Pre Rec: Metal Gear Solid V

September 27, 20152,924 Comments

Jack & Rich discuss Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, a game that features Tactical Espionage and Unicorns.

Filed in: Previously Recorded

  • dollar store cashier wife

    HOORAY NEW CONTEN…oh it’s PreRec…

    http://imgur.com/pSpTgOr

  • Rich and Jack are working. Well, working hard playing games. And What is Jay doing? Dining on some… https://instagram.com/p/8I1wbfDgvg/.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    His instagram account makes his Vlogs look like Citizen Kane in comparasion. Can you be anymore “ironically hipster artsy” ?

  • I don’t Jay is actually a hipster. I think he is just a deeply disturbed individual.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Kept us waiting, huh?

  • TapewormBike

    SNAAAAAAAAAKE!

    Oh sorry, it was just my enormous penis. Anyway, what’s this visualgame about then?

  • Niccageshair

    I hear this game ends with a message from Konami that says “Since we are officially moving to mobile games we just want to say: Thank you for the money and Fuck You”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Here you go. This should explains things:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8iBBJE_MZ0

  • TapewormBike

    Every disc emits a gentle smell of feces as it turns in your console.

  • TapewormBike

    Tactical Espionage sounds fun, but I really wanna play something about Crazy Random Espionage.

  • Samuel Taylor

    Whelp i had hoped these episodes would get better not worse 🙁

  • TapewormBike

    Wait. You watch the video?

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Who needs more story and cutscenes and a resolution to that important character when we can have pachinko all day? .

  • Palpatine

    I’m just here for the comments.

  • “Little Russian Vodka Spy”. A Hitman’esc game where a spy has serious alcoholic problems, mishears information kills the wrong people. You are constantly drunk. You have to manage the drunkometer and the remorsemeter to balance the character. I would play that.

  • TapewormBike

    We all are, Palpy. Boy, we are assholes, aren’t we.

  • Solid Snake: Available now in the adult section.

  • TapewormBike

    I was thinking and it actually perfectly describes the board game Spyfall. Check that shit out, it’s funny.

  • You could nerd out on some Star Wars games so you don’t go off topic.

  • Niccageshair

    Time for a 400 post discussion of Battlefront

  • tOmy`

    “But Jack, isn’t that every game?”
    “It is every game.”

    Are we breaking new grounds of how completely wrong can you be?

  • TapewormBike

    We never had…as funny…

    I’m done.

  • On the Origin platform… EA.. death.

  • tOmy`

    “And you are the good guy.”

    OK, I am done for now, back to work.

  • TapewormBike

    Work it baby

  • Well, back to nineleven. After 20 hours of Dark Souls gameplay I am boored and not impressed. Should I play Bloodborne instead?

  • TapewormBike

    Oh yes. I am nongamy guy, but that looks fantastic. I am not impressed by Dark Souls from the outside, but the theme and visuals of Bloodborne are pretty damn alluring.

  • tOmy`

    Seeing the first 12 minutes of this review, I think now is as good time as any to yet again bring up Matthewmatosis and his reviews.

  • Niccageshair

    About the tone deafness/story craziness: it’s Japanese, shouldn’t that say it all?

  • tOmy`

    I think it also has Metal and Gear and Solid in the title.

  • Niccageshair

    They go hand in hand

  • TapewormBike

    I came for killing time on my night shift, stayed for the in depth analysis and again came due to the Irish accent.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    To whom? You don’t need to inform me about people who actually know what they are saying. However you should pass on that info to people who think PreRec has any critical value whatsoever.

  • Jaws

    are you not a fan of pre rec

  • dollar store cashier wife

    that’s been my motto for quite a while now.

  • Ok. I’ll give it a try when I have some spare time again. I think DS is a good game in many respects. I love the atmospere and the tight combat/leveling system. Bossfights are not so much fun. Dodge/block run around hit avoid repeat. The worls is friggin amazing and runnig around with a cool looking armour is a real blast. But the same thing over and over again. earn new lowlevel thugs to beat, explore new places and backtrack. And backtrack… aw Gawd. It’s a tedious task. It’s like going to work and honing a skill. The rewards of getting better I was promised are forgotten cus of all the repetiviness. Oh and the characters are just a drag. It’s all about stamina and control of the character.

    I will actually quit playing it for now. It’s the first game that I like I don’t want to play. I am really dissapointed.

  • TapewormBike

    Would anyone call out a Bollywood movie for being slightly unsure about the tone?

  • Niccageshair

    Also can someone who likes MGS tell me why because I don’t get it.

  • Jaws

    do anybody actually watch bollywood movies

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    When you watch an episode on fast forward it appears to be worse.

  • TapewormBike

    Like a billion of them

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    I think this and Ground Zeroes, while they still have a ton of goofy stuff, are going for a more cinematic, less video gamey kind of thing and it is jarring for first time MGS players. MGS has always been able to balance goof and seriousness beautifully, but I definitely see their point. I wouldn’t have it any other way though.

  • Niccageshair

    Bollywood movies are never unsure about anything.

  • TapewormBike

    Having played few of the previous titles, this one looks like the most coherent one.

  • Palpatine

    Sorry, but I’m not a fan of it.

  • TapewormBike

    On topic people, don’t lose the main topic: Where the hell is Domo?

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    but it still has to have the anime feel to remain an MGS title and anime and classic Hollywood don’t mix well.

  • TapewormBike

    Kojima always sourced his inspiration out of both. His earlier games like Blade Run..I mean Snatcher and Policenauts are the best examples.

  • Jaws

    because kyle reese is on the cover

  • ZTF

    BE WARNED! This video contains huge spoilers!

    Rich reveals Jack is actually straight.

  • TapewormBike

    His kids were onto him for some time now.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    can we play policenauts already? Otacan wouldn’t shut up about it. I bet it’s great. It’s gonna be great.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    does it matter? not being here when a new PreRec gets uploaded means she’s got a life.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s Lethal Weapon in space with a bit of misogyny thrown in. So, yes.

  • TapewormBike

    That is what depresses me.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Don’t be.

  • Anon_Amous

    I think if I wasn’t a huge Metal Gear fan previously I would be happier with this game.

    The story is just a mess and no, not in the way Metal Gear is usually a mess, trust me I know that kind of mess. That’s a fun mess. This is not a fun mess, it’s an unfinished mess that disappoints.

    The emergent gameplay is pretty cool, but Jack was 100% right with the repetitiveness as well. This started with Peace Walker and was even worse here.

    “Eliminate the Tank unit #10”
    “Eliminate the heavy armor unit #9”
    “Extract the prisoner #20”

    I think it Kojima had more time, it could have been much, much better.

    I’d rate the game a 7/10 personally, which isn’t bad. It’s just very far from 10/10 masterpiece like some people have been trying to argue.

  • Jaws

    i dont like video games to start with, i know that makes me unpopular, but hey i dont like indiana jones either hehe ;p

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Cheer up. Who needs a social life when you can stay at home and watch such amazing crap as this?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMDZsA2Kq2g

  • tOmy`
  • TapewormBike

    You are stretching the definition of loveable asshole to being just a stretched asshole

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    D-Horse is a lady horse! Check your facts! UNSUBSCRIBED.

  • Palpatine

    Are you sure you’re not a troll account used by Pa Kent?

  • TapewormBike

    I am pretty sure his name used to be Lionel Cuntsalot. Or something like that.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    And now they’re trying to push MG online and nobody cares. Everyone wants their Kingdom of Flies and Quiet DLC. Game shipped too early, but I think we could have foregone the Paz ret-con and had more cutscenes.

  • Like Icare

    Soo… Your experience was mared by their equine faux pas?

  • Jaws

    youd be wrong about that

  • tOmy`
  • Niccageshair

    The punishment has spread to the forums it seems.

  • Jaws

    haha you aint even serious

  • Jaws

    i know ;p

  • TapewormBike

    Not neigherly enough.

  • Like Icare

    Hold on… where does Future War fit in with the whole MGS thing?
    Them boxes weren’t there for no reason.

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, I’m just messing with you.

  • Jaws

    im way sexier than him ;p

  • Evertale

    And in that case, and in the spirit of Christmas, pudding and colourful crumpets, I bestow upon you a comment:

    Le.

  • Niccageshair

    This review may ruffle some of the mane people on this board

  • Earth

    I liked the Arkham Knight review. As someone with no interest in MGS…should I watch this?

  • Niccageshair

    Always worth a watch

  • Earth

    I’ll um, I’ll give it a shot I guess.

  • Now there’s some food for thought.

  • Palpatine

    Would Pre-Rec be better if they did a storyline thing like HitB?

  • Jaws

    no

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, we already have a show about a fat guy and a hipster who work in a repair shop.

  • Jaws

    yup 🙂

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Stop foaling around kids!

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    The boss fights in this game were rather unclear and underwhelming. Compared to MG Ray or Rex or Shagohad even.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Oh they’ll ride it out.

  • Jaws

    lol ;p

  • tOmy`

    Shamefully, while I assume that lot of gameplay (at least from the beginning of the game) and thought went into making this video, the only new thing brought to the table was Jack having the controversial stance.

    I talked about it last time: It would help to say “Maybe it is your thing, but for me, this game doesn’t do it” – what Rich actually said – rather than saying “I don’t recommend it at all,” after drawing a comparison to Mario.

  • Palpatine

    Does anyone plan on seeing Green Inferno, the latest “horror masterpiece” from “visionary filmmaker” Eli Roth?

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Sort of want to play this first ‘fore I watch. Little bit of Jack goes a LONG WAY, anyways.

  • Like Icare

    He’s at home, washing his tights? Oh wait… That’s Batman not Bauman.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    I might go see it next week. Waiting for the Pope right now!

  • tOmy`

    No worries, they don’t spoil shit. I am assuming it is because they didn’t progress that far; And if they did, well… I think they omitted a lot of information and opinions.

    #omitted

  • Earth

    I didn’t even realise that there were boss battles from the video.

  • Palpatine

    They didn’t finish the game and yet they’re reviewing it anyway?!

  • tOmy`

    The funny thing is that they repeated all I already knew without even looking up any info about the game.

    9gag pretty much covered every aspect of this review via .gifs and pictures.

    Oh, and MGS has a wacky story. Did you know that?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The ones that will go off topic in 3 2 1…

  • Like Icare

    Soo… If you bond with the dog… does it lick itself in front of you?
    I’m asking for a friend. H… Sheee… has a dog.

  • Palpatine

    If you see him, tell him about Rich Evans.

  • Like Icare

    Remember the time when it took months of gameplay to finally manage to beat the game?

  • tOmy`

    If they did, then this is either the most spoiler-free review ever (aside from first impressions series), or they just forgot to mention a lot of stuff.

    This was just a 30 minutes rehash of what we know – well, even the trailer shows more.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I really love the game. I disagree with Jack and Rich’s negatives but I understand their reasoning even though Jack can’t tell Quiet fell in love with Snake. So any how lets get back to those Star Wars crawls.

  • tOmy`

    I already made one few posts below! Where is my upvote, you hack?!

  • Niccageshair

    No they will dig in their spurs and bray for it to stop

  • WrongWithYourFace

    There’s something about Jack’s wording, “a sexually positive character”, that really irks me. I’m not sure what it is.

  • tOmy`

    Also, look at it from this perspective: There is a shitload of games that are impossible to review in depth without spending dozens of hours playing them.

    I am playing Morrowind for better part of my life and I am still not sure if I was able to make a very in-depth review about all the nooks and crannies – or at least an in-depth review I think this game deserves.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ripping off the classic Cannibal Holocaust is going to far for me. I don’t think Eli Roth all that much in terms of film making. I really liked him as the Bear Jew though.

  • tOmy`

    His face.

    It is usually his face.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s the bald head.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Not the first time nor will it be the last.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    I forget everything he says.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh shit Fallout 4 has a dog bonding system too. These jokes are going to be too easy to make.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • tOmy`

    “Oh God, that thing is gonna sacrifice itself at one point of the game, isn’t it?”

    – Total Biscuit on game companions

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sure but we talk about this when it’s not a Pre Rec video. Sorry, Nicky.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Especially compared to the second MGS. All the stories that focus on Big Boss make sense despite some goofy shit.

  • Palpatine

    That sounds like something a SJW would say.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Blame George Miller for that. In fact the dog in The Road Warrior was just killed but didn’t sacrifice himself. I guess you blame the Italian filmmakers who rip off Mad Max for that.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yeah. I think that might be it.

  • Palpatine

    Jack is probably the only PC member of RLM.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of SJWs: Without playing the game, I have to admit that the Quiet character bothers me a bit.

    It is… odd to say the least. I am not against it, but this time around, I understand the controversy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The hell you talking about? They all edit on Macs.

  • Palpatine

    Ba-dum-tsh!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Everyone online is calling The Green Inferno the comedy of the year.

  • tOmy`

    Lemme guess: Everyone except Eli Roth?

  • Niccageshair

    Ok that’s fine I’ve been too on topic anyway

  • Wizard Phoenix

    All he’s doing is retweeting positive comments about the movie from the dumb masses. At least he isn’t Max Landis.

  • tOmy`

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5jBGtNVrS4

    This might help you. He made one for every major MGS game (except the current one).

  • Palpatine

    It will never be Cannibal Holocaust.

  • Niccageshair

    Eli does seem genuine. He certainly has a type of movie though.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I never had much of a reaction to that film. The gore effects were great and I thought it was horrible they killed animals for the film but on a story telling level nothing got under my skin.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I agree with Jack and Rich that it’s the bullshit reasoning that’s the problem. Hell, I remember when Kojima released early renders of Quiet so that cosplayers could get all the details just right, even before the game comes out. You can’t get much more transparent than that, the dirty ol’ perv.

  • THAT GAME LIES. WHEN YOU CHOOSE QUIET’S OUTFIT HER “NAKED OUTFIT” ISN’T NAKED. UNSUBSCRIBED.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why the fuck is everyone complaining about this now? He’s done this shit for years and NO ONE CARED. But now people do and like people I don’t care and I just see him doing his normal pervy bullshit.

  • Niccageshair

    I’m sure there’s a PC mod to fix that problem.

  • tOmy`

    Agreed.

    By the way, I am planning on going full rant mode about this review later tonight, because this one pissed me off for very surprising reasons, but here is one thing I am gonna mention:

    Before they even dove into that SJW stuff, Jack made a massive point about her showering infront of you, while only after that they made reference to why she is “topless” and how does she drink. There were similar editing / not checking what they are actually saying problems within this video that made them look rather stupid this time around.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Speaking of great ideas. Having Quiet being a human plant was a great idea but was a terrible idea was Ishtar.

  • tOmy`

    I am no specialist when it comes to MSG, but I think this one took it really far.

    I assume it is because we finally have enough of pixels in our graphic-to-do-cards to have female protagonist do yoga infront of your crotch, so we can blame the “progress” tiny bit, but correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t think it was ever this much “in your face”.

  • tOmy`

    Or 9/11.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe it bothers you because you haven’t been near as many as beautiful naked bodies as me.

  • Palpatine
  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean the last ten minutes of Movie 43.

  • tOmy`

    Here you go, @WizPhoe

    http://www.starwordz.com/starwordz/starwordz.php?intro=In+a+comment+section+far%2C+far…+in+many+places&episode=Wizard+Phoenix&title=On+female+tropes+in+videogames&crawl=%22Maybe+it+bothers+them+because+they+haven%27t+been+near+as+many+as+beautiful+naked+bodies+as+me.%22&crawl2=&crawl3=

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well people like you haven’t slept with Yvonne Strahovski.

  • Now, all jokes aside. Wow, I know MGS was full of fanservice… but that bloodsoaked “poledance” made me want to puke.

  • tOmy`

    It is there to show the horrors of war that never changes.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    From what I’ve seen of MGS (mostly 4), the sexy/pervy stuff just sort of used to be there, and wasn’t made a big deal out of. Like Sniper Wolf and her five sisters, or whatever, when defeated, turned out to be sexy, slimy anime girls. But the fact that they were sexy and slimy wasn’t the center of attention, unlike Quiet being sexy and wet in a shower scene. They just happened to be sexy while doing things of some other purpose than being sexy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Here is why Pre Rec sucks
    http://www.starwordz.com/starwordz/starwordz.php?intro=A+long+time+ago+not+in+Potato+Land&episode=Why+Pre+Rec+Sucks&title=Reason+%234563&crawl=Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+&crawl2=Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27&crawl3=Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.+Viggo+Mortensen%27s+mustache+in+GI+Jane.

  • instant relief

    Whatever floats your boat.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Viggo Mortensen’s mustache in GI Jane.

  • Niccageshair

    This was the original crawl of Star Wars before DePalma rewrote it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It predicted the future.

  • Niccageshair

    Hey now you leave Ron Pearlman out of this.

  • instant relief

    Hey baby, you got girlfriend Vietnam?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fallout 3 sucks. There I said it.

  • All “Pre” and no “rec” makes Joaq a dull boy. All “Pre” and no “rec” makes Joaq a dull boy. All “Pre” and no “rec” makes Joaq a dull boy. All “Pre” and no “rec” makes Joaq a dull boy. All “Pre” and no “rec” makes Joaq a dull boy. All “Pre” and no “rec” makes Joaq a dull boy. All “Pre” and no “rec” makes Joaq a dull boy. All “Pre” and no “rec” makes Joaq a dull boy.

  • Thank you.

  • Niccageshair

    New Vegas was better

  • Not by much, it still was based on that shitty engine.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You see I can be like Rich and Jack!

  • instant relief

    How about a little Pre-Erec, would that spice things up for him?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Well, that’s basically all of garming jarnalizm in a nutshell.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Having Jack Bauer play Big Boss is a great idea, but was a terrible idea was GI Jane.

  • TapewormBike

    Quiet in here now.

  • I’m about to burst.

  • TapewormBike

    My face is right here

  • You look just like your mother. Especially from behind.

  • TapewormBike

    Thanks, dad!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *Cum

    #omitted

  • instant relief

    Mind if I masturbate to this?

  • TapewormBike

    More like © Omitted

  • TapewormBike

    Yes, but that makes it hotter

  • instant relief

    *gnnngggggrrrr* CAME!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    © for ©um.

  • Like Icare

    Sounds like a bondogle waiting to happen.

  • TapewormBike

    Right, time to defend the pervs. Because that’s who Quiet is in there for. Look, there is zero complicated about it, it’s a male fantasy squished together from the innocent victim and strong warrior princess archetypes. It’s porn on so many levels, the presentation is just the logical end of it.

  • TapewormBike

    UGHHHHH!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s the reasoning and all the “you’ll be sorry when you find out why” -talk. Quiet may breath and drink through her skin, but we all know Hideo Kojima is talking through his ass.

  • TapewormBike

    Now, let’s talk about the price….

  • That’s one apt anal-gy.

  • tOmy`

    Yeah, I agree with that, but we could try to get over these aspects and finally stop being complete apologists for almost everything.

    And by “these aspects”, I am not SJWing about female tropes, damsels in distress, bewbs or hitting women with baseball bats in real life or in GTA. I am talking about over-sexualization that made a lot of guys uncomfortable.

  • TapewormBike

    What does Hideo Kojima have to do with this Konami game?

  • Like Icare
  • MUSIC TIME:
    Speaking of quiet – Caspian just put out a record Dust and Disquiet and it’s been enjoyable, so far. Much better and interesting than their previous album. Despite being quite as tame it succeeds at staying interesting and does not fade into the background like the previous one. The melodies are as sweet and hopeful as ever as Caspian have always had a penchant for catchy tunes accompanied by heavy but fitting drumming. Overall, I give it 4 pizza rolls out of 5.

    https://caspiantheband.bandcamp.com/album/dust-and-disquiet

  • TapewormBike

    OK, the backstory is bullshit for her, agreed, but how is this case different from Bayonetta in the oversexualization part?

    Besides the tone, the themes and the lack of the victimization aspect.

    Man, I rock at argumentation.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Take a good, long look cosplayers! …and other kinds of… players.

  • tOmy`

    I am gonna be honest. I am the kinda cheerleader who pays prostitutes in GTA to regain health and then beat the money out of them after the sex.
    I understand that games are for better or worse aimed at male population and we deserve a fucking boob here or there.

    But that chopper scene made me feel like: “Ugh! I wouldn’t tap that. The fuck? Is she that desperate? What is wrong with you, woman?! Next time I bringing the dog with me.”

  • tOmy`

    That scene really plays out like a porn. Oh, look at that poor, helpless character, she wants your dick so much…

    Fuck it. Let her flirt, let her wink, let her do any other trope in the book, but she is just begging for it. And I am not sure I totally agree with that. It is waaaaaay to simplified and sexualized for it to be even engaging.

    Fair note: I did not play the game.

  • instant relief

    That GIF is forcing me to masturbate again!

  • They could have made something interesting with that – she’s fascinated by this older guy, who’s her boss and they both know they shouldn’t get involved… But what it is now… looks like full on porn.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Remember to tell us when you’ve cum.

  • TapewormBike

    It is it

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • TapewormBike

    I guess I was more comfortable with the incestous overtone of MGS 2.

  • Remember that Snake is the master of CQC – Cum Quiet Cum.

  • tOmy`

    I never played Witcher, but I did see a lot of sex in that game and it was, frankly, handled tastefuly.

    When it comes to MGS, a game that previously made characters connect and show “emotions” via fucking radio, this is waaaay to obvious and cheap.

    Put in a flirting dialogue based mini game. (Oh, right, she is mute, a perfect woman, amirite guys?) Put in a minigame where you can try to run your hand over her thigh or something and see how much can you cuddle her… something creative for God’s sake.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’d rather be in Quiet now.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He also had the power to get shot in the head.

  • Like Icare

    You do realize that means that cloning her would be a solution for global warming AND air pollution?

    Speaking of 12-year-old-boy-like perverts…
    Masamune Shirow’s human plant is also elfish and has wings. And is called Greenpeace Chloris.
    http://myanimeshelf.com//upload/dynamic/2011-12/12/New-Green-Peace1.jpg

  • TapewormBike

    Not unless she farts oygen. Stop there, I am on that slashfiction right now.

  • Amontillado

    Art imitates life and life imitates art, this review mirrors the complex nature of the game. Or, as Rich would say, the review was complex but bored.

  • Amontillado

    He could use a hand.

  • Well, the first one wasn’t all that tasteful. I mean the sex was portrayed ok, and it.. actually felt reasonable for any farm girl to be into a white haired hunk who’s seen the world, can’t get her pregnant OR give her STDs. The sex cards, however, undermined it all. Sure, an argument could be made that they were a callback to old Rojo illustrations but then again, The Witcher, afaik, was never illustrated by mr Rojo.

  • Like Icare

    Once again… internet is WAY ahead… Or you know… way that other thing…

    http://i.imgur.com/EEnFNYt.jpg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Kaz gave an arm and a leg.

  • TapewormBike

    To be completely fair, Sapkowski does like his shagging in the books.

  • Quiet girls come and go but diamond dogs are forever.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And you ruined it.

  • Well, fuck you too.

  • instant relief

    I just gave myself a pretty pearl necklace.

  • TapewormBike

    Let me be in the middle!

  • TapewormBike

    Man, you got some force AND aim!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Like how Quiet wants to go down on Snake?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, this is what Kojima was going for when he released those Quiet renders. It’s not even a secret, he said it himself.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Let’s go off topic because we’re tearing each other apart. Who here has play The Witcher games and thinks the nudity level is too damn high?

  • I think it was fine at least in 1 and 2. I haven’t played 3. I didn’t like the sexy cards in 1, though.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This may sound dumb but I think Witcher 3 has too much nudity. So much Jack will hate it.

  • HHNNNG..

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And volume!

  • TapewormBike

    I know what you mean, but, man, imagine if it made an electric guitar sound every time you came.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    In the middle? Does it involve the dog?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Shirow is a weirdo.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of subtle innuendos, here are some actual lyrics from the new Peaches album:

    Is it too much to ask? / Dick in the air / Let me see your / Put your / Put your dick in the air / Dick / Dick / Dick

    (Review pending, but needless to say, I am loving it.)

  • Like Icare

    She takes carbon out of the air to sustain herself. As in CO2.
    So… she probably breaths out pure oxygen.

    Which could lead to some tricky situations involving gunfire in closed spaces.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well let’s go off topic.

  • Like Icare

    He likesh shpidersh…

  • TapewormBike

    Right, so, if everyone is angry at boobs in the game and everyone loves Game of Thrones, what equals X?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Didn’t she do the music for Baby’s Day Out?

  • Like Icare

    Is that from “Ode To Birthday Boy”?

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Tapey, you’re making too sense. Please stop.

  • Jack will hate it because it has talking and cutscenes.

  • tOmy`

    I am still calling the “it didn’t make me feel uncomfortable” card.

    Sorry, bruva

  • TapewormBike

    Sigh. Bufallo blue hedgehog meow.

  • tOmy`

    No, it is surprisingly called Dick in the Air.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Sonic’s arms are not blue”
    -Chris Chan

  • Amontillado
  • tOmy`

    Man, I loved the visuals of the new one so much. It looked so normal yet so unique.

    I think I am gonna give it a spin sooner or later.

  • Glyph Wright

    It’s not just the nudity. It’s the fact that every major female character is a bombastic super-model with giants boobs who just can’t wait to get nude and frolic around with grandpa Geralt. They each get an alternate outfit DLC that makes their outfit even more unrealistically striperrific. For no reason, other than shitty pervert developers making softcore digital porn for their shitty pervert manchild audience. Oh, and in case someone thinks “sorceresses magically make themselves more beautiful coz magic”, well in Witcher 2 there was a male sorcerer, and he looked like Emperor Palpatine crossbred with Skeletor. I guess only female sorcerers care about their appearance.

    What makes this even worse is how completely out of place these fanservice wank-off dolls look in Witcher’s dark and gritty medieval shithole universe. Whenever one of them is on-screen, it literally feels like I accidentally switched to a porn channel. Which is a weird thing to feel while playing a video game.

    Oh, and then there’s the total absence of even the slightest opposite gender fanservice, or any half-way decent-looking male characters whatsoever (unless you’re into gray-haired grandpas). Anyone playing this game who isn’t a heterosexual male is kindly asked to fuck themselves.

    /rant

  • Amontillado

    Had to awkward breaking the news to Jay like that, after all those nights together at the Manhole. Gonna be super weird when Jay and Jack are in the same room now.

  • tOmy`

    I am not sure, but seeing the size of Baby Bink, the new track Vaginoplasty could make an appearance in the sequel.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Realistic boobs. Don’t play
    -Jack Packard, 2015

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They don’t call it the D-Dog for nothing, you know.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Kojima should have made HBO fund and publish his game. That would make people think the nudity(and violence regardless of how it’s used)is mature and artistic.

    #shots fired

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • tOmy`

    Man, Witcher games look really nice, but Mario ran to the right.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Plus boobs. Don’t play
    -Jack Packard, 2015

  • tOmy`

    AAA

    “Controversial, but necessary.”

  • Amontillado

    Bless your sweet heart you angel!

  • instant relief

    Excellent!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You really want to hammer down the boobs, don’t you?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh come on, I love Game of Thrones but for me it seems like some times they just have sex and nudity for the purpose of sex and nudity.

  • TapewormBike

    Having a cool midget only gets you so far.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Boobs don’t work for characters I like
    -Jack Packard, 2015

  • Amontillado

    ….porn?

  • tOmy`

    It’s not TV, it’s for the purpose of sex and nudity.

  • TapewormBike

    Now solve for the D.

  • Amontillado

    But did he give a rib?

  • TapewormBike

    I really thought I was the resident SJW, why are you making me do this, Hideo?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    yes that’s the point I was trying to make.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Amontillado

    That’s a messy sandwich. Anyone in the mood for sloppy joes?

  • I’ll want sloppy seconds.

  • TapewormBike

    I am certainly tired of Slim Jims

  • tOmy`

    I think Hideo purchased all the pitchfork making companies.

    It was a great business plan.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’ve only seen the parts with the boobs, so I wouldn’t know.

    What?

  • Domo

    While driving home after a long family reunion weekend, the husband sees that a new RLM video has popped up.

    “Oh! A new RLM video!”
    “We should probably wait to get home to watch it.”
    “Oh. It’s just Pre-Rec.”

    “Well, do you want to just listen to it, then? We don’t really need to watch it.”

    Sums up Pre-Rec in a nutshell.

  • That is true.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    and also because isn’t super hard/takes itself seriously/isn’t in pixel 8 or 16 bit style graphics/doesn’t have chiptune music/isn’t a platformer…yada yada yada the list is frikkin endless.

    #open minded reviews? never heard of em

  • TapewormBike

    Yes. This.

  • Amontillado

    huh, looks like shrinkage happens in space and not just the pool. And only to clothes.

  • tOmy`

    Guys! Guys! An actual female is here now! Drop that topless!

    I mean topic!

  • Amontillado

    But but, do you know how shiny Jack’s pate is, do you really understand its sheen?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why have you forsaken me?

    https://youtu.be/bOFv11pEQ9M?t=2m19s

  • TapewormBike

    Fuck no!

  • Amontillado

    Hehehe, already did 🙂

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean cardboard cut husband?

  • Earth

    i think the problem with Pre-Rec is that Rich and Jack really aren’t fans of gaming. They enjoy playing games sure, but they just don’t seem to have any enthusiasm for staples of gaming culture.

    I liked the Arkham Knight review, but I felt like that was more because they were comic book fans than fans of the Arkham series, so they had things to talk about when talking about the Joker etc.

    I actually didn’t mind this review but I know next to nothing about MGS. If anyone is a fan watching this, I can’t see them getting much out of it.

  • Amontillado
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thank Martin Sheen for that.

  • Amontillado

    Gentlemen there is absolutely no fighting in the war room!

  • tOmy`

    Yea, with a Mass like that, she is basically begging to get reaped.

    DISCLAIMER: This awful jokes has been brought to you by my knowledge of Mass Effect, limited to the information that there is a faction called Reapers.

  • TapewormBike

    You really have to spoil the party with this reasonable shit, don’t you?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ah come on Waking Season was great. Fire Made Flesh alone justifies it’s existence. Anyways it’s cool that they’re trying new things though I’m not yet sure how to feel about lyrics suddenly creeping in midway through the album.

  • Any MGS fan would buy that game anyway.

  • Earth

    Wait….I thought you were a sexy female cheerleader?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    WHY NOT?!

  • Amontillado

    You could say, it’s a mass of effect. Get it? Get it, mass of effect?

    THANK YOU I’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!

  • TapewormBike

    Thankfully, the comments redeem the video.

    Nope!

  • TapewormBike

    I have pics to prove it

  • tOmy`

    We don’t necessarily categorize ourselves as “actual females”. We are just bewbs-hangers with a playtoy button that makes our sexholes available.

  • Amontillado

    Ok assholes, here you go, here’s your meat and clean your screen off later: http://giphy.com/search/boobs/3

  • Earth

    There was a party? Oh goid I’m sorry I didn’t realise. I was taking so much time thinking considerately about what I should say that the comments started backing up on my page.

  • Amontillado

    That’s what she said!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Amontillado

    Or two heads? Double the pleasure, triple the fun!

  • Earth

    My God, you’re really a Mickey Mouse android?

  • tOmy`

    Oh my god, I have been made! Quickly, time to crate a rouse!

    *pours some beer on her tits*

    Now, that was my C-plan, let’s see what are we gonna do with your D-plan up my A-plan.

  • Amontillado

    HBO = Home Beat Off

    This Commentariot has officially degraded me into a 12 year old this afternoon. Thanks Obama.

  • tOmy`

    “Do you have HBO: GO?”
    “No, I have HBO: Come.”

    Ba-dum-ts

  • I remember the shock when I heard vocals in Gifts from Enola. Then they released their last album with all songs having vocals and broke up. Uh, where was I going with this?

    Walking Season didn’t captivate me as much as Tertia or their first EP did. In fact I barely remember WS because it faded into the background so much – I could barely tell the songs apart.
    If there’s one problem with this album it’s the odd pacing – we get an acoustic track out of nowhere, it sort of ends and some other thing begins. Oh, what do you think about the more pronounced electronica on this one?

  • instant relief

    I wish there was a Rich Evans sex tape.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jack wouldn’t like it.

  • More like Mass Erect, amirite guise?

  • Amontillado
  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think it was called “The Sex Weirdo” or something like that.

  • They couldn’t use raccoons for obvious reasons.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Oh man Tertia is just the best stuff they’ve put out as far as I’m concerned. That shit is raw. Anyways electronica sounds fitted this album like a glove.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    DISCLAIMER: No one has ever made any of these jokes in the past eight years,

  • Ah, a classic – two twins hump while the third one watches. http://img.4plebs.org/boards/tv/image/1387/32/1387329956515.gif

  • It was my original joke. I made it up. With my head.

  • Earth

    I feel like this would be more sexy if I didn’t keep picturing a robotic Mickey Mouse with t&a.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    c-a-n-c-e-r

  • Fred Kasanova

    Watch either MatthewMattosis or SuperBunnyHop’s review of the original Metal Gear Solid

  • Earth

    Quick! Bitch about Fallout 3 as much as we can before Bubs gets here!

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Two twins hump while the third one watches – but which one is the weirdoest??”

    I think that was the actual tagline.

  • The irony is, I played it today. And quite enjoyed myself until I had to talk to someone and hear 3-dawg. Granted, I had lots and lots of mods installed to fuck the pain away.

  • Jack mentioning Quiet’s lack of clothes and saying Kojima is a 12 years old just instantly ruined the video for me, as they said they just jumped into TPP without playing the other MGS games, playful sexualization (That actually has sense in the plot) has always been a topic, but 90% of the times is about male sexualization.

  • TapewormBike

    Gaming is a serious business. I have never heard such horryfing stuff come out of my gf’s mouth before she started playing that dot thing.

  • Earth

    I was looking up mods the other day to see if anyone had completely restructured the story to make it playable and I couldn’t find anything.

  • Amontillado

    Looks like we…have to investigate an alien body

  • Amontillado

    You know these are only going to get worse, you know this right?

  • There’s one that lets you start with a different background and make up your story as you go. I started my game as a runaway slave. The reason I’m looking for daddy is because sold me off to slavers when I was young so that he could finish his precious Project Purity. Makes the whole dynamic 10 times better. I wish it could somehow be written into the actual dialogue.

  • instant relief

    I… CANT… STAHP… COOOMIIINGG!!

  • Amontillado
  • Amontillado

    Let’s give ya a hand!

  • TapewormBike

    You’ve exceeded your daily limit of Tapetitude. You can buy extra TapeGems so you can enjoy him some more for absolutely free.

  • Earth

    My problem with it is that Project Purity and the way the Enclave are handled make no goddamn sense.

    So they built a water purifier on the mouth of a river? Wait, don’t rivers clear radiation out anyway? Why did Dad kill himself? What is the Enclave goal? To take over the Purifier and bring order to the wasteland? That actually sounds pretty fair.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Fuck that pussy ass shit. Take my credit card instead.

  • Amontillado

    You tell ’em grandma!

  • TapewormBike

    Hookerific!

    Thank you for your life savings, asscustomer!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Where is your’s puppies?!

  • That’s Todd Howard for you (not sure if he wrote the actual story but I like to blame everything on him).
    I guess, they want to retake the land? I may be confusing things with but don’t they want to use Project Purity to kill everyone like they did in FO2?

  • TapewormBike

    Wifey payed, so I am not going into sleepytown yet. Plus, the closest thing to Quiet in my place is on her mobile, swearing up a storm.

  • Domo

    Can I get a sexually positive Tapeworm now?

    I’m not even sure what that means.

  • TapewormBike

    All Tapeworms are Polyasexualmorphic

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Meanwhile, Hideo Kojima was fuuuurriously masturbating. http://www.destructoid.com/hideo-kojima-asked-for-it-and-he-has-received-265344.phtml

  • TapewormBike

    I had a hard time (sigh) telling apart the fake lady. Graphics.

  • Her boobs are too realistic. UNSUBSCRIBED.

    Here’s something for the str8girls/gayboys that work hard and play harder. https://a.disquscdn.com/get?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.themis-media.com%2Fmedia%2Fglobal%2Fimages%2Flibrary%2Fderiv%2F593%2F593987.png&key=Hb39bgzG88f0DFRS9MfCiw&w=600&h=493

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Just wait until VR becomes a thing.

  • TapewormBike

    You mean I could jerk off AND have a headache?!

  • THIS ALL PLUS VOMIT AT THE SAME TIME!

    Call now.

  • Domo

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

    The unsubscribing, I mean. Not the realistic boobs.

    Or maybe both, the unsubscribing and the realistic vs. non-realistic boobs. Like a powerpoint presentation, perhaps? If it’s not too much trouble?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ehh.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    THE PEAK OF TECHNOLOGY EVOLUTION

    YEEHAW!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    WHAT A VALUE!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • WrongWithYourFace
  • TapewormBike

    Weren’t you into Australians the other day?

  • TapewormBike

    Guest vote? Someone was ashamed to push your rape humour up. What a fridge.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I didn’t say I was sexually attracted to her.

  • tOmy`

    I am sure you gonna bounce back from it.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Thanks Rich and Jack. I will never play MGS V.

  • tOmy`

    No, no, you got it all wrong.

    “I will never watch Pre-Rec” is the key lesson here.

  • Domo

    I don’t know a lot about games or gameplay discussions, but isn’t talking about the problems with Quiet kind of what Hideo and friends would want? Like it’s easy enough to just go “I don’t like the sexualization of Quiet’s character. I just won’t play it,” right?

    Rich and Jack just keep dropping cargo boxes on a horse, but then want a sexually positive female character with some sort of depth? I don’t understand that logic.

  • TapewormBike

    Goddamn. Point. You gotta have it, don’t you.

  • tOmy`

    There is none. I think this is the first Pre-Rec video that honestly pissed me off with their lack of effort to even review the game or talk about the game.

    It’s just… nonsence. And they contradict themselves sometimes. Just… lazy.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    He made Quiet more erotic to encourage Cos-play. What a douche

  • TapewormBike

    I guess you didn’t. Well played.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    that’s like every PreRec dude. even when they finally made an episode when they were on point(The Order 1886)it took them 30 minutes to repeat the same points actually competent reviewers made in 4-5 minutes.

  • Domo

    Just a different viewpoint, is all. It’s not like making her a non-sexual character is gonna make someone like Rich and Jack play the game. It’s like with Jurassic World; making BDH run around with sneakers instead of heels isn’t going to fix the issues with that film. It certainly isn’t going to make it a better film.

    Talking about her sexualization takes away from the real problems with the game, which to me, prevents the gaming industry from ever really being improved. Just a viewpoint from a gaming outsider.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s hilarious how he’s like “I bet y’all won’t dare dress as this sexy character! *wink wink* *nudge nudge*” And every hot cosplayer goes: “oh, yeah?? We’ll see about that!”

    And all Kojima had to do was lay back and watch the jeyk off material flow in:
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BoI9t5oIgAAmAfQ.png
    https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3914/14847791585_1f286fa1f5_b.jpg

  • TapewormBike

    I agree, it’s a low hanging fruit for a discussion. But the fact that it makes some people seriously uncomfortable is worth debating in my eyes. I think it’s to a point a reaction to a more general oversexualization of stories that try to be “adult” across the media. It’s like we’re all in the same communal room with our parents when a sex scene starts.

  • TapewormBike

    Lovin’ it

  • Like Icare

    Ah!
    It’s psychologicky and fallaciousssnesseness.

    GOT is a TV show rated for Mature Audience and it features male and female nudity.
    Which gives an illusion of “equality of nudity” AND it is supposedly meant to be presented to an adult audience.

    MGS on the other hand is a gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaameeeeee.
    Aimed at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen and booooooooooooooyssss.

    Which means that first of all – it is aimed at children. It’s a game. It’s for children.
    Try it with other children-oriented media.
    Hentai vs. porn. Which one is more “perverted”?
    Same with sex represented in a comic book format and in the form of photos of actual humans fucking.

    The medium is still considered as something aimed at children.
    That “Mature 17+” sticker means diddly squat – it’s a combination of a toy and cartoon for kiddies in the cultural subconsciousness.
    Ergo, MGS is showing porn to children, while GOT is showing porn to adults.

    The other, fallacious argument, makes GOT seemingly less exploitative because both men and women are shown naked AND it is implied that both men and women watch the show – while on the other hand it is implied that boobs in a game are there solely for the entertainment of males.

    Fallacy lies in the fact that just because there are also dicks on the screen, it does not make the pussies on the screen any less exploitative nor any less aimed solely as entertainment for males.
    But it seems so due to the argumentum ad temperantiam. Compromise-YAY!

    Add to that framing that “this is fan-service for men, featuring a representation of a woman – ergo it is exploitation of women” (both an association fallacy and a hidden false dichotomy ) and OHMAHGHAAAAAD that CGI model is far worse than exploitation of real people on GOT.
    Or all that carnage in the game.

    Which is rated the same or higher than GOT as far as the rating goes.
    While the exploitation is limited to a FANTASY representation of a human body – instead of images of bodies of real humans.

    The best part is that exploitation is not demeaning to models or actors – in any case.
    It’s demeaning to the AUDIENCE.

    Just like a crappy ninja movie gets sold to the ninja-movie-watching audience, crappy show or game will be sold to the boobs-watching audience – despite being CRAP.

    So both GOT and MGS… hey… people playing/watching that knew what they were getting into.

    That’s what those ratings and stickers are for.
    Burden of feeling of demeaning is on the audience – not the actors/creators.
    Don’t like it… Don’t play/watch it.

    Or we’re back at “my morality beats your morality cause I got me this stick here and…”

  • Domo

    I can see that. I think trying to justify why she’s wearing no clothes with breathable skin is rather silly on the developers’ part. That little bit seemed to be more of an issue than the tonal issues of ‘serious wartime feel mixed with fire-breathing whales that eat helicopters,” and I don’t understand why one would incite a “12 year old boy” comment, when both are indicative of a 12 year old boy mindset.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I like pre-rec

  • tOmy`

    Rant #3: Quality check and quality standard of reviews

    Sorry to be a bit pissy and maybe too serious, but I feel like I need to express a certain frustration here. The tl;dr version pretty much reads like: Don’t review games that are out of your league. And if this is not a review, then there shouldn’t be a recommendation. The longer version explains why do I think this and here it comes:

    Even when I know that RLM site is not your average review site, I still think that you should, as entertainers / reviewers, hold some kind of a standard and quality control. This 30 minutes long video lacks both of it. And I would be okay with that, because I love watching you two talk crap. But this time I felt there is no reason for existence of this video. Write a script next time or maybe try to edit this better. Examples:

    So what is the story and the setting? Who is the main protagonist? What is going on? How is the gunplay? How are the cutscenes? What are the options? What are the possibilities? You pretty much covered the Quiet controversy and boxes dropping on horses. Or at least be funny.

    But what I found the most lazy about this clickbait (and I am gonna call it that) is the way it felt like you were lying sometimes. So you played the first MGS game, Jack, and yet you try to explain what are all these games about? You claim the hero is the bad guy, then a good guy, then a bad guy – you didn’t even check what you said, did you? This all amounts to lazy writing, lazy execution and quite honestly a first video on RLM that made me feel like a content-for-the-sake-of-content.

    I am not trying to bitch or straight up argue with what you done, I just felt like that maybe if you ever come here and read this, you might rethink your approach and take an advice on how to create engaging, funny and informative reviews.

    Oh, and stick to Shovel Knight / FTL – those reviews were great. Don’t go out of your league. This was clearly an example of reaching too far.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s so dumb it kind of makes the whole issue too silly to seriously ponder from the outset.

  • TapewormBike
  • Domo

    Correct.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    As a straight male who can date women, (yes I can still attract females)
    I can truly say that the character “Quiet” gave me the creeps. It’s just wrong on so many levels. I like strong female characters (like Lara Croft). Not vapid whack-off material. I’m totally with Jack on this one.

  • Domo
  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I think they did fine with the ridiculous game that they were reviewing. I also think they were trying to minimize spoilers.
    I’m glad I watched this review because it just saved me time and money

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • TapewormBike

    But that’s more indicative of the problems with tone of the game. It all breaks down because it wants to be respectably serious and then boom, booby sorta mute girl. Noone would have said a thing if this was in the cray cray MGS2

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I agree and disagree. I think pre-rec needs some work, but I like the way the show is laid out and I’m a Rich Evans fan, Jack is growing on me

  • dollar store cashier wife

    This is not clickbait. This is clickbait:

    http://imgur.com/qhfXtoJ

    And it clearly works too(this is probably the only time a PreRec got a good view count). Without a pre-established RLM fanbase that watched this show out of sheer obligation it would be buried in internet obscurity. And deservedly so. It’s got absolutely nothing to offer when there are so many content creators who take their actual time,creativity and passion to put out something actually insightful or at least funny when it comes to video games. This is two old men smugly talking to each other in a complete cultural vacuum mistaking their hyperboles,biases,closed mindness and willful ignorance as valuable critical discourse.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well, the issue with Quiet is sort of my major beef with what I know about MGS V. The tonal issues didn’t upset me because I was saved from buying this game and being real pissed off because you cant return Xbox One games once you have purchased them

  • TapewormBike

    He’s tough, but fair for a slutty cheerleader.

  • TapewormBike

    Fair enough, that’s the reasonable way to go about it – if somehing seems too dumb to buy, don’t buy it.

  • tOmy`

    Jack basically didn’t recommend the game because he doesn’t even get it and his main concern was yet again a comparison to fucking Mario. He played the first MGS, I wonder… what could have been a better comparison to MGS V than Mario…

    I know, Pacman.

    I also think that in this time and age a reviewer shouldn’t say “That’s every game” which is clearly bullshit. If a person thinks that Mario is more “diverse” than a game series that rewrote history about 2 times by now and is known for being the most unique shit out there, than I think he is full of crap.

    And minimizing spoilers my ass – even the trailer spoils more than this. I honestly wanted to hear their take on the “language” theme of the game, but hey, maybe it really is so vague this time around that there is nothing to talk about. But seeing as they glossed over the “moral ambiguity” theme or used the Psycho Mantis “cutscene” without even mentioning why did they use it in the first place paints a picture about how much they know about the franchise and how much they care. Or, you know, that whole Metal Gear thing… or any of this.

  • bloodstock pussyclarts

    im trying to imagine someone whose on the fence about playing mgs v and needs jack and rich to tell him whether or not to play it.

    im no expert but this is like the millionth game in the franchise rite? so theres already a sizeable population that is already sold on or turned off by the whole concept of any mgs game. meanwhile the internet is saturated in mgs memes. ive never played the game and i know you can punch child soldiers with a rocket fist, tape record a guard struggling to poop, airdrop supply drops on boss’s heads to ko them instantly, etc.

    who would be like hmm i think ill check red letter media dot com to see if i should play this game

  • While the majority of their viewers is probably the RLM fanbase I was surprised to learn that some people on Twitch don’t know what HitB or BotW is.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    This whole thing just makes me think of White Fire: A director, who comes up with the most transparent of reasons in order to put their fantasy on screen.

  • TapewormBike

    The influence of a critic is no shield for a criticism of said critic. Especially if they are this critical.

    Crictickets.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    in twitch you can search streams by what game is being streamed.often enough some people just want to look up live gameplay of a game they’re interested in and that’s how you end up in a random stream.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I am being too harsh for my own usual taste, but fucking hell, this really felt like middlefinger.

    And I am born RLM apologist.

  • TapewormBike

    Pretty much, but the infuriating part is all the rest that seems cool around it. Not in White Fire.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I shall analyze your mouse and camera movement patterns. Soon I will know all about you.

    Also: Gasp!

  • tOmy`

    FTL.

    And I would personally watch Rich play FTL for hours.

  • bloodstock pussyclarts

    in case i messed up in my process of putting concepts into words that was actually basically agreeing w you. i was calling into question the idea that them reviewing this game was a relevant and useful thing to do

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “Jack is growing on me”

    Get chemo Jay. I’m not letting you go!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I guess the question is, do you (tOmy) like MGS V? If you do that’s awesome. I’m sure the game can be fun. I got the first part of MGS V for free with games for Xbox live, and I uninstalled it after about 2hours. I just didn’t like it. I had considered purchasing it briefly, but now I won’t buy it, not even when it’s in the bargain bin. The game just seems too immature

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Maybe Kojima knew he was gonna be sacked, so he figured he’d say fuck it and come with his ultimate fantasy woman and lure everyone to dress up as her.

  • tOmy`

    Nah, nah, I know.

    That is mostly why I said they shouldn’t review games out of their league. Their explanation of ShovelKnight and FTL made me get my hands on both of them. But seeing this clusterfuck, I don’t even know what to begin to think about the game.

    But I can see them as “influential” for me when it comes to small, indie projects… you know, just like their work is a small, indie project. They understand that much better and, thankfully, are able to put it into words.

  • TapewormBike

    Wouldn’t that make you wanna high-five him, though?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “reviewing this game was a relevant and useful thing to do”

    never was the goal of the show guy lol.

  • bloodstock pussyclarts

    jack has trolled me once again

  • TapewormBike
  • tOmy`

    Oh, no, I like MGS series as a thing of an interest for me. I read about it, I saw dozens of critiques, walkthroughs, speedruns of basically every main MGS game there.

    Have I ever played one? Fuck no. I do like everything about those games but playing them. And still I can talk about them more than they did in this review. You see, I am not angry about Jack not recommending a game that is most likely gonna be the game of the year. I am pissed about the review itself, the approach and the… nothingness.

  • TapewormBike

    They are fun, btw.

  • That’s no child soldier.

  • Just don’t look at the cum food stains.

  • tOmy`

    Never had a playstation, never cared much for this type of games outside of nerding informations about them.

    I know, I know, it is very silly of me praising a game that I never played. But I spent a lot of time with these games and concepts and I am comfortable with saying: “I know what you are going for, it is wacky as shit, but… I can see it work, and sometimes I can see it work very well.”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    people think that any criticism of a PreRec has to do with a fact that they shatted upon someone’s favorite game therefore insert “don’t don’t about things you don’t like lion brain” meme and instantly discredit a person’s POV. It’s kinda scary how RLM developed such a cultish fan shield. I shudder to think of the day when people start pretending The Animated Plinkett cartoons are on par with what Pixar puts out.

  • TapewormBike

    It might be because I was a teenager obsessed with movies and I liked to sit and watch for half the time during a game.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • TapewormBike

    Have you seen Cars 2?

  • TapewormBike

    Pure cool

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It changed my life. I now use opiates instead of weed or alcohol to numb the pain of human existence.

  • That’s me!

    *Actually, it’s not. I swear, I look way hotter.

  • tOmy`

    Hey, I love defending them when the platform or the setting or approach is done right, if you know what I mean.

    For me, they are Mike, Jay, Rich and Jack first, hack frauds second and reviewers third. But that is because their approach works and their execution is flawless for me.

    And no worries, the moment they get their hands on Deus Ex (and that is bound to happen), my shield will go down with my willingness to straight up uninstall windows and format my life.

  • That movie made me realize that I sexually identify as a car.

  • TapewormBike

    To answer seriously – there is no other course, really. Being a fan of a critic does make you a super hypocrite when someone turns a critical eye on them.

  • TapewormBike

    Vrooom?

  • Vrooom, indeed. Now put it in my exhaust pipe.
    [stole this from someone earlier] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLfzyqONlF0

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Possibly. But it would still be a dick move on his part. If you know what I mean.

  • tOmy`

    I liked Tokoy Drift more.

    The CGI characters were much better.

    *whisper into ear*

    W-what? Are you fucking kidding me?

  • TapewormBike

    All I know is, it’s a bad storytelling if such a small aspect of the overall picture is drawing this much attention. And boobs, especially boobs.

  • Oh, you mean, you didn’t know they were “actors”?

  • tOmy`

    It is getting way too serious here, let me soothe you with more of the Peaches lyrics:

    “I was blessed / With big big big lips / When I dip / They dip dip dip lips / Catch the whiff coming off my midriff / Wake up bitch / And lick lick lick this”

    “Wanna join in too? / Got room for you in my Loosy Liu”

  • tOmy`

    Dude, I didn’t even know they were people.

  • TapewormBike

    She’s quite sexually positive.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Do it now
    You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
    So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
    Do it again now
    You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
    So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
    Gettin’ horny now

  • tOmy`

    This is also positively becomming one of my most favorite albums of this year.

    In a very sexual way.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s just like in movies: who cares or even notices that the gun switched hands between edits if the story is engaging? But if it sucks, well, then that shit starts to stick out like a perky nipplesore thumb.

  • Palpatine

    All child soldiers I know of are little African kids.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, the sexy, sexy African kid soldiers.

    I can’t wait when they stop being a jailbait and become full on death squad.

    (Hehe, this was so dark on so many levels that I don’t even…)

  • TapewormBike

    Imma have to give it a listen. Walking the dog might become interesting.

  • As dark and edgy as MGS:Revengence.

  • tOmy`

    “Hey, guys, we heard you like stealth!”

    …………………./´¯/)
    ………………..,/¯../
    ………………./…./
    …………./´¯/’…’/´¯¯`·¸
    ………./’/…/…./……./¨¯
    ……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)
    ……………………..’…../
    ……….”…………. _.·´
    ……………………..(
    …………………………

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I hate that song and even more so the music video.

  • tOmy`

    “Ain’t my job / To fuck you on your birthday / Aaaanymooore” still takes the cake for me.

    Oh, and Something Diabolical, which is pretty fucking solid rap song all things considered.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • tOmy`

    It is very good. For example, the Dick in the Air song I pasted lyrics from before is actually about women’s position in society when it comes to the typical “get low” and “shake your booty”.

    She is actually fucking great feminist.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    RULES OF NATURE!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s like a high school jock trying to write poetry.

  • Can music get more shitty than Linkin Park? Sure it can.

  • TapewormBike

    Oh and there is that theory that Quiet is actually the boy from Ground Zeroes. Good job, Internet.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    This reminds me of something, in a good way. But I’m not gonna tell you what it is.

  • tOmy`

    SHOTS FIRED?!

  • tOmy`

    “Can it get more shitty than Linkin Park? Sure it can.”

    SHOTS FIRED!

  • Hey, Heidegger was kind of a jock at school and look at what he wrote? You know what? You’re right.

  • TapewormBike

    Craaaaaaawliiiiiing!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Given how fast the comments on Pre-Rec vids descend into madness i think we could destroy all civilisation if we broadcast it worldwide on every media at the same time.

  • tOmy`

    Good morning, Andy. Here, take a sip out of the SJW cup in a shape of a booty and let’s talk Peaches’ big big big lips.

    Also, something something Pre-Rec.

  • TapewormBike

    I thought madness was the preferred state in Australia

  • tOmy`

    Nah, that was “alive”.

    And boy oh boy, do they have a problem with that one.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’m less than 2 minutes in and Jack says he doesn’t care much about this series and the story got too wacky at part 2, but for some reason he’s playing part 5 and his first clip was him goofing around in a box. They didn’t even mention part 3 during the lead in, which many consider the best game. I’m gonna need a beer for this one.

  • TapewormBike

    What, did the spiders finally unionize?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats the motto on our Licence Plates.

  • tOmy`

    I tried and it made me angry. This is possibly the first time when alcohol didn’t do its job.

  • TapewormBike

    Yup

  • Make that 3. And some ludes. Yeah, that’s period historically accurate.

  • TapewormBike

    *lubes

  • tOmy`

    Period? Really?

    Sigh, okay, let’s go back to the discussion about women’s right and why should we finally give them the right to vote or take the chains off.

  • stryker1121

    Ah I was waiting for this review. I’m assuming the YouTube comments are a regular Algonquin roundtable of well-measured discussion regarding Jack and Rich’s thoughts on the game.

  • Ubik

    Do SOMA. Creepy as hell but narratively great.

  • TapewormBike

    Youtube comments? Look down.

  • Palpatine

    If any shit goes down, you know who to blame.

  • TapewormBike

    Jews. On it.

  • stryker1121

    I figured the RLM regulars would keep the ship from sinking. Have not skimmed all the comments yet.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Nukekake.

  • TapewormBike

    Ohboyohboyohboy

  • stryker1121

    OK, scrolling down there are some heated words, but nobody’s been called a hipster faggot SJW who should die in a fire. So that’s a bonus!

  • Lt Hurwitz

    12 year old Jack, loves naked women.

    Married Jack, “put some clothes on dem titties!”

  • TapewormBike

    How do you know how my mom called me when I was little?

  • TapewormBike

    “I will not stand for this!”

    Jack’s penis.

  • Palpatine
  • WrongWithYourFace

    Are SJW your initials?

  • TapewormBike

    The jokes (by me) are getting lame and my own strong female protagonist is already snoring, so nighty night.

    If I went too far anywhere:

    http://www.theloop.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/dog3.gif

    I sowieeeeee!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Liar

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You give me those boobs, Kojima
    I will not!

  • If Snake Pliskenn and Solid Snake get into a knife fight. Who would win?

  • And we have a winner! Reminds me of a Gungin!

  • MonkeyKing1969

    Thank you guys for just calling it like it is without the hand wringing. An excellent analysis of the game by adults…sadly too rare.

  • Looks like that ‘future Jay’ from HitB whatever the number was.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Based on all the science fiction shit in Metal Gear Snake would win but Snake also has a ton of science fiction shit too.

  • Hey, you said you wouldn’t tell anybody after that night we spent together.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    In the Battleship Half in The Bag Mike looks like the grandpa from that show Ben 10. This is connected to this Pre Rec episode.

  • I don’t think mr Solid would last in an dystopian neon 1980’s futuristic L.A. My bet is on Pliskenn.

    https://youtu.be/5mQGqzUs2l8?t=1m16s

  • Wizard Phoenix

    ………………………………….what?

  • Palpatine

    How?

  • Paul S.

    Wonderful review. As a fan of stealth games I never played the Metal Gear games because of the crazy fantasy elements Jack mentioned.
    I gotta admit the open world & nice graphics are attractive but I’d probably only buy this for half or more off on steam.
    Furthermore its refreshing that the “Quiet” issue was handled so well. Finally someone framed a discussion about women in games in terms *other* than Pervy Libertines vs Angry Feminists.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, we did. We are just being honest.

    That is the worst kind of comments.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Same clothes.

  • tOmy`

    Did… did they reupload a different video?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m not sure you watched the same video we did.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Snake’s pretty good but Snake is so badass.

  • Whatever Konami and mr Kojima spews out it will never be as good as HitB ep.73. What writing exellence! Such suspence!

    http://31.media.tumblr.com/478da187cfe97a15921f9436acb67999/tumblr_na7moqGPgn1qhaccmo1_400.gif

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Kojima doesn’t do time travel, idiot. GET YOURE FADCTS SGHT!

  • Well Snake is a combination of Kyle Reese and ‘the other Snake’. Oh, I meant Kyre Leese cus’ of racism.

    #alljapanesepeopleareretardsandinferiortowhitepeople

  • Oh that’s right. I did see Gensys now a few days ago. Maybe I got the timelines wrong. Anyway, what a shitty movie! I was rooting for chief Obrien to blow it all up but no, those pesky teens and their grampa got in the way. Piece of crap.

  • RLMkeepitup

    At least this game looks playable, but now that Konami has gone south its likely another franchise that will fade to the dismay of fans. Maybe they will have success with the new my quiet yoga girlfriend oculus rift series. crab battle!

  • tOmy`

    Seeing all the reviews, I am pretty sure this franchise just won’t die. For better or worse, there simply isn’t any other franchise like this.

  • stryker1121

    A guy on Twitter with a bust of Alexander the Great as his avi said the feminist agenda is destroying video games. Confirm or deny?

  • Mark Bisone

    This series is so old now, they should call it “Metal Gear Solid Foods: Mission Impossible.”

    On another note, this dickweed finally got back to me, today. Entitled celebrity fucks!

    https://plus.google.com/103105118099646908520/posts/RyfJp6Mt5zG

  • Palpatine

    Just like Star Wars.

  • tOmy`

    Well, MGS never actually failed tragically. But there are comparisons you could draw, so I shall allow it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jorge on Red Tails. Underrated quote.

  • tOmy`

    This is getting the same traction as the “games cause violence” clusterfuck and just as in that case, that traction is hardly justifiable and has been already solved. Even by actual feminists.

    Games should generally try to keep in mind that there are people with sexbox that play the game, but even when they don’t, it doesn’t say anything shocking about males, humanity and civilization.

    I am pretty sure we do much more awful shit to each other than staring at pixelated bewbs.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, but Mario.

  • tOmy`

    We never had a black character like this before so… I cloned about 10 of them.

    Can I say “wazzap” to my homies now?

  • Like Icare

    Yeah… Very popular sport that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Like in White Fire

  • Mark Bisone

    Does Super Mario ever get his balls cut off by a bandsaw? He wouldn’t be so super after that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He does want to fuck his brother.

  • tOmy`

    “I am sorry, Mario, but your balls are in a different jar.”

    #2references@1 #SomeoneRocks

  • RLMkeepitup

    well if this one had a flaming demon riding a unicorn eaten by a whale it can’t be for the better. the characters looked pretty flat, except the quiet one

  • Like Icare

    Frog of war.

    No… wait… Wrong frog.
    Frog of Thunder. That’s it.

  • Mark Bisone

    Maybe that’s why he runs funny.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I hope you weren’t referencing The Jar.

  • Mark Bisone

    Maybe that’s why he runs funny, too.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mario’s massive boner is slowing him down.

  • tOmy`

    I think that flaming demon riding unicorn is still pretty much within the ballpark of this franchise.

    I didn’t check the explanation / story behind it, you know, it would be great if they actually talked about it, but Mario.

    Anyways, it is far from surprising. They already had Psycho Mantis, field of white flowers turning red, ghosts scene, Medusa-like boss and Rich knows what else.

  • Mark Bisone

    He wants to show that princess his mushroom kingdom.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I dunno what’s odder, the nature of your comment or the fact that he responded that many months later.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mario isn’t the only one who gets big in the game

  • tOmy`

    I suddenly have the urge to talk about Peaches again.

    #KillingIt

  • Mark Bisone

    Documentary work goes at a much slower pace, I guess.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s gonna fuck that the pain away with another Peach.

  • tOmy`

    Ironically enough, Mario finishes by jumping on a pole.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Falling on to my cock”

  • Mark Bisone

    Maybe it’s really a giant bandsaw, and the game was the inspiration for the movie.

  • Amontillado

    Mark – I was with you most of the way, but when we got back to dick jokes, we were back at square one just like earlier. The horror, the horror…

  • Amontillado

    BTW, excuse my noobishness, but it seems that your comment is part of a larger campaign I had no knowledge of until this moment, and even sadder, that I had only read about this very moment and had missed out on much fun and laughter beforehand 🙁

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Mark Bisone

    The fuck?

  • Mark Bisone

    I’ll tell you a secret, stranger. There is no Square Two.

    Now ponder that wisdom, and then go write Matrix 4.

  • Amontillado

    I was puzzled by your comment about the dickweed finally getting back to you and Fred Levine Productions. I assume that a video made by Fred Levine Productions had shown up on the Wheel of the Worst, like the dog sitter video, and was curious if this was an ongoing prank or something.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    If MGS V gets game of the year I will seriously consider quitting gaming

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I think al lot 0f us have ben gaming for 20-30+ years. If Jack needs to reach back to Mario to make a point that so be it

  • Amontillado

    Motherfucker, and I just got done with foursquare

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I get the feeling no game will satisfy either of them and they should either shut up and kiss already or break-up and host their own shows separately.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I think it’s dead for now, something might happen in five years. So it’s MGS V for you for quite some time

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    in MGS V is partially based on Snake Plisken

  • Yezzir!

    “Don’t play games” – Rich

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Some people here, on Reddit, and over at YouTube say they can’t review the 5th game in a series if they haven’t played the previous games. I really don’t get that. I guess the storyline in the MGS series is important, but that’s not enough reason. Seeing as how this series has been going strong for nearly 20 years… does that mean someone aged 17 can’t review the game, because it’s unlikely he played the first games?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well that’s not true, Gene and Roger had their agreements but mostly not, so I’d imagine that there will be more agreements, like Rocket League

  • Amontillado

    Snake would drag long and slow on his cig while he would stare at the J Pop fantasy star, wondering what glittery unicorn took a dump and pop out the tinkerbell looking interpretation of his lantern jaw, eye patch wearing scraggly self. After assessing that the dickless wonder could be dangerous, about as dangerous as a chihuahua to a doberman, he would take a last parting look and drag before moving on to an uncertain tomorrow. But if the Twilight vampirish assless excuse for a special forces badass looked him sidewise, Snake would pump his lily ass full of lead before saying, “Sayonara, kemosabe.”

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    What a bunch of retarded BS, the notion that you can’t review a game if you haven’t played the whole series. I could never go back to those old 3d graphics just to justify a review

  • Amontillado

    How do you know they haven’t kissed?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I feel like they’re burning out on games the way Mike & Jay are with new movies.

  • stryker1121

    It would take a goddamn year to play all the games. People just can’t take criticism of their favorite toys.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    They definitely are, but that’s their MO

  • Amontillado

    Don’t be sorry, not after a puppy wuppy wike dat! Who’s a cutey putey? who’s a cutey putey?!?! YES YOU ARE!

  • Amontillado

    Algonquin? Dude, you came to the wrong internet spewing that terminology round here. We answer to titties, dicks, and farts; and you have neither so you can GIT OUT!

  • Amontillado

    Palpy, you get no respect, but know I will blame you even though I am but one.

  • tOmy`

    The storyline is batshit insane enough to make hardcore fans argue.

    But one has to have a mindset for the game (best learnt throughout the previous installments) – that is not being surprised that the game can also be a bit silly. Because saying “this game is wacky / insane” is hardly a “critique”, that is just the MO the game is known for and a style that most of the fans are used to, like and are prepared for.

    I think that is the biggest complaint – and somewhat justifiable.

  • Amontillado

    That’s why God invented liquor and pills

  • tOmy`

    Yes. But… hardly in this case.

    Mario is classic, Mario is praised for the first level. It is not praised for the “variety unparalleled to modern games”. That is just fanboy nonsense.

    When I reach back to Half Life 1, I usually reach for it to make a point about level design in FPS games. I don’t reach for it when I am trying to make a point about a story in RPG.

    Do you see where I am going with this?

    You can compare games, sure, but you also need to have some perspective as to what are you comparing with. That comparison was straight up ridiculous.

    That’s like saying: Yea, but Q3A has a faster movement and bouncing, so it technically beats all Mario levels, because he doesn’t bounce and quite frankly, he has a small problem with going to more than 2 directions.

  • Mark Bisone

    Yeah, but at least Siskel & Ebert were actually banging each other. These two have us trapped in “Will they / Won’t they” land.

    (Hey, that gives me an idea for a music video.)

  • stryker1121

    RLM is never going to offer standard reviews that cover every aspect of gameplay and story. Maybe the guys reviewed this in a vacuum without having deep knowledge of the series’ history, but that’s perfectly fine. It’s broad strokes and Jack and Rich having a laugh, which is what I come to RLM for. If I want a full-bore review that talks about graphics, gameplay, story, FOV sliders and stuff like that, I’ll visit a dedicated enthusiast site.

  • tOmy`

    Meaning a complaint made about some of the critiques, not complaint about the game.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I like the word Algonquin

  • tOmy`

    You see, I could agree with this and to some degree, I do.

    But they are reviewing and recommending a game. And they outright start by telling that this is basically a review for players that are jumping in just now.

    If I was jumping in just now, that review would not tell me anything important and would not explain even the basic mechanics.

  • tOmy`

    There have been much worse games that got the overhype / overrate status to the max.

    Remember Bioshock Infinite?

  • tOmy`

    Agreed, but as I said above, some preparation is in order when it comes to games like this.

    I know I am basically just reposting the same shit I said before, but hey, it is 3am, I am still working any anything that gives me a reason to sip more beer and have a cigie break is worth considering.

  • stryker1121

    Well, since they do say they’re not experts on the series right away, anyone looking for an in-depth review would probably go elsewhere at that point.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Who cares? It’s just a game being played by people who ironically don’t care.

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely.

    But again: They didn’t even touch the story. The theme. The Metal Gear. Anything basically.

    And I can (I guess) tell you why: If you look at the stream video when Jack plays it, you can find many comments laughing at him for not paying attention to the cutscenes and / or mission briefings (because Mario, I assume) and then he acts confused and blames the game for not being transparent enough. So he most likely doesn’t have anything else to say than “flaming demon on an unicorn” anyway.

    I am simply stating my problem with the way the review was done, techniques used and comparisons drawn.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    One Critique I have for Rich and Jack is that they failed to mention that the central story takes 2 HOURS to complete. 2 hours? Wow I get pissed when games are only 12 hours…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Increasing their alcohol intake for this show to the levels they get to on BotW (which I think is they’re ‘drunkest’ show) might help loosen them up a bit and make the show seem a little less tense or forced. They could work in an side-kick that only they can see and hear, add a segment where they review games after playing them on roofies, and discuss the ins and outs of the US Social Security benefits system. That’s a game show I’d watch!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s Ground Zeroes, you numb skull! Come here! *pokes eyes*

  • Amontillado

    Since Peaches came up earlier in the commentary, an oldie but goodie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuWOJmQ_kQE

  • tOmy`

    I think this is the first time we actually talk about the game on Pre-Rec this much. It’s pretty fucking disappointing people.

  • Amontillado

    You can *BWAAARP* GIT OUT!

  • Amontillado

    Yeah, well, your face is disappoint. Take that!

  • tOmy`

    Touché.

  • Amontillado

    I like your thinking Cream, keeping it coming (heheheh)!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes so it is, damn chopped up partial episodic games…..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well I’m an idiot so hey LET’S TALK!!!

  • Amontillado

    Not on the first date.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh a wise guy, eh?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    There is a sad absence of the holy brew on Pre-Rec which is my ONE TRUE criticism of the show since my last one fell flat on it’s beery face

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Let me find out what it means and I’ll reply to you, hold on…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’m pressing X for your beer.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Oh it’s a Native American tribe, wait I knew that….

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Beer X

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well the game looks great, I’m sure the tactical gameplay is great too. A true next-gen game in a purely technical sense. I’ts all a matter of opinion on the actual content and how it’s presented.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    *Stomps shoe, ruffles tie*

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Is that a reverse Tea-bag?

  • Amontillado

    No, D-bag, I only do French.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    To my hopes that Rich and Jack would love this game like me

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2WH8mHJnhM

  • tOmy`

    Totally. That is why I am waiting a bit for a proper in-depth anal-isys.

    I really wanna know just the basics (so if someone already has them here, bring it on)
    1) How is the “language” theme handled? Or is it any good and relevant in the game?
    2) What is the newest take on Metal Gear?
    3) Can you eat the horseshit? And by that I mean the actual poo, not the story.
    4) Did the war change? And if it did, why it didn’t?
    5) Is Quiet the fire-element Pokemon?
    6) Does Aperture has to do anything with the story in MSG V and if it doesn’t, does it mean the cake wasn’t a lie?
    7) Do I want to know the answer to the first two questions only?
    8) Porcupines.

  • Amontillado
  • tOmy`

    I think everyone in this comment section called it. What were the chances of them both liking this game?

  • tOmy`

    This conversation primarily taught me that it is very hard for me to type MGS instead of MSG.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well this to my hopes that they’ll like Witcher 3 and Fallout 4

    https://youtu.be/X2WH8mHJnhM?t=3m14s

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The two stooges

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The HURRY UP QUI GON guy is back

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBEx05UR7yg

  • Palpatine

    He’s what the Devil sounds like.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I avoid MSG at all costs

  • RLMkeepitup

    you mean gamestation 2.0?

  • “I felt a disturbance in the Force, as if millions of Jedi simultaneously are spinning in their graves.” -Ben Kenobi

  • RLMkeepitup

    they can but they begin this vid with their previous experience with the franchise. their discussions get artformy and comparative where knowledge of previous games would be handy. not to sound negative because Rich always keeps the vids on track.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Devil is my hairdo

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    You should just play it tOmy

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I wish they could somehow combine the two, but I think it wasn’t completely their (RLM’s) intellectual property

  • RLMkeepitup

    hopefully this hasn’t replaced Alfred farting already

  • RLMkeepitup

    because yoda fell asleep at the first youngling bladbuild training sessions

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We still have room for that.
    #Omitted

  • tOmy`

    I don’t have time for it as of now, nor do I own PS.

    I am going to invest some solid hours into Sunless Sea and This War of Min, plus I still have the never ending quest of finishing Rollercoaster Tycoon again on my schedule and I wanna get back to playing UT4.

    Oh, and I installed Morrowind again because I apparently don’t give a flying fuck about the real life anymore. There are some new shaders and HD graphics I wanna try in that game, plus like 30 classes I never played for.

    *sobs*

  • tOmy`

    It was a very long weekend, but I finally finished my work. I started around Friday 8AM. It took several beers, few packs of cigarettes, but I would like to appreciate the buzz and the cancer this comment section gave me – it was quite a moral support and uplifting thing to look at.

    As my thank you, I will get to that Peaches review I was promising, because I can already see, how many fucks you don’t give.

    EDIT: And I know I was a bit of a sourpuss due to the amount of shit on my plate, so I promise that for few days now, it’s gonna be all just upskirt photos, instagram emojis and occasional blowjobs.

  • tOmy`

    Yea… that’s going to be one hard wakeup call for you…

  • Booger

    So Half in the Bag is great because it has two movie guys who are knowledgeable and passionate about movies talk about movies. Pre Rec blows because it has two movie guys who are neither knowledgeable or passionate about games talk about games. It has never been more apparent than this review. 30 min and nothing new or interesting was said.

  • tOmy`

    THANK. YOU.

    Also: Fuck off! I wrote about 3 nonsensical paragraphs about this review while you managed to put it all into 3 coherent sentences. Who do you think you are?!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    No, no, no…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I see two shows: “Dick Moves” (hosted by Rich) which reviews first person shooters, comic book games, and provides commentary on why things aren’t as good as they used to be, and, “Jac Man” (hosted by Jack), which focuses on side scrollers, all things cutesy-wootsey, and tortures game designers who offend him with vodou (for instance, he could have ended this review by stabbing a doll in the image of Hideo Kojima in the balls with a pin).

  • Amontillado

    We, the Commentariot, do acknowledge our love for you tOmy and that you mustn’t apologize for being an awesome possum. Except for playing dead, that shit ain’t funny and it’s getting old, stop playing dead.

    Now what time is it tOmy? Do you know what time it is? MOTHERFUCKING PUPPY TIME! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqZ9f89Xgcg

  • Amontillado

    <3 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    What brings you to the conclusion that Rich and Jack aren’t passionate about games? I bet it took a while to get all of the RLM crew to greenlight a game review show. The fact that Pre-Rec exists at all is a testament to their passion for gaming. Just because you don’t agree with what Rich and Jack are saying does not diminish their passion for gaming or mean that they are not passionate lifetime gamers.
    Sure the show could use some polish but really RLM has proved that they can evolve an idea successfully.
    Go to IGN or Gamestop if you want bought and paid for reviews that are designed to SELL games (crap sometimes).
    The reason I like RLM is they are not paid shills, they say what they want…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Half in The Bag has booze. Best of The Worst has booze. Pre Rec does not have booze.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Again I reiterate, that is THE GREATEST flaw in Pre-Rec

  • Cream-A-Thon

    And lording over them all, Mr. Plinkett has booze, pills, and a Cadillac.

  • Booger

    The only thing worth saying in response to this comment is I actually agree with a couple of their points. Just calls it like I sees it. They definitely aren’t knowledgeable

  • RLMkeepitup

    Mike/Jay have a lot of editing experience too, some things can be saved or lost with editing they say

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I would have lost this episode.
    Try the veal!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    There are plenty of times during HIB that I’m yelling factoids at my computer, because the hack-frauds don’t know what the fuck they are talking about sometimes. That’s all they are, THAT’S ALL THEY DO!!!!!……….

  • Booger

    Missing a factoid is different from misunderstanding.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I didn’t notice them misunderstanding. Forgive them for not knowing the fabled lambskin scroll that is the MGS universal key of understanding…! The game is juvenile and looks like a ridiculous piece of next-gen shit.

  • Booger

    This is how I know you’re more into movies. MGS is not that deep or complex yet it still eludes you and Pre Rec.

  • RLMkeepitup

    he’s still up on that mountain and winters coming.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I’m actually into movies and games equally, but I do 3D sculpting and animation, so I’m REALLY into animation and gaming.
    I have a LAN and a 360 and One, sadly I couldn’t afford a PS4 yet.
    I usually play all of the games I can on all of the platforms so I can to see the differences. I love games. I also happen to agree with Rich and Jack this time, but not always.
    I enjoy Rich and jacks opinions on games even though I may not agree with them.
    Like when someone said that games aren’t art. I just can’t get with that…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    He’s a survivor though – that Titanic iceberg was no match for even a young Harry S. Plinkett. Personally I’m hoping he meets a yeti up there.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    He’s an extra in Everest

  • Domo

    Fast and Furious 7 looks like ridiculous shit, too, but Mike/Jay can explain to me, in detail, why they like that film vs. a film like Jack and Jill. They can explain to me in 25 minutes, without having even watched the entire film, why Transformers: Annie Hall is terrible, while including a scripted scene of them rolling around in Plinkett’s shit afterwards

    Jack and Rich are incredibly inconsistent on explaining why a video game is bad or good to them. And it’s frustrating watching a 30 minute video on a RLM site where I walk away and don’t have a greater understanding of the medium that they claim to be passionate about. That’s a problem to me.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    HIB needs a Yeti

  • Cream-A-Thon

    #yetilivesmatter

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I understand them just fine. Jack didn’t like it much. Rich liked it more. That’s Pre-Rec. I think the show should be 45 mins with definite sections covering the different aspects of games. So I agree that the show needs work. But I always come away with a definite understanding of what they are saying.

  • Booger

    Woah, do you lift too? What am I saying, you own two Xboxs, of course you do.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well I take really good care of my gadgets. My first console was PONG. I was 7 and I’ve been a gamer ever since. I missed the4th and 5th generation because I was chasing girls and painting canvases (and partying!), so yeah I missed those eras, but the universe led me back to gaming thanks to Half Life…

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Also, I’m taking donations for a PS4 so…

  • RLMkeepitup
  • Domo

    Wait, what? Jack didn’t like it, Rich liked it more, that’s Pre-Rec. Okay, but why would you want that level of understanding in a 30 minute video? If I’m gonna watch a 30 minute video of something, I want a better understanding of so much more than just that. Sorry.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I remember that! It reminds me of the Chinchilla I saw at the pet store. Did you know that you can’t get them wet! They’re like real life Gremlins, also they live for like 10 years..
    http://www.animalsbase.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Beautiful-Chinchilla.jpg

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Because it was entertaining and it saved me $70.00

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s very simple:

    Suffering leads to Hate. Hate leads to Anger. Anger leads to Croissan’wich. Croissan’wich leads to fecal urgency.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yummy!

  • Mark Bisone

    Was it entertaining? I like both of these bozos. but there are very few of these I find entertaining in some general way, like I do Best of the Bag.

    (Maybe there were some endings that were a little funny.)

  • Did anyone else watch the bloodmoon?

  • Palpatine

    Hank the Yeti would make a great addition to the show!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    no

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    It reminds me of women’s periods too much

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I’m entertained by Rick and Jack, that’s my opinion. Pre -Rec is still in it’s fledgling state and probably set back by Jessi not producing anymore. They’ll either drop it or improve it.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Oh, I’m sorry was that too “micro-aggressive”?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is that a Len Kabisinski film?

  • Palpatine

    Couldn’t, damn cloud cover. I’m surprised that it didn’t bring about the end of the world.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Damned Mormons…

  • Jaws

    woe to you o’ earth and sea, for the devil sends the beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short, let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast, for it is a human number, its number is six hundred and sixty six

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Maiden Rules! m/

  • The mormons are innocent this time. It’s the prophesy crazed evangelicals and the mystic jews that are the craziest nowadays. But be sure the Mormons will return and get their crazy on.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I thought the Mormons were thinking it’s the end of the world..

  • Palpatine

    Execute Order 66.

  • Jaws

    and the fucked up thing is, they were right

  • moron

    I have to give you guys props for giving ZERO time to put my headphones in. Well played.

  • Clear skies for us. But no blood moon. It was orange brown. Should have lived closer to the equator. Well next time maybe, in 2033. IF WE ARE STILL ALIVE!!! OOOMMMAIGAAWD A BLOOD MOON!!!! THE SUKKOT TETRAD IS UPON US!! WE WILL ALLL DIEEE:!!!! BAGWAAAAHHH!!!!!! I REPENT I REPENT!!!! AAAAA SAVE US RICH SAVE US!!!!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    That’s what a blood moon is

  • Palpatine

    You lost me after 2033. What’s a Sukkot?

  • DOES IT BLEED?! Gaaaaaaaaahh!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    See you in hell.. 😉

  • Palpatine

    Already there.

  • Just google blood moon and youll find all sorts of theories. Its basically a Jewish holiday. And Evangelicals and Mystic Rabbis are warning of the end times because of the Jewish pass over falling at the same time as a blood moon.

  • It should be! HEY LEN! Your new movie should be named Blood Moon! (I’m sure he will read this, he does hang around here sometimes)

  • Jaws

    Curse of the Wolf 2: Blood Moon

  • Palpatine

    But they’ve been doing that shit for thousands of years. I guess they got to get money from sheeple somehow. If there’s one thing Evangelicals and Jews have in common, it’s their love of money. Um, too far?

  • Jaws

    ”In God We Trust”

  • The Jews, Naziz and Evangelicals are all part of the Obama antichrist movement! Dan Akroyd has forseen this.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It was like out of a movie, sadly not this one:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFD9P-QupFs

  • Domo

    So that’s what Ghostbusters 3 is going to be about.

  • Palpatine

    Okay, time to change the topic.

  • Sarah Conner has a Back to the Future car? Why does she not use it to go back in time to stop the… ah never mind!

  • NO! Not even you with a thousand Death Stars can stop the truth.

    #9/11insidejob

  • Mark Bisone

    Hey, now that Apocalypse Moon #2 has gone to bed, mayhap it’s time to retire to the executive lounge?

  • I guess. If that lamo Bill Murray would finally get with the program we could get a decent Ghostbusters movie.

  • How about at reservation at Dorsia?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Like what happened to Moses

  • CotW2:Blood Moon; Do you bleed? Part 2/3, volume one.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Happy Sukkot

  • End User X

    It sounds like you guys didn’t really like MGS from the start, so why would you review the fifth game in a narrative heavy series? Of course you don’t know who anyone is, what you’ve done is the equivalent of starting the LotR Trilogy at the third movie.

    Its also incredibly silly to say you think the gameplay is fantastic but then say you can’t recommend the game because you didn’t like the story (which you clearly payed no attention to, since you thought ‘The Floating Boy’ was a girl despite the fact the the game literally calls him The Floating Boy). You even showed Psycho Mantis (who the character grows up to be in MGS1, a game you said you had played) early in your review, so double points for not paying attention at all.

    Nice to know you value a games story over how it actually plays.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    We just passed Rosh – Hashanah and Yom Kippur. So I guess it missed Passover by a long shot

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    They both said it plays well

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    aaannndd GROGNAR!!!

  • End User X

    and then Jack went on to say he can’t recommend it because he was offended by an optional character you can completely avoid

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes that was his opinion

  • Jaws

    a game is a tool, a means of telling a story, a game without a story is a pretty boring thing

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    very deep..

  • End User X

    and its my opinion that it is pretty crappy to condemn a game for optional content you don’t like

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes that is your opinion

  • Jaws

    it’s good to show contempt for your audience

  • End User X

    and that is your way out of discussion, I suppose

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes, in a way. I also wanted to point out that we all hold our own opinions, but few of us have web-tv shows as a forum to express said opinions, so we get to hear theirs, we may agree or disagree

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ha ha. You clearly haven’t watched this shitshow enough(and I envy you for it if you think they’d have any positives to say towards Soma

  • Leigh Dodson

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  • Wizard Phoenix

    Recruit more pimps, more pushers.

  • Alex

    Good review. One thing I particularly disagree with is your issue with tone — I tend to like Metal Gear’s sudden serious and then sudden silly nature, but to each their own. It works well for me. I don’t think Hideo Kojima is a particularly talented writer (far from it actually) but I’ve been thoroughly entertained by his games over the years despite that. Even coming from someone, like myself, who enjoys the Metal Gear lore (in a bit of a guilty pleasure soap-opera sense), the story in this game wasn’t really all that satisfying to me. So perhaps that was part of your issue as well. Although, given your tastes, I don’t think you’d be that into any of the stories in the other games either (except for maybe Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2 — which are really great games). Anyway, glad you guys enjoyed the gameplay, because that’s truly where I have the most fun with Metal Gear — messing around with all the silly and different ways you can approach different situations. Anyway, take care and thanks. 🙂

  • TapewormBike

    Yeah, uninentionally. Fell asleep while trying to wake my gf up, my dog jumps in at like 5 and voíla, Cthulhu sky.

  • TapewormBike

    MSG’s good, yo.

  • Bubs

    No one cares what you think about Metal Gear Solid.

  • TapewormBike

    https://davidkanigan.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/dog-funny-monday-mornings.jpg?w=600&h=475

    Good morning susnhines! Oh you spend the rest of the time still explaining in detail why you don’t like Pre Rec. I didn’t feel like making pancakes, anyway.

  • Bubs

    I was too busy trying to lick my sister’s blood diamond.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You can add more lightsabers! More lightsabers! Yeeesss! DOOO IIIIIT! More! MORE LIGHTSABERS!

  • TapewormBike

    More Garret!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It was about time!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    it was 2pm here, i looked at it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    i just got home. i’m cooking steak. i’ll post you some.

  • TapewormBike

    The side of me that used to be vegetarian for years is horrified. The rest fucking envies you.

  • TapewormBike

    I checked the Youtube comments. If you like MGSV or Pre Rec, all of you are fanboys. Deal with it.

  • It appears even RLM has their own drones.

  • Bubs

    I’m not a genius. I’m barely literate. But claiming that “flaming unicorns” and “rescuing prisoners of war” can’t exist in the same universe makes you sound like an ignorant asshole. If these things weren’t in the game, your exact complaint would be “this game takes itself too seriously. It’s like Call of Duty. Why is nothing original anymore? Everything feels like a rehash.”

    Guess what shitdicks, sometimes people add in things to their artwork to make it feel different from what others are doing. I don’t know if the game is tonally conflicted, and I don’t give a fuck if it is. But claiming that just because the game mixes fantasy with reality makes it tonally conflicted isn’t just incorrect, it makes you sound like the incompetent hack-fraud game reviewers you are.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Bubs your doing it wrong.
    It should have been a 108 page rant about how no one cares what they think about MSG5.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    She’s your fucking sister!

  • instant relief

    Thanks, now I’m hungry!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    How did you get cured?

  • instant relief

    By Robert Smith.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    He’s some TV cook?

  • instant relief

    I don’t know, I’m no hungarian.

  • Bubs

    The side of me that has always been a carnivore pities you. The side of me that dreams of being a cannibal can’t wait for you to come visit.

  • TapewormBike

    Kinda gradually started eating meat again. It’s really hard when at home and my mom cooks anything to go quietly season some tofu in the corner.

  • instant relief

    Your meat is really hard when your mom quietly cooks tofu in the corner? Oh, I forgot to wear my glasses. I’m so sorry.

  • TapewormBike

    I have been in and seen some discussions that end with “It’s their opinion, so suck it.” And I have used that argument in the past myself.

    Here’s the thing. If your friend has a negative opinion towards the government, that’s probably OK. But if he has that opinion because the government uses chemtrails to make us buy more soap, then it might not be.

    Reasoning is the key. And tinfoil.

  • TapewormBike

    Well, that too.

  • Jaws

    is this your ”i have a dream” speech ;p

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The chemtrails make us buy more sopapillas, not more soap. Check your facts.

  • TapewormBike

    No, I have that one too. It has Nazis that are also bears in it, too.

  • TapewormBike

    Tom is doing that, posting it page by page on here.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    …So you already ate?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    You got anything with a pig-bear-man-monster?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1JeI8Ho2OU

  • instant relief

    I’m nine years old.

  • Like Icare

    No.

    Tinfoil is for invisible mind-control rays.
    For chemtrails you use vinegar.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsdeAF_Prfo

  • Like Icare
  • IRONMANAustralia

    Sounds like the gameplay owes a great deal to an old Activision Western game named, “Gun”, (also jokingly known as, “Grand Theft Horse”). It’s also a sandbox game, (first one I ever played), and the resemblance and description of the missions is uncannily similar. eg. Going from town to town in a desert landscape, being able to wait until nightfall to evade guards, etc.

    If you guys liked the gameplay and never played “Gun” before, I’d recommend taking a look at it. I’d be interested in hearing you compare them.

    I’m glad Jack’s experience with the MGS franchise is the same as mine and he mentioned that from the get-go. I thought I was the only one hadn’t really played any since the first MGS.

  • HeavenOnEarth

    Very good review! I’m a gamer myself since 89′ and Jack and Rich are spot on about Metal Gear Solid 5. MGS always had its problems if it comes to combine story, marvel universe like supervillains, Cold War/ Crisis atmosphere and the fantastic gameplay. And I would have stopped MGS2, too if that movie with some playable parts didn’t had cost me over 60 bugs. If you jump over all movie sections you have a game 3h long. Prolog included! WTF!! Not to mention that I almost missed the masterpiece “Snake Eater” thanks to my experiences with MGS2. And I also liked the part were Rich looked into the camera “talking” to us. You guys care about the MGS fans. Big plus for that!

  • TapewormBike

    Nah

  • HeavenOnEarth

    The Youtube comment section is a yawning chasm, filled with emptiness and the puerile meanderings of sentience…

  • instant relief

    I got tremors, too. *sadface*

  • HeavenOnEarth

    Would be better for your health to stay away from Germany….

  • HeavenOnEarth

    sounds a bit Lucas-ish…0o and what about chess? But I would want to agree to that.

  • Bhazor

    [Jokingly]”I think you’re the bad guy.”

    Yes.

    Yes you really are.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Australia found a new and horrific way to kill people… 200 meter wide sinkholes on the beach.
    If i didnt love the place so much I would recommend Nuking it from orbit…. Just to be sure.

    http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/queenslands-sinkhole-peninsula-may-disappear-entirely/story-e6frg6n6-1227546804578

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Is it wrong i went here?

  • instant relief

    “Only subscribers can access our premium articles and content.”

    Fuck your capitalism!

  • HeavenOnEarth

    I’m actually wondering much more about people who are hyped for these 2 games. The one is from Bethesda (needs at least 20 patches AND several mods to work how it is intended) and the other one has a story from books that lonely women are reading to let off some steam. In addition to his look. Is there no full body armor in this game? To hide his ass for example?

  • instant relief

    That’s very creative, Australia!

  • Like Icare

    No wonder Luthor wanted Australia for himself.

    There he could play with land sinking schemes for the rest of his days.

  • HeavenOnEarth

    Nei, they are just joking….
    i hope…

  • Mugato

    Jack is straight? Ok.

  • Amontillado
  • WrongWithYourFace

    “If you wait a while the chemtrails start to disappear.”

    Uh-huh. I thought they would stay there forever. My method is that whenever I see a chemtrail, I go take a dump. And when I come back, they’re gone!

  • Amontillado

    No, he’s oblong.

  • Earth

    Saw the Eclipse. Couldn’t see the bloodmoon though. Eclipse was pretty cool though.

  • Amontillado
  • Amontillado
  • Glyph Wright

    Nigger, please. Over the top mystical fantasy and grimdark war veteran drama do not mix together at all. Maybe someone more talented and less pretentious could make this work, but Jack and RIch are completely right about the game being tone deaf – the abrupt transitions from insane to serious sequences feel like the game just punched you in the gut.

    You make something new and original by identifying a core element that is shared by two different tones/styles, and then establishing the connection between them. What Hideo Kojima does is throw in random shit for no reason.

  • Glyph Wright

    I agree with the review. This game has some really good elements in it, but overall it is not good, and leaves an unpleasant aftertaste in your mouth after you’re done playing. Or maybe that’s the bleach I’ve been drinking. Oh, and fuck anyone who is even mildly okay with softcore fanservice like Quiet in their video games. You don’t need to be a sensitive joss whedon to feel repulsed by dirty old men like Kojima inserting their wank fantasies into the products they sell. The Witcher series also comes to mind, although apart from the obnoxiously revolting fanservice, Witcher 3 a far better game than MGSV.

  • Earth

    Wait, you mean they’re not?

  • Earth

    No the President wants you to do that. The Colonel guy is against it and orders the Enclave to basically ignore the President. The dumb thing is you’re actually the most dangerous threat as you’re the only person with the FEV virus thingy.

    That’s the dumb thing. From what I can tell, the Enclave are just trying to take over the water purifier and bring order to what is an incredibly hostile wasteland…and we’re fighting against this because?

    I wouldn’t normally be bothered by this, but this game won writing awards.

  • Earth

    I’m always just kinda baffled by Pre-Rec. It seems like the guys would enjoy it more if it was just a Let’s Play thing. I know they do that to an extent anyway, but I don’t really get the review part.

  • Jaws

    ”uh, uuhh, checkmate”
    – Jeff Goldblum

  • Jaws

    nobody does, and that may remain a mystery for the ages

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The Pre-Rec live stream for Mad Max is a much better review for ‘MSGV:Period Pains’ than this.

    https://youtu.be/rh06ppTSU3E

  • instant relief

    You’ve been using the same account for more than 50 comments. Thumbs down. Unsubscribed.

  • instant relief

    PreRec is a review show?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its nearly 100! thats not the real Jaws its a fake!!!… like those tits.

  • Jaws

    jack ruby is running late, ya just cant trust anybody these days

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Jaws

    a nightmare on elm street, good show that

  • Oh, that doesn’t make sense, then.
    Well, gaming award shows are all kinds of terrible. Kind of like the Oscars, so I take them with a grain of salt. Nevertheless, this is baffling.

  • Another Stoklasa classic. I made a face when he made that joke. A disturbing man indeed.

  • Like Icare

    To me that’s the original version.

    Managed to stay away from the whole hearing Lorde (More like bored-eh – amIright!?) thing before stumbling on it while listening to some Al.

  • tOmy`

    Fantasy / Sci-Fi / Horror genres always mixed well with FPS game, regardless on them being “smart” or “dumb”.
    Not only is the 5th of MGS pretty much a testament to the fact that it works and creates a massive fanbase, but most of the classic FPS games are batshit insane. Even the modern military frat boy shooters are slowly going that route – previous Black Ops, current Black Ops and Advanced Warfare are slowly turning more and more ridiculous. We have more than enough of grounded FPS games.

    I am afraid that if you don’t agree with MGS’s choices, than that is just your opinion and not the game’s fault.

  • Brenda Reed

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    .af.
    ➤➤➤ http://GoogleTopCareersGetLatestFinancialJobs/get/morethan$97/h…
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  • tOmy`

    It would be cool if they changed the format into 2 weeks of streams and then just creating a video about “What we played and what we think about it. Was it fun playing together? Did the stream have fun? Did Jay have fun?”.

    Just quickly talking about 3 – 5 games in one segment, clearly stating what are those games, put in some funny moments from stream and just leave it be. For a bunch of guys that “work” for an entertainment group that is based around reviews, they have some solid issues with doing game reviews.

  • TapewormBike

    And that’s fine, it’s the smugness and presentation of said opinion that is the problém. Fuck you t9, trynna talk američan bere. Shit

  • tOmy`

    I DEMAND ANSWERS AND / OR QUALITY CHECK!

    AND SOMETHING SOMETHING MINIMUM WAGE!

  • tOmy`

    I am still confused by their use of Psycho Mantis segment. For people that know jackshit about this franchise, that must have been like “what?” despite it being one of the most classic moments of gaming ever.

    That was the first time when I was a bit confused by them claiming that they played the game – I think they used the “now put your controller down” part as a joke, because they found it on the interwebz and thought it shows the ridiculousness of the game while absolutely missing the point / mechanics.

    Same goes for the moral ambiguity of the story. They were making fun of it like it wasn’t pretty much established from the MGS 1 that this is indeed a vital part of the concept and theme. Like “Haha, that game doesn’t even tell you! Haha, maybe you are a bad guy!”

    This is the webzone made famous by Plinkett reviews, right?

  • tOmy`

    If we all take a poop at the same time, maybe the Illuminati will lose.

  • HeavenOnEarth

    If you like the game what does it matter what other people think about it?

  • tOmy`

    Nah, I think MGS ripped-off Mario. And unsuccessfully I might add.

  • HeavenOnEarth

    Trying to force someones opinion onto others is the problem….
    What happend to you guys? Large investment into Konami papers???

  • TapewormBike

    It matters because SOMEONE IS WRONG ON THE INTERNET!

  • tOmy`

    I am gonna be honest: Since the first teaser, I was expecting for people to jump on the “THIS GAME IS SILLY” bandwaggon, absolutely forgetting that this is indeed the game and it has been like that for a decade and some.

    So I just want to unload all my bullets I had stored since then. It’s like an anger management but with more dead bodies.

  • tOmy`

    That is funny, we ain’t exactly enforcing our opinions – I am mostly bitching about the quality of the review and being baffled by people bitching about the stylistical choices of the game.

    I am not saying someone should buy it. Fuck, I am not gonna. I am saving money for an actual unicorn, can of gasoline and matches.

  • HeavenOnEarth

    you used to be the cool tapewormBike guy…thingy…..
    my hope an dreams shattered…..bloodmoon I curse you!!! :/

  • TapewormBike

    I am not forcing opinions, rather questioning the arguments

  • Like Icare

    Is that like the reverse of the Chinese earthquake jumping?

  • TapewormBike

    Used to be cool was my highschool nickname

  • tOmy`

    Pretty much.

    I call it “earthquake dumping”.

  • Like Icare

    White Fire did a much better job with all them Turkish Marios.
    And incest.

  • TapewormBike

    Qumping for short

  • tOmy`

    Good mechanics always beat the story.

    Shitty game that looks horrific and barely works won’t be saved by good story.
    Great, satisfying and engaging game can have the dumbest story ever and it is still gonna work more than well.

  • Jaws

    since when does logic and common sense ever won an argument ;p

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    DONT REPLY TO THE SPAM!!!!
    Please, if you dont reply they will give up.

  • tOmy`

    But how am I supposed to chat with you th-

    Oh, you mean Brenda.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    BOTH!!!!!

  • tOmy`

    Nasa Mars mystery press conference likely to announce that dark streaks on Mars are flowing water, papers indicate

    Can I get a holy shit hell yea?

  • instant relief

    You beat me off to it! Someone might have my pearl necklace now.

  • instant relief

    Is it tuesday already in the Thunderdome?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    i’ll give you a new one if you want….
    *unzips pants….

  • instant relief

    I’m ready for your penile follies! Bring it!

  • instant relief

    Time for your breast reduction surgery!

  • instant relief

    No green men on Mars? I’m not interested!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I know right? That Earth guy must be smoking some serious shit.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    In Australia it has been Tuesday for 4 billion years.
    You have to be her to feel the massive lack of time.
    Here is some history.
    https://youtu.be/vRwsUBchfjc

  • tOmy`

    We should all take a minute here and realize that this year:

    NASA found Earth 2.0
    Got proper coverage of Pluto
    After succesfully landing their toy on freaking comet, we finally got first broadcast from it
    And now they most likely confirmed water on Mars

    These are the coolest fucking people on the planet. I honestly wish they would end every press conference with a mic drop from now on.

  • Jaws

    well that would require a lot of suction ;p

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    MEH!! i call bull shit. it will be methane or ‘space thing’

  • Jaws

    nah man the earth is only 6 thousand years old, check your facts

  • Jaws

    alf

  • tOmy`

    I think Earth does smoke some serious shit, mainly carbon dioxide and methane.

    Haha, ozone depletion jokes, hehe, we are all going to die, ha… ha

  • dollar store cashier wife

    saying “it’s my/their opinion therefore suck it” is always a complete rock block towards an actual discussion with actual critical thinking involved . unsurprisingly it’s the people who have less arguments are always the one playing the opinion as if your meaningless shit lakcing any insightfulness instantly deserves respect by default. news flash:it doesn’t. especially when you’re a hack fraud who makes an actual living from lazily spouting your rambles.

  • tOmy`

    Why didn’t you change your avatar to Quiet yet?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I would call that a “Conservative Estimate.”
    BADUMTISH!!!!

  • Marsians are a-holes. 3rd grade planet. They don’t even have warpdrive!

    4 real, the water thing is cool!

  • Needs bigger bewbs?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Alf was from Melmack!!!
    PAY ATTENTION!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    dude they’ve been here all along. otherwise PreRec would not get defended.

  • Jaws

    and yet we still cant get to the moon, or did we…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m dyslexic… I read that as “Nigger needs boobs.”
    apparently my dyslexia is a racist.

  • tOmy`
  • instant relief

    I hope you find someone who can provide you with the proper amount.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    FUCK EM’
    I want giant fucking lasers not unmanned probes!
    I’m sure Omitted would agree that without a man your probe is pointless.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I sucked the chrome off a tow ball…
    Now my lungs are fucked…..

  • Jaws

    woudlnt you rather go to venus, though, thats where all the women are, mars must be the gayest planet in the solar system, aside from earth.

  • HeavenOnEarth

    If you are wondering what happend with some of our beloved fellows here…. BLOODMOON! I work on a cannon to blast his majesty out of orbit until then watch this video for educational purposes only: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rylskpwSjlI

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It’s 240.C! and 30,000KPH! With Mol of higher than 1!!!!!!
    Thats a really bad idea.

  • Jaws

    hot women, maybe there is water on mars, but that just means its raining men.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Better than Sulfuric Acid….
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5aZJBLAu1E

  • tOmy`

    Giant fucking lasers are more up the US military alley.

    That is the reason why is NASA looking for a new planet to live on. They are sick and tired of being underfunded by sharing money with organization that’s only victory was not getting obliterated yet, while they navigate a piece of metal through vacuum to land on a frozen space rock blasting through our galaxy.

    And then make cute tweets about it. It fucking tweeted “Yawn” when the sun reached its solar panels and the probe woke up. How fucking cool is that?

    The only time when US military was funny was when they said “Mission Accomplished”.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was joking about lasers. they are only useful as interceptors. the smart money is all on Rail Guns.

  • tOmy`

    Me too, “Mission Accomplished” was more of a nonmedy case.

    I think we gonna see proper sonic weapons first tho.

  • instant relief

    Come on, you can still suck the silicone out of those tits! I believe in you!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Have you seen the tests of the Microwave Area Denial Systems?

  • I prefer the term apologists. Hey, at least the set is nice.

  • tOmy`

    Looking at it now.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I just realised that 30 years ago me and you talking like this would be treason… for both of us.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    TREASON!

  • tOmy`

    It looks very “safe” indeed.

  • instant relief

    Better than the Menorrhea Seas on Venus.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Apparently they have a “Blistering Problem.”
    I say they cooked the chicken to long.

  • tOmy`

    Internet went on a rant about what could possibly be the most underwhelming announcement NASA will make:

    “Its orbit is 1/4 km more elliptical than expected”
    “It’s not red… it’s red orange”
    And my personal favorite: “It’s been countless hours of hard work but we can now say, with certainty, that MH370 is in fact not on Mars.”

  • tOmy`

    “Blistering problem”?

    That sounds like an euphemism for “It burns your skin and peels it right the fuck off… in… in like a safe way.”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “Not on Mars.” is my new ‘Lion Brain.’

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Seriously i’m going to shove a Tampax in the next person to make a menstruation joke.

  • instant relief

    I might get a kick out of that.

  • instant relief

    I wanna crash my plane into your twin towers until it explodes.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    All this talk of microwave and sonic weapons mad me.. made me remember….
    This is made of BotW.

    https://youtu.be/nsaDeEaQy8Q

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    On september 11th 2001 at 22:30(Au) me and my girlfriend went to bed.
    We had the TV on and… one thing led to another and by 22:40 it was ON!
    a few minutes later 911 was live on the TV…
    Thats right! i was Cock Blocked by 911!!!!
    FUCK YOU OSAMA!

  • Drunk Superman

    TBF to them, they focus on the gameplay because of their ignorance of the lore. Its not like they’re going “doy whats a Metal Gear? Why’s Solid Snake travelled back in time?” etc. I personally love the MGS series but I’ve yet to hear a convincing argument the lore is anything but a convoluted mess. Rich summed it up, the series’ approach to narrative is tone deaf.

  • Jaws

    it wasnt osama, lee harvey oswald was flying those planes

  • Palpatine

    Doesn’t look BotW enough, especially since Peter Cushing is in it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Lea Harvey Phasma.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It’s worth watching…. i cant go further than that.

  • instant relief

    You call a sheep girlfriend?

  • Palpatine

    It does look watchable, but not so bad it’s good.

  • instant relief

    Cracka ass cracka needs boobs, too, you racist.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Life is like a cabbage: Sometimes it is green and crunchy, sometimes dad stabs the cat with a knife because his foot ball team lose again

    Life is like a cabbage: sometimes it is green and round, and sometimes mom wish you were never born

    If you throw a cabbage in the air he will alway come right back down to you because he is lonely without you.

    If there is a fire in your house make sure you save all the cabbages before you even think about finding your children

    A cabbage does not wear a watch but he always have time for you

    Instead of drinking coffee in the morning try laying down with a cabbage on your stomach and you will be wide awake trust me

    If you push a cabbage under water he will alway float right back up to the top because he miss you so much

    A cabbage does not have ears but that does not mean that he is immune to your lies

    Some time you think about a cabbage and you get so excited that forget to go to sleep again for five days

    Sometimes you hate your life and dont want to be alive anymore but then you think about cabbage and know that everything will be ok

    You can paint a cabbage green but that is a waste of paint because he is already green you idiot

    If you run out of pillows maybe try using a cabbage

    You can tell a cabbage has gone bad if he is wearing a leather jacket

    if you are sad put a cabbage in your back pack and carry him every where so it feel like you have a friend that want to spend time with you

    A cabbage is so pretty but you are real ugly

    You can ask a cabbage for financial advice but he will not say any thing because he is a cabbage

    You can put a cabbage on the hood of your car. People will not under stand what you are doing but at least you are doing some thing

    If you put plastic eyeballs on a cabbage and take him to the movies it might feel like you have a friend I hate my life

    Dr. Suess did not ever make a poem about cababge And now he is dead

    A cabbage can not get pregnant believe me I tried

    You can put a cabbage in a baby carriage amd take him for a walk and people will say “who this” and you can say “he is my cabbaby”

    If you want to trick your parents put a cabbage on your pillow at night and they will think you are sleeping but you are actually crying

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its basically an American take on a English classic right after the script writer saw “The Final Countdown.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyjNInIH4Hw

  • Jaws

    man if ya cant make a cabbage pregnant where do cabbage patch kids come from

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    -1 for no ‘Sour Kraut.’ jokes.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    AIDS?

  • instant relief

    Benedict’s Thundercunt?

  • instant relief

    I can read only 140 characters at a time.

  • I imagined Forest Gump saying those words. In my mind’s eye it made the film much better and explained all the weird grammatical errors you usually don’t make.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Speaking of the war on terror.
    Given the shit fest that we made of Afghanistan i expect 2million american movies…
    Vietnam: Australia made two songs.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Urtiyp-G6jY
    And a Cover of the same song.
    https://youtu.be/ns82tHhJOr0

  • Like Icare

    I remember finding the ending to that movie on a rented VHS tape (99% of those were completely pirated here).
    And boy did it look awesome!
    Only problem is… I had no idea what that was. Biggles had exactly ZERO cultural influence around these parts.
    Best it could hope for was a stray reference on Only Fools and Horses or the Thin Blue Line.
    And even then you had to have some knowledge of English, fore-knowledge of the Biggles as a cultural artifact… and you had to be a tad obsessive compulsive and pop-culture hungry like me.

    Later I found the entire movie… and it was not as great as imagined.
    But it was not bad.
    It’s actually kinda brilliant if you think about it.
    Character is completely dated and unusable in the modern world – but make it a time-jumping mystery (bonus points for Dr. Who fans with Cushing) and it works.

    Particularly cause you don’t really have to provide an actual story.
    Just make some action scenes and connect them via time-jumping character.
    Hijinks ensue.
    Dr. Who’s been doing that for decades.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Doctor Who Fans dont count Cushing…
    but your point is valid.

  • Palpatine

    You just went from movies to songs. Have you been drinking?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I havent not been drinking….

  • Palpatine

    You just used a double negative.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    SHIT! he saw through my cunning ruse… I need a sober driver for my getaway!

  • The Ghost

    Hideo Kojima. He took 12 years to ah fuck it, I can’t feign interest in this series anymore.

  • instant relief

    Alcohol is boring. Fancy some meth instead?

  • Earth

    I remember 2008 was a really dark time for games, especially AAA titles, but now thanks to Steam and Indie developers and all the rest of it, I think gaming, and gaming criticism can only get better.

    The next couple months with Fallout 4 are going to be very dark days though.

  • RLMkeepitup

    it could have stopped at 3, as most series do

  • RLMkeepitup

    TLDR: Life is like cabbage, or lettuce depending on how you look at it

  • Earth

    How can you laugh, when I’m in such pain?

  • Earth

    I was eating rotisserie chicken while watching The Wicker Man.

  • Amontillado

    You don’t have to, we have forgotten it already. Do you like puppies?

  • Jaws

    man thats a long time to fuck something

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Riddle of the day: guess what “Noder Dame” is?

  • instant relief

    A brothel in Paris.

  • tOmy`

    Seeing as the latest topics covered Quiet’s quite controversial yoga stance and pornhub realizing that girls like licking pussy, I think that this is the perfect time to bring this up:

    Peaches – Rub

    tl;dr version: If you are conservative, you have to avoid this album, or you gonna have a lot of explaining to do during your next confession. If you don’t like to keep an open mind about sex or you feel bad about this topic, you should avoid this album (and feel sorry for your significant other). If you didn’t like the rough production of some of her previous work, you might like this more. If you are a fan of Peaches, then there is no reason why you shouldn’t be listening to it right now.

    big boy version: I would like to make an opening statement: There are feminists that act like banshees who spew their political nonsense into any cavity in their vicinity. But Peaches is not a banshee, she is a rap-siren that just shipwrecked patriarchy by Clit 101.

    Let’s start where the album starts because I would like talk about 3 things here:
    1) Right off the bat, when the in-your-face drum hits your ears like a slap, it is obvious that the production is much more polished while still keeping the minimalist, dirty and raw value.
    2) Kim Gordon is the one who opens the album. Why am I bringing this up? How many other artists can you think of that let someone else steal the first vocals on their album? I assume that this was deliberately made to pay homage to Kim, 62 year old musical icon of emancipation and dirty queen of punk-rock. This is a brilliant idea as it shows that Peaches understands her social surrounding, sisterhood and knows how to show respect to her mentors.
    3) Kim ends her chorus by “Are you ready?” and while this might have been totally unintentional, it begs the question whether she talks to Peaches or audience. I love it.

    So 20 seconds in and there are already 3 quality things to talk about – and we didn’t even get to Peaches and more importantly to her peach. So let’s dip in, shall we?

    Peaches is going as strong as ever, supporting her open forum about sex by wittiness, maturity and never goes for the “shock value” alone, which is more than great, because if it wasn’t for this, it would be hard to take all that kinky stuff seriously. Here is an example:

    Remember when I posted the lyrics to Dick in the Air? Well, eventough it might look way too obvious, it ain’t, because you have to get to the verse after it, where she says she is sick of “hands in the air”, “shaking asses like we don’t care” and “shaking tits” taking an ultimately devastating stab at modern music – it is guy’s turn now to get down on the dancefloor – “change the position”. Suddenly, her repeating word “dick, dick, dick” paints a great picture into how Peaches (and other women) must see the constant “booty” obsession flooding internet. This is so fucking brilliant that I have to also say that the whole song plays out like your typical sleazy anthem for girls, which is so fucking meta that I wanna marry this song.

    Same goes for songs like Vaginoplasty, where she openly claims being blessed by her big lips. And other songs you gonna get a lot of talking about clitoris and especially my favorite part, where she claims that if you go numb inside of her, you better stick a finger up your ass or she is gonna stick her fist in there. Peaches emancipates by openly expressing herself in a way that is real, mature and unfiltered, making this incredible potent addition to modern feminism. And if you claim you have no clue what is she talking about then you are either a virgin or you are lying to yourself.

    I will mention two more things and I promise to let you go home:
    1) Moshpit-ready rock-meets-rave production of Sick in the Head is brutally good, beat on How You Like My Cut is ready to tremble window-panes in every ghetto and Free Drink Ticket has a great dirty effect on violin.
    2) Let’s be honest, what is closer to reality and should be de-kinkyfied? Nicki Minaj’s obsession with big fat black dicks and buttcheek implants, or erectile dysfunction, problems with making a lady cum and clitoris lessons?

    As a Peaches album: 10/10
    Rating for purpose of reviews in general: 8/10, absolutely worth a recommendation and another addition to my Top list for 2015.

  • TapewormBike

    I really need to stop reading up on stuff. A bad female character with boobs in a game, seems to be the equivalent of bringing up the refugee crisis.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, and: There is a lot of great jokes and witty wordplays, so here is one more taste:

    Hormone zone, different wardrobe, testosterone
    Blendr, Tinder, Findher, Grindr, romance the phone

  • tOmy`

    Well, the good thins is that unlike immigrants, she will find a job because of her breasts.

    #PC

  • TapewormBike

    She’s dead, man, way too unsensitive. Oh and, spoilers.

  • Palpatine

    I’ve completely forgotten what the above video is about.

  • tOmy`

    You can always grow another one.

  • TapewormBike

    Some Adam Sandler film I think.

  • Palpatine

    Pre-Rec is an Adam Sander film?

  • tOmy`

    If life gives you cabbage, ask where the lemon’s at.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Circlejerking.

  • Jaws

    what video

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s equally funny…

    but also equally sad…

    FoRk In ThE BrAIn FoRk In ThE BrAIn FoRk In ThE BrAIn FoRk In ThE BrAIn FoRk In ThE BrAIn FoRk In ThE BrAIn FoRk In ThE BrAIn FoRk In ThE BrAIn FoRk In ThE BrAIn

  • Jaws

    its the opposite of a found footage film, its a lost footage film

  • TapewormBike

    Shit, I thought I closed that tab.

  • Palpatine

    The video of Budd Dwyer committing suicide on camera. Ah, you’re too young to remember that.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well I fucked up on my Rich Evan’s cosplay because I shaved my beard.

  • Palpatine

    Rich didn’t have a beard in that video.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh never mind. I did it better.

  • Palpatine

    Now show us photographic evidence of your cosplay.

  • Jaws

    the gratest movie ever made

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Wait until December. I treat cosplay like a steak. So much steak, Liara. I fucking love steak.

  • Palpatine

    I too love steak.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I hope you mean Pre-Rec.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That is why I will only wear it at the midnight premiere of The Force Awakens.

  • The Ghost

    I hope you dance.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I do…like this unfortunately

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY_DF2Af3LM

  • RLMkeepitup

    someone will snap some raw footage of that, it will be a rare sight to behold.

  • Palpatine

    I might dress up as Plinkett for the premiere.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    My buddy Cassie will probably find me in that outfit.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I watched Strange Magic because George Lucas…wow it was horrible. Imagine if Jar Jar Binks’ animation and character made up and entire film with shitty music chosen by George Lucas. It’s worse than that.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Did anyone get a statement from David Bowie?

  • Jaws

    aw, it was gonna be great

  • Palpatine

    When will Lucas realize he sucks as a filmmaker?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He technically didn’t direct it.

  • Palpatine

    Did it feel like something he’d direct though?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh yes it does but not in the Red Tails kinda way. I mean in the Jar Jar kinda way.

  • Palpatine

    That’s pretty bad then.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Understatement of the fucking year.

  • Palpatine

    Then make a long ass post talking about why you hate it.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I hope the Auralnauts give it their treatment. I’ve watched their version of the prequels more than the actual prequels (once, excepting Sith which I watched twice for scientific purposes).

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t need to. It was basically directed by George Lucas, horrible and vomit inducing animation, horrible writing, and horrible fucking music.

  • Palpatine

    I really wish it got the HitB treatment.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s animated, it will never happen.

  • 101 Wacky Film Jokes:
    So, a guy walks into a bar and orders a drink.
    “What’ll you have?” asks the bartender.
    “Scotch” answered the man.
    Suddenly he breaks into a rant about women and love and how nothing is meaningful anymore.
    Then he realizes he’s in a Woody Allen movie.
    SCENE.

  • instant relief

    Plot hole: why didn’t the guy hurt his head when walking into the bar?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Everything after the man walks into the bar is a dream he’s having while knocked out from the hit.

  • instant relief

    And since he walked into Gordon Freeman’s crowbar…. HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Irrational Man starring me

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s amazing how literally no one saw that film.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Walk looks fucking horrible. Any one else agree?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The first trailer was so bad laughably bad.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I saw the trailer in 3D when I went to see Ant-Man. It reminds me of one of those 3D (or 4D) theaters you go to at a theme park. They’re not even trying to disguise it as a real movie.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Zagnar

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mike predicted the future.

  • Domo

    I wouldn’t mind if they did this as a documentary IMAX 3D experience, where they mix stuff from the documentary and re-create the outdoor scenes. As a movie, though, I’m just not that interested.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Too soon.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Wock: An Engrish Dwayne Johnson.

  • TapewormBike

    It took me a good few thinkins before I realized what it even was.

  • Fire Wok with Me. 50 Asian cuisine recipes with your host David Lynch.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Also, some of the magic is lost when you realize that the magnificent highlight of the film, the walk itself, was probably filmed two feet off the ground over a green screen.

    Besides, what else happens in the movie that justifies it to be a feature film? I can see the walking part talking 10 minutes at the most.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Joaq starring Me.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The Wok’ing Dead: undead asian fusion foodies terrorize gentrified neighborhoods and P.F. Changs.

  • instant relief

    The Cock starring*

    *actor’s name omitted

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    David Lunch

  • Domo

    I think Zemekis hopped on 9gag one day, saw all the photos of people taking selfies on top of incredibly high buildings, and thought “I’m gonna one up those bastards like nobody’s business! Oh look! A documentary has already laid the foundation for me!”

  • TapewormBike

    Ah, yes, the Man on Wire Zemake

  • TapewormBike

    “You mean I can put a background in?!”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I do think the best job on the planet has to be driving an r/c car on Mars Someone goes home everyday after steering and gathering data from another planet and is paid for their time. They go home, shopping, do the dance of birth, and go to bed and start the day over again where they drive a car on another fucking planet.

  • instant relief

    Hudson Joaq?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    So Alternative 3 was real after all? Damn you Brian Eno!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Have you guys ever seen this? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twice_Upon_a_Time_(1983_film)
    Produced by George himself. It’s actually really good and funny

  • TapewormBike

    Good night guys. No dogs, for reasons.

  • Daggoth

    I hate to be “that guy” but seriously you two should’ve at least familiarized yourselves with the major plot points of the metal gear solid series. You can’t really get into a proper review of the fifth installment of one of the most complex, convoluted, tonally mismatched, insane story universes — directed by a man who is considered a genius by some and a troll by others — by not wrapping your head around the other MG games.

    In this circumstance I would have said: At least watch a play through of MGS3, Peace Walker and Portable Ops which are considered cannon with the main story. If you did then this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWc2qS4tDPU

    Would have been second nature to you by now.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thumbs down, no dogs.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You found out you had an allergy? Someone told you dogs are made out of meat?

  • TapewormBike

    My gf’s family dog died, not feeling it.

  • Just a sidenote. I found out that the people who made interesting NPCs for Skyrim (some companions were on par with Baldur’s Gate) also made some mods for Fallout 3 and New Vegas. I’m gonna check them out. Hopefully, they’re as good as the ones in Skyrim. http://3dnpc.com/

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s only decent not to in that situation.

    Too soon? I’m sorry, this time I think it actually might be.

  • TapewormBike

    Well, I’m cried out, and it’s not like I come here expecting not to get my balls broken

  • TapewormBike

    Don’t worry, we’re all that guy.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Rich n’ Jack are pretty good about acknowledging critical feedback on pre-rec vids during their live streams..quickly followed by the phrase fuck you too… kindof a love hate relationship, if you will

  • Domo

    Have you heard about the skunk joke?
    You don’t want to; it really stinks!

    There. Your balls didn’t get broken, but your brain kinda did.
    Feel better soon!

  • TapewormBike

    (Mike’s voice) That’s terrible!

  • Daggoth

    I know I know. I’m just confused about where they are directing their criticism… is it the universe itself or this installment?

    Because that freaky surreal shit that hideo kojima sticks in there is inseparable from the universe (Like the weird loli stuff he puts in MGS4), and he’s been putting games out there since the nineties. So by this point in time it’s an well known staple of MGS… almost expected really…

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • RLMkeepitup

    they did seem aware of the hideo style but it looked at its most exaggerated yet in this game, which with a weaker set of characters seemed to make the formula less balanced than previous games. Rich still said it was good just not super, kinda like pre-rec.

  • Ron Perlman? More like Perl Ronman!

    #thatsthejoke

  • Wizard Phoenix

    ….what?

  • It’s a joke. A good joke.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean a Happy Madison joke.

  • Daggoth

    I dunno… MGS3 gets pretty out there sometimes…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y897tozJeg8

    And… well… this too

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VhqB_umbHI

  • Like Icare

    Hey youse guys… Anyone seen this?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X0d-2x0NAk

    If not… and you like crime/mystery stories… and you don’t mind subtitles… youse should. It’s pretty good.
    Clearly on a budget (there’s a big part of the credits dedicated to kickstarters) but very effectively constructed.

    http://www.manfromrenomovie.com/

    Just ignore the praise it got from that guy. You know… THAT guy.

  • tOmy`

    I spent last few hours drinking and I would like to thank you for the number of replies / upvotes for my Peaches review.

    Cunts.

    Back to 9/11: Pre-Rec.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Finally some useful ads

    http://i.imgur.com/kl8tjFH.jpg

  • RLMkeepitup

    I got the impression they didn’t play the 3rd one unfortunately, which is why they’ll always be hack frauds. That killer theme song, those jiggly wigglys. I could have done without the Raiden crotch shot however.

  • RLMkeepitup

    chicken thing looks like a mess. the backpack booze mixer? looks like the bomb from die hard with vengeance.

  • Palpatine

    Mike would love that stuff.

  • tOmy`

    Hey! I just realized! There is gonna be a lot of people coming here because they like tech and weird shit etc. now, right?

    So here is my proposition: Play the game of Mr. Robot – The only TV show that makes you a part of the clusterfuck.

    No, honestly. You… you just have to download it. There are no DLC or recommended settings. Just…. just watch it.

    THANK YOU!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *drinks to synth music*

  • Like Icare

    The really sad part is that he is really a doctor.

    Then again, so is Cuneyt Arkin A.K.A. the Turkish Star Wars Guy.
    Who also has 287 credits on imdb, paints in his spare time and is a “renowned martial artist in seven disciplines”.

  • Daggoth

    Metal Gear Solid: Its all so, so very strange.

    Right up there with Vamps crotch-blade in MGS4. And just… Vamp in general.

  • tOmy`

    Oh: And take spray cans into the street and let them know:

    There is a revolution. It is just a revolution of TV shows. Wall street… seems intact so far…

    #EndOfTheWorldParty #OneDay

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Hey, it’s “That Guy!”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Only Jaws can talk to himself.

  • tOmy`

    He was great in Communty. Until he wasn’t.

    Oh, shit, this is not Star Wars, why am I even bringing that shit up here…

  • RLMkeepitup

    Vamp was scary at first because I didn’t think he was vulnerable. Most of the bosses in the franchise were cool, except fatman.. I felt he was an unfair portrayal of fat people. He even seemed happy to be fat, which society tells us is impossible.

  • Palpatine

    *Andrew

  • Daggoth

    Solidus was pretty sweet too its a shame what they did to him in the end tho

  • tOmy`

    Yea, sorry: Star Wars.

    Haha, lightsaber. Thingies on side of lightsabers.

    #DrunkCheereleadersBeingCuntzzzz

  • John G

    The great MGS are 3 and 4 you should play those.

  • fred

    It’s unprofessional of Jack and Rich to completely ignore Metal Gear’s legacy of flawless storytelling.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8iBBJE_MZ0

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Jack and Rich?

  • Domo

    *Rick and Jack.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    on it.

  • Amontillado

    I think I just saw the next PreRec episode: SOMA. It’s gooood.

  • bleurgh

    Yeah, looks rubbish. Also they should not be advertising that it’s from the director of Flight in the trailer. Flight is one of the worst movies I’ve seen from the last 10 years.

  • fred

    Rick and Rack

  • Amontillado

    Rip & Rap

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jock & Rock

  • Amontillado

    Hang out in the sun a bit and eat some chocolate – it helps, a little. Sorry about the dog, I lost a dog too and can empathize.

  • Amontillado

    The Walk is an inferior sequel to the rousing, but underappreciated, The Trot. The Trot combined the amazing chemistry of Maggie Smith and Chris Tucker in ways that could not be predicted. Especially the touching, candid but not self-indulgent arc that Seth Rogen’s character goes through, it’s simply sublime. And shot on location in Cambodia too!

  • Niccageshair

    His wig looks solid. It’s one of those movies you go to for the wig-work.

  • Amontillado

    Hop and Scotch

  • Niccageshair

    Frick and Frack

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I wonder if you can unlock a mode where you play as the horse, or, better still, the unicorn. I’d play that game.
    Edit: I’d call it Metal Gear Solid: Unicorn Ultimatum. What would YOU call it?

  • Domo

    That sounds like a good premise for a Gardens of The Galaxy video game.

    Eat plants. Shit out seeds. Make a garden. Grow flaming wings and venture to a new galaxy. Shit and repeat.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ken Jeong found my tweet about the booze and flask ads next to the Dr. Ken show…help me.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I hardly ever talk to my self. Thats right me!. Quiet you!

  • That trailer was so fucking surreal for me because I had JUST seen Man on Wire the previous day.

    Really though, I just can’t understand why they’re making it. The documentary is just fine and it came out so recently, not to mention I can’t see it being that big of a box-office draw.

  • Glyph Wright

    It really isn’t.

  • Bubs

    “Shit and repeat.” There’s a tagline for the Call of Duty series.

  • Bubs

    Mentioning that would require a knowledge of the games industry and/or 5 minutes of research online. I think we know that neither of those are gonna happen.

  • Jaws

    thats so not true

  • Jaws

    well maybe ;p

  • Jaws

    thats bullshit you do all the time

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Metal Gear’s legacy?

  • Jaws

    Dick and Crack

  • instant relief

    I approve this message.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You mean Daggoth “THAT guy” from two comments below?

    That looks pretty good. Unfortunately the on-going film festival here is only playing The Man From Oran. And the commercial theaters only play The Man From UNCLE.

    But do you know what you(se) should see? Victoria.

  • No, that’s Samurai Cop.

  • Glyph Wright

    Your fanboy sperging is getting ridiculous. If the game is sold as a stand-alone title marketed to those who like open-world action games with tactic espionage, t’s the game developers’ job to make sure that the game’s plot is comprehensible to both veterans of the series, and newcomers. Nobody has to watch twenty hours of crap before playing the game they bought for their mom’s hard-earned money. In fact, a game’s inability to accommodate a newcomer’s perspective is a major weakness and flaw with the writer’s work. Otherwise make TPP an expansion that requires MGS3 to play.

    As Mr. Plinkett said, don’t tell me that the prequel trilogy’s plot points are explained in comic books, cartoons and novels. Nobody cares about any of that crap. Make your installment coherent in and of itself.

  • $86/HOURLY
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    19952 Dollars monthly,I’m finally getting 100 Dollars an
    hour
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    111

  • instant relief

    Just wasted an hour on 9gag. Didn’t find any porn. Disappoint!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Knick and Knack..gorgnock

  • Red Skeleton

    pretty good month for updates. good job rlm. now you just need to make a 2015 movie round up (coughStrangeMagiccough) and i’ll be happy.

  • Earth

    There were interesting NPCs in Skyrim?

  • Jeff Parsons

    Fire Jack.

    Couldn’t identify with the main character, but strongly identified with a mute female wearing a bikini. So much so that he took offense to the sexualization.

    Fire Jack.

    He is a poison. He is spreading the SJW mentality. Thank you Rich for taking his stupid moral preening down a peg. But he’s a poison on all your shows. He’s not funny enough for the sheer dead weight that he brings to everything with which he’s involved. Just fire him.

  • It’s a mod that adds such.

  • instant relief

    Don’t forget to be cool about fire safety tho.

  • Red Skeleton

    I don’t know how well this sort of thing will go down here but I’m a huge fan of YTP and remixing in general.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgoC9ocahYM

    Might be too weird for some people.. Also might be OLD.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I don’t think he’s on a payroll.

    Didn’t you use to be Atheist Conservative?

  • Red Skeleton

    I don’t have credits, I have Republic Dataries.
    Republic Credits?
    RE-PUB-LIC DA-TA-RIES.
    Credits are no good. I need something more real.

  • Bubs

    What do you like about this? I got bored after 30 seconds. Not judging you, just curious.

  • Red Skeleton

    Uh, I just said what I like about it. And posted an example. What do you want me to do, write a thesis on it?

  • Earth

    This explains a lot of Qui Gon’s actions at least.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I like when they do something clever with the dialogue or something. But the oh-so-random edits and ear-raping is really off-putting to me.

  • Red Skeleton

    According to wookiepedia Credits ARE Dataries. Glad RLM aren’t the only people who interpret Qui-Gon as a complete moron.

  • I find some funny but mostly when they splice the dialogue. I’m not a fan of weird rewind>fast forward>rinse repeat skits.

  • Bubs

    ????????? You did? Where? At first I thought you had edited your post with an explanation, but I refreshed the page and it’s the same. Am I missing something?

    Is your explanation that you like it because you like remixing? I’m legitimately confused.

    So I guess yes, I require a thesis.

  • Red Skeleton

    Yeah, it’s not for everyone. This is actually a pretty good example of the craft. The “random” edits kind of keep the flow moving. But yeah the best parts are the dialogue mixing.

  • Red Skeleton

    Yes. Yes. And yes.

    Ok…. lol, lessie.

  • Earth

    Kinda wish the whole video was just Qui Gon’s dialogue mixing. Then the video really could be called Qui Gon Booze.

  • Why look for porn on a snuff site?

  • Red Skeleton

    Uh, YTPs, or Youtube Poops (I didn’t come up with the name, lol) are basically the remixing of various source materials. They have their own sort of aesthetic to them. It’s not that I’m busting a gut laughing at every little random edit, it’s the flow or energy that they sort of build up.

  • Red Skeleton

    They’re basically exercises in maniacal reediting.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    This was pretty light on the randomness compared to some I’ve seen. And I had a few good laughs.

  • Red Skeleton

    As I’ve said before this is a good example of the craft. I’ve seen A LOT of shit ones where people seem to think random = funny. It’s not. It’s all about timing and flow.

  • Red Skeleton

    Tropes include A) dialogue remixing, B) Creating “Music” out of things that aren’t inherently musical. C) Creating nonsense out of sensible dialogue.

  • Bubs

    Thanks. That was informative and insightful. However, I must completely disagree with you. I found it nonsensical and believe the term “Youtube Poop” is completely appropriate.

    It reminded me of a modern art painting by someone like Andy Warhol. A low-rent version of people pondering over something nonsensical and calling it art. “Well.. it’s different, and so… avante garde… it must be amazing. 35 million, you say? What a steal!” I shit better than any Warhol painting. And Youtube poops better than that video.

    Again, not judging. Just my opinion.

  • Red Skeleton

    I mean I can’t really force you to see what I like about YTPs except to say that I do and that there is an art to them, such as it is.

  • Red Skeleton

    Well I feel judged. Your opinion sucks. And you’re wrong! WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-WRO-ONGGNO-ONGGNO-ONGGNO-ONGGNO-ONGGNO-ONGGNO-ONGGNO-ONGGNO-RW-RW-RW-RW-RW-RW-RW-WRRRRRRRRRRRONG!!!!!

  • Bubs

    I’m sorry you feel that way. Please accept this picture of a cute puppy as an apology.

    http://spenglercounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Cute-puppy.jpg

  • Red Skeleton

    Only a few? Damn. I busted a gut at this one. It’s been years since I watched any new ones too.

  • Red Skeleton

    :3

  • Earth

    Oh right, looked at site now. These people seem pretty cool.

  • Earth

    “He is a poison. He is spreading the SJW mentality”

    lol

  • Jaws

    maybe he changed his name to Jeff cause he went back to live at home

  • Red Skeleton

    By the way I haven’t actually watched this review because I have a strong feelign that it’s just going to piss me off much in the same way their uninformed review of Sonic the Hedgehog pissed me off.

    Prediction: They whine because the game’s too hard or too annoying because they don’t realize they’re supposed to hide from guards instead of just running around shooting them.

    Am I correct?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Okay, maybe four. I don’t tend to laugh out loud(lol) by myself a lot unless something is really funny and I just can’t help it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    no it was because it was boring and had bewbs.

  • Jaws

    half way through the review they strip down and make out, so didnt expect that, and then rich went into a 45 minute tirade about JFK

  • Earth

    Actually, they had fun with the gameplay. They didn’t care for the story and characters and felt it was tonally inconsistent.

  • Earth

    Thanks for telling me about these guys. They seem pretty cool. Like their voice acting as well. Wish they did more Fallout stuff though. Can’t help feeling that Skyrim is a waste of their talents.

    (So many modded character’s voices are horrible because Mr Modding I’m So Cool 20 year old Jackass thinks his voice is awesome).

  • Red Skeleton

    The Queen sucks my cock. *leans in creepily* You should too.

  • Red Skeleton

    That’s refreshing. Lol, a MGS story? Boring? Who would have thought! Naw, they’re not boring so much as they are long-winded and self-indulgent.

  • instant relief

    They got snuff? Why didn’t you tell me while my Viagra was still working?

  • Earth

    Kinda looked like Manga from what I can tell. Strange mix of fantasy and reality.

    (Never played MGS)

  • instant relief

    The boobs were covered with blood tho. Even my Viagra doesn’t stand a chance against that. Get it? STANDS? BECUZ I HAD A BONER!!!

  • Red Skeleton

    Otacon says it best in MGS1
    “This is like something out of one of my Japaense Animes!”

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh, I thought you were making a reference to Ray Stantz there. I get it now, lol!!

  • Amontillado

    They beat an actual dead horse, mercilessly, with a tire iron before lighting candles and worshiping Satan inside a pentagram made with the blood of the innocent. They then proceeded to do a four way around the world with Mike and Jay before dousing themselves in gasoline, lighting themselves on fire, and screaming some nonsense about Valhalla before charging out of the studio and falling down in the street from asphyxiation. They then left their bodies behind and their souls ascended into the afterlife, where they now broadcast PreRec and HiTB from the right hand of God. That answer your question?

  • Amontillado

    “Something’s fucky,” http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/fcky.gif

    Bubbles le Grand of Eden-on-Thames, 1753

  • Hey, has anyone had luck identifying the Kodak Printer Challenge song or maybe know of a good replacement for it? I need it for a corporate video parody.

  • Amontillado

    It really is. Not a shit ton of jump scares or crap your pants scary moments, but a build up of dread – real horror at the idea of identity and how you define yourself through identity.

  • Red Skeleton

    Any luck, like is this something we’ve been working on? In any event I’m fairly certain a lot of the plinkett / rlm music is taken from a public domain source because I keep hearing so much of it in other places.

  • Amontillado

    Fuck that noise, use the Top Gun theme and I’m not talking, “Danger Zone:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOLgGA-Yqc8

  • The problem is it needs to be royalty free. The video is supposed to go up on the internet without getting muted.

  • tOmy`

    #Pre-RecGate #ClothesForQuiet #Mario

  • Maybe. It’s nearly impossible to find. All of the other RLM songs have been identified already.

  • Red Skeleton

    I bet it comes from the same sources as the Plinkett list music e.g. Marty McFly, Sarah Conner, and Kevin Bacon). Since that one also seems to defy identification.

  • Amontillado

    I thought this was AMERICA!

  • tOmy`

    But this time… on the baaaaaaatleshiiii- oh, we done that already? Mkay.

    But this time… at the Russian aaaaaaaaairpo- oh, we done that as well? Jesus Christ, one would think that we won’t run out of creative ideas for these games.

    *laugh track*

    Maybe we should stop making them?

    *laugh track*

    Fuck it, tell the art department to slap some sunlight on one of them “vacation-y” buildings from Europe, we gonna call it Italy or something.

  • Amontillado
  • Amontillado
  • tOmy`

    In a nutshell:

    1) We have no clue what is happening
    2) Box falling on a horse
    3) Bewbs
    4) Mario
    5) We have no clue what happened

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You forgot box falling on a horse.

  • Amontillado

    We need a game where you rub cat food on your face and you have all the kitties lick it off: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41ZEanjORQI

  • Red Skeleton

    Still better than GameStation 2.0

  • TapewormBike

    You’re all disgusting fanboys. Like, I wanna puke when I see you.

    That’s a good thing btw.

  • Bubs

    This is a pretty good facsimile, in my opinion.

    http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100842

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I always wanted to know…
    HOW THE LIVING FUCK DOES A TAPEWORM RIDE A BIKE!?
    Just a passing curiosity, there is no obligation to reply.

  • TapewormBike

    Well, it has a special design. I dunno #whatsajoke

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    In a few years when the 12 year old boys playing this now grow up….
    Well lets just say, they are going to buy a lot of red Edible Body Paint.

  • Thanks, Bubs! This is great terrible!

  • The joke is that he’s actually a bee car.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Q: How does a tapeworm ride a bike?
    A: One pedal at a time.
    A: It crawls up a hipsters arse and waits for its host to buy a fixed wheel bike.
    A: It kills a family of five and steals thier kids bikes.
    A: it dosent… are you stupid?
    A: Both.
    Pick one.

  • And since I just came out that I sexually identify as a car. We should GET IT ON. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKPoHgKcqag

  • Amontillado

    Indeed, Game Station 2.0 being a, “New Hope,” to PreRec’s, “The Empire Strikes Back.”

  • Amontillado

    Good, good more fuel for my vomit erotic novel about the Commentariot.

  • TapewormBike

    The Google Doodle seriously made me feel good today.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    MMMMM Salty.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    # Yes. This.

  • TapewormBike

    You know who I like? Anita Sarkeesian.

    Especially her solo albums.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    as someone who often goes to far, can i say…
    be cautious.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the game itself is good a PreRec episode is gonna be abysmal.

    “this is boring is this how every horror game is and why they suck in general?
    pacing is too slow for ADD moby
    too many cutscenes
    not enough mario-like gameplay”
    etc.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Isn’t she that celebrity porn star? You know, she’s part of that crazy family… They even have a reality show, I think it was called “Keeping Up With The Sarkeesians”.

  • TapewormBike

    Nah

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’ll like her once GG drama fades out and she’ll be reduced to cleaning streets or working in a Mcdonalds because that’s what you get with a women studies diploma.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats fair… can i offer you a drink?

  • TapewormBike

    Is that what you call a bottle in Australia? Because that’s what I’d appreciate now.

  • TapewormBike

    So many shots

  • That or an HR position.

  • Glyph Wright

    First of all, it has jump-cares and they’re awful. Second, it pontificates on teh deep (c) issues without really providing any real insight or answer. Third, it barely has any gameplay, and what little it has is really awkward.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • instant relief

    Filtered with cum?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    if you want….

  • instant relief

    Bloody period films.

  • instant relief

    You’re quite the connoiseur, mister!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You must mean the cum… because Bundaberg Rum is the most bogan thing after flanel and thongs.

    https://youtu.be/zHmw0u2G9kw

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Hey, retro posting because you will get this in real time but most people wont ever see it. You OK?

  • Strelnikov

    So we have a mute stripper sniper in this game.

    Fascinating…..

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I want to make an Action Movie.
    ‘Human Resource Manager.”
    Just so i can make the sequels
    ‘HRM2: This Time its Personnel.’
    And ‘HMR3: The Final Audit.’

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It took him 8 minutes longer(alongside doing actual resarch on the subject matter and actual knowledge/passion of gaming industry in general)but here’s how a real in depth review of a game like this looks like:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO4Tusk_V2k

    (this one is for you PreRec apologists. see the light at the end of the tunnel please)

  • TapewormBike

    Nope. Yesterday a dog that I loved and failed to go visit for a year died, because her liver just stopped and today I found out that my gf has some serious problems and will have to go into hospital soon. I am sitting here, “working” and I might seriously go crazy within few hours.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • dollar store cashier wife

    really? I remember seeing them discuss feedback they got on Alien Isolation vid in a PreRec stream and all it was basically this:

    “insert a perfectly reasonable comment/critique from the comments”
    “jack and rich: yeah well it’s just our opinion(which is always 100% right anyways) so suck it you dumb nerds”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    As someone who cant give you a hug because of Geography. i send virtual love.
    Remember people on other continents love you.
    if you want to go deep. i made a place to say things i want said but dont want here.
    https://disqus.com/home/channel/apscorp/

  • TapewormBike

    Thanks man. It’s OK. I mean, it isn’t, but fucking life is what it is. You just never expect shit to pile up this high this quickly. I probably should stay away from here for a bit, since I am obviously radiating weird vibes.

    Weirder than usual that is.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “We’re home Chewie”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Your not being weird. I just could tell. Lets just say It takes one to know one.

  • instant relief

    I’m so sorry, master!

  • instant relief

    “I’d just as soon kiss a Wookiee.”

  • Bubs

    FUCK OFF WITH YOUR COMPETENT GAME REVIEWS.
    Only unqualified unresearched hipster opinions are allowed here.

  • instant relief

    SBH is an awesome channel.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m off to watch more ‘Mr Robot’
    but i’m watching all of you!

  • Bubs

    Seriously though, I watched 1 minute and 42 seconds and learned about 8 more facts and/or useful tidbits of information than I did watching all of Pre-Recorded. In the words of Jim Lahey, this show is the “bottom of the shit-barrel”.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    http://edition.cnn.com/2015/09/29/entertainment/paul-walker-lawsuit/index.html

    Any furious comments on this fast piece of news Tomy?

  • instant relief

    SBH always gives great insights into all topics. That’s why I watch all of his videos even if I don’t care about some of the games, like MGS for example.

  • Bubs

    I’m not going to watch this one because I haven’t played MGSV yet. It’s in my backlog, behind Witcher 3 and Final Fantasy XIII-2 Part 1: chapter 4.

  • instant relief

    Wow, that’s a lot of stuff you got ahead. Hope it doesn’t conflict with your masturbation schedule.

  • “She filed her lawsuit and then got in her new sweet Ferrari”.
    People will sue for anything these days. As in they don’t understand that… you know… we’re not infallible and accidents happen. We’re obsessed with control.

  • Bubs

    I ride my Sybian while I play games so I can do both at once.

  • TapewormBike

    Shit, it was almost 2 years ago?!

  • Bubs

    If she loses that lawsuit, she can always sue cliffs next. And if that doesn’t work out, she can sue trees. Those motherfuckers are just made of money. And it grows on them!

  • Man, time flies. Really fast.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Way to try and profit of your dear dad. I bet she has some huge gambling debts or something.

    If I ride my bike into a tree, can I sue the manufacturer because I didn’t bother to put breaks on the bike?

  • Amontillado

    Yes, but isn’t the strength of an episode based on how miserable Jack and Rich are while playing? Order 1886 is still one of their best, only because they were absolutely miserable playing it and it made us laugh. Even Jack has commented that during the streams, the best moments are when he is failing or screwing up. It is fodder for our laughter. And Alien:Isolation? Why not have them get mad at the game pontificating on the meaning of death in the most turgid, pedantic way possible? With a wonderfully miserable ending. Oh it would be soooooo delicious.

  • Amontillado

    It kinda had jump scares, but more so it would set up a scene or an area for a jump scare and then nothing. So much so that after awhile it felt like a build up to a prank that never happen. And true dat to your second point, but in that light it wasn’t such a horror game as it was a dark comedy, with the comedy coming from them getting too far up their own bum and the darkness just adding to the goofiness. I hope you, as I did, bursted out laughing from time to time at it all. Bioshock it ain’t!

  • Amontillado

    BTW, +1 for grumpy cat, cutest cat of dem all!

  • Amontillado

    Damnit Bubs, I’m running out of material!

    Actually, I want to keep as much to quotes and gifs as possible before resorting to video links.

  • Amontillado
  • Palpatine

    If Rich and Jack want more people to like Pre-Rec, then they should review games that are more in their comfort zone.

  • yonderTheGreat

    Oh you mean like Rocket League or Batman or Shovel Knight or……

    What you mean is you don’t want awesome criticism about games you have developed Stockholm Syndrome for.

  • yonderTheGreat

    I’m with you, Rich Evans, and not just because of your T&A or sex appeal.

    Hideo’s writing is the worst AAA in the industry.

  • Palpatine

    I don’t play games, and I don’t mind criticism of the games. I’m just think that Rich and Jack should review less mainstream games in order to satisfy people who don’t like Pre-Rec, and save Rich and Jack from being hated on as well.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Sorry Palpy but you’re one of those people who completely don’t get it. It’s not a matter of what is being reviewed but rather how it’s being reviewed. The show is not gonna improve because Jack and Rich do not want to improve(despite the fact their have jack shit to offer insight wise)

  • Jaws

    the a camera b camera set up doesn’t help, because it seems to zap their presence, a set camera showing both in the same shot might give the proceedings some more energy. faster edits with more in game footage, less time spent just flicking between two ppl and more stuff happening and ppl might not focus irritation about the content or opinions in it,

  • Jaws

    this pretty much

  • Jaws

    theres no excitement they arent doing anything but sit there and make forced jokes NOBODY can take that lol

  • Palpatine

    What should they improve then?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Canceling the show would be the best improvement.

    …oh wait you’re being serious? wow where to start. doing actual resarch on subject matter,learning about industry practices and tech. behind games that directly influence games features as to stop making shallow assumptions,not bringing in your biases,niche preferences,hyperboles and generalisations and trying to twist them into legit arguments,not being so smug when you’re not saying anything worthwhile with each episode of this shite.What else…oh yeah Jack could hire a ghost editor because his style sucks out already extremely tiny amount of humor this show has going for it(not to mention killing the pacing with endless filler).

  • Palpatine

    Wow.

  • Arnold Schwarzenegger? More like Schwarze Arnoldnegger!

    #thatsthejoke

  • dollar store cashier wife

    yeah sorry but I’m not gonna be a fanboy and pretend everything RLM puts out is wonderful. Jay and Mike set out a higher standard for reviews and this show gotta strive for that at least in some way.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    So in other words you want it to be like every other review show. Sucking up to titles because they are “AAA”. Fuck that. I like Pre-Rec for what it is. Why don’t you start your own blog or internet review show. You wannabe troll who pretends to be a RLM fan. Fuck off..

  • They should throw in some Lucas magic in there. The sitting and talking is fine. But walking and talking is better. The occasional walk, stop, shot, reverse shot and rolling around in a green field would improve the show alot. They should also add a lovable wacky character with a long neck, googly eyes and funny voice. WHAT A HIT IT COULD BE!!!!

  • TapewormBike

    Dude’s taking selfies all over Prague right now.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Is he there to annex it? Should we warn t0my?

  • Is he there for the annual October”leder-hosen, wiener-schnitlzel, nazi-elf”fest?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Still think each on their own show would be better so they could stay focused (my “Dick Moves” and “Jac Man” proposal from earlier). That or, again, add a character only they can see & hear, vodou torture bad game designers, add a quirky rating system, change the timeline, get drunk, kiss, or all of the above.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ah yes ladies and gents we found the fanboy drone. Dislike one show from dozens of projects RLM has done-“hurr durr you’re a troll” Plently of people dislike PreRec and unsurpringsly enough they’re far more articulate and reasonable in their dislike then you and you’re blind admiration. being a shallow hipster=/=I am smarter then eveyone else.

  • Palpatine

    Ha ha ha ha! Oh, I didn’t laugh at your joke, I just thought of a joke I heard earlier.

  • Howw wude!

  • tOmy`

    It does sound like reviewers cut the game some slack for the story just because it looks amazing and, apparently, plays amazing.

    And I think I am ok with that.

  • Palpatine

    I don’t think Pre-Rec is bad at all, I just think it needs a little improvement.

  • Better hosts?

  • Palpatine

    Yousa gunna piunish me now?

  • tOmy`

    I think that dscw never said that the rating or recommendation of the game is the problem. We actually repeated that many times during these past two days.

    It is the review, presentation, conclusions, comparisons and reasoning done within the review.

    I was expecting at least one of them hating the game (I even called it just as the video went online) and I was looking forward to see their reason why.

    The problem is that the reasons are rather retarded.

  • tOmy`

    Hosts are not the problem, the choice of their games is.

  • tOmy`

    Let him annex Prague, eastern Czech Republic already gave up on that place anyway.

  • Earth

    I wish they would just talk about games they like. Their criticisms of games they don’t like are always questionable, and rather inconsistent (“Sonic sucks because it’s not Mario” isn’t a real criticism guys).

  • tOmy`

    I would also love to stop hearing about the fucking Mario game. Like… honestly. I already said it here once, so sorry for repeating myself, but constantly reaching for my favorite game (that is as complex as… well, Mario) works only when you are talking about… well, Mario and Mario clones.

    Look, here is my review of Mario: I can move only on one axis. Half Life 1 was 3D. Mario is a poor FPS game as it won’t even beat Half Life 1. But then you have X-Wing Alliance. You can move even more freely because you are in space. So it is a better FPS than Half Life 1 and Mario.

  • Earth

    Yeah comparing MGS to Mario made very little sense.

    (By the way Jack, Rayman Origins and Legends are better side scrollers than Mario has ever been. There I said it).

  • I must be seeing things. http://i.imgur.com/zhCGRaM.gifv

  • dollar store cashier wife

    yOu’re a jUst dumb haterr boii. butthurt ur favorite game got shat on? durr hurr hurr

  • tOmy`

    ATLEAST I DIDNT SUCK UP TO SPEC OPS: THE BORE!!!!!

    Heh, actually, the more I think about the game the more I like it. Odd.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You liked an AAA game? Like all those shitty wortheless other game review shows? You should consider suicide because you’ll never reach such enlightenment PreRec and it’s cult offers…

  • TapewormBike

    No, he’s Austrian, dummie. Wait….

  • ImAFckingDragn

    To be fair, Metal Gear Solid has been tone deaf for a while. The series is basically Lost with anime spies.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Oh, phew, I love them little koalas.

  • TapewormBike

    Not a bad hyperbolic comparison, it could use more sexism.

    7/10 out of even bigger 10

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of sucking up to AAA titles: I already “invested” about 4 hours to Sunless Sea. It is faaaar from enough to even give you some kind of review, but I think I can already recommend it at least for its unique style, language and difficulty.

    It’s not without its problems, but so far I haven’t noticed anything fun-shattering.

    I actually like it so much that I put my Morrowind playthrough on hold! And that is pretty sick considering I even wrote down what I plan on achieving this time around.

  • TapewormBike

    You said you wanted those people to write books and I get that, but I honestly think, be that good or bad, that we are now so accustomed to reading in short bursts interspersed with other activites, that this is like the perfect vehicle for more complex fiction

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m willing to give it a shot just because there are so few good games involving Cthulhu.

  • TapewormBike

    Also books, movies, board games, T-shirts…

  • tOmy`

    Yep. Fair to say: If you don’t like reading, avoid this game. Reading is pretty much 50% of the game. You can basically skip it, but it makes it harder to play and even harder co comprehend.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’d shell out some cash for Cthullu reskin of Monopoly.

  • tOmy`

    My sex life…

  • TapewormBike

    And enjoy, from what I can gather. Fallen London was a constant stream of world building and I liked it for what it was.

  • Jaws

    so basically it is a matter of how much it sucks lol

  • TapewormBike

    Oh, brother, there are way too many actual Cthulhu themed board games.

  • Stallone’s Nutsack

    Can someone explain, in three paragraphs or fewer, what this franchise is about? Because I can’t get into it, and Memebase makes it look like the Hathaway Man beats up shipping crates.

  • TapewormBike

    Cosmic horror ain’t got nothin’ on that.

  • tOmy`

    It has that very distinct feeling of a game that just won’t let you stop playing that easily. Learning curve and constant thirst for bettering yourself help tremendously, as much as the RNG and randomly generated map.

  • ImAFckingDragn

    Eh, the show’s been getting better. And while some of their “reviews” are based more off bias, personal preference, and nostalgia than measurable game assets or shortcomings, I love the energy and personality that Rich and Jack bring to the episodes. Someone more versed in the game industry might bring a more measured approach (like Jay and Mike do with Movies), but that’s not what this show is about.

  • TapewormBike

    Mumbo jumbo spy shit, ya dig?

  • tOmy`

    Self-aware spy game with indulgent writing that is praised for its unique style, themes and story-telling, while often sliding into silly and fantastic settings.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You’re that Ninja?

  • tOmy`

    Well, at least noone took an arrow to the cake this time around.

    We honestly don’t need anymore of that.

  • tOmy`

    #Pre-Rekt, amirite, guys?

  • Palpatine

    It’s about a guy who does things.

  • tOmy`

    And a woman who would love to do more than that.

  • Jaws

    pre rec sucks and blows at the same time which is actually quite hard to do so it gets a half a star for that

  • instant relief

    That’s why it’s called a blow job.

  • TapewormBike

    Fuck it, favourite MGS moment? I am seriously biased towards Sons of Liberty, so the presidential crotch grab or the bro secret handshake between Otacon and Snake.

    You want some fries with that tasty cheese, Hideo?

  • tOmy`

    As a person who never played it, I have to go with the more “obvious” choices:

    1) Psycho Mantis in MGS 1
    2) MGS 2 Tanker Intro
    3) This comment section
    4) Sniper dying from old age / walk of ghosts / the white flowers turning red

  • TapewormBike

    And this cover of the theme song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD8HuIxber0

  • TapewormBike

    Some people manage to have blow careers.

  • instant relief

    I have a blow life.

  • Jaws

    blowjobs are good though arent they ;p

  • instant relief

    Generally yes, but Jack and Rich suck at them. GET IT? CUZ my comments jumped the sharked the day I signed up on disqus. https://twitter.com/citycyclops/status/648889757141852160

  • Jaws Who Lives at Home

    star trek next gen sucks too ;p

  • instant relief

    Oh, fuck off, you asshat! <3

  • Jaws Who Lives at Home

    Spock rules Data drools

  • instant relief

    TNG is my favourite ST series, whilst the motion pictures featuring the original crew far surpass the TNG ones.

  • Jaws Who Lives at Home

    ah agreed TNG movies are not good, at all.

  • instant relief

    I rewatched them very recently and while they were not as bad as I remembered them I sure was glad when they were finally over.

    Stupid Nemesis almost killed the entire franchise.

  • Jaws Who Lives at Home

    Insurrection is at least funny bad.

  • instant relief

    “Saddle up! Lock and load!”

  • Jaws Who Lives at Home

    best sci fi movie of all time? answer short circuit 2

  • instant relief

    De la Terre à la Lune?

  • TapewormBike

    No Steve Guttenberg, so, like, no.

  • Jaws Who Lives at Home

    johnny 5 is alive

  • Jaws Who Lives at Home

    probably more plausible than the real thing though

  • TapewormBike

    And another question. While we’re on spies with tonal issues is there a good 007 game, that is not Goldeneye? I vividly remember finishing the PS1 Tommorow Never Diies tie-in and realizing even then, how futile my existence is.

  • JackFrost23

    They weren’t comparing Mario and MGSV. Jack claimed the game was repetitive (it is) and Rich decided to call his bluff by pointing out that Super Mario Brothers is also repetitive.

    They weren’t saying the games had any similarities or one sucked because it wasn’t the other.

  • Red Skeleton

    Biased TOWARD MGS2? Wow. I mean it had some good moments but not really enough to make up for the clusterfuck of nonsense that it was. VS 22 Rays would be mine from that game…

  • TapewormBike

    You know how you like the person that molested you when you were a teen? MGS2, man.

  • Stallone’s Nutsack

    Not answerable. But if you can actually watch the movie Goldeneye past Famke Janssen’s horrible accent, you get 100,000 RP on the upcoming game by EA. It’s called Goldfinger: The DLC Never Dies

  • Stallone’s Nutsack

    I had a girlfriend who said there were only two guys named Snake I should trust: a drug dealer, and Kurt Russell. I swear she cheated on me with him at that one clambake. But I digress. Isn’t this Snake a little uh derivative?

  • Stallone’s Nutsack

    Speaking of atrocities, I hear Oliver Stone is working on a prequel to his blockbuster all-time classic Oscar-winning hit Platoon.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    I think you may have gone too far in a few places.

  • Jaws Who Lives at Home

    apparently theres a lot of shaky cam, because charlie sheen is behind the camera

  • Stallone’s Nutsack

    Actually, I know a PD who works with them, and they say it’s probably Emilio. It’s going to be like FMJ meets Apocalypse Now meets Found Footage. The pitch looks tight.

  • Daggoth

    1.) Hideo Kojima doesn’t care about respecting his fans. He never did from the start. If you actually knew what you were talking about you’d have figured that out back in 2001 with Raiden. Why are you so late to the party?

    2.) He doesn’t have to care. He’s been backed by Konami for decades. Because they are — his — games (He writes, produces and directs nearly every single one). And even though he doesn’t care, people keep buying and playing them.

    3.) The Metal Gear cannon is a HUGE interlocking storyline spanning Metal Gear 1; Metal Gear 2; Metal Gear Solid; Metal Gear Solid 2; Metal Gear Solid 3; Peace Walker; Portable Ops; Metal Gear Solid 4 and finally Metal Gear Solid 5. If you got into MGSV and you don’t even know who Ocelot or Cypher is — or even what a fucking Metal Gear is, FOXHOUND, or what Outer Heaven meant to the characters — then there is truly no hope for you to understand this game. You are lost.

    ** If you think Hideo owes you something, do yourself a favor: don’t even TRY to pick up MGS4. Your brain would melt into Swiss cheese. **

    Hell, don’t even bother watching any story series at all. You’d probably be that person who’s never seen Star Wars before, picked up Return of the Jedi and ended up scratching your head wondering why that guy in the funky black helmet is so broke up over some stupid farm kid.

  • Stallone’s Nutsack

    They’re codenaming it “Project Ron.” After Ron Kovic, no doubt.

  • Amontillado

    If you can make it through any Bond film that is not From Russia with Love, or Quantum of Solace; then may God have mercy on your soul.

  • Stallone’s Nutsack

    The Apprentice News: According to a poll of super-nerds, the winningest “you’re fired” slogan for Arnold is “You’re Terminated.” Unfortunately those two words are blocked for commercial use in perpetuity by Jim Cameron.

  • Amontillado

    When Harry Met Sally? It’s science fiction to believe that Meg Ryan would go out with Billy Crystal IRL.

  • Ubik

    I have seen their review on Alien: Isolation, they disliked it. SOMA is in some way similar but IMO much better game.

  • Daggoth

    I NEED SCISSORS! 61!

  • Stallone’s Nutsack

    In a surrey with a fringe on top

  • Amontillado

    If you loved me words wouldn’t come in an easy waaaaay…

  • Red Skeleton

    So this game is to you what Otacon’s step mom was to him?

  • Stallone’s Nutsack

    I think my soul threw up a little when I saw Grace Jones in A View to a Kill.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    But it was all made better when she whispered in your ear in the Wookiee masturbation machine.

  • Amontillado

    But was it?!?!?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *Palpy voice*WHAAAATT?*Palpy voice*

    Guano of Solace? You go’a be ki’n me!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Says the commenter who hasn’t seen Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2.

  • Jaws Who Lives at Home

    seen it? i wrote it ;p

  • I had a love-hate relationship with that game. The first line Raiden says is: Did you say NERD? Fuck you, Raiden, you got what you deserved – electric shock in the balls.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The moment he says “I’ll be back…after these commercial messages” the multiverse will collapse in on itself and we’ll be left in nothingness. Sweet, sweet nothingness.

  • bassbait

    Agent Under Fire and Nightfire are both decent. They’re basically Goldeneye with better controls and graphics though.

  • bassbait

    I’m scripting a pseudo-intellectual evaluation of the purpose of violence in gaming, and how different games utilize violence as a gameplay mechanic, for different effects.

    Spec Ops may be mentioned.

  • instant relief

    Never seen it tbh. Was just pretending to be an all knowing movie snob.

  • instant relief

    Yes, honey?

  • RLMkeepitup

    yep that’s exactly what they do, guess I made it sound more than it was.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Had to pee so I sat down and scrolled through these comments quickly, turns out there were just way too many to get through, and now I’m really pissed.

  • tOmy`

    So… is there an underwater level?

  • Domo

    There is an underwater level, but you can shoot fire balls at your enemies. Makes perfect sense.

  • Stallone’s Nutsack

    So there’s free-flowing water on Mars. That means Bodhi could be there.

    That means I should be there. ~ Johnny Utah

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So I just played Destiny…what was the orb thing? *cue synth music*

  • Earth

    I guess the complaint here is that they can’t seem to get through a single review without mentioning Mario. Don’t trust me on that though. I’m too lazy to check.

  • Earth

    There’s a serious lack of Lovecraft content in this world, let alone video games.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I’m not a fanboy drone. I like Pre-Rec and how they talk about games.
    My reply was glossed by my just waking up with a super hangover. Your behavior is trollish however, sorry I call it like I see it.
    Metal Gear Solid V is a juvenile piece of crap and I’m sticking to my opinion.
    I understand you points and they are valid. I’m really just unaffected by Rich and Jacks omissions and casual approach to talking about games. Other reviewers besides angry videogame nerd are boring and I do read them when I’m looking to spend money on a game. Rich and Jack really help when I’m planning on buying a game, they let me know how the game is and a lot of the time they save me money

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I understand. You guys have valid points

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    The …I forgot what its called

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    It’s called the Tower..

  • Amontillado

    Hey, hey first time in a Bond film that James Bond didn’t immediately forget whoever he was with in the last film and is on a revenge rampage for his dead ex gf. Kudos and a non ludicrous plot that dealt with holding a hostage a country’s water supply by owning the rights to the water by a private company.

    The most Bond film by having Bond not be a dumbass, horny, wasting tax payer money, not finishing the job, super lame ass spy. Roger Moore my eye.

  • Amontillado

    But…that would be a waste of time: http://giphy.com/gifs/break-point-ulvR63po0dMJ2

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Was the orb thing made by people? How come it’s alive? How did end it up on Mars?

  • Palpatine

    What was the black goo?

  • Captain Turbo

    I am Groot

  • Captain Turbo

    I hope he calls George Lucas to ask for tips on how to do a prequel right.

  • Captain Turbo

    Snake Russell? Doesn’t really roll off the tongue, does it.

  • Captain Turbo

    The correct answer is Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone

  • Bubs

    What a plot hole!

  • Captain Turbo

    So just to be clear, were you sitting down and peeing while scrolling?

  • Bubs
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well I’m done with YMS. I feel like he should stop watching movies and sucking Charlie Kaufman’s dick.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Not sure, I just started playing it and there is zero explanation on how to play the game or what is going on, which leads me to believe the writing is so-so

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Ok, I have a dilemma I have $20.00 I’m squeezing for some games.
    My choices are:
    Fallout New Vegas for the 360
    Wolfenstein the Old Blood for the Xbox One
    Both Batman Arkham Asylum and Arkham city for the Xbox 360
    what the fuck should I do?

  • Palpatine

    I thought he liked to suck on Cool Cat’s dick.

  • Palpatine

    The two Batman games. Why, because it’s fucking Batman that’s why!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Of course. The thing is I have them on STEAM already.

  • Palpatine

    What do the voices in your head tell you?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well, I’m leaning toward New Vegas

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Game squeezer!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What the Exo’s? Did the aliens make them? Did we make them? Are they themselves aliens?

  • Jaws Who Lives at Home

    Jizz

  • Jaws Who Lives at Home

    bury her under the floorboards palpy, no one will know

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Again. I don’t know..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    The voices told me to get the Batman games. both games for $20.00 is a good deal, also I haven’t finished them and I’ll collect some achievement points from them too….. m/

  • bassbait

    20 dollars can get you 4 copies of Superman 64.

  • Jaws Who Lives at Home

    in other words, why, because Batman is a gay icon that’s why. Batasses, oh yeah baby.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why was Peter Dinklage drunk when he did his voice over?

  • New Vegas!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well, I do know he was replaced by another actor. So later Dinklage. Guess he can put down the booze…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    How come that asshole in the city doesn’t explain what the Traveller is or what happened to it?

  • Bubs

    Get a PC.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *What does your heart tell you?

  • instant relief

    Buy Cities Skylines.*

    *for the PC

  • WrongWithYourFace

    So that Nolan North could replace him.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    …On Mars?

  • It might not be the same without mod support.

  • Aparently, he didn’t do a better job than Dinklage.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    New Vegas. New Vegas all day. Asylum is okay.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I don’t like sand. It’s coarse, rough, and irritating…Also, New Vegas is really good.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    That only through the elimination of violence, can we achieve world peace.

  • Truer words have never been said.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    360 version is still pretty alright. PC would be better. He fucked up and bought 2 Batman games though, because deep down…he loves Zack Synder. 🙁

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    C.S.B.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I like shooting nazis.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)
  • WrongWithYourFace

    I just checked for some comparisons… While the performance is more lively, the voice doesn’t seem to fit the tone of the game as well.

  • The sheeple vs Jorge Lucas gets a part two… http://www.ew.com/article/2014/06/17/star-wars-george-lucas-doc-people

  • Jaws

    still, a better title might be, the people vs captain phasma

  • My last pay check was $8626
    working 10 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 17k for
    months now and she works about 19 hours a week.
    I can’t
    believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do…

    http://g0000000000000gle360.blogspot.com/

    131

  • My last pay check was $8626
    working 10 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 17k for
    months now and she works about 19 hours a week.
    I can’t
    believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do…

    http://g0000000000000gle360.blogspot.com/

    134

  • 42, fuck you.

  • 69, eat mine.

  • Bubs

    I love that he’s already decided the new film is bad, despite that it hasn’t come out yet. Not that he’s biased or anything. George Lucas is just too easy of a target.

    I can’t wait for his next film, “Kids With Down Syndrome Are Ugly”.

  • Earth

    Fallout. The answer is always Fallout (unless it’s Fallout 3).

  • Bubs

    Fallout 3 is a great game.
    Fallout New Vegas is a good game. It would be a great game if the late game missions hadn’t been cobbled together in an afternoon.

  • Earth

    Fallout New Vegas is a great game.
    Fallout 3 is an average game. It would be a great game if the gameplay mechanics hadn’t been cobbled together in an afternoon and the story had taken more than one afternoon to write.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Please stop talking to the spam. you’re making it come back.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was going to make a joke about your profile pic but i’m worried that Mike Smith will get Rob Wells to bash me.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats stupid. He should make a prequel about how he hated Jorge first.

  • Buk Pravon

    I still like him. 🙂

    I disagreed with him on “Boyhood”, but I share his opinion on every other movie he and I both saw so far. And he still makes me laugh by pointing some things out the way he does. 😀

    It kind of reminds me of that other guy, I used to know… Mr. Whatshisfaceagain!? :/

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Mike was right when he decided to do his reviews as Mr Plinkett, no one wants to listen to some boring arsehole whine about a movie.
    You got to jazz that shit up.

  • Bubs

    I mean,that’s a pretty good comeback, because you turned my owned words around. But mine has the benefit of being true.

  • tOmy`

    From what I’ve heard, Old Blood wasn’t that great. Especially when you compare it to Batman / Fallout – one of the most praised games of latter years.

    On the other hand, when it comes to these 3 games, new Wolf is still higher on my to-do list.

  • It’ll be here regardless of what we do.

  • That would be the logical step. But the prequel should be about why people actually liked Star Wars and George, you know, the story of Anakin before his fall. It would rhyme like poetry.

  • tOmy`

    If you gonna grind for another 87 hours, the game will unlock “What was the orb?” achievement that will allow you to pre-order early-access DLC called “We don’t even care anymore, do you?”

  • tOmy`

    He already heard about Pixels.

  • tOmy`

    I was thinking about that “That’s every game” statement made about every game doing constantly the same thing.

    I think that GTA: San Andreas is pretty much the textbook example of mission variety. I think they exhausted almost every and any possibility of the map and missions that could take place on it.

    Except BMX U-Ramp race, but then again, it’s not like you couldn’t do crazy BMX stunts anyway.

  • Buk Pravon

    Well, at least he doesn’t point a gun at the camera every few minutes like Doug Walker does. -.-

    Thats so obnoxious about him.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Talking to them or Upvoting comments to them makes them rise to the top of the commentzone.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Everything is obnoxious about him. if he died i would probably laugh.

  • What’s weird is that deleting them does so as well.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No thats Disqust flagging it to the Mods. If the randomly active mods payed attention and deleted the comments they would just go.
    maybe if people posted Dick Pics on the spammers they would get deleted faster.

  • tOmy`

    Sigh…

    *unzips*

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    tOmy i need a favor. I’d ask Domo but she isnt here.
    go to Exiled.

  • Earth

    I know. I’ve always loved the tactic of just repeating the same thing but slightly different.

    The fact is: Fallout 3 is an average game made for mainstream audiences. Its closest equivalent in film is Star Trek ’09, to which your reply was: nuh uh, video games are different to film because shooting things is fun. Doesn’t stop Fallout 3’s combat mechanics being half-assed and it’s own developer admitting it.

    New Vegas gave us too many new and unique things to mention (to name a few: Mr House, Caesar’s Legion, Raul Tejada, Dean Domino etc etc), not to mention improving on the crummy system Bethesda built.
    Fallout 3 gave us more of what we’ve already seen. Fanservice and references to the original games built around a half-assed plot about daddy killing himself for no reason. Crummy game built around a crummy story with nothing memorable inbetween. Oh but I guess we’re all supposed to love it because they put guns in Oblivion, making them totally innovative.

  • Glowing Green Crotch

    Love the show, guys. And Rich is looking studly. Keep doing what you’re doing Rich because it’s working.
    Oh, I picked up Alien Isolation because it was on sale for $15. Played it 20 minutes and learned never to doubt you guys again.

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    Have you ever tried Fallout Tactics: BoS or Fallout: BoS?

  • Earth

    Fallout: BoS does not exist.

  • tOmy`

    Fuck Oblivion.

  • Earth

    I actually consider Oblivion a so-bad-it’s good video game. there’s so much to love in the weird, plastic-looking mess.

  • tOmy`

    As a Morrowind fanboyette, I just don’t like the dumbing down of the series. I don’t think that post-Morrowind it is all just bad games, not at all, but I wish they would retain the more “hardcore” elements of Morrowind.

    When I saw Skyrim level up / experience / skill tree system, I just went: “Yea, no.”

  • I enjoyed Tactics. Sure it wasn’t great in the story department, some designs weren’t exactly Fallout (Humvee) but it still made more sense than Fallout 3.

  • I have to, shamefully admit, I liked it until the allure came off. Then I saw it for what it was – a repetitive, generic mess. I only noticed that after I came back to the main questline. Closing those fucking gates, man. Never again.

  • Don’t be too hard on him, the Batman games are really good. I’ve always viewed them as a more ‘mature’ version of the Animated Series.

  • Earth

    That’s how I feel about Fallout 4. I’m done with the series. It was great let’s walk away.

    And I agree, Morrowind was a good game. I wish they’d built on it rather than just removed more and more elements from it.

  • As someone coming off Infinity engine RPGs I could never get past the wikipedia dialogue system. :X

  • Earth

    Bethesda tricks people (specifically the reviewers who only play it for so many hours before writing about it) by filling their games with loads of random things to do, to make sure you ignore their inane storytelling abilities.

    Then after 100 hours of gameplay, you realise you only enjoyed about 4 or 5 of those questlines (I like the Dark Brotherhood quests, Shivering Isles and Knights of the Nine in Oblivion). Other than that it’s pretty dull.

  • Earth

    Ugh, as someone who loves speech options and getting through games by talking my way through them, I hate the dumbing down of speech options (usually so we can have the oh-so important voiced protagonist).

  • Earth

    Watch out for cazadores.

    (edit: and crashes).

  • tOmy`

    Exactly.

    Well, they did try to build on it more – that’s how we got Tribunal and Bloodmoon expansions.

    And let’s be honest, even tough Bloodmoon was more than fine and just suffered from “how do we fight overpowered player’s characters”, Tribunal was a bit of a clusterfuck.

    So expanding what already was isn’t exactly the way to go – even the massive Tamriel Rebuilt fan project (I think that the current state already makes Morrowind 2 times bigger) still didn’t quite figure out what to do with difficulty.

    And thus the only proper solution is copying the system and just creating a new story – and with that comes an issue, because no matter how amazing the old system was, it is pretty freaking outdated. And when it comes to the classic “swing-and-miss” dicerolls at the start of new game, people found it frustrating even back then. And when you fix it with normal modern combat, you can just omit half of the statistics and skills, because at that moment they become useless.

  • tOmy`

    You can always just click on every shit available till you see the white text that makes a journal entry about the particular quest.

    But yea, without markers / objective descriptions etc., the wiki system (for better or worse) makes the game a bit more hardcore – I like how the characters either describe the route or flat out tell you that they are not sure, but “it is somewhere around there”. It yielded some good moments and some very frustrating moments, but when you get to the point of the game where all you have is basically a riddle and vague information, the game really shines in making player think for himself.

  • It’s not that. I like having my character speak to people instead of read a monologue. There’s a place for wit, seriousness, feelings. Otherwise the character is just an empty vessel that explores a dead world that only comes alive and dances around it when it’s around to see it.

  • Wasteland 2 got the best of both worlds (mirroring Fallout 1) – you could type in anything you wanted to know but you could also choose different dialogue options.

  • I hear the Dark Brotherhood quests are usually the best ones in TES games.

  • Earth

    To be honest, as long as the character movements were a little less clunky, I’d be happy with a game with the same system as Morrowind but with a different story.

  • Earth

    It was neat seeing that come back. I actually really liked the way New Vegas did it as well. I liked that they got rid of the % dice roll system and actually gave you different lines of dialogue and different responses to that dialogue.

    The moment I saw Fallout 4 wouldn’t have that I knew it wasn’t a game made for me.

  • Earth

    It was pretty disappointing in Skyrim, but yeah in Oblivion and Morrowind they’re pretty cool.

    Then again, everything in Skyrim was disappointing.

  • tOmy`

    Yep.

    Although… Morrowind has a massive replay value and the silliness that comes with outdated mechanics and physics is (at least for me) a massive part of the charm.

    It never seizes to amaze me when I re-enter my favorite places or just feel the tonal-shifts of different regions. Comparing that to Skyrim’s “Look! Snow. And European castles. Covered in snow.” is just laughable.

    Even after years of playing Morrowind, I am still gonna play it, because I simply never exhausted all the possibilities and outcomes, so when it comes to this particular series, they can do whatever they want as long as Morrowind works on newer systems / Windows. I’ll just keep playing that, thank you.

  • Earth

    It’s a really great game.
    What happened Bethesda? You used to be cool.

    Oh right, money.

  • Percy Gryce

    “Don’t play games.”–Rich Evans, Pre Rec, 2015.

  • tOmy`

    Morrowind doesn’t have Dark Brotherhood questline – they only appear in the game (and with Tribunal exp., they become a part of the story).

    Morrowind has their own assassin guild that you only hear about it and see their buildings, but joining it is one of the “secrets” of Morrowind. There is only one person who can sign you up and he is one of the “frustratingly secretive” parts of Morrowind. Their final quests are actually aimed at killing Dark Brotherhood agents.

    It also one of the notorious “close to impossible to finish” quest lines, because for total completion, you need to kill 4 main NPCs (thus only as an end-game option) and also find 26 unique items, while never getting a single hint about where they are – yes, the only way to finish it is murder / pickpocket every single character in the game by trial and error.

  • tOmy`

    Come on, who wouldn’t want a 20$ worth of pixels for your horse?!

  • Earth

    Oh right, it’s been a while. I was thinking of the Morag Tong people.

  • Jaws

    ”My name sucks” –Captain Phasma, Star Wars, 2015.

  • Earth

    Bubs liked his own comments…Do I win by default?

  • Gallen_Dugall

    Once again I agree with Rich – too many game designers are wannabe film makers with a very narrow and very stupid story they want to inflict on players.

  • Bubs

    You’re ignoring my point about all the final missions (with the exclusion of Mr. House) of Fallout New Vegas being rushed and incomplete messes. But that’s cool, diverting the conversation when you have an indefensible position is a valid tactic.

    Also:
    “your reply was: nuh uh, video games are different to film because shooting things is fun.”

    When you make things up it makes the conversation much less fun. Stop visiting white supremacy websites.

  • Bubs

    So I just finished watching episodes 1 – 5 of “Fear The Walking Dead”. Not since the Star Wars prequels has such a good idea been so poorly mishandled. It was the visual equivalent of dropping a healthy baby down an up-escalator. It just keeps tumbling and tumbling, growing infinitely more retarded.

    I would rather watch snails fuck than sit through another boring, plodding, emotionless, inept storyline of that show. The characters were clearly designed and written by a first grade year screen-writing student. I haven’t heard dialogue that bad since… well… since the fucking prequels.

    Christ, who knew the zombie apocalypse and the complete moral and physical decay of society could be SO FUCKING BORING?

  • tOmy`

    Yep, those are the shady fuckers.

    According to wiki, they apparently appear in Oblivion as well.

  • Red Skeleton

    “Not since the Star Wars prequels has such a good idea been so poorly mishandled.”

    You misspelled “season 2” of Walking Dead: The Series: Part 1.

  • Earth

    We had this conversation before, with your argument being that you can’t compare video games to films because video games are an interactive medium.

    I’m not even gonna begin to understand that white supremacist comment. Nice to compare me to that though. Keeps things civil.

    The only faction I saw as being rushed was the Legion’s. The NCR and House/Yes Man final missions were fine, though I guess there could have been more development in the NCR and Brotherhood of Steel alliance quest.

    Considering that you’ve ignored all of my points about Fallout 3 it’s ironic that you then say I’m the one diverting the conversation.

    And on that point. Fallout New Vegas’s endings were rushed? I’ll take that over the painstakingly dull crap we got with Fallout 3, where you first have to go through Mad Max 3: Beyond the Thunderdome cave to get to the dumb red matter mcguffin, then not get the chance to join the villains even though it’s supposed to be an RPG and they’re actually surprisingly more logical than the knights in shining armour you’re forced to hang out with even if you keep killing them throughout the game, then finally at the end you get to watch a giant robot do all the work then follow it to shoot a guy then kill yourself.

    Stay classy with the upvoting yourself thing.

  • Bubs

    “I’m not even gonna begin to understand that white supremacist comment. Nice to compare me to that though. Keeps things civil.”

    Oh, I just figured since you were making stuff up, I would make stuff up too.

    I’m not sure why my opinion of Fallout 3 bothers you so much. I find this much more fascinating than your actual opinion of the game. The level of narcissism required to believe that your opinion is somehow more valid than mine is baffling. I mean, I make the joke often that “You’re entitled to your opinion, even though it’s wrong.”, but I think you actually feel this way, which is fascinating.

    As for your actual post, almost all of your statements can be applied to 50% of the RPGs produced in the past decade. RPGs aren’t about world building anymore. They’re about turning +5 damage into +6. Fallout 3 entertained me. This is my criteria for a good game. Deal with it.

  • Bubs

    Contrary to popular belief (read: uneducated), sometimes video games actually are the best medium for telling a particular story. The quality of that story will always vary, of course. But if you don’t like it, go play Pacman. It’s got a pretty straightforward plot.

  • Bubs

    Are you saying you didn’t like Season 2 of The Walking Dead? I don’t know why people always call that the “bad season”. I thought it was fine. To me, the bad season will always be Season 3. Where character motivations fly out the window, and things just happen because. I would rather spend 8 seasons at Herschel’s farm than deal with the nonsensical events of Season 3 again.

  • Like Icare

    It rhymes with Shakma. Sorry… SHAKMA!

  • JackFrost23

    Oh, no doubt they bring up Mario far too much. And even if they don’t mention him, the little motherfucker is in the background behind Rich in every episode.

    I’m assuming so that Jack can gaze at Mario lovingly?

  • Swallowing balls?

  • Like Icare

    Anakin, before the fall. Lucas, his arms wide open.

  • Jaws

    *sharkma

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Earth

    You replied to my comment mate. I’m more bothered by you liking your own comments.

    I don’t care if you prefer Fallout 3 to New Vegas. It annoys me that you reply to my comment then don’t bother to even continue the discussion, wasting both your time and mine. Then you insult me for arguing for my opinion. Whatever dude.

  • Jaws Got Fingered

    maybe its just me, but im really startin to get the impression people round here dont like the star wars prequels very much

  • Earth

    Video games need more pimps, more pushers.

    There should be a game of Blood Debts, where if you level up enough you get the Tri-Punch and Triple Fist. Then of course, for the boss battle with Bill, you get a tiny missile launcher gauntlet.

  • Jaws Got Fingered

    man this place is becoming so nerdy, that even the nerds from revenge of the nerds are like, man them nerds are nerdsssss.

  • tOmy`

    Like an ambitious Dr. Victor Frankenstein, RATM was so driven by vision and blinded by hubris, that the band failed to see it was giving birth to a mob-hounded monster. But Commerford gets it now. “I do apologize for Limp Bizkit,” the RATM bassist says. “I really do. I feel really bad that we inspired such bullshit.”

  • Palpatine

    *Sigh*, yet another upset Prequel fanboy who was dropped at birth:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-DHZJS0at9c

  • Earth

    Heh. I remember that guy. He’s been here a few times. Believes that there’s a conspiracy within the media out to attack the prequels and its fans. It is only because of this media brainwashing that people can’t see the prequels for the genius they are.

  • Palpatine

    Really, where’d he comment at?

  • Bubs

    It’s an interesting 9/11 was an inside job theory. I hadn’t heard that.

  • Earth

    The Plinkett reviews I think.

  • tOmy`

    “Polls show that the vast majority of people love The Prequel Trilogy. I’ve really only found hate for it on youtube and a few small time reviews. The movies were very good and complex.”

    Mwahahahahaha.

  • Earth

    Yeah I can’t remember the details exactly. I remember that he hates Disney and sees the new films as an insult to George Lucas’ genius.

    And that he likes and defends Jar Jar Binks.

  • Michael Collins

    Season 1 of TWD was pretty good, then it all went to shit..
    How anyone could think another show based on the same bullshit could redeem it, or even be good as a stand-a-lone baffles the mind.

    Nothing is good anymore…

  • tOmy`

    I was hoping for it to be really bad, so I think I am gonna give it a shot. Hey, at least I know what I am going into, unlike with TD 2.

  • tOmy`

    AMC ran out of Breaking Bad and Mad Men.

    They need to pad their prime time with inexplicably hyper popular Walking Dead and its cousin to fill in the whole year till Better Call Saul happens again.

    Can’t really blame them, it is what people wanted. Sorta.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    TWD peaked at Season 1 episode 1. That must be some sort of guinness record for the shortest amount of time a TV show has gone downhill.

  • tOmy`

    And for the moment when reviewers said “Hey, this is actually a good episode!” Which happened with S5E1.

    So that’s like… two really good episodes.

  • TapewormBike

    Small time reviews? Oh yeah, totes.

    Also, who gives a fuck, either way.

  • Palpatine

    And on which site was this poll made?

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, who cares about the reviews that made this site famous.

  • tOmy`

    Johnny’s “Movies With Lava In Them” webzone

  • TapewormBike

    That’s not what I said, man.

  • As much as we bitched about Fallout 3… I believe this can more or less be achieved in that game. You can get high on drugs, people can’t act for shit and the main bad guy’s name is just as lame – it’s John.

  • The prequels are better because they have more lightsaber battles. The original trilogy is boring. It has almost no lightsaber battles. Plus the original does not have toads in it.

  • To be fair, it features a big fat slug and a Rancor.

  • Earth

    What can ya do? That moustache is very alluring.

  • What’s a Rancor? Is it the end boss of that Jabba desert planet?

  • Like Icare

    Hmm… Checked his videos and blog…

    Dude is apparently from Greece, was unemployed and depressed for a while (economic depression does wonders for stress and depression of humans), identifies with Vader… and then his rescued husky he had for years started getting sick (further draining his already diminished funds and putting emotional strain on him and causing tensions with his family) – and then the dog died.
    Soo… that video is basically one man’s version of dealing with loss and depression.

    Which makes him a stupid A-HOLE! ELL-OH-ELL!
    Everyone knows that the best way to deal with death and depression in your life is through booze and medication!
    Ha! What a maroon!

    Oh… Wait…

    I may have gone too far. I may have gone too far in a few places…

  • Looks like Jack was right about one thing out of all of the things he said… https://youtu.be/jPxzLVukMUE?t=1m28s

    I did hear an opinion from a long time fan of MGS that the story in V is quite terrible. I have no idea because I haven’t played it.

  • Gallen_Dugall

    My criticism is about game designers not games you f*ing half wit.

  • Katie Holmes? More like ‘take your kids and run, honey’!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    The first 2 are pretty good. Batman TAS is the best thing Batman was ever used in.

  • Red Skeleton

    Season 2 was literally “We have no money so let’s have the characters fuck around on the farm.” Lori crashes a car because……… because they had a car loaded to roll they needed to get rid of? Andrea shoots Daryl and he responds in a way that makes absolutely no sense. It was just boring and stupid.

    Don’t get me wrong season 3 wasn’t MUCH better. I actually skipped a lot of it. But at least things HAPPENED in it. Yeah, Andrea went to shit, but stuff happened.

  • Earth

    Not enough rape though. And not nearly enough pimps or pushers.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I thought there was plenty of implied rape in Fallout 3

  • Earth

    ONLY BECAUSE YOU CAUSED IT FRAGNON!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I was Rapist of the year a few years back

  • Palpatine

    On a scale of Jack to Mike, how drunk are you?

  • Palpatine

    Sorry, I must’ve misread your comment.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Sheesh! Why didn’t you remind me to take my medication an hour ago? What kind of friends are you, anyway?

  • TapewormBike

    I yelled it out of the window, prayed for a good wind. I also sent a kiss. You didn’t say No Homo, so…..

  • Like Icare

    Worse than an alarm on your mobile phone? Also, worse than a post-it.

    Piece of paper and some glue beats us when it comes to friendship.
    It IS a colorful piece of paper. Gotta give it that…

  • fred

    hhhhhhIIIIIIIIHeheheehehe…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W7LztCEpA4

  • Like Icare

    Remember when an aspiring young comedian and film maker started his career doing that?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsgdqXJDKoA

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What do you think I am, a well organized person?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I did, but I guess the wind didn’t get to you.

  • Like Icare

    Who said anything about being organized? I thought you just might like colorful pieces of paper. Doesn’t everyone?

  • Alex

    1:21 Oh my goooooooooooood!
    Already one minute in and I know this is gonna be great.

  • Alex

    Yeah, but with all those Lightsabers, how are we (the viewers) able to determine who shot first?

  • Like Icare

    Goddammit… Keep forgettin to download my porn.
    I need to consolidate my porn collection, you see? I just realized that so many of my favorite porn stars are already retired. Short career-span, porn. But that’s the buzzinesss I guess…
    Anyway… What was I… Ah yes… Porn… keep forgetting to download porn.
    I need to get me some Gingko Balboa. Or Rocky Balboa? Which one is for the brain and which one got hit in the brain so he talks funny? I need the other one.
    Goddammit… missed the download-check-timer-thing again… Fuck! Now I have to type in that catchpa again.

    I like the ones with numbers of people’s houses. They are easy. And it feels a bit like stalking people and giving their addresses to the advertisers…
    Where was I? Ah yes… Mahjong… I used to play so much Mahjong I messed up my mouse button from all the clicking… I also played with mah jong so much I had to go to mah doctor cause I got me a Chink deficiency. I don’t know how that happen. I like Asian chicks alot. They are a bit pixelated sometimes though…
    Where was I?
    Ah yes… Rocky Balboa. Do you think he’s gonna die in the new Rocky movie? And will he see a ghost of Mickey? Again? And will Disney sue on account of using the name of their mouse? Did I tell you how I once broke my mouse surfing for porn?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Alright alright I’ll buy your 69 kg supply of viagra pills just please stop your corporate advertising speech Dirk Diggler.

  • Like Icare

    Not sure about Viagra (I’m a vital young man IRL, so I never had need for it) but clearly, Pre Rec does nothing for my content deficiency withdrawal symptoms.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Did you forget to set the alarm on your mobile?

  • Jack gets drunk? Isn’t he the responsible one, with kids and all?

  • Alex

    Now I want the next Star Wars Teaser too be voiced by that guy. They should revive the passionate narrator with the near-orgasm delivery.

  • Like Icare

    Nah… The cue for mah fevah is MO CONTENT!

    So alarms don’t help much.

    But I do have me an RSS bookmark set up to inform me when new stuff is put on this webzone. It doesn’t help much either but it saves a few clicks. So my mouse lasts longer.
    Where was I going with this again?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I want there to be a scene in The Force A-Nappin, where Grumpa Han Solo sees someone who kinda looks like Greedo and shoots him, because he’s a racist. Then Shia La Beef, or I guess it could John Babunga too, appears in a cameo role and asks: “Do you always shoot first?” And then Grumpa Han goes: “Part time.”

  • Alex

    Well I started playing Arkham City a week ago, and I got bored by it after 3 days, So there’s that.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That’s why he’s at the bottom of the scale, see? Mike’s at the top, clearly.

  • The FBI has launched an investigation on who shot first. They think it was Han, right in the face of thet flyfaceguy.. whatever his name was. Grevious, Hoth… Lando? I can’t remember. I don’t care for Star Wars. Now let’s talk about how awesome Star Trek TNG ep 10 Season 4 is.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    How many more porns can you watch with those saved clicks?

  • Ooooooooooohhh. I get it. I need explaining cus of booze in my brain. Booze in my brain. Hey your not a movie. I clicked on your avatar and there was no 80s b-movie play button. WHO ARE YOU? Did you come to steal my precious blue gungin ball I hold up in StarWars Ep.1?

  • TapewormBike

    Threes is better, anyway.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    If it’s my medicine, then yes. I’m trying to fix my face, I think there’s something wrong with it.

  • Like Icare

    I can’t tell exactly. More research is required. Hope it is alot.

    Them mouse buttons are not cheap.

  • JackFrost23

    Yeah, I suppose it is.

    Hey, wait, Big Boss has one, too.

    See? The games are the same!

  • Alex

    5) Olga’s armpits
    6) taking a shot of vodka everytime Snake says Metal Gear! on the PSX version.
    7) Grey Fox pouring his heart out and having a 10 min conversation with Snake, while Metal Gear blows shit up in the background.
    8) that recurring soldier with the diarrhea gets to marry the heroine of MGS

  • Like Icare

    There was a second shooter. Han didn’t work alone. Chewbacca shot the magic bullet right from the Grassy Knoll. You can see it in the original version. Lucas tried to cover it up by making it look like Han shot second and moving him digitally, to the left.
    Back, and to the left. Back, and to the left…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKxOEUhRMt0

  • Alex
  • instant relief

    Ménage-à-trois?

  • Alex

    I don’t know, I think they made lots of valid points about the lack of gameplay and variety in those shallow games. I just didn’t like the click-bait title they chose.

  • Alex

    If it weren’t for Jack, Pre-rec wouldn’t exist. So go back to your corner until the Blair Witch picks you up.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If you don’t think this movie is going to be good you’re probably some annoying sounding Canadian with long hair.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoebZZ8K5N0

  • Alex

    1) Sorry for not getting on all fours and sucking Hideo Kojima’s dick. But this guy’s a huge prick, so what’s your point?

    2) Yeah, thats why they fired him..

  • Oh hey, it’s the actor who can only do “angry is loud”. Might be ok.

  • Alex

    I heard the wig got twice the salary than JGL.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The sexy Indian child?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    PEOPLE SHOUTING IS DRAMA

  • Alejandro González Iñárritu. Yes.

  • NO! IT CAN’T BE!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But he isn’t shouting. In fact he looks subtle.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Not recognising a Plinkett reference -5

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I noticed it, asshole. Hence the indian child joke below.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    SO MANY EMOTIONS!

  • This is pure stream of consciousness. Have you ever wondered if you’re not in some modern James Joyce-type novel?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Mitchell does not have long hair!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t know and I hope not. After Rocky Balboa from 2006 I think that will be too much of a grim ending to that character for me.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I meant Colin.

  • Alex

    I remember I enjoyed that game, but I always keep confusing this with the first Call of Juarez game.

  • There was plenty of rape, alright. Bethesda raped the franchise really hard.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s a Mexican, you racist.

  • fred

    birdman moopie 3 the birdening of the moon

  • Wizard Phoenix

    ….is that a joke?

  • Some of them were Indians too.

  • Alex

    Am I in the minority enjoying Pre-Rec here? Maybe it’s because I’m now more of a Casual Gamer, or because I would never play 90% of the games they play. I know that they’re always coming off from a biased viewpoint, but this “get off my lawn” attitude is what makes their banter so special and amusing, even more so on the streams.

  • Alex

    His name was Brundlefly…..okay. He had a very beautiful wife and lovely larvae.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes we’re in a minority here. I have been dutifully informed that I’m a “fanboy drone”. I guess disliking MGS V is a heinous crime of epic proportions, as well as being a fan of RLM. It’s a hard knock life…

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Is that a sideways Teabag?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Too late I already got both games. I’m well aware of the dullnesses of the Batman games but they are classics. I’ll get plenty of gamer points out of them. Tonight I’m going to get Portal 2 for the 360. I purposely stopped playing before the end battle, because I never wanted it to end, but I’ll finish it on the 360 so as to justify spending money I shouldn’t.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    That shit reminds me of Gary’s Mod. Funny.

  • Palpatine

    I see nothing wrong with you liking Pre-Rec.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Thanks Palpy

  • instant relief

    *slurp*

  • Palpatine

    No problem. Is Pre-Rec a guilty pleasure of yours then?

  • Like Icare

    More like a Harry S. Plinkett novel.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Zagnar!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    We could easily be in a James Joyce novel

  • Red Skeleton

    They are something of a paradox as game reviewers because they’re “old school” enough to be weepy-eyed over Shovel Knight yet too “New School” to be able to figure out how to play Sonic the Hedgehog.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Tru Dat!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If any of you can find the Scientist Man music please tell us!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    It’s very telling that this comment section in really the only thing interesting on the inter-tube-webzone…

  • Like Icare

    There are three things that are bothering me about that movie.

    One is that it is fucking GREEEEEN.
    But that can be managed. Fuck it… Red glasses will fix that if nothing else. Though I’d like to fix all those fuckers making green movies the last couple of decades…

    The second one is the camera thing which pretends that the movie is a vidya game.
    Which might be more appropriate in the movie, just looking awkward in the trailers with all the cuts.

    Third thing… Umm… Why is everything new?
    It’s like they are wearing CGI clothing. Or there is some 24/7 traveling tailor/weaver shop following them through the wilderness.

    Leo has a rag around his head… and it looks like THE rag. Like it came in its own box.
    “This box contains one (1) rag. Size M. Green. New. Made in China.”

    There is this whole… “I’m watching a fake thing” feel about everything.
    Like watching a theater production filmed as a TV movie.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *Casual Gamer™

  • The Ghost

    Nah, I enjoy it. Whether I agree with them or not, they clearly put a lot of thought into it, and they show their work by outlining (in tedious detail) why they like or don’t like something.

    A lot of people cite the lack of disagreement between Rich and Jack as a major flaw. That really doesn’t bother me much. I’d rather they express their viewpoints as they are instead of feigning outrage and manufacturing disagreements over everything like some daytime ESPN show.

  • Like Icare

    Maybe he returns as a Force Ghost in the end, with Apollo Creed, Adrian, Mickey, half a frozen cow and the Robot, waving to the Creed’s kid.

    “Force will be like wittya kid, always. Yo.”

  • Ogrot

    I kind of land with Rich on MGS5. The stealth gameplay is fucking awesome. And like all Kojima stories it is a self indulgent mess of conspiracy theory laden pulp. I actually decided to purchase this due to most folks I pay attention to confirming that cinematic cutscenes weren’t the 1:1 ratio to gameplay as they were in the past. Even still I found myself feeling like a child being held back by the tour guide of the magical candy factory’s chocolate forest to listen to him drone on about the intricate processes involved in producing the perfect cacao bean every time Ocelet would infodump me at the beginning of the handful of missions he did so. But it’s what Kojima does. He can’t help himself. He infodumps so much it could be called a fetish. Or perhaps the beginning of incontinence.

    I find the game best in short doses. An hour or two here or there. The game play is so tight that the limited exposure keeps it from feeling too samey. It’s almost as if it’s best suited to be a dad ga