Red Letter Media Talks About Prometheus on DVD

October 13, 2012187 Comments

Questions will be answered.

Click here for YouTube version

Filed in: Half in the BagShort Films

  • dennett316

    Just an interesting observation…they often criticise movies for treating the audience like idiots, yet now they want every single thing in Prometheus explained in minute detail. Would they criticise Alien in the same way? What is the space jockey? Where did it come from? Why were they carrying so many Alien eggs? What was that blue light over the eggs and how did it work? Why would they take a cat on a mining trip?
    Though in fairness, the DNA thing is a decent point. It all depends when the Engineer introduced the polluted DNA into the gene pool though. Perhaps the primates were already around and the DNA in the drinking water mutated them to create us.

    Eh, who cares. I enjoyed Prometheus and it was an interesting watch. Good sci-fi promotes discussion, even if it’s just “What the fuck just happened?” discussion.

  • anon

    That’s not an interesting observation. That’s just you speculating that they want Prometheus explained in minute detail. They’re simply poking fun at the fact that there are SO MANY gaps in logic and storytelling in Prometheus. When have they ever said they want everything spelled out for them?

  • IIRC, Prometheus was supposed to give answers about how Alien got started in the first place. But, it ended up giving us more questions than answers.

    As for the cat on a mining trip question: I always just assumed the crew of the Nostromo were the future equivalent of long haul truck drivers, who do sometimes bring dogs and cats with them on trips.

  • Kenlin Bros

    I think the difference is that those are ancillary questions, whereas the questions of Prometheus are central to the plot. If the alien were a different alien in each scene of Alien, or Ripley became a cat because she was attacked by the alien, you’d be closer to the what-the-fuckery of Prometheus.

  • Leo Ladenson

    I know one question that hasn’t yet been answered.

  • Anonymoose

    According to rumors, Disc 22 contains the answer to “When will the next Plinkett review be released?”

  • playdude92

    Answers will be questioned.

  • BlowMeIfYouDisagree

    when filmmakers try to write something smarter than they are

  • Gentlemen,I salute you

    This is pure comedy gold.

  • Gentlemen,I salute you

    Willers question answer beed?

  • Gentlemen,I salute you

    when filmakers take their audience for a bunch of idiots who go : “uh ah look at them purty lights”

  • Gentlemen,I salute you

    now now
    don’t bait the fanboys 😉

  • <3 Jay, he's so hot. Also, Prometheus was a fucking pos. I know you are making a joke about "people don't want to "work hard", think, about the movie, but there is a whole lot of shit which is just baffling.

    AND DON'T TELL ME IT WILL BE EXPLAINED IN THE NEXT MOVIE! I didn't pay over $400 to see the movie just to have it explained in the next movie.

    I can't always go to the movies. I'm not rich like Mike Saysksystchaukiii.

  • I love Prometheus but the dvd blu-ray ad campaign is laughable, it’s the exact same as season 6 of LOST, it’s a parody of Lindelof

  • fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckthismovie

    Prometheus sought to steal divine fire, and now shall be picked at tortuously forev- LOOK A ROCK

  • Astor

    Uhm, when I watch a movie that shows us every character acting like an imbecile, I don’t exactly think I’m being treated like a “smart” individual.

    Your questions about ALIEN aren’t analogous to the ones levelled at Promee- Praumzau- Poromezeasu, because all those things (space disc jockey, etc) are just the premise of the movie, not the plot or character actions. It’s like all those imbeciles who think “Children if Men” is stupid because we are never told exactly how or why the female race is infertile – that’s the premise, stupid! Even more importantly (and even if you consider those you asked to be plot or character questions) they are just very few questions and aren’t compounded by porrly developed and idiot characters.

  • I didn’t even find Promethus to be that obtuse. I don’t really get why so many people think it’s a bad movie.

  • BlowMeIfYouDisagree

    Ridley Scott has further proved his stupidity by making those recent comments about Blade Runner

  • Tiberious Poop

    Here I was hoping you’d have some actual information about the DVD specials…oh well.

  • Muthsarah

    The shot at 0:59 is my favorite.

    Who’s the guy who popped in at the end? Plinkett’s great-great-grandson? The guy Jay shot? What kind of truck is narrow enough to fit down that small alley? When Mike and Jay arrive in Plinkett’s home, why is the cameraman always there already? Why don’t we ever meet this cameraman?

  • salamandra44

    “questions will be answered”
    Are the trying to convince me or themselves?

  • bleejean

    Did you guys just get a new video camera? This video looks great! And it seems like you have an actual cameraman now too! 🙂 (Before the videos just had cuts between static shots but in this one there was actual zooming!)
    Looks like RLM is moving on up in the world. Glad I was a fan before it was cool.
    Oh, and funny bit.

  • 1.) Characters acting illogically or foolishly to advance the plot

    2.) Writer/director trying to recapture the fright and grit of Alien’s misled space truckers, apparently forgetting that *these* characters are trained, paid and informed scientists

    3.) Contradictory, inconsistent sci-fi elements that suggest a hazy overall concept instead of a complex mystery

  • Andy S

    When filmmakers stomach’s are hungrier than they are.

  • Guest

    The first commercial I saw that had “Questions will be answered” caused me to burst out laughing. No one else understood.

  • Som Atic

    This is possibly one of my favorite videos on the internet….

  • BlowMeIfYouDisagree

    lol – “must keep making crappy movies, and pissing on my own legacy because… need… cash”

  • Robin Ottens

    I completely ignored all the marketing for Prometheus and just saw it for the first time. I don’t see how this movie was ever ‘supposed to give answers about how Alien got started’. Is that what trailers suggested it would be? Where was it said that this movie was about answering big mysteries? Because I didn’t get that either. It was a solid sci-fi adventure touching on some big themes, but it never suggested it was going to fully explore those themes in-depth.

    I feel that half of the criticism towards this movie is based on wrong assumptions about what it is supposed to be about. And I agree with dennett in that you can probably make a list of questions like this for any movie. But I see what Mike and Jay are saying, and do agree with most of what they say in their actual review.

  • Fan

    A lot of the questions in the film have to be answered with outside sources like the TED 2023 video and deleted scenes and stuff. I don’t know why they couldn’t have kept relevant and important information in the film instead of making the audience seek out that information themselves.

    Not that I want my hand to be held throughout the entire movie, but I should at least be able to understand why characters do what they do and relate to it.

  • I believe Mike was never that enthusiastic about Prometheus, but I will accept this as an apology for the inappropriately positive review of Prometheus that appeared on this web zone earlier this year.

  • Ramble

    This two hundred million dollar production has elements that were not even vaguely thought out let alone researched.

    We live in an age where the workings of the world can easily be used to advance a plot but here we have a movie filled with bad plot devices (bypass surgery medical beds that open in such a way you have to stand and put yourself in them, or flammable environmental protection suits), character inconsistencies like a geologist who has a background with spelunking to have made his ‘Pups’ who thinks all caves look alike and doesn’t use the map on his arm when trying to rapidly exit locations), and tries to evoke deep themes like religion v science with characters who are insults to those of faith or scientific professionalism.
    Just tell me with in movie evidence what Elizabeth’s doctorate was in and I may believe that this film was written by someone vaguely competent and meant to be more than props to Riddly’s pretty cinematics, by the hack who wrote that the invisible monster of lost was a tropical polar bear. .

  • Fuck me hard, this is the best review of the film’s faults I have read.

    Thank you for writing it!

  • Cliff, we accept your apology.

  • Astor

    the previous Prometheus “Questions that erase Jay’s mind” had also such revolutionary features as: zooming, panning, extreme close-ups and zooming into Black Baby Jesus.

    Also, is that the recording of a real phone conversation?? It could be one of Mike’s Thousand Voices(TM) over the phone, but I just have to wonder if they actually called to that number…

  • meh


  • Dubs

    I loved the movie but this is brilliant.

  • imaginaryGHOST

    Uh.. well, the Engineers got to Earth, which was a barren planet, and the one dude sacrificed himself to start life on earth. Which means, yes, evolution took place. The engineers didn’t just make us, they made everything.

    Note: I realize this video was a joke, but there are many legit questions to ask of the film. This just wasn’t one of them.

  • yeah right

    They made everything so evolution took place ? Really ?
    How is that different from lets say creationism?

    I don’t think you really understand the concept of evolution.
    Neither does Ridley Scott or whoever came up with this (Prometheus) story.

  • yeah right

    Over 400 $ ? Where the hell did you go to see this so called movie? To LV 426 ?

  • yeah right

    Exactly.When you need to bring a whole goddamn encyclopedia to the cinema to make sense of a movie there must be something fundamentally wrong with it.

  • imaginaryGHOST

    No. Creationism implies everything was made as is. What I’m saying is they provided their DNA so “life” began on the planet. That’s why I said earth was “barren” (it helps to read.) Then evolution took care of the rest. From amoebas to us.

    Next time, before accusing someone of not knowing something, make sure you understand what the conversation is about first. You know, to not look like an idiot.

  • yeah right

    …no..there is no “road map” in evolution…meaning evolution is not a process with a plan to a certain type of outcome…it’s a process of life adapting to everchanging circumstances of enviroment,time ect.ect producing a vast array of different species…what the movie implies is not evolution,not really..the part about them kickstarting life on earth is not contradictory to evolution,but the whole notion of it having such a precise outcome is more akin to creationism than evolution…

  • yeah right

    Ridley was trying to be profound with the whole “they made us” story but we messed up so they made or introduced xenomorphs to vipe us out…but what if he made the story so that we were just a byproduct of engineers creation of xenomorphs? Like we are just a trivial part of xenomorphs genesis,a useless by-product…wouldn’t that make it much scarier than putting humanity in the centre as if we really matter in the big picture?

  • bwahahahaah!

  • it deserved to be positive, Prommy was a good movie. And if you don’t think it was good, at least it was interesting. All these remakes comming out right now are not interesting in the slightest. The only things with a big budget at the mo are Nolan movies and remakes. Nothing else.

  • pizza roll

    Are your crazy the movie sucked so bad that it hurts, it made me want to punch a baby in the face.

  • BlowMeIfYouDisagree

    Explain why it was good. Give thorough examples. Because I can damn sure explain why it was bad

    Good luck

  • BlowMeIfYouDisagree

    You realize you’re no different than the idiotic fanboys who defend the Star Wars prequels right?

    Here’s one to live by – if it wasn’t on the screen, then it didn’t happen. Or, put it a different way – if it was important to the plot, then why wasn’t it in the movie

  • Excellent movie was excellent… and also a movie.

  • Guest

    “I aint’ ever read any of those Star Wars books, or any books in general, and I ain’t about to start. What matters is the movie.”
    -Words of a wise alcoholic murderer

  • JJ

    Christ. It’s JUST A MOVIE.

  • Matrim

    pizza roll & BlowMeIfYouDisagree managed to sum up both sides of how I relate to this film. But I would also like to add that, aside from it being a bad film, it wasn’t all that interesting either. Sure, it was pretty, I’ll give you that, but pretty does not equal interesting. I lost interest in the film once the film made it clear to me that it was not going to be operating on any sort of logic.

  • Lous Bristow

    Prometheus is either a masterpiece in disguise, to be revealed as such in years to come (read: Alien and Blade Runner), or it is a complete mess born from the ego of its creator.

    I agree with RLM concerns regarding the overly numerous plot holes and ridiculous events that took place in the movie. Regardless of whether events are truly explained in sequels or Blu-ray/DVD extras, the narrative of Prometheus is still flawed or incomplete. This is undoubtedly going to be unsatisfying for paying movie customers, regardless of the potential cult following that may develop thereafter.

    A list of ridiculous events that cannot be excused includes (but not limited to):

    1) The lost geologist (Fifield)- despite being equipped with state of the art tracking, positioning and communication technology. He maybe stoned, but his need for snacks would soon make him realize he has a plethora of devices at his disposal to help him back to the ships vending machine.

    2) The retarded biologist (Millburn) – afraid of his own shadow, petrified of life form discovery (movie), excited by life form discovery (DVD extras), yet when presented with a clearly larger and more ominous form of worm species decides to circumvent natural instinct. This contradicts self preservation and serves as a fight or flight paradox.

    3) The arsehole scientist (Holloway) – speaking of self preservation, there is a carefree attitude to helmet removal as scientific proof that the inner atmosphere is breathable (potentially bad for himself), yet careless attitude once fish eye is discovered (potentially bad for everyone). Arsehole, or bad writing?

    4) The lazy captain (Janek) – although one of the better characters, its baffling that such a passionate individual, demonstrated through numerous selfless acts (Fifield attack, WMD speech, ship kamikaze), would initially find it amusing that part of the exploring team is lost and at risk (Fiflield and Milburn). Nice to know a captain has your six.

    5) The potential android (Vickers) – can only run in straight lines.

    6) The Olympian scientist (Shaw) – speaking of potential androids, what human could function so admirably after having a custom made C-section designed at a male only facility before running, jumping, rappelling and fighting for their lives?

    7) The forgetful engineer (Unknown) – did not aim for the escape pods but instead ran into massive head room full of danger and …. sigh … lost his head.

    So, despite the ridiculous failings, I offer some theories that may help explain:

    1) The human race was designed for the specific purpose of becoming hosts for biological weapons. This explains why they would create us then destroy us. We were a farm for the engineers.

    2) The human race shares DNA with other species (i.e. Apes), these could have been a fork in genetic evolution, mutations can find their own evolutionary path. This does not mean that horses and pigs evolved through the same means. Perhaps evolution is far grander than we understand, and transcends worlds.

    3) The Xenomorphs could have been a presently existing, or a previously existing prehistoric creature, native to the engineer home world, or an engineer discovered world, where the species could have become extinct. Perhaps the Xenomorphs became extinct due to a global event or perhaps their reproductive systems had adaptation limitations and thus caused their extinction. The engineers discovered their potential as weapons and decided to revive them (read; Jurassic Park), and use a clone farm derived from their own genetic material (read; The Island). To correct any reproductive issues, they could engineer the host vessel concept in order to make them more adaptable.

    Food for thought

  • Pretty hilarious stuff 🙂

  • QQ

    Sure .But that’s no excuse for being a stupid mess.Especially when it aims to be a smart SciFi addressing so called fundamental questions.
    People who like SciFi are generally not stupid.Why insult them with a stupid movie?

  • Murderin Murphy

    I liked the part where they showed no enthusiasm.

  • Guest

    Indeed you have a shitton of steps in evolution starting about 3.6 BILLION years ago (when life started on Earth) with a variety of evolutionary pressures that had nothing to do with whatever genetic seed “kicked it off” that could EASILY push evolution in one direction or another.

    Did the Engineers DNA somehow make the comet come kill off the dinosaurs 3.5 billion years later, perfectly on time to make room for mammals and eventually the rise of intelligent life on a hominid body plan? If Engineer DNA was able to push life on earth towards a particular result, why did a dominant lifeform – dinosaurs – arrive that was so different from them and would likely have carried on indefinitely without a comet strike?
    To back up a step, the whole concept of evolution, for anyone without a basic education in biology, is that MUTATION ie diversion AWAY FROM whatever genetic code was previously there is what drives evolution. From there circumstances turn out to be favorable or unfavorable for the mutation. It dies or occasionally goes on to reproduce.
    So for the PREMISE of Prometheus: genetic information is donated 3.6 billion years ago, 3.6 billion years of MUTATION OF THAT DNA occurs, producing a bipedal self-aware intelligent creature with two eyes, two hands, two feet, a nose, a mouth, two ears, etc similar to the original DNA donator… as a RESULT OF 3.6 billion years of MUTATION OF….OF that original DNA donation. Mutation being, of course, the altering of genetic code producing an imperfect/changed copy and evolution being a result of a series of mutations. Riiight.
    So yeah, pretty much creationism. “Hey, an Engineer started things and then humans came along made in his image. That’s totally like, evolution.”

    So basically the filmmaker wanted to think about the “big questions,” particularly the origin of life, without taking any trouble to have some basic information about it before making a film about it? Kinda like how Lucas made a 3-part epic on the fall of a Republic into Empire without, apparently, working very hard on learning about how it actually happened in history or how it was for people living through it – despite, for both directors, plenty of material available free at any library.

  • Pft, no, that’s way too expensive. I had to go to LV 342.

  • jason

    i don’t think he was defending it.

  • Name

    We are the 99 %

  • I just have some questions.

    Does Rich Evans live at Plinkett’s house? Is he related to Plinkett?

  • nodice

    well done! good capture!

  • BigRick

    Hahaha everything about this stupid internet video clip is so funny, what do you call the style? It’s kinda like “Dogme” but not really. I don’t really give a crap, you can call it crying teenage facial for all I care but your show is still funny guys! Thank you. Oh and I just saw ‪Prometheus ‬and the movie was one long commercial for the sequel, so another childhood hero disappoints (Ridley Scott you just made a George Lucas …)

  • BigRick

    ‪Prometheus ‬ was one long commercial for the sequel nothing more …

  • onizuka

    I couldn’t agree more on the last point – we listened to Ridley’s commentary and watched most of the extras, and Ridley kept on saying “this is similar to that scene/thing in Alien” and “this refers to such and such in Alien” and I heard Lucas’s voice in my head, going “it’s like poetry, it rhymes…” so sad 🙁

  • TheRestofTheWorld

    ..oh’s official’s a thing…”He pulled a Lucas” ..I has a sad :.( …

  • TheRestofTheWorld

    Their impressions of overmedicated mental patients is priceless 😀

  • TheRestofTheWorld

    I LOVE ROCKS !!1!!11

  • TheRestofTheWorld

    Can I fuck you hard too <3 ? Please ?

  • I wonder what weighty tome they used as the prop. The Walking Dead vol 1 Compendium or… Bone the one volume edition.

  • You guys should try and get at least one “Jay being unable to handle things/being showered in blood shots” every so many episodes.

    When he makes that face I just lose it.

  • Guest

    Rhymes with Star Trek Next Generation season 6 episode 20 The Chase, in which an ancient humanoid race called The Founders is found to have seeded their own DNA billions of years ago on other planets, giving rise to other humanoid races particularly humans.

  • Roman Polanski

    That’s weird, I just did a search for “crying teenage facial” and it brought me here.

  • Red Rowz

    Questions need to be answered.

  • Name


    C’mon you can do better.Put your insulting hat on.

  • Name

    How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?

  • When you gonna review the Canadian SOV 1989 masterpiece THINGS? That deserves a review, fucking do it already, you said you were.

  • Fan

    You got me all wrong, my friend! I wasn’t defending Prometheus.

  • Fan

    How was it excellent?

  • After watching Prometheus on DVD, I figured it all out: The movie was the Alien Vs. Predator script redone with different characters and locations.

    AVP: Charles Bishop Weyland of Weyland Industries discovers a pyramid with designs from several different ancient Earth cultures. He assembles a crew of specialists from around the world to be the first to find out what the hell it is. It turns out Weyland is terminally ill and trying to go out in a blaze of glory. Next, shit happens, like Aliens getting birthed and discovering the Predators created human civilization, Ian Whyte… I mean, Scar the Predator killing Weyland, everyone else dying by Aliens and other Predators, and one girl ending up with Scar, both of whom then have to escape an explosion to fight off the last big bad monster, which kills Scar. The girl leaves to wherever and Ian Whyte… Scar births a weird new Alien creature. It screams for the camera and the scene cuts to black.

    Prometheus: Peter Weyland of Weyland Corp assembles a team of specialists from around the world to track down the location of a planet based on cave drawings from several different ancient Earth cultures. It turns out Weyland is geriatric and trying to arrange for his glorious immortality. Next, shit happens, like alien creatures getting made and discovering the Engineers created human life, Ian Whyte… I mean, the sleeping Engineer killing Weyland, everyone else dying by mutated creatures and one Engineer, and two girls ending up left, both of whom then have to escape an explosion and crashing ship, leaving one of them to fight off the last big bad Engineer. The girl tricks the Engineer into getting killed by her squid baby and she leaves with an android head to wherever. Ian Whyte… the Engineer births a weird new Alien creature. It screams for the camera and the scene cuts to black.

    Yes, it all made sense… at last.

  • Yeah, I hear the Prometheus Definitive Extended Cut Blu-Ray Collector’s Edition Box Set will answer which Engineer created Mr. Plinkett.

  • Murderin Murphy

    Wait… “Prommy”? Is that what you said?

    Just checking.

  • Can I ask a question?

  • Gosh

    Something interesting in the debate about the film around the internet, is to see how people still do not accept that death is our limit, and there is no “god” as creator. Thousands of people hate the movie based in the engineers as creators, the genetic origin or as usual, a iluminati idea.

    I think the movie have great visuals, and would have worked very well without any mithology or connection with religion. Humans have a solid culture with “we have a paradaise and a eternal soul” the same arrogant posture from the last 5000 years.. the favorite creature, the holy creature and so on.. we are the especial monkey.

    I miss the good old times when a group of cientists faces a terrible creature without too much bullshit…

  • Chippa

    You got it wrong
    It’s the other way around.

  • Chippa

    My Little Ponny is a scourge.

  • Chippa

    AvP movies are even worse than Prometheus.

  • BlowMeIfYouDisagree


  • sure

    What if there is a God but death is still our limit and there is no afterlife? How about them apples ?
    I find it really ridicolous that if there is a God it automatically means we get to live after we die…. or some other crap…
    What if the so called God is something like Carlos Castaneda described in his “fiction” ,he calls it “The Eagle”.A being that creates life just so it can feed on it.No afterlife, no holding hands,no rewards ,no punishment.You live and you die and that’s it.

  • Bill

    Prometheus, a metric fuck ton of confusion in a long line of recent and generically “EPIC” films…

    I don’t understand why Hollywood thinks that you just shit out a quality film by throwing millions and millions of dollars at science fiction based scripts regardless of whether or not they are good or even make sense. While I can find it easy to praise Prometheus for it’s visual efffects and believable atmosphere, I just don’t think it’s special effects are really anything… Well, special.

    Problem with Prometheus and most big budget films nowadays is that there seems to be some unwritten rule out there that says that visual spectacles are the only types of films that can capture the attention of the masses. Which would be fine and all of people cared about other aspects of the story besides its scale. The only thing worth mentioning about Promethues is its visuals and the valiant but failed efforts of the cast to pull it’s shit turd of a story off the ground. Everything else about it is unfocused, unexplained, nonsensical, and just downright confusing.

    Just leave the Alien sereis alone. Alien 3 and Alien Ressurection already did enough damage to the franchise, it does not need any more shoehorned references in the end of any of Ridley Scott’s films. Let’s just agree that Promethues was a mistake and that no amount of HD Special Edition Platnium Combo Packs of Prometheus DVDs will ever come close to mending the wounds it inflicted upon it’s self. Just let it die.

  • Guest

    Please make sure you understand what the conversation is about first. You know, like definitions of words. Words like “evolution.” Soas to understand the meaning of the words you’re using soas to not look like an idiot.

  • quotation marks

    Your use of quotations is strange. You say the dna donation from the Engineer produced “life” as opposed to just saying it produced life, implying that what was produced was supposedly life but not actually life, then you refer to the earth as “barren” as opposed to barren, suggesting the earth was supposedly barren but not actually barren.

  • Ridley Scotch

    The big problem with prometheus is the complete failure to make a story with the idea of “were the gods astronauts.” The film is a mess trying to illustrate the origin of the gods and the reasons for the human race exist, with or without that industrial “egg” with black liquid.

    I imagine that in Part 2 David must reach the planet “paradise” with the skeleton of Elizabeth Shaw, after she entered a alien ship of 2000 years of age, without the slightest chance of water or food for a long journey.

    Now we have the space jockey as base code for the human race (DNA). Some type of giant Facehugger born from a human female. Eggs become industrial containers for a black liquid capable to reanimate dead flesh or twist other creatures in “things”. And a xenomorph born from the space jockey after the giant Facehugger make some love with he.

    Is basically an Alien movie with a attempt of be more… interesting? maybe a spin-off?

    This film is a mess!

  • guest

    my impression was always that there is no cameraman, just a room they are talking in – one of them knows there’s no camera while pretending there is, the other one is talking about movies without even thinking there’s a camera.

  • Ricky


  • Larry Wiseguy Awesomepants

    Hilarious. Jay’s face is priceless.

  • Muzaklover

    I find myself watching this over and over for the music. It fits so perfectly.

  • JMT

    Well in my opinion Promenthus is a stupid movie with too many plotholes, but I’m seeing the whole thing as the engineers have created us and implanted to our “subconscious” a map to heir “weapon facility planet” (what an idiotic idea). Why? This may be their safeguard on their creations. If a created species became developed enough to reach a planet so far away, that means that that species has a potential to be a danger for the engineers in the future, so they are destroying it..

  • JMT

    Wrong, wrong, wrong. Alien and subsequent movies were simple stories. Slashers in space in general. Who or what was the space jockey was not important in that movie, because it was about crew of a mining vessel, that has to battle an unknown life form to survive. Prometheus in an over intellectualized crap that in its premise says, it is going to examine the source of a human race. Also, the ship is full of asshole scientists (and drama queens), and THE WHOLE DAMN POINT of the movie is to research an unknown life form that had left a path to that planet

  • ridleyscott

    Hey. assholes….stop complaining about “Prometheus”…….there are one or two problems with this movie but it is still one of the best movies this year and I’m sick of assholes complaining about it because all the answers haven’t been fed to people on a plate. It’s meant to be part 1 of a trilogy so what would be the point of finding out everything during the first part? If you don’t want to think for yourselves about stuff go watch “Spiderman” again or that dumbass Avengers movie you appeared to like,…Jeez, you even liked fucking “Looper” and that is one of the most retarded movies of 2012!

  • ridleyscott

    Hey, asshole…why don’t you wait until you’ve watched all of the 3 alien prequels until you say they don’t make any sense? In the mean time try using that wasteland between your ears and figure out what you think is going on in the movie? It’s idiot haters like you whining about not being spoon-fed every bit of information that will stop the 3 movies being made and then you’ll never know what was supposed to be happening.

    Also…Alien 3 – good movie. Jump off the bandwagon and stop being a hater. Get an opinion of your own!

  • ridleyscott

    Hey, asshole…you tell us why it was bad and I’ll tell you why you are wrong.

  • Guest

    There’s a monumental difference between being spoon-fed plot details, and forming a coherent narrative that makes logical sense instead of trying to shove as much unanswered “philosophical” horse drool into a script as possible.

    And I love the “there’s going to be more movies to flesh out the story” bullshit cop-out. If a movie is crafted well enough to stand on it’s own (READ: Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, etc etc etc) then it doesn’t need to rely on the promise of further story comprehension in later chapters.

    Are Scott’s balls salty, or do they taste like blood pudding?

  • Frank Tobin

    a monumental difference between being spoon-fed plot details, and
    forming a coherent narrative that makes logical sense instead of trying
    to shove as much unanswered “philosophical” horse drool into a script as

    And I love the “there’s going to be more movies to flesh out the
    story” bullshit cop-out. If a movie is crafted well enough to stand on
    its own (READ: Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, etc
    etc etc) then it doesn’t need to rely on the promise of further story
    comprehension in later chapters.

    Are Scott’s balls salty, or do they taste like blood pudding?

  • DrunkLucas

    fuck you Ridley! fuck your mythological ass! Maybe James Cameron will help you to transform the black goo in blue. The engineers are the makers of the Na’vis too, why not? Avatar and Xenomorphes in SPACEEE!

    you fucking rich assholes!

  • Spider Lee

    Why the blue is a humanoid alien .. and the black has to be a liquid? racist! I will not tolerate more black goo!

    Put the xenomorphs again, is better a full sized creature to represent my favorite color! Alien 3 has a big white xenomorph, he is more human,why? racism!
    waar! waar!

  • What what ?

    Is there an echo in here?

  • What what ?
  • lollygagging

    Well,he’s a “genius”.

  • ridleyscott

    Hey, asshole…..the narrative was coherent! There are a number of constituent parts of the narrative which will need to be explained in future movies but that doesn’t mean the story was incoherent.

    I suppose you’re another asshole who sits there and criticizes “Prometheus” and then says “Looper,” (one the dumbest, shittiest movies of 2012) is “great”! Maybe if David’s head had winked to the audience and said “LOL – hey, it’s sci-fi…it never makes any sense” before being whisked off to Paradise in a rucksack all the haters and bandwagon jumpers would be loving “Prometheus” too?!

  • Bill

    Hey, asshole… I don’t think Looper was “great!” Like, why didn’t Bruce Willis just kill the man who invented time travel instead of trying to find a three year old kid he knew absolutely nothing about? Why did thugs in the year 2044 use weapons that were based on blunderbusses that existed since the 15th and 16th century instead of more innovative railgun designs? And, if the point of the Loopers was to kill people from the future, then why din’t they just install an incinerator right where the person was being transported to? Remove the whole purpose of needless hired hands… And why did the Loopers kill their own future selves? Shouldn’t they have gotten someone else to do the job to decrease risk?

    Anyways, both stories have a multitude of issues. I just think Looper is slightly better because the characters are little more interesting and less dumb (not saying much) and due to the fact it didn’t fuck up the entire back story of a beloved franchise.

    Those are the main reasons it just didn’t work for most people like me. And yes, Alien 3 was “okay” but I’ll be damned if anyone thinks Resurrection was good… Joss Whedon wrote the screen play to that strangely enough…

  • -_-

    The fanboy rage.
    Don’t pop a vein.
    It’s not worth it.
    Not for a mediocre and boring movie like Prometheus.

  • lollygagging

    You sound like you might have some emotional issues.
    Schedule a meeting with a psychiatrist.

  • LV4KissMyAss

    Are they though? I expected a lot less from AvP than from Prometheus but was equally disappointed with both. They were both shit in their own special ways, however categorically they are indeed the same movie…see above. What a clusterfuck of bollocks. Ridley should be shot before he does something terrible to Bladerunner.

  • Jake

    when is the next Plinkett review?

  • BlowMeIfYouDisagree

    Prometheus 2. For people who like to keep touching a hot stove

  • whatdoIknow

    Is soas really a word? Isn’t it supposed to be ‘so as’ ?

  • ridleyscott

    Hey, asshole…..I’ll sort of agree on one point….”Prometheus” should have been made separate from the Alien franchise because when all is said and done you are going to have 3 high concept sci fi movies trying to marry up in the middle with 4 (albeit very high class) monster flicks and that is unlikely to sit right.

    Having said that, at least they aren’t trying to change tone mid film like that piece of shit, “Looper” – 45 minutes time travel movie full of plot-holes and 45 minutes with some boring-assed “Omen” shit in a farm house.,,,,seriously wtf is that all about??!!

  • ridleyscott

    Hey, asshole…..go whack off to your “Avengers Assemble,” and “Spiderman” DVDs….maybe get your McG back-catalogue out when you get to the vinegar-strokes….that should calm you down nicely.

  • -_-

    So if I don’t like to eat shit that means I like to drink piss?

    You are funny.

  • Assshole

    Hey, assholes… Prometheus was an asshole, you asshole. Why don’t you asshole watch another asshole movie to satisfy your asshole, asshole? And Ridley Scott, what an asshole is that? Black Hawk Asshole? Your Gladiator is my Asshole, asshole.

    Anyway, what are your plans for tonight?

  • Eric

    Mike’s “Customer Service Guy” voice was spot-on.

  • Eric

    Home Run! That one is still bouncing among the bleachers!

  • Wholeass

    He is going to goatse.

  • Bill

    On page 456, under section 1124 of the Prometheus disc companion guide, I found out that the black goo is actually space jockey cum that has gene altering properties due to it’s “high level mitochlorian concentration.” Mitochlorians? Oh wait, that explains everything!

    I knew George Lucas must of had some role to play in this affair, no wonder nothing made sense…

  • Guest

    Whoze gonna understand “so as” these days? Gotta get commercial.

    Besides, maybe I was referring to the School of Oriental and African Studies in London. Or the Southern Oklahoma Ambulance Service. Or maybe I was just drunk an slurring my words. The point is, this would make you a bigoted jerk and me incoherent and retarded. You Drunkretardedorientalambulancist.

  • Turnwall

    You guys have to see “Rowdy Rathore”! It’s absolutely amazing, in a mind melting, plot poking, drama drowning, action addicting way!

    Here’s the trailer, the film on Netflix.

  • Wayne Pollock

    “There are a number of constituent parts of the narrative which will need to be explained in future movies but that doesn’t mean the story was incoherent.”

    Listen up you Twat-slurping, IBS loving, anal bashing Fuckroach!!, it does make the story incoherent. If they do not finish and conclude their story within the film, the story is narratively incoherent.

  • ridleyscott


  • I’m not into tiny penises.

  • TheRestofTheWorld

    That’s o.k.Neither am I.

  • Guest

    WTF? Why is Rich Evans getting his DVDs delivered to Mr Plinkett’s house?

  • WTF? Why is Rich Evans getting his DVDs delivered to Mr Plinkett’s house?

  • Ok, I finally saw this thing. I was gravely disappointed. I side with the whole: plot-line should stand on it’s own in a film school of thought. Call me old-fashioned, but someone mentioned Star Wars: New Hope (or The First One), and you can watch that just fine without the prequels In fact, don’t for the love of all that is good. The first time I saw Citizen Kane, I had no idea who Hearst was and that worked out just fine.
    Some ideas for Mr. Plinkett: 1) Originally we think the cave paintings were a constellation, but in the briefing when they arrive they’re a planetary system? Really!? Babylonians saw other planetary systems? Did they have the Keppler telescope? I could have bought the constellation premise, maybe. But planets from another solar system? Was that info encoded in our DNA? I don’t get it. And why the hell are they pointing to them? Is it a warning? Whatever…. 2)When science lady gets questioned on why she thinks the cave paintings point to our creators (which could have a dozen alternate explanations, such as “it looks like a bear we like to hunt”) she says: “Because that’s what I choose to believe.” Take that Carl Sagan and your extraordinary claims require extraordinary proofs stuff! Yep, scientists discover data and just choose what to make of it. No peer review, just belief. Historical Jesus has more evidence on his side. Only the robot has the sense to point out it’s only a thesis until she gains more evidence. Thank you robot, you’re the best part of the film! 3) Theron’s character: “We’re 1/2 a million miles form Earth!” …so you’re not to Jupiter yet? (Thanks to Neil deGrassse Tyson for that one) 4) God: what the heck was religion doing in this film? Her cross that was so important proving what? That she has the scientific credibility of the guys who make museums with people living with dinosaurs. Why was religion an issue in this film? And if it had to be, why was it so poorly used and developed.
    5) The Space Jockey dies in the wrong spot! He’s in the escape module not the chair we see him in in Alien. The whole movie was movie to that moment and it FAILED!!! And the final reveal of the Alien was kind of under-whelming after all the messy plot or maybe my brain was just tired by the time they got around to it. I’m not sure yet.

    I truly hope Mr. Plinkett is considering all of this as he takes his “brain pills.” After the tremendous let-down of this film, I’m hoping his review will bring answers and healing closure.


    Give us something new you frauds!

  • Not an idiot

    Let me guess, you were one of those people who said “Hey asshole…why don’t you wait until you’ve watched all of the 3 Star Wars prequels until you say they don’t make any sense?”

    Yeah…idiots will defend anything.

  • jake

    when the next plinkett review?

  • ridleyscott

    Hey, asshole….the first Alien movie didn’t explain shit either and I don’t remember anyone whining about that. The only difference is there wasn’t an Internet culture supported by whining haters like you back in the late 70’s.

    If you’re watching a serial on the TV like “Homeland”…does that have an “incoherent narrative” because you aren’t told the full story in week one? No…of course it hasn’t. There are another 2 “Prometheus” movies expected – wait until you have seen both of those before you judge whether or not the narrative is coherent.

    During the interim between movies if you find that your cro-magnon brain can’t cope with the notion of trying to supply some of it’s own answers to the unanswered questions then may I suggest you forget about watching any movies meant for the grown ups and you return to watching “Alvin And The Chipmunks” and “Ice Age XXIV”….just pretend it was all part of a very bad dream?1

  • fit


  • Still trying to figure out what the questions are in the first place… other than what was the point of having Charlize Theron in the movie.

  • DoctorKillpatient

    1) Yes it was a constellation. Constellations are just group of stars. That constellation contained a star, that had a planet, which in turn had a moon that could support life – which was the moon (planet) Prometheus lands on. There is nothing complicating here, if you really try to think about it.

    2) I agree to a degree. Elizabeth seemed irrational as a scientist who clings to god. I mean, you (hopefully) and I can understand that science is based on facts – the world is what it is. Belief does not factor into it, at all. Science simply describes the world, as opposed to religion which makes unsubstantiated claims that are meant to be taken on faith. But there are scientists like her out there. Scientists who are rational thinking human beings when it comes to their profession, but who disregard that rationale when it comes to their religion. Though there are only few scientists like her, they do exist.

    3) Yep, Neil was right.

    4) The movie wasn’t concentrating on a particular religion (though it was a Christian cross, that she wore), but rather on taking things on faith, and believing in things one possibly cannot fathom. Elizabeth (and Holloway) believed that they would find some mellow creators, who would then sit down and explain why they created us. Instead they found a race that considered humans nothing but an incomplete experiment. It is safe to claim that the Xenomorphs (aliens) were the ones that Engineers wanted to create – humans were sort of a byproduct. So you can see how someone who vehemently believes in one thing and discovers something completely different, in the process this ends up destroying her faith.

    5) That space jockey was not the same space jockey that was in Alien. Different space jockeys, different ships, different planets, etc.

    6) The “black oil” was a chemical toxin, a biological weapon, created by the Engineers to alter the DNA of the infected. In large quantaties it caused rapid mutation (Fifield, earthworms, and the decapitaded head of the Engineer). In small quantities (why David gives just a drop to Holloway) it was meant to affect the sperm of human males and once they had mated, the females would give birth to a parasitoid creature resembling the face-hugger – which is what Elizabeth had in her womb. One could presume that the purpose of that biological ship-of-death was to drop its cargo into the oceans of Earth, where it would infect the human and animal population and give rise to Xenomorphs.

    “all life on Earth evolved from a common ancestor would have made the idea that “The Engineers” seeded the Earth with DNA that would EVENTUALLY become human”

    It is exactly what the movie suggests. Since you do not see any animals running around the Engineer or fish swimming aroung in the water (once he drinks his goo), it is safe to presume that you described exactly what the movie seems to suggest. All life on Earth was created (engineered) by the Engineers. They saw that somewhere down the line, evolution would lead to humans – physically similar creatures to the Engineers – and then the time would come to infect all life on Earth with the bilogical weapon that would create the Xenomorphs.

    I’m feel sorry that you are getting caught up on Mike and Jay’s act and not realizing what this movie actually hints at. That confusion, sadly, can only be attributed to the pills that you didn’t take.

  • because..


  • BlowMeIfYouDisagree

    and all of that was in the movie- and not just stuff you pulled out of your fucking imagination. Right?

    Sure it was

  • Cy

    “Prometheus” by Ridley Scott was the most disappointing thing since “Star Wars, Episode One: The Phantom Menace.”

    This movie can be completely described in one phrase:

    Stupid people doing stupid things.

    The movie makes it so incredibly difficult to connect in any way to the people on the screen that we find ourselves not caring at all about anything we see. To make things worse, it’s not even passable as “Science” Fiction. Any science related thing is so laughably wrong that anyone with a basic science background has to be simultaneously high and drunk to be able to stomach the film. Any “deep” questions the movie poses have been done many times and are totally unoriginal, for example Star Trek: TNG, Mission To Mars, Chariots of the Gods, etc.

    And then our human instinct to rationalize why we paid money to see fecal matter in 3D, our brains say “hey, maybe it looked really good?” But we ignore the uncreative, uninspired monsters, and the unoriginal visual elements taken from other Sci-Fi. It’s just a Blue-and-Yellow movie, looking like a rip-off of Mass Effect and every god damn DVD cover known to man.

    “But at least the women in it are hot?” Go look on the internet, you can see tons hot naked women for free. It’s called porn. And even the shallow plots of porn videos make more sense and are better written than the one in Prometheus. Just because you throw a bunch of mysteries into a story doesn’t make it interesting or deep. It just means you are probably a former writer of “Lost” and have a proven track record of disappointing your audience.

    “Prometheus” finally completed the shit sandwich that is the Alien franchise. A couple of really good movies with shitty ones after it, and now a shitty one before it.

  • lara

    Instead of such an surfical, meaningless, tiring, helpless, general rumble on the movie you should at least make your points clear with examples instead of trying to imitate and sound like the great Mr Plinkett, so anybody can proof how wrong and stupid you are.

  • OAJ

    I watched Prometheus last week and it felt a lot like all the amateur scripts I encountered in film school, were the person writing it had a bunch of vague non-ideas about philosophy. It also really felt like the writer didn’t care; he knows he’s getting a paycheck either way so he’s just going to scribble whatever down and grab the money. I’ve never watched Lost, but if it’s anything like Prometheus then I don’t understand why people were able to maintain interest in it. I care about characters and emotional dynamics, not metaphors or symbolism or mystery meat tidbits of information being squirted out like an iv-drip.

    Otherwise Prometheus felt exactly like like every other Alien franchise movie to me; it was a series of unsettling and even disturbing gore sequences strung together with some semi decent characterization and competent visuals. It’s defiantly not a “smart” movie, I’d say its on the same intelectual level as something like Battleship. There are no answers to any of these questions because there’s no substance to the script in the first place. It just feels like a film student going “I think this is a good metaphor for blah blah blah and this represents blah blah blah and its symbolic of blah blah blah.”

  • DoctorKillpatient

    No, I used my brain. You should try it.

    Not every movie has to spoon-feed you the details. You should have some minor mental capability to fill in the caps yourself. People here make it sound as if this movie is the most confusing thing ever (Mulholland Drive Part 2), when in fact, it’s pretty straightforward. Everything I said (apart from that Engineer using his ship to pollute the oceans of Earth) can be corroborated with the clips taken from the movie.

    For example, here’s good video describing the symbolism of Prometheus, that does the opposite:

    I simply explained the caps on Prometheus’ own merits. If you have a better explanation, apart from “Dooooh! This movie hurt my brain. Me no understand”, let me hear it.

  • Otherhand

    [Argh, Discus ate my reply. Trying again…]

    “It is exactly what the movie suggests. Since you do not see any animals
    running around the Engineer or fish swimming in the water (once he
    drinks his goo), it is safe to presume that you described exactly what
    the movie seems to suggest.”

    Not true. Engineers are said to match our DNA (leaving aside the obvious problems with that, for the sake of argument). They create air exactly like our own on their ships and in their temples. There’s an Engineer breathing on Earth in the prologue’s creation scene.

    We got a breathable atmosphere because of photosynthetic plankton, about 500 million years ago. The seas were teeming with complex life by that point. I don’t think Scott or Lindelhof know this, because this is not a subtle film. They certainly couldn’t be bothered to research this and come up with a workaround.

    I’m quite happy for films to be films and be completely handwavey in scientific terms, but once you make appeals to science directly you (film-makers and viewers) had better stick to that.

  • rant

    The intent of the movie is pretty straightforward that is true.However ,the execution is a blunder.The “science” behind it is wrong,check the video about scientist ripping it to shreds somebody else posted here in the comments,the story itself is unoriginal and nothing new to SF fans. And the characters if you can really call them that…they are very poorly realised besides the obvious exception of David.

    It is visually stunning.Too bad about the content.

  • DoctorKillpatient

    @ rant

    I’ve heard that video of those supposed scientists “ripping it to shreds” on YT, and it sounds more like smart-aleck-fanboy whining than anything else.

    They make lot of assumptions that aren’t in any way substantiated by the movie itself – like Shaw having a placenta, that Shaw cannot be scientist and religious at the same time, Holloway not having enough information about the environment before he took his helmet off, Fifield having the equipment that told him where he and Millburn were, Engineer’s head exploding for no reason, etc.

    For “scientists” there is way to much confirmatory bias to what they are suggesting – they are basically accepting parts of the movie that support their beliefs and ignoring other parts that doesn’t. Also, they do not seem to realize it’s science FICTION.
    Now, if anyone thought it was a crap movie or had bad characters – that’s fine. That’s totally your opinion; it’s subjective and in no way argumentative. But in the confines of this movie being a science fiction, Prometheus works just fine.

    @ Otherhand

    At no point does the movie say that the planet at the beginning is Earth. In fact it was Scott himself (if I’m not mistaken) who was asked, if the planet at the beginning of the movie was Earth and his quote was “Not necessarily”.

    I know you’re quoting me, but I may have been wrong, when I assumed it was Earth.

  • fanboys will be fanboys

    They are actual scientists.They do science for a living.I will take their analysis of the “science” used in the movie over any fanboys defence of the movie.
    The “science” in Prometheus is almost on the level with Star Wars “science”.You know,space magic.

  • Plonkette

    Strangely enough, i enjoyed aliens vs predator more than prometheus. It at least made a bit of sense, plus paul anderson is banging mila. Good for him.

  • Constantine

    Which one?

  • Its the movie with the most PLOT HOLES EVER!

  • jubalbiggs

    “…and don’t tell me that they answered this better in the novelizations or the comic books, or any of that crap. I aint read any of them books, or any books in general, and I aint about to start. What matters is the movie!” -Quote by an unknown great film critic who suddenly lost his mind while watching Prometheus.

  • jubalbiggs

    Yeah, it was “interesting” to see two dimensional cut outs representing people act like total morons and do things no person would ever actually do for no reason that can be fathomed. I am all for watching retarded B monster mash movies. I mean, they do have their place, right? Just… what the hell is up with the pretension on this one? A big budget monster mash is not 2001 because it looks pretty? Yeah, and Phantom clearly out-did a New Hope because it was prettier and flashier and had more light saber duels!

  • Fred

    All you’ve got to do is buy Prometheus on blu-ray, to get even more more questions answered.

  • PC gamer

    That Harrison Ford character is a replicant.It ruins the movie.It’s better if it’s ambiguous.Or if he’s not a replicant.

  • DoctorKillpatient

    @ fanboys

    You just made an argument from ignorance and appealed to authority in one short post. WOW.

  • Plonkette

    You are my very soul, tormented……..

  • Plonkette

    “If you don’t like Prometheus, you should stop watching movies” – Jay

  • anon53128

    oh god these comments

  • they actually have an entire tv series dedicated to answering questions about prometheus on the history channel. its been on for a few seasons and is called how the states got their shapes.

  • MCBGamer

    Is that real? If it is I am buying it just for the lolz

  • Meester Smeeth

    If you care about characters and emotional dynamics then you’d probably appreciate Lost. There are some truly wonderful characters in Lost. The mysteries and mysterious goings-on and whatnot are well executed, even if all the answers aren’t staring you directly in the face by the finale, but it’s the characters and how they affect each other that really matter.
    The characters in Prometheus are just there to die, just like any other character in any other Alien film, only I’ve never disliked the characters in any of the other Alien films the way I dislike these characters. There isn’t one character in Prometheus I can honestly say I care about, which came as a shock to me being a fan of Lost, a show I found to be abundant in interesting characters.

  • The thing that makes me sad about ‘Prometheus’ is that, over 30 years later, Ridley Scott has forgotten what made ‘Alien’ great.

  • Meester Smeeth

    I hope you guys are gonna give this one another HITB episode for a reappraisal once this has all blown over.

  • Rod

    Mother of God, this is funny.

  • Honestly that made me laugh so hard there were tears.
    Great job boys.

  • Jack

    I liked Prometheus. It’s not an Alien movie. I don’t think it was ever supposed to be. I think they tacked on the Alien stuff to make it more marketable. It was by no means perfect, maybe not even great, but I still like it. Some of the questions the film raises aren’t meant to be answered. “What was the black goo?” Perhaps it was some chemical that was meant to evolve life at a faster rate and make them more aggressive to be used as weapons. “Why did the Engineers makes us and then try to destroy us?” We don’t know, that’s the point.

    Not to say that nothing needed explanation. There definitely character decisions and leaps of logic that were confusing (Why would you run TOWARDS the evil goo, why not just go to the left or right when the ship was falling instead of running straight?). But a lot of these are purposefully done. A mystery is more fun when it’s a mystery. That’s why Prometheus is successful. You were all expecting an Alien film, but what you got was sci-fi thriller that asks us unanswerable questions.

  • jubalbiggs

    Whether a movie is a “mystery” (which this was not, though it could have been written as), or whether it is not an “alien movie” or not is totally beside the point. There are BASIC THINGS that a movie must do. If it fails to do them, it is seriously flawed at best.
    Any story of any kind must have an antagonist. You can write something with no protagonist at all, but you MUST have an antagonist, because this is the element that alters the status quo. The three classic plots of literature are Man versus Man, Man versus Nature, and Man versus Himself. In all of these plot types, there is some kind of discernible antagonist. In Prometheus we have; 1 black goo which does completely different, unrelated things every single time it appears in the movie, 2 worm like things that pop out of the ground and eyeballs, 3 snakey monsters that resemble genitalia, 4 a squid-baby/face hugger thing that demonstrates a logic destroying ability to increase 100 times in size and mass while feeding on thin air, 5 big white skinned guys who do random things that have no clear purpose, goal , or explanation, and 6 an old guy in a cryo tube.
    Out of that list, can you name the antagonist that drives the plot forward? Can you list one single element that CANNOT be removed from the movie without destroying the story? For example, if we simply removed the old guy from the movie entirely, it would roll along exactly the same way. If we removed the alien thing at the end, any old monster would have filled his place. We could have just had the alien ship programmed to launch all by itself and somehow tell people it is headed to Earth. In fact, that would have worked better since then we could hint at the hubris of man interfering with stuff and setting it off, then regretting their arrogant meddling.
    You cannot name one item from that list that is VITAL. You know why? No antagonist. This means the story is fatally flawed.
    Alien wasn’t just a horror movie in space. Lots of horror movies in the 80s were really big and made money and even led to spin offs. We never saw Chuckie or Freddy graphic novels (that I am aware of) back when graphic novels were very rare. We never saw a Friday the 13th fan base involved in long, ongoing discussions of the Friday universe. We did see this with Alien. Why? It was a sci fi story as much as a horror movie. In fact, it was an extremely intelligently written movie.
    In Alien, the story is driven by the ongoing discovery of a singular, brilliantly planned out and designed, fake organism. The changing nature of it’s various phases of the life cycle lead to constant surprises as the thing changes and we do not know what to expect next. We don’t expect it to pop out of the guy’s chest, we don’t expect it to suddenly grow, etc. Yet, because of the careful design work, this creature is so well put together that the life stages seem just believable enough for us to suspend our disbelief. Much work was done to achieve this, from real sheep guts in the eggs during the facehugger scene, to studies of insect biology, to actually not telling some of the cast that the prosthesis was going to pop out of the actor’s chest and catching their honest shock and horror. Prometheus could not possibly be driven along by an unfolding mystery because it’s aliens were so badly hastily, and illogically thought out. They do not have anything consistent about them. You get the impression that every alien in the movie is just play dough that can become whatever stereotypical thing the director thinks might draw a reaction.
    We discover in Alien something bigger and deeper as we go. It becomes clear that they were routed to that planet intentionally, and we begin to realize that the corporation, through it’s tools on the ship; “Mother” the computer, and the robot, is intentionally setting up the crew for experimentation. We begin to understand that the alien itself is amoral. It is not an evil thing (like Chucky or Jason), it is just an animal following it’s instincts. Yet a far more serious and sinister evil is at work here; the evil in human nature as fellow humans USE the alien as a tool to screw over their own kind. This is a critical part of the writing of Alien and is a level of sophistication COMPLETELY lacking in prometheus. They stick an old man in a cryo tank in there like an illiterate retard aping the motions of a brilliant composer and demanding the same respect. The old man subplot in Prometheus is just shoehorned in, has no connections to anything else, and it ultimately unnecessary. It could be removed entirely, and it wouldn’t change the non-story in any way.
    Movies are more than just stories, otherwise this would be a literary critique. Movies must SHOW us things. They cannot simply TELL us things. This is the crux of the director’s art. Good movies show us things in one picture that educate us better than volumes of words while bad movies use volumes of words to make up for failing pictures. In Prometheus, we are TOLD that our protagonist is a brilliant scientist, we are SHOWN that she is a retarded child. We are TOLD that the goo is a weapon via shoehorned and clunky dialogue. We are TOLD that the ship is headed for Earth by a character with no way to really know that. We are TOLD that it heading for Earth would be a disaster by a character with no way to know that. We are TOLD through dialogue that the captain has had an instant change of heart from a cold and selfish jerk who didnt care about his crew dying to a self-sacrificing hero in the space of one frame. We are told so many things that blatantly contradict our eyes that it becomes an exercise in mind-over-matter to even continue to watch.
    In a good movie, characters must act in a way that is believable and logical based on their own nature (tough guy, bully, nice guy, whatever) and what they know logically based on the information we have seen them receive in the story. This is important, because while I can make a movie about firefighters or bank managers that will piss off those particular professionals, but pass muster for the rest of the population despite inaccuracies in the material; there is one thing I can never get away with, since the ENTIRE audience is expert in this. I can never get away with showing human nature inaccurately.
    The characters in Prometheus do not act logically or consistently based on who they are and what they are supposed to be. They change dramatically depending on whatever the director wants in a particular scene. Xenobiologist becomes afraid of dead bodies of aliens (yet wants to befriend live and dangerous looking ones), asshole captain who leaves his post while team members die horribly suddenly becomes a self-sacrificial hero. Whatever. The only character that is played straight is the corporate boss woman; and she is one dimensional and uninteresting as a person.
    In a good movie, the main character usually goes through an arc and changes as a person. Alien had plenty of logically acting characters who did what normal humans would do in that kind of situation and so enhanced believability rather than detracting as the characters in Prometheus do, but to really illustrate this, I would point you to Aliens. In Aliens, Ripley begins as a neurotic, traumatized, shut in (which makes sense given the last movie). She doesn’t trust humanity after being used as a guinea pig by the corp, and she is barely socially functional. She has to open up through the movie, interacting with, coming to care for, and ultimately helping to rescue other people. She has to confront her own fears, develops a maternal connection to the orphan Newt, and in the end, when she fights the queen with the power loader, it isn’t just cool action, we are rooting for someone who has now come full circle and is directly facing down her own worst nightmare. Secondary characters like Michael Beihn’s character change as well; going from a selfish vet who is looking after number one and keeping his head down to a man forced to take charge and try to take care of others. He grows into a leader trying to take care of the group, reaches the very limits of his own emotional endurance, and is helped by Ripley (who has to reach out) to overcome this and continue. This is great character work. This is wonderful writing coming out through good acting. This is a good movie.
    Now back to Prometheus. …Hmm… yeah… nothing at all comes to mind as far as any character arc of any kind for any of the characters. They begin as cardboard cutouts and that is how they meet their various grisly ends.
    So we are left feeling empty at the end. We watch a wonderfully pretty final scene with great big falling starships and we really, really want to reward this MASSIVE expenditure of money and time by actually caring what happens to any of these “characters”, yet we do not. We don’t give one flying fuck whether our protagonist girl or the ice queen girl is the one run over by the ship. We don’t really care WHERE she is going off to in her “search for answers”, because we could care less about that emotionless, robotic, inhuman creature pawned off on us as a main character. We would even forgive the obvious, BS, commercial trick of having our entire movie take place when they get to a planet to “look for answers”, find none, and move on at the end to go to ANOTHER planet to “look for answers” if the JOURNEY had been a story, an unfolding mystery, had shaped our character in some way or taught us something or highlighted something about human nature… anything. Instead we are numb, empty, and increasingly PISSED OFF that we lost our ticket money instead of just finding a pirated version somewhere on the internet.
    For those of us who were fans of the Alien and Aliens movies, it isn’t that this was not “an Alien movie” it is that this was not a GOOD MOVE!!! This pain does not go away. This makes us want to f our cat and eat pizza rolls and drink bleach! Our frustration is only made WORSE when Jay gives this …thing… a pass and says they will do no plinkett review, for now we know there can be no catharsis, no healing, no cauterizing of the wound as we got with Phantom Menace. It must fester and seethe. And it will, for a very long time, on many comment boards all across the internet.

  • MrGuy

    Is the DVD set really that huge or is that a prop you guys made?

  • nanamus

    only watch plinkett reviews. i’ll check back in a few more months.

  • discostew

    2:58, what is that movie to the left of the lamp? I tried cropping and pasting in Google images, but I guess sometimes life isn’t like Blade Runner.

  • pokeymcgee

    I got the biggest, fanciest edition there was. It’s four discs, which, after watching this, is a little disappointing.

    It does answer a nice number of questions. Questions like “why don’t the characters act like human beings and react when weird shit is happening around them?” it turns out they did, but they deleted those scenes. Also, the character development is all in the deleted scenes as well, particularly a great scene with Janek and Vickers that was cut out of the movie when the studio decided the movie shouldn’t make any fucking sense.

    You know how there were indigenous worms in the head chamber that mutate into the hammerpedes that nobody notices? And how Milburn decides the horrifying penis alien looks cute and wants to pet it? Turns out there was a scene where Milburn discovers the worms, is elated as you would expect an astrobiologist to be, and later makes a connection between the harmless worms he found earlier and the hammerpede, which is why he doesn’t perceive it as a threat.

    In earlier drafts, it’s made explicit that the space jockeys only came by every couple thousand years to give humans – and only humans – a genetic “upgrade,” via the black goo.

    Most of the other questions can be answered by saying “Ridley Scott is a smug prick who isn’t as smart as he thinks he is, and people were so intimidated by him on set no one bothered to tell him that humans actually came from Ethiopia.”

    I wasn’t expecting any answers, to be honest, so I’m pleasantly surprised. Although, the fact that the answer is pretty much “we made a pretty good movie, but then deleted the parts that gave it context” still makes me upset.

  • Hooray for replying to month old comments.

    No offense, but it sounds like you just didn’t get it, like most of the people who watched the movie. There are decent, acceptable reasons and logic behind the vast majority of the specific complaints that I’ve seen people bring up.

    Feels like people are content to just say “I didn’t get it without having to think about it, so it clearly doesn’t make sense and I’m not going to make a real effort after the fact to understand it.”

    Just what I think though.

  • Hakmer Siregar

    I think it was like X-Men, he didn’t want his name credited for that one too. It wasn’t exactly how he envisioned it. The script was done but the director and actors didn’t played it as he wanted it too. Whedon said that somewhere. I don’t remember where.

  • AVP did exactly what it said on the tin. It promised Aliens fighting Predators and that’s exactly what we got. It was more shlocky and cheap than we’d come to expect from the franchise, but it at least worked as a film and had enjoyable moments, as well as characters that made decisions that were comprehensible within the framework of the movie.

    None of that can be said about Prometheus. I have no hesitation in saying that Aliens Vs Predator is a vastly superior film to Prometheus.

  • Exactly exactly exactly. I think the only reason the film wasn’t universally panned like it deserved to be (including by Plinkett, which is borderline unforgivable) is because Ridley Scott made it. I just don’t understand why he still has such high respect when he’s made nothing but garbage for thirty years. The man’s made *two* good movies; how many more turds does he have to pretentiously shit out before people realise he’s a hack?

  • Dude, that was just beautiful. It’s a tragedy it’s buried down here in the comments, it deserves a platform of its own.

    I’ve become slightly obsessed with this movie and can’t stop myself reading other people’s reactions to it, but what you wrote here may well just be the best I’ve come across yet. You really get to the truth at the heart of why this movie is so crushingly, insultingly bad.

    And that last paragraph really got me. The one thing I was waiting for was a Plinkett evisceration to give me the catharsis I sorely needed. It’s so close in every respect to The Phantom Menace that it seemed tailor made for his critical autopsy and I was *devastated* when they gave it such a pass. My theory for this (and for all the other critics and moviegoers who apologised for the film) is that it was made by Ridley Scott. It baffles me that a filmmaker can make two good films, then make nothing but garbage for thirty years, top it off by shitting all over his own creation with this movie and *still* receive fanboy praise and respect instead of being called out for the hack he is.

    My only hope is that one day Plinkett will realise just how wrong he was and do a proper breakdown of this awfulness, but I guess until then all I have for comfort is comments like yours. Thanks bro.

  • Thanks. Yeah, I actually tried to start a thread in the message board section wit h that particular post because I thought it might spur thought. Redletter jay shut it down and killed the thread. I don’t know, I guess he saw something in Prometheus that I didn’t (or a completely different movie?) To be fair to Ridley Scott, I loved Gladiator, liked Black Hawk Down, and even thought that new Robin Hood was very watchable. I think it’s a hit or miss thing with him. If you re-watch Legend, you can see a lot of his weaknesses. He is so completely obsessed with the visuals of something; the way it looks, that he can forget about story, pacing, etc. It’s almost like he sometimes reverts to just being a cinematographer. I think he left all the writing and most of the thinking on Prometheus to mr Lost, and just focused on making things look cool. Probably just “phoned it in” as they say.
    I don’t know why Prometheus struck such a peculiar chord with me, but I actually went out to a theater to see it, had been anticipating it, and was more pissed off by that movie than anything I’ve seen since Phantom Menace. I think time will not be kind to it and a lot of the people who feel they have to stick up for it will evaporate as happened with Phantom Menace (do you remember when it had ardent defenders? I do.)

  • None taken. But I can ruminate over Blade Runner for days on end.

    You know what the plot reminded me of? When I was 19 and 20, my friends and I played D&D during college summers. I DM’ed, and by playing off the room I came up with some really interesting sci-fi/horror/fantasy future concepts on the fly. Everybody had a blast, and from time to time we still talk about how novel and immersive the experience was.

    But as a whole, a transcript of those sessions would make for a choppy, inconsistent novel or screenplay. I stitched together cool ideas without regard for a coherent fictional universe, let alone a plot.

    If I may offer a suggestion in kind: get over your easy piqued amusement factor and start thinking critically about motive, character and internal logic.

  • alex

    alien 3 is my favourite one 🙁

  • homo neanderthalensis

    humans came from Tanzania

  • Alexandria Sanders

    lol curious to why on the single of Mike, why there’s all that empty space on left side of frame.

  • Xavier

    And that is why I had such problems with people saying it was a perfect or fantastic film as presented in theaters. When you trim a movie down for a pacing style and run time considerations and sacrifice the moments that allow audiences to understand character motivations and scene interplay (and have people say well there is an interview that will help you figure it out but that interview or site is not what you have with you in a theater), it was as I called it a beautiful looking mess. Those deleted scenes did not ruin mystery, they would have paid off connected scenes better and avoided the arguments that viewers pitted against each other. Oh well, onto the fan edit full movie scenes restored.

  • Calum Macleod

    There are actually people out there who love the Phantom Menace and I’m one of them. Agree with you on Prometheus though and Plinketts review is still hilarious.

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