The Care Boars Save Christmas


2003. An oooooold animated short film.

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  • dfadf

    So…early South Park without the funny

  • http://www.facebook.com/misterfitz Fitz von Übermensch

    This had me in stitches. Well played!

  • anonymus

    I can’t help it, but whenever I watch this on christmas I have to weep. And repeatedly scream “NO NO NO NO NO NO”. And hit my head on a desk over and over again. And claw out my own eyes. And slit my wrists.

  • George Lucas

    You think you can out do me? Hah! I’ll show you a thing or two when I make my next movie.

  • http://twitter.com/OwMyVulcanEars Deicke

    I would love to know where these two soundbytes came from:
    “HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!” and the “LET’S GO!” which is also
    featured in other Plinkett works.

  • Hank

    I have a feeling this is Mike’s Star Wars Holiday Special, only worse

  • SoDense.gov

    When are you going to release the special edition of this. Make it so the Care Boars finger first!

  • Gooilt

    The Care Boars got shot out back for ruining Christmas.

  • Cliffman

    This always scares the fucking shit out of me. Basically, your comments on “Candid Candit Camera Volume 6″ apply to this. Fucking creepy shit. A RLM classic.

  • Navon Sensei

    I have watched this a million times now because it always plays when i finished watching another video. Why’s that? It always makes me laugh but what’s the deal with this anyway?

  • The Willard

    It’s coming…

  • The Willard

    Soon…

  • The Willard

    It was cancelled.

    • FearAndSlothing

      It doesn’t have to be…

      • The Willard

        Slothy?! Where is everyone?

        • FearAndSlothing
          • The Willard

            The raunch is really ramping up over there! That Slate’s a naughty fellow!

          • FearAndSlothing

            It’s a bit much even for me! I hope Rose doesn’t stumble in there half-asleep later…

          • The Willard

            Well, she’ll get her money’s worth!

          • FearAndSlothing

            I think Slate drove everyone away.

          • The Willard

            Drove out The Ninja, that’s for sure.

          • FearAndSlothing

            There really wasn’t any conversation going on anyway. Just smut.

          • The Willard

            Yeah, you can’t plan these things. It was more exciting this morning.

          • FearAndSlothing

            It started out well. then things got out of hand very quickly…

          • The Willard

            Everyone was gone by the time I showed up, too. But you never know how these things will turn around.

          • Demagog_Dog

            I feel like Rick Moranis in Ghostbusters, trying to throw a party…

          • The Willard

            Ha ha!

          • The Willard

            RJD says he was modded…

          • FearAndSlothing

            We aren’t doing anything wrong.

          • The Willard

            We aren’t. But RJD’s a saucy fellow.

          • FearAndSlothing

            I’m more of a slothy fellow!

          • http://talkbacker.com/ Slate_Fistcrunch

            He’s a bastard!

          • The Willard

            Yeah! He — oh, wait! Didn’t see you there!

          • http://talkbacker.com/ Slate_Fistcrunch

            OH!!! I’m sneaky.

          • FearAndSlothing
          • The Willard

            That chick has some man hands.

          • FearAndSlothing

            I’m gonna allow it…

          • FearAndSlothing
          • The Willard

            Becky’s a wonderful woman with a great personality, and she’s cute as a button.

            But bitch got man hands.

          • FearAndSlothing

            I disagree.

          • The Willard

            It was just in that first photo. I think it was the angle.

            Just playing, Sloth! Her hands are lovely.

          • FearAndSlothing

            I’m glad you see it my way. I would hate to have to break out my cane sword.

          • The Willard

            I wouldn’t want to get in a fight, but honestly, I’m hardly worried. Have you seen my hand musket?

          • FearAndSlothing

            My gun has an axe at the end of the barrel. I fear no man!

          • franks_television

            Did you take my cane sword?

          • FearAndSlothing

            I have one too. I had it before you joined. Zatoichi gave it to me.

            http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/024/1/5/Sloth_Samurai_by_MissNeverwinter.jpg

          • The Willard

            You’re more prepared than Batman.

          • FearAndSlothing

            The best one is in the wolf of wall street review…

          • FearAndSlothing
          • franks_television

            And I thought I was being all original.

          • franks_television

            Her arm appears to be comically large.

          • The Willard

            I think there way have been some tinkering done with the image.

          • franks_television

            The sloth photoshopped all these images I bet.

          • FearAndSlothing

            Every image I post is 100% authentic!

          • franks_television

            I mean the sloth in the images is trying to make himself look like a player.

          • FearAndSlothing

            He’s doing a damn fine job!

          • The Willard

            How do you know he isn’t really a player? Look at his grin.

          • FearAndSlothing

            They’re gonna have to call animal control to get rid of all the sloths!

          • franks_television

            He might be, but the arm thing is suspicious.

          • The Willard

            She runs a sloth sanctuary. So the photoshop was likely done on her end, before he found the pic.

          • FearAndSlothing

            I didn’t change it. I swear.

          • The Willard

            This time I believe you.

          • franks_television

            So she is trying to make it look like she’s got all these cool sloth friends? I get it.

          • FearAndSlothing

            She’s a goddess.

          • The Willard

            And a friend to all sloths.

          • franks_television

            She needs her own Discovery channel reality series. Beauty and the Sloth, perhaps. Or Sloth Boss.

          • FearAndSlothing

            It’s on animal planet. Meet the Sloths.

          • franks_television

            Is it really? I should have known. Hot girl + Sloths = Profit.

          • The Willard

            That’s the basic formula.

          • FearAndSlothing

            Seems to be working…

            Did you find them all?

          • http://talkbacker.com/ Slate_Fistcrunch

            Can you use sexier sloths and average women?

          • The Willard

            In a pinch, but your margins do fall.

          • http://talkbacker.com/ Slate_Fistcrunch

            Pinch could be construed as BDSM….tread lightly!

          • FearAndSlothing
          • http://talkbacker.com/ Slate_Fistcrunch

            I approve!

          • franks_television

            That’s why these sloths are resorting to photoshop. It’s very hard for sloths to stay in shape. What with the slow movement.

          • The Willard

            I encountered a hiccup but I am back on track! Gimme a minute.

          • franks_television

            Tried and true.

          • The Willard
          • FearAndSlothing

            She’s the best!

          • Demagog_Dog

            I deleted a few of the extreme ones

          • FearAndSlothing

            That’s good. I thought I was the kinky one…

          • The Willard

            Yeah that was…a bit much.

          • franks_television

            That explains it. I was not seeing what all the fuss was about.

          • The Willard

            There was some wild stuff in there I tells ya.

          • franks_television

            I always miss the controversial stuff. Ah well.

          • The Willard

            Most people do. It’s quickly removed.

          • http://talkbacker.com/ Slate_Fistcrunch

            I can direct message you

          • franks_television

            Make it so.

          • http://talkbacker.com/ Slate_Fistcrunch

            Done I sent you message through the TB message system.

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Saw the first nude pic RJD posted and quickly switched on ‘hide media’ lol.

          • FearAndSlothing

            Probably for the Best! Godd Morning! How was your slumber. Can you find all the sloths? I think Willard uncovered over 30! I lost count…

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Thank God for that feature.

            Truth be told I was great until about 6am when I woke with stomach cramps, hot sweats and feeling like I was going to black out. That was rough. So shopping is cancelled and I am just resting in bed. :)

            Did you have fun last night?

            I guess it’s safe to turn on the pictures here so I’ll have a count lol.

          • FearAndSlothing

            We had fun creating Shenanigans here. My sides were hurting from laughter… All pics here are safe. The sloths are strewn about the site!

            Sorry to hear that you feel unwell. Hopefully your illness passes quickly.

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Thanks.

            They are super cute! The one on the Dojo of Becky in the boat is the nicest. They are the cuddliest little animals.

          • FearAndSlothing

            I want to get one! You need a licence from the US Department of Agriculture though…

            I will be looking into it. Giz needs a playmate…

            If I can’t get a licence, I’m just gonna move to Costa Rica!

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            I honestly had no idea how cute they were. Do they need a special environment? OMG why don’t you email Becky and ask for advice!??

          • FearAndSlothing

            They dislike the cold. And it seems they get into mischief (slowly). I would need some kind of Sloth Cage for when I’m not at home. Luckily I have a guest bedroom, but no guests. I will be looking into converting into a habitat for a cute little sloth!

            Wow! I SHOULD E-mail Becky…

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Aww bless. I am not sure it’s fair to take them from their home in the heat.

            You should definitely email Becky and visit the sanctuary lol. Genius! Is she on twitter/facebook?

          • FearAndSlothing

            I’m following here on twitter. Don’t have a Facebook…

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Don’t need it to read it :)

            https://www.facebook.com/becky.n.cliffe

            She studied in Manchester!

          • The Willard

            Do you know her? That would be a crazy coincidence.

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Oh I wish I did but nope. Remember I thought she was American lol.

          • FearAndSlothing

            She has a big Shaggy Dog!

          • The Willard

            I think you better give her a call!

          • FearAndSlothing

            Me too!

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Actually scratch wheat I just said lol.

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            What not wheat lol. I’m losing it lol.

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            She has a blog http://beckycliffe.blogspot.co.uk/

            Found it on her FB.

          • The Willard

            I found that last night, too!

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Cool huh!

          • FearAndSlothing

            Lots of new sloth pics!

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose
          • FearAndSlothing

            Don’t tempt me, Rose. I get into enough trouble on my own.

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Lol! Well it was on her blog page looking for sponsers for the sanctuary http://beckycliffe.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/help-fund-research-at-sloth-sanctuary_26.html

          • FearAndSlothing

            Maybe if I write an article or two about the Sanctuary, I can secure an interview!

          • The Willard

            I’d like to see that article regardless.

          • FearAndSlothing

            A sloth-overview, followed by info on the sanctuary and the important work they do. I’ll include a link to where you can donate!

          • The Willard

            Sounds great!

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Now you’re talking. Sounds like something for the mixed bag!

          • FearAndSlothing

            We’re gonna need a Sloth Section…

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Gonna go for a nap. Need to catch up some sleep. See you guys at home later. :)

          • The Willard

            Later!

          • FearAndSlothing

            Take it easy, Rose. Sleep well. Hope you feel better.

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Thanks. :)

          • The Willard

            Thank you, Agent Shadow Rose, you have brought us over the 200 post mark. You have earned a musket. If you choose not to carry it (as is your right as Queen), you may place it in a prominent place for display, such as atop your mantle.

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            I’ll put it over the fireplace. :)

          • The Willard

            Morning guys! We’re still here?! And welcome, Rose!

          • FearAndSlothing

            Willard! Someone is starting to notice our activity. He thinks you’re the real deal!

          • The Willard

            I am the real deal. I’m just not who he thinks I am!

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose

            Morning Willard. I’m here and in the Dojo but I would rather go home to TB. :)

          • The Willard

            Home is where your heart is.

            And my heart is in shenaniganry!

          • FearAndSlothing

            Shenaniganry is my life. I will most likely die early due to misplaced shenanigans.

          • The Willard

            A shenanigan must be carefully deployed, always.

          • FearAndSlothing

            Sometimes my shenani-gun goes off on it’s own.

          • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Shadow Rose
          • FearAndSlothing

            So thoughtful of you.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop
  • franks_television

    How disappointing.

    • FearAndSlothing

      What’s disappointing. Not enough activity? We tried.

      • franks_television

        That’s all I can ask of you.

        • The Willard

          Lend us your musket, frank. It’s a group effort.

          • FearAndSlothing

            Strength in numbers!

    • The Willard

      I was hoping you wouldn’t see.

      • FearAndSlothing

        Too late…

      • franks_television

        It’s OK. I haven’t seen much RLM stuff besides the Plinkett prequel reviews, which are brilliant.

        • The Willard

          We’re here out of love.

          • FearAndSlothing

            For sure. Best of the Worst is my favorite show and it isn’t even on TV!!!

          • franks_television

            Someone needed to dissect the prequels like that. It’s necessary for the healing process.

          • The Willard

            The Phantom Menace review is 90 minutes long and more entertaining that the film it reviews, and cuts right through that pile of BS like a razor.

          • FearAndSlothing

            So true. I could watch over and over. Can’t stand to watch the actual film.

          • franks_television

            Some people complain that he nitpicks, but I think it was essential to thoroughly identify everything that went wrong so we could understand it and have a chance to move on from the tragedy.

  • The Willard

    I found all the sloths!

    • FearAndSlothing

      Are you sure? how many did you find?

      • The Willard

        Seven. I found seven sloths.

        • FearAndSlothing

          I lost count. But I’m not done…

          • The Willard

            I cheated though.

          • FearAndSlothing

            You followed my activity, you canadian bastard!

          • franks_television

            He works for the Canadian NSA.

          • FearAndSlothing

            Those guys make great burritos!

          • The Willard

            We’re much more laid back. We get donuts on Thursdays.

          • franks_television

            I think it was the lack of donuts that sent Snowden over the edge.

          • The Willard

            A donut a day keeps the madness away!

          • FearAndSlothing

            A corset in July is worth a horde of rats.

        • franks_television

          Ah ah ah! Seven Sloths!

        • FearAndSlothing

          Then you haven’t found them all!

      • franks_television

        How many did you lose?

  • The Willard

    100 comments. We slothed this place.

    • franks_television

      That’s respectable.

  • FearAndSlothing
    • franks_television

      The Slothstine Chapel. By Slothaelangelo.

    • The Willard

      The moment man became sloth.

  • franks_television

    The fearsome giant sloth.

  • franks_television

    When sloths ruled the Earth…

  • The Willard

    Twenty-seven sloths so far!

    • franks_television

      Where are you counting these sloths?

      • FearAndSlothing

        They’re dispersed throughout the site!

        • franks_television

          That’s quite a challenge.

          • FearAndSlothing

            They move very slowly, so they shouldn’t be too hard to catch!

          • franks_television

            But they have the ability to change colors to match their surroundings. That’s sloths, right?

          • The Willard

            They also fly.

          • franks_television

            Truly amazing creatures.

          • FearAndSlothing

            Sure, why not?

    • FearAndSlothing

      I lost count. I hope they don’t get mad!

      • The Willard

        “I have a sloth” received an outsider upvote. I suspect you will draw more.

        • FearAndSlothing

          Let’s hope so… My sides are hurting!

          • The Willard

            Mine too, buddy, mine too.

        • FearAndSlothing

          It got an insider upvote. We’re the outsiders, Willard.

          • The Willard

            Not tonight, Sloth. Tonight the joint’s ours.

          • FearAndSlothing

            I’m done… At least for a while. I’ve exhausted my backlog of sloth pics…

          • The Willard

            Well done. Rarely have I seen finer shenanigans.

          • FearAndSlothing

            That is a high compliment, coming from the Minister of Shenanigans, himself.

          • The Willard

            In all honesty, perhaps the title should be yours.

          • FearAndSlothing

            Nope. That’s your title. I didn’t do anything…

          • franks_television

            You both deserve an award ceremony similar to the end of Star Wars. Rose can be Leia, and I will be Chewbacca, standing to the side and not receiving a medal.

          • The Willard

            Your assistance is greatly appreciated. You earned your musket today, frank. You may shoot anyone in the face with it you see fit.

          • FearAndSlothing

            Preferably Peach! Where is he?

          • The Willard

            Watching I, Frankenstein twice!

          • FearAndSlothing

            Wow a masochist! Is he paying to watch that shite?

          • The Willard

            First he said he was going to watch it as a double bill with the Jack Ryan movie. Then he said he was going to watch them both again so he could write a review. Then he said he thought it might be a waste of money. So he’s probably just drinking Coors.

          • franks_television

            January is a funny time for movies. Someone needs to do an article commenting on all the January releases. Or maybe multiple people can volunteer to see one movie each and do a brief commentary on it, since no one could watch all of them.

          • FearAndSlothing

            FUCK YOU, IT’S JANUARY!!!

          • FearAndSlothing

            If he was drinking Coors, he’d be here.

          • franks_television

            Sweet.

          • franks_television

            It’s like an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

          • FearAndSlothing

            What’s the twist?

          • franks_television

            That you are actually the outsiders all along.

          • FearAndSlothing

            There’s an Outsiders (Nicole Kidman) sloth poster somewhere around here…

            Can you find it?

            I can’t remember where I put it.

          • franks_television

            I may be too slothful to attempt it.

          • The Willard

            That’s the spirit!

          • FearAndSlothing

            I understand. Honestly, I can’t remember which pics I posted and which I didn’t.

          • The Willard

            You may have doubled up on Night Idler. But I could be thinking of the time you posted elsewhere.

          • FearAndSlothing

            Yeah. I’m not sure. I know I posted it in the Dojo (or somewhere) before…

  • The Willard

    Just checkin’ in. We’ll be arriving full force pretty soon.

    • BaronVonAbsinthe

      Does 2 people qualify as full-force?

      • The Willard

        When they’re as forceful as us, you bet.

        Wait and see. We’ll recruit. Frank will be here. Dio will come. He can’t use his “I’m being moderated” excuse anymore!

        • BaronVonAbsinthe

          So, What’s the plan?

          • The Willard

            I don’t know. I’m hungover and trying to eat salad. Everybody’s gone. Not much of a shenanigan really.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Damn it! Pull yourself together man! put down that salad and pour a glass of scotch!

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            How’s that salad comin’? Cobb or Ceasar? Ranch or Bleu Cheese?

          • The Willard

            It was an Asian salad. Had all kinds of nuts and dry noodles and dried fruits in it. Not bad.

            I’ll be back in a bit.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            But you just got here…

          • The Willard

            I know. Had to do stuff. I was online from the second I woke up! Now I’m getting ready for work, but I can post from work. Plus I’m getting a pizza. So no worries.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Beef and Onion, I hope.

          • The Willard

            Whatever it is, a pic will be posted.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe
          • The Willard

            Sloths who ride magic slices of pizza though space? Excellent!

          • BaronVonAbsinthe
          • The Willard

            Yeah! It’s the stuff dreams are made of!

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Where’s your pizza pic?

          • The Willard

            Haven’t ordered it yet.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Fair enough. I already ate 2!

          • The Willard

            Did you downvote Bill or was that Peach? He hates me now.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            It was me. There aren’t any questionable optical effects in that film.

            If he says something stupid, I’m downvoting him!

          • The Willard

            That’s relief. I accept your downvote. I was feeling kind of woozy when I started watching it and I will have to begin again from the beginning, but I remember this very odd effect where the sky met the top of the house near the beginning. I must have been looking at it wrong.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Nope. Strange dreamlike imagery. not sure how it was accomplished.

          • The Willard

            Okay then I really look forward to giving it another go.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Why is Peach mad at you? He plays games all the time…

          • The Willard

            Who knows. Maybe he isn’t. I can’t tell. He’s obtuse! He really hated Bill though. He’s always telling me how his respect for me is rapidly dropping. Maybe this was the last straw.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Fuck him if he can’t take a joke. Have you seen the new Best of the Worst yet?

          • The Willard

            I noticed it up there! I haven’t seen it yet. I’ve seen every single one though. Once the festing slows down I’ll get on it.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            It’s not the best, but it’s fun cuz I’ve seen 2 of the movies they watch.

          • The Willard

            I downloaded a movie I saw them do once. It was great. Xytro or something I believe i was called.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Xtro is actually a pretty good movie.

          • The Willard

            That was what I thought.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            They watched it by mistake! They did that with Thunderpants, too, which is a funny British family film.

          • The Willard

            The kid that farts? Yeah that looked great.

            I’m trying to search the site for the old Ocktoberfest articles. I can’t find the first one. I want to read again, see how things have changed.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            The first Fest (maybe the first two) were in the Dojo. Peach and I were trying to get you to call in instead of going to work so you could drink with us.

            Those were the good old days. He and I put Fest ads up all week long. And not just in the Dojo. In just about every thread on the site. Chicks making out, boobs, and beer! Good Times!

          • The Willard

            I miss those days. It’s all different now. I forgot that the first ones were in the Dojo. Man. I remember you guys telling me to call in sick. Funny.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Then the Fests started getting ugly, so Finn put a stop to it. But tonight seemed to go well, so maybe he’ll change his mind!

            Things usually turn blue as soon as Rose signs off…

          • The Willard

            We’ve all learned our lesson.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Clean tonight, though. In fact, last night was much raunchier.

          • The Willard

            Yep. It’s best to get it all out when it’s unexpected.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            I woke up this afternoon and peeked into the Shadow Dojo…
            No idea where I found that gif! It’s fucking twisted.

          • The Willard

            It’s a little creepy. It would be alright if that girl’s tongue wasn’t so grotesquely overdeveloped.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Absinthe makes me do weird things sometimes.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            They STILL haven’t posted your Burrito recipe!!!

          • The Willard

            I know. At least it is now listed as “scheduled”.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            oh. Maybe tomorrow then.

          • Kingpeach

            What is this!?

          • The Willard

            You’re so obtuse all the time! I can’t tell with you anymore.

          • Kingpeach

            I am gobsmacked by your ruthlessness.

          • The Willard

            Hardly.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            King Obtuse!

          • Kingpeach

            You finally reveal yourself and then play the victim!? That is pure Bill. Ruthless!

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Whatever happened with that fabled pizza you spoke of earlier?

          • The Willard

            I can’t make it work! Don’t ask me why! I’ve never had this problem before. I have a nice pic on my phone that I can neither transfer to my computer or post to disqus from my phone.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Did you see that food critic! He just mixed the beefaroni and the ravioli together. No fucks given!

          • The Willard

            That was amazing.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            I just watched him eat at Taco Bell!

          • The Willard

            Wow, in the field!

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Yep! he brought the camera to the Taco Bell and ate one-handed so he could continue shooting!

          • Kingpeach

            that is the best thing i have seen all day and will probably ever see

  • franks_television

    So what’s this Care Boars thing all about?

    • The Willard

      Watch it and see!

      • franks_television

        Sounds risky.

        • The Willard

          It’s not great. It always starts at the end of their latest videos because it’s next in the queue. I don’t think I’ve made it through the whole thing once.

          • franks_television

            I’m watching 90′s videos now, so maybe another time I will try it. Probably not.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            I think it’s pretty damn funny!

          • The Willard

            I haven’t even looked at it for years. I forget what it’s about.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            There’s these Care Boars (kinda like the Care Bears) and they save Christmas!

          • Kingpeach

            Why are you avoiding me all of a sudden after four months?

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            We never know who you are cuz you change your name 3-4 times a day!

          • Kingpeach

            Oh shut up you arriviste

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            I don’t speak French.

          • Kingpeach

            Tait Toi

          • The Willard

            Don’t talk damned nonsense.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            If he doesn’t talk nonsense, he’ll just be silent!

          • Kingpeach

            Very clever BaronVonAbsinthe

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            I usually am.

  • Kingpeach

    what is Red Letter Media?

  • franks_television

    Good night!

    • The Willard

      Bye!

    • BaronVonAbsinthe

      already?! later…

      • Kingpeach

        the night is young. so saeth me.

        • BaronVonAbsinthe

          I’m drinking coffee. I’ll be up for awhile.

          • The Willard

            I’m here all night boys. Sober though.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            I think I might do an article for my Fuckle Juice recipe once things get quiet.

          • Kingpeach

            I believe nothing you say now

          • The Willard

            You want to see a pic of my pizza? It just got here.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            Yes

          • Kingpeach

            that’s just what beefaroni would say to hoodwink me

          • The Willard

            Hold on a minute. Dropbox is taking forever.

          • Kingpeach

            i have like 6 buds left…and a bunch of comics…plus the internet…music…i’m chilling

  • BaronVonAbsinthe
    • Kingpeach

      give the sloth bullshit a rest

      • BaronVonAbsinthe

        Why? I’m planning an article. I sent an e-mail to the sloth sanctuary hoping for an interview…

        • Kingpeach

          haha I’m just kidding mang i love the sloths

  • Kingpeach
    • The Willard

      Good song, wrong room.

      • BaronVonAbsinthe

        The other room is empty now.

        • The Willard

          Seems that way.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            I guess everyone else sleeps at night.

          • The Willard

            So backwards.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            They need help.

          • The Willard

            Man dropbox isn’t working for me and I can’t get my pics off my phone.

          • Kingpeach

            why did you decide to finally step forward mr. ?

          • The Willard

            I thought you knew before. I wasn’t trying to trick anyone. You should read Bill’s article again. You might find it funny now!

          • Kingpeach

            I never said it wasn’t funny. I have no animus towards Bill at all. You are a genius.

          • The Willard

            Aww. Are we BFFs again?

        • Kingpeach

          yeah because you decamped here nerd

          • The Willard

            No, it’s both places at once.

          • BaronVonAbsinthe

            We were in both places. And we’re all nerds.

      • Kingpeach

        whatever I’m posting pixies shit all over da place

        • The Willard

          Might as well.

        • BaronVonAbsinthe

          This webzone is littered with sloths!

  • Kingpeach

    what is red letter media?

  • The Willard

    I’m so glad those Care Boars were able to stop that mean Mister Scary and save Christmas!

    • Slothrop

      God Bless them!

  • The Willard

    Fuckle Juice is an excellent beverage. It goes really well with a late night burrito-binge.

    • Arkansloth

      I couldn’t possibly agree with you more! I’m drinking a warm mug of Fuckle Juice right now. No burritos in the house. I’ll have to make do with pizza rolls.

  • The Willard

    I can’t wait for Space Cop.

    • Arkansloth

      It’s gonna be fucking epic. I hope it plays at the local cineplex.

  • The Willard

    Disqus seems to be down.

    • The Willard

      Hmmm. It’s working here.

  • franks_television

    Care boars.

    • Slothrop

      They are the best. The Care Boars don’t get enough love.

      • The Willard

        They really don’t.

    • The Willard

      Ayuh.

      • franks_television

        I reckon so.

        • The Willard

          *spits*

  • The Willard

    Hi Care Boars! We’ll be back soon!

    • DracuSloth

      If not for us, The Care Boars would be very lonely.

      • The Willard

        We’ve changed their lives for the better, I think.

        • DracuSloth

          It’s important to give back. They saved Christmas, after all.

          • The Willard

            We’re utilizing this space too inefficiently. It will take us too long to become the highest-counting Talkback of all time at our current rate of postage. We must step up our game. The focal point should remain centered around fests as the main point of concentrated attack, but we would do well to bear this place in mind at all other times of the day and night as we go about our online business.

          • DracuSloth

            Yes. We must step up our efforts. We’ve been slacking off. The Shenanigan Gods would not approve.

          • The Willard

            No they would not. I fear they may smite us.

          • DracuSloth

            We must make up for lost time!

          • The Willard

            Yes. Yes we should. And we must get frank back in here as well.

          • DracuSloth

            Yeah. This thread needs more snark.

          • The Willard

            He is the snark master.

          • DracuSloth

            It is literally his job. Minister of Snark.

          • The Willard

            He’s been a tad slack in his duties of late. Hopefully he makes up for it soon with a snark hurricane.

          • DracuSloth

            I think he was busy with potential romantic interests. But it sounds like that didn’t work out, so he should be back in full force soon.

          • The Willard

            No doubt snarkier than ever in that case!

          • DracuSloth

            Brace yourself for a Tsnark Tsunami.

  • Navon Sensei

    Are there no admins around? These assholes spam the whole comment section with their random shit that needs to be baned.

    • Meester Smeeth
      • Navon Sensei

        It takes a new category of an idiot to be distracted by a minor flaw to completly miss the point and fortify its position in just one word. Congratulations, Sir!

    • Now I Get It

      I thought these guys came and went weeks ago, but, no, they keep changing their user names and hanging around. As for banning them…? The spam seems to be in their profiles and not in their posts proper, so…I don’t know.

      • The Willard

        We’re unbannable. It’s because we’re so lovable.

      • franks_television

        I’m curious as to what spam you are referring, my good man.

      • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

        I hate spam. No spam from Sloth.

      • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

        We drop in occasionally, just for fun.

        We actually love RLM (especially Best of the Worst).

        As for the name changes, I’m easy to spot cuz there’s always a “sloth” in there somewhere.

        http://cuteoverload.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/photo.jpg?w=560&h=746

        • The Willard

          And I’m always a Willard. I was going to be Willard I Am but I never got the chance.

          • franks_television

            We are all the poorer for it.

          • The Willard

            Had my avatar picked out and everything. I had a little stockpile.

          • franks_television

            Such hilarity I am missing out on.

          • The Willard

            Well, not really.

          • franks_television

            I’ve enjoyed all your screen name variations.

          • The Willard

            I do aim to please.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I stockpile sloths… And retro horror reviews.

          • franks_television

            I bet I will miss out on a ton of schlocky 70′s horror movies now.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Now they will just sit here collecting dust, unread by anyone.

            Just like the ones that got published!

          • The Willard

            You should have reviewed Iron Man 3.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Never. After sitting through Thor 2, I’m done with comic book movies.

          • The Willard

            Alternately, you could review that paint-drying film.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Seems kinda pointless. I have nowhere to publish my reviews now.

          • The Willard

            Post them here! In a long Disqus post.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            That’s sure to get us “baned”!

          • The Willard

            Yes, Mr. Navon Sensei would surely blow his stack if such pranks were initiated.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I bet that guy hasn’t even been to a Shoji Tabuchi concert.

          • franks_television

            It would be highly inappropriate.

          • franks_television

            How will you score chicks now?

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I guess I’ll have to revert to my old method: Whipping my cock out at parties!

          • The Willard

            Under the right circumstances that can be effective.

          • franks_television

            I imagine that set of circumstances is extremely narrow.

          • The Willard

            It requires excellent judgement of circumstances, yes. Precision judgement even. Very risky.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Choose the wrong moment, and you’ll regret it. Trust me.

          • franks_television

            Damn, I wish I had thought of that.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Also works during field trips!

          • franks_television

            Still trying to arrange that strip club field trip.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Just tell them “Sloth said it was OK”.

          • The Willard

            That’s my go-to argument!

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Works on everyone unless they’re named Finn!

          • franks_television

            Can do!

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I can write a letter of recommendation if it’s required.

          • franks_television

            Just make sure it’s on official Sloth letterhead.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Searched for “Sloth letterhead”. This will have to suffice…

            https://mrminer.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/phish94rndornaso.jpg?w=450

    • The Willard

      Assholes? We’re all of us very fine gentlemen. Distinguished even.

    • franks_television

      We were Baned on another site, so we had to come here. He threatened to kill us.

      • The Willard

        We discovered that it isn’t necessary to understand what a fella is saying to know that he’s threatening to kill you. It always comes across.

    • franks_television

      Sorry for disrupting the lively and spirited Care Boars discussion that was in progress.

      • The Willard

        Really. How did he even know we were here? He would have had to really been looking. I bet he was a hall monitor.

        • franks_television

          Definitely a tattletale personality. It’s very funny. Probably the RLM admins have more to worry about than people having an off-topic discussion in a months old thread.

          • The Willard

            He wasn’t invited to Li’l Jeff’s party, and all the other kids were talking about it the next day in class. He never got over it.

          • franks_television

            Well, I can relate to that. But if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s a NARC.

          • The Willard

            Nope. There’s nothing remotely NARCish in you.

          • franks_television

            Darn straight.

          • The Willard

            Darn tootin’.

          • franks_television

            You betcha.

        • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

          Hey! I was a hall monitor. Jerk!

          • The Willard

            Well then you must have been the cool one. I bet you looked the other way when Ron had to cut class!

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            We had cool badges and we could get away with anything.

          • franks_television

            Did you abuse your authority?

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Of course. What’s the point of obtaining authority if you aren’t gonna abuse it?

          • franks_television

            I think that’s in the Constitution somewhere.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            It’s in the fine print.

    • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

      I think you mean “banned”. Please learn to spell, then try again!

  • The Willard

    Smells kinda stale in here…

    • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

      I don’t smell anything…

      • The Willard

        The sun is shining once again, and the cobwebs are being dusted.

  • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

    This is my new favorite song!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_geqv73zx0

    • The Willard

      Why didn’t we ever think to combine Dojo and fruit loops? These men are clearly geniuses.

      • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

        It’s too late now.

        • The Willard

          Also “Power Point Dojo”. Clearly they operate on a whole other level.

          • franks_television

            Cooler than Excel Dojo.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            According to my research, “Dojo” is a German ad agency and this video is meant to drum up business while also advertising some of the products they represent.

            They also mention Facebook and GoPro.

    • franks_television

      Pretty boss.

  • The Willard

    My Dojo muscle is out of practice.

    • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

      We’re outta shape.

      • The Willard

        Well the fuckers closed the track!

        • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

          I missed the whole thing. I would’ve raised Holy Hell.

          Talk about alienating your base…

          • franks_television

            It’s rather baffling to me.

          • The Willard

            He is a wrathful and smiting god.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Who? Finn?

            I think he’s downsizing because the site is running on fumes…

          • The Willard

            Yeah, that guy. And you may be right. Almost all articles these days are Tikk’s news posts.

          • franks_television

            I don’t see the drawback to the Dojo. If it’s because it gets too long and that somehow slows the site down, I would be fine with a new one each week or something. Other than that, I don’t see how it takes away from any other aspect of the site.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I think he feels like there aren’t enough comments elsewhere, plus it distracts us from writing articles.

          • The Willard

            Well then that certainly backfired.

          • franks_television

            Except I think without the Dojo, people will be less interested in participating in the site by writing articles or commenting. Dojo people made up a large portion of comments in other articles.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I feel the same. He made a mistake. Will he course-correct? Who knows?

          • franks_television

            He seems pretty set on no Disqus dojo at least, based on what he’s said. Maybe he’ll change his mind. I do wonder if the site can make it with or with the Dojo. I think it deserves to but I guess there is a lot of competition even though I think Talkbacker could have its own niche.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            But the community aspect was the niche and the Dojo was our Town Hall.

          • franks_television

            Yeah, I think so too. A community of movie geeks running their own site.

          • The Willard

            Well put. How he doesn’t see that is peculiar.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Maybe he’s blind. We should send him some bifocals.

          • The Willard

            I never considered he had an actual disability but now that you mention it it fits the facts the best.

          • franks_television

            Invented by Ben Franklin. True story.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            That guy loved opium.

          • The Willard

            And kites.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            The two go together.

          • The Willard

            Every child knows that!

          • franks_television

            And French prostitutes.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Mr Franklin and I share a lot of interests.

          • franks_television

            He seems like a cool guy.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Way cooler than Taft.

          • franks_television

            Taft was overweight. Little known fact.

          • The Willard

            It’s a shame you weren’t there. You could have swayed them!

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I doubt that. You are over-estimating my power. Dio did that too.

            He told me the site was doomed without me. He’s lost the plot.

          • The Willard

            It is doomed without you. I peek in from time to time. It’s a ghost town. Frank is trying his best but the others just refuse to shenaniginate.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Our shenanigans were not appreciated by the powers that be.

          • The Willard

            No they were not.

    • franks_television

      Better do some stretching before any serious shenaniganry.

      • The Willard

        Oh most assuredly. I am in no kind of shape for proper shenaniganry.

        • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

          Only improper shenanigans for now.

          • The Willard

            Those have their own unique charms.

  • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop
    • The Willard

      Can only the long-haired sloths operate motor vehicles?

      • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop
        • The Willard

          To be honest, this fellow appears not quite to have the hang of it. Three toes that are really just claws are sometimes a liability, it would seem.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop
          • The Willard

            It’s nice that he lets his pal, red-eyed tree frog ride the wing like that. Good thing you have sticky feet, frog!

          • franks_television

            Restaurant?

          • The Willard

            Haberdashery, oddly.

          • franks_television

            Had to look that up. Sewing supplies it seems.

          • The Willard

            That’s where I had to do my clothes shopping in my cowboy days.

          • franks_television

            All the best cowboys shop at the Flying Sloth.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            no. It’s a picture.

          • franks_television

            Ah. Silly me.

  • franks_television

    When Rose logs onto Twitter tomorrow she is going to have like a million notifications.

    • The Willard

      I noticed that!

    • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

      That’s what she gets for talking about porn.

      • franks_television

        Oh yeah, I forgot that whole conversation originated with porn.

        • The Willard

          When you think about it, porn is the origin of all things.

          • franks_television

            That is the next episode of Cosmos I think.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Can they show porn on cable?

          • franks_television

            If it’s educational.

          • The Willard

            How is porn ever not educational?

          • franks_television

            I’ve certainly learned a lot from it.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I recently acquired this…

            http://vinegarsyndrome.com/launch/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/VS-018_DVD_web.jpg

            It’s a documentary about blowjobs!

          • The Willard

            Finally!

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I get strange things in the mail…

          • The Willard

            I bet you do!

          • franks_television

            I assume you ordered it rather that it just randomly showing up in your mailbox?

          • The Willard

            They just send it to him now.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Pretty much.

          • franks_television

            It’s a safe assumption he’ll want it.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Vintage pornography fully restored from the original camera negative? Yes, please!

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I ordered a different movie. There’s been some kind of hold-up due to the limited nature of the release. They sent me a few DVD’s to say sorry.

  • franks_television

    Peach is tweeting. He should come over here.

    • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

      I don’t think Peach is hip to RLM.

      • franks_television

        Peach is a hep cat.

        • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

          Peach is a cunt.

          • franks_television

            He is all these things and more.

      • The Willard

        He was here once. He wasn’t quick to cotton on though.

  • franks_television

    Is it rude to have a conversation on Twitter? Are you just supposed to post stand alone witty comments?

    • The Willard

      At first I worried about that. Then I stopped worrying about it.

      • franks_television

        I guess if Norm MacDonald can tweet a play by play of an entire golf tournament it’s OK.

        • The Willard

          I had to unfollow him! I could handle the long scrolls of golf shit, although I didn’t enjoy it, but it was crashing my Twitter.

          • franks_television

            That’s too bad. I will retweet if he posts anything really funny.

          • The Willard

            Thanks pal! Turns out Steve Martin is quite witty though. He is a master Twitterist.

          • franks_television

            I think I’ve heard that. I should follow him. Didn’t he put out a book of his tweets?

          • The Willard

            He certainly could. He’s really good.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I’ma see him play the banjo this summer!

          • The Willard

            Excellent! He’s as good at that as he is at comedy. He may be the only actor/musician who is great at both.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            He’s written some decent novels too. He’s one wild and crazy guy!

          • The Willard

            I’d be willing to read one of his novels. In fact more than willing. I’ma get on that!

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop
          • The Willard

            Seems like a book he would write, doesn’t it?

          • franks_television

            I hear he’s good at that, too.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            You need a better Twitter.

          • The Willard

            This is likely the case. You know where I can get one?

          • franks_television

            Black market.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Try a pet store that specializes in birds.

    • The Willard

      They can’t Bane you from Twitter!

      • franks_television

        Can’t they?

        • The Willard

          I suppose he has his people everywhere…

          • franks_television

            I saw Jesus on AICN recently. Speaking of Baning.

          • The Willard

            Was he mad?

          • franks_television

            I didn’t talk to him. He was posting about the sequel to that The Purge movie. He was of the opinion that the first one sucked.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            He liked Pacific Rim so his opinion is not to be trusted.

          • franks_television

            Well I think he’s probably correct in this particular assessment.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            BOOOOO!!!!

          • franks_television

            Referring to The Purge, not Pacific Rim. Pacific Rim was very stupid.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Haven’t seen The Purge. I’m boycotting the theater/new movies.

          • franks_television

            Except for Michael Bay’s Ninja Turtles I assume.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I refuse to see Teenage CGI Ninja Turtles!

          • franks_television

            But it looks so good!

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I’ll watch it if Vanilla Ice has a cameo. If not, what’s the point?

          • franks_television

            True for most movies.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Except That’s My Boy.

          • The Willard

            He was a virulent Pacific Rim supporter.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            A sure sign of delusion.

          • The Willard

            Believing oneself to be the Son of God doesn’t help, either.

    • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

      I think it’s rude not to…

  • franks_television

    Why is the organization of comments so confusing on Twitter?

    • The Willard

      Cause Twitter is essentially ass!

    • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

      I don’t think it’s intended for conversation.

      • The Willard

        Well Misuse is my middle name!

        • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

          The Misuse Willard?

          • The Willard

            Has a ring to it, doesn’t it?

      • franks_television

        Why is it so hard to have a decent internet discussion these days?

        • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

          Because the Dojo is gone…

          • franks_television

            I miss the AOL chatrooms of yore.

          • The Willard

            Were they like Dojos? I was not hip to this AOL you speak of.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Did you have COL instead?

          • The Willard

            Yeah, it was always bogging down from the syrup!

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Sop that shit up with some flapjacks!

          • franks_television

            America Online. It was the original internet provider. Yeah, they were a bit like Disqus. Comments showed up in real time. Just random people talking about stuff.

          • The Willard

            Why don’t they bring that shit back? That’s sort of my thing.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Isn’t that what we’re doing now?

          • The Willard

            Sure, but why isn’t America doing it?

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            We are America. Part of it, anyway. The rest of the country is watching Noah and stuffing their fat faces with popcorn.

          • The Willard

            Don’t you want to find out if they make it through the Flood? Personally, I’m not sure that boat of logs is up to the task. And don’t get me started on the animal problem.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            No thanks. I want to see Grand Budapest Hotel, but it isn’t playing.

          • franks_television

            WTF is the deal with that? They are advertising it like crazy but it seems only a select few get to see it.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            They don’t want my money.

          • The Willard

            I thought it was just me in my little prairie town. Glad it’s you guys too.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            No GBH but Noah is on 4 screens. Fuck the theaters. They cater to a different demographic.

          • franks_television

            We got Moonrise Kingdom but not this for some reason. Wes Anderson Teasery!

          • franks_television

            I hadn’t even heard of this movie until a few days ago. Now it seems to be a big deal.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            It’s the new Passion of the Christ. Now with cuddly animals!

          • franks_television

            It’s a good question. Web browsing changed so they didn’t really have the instant messaging capacity like the original AOL service did. I don’t really know, though.

          • The Willard

            If I was a smarty-pants internet entrepreneur I would def bring that shizznit bazzazzack.

          • franks_television

            Nice lingo!

          • The Willard

            Thazzazzanks!

          • franks_television

            Whoa. Am I talking to LL Cool J or something?

          • franks_television

            As a teenager I spent many hours doing that. Of course they charged hourly rates so my parents weren’t happy with that.

          • The Willard

            I never had the internet as a teen, then I moved out and was too poor for a computer never mind the internet, so I missed a lot of that stuff. Just getting tech-savvy (if you can call me remotely tech-savvy) now.

          • franks_television

            How sad. Not sure how I would have gotten through high school without being able to slowly download jpegs of naked women while trying not to wake my parents.

          • The Willard

            That was when I visited my dad. Only three minutes for a medium-sized image!

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I remember those days! Kids today have it so easy. Streaming porn available on their phones at all times. rotten bastards!

          • The Willard

            Kids must be masturbating all over the place now!

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            No wonder the floors are sticky!

          • franks_television

            Fucking millennials.

          • franks_television

            Actually Slothrop is technically a millennial I guess. Willard and I just missed it. Damn you Slothrop, with your cell phones and CD players.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Am I? I feel too old to be a millennial. I don’t even know what a millennial is.

          • The Willard

            You’re a gen-Xer in a Millennial’s body.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            What’s the cut-off? I originated in ’83.

          • The Willard

            Actually you’re a Vietnam Vet in a Millennial’s body.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            We never did get that log flume…

          • franks_television

            Damn it, what is that from? I’m going to feel like an idiot.

          • The Willard

            It sounds like you half-got it, whereas I did not get it at all. So you win.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            I refuse to tell.

          • franks_television

            OK. I found it. It was South Park. Apologies for the outburst.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop
          • franks_television

            Thanks. Now I remember.

          • The Willard

            I hear a sloth never tells…

          • franks_television

            He’s got buddies who died face down in the muck so that you and I can enjoy this Care Boars thread.

          • franks_television

            If you’re born after 1980. That means you’re the same generation as high school freshman. Whereas Willard and I are Gen X’ers like Christian Slater.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            What a bunch of bollocks!

          • The Willard

            I think we’re right on the cusp of Gen Z and Gen Y.

          • franks_television

            I think they just scrapped the whole Generation Y thing.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            The Y stands for Youtube!

          • The Willard

            It wasn’t cutting the mustard.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop
          • franks_television

            What wouldn’t cut through mustard? Mayonnaise I guess.

          • The Willard

            No, mayonnaise does not cut the mustard at all.

          • franks_television

            Not bad! I remember how exciting it was when the nipples finally loaded.

          • The Willard

            Kept you going til you got to the prize!

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Were the chatrooms full of hookers?

          • franks_television

            I assume that all the girls I talked to were actually middle aged men.

          • The Willard

            A safe bet.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            Why the hourly rates? Sounds like a seedy motel on the outskirts of town.

          • franks_television

            That’s how it was done back in the days of dial-up. Like long-distance phone service.

          • The Willard

            We’ve nearly doubled the comment-count here this night at least.

  • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

    We need to find a way to get more people involved in this shenanigan.

    • franks_television

      I agree.

    • The Willard

      I Tweeted Peach and he just doesn’t care! What’s up with that? Is he a man or a mouse?

      • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

        He’s actually a sperm whale.

        • franks_television

          The manliest kind of whale.

          • The Willard

            Certainly the spermiest.

          • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

            The Burt Reynolds of the ocean.

          • The Willard

            That’s why they have the ‘stache!

      • franks_television

        He’s busy playing Minecraft apparently. Do you just build stuff in that game?

        • The Willard

          You build everything in the game using your environment. It really is quite fun, although some people seem to hate it.

          • franks_television

            Is there a social aspect?

          • The Willard

            If there is it eludes me.

            But there probably is. I think maybe you can jump into other people’s worlds.

          • franks_television

            Do you have to fight anything?

          • The Willard

            Yeah, at night the monsters come out. You will die very quickly at the start of the game because you have no weapons yet. So you have to tunnel into some dirt and then cover up the entrance to your little cave and wait it out. Kind of boring the first night or two, until you get going.

          • franks_television

            Well that sounds a bit more interesting.

          • The Willard

            You should try it. There’s a free one called Survivorcraft you can get for your phone.

          • franks_television

            Perhaps. Although the last thing I need is something else to waste time on.

        • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop
          • franks_television

            That looks more like my kind of game!

          • The Willard

            Madhog has that game!

          • franks_television

            Poor Madhog. God bless ‘im.

          • The Willard

            Someone really oughtta tell him.

          • franks_television

            As long as he’s happy I say let him do his thing.

  • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

    The Dojo is dead
    Talkbacker will soon follow
    Fun while it lasted

    • franks_television

      That is one depressing haiku.

      • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

        Sad Sloth doesn’t care
        The world is filled with darkness
        What do you expect?

        • franks_television

          True enough.

  • The Willard

    I have to disappear for awhile now, but if America is interested, America can find me here from time to time, waiting for some kindly soul to throw a shenanigan…

    • http://www.talkbacker.com Slothrop

      Later, Mang!

    • franks_television

      OK, I should go to bed too. Nice talking to you gentlemen.

  • Beefaroni Bill

    What happened to the sloths?

  • Ted

    why does santa have jaundice?

  • AceRay

    The only funny part was when the bad guy turns the dial from “toys” to “nuclear warheads”, as though that was always built in Santa’s workshop

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