Pre Rec: Rocket League

September 4, 20153,941 Comments

Jack and Rich play Rocket League, which is possibly the most funnest game ever.


Filed in: Previously Recorded

  • El_Runko

    One day when I tell my great-grandchildren that I was there at the very beginning of the Bearded Rich Evans era, they probably won’t believe me.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Donkey Dick!

  • Som

    as long as are your not there for the post Bearded Rich Evans era, dark times indeed

  • K.L

    When the hell will these two hacks talk about Metal Gear Solid V?

  • Palpatine

    Yay, new content, oh, it’s just Pre-Rec.

  • Dan Hibiki

    I’m Mad to the Max that this isn’t about Metal Gear instead!

  • M Hedonist

    Tuesday

  • Palpatine

    Sorry, Jack doesn’t like games with cutscenes in them.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    WHERE IS THE PHANTOM PAIN REVIEW?! Unsubscribed!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The birthday boy?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the wait for real content continues…

  • Palpatine

    See my response to the guy below.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    All joking aside, I don’t hate Pre Rec at all.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    As a person who has played the game there isn’t a lot of cutscenes. It’s like MGS4 when the final cutscene clocked in over an hour.

  • Dan Hibiki

    MEDIOCRE!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Kaz, I’m already shiny and chrome.

  • Percy Gryce

    Judicial = relating to a judge
    Judicious = prudent

  • Palpatine

    I am awaited in Valhalla!

  • K.L

    The intro/start of the game had a really bad pace, but other than that, it’s pretty ok.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I love how Rich’s shirt is too big for him.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The beginning was great and well paced and then how they get back into the world was a bit odd. After that flawless pacing.

  • Palpatine

    Who’s mediocre?

  • James Earl Jones

    New content! Yay!
    Now, if we could get some BOTW goodness in the next couple of hours…

  • Palpatine

    I love how Jack has his mic taped to his shirt.

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • James Earl Jones

    Thank you, Susan.

  • instant relief

    Yay, new contempt!

  • José Worf Goldstein Zaragoza

    I just bougth this game yesterday coincidentally, It’s a blast! I agree with everything you guys said.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Now Rich has me thinking about his ass and flowers. FUCK YOU, RICH!

  • TechyBen .

    At about 12 mins in… I realise. You get it. You really get it!

  • Red Skeleton

    I thought this was going to be about Rocket Knight Adventure…

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    But…Snake!

  • FIRST!

  • paintitswe

    Jack and Rich you should play Elite: Dangerous! I would love to hear your thought on it.

  • Palpatine

    Does it have cutscenes in it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Plissken?

  • instant relief

    You say that like it’s a bad thing.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    to get drunk?

  • Red Skeleton

    You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  • instant relief

    LIKE A BOSS! KEK!

  • Jonah Falcon

    I’m at work and it’s making me want to masturbate in public.

  • Palpatine

    In line to kill Jar Jar?

  • Palpatine

    I wonder if Rich and Jack will review the new Star Wars game when it comes out?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Do you mean Lego Star Wars Episode VII:the video game?

  • Like Icare

    How can you be snobby European by calling sportsball sportsball?
    It’s sportsball!

    What are you supposed to call it? Sportsball? What is that even supposed to mean?
    Sportsball is sportsball. There’s nothing snobby or “European” about that.

  • Palpatine

    No, Battlegrounds or whatever it’s called.

  • Bubs

    So if we’re to take this “review” of Rocket League at face value, we would all believe that Rocket League is a perfect game designed by angels. It’s not.

    It’s a really good game, and I highly recommend it because it’s a lot of fun. But you didn’t point out ANY of the flaws of the game. Like constant leavers, issues with the bot AI, or the lack of additional game modes. Can’t have any of THAT in a review, now can we?

  • Palpatine

    I was waiting for you to comment.

  • Bubs

    I hope I satisfied you.
    #OmittedIsInsideMe

  • Palpatine

    I love it when you go all Plinkett on Pre Rec.

  • Jonathan Jimenez

    I fucking love Rocket League

  • Percy Gryce

    Here’s a dramatic representation of the RLM comments:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QajyNRnyPMs

  • Bubs

    Maybe I should start a Game-Review-Show Review Show.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I see John Travolta is crusin’ for dudes at 3 AM

  • Percy Gryce

    Anhole-may.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Adele Dazeem?

  • Like Icare

    It’s a club, not a gym, goddammit!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    if you have a pre-established fanbase that will pretend everything you make is great sure go for it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Still it’s 3 AM

  • Palpatine

    Wow, that was really cool!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It lacked Rogers and Clarke from Ishtar performing.

  • Bubs

    That’s true… maybe I should first do a review show about Hot Dogs, since that’s what I REALLY know. Then once that takes off, I’ll switch over to something completely unrelated, but pretend like I still know what I’m talking about.

  • Palpatine

    Take that shit to the RLM Reddit.

  • Amontillado

    Mad Max 6: Deserted League of Rocket Wasteland. See ya in a year!

  • Amontillado

    And lo in the eleventh hour did Rich’s beard join the Wizard’s and Jay’s to halt the swelling masses of the clean shaven.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Battletoads?

  • Amontillado

    Damnit Jim I’m a doctor not a go go dancer!

  • Like Icare

    Check out the rest of his work. This one’s an oldie but goldy.
    And I don’t mean the goldish tint to everything.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Az8cOVAEwmM

  • Amontillado

    Are you sure this isn’t the fabled Manhole?

  • Like Icare

    Dammit Jim, I’m a Scientologist not a scientist!

    Too soon?

  • Like Icare

    Paging Dr. Boss Nass. Dr. @boss_nass:disqus please report to the thread.

  • Like Icare

    Snake is not Susan, so watch what you say.

    I don’t even know what that means.

  • Amontillado

    To welcome you back to the dating pool?

  • Amontillado

    Don’t worry, this anaconda don’t bite … hard.

  • Amontillado

    Sssh sssh, there there just let it happen, you can’t fight it, no one can…

  • Like Icare
  • RLMkeepitup

    It’s battlefront Palpatine check your facts

  • Like Icare
  • Amontillado

    Dammit Jim when I asked if Nurse Chapel was fully loaded I didn’t mean get her drunk!

  • RLMkeepitup

    Rich’s expression in the thumbnail and the mic taped to Jacks shirt. I’m laughing before I even click on this.

  • Amontillado

    Talk about a sticky situation! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkmV9mnUTC4

  • Amontillado

    “We just mind our own business down here at the dump. Nobody comes down
    here fucking with anybody. I’m just bottling liquor… that’s my job.
    Paid by the hour, no bullshit. Bottling Ray’s Good Liquor. It’s a dirty,
    sassy liquor. Ahhh… so sassy.” Saint Bubbles the First, 1472 AD

  • Like Icare

    It’s a common misconception that Chappelle is a nurse.
    He just deals with a lot of drugs.
    http://www.mixunit.com/cms/uploads/products/descriptionimages/CLOT03025_d1_.gif

  • Amontillado

    Goddammit it’s spork for fuck’s sake! Not utility fork or interesting spoon, but a goddamn blasted SPORK! Now where’s my rum and coke?

  • Amontillado

    Suck up

  • Amontillado

    I love corgis.

  • Amontillado

    Tomorrow

  • Amontillado

    Donkey PUNCH!

  • Like Icare
  • instant relief

    You say that like you haven’t done that before.

  • Amontillado

    It all went downhill went Dave decided to extend the gig: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTTe-rxTyh0

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    Worst Alien sequel ever.
    Ripley doesn’t even get to handle the powerloader by herself.

  • paintitswe

    no.

  • Bubs

    While they were probably right about Rocket League’s servers being deserted in a year, and populated by ultra pros who will skull fuck you, this shouldn’t dissuade you from buying the game. Why? Well, let me tell you!

    Because – and this is another thing they didn’t even mention – Rocket League has fucking PC LOCAL COOP! (Which is unheard of, because who has friends over anymore, amiright?) So even if you can’t find a good game online, you can still play with your boyfriend/girlfriend/brother/sister/creepy uncle Joe. Plus, who cares what the game is like in a year? It’s fun right fuckin now. As a note: Not picking on you. I’m just sayin’.

  • Like Icare

    What is this “friends over” you’re talking about?
    Is that like an app? Do I need a Facebook for that?
    Can I put it in my 4K teevee with my you-ass-be hidmee?
    Cause I’d like it to be in 4 Ks and not in some lesser number of Ks.

  • TapewormBike

    Yeah, close. Except we look cooler on the dancefloor.

  • TapewormBike

    Skimming the comments – why would you want to hear about MGS V? Cars hit balls! WEEEEE!

  • Like Icare

    Car crashes resulting in testicular injury are not a wee matter.

  • TapewormBike

    Why don’t you marry it, then?!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So much you would jerk off a droid toy?

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Donkey Dick Rich.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    MGSV has boobies. To quote an Italian filmmaker “I WANT TO SEE BOOBIES!”

  • TapewormBike

    And the soundtrack is tits as well

  • Palpatine

    And does this game have boobies? No! It doesn’t! Because it’s for eight year old kids, that’s why.

  • TapewormBike

    Luckily, my mental age corresponds with that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Witcher 3 has multiple boobies!

  • TapewormBike

    Is there a Total Recall game?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes but it’s on the NES and it sucks ass balls.

  • Palpatine

    Mine is more like twelve, which is why I like violence and boobs in my games.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Rich mentioning N64 and Doom to awaken the old people in the room.

  • Palpatine

    “Ass balls”. That’s an AVGN word, isn’t it?

  • TapewormBike

    As long as you had the cootie shot properly administred,

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes, I use them a lot. Shitload of fuck is one I use too often.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They need to change their Depends.

  • Palpatine

    I enjoy his stuff, especially his horror movie reviews he does every October.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’ll never review Rainbow’s Remedy.

  • TapewormBike

    Rolfe is a cool guy. Can’t say I am that into AVGN, but his movie stuff is great. It oozes fandom more than critical analysis and I for one am OK with that.

  • Palpatine

    You don’t man, that’s a pretty scary movie right there.

  • Palpatine

    Agreed.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *anal-sis

  • Wizard Phoenix

    True but it’s cursed.

  • TapewormBike

    Ah yes, Doom. Great Wolfenstein clone.

  • Palpatine

    I can see James as a guest host on BotW. Either him or Brad Jones aka the Cinema Snob.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You know, gamer people, what are your favorite games like ever? I would tell you mine but you call me a freak.

  • TapewormBike

    I am not a gamer, but I am a freak and it seriously is MGS2. Yes, I said it.

  • Palpatine

    I have a lot of nostalgia for the games from Sony’s Big Three. You know, the ones from the early 2000’s.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The big three being a space cannon and two Death Stars?

  • Palpatine

    If you were a kid in the early 2000’s, you’d know what I’m talking about.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So Jak and Daxter, Crash Bandicoot, and Ratchet and Clank.

  • Palpatine

    I didn’t play Crash, but I did play the other two along with Sly Cooper. Did you?

  • RLMkeepitup

    I remember playing the Oregon Trail in elementary,wolfenstein in middle school. By high school they took away everything but sim city. Now everyone has a phone so it don’t matter

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No I was busy playing this smart game called Halo 2.

  • Palpatine

    Never played Halo. Was it fun?

  • RLMkeepitup

    best multiplayer game of the time and birth of xbox live

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Are you implying Xbox Live came out of someone’s vagina?

  • Palpatine

    I was a PS2 kid.

  • RLMkeepitup

    if you ask someone on there they’d surely say Yeah You’re Mommas

  • TapewormBike

    All we had in elementary was this stupid version of Snake with a train. The next one I remember is Unreal Tournament in highschool.

  • Palpatine

    Got to love them ten year olds on X-Box Live.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Me too at first and I was subscribed to the official playstation magazine

  • RLMkeepitup

    that must’ve been fun. I still have a copy of UT 2004 on my desktop cause its a good shooter and low requirements

  • TapewormBike

    PS2 is where I dropped off, PS1 was my gaming highlight. I had the sub to Official Playstation Magazine as well. Demo discs were like half of my collection.

  • TapewormBike

    Carnally?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It was and the campaign for every game is some of the best single player stuff out there. Even Halo 4 who had the dumbest villain ever.

  • Palpatine

    I don’t know what that word means, so no.

  • RLMkeepitup

    you could play the entire campaign split screen or over live for several of the games. few games even today offer that

  • TapewormBike

    https://i.imgur.com/j5VtBM7.jpg Fuck you, Tom Hardy, you don’t get to be this adorable.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But Halo while my fix for first person shooters is not my favorite video game space opera.

  • TapewormBike

    Go on, mister Mysterious.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It is Mass Effect.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Bubs

    Final Fantasy Tactics. (Original PS version with bad translation ONLY, not the updated Gameboy Advance one)

    I have seriously played that game 10… maybe 20 times and the game is a little different every fucking time. It’s so awesome. I would buy it dinner, fuck it, and marry it the next day. It’s a perfect game up until you meet Orlandu, who literally is so powerful the rest of the game is broken. But you can just choose not to put him in your party, then the game is perfect.

    ETA: Just talking about it made me want to go play it again.

  • Palpatine

    Wow, I didn’t know him and Sarah Jessica Parker were together.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    that’s max landis you shitlord.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Silent Hill 2. Portal. Hotline Miami. Warcraft III. Prince of Persia Sands of Time trilogy. Gta:Vice City and countless others.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Colin laugh*

  • broncotruck11

    Would it kill you to wear your lav under your shirt?

  • Bubs

    Yes. Most people don’t know this, but Jack has a rare allergy to microphones. Putting his mic under his shirt would cause him to swell up as if he’d been stung by a trillion African bees. Only 1 in 12,000 hipsters are afflicted by this disease.

  • Sparkles Peterson

    Is that what happened to him in Feeding Frenzy?

  • broncotruck11

    OH MY GAWD! I did not know that….what a terrible disorder to have.

  • Palpatine

    Or, you know, he could’ve clipped it to his shirt.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Nah

  • Palpatine

    Everyone should tape a mic to their shirts. Obama should do that during his next speech.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Speaking of Nah look at this! It might be a young Tommy Wiseau! A photo of him from his home planet!

    http://i.imgur.com/rSAwiYF.jpg

  • Palpatine

    Ew.

  • RLMkeepitup

    most likely to naht beat his wife

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He did not hit her! It’s not true! He did not hit! He did naaaught. Oh hai, RLMkeepitup!

  • This game seems to steal it’s idea from an episode of Top Gear where they played soccer using SUV’s.

  • Did somebody said Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor?! DAMN!

  • Gallen_Dugall

    I agree with Mister Evans. Multiplayer games < single player games. Also grinding for stuff in games isn't gameplay, it's padding.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    It’s just better when they hate the game, their “The Order 1886” review is funny as hell.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Anything GTA, anything Fallout/Elder Scrolls…basically anything where you can fuck around and not have to actually play the game.

    For the record though if you went by hours of life wasted, the Civ series has probably stolen 2500 hours of my life.

  • Like Icare
  • Amontillado

    It’s those damn redneck bureaucracy. Any chance they get, they just want to bend you over and do it in the ass, with a gimp.

  • Amontillado

    “Look Christmas is a time to be with family, so go home and get stoned with your family. I’m going right now to join my friends Bubbles and I’m going to get drunk and stoned, and play some Rocket League.”
    – Ricky Ticky Tavi the Third, Esq., 1748

  • Amontillado

    Not legal yet in Arkansas

  • Amontillado

    Just don’t eat any pizza.

  • Amontillado

    Looks more like a young Exterminator

    http://kindertrauma.com/images/confessions/hack/hack4.jpg

  • Ogrot

    Oh lots of games for so many different reasons.

    Civ 2 was a great little strategy game whose simple architecture helped me learn how those things worked. I loved fucking around, modding the ini files and the graphics to create little units, rename technologies, and create all kinds of little scenarios powered by the engine.

    Dark Souls introduced me to Miyazaki’s wonderful sense of design and direction. The game is a modern masterpiece where the game environment itself propels and informs the narrative rather than a bunch of dialogue trees. Oddly apropos since the game has a multiplayer element that is still more active than you’d expect more than three years after its launch.

    Wing Commander Privateer. An open galaxy MS DOS game where you could be a space pirate who sells slaves to mines and drugs to star bases in a customized ship you bought. What more could you want!

    Ogre Battle on SNES. It hit that strategy and rpg sweetspot with a wide cast of units and characters. It also had that Japanese art style in the spritework that was reminiscent of other games with great art direction like Secret of Mana. It was kind of on the easy side, however.

    Maniac Mansion for NES was my introduction to the adventure game genre and I still feel a fondness for it. It’s actually a little funnier to play as an adult because the cheese that went over my head as a kid is actually very endearing. Almost everything made with the LucasArts scumm engine is memorable.

    Baldur’s Gate introduced me to Bioware. Which was a great relationship all the way to Mass Effect 3.

  • Like Icare

    Man has a thing for doggies.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6nWJ5NDYMU

    And you don’t wanna threaten his doggie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Look at this idiot I found in the comments.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z35FU-J1I8

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Which idiot?

  • Domo

    That’s not a horse ninja, you hack!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The one I keep calling kid.

  • Palpatine

    When did this happen again?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Children are dumb and claim they’re 33.

  • Palpatine

    Where did you argue with him at?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s fun to look at morons.

  • Palpatine

    ANSWER ME, YOU FUCK!!!

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    I got your back bro; your youtube back.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    In the comments of the video I linked above.

  • Domo

    If Rocket League ever needs new skins for their vehicles, RLM has a perfect model ready and set to go.

    It even has a Jay Bauman inside! Adorable!

    http://i.imgur.com/yen41kx.jpg

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s not cool making fun of exceptional individuals that like the prequels.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    As much as I liked Doom and Doom II, I always felt like Heretic was better. Flying, leaning, etc.

  • Palpatine

    Oh, I thought you meant you argued with him in the comments on this site. My bad.

  • Palpatine

    How can someone over the age of thirteen like the Prequels?

  • Doctor John Smith

    KotoR

  • Louis Toadvine

    good lord rich. we’re all happy you’re losing weight but can you please use some of your patreon bucks to buy a smaller shirt? You look like an elderly vagrant.

  • Palpatine

    That’s because he is a vagrant. He has to live at the warehouse RLM uses as their studio.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    *hairloss, you meant *hairloss. No big deal, he just needs a gibber merkin.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Rich Evans, not a fashion plate.

  • broncotruck11

    He’s obviously gonna be green screened later.

  • broncotruck11

    The one you called kid one time?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Set comments to newest first. and phasers to over-kill.

  • Jay Stein

    They’re from the same people at the dawn of FPS. Doom, Quake and Wolfenstein are like a holy trinity in gaming

  • Jay Stein

    Half Life series
    Doom series
    Bioshock series
    Mass Effect series
    Wolfenstein: New Order
    RAGE
    Portal series
    Quake 4
    Metro Last Light
    Tron 2.0
    Jedi Academy (for the Light saber multiplayer)
    Pinball Arcade
    Batman series
    Mortal Kombat X
    Mario Kart
    The Games I want coming soon are:
    Doom
    Mad Max (out now)
    Fallout 4
    And the new Destiny crap that’s coming soon

  • Doctor John Smith

    When i started high school there was 20 Apple II’s and 150 typewriters.
    When i left there was 300 x486 PC’s.
    Now my phone is a more powerful computer than all of them combined.

  • Alex Lee

    I really doubt it, or at least Rich won’t. It’s nothing but multiplayer.

  • Palpatine

    The comments of the guy in the video that Wizard Phoenix posted below got me thinking. Which fan base is the most pathetic one?

  • Jay Stein

    My first was a Commodore 64 at school, and then my Dads office full of Apple IIe’s, then 15 years later the 486 with math co-processor, the finally the Pentiums all the way to the I-series

  • Jay Stein

    Every one, if you think about it…

  • Yauzah!

  • Palpatine

    Bronies and furries are the worst.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Bronies.

  • Jay Stein

    Ha! I have a friend who “went Bronie” he’s a fellow of small stature and is half Chinese with a hair-lip. I kid you not.

  • RLMkeepitup

    hm I always remember seeing the box for those games and wondered. will have to try them some time

  • RLMkeepitup

    in the good ole days if someone liked the prequels we’d just stone them and be done. you end the gene pool there, midichlorians need a host

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sonic.

  • RLMkeepitup

    it will truly be the first priceless DLC content

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • Joe Syxpac

    The lighting on this one is really bad.

    It’s like they’re shooing it in a warehouse or something.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Jack gets the hand me down shit with the broken clip. So he has to make do.

    They haven’t really accepted him yet.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Is it just me, or is the bar for what a great video game is set really really low?

  • junkevil

    so, you found a week old comment on a star wars video on youtube, replied to it and told him the prequels are bad because plinkett said they are. then you instantly ad-hom and pat yourself on the back for how clever you are.

  • Bubs

    I can only think of two: Democrats and Republicans. Is there anything more ridiculous than seeing a grown fucking man say something like, “The reason I don’t have a job is because of those guys on the blue team.” What could be more childish and sad than blaming your problems on “that other guy”. And what could be more pathetic than picking a team and saying, “Well, now that I’m on this team. Everyone else is wrong. Fact.”

    I’m laughing at all the little blue and red ants from my high tower of free thought.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey this isn’t tumblr.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *bathhouse

  • TapewormBike

    I’ve studied psychology, I know all about Id.

  • TapewormBike

    Furries are not really a fandom per se though

  • TapewormBike

    Anything gets to be pathetic if taken without clear minded criticism in a longterm.

    shifty eyes

  • TapewormBike

    What, if it’s fun? What else is there to care about?

  • Marvin Falz

    Young Obi-Wan is looking for Midichlorians in the Hell’s Club.

  • yonderTheGreat

    Definitely just you. “Great” doesn’t have just one definition. It isn’t always a triple-A game or amazingly deep or whatever the first thing you think of is. There are a wide variety of great qualities. The most important thing tho is… “is it fun?” If the answer is “Hell yes!” then it’s a great game. Simple as that.

  • yonderTheGreat

    But what if you actually have friends?! Do MP games still suck?

  • yonderTheGreat

    Freak

  • yonderTheGreat

    Obviously you mean SWG. The height of Sony awesomeness and fan service.

  • Like Icare

    Most pathetic fanbase?

    Religious fanatics are traditional undisputed holders of that title.
    Their numbers and variety of flavors alone keep them above all other fanbases.

    But… For some time now they have to share that title with Nazis.

  • Like Icare

    Lack of exposure to culture due to either being isolated away from the rest of humanity for many years (like being in a cult, or prison, or a third world country, or North Korea…).

    Inherent lack of intelligence or sanity – being born dumb or crazy.

    Acquired lack of intelligence or sanity – due to a physical or emotional trauma, or age-related issues like dementia.

    Drugs.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=hkA9rz-1YoA#t=18

    Some combination of the factors listed above.
    Like being held in Abu Ghraib prison, while being drugged and forced to watch Attack of the Clones over and over.

    Being George Lucas.

  • YFNEF

    Don’t be silly, “fun” is a buzzword.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    jedi academy is the bees knees. no other SW game made lightsaber combat so fun.

  • Earth

    Ha! I love how you guys all slowly started invading Youtube.

    The RLM comments section as a force is scary.

  • Earth

    Anything made by Tim Schaffer, Valve, Black Isles and Squaresoft. Not actually that big of a Nintendo fan but I do love some Legend of Zelda games. Resident Evil 4 and Dark Souls are pretty great too.

    I’m also partial to PS1 Spyro. I know how to train my (purple) dragon.

  • Earth

    I wouldn’t say the bar itself is low, but a lot of people are willing to swallow a lot of bullshit.

  • Earth

    PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLE TIME!

    I’ve noticed people are talking about the vidya games. I recall that hack Roger Ebert caused a shitstorm on the webzones by saying video games can’t be art. Well, anyway, he won the argument by dying before anyone could convince him otherwise, but asshole journalists and bloggers everywhere still consider the eternal question: What’s in my popcorn tub?

    Do you consider games art? Do you not? Do you give a shit? If you do, why, and what games would you say have reached that artistic merit?

    Post a comment on my comment, and I’ll send you a link to The Great Gatsbyn game.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Games are definitely art. One of the definions of that damned word basically allows to call any creative expression that triggers somekind of emotional response art so really games should not be nowhere near regarded with the kind of contempt people like Ebert spew. As far as my own takeaway I think the best examples of artistic games comes from those developers that understand the main advantage/what sets out games from other artistic mediums is first and foremost interactivity. The amount of games that are able to gel gameplay and story into meaningfully coexisting unity is not big but they do exist and here’s some examples:

    Silent Hill 2, Hotline Miami, Brothers-A Tale of Two Sons, Portal, Dark Souls, Papers Please,

  • Earth

    Awesome. The games you listed are fantastic by the way.

    http://greatgatsbygame.com/

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I knew about this game long ago because the best video game critic on the internet has made a review about it:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4D7oZsVenE

  • Earth

    It’s the ultimate culmination of art and video games.

    Edit: Well, that and Bubsy 3D of course.

  • bleurgh

    Games are art simply by existing. It’s a medium of original content created by people i.e art. Just like all movies and tv shows are art. The term doesn’t just apply to stuff that’s good. If I draw a picture of a dick it’s a piece of art. It might be juvenile and shitty, but it’s art nonetheless. Ebert was wrong basically. You assemble an ikea cabinet it’s not art, but if you create something unique it’s a piece of art, doesn’t matter what the fuck it is. It could be something completely utilitarian like a table. If it’s unique it’s art. If you created it your an artist. It may be a broad way of looking at things, but every other definition I’ve heard is too easy to poke holes in.

  • Amontillado

    Rocket League needs to get schwifty.

  • Bubs

    I’m not sure anyone could make a convincing case against video games being art. If dubstep is art, then you bet your grandma’s tits that video games are.

    However, Jonathan Blow gave a great talk at GDC one year about how, while video games are an artform, they’ve yet to really reach their full potential. And while I think he’s a bit of a blow hard (no pun intended), I agree with him on that. Video Games are, more often than not, the lowest form of entertainment. Just look at the 75 million copies of Call of Duty sold every year. But, we’re seeing more and more video games break out of that “shoot things get points” box. A great game that comes to mind is the The Stanley Parable. It’s a clever rumination on the tropes and pitfalls of videogaming and design.

    Currently, too much time is being focused on “Makin’ it luk reel”, as if that was important somehow. I’m sorry, but it’s just not the case. Playstation One graphics were shit, yet everyone felt something when Aeris died in Final Fantasy 7. Our games don’t need to look like mirror images of real life for us to connect with them. Games don’t work like that. Movies do. So, I think it will be a long time before “artform” video games become the norm.

  • tOmy`

    Yes. This.

    Glad someone brought this up when Tapey is gone.

  • tOmy`

    Incoming 2016: Warcraft movie. Minecraft movie. Assassinss Creedcraft movie. And Kevin Bacon.

  • Gallen_Dugall

    The problem with MP is only partially “other people” although certainly having to deal with one griefer one time is more than anyone should ever have to, and if you do have committed gaming friends who like the same games you do and are on the exact same schedule as you (unlikely once you are an adult) then at least you can avoid the core consumer base whose sadism addiction requires them to ruin the game for others.

    One big problem is the fundamental design. Single player games can present truly challenging gameplay, but because “balanced play” is the foundation of multiplayer they cannot. This is why most MP games abandon all gameplay and focus on providing an arena. MP games aren’t really games.

    The biggest problem with multiplayer is the target audience. It’s pretty telling in how hypersensitive dedicated MP gamers are. They know they like casual shallow products and pointing it out makes them aggressively defensive. There is no objective difference between something like this and Candy Crush or any of the thousands of FPS games out there. They are shallow experiences and once you’ve played for five minutes you’ve experienced everything the game has to offer – something the designers are quick to hide under layers of grinding.

  • bleurgh

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2VEQ8F5La8

    They’re going in a pretty unusual direction with ball-droids character.

  • Brack to the Future

    I’ve heard there’s a Gangs of New York game coming out. Totally open-world. The best part is you can kill Turtledove Mary in the first minutes. You know, “write Cameron out of the script?”

  • Brack to the Future

    Fassbender Slam!

  • Brack to the Future

    When John Marston died and they played bury me on the lone prairie, I actually felt something. The last thing a movie ever made me feel was regret, shame and a burning sensation on my florg.

  • Brack to the Future

    *panic room

  • RLMkeepitup

    its just that movies often attempt to reflect real life whereas a game is usually almost all fantasy. if you watch close its often the games that try to be realistic in some way that get the most criticism.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’m blown away by how many people watch minecraft players on youtube so that movies bound to make cash.

  • Earth

    Funny you should mention Final Fantasy 7. Like most games I’m 20 years late in playing it but I actually experienced the “Aeris death scene” for the first time only recently. It was strange. I knew it was coming. It’s one of the worst kept “secrets” (spoilers, whatever) in gaming, and yet I actually really did feel something. I didn’t cry, as I don’t usually, but I was close to. She’d been a constant throughout the game, a likeable character and a nice love interest throughout the game, then bam, dead, completely. Hit hard.

    Anyway, the look of games will develop over time I think. They’ll come a point when we hit the uncanny valley too much, so different designs will start appearing (for example, the absolutely gorgeous (imo) Okami) and even though FF7 is blocky, there is at least a style to it, which I really appreciate in a game as old as it is.

    I agree for the most part that most games are yet to reach an “artform” but I think there are some games out there that have every right to be called “art”. I guess we just need to let it all develop with time, and allow the gaming library to increase more and moreso.

    http://greatgatsbygame.com/

  • Earth

    I have similar feelings. I’ve always thought that anything a human built from their imagination, no matter how mundane, is still art. I suppose the debate is really if video games are “high art”, but then, there was a time when Shakespeare’s plays, prose literature , and film were all considered “lowbrow”. I just find it funny that people like Ebert could fall into the same trap people did years ago.

    http://greatgatsbygame.com/

  • Earth

    I really loved Red Dead Redemption. I’m sure some people here will hate it but that game had things like “themes”, something usually unheard of in games. Also, I’m a sucker for westerns and would love to see more of them in video games. There are so many settings that are woefully underused.

    http://greatgatsbygame.com/

  • Jonah Falcon

    Not at work.

  • Doctor John Smith

    BB-8=BabyBait.
    They have a gyroscopic toy about to come out. you know they do.

  • Palpatine

    Hey, as long as there’s no scene where it accidentally rolls through poopy, I’m fine with it.

  • Captain Turbo

    The dog analogy by Rich was actually pretty clever. Who said he’s the Howard Wolowitz of RLM?

  • Doctor John Smith

    I want one….
    #DroidSex!#0m1773d!

  • Palpatine

    You going to dress up for the premiere of the film like a huge nerd?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Yes… and drive 250miles to see it.
    not a problem you have in Jersey.

  • bleurgh

    Did you guys ever watch the tv soap opera Passions? It has to be one of the most gloriously insane shows I’ve ever seen. An accidental masterpiece in every way. I’m trying to track it down on DVD, but they never released it in my region.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eucvcJnOZ38

  • Doctor John Smith

    poor lill’ Timmy.

  • Palpatine

    The closest theater here is 30 miles away. God, I want to move to Delaware.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Stop LYING! Jersey is one mile of beach and the Universal Backlot in Hollywould.

  • Palpatine

    People should dress up as Rich Evans from the infamous reaction video for the Episode VII premiere. Just buy a Star Wars t-shirt, a maroon hoodie from a thrift store, a Darth Vader mask, and an R5-D4 toy.

  • bleurgh

    I generally have to drive that distance to go to work every night.

  • bleurgh

    I could never work out if he was a midget or a child.

  • Orblong

    Did anybody else notice Jack isn’t wearing his wedding ring?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Both!
    (This is a longer story that is boring)

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Palpatine

    And?

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    yessss. He’s been injected with nanomachines!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Ille mortis, et pax Requim RLM.
    xoxox
    the world caught up with you and now your as relevant as South Park.
    Guten Nacht.

  • Taylor Evans

    I feel like they can be art, but in the artistic discussion I feel like people focus too much on it as a storytelling medium in its artistic merits. My examples would be how many games have you going around being a mass murderer while your character laments death. Now, of course, these games have to have action to keep them interesting and of course they should be able to tell a story, but there’s often times such a divorce between the character you’re playing as and the one in cut scenes that it’s jarring if you’re trying to view it as a story as a whole. Red Dead Redemption is actually a great example of this. If you want to view a character’s play through as the story as a whole John Marsten kills a ton of people before being shot down by the fledgling FBI and could really be the reason why they did that.

    Where I think there are more artistic merits in gaming is that it’s the only medium in which you can actually feel like you are what you’re playing as. I think more artistic games should focus on getting you to empathize with your character through means of gameplay than means of story through forced cutscenes.

  • instant relief

    How boring! 😉

  • SkaMP

    Susan is behind it all!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    he’s obviously having an afair with Rich

    WAKE UP SHEEPLE

  • Like Icare

    It costs $150 for a tiny ball-thing that you can’t even use to shoot anyone with.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQIeBPjEiys

    http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/09/star-wars-bb8-toy-puppies

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Red Dead Redemption is absolutely amazing. It should just be paint by numbers GTA in the wild wild west but it’s so much more then that.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It had a chimp as a main character, so, yes. Good times.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    So, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is more art than Pokemon Red & Blue according to Ebert? I believe games can be artfully constructed and movies can have buttsecks – but not the other way around.

  • Like Icare

    What’s the point of all those pushups if he can’t even lift a bloody log?

  • Like Icare

    I don’t even know what that means.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    RLM; did you guys ever hear back from WB Studios when you sent in a mangled National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 2?

  • Amontillado

    Civilization 4, 5
    Arcanum: of Steamworks and Magicka
    Half Life 2
    TF2 (same as Jack – will never play again but has a special place)
    Deus Ex
    Diablo 2 and Diablo 2 LOD
    Diablo 1
    Mark of the Ninja
    Fallout New Vegas
    Riven
    The Journeyman Project 3: Legacy of Time
    The Oregon Trail
    GTA Vice City
    Batman Arkham Asylum
    Medal of Honor: Frontline
    Medieval 2: Total War
    Bioshock
    SimCity 2000
    SimTower
    FTL: Faster than Light
    Hitman: Blood Money
    Sid Meier’s Pirates!

    and countless others that I’m forgetting at the moment – but Arcanum is a lost gem that never got its true do, worth remembering and playing.

  • Amontillado

    We are RLM, we are many, we are strong.

  • Palpatine
  • Amontillado

    They say he comes out at night, looking for loose Cheeze-Its and the blood of the console knaves

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Thanks Palpy; man, brutal.

  • Amontillado

    People are so hard to please, no wonder they’re all alcoholics at RLM.

  • Palpatine

    It means he’s had too much to drink.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    I noticed Jessie isn’t producing these anymore. Nor has she been seen in anything else. Did she quit?

  • Palpatine

    Nobody here knows what happened to her.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jessi has returned to her home planet.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I have no idea how minecraft works. Isn’t it like virtual Lego, like you build shit out of sort of voxels? I can see the fun in playing something like that, but watching others play? In fact, watching others play ANY video game is torture.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’ll stick to my theory that creeps over at Reddit, 4chan, /tv/, etc. scared her from ever appearing on-camera again.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I don’t buy it. She was in a band afterall so she certainly got to know at least some of the bad perks of fame. Not the mention the creepy shit started off the moment she appeared in first BOTW but that didn’t make her quit(?) till months/years later. And finally-I don’t a think a single RLM crew member would visit or give a fuck about 4chan.

  • Palpatine

    Those Rebel scum.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    The BBC Top Gear show did this for real with small cars and rally drivers.

  • Palpatine

    She’s touring with her band then.

  • Palpatine
  • dollar store cashier wife

    apparently it broke up years ago

    Source:AIDS moby on PreRec streams.

  • Earth

    I thought Spec Ops The Line did a pretty decent job here.

    I hope that as games progress, the writing will improve in more games, so that the character will reflect upon YOUR actions more and more. Spec Ops being an example. You shoot a guy, then later on, the story’s ending will happen as a consequence of YOU, not the character, shooting the guy. It’s an interesting concept in any case.

    To mention a point you made earlier, about how people only really talk about storytelling, it bothers me that visual design isn’t really brought up enough when talking about games as an art form. Even games made on very dated systems still look good today (imo) because of the visual design. Examples being Final Fantasy 7, Fallout 1 and 2, Planescape Torment, hell even Ocarina of Time.

    http://greatgatsbygame.com/

  • Brack to the Future

    I heard she sat on a cucumber they had on the couch for a prop. When she got up, it was a pickle. Vlasic hired her away. 🙁 🙁 🙁

  • Palpatine

    Then what happened to her?

  • Brack to the Future

    I like the one with the really small Evo containing Paul Walker’s ashes.

  • Brack to the Future

    Ubi sub ubi, Scooby

  • Brack to the Future

    That’s it! Peter and Stewie! You guys should totally go as Peter and Stewie for Halloween. I’m calling Seth right now.

  • Red Skeleton

    There was a theory about her being pregnant with Mike’s baby. I didn’t believe it until the last Wheel of the Worst… when Mike said something like “The [pregnant mothers] should have watched a video called Safe Sex Attitude…. because then they wouldn’t be fucking knocked up!”. He says it with such vitriol, you have to wonder….

  • Brack to the Future

    Aw shucks. He says Rich is too fat and his chin looks too much like a set of balls. The other guy’s spot on.

  • Palpatine

    That’s even worse than that time I went skydiving with a celebrity during the 80’s.

  • Brack to the Future

    I knew this guy in the Marine Corps notable because he was in OCS with only 9 fingers.

    He’d jumped up to retrieve his dad’s hammer from the roof and his class ring caught on the gutter. When he landed it was de-gloved like a skeleton.

  • Ogrot

    How did George Lucas get on this webzone?

  • Palpatine

    That’s not a bad theory.

  • Brack to the Future

    That’s a bad outcome, though.

  • Brack to the Future

    “Oh no Paul Hogan packed my parachute for me? I hope he doesn’t find out about my time in summer camp with Mister Henderson!” *

    *This Crocodile Dundee 2 reference brought to you by Hulu. Hulu. Pay for it and watch bad commercials, douchebag!

  • Ogrot

    Its just an old salesmen trick. If Jack appears available more men will try and buy things from him just to try and get his attention.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    She returned to her home planet remember?

  • Jason

    Jack’s gameplay was surprisingly competent. Must be the new glasses.

  • Palpatine

    He usually acts like a six year old while playing games.

  • Like Icare

    You mean cause they are smaller and booze keeps spilling from them?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=-Ci8h_CTeJE#t=60

  • Like Icare

    Too much or not too much, that is the question.
    Whether it is… aahhh fuckit…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe she’s a secret agent or something/

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I might just do that. I need to gain a few pounds to do it though.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That could also explain why they have a lot of condoms.

  • Palpatine

    You don’t seem fat. Are you? You should also give yourself a bald spot.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I can wear a fat suit, ala Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder.

  • Now I Get It

    It was revenge for __________ and a lot of other things, and there was nothing that we could do about it.

    _____ was a made man and _____ wasn’t, and we had to sit still and take it.

    It was among the ________. It was real greaseball shit.

  • Palpatine

    Or she’s the manager of a dinosaur theme park on an island in the South Pacific.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe she’s an alien like Tommy Wiseau

  • instant relief

    Smells like balls.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I search on Google Images Amish Jay and the first thing that popped up was a cover for gay erotic novels.

  • Palpatine

    If only Omitted were here right now.

  • In a typical Andrew fashion, I’ll say – both.

  • My ex wife
  • RLMkeepitup

    its similar to lego but there’s animals and weather. it is fun with friends. try it out if you get the chance

  • RLMkeepitup

    they’ve been practicing that game a lot lately too

  • RLMkeepitup

    sarcastic vitriol is like the glue that holds red letter together though

  • fred

    Rich must hate live events.

  • instant relief

    Who doesn’t? People still leaving their flats?

  • instant relief

    *sigh* No instant relief for me today.

  • instant relief

    Maybe she’s producing something else these days.

  • Captain Turbo

    Do you suppose they’ll ever get Megan Fox to guest star on an episode of Pre Rec?

  • Earth

    *Megan LaFox.

  • HeftyJo

    Rocket League looks like Twisted Metal meets FIFA.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    With out the Metal or money loving publishers.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Werdwolf

  • Brack to the Future

    Or the talented programmers, marketers or fan base.

  • Brack to the Future

    Yes if they’ll pay to repair her horrible birth-defect hammer thumbs!

  • Brack to the Future

    I have more faith in Galaga right now, having watched this review. The bonding of two white ships is inviolable, you guys!

  • Brack to the Future

    *Average bitchwolf with a sense of superiority

  • Brack to the Future

    I left my ranch the last time before 1999 and after that, all of civilization broke down. So now I order milk and panties. They arrive by quadcopter, sometimes used, often pristine.

  • Brack to the Future

    It looks like two guys who caan’t hold their own online.

    C’mon guys, do your pussies get hurt when you get shot in Los
    Fucking Santos?

  • Captain Turbo

    It could be worse, she could have toe thumbs.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    we do know we just cant say it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Shhhh someone got banned for saying that.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    She was still behind the camera till recently. you could hear her laughing in some videos.

  • Red Skeleton

    What? Who?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    who do you think.

  • LameSame

    That comment strikes me as racist. I’m not sure how, yet, but I’ll figure it out. And when I do, so help me God, I will shame you all over twitter.

  • Jay Stein

    Your sad hopes for the new Star Wars film

  • Jay Stein

    I’m an artist and I work in the video/gaming industry ,..so yeah VIDEO GAMES ARE DEFINITLY ART,.Mr. Ebert. May you rest in peace

  • Jay Stein

    You are so wrong. Each texture is painted and coded, models are built by hand in Zbrush, and that’s just the tip of it, so you know where you can stuff it mister..

  • Bubs

    I don’t understand what you mean. Is this sarcasm? Are you making a joke? Have you been fucking with my brain medicine? Please advise.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Time for my contribution for Tomy’s music foru-uh I mean RLM disqus offtopic section

    Afx-Orphaned Deejay Selek (2006-2008) EP

    Second offcial(third if you count the utterly insane and still going 200+ unreleased track release dump over at Richard D. James soundcloud page)Aphex Twin release of the year is sadly disappointing. Apparently these are unreleased tracks as the name implies from 2006-2008. Right around that time when Richard put out one of his greatest works to date as The Tuss-Rushup Edge and Confederation Trough EP. While the Tuss-y influences are heard at places ultimately it sounds dull and lacking those usual AP complex beats or soulful melodies. Maybe it will improve with future listens though who knows. Woudn’t be the first AP release to do that but as of now it’s only worth about 5/10 for me.

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  • Noah R.

    Are they schweddy?

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh, they’re going to do a follow up video in a year? So that’d be, roughly, the next update, then?

  • instant relief

    That’s what 12k Patreon dollars/month will get ya. Even porn costs less to produce.

  • Bubs

    Ehem. This one’s for Palpy.

    I dreamed a dream in times gone by
    When vids were short but still worth watching
    I dreamed that Jay would never die
    I dreamed that Mike would just keep talking
    RLM was young and unafraid
    And vids were made and watched and tasted
    There was no patreon to be paid
    No vid unwatched, no time unwasted

    But the Pre-Recs come at night
    Perhaps this webzone’s biggest blunder
    As they tear your hope apart
    As they turn your dream to shame
    I tried to watch but could not lie
    Their hopeless points devoid of wonder
    With time I hope this show will die
    Because it’s growing awfully lame

    And still I dream one day will come
    That we will laugh at jokes together
    But there are dreams that cannot be
    And there are shows I cannot weather
    I had a dream this show would be
    So different from this hell I’m watching
    So different now from what it seemed
    Pre-Rec has killed the dream
    I dreamed

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Bubs

    Finally, something Anne Hathaway couldn’t possibly ruin.

  • instant relief

    She couldn’t ruin my stripper pole.

  • Earth

    I just don’t get how someone like him, who a lot of the time was really open to a lot of movies, could suddenly turn around and say an entire medium couldn’t be art.

  • Marvin Falz

    You can copy a piece of music infinitely and the piece is still unique and it is still art. The same applies to video games, although I would say that a video game’s function is first and foremost to entertain the player(s) and maybe secondly function as a work of art. I think the function of art is to make you think, reflect on yourself and the world and maybe secondly to entertain.

    On the other hand I’d call a game like Banjo-Kazooie art, because it is well-constructed, each world follows a theme, which is reflected in the landscapes, the architectural style of buildings, the colors, the characters and their “voices”, the ambient noises and the soundtrack. When you’re in Mad Monster Mansion you get that creepy feeling of graveyard site but in a fun way since it’s a fun game. And when you listen to the soundtrack of Freezeezy Peak you imagine winter and snow.

    Another example I’d like to call art is Morrowind. There is a plethora of geographical, historical and political background information on Vvardenfell. You get an idea where to place yourself in all of this during the main quest. The game doesn’t only tell you that you’re the rectifying hero but it gives you enough material all over the land via dialogue and books that extend your identification with the hero. It is almost like you are the main character in a playable novel.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I don’t like driving games games and I don’t like sports games but this actually looks kinda fun. At least as a novelty game.

  • Like Icare

    It’s the same thing as those Micro Machines games – minus the guns.
    Or Mario Cart games minus their array of weapons.

    A simple game, where playing with friends of equal or similar ability is what makes them fun.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=_lDMA5yYdrA#t=292

  • Palpatine

    Beautiful.

  • Palpatine

    Wow, this comment section is dead.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yep, its like AIDS had a party and told everyone that Ebola was mixing the drinks.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    We’re on a PreRec thread so it’s only natural

  • DeColonise

    This game looks like serious fun! Thank you for another awesome review.

  • It put E-coli in the punch.

  • Chocolate and salty.

  • Palpatine

    Ebola is so 2014.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    K O N Y 2 0 1 2

  • Palpatine

    Obama/Biden ’08. Yes We Can.

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    …or else it gets the hose again?

  • Jay Stein

    You obviously know nothing of what goes into videogame production. It’s ALL FUCKING ART.

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  • Hugh Jackman did.

  • Domo

    So, after hanging out with a group of Star Wars fans for a bit, I came up with a thought.

    Do you think Han, Luke, and Leia are all going to live through The Force Awakens, or do you think they’re gonna kill at least one of them off to make more room for the new cast and story?

    I made a bet that Han and Leia were going to die somehow, but Luke was going to stay. Just wanted to know what you guys thought.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Hopefully they’all die and episode VIII will be about something else other then mindless fan service.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    you dont kill your cash cow that lays golden eggs.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Luke I think, Han because Harrison is a grandpa maybe not. Kylo “Most Likely A Solo Kid” Ren is probably going to have a murderous rage similar to Max Landis’ rage towards RLM.

  • Palpatine

    I think Han will die. That’s only because Harrison Ford never liked the character.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Harrison likes the character actually but he thinks that Han dying seems fitting to him. It is when you think about it. Some one like him that’s cheated death multiple times should get what’s coming to them.

  • Palpatine

    I hope the literally old characters have as little screen time as possible. That way we can get to know the new ones better.

  • Jegsimmons

    wait a minute….

    soccer like game
    speed boost
    destruction
    exploding ball when it hits the goal

    ………This is Griff-Ball!

  • Domo

    Plus there’s only so many times Ford can be rolled off set in a wheelchair.

  • Palpatine

    Harrison wanted Han to die in Empire, but since the character was so popular, it never happened.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Remember that last time Harrison returned as a character we loved?

    https://youtu.be/A9TXtTg4qik?t=26s

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He also wanted him to die in Jedi too.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Did that do anything?

  • Palpatine

    Maybe he’ll finally get his wish.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is this Rey character a Solo kid? Is Kylo Ren a Solo kid? Is Finn one too? What about Captain Phasma? What about Snoke? What about General Hux? Maybe Poe Dameron is an offspring too.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Part time

  • Palpatine

    lol those r all stupid names bro 😛

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I had the same thought.

  • Palpatine

    I have one of those.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Your avatar lacks a chick with big boobs.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    The only racing game I’ve kinda liked was Flatout. And that’s because you could wreck stuff in it.

  • Palpatine

    We all know how much you love Jaws.

  • Quit breaking character, Palpy. What, did George Lucas write you that line?

  • Well, he tried to do that outside of the studio in his plane but the duck-toars helped him live.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No I love my girlfriend.

  • I actually think Luke will die like Obi Wan. Because it’ll rhyme.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That would be too anticlimactic for a modern movie. Instead he will be split in half, falling backwards down a reactor shaft. Who cares what it rhymes with. They may as well kill him like Porkins; with a jug of soda and a bag of fries in his hands. http://i.imgur.com/sm2BcA2.gif

  • Palpatine

    Your phone?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    She’s an OS.

  • Palpatine

    All joking aside, I think Rey is Han and Leia’s kid. How she got separated from them, I don’t know.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Will she be in a slave outfit like her mother?

  • Palpatine

    That’ll be sexist!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Do fans really want the new characters to be related to the OT characters? Isn’t that the type of stuff that makes the universe, or galaxy, much smaller? I guess it is true that Star Wars is the story of the Skywalker family, I guess.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s what feminist would say and they make up less than 1% of the audience. So who cares?

  • Palpatine

    Joss Wheadon cares.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Not anymore ever since they scared him off social media.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    They will die 1 per movie. Han for VII, Leia for VIII, Luke for IX. It’s like poetry.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t want it always about them. I think it’s better to create something new to be attached to rather than let’s rely on the things everyone knows. If you don’t do something new you get Star Trek Into Darkness.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Every message board I read about Star Wars (unavoidable these days) there are so many comments about fans speculating which of the new characters is the son/daughter of which known character. By the way, BB-8 is the (adoptive) son of R2-D2 and C-3PO, you heard it here first.

  • instant relief

    I will never look in the mirror again! What’s wrong with my face?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I would like it if Rey or Finn are not related to anyone from the Original Trilogy because it goes back to what Mister Plinkett said about Protagonus. You need someone who’s normal for people to relate to. With Rey we can see our normal people are dealing post Jedi and with Finn we can see what the First Order is like post Jedi. That doesn’t mean she isn’t going to be a Solo or Skywalker but that shit will probably be reveal far later after we get to know as a human being.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Looks like omitted used his time away from RLM to master the art of claymation:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkazeX13MrE&spfreload=10

  • instant relief

    That would make sense if there wasn’t a vagina dancing around, too.

  • Palpatine

    I would like that too, but you have to think about what general audiences want. If there’s a connection to characters they know, they’ll like it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    As I said they still can be but I have a feeling that’s not going to be part of their character because they’ve probably been very far removed from their family or some shit. Whatever fart.

    https://viewerscommentary.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/batman-robin-alfred-with-deathbed-playset.png

  • Palpatine

    Think about this from a marketing perspective, wouldn’t you want there to be a ton of connections to satisfy the popcorn eating audiences?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Old Han, old Luke and old Leia. Kill one, Marry one, Fuck one. Go!

  • RLMkeepitup

    i’m more curious which will have the harder time doing serviceable acting, after 30 years i’m not super curious to see characters be resurrected only to be offed – but given they’re back its fair to assume at least one will sacrifice themselves to give an emotional weight to the first film of a new trilogy.

  • Palpatine

    Marry Liea, fuck Han, and kill young Skywalker.

  • RLMkeepitup

    what are you a gay male lion?

  • Gino Ortiz

    You guys play stupid video games. Either review nostalgic shit or do what Half in the Bag does and tear apart triple a massacres, but IDGAF about rocket league and I really don’t think anyone else does either. Your review of Arkham Knight was much better, even though I didn’t agree with you. This isn’t about your opinion of the game (and by this I mean my complaint, not your show). I just think your show is boring because you review stuff no one cares about… without being funny the way Wheel of the Worst and Half in the Bag are when they review bullshit. I know at least Rich knows how to do this, so come on… or maybe you don’t care if anyone likes it? Maybe its just filler bullshit and you know it? I dunno. It’s just strange.

  • TapewormBike

    I don’t play games and Rocket League was literally everywhere.

  • Gino Ortiz

    Yeah, but like… it was a non-entity. No one cares about it.

  • Gino Ortiz

    Oh wow, nevermind. lol I literally looked at steam the other day and it had a one now it has a nine. Well, it looks stupid to me still but whatever.

  • TapewormBike

    I’m gonna say neither of them dies, but they will fulfill their roles in the first movie and will be barely featured in the other ones.

    Chewie will die, though

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Kill Han
    Marry Luke
    Fuck Leia

  • Palpatine

    That’ll be a nice release for Han.

  • Palpatine

    What happened to his comments?

  • TapewormBike

    Seems like he somehow managed to remove them before the RLM “fuck your opinion” team did more work.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    My theory doesn’t necessarily mean that what scared her was something posted in a message board. Maybe something that was sent to them. Even if there apparently was a creepy subreddit that got erased.

  • TapewormBike
  • Palpatine

    Let them fight.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    After seeing this asshole on movies I say NO!

  • RLMkeepitup

    they want an experts opinion on bad movies

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Kill old Leia
    Marry Luke
    Fuck Han

  • Palpatine

    What if he does appear on BotW, what will you do?

  • TapewormBike

    Fuck Old Leia to death and marry the corpse. Hang out with the other two.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I doubt he will ever appear on BoTW because his way of speaking or “respecting” people’s opinions are different than anyone on RLM or those Screen Junkies people. He’s an ass.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Here’s a joke: Max Landis.

  • RLMkeepitup

    at least Han won’t come back as a ghost. I doubt Hayden will take a check to be blue in these movies. And Alec Guiness is gone. That’s why I was guessin a skywalker would die and go ghost.

  • RLMkeepitup

    well he does watch videos here so I give him a pass, for now.

  • TapewormBike

    Starring Brian Cox.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    “I’ll end this episode, as I like to end each episode, with the questionnaire created by the late Bernard Pivot…”
    What is your favorite word?
    What is your least favorite word?What turns you on creatively, emotionally, or spiritually?What turns you off?What is your favorite curse word?What sound or noise do you love?What sound or noise do you hate?What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?What profession other than your own would you not want to try?If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    You started a joke, that started the whole world crying.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Brrrrrppt. (Fart)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Where is your “Damaged” forehead tattoo?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    I was in France, trying to track down Christian Bale, and I had it changed to Fromage!

    I like cheese. Que puis-je dire? HAHAHAHAheheHA!

  • RLMkeepitup

    relax its just harsh flourescent lighting

  • TapewormBike

    I don’t think I ever had fun playing a game with other people longer than for 15 minutes, which is the window in which I realize how shit I am at it and let someone else play.

  • Palpatine

    It especially sucks when one of the guys you’re playing with sucks at playing.

  • TapewormBike

    I am that guy.

  • Palpatine

    Ha!

  • What if… they chose him to be the thing that gets destroyed, huh?

  • I’d like to see that. For some no reason.

  • He’ll be home. Full-time.

  • I hope he’s gaping lurking somewhere at this.

  • instant relief

    I think Fuckbot 5000 may have been fucking with my brain medicine and now his urethra is full of pills.

  • instant relief

    I feel your pain, bra! That’s why I stay away from MMOs and the like even tho I enjoy playing them. Maybe if I get an empty realm just for me without competition.

  • Like Icare

    Luke, Leia and Han to all die in first movie – 0% chance.

    Han alone to die in first movie – 0% chance.
    He’s Han SoloTM now. He’ll never die. Like Mickey Mouse. Or at least not in the first movie.
    Particularly since they went out of their way to include him in that poster.
    http://oyster.ignimgs.com/wordpress/stg.ign.com/2015/08/ep7poster.jpg
    Good god… Who Drew that? That’s right, Struzan.

    Luke to die in any of future movies – 99% chance.
    They can always force-ghost him back… so if some killing off is needed to raise the tension – pop goes the Luke.
    And they HAVE TO have a Jedi Master in the trilogy to train the new Jedi(s).
    So, his death will mean SOMETHING to some one. Not just the old characters.
    Who PROBABLY don’t even know about the whole Space Ghost thing. They probably just think that he’s senile when they see him talking to the air or smiling at empty walls.
    So he may die, but it would be an ultimately irrelevant death.

    Will he die in the first movie? Not likely.
    There simply won’t be enough time for introduction of all those new characters and all those toys (kids and other retards have to see toys in order to want them), the plot, the MacGuffin, RE-introduction of Solo, Luke and Leia (who apparently are NOT sharing a condo on Coruscant), them meeting all of these new characters (or those of importance) – AND for Luke to establish any kind of relationship with his future student for his death to mean anything to any of the new characters.

    So, if they have a blind monkey on the set as a script consultant – Luke will probably not die in the first movie.
    If all they have is Jar Jar… Sorry, all I can think of is how much I would like to cut him up into pieces and then light them on fire while the rest of him watches…
    Yeah… Luke dies. Fuck you Jar Jar Abrams.

    Where was I? Ah… yes…
    Leia to die in the first movie – depending on who she turns out to be.
    If she is a mother of one or more characters (WHAT A TWIST!) – her chances to die will rise dramatically.
    Particularly since all other characters are teenagers.

    Who are supposed to be heading out on an epic adventure and not staying home taking care of their aging parents.
    If there is such a link it must be severed, possibly also giving the young character a motivation of revenge. And we all know how much Jar Jar likes making it about REVENGE!
    If she’s just Han Solo’s wife… She might still die (REVENGE!!!) but not immediately.

    And if Luke dies she does not. Because, something-something Skywalker…

    These are my opinions.

    Like them on Facebook and MyPlace and don’t forget to subscribe.

  • Like Icare

    Is R2 a girl (WHAT A TWIST!) or are they both gay robots?

  • instant relief

    You can change the button configuration in the control options menu.

  • instant relief

    Ass!

  • Like Icare

    Whoa there! Did you just call me a buttonmasher?

  • Don’t you mean:

    Both.
    Tuesday.

    Both.
    Tuesday.

    Both.
    Tuesday.

    Both.
    Tuesday.

    Both.
    Tuesday?

  • instant relief

    And if you feel like I feel, baby… https://youtu.be/BKPoHgKcqag

  • instant relief

    I wanted to answer every single question with “Ass”, but my keyboard doesn’t even have that many buttons.

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • instant relief

    No, bottom mashing maybe.

  • Like Icare

    Fuck Leia, marry Leia, kill Leia, inherit all outstanding financial assets of Alderaan government.
    Invest in a popular fast-food chain. Live off the dividends on my private tropic moon.

    #JabbaHadNoImagination

  • Like Icare

    Oh. Ok then.
    Saying I’m completely absolutely and positively not into butts would be incorrect. And I can not lie.

    So I don’t see why I should deny.

  • Earth

    Plinkett’s basement gotta have something in it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He would be voted the worst movie and be destroyed.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Star Wars theory: Rich Evans is a solo kid!

  • Palpatine

    So Rich’s grandmother with the crazy hair is Han’s mother?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    And since Anakin is my son because of midichlorions, and Luke and Leia are my grandkids, does that make Rich my great grandson?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well it explains the Darth Vader mask. Does it all explain the jerk off droid toy?

  • Palpatine

    That’s a Skywalker family thing. You don’t even want to know what the women do with their droid toys.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    I think Han will die. That’s only because Harrison Ford never liked the character. anything.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Shabby Blue might know about that.

  • Palpatine

    Who?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Never mind, it is Star Wars related. Don’t Google it, even though I know you will.

  • Bubs

    Again. I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic here. Did you read my comment? Especially the part where I said that video games are art (this part was sort of important). Also, I find it really ironic that you are saying this to me, of all the people who comment on this webzone, as I work as a developer IRL.

    If you’re joking, please advise.

  • Palpatine

    These weirdo Devientartist’s are born just for our misery, aren’t they?

  • Bubs

    I am also a sore loser. However, I find that with Rocket League, I actually have more fun the worse I do. Because all you’re thinking is “this game is ridiculous” as you flip over backwards, drive up a wall, and land on your head while accidentally scoring a goal.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    “Yes. It was a spectacular role, and…you were spectacular in it.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s pre-Deviantart, I believe.

  • instant relief

    I’m too poor to buy that game, anyone care to donate?

  • instant relief

    *hole

    #omi4evr

  • instant relief

    Too late for me.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m so sorry.

  • Palpatine

    It doesn’t make a difference to this observer.

  • instant relief

    Don’t be. Just buy me some new lube.

  • instant relief

    Where’s that sharkish fella? I miss his bouncy gazongas.

  • Percy Gryce

    I had the same thought. Kind of weird to do it in this reunion film, though, but it has to be done.

  • Percy Gryce

    That thought did occur to me. And as quickly I dismissed it.

  • Percy Gryce

    Where’s Susan Boyle when you need her?

  • Percy Gryce

    Looks like The Grabowskis with a slightly smaller larger budget.

  • Percy Gryce

    Chess.

  • Palpatine

    He was fed to the Jurassic World mosasaurs.

  • instant relief

    Did the Disqus SWAT team finally get him?

  • Palpatine

    Or maybe he felt the wrath of Jay’s Mighty Banhammer.

  • Captain Turbo

    That’s no joke, that’s a space station.

  • Captain Turbo

    In the future (past, whatever) everyone is a Solo kid. He’s like the Genghis Khan of a time long, long ago.

  • Captain Turbo

    Agreed! Hope they do it!

  • Captain Turbo

    Max Landis is the epitome of privileged American. What a douche.

  • instant relief

    I thought he was immune to that.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the rockeat league multiplayer community will die, just like the universe. #doublefucked

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Hypoinjectionally, which country/prefecture/city-state would be best to watch RLM in unrestricted environs, drug-enabled, with regular trash collection and toleratence of Freedom of Speech?

  • Noah R.

    I like chocolate pretzels, mmmm

  • Captain Turbo

    West Milton, Pennsylvania.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Gay robots, obviously. Who else can Plinkett be referring as Luke’s “LBGT friends”? Also, that’s why included the “adoptive” in there.

  • Like Icare

    C-3PO got his memory wiped. Did that also reset his gender bit to factory settings? And what ARE his factory settings? Did Darth Vader know how to program it to talk Vagoon? Did his mom take it to one of the smaller dealers to have it upgraded?
    Is R2 a boy robot cause he likes to stick things into things or is he a transgender astromech with S&M tendencies cause he likes to shock and burn other robots? Or is he more into voyeurism with that holocam/holoprojector thing of his?
    Whatif they are both actually female?
    http://data2.whicdn.com/images/5422022/large.jpg

  • Like Icare

    That time of the month again, eh?

    When bills arrive and you contemplated just moving instead.

  • Jason Ross

    Edo.

  • tOmy`
  • TapewormBike
  • tOmy`

    CS / UT / Quake beg to differ!

  • TapewormBike

    Bulánci ftw

  • tOmy`

    So after Trump said that people shouldn’t speak Mexican in US, Sarah Palin said immigrant should speak American.

    Working on that reputation like pr0s, ‘murica!

  • Now I Get It

    Nothing against “Pre Rec” but…nice.

  • tOmy`

    Nice write up. I am currently working my way through Aphex and Chem Bros complete discography so I am a bit behind on other stuff. I did hear 3 new albums that I sorta liked, so maybe I will do a little write up as well.

  • instant relief

    Woah, woah, woah, people! I can hardly keep up with all the new comments.

  • tOmy`

    Everyone is busy buying mechs.

  • tOmy`

    That is a lot of material.

  • Bubs

    It’s not fair to judge us by our dumbest representatives. That’s like if we judged you people based on TOS’ Chekhov. If Chekhov was a politician. And a potential president. And from Czeck. Okay, it’s nothing like that at all. Fuck.

  • tOmy`

    You are right. If you were judging us by some of our politics, it would be almost the same.

  • Bubs

    Oh, really? We have no sense of politics from the rest of the world. So I had no idea.

  • instant relief

    Big mechs?

  • instant relief
  • instant relief

    Amsterdam?

  • instant relief

    All those pro gamers ruined my online gaming experiences!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah but your an enabler! you come here speaking your sexy english and we dont even try to learn Cheerleader.

  • instant relief

    Kann ich einen Cheerleader haben? You know, for my secret experiments!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was going to post this somewhere else but as everyones talking race and politics.
    I made a new game, I call it ‘Spinning the RaceCard.TM’
    You have three opaque bags, labeled ‘Actions’ ‘Reasons’ and ‘Race’ you have to make up the “things” and write them on some thing and put them in the bags.
    Actions: Things to do to or make people do. ‘Give them shoos’ ‘Put them in camps.’ “Teach them to play *SPORTS*’ETC
    Then Reasons: ‘For economic growth’ ‘For a laugh’ ‘Because i hate the French!’
    Then Race:
    pick one piece of paper from each bag.
    Then you have to ‘Spin’ the race card.
    “Thats right i want to ‘give crack’ to ‘The French’, ‘Because they are made of sperm.”
    then you have to justify or “Spin” your statement.
    For 2+ players.

  • Like Icare

    Oh man you like totally should. At least if you’re running for a president or something.
    It’s all totally about free blowjobs for USA.
    http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/jeb-bushs-unexpected-connection-europes-waitergate

    Or at least you have to start asking around if the foreign place provides free blowjobs.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Best not to. i knew a cheerleader once and i iched every time i went to the kann.

  • instant relief

    I. R. disappoint! 🙁 What am I gonna do with my empty basement now?

  • Like Icare

    20 year projections for unemployment in France show a steady rise while productivity keeps dropping.
    In order to increase productivity and decrease the number of prospective unemployed French citizens, cocaine (in crack form, for stability) should be introduced at workplaces.
    It will increase productivity and decrease male libido and spermatogenesis, thus reducing future unemployment while increasing worker productivity.

    After all, it worked for Nazis.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D-IX
    “Test subjects could march in a circle for up to 90 kilometers per day without rest while carrying a 20 kilogram backpack.”

  • bleurgh

    Yeah, I’m actually of the opinion that Obi Wan being the one who killed Lukes father is a much better twist than Darth Vadar being Lukes father. It’s such a more brutal betrayal, Luke loses his mentor in that instant and is left to wonder if the destruction of the Vadar and the Empire is something he ever actually cared about or if he was just being manipulated by an evil old man to settle an ancient score. Eventually he’d come to the conclusion that Obi was trying to help him out of guilt and realises that he actually does care about fighting tyranny.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Hookers? Meth Lab?… “high density housing”(its a camp) for the 500,000 immigrants.

  • bleurgh

    I was under the impression that Harrison only agreed to be involved with the film if they killed his character. I don’t know where I heard that, but it sounds like something Harrison Ford would say, so I believed it.

  • instant relief

    Both.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats going to get a huge score. you used fear, stability and nazis to tie it in a neat logical bow of gibberish. you can take a Republican Nomination or roll the dice and go to the election as an Independent!

  • Like Icare

    If Universe stays of drugs it will never reach the Heath death conditions.

    #LedgerWouldGetIT&bCool

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No thanks, Meth makes me angry and argumentative.

  • bleurgh

    The Less Carrie Fischer in these movies the better.

  • bleurgh

    Also, he’s had to live with speculation about this character for 40 years. I can imagine he’d like to give it some closure.

  • Like Icare

    Beats Lessig’s “program”.

    “Hey everyone! Elect me! I have no plan to run the government. Instead, I will blackmail it to push a law limiting money in politics! BRILLIANT! ISN’T IT?! I KNO! HIGHFIVE!

    Then I will step down and my Vicepresident will take over.
    VOTE MY BACKUP 2016! Vote gridlock!”

    And just as the American public was starting to open up to the idea that those egghead intellectuals aren’t THAT retarded compared to Trump.

  • Domo

    Well, after dick picks, verbal sparring matches, account deletions, account bans, sexy spam bots, shark boobs, and wars of almost every sort, what else is there, really?

    We need a new genre of entertainment to get those butts in those seats!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    My favorite Mech will always be the Timberwolf.

    Twin PPG’s, A Metric-FUCK-tonne of LRM’s and as many Pulse Lasers as you can jamb on the frame.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a8/MechWarrior_2_cover.jpg

  • Palpatine

    Politics is being talked about now? Oh, please let there be new content soon!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Omitted still has a copy…. thats gonna bite me on the butt.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Tuesday is only a day a way…

    https://youtu.be/Yop62wQH498

  • instant relief

    I prefer the ChickenMechNugget. Way more classic.

  • instant relief

    I can make people feel depressed and bored. Does that count?

  • instant relief

    Just mix it up with some H and you’re good.

  • instant relief

    I know that movie! Jay-Z made the soundtrack!

  • Brack to the Future

    So my ole pal Spivey and I are getting ready for the big $2M GTAV tourney, and we decide to practice by ‘chuting into Fort Zancudo. As soon as I land on the control tower I do a no-scope shot and sure enough he falls like a rock.

    After that he chases me around all day, totally non-productive, but good practice for being pursued. Oh Spivey.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    EEEEW! i’ll just stick to my mixture of bongs and LSD, DMT, and Ketamine dissolved in rum.
    I’m not a fucking Junkie!

  • Palpatine

    For you it is.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    For me its 2 minutes.

  • instant relief

    Pfft, I thought you wanted to have some fun, Captain Party Pooper!

  • Palpatine

    So changing the subject, it seems like Max Landis will be appearing on BotW. Thoughts?

  • instant relief
  • instant relief

    It’s confirmed now?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Wont happen.
    Len was a gentleman. i imagine Landis is more like Andrew and will have to be a dick about the whole thing.

  • Brack to the Future

    I’ve been trying to wind him up via Twitter all last week. It appears he’s somewhat unflappable. Either that or Melinda’s doing her job.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Brack to the Future

    That’s what she said!*

    *I just time-traveled back to when that joke was still funny.

  • Palpatine

    They invited him on Twitter, but it’s hard to tell if they’re joking or not.

  • Bubs

    Agreed. Appearing on BotW would force him to answer some uncomfortable questions and make some shameful admissions about his douchebaggy behaviour. Two things he’s just not adult enough to do.

  • Brack to the Future

    I spoke something like four languages at the time I interviewed her on the campaign trail. First thing she says: “whoa, put away the tweed, professor!”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I traveled into the future and RLM got banned By President Trump for “Confusing ME!!!”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Exactly!!!… Oh, wait….

  • tOmy`

    And then he would make the horrible mistake of: “Well, that went well, let’s see how their comment section responded…”

  • Domo

    After watching the screen junkies movie fights, my guess it’ll be Max and Rich duking it out for screen time. My ear drums will probably burst from all the shouting.
    Mike would make a joke of bleeping all of Landis’ curse words in the episode, resulting in a 2 week editing time.

    It’ll be great.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I would sell a kidney to see that….. not one of mine… but a good fresh kidney.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Both. if he comes on the show. ‘Trainwreck Goldmine’ if not they(RLM) have the high ground.

  • Brack to the Future

    I can envision a slappy, shirt-tearing man fight, where they both end up in sweaty embrace. And we see Rich’s “O” face.

  • bleurgh

    Me too. I was getting pretty desperate by the end of it.

    https://twitter.com/Andy_Pants/status/639088244462759936

    I think he gets more enraged by polite comments than outright vitriol.

  • bleurgh

    The movies they watch should be American Ultra, Chronicle and Cloverfield.

  • RLMkeepitup

    but on the flipside it would also be not fair (or at least accurate) to judge us by our smartest representatives either.. #doublefucked

  • Red Skeleton

    I’m calling it now: HeWhoShallNotBeNamed’s next username will be Dr. Andrea, Medicine Woman.

  • RLMkeepitup

    don’t lie, you know politics makes you feel all https://youtu.be/cXjT6Dg4E68?t=2m10s

  • Palpatine

    Lord Voldemort is on here?

  • RLMkeepitup

    as long as he will also be disappearing , quickly into the night, I guess I’m okay

  • RLMkeepitup

    hey sometimes reincarnation takes a while

  • RLMkeepitup

    side note: I think “I have the high ground” is the 2nd dumbest line not about sand, considering the 2 hour saber fight over lava and fuckin flying platforms that just happened.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Andrew?

  • Red Skeleton

    @@disqus_07LG5zuJ83:disqus and @Wr@WrongWithYourFace:disqus: Yes

  • Amontillado

    I don’t know, I think I spotted Jay in the background, licking his lips and looking Wesley Snipes up and down.

  • Amontillado

    Bruh, I think you just made a sick burn.

  • Amontillado

    *manhole

  • Amontillado

    Damnit Susan, this is no time to dick around.

  • Amontillado

    Bubs thinking about Max Landis on BoTW: “I’ve never been so frisky in my whole life!”

  • Amontillado
  • TapewormBike

    Why not.

  • Amontillado

    “Ah, swish is this old dirrrty homemade liquor, and you can barely get ‘er into ya. But, my fuck, does it ever get ya some drunk!”

    -Bubbles the Magnificent, 1838

  • Like Icare

    Or NOT.

    He will appear and he will NOT “answer some uncomfortable questions and make some shameful admissions about his douchebaggy behaviour.”
    I.e. He will dodge those answers OR he will shift blame.
    Hijinks ensue.

    Or he may appear with a gun. In which case we may all end up on CNN.

    HI MOM!

  • tOmy`

    Trainspotting 2 is happening. Where? There: http://metro.co.uk/2015/09/07/trainspotting-2-is-happening-danny-boyle-confirms-original-cast-are-returning-5379664/#mv-a

    Because if there was a movie that needed to tie all the loose ends, creators had to choose this one.

  • tOmy`

    Unfortunately, if you picture this movie and try to multiply its greatness by 1000, you still won’t get to the level of the quality of the first one.

  • Palpatine

    Was the first one good?

  • Like Icare

    Well… There is a book.

    And one of the reasons Boyle gave for not filming it sooner was that those acting assholes refused to look properly old and decayed.

  • tOmy`

    Hey, maybe we finally figure out which cunt glassed that lassie.

  • tOmy`

    I find it very hard to respond to this using either a reference to or a quote from the movie. Unless you are talking about shopping.

  • tOmy`

    Take the best orgasm you’ve ever had… multiply it by a thousand, and you’re still nowhere near it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It beats any meat injection. That beats any fucking cock in the world.

  • Like Icare

    Kelly Macdonald is an object of desire rivaling heroin.
    Trainspotting taught me that.

  • Palpatine

    I’m guessing it’s like the F&F movies where there’s little to no story or character and it’s just shit going fast for two hours.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    AP is one of my favorite artists but yeah going through his discography is a challenge. The man is the definion of prolific. I still haven’t listened to those 200+ archive tracks of his from this year alone lmao.

  • Brack to the Future

    Allow me: “good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die.” That goes double for the other Ewen.

  • Brack to the Future

    I heard the production’s been haunted by the ghost of Kevin McKidd’s career.

  • Ogrot

    Unlikely he will shift blame in any specific way. That would be terrible for his career. You don’t want to be known as the screenwriter who burns their director, actors, ect. on twitter and youtube every time one of your scripts doesn’t do so hot in the box office. No one will want to work with you.

    If he’s smart he’d use the whole thing as a venue to humanize himself. He may even mea culpa and just say yeah I was feeling vulnerable and made some dumb tweets while crying into my shot glass. Everyone has bad days. etc.

    If he is appearing on BotW I doubt it will be to have a confrontational derisive debate over the merits of his work. I’ve yet to see the RLM guys do that with any guest. They took the piss out of Samurai Cop and all of Len’s Movies and when they came on the guys treated them well and let us meet these human works of art on their own terms. Len got to do a show on his favorite movie genre and generally surprised us, and I think the gang as well, with his affable nature. They could have turned it into an uncomfortable interview where they grilled him over every baffling incompetent decision he’s ever made as a director, editor, star, writer, in his collection of schlock, but they didn’t. They saw Len wasn’t really living under any illusions as an auteur. He just had a lot of fun making silly movies and trying new shit, so he just did that. The RLM guys act like acerbic assholes with their dark sarcastic wit, but let’s face it, they are probably nice guys. Remember when Mike started tearing up over talking about the Geritol Follies… ’nuff said.

  • Brack to the Future

    It starts with “Lust for Life” and the most awesome Ewen McGregor laugh of all time and basically goes downhill from there. Worth every minute, year after year.

  • instant relief

    Hey, give some credit to the creepy ceiling baby.

  • Brack to the Future

    Speakin’ of vidya games, I must have Red Dead Redemption on the brain. Saw a snippet of The Grapes of Wrath on the teevee yesterday, and I swear that bridge looks just like the one in the game that goes into Mexico. I find that awesome and intriguing that a game can be so pervasive and so rich that it actually imbues older media with meaning.

  • Like Icare

    Len wasn’t really living under any illusions as an auteur

    That IS the point.
    Len didn’t go on a Twitter-tantrum about people not grasping his originality, attacking everyone left and right and then sorta-kinda wanting to make up.

    Max has a problem not with the RLM crew but with everyone out there who had found his comments condescending and stuck up.
    He MIGHT get a platform to eat some crow regarding his rant but that’s about it.

    RLM are not spin doctors for hire. They are hack frauds. Possibly pawns.
    It’s up to him, should he chose to appear on RLM, to explain his position in more than 144 characters in a non-douche way – and then to NEVER FUCK UP LIKE THAT AGAIN.

    From all presented so far… he doesn’t seem to be capable as he simply doesn’t grasp his own hypocrisy or egotism.

  • Brack to the Future

    Man that could’ve gone so wrong but it turned out great. If I may quote something from William Shakesman, it had just enough “Alarbus’ limbs are lopp’d” quality to make it creepy, comical and enduring.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Thanks for the warning…

  • Brack to the Future

    May I just add that her young brain was, indeed, too young for hash. If I’d been Mark I would’ve articulated that fact.

  • Like Icare

    Wait… that’s NOT Anthony Michael Hall?

  • Like Icare

    Give up Begbie, I’ve got the higher ground?

  • Brack to the Future

    Jeez, but he sure did turn out handsome in The Dead Zone. That petered out faster than a 45-year-old on his wedding night.

  • Brack to the Future

    Family Guy live studio ostrich: “Ha-Ha!”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Watching him in movie fights was a pain in the ass, but then again, seem that show is torture 95% of the time, from what I’ve seen. He does get points for hating Man of Steel.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Not even close Palpy. Trainspotting is genuinely good cinema.

  • Brack to the Future

    Anybody remember that bald dickless dentist who lured a lion off a game preserve, shot him with an arrow, followed him until it was inconvenient, started drinking in the jeep on the way back to his bungalow, passed out in his chair with a full pitcher of ice that had been airdropped the previous day, then dreamed of killing more lions in even cruder fashion, and when he awoke at 9 a.m. had breakfast, then went out to track the lion using a gps sniffer, then found him, yet was so hung-over he missed the beast’s heart twice with his crossbow bolts so a guide had to dispatch the suffering animal?

    He’s on the news right now asking for your sympathy.

  • Palpatine

    Well when I saw “train” in the title, I thought it was an action movie, and not a comedy. But is it Monty Python style comedy where it’s just people yelling in annoying voices for 90 minutes?

  • Palpatine

    I don’t watch the news.

  • its called bleach

    hey i wanted to share a story. i was w a friend who was buying tickets for a movie called assassination (about the japanese colonization of korea) and behind us in line was some goober kid who was loudly questioning how he could acquire a ticket to see pixels. i say goober because im pretty sure if you gised “goober” youd find this kid. he was with a friend and his friend looked like a methamphetamine addict even tho he couldnt have been older than fifteen. anyway yes, there are people paying money to see pixels

  • Galactic Shawn

    I will watch this is it’s a prequel and/or origin story

  • Brack to the Future

    My idiot cousin just called and said her stupid son is dropping out of college. He signed up for a whole bunch of computer classes thinking they were lol, and instead they were 101. So he gets a career 404. I’m considering talking with the Dean as I’m a generous alumnus.

  • Palpatine

    You must live the South then.

  • Like Icare

    It’s actually quite the opposite.
    There are very small quantities of shit for most of the movie and they are rationing out the use of it very carefully.

    As for going fast… at most they will run around at a junkie pace.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCxgqHqakXc

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    There are people paying money to see War Room.

    You can’t always explain people.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Pure-bred Little Dick.

  • Brack to the Future

    That’s South-ist!

    ~ Mark Walberg (from Southy)

  • Palpatine

    What’s a career 404?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    You know…like an Error.

  • Brack to the Future

    Shit, I’d watch it if it were called “Mr Renton Goes To Washington.”

  • Like Icare

    That’s just showing how dated that movie really is. They server hash to kids these days.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=JPfamikeU3E#t=1743

  • Galactic Shawn

    I liked this story because it had a beginning a middle and and end. I got especially excited about the catalyst where the kid started was talking loudly. Companies like Disney could learn a lot from this story structure.

  • Like Icare

    Error page. What you get when you go where no man has gone before.

    http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/60-really-cool-and-creative-error-404-pages/

  • Jay Stein

    Carreer not available

  • Brack to the Future

    Shit, there are people still paying taxes. But to each his own.

  • Like Icare

    RLM should do a Real-igious themed best of the worst.

    But that would be kinda like doing “people with clothes” themed BotW.
    There’s just too much of that shit out there.

  • Palpatine
  • Like Icare

    You mean like Mexicans?

    Ironic thing is – Texas used to be theirs.

  • Brack to the Future

    Call it Reel-ligious and I’m in. First cut “Warriors of the Lost World” with Persis Iranian Chick from the boringest and best Star Trek movie.

  • Brack to the Future

    Sheeet, Gunga, Seth MacFarlane did it better. Heck, even Robot Chicken! What is it with Seths?

  • Palpatine

    Did what better?

  • Brack to the Future

    How’s that ironic? Texas is like the plug in the bathtub that keeps America from slipping into the sewer.

  • Palpatine

    Please no. Religion and politics make things worse.

  • Like Icare

    You haven’t seen that movie until you’ve watched it in a local cinema while being seven years old and there are half the scenes missing.
    Still, no one complained.

    If you can’t raise the moopie, show it to the people with lower expectations.
    People across Africa and India may be poor – but there is a LOT of them.

  • Brack to the Future

    Ep 4-6 commentary/satire/understanding any sort of allusion to anything, ever.

  • Brack to the Future

    I can imagine. So you thought V-Ger was actually The Big V?

    Because when I was a youngling I watched this thing on broadcast teevee, and with commercials took like 4 hours. When I awoke I had pubes and a strong desire to screw our TRS-80.

  • Like Icare

    Oh come on! How else would we know that Jebus don’t like Queen?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMHYM1tq1uo

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-ewaCVARtM

  • Like Icare

    Cause them illegal former texicans are about the only ones looking forward to paying taxes.

    It’s sorta like poetry… so it rhymes…
    Taxes… Texas… Takes from us… Not lets us…

  • Like Icare

    FUCK YOU SAVING PRIVATE RYAN!
    HALF THE POPULATION OF THE WORLD (the half holding the monopoly on all the vagoons) ARE NOT REPRESENTED IN THAT MOOPIE!

  • Brack to the Future

    Justice
    Just us

    Tupac, Six-Pack, Six-Gun, Biggie
    NWA is out of biz
    But NWA is in da Hizzle
    A black man graces The Whitest House

  • its called bleach

    ty! i actually ghostwrote american ultra. max landis is a hack fraud

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’ve posted this shit stain before. It’s so damned easy to debunk any of his points. How is incest (limited to a kiss, no less) in a movie wrong, when they are not even aware of their siblingness? This guy is seriously trying too hard do something controversial to rack up the views. And his voice is probably the most annoying voice in the existence of voices.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    That’s not ironic. Who would want Texas?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    No. Texas is the asshole. Florida is the flaccid penis.

  • Like Icare

    Not that moopie. The one with that talking motorcycle.

    First Trek moopie I’ve seen was the one when they put bugs in people’s heads.
    Needles to say the idea of that didn’t thrill me at all.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    You should hear him sing “The Greatest Love of All.”

  • Niccageshair

    There’s a reason he’s making internet videos instead of movies.

  • Like Icare

    What? You forgot the Alamo already? What happened to never forget?
    Davy Crockett died croaked for your sins man…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=c24zIkPnLYI#t=32

  • Palpatine

    Ewoks and incest, two harmless things annoying Star Wars fans hate.

  • Like Icare

    A black man in the White House? I’ve seen that movie.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bW-wnpn01k

  • Niccageshair

    I mean this isn’t an Indy/Marion situation.

  • Beyond Boredom

    One for fellow UK residents: Jack looks like Jim “Can’t beat a bit o’ Bully” Bowen in the above pic.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Abe Vigoda is still alive…

  • Like Icare

    Wait… Wicket and Kneesaa are brother and sister?

  • Brack to the Future

    And he’ll live forever in our hearts as a Tessio gone bad

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    What an interesting accent he has, what is it, New Jersey?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Money, money, money, America, money, Speak English, dammit!, money, money, Winners!, money, We Built It, money, money, money, America.

  • Palpatine

    Wow, really?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I should send this guy a pizza roll and when I do I’m gonna shove right up his ass
    http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20051006220620/starwars/images/1/17/KitFisto-SithSnapshot.jpg

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    94 years old!

  • Palpatine

    No, just Old Jersey.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    His Depends must be soaking wet.

  • Like Icare

    For people wanting to stay up to date:
    http://www.abevigoda.com/

    There will be no iPods awarded if he ever dies, though.
    http://uk.eonline.com/news/255108/sick-woman-wins-ipod-for-predicting-when-amy-winehouse-would-die

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Inspired by the correlating HitB episode, I decided to watch the 2011 Conan with a friend I’ve recently managed to infect with RLM. It’s a great movie to make fun of with a group of friends. Kind of in the same vein as Blade. It also has Bane in it, whose nose hole Conan tickles. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O85rHHXRREE/UXvkRkJIAXI/AAAAAAAACfc/F3PSorkBiqE/s320/Conan+The+Barbarian+(2013).png

    But yeah, I made a new RLM fan and we’ve been binge watching HitB for the last past week. What the hell have you all been doing with your time?

  • Like Icare

    What… like a retro jersey?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There is a website dedicated to whether or not Abe Vigoda is alive?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He disabled the comments just like that annoying lady who seems to hate video games.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Why does he feel as if he has the right to determine the way women should or should not be represented in art? A person, male or female, can determine for themselves how to relate to a character, regardless if they’re male or female.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Dirty Jerz, euro style!

  • Brack to the Future

    I won’t watch anything to do with Conan after Weinberg.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Also, this guy does not really know SW all that well. He alluded to continuity errors that can be explained a lot by the inclusion of scenes (that I don’t consider cannon) in the 1997 re-releases. The fact he didn’t mention this, but complains about the 1997 re-release edits ‘just because’ makes absolutely no sense.

  • TapewormBike
  • TapewormBike

    There better be a new movie related content soon or I will go crazy (as everyone in here) in my own way and flood this place with puppy pictures.

  • Puppy power.

  • Brack to the Future

    Hey you guys I’ve contributed code to this thing we call the Interweb since my florg was a gherkin. Never have I seen such a disruption in SSL, .php and .cpanel/apache holdings. If I were you I’d limit my transactions for the next few hours.

  • TapewormBike
  • Brack to the Future

    That’s so cute. Where’d you find this?

  • TapewormBike

    Google “Imgur puppies”. My own pup tends to look too miserable on pictures.

  • Brack to the Future

    You did that just to cheer me up? Thanks, Tape.

  • TapewormBike
  • I once found an image of a custom amiibo of Toon Link wearing a bikini set. I can’t find it any more. Have this image of Shulk instead.
    http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140908013249/ssb/images/5/56/Shulk_swimsuit.png

  • TapewormBike

    http://i.imgur.com/9YD2lgk.jpg

    OK, found one picture where she’s not moping.

  • Brack to the Future

    Still, be careful. Remember Heartbleed?

  • TapewormBike

    I do, but I had no freaking idea what was going on. Luckily, my bank account is http://www.8pawsup.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/tlmd_mitos_que_afectan_la_vida_de_tu_mascota_17.jpg

  • Palpatine

    At least you’re not making comments about politics and religion.

  • Brack to the Future

    Awwwww, I’d give that bank all my debt notes!

  • TapewormBike

    Trust me, I have enough of that everywhere else these days.

  • I wanted to post an image of puppy poo. What the fuck was I thinking?

  • TapewormBike

    I’d be OK with that. Quite.

  • Pup Letter Media. Half in the Bowl: Episode 99 – Space Cop Dog.
    https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4009/4462587916_86dc1eb721.jpg

  • Palpatine

    That sums up my thoughts on discussions on religion and politics.

  • TapewormBike
  • Palpatine

    RLM seems more cat oriented if you ask me.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Meow let’s get back on track.

  • You ain’t kitten, but we’re entering a puppy phase now.

  • Palpatine

    Meow let’s get back on cat.

  • TapewormBike

    I have a bad feline about this.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What a kitten calamity.

  • Palpatine

    I can’t wait for Plinkett to release Eating Pussy: A Guide to Preparing Feline Meat.

  • Embrace the meow-ment.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well Star Wars has a Mexican we can understand for once so it’ll be out soon.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This party’s over.

  • TapewormBike

    Let’s paws for a moment

  • Don’t you mean purrty?

  • Palpatine

    When was this news revealed?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The ambassadors are Jedi Knights, I believe.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Over a year ago when Oscar Isaac was cast in the movie.

  • TapewormBike
  • Palpatine

    He’s Mexican?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe he just had a little sniff.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s Hispanic, whatever I was quoting Plinkett.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Jack and Rich should do Team Fortress 2. I know Jack enjoys it. How about doing on the annual Scream Fortress at the end of October?

  • The meat’s tastier when it’s uncooked.

  • Palpatine

    I didn’t know that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Cinco de Star Wars.

  • Scream Fortress has been in the decline when it comes to quality, I feel. The last good event being 4 or five years ago with the headless axeman.

  • Palpatine

    Speak American, you fuck!

  • TapewormBike
  • Wizard Phoenix

    When Pizza doesn’t cause MacGregor’s syndrome they’ll play it.

  • TapewormBike

    How could you, his name is not Juan.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I was born in Puerto Rico, Emperor.

  • You can’t be president, then. You immigrant fuck! YOU TOOK OUR JERBS!

  • Palpatine

    And your parents also belonged the cult that made SOS.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I technically can but I hate politics, especially the politics that involve a bunch of imbeciles meeting together in a giant mushroom and vote on things.

  • TapewormBike

    Super Mario politics?

  • Not true. They kind of enjoyed dog sitter.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No I mean the kind that deal with trade negotiations and are to stupid to think that an army is a good idea.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Dumbest Prequel line?

  • TapewormBike

    Sans the sand one?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Dioxicin

  • Gas!

  • Brack to the Future

    “I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend.”

    (I coincidentally said that to my 11th toe on my 11th birthday, after it had been rubber-banded for almost two weeks.)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Destroy what’s left of them.

  • TapewormBike

    I am sending you my new apprentice, Darth Vader. He will… take care of you.

    Because why not word it that way, mysterious cloaked figure who only caused problems for his allies?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why not “I truly deeply love you”? Didn’t Jimmy Jahns on Youtube said that was the moment you tell George Lucas failed completely at an important element to the movie?

  • TapewormBike

    He might have, but he talks too fast to catch it.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Roger, Roger.

  • Palpatine

    Pretty much all the lines said by Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme, Yoda, Mace Windu, Qui-Gon, C-3P0, R2-D2, Bail Organa, Count Dooku, Jar Jar, Shmi Skywalker, Boss Nass, Darth Maul, the Battle Droids, Nute Gunray, Rune Hakko, Dexter Jettser, Lama Su, Taun We, Chancellor Valorum, Sabe, Watto, Sebulba, Captain Tarples, Ki Adi Mundai, General Griveous, Jango Fett, Boba Fett, Sio Bibble, Kitster, Jabba, Mas Amedda, Queen Jamilla, Captain Panaka, Captain Typho, the Clone Troopers, Owen Lars, Beru Lars, Cliegg Lars, Poggle the Lesser, San Hill, Wat Tambor, Shu Mai, and Tion Medon.

  • TapewormBike

    Those guys are dicks.

  • Palpatine

    Did I miss anyone?

  • Hey, Palpy, give credit where it’s due. You’re the one who’s responsible for all this mess in the first place.

  • TapewormBike

    Chewbacca

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The blue person Jorge played.

  • Like Icare

    That’s exactly its purpose. Since 2001-05-08 at least.

    And if he makes it past 2016-05-08, he’ll outlast the domain for the site which monitors if he’s still alive.
    Prior to that they’ve been repeated attempts to bury him since at least 1982.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abe_Vigoda#Mistaken_reports_of_his_death

  • Palpatine

    He’s called Baron Papanoida.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What does Papanoida mean?

  • Palpatine

    It means “deadbeat dad”.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The character is or Jorge is? If it’s the later I doubt it, he seems to love his kids a lot. And they seem to understand story telling more than him.

  • Palpatine

    The first one, he’s had a lot of divorces.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s a Baron of some kind if you know what I mean.

  • TapewormBike
  • Like Icare

    Any of the lines spoken by the pizza roll. Half of that shit wasn’t even coherent. Or in English. Sounded Asian. Or African. Some language with an A in the front.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What’s with all the puppies?!

  • “A-muh-rican”?

  • Palpatine

    Like the one Snoppy fought? Merry Christmas, neon friend!

  • TapewormBike
  • instant relief

    Padme: To be angry is to be human.

    Right after Anakin confesses he slaughtered that whole village.

  • Like Icare

    In my language “papan” is slang basically meaning “an idiot”.

    Possibly something in relation to hoof (papak – which is also slang for uncultured/uncivilized “peasant”, usually also stupid) – which would be basically a metaphor for someone with intelligence appropriate to hoofed cattle.

    And as android mean “shaped like a man” – in that vein, Papanoida would be something like “shaped like an idiot”.

  • Noah R.

    “Yipppeeee!”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t forget That Twirp

  • Like Icare

    Hey! Even Hitler had Eva Braun…

    Chicks love a project… as long as it’s either rich, powerful or good looking. Something they can “improve”.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S57XyZc-uTo

  • Like Icare

    Muhrican starts with Muh, not A.

  • Depends on the dialect.

  • Wow, HD graphics!
    *puts gun to head*
    *fade to black, gunshot*
    Gnight

  • FFFfffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

    http://gifs.gifbin.com/092011/1315849047_chuck_norris_punching.gif

  • instant relief

    Now, that’s pot smoking!

  • instant relief

    *fade to black, gunshot*

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Anikin should have cut obi’s legs off.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    midichlorinated water.

  • RLMkeepitup

    chorus cant?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Essexish, probably Chelmsford.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    what did you call me?!

  • instant relief

    I’ll (sw)allow it.

  • *horny pitbull vomit gif*

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “You know what to do…”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Even the R2-D2 lines were stupid? Oh, god!

  • Palpatine

    I don’t think the comment section has been this dead before.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Hmmm. I’ll take your word for it. As a Pennsylvanian, it sounds like a Scottish accent to me.

  • RLMkeepitup

    at least halloween is coming. do you dress up as palpatine during such events?

  • Palpatine

    No, I dress up as a 19 year old kid who’s only 5’3, skinny, has bad hair, and wears big glasses.

  • Biggiesized

    Isn’t this game just Excitebike 64 soccer mode?

  • RLMkeepitup

    crosses arms, who is that supposed to be?

  • Palpatine

    Not my IRL self, that’s for sure!

  • RLMkeepitup

    ohhhh sssuuurre. Ah-ha

  • Shane O’Shaughnessy

    “Don’t run out of fool.”
    – Rich Evans

  • Shane O’Shaughnessy

    Nope. Nothing like it. Try again, doofus.

  • Palpatine

    “Doofus”, now that’s an insult no one uses anymore.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Have any fellow sci-fi nerds seen the Cronenberg movie Scanners? I just watched it and felt The Matrix ripped it off at times. Linking a human nervous system to a computer, going inside another person’s body… Considering the Wachowskis ripped off a million other movies in The Matrix I wouldn’t be surprised.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrW3E6BN5Dg

  • Noah R.

    An elegant insult for a more civilized age.

  • Noah R.

    Hopefully Taco will be back in full force again… *Sighs… It isn’t the same anymore.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What is it with this Scanners fad recently? First Taco, then me, now you.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    In Finnish, “papana” is a kind of poop. You know, the kind rabbits make? “Papanoida” is the verb for that.

    1. Taidanpa papanoida lattialle.
    I think I’ll poop on the floor.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And sounds like he’s constantly shouting.

  • bleurgh

    Does anyone else get a sick and uneasy feeling in their stomach when they see Star Wars Force Awakens toys in stores for $45. The film isn’t even out yet! What if it sucks?! What if it’s worse than the Phantom Menace? Maybe I’ve just been psychologically scarred from the Jar Jar related toys I got for Christmas that one year, presumably before I saw the movie and realized Jar Jar was gross and stupid.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    All this RLM comments browsing must be causing our movie watching habits to sync up like the menstrual cycles of female roommates.

  • Jaws 5 – Jawsmentday
  • Jaws 5 – Jawsmentday

    Captain Phasma was reduced to 45 cents on account of nobody wanted it, and hell who can blame em really.

    ”Hey son look what Santa got ya for Christmas”
    ”Aww not Captain Phasma :(”

  • Jaws 5 – Jawsmentday

    So anyway, Cypher Raige went up to Captain Phasma and was like,
    ”lol, dude you can’t be serious.”

  • tOmy`

    Well, there is some shit going on (what a reference!!!) but this one is actually worth seeing. Like… a lot. Do it.

  • tOmy`

    This should be a general rule of discographies: Once you start downloading someone’s complete works and it is stored in like 20 different folders, each with different artist “name”, you know you are in for a long haul.

  • Jaws 5 – Jawsmentday

    ”Hey honey, lookin for a good time?”
    ”General Hux, is that you?”
    ”mmm, you know it baby”
    ”nice outfit dude, lol”
    ”thank you honey, now bend over”
    ”yes sir!”
    ”mmm oh yeah, I’m usin the force now baby”

  • tOmy`

    The story of Mystery Scarf: Once upon a time there was a cheerleader who got a bit too drunk. Let’s say, for all the purposes intended, shitfaced. And (s)he got home with a lady’s scarf. Nobody knows where that scarf came from, nobody knows whose it is. It is a nice scarf. It is a black scarf. It also implies that the cheerleader was so goddamn out of it (s)he doesn’t even know who was such a sport and gave it to her / him.

    Now gather ’round children, as I am gonna update you on this story. It’s gonna be amusing journey through apologies, half-arsed explanations and total disregard for basic rules of drinking on a Monday fucking night.

  • tOmy`

    You sorta killed it with comparing Fast & Furious to Trainspotting.

    We have limits, dude, we have limits.

  • tOmy`

    Also: I heard there is a new music review coming up that no one will care about.

    So… you know… content.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    “Hey, there are other ways besides intercourse between a man’s penis and a woman’s vagina to show you love someone.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kgtxf_1aKi8

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    That sounds like a real… pain in the neck.

    *slide whistle apocalypse*

  • Jaws 5 – Jawsmentday

    Bill Cosby strikes again

  • Jaws 5 – Jawsmentday

    see the problem is, Rocket League needs this for its soundtrack
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLUnBzSBMjg

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I truly disagree. Each year has been (mostly) better. Horseless Headless Horseman was good, but MERASMUS! and the Redmond and Blutarch were the best. 2014 was fun though.

  • tOmy`

    Fucking campers.

  • tOmy`

    The story of the Mystery Scarf Vol. 2: The Plot Thickens

    Because nobody remembers anything. The scarf is still casually hanging in my room. It reminds me of better, happier times. It reminds me of moments in life that haven’t been defined by almost urgent need to throw up, looming threat of incoming headache and joyous feeling of willing to eat something.

  • TapewormBike

    What did Matrix not rip off?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I have a crusty sock stuck in my ceiling. Nobody knows how it got there either.

  • Like Icare

    I keep thinking of an asthmatic character coughing up phlegm.

    Will she be asthmatic? You know… like Vader?

  • Domo

    We moved into a house with a weird indoor plant box that we wanted to remove. When we cut out some of the plaster, there was a cardboard box inside with a big old pile of shit in it. There was a note left explaining why it was there.

    Sometimes it’s better to not know why there’s a crusty sock in your ceiling.

  • TapewormBike

    Umm…what was the reason?

  • TapewormBike

    I have that with food that ends up moldy in the weirdest of places. I think past-me is sending me cryptic messages via the illogical placement of apples and onions.

  • Like Icare

    McClintock effect has been pretty much debunked though.

    Or it would’ve been in any serious scientific field, but since anything flies in psychology… eh… that shit will continue to pollute science for decades more.
    Like that shit that lesbians are depressive and suicidal cause they don’t get cock.

  • Domo

    When the house was built, there was no place for the construction workers to do their business, so they did it in that box. Since no one wanted to remove it from the property, they stuck inside the bathroom walls and sealed it up, leaving a note behind as a bit of a joke.

  • TapewormBike

    Whoa, you animal.

  • TapewormBike

    What a legacy to be left behind. Coincidentally, put through thesaurus “left behind” can be “sinister bottom”

  • Domo

    I either blame Andrew or your dog. I think they’re conspiring together for a giggle or two.

  • TapewormBike

    My dog is too lazy unless I leave my plate near the egde of the table.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Look closely. I’m sure there’s binary encoded in those appleseeds.

  • Domo

    Then it’s definitely Andrew.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    My wallet, because that movie fucking rocked.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    In that case we must have all watched the movie around the same time by coincidence. Seems pretty far-fetched, though. Maybe we should test the first theory before we come to any conclusions.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    That’s a shit story. No offense.

  • tOmy`

    Good news everyone! Just like Skrillex and Knife Party, another dubstep superstar is coming back and… not doing dubstep anymore. All hail to Flux Pavilion – yet another person basically confirming that this genre is fucking dead.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3OoeWNju2w

  • Domo

    It’s positively fecal.

  • TapewormBike

    My gf half seriously suggested that the house might be haunted. Of all the movies I could end up in, I have to live in Paranormal Activity?

  • Domo

    RLM has an Annabelle doll you could probably borrow if you wanted to scare her.

  • Like Icare

    If nothing else it gave us another funny religion.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matrixism

    They were going to be like really radical religious ramblers, yo.
    They were gonna use the new tech to spread the word to the world.
    Tech like spam. And stickers.
    http://web.archive.org/web/20090901220358/http://geocities.com/matrixism/hacking.html

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Install some cameras, download an editing program, and with almost no effort at all you too could make a huge profit while spawning endless sequels that will continue to do reasonably well despite being exact copies of the previous films.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Isn’t it ironic that the tagline “real events” doesn’t sound as good as “based on real events”?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Oh mah gaaaahhhd. Remember GeoCities? What a hit!

  • Like Icare

    Since pheromones (basic gist of McClintock effect) don’t carry over interwebz it is an unrelated occurrence as far as similarity to supposed menstrual cycle synchronization goes.

    On the other hand thoughts and ideas can both influence people’s conscious behavior AND they can be exchanged and shared over the interwebz.
    In other words… I like to fuck my cat.

  • Like Icare

    Maybe you’re living in a Ghostbusters movie?

    Only there are no GhostbustersTM where you live due to patenting issues regarding portable cyclotrons and electromagnetic traps.

  • marko112kg

    Did Rich Evans lose weight?

  • Like Icare

    Dubstep only existed cause USA interrogators needed cheap and readily available culture-shock tools for their container-based inquisition cells.
    Now that it is no longer useful or in such high demand… it’s going to the same pile where disco should have always stayed.
    Remember when that crap made a comeback?

  • Like Icare

    Oh yeah…

    I think I may still have somewhere a computer magazine announcing this new thing on the “net” called animated GIFs.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    It was Force Friday and I missed it? How did that happen? Do you think I’ll still be able to get any Star Wars toy I want, any time I want to, even without all the forced desperation, general assholery, and big Public Relations push?

    (And, yeah, the pun was intended, but I hate it when people tell you the pun was intended because that means they think you’re too slow for puns. So, I didn’t even italicize it or anything. You’re welcome.)

  • Jaws

    also left behind was one of the best movies ever made actually make that worst movies ever made

  • Jaws

    just wait a coupla weeks bro, im sure youll find the captain phasma doll in the bargain bin at walmart for like 50 cents

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Right?

  • Like Icare

    No. You will forever desire that special limited edition toy until all that desire turns into hate inside you and you start tracking down people who do have it, locking them up in your basement and anally raping them with their copy of that limited edition toy until they succumb to dehydration and phthalate poisoning.

    I hope you have enough oil drums and detergent and lye “lying around”.
    Remember, you need the one with enzymes. They are the ones that dissolve organic matter into sludge that you can just pour out in sewers.
    Over a grate, naturally. You don’t want them bones, implants and kidney stones “lying around”.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Only if your pinkie finger is extended when you say it.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Was that “lying” pun intended?

  • Jaws

    the question is could the force awakens have a worse title, no, but then again it couldve had RISE in the title, remember that, how every generic fucking hollywood movie that had no imagination had to have RISE.. or RISING.. yeah that took some real imagination there hollywood, but stil the force awakens fucking sucks as a titile, ANYBODY could think of a better titlle than that, my dead grandmother couldve done better and shes fucking dead the phantom menace was a better title ffs

  • Like Icare

    So like… Were the plants happy?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Dawn of the Rise of the Force Wars

  • Like Icare

    A gentlemen never takes out his pinkie in the public. It is impolite to brag.

  • Like Icare

    At least one of them was.

  • Like Icare

    force awakens fucking sucks as a titile

    Yeah. I too fear that there will be a serious lack of tits in that movie.
    Hutt tits don’t count.

  • Jaws
  • Jaws

    captain phasma ;p

  • instant relief

    Star Wars 7: Resurgence is way better!

  • Bubs

    I just had a horrifying feeling. Was it Deja Vu? I’m not sure.
    I was sitting here working, and it’s about 6:30 am where I live. My office has a clear view of the street and a familiar roaring came up the street. As I watched the window, a big yellow school bus went past and for one sick moment I thought, “Shit, I’m gonna be late for school.”

    It was like one of those dreams where you find out you have to repeat the second grade, despite knowing that you’re 36 years old. Except I was awake. REAL LIFE IS SCARY!

  • Bubs

    Star Wars: Lightsabers Are Neat!
    Star Wars: Jedis is the Good Guys Vs. Sith (Bad guyz)
    Star Wars: How I Spent My Life Day Vacation

    There. Those are 3 worse titles (some of which have already actually been made into movies).

  • Earth

    Before the movie comes out is the best time to be selling this shit. That way if everyone hates it, you still make $$$.

  • Earth

    “They must be dead by now. Destroy what’s left of them.”

  • Earth
  • Welcome Back Otter

    You stuck-up, scruffy-looking nerf herder!

  • Welcome Back Otter

    That music playing in the background is REALLY distracting. Perhaps something a little more subtle, next time?

  • Earth

    Leia is an actual “character”. None of the prequel women are. I don’t get his point about Leia not being a protagonist. She is. Luke is the main character, sure, but Leia has a more or less similar role to Han in the films.

    Also, the Bechdel Test actually being used as a serious movie thing is stupid. I’m bored of it being brought up.

  • Earth

    I swear these people woulnd’t get so much hate if they didn’t come off so bad tonally. There’s nothing wrong with pointing out that games are sexist. The problem is she points it out as an accusation, not only towards the developers, but towards the community as well.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    I can beat this. Last week I had plans on Tuesday night to meet friends at a bar at 9:00 PM, and, since I wanted to be able to enjoy myself, I decided to take a quick power-nap beforehand. When my alarm went off at 8:40, I chastised myself for mis-setting it, in a panic that I was two and a half hours late to catch the bus to work. Hurriedly, I threw on my slacks and tied my necktie and raced out of the apartment, only to realize half-way to the bus-stop that it was awfully dark for 8:30 in the morning.

    Boy-o, did I feel stupid!

  • instant relief

    Wait, you watched the actual video? Weirdo!

  • instant relief

    They made a whole movie about that guy? Why is there no color and why is the CGI so crappy?
    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_21c2sfFKqC0/TJPxd3YR77I/AAAAAAAADsg/tYTUiTsuWTI/s1600/gothmog.jpg

  • TapewormBike

    Yeah, that’d be real hard with someone who covers her eyes during Gravity Falls.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s deja something.

  • instant relief

    Captain Phasma forgot her diaphragm.

  • Bubs

    It’s dead? Thank GOD!
    I’m going to celebrate with tequila shots and Metallica.

  • Bubs

    Dellow Fellagates.

  • instant relief

    Deja Hugh! Hugh, jack me off, man!

    That’s all for tonight, folks! I’m here all week!

  • instant relief

    Luke chews the force.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its called a flashback. PTSD will do that to you….

  • tOmy`

    I think it is safe to assume that after Daft Punk’s RAM album everybody believes that it should be them and only them to ever produce any more disco.

  • tOmy`

    Gravity is scary. Ever seen what that stuff can do to your junk?

  • tOmy`

    Written and directed

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Tell me about it! we all know boobs sag but no one told me my balls would end up halfway to my knees. FUCK YOU SANDRA BOLLIKS.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    If there was ever a place to ask this question this is it.
    Do you think the DeathStar has enough fire power to kill Superman?

    Personally i think the Man of Steel is a puff of smoke.
    *Even assuming he is near a yellow sun*

  • Palpatine

    I suggested using Kryptonite for the Death Star superlaser, but no, it was too hard to find.

  • Bubs

    Superman is the worst superhero. Ever.

    He’s so horribly designed, impossibly OP. He wears red underwear on the outside. And he’s a fucking space alien. He’s completely un-relatable in every way.

    So no. I think Stupidman would beat the Death Star, because of how stupidly overpowered he is. He’d just use his laser vision and melt the universe or some other stupid shit. Fuck Superman. Fuck everything.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Even if he wins, its 9/11 #doublefucked

  • RLMkeepitup

    we send our brave young kids off to fight ignorance, but can’t teach them to cope with reality pains #doublefucked

  • RLMkeepitup

    it wouldn’t be surprising if you named yourself Jaws Rising just to get a rise out of us and star as the tittular antagonist the world desperately needs

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    I love my parents, Han Solo and Princess Leia.

    Your parents are Han Solo and Princess Leia? Who are you? Three or four characters in The Force Awakens, including, probably, the good guy and the bad guy?

    No, I just slipped a serial comma. I love Han Solo, Princess Leia and my parents.

  • Palpatine

    Well, summer movie season is over, and you know what that means? That’s right, Oscar movie season is upon us! Yay!

  • Brack to the Future

    I dunno. Lex gets it, Bruce gets it, shit even Green Old-Ass Arrow gets some Big K. Seems only slightly rarer than mirrored unobtainium, or whatever my scratched-up Oakleys are made of.

  • Brack to the Future

    Great point. What if one of the Death Star’s defense mechanisms was the annihilation of the solar system in which it’s parked? Mutual Assured Destruction, wasn’t that a republican thing in the 80s?

  • Brack to the Future

    I sense a great disturbance in the pants-Force. Perhaps a love triangle with Luke’s kids? Gross and creepy, just the way George likes it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    there’s a version of Jungle book coming that has Bill Murray as Baloo, Ben Kingsley as Bagheera, Scarlett Johansen as Kaa, and Christopher Walken as King Louie. unfortunately its not live action though, only the voices.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Is it really incest if the writer doesn’t know yet the characters are siblings?

  • RLMkeepitup

    he should have w̶r̶o̶t̶e̶ read the script

  • RLMkeepitup

    its a helluva lot easier than finding a hidden base we know that much

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I say yes. As a fan of Superman, I very much dislike the invulnerable version of Superman (Silver Age). Superman is Superman because of what he represents, not because of how powerful he is. He isn’t even in the top 10 (or top 20) most powerful DC character, or shouldn’t be, in my opinion.

  • Palpatine

    That sounds interesting.

  • Brack to the Future

    I think the Empire is craftier than that. They’d use a little boy drowning on a holodeck to lure him into a vault out in spaaaaace. Then by the time he broke his way out, he’d be warped through a wormhole fighting Doomsday’s evil stepsister.

  • Brack to the Future

    Are we ever going to see Mister Plinkett again?

  • Palpatine

    No.

  • Brack to the Future

    Well then, considering the crash of Alibaba I think I’ll order a cheap dirt bike and occupy my time with dirtbike dirtbaggery out in the desert! Good day!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    We’ll all have a meetup in hell. It’s gonna be great.

  • Palpatine

    I’m already there.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • TapewormBike

    Now that’s a find

  • dollar store cashier wife

    creeps on reddit found it. I’m just gonna wait for my banhammer now.

  • TapewormBike

    Well, you did reveal the personal information that Colin is a funny fucker.

  • TapewormBike

    Def, but he’d kick some Jedi ass.

  • Like Icare

    Personally i think the Man of Steel is a puff of smoke.

    You don’t want smoke near Superman. He might sneeze.
    http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/6/69005/2742538-supersneezeae9.jpg
    You don’t wanna know what happens if he farts.

    Those questions should be asked in the form of “Who would win? Superman or…”
    Simply to save time. Answer is always “Yes.”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And a very talented voice talented.

  • Well, if I were Colin, I’d go to great lengths to hide this from the public. Banhammer is ago.

    Nah, it was somewhat entertaining. And has anybody actually seen this movie? I don’t think I’ve even heard of it.

  • Darkseid of Apokolips needs a better spell chequer.

  • Some fanboy already made that movie. Kind of. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3tC8TPh9oQ

  • Palpatine

    What?

  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darkseid

    In case you didn’t get it, the chequer part was a joke.

  • Like Icare

    Yeah… Brains have no notion of time. Things drilled into us at young age stay there forever.

  • tOmy`

    Check out his special powers. It is gonna take a lot of newly found teamwork to take this sucker down.

  • All you need is a spelling bee contest.

  • tOmy`

    With great spelling bee contest comes a great spelling responsibility.

  • Like Icare

    Why else would he be that pissed off? He’s a Grammar Nazi.
    https://comicallycool.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/hilter-darkseid.jpg

    Funny thing is, they spelled Main Kampf wrong and he didn’t notice.

  • Like Icare

    I thought he was a hyrax?

  • Like Icare
  • The typist had a cold.

  • TapewormBike

    There is also the issue of Grammar Nazi Army rising

  • Niccageshair

    No it means Fuck you it’s January is only a couple months away!!!!!!!!

  • TapewormBike

    So the gaming world is going crazy with MGS V (understandably), but this is in my book the best Metal Gear game. http://philome.la/BitSocket/everybody-loves-metal-gear-raymond

  • Niccageshair

    Since Sandler got his turd out of the way, what horrors are we expecting for “Fuck you it’s January” this year?

  • Palpatine
  • TapewormBike

    The existential horror of a chilly sunday morning when you wake up, the sun shines a sickly ray of light in you eyes as if spitting in them and you realize that the Earth is an uncaring piece of rock floating in darkness.

  • Palpatine

    Bad horror movies.

  • Jay Stein

    Oh pardon me. I get PASSIONATE about videogames..

  • Niccageshair

    Got to have that holiday possession film or it just isn’t right.

  • Niccageshair

    Lars von Trier is that you?

  • I can sympathize with Hitler on that level.

  • Palpatine

    Jumpscare!

  • The video doesn’t work, Palpy.

  • instant relief

    Yes, gimme all your dicksauce.. I mean disgust!

  • TapewormBike
  • I stepped into dog piss today. Can I have a metal print of that?

  • Palpatine

    Fixed it.

  • Palpatine

    I got mauled by one today. Can I have a picture of that?

  • Only 44.99 on photobucket, Palpy. It’s a steal!

  • Like Icare

    and you realize that the Earth is an uncaring piece of rock floating in darkness.

    And that’s the GOOD part.

    Seriously…
    Pick up Crown of Stars by James Tiptree, Jr. (AKA Alice B. Sheldon).
    Among many “happy” stories (which include yummy human babies and drugged up soldiers shitting themselves then killing everyone around) there a story about a girl trying to fuck the planet. As in Earth.

    Plot twist – Earth IS a caring piece of rock.

    But it does not care about the human girl (which it abuses for fun) but about another planet.
    Then Earth and that other planet have sex. As in they slam into one another.

    That collection is also charming cause it contains the story which basically describes author’s plan to kill her husband in his sleep and then to die herself while being burned alive.
    Which is completely different from reality where she shot her husband while he slept and then shot herself too, some three months after writing that story.

    The girl in the story is also a no good, self-centered bitch. Getit?

  • Like Icare

    Are you… a mailman?

  • TapewormBike
  • Palpatine

    Part time.

  • Like Icare

    It is a well known fact that corgis are great with computers.

    http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/bebopclan/ein13.jpg

  • TapewormBike

    You know Jay (hiyaaa!) likes them, what is your favourite feel bad movie?

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/81/d1/48/81d1489de5550cbcb133d88f3097dfc7.jpg

  • RLMkeepitup
  • That’s not a pup.

  • TapewormBike

    That’s a piggy in itty bitty booties and as such gets to be on the same level. I’d ask you then to please shut your whore mouth.

  • RLMkeepitup

    1984

  • Palpatine

    Nukie.

  • Well, I never.

  • TapewormBike

    I don’t think I ever saw the movie version. I always thought that seeing Brazil was enough.

  • Eternal Sunshine? Donnie Darko? My mind is kind of blank right now. Oh, I know – Melancholia.

  • Like Icare

    And it already has a shotgun on the poster…

    http://img.4plebs.org/boards/tv/image/1366/08/1366081408924.gif

  • Like Icare

    Brazil characters are smarter.

    Everyone in 1984 is a complete idiot.

  • TapewormBike

    Eternal Sunshine is literally my favourite movie and there is something hopeful about it, even if the bitter part of the bittersweet ending is what sticks with you.

  • TapewormBike

    Who’s afraid of rats, anyway?

  • TapewormBike
  • Wizard Phoenix

    If my life was a movie I would say that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Feel bad means suicidal?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A curse given to him by Eloise Cole.

  • Niccageshair

    God Bless You, Ice Cube, You Crazy Motherfucker

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Horror “films”, “comedies”, and action films that are really awful.

  • Palpatine

    It does to me.

  • Brack to the Future

    I don’t know, Apokolips sounds pretty erotic, like a porn gal with really strong kegels.

  • Brack to the Future

    First Blood.

  • Brack to the Future

    Seems like when you get down to it he had a concussion and his life was ruined. Makes me feel terrible.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I kinda hate Melancholia. The boobs were pointless, the sadness and bullshit was shoved into your head like a nail to a skull, and was Big Boss in the movie? He and the character served no real purpose.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Brack to the Future

    Melancholia is so great in so many ways. It makes me feel good, like
    there is honesty in the world; and there is certain nobility in the reflex of trying to protect a child even as that world comes apart. Oh, if I could kiss a movie.

  • Niccageshair

    All dreams come true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Like Icare

    It’s not the rats but supposedly the idea that BB knows that it is rats in the walls that are producing the sound that scares Winston, when he himself doesn’t know that.

    And since Winston is stupid as shit, it never crosses his mind that maybe they torture everyone with rats, or that it was a lucky guess, or that they’ve figured it out by watching him while he sleeps while rats made noises in the walls OR that BB purposefully induced that phobia in him.
    Nope… He just breaks there cause resistance is futile if they know you better than you know yourself.

    Sam Lowry understands that the system is broken and he exploits the holes in it.
    He just fails to imagine the extent of system’s inefficiency cause he’s a guy who gets things done. He doesn’t realize that the system is working just fine – it is supposed to be insane.
    Still, in the end he manages to beat the insane system by going insane himself.
    He finds a hole in the system.

  • instant relief

    I just came without masturbating!

  • Brack to the Future

    I think this entry actually breaks the record for rumored stuff on imdb.

  • Like Icare

    That’s only a rumor.

  • Niccageshair

    Kind of stunned Tommy Wiseau and Samuari Cop aren’t rumored

  • Palpatine

    My God, they’ve done it! They’ve reached Maximum Hack-Fraud Levels!

  • Brack to the Future

    It’s confirmed that Jay is 5′ 3¾”.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • THE FUCK? Why don’t they release Space Cop first, the hack frauds.

  • Brack to the Future

    Rambo is a total badass yet he’s kinda afraid of rats. That’s what I woulda said.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thank you creator of this video

    https://vimeo.com/138270209

  • instant relief

    Requiem for a Dream, Oldeuboi, The Fountain, Funny Games

  • Niccageshair

    This one is to get those last few dollars to finish the 100 million dollar post-production on Space Cop

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He makes Tom Cruise look like Tom Hanks. I don’t even know what that means.

  • Palpatine

    Horray for overused RLM memes!

  • Niccageshair

    3..2..3..4..4..2..3 and……it could be worse

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKcvfPGORYI

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Some of those jokes are pretty great. But what was not great was Ishtar.

  • Brack to the Future

    I rather like the Ishtar Bunny. He brings chocolate eggs and jelly beans, and if you can catch him and chop him up, he bleeds nougat.

  • Palpatine

    But did it take 12 years to make? Like Boyhood?

  • Niccageshair

    Should I try to add Rich and Jack on Steam?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    This is what happens when fans are desperate for new content.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    What does your heart tell you?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Did you know Samurai Cop is alive?

  • Palpatine

    So the same height as me.

  • Guess where this review surfaced first, Palpy? Your favourite webzone.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    See that was funny. However what was not funny was Ishtar.

  • Palpatine

    I got McGregor’s Syndrome from pizza.

    *Faaaaaaaaaart!*

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t tell I’m the tallest here. I’m 5’8 in actor height.

  • That’s because nothing makes sense in clinical depression. Do Quiet’s boobs make sense in MGSV, Wiz?

  • Palpatine

    PornHub?

  • instant relief

    No.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey I know what the SOS box means.

  • Brack to the Future

    It’s official, Her Majesty is the longest-serving British monarch in history. So you Canadians need to get her something nice. Not like that horrible Eye for her Jubilee.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    When pigs fly.

  • Both Close. I’ll give you a hint. It starts with an “R”.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well she dress like that because she breathes through her skin…it’s MGS let it be weird.

  • Brack to the Future

    I’m 6’5″ but I don’t count the extra quarter. I just slouch a bit.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    We’re going to make a statue out of a bunch of old smelted pennies since they’re no longer currency.

    The statue will be a larger penny … with her old, wrinkled face on it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Reddit?

  • Palpatine

    RLM starts the memes, we just get carried away with them.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Taco is back! Have you seen the posters?! Ishtar joke! Colin was in The Wild!

  • Ding! Ding! Ding! You win a pizza roll. I’ll send it to you via e-mail.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Both.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    MacGregor syndrome. Pizza. Fart.

  • *Then some blood farts

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There is a scene with Quiet in the rain and someone should make a mod to replace her with Big Boss.

  • Brack to the Future

    Yeah but they’ll fry your ass on Age of Empires. Be warned. Like meat in the machine, skirmishers roast you and pikemen come out of everywhere.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    How did memorize the tagline on the poster so accurately?

  • Photographic memory. It’s as easy as 1 2 3.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    The boobs weren’t exactly pointless. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • Palpatine

    12 years to make.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t tell where you’re sending it has to do with this picture.

    http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20051006220620/starwars/images/1/17/KitFisto-SithSnapshot.jpg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Do you live in a Church in Paris?

  • Brack to the Future

    No but my urologist says my sperm is still quasi-motile!

  • Like Icare

    How much is that in football fields?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    THAT’S A JOKE KEVIN JAMES! A JOKE YOU FAT FUCK!

  • Like Icare
  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Meanwhile, at Buckingham Palace…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPaKNafdJ18

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    How many apple boxes shorter than Mike is he?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Apollo 13 was the true Mission: Impossible!

  • Brack to the Future

    That might actually be worth something, unlike our French Hag in that disgusting low-rent New York harbor. Patina alone employs something like 300 people!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    They’re a hackier duo than Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman!

  • Like Icare

    Don’t they just use inflatable shoes these days?
    http://celebrities.9msn.com.au/img/blog/blog210109_robert.jpg

  • Like Icare

    bunch of old smelted pennies

    Keep reading that as old smelly penises…
    http://i.imgur.com/C96zTKU.png

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What does that arrow represent? It’s not useful at all.

    #FyuckYellowArrows

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I might not have noticed that … but my brain did.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Which posters? If the Ishtar joke is the fake HitB video, then I’m watching it now. No idea about Colin in The Wild.

  • Like Icare

    Crushing anxiety of existential dread faced by humanity alienated by the instantaneousness of the modern world?

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, that’s getting deleted.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    #NotAllYellowArrows
    #YesAllFootwear

  • Like Icare

    Aw come on… (not in THAT sense)

    Penile caricatures of monarchs need love too!
    Plus it’s patriotic.

  • Like Icare

    Yeah, but is this Patina guy paying them their lawful wages?

  • Like Icare

    Bite your tongue!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This video thumbnail are Rich and Jack’s respective O-faces.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Like Icare

    “Yell: OW! Arrows!” sounds like the answer to the question “What was the last thing that General Custard did?”

  • Palpatine

    Need I remind you what happened the last time someone posted a dick pic?

  • Like Icare

    Yeah, but this time it’s art.

    Also, it’s done tastefully. Like poetry.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “back in full force again”

    Is this a rape joke?

  • Like Icare

    Keep scrolling down for the wild Colin to appear. When upvotes start surging up, you’re there.

    Don’t forget your pokeball.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I made a bet that they all die … in real life!

    #IKnowSomePeople #PuttingsHitsOnPeopleIsFun

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Eh, what if he smartens up? Mike and Jay are charming, ya know? Also, they’ll get Rich to smite him.

  • Like Icare

    Redtube?

  • Palpatine

    Damn, that’s a nice bob cut.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Some people can do short hair well unlike that Shaleline-Shailey Woody girl who looks awful with short hair.

  • Palpatine

    Who?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    She’s that girl, you know, with the face? She’s in that movie where … stuff, happens? You see her boobses in one movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    She was in that movie with Miles Teller

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    She’s SUPERGIRL?!

    You see her boobses in a movie, too, or was that a TV show? …

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No the other Miles Teller movie.

  • Noah R.

    My Lightning Fast shirt just arrived and luckily it fits me! If I think about it I’ll take a picture 🙂

    Thanks RLM crew for getting some shirts up!

  • Noah R.

    Both.

  • Noah R.

    Welcome back.

  • Noah R.

    I somehow managed to become friends with both of ’em, why the hell not!?!

  • RLMkeepitup

    Rich has said repeatedly that his friends are full, good luck

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    What’s wrong with Jay’s face?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    The mummy already bit it.

  • instant relief

    Remember hiding your penis.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Is that what Omitted would have wanted?

  • instant relief

    Even Omi didn’t approve of Jay’s banhammer dangling on his forehead.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He was Amish

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    FYUCK YEAH!

  • instant relief

    Yuck, yeah?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Is that really our Colin? From Canada? Has racist views on Asian drivers?

    Cool.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    so did i.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Empire Strikes Back.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Not till hollywould reboots Next Gen with Barnyard Cumsabunch as Picard.

  • Jay Stein

    The butt-hurt is palpatine

  • Hank_Henshaw
  • TapewormBike

    Fuck Feah!

  • Jaws

    ”captain phasmaaaaaaaaaaaa!!”
    ”ah, dude, that’s MY line”
    ”who are you?”
    ”long hair, stone age, hanna barbera….”
    ”nope, not getting it”
    ”aw come on man, you know..captain cavemaaaannnnn!”
    ”oh.. oh… that was like a thing right?”’

  • Bubs

    That’s my OH MY GOD face. *blech*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yeah, Hulk’s green monster cock didn’t get deleted either, even though it was entering Scared Johanssen’s bum-bum.

  • Shakmaaaa!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Does she dress like that because she breathes through her skin, or does she breath through her skin so Hideo Kojima could dress her up like that? That’s the real question. Either way, I’m fine with it, although I think the stockings look kinda silly.

  • Domo

    I’m so glad I never heard this song at all this summer, but after seeing the artist/song title combo, I couldn’t help but laugh and think of the RLM community.

    OMI – Cheerleader

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGflUbPQfW8

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Paused at 0:27 when the vocals kicked in and realized it’s that song. Pity on him if that’s really his singing voice, and shame on him if it’s autotuned.

  • Domo

    I didn’t realize the song was a remix, because I came across it in an article about the Billboard charts for summer songs. You’d think they’d include the original song in the article.

    Internet journalism is getting just as hackfraud-y as RLM.

  • It might not be the problem with journalists. Maybe the green remix is much more popular. Remember Rob Zombie and dragula?

  • Who’s Feah?

  • Domo

    Ahhh. That might be it. Maybe Rob Zombie could use this Omi song in one of his new horror films, during a torture scene!

  • Maybe someone jacked off to it.

  • Maybe.

  • Domo

    *Pa Kent says

  • TapewormBike

    This describes my mood about him missing better. No tOmy reference though.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pI8WOAId-ZQ

  • Domo

    None of the clouds in that video are shaped like a penis.

    UNSUBSCRIBED.

  • TapewormBike

    In his absence, every cloud looks like penis to me.

  • Red Skeleton

    Are the Netherlands as shit in real life as they are in Minecraft? No wonder they smoke so much weed… what else are you going to do with all that fire lying around?

  • Jaws
  • tOmy`

    “The Guardian gave Kray twins crime drama Legend two stars in its review, but they were placed in such a way as to look like the other three were hidden behind Tom Hardy’s head.” Now that’s marketing!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/COaZeleUkAAxbYO.jpg

  • tOmy`

    This happens quite often with summer songs charts – when you think of it, the most “important” trend of the summer is dance music thanks to all the festivals and especially Ibiza scene. If you would for example look at Mixmag, they even do massive charts consisting solely of brand new remixes just for this summer / particular festivals.

  • tOmy`

    I think that particular mix got famous just because Matrix, no?

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    I just rewatched Her by Spike Jonze and I have a question:

    Did any of you guys feel the ending was slightly weaker than the rest of the movie?

    I mean, the general idea of how to develop Theodore’s character was very good, but you could not quite feel the final change and why he was capable of escaping the mindset he had towards relationships. You could understand why he was capable of that and the movie gave you clues, but I didn’t quite feel the ending had much to offer in terms of emotional closure.

    P.S. Sorry if I didn’t explain this too well – I haven’t written anything in english for quite some time.

  • tOmy`

    So I heard there is a new TV show that somehow flew a bit under radar despite featuring director of The Girl With A Dragon Tattoo and producer of True Detective. Also it is original by USA who previously did… well, CSI and similar stuff.

    Well, holy shit, I give you Mr. Robot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U94litUpZuc

    If you want to see something fucking awesome this year, watch this. It’s incredibly stylish, original, unique and pretty cool while not being way too obvious. This could very well be on par with Better Call Saul and Fargo this year.

  • Domo

    My memory is hazy because it’s been awhile, but I felt the ending worked really well. It was probably the first time in a long while where Theodore looked at the world for what it was, without all its technological distractions, and became happy with what he saw.

    That’s probably a terribly difficult theme to show visually, but Theodore walking around a room with no technology on, then looking outside and finally embracing what’s out there by walking to it, was a really nice way to display that theme.

  • Domo

    There’s a great website that does pretty in-depth TV reviews, one of their new ones being Mr. Robot, with a neat community to talk about shows. I haven’t watched the series, but plan to when I get the chance.

    http://tomandlorenzo.com/2015/09/mr-robot-eps1-9zer0day-avi/

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I havent seen it yet but there was rumors in the Geekverse that it was good.
    i can wait to To….taly pay money for that.

  • Jaws

    how is that difficult to display visually, ya just show a dude walking about, with a smile on his face, the difficult part was convincing him to grow that tash, now that must a been difficult, to like maintain, you ever had a tash? ya get all sorts of shit stuck in that thing, like soup, and bits of chicken. that tash alone deserved its own academy award man.

  • Domo
  • Jaws

    the only problem with that idea is rob zombie sucks, but i see what you did there

  • Jaws

    yeah but they aint showin the lizard hybrid alien illuminati who really do rule the world ahh see they wont show you that will they noooo why because then everybody would know the truth

    #911truth.org

  • Jaws

    what is the greatest thing of all time, that nobody talks about? answer – moonbuggies.
    we drove a car on the moon ppl, we did, we were doin burnouts on the fucking moon, and now look at us, we cant even launch a space shuttle 5 feet in the air without killin everybody on board. now see there’s a lesson in that for all of us. im not sure what it is exactly, but im pretty sure we could all learn something from moonbuggies.

  • tOmy`

    “Andrew Garfield wants Spider-Man to be portrayed as ‘pansexual’. Former Spider-Man star says he has ‘no preference’ as to how the character’s sexuality is depicted.”

    Somebody needs a dictionary, read up on the important characters of the very same universe their character is occupying and most likely a punch in the crotch.

  • Like Icare

    Someone needs to look up “no preference” and what that means.

    Something tells me it doesn’t exactly mean “everything”.

  • tOmy`

    I think he was really aiming at that whole “I don’t mind Spider-Man being gay” and used much more cooler buzz word.

  • Bubs

    Because, as we all know, there is nothing Peter Parker loved more than sucking a fat cock before heading out for a night on the town with Mary Jane. My favorite spider man comic is where he gets railed by Kingpin so he can get a date with Sue Storm.

  • TapewormBike

    Isn’t “pansexual” basically a term for “would fuck anything”?

  • TapewormBike

    Cause that’s hot.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Mike Huckabee and Kim Davis, the homophobic, Christ-y clerk from Kentucky, used “Eye of the Tiger” at a rally celebrating her release from jail, because it was the gayest song Huckabee could think of (he hasn’t been keeping up with pop music), and, boy, is Kenny Loggins pissed!

    (See, the joke is: “Eye the Tiger” is the one same-sex movie theme song from the 80’s that Kenny Loggins didn’t have anything to do with.)

  • Indeed.

  • Yes. This.

  • TapewormBike

    Wait, what about that one game I had a demo for and that was like racing on ski scooters on Playstation? Huh?

  • … Tuesday?

  • Like Icare

    I think he’s really semi-literate in more than just English language.

    “It’s hardly even groundbreaking! Why can’t he be gay? Why can’t he be into boys?”

    Someone needs to tell him that “Spiderman being into boys” carries slightly different connotations compared to “Spiderman being into guys”.
    Slight difference.

    Another thing is, there is already a character out there that fits “into boys” profile (and into girls too) whom Spiderman would have to compete with.
    His name is Pedobear. And he’s an Olympic athlete too.
    http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01573/bear_1573909c.jpg

    The only really “groundbreaking” thing here is the globalization of the “Blame Andrew” slogan.
    Can’t wait for some illiterate “journalist” to pick up on the snippets of google-chatter talking about Andrew being banned from a cat-fucking website for showing a photo of his penis to a gay guy from Finland.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They are called Reptilians! YOU FUCKING RACIST@!

  • Like Icare

    That’s right Susan.

  • Like Icare

    Cats, rocks, vegetables and an occasional idea.

  • Like Icare

    Boys don’t have fat cocks. I know. I used to be a boy.

    And boy was there a difference when puberty came around.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    OK Americans set your phasers to OUTRAGED!
    France and Italy get StarWars Force Awakens first, then 10 hours later Australia, then 12 hours after that the UK, then 24! HOURS later it will be released in the US.
    I want to teach you a new word “Spoilers” I know you think you know what it means. you aint seen nothing yet.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You know something i noticed a few weeks ago.
    The first trailer clearly says E-Corp lost 13 MILLION. the 2nd. the one you posted changed it to Billion, I assume after people ridiculed them online.

  • instant relief

    It’s already out in Germany.

  • fred

    ALright. Time to buy a coffee mug and their shitty overpriced Lightning Fast VCR T-shirt… what? no fucking…. FUUUUUUUUUU—

  • fred

    set your phasers to who gives a fuck.

  • fred

    In other news: mysterious piles of dead fish are appearing on the shore…

  • TapewormBike

    Czechs already hated the sequel.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I gouged one of my eyes out after episode 8.
    but then episode 9 was so dark i couldnt find my spoon.

  • TapewormBike

    The Josh Trank one was my favourite.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Enough about you! what about starwars?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I would so do the FOX NEWs interview with no pants on.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    les français donnent une baise

  • instant relief

    We only show ze movie to camp inmates.

  • instant relief

    So……. I just watched Colbert’s new show and it was kinda meh-ish.

  • TapewormBike

    Isn’t he the new Letterman now?

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Brown-Eye of the Tiger.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Is Huffington Post/Bufffeed/The Guardian sending people to this webzone? I’ve seen an influx of people acting like politics are something that are meant to be cared about.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    He was funny for five months in 2007.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Like, what? Why?,,,,,,

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Synonymous with Miley Cyrus.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yes. Exactly.

  • TapewormBike

    Thanks, Paul

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats right Susan. Now Rich with the weather….

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    I watched the Ben Wheatley movie Kill LIst last night; holy shit, it’s so good. I had watched a Field in England about a year ago and that is seriously one of my favorite movies. Kill List is so creepy and the violence is morbidly abrupt. I’m sure that was shot on digital and it looks great. Why are there not more movies like these?

  • Like Icare
  • Palpatine

    That’s what happens when RLM goes more than a week without posting stuff everyone here likes.

  • TapewormBike

    I was meaning to watch his stuff or like two years now, it looks incredible.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    I’ve been binge watching BotW reruns,,,

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    He is awesome. Kill List and A Field in England are two of the best movies I’ve seen in probably the past few years. Disclamior; don’t be fooled by the genre visage of period piece/crime movie. These are Horror Movies!

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Exactly; concerning her being a character beyond just token. It can be argued that she is equally as important as Luke because according to Yoda she is the other hope beyond Luke. And the Bechdel Test; what a bunch of BS that is. You could make an argument that the Bechdel Test is a presupposition that women MUST be included in a movie. What about movie’s like Predator, or JarHead. Both awesome movies; not much women interaction. Are we going to force that female presence for the sake of PCness over actual authenticity? It’s like in the Captain American movie (set during WWII) where there are black soldiers fighting. That didn’t happen actually during WWII. That’s not racism necessarily, it’s historical fact. Can’t wait for Peter Weir to re-release Master and Commander where women are digitally entered into scenes for the sake of the Bechdel Test.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow
  • dollar store cashier wife

    I can’t tell if you just linked your own youtube account or not.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, they don’t view gender as anything related to their sexual desires or something – hence the difference between pansexuality, bisexuality, this comment section and Andrew Garfield.

  • Palpatine

    That’s not a bad idea.

  • Earth

    I understand what the Bechdel Test is trying to accomplish. My problem with it is that it just doesn’t work as a means of combating sexism. If I was to make a movie with an all-female cast, but was using the film to say that women are inferior and should get back in the kitchen, I could still pass the Bechdel Test so long as two women spoke to each other about something other than men in the movie. And as you said, there are plenty of movies that aren’t sexist but also don’t have women in them.

    I understand what the Bechdel Test is trying to do, but I hate people bringing it up as some kind of critical point to make about a movie. I’ll take Leia any day over bland (hot-pants) Padame.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    I’ve decided that Mike is my favorite editor. The episode of Crazy Fat Ethel 2 is fucking hilarious. The Rich Evans News updates while the chase scene from Psycho from Texas plays in the lower corner is one of my favorite things; of all time.

  • Earth

    As an Englishman, I apologise for both Mail Online and The Guardian. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.

  • Earth

    Sweet.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Exactly. I understand why it’s been implemented as progressiveness becomes the norm; but I don’t like how it’s considered a default men gauge of whether a movie portrays women fairly. I agree, as a young boy watching Star Wars I understood the context that men are sort of in the forefront and that women are not necessarily involved in the ‘Star Wars’. A normal kid knows this and is probably able to relate to Leia fairly without other supplemental women characters.

  • Earth

    Meh. I’m just waiting for the Batman/Robin romance movie.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Male Online*?

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    As a Pennsylvanian of Primarily English Ancestry, I gladly accept your apology.

  • Earth

    Aw no, now you’ve made me want a Shakma T-Shirt.

  • Earth

    Great, now can we finally shoot her or abdicate her or whatever?

  • instant relief

    Not really.

  • TapewormBike

    Nah.

  • instant relief

    A/S/L?

  • TapewormBike

    Let’s just do it.

  • TapewormBike

    Yes.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    American Sign Language?
    African Sailing League (too soon)?

  • TapewormBike

    Anally Signed Lease

  • instant relief

    Anti-Saloon League!

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Anglo-Saxon Lip-syncing!

  • instant relief

    Let’s get ourselves a room then.

  • instant relief

    Anal sex license?

  • instant relief

    I thought Captain Hook was pansexual. https://youtu.be/6zXDo4dL7SU

  • Earth

    Well considering most of the content on that site you’re about half right.

  • Earth

    Why does everyone think Han and Leia will still be together? Leia will have broken up with Han and gone off with Lando.

  • instant relief

    The third act of TFA will be about Leia having a space abortion. I’m sorry, I meant an abortion…. IN SPAAAAACE!!!

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Actual Size of Linguini

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the fetus awakens?

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Definitely a ‘size matters’ sort of girl.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    18/f/cali

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    The fetus is separated into parts to be sold at space auction. Double to price due to high midi-chlorian count.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    In that case that’s a pretty obscure video you found there.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Disney should make a movie set in the Star Wars universe about space legislation. It would be super boring but, hey, it’s Star Wars. I wonder why this movie hasn’t already been,,,,oh wait….

  • TapewormBike

    tall hot blont?

  • TapewormBike
  • dollar store cashier wife

    u know it honeipye

  • Jay Stein

    You need to see Deathlist..Mike Stoklasa…

  • instant relief

    13/m/pornhub

  • instant relief

    That’d be an awkward abortion.

  • TapewormBike

    And off her fanny on cocaine.

  • TapewormBike

    u ther?

  • Like Icare

    That’s part of their standard operating procedure.

    Saves millions on air conditioning costs. Over a decade.

  • Palpatine

    I can’t think of anything to talk about, so here’s a video of apes yelling:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=unCynRgAiiI

  • TapewormBike

    Filmschool Rejects has a feature on the “Creatures of Force Awakens” and in the title photo in the front is what certainly looks like a black guy in goggles.

  • Palpatine

    It’s probably John Boyenga’s character Finn.

  • TapewormBike

    I don’t think so, but I don’t wanna say it for sure, because of reasons.

  • Palpatine

    Can you share the picture?

  • TapewormBike
  • Like Icare

    You don’t need a Letterman to know if the show blows.

    Just check for Leno.

    To be fair… I used to like his “headlines” segment.
    Then I acquired “an Internet Connection”. Talk about being ran over by the continuous march of progress.

  • Palpatine

    I think that could be him. But I do recognize Abrams and Daisy Ridley as Rey. And why is everything there real?

  • Like Icare

    Shorter than 1000 words.
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HQHef1oglKA/Tet2p8eb1zI/AAAAAAAAAJc/I8SoDJeMhq8/s1600/captain_jack_harkness.jpg

    I know… Right? Me short. Hah!

    This reminds me of that time…

  • Like Icare

    Getting?

    Journalism?

    Internet?

    Is?

    Letter ‘y’?

  • Like Icare

    That’s nothing that a moderate use of chemical weapons wouldn’t fix.

  • Like Icare

    In the words of John Carpenter – “Who?”

  • Like Icare

    Shakma Shirt has a ring to it.

    Now just come up with some electrostatic thingy for supposedly getting the wrinkles or dust or which keeps WiFi radiation from penetrating the wearer’s body (it’s perfectly fine to exploit mentally ill – psychiatrist make a living that way) or some “lose fat by wearing this shirt that will shock you 20000 times per day and make your muscles twitch thus you can continue to stuff your face with pie” thing.

    Any of those things would work with a brand name such as “Shakma ShirtTM”.

  • Like Icare

    Fuck Fey? I think I saw that one.

  • Brack to the Future

    ♪♫♪♫ Black Guy’s gonna get ya with the Kodak Disc! ♪♫

  • Like Icare

    Because they want to make it realistic and gritty. Like sand…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    donate sum $ to mah paypal nd we can resume our deep conversation bby

  • Palpatine

    But everyone here will hate it because we’re all cynical assholes.

  • Like Icare

    Put Grisham on it.

    No, seriously.

    He knows how to make that law thing exciting and interesting AND he used to be a Representative in the Mississippi House of Representatives.
    Then just add some sword-fighting scenes and replace all the cars with spaceships.

  • Brack to the Future

    I disagree. She’ll use the force to keep him in line, you know, mowing the space lawn, doing the pre-historic space dishes, taking the Bantha for a space walk. No, it’s Han who leaves her for Greedo’s widow.

  • Like Icare

    I’m preconditioned to hate it on account of Jar Jar’s involvement.

    Being a cynical asshole is just a bonus.

  • Brack to the Future

    Plus he’s sympathetic to people who like child porn, so you know the space jails will be vacant for all those other “hardened” criminals.

  • Palpatine

    Am I allowed to be excited for it?

  • Brack to the Future

    The funny part about A New Hope is that wasn’t the first time she dove into a trash compactor.

  • Brack to the Future

    Yeah that’s what a hot chick wants to hear: some kid whine about sand instead of gettin’ to them panties. Way to ruin Vader.

  • Like Icare

    Fine by me. What do I care. It’s your reputation.
    I’m not the one talking about ruling the galaxy and getting rid of the Jedi and stuff…

  • Palpatine

    How will liking it ruin my reputation?

  • Like Icare

    What are you saying?
    That Jedi were Force touching younglings in inappropriate places?

  • Brack to the Future

    No, widespread hologramming. At one point they had a galactic PSA called “R2-Don’t-2!”

  • Like Icare

    Liking something is a weakness.
    Next thing you know people are shouting “Do you also watch cartoons, mighty emperor?!” after you while you’re walking through the streets.

    Or they start sending you toys made for babies.

    Or baby food. Cause you’re old and you like things made for babies.

  • Palpatine

    So if Mike and Jay like it, will you stop being an RLM fan?

  • Brack to the Future

    Or they crossover hot chicks, Minions and bananas. Courtesy Memebase. http://ucs.link/banana

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fart

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That looks like a racist cartoon

  • Palpatine

    Jack’s face in video thumbnail seems to be saying “fuck you” to the people who keep checking the site for new content.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hold on, The Visit is apparently good?! This isn’t possible.

  • Palpatine

    Search your feelings, you will know it to be true.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, no. That’s not true! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Yeah, that would work. Sort of like how Star Trek was just a western, set in space (I’m talking the original series scrolling trolls).

  • Palpatine

    It seems in your anger, you killed her.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And then Yoda tells Obi Wan to talk to Qui Gon’s ghost!

  • Palpatine

    Fuck off, ghost!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s listed as a horror comedy. maybe M.Night finally became self aware.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Daisy Ridley is a pretty lady. She’s not like my ex girlfriend Anne but still attractive. Stop shoving that Oscar win in my face, Anne, you jerk!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Palpatine

    Plinkett should review The Last Airbender. Who’s with me?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That would require watching the cartoon.

  • Palpatine

    And Plinkett doesn’t watch cartoons.

  • instant relief

    Didn’t even see the movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    It’s so bad, even if you’re not a fan of the show you’ll hate it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It did make people curious about the show and they watch it resulting in them hating it even more.

  • TapewormBike

    It was mentioned before, but nah. Mike’s no passion for it.

  • Palpatine

    The poster was the best thing about the movie, even though Jar Jar has a creepy rape face.

  • Like Icare

    They’re not gonna tell me what to like or not to like!
    I’m my own man with my own preferences and everything.
    They’re not the boss of me!

    But I may cry a little in my quite possibly non-alcoholic beverage.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    When was the last time Mike was passionate about movies…stuff…anything?

  • TapewormBike

    When was the last proper Plinkett review?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Titanic in 2012.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Shyamalaahalahanaham is George Lucas x10000000000. He’s decent into complete hack fraudness and madness is extremely interesting and The Last Airbender is the ultimate culmination of it all.

  • TapewormBike

    There’s your answer

  • Palpatine

    Wait, the year 2012, or that stupid movie?

  • TapewormBike

    Aye, but he didn’t have fingers in our collective childhood.

  • instant relief

    I bet there are things he can get behind, IFYOUKNOWWHATIMSAYIN! https://youtu.be/Gbn_9-BwrVQ

  • Palpatine

    If you were a fan of the cartoon it was based on, he did.

  • Like Icare
  • TapewormBike

    It wasn’t that long ago, was it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But he’s inspired multiple filmmakers and film fans with his first three films and not to mention he destroyed a nearly flawless story.

  • instant relief

    I had that poster up on my wall back in ’99 and prayed in front of it every evening, but Space Obama didn’t listen to me.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the year tho. I think the movie is genuinely worthy of a Plinkett review.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The movie started production less than a year after the show ended.

  • TapewormBike

    Talk to the Stoklasa.

  • Palpatine

    The show was popular in the mid-2000’s.

  • Like Icare

    You should have prayed louder and harder. Space Obama is really high up there.

    And by high I mean he’s on drugs.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Still is I might add. It had everything you want. Crazy attractive ladies, a story about good vs evil, fantastic animation and great world building. Man I wonder who can fuck it up?

  • TapewormBike

    Plinkett reviews are dead, you can sit and drink beer while recording a commentary, while Rich does his magic.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thanks, Roland Emmerich! I hope someone shoves a club up your ass!

  • Palpatine

    The 80’s were a great time to be passionate about things.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Especially cocaine.

  • Brack to the Future

    I’m starting to think Rich is like the goldmine that is Karl Pilkington. A round-headed buffoon who’s basically the entire podcast.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Has there ever been a filmmaker who’s quality of films have declined as much as M. Night Shyamalan?

  • TapewormBike

    Rich is a bit too smart to be the Pilkington. But I’d definitely watch Evans Abroad.

  • Brack to the Future

    I had an airbender once. It’s what you get when you eat at Outback Steakhouse and your farts boomerang into your face.

  • Palpatine

    Pilkington sounds a lot like Plinkett.

  • Palpatine

    Lucas.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Really? I wouldn’t say so.

  • Palpatine

    He started off as a quality filmmaker, but eventually his films declined, fast.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Not M. Night fast. You see he broke Jorge’s record.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Coppola.

  • Brack to the Future

    Not to ever diminish Rich’s excellence or contribution, but what Stephen does is put a very talented guy in situations. And Ricky laughs his way to the bank because he’s just sold another sitcom to Sky.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean I can add a background in?!

  • Palpatine

    But he and Lucas basically went the same direction is what I’m saying.

  • TapewormBike

    But that’s real fucking heights to fall from, plus, he just got old and drunk a lots of his wine. Shyamalan does not have that excuse.

  • Palpatine

    Oh yes.

  • TapewormBike

    I don’t think anybody actually likes Gervais, but he somehow knows everyone.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh sure yeah but for different reasons. M. Night went down the same path for the same reasons Andy and Larry/Lana did, their egos told them they were invincible.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    True dat.

  • TapewormBike

    Now, what about that virtual shagging?

  • Palpatine

    Coppola made three cinematic masterpieces, and it all went downhill from there.

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh dear. He’s really sweet and funny. I met him at an MDA event and he was the most charming and humble host. He’s not at all like his persona, and at the time he was quite hurt over the media’s handling of his iPodge jogging paparazzi stuff.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He made Jack…

  • TapewormBike

    Which are those in your book?

  • TapewormBike

    Well that’s nice to hear. Don’t worry though, I actually am a dick in real life.

  • Palpatine

    The first two Godfathers and Apocalypse Now.

  • TapewormBike

    Add The Conversation, which is the best of them, in there and I say you’re right.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about Jack starring Robin Williams and Bill Cosby?

  • Palpatine

    Never seen it.

  • Palpatine

    Never seen that too.

  • Brack to the Future

    Well that’s okay. The world’s full of assholes.

  • TapewormBike

    It is seriously briliant.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Coppola directed it. It’s about a kid who ages fast not because he’s like a clone or something but he ages so fast so by the time he’s ten he’s a 45 year old Robin Williams.

  • Palpatine

    I’ve heard of it, is it any good?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh god no. It’s horrible.

  • Palpatine

    How can a comedy with Robin Williams be bad?

  • Brack to the Future

    Nice Prometheus reference. I simply love the gleam on the teeth of the undertaker in Godfather’s opening scene. Like stealing fire from Heaven.

    A Titan. And His liver gets eaten daily by a giant eagle. (Coppola’s, that is, as he progressed through Fatty Liver.)

  • TapewormBike

    Have you ever seen Old Dogs? That’s a Sandler quality movie.

  • M Night didn’t have a multimillion dollar franchise he sold off to Disney.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes because Bill Cosby is in it.

  • TapewormBike

    I’m sure they are already working on The Village ride.

  • TapewormBike

    Let’s get back to games, because that’s obviously my expertise. What is your favourite long running series?

  • Brack to the Future

    Doom. I can’t wait for the reboot.

  • Palpatine

    The Sims series.

  • TapewormBike

    I never even thought about Doom as a franchise, even if it obviously is. Doom 1 and 2 are the same game to me and 3 was something completely different.

  • Brack to the Future

    Yeah just what they meant at the time: true network mayhem with no cover mechanism. Such fun, such pre-ethernet glory!

  • TapewormBike

    Figures, controlling lives of the lesser people is what you’re known for.

  • I used to love Need For Speed until Underground came along. Technically, Hot Pursuit 2 for PC was shit too but it wasn’t the worst that could happen to the series. Hot Pursuit 2k10 was kind of fun, though.

    Metal Gear is definitely one of my favourites even if I stopped playing at 2 because I never bought a console.

    The most recent series needs to be the Souls series. I’m quite excited for Dark Souls 3.

    Oh, and on a related note, Capcom is finally releasing Dragon’s Dogma: Dark Arisen on PC!

  • TapewormBike

    I’d go with Fallout, but I never played the 3D ones.

  • As much as I enjoy Doom, I’m a Quake kid. Quake 2 is probably one of my favourite FPSes ever.

  • instant relief

    RollerCoaster Tycoon & SimCity

  • OH GOD, YES. I’ve finished Fallout 1 and 2 at least 4 or five times. Those games are brilliant.

  • TapewormBike

    I was a dumb kid, played Theme Park.

  • I played a modded version of DooM 3 that allowed singleplayer coop. It instantly made the game feel more like DooM 2, no more jump scares, just action.

  • instant relief

    Well, then you’re in luck, ’cause there are 2 new amusement park manager games in development right now.

    But why “dumb kid”? Theme Park was awesome as well.

  • Brack to the Future

    Does Chess count?

    No wait, Age of Empires. I’ll probably play that until I’m too stupid to eat sheep.

  • TapewormBike

    In that I was sorta scared of RollerCoaster Tycoon. Theme Hospital was brilliant as well.

  • instant relief

    I love Sims 3 & 4.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Zelda, Doom, Elder Scrolls, Mario, and Halo.

  • TapewormBike

    Ooh, that sounds good.

  • Brack to the Future

    I love old-school SimCity stuff.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is this the greatest film scene ever?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bN62MmT-lw

  • instant relief

    Yeah, Theme Hospital still rocks to this very day. Especially with a recent mod that enables HD resolutions.
    But why were you scared? It’s just such a cute & wonderful game. 🙂 I wasted my youth on that franchise.

  • The only good game Bungie ever made was Oni.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Onitted?

  • TapewormBike

    No MGS? I’d say that based on your comments about the latest Sutherland joint.

  • instant relief

    One of my first gaming experiences was Battle Chess on a monochrome display. 😀

  • TapewormBike

    Which reminds me, who played Onimusha?

  • Brack to the Future

    That sounds like sklnning Windows 7 to look like XP, if you know what I mean!

  • You know, I used to love David Hayter’s portrayal of Snake but after hearing modern voice acting in games… he’s really stiff and cheesy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Technically not long running seeing out there is a lot of gaps between games but it is one of my favorites. I love the latest game as much as I loved my ex Anne. Anne, why did you leave me?!

  • TapewormBike

    No idea, seemed more complicated. A bit later I played a lot of Steel Panthers, so, framkly, I don’t have an answer,

  • TapewormBike

    Battle Yess!

  • instant relief

    I wish they would make another one of those, but I know it will never happen seeing shooting with puppets was pretty much a nightmare.

  • TapewormBike

    I know he is, but what portion of that is, y’know, the dialogue?

  • instant relief

    RCT gave you lots of freedom and I loved it. I remember downloading empty maps with endless cash and then building my own parks from scratch.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There isn’t a lot of dialogue. A lot of the character’s actions is shown rather than told.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I kinda assumed that was done on purpose since there’s humor throughout the game it doesn’t take itself 100% seriously

  • TapewormBike

    I meant in the older games. And in those, I remember being in the codec for a LOT of time and cringing too.

  • TapewormBike

    Do you think a love can bloom in the comment section?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That was acceptable because of the 80’s action vibe. As the games went along to MGS4 Hayter was great and not cheesy as Snake.

  • Brack to the Future

    Grand Theft Auto. Remember Raspberry Ripple!? Or mowing down 17 Elvis impersonators? (I have four faves)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t like comments. They’re rough and course and it gets everywhere.

  • RLMkeepitup

    we used to drive around liberty island mowing cilvians down. they would regenerate by the time you did a complete loop

  • “ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!”
    “YOU SHOT YOUR LOAD!”

    I miss the GTA announcer.

  • TapewormBike

    My experience with those is mostly watching people. There’s a reason I don’t have a driver’s license in real life.

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh man the radio stations. You could drive all night.

  • I think you’d fit in playing Carmageddon. Those games were kind of groundbreaking back in the day.

  • TapewormBike

    I still need to actually play that somehow someday.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    When I started to play MGS4 Anne called me and said “J, I want to see someone else.” And then my next line is screaming.

  • Well, with Konami getting out of the console/pc market I think you might need to hurry. I hear they’ve been removing stock from store shelves in Japan.

  • TapewormBike

    I heard about them fucking up a lot lately.

  • Brack to the Future

    Just be careful. I hear these guys aren’t organic so your love might end up with some unapproved pesticides on it.

  • TapewormBike

    What I could never do was Final Fantasy. I tried the BEST EVER, seventh one on Playstation and 8 on PC and the random battles irritated me to no end, couldn’t play it.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Brack to the Future

    *jeff goldblum* You may be how do they say it, what do they call it … uh-uh .. an adult.

  • Disney Eyes.

  • TapewormBike

    I wasn’t at the time though. And I am pretty patient, but fuck that noise.

  • TapewormBike

    I don’t see greed in them.

  • You’re thinking of [redacted].

  • Brack to the Future

    Dark Castle on the old Macintosh is deeper than FF.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Speaking of greed where is the new trailer?

  • Greedo is dead. Han shot him first.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He must’ve gone up the ventilation shaft.

  • TapewormBike
  • Jay Stein

    Juvenile at best…

  • Jay Stein

    Now that is cute!

  • Glucose induced coma during eating?

  • TapewormBike

    And to you, Mag.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Nobody said anything about a puppy. I love puppies”

  • Palpatine

    He’s dead, Jim.

  • Palpatine

    Courtesy of the staff of the University of Pussy.

  • Palpatine

    I fell down a mineshaft.

  • Anybody here liked The Children of Men? This guy has a very interesting anal-sis of several filming techniques used by the director. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-woNlmVcdjc

  • Palpatine

    Guys, I just had a scary thought. You know how before The Phantom Menace came out, everyone got excited for it, thinking it was going to be greatest thing ever and then it sucked, well, what if the same thing happens with The Force Awakens?

  • There’s one way to avoid this, you know. Don’t get excited.

  • Palpatine

    So lower my expectations and I’ll like it better?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This would have been up last night except my girlfriend got a bit upset at me for using her laptop and that we weren’t watching Curb Your Enthusiasm instead. Anyway, here it is!

    Rich Evans Reacts to Colin from Canada – The Rock Hyrax
    https://youtu.be/ox_uG7t2Dn0

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This would have been up 7 hours after you posted it but the Force works in mysterious ways:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ox_uG7t2Dn0

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Hey Ladies!

    Here’s a…thing you can buy.

    http://www.lovehoney.com/brands/motorhead/

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Everyone is talking about their girlfriends. I’m just here mad that Anne left me.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Liked? Nope, LOVED that movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I doubt it because I’m pretty sure that everyone is smart enough not to do the same thing again.

  • Jay Stein

    I watched it one, it was awesome, but NEVER again

  • Palpatine

    You sure about that? I’m mean the film comes out in three months, and we no virtually nothing about the plot.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well here’s what we do know that well keep people excited but not Phantom Menace level excited because that will never happen again:
    1. No George Lucas
    2. No space taxes plot
    3. Ignoring the Prequels
    4. Solid director and writer
    5. Keeping the plot hidden is good
    6. Balance between CG and practical effects
    7. No cartoon rabbit
    8. No little kids in lead roles.

  • instant relief

    I’d buy that for $24.99.

  • instant relief

    Same with rape.

  • Palpatine

    Thanks for that. Now someone make a comment about why I shouldn’t be excited for it.

  • instant relief

    I love it, as well. Even read the book.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s Star Wars.

  • Palpatine

    That’s what worries me.

  • Jay Stein

    Some of it is sure to be “meh”, but I don’t think it will “suck”. I’m pretty sure that it will be like the Trek movies he made, adequate but lacking slightly and in some case completely. I am not excited or anything close, interested at best..

  • instant relief
  • Jay Stein

    It could still “suck” though

  • tOmy`

    As they say in the cheerleader byz: Fuck it, yolo!

    *unzips pompom*

  • Palpatine

    I was excited until I really thought about it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Okay:
    1. JJ choose the script for Into Darkness
    2. “Part time”
    3. Carrie Fisher is no longer hot
    4. That weird red arm of C-3PO

  • Palpatine

    5. Dumb sounding character names.
    6. Merchandise.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re not Jaws.

  • Palpatine

    But still, the names are pretty weird sounding.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Not as bad as the prequels’. Nute Gunray.

  • Palpatine

    Then why is Jaws complaining about the names?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t know. Dexter Jetster.

  • Jay Stein

    Well, you know it’s going to be a good time at the Theater. My concern is that the story is always the same, Jedi vs Sith and some folks in-between. The story has entered “Space-Opera” zone…

  • Palpatine

    Gloomu Uptu.

  • Jay Stein

    Ohh, the red arm on 3peeOh sounds cool

  • Palpatine

    It always been a space opera.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Because the trilogy told a satisfying story, and instead of telling a completely different one, this apparently is insisting that the ending of Jedi, with all the celebration and inter-species excitement, wasn’t really the ending you thought and everything stayed dark and sad and now we have to re-visit some of the same old shit and then continue it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Padme Amidala

  • Jay Stein

    Yes that

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Stop talking about Star Wars for I have found this

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jUOsFtIlBM

  • Jay Stein

    yes but in a “Soap – Opera” way

  • tOmy`

    We need more of you. How do we reproduce Canadystans again? Do we… do we insert maple syrup into theirs sexboxes?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Sounds sticky!

  • tOmy`

    “Sex with maple syrup – putting icky back to sticky.”

  • Jay Stein

    Was that Colins audition tape to get on RLM?

  • tOmy`

    Why should we be afraid? The bar is so fucking low by now it’s next to your bones. I don’t think that JJ is even capable of fucking up on such massive scale till the sequel of the reboot.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    2 questions…

    1. You really think you can get them to stop talking about Star Wars?
    2. How did you find that? I guess I mean to ask, Why did you find that?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    It’s the internet. People just make stuff up.

  • Maybe. Or try thinking being a pessimist. It may save you a lot of disappointment, especially when an apprentice who is a whining bitch turns on you at the least favourable moment and throws you down a huge pit.

  • 4. Rust doing its thing? Wait… that’s a MGSV reference, isn’t it?

  • Like Icare

    Soo…

    “Lemmy get this straight” is not just an idiom but it’s right there on the box?
    That might be a hard thing to swallow for some… But… Why no Orgasmatron?
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasmatron_%28album%29

  • J.aws F. K.

    well he was in The Village so, I guess you could say he was one of the Village People

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Is that a reason “for excitement” or “against excitement”?

    To each their own, but, “Lightsabers? AGAIN?,” really seems a little more rational.

  • J.aws F. K.

    he wishes ;p

  • Like Icare

    Oh right! Your “girl-friend”.
    Next thing you’re gonna say is that she’s “from Canada”. Right…

  • J.aws F. K.

    2 words Captain Phasma (lol)

  • J.aws F. K.

    ”so, JJ Abrams, you come up with any new names for the new star wars movie yet?”
    ”’yeah as a matter of fact we did, get this right, Captain Phasma”
    ”bahaha, haha, no, seriously dude. lol, Captain Phasma! hahaha nice one bro”

  • Palpatine

    I’m jealous of your tits.

  • Palpatine

    I’m less concerned about the character’s names, and more concerned about the characters themselves.

  • Like Icare

    Seen this? If not, you should.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNTg2Uz7-pM

  • J.aws F. K.

    i get that a lot :p

  • J.aws F. K.

    well we cant talk about that without spoilers i guess. but true.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Disney has people that know how to make satisfying movies, might not be great movies all the time, but movies everyone is okay with. They made an investment of 4 billion, similar to the investments they made for Pixar and Marvel. They know what’s the formula to make things work.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Keeping the plot secret is good, except when it comes to JJ Abrams (and his former idol Chris Carter). Sometimes the “Mystery Box” is just an empty box and there’s nothing inside (Super 8, Lost, Cloverfield, STID, Alias, etc.)

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’s not how progeria works.

  • J.aws F. K.

    honestly, I’m secretly hoping it is a bad movie, but a funny bad movie, if it turns out to be a genre defining classic well I’m down for that too, but still, I could do with a good laugh, and Captain Phasma, baby, please, don’t let me down.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The Happening was an unintentional horror comedy, except it wasn’t funny or scary. It was just sad. Maybe it was a drama. I’m so confused.

  • J.aws F. K.

    dude, General Hux. I know most ppl have seen this already, but tell me, is is this not fucking funny. Where did this guy get that outfit lol. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/film/star-wars-the-force-awakens/new-pictures/

  • J.aws F. K.

    all joking aside, the force awakens is gonna be awesome. Like really. Everybody is gonna love it. all the kiddies will go nuts for it, and pretty soon, come halloween night, ya gonna have all these kids knockin on your door, sayin trick or treat mutha fucker, its Captain Phasma. hehe ok lol sorry no, probably not. whats REALLY gonna happen is that one kid who dressed up as Captain Phasma is gonna get the shit kicked out him by all the REAL fans who dressed as HAn Solo and Darth Vader.

  • Palpatine

    Bryce Dallas Howard was in The Village with Judy Greer where they played a pair of sisters. They also played sisters in Jurassic World. Coincidence, I think not!

  • Palpatine

    I’m dressing as Han for the premiere.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I expect it will be just like the updated Star Trek films he did. It’s amazing to me that the same guy was picked for both. By just like them I mean fun to watch but nobody talks about those films much a few years later.

  • RLMkeepitup

    probably the cheapest outfit to go for and get the most chick action

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’s sexist.

  • Palpatine

    How?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m dressing as Rich Evans for the premiere. No, I am not joking.

  • J.aws F. K.
  • RLMkeepitup

    start growing that beard now

  • Palpatine

    You got your Darth Vader mask, maroon thrift store hoodie, Star Wars t-shirt, and R5-D4 toy?

  • J.aws F. K.

    just keep an eye out for the creepy guy masturbating in front of the theater

  • RLMkeepitup

    its one thing to say you love star wars, its another to show the world

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I haven’t shaven in like three weeks. I’m getting there.

  • Palpatine

    Rich Evans is proof of that.

  • J.aws F. K.

    ah so youll be on the Late Show again, can’t wait.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I need the droid toy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So if I was 5’4 and grew a beard it makes me hot but since I’m 5’8 I am going on Colbert.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Isn’t captain Phasma female?

    In all seriousness… that comment wasn’t serious at all. That wasn’t sexist. What was sexist was Ishtar.

  • Palpatine

    Wait, really?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Hey, wait a second, I’m NOT supposed to know more about Star Wars than you. But, yeah.

  • J.aws F. K.

    yah, the bad guy is a bad girl, scary huh

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No the bad guy is Andy Serkis. Get you fadcts starght

  • J.aws F. K.

    don’t we all ;p

  • J.aws F.K? I can’t stop laughing. Now that is class!

    5/5
    A+

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Also sexist.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    No, the bad guy is Mark Hamill. No, the bad guy is Khan. No, the bad guy isn’t Khan. The bad guy is Mark Hamill. I am the legacy of your father, Luke. It rhymes.

  • Palpatine

    He hasn’t used Jaws Jaws Binks yet.

  • J.aws F. K.

    i was on the grassy knoll ;p

  • Palpatine

    Yes, as Snoke.

  • *drunk
    Let’s not tell fibs.

  • J.aws F. K.

    all i know is, if somebody introduced themselves as snoke, (lol) i’d be scared.

  • J.aws F. K.

    ”so mark hamil youre my dad but who is my mother?”
    ”you remember princess leia right?”
    ”noooo, it’s not true, thats impossible”
    ”well we are from Alabama , you know”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    What about Count Dooku? You think any of his subordinates ever called him “Dookie” behind his back?

  • J.aws F. K.

    yah even when he used to dress up as fu man chu, everybody would hail him as dookie.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nDq1HoNm-E

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Hey, that uniform is just like that of Rich Evans’ least favorite football team!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He had the power to get shot in the head

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Snoke, you fuck! You bought your army from the remains of Palpy’s Empire! You cheapskate! I know it because I SOLD IT TO YOU!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I ain’t creepy. I’m only creepy when I’m complaining that Anne isn’t my girlfriend anymore.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    not to mention the 50% saving in wardrobe costs.

  • instant relief

    Did you steal all the cocaines from Michael again?

  • instant relief

    Jaw(s) Jaw(s) Binks would be way funnier.

    EDIT: Palpy did it first! I fail! THANKS, Emporer!

  • instant relief

    OH FFFS! You beat me off to it!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    it is a cinematic masterpiece.

  • Earth

    That’s fair. I can see Han having a ton of uses for that mouth.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1233929440/greedo2.jpg

  • Earth

    If anything, Han was probably grateful. There’s only so much face clawing someone can take.

  • J.aws F. K.

    i’m gonna need a bigger nostril

  • instant relief

    You need a blowhole like a whale. Those mofos snort cocaine by the ton. Even Pablo Escobar can’t keep up with them.

  • J.aws F. K.
  • instant relief

    How did the jaws survive the holocaust?

  • Earth

    Sigh…I guess I need to watch it again.

  • J.aws F. K.

    Lassie just went home and we like just followed him, simple really

  • Earth

    Played it for the first time recently. I speak as someone who knows next to nothing about Final Fantasy. Had to adjust a little but honestly didn’t have much problems with it.

  • Palpatine

    You’re welcome.

  • Jay Stein

    This movie IS going to “suck”..

  • Earth

    Why are all the conversations here suddenly so topical to my life? I’ve been watching The Office (UK version) and Extras recently, and had a very awkward conversation today, where a friend described Gervais as that “smarmy little goblin” and I said, I actually quite like Ricky Gervais.

    Nice to hear he’s a nice man at least.

  • J.aws F. K.

    if only, …it will be adequate, but irritating if you care, like at all.

  • Jay Stein

    Yes I said something similar a while back, and I don’t care about this cash grab, but I will see it…Captain Phasma????…Oy Vey

  • J.aws F. K.

    vey

  • Jay Stein

    sooo gay

  • instant relief

    Lassie would even survive a nuclear blast. Such a bitch.

  • Jay Stein

    Well she’s a lesbian, so she has that going for her…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    But I really did watch Curb Your Enthusiasm!

  • instant relief

    Lesbians suck. Well they don’t, which means they do. I am confused.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Against.

  • RLMkeepitup

    oh gawd Jack is making Rich play that new metal gear game after they both spent an hour smack talkin how bad it is. #somuchpain

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I think so.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    She’s from … east of me.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s part of foreplay, yeah.

  • Palpatine

    Is Rich enjoying it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They’re going to eat they’re own words like a Star Wars fanboy munching down popcorn at a midnight screening of Episode VII

  • Palpatine

    They’re going to hate it and piss a lot of people off.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Paraphrasing RLMkeepitup: “probably the cheapest outfit to go for and get the most chick action.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I can’t really see how anyone can hate it.

  • Palpatine

    Unless you’re Rich and Jack.

  • Bubs

    I bet if Solid Snake was made of 16 bit pixels and had to rescue a princess it would be a perfect 10/10. But alas, any game with depth is destined to be ‘stupid’, as is the Hipster’s Code. “A lot of people like it? Then it must FUCKING SUCK!” *swishes scarf and drinks a PBR*

  • J.aws F. K.

    just ironic really that solid snake derives its name from somebody who was constipated

  • J.aws F. K.

    has anybody noticed that General Hux kinda, well REALLY looks like this guy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs

  • Galactic Shawn

    This is why people turn to Jesus

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • J.aws F. K.
  • tOmy`

    8 hours of cutscenes.

  • tOmy`

    I think MSG is pretty much the definition of hipster game even though it is massively popular. It is just one of those games.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    i’m not that bored.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of Star Wars: What do you guys think of P.O.D.? Does anyone even remember P.O.D.? Do you hate me more now?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Precipice of Destruction?
    Person’s Own Dimples?
    Probably Often Dumb?
    Planes Over Downtown?
    Pennies or Dimes?
    Penelope, Ophelia, Desiree?
    Planet of the Dinosaurs?
    Perspective Objectifying Device?
    Population of Denver?
    Personal Ovary Detector?
    Possibly One-a Deese?

  • tOmy`

    Hey now! Remix scene is neat! Don’t don§t about things you don’t.

  • tOmy`

    I am planning on sporting regular Star Wars T-shirt and necklace made of Star Wars LEGO minifigs.

  • Like Icare

    Forever Solo?

    Yeah… It’s lonely at the top.

  • Palpatine

    You really hate me, don’t you?

  • Palpatine