selfies.

          • Percy Gryce

            Umm, I may have gone too far in a few places.

  • shuura84

    It’s gonna be the bestest movie ever !
    …Even without lava in it.

    • ident

      There better be fucking lava in it.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Sharknado lava.

        • Percy Gryce

          Is that where the sharks shoot lava or where the lava is full of . . . ah, fuck it.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            I just want the sequel to include baby sharks that puke lava after eating.

      • Now I Get It

        Don’t worry, there will be. In scenes shot indoors will be a floor, and the floor will be lava, and the way you’ll know is a little chyron will flash “The floor is lava” and the characters will all skip around awkwardly, gasping “Ooo-ooo, ahh-ahh, hot-hot.”

        And later, when they run back into that same room, a little chyron will flash, “The floor is lava – remember?” just so the characters don’t have to waste time playing the same beat twice, because that would be bad storytelling.

        And – yes! – it’s a cheap effect, but it’s all they can afford, and all they’re asking you to do is believe in it, dammit!

  • Robby

    I wish I lived in Milwaukee just so I could volunteer to help them with set construction or whatever else they need. It would be so fun.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      I kinda wished they asked for help more often, but just a bit earlier. One weekend they gave an Extras casting call, and the 15 drive would be worth it, but they didn’t give enough time to make plans to go.

      • Percy Gryce

        Agreed. I was actually going to fly in for the Three A*holes Talk About Web Videos panel discussion and beer bash, but Mrs. Gryce frowned on my proposed $1,000 travel budget.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          It costs $1,000 to hide in air cargo and sleep in the dumpster? You can also beg for food at the local iHop. Really cuts down on costs.

          • Percy Gryce

            I know that kid made it to Hawaii in the unpressurized wheel well of a jet, but I’m just too old for that shit.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Surfboard bags are really comfortable. You could always try that.

          • Duckler

            You said “I’m too old for that shit” and didn’t get cut off by an explosion. Oh my god..!

        • ident

          Ah, the joys of marriage. This is what the future holds, TapewormBike.

        • Pa Kent Says Maybe

          So, you’re the “other” of the two regulars who has a case of the not-gays?

  • Cy

    The MacGuffin will end up being the hot dog from the trailer. The legendary space hot dog, which can save the world… of space.

    • Duckler

      Space hot dogs must contain at least 17% Macguffin.

      • Alex Lee

        But where will the bug parts and rat droppings go?

        • Duckler

          When’s the next Plinkett Eats?

      • Ogrot

        In the future Hot dogs are made of processed horse penis and chinese people. CHECK YOUR FACTS!

        • Duckler

          Canon baller.

      • Pa Kent Says Maybe

        What’s an Egg Macguffin made of? Don’t say “eggs.”

    • ident

      I can guarantee you that it’s not. Any kind of MacGuffin would require 100% more effort than RLM has ever put in to a script.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        If they DID include a MacGuffin, they would probably just have Space Cop forget ALL about it so he can do stereotypical “guy” things.
        Pound down a few beers with the fellas… maybe toss a ball around… enlist himself in an all-male private school…
        After writing that, I just had a terrible “Dudebros.” flashback.

        Also, thinking about Space Cop and typing the words “male” and “private” made me envision the Birthday Boy’s Dick. It was unpleasant. And by “unpleasant,” I mean the exact opposite of that.

  • Percy Gryce

    I was just checking out the New York Times and it seems like the Grey Lady has finally done an exposé on who is really running RLM (although I note that their grammar is really slipping):
    .

    • ident

      The Rich is a figurehead. The Jay and the Mike are the true power. Those who control the past, control the future. They control the past by editing it. They’re the editors. Did you…did you get it?

      • My ex wife

        The Jay mike combine might be the Ministry of Hackfraud but,
        The Rich Evans controls the laugh.

        The Rich Evans controls the universe!

    • Jeremy Davis

      i think i need to take my brain medicine after reading this

      • Duckler

        12 oz of Space Robitussin should do the trick..

        • Jeremy Davis

          Space Robitussin could work… or maybe I should try using Raid instead. Of course, I will use the fast acting, low irritant variety.

    • Duckler

      Evantually..

    • Cameron Vale
      • My ex wife

        The Rich Evans laughs like this every time he thinks about the millions of dollars in Pepsi endorsement he pulls in. That’s what i heard anyway.

      • Joe Syxpac

        Now I want high speed Rich Evans laughs.

  • Duckler

    For just 40 cents a day, you too can sponsor a fake alien head.

  • The Summer of George

    Can we get Wacky Kid Jokes: The Movie instead?

    • Duckler

      But it won’t feature Jay’s rubber’d head.

    • WrongWithYourFace

      1001 Wacky Kid Jokes.

      • Alex Lee

        You mean 2001: A Wacky Kid Jokes’ Odyssey.

  • Charon

    Keep up the good work, guys. I WILL be seeing this, and buying a DVD/Blu-Ray copy.

  • Wasperheimer

    Only one pair of parents got to hear “It’s a Rich Evans!” They are the proudest parents in the world.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Think of the doctor that got to slap that ass. I mean, THAT ASS.

    • Jeremy Davis

      actually, Rich Evans is the first example of human parthenogenesis… he gave birth to himself.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I just saw The Captain of the United States of America: The Soldier of Winter: The Coldest Season Tuesday night. I was watching it when Black Widow asks Cap, “Where did Captain America learn how to steal a car?” I nearly died from laughter. I had forgotten that was going to be in the film even though I had watched the review from RLM where they mentioned that the old Captain America film had him steal a car twice. The girl I was with didn’t understand why I was laughing so hard.

    Then a few minutes ago I saw this video. It’s relevant to my comment. ;) I don’t speak Russian, though.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K-zDK4wrI4

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      You didn’t make a response video of you watching “Captain Winter: Soldier of America?” WHY THE FUCK NOT?!

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Too busy masturbating while watching the film!

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          But there is no Harry Dean Stanton in this film. What is there to possibly masturbate to?

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            He was in The Avengers, so close enough.

        • LelouchtheFilial

          Oh, when has that EVER stopped you from filming a reaction before?

    • ident

      The “girl” you were with? The whole comment was a subtle attempt to convince us he has a case of the not-gays.

      • Cameron Vale

        Gay men rarely have female friends? That’s not the stereotype I’m familiar with.

        • ident

          Thank god you showed up. My parade was so woefully piss free.

          • Cameron Vale

            Fine, jeez, going to the movies without a lady is super gay.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Bro, what are you talking about? I drive a Hummer. I love guns. Boobs are the best. I love how they feel like… bags of sand. Vaginas are the shit. I love putting my penis into the vaginas until I have the climax. Male bumholes are just… icky. I don’t understand how anyone can enjoy those sexy gross things. Ewwy. Ewwy. I have a whole folder dedicated to how much I love the womens. I also like thwords. I like it when boobies bounce. I wish I could become a chipmunk and curl up into a girl’s armpit. Dude, I work out. I am the best at secks. If there were secks Olympics, I’d get a medal without contending. Adam Sandler is hilarious, bro. What do you know?

  • Thanatos2k

    Oh god, it’s almost been a week since these frauds uploaded free entertainment for me. The shakes are getting worse….

  • Thom Stone

    does anyone else love jay’s laugh? i think it’s really funny when he sometimes busts out a laugh, especially when trying to stay in character on half in the bag

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      It’s a good laugh, but it’s best as part of a trifecta of laughter. When I watched Mike, Rich, and Jay laugh so hard they cried on their HITB Resident Evil episode, their laughing was incredibly contagious.

      • Thanatos2k

        The Shoji intro quad laugh was the best.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Now we just need a hextuple laugh fest and we can all die happy.

    • WrongWithYourFace

      *really cute

  • thatsrightjay

    wait, this was my free content for the week? was sort of fraudulent hackendashery is this?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I was just looking up “That’s My Boy” because I was explaining on Facebook how fucked up it is to have a COMEDY film that begins with statutory rape. I checked out the Wikipedia page and in the ‘Critical Reception’ section it mentions Half in the Bag:

    “Online review show Half in the Bag called the film “pathetic”, it went on to criticize Sandler as a comic, including his inability to create real humor that isn’t based on childish jokes.”

    I got quite excited when I saw that they were mentioned. I know it’s Wikipedia, but it’s great to see them mentioned outside of their webzone and Fecesbook.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/That's_My_Boy_(2012_film)#Critical_reception

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      When I followed the Wikipedia citation, I takes me to their August 2012 episode of Half in the Bag. It’s a pretty funny episode if I remember correctly. :) That said, I found this dumb comment where someone figured it isn’t rape if the 13 year old child genuinely wanted it ['it' being sex from their teacher, an adult in a position of authority over them]. Perhaps not in the Vatican, but in USA and Canada it is.

      http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-abraham-lincoln-vampire-hunter-and-thats-my-boy/

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Wait, what the fuck is Kirsten Dunst doing there? That picture is from my ‘Funny’ folder. I accidentally clicked on it but deleted it before choosing the correct image and posting my comment. Fucking Disqus. Also, check this bullshit on their website.

        • Jason Andrew Wendleton

          Yeah…that…sure is…funny. I keep all my “funny” photos in a folder labeled “folder.”

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Well, my ‘Annoying Bitch’ folder was getting kinda full.

          • Duckler

            You have Reese Witherspoon photos?

          • catnep

            +1

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            No, but I have a bunch without her spoon.

          • GraphicsAndBeer

            I would like to see those two headbutt.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I remember why I had that photo in there, and ironically it’s related to RLM. I was joking with a friend on Facebook [over a year ago over], saying that, “I’d put my Dunst in Kirsten’s cunst.” That’s a Mike quote from an old episode of Half in the Bag. I then used that photo to create this work of art. I’ll make ILM and WETA proud one day…

          • GraphicsAndBeer

            WETA should add this to the next Hobbit movie!

        • Percy Gryce

          Wait, are you sure it wasn’t in your “Rape” folder?

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            The ‘Rape’ folder is in my ‘Funny’ folder.

    • jaymanxyz2
      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I wonder if any fans of Shoji’s will be directed to their webzone?

        Who are we kidding? Geriatrics on death row don’t use the internet.

        • catnep

          Yes we do, and when Concetta comes around to administer the colon cleanse we watch the AmazinTaco channel. All of the recently widowed love Taco…

    • Thanatos2k

      The far more interesting wikipedia page is that of Redlettermedia itsellf:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RedLetterMedia

      Where it states that Mike also makes “concert, wedding, and corporate videos”

      When are we going to see Mike’s version of the Dunkin Donuts 1994 Fall Donut Event Finishing Video with Bob Rosenberg?

      • Thanatos2k

        Ok, which one of you changed the caption under the Rich Evans picture to “The Rich Evans”?

        Fess up.

      • TJ

        We will only see that after he makes “Finishing with Bob Rosenberg.”

  • Duckler

    Hey, Rich Evans didn’t even stay put once in this video! What a rip-off.

  • OzymandiasAeonis

    Hey can somebody please tell me what the protagonist of this upcoming major motion picture is called?

    • ident

      Richevans.

      • Duckler

        The Richevans. The Third.

      • OzymandiasAeonis

        Millions are in mourning after Disney expelled legendary EU character Darth Richevans from the Star Wars canon.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          The theme park attraction, “Come Ride Darth Richevans,” next to Toy Story Pizza Palace, will be sorely missed.

  • Duckler

    When’s the next “Rich Evans Reads Comments With Horror and Disdain”..?

  • RLMkeepitup

    I hope Harry S. Plinkett isn’t holding out his next review for episode 7. I can’t wait that long! But I am curious for space cop. Mike n Jay would be a good director/producer on a bigger budget film. Hopefully one day…

    What do you guys think their first big movie would be like? With Jay I’d think something like Sam Raimi or early Peter Jackson.. and Mike seems good at making characters interesting within a story.

    • Paulus Cañamonjas

      “Well actually I´ve read somewhere online that Mr Plinkett is working on a new video review…right now”- Mike Stoklasa,”New Half in the Bag Commentary Tracks!”.
      Wether we´ve been trolled or not, I don´t know.

      Also, a big movie? Horror comedy, I agree. Darky and unapologetic. Horror
      is their thing (nonmedy aside).On that note, I´d recommend you to watch this.
      I think you will love this movie.

      http://www.tubeplus.me/info/165431/The_Day_of_the_Beast/

  • TJ

    I shit you not, this appeared on my Facebook wall:

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Computers now know exactly what you want? It has begun…

      http://images.wikia.com/terminator/images/archive/4/49/20100204104618!Terminator.jpg

      • LelouchtheFilial

        The Robot invasion will start small…

        • LelouchtheFilial

          But it will grow.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            And grow… and grow…

          • The Summer of George

            Joel Hodgson never lacked subtlety. I’ll fight any man who says otherwise.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            I admit, with the many, many episodes of MST3K that there are, I’ve hardly made a dent in the show.
            That said, I think Joel’s my guy. I love Mike and I’m a big fan of Rifftrax, but the Joel episodes of MST3K… those were whimsical, man.

        • Captain Turbo

          It’s true. This morning my toaster was looking at me funny.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        It is too late to stop it.

  • Duckler

    I’m hearing rumors of a special guest for the next episode of something.. Oooh

    • TJ

      IT’S THE CURSE OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLF

  • WrongWithYourFace
    • Captain Turbo

      I am absolutely flaccid with anticipation. Is that the right word?

      • WrongWithYourFace

        I think you should get your thing checked.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Especially since his name is Captain Turbo.

    • Duckler

      New Thing… Make it so!

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Does this mean Rich Evans learned how to say Leslie Neeld?

  • catnep

    I hope they’ll adopt you, Clayton. Self-described Creep and Weirdo.

    • Clayton Dunnavant

      I wouldn’t call myself a creep or a weirdo, but how many creeps or weirdos would admit to it?

      Anyway, Milwaukee’s brand new to me. It’s a far cry for Austin, TX.

      • Noah Roalson

        Welcome to snow ;) I live in Montana but was just in Texas, my God is it different!

  • Jeremy Davis

    WHERE IS MY FREE WEEKLY ENTERTAINMENT??!1!

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      It’s off-season. All you get are re-runs.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        The RLM writers are on strike.

  • Jerry Jackson

    Content

  • Captain Turbo

    If I say “Best of the Worst” three times, will it magically appear like Beetlejuice?

    • Dr. Blake Downs

      No, that will require an animal sacrifice.

      • Duckler

        Like, say, a Showbiz Pizza bear?

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Or a careboar.

    • Captain Turbo

      It worked! Thank you, ghost of Michael Keaton.

  • http://macaulay.us/ Scottland559

    Can’t wait for the movie!

  • Kyle

    Rich is so mean! Jay did great work on Feeding Frenzy.

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  • Sean Gall

    Oh man, Im so psyched for this movie, it looks absolutely hilarious.
    RLM is comedic genius.

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