Red Letter Media’s Star Wars: The Force Awakens Trailer Reaction!

October 20, 20152,353 Comments

OMG NEW STAR WARS IS HERE!!!!


Filed in: General UpdatesVlogs

  • Milton Dammers

    It’s so dense.

  • MHJ

    Wow calm the fuck down, nerds!

  • Every frame has alot of Ricks….

  • Amontillado

    Well played.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    woah lately there’s a wave of new content up in here. Did you finally gave up and abandoned Space Cop?

  • Milton Dammers

    In the sense of retarded.

    Oh… can I still say that?

  • Michael Collins

    If I could react I would!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    OH MAAAAIIII GAAWWWWWD!!!!!!!

  • Kyle B from the D

    I think they went a little to far in some places…

  • Michael Collins

    Sopranos!

  • Michael Collins

    I’m gonna rub my cock until white goo spills,

    yeah!

  • Palpatine

    Maybe they abandoned Pre-Rec.

  • Palpatine

    Honestly, I was expecting them to play the Ishtar trailer after Mike counted down.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    If only…

  • Percy Gryce

    I don’t even have to watch this. I can just look at the thumbnail and I see Mike and Other Guy and Wizard and AIDS Moby and internet sensation Rich Evans. Nothing else needs to be said.

  • playdude92 .

    Fine! Don´t need you guys. I can jerk *myself* off to this Trailer as well. What-

  • Palpatine

    Spoilers: they don’t show the reactions, they just cut to black.

  • Percy Gryce

    WHHHHAAATTTT?

  • bassbait

    am I the only one who isn’t really interested in seeing RLM review the new movie at all? Like I’m a huge fan of the original trilogy but for some reason I can’t manage to get hyped up for the new movie, and I don’t even know why.

  • Palpatine

    They punk’d us.

  • tOmy`

    Arthouse.

  • Palpatine

    Probably, I’m interested for what they have to say.

  • Palpatine

    *borderline experimental

  • Mike can play all detached and cynical but I know he’s spanking it when the cameras are off!

  • Bastardo!

  • Palpatine

    Can you imagine what The Force Awakens would be like if George Lucas directed it? There’d probably be a scene of a fat racist cartoon alien farting in the camera for ten straight minutes.

  • MHJ

    There are 7 billions of people in the world so you would NEVER be the only one at anything. And if they review shity movies like Transformers and the Adam Sandler shit, they can review SW:VII…

  • Palpatine

    Didn’t you get crushed by a falling smokestack the night the Titanic sank?

  • bassbait

    I feel more pressure to see it than desire. I do want to see it eventually but not right when it comes out. The internet is gonna make such a fuss about the movie that spoilers are going to be impossible to avoid, so if I don’t see it on day one, I’m gonna have the movie ruined, and chances are I won’t be able to see it day one even if I wanted to. With a hype machine this big, nothing’s gonna live up. As for them reviewing it? If Plinkett reviews it any time soon the review will suffer. Part of what works about Plinkett reviews is that he lets the hype settle and addresses the film without being caught up in what was going on in the moment. If HitB reviews it, it’s gonna be Rich and Jack thrown into the review which will make it less entertaining (I don’t dislike them but I think that a max of 3 people is best for a HitB review).

    When Mad Max came out, I heard nothing but Mad Max fangirling for months. It’s still going on. I loved that movie, and even then I was annoyed at how much people were talking about it. The new SW is gonna have to make Fury Road look like utter shit if it’s gonna justify the amount of hype around it.

  • TheManHole

    The epitome of hack frauds I love it.

  • Palpatine

    That’s kind of why I want to see the movie at midnight, so it won’t be spoiled for me.

  • Palpatine

    The lack of Jessi is sad though.

  • No one saw those action figures ever again…

  • bassbait

    It comes out around the same time that I’m moving to a new place, or if I don’t move then at the very least, I’m going to be on vacation around that time. My sister really badly wants to see it so she might drag the whole family to see it (I live in a Star Wars family for sure, all of us love it), but if I’m unlucky I might be on the road when it comes out so I basically have to dodge the internet for several days to not have it spoiled. Which is going to be tough because I need my RLM fix.

  • tOmy`

    Good callback.

    Now, who died…

  • TheManHole

    Star Wars:
    The Force Darkens

    And people whould mad about a black storm trooper before.

  • TheManHole

    *Spoilers*
    Snape kills Trinity with rosebud then Piggy dies

  • ReviewTheReviewers

    I demand to see Rich fucking a BB-8 droid while reacting to this trailer. You assholes denied me.

  • ReviewTheReviewers

    I am the only one with my DNA who just took a dump. I am a special snowflake.

  • TheManHole
  • ReviewTheReviewers

    quality fap material.

  • instant relief

    What a bunch of nerds!

  • TheManHole

    Who would have known that Darth Vader was look Skywalker’s Father?!

  • Palpatine

    I don’t even want to know what Rich did with the Captain Phasma action figure.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Calling this “content” is a bit of a stretch.

  • Palpatine

    You spoiled it for me asshole!

  • MHJ

    LIEEEEEEEEES.gif

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Given how Rich reacted to the first one I’m pretty sure that there is a reason they cut to black.

  • Palpatine

    Because everything in the room became white.

  • hybridm0ments

    Fucking hilarious. hahaha

  • HomerBrannon1

    Yeah, I’m sure they’re all still trying to pull Captain Phasma out of his ass.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fuck you, Jorge, each stanza rhymes too?!

  • LameSame

    Not to be that guy, but is everything okay with those two? I know I shouldn’t care in the least. But, goddamnit, I do.

  • Domo

    Never gonna give.
    Never gonna give.

    (Oooh, give you up.)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ha, came

  • LameSame

    More like Captain Orgasma. HO! Or-or: more like Captain PLASMA. Boom! Woo-ee! Ha-cha-cha-cha!

  • Palpatine

    I’m not really sure what happened. Talking about that stuff usually results in the comments about it getting deleted.

  • Palpatine

    That’s so 2007. The new trend is Ishtar-Rolling.

  • Domo

    That’s so 2014. Now it’s RLM-Rolling!

  • Palpatine

    So just cutting to black?

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’m at work with no headphones , haha what is this?

  • Domo

    But no gunshot. Gotta keep it unexpected.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Sopranos did that actually.

  • Domo

    October-Fool’s Day!

  • Palpatine

    Art.

  • Imaf

    This reminds me of composer John Cage’s piece 4 minutes 33 seconds… — Imaf

  • TapewormBike

    Uh-huh

  • Palpatine

    I already asked this on the last video, but it needs repeating. Could Kylo Ren be Darth Vader’s long lost son?

  • Palpatine

    Is that an actual song?

  • TapewormBike

    I heard that’s what happens if all people in China jump at the same time.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe he’s Luke’s son?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Isn’t that a Mortal Kombat character?

  • Palpatine

    Maybe. I miss Pa, he’d be complaining about the trailer so much right now.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I miss his grumpiness too. Maybe we’ll see him unlike Luke. Where is Luke anyways?

  • Imaf

    Yes, at least according to this guy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTCVnKROlos

  • tOmy`

    Well, we can all complain about this trailer. It’s not that hard.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Would you rather have a new episode of The Animated Plinkett series?

  • BCFC25

    Gotta love that sopranos ending!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Kylo Ren and Poe Dameron jamming out

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSwO-k-RqNA

  • Domo

    Well, I will say the one Tie Fighter shot from trailer #3 did remind me of this trailer.

    https://youtu.be/v93Jh6JNBng?t=52s

  • Domo

    RLM Fans: I Love You.

    RLM: We know.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Are you implying they’re all going to be frozen in carbonite?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    An apprentice of Rich Evans

    http://i.imgur.com/Hmc4CVu.jpg

  • Domo

    Their hearts already are.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    RLM’s response would be alot harsher. Rememeber-always gotta show contempt for your audience.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • tOmy`

    Buying shit before the movie even comes out is just………………………………

  • Jonah Falcon

    If there’s no Rich Evans jerking off a droid wearing a Darth Vader mask, I don’t care.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    I know the feeling

  • TheManHole

    Am I the only one who wants to see a droid jerking Rich Evans off with a Darth Vader mask on?

  • Is that a Star Wars couch? Otherwise I don’t care.

  • Crixxxx

    A lot easier than making a new Plinkett reaction.

  • TapewormBike

    It tooopid!

  • instant relief

    I bought 4 TPM books. And then I saw the movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No but he fucking loves Star Wars

  • Like Icare

    Didn’t see THAT coming.

    NOT!

    Do people still say that? That “NOT!” thing?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Like Icare

    Can’t wait to see that Slusho reference. It’s gonna be so banana!

  • Like Icare

    Ha! Everyone knows that it’s all about the TQM.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh god why?

  • Oc3anman

    I bought the new version of Star Wars Monopoly.

    I have the 1997 Star Wars Monopoly. It’s numbered, and it has 8 different pewter game pieces, it has nice metal 1000 credit coins. It uses star destroyers, tie fighters, x-wings, and millennium falcons instead of hotels and houses. It’s a really nice set.

    Then I bought the new star wars monopoly. It’s not really monopoly. It was a major disappointment. Cheap, plastic pieces painted by foreign children. They no longer include the one or five credit denomination. And you have to play using special rules and special cards hat is designed to end the game in less than an hour because no one has time for anything these days. Especially quality time with friends and family.

    Every time I go to the store, I wonder to myself, “Where’s all the cool merch?”

  • Like Icare

    Put THIS in your cargo hold, AMIRIGHT!

  • Like Icare

    I suspect he’s actually milkman’s son.

  • Palpatine

    So you did see it coming then?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Who’s in the new Star Wars Monopoly?

  • tOmy`

    Hey, RLM gang:

    I know it is a bit embarrassing and you are most likely fixing it as we speak, but there seems to be an issue with your video. You see, it seems like you had the cam recording on before your reaction video. lol.

    So when Mike does the countdown and presses the button, there is like 4 minutes of a Pre-Rec episode playing after that. No worries, it can happen to best of us 🙂

  • Like Icare

    Or tar.

    Something with those letters.

  • Wild in Wisconsin

    This accurately represents my feelings towards the new and improved Star Wars.

    Absolutely nothing.

  • TapewormBike

    What do you think of slugs?

  • Like Icare

    Yeah… that exaggerated negation of something used to be like a thing… people did that. And stuff.

  • tOmy`

    Aren’t you supposed to be watching something right now?!

  • instant relief

    I was a stupid 16 yrs old fanboi.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Juggle your way to health and beauty!

  • TapewormBike

    How can I be watching your butthole when you ain’t here! Also, I will, jeez. You’re like my mom if she wanted me to waste more time.

  • Palpatine

    Rat.
    Tra.
    Atr.
    Rta.

  • instant relief

    Te quiero mucho?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t make excuses for him!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    One of us! One of us! Gooble gobble! Gooble gobble!

    https://instagram.com/p/9CzDvblE6W/

  • Like Icare

    Dexter Jettster?

  • tOmy`

    That is exactly what I am.

  • Palpatine

    Is that you?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No I have more Mass Effect merchandise.

  • TheManHole

    George Lucas but they could not get the copy rights to his face so they just replaced him with the money sack.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Or That T’wirp

  • Palpatine

    Where did they find that tape?

  • Like Icare
  • tOmy`

    I don’t wanna sound harsh but I fucking hate her and her stupid blanket.

  • Star Wars? Never heard of it. Ishtar. That’s what the kids want. Sometimes the black goo can LOUD NOISE.

  • instant relief

    Very clever!

  • Palpatine

    Is she really praising her own movie?

  • instant relief

    But all I had back then was Star Wars. And now I got nothing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s like her first big movie, man. She’s excited.

  • Like Icare

    How is she one of us? She never even mentioned Rich Evans.

  • TheManHole

    http://imgur.com/Z6Cs0tz
    I swear they where separated at birth.

  • Palpatine

    *sacfriced a goat to

  • tOmy`

    Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize it’s that Hunger Games chick from Star Trek that was in the Star Wars trailer.

    I shall allow her reaction then.

  • instant relief

    I don’t know what’s fappening.

  • TapewormBike

    Oooh, I’m an attractive yet kooky girl, oooh.

    PR written all over it.

    Your parents think you’re a dick.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Plinkett already made that joke.

  • No. She probably is a nice person. But she has to prove her self by dance of birth. We all have done that, it’s our rite of passage.

    #osteoporosis

  • TheManHole

    I know someone had asked what the new star wars monopoly piece would be and it got me thinking how they can’t have both them in the same game it confuse the players.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I meant as a Star Wars but feel free to make her react to some RLM video.

  • Palpatine

    Watching Jurassic World… gah-hah, she’s so beautiful.

  • TheManHole

    Wait is someone doing a reaction video for the

    Red Letter Media’s Star Wars: The Force Awakens Trailer Reaction!?

  • instant relief

    You need a wife, Palpy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Ridley girl?

  • Strelnikov

    But he has the “force” of Rosie Palms and her five sisters!

  • instant relief

    Is she still using those outdated PDAs?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Have we just been Rick-rolled?

  • Ok, alright She seems genuinely happy to be in a Star Wars the Star Wars product. She can enjoy the ride. But I’m keeping an eye on her. I have also called Gary Coleman to keep an eye out. His tiny tiny eye…

    https://instagram.com/p/6bLRpyFE3N/

  • instant relief

    Gosh, just punch her in the face.

  • Palpatine

    I was married to Bea Arthur until her death.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I think he means the big T. Rex.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “What if Daisy were to choke on some food…”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ridley Scott?

  • instant relief

    My condolences. In the meantime, can’t you get some more behind Shmi while you’re in Tatooine’s orbit?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Was that Ridley Scott? He looks bigger on camera.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    The final cut is sitting in a warehouse somewhere next to the Ark of the Covenant.

  • Palpatine

    It’s from all the goats he’s feed.

  • Palpatine

    Shmi was raped to death by Sand People.

  • Oc3anman

    Vader, Luke, Kylo Ren, and Finn

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Jay: “Rich, where’s Mike?”
    Rich: “I think he went into that room.”

    What, RLM has so many rooms they can’t even remember which room is for what? “That room.” Nobody says “that room” about a place they practically live in.

  • instant relief

    Oh. Right. Awkward meter rising.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    *Waifu

    Wait, that would be Jessica Chastain.

  • stryker1121

    You dicks!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You richards!

  • Palpatine

    I’m not a weeaboo.

  • Like Icare

    BATHroom.

    He went to see if he’d actually rather watch blood in his urine. e
    He’s very empirical like that. Must have gotten it from the Scientist Man.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you praise every movie like it’s your first if you wanna keep your job in this industry.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’m just glad they’re still cool about fire safety.

  • Palpatine

    He’s turning into Plinkett.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    That was the one part where I felt emotion (sadness/anger) in the entire movie.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    These are not the American messengers of God you’re looking for.

  • Palpatine

    That’s an old reference.

  • Snake Squeezer

    The porn industry?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Praise? She’s just excited about being in one. She’s not horribly promoting it.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    There’s one hanging around here(not here here) as we speak. He has a big, fluffy, pink tail.

  • Well played, well played.
    http://i.imgur.com/67LESkR.gif

  • Palpatine

    Sully?

  • Jonah Falcon

    Fuck movies.

    (collapse)

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I was refering to your comment more then anything. She may be displaying real emotion here but 10 years down the line she’ll have to act the same emotion when promoting Taken 7 or Fast&Furious 15. You don’t get to badmouth the gigs you’ve taken. Not in the mainstream side of film anyway.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    No no. Not here. As in, where I’m now. He has a pink tail and a matrix jacket and skinny jeans and he watches anime.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    7aken.

  • TheManHole

    Fast&TakenFuriously:
    That ain’t my gear stick

  • Hi..Can I help yo..Yes where is Mik..Oh, hi Jay I did not know it was y..That’s mee. Oh hi Richie..you are my favorite costu..thanks alot..baaai

  • And you only noticed that now?

  • Juggle your way and become a cutie.

    #classic

    Keep the classics alive. Early HitB!

    #aaachachaaa

  • Like Icare

    It still checks out.

  • TheManHole

    Fuck off ghost!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Recruit more pimps, more pushers.

  • FUCK YOU.

  • I feel good about Star Wars for once. Why is that?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    JJ Abrams puts effort in his movies.

  • What do they care? It’s from Patreon money.

  • LameSame

    Oh boy, I did not know that. That’s all I’ll say about that, then.

  • Palpatine

    Because your species isn’t in it.

  • TheManHole

    Because a 20 litter rock salt enema would still be better then the prequels so the bar is so low that they could show the last two minutes of this reaction video and it still be less of a disappointment?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You racist.

  • Well, if you put it that way.

  • TheManHole

    Racist against Chinamen

  • Jack is still working on the lightbars in After Effects…

  • Brian Levine

    Amazing. That was exactly the same reaction I had to the new trailer.

  • Boss Nass is not Space Asian Neimodian, you racially insensitive fuck!

  • Palpatine

    I wonder if George Lucas will attend the premiere of The Force Awakens?

  • Brian Levine

    Then feel bad once more. JJ Abrams is directing it.

  • Palpatine

    He’s Space Jamaican

  • Brian Levine

    Why would George Will attend the premiere?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well he is executive producer I believe.

  • It can’t be worse than The Man of Stool or the prequels…

  • Palpatine

    I don’t see anything wrong with that.

  • He’ll direct the people to their seats.

  • Palpatine

    Good point.

  • Niccageshair

    It will take 2 1/2 hours and everyone will be in the wrong seats.

  • Palpatine

    I fixed it.

  • Brian Levine

    Not if you love a story line that is merely action sequences strung together.

  • How wude. And are you, and your species what ever you are…….. prune face……. wrinkle dick…….. you silly silly maaan….

    *sobs*

  • Brian Levine

    Great. You ruined my joke. The Darkside clouds everything.

  • Palpatine

    Wasn’t that Attack of the Clones?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Voiced by Prince Vultan. DDDDIIIIIIIIIVVVVEEEEEE

  • Mike Magnum

    By the Way. Tomorrow is the day that Marty Mcfly arrived in 2015. And all can say is. Where the Hell my Hoverboard and i didn’t get to see Jaws 5-18.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Remember this, most studios, not all, but most studios remember from their mistakes. Clearly Disney is staying away from the Prequels and WB is trying to make their movies more comic bookey.

  • Brian Levine

    That’s Chinapeople, you chauvinist..

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Citizen Mike

  • Brian Levine

    And where’s that cool jacket with the accordion sleeves?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And why isn’t Elijah Wood a little kid?!

  • Yes. Let’s hope he gets this right. That last trailer really got me exited. I feel happy. And the last year even though there has been a ton of good films made I have not really gotten exited about anything. I remember how awful I felt during Gods and Kings, for real I felt horribly tired just watching it. I’ve just been tired of movies in general since then and it feels great to finally look forward towards something.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    abandonment of standards is a pretty lame thing. I get Mike and Jay doing that when they actually go and see every every bottom of the barell movie but what’s our excuse? you can’t call something good just because it’s one inch above abysmal(like a bay movie,a sandler/snyder movie,a jorge lucas film and so on)

  • Niccageshair

    The Cubs may win the world series though. That was clearly the most far fetched thing in that movie.

  • No that feels great. I have hopes for old JJ. I think it will be like Domo said in the last post/comment section that even if the movie would dissapoint it would not be the movies fault.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    My lord! Well with this bit of news it’s time to predict the opening weekend numbers.

    http://variety.com/2015/film/news/star-wars-the-force-awakens-ticket-sales-1201621977/

  • Well I like enemas. But yes. Star Wars needs redemption.

  • Maybe this time the carpet will match the drapes. Meaning the story will take us logically to the action.

  • ASIAN! They want to be called ASIAN! They only speak Chinese. And steal our western technology.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    As do most directors. What makes him a special snowflake?

  • Man of steel was great………………………………………………………
    ………………………………………………………………………………………
    ………………………………………………………………………………………
    ………………………………………………………………………………………

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s not, George put no effort into making the Prequels.

  • The mystery box.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    6 trillion Yen

  • Niccageshair

    The only thing stopping it from a billion in a day is it may not possible: Time and Theater space wise. Is the record a billion in a weekend? It should smash that

  • TheManHole

    So about 10USD?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The movie received a mixed reaction from audiences and critics. I don’t blame you for liking it it’s just that as a whole I didn’t like it.

  • Ja man. And I have the Space Bobsled Gold medal to prove it.

    #bongo

  • Brian Levine

    5 11 23 31 49
    And the Power Ball is 17

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Nah. It can’t break 300 million domestically but I am certain it will beat Jurassic World starring Chris Pratt and boob lady.

  • That was a stunt double. Duh!

  • I think most people will be happy even if it’s somewhere in the middle. There’s no way it’s going to be worse than those two.

  • TheManHole

    Bingo!

  • Are her boobs really that big?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t know I didn’t see the movie.

  • Brian Levine

    OMG!!! I’m going right to the website and make myself a gazillion dollars!

  • Then why call her boob lady?

  • Niccageshair

    Let’s just say this: Disney can finance several Lone Ranger sequels off of this one.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Blame Palpy.

  • Blame Andy, got it.

  • Brian Levine

    Use other definition of “boob”.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yeah we know that. Still what makes people suddenly go and lump JJ among the greatest working directors today? To say that however TFA turns out he’s got zero blame in it? He can film a competent action scene…and he loves lens flares. that’s it really. What a value I mean extraordinary talent!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Give or take yes

  • Brian Levine

    JJ’s method is to throw all kinds of cool stuff at the viewer, regardless of whether or not it actually adds to the story.
    The good news is that he is the ultimate Star Wars fanboy.
    The bad new is that he is the ultimate Star Wars fanboy.

  • No I did not think it was good. But I still liked it. And I liked the direction it took. I think that it could have been a much better movie if it was just scaled down and had an elemental plot about our relation ship with a god that comes to earth. You know a super man that can do anything but is in many ways like us. They could have explored the theme with our perspective towards him. Like would we use nukes, would religion change would we put all our money in space exploration and just stick with the real fears we would get. But…. it’s probably too much to ask of a movie. Luckily there are books.

  • Let’s all go to the premiere together! I’ll bring the ‘shrooms.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    TBH it’s not like Disney would allow him to make something that would not tap into that rich well of nostalgia SW has going for it. This is product first and foremost afterall. Then again JJ has been working with god awful scripts his entire career. I’m not sure I wanna see what the man who approved of Lost would come up in terms of original ideas.

  • The Ghost

    I came here to see Rich fellate a droid.

    It’s fine. I can use my imagination.

  • Brian Levine

    Here’s what scares me: The ending of ESB was the ultimate mindjob. You know that JJ is going to want to try and top this.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “We have to go back Luke!”

    cue Inception theme

  • TheManHole

    I mean the prequels may as well been the definition of a product. They seemed to have only been made so George could make new toys and sign new deals with Burger King. So being a product is not new let us hope this time it is a good product.

  • fred

    I think I will enjoy all this new material more than the new Star Wars movie.

  • Brian Levine

    I’ve reported you to the Empire. Prepare to be taken to the Spice Mines of Kessel.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    True enough but I don’t wanna think of prequels as a reference point. This movie looks better then the prequels on seemingly every level…but that doesn’t say much at all. That’s like saying an upcoming movie about ghosts looks better then Paranormal Activity. Like the leap of quality should be there by default because you’re drawing a comparasion to utter shite.

  • The Ghost

    That’s swell. I can use more cumin.

  • Brian Levine

    Yeah, the movie seemed plausible until it went off the rails with that prediction.

  • Jean-François Martel

    did they have to censor it?
    Was it too shocking? Does the screen turn black for anyone else.

  • Brian Levine

    The trailers for The Phantom Menace looked awesome. I kept thinking that Darth Maul was going to be the greatest character of all time.

  • TheManHole

    No… That must be on your end the reaction part is hysterical!

  • TheManHole

    To be fair he was the best character in the movie.

  • Brian Levine

    OMG! You didn’t see it? That was the greatest reaction I have ever seen!

    Poor sap…

  • Brian Levine

    He was the biggest disappointment in the movie. And Jake Lloyd and Jar Jar were in it.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i figured Rick Evans’ reaction was too glorious for mortal eyes.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I’m not really all that jazzed for The Force Awakens.

    But I’m super pumped for the Plinkett review of it.

  • Brian Levine

    It was. It was.

  • fred

    Yeah, Rich Evans starts humping the screen.

  • Brian Levine

    Yeah, but The Force Gets Breakfast is going to be epic.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Not quite on par with The Force Shits, Shaves, and Showers.

  • onlym3333

    You fuckers. I fell for that!

  • Jean-François Martel

    it is all that matters then. I am not worthy enough yet to witness his grandeur, i accept this… in time, in time.

  • Palpatine

    They are.

  • Jean-François Martel
  • Jean-François Martel

    rotten po-tah-to // rotten potato

  • Palpatine

    That’s fine.

  • Brian Levine

    Looks like someone else had his stream blocked. Weird.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Watching Tomorrowland right now and some of the editing and writing is extremely annyoing

  • Jonah Falcon

    Well, she is a hooker, so I guess it don’t count.

  • CJ Croberto

    “if the movie sucks its not the movies fault”

    makes absolute sense.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Someone is going to be saved in this movie by magic blood. Watch.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Have you seen a urologist to unblock your stream?

  • Jonah Falcon

    You mean Half in the Bag, right?

  • Percy Gryce

    Is the droid wearing the Vader mask?–because you’ve left that kind of ambiguous.

  • Percy Gryce

    I thought they were pickled in saki.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Those writers aren’t writing this movie.

  • Percy Gryce

    Gotta have my bowl gotta have cereal

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXik1NdAVWo

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Punked!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Just like Demi Moore

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    you have to admire his commitment to the joke though.

  • We can be certain that SONY doesn’t learn from its past mistakes.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Star Wars Episode 7 will be the most disappointing thing since Mike stopped doing Mr Plinkett.

  • Whose? Ashton Kutcher’s?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yep. i’m implying his relationship with demi moore was a joke.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s why Marvel and Disney are running Spider-Man for them.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well if its anything like “Into Darkness” I’m going to fling self created turds at the screen in the theater

  • Strong_Bow

    You’re tearing me apart RLM!; you big fucking tease!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Honestly they probably just stood there and laughed occasionally, especially at Darth Platypus.

  • Fuck the Force Awakens. This is the trailer I’ve been waiting for. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-t_O5D-Af2A

  • Mathias Kollros

    it`s every almost frame is like so dense it rhymes! I mean he`s the funniest character we ever had, we are going to make him work…

  • Jonah Falcon

    That director is.

  • CynicalOptimist22 .

    I get the strange feeling that may change after this movie comes out.

  • CynicalOptimist22 .

    I’d really just like to know how the Death Star III on the poster comes into play here

  • RockyDmoney

    hahaha…excellent!!

  • You’re fucking awesome guys.

  • Bubs

    This is the kind of quality camera work I’ve come to expect from RLM.

  • My ex wife

    I was considering wasting some time watching that, should I bother?

  • Rob Peterson

    No. If you continuously stab your balls with a fork, you’ll enjoy your time much more than watching Tomorrowland.

  • My ex wife

    $3,234,423 for 2D sales alone!

  • My ex wife

    Heavy.

  • My ex wife

    I’ve been thinking about this and, the thing is, you almost can’t take anybody out of those seats now.

  • tjp77

    It’s the base where the new bad guy lives. But it’s not a space station, it’s actually a planet with a giant weapon carved into it.

  • My ex wife

    Isn’t that all people really want? A series of colourful images played in a sequence.

  • My ex wife

    Best thing I have read about him in a while.
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-34465916

  • James Earl Jones

    And I thought they only fucked awesome droids.

  • Barnaby Jones

    Not gonna lie, I sort of blacked out when I watched the trailer too.

  • My ex wife

    I wasn’t, but I kind of wish they did.

  • Palpatine

    I want more surveillance camera style videos of the gang just BS’ing.

  • My ex wife

    I’m a retard, and I get offended when ever I hear somebody use the word… retard.

  • Amontillado

    RLM Fans: We love you.

    RLM: Great. Now fuck off my lawn.

  • My ex wife

    Important safety tip. Thanks.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Lawrence Kasdan is writing it with him.

  • SeanLM
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Tomorrowland: A light and horribly simple BioShock.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If you want nothing you could just sit in a chair.

  • RPK

    Wait till you hack frauds see MY reaction video to your hack fraud reaction video!

  • Dark Hoffman

    I don’t get it. The trailer has been out for a whole day. Why can’t we watch there reactions? Or why won’t they let us watch? What are they hiding?

  • Palpatine

    Things got messy really fast, if you know what I mean.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Lets just say, this time Rich wasn’t using a robot toy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They had to make it black because things got too white. Yes I stole that comment.

  • Palpatine

    *splat*!

  • RPK

    Black face is soo racist you guys.

  • Palpatine

    From me, you fraud!

  • Jonah Falcon

    Fuck Kasdan! Fuck The Accidental Tourist and fuck Grand Canyon!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He wrote the best film in the franchise, you moron.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They didn’t go full, Ted Danson.

  • SeanLM

    Has the script leaked yet? I might want save myself $10 and whatever infectious diseases a movie theater full of dorks carry.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ten dollar tickers?! HAHAHAHA!!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Midichlorians is magic blood.

  • Michael Collins

    I feel like I’m part of the group, like I belong….this is great.

  • Palpatine

    Us or RLM?

  • Michael Collins

    What?
    There is no “us”, you saw to that!

  • Palpatine

    Wait, are you guys just a figment of my imagination?

  • Michael Collins

    Can’t hang around, I’ve got to get back to the future!

  • Beckoning Chasm

    It must really bug RLM that you can see a thumbnail of the video by moving your mouse along the timeline.

  • RLMkeepitup

    This video is more scripted than half in the bag. I don’t even know what that means.

  • whip

    Wow, this was a bit of a cheap stunt guys. Naturally people will want to know your genuine reactions to this. Bashing Star Wars is what made you famous. You rush in to capitalize on the trailer, with a very weak and lame joke. Disappointed.

  • Mark Bisone

    You know, I saw they manufactured that ball robot for sale. When household robots become common and blasé, do you think they’ll start bioengineering Jawas?

    If so, what size will its balls be? Would they fit in the average German Shepard’s mouth? This is all for my nephew’s science project, so please be precise.

  • Mark Bisone

    You forgot to say, “Unsubscribed.”

  • SeanLM

    I have Jawas who do my landscaping every Thursday. I can’t abide them. Filthy creatures.

  • Mark Bisone

    Yeah, but they work cheap and I think they speak Bocci.

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s much biggerer and betterer than the other two.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Bashing Star Wars is what made you famous” You’re implying the Prequels were anything like Star Wars.

  • Like Icare

    Why fuck with bioengineering if robots will do>
    Robot balls can’t give your German (or Sam) Shepard AIDS.

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s funny, but only because Sam Shepard’s balls cured my AIDS.

  • Palpatine

    Will saying good things about Star Wars make them infamous then?

  • Like Icare

    This video shows him was using a Captain Phasma toy just prior to the blackout.
    Make of that what you will.

  • Earth

    I’m kind of slightly optimistic for this movie.

    I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.

  • SeanLM

    I wonder if there’s going to be a big, evil-looking spaceship that’s going to blown up real good at the end. In other words, it’ll be a direct continuation of the last 5 or so Star Trek films.

  • Earth

    I thought those three letters had killed themselves.

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    All IS a sum of somes.

  • Bubs

    My favoritest part of Star Wars is when they use the lightsavers. And Magic. And Episode 3 was the best because it has lava in it.

  • Like Icare

    Only if they use a big ball of red liquid while drinking Slusho on a field of clovers.

  • Palpatine

    And The Empire Strikes Back is the most boringist one.

  • Like Icare

    It’s often strange how mother nature operates.

  • Palpatine

    Slusho, is that even still around?

  • Like Icare

    Shades of Gray at 70

  • Palpatine

    Life, uh, finds a way.

  • Like Icare

    IT’S A LION!

  • Palpatine

    Oh, that was a Cloverfield reference, I forgot about that film.

  • Like Icare

    Quite. Calling it a con would be just right.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    If there is a fucking “Slusho” reference in Star Wars Force awakens I will throw more feces at the screen.

  • Palpatine

    Why would there be Slusho in a galaxy far, far away?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well when “Man” went boldly nowhere, they found “Slusho”.
    Abrams thinks it’s a funny running inside joke…

  • Like Icare

    Cause it was in Star Trek retry. And cause there is a fucking Red Robot in the trailer.
    http://a.dilcdn.com/bl/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2014/05/swffd_badrobot_1.jpg

  • HeftyJo

    Obligatory, “It’s so dense, every single image has so many things going on.”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yoda: “you will be, you will be.”

  • Like Icare

    I never actually saw it. Just parts of it.
    But oh boy do I remember the hype. It reminds me of most religious events.
    And that I should never own a gun or a flame thrower. I might… do something.

  • Palpatine

    For a found footage movie, it wasn’t that bad.

  • Like Icare

    it’s so dense it turns into a representation of a black hole at about two minutes in.

  • Like Icare

    For all the manufactured hype it was way worse than Lost AND Prometheus put together.

  • Jordan

    jackasses. lol

  • SeanLM

    I can’t believe found footage even became a genre. I thought Blair Witch was a neat movie that film students would produce as an experiment but the fact we’re now hotly anticipating the 6th Paranormal Movie (in 3d! no less) is baffling.

  • SeanLM

    The Black Hole? Is Disney remaking that now?

  • Like Icare

    Yeah… And I mean like… mattresses? Really?

    http://i.imgur.com/eDM6N.jpg

  • Like Icare
  • Niccageshair

    Buster Keaton would’ve taken that fall on bricks and cement. Actors those days.

  • Palpatine

    That reminds me of the time some drunk Stormtroopers flew a Star Destroyer into a black hole. Never heard back from those guys.

  • Like Icare

    Buster went around for years with a broken neck. True story.

  • SeanLM

    Oh, for the love of….
    Then again, I’m always complaining about Hollywood remaking great movie and screwing them up. Maybe they should be remaking bad movies and trying to get them right.

  • Palpatine

    What a pro.

  • Like Icare

    Such were the times. They were making films at breakneck speeds.
    Literally cranking them out.
    https://nitratediva.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/screen-shot-2013-09-21-at-7-11-21-pm-1.png

  • Rob Peterson

    Just imagine the interest their pensions have accrued…assuming the Empire had a pension plan. Hell..they didn’t even have handrails, so I doubt insurance of any kind was banned. I mean…they were “evil” after all.

  • instant relief

    Didn’t keep him from getting replaced by handsome and talented Val Kilmer.

  • Joe Syxpac

    To quote a wise man:

    “Get off your lazy fucking ass and give us what we want you fat homo! No one cares about Half in the Bag!”

  • fred

    I kinda did too…

  • fred

    “On this it’s just something else, I got some wrist movement”
    — fraud and corporate shill Rich Evans

  • Palpatine

    Are you the only one on here who watches the Pre-Rec streams?

  • fred

    Maybe the only subscriber…

  • Charlie

    This one is better than Rich Evan’s Star Wars trailer reaction video.

    If I’m like the thirtieth person to make this joke than yes you can shoot me.

  • naah

    the snide assholes we need but not the snide assholes we deserve

  • Hank_Henshaw

    This video will spark so much RLM fanfiction.

  • Smegman

    Mike looks like a turtle

  • RLMkeepitup
  • Smegman

    that was really creepy

  • Smegman

    I haven’t seen any of Bea Arthur or Harvey Korman in the trailers! And where’s Stinky or Sleepy or Greedy? No masturbating-wookie-grandpa either?

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Why does the girl in the photo have such a big neck?

  • SeanLM

    One would think that this would be a great time to be a kid with all the comic book movies, videogames, and a new Star Wars trilogy coming out. Then I remember Rich Evans is still on the street and I realize it’s a terrifying time to be a kid.

  • RLMkeepitup
  • Amontillado

    Shit hawks, boys, shit hawks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg_belm6apc

  • Jonah Falcon

    I fail to see your point.

  • fred

    On the Google it says “Story by: George Lucas”. Does that mean anything or is it just a courtesy?

  • Palpatine

    A courtesy thing.

  • instant relief

    I’ll be watching you, J. Jar! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXqXzkiuIg8

  • SeanLM

    As per the terms of the sale to Disney, the credits must say “Created and Ruined by George Lucas”

  • Palpatine

    George ruined it in 1999.

  • fred

    I don’t like Forrest Gump.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Okay. He wrote of the best films ever made. Does that help, whale man?

  • Wolvy

    Is this the Hack-cave?

  • Palpatine

    Sure is!

  • Cedric ‘Zen’ Johnson

    Ohhhhhhhh. So THAT’S how you AOL for Internet! Who knew.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Mike is Hackman!

  • Conspiracyin559

    Slusho is JJ’s version of Hitchcocks cameos…but Hitchcock earned those; JJ not so much. Although…this flick is looking promising, JJ knows how to make great trailers at least.

  • instant relief

    It’s in his genes.

  • ninja egyptologist

    IJIRN (I’m Jackin’ it right now)

  • Palpatine

    He’s the hack the Internet deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

  • Palpatine

    Thanks for sharing that information.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Technically any form of commenting on the internet is masturbation.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What’s the name is the droid toy Rich Evan’s masterbates? I need to know for cosplay reasons.

  • ninja egyptologist

    yes, that was my point

  • Seth

    It’s enough to make you want to be a child again.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    DP-69

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Nice try, vegemite man

  • Palpatine

    R5-D4.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Excellent.

  • Palpatine

    It was the one with the “bad motivator”.

  • Seth

    Pew pew pew.

  • Palpatine

    Does “DP” stand for “dick pic”?

  • antipode56

    OH SHIT IT’S JAY TALKING, AUUGH

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes the one that breaks down after like a minute after Uncle Owen buys it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    im baffled they made a toy for that one….

  • maddog

    You guys are dicks…. well done.

  • Matthew James (B1trider)

    I’m getting a good vibe from the trailer, though I am cautiously optimistic. You guys need to start paying your power bills. Recording on those old VCR’s can drain a lot of power. You could take out the whole street lol

  • Matthew James (B1trider)

    The emperor is most displeased at your lack of content..

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa
  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Boners.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Yoda looks so fucked up.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    That would be like reading the comments before watching the video. And I’m sure you know what they say about reading comments before watching the video.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Why is YouTube filled with Lego Star Wars ads?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOiE0LCu6J0

  • More like vanity.

  • High expectations.

  • As in he was barely a character?

  • Fred Frink

    Fallout 4 is almost here! Not sure about this star war stuff, didnt they suck? Also, where is the martian review?

  • Fred Frink

    The Revenant looks good.

  • DinnerBone

    What are you talking about, the real danger is Dr. Toy.

  • DinnerBone

    I was expecting something funny. It was a good troll, but not funny.

  • Bubs

    Rich is looking so fuckable.

  • Fred Frink

    they’re giving it the respect it deserves.

  • instant relief

    It deserves whaaat?

  • I’m not trying to pull you
    Even though I would like to
    I think you are really fit
    You’re fit But my gosh don’t you know it

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64gvmHKWaWc

  • So, I take it you bought the Lightning Fast VCR Repair shirt and now you pretend you work for them?

  • Hey, didn’t Fallout 3 also kind of suck?

  • Welcome Back Otter

    It’s very hard to simulate jerking off with BB-8.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    It’s a shame Mike doesn’t turn the camera ‘off’ again afterward. I would have enjoyed a couple of hours of fly on the wall footage from the RLM office.

  • Fred Frink

    Is that supposed to be a snide comment or something?
    F3 was great. Critically acclaimed and well deserving of its many 2008 game of the year awards.

  • Rachelle Nickle

    Do You Want To Make Money Like Google and Facebook? view The Site Below To Learn How You Can ‘Steal’ Their Billion Dollar Business Model And Use It To Build Your Own Online Empire! It is the nicest way to earn more and more money at home.$40h – $90h…how? part time or full time,I’ve been bringing in $82h… It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it out.

    http://www.ziprecruiter.tld.cc
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  • Fred Frink

    Does anyone remember Kevin Trudeau’s Mega-Memory on the Danny Bonaduce show?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Anyone think the new Star Wars will end with all our heroes connecting their starships together into one mega-starship and firing a giant blue laser beam from a gun mounted on the Millennium Falcon while the music goes BWAAAHHH, BWAAAHHH, BWAAAHHH until the new Death Star explodes in a fiery inferno? Disney would never do that, right?

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    thanks cunt! now I’m rich!! Rich as Nazi’s!

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    It’s like shooting up morphine into your eyeballs. Is that what they say?

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    it had better

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    Don’t even try to diss Kev T. Not joking. I don’t give a fuck about Danny.

  • Fred Frink

    Is that what happened in Jews in Space? The Dreidel maneuver?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I would watch that. It sounds better than the prequels.

  • Jonah Falcon

    He did NOT write Local Hero.

  • Michael Collins

    So yah, back on topic there, started watchin the first episode a fargo season 2 ther, got fucking annoying really quick
    Bit too quirky for me ther, fuckin shame, as season 1 was pretty good and all.

  • instant relief

    Rich as a Nazi? Where?

  • instant relief

    You mean they’re gonna assemble the Mega Maid? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VptOUWC-Itc

    I’d watch that for a… for 88 Euro cents.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Only through the elimination of pimps and pushers, can we achieve peace.-YK Kim.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    yo, yer not “on topic” at all. hshahaha. this is star wars.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    space hitler

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thare is no topic. Never fall for that trick.

  • Omis

    A ninja turtle.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Honestly the reaction to this trailer was Hilarious!
    I dont know what was funnier. Rich having sex with the 3foot storm trooper, Mike drinking from his massive flask(the felt tip pen “Acetone” on the side was a nice touch.) or Jay stoically watching the trailer.
    That was hilarious and I know some people are having trouble with the last few minutes but if you refresh a few times it plays the whole thing.

  • Amontillado

    I’ll just leave this here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJslR5FwSAc

  • tOmy`

    But what about “spaceship flying through tight space”?

  • capitandelespacio

    Rick Berman?

  • capitandelespacio

    Go fuck yourself!

  • instant relief

    Hacks & frauds will break my bones…

  • tOmy`

    Same here. But I think it’s just my frustration taking the best of me.

  • LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

    #LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

  • LOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOL
    LOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOL
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  • Michael Collins

    shut the fuck up, paddy wan..

  • Niccageshair

    That droid is the most important character in the star wars universe. Changed the entire war.

  • Palpatine

    You just got your slobber everywhere.

  • Fred Frink

    a googan? a goongan?

  • TheManHole

    There is no lows Mr. Lucas will not sink to in order to sell toys to children and man children alike.

  • tOmy`

    Really? I seriously enjoyed it.

  • TheManHole

    That is what made him so good, no stunted dialog written by Lucas.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I’m still pretty sure Low Blow is one of the best movies I saw this year. What movies featured on BotW do you guys think have been the great?

  • Fred Frink

    Xtro was the a great

  • TheManHole

    Anyone here seen The Martian? Saw it last weekend and was easily the best movie I have seen all year. Easily the best work for Ridley Scott in some time.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I’d have to say Hard Ticket to Hawaii is among my all time faves too. Poor Seth.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    you fucker

  • tOmy`

    The concept of Luke Skywalker turning to the dark side of the Force is hardly a new concept. Dark Horse Comics explored it in the terrific Dark Empireseries and Mark Hamill himself recounted pitching the idea to George Lucas himself during the production of Return Of The Jedi on a 2005 episode of IFC’sDinner For Five:

    “As an actor that would be more fun to play. I just thought that’s the way it was going from when we finished [Empire]. I figured that’s what will be the pivotal moment. I’ll have to come back, but it will be I have Han Solo in my crosshairs and I’ll be about to kill him or about to kill the Princess or about to kill somebody that we care about. It’s an old cornball movie, like World War II movies.”

  • Like Icare

    Yes. No. Yes.

  • Buk Pravon

    Are you sure? :/

    All I saw was a movie stealing ideas from every other movie ever set on Mars.

  • Like Icare

    I like Mike.

  • Like Icare

    I think you mean pants. It’s in his pants.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Sicario was better. Even Ridley liked it… Daisy Ridley.

  • Buk Pravon

    Am I the only one here, who doesn’t want to see this movie? … all these lens flares… 🙁 … in 3D… -.-

    … for 15 Euros per seat. … FIFTEEN EUROS!!!??? >:O WTF? The last overlenght 3D-movie I saw only costed about 13 Euros. And that was just about two weeks ago.

    It’s a scam! Don’t fall for it. 🙁

    I never before saw a SW-movie in 3D. I’m not gonna start it now.

  • Palpatine

    Luke turning to the Dark Side isn’t a bad idea, in all honesty.

  • TheManHole

    That is really how cinema works though nothing excites in a vacuum. Movies always barrow off other movies. This movie was at least smart well written. I have just seen so many bad movies this year that it is hard to call a movie like The Martian bad. Keep in mind this was the same year we got Pixels, Terminator cash grab, another Paranormal Activity, Poltergeist, Fan4Stick, and that Vacation remake…

  • TheManHole

    But if we don’t needlessly convert things into 3D how will we sell our movies to China?

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    So just see it in 2D? And I only saw one lens flare and it was from the sun as is to be expected.

  • tOmy`

    BTW: You were confirmed for Battlefront.

  • Buk Pravon

    Maybe I sounded a little harsh up there. I liked “The Martian”… but just for those parts it did new. For example: I really liked it, when he had to make new water out of chemicals.

    But it needed more ideas of this kind. Too many other ideas were too easy to recognize from other movies for me. And that sucked almost all the joy out of it.

  • tOmy`

    6 Euros for 2D with subs.

    EAT IT

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You think RLM subreddit is bad? Check out how amazing the average contribution from Star Wars subreddit is:

    http://i.imgur.com/PRKvUmz.png

  • dollar store cashier wife

    christ you guys are like a broken record…

    speaking of broken records anybody up for a round of MCR trivia?

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Is it because Gui Gon had one more midichloran than Yoda? Yoda’s count isn’t even at 20 000. That’s stupid low.

  • bassbait

    I think it depends how they do it. What makes Luke a really great character is that there is a darker side to who he is, but that he triumphs over it. He’s not a one-dimensional “good guy”, he’s fully fleshed out in a number of ways and I feel like if they made him go “dark side” then it’d be a disservice to how his character progressed. There’s no lead-in to it based on the original trilogy, so they’d have to invent a reason for him to become a sith, and I can’t think of a reason that would make sense for his character.

  • Buk Pravon

    Till now I couldn’t find any 2D-screenings in my area. We’ll see about that… if it is not 2 Euros more expensive than 2D-screenigs of other movies of comparable lenght.

    In Star Wars there were TWO suns in one shot. I don’t remember any lens flares back then.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    exactly.

  • Buk Pravon

    You lucky czech, you. 😉

  • tOmy`

    Hey, this article just came out! Don’t blame the messenger. Or the middle man. Or the cheerleader… I am not very sure what position I have within this situation.

  • Palpatine

    Yay!

  • Palpatine

    The only thing Qui-Gon’s in tune with is his booze.

  • tOmy`

    In tune? Was he also on time?

    Great DJ Shadow reference, tOmy, I am sure tOmy will appreciate it. Riveting stuff, really.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    “Riveting”! Haha! I got that reference!

  • tOmy`

    Yea, isn’t tOmy great?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    That sounds suggestive enough for Disney to work with.

  • Palpatine

    20,000? As in 20,000 dirham?

  • Palpatine

    Happy Back to the Future Day!

  • TheVerySpecialK

    A prediction: the little ball droid will meet up with another ball droid, and then critics will start calling this the “ballsiest Star Wars yet.”

  • Niccageshair

    It’s a curious thing. Make a one man weep, another man sing.

  • Like Icare

    That’s because he’s short. Force likes them tall.

    #midgetshaming #aintnodinklage #greenaintripe

  • TheVerySpecialK

    “Hey! It’s 11:30 in the morning! Who’s been drinking?”

  • Palpatine

    And R2-D2 will stand behind them and yeah, you get the picture.

  • Tim Hendrix

    and now a real video, more vids pleaze, vids vids vids vids vids VIDS!!!
    Did I mispell Aids? oh no i didn’t. More Vids!

  • tOmy`

    I still don’t understand how reddit even works. It’s like that time 9gag promised me 9 pictures a page. What a lie. I am not coping with modern world.

  • Like Icare

    Neither is a story about how Darth Vader turned to the Dark Side.
    Or that Benedict Cumberbatch is actually NOT Khan.

    Anyone remember that?
    How he was like this TOOOOTALLYYYY different character called Kylo Re… I mean John Harrison.
    Anyone? Anyone? People claiming that Jar Jar doesn’t do obvious? People in delusion that he is a competent story teller?

    There’s a distinctive difference between theory and practice in this universe.
    In theory… Drive, Drive Angry and Fast and Furious are in the same genre.
    In practice…

    Well, let’s just say that you can spoil EVERYTHING about Drive and you would still not ruin the movie.
    While Jar Jar and the Mouse have deliberately hidden Mark Hamil’s character from the poster while giving him top billing right after grandpa Ford, and have been secretive about the plot as if there is some BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG reveal.

    I.e. It’s all in the execution.
    Which I’d like to be long and painful for Jar Jar.
    Something lasting a long-long time and hurts both physically and psychologically.
    #sarlaccWasPussy #aintMeta44vagina #noPainBadEnough

  • tOmy`

    I have to agree with the fact that F&F franchise is much better than Drive.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Sometimes, you just have to break down and give the fans what they want. Bravo, RLM.

  • TheManHole

    So more Prerecorded video’s?

  • Cynical Optimist

    What?! You mean a trailer with Ben Affleck wearing a fat condom suit doesn’t get a reaction video?!

  • Niccageshair
  • Niccageshair

    Since it is Back to the Future day I have to say:Almost Eric Stoltz, almost.

  • TheManHole

    That was an Oscar winning moment right there!

  • Ogrot

    I think Luke should be tricked into killing all the younglings, so Chewbacca can tear his face apart and tear off his arms, so Emperor Palpatine can encase his entrails in a comical contraption upon the promise of Pad Thai afterwards, and after by Palpatine tells Darth Luke that he already ate the last of the Pad Thai Luke could comically exclaim “No!” in a manner that mirrors his realization that his dad was also trapped in a similar manner.

  • TheManHole

    It’s like poetry…

  • tOmy`

    Moment of silence for those who don’t know he is about to take down a drone. By an ambulance.

    Really.

  • Like Icare

    Stop giving ideas to terrorists.

  • Like Icare

    It works perfectly if you don’t use it.

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    Or a blue-green Tatooine to match with the orange of the sunset.

  • bassbait

    Just occurred to me how stupid the idea is of bringing in a *new sith lord* for this film.

    What they should do instead is present an enemy that’s more intellectually daunting, and less brute force/has the force.

    Personally I’d love to see a villain who is more political in nature (even though that was a disaster in the prequels, it could work with a good writer). A villain who insists that the immense powers that Jedi hold are a danger to the galaxy, and turns public opinion against Luke and Jedi Jr (because guaranteed Luke isn’t going to be the only Jedi in the new film) seeing as how those same powers led to the rise of the empire. In the foreground he’s a charismatic leader who has legitimate concerns, in the background he may be attempting to eradicate the Jedi, possibly even conspiring with former empire leaders who survived (because there’s no way the empire was completely destroyed by episode 6). And the character doesn’t even have to be a cartoon villain, he/she could have serious motivations that aren’t necessarily *evil* but are still morally ambiguous even to the character themselves.

    Sorry, here I am writing a better story in my head than whatever bullshit they’re gonna come up with. Don’t mind me.

  • Palpatine

    Well according to Abrams, Kylo Ren isn’t a Sith Lord.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    How ’bout this. You shut your mouth. Or I’ll kick your teeth down your throat and I’ll shut it for you.

  • Palpatine

    That’s the dumbest theory I’ve ever read in my life.

  • bassbait

    Kylo is gonna end up being Luke huh. Luke being a villain is dumb, but I think Mark Hamill being a villain is a great idea, especially given his voice acting. Maybe it’ll work. Maybe my stool won’t be dark.

  • Like Icare

    Fall of the Empire and the Emperor WOULD leave a vacuum of power – and all Rebels have are old space-junkers and a few blasters.
    No way they would be able to confront a single imperial governor – let alone one who would take over a large part of the empire and its production capabilities.

    And that’s not counting the possibility of it becoming a free for all for hundreds of fractions… You know… Like Syria.

    Funny thing is I could bet that they will ham-fist some kind of contemporary political and social commentary in there, which has no place in such a fairy tale universe.
    Some shit about minorities… or “gender”… or economy… or KONY2012.

  • Palpatine

    It’ll be like poetry.

  • Palpatine

    There’s no way a 60 year old man can have the reflexes of 30 year old one.

  • bassbait

    that didn’t stop Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Or Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith for that matter.

  • bassbait

    So you’re saying Donald Trump shouldn’t play the new sith lord?

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    I think it should be about a cyber threat. You, know, with the villain being a super smart (gay) hacker and shit.

  • Cynical Optimist

    We can only hope.

  • bassbait

    He’ll be played by Timothy Olyphant.

  • Like Icare

    Dark stool has many explanations.
    White stool on the other hand…
    That tends to be either your gallbladder or pancreas checking out either from stones (gallbladder) or cancer.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Was that really a reference?

  • Like Icare

    Space-medicine. It does wonders for your sex-life too.

  • Like Icare

    According to Jar Jar, Cucumber was not Khan.

  • Cynical Optimist

    Swordfish 2 anyone?

  • Niccageshair

    I know I saw it in theaters. Those were the two biggest laughs I had because they are so fucking crazy.

  • Niccageshair

    Oscar? Why stop there? Nobel Peace Prize, Hugo Award, that Mark Twain journalism one, give him all the awards.

  • Niccageshair

    Anytime you are combining letters arbitrarily picked from words, it’s a shitty theory.

  • Like Icare

    Play?

  • Like Icare

    Nope. I’m full. Thanks.

  • pizzaroll_bunny

    I think they did that in the books. They had the remnants of the empire controlled by the top admiral who was a strategic genius. He then somehow got his hands on an insane jedi master who was created in the clone wars blah blah.

    Of course this was all written before the prequels, so certain elements would have to be retconned, but yeah, much better than a darth vader wannabe.

  • Like Icare

    I once said “I think I may be bleeding from my asshole.”
    That must mean that I am secretly Batman. So secretly that even I don’t know it.

  • Like Icare

    Speaking of half-Jews… It’s Carrie Fisher’s birthday.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZ425RKCqco

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Remember that time when Christopher Nolan said he’d never do a Batman movie with Robin in it and Christian Bale vowed he’d stop doing these films the second Robin showed up? Yeah filmmakers are real honest people ya’know?

  • Commander X

    Certainly not his body acting recently. Sure he’s slimmed down a bit but these days Hamill sort of resembles a slimmer Slavoj Zizek.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    But the one in TDKR was only the first Robin.

  • bassbait

    I think he’s aged gracefully for a man who was mauled by Carrie Fisher.

  • Commander X

    Then there was this subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsLeaks/

    About a month ago, somebody started a thread there completely freaking out about how STAR WARS FANS DESERVE MORE TRAILERS!
    Carrying on about how THE FANS make Star Wars what it is, so they owe it to “us” to give “us” more trailers for this movie! Disney is disrespecting THE FANS by waiting SO LONG to release more footage. It was stunning how childish and entitled some of these people were getting over a trailer to a Star Wars movie. Many were even going so far as to say they would boycott the movie unless a trailer was released immediately.

  • Buk Pravon

    Okay. Hands up. Who else had the following song in his head, when the voice at the beginning of the Trailer asked “Who are you?”:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fu2VZhXMSX0

    Be honest. ò.ó

  • Buk Pravon

    I counted 8 lens flares. In the 2:36 min of the Trailer alone. The first at 0:50 (caused by engines), the second at 1:26 (sun), the third at 1:42 (some blue light), the fourth at 1:43 (reflection on helmet), the fifth at 1:52 (reflection on stormtroopers knee), the sixth at 1:53 (big blue light), the seventh at 1:55 (lightsaber) and the eigth at 1:58 (lightsaber again).

    I’m sure I’ve overlooked some. -.-

  • Palpatine

    I think that was a not so subtle wink-wink to the audience

  • Palpatine

    I didn’t see that movie, so I don’t care.

  • Palpatine

    I kind of want to read the Thrwan Trilogy as it’s so called.

  • Palpatine

    Nah, that’ll be too similar to Jurassic Park.

  • It was my honest opinion. The only thing that saved Fallout 3 were mods that made it playable. The story and the world was utter shit, unfortunately and no amount of modding could fix that. Just like with most Bethesda games.

  • tOmy`

    Thrawn rocked. It was the bad guy we deserved.

  • Nope.

  • But he said his name was Khan for no reason other than to say that.

  • He doesn’t have his lisp, thankfully.

  • Stop by your Space-Mexican doctor. http://i.imgur.com/cV8UsMB.jpg

  • Spoken like a true human bean.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I just got back from Jaws 19 and boy was it awful. It was shockingly worse than Jaws 18.

  • TapewormBike

    Readin’ comics, are ya? Dork.

  • Where’s your hoverboard?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Some asshole stole it.

  • TapewormBike

    I still haven’t actually watched the trailer. It’s shit though.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Based on the trailer views and the time of year it’s being released it is possible for Star Wars and Batman v Superman: Destroying the Audience to make the same out of money.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This is for Jaws 19, right?

  • TapewormBike

    Uhhhh, actually it’s Jaws 19D.

  • At least it’s not Pirahna 43DD.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jaws 13D

  • TapewormBike

    It’s all about how big the D can get.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Can you believe Jaws 8 was marketed as Jaws B for Boobs in Europe?

  • TapewormBike

    Just proves that marketing people don’t know anything. Europe is completely gay.

  • tOmy`

    So what, dscw, are we the UFO in Fargo? Is UFO the real bad guy?

  • TapewormBike

    You’re just gonna make me watch everything in the end, don’t you.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jaws 19 referenced Fargo a lot for some reason.

  • Oldtimer

    This video is broken from time code 2:05. Neither sound nor image from that point.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    if you’re talking about the final scene I’m just gonna write that one down as a creative way of showing that our main characters are out of their element as in… being alienated. GET IT?

    This article breaks down the final scene really in-depth:

    http://www.vox.com/2015/10/20/9572933/fargo-episode-2-recap

    Spoilers for anyone who doesn’t watch Fargo Season 2 obviously.

  • Good one.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    better get on that shit ASAP boi

  • tOmy`

    So you are saying that UFO is not the bad guy? So why wasn’t it on poster?

  • TapewormBike

    I would like to keep (pretending to) live my life, though.

  • tOmy`

    You are doing a good job. During your Mr. Robot experience, I already finished 3 seasons of US The Office.

  • TapewormBike

    And you manage to drink more than once a year. You are the god of kinda doing stuff.

  • tOmy`

    Everyone should be played by Timothy Olyphant.

  • tOmy`

    Nothing says “work day” as much as 8 episodes of The Office followed by getting wasted on a punk concert.

    At the end of the day, the economy is to blame.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    thoughts? this is pretty much the best period of the show for me anyways. if you don’t like it now you may as well quit.

  • TapewormBike

    Bloody catapultism.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Life is but an illusion. Embrace escapism as your lord and savior.

  • TapewormBike

    That’s what I keep yelling at my bank account.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s as close to Mike’s vision of cinema’s history as possible

  • tOmy`

    I was actually quite surprised how great it was. I only saw the UK version before and the US one seems to be on par, if not even better.

    But I am quite afraid that almost every PC-situation / joke and all the beats of the show are already pretty much predictable at this point. You can sorta guess what is going to happen just by reading the title of the episode. The only aspect I still find very heart-warming is Pam & Jim.

    And Toby. I want my personal Toby.

  • TapewormBike

    The Citizen Kane of….this

  • bruce wayne

    Bravo! When you know you cannot top Rich Evans wanking a droid, why even bother. Well played RLM, well played.

  • tOmy`

    How can you laugh when they are in so much pain?!

    SHE DIDN’T EVEN REMEMBER LOVING HIM!!! Heartless prick.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Pam&Jim relationship is one of the reasons why I love the older seasons so much. They don’t deliver constant humor like various other relantionships throughout the show but they gave it a real heart to the show. It’s very relatable and real in a show where the zaniness can only go up with each season. I’m not gonna spoil anything but I think it’s a real shame with how they handled those two in latter seasons. It was downright perfect in S1-S3.

  • Like Icare

    I know! What a TWIST!

  • Like Icare

    They cure death by massive amounts of radiation by the way of magic blood.

  • tOmy`

    At this point, I am not sure if I am really gonna keep on watching. I think I will check out few episodes from S4 and see if there is a reason for continuing. As I said, I feel that it all became a bit too predictable (not unfunny, just predictable) and it somehow feels like I am watching by-the-book bucketlist of things that need to happen in this particular episode.

    I still have few more shows on my to-do list (namely Constantine, American Horror Story and Hannibal) and comedy shows are usually one of those I sorta give up on during further episodes. I didn’t even finish Parks & Rec, Community felt like a chore and I stopped giving fuck about Modern Family somewhere in the middle.

  • tOmy`

    It’s just like democracy. It gets in the way of drinking and taking drugs.

  • Like Icare

    Space Mexicans don’t take up much space. It’s probably genetic engineering to save on fuel costs.

    #gravityWellShaming

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Tell me, do you bleed?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    season 4 is worth a watch just for Dinner Party-an episode that many people name as the best one in the entire run of the show.Like I said before I don’t think it becomes straight up bad till like final season or season 8 at least. in terms of predictability it goes into some wild directions at least plot wise during later seasons. But to be honest I also give up on comedy shows more often then not.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    AND A REAL HEROOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s not that it is broken, it’s that they were already recording by mistake, so mike pressing the record button again effectively paused it. They need to double check stuff like that.

  • Palpatine

    Ha ha ha, you’re funny!

  • Palpatine

    Do you think he’s going to say that in the movie?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It could be for the trailer. Doesn’t fit Batman especially the Batman they established in the second trailer.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Palpy, I think you’re right. The Force Awakens has a high chance of beating Avatar, IF it is a great movie.

  • Thank you for being the iconoclasts of geekdom.

  • My ex wife

    She has been drinking too much Kanar, maybe it swells the lymph nodes?

  • Palpatine

    Avatar wasn’t a great movie, and it still made money.

  • My ex wife

    Ah Palpy. Infamous is when you’re more than famous! This guy Plinkett is not just famous, he’s In-famous!

  • TapewormBike

    Indubitably

  • My ex wife

    When in Rome!

  • Palpatine

    I don’t know what that word means.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Dumb masses thought it was

  • TapewormBike

    “Assholes”. And I am being serious.

  • Palpatine

    I forgot everything in the second trailer.

  • Palpatine

    So Mike and Jay are the assholes of geekdom?

  • TapewormBike

    Now, would you disagree?

  • Palpatine

    Would saying “yes” bring about their wrath on me?

  • TapewormBike

    Not unless you write it on your penis and post the photo.

  • Palpatine

    Or unintentionally post the address of their studio. I’ll shut up now.

  • TapewormBike

    I’ll choose said shuting up as a signal to go to sleep.

  • Smegman

    Because the video was directed by Alan Smithee

  • Smegman

    I mean… George Lucas

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What happened to Rick McCallum after Disney bought Star Wars and every other thing LucasFilm related?

  • Palpatine

    I think he left LucasFilm.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That seems stupid to do considering The Force Awakens is projected to make $600,000,000 dollars worldwide on it’s opening weekend. I guess he was truly dense.

  • Red Skeleton

    Soooo… Tommy Wiseau wants to direct a new Fantastic Four movie.

    http://www.dailydot.com/geek/tommy-wiseau-fantastic-four-reboot-the-room/?utm_content=buffer65b35&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

    (Not old, I hope.)

    Anyway, raise your hand if you can’t bear to see the good cinematic name of The Fantastic Four tarnished by maverick director Tommy Wiseau.
    *Doesn’t raise hand.*

  • Red Skeleton

    Wasp: Hank got drunk last night, and he hit me!
    Wasp’s mother: Hank doesn’t drink! … That’s Tony!
    Hank Pym: It’s not true! It’s bullshit!!

    I’d buy THAT for a dollar.

  • Red Skeleton

    Peter Parker: I used to know a girl; she was dating a superhero. One of his enemies found out about it… dropped her off a building, and when he tried to save her he accidentally broke her neck.
    Tommy: HA HA HA, what a story, Peter!
    Peter: ;_;

  • Palpatine

    From what I’ve just read, Rick “retired” from Lucasfilm. He “retired” the day after Disney bought Lucasfilm.

  • Palpatine

    I’m probably the only person on here who hates Tommy Wiseau.

  • Red Skeleton

    Yep

  • Red Skeleton

    Tony: I feel like I’m sitting on an atomic bomb! …. I mean, besides the one in my chest…

  • Palpatine

    And I think The Room is so bad it’s overrated.

  • Red Skeleton

    You mean not bad enough to warrant its following, surely.

  • Palpatine

    No, I understand it’s following, I just think the hype around needs to die down at this point.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Kathleen Kennedy-Hey, did you challenge George, Rick?
    McCallum-Well no, you see it’s his way of making the best possible movie.
    Kennedy-You’re fired

  • Captain Turbo

    He’s sitting on a rocking chair somewhere, staring at a field of corn and saying over and over, “It’s so dense, it’s so dense, it’s so dense…”

  • So, YouTube is starting to segregate its audience further. They’ve introduced subscription fees for certain shows. The best part: they’re calling it YouTube Red.

  • RLMkeepitup

    was redtube taken?

  • Palpatine

    Either he retired in protest of the Disney buyout, or he and all the other Lucas yes-men were booted out of Disney for being yes-men.

  • Commander X

    Considering how far Rich Evans’ reaction to the first trailer went, maybe we should be glad they went to black.

  • Palpatine

    RedTube You sounds like it’ll be a live strip-cam thing.

  • Palpatine

    Obviously.

  • Palpatine

    Well it’s been over 24 hours since the video was posted, is it time to go off-topic?

  • Peter Gorman

    You are tearing me apart Palpatine!

  • Wolvy

    RIP Gene Hackman 1930-2016

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It could’ve been the later. But some of those yes-men you seen in the behind the scenes stuff have moved on to other things. Either they’re vital to ILM or Disney thinks they’re worth keeping. Like John Knoll.

  • bassbait

    I agree 100%. I laughed mildly a long time ago, but beyond that, nothing from The Room is remotely funny anymore.

    Not at all like the classic, Nukie, obviously.

  • Palpatine

    I honestly hope a new “so bad it’s good” movie gets released soon so people can start making fun of that for the next ten years.

  • Bubs

    What a great way to make money off of content creators, while having to do absolutely nothing themselves! It’s good to know that slavery is alive and well in the modern world.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey, they stole that from PornHub!

  • Palpatine

    Your favorite site!

  • Captain Turbo

    Not yet… wait… aaaaaand… NOW!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, my favorite site is non existant. I do not have one.

  • bassbait

    What was the last big one? Birdemic? Last big one I cared about was Battlefield Earth. Birdemic was alright. The thing is, The Room is *quotable* and quotability is pretty much the only important factor for cult status, which is why Birdemic isn’t as big of a deal, even though it’s a much worse film and more entertainingly bad at that.

  • Captain Turbo

    The Room is good. Good and terrible.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well it is a known fact Jurassic World’s gonna get it’s record’s ass smashed by The Force Awakens so yes.

  • Palpatine

    Um, Vice-President Joe Biden isn’t running for President.

  • Palpatine

    Not even this one?

  • Palpatine

    Most likely. And I enjoyed that film! Well, in a guilty pleasure kind of way.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, not even this one. It’s like saying what’s my favorite movie, I can’t answer.

  • Palpatine

    Blasphemy!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh no.

  • Palpatine

    What?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That means I might not like it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    space cop

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Daniel Craig is playing a Storm Trooper? Whhhhhhaaaaaaaaaattttt

  • Like Icare

    Remember that lady who “restored” that fresco and made an internet meme out of it?
    Yes. That.

  • tOmy`

    TFA is gonna beat everything and anything.

  • Palpatine

    Eh, that’s fine by me.

  • Palpatine

    Even Titanic?

  • Bubs

    Even his wife?

  • Strong_Bow

    Where did you read that at?

  • Strong_Bow

    RedHamsterTubeYouRightUpTheBrownHole

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Simon Pegg

  • Strong_Bow

    Stop reading the guardian; pretty soon your going to start saying things like, ‘reparations’, and ‘I’m sorry for everything’ and ‘I love indigenous people!’.

  • Like Icare

    Avatar is a perfectly OK movie. Nothing wrong with it for it to repel the audience.
    In comparison to… Phantom Menace, Prometheus and even John Carter.

    It is also a VERY GOOD action spectacle with a decent story that is not broken by plot holes.

    AND even if you find the story simple or lacking, there is world building which was never achieved before or since in a single movie.
    Tolkein invented languages – but not all that AND rabbits and pines and birds.
    And though he wrote a fantasy where planet Venus is a guy with really shiny jewelry flying in circles up in the sky, he still didn’t populate that world with floating mountains.

    And in Avatar there is even a plausible explanation for most things in that world.
    It does not become “A wizard did it” and “Muggles can’t jump and wizards can’t AK-47… or hire muggles who can” or “Umm yeah… Bad guy is basically Satan… only not really… more like a mini-Satan… cause real Satan who was his boss was put in prison… but he too is bad just because he’s bad… yeah…” as soon as you start scratching the surface of it.

    As a world building spectacle… there really is no other such film out there to compare it to.

    On top of that it was unique in the quality of 3D, kind of which was not seen before at the time and has rarely been seen since.
    People WILL pay for spectacle. Just ask Disney about all those stupid rides people keep paying Mouse Money for.

    On top of all that, marketing and audience awareness was HUGE and very well done.
    Just look at John Carter for the opposite of that – particularly cause it is almost the same movie. That nobody saw.

    It may not be a great movie as far as art of it goes, but as far as spectacle and world building…
    All of Star Wars movies combined are a cheap fairy tale and only Star Trek has a fictional universe that compares – created through decades and hundreds of episodes.
    But Trek still lacks in spectacle. Particularly the better parts of it, as Star Trek is distinctly NOT about spectacle.

    Avatar is 10 pages of story and a warehouse (or ten) of world + money + a “named” obsessive compulsive who knows his stuff in charge of it all.
    And that WILL make an exceptional movie – just ask Kubrick.

  • Like Icare

    So?
    Other than being interesting trivia to Craigslist fans… Who gives a fuck?
    Just like with the fact that Pegg is there playing one of Sarlacc’s balls or whatever.

    You know what it really needs?
    A Bill Murray, Eric Idle, John Cleese, Johnny Depp (as a pirate) and a Sting cameo.
    And there should be a scene in a galactic senate where we see Mr. Bean in one of the seats.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N55FcGYwPqM&feature=youtu.be&t=196

    That would make it beat Tittanic for sure!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But Daniel Craig should be some badass. Not an idiot who can’t anything but the top of a ceiling with his head. By the way that Storm Trooper had a concussion.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Too bad, I was looking forward to the ensuing toy sex orgy…

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I disagree.

    Mike, Jay, Rich, AND Jack all wanking droids simultaneously in an outrageous droid orgy? They really lost out on an amazing opportunity here.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    You don’t really know that it doesn’t fit THIS Batman…this Batman is literally branding his foes with a bat-shaped iron, apparently…that’s the kind of grittiness today’s audiences demand from Batman, I guess. None of that whimsical stuff we saw in The Dark Knight like merely dropping people off of balconies so their legs break as a form of torture…

  • Palpatine

    We all were.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I hope somebody was fired for that blunder!

  • TheVerySpecialK

    What if the reason Luke isn’t standing with Han and Leia and Marketable Ball-Droid® is that… “he” is now a she? TRANSGENDER SITH LUKE CONFIRMED!

  • Palpatine

    Call me Lana.

  • Crixxxx

    Then Jurassic World should learn how to become a teenage ninja.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’m just curious if Han will still call him/her kid 30 years later

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Don’t get cocky kid! Wait, that’s not going to work anymore…

  • Reshy Poo

    Hey not sure if its me or the video, but it cuts out a couple of minutes in.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Does that mean he co-directed Jupiter Ascending?! OH NOOOOOO

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m still waiting on your Lenny the Wonder Dog review

  • empathylouis

    My favorite movie is space cop!

  • Palpatine

    It’s you.

  • Palpatine

    It’ll be out Tuesday.

  • Palpatine

    Okay, serious question: what do you guys think will happen after George Lucas dies?

  • CalamityCorp

    Oscar Isaac as Fartman

    Now, this needs to be seen!

  • CalamityCorp

    Dirtbike races at Skywalker Ranch.

  • CalamityCorp

    I’m Rich as Evans! Or at least I wish I was.

  • Blood Debt

    They’ll burn him on a funeral pyre, and then 50 years later some hack will steal his horribly burned face, say “I will finish what you started,” and then create a Jar-Jar origins trilogy.

  • Palpatine

    I’ll be there, you?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Race ya to the treehouse! I bet I can make it in less than 12 parsecs.

  • Palpatine

    Remember, no gurlz aloud!

  • Niccageshair

    I wouldn’t mind an Eric Idle song or two.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9PiqCeLEmM

  • Michael Collins

    He’s already dead to me.

  • Niccageshair

    He was executed on the spot.

  • Niccageshair

    And on cue, the Cubs get swept. Nice try Back to the Future but nothing can make that team win.

  • Michael Collins

    tOmy, you’re a good guy and I don’t want to be negative, so I’m gonna give it another go when my mind is right…

    Cheers

  • Michael Collins

    I read an interesting article the other day saying the prequels didn’t fuck up star wars, Return of the Jedi did, which is true…in fact, the prequels are exactly where Jedi left off..

    Oh, the nostalgia!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Who the hell is George Lucas?

  • Thanatos2k

    The Phantom Menace review effectively used footage from the later movies to make points. A Plinkett review for episode 7 can’t happen until at least episode 9 comes out….

  • bloodstock pussyclarts

    more like goerg luke ASS

  • Thanatos2k

    Good call with the Mikemobile.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    His funeral.

  • Thanatos2k

    At least there wasn’t a gunshot.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “if it weren’t for those meddling RLM kids…”

  • Snake Squeezer

    star what?

  • Michael Collins

    thingy

  • Tenacious B

    I dunno. I’m pretty sure one of the prequel fan boys will dig up his grave and fuck his corps

  • Tenacious B

    ha!

  • Snake Squeezer

    star thingy?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    He will become a ghost You know when he is around because of the lingering smell of flannel and BO.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its working here. it might be a copyright thing.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Xhamster is better.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yes.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    circle droid jerk.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They just fixed it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    they were novels. you philistine!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its worth it. in my opinion.

  • Buk Pravon

    Unbelievable. -.-

  • Bubs

    So I just finished Compendium 3 of The Walking Dead comic book (which may be the most entertaining comic ever written). I’ve been a watcher of the show for a few years. It’s not the best show in the world, but it was always fairly entertaining. After reading the comics, Season 6 of the show has really left a bad taste in my mouth, because it just pails in comparison by any standard of measurement.

    But then, I came across an article where a producer of the show said: “I don’t think people will tune in. They’ll tune in for an exciting horror show, but they’re not going to tune in for a very, very bleak thing.”

    And it dawned on me, My God. The people making this show have absolutely no fucking clue what The Walking Dead is about.

  • I didn’t make this, but I’ll just leave this here. i.imgur.com/4QAXz5ah.jpg

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Watch Mr Robot instead.

  • Michael Collins

    Zombies

  • Wendy Paul

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    http://www.listscoop.nut.cc
    &rf

  • Just use your imagination. m.youtube.com/watch?v=DcdySQPJgTA

  • Bubs

    Are you going to post that on EVERY spam comment? It’s getting embarrassing.

  • Doesn’t the writer of the comic book actively participate in writing the show?

  • Gyorgy Lukacs.

  • Bubs

    I don’t think he writes for the show. I think he just sits in on production meetings and says “Yeah that sounds good. No, that sounds bad.”

  • Bubs

    If you would just teach him how to cheat death like you promised in Episode 3 we wouldn’t have to worry about that. “To cheat death is a power that only one has achieved.” You fuckin’ cocktease.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    OK the new ‘Alien’ Movie is a go and shooting in Australia next year. I hope we do a better job on that than we did on the Prequels… We are still really sorry about that.

  • Earth

    For a time.

  • Domo

    Is book 3 worth getting if you were happy with the ending for book 2? Is the story worth the continuation?

  • Earth

    I’ve noticed in the trailers they only ever say “Jedi” and “The Dark Side”. I’m not sure they’ve ever said “Tshi” yet.

    If they’ve retconned the dumb Sith concept I will be happy.

  • Bubs

    I think we all like to imagine that with the ending of Book 2, Rick and everyone lived happily ever after. But, we all know the World of the Walking Dead simply won’t abide that. If you’re a fan of dark humor at all, the character of Negan simply cannot be missed. If the $35 I spent on the book had resulted in only 40 pages of story, all of them about Negan, I would’ve considered it money well spent, that’s how awesome I think he is. (If you’ve managed to avoid any spoilers regarding him, you’re incredibly lucky.)

    So short answer, yes. I think Book 3 is the best of the lot. I simply couldn’t put it down.

  • instant relief

    I’d welcome some cooking of the duck meat on Tatooine tho.

  • instant relief

    The prequels were shot all over the globe. So, it’s not entirely your fault. <3
    Still worse than causing the holocaust tho!

  • instant relief

    This needs to be a thing!

  • instant relief

    Space Cop?

  • tOmy`

    A Sith lord you say?

  • tOmy`

    I think someone should say this:
    Star Wars franchise: 6 movies, 3 of them horrible
    Fast and Furious franchise: 7 movies, all of them classics

    No wonder Vin Disel announced 8th installment and 3 more to come. 3 more. So yea, buy your stupid Jedi merch, consumers, because the rest of us ride or die.

  • Like Icare

    No. Daniel Craig should play sniveling and incompetent bad guys – like in Road to Perdition.
    I don’t mind the guy or his acting but let’s face it – he has a face of a toothless gutter bum.

    As for Star Wars…
    Biggest star in the original was Alec Guinness and his job was to get killed.
    You’re not supposed to go “Oh, it’s that guy from…” while watching Star Wars.
    You are watching a fairy tale and those are not actors but characters – otherwise we get the Mace Vindaloo problem again.

    SW actors should be good but relatively unknown for it all to have verisimilitude.
    There should be no cameos for buddies and palls and fat directors.
    It ain’t a comedy nor a Hitchcock movie.
    It’s a fairy tale, which must feel like it is a SciFi movie for it all to work.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No Upvote for you. BAD tOmy!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I saw a Sith Lord once…. SAWED HIM IN HALF!!!
    BADUM-TISH!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah… but we did the green screen stuff. in our defense ILM made the shit looking shit that went over it.

  • Like Icare

    Badum-TSHI!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    tOmy I cant get this song out of my head… and neither of us can talk about why…. but this is my new happy place.

    https://youtu.be/faG8RiaANek

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Ooooh, Rimshit*

  • dollar store cashier wife

    even as a joke that statement hurt my soul deeply.

  • instant relief

    Everybody was just glad to be working. Ja, ja!

  • tOmy`

    Addition of Alabama Shakes made a lot of people happy in comment sections. It’s a great thing to see that bands like this get their recognition.

  • tOmy`

    You see, the key here was to set the bar so fucking low that it sorta just makes sense to keep making these movies to see when they reach the potential of an actual movie.

    I expect that to happen within two new installments. Vin Diesel most likely knows it as well, but he kept the margin of error in mind, thus preparing 4 of them.

    He is brilliant.

  • Michael Collins

    Just watched Ex Machina, best SF movie I’ve seen in ages..

    Thanks for reading.

  • tOmy`

    Thanks for telling us.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Sicario was better.

  • Michael Collins

    It might be the SF part that threw me, but now I want to see that one also..

  • Michael Collins

    you know it.

  • Michael Collins

    “3 of them horrible”

    Am I right in thinking you mean 4 of them horrible?

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Return isn’t nearly as bad as you make it out to be. It may not be on par with Star Wars and Empire, but it still has some of the best scenes in the trilogy.

  • Michael Collins

    Fuck off, the film is pure shit, with some good scenes..

  • TheManHole

    Are we counting that 90min video game cut scene as a movie?

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Fine, no need to be rude about it.

  • tOmy`

    I am confident that at some point of the franchise they will finally introduce plot.

    Granted, it will most likely be a car, but still.

  • Michael Collins

    I find bad movies, and those who defend them to be the height of rudeness, that’s why we get such shit as prometheus.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Well, I do have an asshole, and so do you.

  • Michael Collins

    Plato sums up opinions quite well, you should read him.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    is this gonna be your recurring gag?

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Possibly. Partly because I want more people to see it. And have I mentioned that RLM should talk about it sometime?

  • instant relief

    I prefer my recurring gags during blowjobs.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Sadly it’s doesn’t get a theatrical release in my neck of the woods till next month. I can’t wait to see it myself-Villeneuve is a fantastic director.

  • TheManHole

    Cars going Fast – Guy is a cop his car goes fast at the end he gives away a fast car

    2Fast2Cars – Two guys work for a guy driving a car fast

    Fast Cars in Tokyo – Series drifts to obscurity

    Cars going fast…Again – The old cast needs a paycheck so they do a soft reboot.

    Fast Five – Abandon the street racing movie idea to make heist movie that uses cars to steal stuff and then go fast

    Cars going Fast 6 – Another heist movie because that worked last time

    Cars going Fast 7 – Paul Walker dies by driving a car too fast.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Ah, well you really should. I also watched Enemy awhile ago. Unfortunately I wasn’t as impressed. The characters were unbelievable at parts and the motivations for some actions were kind of weak. The history teacher seemed like a fairly normal fellow and I don’t see a normal fellow obsessively tracking down a person who happens to look similar to you.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Enemy is probably his weakest film though it’s still not bad. Incendies&Polytechnique are tied for my favorite work of his.

  • Brazzers.

  • Palpatine

    Would that someone happen to be from the Czech Republic?

  • TheVerySpecialK

    The 8th installment is already out, and it’s great! It’s set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and Paul Walker’s character is portrayed by Tom Hardy. Vin Diesel isn’t actually in the film, but his larger-than-life persona is represented by thousands of bald war boys! Fast and Furiosa!

  • RLMkeepitup

    Watching Wes Craven’s New Nightmare on syfy. They played the kurlan naiskos sound 3 times in the same scene. That is scary.

  • Palpatine

    I watched that the other day. Definitely one of the better sequels in that series.

  • tOmy`

    But in the end, it was all about family.

  • tOmy`

    I think Czech Republic should start producing The Office-like tv show about our postal service. Every minute there is an experience.

  • tOmy`

    I think the most baffling thing is tho that this franchise has one of the most convoluted plots ever.

    I think it is accidental, but hey. I was trying to explain the plot to my friends as we were about to watch Fast 7 and gave up after 15 minutes. It is just so dense.

  • TheManHole

    It’s because they have transitioned into self parody. The action has got so unrealistic and the plot what plot half way though the franchise they deiced to just abandon the street racing element, They can’t even count right the order is 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 3, 7.

  • RLMkeepitup

    It’s very meta in a fun way

  • tOmy`

    I still think they managed to wrap it all up in the last movie quite perfectly. It reeks of “making shit up as we go along” but at least they pulled it off. It sorta does make sense… you know, in F&F universe.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    so it’s just like JJ’s Star Trek. masterpiece confirmed.

  • TheManHole

    Seven movies thirteen hours longest corona commercial ever!

  • NotRickBerman

    Wasn’t me.

  • tOmy`

    I think the addition of Corona to the last movie was just for the “fuck yea!” element. It just needs to be there or the movie would fall apart. It’s just borderline fanservice by now.

    Same as the moment Paul Walker finally puts on his FBI jacket and starts up a car and all you see are the oval backlights of Skyline. That scene made me pee from excitement.

  • TheManHole

    Corona is the real main character? Which makes sense I would have a beer be the main focus of my driving movie too, since we all know how well alcohol and driving fast go hand and hand.

  • instant relief

    Get fried!

  • tOmy`

    I think the difference is that JJ wanted to make something really good. The F&F crew (I refuse to believe that this franchise has a director) just wanted to make a movie.

  • tOmy`

    As a Czech Person, I can guarantee you that you can down 8 coronas and still be able to casually drift through city center.

    It’s just a piss.

  • Like Icare

    Sicario is a very solid movie but a bit of a right-ish fairy tale where solution for social problems is “more gun”.

  • Palpatine
  • TapewormBike

    As a pussy Czech person who can’t drive, I still agree.

  • TheManHole

    Where do you find this crap?

  • Strong_Bow

    Oh god, all that stuff has turned us into sad, sad people.

  • Palpatine

    YouTube, duh.

  • TapewormBike

    Well, I do happen to spend a lot of time in, since, you know, they don’t bring the post to you and rather pretend you weren’t home.

  • Strong_Bow

    If we had one in the U.S., season finales would be an abrupt shooting and incarceration process (sort of like a real TrailerPark Boys).

  • TapewormBike

    Let’s be fair though, that could be a season finale for most U.S based shows.

  • TheManHole

    Yeah but some random scrub with less then 100 subscribers with some poorly edit video trying explain why RLM is all wrong and he is right. I don’t really see that being front page Youtube material. Did you just type in Butthurt fanboy and that came up?

  • Strong_Bow

    That’s true; that or a boss fight.

  • Palpatine

    I typed “redlettermedia” and that eventually came up.

  • RLMkeepitup

    still impressed with the asteroid field chase of the falcon and the swampy dagobah set. its all cgi inserts now

  • TheManHole

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i909Rm4NQN8&feature=youtu.be All your favorite parts from episode one.

  • tOmy`

    But… but why?

  • Palpatine

    Because I love exposing these idiots to you guys.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes, spread the word and the glorious truth of assholes.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I think his “corps” are already fucked..

  • tOmy`

    So it’s October 23rd and the hype around TFA is borderline unbearable. I get it, it is a trending topic and this is how internet works, but for the love of Rich Evans it is getting way too much. And it’s not even December yet. Or, you know… nobody seen the movie yet. Can you imagine internet / adverts / pages after the freaking movie?

    Ugh. I am one more Pokemon-DragonbalZ-TFA poster mashup away from uninstalling internet and throwing my router into the abyss.

    (I will allow this behavior when the Justified spin-off gets announced.)

  • tOmy`

    Also it appears to be October 22nd. So it’s even worse.

  • Palpatine

    And there’s anything you can’t stand, it’s on topic things.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    The only casting choice I like besides the original crew is Max Von Sydow. There are too many stars in this upcoming SW movie.

  • bassbait

    Have you ever read the 108 page response to the Phantom Menace review? I tried. I made it one page in.

  • bassbait

    it’d certainly make American Idol more watchable.

  • RLMkeepitup

    his acting isn’t the best but it would be less distracting if everyone else wasn’t very sterile or cgi inserts in those scenes.

  • Palpatine

    I couldn’t bring myself to read it.

  • tOmy`

    Hey, I don’t mind being on topic or discussing the most anticipated movie since like… fucking ever, but I don’t think I can find a single page that doesn’t feature some Star Wars stuff.

    I am glad that AV Club still keeps their shit together, but by now, there are even Czech commercials with a Star Wars theme to them.

  • bassbait

    Trying to read it is about as hard as trying to read a George Lucas script.

    Hey wait a minute…

  • Palpatine

    I’m trying not to get hyped for it, because if it ends up being like The Phantom Menace, then I’ll be disappointed as hell.

  • bassbait

    pure shit AND some good scenes?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    This is just the beginning. It will get much worse…

  • Strong_Bow

    I was going to correct you; but you realized your mistake before I could be a dick.

  • tOmy`

    I don’t think it is bad to look forward to it or even being hyped. Hey, I am stoked for the movie, even tough I am pretty sure it’s not gonna be anything groundbreaking. I want new Star Wars just as much as another cheerleader.

    But there is a difference between: “Hey! That’s great! I am looking forward to it!” and “OMG OMG STAR WARS WHAT ABOUT MY LITTLE PONY MASHUP WOULDN’T THAT BE THE BEST EVER LOL #IAMONEWITHFORCE”

    I would understand this much more before the 8th one, after knowing that the first one was amazing and promised us something brilliant to come.

  • bassbait

    Return is aimless but it’s still a classic. I feel like that movie started the trend of Lucas thinking that if he just smashed a bunch of moments together, they would make sense as a script. It’s not very coherent but it’s far better than the prequels because at least *some* of the individual moments work. Personally I liked the ewoks and all of the scenes on endor, so really all it boils down to is it should have been tied together better, but the individual parts still work. Prequels are just shit sauce though.

  • tOmy`

    I guess it all boils down to:

    I am looking forward to the movie itself. Internet is apparently looking forward to the lighswords and the bad guy being in black. With the red sword. In snow. Cuz it looks like Game of Thrones.

  • bassbait

    on the one hand, JJ Abrams has made things a lot better than the prequels. On the other, he made Star Trek: Into Darkness… recently…

  • Palpatine

    I’m with you.

  • TapewormBike

    Nerd!

  • tOmy`

    I am all up for geeking the shit up during midnight premier, applaud and then grab few drinks afterwards to have a discussion about how fucking bad it was.

    But this is way too soon.

  • RLMkeepitup

    there’s almost nothing in the trailer we haven’t seen before. they played it very safe in that regard. nothing to engage the hype-rdrive over

  • bassbait

    Fast and Furious has nothing on Godzilla.

  • tOmy`

    Exactly.

    I think I actually liked only one part of the trailer – that Indiana Jones opening with the Hunger Games chick descending into the crashed Starkiller Obliterator.

    Rest was just lukewarm iPoding for me. The first one had at least some fan pandering to make me say “Yay.”

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    It won’t Palpy. The reason is that there are more 12″ action figures for Force Awakens than for The Phantom Menace.
    Just look around you Palps…

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    In other words you liked the CGI the best…

  • tOmy`

    It has Rock. Rock has anything on Godzilla.

    If there is a single person ready to take down Godzilla it’s Rock. He would strap a warhead on his back, jumped from the airplane in the car, land on a train to gain speed (physics.) and then use a totally random ramp to jump into it’s mouth, obliterating that lizard Fukushima style.

    And he would still be on time for the dinner with his daughter. She graduated art school. He is a proud father. He doesn’t wanna be absent anymore.

  • tOmy`

    I think it was a cool shot and got me interested.

    Rest was Star Wars. We all seen Star Wars already. Six times.

  • Like Icare

    I don’t know. Kids are not really stars. At best they are “recognizable”.

    Phantom Menace had a much larger problem there – primarily because of SLJ, Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor.
    Natalie Portman was still a kid, her biggest role still being that of Mathilda in Leon – and that “covered in hot grits, naked and petrified” meme.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I’m just amused that your favorite part (and mine) was the CGI stuff. With all of the hullabaloo about there being so many practical effects and what-not. The irony is inescapable…

  • TapewormBike

    It’s years away in Internet time. But it’s a topic that was made for Internet freaking out, so that’s to be expected. I honestly don’t feel much hype, because I don’t go to much places where I would. Besides this den, where we mostly talk about how hype can get to fuck.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well here in the US of A fucking Christmas starts right after Halloween…fuck…

  • TapewormBike

    We had Christmas stuff in shops by the end of August.

  • RLMkeepitup

    we’ve also seen JJ reboot a franchise so we know it will be a good watch. the interesting part will be what ideas are brought to screen. the skywalker story and past characters will hopefully not be centerfold but I’m kinda avoiding reading about it until I see it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Somewhere Rick McCallum is sitting in his house in Prague, looking at the box office predictions for The Force Awakens, and is thinking “I was so dense”

  • TapewormBike

    Well I can pop in and check.

  • Like Icare

    IMHO, the level of hype is comparably less than it was back at the Summer of Phantom Menace.
    Or it could be that I am living in a more of a self-imposed Faraday cage/bubble than back then? Or that I simply don’t care that much nowadays.

    I mean… I was REALLY looking forward to the prequels back then.

    I was also a lot younger and dumber.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “I removed my nostalgia goggles a long time ago…” LIAR

  • RLMkeepitup

    3 aweful movies in a row and still the tickets sellout. he’s probably thinking someone else is dense? haha

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well, I’m a huge Simon Peg fan, but he’s bugging me now because first he was like, “I’ll play the role of Scotty for free cause I want to be in the new Star Trek movies so bad!”.
    Now he’s in the new SWs movie along with Cumberbun and others. I’m just a little less of a fan now. 🙁
    I also don’t like the same people making Star Trek and Star Wars, it just seems wrong to me…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This person delete my comments on his one of his stupid, horribly edited, and poorly constructed videos. He must look up to that Anita lady.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’s gonna be great.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Poop in?

  • TapewormBike

    I mean, I had dinner already…

  • Like Icare

    It just dawned on me that this may be the first time that Fuck You It’s January will have to be canceled due to it being pushed out by the FUCK YOU – IT’S STAR WARS event which will carry over into January.

    Is nothing sacred anymore?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well hold on there is a positive here. A Michael Bay film is coming out in January, if Star Wars has legs which it will that will be a Michael Bay film could bomb.

  • Like Icare

    There is no “seems”. It is wrong.

    It’s like if your dentist was also a hairdresser and a gym with a juice bar.
    And the same guy was working the drill, the mixer and the scissors.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the fact that they took the time to delete your comment of their critique of rlm is funny irony

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What film is Zombi 2 is a sequel to?

  • Like Icare

    As for Pegg…

    I lost all respect or sympathy for him for those comments aimed at Star Trek fans.
    Now he’s just another needy salesman of personal image.

  • TheManHole

    “A movie that when it comes out we will forget about in a week. Look its already on Blu Ray!”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Dude, this is nothing, I mean absolutely nothing compared to the hype surrounding The Phantom Menace when it came out. You think this unbearable or the hype for Zack Snyder destroying the audience fest is annoying? Dude holy shit that’s nothing compared to The Phantom Menace.

  • RLMkeepitup

    isn’t that the one where the zombie fights a shark

  • tOmy`

    Insidious: Chapter 1

  • TapewormBike

    Zombi was what Dawn of the Dead was shown like in Italy, I think. Fulci kinda just, you know, used that.

  • tOmy`

    I think it because that part “told a story”. And I know I am going too far just by saying this, but hey.

    It was the only part of the trailer when I thought: “Why? What is she up to? What is she going to find?” etc. At least something intriguing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Insidious: The Prequel

  • tOmy`

    I am too sexy to remember that.

  • TheManHole

    Casablanca?

  • TapewormBike

    Just to brighten your day if youghet here, Domo, the IcyHot thing happened again.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of forgettable stuff: I saw a gif today from that movie where Hugh Jackman robot wresting something something.

    I vaguely remember liking the movie. I don’t even remember what was it called anymore. Oh, Hollywood, you did it again!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Like Fat Bastard sexy?

  • TapewormBike

    The version with Myra Binglebat and Peter Beardsley cannot be made better.

  • TapewormBike

    Real Steel, yeah. It was actually good.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s the ending to Tomorrowland.

  • TheManHole

    Rockem Sockem robots?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If Electronic Arts fucks up this new Star Wars game what will Disney do?

  • TapewormBike

    Be happy that it still sells loads.

  • tOmy`

    Cash in.

    Noone fucks up SW games. They always miraculously work out, even when they are crap.

  • TheManHole
  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Battlefront is already a success, it’s very good. I will buy it someday when it’s cheaper..

  • tOmy`

    So I am gonna be needing to pick some optional classes soon. Any clues what useless shit should I take this time around?

    I already did viniculture, gastronomical technology and studied art for a better part of my life.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Fuck everything..

  • TapewormBike

    Cockology

  • tOmy`

    That was covered in gastronomical technology.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I went to the International convention when it was in Denver. I brought some renderings of a robot I was working on, but I had to stop showing it to people because they would ask me if I worked on the film and saying no to some people was weirdly heartbreaking for them..
    But yeah I was younger and dumber…

  • TapewormBike

    Well, you can always go deeper and take up Dickatomy.

    Dunno, do you gyus ahave anything as cool as “Anthropology of Comics” out here? Or try some psychology stuff, if you pick like the evolutionary psych class it is actually interesting.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well the CGI technology was in it’s middling state back then, it’s much more mature now..

  • TheManHole

    Underwater basket weaving 101.

    Edit fixed it.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Jew Hackman?

  • TapewormBike

    Pfft, 101 that. Under Ice is way better.

  • Palpatine

    Auto-shop.

  • Like Icare

    Have you seen the trailer for that?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CJBuUwd0Os

    It’s titled like a Hitler Channel special, clearly badly written and boy is it full of inappropriate Michael Bay signature images of children frolicking idyllically and also quite inappropriate over the top action for a movie based on real life events.
    AND it glorifies private contractors as heroes.

    It’s flopping one way or another, it’s just the question if Bay will be hit with backlash from… well… everyone.
    Particularly in the light of the whole “scandal” becoming an almost Watergate-like “lets make Democrats (i.e. Hillary) look bad with this” deal for Republicans – by their own words.

    Bonus points for the fact that it apparently has zero black actors in it – while being scheduled for a MLK weekend release.
    Along with this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfcWoUksWe8

    Bay may need to be put on a suicide watch.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Philosophy, but make sure the professor knows his/her shit.

  • Like Icare
  • Palpatine

    Revive Lucasarts.

  • Niccageshair

    Count the money anyway.

  • Niccageshair

    Show him some respect. He is THE Rock.

  • Peyton Paulette
  • Like Icare

    Quite.

  • Xbox One? What is that? Is it like an older Play Station? Ahahahahaa. While you are laughing at my joke let me tell you that no one cares. All we want is a reboot of the best game ever, Shatterhand. It’s the game we all want and need and crave for.

  • RLMkeepitup

    yes now its just like the ps one because you can even play the same games on it

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The movie by the how the trailer presented it looks fine. But putting that aside knowing Bay’s previous films and seeing how he treated history with Pearl Harbor there is no way this movie can be good at all. You’re right and I am right to it will bomb. You go to any one and you tell them if they want to watch a new Star Wars film, one that looks fantastic by the way, or if they want to watch a non Transformer Michael Bay film they will always pick Star Wars. Also considering the film will sell out seats all over the world people will go the theater over and over again just to see it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What…

  • Snake Squeezer

    frame of white

  • Snake Squeezer

    space wars?

  • Snake Squeezer

    I hope the Space War part 13 is just Rick Astley. I hope this cause world panic as man children nerds take to reddit to talk about how displeased they are and eveybody responds with a gif of old robe guy laughing. Piss Wars!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The third trailer was specifically tailored for the beer drinking NFL fans.
    They went more for a “Action Movie” vibe.

  • TheManHole

    My thoughts exactly.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Star Gays needs more Rape!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its Tuesday here, I didnt even notice.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dick pics?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Welcome to tOmy’s personal diary, I mean RLM Disqus comments.

  • Niccageshair
  • Strong_Bow

    I’ve re-listened to all the commentary tracks while doing school work like five times each over the past few weeks. I NEED MOREEEE!

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Jesus.

  • TapewormBike

    Call me, I’ll comment on what’s on TV.

  • Strong_Bow

    Dick Evans?

  • TapewormBike

    Him as well.

  • TapewormBike

    Good thing that he’s the only one using not to comment on the video.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I used to work in wineries…. I think, Its hard to remember much from that time…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah, I meant to ask is there something wrong with the video? mine stops half way through.

  • TapewormBike

    Mine works fine. Jay said it’s going to be the best ever. Then Mike and Rich kissed.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    On Ice.

  • TapewormBike

    Near rocks.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Sharp rocks?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Go watch Mr Robot!

  • TapewormBike

    Sharpe rocks. It does, watch it.

  • Like Icare

    It doesn’t look fine.
    It looks… cheaply scripted, full of meaningless and empty macho lines, terribly out of place.
    Also, note the Office guy’s lines… i.e. how awkwardly he has none.

    It looks like a bad attempt at propaganda.

    Also, it looks just a tad empty. Like it lacked money for more extras.

  • TapewormBike

    On it, moooooom! Seriously, need to work a bit and then it’s on. Bitchezz

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    wow thats sad… thanks.

  • Drakkenmensch

    Did the video get DMCAed? It goes dark the moment it’s about to start the reaction part.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah Disney was going to sue because of what Rich did to the Phasma doll.

  • RLMkeepitup

    E true hollywood story written all over it

  • TapewormBike

    I used to live back at home, in Moravia (where Tom dwells). I have the same problem for the same reason.

  • Niccageshair

    I think Nintendo put one on just to be safe.

  • Uhh…. Sure. Whatever.

  • TapewormBike

    Ewoks did it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    kaant wate to get fource awakins on veeyehhcheesss

  • Whatever they did, the Simpsons did it first.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I went by how the trailer presented it. It looked in how it presented it. But a trailer is not a movie based on everything that we all know and snipetts that were not fine were awful.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It was blacks!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Niccageshair

    Probably not but why let that stop anyone.

  • RLMkeepitup

    insert Ice-T song about colors

  • Palpatine

    No. But if he was the Yellow Ranger, then he would it would be racist.

  • TheManHole

    In the original power rangers they had a black black ranger and an Asian yellow ranger. So for the movie it was seen in poor taste so they replaced their actors

  • RLMkeepitup

    Martin Sheen was warned twice in the Dead Zone by Walkin that he would live to be a military asshole, then in Spawn it came true and Walkin went on to star in Prophecy 1-3. Just sayin.

  • TheManHole
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I am a nightmare walking psychopath stalking…
    Now what was thats song?

  • TheManHole

    “I have a great relationship with ‘the blacks’ “

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But he’s replacing the black ranger who was black.

  • Palpatine

    So they’re being politically correct, which is worse.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Politically correct yet at the same time replacing a role played by a black man.

  • Trask
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well he then went on to run the para-military, pro-human organization called Cerberus.
    http://www.gameranx.com/img/12-Mar/sheen.jpg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No it’s stupid. There’s a difference.

  • Trask

    I’ll take your word for it, I don’t really care enough to have an opinion about this.

  • Palpatine

    I guess they didn’t want to be seen as racists by casting a black man in that role.

  • Strong_Bow

    Watched The Mist for the first time all the way through last night (continuing my scary movie marathon); holy shit, that movie is awesome! I want to get the blu ray that has the black and white version of the movie.

  • Red Skeleton

    http://jimromenesko.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/eagle.jpg

    Stay classy, Wisconsin.
    #OutOfContextQuoteOfTheDay.

  • Palpatine

    The man’s last name is Negro.

  • Like Icare

    But at least he’s quick on his feet and a capable improviser.
    http://i864.photobucket.com/albums/ab209/bludclotts/ZZaaaaZZ.gif

  • Let’s not forget the Pink cheerleader ranger. You know, because girls like pink.

  • Red Skeleton

    Thank fuck you’re here to explain the joke.

  • Palpatine

    You’re welcome.

  • RLMkeepitup

    that part was amazing!

  • RLMkeepitup

    Walkins predictions had a massive effect on his career!

  • Like Icare

    While on that subject…
    http://www.badrecordcovers.com/?p=255

  • Earth

    I love this guy. He’s adorable.

  • Earth

    He’s actually on a number of Star Wars sites (uses the same thumbnail/name so it’s not hard to find him). He came to the Plinkett reviews here and I told him he should chill and take up Tae Bo.

  • Earth

    Heh, good to see someone noticed that too.

    (RedLetterMedia has ruined stock sound effects for me).

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So I’m going see Steve Jobs this weekend because The Martian looks uninteresting as all hell. I’m wondering if Aaron Sorkin doesn’t write a series of walk and talk scenes.

  • TheManHole

    Wow some people really have nothing better to do with their time. I mean who spends all day talking to strangers over the internet about star wars…Oh wait fuck.

  • Red Skeleton

    I’m ok with it. It’s like I’m getting spam with my spam.

  • Earth

    I’m glad that someone else has no interest in The Martian.

  • TheManHole

    I thought it was a pretty good movie and it is much better then Ridley Scott’s last movie involving space and odds are better then his next. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2316204/

  • tOmy`

    Look, I tried Star Wars, I tried Justified, but they just won’t understand.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t know, some times a movie get so hyped up with great reviews and audiences are raving about it but I will end up being disappointed in the end. Like Boyhood. This is why I do not want to watch Inside Out.

  • tOmy`

    Ok, back to Star Wars:

    Is it better than Justified? 7/10.

    This was the final comment we needed. Move on. These are not the robots you were searching five.

    #AHAHAHAHHAA

  • tOmy`

    No, seriously.

    Mr. Robot.

    *sips beer* Fuckers… *sips beer profoundly*

  • Earth

    I look at the trailer and five stars and for whatever reason I just struggle to care.

    I’m more interested in watching Red Planet with Val Kilmer than The Martian.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well here is a video comparing the two

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxOTQq9H1EE

  • Earth

    With Ira ProV it’s like staring into a scary mirror of stupid.

  • tOmy`
  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    Am I the only one who’s looking forward to the Plinkett review of The Force Awakens more than the movie itself?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    No, I am as well and am standing by my decision of only seeing The Force Awakens on cable-tv, with or without commercials. Unless someone wants to pay for me and or drug me when it opens, that is.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Seed of Chucky? My God this is worse than the Jaws franchise.

  • Amontillado

    So I just finished the Scientifically Accurate Barney the Dinosaur video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=865AoXifk7E; yet all I could think about was if an Ak47 would be powerful enough to kill a T Rex. What weapon would be your choice to wage against one of the meanest sonofbitches to ever roam the face of this godforsaken hunk of rock floating in space?

  • Palpatine

    Everyone likes to talk about The Omen from 1976, but not many people talk about the sequels, which really aren’t that bad.

  • Garfunklehazy

    It really is a great film. I saw it in the theater and the popcorn kid asked me what I was seeing and I told him and he replied “oh man, you should go ask for your money back now”- and he’s not alone. It was a very polarizing film. I think it was a horror on several levels and the end was like a profound emotional horror. I watched the b&w version as well, but prefer the color version. It’s strange, George Miller wanted to release Fury Road in black and white as well… with a film as stunning as that, I can’t imagine wanting to take out part of what makes it so.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Barret .50

  • RLMkeepitup

    mini nuke from troopers

  • RLMkeepitup

    sam neill stole the show with his hellhounds in part III the final conflict, which did not live up to its name sake. it also wasn’t the first time sam was involved with a possession.

  • Like Icare

    Yes. It could very well kill a T-Rex.
    http://www.examiner.com/article/28-elephants-killed-with-ak-47s

    Might take a few bullets but them 7.62×39 mm bullets are deadlier the bigger the target (up to a point). It takes some tissue for it to start tumbling and making REAL damage.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5.45%C3%9739mm#/media/File:RussianWP.jpg

    Which is why AK-74 fires 5.45×39 mm rounds.

    Those suckers cavitate earlier and make gaping exit wounds that end in amputations if the wounded body part is a limb.

  • walter rosenbaum

    I would like to this video, but I have not seen the trailer yet. I trying to see how long I can go with out seeing it.

  • mothersmurfer

    hahahahaha! You fuckers!

  • Palpatine

    The poster for the film was also a lie. Damien should’ve been the U.S. President in the film.

  • Palpatine

    According to Jurassic Park III, a Spinosaurus can do the trick.

  • scriptfeels

    watching it for the first time in the video hehe

  • YOUTUBE RED?????????????

  • Amontillado

    Jesus, the stuff human kind comes up with…

  • Amontillado

    To ease your pain, doggies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaWZEfx34Cg

  • Popo Bawa

    They make it out of monkey cum!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You will make them pay for what they have done.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Strong_Bow

    I really enjoyed all the creature effects; although the tentacles look pretty meh in the beginning but all the bugs, pterodactyl, and spiders look great. The colossus at the end is awesome! Aside form the great effects, the character stuff is really good; wish Frank Darabont would do more with directing.

  • Palpatine

    I love how there’s articles about the Columbine Shooting and the War in Kosovo beneath the one about Jar Jar.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They were all crimes against humanity. so it make sense.

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, but Jar Jar was the worst.

  • Bubs

    My weapon of choice would be a meteor. Proven effective.

    Meteors: Killin Dinosaurs since 63 million BC.

  • Strong_Bow
  • Strong_Bow

    Old news you bald, condescending dick rigger.

  • Palpatine

    I love how Carpenter looks he does not want to be there. Also, who’s the other guy?

  • Strong_Bow

    Palpy, you’re killing me. Kurt Russel!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I would only watch a Thing film if these two made it.

  • Strong_Bow

    Well Andy, I know things are different down under, but 1982 happened 33 years ago.

  • Palpatine
  • Strong_Bow

    Klassic. I know, they is getting old. You getting amped for the Eagles this Sunday?

  • I love Jar Jar. I hope hes a Gungin Jedi in JJ Trek ep7.

    #4real #noshame

  • Palpatine

    Who cares, they’re just going to lose again.

  • Palpatine

    AMC’s Fear Fest sucks.

  • Palpatine

    Then why did you banish him?

  • RLMkeepitup

    it’s all chucky tonight, they used to have something called variety

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The channel or the theater chain?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I liked Hotel California.

  • Palpatine

    Seed of Chucky is currently playing. Is it supposed to be funny? Because I’m not laughing. Okay, Chucky killing Britney Spears was kind of funny.

  • Palpatine

    The channel.

  • tOmy`

    Your reviews are great,

  • tOmy`

    So… McDonald now sells Monster. What about that, huh?

  • RLMkeepitup

    I chuckled a bit

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Remember their movie notes? It sucked.

  • TapewormBike

    You’d be cool waching the vid then.

  • TapewormBike

    I think they are trying to tell us that the real Monster is within us.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Is this your Monster Eliot?

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    I bet Sicario would be a better choice.

  • tOmy`

    I noticed some of you actually saw Fast 7, so I wanted to ask: Does anyone have any information about the camerawork? You know, that “put it into blender and see what happens / Michael Bay” stuff? Except everyone’s acting, this was the most baffling aspect of the movie.

    Mike and Jay never mentioned it, which is odd, because that stuff can give you sea sickness.

  • Commander X

    McDonald’s won’t be satisfied until they’ve killed all of us.

  • Commander X

    Would you say, you…”Chuckie-led” a bit?
    Of course not, that would be silly.

  • tOmy`

    You know, I know that “RS something something music something” is old joke, but this really should give you a pause:

    Jar Jar Binks, Columbine, Kosovo… yet they don’t have enough of space to use the full fucking name of Red Hot Chili Peppers?

  • tOmy`

    I still suspect that they have only one song and rest is just white noise.

  • This is something really interesting that is worth paying your attention right now,a superb online opportunity to work for those people who want to use their free time so that they can make some extra money using their computers… I have been working on this for last two and half years and I am earning 60-90 dollar/ hour … In the past week I have earned 13,70 dollars for almost 20 hours sitting ….

    Specific qualification, degree or skills is not necessary for this, just keyboard typing and a good working and reliable internet connection ….

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  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    “christina greathouse”

    We’ll be the judge of whether it’s great.

  • Let’s see who’s the dick rigger at the dom-jot table. Care for a game?

  • The line must. … eh, you know where I’m going with this.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I like the convenience of getting both diabetus and heart disease from one source.

  • Bubs

    Aaron Sorkin is like a living breathing episode of Gilmore Girls. Everything he writes has to be spoken at Mach 10, as if that somehow makes it more clever or wittier. I suspect it’s so people don’t actually have time to stop and think about what they just heard, they’re too busy trying to keep up with what the fuck is being said. I remain unimpressed.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You lost me on the Gilmore Girls. You watched the fucking Gilmore Girls?

  • tOmy`

    VA – True Detective Official Soundtrack

    tl;dr: Gaping vortex of depression that makes for a very strong collection of very strong songs and yet feels absolutely unnecessary due to its format.

    Ray Fucking Velcoro version: So you just buried your cat who was your only friend… you washed your face in Bailey’s and now you are sitting with a pack of cigarettes on your porch. It is a cold, windy autumn night and you can’t help but to wonder what was the exact moment when your wife decided to leave you. That is the perfect moment for this album.

    So the album opens with Cohen’s Nevermind that right off the bat asks the question: Why exactly is the theme of S2 an opener? Well, nevermind (ha, get it?). We quickly shift to one of 5 Lera Lynn’s song that just makes you wonder what went so fucking wrong with Season 2 that it ruined songs this great. Lynn seems to be more than solid, her performance on every song sounds top notch, yet she sometimes struggles with selling the obvious cliches. Cave’s All The Gold In California makes 3rd track the last uptempo-ish moment of the album and after that, even your media player tries to kill itself.

    If you are wondering, Handsome Family’s masterpiece Far From Any Road comes in the middle of the album and tries to uplift you with somewhat of a dark fantasy / mystical song. Its placement on the album is just as baffling as the whole album – Unofficial soundtrack for S1 only has 46 tracks. This is 14 funeral songs. In a very odd order that somehow plays like “track A, track B, Lera Lynn, track C, track D, Lera Lynn”. It’s like a highschool playlist or something.

    I would be happy with inclusion of any of the stand out score tracks or maybe a quote or two to make this at least feel justified. I can’t help to wonder whether Ray’s skullfucking dead parents wouldn’t make for a brilliant moment somewhere in the middle of the album, but that unfortunately doesn’t happen.

    Recommendation: If you are not a TD fan or didn’t see this series, this is pretty much pointless for you. You can check out Lera Lynn, because since you didn’t see it, you won’t cringe whenever she is on the mic. If you are TD fan, well, I guess you can check it out just to hear Lera Lynn’s original songs and not acoustic edits for the show and… I don’t know. It’s all very good, but as a whole, it’s just odd. It even manages to bury a song by Dylan. You won’t even notice it’s there. Nevermind and Far From Any Road are the stand out songs and you most likely have them anyway.

  • TapewormBike

    You know, we all could’ve written books, learned Japanese or do the thing I am dioing at the moment and that I want couple of you guys to help with, beacuse I think you’d enjoy it, but I won’t say more until I have done something to actually give you an idea and this is how this sentence ends.

  • TapewormBike

    We’ve all watched Gilmore Girls. Gooble Gobble.

  • tOmy`

    I really hope this turns into masturbation joke.

  • TapewormBike

    Well it’s about us getting creatively together. An cumming like fire hoses.

  • tOmy`

    I wish I could help you but I am starting to write a short story.

    For past 5 years. It’s going great, thanks for asking.

  • TapewormBike

    I am not saying anything else. And in any case, talk just gets in the way of more wanking.

  • tOmy`

    Cool, can’t wait!

    No, seriously, I can’t. It’s a disease. Anytime I wait my brain shuts down.

  • TapewormBike

    I think that’s pretty widespread. Just look at people standing in a queue in Tesco.

  • tOmy`

    But it’s cheap and convenient diabetes and heart disease!

  • Bubs

    You have to watch a show to know it exists? I’d like you to meet the internet.

  • Bubs

    So THAT’S what a heyblibber is. I get it now.

  • Bubs

    I feel like this is really clever. But I haven’t seen the show, so this is lost on me completely. I feel like every single person on this webzone is not the target audience for this.

  • Bubs

    So… how’s your sex life?

  • instant relief

    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

  • Bubs

    NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

  • TapewormBike

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  • tOmy`

    Is this what have you been working on?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

  • TapewormBike

    Mainly. So long, suckazzz

  • Bubs

    Okay, it’s time to get real. I have a problem, and I have literally hurt my brain thinking about it. It keeps me awake at night. I awake in cold sweats, screaming at nothing. Reality is turning in on itself, and I have nowhere else to turn for answers. So maybe some of you can help me.

    So the issue is this:

    When I’m browsing on Netflix, every movie/show has two different synopsis. There is an initial synopsis, visible without clicking on the movie (we’ll call this the False-Synopsis). Then, after clicking on the movie, there is a second synopsis (we’ll call this the Real-Synopsis).

    The False-Synopsis, despite being viewable first, always makes me want to find a baby and shove it in a blender to stop the screaming inside of my own head. It’s always written as if it was some smarmy gameshow host were trying to tempt me with a shitty car that’s hidden behind door number three. The Real-Synopsis is always much more helpful, tonally correct, and efficiently informative.

    For example, a False-Synopsis might read like this: “Break out the popcorn and tissues! Tough times are ahead in this kooky, but memorable family drama.”

    Where the following Real-Synopsis will read: “After a brutal rape and assault leaves a woman crippled for life, she searches for answers in a diary left behind by her great grandfather.”

    So my question is this: WHY THE FUCK DOES THE FALSE-SYNOPSIS EXIST?! I am sincerely contemplating calling Netflix to find out. Someone help.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Because god gets off on our suffering so invented Marketing…

  • instant relief

    CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

  • Like Icare

    Bah. I’ve had Youtube Black for years now. It does wonders for me not going blind while youtubing at night.
    https://userstyles.org/styles/62289/black-youtube-by-panos

    Now while some will say that Youtube Blue is overpriced and just a marketing ploy (mind you they will usually also say that Youtube Gold is where it’s at for the real connoisseur), if you got a chance to try Blue – take it.
    Your doctor and your imam will understand it.

  • instant relief

    I blame BuzzFeed.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You wrecked it… i was trying to do David Bowie.
    You need some ‘Re-Education’ Report to the camps.

  • instant relief

    Am I gonna meet David Bowie there?

  • instant relief

    How’s yours?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    this was better then the actual show.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Wha…. I mean yeah sure… get on the train…..

  • bassbait

    RHCP has to earn that right.

  • instant relief

    Are we going to Disneyland, daddy?

  • bassbait

    Very few movies are so good that I’d actually be bothered by a negative review from Plinkett. But I’d say that I’m not necessarily looking forward to the review on the basis that Mike might not actually want to *do* an in-depth negative review. He never got around to giving Into Darkness a full Plinkett treatment, and that movie sucked pretty fucking hard. If he has something to say, I do look forward to it.

  • bassbait

    3 times.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No son, we are going to Dentist Land…. I’m sorry.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    BOTH!!!!!
    …hands….

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah… but this was after the ‘NING-NONG-NING’ of Californication… So they are war criminals too.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    @domo_konnichiwa:disqus I still haven’t got your letter…. but today a man 1.5 miles from me was arrested for ‘Attempting to Import Contraband Items.’
    Did you do that? there is only 500 people in my town.

  • Did you get to sit in the back of the kangaroo when the cops questioned you?

    AAAHAHAAA!

    #aachachaa

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats the POST OFFICE!!! how many times do I have to tell you!
    RACIST!

  • TapewormBike

    Go to sleep!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Domo has a warm milk funnel…..?
    Do you have something similar?

  • TapewormBike

    Stone cold enema. And I said something.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its hard to brush your teeth and type…. god is an arsehole.

  • TapewormBike

    Get your teddy and chop chop.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Chop Chop is slang for illegal Tax Free Tobacco.
    Or Chopper Reid.

    https://youtu.be/O2-vg7070fo

    xoxo

  • Strong_Bow

    George Miller’s vision is already coming true in your parts.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    ‘Vision’? Its a documentary.

  • Strong_Bow

    Ohhhhhh,,,Goddam CNN,,,

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • TapewormBike
  • instant relief

    WHAAT? Kill it with fire!

  • TapewormBike

    Why thank you.

  • instant relief

    Those eyes are the fuel of nightmares.

  • TapewormBike

    That’s what all my loved ones see before I tell them “Good night”. So dark, cold, neverending night…

  • instant relief

    Are you a killer clown?

  • TapewormBike

    Only around 11pm.

  • The Onion Reviews: Back to The Future. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGwm-ffoXig

  • instant relief

    Clever reference! I don’t get it.

  • instant relief

    People who annoy you…

  • instant relief

    If only I could think of a fish out of the water joke right now.

  • Palpatine

    Every kind of person.

  • TheManHole
  • capitandelespacio

    What is it with “Ricks”?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Join us in the manhole T-minus 4 hours from now on for KIKI #5.

  • Strong_Bow

    Watch out when you cross that cat’s path, your future may become even worse…

  • Strong_Bow

    That level of nerderry went well over my head.

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • I’ll try. I have worked all day. Tired! Dog tired. I’ll problably just fall asleep. Well at least my wife can get her self her another Gucci bag. Nr 38 as a matter of fact.

    #GucciGucciGucciWhereIsMyGucci

  • I’ll never join you!!

  • TapewormBike

    Then, as per usual, he will take you.

  • Did you find that in a sript lying on the floor?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    In my point of view the Jedi’s are evil!

  • Palpatine

    Piunishing must be hard work, huh?

  • It sure is. I just laid off half the planet.

  • Palpatine

    You’re in charge of Naboo now?

  • No South America and Arctica. Penguins and Latinos got greedy.

  • tOmy`

    I will most likely be there.

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    Oh god, I forgot about that one

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is Luke being Kylo Ren dumber than Robin being the Joker?

  • Like Icare

    Most probably yes.

    Robin being the Joker has a plausible explanation, however Oedipal and pussifying (Bo-hoo… Bat-daddy didn’t love me enough.) it may be. There’s room for that in the backstory of those characters.

    For Luke to both A) turn to the Dark Side and B) end up as basically a servant after resisting the attempts to turn him by both his Space Jesus dad AND the Emperor AND doing so at a much younger age, before mastering his skills…
    Well… It would take a fucking LOT to make something like that plausible.

    And unless there’s another trilogy of mid-pre-seq-something-quels between Jedi and Ep. 7… there’s no room to make that plausible.

  • Like Icare

    Clearly it’s time someone invented a teeth-brushing battery operated mouth guard.

  • tOmy`

    That’s the thing I mentioned earlier: Since EU has been whipped out by Immigrants and Expanded Universe by JJ, we literally have no clue what happened during all those years. It sorta renders everyone’s guess just a guess.

    You know, Luke could have just gotten old and went crazy. We have literally no point of reference.

  • Niccageshair

    I hate this too. I also hate how Netflix apparently auto plays now when you click into a movie to read that real synopsis.

  • Niccageshair

    Oh thank god now I can listen to “My least favorite life” over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. It’s like watching the show again.

  • Like Icare

    That’s racist.
    The influx of Middle Eastern and African refugees into EU is such a tiny fraction of population it’s ridiculous suggesting they are wiping out EU.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    woops i meant 3 hours. start time is 22:00 CEST. Get hype fuckers!

  • Niccageshair

    Everyone knows immigrants come from the land of the ice and snow. From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We also have to build a wall to keep them out.

  • Niccageshair

    They came to fight the horde, sing and cry: Valhalla, I am coming. A wall may not cut it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “I don’t like The Joker, he’s a very bland character”
    -A moron.

  • I agree. Jar Jar Binks is a much better character. Did you know he starred in the movie the Jar directed by David Lynch?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    How much are you getting paid to say how great Jar Jar is?

  • tOmy`

    Yea, well, Jihad.

    Dirty liberal.

  • tOmy`

    HA!

  • Nothing, I am just such a fan of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Jar Jar.

    https://youtu.be/HWUFOC_t-t4?t=1m23s

  • My ex wife

    My mommy always said there were no monsters, no real ones, but there are.

  • My ex wife

    Who wouldn’t? she’s a cutie!

  • My ex wife

    He never said he wanted to watch it. Stop putting words in his mouth!

  • My ex wife

    I have a solution. Become very cheap.
    This way you will not want to spend the money on said movies at their time of release, and by the time they are for rent you will have forgotten all he hype around them.
    This is also why my phone has a 3 in its name and not a 6.

  • Palpatine

    Absolutely. I will walk out of the theater if that happens.

  • Palpatine

    I know right. It’s not like you have 1,000,000,000 Chinamen flooding into the EU.

  • Palpatine

    Sam Neill is freaking amazing in The Omen III. Only he can deliver an evil monologue to a statue of Christ on the cross.

  • Palpatine

    Derka derka, Muhammad Jihad.

  • You’ve probably seen this. But if not, you should:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo7_qW4pPrc&feature=youtu.be

  • fred

    Sometimes he is bland. That new one looks pretty lame.

  • RLMkeepitup

    finally binks gets to whip out that saber of his and go to town

  • Snake Squeezer

    Wart Sars fans

  • Palpatine

    Ha, that was great!

  • Snake Squeezer

    In my pants?

  • Jar Jar Binks! Jar Jar Binks!

    #heesadabest

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Luke apparently grew seven niches taller and got plastic surgery to look like Adam Driver from Inside Llewyn Davis.

  • My ex wife

    I just want to say one word to you. Just one word. Are you listening?

    Batteries.

  • Snake Squeezer

    can I pay you not to see it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If George got his way

  • Oh, Howard…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ron Howard?

  • My ex wife

    Howard Jones?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Howard Hughes?

  • I’m glad you asked…

    https://youtu.be/e0oeY1KMY9U?t=16s

  • Palpatine

    Bryce Dallas Howard?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    GOOD LORD, MAN!

  • HOWARD THE DUCK, EXECUTIVE PRODUCED BY GEORGE LUCAS, IS AN OFFBEAT, VISUAL EFFECTS-FILLED COMEDY BASED ON THE CULT FAVORITE MARVEL COMICS SERIES OF THE SAME NAME.

    http://lucasfilm.com/howard-the-duck

  • TheManHole

    Jar Jar really is the key to all of this.

  • Like Icare

    His dad had fake legs too, so…

    Speaking of fake legs… Imagine a twist where it is actually Darth Maul. He WAS into unconventionally designed lightsabers…

    Someone needs to spread that rumor on reddit. Introduce a little anarchy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Using Joker quotes to live by usually isn’t a good thing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It lacked Rick McCallum and his head at a 45 degree angle.

  • Like Icare

    Oh fuck… I’m having visions of a glorified blog-post on some faux-news-site like Huffinglue Post about how things we learned from the movies are not good business strategies or some shit.

    “Why holding your child in a cave is not good parenting and where Batman went wrong!”
    “7 Lessons of movie lawyers that will get you sodomized in a butt-fuck prison”
    “Movie romances are a LIE!!!”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    manhole sausage party right now.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Confirmed for gay

  • Palpatine

    Have fun.

  • Palpatine

    He does have a weird head.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ‘jay

  • dollar store cashier wife

    always and forever.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    OMG THAT’S SOME FUNKY SHIT

  • RLMkeepitup
  • psk

    what happened?! no video!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Isn’t that Lex Luthor?

  • Amontillado

    Bubs, I’ve been waiting, plus wouldn’t you kill them by drowning? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuNPrYXNzCQ&t=9m32s

  • Amontillado

    Don’t you mean, THE, Funky Shit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMz5cQPaxVk

  • Amontillado

    I think this answers your question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW7eNNdaJO4&t=4m14s

  • Amontillado

    Uh, it’s, it’s for the children. They consider me a role model.
    *brief, awkward chuckle*

  • Amontillado

    How do you even…? You must have no scruples.

  • Potato-potahto.

  • Jiff_Sampson

    As if we needed more proof yer a bunch a hack frauds.

  • I wonder whether this image applies to me or you. There’s been at least 10 people voicing similar reactions, so I’m not sure any more.
    http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/10/103530/2386293-the_joke_your_head_3-%28n1292804669453%29.jpg

  • What’s the matter? The party died before midnight (CET)? I call shenanigans.

  • Hm… Wrong toupee.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    That would sell I’m stealing the idea!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    There was a party? I hope it wasnt political.

  • Palpatine

    Oh no, did I miss another Manhole party?!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I love the Beastie Boys….. wait what!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Jahead Lamo or whatever his name is.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You should just get Macaulay Culkin to build hilarious traps on the border.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Only one third of Antarctica. Australia claims most of it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    … die slowly.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I thought they were beautiful, Here everyone has blue eyes, its nice to see some colour.

  • Like Icare

    What? No mention of its influence on Grant Morrison?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcW_EaNJQSo&feature=youtu.be&t=5766

  • Like Icare

    He’s also coarse and rough and irritating and gets everywhere.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A party? Was it gggggaaaaaaaaaayyy?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    probably not Omi’s AFK for the weekend.

  • Like Icare

    Build this idea into a subliminal pitch too.

    Pretending to be just cleaning your teeth while actually grinding them while trying not to explode in an irritating situation.
    Fathers on road-trips… visiting in-laws… watching news… listening to your boss at a meeting… facing a stupid person… but I’m already repeating myself.

  • Palpatine

    I wasn’t there for it, but it most likely was.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What if some clear noxious gas came into the room right as the trailer started?

  • Palpatine

    Dioxus.

  • Like Icare

    Leave the door closed for couple of hours. Then KEEP PUMPING IN MORE GAS!!!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The average IQ of the human race would go up?

  • Palpatine

    Have you tried that?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Put it in the tea! Put it in the tea!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    ….. um… I’m going to say no, on advice from my lawyer.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe he just got a little sniff.

  • Like Icare

    Whenever I bring my laptop with me while having a shit.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They should have used VX. the pain of skin contact would have made them scream involuntarily causing the toxin to enter the lungs… followd by muscle spasms that can break bones…
    Good Times.

  • Palpatine

    Mike, Jay, and Josh died and their remains were destroyed by the Battle Droids. But Rich and Jack survived, so it looks we’ll be getting nothing but Pre-Rec episodes until the end of time. Yay!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They must be dead by now destroy what’s left of them.

  • Palpatine

    So speaking of Star Wars, can someone please explain to me the Podrace bet in Episode I?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I can. Poor scripting.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So Qui Gon bets…okay I can’t explain it. Most bets don’t have like a catch 22 like getting the part and you get Anakin. Why couldn’t they just ditch the ship they had and get one that’s more reliable and Anakin sneaks aboard. Maybe some droids and Darth Maul chase them down because Watto ratted them out or something. The pod race is not exciting because we know what was going to happen in the end. With a chase scene like I mentioned we wouldn’t know how it would end which makes tension.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the bet was made because the supposed main character from the 3 prequels can’t die as we know he becomes vader. Qui Gon could sense it. Hence his death face later screams I died for nothing

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Or Twato agrees to sell them the part for three times market price to cover the shity excange rate to Hutt Slime Tokens or whatever they use, but won’t sell The Kid.
    Twato: “Are you shitting me? Oy vey the kid builds robots! Do you have any idea how much that’s worth to me? I’m kvetching a spritz right here. Mazel Tov.”
    So Kwy Gone on Gin just kidnapped the kid.
    It’s a reverse Taken
    Twato “I have a particular set of skills… You meshuga jedi.”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    ‘Its all about the Benjamins.’ just played on TV….
    Sorry but the Weird Al parody is better lyrically and MUSICALLY!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpMvS1Q1sos

  • umbarger24

    Jay, what did you think of Star Wars episode VII-12 years a stormtrooper?

  • Palpatine

    But how would you sell toys and video games that way?

  • Garfunklehazy

    I think it’s going to be a situation where fans will love it when they see it initially, but as the excitement settles and you start to really think about it objectively, it will be only slightly better than mediocre.

  • Garfunklehazy

    I agree, I think Frank Darabont is an excellent director, especially when he’s a fan of the source material (granted, his draft of Indy 4 was kinda crap, but… for the most part he’s amazing). you should check out YourMovieSucksDOTorg (unless you already know about it) and watch his 4-part video on The Walking Dead and how AMC totally screwed Darabont over and just the brilliant ideas he had for where the show could have gone versus where it actually has gone.

  • Like Icare

    He wasn’t shown to be stingy… just a haggler.
    Ergo he’s an Arab.

  • FiachSidhe

    I didn’t really appreciate the joke of this, until I saw a video of a grown man reacting to this trailer for a fantasy kids movie the same way middle aged women react to the Joy fucking Luck Club.

    https://www.facebook.com/ComicBookResources/videos/1079892028702268/?pnref=story

  • Bubs

    tl;dr Fuck off, George.

    So we all love the Plinkett reviews, but the bet isn’t really that complicated (though it is needlessly complicated for the purposes of the movies).

    In the first scene where they’re discussing the race, Gin says he has a ship and needs a racer. If he supplies the racer, Watto can supply the driver. They’ll split the winnings 50/50. Watto’s a jew, so he tells Gin that HE should pay the entry fee. Since Gin is broke, having spent all his money on booze, he says that Watto can have ALL the money, if Watto pays the entry fee minus the cost of the parts his ship needs. If Jake Lloyd loses the race because he’s a drug addicted sociopath, then Watto gets to keep the ship and he wins either way.

    This isn’t actually the bet. Plinkett is *gasp* actually sort of wrong about this. Ginny isn’t gambling here, they’re just doing a business deal (which the audience doesn’t care about or need to see).

    There is a second scene later on, where they DO make a bet. Gin bets that Sebulba will not win the race, and Watto bets that he does (he bets against Anakin because he’s a cunt). If Anakin wins, he becomes Gin’s sex slave. If he loses, he becomes Watto’s sex slave (again). This bet is FURTHER FUCKING COMPLICATED FOR NO REASON, because Watto rolls the die to see whether Gin will win Anakin or his mother. Qui Gon cheats.

    After the race, we see Watto lamenting Anakin’s victory, saying “I am ruined”, which makes no fucking sense, because all he lost was a stupid slave. HE GETS TO KEEP THE WINNINGS BASED ON THEIR EARLIER AGREEMENT. But he seems to forget this (and so did Lucas… the guy who wrote this stupid fucking script).

  • Like Icare

    I cried because I thought I had a small penis.
    Until I saw a man who’s newly grown vagina started menstruating.
    Life is full of blessings. Sometimes you just wish you hadn’t have to see them.

    And I could still use a few more centimeters added to the length of my cock.
    As long as it is not in a form of a tumor or some disease or something like that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Be original like BioWare

  • Bubs

    Isn’t it weird how some people just look gay?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is General Grevious the dumbest character in the Prequels?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkeeeeeee

  • Bubs

    No, Yoda is.

    “Around the survivors a perimeter create.”? Are you fuckin kidding me?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He does look very gay

  • Palpatine

    No, second dumbest. Anakin is the dumbest one.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t know. Both of them are pretty dense.

  • Like Icare

    Uuuh… That’s a tough one.

    I mean… there’s Padme’s double. And Anakin.
    And all the Jedi that got killed by their own troops despite being able to deflect blaster fire.
    And the Shatnerians. And Dooku. And remember that assassin trying to sneak up on a Jedi in that club, when he-she-it could have easily escaped?

    Those films suffer from an abundance of characters acting stupidly for the sake of the plot.
    Well, not suffer as much as they are permeated with them.
    The way cancer doesn’t suffer from having cancer.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The clone troopers are pretty stupid too. Not once do they question the fact that Palpatine wants them murder their commanding officers and friends.

  • Palpatine

    Everyone in the Prequels is dumb. Well, except for yours truly, of course.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Well my racist dialogue is ruined! I’ll never be George Lucas now!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re the only character that makes sense through out. You’re the only one who notices everyone is a fucking moron.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The real winner was the audience, cause we all got fucked.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’ll cut him some slack – part of his brain must be cybernetic and not a complete ‘fit’ for his hacked together body. He was also quite oxygen starved which further affected his performance and no doubt led to the development Vader suit having that massive a/c unit on it.

  • Palpatine

    Everyone being dumb made them easier to manipulate.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The kid. any of them. “Mastha yoda, why was i bwtilly mwrdered?”
    BECAUSE YOU CANT ACT YOU STUPID 5 YEAR OLD!

  • instant relief

    Everyone has blue eyes? You sure you don’t live in Germany? Even I have brown eyes. 😛

  • Strong_Bow

    Welp, just typed for 9 straight hours and finally finished my a lesson plan for school, 36 pages worth. Time to get back to my The Visit prequel…

  • Bubs

    Don’t worry. No one ever invites me either. Probably because I’m an asshole.

  • Palpatine

    I’m still confused.

  • Palpatine

    Your what?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Really?….. GUARDS!

  • instant relief

    Are you writing kinky fanfiction?

  • instant relief

    I hated how they hyped Grievous to be the next big super-villain and then… what did he even do in the movie? I can’t remember. All I remember is that Obi-Wan of all people shoots him with a blaster.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    I think the worst part of the new trailer is how Kylo Patypus sounds like Captain Immabadguy. “I will finish what you started”? What did Vader start? The Empire? No. A clothing line? A Jedi genocide? Kind of, but not really.

  • instant relief

    Maybe he’s referring to a reacharound?

  • Bubs

    He’s actually just really hungry. He’s going to finish Vader’s sandwich. The last meal he had before he was brutally murdered.

  • “Vader, you haven’t touched your Star Wars (TM) salad. Are you going to finish your Star Wars(TM) potatoes?”

  • tjp77

    Technically Vader did HELP start the Empire with Palpatine. Sure, he didn’t do it singlehandedly, but he was there from day one. He was basically the John Adams of the Empire.

  • tjp77

    What did he do? WHAT DID HE DO? He twirled around like ten lightsabers ALL AT ONCE LIKE A FUCKING BADASS CYBORG! BOOYA!!

    And then he got shot.

  • tjp77

    Duhh… they’ve all be specially bred to have limited autonomy and take orders without question. With genetics or something. Pay attention!

    All of them except Boba Fett, he was engineered to be a perfect clone of Jango. Django? Wait, was Jaimie Foxxxx in Phantom Menace too?

  • tjp77

    Believe it or not, ‘gay face’ and ‘gay lisp’ are actual phenomena that are studied by sociologists and cultural anthropologists.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    how uncivilised.

  • tjp77

    Maybe they should have just taken the fucking part from Watto AND Anakin and his mother too because what the fuck is Watto going to do about it? The fact that the Jedi who are supposed to be the moral center of the universe are obsessed with not tipping the applecart on a fucking slave planet makes zero sense whatsoever.

  • A fully operational battle station of course. Didn’t they already make that you ask? Well yes. But this time it will be a little different. It won’t have large holes that allows any spaceship to fly in the middle of the Death Star to blow it up. You see, Cylon Papyrus has a master degree in engineering. He is like the Elon Musk of the galaxy. It will be a flawless victory for the Empire and those pesky rebels will get murdered like younglings at a Sith Lord bachelor party

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Will it run on renewable energy?

    Either way, Palpy had already started building a fully operational battle station before Annie even became Vader.

  • I was walking in the mall today enjoying life, as I was suddenly interrupted by a young mother with her baby. She asked me to help her get the baby stroller up a few steps. I said yes but she just had to put her hand on my shoulder as a sign of gratitude. I of course lost it as any species would and yelled, “get you stinking hands of me, you damn dirty human”. I thought to myself that that was incredibly witty and i posted it on Facetoad. Just seconds after people started telling me it was so 2001 and pictures of apes started rolling in. I googled my witty one liner… aw gawd. It’s a good day for drinking.

  • bleurgh

    My parents are watching the original Star Wars. It’s pretty sad how much better this forty year old movie looks compared to the prequel trilogy.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Channel 7?

  • bleurgh

    They saw it was on tv and so put a DVD version on. I think it’s the special edition. I’ve already seen some gross cgi whateverthefucks.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its the ‘Special Needs Edition.’ on Tv as well, fucking CGI!

  • bleurgh

    Why hasn’t disney released a proper remastered original version of the movies yet? You would think that would be the first of their priorities after buying the franchise. Are they even working on one?

    Additionally, goddamnit it pisses me off how much the prequels ruined Obi Wan. He’s set up like this infamous, rougue, romaing, princess-rescuing, warrior badass who just happens to be at the end of his life when we meet him and simply too old for this shit, so he begrudgingly decides he’s going to pass the torch to this wimpy Luke, because he sees a little bit of potential in him and also sees a glimmer of Lukes lust for adventure when he sees Leias message. Obi Wan relates to Luke because he sees a little of himself in him.

    Then the prequels turn him into a restrained, celibate, rule-following member of a strict and self-righteous religious order.

    But I actually think the first movie was already kind of fucked up by them changing Obi from being the one who killed Lukes father to Darth Vadar being Lukes father, which makes Obi Wans story about his history either a bunch of lies or non-canonical and by making Leia Lukes sister, which makes his initial motivation, wanting to bang a hot princess, incredibly uncomfortable and disturbing. Even moreso when you consider that Obi Wan KNEW that Leia was Lukes sister and still exploited Lukes attraction to her.

    Basically all the subsequent movies turned Obi Wan into an amoral manipulative bastard without ever giving an adequate explanation as to why.

  • Niccageshair

    Certainly the worst pun name of cinema history.

  • Niccageshair

    It’s only a movie.

  • Niccageshair

    Maybe these gambling experts can help you out:https://youtu.be/PvpmD6NXPfw?t=20s

  • Earth

    That must have been a wonderful moment for Palpy:

    “wait…my plan to take over the galaxy doesn’t even have to be full-proof.”

  • Like Icare

    Well… they are clones. They may have a subliminal order built-in.

  • tOmy`

    Seeing the circle jerk we created around Mr. Robot, now I finally know I wasn’t talking out of my ass the first time around, so:

    If you have 10 hours to spare, go watch one of the best shows ever.

  • instant relief

    Exactly!

  • instant relief

    My genes got hacked, man.
    #puntastic

  • bleurgh

    It was good, not great.

  • tOmy`

    I still consider the worst thing about new trailer us not knowing what in the name of a fuck is the movie about. Except Star Wars. There is a lot of Star Wars in the new Star Wars trailer.

  • tOmy`

    It was a good KIKI indeed, great choices. I have a new KIKI in my mind for quite some time, so I’ll try to schedule it for next week.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s getting a blu-ray release so I think I’ll wait for that. The TV rips are distracting with never ending cutting to commercials(even if our kind to-rent-ing friends cut those out) and giant tv channel’s logo plastered on the screen.

  • tOmy`

    Wait. It also censored all “f-bombs” and there is plenty of them, so a lot of moments play out wrong because you can clearly see them say “fuck” and there is just silence.

    And the USA logo is distracting as fuck – the show has really original framing, putting characters into corners of the screen (and not so original Kubrick’s framing) and having something in pop out in the corner when the show tries to be THIS visual is really annoying.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yeah I imagine the blu-ray will drop the censorship if there is any.

  • My ex wife

    If he doesn’t finish his Star Wars meat, he can’t have any Star Wars pudding!

  • Amontillado

    You should have also started beating your chest and throwing rocks, and twigs, to assert your alpha maleness within the pack. Also should’ve started peeing on nearby objects to mark territory. Ah, lost opportunities.

  • Killing the last of the Jedi? He did kill off Obi Wan.

  • The “Star Wars”: brand the Star Wars (TM) logo and the phrase Star Wars are all registered trademarks of The Walt Disney Company (TM). All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized use will be met with severe consequences.

  • Palpatine

    Well ain’t that the understatement of the century.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    ep one was uncensored. fingers crossed for the disc.

  • Palpatine

    Who else is hoping for a Halloween BotW where the Show-Biz Pizza Bear returns?

  • Aye. I mean I.

  • Palpatine

    Maybe one of the other guys will come out of another room and scare Rich while dressed as the bear, causing him to scream at the top of his lungs. What a lovely sound that’ll be.

  • My ears curl up in fear cannot wait.

  • Palpatine

    Then Rich will get his fire extinguisher and spray it at the bear while Mike coughs and flails around over-dramatically.

  • tOmy`

    For a show that knew it’s gonna air on TV station that doesn’t allow swearing, they really love their “fucks”.

  • tOmy`

    Dunno if you heard this, but there have been some rumors about UN willing to call governments about legalizing drugs worldwide.

    So rejoice! Also: Don’t look at me that way, there is jack shit to talk about anyway. (c) Kylo Ren

  • Bubs

    I guess I’ll have to find some other reason to call my neighbors degenerate low life pieces of shit.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’m just hoping “Dick The Birthday Boy” t-shirts show up in the RLM bandcamp store.

  • TapewormBike

    Did someone say Chirpy?

  • Ogrot

    Chase sequence? With like movie parts, tracking cameras, and running? You trying to make George Lucas have to get out of his chair? He earned that chair. Fucking Wizard wants the man to risk spilling his coffee just because it might make the film more exciting. What an asshole.

  • tOmy`

    Are they? Or are they because they do drugs?

  • Bubs

    Oh, actually they’re really nice people. I don’t even think they smoke cigarettes.

  • tOmy`

    That is one of the few instances I would be against legalization of drugs.

    The other being having to buy weed in Apple-like shop that is gonna have an annoyingly “fresh” sales person, most likely named Kevin, fluorescent light and electro-swing as a proper hipster soundtrack.

    Ugh. I might stop smoking weed if that ever happens.

  • Palpatine

    Well, it’s an Internet rumor, so it must be true!

  • tOmy`

    Well, it is actually leaked UN document – and kind of a thing that everyone expects to happen at one point. War on drugs is a failure, we need money from taxation of drugs and the legislature needs to be same in all countries in order to properly “work” with drugs, people who take them and people who sell them.

    Apparently, it was drafted by UN Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) and should be mostly aimed at decriminalization of drugs, rather than full blown legalization.

  • tOmy`

    Fair to say: UN did say it wasn’t final or formal document. But I think it is yet another sign towards shift in politics.

  • Palpatine

    Honestly, the UN just plain sucks at its job.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    what’s a UN?

  • tOmy`

    Universe Nonexpanded.

  • TapewormBike

    Ur Nuts.

  • Let’s go back to the League of Nations.

  • tOmy`

    Well, according to some articles, they were under pressure about this law anyway – so no matter if the leaked document is indeed just bullshit or an actual plan, it doesn’t matter – they should start thinking about it anyway.

  • Marvin Falz

    League of Superheroes.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Governments worldwide have been unable to agree on laws regarding piracy, copyrights, etc. I don’t see why it would be different for this.

  • Marvin Falz

    I can’t make my mind up. They’re all pretty dumb. They also speak pretty dumb lines.

  • Palpatine

    You must really want global legalization of drugs, huh?

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    He still sounds like Admiral Bone-To-Pick, in any case.

  • Palpatine

    I wouldn’t mind legalization of non-lethal drugs like marijuana, but keep drugs that can kill you like cocaine, heroin, and meth illegal.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I hope there’s no literal dick the birthday boy if you know what I mean.

  • Niccageshair

    Let’s get back to the loose affiliations and alliances of the early 1900’s and hope no one shoots an archduke.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I haven’t seen Star Wars Rebels, even though a friend of mine is in the show, and I haven’t read the new comics, which I read are great, but apparently Darth was hunting down a bunch of Jedi and making “Force sensitives” join Darkseid-I MEAN THE DARKSIDE. Maybe he wants to burned on a lava planet.

  • Palpatine

    Ew.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So nerds who jerk off droid toys, is Star Wars Rebels worth watching?

  • Palpatine

    I haven’t watched it.

  • instant relief

    Urethra Needles?

  • Palpatine

    Uneducated Nimrods.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ursula’s Noodles?

  • THE DAWN OF JUSTICE.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    MEAN WHILE AT THE LEGION OF DOOM

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    It’s alright. Although that Ezra kid is annoying. And Earl James Jones doesn’t sound right for some reason.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh Christ, not a kid.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Kids in animation tend to be more tolerable than kids in movies, though. Probably because the actors can be older than the character. I guess I wouldn’t mind him if he wasn’t such a big focus.

  • That stuff is reserved for the bedroom.

    #Heyooooooo

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Whatever the case talkin’ secks stuff, Threepio’s a total bottom.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “That’s between me and my Internet Service Provider.”

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Niccageshair

    This is probably why Russia invaded. “We have to fix that statue.”-Putin

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Haha! What a story, Mark!

  • As a droid jerker, it’s not bad but gets old fast, like awkwardness in a man. I liked Clone Wars toon better.

  • Mike Magnum

    Holy Shnikes, What a reaction.

  • Palpatine

    Okay, now this looks like a real contender for the BotW Halloween episode:
    http://cdn.iofferphoto.com/img/item/606/284/698/o_look-what-s-happened-to-rosemary-s-baby-patty-duke-dvd-0347.jpg

  • Palpatine

    The one from 2003 or 2008?

  • Red Skeleton

    Is that “apostrophe-s” possessive (e.g. Jacob’s Ladder) or “apostrophe-s” contraction (e.g. Where’s The Beef?!)

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Is the Blu-Ray version of Obi-Wan’s Krayt dragon call sampled from Mr. Wint’s nut squeezer squeal?

    https://youtu.be/k5e5GjnyMHI?t=3m7s
    https://youtu.be/-yxuDU8gims?t=24s

    I’ll let you decide.

    But the answer is ‘yes’.

  • Like Icare

    So like… When’s the next anything?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    If they won’t review The Martian+Crimson Peak till the end of this month at least we’ll get a halloween themed BOTW. After that my money is on Spectre HiTB.

  • tOmy`

    Well, while I agree with you on this basis, let’s face it:

    Is cocaine lethal? Fuck no. Or let’s say: is meth lethal in the same way as heroin? Fuck no.

    I would hope that the decriminalization would also lead to better education about drugs (just like sex-ed in US, abstinence is not the only approach) and better understanding on how / when / why to take such drugs.

    I very strongly agree with the fact that heroin shouldn’t be available. But it always gonna be. So… isn’t it sorta smarter to… teach people about it? We could prevent a lot of ODs – the biggest “scarecrow” about heroin.

  • tOmy`

    You know, funny thing… I honestly don’t know, pal.

    Legalization (or decriminalization) of drugs leads to hundreds of possibilities about how are we gonna deal with this issue. The logical part of my brain wants to see this happen, wants to see how much we can improve “junkie’s” life, how much we can change the current mafia-ridden, gang-driven, od-finishing business. How can we, honestly, protect the youth. This legislative, if done right, should cover it.

    But the smaller part of me wants to buy weed from a guy I know, grab a beer or two after that and just… sorta keep it “underground”. For me, stupidly, this is a part of charm of such meeting / drugs. Granted, I do only weed and very, very sparingly lately, bu this “scene” has a culture. And corporate business taking over will destroy this culture.

  • Domo

    It’s not bad, but like WWYF said below, the Ezra guy has an annoying shtick. He’s like a mix of Aladdin and Luke Skywalker where he’s an impatient street kid who wants to prove himself and learn Jedi training overnight.

    It does feel like it’s a lot more in the Original trilogy wheelhouse. It’s a tiny rebel group doing little things to set back the Empire, and over time more and more things reveal themselves. The last 3 episodes are kinda wonderful.

    The show just takes a long time to get to where it wants to go, but I feel it’s worth the wait to get there.

  • tOmy`

    I saw small portion of Clone Wars and for what it’s worth: It’s not totally bad. You have to have a certain mindset to approach this and in the end, it won’t fucking kill you.

    I think that is somewhat positive. Now with that in mind:

    I heard Rebels are better. So I assume… could be worth a serious watch? On my list for some time now…

  • tOmy`

    So… there is apparently an Inland Empire trailer… why? I have no clue. Is it as fucked as you would imagine? Totally!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsF7D02RO4A

    #HailToTheKing

  • fred

    trick ‘r treat is the best movie ever made.

  • tOmy`

    I am very sorry I ruined the rouse by talking about actual director and actual movie, so here:

    On April 28, 2011, US broadcaster Glenn Beck labelled the My Chemical Romance song “Sing” as “propaganda” after it was featured and covered on the US musical drama TV series Glee in February 2011. Beck stated “It’s an anthem saying ‘Join us’. How can you and I possibly win against that?” The lyrics that Beck pointed out were: “Cleaned up corporation progress, dying in the process / Children that can talk about it living on the railways [sic] / People moving sideways / Sell it till your last days / Buy yourself the motivation / Generation nothing / Nothing but a dead scene / Product of a white dream”. Gerard Way responded to the accusation on the band’s official website, writing, “I think the word Glenn Beck was looking for was ‘subversion’ not ‘propaganda’, because I don’t know what it would be considered propaganda for—truth? Sentiment?” He also said that he was “shocked that no actual fact-checking was done on the lyrics”.

  • fred

    are you talking to yourself again?

  • tOmy`

    Look, fred, let’s be honest here:

  • tOmy`

    maybe?

  • tOmy`

    I WANNA TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME LYNCH IS!!!!!!!!!

  • tOmy`

    Piracy doesn’t kill people.

  • Palpatine

    David Lynch?

  • tOmy`

    Yes. He made a great album.

    (No, really, he did….)

    But as a filmmaker.

  • Palpatine

    He almost directed Return of the Jedi. Can you imagine what that would’ve been like?

  • tOmy`

    There is a fan trailer of it!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PALjbTo1D5U

    It’s superb!

  • Niccageshair

    Marshawn Lynch is pretty awesome.

  • Lost Highway at the beginning. Subtle.

  • tOmy`

    All I wanted from the new Star Wars trailer is Kylo Ren looking to the camera and saying:

    “That gum you like is going to come back in style.”

    It works on two different levels. One of them is crap.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    this movie is like re-experiencing your most vivid nightmares…while being completely awake. I can only compare it to von trier’s Antichrist in how effortlessly it creates a one of a kind mood that makes you squirm from sheer terror even when there’s nothing happening in a scene. You can admire it and hate it in equal measure.

  • tOmy`

    I am from Europe, we don’t give a flying freak about NHL.

  • tOmy`

    I still have no clue what the hell happened – but my emotional state changed and shifted during the viewing and at the end, I felt somewhat content… like there was some kind of resolution.

    I am not sure whether that was exactly what the movie was aiming for, but for me, it delivered. I… I had an experience.

    #ThingsDouchebagsSay

  • Palpatine

    I’ll be honest, the only Lynch film I’ve seen is The Elephant Man, one of the few movies to make me cry.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yeah, shit.

  • Palpatine

    You don’t like David Lynch?

  • tOmy`

    My father took my to the cinema to see Elephant Man. I was… well, let’s say too young to actually witness it.

    Yes, I am using “witness”.

    I want my childhood back.

  • tOmy`

    Nah. It would be Empire-meets-Dune-meets-WTF.

    Could have been great. Maybe. Or maybe not. But I don’t think Lynch would fuck up.

  • Palpatine

    Did it scare you?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    those are some of my favorite movies.

    #experiences should be an offcial genre

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes, but not directing science fiction or space operas.
    What I like:
    Elephant Man
    Blue Velvet
    Eraserhead
    Wild at Heart
    some of Twin Peaks
    The rest I don’t like or haven’t seen

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I think he fucked up with Dune. Jedi would probably turn out the same-too much studio control.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    He fucked Dune up pretty bad, but not as bad as Jorowoski would have..

  • tOmy`

    Well, I was like… 12?

    My father used to show me “the cool stuff”. Like… when my mother wasn’t at home, he was happy to play Aliens just for shits and giggles.

    (Funny thing: That is one of my first memories of movies. Me being sad about “the good robot dying”. I wasn’t that scared of aliens, I just really liked Bishop.)

    But Elephant Man in cinema… that was… too fucked up for a young kid. Back then, I could hardly appreciate the “artsy” stuff, it was just shocking shit.

  • LuckyProf

    This is sublime.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Lynch worked with my favorite cutie Karen O.

  • tOmy`

    Well, he himself walked out. Just like he did on Kanye’s videoclip.

    At least he has some self-control. Unlike poor old Harrison.

  • Palpatine

    What year did it come out in the Czech Republic?

  • tOmy`

    Man, no clue. I don’t think it ever had a proper full release (the movie itself is from 1980, full 9 years before we even had a proper chance to see such movies freely, you know?)

    We just sorta saw it in some random cinema, because our cinemas do this kinda stuff. The last time I have seen Elephant Man playing in my city was like a year ago. Lost Highway had a special feature this summer.

  • Palpatine

    You got to hand it to John Hurt for doing that film wearing all that makeup. If they made it now, the actor would have those motion capture dots on his face and it’d be all CGI.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Good movie. It was Mel Brook’s first Brooks Films film….

  • tOmy`

    I am gonna be honest: Not exactly mine.

    I love to dissect and examine Mulholland / Highway under microscope, because it is a sorta journey for understanding of the plot / time line.

    But in the case of Inland Empire, I sorta felt OKay with not getting it. I know there is a story buried in it somewhere, but unlike in the case of two movies I just mentioned, this time it just doesn’t matter. It was a great roller coaster of emotions (and great horror, by the way, there is some properly scary shit) and I felt comfortable with leaving it like that.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of Lynch: You all most likely know what’s coming:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIMTg5lHWyM (95k views? What in the name of Game of Thrones is wrong with you, people?)

    And I am looking forward to it more than Star Wars. This is the moment when one of my last surviving movie-making people will either succeed or join the army of Ridley-Scottish Paradise Lo- I am sorry, I can’t even pronounce the name of new Prometheus.

    If this fails… well, fuck it, you found your new GrumPa. Or at least a second in command to new GrumPa (dscw is on the case already).

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This is the greatest mash up ever

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agcc7w8YmHo

  • tOmy`

    I have to ask, with all this Star Wars shit going around: When was the last time you actually saw the OT?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Four months ago

  • tOmy`

    Honest question: Why?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s Star Wars.

  • Amontillado

    Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh…three years ago?

  • Amontillado

    My body is ready.

  • Niccageshair
  • Amontillado

    seriously where do you find these?

  • Amontillado

    NFL? NHL is hockey tOmy, if that is your real name.

  • Amontillado

    Who knew Marshawn Lynch could direct!

  • Amontillado

    Patience paduan, patience

  • Amontillado

    Unitard Naggerwaggers.

  • Amontillado

    I want it and FuckBot3000 to copulate and create a new cyborg bear known as ShowbizFuckBot4000. Every January it shows up to remind you that, Fuck You, It’s January and then proceeds to maul you, and reproduce with your body postmortem.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Star Wars was on tv last night, first time in 2 years.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Chewie, we’re at our new home

    http://i.imgur.com/0utkVVD.jpg

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The squeaky chair was hilarious.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    read the original Paradise Lost. its haunting.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Tuesday.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Australia is setting up laws right now for medicinal cannabis. The first step on the slippery slope to bong town.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    FuckBot is a 5000 series.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Palpatine

    So is The Nightmare Before Christmas a Halloween movie, a Christmas movie, or both? For me, it’s both.

  • Bubs

    Yeah, I love me a good lynching. Here’s an oldie but a goldie.

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/78/ThomasShippAbramSmith.jpg

  • Palpatine

    That’s what my real voice sounds like. They dubbed me with a British accent to make me a bad guy.

  • Bubs

    Both. Just like Gremlins.

  • Imaf

    And Die Hard.

  • Palpatine

    Well then again, the Halloween stuff in Nightmare is ditched about 15 minutes in.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    When I was a little kid. Kinda watched the first movie again a couple of years ago, because I needed to for work.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I like Mulholland Dr. and Lost Highway too. I want to see The Straight Story.

  • Alex Lee

    Produced by Mel Brooks.

  • Alex Lee

    Despite turning into a cynical tie-in to Episode III, 2003 is vastly better than the 2008 version.

  • Palpatine

    It’s been quite a while since I last watched any Star Wars film.

  • Alex Lee

    “Obi Wan into an amoral manipulative bastard.”

    As I recall, Mifune’s character in The Hidden Fortress was kind of a prick. Like when he let Tahei and Matsushiro climb the steep gravel hill when there was a hidden path nearby (ugh, why didn’t anyone upload it, that scene was funny).

  • Alex Lee

    In the most unfunny way possible. Like, Obi-Wan couldn’t be Indiana Jones about it, but that kind of joke was in there anyways.

  • Alex Lee
  • Alex Lee

    It does seem to imply that gay stereotypes aren’t so…outlandish.

  • Buk Pravon

    Two months ago.

    Before that I hadn’t seen them for almost 15 years.

    Didn’t aged well.

  • bleurgh

    I just don’t like that Obi Wan talks about Lukes father and describes him as ‘a close friend’ then immediately talks about his ex-pupil Vadar who was a raging asshole. It makes Obi Wan seem insane. No-one seems to agree with me that Obi Wan killing Lukes father is the better twist though. I like to imagine that Obi was warrior for the first wave of the resistance and saw that the resistance movement was falling apart and was forced to kill Lukes father to settle a debt or save himself somehow. Then the guilt of having done so haunts him so much that he tries to unite Luke with the new resistance movement. It explains why he came out of hiding and wants to destroy the empire in the first fim. He’s trying to redeem himself.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    I have absolutely no idea. I know the films like my hairy palms so I’ve really only just watched individual scenes now and then.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    I came across this once while looking up videos of Mark Hamill and voice acting.

  • TapewormBike

    Wow, really? It’s been about a year since I watched Star Wars and Empire and can’t say I had a problem with the aged visuals.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Back when they were released on blu-ray so around 2011 or 2012? I even rewatched the prequels back then as well just to refresh the entire series in my mind.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Here’s a question: Is the blu-ray picture quality worth the worst version of the films?

  • Buk Pravon

    Hmmm… most of the visuals are… okay. Not fine, but okay enough. They were state of the art and I can appreciate that to a certain point.

    Maybe I put it wrong up there. :/ It’s more the effect of the movies on my mind nowadays in comparison to the effect of them in my childhood days. Back then they filled me with wonder and excitement. Now I just feel bored while watching them. And not just because I know them by heart anyway. The flaws seem bigger and more obvious to me. I can’t ignore them for the sake of diving into the story, like I could before. Plus: I’m not hyped by lightsabers any more.

    I just stopped liking these films. 🙁 It’s a little bit sad… but at least I now can look at all the exploiting of the franchise with the amount of disgust it deserves. 🙂 It’s a good replacement for the joy I had with it as a kid. 😀

    PS: I still don’t think that the original movies need any sequels. … They can storywise hardly be better than a fanfiction of a twelve year old. Because most filmmakers today weren’t much older when the original movies came out. … Last sentence to help you getting into my mindset: I never had any SW-Toys and I don’t think that there is a need for them to exist at all.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I mean…if you’re gonna rewatch those POS movies might as well do it in a quality that compliments the CGI.

  • Like Icare

    As my doctor friend tells me, patients are rough and course and they get everywhere.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    No, no, I meant the original trilogy. With the worst changes and all.

  • TapewormBike

    I know, but then, I do like limes a lot.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    oh. well it was a weird experiences. some changes are so unnecessary and pointless you’re left in an awe of confusion and others are so misguided and atrocious they ruin iconic scenes. Thankfully Empire still stands for the most part as great of a movie as it is with or without changes.

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  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    McLaren F1 HAHAHAHA! the spam finally went insane.

  • It’s only a model.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    But she is earning the big $pam buck$? cant she afford the remote controlled version?

  • Batteries don’t grow on trees.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Fucking lazy trees!

  • Can’t remember. I probably watched the prequels more often because they were actually on TV. I imagine tv stations might want to capitalize on the Star Wars craze that is to come and they’ll air the OT.

  • Holiday Synergy. The corporate heads must have loved the idea.

  • instant relief

    Camelot!

  • instant relief

    Can I fondle your bonus opportunities?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Tis a silly place.

  • Like Icare

    Regarding sequels…

    They don’t need any sequels NOW.

    There is that famous line (well… often mentioned in relation to that topic) by Spielberg about the ending of Close Encounters and Roy leaving with the aliens in the end. SPOILERS!
    How, now that he’s a father, he’d never write it that way, with Roy leaving his bimbo wife and annoying retarded kids.
    Seriously, they are walking, screaming undiagnosed mental cases with learning difficulties.
    Hey! Spielberg made that case for acceptable “fuck off with the aliens and leave family behind” conditions – not me.

    Thing is… His quest would be meaningless if he does not go with the aliens in the end. And so would the entire movie as he is the central character. Though personally I’d find a movie from the perspective of Truffaut’s Lacombe far more interesting.

    But that movie can never be made now.
    Truffaut is dead, Spielberg’s a dad and he went to Auschwitz and seen the crematoria.
    Can’t get there from here any more.

    And it’s not just the age (or change) of the actors and directors and the changes in their personal views of the world or the tech and techniques of filming – the world has moved on.
    When the biggest waves about Star Wars when the trailers hit were race and gender of the leads in the movie and not awe and wonder and excitement about the fantasy and adventure of it… the world has moved the fuck on.

    Had they made sequels back in late ’80s-early ’90s… those would have been as what The Last Crusade was to the Raiders.
    More of the same.

    Prequels and these new ones are more of the new.
    Desperately trying to continue a broken story where a reboot or a restart is needed.

  • It’s just a Christmas movie. Christmas Vacation 2 is a true Christmas/horror movie. And when I say movie I mean cancer.

    #neverforgive

  • I think Kylo Ren is an Uuursa.

  • I have a normal job and a normal education and at least I can spell… sorta… coulda… woulda… fade to black, gunshot…

  • instant relief

    There are some who call me……… Tim.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    That’s no ordinary rabbit!

  • tOmy`

    I know, it was a joke (I had to google the guy).

    We are actually quite big on NHL.

  • tOmy`

    Well, she didn’t say it was a great McLaren F1, just your usual, average McLaren F1.

  • He’s a fucking bear?

  • I get the feeling that we’ll have to wait till 31st for new content.

  • Jens

    Oh My..faith in old Movies…have I Drink on Me.

    Bette Davis 1989 Entertainment

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkH4kNaSsV4
    Cheers…

  • instant relief

    Sounds like a quote from The Force Awakens, AMIRITE?

  • instant relief
  • tOmy`

    Somebody else guessing that Space Cop will have the premier on the same day as Star Wars?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Episode IX you mean? yeah maybe Space Cop will be just in time for that one.

  • tOmy`

    Episode IX?!

    ARE THEY STILL MAKING THOSE?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    At least two SW movies per year. A more intense version of Marvel’s cinematic universe. IT’S GONNA BE GREAT

  • Begun the franchise wars has. Buckaroo Banzai will of course sweep the floor with them. It clearly has the best universe.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I heard those stories. And all of them are true.

  • Making a new Star Wars was a terrible idea. You know what was a great idea? Rock the Kasbah.
    http://www.avclub.com/review/rock-kasbah-smaller-dumber-ishtar-227183

  • tOmy`

    Oh, DInner Party was really great. I think 4 seasons were enough for me for the time being.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    When I said that I wanted to have kids and you said that you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then, when you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn’t so sure? Who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn’t wanna have kids? Who had it reversed back? Snip snap snip snap snip snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    This should be the movie RLM reviews for their 100th episode.

  • Captain Turbo

    All movies with Bill Murray are automatically awesome.

  • tOmy`

    I loved the slowly building tension. I think this was the first time in the show when they went for such thing. It was refreshing and pretty clever.

    The rest of the season was still pretty good. I cannot decide whether I like the 25 minutes or 40 minutes format more, but it works rather well. But by now, I think I finally know every character there is and that leaves the typical sitcom issue:

    It won’t get any more surprising, it just a matter of whether it is funny or not.

    Plus, I honestly don’t care for the new HR chick. I might finish it one day, because it was far from bad, but the time has come to get angry at Constantine.

  • bassbait

    I had a dream where I got to see star wars 7 before it came out. It started with standing in a room and talking. It didn’t get any better from there.

  • bassbait

    It’s both. It’s a shame skellington never went into thanksgivingland though.

  • tOmy`

    You know, speaking about Constantine: Did you folks like the movie?

    I have to say I still pretty much adore it, despite it being pretty bad Hellblazer adaptation.

  • Captain Turbo

    I thought that was another Matrix sequel.

  • tOmy`

    I wish it was.

  • bassbait

    The difference between lynch and scott is that lynch has an almost perfect track record to this point. If he fucks up once there’s still tons of room before we can say he’s a tired old hack.

  • bassbait

    He said in an interview that he was nowhere near directing jedi. He only met with Lucas because his agent told him it’d be a good idea, but he really didn’t want to direct jedi.

  • bassbait

    My childhood was part chitty chitty bang bang, part godzilla, part terminator and part hellraiser. I was destined to be a cynic

  • Captain Turbo

    The Dark Knights of Pooh

  • bassbait

    I’m gonna rewatch it soon and then try to figure out what it *means*. It’s like 3 hours long so I might have to watch it in intervals. I loved it except for the video quality.

  • bassbait

    I can talk about how awesome lynch is forever. Ever tried to watch rabbits?

  • TapewormBike

    I wonder if I ever watched SW naked.

  • instant relief

    Do you want more Matrix sequels/prequels/midquels?

  • instant relief

    Haven’t had a panic attack today? Well, rejoice… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo7_qW4pPrc

  • tOmy`

    No. I want Constantine to be the only sequel to Matrix.

    It would even make more sense.

  • tOmy`

    Man, I don’t think I have seen the Blu Ray version.

  • Jens

    The New Star Wars is Here….Oh…
    Panic…
    http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/empirestrikesback/luke-face.gif

  • Marvin Falz

    The lack of light sabres is disturbing. No, I actually like All About Eve and prefer it to SW VII.

  • RLMkeepitup

    god damnit i just realized the Nooooo Luke says was the same one vader did in episode III. Poetry my ass.

  • Marvin Falz

    It’s a Muppets movie guest starring Freddy Krueger wearing little light sabres instead of razors. Oh my god, all I have is Star Wars in my brain.

  • Marvin Falz

    Some months ago.

  • Palpatine

    You’re just now realizing there’s a new Star Wars coming out? Were you in a coma the last three years?

  • Jens

    Dear Palpatine..
    I have been in a coma for 300 years…
    So i need all the help to Wake up…Please.

  • Marvin Falz

    I hate the Nooooo in RotJ even more than the Nooooo in RotS.

  • RLMkeepitup

    and from the look of the trailer he might try doing it again..

  • instant relief

    But cinema hasn’t had enough bullet time!

  • Like Icare

    It’s cause it has twice the Weisz, right?

    Personally, I find it not terrible as a movie. It’s OK.
    As a Hellblazer adaptation it’s crap, but as a generic Magic&Mystery movie (Like that? I just made that up. Copyright pending.) it is just fine.
    Two things it could lose – Shia and the Golden Crucifix Shotgun. Feel free to use that as a band name.
    Then again, we do get this lovely scene of Shia being killed by being bounced off the ceiling so…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHYGbrtgsn0

    But oh the talent… Tilda Swinton and Peter Stormare are simply wonderful.
    Keanu is perfectly fine though nothing exceptional, while P.T. Vince and Huonsou certainly add flavor of “different and odd” to the movie.
    Can’t really judge Weisz, as back then she used to irritate me on a subconscious level. Can’t really say why. It lasted for years and then it just stopped.
    Maybe she reminded me of a highschool sweetheart… and a cause for a drunken night or two. But that makes no sense as I always associated Carla Gugino with her. And I never lost a thing I had for Carla nor did she ever irritate me. Meh…

    Sad thing is… Story in Constantine is pretty generic nowadays.
    I mean… every other show, movie, book and video game has done that already.
    But all in all… the movie is a sum of some pretty great and some not so great parts.

  • instant relief

    You refer to the prophecy of The One who will bring balance to the Force.

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  • instant relief
  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    How is a job that pays 60-90 dollars an hour a “free time job for extra cash”? Wait, now you’re saying you earned 13 lousy bucks in 20 hours? Which one is it? 60-90 or 1,45?

    I’m sorry, Miss Cockley, but you’re not making a lick of sense.

  • Jens

    Or maybe it could be A one..?
    For all I Know it could be you or Me…!
    Oh My..I am still Dizzy…after 300 years…
    Kind Regards.

  • New Reused content! What a value! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Rl2NI5MKRw

  • TapewormBike

    Them sweet extra views.

  • The frauds spoiled the ending of the episode. Good luck with getting people to watch the whole thing.

  • tOmy`

    It’s like acetone, in burns your crotch.

  • tOmy`

    I always find it a bit curious that for a person whose only job description is typing on a keyboard, they all pretty much fucking suck at that.

    I know I am reaching a bit, but I think she might not be what she says she is. Then again, bra.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Well, I laughed so fuck you!

  • TapewormBike

    Bra, bruh!

  • tOmy`

    So I am two episodes into Constantine and I wish my life had some sort of a load option, meaning and / or direction.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    yrdsrth

  • TapewormBike

    If you manage to drink the right amount, it sorta has that.

    Life hack!

  • You’re easy to please.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    honest question:why did you bothered with it? I know Tv shows are like your “thing” but surely there’s plently of good ones you haven’t seen yet as opposed to…that?

  • tOmy`

    Well, I wanna do the “scary Halloween” run of this, Hannibal and AHS.

    Also I like Hellblazer and I wanted to see why this didn’t work out. It’s actually rather watchable (so far), but the choices made are just baffling. Can’t help to wonder how would it pan out in someone else’s, more capable hands.

  • My ex wife

    Did you go over to a window at any point?

  • TapewormBike

    Would you care to sorta tell me what those baffling choices are? I kinda imagine it could not be weirder than some of the stuff Constantine (totes watchable movie) did.

  • Palpatine

    Wow, RLM shows so much contempt for their audience! We must thank them for it. Well, I’m off to sacrifice a lamb for Rich Evans.

  • Marvin Falz

    Nooooo.

    (I haven’t watched the trailer yet. Is it that bad? I don’t want to ruin my Star Wars experience as I did with the Prequels.)

  • tOmy`

    It is utterly rushed so it doesn’t really capture any atmosphere. If the show was even slightly faster, I would have sworn my fast-forward is locked.

    Sometimes, they absolutely nUKe the British origin of John, bruv. It’s always for sentence or two, where he goes so British that Liverpool working class might find this rather stereotypical. He even says he had 90 quid in wallet. But the show takes place in America, so… you know… what?

    Also it feels like they don’t know what they have in hand. For example, the second episode deals with spirits of dead miners haunting a coal mine in some rural shittown, Pennsylvania. Sound like a good premise, however the whole mine scene is about 4 shots done in one minute and the rest of the episode takes place in a brightly lit, charmingly autumn-ish outdoors. That’s… weird.

    But that pretty much paints the whole “rushed” aspect – there are so many cool ideas and creepy sequences that would just play out much better if the show took a deep breath and let them stand out more.

  • My ex wife

    These guys should totally get together!

    http://www.falconhouseresidentialhome.co.uk/

  • TapewormBike

    Eh. Why does everyone keep touching Hellblazer to not actually do anything with it?

  • tOmy`

    As someone pointed out, they just needed to fill the time inbetween Hannibal seasons, so they picked up “the next scary stuff” off the shelf without thinking.

    We can’t show him smoking, we can’t see him fucking, it all has to be very clean and… respectable. No clue why did the pick this one up, but hey. This should have been a slow burning HBO show, not a mystery-case-a-week attempt at badassery.

  • WrongWithYourFacium Leviosa

    Poe Dameron?

  • TapewormBike

    Man, imagine if HBO had a proper budget and tried Swamp Thing based on Moore’s run.

  • RLMkeepitup

    my bad I assumed it was hammill doing the yelling closeup

  • TapewormBike

    What parody or funny take on SW did you guys enjoy/find actually funny? I was allright with some parts of the Family Guy stuff, as well as Robot Chicken specials. The tiny podcast Different Point of View is probably my favourite.

  • TapewormBike

    I blame Andrew.

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  • Marvin Falz

    For spamming.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Spaceballs