RLM Merch Update

August 27, 20151,263 Comments

http://www.redlettermedia.bandcamp.com

Just a quick video to let everyone know that we have some new items for sale as well as some sold out ones that are back in stock!

Filed in: Best of the WorstGeneral UpdatesHalf in the Bag

  • dollar store cashier wife

    The amount of contempt for us in this video is off the charts.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    2nd

  • dollar store cashier wife

    3rd!

  • Tunamonkey

    But where are the mechs?

  • tOmy`

    What a value, Susan.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’s right Satan!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    right next to bamby.

  • tOmy`

    That Satan line doesn’t bother me as much as the fact the the last audible thing appears to be “skull fuck you”.

  • tOmy`

    On the fucking roll, there, buddy. Now we gonna have to wait for the rest of the people to notice and come here and / or delete their accounts.

    We can play some charades while we wait.

  • Preston

    I’m assuming “mech” is short for “mechanicals,” as in the group of characters from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.” From Wikipedia: “Named for their occupations as skilled manual laborers, they are a group of amateur (mostly incompetent) actors.” Sums up Jay and Mike rather nicely, no?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Mike is doing his sergeant hartman impression…or he was stating his biggest desire to impose on us-the loyal[but hated]fans

  • Sully

    Is Disqus charging by the letter now, you hack-fuckin’-frauds?

  • Bubs

    It’s about time you guys updated your mech. He’s about as outdated as a Commodore 64. Maybe you can update Fuckbot while you’re at it. The new 6000 model has a reacharound mode.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    In 12 years they will have saved up enough money from the Kodak printer chanllenge to get those few extra letters.

  • tOmy`

    Hey, webzones ain’t cheap, these frauds are running a scheme!

  • Like Icare

    Oh shit!

    Remember what happened last time RLM made an announcement like this?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=00E6-eBvX4M#t=10

  • tOmy`

    Rich Evans on the freaking cross, those t-shirts are 30 dollars a garbage? Who the fuck do you think I am? Tina spambot with a great rack and even greater Alpha Romeo?

  • Like Icare

    …and if you stick your penis into any of this merchandise (including the bottle opener) and post a photo of it here or on Placebook YOU WILL GET BANNED!

    *This message is not directly endorsed by RLM nor is it a call for penile-activism.
    RLM is not liable for personal injuries resulting from sticking body parts into stuff.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    instead of charades offer your insight about this picture(I find it hysterical):

    http://i.imgur.com/48FypaA.jpg

  • Like Icare

    They are talking about machine elves. If you ingest enough drugs they come out of the walls and show you the Universe from the outside.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N,N-Dimethyltryptamine#Machine_elves

    Just ask Grant Morrison.

  • Bubs

    Is there really such a thing as a “necessary human being”? All signs point to no.

  • Like Icare

    How can a skull fuck you when it has no penis?

    Oh… right… I forgot.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=aV–HzX9__I#t=171

  • Like Icare

    Yes there is.

    The person making the doughnut. Or the sandwich if that is your fancy.
    Everyone else can fuck off as long as we have someone to make the doughnuts. Or sandwichers.

  • tOmy`

    People be hating because Yolandi be a rich bitch :<

    Or as Ninja eloquently put it: "Fuck all of you who said I wouldn't make it / Who said I was a loser / They said I was a no-one / They said I was a fuckin' psycho / But look at me now:
    All up on the interweb!"

  • Those aren’t mechs, you fucking frauds! http://i.imgur.com/KoxQj1y.jpg

  • tOmy`

    There is also a “skullfuck” tag on some of the pornsites.

    Man, wanking is a constant path of education.

  • Like Icare

    Maybe they could make a poor East European (or African Cambodia) version where they just mail us the front half of the shirt, and then we hire a small child to sew it onto the back part of a shirt purchased locally?

    $ImApoorBoyFromApoorFamily

  • tOmy`

    Sounds like a Gap idea!

    I mean great idea!

  • Like Icare

    Wanking should be given a Nobel peace prize for helpin the world vent its sexual frustration and thus preventing the WW3.

  • Like Icare

    That’s Right Susan!

  • What does this mean?

  • That they’re sellouts and shills?

  • Like Icare

    That’s why it’s an update.

    They took the dead empty husks of the Transformers killed in the last Transformer war and made them into mechas.
    Sorta like Transformer zombies.

  • Like Icare

    I thought they were pawns?

  • instant relief

    I thought they were untalented assholes.

  • Like Icare

    Not hackfrauds? My world just shattered into pieces.

  • tOmy`

    So in case you fans of Breaking Bad finale were wondering:

    http://www.dorkly.com/post/75930/just-a-bunch-of-men-who-love-silly-hats

    (SPOILERS!)

  • “You may not be cool to work for Lightning Fast VCR Repair but now you can pretend that you are”. I guess they saw that guy’s audition. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu_YMM9dTxg

  • Nintendo allowed this? Those CEO:s at Nintendo [REDACTED)!

  • It may have been uploaded earlier and someone stole it from the guy’s channel to upload it on theirs. Take a look at the comments. In all fairness, the guy’s stuff is not terrible on a technical level… it’s just that I’m baffled at the very idea of an audition for a position at RLM.

  • I don’t think he will fit in the gang either. The chemistry is off.
    I thinks he’s OK. Better than many other Youtube reviewers and celebs. HAVE YOU SEEN THAT DWEEB WITH THE VIBRATING PARROT! That channel gave me cancer.

  • Brack to the Future

    Don’t nobody besmirch the merch.

  • AWGAWD!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    aw some of Jon’s stuff is totally fine though:/

  • Crazy how enthousiast i get to watch those merch updates, as much as for any of their reviews and stuffs.. Well done RLM! *goes to watch the “Chunky’s Chicken” for the hundredth or thousandth time*

  • tOmy`

    Cuz we have been tricked into thinking that these frauds are selling mechs. How do we look, like some freaking customers or something?!

  • Brack to the Future

    I’m a customer. I buy 12-packs of pint glasses, then because I don’t drink, I take them to local ale houses and leave them in bar situations, or at the restaurant tabletop. It’s fun, and a great way to stay in shape.

  • You good sir, are an unsung hero.

  • tOmy`

    Well, you out of all people could change that!

    DROP THE BEAT, JOHNNY!

    JOHNNY?

    Oh…

  • Brack to the Future

    I do truly love these guys. Sure I give them a hard time but they make the world a better place. Just wish they had 100-packs of RLM cork coasters. Collectors’ items, and awesome to deposit on my trips through Bavaria.

  • I know its probably a typo error but now i want to see Mr Evans Driving his own customised glorious giant Mecha.

  • Brack to the Future

    That would be funny. It’d have a pot belly, stubble and a can of Mr Pibb welded to its giant hand.

  • Miguel Angel Teran Mendez

    I want everything, I love you guys!!! you should sell a dinner with Rich Evans!

  • Are they more valuable than a TNG Riker doll? Waaeelll let’s ask the average consumers what they think: LANDFILL.

    #OOOOOOOH

  • I wanna see him slowly bend himself and extend his arm to reach a ridiculously small hot dog dropped on the asphalt.

  • Brack to the Future

    I had a nuncle who collected sugar cubes. US, Canada, Europe, Yugoslavia, Tunisia, holy moly. One day he goes to his collection in the top of his closet, pulls out the keepsake box and notices a characteristic odor of mouse piss and shit. It had become this drug den, this Studio 54 for mice.

  • Domo

    I keep watching til the end of the video in hopes of hearing “Continued in Part Two.”

    But it never happens. I’m So depressing.

  • Brack to the Future

    I think he has some sort of dumb-waiter snack conveyor because that mech shit works up an appetite. A little Alien mouth pops out of the foot.

  • I actually googled the films mr Stoklasa mentioned in the beginning he sopposedly starred in. We are a just pawns big fans.

  • Damn spelling. I’ll just leave it.

    *opens beer bottle*

  • Django Plimpton

    finally some Lightning Fast merch!

  • RLMkeepitup

    lol at Jays childlike excitement and curiosity for these products and Mike’s creepy lingering looks

  • Brack to the Future

    I’m getting that Lightning Fast shirt. It’ll go great with my budding collection of saucy shirts like “i found this humerus,” “welcome back, carter” and “you are being monitored.” Plus a whole bunch from Bad Lip Reading. “i’m an alchemist the beat is my base metal” is probably my favorite.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    WHERE ARE THE LIGHTNING FAST VCR REPAIR PATCHES?!

  • Palpatine

    Another RLM merchandise video?! Oh God, does that mean another comment war will happen?!

  • Brack to the Future

    *speeling

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s right, PalpBo!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I want to see Rich Evans in a Pacific Rim or anime like mech.

  • Palpatine

    PaBo is no longer with us, just so you know.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What? You mean Pa Kent? What happen? Was it a heart attack or was it a tornado that we could’ve easily saved him from?

  • My ex wife

    I think their wonderful.

  • Changed it. Sorry to ruin your joke.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No that’s Josh Trank.

  • Palpatine

    He and Andrew had an argument in the comments on the last video, which ended with Pa closing his Disqus account. Andrew did feel bad afterwards though.

  • Shirts?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’ve always wondered, where did Harry bury you? Bambi is a dumpster, but where is your body?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Shits?

  • Palpatine

    Why didn’t they tell us about the mech they’re building?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Fear of industrial espionage.

  • Palpatine

    Shrits?

  • Jelous?

    #clonearmy

  • Palpatine

    I guess they don’t want TGWTG finding out about their mech.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Rich growing a beard and RLM is doing something related to mechs and a certain big game comes out on the first involving both.
    http://www.flickeringmyth.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Artworks-metal-gear-solid-v-the-phantom-pain-038.jpg

  • It has cutscenes. Jack will hate it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The RLM Mechs were made as a form of internet deterrence.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mitts?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t worry it has a pirate.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCiageqMHJc

  • Palpatine

    Does Jack like any games that aren’t indie or Nintendo?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • instant relief

    Chronicle was a pretty cool movie. I think the studio just screwed him over on FF.

  • instant relief

    So do I.

  • bruce wayne

    Where’s the Plinkett Merch god damnit!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Domo

    That Susan is going places.

    Most likely a landfill, but that’s better than a VCR repair shop that makes house calls on top of freezing mountains.

  • Pulp

    That explains all those half-shirted East Europeans, along German roadsides.

  • Palpatine

    Am I allowed to be excited for this?!

  • Domo

    Well, you’re Palpatine.

    So long as it’s evil, and you show utmost glee in evilness, all is right with the world.

  • Palpatine

    I wonder what Pa thought about it? Pa? Pa? Oh yeah, he left.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well you’re buddies Snoke and Kylo are in it.

  • Domo

    Well, what do you think about the Star Wars stuff? We found out this morning about Star Wars getting every Imax theatre in North America for a full month. And even then, I’m not 100% sure I’ll be able to get a seat!

  • Palpatine

    Am I the only one who finds those names to be weird?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Your name is Darth Sidious.

  • Palpatine

    I don’t watch movies in 3-D or IMAX.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Pa? Pa?! PAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT8m1Rk0oCU

  • Palpatine

    I was referencing Jaws’ comments about the names being stupid.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ohhh yes. Sorry being and idiot. I personally like them a lot.

  • Domo

    Snoke kinda sounds like Snorks. Which look like this:

    http://popzara.com/assets/2012/10/20/snorks_complete_01550.jpg

    And if it means Mike might make another Q*bert snout fucking-type comment in a HiTB, I’m all for it.

  • SPOILERS! See’ya later broderinos. I’m off the comments till things calm down. I’m guessing this is a hot topic and people want to comment.

  • Palpatine

    They sound pretty Star Wars-y.

  • Domo

    So you have no opinions about Star Wars? Are you excited about it at all? What are you excited about?

  • Palpatine

    Oh I’m excited as hell for the movie!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The best Star Wars movies since the originals were video games. It’s great to see them Star Wars be Star Wars again.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Domo

    Sweet! Hopefully a Plinkett cosplay will show up at your local theater and share his (Snuck-in) booze with you.

  • instant relief

    They look like they ate too much MechDonald’s. https://youtu.be/6zXDo4dL7SU

  • Palpatine

    Star Wars and Transformers, two of the most merchandise heavy franchises ever, together at last.

  • Palpatine

    I can’t believe how real everything in that teaser looked.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Finn does look pretty awkward holding that prop-I mean lightsaber. Maybe it’s because he’s never used it before but he looks awkward.

  • RLMkeepitup

    you know space cop is in 3d

  • RLMkeepitup

    yes they will travel together to the ninja turtle planet

  • RLMkeepitup

    there is a shirt if you click the link. what ya want a pizza roll box with bloody fingerprints all over it? some bones in a small bin? a left over qui gon sucker in a titanic bin?

  • bruce wayne

    That’d be a good start. I was thinking more like some of that tasty cat meat he has for sale on line, perhaps a print of Harry’s creepy notebook, a RLM embossed gat that I can squeeze; (’til my clips is empty.) And a Mr. Plinkett coffee cup that has a micro chip in it that plays, “come with me, and you’ll be, in a world of pure imaginaaaation.”

  • Bubs

    Wow! Those are so fucking cool Kill me!

  • Its_So_Dense

    He says something along the lines of, “He told me to put a 666 on your forehead and skullfuck you”.

  • Django Plimpton

    Is that supposed to be Anakin’s lightsaber?

  • Kirke

    I see that The Canadians are still the ones doing the special effects, you can clearly see it’s them, the quality is so Canadian.

  • Kirke

    I would like to see the Trank cut of the film, given that I actually enjoyed the Tranky parts.

  • Pop Rivets

    They’re building Rich Evans a pair of robot legs?! Alright! [opens new tab to Patreon]

  • JimBob

    I want to buy some mechs.

  • What was that bit buried in the audio at the end about “…in the forehead and skull-fuck you” ?

  • instant relief

    Same here.

  • Palpatine

    Has Mike lost weight or something?

  • instant relief

    Yea, I think his brain fell out.

  • Red Skeleton

    What? WHAT!? You STILL don’t have any more of the Plinkett/RotJ posters in!?

    http://www.redlettermedia.com/images/store/plinkett_star_wars_poster.jpg

    YOU’RE STILL ADVERTISING THEM UNDER “RANDOM POSTS” YOU FUCKS! STOP TEASING ME WITH THIS “NEW POSTER” BULLSHIT!!

  • Palpatine

    I look good in that poster.

  • RLMkeepitup

    giggity

  • instant relief

    a word that provokes sexually generated activities.

  • Noah R.

    A big wookiee huge to the guys at RLM *reaches arms out

    I can FINALLY buy some merch, big thanks 🙂

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Flat camera shot of two guys talking, standing awkwardly in front of a green-screen, sterile, CGI background.

  • Noah R.

    At least they are more honest with the business side of the film than Jorge….

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I think Lucas was very honest about his ultimate intentions for the Star Wars movies, at least from Return of the Jedi and onward. Or at least he was giving the fans enough clues so they could figure it out: Ewoks, Jar Jar, vehicles! variants, a little kid, light-sabers!

  • Noah R.

    Yes, as a child who grew up with prequel era toys, I can honestly say that I fell victim to Lucas’ smart move. Oh well, it’s bound to happen when a movie makes it big in today’s world.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    If you were a kid during the prequels, that’s ok, perfectly understandable and natural. Thing is there were any number of ADULTS that fell for that trap too.

  • Noah R.

    Yes, I was almost exactly one year old when TPM came out. Commercially speaking, I was exposed almost exclusively to the prequel trilogy growing up.

    I am lucky to say that my first Star Wars experience was the OT on VHS. After that I saw the prequels and for a while (probably ages 5-12) I loved the prequels. However, after a while I just couldn’t force myself to watch them.

    I watch the OT frequently, but I couldn’t tell you the last time I sat through all of a prequel and enjoyed it. Hell, it must have been in elementary school…

  • instant relief

    A camera and B camera. Shot, reverse shot.

  • instant relief

    Did somebody say lightsaber? *instantly relieves himself*

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Quite honestly, I don’t have a dog in that fight. I’m one of those who don’t care either way about Star Wars. I’ve seen the OT movies, but I’ve never seen the prequels. I always thought that it was because the Star Wars movies were a thing of the past in the mid 80’s-early 90’s, so I grew up exposed to other movies and cartoons, but most of the people my age are huge fans of SW, so I don’t know.

  • instant relief

    Good for you, I need my money for heroin. *awkward silence*

  • Noah R.

    You should watch them, just so you can understand what would drive somebody *cough* Mike Stoklasa *cough* to make super long, negative reviews on them!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    About as weird as Sheev.

  • Noah R.

    Oh…

  • instant relief

    Yeah, share the pain with us betrayed fanbois.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’ve seen the Plinkett reviews enough times to feel like I’ve seen enough of the prequels.

  • instant relief

    Oooooooohh…. who’s fucking with my brain, medicine?

  • instant relief

    That’s Chief Palpy for you. Galactic Cop of Spaaaaaace.

  • instant relief

    Your lack of prequel hate is disturbing.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Chief Palpy sounds weird too.

  • tOmy`

    Oh look, it’s a guy with a red lightsaber and a dude with a blue lightsaber. Wonder who is gonna be the bad one…

    The black one of course.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I don’t hate Star Wars, but I’m annoyed at how hyperbolic the fans get. Star Wars The Force Awakens will make a trillion dollars! Star Wars the Force Awakens is going to cure cancer! Star Wars The Force Awakens will be better than Star Wars the Force Awakens!

  • RLMkeepitup

    cause its one sexy brain.

  • tOmy`

    The only question remains: Where would you fuck Force Awakens?

    Especially since I am confident that forcing yourself on someone who isn’t fully awake is considered a rape.

  • Palpatine

    Wait a minute, you’re 17?

  • tOmy`

    Hence the name of Mike’s biography:

    The Sexy Brain: Neurons Behind Fuckbot

  • instant relief

    J. J. says No means anal.

  • Noah R.

    Yes. Why?

  • tOmy`

    Cool facial hair for someone your age.

  • Noah R.

    I can agree with that. I don’t like hype at all, I just want a good film.

  • Noah R.

    I try 😉

  • instant relief

    I’d buy that for a… an insignificant amount of U.S. currency.

  • instant relief

    But I touched your genitals!

  • Noah R.

    Well then, you’re in a pickled cucumber!

  • Michael

    I think Jay may have bought a shirt I wore in 1992 at a thrift store.

  • instant relief

    Oh, my lord! I gotta flee the country! Better yet, flee the planet and hide on Alderaan. I’m sure nothing bad will come off that.

  • Michael

    I mean he bough the shirt at a thrift store. Not that I wore it at a thrift store. Though I am sure I did.

  • tOmy`

    Do you think it is the same thrift store that they got Rich Evans in?

  • Palpatine

    I’m surprised RLM has such a young fan like yourself.

  • instant relief

    I know it, because I sold it to you!

  • Palpatine

    That shirt looks like it could fit Rich Evans.

  • Noah R.

    With good reason. I have not talked to another young person my age who likes, or has even heard of RLM. Hell, most young people don’t care enough about film as an art form to even have the interest in most of RLM’s content. High school can be quite painful at times…

    I did introduce one friend to RLM, he comments on here occasionally as NoahsNumber1Fan, or something like that. He has been watching RLM content for a couple months now and really enjoys it. It’s funny, at school we will make offhand Plinkett/RLM references and play off of one another. Everybody around us is just bewildered haha

  • Domo

    It was probably the shirt he wore when he found Elves in a South Dakota pawn shop 12+ years ago.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the old Rich, this is the new and improved Rich. Each model is evans better than before.

  • Alex

    That Jay loves wearing his shirts “Kevin Smith” style.

  • Captain Jawsma

    dude, nobody can take Snoke seriously lol

  • Captain Jawsma

    thats because you love me right 😛

  • Captain Jawsma

    you mean they sound pretty stupid-y

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Like the SOS people?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We need someone to reboot it. Someone who took an old internet review show and made it exciting.

  • Domo

    I think you had a typo.

    Shouldn’t it be “Each model is more Evans than before”?

  • Captain Jawsma

    He stole that shirt from a hobo in a dark alley in 1984, I know, because I was that hobo

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Thirty bucks for a t-shirt? Got one word for ya RLM: sweatshop labor. Look it up.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    Was that after Kyle Reese stole your pants?

  • instant relief

    Jahwe! Whaddup, homeboy? I still got a hard on from our last gang bang on cocaine island.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Looks like this kitties been to the sweet shop! Amirite?
    -or-
    Feeding Plinkett

  • Cream-A-Thon

    You sure it wasn’t a dark hole?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Which one? The bland guy from Spartacus or the good one?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The Evans 2’s always were a bit twitchy.

  • Palpatine

    Michael Biehn FTW!

  • Captain Jawsma

    Michael Biehn is good too

  • instant relief

    You mean Michael Has-Biehn. OH SNAP!

  • Captain Jawsma

    no Palpy you can’t have him, I saw him first 😛

  • Palpatine

    Wow, I thought everyone here would be sad now that Pa is gone.

  • Captain Jawsma

    what? aww 🙁 I like Pa

  • instant relief

    Who? What?

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, he and Andrew had an argument in the last videos comment section which ended with Pa doing what you do all the time. Andrew does feel bad though.

  • Captain Jawsma

    be funny? and lovable?

  • Palpatine

    No, he deleted his account.

  • instant relief

    You deletist bastard, I read your book!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I am! I linked this fucking song!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oday_Fc-Gc

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m young too. I turn 41 this fall.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He doesn’t know who Bort Word is.

  • Captain Jawsma

    I was gonna do a song tribute too, but I thought this was going to far
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkK8g6FMEXE

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Bid Laden?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Captain Jawsma

    lol thats good

  • Palpatine

    He dun goofed!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He better get away from the internet, Frank! I’m cutting it down!

  • Palpatine

    Call the cyber police!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Also you forgot to mention that you always find me on the YouTubes especially AlphaOmegaSin videos, you creepy stalker.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    Shit, I got my crazy dads of infamous internet celebrities mixed up!

  • Noah R.

    Speaking of AOS, I just watched his latest video. Boy, that pisses me off!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    For Pa, I salute…

    https://youtu.be/jvKGqNWKhxk

  • Noah R.

    But why he no come back? </3

  • Like Icare

    Don’t forget the COUCH!

    It really ties the video together.

  • Like Icare

    Well… they have to pay for their room and board somehow.
    RLM is not made of money. They run a businesss here.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Mcgregors stage 2.

  • Like Icare

    We’re all heading for a landfill.

    Only now there are people out there wanting to sell us a place in a landfill ON THE MOON!
    Which only sounds like it is not THAT stupid a way to spend money on being dead.
    http://www.cbc.ca/news/trending/elysium-launches-lunar-burials-be-buried-on-the-moon-1.3203427

  • Like Icare

    Red, blue… it’s about the guy with the blaster.

    All rest is just hoaky religions.

  • Like Icare

    The more I see of these NuWars the less it looks and feels like a Star Wars movie.

    Say what you want about the Prequels but at least they weren’t drowning in orange and teal color correction.
    This has all the Star Wars looks of the Hungry Hungry Games franchise.

  • Death Ray

    Wait… what about the MECHS?? Are you guys selling Robot Jox?

  • Captain Jawsma

    yeah well, Mike was wearing a thong the whole time, couldn’t you tell

  • Palpatine

    Well that’s a disturbing image.

  • Like Icare

    How about Rich Evans inside an astromech? There’s that.
    http://i.imgur.com/soB9gr1.gif

  • Captain Jawsma

    gives a new mean to half in the bag though right, I don’t even know what that means

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Please delete that comment and possibly your account for that comment creating a horrifying image.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Heyyyooo!

  • Captain Jawsma

    ”Captain Phasma”
    ”Yes sir, General Hux?”
    ”Phasma I find your name to be stupider than mine!”
    ”Aw, no way sir, you do realize there’s a Po Dameron in this universe right?”
    ”Right you are then, well, as you were”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Your shaming of STAR WARS names is stupid as fuck. And I was in the cast of The Village.

  • Captain Jawsma

    wow, that’s brave dude, not many people would admit to that ;p

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Just stop complaining. Seriously if you’re complaining about names in a movie called Star Wars Episode VII The Force Awakens you should probably stop watching movies.

  • Captain Jawsma

    yeah well, how am I supposed to take over from Statler and Waldorf with that piece of advice.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You seemed to be an expert on nonmedy

  • Marc Basso

    Shirts? Cool! Oh, $30 fucking dollars for a shirt, not including shipping? Uh, no thanks. Jeez, why the fuck would I pay $30 for a shirt these days? Come on you frauds, make it affordable and you might sell 1 or 2.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Ink’s not cheap, kids!”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Pa’s gone? If true, press X to pay respect.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Disqus says the comment must be at least 2 characters.

  • RLMkeepitup

    to be fair they have dozens of hours of free content here and even used to build real sets before green screen became the new cheese. also they have to pay the Canadians before they’ll leave

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’ll wait to see what the Supreme Court says about that.

  • Captain Jawsma

    but we already know what they had to say
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjLr1XhBKVQ

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Fun fact: 1 Canadian dollar equals .76 US dollar.

  • Damn it. I thought this was an update from the astromech droid they built.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    All stuff Canadian lesbians have known since 1980:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFwom4D3i4g

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    All this time I’ve been mispronouncing Mike’s last name without knowing it. Now I am at one with my inner fraud.

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    The world isn’t ready for Fuck-Bot 6000.

  • Captain Jawsma
  • Noah R.

    Just ordered myself one of the last Lightning Fast VCR Repair shirts, I sure hope the XL is plenty large!

  • Captain Jawsma
  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Maybe as Mike talks Jay could pace back and forth, then later they could both sit together on the couch. You know what they say, great artists steal from the best.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    How can you have money if you’re 17 years old-ohhhhh. You’re fat nevermind.

  • Captain Jawsma

    oh god you know what happens when you say his name 3 times in front of the mirror right? the Candyman comes, so whatever you do, don’t hop inside his creepy van.

  • Noah R.

    I’m 6’2″ and nearly 200 lbs… So not too big for a Wookiee 😉

  • Noah R.
  • Jawsky and Hutch

    Plinkett’s face the first time he saw The Phantom Menace.

  • Domo

    His unibrow stays beautiful the whole time!

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I think they want us to feel bad for giving them money, and since most of us feel bad already it’s like therapy.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    The last time I tried that the only person who came was the Veggieman with his horse drawn wagon of healthy foods.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    You know mechs, lightsabers can cut through them like butter.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I thought that was Jaws shtick.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Phlegm + Asthma= Phasma.

  • Wolvy

    Still no RLM logo thong or cockring…

  • Wolvy

    <<< I'm with stupid!

  • Pierce Jawsnan
  • Why didn’t you just torrent it?

    #strangewookie

  • Hank_Henshaw

    There’s the bottle opener which, as suggested, you can stick it up your ass. It’s not exactly what you are looking for, but it’s a start.

  • Noah R.

    #becauseididntwanttotorrentityoucheapoversizedslug

    #<3

  • Noah R.

    If you’re a smaller man you could always use the bottle opener as a ring of sorts!

  • Langley

    I would by a Lightning Fast patch like the guys wear on their shirts. Just saying.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Best of The Worst Pint Glasses – $15*

    *Beer sold separately

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They’re really comfy, though. At least, that’a what I heard… from a source definitely not associated with RedLetterMedia.

  • Domo

    Or tie a bunch of RLM T-shirts together and make a T-shirt boa to topless dance with!

  • Michael J. Jaws

    Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience, economy, savings performance, experience, hospitality, low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms, affordable prices, money back guarantee, fee installation. Fee admission, free appraisal, free alterations, free delivery, free estimates, free home trial and free parking. No cash? no problem. No kidding, no fuss, no muss, no risk, no obligation, no red-tape, no hidden charges, no down payment, no entry fee, no purchase necessary, no one will call on you, no payments or interest til December, and no parking. Limited time only though so act now, order today, send no money, offer good while supplies last, 2 to a customer, each item sold separately, batteries not included, mileage may vary. All sales are final, allow 6 weeks for delivery, some items not available, some assembly required, some restrictions may apply. Shop by mail, order by phone, try it in your home, get one for your car. All entries become our property, employees not eligible, entry fee is not refundable, local restrictions apply, void where prohibited accept in Indiana. So come on in for a free demonstration, and a free consultation, with our friendly professional staff. Our courteous and knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a selection that’s just right for you, and just right for your budget. And say, don’t forget to pick up your free gift, a classic, deluxe, custom, designer, luxury, prestige, high quality, premium, select, gourmet, pocket flashlight. And if you act now we’ll include an extra added free complimentary bonus gift, a classic, deluxe, custom, designer, luxury, leather style wallet, with detachable key chain, and a pencil holder, it’s our way of saying thank you. And if you’re not completely satisfied, you pay nothing, simply returned the unused portion for a full refund, no questions asked, it’s our way of saying thank you, keep your free gift. Actually, it’s our way of saying bend over just a little further, and let us stick this big dick into your asshole, a little bit deeper.

  • JAGUART

    Offering an autographed picture of Rich Evans, and then not being serious, is a cruel joke. You think you’re being funny? One Centimeter. Bullshit.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *fleshlight

  • Red Skeleton

    Fun fact: It’s been just more than 2 year since the Space Cop Teaser Poster debuted.

    http://redlettermedia.com/space-cop-teaser-poster-and-moar-updates/

    I kinda thought there’d be more given the proximity to the release of Space Cop.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3892384/

    Better hurry up guys, only 4 months left in 2015, and you wouldn’t want IMDB to be WRONG about something!

  • Michael J. Jaws

    sounds good, you first 😛

  • TapewormBike

    I dunno, do they sell enough pink frilly ones? Also, my tits might be way too hot to handle.

  • And by business you mean pyramid scheme.

  • TapewormBike

    No Plinkett Cane Dildos? Seriously guys, I am tired of picking up the balls you drop.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s not the first time. He’ll be back.

  • TapewormBike

    I see that you’ve never bought a tour shirt.

  • Michael J. Jaws

    Are Rich and Jay trying out for a Subway commercial, where Rich is the ”before guy” and Jay, in one of Rich’s old shirts, the ”after guy”.

  • TapewormBike
  • Kawaii as Fuck

    THE DEVIL IS MY HAIRDO!

  • Red Skeleton

    Jays not sold enough porn to be the “after guy”.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    This was to be your Life Day present but, I guess, not anymore…

  • marko112kg

    It’s not Merch, it’s Eugust.

  • The Wizard of Jaws
  • liza

    Earn with webworks 566 bucks daily<-ì want to guíde you to amazíng online work opportunity.. 3-5 h of work a day.. payment at the end of each week.. performance dependíng bonuses…earnings of six to nine thousand dollars /month – merely few hours of your free time, a computer, most elementary familiarìty wìth www and trusted web-connection is what is needed…learn more by headìng to my page ->

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  • The Wizard of Jaws

    aw you just posted that in the wrong thread, botched sex change operation support group is next door

  • Like Icare

    Well… at least it’s kinda on topic with Keira Knightley playing a decoy Padme in the prequels…

  • Joe Syxpac

    SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MOM’S MONEY!

  • The Wizard of Jaws
  • tOmy`

    There has been an awakening, have you felt it? Because new KIKI has just been announced.

  • Sully

    Keira, you can get acting work. Why are you doing this?

  • tOmy`

    Performance depending bonuses? That’s what she said!

  • The Wizard of Jaws
  • Sully

    In the biz they call that a “cumshot.”

  • Like Icare

    Not if you fuck it in the lightsaber.
    Or more precisely, if you fuck yourself with Force’s not fully awake lightsaber.
    That is considered “other forms of sexual violence” and does not count as rape.

    CDC says so.
    In their “Rape, rape everywhere, rape, rape be aware! Unless you’re male. Then you can’t get raped cause you ARE the rapist.” study.
    http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/pdf/ss/ss6308.pdf

    Or… you know… their methodology might suck. Again.
    Like that time they did a similar study and found out that USA is actually the Democratic Republic of Congo – only more than 3 times worse.
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/cdc-study-on-sexual-violence-in-the-us-overstates-the-problem/2012/01/25/gIQAHRKPWQ_story.html
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_violence_in_the_Democratic_Republic_of_the_Congo

    Now back to 9/11.
    Hey! It’s just around a corner! What will YOU be wearing for this year’s celebration of 9/11? Write on this webzone to let us know!
    I will be wearing a green shirt, cause I’ll be pretending to be a Low Risk or Terrorist Attack!
    But I won’t be wearing no shoes! L-O-L! Get it?!

  • Like Icare

    No.

    No means “a null”.
    A negative result to a query.

    Q: “How many apples do you have?”
    A: “A null apples.”

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    WHAT A VALUE!

  • Doctor John Smith

    Yay a new video… oh its a merch ad…. Yeah I have like a doctors appointment at my dentist that I just remembered, so I should…..
    *Sound of feet running away.

  • TapewormBike

    (That’s funny, I usually GIVE your mom the money! Wa-heeey)

  • Matthew James (B1trider)

    butt mike and jay my asshole can’t possibly contain all that wonderful merchandise!

  • TapewormBike

    RLM Butthole Tube ‘n’ Lube, included with every purchase.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Mike said “I’m gonna Skull Fuck you.”
    thats how i lost my eye…..

  • instant relief

    How about a Jay’s Bum Fleshlight? Oh, god, I’m so sorry.

  • instant relief

    Indiana Mike and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skullfuck? I’m sorry, my humour is empty.

  • instant relief

    Fuck you and your worthless comments!
    Oh, well, I guess fuck me too then!

  • TapewormBike

    And you can clean it out with pressurized Rich’s fart can!

  • Doctor John Smith

    Graveyard. it was a legit Murder…. i mean car crash.

  • The Wizard of Jaws

    bend over then ;p

  • TapewormBike

    I can watch and jerk off, then!

  • instant relief

    Yes!

  • instant relief

    YES! <3

  • instant relief

    I will stay away from joking any further, because I’m afraid Jay’s banhammer is already dangling on my forehead.

  • Matthew James (B1trider)

    All this talks making me hungry anybody want a cheeseburger?

  • Doctor John Smith

    [Comment Redacted for being far to filthy]

  • TapewormBike

    I like the tingly feeling myself

  • instant relief

    Or maybe it’s his hairy balls. I don’t know. He blindfolded me.

  • TapewormBike

    Gentlemen, all this crude talk of explicitly sexual nature is taking precious time away from the purpose of the video – commerce!

  • instant relief

    Time for another ban! 😀

  • The Wizard of Jaws

    are you suggesting we should pay Mike and Jay for sex

  • TapewormBike

    Aye, good sire, AYE!

  • instant relief

    I thought that’s what their Patreon account was for…

  • TapewormBike

    Good that Omi is as broke as me. I can only wonder what kind of kinky shit is Domo making them do.

  • instant relief

    I wanna watch those perverted vidz now! :<

  • The Wizard of Jaws

    Well she was doing a topless dance before, was quite an eye opening experience (mmm) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMTu86K-IhI

  • TapewormBike

    She was just suggesting, that was me dancing. Sugar.

  • Jaws
  • Balgor Vern

    The sold out ones that are back in stock are sold out. It’s like poetry it rhy- AHH, FUCK ANYBODY WHO THINKS THEY’RE FUNNY FOR REGURGITATING THE SAME OLD SHTICK FROM THREE YEARS AGO OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

  • I’ll give you an upvote for the effort.

  • instant relief

    Why is your leopard deaf?

  • instant relief

    Thanks, man! Appreciate it! Depression levels already dropping. 😉

  • Music time! And no MCR trivia. Who’s excited for my band’s new album?

    No one? Well, fuck you too.

  • instant relief

    You have a band?

  • Yes.

  • Oh God. 6.9 on IMDb.

    #KILLME

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0415191/

  • instant relief

    Is it any good? ;p

  • I’ll let you decide but the answer is yes.

  • instant relief

    Well done, sir! *salutes*

  • instant relief

    I never actually bothered to check that out. Is it any good, frog man?

  • Is it better than Episode I?

  • instant relief

    Where are your tits, when I need to squeeze them, you… you… wonderful individual?

  • I actually have not seen it. Could be good. You can watch Produce Isle on the Redlettermedias youtube channel. Its a combination of puppeteering, slapstick, satire and shlock.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WycbZ2Wav6I

  • YEEES! YEEESSS God yes!!!!!!!!!!!

    *smoking cigarette*

  • Jaws

    (.)(.)

  • instant relief

    That’s pretty cool. Nice video as well!

  • instant relief

    Mostly shlock tho.

  • Jaws

    bardzo dobrze

  • instant relief

    *honk honk honk*

  • instant relief

    Oh, my god! So you’re a polish shark?

  • Awww, Jawsy.

  • Did you just cum?

  • Jaws

    I am rather shiny now you mention it

  • tOmy`
  • tOmy`

    I would, but I don’t like music that much.

    Hey, wanna talk about Jurassic… uhm… World?

  • RLMkeepitup

    Mr. Carlin

  • Jaws

    yeah it sucked but Palpy and Mike liked it because hot red heads, and Dino was in it.

  • Jaws

    the master

  • RLMkeepitup

    not bad. you guys could go places

  • Palpatine

    It should be lower higher.

  • Palpatine

    But mostly hot redheads.

  • Jaws

    is Tourette Syndrome inherited

  • Jaws
  • tOmy`

    Well, if you are like me, you are already sick and tired of temperatures climbing up your ass. But fear not, as the winter is coming.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxJNvnHf3QM

    Warning: You may choke on the sheer amount of balls.

  • RLMkeepitup

    INCEPTION NOISE #fuckoffsummer

  • TapewormBike

    I’d gladly pirate it.

  • tOmy`

    My own personal skying experience comes with inception noise. Usually right after I try to impress some chick on a chairlift and hit ground like an amateur. The WHAAAAAAAM noise is usually the combination of my helmet hitting the powder and damning realization that I am not 16 anymore.

  • TapewormBike

    I am just glad I’m not in school anymore, it used to well depress me, when the weather suddenly turned shit.

  • Jaws

    ”hey man you ok, over”
    ”ah not really, over, im under 30 feet of snow, and i got a ski pole half way up my ass, over”

  • Get more than 379 Bucks Daily<-ì want to guíde you to amazíng online work opportunity.. 3-5 h of work a day.. payment at the end of each week.. performance dependíng bonuses…earnings of six to nine thousand dollars /month – merely few hours of your free time, a computer, most elementary familiarìty wìth www and trusted web-connection is what is needed…learn more by headìng to this page ->

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  • tOmy`

    So I take it you snowboard then, huh?

  • TapewormBike

    I love you!

  • tOmy`

    Typical Czech Republic, a girl starts talking to me and suddenly there is a tapeworm mak-

    Oh… well, that is the first time, I’ll give you that.

  • TapewormBike

    Any affection means we’re gonna get married, right?

  • TapewormBike

    Yeah, you cunt fart.

  • Palpatine

    That’s a lot of money just to do nothing. Where do I sign up?

  • tOmy`

    Really? This is how we used to deal with winter weather and University:

    Send this to the UNI Facebook group and wish everyone happy Wednesday: https://scontent-vie1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/t31.0-8/131706_1495213060425_6510877_o.jpg

  • RLMkeepitup

    I hear ya. I was talked into an ice skating date which was a few hours of me twisting ankle and blistering. By no means did I look cool.

  • TapewormBike

    Uni ain’t no school, fool

  • TapewormBike

    I’m an amateur numerologist and can tell your future from your credit card number and expiration date.

  • tOmy`

    There was this small hill behind my high school that had a small path at its foot. One winter we actually built a small ramp, brought skis to school and jump over the path during the “long break”. It was fun, until school told us to go fuck ourselves, banned it and granted us disciplinary hearing.

    Funnily enough, grabbing a bear / smoking during the long break was absolutely okay.

  • TapewormBike

    I did look cool skying in highschool. Of course, that was after all the girls saw me being the only one not able to do it for the first few days.

  • tOmy`

    I was quite lucky – my grandparents pushed mi into skying quite early, then I went to skiing school, every year with my parents’s friends to mountains for a week. I think around 16 – 18, I was pretty fucking badass fearless teenager and then I had a very bad crash. After that, I was a bit scared and missed on that whole “pushing it” aspect. I bought freestyle skis few years ago, but while I can still follow the classic “smoke a joint and ride it like you stole it” routine, I am too scared to learn some new trickjumps etc. For shame.

  • TapewormBike

    It would seem to an innocent bystander that a spambot with a picture of a pretty lady attracts quite a lot of “ironic” attention….

  • Jaws

    hey man who you callin spambot 😛

  • TapewormBike

    That’s why we can never actually hang out, I’d kill you by being incredibly boring. Or with a shovel.

  • TapewormBike

    Wanna “do” it? lol

  • tOmy`

    Well, truth is, that skying is the only sport I am not atrocious at, so I tend to compensate a bit by trying to be uber cool on skis. Then usually the inception noise comes.

    However, I thought the reason for not hanging out was the cultural-barrier standing somewhere along 100th km of D1.

  • TapewormBike

    I can’t believe you are still a prick about that, even though I actually come from a place east from you. Harumph.

  • Jaws

    ah, so that’s why they call you Buffalo Bill.

  • tOmy`

    Brno never forgets, Brno never forgives. But hey, I know a girl from Slovakia that spent 2 years studying in Prague and now she is gonna live here. That is pretty much the most dangerous combo to be ever attempted.

  • TapewormBike

    Joj

  • tOmy`

    Their coms are usually more like this: https://youtu.be/0UcTLXlv94s?t=1m54s

  • Who knows, maybe it’ll be out before Space Cop. We’ve recorded pretty much everything, well apart from one ‘last minute’ song we decided to add to the album. It’s being mixed and mastered as we speak, hopefully we’ll be able to get a publisher.

  • My friends were all in Prague last week. I’m poor so I couldn’t come. 😐

  • Jaws
  • TapewormBike

    That’s OK, Tom hates the very idea of it.

  • That’s because he likes buffalo wings, it. Now, it puts the lotion in the basket.

  • Well, Kiera had a better offer. It was more than 599 or something.

  • tOmy`

    So there is a list of 20 toughest job interview questions of this year. I think we are pretty much covered, fellas:

    “Is batman a super hero?” –AlphaSights
    “What was your opinion of the film Blair Witch Project?” – Jefferies & Company
    “Who would win in a fight between Spiderman and Batman?” – Stanford University (‘murica, FUCK YEAH, gonna educate their leaaaaaders)
    “What’s your favorite Disney Princess?” – Cold Stone Creamery

  • tOmy`

    Kiera is a dirty liar and, from what I heard at the locker room, a bit of a slut.

  • Jaws

    no he has no super powers
    haven’t seen it yet
    Tobey Maguire Vs Ben Affleck, well Affleck prob has reach and well, anybody could beat up Tobey Maguire
    Cinderella, duh

  • TapewormBike

    “What’s your favorite Disney Princess?”

    “Jasmine, I’d love to fuck her in her pooper. Can I sell ice cream to kids, now?”

  • tOmy`

    “Alright, but stay away from the chocolate one.”

  • Palpatine

    No.
    Haven’t seen it.
    Batman.
    Ariel.

  • She also kissed Orlando Bloom and gave him cooties!

  • tOmy`

    I thought you already have a steady job and earnings of six to nine thousand dollars a month…

    Or was Olivia lying as well?

  • Palpatine

    Olivia is a lying bitch.

  • Palpatine

    I said Ariel because she’s a hot redhead. And if they ever make a live action Little Metmaid remake, I’m pretty sure Bryce Dallas Howard will play her.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    My favorite line in But I’m a Cheerleader is when one of the kids, when asked why he was gay, just plain out says, “I like balls.”.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    What about debit cards? Mine’s a Virgo.

  • Jaws

    Does anybody like Owen Wilson and or Vince Vaughn? no? nobody?… yeah, me either.

  • tOmy`

    We don’t do debit cards.

    #AreYouComingYet?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    What would RLM’s sex site be named? Ashley Happy Madison?

  • TapewormBike

    I am OK with Wilson in Wes Anderson movies.

  • Jaws

    yeah if that’s the one where he’s a tennis player, wasn’t too bad

  • Palpatine

    Vaughn sucks in everything he’s in.

  • Jaws

    Especially Jurassic Park movies.

  • Palpatine

    His performance in that movie wasn’t that bad. Now the Psycho remake on the other hand.

  • Jaws

    wasn’t that good either. haha Psycho, epic fail.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yes, but more of a super hoagie.
    Tolerable (with the exception of Trollhunter I’m not a particular fan of found footage films)
    Birdman, because the power of the Sun is absolute.
    Hannah Montana, duh.

  • I prefer “moneyshots”, thank you.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Damnit Palpy, you said it so now they HAVE to make a live-action movie of The Little Mermaid. Written and directed by Elaine May.

  • She’s not… uh.. built like Ariel, though. How old was Ariel in LIttle Mermaid, anyway?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    But does know that love was meant for beauty queens.

  • *it is a rainy dark evening*
    *your walking along a street*
    *you pause to light a cigarette under a lamp post*
    *a dark figure walks past you, turns and looks up*
    -Tell me Olivia, do you bleed?
    *thunder roars*

  • I hate to be that guy Boss, but:
    *you’re

  • You really love that laugh.

  • It makes me happy.

  • instant relief

    I thought that Google movie was passable, but I already forgot all about it even tho I saw it like 2 weeks ago.

  • instant relief

    He was also great in Darjeeling Limited and Grand Budapest Hotel.

  • Jaws

    dude, you’re brave, I couldn’t subject myself to that, must’ve been better than the trailer made it out to be then

  • instant relief

    16

  • Jaws

    yeah they are meant to be good, I haven’t seen those yet

  • instant relief

    Jaw(s) dropped. You’re missing out, tit haver.

  • instant relief

    Twas just a generic by the numbers comedy, not too offensive and they went to a strip club.

  • Then it got offensive.

  • Kirke

    He was good in Zoolander.

  • instant relief

    Not really, it’s PG-13.

  • Jaws

    He was grate in Marley and Me

  • Bubs

    I liked Vince Vaughn in Swingers. Owen Wilson would be really good if he was… someone else. But mostly, I just wish they had hung out with Paul Walker more…. maybe he would’ve taken them for a drive.

  • Jaws

    ”you motorboatin son of a bitch” the only thing that was half decent, well that and the hot little red head in that movie, but the movie overall… meh

  • Jaws

    and honestly Ben Stiller sucks too :p

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fuck you.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I was thinking about taking the lyrics to Flash by Queen and replacing them with Rich Evans.

  • Robotpals

    There is one item of RedLetterMedia merch that I would totally buy that you guys should consider selling: a movie called Space Cop.

  • Jaws

    now there’s a good movie

  • Palpatine

    Rich! Ah! Savior of the Universe!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Just a man with a man’s courage. You know he’s nothing but a man and he can never fail. No one but the pure at heart may find the Golden Grail…Oh..Oh……..Oh..Oh….

  • Like Icare

    I have a repulsion towards the entire Stiller family. And it is completely nonobjective and irrational.

    For years when I’d see George Costanza’s father or Paul Blarp the Delivery Guy’s father in law I’d get this really strange feeling of annoyance. Like maybe I’d should punch the TV.
    The same feeling I’d feel when I’d see Ben Stiller in anything.
    Couldn’t really bother why, I just assumed it’s cause I find their “comedy” stupid – which I do, but it is besides the point.

    Then one day I stumble on “Chump Change” on TV.
    And when Milwaukee Steve meets his ex-girlfriend back in Milwaukee I felt that same urge.

    So I look it up (well… I TRY to look it up cause I don’t at first know the name of the movie as I’ve tuned in after it already started) and I find out that the girl I want to punch in the face (though I can barely see it, and she’s in the movie for a very short but annoying time) is Amy Stiller, daughter of Jerry Stiller who is also in that movie, AND she is the sister of Ben Burn in HELL YOU FUCK Stiller, son of Jerry Stiller.

    Oh… OH!
    They have the same annoying mannerisms, same “aren’t I funny” demeanor, genetics is there too…

    But I can’t say that it is a single thing or some objective trait they all have – I just can’t stand them on a deeply irrational, reptile-brain, level.
    I have a similar thing for the Deschanel sisters and Katy Perry.
    They make me feel uncomfortable and not in a good way.

    I USED to have that for Rachel Weisz too.
    Then one day I suddenly don’t. How? Why? I don’t know.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jaws you hate more things than Pa.

  • Jaws

    I got bigger boobs too 😛

  • Like Icare

    The answer is “Yes.”

    Cause while you MAY have a thing for cartoon characters at least you are into ADULT cartoon characters.
    Now, if you had a thing for Maggie Simpson…

    http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111215021127/bigbellydb/images/2/29/23×9-maggiepregnant1.png

  • How do you know?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes
    Good movie, not great.
    Yes
    Elizabeth from BioShock Infinite

  • Like Icare

    Yes, but only if one of you two first gets spit or some other bodily fluid on the other.

    And no, homeopathy or peeing in a pool or river does not count.

  • Earth

    The best I’ve done so far was being able to say in context, “you might as well have shown him where the pinball machine was”.

    It was also fun explaining to my grandmother what “Half in the Bag” was after she saw my T Shirt.

  • TapewormBike

    The dog was the only good thing about that movie.

  • Jaws

    aw that’s a mean thing to say about Jennifer Aniston

  • Earth

    Still no RedLetterMedia hairplugs or fleshlights.

    UNSUBSCRIBE.

  • TapewormBike

    I wouldn’t cry if she died. To lighten up the mood.

  • TapewormBike

    Hair?

  • Like Icare

    On a Richter scale?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Earth

    Don’t worry, Ommie’ll make that reference soo-

    Oh…

  • TapewormBike

    Don’t even

  • Like Icare
  • Earth

    I feel bad now. I’ll go get that pizza roll Plinkett sent me and shove it up my ass.

  • Now I know how people react when they see little spiders hatch from inside a bigger spider they just killed.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Plinkett’s hairplugs will do that to you.

  • Palpatine

    Rich Evans could sure use those.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Excuse me, PalpBo, but Rich is the internet’s Fabio.

    http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1036469/images/o-FABIO-BIRTHDAY-facebook.jpg

  • Can somebody please photoshop Rich onto this cover?

  • Palpatine

    Sorry, but that would be Jay.

    #TeamJay

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jay is the internet’s George Clooney

  • Palpatine

    Is that a good thing?

  • Jaws

    not really ;p

  • Jaws

    no way bro Mike is my teddy bear

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes it is.

  • Palpatine

    Hey, come on now, Jay is my favorite RLM member!

  • Jaws

    but George Clooney? ER was good, but… no

  • Palpatine

    I’m sure he’s hairy enough to be one.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Are we really arguing about who is RLM’s Fabio?

  • TapewormBike

    No sense doing that. It’s Jessi.

  • Palpatine

    Yes. And it’s Jay!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    IT IS RICH!

  • Jaws

    nope and no, it’s Mike!

  • Jaws
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jay vs Rich: Battle for Fabio

  • Palpatine

    Wow, and I thought the personality cult surrounding the Supreme Leaders of North Korea was crazy.

  • Palpatine

    Jay!

  • Jaws

    Mike ;p

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Begun the Fabio War has

  • Is this the beginning of the Great Fabio Wars of 2015?

  • Palpatine

    Can we end it now?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Fabio was The Precious? Checks out.

  • Domo

    This commentzone has gone to some weird places all in the span of a few hours.

    Please, show me more!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Order 66, baby.

  • TapewormBike
  • Cream-A-Thon
  • Palpatine

    I just don’t want this to turn into one of those comment threads. You know, those.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Fabio Wars have begun.

  • Like Icare

    Flabio?

  • Palpatine

    Fine, Rich is Fabio. The end.

  • TapewormBike

    I can very easily imagine him being hit in the face by a bird.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No Jay is.

  • TapewormBike

    This is cheap, but my gf is seriously down physically, any words of encouragement from strangers?

  • Ratman

    Buy her a Half in the Bag bottle opener.
    .
    And stick it up her ass. Then open a bottle.

  • OH! I have a joke.

    What happens if we feed ‘jaws’ (the commenter her on RLM) after midnight?

    -Nothing, he has already deleted himself.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4eEJPZy9sc&feature=youtu.be&t=1m2s

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Buy her a novel with Fabio on it

  • TapewormBike

    JayFabio or RichFabio?

  • Domo

    Polar Otter is asking where it hurts, then hit her really hard someplace else so she won’t remember the pain from her original source!

  • TapewormBike

    Lower back (no, not where baby got one) and since the pain shoots all over, I am outta luck.

  • Domo

    Does she have sciatica? That’s what Rich Evans was suffering with for a little while.

    You can tell her God knows her pain.

  • Get her a comfortable treestand and of course the Treestand safety video. Otherwise try painkillers.

  • RLMkeepitup
  • YES THIS.

  • TapewormBike

    I don’t really have vocabulary for it, but it’s basically spinal missalingment, where certain things stick out into things they should not be sticking out in. God is being called way too often here. Asleep now, I was gonna tell her how caring the weirdos I hang out with are. Well, I can still say it.

  • Aw man. That is painful. Tell her that the Gungins are on the case.

  • TapewormBike

    I’ll try to salivate as much saying it, too.

  • Domo

    I think it’s time to get her favorite ice cream in a 1 gallon tub variety, get all those sappy movies she loves, and go on a marathon movie watching spree.

    You could also teach her some english like she’s always wanted, like curse words and such! If she ever wanted to learn some Lithuanian, Pyktis (Fuck) is fun to yell aloud.

  • Spice it up as much as you can

    #STAT

  • TapewormBike

    “Pyktis” is a way too fancy word to mean “fuck”. I just hope she can get some rest.

  • Domo

    If all else fails, horse tranquilizer is a great sleeping aide.

  • TapewormBike

    Come on, Domo, she’s sick, I’m not gonna waste my party supplies on that.

  • Domo

    What about that stuff Michael Jackson used to fall asleep with?

    I think with our help, we can get the dosage just right. No need for doctors!

  • TapewormBike

    I thought Michael Jackson used to make people fall asleep…

  • instant relief

    So, what about the telescope dedication?

  • Domo

    Children aren’t people, Tape. So your statement is invalid!

    I’m off for a bit. Hope she feels better!

  • Palpatine

    Mike’s laugh is too much.

  • TapewormBike

    Thanks, see you, Mrs. Otter.

  • instant relief
  • Alright. I’ll look into it.

  • Palpatine

    Who’s Polar Otter?

  • TapewormBike

    Good luck topping the latest one.

  • TapewormBike

    Domo’s husband.

  • In a good way or a bad way?

  • instant relief

    Which one? I’m not as deeply involved in the FHRITP scene as you are.

  • Palpatine

    She’s married to an otter that lives in a polar region?

  • TapewormBike

    It was a too soon joke. Best not mentioning it at all.

  • Palpatine

    Good way because you never hear him laugh.

  • TapewormBike

    Otter is a way to describe a slim, yet hairy gay man (as opposed to bear). Apparently he did work in polar areas. We worked it out between me, Domo and Omi.

  • instant relief

    Do you fear Jay’s banhammer or sex deprivation?

  • instant relief

    Someone has to know, Aquaman!

  • TapewormBike

    I fear not being funny. You might have noticed I am a very brave person.

  • instant relief

    I’m the unfunniest person on this web comment commenting system for commenting comments. So, no fear my dear and get on with it! 😛

  • Its too loud for any human being to bear. I think my favorite Mike laugh moment is when the mirror explodes in the Death Spa BotW episode.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I know – younglings.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jan Hammer? What?

  • TapewormBike

    Great, now I’ll have Crockett’s Theme stuck in my head for days.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    That is precisely what I am listening to right now. Get out of my head, Ron Howard!

  • Brack to the Future

    Barf like you’ve never barfed before
    Let your feverish sweat fly
    Be fatigued
    Be served
    Sleep and get well soon

  • Brack to the Future

    We get a Schmendrick. Gremlins went extinct in the great Zach Purge of 1987.

  • Brack to the Future

    One time when I was a kid I baked 192 cookies from scratch. I put them in 3-pack baggies, dressed in my scruffiest shorts, and with skinny, dirty legs got out of my mother’s car in the middle of Ottawa. Our family of five ate like kings for a week and I was only nine!

  • KHAAAN!!!

    The Mike, The.

  • Like Icare

    Discus hernia?

    Short term, lying down to lower the pressure on the back, painkillers and anti-inflammatory drugs.
    http://www.wikihow.com/Sleep-With-Lower-Back-Pain
    Should it persist – go see a doctor. Operation may be necessary.

    Paracetamol and ibuprofen are anti-inflammatory, antipyretic (reduce fever and high body temperature) and also mild pain-killers.
    Both are over the counter and cheap but one must still pay attention and read instructions.

    E.g. I sometime have a mild (relatively) headache when taking ibuprofen. It is a known effect but you can’t know that you have it until you try it.

    Paracetamol on the other hand is often the main ingredient of over-the-counter cold/flu remedies… but it has a relatively low toxicity dose – around 200mg/kg of body weight.
    I.e. Taking 20 or more 500 mg tablets can be deadly for a grown human.
    And not in a “Romeo, you shit, you drank all the poison” romantic sleepy death – Paracetamol overdose kills one’s liver and person then proceeds to die in terrible pain for next 3-4 days.

    Both Paracetamol and Ibuprofen can be heard on the stomach.
    And it is not a bad idea to also take B-complex vitamin B tablets with them as vitamin B is an anti-toxicant which helps one’s liver to deal with substances that it is trying to clear out of the organism.
    Great for taking the edge off the hangover for exactly that reason.

    On the other hand… Grapefruit slows down the enzymes in the liver which break down drugs and medicines.
    No biggie if you want your drugs to work longer and stronger (think Fear and Loathing and that grapefruit in Johnny Depp’s bag) – might be an issue if you want your liver to do its job and pump the shit out and not to have an overdose.

    This one time… I had homemade grapefruit juice for two days in a row… It permeated my bowels and gotten into my liver…
    Then it’s 30+ hours from my last coffee and I still can’t sleep.
    Practically turned off my body’s ability to break down caffeine.

    Long term back problems…

    If there is no need for operation…
    Which is NOT fun and is a bitch to recoup from cause you can’t do shit but lay in bed until your spine heals after they cut in and patch you up and put in the screws – AND THEN IT HURTS EVEN MORE until it heals.

    If there’s no need for operation… Weight loss, stretching exercises and exercise that strengthen one’s back muscles (swimming is great) help A LOT and can even lead to almost full recovery.
    Stuff like this:
    http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Backpain/Pages/low-back-pain-exercises.aspx
    http://imgur.com/gallery/MjpWbhB

    And you have to lose weight and get physical even if you get an operation.
    And pain will return if you get lot of weight back on and stop doing exercises regularly.

    Friend of mine got an inflamed slipped disc while on the plane to Afghanistan to start working there as a civilian contractor.
    Not only did he end up without the job, he had to pay back the ticket home, then have the operation (it turned out to be worse than originally thought as he had let it linger and just went around on painkillers) and spend weeks in bed and then lose some 20 kilos (he’s a big guy) to relieve the spine of some of the pressure.

    Bonus points that he was so liberal with pain killers (and he used opioids) that he was already using double to triple dose that hospitals prescribe for post-operative pain just to deal with his everyday pain.
    So he ended up with his spine cut up AND with a three times lower pain-killer dose.
    Imagine THAT fun.

    As a more positive story…
    I had similar problems resulting from an injury.
    Fell asleep during a long bus ride, slid down the seat, driver hit the breaks suddenly…

    At the time it just woke me up cause my entire, completely limp, upper body swung upward and forward. No biggie…
    Go back to sleep. Haul heavy bags all the way home like a champ. It’s probably just a cramp from all that sitting. I just need a good night’s sleep…
    Couple of days later I can’t sit or lie on my back due to pain.

    After it subsided, it took me months of exercise at least 3 times per week (stretching, strength for back muscles, cardio for weight) to get it to the point where there is no pain for days, then over a year to get it where there is mostly never no pain.

    Now it mostly just “feels” different…
    But if I start putting on weight or cut down to exercising once a week (funny how those things tend to coincide)… it starts hurting again.
    Not a lot… but it is there.

    Then again I also have a fucked up ankle on that side, since high school, so I don’t walk quite evenly with both my feet, which goes back to my spine taking the burden of that difference.

  • Percy Gryce

    You are correct: the Stoklasa chuckle is so rare that we were tracking its infrequent appearances here for a while.

  • Percy Gryce

    Tell her she needs to get well soon because you’re getting more emotional connection from a bunch of fake internet friends than from her.

  • TapewormBike

    That’s it. I am trying to make her go easy on the Ibuprofen

  • Palpatine

    The Rich, The.

  • Percy Gryce

    Too soon.

  • TapewormBike

    She’d love hearing that.

  • Percy Gryce

    Your Orientalism is showing. Hey, check your Czech privilege!

  • Earth

    Goddammit. One day late to watching this video and the Lightning Fast VCR Repair T shirts have already sold out.

    Now how can I pretend to be cool enough to be part of Lightning Fast VCR Repair?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Jay, The.

  • RLMkeepitup

    clearly you have to be just a bit faster. please work on your speed skillz and report back when you can fix a vhs tape in under 3 weeks using basic tools

  • Palpatine

    Already? Geez, how many shirts do they have in stock, 20?

  • Percy Gryce

    They’re out of Lightning Fast t-shirts already–not that I would have ordered one, mind. Do you honestly think @percygryce2:disqus wears undergarments in public?

    But I did buy an RLM coffee mug. I guess I won’t be too embarrassed to sip my Earl Grey tea, hot, from that.

  • Percy Gryce

    Happy to help.

  • Earth

    3 weeks? What is this, a legitimate business?

  • Like Icare

    Ibuprofen ain’t that big of a problem as the nasty effects start way before it becomes toxic.
    Just pay attention to the dose prescribed in the instructions, based on age and body weight.
    Munching on them like they are tic-tacs won’t really help much anyway.

    They are mild analgesics and main benefit is from their anti-inflamatory effect – they reduce the swelling which is causing the pressure which causes pain.
    Besides that, recommended daily dose for adults is no more than 8 tablets of 400 mg each. I.e. 3200 mg per day.
    Which is about half of dose for a 64 kg adult at which toxic effects might start showing up.

    If it lasts more than a few days… she should go and see a doctor.
    That lower back area is tricky… it can be the case that the pain is actually musclepain (plenty of those there: http://www.unsuckbart.com/shoulder-muscles/shoulder-muscles-2/ ) or kidneys as they are all patching in really close to the central nervous system there.
    And it can be the case of more than one issue at the same time or simply a misdiagnosis on our part as we THINK that it’s A but it is actually B or C or both or…

    In any case, she should see a doctor about that.

  • RLMkeepitup

    its just the training phase. after that you’re allowed to take up to 3 years.

  • Like Icare
  • Domo
  • Witty Moniker

    You’ve finally done it, Red Letter Media, you made me look forward to watching an advertisement. I can’t help but think that’s what you wanted. Damn you all to hell.

  • Bubs

    Mine is definitely when he loses it during Resident Evil (4? 5? fuck?) Of course, he’s already wasted in that one. But it counts.

  • Noah R.

    For the one time only price of 100$ I’ll ship mine to you Percy!

  • Noah R.

    *puts hand up to screen

    High five!

  • Earth

    If only all adverts were like this.

  • Earth

    Die Bart, Die.

  • instant relief

    What a value!

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    The Wonder Twins already activated, form of water and everything. I’m not needed here, said Aquaman.

  • instant relief

    Will probably be better than the prequels.

  • instant relief

    Nerd!

  • instant relief

    Ja, let the german angst flow through you.

  • instant relief

    At least RLM’s ads are as shitty as their products.

  • instant relief

    Wonder twins? Are talking about breasts?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Let’s!

  • HeftyJo

    Alternating hot and cold therapy treatments. 20-30 minutes with hot water bottle. Then, hit it for 20-30 minutes with an ice pack. The heat increases blood flow to the injured area and loosens up tight muscle spasms; the cold will reduce inflammation and dull the pain. If you don’t have a water bottle you can soak a hand towel in water and then stick it into a ziplock bag. Then microwave it a minute and a half to two minutes (don’t fully seal the bag). You’ll need to handle it was a another hand towel because it will be quite hot. Or, fill the bath up with hot water and pour in about 1-2 cups of epsom salt and take a good long soak.

  • Noah R.

    But wait, there’s more!

  • Percy Gryce

    I actually checked eBay to see if scalpers were selling them there. There are quite a few “Lightning Fast” t-shirts, but none about VCR repair.

  • Palpatine

    Then just take some magic marker and write it on there you lazy fuck!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    What about it?

  • Jay Stein

    Susan?

  • Like Icare

    Wrong address. You’re looking for a guy one comment upward. 🙂

    Anyway… Hot/cold pads (hot definitely) will work if the source of the pain is inflammation or injury of the muscles.
    If it’s a herniated disk… resulting in a pinched nerve… cold may not be recommendable and at best it won’t work as the issue is inside the spinal column.

    I.e. That big bony structure that all the nerves plug into and through which all the information goes from the body to the brain, protected from outside influences so a cold night or hot day doesn’t result in the nerves that connect to organs at that particular junction going “crazy” – resulting in everything from loss of bowel control to heart attacks.

    Heat at worst won’t do anything either, BUT it will increase blood flow in the area.

    I.e. It allows more of that liquid filled with our body’s own pain killers and cells that are there to deal with injuries to get to the location of the injury.

    Again… In any case she should see a doctor about it.

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    SHE’S TEARING HIM APART!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s the plot to The Room

  • RLMkeepitup

    That’s fucking hilarious. I’ve always found relationship advise columns in newspapers to be a waste of time but that’s an amazing case in point.

  • Palpatine

    That’s right Susan!

  • Thanatos2k

    Oh shit, the Lightning Fast shirt.

    Edit: Sold out? The fuck!?

  • Thanatos2k

    The reply should have been: “How’s your sex life?”

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, you could say it sold out “lightning fast”.

  • Thanatos2k

    Shows they completely underestimated the demand of this market, and should have made the shirt a year ago!

  • Thanatos2k

    I think it’s secretly contempt for themselves. From what I see on Best of the Worst and such, they use these products all the time!

  • Thanatos2k

    That poster proudly hangs on my wall.

    In the corner, where no one really looks at it.

  • Thanatos2k

    No, it was supposed to be poetry, it rhymed.

  • Thanatos2k

    Where do you think Chunky’s “Chicken” comes from?

  • Palpatine

    Ha ha ha ha, what a story Ask Amy!

  • Noah R.

    Speaking of Ebay, when am I gonna be able to buy a bunch of RLM signed shit from them?

  • Noah R.

    This is what I watch YouTube for- lol

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCYrzzG5tag

  • Jaws
  • Jaws

    Mike

    Who’s the black private dick

    That’s a sex machine to all the chicks?

    (Mike!)

    You’re damn right

    Who is the man

    That would risk his neck for his brother man?

    (Mike!)

    Can ya dig it?

    Who’s the cat that won’t cop out

    When there’s danger all about

    (Mike!)

    Right on

    You see this cat Mike is a bad mother

    (Shut your mouth)

    But I’m talkin’ about Mike

    (Then we can dig it)

    He’s a complicated man

    But no one understands him but his woman

    (Mike, Mike)

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Hack frauds.

  • Percy Gryce

    Oh, with their Patreon millions the RLM auction days may well be over.

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • Jay Stein

    I don’t think they had any in the first place

  • hamsterfist

    My comment in the merch store was “Lightning Fast shirts sold out lightning fast. You hack frauds! Anticipate demand.”

    No shit, before I even read these comments. Somehow I managed to be as unoriginal as possible and sum up every single comment. Weird……

    I think I need to go outside more.

  • GOOGLE PAYING $99/HOUR WORK

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  • Noah R.

    *begins crying

  • Noah R.

    Just got done watching Her…. I just don’t even know what to think about this film. It was so strange!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s amazing is what it is.

  • Jaws

    For a couple of reasons, Scarlett Johansson’s better film was Under the Skin

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • KEEP POURING

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I was in that you know.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Like little to no dialogue and haunting visuals?

  • Noah R.

    Well, I was intrigued by a movie about a man falling in love with an operating system… I’d say your performance was pretty good 😉

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh thank you. That mustache was real by the way. The thing is with “strange films” is that the “strange” aspect isn’t strange when you think about it. I had the exact same reaction to Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind and now it’s one of my favorite movies ever.

  • Jaws

    Ironic how Scarlett Johansson also had a mustache in that other movie, and that looked pretty real too

  • Wizard Phoenix

    ….what the fuck are you talking about? Serious, what are you talking about?

  • Noah R.

    The whole premise is so odd, yet so plausible. We may not be far from that sort of A.I- kind of frightening if you ask me.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jay Bauman-I mean Spike Jonze knows how to make a believable world the audience could see plausible. For example the fashion in the future of Her is actually happening how, except for the high waist pants.

  • Noah R.

    Yes, towards the end of the movie I realized that I had seen more high pants in that 2 hours than I had seen in the last year.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Lucky for you, kid, you weren’t in the age of mom jeans…I was.

  • Noah R.

    I’m so sorry.

  • Red Skeleton

    Don’t TOUCH me motherfucker!

  • instant relief

    Dirty Sanchez alarm! Everybody clear the building!

  • instant relief

    If you call a fat woman walking in slow-motion haunting, then yes.

  • instant relief

    A little obessive.

  • That joke/reference! Oh it’s next gen. *slide whistle*

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well you’ve seen Undefeatable. You know what it’s like.

  • Jaws

    (Y)

  • Kirke

    Fucking meta, dude.

  • instant relief

    Or maybe you need to leave those poor hamsters alone. Not cool, BRAH.

  • instant relief

    I wanna put my Johansson in Her.

  • Dr. Shazbot

    Man, that shirt is enormous.

  • Jaws
  • Jaws

    *cock

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ohhhh. Don Jon!

  • instant relief
  • Perhaps, but her advice not to get married is sound.

  • Stantz

    Lightning Fast t-shirts sold out already???

  • Everyone wants to pretend they work for frauds. And the biggest fraud was the shirts costed 30 dollars.

  • Jaws

    yup, and I’m wearing one now, and that’s ALL I’m wearing ;p

  • Like Icare

    We are VERY far from such an A.I. or any A.I that isn’t just a LOT of processing power and a HUGE database either built for a VERY specific task or deliberately jury-rigged to appear like it is anything more than a list of commands and if-then conditions, i.e. a program.

    What we are NOT far from is people imagining the A.I., soul, life, spirit, personality behind such basic things as two dots and a squiggly line.
    Remember tamagotchi? L-O-L I DO!

    But it doesn’t have to be anything THAT deliberately “creature-like”.
    We have a tendency to either prostrate ourselves before random noise and start praying…
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perceptions_of_religious_imagery_in_natural_phenomena

    Or try to guess the future by staring at random noise…
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tasseography

    Or trying to guess gayness by having people stare at random noise…
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rorschach_test#Illusory_and_invisible_correlations

    The last two are actually more reading-in personal beliefs and ideas into other people’s perceptions of random noise.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    If they had 500 then I suppose then they made themselves $15,000. Imagine what they might’ve done with $30,000 in the bank from simple cotton shirts touching mens skins so closely, softly…

  • Like Icare

    They only made one of each size.
    Those are artisinal shirts hand made by African children of Kombucha.

    They’ve decided to take those steps and limit the number of shirts and inflate the price through injection of manual labor and quality into the calculation and thus increasing the !VALUE! cause ink ain’t cheap. They’re runnin a businenssss.

  • Like Icare

    Why would they want to put shirts in a bank?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Shirts are currency in their reality. I know, its messed up.

  • Earth

    The fucking bagpipes are better than the prequels.

    I know that goes against Plinkett’s opinion (which is, of course, right) but seriously I’ll take bagpipes over watching any of those movies any day.

  • Like Icare

    They literally pay for things with shirts off their backs.

  • Earth

    Bear Hugs: How to be Prepared sounds awfully similar to GMP Picture’s Battle Man vs. Satan video.

  • Like Icare

    It’s an investment.
    The value of those shirts will go through the roof once SpaceCop wins the Nobel Oscars OF SPACE!!!

    Or should a mentally unstable individual with an automatic weapon finds their location through Google maps and ambush them there during the production of the next Plinkett review.
    Then after a long stand-off with the police and several requests for pizza rolls, decides to rush the barricade dressed only in a size M “Lightning Fast” T-shirt.
    It is an American tradition to rush at people with guns while dressed only in special shirts “imbued with spiritual powers” believing that they can stop bullets.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_shirt

    Too soon?

  • Yes. These sell outs sold out their entire Lightning Fast VCR repair t-shirts. They should increase the amount of t-shirt fast as lightning before they have to repair the damage they have done by having an insufficient stock. Otherwise they should change the name Red Letter Media to Vast Capital Robbery.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Does it not take two to perpetrate the behavior?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jaws be jivin’ like Matthew Broderick be drivin’.

  • Jaws
  • Cream-A-Thon
  • Jaws

    nice, he does sound like Hetfield

  • Jaws

    the movie sucked also

  • Doctor John Smith

    No
    Yes
    Both
    The slutty one.

  • Doctor John Smith

    i can see snow on the mountains from here and its been raining for nearly a week. you would have loved it.

  • instant relief

    Good thing I learned typing with one hand long ago.

  • tOmy`

    @dollarstorecashierwife:disqus Dude, what TV show are we gonna rip apart now? Shall we dig into the Fear The Walking Dead? Even the name suggest this is gonna be a good material.

  • Brack to the Future

    I ask that of my wifely unit. After 18 years she still thinks it’s unfunny.

  • Brack to the Future

    I’m thinking of setting up a mobile office at a camping spot of Burning Man. I’ll offer WiFi, business services and non-stop streaming of Plinkett Reviews. Look for the guy with the white carnation.

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  • Palpatine

    Are you the same Betty from The Osteoporosis Dance?

  • Brack to the Future

    You see? I was about 45 seconds ahead, but I predicted that poast. See my WiFi one.

    There’s an easy way to predict and prevent these smap things. Also it’s better to not respond to them. They RSS and get paid when you do.

  • She’s dead, Sheev.

  • Palpatine

    She tripped over a fake potted plant.

  • I hate to address the elephant in the room but all you needed to say is ‘look for the guy with an unusually large forehead’.

  • She should have invested in Life Call. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQlpDiXPZHQ

  • Palpatine

    The spokeswoman looks like an actress in old woman makeup.

  • tOmy`

    Hey, Betty, word of advice:

    Contact Olivia, she has a better job and makes more money than you. Just tell her that Palpy sent you, she will know.

    Have a nice one!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    have you watched Homeland? You could catch up right in time before season 5 airs next month and see it’s rise and fall…and then unexpected rise again.

  • Jaws

    Let’s say a water main breaks in downtown Los Angeles and it floods an electrical substation, knocking out all the traffic lights, tying up the entire city, and emergency vehicles can’t get through, and at the same time one of those month long global warming heat waves comes along, but there’s no air conditioning, there’s no water for sanitation, so cholera, smallpox and dysentery break out and thousands of people start dying in the streets, but before they die, parasites eat their brains, and they go completely fucking crazy, and they storm the hospitals, and the hospitals can’t handle all the casualties, so these people rape all the nurses and set the hospital on fire, and the flames drive them even crazier, so they start stabbing social workers and garbage men, and a big wind comes along and the entire city goes up in flames, and the people who are still healthy, they get mad at the sick people, so they start crucifying them, nailing them to crosses, trying on their underwear, shit like that. Then everybody smokes crack and PCP, and they march on City Hall, where they burn the mayor at the stake, strangle his wife, and take turns sodomizing the statue of Larry Flint. And at this point, it looks like pretty soon, things are gonna start to get out of control. So everybody panics and tries to leave the city at the same time, and they trample each other to death in the streets by the thousands, and wild dogs eat their corpses, and the wild dogs chase the rest of the people down the highway, and one by one, the dogs pick off the old fucks and the slow people, because they’re in the fast lane where they don’t belong, get the fuck out of the fast lane if you’re an old fuck, if you’re a slow fuck, get over on the right, get over on the right. And then, the lucky ones, the lucky people who manage to make it all the way outside of town, they discover when they get there, that big sparks from the city have lit the suburbs on fire, and the suburbs burn uncontrollably, and thousands of identical homes have identical fires with identical smoke, killing all the identical soccer moms and their identical kids named Jason and Jennifer. And now the fire spreads to the farmlands, and the farmlands burn intensely at 425 degrees creating millions of baked potatoes, and as the farmlands burn, thousands of barns and farmhouses begin to explode from all of the hidden methamphetamine labs, and the meth chemicals run downhill into the rivers and streams where wild animals drink the water and get completely geeked on speed, so bears and wolves anked up on crank start roaming the countryside looking for people to eat, even though they’re not really hungry. Then the fire spreads to the forest, and the forests burn furiously and hundreds of elves and trolls and fairies come running out of the woods screaming ”Bambi’s dead!, Bambi’s dead!”, and he is, he is, finally, that fucking little cunt, Bambi, is dead, dead! Now hundreds of regional fires come together in one huge interstate inferno and all 12 of the western states are burning out of control, except Utah, where the Mormons don’t allow fires. And the fire spreads across The Great Plains, toasting the wheat, cooking the cattle, and producing, hamburgers actually. Then it leaps the Mississippi and races through The South, blowing up stills, interrupting lynchings, and killing millions of inbred people. And then it turns northeast and it heads for Washington D.C. where George Bush can’t decide if it’s an emergency or not, he can’t decide this, he doesn’t know, oh, oh it’s hard work, he can’t decide because Dick Cheney is in prison, so instead, he takes a nap, he takes a nap!, he puts his empty fuckin brainless head down on his little pillow his mother gave him at Christmastime and he takes a fuckin nap. So the fire moves to Philadelphia, but it’s a weekend, and Philadelphia is closed on the weekend. So the fire moves to New York City, and the people in New York tell the fire to go fuck itself, go fuck yourself, and it does! And it does, so instead it burns down Long Island and Connecticut, killing all the rich white assholes, and completely destroying their evil faggotty golf courses. And while all this is going on, Canada burns to the ground, but nobody notices. And now the entire North American continent is on fire, producing a huge thermal updraft and creating an incendiary cyclonic macro-system that forms a hemispheric mega storm, breaking down the molecular structure of the atmosphere, and actually changing the laws of nature, fire and water combine, burning clouds of flaming rain fall upward, gamma rays and solar winds ignite the ionosphere creating enormous clouds of ionized plasma, balls of lightning 20 million miles long begin shooting out of the North Pole, and the sky fills up with green shit, and then suddenly, the entire fabric of space time splits in two, a huge crack in the universe opens, and all the dead people from the past begin falling through, Babe Ruth, Groucho Marx, Davey Crockett, Tiny Tim, Porky Pig, Hitler, Janis Joplin, Allen Ludden, my Uncle Dave, your Uncle Dave, everybody’s Uncle Dave, an endless stream of dead Uncle Daves falling through the crack. And all the dead Uncle Daves start gathering around a heavenly kitchen table, they light up cigarettes, and they begin to talk. They talk about how they never got a break, how their parents didn’t love them, and how their children were ungrateful. They talk about how the government screwed them out of money, and how they just missed out on a big job. They say the Jews own everything, and the Blacks get special treatment. And all the hatred and bitterness drips out of these people, and forms a big pool of liquid hate, and the pool of liquid hate begins to spin, round and round it spins, faster and faster, and the faster it spins, the bigger it gets, faster and faster, bigger and bigger, until the whirling pool of hate is bigger than the entire universe, and then suddenly it explodes into trillions of tiny stars and every star has a trillion planets, and every planet has a trillion Uncle Daves, and all the Uncle Daves have good jobs, perfect eyesight, and shoes that fit. They have great sex lives, and free health care, they understand the internet, their kids think their cool, and they all love their neighbors, and every week, without fail, Uncle Dave wins the lottery, forever and ever til the end of time, every single Uncle Dave has a winning ticket, and Uncle Dave is finally happy.

  • tOmy`

    It was on my list for quite some time now. I shall dig into that once I finish Justified. Speaking of Justified: Have you guys seen Justified? I heard it’s amazing.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Life is Worth Losing? that’s my favorite one

  • Percy Gryce

    ♫ Now there’s some sad things known to man

    But ain’t too much sadder than
    The tears of a Wookiee
    Like a crumbled cookie. ♪

  • TapewormBike

    Mmm. Let’s.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    finish justified? you mean for like the 37th time?

  • Palpatine

    Reference?

  • Sully

    Tomato/Tomato

  • tOmy`

    I am just watching the last season again – seen it only when it was airing.

  • Like Icare

    You know what would be awesome?

    A blimp.

    A big giant solar powered blimp cruising above the stuff, covered with giant screens (that shit can be a projection from inside) and big giant speakers it cruises above the stuff and streams Plinkett reviews and porn and cartoons non-stop.

    And it has drones on the underside, which detach and do the same thing from a lower altitude. Just for extra kicks.

    Wouldn’t that be awesome? I think that would be awesome.

  • Brack to the Future

    What is it with zombies? ~ Pontius Pilate

  • Brack to the Future

    Maybe I’m a bit technical here, but the uplink would be extensive in order to truly stream. And despite this being a festival of moving black baseball-sized rocks from one creekbed to another, it’s all about the Sun God. Some something that blotted out God might incite instead of excite. Skiddly scat scat, cat.

  • Andrew Dickman

    🙁 The Lightning Fast VCR Repair Shirt sold out already. I needed to wait a couple of days to get something…

  • Potatoes don’t work that way. Weird.

  • She sounds like the lady in mr Stoklasas earlier work. Monkeyman gets his.

  • Like Icare

    No biggie. By the time the blimp is built quick and cheap mobile streaming will be ubiquitous. And besides, there’s always space satellites. No issue with downstream there.
    And you only need to downstream it once. It’s a blimp.
    Plenty of space for hard drives. Particularly these new 21st century flashy ones.

    Meanwhile, Bill Gates is wasting his money on malaria.

  • Like Icare

    Correction.
    “What is it with these JEWS and zombies? First this guy supposedly raises dead, now he has supposedly came back from the dead and is walking around asking people to stick their hands into holes in his body? I wanna go back to Rome. Fuck this place.” – Pontius Pilate

  • Like Icare
  • Palpatine

    George, what the hell were you doing on a stupid kids show?!

  • Like Icare

    Replacing the Luckiest Beatle ever.

    And being awesome as usual. Now… Alec Baldwin…
    That’s vergin into uncomfortably close to psychotic.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBRb_mpM1VY

    It’s like watchin a children’s show written and directed by David Lynch.

  • Palpatine

    Look, I love Carlin as much as the next guy, but he’s such an odd choice to be the host of a kids show. He’s a guy whose most famous routine is calling all religion bullshit.

  • Like Icare

    He’s also the guy who asked Kevin Smith to get him a role of a Cardinal who strangles children.

    He’s PERFECT for a kids show!

    Also, his most famous routine is actually this one:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMkNsMMvrqk
    And we already know that kids would just LOVE that.

  • shogunmaster

    When can I buy a Rich Evans action figure? I have a deep seeded need to put on my R2D2 costume and masturbate with a Rich Evans figure yelling out ‘I fucking love RLM!!’

  • TapewormBike

    I wonder what is the status of the Lightning Fast VCR Repair shirts?

  • Brack to the Future

    unsubscribed

  • tOmy`

    Just like the frauds themselves they got sold out. It’s like poetry, it makes you slightly irritated.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of Justified: What is your personal favorite TV show finale / last season? There ain’t many shows that managed to leave on the high(est) note after a long run. The only one I can honestly think of is Boardwalk Empire and quite possibly Breaking Bad (however, BB was very constant with the quality).

  • tOmy`

    And the worst offenders when it comes to the finales: Dexter, Californication and Sons of Anarchy.

  • TapewormBike

    The News. It went downhill since the 11th September 2001 episode.

  • Palpatine

    The series finale of Roseanne will always be dear to me.

  • tOmy`

    I was hoping for someone to say Friends and admit that it made him cry, but I will allow Roseanne as well.

  • Palpatine

    You’ll allow it even though the final season was just a dream?

  • tOmy`

    Any show plagiarizing Dallas is fine in my book.

  • Palpatine

    Even the ending of St. Elsewhere’s?

  • TapewormBike

    I know the ending, but I don’t think it ever aired in here.

  • Palpatine

    Even people who didn’t watch the show such as myself know about the ending.

  • tOmy`

    What kinda shit are you watching, dewd?

  • tOmy`

    Yea, it’s one for the books just like Dexter and its brilliant demise.

  • Kirke

    I’m one of the three people on the planet who loved the HIMYM ending. The tears of Barney/Robin shippers taste like honey to me.

  • tOmy`

    *cocks shotgun*

    I’ll go first.

  • TapewormBike

    “shotguns cock”

    Wait a bit

  • Kirke

    You hear that sound? It’s the sound of CANON!!!!!!

  • TapewormBike

    Fucking Bobby and his shower

  • tOmy`

    It ruined showers and dreams for everyone.

  • TapewormBike

    Especially for your grandma. Dreaming in the shower. Think about that.

  • tOmy`

    And even for starving African kids in Cambodia. And they only dream about showers.

    ba-dum-poverty

  • TapewormBike

    I genuienly cannot think of a show that ended better than it started. Like, Red Dwarf went to complete shit for example.

  • Palpatine

    I take it you’re not a fan of that show?

  • TapewormBike

    “What’s the deal with those big tummies those hungry kids have?”

  • TapewormBike

    Show’s fine, ending is shit.

  • tOmy`

    Exactly. As I said, Breaking Bad simply maintained the uber quality and Boardwalk Empire is remarkable for being very ballsy with its final season. Even freaking Wire didn’t leave on the highest note. Justified is really oddity – its final season is on par with its best, even slightly better.

    Oh, and The Shield was delivering its best punches till the very end.

  • tOmy`

    I gave up around 5th season when I honestly couldn’t be bothered with it anymore. However I really do love the first 2 / 3 seasons. It had me in stitches.

  • tOmy`

    “They don’t eat? Then no presents for them!”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    same.I kinda powered my way thru season 6 but I can’t be pressed to remember a single thing about it so I quit at that point.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m gonna give a shout out to Prison Break. Season 4 in general was among the worst things to ever hit the TV screen.

  • TapewormBike

    To be fair, as was Season 3, Season 4 just decided to build on that foundation of shit and went beyond.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m gonna go ahead and say the final episode of Twin Peaks. I don’t care about unresolved cliffhangers-that half hour of Cooper in The Black Lodge was Lynch being completely unrestrained and it was amazing. I doubt that even HBO would allow this level of crazy creative freedom today-imagine how mindblowing this shit was at 1991 for viewers.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    season 3 was for the most part just boring blandness. Season 4 offended me as a human being.

  • TapewormBike

    And don’t tease a lesbian villain unless you use her PROPERLY.

  • Red Skeleton
  • dollar store cashier wife

    you tell em Tape!

  • Brack to the Future

    Bitter about the Lightning Fast shortage? If you want to buy a real collectible in the interim, I suggest a signed Joan Cornella. http://brack.n33s.com/img/hopity.jpg

  • Brack to the Future

    Sopranos. Not just the ending but the crescendo, so satisfying and complete.

  • RLMkeepitup

    used to see these ads constantly here but it was called Life Alert.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the sooner the children learn about loss the better. Let it Go.

  • RLMkeepitup

    another bit he did was emphasizing education for children, teaching them to question authority and what they read

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Seinfeld’s two-parter finale was the worst two episodes of the entire series. Personally, I hated The X-Files finale, which borrowed a few ideas from the Seinfeld finale.

  • Palpatine

    What the hell?

  • Lazy

    Someone needs to buy Susan a new shirt

  • Noah R.

    I imagine that is what people were saying about modern computers 100 years ago- look where we are now. With the technological progress we’ve made so far I can’t imagine it will slow down anytime soon. But, you are right, it’s not as near as the film makes it seem.

  • Noah R.

    I think she would look good in a large life preserver!

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    I can earn over 9000 dollars a month?

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  • Marvin Falz

    I like the ending of Cheers and overall its last season. The series feels concluded, unlike Frasier with its cliffhanger ending.

  • I never though about it. Maybe I look like Jar Jar if I’d thin down.

    *whimper*

  • Late with the electric bill to the Death Star again? How many watts per hour does it run you guys?

  • Damn! The replies are closed. Well you spamming skank if you are reading…..

    Conglaturation! You have won a weekend with the ‘mystery man of mystery’! It’s a two day camping trip to a shed out in the forest somewhere in the middle of nowhere. The ‘mystery man of mystery’ will be bringing various items for cutting, carving and eating. All you have to do is show up! WHAT A VALUE! HAHAHAHAHAHAA!

    Who is this ‘mystery man of mystery’ you ask?! Well here is a clip.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKbIHonVWSA&feature=youtu.be&t=37s

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix
  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Palpatine

    Um, what?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well clearly not Dexter. I’m gonna cheat and say Cowboy Bebop.

  • instant relief

    Loooord, why have you forsaken meee?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is this any TV finale worse than Dexter’s? In fact is there ever been a show that dropped in quality like Dexter?

  • instant relief

    Free upvotes for random nonsense!

  • instant relief

    White wine?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    With the president of space Rich Evans

  • Red Skeleton

    Aw, Man, Shrek was my favorite superhero from Detective Comics Comics!

  • Red Skeleton

    Lost?

  • Marvin Falz

    I can’t say that I get this feeling towards Jerry Stiller, but there are moments, when I’d love to punch Arthur Spooner through the screen of my screen. But I won’t. SERENITY NOW!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s more on par with it. It is dunberer

  • Now I Get It

    Let’s say.

  • RLMkeepitup

    that’s sure to appeal to the urban market. Tried to watch on netflix but got scared son

  • RLMkeepitup

    he’s a goonga not a gungan

  • RLMkeepitup

    Explain. Would you kindly.

  • Marvin Falz

    I recommend Oranges. Mike says the movie isn’t very good and since he’s the pro, he’s probably right, but I think at least the sets and the design of the fruits and the voice acting, the passion behind the project, make it worth to check out the movie.

  • Palpatine

    You racist.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Just tried to buy the Red Letter Media T-Shirt and size medium is sold out. I usually take a size small so the medium was already probably a bit too big. Darn. 🙁

    It was going to be a housewarming gift to myself since I’m moving soon … soon meaning Tuesday. Why does RLM hate Canadians?! Is it because of Colin and Jim?!?!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What happened to Pa? Did he died? 🙁

  • RLMkeepitup

    I heard he deleted after an argument thing

  • Palpatine

    With Andrew.

  • Brack to the Future

    All we want is life beeeyond
    Thunda-dome

    So what do we do with our lives?

    We leave only a mark

    Will our story shine like a life

    Or end in the dark? Is it all or nothing?

  • Palpatine

    Two men enter, one man leaves!

  • Marvin Falz

    Star Wars The Force Awakens is the prophesied one, which will bring balance to Star Wars! I for one stay away from everything Star Wars The Force Awakens except when it’s a reaction from RLM.

  • Marvin Falz

    More like:
    Q: “What kind of apples do you have?”
    A: “A null apples.”

  • Like Icare

    That too.

  • Marvin Falz

    Snoke sounds like joke.

  • Earth

    Those T-shirts are to Drop Dead for.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    It ain’t no Trick or Treat.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    As a result of the death of Pa Kent by account deletion soon began The Great Fabio Wars of 2015. Joaquin “Wizard” Phoenix fought for the side of Rich Evans as the Internet’s Fabio while Frank Sheev Palpatine fought for Jay.

  • Palpatine

    Okay fine, Richard William Thomas Evans III is Fabio.

  • Captain Turbo

    Does anyone ever die on the Internet?

  • Palpatine

    Go on Liveleak, you’ll find the answer there.

  • Captain Turbo

    All I found was a bunch of videos of guys peeing on the road.

  • Palpatine

    I don’t see anything wrong with that.

  • Like Icare

    How can you wear a size S while being an adult human male?
    I’m practically a midget and only recently did I realize that I can also fit into M-sized shirts.

    Is it some thing with the distance from the Equator and cartographic projections making Canadian S equal to European M?
    Are you trying to conceal your true size?
    It’s 4 AM in the morning. Do you know where your elves are?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jay in terms of size is pretty close to that size? No wait, he’s smaller.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well, fat guys with their hands in blenders do.

  • Captain Turbo

    Saved By the Bell

  • Captain Turbo

    Galactica 1980. And it ain’t even close.

  • Captain Turbo

    Kim Cattrall shoulda got an Oscar for her acting in Split Second (1992). She was robbed.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I should’ve gotten an Oscar for all three times I was nominated. But I didn’t because I lost to three great actors.

  • Captain Turbo

    There’s no greater actor than you, lesser Phoenix.

  • Cakefarts

    Until I gave my head a shake I thought you hacks had finally built a set fit for grown ups.

  • Bubs

    Better luck next time.
    How’s your brother, by the way?
    ….
    ….
    Too soon?

  • Palpatine

    His brother grew up to become Indiana Jones.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I better say there were still going on.

  • Sully

    They do if you’re an asshole.

  • tOmy`

    Sons of Anarchy. Dexter’s finale was just a dumb, dumb, dumb way to end a show that has been grasping for straws for many long hours. Sons of Anarchy took the garbage to the art level and wipe its ass with it. It was glorious.

  • TMC_Sherpa

    He’s not a Gungan. Look at the battle scene, it’s Jar Jar clones as far as the eye can see.
    I’ve got a copy of the script somewhere, hang on.

    *elevator music*

    Here we go, it’s an early draft so some things probably changed.

    Q-Jeezy: With this diversion, many Gungans will be killed.

    Vilos: Fuck ’em

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Did he died? What kind of grammar is that?

    I heard he was really old. Maybe he died from all the pasta he ate for suppah!

  • naah

    make more lightning fast shirts you could be making millions

  • Noah R.

    *hold finger up to mouth

    One million dolllllarrsss!!!

  • Noah R.

    Congrats on moving Taco, assuming you aren’t just lying!

  • deborahlburdine

    WORK AT HOME SPECIAL REPORT………After earning an average of 19952 Dollars monthly,I’m finally getting 98 Dollars an hour,just working 4-5 hours daily online….It’s time to take some action and you can join it too.It is simple,dedicated and easy way to get rich.Three weeks from now you will wishyou have started today – I promise!….HERE I STARTED-TAKE A LOOK AT…bm.

    ➤➤➤➤ http://getbucketdailytoplevelworkzone2/finance/working/…. ⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛

  • deborahlburdine

    WORK AT HOME SPECIAL REPORT………After earning an average of 19952 Dollars monthly,I’m finally getting 98 Dollars an hour,just working 4-5 hours daily online….It’s time to take some action and you can join it too.It is simple,dedicated and easy way to get rich.Three weeks from now you will wishyou have started today – I promise!….HERE I STARTED-TAKE A LOOK AT…bm..

    ➤➤➤➤ http://getbucketdailytoplevelworkzone2/finance/working/…. ⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛

  • Palpatine

    Why won’t you spammers leave?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Because fucking idiots keep commenting on their posts….. Oh, wait…

  • Doctor John Smith

    My bad….

  • Doctor John Smith

    Come on! Len is Fabio!

  • Doctor John Smith

    both.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Jay is apparently stealing clothes off Rich.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Int the context of its time, ‘Buffy’.
    They dropped a whole LA county into the mouth of hell…..
    Though most would joke no-one noticed.

  • Doctor John Smith

    1 upvote for irony.

  • Doctor John Smith

    YOU ARE FUCKING WRONG!!!!!
    Red Dwarf ended perfectly with ‘Back to Reality.’

  • Doctor John Smith

    *Slightly Damp?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Tuesday.

  • Doctor John Smith

    ‘Utopia’

  • Doctor John Smith

    https://youtu.be/Ijx_tT5lCDY

    Its never too soon.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    wrestling,video games and rlm fan fiction ain’t nonsense man. it’s a way of life.

  • Noah R.

    This flood of spam/advertising comments is overwhelming my already diminishing brain cells!

  • TapewormBike

    You said it, Noah.

  • TapewormBike

    Have you seen his photo? Fucker’s fit and slim.

  • Who needs millions when you can make thousands!

  • Bold and the Beatiful. I don’t even know how it ended but it did. It’d been taking up air space for way too long.

  • Kirke

    Fun fact; those aren’t actual spammers, it’s Jay and Mike, they want to get all of our money. I mean, they could just try making more merch to sell to us but that would require work. Maybe they should try building a sweat shop in their back yard, they already have two foreigners working for them anyway…

  • tOmy`

    Heard pretty good things about Goodbye Mommy yesterday. Anyone else can support these claims?

  • Sigh. It makes me wonder why the empire didn’t blow up Naboo instead of Alderaan.

  • Like Icare

    Well, clearly the camera added a few pounds.

  • Like Icare

    Yes. This.

  • Like Icare

    Screw Kim Cattrall.
    Rutger Hauer should have gotten an Oscar, a Nobel Prize and a lifetime supply of coffee and chocolates for his portrayal of a policeman fighting Satan and interrogating dogs while high on caffeine and sugar.

  • Po-tah-to just sounds silly.

  • Cakefarts
  • Like Icare

    Out of respect for the birthplace of Jar Jar.

    #DarkSideHasAsenseOFhumor

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Like Icare

    All I learned about potatoes is that when they were first brought to these here parts, it had to be first proven at the royal court (Royal in a sense that an illiterate pig merchant had organized an uprising against the Turks and proclaimed that “This land is my land”) – that it is NOT “devil’s seed”.

    On account that potato has “eyes”.

    And eyes can put a curse on a man.

  • tOmy`

    Yea. Odd, I don’t usually get titles mixed up. Anyways: Have you seen it?

  • bleurgh

    Wouldn’t know, I bailed on it after season 2 as soon as it looked like the show had tied up all the loose ends.

  • Like Icare

    It would put them in a higher tax bracket and the all seeing eye of the Eye R ‘S would turn its gaze upon their non-descript Milwaukeean warehouse which is secretly an underground film industry center known from importing illegal foreign labor from Canadia and making THOUSANDS of moneys (just like the Rolling Stones) from various untraceable sources, many of which are situated in foreign locations.

  • Doctor John Smith

    3.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Its not extra spam… its less comments.
    RLM is a ghost town these days.

  • Doctor John Smith

    That would imply that the quality dropped.
    The quality of Lost never wavered, it was the audience’s patience for them making it up as they went along that caused it to seem shit.

  • Dementia strikes unannounced. Who are you again?

  • Doctor John Smith

    *Who are you? where is my pension and why are you feeding me dog food?….. who are you?*
    Fixed it for you.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    nop. the film is not on any to rent[real estate] site and it certainly isn’t playing in theatres here either.

  • Who are you? Are you a doctor?

  • Doctor John Smith

    As i live in *Inset English speaking country here* there is no mention of this movie in my media.
    as i’m not a seppo I want to see this based on the trailer… but i think the kids are the Psychos.

  • Doctor John Smith

    When I was younger this was one of the better ‘bad pick up lines.’
    A”trust me i’m a doctor.”
    B”Really?”
    A”No, but my mums a nurse.”(trust me if you do it right it works)

  • Captain Turbo

    I touched myself this morning. Am I going to hell?

  • Like Icare

    Not really. It is not an equivalent problem.

    100 years ago computers were still mechanical and “a computer” was a person doing computing with a slide rule.
    Think Enigma and the Bombe using all those gears.

    Then came in vacuum tubes, making the whole thing electrical then electronic.
    BUT… while the transistors, then integrated circuits, then microprocessors and various other technologies allowed miniaturization – it is still the same old binary math, working with switches and very basic logic circuits which are nothing like what the mind should be like.

    Basically… it’s all just presets.
    IF a THEN b. IF b then NOT c. NEVER d. etc.
    It’s programming. Which is what we have been building all this time.
    Machines that can be easily programmed and which will then complete their program as fast and as cheap as possible.
    THERE IS NO CHOICE OTHER THAN WHAT IS PREPROGRAMMED.

    A mind would have to be basically the exact opposite.
    A machine with an ability to reject programming based on its own preferences AND reasoning (which does not have to be strictly logical or analytical) and thus able to think “around corners” to solve abstract problems.
    Instead of accepting that 2+2=4 a mind can go and say “not if it’s two cats and two mice in the same box”.

    Should we ever manage to create something like that it would most probably first spend days (or decades) inventing knock-knock jokes.

    What we MIGHT get in a couple of decades is almost intelligent (dumb) support systems.
    Think personal assistants and trainers – but for everything.
    Just follow the instructions displayed on your visor. Or projected around you.
    And that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms… it may create super-capable humans OR automaton slaves like the ones working in Amazon’s warehouses right now, monitored constantly, being treated like cheap version of robots…

    E.g. If amazon database sends a human worker to box 35678-B to pick up a purple dildo, scan it with a barcode scanner and put it in a basket labeled C-20939 but there are only green dildos in the box…
    Human then first has to report the discrepancy, then following instructions it must scan EVERY dildo in the box to make sure no more purple dildos are misplaced or mislabeled. All the while a clock is ticking, measuring performance of the human.

    But the main thing regarding AIs is that we have no clue how even most of the basic mechanical things related to brains work.
    I.e. Eyes are basically nerves extended straight from the brain.
    So, light hits the nerve endings (rods and cones), signal goes to brain and the brain interprets that as vision.
    Except, there is a whole another level of cells we kinda forgot was there – and it is photo sensitive and we are actually using it to detect light.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrinsically_photosensitive_retinal_ganglion_cells

    It’s basically a part of the brain we didn’t know was there until 1990s… after we forgot that it was discovered in the 1920s.
    And basically the entire theory how we see things may be wrong in some very interesting ways.

    And that’s just mechanics.
    Deeper we go, into chemistry, electrochemistry, psychology the less we actually know about how OUR minds work (and we have a language to report and describe what goes on in our mind – unlike say, rats) – let alone a mind we think we might some day be able to construct out of non-biological components.

    Or look at it this way…
    We have had the theory on nuclear fusion reactors for decades.
    We have had various experiments and experimental reactors that actually worked.
    We even have cases of people building fusors at home – there was that 14-year-old kid recently who built a homemade fusor.
    But we are still years away from the first experimental reactor designed to actually produce electricity being completed and operational.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ITER
    And the work on it started during the Reagan years. And it’s a global scientific and engineering project.

    We know the science there but we’re still far away from practical results. But we may live to see it.

    We know almost nothing about actual AIs or how brains REALLY work.
    There we are basically still at the stage of shocking frog limbs with a makeshift battery.
    And it is a MUCH more complex issue than nuclear fusion.
    Just ask Skynet. Or Data.

    And we are basically not working on it but on more practical “dumb” human-assistance/monitoring solutions.
    Which may come in handy, but may just as well be as useless as the work on automated film developer machines was for image recognition.
    Sure… both deal in some way with cameras… But that’s about it.

  • Like Icare

    Now back to 9/11.

  • Doctor John Smith

    I thought this was hell?…..

  • Like Icare

    Wherever you go, there you are.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Wherever you’ve been, there you aren’t.

  • instant relief

    Lame!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s all fine if you used some holy water as lube.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Leave my eye out of this!

  • Like Icare

    Wherever I bean, there’s a stain.

    I should stop eating beans with a fork I guess.

  • Doctor John Smith
  • Doctor John Smith
  • tOmy`

    Really Lame Merch

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you can shove it up your ass though.

    WHAT A VALUE!!!

  • The halo in your avatar is already fading.

    *I disregard the fact that it’s a fishbowl shaped helmet*

  • Doctor John Smith

    Unfortunately as they mostly use commercially available products like silver painted NERF guns. Merch is limited.
    Its a shame they hate me because i would have made dozens of original props for them for free…. i still would.
    Shit i make the damn things anyway.

    https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-2j73j-KoYTU/VeMb8qPxlqI/AAAAAAAABuY/-mOhoL896gs/w486-h577-no/blast%2Btech.jpg

  • instant relief

    I was just referring to the state of the webzone!

  • instant relief

    That looks awesome, man. 🙂 If only you weren’t such a huge asshole <3333

  • Doctor John Smith

    Screw it. everyone sends them VHS tapes.
    I’m going to send them a crate of guns.

    https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-uVo883IuyZg/VeMg5R-JV_I/AAAAAAAABwU/-ra_oHqmyYo/w772-h577-no/2013-02-27_22-54-28_913.jpg

  • instant relief

    For realsies?

  • Doctor John Smith

    i know… i keep making Nazi jokes….

  • Like Icare

    First they came for the knives, and I didn’t speak up cause I was not a knife…

  • Palpatine

    Do that, and RLM will ban you IRL.

  • instant relief

    No, Nazi jokes are okay. 😛 There were other things… happenings that lead to people blaming you for everything… ;P

  • Doctor John Smith

    yep.
    I have a pile of them that i dont know what to do with.
    Bit of cleaning and painting and a few new ones… one month… ish…

  • Doctor John Smith

    You Spelt FBI Wrong.

  • Like Icare

    What’s the nigga gonna do? He’s an Ausie.

  • Palpatine

    Are you banned from coming to the United States?

  • Doctor John Smith

    you do know i was the one that started the “I blame Andrew thing.”
    because I do.

  • instant relief

    Ooooooh… you so clevah!

  • And here’s a really lame gif to applaud you. http://i.imgur.com/chkiDo2.gifv

  • instant relief

    Mmmm, good luck with that! =)

  • Holy crap, this looks great.

  • Like Icare

    There’s a loophole to that, but it requires special preparation.
    Here is a good tutorial:
    https://knowndonorregistry.com/library/shipping-sperm/shipping-sperm-how-to-prep-pack-and-ship-the-donation

  • Doctor John Smith

    As i’m WAAAAAAY more white than my Wurundjeri ancestry ‘Wigga’ is more appropriate.

  • So… coat it in cum and they’re good to go?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Yes i do….. i was trying to distract from the smell of rotting Webzone.

  • Palpatine

    Don’t you have a Stormtrooper blaster?

  • instant relief

    Someone should clean it up.

  • Like Icare

    Mail your complaint to the joke to Quentin Tarantino, Size 9 Foot Fetish Parlor, L.A. California, USA.

  • Doctor John Smith
  • Like Icare

    Don’t know about go, but it takes care of the goo situation.

    Or creates it. Depending how you look at it.

  • Palpatine

    Those things can’t even hit the broad side of Rich Evans.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Or Adam Scamdler @Racistjoke .com.

  • Doctor John Smith

    That trick never works.

    https://youtu.be/e7mmrF-4rUE

  • Like Icare

    I don’t think that he worked on the script for Pulp Fiction.

    Besides, let him come up with his own potentially offensive jokes. He’s paid enough for that.

  • Doctor John Smith

    My ad clearly said “When Accurate is not your problem”
    So whats You’re problem?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Maybe?
    It depends on whether ICE go by charges or convictions….

  • RLMkeepitup

    Or just not open mail from Australia.

  • Like Icare

    But maybe there’s a koala inside!?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Chlamydia Bomb!

  • RLMkeepitup

    I heard they’re not as kuddly as you’d think, sadly

  • Like Icare

    Neither would you be, after spending days closed up in a box, being mailed across half the planet.

  • RLMkeepitup

    indeed, you missed the worst part – being captured by Andrew with one or all of those guns he has laying around

  • Like Icare

    Seriously… some people…
    All those sheep around and they HAVE TO fuck a koala.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Imagine something the size of a Pit Bull had claws like a Tiger and decided to climb you like a tree…
    Bye legs.

  • Doctor John Smith

    I dont go near the stinky bastards. i like being alive.

  • Doctor John Smith

    So a thing about Prop Weapons degenerated into STD and Sperm jokes…
    RLM is back to normal.

  • Palpatine

    Yeah that’s right Disqus, keep the spam comments at the top you fucks.

  • Like Icare

    Yeah. Most PETArds would change their mind really quickly if they had to deal with animals 24/7.

    Or if a dolphin tried to rape them.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlaZis3KQl8

  • Doctor John Smith

    I hate Dolphin’s the males are rapists and they all kill humans if no one is watching.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Thats right Palpy…

    Oh, wait…
    Hit F5…. Assuming you not still stuck on your phone.

  • Niccageshair

    That whole last episode of Twin Peaks is some of Lynch’s best stuff. It’s a shame there’s a large part of the second season which was completely terrible.

  • Jay Stein

    Yes. Now go to your room!!

  • Jay Stein

    Yes

  • Earth

    That looks like something out of Tales from Genesis Space.

  • Earth

    KEEP FILLING IT UP! IT’S NOT AT THE TOP YET! KEEP FILLING YOUR BRAIN WITH SPAM!

  • TapewormBike

    45 28 36 01 12 97 51 34

  • TapewormBike

    Man, running an amateur number station is not what they make it out to be.

  • Malevolence

    Don’t take a uv light to my picture of Rich Evans…

  • Bubs

    Does anyone else find it funny that RLM’s shameless merch advertisement has more spambot posts than any other?
    It’s just like poetry commercialism…

  • TapewormBike

    It’s like poetry, fucking annoying.

  • Malevolence

    Anyone else get really hard when Mike kept saying “Keep filling it up!” “Keep pouring! It’s not filled up yet!”?

  • instant relief

    And I thought I was the only one. <3

  • Palpatine

    I hate to whore myself out here, but would anyone care to read a script I wrote for a remake of Halloween? If you have any suggestions for changes, please tell me. Thanks and here you go:
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/16a1JglPkGGbwFdeqh20FwIrVpz1VGZN1nP7a7A42z3A/mobilebasic

  • Malevolence

    You dirty dirty whore… you take it bitch!…… yea sure I’ll read it

  • TapewormBike

    Sure, man, just don’t expect me to be fast.

  • Like Icare

    Yeah… UV leaches colors.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    ANDREW IS ALIVE?!

  • TapewormBike

    He never left

  • Ba dum tss

  • TapewormBike

    We do that after stating facts, now?

  • Trask

    And never will.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new Pluto Nash level bomb. I never thought we would see it again but here it is.
    http://www.ign.com/articles/2015/08/30/zac-efrons-we-are-your-friends-has-one-of-the-worst-openings-ever

  • Wow the documentary ‘Mad Max Fury Road’ really portayed your society accurately.

    But seriously. That looks cool!!

  • Palpatine

    Well that sucks.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    $900 per theater. The Western Ore Musical did better and that movie is like a a Christmas sweater.

  • Palpatine

    Why do you love that movie so much?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I said I compared it to a Christmas sweater. You know it sucks and made in like 48 hours but you love the horrible outcome.

  • Like Icare

    Is it?

    Apparently it cost $6 mil to make and it made $1.8 mil so far.
    Pluto made $7 mil worldwide on a budget of $100 mil.

    And it was… bizarre.
    This just seems vapid.

    Then again… it’s about people pretending to be musicians on account of their incredible rare and highly trained skills at pushing and pressing buttons so it is supposed to be vapid in a way.
    And it features Zac Efron so vapidness is kinda a given thing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Considering how harsh sometimes the box office drop is it’ll probably make two dollars next weekend.

  • tOmy`

    This is a very sneaky way to get our emails, buddy.

  • Like Icare

    If they keep in the theaters it will make its money back purely on account of people being curious or bored.
    Knock it down to a 1000 theaters and $420 per theater and it is still home free in 10 days.
    And it is nowhere there yet.

    It’s just too damn cheap.
    Only thing that MIGHT bury it may be its R rating.
    But then again… Zac’s audience has aged into R a decade ago.

  • TapewormBike

    Dick pics for everyone!

  • Like Icare

    Don’t knock Christmas sweaters. They tend to be free if nothing else.
    And they tend to mean that someone actually cares about you enough to spend hours knitting you a sweater.

    Now should someone go out and BUY themselves special Christmas clothes… that would be depressing beyond words.
    http://i.ytimg.com/vi/6l5h3SIWO6o/0.jpg

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Faith-based sweaters are all the rage these days. I’ve got one that was knitted by 17 Duggar children in the sex dun… basement of their home. I can’t wait to wear it to the office this holiday season to show my support for the traditional christian values that made America the great country she is.

  • Malevolence

    They can send hot specs to spam me all night long

  • bruce wayne

    I want the tasty cat meat he has for sale on EBay. A RLM embossed gat to squeeze, and a Plinkett beer stein that sings “come with me, and you’ll be, in a world of pure imagination.” You know, for when I’m dragging hookers into the living room to watch star wars movies. That’s what I want.

  • instant relief
  • Malevolence

    I will never get British comedy

  • Palpatine

    Nor will I.

  • Who wants to see some hackfraudery?

    #xoSPACECOPxo

    http://www.twitch.tv/previouslyrecorded_live/v/12481253

  • Palpatine

    Who’s streaming?

  • It’s from last week. Jack n Rich work on Space Cop

  • instant relief

    There’s nothing to get.

  • Bubs

    Boy, have I got a proposition for you!

    So since you guys are all into merchandising, I figured: why not combine two great things that you love? Beer, and merchandising. By which I mean, you should start a microbrewery. I hereby present you with:

    http://postimg.org/image/y9eie5lid/

    Call me. Let’s do business!
    1-(708)- 2-FRAUDS

  • Noah R.

    I’d buy that for a dollar!

  • Noah R.

    Yeah, it’s been a bit quieter lately, that’s for sure.

  • instant relief

    Wookies don’t have dollars.

  • Doctor John Smith

    but its not CGI?

  • Percy Gryce
  • Wizard Phoenix

    I was listening to this sad as shit music when I read this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOSXygaUxYk

  • RLMkeepitup

    one of the classic minds in horror

  • The experience was so authentic I even had to close a popup window to see the actual picture.
    Plinkett brew. May contain urine, stool, blood in said stool. Do not ingest.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Oh noes!
    X

  • Palpatine

    Great, now they’re going to remake all his classic movies without his permission.

  • Like Icare

    I am SHOCKED, shocked I say, that there is no mention of Shocker at that link.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXm8BeWT304

    It’s the same dream-fantasy kind of story like Elm Street but different enough to be entertaining without feeling stale.
    And just image it being made few years later where it would all be about computers.

    Say what you want about Wes Craven, but dude understood the horror genre.
    Well… apart from that movie with Eddie Murphy as a vampire.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBel3A1-f2c
    Cocaine is a hell of a drug I guess…

  • Doctor John Smith

    I was right on the other side of the farm when i found out and had to walk a kilometer to the computer just to say.
    RIP Wes Craven. You traumatised my childhood but in a good way.
    Thank you.

  • Doctor John Smith

    i miss my copy of After Effects.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Doctor John Smith

    Why did you post this!? i’m supposed to be working on the fences and i cant stop watching@!

  • Noah R.

    I have dollars on the inside *sniffle

  • Snake Squeezer

    “…and Auckland which is on country New Zealand.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blJ0b-nb1ms

  • Hank_Henshaw

    They already did, with his permission.

  • Seth

    Sold out of Lightning Fast shirts already? The neckbeards must have bought multiple duplicates to account for the inevitable stretching and mustard stains.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s harsh, you asshole.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    STILL no side-scrolling mobile game where you run amok as Mike, Rich, Jay, or Jack, through the RLM studios, select Wisconsin locations, Best of the Worst movie scenes, drive vehicles like the Space Cop Crown Vic, and battle bosses like Crazy Fat Ethel, Alienator, Spanish Santa Claus. Unlock Jessi and use your ion-shooting orbs to take care of bidness!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t forget the Wheel of The Worst DLC. Play as Shoji Tabuchi, Tay Zonday, Linda, Betty, Justine Bateman, and her boyfriend Jason Bateman. Stages like the How To Be A Teenage Ninja cave, a cable access set, Alan Funt’s hotel room, and Rich Evan’s grandparent’s house. Bosses included are Eloise Cole, Don/Dan Wilson, SOS Jesus, and Saul Gordon.

  • Palpatine

    They’re working on it. It’ll be out after Space Cop and the next Plinkett review.

  • Doctor John Smith

    they spelt ‘Stralya wrong. fuckin’ racists.

  • Doctor John Smith

    I just spent 2.5 hours of daylight watching Jack slowly matt a cityscape into a green paper window. and i couldnt be more enthusiastic about this video.
    Watch it NOW!

    http://www.twitch.tv/previouslyrecorded_live/v/12481253

    Thanx to Boss Nass for taking up my afternoon and PreRec for the vid.
    and if you ever wanted to know what its really like to assemble a movie… trust me its way more boring than this.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Have you seen Laser Moon Awakens? Another group of internet funny profiteers seems to have releases down pat.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    So many ways to go with this one – such as all of them, including up a stepladder.

  • Doctor John Smith

    yeah but that got DMCAed so bad.

  • Red Skeleton

    Wes Craven, director of Nightmare on Elm Street and such comedies as Scream, has died.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/wes-craven-horror-maestro-dies-818806

    RIP

  • Doctor John Smith

    One up vote for the post…..
    But Percy beat both of us to it…. and linked to the same page as you.
    Time is a cruel mistress.

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh, there it is. Searching Disqus doesn’t always work right for me.

  • Jay Stein

    Wes X… R.I.P.

  • Doctor John Smith

    I dont think Disqust works for anyone. but its better than google or faceblaa.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    SOS Jesus has got to be the hardest to get past – he can’t stay dead. Laughing boy can be defeated by judicious use of Gladiator Farts.

  • Jay Stein

    There will be no whoring here…, alright Palps you can just this once…

  • Doctor John Smith

    Shut up Vikings!

  • Doctor John Smith

    I forgot how hard it is to wash blood off your hands. Thats animal husbandry for you.
    *INSERT joke here.*

  • Doctor John Smith

    And seriously, i would have Just made practical lights for the roof. it would have been way less work.

  • instant relief

    NERD!

  • TapewormBike
  • Doctor John Smith

    you called?

  • I’ve tried to forget this… thing
    *covers screen with blanket*

  • Hope that RLM does a Wes X halloween special.

    #xoWES

  • Doctor John Smith

    *Smothers it with a Pillow*
    Fixed it for you.

  • *Shoots it behind the barn*

  • instant relief

    No, wrong number.

  • TapewormBike
  • Doctor John Smith

    Not ol’ Yeller!?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Dr Who is on TV and i have to say.
    “Kill the Moon.” is not only the worst episode of Dr Who but possibly the worst thing ever made by humans.
    Its so bad i wouldnt even send it in for BotW.
    It wouldnt even make WotW.

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    Yeller was rabid son and we don’t believe in vaccines.
    They put the microchips in you and then watch you from the satellites when you poop and make your babies all authentic like Rainman.

  • Doctor John Smith

    FUCK THAT!

  • Doctor John Smith

    Wapner… Yeah i like Wapner.

  • Like Icare

    It’s some waterboarding level torture just to listen to his screams. And all he does is scream. He never talks.

  • Earth

    I’m amazed anyone still watches the show.

  • Red Skeleton

    I can’t hear the phrase “Animal Husbandry” without remembering that the Tintin movie had a bestiality joke in it.

    Urgh!

  • Red Skeleton

    Tonight, 10:00 gmt, Red Skeleton humbly requests your attendance at The Manhole.

    “The Manhole? What is it?”

    It’s a video streaming website where we watch shitty movies together, but that’s not important!

    Tonight, we’ll be playing one of the worst disaster movies ever to disgrace the silver screen. This movie was so bad made millions of dollars off moviegoers just turning up to laugh at it. It was so bad it killed off the disaster movie genre until Independence Day came along. It was so bad it ended Leslie Nielsen’s career as a dramatic actor.

    “What?! Surely you can’t be talking about Airplane!”

    I AM talking about Airplane!

    …. And don’t call me Shirley.

  • Doctor John Smith

    So Billy do you like Gladiator movies?

  • tOmy`

    You have a clearance, Clearance.

  • Red Skeleton

    Have you ever been inside a Milwaukee prison?

  • Doctor John Smith

    I have never been in any prison. or even a Police Cell.
    I have been Arrested 6+ times. but politeness and a lenient justice system got me out of 4.
    Corruption, Police brutality and being INNOCENT! helped on the other 2.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Roger Roger, Over.

  • tOmy`

    Why am I not surprised.

  • Doctor John Smith

    What!? Like no one else here was ever charged with 11 counts of Murder….. Oh, ok its just me…..

  • instant relief

    You monster!

  • tOmy`

    Finally, the VMA results are in! Congratulations to Tay Sway, Bruno Mars, Tay Sway, Bruno Mars, Nicki Minaj, Tay Sway, Queen Bey, Tay Sway, Justin Bieber and Kanye West. You guys put the “I am gonna start murdering people” back to “gun laws”.

  • Doctor John Smith

    I didnt do it! and the legal system would rather i not mention the corruption around the investigation.

  • instant relief

    Are you Pablo Escobar?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Thays aint no law but my .45 Peacemaker.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Not to mention Kanye West’s announcement that he will be running for President in 2020. Of course, everyone except he realizes it’s a joke, right? You thought Trump was the bottom of American politics? Wait until the Jay-Z Empire gets hold of it.

  • Doctor John Smith

    No, I’m Miguel Sanchez.

  • tOmy`

    I didn’t have the guts to check the headlines of all the glorious clusterfucks that had to happen yet. It is quite early for me and I am not drunk enough to stomach it.

  • instant relief

    Who’s that?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    MTV has always been irrelevant. Don’t worry about it. Enjoy some pancakes.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Badder Mein-Hoff?

  • instant relief

    Oh. Oooooooh. Well… I guess me stupid person gotta learn my history right.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Dont i was just guessing. was he really a member? time to google!!!?

  • instant relief

    I’m too lazy. I’m watching Narcos on Netflix. 😉

  • tOmy`

    Oh my god, there is 13 minutes of Kanye’s ego?! This better be glorious.

  • Doctor John Smith

    I was right. fuck knows how. my damage cant be that brained.

  • instant relief

    You should become a teacher or something. Part time.

  • instant relief

    Stop watching this shit! It’s hurting your brain! Didn’t Plinkett teach you anything!?

  • tOmy`

    Hush, he is about to break down into tears now. Or something.

  • tOmy`

    Fin-fucking-lly someone announces his intentions to run for president with a mike drop.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    How many close-ups of his beautiful wife, Whore?

  • tOmy`

    You gotta give it to her tho; even she finally gave up on pretending she understands what in the name of a fuck is he talking about.

  • Doctor John Smith
  • instant relief

    There’s a shitty paywall in the way.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    That blank look on her face only indicates she doesn’t understand anything anyone is ever talking about.

  • tOmy`

    She didn’t listen to the kids, bro.

    (This better become a meme)

  • Doctor John Smith

    SHHH! dont call the Wall that! there are so many camps even Hitler is like, “Woah Australia calm the fuck down.”

  • Doctor John Smith

    Thats right Jaws…..

  • Like Icare

    He named his whore “wife”?

  • Doctor John Smith

    I wish this was a joke. by the end of the year Europe will use Australian tactics against refugees, by the end of next year so will America.
    California Uber Allis.

  • Like Icare

    Early onset dementia… cause even mental illnesses have a waiting line nowadays.

  • Like Icare

    Does Ausie tactics mean rabbit fences or sending everyone to Australia again?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Nope. we send them to tent camps in PNG, Malaysia and Naroo
    if they are faking Refugee status they are sent to the country of origin….
    If they are found to be Refugees they are sent to Cambodia….
    This is sadly not a joke.

  • Who the fuck is Tay Sway?

  • You know, the ironic hipster crowd, aimless teens and people who don’t know any better might vote for him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he won. And his campaign song might be catchy enough to get airtime on the radio without being more embarrassing than his usual stuff.

  • tOmy`

    This could be a beautiful death. – Kanye

  • What’s your vector, Victor?

  • tOmy`

    Didn’t you pay attention to Jay’s vlogs?!

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Yeah, but a candidate needs more than 314 votes to be elected, I think.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    This one’s over my head.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    H8ers gotta h8 h8 h8.

  • Kirke

    We need to murder everyone. That’s the only guarantee.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Or Palpy’s mp3 playlist!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Six o’ clock, Clock.

  • Red Skeleton

    You know, I only just now figured out who you actually are.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s okay. I was more impressed the first 50 times.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    #VideoGaemJokes

  • My ex wife
  • TapewormBike

    Pfft, what are you,a noob? I prefer listening to UVB-76. For hours,

  • I made one? I didn’t know. 😀

  • Red Skeleton

    are they still going?

  • @disqus_NwTohPDzgK:disqus Speaking of gaeming. New Feminist Frequency video gets uploaded. Shitstorm abounds. As usual.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    don’t pay attention to anita. that’s like feeding a troll or in this case giving her a big fat paycheck to live from.

  • Unless you have adblock on.

  • Palpatine

    What was it about this time?

  • Like Icare

    Next up – boxed game containing nothing but air and a printed QR link.
    http://www.playerattack.com/news/2015/08/31/metal-gear-solid-v-pc-disc-contains-steam-installer-nothing-else/

  • Women as Reward.

  • Like Icare

    I’d like my rewards in cash please.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGLrUVI69Xs

  • To be honest, I don’t mind, I’m baffled at the backlash she gets and while being a gamer does help understanding the culture you do research on so does the opposite. You know, like a fresh look on things. She’s flat out wrong about some things but I still find those videos interesting.

  • Palpatine

    I’m surprised Anita hasn’t commented on the “sexism” in Jurassic World.

  • Palpatine

    Oh no, gamers won’t be able to download the game until midnight tonight! OH THE HUMANITY!!!

  • That is the dumbest thing I have ever seen. What a waste of material. I think that the best way to have people that want to have a physical object is to have something that represents the game instead. Not just a disc with a install.exe file. Just corporate laziness. Sad to see this but also I contribute. I have not bought a physical game in five years.

  • #FucKonami.

  • fred

    Capitalism is pizza without the slices.

  • Like Icare

    That’s not it.

    They bought a physical copy of a game which is basically just a piece of plastic with “Go to internet” stamped on it.
    It’s hilarious if you give it any thought.

    It’s like buying a book and inside there is a single line of text which is a URL to a website from which you can print out individual pages and paste them inside your empty book cover.

    It also reeks of unfinisheditis.

  • tOmy`
  • Michael Collins

    R.I.P Wes Craven

  • Like Icare

    A statue with a QR code on the bottom would be kinda awesome.

    Sorta like a trophy on your shelve.

  • tOmy`

    EA executives be like: “Fuck, how didn’t we come up with that first?”

  • tOmy`

    Seeing it is MSG – isn’t it some kind of a commentary about how war actually did change the way we buy games? Or any similar stunt? I wouldn’t be too surprised.

    #PsychoMantisIsBehindItAll

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the backlash is 100% deserved. she’s a genuine hack fraud.

  • Michael Collins

    steam rocks, will be getting this game on sale sometime in the near future..

  • dollar store cashier wife

    H A T R E D B O Y S

  • Please, you’re insulting real hackfrauds.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    yeah it’s a deep commentary.I found a summary of it:

    http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TzLnbt15uuU/maxresdefault.jpg

    KOJIMA YOU DID AGAIN YOU SEXY SEXY MAN!

  • Just something. A manual filled with artwork in the Davida case.
    -“Thank you for purchasing our item, check out these other coool products we have”
    Not the ‘HAHAAA! GOT YOU THIS TIME! YOU ARE DUMB FOR PURCHASING OUR PRODUCT NOW GET LOST CREEP BEFORE WE SUE YOU!’ routine.

  • Like Icare

    What can I say… I’m the idea guy.

    BTW… Imagine ordering a game from Amazon and paying for shipping and handling?

    And then you open it and there is not even a condom inside, so that you could at least practice safe sex while you follow the instructions to go and fuck yourself…

  • tOmy`

    Well, she straight up embezzled money, lied, made shit up, didn’t pay royalties / mention names of actual people who made some of the footage used and worst of all: she is a woman.

    A fucking woman.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Obviously she’s second to RLM in that regard. I mean who isn’t?

  • tOmy`

    “Look, guys, we are selling just the illusion of game. You know. It’s a… metaphor. You know, just like them bosses. And that sequel no one quite understood. It’s like poetry, it never changes.”

  • BUT WAR HAS CHANGED!

    This isn’t Fallout.

  • I’d like to see actual charges pressed against her first, tOmy. This is quite a serious accusation. So far it’s been 4 chan bitching about how she’s a stupid bitch and what not.

  • tOmy`
  • Like Icare

    Well… he sure is clinging on there.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    just google her name alongside the word busted and watch countless vids that expose her shit. I stopped paying attention to the whole #gg clusterfuck months ago but it’s not like people change.

  • Dun-dun-dun. This changes everything!

  • On a lighter, videogame related topic. Has anyone played Max Payne 3 and enjoyed the fuck out of its soundtrack? I know I did. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEH_LSL4rVw

  • dollar store cashier wife

    The soundtrack was brilliant. That’s what made me discover Health. Death Magic-AOTY 2015 bby.

  • I’m a bit disappointed by Death Magic I dig the vocals but I miss the deep resounding drums from the MP3 OST and Get Color. Stonefist is really good, though.

  • Kirke

    So, calzone.

  • tOmy`

    But what about drops? Would someone please think of the drops?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Their previous albums might be more “raw” but I view Death Magic as a point of progression. While I digged MP3 and Get Color at some points the noise just blended in all together(as in I coudn’t separate the tracks at gunpoint)

  • Bruce Jenner did.

  • Has she commented on the sexyism of BDH?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ba dum tsss

  • Is your cat an ex-cop turned drug addict and alcoholic? Cool! Does it narrate what it’s thinking whenever you’re around?

  • tOmy`

    1998 – The ice from a flipped over bucket totally melts
    2015 – Konami sells an empty box

    Awwww, the attention to detail. Gotta respect that shit.

  • Like Icare

    There is no such thing as a law regulating intellectual, scientific or journalistic dishonesty.
    At least not in free democratic societies.

    People are allowed to preach and teach ANY nonsense to adults and it is up to those signing their paychecks and their audience to be vigilant and not gullible.

    Worst case scenario, MAYBE someone steps in with a “stern warning” should you start promoting violence and hatred against a specific group of people.
    And that’s a good thing!

    The opposite of that is “thought crime”.

  • Hey, I stole learned from hackfrauds the best. And I have it on tape.
    https://youtu.be/KP-6ewtJcdk?t=1m38s

  • Like Icare

    Wasn’t that Hitler’s plan for Warsaw? Make a lake a?
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warsaw_Uprising#Destruction_of_the_city

  • Academics are being scrutinized for the stuff they do with grant money. At least in Europe. Being wrong or incorrect is not embezzlement.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Please tell me as Kanye accepted his award from Beyoncé, Taylor Swift bum rushed the stage and grabbed it away, saying, “I’ll let you have your moment, but this award really belongs to Beck!”

  • Like Icare

    I’m not referring to embezzlement. That’s tOmy`.

    I’m saying that she’s peddlin bullshit and that there’s no law against that.
    As for grants… again… it’s between the grantee and the signer of cheques.

    But it is on the public and their colleagues to call them out on their bullshit. And since there are not that many people with doctorates in gaming… any bullshit flies if you’re loud enough and know how to game the system.

    And I don’t mean the kind that’s made by SONY!

  • instant relief

    Ah, that’s how Australia got its name, eh? As a tribute to Der Führer’s homecountry, I presume!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yay! My favorite interactive movie comes out tomorrow! It has mullets, beards, robots with whips that create giant spikes, children, wolves, robot arms, a Sutherland, and boobs.
    http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130906154435/metalgear/images/4/4b/4d68aa283cfd93230e1f70b70a1e4ee11378467692_full.jpg

    I probably won’t see you for some time because of this.

  • Palpatine

    What console are you playing it on?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Nintendo Dreamcast.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    PS4 because of poetry.

  • TapewormBike

    Why do I know that’s from MGS, even though I only played MGS2?

  • TapewormBike

    Tits, that’s why.

  • TapewormBike

    Playbox 64

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The mullet part of my comment.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    WiiStation One

  • TapewormBike

    I wanna play it, but I don’t have anything close to running the fucker. So, Youtube and feeling of a completely wasted time, as per usual.

  • TapewormBike

    President Devil was the best game on that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I like taking lines from the trailers and putting a RLM spin on it.
    “In Milwaukee men become frauds”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean Cory in The House?

  • TapewormBike

    Seeing as we are courting a PreRec video now, let me get slightly closer to the og topic and ask you, what is the dumbest promotional item you own?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Easy. My girlfriend had a Fant4stic poster in our bedroom. We don’t any more.

  • TapewormBike

    What possesed her to put that up? That’s just taking up space for some nice hot Che Guevara or something.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Cat was looking forward to it especially after Whiplash.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    Some Big Kids Meal toys I got from Burger King when Revenge of the Sith came out.

  • Palpatine

    Jay? Jay?! JAAAAAAAY?!!!

  • TapewormBike

    “You are…a man?”

  • Palpatine

    The game over thing is the only thing I know about Metal Gear.

  • That’s Old Jay. Where’s Solid Jay?

  • TapewormBike

    Google Raiden dick grab. I call that friday night.

  • TapewormBike

    Fuck all that, where’s Naked Jay?

  • Anyway, shirts. I hear you’re all out. YOU FRAUDS.

  • Gamestation 2.0.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    SPRING BREAK 2012!!!

  • I wanted to say a Need For Speed Carbon T-Shirt and a Saints Row 2 pendrive I got… for buying GTAIV. Not that I’m complaining but then I remembered this.
    http://www.destructoid.com/ul/user/3/343416-297407-C36020150804124342340jpg-620x.jpg
    http://www.destructoid.com/ul/user/3/343416-297407-C36020150804124359352jpg-620x.jpg

    I found this in a second hand clothing store… in a small town outside Warsaw. I just had to buy it. Not only because it was my favourite game of 2011 but also because what are the chances.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *green screen falls down*

  • instant relief

    Ooooh, is that a hint of side boob?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *pec

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jack Miller: A visionary robbed of his Pre Rec
    Jessi: A member deprived of her screen time
    Colin: A youth who curses Canada
    Len Face: A Ghost with only schlock
    Jim Emmerich: A Visual Effect Artist who stands his ground
    Revolver Mike: A Rival living a lie
    Plinkett: A Wise Man deprived of his Night Court Tape
    Venom Jay: A Fallen Hack Fraud.

  • Like Icare

    Does this count as promotional or just stupid?
    http://www.mightysweet.com/mesohungry/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/06-Pussy-Natural-Energy-drink.jpg

    Either way, I saw a bunch of them in the supermarket and I just had to have me one.
    What can I say… I’m as redblooded as the next guy.
    But I’m keeping it on the shelve… for emergencies. Ain’t technology great?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sEVT_rV_dM

  • instant relief

    People still wear shirts?
    #buttnekkid

  • instant relief

    Fuck Naked Jay! Where’s all that?

  • hamsterfist

    What happens at PetSmart, stays at PetSmart.

  • Jaws

    because, awesome

  • Jaws

    you got it bro, nice, he rocks.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You know, because, Halo is like, from the game, Halo.

    #Wisdom

  • rubytmillers

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  • rubytmillers

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  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’d really polish up the logo on the shirts – the “FA” in “FAST” is lost in the black of the tape. Maybe get Jessi to do it. Oh.

  • fred

    I learned a new thing.

  • Just another guy

    Pretty sure they would make a lot more if they actually gave away signed photos of Rich Evans.

  • broncotruck11

    Tomato/potato

  • broncotruck11

    I’ve been private messaging with betty….things are getting pretty spicy right now.

  • RO

    How about making more than 5 medium “RedLetterMedia” shirts… They ran out again quick.. Please, I want to support.

  • HarlKeinz
  • Cream-A-Thon

    I guess Betty’s never heard of Matthew Lesko:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPC3mLNL3B0

  • RLMkeepitup

    so hows your sex life?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Lie? On the internet?

    Pah-lease! Never happened. Ever.

    Yes, I moved. 😉 You’ll see a video about it shortly, I hope [shortly meaning either tomorrow or this weekend].

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s meme grammar, in this case a direct quote from something.

    You’re referencing things I know! Also, nice Disqus handle. Thanks for donating all those many months ago. It really helped. I’m in the process of colour correcting it. It’s a slow process …

  • Noah R.

    I’ve been waiting a long time for this moment *begins cackling

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    My Canadian small was a South Korean medium. Perhaps this might be the same thing with Europe? That and I’m rather thin. I only weigh 305 Canadian pounds.

    That said, I think the Canadian and American sizes are the same, meaning medium would be a bit baggy on me, making me look like a kid trying to be an adult [which reflects my insides, I guess … what?].

    4 AM is generally in the morning.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “The Internet’s not written in pencil, Mark, it’s written in ink.”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    What?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Dad?

  • Noah R.

    Yes son, I should have told you earlier 😛

  • Like Icare

    US and EU should be the same. Charlie don’t milk.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1lc4rqh7ZU

    You got… kids on your insides? Umm… Were they tasty?

    A for 4AM comment…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DIODJ68t1E

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    At 11 o’clock the kids were inside of me, that’s where. I won’t elaborate.

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  • jimmy

    No more “Lightning Fast VCR Repair” shirts? >:(

  • playdude92 .

    Shot glasses, huh? You sure think highly of us. :ugly:

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