Quick Cuts: The Sacrament

May 1, 2014335 Comments

The Sacrament is the latest film from Ti West. It’s about a group of journalists that venture into the jungle to investigate a commune run by a cult-like leader. It is also a found footage movie. Unfortunately.

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Filed in: Quick Cuts

  • TJ

    Good ole’ found footage. Pass the Kool-Aid!

  • Joseph Mayfield

    It says I can’t watch it yet.

  • troof

    thanks for the review, jay…

  • tjp77

    Okay you goddamn hacks, when are we getting a new FULL review???

    • TJ

      If you watch this 5 times in a row, it’s close!

      • tjp77

        And that is exactly what I’ll do.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        Thanks, TJ Sex-Worker!

        EDIT: HEYOOOOOOOO!

    • chibidw

      Their next review will be in found footage format now, just to fuck with you specifically.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        I maintain that the “Wacky Kids’ Jokes” things were found footage videos of Richevans’s demonic transformation.
        I’d make the “Blair Rich Project” joke again, but that would mean recycling material.
        And I’ll be DAMNED if I ever find myself recycling jokes or plastic.

  • Guest

    I don’t know, playing Jonestown completely straight as a conventional horror film seems unique to me.

    • revenanto

      Me too. In fact Anthony Burgess, the author, did it in a novel ‘Earthly Powers’. That didn’t require surprises or twists.

  • Guest

    Playing Jonestown completely straight as a horror film could be unique in its way. But I can see how the found footage stuff might work against that.

  • John Krzeminski

    Too bad, because it sounded like a good setup for a good horror movie. Until you said it was found footage movie that was basically the Jonestown massacre, I was worried that it was going to be something like M. Night Shamalamamaans Village… with the whole isolated town and monsters and what not.

  • Guest

    shave that beard you hack fraud. Who is this hobo masquerading as Jay?

    Hope it’s not one of the hobos who escaped from my basement…

  • Geahk Burchill

    I’m so happy with the Quick Cuts series. Jay has done an excellent job on these and I look forward to more.

  • Lat

    I don’t believe my eyes. New content!!!

  • http://www.youtube.com/ac1dchr15t ac1d

    So Jay, would you recommend The Sacrament?

  • Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi

    I love Ti West and i actually liked Cabin Fever 2.

    I might check out The Sacrament even if it was a found footage movie.

  • Bill Scurry

    I have seen enough of Joe Frickin’ Swanberg for one lifetime. These guys like to cast their fellow filmmakers in each other’s projects, but Swanberg acts like an amateur most of the time.

  • http://rocketboy1313.blogspot.com/ Rocketboy1313

    Sounds a lot like the movie “Europa Report” which was REALLY diminished by the documentary framing device.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I was curious about that film. Does what’s-his-face get rid of that incredibly thick accent he has in both District 9 and Elysium?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I really love the craftsmanship they put into these videos. I mean, the intro has REAL SCISSORS cutting REEL FILM! It’s not even CGI!

    Take THAT, Lucas!

    Also, the new Stir Wers is apparently using quite a few practical effects and shooting on location. That gives me hope… it gives me A New Hope…

    • Jason

      I hear Carrie Fisher is going to play Jabba the Hutt’s illegitimate daughter. It’s gonna be great.

      • Striker, Ted

        No. No, it is not “gonna be great.” Not at all. Who am I kiddin?

        That’s gonna be great.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Isn’t Andy Sirkis the Carrie Fisher CGI double?

    • Percy Gryce

      Fuck you and your puns.

      I love them.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s right, Jay!

  • Percy Gryce

    Gott sei Dank.

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      Perc, you know that all you need to do if you want to die is look into a mirror and say “Showbizz Pizza Bear” three times.

      • Percy Gryce

        I didn’t actually want to die, but waiting for fresh new content here was kinda like a slow death.

  • Percy Gryce

    Does The Sacrament include a fat Congressman character played by Ned Betty?

  • Percy Gryce

    Shit, the Care Boars got me.

    • LelouchtheFilial

      Idiot. Learn to pause the…
      GAH! While I was writing this, the jingle got me.
      The jingle haunts me. Traumatizes me. It takes me back to when I was molested as a child and I never WAS molested as a child.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      #ItGetsBetter #ThereIsHope

      I will be creating a help group within the next few weeks. I’d appreciate it if you and other would join us. This is something we need to band together to conquer.

      Thank you, and may The Holy Richevens bless you.

      • Percy Gryce

        Let’s hope that @mitchelltaconash:disqus will live by the promise of hashtag.

    • jaymanxyz2

      What is that? I know it plays at the end of any video, but I’ve never watched it. What’s the deal with it?

      • Percy Gryce

        It’s a rite of passage. You can’t truly join the RLM community–you won’t be fully vested as a Plinkette–until you experience the Care Boars in all their glorious wonder.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Do us plinkettes do a kick line at the end of each new video? I want to show off these sparkly new outfits I made for everyone.

        • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

          Plinkettes, really? I was gonna suggest Forkbrains.

          • Percy Gryce

            I did put out an RFP for group name suggestions:

            http://redlettermedia.com/today-the-3rd-annual-stream-a-thon/#comment-1174392868

            And I don’t recall you responding.

            But I do like the Forkbrains.

          • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

            Christ I was so drunk that night…

          • Percy Gryce

            Good answer. I was actually at work, so no imbibing . . . .

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            What, no love for ‘Virgins’?

            That can be taken in more than one way.

          • Percy Gryce

            It’s a little bit generic–like certain CGI piece-of-shit characters.

        • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

          Also, I’m pretty sure THESE were The Plinkettes
          http://i.minus.com/ibcntVFtFzleJP.gif

          • Percy Gryce

            Wow, where the hell is that from?

          • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

            The live stage show that Mr. Plinkett did back in the late 90s. Shoji Tabuchi was the headliner.

          • Thanatos2k

            It’s from the Mr. Plinkett Ego Celebration Festival V

    • WrongWithYourFace

      Me too. But I was too far down in the comments to get to it in time. So I jammed a fork in my brain and let it play in the background. Oh, gorn.

  • ChachaIaca

    Is Quick Cuts a Jay thing only?

    I’d like to see something from the rest of the gang.

    • Percy Gryce

      Mike’s Likes
      Rich’s Bitches
      Jack’s Hacks

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Mitch is Rich’s Bitcheses.

        • ThomasHFoolery

          Who is Rich? Or is that short for Richevans?

      • ThomasHFoolery

        The only confirmed show for this season is Jay’s Gays

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      This is something Jay does alone at night when everyone else at RLM is fast asleep [aka passed out drunk].

      I’ve a feeling that Jay edits them as well. I think he enjoys editing and has a knack for it [which I appreciate and can relate to].

      • Ludwig Scroggins IV

        What does Rich Evans do when everyone else at RLM is fast asleep? Masturbate Furiously.

      • Paulus Cañamonjas

        I can´t imagine Mike doing these. He´s too dead or frivolous for that. Maybe Jay is the anchor of this company, much like John Paul Jones in Zep.

    • WrongWithYourFace

      No one else is lonely enough to go to the movies alone.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I like these “Quick Cuts” reviews.
    There isn’t much of a STORY, but you just like hanging out with Jay.
    The character of Jay is very likable and the actor who portrays him puts forth a really good performance.

    • Percy Gryce

      Jay better bring beer next time.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        Or Diet Coke.
        I’d still get cancer, but at least I’d be able to drive home.
        Drunk driving is the worst, in my opinion. If I was drunk, I’d NEVER have been able to mow down that Korean family with my car with such precision.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Now you can drive drinking Diet Coke while texting and fiddling with your iPod and take out all of Taiwan. No more MADD members to make you feel guilty.

  • Percy Gryce

    Hmm, there have been a lot of TV, movie, and documentary treatments of Jonestown. But I can’t think of a treatment of Heaven’s Gate or the Solar Temple self-immolations. I’d be interested in seeing something on those other tragedies.

    • Mark Bisone

      A “Heaven’s Gate” pitch-black comedy could be good.

      • Percy Gryce

        I mean the cult leader’s name was Marshall Herff Applewhite and he looked like this. How hasn’t someone made that movie?

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Wasn’t “The Master” kind of close to that? It’s not like Phillip Seymour Hoffman would have lost weight for the role, but….

  • Mark Bisone

    Way to cut to the quick, Jack.

    • LelouchtheFilial

      This is what Jay says every time he tries pitching ‘Space Cop’ to Hollywood.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      It’s *BONNHAM*, you fuck!

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        “FUCK YOU, BONHAM!” -Jackie Packhard.

    • Percy Gryce

      My god, that queasy expression–perfection.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        He’s channelling his character from Gorilla, Interrupted.

  • Joshua Barkdull

    That’s disappointing because this idea has a lot of potential to be a good movie. The Jones Town massacre tapes are some of the most haunting and disturbing audio recordings I have ever heard. There were no cameras present but you could do a movie about it assuming the film centered around one of the few people who fled and survived. Now thanks to this movie, that movie can never be made.

    Also making it a modern day version of The Jones Town Massacre and changing stuff to add drama or what have you could also work as a great movie, but why make it found footage. Why make it partially found footage. Make it documentary style or just a straight up movie. You can add so much to this frame work and end up with such a great movie with hard hitting questions about what it means to have blind faith, and cult culture and group think. It could have been a great movie.

    Instead we get this mess.

    • ThomasHFoolery

      It could’ve been great.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        This movie will be the preface for the re-released version of “Things That Could Have Been Great” by George Lucas.
        It could have been great.

        • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

          So May the 4th is coming up, and some friends are having a Star Wars costume party. I’m planning to get a pillow, white beard, and flannel shirt and go around knocking drinks out of peoples’ hands and generally ruining things.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            You should give out VHS copies of the Christmas Special as gifts, then destroy them all with a blow torch.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            It’s gonna be great.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      I wonder if “Downfall” is a good model for a Jonestown Massacre movie to work from.

  • Percy Gryce

    “No one just sets a camera down while it’s still recording.”–Jay Bauman

    http://youtu.be/J7eSdXLmj9A?t=47m32s

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      “Aww shucks, Percy. Thanks for taking me back.”

      • Percy Gryce

        Showbiz Pizza Bear, what’s wrong with your face?

        • Duckler

          It’s clearly a stroke. We’re going to need that gurney again.

        • WrongWithYourFace

          It’s a-me!

      • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

        the shitty quality of this image makes it even more horrifying

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          It’s so dense, each pixel has so many things going on.

  • Alex Three

    I wonder why they didn’t just do a retelling of the events? They could have dramatised it and made it ‘historical fiction’ or something but.. why even make it an alternative place/people/etc?

    • Hieronymus Friedrich von Münch

      i think they wanted you to be all like, “this horror movie just ended with the jones town massacre. i see..jones town had all the elements of a creepy horror movie but it really happened!” much like the hit song “horror movie”

  • Mark Bisone

    I got a hard-on for “Frankenstein’s Army” when I heard the summary and saw a few production pics. Looked like it had a few things going for it: good story concept, potential black humor, lots of detailed costumes and craft. So I took a chance and on-demanded-it.

    It was fucking terrible, and I think that was 80% due to its “found footage” format. They could have shot a neat little horror-comedy flick with the material on hand, but instead decided to lard the narrative with a ton of “the-camera-kept-running-for-some-reason” shots that wound up limited the storytelling in increasingly ludicrous ways. The camera setups quickly went from distracting to risible, and by the end you aren’t really watching a movie as much as you are wondering about the production itself, and whether the “found” genre is just an excuse to shit out a low budget movie using an eight-page treatment instead of a script.

    Sad to think Ti West is going along with the Port-A-Potty flow, here. I thought his “House of the Devil” was one of the more cinematic and engaging horror flicks in years. I respect experiments as much as the next guy, but doing a FF knockoff of a well-known cult massacre is shitting the bed twice in one night.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I enjoyed Chronicle in spite of it’s “found footage” style, which made less and less sense as it went on. I mean, this is what would have needed to have happened for it to be “found footage”. Someone would have needed to find the old camera that Andrew was originally filming on, the cameras that Matt and that other chick Casey were using, they would have needed to hike up to the Himalayas and find the camera that Matt left there [which is fucking impossible because he didn't tell anybody he was doing so and it's the fucking Himalayas, that camera is as good as gone], and they would have needed to painstakingly find every single cell phone, camera, and security camera that filmed the final fight scene [and other various shots throughout] and edit that shit together in Chroniclogical order. Yyyyeeeeea–NO!

      I mean, if your filming method makes that little sense, then why bother with it? I think they realized that there’s a market for found footage that could reasonably outweigh the benefits financially, making the artistic risk worth it. That’s unfortunate as I feel the film would have been a lot better had they stuck with a more traditional filming style. Instead, I was taken out of the film a bunch of times as they needed to come up with increasingly implausible and stupid ways of filming the narrative.

      With al that being said, when the fuck will Space Cop be out?!

  • JAGUART

    Is this one of those “Found Footage” movies?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      That’s right, JA– GUART?…

      • JAGUART

        So they shoot this footage, and then find it and stuff?

        • Paulus Cañamonjas

          Pizza rolls!

        • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

          Mmmm… country fried.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          I don’t know whether to make that my new screensaver or watch “Mr. Plinkett Eats.”

        • Duckler

          Sploosh!

      • Fuck Me I’m January

        How did you gets “that’s” to be in the Stoklasics?

        • Guest

          Text
          Remove space between i and >

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Remove the spaces.

          • Now I Get It

            My life begins today.

    • LelouchtheFilial

      Space Cop? Yes.
      Wait, were you talking about Sacrament? It SAYS it’s a found footage movie in the description and, if you’re not too busy to watch a five minute video, Jay states multiple times that, yes, it’s a porno.
      Oh, wait… shit… sometimes my memory gets a little fuzzy…

    • Duckler

      It’s a bound bootage movie, 90 minutes of people getting their bootlaces tied together – like Human Centipede, but not that at all.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I really got my fix of “Cult-Related-Mass-Suicides” from the ‘Brain Scratch’ episode of Cowboy Bebop.
    Even if anime ain’t your thing, I couldn’t recommend this more highly.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    AJ Bowen looks like the lovechild of Billy Mays and Rob McElhenney.

    • Fuck Me I’m January

      I was thinking the same thing

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    I want to see a live action reenactment of Care Boars starring Rich Evans as Slappy, Rich Evans as Silly, Rich Evans as Santa, Rich Evans as Mr. Scary, and guest starring Rich Evans and Rich Evans as “the special areas”

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      Dude I can totally see it in my head… he would be wearing a poorly-fitting onesie with a paper cut out insignia scotch-taped to his stomach and big clumsy paper mache tusks. He’d be extremely unenthusiastic, and occasionally stop mid sentence and start complaining about doing this. Mike’s voice would be heard, off camera, threatening him, and he would wearily continue, fighting through the tears.

      • WrongWithYourFace

        I misread “I can totally see it in my bed”. Damn you, Percy!

        • Percy Gryce

          Don’t damn me all to hell. You need to curse Faddlechud.

          • WrongWithYourFace

            But your comment above is the key to all of this.

          • Percy Gryce

            It’s a funnier comment than we’ve ever had before–if we can get it working.

      • Meester Smeeth

        “Mike! Do you have any idea how hot I am right now?! Shut up!! And let me take my time getting this tusk on, for your stupid Care Boars reboot!!!”

    • Percy Gryce

      I’m not even going to read your comment. I’m just upvoting your screen name and avatar.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    So you guys, this movie gave me a great idea for an original new film: it would be a found footage documentary of a cult leader in California named Charles Nanson who convinces a bunch of people to be murderers. Nanson will be a really scary guy because he’ll have a big X on his forehead. And they’ll be all obsessed with a song by this band The Bootles called Frelter Shmelter. What do you think?

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Can the Nanson followers be the cast from “Mean Girls” to help grab the teenage market for this movie? And instead of an X, can we get an Ampersand on Nanson’s forehead? I think maybe some of the kids might mistake the cult leader for a superhero and upset parents.

      • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

        Let’s make it a hashtag on his forehead. That’ll hook in the demographic.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          #makeitso.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            #1.
            I, like… used the hashtag to mean “number.”
            We’re doing a Ster Trak thing.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Ahh yes, a movie made by committee.

          I’ll be back next year with a bunch of dump trucks to collect all the money we just made. :D

    • bassbait

      I’m going to make about a politician/military leader named Michael Baydolf Titler, and he’s going to invade the country of polejob and enslave all of the fat racist cartoons and force them to work on concentration lamps. I’ll call it World Bore 2 and it’ll star Megan Sox, sound good?

      • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

        *Earth Fight 2

  • Vardulon

    At least Mary Marcy May Marlene was subtle about the fact that it was a movie told from the point of view of one of the Manson Family girls. Changing the location/events enough to tell their own story with the same basic premise, using a lot of the real facts for creep factor.

    • Percy Gryce

      Spoilers!

      • Fuck Me I’m January

        Thpoilers!*, Mr President

  • Duckler

    I want to see a sound sootage movie about a group of chimney sweeps who form a barbershop quartet.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Those puns are either too funny or just very, very bad. Either way I skipped over laughing and my eyebrow just raised. My brain was tickled a bit, although that may be my strokes acting up again.

      Here, have an upvote.

      • Duckler

        Bad puns are the new currency. Also, all restaurants are Taco Bell.

        • bassbait

          Darn, I was a millionaire before the new currency, and now it’ll take way too schlong to get that all back!

  • jaymanxyz2

    There needs to be a found footage movie with Mr. Plinkett as the antagonist.

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      I think you meant *hero

      what the hell is an…. antuh-gawn-est?

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Antuh-gawn-est is a Mr. Plinkett prescription to treat his ectopic pregnancy.

      • Fartastic

        How did you know how to correctly mispronounce an unknown word that is written correctly? Is that the script lying next to you? How the fuck am I supposed to believe your bullshit impersonation of a stroke victim? Answer me, noseless thing with the dollar bill going through its neck!

        • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

          I can’t think of anything witty or snarky to say in return because your comment made me laugh too hard. I really liked the idea of someone angrily yelling at my stupid little MSpaint icon drawing, thank you.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        He’s the hero Hollywood deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

    • bassbait

      You either die the hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the Plinkett.

  • Captain Turbo

    I was watching a found footage film the other day and after the first hour I realized it was just the video of my colonoscopy.

    • bassbait

      How did it end?

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        With an orgasm, obviously.

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    4:04 Nice edit Jay…or is it Jack?

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      Error 404: Editor Not Found

      • Paulus Cañamonjas

        Good one. By the way I miss your gifs; since Captain America stole your car, nothing has been the same.

        • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

          Oh, I’m still around making those flipbooks, I’ve just been super busy the last few months. If you ever want a gif from an RLM show just let me know.

          • WrongWithYourFace

            What flipbooks?

          • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

            yea.. but, oddly enough:

            http://gifprint.com/

          • WrongWithYourFace

            Hmm… What if I made a flipbook out of that gif of a flipbook of a gif?

          • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud
          • Percy Gryce

            A classic–inspired by yours truly, if I recall correctly.

          • My ex wife

            Do that and we all end up in purgatory.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Is that a GIF of a video of a flipbook of a GIF of a video of a cat?…

            Faddlechud, you may have gone too far in a few places.

        • WrongWithYourFace

          Hello. You called? :)

          • Paulus Cañamonjas

            Sorry man, couldn´t remember who was it :D. Nice theft

  • Matt Thermo

    I figured found footage movies were pretty much done with V/H/S. Not done as
    in, they can’t do better than this so don’t bother. Done as in, it was a
    found footage movie about finding footage of people finding found
    footage movies. It was not a parody.

    You’ve pretty much exhausted the genre at that point.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Was it a good genre to begin with? Being serious, not sarcastic.

      • Duckler

        Short answer: maybe.

        Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • sepiajack

    Great work Jay!

  • Michael Collins

    Great work, now I don’t feel the need to watch this movie I’ve never heard of..

  • Fred Frink

    I watched the making of Gorilla Interrupted and wanted to know what Garrett Gilchrist is upto. He is one of those my little pony wierdos. You know the pony doll furry fuckers.

  • Duckler

    Don’t leave us hanging Jay, do they ever get to White Castle..?!

  • Percy Gryce

    Fuck you, Tapeworm Bike. Eat my dust.

    Taco, I’m gunnin’ for you.

    • TJ

      Quality over quantity…

      GO FOR THE THROAT

      • Duckler

        More drink, less think!

    • ThomasHFoolery

      You need to check your replies

      • Percy Gryce

        Anything in particular?

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          This one, you FUCK.

          • Percy Gryce

            Arigato, Mrs. Roboto.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Why did you put that song in my head?! WHY?

          • Percy Gryce

            You’re welcome.

          • My ex wife

            Off to Youtube we go!

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          No no. This one.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          No, really. This one.

        • ThomasHFoolery

          You have 99 of them. At least 37 were me trying to order autographed pizza rolls. You fack hraud.

    • MikeFromCanmore

      it’s ok TapewormBike I Still Love Ya even if you have less comments ( not the Rich Evans Kinda Love Obviously )

    • Thanatos2k

      If only I hadn’t posted for years as Guest….

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Guest you should have known better.

        • sepiajack

          Congrats Taco, you have the most Meow meow beans!

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      I like that all the top commenters’ avatars are in some way faces, except sepiajack, who looks like a bowl of soup.

      • sepiajack

        It’s actually a weird reflection at the bottom of a transparent Tea pot!

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I used to have my own face on there, but my handsomeness was distracting everyone from taking me seriously.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Are you sure it wasn’t the clown makeup?

          But seriously, if you had bewbs like I do, everyone would treat you with respect, admiration, high regard, honor, reverence, appreciation, awe, adoration-

          Oh….. shit. I dropped my thesaurus.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Boobs or it didn’t happen.

            Er, I mean pics or it didn’t happen.

            Dropping your thesaurus, that is, not your boobs.

    • Now I Get It

      Hey, the downvotes are back.

  • Otto Torrens

    I’d go for VHS 2 if you want a good found footage weird cult horror bit :|

    • Kidakor

      The Safe Haven segment of VHS 2 started out promising enough – very promising, in fact – with all the creepiness surrounding the refreshingly exotic Indonesian cult and its greatly acted leader, but then it descends into pure schlock (the shitty kind) once they try to put a supernatural twist on sectarian mass suicide. Okay, summoning the Anti-Christ/Devil makes kind of sense given the religious context, but it’s just so jarring to the perfectly worldly horror they built up to that point. And then it cements its status as a turd with that hilariously amateur-looking puppet they try to pass off as Hell’s spawn. VHS 2 is a sharp decline in quality compared to its predecessor, and VHS already sucked huge honking monkey dicks.

      I wonder if Ti West saw it and was so disappointed/enraged he resolved on the spot to shoot a better version by using no twists whatsoever.

      • Otto Torrens

        Why do you think it’s worse? Me and my friends thought the final 2 pieces of VHS 2 were better than all the other stuff in the 2 movies combined.

        • Kidakor

          The cult bit and the one with the annoying kiddies getting killed off by the extras-in-green-grey-pajamas aliens? If you like schlocky, goofy horror I’m sure this has entertainment value; if you want serious horror, however… The first installment at least tried, but still failed because, well, it’s found footage.

          This genre is one of those fundamentally flawed concepts that never work, yet seem to never go away, like prequels (or have a long staying power like FMV games).

          • Otto Torrens

            At what point in the film did the kids die ?

          • Kidakor

            After they get beamed up in the mothership and served nicely roasted, presumably.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    So did anybody else see the preview image of this video and think it was going to be a movie starring John Goodman?

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Not John Goodman so much as Kim Jong-il.

      • Joe Syxpac

        Kim Jong-Goodman?

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          That wasn’t funny enough.

          Time to take you to Prison Camp 14.

          • Fartastic

            Excellent choice, Sir.

          • Now I Get It

            I bust my ass making shit up, but every horrible, arcane thing you bat out proves to be real.

            There ought to be a law.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Backhanded compliments get you laid, or so I heard.

          • Now I Get It

            Yay, boo. Yay, my boo.

      • Fuck Me I’m January

        Dem crease lines

    • Akka Fakka

      I was actually thinking Tom Sizemore.

    • Duckler

      I thought that was Mr. Plinkett. Is that not why Jay went to see it?

    • sepiajack

      Yeah I thought it was John Goodman too!

    • Robert Fitl

      Yes!

    • Memoman

      The words “A man, we can all agree, is a decade late on a massive heart attack” immediately started playing in my mind.

  • Harry Palm

    As someone that didn’t like ‘House of the Devil’ or ‘The Innkeepers’, I can only scratch my head in befuddlement at the love that Ti West gets.

  • Wasperheimer

    Never Say Die (1994) was another movie that ripped its plot from Jonestown Massacre. I call it Jonesploitation.

  • tonkemaskin

    The Innkeepers was so unbelievably boring, I cannot even begin to describe it.

  • El_Runko

    I will be a Trigger Man defender ’til death.

    Fucking LOVE that one.

  • Duckler

    So when’s the next episode of Jay Goes To the Movies Alone?

    • dollar store cashier wife

      that’s right mike!

      • Striker, Ted

        That’s right Mark.

      • Duckler

        What’s left, Rich Evans?

    • sepiajack

      Which ever movie is confirmed for Jay.

  • Thanatos2k

    I don’t even think the Jonestown Massacre works as a horror movie. The events are more likely to inspire anger in the audience than fear….

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      I think a Jonestown horror movie concept would work better if the movie started as the last person drank the kool-aid, and the journalists started showing up.

      • sepiajack

        I was thinking an interesting take on this would be to have the isolated cult in the jungle like in this movie, but before any of the inevitable bad stuff can go down, an actual horror movie monster starts snatching members into the jungle to devour, and it becomes about them vs the monster. Would make for unconventional protagonists. I guess sort of like M Night Shylaman’s the VIllage, if there had been ACTUAL monsters, and no dumb twist

    • Striker, Ted

      The history channel version was actually pretty harrowing.

  • omitted

    Looking good, Jay! Now take off your shirt…

  • Roger Sterlings Lucky Strikes

    Too bad. I am a huge fan of House of the Devil and The Innkeepers. I’ll wait to see it on Netflix.

  • Jeremy Davis

    When is the next Plinkett review?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Nice try, Ti West. You can’t fool us.

    • Duckler

      Gungas

    • bassbait

      F*** you Jeremy Davis!

      • Mijk

        You ruined this, too?

        What’s with all the Jeremies?

    • WrongWithYourFace

      Are you trying to tell us something? Do you think you’re a funnier character than we’ve had before?

      • LelouchtheFilial

        You know, he’s never going to beat Rich Evans for the distinction of “funniest character”… no one can.

      • My ex wife

        Jeremy Davis is the key to all this. If we get Jeremy Davis working.

    • swameleon

      But really when is the next plinkett review??????

  • stryker1121

    I can take or leave found footage flicks at this point. As long as this movie doesn’t have that stupid asshole who kicked the map in the stream for no reason. Really wanted to smack that guy.

    • Duckler

      Are you sure you didn’t want to “stryke” that guy?

      • stryker1121

        that’ll do

  • swameleon

    When is that fucking space cock movie coming out you fags?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      It’s Super Cop, you fucking pleb.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        “It’s SUPER COP!”
        “With that fucking gun!”
        I did, like, a Robocop thing.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          I was harkening back to a simpler era… where some douche-bag commenter was calling it ‘Super Cop’.

  • John Dough

    Are there any other websites or Youtube channels that are like RLM? I like RLM and all but I need my weekly fix and if the guys can`t provide that then I`m thinking of looking elsewhere (A rushed five minute review of a movie no one cares about isn`t going to cut it).

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      John… d’oh!

    • LelouchtheFilial

      They’re making a goddamn MOVIE, motherfucker.
      Y’know, South Park makes new episodes weekly, but they take the Summer off to recharge their creative juices and work on other projects.
      RLM makes new content ALL YEAR, the trade-off being that it’s not going to be your monkey-boy and post new shit every week just because you demand it.
      Oh, you don’t like the five-minute reviews? You think they’re rushed?
      Well, shit, things’ll be a LOT less rushed if they post new content every week, right? What, with the shooting, the editing, the fact that maybe (though it’s a stretch) they have personal lives.
      Just listen to yourself, huh?

      • Josh Noble

        There isn’t a chance in hell Rich has a personal life.

        • LelouchtheFilial

          I said it was a stretch, but maybe I was being too optimistic.

          • Baron Teapot

            Hahahah! Ohhh, I love it. Poor Rich Evans. He seems like such a nice guy! I just wanna hug him.

    • Duckler

      So they should clearly contact you about their next month’s studio rent, then? Thanks for helping out!

    • Meester Smeeth

      Have patience. Try watching some Kermode and Mayo, or Film Brain’s Bad Movie Beatdown on That Guy With The Glasses The Dot Com. But mainly have patience.

      I’m glad Quick Cuts is back. It’s better than nothing. I thought they’d forgotten about it.

    • infernocanuck

      Step 1: Fork in the Brain

      Step 2: Fork in the Brain

      Step Brain: Fork in the Brain

      ForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrain. Fork.

  • Meester Smeeth

    So is Ti West just like another Eli Roth where he got lucky with a couple of half-decent films and everything else is pretty much awful garbage?

    • Duckler

      Mucho much.

      • Meester Smeeth

        I figured as mucho. Much.

    • Joe Schmoe

      Like Kevin Smith

  • Jason Ross

    I see what you did there.
    That said,
    4.3/10.0

    • thatsrightjay

      i take what i can get

  • Jason Ross

    Thirty Chinamen and a zeppelin requested for an elaborate birthday joke. Please reply if you have access to either.

  • Gene Parmesan

    Totally agree about Ti west, and was thinking about watching this one even though I knew it was found footage. Thanks for letting us know it ain’t worth it.

  • Bacchus

    Go watch the movie Dig! instead. The Brian Jonestown Massacre are far more entertaining and it features the line “You fucking broke my sitar, motherfucker!”

  • Dradeeus .

    I think “found footage” gets sort of a bad rap. The problem is, ironically, that directors and creators can’t help themselves, they need to set up shots, they need to get stuff in frame, which is NOT THE POINT OF FOUND FOOTAGE. Found footage is scary/interesting because of what you CAN’T see or understand as just some random shmuck stuck in a bad situation.

    • ident

      It also depends on what you are trying to do with it. A romantic comedy wouldn’t work as a found footage film and neither would, in my opinion, a giant monster movie. I agree that the concept has potential when its limitations are understood and it’s used in the service of an appropriate story.

      • NotRickBerman

        Cloverfield was an interesting take on the big monster found footage movie. The problem is once it’s been done, it can’t really be repeated.

        I agree with Jay that the biggest downfall of these types of movies is that there will always be scenes in the “found footage” that no one in their right mind would ever be shooting. Doc filmmakers will not clumsily set a rolling camera down and walk away. Home owners don’t set up security cameras in their kitchens, etc..

        Adam Sandler movies should all be done as found footage:

        “In 2014, Adam Sandler set out to make a sequel to Jack and Jill. He was never heard from again.”

        The remaining 90 minutes is nothing but a blank screen while movie audiences applaud wildly.

        • Pissernacht

          That sounds like a wet dream come true! It would involve even less effort on Sandler’s part and the audience doesn’t have to sit through his obnoxious man-child act!

          • NotRickBerman

            It’s gonna be great.

  • Arek Sałata

    I liked this movie. It looks pretty much like a VICE documentary, And while the found footage sequences were quite obnoxious, I had no problem with them as they consisted of only small part of the movie.
    Best scene – definitely Interview followed by recreation of the “Death tape”. Gene Jones was great Jim Jones.

  • catnep

    Probably won’t see this one. However, we did watch House of the Devil on Jay’s recommendation. Quite watchable. I thought it had a John Carpenter vibe both visually and in the way the story slowly built up before all hell broke loose. Of course the babysitter plot reminded me of Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween. Worth a view if you’re looking for something creepy that isn’t found footage.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    bro

  • harumph

    House of the Devil and The Innkeepers aren’t “slow burn.” They’re “nothing happens until the last ten minutes.” Withholding action is not synonymous with building tension. Rosemary’s Baby is slow burn. House of the Devil is a dumb girl wandering around aimlessly for an hour and 15 minutes before a bunch of satanic movie cliches get thrown at you in the last 10 minutes.

  • Stef Sarch

    The guy from the poster is Plinkett.

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  • Duckler

    Only ever heard of the guy after his his V/H/S short, but his was clearly the best of the lot. Still, probably not going to seek this one out.

    Thanks, Jay! When’s the next Pork Pork?

  • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

    Keep it coming, Jay. Your Quick Cuts are pretty cool.

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