Pre-Rec: Dragon’s Dogma

February 8, 20161,523 Comments

Rich and Jack delve hip deep into Helm’s Deep to explore the generic fantasy of Dragon’s Dogma.

Filed in: Previously Recorded

  • iamarchaeus

    shit isnt working assholes.

  • Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • How about content you fat skinny *bleep*!

  • B S

    Rich now has exactly one shirt

  • Pre Rec? More like Pre Flop! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • There we go. Video working fine now! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • LOOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

  • Yes! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • I LOVE PRE REC Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • If you at first don’t succeed…. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • Spoiled Ants

    dat sweater..

  • Yes Star Wars Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • Palpatine

    Hahahahahahahahaha!

  • Like Icare

    Pre Rec is the ugly child of the RLM family. Nobody really loves it.

  • But I do. I love the Twitch streams.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Jay sometimes appearing in those is the only saving grace. Seeing Jack&Rich fundamentally misunderstand the games they are playing for 6 hours gets old after 6 minutes and their twitch community is pure fucking cancer. Nothing but shitty memes and edgy hipsters who hate every single movie/game ever made with no other reason then “somebody other then me knows about it!”

  • Spoiled Ants

    Ditto. I prefer the the streams too.
    The reviews are just a summary without all the good parts of the stream (cursing, taunting, voice-acting and sometimes total resignation). And when the react to recent trailers.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    New Pr[olapsed]eRec[tum]? Hahahahahahahahahahahahhaha

  • Percy Gryce

    CAPCOM, Steam, XBox 360, PS3, PC??? They lost me 40 seconds in.

  • Palpatine

    Steam power is the way of the future Perce ol’-boy!

  • Yes, I agree… um. Yes. Community cancer, yes. I can watch many streams. Tend to agree with their game play. I say familiarity is my strongest love for it all.

  • Mike Gillis

    Wait! I know what will fix it! Let’s all act like entitled pieces of shit to them!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I hunker down for Jay.

    XoXo Susan

  • Hunky Jay giveaway stream was solid gold. Also Mr. Stoklasa makes the poopy pants.

  • Percy Gryce

    If Jack owned a placket-fronted shirt, he wouldn’t have to tape a mic to his shirt every time.

  • Percy Gryce

    The steam engine was the devil’s work.

  • Satans wheel as granny calls it!

  • Palpatine

    But science and progress will change the way we live! Have you heard of this Thomas Edison fellow? He made something called a “litebulb”! Quite marvelous indeed.

  • Spoiled Ants

    You guys should’ve reviewed The Witness, It took ’em 12 years to make.

  • Spoiled Ants

    You mean that guy that gets a hard-on from electrocuting elephants?

  • Earth

    Move out of the way citizens of Gungaland, Boss Nass is drunk as shit again.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Haahahahahaahahahaaaahah

  • dollar store cashier wife

    lol. yeah pretend they do this shit for free. from what I counted they raked in thousands of dollars from yday’s PreRec stream alone.

  • Earth

    I wanted to find a clip of Boss Nass laughing, but watching clips from Phantom Menace just made me sleepy.

    http://s3.amazonaws.com/images.hitfix.com/assets/9866/Jar_Jar_Givings.jpg

  • Earth

    Jack thinks archaic monsters are unimaginative……

  • Spoiled Ants

    I hope that cliffhanger with the doorbell will get resolved on the next episode.
    Unless, it’s Jonathan Blow with a suitcase full of cocaine.

  • Moke

    Steam is mostly fine for me now. Except that I can’t buy the international version in my country. Means no mercenary mode in Resident Evil 4 and no adult content in visual novels. What enrages me is I pay money for the full game. Not the cut version. And there is no warning from steam that this product might be not complete.

  • Moke

    If you are a fan of Berserk, Record of Lodoss War or the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon you will love this game.

  • I… used to be a fan of D&D. I still like this game.

  • Moke

    Capcom is mostly famous for Mega Man (Rocket Man), Resident Evil (Biohazard) and Street Fighter. Devil may Cry, too. I was pretty surprised that Dragons Dogma was from Capcom.

  • This episode had a severe case of “I wanted it to be like Bloodborne”. I came with similar expectations to the game – I wanted it to be like Dark Souls. In some respects it was but in others it wasn’t. Nevertheless what I got was a really good title with many inherent flaws that hopefully will get changed in the sequel (confirmed to be in the works).

    And I still don’t get how they think those monsters are bad. The Griffin and the Chimera are one of the best designs I’ve seen in years – they looked eerily realistic. I only wish the game had more monsters like this.

  • Now I Get It

    You’re right, that would be funnier.

  • With a name like that, how could he not appear with blow?

  • Forced but so good in the end.

  • VanDerSm00th

    There needs to be more of Rich Evan’s french accent. At least once in every new episodes.

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    *Sigh*

  • Gallen Dugall

    Actually the cyclops was a wooly mammoth skeleton. The Greeks would find bones of extinct animals try to make sense of them and usually built shrines to them. Dinosaur bones in particular.

  • Robotpals

    Don’t you know? The world has been on a steady upward graph from “Dumb” to “Super smart!” Those idiot Ancient Greeks, accurately calculated the radius of the spherical earth without COMPUTERS! Invent computers first, genius.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I won’t buy your Space Cop until to spread your new content for me you fucks! I think it’s time to fire Mike and Jay though, at least Rich and Jack can hold some sort of a schedule.

  • Marvin

    And let’s pretend they only do this shit for themselves.

  • Damian

    hahaha green screen at 22:31.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Insomnia is a superpower…. No wait I meant supervillain.

  • Percy Gryce

    I was thinking merely about civilized conduct, but you’re right there is a kind of dog-walking-on-its-hind-legs quality to that image.

    I did learn from the Space Cop commentary that Jack has a role in that late, lamented unfinished masterpiece. And although he plays an alien, he is much better attired.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Blue face is specist.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    * Googles “placket” *
    Oh! Sick burn!

  • Paulus Nuns
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Hate to tell you, kiddo, but that’s the happiest you’re ever gonna be.

  • Crixxxx

    Hello – do you have an embarrassing Kylo Ren hoodie in XXL?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • I agree and oversleeping is its evil twin. I just got up and it’s 6:40 PM. *cries*

  • You watched the new Pre-Rec?

  • Crixxxx

    Or one of the clip mics that they use on HITB.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Wait til Miguel dares to play some videogames, that’s a sight to behold.

  • So, how many licks does it take till you get to the center of the?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    This episode was a real turkey; I could hardly sit through [five minutes of it] a second time.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Hearing Rich say, “griffiths and chai-meras” made my D&D hurt. Then, Rich tries to give us a limp historical perspective of why they cyclops is a really an elephant skull, while mistakenly saying the cyclops has always been represented as having pachyderm skin. Shut your fucking sexy mouth Rich.

  • Daniel Harrington

    That’s basically what they said, paraphrasing a bit but basically what they just said.

  • Daniel Harrington

    Trying to read these comments gave me syphilis.

  • tOmy`

    Holy smokes, Jack, I know you are a farm boy, but Ancient Greeks really did not “put together 3 different animals” to make this game more interesting.

    That’s not how reality works.

  • Tapeworm

    Eh, fuck you anyway.

  • Hi Mr. Harrington! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I love you. Welcome!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    No. I’m imitating the Gungan.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Shut it real tight around my…Wait. What?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    That’s ten minutes! What’s wrong with your…watch?

  • Palpatine

    Don’t forget to go; “blblblblblblblblbl!”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    So, you’re saying that Smiley-Cat is just repeating, in, albeit, truncated form, what they said when they said the same thing in more detail?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Didn’t wanna drool on you. Know how you hate that.

  • Like Icare

    True dat.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    This is where a clown college degree leads you in life…

    ….

    Making tons of money on Youtube.

  • tOmy`

    I think I have found the perfect niche market for Pre-Rec: No, it’s not first impressions of games, it’s first impressions of gaming.

    Jack’s sincere wonder over role playing in an RPG, open world in an open world game and cliffs in a game… on a planet was awesome.

    I think we should create him a WoW account.

  • tOmy`

    Wait, are you saying that, and I quote here: “To paraphrase, you’re saying that Smiley-Cat is just repeating, in, albeit, truncated form, what they said when they said the same thing in more detail”?

  • TheManHole

    The shit in the background is more interesting then the what they are talking about.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s so dense.

  • Like Icare
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    To paraphrase, that’s exactly what I said they’re saying.

  • Domo

    Check engine light shows up on car.
    Random snow storm shows up while driving home.
    Chinese Delivery is going to take an hour to get here.
    New Pre-Rec show is on my computer.

    Why can’t anything go right today?! ARRRRRRGGGGGHH.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    LOUD NOISES!

  • Domo

    Boobery in the form of falling down stairs!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The neighbor shows up to borrow a stick of butter, and while you’re answering the door the cocoa boils over.

    (Am I doing this right?)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why don’t you talk about Witcher 3 dammit?!!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Um, well, “tons” is relative. Innint?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Which Witcher?
    3, dammit!

  • Anders Hass

    I wonder when Mike will be in one again :3

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I hear in terms of a comic book movie Deadpool is basically perfect. Good. I am for any movie in which I see Morena Baccarin’s butt.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    too many cutscenes bruh

  • tOmy`

    It actually sunk 2 points on Metacritic to like 64. Not very impressive. You know, for a perfect movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Too much boobies”
    -Jack Packard.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Metacritic gave Boyhood a perfect 100. Don’t trust them.

  • tOmy`

    Overrating shitty movies isn’t the best defense for Deadpool score, tho.

    But yea, I get you.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I find Jack’s beer gut to be disgusting. Go to a gym and experience your fear.

  • Now I Get It

    That was my first guess. That you were pretending the tape isn’t funnier was my second. That I talked myself in and out of two replies is what you get for having having propriety and wit. No wonder the Sailerman singled you out.

    NIGI Corp.: Missing rehearsal and fucking with your shit since 2013.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I rather have Boyhood hold on to that score then Deadpoop getting that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re like a Grinch, the shitty Jim Carrey Grinch.

  • tOmy`

    The Force Already Went To Sleep Again is trying to get some intellectual street cred between the underground hipsterdom:

    “Musical Jedi Master Rick Rubin has curated and produced a compilation, Star Wars Headspace, featuring new songs created using sound elements from Star Wars films. (Yes, that means producers like Flying Lotus, Rustie, A-Trak, Baauer, Röyksopp, Kaskade, Shlohmo, GTA, and others have made dance tracks out of Darth Vader’s breathing, Wookie roars, R2-D2’s bleeps and bloops, and more.)

    This will either be the best thing ever or a horrific fail. Anyway, the album boops on Feb 19.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What you just wrote makes no sense at all.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Good! championing mediocre superhero films got old back in 2012.

  • tOmy`

    TFA sounds + list of producers = music on Feb 19.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Cannot wait too hard!

  • Palpatine
  • Cream-A-Thon

    Kevin Smith shoulda made a Clerks game first. That shit I would play.

  • Snake Squeezer

    You racist!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I have a feeling you’ll like it or not once Mike and Jay say something about it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    could be good,could be bad. I’m more a fan of someone like Burial sampling a piece of grandiose pop culture and then tweaking it to the point of complete unrecognizability then this shit right there though. Feels a bit like having a cake and eating it at the same time.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s why it makes no sense.

  • tOmy`

    Hard to say, because they are not technically remixes, so the titles don’t refer to the original tracks.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They did it’s called life.

  • Like Icare

    And if nothing else… the (cross)promotion is great.

    http://i.imgur.com/2Wziw4O.gif

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Search your feelings because they are wrong. I disagreed with them countless times. Hell the last time happend one frikkin month ago month with The Revenant!

  • Palpatine

    But I like song where the flea guy goes; “Yo, yo! Aaaaaaaah!”

  • tOmy`

    You can check out the first 3 tracks: http://pitchfork.com/news/63412-star-wars-album-to-feature-flying-lotus-rick-rubin-jj-abrams-listen-to-new-flying-lotus-rubin-and-baauer-tracks/

    I don’t expect TRON: R3C0NF1GUR3D, but it doesn’t sound boring. Fly Lo’s R2D2 song is pretty cool.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Remember that Fox superhero universe photo with the cast of X-Men, Deadpool, and Fant4stic? They released a new one with out the Fant4stic cast.

  • Domo

    I can’t wait for a new Pre-Rec episode where Rich and Jack where green shirts. It’ll be great.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Oh, those wacky kids and their fun!

  • Like Icare

    Actually… no.

    And isn’t that racist and sexist because something-something black guy, something-something womyn?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    blblblblblblbl

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fant4stic offended everyone. Even starving African children in Cambodia.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Somebody please think of the children!

    Wait. Why are the starving African children in Cambodia? Is Cambodia racist?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    “I want to scare kids my giving Doom scanner powers because fuck you.”
    -Josh Tank.

  • Like Icare
  • Palpatine

    It’s just like that picture of Joseph Stalin and Nikolai Yezov.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ironically he quit Twitter because of the people who “love equality.”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    After they photo-shopped them all in? Crazy!
    Why is Channing Tatum there again?

  • Like Icare

    Don’t worry. Pedophiles got that covered. You can always count on them.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Isn’t it too soon to (have already) go(ne) off topic?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s Pre Rec. What did you expect?

  • Palpatine

    Yes No.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Historical referencing? Nice!
    Now, make a Rihanna joke and win the internet again, Palps.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    When ever a new BOTW drops I go
    http://i.imgur.com/iqPAC6O.gifv

  • tOmy`

    Hey, I already made 3 comments about this episode and a game I have literally no interest in. So I am off the hook!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Life is the treadmill we’re all on, my friend! (Thank you, John Kilduff!)

  • Percy Gryce

    She was great during the Super Bowl halftime show last night?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yeah, I guess. I never knew she was the lead singer for Coldplay.

    Ba-dm-tsh!

    #GettingItDone

  • tOmy`

    That was Queen Bey, not Queen RiRi

  • tOmy`

    Yea, now I get it, nevermind me.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    There is only one Queen, and she was a fat-bottomed girl who didn’t like Star Wars.

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    Oh… OH…

  • Like Icare

    Won’t that make them just a pair of… talking heads?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcYppAs6ZdI

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You pull the zipper of your jumpsuit all the way down to your crotch?

    #Sexy

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    DAY-UM! Give an old man with a weak heart a warning next time, wood ya, woodchuck?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Whenever Pre Rec drops I go
    https://youtu.be/cWfK5JyD2bA?t=47s

  • You know what’s funny about my new avatar? The fact that the non-photoshopped thing – the hair looks like it was photoshopped.

  • Like Icare

    Not all treadmills are equal.
    Some are electrified.
    Sometimes that means electric shocks.
    And sometimes your tail is stuck to the damn thing while its zapping you.
    http://psylab.idv.tw/animal%20models/inescapable%20foot%20shock.png

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Like Janice in accounting he don’t give a fuck. He don’t give a fuck.

  • Titanium Truxk

    idk if I’d call that “funny”

  • Titanium Truxk

    are all ur reactions are bb?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    No fucks given.

  • Klint

    That’s the key to all this – it’s a more interesting background than they’ve ever had before.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Since when did Breaking Bad have Oscar Isaac?

  • He’s going to be Gambit.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Not after HAIL, CAESAR! From now on, Tatum’s gonna be typecast as a singing, dancing, gay, Communist superstar.

  • Bouncý, Bouncý…

    stolen from courtesy of Grated Cheese

  • So, you mean he’ll be just like in Magic Mike and Magic Mike XXL?

  • You did a better job than James Cameron.

  • You dance with your robot girlfriend?

  • Percy Gryce

    SPOILERS!

  • Fuggin Andu wagin onabecu and ho muh gob bauby tha bloduh liminbuh!

    Friggin auzzie dialect!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Si-9gNnF7k&app=desktop

  • Ren1

    Love to see the ordinarily well mannered and kind Jack rip into lovers of dragons. What is the source of the hostility I wonder?

  • Ren1

    LOL

  • Moke

    Well you have to play first. I had this problem with Skyrim. Wanted to play it again for the DLCs but it goes way to long. I am now at hour 188 and saw approximately half of the content. (overpowered shield/mace Dunmer Necro Knight in full Daedra gear on legendary)

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Roland Emmerich vs Michael Bay. Who is the Best of the Worst?

  • Moke

    yeah :/

  • dollar store cashier wife

    This is what they should receive as a prize:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-dJPoSlPfU

  • Palpatine

    Wow. That’s a tough one.

  • Jason Ross

    “Rich and Jack delve hip deep into Helm’s Deep…”

    Nor a pun nor rhyme

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No he’s talking the plot of Her. Not a spoiler.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    ….can I pass?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Which one will bleed?

  • Moke

    I wonder if half of our discussions would be any different if we would be somewhere else. Or what Mike, Jay and Rich think about us. Yes we comment on things but did they ever answer us? Wouldn’t it be normal to comment the hilarious shit some of us fabricate? Isn’t it strange that there is only silence?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The audience’s eyes will bleed.

  • Palpatine

    Rhianna.

  • Moke

    Whoever wins we will lose.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Alliteration.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    My favorite DEADPOOL review blurbs, #2…

    “Pointing out how crappy other movies are doesn’t automatically make your movie good.” – something called Screen Crush

  • Moke

    Nah, its ok palpy. They are just too lazy to google Nikolai Yezov.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “…delve hip dick deep into Helm’s Deep”

    Now THAT’S alliteration!

  • Palpatine

    That’s what Frodo said to Sam.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The superhero movie to change the game…

    http://tinyurl.com/hpboqzs

    #DiversityBuilt-In

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    BAM!

    Back off Hannibal Burress. The Kid of Comedy is BACK, and he Just Flies, Baby! He gives no fucks!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So does the studio

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    FIFA should be the next Bond villain.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Can’t wait for their review of Star Craft and Black Thorn… Or SpaceCop: The Game

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Even if you are not looking forward to Deadpool be glad that it will make Gods of Egypt bomb.

  • Where are all Space Cop jokes/references?

  • His name… Holden Mydickie.

  • Skip Skop*

  • pete smith

    LIEK AMAGAD U GUZY DIDN’T PAY TO SEE THE ENDING ANIMATION ABOUT DRAGONS AHND SHIT ! EPIX FAIL

  • pete smith

    brutal. Go those movies fucking sucked

  • Lt Hurwitz

    I love ya Jack, I love ya Rich, but you guys only like 2 genres of games between you, that ain’t enough for a videogame show.

  • frankelee

    Speaking of pawns!

  • Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!

  • Proud_Larry

    *Spoilers I suppose.*
    Who chose the Arisen to be the chosen one who is supposed to slay the dragon? The dragon itself. Its job is to pick people who can maybe kill them. Why did it choose you? Because at the start of the game you chose to fight him instead of fleeing, you can, if you like, lose, and that’s it, you can only progress by hitting the dragon, and unlike any others who stayed to fight, you successfully stabbed him even though you had no chance of winning the fight. Three Arisen of your own world have failed to kill that same dragon, and infinite more failed to slay other dragons, so being the Arisen is not a free ticket to dragonslaying destiny. The characters are flat, but at least each and every one has a unique name, appearance, and life if they’re not a bandit met on the wayside, which is more than you can say about many other RPGs. The only real character is, surprise, the dragon. Someone who made it all the way to the end of the Arisen’s quest and failed intentionally out of spite (also the only way you can fail the “final boss” due to the nature of the encounter), becoming the dragon and tasked with the dragon’s self defeating mission as a reward for their competence but a punishment for their rejection of the cycle that they were a part of. If you choose the same fate, you also become the next dragon. I feel like you guys just weren’t invested enough in the game due to going in feeling like you were going to hate it and thus never discovered any of this.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The other way around would be alright with me.

    Best scenario, though, the public suddenly is granted good taste, and both movies bomb. They make like $150.00. Combined.

    #NeverGonnaHappenButICanDream

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Spoiler? I haven’t even cooked her dinner yet.

  • Proud_Larry

    *More Spoilers*

    Pawns are made of a sort of prime-material by… well yes by the powers that be, by a god, who also made the dragon. They made the Pawns to help you fight the dragon, that they made, in order to fight you. Because the entire crappy plot is about maintaining status quo, I’ll definitely give you the plot is horrible, but judging from the video I don’t think you guys actually found much of the plot. There’s a great joke here, about the plot sucking, because it’s very aware that its plot sucks but it tries to make up excuses for it. As part of the main plot the Duke sends you off to fight an evil wizard who has conquest as his goal and the wizard asks you why you even give a damn about him when your job is to go fight the dragon, and lo and behold it turns out that the Duke is intentionally wasting your time because he doesn’t want you to beat the dragon because he was once in your shoes and he chose not to fight the dragon out of cowardice and sacrificed his wife to the dragon as the dragon’s price for leaving. So he does not want you to fight the dragon at all for three reasons: as long as that same dragon holds the Duke’s heart as it does your own the Duke will never age, as long as nobody makes it to the dragon nobody will discover that the Duke made a deal with the dragon out of cowardice, and as long as nobody else makes a deal with the dragon then the Duke will always rule the duchy. The plot doesn’t even really start until you meet the dragon again, but when it does I feel like that last fraction of the pre-epilogue game was fantastic. The dragon’s speeches are very grandiose, as befitting a grigori.
    As for combat, the dagger combo you guys loved so much involves proper timing in order to do the better combo. If you just mash light attack your damage output drops immensely. I guess you wouldn’t notice though if you review a game in such a rush. You may have missed the passive abilities which do things like improve your combos. Or the ability to chain heavy attacks, jumping attacks, and grabs, into light attack combos. There’s also a lot to say about playing a game designed around managing your stamina to use abilities, and instead mashing your light attack as your main attack. Also, I chuckled when you climbed the Cyclopes and decided to stab its neck rather than… the eye. I thought the pawns were programmed to scream at you “THE EYE, ARISEN”, in such situations.

    *End more spoilers*

    Great video, love you guys, hate the new set. Kinda hated the old set though.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Do you know about Paragraphs?
    Just hit enter at the end of a idea.

  • kingrat2314

    I played this game when it first released on consoles. I’m not gonna watch this video, I don’t need you two to tell me how great the game is.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I spent the entire vid watching what was going on in the background.

    Was this a review about Tempest and Asteroids? Cuz I don’t remember the cyclops in Asteroids but I do remember the slaves in Tempest.

  • Neuroticmoose

    “Well, guess I’ll check in on Red Letter Media maybe a new Best of the Worst or Half in the Bag will be up” *sees new episode of pre rec is up, nothing else* “goddammit, fine”

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Mike: I’ve done far worse than abandon Plinkett. I’ve given you Pre-Rec. And I wish to go on giving you Pre-Rec. I shall leave you as you left memes, as you left Space Cop reviews: marooned for all eternity in the comment section of a forgotten website… unread! Unread!

    Me: MMMIIIIKE!!! … MMMIIIIKE!!!

  • Michael Collins

    3:22 before I stopped it, better than it deserved..

    I’m guessing this was made pre the SC release debacle.

  • fred

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gBnmKOixDM
    More like Jason BUTT hehehe

  • Pre-Wreck!?
    “This game isn’t very good. I see myself playing for 60-80 hours tops.”
    Holy shit, these people.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I cling to hope that a Superman/Batman Plinkett tear-down will premier around the time the Bat Man v. Superman cluster of fun debuts.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    He says “Skip Skop”? I thought he was saying “Escape Cop”. That changes everything. Now I need to watch it again.

  • Blair Casey

    The new background is too distracting.

  • Snake Squeezer
  • Thanatos2k

    Jack doesn’t even like dragons. The hell is wrong with him.

  • AGGGH I need HitB or BOTW!!!!!! IT’S MY FREE CONTENT AND I WANT IT NOW!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX0fIi3H-es

  • Snake Squeezer

    This is why the game industry makes more money than the movie and music industry’s combined.

  • How I feel about the new backgrounds…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    ….you want in some way for Gods of Egypt to succeed? It looks like one of the worst movies ever. I’m joking….not

  • Why is there a pixel filter over the Tempest background? Tempest was a vector game. There shouldn’t be pixels.

  • RLMkeepitup

    this is certainly a question for the experts, you’ve come to the right pl.. *crickets*

  • Jerk Gently: The Max Landis Story

  • Snake Squeezer

    Could RLM do a children’s show? Could they pull that off? Could be brilliant.

  • It’s more interesting than the discussion.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Could be law suit material waiting to happen.

  • Snake Squeezer

    With Jack Packard, the safest, least threatening person, of all time around?

  • Joe Syxpac

    I’m pretty sure when Jack isn’t playing video games or doing whatever it is he does for RLM, he’s driving an ice cream truck around without any ice cream.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Plenty of duct tape, though.

  • Snake Squeezer

    They’ve already done 2 kids jokes episodes.

  • Snake Squeezer

    You shut your libelous mouth!

  • Snake Squeezer

    I like your party game. To party more, come to partythefuckup.com, right now!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I dont think you should try ‘pulling off’ children.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    How about “younglings”?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Go nuts. fuck those children of the producer! lazy entitled little pricks… wait dont ‘Fuck’ them, I just meant brutally murder. this is a morally confusing area.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Relax snake. all I was going to say was a stupid bible joke.

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nhz49OjLZK4

    Would those be REACT videos?

  • Because Jack added the filter.

  • To be fair, fighting dragons in this game is kind of lame. You can only hurt them when you hit the heart.

  • Sued for copyright violation! BAMM!

  • tOmy`

    I checked some other reviews for this game and one thing did surprise me:

    No fast travel? Holy smokes, that would get irritating really fast.

  • There is fast travel, you just need to use items to do that.

  • I saw this in recommendations…. my god this genre is so stupid.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uebx_YIwZ_A

  • tOmy`

    That expensive teleporting kinda thingie or something? Dunno man, seems like an unnecessary hassle.

  • tOmy`

    “I guess you wouldn’t notice though if you review a game in such a rush.”

    Jack spent 60+ hours playing the game.

  • Earth

    From what I’ve seen, archaic monsters should avoid computers at all costs.

    http://assets1.ignimgs.com/vid/thumbnails/user/2012/06/26/wrath_1280w.jpg

  • Yeah, it’s strange but even in Skyrim you have to travel to a place on foot (or at least use a cart) first to use fast travel. Anyway, I think they changed it, I have an unlimited use teleport stone and the portcrystals that you need to put on the ground to make your own teleport destinations are found all around the map, especially in places the plot takes you, so it’s not that big of a problem. The overworld is not really that big, I’d say it not even as big as GTAIII’s Liberty City. Plus, there’s a huge shortcut from one part of the map to another.

  • Earth

    Gods of Egypt was gonna bomb regardless.

    Now if Gods of Egypt made Deadpool bomb…

  • tOmy`

    I DEMAND TOWN PORTALS!

  • Moke

    many people talking about the game seem too see this as a “flaw”. But at night armies (!) of monsters will attack you. Not beeing able to just “beam” away, facing them and eventually die, or hide in a church or cave and wait until dawn was what I actually liked. You have to plan your journeys and what you will explore today. Or you will end up in big trouble.

  • Earth

    No fast travel is fine as long as there are lots of ways of teleporting around quickly.

    HI YO SILVER AWAY!!

    http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/elderscrolls/images/2/23/Silt_Strider_by_mage_116.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20141211235520

  • tOmy`

    Bugbus is for basic bitches, real adventurers abuse the living shit out of MG teleportation!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Go back to Call of Elder Scrolls:Modern Skyrim Warfare ya bitch!

  • Earth
  • tOmy`

    *puts on nerd glasses*

    Town portal is actually from Diablo series. Morrowind has no default way to teleport from wilderness to nearest city – the closest you can get to it are two scrolls allowing for teleportation to the nearest temple and to the nearest imperial shrine.

    Dick.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • tOmy`

    That game is so flawlessly broken…

    But hey, all you need to do anyway is just stock up on these puppies: http://en.uesp.net/wiki/Morrowind:Scroll_of_Windwalker#Scroll_of_Windwalker

    Bethesda doesn’t overthink stuff.

  • Like Icare

    Hell no!

    Those dicks wanted the ability to take down people’s videos on account of TRADEMARK violations.
    Copyright eventually runs out. Trademarks are forever.

  • Like Icare

    Morally confusing indeed.
    How do you even curse and swear out someone without mentioning words like fucking and members of immediate family?
    I find that this political correctness infringes on my cultural heritage.

  • Like Icare

    In the words of Kevin Smith – In Hollywood, you fail upwards.

  • tOmy`

    Google keyboard.

  • tOmy`

    “Deadpool is a normal comic-book origin story in irreverent drag”
    – AV Club, B-

    The users vote either give it A or F.

    Bulletproof concept.

  • Like Icare

    Soo… it’s OK?

  • You just have to be careful when you fall. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnFUqAjp-pE

  • Like Icare

    So… in desperation for new content I click on that old review of Paul and RLM’s visit to Canadia.

    And in that first shot of Mike talking into a mike (GET IT!) in front of their con booth… there’s Jessi on the left and on the right… there’s someone dressed as Na’vi.
    In a wheelchair.

    Then it clicks for me just how arrogant it must feel for paraplegics when someone calls that movie Dances With Smurfs or whatever.
    And how different that movie must be to so many people.
    I mean… to my normie eyes Jake Sully returns to “normal” when he wakes up outside his Na’vi body.
    Something tells me that paraplegics MAY not see it that way.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yeah, sure it does look like one of the worst movies ever. It looks worse than, oh, I dunno, Boyhood. Worse than Space Cop. I’m hyperbol-ing. But, honestly, what does it fyucking matter which one of those pieces of celluloid sh!t “succeeds”?

    Donald Trump just called Ted Cruz a pussy, and Lady GaGa nailed the U.S. national anthem like a gob of raw meat to her dress. Focus on the real important things. We live in La-La times.

  • That puts an interesting perspective on things…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Well according to mouth breathers on IMDB it’s better then Citizen Kane:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1431045/

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Peoplettes.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Ironically enough they mocked Avatar cosplayers on last PreRec stream.

    #microagression

    #cosplay is shameful though

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    According to an University of Mass-Amherst economics professor, the U.S. economy would be fixed by a Bernie Sanders presidency. Median income would soar by $22,000. 26 million jobs would be created, reducing unemployment to 3.8%, etc.
    Annual growth would be 5.1%, and the deficit would be replaced by a surplus before the end of his term.

    This data is probably accurate to a degree of + or – one [1] Establishment-led Congress, factoring in the flight ascendancy rate of pigs.

  • Holy shit… 9.0 as opposed to 8.4.

  • I thought Pre-Rec gives you cancer?

    And yes, cosplay is shameful. Unless it’s sexy cosplay. Like a busty Final Fantasy Tifa cosplay. http://comicbastards.com/wp-content/uploads/Katyuska-MoonFox-as-Tifa-Lockheart-1-tn.jpg

  • tOmy`

    “And even if you’re not a fan of the comic, this is an entertaining addition to the superhero film genre.”

    So basically lukewarm 6 – 7 / 10, if you ain’t a fanboy.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Just before going to bed I accidentally managed to catch their Xcom2 stream. It was the first one I watched in months and it served as a nice lullaby. So now I’ll be using that stream as my point of reference for a loooong timeee to coomee bby!

  • Paulus Nuns

    Nice. Now, if Sanders wins…what do you think will happen with foreign intervention/middle east etc?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The AV Club loves the latest X-MEN trailer. So, here it is for your reconsideration…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4qgAaxB_pc&feature=player_embedded

  • lolfuckmycock gives me cancer, too.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Isolationist, baby! You brown people fix your own damn problems! We’ve done our jahb!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yeesh.

  • Paulus Nuns

    You damn Jacksonians!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Cosplay is only shameful if spandex and chubbiness, combined, are involved.

    Otherwise, pursue your happiness you weirdos.

    I’ll allow it.

  • Hey, they referenced Baloo’s song. That’s a nice touch. Other than that this looks terrible.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    That quote supposed to be complimentary?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Right? Nighcrawler is all furry.

  • The movie is still meh, though.

  • It’s still better than I expected. Usually, whatever Ryan Reynolds touches turns into liquid faeces.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Really? You didn’t expect the first, fan-boy-driven, internet reviews of a Marvel-based superhero movie to be giddy?

    Now, I’ll be gobsmacked if BvS starts off with a better than 60% score on Rotten Tomatoes, but for Deadpool, I’mma just gonna wait until the non-shilling grown-ups start to tear into it.

    I watched the “consensus” drop by over ten percent yesterday.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Could end up with them in jail, though.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    #equality

  • tOmy`

    So, since the burning threat of new Coldplay album has been extinguished forever, 2016 promises to be fucking huge in music; we are 2 days away from new Kanye’s album, Amanda Palmer released Bowie tribute album and Flying Lotus just joined the latest fold of promised upcoming releases. So here is a little round up of shit you might have missed that will transform you into a pop-culture snob in a pub:

    Nevermen – Nevermen: Genre-hopping experiment by Mike Patton, TV On The Radio’s Adebimpe and Doseone is fucking awesome and fucking awesome. Surprisingly easy listen for such insanity, with Blackstar definitely one of the Top 2016. 10/10
    Massive Attack – Ritual Spirit EP: Not liking one song out of four makes the rating of the trip-hop demigods’ comeback self-explanatory. 7.5/10
    Sia – This Is Acting: The redeeming quality here being the booming beats and the fact that Sia is one of the few actually creative pop divas. Still wish she would return to her roots’ schtick, but hey, she has bills to pay. 6/10
    Rihanna – ANTI: An experimental album conspicuously lacking in the “experimental department” is the first RiRi’s album that wasn’t a fucking chore to sit through. Miley did this better. 5/10
    Panic! At The Disco – Death of the Bachelor: The idea of doing Frank Sinatra shtick was great, the execution not so much. The power-pop / Timbaland production fixation horrifically kills more than half of the songs. 4.5/10

  • Since you asked I had to double check but yes, there are.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    It’s the heart that matters mostest.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m gonna go ahead and guess that it was Voodoo In My Blood that was the rotten part of Ritual Spirit Ep for you.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Oh! Sick burn!

  • tOmy`

    Ha, actually Dead Editors.

  • Like Icare

    Well, to be fair… Kane really lacks in the action department.
    Though he does fuck that room up like a champ.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAd87ZmZfsE&feature=player_detailpage#t=100

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I thought it was fine. Ah well. Apparently one more EP and a LP is coming later this year. This was good for it was-an appetizer.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Noted. Now let’s measure the size of those elephant ears again, shall we?

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely agree.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I’m thinking “fucking huge” doesn’t quite mean what you think it means. Wake me up when I listen to any of that crap. (Possible exception: Nevermen. I like all those guys.)

    *smiles and winks*

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Massive Attack plays real instruments yo.

    #get off MY lawn!

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    #CosplayShamin.

  • tOmy`

    Well, when you refuse to listen or pay attention to 99% of anything new and “big”, then…

    It doesn’t work like that.

  • Like Icare

    Blob is very realistic there.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I don’t refuse to listen or pay attention to 99% of anything “new” or “big”, and you kinda know it.

  • Like Icare

    I don’t think the either Matt Damon beating up people or people commenting on Matt Damon beating up people are exactly a genre.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    is that taken from some home-video amateur gay porno?

  • Are you saying they CG’d African elephants? Because that would be hilarious.

  • I don’t know if I want to know.

  • tOmy`

    Then, I assume, you are facing one possible problem: Most of the “huge” releases this year will come from experimental-rock, experimental-electro and experimental-hiphop fields. Hence my hype for some creative stuff.

    You can always try to give some of it a go, or wait for the classic releases, but I think this year could be potentially worth celebration due to all the collabs, bizarre ideas and the underground kings releasing stuff.

    And new Elton John album.

  • Bubs

    “People could probably make money this way by re-releasing an older game that had extremely good gameplay…” – Rich “Oblivious to the Games Industry” Evans

    What a novel idea!

  • Like Icare

    Speaking of porn and cosplay… April O’Neil does cosplay.
    As April O’Neil.
    http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbyda2An111rtokt7o1_1280.jpg

  • Palpatine

    Rihanna’s album only gets a 5/10? Wow, and here I thought Chris Brown was the only one mean to her.

    Are these jokes getting old yet?

  • I give this joke a 5/10. The first one was so wrong that it was so good.

  • Pre-Rec – guys who don’t know shit about video game talking about video games.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Never!
    A Rihanna joke a day keeps my blues away!

  • Suddenly my pants got as tight as her shirt…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    He’s still mixing it up, though. Working the material like a pro. He hasn’t reduced the concept to a knee-jerker easy-applause catch-phrase.

    Granted, I’m hoping for him to mix ina couple of Hillary stabs or go blue once in awhile, but, you know, Palpy’s gotta stay true to himself.

    Comedy is hard.

    #SitDownHeckler,IDidn’tPayToSeeYou

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    New Elton John album? Come on! If that was a dig, it wasn’t up to the standards I’ve come to expect.

    Nothing “huge” comes from the experimental, until the “experimental” becomes mainstream.

    The “huge” releases are Kanye West and Bouncý. And probably whatever pop / bro-country crap gets put out. If you think that’s going to make 2016 special in music, well, OK, points to you for your enthusiasm.

    I get that your ears are very niche-directed, and you’re looking forward to a lot of club-based releases, and, believe me, I’m not the asshole putting you down for that.

    I’m just quibbling over the definition of the word “huge.”

  • tOmy`

    Was more of a dig at how by the numbers it is. Not a bad album, if you like Elton’s piano.

    And now, huge because of (just from top of my head): Radiohead, PJ Harvey, Nevermen, Iggy Pop, Massive Attack, Gorillaz, Flying Lotus, Andrew Bird, BECK, Nine Inch Nails, Strokes, Deftones, Santigold… and god knows how many interesting artists out there.

    Even fucking RHCP and Metallica are scheduled.

    And even the stuff you hate is more than often on the creative / experimental side. When even RiRi (the most conservative from them all) goes experimental, excuse me for having high hopes for this year not flopping like the previous one.

    Sure, it is easy to hate all of them, because then you really don’t have to do anything which is easy and comfy, but for a music-lovin cheerleader like me, this is A LOT of stuff to look forward for massive number of reasons.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I don’t know. I can’t really tell. But those ears do look a little wide to me, at first glance. The antelopes and gibbons made me iffy-feeling, too. I guess I gotta get my African v. Indian sub-species (circa Colonial times) in order, before playing “Gotcha.”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Now there you go, sport. I should’ve trusted you, I know, but that list you just listed does strike me as huge-y.

    The Elton John album is a bore and a real disappointment since it’s another one produced by T-Bone Burnett and recorded with a life (sounding dead) band.

    Ah, delayed circle-jerk satisfaction!

    (Points subtracted just in case RHCP stands for the fyucking gawd-awful Chili Peppers and not some new psychedelic-funk-acid-jazz-blues supergroup.)

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I know this is old news, but I never got the chance to ask what you thought of Radiohead’s version of the Spectre theme song versus the pop, radio-friendly version that they went with?

  • tOmy`

    For me, “huge” really means: A lot of stuff that I hope is gonna be great and at the same time a lot of stuff that will most likely fail and will be joyful to make fun of.

    Like RHCP / Metallica trying to persuade us that they still should be relevant.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    If they got together and did a concept album based on the true-world rock career of Styx, with cameos from Dave Grohl, Stevie Nicks, and Roger Waters, well…

    We could make a ton of fun of that.

    As long as I didn’t have to listen to it.

  • tOmy`

    “Great Radiohead song, awful idea for Bond theme” was my comment, I believe.

    Smith’s theme was terrible, tho, so they might as well went with Radiohead’s version. The guy said something like “I wanted to write more personal song than a Bond theme” which sounds like the exact opposite of the task at hand.

  • NicCagesHair

    Morrowind also had Mark and Recall which allowed you to teleport to one set location. Other than that it was all about Silt Stridering around like a boss.

    “Why walk when you can ride?”

    Also you can abuse the shit out of the system and set your speed to 1000 like I am doing as I am playing it again.

  • tOmy`

    I personally cannot wait for the new album-worth of reasons why Peppers both love and hate L.A.

    They are beating this dead horse for so long it sounds like they reached the bone marrow.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Well, that’s what kept Hugh Glass alive.

    Did Brian Eno turn down producing this one too? Wait. Before you check that out, I don’t really care. I’ve hated the Chili Peppers since their second record. They’re ‘Merica’s Coldplay.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    That franchise is having an identity crisis. No one really knows who or what James Bond should be anymore.

  • Jason Bourne, apparently. Spectre was considered a failure, wasn’t it?

  • Like Icare

    I thought so too, back from the first trailer.

    Then, I saw that same trailer in the theater.
    And damn, but that really looked good on that much bigger screen.
    Also… there’s something to that latest trailer’s editing that fucks up ScarJo’s delivery as Kaa.

    On a side note… I find Jungle Book in general to be rather boring.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Jungle Book was the first Disney movie I remember seeing as a kid. Loved it a lot, but I was a kid (like, seven or something) and a generally stupid kid, at that.. As I grew up, I preferred the Kipling, and I’m more looking forward to Andy Serkis’ version, but this is still kind of a “gonna see it anyway” thing for me, the same way superhero movies are for other people.

  • Like Icare

    He was good in Voices.
    And everyone apparently loves the idea of him buried in a box.
    I also heard good things about Nines.

  • Oh yeah, I remember that movie. Yeah. That idea is neat.

  • We’re talking about domestic violence under the umbrela-ela-ela of humour. I’m not sure that’s right.

  • Like Icare

    I actually have no recollection of the first Disney movie I saw.
    Probably cause I most likely got the first doses through The Mouse Factory clips.

  • TheManHole

    So getting back on topic. I came into to work today and just for a bit of back story I ride my bike into work and it’s winter here in Canada. So since it’s freezing outside I wear a hat to work to stop my ears from falling off and this hat mixed with the fact that I sweat due to the bike ride screws up my hair in the morning. So I come into the quite office I start an hour after everyone has already settled in and one of my co-workers looks at the mess that is my hair and asks “What’s wrong with your hair”. Now instantly without even thinking I just look at her and pretty much yell “What’s wrong with your face”. The whole office seems offended except the person I just yelled at who can’t stop giggling to themselves as everyone gets offended for her.

    TLDR: People are offended way too easy.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    SJW alert. SJW alert.

    RiRi herself said it was about passion, not abuse, but you’re probably right. Then again, let’s be wrong.

  • Now I Get It

    #blacklivesareinterchangeable

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Offices, man.

    I don’t know about Canada, but I’m assuming offices are the same everywhere. In ‘Merica, they’re like kindergarten classrooms.

  • TheManHole

    I mean when everyone was being all offended I did profusely say she started it.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I don’t know how one even rates those things any more. It was a failure, because they thought the one before it was exceptional? I’m not really a Bond person, so I’m no authority, but it wasn’t a failure compared to, say, any Roger Moore Bond movie, was it?

    Bond is probably just past-due it’s suggested reboot date.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Na-na-na, infinity, b!tches.

  • Oh, I’m sorry, I got ahead of myself. I mean, serves her right!
    You can’t rape a prostitute!
    All Mexicans are rapists!
    CLOSE THE BORDERS.

    [Sponsored by Donald Trump]

  • TheManHole

    Yeah so Kindergarten might be a compliment, it’s a damn preschool up in this bitch!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Somebody gotta be doin’ all the raping. Gotta be.

    Wait. What? Why am I saying your lines? Well, fair’s fair, considering you stole my whole “Morning in Merica” thing.

    Cant’ we both just agree, though? Ted Cruz’s a pussy!

    If she didn’t want get smacked in the face, she shouldn’t have made herself up so pretty.

    (There’s a special place in Hell reserved for me, I know. Right next to all the women who didn’t vote for Hillary.)

  • TheManHole

    Canada is already trying to build a wall to keep our gun loving neighbors to the south at bay.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    That’s not your wall, fwend.

  • The thing I liked about old Bond movies, especially the classic Connery/Moore era was that nobody called them reboots, it was just Bond. Everyone rolled with it and it was fine. Sure, Bond eventually wrote itself into self-parody status with Moonraker – basically an Austin Powers movie before Austin Powers but I liked it. Then it all went downhill for me.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    We’ll argue about whose gossipy secretary can beat up whose trouble-making intern at recess.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I wonder if we could actually research and find the moment in time that “reboot” took hold of the pop culture consciousness.
    Then go back in time and kill Hitler-Baby.

  • tOmy`

    Two episodes in row I was watching The X-Files, thinking to myself: “I can’t get the image of Hank from Californication out of my mind.” But now, in episode 3, it’s great to see a mixture of these two shows. Hah.

    What a glorious episode.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yes!
    #4’s kind of a weird let-down, though. Hope they stick the landing.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    There’s no limits here boi.

    “You can’t fuck them if they’re dead”- Rich “Role Model” Evans

  • RLMkeepitup

    she sounds like a keeper

  • Tapeworm

    Sorry, I farted, it must’ve set it off.

  • NicCagesHair

    The thing that offends me the most is what you people do to french fries. Gravy and cheese curds!? Despicable, absolutely despicable.

  • Eric

    Wait, these idiots have only played for 4 hours? Are you shitting me? You can’t dump all over the fucking combat until you get through Bitterblack Isles goddammit.

  • MonkeyKing1969

    I love DD. The story is crazy in a Japaese way, but the beginning and end are decent for a story. The lack of fast travel makes you walk around a lot more meaning you SEE the terrain and understand ist a lot better than most games.

    Most of the architectures is truly huge. The Castle (Duke’s Demesne), Bluemoon Tower, Soulflayer Canyon, the Catacombs, and some other areas are vast with tons of secret caves. I woudl say 95% of players don’t even realize how much of the Bluemoon tower you can get at by making a few jumps. There are some kick ass treasures if you poke around Bluemoon Tower, and some raw ingredients that are there are useful for making better armor and weapons. By the mid-game you7 cna buy an second port crystal, and new game plus allows you to buy as many as you cna afford….meaning you can set up seven or eight easily enough.

    Really, of oif the best thing about the game – that they didn’t mention- was character creation. I have not seen a better character creation system in any RPG, except maybe some Japanese MMOs. Moreover, that character creation for your pawn is just as robust, and your pawn will be used if you make one that is set up correctly and looks cool.

  • tOmy`

    Also, an expect they didn’t cover, is that you can somehow trade the pawns / borrow them with your multiplayer friends, right?

    That sounds kinda interesting.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Off topic, entirely. But my favorite Superbowl commercial was that glorious Anheuser-Busch InBev ad, in which it shamelessly attempted to hustle America into thinking it’s a scrappy underdog.

  • TheManHole

    Hey now you leave our putien out of this! That stuff is the nectar of the gawds.

  • GriefClownVenom

    I too am pretending to have missed the giant “Vanquish” box they shoved in our face and purposefully am misinterpreting the point of Rich’s statement.

    Thanks for perfectly demonstrating obliviousness.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    It’s delicious stuff. It just needs bacon, and it’s perfect.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    No one has yet explained to me what a puppy-monkey-baby is supposed to represent.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Speaking of Super Bowl hyperbole…Did anybody else find the whole “Super Bowl Babies” thing to be really icky and slightly insulting?

    #SuperBowlIsFamily,MyAss

  • tOmy`

    I personally loved that ad for North Korea where North Korea declared themselves the World Champi-

    Wait, what? Really?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Speaking of novel ideas…I’m reading Stewart O’Nan’s new book West of Sunset which turns F. Scott Fitzgerald into a kind of real-world Hollywood Jay Gatsby, with lots of old movie references. I just started it, so it’s not a recommendation or anything. I just wanted you people to know I can read books without pictures. No need to make a big thing about it.

  • Like Icare

    As the kids say today… Pics or it didn’t happen.

  • What is this ‘novel’ you speak of?

  • Super Bowel Babies? Like really big dumps after a dinner at Chipotle?

  • Like Icare

    Does that mean something like rugby-ball players kicking babies across the field?
    If so – I approve. Everyone needs to do their part in fighting climate change.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s a fancy bird cage lining.

  • Like Icare

    Isn’t that the plot of every sports movie where ‘muricans face-off a much stronger opponent and then end up world champions because eagles and coca cola and pie fucking?

  • Ca-Caw, motherfucker.

    [I stole this]

  • Like Icare

    I just can’t help thinking how dirty that sounds.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSeaDQ6sPs0

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    No. It was a big pre-filmed production number with the singer Seal, where they gathered all these people of various ages that had been born nine months after a Super Bowl who sang about Mommy and Daddy having sexing it up because of all the NFL excitement.

    You know, counter-mythologizing since the Super Bowl is the biggest day every single year for domestic violence reports in the U.S.

  • Tapeworm

    I’m about quarter into Sidney Lumet’s Making Movies. Rarely do I find a book I want to read slowly to have a piece of it for the next day as well.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I had Chippolee’s on Sunday. And I’m still sitting on it.
    (Not really.)

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Nice. Instead of a “page turner,” it’s a “page linger-er.”

  • Kaeyne

    Rich hasn’t heard of Dragon’s Dogma before? I guess he doesn’t follow Zero Punctuation then…

  • Earth

    So… she’s knows of the Plinkett?

  • Tapeworm

    Did that really deserve the … ? Because he probably doesn’t.

  • Like Icare

    Actually… It’s any given Sunday. Or any other “everyone at home day” like Christmas and such.
    https://newrepublic.com/article/120917/super-bowl-sunday-domestic-violence

    As for sports excitement producing babies…

    Does that mean that moms ovulate faster when watching sweaty men or is it dads who get excited by watching men handling the balls?

  • TheManHole

    He was using the ellipsis to sound smart duh!

  • Tapeworm

    Was he though….

  • TheManHole

    She may, I’m not sure I think she was giggling more about the fact that I was getting in shit from everyone around us because they took so much offense to my comment.

  • tOmy`

    I lined my hamster cage with pages from Harry Potter.

    Relax, they were already full of shit anyway.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    It’s probably one thing for NBA Babies; the other thing for Super Bowl babies.

    And, something entirely else for NASCAR Babies.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Rich does follow Zero Punctuation. I just don’t think he has all of his reviews catalogued so that he can refer to them whenever a game comes out to see if Yahtzee talked about it first.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Oh! Sick burn!

  • TheManHole

    Gawd that is still sadly the last book series I have read.

  • Like Icare

    Depends who you ask.

    It made almost $900 million worldwide, but failed to even cover its $245 million budget in the States.

  • TheManHole

    Also you screwed up your ellipsis it’s only meant to be 3 dots!

    #PunctuationShaming

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    [Never admit it. After all, George Lucas “created” Star Wars.]

  • Tapeworm

    I’m a grammar hipster. I even keep a pet Alot.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “As they expected, rates of domestic violence reach annual highs on New Year’s Day and the Fourth of July. But they also rise on New Year’s Eve, Memorial Day and, yes, Super Bowl Sunday.”

    Still, which one of these things is not the same as the other things? Unless, of course, the Oligarchy decides to give me the Monday after S.B. off, you know, for the holiday. Then, well, I’ll settle for all the punching, as just one of those Woman!-Get-me-my-too-much-beer things.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I missed this completely and just watched it. It looks very dated. Like something that would’ve been tried in 1995.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    He can’t even spell “Kanye.”

    Hey! Newbie-shaming is bullying, and we should stop it!

    #AllApologies
    #JustYanking
    #WhatWeDo

  • Tapeworm

    I’m not doing that. Plus I am a newbie. For like the third time now.

  • TheManHole

    Does that count shamming all the Star wars fanboys/fangirls who only ever posted on the farce awakens review. To never to be seen again because fuck these hacks and their free content, that isn’t Plinket reviews?

    #WhenIsTheNextPlinektReivew
    #FuckPreRecoreded
    #WhereAreMyPants

  • Should Star Wars: The Force Awakens have ended like this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbpgM-JTang

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    It should have ended before 10:00 PM Central Time, so Mike and Jay could’ve been half awake for their review.

    AY-OHHHHHHHHH.

  • I still have Far Cry 3 and Far Cry: Blood Dragon Uplay keys. Anybody interested?

  • I honestly don’t know, because I didn’t even care to watch it.

  • TheManHole

    The movie or the review?

  • The movie.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    It’s actually quite funny. Well, “quite” being relative and my being willing to laugh at anything that knocks Star Wars about a bit.

    EDIT: And “it” being this cartoon.

  • TheManHole

    I saw it twice in theaters but the second time I slept through most of the movie.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Hero!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Everyone was just waiting for Half in the Bag to shit on the Force Awakens.

    And then when it happens you.. ruin it.

    Now what do I have to wait for.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’s the spirit!

    #apathy FTW

  • tOmy`

    I laughed at the “shield penetration” gag, because I forgot that actually happened in the movie.

  • TheManHole

    I still have a list of unplayed games on steam to neglect.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Mine was the three Death Stars in the shape of the Mouse logo. Meta!

    I mean, the cartoon wasn’t anywhere near as funny as a classic Palpy Rihanna joke. But, what could be?

  • TheManHole

    The only winning play is to not play at all.

  • Like Icare

    Nah… that’d be cherry picking. Just like blaming fireworks or US flags for the upticks in domestic violence on 4th of July would be.
    Particularly considering that further down they state that it’s Sundays in general that have the uptick of domestic violence.
    And Saturdays and Sundays just a sentence before the “As they expected…”.

    Though… considering it’s psychologists doing the studies… even that is questionable. They are VERY prone to confirmation bias.

    After all… It’s not like one HAS to wait for the weekend to beat up or otherwise mistreat their spouse. Or to quote the article – it occurs every day.

  • Like Icare

    I almost fell asleep the first (and only) time I saw it.

    I WAS sleep deprived… but also kinda bored.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I did because its funny. but even in hyperspace objects are only moving at relativistic speeds in relation to the observer, within their own inertial frame of reference they are just going really fast. not Lightspeed.

  • TheManHole

    The first time I saw it I was pretty excited just to see space ships go zoom and light sabers but the second time I found it very boring. It didn’t help that I was up late the night before and downed two pints of beer just before the show.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I find the idea of 100,000’s drunk sweaty NFL fans drunkenly humping their bored wives after the big game disturbing. these people should not breed.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I put fried eggs on my chips.

  • Like Icare

    Well… If the shield extended to about to where the Moon is in relation to Earth, they’d have about a second to flip the switch.
    If a computer does it… that would allow for a 1 gigahertz computer to flip a switch a thousand times (or a thousand switches once, in sequence) if the shield extends a kilometer off the surface.
    Even a shield extending mere meters off the surface leaves plenty of time for a 1990s computer to do the task.

    ON THE OTHER HAND…
    Hyperjumping is NOT flying at the speed of light.
    It’s basically opening a wormhole to outside of the universe, then opening another one at the time-space coordinates where you wanted to go – and jumping back in.

    In other words… Jar Jar doesn’t understand the basics of the shit he wrote.

    See kids? You too can be a hack writer/director and make millions! All you have to do is want it hard enough.
    And I do mean HARD enough…

  • Like Icare

    I had Chinese food prior to it and some cider during the movie.
    It did not improve the quality of the film.

  • Like Icare

    This will cause headaches…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv33e0TyL6M

  • fred
  • TheManHole

    That honestly sounds amazing!

  • tOmy`

    Another dangerous super-villain in a form of an easily destroy-able, maim-able and tamable object. Gotta love these.

    But what I love even more is the slight alteration of Sicario trailer soundtrack. That must have took like 15 minutes in an FL studio. Put me on the payroll, coach, I am ready!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I wonder how many talentless hacks will now have a career thanks to The Walking Dead?

  • Bryan Fuller, writer of both DS9 and Voyager episodes, will be the showrunner for the new Star Trek TV series coming out in 2017. Alex Kurtzman is still executive producer.
    http://laist.com/2016/02/09/hannibal_pushing_daisies_creator_to.php

    Bryan Fuller IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0298188/

  • tOmy`

    A herd, Coral. A herd!

  • tOmy`

    *Hannibal

    90s kids barely remember Star Trek.

  • Star Trak. Is it anything like Star Wars? Because I like Star Wars. Does it have thwords?

  • tOmy`
  • The only Good news from this Pre-Rec and Pre-Rec Live is that they’ve recorded a new BOTW. I can’t wait – this drought is killing me.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    it is.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Not when they make over $1,000Spacebucks on their streams.

  • TheManHole

    In hack frauds we trust.

  • Palpatine

    It has me!!!

  • Rich looks good; I think he might be losing weight. Half in the Bag’s MAJOR SLOWDOWN in production (see: ‘callous frauds’) doesn’t require him to bulk up for the Plinkett role as often.

  • Palpatine

    I think he put on weight for Space Cop. Some men will suffer for their art.

  • Or maybe some scenes of Space Cop starred Rich Evans as he was TWELVE YEARS AGO because the film took TWELVE YEA-… well, you see where I’m going with this.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’d accept a slimmer Plinkett for more Plinkett.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Fun fact: some of those hot dogs were 12 years old as well.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Science the sh!t out of that comment!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Science the sh!t out of that comment, too!

  • tOmy`

    It’s funny to see the comment, that was referencing the small number of comments, getting deleted.

    That’s kinda counterproductive…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Well, considering also that they maybe had to include all instances of familial abuse to get a large enough number to beat the Super Bowl statistic specifically for wife beating…oh, fyuck it. Statistics! Analysis! Bias! We’re just spit-balling here! Just trying to give the NFL’s rep a bit of a tongue bath!

    “Gramps, if you don’t applaud the fireworks this 4th, it’s back to all the bedsores for you, old man!”, says Johnny Manziel.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Horse penis-Chinese people mush never really spoils.

  • Like Icare

    “- Ideas can be powerful.
    – Not as powerful as a whaling ship.”

    Oh… Why oh why haven’t these hackfrauds reviewed that pointless Point Break remake?
    That shit up there is an actual quote from the movie.
    I didn’t believe it, so I had to download a horrid cam to check for myself.

    Yup… It’s there. It’s supposed to be like… deep and shit.
    It’s what Samsara (yup… they went THERE) tells Utah about SPOILERS how Bodhi’s (as in Bodhisattva) spiritual mentor died – as he was taking a break from reaching nirvana (yes… there they went) – in order to save some whales.
    Oh and… you reach nirvana by by accomplishing 8 EXRREEEEEEME tasks (jumping out of planes and shit) he pulled out of his ass – while making a perfect line.

    It’s not just about running around robbing banks all whacked off of Scooby snacks anymore… It’s about reaching motherfucking NIRVANA.

    Oh… and movie thinks that it is smart. No, really… it does.
    It thinks that all that pseudointellectual nonsense is REEL DEEP.

    In the finale, Utah lands on Bodhi’s boat in the middle of a storm by being lowered from a helicopter, they exchange some really meaningless lines, shake hands, and Utah lets him go “to follow his path”…
    And then Utah is pulled up to the helicopter (into the sky), making a perfect line with his rope AND completing the “Act of Ultimate Trust”.
    Cybmalizm bro! It’s like… deep… and shit.

  • Like Icare

    Star Trek is from Mars (Utopia Planitia) – Star Wars is from a galaxy far, far away.

  • tOmy`

    Cartel Land (Matthew Heineman, 2015)

    “Mexican drug cartel lord has a $100 million bounty on Donald Trump.”
    – International Business Times
    “And some of them, I assume, are good people.”
    – Donald Trump

    Cartel Land is a documentary feature film looking into an established theme park on the US / Mexican border. Unlike Disney Land and LEGO Land, Cartel Land has almost no entry fee, but you do have to bring your own gun and possibly pay the ultimate price down the queue. While the other parks have certain age limit for their rides, in Cartel Land, you just have to be this strong to carry a deadly weapon and joyfully play on rides such as Slide-Into-A-Well or everyone’s favorite Haunted Meth Lab that has its own mass grave. For slightly older guest, there is always Militia Convoy theme ride and an observation tower, so you can see this massive clusterfuck from a proper perspective.

    Ultimately, Cartel Land is built by people, for people and against people. Boldly venture to where no Sicario ventured before and try to make some sense of this mess, before somebody shuts it down and builds a wall on its place. 7/10

  • Like Icare

    You know… there actually is an “Illegal border crossing theme ride/walk”.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/09/caminata-illegal-border-crossing_n_1866023.html

  • Bodhi and Johnny Utah end up “completing the “Act of Ultimate Trust””
    Is that – what is that? Is that… I mean…do you mean barebacking?

  • Like Icare

    It’s the 8th task on the list that Japanese guy who died in a really retarded way pulled out of his ass.

    According to Wikipeda “The Osaki 8” include:

    Emerging Force
    Birth of Sky
    Awakening Earth
    Life of Water
    Life of Wind
    Life of Ice
    Master of Six Lives
    Act of Ultimate Trust

    It’s really retarded pseudointellectual writing.

  • Reading that: 1. earth, 2. water, 3.wind – makes you think the next one will be Fire. But that’s not an extreme sport! So the next one is ‘Life of Ice’. Wow. Laaaaazzzzzzyyyyy.

  • Like Icare

    How can we make this movie relevant?

    I KNOW!

    Let’s make them eco-warrior Robin Hoods looking for “enlightenment”. Chicks dig guys who are all like extreeme and all about enlightenment and beards.

  • Palpatine

    Fuck going back to Universal Orlando, I’m going there my after first semester of college is done!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Snake Squeezer

    Where’s the new season of Check it Out, with Dr. Steve Bruhl? Come on already, Adult Swim!

  • tOmy`

    All joking aside, two things I think kinda broke the experience:

    1) The vague cartel connection between US side – a group that is fighting, to some extent, a by product of the cartel activity – and the Mexico side – in a flat out war with cartels – is vague at best. I am talking only about the connection in this documentary, mind you, as we follow US militia patrolling US border and events that take place in Michoacán, that is closer to Guatemala than it is to USA.

    2) All up for explaining the story and perspective of someone who looks like a rightwing nutjob, but he did kinda come out of this documentary as a nutjob running a small group of semi-competent, overly-militarized boy scouts. I was like: “Sure, I am gonna give this guy a fair shot”, but towards the end I felt like the dude had some issues – especially since he was explicitly talking about them. There were more moments like this and I while I would appreciate every funny stab at people like him, in a documentary that tries to be “above it all” it was kinda… unnecessary.

  • NicCagesHair

    I think it’s a trust fall? Then maybe some barebacking.

  • NicCagesHair

    Any message from the league always seem out of touch or way off base. They are too busy trying to “protect the shield”(A real thing to the league office) to double check their ads are saying a bunch of people fucked because of a game, so that must make them family.

  • NicCagesHair

    You-“Super Bowl is the biggest day every single year for domestic violence reports in the U.S., reportedly.”

    NFL-“Hey now we ran one ad against domestic violence in the last TWO super bowls***”

    Small print at the bottom-*(Ad only run because of Ray Rice,Adrian Peterson, and Greg Hardy scandals. It’s a shame those boys got caught. Please buy our female oriented sportswear!!!!!)

  • NicCagesHair

    I thought it was a perfect representation of Mountain Dew

  • NicCagesHair

    Heresy!!!! Ketchup, salt and maybe vinegar only!!!! (I actually agree that does sound good but I’m sticking to my premise)

  • Dragon’s Dogma has an interesting opening and a fascinating, FASCINATING endgame. Unfortunately, the majority of the main story reflects the environment; a vast wasteland that desperately needs more character and personality.

    It’s so irritating, because everything involving the Dragon itself is great, but so much of the story is dedicated to that stupid, generic cult that doesn’t even amount to anything. And then you have a landscape that looks and feels amazing, but the sheer lack of any other towns and cities, aside from Gransys and the fishing village, makes it feel really empty.

    But you’re right on the money about it being more than the sum of it’s parts. I’ve owned it for years, and still return every so often just because of how fun it is. It’s a beautiful game, warts and all. Even the very stock fantasy settings, monsters, and elements feel weirdly refreshing at times. Sometimes you just need those basic tropes to mix things up.

    It’s kinda like how, as much as I love the more alien and inventive world of Morrowind, I like to revisit Oblivion and Skyrim just because it feels like a blank canvas that I can tweak to my tastes. Sometimes, you just wanna roll as a classic knight or wizard, fighting goblins and trolls to save a princess. And other times, you want to play as a levitating juggernaut in specially modified armor, involved in a complex prophecy while managing the vicious and intricate politics of an entire region. As long as they’re executed well, I’m game for either of them when the mood strikes me.

  • tOmy`

    There is one redeeming quality of Pre-Rec videos. Under each one of them, at least one of us says “Morrowind”.

  • The ending of the videos is ALMSIVI.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Penis in spandex.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    HA! We’re so edgy, bro! We’re Deadpool fans, and we’re satirizing dying children! High-five me! Ye-ahhh!

    Even if this is satirizing Deadpool fans, it isn’t the opposite of stupid and twat-ish.

    (Honestly, I dunno. I didn’t get more than a full minute into it, and I took it as a literal homage to the kind of “marketing” being done for real. And, I just think anything remotely related to Deadpool is cancer-ridden, at this point.)

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Universal Orlando? I thought only Chris Brown was allowed to hurt Rihanna.

    Wait. What?

    (I kneel at the feet of the master.)

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Gental cupping of the pectoral permitted. But only once. And no squeezing, bro. That’s gay.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Too soon.

    Fire just passed away this week.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Rich Evans and Robert DeNiro.

    They are exactly the same thing.

  • I’m for a death penalty and sentence for the Mega64 “””production team”””. This is almost as bad as Skip Skop.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Execute order 6-4?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Ew.

    OK. Spandex, chubbiness, and penis. Other than those, Cosplay, you and I are good.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    At least Rich Evans wasn’t in Little Fockers and Hide and Seek.

  • Palpatine

    Ha ha ha, dying children are hilarious!

  • Palpatine

    I went there in November and it was the greatest four days of my life.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I almost went there many years back when I was stuck at Disney World with family, but I went to Animal Kingdom by myself instead.

  • Reaction vids.

  • Penis!

  • Palpatine

    Episode 2 of The People vs. O.J. Simpson was a friggin’ blast!

  • MyOpinionMattersDamnit

    Jack.. Rich.. you cant make your back ground busier than the people supplying the content on screen! It makes it difficult to focus on the info being given!

  • MyOpinionMattersDamnit

    Jack.. Rich.. you cant make your back ground visually busier than the people supplying the content on screen! It makes it difficult to focus on the info being given!

  • I’m waiting for it to come through, er, other channels any minute now

  • Palpatine

    My only complaint is the forced-in cameos by the young Kardashian kids.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You called?

  • fred

    Season 1 was good…but then AMC fucked everyone.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Yeah, they are using too much green screen. Every frame is so dense, and they may have gone too far in a few places.

  • Charon

    I fucking love Tempest.

    +5 likes, dog-brah.

  • “And I for one welcome our new simian Obertrumpenführer.”

  • Yeah, I suddenly had the strangest craving for a hot dog.

  • Stop saying things that get my prick hard.

  • A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The plot of Adam Sandler’s latest “comedy” from Wikipedia: “Two down-on-their-luck guys decide to fake their own deaths and start over with new identities, only to find the people they’re pretending to be are in even deeper trouble.” Sounds kinda like a solid premise but it ultimately will be fucked up because Sandler always ruins good premises.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Yeah, they’ll figure out that the people they are pretending to be work at a waste treatment plant, because, you know, poop jokes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    One of them will dress up as a woman.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Bill Hunter can say it way better than me.
    https://youtu.be/2gdfaaVldgE?t=1986

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Then they will figure out that the woman one of them is dressed as is actually pregnant, which will lead to a fake pregnant belly. Then we’ll have the most awkward birthing scene in history where Sandler has to keep fending off the doctor and nurses while in “labor” because they keep telling him to spread his legs, etc etc

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s like Ben Affleck and Matt Damon only less homoerotic.

  • Linkin Park?

  • There was less levity than the first episode. I wasn’t expecting that much dramatic intensity – but it was excellent, I agree.
    …but I need more drag queen Travolta!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jay looks like Spike Jonze, Spike Jonze directed that music video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssnw2GA657s

  • Looking at that photo, I can’t help but think of how much Mike’s world was about to expand.

  • By the way… uhm, internet stalking much?

  • I do have a crush! Yum yum, get myself a Stoklasa-bar!

  • Snake Squeezer

    Trying to decide if Joycelin’s breasts deserve their own credit in Space Cop.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Generic J-Crew…

  • That’s sexist. But the answer’s yes.

  • No Little Nicky reboot? What gives. That things solid gold.

  • NicCagesHair

    I find identity thieves to be naturally sympathetic characters. You just want to see them succeed.

  • NicCagesHair

    Bunch of guys running around LA in wigs and fake mustaches for a day……it can only have been Spike Jonze.

  • It’s more engaging than their review.

  • Silent protagonist? First person perspective? What is this? An FPS from the 90’s?

  • Rent them as party members. They don’t earn XP but they learn info on how to fight monsters and how to do quests. They also earn rift currency used for buying special items.

  • AllI got out of that was huge ass. I’m so, so sorry.

  • Dat hair, though.

  • Shush! You don’t get to complain about hair!

  • NicCagesHair

    Jay is rocking the full Jesse Pinkman

    Wait a minute

    Pinkman,….

    Plinkett…..

    holy shit it’s all coming together. Jay and Mike are Vince Gilligan!!!!!

  • You’re god damn right!

  • tOmy`

    So I woke up, made myself a coffee, checked FB and saw that another confirmed artists for my summer glowstick extravaganza are Prodigy.

    #SoNasty #MuchVoodoo

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I remember in the early 90’s when we had to import Charlie…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Qdp4hBYaa4

  • tOmy`

    I saw em couple of years back and it was pretty fucking disappointing. Obviously drunk / stoned, 30 minutes too late, shitty sound…

    Well, fingers crossed for this one being better. It’s one of the first bands I was excessively listening to.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was fortunate enough to see both Jilted and fat of the land tours. when I was young enough to enjoy them properly.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I have an odd feeling I should start working on my cardio. Or generally doing something.

    I know Prodigy moshpits are thing to die for, but not exactly willing to take it literally.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    When I was 16 Ice cube told me not to mosh!
    then he dropped this.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsWsmH2d_Qg
    The floor nearly caved in.

  • tOmy`

    Perfect dating movie, told you so.

  • tOmy`

    I remember this, t’was fun:

    https://youtu.be/JiXg_ljJvfA?t=50s

    Somebody was so nice he elbowed me right in the freaking teeth. Good times.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Closer to the stage means more elbows and less teeth…

  • tOmy`

    So let’s break down today’s internet; “not at all racists, like at all” people protesting Beyoncé, Trump is running for president of everything, Kayne tweeting “Billy Cosby is innocent” and Deadpool sequel is greenlit.

    If you blinked, you might have missed the obvious connection. Thanks, Obama!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Out of those “news stories” only Bouncy thing surprises me. Isn’t she universally loved by the masses?

  • Spoiled Ants

    They could’ve easily make this movie relevant if Bodie was played by Trump.

  • tOmy`

    According to “like not racist at all” people, her performance on Super Bowl referencing #blacklivesmatter, #wecan’tbreath and Malcolm X was poor taste, because there were white people watching.

    So as per usual, it turned into FOX News vs. Daily Show and now there is gonna be some protest (?) held in NYC. You know, to prove everyone that we “ain’t racist, like at all” by shutting a black woman up.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “Charlize Theron in Talks to Join ‘Fast 8’ as Villain”

    VROOM VROOM.

  • Spoiled Ants

    I’m guessing the Roger Moore movies cost only a fraction of what these “new” movies cost. You gotta be paying those 50 CGi studios that do a good job of making movies look fake as fuck.

  • Spoiled Ants

    How come they don’t update the name for the reboot. It should be called ‘JungleiPhone’

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Downunder the news is trump and Munich transport. your seppocentric news is boring me.

  • Spoiled Ants

    The harshest grade on the AV Club is a B –
    They are way too soft over there (at least for the TV section).

  • tOmy`

    I guess my newsfeed likes different kinds of trainwrecks.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    badum tis.

  • Spoiled Ants

    And what would that be like?
    Sesame Street with cat-rape intermissions?

  • Spoiled Ants

    I liked Mad Max, but I don’t have to see Fast & Furiosa.

  • Trump is a fraud. I once ordered Trump Steaks available exclusively at The Sharper Image and they tasted nothing like Trump meat.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyONt_ZH_aw

  • Spoiled Ants

    My mother told me to never trust people who squint their eyes while talking to you.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s basically the plot of every RLM movie: a bunch of guys in wigs and fake mustaches run around Milwaukee.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Until you kill and butcher Trump that is just speculation.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    From the visionary director of IRON MAN IV: RUST, comes a new vision of Rudyard Abrams’ legendary vision…THE JUNGLE TWITTER

    @Baloo: Shere Khan sux.
    @Bagheera: #GERR-ROWL, Bitch!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Nah. Pretty sure he tastes like chicken.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I’mma let you finish, but BILL COSBY INNOCENT !!!!!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Palpy-esque retort. Good on ya.

    Half upvote (needs more Rihanna).

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m sure he tastes like reheated George Bush.

  • I know we don’t discuss politics here but one more point (I’m from New Hampshire, escaped).
    It was a disappointing night for candidate and brain(less) surgeon Dr. Ben Carson. NH is not a religious US state. Ben Carson, however, is a very religious man. Here is a portrait he has hanging in his own home (yes) of himself with Kahless the Unforgettable.
    https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/bgsmraa0ubhqqmo4kkej.jpg

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “Shutting a black woman up.”

    Hey, these people might be “like, not racist at,” but I still support their cause, if shutting-up Bouncý is what their cause is.

    You think it will work?

    #IBelieveInLove

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Both.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    And then he’ll poop. You know, to tie the whole thing together.
    #ArtIs4Artists

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The, um, other channels aren’t working for me. Has The Man finally shut it all down?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Pre-whore Kardashians? Man, I don’t even remember those days.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The Chinese word for penis…

    Hot dog.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    ♫ Ahhhhhhhhhh ♫

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Go home Kanye.. you’re not drunk you’re fucking [Redacted]

  • Bill needs to get his shlong going up a certain rappers but and do the we e asel, we e easel, do the we a sel.

    Innocent til prooven guilty. But, some one can do the we e asel, do the we e asel.

  • I’m OK with it. May you get invaded as you invade. May you be terrorized as you terrorize. May Trump be Gods retribution! DEATH TO AMERICA! DEATH TO AMERICA!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Is Pauly Shore still alive?

  • NETWORTH 12 MILL BABY! STILL GOI’N! WOOOOO!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I wish my weasel was worth 12 million. all it ever got me was banned.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Qapla!

  • Yes, the gif ban and then Omigate. What a year 2014. I actually listened through an interview with PS. Sad He has lived a really depressing life.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FFgkOmAKaQ

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Despite my lack of faith, there are two things about Jesus I am absolutely certain of…He wouldn’t vote for Carson either (that’s One), and B. He doesn’t want Tim Tebow to be a professional quarterback.

    #Hosana

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    that POOR 12 mill bastard…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Fine I’ll pray then.

    Our father who art in Milwaukee, Mike be thy name,
    Give us this day some kind of content as we who watch it comment for you…
    bla, bla bla.
    CONTENT! amen.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    It’s getting to be that time, please forgive me; ‘WHATTTTT’S WRONG WITH YOUR HACK FRAUDERY!”

  • Palpatine

    The Evil One known as George Lucas is up to his old tricks.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I’d rather see him with Klaus Kinski

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I got Wrath of Kahn, Search for Spock and The Voyage home on BluRay the other day.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I’ll TRUMP that (get it? get it?, uh, uh, awwwww…) Make sure when you skin him to remember that the toupee is not reusable…

  • Palpatine

    Sadly.

  • tOmy`

    The reason is fucking stupid, simple as that.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Aw.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Speaking of not speaking about politics…A Bernie Sanders v. Donald Trump throw-down spectacular would be exactly the thing that might make 2016 bearable.

  • tOmy`

    Same for Czech Republic, actually. One of our political parties politely asked our current president to step the fuck off immediately, or they gonna drag his ass in front of Constitutional Court on chargers of high treason.

    Looking great!

  • Hail Hack Frauds,
    full of shit,
    our money is with thee.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    A new BotW is imminent. Patience.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    All the world needs is a laugh-track, because it’s Clown Time!

  • I’d jump to if I’d live in an oligarchy, militaristic, terrorist nation! DEATH TO AMERICA!

    #911rules #GreatStartNewMillenium

    https://youtu.be/wqp22Vhq_DQ?t=1m8s

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    (Needs more Jejejejejeje.)

  • Nah, I’m finished.

    #Stoklasa2016

  • Palpatine

    Feel the Bern!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    ¡Acabado!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    ♫ Do the weasel. Do the we-e-easel.
    Do.
    Do.
    Do the weasel.
    We-e-e-e-weasel. ♫

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “Scare Pewdiepie” is an original YouTube, um, thing that exists.

  • tOmy`

    Innocent until proven guilty, right?

    Funny thing is that once he plays this card (he didn’t so far), haters will, unfortunately, have to shut up. Because by this logic, he is pretty much right. And just like at Glastonbury, it will be another victory for Ye, the man of hilariously inept planning, that always seem to work out in his favor.

    Fascinating human being.

  • tOmy`

    Because there were some discussions about popularity of Deadpool character, here is AV Club’s take on it: http://www.avclub.com/article/because-you-demanded-it-deadpool-231193

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I think he’s actually mis-tweeting because Janice Dickinson’s assault claim did not proceed (as was expected, because, um, sorry, but it is Janice Dickinson, which is not to say she wasn’t assaulted, but, unfortunately, the poor woman probably wouldn’t get a conviction if O.J. assaulted her while Yeezy videotaped it ((damn Injustice System))).

    Which is a COMPLETELY different thing than “Bill Cosby innocent,” but try to explain nuance to fyucking Kanye West.

    !!!!!

  • TheManHole

    What NERDS!

  • tOmy`

    I remember that one of our first conversations was about Kanye (and Jay-Z), actually. While we were both frustrated by the state of Jay-Z’s and Kanye’s massive stardom, a black hooligans establishment, I vaguely remember saying that taking down these guys is almost impossible.

    Boy oh boy, I did not see all of this coming, tho. This guy has a momentum of a freight train and by now I am pretty sure he is the only one capable of derailing it.

  • AKA Mr. Wint
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Um, I’m absolutely certain that that’s what they think. They forget they work in a very fickle industry. Now, I know Kanye fans will claim everlasting genius for this guy, but that’s just not reasonable. Kanye fans will grow up, and he will be replaced. As he is replaced, he, too, will become irrelevant.

    Marvin Gaye is almost forgotten by the mainstream. Hendrix, too. John Lennon. We all know what has happened to Prince. Paul McCartney. Elton John. The list is endless.
    Neither Kanye West nor Jay-Z can compare, in any way except inflationary, to the impact of any of the giants on whose shoulders they squat. They’re rich. So defuck what?

    Part of the issue with Bouncý that curls my toes, and I’m, like, not racist at all, is the inappropriateness of a person of privilege and wealth speaking in “glamor” tones about the issues of the oppressed for the purpose of image enhancement. Now, accuse me of hypocrisy, but I don’t think that’s what Marvin Gaye, John Lennon, or Stevie Wonder were ever doing.

    The times, they change, and they change again, and then the inevitable reboot.

  • IF TWEETS WERE COMICBOOKS!
    Huh, what’s that? An atomic explosion! Argh….
    I’m changing… Radio… activity! Oh, I feel stronger. I feel faster.
    Wait. I’m not changing. I’m burning.
    What, who is that? Bill Cosby. I was drugged?
    Oh, he left in a hurry. What’s up with that ziggidy-bop talking?
    Who am I? Oh, a wallet. Maybe I have ID.
    Kay… Kaynea Weast? Kanye West. I’m black? This sucks. White people are awesome. Especially 1930’s German white people.
    Aw my but…

  • I think movies are movies and comicbooks are comicbooks! They should stay that way! You hear me talking, you ‘under thirty’ retards! Stop ruining movies!

  • TheManHole

    Can we make Star wars a comicbook?

  • tOmy`

    Gaye, Lennon, McCartney are still popular on radios and on streaming. And all of them are still referenced and talked about within the mainstream media.

    And that’s just media. Beatles will be Beatles till the end of the time in music industry / critics circles.

    And that’s when the punchline kicks in – so will Kanye and Jay-Z. Not because of the money, but because of their importance / relevance to hip hop. Hip hop ain’t never going away, it’s not a fad like dubstep. And these two will be always two of the pillars of this genre… and musical world as such. Inevitably, every conversation about music / hip hop will always spiral back to them (and Eminem, NWA, PE, Cypress Hill…), just like we spiral back to rock personas.

    “This is where this or that started.” “This was the moment.” “This was the issue.”

    And it’s not just about the genre itself: Kanye was already named twice one of the top 100 most influential people in world by Times and has arguably one of the best hip hop albums ever. Jay-Z is one of the best selling artists in the whole world.

    Speaking of those spirals, check this trick: You know who was most likely the most celebrated artist to ever do track with Kanye? McCartney. Do you know who Jay-Z cites as his biggest inspiration? Gaye.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    NO FRUIT IN MY BEER

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    No socks in my underwear drawer!

  • tOmy`

    Oh, and one more fun trivia: If these people were losing momentum, or becoming irrelevant… well, it should have shown by now. Jay-Z is in the game since late 80s.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Not to take out the hose and put out the bern, but just a friendly reminder that the last three presidents all lost the New Hampshire primary in years that they were first elected (Clinton in 1992, Bush in 2000, Obama in 2008).

    I hope Bern hangs around, because the longer he does, the more influence he can have. But 2,383 delegates is a way to go.

  • Sure. It’s not a movie anymore it’s a cultural phenomenon! Star Wars Darth Vader toaster is “culture 2016”. I’m so thrilled, I want to jump… to my death.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I want to see Drudge Dredd and RoboCop battle it out, That would be the bomb-diddlely-bomb-sweetest!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Judge Dredd vs. To Catch a Predator.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Oh, man. Here’s my point. See it? It’s right next to that cloud. The puffy one.

    I can’t wait until I can have a conversation with fifty year-old you.

    You are insisting on conversations nobody else is having, my sexy cheerleading brother.

    Where’s NWA these days? Oh, yeah. Making Barbershop movies. Where’s Eminem. Oh, right. He just did his redo. Where’s Dre, Diddy, the dude from matchbox20 for that matter?

    Yes, people in music talk about the past a lot. And they talk about how important they are to the present a lot, as well. That doesn’t mean they’ve learned anything from the past. Nor does it mean they’re making any kind of lasting impact matching the world-changing impact that they claim for themselves.

    Dust in the fyucking wind.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Ah, yeah. I know. The Bern is going nowhere but down. (You’ve met me right?) I would kind of hope his thoughts stay around longer than he does. And that’s not gonna happen, either.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    But, have a piece of toast first. Toast is delicious. With jam, if you like.

    Maybe, after your toast, you will rethink the jumping thing. We’d miss you.

  • Yes, this human meat bag actually get’s it. When the Gungin fleet arrives you will be spared. Coincidentally the fleet was named ISIS and the commandship is named Saddam Hussein. Really 9/11 if you ask me!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I’m actually hopeful about that. With the advantage Hilary has in superdelegates I can’t see Bern amassing 2,383, but the fact that he’s hopefully going to win a handful of primaries and caucuses is wonderful and I think he’s already had a great deal of influence. Poor on that gravy, I say.

  • Alright, let’s be pals. I like jam.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Problem is, with a competitive set-up like this, once she’s coronated as the party’s nominee, she can just claim her ideas are the winning ones and get on with her goals of fellating business.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    You’re probably right. I think the best solution would just be if everyone over age 45 would die.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Like, I’m a pretty conservative thinker, although I usually vote for who I agree with politically; not based on brand loyalty. I like the idea of Bernie, but if he thinks that he’s going to turn the U.S. into this socialist dream, that’s just sort of silly. Like, I get the whole, stepping stone thing to socialism (blah, blah, blah), but the U.S. is incredibility diverse ( and I mean on more than just a superficial level) and will not be duped into this ‘Free College’, ‘Free Healthcare’, ‘Tax the Rich 50%’ so easily. Why can’t we get a moderate like Rand Paul or something? Why do we gravitate towards the shiniest thing?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Well, I did just get my spinal tap results yesterday.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    If Bern actually won the election, my thought process would go like this:

    “Holy shit, Bern won!”

    … 20 seconds later …

    “Holy shit, how the hell is Bern going to govern?”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I don’t think even Bernie claims his Presidency would be the “stepping stone to Socialism.”

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    ‘Recruit more money, oh, wait,,,,’.

  • TheManHole

    Star wars themed mass suicide!

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    What does he claim?

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Judge Judy Vs. To Catch a Predator?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    If you want someone to govern, considering the gerrymandered Republican congress, you’re gonna have to settle for Bush 3.0.

    Mark me, anybody else is gonna spend 4-8 years in Impeachment Purgatory.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    8/10 = 4/5 = More than slightly impressed

  • Make America Grated Cheese
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I get to wear the slave outfit when we go!

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    You’re going to make me read? Ughhhh… 😉

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Nah. It’s a professor from Liberal-Land. You can just ignore it.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I don’t think Jay-Z knows how inspiration is supposed to work.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    To your “moderate” bit at the end, I think we always DO wind up with a moderate. That’s why Bern won’t be the Democratic nominee. The party often eschews riskier candidates in favor of safer ones. The last two times – in 1972 and 1984 – that Democrats went with a far left candidate, the results were 49-1. As in, 49 states for Republicans to 1 for Democrats. That’s why they favor the John Kerrys of the world. And that’s why they favor Hilary, because she would destroy Trump and easily beat Cruz.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    As to your “she would destroy and easily beat” bit at the end…Man, I still wanna believe that, but then I look around and realize, we’re living in Clown Time. Rules don’t apply anymore.

    Or maybe they do.

    I’m still predicting (which is way-not the same thing as) President Bush. Which, come to think of it, means I agree with everything you said except the Hillary winning bit.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    ♫ Good! Gawd damn! Get off your toast and jam! ♫

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I cannot see any feasible way in which Trump or Cruz win 270 electoral votes. Not against Hilary. If they were up against Sanders, maybe. But that’s why Hilary holds such a sizable advantage in superdelegates. She is the far more electable candidate and her party knows it.

    I don’t see Bush doing enough damage. He’s clearly rusty, off the campaign trail for too long and it showed in every debate. Say whatever you want about George W. Bush, but he was an excellent debater and there’s no way he would’ve let Trump push him around like Jeb has.

    The only two electable Republican candidates are Marco Rubio and John Kasich. They’re the only two candidates that guarantee any sort of electoral advantage (Ohio and Florida), and they’re harder to paint with the crazy brush.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    EDIT: Sorry for the snippy.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I read it. Yeah, just a projection of tenuous proposals. I hate politics.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Other economists, however, feel that Friedman’s analysis is overly optimistic, saying it would be difficult to achieve that level of economic prosperity. Last week, the Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget said Sanders’ plan to pay for health care would fall short by at least $3 trillion.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    And there you go. So, we end up back where we are.
    In the full course of history, it’s clear…nothing fails quite so surely as success.

    Maybe I got that switched around.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The only thing that defines “electability” is money. If Bush weren’t already the choice of some serious-Illuminati-wannabe-bucks, you’d think he’d’ve been gone already, considering how badly he’s getting hammered.

    Rubio’s practically toast already (and, he’s got the demeanor of a petulant third grader, to boot), and nobody even knows who Kasich is. That leaves only one standing against the whackos.

    Granted, I know sh!t.

    Somebody’s gonna have to hit me with a Rihanna joke P.D.Q. before I ruin the whole conversation.

  • Tim Hendrix

    Boooh!, i want a new Hacks in da Bag

  • Like Icare

    #Stoklasa9/11

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I just think of it mainly in terms of math. Where do the delegates and votes come from. In that regard, Rubio and Kasich are the most electable candidates.

    I agree that Rubio really screwed up the momentum he gained in Iowa with a horrible debate performance on Saturday. That reflected in his numbers in New Hampshire. But Kasich performed better than expected, has an endorsement from the New York Times, and is in no way out of it. He’s also the popular governor of Ohio, one of the most important battleground states in 21st century American politics. He’s far from done.

    The Republicans need one of those guys to step up and take control, or I’m thinking it’s likely Cruz (who is hated by his own party) will be the nominee. And he’ll get trounced by Hilary.

  • Like Icare

    That’s covered in the next 2 sentences.

    Sanders’ plan to pour $14.5 trillion into the economy — including spending on infrastructure and youth employment, increasing Social Security benefits, making college free and expanding health care and family leave — would juice GDP and productivity. (Friedman reduces the cost of Medicare-for-all to $10.7 trillion because he estimates the government would save $3.1 trillion by eliminating tax breaks for health insurance premiums.)

  • Like Icare

    I second that emulsion.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Yeah, I guess.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    So true, I forgot how to laugh…

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I was just sort of copy and pasting the contrarians.

  • tOmy`

    It was a comment about Kanye becoming irrelevant – because I don’t think that’s the case.

    In 50 years, these people might be a history, but they will be an important and integral part of that history.

    While NWA is done for for more than 2 decades, that’s like saying “Where is Joy Division / Sex Pistols now, huh?”. They were there, that’s kinda the important part of the story. Plus, there is a whole damn biopic about them.

    As to Eminem and Dre… well, they both released new albums in 2015 and still work their assess off; currently producing for newcomers and running their own labels.

  • Tapeworm

    Let’s all ponder the legacy of LMFAO

  • tOmy`

    It’s right in their title.

  • tOmy`

    Dj EZ will play 24h long live DJ set for charity on Feb 28 – Feb 29. Sounds like a great Manhole marathon!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    fuck you lazy asshole we still never had a motorhead/bowie KIKI!

  • tOmy`

    Dammit, you are right! We could do it this weekend, I guess.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    They were right there at the start of it.
    Milli Vanilli. part of the conversation, 4 evah.

  • AKA Mr. Wint
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Already irrelevant.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    P.S. How do you have Bush not delivering Florida’s electoral votes?

    it’s a good thing I’m not any good at this stuff. Still, you’re not making me feel any better with this Rubio thing.

  • Tapeworm

    Well, Milli Vanilli at least were great singers, right?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I thought it was the dancing.

    Wait. Maybe it was the hair.

    #OldPeople:NotKeepingUpSince1980-Something

  • tOmy`

    I think this was the moment when they became known:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8QKXpfPbKw

    It also features another person set to change it all. I think he made like one album and became a punchline to a joke.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Oh, I KNOW LMFAO. They were the BIG stars at the Super Bowl when it was doing its BIG stars thing in Indianapolis.

    I mean, they weren’t “GaGa-nailed-it BIG,” but, oh yeah, they were supposed to be the pull. We also had Madonna that year.

    Golly, friend, I wish you could’ve seen me. Basking in all the reflected musical relevance.

  • tOmy`

    I wanted to make this comment under “already irrelevant”, poking the fun at the fact that no matter what these people ever do, it won’t ever be up to some unknown standards, but since you mentioned Gaga here, I’ll make the joke here:

    I was imagining you, sitting there, watching her performance, thinking to yourself: “Fuck, she looks kinda normal. What do I… what do I hate… well, I can’t hate the song, because there is a real band playing. I can’t exactly hate the lyrics… afterall, it’s a national anthem. She is… actually dressed up to the occasion… Think, Pa, think! You are better than this! Oh! OH! I know! Look at them eyelids. WHOOOOOOORE!”

    (Relax, it’s a joke. But admit it, there is a grain of truth in it!)

  • Tapeworm

    I’m down

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I can take a joke, youngling. (Nobody bit on my coining the phrase “peoplettes” for the yoot.)

    I didn’t watch her performance. Couldn’t be the least bit bothered. No TV, besides…One: The National Anthem. Misappropriated patriotism. Always makes me cringe. B: Sure, there was a band standing there, but what you were hearing was more than likely mostly tape. 2: It wasn’t the look I couldn’t stand. It was the “rah-rah-nah-nah-nah” mindless gibberish crap. Cee: I have no idea what GaGa’s sex life is, but I don’t think “whore” when I think of her. And 5th: It’s not 2007 anymore.

    It might surprise you that the sixty year-old Accounts Receivable clerk at the office agrees with you. Lady GaGa, for the win. Yippee.

    What do I hate? I hate pop music. That’s what I hate.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Speaking of something Palpy wants to talk about…Rihanna’s new album is a hit, and she’s taking it like a champ. She’s had hits before.

    #IGotNothing

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Question: Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?

    Answer: Yes. February 14th.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I think Jeb could conceivably get to 270, I just don’t think he’ll get the chance.

    He is the former Governor of Florida. Rubio is the current senator, a recent winner of an election. The latter is clearly more adept on the campaign trail right now. Jeb has looked horribly rusty throughout his campaign and still hasn’t really rounded into form. Worse, he’s let Trump bully him the whole time.

    The proof is in the numbers. He hasn’t cracked the top three in either of the first two primaries. He’s getting lost in the shuffle. If he doesn’t make a strong showing in South Carolina he might not be around much longer.

    Rubio has been on the same stage as Trump, Carson, Huckabkee and Fiorina for months. He’s harder to simply cast away as a crazy conservative, especially standing next to those clowns. He’s also young, which he would use to his advantage in a general election against Hilary, who – if she won – would be just a few months younger than Reagan when he was first elected. He’s also Latino, which is huge for the Republicans because they badly need votes from that demographic. Any would help.

    The problem now is that Rubio needs a strong showing in South Carolina as much as Jeb does. Once primaries and caucuses are over, the attention turns to the race to 270. I think Rubio is the most likely Republican candidate to hit that number. But if he continues to stumble he won’t get that chance, either.

  • TheManHole

    #MakeHoldayCashGabsGreatAgain

  • tOmy`

    Don’t limit yourself to pop music, in your case, sky is the limit. You hate hip hop. You hate rap. You hate everything electro. You hate DJs. You hate producers. Modern punk-rock… Oh! Nu-metal. Everything pop-rock, most likely everything mainstream rock…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    All that is true. Well, true-ish.

    The media announced after the only Trump-less debate, that Jeb was the one that looked the most Presidential. It was confirmed by polling. His strategy is obviously to stick around long enough for the nutters to eat each other. Rubio’s initial appeal is wearing off as quickly as Dane Cook’s did, due to his reliance on repetition and catch-phrases. He’s too-easy a target. Plus, he looks like he’s too young to drive without some grown-up in the car: I don’t think the “young” thing works in his favor.

    Then again, I’m clearly not the one to talk for the peoplettes. I just don’t think they’re gonna vote. They usually don’t.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yeah, but what I love, I love with as much passion as you. I love the good stuff.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    In all honesty, I’m amazed that Jeb hasn’t assumed control of the GOP race.

    My personal highlight of the GOP race has been the debates. Not because of Trump, Carson, botched entrances or anything else. But because of Jeb occasionally making a face that all but says “I can’t believe I’m losing to these f*cking morons.”

  • Palpatine

    You stealing my act?!

  • Earth
  • tOmy`

    Well, his charisma of a severely depressed squirrel staring into the headlights of an incoming semi didn’t help.

  • TheManHole

    Oh my gawd you ruin every love day.

  • Earth

    Deadpool, Batman vs Superman, Civil War, X-Men Apocalypse, Suicide Squad… So many Half in the Bag reviews I won’t need to see the movie for.

  • Earth
  • Tapeworm

    SJW happy hour: You guys do see how mean spirited and lazy that joke is, right?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I can’t wait to parrot them.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    We discussed this yesterday. Yes. No. OK. I’ll stop.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Couldn’t if I wanted to.

  • Snake Squeezer

    In a Chef’s battle on the food network.

  • Like Icare
  • tOmy`

    Is domestic violence off limits?

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Thanks to Aldi, I can afford a cheap palm full…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Start now: Deadpool will be loved because it’s “something different and not taking itself so seriously.” BvS will be hated because that’s what the internet has already decided to do (and it will also be a terrible movie). Civil War will be mehed because it is an obvious cash grab, but it will be loved because obvious cash grabs are genius when they’re Disney cash grabs. X-Men, um, whatever. Suicide Squad? I doubt they’ll even Half-Bag it.

    Mike: “So, Jay, would you recommend this [Marvel] movie we just spent twenty minutes complaining about?”

    Jay: “Yes.”

    Mike: “So, Jay, would you recommend this DC movie we just spent twenty minutes complaining about?”

    Jay: “No way.”

    Jay: “So, Mike, would you recommend [insert any movie title here]?”

    Mike: “Well, um, yeah, sure.”

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I have this odd suspicion that Mike is going to hate Deadpool. Though I have no reason why I think that.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    According to my refrigerator, even my milk has a date on Valentine’s Day.

  • Tapeworm

    I’m just saying, if the joke is “she got beaten up” how many times do you hear it and find it funny.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Um, Ishtar-many times.

  • tOmy`

    I have the same feeling. And I think they will like Suicide Squad for doing what DC didn’t want to do in the first place. You know, fun.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Secret ingredient?

  • tOmy`

    There is a joke about people coming back to the joke like a battered housewife, but I am not gonna do it, because I run out of hashtag-trigger warnings.

  • Palpatine

    Honestly, yes.

  • Like Icare

    Penis envy.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Sweet Street Justice Sauce

  • Palpatine

    I may have gone too far in a few places.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Deadpool: The Film Space Cop Could’ve Been.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    At this point, it’s not “she got beaten up” (that’s never a joke). It isn’t even “she got beaten up and then she claimed it wasn’t abuse, it was out of control love.”

    At this point, the joke is “Remember that time Palpy made that perfectly-timed joke? Now watch that idiot Pa run it into the ground until we’re all sick of him.”

  • Tapeworm

    You can say whatever you want including “fuck you” to me, I’m just doing my part.

  • Like Icare

    Coming back to that same old joke is a homage to all the battered housewives out there?

    #NextStopStockholm

  • tOmy`

    Okay, let’s do a small turnaround and return to where it all started: Previously Recorded – Dragon’s Dogma.

    I didn’t like the comment about “generic as Tolkien”, although I do see where are they coming from. But Rich then mentioned Elves as being the classic generic shit from Tolkien, yet I have the odd feeling that Tolkien was one of the first to popularize “human-sized” elves, right?

    And yea, I could Google it, but then there wouldn’t be anything to talk about.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I think Dredd over-cooked the lamb.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Ba-dum-tsh.

  • Tapeworm

    Fantasy is all freaking addendums to Tolkien and I don’t even like Tolkien that much.

  • infernocanuck

    I think I might stop watching these. Jack really isn’t doing it for me.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    #TeamJack4Life

  • tOmy`

    Are you implying that you violated restraining order?

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    ChefRoyale: Somebody’s going out in a doggy bag…

  • tOmy`

    Some Tapeworms really do wanna watch the world burn, right?

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Do you like Happy Console Gamer?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Does Tolkien really get all the credit for fantasy? Wasn’t there a whole King Arthur or Greek Mythology thing before him?

  • TheManHole

    Yeah but he really popularized a lot of what we see today.

  • tOmy`

    No. Yes.

  • Like Icare

    Shakesman’s Midsummer Night’s Earth?

    Fairy queen bangs a half-man-half-donkey in it… She had to be anatomically correct for THAT.

    http://pornparody.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/midsummer-nights-cream-xxx.jpg

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Well, they’re just a part of Germanic Mythology. They’ve been in folk tales for two thousand plus years. He just used them to tell his biblical analogy; that’s all. Rich and Jack sort of dumb down their content I feel. They are like one step above James Rolfe and Retard Matei.

  • Like Icare

    Big dairy sure is milking it…

  • tOmy`

    Oh, I know. But (and I feel like I should have done it already) to properly explain what I was saying:

    To Jack’s “generic as Tolkien”, Rich used the example of elves. But I think that Tolkien was the first one to properly popularize the non-generic elves, because from what I remember, the classic depiction of an elf is a little fairy-like thing, sucking flowers.

  • Like Icare

    Deadcop would be a hit in Ferguson.

  • tOmy`
  • Sheriff Mitchell

    OOF.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Yeah, Tolkien’s eleves were definitely distinct in that they were humanoid although probably more fish/bird like in appearance. Were immortal, bound by heritage and blood line. Ironically the Eldar were immortal but all but a handfull of the 1st age Elves were dead by the 3rd age. I doubt these buffoons have read the Silmarillion; Rich may have.

  • TheManHole

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxgsxaFWWHQ

    Some of the best video’s ever done explaining the LoTR’s movies there is a part two as well.

  • Buk Pravon

    This reminds me: I recently watched the first 20 minutes of “Ghostbusters 2”, because I wanted to hear the HitB commentary track for it. I think I went tired and ended it then.

    But there is this guest of Venkmans Talkshow, Elaine, who states that the world ends this year on february 14th. 🙂

  • tOmy`

    Awesome stuff.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Like, store window nerds claim that he does. Mos def not; fantasy has been in ALL cultures for ever. He was just sort of taking Finnish/Germanic/Celtic mythology and making a solidified mythology for England. He never felt England had a proper Mythology of it’s own; so he made one.

  • Like Icare

    I wonder if the local butchers will have a Valentine’s special on animal hearts?
    Or is that more of a Halloween thing?
    And why not both?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=eDkqIrb5i1c#t=112

  • tOmy`

    Ok, so since we answered the quintessential question of Elves, let’s dig in deeper:

    1) What is your favorite character class in RPGs and why?
    2) What is your favorite race introduced in RPGs / fantasy?
    3) What is your favorite beast / monster design?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yes

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Elves are evil. if you dont pay them with milk and shit they will fuck you over. thats what I remember from being a kid.

  • TheManHole

    The will also stab you in the balls.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Fairies ent elves!

  • Palpatine

    Tolkien pretty much used a lot of old fantasy tropes and made them seem fresh and new for the modern age.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have never ever been on a valentine’s date. one of the advantages of being born on the 12th.
    Lady: “What are we doing for valentines?.”
    Me: “well that is the day I chose to have drinks for my Bday. soooo, drinks?”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    *Going.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I was surprised by this, so I’m just gonna throw it out here…DEADPOOL is only showing on one screen per theater at each of the four Godzillaplexes in my neighborhood. Personally, I think that will be plenty, but did Fox all-of-a-sudden forget how to manipulate opening weekend Box Office? Hint: You don’t let ZOOLANDER 2 play on twice as many theater screens as your little superhero thingie.

    Guess Disney really does have all the jam.

  • TheManHole

    They needed to make room for more showings of Star wars.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Judge Judy Vs Judge Dredd.
    Dredd: “I AM THE LAW!”
    Judy: “Not in my courtroom. now shut up.”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    1.) Third Grade because Miss Fielding was rocking Farrah Fawcett hair long before we knew what Farrah Fawcett hair was.
    2.) Dogs. I like them better than horses because of the mechanical rabbit.
    E.) Nosferatu. Because, scary.

    Wait. What? Oh, sorry. You were talking about something else.

  • Okay. Let’s dispel once and for all with this fiction that George Lucas doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows EXACTLY what he’s doing. George Lucas is undertaking a systematic effort to change Star Wars, to make these movies more like the rest of the schlock.

    That’s why he makes so many embarrassing scripts and made Jar Jar a funnier character than they’ve ever had before and shoves these so called “films” down our throats and lightsabers on us all. It is a systematic effort to change Star Wars.

    When I’m in charge, we are going to re-embrace all the things that made Star Wars the greatest film in the world and we are going to leave our children with what they
    deserve: the single greatest Star Wars movie in the history of the world.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • AKA Mr. Wint
  • RLMkeepitup

    you can really help the franchise take its next big step

  • tOmy`

    Well, I think re-visioning mythological tropes is a better way to describe it. It’s not like he just changed the backstory or their appearance, he crafted a brand new world with them. And the world itself also seems like a re-visioning of many other mythological tropes.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    He sure can. All he needs is a Stepladder!

  • tOmy`

    *shoving

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Is it people sticking guns in his mouth threatening to blow his brains out? I’d watch that.

  • I need to stop paying attention to politics.

    #MakeStawWarsGreatAgain

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Stah Wah is gonna win again. It’s gonna win yuge.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Is that from Danger 5? LOL!

  • AKA Mr. Wint
  • YUGE!!!!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    We have compulsory voting. last time I voted there was a crazy who took his ballot and used it to wipe his arse. then shoved it in the ballot box.
    Thats why democracy will NEVER WORK!

  • RLMkeepitup

    hey you can’t make your word Trump others just by shouting it can you?

  • In the United States you can.

  • TheManHole

    Star pimps: The “Dark” side

    Dec 21st 2018.

  • TheManHole

    But wait there’s more call now and we will double that offer! Just pay separate shipping and handling!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    A) thats cute.
    B) fuck it!!!! I have been hand carving a unique police badge, and I just realised its just a dredd knockoff. FUCK! back to the drawing board.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    *Back to bunker

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I dont need a bunker, but I would like one.

  • RLMkeepitup

    yes we can. make america great again. See the last guy just forgot to finish his thought.

  • Palpatine

    Now repeat that ten more times and I’ll vote for you.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    So are most RLM jokes. Your point?

  • 1) Street Samurai in Shadowrun, Deckers are cool as well. It’s the ultimate 90’s hacker fantasy. Fantasy? I like rogues for their flexibility.
    2) I used to play dwarves a lot. They seem like guys you might want to hang out with.
    3) Dark Souls’ Bed of chaos – great design, terrible fight.

  • Apparently this thread is “trending” on disqus for some reason?

  • Tapeworm

    Is your point that I am automatically a fan of everything RLM does or says?

  • TheManHole

    Wait really?

    Edit: I don’t use Disgustis for anything other then this webzone.

  • AKA Mr. Wint
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    *points at tOmy and runs*

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m saying look where you are.The content these RLM makes,the commenters they attact. One month domestic violence is a recurring joke and the next month it could be a rape joke or a suicide joke. I mean you been years here yourself. At this point you know first hand we have no limits.

  • tOmy`

    Holy shit, one hour in Bridge of Spies and we are already only one puppy sitting next to an American pie away from this being the most beautiful fairy tale about Cold War for the whole family ever.

  • Tapeworm

    I’m sorry, but if we can say anything, what exactly is wrong with me saying that some of the stuff is fucked up?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Under the hashtag “cringeworthy”?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Jewberg likes his schmaltz. It’s why Jaws will always be his best film. Simple story elevated by great craftsmanship.

  • tOmy`

    Yea. But I am actually quite far from being bored. It does look pretty great and it is sorta charming.

    He should start making romantic comedies.

  • TheManHole

    We are not thaaaaaaaaaat bad… right?

  • Palpatine
  • dollar store cashier wife

    I just find it weird domestic violence was like a point in which you felt the need to tell us about self reflection. I don’t even make these rihihi jokes anyways. I’m just interested in arbitrary limits.

  • Paulus Nuns

    1) Warrior, because I can display my knowledge of historical warfare, even if my character doesn’t have a clue. Wizards are cool too of course. Priests are extremely annoying, gods in general are not very interesting in these Fantasy settings and your regular “hospitaler/templar” type gets old really fast.

    2) I personally don’t care about races at all, they are annoying. Human is the way to go. Everything else is like raping Tolkien.

    3) I love D&D Manticores, jelly cubes, beholders, bone golem…Some of the best creatures are DM inventions. As far as COC, I love Shoggoths.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I can’t wait for the new Indiana Jones to come out in 2018. Just in time for the 10th anniversary of Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls (seriously, Ford and Spielberg are going to be TEN YEARS OLDER than in the last one). It’s gonna be great.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its because this is the only time of the day all the main commenters are awake.

  • tOmy`

    If it’s based on keywords and topics, I wouldn’t be surprised, under Pre-Rec videos people usually talk about everything else than Pre-Rec.

  • Palpatine

    And yet Spielberg still has the mind of an 11-year old.

  • TheManHole

    Recruit more buzzfeed more twater more hashtags.

  • TheManHole

    Been rocking out to the 80’s all day.

  • tOmy`

    Deckers as in Saints Row?

  • tOmy`

    Aaaaaaaaaaaand there’s the puppy looking for scraps of food between frozen bricks next to Berlin Wall.

    Glamorous.

  • Sort of, those were definitely cyberpunk inspired. http://shadowrun.wikia.com/wiki/Decker

  • rubio.exe has stopped working.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0WUtNJAo9k

    I know it was a few days ago, but I just discovered this gold.

  • tOmy`

    This made my day, thank you.

  • TheManHole

    Stay on topic!

  • TheManHole

    Please tell me this is a real thing?! Indiana Jones and the quest for Medicaid.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    All of these candidates are so thin-skinned. You’d think they’d understand they’re going to be heavily scrutinized but they mope and complain more than Cavill’s Superman.

  • I say during the next debate they release a group of wild mountain lions onto the stage without letting anyone know in advance. Whoever lives is the nominee.

  • tOmy`

    That’s gonna be the moment Jeb was waiting for.

    He will jump over his table, rip apart his suit, showing off his manly lushes chest hair. He crouches down, takes a big knife out of his ankle-strap and with a roar of a wild animal… he finally cuts his wrists, screaming “I can’t do this anymore, dad!”

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    His dad is too busy being an awesome 95 year old and jumping out of planes and shit to give a damn.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    91*

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Winner: Christie.

    First to get eaten: Carson. Without his flash cards he is lost and confused. Or no wait that’s all the time.

  • I can see Trump standing on one of the podiums shouting at the mountain lions:

    “EAT CHRISTIE!! HE’S A FUCKING FATASS!!”

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    HE’S YUGE!!!!!!

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Ad it to the ‘to do’ list.

  • Earth

    Without the viceroy they’ll be lost and confused.

    (sorry)

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    No no that was exactly what I was going for. You’re on point.

  • Earth

    Good film. It’s got the whole Spielberg sentimentality thing going but it feels more appropriate considering the subject matter.

  • tOmy`

    The Oscar Movie: Bridge of Spies (Steven Spielberg, for Oscars 2016)

    “Nominations for best movie: Bridge of Spies”
    – Oscars

    In his 2016 Oscar flick, Steven Spielberg tackles his most ambitious goal yet: To make an insurance agent likable. Like a glorious chef he is, he puts about 8 layers of hopey changey, goody feely and likey likey layers of a wedding cake on top of a true story, based on events Americans simply won’t believe, as they will ask: “Wait a minute! Germans? Russians? Didn’t we win the war?”

    But when you lick the icing of sweetness on top of this Oscar cake, struggle through the cream layer of obviousness and eat your way through the layer upon layer of emotions and “humans are awesome!” filling, you will eventually get to a pretty interesting, good looking and tightly written movie about… diplomacy. It is buried there, you just have to look… a little bit harder, than it was necessary.

    As with every cake, there is a sense of regret, gluttony and diabetes lingering after the meal, but this is a desert (and pretty good one at that), so you might as well enjoy it. 8/10

  • tOmy`

    Who dares to put emotions into an actually emotional story?!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So Johnny Depp is going t be the Invisible Man. You can’t beat this Invisible Man though. http://img.cache.vevo.com/Content/VevoImages/video/1BE3CF6A23024A611EC17E32C15FE84A.jpg

  • Palpatine

    Ben Carson does look like Nute Gunray.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I still think this is Spielberg’s best film
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKdxd718WXg

  • Earth

    I’m actually a really big fan of the original (Invisible Man is one of my favourite horror/sci fi stories) so I look forward to seeing how they fuck this up.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s going to be part of their Monster Cinematic Universe. With the first film being directed by Alex Kurtzman….shit it’s already doomed.

  • Earth

    Oh Jesus that Monster Cinematic Universe Mike and Jay were laughing about isn’t actually happening is it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It is. Starting with the Mummy starring Tom Cruise but directed by Alex fucking Kurtzman. They’re doomed to fail.

  • Earth

    Sigh…

    Why is Hollywood incapable of making a decent monster movie these days?

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    At this point, I would be offended if there were any bit of new content.

  • Palpatine

    It’s been two weeks since we’ve had content that everyone on here actually likes.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yeah, but I always thought of THE INVISIBLE MAN as a comedy.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Well, aside from your jokes.

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, those.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Don’t know about the movie, but this was a sweet review.

  • Hm… MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN BY TAKING AWAY HEALTH CARE! YES!!!!

    BTW, didn’t Trump win along with Sanders?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Except he bowed out today. Along with Fiorina.

    We’re down to 5?

  • Earth

    Great movie.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    They haven’t had it that long. They’ll never miss it.

    Besides, the only people who need health care are old, and we all know what ‘Merica thinks about the old. They’re icky. They won’t admit Kanye West is Gawd. And, they smell like milk.

    Good riddance.

  • Rubio’s ‘inspired’ speech reminds me of one sketch from Family Guy. One that’s actually pretty good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm3d43HLyTI

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    *And hooked up to lots of tubes.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    James Whale.

  • I’m rewatching Space Cop 24/7. I don’t need new content.

  • You must be braindead by now.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You meant this as a compliment, maybe, but I just spent an hour with an 11 year-old.

    Jeebus. Jeebus Chrissy.

  • Christ, apparently Deadpool 2 has been greenlit. *shoots self in the head*

  • Earth

    Exactly.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Of course it has. They’ve already mapped out 3 as well, penciled in the release date for 4, hired a director for the reboot, and gotten Bryan Singer to shoot an end credits sequence for the crossover.

  • Nah, masochism just gets me really, really hard.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    That’s one of the few MTV songs that can still bring a smile to my face.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why am I the only one here looking forward to Deadpool? You people are putting it on like an Adam Sandler level. Calm your shit tits.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Destroy what’s left of them.

  • tOmy`

    I am actually quite surprised people called it too long, because I wouldn’t mind like a half an hour on top of it.

    The first act, where we see rather important friendship development moments revolving around two trials seems to be a bit rushed. I wouldn’t mind seeing more of them talking and especially more of the trials… but I guess since this is pretty much aimed at whole family quality time on a Sunday evening, I can see why they didn’t bother.

    The sweetness and emotions can be a bit too much for some, but I actually laughed through some of them due to their painful obviousness / predictability / simplicity, and laughing is still better than a dead stare.

  • You know, sometimes one movie is just enough.

  • tOmy`

    I would edit the sentence structre, but I am tired and off to bed. I shall do it tomorrow.

  • Earth

    Deadpool just seems like everything I dislike about superhero movies mixed with an annoying protagonist for 13 year olds.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That doesn’t make sense. You sound like Donald Trump or something. Shit on films that really fucking deserve it like The Mummy Reboot directed by Alex fucking Kurtzman.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Ah, let it go. It’s fine. Nice work.

  • tOmy`

    Dewd, that’s like noon discussion. It was right there with Cosby and racism.

    Unlike Pre-Rec.

  • Palpatine

    Is this what you look like now:
    http://m.imgur.com/S1jnkOf

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    More than enough.

    Sometimes, even one movie is unnecessary.

  • Seriously, how long can you keep up the same shtick? Shitty, cookie cutter plot and another origin story to boot. That plus jokes that are going to get old before the movie ends and you want more? Deadpool is a one trick pony.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Not only does Wiz want more, he wants us to diaper-up our tits.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Let me ask you something, have you seen the film yet? The answer is no clearly. Also you’re looking down on an audience that doesn’t fucking deserve to be. You’re becoming like YouTube level bad in terms of comments.

  • So far, the only thing that’s leaking is my brain.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Wiz, you’ve seen the film yet? Don’t wield the YouTube insults.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No but I’m going in with this thing called an open mind. I forgot what that was after seeing Norm of The North.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well you support Trump. So that makes sense.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    This thing called an open mind which is applied according to what? The things that interest you don’t necessarily interest everybody else. You know, I’m not mad at you, but if I told you there was a chance that a Mummy reboot would be a good movie (not that I’d ever), you’d probably skewer me.

    It’s no different than my telling you Deadpool is going to be crap whether you like it or not.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t want a Cyborg movie I can tell ya that. Or an Inhumans movie. There’s no fucking material for any one of those films. Serious, just no. Regardless of what you think of Deadpool’s marketing, notice I didn’t say film, it looks like a movie and the character has enough material to have his own movie. Why the fucking Inhumans? They’re just space X-Men but with no interesting characters. Deadpool at least has a character, the Inhumans have…..shit I can only remember what they look like.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I guarantee, though, somebody, somewhere, is jonesing for an Inhumans movie, and you just hurt their feeling.

  • Uh… Yeah, let’s go with that. I think my jokes may have become too real.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sometimes I go into things with an open mind like Deadpool because I see many positive things. It doesn’t have a giant red flag like the Mummy reboot. See the difference?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Nope, I don’t. Because the flag for Deadpool is so big and red it might as well BE Deadpool.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So if I say I’m looking forward to Deadpool will I be kicked out of here? Will there be a “No Joaquins allowed” sign in which you can allow a Joaquin? Will you let the hurricane in?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Of course not. C’mon now, Wiz. You know you’re not the only one.

  • Palpatine

    No, you won’t. Hell, I was one of the few people on here who liked Jurassic World and I wasn’t kicked out.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I see an angry mob outside my house of bearded hipsters with neck and face tattoos. They’re throwing me copies of Noah Baumbach’s garbage films and telling that’s real comedy.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Well, throw some Deadpool sh!t at ’em.

    Hipsters are pansies.

  • Paulus Nuns

    They will answer this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx0Lpjm5xcE

    Nah, I would be surprised if someone attacked you on that, wtf is that?

  • Paulus Nuns

    Is…that…a guf? gifi?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Throw me Francis Ha, not Greenberg. Remember that? It was like Garden State but worse!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I couldn’t get through Frances Ha.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You should see that angry mob. It makes Occupy Portland look like Occupy Adam Sandler’s house.

  • Don’t worry, it’ll be all back to normal when you refresh your window.
    https://33.media.tumblr.com/c2793f5a4dff4f1141dfaa54289e9d8e/tumblr_mifvnclCSk1qjszfuo1_250.gif

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Calm your tits jesus.

  • Does his name end with Luxury-Yacht?

  • Paulus Nuns

    Still, this feels vintage.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Looks like someone is either completely out of the loop…or too emotionally involved in defending a shitty movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I like the script more than the movie. The Training Day of indie movies.

  • Paulus Nuns

    It does, but is pronnounced Throatwobbler Mangrove.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Here I have always been thinking I was the only one who didn’t like it.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    He’s playing, I think.

    Everybody’s tits are in the up-and-locked position.

  • I wanted to ask does his name end with “von Hautkopft of Ulm”.

  • Palpatine

    From what I remember, a lot of people on here didn’t like it. Which is understandable.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I am just going off topic on something that’s already off topic. Go ahead, kids, make your shitty Inception jokes, I’m waiting.

  • I’ll build a fence around you to keep you out and make MOVIES GREAT AGAIN.

    PS. I hated “Her”.

    PS2. Not really.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Let’s talk about that Mummy reboot. Seriously, what are they fucking thinking? Alex Kurtzman is almost universally, pun not intended, considered one of the worse writers in the industry who made blockbusters dumber. And they chose his first movie to be a reboot of a classic franchise that has been tainted by Brendan Fraiser Crane. It’s doomed especially if he’s writing it. The movie will most likely feature a subplot with magic blood. What’s next? An Invisible Man movie with Johnny Depp-mother fucker! I thought studios loved to make money not lose it.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Are they seriously rebooting the Mummy with Brendan Frasier? Or is this just a Mummy movie. It certainly can’t get weirder than that crossover they did with Scorpion King.

  • Yes. Tuesday.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    For a group that hangs out on a site devoted to B minus pop culture, I think the gang has commendable, balanced tastes, all things considered. Even when I don’t agree with ’em.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You walk right into these jokes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They’re rebooting it but they’re replacing Encino Man with Tom Cruise, who’s an ex special ops agent. It already sounds like a Kurtzman and Orci movie. Abandon ship, Universal. You’re fucked.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    They’re rebooting the Universal Mummy. Which is what they did with Brendan Frasier, so yeah, re-reboot.

    (There’s a Chris Brown joke there somewhere, but as tapey pointed out, we oughtta let that rest a little bit.)

  • At least I didn’t have to click the link to see the image.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That original Brendan Frasier Crane Mummy movie wasn’t so bad actually. It wasn’t scary but had a fun adventure feel. The sequels well we all no were The Rock got his start and it wasn’t good. Also there weren’t any mummies in China I believe.

  • That’s… just… no… Mummies are stupid, they certainly feel like the worst monsters. Unless they can ‘spin’ the whole ‘cursed tomb’ thing cleverly [see what I did there?]. Well, it’s certainly a product. Mr Cruise is Generic Action Man after all.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    See, I like the Universal Monsters. Scratch that: I LOVE those movies. I would love to see a good Universal-style monster movie again. But. It. Can’t. Be. Done. These are not the times. These are the times of amped-up, comic-book-inspired slop, computer-generated to the pixel.

    That glorious, old-fashioned, romantic, black n’ white stuff should be left alone.

    Look at it this way, though. With Johnny Depp as the Invisible Man, at least you won’t be put off by any of his weird make-up.

  • I get it had some charm, I guess. It was supposed to be ‘fun’ and ‘adventurous’, sort of like a more comedic Indiana Jones.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It sounds too generic for Tom Cruise to be honest. That’s saying something. Remember Knight and Day?

  • Paulus Nuns

    What about Dracula by Coppola?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Oh I fyucking HATED it.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Nah. Spielberg can’t make action-adventure movies anymore. I mean, a lot of people praised Tin Tin, but I found it obnoxious. Indy 4 was unwatchable. TLW was a missed opportunity.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s like if Indiana Jones was a fat guy.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Haha, damn. I love it, despite its flaws, but it has a bit of the old Universal appeal don’t you think? The scenes in the castle, and all.

  • Hey, at least he wasn’t part time. He was more than full…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    PreRec is limbo.

    #BWAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    A little bit, buried under all that camp-acting and ham-handed romancifying.

    Did you ever see Herzog’s remake of NOSFERATU? That’s more of the kind of stuff I like.

  • The trailer gave me cancer.

  • If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the can.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    My question is: Is Cruise gonna be the Mummy? ‘Cause I might dig that. That preening cockatoo wrapped in rotten bandages.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Sorry. I’m a bottles man.

  • He’d be a really short one, though.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Gazelle from Kingsman is going to be the titular mummy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    See that’s the problem there. Comic books are almost endless from what you can pull from so an adaptation is fine because you can pull from tons of things while being accurate the material. If you kept rebooting the same shit over and over and over again you’re going to get stale or insultingly lazy. Both words accurately describe Alex Kurtzman by the way. In fact all of his scripts are like that. No wonder they picked him.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    So? Cruise is gonna be the damsel in distress?

  • Paulus Nuns

    Hmm no I didn’t. I’ve watched about 6 of his movies, but never heard of it…good thins it’s on youtube. Btw, the original one is extremely creepy.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Oh yeah.

    If you dig the old German silents, you should check out one called VAMPYR if you ever get the chance (or haven’t already).

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Yep, saw that minutes after I posted that comment. Gotta love the Iowa caucus. You know half the f*ckers will be gone 10 days later.

    Onto South Carolina, where Rubio, Kasich and Bush will whip it out and see whose is bigger.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Tom Cruise is gonna…..leave the project. *slidewhistle*

  • dollar store cashier wife

    There’s gonna be a live action Sonic movie in 2018. You still want that oscar Leo? Start dyeing your hair blue and gaining weight.

    #it’s gonna be great

    #gotta go fast

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Same here. It’s visually interesting and Oldman is great but that’s it. It does kinda suck but at least it’s a film.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Except. That’s not what they have to do. That’s what they choose to do.

    They can use elements from those movies to tell somewhat different stories. Hammer did it, after all. So did Cronenberg and Carpenter, sort of.

    I can imagine a Creature From the Black Lagoon that doesn’t have to be stupid. The trip down the Amazon river alone has spooky potential.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    BLEACH! I NEED EYE BLEACH!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Gimme bleach! Put it right in my eye!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Paulus Nuns

    I really miss more “independent” movie reviews on this site, or even old forgotten gems.
    When I think of the future, I can only see guys in spandex and reboots. Not that I want to alienate you fans of superheroes, but damn…am I alone in this? Is it possible that’s not Hollywood’s fault but journalism’s fault? Like, it’s everywhere. They don’t make that many SP movies, but people are constantlly talking about them?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t know. Every independent film seems like Jeff Who Lives At Home now.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Dude, mummies are just Arab zombies. Zombies are fyucking yuge.

    Racist, much?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The writer of that wrote and directed Locke. I’m not joking.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Paulus Nuns

    And technically, Boyhood is an independent movie. But you know what I mean…Not mainstream. Not because of me being a hipster, I seriously miss it (in this site).

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Movies like Space Cop?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Goodnight everybody, and goodbye. I’m gonna be absent for awhile.

    Palpy’s in charge while I’m away.

  • We all have our bad days…

  • Paulus Nuns

    Precisely, why not! In fact I think they’ll review Bite of the Mummy at some point…and Space Cop too. That will be fun, I’m pretty sure they are making a video about people’s reactions, comments etc…maybe even Plinkett.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Jeff Who Lives At Home type is like the indie equivalent of a M.Bay movie. Bottom of the barrel. Widen your view and you’ll find great indie movies.

  • See you soon, Pa.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Jay has said at some point that HiTB was made specifically to focus on big hollywood movies.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    See you, space cowboy.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Wow. Does “at some point” mean in a pre-rec stream? I don’t recall the guys saying that, at least in HITB, please feel free to crrect me.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I thought only weirdos like me has seen this show.

  • What? That’s like one of the very few anime shows worth watching.

  • Yes, though I believe that he also mentioned that in one forum post.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Great movie too 🙂

  • Wizard Phoenix

    True I have tried to watch Naruto many time but it was so boring and dull it made me almost want to watch The Da Vinci Code.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There are great ones but like blockbusters a great many are too similar.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “There’s heroes on both sides”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yeah I think he said in a stream or on their forum.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is the Amazing Bulk an indie film?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I don’t even know if it’s worthy to be called a “film” !

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The beautiful? She’s twelve or something. You pervert.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A digitally recorded thing?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    …better

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Digitally recorded movement accompanied by sound.

  • I never bothered because I knew I’d hate it. I might be able to watch it if it had an abridged version like Dragon Ball Z.

  • Palpatine

    Put someone who isn’t a former galactic dictator in charge.

  • Todays fist fight!
    Leonardo Diarrioh got mauled by a CG bear, Josh Brolin ate cigarette butts and ash. Winner: Brolin.

    *looks into camera*
    Message…?

  • Non sequitur! Does not compute! Does not compute!

  • Domo

    Don’t pollute the world with real bears and cigarette butts.

  • Screw those. Jane got a gun is all I need 2016.

  • That’s alotta shit.

  • I don’t care if Leo freezes his testicles of while filming ‘The Indian who farted and got mauled by a bear’. Josh Brolin took one for the team and never got credit…

    He’s the real hero.

    The point actually was that both movies have a weird “what the didely” scene. One is 63% brilliant the other is deceased granny diarrhea.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BQJSvUmBJI

  • TheVerySpecialK

    If only… senator Amidala were here…

  • TheManHole

    Is everyone blind and stupid!?

  • Bear should go home to Russia. They get all hot smokin latinas and leave none to us toads.

  • Tom Cruise? Wow… I’m impressed with the level of retardation. But Cruise can pull a crowd. And did you know Mr. Phoenix, he does his own stunts. Oscars, hellooo!

    Anyway, more diarrhea. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3773814/?ref_=nm_flmg_dr_3

    Although, Emmrich has such a shitty collection of movies I find him so interesting. Maintaining an almost constant 4.7 – 5.3 on Imdb is impressive. And he still goes to work everyday, making movies.

  • NicCagesHair

    So I’m assuming near the end of these Universal Monsters reboots they will pair them up with a comedy duo and it will be the best movie of the bunch.

    I can see it now: Ice Cube and Kevin Hart Meet Frankenstein

  • RLMkeepitup

    no, they didn’t get em all cause I found one, maybe they’re just afraid to get the warts even though that’s a myth. also your hat is kinda overkill bro

  • Domo

    That’s why toads should just hook up with the bears, instead. You’d make a really cute couple!

    http://www.warrenphotographic.co.uk/photography/bigs/38256-Common-Toad-and-tiny-teddy-bear-white-background.jpg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Should I be ashamed that I like Blankman?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    no. should I?

  • I love Wesley Snipes movies. You know, because he’s a jew.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Some pile of dicks or RLM is fucking with the site. STOP IT!
    I CAN SEE YOU MOVING!

  • Palpatine

    Clever girl.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Because we are all half blind from the sun Australian eyesight is movement based.

  • Palpatine

    So if a robber breaks into your house and he stands still when he sees you, do you just ignore him then?

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    It is a known fact that when two alcoholic and loud Midwestern men fuse together, they become a humble and brilliant Southern TV writer.
    #Chemistry
    #SCIENCEBITCH

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No, we can all see in the dark… Its complicated.

  • Palpatine

    I should train you guys to run along side my motorcycle while I ride it.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    This video is so goddamn cathartic.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j556MWGVVqI

  • Palpatine

    I had to use a cathartic once. It really sucked.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    That must be why your voice sounds so strained.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    See that is a common misunderstanding. We are training you.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    That is unwatchable. there is no one in that video who should be allowed to breed.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Except for Triumph.
    He and that woman’s leg would make some great pups.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The dog was the first one shot… sorry.

  • Asda

    This review is what I like to call “generic”. They don’t really want to
    understand the game’s story, or delve too deeply into the details.
    Some reviews try to do their own spin on it, examine why certain
    elements of the game are the way they are, and find out what sets it
    apart gameplay-wise from other offerings in the genre, but this is just a
    straight, to the point, “ehhhh I don’t get it” and “duh-urr dragons and
    wizards??” review. It’s generic.

  • Tapeworm

    “Help us provide pretty men to sex-starved bears”

  • You’re right, but your comment is pretty generic.

  • I should slap you around and call you Susan.

    #theresarihannnajokesomewhereinhere

  • Earth

    I think a Mummy horror movie done straight could really work actually. A story of archaeologists desecrating a tomb then being hunted down by a Mummy spirit would be great.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    1013 comments, this is an X File!… no wait. now its 1014… I fucked it…. sorry

  • tOmy`

    Get Alive or Die Busy Tryin’?

    EDIT: Wait, that was someone else.

  • tOmy`

    It felt like they don’t know much about open world RPGs.

    This was the first one they ever reviewed, right?

  • tOmy`

    Said someone who is listening to Sia, lol.

    Wait, that’s me! Fuck.

  • tOmy`

    So, to people who saw Bridge of Spies:

    Oscar material? Or not? (Despite the obvious made-for-Oscar-nominations vibe).

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I get that reference! Watched the episode about the dude who hibernates in the wall and comes out every thirty years to eat people’s liver: good times.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Are we still trending?
    I don’t know how to use technology beyond looking up porn…

  • tOmy`

    And to people who haven’t seen Bridge of Spies:

    Look, Turkey is threatening to Europe. That reads like: “Turkey is having an annex party and everybody is invited!”

  • tOmy`

    “Trending on Red Letter Media 16 hours ago”

    I think that happened when someone (and the only one) recommended this discussion.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It was probably just a spam bot who made a mistake. Nobody would recommend this.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I second that.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Great Video!

  • AKA Mr. Wint
  • tOmy`

    It was just a drunk Mike playing a prank.

  • tOmy`

    Ohmygogohmygodohmygod the new Kanye album is out! And it has 5 out of 10 songs starting with the letter “F”. Confirmed for fuckery!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • dollar store cashier wife

    YEEZUS SEASON IS OPEN

  • tOmy`

    Just make sure to wear safety gogglies and rubbly gluves.

  • tOmy`

    #THE LIFE OF PABLO

    I guess I wasn’t the only one watching Narcos in the last weeks… hah.

  • Evil Octopus

    Pre-Rec sucks!

  • Moke

    Saw a “”classic” critic, artsy review (lots of books in the background to complete the image) and the undertone was: a typical Spielberg-ian movie stylistical but “understood he had not.” Weird how these people argue about stuff you would never think about in a RLM review. Makes me wondering how important these “art things” are. For a normal person just watching a movie and if Mike and Jay should talking about that stuff, too.

  • tOmy`

    To be completely honest, I know jack shit about artsy stuff in this particular medium. Then again, I am not the kinda cheerleader to say “I understand arthouse, because I saw Drive. Twice.”

    Then again, I have to say: There were couple of moments when I said to myself: “Damn, that was a good shot.” Some of the visuals / lighting was… well, let’s say “on par” with what would you expect in a movie like this. So I can’t exactly talk about disappointment in that department.

    What I think shines the most in this movie is character interaction, some playful lines and generally easily understandable, yet rather convoluted plot.

  • Moke

    They are amateurs. Nothing against Rich and Jack but its oblivious. They probably even read other reviews beforehand to be on the safe side and we get the summary of that. That means they’re judging the games before they even have touched them. And that’s where the problems origins.

  • tOmy`

    Deadpool found its proper place on Metacritic: Above Zoolander 2 and below Kung Fu Panda 3.

    #FOX4LIFE

  • It’s not that easy. It never is with bears. You did see what happened to Leo when he tried to pick up bears.

  • Red Skeleton

    So the full Top Gear line up has been released.

    http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2016/feb/11/chris-evans-confirms-top-gear-full-presenting-lineup

    We’ve got Token Woman, Token Black Guy, Token Old Guy… hm, I’m disappointed there’s no Token Guy-In-A-Wheelchair.

    Wait, did I say disappointed? I mean OFFENDED! FIRE CHRIS EVANS!!!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Isn’t Zoolander 1 like a cult comedy at this point? Z2 reminds me of Anchorman 2-a sequel nobody asked for.

  • tOmy`

    You gonna love this: NME runs with “So which Pablo is he referring to?”

    The most liked comment? “Pablo Honey.”

  • Michael Collins

    Still no new content?
    This is like what happened to myspace.

  • Bridge of Spies was surprisingly decent. I was fearing lethal doses of Speilberg schmaltz but there were only a couple scenes that made me roll my eyes. It stars Tom “The Nicest Guy in Hollywood” Hanks who is like a latter-day Jimmy Stewart but with a small dose of cynicism and and endless supply of sterling professionalism (American working-class Everyman, RIP). Hanks does a fine job as a mirror for the viewer, I believe. Through him the viewer is taken for a ride through the world of Cold War diplomacy.
    I really enjoyed watching Mark Rylance as the serene Rudolf Abel. Considered as historical drama, I appreciate a Hollywood film that portrays the Eastern Bloc with more subtlety than the often-imagined ‘Moscow monolith’.
    Oscar worthy? Well, who knows. The Oscars are given for the best work from the previous 12 months – not necessarily for the latest entry in the Book of Great Films. So maybe? It’s definitely the kind of film the Academy of Motion Pictures typically loves: slick Hollywood professionalism, predictable, simplified/simplistic history, pro-America, Tom Hanks.
    My review: I didn’t hate it and I was genuinely impressed at points. A good movie.

  • Michael Collins

    Is it anywhere near as good as The Spy Who Came In From The Cold?

  • No, but I’m a fan of espionage films, so I might be biased. Bridge of Spies has more emotional beats, as you would expect from Spielberg.
    Speaking of John le Carre, I recommend the BBC miniseries Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. Far superior to the movie version that was made a few years ago.

  • Michael Collins

    I love that show, and Smileys’s People that came after

    Shame we can’t have nice things like that more often.

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely agree. I would love to hate the ending (the train ride home, the TV announcement), but as I said somewhere below, at least I had a good laugh and came out of it with a smile on my face. Not exactly planned by Steve, I guess, but hey.

    I’d still love to see more from the first two trials, tho. And more of Abel / Hanks dialogues.

    One more surprise on top of it all: Jokes made me giggle. That’s always nice.

  • tOmy`

    I wouldn’t necessarily call it “espionage” film”, although I don’t think there is a “diplomacy drama” genre.

  • if RLM breaks up and sue each other over who owns the studio including the name, “Red Letter Media”, which members would be Gilmore, Mason, and Wright and who would be the sulking, bitchy but more talented Roger Waters?

  • Like Icare

    That’s racist!

  • Like Icare

    No.

  • Like Icare

    Far FAR superior.

    Plus there’s a sequel.

  • Like Icare

    No.
    Same as how Will Ferrell is not Ben Stiller/Owen Wilson.

  • Like Icare

    I find it to be crap.
    Not sure if that precludes it from being Oscar-worthy.

  • Tim Hendrix

    Emulsion? i don’t know that words

  • tOmy`

    Here is your latest (and final) trailer for the Day The Fanboys Stood Stu- I mean Day of The Dawn of Th- I mean Superman vs. Batman: The Yawn of the Justice:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cle_rKBpZ28

    I still don’t get the car part. It doesn’t make any sense.

  • tOmy`

    #gottagofast?

    Didn’t you listen to Rich and Jack? Sonic was clearly meant to be played slowly.

  • Like Icare

    Scary is not really a prerequisite. Just because it’s about scary creatures, doesn’t mean it has to be scary.
    Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is about serial killer cultists who rip people’s hearts out… but it isn’t a scary movie.

    As for the mummy… it DID have a fun adventure feel.
    I never like the franchise… but it WAS a fun adventure.
    Dare I say, reminiscent of Indiana Jones movies. If Indiana Jones was Han Solo.

  • Like Icare

    I look at that trailer and I start to see things I recognize… from Watchmen. Only with less cranking and slow-mo.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA0SarFs60w

    And these hackfrauds say Snyder has no personal style or signature.

  • Like Icare

    It has something to do with eggs.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7hApnTwqfY

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It felt like watching the SuckerPunch trailer.

    Why bother hiding Doomsday in this one?

  • Like Icare

    Too early for Brainiac or Darkseid?

  • Inherent Vice. Wow, interresting film making. I did not enjoy it when I first saw it. And was not in a mood to see an abstract, plotless hippie movie. Well, the plot was easy enough to get and it was problably the least important thing in the movie. Damn nice to see it again. It’s film making. It’s crafting, not calculating. I’m happy again.

    Also, I got a no-watch list for this year and it helps immensely. It’s gonna be great.

  • tOmy`

    Going to do that one during weekend. Looking forward to it.

  • tOmy`

    Don’t don’t about movie I do do.

    You… dodo.

  • NicCagesHair

    It’s also a very good representation of what Pynchon’s books are like to read. They go all over the place but in a good way.

  • NicCagesHair

    I’m stunned he hasn’t started naming every album of his “Kanye West’s Greatest Album”

  • tOmy`
  • Hank_Henshaw

    Darkseid is going to be so meh. I mean, the parademons they have in the movie’s nightmare sequence are the most un-Kirby-esque design imaginable.

  • NicCagesHair

    I’m calling it, his next album will be North by North West which he will declare the cleverest title of all time.

  • Cool! I have a hard time reading books. I read alot of material for research but it’s just facts. So I think I have only read 5-6 realbooks the last 4 years. I wish I could read more but that would be just exausting for the moment.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    They may just be Forager’s bug tribe, but I’m sure you are right and those are awful looking parademons.

    This movie looks very dense…

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I had hopped after the first Brandon Routh one, the crystals Luthor used would release Brainiac and we have a normal and fun Superman sequel.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    This fucking trailer starts like a Batman Arkham Asylum game. The fight scene is straight out of one of them. I want to edit to have the UI and Combos pop up on screen. Cause that’s what the kids love these days.

  • You know? I’m fine with that…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s most Batman-y Batman has ever Batman on Batman.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s called The Arkham City style.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Ehhhhh, I disagree with that statement. His books are fun to read. Most of Gravity’s Rainbow is complete nonsense, farcical/ridiculous humor with some of the best prose in English literature, ever. Overall his books are farcically fun with a tinge of sadness. Inherent Vice, I thought, was a big turd. Not fun, characters are dull (Expect Big Foot), voice over is all wrong, doesn’t capture LA the way captures it in the book, etc. The book is basically the Big Lebowski but with more paranoia. He’s remade There Will Be Blood twice now; time to move on. Although I respect your opinion if you feel that way.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Bah. Paul Thomas Anderson is basically dead to me now.

  • Snake Squeezer

    We all now the X-Men are the reason the bay of pigs happened, and was averted.

  • Like Icare

    I doubt that any of that will prove to be cannon.
    It’s probably just a tease for the fans.

    As for Kirby… Kirby is problematic today for the very same reasons he was revolutionary back when.
    Ancient alien gods are a joke today.

    Note how Avengers completely ignore the issue of ancient gods roaming the Earth and any effect something like that might have on EVERYTHING!
    Hello! Not only are there aliens – there is a GOD, Virginia.
    And he ain’t Jesus nor does he speak Arabic and he sure as fuck ain’t from a Hindu pantheon – but all those white power supremacists were actually right about something.

    Nope. We don’t want to go there.

    Tricky territory to navigate without coming off as a zealot or a loon or both.
    And boy oh boy do you not want to anger all those various flavors of religious fanatics out there by addressing THAT elephant in the room.
    And his hammer.

  • Like Icare

    Watchmen came out in March ’09.
    Arkham Asylum came out in August ’09.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’ll give it that much. Except when Ben Affleck talks it ruins the illusion.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    They are covering their backs with going the “nightmare sequence” route. That allows them to redesign the parademons if needed be, but I doubt it. The all-black, sleek insectoids, probably are more “cinema friendly” than monsters in green/yellow uniforms.

    I just lament they wont have Darkseid in his miniskirt and thigh high boots. You have to be a real badass to pull that look and still be menacing.

  • TheManHole

    Science bitches! Today it was announced that gravitational waves have been detected for the first time as predicted by Einstein.

    http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2016/02/gravitational-waves-einstein-s-ripples-spacetime-spotted-first-time

    And to think people still think the world is flat…

  • Like Icare

    Dodo is a dead bird.

    I’m just pining for fjords.

  • Snake Squeezer

    It’s the waves that made me overweight!

  • TheManHole

    No that was all the snakes you have been eating.

  • Snake Squeezer

    So, everybody’s aware Breaking Bad is coming back, right?

  • Snake Squeezer

    All I do is rub them! For their pleasure! I swear!

  • What? Why?

  • TheManHole

    Wait how? The story is over what more is there to bring back? Have a prequel where we follow the life of a high school chemistry teacher for 20 years?

  • Snake Squeezer
  • Snake Squeezer

    Walter didn’t really die, he wakes up chained to a hospital bed and then goes to prison. Eventually, he breaks out of prison. That’s all I know.

  • TheManHole

    “This isn’t a cash-grab” It’s good they stated this or I would have thought this was a cash grab…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It took me 10 seconds on google to confirm it was a hoax.

  • TheManHole

    Here is hopping this is the season I didn’t know I wanted and not just a season I don’t want. It’s rare we see a show that “ended” come back with a new season. I mean why not when you have such a strong established audience and I guess it’s better then them doing a movie.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    pack it up buddy. it’s a hoax.

  • Like Icare

    Oh, that’s a given. Old shiny uniforms and costumes are out.

    Times changed, world has moved on, universe got rewritten…
    https://html1-f.scribdassets.com/43g0qhrygw4h9rhq/images/10-62b0fd4809.jpg
    https://html2-f.scribdassets.com/43g0qhrygw4h9rhq/images/11-95cbb16b9b.jpg

  • Like Icare

    Maybe it’s a crab? A gash crab?

  • TheManHole

    Is it? Well I am sort of relieved really. I was starting to wonder when I could not find anything posted to Reddit about it.

  • Like Icare
  • Palpatine

    That’s a hoax.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jessi worked on Batman v Superman
    http://i.imgur.com/LT7ffin.jpg

  • TheManHole

    So that’s why she has not been seen on any RLM content?! Because she left Mike to run off with Zack Snyder?!?!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hence Fart Street.

  • TheManHole

    Mystery solved. Now everyone can stop asking.

  • NicCagesHair

    Yeah it’s called Better Call Saul, I think season 2 starts next week.

  • Tapeworm

    As was announced today, a gigantic scientific effort and hundred years of questioning, measurements and technological progress has finally led the brightest researchers to conclude what Einstein predicted so long ago – it’s cool to marry your cousin if you’re famous.

  • Like Icare

    I thought that was Jerry Lee Lewis…

  • Tapeworm

    Well, there the fact that she was his cousin was one of the less creepy facts.

  • TheManHole

    I once had one of my friends from the USA ask me what we think of marring your cousin. Is this something people do often I don’t get it.

  • Tapeworm

    Well Albi did it. Not common in here, because , you know, eww.

  • My life still sucks, what the hell is wrong with scientists?

  • Red Skeleton

    My first reaction was “seriously? SERIOUSLY?”. But the creator SAYS he’s got a really good idea, and he did amazing stuff with seasons 4 and 5, so….

    But God, on paper this sounds terrible. What are they going to do next, bring back The X-Files?

  • Tapeworm

    From now we know that if you ever feel the good vibes, it’s probably just gravitational waves

  • That’s a nasty gash…

  • Red Skeleton

    Whelp…. I saw Space Cop…..

    …. Sigh…..

  • That bad, huh?

  • It’s a hoax, fortunately.

  • Red Skeleton

    It was pretty much what I was expecting…. it was The Great Space Jam for 90 minutes, except that only thing that got violated was my soul… and possibly my wallet.

  • TheManHole

    How does it go if the grass is greener on the other side marry your cousin?

  • Red Skeleton

    More constructively, the best parts were the scenes that involved other actors. Mike and Space-Cop are basically one-joke characters, There were a few legitimate laughs but they were few and far between. There was a pretty decent shout-out to one of their other works (at least) and that was pretty satisfying. Overall I can’t see it appealing to anyone who isn’t an RLM fan. It’s no Kung Fury, in other words.

  • That’s a hell of an experience for 21$. Some people have to go to war to lose their souls.

  • Tapeworm

    I think it’s: “When in Rome, inbreed, inbreed like a motherfucker”

  • Red Skeleton

    The editing was pretty good. The villains were actually fairly tragic in retrospect, which suggests to me they were taken from an episode of Star Trek. Anyone able to confirm that?

  • Tapeworm

    In what sense was the editing good? I’m not having a go, I am genuienly curious, since lot of people expressed the sentiment that everything is dragged out too much. I’m also stll excited for the movie, but as you said, because I like RLM.

  • Red Skeleton

    There were a few bits at the beginning that felt a little dragged out but the rest of the movie seemed, I dunno, adequately paced. They resisted the temptation to drag unfunny scenes out TOO long…. but instead replaced them with more unfunny scenes.

    Maybe I should have said the editing was competent…

  • TheManHole

    All this negativity about space cop. At this rate I’m never going to buy it.

  • Red Skeleton

    I do not regret supporting their endeavor, I just thought…. HOPED it would have been better. At least I hoped it would have appealed to NON RLM fans.

  • TheManHole

    If I wanted to support them I would use the donate button found at the top of the screen no reason to watch a bad movie and pay them all my canuckaroo’s.

  • Palpatine

    So that’s what E=MC2 meant!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Australia just proved gravitational waves exist. you’re welcome.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Wasn’t e-mc2 a government secret?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    We did it. I’m watching the CSIRO press conference live.

  • Yeah, maybe, but you just sat on your ass as usual!

  • Palpatine

    And it only took 100 years! Thanks Catholic Church!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh my goodness Zoolander 2 sucks. I didn’t see that coming at all.

  • Kanye West set out to conquer another form of media. This is, reportedly, a screenshot from his upcoming game. And by his, I mean the people he’s paying to make it because he sure as shit didn’t write a line of the programming.
    http://i.imgur.com/aXaxtAK.png

  • Ogrot

    There were a lot of Star Trek villains that went back in time, but I can’t think of one that went back for anything other than malevolent reasons. It was usually to a. stop mankind from developing warp travel or surviving or b. feed off of a less advanced human civilization that has no method of detecting or fighting you.

    As far as Space Cop goes, I think folks are disappointed by unrealistic expectations. From the shorts they made I got the impression that the Space Cop project was more of a way for the guys and gals to get better at practical effects, cgi effects, set design, and working with real actors. The script ergo was likely more of an afterthought. A silly premise to put jokes around. And that’s how it sort of went aside from being a shining example of Stoklasa’s love of structure. In comparison to their previous films it’s a huge step up and I think they came out of the whole thing learning and knowing more about their craft than when they went in.

    All that aside, yeah, Stoklasa. Stoklasa should have handed the role to someone. I think Rich was fine as Space Cop. As far as crossover appeal I showed it to a few friends who are generally oblivious but watch terrible movies with me and they had some laughs. I wouldn’t call it a narrow niche movie for RLM fans only. It’s just, a kind of mediocre low budget comedy. Which again makes it miles better than their previous endeavors.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • *****the sarcasm meter is off the charts!!!*****

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Even if you will not Deadpool it will destroy it at the box office. Let’s hope it happens.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    But there’s already a game made about Kanye:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYG8almTvJo

  • This one is about his mother and how she entered heaven.

  • It might be tricky, Stiller is still a bigger name and Deadpool is R rated.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Zoolander was a cult favorite, not an audience favorite. You release that kinda sequel one decade later it will make no money.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why do we get Zoolander 2 and not a sequel to Tropic Thunder? That makes much more sense.

  • HOLY SHIT, THERE’S A TRAILER OUT
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXU78LY6690

  • Palpatine

    All those fake trailers from Tropic Thunder need to be made.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Would you drink Booty Sweat?

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Life doesn’t make sense.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    All those fake trailers from Funny People, coincidently, has already been made…

  • Jessi would love “The Fatties” but I’m not sure we need another “The Klumps” movie.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    GOTY 2016-IGN

  • Like Icare

    When one fails in that game, does his mom end up in hell?

  • ?? Wu wu wua wuat wuat ??

  • Where’s my gun? Where’s my passport? Can I crash at your place for a few days? There’s something I need to do.

  • Jerry Stiller wanted to squeeze some tuschy! Jejeje. That dirty jew! Love him!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’ll donate money for you trip. do you have a Kickstarter?

  • Kill all hiumans makes alot of sense right now.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I never thought the original was that funny to begin with. Was it really funny?

  • Mama, I just killed Kanye.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    What did they do?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They killed Marilyn Monroe to stop Einstein from creating the perfect breast.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Oh man… Curse them!

    But seriously, I think they get a pretty bad reputation. Unfairly. Specially when compared to other cultures at their early timeline.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I am catholic(Lapsed). fuck us we ARE evil.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Me too. Also lapsed. But comparing them to morden brazilian evangelical protestants… I want Catholicism to be popular again! More vocal chants, no more pop rock pseudo religious songs.

    Also, they tend to scream a lot and to post a lot on facebook pages.

  • Gravitational waves? You fools, that can’t stop the power of the ninja.

    Have at you, kangaroo humping kowalees!

    http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/032011/ninja-fat.gif

  • Palpatine

    They were mean to Galileo!

  • RLMkeepitup

    zoolander 2 sounds like one of the trailer titles

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Amen.

  • RLMkeepitup

    what the

  • Asda

    Thinking Kung Fury wasn’t a steaming pile of shit makes it really easy for me to instantly disregard all your other opinions.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    If this prevented or stalled the release of another Night at the Museum movie then it was worth it.

  • TheManHole

    If there was ever a squeal worthy of Electric Boogaloo I think it’s Zoolander 2.

  • We’re approaching the three week mark since TweedleFee and TweedleRum reviewed The Never-rent: The Legend of Hugh Jass.
    There better be something posted this weekend – these asshats can’t possible have Valentine’s Day plans.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Fuck You, It’s January Valentine’s Day!

  • Snake Squeezer

    It sucks because he’s probably the most natural talented director of all time. To think he made Boogie Nights as second movie — wow. And then he topped it with Magnolia. But ever since then, it just feels like he really doesn’t care or try anymore.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Cuz they can’t afford Robert Downey Jr.

  • fred

    “From First to Last” is a great paperback which contains three perfect Punisher stories.

  • fred

    You watched it?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Mike’s entrance shot in SC is so friggin adorable!… It’s like I’m falling in love with him all over again… #NoHomo

  • Snake Squeezer

    It was the name of a pretty good porno I saw once, too.

  • Snake Squeezer

    RLM is a hoax.

  • The content is a lie.

  • E stands for EVIL.

  • Do you use rubber when you rub he… I mean them?

  • Snake Squeezer

    This isn’t a music forum. However, tOmy does tend to get her way… So…

    I listened to the ‘live rip’ of Kanye’s Life of Pablo. Not sure how how much what I heard will sound the final release. It almost seems as if Kanye played his songs live through speakers and somebody recorded this with a cell phone or something.

    That said, this could be one of the best albums of the year, and a true return to form for Kanye.

    The first track is highly religious and had me thinking this was going to be Kanye’s first gospel album. In fact the christian god theme plays out frequently here, which personally is disappointing to me. But what follows is brilliant and true hip hop. So much better than 808’s and heartbreak. Tracks like “Freestyle 4” (sounds like a working title, right?) and “Feed Back” bring the heavy rhythm of the best hip hop I love to my ears.

    I’m glad I’m still listening. Even though Yeezus is still a douche. That’s fine. There are a lot of asshole artists whose work I like, like Rich Evans.

  • Yeezus Krist, I can’t wait for another Kanye mania… I think I really hate popular culture.

  • KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHN!!!!!
    YE!

  • What’s wrong with your face insty? You seem really blue.

  • I’m all out of Perri-Air.

  • Domo

    Mel Brooks has some Perri Air. Top right drawer.

    Thank goodness it doesn’t have a security code. Would be impossible to figure out.

  • Moke

    defacto they were mean to him because he made an unlucky analogy about the pope in his book. But nobody could laugh about the joke.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I need to change the combination on my luggage.

  • Domo

    Just buy this instead. Only little girls will want to steal this luggage from you. And they’re easy to take down.

    http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0251/3649/products/D-HSRL-SP-P06-13FA-Princess-2_1024x1024.jpg?v=1385566033

  • E pur si muove

  • Moke

    I’m thrilled about science like everybody else but I don’t see the benefit we get from such discoveries. The same goes for gas planets 100 lightyears far from us or a theoretical 9th planet. I mean it is not bad but if you already go crazy about such things I fear you will jump from the roofs if we have first contact. With a little alien fish.

  • Moke

    yes he tried to prove that, but that was not the reason he had to die. No catholic but a fan of historic accuracy.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You have no idea! the small human is strong. and the power of pink is unstoppable.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I really dont know why I’m watching it but fuck The Hobbit: Desecration of Tolkien is a shit movie.
    Other than the massive liberties taken with the story its just a shit movie.
    MAKE FUCKING SENSE!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Watching that one in theatre gave me a headache of boredom,anger and confusion. And The Battle of The Five Armies made me want to stop taking my heart medicine.

  • Domo

    You can’t take heart medicine when you’re a ghost.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its making me want heart medicine. or more booze.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Ghosts can’t write on no webzones either…

    PLOTHOLE!!!!1! DSCW IS A FUCKING HACK FRAUD!

  • Five Armies is on par with the prequels. Fuck you, Jackson!

  • Ooooh, are you haunting this webzone? Wait, rethorical question!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Pretty much.

  • Moke

    The LotR movies were not perfect either. I think a lots of what is wrong with the Hobbit already has its root in the Ring Trilogy. Remember Legolas surfing on a shield in the battle of Helms Deep?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have been screaming about leggolassy surfing shit. spiders orch the edge of believability.

  • Domo

    I think Peter Jackson looked too much into what fans liked and then went overboard. Add to it a desire to take a children’s book, convert it into a 10 hour movie that kids won’t want to watch, and blend in studio exec’s desires, and you’ve got quite a mess.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    LotR is starwars.
    1 is great but kinda slow for some.
    2 is great.
    3 let its special fx pretend to be story but is good.
    And the prequels suck.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “Enemies of the State.”…. sigh. *Fade to black, gunshot.

  • You’re just like that ghost from “It follows you on instagram“… no wait “Unfriended”.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “I’ll make your forward button on gmail disappear!” BOOOOOOO!

    #scary ghost stuff

  • Red Skeleton

    I haven’t actually seen it. I just heard it getting love here so I assumed the comparison would work.

  • Yeah, I can see that. Though I think LotR outshines Star Wars for me nowadays. I don’t care for the OT anymore, but gimme LotR any day.

  • #knowyourmeme

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m still down for the OG OT. But the CGI can GtFO!

  • Maybe I’m just sick of the SW overexposure.

  • Yes. I found my Mike clapping gif there and one of Wizard’s RedLetterStory posters there.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVA63k_DPNg

    #pandering

    #To the windowwwwwww, to the walllllllll!

  • Did you get a nice paycheck for this post?

  • Good luck using the wheel with these shitty physics.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m so fucking hard right now. but still NEEDS more nissans.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I wish.

  • TheManHole

    At least it can’t be worst then space cop.

  • “We’re never gonna beat Space Cop. Nothing can.”

  • TheManHole

    We all already knew that!!!

  • OH, so THAT’S where the clapping Shia Labeouf gif comes from… Man, I need to brush up n my mehmeh’s. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0u4M6vppCI

  • He can’t tell you. He signed an NDA.

  • NicCagesHair

    Yep and the clapping is a reference to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IpPPDYWexE

  • This, I knew.

  • Maybe you should start playing meme-ory.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    1,500? Anyone?

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Those graphics be cray cray!!!

  • NicCagesHair

    When I think of the music to go with a racing game I think of one of the greatest dirty-sex raps of all time. I hope the next trailer is set to nothing but 2 Live Crew.

  • You’re on.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Top? Gross, gross, I know…

  • ♫ Shut up bichh while I drive my car
    Slap my bichh while I drive my car♫

    ♫ Domestic violence in my car
    Bustin caps while I drive my car ♫

    ♫ Smokin dope in my car
    Oh puff puff pff
    While my kids see it all
    Oh ye ye ye ♫

    -BASED ON ACTUAL EVENTS-

  • TheManHole

    I’d pre-order that for a dollar.

  • Is that from Chris Brown’s new EP?

  • OK, but you’re buying me dinner afterwards.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    better question, do EPs still exist?

  • Yes.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    By dinner, I hope you mean what I can get with foodstamps…

  • TheManHole

    Shame shame you should know always get paid for the deed first!

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    I understand they’re still around.

    Just thought that nowdays they were just releasing random songs on Youtube.

  • I’m a millionaire, I literally swim in money. This is purely for the experience.

  • ♫ Yo, it’s Snoop dog careless lifestyle
    Hollywood sellout cameo prostitute comin at’ya♫

    ♫ The more dope and cheap ass you score
    The more street creds you get ma ♫

    ♫ And the harder you can slap your skanky bitch
    in front of your kids the better it feels ♫

    ♫ That’s what I learn and that’s what you get
    Ye ye yo yo aa aa aa ♫

    ♫ Gimme an ESS n’a ELL n’a AAA n’a PEE
    Slap that bitch so your kids can hear it ♫

    ♫ Domezz Violess Izah Whereaz I A ♫

    ♫ BOOOM ♫

  • That’s true but you won’t get coverage unless you have a legitimate print.

  • Every rappa 2016 ma’. I wish for concentration camps 4 allz of em. From Crackwhore Snoops Dogs to Kim Jong 50 Cents.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    I see.

    And I mentioned that like as something in general. Like big pop artists releasing a music project and not only single tracks. Not mentioning all artists in general. But how’s your project, mate?

  • We’re finally done with the vocals and we did some final touches on the keyboards and electronics for the last track. Now it’s all up to the producer but we probably won’t afford a physical release when he’s done.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Why do you seek the lowly services of such an unwashed, diminutive victim of job-alternative deprivation?

  • I want to experience how the 99% feels.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Will there be a FLAC digital download release?

  • Definitely, it’ll be up on our bandcamp.

  • tOmy`

    That whole trailer looks like someone screaming:

    “Look! Look what’s all in the game! Love us! Love us again, please!”

  • tOmy`

    I can’t wait to hear it.

  • tOmy`

    So according to my news feed, Kanye’s album dropped so hard it caused gravitational waves.

  • It also made his mother ascend to heaven.

  • I Shot J.R

    *shakes ass violently*

  • tOmy`

    And here we go…

    “Taylor Swift is not OK with that line about her on Kanye West’s new album.”

    This will never end, will it?

  • TheManHole

    Just fuck already!

  • tOmy`

    You know, just by looking at the camera, I can already say how much I fucking hate that sea-sickening, flowy-swipy, Mario-Karty sliding.

  • tOmy`

    Tay’s brother responded accordingly: http://www.nme.com/news/taylor-swift/91447

  • Palpatine

    Don’t tempt me!

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Real World: I Trump You

  • I love how the manual transmission is a feature now.

  • Just doing your job, oh humble emeror.

  • tOmy`
  • tOmy`

    Speaking of Kanye: Seeing that Sonic will get a movie, I am now fairly confident on who should be the new villain in Fast & Furious 9.

  • NicCagesHair

    Only if Taylor joins the family.

  • The best thing about the movie is that it’s going to have live action actors too. I can already smell the money burning.

  • tOmy`

    Something Fast & Furious never done! You see, the crossover would be perfect!

  • tOmy`

    A little update: The album should be out today and will feature 17 tracks.

  • Like Icare

    Actually… I was kinda confused seeing all the “features” like unlocked framerate and “you can plug in a steering wheel”.

    For a moment I thought it was the ’90s or something and that the game will come on several boxes of 1.44 floppies… but that was just a flashback. Good thing I don’t do drugs, or I probably couldn’t find my way to the toilet in the morning.

    Then I saw in the comments that this was already out for the consoles and this was like… “Hey… console people… wanna buy this game again? give us more money? You can plug in a broom-broom that goes wroom-wroom and then you can pay more to get an extra skin for your imaginary car! WHAT A VALUE!!!”

  • TheManHole

    They did a cross over with the transporter last movie what you talking about!?!

  • Like Icare

    Some day, same will be told of the penis. Mark my words.

  • tOmy`

    I was hoping for it, but no. Statham plays different character.

  • Like Icare

    I’ve never seen the third movie. Can’t.
    It takes about 15 minutes for me to get annoyed by all the retarded changes he made and I have to give up.

    I used to be a HUGE fan of Tolkien.
    And though I’ve grown out of it, changes Jackson made for no logical reason are still grating and retarded and utterly irritating to me.
    #worseThanThePrequels

  • tOmy`

    The unlocked framerate is kinda important:

    https://youtu.be/eDA37BmvNwM?t=5m43s

    (Whole video is kinda great)

  • tOmy`

    The thing about the shield surfing is:
    1) It’s only like three seconds
    2) It’s still within the realms of possibility

    While I absolutely agree on what you said, it is still absolutely minor complaint. It’s not the whole goddamn movie like Hobbit.

  • When it comes to sex – it’s obsolete now. Nobody can compete with Sybian.

  • What are you talking about? Statham always plays Statham.

  • tOmy`

    Guy Ritchie begs to differ: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heiyM61dfio

  • Palpatine

    They’re making a Sonic the Hedgehog movie?!

  • Tapeworm

    Yeah I do, that’s why it’s in there.

  • Sega thought it’s a good idea because Sonic is, apparently at the peak of his popularity.

  • tOmy`

    Sega confirmed for Pre-Rec fans!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The music to promote the NFS games has changed a lot since the 90s.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Hey, guys! Good News! Transformers movies will, from now on, be annual events!!! Starting in 2017.

  • tOmy`

    I thought they said they are finished with that crap. Bay wanted to start making small, thought-provoking indie dramas he always dreamed of. You know, for him and his friends.

    Like Black Sails: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6P1cQMdFXA

  • fun movie for a nihilistic neo-noir. It even has a two(?) days from retirement tragedy!

  • Tapeworm

    Has anyone in here watched one beyond the first one?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    FREE CONTENT UPDATES*

    *subject to change.

  • tOmy`

    Well, they did say the footage is only “representative”.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Not me. I only watched the first one, crumbled to peer pressure because “the visual effects are totally worth it”. It was almost unbearable. Never bothered with the sequels, which are supposed to be worse. Somehow.

  • TheManHole

    This pretty much sums up my feelings towards this announcement. Is it time for death?

  • It’s always time for death.

  • Tapeworm

    I know I’ve seen the first one around the time it came out (not in cinema, hint). I understand all the hatred, I just find it hard to care at all. Someone tell China it sucks and we won’t hear about it anymore.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Or Pain and Gain. That movie is soooooooooooo great. It has a message.

  • TheManHole

    The most disturbing thing about that clip is Jack with hair.

  • I’ve seen the fourth one and a bit of the first one. At least the fourth one didn’t have Shia Labeouf. It was loud, obnoxious and stupid. Same with Ninja Turtles.

  • Like Icare

    It’s more than that.

    That shit was beyond a committee hack job.
    That was a fucking post-war treaty conference.

    With money grabs and political games both of the movie and of actual political kind.
    Where New Zealand government changed labor laws (reversing laws that allowed forming of some film-workers labor unions) and got literally extorted for tax breaks by a foreign corporation, while movie changed directors as MGM faced bankruptcy, then the got extended to three movies on the fly (thus dumping work already done by del Toro ) without a clear idea with what to pad it out as they could only use LOTR elements (having no rights to Silmarillion), new and untested technology…
    At one point Jackson decided to give Andy Serkis to direct the battle scenes of the battle of five armies… without an actual script or idea for it. You go Andy… You can do it… you’re a mime. Just mime your way out of it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQkygZdZ_Vk

  • Red Skeleton

    The crazy thing is, the Sonic universe would be more appropriate for the Blade Runner distopia treatment than The Mario Bros universe… I wouldn’t mind seeing that, actually.

  • The Hobbit: The Defecation of Maude

  • TheManHole

    I have seen all of them and if that was not bad enough all of them minus number three where seen in the theater. I remember taking my friend to see the 4th one and he ranted and bitched for easily 40min about how dumb the movie was and how pissed off he was to sit through it. I will never forget when he dropped me off at home and I asked him if he was going to see the next one they make to which he just looked and me and said “Well of course”.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Oh, no. Not in theaters. I saw it at a buddy’s place had had just bought it on Blu-ray, and I didn’t have a BR player at the time.

    The only way I’d go watch a Michael Bay movie in theather is in a trenchcoat, a hat, and one of those novelty masks with the eyeglasses and the Groucho mustache.

  • tOmy`

    So. have anyone tried that Witness game? I am about to give it a go.

  • Palpatine

    No no no no!!!

  • Walking simulators are so 2012.

  • Tapeworm

    Do people do amish jokes about it? If not, you lost me.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I already had my fill of Jonathan Blow’s pretentiousness when I played Braid.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    saw the entire trilogy. lost some brains cell along the way.

  • Palpatine

    Hmm, let me look in my big joke book.

  • It’s proven to work similarly to Joker’s nerve gas.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Rfup0XKx7o

    Only Resident Evil: Afterlife is more potent.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPUPaxgIo98

  • Like Icare

    They said the same about Titanic.

  • Red Skeleton

    So! I watched Space Cop with commentary and I have to say I’m feeling a lot better about the film. The things I thought were weak are still weak (the script, the non-characters of Space Cop and Mike) but I’ve found a lot more to appreciate. As I said yesterday the best parts of the film were the scenes that involved OTHER actors… well it turns out there’s a good reason for that. Apparently A LOT of the delay in production was due to them wanting to find just the right actors for their bit parts, in order to avoid “getting your neighbor to do the bit-part” syndrome…. and they succeeded. In fact I have to say the casting in the film is really, really good.

    They also talk about how the script got rewritten as the demands of low-budget filmmaking…. demanded, and Mike and Rich touch upon the paradox of Space Cop being both the straight man and the wacky character, or rather how he should be the wacky cop but he can’t be because, well, he’s Space Cop.

    Also they pointed out the shout-outs to Half in the Bag (courtesy of Colin from Canada, apparently). The genuine shout outs, anyway. I don’t count re-using props as shout-outs… well except maybe the Reagan photo.

  • Red Skeleton

    In fact, the scenes with other actors have a certain quality to them that’s lacking from the scenes with just Mike and Rich… apparently there’s good reason for that too. Jay was feeling really shitty about the production (due to not being able to find good actors) so he just started filming the scenes with only Mike and Jay while he was in a bad frame of mind. (I’m inferring this, for the record.) I can’t put it in words but the scenes with only Mike and Rich just, well, look kinda shit.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    btw I have no idea how you can rewatch The Wire yearly. So many scenes add up to nothing. Showing Mcnulty has problems with his wife and kids for the 891th is not character development. Also fuck Ziggy holy fucking shit. One of the most obnoxious characters in TV history.

  • Like Icare

    It’s not “important”.
    It’s closer to… the way that the bottom of a spoon and a handle of a spoon are needed for a spoon to be a spoon.

    Something like “necessary and expected features” which if disabled make the spoon a broken spoon. A non-spoon.
    Regardless if there is a “hack” that allows you to 3D print a silicone bottom or a plastic handle and attach it to your non-spoon.

  • *Jehova?

  • tOmy`

    “So many scenes add up to nothing.” World-building, baby.

  • Like Icare

    Kanye’s dead mom? Being how she is now a video game character – like Sonic?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I sure hope it gets better. Season 2 is just such a massive stepdown from season 1 like hooooly shitt.

  • Just like real life.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s stylistically designed to be that way…so that fanbois can say it’s the greatest show ever made. cuz it’s like real lyfe yo!
    #so real #so deep #so art

  • Palpatine

    I thought Jay was the best actor in the movie.

  • Tapeworm

    Told ya. Season 3 and 4 is where it’s at (I rewatch those and parts of 1. 5 is a special case to debate when you get to it)

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I like Gary Numan’s new direction!

  • tOmy`

    Breaking Bad is better because it had explosions in it.

  • Tapeworm

    As we’ve learned, people just like shows with meth in it.

  • tOmy`

    The Wire’s heroin was one step too far.

  • Tapeworm

    Did you ever try to watch Treme? I actually really liked the 8 episodes I saw from the first season, but then (not due to a lack of interest) I stopped watching and never re-started.

  • tOmy`

    Nope, never. I honestly forgot that show even exists.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Watching drying paint is more compelling then the family drama of Frank Sobotka.

    #sodomize Ziggy #for the greater good

  • Tapeworm

    Goodman and Peters (Lester from The Wire) were pretty damn great on it. I oughta start watching it again.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, S2 really doesn’t live up to the hype of “Any port in a storm” saying.

  • Tapeworm

    I find it hard to disagree, although Frank himself is not that bad in my eyes. The Greek and all the stuff around him are from a completely different show too.

  • tOmy`

    The “problem” with S2 is quite simple in my eyes: For a show based on “every piece matter”, S2 really doesn’t matter that much.

    Or at least the port related stuff. So that’s how you get drugs to Baltimore, huh? Could have just told us, you know…

  • Tapeworm

    It was a direction that I am glad they did not go with. Yes, you do add all the layers of politics, school system and journalism later, but it’s more focused and the port stuff is this strange detour

  • Tapeworm

    You got any MCR trivia?

  • tOmy`

    I think they didn’t exactly know what to do with the “McNulty on the boat” gag from the S1, so they just rolled with this.

    Plus, I guess, they wanted to establish other minorities in Baltimore, the economical failing and so on… But yea. It’s quite obvious that they didn’t have first hand experience with this topic as they did with politics, schools and newsroom.

  • tOmy`

    MCR Trivia:

    “Basically, it’s never been accurate to describe us. Emo bands were being booked while we were touring with Christian metal bands because no one would book us on tours. I think emo is fucking garbage, it’s bullshit. I think there’s bands that unfortunately we get lumped in with that are considered emo and by default that starts to make us emo. All I can say is anyone actually listening to the records, put the records next to each other and listen to them and there’s actually no similarities. I think emo’s a pile of shit.”

    – Gerard Way, MCR’s frontman

  • NicCagesHair

    The second season must always be the hardest. Breaking Bad didn’t have a clue what it was doing S2 either.

  • Palpatine

    Aren’t most of their fans Emo?

  • Tapeworm

    I mean, I bet Simon did cover unions and it is a part of organized crime to some extent (On the Waterfront is still up to date, right?)

    Also, if you ever heard Simon talk about The Wire, A) He’s clearly in love with season 5, because that’s his “and this is how the kids do it today and I was better, harrumph” and B) He always talks about The Wire being a classical Greek tragedy in some sense. which, OK, agreed to a point, however it fails if you don’t care about those characters like, at all.

  • tOmy`

    Yea. Plus, The Wire never relied on cliff-hanger endings, so it was hard to kickstart every new season with a bang.

    Hence 12 dead bodies in a container – equivalent of an explosion that starts the plot.

    If there is a show that absofuckinglutely nailed S2 opening, it was Deadwood. S2E01 is possibly the best episode they ever did.

  • tOmy`

    Not sure. Out of people I know, most of them are punkers.

  • Tapeworm

    That is true, yeah. I guess they both sld the show, had a strong season and it was in development of the subsequent ones that they got a clear structure of what they wanna get, with the second season being this awkward bridge.

  • NicCagesHair

    Simon has never seen a mirror he doesn’t like.

  • Tapeworm

    I thought those guys are dead?

  • Palpatine

    The Emo sub-culture is big here in America.

  • tOmy`

    It was a very brief fad here. For like a year or two. Then it just disappeared.

    Thank god.

  • Tapeworm

    To be fair, his head reflects back into his eyes, it’s hard to gauge it.

  • Tapeworm

    You just don’t understand ME! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Tom will single handedly bring them back to live.

  • Tapeworm

    Firefly nailed Season 2 perfectly

    ..

  • Tapeworm

    His handjobs are said to be magical.

  • NicCagesHair

    I think them not killing Jesse is what led to the problems with S2. They kind of went “well what the fuck do we do with him now”

    The girlfriend subplot was interesting character development but they basically wrote it off at the end with Walt basically going “Oh yeah I killed her.”

    I forget if the Jesse rehab stuff was S2 or 3 but all that stuff was good, showing the human results of what Walt was doing without getting preachy about it.

    That fucking plane crash though, sooooo unearned.

  • Palpatine

    It’s still a thing here, sadly.

    #FirstWorldProblems

  • Tapeworm

    It’s a creepy concept, but it goes so far it stops being even remotely relatable

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)
  • tOmy`

    The first time watching Breaking Bad, I had a lot of problems with it, despite liking it a lot.

    The second time around it got much better, but I have to say that 747 Down Over ABQ was… kinda over the top.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    AHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

    SUCK IT JOSS WHEDON YOU OVERRATED HACK FUCK!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    S2 of BB was great though!

  • NicCagesHair

    Every mean comment adds 30 days to Joss Wheadon staying off twitter. How do you feel now? Bad I hope!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Isn’t that a Harrison Ford movie?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This reeks of desperation to compete with Star Wars, Marvel, and DC. I hate this franchise so fucking much. http://www.theverge.com/2016/2/12/10978006/transformers-5-6-7-release-date

  • Wizard Phoenix

    ” I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie”
    -Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way

  • NicCagesHair

    It says they going to write it through a writer’s room. They are fucking workshopping these things together.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Doesn’t matter who’s in the writer’s room it will be directed by Michael fucking Bay.

  • “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS????”

    -Dumbledore

  • tOmy`

    Dude! Spoilers!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m extremely confused by these Transformers release dates. Based on the box office predictions for Batman v Superman why open against a DC movie, studio head? Oh yeah China.

  • tOmy`

    They ain’t worried about BvS, they know that their fanbase is so daft that they avoid any DC shit, because it is too complex and complicated.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Actually they’ve been losing money in the states. You see the real answer is China. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIVKQV0sJ-8

  • Snake Squeezer

    They were pretty whinny in the commentary, I thought. “Man, look at all this work we had to do! Everything you see we had to make! It’s just one compromise after another! We’ve wanted to make movies our whole lives but now that we were given free money to make one, whinge, oh it’s just so hard!”

  • TheManHole

    It is that is all Hollywood want’s now. Every horse they bring before the masses needs to be beaten so hard that all that’s left is a hole filled with dust of the bones of the horse that was once there. Best part is it WILL work since the domestic box office numbers matter less and less and the global market all but guarantee’s a movies success just off the sheer number of possible audience members and brand recognition. People think I know what an Optimus is I’m sure this movie will appeal to me. The only saving grace is this really only effects big action blockbusters so if your a fan of movies you just have less to see during the summer/x-mas months.

  • NicCagesHair

    Doesn’t sound like it was a fun shoot.

  • Tapeworm

    You shut your whore mouth Alien:Ressurection is the best of the qua..quint..somethingology!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It won’t affect China though.

  • TheManHole

    Yeah but I don’t care about China.

  • Trask

    DC complex and complicated?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You should if you want money. Because it’s China.

  • TheManHole

    I know but there is no stopping it so may as well just ignore it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s true because China no understand english.

  • TheManHole

    Compared to transformers yes.

  • tOmy`

    For Transformers fans. Even mugs are too complicated for them.

  • I don’t know, I’ve had trouble following what was going on on screen in Transformers.

  • Chinese year of the idiot, year of the stupid monkey and the year of teenage curruption. The legacy of Transformers. But, if they’d make a movie where Optimus Prime teams up with China to fight American infidels it’s a 10/10 for me. Admirer and proud supporter of 9/11 as I am I’d shed a tear and say that it’s about damn time.

    You read this NSA/Google? I say **ck Uncle Sam in the *ss!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Magg, the answer is China! https://youtu.be/Zz5vEfa7UvI?t=3m9s

  • Trask

    Oh please, swap superman for optimus in Man of Steel and you basically have Transformers 3.

  • tOmy`

    I’ve seen the first three and I am still not sure who was the car.

  • My money is on Shia Labeouf.

  • You forgot to put in a slur against Japan.

  • TheManHole

    If you squint your eyes and turn your head to the left you can clearly see two junk yards fornicating.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    My money is on the random Chinese guy who started fighting a CIA guy.

  • TheManHole

    Yeah sure you can look at most of DC’s work and say it’s trashy or just as bad as the Transformers franchise but DC does still have some well made Batman movies where as Hasbro will never make a good movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • NicCagesHair

    This is like an Iron Sheik tweet. Beautiful, inexplicable, and incomprehensible poetry.

  • WHAT DO WE WANT?

  • They are cool. Did you know they have talking toilets? Wow. So cool. Amazing people. I bought a sticker saying Hiroshima 1945, I think they had like the Olympics there or something that year. I think it was the same year Hitler quit as president and retired to Argentina. Collectivization under Stalin also. Wow. Busy year. I also have a brewery that has a Nagasaki brand now. You know to show my support to militarization of the state of Israel and the soft apartheid against muslims in Europe. Anyway, doing alot of drugs these days. Eh, maybe…..

  • Wizard Phoenix

    China’s money.

  • TheManHole

    A̶ ̶q̶u̶i̶c̶k̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶t̶h new content!!!

  • Uh… that too but I hear there’s a terrible recession coming.

  • WHEN DO WE WANT IT?

  • tOmy`

    A WEEK AGO!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Some time soon

  • Reading about the Bush administration you just have to have a vent.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I wanted so badly to hate Deadpool with all the obnoxious marketing, but…I can’t.

    They actually gave him a little depth and sufficient motivation. I was even rooting for him a bit.

    Not every joke was a homerun, not every gag landed… but a bad film it was not.

  • Tapeworm

    ATTICA! ATTICA!

  • TheManHole

    Tuesday!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Told ya so. I have to take a kid to see it. My instructions were “cover his eyes when there’s sex scenes.”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yet gore is a-ok for a lil kid? What a fucked up world we live in

  • Bubs

    But he did have a pretty nice cock.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I grew up on this and I’m fine. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9l9wxGFl4k

  • dollar store cashier wife

    YES. [PAINLESS SUICIDE PLS]. THIS.

  • TheManHole

    Did Disgustis shit the bed for anyone else?

  • TheManHole

    All the more reason to get that money now before it’s all gone.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    TOMMOROW

  • NicCagesHair

    Well it’s a fact that seeing even one nipple with turn a child into a degenerate sex pervert while numerous violent deaths is just a good time!!!!!

  • Norm of the North 2, starring Niel Breen!

  • Bubs

    Nevermind that most children spend the first year of their life sucking on one 24/7.

  • TheManHole

    Do we get to see his ball sack!

  • NicCagesHair

    The scene after this where Bob says that guy’s death was just “life in the big city” is one the funniest scenes in the movie.

  • Yes! It’s the NSA. Everytime it happenes, they have changed something. Shh! A camera and a mic in every household in america… oh… my… god… Alex Jones… save us. Tell……… us…………………… the…………………….
    ………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
    …………………………………….truth.

  • Not good enough!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thank you for plugging me.

  • Sure thing bro! It was just so funny! I wanted it as a ringtone in december.

  • Paulus Nuns

    So, what about Patreon extras? Extra footage, pics and so on…How is it nobody shares anything of that in here? Why are you people so l̶o̶a̶t̶h̶f̶u̶l̶ virtuous??

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Buk Pravon

    Tamen bu xihuan xue Yingwen.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    hey if I payed 15$ a month to these alcoholics I’d hang on to anything that would let me keep up an illusion that I didn’t just wasted 15$.

  • Speed 2: Cruise Control. That’s actually funny. It’s just such a bad title. I think it’s top 5 material. I don’t know, maybe? What do you earthlings with your inferior brains think? Suggestions?

  • What’s golden girl? I’ll google it… OH MY GOOOD! *penis shrivels up and dies*

  • TheManHole

    You didn’t need it anyways Gungan’s are all hatched from eggs.

  • That is just mean. Poopypants. Smellybarffart! Peebrain!

  • tOmy`

    Okay, fuck this, time to boot new class in Morrowind.

    See you in winter. Thanks a lot, RLM.

  • The one with the new engine?

  • tOmy`

    Nah, the GOTYE of the classic + expansions + the code patch.

    I like my games like I like my women: Broken.

  • Hm…

  • TheManHole

    That explains so much.

  • It’s the American way!

    ♫ And the harder you can slap your skanky bitch
    in front of your kids the better it feels
    Slap that bitch so your kids can hear it ♫

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo0d1zTAFKA

  • You racist!

  • You’re right. I hate The Elder Scrolls.

  • Red Skeleton

    I’ll take vanilla Morrowind over Oblivion any day of the year. I haven’t played Skyrim but if it’s like the Islands in Bloodmoon it must be pretty sweet.

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh, wow, really? Making movies is a huge pain in the ass, I think they complained a perfectly fair amount.

  • tOmy`

    I like the Tamriel Rebuilt expansion that fans are working on for… a decade now?

    It’s a pretty cool feature, I suggest checking it out. You can sink another hundreds of hours into it, by stealing shit from houses you haven’t steal from before.

  • Red Skeleton

    I had, um, some graphics expansion for it back when I had a computer that actually HAD a graphics card. Right now all I’ve got is this shitty unupgradable PC, so I’ve resported to playing the Xbox GOTY version of Morrowind on my 360. Still a very satisfying experience.

  • I’ve been playing it on a Mac of all things. It can NOT handle any of the better textures or the graphics/script extender, and I’m lucky to hit 7 fps while I’m outside with all the mods I do have installed. And yet, it’s still really fun. I was used to the long loading times and bad fps on Xbox growing up, so it doesn’t even feel that different. Except now it has a ton more content.

    Now, if and when I do get my hands on my own proper gaming PC, I’m totally gonna pimp it out on there.

  • Palpatine

    Did you take an arrow to the knee? Ha ha ha ha, I am soooooo funny!

    3-2-3-4, 4-2-3, and…

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    YouTube Account Last Access?: 5 Days Ago…

  • C U R V E D S W O R D S
    U
    R
    V
    E
    D

    S
    W
    O
    R
    D
    S

  • Marvin
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Now THIS is pod racing… No, wait… Its just a hangover. the spinning and the urge to throw up on Jake Lloyd confused me.

  • Palpatine

    LAUGH AT THE MEME’S DAMN IT, LAUGH AT THEM!!!!!!!!!

  • I kind of get the feeling that this next Best of The Worst may be Valentine’s themed. It’s going to be painful.

  • Palpatine

    It’ll be a WotW with nothing but old dating guide videos.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    instant adoring boyfriend 2

    #the world really needed a sequel

  • J’Zargo like to try new things.
    Like blowing guys in dark alleys.

  • I threw up in my mouth a little.

  • TheManHole

    Please no…

  • I used to be a cake like you, until I curved a sword in the lie.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dating Guys*

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Instant Menage?

  • Palpatine

    NO!

  • Tapeworm
  • TheManHole

    Gawd I know I’m a loser as evident with me being on this web zone all day but even I’m not THAT lonely and depressing.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Oh shit. i’m way to hungover for that. I jumped to a random point and the guy was just pulling faces.

  • Return of the Jean Skirt

  • Tapeworm

    This vid is kinda worth watching for the creep factor.

  • tOmy`

    I have been playing a bit of it like 2 years ago. I really enjoyed the available Fighters Guild quests, but I didn’t do much of exploring. But it does look effing impressive.

  • TheManHole

    Speed 3: Highway traffic construction.

  • Marvin

    I’ve only watched the two parts of the Let’s Stream last year and I would sooo love to just roam through Tamriel but … no time for that. Kudos to the developers. 10 years of work on that project, that’s dedication.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Or, one could try this method:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk1jp9-VQ3I

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • TheManHole

    The post you are trying to reply to has been removed by a moderator. Who’s fucking with my comments!??!

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Huh. So that explains why I have 15 gigs worth of Space Cop on my computer.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    You are very talented. Are you a professional hip hop artist?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Are you sure you aren’t a professional song writer? Death Row Records may be hiring. You should do this for a living.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Zack Snyder ~ Michael Bay

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I finally get the ‘scissors with your pizza’ joke. I just thought you should know that.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAcpL5CRUxo

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    If I may, try OpenMW to get better performance. https://openmw.org/en/

  • fred

    on how to send blood to their sex hole.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    1,500? 2,000!

  • Domo

    Here’s hoping someone shipped the RLM crew some chocolate boyfriends that they can eat during the BOTW show!

    https://imaginarymen.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/chocolate-boyfriend.jpg

  • I’m not ashamed of my feelings for you!

  • JA! JAAAA! *fires jet engine*

  • Moke

    The soundtrack of the TES games is great, too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gC-UsVHtg8

  • Moke

    What destroys a kid are movies about childbirth. It’s the nuclear holocaust to your fantasy land.

  • NicCagesHair

    “Well I can speak dragon that do anything for you!!!”

    “no but do you have a sweetroll?”

    *MEMES ENGAGED*

  • We can do it!

  • Palpatine

    Yes We Can!

  • Let’s better comment some more then!

  • Craig

    I keep getting distracted by Asteroids and Tempest.

  • I know this is way off-topic, but has anyone ever read HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH the hp fanfiction? I noticed a few of you read My Immortal, and I was reminded of this masterpiece:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2V4VxlsMuQ4

    “DOBBY RELISHED HIS GROINSAW’S ROAR!”

  • *starts coughing up blood*

  • Evil Octopus

    It’s like when they reviewed Sonic and didn’t know about the spin move. Or briefly played Darkest Dungeon and Rich says “all you do is spam the same move”…. NOPE.

  • Tim Hendrix

    thats is awesomes

  • b538787

    3″My current salary is more than 4400 dollars each week. Over a year ago I was in a horrible condition , jobless and fgno bank credit . Thanks to one of my friends who showed me a way where I was able to gather myself and making average of 57 d/h. So it can change your life as it has changed mine.

    Here Are The Details

    ash

  • rosa.callihan

    I have scored 124k dollars last year working online, despite the fact , I am a full time student. I am a gh member of an organisation that I heard about and I have received such great cash. It is very user friendly and I am glad to be with them. Here are the details .

    Click To Discover More

    qsy

  • Urdus

    Love this game. Top ten title in my list. Angry Joe reviewed it too but the game he talked about and the game I played were totally different. He was very nitpicking and even unfair/dead wrong on one point (you can teleport fine, just not right from the start). If you want a fair professionel review l recomment the one from Joseph Anderson.

  • Foreman 371

    It’s a great game and the generic part is just the surface. People were comparing it to Dark Souls and there lies the real problem. With the people.