Pre-Rec: Hand of Fate

April 2, 20152,549 Comments

Jack and Rich are jazzed to play Hand of Fate, a 3rd person Brawler/Deck Building game. Our hands are jazzed… Jazz Hands… I’ll stop now.


Filed in: Previously Recorded

  • Guest

    Shamefully announcing I’m first

  • El_Runko

    Proudly announcing I’m second. #noshame

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You’re late with this april fools joke guys!

  • Shamelessly announcing I am prettiest.

  • James Earl Jones

    Yay, finally new cont…Oh wait, it’s the Pre-Rec from 2 weeks ago.

  • Bongodoug

    i find these rather enjoyable. This episode may be a few weeks old but Rich Evans flipping his Finger of Fate is timeless.

  • Palpatine

    So RLM posts a video from two weeks ago? The Hack-Fraud Levels are off the charts!

  • Bongodoug

    his boobery count is higher than Master Yoda

  • Palpatine

    Is Mike Stoklasa the Chosen One of the Hack-Frauds?

  • Robby

    Jack, if you want to smash pots, barrels, and crates you should be playing Bloodborne.

  • Bongodoug

    the prophecy says he will bring balance to the Hack/Frauds

  • Bongodoug

    must also compliment the set and background pieces. fine work, gentlemen, fine work.

  • El_Runko

    You misspelled “cunt”.

  • Palpatine

    Rich and Jack use “A” camera and “B” camera when they shoot.

  • quick_moranis

    I think it’s more likely that’s Rich’s hand of ‘bate.

  • Palpatine
  • infernocanuck

    #Shutthefuckup

  • Robby
  • THAT’S THE JOKE?

  • That or any other Souls or Zelda game.

  • El_Runko

    #okayiwill

  • Uncle Dan

    Apparently Jack only owns two cameras, the purpose of PreRec being something they can do for more content that doesn’t involve Mike or Jay whatsoever.

  • Palpatine

    So is Jack secretly George Lucas in disguise?

  • Anders Hass

    That was late

  • That’s some heavy-duty corset he’s wearing, then.

  • Palpatine

    George Lucas is a Changeling. So be extra careful.

  • marko112kg

    they should have called it Arkham Axylum

  • Mr_Wint

    ‘Jack-Fraud’

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Thanks for posting this here. Rich and Jack deserve to be here as much as Mike and Jay.

  • Guest

    People keep bitching about PreRec being “not as good” as the other once-a-month videos, so they’ve been keeping their fresh content at Youtube and Twitch.

  • Rich does not look well.

  • Rich does not look well…

  • It’s probably all the hot dogs he’s been munching for Space Cop.

  • Red Skeleton

    New content?! Oh God, i just jazzed in my hand.

  • Not really, it’s been up for two weeks now. That is unless you haven’t seen it.

  • Jacks gay little clap. I want a gif now.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Seems odd to say you care less about story, yet critique the cod games for lack thereof.. basically if a game is fun it’s recommended but fun is totally subjective. haha

  • Percy Gryce

    Uh, let’s not go crazy now, lil lady.

  • Percy Gryce

    Fuck moopies. Percy G is all about the games now.

  • SkaMP

    Rich should be in every video ever

  • You guys have strange video game tastes, but I would still love to eat your livers! Thanks for the laughs bald guy and fat dude!

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    *sigh*

  • SkaMP

    oh boy thanks for telling me to be extra careful, I was only being sort of careful

  • dollar store cashier wife

    welcome to PreRec where critique is never substantial in any way,shape or form.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Debatable.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Maybe you could send in a large cache of ridiculously bad games to RLM. Someone will get this great idea to make a “Wheel of the Worst” for video games. You will have a new spreadsheet to deal with as many of your selections grace the wheel, touched by the nimble hands of Rich and Mike.

    Beer bottles will be thrown in your honor.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Sorry. Got carried away.

    Rich deserves to be here as much as Mike and Jay.

    Better?

  • Mark Bisone

    “Nice going, boys. You’re playing yesterday’s tape.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZbtAFq7dP8&feature=youtu.be

    As a professional board/card game designer, I have to say that I really like the graphic design of the cards in this game.

    Question for Rich or Jack: would you consider playing this if it was an actual card game (i.e. came in a cardboard box, no ugly cartoon guys swinging around axes, etc.) In other words, how important is the Batman beat’em’up component to gameplay? Do you think it could replaced with some kind of old-school dice-rolling mechanic, and still remain an enjoyable time-waster?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Someone already gifted Rich a copy of Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut and they still haven’t played it.What a fucking shame considering DP is the The Room of video games.

  • The Ghost

    You two bastards are always making me spend money. No really though, this looks like a lot of fun. I’ll likely check it out. And I’m glad you stumbled upon a suitable palate cleanser after “The Order: 66.” Er… whatever.

  • Sully

    As far as “ugly” goes, this guy still takes the cake, but I agree that this game would benefit from a character creator, though I also believe that option should be available in most games.

    http://i.imgur.com/qrtMq2S.jpg

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I would love to see them play Marvel Vs. card game, even if it was just 2 starter decks (like Doc Ock vs. Spiderman). The artwork is gorgeous, they’re big Marvel fans, and the game is easy to learn

  • See what the lack of content made me do? I made a special edition of yesterday’s joke. I need serious help. http://i.imgur.com/xLrZ355.jpg

  • Lt Hurwitz

    New cont…oh, it’s not Jay’s Vlog.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    that’s a work of art you got there.

  • Thank you. I’m really proud of the R2.

  • Miguel Angel Teran

    and you will like it!

  • Isn’t the Director’s Cut version PC only? It’s really poorly optimized and riddled with technical problems. That may be the reason.

  • Palpatine

    Here’s the RLM Fraud Wars Saga:
    Fraud Wars Episode I: The Failure Menace
    Fraud Wars Episode II: Attack of the Dopes
    Fraud Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sellouts
    Fraud Wars Episode IV: A New Dope
    Fraud Wars Episode V: Lucasfilm Strikes Back
    Fraud Wars Episode VI: Return of the Hack

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Fraud Wars Episode VII:The Plinkett Awakens.

  • Palpatine

    Written and directed by Elaine May.

  • If so, I believe you got the numbering all wrong.
    It’s Episode 3, then Episode 2, followed by Episode 3 and Episode 4, followed by Episode 4, 2 and 3.

  • Thrift store fail is my favorite!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Hey! A video that was uploaded almost two week ago on YouTube!
    Wh-what do you think they’re trying to express to us webzone-morlocks? “We hate you.” Oh, right, that’s it.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Why are you a bloody stump?! Did you catch the attention of the Eye of Jay?

  • From the director of Exodus: Gods and Kings…
    Fraud Wars Episode VII: Fraud and Frauder Too
    Starring Cynthia Rothrock, Richard Harrisson and Kevin Bacon.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Oh, but it’s WAY more ironic to do it on the 2nd of April, narfnarfnarf.
    Sighh, damn yoga… I got my head stuck up my own ass again.

  • Shhhhh. We need this. Just let em hawk their cheap wares

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Kick The Can doesn’t count, Percy!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    It’s on PSSSTHRRR also.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Ah, yar, no harm done then.

  • It’ll grow back, soonish.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s not like the console versions were a technical hallmark.All versions of DP are godawful from a technical point of view.That’s just part of it’s uhm..charm!

  • Percy Gryce

    Please, give me some credit. I’m a bit hipper than that.

    I was actually thinking of Faro and Whist.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It’s a week old but in perfect condition.

  • Percy Gryce

    I don’t know, for me it’s still Mike, Other Guy, Fake Plinkett, and other Other Guy.

  • its called bleach

    would you say that rlm should not keep it up?

  • Palpatine

    What about the Fat Guy with the beard and the Girl with the annoying laugh?

  • Ha!Ha!
    Double Entendre.

  • Percy Gryce

    Who?

  • Palpatine

    You know, the other other other Guy and Mike’s girlfriend.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Rich is made entirely of Twinkie®. Jack is made of breadstick.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yoko Ono?

  • Percy Gryce

    Meh.

  • bb-15

    There is hope for Pre-Rec!
    Jack is realizing that there is more to video gaming than just mashing buttons on a 2D arcade scroller or fighter.
    Jack has now understood that when there is an avatar in a 3D space the action has to slow down (you know for aiming and dodging)! Yeah for Jack.
    And there was a realization by the guys that card games (see Magic) can be fun.

    Wow. This review was a mind blowing event.

  • Percy Gryce

    This Sunday is Easter. I trust I’m not the only one around here who remembers what the Easter Bunny brought us on Easter Sunday morning five years ago? Mr. Plinkett’s AOTC review.

    Will Mr. Plinkett again wreck, er, uh, grace our Paschal morn with his wit and wisdom? I’ll let you decide. But the answer’s probably not.

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh, really? *Wipes hand off on Previously Recorded*

  • Red Skeleton

    Previously Recorded? More like Previously UPLOADED!

  • Red Skeleton

    Am I rite?

  • You are a scolar and a gentleman.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Have they done a ‘Previously on Pre-Rec’ skit-gag yet?

  • Chewbacca

    Here is a comment for your effort.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    I know! Trapped in a thrift store for 11 days, surviving off of boiled Nukie video sleeves. What a story, Jay!

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Where does Mike Spaduski fit into this equation?

  • James Earl Jones

    Mispelled “new” too!

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    I’m under the impression Mike does not really feel like doing Plinkett reviews anymore. He’s expressed his views on filmmaking to a solid degree by making them and no booze in the world could ever cure the damage inflicted by watching these horrible movies multiple times and diving into their stupidity.

    Mike’s fought his war and he won, see. He’ll do a half-hour review of Episode 7 and short videos for 8 and 9 and this will be it. Its kinda sad, but that’s what’s most likely going to happen.

    And I’m probably fine with that.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I generally enjoy Rich/Jacks live stream talks on twitch but their critique skills make your eyebrow raise. I’d rather see Rich’s reaction to the game than a half baked analysis… :

  • RLMkeepitup

    This is probably accurate. I would guess he also got his kicks out of the character and would want to end on a high note. It’s admirable. The new star wars films will likely not have nearly as much to critique.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    You mean before or after post production of Space Cop kills Mike?

  • Palpatine

    What else is there to review that hasn’t already been reviewed in a Plinkett style? That is to say in a long, analyzing manner.

  • I saw this on youtube a while back and then when I couldn’t find it on this site I had (for a short time) thought I had dreamed it. Good to know my memory was not a hallucination.

  • tOmy`

    So… am I just hipster to stay back in the last “BoTW” thingie? Or are we discussing what frauds Jack and Rich are?

    Who did they anger this time? Fucking poker players?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Prometheus.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    royal flush!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I think it depends on the game, or type of game. You don’t need a story for Pac-man, or this thing, that is, for the most part, a card game. Many of the early FPS had storylines that could be put in two sentences. CoD games want to pretend they are giving you a plot with twists and turns, but they aren’t really that good at it.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    What sort of devilish deception is this, I asketh thee?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    But your blue can still be my red. Duuuuuude!

  • tOmy`

    Double-tabing sucker. Typical fanboy.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I agree with that

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Two weeks? Feels like two months!

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I like my comments like I like my women. Split in two.

  • tOmy`

    This was very, very good. Thank you.

    *secret Czech handshake*

  • Palpatine

    Since we’re discussing the Plinkett reviews down below, has anyone here watched the Plinkett reviews on the Star Trek: The Next Generation films?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    *wanks back*

  • Watched them all. All of them were comedy gold.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Is that a serious question?

  • Palpatine

    Yes it is.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Oh. Yes I have, multiple times.

  • Palpatine

    I’ve tried watching them, but I just found myself bored while doing so. Maybe it’s because I’m not in to Star Trek. Plus, the way Mike did his Plinkett voice was pretty dull sounding.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I kinda like the TNG Plinkett reviews more than the Prequel Plinkett reviews. Not because they are better or worse, but you can see Plinkett’s metamorphosis in terms of editing and comedic timing, which is fascinating to me.

  • tOmy`

    Look, I really like Plinkett, okay? But I don’t get his reviews. It is freaking clear he is no Rich. I don’t get this shit. It’s like with that “Phantom Menace review” everyone keeps on yapping about. That movie was good, mkay?!

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I am not a Trekkie myself and I would agree that they are boringerer than SW, but they still have that special Plinkett sauce for me.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    HipstHer

  • Palpatine
  • dollar store cashier wife

    Directed by Mike Stoklasa.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Written by Elaine May

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Why did you say it so weird?

  • tOmy`

    Who is this chick? I don’t… I don’t even know what you people are on about half the time.

    Honestly, tho: Yesterday (or maybe day before yesterday) I saw on our CZECH TV this fucking young Olson Twins program. I knew it was real. I just… I just burst out in laughter, while my mother was looking at me like: “Are… are you okay?”

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I was putting Hs in words before it was popular

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I watched through all of them once. But I gotta say, I felt like I didn’t get as much out of them, not having seen any of the movies or the show.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Fine then. Favourite Plinkett? Does Revenge of The Sith have any competition?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I don’t care for ST either but there are some fantastic humor bits in his TNG reviews.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Why you gotta put hydrogen sulfide ions in everything?

    No wonder it smells of rotten eggs around here.

  • tOmy`

    I love them all. I think Revenge is best. I also really, really like Nemesis – despite never seeing the freaking move, nor caring about Battlestar Galactica: Top Gear.

    And whenever I introduce Plinkett to someone new, I always go with: Cop Dog.

  • Palpatine

    The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull review is my favorite non-Prequel review, but the Episode III review is without a doubt the best one.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Attack of the Clones.Plinkett’s deduction of what can be laughably called the romance between Anakin and Padme leaves me in tears of laughter everytime.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Cop Dog.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I introduce folks with Avatar, but maybe I should try Cop Dog instead. Because Avatar never fucking works!

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Try different friends first

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I vote ‘First Contact’ for the fact that it changed my opinion of the movie. Until his shredding I thought it was ‘serviceable’ and now I know better. So much better.

  • tOmy`

    Cop Dog is the best choice, I think: It is short, retarded (as the movie) and there are really, really great jokes in it and at the same time it carries the “Plinkett” atmosphere throughout, while never being “too much” for mortal, yet it also shows that this ain’t no typical review (eating. pussy.).

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Argh. That’s hard when no one you know will watch a 10 minute youtube video of a serial killer reviewing films.

    Maybe that’s why I could never start a religion. Damn those Scientologists and their successful marketing strategies.

  • Palpatine

    Personally, I think people should be introduced to Plinkett, and RLM in general, through the Prequel reviews. That’s how I became a fan.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    If your friends weren’t into Star Wars, then what would you pick?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    It is strange. Like, I know that Tom Cruise and John Travolta are gay and still no profit

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’s how I introduced several people and found RLM myself.It’s Mike’s magnum opus and nothing else really compares.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Death

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Defiantly”?

  • Palpatine

    Probably Cop Dog or Baby’s Day Out. Those reviews are short, sweet, and to the point.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Fo shiazlo

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    They’re just roommates, like Merlin and Santa. It’s totally platonic with the giant flesh light on the wall.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Cruise does walk funny

  • Steven Gibbs

    Are there spikes in this game? If there aren’t i probably won’t watch the review.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    What game?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Me too. I tried to show it to a friend who’s also a fan of Star Wars but he didn’t last five minutes. I was so disappointed because I know he’d like it if he just eased into it. Maybe I made a mistake by letting the review speak for itself instead of explaining the point of it first.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    So does Daniel Craig, but it’s because his suits are too tight.

    He really should just take them off before walking or running, I think.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *Run.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    He did that once and raped a girl in a shower, so, duno about that.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    The game of life.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Dat nek

  • tOmy`

    Exactly. My friend had a lot of problems with it.

    But, my ex gf (we, cheerleaders, have a very weird style of life) saw Plinkett as an “art” – she wanted to see, what is so great about it, so despite not being Star Wars fan, she got behind the style and then she went with the joke and ultimately liking it. But that is really 1 in 100 cases.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Shhhhh. We only focus on the good times, Tape.

    Like walking around in nothing but tiny swimming shorts on the beach.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    My gf hates the voice and is worried by the visuals

  • tOmy`

    Are you trying to deal in absolutes? Because seeing the current state of this comment section, you may find yourself in a sithload of troubles.

    [Typo intended]

  • omitted

    We weren’t talking about you!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    IN MY POINT OF VIEW THE JEDI ARE EVIL!

  • TapewormBikeForever

    His double 0 and 7 were packaged tightly

  • omitted

    That is one of my happy places.

  • tOmy`

    It’s really about “trashing” your expectations. It is a “review”, sure, but do reviews get this kinda hype? Do they create this kinda established “fanbase”?

    Nah.

    I had problems explaining to my friends things like: “Well, me and bunch of people from RLM were live-commenting 7 hours of Oscars.”

    There is a vibe, there is an atmosphere and same goes for these reviews. But in no way you can “explain” or “prepare” someone for it. You either go with it and go insane (this is the first time ever I am actually being a part of “comment section”) or just… let it go. No harm done.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Still, Double O heaven.

    A Bond pun! I did a Bond pun!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa
  • TapewormBikeForever

    No, I expect you to die, Mrs. Konichiwa.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Hunka Hunka

  • dollar store cashier wife

    The reviews got universal hype because it mixed real insight with good humor.It was the anthesis of an average internet reviewer cunts like Jeremy Jahns who make 5 minute long videos in which 3 minutes are dedicated to just recaping the plot.I really don’t think there’s some mystical allure for why we’re all here.This shit has objective value.Period.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I think we can oficially conclude that we ruin any topical discussion we see. Rejoice!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Dammit. I need Jenn and her Donkey to come and rescue me, then.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    She is powerless without her magical hat.

  • omitted

    We learned from the best!

  • Percy Gryce

    Poor Mike Spaduski, we hardly knew ye.

  • omitted

    Disqus decides to show this picture to me instead of a boring link for some reason.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s really, REALLY hard to look at the films the same way after seeing the reviews. The jokes and visual gags stick with you, so much so that when re-watching a film Plinkett’s reviewed, I remember the Plinkett quote as much as I remember the scene.

    It’s also hard to strongly disagree with what Plinkett says because he covers every angle. I could see people having different points of view, but it’s hard to argue that Plinkett is wrong about the big picture, which is very different from other movie reviews.

  • Both?

  • Titanic, maybe? Though I love the Revenge of Nadine subplot in Revenge of the Sith.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    To me as well. Hmmmmm

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Eh. She found it in a Cracker Jack box. It’s Bupkis! The power is within her, Tapeworm. It’s in Jenn!

  • The Worfs purple space bazooka Star Trek TNG attempted movie directed by Commander Riker.

  • omitted

    ass well*

  • Disqustapo is confirmed for gay. And that’s perfectly fine.

  • Percy Gryce

    So let it be written, so let it be done.

  • a swell ass.

  • omitted

    You did it wrong…

  • Palpatine

    Am I the only one who finds it weird that a Star Wars character like yourself is a fan of Star Trek?

  • 🙁

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Hey Omitted. I just thought of something. I think you should change your name to Frank Woehrle and take up singing lessons. Then Jay will think you have the voice of an Angel and fall in love with you.

    It’s a long shot, but it just. might. work.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I wish

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s actually really easy to strongly disagree with Plinkett.You just gotta write a 108 page rebuttal.Most of which will consist of name calling.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    DO NOT WANT!

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Alas, I shall reside in the sweet nothingness of Morpheus’ empire of sleep. Mayhaps we will meet again when the reign is retrieved by Apollo once again, in the forever cycle of days and nights. My butt itches too, gotta shower.

  • Oh yea. The Nadine one. Wish they’d make more. Hey RLM! Get off your lazy bums and get back to work.

    Jay: Everyone thinks we don’t do anything just because we don’t release anything new in a while. Editing is what takes most time, I don’t think people realize this. We do a ton of other stuff aswell.

  • tOmy`

    This is also the first time I ever went out to a cold weather and bought few more beers just because of some random comment section. You people should be proud of this.

    Unless you’re in my group of AA meetings. Than you should be all ashamed for yourself, you worthless sponsors. Jeeeez.

    Anyway, cheers.

  • omitted

    This isn’t The Little Mermanmaid, ya know?

  • I guess that makes you… half in the bag.

  • omitted

    If I ever met Craig Daniel, I bet I would be the one walking funny afterwards.

  • Hey! Jorge made me green and fat. I’ll take and watch space garbage instead of the Prequels. Atleast you have super powers and and get to cliffjump spacewells.

  • tOmy`

    Anyway, shut up, everyone! *waits* Oh!

    Shut up, voices in my head. *waits*

    Good. This was all about some game, right? So… what is this? Fill me in. Entertain me. Use me, hurt me and then toss me away (Yes, I might have finished the first season of House of Cards).

  • Palpatine
  • Where did you read that? I don’t believe you! They’ve abandoned us!

  • tOmy`

    I love the fact that even in Lego Star Wars game, you are just this big, blobbish, useless thing.

    I still play for you sometimes, tho. <3

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    But it’s right there in Half In The Bag: Episode 9 Summer Movie Roundup! I saw it with mine own eyes! You just have to sing “Your a gay Santa Claus” and he will cherish the ground you walk on!

    Disney only wishes they could come up with material this good!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    The Titanic review actually gave me a new-found appreciation towards the movie. What’s that? A Plinkett review is not supposed to do that? Well, shit.

  • omitted

    This picture is so good I had to come (back to comment on it) three times.

  • tOmy`

    I always looked at Titanic as some sort of a “grow up Plinkett review”. It seems the most classy one (maybe just because of the setting of the movie) or something, it is a great addition and wonderful review.

    But I wouldn’t ever bother with it anyone who haven’t seen any of them before.

  • Yes. It’s been 3 hours since any new content. I mean reposts of not so new content. I mean… OMG they have abandoned us.

  • tOmy`

    Honestly, Omie? I would kiss the living fuck out of that guy.

    Sigh…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I heard in Star Wars lore that Boss Nass has an unlimited supply of kidneys to donate to get the info he wants from RLM.

    So, don’t make fun of his neck fat, then you’ll get more info plus free shipping!

  • omitted

    Just kiss? Amateur…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I never make it to page 108. Maybe it’s because I write really tiny.

  • omitted

    Don’t tell me you’re one of those guys…

  • tOmy`

    I kissed a boy and I liiikeeed it…

    Once… or twice… or maybe three times?

    I just don’t get so hyped up about all that “rest”. Oh god, oh god, time to stop drinking. This is getting way too weird.

  • You sound just like my wife. Oh and thanks for playing my useless character on a Lego Star Wars game. Now I feel like Im the boss of Nabu again. *opens Vodka bottle* Well heres to me.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Still here, saw that. Mwah

  • Red Skeleton

    I watched season 1, and only season 1, of house of cards. It’s easily Kevin’s best role since Tremors.

  • omitted

    I love drunken revelations. *opens pants* Do go on.

  • It came in socond at the Oscars. After Boyhood ofcourse.

  • Red Skeleton

    Seriously, though, having grown accustomed to British TV I’m really, really bored of US dramas having a strong pilot and then nose-diving into filler. The, um, Representative fellow. The bald guy, he really kept me interested in it, though.

  • Bubs

    That was Kevin Costner. You’re thinking of Kevin Spacey, who played Beetle Juice.

  • Palpatine

    You’re married? Tell me, who’s the lucky lady?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Nah. My porn viewing is disturbingly plain and boring

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “You know what this is this?”
    Your jerking hand?

  • tOmy`

    Thank you. I am pretty sure that was about Hand of Fate.

    (I had to scroll up to actually see what am I commenting about. Sue me.)

  • Red Skeleton

    No, Michael Douglas played Betelgeuse. Jesus Christ you assholes gotta learn your IMDB right.

  • Red Skeleton

    Sorry, but talking about House of Cards seemed more interesting than talking about this week-old review. And I didn’t even particularly like HoC.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Yousa

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What about CoD Whatever?

  • tOmy`

    I really liked House of Cards (cue tOmy’s bias towards TV shows):

    To put it simply: If this is, somewhat, about a power, effectiveness and the bigger picture, I am glad that the style of the show represents it as well – it is powerful, simple, effective.

    It ain’t no Wire, going overboard with the “novel on screen” style, nor it is Breaking Bad, going “artsy b-story”, it… just works. Very well, for me, I might add.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Post your reaction after you’ll see the first episode of season 2.

  • Red Skeleton

    I didn’t play that because when it told me to press a button I pressed the off button and played something else.

  • tOmy`

    Grey. It’s all grey.

  • Bubs

    Betelgeuse is a star in the Alpha Orion star cluster. Beetle Juice is a character created by Randy Quaid and played by Soupy Sales. Check your FACTS!

  • tOmy`

    Will do, wife. I kept thinking of you (in a very, very dirty kinda way) and I kept you in mind as the one cashier supporting House of Cards season 1.

  • Red Skeleton

    It was a nice story about power that didn’t need to be stretched out into… um 13 episodes?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    You people need to watch the UK original series.

  • tOmy`

    Fucking Christ (get it? he… he did something on this date? Did he… like signed up some treaty? What was it again?!)

    Whenever I see “Betelgeuse”, I go back to my Hitchhiker tick. Suddenly, even 3243 turns into 4242.

  • tOmy`

    On my to-lose-my-life-to-but-not-virginity list.

  • Red Skeleton

    Wait, I thought the Beatlejuices were that Scottish band from Manchester who took a bunch of drugs and wrote Daphne in the Clouds with Pearls.

  • What the fuck. I can see images.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What is the worst theater going experience you have ever had? For me, it’s Transformers 2.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    too bad you haven’t watched season 2 yet cause I would have a perfect [spoiler-y] sexual joke here. as it stands I got nothing. help me out ommited!

  • tOmy`

    It is slow. It is… a bit too slow. But I liked it. It has a vibe I could get behind.

    Hey, as I said, it may be just because I watched so many TV shows that I praise everything “bigger” just for being… different. Without seeing all the pros and cons logically. Why I cannot say House of Cards is the best shit ever (because, currently standing, it is Justified), I can honestly say I was not bored and I did enjoy every second of it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Don’t be afraid. The next you come here, it’ll go away.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    BeatTheJews is a delicious coctail, served in the northern part of Cyprus.

  • tOmy`

    Twilight: New Doom. Honestly.

  • Red Skeleton

    Wait wait… what do you mean… YOU PEOPLE? (I have, incidentally. It was much better, but not about quite the same things).

  • Red Skeleton

    Not touching that one, Bikey.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    What a Wookie!

  • Bubs

    My problem with House of Cards is this: I don’t understand Francis Underwood’s character at all. I watched the first season, and maybe his character makes more sense later on, but it didn’t at that point so I stopped watching.

    He likes to play video games, which makes him kinda unique and humanizes him a bit so I’ll let that go. But then in his day to day life, he wants to gain more power. Why? Because… POWER. What is he going to do when he gets it? He doesn’t seem to actually want to make the world any better. He doesn’t seem to be very high maintenance. And he doesn’t seem to have a problem getting the ladies with his current level of political power.

    So he doesn’t seem to have any real use for gaining more political power at all, except to gain more of it. He’s like a dog chasing a car.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    All you Apes look the same to me (wait, that could sound genuienly racist)

  • tOmy`

    I shall leave for a week abroad soon (no worries, I’ll keep talking about music here) but as far as binge-watching TV shows, I will get behind my schedule. But I am gonna get on it asap.

    I wanna see if it really gets worse or not. Because so far, what I am seeing, is really enjoyable.

  • Red Skeleton

    Ooh, good question. Um… I’m thinking. I walked out of Borat… the poo-in-the-bag joke was just too divorced from what I thought the movie was going ot be about. Then I coulnd’t stop laughing about hte parts I did like and went back the next evening. :p

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    When a kid sitting behind me stood up and barfed all over my shoulders, but mostly getting most of his lunch into the back of my shirt.

    Oh, oh you mean the movie? Yeah, Transformers 2.

  • Mark Bisone

    I think that if I were to introduce someone to Plinkett, I’d start with the fourth season premiere of The Grabowskis — the one where Rich plays Fragnon the space rapist. It functions as both a gateway drug and a shibboleth of sorts; if you can’t laugh at the episode, your lens prescription for the universe might be too far afield to appreciate Plinkett’s charms.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    season 2 is still fairly good. it’s with S3 that I feel some major mistakes were made.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    LotR marathon in a small cinema with butt-destroying seats.

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh, no wait, I’ve been dragged to a few films I would never have seen on my own……. The Stepford Wives AKA Go Shove Your Hand Back Up Miss Piggy Frank and Stop Making Movies. White Chicks was bad but not as bad as I thoguht it was going to be… hmmm….

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Same diff

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Butt-destroying is popular at the manhole

  • Amontillado

    Gotta say, you guys keep getting better and better with each review – this series is legit! If it wasn’t already…

  • Red Skeleton

    As a tapeworm do human intestines even look any different from other animals’?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    All the same shit

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It really is.

  • Amontillado

    So when do we get the, “correct,” digitally remastered edition of all these because the original was incomplete?

  • tOmy`

    From my point view: So far, House of Cards was only about power to me. Seriously. It is well written enough for me to care about these characters, but at the same time, I just want to see their “play” in the next powerplay. This show, for me, screams “POWER” – and for that, I am game.

    Kevin’s character therefore being this “A-type” corporate personality, some of us liked to graffiti walls about, who is a crystallization of “control” and “manipulation”. Fair to say, maybe I am more invested in this aspect of “power”, rather than the actual story-line behind it. But so far, it works for me (mind you: as a cheerleader, I studied economics and politics – might be of some relevance to my point of view).

    And at the same time, that is why I love (possibly the best thing for me in the show) his relationship with his wife. That is something I wanna grasp, explore more, see more of. For me, it is a testimony about power and what power does to people and the cost with which this power comes.

    To pitch a very odd example: If there are any Deadwoods fan here, Bullock’s character is, to some degree, very similar puzzle. And that is what makes it great.

  • omitted

    I think much of my gayness stems from the awful seats at my home town’s movie theater. One had to endure some ass torture any time wanting to see the latest blockbuster.

  • Red Skeleton

    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MONTRESOR!

    Edit: Sorry, I don’t know what came over me there.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Supposedly some theaters here in the US are doing all the Marvel Movies before Age of Ultron is released. By the time you’re done with Age of Ultron, it’s 24 hours worth of content.

  • tOmy`

    Press “x” to pay respects.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *Cockbuster.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Seeing The Hobbit movies three years in a row was a true battered housewife experience.Maybe not the worst theatre going experience I’ve had but my god was it depressing.

  • tOmy`

    Noone, tOmy’?

  • Amontillado

    I would, except I’m waiting for the end of this QTE , but it isn’t … and I don’t know when it will …..

  • tOmy`

    Nope.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Hemorrhoids for everyone!

  • omitted

    Touché Touch me

  • tOmy`

    You just (yet again) reminded me that I actually need to see those movies,

    *sigh*

    I am afraid.

  • tOmy`

    I am… just gonna leave it here:

    J.U.S.T.I.F.I.E.D.

    Where are my fanboyettes at? Who is leaving Harlan alive?! 2 episodes to go!

    (I am, embarrassingly, really hyped)

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    They’re not the most horrible things since my son, but if you’re a fan of the LoTR films, it is a major disappointment.

  • Can tapeworms have hemorrhoids?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Can’t think of a particularly bad movie-going experience. And I can’t think of any time I would have been dragged unwillingly to see a movie. Lemme see, I suppose there was a time when I saw Gravity while in Stockholm, and the guy behind me was apparently so excited he kept kicking the back of my seat throughout the movie.

  • tOmy`

    Crap. I am. I remember seeing the extended cuts in row and at the end (few beers passed and a LOT of hours), the only thought that crossed my mind was:

    “Fuck. I want more of this.”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Tapeworm’s a giver.

  • Bubs

    When’s the next episode of ‘Rich and Jack prove once again that they don’t really understand video games’?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Or if you have read the Hobbit novel. That’s what killed it for me, anyway.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’d be a slow slow slow SLOW slow ass suicide for Pa Kent.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You really don’t. Just watch the LotR Extended cuts again instead.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Here are 10 words I want Rich attempt to say after a few cold ones but before its time to dance with his droid. Give him 3 points for each correctly uttered and -10,000 for every wrong one: untenable, prophylaxis, montessori, cacophony, antidisestablishmentarianism, koyaanisqatsi, mokusatsu, petrichor, gyllenhaal, and morbidity.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sweden? Did you see Skarsgard fresh off his win for The Smoking Club?

  • tOmy`

    it’s not about that. In one penisode, they said:

    “Blah blah, everyone plays games, that’s why we don’t need command props, because everyone knows how to “game” now.”

    They just didn’t understand… well, everything else. They get games. It’s the rest that seems a bit fuzzy when it comes to them.

  • tOmy`

    Yep. I am a big sucker for Lord (well, I am a sucker for Pratchett and Vonnegut, but I love LOTR), but Hobbit was a bit “meh” for me in general. I got to it too late.

    Read: after I read the main meal.

  • omitted

    Kävit Ruottissa? Vitun homo!

  • tOmy`

    TOO SOON!

  • tOmy`

    “Big picture” – that was the term drunken tOmy’ was looking for.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What? You lost me at Skarsgard.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Toiveunissas. 😉

  • omitted

    Dick picture*

  • tOmy`

    How could you possibly fuck up morbidity?

    You slice up a human being, while being careful about him / her being alive, you prepare a bowl of lemon juice and some salt and then you start appl-

    OH.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I myself never read the LotR books. I’m not that much into fantasy to bother with those bricks. But I really like the movies, probably because they’re pretty gritty and “realistic” for fantasy movies.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I think the only reason we’re getting the Hobbit Extended films is because the spouse has to have the collection. He can’t just have LOTR and be done with it. He has to complete the set.

  • Red Skeleton

    You know what’s slightly infuriating about this (sort of) repost is I was going to make a joke today about “waiting for them to release a Robert Z’Dar tribute video but not really because that would take actual effort”. And what do they do? The (re)post this shit.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Hey I’d be a suicide for me too.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Well, RLM’s Patreon feed went from $11k to $10.999K for this insult.

    Hopefully they reconsider their actions in the future before trying it again.

  • tOmy`

    Noone #2?

    Jeeez, people, get a grip on and for your own health, check out something badass, cool and entertaining.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Cnl-xa_nFU

    First one to tell me this show is shit, I am gonna praise as a person of unique opinion.

  • Mark Bisone

    The solution is simple, Cream. Just subscribe ten times to the Pre-Rec Twitch service while they are streaming, and use each of these as names.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Same for me, but I think it was transformers 3.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I want to make an account that says “I love you too, Domo.” but that would be silly.

    Whenever I hear them say Mark Bisone, though, I give you an imaginary high five.

  • Red Skeleton

    Hold on, I’m trying to calculate how much 10.999K USD actually is.

  • Mark Bisone

    When the fuck do they say “Mark Bisone?” Were they reading random passages from the DSM?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    A fifty dollar experiment. Even Jake Lloyd isn’t that expensive!

    http://i.imgur.com/ShKXh2b.gif

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    What’s really important is figuring out how much 10.999k is worth in Dirhams.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Mark Bisone! Thank you for subscribing! We very much appreciate it.

  • Mark Bisone

    Ah, okay. If only Jack knew what a burden it is to be appreciated in your own time.

  • Thomas Goresen

    3234423 Dirhams

  • Bubs

    raylan givens, age 45, gave himself up to the authorities after the incident. he is now serving a life sentence.

  • Mark Bisone

    She served that meatball right over the plate! But, still, you whacked it out of Fenway Park.

  • Red Skeleton

    Fenway? What’s a Fenway?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Are you a symptom, cause, or cure?

  • Thomas Goresen

    I’ve been told that I’m a maestro of whacking meat.

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s a place where hobos go to cry about pennants.

  • tOmy`

    So either this was a clever joke and you do watch the show – given the latest.

    Or it was a clever joke while reading the show beforehand. In both cases, good! In one of them: Watch it.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    According to the Standells:
    “Yeah, down by the river
    Down by the banks of the river Charles (aw, that’s what’s happenin’ baby)
    That’s where you’ll find me
    Along with lovers, muggers, and thieves (aw, but they’re cool people)”

  • Red Skeleton
  • Bubs

    Well, I went to see “Jack and Jill” in theater. The movie was hysterical and I had a great time.

    But when I was leaving, I went the wrong way and ended up in a back alley and was brutally gang-raped behind the movie theater. The smell of buttered popcorn still causes flashbacks.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    He’s the prescription.

  • Mark Bisone
  • Mark Bisone
  • WrongWithYourFace

    Was that when you decided to don the cape and cowl?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Do I want to know how he’s taken?

  • tOmy`

    I get your Coldplay and raise you:
    Radiohead Artwork To Be Displayed in New Stanley Donwood Exhibit, The Panic Office

  • Mark Bisone

    TAKEN 4: Taken a Lot of Xanax

  • tOmy`

    … while Martin’s corpse is gonna be displayed in “What could have been great” book, currently being written by Linkin Park.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    In the end it doesn’t even matter.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Speaking of the guys talking on the Homeworld stream about how they’d play a game called “Hands of Steel”, I want to see them play Star Wars: Masters of Teräskäsi.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is Hands of Steel a sequel to the movie with Shaq?

  • Bahareh Khosravi

    Play some Bloodborne you hacks!

  • Palpatine

    Kazaam?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No the shittier movie.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Real Steel? Oh wait, that was Hugh Jackman. I get him and Shaq confused sometimes when I’ve had a few vodka gimlets

  • Red Skeleton

    90’s Man of Steel… the Superman movie with all references to Superman omitted.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Which doesn’t make sense because WB made the movie

  • Red Skeleton

    Well gosh, do you think maybe they didn’t think Superman was marketable anymore? For some reason?
    FOUR. SOME. REASON?
    IV. SOME. REASON?
    SUPERMAN IV. SOME. REASON?

    Edit: I explained the joke just in case nobody got it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe they wanted to introduce him later through Tim Burton’s piece of shit movie

  • omitted

    You called?

  • Red Skeleton

    I mean, there were no giant spiders in it or anything! (No, I’m not going to explain that one).

  • Palpatine

    Shaq Fu? No wait that’s a video game.

  • Red Skeleton

    It’s 2 am and I’m posting nonsense on RLM. I feel like I should be drunk.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No the movie that is shittier than Kazaam

  • Palpatine

    Oh, that stupid ass movie Steel. Yeah, fuck that movie.

  • Red Skeleton

    I thought I had to say your name 3 times to summon you.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i was. now its 12pm and my head hurts… maybe i should get drunk again.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I knew I wasn’t the only one that hated it.

  • Red Skeleton

    Some how… some how I knew writing “2 am” and “drunk” would summon you.

  • omitted

    I ain’t no Candyman. Wanna suck on my lollipop?

  • Palpatine

    I haven’t seen it and yet I hate it.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    where ever people are drunkenly commenting. i will be there.
    its a duty, to mankind.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Same here…

  • Red Skeleton

    I’m a Skeleton. I got no lips you asshole.

  • omitted

    Watch the teeth!

  • RLMkeepitup

    they did on live stream; said they’d do a review soon I think

  • Grandpa Seth

    3-2-3-4, 4-2-3-AND!

  • Red Skeleton

    Posting shit from weeks ago, pretending it’s new? What are you, RLM?! OH….

  • Trask

    Who of you have seen V, the 2009 series? And would you recommend it?

  • RLMkeepitup

    total poetry

  • Red Skeleton

    Hopefully it’ll work.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i like Muse. there i said it sue me!

  • Red Skeleton

    I mean I guess I got a couple of sockets you could lube up if you were desperate enough. Skullfucking’s really the only action I can get these days.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    not over the 80’s version.
    and it doesnt have an end. it got cancel cancer.

  • RLMkeepitup

    any cool documentaries on netflix? just watched one called Cropsey that was spooky!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    do americans not comma their thousands? 1,000

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Revenge of the Sith. because then i realised that Jorge couldnt fix it all with the next movie and that Star Wars was truly dead.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the Generations review was the first thing i watched from Mike. back in the olden days.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    also the evolution of his serial killer persona.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Talk about a tourist destination worthy of a Plinkett recommendation.

    No refunds!

  • Red Skeleton

    No we do. I’m just losing my mind.

  • Now I Get It

    RLM’s forgotten man. Mike is my buoy.

  • Red Skeleton

    Spain, for example, does the opposite.

  • Red Skeleton

    Now that’s just racist.

  • Trask

    Thank you, sweetheart.

  • Red Skeleton

    Fuck Mint Condition, No Box. I expect my webvideos to be NRFB when I get them.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    they dont lose their minds?

  • Palpatine

    So according to the Google currency converter, 20000 Dirham is equal to $5444.92. Just throwin’ that out there.

  • Red Skeleton

    So…. ok, serious question. I know Mitchell is much-beloved and POSSIBLY gets special privilege, but otherwise what’s the policy on using this as a forum for trying to beg patreon/indiegogo donations from people? I wouldn’t want to make anybody upset with spam but at the same time some people genuinely enjoy funding small projects and, you know, maybe I know someone who’s trying to hit a target for their film project. Maybe.

  • RLMkeepitup

    republic credits will do fine

  • Red Skeleton

    No, they won’t! What? You think you’re some kind of Jazz artist, waving your hand around like that?

  • Palpatine

    There’s always a bigger fish.

  • Red Skeleton

    I have saved Jar Jar Bink’s life. He owes me what you call a “blood debt”.

    Edit: After completely fucking up the Galactic Senate and inadvertently causing the deaths of millions Jar-Jar turned himself into the police. He is currently serving a life sentence.

  • Palpatine

    Blblblblblblblbl! Be gone wit him!

  • Percy Gryce

    Misspelled “mispelled” too!

  • Thanatos2k

    This game is on my Steam wish list waiting for the inevitable 50% off during the Summer Sale.

  • Palpatine

    You call this a diplomatic solution?

  • James Earl Jones

    Da speediest way to da Naboo tis going through… De planet coare. Now, go.

  • James Earl Jones

    Yes, they did say it. Well, Jack did. He also said that there will be a new Plinkett review tomorrow.

  • Thanatos2k

    A game that tries to make you care about the story and fails is far worse than a game that doesn’t try to make you care about the story and succeeds in making you care.

  • Thanatos2k

    One copy of Aidyn Chronicles: The First Mage coming right up!

  • Thanatos2k

    It’s less The Room and more Troll 2. Or both at the same time.

  • Thanatos2k

    Fraud Wars Episode IV: A New Hope For A Space Cop Release Date

  • Thanatos2k

    Hey thanks for reminding me, it’s time for my monthly watch of them.

  • Thanatos2k

    It’s really only for the Generations review that it sounds weird. It quickly gets better in the next two.

  • Thanatos2k

    Phantom Menace is still the best one. Then Revenge of the Sith, then Indiana Jones. Then Insurrection.

  • Thanatos2k

    The prequels made me like Star Trek more than Star Wars.

    Then the Star Trek reboots (and Enterprise season 4) flipped it back around.

  • Thanatos2k

    She’s….beautiful.

  • Thanatos2k

    I was watching it. It was good. Then it died.

  • Thanatos2k

    Is Jack wearing a Reading Rainbow Kickstarter shirt?

  • dejectedchuckle

    I am going to have to marathon this season soon I think. Maybe just to watch the finale live.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Jaysus christ superstar is on tv.
    i havent seen it in years. its quite well made.
    shame Loydweber cant write lyrics for shit. man he sux.

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • Palpatine

    I think it’s more of the performance of the singers is his musicals is what makes them good.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This party’s over.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think it’s adorable that they coordinated. Shinobi’s obvi in the friendzone and the Death card is just waiting for the next Plinkett review.

  • Palpatine

    It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force, but by our skills with a Lightsaber.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I get paid more than that as an underpaid actor.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It’s probably just a celebration.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    COME TO YOUR SENSES!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Wull why would the Jedi have lightthsabers if they weren’t gonna thswordfight?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    20,000 Dirham! Those guys must really be desperate.

  • Palpatine

    From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of you. And now that I’m with you again… I’m in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you- I can’t breath. I’m haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating… hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me… what can I do?- I will do anything you ask … if you are suffering as much as I am, PLEASE, tell me.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I can’t… We can’t… It’s not possible.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Always with you it cannot be done.

  • Palpatine

    You’re asking me to be rational. That is something that I know I cannot do. Believe me, I wish I could just wish away my feelings, but I can’t.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, you listen! We live in a real world; come back to it. You’re studying to become a Jedi, I’m… I’m a senator. If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion, they will take us to a place we cannot go, regardless of the way we feel about each other.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Wash it away with the blood of Sand People! Gets emotional stains out real good!

  • Palpatine

    Annie? Little Annie? Naaah! You are Annie! It is you! Ya sure sprouted! Weehoo! A Jedi! Waddya know? Hey, maybe you couldda help wit some deadbeats who owe me a lot of money…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    George Lucas brings da FEELS.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?

  • Palpatine

    If only Senator Amidala where here.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I have successfully made contact with the Prime Minister of Kamino. They are using a bounty hunter named Jango Fett to create a clone army. I have a strong feeling that this bounty hunter is the assassin we’re looking for.

  • Palpatine

    Jedi business. Go back to your drinks.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No. You’re right. It would destroy us all.

  • Palpatine

    I guess I was wrong, there was no danger at all.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    and the music. cant fault the man on his composing skills.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Welcome home, Lord Tyranus. You have done well.

  • Palpatine

    The overture to The Phantom of the Opera kicks ass.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    ‘Touching the Void’ if you have not seen it is a trip to hell for two mountain climbers, one physically, one emotionally.

  • Palpatine

    You’re not all-powerful, Ani.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I HATE THEM!

  • Palpatine

    Mmm. Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. How embarrassing.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its inside my MIND!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Do you believe what Count Dooku said about Sidious controlling the Senate? It doesn’t feel right.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    If Someone Asks If Your A GOD! YOU SAY YES!!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So have you… grown more beautiful, I mean

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he slimed me

  • Palpatine

    She’s not my mother, Todd!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    your foster parents are dead.

  • Palpatine

    No problemo.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    wolfies fine honey,

  • Palpatine

    Say… That’s a nice bike…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    morning dr Silberman hows the knee?

  • Palpatine

    I know now why you cry. But it’s something I can never do.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    it is in your nature to destroy yourselves.

  • Palpatine

    No, no, no, no. You gotta listen to the way people talk. You don’t say “affirmative,” or some shit like that. You say “no problemo.” And if someone comes on to you with an attitude you say “eat me.” And if you want to shine them on it’s “hasta la vista, baby.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    easy money.

  • DoobzMcgee

    Rich Evans drops an F-bomb at 2:30

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m a cop you idiot! I’m detective John Kimble!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    …drops it right into our hearts.

  • Palpatine

    Watching John with the machine, it was suddenly so clear. The Terminator, would never stop. It would never leave him, and it would never hurt him, never shout at him, or get drunk and hit him, or say it was too busy to spend time with him. It would always be there. And it would die, to protect him. Of all the would-be fathers who came and went over the years, this thing, this machine, was the only one who measured up. In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    i need your pantaloons, sorry clothes.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’m the bearded lady what are you? one of the freaks?!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Put that cookie down! NOW!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Wyatt, “By the way, why are we wearing bras on our heads?”
    Gary, “Ceremonial.”

  • Palpatine

    Come back you fat bearded bitch!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    can we call it “putting the cookie to sleep”? its less traumatic for the kids.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    i love that movie. i dont remember any lines. because bewbs.

  • Palpatine

    You forgot to say please…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i said sorry! what do you want from me?

  • Palpatine

    Please insert your stolen card now.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    this is why i didnt join in the other Quote games. i get distracted by shiny things and…
    Who loves the Shining?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I haven’t given up on movies just yet. Both “Weird Science” and “Real Genius” thankfully have withstood the remake craze. Perhaps there’s some dignity left in Hollywood after all.

  • Palpatine

    It’s my favorite movie of all time!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i never understood how the ribbon cable stayed attached to the card and how the copper pins at the end where able to manipulate the MAGNETIC strip.
    logically he should have used a Sony Walkman.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    fuck you! you posted it online!!! now its going to happen. what where you thinking.

  • Palpatine

    Why, have you used a Walkman to hack an ATM?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “I love the little son-of-a-bitch.”

    I’m going to go be quiet now.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    is it wrong that i relate to Jack?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So I’m looking at the names of these senators in the Episode 2 script. Senator Ask Aak.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Shit. Maybe if I suggest a live-action “Jetsons” movie they’ll hold off?

  • Palpatine
  • Andrew Thompson.

    no… but the magnetic tech in a walkman is the same as the strip on cards.
    and my criminal history related to Sony Walkmans is covered under your 5th amendment.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why? Did you like Supergirl because you grew up on a farm?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no they wont
    its Rule 34.A subclause ii.
    if Hollywould can fuck your childhood for money they will.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    All Hollywood needs is Rule of Acquisition 1: Once you have their money you NEVER GIVE IT BACK.

  • Palpatine

    Other senators include, but are not limited to; Orn Free Taa, Mas Amedda, and Dar Wac.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “A second pod moves into the centre of the area with DARSANA, the AMBASSADOR OF GLEE ANSELM.”

  • Palpatine

    The guy who tried to sell Obi-Wan death stick’s was called Elan Sleazebaggano.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Zam Wessel is the lady who tried to kill Padme, the one hired by Boba Fett

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Almost makes “Luke Starkiller” seem reasonable.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What’s next? Poe Dameron?

  • Palpatine

    The Separatist leaders (besides Nute Gunray) that Dooku meets are called; Poggle the Lesser, Sun Rit, Shu Mai, Passel Argente, Wat Tambor, Po Nudu, Tessek, Toonbuck Toora, and San Hill.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Besides the stupid names the script is horrible. Take a look at this:
    “OBI-WAN and ANAKIN look up yo see an ARMOURED ROCKET-MAN taking off from a roof high above. OBI-WAN looks down at ZAM. He touches her neck and pulls out a small, wicked-looking dart.”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Look, its this or a criminal mastermind named Bill.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    mostly for the bewbs and the skirt.
    also i didnt grow up on a farm, i just live on one.
    i grew up in a rainforest.

    http://m.visitvictoria.com/~/media/Images/Yarra-Valley-and-Dandenong-Ranges/Outdoor-Activities/sherbrooke_forest_yvdr_u_920673_503x283.jpg?as=1&w=1400&cp=50

  • Palpatine
  • Wizard Phoenix

    He was probably high off of Aunt Beru’s blue milk

  • Andrew Thompson.

    it smells all “Tru Dat”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Augie Ben Doggie?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Captain Typho?” That’s the guys name? Captain Typo? George…

  • Joe Syxpac

    By “planet core” I assume he means the planet core. Like, the center? Usually that’s what a core is.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    By the way check how this comparison of her and Lost in Translation

    https://vimeo.com/123658390

  • Joe Syxpac

    Can’t break pots?

    Fuck this game.

  • Chewbacca

    ..and I like Terminator Salvation.

    BAM

  • tOmy`

    I don’t mind them, but feels like post Black Holes they went a little bit overboard. I think they should either stick to that Queen / Radiohead -esque music, or at least not be over the place all the time. Sometimes it can come off as cringeworthy and douchy – not mentioning the times when it feels like their attempts flat out failed.

  • tOmy`

    I would say that this line was pretty much the last nail in the coffin for me.

    But then again, there is like an hour and 30 minutes of the movie before that.

  • tOmy`

    I said it many times: Her LEGO minifig is possibly the greatest thing to ever come out of this shit:

    http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/lego/images/9/95/Zam_Wessell_face1.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20101130035010

  • tOmy`

    Look, they actually improvised “I failed you” line by Corrde, the dead decoy chick.

    Impressive.

  • tOmy`

    “ARTOO lets out a small whimper and rolls off after them.”

    Yea, seems about right. FUCK YOU, movie.

  • tOmy`

    Why didn’t Padme or Jar Jar Cunt meet Obi and Annie moar times during the time between The Jorge Manace and Bagpipes: The Movie? I know Coruscant is probably a big place, but still. If Jedis are the defenders of Republic, I guess they hang around senate quite often, no? Or you know, they could have met in like an opera. Or that really cool bar downtown.

    What? Who brought up this script? This is like reliving your worst nightmare…

  • tOmy`

    I mean, come the fuck on, Padme, that little kid fucking saved your people by spinning his spaceship into the doughnut. Show some gratitude, invite him for a tea once a decade or something. This is fucking bizarre…

  • tOmy`

    “It’s not an intruder I’m worried about. There are many other ways to kill a Senator.”

    But I guess they all somehow include someone intruding this fucking place.

  • Bubs

    tOmy bud… You’re talking to yourself like Andrew… It’s starting to scare me.

  • tOmy`

    I am recovering from a hangover by commenting on a webzone that is to be blamed for said hangover.

    There is nothing as vomit inducing as having a coffee, cigie and reading Attack of the Clones script.

  • Bubs

    It’s cool. I get it. My brother’s an alcoholic too.

  • tOmy`

    OBI-WAN
    (continuing)
    Yiiii, what are you doing?

    ANAKIN
    Sorry, Master!

    OBI-WAN
    (sarcastically)
    Oh, that was good…

    ANAKIN
    That was crazy!!!

  • tOmy`

    OBI-WAN
    Do you know who it was you were
    trying to kill?

    No, bounty hunters are usually trying to keep themselves as much in shadows as possible. It makes the job more exciting.

  • tOmy`

    And look at this masterpiece:

    PADMÉ
    I used to think if you looked too
    deeply into glass, you would
    lose yourself.

    ANAKIN
    I think it’s true…

  • omitted

    Just the way I like ’em: Young, numb and well hungover.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What, you mean to tell me that it wasn’t the the writer of the Visual Dictionary, but ol’ Jorge himself, who came up with the names?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I see you

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i see dead people. i should bury them…

  • Mr_Wint

    What am I doing now?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Not before you smell them

  • TapewormBikeForever

    (shudders)

  • Mr_Wint

    That’s a LOTR quote form the FOTR isn’t it?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    who would have thought Mr Kidd was so flexible Mr Wint

  • Mr_Wint

    Just listened to ‘Into the West’, (single saxon tear).

  • Mr_Wint

    People are capable of things you couldn’t even imagine Mr. Thompson.

  • Mr_Wint

    (gets not-so-oddly aroused by your shudders)

  • tOmy`

    Dude, let me put some pants on first.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Fuck no!

  • Buk Pravon

    Okay, okay. Just please don’t call the FEDs. 🙁

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • TapewormBikeForever

    Moon Child!!!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats what Jack Parsons said, when he had sex with L. Ron Hubbard.

  • omitted

    Ha! I bet you can’t know (guess) what I did for the past hour.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    masturbating thinking about Jay? I mean your awake, sooo…..

  • omitted

    99% of the time you would be correct, but not now.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I just realized that “Sleazebaggano” isn’t much of a stretch from “Greedo”. I guess Greedo isn’t quite as obvious, though.

  • omitted

    In his gayness?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    No, that’s Greedo’s brother, Gaydo.

  • omitted

    I thought that was the name of Jay’s hair nowadays.

  • omitted

    No answer for me then, Mr. Tapeworm? Didn’t think so. Now if I could only stop that pesky Jennifer from spying on me through the fifth dimension portal in my book case…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    we all have to comment sometimes.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    she can do that!?
    i’m moving my book case.

  • omitted

    So you stop your fapping to comment? Amateur…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    only sometimes…

  • Sesame Street will never be the same. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wg4JcEMBCAs

  • Red Skeleton

    Long as it’s not got Katy Perry’s cleavage in it it’s OK to air.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    as opposed to Bert and Ernie?

    https://youtu.be/Z1R8zrVuWP4

    50 shades of muppet.

  • I pretty much agree with the general points Plinkett had made. Kate just wanted Jack’s manhood in her squishbox, in her vagoon, in her vajala… I mean that Cameron’s good at action and putting characters in places. He’s just not good at writing actual characters themselves. Visually, the film is stunning and it shows his and his crew’s technical prowess. It would have benefited from a better script, greatly.

  • Red Skeleton

    So let’s talk about the Half in the Bag universe… Jay and Mike are characters… played by Jay and Mike. Rich Evans plays a variety of guest roles BUT Rich Evans also is a character in some of the early episodes. (“Our friend Rich Evans was in town and we showed him [Samurai Cop]” / “HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!!!”) Has Rich Evans, the character, ever appeared in Half in the Bag in person?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    both

  • tOmy`

    You see people.

  • Red Skeleton

    Go on….

  • Red Skeleton

    For example, Robocop. Was he playing a character (e.g. A Planning Inspector. a Comic book artist) or was he just Rich Evans that episode?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i “Sea” people. its nicer than “Dumping body’s at sea.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he was a cop. pay attention.

  • Red Skeleton

    Fuck off! It’s been, like a year.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you have a whole long weekend to learn youngling.

    http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-robocop/

  • tOmy`

    Believe it or not, I have something you may find interesting. And no it’s not herpes, but a nice link to a small web project by David Lynch called Interview Project. It’s a bit older, but it’s a great idea:

    http://interviewproject.davidlynch.com/www/#/about

    Next time I bring something up, I will try to make it both interesting and on topic…
    Well… let’s not get carried away…

  • Red Skeleton

    Or you could answer the bloody question: Has Rich Evans ever appeared as himself in HitB.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    people keep talking about this mythical “topic”
    ITS NOT REAL!

  • tOmy`

    Going off topic may be just a hand of fate.

    ba-dum-tss-tss-tss-tss-I’ll cue you-tss-tss

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i dont remember it. but i dont remember my 18th birthday…. long story.

  • omitted

    Jay is always top(ical), clearly.

  • Now I Get It

    Interview Project seems to be about going off-topic, off-road, one thing off of another. It reminds me of Rainn Wilson’s Soul Pancake.

    Also, Valacyclovir, but only because I had shingles. Not herpes. Shingles.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’m so drunk i’m thinking in french! at least i think its french, i dont speak french…. french!
    Bonne nuit mes amis.

    https://youtu.be/7HkwEZCoK6w

  • Now I Get It

    That is some old school variety right there. It looks like their DVDs might be a rarity. Pity.

  • Big Mclargehuge

    These men are pawns

  • Mr_Wint

    My brain definitely noticed that I watched this a week ago…

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    when drowning in the religious filth of Easter remember the atheist national anthem.

    https://youtu.be/buqtdpuZxvk

  • Now I Get It

    Aaargh! Yet another reason to buy a multi-region player.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Pazuzu!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    It’s not filth, Andrew, it’s chocolate!

  • omitted

    I see you’ve found my kryptonite.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    No wonder you have those fat thighs…

  • Palpatine

    So there was a new Jurassic World ad posted a few days ago, and no one shared it. Until now:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaWuNjHH2xA

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    ♫ You’re a mean one, Mr. Palpatine… You really… are… a Sheev! ♫

    “She’s killing for sport.” Great line-read there, Pratt.

  • Palpatine

    Hey, I uploaded that for Omitted, you know how much he likes Prabs.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Then it’s a terrible promo. His shirt’s not even off. :<

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Don’t blame me for your bizarrely literary glory holes. :<

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Tis a good song, tis.

  • VvdD

    Still sounds nicer than “Dumping seamen in bodies.”

  • RLMkeepitup

    the park and its inhabitants are looking a bit computer generated

  • VvdD

    Mmmmh, now that you mention it, it does look a slightly bit computer generated. I wonder if more people noticed?

  • Palpatine

    And here I was thinking the dinosaurs were real.

  • RLMkeepitup

    They may be taking some artistic liberties with the dinos
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R60ElTKJCC4

  • Palpatine

    Am I the only one who doesn’t really care for feathered dinosaurs? Please tell me I’m not alone.

  • omitted

    I want my dinos like I want my Prabs: bare.

  • VvdD

    It depends. Although I feel you, I have seen some really cool concept art that actually makes them look managing… But if they do it wrong, yeah.. hey look like big ass chickens.

    Case in point, this looks cool:

    http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1399185/SgSJk.jpg

    This does not:

    http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–HshDJ0Zj–/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/813266302148042132.jpg

    All in all it doesn’t matter though, it’s a movie and in this movie universe, dinosaurs didn’t have feathers (for the most part)

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Totally. So 70’s / early 80’s.

  • VvdD

    That’s hilarious, my mind already knew that scene was complete bullshit, but having someone measure it to confirm was entertaining.

  • Palpatine

    The second one looks like a cross between a chicken and a monitor lizard.

  • VvdD

    That’s an accurate description. Funny thing is, the second one is probably done by “scienzy” people, so is more likely to be accurate.

  • Bahareh Khosravi

    Oh, my bad. My twitch account’s a jerk, it didn’t tell me!

  • Palpatine

    So since today is Good Friday, I have to ask; has anyone here seen The Last Temptation of Christ? I haven’t seen it and would you recommended it?

  • tOmy`

    Where the hell did I heard that tune before?

  • Snake Squeezer

    All Scorsese is worth watching.

  • omitted

    Is Hollywood’s my conditioning starting to stick?

  • omitted

    I’m just big-bonered…

  • Palpatine

    He makes the best films!

  • My ex wife

    I’m going to buy a book case!

  • omitted

    Show off!

  • My ex wife

    Scarlett is so pretty.
    Bill is so cool.
    Your tash is so nice.

  • Like Icare

    It’s the most badass axe-swinging, beating-heart-from-own-chest-tearing Jesus (moneylender scene is also priceless) accompanied by apostles played by the actors you’ll instantly recognize as hard cases (Harvey Keitel as Judas, Victor Argo as Peter) and there’s a twist ending. Oh… and David Bowie as Pilate.

    Basically, if you have to watch a Jesus movie, that’s the one to watch.

  • Like Icare

    He makes the best films.

  • Like Icare

    AKA Mouse from the Matrix. Where he tries to sell virtual sex to Neo.

    I see a pattern emerging…

  • My ex wife

    Oh god! I hope you’re just making that up.

  • My ex wife

    I’d just be thrilled to think that somebody might notice me. 😀

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I really don’t like the way that lady shouts “run”. That’s all I gotta say.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Also, Peter Gabriel did the music, which is a plus for me anyway.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Oh youuu~ *girly slaps*

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Nope! The mother apologized at least. She even bought me a new shirt!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I would recommend it – its one of those movies that does not feel its length and who’s soundtrack is almost better than the visuals we’re given to work with. Willem Dafoe was impressive considering his type-casting but Harvey Keitel…not so much.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    This is all the French I know and, not coincidentaly, only when I’m drunk:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGFH-DZkz64

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Think of it as a smaller scale of ‘Synedoche, New York’ with realities and situations blending into each other. That’s how I cope.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yea, maybe free his mom from slavery? You’d think that’d have come up in the conversation after victory.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Am I the only one that thinks Keitel is one of the most overrated actors ever?

  • RLMkeepitup

    I recommend the legend of awesomest maximus instead

  • Palpatine

    I looked that up and saw it’s another “quality film” from National Lampoon.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    To me he seems limited in ability but very good at what he does. I think his best performance was one of his first –
    Who’s That Knocking at My Door
    pretty much established the ‘Keitel Template’ and has been stamping out movies ever since with a few repairs here and there to keep the edges sharp.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Can this movie be remade/rebooted? Will we see Skrillex as Judas, James Franco as Jesus, and direction by Harmony Korine?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Oh itsanotsobad once you figure out what He wants:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjOONfbaH4M

  • RLMkeepitup

    haha yes , I laughed through most of it. Great party movie

  • Palpatine

    RLM should do their own parody called The Last Temptation of Mike. Starring Mike as Jesus, Jay as Judas, Jessi as Mary Magdalene, Jack as Pontius Pilate, Josh as St. Paul, and Rich Evans as Satan.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Add Crazy Fat Ethel as Mother Mary and I’m in.

  • Palpatine

    Can you imagine just Rich Evans’ laugh as demonic sounding? It would most likely sound like this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdjeVoSJqgo

  • Like Icare

    Pity it stops just as it starts getting so bad it’s good.
    “That’s one wicked looking dart.” would have been an instant classic.
    Like “Do not want!” level of meme.

  • Like Icare

    Captain Typhoid?
    Catchy.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    An ‘actual’ Oh my Gaaaaaawd.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    He served under Admiral Nefarious.

  • My ex wife

    The kids name wasn’t Chunk was it?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I keep wondering when Peter Gabriel is going to run out of sides of greatness that get pulled from him by others, in this case Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. I still listen to Mustt Mustt all these years later and find new ways to be impressed by it still.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Holy shit I thought you were joking but this exists and it has the Sklar brothers in it. I thought their show, ‘Cheap Seats’ was uneven but at least different at the time.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    For a second I thought you meant ‘Last Temptation of Christ’ was a great party movie. I guess if you’re Roman, maybe?

  • Bubs

    If you’re interested in that movie, you might also enjoy “White Guilt Part 2: Native Americans”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Most underrated movie score? Mine is the score to Her.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Score to her? I don’t even know her!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No I mean the movie I was in. Score to Her is from director Nick Philips.

  • Like Icare

    Isn’t Skrillex already a reboot of Corey Feldman, or whichever it is of the Coreys that is still not dead?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Didn’t everyone raved about the score to Her?Arcade Fire ain’t obscure no sir.

    My pick would be Upstream Color.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It lost to Gravity and so no one talks about except for Koreans. No joke, go to the youtube comments and a bunch of Koreans are there.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Since it is Friday and I am all pilled up I’ll go ahead and say it knowing the controversy it creates every. time. i. bring. it. up. There never were 2 Coreys, let alone 1 Skrillex or 1 Corey. All three are a gestalt of hyper intelligent Canadian weasels, Asian Cyber Squirrels, and the Panem Masked Rabbit that can form either of them on a moments notice. True story.

  • Palpatine

    Truly this man was the son of schlock.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Gravity had a score? All I remember is Sandra Bullock’s heavy breathing.

  • Like Icare

    So why do we now only see one (Or was it two?) aspect of the weasel-squirrel-rabbit being?
    Is it a sign or something?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Her heaving breath was the score.

  • Like Icare

    I like feathered dinosaurs.

    Particularly grilled. Or cooked with rice. Or potatoes. Or made into a pate.

    A feathered dino-soup is a very popular folk remedy for common cold and its eggs are a staple breakfast food and a major ingredient of most cakes.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I actually really like that score. They used music to supplant for sound effects in a number of ways (gets around the quiet space problem).

    The script, on the other hand? Burn in hell… -_-

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Big surprise! They should call you Biased Phoenix.

  • Palpatine

    It’s over Anakin, I have the high ground!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Being held over his head doesn’t count as an advantage. 😛

  • Palpatine

    Are you threatening me, Master Jedi?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Is that like a less catchy version of “sock it to me!”?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Oh, I love that movie! Especially the part where Sully dies. I love the taste of all those salty-sweet tears on my popcorn… Nomnom.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I believe in the prophecy. How does it go? Something like, “When the Lost Boys return to the Goonies, and a marsupial rips the sky, and the Red Letter Media Empire rises, then you and I must die(t). From Lake Michigan, He rises, creating armies on either shore, turning man against his Jay who will be turned to dust.” The Book of the Worst predicted it all.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    This weapon is your life!

  • Palpatine

    Another happy landing.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I’ma mushroom-cloud-laying muthafucka, muthafucka. Every time my fingers touch brain, I’m Supafly-TNT. I’m the Guns of the Navaronne.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Just what in the hell do you think you’re doing?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyod8UV9a74

  • Palpatine

    It’s treason, then…

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    ^ Who dis nigga on dat nag?

  • Palpatine

    I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend. At last, the Jedi are no more.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    The Senate will decide your fate.
    (Clearly the best retort!)
    …*mike drop*

  • Palpatine

    I am the Senate!

  • My ex wife
  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Well fuck… Yoda? You got anything?

  • My ex wife

    I just watched Real Genius, it was not bad. Tears for Fears on the end credits did it for me!
    Also, what happend to Val Kilmer. He used to be good, just like Mel Gibson.

  • Bubs

    Why are you guys still doing this?

  • Jason Ross

    ‘HAND OF FATE’ SOUNDS LIKE MY BACHELOR PARTY

  • Palpatine

    Because, reasons.

  • Bubs

    Unacceptable.

  • Palpatine

    There’s really nothing to talk about.

  • Jason Ross

    hANDJOB jOKE卍

  • Jason Ross

    sORRY tHAT wAS sUPPOSED tO bE A ™

  • Bubs
  • Palpatine

    What year is that site from?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Oh great. The links on the site contain a virus.

    Kinda fitting, really.

  • Navon Sensei

    That was a pretty weak episode. Least amout of editing so far.

  • Navon Sensei

    The comments of your page really suck. Almost nothing is on topic or of any substance.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    there was a topic?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We should quote the Phantom Menace in chronological order in the film. I’ll begin.
    Yes, sir?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sorry, m’lady.

  • Bubs

    Yeah, RLM! Fix your fucking fanbase! It’s clearly broken. What am I paying you hacks for?

  • Cakefarts
  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    What an asshole. He doesn’t even include a Life Day song on his album.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Val Kilmer had and probably still has potential. I liked ‘Spartan’ but that was 11 years ago and on top of that it feels like a much older movie, both for good and bad reasons. ‘Real Genius’ is the best kind of 80s fizz and is much more important to film history than I think even its creators indeded. Also, William Atherton. WillYUM Atherton. Say no more.

  • James Earl Jones

    There’s a “Captain” before that.
    Then “Yes, sir?”
    Then “Tell them we wish to board at once.”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I get the feeling that if I put on the special sunglasses from ‘They Live’ the cover of this would say, “Obey & Buy Me”.

  • Palpatine

    And the rest is pretty much this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss2hULhXf04

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Still waiting for an answer. ‘Who would win in a fight between CHAPPiE and ROTOR?”.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Johnny 5. he has that cool laser.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i love that movie.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    True dat, but how can a laser be cool? Wouldn’t it burn your faaaaace?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Is it cooler than Wall-e, who can melt your heart from cuteness?

    The answer is probably yes, but man I love that little robot.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    a superconducting laser would be cool. i mean not the beam but the super conductor would.

  • RLMkeepitup

    ohh maybe you’re thinking of the Passion of the Christ.. great popcorn flick!

  • James Earl Jones

    They use some shit to make the laser cool, right? Like liquid nitrogen? Or was it dioxicine? I can’t remember.

  • RLMkeepitup

    but it’s only 2 feet higher thou

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Fascinating. A laser is, then, the perfect balance of hot & cold mercy. No wonder I feel so righteous.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i like dihydrogen-monoxide.

  • James Earl Jones

    It costs seven wupiupi.

  • James Earl Jones

    That chemical compound is very toxic. Do not ingest it.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    soooo… Obi Wans a top then?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i try not to but they put it in so many foods and drinks. DAMN YOU BIG BUSINESS!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The film ‘How to Get Ahead in Advertising’ spelled it out:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQc-zD7WrzA

  • James Earl Jones

    Invasion! Of boring…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Damn African refugees taking acting jobs from real English people! go back to where you came from Richard E. Grant.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yes. Nothing like Biblical torture-porn for your informal social event. I personally try to push one of the tribulation movies like ‘The Judgement’ with Mr. T & Corbin Bernsen but they’re a hard sell.

  • Palpatine

    The Iron Giant would win by default.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Wut about the ‘Maria’ robot from Metropolis (1927)?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Robocop, All Terminators ever, Robbie, Kryten, HAL(technically not a robot but that bitch was DEVIOUS) the Dalekscybermenborg(all the same thing.) Replicators, SimulantsReplicantsBioloidsAndroids,
    and your mum.

  • Palpatine

    I’m sure V.I.C.K.I. from Small Wonder can kick all their asses.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    damn! i forgot sex bots!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Apparently pedophilia was fair game for sitcom fodder in the 80s. I recall the stars of the show reuniting and being surprised how long the show lasted and that it was remembered with anything other than disgust. No wishy-washy statements or Samuel L. Jackson ‘These Jedi’s get jacked’ bullshit commentary.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Mmm, Gort, klatuu barada nom.

  • Palpatine

    Small Wonder was about pedophilia?

  • SumChooter

    Is it just me or do Jack and Rich look like two different varieties of potato?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    With that forehead of his I thought he was from Metaluna.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yes. She was not created to find emotions and gain experience growing up as an android (or artificial person, if you prefer) in a typical ‘American’ household. Her outfit and basic programming are clearly that of an eternal tween. Another example is the original story for ‘A.I.’ was much darker in the end than the movies. Another pour ayjemplow is that Twilight Zone episode ‘The Lateness of the Hour’ where the ‘parents’ ultimately reduce their ‘daughter’ to that of a masseuse.

    A reboot of Small Wonder would no doubt tackle this and become something like Orphan Black meets D.A.R.Y.L. meets the In-Betweeners meets Dawsons Creek. Maybe it could even have a Christian theme, thats popular with people who have money and I haven’t stopped liking money.

  • Palpatine

    Would say that other sitcoms like Full House had sexual undertones?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    A gewgewgle search for ‘star wars anal beads’ is void of results. I see an opportunity here. The closest thing was this fellow, although I wouldn’t be surprised it it was a trap:
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BCXAJ7vCcAAyz5t.jpg

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yes. In the United States little girls are sexualized early. Witness the baby girls ‘I hate my thighs’ onesies:
    http://www.mirror.co.uk/usvsth3m/shop-sells-i-hate-thighs-5452027

    Child beauty pageants are still a going business/phenomena. Full House not only had the twins but a bachelor dad and creepy uncle in the basement. The only thing missing was Joey’s panel van, a roll of duct tape in the glove box, and some bungee cords to really go out there and do something that’ll be remembered.

  • Palpatine

    Don’t forget Joey had a puppet called Mr. Woodchuck who liked anything to do with wood.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The casting of ‘dirty’ comedian Bob Saget was clearly no accident. But what is their end-game? Where is this going decades later? Will Fuller House be a prequel, reboot, or hey while we’re all going down on each other, single camera cinema verite? I mean, why not?

  • Palpatine

    Methinks you’re looking a little too deeply into this. No offence.

  • Cakefarts

    Can Chappie have a few lengths of rope?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yes, we’ll toss them from somewhere off screen.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    None taken. I’m certain the Disqustapo sure would appreciate we pull it back a bit to PG-13.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    From the people behind ‘Predator: The Musical’ comes Beauty & the Beast. NSFW unless you are omitted.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2QKDfAiTq4

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well I fucked up. Let’s not do this again. Jimmy.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    What do you expect? We’ve gone practically feral from neglect!
    Look at poor Andrew, no one’s changed his diaper in weeks! ;_;
    Whyy, RLM-mummy-daddy, whyyy??

  • Wizard Phoenix

    KoTOR is a video game you dolt

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about Samantha from Her?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Halp. I can hardly keep my eyes open through that summary.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    You sure we aren’t talking about KRULL?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Here’s something I wanna to ask. Have you ever slowly start to become hostile towards a movie? It could start off good but as it continues you start you hate it. For me it’s that movie I was in called Brother Bear. As soon as you hear Phil Collins you start to consider suicide.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Skrulls are from Marvel, you dolt.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Wull, wut about Hawk the Slayer?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Definitely Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Ebon Hawk is KoTOR

  • Wizard Phoenix

    FINALLY! Someone agrees with me!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Et tu, Wizard? You’ve won this round, but where will you go from here?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hopefully not to provide my voice to some shitty Disney movie with Phil Collins songs.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Anyways, Hawk the Slayers rubbish so I hear:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWDWl_nEcoY

  • Cream-A-Thon

    When Phil Collins retired I asked, aloud to no-one, “Why now and not 20 years ago?”.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I was really enjoying the first half of Scott Hipster-Wank Douchbag the first time I saw it in the theater, but once I saw where the story went, I can’t even sit through that film properly anymore. My head just turns to: murder, murder, murder, murder, gorilla rape, murder.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I was sitting next to him at the premier of that piece of shit and throughout the whole screening I wanted to punch him because of his songs. Fuck Phil Collins.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’d buy an app that let me punch a celebrity in the faaaaace.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I am Legend‘ comes to mind. I was enjoying the first act and started to buy into the second but it just turned into inert action shlock, the worst kind.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I’m sure this must have been posted somewhere before, but I’ll risk it for it’s awesomeness:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXCFABnp0wk

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The studio changed the movie for some reason

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    *jaw goes slack* ………………………………….

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Damn shame but inevitable, the other versions were all over the map. I like movies with deserted cities, landscapes, space stations, and “the like”.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I couldn’t make it very far, either. I even read the comic book after to see if they changed the story someway to make it better or worse, but they stayed true to the comic book. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

    The only positive I got out of it was learning about Mike Relm, who makes awesome movie remixes.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPvU8FH6oL4

  • Kaitscralt

    kill me

  • Domo_Konnichiwa
  • Cream-A-Thon

    The fix may already be in:
    http://www.deathclock.com/

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Good lord, that cat is even more depressive than I am!

  • Bubs

    This made me think of “Oz the Great and Powerful”. If that movie was only 15 minutes long and consisted only of the schlocky black and white intro, it would be in my top 12 favorite movies of all time. Alas… the movie continues and so do my thoughts of suicide.

  • Bubs

    From what I hear, the book is better. In the book Will Smith’s character is captured by the zombie creatures (we’ll just call them Morlocks coz fuck it). The Morlocks are terrified of him and they keep him locked up and he’s viewed as a monster. Over time, he begins to realize that they have become the dominant race on earth, and they view him as some hideous abomination.

    I can see why they threw that ending out, however. You wouldn’t want audiences to actually learn something or feel something when they watch your movie. Heaven for-fucking-bid they should THINK about your movie after they leave the theater.

  • Bubs

    What don’t you like about it? I enjoyed it in theaters but I honestly forgot it existed until you mentioned it.

  • Kaitscralt

    wanna take feline anti depressants and watch preck wreck / and or kill me like one of your french girls?

  • Kaitscralt

    thank you and goodnight.

  • Ernie and Bert are the same age. Elmo is a child. Well, at least from the sound of it, he’s enjoying himself.

  • Monster cock is best cock. You seem to have neglected to mention these people also made The Room: The Opera.

  • And Kevin Bacon.

  • The idea of another species becoming intelligent is so terrifying to Hollywood, that they said ‘fuck it, make it a zombie apocalypse’.

  • Red Skeleton

    I just realized I fucked up a joke yesterday. I was deliberately getting a reference to the Beatles wrong and I made reference to their hit “Daphne in the Clouds with Pearls”. Which doesn’t mean anything. I obviously meant to write something like “Penny in the Clouds with Pearls”.

  • Red Skeleton

    Funny how these things hit you a day later.

  • omitted

    This solidifies your status as my number one nemesis.

  • omitted

    It’s the beard, man.

  • omitted

    Step 2: ??????
    Step 3: Profit!

  • tOmy`

    I am sorry, Annie, I have to change now. See ya in 10 years. Do you mind catching your own ship back to Coruscant? Good. Bye. Say hello to your mother, fo-

    Oh. Well. Bye.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, drugs, get it now.

  • tOmy`

    Do you hear it? It’s the sound of slowly approaching My Chemical Romance trivia!

    #yay

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Ditto.The score is absolutely sublime.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yeah, it could be good. It’s just that I have no recollection of what it was like. All I can think of is the theme to Moon, which is awesome.

  • Bubs

    I think you meant Lucy in the Sky with Ricky, Fred, and Ethel.

  • QuiGonBooze

    Has anyone re-watched the prequels in a while? I’m doing all 6 with a friend who hasn’t seen Star Wars. We watched 4,5, and 1 so far. Phantom isn’t trainwreck bad due to the expensive production but there’s no energy or connection to it. Half the people fell asleep.

  • tOmy`

    HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS?!

    WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING FROM ME?!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “I’m doing all 6 with a friend–” “Half the people fell asleep” Was it you, or your friend?

    And why would you watch 1 before 6?

  • tOmy`

    Because it’s like poetry, it rhymes with the ring theory. You can watch them in any order you wish and you will still experience the urge to throw your TV out of the window right after Clones.

  • omitted

    Before tOmy` can make good on his ultimatum, I’m off to get hammered! (the drunken kind, not the sexual kind. Hopefully both) Bye for now, beautiful darlings!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    have fun.

  • RLMkeepitup

    why …would you search for that.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Okay, back on topic: Music!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGGCN1o1tSQ

  • Andrew Thompson.

    wouldnt this make more sense?
    https://youtu.be/nyC3wf8FQUg

    and total love for.

    https://youtu.be/-aPIXeAmpO8

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i miss the cold war. it was so much more fun than the war on terror.

    https://youtu.be/3PzhsPS8Z50

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I dunno. Clones is the only Ash song I know because it was in the end credits of Star Wars: Republic Commando, and I don’t even like the song. I posted it as a joke, to be honest.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You can’t fight terror but you can fight cold.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’m going to be honest. am i the only one who wants to have sex with an F-14 after watching this?

    https://youtu.be/siwpn14IE7E

  • Andrew Thompson.

    ash are cool!… well they used to be… didnt we all.

  • Martín Galarza Flores

    I want a Furious 7 review!

    Just because a movie star died doesn’t make his last movie any good.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    that was five hours ago! hurry up!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    there are 6 other shit Furious moves to bag first. if anyone cared.
    just because a moron died being a moron does not a review make.

  • Bubs

    I’ll save Mike and Jay the time.

    Jay: “So Mike, what did you think of The Fast and the Furious 7: Paul Walker’s Final Nightmare?”

    Mike: “It FUCKING SUCKED.”

    https://youtu.be/MMjo5kNS780?t=23m40s

  • Andrew Thompson.

    happy easter. may someone you loved return from the dead today…
    you know…. for shits and giggles.

  • Palpatine

    So as if Hellraiser wasn’t already surreal enough in color, watching it in black & white only makes it more surreal.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the 2nd one wasn’t bad but oh boy did they get bad soon after

  • Palpatine

    They should have stopped after the second one. But as for the first one, I think it’s one of the best modern horror movies. There’s something about it that sets it apart from the rest of the horror movies that were coming out at the time. It feels more intelligent than a slasher movie.

  • Like Icare

    They could do a Fastathon like they did the Transformerganza – watching all 7 movies at once.
    It would be great.

  • Like Icare
  • Palpatine

    I love how the cops aren’t fazed at all by the Cenobites.

  • Like Icare

    Clive Barker can write disgusting and skincrawling body horror as well as mysterious “running on its own logic now” worlds.

    Plus, the first Hellraiser had Andrew Robinson.

  • Palpatine

    He’s like a mix between Stephen King and H.P. Lovecraft.

  • Like Icare
  • RLMkeepitup

    “demons to some, angels to others…” that first movie was just legit creepy

  • Palpatine

    What movie is he from?

  • RLMkeepitup

    in the mouth of madness

  • Wow, this is getting desperate, we’re moving to old episodes to continue our incoherent rambling.

  • Palpatine

    Watching it in black & white only made it more creepy.

  • Like Icare
  • Paul Walker?

  • It would be maddening.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    If they let Smith chew the scenery like Heston & Vincent Price did in their stabs at the role. It might’ve worked, too, but no – we get Serious British Will Smith ‘acting’, in a couple scenes the ‘yay – the old hippity hoppin’ ‘Fresh Prince’ version of him is back’. Fools you into thinking, oh, ok, maybe this is going to work, a couple scenes in a row started to work. Then you see the rest of the movie and you live the rest of your life plagued with doubt and mistrust of yourself and everyone and you realize the nightmare of your live has just begun.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Confession time: I have not seen The Room. I’ll probably see Legolambs live action ‘Silence! The Musical!’ before it and after putting the lotion on my skin:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPnQ77a1UVk

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Why do I think it’s going to end something like this
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ncYSQEr2tM

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Well, I’m giving this a try. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BD9a4lOkTY

    But is it just my speakers or the cymbals are not properly recorded?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It doesn’t ask – it just takes.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    On a curved screen, no less.

  • Oh, cool! Yeah. Either they messed up the noisegates or something was wrong with the cables.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    There is a moment where the dynamics change, the drummer uses the crash cymbal and we can see him smashing the poor thing that is already broken, but… no sound. Nice performance though, two people seem to be really enjoying it.

  • Haha, yeah. The rest preferred to be seated. 😛

  • Palpatine

    Where you guys moving to?

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    I know what that is like.

  • Phantom Menace Review

  • Oh, do you play in a band?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Clearly we need a Red Letter Media mobile game to occupy ourselves between episodes, I suggest a side-scroller where you play as Rich, Jay, Mike, or Jack (unlock Jessi & Wizard) fighting through levels of kids from Bloody Birthday, bosses like Crazy Fat Ethel, the Elf from Elves, all of Dragon Sound, and the like.

  • Palpatine

    One of the bosses (that only Rich can fight) should be the Showbiz Pizza Bear. The final boss should be George Lucas.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    I used to play in cover bands for money. Now, I have an acoustic blues trio (for some extra bucks) and an and authorial band.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yes! I’d like to see Gene Simmons Never to Young to Die character make an appearance as well as Kenny Rogers from Russian Terminator.

  • Palpatine

    That’s from the old days of RLM, back when it was known as GMP Pictures.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I had no idea such a thing existed. Mind. Blown.

  • These hacks are geniuses of merchandising! The RLM brand is worth thousands!

  • Time for a new game, then. Palpy, you seem to have connections and lots of cash, I’m sure that a man of your stature could find a suitable team of programmers.

  • SkaMP

    He’s too young

  • I assume Mike’s weapon of choice would be empty bottles.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    And the occasional ‘Cherrytini’ power-up.

  • What about the others?

  • Palpatine

    Rich’s power would be his laugh.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    GIMP pictures? 3edgy5me

  • Obviously. An ocasional OH MY GAAD would be a supercombo.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jay would fight with his sheer prettiness and faux hawk (really, you should see what it does to the cock alien from The Item). Jack would get super special Jazz Hands of Fury. Rich utters EngRich spells to subdue his enemies and when he combines with a R5-D4… woah, just…woah.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    http://www.4shared.com/mp3/iFBZt4k0ce/autoral_1.html?

    Found an old and short demo, I uploaded recently because we were trying with put things togheter. It kinda sucks. haha

  • Palpatine

    What about Jessi, Wizard, and Jack?

  • I was thinking Jack could use his editing skills, you know, floating rainbows, stars, animated ‘don’t be a dick’ signs, but Jazz hands are good enough.

  • Jessi loves fart jokes… so I think you know where this is going.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jessi in her bee-girl outfit stuns her enemies and has the power of flight. Wizard obtains power-ups through changing ironic t-shirts and gets to full strength when his beard fully re-spawns – he can then use Super Serious Stare to immobilize the enemy. Jack has the Jazz Hands of Fury already but could be coupled with the lips from Santa Claus to fluff enemies to death I suppose.

  • It’s short but I like it. Very laid back at the beginning with the tension building up near the end.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Could be a viable secondary weapon – you know, use the hands for melee attacks but the editing skills for ranged attacks. Holy shit, I may be picking up some gaming lingo.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I see no reason Thunderpants can’t make an appearance as an NPC at the very least.

  • I was thinking Len Kabasinski could be featured as well – he’d be the cliche foe turned friend (boss turned character). But, oh what a friend he’d be!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Fucking Phil Davis!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The ‘future’ versions of Mike & Jay (that tried to stop themselves from fixing a lady’s VCR) could show up with their weapons and gear, too.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Sometimes you gotta go back to where you started. This means that eventually there’ll be an ‘All Peter Jackson movies’ secret level.

  • But only as secret characters OR George Lucas’s lackeys.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jorge’s weapon is the waves of fear that emanate from him as soon as he enters a room, silencing anyone from questioning him or coming near him.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    If this were the 90s, and the game was one of those 4-player arcade cabinets. It’d be impossible to play as Rich Evans, by virtue of him being the most popular character, some kid that has been playing him for hours already, and it feels like he never runs out of tokens.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    That kid would no doubt look exactly like him, too:
    http://i.ytimg.com/vi/OwOMi2BFCt0/hqdefault.jpg

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Len’s character could appear as any on of his characters from his movies or even from his appearance on the special ‘Choose ‘n Lose’ Ninja Movies episode. The weapons and fighting style would change accordingly and when in ‘Skull Forest’ mode can go out of focus, change aspect ratio, and subdue you with dutch angles.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    When paired with Shakma the guy is unstoppable.
    Edit: SHAKMAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    You’re going to be in this game, Sheev, what powers, moves, power-ups do you want?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    You remember The Simpsons arcade game where every combination of two characters had a particular combo attack? Mike and Rich together become Plinkett and Fake Plinkett. Rich and Jack, become Lion Brain and Crocodile Brain. Mike and Jay, become Future Future Mike and Future Future Jay. Rich and Jay, become The Other Guy and The Other Other Guy.

    The possibilities are endless!… well, not really endless, but enough.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I don’t remember the game but I like where you’re going with this. I’m a little afraid of the eventual combo of Jim & Colin as The Amazing Bulk & Gymkata-guy.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    And the odd transformation into Dan/Don Wilson for a ‘Prank Call Attack’.

  • QuiGonBooze

    It was me, my friend, and a couple people I sorta knew. We were doing a sort of machete order but with all the movies. That way We at least can look forward to Return during the prequels.

    http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Where is everyone, is it the High Holidays?
    OH………..
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8tdmaEhMHE

  • Palpatine

    We do have lives outside of RLM, you know. What are “lives”, you ask?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Day 1256

    The weirdos have taken me in as one of their own.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    What is this ‘outside’ you speak of?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Welcome to the family, Black Annie!

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I prefer black underage Female-American, thank you very much

  • TapewormBikeForever

    When the hell is the extended edition coming out?!

    https://youtu.be/_tCUb7M9z54?t=1141

    Btw, I love this and I can watch snoring dog on my bed right now. Not to mention my snoring gf on the couch.

  • Like Icare

    With some tinkering, it would be possible to construct a rotating room with a full body rotating harness inside it.
    Each wall of the room (which would be a cube, naturally) would be a screen, showing one of the movies in the Wacky Races franchise.
    The 7th movie would be projected onto the person in the harness, by projectors placed in the vertices of the rotating cube.

    Now that would be pod racing.

    The best part is that it would not be a violation of the Article 3 of Geneva Convention unless used by the government of one country on combatants or civilians of another country with which the former country is in a state of war.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Oh and, yeah, official Play Doh movie probably will be a thing. http://www.avclub.com/article/fox-attempting-mold-play-doh-movie-paul-feig-217522

  • tOmy`

    You all people are either very bad for my karma or you are my karma. I am… I am not sure what the fuck was that supposed to mean, so here goes the real comment:

    1) House of Cards Season 2 opener – holy shit, I did not see it coming. However, I am very afraid of the outcome for the show itself – either it’s gonna end up hurting it (and it was all just for the shock value) or it’s gonna make it more interesting.
    2) Where is my praise on Snatch?! Someone asked for a movie (I am looking at you, Cream-A-Thon, because I think it was you!!!) and I told him to watch that.

    Anyway… My Chemical Romance trivia will be postponed. *sip*

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Snatch is good. There. You ‘appy, cunt?

  • tOmy`

    Sorry for the Radiohead pun (because I am pretty fucking sure they were the ones to use this cliche line, fuck off, shut up):

    Lunatics have taken over the asylum

  • tOmy`

    Cunt?! Is it because you lost to Litvinov in ice hockey?!

    (I know you don’t watch it… Me neither actually. It was just an inside joke to make fun of your hometown.)

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I was just being nice in cokney gangsterish

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Disqustapo sure snoozes allot, doesn’t she? Maybe you should try it too some time.

  • tOmy`

    My apologies, then. You still lost tho. Ha. We did as well, so…

    Snatch is a great little movie – especially the “3 cars” sequence. Have you ever seen our dubbing for it?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    She doesn’t, actually, at all. The dog does though. And I am told I do too, horribly. But I refues to believe until I get some Paranormal Activity style proof.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I don’t think I’ve seen the original version ever. It’s probably been like 10 years since I saw it.

  • tOmy`

    Interesting! If you have a chance, rewatch in original.

    It is… a great window into how our dubbing was superb back then. It doesn’t hurt the movie, but it’s just wonderful to see how many jokes we missed, while creating other jokes. (Pulp Fiction dub comes to mind.)

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Also, beyond not caring about hockey, I lived most of my life one hour from Brno.

  • tOmy`

    Especially our “gypsies”. That shit is wonderful in our language.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I imagine. I mean, just the czech title was something.

  • tOmy`

    I know! You told me! Silly worm! Can I ask about your original whereabouts? I don’t like this cutie-schlocky shit, but hey, I am drunk (surprise, surprise), so share!

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Kostice, tiny shithole 10mins from Břeclav. Right next to Lanžhot.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s all downhill from that incredible season opener tho. maybe not in the exact way you might think.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Gf going away this week. Binging Better Call Saul, worth it?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I did watch Snatch and while I acknowledge its quality and soundtrack I could not be calmed by it. The term ‘kwintessential Tarantino-esque’ came to mind and not in a positive way. Even with Dennis Farina, just wasn’t the ‘trick’. What did work was Murder By Death which I had previously never seen.

    My surgery is Wednesday and I should be home the same day – I’m saving or tentatively planning to recuperate watching some films I’ve been ‘saving for special’. They include: the live action Space Battleship Yamato (2010), Resurrection of the Daleks, The Daisies, and Grey Gardens.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    HELL YEAH MOTHERFUCKER

  • tOmy`

    Yes. However – do you know Breaking Bad?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Very well. We kissed once.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, then you are in for a great shit. The only thing Better Call Saul is having problem with (according to me) is the fact that not knowing Saul / Mike is gonna do a bit of damage to the *wink wink* aspect of the show.

    But as I said, I am so far enjoying it even more than BB.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Oooh, very intriguing then

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I only know Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo.
    Thank you, I’ll be here all week, try the veal!

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Where’s the beef?!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Just don’t forget to upload it to YouTube once you get some.

    Now, here’s a possibly narcissistic question I just started to wonder about. Just out of curiosity: I (or our collective hive-mind) have learned a bunch of things about you but what do you know about me? What details do you think you have been able to collect about me in my time being here?

  • tOmy`

    “Kwintessential Tarantino-esque” – I grew up on Lock Stock (previous Ritchie movie) and Tarantino.

    (My father thought it’s funny to explain the rape scene in Pulp Fiction to 10 year old)

    And because of that, I see these movies separately – Tarantino is this arty schlocky mastermind, Ritchie is bringing UK underground to us. I, honestly, can see the similarities between these movies, but I also think that fundamentally, they are absolutely a different kind of beast.

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • Palpatine

    I mentioned earlier I watched Hellraiser in black & white to see what it was like. Have guys ever watched a color movie in b&w to see what it is was like?

  • Fox must be really desperate. Trying to cash in on LEGO the movie popularity by making a film about glorified plasticine.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Quote your favorite Boards of Canada lyrics.I’ll go first:

    Yeah that’s right

    Orange

    Yeah that’s right

    Orange

    One
    Orange (just fantasize)
    Two
    Three
    Four
    Five
    Six
    Seven
    Eight
    Nine
    Orange yeah that’s right
    Ten
    Eleven
    Twelve
    Thirteen
    Fourteen
    Fifteen
    Sixteen
    Seventeen
    Orange
    Eighteen
    Nineteen
    Twenty
    Twenty-one
    Twenty-two
    Twenty-three
    Twenty-four
    Twenty-five
    Orange
    Twenty-six
    Twenty-seven
    Twenty-eight
    Twenty-nine
    Thirty
    Thirty-one
    Thirty-two
    Thirty-three
    Orange
    Thirty-four
    Thirty-five yeah that’s right
    Thirty-six
    Thirty-four
    Sixty-eight
    Twenty-seven
    Thirty-five
    Forty-two
    Orange
    Fifty-eight
    Forty-seven
    Sixty-three
    Eighty-five
    Seventy-four
    Sixty-seven
    Sixty-six
    Fifty-one
    Orange
    Seventy-nine
    Forty-two
    Twenty-four
    Forty-five
    Sixty-ten
    Six
    Seven
    Fifty-six
    Sixty-five
    Orange
    Forty-four
    Fifty-three
    Forty-four
    Seventeen
    Thirteen
    Twenty-three

    Yeah that’s right

    Just fantasize!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think you are correct. My mind was just not primed for this and could only make base comparisons to get by. These things happen.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Why a duck?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    See, I can try to write out some, like, you being from Scandinavian country (and fuck me if I know which, there are two Fins on here, and I don’t think you are as well). You are a gamer, you read comics, you know what Krtek is and I like you. I am sure I’ve read more personal stuff, but on the other hand, I’d probably remember that. Also, I throw wrond personal stuff about me, because I..well, I shouldn’t, that’s the thing. It’s Norway, isn’t it?

  • I happened to watch colorized versions of old films but not the other way ’round. I mean, I may have seen some color movies on an old black-and-white TV I used to have but I don’t think I’ve noticed much of a difference.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Well, interesting idea and script can make it good, but from the exec side, it is totally pathetic.

  • Better binge on porn. Or whatever tapeworms watch for porn.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    In between, silly.

  • tOmy`

    I am a fan of BB season 1 and 2. I loved the living shit out of those seasons. I loved the small scale. Then it became a bit too much. I still loved it, but I would prefer the previous setting.

    At the same time, I am not a person who is gonna wear Heisenberg t-shirt, because I think that way too many people watching this show and loving it did not get the creepy point – after all, can you “cheer” for Walter to the very end? I also think that this is the reason many people underestimate the power of The Sopranos – they just don’t see the utterly disturbing joke of cheering for someone who is THIS fucking awful, bad and immoral.

    Better Call Saul, however, seems like a perfect choice for me. It brings back the arty style of BB (even more of it and, honestly, in a very well shape and form), while still being very down to earth – plus, we already know, where the story leads, right? I am totally game for this show. It is wonderful.

    (This is why I love Justified. It is about fucking HARLAN. And when you Wikipedia Harlan, you will understand why is it a perfect setting – we were there for 6 seasons and now we are going back to basics – one more bank job, one more coal digging, one more westerny standoff… Nobody asked, Tomy. Shut the fuck up about Justified.)

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Get Frank Miller involved, maybe you got something.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Oh, you mean Mike Relm? He’s a wonderful DJ from San Francisco. I love his movie stuff because he can find the rhythms in dialogue and turn it into music.

    He has a great Heath Ledger/Joker remix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9xTDXTV31Q

    as well as a remix from all the Child’s Play films:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_akv2QNE6s

  • Palpatine

    Watching b&w movies in color always looks so weird. Something about doesn’t seem right. Whenever someone does it, it ends up looking incredibly fake.

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely understandable. If someone were to ask me about these movies, I would use “It’s like Tarantino… just different.”

    If you ever have a chance, I suggest looking up Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels or Rock’n’Rolla – they had less of that “mainstreamy” status around them – Snatch is very general, very… well, acceptable, because it is a story understandable worldwide. These two movies, however, are very UKish. Maybe you would find them less Tarantino-esque and more cool.

    (Look at me, talking about Tarantino-esque things as “not that good”.)

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Both ways, the lighting just doesn’t match up. When I was a kid, me and my mom used to watch movies on a pretty old B&W TV, so I saw like, Robocop (my mom si great) that way. Also, quite confusingly, Power Rangers.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    (lights a cigarette). Now, I’ll kill ya, but first let’s talk about the significance of “Billie Jean”. Motherfucker.

  • Who was your favourite? The dark grey but not so grey ranger?

  • Palpatine

    Back when Ted Turner was colorizing old movies, one of the movies he colorized was the original King Kong. The result was this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jz77RxYhtoQ

  • TapewormBikeForever

    The all black all the time one.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    George Lucas frowns upon this.

  • This looks like something taken out of Terry Gilliam’s Monty Python animations.

  • My ex wife

    Looks nice on street view. Very colourful.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    When a movies world is so hyper-real and localized that the viewer has no choice but to accept it you have something. I got this feeling from Trainspotting. I believed I was witnessing events in Scotland of the recent past. Conversely, the movie Doomsday, filmed in South Africa representing Scotland, did not convince me one bit but was enjoyable for hot-glueing The Road Warrior, Braveheart, Trainspotting, and 28 Days Later into one movie with a boatload of talent (Bob Hoskins! Malcolm McDowell! Rhona Mitra!) and not one original idea.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Keep waiting for the giant foot….

  • tOmy`

    I have been bitching about Justified for a past few months and noone gives a shit. So here is a 7 second clip, that just MIGHT change your mind. Because this is a thing that made many people watch this amazing, fun and cool show (and I will throw in one more amazing, superb cool, anti-TV-cliche thing they also did). Also: I know you, people. You would love this show. You really, really would:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-K5RlyKcfo – 7 seconds of coolness.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Wemf9NQNas – And there is this. And for everyone who likes films / shows, come the fuck on, don’t you think it is brilliant without even knowing what the hell is happening on your screen?

    I rest my case.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Looks definitely cool. I wanna see the version where he gently fondles his balls before saying that

  • Palpatine

    That’s a true statement by the way.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Duel of the Fates was playing in his head at the hearings.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Very good. Got everything almost right. And you’re right, you probably would remember that. I don’t think I’ve mentioned many personal details. I have said that I have a brother once or twice, and that he shares my passion for RLM. But I can’t think of much else.

    And yes, I have innuendos running through my veins, just like omitted. (That means I’m Finnish.) And who was the third Finn?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    He’s a fat Gungan, you wouldn’t know him.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    And praise? Ok… knock yourself out =)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-WHW-QNswE

  • Palpatine

    You think that’s strange, just look up Cozzilla, which was Italian filmmaker Luigi Cozzi’s attempt to colorize the 1954 Godzilla film.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Wait, I thought Nassie was Swedish?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Have you people seen the Brazil zombie prank? Obviously, staged, but just thinking about it makes me quite uneasy. I don’t think they would air me shitting myself, crying and attempting suicide via self strangling.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Was he? I am pretty sure they talked in Finnish with Omi. Not sure then.

  • tOmy`

    Look, I wouldn’t promote this show if it wasn’t something super cool and great.

    Here is a clip that may show you why Justified is a perfectly written and perfectly acted TV show (or you can head over to AV Club and see the reviews for yourself). I will, however, warn you about the fact, that this piece could be viewed as a small spoiler – it doesn’t ruin the show at all, it’s just… a thing.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Qv3wdhvFVs

    (Because if you are looking for something to binge-watch, BCS has like 9 episodes. This has a lot of stuff, a great fanbase and mostly, it is more entertaining, funny and unpredictable than anything I have ever seen.)

  • Cakefarts

    Mrs. Cakefarts watches the show. I can’t get past all the western paraphernalia … hats – boots – attitude – etc.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I seriously believe you, I wanted to watch it for quite some time.

  • Go on?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Would you shit yourself because you thought it was a real zombie or because he was a creepy black dude eating a guy?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    And it ends with sex.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I’d just stop at black dude.

  • …Go on?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That may have been me. Has happened before.

  • My ex wife

    lol jesus christ. Like those lift pranks with the dude with no legs, I don’t know how to feel about this.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Where is that fucking (gay person), when you need him?! I really think it was our beloved fatso as well.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Exactly the point I was trying to bring up. Thank you.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Sexually, I meant

  • Palpatine

    Uh, excuse me, my dear man, we are having a serious discussion about the dying art of black & white cinematography down below. Save your childish prank stories for later.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Ooooooooooh!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You truly are an old man aren’t you Sheev?

  • tOmy`

    It was a gimmick – a “western” style show in the modern world. They “dropped” it very fast – it is obvious they realized that they can keep on “the oldschool” style without relying as much on western, but rather keeping it in line with Harlan settings.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Roughly 80 years. Or generations

  • Wasn’t he born, like a long time ago in a galaxy far far away?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Tapey stopped at black.

  • Palpatine

    An old gentleman, thank you very much. An old gentleman who simply appreciates a dying art form.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I do too. Have you seen the silent, black and white adaption of Call of Cthulhu? Which is on Youtube? Why have I not linked, you ask? Good question.

  • I don’t think it’s even possible to do well. I don’t even understand why would anybody want to colorize them. However, I imagine some surreal works like the Cabinet of Dr Caligari or Metropolis could potentially benefit from it, though only as a sort of “novelty”. Wasn’t there a colorized version of Metropolis?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Of course it is. The man is all about the preservation of the artistic integrity of classic movies.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Was there? I only know of the Anime adaptation. The original is marvleous.

  • Palpatine

    Except his own movies, of course. Those don’t suit his original vision.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Who cares about Star Wars? Star Wars is schlock from the 1970s! He’d be the first one to admit as much. *ducks and runs for cover*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Didn’t he say he was gonna go out to get drunk and/or laid? Or was that yesterday?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Cultural phenomenon is an interaction between the piece itself and the reaction to it. It is important to have its original form. (stops masturbating)

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I was not here yesterday. I am shocked. How much sex does he need to deprive us of his depravity?

  • Mark Bisone

    The first time I watched “Blade Runner” it was a late-night Channel 17 broadcast on my shitty little hand-me-down 11″ B&W TV. I still remember watching it with my nose about a foot away from the screen. It worked insanely well, probably because of it’s noir lineage and Ridley Scott’s high contrast lighting.

    In fact, I’d recommend everyone watch “Blade Runner” in B&W mode before they die. Except for Jay Bauman, who would probably just fall asleep even faster.

  • One of my favourite shticks in an old podcast I listened from time to time was a segment about Willem Dafoe movie pitches. What would be your Willem Dafoe movie pitch?

  • Palpatine

    To be honest, I wasn’t disturbed at all by watching Hellraiser in B&W, which is funny seeing as how disturbing that movie is. But watching it like that made it feel less disturbing, and more surreal than it already is. It felt like Hellraiser directed by David Lynch.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    The night is the color of Wesley Snipes, I shall go and metaphorically sleep with him. Cuddle after. Good cock.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    *dick

  • TapewormBikeForever

    *night

  • Beast cock*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You were not here yesterday? Now I’m shocked. Not only because you weren’t here but because I may not have noticed. Wait, what did I do yesterday? Was I here? Other than going to see a movie, I honestly can’t remember. I think I need my brain medicine.

    Oh, and omie only said that nine hours ago. He went out to get hammered early and is staying late. Hmm… Should we be worried?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Would you say the 11″ screen enhances the experience?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    So very close to 1k. We’ll take a picture while you sleep. I mean in your sleep. I mean of you sleeping.
    I’m going to be quiet now.

  • Hey! Just remember not to put things in his mouth while you do!

  • Eraiser? Funnily enough, what I remember most about one of Lynch’s later films are the vivid colors (Mulholland Drive). That and the incoherent plot.

  • If you take into account that it was saved in editing then he may be trying to make them closer to his original vision.

  • Mark Bisone

    Omitted would probably say that 11″ enhances every experience.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Eraiser: You don’t get 55,492 dollars without making a few potato salads (Or the story of Kickstarter)

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Touché.

  • Mark Bisone

    That’s French for “bad touch”, right?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Tapey~~ White-knight me over here! Omitted has insulteth mine honour!
    (I’d swoon, but he’d probably sell me to some swarthy Turkish man if I did…)

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Ohohohoho.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Put something under his tongue to keep him from swallowing it.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    That IS one of the better Friday night offers I’ve had. It’s too bad I fell asleep early.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The art of not dying? I gotta say you are tenacious.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Is this, like, Douglas Adams’s old landline in Islington?

  • Palpatine

    Pinhead vs. Eraserhead.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    The fights scenes were mostly tedious-epicness, and really killed the pacing (the Brandon Routh vegan face-off being the most creatively engaging exception for me).

    The romance with Ramona Flowers was lousy and didn’t justify its own conclusion (it would have made faaar more sense for her to end up single, and him to just get a clue that he was merely another of the “evil ex boyfriends” in making and not actually any kind of hero).

    The most damning part for me, however, was that they never really dealt with how much of a fake nice-guy Scott actually is. He spends most of the film treating people badly and being a detestable coward… ceranating around in a cloud of poor-me obliviousness… and all it takes at the end is the slightest, most pathetic gesture of remorse from him, and ALL is forgiven by everyone. After which he ambles off into his contrived, narcissistic romantic happy ending, which completely undermined any real themes the film could have actually conveyed.

    And, unfortunately, that second half retroactively ruins all the sparkles of direction and humor I saw in its initial set-up. I still believe in Edgar Wright as a director, but SPv.tW is just a HUGE bummer for me.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    *of the Lepus.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    It’s just unfortunate all the gore ends up looking like some fiendish combination of Smuckers and oversaturated baking dough.

  • Palpatine

    For your information, I’m 118 years old. I’ll be 119 this month.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Willem Dafoe makes juice using a juicer, which was already done in John Wick.

    I mean, best scene in the whole damn movie. He makes juice for a mob boss, and the mob boss doesn’t even drink the juice! Which leads Dafoe to turn down his $2 million contract to murder someone, just so he could get back at the mob boss for the wasted juice.

    It had every healthy vegetable you could ever ask for in a juice. No fillers or anything!

    If Willem Dafoe offers you handmade juice, drink his God Damn juice.

  • You mean orange? Wasn’t he serving a sentence for tax evasion or something?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Percocet & ‘Outbreak’ on SyFy Channel. Can you spell Saturday Night?

  • Amontillado

    I may not be the first to propose this, but goddamnit Jay needs to be the third man in the Pre-Rec live shows. Then we have our Three Amigos of gaming, albeit one of them a sometime game player, but he adds spice!

    If Pre-Rec were a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, Rich is the whole wheat bread, Jack is peanut butter, and Jay is Jelly. Wait, wait, Rich is the jelly, Jack is the whole wheat bread, Jay is the peanut butter. No, wait, if Jack is the jelly, then Rich is the peanut butter, and Jay is the whole wheat bread. Or, actually they all are equal parts jelly, peanut butter, and whole wheat bread.

  • omitted

    So, I went to drink my problems away tonight. At present were one straight couple, one gay couple, one guy in a relationship (straight), one single guy (straight) and one single gay guy (me). What I witnessed was the straight couple showing some serious PDA (Public Displays of Affection: holding hands, kissing, etc.) while the gay couple acted like normal male friends. This pissed me off somewhat, until I realized I would never even reach that level of familiarity. I’m over 30 years old and I have never been in a serious relationship. I will probably never be in a serious relationship, if I keep obsessing about cute guys on the Internet. After a night of drinking and board games and some unfortunate political discussions (fuck that bourgeois gay couple) I ended up walking back to my apartment across a bridge. Underneath the freezing cold water seemed to call to me: no one will ever love you, join me in an icy embrace and end it all right now! I chose the light instead of the eternal darkness (duh, wouldn’t be writing this now if I didn’t), but that journey home was the loneliest, darkest and coldest I’ve felt in a long time. Just needed to share this with somebody. Tomorrow I’ll probably be embarrassed about this. Peace out!

  • Amontillado

    True, you will most definitely be embarrassed in the morning, but don’t go in for the dark abyss talk. Everyone is on a path unto themselves, you may not be in a serious relationship, yet, but it took Peter Falk till the age of 33 to find his one and only, and Gregg Allman has gone through about 7 divorces before meeting his one and only. So Omitted, put away the bad feelings, when you meet your person it will be at exactly the right time, at exactly the right place, at the moment that you are ready for it.

    One last thought: you may not know it or realize it, but there is probably a helluva lot more people pulling for you then is visible. I raise my gin and tonic to you, may the sun always shine, may every person you meet be a friend, and may your feet always find the way home.

    Cheers.

  • Amontillado

    Cock of the Daywalker: +25 to stopping a motherfucker from ice skating up the hill.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    UNLIMITED POWER!

  • Palpatine

    Are we really still doing this?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I hate it when we do that.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Jay Bauman is going to be your Guardian Angel, and you’re gonna help him get his wings. He will take you to an alternate world where the RLM comment section is a miserable hive of boring pretentious talk about movies, instead of funny dick humor and puns. Mitchell Taco Nash and so many others will see the word “Omitted” in their daily lives and never smile at the thought. There will be no one who will understand my love for buff guys in short shorts on this website.

    You’re back in the real world, and Jay’s vlog famously finished with a bell ringing. It’s in the deleted special edition of the web that you have to purchase for 10,000 dirhams.

    But it’s there.

  • Palpatine

    Since another Prequel quote war is brewing, I have to ask a serious question. Who do you blame (besides George Lucas) for the Prequels sucking so much?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Fans, because they were so desperate for anything, even if it sucked.

  • omitted

    Andrew?

  • Palpatine

    And to think there are fans who defend the shit out of the Prequels.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    All those fucking Yes Men who never once questioned Lucas n every horrible fucking decision he choose because he’s George Lucas.

  • Palpatine

    The only reason they never questioned George is because they were afraid of him.

  • omitted
  • Wizard Phoenix

    And what he would say. They couldn’t even have sort of collaborative group effort thing going. Which is what a studio does with directs. Unless the director is George Lucas.

  • RLMkeepitup

    you’re clearly a bright guy.. you’ll definitely find someone or vice versa, preferably off the internet (too many duds, not enough studs).

  • Palpatine

    Who would you rather have directed the Prequels besides George?

  • RLMkeepitup

    Michael Bay! imagine everything being even more dense

  • Palpatine

    With more ‘splonsions and thorwd fights!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Spike Jonze was considered to direct Episode II. No joke.

  • Mark Bisone

    Look, your near constant (often funny) rape threats against Jay aside, you seem like a decent sort of fellow. And I’m sure the last thing you want is advice from anonymous internet bozos like me. But this seems like a bit of a cry in the dark, so I’m going to give it a try anyway.

    I’m not sure if this is your first dark night of the soul. If so, rest assured there will be at least two more of them. There will be the night where you contemplate the oblivion of death, and the night where you contemplate the eventual oblivion of everyone who ever knew you, or even knew of you. And each time you’ll wonder, “What the fuck was the point of all this pain, disappointment and frustration?” As someone whose experienced all three, I can attest that these are awful, horrific nights. So I hope you know I mean it when I say, “You are not alone. I felt it too.”

    The sharpness of these dark insights WILL fade, but that doesn’t necessarily mean things will get better or brighter. They certainly could, but there’s a lot of hard work involved. The Void can’t be ignored away; it has to be fought directly and passionately. If not, the well is very deep, and the free-fall down it can give a false sense of comfort for the first few miles or so.

    As far as the “political” stuff goes, I’ll just say this: we live in dark times, my friend. There are a lot of people (on all sides of the political map) who prey on our fears and insecurities. They strive to make us feel alienated, weak and broken, because that makes them feel much more powerful by comparison. They want us to see each other as default enemies rather than as default friends, to see ourselves as zero-sum tribes and identity groups rather than individuals, all to aid them in their power games. These people are truly lost, and the things they do to manipulate us at every level of society are truly fucking evil. Don’t fall for their traps; they often know exactly how to bate those traps, and its always with false gold. Pyrite is not right, you see?

    Try this one on for size. You aren’t “gay.” You aren’t “30 years old.” You aren’t even “Omitted.” You are much, much more than all of these data points and aliases and traits and sub-identities combined. The experience of being you is entirely unique… and yet, we can all understand it rationally, and empathize with it emotionally and spiritually. That’s the magic trick of the human condition. I think you will find love, because you are looking for it. I think you will find light, because you’ve glimpsed how dark this shit can get. It won’t be found in external institutions (and certainly not in politics, which is the falsest, dimmest light there is). I honestly don’t know how you’ll find it. But I have faith you will do it — and believe it or not, I’ve usually been proven right about this sort of thing.

    In any case, much love coming at you from the Bi-Zone, my battle-rapping Euro brother. Sleep tight and stay warm.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    some of the blame goes to Australia, like the old aboriginal woman who warns annie about the storm.
    and just the way we make movies made it feel weird.
    it worked in the first Matrix movie because it gave it the film a generic other world quality that made sense in the context.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    And sock puppet hands!

  • Palpatine

    The Prequels were made in Australia?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    we love you.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yep. our bad.

  • Palpatine

    Don’t feel too bad. At least they weren’t being filmed out in the open.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The amount of Anakin x Padme fanfiction makes me want to throw up in my stomach. Not because of their writing but because it means George actually made people believe in his shitty romance.

  • Palpatine

    Does Star Wars have a My Immortal fanfiction equivalent?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh god I hope not. And besides we should write that ASAP

  • Palpatine

    I’m guessing I’ll be the preppy main villain.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    if you want.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    that is breathtakingly evil.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I will not condone a comment section that will lead us to a war.

  • Palpatine

    We’re all equal in our hatred for the Prequels, pal.

  • Cakefarts
  • Cream-A-Thon

    Honestly I think there’s a real Jar-Jar somewhere in Lucas’s basement that came up with this. Jorge obeys the creature, a real-life alien, and is trying to come to grips with its existence and prepare humanity for first contact by making movies. He was not kidding when he said “Jar-Jar’s the key to this.” The real Jar-Jar has probably had a grip on Lucas’s mind and spirit for three decades, guiding him and in turn humanity to some other, greater, more grand purpose than we could have imagined.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Someone once told me something about you and hatred but I forget just what.

  • Palpatine

    Jar Jar is behind it all!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he is in the cgi tree house not the basement.

  • Palpatine

    He hides the creature in the basement when George’s buddies come over to play.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Of course! The reason for ‘No girls allowed’ is the girls would be unaffected by Jar-Jar’s mind-control abilities and could expose his plan.

  • Palpatine

    Last I heard the creature was wandering around Skywalker Ranch while George and his buddies went out to look for a dead body.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The real Jar Jar still has the lisp but the accent is much more German.

  • Palpatine

    Meinsa called Jar Jar Binks! Meinsa your Fuhrer!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “What was that…about…Mein Kampf??”

  • Palpatine

    I justlove this Rolling Stone magazine with Jar Jar on it:
    http://assets.rollingstone.com/assets/images/story/jar-jar-binks-a-digital-star-is-born-19990624/20130211-jarjarbinks-306×306-1360607580.jpg
    Notice that the two articles below the one about Jar Jar are about the Columbine Shooting and the Kosovo War.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Lets face it – Jar Jar moves issues like proxy war and school shootings only wish.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s71YZanMBIM

  • Palpatine

    Just found a really interesting episode of Siskel & Ebert in which they discuss the colorization of black and white films:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpT1DkBOnqo

  • Bubs

    There really is no one else to blame. Lucas had total creative control. TOTAL. He didn’t need money. Even if the movie was a total commercial failure, Whore-Hey would’ve been just fine.

    You can try to blame the people around him who never said “Hey, that’s a stupid idea.” But is that fair? I don’t think so. They would’ve just got fired and replaced with someone who wouldn’t question him.

    You essentially have a big spoiled baby in charge of a billion dollar franchise. You can’t take his toys away and no one can put baby in a corner. In the end, it’s really all his fault for shitting his pants and smearing it on the walls, then trying to call it a movie.

  • Bubs

    On another note, I’ve worked with people like Lucas on projects. When you try to question them, they basically tell you (in a very nice way) to shut the fuck up and do as you’re told. No matter how bad their idea is.

    But the fucked up thing, the really fucked up thing. Is that they’re right. Their stupid fucking ideas make insane amounts of cash.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think Jorge said it best himself, “You know, we’re never going to beat Titanic. Nobody can.”

  • Palpatine

    Expect for James Cameron.

  • Ryan McCoy

    Jack and Rich, you desperately need to give dark souls another chance. It’s a masterpiece and elements of why you guys praised this game are also things that make dark souls amazing.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Cameron didn’t have the fancy pants film school college education that Lucas & Spielberg had. Legend has it he drove a truck and had a dream about a robot skeleton terrorizing a woman. The rest, as they say, is cheddar.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I forbid you from editing it away! Your depressed, drunken ramblings must remain here forever!

    But, yes, I agree. The Jay is the opiate of the masses, and makes a cold bed-fellow indeed. For what it’s worth we love you Omitted, even if it’s not in a hawt, gay sort of way (though I do my best).

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    daw

  • Palpatine

    Is it me, or does Rich Evans look a lot like that creepy-ass baby from The Passion of the Christ:
    http://i.imgur.com/qrl0Vpo.png

  • Jason Ross

    The similarity is striking. Rich is pretty much Satan incarnate.

  • Palpatine

    No, the Showbiz Pizza Bear is Satan incarnate.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Haha, gross…

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Uh, Domo, that last sentence is just a tad too ambiguous for me to feel comfortable making the “drink Willem Dafoe’s juice” pledge. :

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Is that different from the legless zombie elevator prank? I met my future husband through that one. Can love like this happen twice in one’s life??

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s you.

    Meaning it looks like you.

  • Palpatine

    Wasn’t I an adorable baby?

  • Mark Bisone

    It looks like somebody used the Force to influence the midichlorians to create… Moe Howard with a severe case of progeria.

  • Palpatine

    Some kid with progeria died a few days ago. Just sayin’.

  • Mark Bisone

    Did you remember to weigh him down with rocks before you ditched the corpse? Because, those little guys sometimes float like driftwood.

  • Palpatine

    His body is currently in the Pine Barren swamps. Me and Real Plinkett dumped him there. Plinkett was the one who killed him by the way.

  • Mark Bisone

    Tell it to the judge. Judge Dredd. Not that you’d “dread” him; that’s just his family name. Any negative connotations are purely coincidental. I’m sure he’ll be fair:

    https://youtu.be/N5o6Lj0Eyhg?t=28

  • Palpatine

    Please no, not the mineshaft again!

  • Mark Bisone

    You’ll be saying that a lot when you’re serving your life sentence, Palpy. You may be a butter face, but hips don’t lie.

  • Palpatine

    Well my lawyer, Peter Greenberg, will save my ass.

  • Mark Bisone

    Didn’t he direct The Pillow Book? That just means your old ass will have sexy Japanese shit written on it before it gets traded around Cell Block D like a ’92 Frank Thomas rookie card.

  • Palpatine

    Plinkett has just been found guilty but mentally ill of the crime. I managed to use a mind trick to convince the judge I’m innocent. Plinkett has been sentenced to life at the Ancora State Psychiatric Hospital here in Jersey.

  • Mark Bisone

    What is he doin’ there? He oughta be out in a convertible bird-doggin’ chicks and bangin’ beaver.

  • Palpatine

    One Flew Over the Plinkett’s Nest.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Didn’t Spielberg flunk out of college? And was the terror robot Chris Evans?

  • Snake Squeezer
  • Snake Squeezer

    I don’t see Justin Timberlake anywhere…

  • Snake Squeezer

    Steven Soderbergh put Raiders in B&W and put new music under it:
    http://extension765.com/sdr/18-raiders

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Spielberg did drop out for a bit to find his father but was re-enrolled by his girlfriend after his abducted wife was blown up. Chris Evans is actually a hologram.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I was typing something flowery and supporting and all Cat Stevens-y but I really just want to say kid, “You’re All Right”. Put on your cleanest dirty shirt Easter morning and get a ham-burger and eat it on the swing-set at the park while everyones in church. Tell the river your name and then see a matinee of Paddington Bear. Hug a statue a little too long. Wear sunscreen.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’m A Protocol Droid, But That’s OK

  • George has friends?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Oh, damn. I didn’t even realize the implications of saying that. I’ve been hanging around Omitted too long!

  • Joe Syxpac

    How hard is his light anyway?

  • Joe Syxpac

    If not I’ve been using it wrong since age 5.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Hell, I got more time than I thought!

    Thanks!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    If you survived this long that means you’ll be able to survive a little longer to find your significant other.Keep on going strong.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Or maybe you just haven’t been fully corrupted yet. Unfortunately, I’ve been a lost cause for a very long time… Sighh. ._.

  • Having seen his wrinkled balls and his cock nailed to the floor in Von Trier’s Antichrist I’m desensitised to anything vaguely relating to Willem Dafoe’s naughty parts so I don’t find this disturbing at all.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Drink up then, Maggit! Drink up!

  • Apparently drinking the juice turns your face into Willem Dafoe’s face. Intersting.

  • tOmy`

    All of them.

  • Palply, it’s you! -EmperorCop

  • tOmy`

    Well, I just put out a cigarette in an ashtray containing an unused match and burnt my hand. So… good morning. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8qUERnx_7Y

  • Like Icare

    Still a better love story than Twilight.

    Wait… Twilight fanfiction actually got its own multimillion book deal and then a movie deal which earned $564.1 million on a budget of $40 million.

    I.e. $14.1 return on every dollar invested in the production.
    Episode 1 got only $8.93 return on its $115 million budget.

  • omitted

    Don’t take the word ‘flaming’ so literally…

  • omitted

    But sunscreen makes for atrocious lube when fucking a statue… Oooooohhhhhhh….

  • omitted

    I think you meant ‘getting-my-ass-handed-to-me’-rapping? Thanks for the wise words, but there is one advice I can’t follow right now: politics. We have parliamentary elections here in Finland in two weeks and I’m somewhat of a party activist. So it’s kind of in the job description to argue with people over policy and stuff. I’ll just know not to do it drunk from now on.

  • Bubs

    Does this gun look… FAMILIAR?!

    https://youtu.be/ytqgR71dpbc?t=3m37s

    This must be where Blood Debt got the idea.

  • Waiting for Mark Bisone to edit that one into Blood Debt.

  • Like Icare

    He also directed worms using electric shocks.

    “According to Cameron, he got his big break while doing pick-up shots for Galaxy of Terror (1981) as second unit director.
    He was shooting scenes of a dismembered arm teeming with maggots (actually mealworms). In order to make them move, he hooked up an AC power cord to the arm, and an unseen assistant would plug it in when the film was rolling.
    Two producers were strolling through, and when Cameron yelled “Action!” the worms began to writhe on cue. When he yelled “Cut!” the worms stopped.
    The producers were so amazed at his directing prowess that they began talking with him about bigger projects.”

    It has not yet been confirmed that he uses the same method when directing people.
    In a sense that there are no electrodes in the process. Just large quantities of ice cold water and he might nail a phone or two to a wall, from time to time.

  • Like Icare

    Well… visitors at least.

    Kevin Smith got married at Skywalker Ranch.
    http://www.examiner.com/article/kevin-smith-recounts-his-wedding-day-on-twitter

  • Like Icare

    “Hate is equal for the Prequels.” has a ring to it.

    Like it should be on a box of something.

  • Like Icare

    He’s been out of prison for 2 years now.
    Celebrated his 2nd outofprisonday 3 days ago.

  • Like Icare

    Every time someone comes up with a stunt like that I keep thinking that somewhere out there someone is seeing that as a great excuse for killing a random stranger just for the heck of it and getting away with it scot-free on account of “acting in self defense in an overwhelming state of self-preservation”.

  • I didn’t imagine this off-hand comment would get so topical. #themoreyouknow

  • Hello? Is anybody out there? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHN6AViJAvI
    To be honest, I always preferred King Crimson.

  • James Earl Jones

    George’s money has.

  • James Earl Jones

    Speaking of progressive, do you know Big Big Train? I learned of their existence recently. Pretty cool stuff.

  • James Earl Jones

    Jack has been playing it, apparently.

  • Now I Get It

    Hunt within your race, you entitled so-and-so.

  • Now I Get It

    Don’t sell yourself short. Sad Cat might have had Will Lyman telling its story, but if there’s something ambitiously American about your depression – and I believe there is – Ken Burns will tell yours.

    P.S. I know Ken Burns.

  • tOmy`

    Shall we just nod if we can hear you?

    #MusicReferences

  • tOmy`

    So, Veep is returning for the 4th season in a week. Anyone excited?

  • Palpatine

    I never left. I’ve always been here.

  • Palpatine

    Since you like talking about TV shows so much, do you think RLM should make a new show where they talk about TV shows?

  • tOmy`

    Nah, it would burst my bubble. I like my bubbles. They keep my anxiety in check.

    Although, I would love to hear their opinion about Breaking Bad and Walking Dead.

  • Palpatine

    Mike said in an episode of HitB that he watches Breaking Bad, and that he has a man crush on Bryan Cranston.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I remember that. I would like to hear their opinion on the “craft and art” of Breaking Bad. But generally, RLM TV show segments would be a bit painful – for example, in Breaking Bad’s case, it would really need to get broken down to single episodes and that would take a shitload of time and effort.

    I wouldn’t mind Half in The Bag “What shows we like(d) / What are we watching and why”, but that is about that. For superb breakdowns of TV shows, we already have AV Club pretty much covering everything “important” in great depth.

  • Bubs

    Hasn’t Breaking Bad had it’s proverbial cock sucked enough already?

  • tOmy`

    To be honest, I never payed attention to it – I started watching it a month or two before it went to the final season, so I kinda missed that whole “hype” – I don’t even think there was much of a hype in the Czech Republic.

  • Palpatine

    Having a review show about TV shows would mean they’d have to make an episode once a week. And seeing as how Mike and Jay are hack-frauds, them making a weekly show is out of the question.

  • Bubs

    I think I saw an episode once. In Merka, or at least the circles I run in, people can’t shut the fuck up about it. Like, there is literally no dissenting voice for it.

  • tOmy`

    I think none of my friends ever seen more than couple of episodes. My ex saw whole first season, but that was just because I was sick of watching Friends.

  • omitted

    Gayme of Boners!

  • tOmy`

    So, apparently, Fast 6 was supposed to be two movies – and two last movies for the franchise as well! That is why it is so long and features two large action pieces.

    Also, apparently, it is the best thing made by a human.

  • tOmy`

    *GayMe For Boners!

  • tOmy`

    Maybe I should have clicked on the fucking link before making a comment…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Picks or didn’t happen.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Is that Rip Torn? :0

  • Yep. Now I’m wearing Willem Dafoe’s face. Can’t tell if this is a blessing or curse.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    So you basically haven’t seen it yet you complain about people liking it?

    Great logic.

  • omitted

    Just watched this on television. Maybe not the best idea considering my mood last night.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfmE1zLAJMk

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Nope nope, everything seems kosher here to me. ✓

  • In The Court Of The Evans King
  • TapewormBikeForever

    You must have jewish glasses on

  • omitted

    Do those help you to tell apart the cut from the uncut?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Sorry, you will have to utilize your taste for that.

  • omitted

    Blind sample then?
    *opens wide in preparation*

  • TapewormBikeForever

    No porking though

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Sounds a bit Yes/Genesis-ish. Doesn’t it? Not that’s necessarily bad.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I would, I’d have to watch it first, though. I love Iannucci and The Thick of It, but the combination of not enough time and lack of Malcolm Tucker made me not to try it yet.

  • omitted

    On that I have a boner to pick with you.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fuck that noise Ben Affleck-less Daredevil is where it’s at now.

  • omitted

    Charlie Cocks Cox FTW!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You sound like a sex addict. You remind me of the movie Shame

  • omitted

    add-dick-t*

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What is dick tea? Wait don’t answer that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What the hell was that? It looks like Escape from Tomorrow mixed with a David Fincher wet dream.

  • James Earl Jones

    Kinda, yes. A bit Marillion-ish too.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That’s what the kids do in video games these days.

  • omitted

    All I’ll say is to be careful not to burn your junk…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Boners given to you by the sexiness of Kaleeshi?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Right.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I mean Peter Dinklage. Sorry Kaleeshi is the one who turns me on.

  • omitted

    Don’t mention Peter Pwnage arond Jay…

  • tOmy`

    Best song to have on during sex?

    My pick: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VV8sgVSZNQ

    Now back to Hand of Fate.

  • omitted

    You mean back to solo-sex?

  • tOmy`

    For furious masturbation marathons (or, as I call them, “a workday”) is obviously Bloodhound Gang’s A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying.

  • TapewormBikeForever
  • omitted

    Here’s something for you ‘mundanes’:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEBqpmJU9_w

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Even I know it’s spelled Khaleesi, and I ain’t never even watched Gayme of Boners!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean Sarah Conner from Terminator Fuck You?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Did they break up?

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • omitted

    Not cool, man.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Too soon? At least you’re not mentioning my break up.

  • omitted

    From your sanity?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No with my OS.

  • omitted

    Other self?

  • Palpatine

    So apparently Arnie thinks that Terminator: Salvation sucks:
    http://screencrush.com/terminator-schwarzenegger-sucks/

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, Samantha, she’s an operating system. From Elements Software I think.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    It lacked a little something. A big Austrian.

  • omitted

    I knew that. Just teasing you, mate.

  • Palpatine

    The series should’ve ended after T2.

  • omitted

    Terminator: Salivation

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You should buy an OS.

  • Palpatine

    “Come on me if you want to live!”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I didn’t even see it and I knew it sucked.

  • tOmy`

    “I’ll put it back.”

  • omitted

    Only if it sounded just like Jay. With the cutest laugh in the world.

  • Palpatine

    Both Terminator films after T2 sucked. T3 in particular sucked because it ruined the ending of T2.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    T3 isn’t a bad movie, it’s just not a good Terminator movie.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I remember seeing salvation in the theater and being underwhelmed. The campfire scene and open heart transplant come to mind. Not to mention the big transformer and skynet enslaving people thing. The depiction of how skynet went online was particularly bad in T3.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Do you want an OS for a relationship or companionship?

  • Palpatine

    It’s a fun action movie, there’s no doubt about that. But my main problem is that it ruins the whole “the future’s not set, there’s no fate but what we make for ourselves” thing.

  • omitted

    Both.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Shtop, shtop! You’re putting me off my kreplach! OYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Can we stop talking about bad movies and talk about good ones? What’s your favorite romantic movie? It doesn’t have to be traditionally romantic, it can have a main theme of romance.

  • I’d say that about Salvation. I mean it had some really stupid moments – especially those that had helicopters in them but it wasn’t terrible.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If only these movies didn’t have plot holes

  • Wizard Phoenix

    OS act like people, you know. Except for Windows 8

  • omitted
  • TapewormBikeForever

    He just saved your life then!

  • Palpatine

    Romance? What’s that?

  • You know the thing Padme and Anakin had? It’s nothing like that.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Even though it will make you feel quite the mixed emotions about the first romantic stages of a relationship. Also, Before Sunrise. Because fuck you, I can like Linklater, that’s why.

  • Palpatine

    Sorry, Attack of the Clones ruined romance movies for me.

  • Shit, you one-upped me on that one. Good on you, Tapeworm.

  • Palpatine

    The amount of plot holes in those movies is insane. That’s what happens in movies about time travel.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Sorta like foreplay, but movies about it have slightly better plots.

  • omitted

    I recently rewatched ESotSM and it was far weaker than I remembered. Not even Elijah’s wood could save that movie.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    THEADVOCATE better stop badmouthing Hedwig, I like her.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    You and me are done, casually.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mind would be the fantastically well put together and brillant masterpiece Spike Jonze’s Cop Dog. It certainly had a better romance than Her.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    No, but seriously, I am too invested in that movie, seen it about (literally) hundred times.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What if they were made by Spike Spiegel or Adam Jonze?

  • omitted

    Yeah, we all have our darlings. I just had a memory of it being this great masterpiece and it didn’t quite live up to my nostalgic expectations, so in comparison I felt disappointed.

  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, well Tapeworm already said that but it is a freaking good movie. Atomised, quite bitter-sweet in taste and kinky at times. Especially the swingers sub-plot.

  • tOmy`

    Out of the obvious ones: Pretty Woman, Notting Hill and You’ve Got Mail.
    Out of the pretentious cancers: Garden State
    Not sure if you can call them “romantic”: Casablanca, Moonrise Kingdom

    I surprisingly enjoyed: Music and Lyrics (I guess because of my music geekism)

    And Easy-fucking-A.

  • omitted

    Even the Angry Inch?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I can never watch Pretty Woman, Czech TV ruined it for me by pushing it on us during Christmas.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Especially

  • omitted

    My mom adores Richard Gere in that movie so I have also seen it way too many times.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Oh and Brokeback Mountain. Again, at times lyrical, at the end just fucking emotionally brutal.

  • tOmy`

    It’s the perfect Christmas movie. Hookers, drugs and exploitation.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Hoe hoe hoe!

  • omitted

    Ho ho ho!

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Damn you

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Reminds me of LA in the early 90’s.

  • omitted

    Great sick minds and all that…

  • So… they decided to compensate for that lack with… a new trilogy? Geez… He’ll be 70 by the time they finish.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    *dead

  • Oh? They always play Home Alone on Polish TV. Either that or Die Hard 2, oh and two Eddie Murphy movies, one in which he’s some African prince and the other in which he switched places with Dan Aykroyd.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Home Alone is big at those times too, but for some reason, they picked this one to run to the ground.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Insert omitted joke

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Omitted insertion coming

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *cumming

  • omitted

    That tent scene just destroyed all suspension of disbelief for me. Not even some spit for lube? *cringes*

  • They’ll make him CG, take that guy from Son Of The Beach and put Arnie’s face on him again.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Jake can handle anything, he’s that talented.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t make excuses for him!

  • They’re cowbows, they like it rough.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You would’ve preferred it to happen at the Manhole

  • TapewormBikeForever

    They also had a shitload of beans.

  • Mmm, Indians, construction workers, policemen… plenty to choose from.

  • omitted

    What happens at the Manhole, stays in the Manhole

  • omitted

    Okay, this is getting too fucked up even for me. And that’s saying a lot…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    See you, space cowbow.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    What? They complained about it in the movie. Before the sex. Just saying.

  • Maybe it was dirty talk to get the juices flowing?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re gonna carry that weight at the manhole.

  • omitted

    runs*

  • TapewormBikeForever
  • Man, that series had such a great soundtrack.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6jCJZEFIto

  • dollar store cashier wife

    King Kong

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Save it for another conversation.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I like Now Voyager, for idiosyncratic romantic compromises.

  • omitted

    Stone-hard for Emma!

  • omitted

    conversion*

  • Wizard Phoenix

    To the SOS cult? I was in it already!

  • It’s quite progressive in the romance part between the ape and the girl. Post-humanist one might say. It’s a bit less progressive in the portrayal of gender roles.

  • omitted

    Dong*

  • Stoma?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Can I say Heavenly Creatures? I suppose its more infatuation than romance but it’s the movie that comes to mind when I think of love. You know, movies with matricide.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Kind of enjoyed Obvious Child a month or two ago also. It’s REALLY not for anyone staunchly anti-abortion, mind.
    (thinking loop…….)
    I’ve SEEN a lot of romantic movies in my lifetime, but they’re not coming easily to me off the top of my head…

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Show Me Love was kind of sweet also. Swedish teen lesbians… *disney-eyes*

  • omitted

    “I’ve a lot of romantic movies in my lifetime”
    You live in a movie?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Excellent anal-sys, Maggit!

  • omitted

    Fucking Åmål, you mean?

  • Tips hat.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    So, game people, speaking of romance, is there a game that pulls that one off?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    MANY movies. It’s a side-effect of acute delusional disorder.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mass Effect.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    She’s from bus.

  • omitted

    No, what you need is an intervention.

  • I hear Mass Effect Erect did. Didn’t feel it. My Shepard stayed a virgin.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    You’re gonna carry that weight… in yer arse.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    *space virgin

  • Wizard Phoenix

    See you, space virgin.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    BLAHH! Well, I’m not deleting mine.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I also perceive Paranormal Activity as a weirdly romantic movie.

  • omitted

    Fun fact: ‘Mass Effect’ is my nickname for my penis.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I have that with Braindead or (sigh) Dead Alive

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Please stop and go and bang Steve Cortez

  • “We’ll bang, OK?”

  • omitted

    Does Disqustapo know what kind of language you use to describe her here?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Was Solid Snake taken?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Umm, I kind of got into the quick-time-event sex in Heavy Rain? (I can’t resist a man who’s all mangled and downtrodden.)
    And Metal Gear Solid 1, but that’s because I’m weird…

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I would dip my greeting card into hers pocket full of sunshine.

  • Definitely better than old or liquid snake. One is probably wrinkled and flaccid, the other can’t hold urine.

  • tOmy`

    Sex Villa 3D.

  • Leisure suit Larry. Or that game with Ron Jeremy.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Not played that, only seen the little finger part on Youtube.

  • JASON? JASON!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    That finger part was VERY effective while playing it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What was that about kegels?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    SHAUN! SHAAAUUN!

  • TapewormBikeForever

    It was effective while watching too, I can only imagine the interactivity bringing even more to it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Prince of Persia:Sands of Time.

  • LIES! ALL IS SEE IS DRY HUMPING.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I hated that movie.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I thought I switched the cam off.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Oi’m Nahmin Jaaydin!

  • The game was ok. I enjoyed Warrior Within more, despite its forced edginess.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    How do you think I feel? SoT trilogy are some of my favorite games ever:(

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Was is the sand?

  • omitted

    Prince of Perversia: Glans of Mine

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It was rough, course, and it got everywhere.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    *sucks in air through teeth*

  • tOmy`

    Fun fact: ‘Mass Defect’ was the reason of my recent breakup.

    Well… it’s not… well, it wasn’t that ‘fun’… you know, it was… *sobs*… pathetic *mumbles*… chains and hearts got broken… police got involved…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Experience it for yourself

    https://youtu.be/3o-uM4V3Sdo

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Do the Japanese ‘release’ differently from the rest of the world?

  • omitted

    Another one flew the coop?

  • Like Icare

    Ahnold was actually in it – made out of pixels.
    They even bragged about making the CGI model by scanning the original plaster mold made of Ahnold’s body back for the Terminator.

    But it’s not the presence or absence of Ahnold.
    It’s the presence of MacJee and a really pointlessly disjointed story which can’t decide who’s the main character.

    Avatar-guy or the Batman? Or maybe Nu Chekov? Or maybe the little hairy kid? Or Helena Bonham Carter? Or maybe one of the Transormers robots?

    And then it tries to be like… messagy and stuff… power of heart… something…

    Seriously, Terminator 3 is a quality piece of film art in comparison.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Yep, they changed the name for release here.
    (Åmål is a ‘locality’, not a ♀character, in case anyone was wondering…)

  • The devil doesn’t want us to see it. Embeds don’t work.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    They called it Love is Love here, because of a czech song about “girls dating girls and boys dating boys” Great movie

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Ooh, that’s one of my favorite Queen songs!

  • omitted

    I remember seeing it in junior high. The whole school went to a screening and I got to sit next to my (straight) crush. Of course all I had the nerve to do was laugh with him at the ‘stupid lesbians’. The more things change…

  • tOmy`

    Yea. This one actually made it almost across the border.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I genuinely enjoy that first song.

  • omitted

    Aww. Well, plenty more fish in the sea gullible broads around…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    WW had the best gameplay of the series but SoT had the best story.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Not even Beyond Two Souls can destroy my love for Heavy Rain…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOuaHh9TZkg

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I was this close to posting a video of super cute baby bats. Time to go to sleep. Good night, words on the screen, what appear without me typing ’em.

  • omitted

    Big or little spoon tonight?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    These days I’m lucky not to get a knife

  • omitted

    Auts.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell
  • Like Icare

    It has moments and shots that are supposed to be cool.
    It has name-drops and locations and self-fulfilling prophecy moments hinted at in T1 and T2.
    In other words – it knows the mythology.

    But instead of making a straight-forward War Against the Machines movie – it tries to be a Pinocchio McTinman movie.

    Story about a wooden character (Get it!?) who thinks that he is a real boy but finds out that he is made of tin, so he decides to play Jesus by sacrificing himself for humanity’s sake by giving his heart to the real Jesus.
    https://antidev.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/terminatorsalvationbdcap6_original.jpg
    Get it?

    Oh… and it also tries to be about John Connor AND a Transformers movie too.
    And McGoo is an incompetent moron.

  • Palpatine
  • Joe Syxpac

    Chocolate bunnies are gonna be so cheap tomorrow!

  • What about Mayonnaise?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Mayonaise prices are scheduled to rise.

    Stock up today.

  • Joe Syxpac

    King Kong Lives does have some nasty Kong on Kong action in it.

  • Like Icare

    Japanese have a whole genre of those. Some weirder than others.

    Then again, they also have a table-flipping game.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8cTdFqwdwc

    And then there’s “Boong-Ga, Boong-Ga”.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KpDvY6fkZk

  • Palpatine

    Since it’s getting boring here, let’s go back to talking positively about the Terminator movies. Which one do you like better, The Terminator or T2?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m going to steal “what appear without me typing ’em” should I ever decide to write poetry.

  • Nostalgia glasses say T2. I think it was more memorable, that canal chase alone made it worth watching. Sarah Connor’s nightmare was always so disturbing and viceral, yeah, it had some really memorable scenes. I don’t think any of the scenes in the first one got embedded in my brain as in the case of T2.

  • Palpatine

    Same here. I still think the original is a great film, but it feels a little outdated and kind of cheesy by today’s standards.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Oh, that Mayo.

    Yeah, he’s probably fermented by now. Pass on it.

  • My ex wife

    You just won everything!

  • My ex wife
  • RLMkeepitup

    exactly 2 of the comments relate to the video topic haha. Wonder what the moderator thinks of ya’ll.

  • My ex wife

    We know they hate us.

  • My ex wife

    Well if you’re not going to do it…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uuvaos1WHTk

  • I saw Terminator in the theatre in ’84 with my dad and had no idea what the movie was going to be about. Up until then, he had taken me to see Cannonball Run movies and shit. The Terminator caused me to have an early puberty. It was also the first somewhat dark scifi I had yet seen. So T1 for me 🙂

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Terminator 1 is scarier. It’s pretty much an Alien/Aliens thing for me.

  • Palpatine

    Same here. But T2, like Aliens, has a lot of heart too it. And the ending is a real tearjerker.

  • Palpatine
  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Pre Rec is always a lawless terrain. And it’s not like this is even a farm-fresh Pre Rec… == I’m sure they can’t be surprised. :p

  • Palpatine

    Good.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Rammstein’s “Du Hast” is our official community theme.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Oui, I enjoy them both about equally in different ways.
    I guess I think Alien and Terminator 1 are better “art” though. *blows bubbles out of a pipe*

  • omitted

    Blows Bubbles?! You leave that poor chimpanzee alone!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Lol, poor Rich Evans. Oh well… he should have known there would be consequences for fucking that droid.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Bleh. /hairball

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Terminator. As good as T2 is, I don’t understand why Cameron felt like he had to include Bart Simpson in the movie. I know, I know, in 1990/1991 when T2 was being written and filmed Bart was the biggest thing in pop culture. “Ay, Caramba!””Don’t Have a cow, man!””No problemo!””Hasta la vista, Baby!” Eddie Furlong even sounds like Nancy Cartwright in the movie.

  • Palpatine

    I can’t argue with that. But in Cameron’s defense, I’m sure he only wrote that dialogue for the younger audience members.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Which one of you is Chris Colton?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s why they took our gifs away.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Toughs choice between signing this or ‘Pfizer: Take Horse Urine Out of Hormone Medication’.

  • Robby

    I always thought it was FUCK the Pohleez.

  • Robby

    It sounds like something Hagrid would say. That’s a Harry Potter character, you filthy mudbloods.

    That was also a Harry Potter reference.

  • Robby

    Depends what you mean. Most games are contrived or overly simplistic. The best one I ever saw was in The Darkness. In the first level the player character goes to his girlfriend’s new apartment and they celebrate his birthday. She makes him a cake, and then falls asleep on him while they watch To Kill a Mockingbird. Which actually will play in its entirety if you want to sit there and watch it.

  • Robby

    I really, really like 50/50, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and High Fidelity.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc3TYIIpOZM

    “It’s the new Belle and Sebastian.”
    “Holy sheite. What the fuck is this?”

  • its called bleach

    upstream colour

  • Bubs

    I’m not complaining about people liking it. It’s probably a pretty good show. I just meant that it has already been talked to death.

  • Bubs

    Oh baby.

  • Bubs

    The Last of Us. The love between an old man and a little girl has never been so real.

    But in all seriousness, no not really. I’ve played a bajillion games. There have been times where I cared about “saving the girl” and times where I care if she lives/dies. But I’ve yet to see a game that created a realistic relationship between the hero and his love interest. But then, no game has ever really set out to focus on that aspect.

    Even a game like Dragon Age: Origins, which has some of the best written characters ever seen in a video game, still tacks on the love-interest. You say a few nice things to them, and then BAM it’s already sexy time.

    I think to create a believable romance relationship, the game would need to really focus on that aspect. There are a lot of things that would need to go into it, and not just good writing (which is still a precious commodity in the game world). This would require taking time away from other important areas of the game, such as combat and gameplay, which draws in roughly 90% of the video game crowd.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Fuck the pain away.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    *face palm* I walked right into that one, didn’t I?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Does that REALLY work, Dr. Domo?
    Also, how’s Mr. Domo?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Japanese dating-sim games tend to be way more stylized and archetypal rather than realistic depictions of romance.
    (That being said… I did get a kick out of playing ‘True Love Story’ for the ps1 back in my early 20s. I managed to seduce the hard-to-get girl, yea! I was very proud…)

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Almost melts my grinchy little heart. :’/

  • tOmy`

    Dear imaginary f(r)iends. It’s time to bid you all goodbye and look for a greener pasture. Today afternoon, we shall be leaving on a small road trip that will take us through Germany and Denmark to Stockholm (for Americans: A country, a country and a city) and then off to a 4 days long LAN party.

    By bidding goodbye I of course mean being here till afternoon and then commenting again when I reach wifi… so let’s say something around 12 hours. Still, I know I shall be missed.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Hey… My poor American feelings. u.u
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo7g0FQS6q0#t=0m11s

  • tOmy`

    Just trying to help out! I have many friends who found Americans offensive, because they cannot point out Czech Republic on a map. These are usually the very same people having problems pointing at NYC (that has more people than our beloved shithole), or even having problems locating doors when I politely point to them and tell them to get the fuck out.

    I had to study hard to learn a lot about USA so I can crack these jokes.

  • omitted

    Stockholm, eh? That’s almost within my reach. You know they named one particular syndrome after that place…

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    *Czechoslovakia. I refuse to get with the times.

  • tOmy`

    “David Lynch Says He Won’t Direct the ‘Twin Peaks’ Revival” And this is why we can’t have nice things.

  • omitted

    Finally I’ve cracked Jennifer’s true identity:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

  • tOmy`

    If you listen very closely, you can hear all the HBO execs rushing to the office today.

  • omitted

    No disturbance in the Force though?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    It’s true. The lack of maps is a serious human rights issue here in the IraqSouth AfricaUnited States. And such as like.

  • omitted

    From the Wikipedia page about Stockholm syndrome: “…the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness.”

    So when I eventually capture Jay in my basement, I’m really just returning the favor for all of us poor souls in the comment section, right? Right?!

  • tOmy`

    Only disturbance in banking sector. HBO will withdraw half of their budget and just ship it with hookers and cigies to Lynch with a small not: We beg you.

  • omitted

    peg*

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    It TOTALLY works. Remember Beauty & the Beast?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    HA! I feel very gratified in my curmudgeoney attitudes at this moment.

  • omitted

    *hides my wilting magical flower under a glass dome*
    No, why do you ask?

  • He thought that’s how children talk. In a way he was right, because most kids I knew quoted the film a lot.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I think you can still get arrested if you just cover it with a glass dome, Omy.

  • Then it turns into schlock.

  • omitted

    Who’s gonna report it to the authorities? My sex slave the candelabra? Didn’t think so.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Well, I can see you have a lot going on here.
    I think I’ll just go out and chill with my friends the wolves out there. They’re some cool dudes, yessir.

  • omitted

    Just be careful they don’t eat your ass. Wait, that came out wrong…

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Oh y’know, us gals are always trying to shed our asses ONE way or another.
    The South Bronx Paradise and chainsaw Diets are my personal favorites though.
    I will present my ass to the wolves willingly. I have no standards.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Oh! He says thank you for asking, and that he’s going to work from home today so that he can play a new Final Fantasy game he got while he’s on phone calls.

  • omitted

    Tech support or sex line?

  • omitted

    Among gay guys using teeth is a serious faux pas… unless they ask for it.

  • omitted

    Any chance for a new knuckle picture to tide us over? You know, for research purposes only.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Type-Zero? I hope he’s not prone to motion sickness… The camera blur seems rough on the PS4 version.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    ^ Ever faithful.

  • tOmy`

    I will do my best to send some pics during the road trip.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Nyope.

  • omitted

    I’ll be looking forward to that.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    “Original Sin” sucks. That is all…

  • omitted

    Thanks for not using the word ‘old’.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    (I’m sure we all feel like David Bowie in the latter parts of ‘The Hunger’.)

  • omitted

    Games?

  • Palpy, you live in Helsinki? I’d have thought an ex-dictator would move some place warm, you know, like South America.

  • omitted

    Don’t forget to pack your skirt and pompoms!

  • I bet it does. Omi, help! I’m not too good at innuendo.

  • omitted

    Et tu, Sheev? I guess there is something about RLM that speaks to the Finnish mentality of ‘everything is shit’.

  • omitted

    Asked the man to throw suspicion off himself…

  • omitted

    That whale-beast from Final Fantasy X? I thought it was pretty cool…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I would love to see how you can sexify designing plane engines.

    If you can beat polar otter’s description, I’ll bake you cookies.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I kinda like apples…

  • omitted

    Adam’s?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Fuck, he gets taste of the places outside borders, he ain’t coming back. (rimming joke? I’ll sort it out later)

  • TapewormBikeForever

    I don’t usually get to know their names. Or faces.

  • omitted

    High five, bro.

  • omitted

    Please, all I need to do is quote Wikipedia and your mind will do the rest: “A jet engine is a reaction engine that discharges a fast moving jet of fluid to generate thrust by jet propulsion”

  • omitted

    Your country is a literal shithole?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    His knuckles are burnt because of that incident with the matches.

  • omitted

    No worries, I like ’em a bit raw anyways.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’m going camping in the bush all week. a week with no electricity. if i dont make it back, auction my worldly goods to raise money and send RLM more Nukie tapes.
    they do it all for the nukie

  • Andrew Thompson.

    euros all look the same to me.

  • omitted

    Camping in the bush? Say hello to George W. for me.

  • Cakefarts

    They say that everyone has a twin somewhere in the world.

    http://i.imgur.com/AXH4LiW.jpg

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’ll give him a Glasgow kiss for you.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    “mom why does homer have that small gotie?”

  • omitted

    He’s from the mirror universe.

  • tOmy`

    As a matter of fact, I actually thought about bringing my skirt. But then I bought absolutely badass awful women sunglasses and a beautiful hat with flowers.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What is it with everyone suddenly leaving their house for an extended period of time?

  • omitted

    All the important people got their evacuation order from the Illuminati, I guess.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Easter. school holidays. i’m my own boss so i can.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Shhhhh its a secret!
    they sent me yours, it went to your old apartment and was returned! i told you to update your address!
    now hurry up and pack before… IT happens.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i have a beard, in the mirror universe am i nice?

  • omitted

    Oops, I meant the universe where mirrors don’t exist.

  • omitted

    They moved up the schedule, AGAIN?! But what about my plan to rig the Finnish parliamentary election…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Hmmm. Polar Otter said Suck, Bang, Blow.

    Engine sucks in air. Combustion causes a bang. Air blows out the back.
    I’ll still bake you cookies.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    but how will i make my self pretty in the mornings with out a mirror?

  • tOmy`

    No pics for you then! And that includes my wall of shame!

  • omitted

    I see, he went the overt route. I do appreciate a man who doesn’t mince words. It’s all cool, I’m already pretty baked myself.

  • omitted

    According to my news feed it’s supposed to be on Showtime. You know, the poor man’s HBO.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    do it. i was going to post something on my trip, if i get some bars.

  • omitted

    Oh, can’t wait!

  • omitted

    You were born pretty, honey!

  • Like Icare

    Stylized and archetypal rather than realistic?

    So is every depiction of romance in fiction (and most “documentary” depictions too).

    Regardless of the medium.

    There’s hardly a more fictional “genre” out there than romance.
    Heck… Even the name of the genre is a far more idealized description of “emotional and sexual relationship between humans” genre than any other.

    On the other hand…
    I like that Japanese are going for those niches in fiction, game or otherwise, that no one else apparently even imagines story-worthy.
    It’s really hard to imagine a AAA dating-sim or a hardcore cooking title coming out of EA or whatever any time soon.
    Or a TV drama about fishing.

  • tOmy`

    Hehe, yea, that’s what I meant: HBO will be quickly on the case to steal that shit.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • omitted
  • omitted

    But… the shirt… is on?!

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • omitted

    Much better!

  • Like Icare

    Ha-HA!
    I’m PROTECTED against that too!

    https://i.imgflip.com/ad28v.gif

  • Like Icare

    Depends.
    Do you have a twin? Or a clone? Or a clone army?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    A) you should use Ailluminati foil.
    and
    B do it properly.
    let us bask in the Weirdness of the Al

    https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/t31.0-8/r180/p960x960/1052405_725596697459131_1469528529_o.jpg

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i want to say, both?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I Really, really really. FUCKING AM MILDLY BORED BY JJ ABRAMS!!!!!
    its hard to explain…
    its like everything he does is a tired rehash of a twitter #.
    #HASHPOUND#LensFlare#
    fuck you! but mildly, with deliberate blurs, crash zooms and FUCKING LENS FLARE!!!!!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    NO!
    Edit sorry i meant NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    they will all be dead in 24 hours… let it go.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    ^that is a accurate textual representation of a JJ joint.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    even i dont believe the stories about my birth and i was there!
    if i told you you would think it was a joke.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Well, I am going to be alone next week. Watching stuff, trying not to think how much should I be doing. In my underwear.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you wear underwear? how bourgeoisie…

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • omitted

    I’ve been doing it for two days now. Pretty relaxing.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    K, my out.
    oxox.
    see you all soon.

  • omitted

    Your what is out?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    my is out. me is… sleep now?

  • omitted

    Me, myself and I wish you sweet dreams.

  • New content… Sorta underwhelming. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35T9I7lSD_g

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Still the same one, though.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Have I turned into a a mere guest?

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Phew

  • omitted

    Oh, it’s been a while since I heard the language of my people. Wait, what…

  • omitted

    Uh, nasty. So your mind isn’t the only dirty thing about you?

  • On the flip side, they’re saying a new HitB is due soon.

  • omitted

    On what, Furious 7? Well at least I can concentrate on masturbating furiously while watching Jay…

  • You and me both. Though sometimes I prefer Japanese milf porn.

  • omitted

    ‘Murican dilfs do it for me usually.

  • On a serious note, I hope it’s not. They haven’t watched anything good that wasn’t total schlock in a while.

  • omitted

    What else is there?

  • They’ve mentioned at least a few films they’ve seen recently on Livestreams and such. Hey, maybe it’s Zardoz.

  • omitted

    Okay, I just found out that Furious 7 made almost 150 million on it’s opening weekend. Faith in humanity lost (again).

  • Fuck humanity, I gave up on it a long time ago. I find it disgusting how they’re using Paul Walker’s CG corpse to profit off his death. Sorta like Optimus Prime in Transformers: The Age of Extin… what?

  • Trask

    Cry me a river.

  • omitted

    I’m okay with that. I’m a necrophiliac that way.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    cough Inherent Vice cough

  • More like Incoherent Vice. At least that’s what I thought their impression was.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Well I meant it in terms of you saying “they haven’t watched anything good in a quite while” They watched plently good films but they seem to reserve reviews only for crap nowdays.Shit like half the movies in oscar buzz episode could’ve easily warranted a review(foxcatcher,whiplash,the entire foreign films category ffs)

  • Yeah, I was a bit too liberal with my wording. Sorry about that. I kind of wish they’d do a review of a good film for once. You know, they could use some positivity for once. Mike is seriously losing his mind, it seems.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    My life is a lie. I’m so disappointed.

  • Hey, you’re always welcome to our little Funhouse of Richness.

  • Are those boobs or manboobs? I can’t tell? A dick would clear things up but this could easily be a mangina.

  • omitted

    “A dick would clear things up”
    It usually does, at least for me.

  • Well, I just excluded a whole lot of transgender people.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    He’s not losing his mind-that’s just his alcoholism in full effect.

  • All this talk of S.O.S.,The Last Temptation of Christ and Easter seems to have influenced the ads on this webzone. http://i.imgur.com/f1PR8e9.jpg
    I’m surprised I haven’t seen any saying “Meet buff dudes in L.A.” yet.

  • Robby

    It’s too calm and peaceful in here. Let’s talk ’bout Poluticks and or relijun.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Just make sure he doesn’t get lightheaded form the lack of Wisconsin air. You gotta pump that into his lungs and keep pumping.

  • omitted

    Rest assured, I will be pumping, hard. 😉

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Those ‘Bloody Birthday’ planets alignin’ against us.

  • What are those Poluticks you speak of?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Well, as far as political systems goes I think the movie with the best solution was Robot Jox. This whole ‘Nuclear Iran’ thing could easily have been settled by pairs of robots from the countries concerned fighting for the solution and before a much larger television audience.

  • I am looking forward to Mad Max: Fury Road. I just am. Jeez!

  • omitted

    Poly-dicks*

  • You mean, like echidnas have?

  • Jason Ross

    David Lynch leaving the new Twin Peaks serial, Fast F⌂ckin 7 makes $400bil worldwide or something this weekend, and the creator of Revengeporn sentenced to 17 years.

    This may be the worst Easter Monday of all time. Even the Dyngus Day parade cannot reverse my depression.

  • Jason Ross

    For the last goddamn time, it’s nuke-you-ler.

  • Jason Ross

    I’ve told my now ex-wife that posting things such as her supple figure on the Internet can only lead to completely-justified comparisons to cartoon characters.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Try this with a heaping portion of heroin:
    “Do you want to have a good time? Of course you do.”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDbQpn2-M4s

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Clownhouse (1989) – worth my time or letdown?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCniXCkEZy4

  • What the hell is Revengeporn?

  • Looks like a rip-off of “It”. Interestingly enough, it was released a year before. Ooh, they don’t have supernatural powers. That makes it a bit different, I guess.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    At 81 minutes its get in-get out quick and has Sam Rockwell. One day I hope Cynthia Rothrock marries Sam Rockwell and changes her last name to Rothrock-Rockwell.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That gum I like is not coming back in style:(

  • Like Icare

    Rockwell Rothrock sounds like something a Klingon might order for dinner.

  • its called bleach

    the only hand of fate here is the hand that fates me to explosive climax as i watch new rlm content. its also my hand

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Waitstaff put ‘Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra’ on the kitchen ticket.

  • Like Icare

    Postin pix of your X.

    I’m guessin that the underlying logic is shaming… but… not sure how can that ever not be a two-way street?
    You can’t say “This is a whoreslut I fucked” without sayin “I’m a kinda person whose into whoresluts”.

    It’s like when we were kids. We were third grade I think.
    Back in the days dinosaurs roamed the earth and the VCRs played sped up sound as you fast forwarded the tape…

    This kid in class came to school with a stack of photos (not magazine prints – color photographs) of some naked chick posing in someone’s apartment.
    One distinctive feature of the photos being that she kept trying to hide her face – so someone asked “Why is she hiding her face?”
    To which the provider of photos replies “Cause she’s a whore.”

    Now… it didn’t dawn on me until much later, but that was a lot of photos. Quite a bundle. Not something you can just smuggle out of your older neighbor’s home when he’s not looking, like you could do with a porn mag stuck under your shirt.
    So he probably got them from his dad’s drawer instead.

    Draw own conclusions from there.

  • Like Icare

    What will Asylum call theirs?

    Mad Fury: Maximum Road?
    Mad Road: Fury To The Max?
    Mad and the Furious?
    Road to Madness: Furious Fox?
    Star Max: Furious VII?

  • Like Icare

    So like… Who owned if prior to ’99? Was it the Jews?

    You know… in the Old-New testament spirit and all?
    Do they still have the old Sumerian furniture in the basement? I hear they might be making a comeback.

  • Like Icare

    J-j-joint?

    You should check that… It might be early onset Parkinson’s when your fingers twitch like that.
    MJFox started feeling his pinky twitching way back when he was filming Doc Hollywood.

  • Like Icare

    Well you better go catch it… no… wait… I forgot the punchline.

    Something-something Episode 2. Begun has.

  • Like Icare

    It’s the moments like this that I get nostalgic about the old day when you had to wait for weeks for your vacation photos to come in.
    And then to find out that someone fucked up and they sent you a box of slides instead.

  • Like Icare

    “Hello? Mr. Pimp? Do you have any girls called Fate? Hope too? Naah… Just send Fate. I’m not doing a Star Wars night this evening.”

  • Palpatine
  • dollar store cashier wife

    Mad Max:Furry Road Rash

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    So my mom called this morning asking if she’s doing a Tricep Dip right. Is she using a bench? A chair? A step ladder? Nope!

    She’s using a kitchen counter, and asked me to try a tricep dip in this fashion. Apparantly her Physical Therapist recommended the kitchen counter.

  • Palpatine

    Hopefully she’ll move better than Linda and Betty.

  • TapewormBikeForever

    Oh God. Oh God. THINK ABOUT THE POTTED PLANTS!

  • I know you’re joking but I’ll repost what I wrote on reddit.
    I’m not sure how it is with the film industry but in the video-game
    industry they’d make them sign waivers that would disallow them to talk
    about the film for a certain period of time (for example until it
    releases) or that would forbid them to criticize certain aspects of it.
    What I’m saying is, there may be strings attached if this actually
    succeeded.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    All the potted plants are dead, Tape.

    They didn’t make it.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I just want RLM to try their hand at getting a quote on a movie trailer commercial/ad. If it was said by Rich Evans, all the better.

    “I felt like I was watching a real Star Wars Movie.”
    “There isn’t as much lens flare in this JJ Abrams film.”
    “I like to milk my cat.”

  • TapewormBikeForever

    “Rich Evans laughter”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Why haven’t you made a fitness video yet, Palpy? You completely rehabilitated a nearly dead Jedi. implanted orders into countless billions of physically fit clones, and were looking into the secrets of eternal life. Neither Obamacare or Richard Simmons has anything on you.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    All the potted plant thought was, “Oh no, not again.”

  • Jason Ross

    my tits have been soothed and calmed

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Sure, but it was a discussion of romance done well in games. So you have to hold it to some kind of (subjective) standard.
    I put dating sims about on the level of Twilight in terms of well-developed “relationships” in fiction. They can be fun, but mainly because the gameplay is very idiosyncratic. It’s a kind of quirky, cheesecake, fantasy fulfillment.
    I would like to see the genre implemented in a more-elaborate/less-formulaic way in terms of gameplay (rather than just amusing twists on setting), but I realize the tech may simply not be there yet.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    There wouldn’t be any pics anyway. :p I won’t believe your lies, temptress!

  • Max Rash: Thunderpants

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Bzzzt. No. David Bowie was NEVER cast in “The Hunger Gaymes”.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    *puts on professorial spectacles* So in your view, Dr. Omitted, would ‘Original Sin’ refer to Zaon or to Yu Yevon himself? And how does this relate to the role of women in modern society?

    (And yes, I’m well aware that spoiler tags don’t work on Disqus.)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    How can you survive being with your mom with the smell of urine in the air?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re from Finland?

  • Palpatine

    No, I currently live in New Jersey.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Kinda like me in LA.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    My mother died her hair the same color as Linda’s. All I can think about now is her potted plants.

  • Dyed*, I hope.

  • Like Icare

    Ah. So she is one of those well off people who posses a kitchen counter and are thus not discriminated against economically by the Dance of Death.

  • Like Icare

    Which one was the fuckup again?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I just thought it would be funny if one of them died and in between shots there’s a new old lady.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    In between shots?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Not unlike the ‘Greatest Man That Ever Lived’:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDFjhmPlayg

  • fred
  • Like Icare

    I’m saying that it is not the tech – it’s the genre.
    Well… at least until holodecks or cortical implants or sexdroids come along and then we’ll all just jump into porn fantasies.
    Some with more foreplay than others.

    Romance is to depiction of relationships as wuxia is to depiction of martial arts.
    Or what pulp fiction crime novellas are to actual cases of crime.

    An operatic, cheesy, fantasy fulfillment.Tropes of the genre are bound to take the story in that direction because they arise from the irrationality of the human behavior presented in the story.
    When in love we are literally on drugs that makes us insane.
    Not that we are really “rational actors” at any other time, but we really go cuckoo when in love.

    It can’t be less formulaic AND be a complete love story as the genre itself is formulaic at its core.

  • Robby

    Jeremy Jahn’s gave RedLetterMedia a shoutout! I was just randomly watching videos on his channel and was pleasantly surprised.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyisFK6dHnk

  • Palpatine

    What they didn’t show is what happened after they finished watching the tape:
    http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljeeq4MLqA1qi9q4ko1_500.gif

  • Like Icare

    This Dance of Death video tape has been recorded in memory of…

  • Like Icare

    They turned into exploding puppets?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mention him or Doug Walker you get a shit storm brewin up.

  • Palpatine

    Well, two exploding Nazi puppets and one exploding Frenchman puppet dressed as an ancient Jewish priest.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, they turned into wax.

  • Like Icare

    That makes sense.
    Most potted plants can’t dance and thus stave off osteoporosis and death.

    Most plants…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GncYQHBJIw

  • Robby

    Because Internet and opinions don’t mix. Practice safe Internets, kids.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The only thing that keeps us safe is our love for Star Wars and hate for the Prequels.

  • Like Icare

    Maybe we should initiate an ice bucket challenge like the bearded guy at the bottom of the page did?

    What was that for again? Osteoporosis dancing?

  • Palpatine

    That’s a great idea! Forget about that American journalist in an Iranian prison.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ben Affleck can save him-but fuck that shit let’s get to some kitchen counters!

  • Like Icare

    They might get a quote on the Devedah/Blur box.

    We just need enough people to print the stickers and then go to their local Devedah/Blur store and stick those stickers to the boxes.
    It’s perfectly legal because parody and/or education and/or critique.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Doug is great. I’m sure Jeremy is interesting but I can’t stand jump editing, anyone else have an issue with it? I find it really jarring.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Please stop, Wormtongue, no more shit storms

  • Like Icare

    The milk and salad enchilada?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    OPINION TIME: Most excited film of the summer and your least. For me it will be Mad Max and Terminator Fuck You.

  • Like Icare

    Wait… how does that even work?
    People get friends to perform water torture on them so Iranians wouldn’t water torture someone else?

    Anyway, back to 9/11.

  • Like Icare

    The tennisball player?

  • Palpatine

    Jurassic World and Terminator: Sega Genisys.

  • Robby

    The Revenant. I qualify this by saying that even though it comes out on Christmas, I’m sure it will still be as hot as the summer.

  • RLMkeepitup

    saving my $$ for when Ben Assflex stars as batman in 2016’s Batman v Superman:Dawn of Justice, man

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Has anything good come out of the promotional stuff yet for Terminator Book of Genisys with music by Genesis?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Ben Asschin

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Love and hate. It’s like poetry.

  • Palpatine

    Hey, these frauds said on Twittbook and Faceter that a new HitB will be up soon! Where the hell is it?!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I’d argue it could be both of those things with more advanced software tech. But of course, even in that hypothetical scenario, Japanese companies could easily continue to make classical-style dating sims as well, as a lot of people do enjoy the less-realistic formula. But that doesn’t mean there’s no room for video game genres to change or evolve. I would personally find a more nuanced Japanese dating-sim very engaging and enjoyable.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    .
    (Forgive me, orphan-comment!)

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

  • Joe Syxpac

    THE MILLENNIUM FALCON! ITS THE MILLENNIUM FALCON! OH GOD! OH MY GOD! I GOTTA PLAY WITH MY STAR WARS TOYS! OH YEAH! OH YEAH! STAR WARS! STAR WARS! I LOVE FUCKING STAR WARS!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Since you probably won’t see my edit below, I wanted to formally apologize for positing the exact same Heavy Rain video-link as you in the same thread. It was an accident, I swear. A synchronous search coincidence, or some such.
    (There now, my internet conscience is clear…)

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Mmm. Lost an episode RLM has. How embarrassing. How embarrassing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This party’s over

  • Palpatine

    I’m gonna sit on the bench for this one. But have fun!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    -What are midichlorians?
    -It’s heroin

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It’s clear to me none of you have ever been this high before.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This sucks! I HATE BEING IN THE FRIENDZONE!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’m not going to say it again: I wanted to stay in and drink.

  • Wizard Phoenix