Quick Cuts: The Sacrament

May 1, 2014448 Comments

The Sacrament is the latest film from Ti West. It’s about a group of journalists that venture into the jungle to investigate a commune run by a cult-like leader. It is also a found footage movie. Unfortunately.

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Filed in: Quick Cuts

  • TJ

    Good ole’ found footage. Pass the Kool-Aid!

  • Joseph Mayfield

    It says I can’t watch it yet.

  • troof

    thanks for the review, jay…

  • tjp77

    Okay you goddamn hacks, when are we getting a new FULL review???

  • TJ

    If you watch this 5 times in a row, it’s close!

  • tjp77

    And that is exactly what I’ll do.

  • Guest

    I don’t know, playing Jonestown completely straight as a conventional horror film seems unique to me.

  • Guest

    Playing Jonestown completely straight as a horror film could be unique in its way. But I can see how the found footage stuff might work against that.

  • John Krzeminski

    Too bad, because it sounded like a good setup for a good horror movie. Until you said it was found footage movie that was basically the Jonestown massacre, I was worried that it was going to be something like M. Night Shamalamamaans Village… with the whole isolated town and monsters and what not.

  • revenanto

    Me too. In fact Anthony Burgess, the author, did it in a novel ‘Earthly Powers’. That didn’t require surprises or twists.

  • Guest

    shave that beard you hack fraud. Who is this hobo masquerading as Jay?

    Hope it’s not one of the hobos who escaped from my basement…

  • Geahk Burchill

    I’m so happy with the Quick Cuts series. Jay has done an excellent job on these and I look forward to more.

  • Lat

    I don’t believe my eyes. New content!!!

  • http://www.youtube.com/ac1dchr15t ac1d

    So Jay, would you recommend The Sacrament?

  • Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi

    I love Ti West and i actually liked Cabin Fever 2.

    I might check out The Sacrament even if it was a found footage movie.

  • Bill Scurry

    I have seen enough of Joe Frickin’ Swanberg for one lifetime. These guys like to cast their fellow filmmakers in each other’s projects, but Swanberg acts like an amateur most of the time.

  • elsewhere

    Love these reviews, Jay. A nice alternative to HitB.

    Have no interest in seeing The Sacrament, but I’ll definitely check out the other two you mentioned.

  • chibidw

    Their next review will be in found footage format now, just to fuck with you specifically.

  • http://rocketboy1313.blogspot.com/ Rocketboy1313

    Sounds a lot like the movie “Europa Report” which was REALLY diminished by the documentary framing device.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I really love the craftsmanship they put into these videos. I mean, the intro has REAL SCISSORS cutting REEL FILM! It’s not even CGI!

    Take THAT, Lucas!

    Also, the new Stir Wers is apparently using quite a few practical effects and shooting on location. That gives me hope… it gives me A New Hope…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s right, Jay!

  • Percy Gryce

    Gott sei Dank.

  • Jason

    I hear Carrie Fisher is going to play Jabba the Hutt’s illegitimate daughter. It’s gonna be great.

  • Percy Gryce

    Does The Sacrament include a fat Congressman character played by Ned Betty?

  • Percy Gryce

    Shit, the Care Boars got me.

  • Percy Gryce

    Fuck you and your puns.

    I love them.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Idiot. Learn to pause the…
    GAH! While I was writing this, the jingle got me.
    The jingle haunts me. Traumatizes me. It takes me back to when I was molested as a child and I never WAS molested as a child.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    #ItGetsBetter #ThereIsHope

    I will be creating a help group within the next few weeks. I’d appreciate it if you and other would join us. This is something we need to band together to conquer.

    Thank you, and may The Holy Richevens bless you.

  • Percy Gryce

    Let’s hope that @mitchelltaconash:disqus will live by the promise of hashtag.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I was curious about that film. Does what’s-his-face get rid of that incredibly thick accent he has in both District 9 and Elysium?

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I maintain that the “Wacky Kids’ Jokes” things were found footage videos of Richevans’s demonic transformation.
    I’d make the “Blair Rich Project” joke again, but that would mean recycling material.
    And I’ll be DAMNED if I ever find myself recycling jokes or plastic.

  • ChachaIaca

    Is Quick Cuts a Jay thing only?

    I’d like to see something from the rest of the gang.

  • Percy Gryce

    Mike’s Likes
    Rich’s Bitches
    Jack’s Hacks

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Mitch is Rich’s Bitcheses.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This is something Jay does alone at night when everyone else at RLM is fast asleep [aka passed out drunk].

    I’ve a feeling that Jay edits them as well. I think he enjoys editing and has a knack for it [which I appreciate and can relate to].

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I like these “Quick Cuts” reviews.
    There isn’t much of a STORY, but you just like hanging out with Jay.
    The character of Jay is very likable and the actor who portrays him puts forth a really good performance.

  • Percy Gryce

    Hmm, there have been a lot of TV, movie, and documentary treatments of Jonestown. But I can’t think of a treatment of Heaven’s Gate or the Solar Temple self-immolations. I’d be interested in seeing something on those other tragedies.

  • Percy Gryce

    Jay better bring beer next time.

  • Mark Bisone

    Way to cut to the quick, Jack.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Or Diet Coke.
    I’d still get cancer, but at least I’d be able to drive home.
    Drunk driving is the worst, in my opinion. If I was drunk, I’d NEVER have been able to mow down that Korean family with my car with such precision.

  • Joshua Barkdull

    That’s disappointing because this idea has a lot of potential to be a good movie. The Jones Town massacre tapes are some of the most haunting and disturbing audio recordings I have ever heard. There were no cameras present but you could do a movie about it assuming the film centered around one of the few people who fled and survived. Now thanks to this movie, that movie can never be made.

    Also making it a modern day version of The Jones Town Massacre and changing stuff to add drama or what have you could also work as a great movie, but why make it found footage. Why make it partially found footage. Make it documentary style or just a straight up movie. You can add so much to this frame work and end up with such a great movie with hard hitting questions about what it means to have blind faith, and cult culture and group think. It could have been a great movie.

    Instead we get this mess.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “I never WAS molested as a child.”

    We can change that…

    http://i.minus.com/isNe5aV0HaTVT.gif

  • http://rocketboy1313.blogspot.com/ Rocketboy1313

    I had no trouble understanding anyone. It is supposed to be a multinational crew so it’s not bad. For what the movie cost to make it is a masterpiece, but there are a lot of issues.

    I even wrote a diatribe about it in my blog that no one reads:
    http://rocketboy1313.blogspot.com/2014/03/movies-of-2013-science-fiction-pt3.html

  • Percy Gryce

    “No one just sets a camera down while it’s still recording.”–Jay Bauman

    http://youtu.be/J7eSdXLmj9A?t=47m32s

  • LelouchtheFilial

    GAH! A clip from the found footage “Showbiz Pizza Bear” feature.

  • Striker, Ted

    A green mist is gonna be floating down your pants tonight, Nash.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    This is what Jay says every time he tries pitching ‘Space Cop’ to Hollywood.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Shit. AGAIN?

  • Striker, Ted

    No. No, it is not “gonna be great.” Not at all. Who am I kiddin?

    That’s gonna be great.

  • Percy Gryce
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Aww shucks, Percy. Thanks for taking me back.”

  • ThomasHFoolery

    Who is Rich? Or is that short for Richevans?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s *BONNHAM*, you fuck!

  • Alex Three

    I wonder why they didn’t just do a retelling of the events? They could have dramatised it and made it ‘historical fiction’ or something but.. why even make it an alternative place/people/etc?

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    What does Rich Evans do when everyone else at RLM is fast asleep? Masturbate Furiously.

  • ThomasHFoolery

    It could’ve been great.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Mark Bisone

    I got a hard-on for “Frankenstein’s Army” when I heard the summary and saw a few production pics. Looked like it had a few things going for it: good story concept, potential black humor, lots of detailed costumes and craft. So I took a chance and on-demanded-it.

    It was fucking terrible, and I think that was 80% due to its “found footage” format. They could have shot a neat little horror-comedy flick with the material on hand, but instead decided to lard the narrative with a ton of “the-camera-kept-running-for-some-reason” shots that wound up limited the storytelling in increasingly ludicrous ways. The camera setups quickly went from distracting to risible, and by the end you aren’t really watching a movie as much as you are wondering about the production itself, and whether the “found” genre is just an excuse to shit out a low budget movie using an eight-page treatment instead of a script.

    Sad to think Ti West is going along with the Port-A-Potty flow, here. I thought his “House of the Devil” was one of the more cinematic and engaging horror flicks in years. I respect experiments as much as the next guy, but doing a FF knockoff of a well-known cult massacre is shitting the bed twice in one night.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    This movie will be the preface for the re-released version of “Things That Could Have Been Great” by George Lucas.
    It could have been great.

  • ThomasHFoolery

    I thought they lock Rich Evans away in the Game Station before they go to bed every night.

  • JAGUART

    Is this one of those “Found Footage” movies?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s right, JA– GUART?…

  • Mark Bisone

    A “Heaven’s Gate” pitch-black comedy could be good.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Space Cop? Yes.
    Wait, were you talking about Sacrament? It SAYS it’s a found footage movie in the description and, if you’re not too busy to watch a five minute video, Jay states multiple times that, yes, it’s a porno.
    Oh, wait… shit… sometimes my memory gets a little fuzzy…

  • ThomasHFoolery

    The only confirmed show for this season is Jay’s Gays

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I really got my fix of “Cult-Related-Mass-Suicides” from the ‘Brain Scratch’ episode of Cowboy Bebop.
    Even if anime ain’t your thing, I couldn’t recommend this more highly.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    AJ Bowen looks like the lovechild of Billy Mays and Rob McElhenney.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Thanks, TJ Sex-Worker!

    EDIT: HEYOOOOOOOO!

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    I was thinking the same thing

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    I want to see a live action reenactment of Care Boars starring Rich Evans as Slappy, Rich Evans as Silly, Rich Evans as Santa, Rich Evans as Mr. Scary, and guest starring Rich Evans and Rich Evans as “the special areas”

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    So you guys, this movie gave me a great idea for an original new film: it would be a found footage documentary of a cult leader in California named Charles Nanson who convinces a bunch of people to be murderers. Nanson will be a really scary guy because he’ll have a big X on his forehead. And they’ll be all obsessed with a song by this band The Bootles called Frelter Shmelter. What do you think?

  • jaymanxyz2

    What is that? I know it plays at the end of any video, but I’ve never watched it. What’s the deal with it?

  • Vardulon

    At least Mary Marcy May Marlene was subtle about the fact that it was a movie told from the point of view of one of the Manson Family girls. Changing the location/events enough to tell their own story with the same basic premise, using a lot of the real facts for creep factor.

  • JAGUART

    So they shoot this footage, and then find it and stuff?

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Perc, you know that all you need to do if you want to die is look into a mirror and say “Showbizz Pizza Bear” three times.

  • Duckler

    I want to see a sound sootage movie about a group of chimney sweeps who form a barbershop quartet.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    So May the 4th is coming up, and some friends are having a Star Wars costume party. I’m planning to get a pillow, white beard, and flannel shirt and go around knocking drinks out of peoples’ hands and generally ruining things.

  • jaymanxyz2

    There needs to be a found footage movie with Mr. Plinkett as the antagonist.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    I think you meant *hero

    what the hell is an…. antuh-gawn-est?

  • Captain Turbo

    I was watching a found footage film the other day and after the first hour I realized it was just the video of my colonoscopy.

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    4:04 Nice edit Jay…or is it Jack?

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    Pizza rolls!

  • Matt Thermo

    I figured found footage movies were pretty much done with V/H/S. Not done as
    in, they can’t do better than this so don’t bother. Done as in, it was a
    found footage movie about finding footage of people finding found
    footage movies. It was not a parody.

    You’ve pretty much exhausted the genre at that point.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Dude I can totally see it in my head… he would be wearing a poorly-fitting onesie with a paper cut out insignia scotch-taped to his stomach and big clumsy paper mache tusks. He’d be extremely unenthusiastic, and occasionally stop mid sentence and start complaining about doing this. Mike’s voice would be heard, off camera, threatening him, and he would wearily continue, fighting through the tears.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Error 404: Editor Not Found

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    [pizza intensifies]

  • sepiajack

    Great work Jay!

  • Michael Collins

    Great work, now I don’t feel the need to watch this movie I’ve never heard of..

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    Good one. By the way I miss your gifs; since Captain America stole your car, nothing has been the same.

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    I can´t imagine Mike doing these. He´s too dead or frivolous for that. Maybe Jay is the anchor of this company, much like John Paul Jones in Zep.

  • Fred Frink

    I watched the making of Gorilla Interrupted and wanted to know what Garrett Gilchrist is upto. He is one of those my little pony wierdos. You know the pony doll furry fuckers.

  • Duckler

    It’s a bound bootage movie, 90 minutes of people getting their bootlaces tied together – like Human Centipede, but not that at all.

  • Hieronymus Friedrich von Münch

    i think they wanted you to be all like, “this horror movie just ended with the jones town massacre. i see..jones town had all the elements of a creepy horror movie but it really happened!” much like the hit song “horror movie”

  • Duckler

    Don’t leave us hanging Jay, do they ever get to White Castle..?!

  • Percy Gryce

    Showbiz Pizza Bear, what’s wrong with your face?

  • Duckler

    It’s clearly a stroke. We’re going to need that gurney again.

  • Percy Gryce

    I mean the cult leader’s name was Marshall Herff Applewhite and he looked like this. How hasn’t someone made that movie?

  • Percy Gryce

    Fuck you, Tapeworm Bike. Eat my dust.

    Taco, I’m gunnin’ for you.

  • Percy Gryce

    I’m not even going to read your comment. I’m just upvoting your screen name and avatar.

  • Percy Gryce

    I didn’t actually want to die, but waiting for fresh new content here was kinda like a slow death.

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s a rite of passage. You can’t truly join the RLM community–you won’t be fully vested as a Plinkette–until you experience the Care Boars in all their glorious wonder.

  • Percy Gryce

    My god, that queasy expression–perfection.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Oh, I’m still around making those flipbooks, I’ve just been super busy the last few months. If you ever want a gif from an RLM show just let me know.

  • Percy Gryce

    Spoilers!

  • Otto Torrens

    I’d go for VHS 2 if you want a good found footage weird cult horror bit :|

  • Baramos x

    The dearth of any compelling movie releases seems to have caused a lapse in production over at RLM. I suppose them making fun of ASM2 will commence next week, though…

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud
  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    the shitty quality of this image makes it even more horrifying

  • TJ

    Quality over quantity…

    GO FOR THE THROAT

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Mmmm… country fried.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    So did anybody else see the preview image of this video and think it was going to be a movie starring John Goodman?

  • Harry Palm

    As someone that didn’t like ‘House of the Devil’ or ‘The Innkeepers’, I can only scratch my head in befuddlement at the love that Ti West gets.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Can the Nanson followers be the cast from “Mean Girls” to help grab the teenage market for this movie? And instead of an X, can we get an Ampersand on Nanson’s forehead? I think maybe some of the kids might mistake the cult leader for a superhero and upset parents.

  • ThomasHFoolery

    You need to check your replies

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Let’s make it a hashtag on his forehead. That’ll hook in the demographic.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Do us plinkettes do a kick line at the end of each new video? I want to show off these sparkly new outfits I made for everyone.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    “FUCK YOU, BONHAM!” -Jackie Packhard.

  • Percy Gryce

    Anything in particular?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Now you can drive drinking Diet Coke while texting and fiddling with your iPod and take out all of Taiwan. No more MADD members to make you feel guilty.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Isn’t Andy Sirkis the Carrie Fisher CGI double?

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Plinkettes, really? I was gonna suggest Forkbrains.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    This one, you FUCK.

  • Percy Gryce

    Just so.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    it’s ok TapewormBike I Still Love Ya even if you have less comments ( not the Rich Evans Kinda Love Obviously )

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    No no. This one.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    No, really. This one.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Also, I’m pretty sure THESE were The Plinkettes
    http://i.minus.com/ibcntVFtFzleJP.gif

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You should give out VHS copies of the Christmas Special as gifts, then destroy them all with a blow torch.

  • ThomasHFoolery

    You have 99 of them. At least 37 were me trying to order autographed pizza rolls. You fack hraud.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    #makeitso.

  • Percy Gryce

    I did put out an RFP for group name suggestions:

    http://redlettermedia.com/today-the-3rd-annual-stream-a-thon/#comment-1174392868

    And I don’t recall you responding.

    But I do like the Forkbrains.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Christ I was so drunk that night…

  • Percy Gryce

    Wow, where the hell is that from?

  • Percy Gryce

    Good answer. I was actually at work, so no imbibing . . . .

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    How did you gets “that’s” to be in the Stoklasics?

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    The live stage show that Mr. Plinkett did back in the late 90s. Shoji Tabuchi was the headliner.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Was it a good genre to begin with? Being serious, not sarcastic.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Antuh-gawn-est is a Mr. Plinkett prescription to treat his ectopic pregnancy.

  • Wasperheimer

    Never Say Die (1994) was another movie that ripped its plot from Jonestown Massacre. I call it Jonesploitation.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Not John Goodman so much as Kim Jong-il.

  • Percy Gryce

    Arigato, Mrs. Roboto.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Why did you put that song in my head?! WHY?

  • Akka Fakka

    I was actually thinking Tom Sizemore.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa
  • Percy Gryce

    You’re welcome.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Kim Jong-Goodman?

  • tonkemaskin

    The Innkeepers was so unbelievably boring, I cannot even begin to describe it.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    That wasn’t funny enough.

    Time to take you to Prison Camp 14.

  • El_Runko

    I will be a Trigger Man defender ’til death.

    Fucking LOVE that one.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Wasn’t “The Master” kind of close to that? It’s not like Phillip Seymour Hoffman would have lost weight for the role, but….

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I don’t know whether to make that my new screensaver or watch “Mr. Plinkett Eats.”

  • Duckler

    Short answer: maybe.

    Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • Duckler

    So when’s the next episode of Jay Goes To the Movies Alone?

  • Duckler

    I thought that was Mr. Plinkett. Is that not why Jay went to see it?

  • Duckler

    Sploosh!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I wonder if “Downfall” is a good model for a Jonestown Massacre movie to work from.

  • Thanatos2k

    It’s from the Mr. Plinkett Ego Celebration Festival V

  • Thanatos2k

    If only I hadn’t posted for years as Guest….

  • Thanatos2k

    I don’t even think the Jonestown Massacre works as a horror movie. The events are more likely to inspire anger in the audience than fear….

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I like that all the top commenters’ avatars are in some way faces, except sepiajack, who looks like a bowl of soup.

  • Fartastic

    How did you know how to correctly mispronounce an unknown word that is written correctly? Is that the script lying next to you? How the fuck am I supposed to believe your bullshit impersonation of a stroke victim? Answer me, noseless thing with the dollar bill going through its neck!

  • Fartastic

    Excellent choice, Sir.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    that’s right mike!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I think a Jonestown horror movie concept would work better if the movie started as the last person drank the kool-aid, and the journalists started showing up.

  • omitted

    Looking good, Jay! Now take off your shirt…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Hello. You called? :)

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What flipbooks?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I misread “I can totally see it in my bed”. Damn you, Percy!

  • sepiajack

    I was thinking an interesting take on this would be to have the isolated cult in the jungle like in this movie, but before any of the inevitable bad stuff can go down, an actual horror movie monster starts snatching members into the jungle to devour, and it becomes about them vs the monster. Would make for unconventional protagonists. I guess sort of like M Night Shylaman’s the VIllage, if there had been ACTUAL monsters, and no dumb twist

  • Guest

    Text
    Remove space between i and >

  • sepiajack

    Yeah I thought it was John Goodman too!

  • sepiajack

    It’s actually a weird reflection at the bottom of a transparent Tea pot!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s a-me!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    No one else is lonely enough to go to the movies alone.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Me too. But I was too far down in the comments to get to it in time. So I jammed a fork in my brain and let it play in the background. Oh, gorn.

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    Sorry man, couldn´t remember who was it :D. Nice theft

  • Robert Fitl

    Yes!

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Dem crease lines

  • Kidakor

    The Safe Haven segment of VHS 2 started out promising enough – very promising, in fact – with all the creepiness surrounding the refreshingly exotic Indonesian cult and its greatly acted leader, but then it descends into pure schlock (the shitty kind) once they try to put a supernatural twist on sectarian mass suicide. Okay, summoning the Anti-Christ/Devil makes kind of sense given the religious context, but it’s just so jarring to the perfectly worldly horror they built up to that point. And then it cements its status as a turd with that hilariously amateur-looking puppet they try to pass off as Hell’s spawn. VHS 2 is a sharp decline in quality compared to its predecessor, and VHS already sucked huge honking monkey dicks.

    I wonder if Ti West saw it and was so disappointed/enraged he resolved on the spot to shoot a better version by using no twists whatsoever.

  • thatsrightjay

    if next weeks free content (to which i’m entitled) is another two minute fraudenhacker, i’m initiating the rlm community that’s right jay jones massacre

  • Otto Torrens

    Why do you think it’s worse? Me and my friends thought the final 2 pieces of VHS 2 were better than all the other stuff in the 2 movies combined.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Thpoilers!*, Mr President

  • Kidakor

    The cult bit and the one with the annoying kiddies getting killed off by the extras-in-green-grey-pajamas aliens? If you like schlocky, goofy horror I’m sure this has entertainment value; if you want serious horror, however… The first installment at least tried, but still failed because, well, it’s found footage.

    This genre is one of those fundamentally flawed concepts that never work, yet seem to never go away, like prequels (or have a long staying power like FMV games).

  • Memoman

    The words “A man, we can all agree, is a decade late on a massive heart attack” immediately started playing in my mind.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    I can’t think of anything witty or snarky to say in return because your comment made me laugh too hard. I really liked the idea of someone angrily yelling at my stupid little MSpaint icon drawing, thank you.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    yea.. but, oddly enough:

    http://gifprint.com/

  • Roger Sterlings Lucky Strikes

    Too bad. I am a huge fan of House of the Devil and The Innkeepers. I’ll wait to see it on Netflix.

  • Otto Torrens

    At what point in the film did the kids die ?

  • Percy Gryce

    Don’t damn me all to hell. You need to curse Faddlechud.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Hmm… What if I made a flipbook out of that gif of a flipbook of a gif?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    But your comment above is the key to all of this.

  • Now I Get It

    I bust my ass making shit up, but every horrible, arcane thing you bat out proves to be real.

    There ought to be a law.

  • Now I Get It

    Hey, the downvotes are back.

  • Jeremy Davis

    When is the next Plinkett review?

  • Mark

    Yes you forgot “WHAAAAAAT?!”

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s a funnier comment than we’ve ever had before–if we can get it working.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s so dense, each pixel has so many things going on.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I used to have my own face on there, but my handsomeness was distracting everyone from taking me seriously.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Guest you should have known better.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He’s the hero Hollywood deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Those puns are either too funny or just very, very bad. Either way I skipped over laughing and my eyebrow just raised. My brain was tickled a bit, although that may be my strokes acting up again.

    Here, have an upvote.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Ahh yes, a movie made by committee.

    I’ll be back next year with a bunch of dump trucks to collect all the money we just made. :D

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He’s channelling his character from Gorilla, Interrupted.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Nice try, Ti West. You can’t fool us.

  • Striker, Ted

    The history channel version was actually pretty harrowing.

  • Striker, Ted

    That’s right Mark.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What, no love for ‘Virgins’?

    That can be taken in more than one way.

  • stryker1121

    I can take or leave found footage flicks at this point. As long as this movie doesn’t have that stupid asshole who kicked the map in the stream for no reason. Really wanted to smack that guy.

  • Duckler

    Bad puns are the new currency. Also, all restaurants are Taco Bell.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Remove the spaces.

  • Duckler

    Are you sure you didn’t want to “stryke” that guy?

  • Duckler

    Gungas

  • stryker1121

    that’ll do

  • Kidakor

    After they get beamed up in the mothership and served nicely roasted, presumably.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Now I Get It

    Yes, so much easier to deal with than that old-fangled tease Don’t Fuck Me But Come Back Tomorrow I’m Grace.

    http://www.filmofilia.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Grace_Kelly.jpg

    Theft: 14
    Bryan Ferry: 0

  • swameleon

    When is that fucking space cock movie coming out you fags?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I enjoyed Chronicle in spite of it’s “found footage” style, which made less and less sense as it went on. I mean, this is what would have needed to have happened for it to be “found footage”. Someone would have needed to find the old camera that Andrew was originally filming on, the cameras that Matt and that other chick Casey were using, they would have needed to hike up to the Himalayas and find the camera that Matt left there [which is fucking impossible because he didn't tell anybody he was doing so and it's the fucking Himalayas, that camera is as good as gone], and they would have needed to painstakingly find every single cell phone, camera, and security camera that filmed the final fight scene [and other various shots throughout] and edit that shit together in Chroniclogical order. Yyyyeeeeea–NO!

    I mean, if your filming method makes that little sense, then why bother with it? I think they realized that there’s a market for found footage that could reasonably outweigh the benefits financially, making the artistic risk worth it. That’s unfortunate as I feel the film would have been a lot better had they stuck with a more traditional filming style. Instead, I was taken out of the film a bunch of times as they needed to come up with increasingly implausible and stupid ways of filming the narrative.

    With al that being said, when the fuck will Space Cop be out?!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Is that a GIF of a video of a flipbook of a GIF of a video of a cat?…

    Faddlechud, you may have gone too far in a few places.

  • bassbait

    F*** you Jeremy Davis!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s Super Cop, you fucking pleb.

  • bassbait

    How did it end?

  • bassbait

    You either die the hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the Plinkett.

  • bassbait

    Darn, I was a millionaire before the new currency, and now it’ll take way too schlong to get that all back!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    With an orgasm, obviously.

  • bassbait

    I’m going to make about a politician/military leader named Michael Baydolf Titler, and he’s going to invade the country of polejob and enslave all of the fat racist cartoons and force them to work on concentration lamps. I’ll call it World Bore 2 and it’ll star Megan Sox, sound good?

  • John Dough

    Are there any other websites or Youtube channels that are like RLM? I like RLM and all but I need my weekly fix and if the guys can`t provide that then I`m thinking of looking elsewhere (A rushed five minute review of a movie no one cares about isn`t going to cut it).

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Are you trying to tell us something? Do you think you’re a funnier character than we’ve had before?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    John… d’oh!

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s a little bit generic–like certain CGI piece-of-shit characters.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    They’re making a goddamn MOVIE, motherfucker.
    Y’know, South Park makes new episodes weekly, but they take the Summer off to recharge their creative juices and work on other projects.
    RLM makes new content ALL YEAR, the trade-off being that it’s not going to be your monkey-boy and post new shit every week just because you demand it.
    Oh, you don’t like the five-minute reviews? You think they’re rushed?
    Well, shit, things’ll be a LOT less rushed if they post new content every week, right? What, with the shooting, the editing, the fact that maybe (though it’s a stretch) they have personal lives.
    Just listen to yourself, huh?

  • LelouchtheFilial

    “It’s SUPER COP!”
    “With that fucking gun!”
    I did, like, a Robocop thing.

  • Percy Gryce

    That sounds a little rape-y.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    You know, he’s never going to beat Rich Evans for the distinction of “funniest character”… no one can.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Where do you think this is?

  • Percy Gryce

    Fair point.

  • thatsrightjay

    will it quick cut it?

  • omitted

    If Game of Thrones has taught me anything, it’s that “No!” means “Yes!”…

  • Duckler

    More drink, less think!

  • My ex wife

    Jeremy Davis is the key to all this. If we get Jeremy Davis working.

  • Duckler

    So they should clearly contact you about their next month’s studio rent, then? Thanks for helping out!

  • My ex wife

    Off to Youtube we go!

  • Duckler

    What’s left, Rich Evans?

  • Josh Noble

    There isn’t a chance in hell Rich has a personal life.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I said it was a stretch, but maybe I was being too optimistic.

  • LelouchtheFilial
  • LelouchtheFilial
  • LelouchtheFilial
  • LelouchtheFilial

    I’m done now.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    #1.
    I, like… used the hashtag to mean “number.”
    We’re doing a Ster Trak thing.

  • Meester Smeeth

    So is Ti West just like another Eli Roth where he got lucky with a couple of half-decent films and everything else is pretty much awful garbage?

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    *Earth Fight 2

  • Duckler

    Mucho much.

  • Meester Smeeth

    Have patience. Try watching some Kermode and Mayo, or Film Brain’s Bad Movie Beatdown on That Guy With The Glasses The Dot Com. But mainly have patience.

    I’m glad Quick Cuts is back. It’s better than nothing. I thought they’d forgotten about it.

  • Meester Smeeth

    I figured as mucho. Much.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud
  • Meester Smeeth

    “Mike! Do you have any idea how hot I am right now?! Shut up!! And let me take my time getting this tusk on, for your stupid Care Boars reboot!!!”

  • Mijk

    You ruined this, too?

    What’s with all the Jeremies?

  • My ex wife

    Do that and we all end up in purgatory.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Are you sure it wasn’t the clown makeup?

    But seriously, if you had bewbs like I do, everyone would treat you with respect, admiration, high regard, honor, reverence, appreciation, awe, adoration-

    Oh….. shit. I dropped my thesaurus.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Backhanded compliments get you laid, or so I heard.

  • Percy Gryce

    A classic–inspired by yours truly, if I recall correctly.

  • Jason Ross

    I see what you did there.
    That said,
    4.3/10.0

  • Jason Ross

    Thirty Chinamen and a zeppelin requested for an elaborate birthday joke. Please reply if you have access to either.

  • Gene Parmesan

    Totally agree about Ti west, and was thinking about watching this one even though I knew it was found footage. Thanks for letting us know it ain’t worth it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Boobs or it didn’t happen.

    Er, I mean pics or it didn’t happen.

    Dropping your thesaurus, that is, not your boobs.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I was harkening back to a simpler era… where some douche-bag commenter was calling it ‘Super Cop’.

  • sepiajack

    Which ever movie is confirmed for Jay.

  • sepiajack

    Congrats Taco, you have the most Meow meow beans!

  • infernocanuck

    Step 1: Fork in the Brain

    Step 2: Fork in the Brain

    Step Brain: Fork in the Brain

    ForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrainForkinthebrain. Fork.

  • swameleon

    But really when is the next plinkett review??????

  • Now I Get It

    Yay, boo. Yay, my boo.

  • Now I Get It

    My life begins today.

  • Bacchus

    Go watch the movie Dig! instead. The Brian Jonestown Massacre are far more entertaining and it features the line “You fucking broke my sitar, motherfucker!”

  • thatsrightjay

    i take what i can get

  • Dradeeus .

    I think “found footage” gets sort of a bad rap. The problem is, ironically, that directors and creators can’t help themselves, they need to set up shots, they need to get stuff in frame, which is NOT THE POINT OF FOUND FOOTAGE. Found footage is scary/interesting because of what you CAN’T see or understand as just some random shmuck stuck in a bad situation.

  • ident

    It also depends on what you are trying to do with it. A romantic comedy wouldn’t work as a found footage film and neither would, in my opinion, a giant monster movie. I agree that the concept has potential when its limitations are understood and it’s used in the service of an appropriate story.

  • Arek Sałata

    I liked this movie. It looks pretty much like a VICE documentary, And while the found footage sequences were quite obnoxious, I had no problem with them as they consisted of only small part of the movie.
    Best scene – definitely Interview followed by recreation of the “Death tape”. Gene Jones was great Jim Jones.

  • catnep

    Probably won’t see this one. However, we did watch House of the Devil on Jay’s recommendation. Quite watchable. I thought it had a John Carpenter vibe both visually and in the way the story slowly built up before all hell broke loose. Of course the babysitter plot reminded me of Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween. Worth a view if you’re looking for something creepy that isn’t found footage.

  • NotRickBerman

    Cloverfield was an interesting take on the big monster found footage movie. The problem is once it’s been done, it can’t really be repeated.

    I agree with Jay that the biggest downfall of these types of movies is that there will always be scenes in the “found footage” that no one in their right mind would ever be shooting. Doc filmmakers will not clumsily set a rolling camera down and walk away. Home owners don’t set up security cameras in their kitchens, etc..

    Adam Sandler movies should all be done as found footage:

    “In 2014, Adam Sandler set out to make a sequel to Jack and Jill. He was never heard from again.”

    The remaining 90 minutes is nothing but a blank screen while movie audiences applaud wildly.

  • Pissernacht

    That sounds like a wet dream come true! It would involve even less effort on Sandler’s part and the audience doesn’t have to sit through his obnoxious man-child act!

  • NotRickBerman

    It’s gonna be great.

  • StopThinkingBrainUrGoingToHurt

    The problem with Quick Cuts is that I have to watch two 30 second commercials with a five minute masturbaition break in-between just to see Care Boars.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    bro

  • Joe Schmoe

    Like Kevin Smith

  • harumph

    House of the Devil and The Innkeepers aren’t “slow burn.” They’re “nothing happens until the last ten minutes.” Withholding action is not synonymous with building tension. Rosemary’s Baby is slow burn. House of the Devil is a dumb girl wandering around aimlessly for an hour and 15 minutes before a bunch of satanic movie cliches get thrown at you in the last 10 minutes.

  • Stef Sarch

    The guy from the poster is Plinkett.

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  • Duckler

    Only ever heard of the guy after his his V/H/S short, but his was clearly the best of the lot. Still, probably not going to seek this one out.

    Thanks, Jay! When’s the next Pork Pork?

  • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

    Keep it coming, Jay. Your Quick Cuts are pretty cool.

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  • Baron Teapot

    Hahahah! Ohhh, I love it. Poor Rich Evans. He seems like such a nice guy! I just wanna hug him.

  • Baron Teapot

    But your brain did.

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  • Meester Smeeth

    I watched The Innkeepers the other night. I found it genuinely chilling in some places. I haven’t felt chilled by a film since I was a kid. I also found it quite amusing. I thought Sara Paxton (who I’ve decided I love) and Pat Healy played off each other really well. The only thing I was a little disappointed with was the ending which I felt was a bit of an anti-climax. It just seemed, oh, is that it? Other than that, I really enjoyed it and would watch it again. Gonna have to seek out The House Of The Devil.

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