Pre-Rec: Bloodborne

April 15, 20152,865 Comments

Rich and Jack play Bloodborne for the PS4, a game so hard that Jack no longer has the mental fortitude to write a clever description for this video.


Filed in: Previously Recorded

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Level up resistance.

  • Dimitri G

    Do these guys like video games?

  • Hilary Manfat

    “Fuck my nutsack” – Rich Evans, 2015

  • Miguel Angel Teran

    no time to watch the video … have to comment …

  • omitted

    Bloodporn*

  • Kaze

    Wait, what year is it?

  • Hilary Manfat

    I get confused. I originally put 2014, until I realised it was New Year’s Day a few months ago. To be honest, I’m still stuck in 1988.

  • Robby

    Git gud

  • Hilary Manfat

    Let us know when you decide to comment!

  • El_Runko

    Rich, you’re squinting.

  • Bongodoug

    put yo weight on it

  • omitted

    squirting*

  • Ewwww…

  • Robby

    Hot.

  • Percy Gryce

    Better question: do we like video games?

  • Percy Gryce

    Pre-Rec?!? Damn, my stones are back.

  • SkaMP

    Mr. Bloodborne is way too much of a lanky fuck imo.

  • SkaMP

    Old man Rich being old man again

  • SkaMP

    The loading times are stupid

  • Palpatine

    RLM is shilling out for Lucasfilm:
    http://i.imgur.com/VgH6JMn.png

  • Robby

    Srsly, it’s 2015, who doesn’t use adblock? Palpy, I know you’re like 719 year old, but get with the times.

    Man I fucked that sentence up.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Rich Evans “OWWWW FUCK MY NUT SACK!”

    in his preview of the Batman vs. Superman trailer.

  • tOmy`

    “A comical amount of blood”

    I guess you never took a chainsaw into a hooker town in GTAs.

  • Robby

    I did that once, but it was in Prague.

    I’ve said too much. What’s the statute of limitation on murder?

  • The Loon

    like 6 months…you should be good

  • Palpatine

    Careful now, you don’t want to upset, uh, certain people. Oh wait, you don’t live in America, so you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about.

  • tOmy`

    Killing hookers in Prague? Most likely a thank you note and a free coupon to Starbucks.

  • tOmy`

    I thought we already ran over all the Mothers Against GTA…

  • The Loon

    yo my man Rich is high as FUCK

  • Palpatine

    I was actually referring to the feminist anti-video game movement.

  • tOmy`

    DON’T YOU EVEN DARE TO BRING ANITA’S NAME UP, MKAY?!

    It already cost me hours and hours of my life.

  • The Loon

    this game absolutely glorifies rape culture…*grabbing my sign

  • tOmy`

    No, that was Watchdogs. You know, that game where you fight against people running sex slave industry.

  • Palpatine

    You misogynistic pig!

    #DownWithGamergate

  • tOmy`

    Is that fucking bimbo still making up bullshit videos? I think I may have to check her channel, just to get furious again.

  • tOmy`

    “That game could have used a little bit of explaining.” As in… press “x” for dash?

  • Robby

    I have to mostly agree with Jack as far as the tutorial goes. I love when games don’t hold your hand. And I completely disagree with Rich about needing to know all of the controls as soon as possible. I love the feeling of playing a game for hours and hours, and suddenly realizing the game has been so hard because I’ve been playing without using some other ability that I didn’t know I could use.

    I remember when Morrowind was released, I was trying to find some cave or other for a quest, and the only information the game gave me was a journal entry, like “The cave is north of this, and southeast of that.” Go find it. No quest markers or dots on the map. I spent so much time trying to find it, until I finally just gave up and went to the Bethesda Softworks forums, signed up, and made a thread about it, to see if someone could help me out. Eventually I found the cave, but I also stayed on the forums and made a lot of friends that I still talk to today. With games today, this would almost never happen anymore. If I get stuck for even two minutes, I can just hop on Google and find what I’m looking for within seconds. Neither way is necessarily bad, I just prefer when a game doesn’t spoonfeed everything to you.

  • tOmy`

    I wanna talk about how awesome Morrowind is!!!!

    “Hey, wanna proceed in the game? Here is a shitty paper map, now fuck off to a wasteland without any help and try to survive. I am off to smoke my skooma.”

  • tOmy`

    Adblock is for pussies. I wanna know what my cookies say about me.

    Today it is apparently… a medicine for dogs and cats that helps against flees and lice.

    Yep, big brother is still useless twat.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    high on life

  • Robby

    Then let’s talk about it!!!!!!!!

    That’s another similarity it shares with Bloodborne. Enemies being able to massacre you if you fuck with the wrong one before you’re leveled up enough, and then being able to come back later in the game and being able to totally fuck them up.

  • tOmy`

    Yep. I love how Morrowind effectively discourages you from taking certain quests too fast – “you might wanna get some training first this; there are other things to explore first that.

    It’s a great, great system. And it works especially well upon further playthroughs – you suddenly feel much better, because you know how take on some serious quests right off the bat, just because you know how to finish them, what is important or to use items available in shops. But in the end, just swapping to a different class makes it harder again, as you have to change your approach and most likely Houses / Guilds.

    That game is beyond broken, but still it is an amazing thing to play. Everytime I hear “Wake up” below the ship’s deck and lay my eyes on Scyda Neen for the first time… I still have shiver down my spine: What am I gonna do now? How am I gonna roleplay this?

  • SkaMP

    How do you mean exactly “beyond broken” ?

  • marko112kg

    My friend and I would never have finished Monkey Island if we hadn’t men in school each day to swap notes.

  • tOmy`

    Well, the more you play it, the more you learn to abuse it – and by abusing, I mean using certain glitches to help you out. Sure, they were meant to be there for a reason or two, but the more I play Morrowind, the more I try to avoid certain things or actions – how to make money, how to get really great items right off the bat, how to steal from merchants etc etc. I guess you could say that most of these are legit, but at the same time, just by some tedious bullshit, you can pretty much get superb items within a first real time day of playing.

    Then again, as I said, you can just avoid playing like this. I usually reserve this to my fast playthroughs – go to my saved class, level up as fast as I can, skip most of the game, use right spells, enchants and just finish the game as fast as possible. (Noted: I don’t have this kinda gameplay for Tribunal or Bloodmoon.)

  • No .GIF of Rich’s hand gesture at 2:19-2:20 yet? You disappoint me, fellas.

  • Robby

    I actually enjoy learning all the rules to a game, and then breaking them. After playing Morrowind for a few hours, I don’t think I “walked” anywhere ever again. Jumping got you around so much faster (and leveled up your Acrobatics), but if you switched to third person it looked so wonky.

  • Laura Palmer’s Cold Dead Kiss

    As a longtime Dark Souls lover, I look forward to buying Bloodborne.

    The second it comes out on PC.

  • tOmy`

    Yep. I usually walk a lot only if Acrobatics are necessary for leveling up – then again, as an FPS gamer, I jump anywhere anyway.

    On my late playthroughs, I just use a combo for Mark / Recall (enchanted ring / spell), Intervention spells, Mage’s guild ports and Windform scrolls (invisibility + super fast levitation). It does take a lot of charm from the game, but hey, when you know it, you are free to use it or not to use it.

  • Robby

    Or just paying a shitton of gold to create a jump spell that can get you halfway across the map, and having to cast a slow spell just before you hit the ground so you don’t die. Got daym Morrowind was so much fun.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Handful of invisibility potions, Daedric battle axe at level 1.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That will never happen though.So you either start saving up for a PS4 or just pirate it once PS4 emulation becomes a thing like 5 years later.

  • FishbowlPhenom

    I love you guys.

  • playdude92 .

    Learning the game; Jack´s right. Trying is more fun than choosing in an action game with instantly visible results.

    On the loading screens, Rich is right. I´d be really pumped to try again after dying and the load screen would let that energy cool off. It breaks game flow.

  • SkaMP

    Ah yeah that’s true, I was just think cuz I never encountered major glitches or bugs. But yeah if you play it a lot you do figure out a few things, you can become super OP very quickly when you know what you’re doing. (first thing that comes to mind is rushing to an area near Gnisis and killing a guy with an “80% chameleon for 3 minutes” amulet, easy to do with just starting dagger and no armour or other equipment when yer an Orc. That amulet makes you stupidly OP and now you can commence to pick up all the other stuff to break the game even more) 😛

    It takes some fun out of the game because you’ve basically fully mastered the game and there’s nothing new to figure out. But damn figuring all those things out is so much fun though.

    Say the boots of blinding speed, figuring out you can actually resist the blind effect with magic resist is just great.

    (of course Rich would much more prefer if the game told him the blind effect can be resisted ;p)

    But that’s also part of what makes Morrowind so great, complete freedom to fuck around with stats and such, you wanna make a full set of clothing that permanently heals you for like 20 or so hp per second ? go ahead! you wanna become permanently invisible? go figure out how to and do it!

    Figuring out how to do those things is a lot of the fun too but you don’t HAVE to do any of those things.

    Morrowind, like Bloodborne, just gives you a really cool world and just drops you in it for you to figure it out for yourself 😀

  • SkaMP

    Oh well I would not at all call mark/recall , intervention spells, mage guild teleporting or levitation any kind of game-breaking at all.

  • omitted

    So it was you I got these crabs from! Better order that medicine!

  • Andrew Snook

    I haven’t played this game, I don’t even own a PS4, but I really enjoyed this review. It was a real discussion on gaming, game design and game playing preference. Well done guys.

  • tOmy`

    The most common stuff I use is:

    When playing for my “Adventurer” class: Quickly finish Farghot quest in Scyda, keep the cash. Get all Alchemy stuff from Caldera MG Tower, join MG in Balmora, start Arija quests. Wait for the particular quest when the blondie Elf walks down, steal all her stuff.

    From there on it is mostly fucking around with alchemy – since Arija is on 100%, you buy cheap, sell cheap, abuse the glitch when ingredients stack – so you can buy amazing amount within one click. Make potions, sell to Creeper. Repeat for excessive amount of money.

    I usually stop somewhere around 28k, use soulgems I stole to enchant common ring to get 100 open, Grab Glass Armor from Ald Ruhn FG.

    The last usual step for me is to “discover” the abandoned ebony mine south from Balmora, talk to Dram Bero (I think that’s his name) and grab Deadric Katana as a reward. With that and bit skill you can get Deadric Dai-Katana soon as well (one of the watchtowers in Dren’s Plantation.

    From there on, it is just a matter of taste: getting uber powerful Vampiric ring, getting that neat resistance ring named after death developer south of… uhm… Bal Fell? Something like that…

    After that, the game pretty much plays itself.

  • Robby

    Talking about Morrowind makes me remember how disappointed I was with Oblivion. I remember how special and exciting it was finding anything Daedric in the former. Then in the latter, once you’re level 50 or 60, every bandit you come across is strapped to the 9’s with ebony, daedric, and glass weapons and armor. Completely ruins their uniqueness.

  • James Earl Jones

    This hand gesture?

    http://i.imgur.com/V8Z7A8v.gif

  • Christ, I miss all the crazy jumping and levitating you could do in Morrowind. I could literally just have fun leaping through the continent with a broken jump spell and then catching my fall with levitate.

  • fred

    This was a good episode.

  • tOmy`

    Exactly, I never cared for the new ones. Since I have my new gaming laptop, that would handle both Oblivion and Skyrim no prob, I actually just installed Morrowind with HD shaders.

    That game is just better in any aspect.

    (Fair to say: I think that once you reach a certain level, Golden Saints do carry a lot of good stuff – ebony, glass and Deadric. Same goes for Deadric shrines)

    Still tho! Every time I play Morrowind for a certain class, I usually just map ahead of time what exactly do I want to use till this point, that point, what to bring into Tribunal and so on. Lately, I am just skipping most of the Deadric stuff just to play with other weapons – most commonly artifacts, just to have more quests to finish or find a different route to get them. I don’t exactly roleplay too much, I just really think a lot in advance on what do I want and when to use it and then throughout the course of the game I am just trying to find a good time to get certain thing / weapon.

  • tOmy`

    Just sole acrobatics on 100 are hilarious.

  • Palpatine
  • Robby

    Well said Fred.

  • There actually are tutorial messages in the Hunter’s Dream right at the beginning…but they’re kinda out of the way and VERY easy to miss. I didn’t even see them my first few times there. As someone whose played these since Demon’s Souls, I’ve noticed the tutorials and instructions for these have been getting less and less beginner friendly with each game, like they expect you to already have been playing them for a while. Like I remember Demon’s came with a nice beefy manual that explained all the controls, stats, and basic items, and even in the starting level, the optional hints stood out in the environment and were very easy to find.

    The loading screen is also genuinely painful, both because it’s just a black screen with the title and the fact that it lasts so long, whereas before they used to actually do something interesting with it. Demon’s load screens showed character art, so you slowly began to familiarize with the people in the world and could be driven to try and find them, while Dark Souls displayed random items and their descriptions, often with lore attached that helped with the world building while you were on down time.

    For me the biggest problems were the chalice dungeons, the equipment variety, and PVP. The chalice dungeons get REALLY repetitive and boring after a while, and also yield poor rewards for your efforts compared to the main game. You’re stuck in the same dull cave/dungeon areas over and over again and your prize for completing the area is…materials to make more chalice dungeons. That said, it’s an entirely optional area of the game, so it’s really not that big of a deal.

    I really like the increased focus on a smaller number of equipment that’s very customizable and has alot of hidden functions, but I feel the lack of variety could hurt Bloodborne in the long run. Part of what contributes to the longevity of the Souls games is that there are so many different kinds of weapons, armors, spells, and gimmicks your character can pull off, that half the fun of the game becomes just making new characters and trying new things. At most, I feel like I’m only gonna try like 2 or 3 builds in this, and I’m worried there won’t be alot of variety when it comes to player-on-player interaction.

    …Which brings me to the PVP aspect. I like how healing is sort of a mix of the Estus flasks from Dark Souls and the herbs in Demon’s Souls, and that healing is so quick. But that just kinda makes fighting other players that much more painful. Everyone kinda just rushes up, attacks, then retreats to heal up in a nanosecond with little chance to be interrupted. Add in the lack of build variety, and I have a bad feeling the PVP aspect is gonna get very dull, very fast. Again, another optional feature of the game, but it’s one of the more unique aspects and has contributed to people continuing to play the previous games today.

    After all that though, I think the pros really do outweigh the few negatives, and it’s definitely worth experiencing. I’m just kinda worried what the future will hold for it. And even then, they’re fears you generally wouldn’t apply to this type of game, and I think that says something.

  • James Earl Jones

    Or this hand gesture?

    http://i.imgur.com/W88LOla.gif

  • James Earl Jones

    Or this (off-camera) hand gesture?
    https://i.imgur.com/pOoOUHo.gif

  • James Earl Jones

    Bloodborne! http://i.imgur.com/YOE7NZ1.png

    Hand of Fate! http://i.imgur.com/vKwumoa.png

    The order………………….. http://i.imgur.com/2VxIMtH.png

  • SkaMP

    Oh hehe, I used to just get that 80% chameleon amulet and farm daedric shrines for money (never even noticed there is a glitch with the ingredients stacking, lol even after playing it to death there’s apparently still stuff I don’t know :P), some nice daedric items sell for quite a bit. It doesn’t take long at all before I’ve got the boots of blinding speed, 80% magic res (as a breton+saviours hide), the +20 agility and +20 gloves in the main quest related cave near gnaar mok. and a shitload of other awesome items you can get at lvl 1 that make you stupidly OP 😛

    stopping at 28k? how are you gonna pay the silly high prices for enchanting and bribing everyone with 1000 gold cuz why not? 😛 280k sounds better in my ears lol.

    But yeah it does take a bit of the challenge out of it when nothing can attack you or hurt you ever, might as well play with god mode on, it sure feels like that.

  • That’s part of why I love it when a new From title comes out; everyone is online and exploring, and has no idea what’s going on, so every little discovery is really exciting and everyone wants to find out if weird rumors spreading around are true.

  • Palpatine

    As Jay would say, those show a decent into madness.

  • SkaMP

    What ruined Oblivion for me was the retarded level-scaling. You can finish the game at lvl 1 and have a much easier time doing it than at lvl 50.

  • Don’t even give her the views, the videos really don’t deserve it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think she actually ran away with the monies she milked out of her feminist followers and never finished the series.

  • SkaMP

    Seyda not Scyda btw 😛 #suchimportantfactsverywow

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Why did they stop using the camcorder noise in the intro? I liked it.

  • fred

    Thank you Robby.

  • SkaMP

    Another thing I really REALLY miss in Oblivion and Skyrim; no levitation </3

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I just realized this (I don’t think I have ever typed about Morrowind in such a detail before) – I have no freaking clue how to spell places where I spent half of my teenage years.

    What a weird thing, really. I struggled with every single name I used – then again, didn’t feel like spell-checking on wiki, so I just let it go.

  • She shifted over to trying to focus on more positive representations of female characters in gaming, and her first choice was a literal blank slate most players weren’t even aware was supposed to be a woman.

  • Nope, you just yell at dragons that fly around a bit before standing still and breathing on you.

    Oh, the epic struggle.

  • SkaMP

    Or finding those 1000 acrobatics for 8 sec scrolls and trying one of em out for the first time; hilarious, until you realize oh shit I’m going to end up just like the guy I looted these scrolls off am I not? aaaaaaaaaaaah *splat*

    (and then many playthroughs later realizing “what if I use one of those scroll just before I land?.. omg of course!” )

  • SkaMP

    haha yeah fair nuf it wasnt meant as a srs grammarnazi-comment 😉

  • tOmy`

    1) 28k is around the price you need for 100 Open enchant. After that, you can just steal almost anything and sell it to Creeper. If I want an instant buff, I can always quickly create 1 second boost Intelligence on any random ring and create potions much, much more expensive – but still, it is a hustle and gets rather boring.

    After all, you don’t exactly need that much money in the game in the first place – this just gave me an idea for a run of Morrowind to see how “cheap” can you go to the end. I think there even may be a way to avoid most of the bribing during the quests.

    2) If I remember this trick correctly: To stack ingredients, you need to find a merchant with re-stocking supplies. Arija is best, because she re-stocks on Hound Meat and something… that makes Restore Fatigue + you have her on 100 + you are one magic trip away to Calder and few jumps from there to Creeper.

    Now for the trick itself: If I remember correctly, you buy the re-stocking item. You leave the dialogue, enter it again, sell it back (by that time, her supply re-stocked, so she is now on 10). You buy 10, close the dialogue, open it again and tradaaa: She is on 10 suddenly. So you sell 10, she gets to 20, you buy, you close, she restocks to 20, you sell 20, she is in on 40… and so on. I think this glitch got fixed within the Coder Patch (or at least you can turn it on / off)

    3) Things you don’t know. I can honestly say there is a LOT of stuff I have never tried, missions I never went for, artifacts I have never retrieved and so on. Including BOBS trick – I had them, I know how to get them, I know the trick, I just never got around trying it. That is the beauty of Morrowind – you can play it gazillion of times and there is still so much to discover.

  • Drain

    Hated Dark Souls 1. (Worst PC port ever, still complete shovelware today)
    Hated Dark Souls 2. (Slightly less terrible PC port, shovelwared immediately)
    This one isn’t even on PC. Either they’re waiting to take the next dump on us, or they’ve finally given up with shitty PC ports. Either way, fuck them.

  • tOmy`

    Man, I don’t remember single time when any other video on interwebs made me SERIOUSLY angry. I spent hours and hours visiting forums and chats just to see how much she is wrong about everything.

    It was like a conspiracy theory – debunk as much as you can for ultimate price of crying yourself to sleep because your GF just dumped you and you hate all g-

    Wait a second…

  • Hey thanks for killing those two rats, now can you travel 40,000 miles across the continent to try to find my shipment of extra comfy pillows?

  • tOmy`

    I remember finishing that quest. But I think the ultimate fuck you was the Golden Eggs quest – you finally get to that fucking spot on some random-ass island, where everything looks the same and just then you realize they are so fucking heavy you cannot possibly carry them back.

    Also, you catch a cancer or two just on the way there, you know, as an added bonus.

    God that game really does hate you sometimes.

  • Tl;dr I think that says something

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of shit that despite playing Morrowind for a decade, I never tried / figured out:

    http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Morrowind:Ahnassi,_a_Special_Friend

    Anyone fucking done this quest? I ran into it by complete accident! And it is soooo awesome. You can get your own girlfriend!

    Also: Did anyone ever actually manage to get all those 26 Sanguine items? You know, those ones that are like “Somewhere on the island, go find them” type of a quest?

  • …git gud?

  • tOmy`

    Am I the only one who thinks it is almost laughably stupid to play FPS games on consoles?

  • tldr; I could see why it wasn’t very beginner friendly and it has potential problems down the line, but I liked it.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    When Rich has his formal hoodie & t-shirt on you know he’s interested.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The lighting in this episode is giving Rich Evans the look of consumption.

    Otherwise, cool episode.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    While I acknowledge the advantages of using mouse and keyboard, I think that a controller is a completely manageable option. If you’re playing a single player game, the AI behavior doesn’t usually require the pinpoint accuracy anyway. And if you’re playing multiplayer, it’s still fair because everyone has the same advantages and disadvantages of controllers. Playing with a controller against mouse and keyboard users, however, would be dumb.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Is fucking Rich Evans’ nut sack a new Patreon tier?

  • David Anderson

    They had me sold on the console and the game until they showed me the loading screen time. Nope. The game code needs to be redesigned to solve that problem.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, to certain degree I agree. But… well, considering me playing UT:

    4 buttons for movement, weapons binded to different keys, taunts, binded messages, scores, change team binded etc etc. We literally use half of our keyboards just to play the game (+ buttons on mouse).

    But the most glaring problem for me is: How do you type “FUCK OFF YOU PIECE OF TRASH” and similar on console?

  • tOmy`

    Yea, when I saw that, I thought to myself:

    “Now that’s the game that would turn me into chain-smoker.”

    #SmokingGamerProblems

  • David Anderson

    You did what to men in school?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Who doesn’t want to men in school?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Eh, couldn’t care less about 3rd person hack n’ slash fantasy games with giant enemies whose attacks prevent you from seeing what your character is doing or generally what’s going on in the game.

    Other than that, a good episode, I guess. At least they had differing opinions for once that made for a proper conversation. Also, I’m with Rich about the game telling what you can or cannot do. At least when it comes to basic controls. Gimme the rules and I’ll explore what I can do within those rules. I don’t want to spend time figuring out what the rules are to begin with.

  • RLMkeepitup

    next gen loading times are so last gen

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, you could use a mic and just tell that to their face. But you do raise a point about communication and teamwork in console games compared to PC. A lot of people don’t feel comfortable having a voice chat with strangers, so text chat is at least a better way of communicating than not communicating at all.

  • Supposedly, they’re working on a patch to fix the load time.

    Supposedly.

  • RLMkeepitup

    i still can’t emulate the ps2 like 10 years later..

  • RLMkeepitup

    makes you wonder after man makes A.I. who will rape who first. guess we probably know already… thanks RLM !

  • Will Urick

    I am a firm believer in that tutorials, pop up button maps and voice over help is unnecessary. You can learn to play a game by playing it, that is a thing that is inherent about well designed games. I suggest checking this out.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FpigqfcvlM

    I feel that Jack is on point with this.

  • Yessss, yessssssss. Excellent!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Brilliant arguments sir.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Bloodborne isn’t hack n slash though.It’s an RPG with some MMORPG elements and combat that is more remisant of chracter action games with some metroidvania exploration on top of it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Really? 40 seconds invalidate everything else that is good?

  • RLMkeepitup

    This game is so visually pleasing, the combat so balanced, the creatures so diverse… I jizzed in my game manual. To Hell with Boyhood, this game is my manhood.

  • Tarjei Ferstad Aasen

    FYI: if you got down to the right the first time you enter the hunters dream there are messengers on the ground that give you instructions on all the moves ++. That’s your tutorial. Noone will tell you, you have to explore, look and read.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, I don’t generally like RPGs or MMORPGs either. And my point about giant enemies stands. But even if the gameplay did appeal to me, more importantly the fantasy setting doesn’t, so that settles it for me, really.

  • iamtravis182

    Good to see Rich rocking Jim Lee’s Superman (For Tomorrow) and Batman (Hush) comic covers on his luscious body.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Is there really any game out there that has ever explained every aspect of the game to you before you started to play? I can understand wanting the most basic game controls, or even little hints during the multiple loading screens, but to have everything explained to you seems extreme.

    I remember playing Mortal Kombat as a kid with friends, and we found all the finishing moves by accident, and it was so fun to figure them out. If I wanted to play something like this as a glass cannon and my spouse wanted a less squishy experience, we could figure that stuff out and see what we preferred. That’s not wasted time, that’s an added feature that many games no longer have.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I guess something like The Order would come pretty close, since everything’s contextual, for maximum cinematix experinz, and therefore have to be explained.

  • paintitswe

    Rich Plz play Elite: Dangerous and tell us what you think of it! I would love to hear your thoughts on that game!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Portal does it flawlessly.Every little nuance of the gameplay and level designed is presented to you all the way through until the end where you get to incorporate every single thing you’ve learned without a single reminder of those previous lessons.

  • Sadly. :/

  • He’s saying “handjob”, isn’t he?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh, wait. You said before you started to play. Never mind then. Well, it’s still a game that explains everything to you. I suppose it also establishes it from the very beginning, so it’s still somewhat valid.

  • Damn, that made me all wet.

  • Totally. Best. Most. Useful. Stat. Ever.
    You should never level up Dexterity. And if you did, don’t tell anyone.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That’s the ideal way of introducing new mechanics: giving a simple challenge that requires you to utilize the mechanic, and then throw you in the deep end of the pool afterwards. Kind of like the knife and stun stick thugs in Arkham Asylum. Although Jack still somehow managed to fumble through the stun stick part so he still doesn’t know how to deal with them.

  • frankiesmileshow

    I agree with Rich on the introduction. Bloodborne is amazing, but its first few minutes are very clunky. The other souls games before this one all had fairly elegant tutorials in the form of short gameplay sections made out of setpieces inciting you to try the game’s various features. They were well made and served their purpose quite well. Despite being arguably the worst game in the series, Dark Souls 2 probably had the best tutorial of them all, it was very well made. With bloodborne, it feels like they gave up on designing a tutorial section entirely, and just peppered the first area and hunter’s dream with a tangle of tutorial messages.

  • Percy Gryce

    Why isn’t Jessi still producing Pre-Rec? I liked seeing her name in the credits.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Would you rather have a game with intense tutorials like Rich, or would you rather have a “Fuck tutorials” game like Jack? Does the genre of game determine your decision?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I think Jessi took over in milking Mr. Plinkett’s cat.

    It ain’t gonna milk itself.

  • Percy Gryce

    Yeah, but these webseries ain’t gonna produce themselves either.

    Oh, I guess they will.

  • tOmy`

    I love the way Deus Ex: Human Revolution handled “tutorial” – the very first mission is basically an intro to the story, yet you have to use some basic stuff. Then the game starts and slowly eases you into it within the first real mission – hacking, security etc. At the same time, you always have time to go to either menu or some tips section (that was for hacking) to learn all the advanced stuff. But in no way it was hand holding. I literally HATE basic FPS games showing you how to “shoot” – like the retarded training camps in most of the real-life FPS games – look, there are 4 targets, use your mouse to point at the thing you want to kill and press the button that has “kill” on it since the freaking 90s.

    Game should have a basic options menu, where you see your binds. The combos with binds should be either learned through game (most likely a quick pop up window that you can close when you don’t feel like it) or to come up on your own. It is a game. Game is meant to be “played” – as in, you are supposed to play with the game. Getting to know the game is the best thing ever.

  • Bubs

    Yes.
    .
    .
    .
    Both are good. It’s really game dependent. The way From designs their games, not having a tutorial is the tutorial. Just by not having one, they’re telling the player “shit’s gonna get real and we’re not going to hold your hand” and it works perfectly in this sense.

    But if I had to play Civilization V without their lengthy in-game dictionary, I would have said fuck it after 5 minutes.

    Where we run into problems is when things are over-explained. When a game only uses ONE fucking button for EVERY INTERACTION, you don’t really need to keep reminding me to “Press B”.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Maybe there weren’t enough fart sounds in the show, and she quit is disgust.

  • tOmy`

    You drunken retarded didn’t answer a single question she asked. Well done.

  • tOmy`

    The problem with interactive parts of the game is simple – back in the 90s, it was the glowing button / doors. Now we have such rich environment in games, that you have to let person know that this particular thing does something. However, it should come with either “use” or “interact”, rather than “press x”.

  • Bubs

    This game looks so fucking good. It’s almost enough to make me wish I had a PS4. Almost.

  • tOmy`

    Ok.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    DID YOU KNOW MORROWIND TOOK 12 YEARS TO MAKE?!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I understand your name now

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Ohhhh man, it’s the Bloopibloop!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Jimmy Jams, Jimmy Jams, Jimmy Jams, Jimmy Jams, Jimmy Jams, Jimmy Jams, Jimmy Jams, Jimmy Jams, Jimmy Jams, Jimmy Jams, Jimmy Jams, Jimmy Jams…

    Oh, and gold pine resin!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I like the thought of you watching Pre-Rec episodes just to see Jessi’s name in in the end credits.

  • tOmy`

    How was PS4 fondling?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Morrowind, Halo series, BioShock. These games slowly introduce you to elements of the game at an appropriate pace. You start out with nothing and you look around then you are given the objective to survive, then you get introduced to a weapon, then another part of the game, etc. It’s a system that works well and not many games have them.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Endlessly nerdy.

  • tOmy`

    Doom. Doom has.

  • tOmy`

    Well, since Omie apparently went to bed (hopefully with someone / something), I will honor his tradition:

    [takes a deep breath]

    *JAYHOOOOOOD!!!!1111

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    *Right said Fred.

  • tOmy`

    And as I finish my 5th beer, I shall rest my case with this: “The show never quite found its spot in the television zeitgeist. Actually, it wasn’t very popular by any standard. But it was so good, and so fun, and it didn’t really care about being anything besides those two things. I can only hope, that in a few years, more people will discover it: a fate it’s not only earned, but amply justified.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Rose colored?! IT’S TINTED YOU HACK! ROSE TINTED! UNSUBSCRIBED!!!!!!!

  • Bubs

    Rich. You’re opinion is WRONG.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Well”
    -Fred

  • Robby

    The cleverness of what I said was in making people think that without saying it. And then you came along in your Michael Bay-approved steamroller and pandered to allllll the stupid people here. What do you have to say for yourself?

  • Robby

    “I’ve heard it both ways.”
    Every episode of Psych ever

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Psych is the most pretentious piece of cancer since Garden State

  • Robby

    I enjoyed most of it. COME AT ME.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t like, you do. Why does it matter?

  • tOmy`

    I enjoyed most of Garden State. COME AT ME.

  • Robby

    BECAUSE THIS IS THE INTERNET AND THERE NEEDS TO BE CONSTANT CONFLICT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Robby

    Okay, that’s where I draw the line. Get out.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Get out, we don’t take kindly to those who like Garden State

  • tOmy`

    Interesting piece of trivia for me: Out of all people hating Garden State in here… who actually did see it?

  • Because i m mostly a coward with such games(horror games, unlike Horror movies, really work on my nerves), i hardly ever consider to get things like Dead space, Demon souls or Machine of pigs.. but maybe its because that i m a coward that i would do rather well in it… (i m the type that always tries to crawl cautiously my way to every enemies throats in Call of.. in vain…)
    just trying to motivate myself here cause this game looks awesome and Rich and Jack almost sold it to me..

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I agree.Low Winter Sun is just the best and it really went out with a bang as well.

  • Robby

    I saw it a few times in my yout.

  • tOmy`

    Same here. I didn’t see it… well, in 5-ish years, I would say. I just never thought of it as being that bad. Then again, I am really scared to give it another go because I have a really fond memories of it (mostly thanks to things outside of the movie)… I don’t wanna end up hating it.

  • tOmy`

    Jeeeez, capslock much? Bet you voted for Palin, you misogynist ISIS 14yo.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Remove skeleton.

  • Robby

    There are some things to like about it. I think it has a really good soundtrack. The Shins, Iron & Wine, Thievery Corporation. Unfortunately Natalie Portman doesn’t take her clothes off at any point.

  • Robby

    I don’t know anything bout politics, I’m just a stupid American.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I think Rich and Jack are having a “who can be paler” competition…

  • Robby

    I don’t know who won, but we’re all the losers.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I saw it like three times. I didn’t get the first time, second time tricked my self into liking, third I kinda hated it.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Ohhwwhwhwhwwrwrwr. 🙁 Think Michael Bay needs interns?

  • Mark Erickson

    Like Jack pointed out, there very much is a manual with all the controls in it. Also, in the Hunter’s Dream (the main hub of the game) there are messages that teach you all the controls as well. Also, the game does give you objectives pretty regularly, it just doesn’t flash them in your face.

    Early on a note says “Seek paleblood to transcend the hunt,” and you can ask NPCs about what that means and look for it. An NPC tells you about the chalice down below and says maybe you should look for it. The same NPC says that the workshop tools are missing, trying to lead you to look for them.

    Everything’s there, it’s just not blown up in your face with a big prompt that says: HEY, GO DO THIS! or HEY, DID YOU KNOW YOU PRESS R1 TO SWING YOUR WEAPON? The game has a tutorial, it has objectives, and all the stuff with leveling up or upgrading that isn’t explained is pretty easy to figure out or, really, not even needed to beat the game your first time around.

  • tOmy`

    I am not sure where are you from, so here is something that may explain a little bit of background:

    You know, when this movie came, Czechoslovakia (you are one of those, ain’t ya?) never heard of the word “hipster” before. Quite honestly, we are all hipsters here, to some degree. Like, you know, we like books. And we wear weird shit on us. So this movie came here before we were even interested in giving it these weird, random labels that ultimately ended up meaning something else.

    Sure, Garden State is a hipster movie. But what exactly is bad about it? I really wanna give it another view now, just to try and figure out what is it that makes people so angry towards it. It’s fucking harmless, romantic, odd, artsy fartsy movie.

    In immortal words of Steve Hughes upon hearing someone saying “I hate Enya”: “You hate Enya? How can you hate Enya? George Bush is alive for fuck sake. If you hate, hate positively.”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Does your beer have beaver piss in it? Otter piss?

    I can’t remember.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I’ve seen it twice… Do I hate it? I don’t know… I’m ambibilint.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What’s a Yout?

  • tOmy`

    It was a beaver piss. Apparently, it is some sort of errrm… well, moonshine would be a good term, as it is both illegal and a spirit. It tasted like… burning wood? It was really soft (despite being very strong), strong odor, aftertaste lasting for ages… but it was quite pleasant.

  • tOmy`

    Sounds like a classic case of oldschool RPGs. Talk to people, think and you will shag the princess.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s hard to tell, because Jack is against a black background, and Rich blue.

    I remember the Transformer 3-TV video, and Rich got sunburnt, and by next video, he was pale again.

    Poor guy would have to get skin cancer to get any color to his pretty cheeks.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    She finally saw a PR episode in it’s entirety and decided to bail.

  • tOmy`

    “So this is what are we making?! You must be fucking shitting me! This relationship is over!”

  • Robby

    Sorry, two yoooooouuuuuuths.

  • tOmy`

    Go back to my “music-masturbation” reviews.

  • tOmy`

    As long as you can lay down on a Chevy and hose yourself down with a cold water, you can be his intern alright.

    Just don’t talk in long sentences, he can get very confused.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    A bit of French whore makeup might do the trick. Clearly just saying the word “blood” over and over is not a sufficient cure for anem… I just noticed: WHAT the HELL is Jack wearing on his pinky finger?!

  • tOmy`

    Good catch! What the hell is that?!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Something from the Hipster Dollar Store…? D:
    *the quavering*

  • tOmy`

    http://i.imgur.com/1CqsjtI.png

    You can take a look. It does seems to be… an accessory of some kind. I am kinda hoping it is some sort of an inside joke to the “Hand of Fate”, because if not, that is one horribly useless and annoying accessory to have on your finger.

    And that is coming from a cheerleader who sometimes wears nailpolish.

  • Robby

    Garden State is harmless. But it’s one of those movies that will come up when I’m talking to someone who isn’t a film snob like I am. They might say they really like or even love it, and that’s totally fine. As long as they also know that what they like is objectively of low quality. Things we call guilty pleasures, of which I also have some!

    I don’t think I’ve ever said I hate Garden State. It’s a movie, after all, and for any piece of entertainment, I can choose to not watch it and ignore it. Sometimes it’s unavoidable though. Like when I’m on Reddlemiddins dot com and some dirty Czechoslovakian is trying to tell me they get all nostalgic thinkin bout Garden State.

    As for what specifically is terrible about it, it’s just one of those indie movies that can’t take a breath between screams of how indie it is. The dialog is pseudo-intellectual, Natalie Portman has an African exchange student (how indie!) for a…brother? Or something, I don’t really remember. Zach Braff’s friend invented silent velcro and NASA bought it from him (indie!), they discuss Aldous Huxley while one of them digs a grave (???) and mispronounce his name, Natalie Portman has some sort of medical condition that I don’t remember, but is quirky and does strange things (but she’s so cute! Indie!). I haven’t seen it in years and years, so I get fuzzy on the rest. But I remember every scene starting and ending with me rolling my eyes because someone wrote and directed this thinking it was so clever.

    WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT GARDEN STATE???

  • tOmy`

    Oh…. now you made me remember things I pretty much forgot about the movie.

    Fuck.

    You may have a point there.

  • tOmy`

    You know what, fuck this, I am seriously off to the bed now and tomorrow: IT IS A GARDEN STATE TIME. Oh yea. I am gonna rewatch it.

    Bet you gonna wish I was talking about Justified or music again.

    (It’s all Robby’s fault, btw. Because they bomb terrorists or something. Fucking Taco Bell and shit.)

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I would almost approve if the rubber hand was wearing another tinier rubber hand on its own pinky finger, but only if those were two different products that he had to purchase individually.

  • Harry Charles

    jack is right, rich is a big whiny baby.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Get your wallpaper-matching shirt on for the occasion!

  • Robby

    If you have fond memories of it, just don’t watch it. There’s nothing wrong with that. All the porno tapes I’ve made are reallllllly embarrassing.

  • tOmy`

    I may have heard a lot of weird shit on this webzone lately, but this one is very close to taking a cake.

    Well played, Jennifer, and good night.

  • Harry Charles

    Rich reminds me of my roommates girlfriend who thirty seconds into every movie asks “What is happening?” “Who is That?” “What does that mean?” WATCH THE MOVIE!!!!

  • Robby

    I guess this is goodbye then. It’s likely rewatching Garden State is going to kill you. I won’t come to your funeral. I will pour a blood vial on the curb for my fallen homie tho.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Blood nights and Hunter’s dreams! Or sumtin.

  • Bubs

    Guys I have some seriously bad news. There will never be another Plinkett review.
    Mr. Plinkett killed himself outside a Vegas Casino! Authorities suspect it had something to do with his ex-wife, Bambi.
    http://www.reviewjournal.com/news/las-vegas/suicide-m-resort-blamed-loss-free-buffet-life

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jessi has returned to her home planet.

  • The Summer of George

    So, who would win in a fight? Jack or Rich?

  • InAFreeCountry

    If only it wasn’t a goddamn PS4 exclusive.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    another Rich Evans classic.

    https://youtu.be/OTf-_FnGz68?t=203

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Rich. no contest.

  • Ogrot

    Imagine a third person action game whose combat behaves more like a well structured 3d full fledged fighter game with all the counters, combos, and wiff punishments that come with that genre of gaming with rpg stats to determine what your fighter does. That is essentially the heart of fromsoft games.

    On top of that studying enemy animations and attack patterns is a huge key to success. Like many fighting games timing of attacks and playing strengths and weaknesses of enemies is really key.

    As a veteran of Dark souls and Dark Souls 2 I’ve rarely had a problem with large enemies fucking up the camera. Except a few times getting cornered, but getting cornered by a poise breaking heavy is end of match anyway (as well as your own damn fault) so being able to see well is moot at that point. Usually your giant bosses are staged in pretty large arenas. And the camera never suddenly does weird shit because you are underneath a special bit of wall.

  • Palpatine

    Hate it? I live in it!

  • Palpatine

    Looks like William Shakesman decided to write Episode I:
    http://www.amazon.com/William-Shakespeares-Forsooth-Phantom-Menace/dp/1594748063/

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Tap X to fight.

  • Jason Ross

    Moby is very sage-like in this one.

  • Robby

    This is why I love Bloodborne. I’ve been stuck on the blood-starved beast for days. All of a sudden it just clicked, and I defeated it almost flawlessly.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Tap X to view.

    Press RS to stop viewing.

    Press X to fight monster.

  • dejectedchuckle

    The fuck? Wasn’t the crocodile brain one complaining about too many button prompts and loud and obvious tutorials like 2 videos ago?

    Anyway, good video. Lion and Crocodile should disagree more often. I wont be picking up a next generation console for a while (years?) but if I get a PS4 I will probably pick up this.

  • andypants1989

    I saw it. It was a laughable abomination. It was like someone gave a pretentious emo eighth grader a couple of million dollars to make the first draft of his terrible screenplay into a movie. Visually it was a fourth-rate imitation of Spike Jonze. It had some of the most cloyingly terrible dialogue ever, the symbolism was obvious and the writing generally tried way too hard to be meaningful. At one point the main characters LITERALLY scream into an abyss. I mean, if you don’t find that an insult to your intelligence then maybe you don’t have very much. I actually think it’s a few gags and a slightly less painfully slow edit away from functioning as a scathing parody / satire of mumblecore films. It represents all of the cliches of these kinds of movies and blows them all up to a massive scale. Annoying quirky MPDG, damaged female character who needs a man to take care of her, ignorant self-righteous demonising of pharmaceutical drugs, daddy issues, absurdly exaggerated tragedy, spoilt white dude who feels he’s hard done by, I could go on all day. It’s one of the worst fucking movies I’ve ever seen.

  • Palpatine

    Press X to pay respects.

  • Dickturds

    GET GUD!

    Seriously though, this game IS a console seller. I was going to get a Xbone, but once I heard that fromsoft had this coming out for PS4 only, that made my choice. I will state though that I’m a HUGE fan of DS1 and DS2 (Which, major lulz on dropping points into resistance) but this is exactly what I love.

    The story is barely there, but if you seek it, you find it. I’ve barely begun to crack into this game but I’m loving every part of it so far.

  • Palpatine

    Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

  • SkaMP

    You’re fine if you just max resistance though, if you have enough resistance you really don’t need to buff any other stat more than one or two points, and only when you’ve got spare points after resistance is capped.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s written or re written by a writer right here in Portland. Should I shake him by the shoulders and tell him to stop?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Guys, I assume most of you are Star Wars fans so can anyone help explain Grieve Tan to me? A friend of mine showed it to me today and good lord it is…well I don’t know what it is.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What’s it like to not only be evil but also live in the hell known as Newark, New Jersey?

  • Bubs

    It’s the internet doing what it does best: Shitting all over itself and saying “lol umad?”

  • SkaMP

    I guess No More Heroes comes pretty close, even though it seems like a fun game that tutorial at the start that asks you a million times whether you want to continue with the tutorial does seem to explain most of the game. Leaving only the story and the style of the game to be really “discovered”

  • Palpatine

    I actually live in a quaint little town called Swedesboro, which is in South Jersey.

  • Palpatine

    Which Portland?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No I’m not just disturbed. Also where are his pantaloons that Frank promised him?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Oregon one

  • SkaMP

    Oh yeah I hate that piece of shit!… its a movie… right?

  • Palpatine

    I’m afraid to ask what Grieve Tan is.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The author’s bio just makes me want to smash something beautiful.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine
  • Wizard Phoenix

    What is wrong about Portland, Mister Cream?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t know what is either. I can’t tell you as an anime fan or a Star Wars fan. I live in the weirdest city on earth and I still can’t explain.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It’s the bio in toto – the perfect life.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Is this the fastest a comment section has gone off-topic?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Press X to +1 Palpatine

    Edit: Or is it Press ^ to +1….

    Holy crap, it’s an actual prompt, I’m headed to the 5th dimension, ciao!

  • amplifact

    seems like a genuine improvement to Grievous’s character if you ask me. it’d almost make as good filler as Twinkies.

  • Palpatine
  • This was great.

  • Palpatine

    It’s gonna be great.

  • pete smith

    Is it true that japanese and morons have hard time playing first person games, so there is overflow of these shitty third person beat em ups (always with shitty vamera that doesnt work)

  • PrivatePyle

    I wonder if Rich and Jack ever played Demon souls or darksouls 1 & 2, since if they love this they would absolutely love the predecessors of Bloodborne.

  • pete smith

    40 sec loading screen for something that looks absolute shit? Oh boy you ps4 folks got such great exclusives. LOL

  • Boehm

    “Fuck my nut sack”- Rich Evans 2015

  • Mark Bisone

    Aside from the hipster Atari 2600 carts I program in my spare time, I couldn’t give less of a fuck about video games. However, I gotta say that Jack Packard is killin’ it lately at RLM, just in general. His whole Learn-Things-By-Fucking-Around speech in this episode kind of transcends the video game discussion, and the back and forth about this with Rich was pretty intriguing.

    It makes sense that Rich wants to pore through textbook to discover all the moves, as I imagine he does for all those slow-paced, math-y games he plays. And it also makes sense that Jack would want to just dive in and fuck around, because he has young kids and is constantly reminded what “play” is.

    Everything is illuminated.

  • marko112kg

    Anything to pass Monkey Island.

  • Rowol

    You say “40 seconds” as if it’s a 40 second wait that only occurs once.

    It wouldn’t be surprising if half of your first few hours of game play are taken up by these 40 second interruptions.

  • Concerned Citizen

    I really liked that discussion. I am more of a Rich Evans-type myself, where I want a manual and a separate tutorial section, but I can see Jack’s point.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    They did try Dark Souls in one of the early Pre Rec streams. They get terrible advise from the chat, and hilarity ensues. Even Jay tries to play for a bit, but he got frustrated. How Rich Evans ended that stream continues to be one of my favorite Pre Rec moments.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Hand to hand combat? Rich. Even Jack admitted as much in some stream long ago.

    Also, Rich Evans has his sonic wail/laugh that can level an entire town block. Jack doesn’t seem to have any superpowers, at least not that we know of. So, vantage Rich Evans.

  • omitted

    That is the first step. Acceptance will cum later.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    gr8 b8 m8 i r8 it 8/8

  • Djorge

    nicely memed

  • dollar store cashier wife

    too fresh too spicy

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Seen it? I haven’t even screwed it yet!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Don’t forget the outro song.

  • DarkFluffy

    …you wouldn’t have to buy a PS4 extra. Cheers Sony!
    But there is hope if you a patient fellow: In 10 years you’ll may be able to play it on emulator on your PC! ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

  • DarkFluffy

    Give it a try if you have the chance to play it. It is more about how to deal with the opponents than it want to scare you. But it is a good decision to stay away from Dead Space. In time it will become a normal shooter for you but the first hours will be the tomb for your nerfes. Visceral is really good in building up tension until you have to scream… .

  • DarkFluffy

    twitch is full of japanese playing Battlefield….
    So what is the meaning of “true” for you?

  • Well, unless you want to wield a bog ass sword. 😉

  • NotRickBerman

    That’s gonna be great.

  • NotRickBerman

    Grieve tan is what you call otherwise beautiful women who try to go out of their way to look like Snooki from Jersey Shore by changing their skin tone to the same hue of orange used on traffic cones.

  • Snowjaws & The Seven Gropers

    Natalie

  • Snowjaws & The Seven Gropers

    That’s what’s the Bathroom Attendant greets you with at The Manhole

  • Snowjaws & The Seven Gropers

    O’ Anakin, Anakin, wherefore art thou Anakin

  • tOmy`

    The worst kinda hangover: Your head slightly hurts and there is a copy of Garden State laying on your hard drive.

  • DarkFluffy

    “you are free to use all of our hunters equipment…even the puppet, if you want. ;)”

  • Like Icare

    It’s brilliant in it’s mindfuckery is what it is.

    It’s a moe-anthropomorphized cyborg alien, with various body defects which translate into characteristic moe traits that just make perfect sense.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moe_anthropomorphism
    Like the way Grieve-tan wears braces and has asthma, which also makes her a kegadoru – an injured girl stock-character.
    Or fetish – depending on who you ask.

    The image above tries to make sense of Grievous’ actions in RotS – if he were a tsundere girl with a thing for Obi-Wan.
    The whole lizard vs wheel chase scene… as a story of infatuation between a cyborg reptile alien and Obi-Wan.
    Oh… so like… they were flirting… and then it got rough… but someone forgot the safe word… oh… OH…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=f2944Gwqlvs#t=90

    And if you think in Shinto (You can not think in English and then transpose.) – it makes perfect sense that EVERYTHING, alive or inanimate or even ideas and concepts (like Constitution Girls manga – where acts of the Japan’s Constitution are represented as girls) has its kami i.e. spirit.
    http://www.deculture.es/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/constitution-girls.jpg
    Or the way countries are represented as bishonen in Hetalia: Axis Powers.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzkZSvF1u4Y

    Sorta the way Greeks and Romans had an anthropomorphized god or goddess for everything – only various -tans are all girls.

  • SkaMP

    Nah there’s really no need, once you have enough resistance you can face-tank everything with hand to hand combat, try it out!
    trust me; I’m an asshole

  • Michael Collins

    This game is not interesting to me, but I’m glad those 2 liked it, just because.

  • David Anderson

    Ya, pretty much, because this game is hard, which means plenty of dying, which means plenty of time spent on aggravation. Not to mention scene changes and levelling up. So that 40 seconds is MULTIPLIED by like 100, so its really like 4000 seconds. 4000 seconds of staring at a blank screen will ruin my gaming experience.

  • Percy Gryce

    I couldn’t give less of a fuck about video games.

    But I have seen you rather deftly employ some video-game slang about “boss” fights and such and there was some complicated Mortal Kombat (I guess) reference not too long ago. Or is that just your general polymathy as opposed to any allegiance to Gamers (with or without the # Gate)?

  • Evil Octopus

    I said a while back I was done with PreRec. I just found some of the complaints and prior reviews… shittty.

    But like an abused lover, I keep coming back for more. And I’m glad I did! You all have really stepped up your game on these last reviews and I feel you are hitting your groove. Keep up the good work.

    Also please consider streaming Darkest Dungeon. You can even name the characters (and there is permadeath and a lot of it) so that will be fun for those watching. Peace. Death to humans.

  • Palpatine

    Same here. Even though I don’t hate Pre-Rec, and despite the fact I’m not I’m a gamer, I really liked this episode. It was pretty refreshing to see them talk positively about a major released game.

  • Bubs

    I agree with you. I think I’m one of Pre-Rec’s biggest detractors, but this episode was a big turnaround in quality. Things worth discussing were discussed, valid points were brought to the table, and everyone can take something away from it.

  • Stephen Norman

    In what sense does this look like “absolute shit”?

  • Red Skeleton

    I was so shocked to hear them talking positively about a game I spent the first half trying to figure out of they were sincere or on the take from From Software.

  • Red Skeleton

    Had a VERY nice dinner… by myself while the kids watched. No, I’m not being a meanie, but apparently my steak, rocket and potato salad dinner was just too pedestrian for their refined palates. Dinner Part 2: Same Shit You’re Used To is currently in the works.

  • Palpatine

    They usually talk positively about indie-games, so this came as a big surprise.

  • That’s the allure of From Software. I love the Souls series, partly because of the obtuseness.

  • Robby

    Was it as special as you remembered?

  • Robby

    Can’t even avoid the failtrolling at this site? What is the world cumming to.

  • Robby

    Sounds like my mom. She has an eerie sixth sense about how to ask a question RIGHT before it gets answered. I’ve learned to preemptively tell her that she’s going to be confused or have questions at first, and just to wait for them to be explained.

  • Like Icare

    It might be just the allure of watching someone eat a rocket for dinner.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Oh. My. Goodness.

    My husband is actually reading the comments section. He liked the Pre-Rec episode so much, and upon hearing that we’re actually having a discussion on Jack vs. Rich play styles, he now wants to read what we have to say.

    This is so weird seeing RLM on both computers. It’s like a fucking miracle. He’ll never up vote any of us or make an account, but at least he’s looking!

  • Bubs

    So… we should stop talking about those nude pics you posted?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The ones you shot? They weren’t that good, so now I’m posting them just to scare people.

  • Bubs

    I told you it’s fuckin hard to see with these things. You try composing a shot with two Hubble telescopes on your face.

  • James Earl Jones

    Have you guys watched the new Force Awakens teaser? Comments?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngElkyQ6Rhs

  • tOmy`

    New Star Wars teas-

    Oh, really? Someone beat me to it? Look at that smug face on James below me. Tststs.

  • tOmy`

    I was dodging it till now.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It still feels like Star Wars to me. I’m glad they’re not spoiling anything with the trailers.

  • tOmy`

    Yay for Nazi stormtroopers and the ballbot!

    Yikes for everything else!

    Harrison seems to be pleased, tho, so that’s nice.

  • You know what this calls for? Another “Rich Evans Reacts To” Video.

    The way I felt was: Oh, hey, remember that ship and that song? Remember that guy, he was evil but cool? Some shit happens, Boba Fett’s son/stock bounty hunter character(?) gets shown and we get Gran Solo. It was OK.

  • Robby

    I thought we all peer-pressured him into making an account back during the New Year’s stream. I must have gotten too wasted to remember correctly.

  • Palpatine

    I HAVE TO PLAY WITH MY STAR WARS TOYS THAT I NEVER EVEN OPENED!!! In all seriousness though, this was a pretty damn good trailer, and it actually felt like Star Wars. Old man Ford made laugh my ass off when I saw him, and I think the trailer relied way too much on nostalgia imagery as well. But other than that, I was really impressed with the trailer. But our opinions don’t matter, only the opinions of RLM do.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of Gran Solo being down with his homies, or whatever:

    Does it mean we gonna see Corellia? Or did someone fucked up and they believe his home is Tatooine?

  • Bubs

    Of course we had to dig up Grandpa Han. I hope Harrison Ford doesn’t sleep through this like he did Ender’s Game. Also, the Force is hereditary now? Like male pattern baldness and certain types of cancer? Any hope I had that this might be more than just another typical schlockbuster is quickly evaporating.

    All that being said, this looks 800,000 times better than the Phantom Menace.

    Lastly, I would like to point to my near-psychic prediction which I made 4 months ago and has now come to nearly full fruition.

    https://disqus.com/home/discussion/redlettermedia1/rich_evans_reacts_to_the_star_wars_the_force_awakens_teaser/#comment-1722897274

  • Duhn-duhn-duhn. I guess we’ll find out in the film. I’m sure most people won’t know what you’re talking about and they won’t care, though.

  • tOmy`

    I dunno, Palpy, while watching this trailer, the first thing that crossed my mind was:

    “Man… I don’t think I can take Star Wars seriously anymore.” I am scared. Is this some kind of growing up that I didn’t hear about yet?

  • tOmy`

    No worries, I had to Google it. I just remember he wasn’t from Tatooine. (A part of me was hoping for his home planet being Alderaan, cuz that would be even more hilarious.)

  • James Earl Jones

    I’m scared too. S’all I’m sayin’.

    EDIT: Actually, I seriously hope that they only use the old cast for this first movie. To kind of, you know, pass the torch.
    They’re getting too old for this sort of thing.

  • James Earl Jones

    I’m scared too. S’all I’m sayin’.

    EDIT: Actually, I seriously hope that they only use the old cast for this first movie. To kind of, you know, pass the torch.
    They’re getting too old for this sort of thing.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I wish he did, but alas, he has not.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I wish he did, but alas, he has not.

  • Palpatine

    I’m a little scared too. I mean, when The Phantom Menace trailer came out, everyone got excited. But then you saw the movie:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOiE0LCu6J0

  • Palpatine

    I’m a little scared too. I mean, when The Phantom Menace trailer came out, everyone got excited. But then you saw the movie:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOiE0LCu6J0

  • Speaking of nostalgia, I do hope John Boyega is not Lando Calrissian’s son because that would be REALLY cheap.

  • Bubs

    I like that Han is wearing the same shirt he was wearing 40 fucking years ago. Where’s his Indiana Jones hat?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The spouse knows what you’re talking about.

    You’re not alone!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Maybe Chewwie makes his grumpiness go away.

    This means Chewbacca should be in every Harrison Ford movie.

  • Spoilers, he had to google it.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Nope! Han Solo is Corellian. He’s a Star Wars nerd through and through.

  • Nah, he can only do it… https://youtu.be/A9TXtTg4qik?t=26s

  • Bubs

    Indiana Jones and the Temple of Kashyyk? Cowboys & Wookies? Chewbacca’s Game? I’d watch ’em all.

  • I meant tOmy.

  • tOmy`

    I think I remember it just because there are “Corellian Frigates / Corvettes” in Star Wars universe – and quite possibly, Han Solo was talking about them being from his home planet in Thrawn Trilogy.

  • Palpatine

    Also, is it me, or does the Star Destroyer around the 30 second mark look more like a matte painting than a CG model?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Maybe Tommy Lee Jones was Chewbacca in The Fugitive, and they just look so much alike we can’t tell the difference.

  • Bubs

    It definitely was. The sharp edges and the very slight blurriness near the “destroyed parts” is a dead give away.

  • Palpatine

    That’s fine with me! In fact, there’s a good amount of practical looking effects in the trailer.

  • Come to think of it. Tommy Lee Jones does look like a shaved animal-man. https://backalleysoapbox.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/shaved-cat-2.jpg

  • Palpatine

    You know what? Fuck Star Wars! ‘Cause we got the Batfleck V. Alienman trailer on Monday! Here’s a preview for it:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w852aRuN380

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I remember watching one of the Star Trek: The Star Trek behind the scenes things, and the set designer admitted they made part of the transporter room with Ikea glass soap dishes. They gave just the right amount of reflection without looking cheap or “Earthly.”

    So, I’m really excited about the practical effects for this movie.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the destroyer at 1:20 also looks like it could be a miniature but I’d wait before I said definitely.

  • Palpatine

    Even the Prequels, believe it or not, used practical effects.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Well, I’ll raise you and show a new damn Mad Max: Fury Road trailer!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7_hKYb7CUg

    So many trailers!

  • Bubs

    Am I the only one who thinks it’s a little unfair to have a normal human vs a space alien that can move so quickly he can time travel? Does anyone care? NOPE.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-G4Y8JtT1j0

  • Hank_Henshaw

    You know some people are actually doing right now what Rich Evans was parodying in that video. :-/

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Teasers for trailers for sneak peaks for sound bites for movies coming out in 10 months to 2 years from now!

  • RLMkeepitup

    probably on webcam with someone paying to watch, because humans

  • Yeah… I guess it’s time to pop the cherry of that R5D4… What?

  • Ogrot

    WELL FOR STARTERS IT DON’T HAVE NO FUCKING MINIMAP OR A DOT TELLING ME WHERE TO GO! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHERE TO GO WITHOUT A MIRACULOUS RETICULE GUIDING MY EVERY STEP? ITS FUCKING RIDICULOUS ENOUGH THAT HERE IN THE 21ST FUCKING CENTURY I ONLY HAVE THIS HELP IN VIDEO GAMES WHEN WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO CREATING MAGICAL GUIDING DOTS EVERYWHERE TO ENSURE NO ONE IS LOST EVER! I CANT EVEN LEAVE THE HOUSE BECAUSE OF THIS BULLSHIT! BECAUSE I CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHICH BUTTON TO PUSH TO OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR! YESTERDAY I GOT TRAPPED IN MY YARD BECAUSE I COULDN’T CLEAR A CHEST HIGH FENCE WITH MY LIMITED JUMP THAT IS VERY UNRESPONSIVE BTW.

  • James Earl Jones

    To an extent, yes. For some ships and racing pods, and some creatures too.
    But they also used a lot of crappy CG, to fuck things up a bit.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    They’re not canon anymore, Palpy.

    Besides, painting green screens takes a lot of work.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I was diggin it until the end when grampa Ford showed up lookin constipated.

  • A shameless repost. Rich Evans reacts to Rich Evans reacts. Thanks Taco. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-Vilh5K8BM

  • dollar store cashier wife

    that logo at the end looks like a 14 year old kid’s attempt at photoshop. it’s amazing how hollywood can’t get good artists for a movie’s promotional material when the budget is like 200 million dollars.

  • Meh as fuck.

  • James Earl Jones

    Man, I’m a fucking SW fanatic, but I’m way more excited for this movie than for The Force Awakens.
    Or am I? I don’t know anymore. But Fury Road looks promising.

  • I loved that series.
    Riddler “What comes out of the barrel of a gun”?
    Batman “INJUSTICE! The tools of cowards and criminals!”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    As long as there’s no weird child society looking for their savior, I’m cool.

    My fear is this turning into the Charlize Theron show with Mad Max hanging around in the background, because there seems to be a lot more Charlize than Tom Hardy in the trailers thus far.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I don’t know much about Star Wars, but I’m surprised the remnants of the Empire seem to have hold on, and remain quite strong. So, less like the nazis (which weren’t really an empire), and more like the Romans, who still had the Byzantine Empire well after the Western side had disintegrated.

    I guess it’s easier to retreat, hide and regroup, when you have an entire galaxy to do so.

  • TBH, I liked the part of the trailer that showed the Gibson films more.

  • Palpatine

    “Chewie, we’re at the retirement home.”

  • RLMkeepitup

    spoilers at the end batfleck and superboy hook up, and louis lane finally dies of confusion. whoever wins , we loose

  • Palpatine

    Screw you guys! You guys along with Mike, Jay, and Rich Evans are all shills for Marvel!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    aquaman>every marvel character

  • You’re just jealous that you’re not going to be in the next Star Wars, Palpy.

  • A bold statement that.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    meow!

  • Palpatine

    If Lord Vader’s broken mask can appear, why can’t my broken sunglasses?

  • Because none of the special editions had you wearing them. George erased that from the canon. FOREVER.

  • Palpatine
  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Batman’s suit has grumpy face on it.

    His damn suits needs botox.

  • omitted

    off*

  • I think it’s just warped because of the asschin.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Batman is not a normal human. What’s really unfair is that every time they have Batman fight someone who is, on paper, more powerful than him, Batman always wins. Always. It’s just stupid. Why even bother to say that Batman is human? I’d rather have DC be honest and admit the Wayne’s were really Daxamites (stronger than kryptonians).

  • Bubs
  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    We really need to check Bruce Wayne’s Midichlorian count.

  • Said the obvious Supes-fan. Also, he’s the GODDAMN BATMAN that’s enough of a reason for him to always win.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Guilty as charged.

    Who wins a race between Flash and Superman? Flash, barely.

    A race between Flash and Batman? Batman.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    only if you’re a marvel shill!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    That’s more on the writer than the character. Smart writers can use Batman’s intelligence to outwit his opponents, and there’s plenty of tension as you wait to see how Batman’s gonna get out of this scenario.

    Other writers make a BatGod story because they’re not smart enough to do otherwise.

  • Ahem, like Frank Miller? OH SNAP.

  • I hate them all, equally.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Batman is faster than a speeding bullet.

    Get your fucking head checked.

  • James Earl Jones

    http://i.imgur.com/05Jxj5P.gif

    InB4 “But it should be ******* something!” by omitted.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Greatest Green Lantern ever: Hal Jordan? John Stewart? Kyle Rayner?

    Nope. Batman.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    same actually.

  • HeftyJo

    Screw this Bloodborne crap. Post a video of Rich stroking his droid STAT! I FUCKING LOVE STAR WARS!!!!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    So many droids are losing their virginity as we speak.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Batman can talk to sea creatures, too.

    I heard he wore the infinity gauntlet and fought the Living Tribunal single-handed.

    He can bounce from DC to Marvel universes by mind-controlling the artists like Freddie WIlliams II.

    Batman.

  • omitted

    I always like an audience! *winks at Polar Otter*

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I wonder if we all mailed in Jar Jar toys, the RLM team would set up a bonfire and nuke them all.

    Health and Safety would come by because of the smell, but would approve the action because of the good RLM is doing for mankind.

  • They’re stylistically designed to be that way.

  • Anything is possible these days. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3VAg_RtuPk

  • Like Icare

    It looks like a lightsaber with tiny lightsabers for a lightsaber guard.

    I.e. “Look how cool this is” moment just after the “stupid gas” has been pumped into the theater.

    Remember the scavenger midgets on that planet, combing the desert for anything of value?
    But here they just left an entire star destroyer lying around.
    Yeah… all that space-grade metal and space weapons that can level cities and all that other stuff one could find or scavenge on a bajilion-credit star destroyer… fuck that. Let it rot.

    Lazy and stupid writing for the sake of cool.
    Stuff like that is usually not an isolated incident but a trend.
    Now we know that it will be like that throughout the movie.

    Like how Chewbacca has aged at least half a century since the pointless cameo in RotS – not that we could tell.
    But he still uses his at least half a century old bowcaster.
    Because cool. And because lazy.

    Oh… and did you notice how imperial academy standards have degraded so much that imperial stormtroopers now can’t even do an about face properly and in unison, turning instead at various speeds and looking in various directions, and they do it in such a way that they turn their asses towards their commanding officers and their flag because it would be much cooler to show stormtrooper helmets and the imperial flag in that shot than the back of their helmets and the flag?

    Well… Your brain did…

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Absolutely. Too bad writers like that are few and far between. Batman used to be my second favorite, but DC has made it so that I kinda hate him now (and the rest of the DCU, for that matter).

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I liked it a lot. I might have came in my pants.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Part time

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Maybe Batman should just fight the Sharknado while babysitting the Muto’s spawn in Godzilla. The parents died, but secretly gave up their child to Batman to protect him from harm.

    His name is Damian. He’s kind of a bitch. New issues to be released next year!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What the hell is an aluminum falcon?!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fuck that. Why was Lando wearing Han’s clothes in the end of Empire?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I’m not clicking that. My childhood must be preserved!

  • Like Icare

    I fear a possible heavy-handed “stop exploiting women you male chauvinist dicks this war would have never happened if women were ruling the word because something-something check your male privilege” message and the lack of actual story to go with all that cool shown in the trailers.

    There’s like… enough cool for 5 movies there.
    Too much cool will kill a movie.
    Just as sure as none at all.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The funniest thing about Frank Miller’s DKR is that he originally intended it to be satire, deriding what he felt was the direction “cape” comics were heading into. As it was released, everyone took it too seriously, worst of all, including Frank Miller.

  • It’s just Nintendo characters.

  • Swamp ass. I mean, Han probably lives on the Millenium Falcon, must must have had spares. It was either that or someone in wardrobe fucked up big time.

  • Nukie*

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This feels like Star Wars. The prequels didn’t. There’s a dirty and gritty feel to the look while also looking new seeing how this takes place after Return of The Jedi. I like Luke’s hand and his narration, I like how they are paying homage to me and Andrew’s home boy Revan with the look of Kylo Ren, and there are ton of practical effects. But my favorite part was the Woo that Llewyn Davis said because it shows that this movie will have dark moments and take itself seriously but remembers Star Wars is meant to be fun.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Be cool about fire safety.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Maybe that new bad guy is wearing your old robes?

  • Like Icare

    He IS a king who rules two thirds of the planet and if anyone ever thought of it could command water creatures living in water inside living beings.

    They did remember that he commands microscopic organisms in the sea for the purposes of Flashpoint Paradox.

  • Palpatine

    The Prequels look too polished and clean. This new movie, like you said, has a more gritty look to it.

  • What the hell is that? It sounds like the name for a rare phenomenon that causes a terrible universe crossover plot. Just as bad as Resonance Cascade or Crisis on Infinite Earths.

  • Possibly because of all that sand. It gets everywhere.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But JJ doesn’t forget that technology evolves and looks smoother. It’s a great fine balance that he found in his Star Trek: Fast and Furious films and bringing this element of those films to Star Wars to me is perfection.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *jerks off a droid toy*

  • omitted

    perverted*

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Aquaman is alright. Most people just know him from Superfriends, though. That cartoon makes everyone look bad, but specially Aquaman.

  • Like Icare

    We already saw the Chewbacca’s Game.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mO6M4ngKRp0

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Flashpoint Paradox is where Wonder Woman kills Billy as a kid before he turns into Shazam. It was a Parallel universe where Shazam is the result of multiple kids, and all the kids were just standing by as Billy is stabbed with her sword.

    Wonder Woman and Aquaman are having an affair, and Aquaman’s wife, Mera, is slaughtered by Diana because of jealousy, which leads to a war.

    So yeah. Have fun watching that cartoon!

  • Some of those comic book plots are worse than soaps.

  • Like Icare

    Too much orange-tealing and slick-shinyness and light reflecting off of things for a Star Wars movie.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Ooh, maybe you learned to talk to Darth -Something- after your death to help the Empire rule once more!

    Palpatine will be behind it all!

  • Like Icare

    It’s the official Millennium Falcon Captain’s UniformTM.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The newer animated movies are just so damn dark and broody. I love the older ones, but Flashpoint was the first I got up and walked away from. Too angry adult for my tastes.

  • Hm… Did anybody notice how the TMNT films and the new Spiderman films have basically the same plot? I’m sure they did but this is just worth posting anyway. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIMr7tOLdk0

  • Percy Gryce

    “Chewie, we’re home.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngElkyQ6Rhs

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You’re like the guy who comes to a party bringing utensils when 3 other people also brought utensils.

  • Percy Gryce

    Hey, I’m from the 19/c. What the hell do you want from me?

  • Like Icare

    They were supposed to be home decades ago, in time for the Life Day.

    The kid is probably not even dead anymore, having fallen to his doom from that faulty railing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Celebrate Life Day with us

  • Percy Gryce

    No.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Some cocaine toothache drops wouldn’t have hurt.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t Carrie Fisher isn’t going to be singing.

  • Mark Bisone

    I suppose I’m more like McCarthy’s Judge Holden. This little expedition of ours requires the reconcile of many tongues, so when the need arises I can also speak Dutch, Anime, ancient Anaasází, Esperanto and several regional dialects of Gangsta.

  • Percy Gryce

    Also Samurai Cop is still alive.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Bea Arthur’s corpse is, though.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We’ll have a crappy cartoon with Bobba Fett though

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    How come you didn’t know about Cynthia Rothrock?

    How did you not know?!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa
  • Percy Gryce

    Uh, technically, there are three “y”s in Kashyyyk.

  • Palpatine

    Can you translate the back of the SOS box?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Can you translate the back cover of the SOS box?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And Han with his chin that is more half of his face

  • Percy Gryce

    No, ’cause it’s written in Asian.

  • James Earl Jones

    ………………………what happened?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    No, but did you want a smiling Jesus post instead?

  • Like Icare

    It’s a phenomenon which allows for an Elseworlds-like dark and gritty and more dark story where everyone kills everyone – including Batman shooting people left and right.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • dollar store cashier wife

    MST3K did it first.

  • So, he behaves like the original Batman?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You racist

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Boyhood joke in 3,2,3,4.

  • Like Icare

    Corpses can make wonderful music if fashioned into instruments.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kangling

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Part time

  • You may not have noticed it. But your brain did. https://misantropey.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/angels15.png

  • Post-accident face. They went for a realistic depiction.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You can see Dustin Hoffman and Beatty Warren grow up on screen right before your very own eyes!

    IT’S FUCKING MAGICAL

  • Like Icare

    He probably drinks more.
    Nice take on the Joker though.

    Also, Wonder Woman pulls an Anakin by slaughtering younglings.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    ISHTAR TOOK LONGER TO MAKE THAN THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA!

  • Percy Gryce

    When’s the next berating of Fake Plinkett?

  • Percy Gryce

    When’s the next Animated Plinkett?

  • Like Icare

    It’s teasers all the way down.

    Wait… That wasn’t supposed to come out sounding like THAT.

  • Palpatine

    Hopefully never.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We don’t talk about that crap here. LET’S TALK ABOUT STAR WARS!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    20,000 Dirham for your very own MacGuffin!

  • Percy Gryce

    “This little expedition of ours”–yes, but I feel like we’ve been stuck in a dusty border town now for many months, waiting . . . for what? The corrupt local official, whose palm we have to grease, to make up his mind about us and whether or not to let our party continue on its way, through his checkpoint and out of his jurisdiction.

    His name? Space Cop.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    When’s the next Animated Plinkett? And why did blip stop posting Care Boars?!

  • Like Icare

    That sounds like a Kelly Family song.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4Oprs_ZZYw

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    “Now, witness the power of this fully operational battle station.”

  • Like Icare

    It’s Maltese Falcon Lite – for the generation on the GO!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSd_MCIIKNk

  • Joe

    Rich: I just wish it came with a manual.
    Jack: It does, it comes with a digital manual if you want to learn some of the finer mechanics.
    Rich: I just wish it came with a manual.

    Otherwise though I’m glad you liked the game and I enjoyed the review. Keep up the good work, guys.

  • Percy Gryce

    Hell, in my day, we put the blow right into our soda pop.

  • Rich said in a recent livestream that he knows he was wrong about some things with respect to the ‘tutorial’ but he wanted to get the conversation going and have some sort of dynamic. It kind of worked I guess.

  • Like Icare

    3+2+3+4=12

  • That’s a dick joke waiting to happen. I’m surprised omitted hasn’t picked up on that yet.

  • Palpatine

    Since Percy brought the animated Plinkett show, does anyone here actually like it?

  • Palpatine

    Illuminati confirmed.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    gee-whiz are you some sort of mathematical genius?

  • Like Icare

    Part time.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Give it time. He has to have rest periods in-between each comment.

  • Palpatine

    So, is that a “yes”?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I don’t mind watching them once. I know the RLM team appreciates the work that goes into making each cartoon enough that they even invited the creator to their studio.

    I just wish he’d try something a bit different. Like using HITB quotes to make an episode for a little variety. But that’s just me.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    He’s not 100% comfortable with his decision.

  • My ex wife

    We disable adblock so that The Evans might shw us favor.

    It’s like self flagellation.

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    In case anyone was missing me for some mysterious reason, I’m furiously updating my journal. Will be back in… some time.

    Saw the new teaser btw and liked it quite a bit. A little too much nostagic imagery, but still pretty good. I’m getting more optimistic about this new trilogy.

  • James Earl Jones

    No, not a “yes”. But not a “no”, either.

  • My ex wife

    Ommie for sure.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • James Earl Jones

    Someone has to edit just that bit of the TFA trailer with the “correct” line.

  • Mark Bisone

    Attack of the Clones?

  • My ex wife

    Remember that she will also have to wear Daisy Duke short shorts and be bent over a motorcycle.

  • My ex wife
  • Artemis Strong

    That couch HAS to smell like Rich’s Coke Zero farts.

  • Trask

    Is this the sequel to Garden State?

  • Snake Squeezer

    So calm… Did these pawns run out of coke?

  • Miguel Angel Teran

    is rich evans already choking himself while masterbatign watching the new star wars trailer? I don’t want him to die, he’s nice and funny /人◕ __ ◕人\

  • omitted

    Just chatting with a friend who is having relationship trouble. Women, amirite? Wait…

  • Snake Squeezer

    Lol, old Master Beatty…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s because of Bewbs.

  • omitted

    I always thought it was the vagoogoo.

  • tOmy`

    Aight, had enough of beers to commence: GARDEN STATE LIVE STREAM!

    *A young cheerleader comes back to a movie she used to call her own*

    This is gonna be a long night, I am sorry, but seriously, stop pretending you care about PS4 game. What are you, fucking PS4 gamers?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s amusing how he arranges the disparate Plinkett sound bites, sometimes with old radio serials, to try and have some sort of narrative going.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    link to the stream pls

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I’m a real hero. A real human being.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Will people in the U.S. be offended that the trailer says “This Christmas”? Did anyone stop to think about people from other religions, or atheists? They might get offended.

  • tOmy`

    My live comment stream. But I can turn on my skype and webcam and you can watch me crash.

    Also: Sorry for the delay, while being drunk yesterday, I shut down my [redacted] before [redacted] the whole movie. You will have to give it… well, apparently 38 seconds. Woah.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ohhhhh.I thought you were offering for us to join in your experience of reliving this p.o.s. Sorta like disqus version of BOTW

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • tOmy`

    I am gonna play Pa Kent + Andrew at once. I am gonna keep you updated on my drunken thoughts 24/7… about a movie I used to love…

    It’s gonna be nostalgic. And I am gonna talk a lot about Donnie Darko as well, because if that movie was done today, I dunno what would happen.

  • Actually, it’s the vagino.

  • Snake Squeezer
  • tOmy`

    OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS MOVIE OPENS WITH COLDPLAY SONG?!

  • It should say ‘this Lifeday’, obviously..

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Well Donnie Darko holds up me thinks[rewatched it last year and I liked it almost as much as the first time round]

  • Said the Snake Squeezer.

  • omitted

    Donnie Drunko*

  • tOmy`

    Thanks. I had to turn Coldplay off anyway.

    Hey… that looks fucking awesome! I laughed at loud at: H8. Perfect.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Not even a single frame of footage from the actual film?

    MEHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • tOmy`

    Seen that director’s cut? Any thoughts?

  • Snake Squeezer

    I have to agree. But it is Tarrantino, so…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It ruins everything that made the film good and proves that Richard Kelly lucked out with DD theatrical cut.[it’s been a downward spiral ever since for him]

  • Palpatine

    Plinkett made fun of Garden State in his Titanic review:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRl0cn0Dzdo

  • tOmy`

    So this movie, like any other good romantic comedy, starts with a trip to a graveyard. Unfrtunately, it ain’t Portman’s family, so she can hook up with a professional killer and have a face-off with Gary Oldman. Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Well sure only the teaser itself is lame[which says nothing about the film].I’m gonna see this badboy first chance I get.Django Unchained was one of the few movies I bothered to watch in theatre more then once.Pure unadulterated fun.

  • tOmy`

    Still one of my top jokes from Plinkett reviews actually. I tell it every time someone mentions it.

  • Bubs

    Now, our runner up in the “What will they ruin next?” category:

    http://www.imdb.com/news/ni58514591?ref_=hm_nw_tp1

  • tOmy`

    I loved the living fuck out of Django. Fuck the haters.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of trailers: True Detective season 2 trailer is up. Looks promising.

    Now lemme enjoy my pretentious cancer!

  • Trask

    Why, of all the movies you could choose from, are you watching Garden State? God, I hate that movie.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I need a hundred black coffins for a hundred Django haters.

  • tOmy`

    It’s a long story, really. It came up when I was around 16 / 17, I loved it. I watched it after break up, then as a joke with my fuck buddy (totally high) etc etc.

    I have great memories connected with that mo-

    Oh, wait, there was some kind of a drunken situation yesterday, when I promised I am gonna rewatch it again. So… that is your answer.

  • omitted

    What is this, CinemaSins?

  • tOmy`

    Now that is the fucking appropriate answer, n[redacted]r.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Denis Villeneuve is a fantastic director who’s unlike Ridley Scott never faltered in his creative output.The script writter isn’t Damon Lindelof either.Too bad I don’t give two flying fucks about BR and it’s legacy…

  • Snake Squeezer

    nagger?

  • tOmy`

    Nope. But I can be your sin in a cinema.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    that was up a week ago slowpoke.

  • tOmy`

    Right off the bat I can see a reason why I liked Garden State and why it sucks at the same moment: We have very, very similar dry humor in Czech Rep. There is this movie (me and Tapey were talking about) call Loners – Garden State is like taking the awkward, social, dark humor premise and then, in the end of each line, you suck out any life of it and replace it with boredom and forced bullshit.

    These “jokes” in Garden State were never played out as jokes, it’s… just awkward. But I get the style so far.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I was watching Bobby Fischer Against The World last night. Gossling needs to play Fischer in a biopic. Yes.

  • Bubs

    He looks like the person they invented the word “Hipster” for.
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0898288/

    On another note, he’s only done a handful of real movies. Saying he’s never faltered is a bit premature.

  • tOmy`

    I recall watching it on LAN. I think.

    I had a weird deja-vu today, watching it.

  • Snake Squeezer

    New Jersey IS a pretty good joke.

  • tOmy`

    I hope Tony Soprano didn’t hear you.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    quality not quantity is the mojo

  • Snake Squeezer

    Do you think he’s ready yet?

  • tOmy`

    I… I am really religiously trying to figure out whether this was a reference…

  • Snake Squeezer

    It’s supposed to be a reference to the last line of the series. Maybe they used different words, idk, been a while.

  • tOmy`

    You know what, fuck this movie. You were right, I was wrong. I ain’t high / have the great moment to watch this. This is fucking boring and awful.

    But what I said before stands true: This is very similar to Loners, just pretentious, boring and obvious. Noone seen Loners? Ofc you didn’t, you scum, because it is the best (or one of the best(s)) Czech movies ever made. Unfortunately, subtitles will break it apart… fuck it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c42B87rxJLg

    Now this is how you shoot hipster movie.

  • tOmy`

    Where is Tapey?! :((((

    I wanna talk about how awesome Loners are!!!!

  • tOmy`

    Woah, dude, you are fucking with my matrix. The classic ending lines for me for Sopranos are obviously

    SPOILERS

    Junior’s end scene in the hospital.

    And then the final scene in the diner. Crap…

    I swear to Columbus, I have no clue right now. Anyway, to keep the tradition going, here is my favorite scene from Sopranos that noone who never seen the show gets:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBcbc8eWz6U

  • tOmy`

    Aaaaaaaaaanyways, since we are talking about games like True Detective season 1 – we shall vote for the best shit of that series. So what is it, folks?

    Is it “the monster at the end of it”?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOGoX1B6_2k

    Or “the tracking shot”?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_HuFuKiq8U

    Cast your votes below, the most shares and likes wins my personal photo.

  • omitted

    boners*

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s this scene.One of the very few times the series was actually poignant and not just prentending to be as such.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teRwcazPqmg

    [the clip is shitty as it’s missing the final 30 seconds which really adds to the mood]

  • tOmy`

    Eeeeh: Typical tOmy` answer: While I do agree to some degrees, I think, for me, it is the Monster at the end of it.

    I heard so many people talking about the fact that it scared the living shit out of them – no jumpscare, no bullshit – it was just sooo damn effective.

    (According to director, they actually used the last “freeze frame” to be reminiscent of that famous “big foot” footage, just to maximize the impact on our global conscious memory.)

    Anyways… Hating on TD? I don’t get it… It was a perfect show. As a fanboy of HBO, I had MASSIVE issues with the happy-go-lucky ending, but I guess mainstream audience was satisfied, so I will let that one slip.

  • tOmy`

    WROOOOOOM WROOOOM I DONT GIVE A WROOOOOOM.

  • tOmy`

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vM3q65fmzb0

    No worries, you can always be my lucky boy.

  • tOmy`

    You know…. what are the chances of Imperial Class Star Destroyer crashing into (what we can presume is) Tatooine?

    But credit where credit is due: “You have that power too.” Thank you for trying to erase the bitter aftertaste of midichlorians in my vagina. I feel special.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    So, the Rebels are the “Resistance” now. Guess that means they achieved pretty much jack shit in RotJ.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    He could be talking to a family member.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Not hating.I just thought it had some serious flaws that and really didn’t deserved the hype where some people called 8 episodes the best piece of television ever produced. Your favorite A.V. club actually written a couple brilliant articles about my qualms with TD.

  • tOmy`

    In Thrawn Trilogy, Rebels overtook the “senate” and restored republic. They just had to fight the “last proper general” of what seemed to be a devastated Imperial fleet…. I don’t know whether I care so much for the new shit, because:

    a) Noone told me shit about the new shit
    b) They told me shit about a shit that destroys whole solar systems, instead of planets, so that is… well, fucking shit idea as well.

  • tOmy`

    He is. I get it. But it feels like… (fanboy voice who doesn’t understand how trailer works) he is talking to meeeeee!

  • RLMkeepitup

    there’s so much force in that family if they all got drunk they could probably force pull ships into the planet with green lightning

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I think they might have gone this way (the Rebels failing to fully topple the Empire), because you really need the heroes to be the underdogs. It’d be weird if the good guys are the current regime in power, while the bad guys are a group of misfits defying the established order. Unless they wanted to turn the Empire loyalists into terrorists, welcoming comparisons with Isis, 9-11, etc. Which already happened with Into Darkness.

  • tOmy`

    I am fully aware of flaws of TD. I accept them.

    a) I know about quantum physics / nihilism – so whatever the fuck was he guy talking about, it ain’t… news to me.
    b) ending was overlly stupid, role-reversal bullshit and HBO should never, ever, let the “fandom / mainstream” overtake their horrific, blend endings

    BUT! Was it as good as Fargo? Sure. Totally. Was it enough to be a piece of television to remember? Absolutely. Was it a great, sorta oldschool detective script (Angel’s Heart comes to mind): Hell fucking yea.

    I rate my TV shows as I rate my music: Does it work? Yes. Is it worth your while? Yes. Is it, actually, something brutally interesting? Yea. TD (from this perspective) gets my 10/10.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Ah! I get it now. You are just happy he didn’t actually say “midichlorians”.

    Can you imagine?: “…My sister had it. And you, have high midichlorian count in your blood too.” *record skip sound effect* *cue Star Wars theme*

  • tOmy`

    I am, honestly, happy about new Star Wars, I will find it as an opportunity to get some girl for a date, wear my Star Wars t-shirt (as I don’t wear them often enough) and it’s gonna be a blast.

    The movie will most likely be just… average. But I am game for all the festivities and fun. It’s a good thing we have Star Wars back. Unlike fucking Alien.

  • tOmy`

    And I am gonna say it:

    Star Wars are fandom. You cannot wreck fandom.

    But don’t you dare to fuck up Aliens or Blade Runner.

    Weird opinion? Sure. I can accept that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The red flag behind them storm troopers is different than the Imperial logo from the Original Trilogy. Maybe the rebels did win and the empire are ironically are now rebels.

  • tOmy`

    Come on, have you not noticed that bright red, hammer-and-pinkfloyd logo behind them? They are clearly Taliban.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    See I thought the ending blew chunks because the horror elements amounted to nothing and the villain turned out to be 110% bland throaway[he straight up was like ripped out from some mediocre slasher movie].But really it’s not about Rust’s 3deep5u nihilism monologues but more about the way tone and narrative was handled that hurts TD.It’s a shame I can’t find those A.V. articles but they talked about the stuff that like for example Rust/Marty leaving interrogation room in ep5 to deliver underwhelming plot payoff nobody asked for[and dropping the greatest narrative framing device-Rust and Marty being unreliable narrators in the process]or the tone[which kinda reminded of GoT at times]-this rigid seriousness and bleakness dominating every scene no matter how ridiculous the writting got[some drugged out dumb biker telling Rust he sees his broken soul trough his eyes made me laugh out loud like a madman do to the scene being handled 100% seriously].

  • Wizard Phoenix

    OSAMA IS ALIVE! OBAMA LIED! 911 WAS AN INSIDE JOB! 911 WAS AN INSIDE JOB!

  • Palpatine

    What I love most about The Force Awakens trailer is how little it is gives away, which is what a good trailer is supposed to do.

  • tOmy`

    * < this star represents me answering you tomorrow as I cannot… well, do stuff.

    I promise I am gonna go back to this comment and we shall talk about TV (or Justified) when I sober up! Till then:

    Good night! And pack your shit and get dressed, before your father hears us, before all hell breaks lose o/

  • tOmy`

    Noone know this, so I am just gonna drop it:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xEwbzEBw14

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Unlike some trailers now a-TERMINATOR GENYSIS

  • Hank_Henshaw

    If the Rebels won, it’s very weird they now are calling themselves The Resistance.

    The First Order does sound like an underground cult, so that’s ok.

  • Palpatine
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Where did that bullshit come from?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That can’t be a coincidence.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You gave Lord Plinkett a helmet?

  • Palpatine

    NEW PLINKETT REVIEW CONFIRMED!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I shall[not]wait for a response!

  • Percy Gryce

    Christmas is a U.S. federal holiday, enshrined in law. See 5 U.S.C. § 6103(a).

  • Palpatine

    What’s wrong with his helmet?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’d explain why Space Cop is taking so long.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I don’t know, the Celebration Reports. The Rebels logo is now blue.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I was just asking if you did. It looks perfect.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sooooooo? The sky is blue, does it mean it’s now the ground?

  • Like Icare

    Indeed.

    What about all those people writing Jedi as religion on their census papers?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    but don’t quote me on it, I’m just half paying attention to it, most likely I’m getting my facts wrong.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yep, you might be

  • Hank_Henshaw

    You know what’d be weird? If this movie actually ends with a talking pizza roll, and it starts talking directly to the audience.

  • Like Icare

    That’s because it is a TEASER.

    By the time movies comes out you will have seen 250% of it already.

  • Joe

    I guess. Though I value RLM for it’s sincerity, so I wouldn’t want to go too far down a faux debate avenue. It certainly should be possible to do an episode where they both totally agree and like something.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Plinkett! Open up! It’s the police!

  • Palpatine

    So that’s where Plinkett’s been! J.J. Abrams was merely a puppet director!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A meat puppet, eh?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Ok, I know where I got it from. AICN says the costumes in today’s event were labeled as ‘Resistance’ and/or ‘First Order’. There are a handful of pics of the costumes, but I can’t read those words anywhere.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Harry the fat ass fraud Knowles runs that site. I trust it as much as I trust the local back alley drugger dealer.

  • Like Icare

    It could be done…

    All we need is to start gathering at parking lots at night beating ourselves up until someone else joins in.
    Then we start a chain of underground fistfighting parties which will all on its own grow into an anarchic movement.
    Because it is the will of the Force.

    Then we just get people in the movement to find jobs in all theaters playing the movie and insert the talking pizza roll footage into the movie.
    The best part is it would be done so seamlessly that nobody would notice that they saw it.
    But their brains would.

    A nice, big, talking pizza roll.

  • Like Icare

    A pawn.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    These men

  • Thanatos2k

    I’m too busy laughing my ass off at old Harrison Ford

  • Thanatos2k

    No taxation of trade routes without representation!

  • Thanatos2k

    More like what are the chances of a Star Destroyer crashing intact and NOT exploding? Last one we saw disintegrated the moment it hit something.

  • I need to clarify, he said he was wrong in retrospect. They either missed the prompts or forgot about them. Still, as a veteran Souls player I was surprised they didn’t know the dodge+run attack animation has been around since (probably) Demon’s Souls. They played both Souls titles prior to playing Bloodborne, so I assumed they would know about this. It’s nice to hear the strategy is finally viable.

  • Like Icare

    I mentioned below, with some other indications that this is all lazy writing in order to cram in more hype and cool, what are the chances of it still being there?

    Jawas wouldn’t go utinni all over that much scavengable material?

  • Thanatos2k

    Well, maybe some of the stormtroopers inside lived, and the Jawas were too afraid to loot the place since stormtroopers are their natural enemy.

  • Thanatos2k

    Like seriously, they made him look OLDER. They didn’t need to do that, just don’t put any make up on him!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s good to know Chewwy hasn’t aged a day.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You laugh at old people? You’re gonna piss off Frank

  • RLMkeepitup

    he hasn’t exactly been frozen in carbonite all this time

  • Like Icare
  • James Earl Jones

    Was he wearing a ring?
    Seriously, though, Chewy looks younger.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    How the fuck dare you tug at my heart strings, Harrison? Get back to the dick!

  • James Earl Jones

    You know what to do…

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    You said it, tOmy.

  • Thanatos2k

    I mean they took the current old-ass Harrison Ford and made him look even older, completely pointlessly.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Loners are great, BUT, as opposed to Garden State, the actually crazy people are portrayed as such and with really cutting sadness.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Brilliant.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    He must’ve showered or something.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    252.34%

    Fucking people and just tossing away significant figures. Precision matters.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “fat ass”

    Hey now, that’s not fair … the rest of him is fat, too.

  • Like Icare

    Back alley drug dealer’s business depends on repeat customers.
    So in a way… Knowles and Co. are less trustworthy than people cutting drugs with baby powder.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Blade Runner 2 is being directed by Denis Villeneuve, the director of Incendies, Prisoners, and Enemy. His recent film Sicario has just been selected for Cannes.

    I loved Prisoners. I’m sure he’ll bring his A-game. Also, it seems Ryan Gosling is also in talks to star in the film with Harrison Ford. Hopefully he’ll be in his Drive-mode. 🙂

    Those that’s makes me excited. The thing that worries me, is, well … it’s a Blade Runner sequel. There’s no source material to draw from and I’m not sure a new story taking place after the first is even a good idea.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Oh there is some source material, the book had sequels not written by P.K. Dick. I’ve read the second one a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago. It sucked. Not that I would think they would use what’s basically a fan fiction. Although…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    There was also a giant space station that could destroy whole planets with a giant trench presumably hundreds of km long that leads straight to a shaft that could explode the whole thing.

    I’m hoping that whatever they do with that destroyed Star Destroyer [is that irony? I dunno] is fun and exciting enough to make us audiences not care about how it’s still there.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Not only has the new trailer made me want to play with all of my Star Wars toys, dress in my Darth Revan costume, swing around my lightsaber, made me buy a bunch of Star Wars games on steam, made me listen to the soundtrack to all of the movies, and made my excitement boner bigger than some at the Manhole I am above all else excited that we for once are getting some actually Star Wars movies. No trade route taxation, forced romance, cynical studio additions, over reliance on visual effects created by cold computers, and no George Lucas.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “… the book had sequels not written by P.K. Dick.”

    Aka they have no source material. 😉

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “no George Lucas”

    The rest of what you said was redundant.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    In all seriousness, I dunno it left me cold. Yes, I liked the stinger at the end and the visuals were awesome, but, it all felt a bit too cool if that makes any sense?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It is not Tatoonie it’s Jakku.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    That’s quite chilling

  • Wizard Phoenix

    With Linda and Betty?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Why the fuck burn it, if you gonna keep the helmet anyway? So it makes a better scarecrow head?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Well yeah. You don’t have to drag logic into this. Men.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Since we’re talking Star Wars, here’s how I feel about the recent teaser trailer. If we’re lucky, we’ll get Rich Evans reacting to it as well. 😉

    https://youtu.be/9davEyh5PMA

  • Palpatine

    You have a girlfriend?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    AND a stable of internet boyhoes.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Did you get a fork in the brain?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Several, repeatedly.

  • Palpatine

    Does anyone remember the trailer for The Phantom Menace:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uo5PYJvAAMI

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I remember being fucking blown away by the movie.

  • Palpatine

    By how amazing it was?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I know. Even I’m surprised.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I remember the poster with the little kid and the shadow. My friends were all like “Oh, This is awesome!!” and I couldn’t give a fuck.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Well, there was a really loud boom when they blew the ship up, there was a race (awesome, with cool LEGO models you could buy) and then lizards fought robots. 5/5 would watch again as a 10yr old weird kid.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    You a one handsome motha, don’t talk yourself down. Speaking of down…

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I demand we talk about videogames on here. Die ordnung muss sein!

  • Palpatine
  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    That’s from Pac Man?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Only Star Wars games, if not well….I guess Mass Effect is close.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I only played the demo to Jedi Knight 2 like ten times.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I remember being blown away from how annoying the sound effects sounded.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And then you saw the movie.

  • Palpatine

    The teaser for Revenge of the Sith was pretty damn cool:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0BWpIFZGDc

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s fucking great. Let’s talk about that

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Uhh. I like lightsabering people up?

  • Palpatine

    Did you ever play the Battlefront games?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    You know what’s not clever? Reading up and watching videos on Elisa Lam, in a hotel at 3am.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes I did. I like them a lot

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I played as you in one of them.

  • Milkbot

    I used to like Rich’s opinion, but maaaaan he’s the sort of gamer that really annoys me. I fucking hate tutorials, especially if it’s just telling you “press x to attack, press x, x to do a two hit combo” I can press x and see that I attack when I press that button. It’s not hard to experiement with the controls. The first thing I always do in a new game is spend a minute in the first area checking out how to jump, if I can double jump, how to attack, what the other buttons do, if any combinations of button do something.

    My brother is like that. Instead of just fucking trying out the buttons, he asks me “How do I lock on?” “How do I jump?” I mean goddamn, just give it a go.

    So Rich: Goddamn, just give it a go instead of having a whine that you have no tutorial to hold your hand.

  • Palpatine

    What did you do with me?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I think this is the first time Jack has been totally off the hook for complaints. It’s all on Rich this time.

    It’s quite amusing.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Mala, on the other hand…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He obviously meant ni- *User Was Banned*

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What about Lumpy and Stinky.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    My girlfriend also says I’m handsome, but she’s blind …

    Not really sure why she had a webcam.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Made it really easy to steal, though.

  • Dammit Google

    You missed what he described about that very thing, completely. Not Rich’s fault.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “In the wake of the discovery, all of the Cecil’s short-term guests left, many expressing revulsion at the thought that they had unknowingly been drinking water contaminated by a decomposing body for the preceding two weeks.”

    Gross.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Do you think people who “like” the prequels really like them or are telling themselves they should because it’s Star Wars?

  • RLMkeepitup

    these were great games, playing as yoda you could annoy the crap out of everyone else cause he did that jumping around with his light saber thing

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Reminds me of the shitty film I watched called Dark Water back when I was a teen. My friends had invited me to go watch it. Eerily similar, actually.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Too bad it was all LIES!

  • RLMkeepitup

    Never talked to anyone who liked them but I have a friend who loves all the transformer films so there’s that.

  • Mr_Wint

    Rich is a troll, Mr. Milkbot.

  • I’ve been in that position multiple times…. enjoy it being implanted in your mind and heart, now!

  • SkaMP

    Ordnung, ordnung liebe sie, sie erspart dir zeit und mühe. My mother used to say that to me all the time.

  • SkaMP

    Here: http://blip.tv/mikejtv/shameful-sequels-in-defense-of-episode-1-6566971 you can watch a British bastard talk about what he likes about the prequels. tbh even tho I like most of his other stuff, this was just painful to watch for me.

  • SkaMP

    Ooooooooh

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Too many o’s. It’s: Oooohhhhhhhh

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    “People like their Logos.”

    –Rich Evans

  • SkaMP

    tbh I’ll actually just stick to: “ugh”

  • Like Icare

    Besides that not being even a remotely equivalent comparison, I am not talking about issues like “is what is shown in Star Wars realistic or plausible or possible or believable or whatever”.

    I’m saying that Jar Jar is once again just piling up “cool” and “awesome” and “fun” and “shiny” imagery regardless of plot, story or logic.

    And when you tell a story with your main rules being “Fuck plot. Fuck story. Fuck logic.” and “Let’s put this in cause it’s cool! We’ll just write around it later.” – it will inevitably suck.
    Because – lazy.

    But it will be chock full of references to earlier movies that everyone will hail it as “BEST EVER!! BETTER THAN EMPIRE! JAR JAR FOR PROSEIDINT!”

    Sorta the way people love Family Guy – cause they keep being reminded of stuff they’ve seen, in place of jokes.
    Similar reward payoff happens in our brain when we recognize something we know and when we “get” a joke – which is why we find constantly repeating RLM references entertaining, and why Seth MacFarlane is a millionaire.

    You can tell already.
    Remember that “I FUCKING LOVE STAR WARS!!!” was a response to people flipping out online “because Falcon”.
    I’ve read comments of people crying seeing this teaser “because Han” – it’s actually a bit more specific form of tugging at heartstrings with “we’re home” and popular characters.

    Which reeks of a movie written by the marketing department.
    “Let’s put this in cause it’ll sell! We’ll just write around it later.”

  • SkaMP

    pff I don’t think I’ll ever get my 20.000 dirham, I’ve been ripped off 🙁

  • Like Icare

    Oh! So you too like “based on a true story” tales, like Mike?

    http://archive.4plebs.org/boards/tv/image/1366/69/1366692076094.png

  • Andrew Thompson.

    when i saw the crashed stardestroyer i fell in love with starwars again… then i saw that shit eating ball gag droid, and i remembered starwars is a whore, whoring out its toys.

  • SkaMP

    Just like Star Trek 2009 and Star Trek Into Darkness it’ll be a fun, well made and completely forgettable movie. Or maybe it’s gonna be great.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Well, when I have that early morning paranoia, I like to exploit it. I’ve also experienced people being fucking weird in and around elevators

  • Andrew Thompson.

    that shits so toxic! and talc in your drugs isnt good for you either.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    and the crashed Xwing in the fore ground and the ship at the end was an upside down Mon Calimari Cruiser.
    it appears to be the scattered wrecks of a battle.

  • SkaMP

    The worst: an unskippable tutorial that makes you jump through some hoops being patronising like fuck. “stand on the glowing marker and press X” “now press B”
    FUUUUUU

    actually the worst I’ve experienced was in Warframe; the game at a certain point wants you to do a certain thing with mods and will a) not let you continue before you’ve done it b) will literally repeat the same sentence every 10 seconds until you’ve done it c) is incredibly confusing as to what it actually wants from you to do. I nearly suffocated a hooker in my crawlspace that day. FUCK!

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’m still waiting for the big reveal of these characters: http://i.imgur.com/YP4yK.png

  • SkaMP

    Yeah its fucking disgusting.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I really want to know Admiral Bone To Pick’s backstory.

  • Palpatine

    It depends on what kind of fans we’re talking about.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he has a bone to pick what more do you want?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    both

  • Palpatine

    But who does he have a boner bone to pick with?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the trade federation, Jorge, jar jar?… its a target rich environment.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Omitted, of course

  • Noah R.

    Sure is.

  • Noah R.

    From Software makes good games. I just can’t get over the “I died a lot and its really hardcore so I’m an MLG, elite pro gamer” fanboys, sheeshhh…. It’s just a good game, not some sort of “true gamer” trial!

  • Noah R.

    Same as my younger brother. Drives me insane.

  • The only thing I care about, honestly (and I mean CARE about, not just being “mildly interested in a game”) is when the next Fallout is coming out and what/where it be. I got an NCR bag for Christmas fer chrissakes, I NEED another hit.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Here’s a movie review quote. Guess the movie! 😀

    “It’s better than some of the other titles in the [actor’s name] back catalogue … but that’s like saying one bout of syphilis was better than another bout of syphilis.”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That post gave me cancel.

  • Noah R.

    Adam Sandler. I don’t know really, I’m busy thinking about Star Wars.

  • Palpatine

    It’s all true though.

  • This was a system seller for me. I was waiting to get a PS4, but I had to get one form No Man’s Sky, so when I saw a deal to get the system for cheap with a free copy of Bloodborne I jumped at the chance to buy it. Best decision Ive made in a long while.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Where are all the normal people?

  • Palpatine

    Is anyone truly normal, my Canadian friend?

  • Noah R.

    Not here.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I cannot answer that. I’m fucking weird.

  • bb-15

    I’m beginning to like Pre-Rec. An appreciation of art design? Finally, a recognition that there is more to the look of modern gaming than simple 2D Arcade scrollers.
    Nice to see that Jack is appreciating pacing in a game like this.
    Reminds me of Obi-Wan; “”You’ve taken your first step into a larger world”.
    PS. I’m with Jack about not using the manual unless absolutely necessary.
    But if I get stuck, I’ll get any info I can to move along.

  • DarkFluffy

    ezpz: Milla Jovovich – Resident Evil

  • omitted

    Domo wasn’t talking about dicks in the ass…

  • omitted

    erecting*

  • omitted

    “I’m being weird.” And that’s why we love you, man!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    God dammit! I have a little R2D2 droid behind me. It was a tin can with candy inside.

    I should have jerked it Rich Evans style!

  • DarkFluffy

    It’s not always about the movies itself I think. Little kids in those times were told that Star Wars is the greatest thing and after they watched the prequels they continue to believe it…because of the time they spend with their friends, sibblings and parents in the cinema. The costumes, the music, the popcorn… And today in their memories it was a great moment of their life.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I look back with nostalgia the time my parents split.

    Wait, no I don’t. The prequels suck.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yeah but you should have fucked a star destroyer!
    THEY ARE FUCKING STAR DESTROYERS!!!!!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    dont blame the prequels for your fathers brutal murder by a street light.

  • omitted

    Hard candy?

  • Guest

    Wow, cool video. I think my favorite part was when my aura gushed out very strongly, and my sixty ninth eye opened, causing me to almost die from a large quantum fractal gradient in energy. While I was 420% dead, I saw the light, it was a quasar wormhole from Einstein’s Quantum Loop Fractal Divergence String Gravity Stork Theory, then Nelson Mandela floated down from the Cosmic Super Massive Space Time Energy Derivative Integral Black Hole, and told me that my life wasn’t over yet, because I was supposed to become the next Jesus or something. Overall I will give the video a 3/10, because it was is too long, it totally rips off Stanley Kubrick, and has these weird background vibrating things that could induce seizures, and migraines.
    9/11 was an inside job, Ron Paul for President.
    The N word.

  • omitted

    That is no way to talk about your gf!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    as a fan of elen page in her Canadian days i found that movie disturbing.

    https://youtu.be/SMHuEJCs1Vg

  • DarkFluffy

    Well, I agree… but that was not the point. The little mouth full of popcorn, a Darth Maul mask in the face and a C3PO from McDonalds in the bag the prequels were not that relevant to some of the people, 3 to 5 years old back then, now defending it without realising that. But that’s just a theory.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    nice work Ghost. i wish i was as white as you.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    But Anakin force pushed the street light over!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Perhaps they can’t admit the movies suck because of their fond memories around those films.

    Is that what you’re getting at?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Hahaha!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That movie was disturbing … but I quite enjoyed it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    So, wait, did you change your score to 9/11?

  • dejectedchuckle

    Jack’s a big fan of rouge-likes; I’d be interested in seeing Jack and Rich talk about how important (or un-important) they find intentionality to be in level design.

  • dejectedchuckle

    I think one of the “Share” options on Disqus needs to be “Grandpa’s Nurse, someone forgot their medicine again”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the answer is both.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You’re a healthy mix between realist and cynic.

    I like it.

    The “we’re home” part was the worst for me, personally. Also, you may keep in mind that perhaps marketing is explicitly highlighting aspects of the film that get those reactions and that the film overall may not be that. JJ likes to misdirect and keep his films under wraps.

    JJ did direct STID, though. As Plinkett unfondly calls it, Star Trek: Into Reference. Let’s hope that was more Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman being lazy writers and less JJ being a lazy director … except JJ wrote and directed Super 8, and that was also pretty much Reference: The Movie.

    Hey! Stop making the good feelings go away!

  • dejectedchuckle

    DarkFluffy has it, for many the experience of the prequels can outweigh the actual content of the movies themselves. For more people than I think many are comfortable thinking about, “Star Wars” IS those prequels. For an entirely new swath of folks it’s that cartoon, and whatever shape this new movie is going to take. Nostalgia is a hell of a thing, even if it’s for complete shit, especially if it’s for complete shit.

    And even rewatching them wouldn’t, and doesn’t, change much. I mean, most people don’t watch movies even lightly critically (and don’t want to)–so it doesn’t matter that the movie is bad because that’s not what they are experiencing when they watch… it’s different.

    Like Don Draper pitching the carousal, it’s a time machine. It takes them to a place where they ache to go again. A twinge in your heart, far more powerful than memory alone.

  • omitted

    Still waiting by the phone for that booty call…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    just as the prophecy foretold…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    just as the prophecy foretold…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    What’s with the Spider Man 3 and Titanic posters in the background? Your favorite movies or smth?

  • Earth

    Well the new teaser made some headway. I think there was exactly ONE WHOLE CLIP of somewhere in actual space.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i think it was just shot in a really dark hanger.

  • Earth

    But the hanger COULD be in space. Ladies and gentlemen, we’re one step closer to stars starring in Star Wars.

  • tOmy`

    Given his late track-record, I wish we could say the same about Gran Solo.

    Ba-dum-ts-ts-ts-ts-ts-I’ll cue you-ts-ts-ts

  • tOmy`

    Modern pussies dunno what is a no death run of Half Life 1 on hard under 5 hours.

  • Earth

    Not quite my tempo.

  • tOmy`

    There: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk4kX9WEcZA

    Skip to 7:30 and we can talk about the best 20 minutes of your life.

  • Earth

    There’s a troll on the Phantom Menace review bitching about how we all hate the prequels so I took the opportunity to ask: are prequel fans looking forward to the new Star Wars movie? Will wait to hear the results.

    (Although he might ignore me at this point, cos I kept recommending he take up tae bo).

  • tOmy`

    Well, since some of you probably came here (naively, I might add) for gaming discussion, here is something from the gaming vault:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V4ZaFbhYl4

    I hope every responsible pr0gaymer watched it 20 times, or at least heard about it. It is quite possibly the most legendary fragmovie out there, with the best editing and absolutely kickass soundtrack. Also, 99.9% of the footage is sick beyond measure.

  • Like Icare

    Well… Elevator IS a cardboard-tin box suspended by a thin cable, high above the ground, inside a concrete chimney, and you can’t just leave it whenever you want once the doors close.
    AND it can crush your limbs and whatnots if you’re not careful.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the editing/sound design in these montages is always giving me Micheal Bay PTSD

  • Earth
  • dollar store cashier wife

    Steam is giving away Fractured Space this weekend.It looks pretty damn neat if I do say so myself.

  • Sephiroth_IRA

    PLAY PILLARS YOU FUCKSSSS

  • Andrew Thompson.

    and more stars.

  • Like Icare

    Well… cynicism kinda rises from realizing that the reality feels no obligation to one’s personal ideals.
    Universe owes us no debts.
    But it does provide ample entertainment opportunities, some less comfortable and appealing to carbon-based lifeforms.

    Speaking of ample (nacelles)…
    Remember that awesome first teaser for new Star Trek where they show Enterprise being made… and then in the next trailer we get a shot of young Kirk watching it being made… on Earth.
    Because that looked cool. And because they were too lazy to do it properly.
    “Hey kid! Stand by that bike and look up at the ceiling. PERFECT! Aaaand… ACTION! Just like that kid. Keep staring, keep staring, you’re doing great… AND CUT! There, we got our ‘it’s my density’ shot.”

    And then later we are shown various nonsensical implementations and areas aboard the Enterprise which keep looking more and more ridiculous every time you see them as you start noticing various pipes and faucets and stuff that screams at you “THIS IS A BREWERY AND NOT A STARSHIP!” – because they looked cool and because they couldn’t be bothered to create sets for those scenes.
    Because lazy.

    And then, because lazy, Star Trek tech works in such a way that Scotty an Kirk can jump aboard Enterprise from another solar system.
    Because lazy.
    Which is why Scotty happens to be within 5 minutes walk from where Kirk lands and where Future-Spock apparently lives.
    Why wasn’t Spock at Scotty’s place already? Oh… right… will of the Force… i.e. lazy writing.

    And thus in the next moopie in the series, we get trans-galactic teleporters and magic blood that cures death.
    Because lazy.
    And because they start writing it with cool scenes and references first, then going from there and coming up with ways HOW to get to those scenes instead of how to tell a story – we get crap.

    But BOY will people love it.
    It even has Williams’ Star Wars music and all.
    It will be the BEST MOVIE EVAR!
    I FUCKIN LOVE STAR WARS! I’M CHANGIN MY NAME TO HAN SOLO AND MARRYIN STARWARS AND I’M GONNA TAKE ITS NAME AN AND BE HAN STARWARS! I WONT EVEN HAVE TO CHANGE MY MONOGRAMMED SHIRTS! THIS IS SO GREAT! BEST MOVIE EVAR!!!!!!!

  • Earth

    Hooray.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Sooooo. Netflix in an attempt to stop Australian rampant piracy finally opens here and as a sweetener they have struck a deal with most of the major ISP’s for unmetered content. take that Net Neutrality!

  • Like Icare

    He was born as a small child near a major ocean.
    One day a mermaid came out of the sea and told him “You are now Admiral Bone to Pick. Because sea-tax porpoises.”
    And thus one of the iconic characters came to be.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    cumtent*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Of course they are. They blindly love everything that says Star Wars on it. Their love has blinded them like Anakin.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i went camping last week. i’m home now.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    and chronic masturbaters.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    homo*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Is there some secret place where people are talking about the new Star Wars trailer or do we just do it here? Because I want to talk about fucking Star Wars!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    at least he dosent seem to be “part time” on this one.
    Pa Solo looked?… whats that thing he never does?…. HAPPY! he looks happy. it was weird!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    “do we just do it here?”
    Well, if you insist… *takes off pants*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the last 200 comments or so are mostly about the new tease.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What gave me even bigger goobumps than the trailer was seeing you react to it. No kidding.

  • tOmy`

    AV Club is definitely on the case. Same goes for FB comments under videos.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    in the new Rich Reacts video i think we can all agree that Rich should bend a star destroyer over the table and pound its engine exhaust while tweaking its shield generators….
    or is that just me?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I’ve only watched the trailer 8 times, and found out a friend hates Star Wars, regardless of movie. I was also able to convince 2 other friends to watch the Rich Evans react video, but no luck on the Plinkett reviews because of the length.

    Who do you guys think the one brunette chick is in regards to story? Or am I missing out on a studio leak that she’s Leia’s daughter?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Confirmed for Taco.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    she is the chick riding the IceCream Speeder in the first trailer. thasha or something.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    how dare you call me human!

  • DeColonise

    Jack is spot on. The charm of these games from from software is that they are not stupidly holding your hand. I thought Rick would like this, since he always complains about this in other games.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    It’s not libel if it’s true…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I know. I just want to speculate because it’s fun.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    spegulate* (this one is only funny to Finns, sorry)

  • Andrew Thompson.

    have i ever displayed any humanity?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i prefer outright slander.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Do you think if George Lucas came up with the little ball droid instead of Jar Jar, would we have liked the Prequels more? Or at least have an appreciation for why younger people like the prequels?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Tell me when I should start laughing.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I said the first time i saw that shit eating ball gag droid the wouldnt have done it if they couldnt do a practical toy…. they are making them now.
    FUCK YOU GYROSCOPES!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Jaysus! Why is there so much talk about Star Wars?!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    tuesday.

  • Mr.Fister

    I am popular for my remarks that are very unpopular but today I am going to ask Rich Evans a question that is on everybody’s mind: Mr. Evans why are you playing this stupid game instead of jerking to the new star wars trailer? 😉 😀

  • Andrew Thompson.

    because startrek is shit?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    whats the key to comedy?……

  • Andrew Thompson.

    …..

  • Andrew Thompson.

    tim… no i fucked it up.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    nope. i want to gag the ball droid and drown it in acid. you dont want to know what happened to jar jar…..

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I dunno if it’s a good thing but this new Star Wars trailer gave me the “Holy shit! A new Star Wars movie?!?” feeling. I really liked the opening shot and the shot inside the TIE fighter. And Grampa Han made me take the nostalgia bait because it reminded me of this: http://www.coyoteblog.com/photos/uncategorized/han_chewie.jpg Damn you, marketing ploys!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Temper your expectations you must.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think she’s Luke’s daughter and that disembodied voice’s brother because the voice mentioned a sister and when he said “my father has it” it cut to a robohand man caressing R2, so that’s probably Luke.

    Now they’re just shying away from showing Carrie “The Frog” Throw’erbackinthelake.

  • Mr.Fister

    you need more patience…sometimes one needs to repeat a joke before it gets funny

  • Andrew Thompson.

    both?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I’m still holding back excitement for it. Kinda. I never got to participate in the Star Wars movie going experience as a teen with the Prequels.

    If nothing else, I’m really excited to go to a midnight premiere and just see the spectacle of it all. I may actually get to watch a Star Wars film and not be disappointed. That’s really all I want.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Pa Kettle is there. he hates us… #sad face.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I guarantee you there’s going to be no spectacle ’round here because Finns are boring as.

    Nothing more awkward than going to a premiere all dressed up and it turns out you’re the only one.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Have you ever been to a midnight premiere?

  • Mr.Fister

    you are not alone

  • Mr.Fister

    but I would prefer a pinball machine instead of a simple table

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m not sure… Possibly not… Well, am I wrong?

  • tOmy`

    I sorta giggled through it all. I am far from disappointed so far, but as I said previously, I suddenly cannot take it seriously anymore.

  • tOmy`

    One thing is for certain: She ain’t no fucking Mara Jade.

    *sad face*

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Well I’ve been to a couple and you are wrong. Not everyone is in costume of course but enough people to make it ‘an event’ imho. Sometimes there is even a competition for best costume set up by the theater.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    speaking of marketing. lets change the colours on the tie fighters, bring back anikins light saber that luke lost, and change the storm troopers and star destroyers because clearly whats left of the empire has enough cash for R&D, oh and change the blaster rifle! you cant use the same gun! it would be like russia and america still using AK’s and M-16’s… oh wait….

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’ll take your word for it. Which premieres you been to?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    or Bastila Shan

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Return of the King and Revenge of the Sith come to mind. That was when I still lived in Helsinki.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    “as a teen with the Prequels”
    I know it’s not appropriate to ask a woman about her age, but I think you might be younger than me. Not that you seem old, your comments just command a certain amount of respect that I admire.

  • SkaMP

    You want to gag on the balls of the droid and do the same to Jar Jar huh wat?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I guess I just don’t tend to get so excited about movies that I’d feel like I have to see them as soon as they come out. maybe I’ll go for this one.

    Maybe.

  • SkaMP

    I’ll try and make it funny for english speakers: smegulate

    yeah. try.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Good thing I couldn’t give a crap about EU, so I won’t feel heartbroken even if Han or Luke have replaced their children.

  • tOmy`

    *grabs popcorn*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    >Michael Jackson Thriller Gif<

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I already have a ticket for the earliest showing of Age of Ultron possible. Too bad there isn’t a midnight premiere for that. I’d rather be the ‘ner ner ner, I’ve seen it already’ guy than the ‘shut up and don’t spoil it for me’ guy.

  • tOmy`

    I have been to Revenge as well. Only had Star Wars t-shirt, I am not much of a cosplayer, rather than a weirdo with accessories (I am planning on making a necklace with LEGO SW minifigs hanging from it). But I did see a lot of dressed up people, including one chick, that was just BEWBS and a Darth Vader mask. She also tripped and fell.

    Great times.

    Then the movie started…

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    cop-porn*

  • SkaMP

    shut your filthy whore mouth! pff people and their opinions that are different from mine and thus WRONG

  • tOmy`

    Is he being grumpy? I am gonna have to track him down.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    By using his natural enemy in the wild, the Sully?

  • SkaMP

    Yes there is a secret place indeed, please don’t ask me to tell you more about it than that.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Speaking of change, I’m not entirely convinced by the new stormies with their flat smooth chest (plate). I do like the helmet design, though.

  • tOmy`

    They look like smiling iPods

  • WrongWithYourFace

    When’s that coming out, anyway? Hell, I haven’t even seen Birdman yet! Or Whiplash! I’m not sure I like to have all these new movies that I wanna see.

  • tOmy`

    What’s wrong with your f-

    Oh.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    i miss sully. now i feel bad for all the 1080

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no startrek is shit. Babylon 5 was heaps gooderer.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    see thats why i fixed it for you.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’ll make you gag on my solid argument if you keep it up!

  • Like Icare

    It would be about as equally dumb and awkward with little robot always getting in the way and doing wacky things to get noticed (otherwise, what’s the point of having a character who does nothing) – particularly since there are already TWO wacky robots in the movie already.

    On the positive side, the whole pointless Gungan city bit could have been avoided along with the submarine-ride through the core (?), without changing anything else later on.

    There is one thing though that would have made the movies MUCH better for many.
    You could build the three robots up as a Three Stooges
    goofy trio, doing wacky things, instigating hijinks… and then you kill
    the littlest one.

    You could murder that little annoying cute robot and have R2 and 3PO and possibly Padme get all sad cause he’s blown to bits – replicating the “dead Ewoks” scene and bringing some emotion into the whole story.

    Bonus points if you can write R2 and 3PO slightly different, so that the death of their little robot pall changes them into what they are now – instead of changing them by removing the plating and then putting it back on.
    I think that may be called character development.

    Then again… if you could do that, you would not be George Lucas.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yes!… of the Special Editions of the original trilogy. pulp fiction, Jurassic Park, the Crow and Judgement Night… and others.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I never understood people who ask trivial things in a comment section/board. If you want to now about my opinions or experiences (i.e. things only I would know) then asking about them is valid. If you want to know the premiere date of a movie in Finland, then click to another tab and go find out.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    tuesday?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Yeah, cosplay, not gay fetish…

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Close 😉

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i wore that to the rerelease of starwars last year! although a lot of guys liked it….

  • Like Icare

    It’s a sand-zamboni.

    Sand hokey has apparently become a huge thing on Tatooine since pod races got canceled with the death of Jabba.
    Tusken raiders are apparently hokey savants. Who knew, right?
    http://geekrobots.com/wp-content/uploads/00008-tusken-hockey.jpg

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Tusken Raiders!

    i knew there was a non racist way to talk about sand people! now back to 911

  • Like Icare

    You mean they are coarse and irritating and get into everywhere?

    Or do you mean they’re the kind of people who’d kidnap and rape Darth Vader’s mom to death?

  • Like Icare

    Does it feel anything like watching this?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNvWOALp3Ds

  • SkaMP

    I never actually watched Babylon 5, I started watching the old Battlestar and was happy to see Lorne Greene but I got distracted after the first or so episode.
    I’ve got loads of free time so I probably should check Babylon out and give Battlestar another chance.

    Picard though, Data, Q as well and then Garak and Damar from DS9, such great characters.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Part time.

    But this is different because Harrison Ford is not in the spotlight.

  • SkaMP

    You were wearing pants? well that’s an improvement as least

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I have a slow internet connection and I’m not interested enough to find out on my own. If the person I’m asking doesn’t tell me, then I don’t mind because I know I’ll find out sooner or later anyway.

  • SkaMP

    Shit even if you have all the time in the world I think that’s quite the achievement.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What? You only need five hours…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    neither! i was being racist to arabs. your sick!

  • SkaMP

    Is he not to destroy the Taco and bring balance to the RLM Disqus comment section?

  • Like Icare

    But of course he’s not. NOT!

    It’s only that he’s the first one who has actual lines instead of doing voiceover narration, with those lines being pure nostalgia rocket fuel.

    Lucas at least didn’t have him go “Hey kids! It’s me! Your pal, Indiana Jones!” straight into the camera.
    Though, it was probably someone else who made that teaser.
    Someone who could actually distinguish a good “Part time!” take from a cheerless, bleak and confusing one.

    I KNOW that it is crap but after seeing that teaser a part of me wants to watch that movie.

  • SkaMP

    and to not die once 😛

  • SkaMP

    That really is a great trailer

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Slow internet connection? No omapa on häpiäs…

  • Like Icare
  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I lied 🙁

  • Like Icare

    I hear that rainbow coloring is all the rage lately.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgSylgBFi-I

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I’m 35 🙂

    I was 19 when the Phantom menace came out. So I guess I meant to say as a teen with the phantom menace, rather than the trilogy, and a late teen at that. Sorry for misleading.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Oooohhhh
    Shouldn’t you be somewhere playing a witch or sumthing? 😉

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I’m gonna eat popcorn with tOmy. It better have extra butter.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    dont push it twink i’m 38…. part time.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Take it easy, you can be the new grumPa.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    rapeseed*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    poor pamaybalinegrump… he hates us now. what did we do… oh yeah! all the things we did…..

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    You think we were too hard in on him?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i miss the old school hot butter…. apparently it was carcinogenic. like as bad as cigarettes.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    not as hard as i am… wait.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    didnt your flatmate use it all?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    true story: Australias minster for womens affairs was Michael Raper. the bad jokes write themselves.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    That’s why I moved out.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    hot butt*

  • tOmy`

    Just seen the first episode of brand new Veep. Good job to writers, seems like they are back on track.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    crack*

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    *My cheeks blush … all four of them.*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Picard and Q are Westley and Buttercup from ‘Princess Bride’
    As you wish?!!!! https://youtu.be/G_0dgKgSDgo

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    So @dollarstorecashierwife:disqus finally got to you with ‘her’ paddle?

  • Bubs

    I used to work at the Movie Theater in high school and people would ask for gallons of that shit on their popcorn. Gallons. I’m happy to find out that I was slowly killing all of them.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    My favourite part was when Han Solo said, “Lumpy, we’re home!”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    nope! just you. ingested its fine. inhalation by operators and factory staff was the cause of the cancer… eating it is Snacktastic!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Notice how they didn’t show Shia swinging through the jungle like Tarzan and George of the Jungle?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    As a fellow former customer servant, high five!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    bi-Curious George*

  • Bubs

    Oh. I meant because I put arsenic in it.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    and then fell over the railing…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    MMMMM Almonds…

  • Palpatine

    Just like me.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    dirty monkey.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    why did you build that!?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    As I recall, you had some help…

  • Bubs

    You don’t even want to know what that little slut monkey would do for a banana.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    At first I was thinking how lame this was … then I thought it was funny … then it went back to being lame.

  • Palpatine

    Why was my throne room in an area with a giant mineshaft? Don’t ask me, I’m not the one who designed it.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i was going to make a joke about gagging on a banana but it was in poor taste…

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    So… flamy?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    arse-dick*

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “midnight premiere”

    They still have those? I thought James Holmes shot that idea down.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    it was those stupid fucking bugs wasnt it? did you really think that bug people who still make their citys from mud and saliva could build a Death Star?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I was [blank] when The Phantom Menace came out. Now I’m [blank].

    If you do the calculations, I was born in [blank].

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Why do you keep calling it a mineshaft? What could you possibly mine on a space station?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    redacted*

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Mr. Fister? I don’t even know ‘er!

  • Palpatine

    That’s what Plinkett calls it in his reviews.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    The back of a Buick!?

    a Bucket!?

    ….tuesday?….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Midiclorians?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    She’s there for the horny boys.

    Er, I mean … the horny men. *Phew.* That was close.

    Wait, no, this isn’t any better …

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Well then Mr. Plinkett is WRONG! Yes, I said it. Cum at in me, bro!

  • Palpatine

    What would you call the mineshaft?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i dunno… i’m horny…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the manhole!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It actually looks real, unlike the CGI in Episode II and III [where Clone Troopers were involved]. Remember how fake they looked?

  • Palpatine

    According to Episode II, the bug people did design the Death Star.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats my point! like Jorge said FUCK THEM!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It showed a pimped out Star Destroyer in space.

    Thanks, Xzibit!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You’re getting warmer.

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • Cream-A-Thon

    “You didn’t build that…”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Are those the three blanks?

    I was the back of a Buick when The Phantom Menace came out. Now I’m a bucket.

    If you do the calculations, I was born in … Tuesday?

  • Palpatine

    So according to the Prequels; Darth Vader built C-3PO, the Force is microscopic organisms, bug people built the Death Star, and everything Obi-Wan told Luke about Anakin is a big fucking lie.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Apparently it was a ventilation shaft for one of the stations reactors.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    strangely i love that.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Gagging on a banana?

    Pfft. A pro would take that no problem. She got over gagging in her teens.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Speaking from experience?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    wait why in the name of all that is sexy would you live on a REACTOR VENT!!?!?!?!?!?!?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s right, Jay!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Aren’t we all?

  • Like Icare

    Notice also how little of Shia they show at all?

    It’s almost as if the movie was at some point supposed to be about Indiana Jones and his archeological adventures.
    Instead of about… hmm… I know! Wait… no… Not that either…
    I think it has something to do about aliens and Russians… but I’m not really sure about Russians cause I never really got any of that “Oh. Russians. That’s Russians.” vibe.

    Hey! Remember those natives? Where did they come from?
    We saw no native village there… was it in that same valley?
    Cause it all got drowned when aliens took off…

    Did Indy’s action just wipe out a lost pre-Columbian civilization?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    How did you know I changed “I” to “she” and “my” to “her”?!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its where Vince Gilligan got all his plot points for Breaking Bad.
    Fuck Everyone, then do it again!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Ask Palpy.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Jay needs to calm you down.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i did he blamed the termites.

  • Like Icare

    Because it belongs to him.
    Had he gotten into that whole royal “we” thing he might have called it “ourshaft”.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    It takes one to know one. Cocksucker, that is.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    And why would they compact their trash when it’s been established that the Empire just dumps their refuse in space like no big thing? Is the Death Star LEED certified?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yep. its 3 am saturday i’m shit faced.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    ♫ If he likes it then he should put a ring on it ♪

  • Like Icare

    It cuts down on the heating bill.

    Palpy’s old. He likes to keep the thermostat up.
    And he still has to pay for BOTH space stations.
    A credit saved is a credit earned.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Republic Credits are no good here!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “It’s heroin, kid.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    opiates suck. i prefer hallucinogens.

  • Palpatine

    ♫The best part of waking up, is acid your cup!♫

  • Andrew Thompson.

    LSD? sorry wrong comment…

  • Like Icare

    Best part of waking up…

  • Like Icare

    Gravity.

    Their ships dump the garbage into space as all it takes is a little mechanical acceleration to get that garbage to move away from the ship on its own.

    On a moon-sized space station they would have to chuck it out real far, or it would just fall back on the station.

    So, they might need to compact it first it into a big cube first, and then chuck it out into space all at once, using an electromagnetic mass-driver catapult.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Auralnauts. 🙂

  • Andrew Thompson.

    hell yeah. The MK-Ultra diet is the only one for me and my 5 headed cat.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    cock ring*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    quiet giant spider! your not the boss of me!!!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    anal*

  • Like Icare

    It rhymes… like poetry.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Analnaut* i fixed it.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    What did you think I was referring to by ‘it’?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I wonder how much of that film was due to Damon Lindelof, Roberto Orci, and Alex Kurtzman being hacks or JJ being a fraud.

  • Like Icare

    Even more reasons to save on the heating bill.
    Space is cold, you know?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I thought that part was implied.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    not really. you should see the cooling bill for the ISS. sun=hot even in space.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’ve partaken of shrooms on a half-dozen occasions to mostly positive effect. The first time I saw the creation of the universe, the Earth, and the history of mankind up until the crucifixion of Christ. Actually it was 1,000 tiny Jesus’s on crosses somehow trapped in my friends rug.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQK9k42ongU

  • Like Icare

    They don’t call it ultra for nothin.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    *inserted?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    The cooling bill? So.. Clinton?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    first time i dropped was in the first gulf war. soooo many tiny little Sadams.

  • Like Icare

    ISS is an orbiting station. Death Star has to go where no man has gone before.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    All this talk about cop-porn made me wanna film make some, but I just managed to burn it 🙁

  • Andrew Thompson.

    to the new Plinkett Review!!! Dear GOD!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Spider-Man 3 was a gift from my mom. That was April of 2007, so 8 years ago now. It was before I saw the film and when I still had hope it would be great. I was really, really hyped for it. Then it sucked, majorly. Oh well, the poster is still cool.

    Titanic, well, that was also a gift but given to me by my grandmother and back in either Christmas of 1997 or 1998 when I was a kid. That was my favourite film, mostly fuelled by the ship itself. At that stage in my life I was consuming everything Titanic and to be able to see the ship come to life so wonderfully on the big screen was amazing. Many of the special effects still hold up to this day.

    Quite honestly, though, they’re basically the only posters I have that haven’t fallen apart and I needed to cover the wall with something. Haha.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you could ask him to blow on it gently…

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Sometimes cigar is just a cigar…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    when it drops to 1-2 pops a second its time to pull it out.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    sometimes its a massive penis metaphor.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Yeah, but then you’re left with so many un-popped cherries kernels… It’s a balancing act, which I failed this time.

  • Like Icare

    Bonnie Parker kept trying to explain that but nobody would listen.

    “Public hostility increased five days later, when Barrow and Methvin killed 60-year-old Constable William “Cal” Campbell, a widower single father, near Commerce, Oklahoma.[102]
    They kidnapped Commerce police chief Percy Boyd, drove around with him,crossing the state line into Kansas, and let him go, giving him a clean shirt, a few dollars, and a request from Parker to tell the world she did not smoke cigars.”

  • Palpatine

    I wonder how Rich Evans is going to react to the new trailer?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    ok thats enough hatesexwardrugspelling crimes for oneday. sleepy time.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    So no need for my ‘warm milk funnel’?

  • Bubs

    Here’s a list of gripes for a movie that won’t be out for another year:

    *Does C3P0 really have to be in every movie? He’s a likable, fun, character. But are they really so scared and creatively bankrupt that they can’t come up with a new equivalence? I mean, having him in every movie is not only illogical, it’s fucking lazy.

    I mean jesus, just steal C3P0’s character and rename him C4P1. At least it will LOOK like you tried.

    *Why is R2D2 in this movie? This series takes place over 40 years. Don’t robots become out-dated in the Star Wars Universe? It’s like trying to write a term paper on a commodore 64. Shit, R2D2 was outdated in Episode 1. Those Droidekas looked way more useful than that beeping hunk of shit.

    *Why does Lucas still get top billing on this movie? I hope when I sell my children on the black market, they’ll still call me “pop pop” in our skype calls.

    *Why isn’t Chewbacca aging?! How long does a wookie live? He’s the same age he was in episode 1.

    *Warwick Davis is in this movie? Fuck. Here come the Ewoks.

    But seriously, this movie looks like fun.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Lucasfilm is still a thing. The Mouse just bought it from Jorje…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m wondering how much gravity the Death Star would have. No idea the material it’s made out of, but if we assume it’s the same density as steel and considering large portions of the ship are basically hollow, I’d say it doesn’t have much of a gravitational field. If one were to compress the Death Star down to the density of, say, the Earth [average density], I wonder how small it would be [the Death Star was something like 140-160 KM in diameter according to estimates].

    I’d say pretty small and not much gravity.

  • Palpatine

    “Why does Lucas still get top billing on this movie?” I think it’s because he wouldn’t brush his teeth until he got his way.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Stop talking about that stupid Julia Roberts flick!

  • Like Icare

    That’s your buyers remorse fucking with your brain.

    Do not try to pop all the kernels. That’s impossible.
    Instead… Only try to realize the truth.
    Some kernels are SUPPOSED TO remain unpopped.
    That is their nature. Destiny. Will of the Force. Zen. Wabi-sabi. Whatever.

    Then you can have perfect popcorn at the cost of accepting the imperfection of a few kernels.
    Accepting the imperfection as a necessity for existence of perfection.

    I know. Deep.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    C-3PO was in the trailer? I didn’t even see him.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    After man SM2 I think we were all hyped for the sequel.I had grand hopes for cinematic Venom depiction…ah well at least the emo Peter Parker dance sequence is better then both ASM movies combined.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Heavy Breathing: The Movie

  • Bubs

    He’s on the cast sheet from IMDB. ETA, and while I know these can be edited by pretty much anyone and are far from official. It’s enough evidence for me.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I know. The trick is to pop as many of the kernels as possible without burning any of the already popped corn. I was using a new brand of popcorn, so there was bound to be some trial and error involved.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Breeding*

  • dollar store cashier wife

    half of your points could be brushed off with “blatant fanservice.”

  • Bubs

    I think that applies to about 95% of what we’ll see in Ep 7.

  • Palpatine

    Kylo Ren (the main villain) is really C-3PO in disguise.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Hopefully not that high of a percentage.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Lets get some maths and graphs involved!

    If we take double derivatives we can find the solution. It’s a maximization problem! 😀

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    94%*

  • Palpatine

    32.34%

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Speak for yourself. You might have a ‘maximization problem’, but my junk is working just fine, thank you very much.

  • You’re being generous, Palpy.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    But your brain penis did…

  • Like Icare

    Well… for one, nobody floats on it so on the inside it is probably around 1 G. Does the artificial field extend outward and on the surface?
    We are not really sure – but X-wings and even stardestroyers were falling downward towards it.

    http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140920094002/disney/images/3/37/Super_Star_Destroyer%27s_defeat_2.jpg

    On the other hand, regarding garbage, it’s not the gravity pull – it’s the distance (square of) and relative gravity of the Death Star and the surrounding objects.

    Sure, Moon has 1/6 G – but Apollo astronauts still had to use rockets to lift off.
    Couldn’t just run real fast and then jump up.

    Much bigger things than astronauts and their module couldn’t resist even 1/6 G – we know by the size of the craters.
    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4f/Back_side_of_the_Moon_AS16-3021.jpg

  • Like Icare

    Yes.

  • Mr_Wint

    ” C-3P0 is one of the most different characters we’ve ever had, if we can make him work, we can make the movie work”. – GL

  • Cream-A-Thon

    In the space of 1 year Jorge sold other people’s hard work for $4 billion and married a honey. Not too shabby.

  • mister man

    PS4 doesn’t need console sellers. The Wii U is outselling the Xbone these days, console wars are over.

  • Earth

    With the prequels I couldn’t even tell if the actors were CGI or not, let alone the thousands of “extras”.

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • Bubs

    Agreed. Console wars ended in a bug shrug. Begun, the PC wars has.

  • Like Icare

    C-3PO?
    Why, he has to be in the movie. Cause he’s on the list.

    The list of things that your average everyday Joe knows about Star Wars, just through Osmosis alone.

    A desert planet, stardestroyers, Darth Vader, the Force, R2 D2, light saber, X-wing, bad guy in black gripping air with his hand, bad guys with red lightsabers (red means bad, kids), stormtroopers, an ice planet, the other x-wing, pew-pew lazers, those vertical strips of light inside the Death Star corridors, Millennium Falcon, Millennium Falcon flying through the inside of a large ship or space station, Chewbacca with his bowcaster wearing his bandolier belt, Han Solo wearing a dark brown jacket and a white shirt…
    …C-3PO, Priceness Leaia, Luke Skywalker, “NOOOOOOOUU!!!”, “I am your father”, “Use the force”, AT-AT walkers, robes, flying city in the clouds, sand people, little sand people, a space cantina, Yoda, asteroids…

  • dejectedchuckle

    Of many cinematic things Lucas can be blamed for… I don’t blame him for selling star wars. Star Wars basically ruined his first marriage and he was just getting re-married. I’d sell Star Wars too, were I in that position.

  • dejectedchuckle

    I would seek out the HD version of Ep 2, where the improved picture makes it extremely obvious that so many actors in so many scenes are the product of someone sitting behind a computer.

  • tOmy`

    Seems like shoddy planning again. Why was your throne room in a room with a massive hole? If I were you, I would have it in like a smaller room with hookers, booze, birch wooden paneling, big bed, you know, an actual living quarters.

    Also, what was the whole for? Was it like a core? Because it seems rather close from “the core” to the window. Who the fuck built that place?

  • tOmy`

    and the zoo!

  • Like Icare

    No, that’s the senate… and nobody remembers the senate.

    Or chancellor Velure. And he almost defeated Superman once.
    He stomped all over him. Get it? It’s because his name is Finis.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Political correctness?!
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

  • Like Icare

    C-3PO outgrows his programming and becomes sentient, followed shortly by an existentialist crisis brought on by his newly acquired understanding of his personal existence.

    Realizing further that as a robot he will never be able to harness the power of force and thus escape the confines of mortality (even metal rusts eventually) he vows to get revenge on his creator for making him imperfect – by exterminating every last Skywalker out there but not before turning them all to the Dark Side and thus depriving them the eternal existence of a Force-ghost.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That gravity was artificial. The decks of the Death Star are horizontal, like latitude lines on a globe. That means the gravitational lines were parallel to each other [or very close to it], all going perpendicular to the floors of the ship.

    If the Death Star had a strong enough gravitational field due to its mass, then the floors/decks would be spherical, getting smaller as you got closer to the centre. The problem with that is at a certain depth you would reach maximum gravitational potential, and then as you got closer to the centre from that depth you’d experience weaker and weaker gravity due to the mass of the Death Star being all around you instead of mostly underneath you. At the centre there would essentially be no gravity at all, although there would be a decent amount of air pressure.

    I’d wager the gravity on the Death Star due to its mass would be in the vicinity of the gravity experienced on mid-siezed-to-large comets, which is quite small. Their escape velocities are within the m/s range, as opposed to Earth and its 11.2 KM/s escape velocity [11,200 m/s]. That’s 4 orders of magnitude larger.

    Ouuuu. Lovely photo of the back side of the moon. 🙂

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    -_-

    Lets compare graph sizes! 😀

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    TASM2 is so bad it almost makes SM3 bearable.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s okay if they were wiped out because they were chasing Indy, i.e. they’re bad.

    Or some white dudes [Indy and gang] just fucked up a bunch of their shit and they were pissed. I forget what happened.

    Either way, the other bad guys shot them all. Then any survivors, like you said, either got ripped apart by that ship taking off or drowned when the giant crater filled with water.

    I wonder what scientists will think of all that seismic activity and a completely change in the geography overnight.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    yo mama*

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’d take it, too. I’d make all the Blade Runner, Alien, Robocop, and Adam Sandler, sequels they put in front of me for $4 billion dollars.

  • dejectedchuckle

    Beethoven 8: Wait isn’t it kind of ironic to name a dog after a man who spent most of his life essential deaf?

  • Earth

    I’m amazed anyone can even defend those effects anymore. The original trilogy has special effects that (for the most part) still look good today. The Star Wars prequels effects look on par with modern Asylum movies. In the years when movies like Titanic and Lord of the Rings movies were made, the prequels had no excuse to look as bad as they do now.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Beethoven 8: It’s Gonna Be Gr8

  • Like Icare

    Their gravity is artificial – like you said. No reason to have spherical decks.

    As for gravity at the center…
    Star Trek Enterprise explained that with the “sweet spot” – a sort of a Lagrange point where you could jump and float up to the ceiling and sit there.
    Not sure if some kind of gravity dampening fixes that later.

    The only question is – is there Earth gravity on the outer plating of the Death Star?
    They could just be using magnetic boots when needing to go outside… Then again there’s probably no need for that.
    Even Falcon has artificial gravity.

    It’s probably cheaper to cover the outer plating in gravity material than to stock magnetic boots.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I present you with Snuggies: The Movie:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0jGrrlldAM

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The dog’s not even hearing enabled? The dogs deaf? Whaaaaat?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Hell, I’d cover the Earth in nothing but Deuce Bigalow movies for $1 billion.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Beethoven: XXL.
    I’ll just show myself out.

  • Like Icare

    A major scientific expert on the subject was interviewed and he made the following statement:
    http://www.quickmeme.com/img/67/6797e3257bc99ba399af8c08baf0db6964328d733f726ed2acead5f849138cb1.jpg

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    So apparently, in Bloodborne, there’s a piece of equipment that drops your stamina regeneration without telling you in the description or otherwise.

    http://www.ign.com/articles/2015/04/15/bloodborne-item-makes-the-game-harder-without-telling-you

    So, if Rich Evans finds out about this after playing for 10+ hours, would he:

    Flip a table,
    Throw a controller into a wall,
    Deliver a cursing tirade to Jack that would be worthy of it’s own podcast.

  • Like Icare

    Colorectal politicness?

  • Like Icare

    d) masturbate with a Star Wars toy.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    e) all of the above

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Enough with the fuck buddies.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted
  • Palpatine

    This for all you fans of Star Wars vidya games:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwWLns7-xN8&feature=youtu.be

  • dollar store cashier wife

    No footage of actual gameplay is like a movie teaser without a single actual frame from the movie Palpy.

  • dejectedchuckle

    The De-Specialized editions are worth seeking out as well I think, to get a sense of how cheap and cobbled together some of the effects in the originals are. Like Darth Vaders Helmet in A New Hope is blatantly wood or like plaster painted over,

    http://i.imgur.com/iJCdUoP.jpg

    but unlike the CGI Clone Troopers or whatever this has actual weight in physical space. Like even if they hadn’t cleaned this up, it wouldn’t be as “fake” as the bad CGI…

  • Palpatine

    Maybe the graphic’s are that good.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Oh boy that reminds me of one of the first items I picked up in Dark Souls II which made the game harder and didn’t tell you about it.After about 2 hours of frustration I only realized once I went online to check for information for why I sucked so much at the game only to see that a single innocent lookin item fucked me over.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Schlock tease!

  • Palpatine

    *Cock tease!

    See, I can do it too!

  • dejectedchuckle

    This is what is lovingly referred to as a “bullshot” I believe.

  • The difference between Rich and Jack:

    Jack likes deck-building games.

    Rich likes desk-building games.

  • My ex wife

    On the bright side, now you don’t have to deal with those little bits that get in between your teeth and gums. Sombody invent popcorn with out those please.

  • My ex wife

    They made an entire show based on womens hair removal cream?

    Glad I don’t watch tv anymore.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    In the spirit and absence of BotW I’ve selected eight (8) videos from the u-toob of instructional, health, ‘general’, music, science, and technology short subjects and used wheeldecide.com to do Jessi’s dirty work:

    http://wheeldecide.com/index.php?c1=A+Serious+Look+At+Chainsaw+Safety+%28Ft.+Chainsaw+Charlie%29&c2=The+Relaxed+Wife&c3=STYX+-+Caught+in+the+Act&c4=Laughter%2C+Therapy+%26+Dementia+-+Australia&c5=Markets+of+Britain%2C+a+short+film+by+Lee+Titt&c6=Protein+Synthesis%3A+An+Epic+on+the+Cellular+Level&c7=Match+Your+Mood+%281968%29&c8=Battle+of+the+Network+Stars+1998+-+Part+1&c9=&t=&col=&time=5&width=&cols=&tcol=&x=56&y=24

    What’s on the Wheel, Johnny? Johnny? Oh…
    First up is fan favorite A Serious Look At Chainsaw Safety (Ft. Chainsaw Charlie):
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7o2hlMDUBdM

    Next, The Relaxed Wife :
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o27e9mGZHEo

    For our musical entry, a short film warning of the dangers of censorship from musical group STYX – Caught in the Act:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0yTeUrCjms

    From Australia, Laughter, Therapy & Dementia:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9YRMQyzntk

    From England comes Markets of Britain, a short film by Lee Titt:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSG2pD-2O2g

    From the 1960s psychedelic scene is our only one with genuine hippies and an actual Nobel prize winner: Protein Synthesis: An Epic on the Cellular Level:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTRmvnlNVw4

    Does your kitchen Match Your Mood (1968)?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_d2-G9_INM

    And finally, personal favorite, and the longest on the wheel, due to the inclusion of period correct commercials, Bea Arthur, and Olivia D’Abo, Battle of the Network Stars 1998 – Part 1
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paIJX0zKb3s

    Let’s spin the wheeeeeeeeellllllllllll….!

  • My ex wife

    I sat there watching it thinking, holy shit, I’m on Jacks side.

    Seems I was not alone.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Which one’s option number a)?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Empire Out of Endor NOW.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *warm ‘milk’ funnel

  • Palpatine

    We already had a base on Endor, and the Ewok leaders signed a referendum allowing us to annex the planet.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Semandicks!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Those Ewoks are pawns.

  • Palpatine

    I landed on Markets of Britain, A Serious Look at Chainsaw Safety, and The Relaxed Wife. Time to go torture myself.

  • RLMkeepitup

    even if they’re not (they won’t be) it will hopefully be fun like the old ones

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’ll repost the full list when this comment section has gone into the tertiary stage of derailment. It was just too soon, I realized. However, I got ‘Match Your Mood’ , ‘Styx: Caught in the Act,’ and ‘Markets of Britain’

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s kinda like how they don’t fill ink cartridges all the way, so that you’d think the printer just takes that much ink to print.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Is aluminum Falcon their home??? Where have they been living in the last 20 years? Under the bridge? In a toll booth???

  • WrongWithYourFace

    If they compact it they don’t have to take out the trash so often.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    At the bottom of the lake?!
    Wait, that’s already over…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think it might have been a small thermal exhaust port.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Could be an energy saving measure, less frequent flushing may provide the Empire with enough savings to help pay-down the loan they took out to build the damn thing. Military Industrial boondoggle if you ask me, even if the ends justified the means as it happened.

  • My ex wife

    Is it as magical as I dream it to be Taco?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “British markets are the envy of the wold, beautiful, exciting, erotic!”

  • My ex wife

    I like Gosling when he dosen’t talk and drives cars.
    He would be great in a remake of Bullitt.
    (I hope that never happens)

  • Palpatine

    I got bored with the chainsaw video. I just wanted to see Charlie get his face messed up.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    a small thermal exhaust hole?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *Taloyhtiön.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Now you’re just stretching it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *semen

  • Malevolence

    Need Rich to review the Second Star Wars teaser as well as the BvS leaked trailer 🙂

  • Trask

    I’ve seen the new SW trailer a few times and I just don’t like it. I don’t know why, can’t quite put my finger in on it.

  • My ex wife

    Ewww

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Just enough, don’t want it to become too sloppy.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Whopsies, replied to myself when I meant to reply to you. Time for bed apparently.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I don’t feel a bit tired. I could go all night!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Show off! I need to wake up bright and early Sunday morning (election duties) so can’t mess with the sleep cycle too much now. Have you voted yet?

  • Red Skeleton

    RLM, I’m going to ask you a couple of standard questions, okay? Are you, RLM, menstruating right now?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Nope. I should probably start deciding who to vote for.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’m giving that a shot. The lady in the ‘Match Your Mood’ video is likely on the tranquilizers being shilled in ‘The Relaxed Wife’. It’s a very free-spirited Antonioni tribute to the happiness derived from decorating your major appliances, alcoholism, and ennui.

  • Trask

    RLM is always menstruating… Why do you think they called it REDlettermedia.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Damn. Lighter kicked, Palpy, do you still have those Jedi weapons? I could use a light…

  • Red Skeleton

    Well thanks, asshole. You just ruined my username for me.

  • Red Skeleton

    I’m tempted to change my name to white skeleton, because white is the color of NOT menstruating, if feminine hygiene advertising is to be believed. Except Skeletons are already white… hm…

  • Trask

    I love you too. Your weird menstruation face will not change that.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Ask omitted what white is the color of.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Looks pretty, I guess. But we still have no idea whether the game plays like Battlefront or Battlefield. Well, in the latter case we’d at least get Battlefield in a more interesting setting.

    I have a bad feeling about that Y-Wing bombing run, though. Please don’t shove some killstreak-type bullshit in the game.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “T-shirt? Why don’t you just give me a sandwich board that says “Male Prostitute””

  • Palpatine
  • Red Skeleton

    On topic On acceptable off-topic topic, Just saw the new SW trailer. I have nothing to say except literally the day before it was released I was thinking about how cool it would be to have a star wars game level take place on a crashed Star Destroyer. CUE George Lucas J.J. Abrahams ripping me off.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    You can thank the good & Christian men & women of the US Navy, Air Force, DAPRA, and BAE for HAARP while you’re at it.

  • White T-shirt you say? http://i.imgur.com/Lghqyeh.jpg

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I dunno. Do you like pink Tacos?

  • Like Icare
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Ohh. You’re talking about the outside having artificial gravity.

    This is where my memory falters. Do we see people walking on the outside? I know the turrets and stuff are perpendicular to the surface, so I’m going to assume they have artificial gravity going towards the centre on at least the surface [or just beneath it]. No idea if that extends out into space or not.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think this is the closest we get to seeing anyone walking on the surface: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5Klx71qvOGI/UcW_gU6CeRI/AAAAAAAAA_g/YWhUUSdRk4E/s1600/Death+Star+Millennium+Falcon.jpg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey, they have Lando’s hispanic co-pilot

  • Like Icare

    Well… it all started as a hypothetical “This is why they might need trash compactors on the Death Star” explanation.

    As for outside gravity… Again… X-Wings falling downward towards the surface of the Death Star and that stardestroyer falling down pretty damn fast straight into the surface of the station.

    They COULD probably create some kind of a field to cancel the gravitational pull – but other than garbage disposal, what’s the point.
    Not stealth or anything…

    Oh… Oouuh… Well that’s embarrassing.
    I just had an idea that could have saved millions of lives and two perfectly fine Death Stars to the Empire’s taxpayers.

    Simply reversing the polarity of the gravity plating mounted on the surface and turning it up to 11 – thus making everything bounce away from the station.
    Like small fighters. Or their torpedoes.
    Then just blast them with all those guns.

    It would work as defense against meteors and asteroids too, and it could also be used for garbage disposal.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    He’s a person and his name is Nien Nunb.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Maybe the fighters and destroyer’s navigational systems got damaged so they just got steered into the Death Star instead of being pulled into it. Or some of the fighter pilots could have died before the crash and their bodies would fall on the control stick, causing them to steer down.

  • Mr.Fister

    your wife does… 😛

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t ever mix quotes with The Original Trilogy with the Prequels!

  • Otto T

    Demon’s Souls / Minecraft

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That ship at the end of the trailer is a Super Star Destroyer. Proof below. 🙂

    http://media2.firstshowing.net/firstshowing/img9/starwars7-trailer2-breakdown19-full.jpg

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The new Batman v Superman trailer is … meh. I’ve been burnt by Man of Steel and this seems like more of the same.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwfUnkBfdZ4

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Desk are like chables …

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    … What? This parody quote strays too far away from the original.

    Me no likie!

  • Trask

    Is that Neil deGrasse Tyson? From 00:22 – 00:30

  • Like Icare

    Debris still falls towards the Death Star and the gravity is strong enough that once some of the rebel fighters get blown up in the trench, by the second run there is no debris cloud at that spot.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8faBFPENMbg

    Which is what happens when effects are done with miniatures on a planet which has gravity – instead of all being rendered with computers.

    As for the stardestroyer, while it COULD be argued that it was maybe a navigation malfunction, a vessel that big will not have a single steering/navigation system and most certainly it would have multiple failsafes to prevent it from stalling into moons and planets it was orbiting.
    It IS the second biggest ship in the imperial fleet – right after the Death Star.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RW_hGOFukMQ

    On the other hand, had its engines just cut out (due to power failure caused by the destruction of the bridge) it should have continued to move in a straight line before and possibly falling into an orbit around the Death Star.

    It is again probably the consequence of filming it all on a planet with real gravity, trying to present a starship as falling down, and thinking about it in terms of airplanes.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Maybe like MoS this film will turn into unintentional schlock by the end.

    That alone would me make it enjoy it more then Marvel’s blandess cinema assault.

  • Is that Batman or Fatman? I mean, he looks like the meatslab he is in the comics but man, is that ridiculous and I’m not talking about the armor in the last shot.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Indeed that is. You can also hear Jesse Eisenb- er, I mean, Mark Zuckerb- er, I mean Lex Luthor talking as well in the teaser.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Okay, let me tell you the difference between Face-uhmm I mean LutherBook and everyone else, we don’t crash EVER! If those servers are down for even a day, our entire reputation is irreversibly destroyed! Users are fickle, Friendster has proved that. Even a few people leaving would reverberate through the entire userbase. The users are interconnected, that is the whole point. College kids are online because their friends are online, and if one domino goes, the other dominos go, don’t you get that? I am not going back to the Caribbean Night at AEPi!

  • Like Icare

    Not really. Even Frank Miller’s hippo-man fits into his own world.

    The thing that bothers me is the 1990’s quality Superman statue and the oh so fake graffiti on it.
    Seriously? That looked good enough? Even this early.

    I kinda liked the bit at the end where Zimmer plays with mixing/clashing together Batman and Superman themes.
    Not that anyone would be able to tell.

    CAUSE IT ALL JUST SOUNDS LIKE FUCKING LOUD DRUM BANGING!!!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its not, i checked the engines yesterday. it might be supposed to be. but its not.
    movie officially ruined!

  • I agree that statue was just terrible. The glowy eyes didn’t look any better either. Compared to what Star Wars teaser, this one is a joke.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Pics to support you?

    Here’s one to support my argument. 😛

    http://media.moddb.com/images/mods/1/11/10611/ssd_1_205.png

  • Palpatine

    *Shrugs*… Okay.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Drop the v. Just ‘Batman Superman’. It’s cleaner.”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I thought it was Chancellor Volare?

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • tOmy`

    I think the most important question hasn’t been answered yet:

    Is there gonna be LEGO Star Wars Episode VII?

  • Like Icare

    Anchoring it in the real world (with Neil deGrasse Tyson) is slightly bit more retarded than anchoring Iron Man with that Elon Musk cameo.

    Oh boy is Jeremy Irons a bad choice for Alfred.

    And that statue and graffiti… oh dear…

    Other than that… I really can’t see into this story.
    Batman vs. Superman fights take 5 minutes tops. Hell… Zod was dead in 5.

    It better be about a LOT more than just “Superman – do we fear him or do we want him to impregnate us?” for the other 2 and a half hours of the movie.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The rest is Batman and Superman brooding in the shadows because dark.

  • tOmy`

    MEH is right.

  • Like Icare

    Not a joke.

    Star Wars teaser was a scrupulous milking of references to drum up emotions.
    This is just… badly done and devoid of anything that should make me want to watch it – AND I’M A GOD DAMN FAN!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s the same one I posted, yet smaller! :O

    Oh, did I mention? The ship in the trailer is upside down.

  • tOmy`

    “I am on oprhan.”
    “Me too.”
    “Holy shit. Wanna grab a beer and talk about it?”

  • Palpatine

    But in all seriousness, this trailer did nothing for me. When watching the Episode VII trailer, I had a huge grin on my face, but when I watched this one, I had the same expression that Rich did when he watched the Robo-Cop remake trailer.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Like Icare

    Well, to be fair, we haven’t seen a peep from the actual villain of the story… though I have serious doubts that the blue parrot from Rio and Rio 2 is the way they should have went with Lex Fucking Luthor.

  • I think the answer is obvious.

  • Palpatine

    What’s wrong with Jeremy Irons? He was amazing in Dungeons & Dragons:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL89_pxgQtY

  • tOmy`

    Fun fact: Furious 7 trailer is still the fucking best.

  • It’s ‘Batmeh vs Supermeh’ while Star Wars VII feels truly like a new hope for the franchise.

  • Dat Vin Diesel Bootay is hard to top.

  • Blood Debt has got a really catchy tune.

  • Palpatine

    I just can’t for Mike, Jay, and Rich to make a review and piss off all the DC fanboys who will call them Marvel shills.

  • Mr_Wint

    Yousa’ crazy.

  • Like Icare

    He sounds like the guy who kills hero’s parents in order to take over the kingdom – not a loving, caring, grandpa butler.

  • Mr_Wint

    I was just listening to that the other morning, Mr. Maggit. Reinvigorates the spirit.

  • Like Icare

    That was his legally changed name after he got kicked out of the senate.

  • Like Icare

    Yes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You’re damn straight!

  • Palpatine

    Looks like Jay already gave his review of Batmeh V. Supermeh:
    https://twitter.com/JayBauman1/status/589159126334181376

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Agreed.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    “You just want to suck the joy out of everything, Zack Snyder.”

    –Rocket Raccoon

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its still missing 4 engines.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Maybe in Zack Snyder’s universe it’s Alfred who finally kills Batman because “don’t trust anyone” trope.

    So Jeremy Irons totally makes sense.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    wait, why was iron man in this?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The dude does get things done, you can’t argue with results.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Here’s what I figure. Those two engines are too low to be seen over the engines closest to the camera. We see the closest engine to us is all rekt. The one on the far right is either where the red arrow goes or where the pink dotted line goes.

    http://imgur.com/n0S4Gew

  • RLMkeepitup

    pure ham with no fillers

  • Like Icare

    That theory would require Batman to be either a) extremely stupid; b) insane or c) both.

    Neil Gaiman did the b story, sorta, kinda, in “Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?”
    Batman concluded that it was “impossible”.
    I simply find it stupid.

    http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9e8hhHg8L1qhemtlo1_500.jpg

  • Cream-A-Thon

    That man can eat.

  • RLMkeepitup

    my question is how these destroyers are surviving the planet impact and what would cause them to crash or go derelict in a desert

  • RLMkeepitup

    still waiting for the men in tights film fad fetish to wear off

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sounds like a Mike response

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s like a fucking year from now. It’s way too soon to see what will be happening. Also consider it’s from an Oscar winning writer. I like this teaser but it’s only teaser. The image of people reaching out just to touch Superman or kneeling to him like he is Christ is kinda unsettling. I do like the creepy line Mark Zuckerberg says and actually like his casting. I am not sure on the voice changer yet but both Batsuits that Asschin wears look pretty cool. I hope this time there is more of a balance of ideas, characters, and visuals unlike Man of Steel which I must admit had all three but there was much more focus on the visuals and that balance really stupidly with characters and ideas. But once more there is a better writer this time around and Ben Affleck had a big voice in the production of the film. As a teaser this did it’s job and in my opinion well I think as well as the Star Wars teaser did in November. I’ll wait til Comic Con or whenever to give a response more to all you’s liking because that’s when we know more about it. Also I like how even though we know Aquaman, Wonder Woman, and The Flash played by a weirdo are in the movie they don’t focus on them. Meaning this is Batman and Superman focused, or at least I hope.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fast and Furious 8 is better

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftn9_gRQCag

  • Like Icare

    Don’t they have like decades of movies planned already?

    Also… about the time they finish making the current serials, copyrights for the big ones (Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Joker…) will start running out.
    I.e. Everyone will be free to make those movies.

    EVERYONE!!!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s directed by Zack Snyder.

    That’s enough to worry in regards to quality.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Because “it looks cool” and “yeah, it looks cool”.

  • Bubs

    So yeah… Jesse Eisenberg… horribly miscast? Or hooorribly miscast?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I think I’m gonna have to go watch some Dean Cain and Smallville to get a Superman I can actually see.

  • Bubs

    It’s not their fault DC has the gayest characters ever. Except for Batman, but really we only have Christopher Nolan to thank for that. Before him, Batman was pretty gay too.

  • Palpatine

    Who could forget the good ol’ Bat-Nipples?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t care about Snyder, all I care about is that fucker Goyer.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    they are set higher than the other 12 it is possible.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Smallville can suck my balls. The only good thing about is Lex Luthor and everything else is so “”””””””edgy””””””” that it hurts.

  • Palpatine

    What are you two nerds debating about?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Director: Zack Snyder. Strike One. Follow up to “Man of Steel”. Strike two. Most of the cast is miscast (not bad actors, but wrong for the roles). Strike three.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    weather or not the crashed ship is a Super star destroyer.
    i’m sure we can all agree it wasnt the Executor.
    https://youtu.be/RW_hGOFukMQ

    what the fuck was that made of Palpy old Hindenburg’s? oh the humanity!

  • Drain

    What is it with you trolls and your worthless 1 liners? Try posting something with a point.

  • Drain

    Get smarter.

  • Palpatine

    INTENSIFY FORWARD FIAH POWAH!!!!

  • RLMkeepitup

    I should have mentioned space cop is the obvious exception and there should be countless sequels and spin offs.

  • Drain

    I wish they’d stop cloning Dark Souls and make another Lost Kingsdoms already. But then again, it would probably just get a terrible PC port like their Dark Soul games, so maybe we’re better off.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    People age giving way too much credit to Chris Terrio. He was brought in for rewrites, they started filming with a David Goyer script. So he won an Academy Award? Big deal. Akiva Goldsman who wrote that classic known as “Batman and Robin” also won an Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay (A Beautiful Mind).

  • Andrew Thompson.

    TOO LATE!
    i love that bit. the crash was impressively staged.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the lex for President story line was fun.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Can Smallville fuck your nut sack, though? That’s what Rich Evans would do.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Chris Terrio and David S. Goyer?

    One has a spotty track record and the other doesn’t really have a tack record.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Good point. But this it’s a fucking year from now.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    In a decent universe, Sucker Punch would’ve killed Zack Snyder’s career. This universe sucks ass.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its a ships graveyard. why they put it on a planet rather in space where the zero g would assist dismantling. i dont know…
    vvvvvvvv

  • Andrew Thompson.

    ^^^^^^^^^^

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hold on! Of all of the shit from the Dark Knight Returns you gave him a gun? That was fucking stupid and you’re bringing that in. Now I see the suckage

    http://i.imgur.com/znZocLv.jpg

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You can’t just reverse gravity.

    If you could, don’t you think Sandra Bullock would have done that in her film?

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Cream-A-Thon

    I thought Affleck’s performance in ‘Hollywoodland’ as George Reeves was pretty good. Not a great movie, just a good one, for rainy Saturday afternoons.

  • fred

    For the record I do not give a single shit about this movie; but for the sake of accuracy, he does use a grapple gun which looks like a rifle in the comic.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Why’d ya think they built the LHC? Wake up, sheeple.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    and on the day he snapped Batman killed 78 people before surrendering to police. he was sentenced to three life terms.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Alexander Payne (Oscars for his scripts for The Descendants and Sideways, but also from About Schmidt, Nebraska, Election, etc) wrote the script for Jurassic Park III.

    Yep, I’m shocked that JPIII had a script at all.

  • fred

    I can’t wait for the heat death of the universe, as the great Rich Evans foretold.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Goyer is a good story guy but sometimes a shitty writer and director as evident by Blade Trinity. Terrio wrote a very good movie made by Ben Affleck. Weird mix

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Gun shot, fade to black.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Alan”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    What was his age, though?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    WHAT KIND OF NINTH GRADE BULLSHIT TRIPE IS THIS SHIT?!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    DAMN!

  • RLMkeepitup

    considering that bullets bounce off superman’s eye, I’m not sure what batboy is gonna be able to do http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QM5lm3Q1a7g/T3YRzkYp2BI/AAAAAAAAOCw/PsNIms0hM4s/s1600/screencap_4.jpg

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Only through the elimination of Hack Snyder can we achieve world peace.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    OH. MY. GOD. I thought that was an antenna. That’s what I get for watching the trailer in lo-res. And I thought it couldn’t get worse.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    kryptonite bullets.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey, guys, someone mention Jurassic Park 3. Let’s talk about how shitty that is starting with the raptor dream scene.

  • RLMkeepitup
  • Cream-A-Thon

    ““Now thanks to our friends in the meat company, please help yourself to some tripe.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i saw it on smallville.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Actually, never mind that sounds smart but Superman is one fast mother fucker. Even though he is Batman I doubt he can hit him.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’m not sure i care enough to hate it. its to bland to even hate.

  • Palpatine

    That’s one of the funniest scenes in film history.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Truth be told, apparently they attached Alexander’s Payne name after the fact to give the production some credibility. From everything I’ve read that movie started shooting without a script. They knew what set pieces they wanted to include (the aviary, T-Rex vs. Spino, etc) but they didn’t have a connective tissue for them. Also, they never had an ending for it, which really shows.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Does that balance out the rage inducing fact that Laura Dern and Alan Grant don’t have kids?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    sneak attack. or rely on the fact that superman never dodges bullets because they cant hurt him.

  • Palpatine

    Did Dr. Grant even want kids?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    In the beginning of the first film he’s like “FUCK NO!” but by the end you can tell that he is ready to become a father. He doesn’t say it but you can tell visually.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he wasnt a priest?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Why doesn’t Batman have a bat-shaped gun? Do his bullets have the batman logo on them so forensics can know ahead of time without wasting taxpayer money determining who did the shooting?

    Does his gun make that “Brrrrrong” sound when he pulls the trigger? Do his guns have steady aim for all the shaky cam shots he’s gonna be in?

    I can’t have any fun with this. This whole movie just seems so depressing.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Dr. Grant hates kids, that’s why he went to that island in JP3 just to save a random one.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’d only save the scene with the Pteranodons, and even that is a bagfull of stupid.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Andrew, I am playing Devil’s advocate here, not you.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Adam West could lend him some
    bat-gun stabilization spray.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    good i need a lawyer.

  • Palpatine

    The filmmakers made Dr. Sattler marry a guy who works for the government so that she can have her husband call in the military at the end to save the people on the island.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Superman kills, Batman uses guns. Fuck movies.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So instead of making that person/plot convenience like a relative they had to insult the audience by making him her husband. This shit makes no sense.

  • RLMkeepitup
  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    But what if he sprays himself in the face by accident, or the wind blows the wrong way? What if he uses it in his superman buster suit and it causes rust?!

    You have to think these things through, Andrew. Adam West is too old to think through all the potential consequences.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    When they live off the island? That scene needs to be burned.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    why dont they just kill all our childhoods and make batman a rapist and superman a child abusing priest.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    He wasn’t a true believer. This was the result.

    http://www.joblo.com/newsimages1/unpopular-event-horizon-sam-neill.jpg

  • Hank_Henshaw

    No, I mean the scene in the Aviary with the dilapidated bridges and the fog. That part was fine.

    The ending is just weird, with everyone smiling inside the helicopter.

  • Palpatine

    Also, why were Tea Leoni and William H. Macy in that movie? That is some of the worst miscasting in film history.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he sprays most of it down his pants.

  • Palpatine

    He played the adult version of Damien Thorn in The Omen III.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    whats wrong with your face!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    they are? i dont remember any of that movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh that scene I don’t mind all that much but the ending is highly confusing. Fucking dinosaurs are loose off the island and they can kill people and animals and fuck the planet and you are smiling?! What a kick in the balls to my love for a great film and logic.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    William H. Macy was there because you need to have indie movie actors (Dern, Goldblum, Moore, Postlethwaite, Stormare) in Jurassic Park. Something Jurassic World is not doing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He was in it. This was his reaction to the movie.

    https://rossbirks.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/picture-1.png

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about the ending or the “Alan” scene

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m not sure the Pteranodons would’ve been able to fly all the way to the mainland. Then again, those were souped-up pteranodons that could lift an adult. So, who knows?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Oooh, this could be fun!

    Batman should turn into a serial killer like Amazing Spiderman 2, where he goes after every person who kinda looks like the mugger who killed his parents.

    Superman has a fetish of bashing satellites in earth’s orbit, constantly breaking them during TV shows’ peak hours and pissing off residents the world over. He then chucks the satellites into the ocean, but not before skipping it across the surface in hopes of taking out an orca pod. Peta creates Pacific Rim-style Kaijus in the shape of fluffy animals to try to take him out, only to see Superman lift the Kaijus, take them to Africa, and try to wipe out the remaining rhino population out of spite.

  • RLMkeepitup

    or when the spinodino swallows the satellite phone and its still ringing

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the massive damage to the australian environment just from Cats and dogs made that part of the movie fucking disturbing.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    ugh

  • Palpatine

    The helicopters should’ve shot those things out of the sky.

  • Palpatine

    Or when they’re digging through the Spino shit and that one dino comes along, sniffs them, and then leaves.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Nah that makes too much sense, Frank. Since they don’t have Spielberg they have to pretend they do.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    wow… *backs away slowly…

  • Hank_Henshaw

    and by ending, you could include (other than the aforementioned escaped pteranodons): how the raptors took their eggs and just left, how there’s no real climax (the marines and the army just show up).

  • Andrew Thompson.

    shit is unappetizing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Or what about the Spino killing the badass T-Rex in the first few minutes of the main characters being on the island resulting in our inner child screaming in pain and agony?

  • RLMkeepitup

    I liked it when the kid he finds is so bad ass he has T rex piss in a jar. and also he happens to have read Ian Malcoms books.

  • Palpatine

    Fuck that scene. Hopefully T-Rex will kick the shit out of the I-Rex in Jurassic World. If that happens, I’ll stand up in my seat and cheer.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    knowing there were more T-rexes (T-rexi?) in the island, I hoped the ending would be 2 t-rexes taking revenge on the Spino. But no, that never happened. ( ._.)

  • Andrew Thompson.

    wait, i do remember that. the hero of the first movie brutally murdered.
    your right FUCK THIS MOVIE!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    AMEN!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    With the title card “Only through the elimination of violence can we achieve world peace”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Hey, the hero of the first movie makes a return in Jurassic World. She will even have the scars from her fight with the raptors. The t-rex killed in JP3 was a different one (different island).

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yay! still fuck that movie too.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    and Wonder Woman a prostitute that uses her Whip of Truth to subdue her pimp.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Hey, if Zack Snyder can get away with this bullshit, why can’t the rest of us?

  • Palpatine

    Or how about; “t-rex collins, age 45, gave herself up to the authorities after the incident. she is now serving a life sentance.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Also what kind of stupid asshole idiot head will take his child on a vacation near not only an uncharted island but one with ruins of some sort of scientific research base that is filled with Dinosaurs. How come they didn’t notice the flying asshole dinosaurs that were at the end? They fly and you didn’t notice them at!?!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    so he was a priest. weird.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No he banged Elizabeth Hurley in the 90’s…wait wrong Grant.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    He knew very well that kid would be able to survive for 8 weeks by himself, eating expired junk food from an INGen truck and using his ninja skills to collect t-rex urine to fend off other predators.

  • Palpatine

    The government of Costa Rica or the U.N. should’ve set up a naval blockade around the island. The U.S. did something similar during a little event called World War I!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Also how this little shit stain that doesn’t look like his parents survive not being eating by the flying assholes, the Spino, the T-Rex, and the Raptors? Those seem like hard things to hide from but he survived somehow.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    in the book they napalm the shit out of the island.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    He made a camo suit for himself, and he had gas grenades. It’s all clearly explained in the movie!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the guy who invented her got fired for making it kinky bondage porn.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He also had a derringer rocket launcher under his sleeve to that comes like it does in Taxi Driver.

  • Palpatine

    Technically that was the first island, the island in the second and third movies was a different one.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    same in the books.
    one was a breedingresearch base the other was the park.

  • RLMkeepitup

    speaking of JP stuff, here’s a fan trailer that keeps the original cast (JP world seems missing that nostalgia feel) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3-fGP6L-nc

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Superman’s original artist also drew some bondage comics, but that was AFTER he was fired from DC.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    did you notice they couldnt get the prop to spring load?

  • Palpatine

    That is funniest thing I’ve seen all day. The text-to-speech voice at the beginning was the best part. I also loved the techno remix of the theme song.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Where’s Bryce Dallas Howard and her Karen O hair? Wait hold on I was in a movie with her…OH GOD I’M GETTING FLASHBACKS TO THE VILLAGE!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I liked the one where they had the raptors riding bikes.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ah2xFRUaOg

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i need to see that movie or i will die.

  • Get fucked! 😀

  • Palpatine

    The death of a man, forces old friends to reunite, to confront their demons, and bury the past, it’s time to go back, it’s time to finish what they started.

  • RLMkeepitup

    that sounds hilarious! Hey if they’re “smarter than dolphins, whales, and primates” then I guess its canon, why not.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i need to see that as well.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    proof that Disney should have made the prequels.

    https://youtu.be/qSgJeVwjnpc

  • RLMkeepitup

    Palpy’s voice made me tear up a lil bit over here.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    in the song its good. but at the end it made me want to punch whoever did it in the throat.

  • Bubs

    Pretty good. It’s a shame the singer is tone deaf.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its disney not sony.

  • Palpatine

    This guy took the liberty of parodying a number of Disney songs:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sb0HmsPEt68

  • Andrew Thompson.

    all property is theft.

  • Palpatine

    Just because you were a hat, that dosen’t mean you can play Web Sheriff Woody!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Morality is subjective.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This version is better

    https://youtu.be/I4HmlBRWRjQ

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    Omitted is rubbing off on all of us.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    It’s like I’m here even when I’m not.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Oh Jay, just wait ’till I get you into my basement…

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    one out*

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jaws, if you’re out there, give us a sign.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    bite*

  • Cream-A-Thon

    That’ll do pig, that’ll do.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Oink oink!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Hey, keep it in The Manhole.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He wrote Man of Steel story/screenplay, which sucked. He wrote The Unborn. Screenplay for Jumper. The Dark Knight Rises was pretty weak in the writing department. Spotty track record. Chris Terrio wrote Heights and the screenplay for Argo. Two films. Not sure if he has a track record.

    Anyway, film leaves me mostly indifferent. The Man of Steel teaser and trailers did not as I was excited, but then I saw Man of Steel and … nope. I was hoping this would perhaps change my mind but it just further cements that it’ll probably be mediocre [and far too serious].

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Superman, Daredevil, Batman … what next?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Taco we’re done talking about that crap. We’re talking Jurassic Park 3

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Stretch Armstrong Oh please please please please please.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Are there any franchise fuck you’s as bad as Jurassic Park 3?

  • Palpatine

    Some of the films from the Halloween series. In particular, Halloween 5, 6, and Resurrection.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh yeah. “I have to go and do something. AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGH” and Busta Rhymes killing Michael Myers. How can I forget those?

  • Palpatine

    5 is the worst one in my opinion. And it’s not even enjoyable bad like Resurrection.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    5 is like a funeral for some drug addict that used to be your friend. You like this guy at one point but now that he’s at his end it’s ugly, sour, and you don’t want to look at it.

  • dejectedchuckle

    Jason X. The series had plenty of meh to bad movies before that point, but Jason X was that absolute exhaustion of an idea that’s painful to watch.

  • Palpatine

    I can make a Plinkett style review talking about how bad that movie is.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Another one would be the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street with Rorschach and Catherine

  • Palpatine

    The worst thing about is that it’s a sequel to the fourth one, which my favorite one in the series right after the first one. I just like to pretend that Michael Myers died at the end of 4 and the rest of the films are what he’s going through in hell.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t forget the ARRRRRGGGGGHHHH

  • Palpatine

    What one is that from?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Doctor Blofeld died before they could finish his last scene so they cut away to a shot of the hospital or whatever the last scene took place in and just reused an AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH he yelled earlier in the film.

  • Palpatine

    Oh, yeah and they show William Shatner’s face lying on the floor with a needle next to it after Paul Rudd beat him up. Now I remember, Sadly.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I just realized that I was talking about the other version of the film. Yeah, there’s two. I believe this made Michael Meyers a creepy weirdo because HE APPARENTLY HAD SEX WITH JAMIE AND SHE GAVE BIRTH TO HIS BABY! Why? Because apparently HE’S CONNECTED TO SOME CULT!

  • Palpatine

    That would be the Producer’s Cut of the film. It’s included in the Blu-ray box set that released last year. I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I actually like the Producer’s Cut better.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I do too actually but it’s still pretty fucking horrible

  • Palpatine

    What about the remake and it’s sequel? I found them both to be just OK. I like the first half of the remake, where you see Michael as a kid and the film does it’s own thing, but the second half of the film is really bad. The sequel to the remake, again, does it’s own thing, which I like.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The first one is okay and stupidly fun. The sequel is just stupid in a nonsensical way. They made Michael Meyers a hobo, a dirty filthy hobo. They made Lori an edgy goth and Rob Zombie loves himself apparently.

  • Palpatine

    If I were to give Michael Myers a backstory, it’d be short and simple. I’d have him be a normal kid from a normal family who just snapped one Halloween and started killing. No Druid cults, no dysfunctional family crap, just nice and mysterious.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    shave*

  • Bubs

    The Matrix: Revolted

  • You can’t go worse than Robocop 3.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Just seen the Batman v. Superdude trailer. So, they just gonna recreate the Dark Knight Returns fight? After they did the animated ones?

  • Yep. The twist is Superman is something akin to a dictator/god like in Injustice Gods Among Us.

  • Mehhhhh

    Christ. You guys are fucking dumb in regards to this medium. I love it when you talk about movies, seriously, you’re both decent (not quite Jay / Mike). But when it comes to games? You have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s a sequel to Shadow Fall, first off, much like how the Soul’s series is a sequel to King’s Field. Not to mention you guys rarely do a technical breakdown, understand any of the components, mechanisms, etc. I don’t think I’ve ever heard terms like physics, sub scattering, material composition, shaders, etc. Get some educated people who actually have experience in development (hence why Jay / Mike talk about movies, they are EDUCATED and have first hand experience in the production realms). You guys are the equivalent of watching two morons on a forum talk about “how cool a game totally is because we think so”.

    Get some technical facts, get some development experience, etc. Learn the proper jargon and start assessing games properly. It’s a disservice to the Red Letter Media name with what you guys are doing now and it’s cringe worthy to listen to your discussions.

  • Mehhhhh

    “I HEARD THIS GAME IS HARD, LOL. IT’S A THIRD PERSON ACTION GAME. BECAUSE IT’S THIRD PERSON AND YOU HIT STUFF.”

  • Mehhhhh

    The Order 1886 (whilst not even comparable gameplay wise to Bloodborne) is head and shoulders above Bloodborne when it comes to graphic fidelity. Art design doesn’t make good graphics, let alone, something earning the title of “best looking”. If this was the case Blizzard would be making the “best looking” games. Bloodborne has art direction that shits on everything – But does that technically make it the best looking game? Not even fucking close. The Order 1886 set the water mark for graphics in a number of areas and it’s jaw dropping and incredible.

  • Mehhhhh

    The stats all have descriptions, as do weapons, items, etc. Learn to fucking read.

  • Earth

    I love that they released it while the Star Wars hype is still up. The reaction of most people now is: Aw cool a new Star Wars trailer! oh there’s a new Batman movie? ok.

  • Mehhhhh

    Rich even looks frustrated with the co-hosts stupidity. Find someone of caliber. Please for the love of God stop slaughtering this medium with these juvenile discussions.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Who reads comics or watches stupid cartoons? I know I don’t!

  • Earth

    Except they’re doing it on their first meeting, rather than their last. So basically this is the most juvenile movie ever because rather than just talking to each other, they’re gonna fight, then fight more, and keep fighting, then at the end say, even though we just tried to kill each other let’s form the Justice League.

    ugh.

  • Earth

    So he just replied and made it clear it’s Lucas he loves, not actual Star Wars. What a strange human being.

    Apparently he’s never going to give the new movies a chance. Hilarious.

  • Showjaws
  • Showjaws

    sheesh where were you when rob zombie said action

  • Showjaws

    There is no God, there is nothing but fear, desperation and murder.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Do you even know what trolling means? Besides your post does not demand a quality response considering you’re just a morron who can’t differentiate between actual game and it’s technical presentation.Oh and for the record DS2 port is fine.

  • Fear is the mind killer.

  • DarkFluffy

    I also had hopes that Bloodborn would be a little more different. The dark gothic design reminded me very much of the first Devil may Cry (with the one and only Dante!) so I thought it would have be a more agil fighting style. But after 1 min in the Game I already noticed it is (more or less) the same as in Dark Souls and Demon’s Souls. Without shields…

  • Showjaws
  • Mehhhhh

    Looking better doesn’t mean technical superiority. Do I really have to sit and tell you why The Order 1886 is pushing the limits on graphic fidelity over a game like Bloodborne?

  • Call me when The Order is an open world game and then we’ll talk. Pulling off beautifully rendered objects in closed spaces is much easier doing the same in a huge open world and having to cope with hardware limitations. You’re basically praising The Order for being a glorified tech demo.

  • Mehhhhh

    But having said that. Jet Set Radio appears to have higher resolution textures, better draw distance, better level of detail, etc. The shadows are accurate and it has a dynamic light source that is shading the guys in the back whilst lighting the ones in front. Coupled with potentially higher frames of animation in Jet I’d say you could make the argument is has technical superiority. Honestly though the two images are not comparable as you can see one is a hi res capture and the other looks like a cell phone picture of someones TV.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Don’t watch it?

  • Showjaws

    It’s gonna suck harder than a V World hooker

  • Little Red Riding Jaws

    *GAY

  • I wanted to show screenshots from the same consoles. Here, compare it to THPS2 on PC. http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/0/8124/1303451-screen_shot_2010_03_19_at_3.50.01_pm.png

  • Andrew Thompson.

    much like reading your posts. meh i was going to give you 9 out of 11 but i just cant be bothered. 1 star.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the phantom menace.

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    First of all, I’ve finished Planescape: Torment, also known as one of the best games ever, and I’m back to my normal activities, which include occasional commenting on this webhole/menzone. How are you weirdos doing?

    And that’s not all! Several weeks ago I noticed the a slight increase in my optimism towards Star Wars the Force Awavhydk. The reasons for that were minor but pretty valid in my opinion:
    1) When asked about the Prequels, not only did JJ not talk about them, he called the Star Wars the “Star Wars” and not Episode 4.
    2) One of Empire’s screenwriters was working on the film’s script.
    3) There is was a leaked image of a dark jedi dude with a Revan-esque mask, which lets us know they appreciate the second best thing to happen to Star Wars after the actual three Star Wars movies.
    Now, that the second teaser is out and its pretty darn good, I’m officially kinda excited about Star Wars Needs to take a Nap.

    That’s all!
    P.S. Rich Evans can change the nature of a man.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Speaking of Resurrection: Alien Resurrection.

  • tOmy`

    + One more upvote for using Planescape: Torment in a sentence post 2000.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I was gonna watch DKR animated but then I found out that the voice actors are so bad that even I could do better. No mercy points for being Robocop.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That took place in, like, the 80’s or something, when Batman actually had to climb up walls with his regular grappling hook, instead swooping up in two seconds like in the animated series. I don’t think this movie takes place in the 80’s.

  • Like Icare

    Sure you can. Even in science fiction.

    Star Wars being science fantasy it is as simple as putting a switch on the gravity circuit that goes both down and up.

    As for Julia Roberts, she just might have done that too…
    After all, didn’t she like land on Earth using only a fire extinguisher?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    KotoR or die!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I got Planescape:Torment from GOG almost two years ago and I still haven’t tried it.I guess I’m afraid archaic D&D gameplay will hinder my enjoyment of the narrative.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They’ll wait until all three movies are out.

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    Play it. It’s so good I had to put several buckets under my chair to not flood my room with cum.

  • Some of the people who made Torment also made Neverwinter Nights 2 and the expansion Mask of The Betrayer. The expansion is very similar to Torment in feel (albeit much shorter and linear). I’d recommend you try it if you haven’t already.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yeah, he was. The guy was completely aware of what he was doing and what he had gotten himself into.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    But why is the aluminum Falcon flying into the engines? Does Han Senile think it’s a hollow pipe he can fly through?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    your post script got rocky horror stuck in my head.

    Rich as Dr. Frank N. Furter, a scientist
    Jay as Janet Weiss, a heroine
    Mike as Brad Majors, a hero
    also staring
    Mike as Riff Raff, a handyman
    Jay as Magenta, a domestic
    and
    Rich as Dr. Everett V. Scott, a rival scientist

  • Little Red Riding Jaws

    rich is meatloaf, mike is the tranny for sure, its just a jump to the left, which is the manhole theme song

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Mike could never maintain the enthusiasm necessary to play frank. and the theme song for the manhole is clearly Gay Bar by Electric 6.
    https://youtu.be/HTN6Du3MCgI

    i find it hard to imagine a universe where i get sick of posting this song.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Is it sick to imagine a universe where you get hard for posting it?

  • Mr_Wint

    Mike/Jay will be the first one’s to tell you though, that they don’t know what they’re talking about when it comes to movies.

  • Mr_Wint

    There will be 50 combined-minutes of hand-held exposition of course, Mr. Bicycle.

  • Superjaws vs Batopuss
  • Mehhhhh

    That’s the most pathetic argument I’ve ever heard in my life. Something can’t be technically superior because other development cycles like bigger environments and in turn suffer graphically for it? At least you’re reasonable, yikes!

    The Order, no joke, was an engine built from the ground up. Bloodborne uses a physics engine that’s been in play for over ten years. You want to talk about work? The Order 1886 built a physics engine that “no one has ever used before” and is setting a standard right now.

    I don’t give a shit about what The Order 1886 is gameplay wise, this isn’t a discussion of gameplay. This is about technical achievements in graphic fidelity. Something you clearly (and the hosts) know absolutely fuck all about.

  • Mehhhhh

    And even if it is a tech demo….So be it. It’s still the best demonstration of graphic fidelity. The gameplay shouldn’t even been in this discussion….Nor should the art direction (as that’s up to opinion, perspective) but things like shaders, polycount count, physics, frames per animation, framerate ARE NOT. They are numbers that don’t have opinions attached to them and should be respected as such. You fucking morons always try and drag technical discussions into the realms of nonsense so you can fill the room with smoke and spread your bullshit around with excess.

  • Mehhhhh

    You’ve got to be one of the dumbest fucks in this discussion. The picture you’re using of Tony Hawk has a single model in it made up of a certain amount of polygons. Jet Grind Radio is an open world with multiple NPC’s, etc. They devoted the animations and polygons to the skater in THPS, but in JSR they worked them into the environments and frames of animations. Let me know when you have some technical numbers to compare shit with. This whole idea of “looking at the pictures to see which one totally looks cooler” is exactly what I’m fighting against. It’s total nonsense.

  • Uh, no, the video is not about technical marvels. And if you want to play impressive tech demos that play like crap, then please do. I don’t care. They clearly play games for the gameplay and when they talk about the looks, Bloodborne clearly looks better to them. You’re confusing aesthetics with technical prowess.

  • Thanks for the tips. So i think i ll give it a try once i m done with Witcher 3 and at a lower price.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    So what you’re saying is that opinion has nothing to do with the concept of a review and that a review is purely a representation of numbers? Okay… Sounds, like, super boring, man.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Moar pholygoons=bether lookin gaem?

  • Thank you for the ad personam arguments, that totally makes you legit. Jet set radio is hardly open world, if you’d played it, you would know. The maps are not bigger than the “Downhill Jam” level from Tony Hawk.

  • Clearly, but I’m too dumb a fuck to understand.

  • Keep in mind that THPS was primarily developed for PS1, that may also be a reason why it looks worse now. Even in comparison with THPS3 (PS2 era graphics), JSR looks better, due to aesthetic choices.

  • Earth

    I just realised with the whole “Do you bleed?” thing in the new Batman trailer. Leonidas said pretty much the exact same thing in 300 “I’ll prove to you that even a God can bleed” or something like that.

    So we have two films, both directed by Zack Snyder and both based on Frank Miller books, using pretty much the exact same line.

  • tOmy`

    However, Zack knows damn well that he won’t beat 300. Noone can.

  • tOmy`

    One of the dumbest fucks in this discussion?

    Holy shit, how do you even dare to call this a discussion?!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I saw a great moopie yesterday. Written and Directed by your struly. And by your struly I mean Elaine May.

  • tOmy`

    =13373|2 game

  • Earth

    Batman is the key to all this.

  • tOmy`

    “Fear is your only God”

  • tOmy`

    If we can make Batman’s eyes glow… because they never glowed like this before.

  • Earth

    We’ve seem them but we’ve never actually seen them fight. This is the first we’ll see them, pull out their little frowny faces and go to town.

  • tOmy`

    “Go-tham?”
    “Cut.”

  • tOmy`

    I just figured out the best possible ending for Badman vs. Superman:

    Superman uses his planet-spinning ability to turn back time, go back to a moment when Bruce’s parents got murdered and he stops the killer. Therefore, there will be no Badman, hence no more problems, but Superman will keep his happy-go-lucky-patriotic reputation – he prevents murder and actually makes Bruce happy.

    Can I get my Oscar now?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    No, but Oscar gets you at the Manhole.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    off*
    Challenge accepted!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    In America, you go to Manhole for night. In Soviet Russia, you stay in manhole 20 years.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Pro tip: when you get asked to officiate elections, make sure they’re spelled with an ‘r’.

  • Red Skeleton

    Ishtar? I bought it a few months ago to see for myself. What did you think?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Nope. Mikey and Nicky. ‘Twas fantastic. But I hear it was a commercial disaster at the time, so I’m wondering if I should actually watch Ishtar to see if it’s just another misunderstood gem.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Only if they fight first.

  • Palpatine

    I thought he said; “Do you plead?”.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Meh-tro-polis?”

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    I tried watching the trailer and I turned it off. It’s so hamfisted I don’t want to think or joke about it.

    And by the way, some people actually seriously consider the hero not changing his/her tragic past when they can to be some kind of a plot hole. There are dramatic rules, of course, but it’s always very easy to prove the actual character has no reason to change what happened to him. Sometimes they try to or even do it, but it’s always a part of realising what their purpose is and not a conclusion.

  • Palpatine

    Nah, it’ll end basically the same way The Dark Knight ended. Superman will give a long ass speech to Batman about them being the heroes the world deserves, but not the one’s it needs while the Hans Zimmer music we’ve heard in all these fucking movies plays in the background.

  • Red Skeleton

    I’m sorry, I know this is a personal question, but are you by any chance gay?

  • Red Skeleton

    I would highly suggest that. It wasn’t perfect, and the first third could be cut down to 5 minutes, but once they get to africa it’s thoroughly entertaining. Even the “aye aye aye aye ayyeeee *gibberish*” scene ended up being enjoyable. And it’s shot by the guy who did that Kill Colonel Sanders movie in China… what was it called again? “Talk With A Lisp Now?”

  • SkaMP

    It’s his Crime-Repellent-Bat-Gun it makes criminals explode.

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    So, here is a tough question:
    What is your favourite Plinkett Review joke? You have to pick one.

    Mine is:”…and I might even get all riled up to fight all those jackoffs that knocked down my christmas tree and then my even bigger tree. That’s my home!”

  • Red Skeleton

    Hard to pick just one, christ…. Easily my favorite RLM joke is the “Red Skeleton -> Red Skelton -> ‘It’s not Red Skeleton you jackass’ -> ‘Oh, this brick’s for me.'” chain of jokes.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Damn, if only I still had a VCR, I could get it from the li-berry… I shall watch it if I can hunt it down someday.

  • Bubs

    “So then Anakin kneels before Monster Mash and pledges his allegiance to the Graveyard Smash.”

  • Red Skeleton

    “Time to go in the Refrigerator!” reedit from the Plinkett Animated series in the episode Wonderful Plinkett also tops my lips (when Plinkett escapes dying in a burning building by going into the refrigerator, to the tune of Indiana Jones no less).

  • Palpatine

    That would have to be my favorite too.

  • tOmy`

    Garden State.
    And then you saw the movie.
    Uhm… what’s happening in this movie?
    That was actually the most shocking part of the movie…
    I hope he fucking dies.
    … better off than black people.

    Oh god, there is just way too many.

    Basically whole Cop Dog is one quote-stream for me.

  • Red Skeleton

    europe has it on DVD. Go europe.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s impossible to pick just one you monster.

    If I absolutely had to choose:

    “How do you know that? Hey, I asked you a question. How do you know he went in there to hide? Did you read the script too? Hey, what’s that? What’s that on the ground over there? Is that the script? “

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I europe. If I find I buy. Maybe.

  • Palpatine
  • Robby

    If I can pick one “skit” as the funniest, I’d do the fleshlight call from the Titanic review. I was in stitches the first time I heard it. Aside from that, my favorite line is from the Cop Dog review. “Instead of getting your metrosexual son a haircut, and slapping him across the face, the mom just agrees…”

    And stop talkin’ ’bout Garden State, lozr.

  • Like Icare

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lV7YSPvKZA

    It might be unconventional choice, but the sheer audacity and the accompanying visuals take it beyond a mere “non sequitur” joke and into the realm of “wait, did that just happen?” surrealism.

  • dejectedchuckle

    Rich and Jack are friends irl.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Anything is possible if your storytellers are lazy! 😀

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yes.

  • dejectedchuckle

    Almost all of the Bambi story/jokes in the Star Trek (I think it was star trek anyway) reviews are some of my favorite Plinkett jokes.

    But for single best joke… “…I still present them as evidence that Picard has male pattern baldness. That and he has a clear crown line on the back of his head. So then why does this photo show a cadet Picard that looks exactly line Shinzon? The answer is They Think The Audience Is Stupid.”

  • dejectedchuckle

    Batman: Look, you’re my best friend, so don’t take this the
    wrong way. In 20 years, if you’re still livin’ here, comin’ over to my
    house to watch the [FAKE GOTHAM TEAM] games, still workin’ [SUPERHEROISM], I’ll
    fuckin’ kill you. That’s not a threat, that’s a fact. I’ll fuckin’ kill
    you.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That was great.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It got leaked and to mitigate that, they just released the actual one online.

  • Buk Pravon

    Mine is “No, don’t shit in there! There’s a midget inside it!” (“Phantom Menace Commentary Track”)

    Gets me every time. 😀

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    World War I? Is the a prequel to World War II?

    When will Hollywood learn?!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    *Uses Lasso of Truth.*
    “Nice tits!”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That was The Amazing Spider-Man, not the second one.

    The second one, after trying for gritty reboot, became some hot mess of gritty reboot and silly Raimi-feel, without committing to either and having a VERY shitty story.

    “We want a more realistic costume … except in the sequel where we want the costume to look like the Raimi one with bigger eyes and shittier webbing design.”
    “We want it to feel grounded in reality … so we had a giant lizard fighting Spider-Man. The sequel has Spider-Man fighting a buy that can literally teleport and is made of electricity I guess? He can de-materialize but Spider-Man can still defeat him.”
    “We’ll have Gwen and Peter have the same argument a bunch of different times in the film … then kill her off without anybody really caring or being surprised since the death is a major part of the comics.”
    “We’ll make Green Goblin somehow look WORSE than the Raimi version.”
    “Oh, did we mention Rhino? Yeah … what the fuck were we thinking?!”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Grizzled.

  • its called bleach

    vote palpatine in the next election that will never happen

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “I can’t wait for the heat death of the universe”

    That’s mostly because it’s unfathomably far away.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He’s saying that to Robin, correct?

    *References Matt Damon Robin jokes that are almost 2 years old now.*

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    American Sniper v Superman

  • My ex wife

    I don’t get it. Superman is basicaly a god in terms of ability, Batman is just some guy in a suit.

    So where is the Vs part? Even if as Andrew said, Batman has become Ironman it’s still a Superman walk over.
    I don’t get it.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Not so much a joke but the too-long cumming-on-the-tv scene with the Olsen twins movie gave me vapor lock.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Electionr?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Where are the funny robots? Oh…

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I wanna kick it.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Now this is podracing: Brad Bird wanted to do an animated adaptation of The Spirit (waaaaaaay better fit than Frankie “Sexist” Miller). Here’s a test footage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=139&v=SqcJ2dFHNWM

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Kylo Ren and Poe Dameron singing about outer space

    https://youtu.be/9Aq4a7g_wdU

  • Earth

    Ha.

  • James Earl Jones

    That’s pretty fantastic.
    His Spirit does look like him, though, doesn’t he?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Who are we talking about here, Miller?

  • Earth

    I think he says “Do you bleed? You will”.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Pretty sure he says “Jew, you read?”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I liked what Legolambs did with the first trailer:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkpWUoEbi1A

  • Snake Squeezer

    The best ending would be a Batman and Superman sex scene, with full nudity and lots of quotes from Top Gun.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted
  • RLMkeepitup

    i’m guessing this guy rolls around for comic relief otherwise it seems odd them introducing new characters at press events before the movie has established wtf that is.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    But what the porn spoof would be like then?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Vat a country!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Two girls. (shudders)

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    one cup?

  • Earth

    These people need to learn how to enunciate, like Obsidian Jones motherfucker.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Fun fact, never seen it.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Me neither. I know it by reputation only.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Sure it’s pretty shitty.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Isn’t it already a porn spoof?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    lick*

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    dick*

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Finally a robot that is pro-bareback.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    sick*

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    It seems to have at least two jerks in it.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    frolic*

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I usually need only one: Jay.

  • Snake Squeezer

    It’s a money magnet. It sucks your money away from you.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

  • Snake Squeezer

    Do we really know if Jay knows the way of the gay? Out of the whole crew, I would have guessed Jack was the gay.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Pop, lock, and drop it.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Ha yaaah, ha!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Jack has a serious case of the not-gays: wife and kids.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Jack has kids. So totally gay.

  • Snake Squeezer

    That’s just his cover.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Two golden girls, one diaper?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    band?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Beard Girl and the Lil Beardettes

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I have!

    Oh… this wasn’t a competition, was it?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    No silly, cover is something you blow.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    And Old Camel Feet!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Ooooohhhhhhh*

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Damn, I already sucked and swallowed.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jack has some mad shooting range skills, too. I think he hit ‘Playing Dangerous’ or ‘Playing Dangerous 2’ first try.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Well, we know he ain’t shooting blanks.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    If it was, you probably lost

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    definitely*

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Shit, I need to get up in seven hours. And not just have an erection for Jay, but also be alert and awake. Someone force me to go to bed (all puns intended) or stop being entertaining!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Fucking sick of these rubber wearing automatons.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Actually, it kind of was a competition since I was dared by a friend(quote, unquote?). I had no idea what was coming (spoiler: shit). Fortunately it wasn’t that long (the video, not the shit. The shit was certainly too long).

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    You can wank in bed and have dreams about Jay right after…

  • Snake Squeezer

    He’s got great boom stick control.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Cream-A-Thon
  • Snake Squeezer

    These droids are pawns.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Are those X-Wings?

  • Palpatine

    I don’t know why, but some of these deleted scenes from Episode III are pretty good:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-hFh35U3go

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Oh, human moments? Off with those!

  • Palpatine

    The scene with Obi-Wan and Anakin at the elevators is great.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    It makes them look like actual friends.

  • Palpatine

    I also like the scenes with the senators discussing the situation of the Republic, it really sets the conflict for the later films.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I heard people say “Sure, Lucas isn’t much of director, but he’s a great editor”. Nope.

  • Palpatine

    That was his ex-wife who was the great editor.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ehhhh the prequels didn’t needed any MORE boring political dialogue.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    And Richard Chew

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s lacking some music though https://youtu.be/maPSi0qku_0

  • Palpatine

    Would his nickname be Dick Chew?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    It fucking better be

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    OK, you disgusting nerdlings, back to videogames. Which titles scream “childhood” at you when you think about them? I have two 3s – Tekken and Heroes of Might and Magic. Such a sweet lost time.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why here some of these deleted? Some of these make sense to keep. Lucas, why are you the fuck?!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That beep thing is fucking stupid, though. And why did Anakin seem so pissed off?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    For being obsessed with the mythical narrative structure, his understanding of movie language on the other hand, is quite poor.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    PMS. It’s real!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Mortal Kombat and Command and Conquer:Red Alert 2

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I see you are more hardcore.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I don’t know about that.HoMM and Tekken are pretty sweet choices.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Also that secret mustache twirling language they seem to have. And why did the fuel tank start to fill up?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    So, I don’t have to suck your dick?

  • Palpatine

    Fuck vidya games! We’re talking about Star Wars! Or you could talk about Star Wars vidya games.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m not gonna say no to a free deal c’mon now.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle