Red Letter Media Animated: The Terminator Commentary

October 16, 20151,138 Comments

Here’s a fun animated short a fan made using audio from our Terminator Commentary Track.

You can find Mckodem’s youtube channel here.

Filed in: General Updates

  • Bubs

    Did the Animated Plinkett guy die? Good. Everyone will miss him.

  • spidertour02

    This is … strangely adorable.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    HOORAY! PSEUDO-[REAL&NEW]CONTENT IS HERE!

  • I heard if you play The Lady Terminator along to the RedLetterMedia Terminator commentary, they sync up.

  • Bubs

    Not difficult, since they spend about 3 minutes discussing the actual movie.

  • Not as good as Plague’s Dog Sitter but still good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZNNk14MpEI

  • Amontillado

    “George, looks like you’re about to be terminated.”
    “James, are you ready to be a dead star.”
    “George, looks like your time has run out.”
    “Seems the force is weak in this one.”
    And many many more!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Nothing will ever beat that. These frauds do not deserve the love and respect of senpai Plague.

  • Smiley_ie

    Cool animation good job

  • Amontillado

    Those hack frauds deserve MORE!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I don’t like the art

  • Amontillado

    I do and don’t like the animation.

  • yonderTheGreat

    I approve

  • Witty Moniker

    Do you mean Bob Vila?

  • Amontillado

    HOW ABOUT BILLY MAYS!?!?!?

    HI I’M BILLY MAYS HERE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO JAY’S MAN HOLE, A ONE OF A KIND FIND! NO HOME SHOULD BE WITHOUT IT!!!!!!!

  • Adzl33t

    With the Star shirt, Rich Evans looks like an older Steven Universe

  • Ron Moses

    That was great! Nice job.

  • n11

    I liiiike it! Good art and attention to detail.

    *Doorbell rings*
    “Hello.”
    “Jake Lloyd?”
    “Yes…”
    *Pushes door open*
    ….

  • My ex wife

    I liked it.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Wow, WTF is the world coming too…

  • Bubs

    *sniff* *sniff* Is that a bra burning I smell?

  • Jegsimmons

    thats pretty decent animation.

    hope to see more.

  • RLMkeepitup

    “If playboy can’t compete in the porn market, then it’s time to be concerned.” Well, better late than never I suppose.

  • TapewormBike

    Yes.

  • RLMkeepitup

    This.

  • Klint

    Reminds me of the animations people did for the Ricky Gervais Podcasts… which also featured a guy with an all-consuming laugh.

  • At least when people say “I buy it for the articles” won’t raise laughter any more.

  • irreal

    I love this! so awesome!

  • Visit the guy’s channel and look for pre-rec animated.

  • RLMkeepitup

    we have to watch and if they keep buying now we know they weren’t lying bastards

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    It’s the end of Playboy. Remember OMNI, the sister publication to Penthouse…

  • I guess, it’s kind of sad Hugh Heffner lived to see that?

  • Palpatine

    James Cameron’s Oscar has Jack’s face on it. You may have not noticed it, but your brain did.

  • Paul S.

    This is good.

  • OH MY GORD!

  • Palpatine

    I had to rewind the video to confirm my suspicions.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I once found a penthouse on the side of the road. Pre-internet mind you and virginity intact. If the article’s theory is correct, I should probably be hitting women in a Room somewhere.

  • RLMkeepitup

    he’s like Mr. Weyland at this point.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I don’t want to seem curmudgeonly, but this “Animation” left me stone faced (not stoned faced)…

  • RLMkeepitup

    how I imagine Rich’s reaction went

  • Reminds me of Home Movies, and anything that can do that is wonderful.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    i forced my parents to take me to jingle all the way when i was a kid lol. it was due to my love of kindergarden cop and the idea of arnold getting pregnant in that other movie i didn’t see.

  • Rosemary

    It gets an A- because Jay shoulda had sideburns instead of bangflip. 🙂

  • Palpy, is this a relative of yours? cdn.destructoid.com//ul/315725-town.jpg

  • Dimitri

    great animation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    No Disney’s Fantasia is great animation. I’ll refrain from a description of this so- called animation…

  • RLMkeepitup

    its the best passion project since tales from genysis space

  • Michael Collins

    That was pretty good, but too much dumb laughing at their own jokes..
    Calm the fuck down, morons!

  • bruce wayne

    Alright you hack frauds, this isn’t Half in the Bags review of The Martian, but it was pretty damn funny. My favorite part of the Terminator commentary to be sure. Now get off your lazy fat asses and write this script.

  • bruce wayne

    Don’t be a hater.
    After all; there’s no hate but what you make for your sellllllf!

  • bruce wayne

    Oh Palpy, I just love it when you’re just being plain ole silly.

  • Michael Collins

    There was no hate, examine yourself if that’s what you saw.

  • Daniel Bakke

    This is the best thing I’ve ever seen.

  • Palpatine

    That’s my mother.

  • fred

    No. You calm down, you dumb fat skinny chinese fuck.

  • RLMkeepitup

    how do you know they still use scripts? did you read something

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Rich Evans has a star on his tshirt, because he’s a star. You may not have noticed, but your drain bid.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    The PreRec Qwop one is genius.

  • Michael Collins

    Now ^ there’s hate..remember, take your meds..

  • Red Skeleton

    That was pretty tight. Can I take this opportunity to remind you lazy fucks AGAIN that the Pinklett The Animated Series section of your website is full of missing or non-working links. There’s even a list of what’s wrong on the main PTAS page’s disqus section… posted by me like a year ago.

  • Like Icare

    I like the bit where the huff post goes all “OHMAHGHAAAD! We’re so desentitiesized to porn Playboy ain’t cuntin it anymore for ass!” and rides that slippery slope all the way to that old canard about 1 in 5 college students being sexually assaulted, then leaps onto the back of that other bull about 1 in 4 women experiencing domestic violence and then ties that all together with kids fucking and human trafficking.

    GO Kelly Ladd Bishop! RIDE THAT SLIPPERY SLOPE INTO THE RED HERRING OF SUNSET OF ASSOCIATION FALLACY! RIDE IT HARD! RIDE IT LIKE THE BULL IT IS!

    Meanwhile back in real world… Why pay for erotic images when porn is for free?
    Why then would a magazine limit itself to adult stalls – when they can sell advertizements EVERYWHERE just by covering those tits with a bit of cloth?
    I also like this jab at VICE in the original article:

    The target audience, Mr. Flanders said, is young men who live in cities.
    “The difference between us and Vice,” he said, “is that we’re going
    after the guy with a job.”

    And article ending with:
    “Don’t get me wrong,” Mr. Jones said of the decision to dispense with
    nudity, “12-year-old me is very disappointed in current me. But it’s the
    right thing to do.”

    VICE – You know, for kids.

  • Palpatine

    Wow, even God must hate Plinkett: The Animated Series.

  • Big Mclargehuge

    Animated Plinkett sucked. this REALLY works. I’d like to see segments from the other commentaries in this style.

  • Like Icare

    Lived? Heffner knew that from way back.
    That’s why Playboy remained erotica instead of going full hardcore.
    And that’s why it now goes even softer – cause that’s where the ad money is.
    The man runs a biz-n-ass.

    Same way George sold his franchise about children killing genocidal space Nazis and a shitload of hand cutting – to Disney.
    Let someone else deal with the issues of keeping it all family friendly.

  • bruce wayne

    Whhhhhat? No, Mike says to Rich lets get started on the script. I’m sure he was just kidding. But that get off your fat lazy ass was a Plinketism.

  • bruce wayne

    Guess you missed the reference while you were busy taking that personally. Just riffin’ on the no fate line dude, peace out.

  • Amontillado

    Gaaaaaaaaaauh!…..

    …huh? did someone say something?

  • RLMkeepitup

    Oh that script. Thought you meant HITB scripts, nobody knows if they still make’m. Where is your avatar? we all know you’re batman.

  • Amontillado

    Chuck Beefsteak.

  • bruce wayne

    SHHHH! Don’t tell anyone, except Rachel, and Commissioner Gordon, and Lucius Fox, and … Yeah okay never mind, you ever notice how movie Batman is becoming more and more like the HISHE Super Cafe Batman? BECAUSE I’M BATMAN!

    As to HITB using scripts, only when there are Plinkett skits I think. Otherwise they do seem to be pretty much on the fly. Still love the show though.

  • bruce wayne

    And the belly shake the first time Rich laughs is wondrous.

  • sepiajack

    This was great. the animated Pre Recs he did as well were really good.

  • FiachSidhe

    Fuck you, ya white, honky, nordic, nigga, bitch!

  • FiachSidhe

    Fucking anime…

  • TheVerySpecialK

    You burnt your mother’s face with Sith lightning? No wonder she carries a gun.

  • instant relief

    Yeah, this was very nice. <3

  • HedgeKnight84

    They should hire this guy to do more of these. Great stuff!

  • Palpatine

    She’s just really old. My parents are in their 140’s.

  • Percy Gryce

    Here’s a fun animated short a fan made …

    We’ll be the judge of whether it’s a fun animat-, ah, fuck it.

  • Percy Gryce

    Remember what happened the last time they hired a fan artist–that didn’t end so well ….

  • Percy Gryce

    Blast Hardcheese.

  • Percy Gryce

    I don’t hate it.

  • Like Icare

    Andrew wasn’t actually hired. He posted that dick-pic purely as fan art.

  • Like Icare

    His mother is a Gun-nun? Or is that Goon-nun? Gungas? Jar Jar?

  • frankelee

    Before long they can just transition to having fans produce all of their content. And just throw in old recordings and clips of them, like a hologram Michael Jackson concert.

  • Palpatine

    What did you like about Plinkett: The Animated Series anyway?

  • tOmy`

    I just got home from a pub and I have to ask:

    WHAT IS HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPENING?!

  • Palpatine

    New content not made by them.

  • tOmy`

    Hey! this was pretty cool! Shoutout to the person who made it! But!

    Have you seen Justified?

    P.S.: No, really, Yoda’s glad you’re okay.

  • Palpatine

    The thought of losing you, is unbearable.

  • tOmy`

    AND THE ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

    Wait, what?

  • Palpatine

    Does this count as new content even though it’s not made by RLM?

  • instant relief

    I’ll let you decide, but the answer’s no.

  • Amontillado

    CHAOS! TURMOIL IN THE STREETS! RACE WARS 2015! OH GOD, THE HORROR, THE HORROR!

  • Amontillado

    Mmmm, yes, yes quite right, quite right old spot. We shall judge, indeed, mm yes indeed. Ta ta for now and give my best to Julia.

  • Amontillado

    Buff Mancheeks.

  • William Smith

    This is absolutely fantastic. That’s probably my favorite part from the terminator commentary as well. Except for, “Don’t tell mariiaaaaaaaaa”. But yea props to the guy that made this. Nice work.

  • Michael Collins

    Fair enough.

  • Michael Collins
  • Percy Gryce

    I liked it when it was over

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I hate the Huffington post. I would have picked a different source but this was the most entertaining..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    My judgment is harsh, fuck that animation..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yay! Saw the Martian and it was awesome! My kind of movie through and through. I’m sure there’s a lot of folks who won’t like it or think it’s boring, but yeah I loved it. Exhilarating.

  • Black Tom Jones

    Please please please give this guy money to make one thousand of these videos. Good lord, what a smart animation….

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I like Genesys Space. That shit was done on an Amiga.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Has anyone with hulu seen the tommy wisseau show neighbors? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGpwxHMUndk

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Thank you that let me right to Hitler watches “The Room”

  • Alex Lee

    Animated Rich is ADORABLE!

  • Noah R.

    I was scared at first, but this was actually quite entertaining!

  • It’s better than whatever this piece of shit is… https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lMYUduNoYls

  • He has so much hair!

  • Get some sleep.

  • Seth

    Mike is that youuuuu?

  • Seth

    Who the fuck wants to hear commentary about Jake Fuxing Lloyd and Terminator? How about get on your hampster wheel and crap out some new content/turds.

    But only because we asks so nicely.

  • Marvin Falz

    I like RedLetterMedia Animated. The animations are easy to understand, the scenes flow smoothly in themselves and as they shift from the reality of the screening room to RLMs fantasies. I like that Mike is animated with a mask / costume when he voices a character.

  • Red Skeleton

    Mike doesn’t look like Mike. BRING BACK SHAUN!

  • Nah, he’s just some German.

  • DinnerBone

    Troll

  • Domo

    And a jolly animated belly.

  • Domo

    I now want a John Connor mask.

  • Edgar Guerra

    Wow!…the animation helped a great deal. That extra element did the whole thing even funnier.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Me too. I had a Coke.

  • Like Icare

    A tablet with his photo should do in a pinch.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Some fan makes them animated shorts? What’s the matter, he’s too cheap to make them animated pants? Winters in Milwaukee ain’t no tropical paradise!

  • RIEVP Plinkett: The Animated Series.

  • Here is something really worth your attention , a very good opportunity for work for those who want to utilise their free time to make some extra money using their computers… I have been working on this for last two and half years and I am earning 50-80 dollar/ hour … In the past week I have earned 13,245 dollars for almost 20 hours sitting ….

    There are no special skills required just basic typing and an internet connection ….

    There are no time constraints … You may do this any time when you are free ….

    check it what I’ve been doing….Visit websiteIink on my profiIe` to see what I do`
    @ef

  • Thomas Hunt

    Is cartoon Mike a Dick Tracy villain when he’s not recording commentary tracks?

    http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141031000709/disney/images/9/98/1990-topps-dick-tracy-stickers-10-flat-top-457f.jpg

  • tOmy`

    Well, I don’t remember watching it, so I had to re-watch it.

    And it is still pretty great.

  • Domo

    Can Flattop make a good Palpatine impression, though?

    I think Not.

  • bassbait

    You think you fooled us just by un-bolding your spam???

  • Rosemary

    Irrelevant me thought anime was more prepubescent panties, glassy eyes, and seizures. Sorry not sorry, I liked this. 🙂

  • bassbait

    I guess I can appreciate the effort but I found the animation to be very off. It made them seem less cynical than they really are. Whoever makes animation for RLM should be as horribly cynical about it as Mike is about life. It should look like a Vídeo Brinquedo production is what I’m saying.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    There were some great facial expressions. It was well done.

    God, this is the dullest comment I’ve ever made. True, but dull.

  • Mike B

    The animated Mike really should at least have shadows under his eyes… Like the real Mike has.

    I mean he kinda has always been old and bloated and tired elderly man his entire life.

  • Palpatine

    Mike’s haircut in the video reminds me of Coach Buzzcut from Beavis and Butthead.

  • bassbait

    He’s like Benjamin Button, but instead of starting old and ending up young, he just stays old the entire time.

  • Palpatine

    Tommy was at his best when he wasn’t making purposely making schlock.

  • Palpatine

    We all did.

  • Palpatine

    Tru dat.

  • Palpatine

    So you’re saying it should be like Plinkett: The Animated Series?

  • Palpatine

    Gone, and forgotten.

  • Palpatine

    Shaun died on the way back to his home planet.

  • Palpatine

    Jay’s the opposite. He looks like he keeps getting younger.

  • bassbait

    Mike’s face is animated enough as it is, I don’t think I need an animated series for it.

    http://puu.sh/kNtVh.jpg

  • bassbait

    The manhole keeps you fresh.

  • These characters are ironically more animated than their real life counterparts. I doubt Mike would stand up very much.

  • Paweł Kamiński

    This guy does a fantastic work! Mike should me alittle more stoic but it’s still great!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    As a cartoonist and animator, I have nothing but distain for this short piece of shit. I can’t believe people like this…something is fucky…

  • Mckodem put the Space Cop franchise in it. I’m surprised RLM does not sue. The lawsuit alone could be worth several dollars.

  • RLMkeepitup

    on a side note I’m surprised how many video commentary and review shows on youtube literally borrow Mike’s style, still. I’d guess he got comfy with people using his ideas before his first gray hair

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well to be honest I have been working on creating cartoon versions of Mike. Jay and the rest of the crew are to follow.
    It takes quite a lot of work to capture the CORRECT look and persona of a cartoon caricature.
    I’m almost considering just giving up on this pet project now that I see the reaction to some crap animation set to a prerecorded (not original) dialogue.
    If anything the so-called animation detracts from the spirit of Mike, Jay and Rich, they just seem like immature smug little kids laughing at their own jokes…FUCK…!!!

  • tOmy`

    I dunno, I always picture them sitting naked, between beer bottles, while Mike casually pours Baileys on Rich Evans.

  • He is pretty secure with his schtick. No one can top this.

    #classicstoklasa

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4eEJPZy9sc&feature=youtu.be&t=1m1s

  • Bubs

    I just don’t understand your vitriol for this animation. It’s a good cartoon. It’s funny. Well animated, and It’s even occasionally clever.

    As someone who works as a professional artist, I think if something like this makes you question your own project, you probably were never going to finish it anyway.

  • Seth

    Baste well, bake at 350F for 120 minutes, serve hot.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Bullshit. I won’t put something out there that isn’t finished. This cartoon sucks, by all definitions of suck. How is it clever if its just animated over an existing track? Originality factor 0, Artistic quality factor 0, entertainment factor 0…Sorry Bubs but I can’t accept this crap as viable entertainment. I’m holding firm in my opinion.
    Here’s my website that is under construction http://www.sentientgraphics.com. Check out my art if you’d like

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    I like this one though. I don’t like things that are different.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZNNk14MpEI

  • Bubs

    In terms of cleverness, there are small visual gags not related to the audio such as Rich’s Oscar looking like Jack, Mike wearing an Edward Furlong Mask, and the “comments” on Jake Lloyd’s computer – to name a few. When I was getting my BFA, I went to school with a thousand other people like you – people who think that their own artwork is somehow more valid than another person’s. (Trust me when I say there is nothing more nauseating than working with a talented artist who KNOWS he is talented.)

    This project is one or two weeks worth of animation. There is artistic quality in the style and the framing of shots. Thought and effort went into this project. If you can’t accept that simple fact, then you’re being willfully ignorant.

  • Mike B

    Alas, poor Shaun McKinnon, I knew him, Palpy.

  • erichber

    That was great!

  • Palpatine

    Really, what happened to him?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Shut your fat skinny face. I’ve been a professional artist for 30 years dude. I’m qualified to critique animation and, well you know my opinion on this one. You better get a good stock of Dramamine if good art makes you nauseated. Yes I know I’m talented. I’ve been told that everyday for over 35 years. Does everyone like my art? No certainly not, and I don’t expect them too. I work hard and support myself with, well myself.

    Here’s a website that used my fan art on the homepage. http://www.prometheus2-movie.com/
    So I know how it is when people use my creations.
    Simply put we all have our own opinions, but the general cluelessness about quality art is astounding.
    Welcome to “www,hypocryte,com”..”Bubs”.

  • TapewormBike

    As a grandmother and a BDSM afficionado, I thoroughly approve of it.

  • Bubs

    Oh, I didn’t mean to imply that YOU were talented. I thought your portfolio was lacking. It wasn’t bad, but it was hardly as astounding as you pretend it is. I just meant that hubris is the worst quality that an artist can have, and that the world already has too many artists like that. They’re not in short supply. If you really spent 30 years working as an artist, you should know this by now. And if you don’t, you probably never will.

    If you want to pretend there’s no artistic value in this animation, I won’t stop you. And, at the very least, I now understand your vitriol for this animation. Your insecurity is showing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yay! It’s not animated Plinkett!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And no one ever cared.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Animated Jay looks like Oscar Isaac

  • Bubs

    When I was a kid, I thought that the way real people became animated cartoon characters was through the use of a special machine that actually turned you into a cartoon. I also thought that the machine on Nick Arcade actually put you inside the video game. Kids are fuckin’ stupid.

    https://youtu.be/_1JiDCTYnV0?t=19m32s

  • bassbait

    Can you actually name some examples of people stealing his commentary/review style? I’m curious. I’ve been one to binge watch youtube reviews since before Mike even did them, and honestly most people I watch aren’t derivative of Mike in the slightest, and those who are, only take light inspiration and make it clear that Mike is their inspiration from the get-go.

  • Bubs

    I was watching this one review show, I think the one guys name was Robert Ebert, and the other guy was Richard Raper or something. But they completely ripped Mark and Jake off. Stole their whole concept.

  • instant relief

    Childhood does that to ya.

  • bassbait
  • bassbait

    Oh you mean the guys from Godzilla 98?

    http://puu.sh/kNGnd.jpg

    HitB is a rip off of Roland Emmerich. It’s all so obvious now!

  • instant relief

    He can’t move over, ’cause he’s dead, ya prick!

  • Bubs

    Yeah, that guy. But when I saw him, his jaw bone had fallen out and rolled across the floor like a loaded die. It made him look like a halloween mask that had been hung up on a hook for a few years.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yeah it’s called a Steamroller…

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    You said that I didn’t.
    I like south park. It’s known “good” crappy animation. And of course you thought my portfolio was lacking (hardly biased here are we?).
    I accept you critique, but the fact is my bills will continue to be paid from my artwork, lots of people enjoy it lots of people don’t.
    I’m respected in my field and when it comes down to it that’s all anyone can ask for.
    So Bubs, “Jog on” as they say in Britannialand…

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    “Doesn’t look as good as mine. Sucks.”

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    That I agree with!

  • Bubs

    Yeah the animation with the leeches being pathed along b-splines must have Pixar knocking down your door. Art. House. Brilliance.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    That is inspired by M.C. Escher, done 16 years ago on 3dStudio Max 2.0 on a dual 450, with 250 gigs of RAM. It was very popular in the late 90’s rave scene. Think what you will..

  • Bubs

    You’re using a 16 year old animation in your portfolio? Holy balls. Why would you do this? Who is going to see that and say “I must hire him. He’s experienced with software from the late 90s.”

    Also, your computer had 250 gigabytes of ram? I don’t even think the international space station has that much.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Sorry mbs of RAM. Actually yes the website is not a portfolio as much as a website. Your petty attacks are wearing thin though.
    I stated why I didn’t like the animation presented here.
    My issues are valid.
    Bubs, what don’t you understand about the fact that I get contracts all of the time, people love my art and animation and I have connections to Hollywood.
    I’m making my website by hand from scratch by myself with HTML 5, which means that I have to create my own videoplayer with code, then make sure that the MIME types are correct on the server which is hosting my site (which they are not). So I’m using the tapeworm animation as a test of sorts, but I still will showcase the worm animation.
    It’s a finished ambient animation and it still holds up design-wise, because Escher is a very neutral type of eye-candy.
    Post some of the stuff you’ve done Bubs, I’m interested in seeing why you take up space here on earth..

  • Bubs

    I made THIS masterpiece. http://ilovebitdefender.itch.io/pac-rich

    But seriously, I’m not here to measure dicks with you. I don’t care if you have connections with the Vatican. I don’t understand how this portfolio lands you jobs, but I’m glad it does. And I really wish you all the best in your career.

    I just wanted to have a serious discussion about the quality of this animation – a discussion which your hubris completely prevents you from having. You believe that an animation which someone worked hard on has no artistic value whatsoever. You failed to provide a cohesive argument beyond, “Because mine is better.” You don’t seem to understand in how many ways this is incorrect. English either does not provide enough words for me to explain properly how wrong you are, or your ego prevents you from understanding them. I’m not sure which. Either way, I think this discussion is fruitless.

    Oh, and in answer to your last question, I take up space so that I can eat Fritos, masturbate to beastility, and live off the government teat.

  • Mike B

    A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy…

    ugh, the hell if I know. He’s making his own things now I guess.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Bubs

    See you in 90 minutes.

  • Like Icare

    Anyone planning to watch Bridge of Spies? Meeh… don’t.

    Well, at least not in theater. It’s a one-time watch on a lazy weekend afternoon at best.
    It’s not a spy or cold war movie by any aspect of it other than the topic.

    Imagine a movie about spies from the angle of their tax attorneys.
    Now imagine a movie about cold war from the angle of a completely disinterested party. Like people in some tribe in some jungle somewhere. A lost tribe of tax attorneys.
    Add melodrama and some jabs at American government, US Constitution as the Bible of *FREEEEEDOM* and how gubermint is full o’ them bureaucrauts and don’t care about the little guy – then some wallops at how it was still WAAAAAAAAAAAY wurst in East Germany (and boy do they need to learn to call their country something short and sweet… like The United States of America)…
    So by the end it feels like a goddamn propaganda piece.

    There’s a scene when Hanks’ photo is all over the papers as he is defending a godless commie baby-eatin cat-fuckin dog-molestin spy – and there’s this fat woman on the train giving him judgmental looks.
    “How could you Tom? He fucks cats and eats babies. How COULD you defend him? Do you fuck cats too? They’re only cats Tom. How can you?” – her eyes say.

    The movie ends with him on that same train, but now he’s a hero, bringin R boys home. And his photo is in the papers, and the same fat woman is now looking up at him with a smile on her face.
    “Good job Tom.” – her happy cow eyes say. “Good thing you saved that cat fucker commie and exchanged him for R boys. You’re not so bad. For a cat fucker.”
    Seriously… what’s the message there?

    People only like you if it suits them and their ideas about the reality, and they don’t give a fuck about your moral principles and the law – so if you want to be accepted MAKE SURE TO PLEASE EVERYONE, YOU HEAR!?
    AND TOE THAT LINE!
    CAT FUCKER!

    Besides that… the entire second half of the movie drags ooooooon.
    There is nothing of interest in the negotiations, there are a LOT of pointless scenes with pointless characters (some as an attempt at humor I guess) and all those micro-moments with US guys that are being traded could just as well not have been there for all the interest they create about those characters.

    Oh… Those scene are there to MAKE you care… mostly by telling you that you should care.
    While all the while movie shows you that no one really cares about those people – other than Hanks. Who actually only shows real care about his spy guy… and about the trade.

    He supposedly cares about the student cause… well… a guy working for him (and maybe schtupping his daughter behind his back – that particular plot point is never resolved, just like that one about Tom’s little son and how he learned not to fear the bom and drained the bathtub) – is about the same age.
    And that’s it.

    It’s a bring your own care kinda movie.

    If you’re a fan of Hanks or Spielberg and would watch one reading a phone book for 15 hours while the other one films that – good for you.
    If you have some unresolved issues about the cold war or can’t decide if you hate Russians or Americans more – good for you too (getit??).

    Other than that… Hanks holds the movie together. He’s a fine actor, no surprise there.
    But the weirdest part was that at some point… Amy Ryan started looking sexy to me.
    And she’s a tad older and depending on your witch-watch either a witch or a grandma – and she ain’t no, nor was she ever, Monica Bellucci. Or Joan Severance.
    If you know what I mean, nudge-nudge wink-wink, say no more…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Call it, Friendo. Remember when that was a thing?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Ok Bubs. I’ve said my piece.

  • tOmy`

    “A lost tribe of tax attorneys.”

    Dibs on the band name.

  • Like Icare

    When I was a kid I thought that cartoons longer than 5 minutes were a rare and special thing.
    After seeing an announcement for this I came running to my sister informing her that they’ve made ANOTHER ONE.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqAksFdiKzo

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    your Shakespeare gives me a boner…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    When I was a kid I always thought all TV was live. So when you’re watching a rerun the actors just perform it live.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thanks for spoiling, you asshole.

  • Like Icare

    It’s too long.

    If this movie taught me anything it is that things need shorter names.
    Like “an egg” or “Germany” or “a guy”.

  • Like Icare

    Well at least I don’t fuck cats.

    And by cats I mean Felis catus, not “pussy” or ’70s slang for “a guy”.
    No, I don’t fuck guys either.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Or fuck dead people in Milwaukee

  • Like Icare

    Well, dead are already fucked. Even in Milwaukee.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is Beasts of No Nation worth watching? It’s Netflix’s first movie and there is Oscar buzz.

  • Like Icare

    Are you into sexy African children? I hear there are a lot of them in the movie.

  • Like Icare

    It was? I thought it was just Bardem not speakanero Americano very fine.

  • Like Icare

    I’ll be in my bunk.

  • Well fuck, now I need to torrent find a copy somewhere.

    Also… Associate Rich Evans?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sexy African children with guns turns Eddie Eagle on.

  • Percy Gryce

    *Shakesman

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m gonna see it anyways but I don’t have high hopes. Fukunaga saved True Dectective season 1 but his feature films are nothing to write home about.

  • instant relief

    Oh, boy, I’ve only seen this movie once before. WELL ITS ABOUT TO CHANGE, BITCHES!

  • Like Icare

    I thought he was all about “Stop!” and “Don’t touch!” when it comes to kids and guns.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That only applies to them touching the guns but not his guns if you know what I mean.

  • tOmy`

    However!

    When you shorten it to ALTOTA, it does sound kinda cool.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    See above edit

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Lots of people fuck dead people in Milwaukee…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Rich Evans and Jeffrey Dahmer

  • instant relief

    Reported for piracy!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t torrent or a beam is going to fly right into face like Raiders of The Lost Ark.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Pirated for reporting

  • instant relief

    Reported for pirating my privacy!

  • instant relief

    What about direct downloads?

  • TapewormBike

    “Dear Mom,
    I found the characterizations lacking, however the camera work was excellent at times. I promise to keep eating my meds. Love you

    Bob”

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I did not pirate your privates..

  • instant relief

    Reported for not meeting my expectations.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yo ho ho and a bottle of booze.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well if that’s the case we should all just report ourselves…

  • You fucking narc!

  • instant relief

    Hey, what do you expect me to do? Admit that I’m currently downloading the movie myself? I’m not that stupid.

  • tOmy`

    I see some negativity on this webzone today, so it’s time to do my job:

    Do you know why My Chemical Romance broke up?

    Because Gerard Way is an alcoholic and a drug addict.

  • TapewormBike

    I’ll drink and shoot up on that.

  • tOmy`

    Their song called Dead! should provide appropriate soundtrack for that.

    Hah.

  • TapewormBike

    Now back to Mr. Robot

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Thank you for spoiling, you godsend…

  • tOmy`

    But change will come to those who have no fear!!!!

  • Like Icare

    While on the subject of Freddie Krueger and Shakma…

    I’d just like to share with you an image of Freddie banging on the door – Shakma style.

    And by that I mean with his dick falling out of his trousers.

    https://bonzaimovieadv.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/shakma.gif

  • Thomas Hunt

    Earlier i commented that cartoon Mike looks like Flattop Jones. Upon further examination, however, I’ve also come to realize he looks like Frank Grimes.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yeah I’m an asshole today. I admit it..but you know opinions ARE like assholes, everyone has one….

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Looks like I’m finding a copy of Albtraum auf Ulme Straße tonight. My VCR tape is missing…

  • tOmy`

    “Opinions are like assholes and trucks in Kentucky. Everyone has one.”

    – The Good Book Of Random Police Officer, Justified Edition, Season 1

  • RLMkeepitup

    so when i fart my asshole is stating its opinion, maybe I’m thinking too deeply here.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes, yessir it does and no, no sir you’re not.

  • Bubs

    I’m not negative. I’m HIV positive.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Stay away from my asshole then please

  • Captain Turbo

    Or Grimey to his friends.

  • instant relief

    HI Vive?

  • Bubs
  • instant relief

    Shouldn’t they be HI Viving with their sphincters?

  • I was litening to this while looking at this gif. Syncs up perfectly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MKyOQU6EPc

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fuck the comment write above me

  • Zumby Slutts

    I’ve always wondered if the commentaries were worth checking out.
    Now I know not to waste my time.
    Thanks, RLM!

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Swell McFlexin

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Watch em and you’ll understand all the MacGregor’s syndrome jokes

  • Palpatine

    Oh yeah, that’s right, I am awesome.

  • Palpatine

    They just made a new one which I knew on what it’d be on.

  • Lumpy

    this was great. i didn’t remember half of this from the commentary

  • Noah R.

    I just discovered yet another piece of news that makes me ashamed to have ever supported GameStop.

    Today I went in to purchase a used copy of Far Cry 4 for my Xbone. I showed the man my ID and placed the game up on the counter. However, after a few seconds he noticed my younger sister was in the store with me and told me he would not sell me the game because there is a new rule that states everybody in the party must be ID-able in order for an M rated purchase to be made. This is stupid for obvious reasons, but holy hell, GameStop really not care about their consumers- or their potential profit!

  • RLMkeepitup

    if that’s true they’re really going to lose business. I see that company heading down the blockbuster path if models like steam and cloud service take off more.

  • Noah R.

    I know! So what, no more bringing on your friend/child/sibling to let them choose a game that happens to be M rated…

  • Noah R.

    I thought it was legit!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well as I frequent GameStop a lot, to get old crusty dirt cheap games on the old tech known as “disks”, I think that’s it, but as long as there are old moldy rotting “disks” to consume at cut-rate game junkie prices, they will continue their loathsome existence. I predict they will be around until…hell freezes over

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    You predictor

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes the commentary was entertaining..

  • Like Icare

    How is that policy stopping you from lying?
    Are GameStop employees now trained in telepathic arts or is there a
    sophisticated next-gen CIA-NSA lie detector behind a mirror somewhere?
    Also, how is all that stopping you from walking in alone with your sister waiting outside?
    Is he gonna run after you, and wrestle you to the ground to rip the game out of your hands? Doesn’t he know that Wookiees rip people’s arms out of their sockets for less?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What an asshole
    -Mike Stoklasa, year whatever

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *unsubtitled roaring*

  • RLMkeepitup

    I used to enjoy browsing the used bins there but mine closed a while back. you’re right though it’s up to the customer base. the companies already tried forcing online always consoles and got push back on that so

  • Noah R.

    I would have just walked out and back in without her, but I didn’t really feel like supporting them anymore 😛

  • Noah R.

    Pretty much.

  • RLMkeepitup

    seriously, just pick the lotto numberz

  • Bubs

    You should’ve told him that she has a very serious illness that makes her look younger than she is. She’s actually 27. Like Andy Milonakis. #MilonakisShaming

  • Bubs

    Sex Predator*

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Noah R.

    haha

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    They are trained in the ways of the force and are midichlorian junkies, they’re shooting needles full of the stuff! It’s insane…

  • Amontillado

    Las llamas son muy peligrosos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBaUmx5s6iE

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Love!

  • Domo

    So I guess putting a coat on her and passing her off as your retarded child won’t really work in this situation.

    It worked for Rich Evans and his Betamax. Not for younger sisters.

  • Amontillado

    Flint Ironstag

  • Amontillado

    Fuck it, I’m not even going to try tonight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41ZEanjORQI

  • tOmy`

    Press “x” to steal the game off torrents.

  • Amontillado

    I don’t even speak Mexican and I love it!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    So now Moon 44 is playing by Roland Emerich…

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I do and half of it is gibberish

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    …x…

  • Amontillado

    Por que mi corazon?

  • Amontillado

    In your head or irl?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    After the Llamas ended, it started to play Moon 44. It has music by Joel Goldsmith..

  • Domo

    See, you didn’t prove you were 18 to press “x”.

    Now GameStop will hack into your computer and upload files of The Careboars Save Christmas permanently to your desktop to punish you for your insolence.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    !No tu cerebro!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Fuck, Careboars, that reminds me of good times,..good times…

  • Palpatine

    Clever casting, I never would’ve thought of that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I had to resurrect his corpse.

  • Palpatine

    Just got done listening to the Nightmare On Elm Street commentary. Nice job once again Mike, Jay, and Rich Evans, I hope for commentaries like that in the future, *cough*Friday the 13th*cough*, so thanks!

  • instant relief

    I’m currently watching the Vacation remake with Ed Helms and I’d be thankful if someone shot me right now.

  • Palpatine

    How so?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s not a remake, it’s a sequel. Which makes it worser

  • instant relief

    Yeah, you’re right. Helms plays Rusty Griswold. Argh.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Oy Vey!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    So I’m working on “getting”:

    Ein Albtraum auf Ulme Straße 1

    Ein Albtraum auf Ulme Straße 3

    Ein Albtraum auf Ulme Straße 4

    Ein Albtraum auf Ulme Straße 5
    Do you think there is a German language commentary track from RLM?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It required a lot of cheeseburgers.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    MMmmm cheeseburgers….

  • RLMkeepitup

    yes, they can analyze kevin bacon’s mysterious swimsuit bulge everyone is confused about

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I still have to wait 20 minutes for Ein Albtraum auf Ulme Straße 1. Then I need the commentary track in German…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is it suicide inducining yet?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Get the bleach…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I ain’t talking to you. Road house.
    -Bowers

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Here have some bleach..

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s just your opinion

  • instant relief

    Aye. It’s full of jokes that wanna be provocative, but are just gross and random most of the time.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Did you know the directors/writers of this are writing the new Spider-Man film?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    No my asshole, remember..

  • instant relief

    I did not know that and now I’m filled with hope.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean pain. Hidden just under the surface.

  • Grackene

    adorbs

  • Grackene

    IT’s a remaquel

  • instant relief

    Are you a freudian?

  • Amontillado

    In the 12th century mongooses overran the forces of Charlemagne at the Battle of Avignon. After the initial invaders were rebuffed, Charlemagne’s forces were eventually overwhelmed and forced to retreat. While retreating, bitter cold nights and drenching days buffeted the French forces, all the while skirmishes at the rear of the army continued between Mongoose and French forces. Eventually, Charlemagne’s forces, exhausted and mutinous, eventually surrendered to the Mongooses, however, a last minute intercession by the youthful empire of the United States of America entered the fore. Punishing the forces of the mongooses, eventually the combined strength of the U.S and French forces won the day. Thus was born French Toast.

  • Amontillado

    I guess so, I have no power over that, despite what you may think.

  • Amontillado

    ¡Ay caramba!

  • Amontillado

    rofls

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hold on, how long is Holiday Road in the film?

  • instant relief

    It’s featured at least 3 times IIRC.

  • instant relief

    stfutruck coming thru!

  • Palpatine

    You don’t own the movie?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Gotta shove that nostalgia down your throat.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I lost my VHS tape. I’m not kidding..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    !Qué será será!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well it was a pleasant surprise. His movies make me chuckle and laugh..

  • Strelnikov

    Nein, mein freund.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    that was 15 years ago….

  • Strelnikov

    The “Albanian car” is infuriating if you know as I do that Albania does not have an auto industry.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Scheiße!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Ok, I know that today my asshole meter was at 100.00%.

    I will say that yes I can admire the animation for its completeness as it is an achievement to pull off 3+ minutes of animation so hats off to the creator of this animation posted here.

    To show my further solidarity I have acquired The Stick of Truth to commemorate (purposely) bad animation and all of the decadent joys therein…..

  • Wizard Phoenix

    FEGELEIN!

  • RLMkeepitup

    it’s okay. Mike n’ Jay don’t review animated films either

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I realized today that I’m a stark raving critic, too stark to ever be a successful critic I’m afraid…

  • instant relief

    Yeah, the were a couple of racist jokes like that throughout.

  • instant relief

    WALLEY WORLD! WOOOO!!!!!

    They even drive the same car as in the original in the second half of the movie.

  • instant relief

    You’re all doing it wrong, ihr Arschlöcher!

  • instant relief

    Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein!

  • instant relief

    Ja!

  • Strelnikov

    I think they picked Albania because the name is “funny.” It’s not really as much of a racist joke as it is pointless jabbing at a poor country. They would never do it to Jamaica (“Yeah, the car runs on weed!”)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Whhhhhhyyyyy?

  • instant relief

    After their car gets destroyed they they encounter a Chevy Chase cameo that rekindles their spirits and he lets them take the old car.

  • instant relief

    Yeah, it was like “Look at that weird eastern european car. They sure got some low standards over there.”

  • Niccageshair

    Lindsay Buckingham is no Kenny Loggins

  • Marvin Falz

    There needs to be a crossover called A Nightmare on Linden Street. Freddy Krueger meets Familie Beimer.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Why didnt the hack frauds tell us there is a RLM Nightmare on Elm St commentary track?

  • instant relief

    They’re afraid of fame, I guess.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I just started. is it good.

  • Marvin Falz

    They did on Patreon.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dont come back till you have finished all of it young man. or no dessert.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    i dont have a credit card.

  • TapewormBike

    One a day, Andy, that’s my speed.

  • Marvin Falz

    I use PayPal.

  • Red Skeleton

    Australia? Fuck, that Island kills its best.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Then i would have to constantly buy credit and top up my paypal. if they want my money I could post them some.

  • Don’t you have Kangaroo Express. AAAAHAHAHAAAA

    #aachachaaa

    #nevergetsold

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats the Post Office you RACIST TOAD!

  • Kirke

    I approve of this. Someone tell this guy he may continue.

    I was NOT paid for this review.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Because RLM wont talk about it. Here is my top 3 TV shows of the last five years.
    Utopia.
    https://youtu.be/01VGtX9xfh0
    Mr Robot.
    https://youtu.be/U94litUpZuc
    Orphan Black.
    https://youtu.be/do_BCA-vR9E

  • Michael85

    No one cares.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I know, the fun part is I don’t care that no one cares.
    The only real question is why did you care enough to comment?
    (P.S i can think of a few people here that care.)

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Holy fucking shit CareBores is gone!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?
    I need CareBores, I got brain washed from the repeat viewings….!

  • Domo
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thank Rich! I was Jonesing bad.

  • Yippie hurray AIDS! Christmas is ruined saved!

  • DynamixRo

    Pixar, watch out!

  • Red Skeleton

    But… but… how will mainstream audiences be able to see how far Mike’s come when he inevitably wins the Oscar for Space Cop!?

  • Red Skeleton

    Will you two stop saying ‘Fuck’!?

  • Don’t you just love Autumn? Everyone is sneezing and wheezing, it’s cold and dark outside. It’s also the time my self-loathing and depression kick in. In times like these even masturbation (be it literal and non-literal) doesn’t bring joy.

  • To win an Oscar you need to be at a certain party at a certain guy in Hollywood AND you need to pay lots of money to get on that party. I’m not exactly sure whether their Patreon pennies can cover that.

  • Domo

    I don’t know if you guys have snowbirds in your country, but I fucking love Autumn because the snowbirds go south for the winter. Driving becomes a peach!

  • Most birds do travel south for the winter but pensioners/retirees can’t afford that as they barely have enough for food and medicine.

  • Domo

    Speaking of depression and masturbation kicking in…

  • Red Skeleton

    Well, in order to get NOMINATED all you need to do is spend 12 years making your movie, so at least they’re on course for THAT.

  • I meant to say “to be eligible to win”.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    OHHHH! FUCK NO! you din’t ask dat.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Everything here is all flowers, hot and bits are on fire. Welcome to Australia. We have had 300 bushfires in the past month.

  • Domo

    I think Mike and Jay trying to film their Oscar poledancing process would be pretty hilarious.

    It would be like their Comic Con conventions, but betterer.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its far easier to let a certain guy in Hollywould to Cum in you… If you really want the Oscar.

  • TapewormBike

    It would it

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dont get me started… on either count.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    There is only one of me at a time. Due to the Blinovitch Limitation Effect. Two of me would just argue, its been proven.
    Just pray you never Meet “FRANK!”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    OH MY GOD!!!
    The Godfather just started on ABC. No ad’s… HD… i’m going to bed.

  • Amontillado

    But the leaves all look like they’re on fire. Plus, you can now sit by yon fireplace with a brandy in one hand, smoking jacket on, and stare moodily into the flames while brewing and brooding over some devious invention. Like total 19th century English gothic, brah!

  • Amontillado

    Frank, it’s alright, ssssh sssssh, only dreams now.

  • Amontillado

    It’s Mike-motherflipping-Stoklasa, you have to be a fool not to let that big cat into a party,

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    He mostly comes out at night… mostly…
    That and when i take LSD.

  • Red Skeleton

    Oooooh HELL no! I just say a Samsung Home Appliances advert where a mom finds a doll in the fridge. She asks her daughter “Libby….?” *eyebrow raise*. And the daughter says “He was being a bad doll and he needed to cool down.”

    ….

    Don’t you guys get it!? They ripped off the Grabowskies! Summon the lawyers!

  • TapewormBike

    My favourite season. I’m an asshole.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah… you do remember we all live on different continents….
    If there is no URL how do we know if its funny?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I like winter. generaly nothing is on fire… except the hobos.. “I can get you warm… just come closer to the fire…..”
    “Hobo BBQ!”TM.
    In cinemas this October.

  • Joe

    It’s really cool how RLM supports it’s fans like this.

  • tOmy`

    Same here.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    #CONTEMPT!

  • Michael85

    You do care that people don’t care or you wouldn’t have responded.

  • Michael Collins

    The Knick

    Are you cunts not even watching that?

  • Like Icare

    I actually kinda like it.
    Only things that bother me are smog and increased lack of oxygen as months go by.
    Autumn at least still has leaves and rain to handle the smog.

    Spring is also nice, and winter would not be so bad if only there was air.
    But boy are summers annoying with all that heat and that crazy sunlight time for most of the day. And fuckin birds fornicating since way before dawn.

    Particularly now that we basically have only a long summer surrounded by several kinds of autumn.
    That stuff does bad things for brain and body, with effects lasting for months into summer.
    Nothing like a nice undiagnosed prolonged illness in the middle of the summer cause your organism has been starved for sunlight and oxygen since October – and you caught something a while ago but the incubation period is ending now.

  • Like Icare

    I’ll just leave this here due to general relevance to Star Wars and movies and stuff…

    https://archive.org/details/StarWars-Music.by.John.Williams.BBC

  • Palpatine

    Autumn is probably my favorite season.

  • Palpatine

    Anyone have any suggestions for future RLM commentaries?

  • Palpatine

    Sounds like a serial arsonists paradise.

  • tOmy`

    Matrix: Revolting. Or whatever was the title.

  • tOmy`

    I already had to set aside reading and any form of sex life just to keep up with at least some of the shows. Too much good stuff, not enough time.

  • TapewormBike

    Redialed, I think

  • Palpatine

    So all of them?

  • Palpatine

    Spring sucks.

  • TapewormBike

    Based on that, I should be watching way more TV.

  • TapewormBike

    Slo Mo shots fired!

  • Palpatine

    Matrix: Retarted.

  • I’m not too fond of summer, either. I like early Autumn which is usually mild, like Spring but this year feels really dreary.

  • TapewormBike

    Serious pick would be one of yours as well I imagine – Hellraiser. And The Curse of the Wolf, with Len present.

  • tOmy`

    I do not approve of Matrx bashing. That movie is just pure awesome.

    Actually, the first one is the only reason I would ever consider watching the other two.

  • TapewormBike

    Dodge this

    Sploosh.

  • TapewormBike

    Best horror movie theme? Halloween is not allowed. My pick would be Lucio Fulci’s Zombi.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39szQy3TcH4

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Zombi is a classic. I would only watch an edited version with just the FX shots nowadays though..

  • #crayadorbz

  • Domo

    I just realized Rich Evans is holding the brown pup party favor as a gun on the loading page.

    This is so wrong on so many levels. I feel cheated and deceived by the marketing of this video.

    Just like with the marketing for Crimson Peak.

  • Michael Collins

    Scooby fuckin doo or somthin, what ya think?

    cunt

  • The Ghost

    This was precious. Well done.

  • Palpatine

    The theme to The Exorcist.

  • TapewormBike

    Tubular Bells is great, yes.

  • tOmy`

    Oldfield is the man! So glad there is like 80 versions of this track. It’s a perfection.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Alien or 28 days later is pretty darn good. I seriously loved the score from this year It Follows as well.

  • TapewormBike

    I was like “sounds OK for a theme”, unil I found out it was done by Disasterpeace and had to listen to the whole soundtrack several times.

  • TapewormBike

    Is it not a good fun with mediocre script? That’s how it was sold to me.

  • TapewormBike

    The second side is awesome as well. I will never get tired of him going “Glockenspiel!”

  • tOmy`

    Fair to say tho:

    That song wasn’t made for the movie. I am not sure how is it even called, because Tubular Bells are two songs that are over 45 minutes long. The movie used only the piano solo and looped it (and I think there are some edits to it).

  • TapewormBike

    I know, they had completely different score I think at first and then Friedkin heard it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    if by fun you mean predictable and boring then sure!

  • Palpatine

    The theme to John Carpenter’s The Thing is also great:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=meU2gAU7Xss

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Actually it was the intro. The rest is a cacophony of experimental awesomeness….that could never have been used in the Exorcist..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Cunt? Sounds cool, when did it come out? I have to check IMDB…

  • Red Skeleton

    There is no URL because there is no URL. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

  • Palpatine

    Am I the only one who likes the 1976 King Kong remake?

  • TapewormBike

    Ennio, the king

  • TapewormBike

    That’s the only fun I know!

  • tOmy`

    Oh yea, I know it’s the intro, I just call it “dat piano solo” because I am pretty sure it made an appearance on most of the Tubular Bells tracks.

    Speaking of Oldfield: He released this massive remix album like a year ago. It is worth checking out.

  • Niccageshair

    Force Awakens poster released today. A lot of shit going on here. Also is that ANOTHER Death Star in the top right corner. https://twitter.com/starwars/status/655775390691033089/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I was staring at it for some time and wondering if that really is a Death Star.

    Like an homage or something.

    Or shit. Most likely shit.

  • Domo

    I went in knowing it’s a Victorian gothic horror/romance film, but walked away feeling like I watched a forgettable cinematic dime novel.

    However, my husband liked it. He can’t explain why he likes it, though, beyond beautiful visuals.

    Be the cinematographer you were born to be, Guillermo. Stop writing films!

  • TapewormBike

    Beautiful visuals and sometimes hard to explain “heart” is what the bes Del Toro movies have.

  • Niccageshair

    By the symbols on it, It appears the rebels are using it as a base or some shit like that. The poster is not this Empire poster that is for sure. It’s like they said “Instead of distilling the poster down to main themes, let’s just shove every god damn character and idea into it” http://imageevent.com/afap/wallpapers/movies/theempirestrikesback;jsessionid=jwhd3lvln4.frog_s?p=3&n=1&m=-1&c=4&l=0&w=2&s=0&z=9

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Autumn is awesome in Colorado, its in the 70’s-80’s and 60’s-40’s at night. Sunny and mostly dry. Can’t wait to ride the bicycle later..

  • Domo

    Yeah, and I will admit, I don’t love Guillermo’s work very much. In some interview, Guillermo said he wanted the film be about love where sex is taboo, because current society is the exact opposite, I think?

    However, whatever he was trying to accomplish, I felt he failed a bit. The murder mystery part was really predictable, the complicated love story didn’t feel terribly strong in a Victorian sense, and the climatic plot twist was straight out of M. Night Shyamalan’s playbook.

    It’s a beautiful film, but the great visuals don’t make up for a lackluster story.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Maybe they bought the rights to use it from RLM? Probably not but they could have…

  • TapewormBike

    I love the guy though from what interviews and lectures I saw.

  • Palpatine

    The Star Wars fan in me wants to like it. But the RLM fan in me wants to hate it.

  • Niccageshair

    At this point it’s like all anyone in this universe can think to do is build a god damn death star. Unless there’s a scene where someone goes “well we boarded up that exhaust port this time” It doesn’t seem worth it.

  • Domo

    Yeah. I saw the behind the scenes Hobbit stuff where Del Toro was doing conceptualization, and he truly loves what he does.

    With Pan’s Labyrinth, the visuals and story work beautifully together. They complement each other so well. I could see what he wanted to do with this film, but as a person who really likes Victorian novels, this was just such a letdown on so many levels.

    Oh well. But maybe go see it because my husband likes it. Whatever floats your boat!

  • Domo

    Maybe the Rebels are building a Life Star.

    Nobody thought of THAT before!

  • RLMkeepitup

    if the poster is that much of a cluster, let’s hope the movie isn’t.

  • tOmy`

    Well, I remember that one of the first “leaked” “information” were about a weapon capable of destroying galaxies.

    I really hope that was just some random bullshit, because if that is indeed the truth, I have no words.

    I actually made a small deal with myself: The moment I see either a Death Star or a weapon that can destroy galaxies, I am leaving the theater,

  • tOmy`

    There should have been a “dense” in there somewhere.

  • RLMkeepitup

    its so dense , I can’t tell who that is behind harrison. is that fischer?

  • Palpatine

    And “poetry”.

  • Palpatine

    I believe so. Yet Mark Hamill is strangely absent.

  • Domo

    Maybe Unicron and the rest of the Decepticons hook up with the Dark Side, because cookies!

  • tOmy`

    Maybe he is the black guy.

  • Domo

    What’s behind and to the left of R2-D2?

  • Amontillado

    Well wahtever you call the one eyed snake and nocturnal emissions is your own business. But seriously Doc, you ain’t taking nearly enough LSD.

  • RLMkeepitup

    he must be because him not having a lightsaber would be sad

  • Amontillado

    Tea is bullshit. Coffee is where it’s at.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, so here is the orb thing about the poster: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxOD1i7hraM&feature=youtu.be

    This makes me both very depressed and very, very angry.

  • tOmy`

    And Wookiepedia says that Starkiller is actually a guy.

    Well, fuck this, back to work.

  • Palpatine

    Oh my God, what is that little alien thing standing next to R2?!

  • tOmy`

    That’s Harrison Ford.

  • RLMkeepitup

    this is the real question. and hopefully the stormtroopers on both sides thing doesn’t get too confusing for my old simple mind.

  • Niccageshair

    Yoda’s long lost son who will engage in a 45 minute lightsaber with Kermit the frog.(I would kind of be OK with this)

  • Domo

    If that’s a child, then Jake Lloyd will finally get some of the Star Wars pressure off of him.

  • Niccageshair

    At least Oscar Issac will be good no matter what. He’s like a modern Gene Hackman(Good in everything).

  • tOmy`

    How am I hearing about planet destroying thingy just now? Am I the only one that missed “rumored Starkiller”?!

    ARE YOU LYING TO ME?!

  • Palpatine

    It looks annoying and racist!

  • RLMkeepitup

    i think that was luke’s name in older scripts too.

  • Domo

    When I realized Oscar Isaac was in Drive, I immediately thought “Oh! The one guy in that film that’s sexier than Ryan Gosling!”

  • Niccageshair

    I’ve ignored most things about it unless it’s a poster or a trailer because they don’t tell you anything and are made to make the movie look good. Ignorance is truly bliss.

  • Palpatine
  • Palpatine

    Preach it, brother!

  • tOmy`

    Well, apparently, there is indeed a “rumored base capable of destroying planets”, that is called Starkiller and it should “destroy stars”.

    Yes. Let that logic sink in for a while. This is what middle finger feels like, right?

  • Niccageshair

    You have to make time for tea. Seems like it’s a little needy.

  • Niccageshair

    He is fantastic in Drive and it’s a sexy cast all around.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s so dense. literally this shitshow is overcrowded.

  • RLMkeepitup

    another jar jar sympathizer, send him to the planet core

  • Palpatine

    And there’s an annoying looking alien on the poster! I’m, getting, pissed!

  • Niccageshair

    I’m assuming this Starkiller will be shaped like a giant cock and blast the audience directly in the face?

  • tOmy`

    Its ultimate power is a LENS FLARE BEAM that makes Stormtroopers black.

  • Domo

    I was gonna bring a poncho to watch the Star Wars movie anyway in case the fanboys cum uncontrollably everywhere.

    So I’m set either way!

  • Niccageshair

    It’s a sad day for cinema when you have to prepare for a movie the same way as a Gallagher show.

  • tOmy`

    Yea. There are 12 characters. And all of them look like iPods.

  • RLMkeepitup

    they’re supposed to look like the toys they were designed after

  • Niccageshair

    Fisher and Ford look like an 8-track and Vinyl, respectively

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Just made a fresh cup of tea while playing Stick of Truth..mmmmmm

  • RLMkeepitup

    you have witnessed the “expanded universe”, your first look into a larger world ©

  • tOmy`

    Expanded Universe is actually a great thing when it comes to Star Wars. Because, frankly:

    Without it, there are 6 movies. 3 of those are shit. 1 of the good ones is considered kinda childish. And by now, the last 3 were also digitally enhanced.

    So hating on EU is pretty fucking stupid in general. (Not saying you are doing it, just a small sidebar.)

  • TapewormBike

    Well, obviously I shall go with the opinion of the otter of the family.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    and 90% if not more of EU is shit on par with tumblr fanfiction. SW in general is more about swiming thru a sewer to find a small nugget of gold.

  • TapewormBike

    And then there’s the cinephile douchebag vomit. That’s us.

  • Niccageshair

    I thought all EU stuff for any property was 90% fanfic-y. Most things don’t need to be expanded.

  • TapewormBike

    You take that back!

  • Niccageshair

    At least vomit was something nutritious at some point.

  • TapewormBike

    Lemme be the asshole boyfriend to you and say “It’s got like proteins and shit, baby”

  • Domo

    Doesn’t vomit shoot downward, and cum shoot upward?

    Oh, damn. I’m gonna need to wear protective footwear to this movie showing, too! Thank you so much for reminding me!

  • Niccageshair

    Poncho’s and ski googles all around!!!!!!

  • tOmy`

    Oh, I am not saying that all of it is good. But people think of EU even when it comes to games and so on. And let’s be frank, they were solid for a better part.

    What I am saying is that hating on EU for “being shit” or “ruining something” is not very reasonable. It’s just… pointless I would say.

    I am pretty sure that Clone Wars and Rebels already surpassed anything Prequel-y, despite being aimed at… well, I don’t know who… but you catch my drift.

  • Captain Turbo

    When it comes to nerd topics, never listen to a spaz.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    we didn’t choose the thug life,the thug life choose us!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    oh hell naw.

  • Domo

    Speaking of Star Wars, I think I have an idea of what the 100th Episode of HiTB is going to be! They were lying to us all along!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gv2_HTqWFHA&feature=youtu.be&t=23m32s

  • Niccageshair

    I thought is was going to be the 4 of them doing this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO82BzjPvFc

  • Domo

    Might as well do a mashup of your video and this one. They’re pretty much done with Space Cop. Might as well go all out.

    https://youtu.be/1wwilCs4Jqg?t=33s

  • Niccageshair

    So basically Flash Gordon?

  • Domo

    He’s the only savior this universe really needs.

    Rich Evans is just a nice bonus.

  • Niccageshair

    The oiled muscle guy throwing glitter is just a bonus to the universe.(Your video is fucking amazing)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    My planet core I assume he means planet core. You know like the center

  • Strong_Bow

    Good excuse for scanty content.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A Star Wars Marathon is going to happen. All films being shown in chronological order. Is it worth it even though we have to watch The Prequels again?

  • Niccageshair

    Nope.

  • Strong_Bow

    Just be like me and consider not the prequels as canon.

  • Classic HitB. Guess I have to watch the whole thing now. AKA. Guess who’s sleeping on the couch tonight?

    #mywife

    #aachachaa

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Disney is basically doing that

  • TapewormBike

    Or like me..and dance!

  • Strong_Bow

    I just saw a The Force Awakens teaser on CBS during the Bills game; Way to Go!

  • STOP THAT! Stop it with the crazy talk!

  • Strong_Bow

    I think the prequels are cannon; extended universe no.

  • Strong_Bow

    Has this already been discussed; there’s a new Nightmare on Elm Street commentary up?

  • Niccageshair

    Oh Domo the singer of this also did this(She is a well known and respected singer):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYpd-2buQc0

  • Domo

    And to think she became the muse for Phantom of the Opera.

    https://youtu.be/oZDcSrODALQ?t=32s

  • Strong_Bow

    Dee Be Dot Boo Boo! Just Pants!

  • Niccageshair

    I literally just posted something saying she is a well known singer.

  • Domo

    Ha! Jinx’ed comment further below! She’s a wonderful opera singer.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    yesterday. so basically it’s been centuries in internet time.

  • Strong_Bow

    Got ya.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    in my town theatre’s only gonna show the OT before TFA. Good on them.

  • Niccageshair

    I would argue Starship Trooper is the better performance.

  • Domo

    I would be interested to see which version of the Originals they would show, just because there’s so many versions.

    Then there’s the 3D versions of the Prequels.

  • Strong_Bow

    A black Jedi; aw geez, not sure I’m ready for that.

  • Palpatine

    How bad was it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Would it include the kid’s trailer narrator? HURRY UP QUI GON!!

  • Domo

    Glitter makes everything better.

    No, Mariah Carey! I didn’t mean that! Put away the butterflies, too!

  • It’s to appeal to the chinese market.

    #2015

  • Niccageshair

    Go Bills! (I know they are getting their ass kicked but I’m a bills fan)

  • dollar store cashier wife

    well we know for sure it’s not the unaltered versions. I think the worst versions came with the blu-ray a few years ago. Vader screaming Nooo at the end of Jedi took what was already the weakest movie of OT and smacked it with George’s CGI cock.

  • Niccageshair

    #BlackJedisMatter

  • Domo

    A chick who can’t handle a lightsaber and is stuck with a staff like Gabrielle in Xena: Warrior Princess? She doesn’t condone violence or something?

  • Strong_Bow

    #passivemicroaggresion

  • Palpatine

    What channel?

  • #getoutjew

  • dollar store cashier wife

    gotta get that highly sought after urban market.

  • Strong_Bow

    Now Now, just because she’s a woman, doesn’t mean she can’t handle a space-staff.

  • Strong_Bow

    #blackpeoplelikestarwars?

  • Palpatine

    Will he be doing stuff this time?

  • Strong_Bow

    Are they considered a Sith group yet?

  • Niccageshair

    And it’s way catchier than some dumb opera. Is it even opera if it is in English and not 5 hours long?

  • Domo

    It’s a cinema thing, like showing all 226 Marvel films before Age of Ultron.

  • Strong_Bow

    hence Ryan Johnson,,,

  • Palpatine

    Some do I guess.

  • Strong_Bow

    I think so; he’s in that boss fight against the bad Jedi with the perpendicular hand slicer.

  • Palpatine

    Are we really talking about Star Wars again? You know that shit stopped being relevant like 30 years ago, right?

  • Domo

    Don’t tell the modern composers that. They’ll have a hissy fit!

  • Niccageshair

    They are but they aren’t represented proportionately, of course.

  • Strong_Bow

    I’ve met many Black nerds; way more then you’re led to believe.

  • Strong_Bow

    *yet

  • Domo

    Shut up, younger Palpatine!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ba dum tsss

  • Niccageshair

    I’ll send Wagner to bitch slap them back to 1800’s.

  • TapewormBike

    I’m with you on that, Palpy. We need to be talking about A-HA way more!

  • Palpatine

    Who’s Palpatine?

  • Niccageshair

    Or at least Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark.

  • Domo

    He posted some address of some company a few months ago on the Internet.

    An evil fucker, that guy is.

  • Palpatine

    I just found out Palpatine is the Emperor’s real name! And apparently he’s the true bad guy in Star Wars. Darth Vader is a’supposed to be the real bad guy, he’s on all the posters!

  • Domo

    Plus no one wants to make a toaster with Palpatine’s face on it.

    That’s why Darth Vader is the true badass.

  • Palpatine

    Him being the bad guy was a let down, just like the Mandarin.

  • TapewormBike

    Let’s stop pretending, we all know that the best Jedi is the famous warrior monk Fo Shizzle

  • Did you learn anything about the game in 8 minutes? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tgkp-MaHHA

  • Domo

    Now I want a Ben Kingsley toaster, and I know it’s never going to happen

    See? You’re a terrible person, Palpy!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I don’t even have the energy to rant about this. But I can give a limb of mine in how sure I am what’s their verdict gonna be.

  • Palpatine

    Nope.

  • Crixxxx

    It’s good but Edward Furlong’s voice needs to crack more, and more scenes of Jake Lloyd beating his mother and being chased by police.

  • Crixxxx

    It’s the only way we may ever get any new Plinkett.

  • Strong_Bow

    Me Too! Tough being a Bills fan…

  • Strong_Bow

    It wasn’t too bad; they just showed the Black dude being a token Jedi.

  • Amontillado

    Seems like you need a shot of America cause you talking all French

  • Amontillado

    That Bryan Cranston, he has the manliest of cheek bones.

  • RLMkeepitup

    “I don’t know anything about this game”.. followed by a level of Meh that’s kinda mind boggling considering how cool the game looks.

  • Amontillado

    Star Wars, Star Wars, Start Wars, y’all need to take a step back from this and take a breather. Might I suggest Action Jackson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R27D23n-iPk

  • They are probably right about the twist. Some parts of it, the environs, felt like Bioshock. I’m kind of interested.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s not cool if it ain’t in 8/16bit retro pixel graphics

    That’s rule nr.1 mr.

  • At least Jack was into the story this time.

  • Palpatine

    Marty McFly is coming from 1985 on Wednesday.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ewwwwwwwww

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That Death Star thing looks like The Crucible from Mass Effect 3…any one…okay I’ll just be here.

  • Palpatine

    Can we not talk about Star Wars, please?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Okay, what about things inspired by Star Wars?

  • Palpatine

    So every movie made after 1977?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’ll be happy if I’ll never be reminded of that POS ever again.

  • tOmy`

    Maybe the movie will just be 3 hours of mining minerals and then have a disappointing ending.

    BA-DUM-EA

  • That’s a bold statement, Palpy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Or games or comics.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Piece of Shit?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    correctamundo

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You talking Mass Effect or the Prequels?

  • instant relief

    Pedophiles of Sith?

  • Did his kids become assholes or something?

  • instant relief

    Who ever said J.J. Abrams doesn’t show enough balls.
    #badumtish

  • Palpatine

    Hey, we’re not like the Catholic Church!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mining minerals is in Mass Effect 2. Come here! *pokes eyes out*

  • instant relief

    Well, Vader’s lightsaber extended pretty far when he got to murder all the younglings. Just sayin…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Was JJ Abrams the guy Rich Evans met at the minor league baseball games?

  • *gouges fucking

  • tOmy`

    Oh, right. ME 3 is the one with the color-changing flying tampon dispenser, right?

    What a value! I mean: What a value in DLCs!

  • instant relief
  • instant relief

    I hope he’ll wash his hands.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Pssst, the DLC involving the ending was free.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    that’s like those 20 minutes of deleted scenes from Prometheus-you can’t put a band aid on an amputed limb. ME3 has a shit ton of problems before it even arrived to bar none the worst ending ever put into a video game.

  • tOmy`

    It’s pretty sad that one of the possibly best games out there became a punchline.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yeah I know. But hey at least every other part of the game is pretty fucking awesome. Those last ten minutes nearly ruin it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Star Trek.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    JJ Abrams and Rich shared a foot long.

  • tOmy`

    Well, here you have the teasers: http://io9.com/the-force-awakens-trailer-leaks-are-now-here-1737200455

    And there is like a trailer coming tomorrow or something.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Gawker! *cat hiss*

  • instant relief

    Did they have a steamboat hot dog afterwards?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Put this wiener in your mouth”
    -JJ Abrams

  • RLMkeepitup

    Teases so short they border on subliminal. I haven’t been that teased in a l̶o̶n̶g̶ short time – cantina patron Ben Kenobi

  • Niccageshair

    Trailer debuts on MNF.

  • tOmy`

    I would love to know what the movie is actually going to be a about… you know, like… stuff.

    But I guess I am just an old fashioned cheerleader.

  • Niccageshair

    Gotta pay for that info.

  • Snake Squeezer

    *MILF

  • instant relief
  • Palpatine

    Everything in those teasers looks too real!

  • Palpatine

    That’s what he said to Daisy Ridley during her “audition”.

  • instant relief

    The colors look like they are straight out of PJ’s The Hobbit trilogy. Candyshop.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No he didn’t. He said to Rich at the minor league games.

  • Palpatine

    It doesn’t look bright and flashy and there’s too much practical effects.

  • Palpatine

    Did he show Rich his “Wendy’s ad”?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And his warhammer figurines.

  • Palpatine

    “I hate you so much.”
    – Rich Evans

  • RLMkeepitup
  • tOmy`

    So I am listening to True Detective official soundtrack for past two weeks and I finally stopped cringing every time any Lera Lynn’s song comes up.

    I think that the show killed her career.

    #LeastFavoriteLife

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s why you don’t talk to strangers, Rich.

  • TapewormBike

    You didn’t warn me about Episode 6. you monster!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That Daisy Ridley is a cutie.

  • tOmy`

    I am waiting whole day for this little moment, team Shayla.

  • TapewormBike

    Well, all I say is: FUCK!

  • Palpatine

    So according to Jay in the Nightmare on Elm Street, he was a stand-in for one of the actors in 2010 remake, and while on set, he chatted with Jackie Earle-Haley, who played Freddy, who said the original Nightmare was the worst film he’d ever seen.

  • Palpatine

    She is, but she’s no Bryce Dallas Howard. But since Daisy wears boots in the new film, I’m sure the SJW’s will love her.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    She’s probably a princess though. They’ll hate her.

  • A foot long dick?
    Ba-dun-tss!

  • Snake Squeezer

    is she even a mother?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I doubt this happen. How often do you hear I met an academy award nominated actor and said it was true? By the way I met William Hurt and he hates A History of Violence.

  • Palpatine

    Listen to the commentary.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t own the DVD.

  • Snake Squeezer

    use the force

  • Feel the torrent of power flow through you!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Can’t do that because of a mangatron.

  • Snake Squeezer

    they examined eachother’s warhammer figurines

  • Wizard Phoenix

    By the way I’ve actually met William Hurt. No joke.

  • Why won’t you settle for a mild stream, instead?

  • Snake Squeezer

    one day, eventually, he’ll turn into William Healed.

  • BA-AM IF YOU GOT THAT!

  • Snake Squeezer

    Oh yeah, stream it all over his face!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There is a reason he has that last name. He gave me a bear hug and was like being in a vice.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Miami Vice?

  • Inherent vice.

  • Snake Squeezer

    That’s the one.

  • Palpatine

    The IRL you?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Pretty sure they both got it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes I have.

  • I just wanted to use that line.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Sorry team Shay… I felt so bad when you posted that comment. because I knew this would happen.

  • Jack’s filled with sausage… https://youtu.be/G-nrTu6WLic?t=40m10s

  • instant relief

    I’d watch that for a dollar.

  • Snake Squeezer

    ♫ White Lines… Blowin’ through my mind… ♫

  • instant relief

    A mother of cocaine.

  • Snake Squeezer

    ♫ White Lines…. Blowin’ through my mind … ♫

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You’re right, what I meant to say was I get a perverse joy from the fact that no one cares.

  • Palpatine

    What happened with him exactly?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Worked on a play with him.

  • Palpatine

    Oh good, a stream with Jay.

  • That’s what made it enjoyable.

  • Palpatine

    What play?

  • Palpatine

    Would rather listen to one without him? You can always listen to Rich and Jack cackle like hyenas for three hours.

  • I hope he doesn’t say The Village.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t remember which one it was like ten years ago.

  • Like Icare

    I don’t even know what that means.

  • Like Icare

    If I had Ebola I’d send it to them.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Nobody deep inside that manhole. What should I watch tonight?

  • tOmy`

    Well, I spent the whole day watching this animated video on loop and I have to say I am quite porcupines.

  • tOmy`

    Jay works like a nice addition to streams, because he is quote often either mocking the games / steering conversation away from the games (and fans ask him questions as well).

    I do enjoy their streams a lot actually (although I haven’t watched one in like a year, so… maybe I was lying.)

  • Palpatine

    Do movies even play there anymore?

  • Snake Squeezer

    “The Fiend” is playing there currently.

  • tOmy`

    24/7.

  • Snake Squeezer

    ♫ White Porcupines… Blowin’ through my mind… ♫

  • Palpatine

    I thought it was a music oriented thing now.

  • tOmy`

    I think the only music oriented things that happened there were KIKIs and whatever gets promoted on Exiled as far as I know.

    And that is hardly more than… a couple of hours a week, max.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I have a bold new theory to propose… soon…

  • Palpatine

    I want to hear it now!

  • Snake Squeezer

    I want to watch something really realistic with no holds barred. Something like Sicario. But something I’ve never seen before.

  • tOmy`

    Rollergator?!

  • Snake Squeezer

    Yes. This.

  • Palpatine

    If you want to be driven to suicide, watch Nukie.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I’m a poor american gun owner. I’ve been suicidal for decades.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Did you know “JFK” is in Kevin Smith’s top 5 favorite movies?

  • Palpatine

    Why?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    So is Purple Rain… so?…

  • Snake Squeezer

    I have no idea. Seems a bit high brow for him.

  • Palpatine

    I thought The Empire Strikes Back would be his favorite movie.

  • Like Icare

    They look like cardboard cutouts. Or worst copy-paste ever.

    Still… They beat Hamill. Unless… He’s wearing a mask.

    I’m calling it now. The Nu Death Star is actually Luke Skywalker.
    Hiding in plain sight.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Watched Beasts of No Nation last night. Was decent. Honestly thought it should have been a lot more f-ed up. Wish Gaspar Noe would have directed it.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Have you heard his Prince story? It’s pretty great.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LhcParuzpc

  • Like Icare

    Speaking of Star Wars, how about an extra layer of pandering?

    http://wm6.walmart.com/Cover-Girl-Star-Wars-Collection.aspx?povid=1229472+|+contentZone1+|+2015-09-04+|+1+|+LN-Star+Wars+landing+page+S6+Covergirl

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have. I knew prince was a tiny crazy person… but that was staggering.

  • Amontillado

    Not surprised one bit.

  • Palpatine

    I kind of want to watch it.

  • Snake Squeezer

    “It’s 2 am in the middle of winter in Minnesota. Why can’t you get me a camel?!”

  • Amontillado

    Not to be a nitpicker, but Palpy, Snake Squeezer said one of his top 5, so Empire Strikes Back can still be number 1. Check your words brah.

  • Like Icare

    $29.99 at all Walmart outlets.

  • Amontillado

    Seems the force is growing weak in this one.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I’d recommend it. Wasn’t brutal enough for me, but I’m insane and like really f-ed up sh!t. To give you an idea, Irreversible is one of my favorite movies of all time.

  • Amontillado

    “No, no I want Dave Chapelle serving flap jacks on my next cover album. No Maurice, I will not move on this decision. flap jacks represent my golden personality and Dave Chappelle my crisis of identity.”

  • Palpatine

    How f’ed up is that?

  • Amontillado

    Caligula? If we’re talking manholes that is….

  • Amontillado

    Brokeback Mountain has some manholes too.

    I’ll let myself out.

  • Snake Squeezer

    You really have to see it to understand.

  • Amontillado

    Or The Crying Game.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Right now its 10 am in australia, and even here it would be hard to find a camel. and we are one of the world’s largest exporters of camels.
    Is he really that detached from the real world?

  • Snake Squeezer

    What Chappelle said about that on Letterman was amazing.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Do you export… blind camels?

  • Amontillado

    …I love you Philip Morris?

    …To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar?
    …The Birdcage?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Amontillado

    Have not seen and must check it out, thanks!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Sure give me 2 minutes and a pointy stick….
    We mostly export racing camels and meat.

  • Palpatine

    I just read up on it, and I feel sick.

  • Snake Squeezer

    But you’re so great at biding your time, Palpy!

  • Palpatine

    I don’t know why, but something about it looks too real. Maybe I’m just used to Star Wars looking fake as hell at this point.

  • RLMkeepitup

    actual props and sets. so far so good!

  • Palpatine

    They haven’t used that stuff since 1983! And don’t you Prequel fanboys tell me how they used practical effects. Okay, those model sets they used were for reference!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We’re looking at you, ColoClawFish, you piece of shit!

  • Palpatine

    And yeah, they used a puppet for Yoda in The Phantom Menace, but it looked like crap.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It was horrible especially considering the series’ history with magic muppets.

  • Niccageshair

    And holy shit is that a camera movement? Within a scene? Without cutting? JJ is just throwing out all rules.

  • Bubs

    Not even a single lens flair. No way JAbrams directed this.

  • Niccageshair

    Just wait till they get indoors. Some futuristic computer shit will be throwing up some major flares.

  • Palpatine

    It feels like an actual movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Two people are standing but they they walk away and the camera pans around. This is Star Wars, right?

  • Palpatine

    It can’t be. The camera has to slowly follow them while they walk at a brisk pace.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Someone is running like it’s exciting or they have to do something important.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    John Williams is now so old he’s now part of the Geritol Follies. So for Episode VIII who should replace him?

  • Niccageshair

    Ennio Morricone

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The man hates all film music nowadays

  • Palpatine

    Danny Elfman.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Star Wars? More like Star OOOOOooooooooOOOOoooo

  • Amontillado

    Coldplay

  • Like Icare

    It ain’t the props and sets. Prequels had actual props and sets.
    It’s how you film them.

    I have a bad feeling about this.
    A feeling like hundreds of millions of dollars are being poured into these movies where tens would make a better movie by forcing everyone to be economic.

    This is looking more and more like an attempt to copy Star Wars by concentrating on the material aspect of it – metal and plastic and foam and rubber and film and how many real extras can be crammed into a scene.
    You know… a Star Wars movie. Because it is all about the tech and the props.

    And references, lest we forget it’s a Star Wars movie cause there was no reference to the original trilogy for more than 4 minutes.
    You know… Like what Jar Jar did with Star Trek Reboot.

    But back to the look of Nu Star Wars.
    Things like that spin-around shot don’t belong in a Star Wars movie any more than 3D, shaky cam or orange-teal color scheme does.
    Back then cameras and lights and computer algorithms didn’t do that stuff.

    There’s a link down below I posted to a documentary about John Williams, his work and the work on Empire Strikes Back.
    Among others it features Steven Spielberg talking about “earlier” movies from the 60’s practically dispensing with music, equating that with realism.
    Chasing the social commentary, fearing to come off as too sentimental or too theatrical.

    Movie makers today are doing the same thing – only visually and not in an attempt at social commentary but trying to game the visuals because… box office.

    The whole orange-teal thing is so images would “POP!” more, so they would feel sharper and clearer and crispier. Of higher quality. You know… better.
    Because contrast means better when it comes to story. It’s like poetry.

    Shaky cam is an attempt to make it feel “more real” and to try to create the emotional connection with the audience by convincing it lying to it that what is happening on the screen is real.
    Same with 3D.

    Or that spin around shot which is there because…
    Hey, look what we can do. It’s like there is no camera anywhere. Like you are really-real there, in the movie.
    Don’t you just feel the emotional connection flowing?

    Like a pool of warm piss coming from somewhere behind you while you’re sitting on a bus.
    Or in a movie theater.

  • Like Icare

    Is there like a free online course for short posts? I think I need courses in that.

    Or therapy.

    Or a fork to the brain.

  • Bubs

    Nobuo Uematsu. A weeaboo like you should be able to agree with that.

  • Like Icare

    No. It feels like an actual scene from an actual TV show.
    Where they work with cheap digital handhelds with high resolution, but don’t have the skill or time or will to convey emotion in a shot.
    So, those characters look confused. Like they’ve forgotten their lines. Or like they’re not sure what they are supposed to be doing in that shot.

    What ARE they doing there? What is their relation to each other? What are they thinking and feeling in that shot? Do we care about them? Should we? They don’t seem to.

    But hey… Camera spun around them. Wasn’t that awesome?
    It’s almost as if you are right there in the middle of it all.
    That must mean it’s good, right?

  • Like Icare

    They replace him – franchise dies. Mark my words. Or Hamill them. Whatever.
    Williams has been keeping those movies in one piece.

    Remember that uplifting Superman theme – by Hans Zimmer?
    Yeah… THAT.

  • Niccageshair

    I’d like to change my answer to Merzbow, just the sound to capture Disney’s vision :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AguPH0XBxdw

  • Like Icare

    The man just wants an Internet of Things to become a reality.
    Is that too much to ask?

  • Niccageshair

    You’re right those 15 seconds of a two hour movie are complete shit.

  • Palpatine

    Are all your comments paragraphs?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about Michael Giaccihono or whatever?

  • instant relief

    Did a decent job with the Star Trek reboot score IMO.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I do expect it to have all those modern film style things but I’m optimistic the movie could be cool. Sure they’ll reference… everything but these movies are a continuous story.. so I’ll allow it. Hell boba fett can even come back, I don’t care.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He won an Oscar for Up.

  • Like Icare

    Them seconds keep piling up with every new shot.

    And the director has a track record of being on my “totally fine with going to jail for putting him in a coma ward” list.
    Seriously… It would be like a service to society.
    Think clubbing baby Hitler to death. Same thing.

    What I’m trying to say is…

    I keep getting these moments of “this feels wrong” from what they keep putting out about this movie.
    From various shots that don’t look anything like a Star Wars movie, Harrison Ford looking pasted-in in those posters, focus on toys greater than ever, pointless references to original movies…
    It keeps piling up.

    As for THOSE 15 seconds…
    They chose THAT as their highlight moment. If their highlight is complete shit…

  • instant relief

    That’s what schmaltz gets you these days.

  • instant relief

    Is that character from the Star Wars?

  • Palpatine

    No, that’s Gloomu Uptu.

  • instant relief

    And Ai Uehara? Isn’t she a bounty hounter, too?

  • Niccageshair

    If we are getting off-topic Netflix just added a bunch of Shaw Brothers Kung-Fu movies and they are fucking awesome. I would recommend Heroes of The East, Executioners from Shaolin, The Avenging Eagle, The Kid with the Golden Arm, and The Masked Avengers. All full of some crazy Kung-Fu shit and some great fight sequences.

  • Palpatine

    No, that’s Klagnon Mugufu.

  • Like Icare

    You mean paragraphed? Yes.
    It’s easier to read them that way and to covey information and ideas more concisely.

    They also tend to be a tad too long.
    I think I may have the same thing that Kevin Smith does.
    And I’m not talking about rectal fissure.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWZBGm_8G7g

  • Palpatine

    Is Riki-o: The Story of Riki still on Netflix?

  • Niccageshair

    I don’t think so but that movie is straight up bonkers in the best way.

  • instant relief

    That should be a drinking game: “Character from the prequels or japanese porn actress?”

  • Palpatine

    Aw, that’s a shame. And the film wasn’t dubbed in English.

  • Palpatine

    He was the composer for Jurassic World and did a good job.

  • Niccageshair

    None of the Shaw’s on Netflix are dubbed. I still don’t know if that is good or bad.

  • Palpatine

    At least your grammar is good.

  • Palpatine

    That’s amazing!

  • Niccageshair

    I don’t know there is something about a dubbed Kung-Fu movie that adds to its charm.

  • Palpatine

    Not really.

  • Like Icare

    Williams has been there from the get go.
    He probably feels and knows more about Star Wars, what that universe is and what it should be, than anyone involved in making those movies.

    Everyone else would be just trying to emulate him or outdo him (Good luck with that.) or trying to make it into something it isn’t because this or that reason, all boiling down to them not being John Williams.

  • Snake Squeezer
  • Niccageshair

    Very possibly the better movie.

  • Palpatine

    I will cry the day he dies.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Giacchino has been working very very closely with Williams on multiple projects. A protege as they say.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk yoooooooooooooooooooooouuuuu
    -Harry S. Plinkett on 2012

  • Wizard Phoenix

    At least he won’t join the Geritol Follies.

  • Snake Squeezer

    “If” we are getting off topic, lol. We’re off topic like 98% of the time.

  • Bubs

    You drew an awful lot of (biased) conclusions from a 15 second clip. It is impossible for us to know any of the information you’re looking for from a 15 second clip. I don’t care if it was directed by Alfred Hitchcock with Assistant Director Stanley Kubrick and a script by Orson Welles.

    It’s one thing to be critical, but you’re being ridiculous.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    RedLetter prehistory I’m unaware of? Do tell.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    That’s right, Sheeeve.

  • Like Icare

    Originals made an emotional connection because people working on them (even George) “knew” certain things and wanted to tell a certain story.

    And it’s a Campbellian myth kinda story, and thus one that is a spiritual journey – i.e. an emotional one, but shaped and streamlined into a philosophical one.

    Best parts about the originals are either purely emotional parts…
    Luke-Leia-Solo relationship, Solo-Leia relationship, Luke-Vader relationship, Luke-Kenobi-Yoda relationship…

    OR they are philosophical – The Force, Luke facing off the Emperor in a battle of minds, Luke being taught by Yoda to believe… even the background for the conflict between the Empire and the Rebellion is in essence a clash of philosophies.

    Last time anyone tried to tap into that emotional-philosophical connection it was Lucas in Phantom Menace.
    Only, not being that old George anymore, the one who came up with The Force, it all came out ass backwards.

    Instead of using the sources he used last time the way he used them last time, as inspiration, he went and basically tried to lift bits of it and jam them into what he made back when he was inspired.

    So… We got that “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate…” thing, and that thing about celibate love-rejecting warrior monks… who live in a “temple”…
    He went and tried to copy things from Buddhism – instead of using them as an inspiration, the way his younger self would.

    This new version though…
    All I’m being shown as “we’re doing it the way it’s supposed to be done – old school” are… things.
    Props and costumes and even a honest to god real film camera with real film in it.
    Things. Not emotions. Not story.

    We don’t even have characters yet – just people in costumes.
    Let alone emotions and relationships between them.
    And with the need to reference everything old too… there are tad… too many of them.

    As for philosophy… It’s right there in the (sub)title.
    They think that “an energy field created by all living things… which surrounds us and penetrates us… binds the galaxy together” was… well… asleep.
    Basically… Universe or God or whatever it is that makes things go – went away.

    Despite everything existing in some kind of beneficial relationship with it.

    George failed as he forgot.

    Jar Jar clearly never even understood what he was watching there.

  • Like Icare

    One can not teach one’s stepchild to love one’s mother the way one loved her.

    Williams is an artist.
    He can teach other people the technique, or style – but not the emotion HE felt to create what he did.

    Maybe Giacchino has talent… I don’t find myself whistling any of his tunes so I can’t say.
    But he lacks the vision Williams had of what SHOULD be in a Star Wars movie.
    The spirit of it all.

  • Palpatine

    Watching Beasts of no Nation, so far so good.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    True. But it will happen, man. One day we have to replace Williams. It is a case of replacing the irreplaceable.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m watching The Patriot for no reason.

  • Like Icare

    It’s not just a 15 second clip. It’s a highlight. A pitch.
    THE moment they wanted to show us to drag us in.
    “See? Movie is ALL like this.”

    Unless they are idiots or purposefully deceiving the audience about the product they are selling.
    Which I doubt.

    The thing is… that clip does not exist in a vacuum.
    It is not ONE 15 second clip.
    It is just the newest in the series of shots and clips and images and artwork that distinctively look and fell… off.

    Oh yeah. Those sure are Star Wars-like things in those clips etc. – but none of it feels like Star Wars.
    Remember that “Yo dawg, we heard you like light sabers so we put light sabres in your light sabre handle” shot?
    How about them shaky cam storm troopers from that same teaser?
    How about that ball toy because… toys.
    How about that flying refrigerator because more toys?
    How about orange and teal because now everything is made in those colors?

    And when it’s not “off” – it’s reference. EVERYWHERE.
    And they’re not even trying to “rhyme” them.
    It’s simply “Hey… Star Wars thing. Cool, right? Here’s another one. And another. And more. Sure feels like a Star Wars movie, right? With all this… stuff.”

    And I’m not speculating or arguing things not shown to us.
    I’m just pointing out flaws in what is being shown.
    Right now, it’s this clip.
    Just like those other things I mention were shown, and were “wrong”.

    And while I would not call myself biased about the director whom I just want to see dead, together with all his cohorts – cause he really is terrible and only way to stop him is to set him on fire and then put the remains through a wood chipper.
    It’s simple common sense. Like wanting to kill baby Hitler.

    Just because I think he should be wiped off the face of the Earth doesn’t mean I’m wrong about that clip or all those others.

    But don’t worry. Movie will be immensely successful. Might even rival Avatar. And beat Titanic.
    Poor George. Someone should hide all razors at Skywalker Ranch and start counting the cutlery.
    He might smuggle a spoon and try to commit seppuku with it.

  • Palpatine

    Cool.

  • Jason Ross

    #whiteshaming #africaforafricans #hakunamatata

  • RLMkeepitup

    finally watching xtro here. Just read the maid in the film (her acting debut) went on to be the love interest in The Living Daylights with Tim Dalton.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s directed by Roland Emmerich though so it’s not

  • Palpatine

    But it has Mel Gibson in it, and he’s always enjoyable.

  • Palpatine

    For a film made by Netflix, Beasts of No Nation was pretty damn great. It had Hollywood level production values, good writing and directing, and great acting, especially from Idris Elba as the Comandant. If you have Netflix, then give it a watch. Don’t expect anything happy though, because it’s a harsh film, and life is a harsh thing. Sadly though, I guess it won’t be long until the Hollywood remake with Will and Jaden Smith.

  • Then I will watch it ASAP. Jaden’s character has the potential to get dark though. A militaristic and dysfunctional father should make a son go crazy.

    After Earth: The hunt for the Uuuursa.

    -Son, where ARE you?
    -Here, right here.
    -You were supposed to keep a look out for the Uuuuursa. *slaps face*
    -…I am the Ursa.
    *fade to black*
    *screaming*
    *Good Vibrations plays loudly*

  • No that’s Star Trek.

    HASHTAG: Star Wars slow, Star Trek fast.

    HASHTAG: Star Wars, trade negotiations. Star Trek KAAAAAAHN!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s kinda weird how they flipped around.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Starkiller was Luke’s original name. Then they used it for the main character in the Force Unleashed games. So, the only real reason they retconned EU is because they wanted a Death Star that’s even biggerer and betterer, while also making a reference for them fanboys.

  • instant relief

    It’s gonna be great.

  • George Lucas is spinning in his money while Roddenberry is spinning in his grave.

    #aaachachaaa

    #deadguyjoke

    #guilt

  • Bubs

    Just got finished editing a trailer for my new game. Holy balls. Adobe Premiere is the worst program ever. Rumor has it, that it was programmed by Satan to crush the dreams of video editors everywhere, and to bring despair and discord to the realms of mankind. Time to go back to the drawing board, Adobe.

  • bassbait

    why does Jay have no beard in the thumbnail, but a beard in the video?

  • Bubs

    Two Words:
    Hack. Fraud.

  • bassbait

    I made my parents watch Samurai Cop. I had already subjected my mom to Things. Later I asked her which film she thought was more entertaining and she said Things.

    I was shocked. I also agree with her, Things is the best bad movie I’ve ever seen. Anyone got a “bad-good” movie that’s their personal favorite?

  • Bubs

    Here’s a short list of things a person can say at the end of a statement, to invalidate everything said before it, regardless of how intelligent or thought provoking it was.
    1. Namaste
    2. Thanks Obama.
    3. J/K
    4. lul/lel

    This has been another episode of Bubs Criticizes Everyone While Criticizing No One

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    That’s an astute criticism of modern-day communication trends, lel.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s a secret to everybody

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    5. LOLLOLZ!
    6. YOLO!
    7. Looking forward.
    8. “And that was when Christ entered my heart”(I would see a doctor about that.)
    9. But.

  • Red Skeleton

    This list is GREAT! ….. FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    A wizard did it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I liked it years ago. when i could afford it. has it gone shit?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I forgot that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog exists. I love that little guy. Thanks Obama.

  • Red Skeleton

    Well then this clearly bears reposting. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RGohIKxc9M

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I just watched it again! Brings back memories.

  • instant relief

    10. Heil five!
    11. kek

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes.

  • Like Icare

    WITNESS THIS!
    http://www.amazon.com/Wilton-710-5521-Silver-Color-Mist/dp/B005KTVG86/

    Yes. Reviews of it are exactly what you were expecting.

    341 of 356 people found the following review helpful
    Honey Baked Ham and $25 bath towels

    By

    Dan Gallagher

    on May 30, 2015
    Size: 1.5 ozColor: Silver

    Product was great, got me to Valhalla and all. Noticed alot of my
    mates who were using other brands didn’t show up, even though they were
    witnessed. So the product is great. Valhalla on the other hand is pretty
    weak. If you wanna use the pool you have to check out your towel. If
    you forget to return it you pay for it plus a restocking fee. What towel
    costs $25? Plus, the buffet is terrible and it’s pretty much all dudes.
    Ted Nugent is always playing and the closest Wendy’s is like 2 hours
    away. On the upside the whole place smells like honey baked ham. All in
    all product is great, Valhalla not so much. It’s like I’m at a resort
    built for Val Kilmer….

  • Like Icare

    They can always invest bajilions (it’s Disney now, they have their own currency and all) and get one of them IBM pseudo-AI machines to analyze his work (he did like 200 versions of that Close Encounters chime alone – Spielberg is a slave driver) and life and tastes… and then just have doing remixes of the old themes.
    Bah… Nobody will notice anyway.

    But their brains will!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    A lot of people seem to want to protect their eyes with style while icing their cakes.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You got it wrong! its things that make the post look stupid.

  • Like Icare

    As one reviewer said – it’s great with mother’s milk.

    I presume he used it for cookies.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Breast milk tastes awful, babies are stupid.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Jeanie Clay:
    “The spray made the cupcakes look like pee. I am glad we tried one first. Threw it away
    Very disappointed!!!”

  • Amontillado
  • Amontillado

    12. The baby is yours.
    13. Butt.
    14. 360 No Scope Noob 420 Blaze It!
    15. Therefore X, you argument invalid.

  • Amontillado

    When Jay is asleep at night, his beard leaves to fight crime and save the world, returning just before dawn, with Jay none the wiser.

  • bassbait

    Me too.

  • tOmy`

    “I read it on 4chan.”

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Obama is infallible. Criticizing him in joke-speak is assuredly a though crime. In all seriousness, what if Obama offers me a $20 bill or a cake? “Thanks Obama” seems to be the correct reply.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Rekt.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    top kek huehuehuehue

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Black Roses and Mutant Hunt come to mind.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I hear Jay’s goatee is really Mike’s merkin, and that it leaves randomly to keep Mike’s balls warm.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Wizard has enough body hair to share with the world, unless that world his scalp.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Does he affect an absurd accent like he did in Prometheus?

  • tOmy`
  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    RIP Plinkett Harry.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Used to be.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    7 Golden Vampires with Hammer Films was their finest work.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    now!? I’m about to go to bed…. FUCK YOU ROUND WORLD!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    OH.. and SPOILERS ARE A THING!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    https://youtu.be/4NZdggNUvq0

    while we are waiting.

  • Palpatine

    All in all, was the product great?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Jay(or a super rare apperance by Mike or Jessi)are the ONLY people that make the stream enjoyable really.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    MOS score was fine though. I’m not directing this remark at you but way too many utterly musically ignorant people say that modern film scores suck because there’s not many tunes that you can hum after the films ends. MoS was more like a disaster/alien invasion movie. It didn’t really called upon some hummable theme.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Groovy.

  • Michael Collins

    Star Wars-The Force Awakens tickets go on sale today..

    What?
    If all the tickets are sold does that mean we can’t ever watch this moopie?
    Can I make cash selling my ticket?

    What?

  • Like Icare

    I’m blushing here. Stop that.

    Anyway, it’s a work in progress.
    Which, as I’ve noticed, gives better results the more rested and relaxed I tend to be.

    I guess that means thinking and writing down what one thinks DOES require some effort.

  • Palpatine

    You can, you just got to torrent it or go to putlocker.com.

  • tOmy`

    Good to know, have to keep an eye on the midnight premier in my city, so I can spoil it for all of you here.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    palpatine’s behind it all!

  • tOmy`

    *Starkiller

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of groovy – seen new Fargo yet? I am about to drop in.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    hm? I don’t think it airs till tonight(in murican time)

  • tOmy`

    Oh, fuck, you are right. I am still on Justified biologic clock.

    And I “bought” the first epi again.

  • Palpatine

    Not if I do it first!

  • tOmy`

    Internet is gonna be one ugly place that week.

    But hey, I will be most likely jerking off to new Radiohead album by that time, so I won’t pay much attention.

    Are you planning on going to midnight premier of SW?

  • Like Icare

    It IS a fine score – as far as being professionally done.
    But it is not an appropriate score for Superman movies and more importantly – it is not an appropriate THEME for Superman.
    Oh… sure… Now that both Superman and Batman themes are abstract as fuck you can tie them together nicely – like they did in the trailer.
    Aaaand nobody noticed or gave a fuck.

    But back to Superman theme alone… It doesn’t work on several levels.
    First of all, drums don’t make us think of flying. At least not the way Superman does, gliding and all.
    They CAN work for wings… but not for gliding.
    But drums usually make us think of mechanical things, or marching armies, thunder, rain… rhythmical things.
    This is a good example of most of those:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCIrPJ6SBl4

    And all those associations are fine of a gadgeteer like Batman, flying and riding his various engines, punching people and his cape flapping in the wind and stuff.
    And he’s also a darker character so those deep rumbling sounds work well.

    Superman is supposed to be a fucking DIVINE SAVIOR booming at mach speeds and silently gliding at the same time.
    That “It means hope” needs to be in the theme – heard and felt by the audience, not told and explained through exposition.
    And the way he flies… he’s the wind.

    Put that together and it has to be pipes and organs and trumpets heralding the arrival of a GOD on the wind.
    But it is Williams’ genius that manages to make that completely understandable on a subliminal level without an ounce of threat in all that – instead it is playful and yet awe inspiring (awesome is no longer a proper word for that).

    And even in amateurish attempts like these… it fits almost perfectly.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta5NxNRkVts
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhJ8QKQ-fAg
    Cause he understood the essence of it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-3u5OLfnYw

    And that bit about “music speaks the word” that Donner keeps repeating – it’s because it does.
    You can sing “Is that a bird? Nah-nah-nah… Is it a plane? It’s SUPERMAN!” to the theme. He weaved that bit in there.

    The other reason why an abstract theme doesn’t work for Superman… he is already a metaphor of a divine savior.
    Abstracting a metaphor detaches it from the thing it represents.
    Finger no longer points at the Moon.

  • Palpatine

    I hope so. I plan to cos-play as Plinkett for the premiere. If it sucks, then I’ll spend an hour outside the theater complaining about it in Plinkett’s voice.

  • tOmy`

    Brilliant idea. Just don’t eat too much corn beforehand.

    I think I just wear (unfortunately, one of) my Star Wars t-shirt and a necklace of SW LEGO minifigs.

    I expect to get beat up on the way there, but no worries, I ain’t gonna bring my lunch money this time.

  • RLMkeepitup

    lol at watching Rich figure out the steam controller.. looked as painful as me trying it. Rich: “no button is working”. Jack: looks around suspiciously. They should have put a live help button on it for Rich.

  • Palpatine

    Do you plan to pay with a 666 barcode tattoo like in SOS?

  • Palpatine

    Watching others fail at games is hilarious.

  • tOmy`

    Yes. And not having any premarital sex during the premier as well.

    And that one is gonna be hard, so many… guys… and their parents… in… costumes. Why am I doing this to myself again?

  • Palpatine

    It’s going to smell horrible, I just know it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you should adore PreRec streams then.

  • Like Icare

    I’m not saying being rich is like being black… but it is totally like being black.

    http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/oct/17/wealth-therapy-tackles-woes-of-the-rich-its-really-isolating-to-have-lots-of-money

    Also, like being gay.
    And a bit like being more than just your tits and ass – which all that most people see in you.

    So… Being rich is like being a black, lesbian supermodel.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    there’s no album coming anytime soon mate. didn’t ya hear? it was all a fluke

    https://twitter.com/thomyorke/status/654777525063708673

    https://twitter.com/JnnyG/status/654752383252062209

  • tOmy`

    Jack failing at Modern Warfare was hilarious. That game requires like 5 buttons and a mouse (and I bet he played on Xbox with aim assist anyway).

    Then again, FPS ain’t for everyone.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    everyting’s hard when you have no attention span and outright reject 95% of games right from the start anyways cuz it doesn’t fit your hipster criteria.

  • tOmy`

    Oh yea, I heard. But if the “recording” is finished, all it takes is for them to say: “Fine, this is fine, this is not.” And just release it.

    If they pull off the same shit like before, recording whole album and then ditching it to record something else, I am suing someone.

  • tOmy`

    Fair to say: I love to see TotalBiscuit struggle with puzzle games, he is fucking awful at them.

    Those are the best reviews.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s not really fun watchthing some fail at a puzzle game when you actually played and beaten the game in question. I find it immensely frustrating more then anything. Then again TB doesn’t do reviews unlike these skinny fat fucks.

  • tOmy`

    I just love watching the screen and just thinking to myself:

    “No, no, you are doing it wrong! It is soooo obvious! You have to put this in… yes… no! NO!”

  • tOmy`

    Where is that Star Wars trailer for fuck sakes… Is Disney in America or something? I am fairly sure that the castle is in Switzerland.

  • RLMkeepitup

    wait I thought one of the perks to being rich was that you could isolate yourself from everyone else.. why waste time waiting in lines or sharing space?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    When will RLM do a commentary on Spider Man 3?

    I mean…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DocHKSaceM

    c’mon. the jokes write themselfs.

  • TapewormBike
  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I will! Have you hear Jam and Spoon Oldfeild remixes. They older now but still awesome

  • TapewormBike

    Then you’re gonna love me

  • Palpatine

    Do Rich and Jack laugh like hyenas every time they screw up?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Watch Joaq in the chat of this video make nothing but RLM references

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QRsFIh62Gc

  • tOmy`

    There are actual countdowns to this? Can we stream it at the ManHole and just kill ourselves?

  • TapewormBike

    Oh for fuck’s sake.

  • Yes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s easy. Also Rich Coplowski’s favorite movie is in the chat.

  • Palpatine

    Hey dscw, is this what Pre-Rec streams are like in a nutshell:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ONFi8N2FQsc

  • Palpatine

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s gonna be great

  • dollar store cashier wife

    in more ways then one yes.

  • They really do sound like Jack and Rich.

  • Palpatine

    THE EPISODE VII TRAILER IS HERE:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8KdQ7Gig770

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey this ain’t the sub reddit!

  • These men are pawns.

    *yawn*

  • tOmy`

    Tapey, dude, if you wanna reserve midnight premier tickets, I would do it ASAP. Our local cinema is almost sold out for 2D + subs

  • tOmy`

    Okay, so the stream for… that Star Wars thing… is on over at the ManHole. Come get depressed!

  • TapewormBike

    I’ve already told Omi that I sorta don’t give a fuss (oh wait, you can swear here)…don’t give a freak. And all the circus around it is making me care less and less.

  • tOmy`

    STOP PRETENDING!

    ITS STAR WARS.

    No, I… I seriously bought two already. I am… I am feeling very… odd.

  • TapewormBike

    If you thought that you gonna need an extra seat for your balls, that act made sure you won’t.

  • tOmy`

    I am gonna sell it for extra margin of 40 crown, ensuring me a… small size popcorn? I assume? Maybe not even that.

  • TapewormBike

    Spoken like a true capitalist.

    That’s a reference.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I wish PaKent was still here so he could slap your butt cheeks for being so excited for this shameless cash grab.

  • TapewormBike

    I kinda wanna do that just cause.

  • Niccageshair

    Please tell me this movie has a 45 minute fistfight between Vincent Price and Gordon Liu because that would be the greatest thing ever.

  • Niccageshair

    Get your lotion and tissues cause it’s gonna get messy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The new Star Wars poster has so many things going on.

  • tOmy`

    Excited? Nah. But if I am gonna see it, I wanna see it on midnight, in 2D with fucking subs.

    And something tells me that without reservation, it’s impossible. Plus, midnight premier has that nice cool vibe and makes for a nice date with myself.

  • TapewormBike

    No point in cinema date if you can’t get your dick sucked. What’re you, Marylin Manson?

  • Niccageshair

    Honestly that is best part of that movie. The doors opening by themselves is fantastic, it’s so goofy.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    absolutely. it’s pure comedy gold.

  • Niccageshair

    They are probably waiting till it debuts on Monday Night Football tonight to release it all over everyone’s faces.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the trailer should have all 6 previous movies playing at the same time plus random new shots of recycled fresh imagery

  • Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

  • capitandelespacio

    So dense…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Every single

  • Niccageshair

    I would go so far to say both Amazing Spiderman movies needed scenes like this.

  • Palpatine

    What’s wrong with your face?

  • tOmy`

    Ok, so I apparently don’t understand how to buy a fucking ticket to cinema. Sigh.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Han and Leia look like they don’t belong in the poster. So much for this movie being original. I’m afraid we’re in for Star Wars: Attack of the Callbacks.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Han’s been doing The Osteoporosis Dance.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Han and Leia are now part of the Geritol Follies

  • Like Icare

    That’s indirect shaming of a very small (about 1%) minority.

    Check your privilege there. You insensitive majority peasant.
    #richcry2 #minorityUSA #lonelyONtop #OhLordWontUbuyMeOhWaitIhaveThatAlready

  • Like Icare

    Episode 7 – Reference References Referencing

    #ItsLikePoetry #GRRREAT!

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, it’s called Courscant Follies.

  • tOmy`

    FUCKING CHRIST WOULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME IF THAT ORDER WENT THROUGH? NOT LIKE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR PAST DECADE.

    #CustomerService2015

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They’ll be playing their kind of music

  • Palpatine

    It’s like buying a ticket to a concert.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Annoying and takes forever

  • tOmy`

    Yea, but when you buy a ticket to the concert, there is an actual “buy” button – here is just confirm, no card data to be inserted and then it just throws you into “pick more movies” and doesn’t even send you a confirmation mail.

  • Palpatine

    It’s so dense, every single stanza rhymes with the other, it’s gonna be great.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fandango hates us. Don’t you know that?

  • singram

    So good! Congratulations to the animator!

  • RLMkeepitup

    they both survived the holiday special and are coming out of retirement.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Has anyone thought Rey and Kylo or Finn are Luke’s kids and not Han and Leia’s?

  • Palpatine

    Who’s the mother then?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t know. Maybe Luke is into black chicks.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, so their system just didn’t work. Marvelous.

    Well, anyway, I am set.

    @Tapey I assume you are going with me then?

  • TapewormBike

    Sigh. Guess you gotta get that blowie somehow.

  • tOmy`

    But no, seriously, dude. I bought two just in case – so if I won’t get a date or any of my friends won’t be interested, you are free to join, before I sell the ticket to some twerp.

  • TapewormBike

    I was thinking about setting up a two person RLMcon around Christmas, but as it is, I don’t even know if I will be home around that time. Plus, you gonna get a date, I’ve seen your face. Or was it a cock…?

  • Unless it was a joke, I think it was revealed in one Star Wars comic that Han had a wife – Sana Solo. http://cdn.fansided.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/319/files/2015/06/sana-solo-sw9-cover-138439.jpg

  • Snake Squeezer

    Didn’t somebody do that?

  • tOmy`

    It’s the charisma.

    “Hey, girl! Guess what? Do you like fast cars, free booze and a kamasutra-like skillz in the boudoir? Well guess the fuck what! I have two tickets for midnight premier of Star Wars and I was wond- hey, where are you going?”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    ….well fuck. Thanks, you maggot.

  • TapewormBike

    I am out of the game for some time, but I believe that nothng gets them bitchez wet like when you put your hands to your cock and make a lightsaber sound. And wink.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Kittys Go to the Fair?

  • Palpatine

    Star Wars has had only five black characters: Lando, Mace Windu, Captain Panaka, Captain Typho, and now Finn.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Most of those where made to please The Urban Market.

  • TapewormBike

    Great animation, so funny, lol.

    What?!

  • Palpatine

    The Urban Market stole my TV, so I know they like movies.

  • Palpatine

    Beasts of No Nation would’ve been better if Nukie showed up and helped the kid.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    approve my comment on exile mr.funny man. this censorship is ridiculious

  • TapewormBike

    On it, which thread?

  • Amontillado
  • Wizard Phoenix

    The sad moment when I understand that reference.

  • Amontillado

    seriously look up the name for Star Wars jazz, it’s name is jizz, no bullshit.

  • Domo

    So we went to the movie theater to pre-purchase tickets for other movies and ask some questions about the Star Wars 1-6 marathon.

    Apparently, we’re the only ones who haven’t asked “When does 4, 5, and 6 start?” implying that most people want to skip the 1st 3 films.

  • Amontillado

    First you have to sacrifice the pony to the Kathlulu and then spin three times in a circle, all the while chanting: “The spoon is a lie, there is no spoon.” At that point the ghost of Harry Belafonte will appear on smile on you mortal, blessing you with movie tickets.

    Or you could just go to a ticket booth, or Fandango.

  • Bam?

    #BamIfYouGotThat

  • Amontillado

    All too easy

  • Domo

    Blammo.
    Shebam!

  • TapewormBike

    You’re good, cocksucker.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    More like sigh bam

  • Palpatine

    George must’ve thought he was being pretty funny when he came up with that.

  • Palpatine

    You’ve seen Nukie too?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the curse[d] one.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes, before the RLM video collection.

  • Palpatine

    Skipping the Prequels wouldn’t be fair to the special needs kids. They’re the only ones like the Prequels after all.

  • Palpatine

    It’s easily the worst film I’ve ever seen. And not in a so bad it’s good way.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Exceptional individuals.

  • Domo

    When pressed further, some people have asked when episode 2 or 3 start, but no one wants to see 1. Not sure if it’s because of the time it’s starting, or the film itself.

    We were the only ones, however, that have asked which version each of the films are going to be.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It could be the worst movie ever made. We often ask what is the best worst movie but what is the worst worst movie? I think Nukie is the answer.

  • Palpatine

    Why? Episode II is the worst one.

  • Domo

    I have no clue, honestly. We wanted to watch them because I haven’t seen them since Plinkett’s review of them, so it’ll be a fun take on them at this point, especially with friends and alcohol.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is Nukie the worst film perhaps made? Worse than Things?

  • Palpatine

    Can’t argue with that.

  • Palpatine

    Yes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Smosh the movie is up there. It is near Nukie level of bad.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The opposite of The Room.

  • Palpatine

    The Cinema Snob review of Nukie is what introduced me to it. I didn’t see the movie until recently though.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Still Smosh the Movie is almost up there.

  • Get that Plinkett audio commentary ready!

  • Palpatine

    Really, that bad?

  • Marvin Falz

    Yes, One video had all six movies playing at the same time in 3 rows and 2 columns and another one had all six movies overlayed. Seems to me that both are taken down by YT. All what’s left: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xfqpv43Wbe8

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh yeah. Worse than any Adam Sandler film I’ve seen.

  • Like Icare

    Don’t forget to first ask the twerp to answer what he thought about 12 Years a Boy and would it have been better if it was called Twerp.

  • Like Icare

    It’s hard to wink and make lightsaber sounds at the same time.

  • TapewormBike

    You have to be rubbing your tummy as well.

  • Like Icare

    Oh… clever. So they can claim

    “BIGGEST! BIGGEST! BIGGEST!”,
    “OPENING!! OPENING!! OPENING!!”
    “EVAR!!! EVAR!!! EVAR!!! EVARR!!! EVar! evar. eva…

    Maybe Space Cop should do the same? By the time it’s out it will surely beat Titanic.

    Or at least Tittanic.

  • Like Icare

    Will of the Force?

  • Like Icare

    And they say chivalry is dead…

    I don’t even know what that should mean.

  • bassbait

    If you go by what film is more poorly made, Things. If you go by which film is less entertaining, then Nukie. But neither of them are the worst movie ever made.

    Nukie’s got so many classic moments!

  • bassbait

    just wondering why you think it’s so awful? I thought it was great.

  • bassbait

    I thought Spider-man 3 was fine. I don’t remember any of the Toby Maguire movies super well, but I remember Spider-man 3 being messy and kinda disappointing but I didn’t think it was absolute shit like people make it out to be.

  • bassbait

    though it definitely felt like Sam Raimi being slapped around by the studio system. Too much shit going on.

  • instant relief

    Oooooooooooooh…

  • tOmy`

    Sorry, I went to a pub… is there a trailer?

    For Space Cop I mean…

  • instant relief

    Nooooo! Go back to the pub.

  • instant relief

    Will there a be a livestream of Rich masturbating to the release of the trailer? <3 Make it happen, RLMs!

  • LameSame

    Sitting through Episode I in a theater with the Plinkett commentary in your ears would be a great way to be both forced to pay attention to the movie AND be entertained. It’s like you’d actually be getting your money’s worth!

  • LameSame

    Exceptionally retarddeddd.

  • Amontillado

    Hey assholes, here’s a fun website to fuck around on for a while: http://www.definitelyrealquotes.com/?id=0_0

  • Amontillado

    “George, that’s the stupidest name you could come up with for a musical genre. Now let’s find something more serious sounding.”

    “I am being serious Steven, it’s called Jizz.”

    S: “Jizz?”

    G: “Jizz.”

    S: “I swear to god George, this is going to be a flop. Thank god we scratch the Jamaican accent frog thingy. That was the dumbest thing.”

    G: “I still think it would be the highlight of the movie.”

    S: “Of course, George, of course.”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    its sooooooooooooooon.

  • I love this, if only because this was my favorite exchange from the Terminator Commentary, and it’s nice to have a convenient and quick way to see it again. With some fun visuals to boot.

  • instant relief

    We can make Spritzgebäck while we wait.

  • tOmy`

    Wanna listen to some shit over at the ManHole?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    cant, I’m using my tea break to catchup.
    We are rounding up half the sheep to transport them 100km to my parents farm in the mountains where its cooler and wetter. El Nino is kicking in hard and I dont have much grass left.
    Who knew Australia was a stupidly dry place.

  • Niccageshair

    Well I have MNF on, a bunch of tissues, some lotion, and a lightsaber up my ass. Let’s see this trailer.

  • instant relief

    Gah, when is it gonna be released online? I mean officially, I don’t care for shitty cam footage.

  • Niccageshair

    Can’t kill a cross promotional opportunity by releasing it online. (As I type this they just ran an ad featuring Star Wars music).

  • Niccageshair

    They are releasing it at halftime!? I have to sit through a full half of the worst football commentator today:Jon Gruden. Damn you George Lucas!!!!

  • instant relief

    Oh, mai gawd! The teaser leaked online! Hurry up, Qui-Gonn! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70ceuNC1GTM

  • Niccageshair

    This trailer is pretty amazing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Amazingly horrendous.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    What?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    The movie was so not-fine.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Do you jerk-off to every track, each side, or just the whole album?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    You forgot LULZ

  • instant relief

    I watched it 10 times in a row. I has the best Star Wars imagery I’ve ever seen.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Nah dude you just gotta’ know how to use it..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Actually no it’s way better now, amazing I know..

  • Amontillado

    CAN YOU SMEEEEELLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gb1l09d6J1o

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Fuck, my brain….

  • Niccageshair

    The Rock is looking a little small in this clip.

  • Niccageshair

    It was the second-worse furry animal conflict since the Battle of Saxony-Anhalt when a Prussian force was overwhelmed by a battalion of 200,000 racoons led by the honey badger Sir Reginald Octavius Napoleon Ferdinand III.

  • instant relief

    Sure, let me get my brain surgery kit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Nb6hxh1G4o

  • bassbait

    Pretty much every superhero movie is dumb to me. The closer they get to the 60’s batman movie, the better. So naturally the best superhero movies are Spider Man 3 and Batman and Robin.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Shit I just sit down for a quick lunch and Star Wars jizzed all over the internet.
    https://youtu.be/HDhExRxZxN0

    Not sure if this makes me like it more or not want to see it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    FTW as well. lets just call it Both.

  • Palpatine

    That was fake you troll!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    you are no fun at all. Dont ever change 5 Stars.

  • Palpatine

    Everyone’s going to be mad at you now.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    nothing new there.

  • RLMkeepitup

    that was before his bane supplements arrived

  • Niccageshair

    So that’s why he wears the mask!

  • instant relief

    You shall be expelled from the jedi order!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • instant relief

    Back to moisture farming, bitch!

  • Niccageshair

    Well I’d never be part of a club that would have Yoda as a member.

  • Niccageshair

    Nothing but power converters for you.

  • instant relief

    Hey, watch your mouth! It ain’t easy being green!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Seriously, we could use a moisture farm around here.

  • instant relief

    Moisture farming sounds a like a kinky sex technique. I can run the farm if you want to.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Stop the Womp Rat Hunt! its inhumane!!!!

  • Niccageshair

    God damnit Eli (Am I the only one actually watching the game?)

  • Palpatine

    Who’s winning?

  • instant relief

    Trending on Twitter at the moment: #BoycottStarWarsVII

  • Niccageshair

    14-7 Eagles, Eli just threw a pick 6

  • Bubs

    Everyone who isn’t watching the game.

  • Palpatine

    What?

  • Niccageshair

    And on cue the Giants fumble it away

  • RLMkeepitup

    id watch if Gruden went full chucky for Halloween sake

  • Palpatine

    Good, I’m glad the Eagles are winning.

  • Niccageshair

    They are probably all just waiting for Indy 5

  • Niccageshair

    He’s already about halfway there normally.

  • Palpatine

    Part time.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I saw a video on that. It’s so extremely stupid on multiple levels. We should never talk about it.

  • Palpatine

    We should. I want to know why people want to boycott it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I know what is fake and what is real. You are full of vegemite and shit, Andrew.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No one is actually. Stupid trolls are pretending to boycott it because they think the film promotes “white genocide” just anger SJW’s.

  • Niccageshair

    Just remembered Disney owns ESPN. The corporate Synergy is making me hard although that could just be the light-saber up my ass.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They still don’t own a news network that is noteworthy. Timer Warner: 1 Disney: 0

  • Palpatine

    White genocide?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Genocide against white people. Now granted I hate racism towards any race but I’m not for making up bullshit racism.

  • instant relief

    Oh, boy.

  • Niccageshair

    Time Warner Cable News is the beast that won’t be stopped. Who needs up to date when you can have the same five stories on a loop for 12 hours.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I was referencing CNN

  • Niccageshair

    To each his own I guess.

  • Amontillado

    Just cause Samoa is part of Micronesia doesn’t mean it can’t have a big personality!

  • Amontillado

    No, no don’t. Don’t fall into the hype trap, everyone here is doing it; don’t be a victim. This PSA brought to you by Pee Wee Herman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHFnc_eV4Lg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Describe the character of Mace Windu with out saying what he looked like, or what role in the film he had or occupation. Describe him as a real person.

  • Niccageshair

    He’s fucking Samuel L Jackson. What else needs to be said?

  • Palpatine

    It’s also a term used by Armenians to describe the persecution of them:
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Genocide

  • Amontillado

    The furry, non-furry conflict had been brewing for years. Woodland creatures could not understand the non-furryness of the invading homo-sapiens. After adopting Christianity, furry animal conflicts continued to escalate well throughout the 7th to 15th century AD. As furry animals were converted to Judeao-Christianity, eventually they were subdued to a role as a domicile slave caste. This system continues to this very day,

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s Natalie Portman

  • Amontillado

    SHUT YOUR ASS UP AND SIT IT THE FUCK DOWN!

  • instant relief

    He was the ambassador of the urban market, just like John Boyega in TFA!

  • Palpatine

    He’s, stoic?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s incorrect about the Urban Market actually. Regarding Boyega

  • instant relief

    Did Samuel turn white all of a sudden?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No actually Boyega was chosen for talent. Jackson was because of The Urban Market.

  • Palpatine

    What else has he been in?

  • Niccageshair

    “What’s really bad is no one knows how much it takes” This sounds like a great opportunity for a science fair project.

    “And here is little Johnny, Johnny what is your science project about?”
    “How much crack does it take to kill a single person?”
    “Ohh well isn’t this topical.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    24: Live Another Day and Attack The Block. Fantastic actor from what I’ve seen.

  • bleurgh

    My folks bought and watched revenge of the Sith yesterday. Why? Because they have no taste whatsoever and will buy any dvd they see in the bargain bin at big w for less than $10. We’ve got 300 or so DVDs and 85 percent are utter garbage.

  • Palpatine

    Mace Windu is fucking Samuel L. Jackson?! Ewww!

  • Palpatine

    Well, we’ll see.

  • Niccageshair

    No he is “Fucking Samuel L Jackson” it’s his real name.

  • Palpatine

    Motherfucking Samuel L. Jackson actually.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yeah, we will. I have no clue about that cutie Daisy Ridley.

  • Palpatine

    I’m glad they’re using new actors. The old ones need to rest.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Force awakens but Harrison needs to sleep.

  • Niccageshair

    Ohhhhh shit it’s halftime you know what that means. *Prepares the tissues*

  • Niccageshair

    Well that was the best one so far.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    I have no idea what the plot is the movie but you do get a sense of character, world, and magic. Magic is the keyword.

  • Bubs

    Meh.

  • Palpatine

    Wow. That was great. That’s all I’ve got to say, and I fully expect WWIII to break out in the comments tonight.

  • Niccageshair

    It’s a great trailer. And did it actually avoid the Inception build and release trailer style for the most part?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But Star Wars finally has character!

  • RLMkeepitup

    the effects look like they’re being handled well. the tone is too serious for star wars but that was expected. it does look like it could be a fun ride.

  • Bubs

    Frankenstein’s Army is on Netflix. Complete schlock, and unfortunately it’s in the found footage style. Still, it’s a fun watch. Though, the filmmakers were clearly a little too proud of some of their monsters, as they focus the camera on them for way too long sometimes. Makes the monsters seem even hokier than they would otherwise. I give it 4 kitties out of 5.

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  • Jonah Falcon

    This reminds me of Dr. Katz.

  • Jonah Falcon

    In other words, giving blowjobs to 80 year old men for money.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    It has Peter Cushing and karate asians fighting karate vampires and their undead hoping horde. It is a wonder. A wondrous wonder.

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  • AndyAce83

    Edward Furlong did have a longer career though than that other guy. I mean American history X for one. Wasnt he in Pet Semetary 2 too? He was just another one of those child actors that Hollywood ate and spat out.

    In fact, without joking… Hollywood should kind of be held accountable for this happening over and over again.

  • RandMS

    Hey, reupload “Mr. Plinkett: The Animated Series” episodes. I miss that stuff.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    so sad, jake lloyd’s life really was ruined

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