Production on Space Cop slowly but surely chugs along. RLM tends to be involved in pretty much every aspect of production, but outside assistance was required in bringing our alien characters to life.
Filed in: Feature Films • Vlogs
props and sets? ever heard of green screen ya hack frauds? unsubscribed
“This is my most treasured possession.”
“He longs for his dead wife.”
Space Cop better be in 4k!
Serious question. Is Space Cop a hoax? Is it really being made or have these guys risen to a new level of hack-fraudery and just doing Space Cop shorts?
This is a perfect opportunity to be one of those fans!
Will it be in 48fps?
Hey you fucks! When’s the next episode of Rich Evans Draws?!
The kind who watches Care Boars all the way to the end more than once????
I’m just kidding there’s no such thing.
In the future she’s dead… in the present she’s not yet born
“This photo of my dead wife. This is my most treasured possession.”
“You mean I can have a background without going to the background???!!! Use that bloated actor Val Kilmer, we’re gonna need a big green screen!!!”
Love behind the scenes stuff like this for true movie magic, keep up the great work guys!
Holy fuck, do you really need that many copies of Nukie?
The masks look very “Enemy Mine.” I wonder if that was intentional.
That spaceship set makes me wanna see this film so much!
No, they’re paying homage to the old Space Cop serials of the 40’s.
Holy shit! A grey fish alien!
Guys, I knew that Space Cop was going to be schlocky, but I wasn’t expecting a gritty ‘Zaat’ reboot.
Kinda reminds me of Abe Sapien from Hellboy
Looking good gents, but when is “Space Cop 2: Part 1″ coming out?
Percy, is that your copy of Nukie that you sent them? Their other copies weren’t in that type of case. I should start sending them things and ask them to send me things in return.
“A few strands of Rich Evans’ beautiful hair for my shrine will do. Thanks in advance!”
“Sorry, Rich can’t spare anymore hair. You can have some of Jay’s beard, though.”
Sy Ableman was from A Serious Man, you idiot.
“I fucked your wife, Larry” – Hellboy
These behind-the-scene vids really make it seem like Mike, Jay and Rich are actually humans and not terrible frauds.
Thats movie magic for you
It’s gonna be great…
Guys, I’ll be visiting Wisconsin soon for a family reunion. I will be expecting a full welcoming party when I arrive on premise
I would pay good money to see Rich Evans stuff himself into the Boba Fett armor.
I really need to get my shit together: Gotta open a PayPal account or start shopping on the United States’ Amazon.coms. Gotta get Oranges: Revenge Of The Eggplant, Feeding Frenzy, Gojira Interrupted, The Recovered and Archives Volume 1, and I really need to start acting like the fan I feel like I am inside me in preparation for The Space Cops – the most anticipated SF movie since Prometheus.
Aw, I was hoping for one of the classic RLM alien masks, like in Gorilla Interrupted and The Great Space Jam. But these are still awesome, and the effort behind this whole movie is just astonishing. Keep it up.
Why don’t you hack frauds just admit to ripping off Zaat!?
all the stuff this contracted artist made is incredibly awesome and I would pay to tour this guy’s house, but Jay’s mask wasn’t bad at all!
Jay, you could have made a star exactly like that using a couple of sheets of craft foam in about ten minutes at a cost of around $3.
Our hard-working, Midwestern boys are all about hands-on, homemade, bespoke costumes and props.
“Jay you fucking asshole!”
Funny, my grandmother said the very same thing to me last night… and my name isn’t even Jay. Wait, does this mean I’m confirmed for Jay?!
Is there something this man can’t do?!
Another tape I sent in makes it on screen. Hooray me. And I was just headed out to the Goodwill to look for more copies of Nukie.
>Rich Evans Draws
I’d watch that.
Whoa there, fella, let’s not get carried away.
Are you kidding me? That alien looked like it had Down’s syndrome.
Stop working so hard, and doing things you enjoy! It makes us feel bad about ourselves.
3-D? Imax? Imax 3-D?
Actually, his mask resembles Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys.
Yeah, I know, Mike’s not even in this video.
If you look below, I spotted your contribution. How does it feel to have something you touched also touched by Jay?
Oh, “bespoke” are we? Well, how good of you to come to tea.
Aaron Sorkin: 0
I didn’t know you guys still had so much to do on Space Cop. I assumed by this point, you’d be getting into post-production. Shows how little I know about low budget filmmaking.
Jay killed him in hopes that he would become the main star of RLM. Now all he has to do is “take care” of Mr Evans…
It also doesn’t help that they have other shows to do as well, which slows down their film making.
I did that once. After a while I started to notice a sharp, throbbing pain in my head. I went to the doctor’s and after my examination he told me that I have a case of “fork in the brain”. I replied, “Adam Sandler is hilarious, bro. What do you know?!”
That was the original design George Lucas wanted for the Shatnerians. They were originally written to talk jive like seventies era racist stereotypes of urban youth.
I can top that.
harryhausen would’ve been delighted
Jay: “And it’s a comedy….”
Space Cop is a comedy!?!
Rich Evans wanted to do some really weird things with the alien masks…. I want to do some really weird things to Rich Evans.
They may have gone too far in a few places.
What’s wrong with your FACE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Another super hero movie!? And a gritty reboot to boot! Goddamn it…
So looking forward to this now.
Also the comments around here always give me back some faith in humanity
Having an actor in a costume looks hard. Have you tried replacing it with a generic CGI piece of crap?
hmm, sorry i was distracted by Jay’s banging body i missed it.
I want to see Jay try to voice a Plinkett review.
Is the Alien played by Nadine?
knowing rlm they probably just gonna cast her as a hooker for the 3rd time.
Incredibly perceptive of you. It was certainly one of the copies of Nukie that I included in my Nukie Party Pack:
Girl got amazing range.
Yes, yes, they do.
She’s a regular Sigourney Weaver–from Half Moon Street to Alien 3.
Dare I say; she’s the female equivalent of Rich Evans?
You know Spacecop is never gonna beat Titanic…Nobody can…
He might have gone too far in a few places.
Oh my goooooooooooood!
Or maybe Kanye:
No. Rich Evans is inimitable– there is no other. Man? Woman? What specimen can even hope to capture the essence of what Rich Evans is?
It’s why Jay needed to correct himself when he said “it’s a boy!” He knew that “it’s a Rich Evans” was much more proper, for Richevans cannot be compared with other human beings, not even in gender. He (IT!) has transcended us.
He’s in my ass.
He’s in my ass-wallet.
Tru dat. Rich Evans is descended from the Nephilim, that race of giants that coupled with the daughters of men.
You’re a regular Jeremy Renner.
Milwaukee Beer Bellies!
I wonder sometimes if half the comments posted on here are just “It’s gonna be great” montages.
Sloth before he was dropped on his head. Twice.
No. Your grandmother is, though.
Of all the places for Wookies to get together, it had to be Wisconsin.
I used to get all kinds of fucked up watching that show. I’m ashamed of myself, really.
I can’t go into too much detail because of the restraining order but it involves a trapeze, a pressure cooker, six gallons of cooking lard, a carburetor from a 1968 Dodge Dart, and a midget with a camera.
Looks like someone went to work Galaxy Invader’s infant son with a ball-peen hammer.
Jay wouldn’t be able to get through a single line without laughing. It would be terrible.
Anyone else think for a second that Jocelyn was Jessie or am I still drunk?
imma need an explanation to that reference, but i’m still upvoting because of a mention to Jeremy Renner
“We’re gonna need a bigger Nukie shelf..”
It’s a dark comedy. Like Schindler’s List
So that’s who she is! I kept thinking, “Is that Jessie? No.”
“Get your finger out of my ass-wallet!”
Yeah, that production of On The Waterfront starring the Care Bores isn’t going to make itself you know.
They’d do anything for love, but they won’t do Zaat
Zaat‘s all folks..!
Not get Diabetes?
I’d buy Zaat for a dollar!
This has better have stop motion and go motion AND CGI.
I’m genuinely excited for Space Cop and I know next to nothing about it.
Who knows? Either way, it’s gonna be great.
How is cutting out a couple of stars out of craft foam and gluing them together not hands-on and homemade?
They tried 1000 different versions of Rich Evans in his draws, but nothing was really working. Wearing your draws outside your pants is really just a throwback to the strongman era, so they went with the sculpted bulb-cock tights instead.
I also like that the mask came out of bin that has Special Effects in quotes. Even the box knew this mask was shit.
Not be a hack?
Hint: What role did Renner play in Thor 1 and Avengers 1?
Did RLM–like Jorge–keep the merchandizing rights?
If only . . . .
I’m guessing that this footage is a bit old and that they’re just releasing it now ’cause they didn’t want our Easter baskets to be empty.
Stop asking perfectly logical questions.
For the CGI you guys should put Colin from Canada in the roach fridge until he does it for free.
Iron Man. I get it now. Because he’s hard like Iron Man.
That guy is an awesome talent. What’s he doing in fly over country?!! Or did you go to LA? Great division of labor Jay. A wise man knows when he needs help.
Shut up and take my Space bucks
Not quite. He’s what the daughters of men squirted out. Still special! But in an abomination sort of way. (oops… thought you said he was Nephilim. I still stand by what I say!)
Really? Cause all I see is a whole lot of not filming. But that’s ok…that’s ok…the best movies are in pre-production for at least a decade, right?
As one of the few who saw that movie, yes. As their lawyer, no.
A wise man knows not to make a movie with Monopoly money and hand jobs. Jay is a lot of things. A lot of sexy, sexy things. But wise, he is not.
You fucked up your scripture, blasphemer. 10 Hail Marys.
The key is to film it in shadows and never truly reveal it. It also helps if the shadows don’t look like a waterhead baby in a fat suit.
Then you’re missing at least two levels of irony.
Hang on, there. I want to be their lawyer.
Low Blow! oh wait… that’s what you wanted me to say.
By the binding precedent set forth in Florida Bar v. Spring Hill Elementary (1977), my time-stamped comment, preceding your own by nearly 30 minutes, amounts to a legally binding invocation of “I called it”.
i’m just gonna pretend i get it now.
Jay does that to people…
I have no idea how listening to a Tupac song ten times will absolve him of his religious sins.
Ah, for our German friends.
I think it looks like a CGI piece of crap.
what I mean is, even though the expression or design isn’t as good, Jay certainly knows how to make a mask. I appreciate the screenshot though
It’s a movie about a cop
Rich Ev… I mean Space Cop.
They need crap from the movie to auction to some suckers on E-bay in order to fund their next movie. They have to be more durable than craft foam.
Jay’s mask looks like Charlie Brown’s Halloween Costume.
“Fraggle Rock” for me. That show put me into rehab, after I left the house as Marjory the Trash Heap.
Oh my lord, that is absolutely horrifying! haha
this barely cut it for my RLM fix, I’m getting the shakes pretty bad guys, stop holding out on me like this, I’ll buy whatever you want me to just make the Half in the bag and best of the worst withdrawals stop
This will tell you everything you need to know about it.
This video has awakened my sexual prowess
It is his way of actually trying to make the best possible alien mask that he can. It’s stylistically designed to be that way and you can’t undo that. But you can diminish the effects of it.
will pay $$$ for SPACE COP.
Dems da tremens, my fren, whetha urunnin’ downa street witture close on or off, dems da tremens.
And, on this day, Jesus said unto the masses, “You thought I would STAY dead? Hahaha, WHAT?! HAPPY BELATED APRIL FOOLS, BITCHES! Hey, where’s Judas? He used to LOVE my elaborate, supernatural pranks. I just wanted to tell him ‘no hard feelings’ and… oh, he… he WHAT? Oh… ohhh…”
See, you can cross the line with your April Fools jokes sometimes, Jesus.
Heheh… *cross* the line…
So, happy Easter to the denizens of Redlettermedia. You ALL have shown me that, if God isn’t dead, then He must be seriously considering suicide.
God (or Whatever) bless you all.
It looks like a head of broccoli!
In a race to the bottom you mean?
Is this another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles teaser?
Hail Murray full of grace…
I saw Nadine!
What, they couldn’t just make a nice paska?
In the former Crimea, paska eats you.
Yakov Smirnoff: 0
Judas’ greatest sin was to not wait one more day to betray Jesus and fucking us all out of a 3-day weekend.
Which paska were you speaking of again?
Yay! I’m a people!
Side-note: Instead of typing “yay” I accidentally typed “Jay” at first… What does this mean?
At least the mask has those weird cheek eyes… Jay’s been stealing notes from Mr. Evans?
And we have a new catchphrase: It’s a Rich Evans!
On another note; that fish alien mask reminded me of The Creature from the Black Lagoon, which in turn reminds me of Zaat. Oh, rubber costumes, how I miss you!
and lo, Jebus said “Stop bogarting that bong and pass it over here, man!”. Hence, the bong was passed and the disciples rejoiced as Jebus turned a fish into nachos and a loaf of bread into unlimited pizza rolls.
Ah, yes, which of the many paskas? Think hrudka, not marjat. There, that should clear it up.
That lost shot of Jay looking through the T-1000 touched me in my happy place.
Guns-N-Roses took forever to make Chinese Democracy, and Axl’s face turned out great!
He’s saying he has eyes like a hawk, and knows what to do with 11 arrows.
Or buy the poster, frame and hang it prominently in your home. When your friends come over, explain how it’s your favorite piece of art. The funny looks you receive are kinda priceless.
Is it more like To Kill A Mockingbird or Roots?
A wild Rich Evans appears!
Zaat can’t be right, can it?
Now there’s a funny right there!
I spot random 3D printer guy’s artwork!
I look forward to your full documentary: “Asshats and Zaat: The Making of Space Cop“
Did you get a receipt?
Okay, wow.. Zaat may not have been appropriate.
I’m so excited!
I can’t wait to pirate this shit!
DUCKLER used MEME!
It’s super effective!
“How Not to Make a Space Cop Movie”
You know, it’s possible the first Easter happened on April 1. That wacky Jesus.
But no one will want to pirate this movie. That’s the genius behind it. Aim low, sell high.
he will give the people something to strive against
“Rich Evan Concept Art”
Aww, that’s adorable!
You can try to clear it up but we both know the stains never come off.
From the sensational 4-page Artbook of SpaceCop. Coming out this summer!
Why is SpaceCop less bald and less fat in the trailer? And why does he have a different star on his chest, whyyy? whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..
Well, certainly no movie with a script that got slapped together in 4 weeks and 9752 coffee breaks inbetween.
What’s wrong with her faaaaaace?
Any chance, we’re gonna see Sheila in SpaceCop?
Yeah, they already have perfectly fine alien mask!
I’m hoping for Gillian myself, in a sexy scene with Jay – Their chemIstry is OFF DA HOOK
True. That saffron sticks like shit to a blanket.
You’re only ths far into production?!???!!!! How long is this going to take? I need Space cops now!!!! Hacks!!!!!!!!
That’s right. In an homage to Atticus Finch, Rich Evans plays Space Cop’s ritual circumcision for laughs.
Because everything Rich Evans does is pure comedy gold!
Of course. Still, let’s wait to see what the Evans lambskin fetches on eBay. (Apparently, it comes in its own Star of David puzzle box to reduce over-handling.)
I think we need to see a gif to prove that.
Yes, pics or it didn’t fappen.
It`s great to see Jocelyn again (Seriously cute) and because of so many women Redheaded women being on RLM I now have developed a taste for them.
Anyone else have a taste for Redheaded women after seeing so many on RLM?
Jessie and Jocelyn are super cute and Gillian is yummy as well. Damn those hacks.
Seriously? My dream is a foursome with Christina Hendricks, Maria Thayer, and Felicia Day. And, yes, they’re all redheads, but my thing is chins, and they’ve all got the same one, which just happens to be common among redheads – go figure – . . .
also David Duchovny, who’s no redhead but whose chin can’t be denied.
Waking up on a Monday is such a fucking bummer, though. Why would Judas put Jesus through that?
How to reawaken your sexual prowess. – There is always something in there to make things awkward, keeps you on edge.
I masturbated during the shower scene.
What about Scully?
They call it HFR now. No I don’t know why.
This thing is going to give me a seizure.
Because this is the dark gritty reboot of Space Cop as re-imagined by Christopher Nolan, re-written by Damon Lindelof, and re-produced by George Lucas.
WHICH MEANS IT STINKS!
well, basically, it made me feel like a kitten with a potato:
Space Cop looks like a cheap ripoff of ‘Tous les Matins du Monde’
Am I the only one who was disappointed when they clicked the see more button. Is Mulder’s chin cleft too explicit for RLM?
My dear Percy, I can assure you that, despite Miss Bart’s new name and modern style, she is still just as troubled and not a woman that I would imagine myself at all in pursuit of. Of this durable fact you may seek confirmation from Messrs. Trenor and Rosedale, as well as the Dorsets. And, if I may, I do hope that your somewhat euphoric suggestion was brought on by a chummy concern and not by an over-indulgence in the laudanum. Your friend in discretion, . . .
You’re right. It would be completely out of character for Judas to be so inconsiderate.
Stop trying to artificially raise my self-esteem, you jerk.
That apartment is 100% vagina poison.
I’d have made a sampler of all four faces, if I could, to show that the real fascinator isn’t the cleft as such but the unusually short distance between the lower lip and the chin’s tip. Alas, I lack the software skills, not to mention the beautiful mind, of a Taco Nash needed to create such deeply felt porn mash-ups.
I’m not saying that that’s why Al Gore invented the internet, but . . . Never mind, forget I said anything, forget we spoke, forget this whole day. I was never here.
This is why Al Gore invented the internet.
You’ve checked me and would mate with your next move, so I resign. You most deftly turned my off-the-cuff pic post back on me, and did so in a mirthfully Whartonian style–indeed I believe yours the first post to take cognizance of the origin of my screen name. Well played, sir, well played!
Are you going to bring charges?
Not when Rich Evans steps in.
She was the ultimate fantasy crush for my teen self. I believed.
Never. Gets. Old.
I was going to comment on this very excited pussy, but that made me think of this:
Don’t forget motion capture and I second that emotion.
That freaking mask Jay made is gonna get auctioned hardcore style. It also brought back memories of doing crafts in like a first grade. I tried to make a clay hedgehog and my aunt then used it as an ashtray (thinking that was what it was supposed to be).
To get serious for a bit, any time I see the behind the scenes of RLM, it just fills me with creative energy, because these guys enjoy what they do so much and put extreme care and love into everything that it radiates off the screen. Now excuse me, the Care Boars song just started, I have some nails to ram into my ears.
I am engaged to one and although we were together before I even knew what Plinkett review was, I attribute the strength of our relationship to RLM (just don´t tell my gf)
they’re living the american dream…just like shoji.
This Rich Evans was actually designed by NASA.
Tsk, tsk, you’ve forgotten that Spring Hill Elementary was overturned by Spadewski v. Rhodastein (1986), in which the Supreme Court of Guam enunciated the controversial principle that clients get to pick their own counsel–that’s also known as the “Fuck You” Rule.
Hey, the Vagina Globkin went for over 200 bucks. That abomination of a mask should set a record price.
where do I contribute for this movie’s creation?
Guam? Shall we also consider the decisions of the Federal Appeals Court of Narnia? Or the 9th Circuit? Come, man, let’s at least agree to be civilized.
The ground is littered with corpses but they never cease enlisting. What a piece of work is a man.
The Internet and global warming? Truly the Edison of our times…
50 years from now some other hack frauds will review Redlettermedia stuff, and when the legendary “Rich Evans” character shows up for the first time, they’ll burst out laughing at how terrible he was.
What fools they will be!
Does she have a soul?
The Edison and the Sir August de Wynter of our times.
Nah, but a whole lot of funk.
There’s a donate button at the top right of any page on this webzone. Or you can buy merchandise from the store.
Looks like Jay gave the Toxic Avenger ringworm:
It’s gonna be the bestest movie ever !
…Even without lava in it.
There better be fucking lava in it.
I made a clay walrus but its fangs broke. Now it looks like something between a hamster and a dugong.
Just a few years back I housesat for a couple, one of whom had a cousin who’d worked on Gore’s climate team. When Gore won the Nobel in 2007, the cousin declined to be named and, I believe, quit the team as he disagreed with their findings.
The last time I went to sell my vinyl, I could not unload my Zevon. “I like Warren,” the clerk said, “but he just doesn’t sell.” Sure enough, no used music store I go to ever has any Zevon, not even in CD.
P.S. “Bad Luck Streak in Dancing School” remains one of my all-time favourite album covers. There’s just something about those colours and that “lomographic” effect that I really like.
Jim Norton called to say he wants you back. He misses how you used to pee in his Coke. . . .Better?
Wow, you silver-suiters really play hardball. Don’t forget to bill each other for time spent composing and awaiting your replies. I know it comes out even but, WTF, it’s the principle of the thing.
I’m streets ahead.
Dan Harmon: 0
He just liked it because I had terrible aim. That silly goose!
Ohmigawwwd! Confirmed for female! . . . Also, I’m thinking, reverse labiaplasty.
I wish I lived in Milwaukee just so I could volunteer to help them with set construction or whatever else they need. It would be so fun.
The MacGuffin will end up being the hot dog from the trailer. The legendary space hot dog, which can save the world… of space.
You have nooo idea how badly I want to be that potato.
Shit, did I just say type that out loud?
I was showing my friend how funny that mask was [I think she might have cried from laughter... or perhaps I had the restraints too tight again] when it dawned on me that they’ll probably put it up for auction. I got super happy and thought about buying it, only to then realize that people will most likely bid outside my price range.
It was a bigger emotional roller coaster ride than when I watched their April Foowl’s West of the Berst parnk vidio.
Dave is not all that and a can of Raid.
Yeah, everyone knows you’re supposed to neg the living fuck out of her first, Duckler. Chicks dig mental scars.
I kinda wished they asked for help more often, but just a bit earlier. One weekend they gave an Extras casting call, and the 15 drive would be worth it, but they didn’t give enough time to make plans to go.
But dugongs are wonderful!
The sexiest type of awkward.
“How to build suspense by never finishing the movie.”
Hey, cut Jay some slack, the mask came a long way from its humble beginnings:
…or perhaps not.
Space hot dogs must contain at least 17% Macguffin.
I still remember that 1890s comment. I think I even replied to it [not sure how to check... never mind, I checked and I replied]:
“This is the wittiest thing I read on this entire thread.”
These comments section are a gold mine and when I participate in discussions on here I feel part of some weird, fucked up community [I'm sure RLM is a bit embarrassed by what we post] where most people set aside their differences and joke among one another, even if we are a bunch of hack frauds.
Not gonna lie, I needed your hint to get this joke.
That sounds like the closing line of the first chapter of some weird Star Wars comedy fan fiction. The Wisconsin Wookie is a funnier character than they’ve ever had.
Can’t argue with that. Even sailors were mistaken to think of them as mermaids back in the olden days. And that, my friend, is a true story.
Tsk, tsk, again. It don’t come out even. My rate is much higher than Ident’s–if only by dint of the fact that I’ve got 100 years seniority on him.
Hey, at least I didn’t cite the Fundamental Declarations of the Martian colonies or the Necronomicon.
We need Behind the Behind the Scenes to see them scripting how to not seem like fraud hacks. Or hack frauds.
Agreed. I was actually going to fly in for the Three A*holes Talk About Web Videos panel discussion and beer bash, but Mrs. Gryce frowned on my proposed $1,000 travel budget.
Is that where the sharks shoot lava or where the lava is full of . . . ah, fuck it.
Hack Fraud Rate.
That’s not a funny or philosophical enough comment. You need to employ misdirection–or at least some ornate rhetorical excuse for why Malevolence should play no part in funding RLM.
You should also Nukie the fridge.
Yes. They should have said “every Nukie tape helps”.
At this rate, like Shoji’s garage, RLM can build its new studio out of Nukie VHS tapes.
I bow to you, but give a bloke some credit. I have had my moments, to wit: . . .
Embarrassed by us? Have you heard or seen what comes out of Mike & Jay’s mouths?
To be honest wid ya, Gubner, I think we class up the joint a bit.
Please forgive the uninitiated and naïve. I will learn.
I just want the sequel to include baby sharks that puke lava after eating.
It costs $1,000 to hide in air cargo and sleep in the dumpster? You can also beg for food at the local iHop. Really cuts down on costs.
I’m friends with your face! YAY!
How can you get poetry out of The Wisconsin Wookie? It has to rhyme, y’know.
I know that kid made it to Hawaii in the unpressurized wheel well of a jet, but I’m just too old for that shit.
You’re not mentally living in the extended Marvel cinematic universe? I watch the last half of The Avengers every night before I go to bed.
Or maybe I was thinking about The Town where he wears a hockey mask and beats the shit out of lowlifes.
Or maybe I was thinking about American Hustle where he plays an overly trusting Pisan.
Whatever. If the glue sniffs, share it.
Surfboard bags are really comfortable. You could always try that.
Miss Johnson’s cookie.
Again, it’s like poetry, so that they rhyme. Every stanza kinda rhymes with the last one. Hopefully it’ll work.
But where will the bug parts and rat droppings go?
Ah, the joys of marriage. This is what the future holds, TapewormBike.
Do you ever stop and wonder: “Maybe I’m the one who doesn’t get it. Maybe “Jack and Jill” is a good movie. Maybe my heart is so chewed through by hate and misanthropy, I can’t tell good from bad any more. Maybe I’m the troll.” But, yeah, donate something or whatever.
Bachelor, eh? Or should I say, “confirmed” bachelor?
Which makes my words easier to dismiss? He who has ears, let him hear.
I can guarantee you that it’s not. Any kind of MacGuffin would require 100% more effort than RLM has ever put in to a script.
Indeed, Ident, I am not averse to the kind of introspection you suggest. I do worry, though, about staring too long into the abyss that is my soul.
We were made for leaving and cleaving. Connubial bliss is where it’s at.
Looks like James Dean–after that horrible car accident.
Or Sean Penn–after that horrible marriage to Madonna.
I was just checking out the New York Times and it seems like the Grey Lady has finally done an exposé on who is really running RLM (although I note that their grammar is really slipping):
How does he keep his keyboard and mouse so clean? I must be doing it wrong.
That is a serious conversation to be had. Alas, it cannot be had here.
The Rich is a figurehead. The Jay and the Mike are the true power. Those who control the past, control the future. They control the past by editing it. They’re the editors. Did you…did you get it?
i think i need to take my brain medicine after reading this
In the future Hot dogs are made of processed horse penis and chinese people. CHECK YOUR FACTS!
I’m so annoyed when people post their selfies.
12 oz of Space Robitussin should do the trick..
For just 40 cents a day, you too can sponsor a fake alien head.
When’s the next Plinkett Eats?
Jay can’t casually mention how he uses fleshlights and then NOT expect us to be aroused.
I agree– WE’RE not embarrassing. We’re natural byproducts of Mike and Jay’s sensibilities.
If they DID include a MacGuffin, they would probably just have Space Cop forget ALL about it so he can do stereotypical “guy” things.
Pound down a few beers with the fellas… maybe toss a ball around… enlist himself in an all-male private school…
After writing that, I just had a terrible “Dudebros.” flashback.
Also, thinking about Space Cop and typing the words “male” and “private” made me envision the Birthday Boy’s Dick. It was unpleasant. And by “unpleasant,” I mean the exact opposite of that.
When’s the next Rich Evans Steps In? (Please don’t do this)
Can we get Wacky Kid Jokes: The Movie instead?
Umm, I may have gone too far in a few places.
But it won’t feature Jay’s rubber’d head.
1001 Wacky Kid Jokes.
You mean Lich Evans.
…well, that’s getting cut.
The edgiest type of sexward.
Ah, yes, the pecking order. I should have remembered that, while I was reading you two beak it out.
Another couple I housesat for, fairly wealthy, had a $1,000/hr. tax accountant. I’d pass along her business card, but somehow she managed an early retirement.
Don’t worry, there will be. In scenes shot indoors will be a floor, and the floor will be lava, and the way you’ll know is a little chyron will flash “The floor is lava” and the characters will all skip around awkwardly, gasping “Ooo-ooo, ahh-ahh, hot-hot.”
And later, when they run back into that same room, a little chyron will flash, “The floor is lava – remember?” just so the characters don’t have to waste time playing the same beat twice, because that would be bad storytelling.
And – yes! – it’s a cheap effect, but it’s all they can afford, and all they’re asking you to do is believe in it, dammit!
Why do you say hurtful things?
You said “I’m too old for that shit” and didn’t get cut off by an explosion. Oh my god..!
I’d strive against that humongous Rich Evans bulge.
Every jamoke and jabrone, bloke and bisone. I recall that as part of a protracted thread that you started, by posing what can be either the rudest or most flattering question you can ask of someone online, namely, “Who are you?”
I dodged the question but let you nickname my nickname, NIGI, on whose meaning I was streets behind but which I’ve used myself ever since – without it flagging itself, I hope – so, there’s your credit.
Keep up the good work, guys. I WILL be seeing this, and buying a DVD/Blu-Ray copy.
My boss in the tennis office where I string is always making jokes, so he’d be asking me where my acid was at when I put on electronic/house music while I worked. But he and I always agreed on Zevon.
‘Roland’ will always be one of my favorite songs of his.
My fondness goes from “Warren Zevon” (1976) to “Mutineer” (1995), then I lost track.
His death was a real cautionary tale. I knew a card player who might have died of undiagnosed complications from his drinking, such as diabetes, as he just never went to the doctor. And it was a hell of thing to hear Zevon on Letterman saying that “I’m alright with [dying early],” and understating his fear of doctors as “one of those phobias that didn’t pay off.” Aargh.
But in the right mood, I still binge on his stuff, just like right this minute I’m binging on mid-70s to mid-80s Lou Reed.
This guy’s got a Speed van:
Of course, it was meant entirely flatteringly–in the style of Inigo Montoya or Sir Bedevere: “Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?”
Flattered I was. First, the Inigo-Westley sound clip really was charming, not least as I’d used “The Princess Bride” as a motif in earlier posts – why, it was as if you’d been reading along. Second, a true online plaintiff is more likely to have asked for that information in the form of an accusation, as in “Who do you think you are?” then backed it with a bill of particulars to contradict me in advance.
In fact, it was only because I sensed a compliment that I got dodgy. I’m sorry for the runaround on that; it’s the way of my people.
Space Robitussin could work… or maybe I should try using Raid instead. Of course, I will use the fast acting, low irritant variety.
You mean 2001: A Wacky Kid Jokes’ Odyssey.
It just occurred to me: this needs an Amazing Bulk background.
Only one pair of parents got to hear “It’s a Rich Evans!” They are the proudest parents in the world.
I just saw The Captain of the United States of America: The Soldier of Winter: The Coldest Season Tuesday night. I was watching it when Black Widow asks Cap, “Where did Captain America learn how to steal a car?” I nearly died from laughter. I had forgotten that was going to be in the film even though I had watched the review from RLM where they mentioned that the old Captain America film had him steal a car twice. The girl I was with didn’t understand why I was laughing so hard.
Then a few minutes ago I saw this video. It’s relevant to my comment. I don’t speak Russian, though.
If they’re dispensing with throwbacks, they should also ditch the cape and emblem from the age of heraldry. And that retro long underwear. But that would make him naked, and therefore a throwback to ancient Greek athletics.
Think of the doctor that got to slap that ass. I mean, THAT ASS.
You didn’t make a response video of you watching “Captain Winter: Soldier of America?” WHY THE FUCK NOT?!
That would be oddly appropriate, considering Rich’s legendary prowess in the 50-Meter Stumble.
Yeah, right, as if I’m gonna go out and make friends just to show them a poster.
What has he had?! Da tremens?! Let’s kick ass!
stop asking completely logical questions!!
actually, Rich Evans is the first example of human parthenogenesis… he gave birth to himself.
Too busy masturbating while watching the film!
I thought you meant I was really good at defusing bombs… and taking away Academy Awards from Avatar.
Oh god, it’s almost been a week since these frauds uploaded free entertainment for me. The shakes are getting worse….
The “girl” you were with? The whole comment was a subtle attempt to convince us he has a case of the not-gays.
does anyone else love jay’s laugh? i think it’s really funny when he sometimes busts out a laugh, especially when trying to stay in character on half in the bag
But there is no Harry Dean Stanton in this film. What is there to possibly masturbate to?
It’s a good laugh, but it’s best as part of a trifecta of laughter. When I watched Mike, Rich, and Jay laugh so hard they cried on their HITB Resident Evil episode, their laughing was incredibly contagious.
The Matrix Trilogy review is coming. I just know it!
That or a review of “Sex Lives of the Potato Men.”
Either way, I know we’re gonna be well taken care of.
What’s an Egg Macguffin made of? Don’t say “eggs.”
So, you’re the “other” of the two regulars who has a case of the not-gays?
Or Ewan McGregor when he realized what being cast in a prequel did for his career.
Ah. The woman of my dreams.
HOUSE OF MIRTH reference.
She didn’t win an Oscar for that. Wasn’t even nominated.
The Academy can blow me.
Quite a bit, actually, but don’t let it go to your heads.
Ass? Ass?! When are you gonna buy something, you cheap Pommy bastard? Now let’s download this sucker – “Frenzied Revenge of the Gojira Archive Interrupted, Vol. Orange” – on “1.”
Oops, missed it. …Oops, missed it. …Oops, missed it! Dammit! …Oops – sweet hissing hhhhfuck! – missed it again.
That’s true, Ewan McDonald went the long way down after that.
The Rich Evans laughs like this every time he thinks about the millions of dollars in Pepsi endorsement he pulls in. That’s what i heard anyway.
But if it came down to winning an Oscar for “House of Mirth” or being reviewed on this very site for co-starring with the immortal Ken Billingsley (reincarnated after playing Gandhi) in “Our Robot Overlords”, which do you s’pose she’d prefer?
I know exactly which she’d prefer. She told me herself. But, a gentleman does not tell a lady’s tales.
I thought this was a joke. But I checked IMDB, and it’s real.
That’s not right for Jay to leave us hanging this weekend.
The Shoji intro quad laugh was the best.
Now we just need a hextuple laugh fest and we can all die happy.
wait, this was my free content for the week? was sort of fraudulent hackendashery is this?
He was in The Avengers, so close enough.
I was just looking up “That’s My Boy” because I was explaining on Facebook how fucked up it is to have a COMEDY film that begins with statutory rape. I checked out the Wikipedia page and in the ‘Critical Reception’ section it mentions Half in the Bag:
“Online review show Half in the Bag called the film “pathetic”, it went on to criticize Sandler as a comic, including his inability to create real humor that isn’t based on childish jokes.”
I got quite excited when I saw that they were mentioned. I know it’s Wikipedia, but it’s great to see them mentioned outside of their webzone and Fecesbook.
When I followed the Wikipedia citation, I takes me to their August 2012 episode of Half in the Bag. It’s a pretty funny episode if I remember correctly. That said, I found this dumb comment where someone figured it isn’t rape if the 13 year old child genuinely wanted it ['it' being sex from their teacher, an adult in a position of authority over them]. Perhaps not in the Vatican, but in USA and Canada it is.
Wait, what the fuck is Kirsten Dunst doing there? That picture is from my ‘Funny’ folder. I accidentally clicked on it but deleted it before choosing the correct image and posting my comment. Fucking Disqus. Also, check this bullshit on their website.
Yeah…that…sure is…funny. I keep all my “funny” photos in a folder labeled “folder.”
Hey, Rich Evans didn’t even stay put once in this video! What a rip-off.
Did you also see the Shoji Tabuchi page?
Well, my ‘Annoying Bitch’ folder was getting kinda full.
I remember why I had that photo in there, and ironically it’s related to RLM. I was joking with a friend on Facebook [over a year ago over], saying that, “I’d put my Dunst in Kirsten’s cunst.” That’s a Mike quote from an old episode of Half in the Bag. I then used that photo to create this work of art. I’ll make ILM and WETA proud one day…
I wonder if any fans of Shoji’s will be directed to their webzone?
Who are we kidding? Geriatrics on death row don’t use the internet.
The far more interesting wikipedia page is that of Redlettermedia itsellf:
Where it states that Mike also makes “concert, wedding, and corporate videos”
When are we going to see Mike’s version of the Dunkin Donuts 1994 Fall Donut Event Finishing Video with Bob Rosenberg?
Hey can somebody please tell me what the protagonist of this upcoming major motion picture is called?
When’s the next “Rich Evans Reads Comments With Horror and Disdain”..?
You have Reese Witherspoon photos?
The Richevans. The Third.
Yes we do, and when Concetta comes around to administer the colon cleanse we watch the AmazinTaco channel. All of the recently widowed love Taco…
But what horrors lurk inside the cute little puzzle box? It’s all fun and games until someone gets a hook in the eye.
You misspelled “poor.”
Millions are in mourning after Disney expelled legendary EU character Darth Richevans from the Star Wars canon.
I hope Harry S. Plinkett isn’t holding out his next review for episode 7. I can’t wait that long! But I am curious for space cop. Mike n Jay would be a good director/producer on a bigger budget film. Hopefully one day…
What do you guys think their first big movie would be like? With Jay I’d think something like Sam Raimi or early Peter Jackson.. and Mike seems good at making characters interesting within a story.
I might have meant Puree, as it looks like slop.
The theme park attraction, “Come Ride Darth Richevans,” next to Toy Story Pizza Palace, will be sorely missed.
Oh, when has that EVER stopped you from filming a reaction before?
Ok, which one of you changed the caption under the Rich Evans picture to “The Rich Evans”?
Who edits the editors?
Sex Lives of the Potato Men, huh?
I bet someone is getting it in the eye..
Historically, the use of cube hooks has led to charges of blood libel and foreskin trimmings that weren’t kosher. That’s why enlightened movie Mohels have always preferred cute little spheres.
You mean like this?
I shit you not, this appeared on my Facebook wall:
We will only see that after he makes “Finishing with Bob Rosenberg.”
Computers now know exactly what you want? It has begun…
The Robot invasion will start small…
It is too late to stop it.
But it will grow.
And grow… and grow…
The Jay mike combine might be the Ministry of Hackfraud but,
The Rich Evans controls the laugh.
The Rich Evans controls the universe!
No, but I have a bunch without her spoon.
I’m hearing rumors of a special guest for the next episode of something.. Oooh
IT’S THE CURSE OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLF
Gay men rarely have female friends? That’s not the stereotype I’m familiar with.
So way down the line (or whenever) this film comes out, will there be any screenings in the area? I think that’d be awesome. I recently moved to Milwaukee and have a lot of time on my hands. I need to do things…or whatever…I guess. It’s cold here.
I recall it, too, as one I got right, just as I recall others’ replies that were perfect, usually for having some bit of logic I missed. A few examples:
Meester Smeeth: http://redlettermedia.com/red-letter-media-behind-the-scenes-shooting-zombies/#comment-1061646574
See also Percy Gryce’s avatar and the people I’ve confessed to thieving from. . . .Then the weird thing happens that as the reply is so surprising you can’t really banter with it, but as it’s so delightful you can’t just upvote it either. So, you end up “breaking character” to compliment its perfection.
It’s a rare moment, but it suggests that we’re not really hack frauds at all and only call ourselves that, because most of us want to be perfect more often but aren’t sure how.
Obey your masters. Your drug is coming.
I am absolutely flaccid with anticipation. Is that the right word?
It’s true. This morning my toaster was looking at me funny.
I think you should get your thing checked.
Phantasm! That brings back memories. Really tormented my wombspace back in the day. (I should probably explain that I suffered from a rare congenital anomaly that has since been corrected). There are few horror characters as creepy as the Tall Man! Freddie, Jason, even Michael Myers aren’t fit to lick his orb. Which was a great MacGuffin by the way… so glad I learned that term. It sounds like I know what I’m talking about.
I hope they’ll adopt you, Clayton. Self-described Creep and Weirdo.
WETA should add this to the next Hobbit movie!
I would like to see those two headbutt.
Uh, we’re getting awfully nostalgic. I hope that doesn’t mean that our best days are behind us here.
I was just rewatching the Indiana Jones Plinkett review–and it is more genius than I had remembered. I know they want to do other things, but I do I hope they don’t hold the pillow over Mr. Plinkett’s face too tightly.
Viva el Plinketto!
That flick gave me an unshakeable fear of being grabbed from behind through walls, windows, and darkened stairwells by disembodied hands. The filmmakers should have bought the actor’s birth certificate out from under him and instead called the Tall Man Angus Scrimm, which is a timelessly villainous name. And speaking of things that grab onto other things and won’t let go . . .
. . . what was that about a wombspace?
Thank god you showed up. My parade was so woefully piss free.
Especially since his name is Captain Turbo.
New Thing… Make it so!
I wouldn’t call myself a creep or a weirdo, but how many creeps or weirdos would admit to it?
Anyway, Milwaukee’s brand new to me. It’s a far cry for Austin, TX.
Joel Hodgson never lacked subtlety. I’ll fight any man who says otherwise.
Does this mean Rich Evans learned how to say Leslie Neeld?
I admit, with the many, many episodes of MST3K that there are, I’ve hardly made a dent in the show.
That said, I think Joel’s my guy. I love Mike and I’m a big fan of Rifftrax, but the Joel episodes of MST3K… those were whimsical, man.
WHERE IS MY FREE WEEKLY ENTERTAINMENT??!1!
It’s off-season. All you get are re-runs.
Welcome to snow I live in Montana but was just in Texas, my God is it different!
Fine, jeez, going to the movies without a lady is super gay.
Bro, what are you talking about? I drive a Hummer. I love guns. Boobs are the best. I love how they feel like… bags of sand. Vaginas are the shit. I love putting my penis into the vaginas until I have the climax. Male bumholes are just… icky. I don’t understand how anyone can enjoy those sexy gross things. Ewwy. Ewwy. I have a whole folder dedicated to how much I love the womens. I also like thwords. I like it when boobies bounce. I wish I could become a chipmunk and curl up into a girl’s armpit. Dude, I work out. I am the best at secks. If there were secks Olympics, I’d get a medal without contending. Adam Sandler is hilarious, bro. What do you know?
No, it just means that there’s a change coming, for which we’ll need to bring our best, but only our best, while leaving the rest in the past. Hence, RLM’s suggestion on facebook that we rewatch BotW #11 . . .
or your own rewatching of Plinkett’s Indie review, which brought __________ back to you at this critical time. For my part, I’m on record as hinting that, in time, Mike will bring back Plinkett.
After all, our heroes aren’t bohemians who wander into some dark wood and never come out, but nerds who travel and retrace the same ground repeatedly, not adventurers who get lost but explorers who map. But having been through those woods, Plinkett will emerged changed in a way that will surprise everyone, perhaps Mike most of all. But until Mike takes that turn, I’m afraid we’ll have nothing to discuss but ourselves.
Percy Gryce: -1
Now I want high speed Rich Evans laughs.
Someone once told me “honesty is the best policy”.
The same person once told me “if you can’t say something nice…”
If I say “Best of the Worst” three times, will it magically appear like Beetlejuice?
No, that will require an animal sacrifice.
That handset looks very familiar but I’m not sure. Is it the one that goes with this baby monitor?
The RLM writers are on strike.
Like, say, a Showbiz Pizza bear?
“or your own rewatching of Plinkett’s Indie review, which brought __________ back to you at this critical time.”
To fill in the blank, I would pick the “Salem Wolfman Trials.”
Percy Gryce: -1?!? I know I’m an asshole, but in the world of +1, upvotes, and likes, a -1 is like death.
Putting all that nonsense aside, though, bene scripsisti. And did I discover the secret of BOTW #11?
Or was that just a weird coincidence?
“…start throwing stones?”
Or a careboar.
“Well actually I´ve read somewhere online that Mr Plinkett is working on a new video review…right now”- Mike Stoklasa,”New Half in the Bag Commentary Tracks!”.
Wether we´ve been trolled or not, I don´t know.
Also, a big movie? Horror comedy, I agree. Darky and unapologetic. Horror
is their thing (nonmedy aside).On that note, I´d recommend you to watch this.
I think you will love this movie.
Actually, I can hardly believe it but yes. Also, I can’t believe you found a pic as tasteless as that gif of Grover’s handjob. Also, do you think Amazon would ship the wombspace, uhm, without the facehugger?
Here comes “2”!
It worked! Thank you, ghost of Michael Keaton.
“…at a dead horse.”
You’re in luck! The Amazon warehouse has a surplus of wombspaces. But if you want the Express Shipping you’re going to have to buy some Grover mittens or something.
“…that had it’s day.”
Funny, that’s just how I imagine Amazon, only with taller shelves, narrower catwalks, and a constant flow workers’ comp. claims for paper cuts.
But I promise that, if I quit RLM first, I’ll leave you those Grover mittens for dicking the birthday boy. And if you quit first, I’ll have Showbiz Pizza Bear stuffed with cheese, baked, then served cold the next morning, after I’ve left him out overnight in a box on the coffee table. Then I’ll dick the birthday boy…obviously.
You were right, it turns out, -1 is a thing. But, then, you can’t expect a Darger Prize finalist to heed any internet rules, let alone the one that happens to apply here. Just the opposite: -1 ties you for first in my book, with Mart Crowley, as someone I’ve stolen from twice.
So, while you’re scaling your way up toward Taco’s 4-digit perch on RLM’s big board, your upvotes climb to five figures, and your Dargerithm trends ever downward, you might consider which of these numbers is biggest, really. Or you could forget that and marvel how, in all of these virtual worlds of nonsense, you might well end up #1…and despair.
I keed, I keed.
Percy Gryce: -2
What are you implying? Shocking! There is no quitting.
According to The Rules, and in addition to the amendment of being blind drunk, these are the only methods in which you may depart without really leaving:
comma *editor’s note* or coma!
What, no seizures?
And especially SEIZURES!
Yes to seizures, but beware of leeeeisure!
Another fascinating site, as it seems less glib than Urban Dictionary. I’m not sure where these anecdotes fit, but they seem to confirm something.
Some 20+ years ago, I worked two stretches of 60 hour weeks at a job I disliked. Afterwards, during my time off, I went back into work anyway because I couldn’t settle myself down to do anything at home. Four-and-three-quarter years ago, I finished writing a play that I (still) love, then got summarily sick, literally all over, with a sinus infection, shingles, and another affliction I won’t mention except to say that it took six dozen suppositories to calm it the fuck down.
I wouldn’t cite their cause as leisure per se, as both episodes came after a big push, so to speak, at work. I’ve read similar anecdotes about big time movie directors, who collapse into bed once they’ve completed the editing. I think it has to do with being so busy that you go without proper sleep and food. It’s like you can be strong as long as you have to be strong, but the minute you let up…
I wish I had something funny to reply with. I suppose the suppository thing will have to do.
Can’t wait for the movie!
That was very interesting actually! I think you’re probably right, the ‘big push’ to finish a project creates a deficit of sorts. The extra energy supply (if you don’t eat or sleep right) is going to be from adrenaline. If you’re stressing your adrenals over time, you’re bound to get sick when you stop suddenly. I experienced that the last time I moved house. Once everything was packed up in storage and the place cleaned up, I fell apart with the whole gamut of flu symptoms. But everything was done so it was okay to be mess!
I don’t have any funny suppository stories to go with this!
How can we get you to submit your play to RLM?
I’m afraid you’d have to talk to the actor from the reading – there’s always one – who can confirm the play’s Z-grade crappiness for the impresarios at RLM. Or at least you could, if he was still with us. I heard he dropped dead after I didn’t reply to his Parthian email, re: his controlling interest in my script.
Moving always makes me want to end it all.
7.62 mm full glycerin jacket
Pvt. Pyle: 0
The design has been streamlined a lot since the original model!
Wait, are you sure it wasn’t in your “Rape” folder?
The ‘Rape’ folder is in my ‘Funny’ folder.
My post below still feels incomplete, as it implies that one unhappy actor caused me to quit my own play. Not so.
To shorten the story, I spent several months after that trying to produce the play, only to discover that, as good as I am at making to-do lists and getting things done, I’m not a producer. But that misadventure did lead me to the wider question of why things almost always go wrong in the arts, despite the fact that everyone involved wants to be there.
For the record: the play works well, at least on paper, as it is what’s called “well-made.” Its story goes: “A small-time contractor conspires to demolish the romantic notions of his client and crew, in this coming-of-age comedy of disembarrassment.”
P.S. I don’t know if your were serious in the first place but, again my Deercat, thanks for asking.
Rich is so mean! Jay did great work on Feeding Frenzy.
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Oh man, Im so psyched for this movie, it looks absolutely hilarious.
RLM is comedic genius.
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