Red Letter Media Talks About Prometheus [SPOILERS]

June 12, 2012575 Comments




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Filed in: General UpdatesHalf in the Bag

  • http://www.facebook.com/jason.emmerson Jason Emmerson

    Many of my questions as well. Fantastic!

  • http://awesomesaucestudio.blogspot.com/ BuFFo

    I agree… Beautiful looking movie, but hack script with terrible characters written by an idiot who continues to get a job in Hollywood for his ability to confuse audiences into thinking what he writes must be deep and good, when in the end, the audience is just stupid.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pierre.larsson.9 Pierre Larsson

    Reminds me of Mr Plinkett ^^

  • m0r1arty

    Hey, you just took all our questions from your earlier review and used them as material.

    Crafty!!

    So I take it you guys didn’t like it either then?

  • Jakob

     I laughed more during this 4 minute clip than during any recent comedy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/braddscharping Bradd Scharping

    Ah man. You guys are so freaking hilarious.

  • Ridley Scott

    Hehehe… i love it.
    I will design my room the same, its so nice!

  • phillysportsfan

    “All will be revealed in James Cameron’s Prometheuses” 

    not my line, hence the quotation marks.
     

  • Damon LIndelof

    Puh – it would be NICE if someone would have asked me these questions BEFORE it came to cinemas. Next time i will ask you… Now i go to mama to cry… and maybe i will watch some LOST to get even MORE frustrated…

  • Lark

    This is a pretty good substitute for a Plinkett Review considering you can’t get footage (legally) for a film that isn’t released on DVD yet. You asked all the right plot-hole questions to keep me laughing, including a lot I hadn’t even thought of.
    You could probably roll off a few of these for different films in a much shorter time than it takes to do a full Plinkett.

  • blastor138

     I take it one guy sort of liked it and the other didn’t.

  • http://twitter.com/djbeema Reuben

    Oh that was marvelous. The sad thing is, some fans have come up with theories to explain all that stuff. But I think more to the point is that if you need a fanboy to write a 3 page blog post to explain your movie, then you did something wrong. 

  • Chestburster

    &$§a….§45&%$….2342-….R2D2…..&&§§§$ !!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas

    Whhhhhyyyy???

    Also – Yes David was a secret arsehole.

  • Garaya

    Why are people talking crap about mythology when the movie is so badly told!? I walked out of the IMAX having to say “yes, it looks great but it doesn’t make sense because…” only I didn’t call it a grey alien penis but a space snake lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas

    Even better, there’s one guy getting shitting on the youtube channel that RLM is mocking his previous posts. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

    Wow, thanks for pointing to the fact that it wasn’t your comment. (Sheesh, kids these days…)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

    Questions left over by a movie are not “plot holes.” You’re not a movie genius and you didn’t uncover any “plot holes.” Remember, it’s just the internet and you’re not really a movie critic. The internet just makes you feel like a movie genius by giving you a platform to write stuff that makes you sound really intelligent.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DRMR25YG3IN2R4P77NULCP2YUA Someone

    Yes! Those questions did popped into my mind during and after the movie.

    Funny. Almost like a Plinkett’s Review Lite. Is this a new feature?

  • Guest

     Isn’t that basically what you’re doing here as well?

    Also, watch their entire review on the main page. It’s very level-headed and fair. This was clearly done just for comedic effect.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas

    I think only if the forums provide so much material.

  • Tomalerola

    Then the film is really about a group of porn cientists, being sent to a planet made of alien sperm? looks amazing! has double penetration? blowjobs? They are actually porn stars? 
    I thought they were from another area, inside the film business… but ok! 
    Could have women of other ethnic groups too, not to mention the android become a vibrator, promises plenty of action! I liked the plot! 

    Ridley Scott destroys James Cameron! Her alien sperm, promises something more fluid, and not a retarded “blue avatar” without dick or pussy! who like to fuck using the tip of the tail… was the worst porn I have ever seen!

    Is wrong to use animation to make pornography, actors and actresses are essential!

  • http://www.facebook.com/MarrowMan William David MacLellan

     That’s because Mike IS Mr. Plinkett. (at least he is in the Plinkett Reviews {off camera})

  • Someone_2

    He’s the same man who does Plinkett.

  • Tyler

     you, my friend are an idiot. The point of this short was not to point out “plot holes”. It was to make fun of the fact that modern audiences hate having to think, as exemplified by the last 10 seconds or so of the short.

  • snqrls

     Can’t explain all the inconsistencies without some heavy dose of forgetting it.

  • I like ants

    Well, then they have failed as other than the last bit where the items are purposefully unanswered questions, the rest are glaring mistakes in that shite movie. 

    They didn’t even come close to listing them all.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DRMR25YG3IN2R4P77NULCP2YUA Someone

    I know he’s Plinkett’s voice. My favourite part of his reviews is when he asked “How…” or “How do you know that?” and then the guy from the Star Trek review would ask questions/logic about a character or scene’s logic. Those elements are here in this short video so I’m wondering if it a new LITE version of Plinkett asking the logic of stuff in movies. Since they can’t make a true Plinkett review, now,  so I assume they are trying some of its elements in a new LITE form.

    Prometheus does raise a lot of questions and  I had a lot of fun reading up about what others think of those questions. Now Red Letter Media had opened up another can of worms for me to follow up.

  • Daniel

    This is more like it. I don’t believe that highly-detailed CGI and an interesting premise are enough to make a good movie.

    A good script will *almost* always make a good movie, and Prometheus certainly doesn’t have that. As with The Phantom Menace, it gives the impression of having been written in one draft, and Ridley Scott decided to just go with it, without anyone telling him that it made no sense, or was a stupid incoherent mess.

    (And yes, I’m well aware that Ridley wasn’t the one who wrote the Prometheus screenplay, but he did OK it, so he must shoulder much, if not all, of the blame.)

  • snqrls

     Most of them at least.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DRMR25YG3IN2R4P77NULCP2YUA Someone

    A biologist who is scared with an alien body. A geologist who let loose a pack of geological mapping probes got lost. The standard hippie mentality “We’re visiting a possibly hostile alien planet, so leave your guns on the ship.”

    Should’ve have known better.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

    Hey, you forgot to ask, “If the Engineers failed in their first mission to Earth, why didn’t they just send another and another until they finally succeeded?”

  • Dayy

    Genius. Thanks guys. That’s the best kind of review possible for this movie, imo.

  • Ryan Hill

    I can’t think of any other movies that Ridley Scott has done that seem like he’s trying to be “deep and good”. Blade Runner and Alien were great, but since then a lot of the stuff he’s done doesn’t really had the intention of being intellectual, and “deep”. Robin Hood? Gladiator? Black Hawk Down? Kingdom of Heaven? American Gangster? Wait, which one is the attempted “deep” and intellectual movie? I won’t defend Prometheus, but the rest of his movies as of late don’t really try to be anything like it. 

  • Ryan Hill

    He probably could have gone on for another 30 minutes with the questions. So many questions. Like, why does the medical pod only do operations on men? How would you build such a thing? Wouldn’t it immediately detect that she was a woman when she tried to perform the manual operation if it was built to only work for men? Why didn’t they take anyone with the ability to defend them on the ship if they knew there was a chance they would be making First Contact? Why did they shock the head and why would that make it explode? Why was Shaw walking around the ship acting like an emotionless weirdo for parts of the movie? Were they insinuating that she may have been an android like David? 

  • http://www.facebook.com/Dark.Reaper.and.Galactimus.Zero Marvin Choi

    I like how you completely missed the point.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jmurray12 James Murray

    Initially I thought that Prometheus was pretty good, and I really enjoyed it. I thought that the “plot holes” could be easily explained one way or another. This is true for some of the questions people have been asking, but you’re right, people’s motivations in this film are really not well defined. You, as always, have done an excellent job at demonstrating the flaws of this movie. I also thought your prometheus review was very fair. Thanks guys.

  • Stephenba91

    Shaw mentioned near the end of the movie that the Engineer tried to kill us, but changed his mind.  When did that last Engineer change his mind?  He was stopped by having his ship rammed.  Did Captain Tokenblack hail the Engineer and talk him down, only for Punk Sulu to get carried away and ram the ship anyway?  

    I do have an answer for the scientists ignoring any sense of safety, scientific method, or common sense.  It’s basically the twist from The Cabin in the Woods, except it’s The Planet in the Space.  It’s the only possible explanation.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas
  • Guest

    Black baby Jesus is confused as well. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=518497373 Bartosz Sz

     He’s talking about Lindelof bro.

    And he’s right. The guy just uses MYSTERY to hide the fact that he can’t write a cohesive story for shit.

  • Perdidopacas

    So… the aliens use her own sperm to create humans? or they make sex with dinosaurs to make humans?

    Is the “Space Jockey” a Joke? a giant alien with a dildo in the face, who fucks dinossaurs, and get mad, after see humans born from reptiles? then he sends a asteroid, to destroy all… is that? 

    The transformers, autoboobs… they use the same asteroid, to reach the moon? and are waiting for the human race evolve from reptiles to apes… until you reach the homosapiens? and finally contact with homosexuals, the current stage… or would be another homo… erectus? ok?

    The feeling of fucked, is normal, after watch all these modern films?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

    Star Wars tie in: “Ridley Scott hath made a prequel to Alien.” “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

    I can answer one! The two guys got lost because captain black and warrant officer crunt were rutting, so they didn’t get guided. Oh wait…they got lost before that. Ok, never mind.

    “A plot hole, or plothole, is a gap or inconsistency in a storyline that goes against the flow of logic established by the story’s plot, or constitutes a blatant omission of relevant information regarding the plot.” –Wikipedia

    So, the scientist being scared of a corpse but then petting a hissing space cobra, that’s a pretty good plot hole there. He’s acting purely in service of an abrupt shift in the story in order to build suspense and then have a horror setpiece…but done stupidly.

    BUUUUUT

    Not knowing why the engineers turned into punch-happy genocidal maniacs…that’s not so much a plot hole as something that’s stupid. It’s ok to have a mystery or two or three in a movie if the story and characters warrant it. But since so much else was stupid, this particular stupidness becomes hard to forgive.

    It may be that Mike and Jay are making fun of people who are nitpicking Prometheus. It could be that they agree that these flaws are very distracting. It could be both!

    Whichever way…let me suggest that I didn’t give a shit about the flying invisible aircraft carrier in Avengers, nor Iron Man surviving a dangerous thing at the end in the most preposterously convenient coincidental timing accident. I didn’t mind those flaws…because it was a good movie with a good story, acting, and writing.

    Cuz if it had just had nice effects and one really interesting character, we’d be talking about how some people will just hate on anything just to be cool…but in regard to The Avengers.
     

  • Oapartyrock

    Well let’s get down to brass tacks: this film is hilarious.

    Guy Pearce in an old man suit appears out of nowhere, says “i want immortality,” and then gets bludgeoned to death with Michael Fassbender’s still-conscious severed head. This is funny. No, it’s the funniest film I’ve seen in theatres since District 9.

    Weyland’s death is a stock ironic comeuppance played for extreme camp. The film glosses over it because it know that this is a trope. The glib speed with which it dismisses the search for immortality is the same with which it dismisses all the other characters’ motivations. Dude say he wants money? DIES. Dude says he wants friendship? DIES. These aren’t random deaths. They are equated by this same tone and attitude. Humans are stupid and die because they’re stupid.

    David reads Liz Shaw’s dreams and then tells her straight up: you are a shallow character. Her dream looks like a hallmark card. “Your entire motivation is that you’re infertile and your dad died of Ebola. I just summarized it in two sentences.” The moral: robots don’t have souls, and neither do people. But the robot is smarter because he understands this. If you’ve seen Blade Runner, you know what the warm-toned recording of the dream of a happy family means. It means she’s a replicant.

    “It’s a quote from a movie I like.”

    Look at the specific quote from Lawrence of Arabia: ‘the trick is not minding that it hurts’. David’s character feels everything the humans feel, but he doesn’t mind it. He’s built up his ironic distance, he constructs his own identity and puts on an incredibly campy performance. The whole film aligns with his POV. As I said in general chat, Prometheus is a masterpiece of straight-faced camp.

    The very first shot is quoted from 2001 (it’s a quote from a movie I like). Prometheus is transparently Scott’s grand statement on Science Fiction as a genre. It’s not ‘hard’ science fiction. It’s “Science Fiction”, deeply embedded in quotation marks. The Prometheus/Pandora myth is like Scifi 101, first day of class. It’s THE example of mythological proto-scifi. It’s referenced in Frankenstein, the first piece of Science-Fiction literature. Alien references it. The films that Alien references reference it. The films that reference Alien reference it.

    So the characters fly into space seeking all the answers to their questions, and what do they find? A rational, promethan man locked in an unending struggle against a irrational, pandoric vagina monster. Just slapping against eachother until there is a literal, onscreen shuddering climax and postcoital release. Again: this is funny! You can imagine people staring at this scene and saying “hmm… what does this all mean?” Or, better yet: “how did the squid monster grow so big without a food source?” – just angrily looking for logical clues in this prolonged sequence of a vagina and penis locked in combat. 

    Scott’s grand statement on sci-fi is to issue a moratorium. The point of Prometheus is that these stories pretty much always boil down to the same basic archetypal conflict. The humans are painfully mundane – they are all artificial. Only David sees through the guise and understands that he’s a character in a movie. This is a loving ode to gleefully bad sci-fi.

    Important scene: Naomi Rapace looks at some bleeps and bloops on a screen. Two bar graphs allign. “This is it,” she cries. “This is everything!” We cut back to the bar graph, and watch it bleep and bloop a while longer. Wow, what an impressive bar graph. Next scene, it turns out she just wants to get fucked. 

    There are two distinct scenes in the film of wacky dames who just need a good deep-dicking. One gets an abortion, the other crushed by a huge black protuberance. A guy smokes pot and then dies instantly. This is Friday the 13th logic. The class conflict in Alien is notably absent. All these people are rich idiots, so we’re not supposed to cheer for them. Idris Elba, the closest thing to a ‘lower class’ character puts on a Southern Accent, says YEEHAW! and rockets his ship into a wall to save the day. Michael Bay would give an approving nod. 

    Why is there a zombie scene? Because it’s wonderful slapstick. He gets shot like fifty times and his head gets run over. I couldn’t stop laughing. But more importantly, the ‘zombie’ exists to shows us what Charlie was turning into. For a second, I though it was Charlie, back from the dead. Again, this treats the characters as slightly interchangable.

    There are at least two shots lifted straight from Luigi Cozzi’s (in)famous Italian Alien ripoff Contamination. 

    Prometheus owns.

  • Oapartyrock

    Thanks SuperMechaGodzilla, greatest text film review guy on the planet. 

  • She Fights Like A Girl

    Ah, that felt good.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Hughes/718206723 Jason Hughes

    See, I get the feeling you guys made this short to make fun of the people who are finding nitpicks and plot holes with this film, and yet this is exactly how you got your start with Star Trek: Generations. Sooooo……

  • tjwb

    AAAaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. Relief. Thank you Mike.

    Why didn’t anyone give a shit after Shaw has her surgery, then walks into the room with a huge scar? Surely David would notice, and be intrigued…
    I think the whole “Weyland still alive/being Vickers’ dad” thing was added later on when Charlize Theron was picked for the role. Damon Lindelof said in his interview with TheVerge that they ‘made her part more interesting’ upon finding out she was cast. So they tacked this ‘Weyland still alive’ story on. Even though it was stupid and made no sense.

  • http://twitter.com/Metanar Ashley

    That’s not what she said. She said they created us but then changed their minds and decided to kill us.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Hughes/718206723 Jason Hughes

    This whole movie is a tongue-in-cheek masterpiece. That’s what people don’t get. 

  • blastor138

    LOL!  Yup.

  • tjwb

    PS. In the Generations review, the bit about the sun-killer-rocket… A few notes about more things that are wrong in that scene.

    1) Whether or not the sun shines or is extinguished by Soran’s rocket, the mass remains the same. So the gravity remains the same and the ribbon’s path would still be unaffected.
    2) Even if the rocket somehow destroyed the star’s mass, gravity itself travels at the speed of light – so it would still take 8 minutes simply for the light and gravity to disappear.

    3) Contrary to what you say, extinguishing the star wouldn’t instantly freeze everyone on the planet. If it did, the same would happen whenever the sun sets!

  • http://www.facebook.com/pierre.larsson.9 Pierre Larsson

     Yeah… no shit! :p

  • http://www.facebook.com/craig.stitt.7 Craig Stitt

    At first I thought that when the Engineers brought their DNA to Earth, it was long before ANY life existed on the planet, or at least any life that THEIR DNA couldn’t take over… but yeah, who knows.
    Yeah, and why the map back to their secret Bio-Weapons planet!
    BUT… I think I do have at least a plausible answer as to why they Engineers where coming back to Earth with a ship full of bio-weapons.  They didn’t ‘seed’ our planet because they wanted to ‘spread intelligent life’ across the galaxy, they seeded our planet, so that they could have a nice ‘facility’ to test their new weapons on, and to let said weapons evolve into better weapons. – because if they were just pissed off and wanted to destroy us… why not do it with a simple virus that they could control, and not some bizarre bio-engineered creatures that even they could not control.
    And, even though Scott said this was not a ‘sequel’ to Alien…. it’s so close they should have just made it one, but it’s not, because the crashed Engineer’s ship is flat on the ground at the bottom of a valley at the end of this movie (not perched up on a mountain… but that could change given LOTS of time) but the ‘space jockie’ wasn’t in his seat, and didn’t have just a little hole punched out of his ‘suit’ (the only real surprise and interesting part of the whole movie and actually made sense).  Instead, the Engineer/Pilot, gets out of the chair, and ends up having his whole torso blown open by a fully grown, ‘predisesor’ (?) of ‘the’ Alien (not a ‘chest-buster’) – Although the GIANT ‘squid thing’ did in fact look like a GIANT ‘face-hugger’ of sorts.
    I can there fore only assume that, although this was the same race, and the same type of ship, and ‘probably’ the same planet, the Engineer’s ship in this movie is NOT the same one that we see in Alien.  Wrong location, and no dead pilot in the chair with his ribs blown out.
    Yeah…. the movie was a complete disaster… except the cool bit about finding out the ‘Engineers’ aren’t some kind of bizarre alien with funky eyes and a ‘trunk’, but that’s all just a space suit… that was cool, and fit, and made sense.  The rest of the move… meh… not so much so, as has clearly been pointed out in the video above.  And yes, they could have gone on for a much longer time with all the plot holes and endless unanswered questions.
    I was excited to hear that Scott was talking about possibly doing a BladeRunner sequel… NOT NOW… stay the *uck away from BladeRunner!

  • Guest

    Apparently you don’t understand that this video, just like the Star Trek/Star Wars reviews, is making fun of nitpicking while at the same time providing genuine criticisms.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

    Hrm. From Persian myth to camp comedy to gender politics. People are interpreting meaninglessness into this movie, meaningfulness, everything in between.

    Hey, I’m a big fan of “thought-provoking”, but if your movie is basically a Rorschach test (children playing. robots.) maybe you fucked something up?

    Hey maybe that’s my novel interpretation I can be cool with. Prometheus is a daring assay into a hybridized impressionistic/abstract form of storytelling focused on allowing the audience to draw from it the most important parts relevant to their experience of the series of events that occur one after the other.

    Like the dark tree of Dagobah, Prometheus has in it what you bring with you, becoming essentially an ego trap for the faux-cynical internet film reviewing crowd, where they wallow in the grip of their shallow deprecation while those unencumbered by the instruments of criticism experience a deep connection with the ineffable mysteries of existence.

  • blastor138

    The planet the Nostomo visits in Alien isn’t the same one the Prometheus lands on in it’s titular movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=580236910 Andrew Carr

    One element made me think of Plinkett’s assertion that Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi Wan should have been the same character in EP1: 

    Vickers (Charlize) was an unnecessary character, there is nothing she did that the captain couldn’t have done.  He could have been the “Unobtainium corporate stooge” and then had a change of heart and decide to protect humanity by self sacrifice.  Charlize did a great job in the role, and did portray some depth to the character, but in the end, it was a throwaway stupid death, and she wasn’t needed, nor was it necessary for her to be Wayland’s daughter.  The whole running straight down the path while Shaw roles to the side thing was like DaVinci giving the Mona Lisa a poop smudge on her face, just sloppy and uncalled for.

     The only thing that could make up for this element would be having her be an android “mind clone” of the original in a sequel (which Scott has made clear he’d like to make if the financials let him).  There were allusions to her being a clone, with her dialog with the captain (who says a female android can’t make the sex?), and her statements about being super cautious.  She had the lifeboat, but ultimately that could have been part of deception, or entirely to serve Wayland, remember that the super medpod was calibrated for Male patients.

    Scott and Lindelof were clear that they were leaving lots of unanswered questions, though the betrayal that was the end of the Lost story arc makes me skeptical about at least his half of the equation having real answers in mind.

    Damn, I ended up writing a wall of text about just one point of debate in the film.  Mike and Jay, you have changed the way I watch movies forever! Thank you!!! <3

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Hughes/718206723 Jason Hughes

    So Damon Lindelof TWEETED
    about this short!!! Also, he tweeted last night about some anaylsis of the movie made by a grad student. Apparently, the whole thing with the Engineers trying to come
    kill us 2000 years ago has to do with…wait for it…the crucifiction
    of Christ. Oh yes, friends, this is pretty much from Ridley Scott. Jesus
    was an Engineer!!!

    Never thought you’d be laughing so hard there would be tears, did you? The nightmare of your life is just beginning…

  • Mister T

    Fantastic interpretation. I’m going to pretend this is true, it’s the best way to deal with the disappointment.

  • Mattminus

    I don’t think it matters what Scott says in an interview. If there’s no 15′ tall ripped, alabaster Jesus in the movie, it didn’t happen.

  • JohnWaynman

    Uh, the “nitpicks” in the Generations review were probably the least “sincere” in the whole Plinkett series, and the most obvious “parody” of nitpicking nerds.

    The wrong uniforms… the chip looks different… BAD example, Mr. Hughes.

  • StoneDude

    Thanks guys!!!!  You have asked every question I had about this movie.  Now send a copy of this to Ridley Scott, the two screenwriters whose names I have intentionally forgotten and to the assholes at Fox Studios since I am sure they had a hand in the cluster-fuck of a film.  I might think I didn’t like it….actually I did….just wanted to like it more….because from the trailers (presenting one kind of movie) and the actual film (a different movie)…either way it should have been great!!!  Be interested to ind out if the full, uncut version (you know the studios probably cut it down for theater release) was like.  Thanks again…this was too funny!!!!

  • me

    Now we are talking!!! MOAR 

  • StoneDude

    Sorry…I misspelled a few things.  meant to say “YOU might think I didn’t like the film…actually I did”.  My bad. And it  ” Be interested to ind out if the full” should have read “Be interested to FIND out if the full,”…..sorry again.

  • TokyoShowdown

    If you took a star away from a solar system, the planets would freeze. We don’t see a huge drop in temp at night because we have an atmosphere. 

  • http://twitter.com/TimGreeley1 Timothy J Greeley

    I could watch various cuts to Jay’s dumpy listening face all day.

  • tjwb

    I know that, but what I said is they wouldn’t freeze instantly. That’s what was said in the review.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Hughes/718206723 Jason Hughes

     what about the ending to LOST was a betrayal?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Hughes/718206723 Jason Hughes

    ooh ooh! And why was the medlab thingy calibrated for a male when it was in Vickers quarters…unless…

    Idris Elba just barfed into his hand. No wonder their quickie only took ten minutes.

  • Dave

     I liked most of this movie.  The last 20 minutes or so were terrible and the final 2 scenes had people laughing in the theater.  I wanted to post about some of your observations, though.  I understand it’s laced with satire but there are some legit questions and a few I’ve seen posted in more than one place.
    – The black goo was a weapon they were going to drop on earth to kill everyone.  I imagine the Aliens from Alien were a similar type of weapon intended for a different species on a different planet.
    – Weylands makeup was pretty bad in some shots.  When he first showed up as the hologram my girlfriend said, “Why is Biff in this movie?”
    – I seem to remember them mentioning the air probably isn’t safe.  And when the guy first took off his helmet someone was shouting for him to keep it on.  That guy was just kind of a dick.  And later Shaw refuses to take hers off because of the reasons you mentioned.
    – The biologist didn’t really freak out.  The mohawk geologist did, and he had a fairly believable rant about why.  The biologist just left with him, which was probably the smartest thing he could have done.  He assumed the mohawk guy would be able to lead him out since he was the one mapping the place.  His only mistake was trusting the mohawk guy.
    – I think the biologist reacted the way he did to the snake/penis thing is because he knew there really wasn’t much of an alternative.  They didn’t have anywhere to run, couldn’t leave the ship and he assumed his suit would protect him.  All of that in mind, it was still pretty dumb.
    – The daughter thing was pointless.  I thought that was their way of saying she was a robot.
    – David seemed to have a little direction from the usual Corporate Assholes featured in these movies.  They probably thought the goo was either a weapon or a secret to immortality and wanted to see what it did, so David took it upon himself to infect the guy.  I don’t think the robot had malicious intent but he was clearly a sociopath, which is what I would expect a robot to be.
    – The black goo seemed to be something that kick started mutation and evolution.  They probably had some that was intended to create legitimate life and some that had been weaponized.  The weaponized version created things that were only intended to destroy.  Be it parasitic monsters or viruses or in Halloway’s case, both.
    – I don’t think David knew they would have sex and didn’t intend to infect the entire crew.
    – The engineers were responsible for human and probably primate DNA but other life could have evolved independently.  And mammals that eventually evolved into humans existed alongside dinosaurs.
    – The mission was apparently a secret but the crew must have had an idea what they were doing.  There are bits of dialogue that imply they knew at least the gist of their mission beforehand.
    – This in mind, Weyland kept the mission a secret because it would have potentially ruined his company if it failed.  And it’s a pretty crackpot idea anyway.  And since he’s such a high profile figure and his absence would have been noticed, he faked his death to save face.  I don’t think anyone would have cared that he faked his death if he returned to earth with the secret to immortality.
    – I think the Engineers created the star map to their research facility because they are assholes.  They thought if humanity is advanced enough to travel there they were probably assholes by now too.  They are mostly right, as exemplified by The Company.  If we travel there, they would either kill us or infect us and send us home to kill the rest of the assholes on earth.  
    Like with robots and AI, in a lot of Sci-Fi when they’re advanced enough to think and feel on their own, they become assholes too and we end up fighting.
    – The security recordings were either of them running from a monster thing like the squid or the mutant mohawk guy, or they were trying to run to the hypersleep chambers before their heads exploded.  If I remember right, and I may not be, they had to go through the cargo holds full of goo to get to the bridge that had their stasis chambers.  Then presumably they could freeze themselves or whatever like the Prometheus crew wanted to do to Holloway.

    I just spent way too much time typing about this movie.  It was alright, I guess.

  • Tev

    Or the movie was well made and you were just too lazy to figure out answers for yourself . . . 

    Yes, there were some pretty stupid things (running straight LMAO), but many questions just served as a fodder for your imagination. Yes, that guy who wrote Lost has bad reputation now, but why the fuck everyone dismisses this semi-turd immediately without even thinking about it. And as a reason states dumbest question that comes to his mind without even trying to think FOR ONE SECOND about an answer.

  • JohnWaynman

    But at least the shed would become cold over time…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Yungbluth/100000492345495 Jason Yungbluth

    You guys are great. Mike, I want to put my worm in your eye.

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  • BunnyFooFoo

    That may be a neat bit of academic wankery, but it makes for a terrible story.

    Or have se convinced ourselves that we’re now so far into post-post-post-post-whatever territory that storytelling itself has become meaningless.

  • PDX Guy

    Because it wasn’t for Vickers, it was for Mr. Weyland.

  • StoneDude

    Something else occurred to me about this film.  In the movie “Event Horizon”, they had these really great visual effects.  The ship was fascinating and some of the concepts were interesting – then it became a type of devil worship flick with it’s blood and gore which seemed a cheap shot.  Now fast forward to “Prometheus”.  Again, all the visuals were spot on great.  But the camera won’t stay still long enough to enjoy all the gizmos (bridge controls, command areas, etc).  Granted this doesn’t make a movie, but since they spent so much cash on it….then take the time to show it (instead of camera sweeps).  Sam problem they had with Star Trek except they had lens flares and the camera couldn’t stand still.

    I think that is also part of the frustration about this movie.  So much went into the visuals.  The ship was great!  The alien moon…wow!!!  The interiors of the caverns and all the alien-monster stuff.  But then the story got sloppy.  And I’m sure it was because too many hands were in it including studio execs.

    I think too that even as bad as the story was (and actually only in parts), this will end up having a cult following.  Even the original “Alien” had it’s issues.

    Will be curious to see how this pans out later.  Director’s cut?  DVD extras? Or Prometheus-2? Maybe this will be salvaged some how.  Remember Star Trek The Motion Picture and then the superior Wrath of Khan.  Second time around could be great.

    Just too bad this couldn’t have been more than it was.

  • BoobLucas

    I think it was all a dream .. Anakin farted, then … ow .. wait.

  • http://www.facebook.com/JasonAnt Jason Antolik

    I don’t think the daughter thing was pointless. Vickers was a disappointment to Weylan because she didn’t turn out to be the son that he wanted. Now, I think that’s supposed to shine a light on the Engineers hatred of us: we simply haven’t turned out the way we were supposed to. Like Plinkett’s son. But at any rate, it’s a concept that should have been explored more if it’s what they were going for, so to hell with this waste of time.

  • mike

    but she didn’t know he was there.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DRMR25YG3IN2R4P77NULCP2YUA Someone

     She knows he’s onboard.

  • PDX Guy

    Sure she did – that’s why she confronts David to find out what he said to him. The whole “try harder” line.

  • Enderwiggin

     A betrayal b/c the writers failed to deliver (as Lindelof does again in Prometheus) on key questions THEY raised in the story. Leaving something to the imagination is onn thing, but  Lost was just “we were making this up as we went along and have no idea how to answer any questions” at work.

    How was time travel accomplished? Who were the islands “others”? Who
    were Jacob & MIB? Why were these random people so important to the
    island? What was the smoke monster? What did Dharma want with the
    island? What was the purpose of the plug? How did people become
    immortal? How was the island able to move? What was the significance of
    Hurley’s numbers? Seriously, what answers did the show ever provide? To
    say the answers never mattered is BS because that is exactly how they
    marketed the show and hooked viewers. Hell, in 2006 the creators even
    flat out stated they had a 3 year plan that would answer all the, even
    at that point, loose ends and worthless back-story.

    Tell me which episodes or lines of dialogue answer any of these Qs.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Hughes/718206723 Jason Hughes

    The correct term is Black Sperm.

  • Mark Edwards

    Weirdly, I think you hit almost every point I had questions about and ranted about on my webzone.

    So disappointed by that movie.

  • citizen

    i watched it twice before i realized he was talking in the plinkett voice

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Hughes/718206723 Jason Hughes

    Hmm…this makes sense…but I am still gonna go with my “Vickers is a trany” angle…

  • Shauniebabes

    Can’t you just use this and pretend the 24 minute review never happened ?

  • spo8

    Are you suggesting that Theron was actually an android?  It would have been neat if that was the case, but I’m pretty sure she was just an estranged daughter.  Earlier, Weyland says David is the closest thing he has to a *son*, but not to a child.  Also we see her wake up from stasis and is clearly shaken, which couldn’t happen to an android.

  • snqrls

    It didn’t seem like a mesh either, just poor, lazy, inconsistent writing, which ultimately detracted from the ‘point’ of the movie and its engineers.

  • Nich T J

    Sorry, I read into your post, and you have to realize that there was no reason to create another species just to test some weapon of mass destruction. You have labs for that shit, and unless it was only dangerous to their own race, there was no reason to use humanity.

    As to its purpose? Probably to create an alien like being out of human DNA.

  • snqrls

    Several trashed scenes, that’s why it made no sense.

  • Fred

    Here’s a few more

    1)      Why
    would you go over to an unknown alien lair in person? They have flying balls
    that can scan and map the entire complex, but they didn’t bring one with
    sensors and a camera? Seriously, there was a guy who rigged up his dead cat to
    do this. Or perhaps bring more androids, send them, but make sure you put a kill
    switch in their brains. Or at least bring the fucking marines.

    2)      The
    idea that a set of five dots will lead us to exactly one spot in the entire
    fucking universe is completely stupid. This is made even dumberer by the
    comment that these dots couldn’t be seen from Earth so you don’t even have a
    known viewpoint…let’s remember space is 3 dimensional and planets rotate
    around a sun and moons rotate around planets. 

    3)    Seriously
    you have advanced technology that can do auto-surgery, put people into
    suspended animation for years, reanimate heads that have been dead for thousands of years and create advanced androids, but can’t solve
    infertility? What?!

    4) That David could deduce their language was completely ridiculous. For one, language is not static, but changes over time. This is almost as stupid as the genetics in this movie. As a scientist, this movie was definitely science fantasy.

     
     

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  • Kikkeli

    The whole “sharing DNA” thing is pretty dumb to anyone who knows even the first thing about genetics, but I guess nobody really cares.

  • oh please

    The alien planet was in another galaxy. Are we supposed to believe human beings will invent technology to go to another galaxy in 80 fucking years !!!! This was another galaxy that 0.5 billion miles away. For your guide thats about the orbit of Jupiter, poeple in Hollywood are just idiots beyond belief. 

  • blastor138

     Yes.  The Nostromo was a commercial mining vessel.  Obviously in the interim deep space ore mining became profitable.

  • Stephenba91

    Whoops, misunderstood.  Must’ve forgotten to take my brain medicine.

  • Thejuice

    Maybe an Engineer murdered Nicole?

  • Kyle_delaney

    How about… why did you give this movie such a good review when you can see so much that’s wrong with it?

  • Joel

    This film needs a full Plinkett treatment – it is really that bad and the characters are THAT stupid and the plot is THAT illogical. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/JasonAnt Jason Antolik

    Not defending Prometheus one bit, but what makes you say it was in another galaxy?

  • blastor138

    Whhhhhhyyyyyy….

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  • AWS2

    An explanation for David’s actions:

    First thing to realize about David: He’s a robot. His brain doesn’t work the same way ours do. What seems logical to him might not seem logical to us. You can’t think about him like you would a normal character. Remember how Ash admired the xenomorph because of how “perfect” it is. Doesn’t look that way to us, does it? It’s a murderous thing that cares only about itself and is ugly and vicious as hell! But to a non-empathetic mind that’s just looking at the logic of how self-sustaining a lifeform is, the xenomorph looked “perfect” to him.
    Lesson here: Computers think differently than we do.

    Second thing to realize: He’s under Weyland’s control until Weyland dies. Weyland wants to meet the Engineers. David stole the canister of Black Goo because he recognized that it was some kind of primordial ooze. It had life in it. He likely deduced that it could be what spawned the Engineers and wanted to see if he could spawn them. After Weyland tells him to “try harder”, he goes ahead and infects Holloway with it.
    Notice during the scene, David asks “What would you do to see them?” or something and Holloway responds “Anything and everything.”, after which, David gives him the drink. He was asking for permission. It’s likely part of his programming that he can’t harm a human unless he has permission. Again, part of realizing how this “guy” thinks. The question he uses to ask for permission is revealing of the fact that he believes at this point that the Black Goo might spawn the Engineers. He’s obviously proven wrong.

    In short, it was an experiment to see if he could make more Engineers for his boss to meet. Once that goes to hell, he then probes the ship again and finds the command room. He shows no remorse or empathy whatsoever about Holloway because, again, he’s a robot. It was just a failed experiment and he moves on.

    Once Weyland dies, David is free to go after whatever goal is most worthwhile to his logic. So he pairs up with Shaw in order to get out of there and tries to convince her that going after the Engineers doesn’t make sense, since to him, it doesn’t. To him, it would make sense to wipe out humanity. The only reason it doesn’t make sense to Shaw is because she’s human. Self-interest and empathy for her fellow humans means she instinctively will protect humanity at all costs. She also wants revenge, which is another emotion-driven idea that David would not understand.

    I easily found David to be the most interesting character, with Shaw a close second. I can see why everybody is disappointed that the other characters weren’t that interesting or well-written, but I didn’t care. I had those two to pull me through. In the end, that really is all a story needs. Just one intriguing character. For me, this movie had two. More than good enough.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Foley/100000390928621 Jason Foley

    Why did Shaw just go along with it when Halloway said he was fine?
    Why did they land by the very first thing they saw? What if the other side of the planet had huge domed cities?
    How did a thick door cleanly cut that guy’s head off?
    Why was finding the geologist who never picked up a rock’s corpse outside the ship not a reason to be on guard?
    Why did they say “Darwinism” instead of evolution? How could aliens planting life here disprove the observation Charles Darwin made?
    Where did whatever killed the aliens go? Are we to believe that one penis monster killed them all?
    Why did they reveal Theron as Weyland’s daughter twice? Where they worried the audience was too stupid to get it the first time?
    Shotguns?
    Meters or miles?
    Prometheus is clearly science fantasy so touching on their many apparent drive systems, that 5 dots in an ever changing cosmological map mean dick, genetics 101, or the amazing medical technology that was simultaneously laughable would be pointless.

  • Joe

    The engineer in the opening scene is breathing without a helmet, so there’s already oxygen on earth. There was already life on earth when he drank the goo.

  • tforney

    the black goo was concentrated midichlorians

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=580236910 Andrew Carr

     What Enderwiggen said.  The end was basically “jk lol”.  Jay said it well in HitB when he stated (paraphrased) that the writers lead you to believe they were developing a story with a sure hand, and in the end, it was clear they were just making it up as they went along and needed to come up with an ending.

    I think the first half of Prometheus was fantastic story wise, but for the second half, they should have pushed the story a lot further than what they did.  Nothing about the second half was too different than what we’ve seen in other sci-fi like “Cargo”, Event Horizon or even The Thing.

  • KarlBunker

    Why did everyone wear ace bandages instead of underwear? Do we forget how to make underwear in the future?

  • Ruv.

    Hey to Mike and Jay. Another exellent installment of Half in the Bag thanks.
    I haven’t seen Prometheus and probably wont cos I kinda know what to expect, but from what you’ve told me on HITB, the title of the film, and the philosophy of Hollywood my guess is that the overall ‘point’ of the movie is probably this: these creatures/aliens/gods made us humans but we’ve fucked up cos we destroy everything and now they want to destroy us just like Dr Frankenstein wanted to destroy his creature in ‘Frankenstein – a modern Prometheus’ -full title by Mary Shelley. What d’ya make of them apples?.

  • KarlBunker

    Nah; just *assuming* that having someone drink a bit of black goo in their champagne would cause him to magically transmogrify into an alien makes no sense either. Just *assuming* that it would give him diarrhea would make a lot more sense.  

  • Stevesie

    Why did the mohawk guy become a pcp monster? Why did the pcp monster show up broken in half with his legs over his head? How did he know to wait for the guy to walk up and kick him and THEN go into a psychotic murderous rage?  The decapitated engineer was infected with the black goo(i’m assuming) and then his head exploded… why didn’t the pcp monster’s head also explode.  If Holloway was infected, why didn’t he also turn into a pcp monster?  Before he died, he could barely move.  If the black goo was inside a separate container inside the pods, how did the pods sweat the black goo?  If it was a malfunction of the pod, why were all the pods malfunctioning?  How did the penis snake grow back it’s head? Wouldn’t it make more sense for the head to grow a new tail?  If the snake thing laid eggs in the biologist’s head, wouldn’t that have made a more evolved penis snake thing? Why didn’t the momentum of this huge ship that weighs millions of tons not crush the tiny rock that Shaw backed up into?  

    Why does the alien spaceship look like the half eaten donut spaceship the trade federation used in star wars?  Why won’t calling a woman a robot get me laid? 

    These are things i’d like to know…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Yungbluth/100000492345495 Jason Yungbluth

    Remember in the opening scene? The Engineer also wore Ace bandage underwear. The Engineer who woke up later probably realized that we were approaching their level of technology… but did our androids have EZ Snap-Off™ heads yet? That’s why he decapitated David!

  • AWS2

    That’s why it’s called an “experiment”.

    And with his advanced knowledge and observational abilities, David may have very well had a good idea what it woud do. He could have been able to deduce that it was a parasitic lifeform that needed a host to spawn. He didn’t know Holloway would spread it to Elisabeth before it spawned, but in the end, we was ultimately right. Just not right about what lifeform it would be.

  • Sold

    i liked the visuals, good acting and many smurfs. 
    is another movie to watch and goodbye!next!

    people complain too much… I think the public should stop seeing certain directors, stop buying gaming from some companies, and see if that helps with the current ” + visuals = crap”. the favorite director, favorite developer from that game… just say “fuck you rich bastard” and dont buy any other shit from those guys.

  • Fecalizer

    Re, #4) At first I thought that too, but then I realized he was memorizing ancient languages in the beginning not to extrapolate the influence of the Engineers’ language and reverse engineer how to speak that, but to have a library of languages the Engineers might have picked up on the visits to earth they made when leaving their shitty shitty star maps.

    That said, the movie was…really not so smart in general. To put it kindly.

  • Guest

     On that second point, let’s not forget that stars are constantly moving throughout our galaxy, not to mention being born and dying over several millenia. Even if the Engineers could somehow predict that the celestial map would look how it does in our time, and that we would be able to see it, how would they know we had the right vantage point?

  • blastor138

    Whee is the penis snake and the other evolved worms when the crew come to get the “biologist’s” body?  Shouldn’t the rest of them be hissing at and attacking the rest of the crew?

  • http://northierthanthou.com/ northierthanthou

    lol

  • Blackingfactory

    Did you guys see Damon Lindelof retweeted this and said “I answer at least four of these questions”, lol. At least he has a good sense of humor.

  • blastor138

    And he doesn’t follow up and answer them…

    Classic!

  • Blackingfactory

     I like you’re theory about why the engineers would direct humans to their death facility!

  • George Lucas (oficial)

    Was not my fault this time!

    And I find it very racist “black sperm” as evil! why not a white sperm? My ILM company, have better ways to use sperm, here we understand about sperm! Hollywood hates my Red Fails, and there´s no use of any kind of sperm inside any plane!

    I consider this Prometheus a bad movie! my Phantom Menace is much better!

    Although I will sue you RedLetterMedia!

    George Lucas

  • http://twitter.com/Jesseraygarza Jesse Garza

    The best question on the internet was made by Spoony and his brother. “How did the two guys who made the 3d map of the cave get lost when they had the 3d map on there arm pad the whole time? Why didnt the black guy who had the 3d map in front of his face the whole time help them out of the cave?”

    My own personal question is this: Why didnt that one guy who was standing there with a knife cut the alien off of the guy? Why did he wait until a few minutes after his arm got broken?

    This movie may be a flawed diamond, but at least its still a gem of a movie!

  • D_teck

     In the real world we do things that might not seem to make since or after words seem stupid and wrong so not everything in the movie has to be either :-) lol like how you AWS2 is giving this a go at answer questions and i must say i like how you  compared ash and David

  • D_teck

     if week look at the last100  years went from a abacus to computer size of buildings today you never know

  • D_teck

     we* not Week :-P

  • Sausagesssssss

    Why is it not okay to assume anybody’s questions are worth answering unless they’re demigods like Ridley Scott and Damon Lindelhoff?  Why would Mike think of it but science demigods like Weyland et all not consider alien microbes N’SHIT when making the instruments that qualify air as safe?  Why was that issue used in the movie as a device to confuse scientific and religious mindsets?  Why didn’t I read the other questions in this thread to see if internet demigods asked mine?  What if it was a gangbang?  Why is Tree of Life better than this in any way?  Why would that question piss some people off?

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/ZLNDMCW6C4C2TO34HROLZHC6BY wz3d

    That’s what I got from it, as far as the Engineers wanting to wipe out the humans. It’s just an abrupt, poorly executed reveal, never giving a reason. This isn’t one of the things we should have to guess. Of all the meaningless dialogue that David has for the rest of the film, it seems like they could’ve dropped a line about their motive for wanting to do it. Would’ve gave it alot more impact, too

  • DangerShoes

    OMG! I thought the same thing about why they ran in the path of the rolling ship, and why the alien ran to the shuttle when there were other ships on that planet. Thank you! This reminded me of the Plinkett videos. Loved those too. 

  • jfreema2

    Why did the mural change & what did it mean?

    Why was there a big head sculpture in a weapons facility?
    If the Engineer died before humans evolved, where did the various cultures get the star-map from? Did an Engineer come back? Did he drop his wallet, again?
    What happened 10,000 years ago that caused the engineers to want to destroy us? We’d have been pretty nonthreatening. Have they seen this story before?

  • blastor138

    When Apone says “They ain’t payin’ us by the hour” to make his troops hurry up, shouldn’t that make them slow down because they’re getting a salary no matter how fast they do the job?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

     If the xenos are just animals, how can they cut the power, man?

  • http://twitter.com/LynnWiberg Lynn Damien Wiberg

    Seriously? If you work longer for the same amount of money that you’d make doing it faster then you make less dollars per hour. If I’ve just answered a sarcastic question, then I am truly a fool, and I apologize. 

  • Jonas

    How did Burke intend to get away on his own?

  • Bayoubilly

    you should have, have Jay having an epalectic seizure in the end, with fome coming out of his mouth, it would have been a better moment of comedy.

  • blastor138

    The whole planet looks to be shrouded by cloud cover and is perpetually dark.  Why would Newt say, “They mostly come at night”? Wouldn’t they be coming all the time?  And wouldn’t the ultimate survivor be able to hunt during the day or night?

  • blastor138

     “Fome”?

  • Jakobhl

    It’s actually 2000 years ago, not 10000. That’s why some people think the engineers got mad because humans crucified one of their engineer buddies wink wink.

  • http://twitter.com/bengritz Ben Gritz

    why do we complain about movies being too simplistic then want our hands held when one doesn’t explain everything for you?

  • ZPowers

    Disagree. That tag was hilarious. A seizure is just some off the wall physical comedy. The ides they had this intensely specific talk and it is totally unrelated to Prometheus is some really solid absurdist stuff.

  • blastor138

    Lots of movies don’t hold your hand and expect you to keep up.  This isn’t one them but it would like you to think it is.

  • http://www.facebook.com/olaf2046 Olaf Johnson

    Holloway is quoted saying this a few times in the film

  • ZPowers

    A few more I was confused about:

    How is the main character able to operate the auto-surgery machine, much less spontaneously design a new and effective surgery in a matter of seconds, even though she noted only about 12 were ever made and it’s clear she’d never seen one before and she has no implied history in medicine?

    Why doesn’t the machine knock out, or at least restrain the patient while performing surgeries where small accidents could cause death?

    The stitches on the machine seemed to patch up the skin, but what about her internal organs?

    Why could she do so much following the surgery? Was the stuff on her stomach muting the pain? even if it was, shouldn’t her stomach burst open and kill her? Would she able to effectively use her abdominal muscles? Would that stuff numb other areas of her body if it were transfered through her skin or wound and make it impossible for her to move efficiently?

    Why did electricity make that head explode? That’s not what happens to humans and we’re apparently very similar biologically. Was it infected? Other infected people didn’t react like that, so why would that head?

    Would would the main character become so upset about her inferitility, which she has presumably known about for years, literally only a couple hours after finding the greatest discovery in human history? Doesn’t that seem over-reactive or over-emotional? Wouldn’t that hurt the cause?

    Why bring so much alcohol on a scientific mission?

    Why does Weyland want a “true believer” on board when he doesn’t display any religious tendencies? If he wants answers to his disease, shouldn’t he just want thorough scientists?

    Why would he decide to personally confront an alien he knows next to nothing about after all that death, especially if can apparently die at any time? Shouldn’t he just wait in the cryo-chamber since he has literally infinte time there? Can’t he just wait on Earth for either humans to find the cure or the crew and David to get back either with or without answers?

    Why would the Engineers leave an easily accessible hologram explaining how to pilot their ship that is understandable to literally relatively intelligent being, especially since that ship was caring weapons that could cause serious trouble for them if in the wrong hands?

    Why would the pilots sign on to die so readily when they had very little evidence for what was happening? In particular the co-captains, who have virtually no idea what is occurring? Why would the co-captains elect to needlessly die if the main captain can handle the operation?

    Why would Charlize Theron’s character go on this mission at all if she wanted to “minimize risk”? Couldn’t she just run the company on earth like she wants and if this is as big a bust as she thinks it is, keep on running it while Weyland is frozen or killed? If someone else is assigned to run the company, why wouldn’t that person also be assigned CEO in the event of Weyland’s death? Why would Weyland want an openly resentful and seemingly ruthless daughter around his prone, sleeping body anyways?

    Why did Charlize’s Theron’s character get on that weird ejector pod and into a space suit instead of going directly to her “lifeboat” chamber?

    Why does the DNA of the Engineers match exactly as Human DNA on the scanner? Even if they started life on earth, we’re clearly genetically closer to chimpanzees or even dogs, rats, bugs and lizards because our most recent common ancestor is much more recent than it would be with the origin of life on earth. Wouldn’t it only be a percent match?

    If we’re independent creatures from other earth creatues, why does our DNA match 99% to chimps? Why did they evolve to look and behave and have internal fuctions and layouts so similar to us?

    Similarly, how could we evolve from individual cells to look so similar to the Engineers when there are literally infinte ways we could have evolved and mutated? Were they guiding our evolution? Why would they do that? If they were specifically aiming for humans, how did they pick mutations that lead to humanity? How did they do it at all? Why would they guide our evolution if they wanted to kill us?

    If we are a perfect DNA match, why don’t the Engineers look even more similar to us? Why aren’t we 10 feet tall and made of alabastor?

  • http://www.facebook.com/olaf2046 Olaf Johnson

    Why was there a giant “disney theme park” human skull carved high up on the cliff face of the nearby mountain in the valley on the alien planet in another galaxy?

    Why is it only shown during the scene where the exploration crew is out racing the silica dust storm?

    Since no one has been around for 2,000 years or more then how is it possible for a giant exposed rock carving of a skull be not weathererd away on a planet where nightly high speed silica dust storms seem to be occuring?

    SMH!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ben-Haworth/578970862 Ben Haworth

    The one that bothered me the most is why the fuck didn’t Shaw tell Weyland everything that had happened up to that point?. She just said that her boyfriend died, which could mean anything on a massive space-faring expedition. Why didn’t she just straight out say, “my boyfriend went crazy and was burned to death, another crew member went crazy and killed like 5 people, another one got eaten from the inside by a giant worm and I’m pretty sure the Engineers want to kill us all. Oh hey did I mention I just had a machine pull out a a fucking octopus monster from inside me? Wanna go see it?”

  • blastor138

     Perhaps the skull was way way bigger than it was when the Jockey’s originally carved it.

  • blastor138

    I know it’s lame as hell but Riley Scott said the Jockeys wanted to kill us because we killed Christ (2000 years ago…the same time their experiments went wrong apparently).

  • Zachapowers

    That’s true for some of the complaints (for example, maybe “why did they want to kill us?” or other elements of pure mystery), but it doesn’t work for A) inconsistent or uncharacteristically stupid or reckless character actions (this is bad in ALL movies) or B) aspects of the plot that are 100% inconsistent with the world we live in, especially in a movie where it is clear it is taking place in a place extremely similar to the world we do live in (right down Steven Stills) and is implied to not have any supernatural elements. Prometheus is designed as a sic-fi movie that at least somewhat makes logical sense in the context of the world we live in, and if you think about it for a second, it doesn’t really. C) Things work or occur in a way that has no logical NOR thematic purpose. This is also bad in any movie.

    Besides, if you bring up big ideas it’s okay to stop coloring in the blank areas once, thematically, what the movie is getting at makes sense. Here it feels like they bring up these ideas but don’t really have any opinion or resolution in regards to them.This isn’t a bad movie in my opinion. I’d say it’s a pretty good movie (not great), but the kind of things you stop and think about it all kinds of things don’t make sense or aren’t resolved.

  • ZPowers

    I haven’t read that, but if it’s true it honestly just raises more questions.

  • Pi4nobl4ck

    Oh yeah, and thousands of years of erosion only got the carved skull “smaller” as opposed to completely change the formation and design.

  • dawaltco

    yo, in the vein of this, can you PLEASE review “Another Earth?” I can’t believe how much praise it’s getting (especially from Sundance), and it’s really terrible. The sci fi elements seem to make it your kinda thing

    if you want a solid indie film though, check out “Beasts of the Southern Wild” when it comes out this summer. I got to see a sneak preview and it’s amazing.

    smart comments on Prometheus, pretty much my thoughts exactly.

  • Fecalizer

    Now, now, if we start getting into off-screen elements of real-world physics and repercussions of such, virtually no movie made would pass. Can’t we just let Prometheus utterly fail on its own terms? Those being pretension and obfuscation?

  • dawaltco

    that is, in the vein of confusing sci fi that has potential despite serious mutherfuckin flaws in the writing…basically Another Earth…but with no redeeming qualities…

  • Tamemlin

    …And yet the torches they use in the opening scene set in 2089 are bulkier and less powerful than ones I own.  So we’ve mastered statis, galaxy jumping, artificial gravity and lifelike robotics by then, but not torches that are small and powerful???

  • Darrenwatford

    Don’t you get it? Half in the Bag is the PLINKETT PREQUEL! (Kinda
    like Ridley Scott’s “Hannibal Rising”) Think about it, Plinkett is played by a
    different guy (Rich Evans) and Mike’s using his Plinkett voice more and more. Mike
    and Jay’s opinions on movies are getting more divisive, and I think eventually
    a bad film’s gonna send Mike over the edge. He’ll then kill Jay and Plinkett,
    and pose as Plinkett to protect his real identity.

    Of course, none of this is actually IN Half in the Bag, it’s
    just me taking a couple of things and creating my own meta-story, then assuming
    that was the intent of the creators and stating it on the internet as fact, but
    it’s what I choose to believe!
     

  • http://www.smallfish-bigpond.com/ Kerensky97

    It’s more HR Giger designs being put into the movie.  Namely “Dune 2″

    I’m guessing that like everything else in the movie it’s a throwback to the original Alien.

  • Hiver

    Shhh! Dont say those things! it only detracts from the… uh… plot… of… aaahhh…

  • http://www.smallfish-bigpond.com/ Kerensky97

    LOL!  I love all the shots of Jay.

    Best show ever!

  • Fecalizer

    Most people say, “The beginning was great, but the end sucked.” At least it was moving fast enough to hopefully make you forget that nothing was making sense at the end. In the beginning, however, the movie struck me as idiotic, nearly right away.

    DId the dream vision not bother anyone else? “We’re just going to cut to a standard scene, blow it out a little, and put a field of dots over it — that looks cool, high tech, and dream like, right?” Just the idea of him doing that was hackneyed, but the execution felt like someone found a temp filter they liked and slapped it on and never went back and fixed it. At the very least, I hope they got that helmet back to Daft Punk.

    Secondly, the laying pipe everywhere. Everyone was so helpfully descriptive! As in describing their thoughts or actions out loud for no one’s benefit but the audience. “This is a medipod. It does invasive surgeries. (Hope I don’t need an invasive surgery later on this trip!)” Maybe they were saving money on a descriptive track for the blind.

    Wait, what were the token characters betting on? Never mind, I don’t care.

    Beyond the fact that I’m really tired of the Minority Report interface being the standard in every sci-fi movie now, even when, like here, it doesn’t really make the most practical sense, what’s with the Weyland hologram? The walls were projected, as was he, yet…we could see the walls through him. Whyyyyyyyyy?

    Also, plot twists of no consequence or interest. Or success. Who didn’t immediately assume Weyland was on board or that Theron was playing his daughter? Why did we care about either fact, before or after? Anyway, none of the other characters seemed to.

  • http://twitter.com/SimonSharman UFO Talk

    Red Letter Media – Win. Prometheus – Fail.

  • Hiver

    - Wayland Hologram knew where to look because it is run by a computer program that makes those adjustments. –

    BuT:

    Why did Space Jockeys show humans the stars constellations where LV planet or planets are? If  they wanted to kill us?

    If they didnt want to kill us… why would they show us the stars constellations where they kept their nano-goo weapons or place they just used as some kind of storage facility?

    Why did that first one had to die – kill himself, at all?

    Why did the last one immediately start to kill everyone? He could have told Wayland and the rest anything he bloody wanted and have them all fall on their knees, suck his balls and take him or do anything he requested.

    (the answer is because the writer had no idea what to do with the guy or what he would actually say – therefore senseless stupid violence was the only answer)

    Where were any giant alien chicks? Do they even have any and… if not then… how do they uhh… reproduce?

    How come alien nano-goo doesnt affect David at all if we see it can melt space suit helmets?

    Why doesnt Rapace boyfriend tell anyone about space worms swimming in his eyes?
    Is that what a scientist would do? (added to every other stupid thing a scientist would not do) Is that what any human would do?

    And on and on and on….

     

  • blastor138

     The goo didn’t melt that guy’s helmet.  The penis snake blood did just like the alien in Alien.

  • JoeJoe

    250 trillion miles away. Some smart guy already said Jupiter was 0.5 billion.

  • JoeJoe

    So dumb. Out planet is always bathed in sunlight and being heated. You think the sun disappears from the entire planet just because you see dark?

    Did you write Prometheus?!

  • ZPowers

    Alternatively: Why didn’t David tell Weyland all that stuff? David is hyper-intelligent, has seen enough to piece together that this ship is going for Earth and is full of some deadly shit, and is totally loyal to Weyland. In fact, it stands to reason that David probably DID tell Weyland what had been going on, but if that’s the case, why the hell would Weyland go to the alien ship? Either Shaw, David, Weyland, or maybe all three seriously did not stop to think.

  • JoeJoe

    How did they find the pyramid without surveying the planet?

    Why don’t they have probes for surveying?

    Why do characters stop in mid thought and ask stupid pretentious questions to try to make the movie not seem dumb?

    Someone just attacked two crew members, but no-one is alerted? They, instead, go to revive the young guy in the old man make-up?

    Why does the “Black Sperm of My Vengeance” make people into Mad Hulk? (Look it up).

    Why would a super duper surgery chamber be for “dudes only”? Did they only have one floppy drive?

    It’s the future and no one has a freakin’ PDA or a portable computer?

    Is the plot of the movie really “let’s go to thing, let’s run away from the thing, let’s go to the thing and then run away from the thing again”?

    Why does the robot smile at seeing the map that charts the destruction of the “home” he wants to go back to?

    Why does the robot take the cross out of the jar and bring it with him? Was it because the script forgot that it was still in the surgery room? Is that the script laying there on the floor?

    Why did Roger Ebert give this turd 4 stars? Are his meds really that good and can I have some?

    Why didn’t the ship detect a freakin alien lifeform? They can detect them in the pyramid, but I guess they turned off the Norton Alien Lifeform Security program to play a pirated video game?

    Why was the head from Dark City in the movie? What’s with all the decapitations and the mouth rape? Is it a “head” theme? Is that “the force”?

    Why do they play scenes from much better movies inside worse movies?

    Why do they have exposition over communicators? Is it because Obi-Wan had nothing else to do? Oh Shit! This movie did that too?

    “Lizbeth” only had 30 seconds of oxygen for the last 20 minutes of the movie and for the long buggy ride to another ship?

    After needing to decontaminate the splodin’ alien head, why do they go back into the ship without helmets on?

    How did they find the dumbest group of scientist and put them all on the same ship? Didn’t they watch Sunshine first?

    Why wasn’t the geologist at list a little curious about the amazing metallic structures all around him? Did they not teach metal in his “school of rock”?

    Why do they need treadmills and basketball courts for this mission? The obviously had no time at all to use them or did they just copy-and-paste that room from another Alien movie and include the same “impossible” hoop shot?

  • JoeJoe

    The second earth conceit served no purpose other than to make the movie pretensions. Roger Ebert loved that turd of a movie too. He has a soft spot for movies made by pseudo-intellectuals.

  • JoeJoe

    White Sperm was already used in Alien. They just photoshopped it.

  • JoeJoe

    It takes a smart writer to write “dumb” and have it make sense in the context of the movie. This is just dumb and sloppy. Someone only did half his homework and turned it in late.

  • JoeJoe

    Christ being an alien makes more sense than that other fairy tale that’s also full of plotholes.

  • Jdevries1982

    How can Fifield and the other guy get lost if they just mapped the pyramid and have homing devices on their suits?

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  • http://www.facebook.com/tom.julian Tom Julian

    Hey guys, I liked this review a lot
    and agreed with most of the points. I think you missed two rich elements of the
    film that needed comment though. Those would be the characters of David and
    Holloway. I thought David was a truly memorable character that will enter our
    culture as a trope – not unlike Hal and Ash from the original Alien(s). Years
    from now, he’ll be one of the things about this film that people remark on as
    being distinctive; “Hey Prometheus was an enjoyable mess, but that android David
    was totally creepy and awesome.”

     

    The Holloway character is on the
    other end of spectrum. The actor that played him had absolutely no gravitas. I
    felt that he was extremely aggravating and seemed like the d-bag that hits on
    your girlfriend at the bar when you go to the bathroom. That scene at the pool
    table comes to mind. David asks him what he was willing to do and he says
    “anything and everything…” like he was a contestant on American Idol or
    something. He just seemed like a reckless ass. BTW – why was he so disappointed?
    They flew trillions of miles in the hopes of finding evidence of their creators
    and despite the fact that they were long gone… the actually found them! This
    isn’t a disappointment. Those cave drawings were tens of thousands of years old.
    What did they expect? Engineers would just be standing around? They could have
    just as easily found nothing, but what they did find was the most significant
    archeological find in the history of archeology. Anyway, this guy was an ass and
    looked like he should have been in a boy band. He looked even worse next to
    Noomi Rapace, who is a totally kick-ass actress.

  • StoneDude

    I FIGURED IT OUT!!!!!!

    1- VICKERS IS AN ANDROID.

    During her brief confrontation with David, she was able to throw David against the wall suggesting she had super human strength.
    She did everything humans did.  Slept in the hyper-sleep chambers to avoid being detected by the other crew members (no one would want to have a robot being in charge of the project for making sure they did their job).
    She had emotions. She might have been a second generation robot to emulate humans in every way.
    She did push ups to energize her internal systems.

    She didn’t die at the end of the movie. 

    She ran in front of the rolling alien ship in the hopes that Shaw would follow her, killing Shaw. (Remember after she awoke from hyper-sleep she asked David if anyone had died.  She knew David’s personality for conducting experiments on his own).

    David had figured out there was something wrong with the air in the caves and that Shaw had been infected even more so than having the alien being inside her.

    She had sex with the Captain (1) to prove she wasn’t a robot and (2) she knew something was about to happen to the two crew members left in the caves, so she had to distract the Captain away from the mapping console.

    2-THE AIR IN THE CAVE.

    Before David began pushing control buttons in the cave, he noticed the goo on the controls was teaming with microbes.

    This is why the holo-grams running in the caves all had helmets on.  They were running from something and needed to close the door to the room with the Big Head so the contaminated air wouldn’t infect that room.

    Once the opened the door to the room with the Big Head and left open, everything in there became infected.  The canisters began oozing the black goop, the configuration of the ceiling began to change.

    Everyone who had taken their helmets off became infected.

    The two crew members left behind weren’t stupid.  The air infection caused them to not think clearly.  Couldn’t find their way out even with the 3D maps and gives the reason why the one guy wanted to pet the serpent. Also, and maybe, the room was being reconfigured by the aliens…so they were trapped (also why Vickers went to bed with the Captain – she knew something was about to happen based on information from David and needed to distract him from the mapping console).

    The black goo was harmless until mixed with the contaminated air.

    This is why David was able to handle the canister without any problems.  Putting a drop of the goo on his finger to place into Holloway’s drink to see what would happen.

    Holloway and Shaw didn’t have sex.  They kissed, hugged and went to sleep.  (David asked the pregnant Shaw did she have intercourse and she said no…that was impossible.)
    The contamination and goo spread to her during her snooze with Holloway.  Also the reason why Holloway didn’t say anything to Shaw when he saw the stuff coming out of his eyeball.

    3-THE BIG BLUE GUY WAS KILLING OFF ONLY THE INFECTED PERSONS.

    This is why he went after Shaw at the end of the film.  He tried to escape in his ship feeling he could out-fly Prometheus to Earth to do whatever it was he was trying to do (this is still a mystery, we don’t know that he wanted to kill all humans).

    He didn’t care about the Captain (who had gone into the cave to rescue the two guys) because when he was in the cave he never took his helmet off.

    4-AIR IN THE CAVE PROVIDED SUPER HUMAN STRENGTH.

    Holloway, now turning into a monster was first burned up – and didn’t die…and they had to kill him again.

    Shaw’s ability to move about after her self imposed surgery and even wrestled with the Big Blue Guy until she got the squid monster to get him.

    Also it’s the reason why she wasn’t crushed by the rolling alien ship.

    4-WEYLAND BELIEVED THE TITANS WOULD GIVE HIM IMMORTALITY.
    This is why the mission was so important to him.  And would explain why BIG BLUE GUY wanted to kill off everyone who was infected.  Before the humans morphed into something else.
     

  • StoneDude

     Hey Tom…read my post called I FIGURED IT OUT.

    Ridley Scott is not a sloppy director.  He wouldn’t have spent so much money and time to have a film full on inconsistencies.  But he is a visual director.  And he leaves a ton of clues as to why the crew acted the way they did, why the Super Being reacted as he did to the humans.  Of course there are still unanswered questions.  For a sequel and for discussion.  Of course what I have posted is just a group of theories.  But it fits some of what was going on.  let me know what you think!!!

  • Penciltest

    Why does that wooden Radio speaker cut-outs look like a Predator mask ? 

  • Random Guy

    This is hilarious

  • http://www.facebook.com/mellaphoric Ricky Hiller

     Hey stone dude thanks a lot for helping me understand the movie better. It helped a lot and was very insightful. Well done.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mellaphoric Ricky Hiller

      “I hope they got that helmet back to Daft Punk.” Lol!!!

  • Derschewiein

    This is sarcastic right? You assert so many stuff to connect it all that it must be sarcasm. People did the same with Lost. Make everything fit by asserting stuff that was never there….

  • Peter

    Why was Biff in this movie.  And why did he call himself Peter?  Does the delorean travel through space as well as time?  

  • Coltrane

    The most important question of all…

    Why do I care?

  • Evans Turner

    Why isn’t this video available in the iOS mobile app?

  • blastor138

    The mutated monster-man that attacked the crew was the red-haired mohawked geologist.

    Vikers might well be an android as she has the same upright, arms barely swinging posture that David has when he walks.

    All the rest of your points take enormous leaps of logic that aren’t supported by what has shown in the movie.

  • Michael Spakousky

     Ha ha ha.  Jay’s face is awesome.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  It kind of reminded me of Hans from The Burbs…or the werewolf kid from the original Fright Night.  Good job guys.

  • http://www.facebook.com/blyth Warren Blyth

    watch the movie again (I think everyone “finding flaws” is going off of faulty memories).

    They’d just started mapping corridors. The pups are still mapping out the womb tomb long after those guys die.

    It’s never established that they can see their own gold diamond tracking symbols on the ship’s holomap. In fact, this is specifically countered later on when the captain has to tell them where the pup is glitchy-detecting life. clearly they can’t see the holomap. if you watch the movie.

    (I think people assume Fifield is a mapping genius because when they first enter someone says “Do you know where we’re going?” and Fifield says “the pups say this way”. But this is just him saying “the pups flew this way”. It’s a shrug, not a command.

    The whole ‘Fifield must have a perfect map of every corridor, and situational awareness thanks to his homing beacon, and training in how to navigate a confusing haunted alien tomb while he’s terrified’ is something you brought to the movie. Not something that the movie gave you.)

  • Mess

    Jesus and aliens, the gods are astronauts? hell, thats a original plot!
    was the most unfinished idea of 2012… what mess!

    Scifi or fantasy are cool, with good sense, but put a small link with something like “religion” is a invite for disaster. the bible, or any other ancient text about “gods” are the more bizarre things created by humans, and a huge part believe that fantasy are true.. like a paradise, a holy man, back from the dead, the might of god or gods… is a culture 100% based in fantasy, theres no space for scifi there, or, more fantasy.  

    Damon Lindelof is a truly “Lost”.. he does exactly the same shit again, put fantasy, scifi and cover with religion.. tastes awful.

    The same after 7 seasons, lots of questions, and everything finish inside a whatever temple.

  • ImAFckingDragn

    Secret Asshole – Worst kind of asshole

  • http://www.facebook.com/blyth Warren Blyth

    most of these questions are answered in the movie.

    the trick is that you’re watching it saying “no one would ever do that” instead of saying “someone did that, I wonder why.”

    – This is a movie about optimistic people who lept before they looked. (and people keep asking “why were they so optimisitic.” drives me fucking nuts. Clearly they didn’t know they were in a horror movie. fuck. watch the fucking movie on it’s terms)

    – It’s also a movie about exploring questions of faith from a scientific perspective instead of a religious perspective. If you refuse to consider the questions of faith then you aren’t watching the movie. (ie, it’s a movie with a virgin birth, on christmas day. Also about meeting your maker, and realizing your maker wants to kill you. It even flat out says that the makers decided to destroy us right around 2000 years ago – right about the time when we killed Christ. hellloooooo. watch the fucking movie on it’s terms)

    The rest of your nitpicks are about as relevant as “who would ever travel to a distant planet when invited by aliens? Wouldn’t they expect to be shot out of the sky by a defense grid.”  or “Who would ever power up their space ship and try to fly it? Don’t they know those things explode?” BARFFF

  • http://www.facebook.com/blyth Warren Blyth

    - it’s neat how the dots in that dream sequence aesthetically echoed the dots in the Engineers “memory” holograms. almost seems intentional.

    – the token characters were betting on whether this was a terraforming mission. it’s kind of a key question for the movie, If you want to watch a movie, you should probably pay attention. (the opening scene for example, shows an Engineer terraforming a watery planet while his ship flies away.). The point is that these token characters never settled the mystery, but maybe they will “on the other side.” and then they help their captain try to kill god.

    – have you seen minority report? what the fuck are you talking about? in Minority Report, there are no holograms. they take great care to show that a picture is just being extruded towards Cruise, by flying around it.  It’s just a 3D conversion, like so many recent movies.
    Alternately, the often aped Minority Report interface is about hand gestures controlling various items in a transparent screen. Where was this? you just mean transparent displays?

    are you drunk?

    the Weyland hologram was shown to be layers of projection. which we haven’t seen before.

    – this is a movie about meeting your maker. So, having a child that hates her maker, and clearly envies his robot creation, is relevant.

    lets all be drunk and confused!

  • blastor138

     The two guys can’t see the map but the captain can.  Is the captain some kind of secret asshole who won’t help members of his own expedition if they’re lost?

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  • pukey

    Ooookay.
    so it was quite fun. didnt redefine nightmares or anything, but not Episode1 either. the wierd circle over the waterfall you saw in the trailer was cool.

    but…

    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPOOOOIIIILLLLLEERRRSSSSSSSSSSSSS

    why did the ginger guy turn into a zombie?

    so a trillion dollars.. why do you hire such a bunch of losers? the chief scientist is getting drunk while they autopsy an actual alien head. isnt he bothered? whys he so miserable?

    why did archeologists lead a potentially dangerous, and certainly momentously historic space mission anyway?

    why did no one at all seem to display any sense of the significance of finding an alien civilisation?

    why did the human relations robot constantly adopt such a creepy, nastily sarcastic tone with all the people? id reprogram him out an airlock and just talk to the ship like in star trek.

    why did same asshole robot murder the chief scientist on the mission? 

    if he wanted to test the black stuff, why not use a lab rat?

    why didnt the scientist notice him swirl his robot finger about in the drink? why did he do that when he had the glass in his hand the whole time?

    he seemed to feel no emotional response to murdering the chief scientist, or even any disquiet at the tactical folly of murdering the chief scientist. why?

    why did the chief scientist not tell anyone about the alien worm in his eye, not even his girlfriend who he just boned?

    why did the medical machine say no woman, you cant use me im only designed to be used by males, then let the woman use it 2 seconds later anyway?

    why given the very real risk of biological contamination do they not even bother wearing facemasks when they microwave the guys head?

    why does all that gross slop that falls into the gaping would in noomi rapaces belly not infect her with more octoblobs?

    after that amazing abortion scene, noomi rapace doesnt seem that bothered shes just been through an unimaginable trauma when shes chatting with captain elba. why?

    why did the ship have cctv holograms?
    why did they not appear in alien?

    how did the cowardly tech guys get lost? they had a 3d map of the ship and were in constant contact with the prometheus.. why not call up one of the floating survey balls if theyre really lost?

    where is the wreckage of the prometheus when the nostromo shows up? is this not LV426?

    if it is, where the wreckage, where did the pots of black stuff go, where is the blue laser thing Cane falls through in Alien?
    if it isnt, do these Space jockeys just crash all over the place on extremely similar planets under almost identical circumstances?
    if so why doesnt Ash know how to read their language or use their machines?

    whats the green crystal thing?

    why was the robot impressed by the gluey stuff on the wall?

    why do people wonder around so much, its like half the time theyre just drivnig about in their stupid dune buggies and an old fire engine. or going into or coming out of the room with the big head in it. just stand still idiots.

    why did the alien special effects give ancient civilisations directions to a military bioweapons plant?

    when were they supposed to have done this? 3000 years ago? 30000 years ago? billions of years ago at the dawn of life?

    if the engineer guy at the start created life on earth, why do we clearly see trees and grass? 

    why did his DNA become primative organisms which over billions of years of evolution came to look almost identical to him, sort of?

    if his DNA was exactly the same as ours, why wasnt he a human?

    this biological stuff annoyed me because this is at least partly a nerdy science fiction film for nerds who nerd about evolution all the time.
    plus Larry Niven thought up a much cleverer way to work this plot decades ago in the Knownspace books.

    what was charlize therons motivation in any of this? she decided to take 4 years out of her busy schedule as a top corporate exec to go on a mission she was totally surprised turned up a positive result?
    why not just send a drone?

    the geologist zombie was outside the ship all bent round on himself. I actually liked that, it was so WTF, but why wasn’t he detected inside the alien ship and all the way down the valley? when he stands up, one minute hes all contorted, then hes standing up normally as if he just been bending to tie his shoe, which would be impossible.

    why did old Guy Pearce do the whole hologram pretend Im not on the ship thing? particularly when his medical machine was on display? why when people found out he was did they not seem surprised? why did the big special effect hit old Guy Pearce on the head? why did he stand there thinking about it first? why did old guy pearce need to be there in the room anyway, and not just talk through the robot from his bed?

    actually legit plot question, what did David say to the big special effect?

    why was the big special effect having a sleep anyway? youdve thought he’d have things to do during a massive weapons accident.

    why did the aliens wait to destroy earth til now? obviously, to introduce a ticking clock element, [sloppy writing] but they couldn’ve done it any time in the last shitzillion years couldnt they?

    why did the aliens store their fabulously dangerous bioweapon in the room adjacent to the bridge [again, sloppy writing to allow them to walk from one to the other in a single scene]

    what happened to the black stuff monsters that killed the biologist for no reason and somehow made the geologist a zombie for no reason?

    how did the alien know noomi rapace was on the life boat thing? how did he keep track of this while his ship was falling out of the sky?

    why was none of this sorted out before the movie was edited? or after? 

    why did the geologist turn into a zombie?

    why did the geologist turn into a zombie and attack everyone?

    why?

    why?

    the answer is fuck you its a stupid corny action movie, there is no answer. sit back and look at the squirmy monster things. noomi rapace is amazingly attractive too like she was in the millenium movies.. bit of a shame theres not more meat on this films boneless flailing limbs though.

  • pukey

    so why would their mapping system basically be worse than what we have today idiot?

  • tysonatthemovies1984

    Who is stone doode?

  • blastor138

    “where is the wreckage of the prometheus when the nostromo shows up? is this not LV426?”The planet the Nostromo visits in Alien isn’t the one the Prometheus visits in this movie.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3FRCAMLKUFJCYZ5Q5TLI6C7VWM Thanatos

    This is more like it.  See, the stuff listed here completely negates all the amazing CG and environments and tension and casting and all the masterful crap you lauded in the HitB review of why the movie wasn’t as bad as everyone claimed.  None of that matters when things are so stupid they make you question why you’re even sitting there watching it

  • ThatsWooooo

     Why is Mike using his weird absent voice in this? Why is he throwing so many questions at Jay? Why is Jay looking stoned/wasted/exhausted? Why isn’t he saying anything? Whats the all the symbolism about black baby jesus and Jay? Is Jay supossed to be black baby jesus suffering for our sins/pointless nitpicking? I dont know, but isn’t it nice that somebody is finally asking the IMPORTANT questions?

  • Cohnwrithe

    Going out on a limb here, and I’m not even going to attempt to answer all of these questions, but to answer this:

    “why did the aliens wait to destroy earth til now? obviously, to introduce a ticking clock element, [sloppy writing] but they couldn’ve done it any time in the last shitzillion years couldnt they?”

    When they found the beheaded “engineer alien” it’d been dead for 2000 years, meaning they’d planned on coming to earth and killing us much sooner, around the time of Christ, or not long afterwards.  Maybe they realized humans were just bad apples and wanted to be rid of them.  Obviously, from the records, all hell broke loose when the “bio-weapon” got out, so they all died, except for one who was in cryo-sleep.  Since the others were dead, we can suppose there was no one there to wake him up, until David came along and roused him.  Orrr maybe he was awake when the shit hit the fan and he hid in cryo-sleep to protect himself.  Either way, once David woke him, it was “back to the plan.”  

    And to address the “Squid” monster.  I thought it was obvious that this was the first evolutionary step to the “Facehugger.”  Ridley said the Prometheus takes place in the same universe as Alien and Aliens, and the rest of the films shouldn’t be included in his and Cameron’s franchise.  With that in mind, the large facehugger “squid” could be what lays a Queen Xenomorph into a host, while the small facehuggers only bring about Worker or Soldier Aliens.

    Could the movie have been better?  Sure.
    Did it leave a lot of unanswered questions?  Abso-fuckin’-lutely.
    Will there be sequels or possibly a spin-off franchise to this?  I hope so.

    And I believe BELIEVE that the “black goo” is a microbe carrying compound that infects people, hoping to spread through fluid swapping (like an STD) to “impregnate” someone with a parasite (the original facehugger).  Think about it like, “Which came first the?  The Facehugger or the Egg?”  

    What I got from watching this movie, then watching Alien immediately afterwards:

    -Black Goo infects guy –> Guy gestates goo until it evolves into a Parasite –> Guy infects girl with Parasite –>Parasite infects engineer with Queen Xenomorph –>Queen lays hundreds of Eggs –>Eggs hatch, releasing Traditional Facehugger –> Voilà!  The original Alien –> Enter Ellen Ripley to whip said Alien’s ass.

  • gsystem888

    Remember: a) The two dudes originally became lost because the Captain Idris and Vickers were too busy tracking Shaw and co. and b) they couldn’t leave once they realized they were lost because of the storm. Also, it’s possible that to Milburn that one snakey-alien looked cute and harmless, even though it was kind of obvious that it was deadly.

  • http://www.facebook.com/olaf2046 Olaf Johnson

    I went over that Fifield scene again and again in my head because it bothered me that the movie would have such big a flaw. I saw the movie twice. It is still IMPOSSIBLE for them to get lost! Even later on when the captain is reporting the glitches to them and he ask Milburn for their location (which is silly because we the audience can clearly see the captain looking at Fifield’s & Millburn’s gold F & M location icons on his 3D map) Milburn looks at his watch computer and reads out his location to the captain.

    Furthermore at the point where Fifield and Milburn decide to return to the ship they were only at best 300 yards into the first of the branching tunnel. You could in fact see the sunlight from outside on the walls. This observation is reinforced when the captain and rescue party goes back to the room with the head and as we see Holloway getting sick and Shaw looking at him there is sunlight coming in from outside.

    It is impossible for them to get lost.

  • http://www.facebook.com/olaf2046 Olaf Johnson

    in what universe…the looney toons universe?

  • http://www.facebook.com/olaf2046 Olaf Johnson

    Why would the captain ask Milburn his location when the captain has clear visual of Fifield’s F and Milburn’s M gold location icons within the caves on his 3D map display?

    Was he trying to calibrate the 3D map?

  • Test

    the dinosaurs went extinct 64 mil years ago, they lived a lot longer than 64 mil years

  • http://www.facebook.com/olaf2046 Olaf Johnson

    Why was there a giant human skull carved high up in the cliff wall of the alien mountain that was adjacent to the valley? Was the alien valley once home to a Disneyworld’s Pirates of the Caribbean theme park long ago?

    Also on a planet with daily high speed abrasive silica dust storms won’t a rock carving on an exposed cliff side be weathered away within a matter of days? Yet according to the carbon dating of the dead engineers it was been there unmaintained for at least 2,000 years.

    Why would a Ridley Scott movie with super complex religious origin themes use a cheap effect like a human skull carving as some sort silly foreshadowing to the dangers of the mission?

    Would ALIEN be a classic film with such foreshadowing in it? for example if Ash had Bad Robot tattooed on his forehead or the xenomoprh had a skull and cross bones tattooed on his arm?

  • Wtf

    why didn’t they hire a old guy to play the old guy?  maybe there was a scene of him as a young man that got cut?

  • Pingback: “Prometheus” Review « pay it forward()

  • http://www.facebook.com/bird.glen Glen Bird

    I have a feeling “Prometheus” will be a Plinkett review some day.

  • Johnny Snow

    This story takes place on LV-223 which you can seen in the hologram during the explanation of their mission by Shaw and Holloway. So no, this is not the same planet from Alien and Aliens. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3FRCAMLKUFJCYZ5Q5TLI6C7VWM Thanatos

    Occam’s Razor suggests it’s just bad writing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/olaf2046 Olaf Johnson

    There is in fact. You can find it on youtube if you search for Weyland

  • Johnny Snow

    Holloway and Shaw didn’t have sex.Yes they did. Shaw admits that they had sex about 10 hours prior to David asking her.

    THE BIG BLUE GUY WAS KILLING OFF ONLY THE INFECTED PERSONS.
    Then why did he rip David’s head off if he is incapable of becoming infected since he can’t breath?

    She (Vickers) didn’t die at the end of the movie.
    Yes she did, you can clearly hear her being crushed by the ship. 

  • Dystopedon

    Why did they feel the need to have the android talk ancient Mayan to a very non-Mayan-looking guy and get his head torn off when he could have just read his dreams, like he did with the God girl in the very beginning?  Just don’t wake up Mr. Freeze, shoot him full of the powerful drugs that can dull the pain of massive internal hemorraghing, use your android strength to drag him to one of your dream-reading pods, and hook up dem electrodes or whatever it is you do with alien heads.  Piece together the scenes, learn the language from context, get clued in on his history, hopes and desires-it’s really a no-brainer if you think about it.

    But talking caveman speak works too-it turned the squirrely, untrustworthy android into a useful head that can help you in all sorts of ways without going off on its own to execute secret orders.

  • MadMonsterParty

    Weyland only had a few days to live or something so he stayed in carbonite until David was sure there were Engineers there.

  • JP

    I think the guys had a little more time to think about the movie… and now their brains are broken.

  • Trey

    This definatly deserves Plinketts input.

    When the alien on earth drank the black goo was he trying killing himself, or was it all part of the master plan? The planet that the aliens were on… it’s not ‘their’ planet, so why were they there? Why were all their ships there? Why didn’t any of their friends come looking for them when the did call after 10,000 years? Why did they build giant hive-dome-type things with uneven passages that largely didn’t lead anywhere? What was with the giant head sculptures? They were too crude to be individuals, were they symbolic? Why neatly orginize the black goo vessels around it when they’re supposed to be used elsewhere, like the ones loaded on the ship? Oh yeah, the ship… So there were lots of ships, not just one. Did they all have sleeping crews on them? If so, killing that one guy on that one ship seems kind of pointless. And why, when that pilot guy wakes up does he immediatly start stomping the guts out of all the little people who woke him up? How could he possibly know where they came from? Seems a little rude to me. Also, he’s been in stasis for 30 or 40 thousand years, should he feel a little under the weather when he wakes up? How did robot-boy know that tracing the hyrogliphics would activate machines? Is that how the alien people used them, would and open and close button be more reasonable?

  • StoneDude

     Some of my points in the analysis I did in “I FIGURED IT OUT” I got wrong.  Everyone who entered the cave took off their helmets.  Even Captain Janek.  Oh well.  Guess I’m thinking too much about this film after seeing it 3 times.  Yeah….I’m a geek.

  • Co-Opted Handle

    “The Spakouskys!”

  • Trey

    “why did the medical machine say no woman, you cant use me
    im only designed to be used by males, then let the woman use it 2
    seconds later anyway?”She had to program it first.

  • Guest

    It’s not that hard to grasp… here ya go little fella.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7CChfYoO_I&feature=g-user-u

  • Trey

    Oh, yeah. I had my appendix out, and a 2 inch incision made it almost impossible for me to walk for days. Meanwhile abortion girl has her stomach bisected, and stappled, then spends the last quarter of the movie running full speed.

  • Guest

    YT Prometheus EXPLAINED – Movie Review (SPOILERS) by Chis Stuckmann if you don’t get it.
     

  • MisterSpook

    If Bishop cut his hand, does that mean Hudson cut his too?  Why wasn’t he shown with a bandage later on?  Can synthetic persons heal like normal people?

  • Trey

     Oh yeah. The auto-doc was on the lifeboat which was the private cabin of old-guys daughter, why would it be set to operate on men, not women? Was she actually a he or something?

  • me

    On top of that what kind of idiot fucking scientists don’t bring some sort of trail marker?!??! Ripely used flares for fucks sakes, a length of rope would have saved these guys lives! On top of that, if they simply HAD to have the guys get lost, have part of the cave collapse, possibly while David is fucking around with some wall goo. The two guys get separated, and using the MAP THAT HE WAS MAKING WITH BALLS, circle back to the place with the goo after seeing the pile of dead bodies. Walking past the room with the big white worms they hear a noise so they investigate. Same length scene, same result, TEN TIMES LESS STUPID! 

    And the captain, dear fucking god, what a complete fucktard. Seriously, a 3 TRILLION DOLLAR PROJECT and the whole point is to find alien life, and he says “Hmmm, the pups are picking up a life form….must be a glitch! Fuck it good night.” Without freaking the FUCK OUT?!?!?! Jeeeesuuuus. And why didn’t he even TRY ANYTHING to help the guys out of the alien bio weapons factory    (a theory he came up with I might add, by pulling it out of his ASS. With no interest in the crews lives, nor the ship OR THE FUCKING EXPEDITION he looks at the situation and comes up with the theory we all accept as the point of the movie. Sigh.) I mean he didn’t look at the map and even ATTEMPT to walk them out to the entrance where they would have been safer. 

    WORST SCIENTIFIC CREW EVER!
    Hey look! paintings on the roof-Wait never mind they’re changing because of our flashlights-
     Awww fuck didn’t get any decent footage or photos of them.
    We’ve found an ACTUAL ALIEN HEAD…lets experiment on it- Awwww fuck we blew it up. 
    I’m David and I’m gonna experiment on one of the crew-
    Awww fuck the captain burned him to death before an autopsy or ANYTHING.
    Oh well his girlfriend’s pregnant with an alien baby-
    Awww fuck she cut it out of herself. Fuck it I’m gonna go talk to the other aliens, now that it’s not INSIDE SOMEONE, I just don’t care. 
    Finally, a chance to chat to an alien that’s dedicated alot of time and effort to wiping out humanity most likely….hmmm doesn’t seem to have any weapons…still just to be sure, maybe i should stand out of reach-
    Awww fuck it ripped my head off. 
    Better warn little miss ruins-all-my-fun-experiments that the alien is coming for her, even though there’s just as good odds it’s going for another ship that I just so happen to know about.

    This movie drove me fucking nuts. I was asking questions for 4 minutes straight after the movie too. Glad to see I’m not the only one!

  • Me

    Obviously.

  • Jake the dog

    At least it was better than Jack and Jill.

  • http://www.facebook.com/blyth Warren Blyth

     wow. you are flat out wrong.

    the skull was atop the womb tomb itself, not a nearby mountain. wronggggg.

    it makes it even harder to address a question it is not in fact based in the movie. it is stunning. phew.

    what makes you think there are daily storms? wha?
    did you notice that the storm started the moment they opened the big-head-room? someone says “i think we changed the atmosphere in here – and they cut outside to show the atmosphere of the whole planet being affected.
    you watched this.but your takeaway was : there must be daily storms? ?!??!?!

    + did you notice there were “engineers” in the movie? and they have human shaped skulls?

    + did you notice that the original Alien xenomorph design had a human skull within it?

    I can’t get over how impossible it is to even talk to haters about this movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/blyth Warren Blyth

     their connection has been distrupted by the storm. he mentions this : during that scene. it’s right there. in the scene. on screen. during the scene.  WHAT HAPPENED-

  • blastor138

     She wasn’t supposed to be there and living in those quarters.  That was Weyland’s deluxe lifepod.

  • http://www.facebook.com/blyth Warren Blyth

     all that typing, and only one valid question:

    “why did the ginger guy turn into a zombie?”

    The rest of your questions are sitting there, on the screen, waiting for you to watch the movie properly.

    p.s. this strikes me as your most retarded question: “is this not LV426?” well, if you watch “The Movie” they clearly label the planet LV226. it’s right there on screen. how is it you feel justified asking if 426 is the same as 226? at what point exactly did you reject the hypothesis that this was an embarrassing question that shouldn’t be asked?

  • blastor138

    Nice review but the plot still hinges on stupid people doing stupid things.

    At least in. say, 2001, the characters did things that weren’t stupid while asking big philisophical questions and Kubrink wasn’t trying to shoehorn his movie into another franchise.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

    So, 2,000 years ago, the Engineers decided it was curtains for the earthlings.

    And then by the sheerest coincidence, right before they were to take off and get ‘er done, wouldn’t you know it, Engineer 3rd class Klutzky knocked over a jar of death juice and all the engineers got killed.

    That’s…very lucky.

  • Trey

     But she still took possession of it, and made a point to mention that fact, and that she didn’t like taking chances. Plus Weyland’s dead (supposedly)…

  • guest

    I’m surprised nobody is bringing up this film’s “lack of vision” with all the obvious references (beyond just the setting) to the other alien movies.  
    The cameras on the helmets so the A-hole in charge can watch from the ship just like the Lt in Aliens… plus the heart beat monitors so you know when they die….Driving over the zombie guy and squashing him like Ripley did in Aliens…The two pilots bitching and moaning like the two guys at the beginning of Alien…The flamethrowers…”We..are…LEAVIIIING!!”The chick doesn’t want to let the infected guy on the ship just like Ripley in Alien…The A-hole robot with the hidden agenda gets decapitated…
    If it comes to it.. the cpt will “do whatever it takes…” while Hicks will “do us both”…
    The chick runs around in her undies at the end… just like Ripley did….

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

     I liked the callbacks.

    “Yes, I can hear you.”

  • blastor138

    The cameras were on their shoulders.  If they were on their helmets, they would have gotten static shots of the walls since the morons took them off and put them…somewhere.  Say, where did they put their helmets?  They weren’t carrying them around…

  • blastor138

    It’s hard to make modifications to expensive equipment when you’re in cryosleep for two years.

  • blastor138

    Nice review but the plot still hinges on stupid people doing stupid things.

    At least in. say, 2001, the characters did things that weren’t stupid
    while asking big philisophical questions and Kubrink wasn’t trying to
    shoehorn his movie into another franchise.
     

  • Braaarrrrr

    MAKE MOAR PLINKETT REVIEWS

  • Guest

    Clicking on the FF dd store link flashes it for a sec then says page not found, FYI

  • http://profiles.google.com/kevquattro Kevin Quattro

    Ah Mike, come on! This plays like you’re too impatient to do a full-on proper “Plinkett” review of Prometheus and did this. This IS fantastic, don’t get me too wrong, but save this energy for a Plinkett review!

    (I knew this was coming after watching your Half-in-the-Bag review as there was a seed of this skit in there…a prequel of sorts…or maybe just in the same universe.)

  • http://www.facebook.com/olaf2046 Olaf Johnson

    uhm…you are wrong there Warren! When Shaw and the crew get back the captain ask where is fifeld and milburn. Shaw or someone says they should be back because they left way before the storm. The first thing the captain does is radios them and we see that they are lost in the caves for the first time. During this time or shortly after we see their icons on the giant 3D map and the captain jokes to sit tight and don’t bugger each other. THIS IS OCCURING DURING the freaking silica storm. There was NO LOST OF CONTACT! Even if one of the characters said there will be or was a lost of radio contact with the dust storm. We clearly SEE ON SCREEN that there was no lost of contact! This is due to bad and inconsistent writing!! Later on after the scenes with the space jockey head and holloway drinking on the pool table. When we cut back to the captain he is getting a ping and then he radios Milburn (FOR THE SECOND TIME since they were left behind) for his location!

     And this makes no sense because like I said the captain is looking right at their F and M icons on the 3D map!!!

    It is akin to your best friend seeing you on live TV and Times Square on New Years Eve and then calling your cell phone to ask you where is your location right now when they are looking at you right there in Times Square, NYC on live TV!

    Silly! Silly! Silly!

  • Saturn830

    Every question you just answered has an answer, most of them in the movie
    itself and the rest deduced from basic logic.  Let’s go over the points:

     

    “why did the ginger guy turn into a zombie?”

     

    That was weird, but so was the whole lifecycle of the xenomorph-esque
    creature seeing at the end.  The black goo we see apparently has multiple
    effects, maybe based on the creature, maybe even somewhat random.
     Unpredictability would make sense for a biological weapon- like a
    cocktail of death.  It’s also possible that not all black goo is created
    equal.  Different canisters might have had different variants or maybe the
    goo was just a carrier/distributer of the weapon itself in which case their
    might have been multiple variants as well.

     

    “so a trillion dollars.. why do you hire such a bunch of losers? the
    chief scientist is getting drunk while they autopsy an actual alien head. isnt
    he bothered? whys he so miserable?”

     

    Holloway and Shaw might have been put ‘in charge’ by a delusional Weyland
    but they were hardly the chief scientists or even that important.  Their
    main contribution to the mission was discovering the planet in the first place.
     As for Holloway he wasn’t a biologist.  He came on the mission to
    learn the secrets of life itself and had just found out that the only beings
    that might ever answer those questions had been dead for centuries.
     Hence, drinking.

     

    “why did archeologists lead a potentially dangerous, and certainly
    momentously historic space mission anyway?”

     

    Because Weyland believed in them and put them in charge.  Vickers was
    there to oversee things from a business end and there were a variety of
    specialists to take care of other loose ends.  When talking about
    traveling millions of lightyears on a hunch it makes sense that they could only
    send so many people.  The moon landing was historic too but only three
    people went.

     

    “why did no one at all seem to display any sense of the significance of
    finding an alien civilisation?”

     

    They seemed pretty interested to me.  One of the questions I had
    watching this is the same as when I was watching the original Alien and that’s
    if in this particular universe humanity had discovered any alien life already.
     In Alien Ash seems fascinated by the creature but less in the sense that
    it’s a first contact type of thing and more that it’s just a particularly
    fascinating specimen.

     

    “why did the human relations robot constantly adopt such a creepy,
    nastily sarcastic tone with all the people? id reprogram him out an airlock and
    just talk to the ship like in star trek.”

     

    Well, the only one he was really a jerk to was Holloway and I would guess
    that’s mainly do to the fact that Holloway was being a dick to him at every
    opportunity.  You could say he came off creepy in general but he’s an
    emotionless robot with a secret agenda so I don’t think he would have come off
    any other way in the end.

     

    “why did same asshole robot murder the chief scientist on the mission?

     

    Maybe to try and move the mission ahead faster like Weyland instructed,
    maybe out of an almost childish sense of curiosity, probably both.

     

    “if he wanted to test the black stuff, why not use a lab rat?”

     

    Because a lab rat isn’t a person and David wasn’t exactly subject to human
    morality.  Plus, where there even lab rats on the ship?  Unless they
    built adorable little stasis chambers I doubt it.

     

    “why didnt the scientist notice him swirl his robot finger about in the
    drink? why did he do that when he had the glass in his hand the whole
    time?”

     

    Why didn’t the king notice when the assassin poured poison in his goblet?
     Because he did it when he wasn’t looking.  I assumed the little
    swirl was to just mix it in or something.

     

    “he seemed to feel no emotional response to murdering the chief
    scientist, or even any disquiet at the tactical folly of murdering the chief
    scientist. why?”

     

    Because he’s a robot and Holloway wasn’t that important.  Holloway
    himself said he’d do anything for answers and David took that as a go-ahead if
    he hadn’t already made up his mind already.

     

    “why did the chief scientist not tell anyone about the alien worm in
    his eye, not even his girlfriend who he just boned?”

     

    He was a little freaked, a little hungover, he didn’t know what to make of
    it, he didn’t want to worry Shaw, there were more pressing matters.

     

    “why did the medical machine say no woman, you cant use me im only
    designed to be used by males, then let the woman use it 2 seconds later
    anyway?”

     

    It wasn’t set for a woman-specific procedure, but that doesn’t mean it
    couldn’t do a generic operation on a human body.

     

    “why given the very real risk of biological contamination do they not
    even bother wearing facemasks when they microwave the guys head?”

     

    They probably decontaminated it when they brought it own the
    ship.  Plus it had been dead for 2000
    years, at that point it was more a fossil than a biological specimen.

     

    “why does all that gross slop that falls into the gaping
    would in noomi rapaces belly not infect her with more octoblobs?”

     

    Like I said, we don’t really know the background of all that
    goo stuff.  All the crap that splattered
    everywhere might have been more along the lines of alien amniotic fluid than
    the original black stuff that caused the trouble to begin with.

     

    “after that amazing abortion scene, noomi rapace doesnt seem
    that bothered shes just been through an unimaginable trauma when shes chatting
    with captain elba. Why?”

     

    Survival mode, she had more important things to deal with in
    the immediate future.

     

    ” why did the ship have cctv holograms? why did they not
    appear in alien?”

     

    Because we have better effects in 2012 than in 1979 and they
    took advantage of it.  Also, the
    Promotheus was a state-of-the-art scientific ship and the Nostromo was a crappy
    cargo freighter.

     

    “how did the cowardly tech guys get lost? they had a 3d map
    of the ship and were in constant contact with the prometheus.. why not call up
    one of the floating survey balls if theyre really lost?”

     

    I’ll cede that one, that was weird.

     

    “where is the wreckage of the prometheus when the nostromo
    shows up? is this not LV426?”

     

    No.  It’s not.  They clearly say it’s not.  Plus, a lot of things wouldn’t add up if this
    was supposed to be a direct prequel.  The
    fact that the Jockey wasn’t in the pilot seat when he died, the fact that he
    wasn’t in his suit, the fact that the thing that popped out of him basically
    exploded his whole body and not just his torso, the fact that the ship that
    crashed was carrying canisters and not eggs and the fact that I’m not even sure
    that creature at the end was a xenomorph.

     

    “whats the green crystal thing?”

     

    You’ll have to refresh me on that one, I don’t seem to
    recall any crystal.

     

    “why was the robot impressed by the gluey stuff on the wall?”

     

    Because he found it interesting.  It was alien goop after all.

     

    “why do people wonder around so much, its like half the time
    theyre just drivnig about in their stupid dune buggies and an old fire engine.
    or going into or coming out of the room with the big head in it. just stand
    still idiots.”

     

    Because they need to move between one location and another.

     

    “why did the alien special effects give ancient
    civilisations directions to a military bioweapons plant?”

     

    That’s one of the open questions of the film, it’s not
    necessarily supposed to have an answer.

     

    “when were they supposed to have done this? 3000 years ago?
    30000 years ago? billions of years ago at the dawn of life?”

     

    Same as above.  We
    know that humans had recorded their existence 35000 years ago and they apparently
    were planning on wiping us out 2000 years ago.

     

    “if the engineer guy at the start created life on earth, why
    do we clearly see trees and grass?”

     

    Who says that was Earth?

     

    “why did his DNA become primative organisms which over
    billions of years of evolution came to look almost identical to him, sort of?”

     

    Who says they created all life, they might have just helped
    evolve humanity.  We don’t really know
    what the Engineers did and not finding out is sort of a key point to the film.

     

    “if his DNA was exactly the same as ours, why wasnt he a
    human?”

     

    Basic biology.  Humans
    share something like 99.6% of our DNA with chimps and half our genes can be
    found in most plants.  Even if the
    Engineers had just a 0.01% difference in DNA that could still account for some
    serious differences in appearance.  The
    DNA might have even been a perfect match. 
    Remember that every breed of dog is the same species of animal with
    essentially interchangeable DNA.  The
    differences between most dog breeds is still greater than between the Engineers
    and humans.

     

    “what was charlize therons motivation in any of this? she
    decided to take 4 years out of her busy schedule as a top corporate exec to go
    on a mission she was totally surprised turned up a positive result?”

     

    She clearly stated that she wanted to keep her eyes on
    Weyland and not get screwed over if he died on some far off planet.

     

    “why did old Guy Pearce do the whole hologram pretend Im not
    on the ship thing? particularly when his medical machine was on display?”

     

    He had his own objectives. 
    Not having people know you’re around can be an advantage.

     

    “why when people found out he was did they not seem
    surprised?”

     

    Because a hell of a lot more shocking things had just
    happened.

    “why did the big special effect hit old Guy Pearce on the
    head? why did he stand there thinking about it first?”

     

    He just wanted to kill them all, so he did.  Apparently the Engineers had a problem with
    humans.  If he took a second to think
    about it that’s because occasionally people think about things.  He’d just pooped out of a 2000 year sleep and
    was being confronted by a race of primitives form millions of lightyears away,
    he was probably somewhat confused.

     

    “why did old guy pearce need to be there in the room anyway,
    and not just talk through the robot from his bed?”

     

    Weyland was somewhat delusional, which is why he funded the
    whole mission to begin with.  Vickers
    even tries to talk him out of it but he wants to see what’s down there for
    himself and old eccentric people can be stubborn.

     

    “actually legit plot question, what did David say to the big
    special effect?”

     

    Ultimately unimportant.

     

    “why was the big special effect having a sleep anyway?
    youdve thought he’d have things to do during a massive weapons accident.”

     

    Maybe going into stasis was the only way to save
    himself.  Maybe he was waiting for a
    rescue that never came.  There’s
    countless possibilities.

     

    “why did the aliens wait to destroy earth til now?”

     

    One of the mysteries of the movie, it’s not necessarily
    supposed to have an answer.

     

    “why did the aliens store their fabulously dangerous
    bioweapon in the room adjacent to the bridge”

     

    I don’t know that it necessarily was ‘right’ next to the
    bridge, but ultimately we don’t know the layout of the bridge, the ship’s power
    source or how much room they had to store stuff.  Plus, a starship is essentially one giant
    enclosed space so they were probably banking more on the idea that their weapon
    wouldn’t leak in the first place more than were they stored it.

     

    “what happened to the black stuff monsters that killed the
    biologist for no reason and somehow made the geologist a zombie for no reason?”

     

    Like I’ve said, the black goo is sort of a mystery and there’s
    a lot of potential explanations but it’s ultimately unimportant.

     

    “how did the alien know noomi rapace was on the life boat
    thing? how did he keep track of this while his ship was falling out of the sky?”

     

    Maybe he followed the wreckage, maybe he used his spaceman
    technology to do a bioscan.  Due to the
    speed he got to her I’m guessing he ejected while the ship was still crashing
    and followed her from there.

  • http://www.facebook.com/olaf2046 Olaf Johnson

    I took a year of Astronomy and 2 years of Physics in college which allows me to understand a few things about silica dust storms, rocks, weathering, and te effects of unbuffered high wind storms on the surfaces of planets like Mars and the moons of Saturn and Jupiter. We’ve established that no one has been around there in 2,000 years. SO everything we see that crew encounters have been as is and untouched by animals, engineers or aliens in all that time.

    At some point someone decided to carve a pirate skull on the side of what we the audience sees to be the mountain or cliff face either on the site or a nearby mountain. Weather is a daily occurance! Weathering and Erosion is a constant occurance! These are facts! 

    Dust storms can occur as frequently as ever 30 seconds to as infrequently as every hundred years on extra planetary and lunar surfaces. Silica dust storms on LV-223 are seen to be abrasive and voilent and occurring at a strength that is strong enough to blow a dune buggy over and people around will be strong enough to erode away a what we see to be a freshly carved CGI skull  skull in a matter of days with daily occurances or a matter of years with annual occurances.Even if the dust storm happens once every hundred years that skull won’t be there after 2000 years!

    That is a fact!  

    Why are you defending sloppy writing is beyond me! DON”T YOU EVER READ PROPER SCIENCE FICTION BOOKS from authors like Niven, Baxter, Clark, Bear….!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/MK7NJGTJOZKFY7YM6N6O4YU4LU Likewise

    Every time I see severe plot holes in other people’s work I commence burning my own manuscripts.  

  • FUR Q

    You guys do realise this was just a film right?

  • Hiver

     Prometheus – Hivers slightly different script:

    ———————————————————————————————————

    1. Caveat one: Its far easier just changing something then creating something entirely new

     2. Caveat to the caveat one: Ridlley Scott and the writer didnt create
    something entirely new but built it from existing materials, movies and
    stories.

    ———————————————————————————————————–

    – Wayland seeks immortality from the get go.

    – His bid for it is creating androids like David.

    Who is a prototype experiment one step away from next design which will
    allow Wayland to upload himself into a new seemingly immortal android
    body.

    – The discovery of young scientists and their convictions throws a
    proverbial wrench in his plans by presenting another option that may be
    available.

    – twist – he uploaded himself into the android body of Charlize. Or someone else in the crew.

    Its just a copy of him so he doesnt feel threatened personally – therefore he goes to investigate and keep full control at situ.

    – Space jockeys are not genocidal maniacs. They are also pressured by
    their own mortality – as any other living creature in universe. Those
    heads are not their helmets – but their heads. therefore they are not 3
    meters tall superhumans but those sad elephantine creatures. (The elephant man references)

    – nano-goo is something they found (not their creation) and their own bid for immortality of a
    different kind. Insert various metaphysical themes into it.

    – nano-goo has its own plans. But, at first it plays nicely seemingly
    under some control of the last living space jockey that is as we see, largely
    mutated nano-remade being in the movie itself.

    – Space jockey interacts (not – talks. although he could learn from humans), with humans and comes to find them aggressive
    and a danger which humans prove through their behavior – and by
    revealing their history to him.

    He starts to think of them as a Virus.

    – He goes full mental when he discovers David and Wayland (Charlize – whoever) androids are completely synthetic –

    – which is a complete and utter anathema to Space Jockeys – them being all biologically inclined as they are.

    – Nano-goo feels the same.

    -Takes over space jockey completely or they join forces in eradicating
    human ALIEN SCUM. Both start producing different creatures to attack and
    destroy these horrible insane ALIENS, improving design as they go.

    – Everyone dies at the end.

    – Last human alive erases all data on Prometheus about the position of Earth exact location, before being killed.

    last shots:

    Nano goo (in form of one of the monsters) switches on emergency S.O.S. signal on Prometheus that Nostromo catches years later.

    – creates last flower pods of facehuggers using human and space jockey bodies as building material.

    – Sets in for a long wait.

  • J_Temperance

     The cameras were on their helmets.  When they found out the air was breathable, somebody said something like “We’re taking off our helmets, switch to shoulder cam.”

  • Legolas

     Why is it that a random guy in on the nets can come up with something thats actually better than what highly paid pros produced?

  • Legolas

    Ok … so after seeing the RLM review and the comments here I finally got to see this movie myself. Usually I’m the guy who defends most movies  against extensive criticisms. I am not a hater who enjoys tearing apart a movie just for the sake of it, I rather like to enjoy the positive aspects of it. But in this case I must say:

    Mike, Jay … plinkett nuke this thing from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  • Gabesz

    I think the best explanation is that it takes place in the universe of IDIOCRACY. just think about it. all the reaction explaind. they are all stupid. 

     the fact that this movie was made with this script is an indication of the direction our species is heading.

  • Prometheusdude

    THIS IS NOT THE SAME PLANET FROM ALIEN!

  • Viro

     Sounds like the meaning of geek changed again.

  • Viro

    The space program in Idiocracy would have been Mentos in a bottle of Diet Coke.

  • Trey

    There were only a couple of really egregiously annoying things in the movie. One of them was:
     
    “DAVID… WE ARE LEAVING!”

    Really? Did you really need to go there yet again?

  • Dfdfadfads

     And then he decided to take a nap…

    I actually enjoyed this movie, and I think RLM is being a bit too critical at this point, despite the fact I agree that there some severe issues with story logic at times.

  • salmiac

    Jay deserves a haircut and an Oscar.

  • ThatsWooooo

    Hmmm … bald tall white people in uniforms are the superior race …

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Mozingo/100000177174007 Matt Mozingo

    I can’t allow you to do that Dave… that is what I kept thinking everytime I saw david. Also… that rolling ship garbage just about killed the enjoyment I had for the movie… when this comes out on bluray I will be skipping that part every single time.

  • TremblingEagle

    all the speculations and discussions of plot make me appreciate how great Starship Troopers was, it functioned completely well on multiple levels.

    As a popcorn scifi action movie with all the beats, including love story redemption and action set pieces.

    As a subversive satire of such and propaganda war films.

    AND draws comparisons between humans and expansionist, aggressive, hive minded aliens with rigid social social structure.

     

  • Pingback: Prometheus - direkter Alien-Nachfolger von Ridley Scott - Seite 17 - SciFi-Forum()

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Hughes/718206723 Jason Hughes

    Again, it’s like poetry; they rhyme.

  • Giopit

    Paul Verhoeven dude! 
    The good 80´s and 90´s!

  • Legolas

     It really managed the fine line between being an entertaining action scifi movie and still having some precious intellectual tidbits :)

  • http://twitter.com/kzap333 Andrew Coleman

    The med pod doesn’t only work on men. It was just intended to be used by a man so they didn’t program in a Caesarean section, which is why she picked another proceeder in the same area. The pod was clearly designed for Weyland and was foreshadowing the fact he was still alive.
    They shocked the head to try and get a reaction.
    Yes they were insinuating shaw may have been an android like David, in fact one of the characters explicitly states that. It fits in with the themes of creation and humanity.Guess the reasons RLM didn’t use those questions in the video is they’re not stupid.

  • Hiver

     I would make it be the same.

  • Hiver

     The only conclusion i can deduce from it all is that i need to be paid much higher. much, much higher. Also… i came up with that in like… 20 minutes i think. Not that im bragging but…. i dont see whats the problem really.

  • Hiver

     Duh.

  • ILikeDumbMovies

    re: all the comments below.

    Why do people waste so much time trying to intelligently explain stupid movies??

     

  • Legolas

     Because it advertised itself as a thoughtful movie and thats what we expected ?

  • ILikeDumbMovies

    Right. But once you’ve seen it, and you realize it is a dumb movie, why
    spend so much time applying intelligent analysis to it. The folks who
    are doing so below are putting more thought into the movie than the
    writers, producers, and director – who got paid to make the film

  • AdamBaNgSeve

    because the human being likes discuss, asking, compliment, criticize … thinking is part of our animal class, not only instinct.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

     I kind of almost give this one a pass. Even today many medical wounds are sealed with a powerful glue that seals very very quickly. We can reasonably assume that we just weren’t shown the full closing procedure…since it is so blatantly impossible for 8 staples to firmly close a fully transverse abdominal wound.

  • IDONTHAVEANEMAILFUCKYOU

     So how about you fat lazy fucks get to work on releasing
    that quigley plinkett review instead of this stupid eating fried chicken
    and moving scenery around movie review bullshit that nobody gives a fuck about. And where the fuck is my pizza roll again?

  • ILikeDumbMovies

    Too bad thinking wasn’t part of Prometheus’ writer’s instinct

  • JayDeeEss

    The planetary body that Prometheus flies to is called LV-223. The planetoid that theNostromo crew land on in Alien (and is later colonised by the Weyland-Yutani Corporation prior to the events of Aliens) is called LV-426, informally known as ‘Acheron’. The different designations seemingly confirm that these are different planetoids.

    Both planetoids are depicted as moons circling larger gas giants. LV-426 is one of at least four moons orbiting a red-hued gas giant. LV-223 is one of two moons orbiting a blue-coloured gas giant. Given that we physically see four moons in Alien (three moons and the gas giant are seen in LV-426’s sky) and a comprehensive 3D starmap inPrometheus only shows two, the conclusion is that these are different gas giants (otherwise the gas giant changes colour and acquires two additional moons in thirty years, which seems implausible).

    In Alien, LV-426 is identified as being located in the Zeta II Reticuli star system. Zeta Reticuli is a real star system located 39.16 light-years from Earth in the constellation Reticulum, consisting of two stars in a binary orbit. However, the two stars are extremely far apart (dozens of times the distance between the Sun and Pluto), meaning that each star could hold an extensive solar system of its own without gravitationally interfering with the other.
    In Prometheus, the destination star system is not identified. A distance of 327,000,000,000,000 km is given, which translates as 34.56 light-years. Given that Zeta Reticuli’s distance has been estimated with a strong degree of accuracy (the error margin is only 0.1 light-years), this would seem to confirm that LV-422 is not only a different planetoid to the one in Alien and Aliens, but is located in a totally different star system altogether. Some fans have postulated that LV-422 is located at Gliese 86, a star just under 35 light-years away in the constellation of Eridanus. This is especially popular as an extrasolar gas giant was discovered circling Gliese 86 in 2000. Gliese 86 and Zeta Reticuli are located in the same general neighbourhood, only being separated from one another by 10 light-years.

    This splendid theorising has been torpedoed by Ridley Scott saying straight-out thatPrometheus takes place in the Zeta Reticuli II star system as well, however.

    Thus, the two planetoids in Prometheus and Alien – LV-223 and LV-426 – are different planetoids but they are located in the same star system. Based on the evidence above, I’d still suggest they are orbiting different gas giants.
    http://www.thewertzone.blogspot.com/2012/06/filling-blanks-tying-prometheus-to.html

  • Cohnwrithe

    I “liked” Starship Troopers.  Good story idea, solid effects, however the acting was horrible in that movie.  The actors might as well have been still holding their scripts, because they spoke their dialogue like they were doing a first read through.

  • Blackingfactory

    Love it!

  • Oh Dear

     I completely agree with you.

  • Shannonbird1

    While some of these questions are good, a few of them seem kinda obvious to me. Like if you’re running from an enormous crashing spaceship and look behind you all you’re gonna see is SHIP, gauging the distance of which way is what would be damn difficult. Easy for the viewer to nitpick because we can see the whole shape, the people in the movie couldn’t. Shaw only realized because she had fallen and it gave her a different angle. Personally I liked all the questions the film brought up, I find movies that spoon feed me info kinda boring.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

     http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2012/06/13

  • Hiver

     Again – i would change that so it fits with original movie.
    If Nostromo caught a signal that its computer understood as an S.O.S. signal – then it had to be human made. Aliens do not know how to make S.O.S. signals.

  • Hiver

     Because the movie deserves it. Because without discussing and pointing out what is bad there cannot be any improvements in the future.

    Here is deconstruction in details over on rogcodex, starting about page 17, when movie was released. I didnt see the movie for some time so i couldnt join in at once but i added later:  direct link: http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/index.php?threads/prometheus-new-images-and-article.66864/page-17

  • Legolas

    Group therapy …

  • squag

    you’re going to watch it again?

  • anal_sweat

     And a lot of people didn’t enjoy the movie. Those people (myself included) want redlettermedia to do what they do best – get Plinkett to rip Ridley Scott a new arsehole.

  • anal_sweat

     This. Fucking this. Agreed 100%.

  • Yeee

    I give plenty of fucks about halt in the bag. No pizza roll for you!

  • justafan

    Ha ha, I love you guys. 

  • Bob
  • Hiver

    because it fucking deserves it and because you will get fed by that same shit over and over if you dont criticize it dumbass.

    Fuck you and your personall entitlement to not be bothered with IQ and complaining about criticizm issues.

  • Tamemlin

    Here’s a question…

    If David is watching Lawrence of Arabia at the beginning, couldn’t he watch Alien?  And thus know what’s going on?

    Or is this a parallel universe where everying other than the Alien Quadrilogy exists?

    If so, what did alternate Ridley Scott direct in 1979 and was it better than Prometheus?

  • blastor138

     They asked a similar question in Last Action Hero.

  • Deviantlightning

    Nobody briefed the crew —> presumably they were payed a lot of money

    Why did the Engineers create us —> unimportant, it’s touched on briefly and the answer seems to be “because they could”

    Why did they want to kill us —> again, unimportant, because it suited them, the actual answer doesn’t matter

  • Hiver

     :plinkett facepalm:

  • rakath

    I think the problem was even the screenwriter didn’t know the answers to those questions. That’s why they made no sense at all.
    If the writer knew all the answers, he could leave a lot of the questions unanswered. The mysteries would still seem logical, and would be possible to figure out.

    Now they were just holes left by sloppy screenwriting.

  • Robert Wilson

    I just listen to Fassbender’s sultry voice and try to pretend the rest was just a dream

  • MovieGames

    Prometheus
    Graphics: 10Sound: 10Gameplay: 6Story: 5

  • AdamBaNgSeve

    Xbox 360? PS3? PC?

  • Thor

    Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner was also a miss at the theater but he improved it when the directors cut was released years later. Will that happen to Prometheus? 

  • PlayerDavid01

    Already left the patch for fix some bugs in the game?
    For example, the 3d map always changes, is random? sometimes the android freezes… the AI stops responding. Again, a new game, from big developer, is full of bugs.

  • indischrot

     I kinda liked the “Drake, we are leaving” callback, but thanks Jason for making me laugh out loud.

  • http://twitter.com/bengritz Ben Gritz

     No.

  • http://twitter.com/bengritz Ben Gritz

     show your work, what characters? If you mean the biologist, he was introduced as an idiot, and maintained that behavior consistently through the movie.

  • http://twitter.com/bengritz Ben Gritz

     1) Shaw was still in shock and not exactly totally pulled together at that point, plus Weyland didn’t care. He was going there to see them anyway, his ego being such that surely he’ll reach a different result.

    2) David heavily implies like 30 seconds that he pretty much wants Weyland to die “all children want to kill their parents.” Or something. Remember, Bishop said the early models were “a bit twitchy.”

  • http://twitter.com/bengritz Ben Gritz

    the captain first lost track because he became occupied over preparing for the storm and became preoccupied with Shaw/Holloway taking too long with the head.

    later when they discovered missing, the first thing you do with a problem is confirm that your technology is giving you correct information. Would you fly an airplane into a mountain because your map said it wasn’t there?

  • blastor138

     huh

  • http://twitter.com/Darth_Sabius Sablicious

    Tear this Generation Transformers bile a new octopussy slit, Plinkett.

    Scott should be shot for insulting audiences as he did with Poometheus.  I will never pay to see another sequel, prequel or spin-off ever again.

    You’ve brought it on yourselves, Hollyflop.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2RIB6OU6MDJUANZJX6CUCXHY7Y Dr. Killpatient

    Actually this comic doesn’t answer the OP argument in any way or form.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2RIB6OU6MDJUANZJX6CUCXHY7Y Dr. Killpatient

    I guess you missed the review where Mike and Jay both recommended the movie.

  • blastor138

     I guess you missed the part where these guys eviscerated the SW prequels for having the same kind of plot problems as this movie.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2RIB6OU6MDJUANZJX6CUCXHY7Y Dr. Killpatient

    Now when you say “same kind of plot problems”, I think you meant “totally different kind and not at all similar to SW” kind of plot problems.

  • Hiver

    It doesnt need to, because the argument is god damn stupid.

  • Kkmonkey

    and why is the medical machine only programed for male patient only when it’s in Charlize theron’s personal room, was she secretly a dude?  and why is it they set it up that her room a “fully-self-sustaintable” escape pod which she use when trying to escape….?  so many questions…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

     Well you’re why Jay is wrong.

    People like you seem to be just not getting some parts of the movie which actually have in-movie explanations, and some of those people post those things as if the movie had problems, as opposed to they themselves having comprehension problems. (Protip: the bed and escape pod weren’t for her. Remember anyone else important on the ship that might warrant a medbot and escape pod?)

    Meanwhile, people like me who do point out valid and unforgivable plot holes get lumped in with you, and Jay tells both of us to go get a life, when really it’s just you that should do so.

  • Guest

    Jay’s not telling people that question the movie to get a life. How could you assess what he says as anything like that? Hell, they made a whole other video that’s nothing BUT questioning the logic of the movie.

    He’s saying the movie may fall short in a lot of areas, but it’s well made and ambitious and not the type of film that should be lumped in with the Star Wars prequels as far as backlash and anger goes. I’m really amazed at how many people don’t seem to understand such a simple statement.

  • Legolas

     It would have been funny if he really was watching some cheap alien like horror movie … :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

     Not sure why you think I didn’t get it. I got what he said.

    I am saying he is wrong, and people being careless in their criticism helped him become frustrated to the point of being wrong and expressing his wrongness.

  • Guest

     He doesn’t even come across as frustrated though. In a very even-tempered and fair way, he explains why this isn’t a movie worth getting upset about.

    Also, he is wrong IN YOUR OPINION. This isn’t a black and white issue and you’re posting your thoughts as if it is.

  • Legolas

     I think Jay is tired of the “Worst movie evaaar !!!!!!” crowd (notice the superfluous use of exclametions marks…). And he is right to be. But I agree with Maximus that he is unfairly throwing together the common haters and people who are justifiable disappointed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

     “If you’re one of those people that gets that upset over this movie, you should probably stop watching movies. In a world of Jack and Jill’s and What to Expect When You’re Expecting and movies like that, an ambitious but incredibly flawed sci-fi film, if that’s what gets you horribly upset, then there’s no hope for you”

    This is a statement loaded with hyperbole and exaggeration. He doesn’t have to raise his voice or widen his eyes to express frustration. These words articulate it adequately enough.

    And he’s wrong.

  • Tenser Spacy

    If Mike Stoklasa was a real person, his face would be deformed from getting punched so much.

  • ILikeDumbMovies

    If you’re comparing Prometheus to Blade Runner, you’re high

  • DB

    • Why do they drink champagne(Armand de Brignac Blanc de Blancs) from 2011? It’s what David serves the guy who I dont care about. For that matter, why bring it on board? It must cost millions in fuel carring it 4 years in space. Did Riddley Scott get any kickback for showing this bottle? I think it’s the only visable advertizement in the film? Armand de Brignac will be here in the far future?

    • Why….well, there’s several questions here about David dying his hair. Did he do this like all the time, or was this his first time(while watching Lawrence of Arabia), did he really bring hair dye with him or did the ship manufacture it, ala like in Star Trek(“Earl Grey, hot”)? Seems like something an android or anyone else would not be allowed to bring with him. So did David smuggle it on board? Could be, the X-mas tree was a fucking suprise to Charlize Theron, seems security was slack?

    • It took 4 years to get there. The escape life pod could sustain life for only 2 years. What…..?

    • Where did the captain get the info that is was a WMD shop, did he overhear something, was he watching some video and fgured it out, but it was cut from the movie? He just shows up, all sweat from masterbating(?) and tells Noomi this.

    • Why does Charlize Theron have no concept of distance or cost? Is it to show what a fucking brat she is? Prometheus travels 35 light years into space, but CharlizeTheron says “We’re a half billion miles from Earth”. Thats only just past Jupiter. She also says the trip cost “a trillon dollars”(=fucking bargin price, 35 light years, stoopid fuck). The United States public debt is almost $16 trillion now, in 2012. Is she 12, mentally?

    •The art book about the film depicts aliens “above”(?) the ones we see(Space Jockeys(SJ) ), the ooze was given to the SJ by one of these other alines. Or do the SJ shrink alot when they get old? Why didnt we get to see them in the movie? They look different from the SJ, more like prunefaced tibetans. Annunaki/ Archons anyone? Don’t know what the fuck this is? Well, its all about those darn reptilians that rule us all, shucks. Did Riddley really make a fim about reptiles?

    •Why can’t I think of any more clever questions?

    •Why have they not come out with clear info that there is no intention to make a sequel to Prometheus? Why are we left hanging like this? Why do we have so many questions, is it cuz we are a curious race? Why Riddley, why?
     
     

  • Fuckyou

    lol I don’t come here expecting whining.   Those 4 minutes were fantastic.  Great work, well done.
     

  • Fuckyou

     Great facial expression and awesome music choice as well

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/SVXIZH7TWORXAPZ4Z4QNOVPEWY baggins

    These are fan questions by Mike (not his POV I’m sure) which are mostly about plausibility. I have answered many comments like these on IMDb.
    – The problem with many haters of this movie is that they don’t have much of an idea about what is plausible.

  • Legolas

    Prometheus analysis, worth checking out (and fun to watch):
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1gX8Kwdg3I&feature=relmfu

  • LV426

    I have a hard time when people find criticisms in the reality of a futuristic world based on current understandings of things (this is directed at the comments, not the video, which I must have watched 9 times by now!)

    @DB: Did you ever think space travel just doesn’t cost as much anymore?  “Half a billion miles” I think was just being used as an expression for “a long long way”.  Like people say, “You’re 1 in a million” even though on a planet of several billion that doesn’t really mean much.  Maybe in this Prometheus world they discovered a way to space travel on the cheap.  Which they would if they started building ships in space, etc.  The attitude of most long-distance space travel movies is that it’s more like a ship on the water (where you can bring things to decorate your cabin, etc).  I don’t really understand why you’re ragging on the CHAMPAGNE.  What about the fucking chandelier in Theron’s room?  The coffee table?  CHAIRS?!  All these things have weight too, you know.  Obviously weight is no longer really a problem for space travel.

    Also, I hear there is most definitely a sequel to Pro., prequel to Alien coming.  This was planet LV-223.  The planet “Alien” and “Aliens” is set on is LV-426.  They’re very clear about that.  This isn’t the end of the origin story.

  • blastor138

    The mission is 4 years long.  Two years to get there and two years back.

  • Cohnwrithe

    This also isn’t the entire movie of Prometheus.  Anyone who knows Ridley Scott movies knows that only about 70% of the story ever makes it to the cinema. (Robin Hood, Kingdom of Heaven, etc).  I wouldn’t blame the unanswered questions or story issues on Scott, I’d blame them on the studios that love shorter movies (because they equal bigger sales).
    I’ve read the screenplay for Prometheus and almost all of the questions people have with the movie are answered in there.  I’m guessing the Bluray director’s cut will have this footage.  The problem is, in a movie of this kind, it’s very hard to edit things out and not leave gaping holes or logistical issues.
    For instance, in the screenplay, the planet that the engineer is on in the beginning of the movie isn’t Earth, it’s the planet they’re on now (LV-223), and the engineers were in the middle of terraforming the planet when the shit hit the fan.  The love scene between Halloway and Shaw (as written in the script) was actually a rape scene, and the fact that David was acting on Weyland’s agenda was much more defined, as was the relationship between Shaw, her religion, and her father.
    Again, Scott’s movies in Director’s Cut format are generally different movies than what we see in theaters.  I’m guessing (hoping) that’s the case here.

  • blastor138

     And when you say “totally different kind and not at all similar to SW”, I think you mean “I agree with you.”

  • Cohnwrithe
  • Tenser Spacy

    Also confirmation of Ridley Scott having transformed into a uber-douchey studio hack and “business man” (to use his own words), like a George Lucas without the absurd, end-to-end monetizing power.

    Now, there’s nothing wrong with making money, and at least Ridley Scott offers the theatrical cuts to the public.  But “Prometheus” turned out to be a lot more crass of a gimmick then I think the RLM boys are allowing for here.  Scott and his backers managed to trick both the fanboys and the art geeks into watching this pretty mess, and neither group left the theater happy.  Mike and Jay are right to say that a lot of fools are overreacting about this film, but it is still a bad omen.  If it makes money, expect more non-prequel re-quels and pre-post-sequel-geekwels on the horizon. 

  • Stu

    You guys rock – almost as funny as the Star Wars reviews. Glad to see I was not the only one wondering about these things.

    You guys should do a movie review about something that is actually done properly – like the original Alien for irony.

  • JoeJoe

    It makes about as much sense as only having left-handed screwdrivers – none.

    The only real reasons for the pod being “dudes only” was to make the abortion scene “more terrifying”. It was a sloppy setup that was delivered just as ham-handed. I mean, in the future, they don’t have a floppy disk for chicks? Dumb writers ignore the world created and the characters they create and just try to shoehorn in events without thinking in these terms.

    Most all of the “why?’ question that have no logical answer can be answered with writing reasons and nothing else:

    Why are there such inept crew members? To create tension.

    Why did the scardie-pants scientist try to pet the dick-cobra? To create tension.

    Why did the scientist with full access to schematics get lost? To create a situation where people get isolated from help, oh, and to create tension.

    Why did the all those scientist not do any science-stuff at all, like document, analyze, or take samples? It’s boring and samples aren’t scary. Let’s just have one scientist do anything and take a giant head and make it explode later. TENSION!

    LAZY 
    FUCKING 
    WRITING

  • JoeJoe

    Exposition over a communicator. Characters that have absolutely nothing to do but stay on the ship. Yeah, nothing alike at all.

  • JoeJoe

    Nobody briefed the crew -> So the writers could explain the premise of the story to the audience. It had nothing to do with a plot choice.

  • P_L_A_F

    I sense an idea for a Plinkett review!!! :D

  • http://churchofthecasualchristian.blogspot.com Pryopizm

     Nah, he’s right.  There are far worse and far more offensively stupid films out there that don’t even try to be good. 

    This movie isn’t so bad it’s hate-worthy.  It may have a dumb premise, stupid characters, and be utterly illogical.  But it’s not overtly cynical and it’s nowhere near as bad as AvP or Alien Resurrection. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

     The context here is this:

    I don’t watch Ridley Scott films in order to watch something that is defended as “At least it’s not Jack & Jill”.

    It’s ok to have high expectations of Ridley Scott, it’s ok to have high hopes about a beloved story universe, and it’s ok to be disappointed with Prometheus and express that disappointment.

    I watched one of the AvP’s and was sufficiently disappointed not to watch any of the others. I didn’t write long paragraphs on the internets about that.

    But if it had been directed by Ridley Scott and were that bad, I would have written long paragraphs on the internets about that.

    Cuz..like…that’s disappointing. And even so…There actually is hope for me. Because my position and argument is a reasonable one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000098740588 Jeremy Grunloh

    Blade Runner didn’t become “Blade Runner!” until many years later. In fact, when it came out, it bombed and critics and audiences alike hated it. Why? They didn’t get it. Just like you don’t get Prometheus. Don’t worry, though – in a few years when it becomes cool and hip to think Prometheus was a misunderstood classic, you’ll forget all about this shit you’re saying now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000098740588 Jeremy Grunloh

     “…the screenwriter didn’t know the answers to those question…”The makers of Blade Runner, 2001 and Mullholand Drive don’t have difinitive answers to many of the questions left hanging in those movies either. Somehow I doubt you think those movies suck.

  • Cohnwrithe

    Depends on who the “backers” were.  I’ve heard tale of producers saying “Fuck the Director’s Vision” during production and into post, because THEY wanted something else in the movie, or wanted to keep the movie under around 120 to have more showings per day, even if that meant butchering and potentially destroying the story.  The same thing happened to Fincher during Alien3.  That movie was a complete hack job and every decision he made to suit his vision was turned down, the result was a shitty mess.

    I do believe Scott has grown soft in his old age.  I saw him in a recent interview and he isn’t the hard ass he used to be, so I think it’s highly possible that he was bullied into cutting this movie to ribbons for time sake.  The script had many more scenes that would’ve explained a lot of the questions audiences had.
    James Cameron, like him or not, is at least still capable of making sure his vision ends up on screen, keeping strong that “Fuck the backers” attitude that a filmmaker needs to have to create a quality film.

  • Tenser Spacy

    How is 
    what’s become of Scott even an open question to you?  Don’t you read the content of your own links?

    Scott: “Dramatically, I’m about putting bums on seats. For me to separate my idea of commerce from art – I’d be a fool. You can’t do that. I wouldn’t be allowed to do the films I do. So I’m very user friendly as far as the studios are concerned. To a certain extent, I’m a businessman. I’m aware that’s what I have to do. It’s my job.”

    That spells haaaaaaaack.  This became blatantly obvious when he did “Gladiator”, which was an extremely dumbed-down and inferior version of Mann’s “Fall of the Roman Empire.”  He’s been doing pretty-looking Movies For Dummies since G.I.Jane, and is now starting to venture into Brian De Palma territory.  “Oh, so, my story makes no sense and my production is derivative of better films?  Oh well, at least I am ‘user-friendly’ when it comes to the studios.”

    The only thing left for him to do is mint his next bowel movement as “bold, stylistic.”

  • guest

    This whole schtick is so much funnier now that I’ve actually seen the movie.
     

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  • Cohnwrithe

    Yes, I read that he has to basically fulfill a promise to producers who loan him hundreds of millions of dollars to make extremely visual films (which is what he likes to make).  That promise is to fill seats.  If you want to make a large budget movie, you have to promise producers that you’re going to be giving them back *more* than they gave you.  Filmmaking 101.  If that makes him a “hack” in your eyes, then… I don’t know what to say.

    At the end of the day, the Producers (unless there’s a special clause in the contract) get to approve final cut on a movie, even for filmmakers as big as Scott.  So if they want a movie 30 minutes shorter, guess what?  They get an editor to make the “necessary” snips, whether it destroys the film’s logic and story or not.

  • rakath

    Having no definite answers is not the same as leaving the whole plot hole-y as a fishing net.

    Mulholland Drive is a David Lynch movie. Nobody knows what’s going on inside his brilliant mind.
    The questions left hanging in 2001 and BR were about the themes and subtext of the movie, really. And they made us think about humanity and stuff.

    In Prometheus the holes are in the main story, the main plotline. It feels like a script for a B movie.
    Because even the writers didn’t know what the actual plot was, and what that goo was, and why did they run towards… well basically everything that was said in that video.

  • Jman220

    “secret asshole”… gets me every time

  • Guest

     baggginnsessss…

    All people are arguing over are the supposed plot holes, though they don’t know it. The haters are right that it ”is terribly written, idiots for characters who goes against how both a human and a scientist would act” and that you should ”turn off” your brain to enjoy it, but they turned it off too far…

  • Tenser Spacy

    No, you still haven’t read your own link (or, at least, haven’t understood it) It’s not the need to put bums in seats that makes him a hack.  It’s the fact that he is shrugging his shoulders about the cuts.  When asked if he was going to re-cut the film to add in the extra twenty minutes that would, you know, allow this hacked-up mess to make more sense, he says:

    “Maybe. But I’m so happy with this engine, the way it is right now. I think it’s fine. I think it works. It can go in a section where, if you really want to tap in, look at the menu. To see how things are long, and it’s too long.”

    Oh, I see, I see.  He’s happy with this “engine” the way it is.  Scott is now spouting the same jargon that the studio ax-ers spout to cover for the fact that they just hacked out the heart and brain of a picture so that theaters could squeeze in one more showing per day. The fact he cares so little about this is obvious; he doesn’t want to expend the additional time and effort to make a new cut.  Which, fine, whatever.  He made approximately 45,000 cuts of Blade Runner, when all he really needed to do was remove the voiceover and then stop picking at the scab.

    Like I said, nothing wrong with making money, but a hack is a hack, and Ridley Scott is admitting that this is what he’s become.  

  • lead_sharp

    It does strike me that after Robin Hood Hollywood basically asked Scott ‘Could you please make a saleable movie sometime soon after that wasted effort?’ So he did this because he figured Alien was a sure win.

    The questions I’ve seen raised, about 90% seem pretty valid, the real science (as someone mentioned the cost and distance) seem loose at best and the science fiction seems badly handled and poorly thought out. Bare in mind that a film can be ambiguous AND be brilliant so long as what it presents the viewer is a valid well structured concept built on a believable story (especially for science fiction, which is supposed to make the impossible look possible convincingly). This simply doesn’t do that.
    When you walk out of a film thinking about what it and drawing sides with your friends in debates about what it all was all about and the meaning of it’s message, then your ambiguous film has been successful. If you walk out of it trying to fill logic gaps and and story holes so that film makes sense in any way possible, then the greater message hasn’t been communicated properly and the film hasn’t worked, no matter how nice it looks.  

  • lead_sharp

    *what it meant. Got a little ambiguous myself there.

  • http://feldmanfile.blogspot.com Len Feldman

    The fundamental problem with “Prometheus” is that there are so many plot holes that they merge into one big “Black Hole of Plot Holes.” What makes the movie generate debate isn’t that it’s thought-provoking, it’s that there are so many gaffes, plot holes, cliches and scientific mistakes that it’s unbelievable that anyone agreed to spend $200 million making it. In addition, it’s not like “Battleship,” which everyone knew was based on an idiotic concept to begin with; Ridley Scott directed two of the best science fiction movies ever made: “Blade Runner” and “Alien.” How could he possibly make such a mangled, cliched, brain-dead movie as “Prometheus?”

  • Cohnwrithe

    *sigh*

  • Tenser Spacy

    I know the feeling.

  • Eric Hoedown

    “Is he an expert on things that have never ever happened?” brilliant!
     

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=508186224 Jake Williams

    I’m happy about Mike’s voice lazily lapsing into Plinkett’s voice for this short little clip, because his confused, frustrated tone mirrors the emotions I experience when I see these movies he talks about. When I see something stupid I am often too blown away or angry to form a coherent thought to discuss it, so it makes for good viewing to see someone  simultaneously stupefied and lucid enough to talk about why.

  • Tenser Spacy

    The other elephant in the room is the bizarre way this pretty pile of slop was promoted to the public.  In the era dominated by sequel, prequels, retreads, re-boots and re-imaginings, you had a marketing campaign that at times practically ran away screaming from the obvious: this was plainly and simply a direct prequel to Alien.  Scott signed on to do a prequel to what had become — in the thirty-odd years since he shot the first film — an “established brand” (read: trashy, exploited, whore of a franchise).  In the family of Alien movies, this one is obviously far from the worst.  That’s largely because the bar had been set so low in recent years with the “Predator” crap, but also because Scott’s involvement at least insured that the thing would be competently shot.

    But, just like The Phantom Menace there was also no real reason for this story to exist.  Even if we pave in the massive holes in plot and characterization that were either not properly thought out or left on the cutting room floor, there would still be the question, “Was this a story that needed to be told?”  Considering their baffling attempts to cover up its franchise nature, you’d think someone (Scott? Lindelof?) would really have something a bit more profound to say than, well, nothing.   And that if they did, you’d think they’d have the clout to completely divorce the film from the Alien franchise, thereby freeing it from some of the franchise conventions that made the second half of the movie feel so forced, rushed and thematically brain-dead.  

    It’s just a really weird production, from concept to execution to marketing.  I have a feeling that the story of the various decision-making processes that birthed this jacked-up, jumbled Frankenstein monster of a movie would be infinitely more interesting than the film itself turned out to be.

  • Jane

    The actor who plays David is fantastic. The best thing in the entire thing.

  • BB429

    So-
    Every single day you guys are bombarded with suggestions for Plinkett reviews and cursed at for continuing Half in the Bag and called all sorts of names by nerds blah blah blah-

    but!

    Not only was I very very glad to see the HITB for Prometheus days after it came out, but I think this added clip is proof that we actually really DO need the full-blown Plinkett review for this brain-twister.

    My head hurts.

    Keep up the good work.

  • Ricky

    what was that black goo?
    it was the seed for an engineered bio-weapon
    was the black goo different from the sparkly green goo?
    there may have been several different types of bioweapons stored in the “canisters”, but for all we know it was just one and the same… may be the green stuff was used as a super food or aditive for the seeds
    was the black goo always intended for weapon or was it just alien cum?
    perhaps the “engineers” were looking to create a perfect form of life and erradicate the rest, i.e. they went insane or something a.k.a. your theory is as good as any
    how did the pre-recorded hologram old man knew how to look at where the scientists were at?
    he looked at the general direction of the audience
    why would holloway assume that the air was ok to breathe inside the space ship just because they detected oxigen in the atmosphere?
    that was pretty stupid but they kept the character consistently stupid throughout the movie
    they bring a biologist who instead of being curious scientifically at the finding of the extraterrestrial dead body just wants to run away
    I wouldn’t either examine shit if I didn’t have a reasonable way out, be it protection of some sort or at least an escape route
    but then latter when this scientist was confronted with the sketchy looking gray penis he wants to stick his face in it
    that’s the most stupid part of the movie, but it’s ok if they want to tell me a horror story (i’m a sucker or those)
    what was the point of revealing the relationship between charlize theron and weyland?
    thematically it symbolizes the rebelion of the created upon the creator, her character wants his throne because presumably she was neglected as a child and yearns the power to show her creator she’s worthy
    why would weyland want david to infect holloway with the black goo?
    maybe weyland didn’t told him to do exactly that, maybe david hates how holloway treats him as if he couldn’t ever have what he yearns the most in a despicable manner and decides to conduct an experiment
    if the black goo alters people’s dna why did the little fish come out of holloway’s eye?
    probably the black goo doesn’t alter the dna of people but is instead the seed of a bioweapon capable of controlling a host’s brain and bodily functions as several parasites here on earth actually do, in fact sharing many traits with actual parasites (search parasite on frog eye, for example)
    did david know holloway would impregnate shaw with the black goo right after he infected him?
    maybe not, maybe yes, while “not” requires no explanation “yes” could be explained by the texts on the spaceship he could read but the rest of the crew and us didn’t
    if we share the same dna with the engineers that created us, why do other life forms don’t share the same dna?
    if the engineers created us it could be thought that they planted the first organisms on earth some 3 billion years ago, however it could also be that they merely intervened in the evolution of a certain similar species once they discovered earth or turned their attention to it, or it could be that from the possibly innumerable planets capable of hosting life there is a repeating pattern of forms of life and they just decided to favor the path that led to their own origins (devastating the dinos?) or…
    why would the last engineer waste his time chasing shaw when he could just fly away and complete his mission?
    he may have thought she was responsible of the attack to his ship and acted through his rage
    how did those guys get lost in the cave when the things already mapped it in 3d and were tracking their every move?
    there was a fault in the communication device to the ship where the main map was due to the silicon storm, it was stupid not to bring a mini map that required no access to external communication
    why would they agree on a mission before a briefing?
    huge wads of cash, may have been initially misled to think it was a terraforming project, maybe they were forced (will the corporations take control of goverment?)
    why did weyland had to pretend he was dead?
    her daughter knew he wasn’t, and those loyal to him too; the guys who were expendable and possibly enraged by their situation needn’t know that the guy who put them there was harmable and quite fragile in fact
    why would the engineers create a star map that was just a weapons research facility?
    maybe it wasn’t a weapons research facility once, maybe those who wanted to develop weapons and unleash them upon the universe for some reason or another won out and the rest were so few or so defeated they suicided before experiencing such horrors, or maybe it was a way of identifying when their creations were as far advanced as to begin to be a threat to their creators
    was creating us a mistake?
    maybe their last creation proved to be a mistake and just those few survivors who went mad wanted to kill both their creations at the same time out of spite
    shouldn’t the guy with the head cut off be running away of the room with the black goo?
    maybe he was buying time as the alternatives were compromised
    maybe we will never know the answers, a point of the movie was that you choose what you want to belive in

  • Anon

    I think part of the point of several of those questions is that the possible explanations get convoluted and wacky, the engineers would need to be universally batshit insane in order to contrive the events in the movie- but maybe that’s part of the point.

    Also:
    “how did those guys get lost in the cave when the things already mapped it in 3d and were tracking their every move?there was a fault in the communication device to the ship where the main map was due to the silicon storm, it was stupid not to bring a mini map that required no access to external communication”

    They got lost in the cave hours before the silicon storm, the problem with the communication only arose after the rest of the team was on the ship wondering where the hell those guys were.

    Some of your other explanations leave open other questions though, like why would they keep a mission about the origins of life on Earth secret when it’s pretty cool? Or why keep Weyland a secret when the crew was going to know that he was on the ship eventually anyway when he left cryo? I doubt he would have made a very effective hostage regardless when he has only days to live.

    Some movies you appreciate more in retrospect, Prometheus isn’t one of those I think.

  • blastor138

     tl;dr

  • Ricky

    thank you for reading my wall of text
    I was just proposing the answers I came up with while watching the movie

    I think I can conceive plausible answers to those other questions you mention and that gives me a nerdgasm, because I have the chance to propose very logic hypotheses. Since I am doing that through retrospective I want to make clear that when you said you you meant I… I mean you, not me… or some instead of all… you get the point xD

  • Abbey Salvo

    Thank you! I’m sick and tired of people blindly accepting every stupid thing in a movie because it’s “pretty.” You hit the nail on the head with this video. The movie was terrible. Also to add to your list of questions:

    Why would a spaceship that is traveling 2 years on auto pilot need so many lights on it’s exterior? Wouldn’t this waste energy unnecessarily? 

    Why, after the biologist died and everyone knew that he had died, would you open the door when you realize his locator suddenly activated and was right outside the spaceship? Like it’s no big deal? After everything that’s happened? What are you thinking?

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  • Paper_Tiger

    You fell for it.

  • JoeJoe

    Fail and wrong on so many different points. You’re, however, right on a few – so it’s not a pure fail.

    We’re not told was the black goo is, but the crew assumes it’s used in a weapon. It’s also used in religious ceremonies as shown at the beginning and displayed in a heavily decorated room that looks like a temple. It’s “magical” like the smoke monster. Yes. It’s black cum.

    The green stuff was Engineer blood. We see this stuff again when the alien head explodes. How would it still be wet 2000 years later, in either case?

    The hologram points directly at the two he’s talking about and is also shown to face directly at the android when he talks about him. The reason the “hologram” does it is because it was shot with live actors.

    Every character does dumb shit in the movie, not because the movie calls for it, but because the writing isn’t in any context. Holloway doesn’t have any establishing shot for him being “dumb”.

    None of the characters had a reasonable reaction to finding an alien culture or an alien body. The biologist is no exception.

    Hey, you’re actually right about Vickers. There was a child/parent (creation/god) theme, but it was poorly done. There was nothing established to make the “daddy” scene meaningful or useful. It does, however, explain why Vickers treats David like a hated brother.

    David hating Holloway is a dumb answer for the infection with no supporting evidence.

    The fish-eye thing was in the movie because it the writer thought it would “look cool”, since it doesn’t follow any of the movie logic.

    You’re right about the DNA. It could have been written this way, but everything else being wrong tells me you just out-thought the writer and found a way to make it work.

    The Engineer chased shaw because they wanted a scene where the squid face-fucks an Engineer. It had nothing to do with the world or character motivation.

    The two get lost because the writer wanted two people isolated for a later scene. Also, it makes no since that people wouldn’t have personal computers in the future. There is no point in the movie where there was “a communication fault” before the storm hit – you’re confusing a later scene.

    The reason of a “secret mission” was to have a point in the movie to explain the premise to the audience. 

    Once again, I think you outsmarted the writer about why Weyland pretended to be dead.

    Weapons factory was something else first? It does have a temple and religious scenery. You get +2 points for this one, since this one actually has backing evidence in the movie for being possible.

    The point of the first alien hologram was to lead the actors to the temple room. The point about the room being “sealed” may give credence to why they’d run here to hide, but sloppy writing make me think that I’m just out-thinking the writer.

  • JoeJoe

    The most important questions of all:

    How is Shaw going to take a space-trip with NO WATER and NO SOURCE OF FOOD?? Those jerky treats she picked up ain’t gunna last her 3 days. She already ran low on oxygen and should have been dead hours ago.

    The android is in pieces and only he could pilot the ship. Who’s driving the fucking ship?? We’ve already been shown it requires a physical being in the chair to work.

  • Marcus202

    Havent been to the movie theater in 2 years…went for this film…now I regret my decision. Typical hollywood trash that made me give up on movies in the first place. Fuck you Ridley Scott and Lindelof I want my 14 dollars back. 

  • Ricky

    Hi Joe
    *The religious ceremony you speak of from the beginning I took as merely a suicide but that could be so. The thingy he drank didn’t look like black goo to me. It seemed to break appart every molecule of his body, including DNA.*Ohh, THAT green goo… I thought they were talking about the green goo in the canisters in which the black goo floated. I think David also found it remarkable for it to retain the physical properties it displayed after being exposed to the atmosphere for so long despite being a seemingly organic substance.*I can’t remember that part about the briefing too well it seems. My brain has failed me often.*The way he looks and behaves told me he fancied himself a maverick. The establishing shot for him being also a dumb one is taking off his helmet. Then the rest of the crew follow (because it will be used as a lazy plot device later), because when excitement from being in contact with the seemingly-safe unknown kicks in you may behave like a child without noticing it.*I’ve met many people who defy what I believed to be a reasonable reaction. I’ve come to empathize with the most apparently ridiculous behaviors, so I find these characters to be mostly consistent throughout. Notable exception is the biologist.*I recall hearing in some other Alien movie that the early synthetic people (in that fantasy) reportedly could have psychothic behavior. In fact, let me get that for you: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090605/quotes (search for “model”) Bishop: “Well, that explains it then. The A2s always were a bit twitchy. That could never happen now with our behavioral inhibitors. It is impossible for me to harm or by omission of action, allow to be harmed, a human being.”I find it believeable that a man-engineered intelligence could develop the range of feelings and thoughts any human with feelings has thought. This may need several tries of refining their intellectual processes*The eye thing and the infected geologist’s behavior resemble what real parasites in our world can do to hosts. It’s also visually exciting.*It’s a shocking turn of events to learn that such an advanced being could still be ruled by his feelings. I myself find it plausible.*At the moment I thought the geologist could have been the one to lead in fear the way back without a map. It’s most difficult to think straight when in fear, rage or horny. Later on, when no way back was found and a storm was raging they couldn’t ask for directions on where not to go.*I concurr that the briefing was an exposition-forced scene. If I was a capitalism-based corporation, I’d want to have always the advantage. Finding our creators and getting any useful info from them would mean a huge advantage if no one else had that. Maybe revealing the workers the mission after they’d gone so far would mean that the corporation needn’t silence (by any means) those who would have been briefed and refused to go. It’d still be hard to keep the thing secret since Shaw and Holloway weren’t employees and probably made public their investigations.Thank you very much for your contribution. I deeply enjoy this.

  • Jake the dog

    2nd

    Fuck you Ridley Scott

  • Enjay

    Further questions:

    When the geologist comes back to life as the Secret Crab Zombie, why is it that his locator/camera starts going off when he gets next to the ship?  It hasn’t been on before.  Did the crab figure out how to turn on the communicator in between scuttles?
    The Super Expensive Surgical Contraption (TM) of which only twelve were made notifies Elizabeth that it was designed for dudes only.  This makes sense given that it’s owned by Weyland probably, but then what was he expecting to use it for?  Were they aliens going to tell him how to surgically remove The Old from him?  Were there some other dudes on the ship who were presumed to be in need of surgery?  How is it that the world’s most advanced surgical takes one look at female anatomy and decides it’s as baffled as a pre-teen encountering their first sex-ed book?

  • Mako

    Loved your spot on analysis of the SW Prequels.  But sad to say you missed the mark on PROMETHEUS.  I know it’s bad movies that make you guys look like your know what you’re talking about – but when you reach for problems that are not there… it makes you look like you NEED to find things in order to continue what you do.  You FAILED on this one.

  • Guest

     Hey, genius, they talk much more in-depth and fair about the movie right here: http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-prometheus/

  • ILikeDumbMovies

    Agreed. On the other hand, why do we expect these burned-out directors
    who have not made a good movie in 15 years to make a good movie
    (Scorsese, Spielberg, Scott, so on)

  • ILikeDumbMovies

    To answer your first question – because it looks cool – lol

  • Anon

    Again, the bit about them getting lost doesn’t make any sense. They were very clear that the Geologist and the Biologist had been dicking around for the hours between when they split up from the rest of the group, and the rest of the group heading out. Hell, the Geologist was the guy who provided the mapping equipment in the first place.

    Like with many of the other contentious points, the only explanations are wacky and unreasonable. Like maybe they both had simultaneous brain aneurysms, seized on the ground for several hours, and woke up confused about where they were and what they’re going to do right before the storm rolled in.

    That would explain some of their later actions as well, actually.

    Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe a side effect of being revived from cryostasis includes massive cranial hemorrhaging? That’s why everyone was so goddamn retarded. Including the engineer who decided he would rather chase down and try to fuck up a stranded human (who would have probably died anyway) instead of going off to complete his mission that was put on hiatus for over ten thousand years. 

  • Jimkyle

    This is fucking stupid.

  • Anon

    Wait a second, why the hell would the Engineers bother bioengineering such a needlessly complex and horrific bioweapon to use on humanity during a time in human history where the apex of technology was beer?

  • Biologistwhopetspenissnakes

    If David can’t sleep, eat, procreate, breathe – thus he doesn’t have a respiration system – how is able to blow into a space flute?

  • Biologistwhopetspenissnakes

    Let’s say the bioweapon was designed through nano fab (See:  Engines of Creation).  Why make it biological when we dumb humans know how to do it non-biologically and thus safe?

    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/06/040609072100.htm

  • Biologistwhopetspenissnakes

    Agreed – there are a plethora of holes and convoluted story elements.

    1.  How do you translate an ambiguous cave drawing into an invitation?

    2.  Wouldn’t a mission costing trillions of dollars do both a psych and drug test on its candidates?

    3.  How does an android without a respiration system blow air through a magic space flute?

    4.  If your abdominal muscles are severed – how are you able to do a marathon?

    5.  Why would David put the black goo in Holloway’s drink?  I do suspect he was a secret asshole.  Wouldn’t scientists take “lab animals” along for the ride? 

    6.  Why were the Aliens running back into the black goo room?  Were they scared of Ridley Scott?

    Ridley Scott has come out and said that the reason the Space Jockeys wanted to kill us was because Jesus was a space alien diplomat – which opens more questions.

    So, when Judas was going to betray Jesus – why did he have to identify him with a kiss?  Couldn’t he have just said “He’s that big white dude.”

    Wouldn’t a big white dude stick out in the first century?

  • Biologistwhopetspenissnakes

     The black goo were midichlorians.

  • Ricky

    engineer cryosleep
    she replaced her oxygen source when the engineer blew the you-know-what in the you-know-where
    autopilot xD

  • Ricky

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmSYnOvEueo&feature=player_embeddedIt also needs air, but just to produce the sounds to interact as a human

  • Lordambroglio

    He has functioning cheeks, so he could create pressure with them.

  • Tenser Spacy

    Dear idiots,

    Stop trying to sound smart by claiming that David couldn’t blow air into a fucking flute.  Being able to speak words implies that he can blow air out of his robot throat, you stupid dipshit assholes.  You are not smart, you are retards dummies who can’t understand very simple things, and should stay out of conversations like these.

    Still, this movie is full of real, actual ass/plot holes, and therefore deserves a full Plinkett nuking.

    Thank you.

  • Biologistwhopetspenissnakes

    You’re incorrect.  Just because he was able to “speak” doesn’t mean he could “blow air.”  Have you ever used “text to speech?”  Do you have an audio card?

  • Plotholesareus

    You can mimic human speech without air.  You have a sound card?

  • Biologistwhopetspenissnakes
  • CommonSense

     You don’t need air for speech synthesis.  You may resume your ad-hom attack.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfxkhzGqZIs

  • justaguyDP

     Air is not required for speech / sound synthesis.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjBIsp8mS-c

  • Chu Gar Mantis

    Wow! Politics aside, even HotAir has linked to this……Growing in fame boy’s!…NICE!

  • Tenser Spacy

    Dear retarded ass hole,

    With that statement, you have turns Occam’s Razor into Hack Ham’s Chainsaw with your twisted, dipshit, brainless attempts at logic. It is difficult to describe how unbelievably stupid you are.  Where to begin?

    This answer probably won’t make it through the brick-like density of your skull, but your “reason” for why David blowing into a flute is a plot hole now relies on what non-dumb people call a “False Dilemma”. Maybe you can look that shit up, as soon as you get a break from your job at the toll both,   

    In short, please stop trying to think non-dummy thoughts, or trying to use highly sophisticated and arcane technical jargon like “text-to-speech” and “audio card” to make idiotic mistakes in logic.  You are far too stupid to understand how stupid this movie actually is.

    Regards.

  • Ricky

    If your droid was intended to be percieved as just another human, the expense of implementing an already existing technology (as seen taking its baby steps in the video I linked) may not be economic but it’s certainly better at that goal.

    Can your synthetic human mimic these sounds (http://youtu.be/c246fZ-7z1w?t=1m) while making those expresions? How would he calculate the resonance each part of its synthetic flesh and bone would make at its current state to output the appropiate sound, sounds he wasn’t programmed with but could learn?

  • Biologistwhopetspenissnakes

    Another ad-hom.  Again, sound/voice can be synthesized with software.  However, you must blow air through a flute for sound.  This is plain logic.  As the “gamers” say – “You mad, bro?  You sound mad.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfxkhzGqZIs

  • http://profiles.google.com/ruslan1011 Ruslan Abylkassov

    Do you know anything about how computers make sounds and form words

  • justaguyDP

    Yup, look up “Vocaloid.”  You’re throwing names around, but you’re the nescient one.http://www.vocaloid.com/en/

  • Guest007

     You’re calling people idiots, but you’re the idiot.

    http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=making-computers-talk

  • Pingback: Prometheus Review « Greggman.com()

  • blastor138

     What?  Sound is vibrating air molecules. No air. No sound.

    If you took your computer and speakers into the void of space where there is no air, it wouldn’t make a sound.  Yeesh….

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2RIB6OU6MDJUANZJX6CUCXHY7Y Dr. Killpatient

    Just because David lacks respiration system doesn’t mean that it can’t blow air into a flute.

    If Whealan’s point was to make David as lifelike as possible then adding a pair of bellows as lungs (for blowing air through it’s mouth) shouldn’t be that complicated to do.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2RIB6OU6MDJUANZJX6CUCXHY7Y Dr. Killpatient

    1. By having someone point at the destination on the drawing.
    2. The only people who believed that they were going to find anything were Whealan and Elizabeth (I emphasise believed). And what exactly would they use as a template for psych test? A 2 metre tall albino alien that nobody expects to find.
    3. Just because it lacks respiration system doesn’t mean he can’t blow air.
    4. I don’t think abdominal muscles are in stomach. Besides it’s not the first time where a main character does impossible things in the movie after being shot/injured/etc – Rambo, Die Hard…
    5. Because Whealan told him “Try harder”.
    6. They were afraid of getting infected.

  • Tenser Spacy

    Dearest shit-for-brains,

    Does that dollop of cow shit rolling around inside your skull hurt when you try to think?  Or is it numb from all the drinking.  Does anyone else smell gin?  Who’s been drinking?

    What was it about David’s physiology that reminded you of a Speak N’ Spell?  Was it his hard plastic shell?  Was it that Kenwood amplifier sticking out of his mouth?  Did the Replicants in Blade Runner plug themselves into walls with the power cables hanging out of their assholes?  Or were they physical?

    Did it say in the movie that David – for some incredibly stupid reason – was given every conceivable physical human trait except for a system of vocal chords, which his engineers instead decided to substitute with some sort of archaic, cockamamie “text-to-speech” Speak N’ Spell bullshit that only makes sense to internet retards with the word “penis” in their alias?  I don’t remember that scene.  How would you know that? Did you read the script?  Hey, is that the script over there?

    Is every improbably dumb, nonsensical engineering concept that isn’t specifically detailed in a movie — like how an ambulatory, self-aware humanoid robot appears to make completely natural, human sounds with his lips, tongue and mouth can blow through a flute — count as a plot hole?

    The answer to all of these questions is, of course, fuck you.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2RIB6OU6MDJUANZJX6CUCXHY7Y Dr. Killpatient

    Then why post it at all.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2RIB6OU6MDJUANZJX6CUCXHY7Y Dr. Killpatient

    No.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

     Making a robot with AI good enough that it passes for human is very hard.

    Compared to that, making it be able to chew and swallow food, and suck in air and blow it out, is trivial.

    With so much wrong in this movie, obsessing over something so trivially and reasonably assumed as this is silly.

  • Michael

    perfect

  • Guest

    right as you cliamed. actual it was a warning signal, spoken with ripley

  • Random Guy

    Hang in there, Jay!

  • blastor138

    You need air for sound, moron.  Sound can only exist in a medium such as air (what you and I are surrounded by all the time) or water.  Put that robot in space and there would be no sound.

  • Cohnwrithe

    Exactly.  We know David eats.  There’s a scene in which he’s doing so.  If they can add a digestive system, they can add some lungs.  The lungs would probably serve the same purpose as a fan in a computer, to keep the processors cool.
    In Aliens, I seem to remember Bishop crawling through a tiny pipe, and *breathing* quite heavily.

  • Cohnwrithe

    1. The fact that the drawings were presented to several peoples around the globe, all depicting a being pointing to the system, like “Here’s where we are.  Come find us.”  Let’s not forget that these drawings were done back when the engineers still liked us as a species.
    2. Weyland Corp is kinda famous for sending fuck ups into space to be expendable.  Remember the worst Lieutenant ever from Aliens?  Remember the Union workers from Alien?  Qualified people cost too much, and what difference does it make, if you’re going to be using them for fodder anyway.
    3. What part of the movie mentioned he didn’t have a respiratory system?  He has a digestive system, why not a set of lungs?
    4. Now you’re an expert in medicine a hundred years in the future?
    5. Weyland was dictating all of David’s actions.  That’s that “expendable” thing again.  I guess you missed where I wrote that, and all the times it occurred in the other films.  The movie actually mentions that David and Vickers are acting on Weyland’s orders.  Remember the “Try harder” conversation?
    6. Maybe they found out there was a leak and they were rushing to seal the containers.  It isn’t important.  The point of that scene was to show something went wrong, and all hell broke loose.

    If you atually pay attention to the movie, it really doesn’t leave you with too many questions.  No more than what we were left with after the original ‘Alien’.
    Mike & Jay said it themselves during the actual review; they couldn’t decide if the movie was dumb, or they were too dumb to understand it.  They wanted to wait until they saw the movie again before making a full decision. 

    The only beef I really had with the movie was the two guys getting lost.  They had a scan of the corridors.  Them playing with the Alien Cobra thing didn’t really bother me.  They initially left because they didn’t want to be their when David and Shaw opened the door where they found the 13ft tall Engineer Alien.  I can’t blame them.  I wouldn’t want to be there either.  What if there were several living aliens on the otherside?  Petting the “cobra” wasn’t really a logic issue, because they were wearing protective suits and the alien was small.  Most people would be afraid of a rattlesnake, but if you put that same person in a thick ass space suit, you’ll see that fear diminish.

  • Cohnwrithe
  • Barth

     Whoever hurt this guy, please apologize.  Sorry if it was me.

    BTW it should be Trenser Spacy or Tenser Spracy.  Idiot.

  • Barth

    Shut up Samberg

  • Goth

    What’s Prometheus?

  • me

    “The green stuff was Engineer blood. We see this stuff again when the alien head explodes” OBJECTION! If the green goo was engineer blood, why wasn’t there any near the severed head or near any of the HUGE PILE OF CORPSES??? 

  • Tenser Spacy

    In tenser space, no one can hear you be a dipshit named Barth.

  • Devil in the Details

    How about this question: Why doesn’t the alien space ship have any impact damage after the violent collision it just sustained from the Prometheus which was apparently strong enough to knock it out of the sky? If you look carefully at all the post impact scenes of the space craft as it rolls and when Shaw rappels out of it with David, the ship is perfectly intact. Not even a scratch. Sure, it could be amazingly sturdy, but not even a scratch? If it’s that strong the impact should have just pushed it to escape velocity a little faster.

  • Tenser Spacy

    No, no you’ve got it wrong, doc.  The geniuses above have it all figured out.  See, even though David was a lifelike, artificially intelligent android virtually indistinguishable from a person that likely cost a shitzillion dollars to design, it’s simply unfathomable that he would be able to blow air out of an empty space, like, say, a fucking bicycle pump can do.  But they don’t got stuff like bicycle pumps in the future. Too expensive.

    Instead, they probably installed a digital “text-to-speech” system like the one Professor Screaming Jay Hawkins has, so that when the little robot fingers inside David Robot brain type out his thoughts on the tiny laptop keyboard they jammed in there, it’ll turn them into WAV files or maybe MIDI files (it’s pronounced “meaty”). Then the tiny speakers in his teeth will turn them into noises, and his mouth, lips, tongue and throat muscle were programmed to perfect synchronize with the Screaming Jay Hawkins wheelchair programs so that it will look like he’s talking, just like those big furry robot puppets at the Chuck E. Cheese except more bettererrrrr.  

    That’s the most sensible way to do it.  That’s how Biologistwhopetspenissnakes build the robots out in his shed all the time.

  • Cohnwrithe

    Save your breath.  Ignorance and Logic are not good bed fellows.  
    You can spout science all day long, and these nut jobs will still cling to their baseless arguments.  They want to hate on something.  I say let them.  I mean, they can’t even admit that the Android has a digestive system, so why not a set of lungs.  David is a machine afterall, and machines need airflow to keep cool.  Wouldn’t artificial lungs serve this purpose?

  • Asstild

    is a porn movie about alien sperm… why people need more explanations?

  • Oh Dear

    Hi everyone.
    I wrote the following to a friend who wanted to know why I thought Prometheus was poorly directed. I thought I would share it here. I know it’s long, please don’t flame me!

    1) The plot is full of holes. Sorry to keep mentioning this, but it is. Why were the engineers running *into* the dangerous room? Why did they leave invitations on Earth to a planet that is just a weapons store? It doesn’t matter if there are other films following this one up – every film should make sense within itself. The Lord of the Rings films are all complete units, and the follow-up films were definitely in production when the first one was released. It’s not reasonable to excuse plot holes because the director “hopes” to make a follow-up film. I doubt he will, by the way.
    2) The screenplay generally is full of ideas that don’t really go anywhere (eg: the apparent plan to keep Elizabeth for further testing) and contrivances (eg: their spaceship enters the atmosphere just conveniently next to exactly where they want to be, or we suddenly find out that Elizabeth is barren and a load of back story is quickly lumped into the scene before they have sex on the Prometheus). It is the director’s job to make sure these things don’t make it to the shooting stage, or are sorted out in the edit.
    3) Characters actions are often unmotivated or unclear (eg: David infecting Charlie, the biologist being unafraid of the cock monster even though he was unwilling to go near the dead engineer). And don’t say that these things become clear upon further analysis – it’s the director’s job to make sure the characters and their delivery have motivations and actions that can be clearly understood by the audience WHILE THEY’RE WATCHING IT.
    4) To paraphrase Mark Kermode, there’s too much of people going on about the “big picture” (who are we and where do we come from) in contrast to Alien which was more about the “small picture”. Therefore the characters were unbelievable and the film felt tell-not-show. If you want a non-Alien example, look at a film like Cube, where big ideas are dealt with, but not by characters giving big clunky speeches. Actions are motivated by clearly defined characters and the world and the ideas are revealed through those actions and their consequences. Not by people standing up and giving speeches about what they believe and getting all teary-eyed and Roland Emmerich-y about it.
    5) There is too much that needs to be extrapolated or interpreted. All of the salient information should be on-screen. This is related to point 1.
    6) So many of the characters and their actions are cliche and clunky. The geologist and the biologist are good examples (uneasy relationship develops into friendship). Charlize Theron’s character too (total bitch representing corporate greed – compare her to, just for example, the Michael Bishop character (played by Lance Henriksen) at the end of Alien3 who, even in a tiny “cameo” part, is infinitely more complex and interesting but equally represents Wayland-Yutani and corporate “facelessness”.
    7) The references to the other Alien films really got in the way. For example, the flamethrower, the “hiding in a cupboard and crawling into a spacesuit” thing, the basketball, the android getting its head knocked off, the “we’ve got the destroy the ship” thing… I don’t mind a few carefully chosen references, but this was chock full of them and it felt like they were being used to give the film some kind of validity. By the end of it, I was actually expecting something to be sucked out of an airlock. Or for there to be a cat somewhere. I wish that Ridley Scott had actually done what people keep *saying* he has done, and made a film that was entirely separate from the Alien films except for the space jockey. Then he could’ve chucked out all the stuff he mishandled (like the next three points). Instead, he has made an Aliens Origin Movie, like all those endless comic book origins films that are around at the moment. Snore.
    8) While I accept that all Alien films are kind of survival-horror-scifi films, the way that people got picked off was dull and predictable. Again, compare Alien, where, OK, everyone gets picked off eventually except for Ripley (and Jones) and even if we knew who was going to buy it next we still cared about them and it felt genuinely shocking when it happened.
    9) I felt the tone was very uneven. At times it wanted to be an intelligent sci-fi and at others it resorted to really basic horror tropes. The scene where the geologist turns into an impossible-to-kill zombie was really a low point in the film. That’s when I felt I was watching a Paul WS Anderson film. And even though it was an appallingly stupid scene, it was over so quickly you felt they could have just done without it – another example of point 2. I also feel that this scene really broke the suspension of belief that the audience may (should) have had. In Alien, everything felt possible and real, even though it was fantastical. Then, in Prometheus, we’re suddenly (but only for about 2 minutes) expected to believe that a person infected by a parasite can suddenly leap enormous heights and survive repeated gunshot blasts. It is the cumulative effects of scenes like this that distance me from the film and make me feel it was poorly directed. Another example is where the geologist is smoking a bong that has been wired into his spacesuit. It reminded me of one of the Scary Movie sequels, where Ghostface smokes a joint and his scary mask starts to look happy. I felt this was the same kind of wink-wink-nudge-nudge, hey any frat-boys watching this, isn’t cannabis fun?! Tee hee!
    10) The self-surgery scene is overrated. Yeah, it was disgusting, but I just didn’t believe in it. I didn’t care about the character, I felt the lead-up to the scene was contrived, I couldn’t understand why she could operate the machine, why it couldn’t administer anaesthetic or why it could operate on a woman when it categorically said it wasn’t calibrated to do so (bearing in mind that the alien was in her uterus, as stated by David’s character). And I couldn’t understand why she was running away, but no one followed her into the operating room and no one was bothered when she reappeared and she was allowed to wander around the ship again. You would think that David would have a passing interest in what happened to the alien in her womb, but no! It’s time to wash Mr Wayland’s feet. (And why were we introduced to it in Charlize Theron’s room? If it was hers, why wasn’t it calibrated for women? If it was Mr Wayland’s, why wasn’t it in his room? Why is all the simple stuff so difficult to understand?!)
    11) The character of David is overrated. As is Michael Fassbender’s performance. True, it steals the show, but not in a good way. I think android characters are interesting, especially in the Alien movies, but I think everything that can be said has been said and there wasn’t enough room in this already-bloated film for all the ideas that were thrown into David’s character. Compare Alien 4s ‘Call’ android – OK, they do the “Oh my goodness, it’s an android!” thing *yet* again, but she does have an interesting character and a limited and well-explored android dilemma. David’s character/android dilemma re-hashes everything from all the former Alien films and the only new thing he brings is the fascination with Lawrence of Arabia, which to be honest I found rather irritating.
    12) I think Noomi Rapace was poorly cast. I think she was cast very much on the basis of audience knowledge of her in the Dragon Tattoo films. People have knowledge of her as a powerful woman, and they bring that expectation to Prometheus (and, as we all know, the Alien films are all about powerful women). In fact, a combination of the material (screenplay) and her performance lead to a forgettable character in a film of forgettable characters, where people continually cite a marginally interesting supporting role as being the best thing in the film (ie: David). I’m sorry, but a film is poorly directed if I don’t care about the main character, full stop.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/E32UQPWSWX35MFMSMCQSKZAUCU SeanM

     Fuck you.

  • Asshole

    What is the music in the background you fuck cunts?

  • Plot Holesome

    Ok…

    It. Is. A. Fucking. Sci-Fi. Movie.

    Thanks.

  • ZPowers

    Well, the biologist is one example. I don’t know why they’d bring a moron biologist along on a one trillion dollar, multi-year mission to a place mankind has literally never been. And I don’t know why he’d be terrified of a dead alien body but not scared of a snake vagina that is clearly acting aggressively. That first part is an example of the movie’s internal logic failing, the latter is character inconsistency. 

  • Legolas

     All those who criticize the movie for not making any sense are wrong. There are a lot of clues given throughout the flick. The main clue is in the beginning, where the scientists discover the alien star constellation. When you connect all the plot holes and random stuff thrown in for petty reasons, you will see the hand of a giant giving you his middle finger …

  • blastor138

    It. Is. But. These. Guys. Are. Known. For. Their. In. Depth. Reviews. Of. The. Star. Wars. Prequels. So. Stuff. Like. This. Is. Par. For. The. Course.

  • Willbond

    Why foe a Security Dude bring hisself a Paintball Gun to a “Giant Alien on a Dangerous Planet Interrogation”?

  • Peterpan

     great now everythings ad up!!!

  • Peterpan

    tl;dr

  • Marcus202

    1.  I’ll take a shot at #1 since this is an area of study I have spent much time on. The fact that multiple cultures around the world, depict the same star constellation, is something that is NOT uncommon. Ancient cultures had a religious curiosity (obsession) with the stars and this was shared with many ancient cultures around the world. A moron will try to attribute this shared fascination by different cultures, as some far out unnatural occurrence, and conclude that they must of all been visited by a foreign presence. This is a completely baseless conclusion, one not grounded in science. It was also at this point in the movie where I gave up on it being an actual “thinking” Sci Fi movie. 

    No actual real scientist would ever jump to this conclusion based on the discoveries they made. If they truly were archaeologists or anthropologists they would know that star constellations are quite common in ancient cave drawings, and murals; that the “giant figure” was only present in one depiction of this constellation, and most likely a symbolic reference to a man…not a giant or alien (ancient cultures like to depict members of their society who were smarter/powerful/leaders/etc as being bigger than everyone else); that ancient man was A LOT smarter than we give them credit for; that a star constellation =/= star map; that if aliens really took the time to teach humans about star constellations, farming, writing, building, etc (I guess we are giving these aliens all credit for everything we have learned) they would leave something behind more tangible than ambiguous cave drawings as invitations to go see them?

    Ancient Astronaut theory started out with very humbling questions, but never lead to any conclusions…but now it is a fully blown religious cult completely devoid of logic and science and I feel really bad for anyone who actually believes in this stuff, as you are no different that a devote christian/muslim/jew. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mads-Bolding-Fenger-Poulsen/1513209391 Mads Bolding Fenger Poulsen

    You should have seen Avengers – it’s simplistic, but extremely well handled and looks gorgeous on the big screen! If you can still catch it, then it is well worth the money.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mads-Bolding-Fenger-Poulsen/1513209391 Mads Bolding Fenger Poulsen

    I’d say that Scorsese still has much of his former direction-skills intact. Look at The Departed – a very well directed film in my honest opinion. But yeah… Ridley Scott has to redeem himself at this point, and it would be nice to see a great Spielberg-film again.

  • blastor138

    The geologist was smoking a cigarette in his spacesuit. He was seen smoking one in earlier parts of the movie on the ship.

  • Asinus

    I haven’t seen the Dragon Tattoo movies and didn’t bring any expectations about her as a “type” into the film with me. I thought she transitioned well enough. I mean, who thought Sigourney Weaver was a bad ass in 1978? In fact, not knowing who she was left me wondering exactly who was going to be the Neo Ripley– when Charlize came out with the flame thrower and laid down the law, I thought I had misjudged and that Noomi was not going to be the Ripley of this film. But other than that, I agree. :)

  • ILikeDumbMovies

    Nope. The last Scorsese movie that demonstrated any directing chops was
    Casino. Now he’s just a rich guy who spends more time thinking about
    being a rich guy than being creative. It happens

  • DB

    You do realize this is a comment section for a 4min “review” that only asks stoopid questions? Did you even watch the 4min review? Or you lost? Will you threaten me now? What will happen?
    To my fucking suprise, Neil deGrasse Tyson agrees with me. This will prob be the first and last time I have a moment of clarity like this and realize the only time I will think the same thoughts as Neil deGrasse Tyson was about the distance they travelled.
    Can you feel the distance LV426 ?(to whom I am replying to above)

  • TA4EVA

    Loving the music! What is it?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Owq1adHHXoQ DoctorSmashy

    I love that Mike spent the entire video using his Mr Plinkett voice. This is the definitive review of the movie.

  • TA4EVA

    I was really disappointed by this movie. But I -think- I can see why some people liked it and are willing to forgive its plotholes. Religious types pick up on the whole “space Jesus” theme (which is reinforced by the christmas-time/crucifix/speared abdomen imagery), get all religiously moved by that or something — and at this point, once they’ve worked themselves into some kind of churchy frenzy, of COURSE they’re gonna shrug off stuff like the biologist trying to kiss the space cobra, and no one chasing Elizabeth into the self-surgery room, and the crew inexplicably knowing exactly what part of the planet to touch down on, and the geologist and the biologist getting lost even though they have perfect 3d mapping technology. They’re willing to shrug off the inane zombie scene and the fact that it makes no sense that Weyland would have to keep his presence on the ship a secret. They can shrug off the dumb “bet” between the co-pilots and the fact that the Engineer the crew awakens doesn’t act in a remotely interesting or sophisticated way that would justify the thrust of the whole story. They can shrug off terrible lines like “it’s a quote from a movie I like” (note to all aspiring screenwriters: if you EVER put that in your movie, then you are a poseur). They can shrug off how diminished the original “space jockey” scene in the 1979 Alien becomes once you learn that the petrified elephantine skull is actually just a helmet. Oh…a helmet. And underneath it is the skull of a big bald white guy, I guess. Well, thanks for totally disintegrating the whole sense of otherworldliness about the original space jockey scene.

    Once these sorts of “faith-based” movie-goers latch on to a religous theme, they can use it to explain away almost ANY plothole. It becomes absolutely impossible to reason with such people. The same dynamic developed around “Lost.”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BOVPZ67X6XPEXL3RU6Z7GE4QEE Alex Brogan

    I enjoyed watching this far more than the full review. Watching the 24 minute review was reminiscent of watching “Prometheus”- painful.

  • Dyan

    That’s enough!

    The movie already came out, fucked as usual. Now, Ridley Smurf should launch a Bluray with tons of explanations, additional minutes, because it seems important explain scifi, fantasy, bullshit, nonsense those days.

    The army of stupid that launched the cry for a life as a Avatar of James Camell, because they felt “connected” with that creature and her blue tail sexy… made ​​room for even more stupid people, a mixture of “i wanna to be a ufologist” and retarded religious radicals, all fighting about the super spacial Jesus, the creating of life, gods… the most annoying people in movies, are the retarded ones!

    “o my god! this is not right, they use my holy Jesus as an alien in the plot?”
    “the creation of life is a god act! this movie is a Illuminati attack!”
    “the aliens probably use some fluid, but the movie cannot explain all genetical potential”

    a religious lunatic in one side, not to far, the conspiracy guy, who have a secret laboratory inside the closet.

    I consider buy a shotgun, for take care about those spiritual cientists in the audience..

  • Eric Smith

    Ha! I was all prepared to argue with you until the last line. Unfortunately I can find no flaws in your analysis.

  • JoeJoe

    You know nothing of Hollywood or its jobs. Alan Smithee exists because Hollywood can fuck up a film so bad that the directory refuses to put his name on it. Ridley discusses all these points in a documentary where he tells us he wasn’t even allowed to touch a camera because of Union rules.

  • JoeJoe

    The only thing that blows is your mouth, since it can’t be used to speak non-retarded thoughts. Taste the black sperm of my vengeance.

  • Danby

    Can’t really fault him for that i guess.

  • Danby

    They’re coarse and they get everywhere…

  • Danby

    So what happened to the aliens in the other 5 space dock facilities? Seriously, one jar did that much damage? From what they show in the film, only by ingesting it can it actually do anything to you.

  • FoShizzle

    I completely agree on all points except 12. I’d never seen Noomi Rapace before and even with all of the other problems going on I did actually care about the character.

  • Octocubist_Theologian

    I agree with everything except your last point about Noomi Rapace, also. I think she was an excellent choice to cast in the role but her character suffered under the shortcomings of the film itself. Your third point I think sums up my feelings about Prometheus: it’s one thing for plot elements to not make sense right off the bat (a valuable conceit for mysteries), but it’s quite another when character actions are contrived and arbitrarily motivated to advance those senseless plot elements.Improbable characters in a logically consistent story? Fine. Logically consistent characters in an improbable story? Also fine. I would have accepted one or the other, but not both.

  • du

    If you even look at the space ships they use in Prometheus and Alien, they are very similar.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BOVPZ67X6XPEXL3RU6Z7GE4QEE Alex Brogan

    Christians – of which I am one- do not all simply judge our movies- or books- or anything for that matter- merely by whether or not they confirm or conform to our notions of spirituality.

    This movie was awful on its own merits quite independent of any spiritual message it may have been trying to deliver.

    I can be interested and intrigued by films that are explicitly Anti-Christian- like Valhalla Rising.

    An awful film to a critical thinking atheist is also an awful film to a critical thinking Christian.

  • TA4EVA

    Hey, you misunderstand me. I have no problems with Christians. And there are plenty of self-declared atheists I know who I’d say take a “faith-based” approach to watching movies.

  • Tenser Space

    It’s so dense every single sentence has so much going on.

  • http://www.KillerGameRants.com/ Warren

    After thinking about this 

    ————
    Why doesn’t the android have directives or fail safes?
    It’s still a relatively early model. The David “8”. Even Ash in Alien still has issues. It’s not until Bishop’s model does it have any human protection directives in place.
    ————-

    I thought : Why not have sent ONLY 4 humans, a dog and 5 androids?  Smaller ship, less resources used, 5 bio usable specimens.

    All 5 androids would be weaponed trained, medical and fully operational and multi-counter parts.  And would have a server linked to talk to each other over a 5 mile distance.  FTL, does that mean we have harnessed the power of lightning?  Meaning, the androids would use the thunder and lightning to amplify their communication like a whale uses water?

    Also noted, some of the tunes sound lately lifted off Star Trek.

    Just my thoughts.

  • http://www.KillerGameRants.com/ Warren

    Prometheus [Pro Me The Us]

    I am questioning:

    Why does an android have curiosity?

    Why doesn’t the android have directives or fail safes?

    iPod Touches record most everything.  No recording allowed on expedition?

    How fast was the ship traveling, as it would take just less than 10 years to reach Jupiter at 100 mph?

    With the ending of this movie, how do we visit the ship in Alien?

    The Predators, Crites and Munchies are not from this star system?

    I expected so much more.  John Carter was long too, dry in spots, but better in the entertainment Prometheus 

    Good attempt Nathan, but still FTL time is 2 years?  Makes no sense as even the helmets were not sheilded or molded for ANY type of survival, EXCEPT breathing.  FTL would also mean BETTER shielding in suits and weapons.  And WHAT happened to protocol: opening ANY entry/exit is prohibited ad would be treated like treason.  Turn off big time.  Unnecessary damage.

    I mention the iPod Touch recording, based on today’s uses.  There is NO WAY a tech movie can ‘pull an element of surprise’ on ANYONE as of 2010.    Yes, 2007 – 2009, but now, no way.  You know GOOD AND WELL if ANY of us went to an unknown location, we’d be shooting videos and photos.

    And, not sure how you feel about snakes on earth, that guy seemed too scaredy from the getgo to do what he did when that thing appeared.  It was hilarious.  The audience giggled and a guy goes “What movie is this?” and somebody said “Werewolf.”. I giggled even more.  

    I’m NOT going to even get started with sandstorm survival.  Especially when the budget was $1Trillion.  Or even better, “Where do souls go when the body dies?”. Hello.  THAT would be my question to seek an answer to.

    Since other aliens are canonically non-existent, this also proves UFOs of spacemen from Mars are NOT probing humans randomly?

    Green goo with power cells when it is caressed, then the black DNA changing goo.  NONE of it makes sense when the ‘map’ is remembered.

    The hovering trackballs, you CAN’T tell me the millionaire Weyland did not make an armed-armored hover cam.  That is all I could think about AFTER seeing the tracker red balls.

    Pretty movie it was, but now that I have seen it, many reviews are invalid.  This movie does not question my religion.  Nor does it spark ANY questions about God.  Maybe to the non-believers and skeptics and possibly feeble-minded.

    I thought Alien: Resurrection was bad.  I just watched it before watching Prometheus, and I gotta say, it was way better.  Prometheus was NOT terrible.  But for the time I WILL NOT be getting back, I’ll settle on a hi-res image to stare at for a few moments.  It did feel like it was a waste of time personally.area than Prometheus.

  • Waffle

    souls? wtf dude! the movie is a mess, and you asking for more mess?
    when your body dies, all of you go to a big party inside your brain X)

  • http://www.KillerGameRants.com/ Warren

    Um…. Who are you? You expect me to listen to a product I eat for breakfast? GET back in the kitchen in your box and back in the freezer until I cook you.

    My question was regarding the movie. I just posed the question, answer it or not. It’s just a movie.

  • Guest

    Dudes, you made the Daily Dish. I am so fucking proud of you guys.

  • Guest

    Which is now called just the Dish of course. I’m old.

  • TA4EVA

    The Dish! Oh man. So now RLM is Establishment. They’ll start being inundated with studio gifts. Good luck staying objective, guys!

  • Josh

    Aliens and Predators are terrible mistakes using different franchises .. trying to create a new breath to both.

    Prometheus has a good read here: http://cavalorn.livejournal.com/584135.html

    is not an attempt to improve or save the movie, but the guy explains in detail the elements as much as possible.

  • Plonkette
  • Guest

    I had the same conclusion; the movie would make a great coffee table book.

  • kloki

    Prometheus should be reviewed like Star Wars

  • http://www.KillerGameRants.com/ Warren

    Wow! No disrespect to Mr. Scott, but EXACTLY what I was thinking. I’d but the BluRay if it had an interactive section to just roam the landscape in hi-res. possibly find a few pieces of data.

    Since it is BluRay… Give me some of that sludge to mess around with.

  • lilyboosh

    That would involve making an actual Plinkett review..

  • asswipe

    You mofos need to review the new spiderman movie and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter next – they both suck ass.
    Prometheus was cool…I wish whiny bitches would take a chill pill and go watch the 2nd Star Wars prequel if they forget what a really shitty movie is. Get real dudes!

  • http://twitter.com/TTHOOM Tim Terrell

    “Why would the Engineers want to destroy us when they created us? Were we a mistake? Why were we a mistake?”

    Well Red Letter Media, watch yourselves on video, and the answers to the last two questions will come right to you.

  • Vismutti

    It’d be awesome but on the other hand it’d be better to wait until they’re done, since there’s a sequel coming up.

  • Danby

    Nah they’d probably just give it a pass like the indiana jones review.

  • guest

    But…they didn’t give Indiana Jones a pass.

  • MufasaSink

    Well here’s what I think…..
    It was an average film. Nothing remarkable, but worth paying the price I paid for it.
    Which was free.

    I love the internet.

  • Zach

    My only fault with this whole video is that Dinosaurs roamed the earth for 135 million years, they have been extinct for about 65 million.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=714604785 Hugh Buttsworth

    I agree with all but your David8 analysis. I liked his motivations and actions. He’s an iPerson who has developed a hunger for learning and experience, in the absence of morality or feeling, and I believed the performance. Ultimately, the script was broken and convoluted. The human characters were never believable. They did things that were unmotivated, purely to set-up another dramatic scene, and we saw through such cheap clunkiness as we watched. Drama would have been better set-up with a rival company (Yutani?) sabotaging or competing for the mission objectives. I didn’t mind if the Engineers had germinated us for later farming, that was a nice twist. The biggest disappointment was knowing the potential of this film, while watching it fall so short.

  • pavel michalek

    there´s one question missing on jay: what´s wrong with your faaace?!!!

  • Cosmic Ugh..

    red letter are slipping – they haven’t even brushed the surface: why did Elizabeth Shaw, an archaeologist, know how to operate a medical machine of which only 12 had been made and were obviously only owned by very rich people? How did she know what those injections were she gave herself? why was this machine in vicker’s room when it is only programmed for a male body? if it was for her father, why not put it in his room, so he could get to it quickly? Why make such an extravagent machine and only program it to deal with guys? after cutting through skin, muscle and uterous, and only stapling her skin back together (leaving her to bleed internally) was Shaw able to get up and move and leap about – (it takes 2 weeks after a C section and that’s if you’ve actually sewn up the muscle)? What was her squid like premature baby feeding off to grow so massive? how could it gestate that quickly anyway, cells have limitations.
    And what about those flying balls that mapped out the cave – if they had the technology to make them fly, then why were they ponsing about on quad bikes instead of some kind of anti-grav scooters?
    if they had sand storms like that on a regular occurrance (which would have cut them to shreds if not pummelled them to death instantly) then surely after a couple of thousand years, that mountain they walked into would have been erroded away and the enterance would have been blocked up.
    if the atmosphere was fine except for too much CO2, why couldn’t they just filter it out instead of relying on a depleting oxygen cannister (which, after practically running out, seemed to miraculously become full again).
    Why, on the alien space ship, was there so much unneccessary stuff adding loads of weight which would make it a lot more difficult to get into space? Why did the alien have to immediately start killing everyone – didn’t he want a coffee first? maybe ask what the hell they’re doing there?
    Why was the robot still working after having it’s head ripped off? – surely it would be dangerous to have a damaged robot still active. And it would have been a lot more hastle to design it so it could keep going after decapitation so what would the possible advantage be – in the first alien film, after the android loses his head (which is repetitiously dull), he needed to be patched up before he’d work again – I wish my pc could keep going after I lobotomise it with a pickaxe.
    and why the hell was that alien killing himself in the very first scene when they could’ve just dumped a load of stuff into the sea from a barrel out the lab?
    And how did the Captain seem to suddenly know exactly what the aliens were up to on that planet? did they tell him?
    And why did they put in the scene where the robot was watching her dreams, or the scene about her not being about to have children – they were utterly pointless.
    And why would Vickers not have met all the people on the mission?
    And why were any of them, including the crew, possibly allowed to be on an interstellar ship with personalities dredged up from idiot teenagers?
    And why would you decide, after seeing something wriggling about in your eyeball, that it’s probably best to keep quiet about it and not run screaming to sick bay to have it looked at?

    But the visuals were quite nice – though could’ve had more alien action.

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  • http://twitter.com/benheck Ben Heckendorn

    I’m hoping for Matrix Reloaded. I hadn’t been so bored or unengaged with a movie since… Phantom Menace.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ariel.wollinger Ariel Sergio Wollinger Martins

    AHAHAHAHHAHHA!

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  • george

    A number of people raise valid points of why did certain characters do this, rather than that, aka, not behaving as we would expect astro/cosmonoughts, who knows, the human condition (and wouldn’t they have had some more advanced weaponry than a flame thrower, e.g. plasma thrower). Overall the story makes sense. The engineers created humankind, then at some point decided to conclude them with the first Alien ship. This was stopped when their weapon of mass destruction turned on them, as in this movie. What I’m wondering about, If I remember correctly at the start of the movie they were traveling, 3.74 x 10 to the 17th power kilometers (quick calculation so please correct) which is about 374 quintillion kilometers or about 5,000 light years. With Ion power does that create a bubble to utilize the 5th dimension? lol.

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  • porge

    After I watched it and thinking about it, I thought “Nothing makes sense and it ruined the backstory for a great series. This is just like the Star Wars prequels. Plinkett would have no problem reviewing this”

  • Vranak

    Do you really think Ridley Scott cares what any critic has to say? His only concern is getting his next project greenlit. And he’s Ridley Scott so that’s a given.

    The bottom line is that none of us needs to understand Prometheus, we can all fumble blindly around looking for plot holes, but I think everything will fit together nicely by the end of the cycle. And If you folks had any serious interest in answering your questions then you could do a cursory Google search. “Prometheus interpretation’ is a good start. There are some very smart people out there who know a lot about the Alien franchise than can offer some tantalizing new information.

  • Cheese Muffin

    Fuck you Marcus for being too dense to know a good movie when you see it, and to lash out at the director due to your lack of intellect.

  • sloppyjoe

    yes. very yes.

  • Black Forest

    Please do a Plinkett review of Prometheus, I haven’t been this disappointed in a film since Star Wars Episode I.

  • kill’em’all

    How about this. The Engineers are just a race of destroyers. Hostile aliens that feel they should be the only kid on the block.
    Why do they need so many ships with so many canisters of goo? It’s apparent one can would probably take out a whole planet.David sees all the planets in that giant intergalactic hologram…we assume they were seeded…may be they were all destroyed targets.The alien we see in the beginning is one of their first field tests…all his DNA is destroyed at first, but then some strands get away and, voila! Humans come to be…a giant accident.

  • Babaganoush

    I blame DVDs. You’re now expected that, if you want to get the “complete” story, you have to get the DVD with the “directors cut” and “extras” that will fill in all the plot holes. And you’ll have to BUY it because the rentals don’t have them sometimes. I want the whole story when I’m paying my $11 dollars and sitting in the theater, not have to wait months later until the Blu-Ray comes out and then go, “Oh, so that’s what it all meant!

  • geoffry

    qft

  • Cameron

    zzzzzz…

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  • Joshuasanchez189

    “what if the mission involved a gangbang………….. mehhhhhhhhh..” fuck’n slap ur ass funny shit man. I watched it hella times. made my day lol lol

  • Joshuasanchez189

    ps the movie was cool tho

  • 8Gs

    From about the 5 minute point I had Plinkett’s voice in my head during this movie. It’s begging for his treatment. That said, I freely admit that what I am about to say is a complete troll, but just imagine Plinkett’s voice droning out:

    PROMTHIUS WAS THE MOST RACESIST MOVIE EVER MADE.
    Of course the rich people are white. They have a token black Captain, but he listens to white music and plays an accordion. While he ostensibly had sex with Charlize Theron, it doesn’t actually show her and the black guy ever touch. Who knows; she may have stood him up. Moreover, she simply uses him for sex and does not accord him with any station commensurate with a sexual relationship. The Captain is really more of a pilot, since he does not have absolute authority over his ship, the way a Captain should. He’s a glorified elevator operator.
    The other minorities are a guy who is east asian and a guy who looks Italian or hispanic. The asian guy speaks with an English accent. And who decides that they are going to stick around and sacrifice themselves so the white people could live? The minorities.
    And then let’s discuss this Engineer thing. Could they possibly be any whiter? They were almost clear. So the origin of man is a group of tall, white, muscular males. The original and theoretically perfect human makes Casper look like Wesley Snipes.
    I’m the last person in the world to believe any of this, but now that I’ve said it watch someone take it seriously.

  • Bananna Hammock

    Gangs of New York? Sure it isn’t a crowing achievement, but still a solid film. Of course you could argue that DDL as Bill the Butcher made the movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/RichardECowgill Richard Cowgill

    you must’ve never seen ‘legend’ or ‘1492: conquest of paradise’ to see how badly ridley scott can fuck up a picture.

  • AVARIANO

    Some thoughts/my answers about your Prometheus’ questions. I didn’t think it was so full of holes.
    In the film, David is mentioned as being programmed by Weiland; many of his actions are those of a typical souless automaton… He carries out Weiland’s orders w/out question. Seems to me the film also infers that David has a strange love/hate relationship with Weiland & wants Weiland dead – maybe on Vickers orders (typical corp ruthlessness).
    I think that What’s-His-Name wasn’t a biologist but a geologist…
    About knowing beforehand about the sex, I tend to believe David/Weiland (see above) wasn’t sure that Shaw would fornicate with Holloway but they were monitoring him, “doing research” so to speak & that was an unexpected turn or events. But, hey, they (Weiland & Co.) would probably know they were, as couple, sexually active. I can see such an obsessed fuck as Weiland investigating throughly his crew before he employed them. Surely a mission this big only could fit people he knew intimately (they not knowing). “Alien “(with Ash) & “Aliens” (with “the suit”) shows this typical corp mentality prevalent in the series more obviously.
    I don’t think the Engineer created *all* life on Earth.
    The starmap to the weapons facility most probably was a set-up for any species, a trap of sorts – what better way to neutralise/eliminate targets than leading them to a heavily armed military compound. Orrrr, probably the cave paintings, etc., were ancient versions of something left of the Engineers experienced by humans, or embedded in their DNA?
    Those dumb broads were running in a line because they were dumb broads…
    The questions about the (suppossed nonsense of) Engineers wanting to kill us, their creations, seems like asking Dr Frankenstein why would he want to kill the Creature. & that’s exactly the kind of answer that Shaw went out looking for…
    If rumours are correct that there are going to be several of these made, hopefully some of these questions will be answered. & Riddley Scott ain’t George Lucas – I still have faith he is a sapient being.
    W/those I bid you adieu adieu adieu
    Be seeing ya!
    AVARIANO

  • Big Joe

    You mentioned that the octopus is the first face hugger and the creature at the end is the first xenomorph. This can’t possibly be due to the large mural on the wall depicting the xenomorph. With such accuracy and detail there is now way the prometheus creature is the first iteration. This carving was done long before this time period of the movie. So the Crash on LV-426 could have been thousands of years old as well.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nagneto-Lives/100002330956610 Nagneto Lives

    So basically, GO SEE ALIEN.

  • Edd

    This movie was so bad and so completely destroys the Aliens mythology that it needs a full fledged Plinkett review.
    Shit, this movie even ruins the Aliens Vs Predators films. Star Wars episode 1 didn’t do a fifth as much damage to its mythos as this did.

    Also:
    Yea, that scene where the two run away from the falling ship…. if an usher had been in the room he probably would have booted me for laughing so loudly.

    Fucking Looney Toons has more dignity. The whole time I was just thinking that if they were to side step they would be fine. BUT NO, all you have to do is slightly roll to the side and you will be more than fine.

    And how is the White Man a human? He is like 8 feet tall and can breath the air on the planet (otherwise how did he get from the crashed ship to the survival pod with main character lady)

    One legitimate question is who turned into the rage zombie? Was it the boyfriend who got BBQ-ed, the guy with the worm down his throat, or the guy who watched the other guy get a worm down his throat. I cannot get a straight answer to this.

  • Welll….

    For those who still don’t understand it… remember the android pointing out the “thesis” of the scientist woman ?! Well This is classic R.Scott here, he leaves things open for interpretation, and with Prometheus he took this to another level. the movie is full of it, and the more you think about it, the more you see these are no plot holes or non-making-sense scenes. He did the same with Blade Runner at the end, he leaves things open for interpretation, not by accident but by choice, you guys should know better that Scott’s choices are well picked, he is not some confused Nolan.

  • C Ohara

    Hahaha. I love it.

  • prometheus

    actualy one of the best movies made in the last 5 years …
    .
    no stupid CG … no stupid military shit … no patriotism, so its finaly
    something non americans are also able to enjoy
    .
    keeps it interesting till the end … makes a lot of sense when conected
    to the original alien movie
    .
    let me recap the movie for you:
    .
    in the beginning it is Prometheus, member of the alien species, how creates mankind on earth by destryoing himself , releasing the DNA that will lead to the evolution of man …
    .
    in the end Ripley .. I mean the new female protagonist becomes Prometheus, by seeking to steal the knowledge of the gods, the creators, by attempting to reach there homeworld …
    .
    end of story … so whats your problem guys ?
    .
    (yes, the Android also is a metapha for Prometheus, who has the godly knowledge and is therefore damned to create the matterbased human being -> greek.mythology)

    the question that will lead through the upcoming movies is why did the creators tryed to extict mankind through the creation of the Mutagen that leads to the creation of the Alien as we know it from the original movies …
    .
    I guess you all are just to young or left all your imagination through the endless consume of the shit Hollywood is feeding you every single day …
    .
    the movie is also very cerebral and as said classes above stuff like, batman, transformers or all that crap …
    .
    I really like to see you guys reviewing THE FOUNTAIN ^^
    I guess you will want to hang yourself after watching it, if your head didnt explode trying to figure out how this is all conects and how its realy ment …

  • http://www.facebook.com/hitomo.hitm Hitomo Hitm

    actualy one of the best movies made in the last 5 years … . keeps it interesting till the end … makes a lot of sense when conected to the original alien movie . let me recap the movie for you: . in the beginning it is Prometheus, member of the alien species, how creates mankind on earth by destryoing himself , releasing the DNA that will lead to the evolution of man … . in the end Ripley .. I mean the new female protagonist becomes Prometheus, by seeking to steal the knowledge of the gods, the creators, by attempting to reach there homeworld … . end of story … so whats your problem guys ? . (yes, the Android also is a metapha for Prometheus, who has the godly knowledge and is therefore damned to create the matterbased human being -> greek.mythology) the question that will lead through the upcoming movies is why did the creators tryed to extict mankind through the creation of the Mutagen that leads to the creation of the Alien as we know it from the original movies … the movie is also very cerebral and as said classes above stuff like, batman, transformers or all that crap … . I really like to see you guys reviewing THE FOUNTAIN ^^ I guess you will want to hang yourself after watching it, if your head didnt explode trying to figure out how this is all conects and how its realy ment …

  • http://twitter.com/Stefanington Stefan Podolczuk

    When I see a movie I want to be entertained and told a story, not make a lifetime commitment to it’s baggage. Over-milked franchise, nothing original there, let it go. Hollywood clearly doesn’t care as much about the Aliens as much as you do.

  • http://twitter.com/AnonKopimi Anon Kopimi

    Prometheus is a tale told by a senile genius, written by an idiot, full of sound and the fury of every audience who ever sees it, signifying NOTHING.

    It was a rough beast of a concept, slouching off toward Hollywood to be stillborn.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jamesdelicious James Brokowski

    even that’s a little far fetched, what with the “main clue” itself being a plot hole. and then you have to ask the questions like “who’s middle finger is it?” “where did it come from?” “why is it flipping us off?” “why is there a giant here anyway?”

  • Barry MaCaukiner

    Where did you see it on the web? Please send that link!!

  • Jack_Faust

    I love this response. “Those of you who didn’t like this movie must not have enjoyed it because you’re all stupid.”

    It’s good to know that Ridley Scott defenders have now reached David Lynch levels of condescending douchebaggery now.

  • on76

    Get Plinkett on this one ASAP. I need a full breakdown of what the fuck’s going on with the whole Alien thing.

  • Mark

    One thought that wasn’t mentioned (at least in the first few pages of discussion) is why the Engineers went back to Earth every few thousands of years and taught the locals how to draw perfect star-charts. I mean, look how photo-realistic the rest of the artwork is (NOT), but they got those stars so perfectly right that the group of them were found among the billions of stars in the galaxy.

  • Robby

    This made me laugh so fucking hard.

  • plonkette

    But that would have been clever and interesting. imagine a Weylen being the hero of an aliens movie. nahhh lets just throw in random crap instead

  • http://www.facebook.com/scribbles41 Timothy ‘Scribbles’ Strait

    What about her internal organs? I’m sure her uterus didn’t just magically seal itself shut.

  • http://www.facebook.com/scribbles41 Timothy ‘Scribbles’ Strait

    You know what? I agree with you. David can somehow blow air. It’s not a question of how since that’s not important. But you just can’t seem to talk without coming across as as complete jerk. Calm down. Even if other people are wrong you should at least not be a dick about it.

  • GranAm

    I agree with this RLM review. Some of their questions I can think of some decent answers, but there are a lot of legitimate questions asked.

    What happened to the other Engineer ships on LV-223? David’s head mentions that there are other ships to Shaw, at the end of the film. So there was an accident on this one ship, and the crews of the other ships just ignored not only the accident but also the mission that was supposed to be carried out (the killing of life on Earth)? Even if it was a planet wide (more like moon wide, but whatever) event and all the other Engineers on LV-223 were incapacitated, why didn’t the Engineers send anyone to check out what happened? For 2,000 years they haven’t heard from the installation on LV-223 but they don’t send anyone to investigate? Was the mission to kill life on Earth just scrapped?

    Why was killing us so important that they would send a ship across the galaxy to wipe us out? This advanced alien race could build huge spaceships and complexes, travel to different planets and solar systems, genetically engineer humanity, and create sophisticated biological weapons but they didn’t have the technology to program a ship to fly to Earth with the black goo on it?

    Not only did the two scared scientists get lost, but they ended up in the room where the dead alien (that freaked them out earlier) was in front of. So of all the places they would possibly go in that massive complex they go into the room where they refused to enter 10 minutes earlier?

    What were they hoping to learn from an alien head that was 2,000 years old that involved electrofying it?

    Why was the Engineer that was awoken out of cryo-sleep hostile to the humans and David? He had absolutely no idea where he was, nor what had happened, nor even what year it was. His first reaction is to attack humans? Even if he was put to sleep while the mission was to kill humans, why wouldn’t he be at least a little interested in figuring out why these humans, who for all he knew should have been herding goats and living in mud huts on planet Earth, were on his ship in spacesuits and holding guns? Why didn’t he bother finding where the rest of his crew was? He didn’t even bother looking at the ship’s log or the hologram recordings.

  • dan

    who’s the hottie?

  • http://www.facebook.com/scribbles41 Timothy ‘Scribbles’ Strait

    True. I am a Christian as well, and I found the religious talk in Prometheus more insulting than inspiring. Mostly because it was used very vaguely and as if religion is just one thing. And the fact that Scott pretty much hinted that Jesus was an Engineer and they’re mad at us for crucifying him is just Picard facepalm worthy.

    Prometheus had a lot of narrative failings, unlikable characters, ridiculously contrived events (mostly deaths) that make me regret ever seeing it.

  • Jason Litzau

    ‘Secret Asshole’ is my new favorite term.

  • nwrob

    This is a great thread and a great review :^) I want to like this movie but it’s giving me fits. I have a few more questions – my apologies if they’ve been asked already:

    If the opening scene is supposed to be Precambrian Earth, where is the Engineers environment suit?

    Why include a suicide in the planet seeding operation? (surely that could be avoided?) Perhaps the robe is a hint of a religious aspect to it?

    Why did David say to Vickers “…15 days, 36 hours…” instead of “…16 days, 12 hours…”?

    Where did the grubs come from? How did they survive in total darkness with no apparent food source? Why did the crew not detect them during their scans? Wouldn’t the evidence of a continuous population of grubs lasting god knows how long in one place be easy to detect?

    Why did Shaw assume the Engineers were built with DNA? Hope,sure, but assume?

    Why did Lindelof decide to make all the scientists so incredibly stupid?

    What was the point of the exploding head scene?

    Was it a coincidence that the “non-traditional” fetus looked like a giant sperm cell with some extra tails?

    The fetus’ structure drastically changed after it emerged – why the complex post-birth embryology?

    Where did the fetus get the energy to grow once out of Shaw? Did it raid Vickers liquor
    cabinet? And didn’t Vickers spend any time in her quarters (where the fetus was growing all this time) at all?

    Would Holloway have become a zombie like Fifield if Vickers hadn’t flamed him? Why didn’t they turn into supermen the way the grubs turned into supergrubs when exposed in the same way?

    How does the black goo know what to do once it invades an organism? (hybridization or random DNA recombination is no answer, of course.) The goo must be intelligent? Collectively intelligent?

    Why did David say “Organic.” when he fingered the black goo? Does he have sensory equipment that works through his spacesuit, or was he just guessing? Given what we know, couldn’t they be nanites? (since the opening scene implies that the Engineers’ technology works at sub-molecular scales?)

    What was making the murals move? Was there goo on the ceiling?

    This movie isn’t just an anti-science, pro-faith, half-baked evolution critique, is it?

  • http://twitter.com/zaglossus zaglossus

    All to be hashed out in sequels?

  • kenchun24

    Yo RLM – you guys have any interest in reviewing the Prometheus DVD whizz bang Directors Cut version? Their whole “Questions will be answered” campaign made me chuckle at the thought of maybe you two (or Mr. Plinkett) doing a review of the Promtentiousness Directors Cut “Answered Question” version.

  • Mouse

    I love how people say this movie is shit and ruins the alien mythology when it’s obviously a work in progress where bigger things are yet to be unfold. It’s like watching a few episodes of LOST and raging about how nothing makes sense, without ever getting to the end. Really smart to judge something as a finished and closed arc when it screams and tells you that it’s not. I can’t think of more ways this movie could say “hey, all the answers aren’t here, there’s more to come”, and yet internet morons insist on talking as if the gaps are plotholes…..

    When the arc is finished, then you’ll be able to base your arguments on gaps and lack of answers. Until then, this should be evaluated on other aspects that do not depend of subconsequent writing, and this movie is pretty damn good at most of it.

    When RLM said they shouldn’t dismiss it so soon, that, right there is the correct behavior when faced with cliffhangers, give it a time, it’s not done. Not getting mad like a child.

    As for the questions on the video:

    “What is the black goo?”

    The black goo is literally alien DNA, sort of a “primordial soup” on steroids. It reacts to the atmosphere to create or change life. It probably was supposed to be used as a weapon all along. When the goo is released it kind of starts a mini evolutionary race where the creatures created by it keeps trying several combinations towards getting better results. The goo is filled with life on the macro and microscopic level, the little worms seen around the jars and on Holloway’s eye are examples of the alien DNA.

    “Why the biologist cares not for a dead alien”

    The biologist was actually a botanist, not a paleontologist, that’s why he had little interest on a humanoid dead thing, but a lot of interest on a living wild species.

    There was another doctor who was in charge of that, doctor Ford, and she is seen engaged in all the dissection and analyzing sections of the dead alien.

    “Why David infected the guy?”

    David’s motives I think are the hardest to be explained because we cannot and are not supposed to relate to him in his nature. Why infecting Holloway could be either

    a) Weyland tells him to try harder, after not having any results. He understands that the good reacts with biological organisms and must learn what it does to humans, when Holloway says that he’d do anything to get answers David decides to use him.

    b) David is obviously the more “humane” character when it comes to the curiosity. He feels enormous joy when finding new things, while the humans are not that impressed, possibly for being alive for so long and having evolved to such high technological steps, while David is still some sort of child. He merely wants to find out what that thing does.

    “If the black goo alters DNAs, why the little fish came out of Holloway’s eye?”

    The black goo creates new cells, new cellular structures and eventually new lifeforms. When introduced raw into something complex like the human body it seems to create internal small lifeforms using the body like an ecosystem, that’s what the worm was. This seems to happen with Engineers alike, as the head when stimulated resumed to grow some sort of fungus in the short term. This could also lead to the decay of the body, as suggests the head exploding and the sacrifice Engineer from the start that swallows large amount of it. Then, from the decay, the cycle restarts and new lifeforms are made, if the ambient is proper to that.

    “Did David knew they’d get jiggy with it?”

    Considering he was drunk, they were a couple that were sleeping for two years, they just made the discovery of their lives, they’ll probably be rich as fuck, then yes, I’d say he knew they’d have sex, though I don’t think he had that in mind, or maybe he did, knowing the principles of evolution. That was the only case until then where the alien DNA was introduced not in raw form to a body, but rather through genetic passing. He obviously saw that the result was extremely more stable than the raw goo that would destroy cells and tissues, this actually could create elaborated new species with stable genetic structures.

    “If we share the same DNA why the other animals don’t”

    The Engineers only created us, not all life on earth. This is why we had such a huge evolutionary step ahead every other thing on the planet. Though it’s not clear if they made us from zero or simply messing with the genes of species that were already there (in this case monkeys).

    “Why the last Engineer chased Shaw and Charlize instead of just flying his ship away”

    I… I don’t get this one. The last Engineer only chases Shaw and that is after his ship exploded, he has nowhere to go. One could argue that he could just start a long walk to another dome to get another ship, though I don’t think the other ships would even have the goo cargo since it would make no sense, this was the one originally meant for earth not the others, they had different agendas, plus he couldn’t operate the human’s car to go there because he’s too big and the installations are way far apart.

    I think it’s obvious these Engineers saw humans as a big threat and he was not taking kindly on them being able to get technology to get all the way there. Eliminating them was the priority, if not the only option he had left.

    “How they got lost if they had a map?”

    They only looked at the map after getting lost, that’s when it’s too late to go anywhere because of the storm, they even manage to go back to the decapitated’s room.

    I just call this horror genre motives, things like that just happens, like a lot of other silly stuff in the movie.

    “Why did they agreed on a mission they had no idea about?”

    One could say that while this may be a huge unimaginable event for us, the people in the movie are from a fictional culture from the future where the giant corporations are in the space all the time, trying to get ahead of each other (things like that always happened in our own culture before and still does, specially between military and corporative ends), so this isn’t a new thing. Captain, Chase and some other people in the crew obviously done stuff like that several times before. Vickers was well familiarized with the stasis-sleep, not only being able to put herself together without help, but also knew procedures to get the body back on working.

    “Why did Weyland pretend he was dead?”

    Corporative thinking. If he said he was too old and wanted to be put on stasis so he wouldn’t die and then went to search the answers of everything and perhaps achieve immortality, then he’d surely attract attention and no positive result could come from this.

    All the rest from here is mostly stuff that is supposed to be revealed in the continuation, like the reason for pointing the location of a weapon factory planet. It could be a warning and not an invitation, similar to what happens in Alien.

    And the reason for wanting to kill us. That’s beyond speculation, need to wait and see.

    Prometheus is a movie about evolution and origins. It only adds to the Alien lore, it doesn’t destroy anything. How can expanding on a fictional universe with such high potential would be bad? I think it’s a great movie, all of the negative pointed out are always from the unexplained stuff. If they don’t explain these things better on the closing chapter, then fine, I’d agree with every one of you, but until then shut the fuck up and wait a little bit before storming out the internet on your stupid rants about how everything sucks, nothing makes sense and Alien is destroyed.

  • H.Ortiz

    wrong!

  • Caibre

    I’m not going to forgive a shitty movie for being shitty because the sequel might be good.

  • Marshal Valor

    If the Engineers were supposed to be this advanced society, why do they still have a nudity taboo?

  • Maraselah

    No it was written by the guy who wrote lost and it’s clear that he just makes stuff up as he goes and there is usually no resolution.

  • http://www.facebook.com/geahk Geahk Burchill

    You are an idiot.

  • Swearingen

    The fact that you need to write an essay to justify the movie just gives credibility to the opinion of the majority ;this movie sucks ass.
    Pretty ,but essentially pretentious schlock.

  • Swearingen

    Using some kind of body wear is not just about sexuality.

    When humans first started with wearing some kind of clothing did so to shield themselves from the elements.Especially when they migrated from Africa to colder climates.Then the ice age hit.

    Over time taking ones clothes off became associated with sexual activity in some societies and when those societies have a well structured hierarchy controlling sexuality becomes just a part of holding power over subordinates.
    Here comes the taboo part.

    In other words.Religion ruined the fun.

    Besides where did they explicitly show they have such taboo?

  • Brack to the Future

    Who says they were advanced? What were those things they squished on the control panel? Anybody who uses a boiled egg for a button is a little “behind the curve” if you ask me.

  • Brack to the Future

    Listen Al, you gotta give the kid some fuckin credit seeins how he took the time to scribe a fuckin anthology to answer the questions put forth by Misters Baumann and Stoklasa. I’m sure he’ll be down at the Gem for the rest of the week, regaling all-comers with this miserable piece of woe until some sorry cocksucker feeds him to Wu’s pigs.(Or maybe I should have written it in E.B.’s voice.)

    When I see a complaint video like this asking dozens of questions about a movie, it’s clear the reviewers were disengaged from said movie. In the old-timey days, we had a thing called “suspension of disbelief,” which enabled people to see past the ridiculous silliness on Doctor Who even though the prop-hand is visible in the scene. This happened because people cared about Doctor Who. Similarly, people who don’t care about Prometheus will be unwilling to go along with it.

  • Brack to the Future

    These scientists are mercenaries. Bottom of the barrel types. As a scientist I can definitely say that science built on self-interest is not science. Any mercenaries I’ve met are indeed unbelievably stupid.

    Think of the importance the death of an Engineer places on a planet. They find a candidate system, then invest a life into the possibility of 1. nothing at all, 2. something magical, or in humanity’s case, 3. something truly dreadful. It’s an investment of one of their own, a sacrifice: like language, like cavemen knowing where “they’re from,” you see “sacrifice” carries down through time in all human religiosity. Perhaps sacrifice is also in human DNA, just like tail-wagging is imbued upon your canine captives. Maybe this is why humans are doomed to fail, because they were made by a suicide. There’s a lot of theology in this movie; someone as thoughtful as you should not miss it.

  • Brack to the Future

    1. There was an infection, or loss of containment. The Space Jockey crashed on LV 426 because of it. The bio weapon moon was abandoned by the Engineers. Considering the long, successful existence of the Engineers, 2,000 years is basically a week to them. Earth was the destination of one particular ship and crew.

    2. That’s the question, isn’t it? See number 5

    3. Human are even stupider when frightened.

    4. They electrified the head in order to check the “occult tissue growth,” the [unspoken] thought being: “maybe we can find out what that growth is!”

    5. Wouldn’t you be hostile if a puny, unhealthy-colored weak little version of yourself woke you up and interrupted your critical mission? Wouldn’t you be even angrier if you find out they’re as stupid as they are puny because they need analog machines to speak for them? And the first question these disgusting things ask is “can you help this gross old man live longer?” For all we know he had never seen a human before and was completely revolted at Weyland. The other stuff you asked can be lumped in with “this mission was of critical importance and the Engineer was determined to carry it out — as only one pilot was needed he probably checked all the status info later.”

  • Swearingen

    Dr. Who is a character to care about and there is engaging storytelling which makes the show entertaining.

    Prometheus has no characters to care about and it’s horrendous script writing,its sole purpose seems to be just to make some pretentious point about how aliens made us,which is an old hack idea in SF anyway.

    You cocksucker.

  • Brack to the Future

    Well, when you get to the heart of it, Ridley Scott became successful by selling (over and over) the big fear of technological dominance. If you can get past this NWO-ish frottage of the general populace’s fear glands, there’s actually a lot of theosophy in this movie. Just as Terminator was the broad-strokes definer of college dorm conversations from the late 80s on, Prometheus is the modern fodder of sticky, inchoate late-night group ponderings on life, the universe, and 42.

    Why would the majority of the USA worship an angry, hateful god who has from time to time done much unrighteous smiting? What is it about faith that inexorably links Shaw’s survival and David’s comeuppance as her Guy Friday? Would she have paused to say “Oh God …” which told David she was still alive if she were a heathen? Would she have bothered with David if he hadn’t kept her cross? Etc..

  • Swearingen

    Yes ,yes…a creative and intelligent mind can find philosophy and insight in a grain of sand…and in a beige pastiche of an essentially very disappointing movie…it has all the ingredients but somehow the meal is still very unsatisfying for my taste…perhaps the chef has allowed to many (unqualified ?) cooks to stir the broth ?

  • Walter Sobchak

    “These scientists are mercenaries. Bottom of the barrel types”

    Yeah, right. Because of course, if you spend $1,000,000,000,000 on a mission to another solar system to find the first alien civilization off the Earth, you want to hire “bottom of the barrel types”, and not the best, most top-notch talent that your money could buy.

    Of all the fanboy/fanwank explanations that you people pull out of your asses, this has to take the cake.

  • Brack to the Future

    Yeah, because if Iraq and Afghanistan have told us anything, it’s spend a lot of money and you’ll SURELY get the best people. You in the market for a slightly-used bridge?

  • NCS

    The background music should have been Staccato for Strings :)

  • Secret Asshole

    Why was black goo leaking out of the vases when we see that the black goo is sealed in glass containers within the vases, when David disassembles one?

  • Stephen Stempo

    The problem with the movie is that it’s a big fucking episode of ancient aliens. NO single serious scientist or corporation would EVER take “we found a constellation on a piece of rock can we go there?” seriously.

    The two main scientists were basically crackpots. The other scientists all seemed retarded. I mena yeah there are ways people act in sci fi sometimes but let’s be honest in alien and aliens people acted pretty real. In this movie they act like they’re in Friday the 13th. you know why they act like they do? Because the script need them too. It’s sloppy.

  • Stephen Stempo

    They are on an alien world, they must have a degree from somewhere. Lord know they probably have some education. I think it’s safe to assume these aren’t phoenix online graduates. THEY’RE ON AN ALIEN PLANET. You would think fight or flight would kick in and they wouldn’t just willy nillyTOUCH STUFF.They are either in no way scientists or they are and the script is broken. Period. You could get McDonalds employees who would act more professionally and with a sense of dread than these people. They all act like this is fucking Ho-Hum another mission woop-tee-do. You found a corpse on another planet!!! So either they are not scientists or they specifically hired scientists who are mentally disabled for funny.

    also my favorite part about theology is pointing out the bullshit in it.

  • PrometheusIsusAwesomesus

    I hope you are happy with yourselves. These “Red Letter Media talks about Prometheus” videos are the epitome of ignorance and are a crystal clear reflection of the human race in general, all of us, except for me and others like me, like-minded other people, like me, and I don’t even care that you give Prometheus a half-decent review. Meh! It’s fucking ridiculous how indecisive you are about this film. These videos are the last straw. You don’t even know. Recommending it one minute, taking the fucking piss ever since. Love it or like it one minute and question everything about it another, and not even the right questions either. Those questions, they aren’t even the questions. The question is… well, if you’d understood the movie by watching it and not having it spoon-fed to you by search engines and Michael Bay then you’d know the question. I can’t ask the question, I can’t even say it in general, nor can I type it out, I’m not qualified. So don’t bother asking. You should do your own research. Lazy.

  • Whoever

    Sarcastic slow clap.

  • diehounderdoggen

    The movie is a work in progress?
    Then why did Damon Lindelof and Ridley Scott not finish it?
    Did he intend to sell us an incomplete product?
    Will we get the rest in DLC?
    If the movie’s about evolution then how come they say we didn’t evolve?
    If it’s about origins then how come nobody ever dealt with that past the “They created us!” line?
    Wouldn’t Shaw, a deeply religious person who uses “Because I choose to believe.” as a scientific argument, be a little put off that albino space jockeys made people?
    How come she’s the same kind of faithful answer looking for person at the end of the movie as she was at the beginning of the movie, this in spite of having her view of human origins do a 180 in a matter of days?
    How do you know them other ships in the goo containment facilities didn’t have the goo on them?
    Did you read the Promethyclopaedia?
    Are YOU Davin Lindlemannn?
    Who looked at the comedy shot of Michael Fassbender’s smiling head being zipped up in a duffel bag and said “Yup, that fits our sweeping space epic.”?
    Why was the first half of the movie paced like Alien and the second half paced like Evil Dead 2?

    Whhyyyyy?

  • Viggeo Morgenstein

    That was the most retarded fucking string of words ever put together by a living organism.

  • Viggeo Morgenstein

    Apologist say what?

  • bludo

    Also, dragging your genitals across everything you come into contact with is not sanitary or even safe. Not saying everything you touch touches your genitals but there are good reasons to keep your most sensitive of areas covered beyond social interests

  • Cameron Vale

    I like the way Mr. Snrub thinks!

  • TapewormBike

    Why did you write this? Why are there people like you? Why weren’t you born to Casey Anthony?

  • trololololololol

    This comment zone is very entertaining.

  • Brack to the Future

    Well okay, but if you will allow me to retort, in Aliens, it didn’t ruin the plot or “break the script” when the Space Marines acted very much out of character. In fact, at the time I believe it was almost in parody of what we know today as Marine Corps Bearing, or even a savage thrashing to hierarchy of Officer|NCO|Grunt. The movie made a big statement by portraying Gorman as the Little Lieutenant Who
    Couldn’t. In other words, Aliens was smearing the gung ho Top Gun crowd, just as Prometheus smears a mercenary scientist who “loves rocks” and is just there “to make money.”

  • Stephen Stempo

    Which would be fine except the stereotype of jar-head military is based on actual people in the military. I don’t think the stereotype of “mercenary scientist” exists. There’s a reason that the joke “Military-intelligence is an oxymoron.” has been around for over 100 years. I could actually see people in the military acting like they did in Aliens. I can’t suspend disbelief to believe that an educated geologist would be a fucking moron or that a biologist would be that fucking stupid after being freaked out by EVERYTHING ELSE

    Also the marines in Aliens were at least consistently jar-heads within the story,. They started out as gung-ho ass holes who didn’t know what they were getting into and at least some of them changed by the time they were killed. The Characters in Prometheus’ actions from scene to scene were dictated by the scene not by anything else they had done in the script.

    . The movie is stupid. Makes no points, has no story. It is pretty to look at though.

    Aliens had a story, had a structure, had a protagonist, had characters with motivations and wasn’t glorified porn for fans of “ancient aliens.” This is what happens when you let the guy from Lost write a movie. He’s good at raising questions but not so good at answering them. Being VAGUE is not High concept. IT’S LAZY.

  • Stephen Stempo

    No you get people who sadly joined the military for an education and to better their life thrown into a war with no reasoning to get killed by our last two presidents because OBAMA AND BUSH are soulless fucking monsters.

  • Stephen Stempo

    3. Only in movies.

  • Robert Fitl

    You suck, buddy.

  • David Lizewski

    You shouldn’t need a list of sequels to make sense of a film.

  • elgatoblanco

    Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on a horse.

  • cannuck99

    These guys are Japanese…I think it’s safe to say that this is being sold as some kind of anime sex toy by now. Anything to avoid them sticking their dicks in their women.

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