Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Epilogue:


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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonah-Falcon/525044162 Jonah Falcon

    Ink’s not cheap kids! The man runs a bishhhhness!

  • George Lucas

    Personally, I thought the prequels were really good.

  • Muskateers3

    I just wanna Fucking watch the MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D:<'

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Erin-Oliva/100001419217523 Erin Oliva

    You know who made the original Star Wars movies good? Joseph Campbell, Jim Henson, and the ACTORS. George Lucas actually is a shitty writer, director, FX person, and creepy “no underwear for very young Carrie Fisher” guy. He’s a little like Adam Sandler. He also made two to three good movies, and now they just keep getting worse and worse, yet somehow people keep giving him money.

    King of Sword Fights: Errol Flynn

    That edit w/the Hayden ghost is THE WORST THING about these prequels.

    Best part of this movie was R2-D2 kicking some ass
    Worst part of the movie, F*** it! JEDI ARE NOT IMMUNE TO LAVA!!! This scene takes the cake for stupid and unbelievable, and that’s saying an awful lot compared to how many other totally implausible things happen in these movies. What? Are we seriously supposed to think they’re keeping the searing heat away with the Force? 

    Actually, I retract that. The worst part is when Anakin saves Palpatine and out of F***ing nowhere decides to join him for absolutely no reason whatsover except maybe that he hates Mace Windu? Seriously dude? You really hated Samuel L. Jackson so much that you decided to turn your back on your friends, and your last shred of morality, and join up with the creepiest, most obvious villain around? Is Anakin a self-hating sociopath? Isn’t that an oximoron? This is the ultimate combination of the most oximoronical stupid shit in just about any movie ever.

    Skip this, and go watch Hellboy to see how Special FX in the “computer era” should be done… MINIMALLY! Also watch the Muppet Show episode with Mark Hamill b/c it’s awesome.

    HEY! I like the long hair! The jedi braid shit can suck it! No offense Chinese Imperial Guards… 

    Yeah… BTW the Clones age at least 2X faster than normal “humans” so they would be a bunch of lousy forty years olds or something, maybe older… if they aged really fast, which I think they did, then they’d be all like 80, or dead, before episodes 4-6.

    • JW6

      Not to take away anything from your post, but it would not have been the heat of the lava that killed ObiWan and Darth in the volcano fight, it would have been the poisonous gasses. Just so everyone is clear.

      • http://twitter.com/dmh3000 David Herbert

        Both can be a factor. Being that close to the lava, the heat would have killed them, but you’re right about the poisonous gasses, which should have started killing them the second they walked onto Mustafar without breathing equipment.

        • kli

          Ok so much in the prequels doesn’t make sense, thats true, but pointing this bit out is fairly retarded, as the old star wars are just as stupid in terms of the scientific realism aspects. I mean how is their gravity in the spaceships? Why do speeders float? How can you freeze someone in carbon? If youre at the bottom of the death star, is gravity towards the centre of the death star, or do you look out beneath your feet? I don’t care about any of those things, cause the originals were awesome, but if you also didn’t, then the whole lava comment is just irrelevant

          • http://twitter.com/dmh3000 David Herbert

            I get your point, but artificial gravity and anti-gravity is something science has been working on for a while in order to make space travel more convenient. It wouldn’t be unlikely that a government that spans hundreds of planets and has existed for over a millennium would have invented that technology. Much like how faster than light travel is possible.

            Carbon freezing does seem odd, though.

  • Lilacjuno0515

    wait I have a question if you guys have been fixing Plinketts, and he has no clue what a dvd player is then why is he watching the dvd version???

    • Space Cop Dog’s Day Out

      Regardless, it makes more sense then any given ten minutes within the prequels.

    • John Johnson

      Holy shit, you’re right! It’s like Plinkett only had 1 draft, and he was said “let’s go with it,” without anyone saying that it made no sense.

      • Bananna Hammock

        It’s better explained in the novels, Half in the bag takes place in Milwaukee, WI while the Plinkett reviews are in Teneck, NJ… I mean its like you people don’t even try.

  • guest

    Here’s the sad truth about all this:
    U.S. BOX OFFICE FIGURESStar Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace - $431,088,295 (Rank #1, 1999)Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones  - $302,191,252 (Rank #3, 2002)Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith  – $380,270,577 (Rank #1, 2005)                                   And that’s not even touching the hundreds of millions, if not billions, in additional revenue generated by home video and DVD sales, international box office, merchandising, toys, product tie-ins and licensing, etc.  Lucas simply didn’t need to spend that much effort on the scripts or pay other writers or directors that could have tightened up the vision.  He put the energy where it needed to go: on making effects laden action movies designed for mass appeal.  If the story and characters sucked, it didn’t matter.  This was Star Wars, and everyone was gonna see it and buy in regardless.  

    • http://twitter.com/WyldeGoose Max Wylde

      That’s why I call what George did a major scam, probably one of the biggest in entertainment history.

      However, it won’t last long. Right now, they’re working on another Star Wars TV show, but I already know just from my own circles that nobody is going to be fooled anymore. Whether or not it’s good, there’s better stuff to occupy our time.

      For me, George ruined everything so much that I will never bother with it again. I used to watch the Original Trilogy at least once a year. Now, I don’t. I stopped. I haven’t watched any Star Wars film since 2008. When I watch Hope or Empire, I can’t put the Prequels out of my mind.

      • Big D

        good thing ive only seen the prequels once and got drunk the last two so my ability to watch is not tainted however they did limit my ability to enjoy any new books of SW that come out because they dump that shit in there :( . . . i can only hope that when GL dies how ever buys out the rights will remove them and reboot the prequels only

        • tripleace

          Iv been constantly reading so many bad opinions about the prequels. I personally dont get whats so bad about them. anakin played a freaking good role, the script wasnt all that bad like people say, i mean cmon.

          his transformation was dead on and accurate and made complete sense to why he turned.

          can you please explain to me what is it thats so bad about the prequels except jar jar binks :)

          • I doesn’t get stuff

            You have said this same comment a number of times, you trollfucker. If you don’t understand, go interrupt the mailman from fucking your mom and tell her to get off her ass and raise her damn child.

    • Big D

      this is main point he is making, people a generally stupid or ignorant about movies and will go watch movie with nothing but eye candy and dum action cuz you dont need good story and characters for a strong long live movie to make the money just that big box office release and in GL case selling shit, so yes the sad truth is we did this to our self’s

      • Dicksaplenty Smith

        not me though, I just watched the birds and it was pretty awesome, I understand the ending was because hitchcock couldn’t shoot the scene of all the birds on the Golden Gate Bridge, but it was a great film

    • Bananna Hammock

      Here is the kicker though – sure he made plenty of money, but the original trilogy is a cultural landmark that will (would have) outlived all of us – the prequels are just cynical cash grabs. The true mark of a legend is that it makes everything before it obsolete, and everything afterwards bears its mark… You just simply cannot say that about anything in the prequels. Shit, the plinket reviews are the ONLY good thing to come from them.

      • tripleace

        Iv been constantly reading so many bad opinions about the prequels. I personally dont get whats so bad about them. anakin played a freaking good role, the script wasnt all that bad like people say, i mean cmon.

        his transformation was dead on and accurate and made complete sense to why he turned.

        can you please explain to me what is it thats so bad about the prequels except jar jar binks :)

        why are they cash grabs, they linked the movie perfectly. How didnt they link the sequels?

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dane-Corle/1556299225 Dane Corle

          There’s a lack of real care or attention as far as continuity goes. C-3P0 worked on Owen’s moisture farm in Episode 2, then goes back in Episode 4, and Owen doesn’t recognize him? Obi-Wan says he never owned a droid? Obi-Wan says that Anakin had said he wanted Luke to have his lightsaber? He got into an argument with Owen over it? Yoda was the one who trained Obi-Wan? How does Leia have any memories of Padme?

          As for the inherent quality of the films… seriously? Your on RLM, just watch the reviews.

        • http://twitter.com/banestyrelsen cream

          watch the actual reviews on this very website, idiot

        • Duh, dah plane boss dah plane

          You have said this same comment a number of times, you trollfucker. If you don’t understand, go interrupt the mailman from fucking your mom and tell her to get off her ass and explain things to her moron child.

        • zero_miles_per_hour

          The Phantom Menace was fine. It didn’t compare to the originals, which were literally so cool and epic that they completely changed movies forever, but it’s pretty good as a spin-off, like the TV shows and literature and games and specials and such. As for the next two, I guess you’d have to explain to me what isn’t bad about them. Especially the third one, it was like a movie made by amateurs or kids or something. I guess they had some cool stuff in them like lightsaber battles and Christopher Lee, but surely there’s more to it than that?

      • spicollidriver

        this. it’s not just about box office. there are dozens of movies that were very influential and are totally remembered by our “collective memory” that are nowhere near being one of the highest grossing films ever.

        for example, afaik Back to the Future isn’t even in the Top 100 of the biggest box office hits. but it is a “cultural landmark” with scenes of highest recognizability as well.

    • eliza

      But which ones are we going to show our kids? Which ones are going to endure for another generation or two? Be shown in film classes 50 years from now? I do believe that the prequels will fade away, and the originals will always be there (on Blu-Ray, if Disney gets its stuff together and releases the un-screwed-with versions for us now). Screw how much money Lucas made – it’s depressing, yeah, but screw it. We’ve still got the ones that we love. That’s all that matters.

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  • guest12

    General grievous was the only good thing in revenge of the sith.

    • John Johnson

      meh he was stoopid

      • Bananna Hammock

        Admiral Bone-to-pick was better.

  • Dicksaplenty Smith

    review hellboy, please. It was the worst movie I have seen. Hellboy seems to be a style over substance film with a painfully done plot, stupid writing and the worst acting Selma Blair has ever done. Personally there were just so many problems. What was worse was the antagonists.

  • Dicksaplenty Smith

    As stated by a reviewer of Howard the Duck: Lucas lost his pixie dust after Return of the Jedi. I elaborated that he found it again for last crusade, then accidently tripped and it went through the window of Christopher Nolan

  • Dicksaplenty Smith

    One thing guys, don’t let this ruin what a fascinating film series the originals were, let original star wars live on!

    • Dylen

      No

  • Nipples

    So, when are we shown what makes the “dark side” “dark” and the “good side” “good”? When has either side ever done something deserving of either title? Even in the original trilogy we’re never shown a time when the Empire has done something “evil”, or when the “good” Jedi have done something “good”. Fighting your opposition isn’t evil or good. It’s just the way nature plays out; you fight to protect your side. So aside from fighting back against the Rebellion, what evil things does the Empire do to the common folk? On the same note, what do the “good” guys do for the common folk? Because like Plinkett pointed out, in places like Corusant, nobody was really affected by the whole drama of the Emperor and the Republic and all that shit. Why did Palpatine want to rule the galaxy in the first place? What the hell is the point of him creating the Galactic Empire if he has no reason for all the benefits it would bestow upon him?

    • http://twitter.com/dmh3000 David Herbert

      The empire did blow up an innocent planet, that’s pretty evil. Aside from that though… yeah, I got nothing. We were told things, but not much on screen. It could be interpretted that only Grand Moff Tarkin wanted to do things like that.

      • guest

        Well, in addition to blowing up the planet, there’s Vader’s example with throwing people around and stuff that showed us he wasn’t just a policeman for a well-meaning empire, the Empire’s use of torture (remember that evil looking black torture droid with all the needles), their generally fascist attitude towards life, Vader being despotic even with his subordinates, the Empire’s plan to blow up another planet, Princess Leia’s tirade to them about tyranny which they didn’t dispute, they just made it clear to her they had the upper hand, the general police-state like atmosphere wherever they found storm troopers, like when they went into town, the general difference between commanders and atmosphere on the star destroyers vs the rebel commanders and their pilots/crew.

        I think the first couple movies did a good job of showing us who the bad guys were without telling us. If it were done along prequel lines, Lucas would have one really overt hamhanded scene in which he tries to convince us those empire guys are bad. Or maybe it would have just been established with a couple guys walking down a hallway and one guy saying how evil the empire was with totally flat delivery and flat response.

  • Azerbaijan Becky

    “You either die a hero, or live long enough to become a villain”

  • I_AM_SMRT

    You know what would have made the original series better, and would have allowed for more interesting prequels?

    “No Luke, The Emperor is your father…”

    • bugaboo

      Or, the Palpatine is Vader’s father

  • http://twitter.com/dmh3000 David Herbert

    Revenge was really bad at this since Grevious was introduced in the Clone Wars cartoon that came out just before the movie did. The only reason I knew about him was I saw the ads and recognised him, though I never watched the cartoon. Also, apparently his characterisation is completely different in that series.

    • http://www.facebook.com/conor.tobin.585 Conor Tobin

      Indeed, Grievous was quite the badass in Star Wars: Clone Wars. Nothing at all like the pathetic finger-twiddling excuse of an incarnation Episode III gave us.

      God I miss Star Wars: Clone Wars.

      • eliza

        I cannot second this enough. Same goes for Yoda, and Obi-Wan and Mace Windu and that chick that dies in the last episode and EVERYBODY… the Clone War shorts were more Star Wars than Lucas provided over seven and a half hours of sh*tty movie.

        • Jake

          And what’s more baffling is that all the shorts were written by… wait for it… George Lucas. So when he makes a series of 3-15 minute shorts he’s pretty good, but when he makes a feature-length movie (at least during the last decade) he sucks. I think that says a lot more than any thing else.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sean-Dion/100001763278600 Sean Dion

      WHICH CLONE WAR CARTOON?
      didn’t they make 2 of them?

      • http://twitter.com/dmh3000 David Herbert

        I only know of the one that was on Cartoon Network. I think it was in 2004 or something?

  • dicksaplenty smith

    I got it

  • Klas

    Why didnt yoda teach Luke how to block lightning?

    • George Superman

      It was the Will of the Force that he didnt

    • Onlynowattheenddoyouunderstand

      Apparently you just needed a light saber to hold up and it would suck in all the lightning. But Luke was an idiot and turned his off then threw it at the Emperor. He paid the price for his lack of vision!

  • http://www.facebook.com/paul.howard.56614 Paul Howard

    he he he yeah

  • *Super~Sayian*

    Dude I watched ALL three of your videos about starwars prequels and why they FAIL, and quite honestly most of what is here is what I see in my favorite manga called naruto, and it’s ruined the EXACT same way as starwars and go figure.. the guy who made naruto just so happens to be a fan of the star wars prequels… sigh.. I’m going to have to make a video on youtube about that lol. anyways excellent video RLM.

  • Guest

    I don’t think an edit could fix this.

    For starters, why did they put #$&ing C3PO in the body of a young Obi Wan?

    I mean, what the fuck? I thought Obi Wan would be the idealistic dashing hero who learns wisdom, learns his limitations while staying true to his convictions through the trilogy. If there’s one thing Lucas needed to do, it was to make Obi Wan COOL. The OLD Obi Wan wasn’t some obstreperous coma-inducing bore with a stick up his ass, so why young Obi Wan? I thought he’d be more like Daniel Day Lewis’s character in Last of the Mohicans, maybe D’Artagnan or Aragorn from their respective books.

    If only Lucas wrote from the characters instead of “gotta make stuff happen,”

    Make Anakin a bit younger than Obi Wan but not a child. Obi Wan could be good, dashing, maybe a bit overeager to do good and getting himself into trouble but not ambitious per se – maybe he’s a really good student but viewed as a little bit too independent and unpredictable. Maybe he bugs the more-established jedi because he doesn’t even rebel per se just does what he thinks is right regardless of what they think. Maybe he doesn’t care too much about pride of place, might not even care if he was kicked out of the Jedi order if it came to that and there was something he thought needed doing… you could have some scene with Yoda in which Yoda, in an approving unconcerned manner, says the Jedi would have kicked you out years ago for your headstrong ways except we can sense your good heart. (maybe implying they’re a little dumb about the whole thing)

    …Anakin is discovered by Gin and is found to be off the charts. Gin is overwhelmed by his sheer strength in the force. Maybe you could show Anakin had kind of a hard life, orphaned perhaps. You could start him off as a slave on tatooni, that works. But let him be closer to Obi Wan’s age. Gin gets distracted from teaching Obi Wan due to the unprecedented level of Anakin’s power so there can be tension there as Obi Wan deals with sharing his tutelage with Anakin who is getting a late start in the Jedi arts. But you could have Obi Wan ending up half-teasing him half training him – you could show Obi Wan relenting and being insightful and effective with his help of Anakin. You could show Anakin being half infuriated half eternally grateful – maybe having enough power means a lot to a mistreated former slave who never had enough of it to fend off his tormentors but maybe he’s also motivated by gratitude and the desire to measure up.

    That could set the stage for the tension and friendship between the characters. Obi Wan is more of an older brother who often ends up unwittingly in competition and has the gall to not even notice he’s showing up Anakin. Obviously he bests Anankin at everything early on but seems to be the one who can help him most with breakthroughs in his training. As Anakin grows in skill and starts to think he’ll be Obi Wan’s equal, he finds he still isn’t. It’s Anakin’s massive power/brawn against Obi Wan’s skill and subtlety. Obi Wan’s insight into the force is truer and simply more GOOD, more in tune with what Old Obi Wan tells us in ep 4. While Anakin thinks of it as a skill or a tool. Obi Wan tries to communicate to Anakin what he’s missing but it’s the one lesson he can’t seem to grasp. Maybe there’s a few subtle scenes where Obi Wan shows him some elegant Haiku or old Arabian poetry or some zen flower arrangement or asks him to watch a storm come in with him – some beautiful nature kinda thing… something like that and Anakin tries but says he’ll never get good enough if he wastes his time on that instead of training. Sort an opposite moment to that moment where Connery teaches McCloud about The Quickening and he has that experience with the deer in Highlander. You could give them both a sense of humor making Obi Wan flip and witty – or even let him be the more serious character that just fiercely believes beauty is important, love is important and Anakin more sardonic, more gallows humor – which fits his previous life as a slave and the “heaviness” of the Darth Vader character later.

    From there the character arc and plot get easier. Anakin pursues his “brawn” approach to the force but isn’t totally satisfied with the results although occasionally blowing his fellow Jedi away with the things he can do. He senses he has more power and can’t figure out how to unlock it. His frustration with not being able to beat/equal Obi Wan at sparring or anything else galls him while there is increased pressure on him to measure up during a totally reimagined clone wars – a lot of people are looking at him as the “go-to” guy which just stresses him out more while Obi Wan says “hey no pressure” which only infuriates him more. Obi Wan saves his ass a few times but he saves Obi Wan’s ass a few times as well, maybe there is some emotional involvement with a secondary character, some other thing that happens where Anakin has the opportunity to be there for Obi Wan, offer him encouragement or sympathy and maybe you get to see him weigh the value of that experience vs his goal of unlocking this additional power he thinks he is having problems accessing…

    …at which point something lets him meet the Emperor – or maybe he SEEKS OUT the emperor as someone he’s heard of. And what he learns is that the dark side DOES unlock his brute strength approach. The Emperor teaches him to concentrate on how he felt growing up orphaned and a slave, powerless and wanting more power – or perhaps more subtly, wishing he could exchange roles, put his abuser in the victim role and himself as the abuser. Maybe he manages, with his newfound power, to help out considerably in the Clone Wars and win the day. Instead of those wars leading directly to the fall of the empire, they are an emergency where Anakin, in a sense, ruins himself as a Jedi while saving the day by using the Dark Side in service of Good. Maybe he’s happy to finally see Obi Wan surprised at him and his increased powers that came apparently from nowhere.

    You have to explain why does Anakin bow to the Emperor? It makes no sense in the prequels and makes no sense unless you connect it to his character. So maybe the Emperor says something about “Bow to me and you need fear no one else. Bow to me and you will bow to NO other. Bow to me and I will teach you everything. Worlds beyond worlds of power and no one to fear, no one to challenge you, no one to control you ever again.”

    If this is done WHILE his increased help is needed by his friends it makes for a compelling SEDUCTION by the dark side. His longing to Be The BIG HERO At Just The Right Moment above all else unlike Obi Wan who just wants to do the right thing tips the scales. Maybe there’s some feeling from earlier like the jedis limited his actions, constrained him, but he doesn’t feel free to do what he wants like Obi Wan – he feels like if he lost his place with the Jedi he’d lose everything yet resents their constraints. Maybe he’s tried hard to be a respectable jedi and has been moving up the ranks, maybe he knows he’s better than them (except Obi Wan who he has never beaten) and as a result feels it is absurd he should have to do what they say sometimes. And you could have some event in which he is beaten, he feels like he’s right back where he started as a slave being dominated by someone stronger… and Obi Wan saves him, leaving Anakin saying to himself that he simply does not have enough power yet. You could have an interesting dynamic in which Anakin is eventually the more “important” jedi because he plays by the rules while Obi Wan is lower in the ranks because he keeps getting demoted for doing his own thing before being promoted again for doing something good or useful, so Obi Wan ends up vacillating around the rankings and is thought of as a loose cannon but not really moving up like Anakin which Anakin is pleased by until he encounters a moment of weakness where he needs saving and realizes Obi Wan is still the better more powerful jedi, that power is what really matters at the end of the day, not the approval of the puritan Jedi.

    You could have scenes where people make reference to how things used to be, how things are breaking down or how they are more corrupt than before to give an atmosphere of decadence to the Republic- make that 1,000 years or 1,000 generations count as the Republic getting long in the tooth, not what it used to be. Then you could have Yoda talking about the current Jedi knights – maybe they refer to Yoda as a Jedi Master and send all their guys to train with him, make reference to him in their councils (what would Yoda say?) send people to his planet for advice, which he gives the best answers HE can think of which is zen/stoic wisdom applicable to the situation but which they can’t quite figure out how to apply… while he has never officially joined their order and is bemused by their focus of respect on him. He willingly trains people sent to him and trains every Jedi but uses NO LIGHTSABER. Maybe he could refer to the Jedi as compensating for the Republic’s corruption by becoming to officious, too stultified, formal, even bureaucratic. He could make out that Obi Wan gets it because he simply does what he knows is right – some line about “oh those jedi knights on coruscant have good intentions but they’re too distracted to realize maintaining good intentions is the whole point. A few hundred years ago all the Jedi were like you” Maybe he makes a big deal out of that – that your decisions have to come from a good place and everything follows from that even if in the end you fail – that it isn’t so much about winning per se or the paradox that you can’t win if you focus on winning because you become what you’re fighting against, that kind of thing.

    …and then maybe it is Anakin near the very end who saves Luke and Leia with Obi Wan’s help – or saves Obi Wan even, telling him this is the last thing I will do for you, I made a deal with the emperor, next time I see you I’ll do my best to kill you – but that one last time he couldn’t let his friend die and it’s a secret he keeps from the Emperor… that he saved Obi Wan, the existence of Luke and Leia, perhaps even Obi Wan’s location is known to him, explaining how he knows he is Luke’s father… but in any case, some scene in which Anakin does Obi Wan a HUGE solid, perhaps already in the Vader suit, and keeps that one secret from the Emperor, but saying fatalistically he thinks it is the last good thing he can do. Make the fall of the Republic a BACKDROP, the historical events that they’re living through with the occasional thing they can do to contribute.. by the time Vader tells him it is the last good thing he thinks he’ll ever do, the Republic has fallen. Obi Wan simply does not have the power or ability to stop an entire space Empire from forming. Obi Wan’s character arc leads him to a place where, with Yoda’s help, he gains wisdom and knowledge of his limitations, that no matter how heroic, there are some things you cannot do, cannot control, so you get the dual character arc of a character who essentially cannot be tempted because he’s learned his limitations and a character who seeks an end to limitations. And in the end both Obi Wan and Anakin discover that all that’s left that they can control is one relatively small thing, They can save Luke and Leia. Then Obi Wan patiently goes to Tatooni where he will watch and guard Luke from afar while Anakin, finally freed from anyone’s moral restraint as well as Obi Wan’s galling superiority, gets his reward from the Emperor, the unlocking of additional power, a position of power in the empire, etc.

    In just designing all the scenes to play this stuff out, I think you could have more than enough cool CGI scenes to play with if you wanted.

    • jubalbiggs

      That was actually pretty enjoyable to read. A good bit more than the prequel movies.

  • Palpatine

    Stop asking perfectly logical questions!

  • JuicieJ

    This is the best of the prequels, but… that’s not saying much.

  • appreciative

    Great job bro, I just saw all three of your critiques and they were all spot on! I didn’t like any of the prequels but I didn’t know specifically why. The prequels are indeed terrible and you point out their flaws in an informative and humorous way. Thank you so much for you effort, they were most enjoyable.

  • D-Man

    Wow, I never knew that when Vader’s helmet lowers onto his head in Empire, he was in his “breathing room”, in a “vulnerable state”. I always assumed he was in his office. The officer was the one in the vulnerable position for bothering Vader. Didn’t think he was lower to the floor either, thought it was just the angle of the camera. Craziness! I also thought the Death Star in Return was the same one from the first movie >.> what can you do. Great review and very entertaining!

    • Citizen Cane

      As regards the “pod” scene. Truly, my young apprentice, that is why the reviewer points it out to the audience. We are pointedly aware of the trepidation felt by the officer informing Vader of the current situation re the Falcon. We are shown over and over in the original films that to the Empire individuals matter not. One wrong move as an officer and you are history! There is another officer probably not any more incompetent than you that may assume your post, and perhaps with your failure and subsequent death fresh in his mind he will perform better or more diligently.

      We are so aware of and focused upon this aspect, that we don’t even see the weakness and vulnerability we are shown. But this is the first time we see Vader in the flesh, if only briefly, all scarred and disfigured. We understand subliminally–without even realising it–that Vader may remove his suit in this controlled environment. That this is a limitation forced upon him by whatever fate had befallen him in the past (we suspect, from the films only, that it may have been a fight with Obiwan perhaps, but we have no way of knowing this, from the films alone.) In any case, this is why our dear Mr. Plinkett uses his “You may not have noticed it, but your brain did.” meme. There is in fact nothing wrong with your perception, as all of us–unless we have some skill at film./story analysis–are meant to see the obvious, but on some level, infer the subliminal, or more subtly articulated message.

      This is why the scene is so brilliant, and why those who worked on the first films, including the young Lucas himself created such a memorable experience for us all. In later years, it is as though Lucas has forgotten the language of cinema. Even in Return of the Jedi, wherein he introduced the “Ewoks” he was able to use the visual to convey emotion, as in the final battle to take over the generating station. Happy at first, when the surprise attack is working and the rebels are winning. Tragic later, when the Imperial forces are beginning to overwhelm the rebels and their primitive allies, whose clever means of combat are losing their effectiveness. There is, once again as it pointed out in these reviews, no dialogue to convey this. It is all done visually.

      Somewhere along the line, George Lucas lost his edge. Sometimes success can do that. Perhaps it is because, to some degree, Lucas is no longer a lean tall healthy young man. It takes work and dedication when one is wealthy, to avoid the caviare and pate de foie gras when necessary, and stay in shape well into ones advancing years. Believe me; I know!! (although sadly not about the wealthy part of it!) And it is difficult to run all over a set when one is in the state of health in which Lucas more recently found himself

  • NQ

    I actually enjoyed Episode 3, but I liked some of the points you made against it. I just wished you had made a long segment against Prometheus in the same fashion as Episode 3, as that film was filled with just as much nonsense!

  • He Cant Say That

    The similarities between George Lucas and Palpatine are disturbing.

    Did he look at himself when writing that guy?

    When you think about it, we have two characters treating everyone around them with contempt, abusing trust and affection to further their own quest for power and wealth.

    George Lucas is so ignorant he has no idea we have worked him out. So ignorant is he, that when asked for his opinion on why we hate the prequels so much, he laughs at us and says we’re wrong.

    That’s why he wrote the Palpatine quest for power plot so clumsily. Everyone around that character should have been able to see what was happening, that the dude was manipulating and scheming his way to absolute power. However, inexplicably, they are all oblivious to the reality of the situation and allow the con to continue, unopposed.

    George Lucas has been doing the very same things for years within Hollywood. Treating execs and colleagues like pawns to further his power. Treating the audience with contempt and almost mocking our passion for the OT by taking everything that was good about it and shoving it up our asses.

    What he doesn’t seem able to accept, is that we know what he’s doing. It’s as if he is blind to this truth and genuinely believes it’s not happening. It’s like he has his eyes shut and his fingers in his ears. The dude’s voluntarily ignorant.

    It’s why his characters in Star Wars don’t know what’s going on. Lucas thinks that’s how stupid people really are. He has contempt for everyone and everything, even his own creations.

    A few billion in his bank account, for very little in the way of quality creative output, has given him this false notion.

    That god the world has been able to grab this once beautiful thing from his dying grip, before he made it even more ugly.

  • Mr Bugaw

    Question for you: Did reading the extra materials make the prequals suck less?

    • Hiero

      The extra materials and hell, even the novelisations of the prequel movies are considerably better than the actual movies. Pretend the movies don’t exist, and that the entire prequel exist only through the cartoon, novels and comics, and I think you can appreciate the lore that George Lucas catalysed (but not necessarily shaped himself)

      • tripleace

        Iv been constantly reading so many bad opinions about the prequels. I personally dont get whats so bad about them. anakin played a freaking good role, the script wasnt all that bad like people say, i mean cmon.

        his transformation was dead on and accurate and made complete sense to why he turned.

        can you please explain to me what is it thats so bad about the prequels except jar jar binks :)

        • big

          did you not watch the review?

          • tripleace

            mmm as a matter of fact I didnt, but once i read you post I actually did. I didnt know there was a review here, I just came on to see what people thought and to give my opinion.

            but I must say after watching the first two movie reviews from that dude, lol, I can see why the movies are so bad now. I mean this guy’s reviews are gold lol. I thought of some of the stuff before watching the reviews. But overall, not everything he says is really valid, some is really just his view point but overall he makes very very good points and demonstrates are stupid the movies really are.

            I really do see it now :) thanks

        • http://www.facebook.com/zck2020 Zane Knight

          Uhh…did you watch the review videos, bro?

  • http://twitter.com/psycho_pigeon bobby kirsch

    LOL

  • http://twitter.com/MFalz01 Marvin Falz

    Watching RotS Review for the umpteenth time – still loving EVERY minute.

  • CynicalNut

    Is the irony of a Droid commercial before the review amiss on everyone but me?

  • Joey Shabbadoo

    Anyone know what movie theme is playing during the “Citizen Vader” segment? It’s familiar but I can’t figure it out.

    • ricky joya

      I would love to know as well.

  • George Superman

    how could clones have intelligence units? As in: spies? The ALL LOOK THE SAME!!!
    how could the separatists not see that a person who looks EXACLY like 10000392039203922309 people killing their robots and is asking questions about the movement of their general is a spy ????

    Did the Force tell them where Grevious is too?? Does the Force has like a live chat on some internet site ? Or a site with FAQ subpage with content like ‘where is the general of opposing army’ etc. ?

    Also: why did anakin and padme marry? I know George said it was a will of the Force but how did it manifest that will? Did padme get an email like ‘sorry lady but you gotta marry that whiny neurotic facism-supporting mass murdeder for that is my Will’ signed by ‘the Force’ and she just went with it?

    Also – more importantly – if I create an email like theforce@lisentomenowyoudumblady.com and send an email to Natalie Portman saying that she has to marry me because I – the Force – say so and also for the rest of her life all she is allowed to wear are sexy black gloves and stockings will she lisen ?

    Those are important quetions that I feel need to be answered.

  • George Superman

    It was the Will of the Force that she dies I think. Theres a pill for that but some book explained that she couldnt afford to buy it because Palpatine cancelled Obamacare

  • Shinchy

    Hi, does anyone know the name of the song playing in the background of Part 3, from about 12:00 to 15:00? I’ve been dying to know what it is.

  • ass

    watch the actual reviews on this very website, idiot

  • Guest

    He’s butchering the new ones too.

    • Plinkett

      He’s butchering my caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

      • http://twitter.com/crey_zee Crey Zee

        the cat ain’t gona milk itself!

      • http://www.lukejones.me/ Luke Jones

        He called my Dad a dirty old bender!

      • Rick Berman

        YOUR BUTCHERING MY MOVIES!!!!!

        • Plinkett

          Fuck you Rick Berman… wait, you didn’t even work on Star Wars.

          • czar

            what is it with Ricks

      • diehounderdoggen

        He fucked my sister, and didn’t pay in exact change!

        • Cameron Vale

          Oh my god! You can talk?

  • http://twitter.com/DanielBurke1 daniel burke

    He’s butchering the old ones too!

  • Ana

    I think these reviews are brilliant but I don’t understand why some people feel the need to attack George Lucas personally for them, even acting as he was trying to fool them or something. Of course I don’t really know to say, but, he’s just a human being, is it that hard to believe he might have tried to make a great new set of movies and it didn’t work out? For several reasons not all his fault?

    • JW6

      That question is addressed in part 3 of this very review.

      • Ana

        I know, I’m talking more about what people comment, too much hate for the guy.

        • JW6

          Oh, I see. I don’t know that there is, though. I don’t personally hate the guy, but I was never a huge Star Wars fanatic. I can understand where the haters are coming from, though. If someone took something I loved and shat all over it for the sake of money, I think I’d be pretty pissed. I suppose it comes down to whether one believes Lucas understands his limitations as a writer and director. If he does, and didn’t care enough about the movies to turn them over to more competent professionals, then he deserves negative feelings from real fans. If he doesn’t, and truly thought he was making good movies, than he doesn’t deserve the hate, but that would mean he doesn’t know the difference between a good movie and a bad one. Either way, like Mike says, “Lucas didn’t ruin my childhood, he disappointed my adulthood.”

  • YouGaveMeTheUgly

    Apples Like Chickens and Beef is Smothered in Cranberries with Turkies

  • Schmavid

    You put up great arguments for how CGI is over used. It would have been great if you had commented on how the explosion of the hospital in The Dark Knight was completely real. One shot at doing it and Heath Ledger didn’t look back at all, stayed completely in character and did what he day to do. I mean wow, thats brilliant. If you want to compare film makers compare Lucas to Nolan for how something should be done.

  • jo3

    “General I’ve got a bone to pick” I fell off my chair

  • cisme

    I feel surprised that he never mentioned the colours used in the original and prequel trilogy. At first it was Blue (light) vs Red (evil) yet in the third we see Luke use Green as a sort of intermediary showing how he was being converted to the dark side and was in between. The prequel really ruined this cool metaphor for me by making blue and green sabers standard colours of the Jedi

  • dennett316

    It’s a movie…it’s supposed to tell the story on it’s own. If a movie requires the viewer to then read book after book of extended universe nonsense in order to get something approaching a halfway decent story…then the movie failed, big time.

    Also, while the framework of this review was comedic, there was a level of in-depth analysis here that so-called “real” critics like Ebert never even come close to approaching. You could not be more wrong.

    As for the “it has a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes” defence….a lot of those so-called positive reviews are laced with back-handed compliments such as “the best of a bad bunch”. The film sucks. It’s the most watchable of the three, but that in no way makes it good. Try having your own opinion rather than pointing to other people saying it’s good.

  • dennett316

    I did…and there’s significantly more entertainment here than there is in the original movie.

  • Tom

    does anyone know what the music is as the credits roll..? Checked every single remix of Biggie’s The What I could see on youtube and I can’t find it anywhere!

    • AD

      It’s called “I Squeeze Gats”

  • cale

    i mean it had to be about darth vader. The prequels were about the rise of darth vader, and the fall of the jedi… JS

    • Tear this ship apart

      But there was no rise of Darth Vader. He was just some lower ranked minion in Episode 4. Tarkin was the highest ranked officer on the Death Star, so who knows how many other people outranked him as well. He rose so far in those 20 years, eh?

  • http://www.facebook.com/jimmy.dee.7967 Jimmy Dee

    I like how “filmmaker” under George Lukas’ name is in quotes. Seems appropreate.

  • JW6

    This is a minor point, but why did it take 20 years to build the first Death Star, and the second one was built between Star Wars and Return of the Jedi? I realize the second one wasn’t complete, but it was “fully operational”. Were they building the two at the same time? Add this to stuff that doesn’t make sense, I guess.

    • Palpatine’s behind it all

      They hired the same construction crew, and they had more experience the second time?

      • http://www.facebook.com/geahk Geahk Burchill

        I once talked to a guy in a lumber yard parking lot. He had a license plate that read “90days” I asked him about it. He said, “That’s how long it takes us to build a house” Which surprised me because I was doing high-end Kitchen remodel at the time and that was how long it took me just to do a kitchen.

        Point is, once a construction crew gets a rhythm going, they can churn out duplicates when the original takes a ton of time.

  • Robert

    You guys keep me alive. Seriously, I’d probably take my own life if it wasn’t for these reviews. Thanks a bunch.

  • Ryan

    The Millennium Falcon is actually in Episode III for a few seconds.

    • Stupid Kid Han Solo

      But it wasn’t flying around doing something stupid. It could have been any random Corellian transport.

  • Sean

    Order 66 was a reference to Executive Order 9066 which put the Japanese Americans into the internment camps. I love the reviews though :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/troy.wullbrandt Troy Wullbrandt

    As Mr. Plinkett kind of hinted at in his review, Lucas had the right idea in regards to how Anakin would have been turned to the darkside. But still, Lucas was pretty far off. I personally would have borrowed a few ideas from the book of Job (in the Bible) or even the Batman graphic novel called “The Killing Joke.”

    Padme would have given birth near the beginning or even before the start of the film. Anakin would then have the stress of trying to protect his entire family. But Padme is then captured by A) A sith or B) General Grievous. They would be trying to prove both to the galaxy and to themselves that if you push a person far enough, they will become break (just like what the Devil tried to do in the book of Job, and what the Joker tried to do in The Killing Joke). So the sith/Grievous kills Padme in an attempt to break Anakin. Unable to stop the death of his mother or wife, he vows to protect his children by killing his wife’s murderer. The other Jedi sense that has made this vendetta both out of fear and hatred and continually try to stop him. While killing his wife’s murderer would have an impact on the war, they sense that Anakin would loose himself in anger, hatred, and fear if HE was the one to do this. These traits would give in to a lust for power and soon paranoia, as he thinks that everyone is plotting against him. In spite of Obi-Wan’s love for his friend, he also asks Anakin to stay out of the mission to kill the the killer.

    The Jedi send about 12 Knights to the planet where the killer is. But while meditating in his house, Anakin has a vision of the Jedi failing and the killer getting away. So he sneaks away to the planet where, sure enough, the the Jedi were no match for the killer.

    Anakin uses all of his lightsaber skills and his knowledge of the force to fight him, but finds himself out matched. As he hides in the environment (similarly to Return Of The Jedi) the killer mocks him and joyfully talks about he will tear down everything that he loves. He even describes how he will murder his children and asks,” Don’t you fear what happens next? Aren’t you afraid of how much you have to lose?”

    But, as opposed to what Luke did in ROJ, Anakin’s retaliation is slow, quiet, and creepy. Something seems to have snapped within him. He steps out of the shadows with a faint smile on his face, almost at peace with the fact that he has given into these deadly emotions. “Yes I am afraid. You should be too.” The killer throws everything he has at him, but Anakin easily counters it all. Anakin then has the killer on his heels, fearing for his life, before Anakin finally kills him. Anakin has now tasted the power of the darkside. And for the sake of his children, he feels, he must learn more about it.

    And thus the transformation takes hold. He slowly goes from Hero to Anti-hero to Villain, all blissfully unaware of the fact that he has done anything wrong.

  • Pete

    Am I the the one who find it totally ironic that George Lucas’ backstory would make a better script for a Star Wars Prequel than what he wrote as the backstory for Darth Vader? How great would it have been to see Anikin and Palpatine get corrupted by greed!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ashford-Wyrd/100000108593257 Ashford Wyrd

      You forgot American Graffiti

  • Blutszauger

    Seriously, was that Ian McDiarmid in your video? ‘Cause it sounded JUST like him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/elanor.sloane Elanor Sloane

    These reviews are outstanding. I have re-watched them so many times now I could probably quote them verbatim. Hands down my favourite movie reviews. The combination of legitimate criticisms of technique, script, pacing, tone (and well, everything else) and the quirky offbeat humour is fantastic. Possibly however, the most masterful aspect of these reviews is their ability to make people think about why they felt no connection to events and characters, instead of just complaining that they didn’t like them.

    As someone who has very little knowledge and comparatively little interest in film these reviews where a real eye opener. They made me look at film in a new way and appreciate the subtleties and importance of symbolism, camera angles pacing etc on the way in which a film is interpreted and how it affects the viewer.

    These reviews connect with the audience in a way that the prequels can only dream of. Please keep it up.

    • http://www.facebook.com/geahk Geahk Burchill

      You may not have noticed….But yer brain did.

    • http://twitter.com/PeltFrelken Pelt Frelken

      well said.

  • pei20

    Wait a second… How could the emperor have contacted the general if he was strapped to the chair with the lazer chains. I’m so confused…

  • pie20

    I meant General “Grevious”

  • http://www.facebook.com/elmo.tichelaar Elmo Tichelaar

    Hmm. . . Anakin does not go back to save his mother when he can. Even though she’s a slave. And he wants to save her. Because she’s a slave. Maybe if only Anakin was a slave . . . then suddenly there’s motivation for Shmi to get him out of there, besides it being run by gangsters. And then there’s less reason for Anakin to go back to her, as he’s busy and she’s set up neatly. So he has these visions and he goes back, finding her dead. And he starts doubting the effectiveness of the Jedi order. Oh shit man, you can fix these prequels without even realizing it! Lucas you hack!

  • Marvin Falz

    Obi-Wan: “Vader was seduced by the dark side of the Force” Plinkett: “I just said thaaaat” – Funny that Plinkett talks back to his review as if Obi-Wan had popped up out of nowhere on his own will to substantiate Plinkett’s point on Anakin’s initial situation before his downfall but Plinkett doesn’t deem a substantiation to be necessary and doesn’t want to be interrupted. Plinkett gets confused when he forgets to take his medicine. I get confused on the downfall issue. What if Anakin was meant for an upfall? What would George Lucas have done when Anakin had fallen up?

  • Jonny

    Whats wrong with your faaaaacccccceeeee?

  • Dhan

    For the prequels,Lucas wanted to take the franchise to a different direction.I admit he doesn’t have the skills to direct a movie and you are pointing out his mistakes but the prequels were not as awful as it seems.

    The reason why Obi Wan was so boring in these movies is because Ewan Mcgregor was just immitating Alex Guinness.We needed a young Obi Wan,not a younger version of the old Obi wan.Ewan should have portrayed this character using his own acting qualities,not just trying to be Alec Guinness.

    • Kevin Catlin

      Don’t blame Ewan Mcgregor for how he portrays Obi Wan. An actor is only as good as the direction he’s given.

  • JJtoob

    LOL I’m so stupid, I just realized he said “starving African children in Cambodia”. He always gets me in the history or geography jokes. Gotta pay attention.

  • AnimationWorksNL

    All the prequel reviews are great, but this is the best one for sure. The comparison with Citizen Kane is really inspired and probably not far from the truth of Lucas’ intentions. It also helps to understand the difference in the quality of directing, staging and editing between the two movies. I don’t mean to say I think Sith was completely Tshi. I didn’t hate it, the only one I hate is Clones. But Sith certainly has too many flaws, and this review shows them painfully well.

    One thing I missed, and it’s just a detail, is that really weird shot of Obi-Wan hiding in what looks like the toilet on Padme’s ship when she’s going to Mustafar. You know, with that silly Force-move to close the door? Which made me laugh out loud and wonder, did Obi Wan use the Force to wipe and flush afterwards too?

    • Marvin Falz

      “Which made me laugh out loud and wonder, did Obi Wan use the Force to wipe and flush afterwards too”
      Haha, this image makes me laugh out loud too. I guess this scene is meant to foreshadow Anakin’s end: he’ll be Force-flushed by Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan has the ability to flush a toilet with the Force and Anakin is the toilet.

      • AnimationWorksNL

        Force jokes. I love ‘em!

  • zero_miles_per_hour

    Star Wars Episode 3 is the most disappointing thing since my cock.

  • Ecky

    Can anyone tell me what the music is from about 14:10 in Part 1 I love it.

    The review is excellent, by the way. Obviously.

  • StarWars Jesus

    If you like this review you will really like this video;
    http://youtu.be/oxr1af8qq1o

  • Hearts Alive

    Is that Sultans of Swing playing in the background? That is awesome!

  • http://www.facebook.com/bahareh.khosravi.5 Bahareh Khosravi

    the impotence of Darth Vader huh? you sly minx hairy ass plinkett

  • Jar Jar Binks

    prequels are way better than the original 3

    • A Normal Person

      Troll

  • Justsomerandomguyyoudontknow

    Did somebody send these to JJ Abrams?

    • http://twitter.com/PeltFrelken Pelt Frelken

      VERY good question.

      • TapewormBike

        Lindelof watches RLM stuff, but maybe they both got butthurt after the Into Darkness review.

  • http://www.myspace.com/spartakus_x Spartakus_X

    Why did R2-D2 no longer have jet stumps in the movies that took place in an even more technologically advanced time?

    • Or C3PO either

      That was like 20 years later. No one maintained his rusty ass.

      • D-Mna

        Yes, because a quality film requires you to make excuses for it.

        Shove off, troll.

  • thatmovieguy

    storm troopers arnt clones.

  • Derpo

    I had always just kinda assumed that Anakin’s transformation into Vader was a gradual change, not so immediate. Or stupid.
    This is just a summary of my theory:
    Jedi Knights always seemed just that to me: knights. Obi Wan says they’re the “guardians of peace and justice.” Although they were a little more spiritual, I never got the feeling they were these weird, emotionless space-monks. (Also, since they still used swords, I figured blasters at the time of the Clone Wars were probably a relatively new invention or something).
    Anyway, so it would make sense to me that Sith are really just ex-Jedi. When Palpatine created the Empire and talked about making sacrifices and stuff, the Jedi that followed him probably did so because they felt they were still following their code. And in order to differentiate themselves from the other Jedi that were still loyal to the Republic, they either gave themselves a different name or maybe Palpatine did it. Either way, there’s no reason why Anakin couldn’t have just been one of these Jedi. War can certainly change someone, he could’ve became cynical over time, and then flat-out evil by deciding to serve the Empire. Whether it was for his own selfish reasons or because he felt he was upholding the Jedi code. Either way, it doesn’t have to be super complicated. Not tooting my own horn here, but that’s a good example of a smaller part of a larger story, leaving plenty of room for creativity. It’s almost like you have to actually try to fuck something up like this.

  • SH1N1GAM1

    This is kind of random, but if you type “whocaresyoustupiddipshitasshole.net” into google, it says, “Oops! Google Chrome could not find http. Did you mean: cbs.com/primetime//two_and_a_half_men”

    I am not joking. Try it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/geahk Geahk Burchill

      Totally unrelated. I just noticed your screen name and wanted to say Lawliet knows about the book.

    • Jeffrey Heesch

      That’s the most amazing thing I’ve seen so far this week.

  • Drew

    The idea I got from the original trilogy about the clone wars and how Darth Vader became Vader completely different. They should have never made the first 3. Lukas should have just just done a story from 1,000 in the past.

  • Transhumanism

    What ist the song at 12:38?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1106672670 Octavio Mingura

    Not that its necessary to be said, but the millennium did make a cameo in ROTS

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lmoxwq5uvLk

    • Gary Kurtz

      That could be any YT-1300 light freighter, and don’t tell me it’s explained as the falcon in the novelization or some Star Wars book. WHAT MATTERS IS THE MOVIE

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1106672670 Octavio Mingura

        Well, I took that as a little easter egg for us casual fans. No need to have a stick up your ass about it.

  • franky

    i really love your videos, but i’d think that someone with such a keen eye for movie tropes and filmmaking techniques would’ve observed that films typically don’t have music playing the ENTIRE time in the background…the viewer can get really bored and distracted by the ever pervasive royalty free music playing in the background of your videos…maybe use it sparingly in the future…

  • spicollidriver

    the funny thing is: Jar Jar Binks isn’t even that bad.

    if you would have put Jar Jar into The Empire striks back I am pretty sure it would still be a great movie. after all, the Ewoks didn’t ruin Return of the Jedi (well, at least not for me).

    if Jar Jar would have been only of very few flaws about the new trilogy he would easily get a pass.

    • Cameron Vale

      The really funny thing is: if you put Jar Jar into The Empire Strikes Back, he would seem horribly out of place. The fact that he doesn’t seem so out of place in the prequels indicates that their problems run much deeper.

  • derp

    funny how much of this movie is plot convenience and plotholes

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ashford-Wyrd/100000108593257 Ashford Wyrd

    Not even a mention of how Padme’s death before it was even possible for Leah to have seen her clearly, much less developed any memories contradicts what Leah told Luke about her mother.

    • Slimee

      I may be reaching for straws here, but perhaps Leah is unaware of her true mother, and is simply referring to her adopted mother, not knowing she was adopted. just a shot in the dark on that one

      • Rainer Bieber

        Leah is force sensitive and was eventually appointed as a jedi master along with Luke. This being true, it is quite possible for her to have a memory of her birth

        • TapewormBike

          Then she sould have mentioned in the original trilogy how she has memories of her mothers torn vagina and being slapped on the ass by the delivery bot or something. I guess George omitted this, being genius and all.

      • Felix Schneider

        If someone asks you “Do you remember your REAL mother?” wouldn’t any one, how doesn’t know he’s adopted, ask what you mean by “real”? Leia, never even hesitated upon the word “real”, so she obviously knows what Luke is refering to.

    • D-Man

      Huh, never noticed that before.

      Another nail in the coffin that is the Star Wars prequels.

  • DarthGovant .

    When will people stop the crying over the prequels. Seriously, just take them for what they are…Star Wars. All Episodes (1-6) make up the mythology that we all love and hold dear. Everyone seems to think they can do better than Lucas…well if that is the case, why don’t you go direct a move/write a movie series and see what type of reviews you get.

    The whole complaint that the PT is not like the OT is getting old and is entirely ignorant. Of course they are supposed to be different! It is a different time (time of Republic vs time of Rebellion). I am quite sure that if the PT was the same as the OT then we would be hearing just as much or more complaints.

    One more thing…Anakin’s fall to the darkside is not meant to make sense. He was “seduced” as Obi Wan states in Episode 4. Another word that could have been used is “deceived” When you are being deceived or seduced, the path to that deception/seduction does not make any logical sense, hence why you are being deceived/seduced in the first place….

    • Paul Worthin

      I think the objective is to show the limitations of the screenwriting and plotting of the films. “deceived is not logically equivalent to “seduced.” One verb s active and the other is active.

    • Chuckles

      u mad bro?

    • Jeffrey Heesch

      Does anybody else see the irony in a person ranting because someone else ranted? Criticizing a person for being critical?

    • D-Man

      Wrong.

    • Beaverbrook

      You really need to watch the first critique of Episode I. He interviews people and asks them to describe the characters from the different movies. NOBODY can describe the main characters from the prequels, because, well, they don’t have “character”. They are just names and faces blurting out lines in a wooden monotone fashion. The Star Wars movies however, those characters are easily described.

  • A Normal Person

    Haha the idiot below me in the comments thinks he knows a thing or two about writing or story telling. Just another blinded fool who can’t see he was tricked into liking a bunch of B.S. Saying the prequels needed to be made or told is like saying Kim Kardashian is a well rounded respectable woman who dedicated her life to the prosperity of the world. Grown-Up these movies sucked and stop saying shit in Jorge Lucas’s defense like why don’t you go direct a movie like yourself because I would I just didn’t grow up having everything handed to me where I could just go away to film school all expenses paid (which are huge) and then have connections to develop my own motion picture. For all of you that say he struggled ha, you don’t know shit about a struggle and should look it up in a dictionary because if any other race in his time was to try what he did they would have been slapped in the face. This guy did not have it as hard as he made it out to seem. Sure he sent some drafts into studios and he got rejected but he did not wait ten years to make the movie once he had the whole thing mapped out to the studio. How naive can you be to think he did this for something other than money, what are you 10? In that case go enjoy your pointless action filled light saber duels. Me I prefer the “olden days” where it was about the money but also about connecting to the audience not this B.S. we see everywhere now of fake ass environments, cheap phony dialog, and characters who “try” and relate to as many people as possible. More importantly your theory on why the movies should not make sense is so incomprehensible. The movies should not make sense because he was seduced? What are you a junior Anime writer? The movie should make sense regardless that’s a cheap ass excuse for being lazy ,that like something some lazy kid says in high school to try and make sense of the paper he just wrote in the class before it was due. I am truly glad Plinkett made these reviews so that I can see that there are still intelligent, thinking people left on this planet, but unfortunately I have to see these morons who think these new movies without any depth to them really at all are the new “IT” and that we should all bow down to the factories that create them.

  • G. Jardoness

    The review of all three of the prequel trilogy are incredible. My own disillusionment with “Star Wars” began with “Return of the Jedi”. Having seen the original at 13, and been teased by the build-up of “Empire Strikes Back”, with the rise of Vader and the conflict of Leia, between Luke and Han, I was a bit horrified to learn that Vader was really just a misunderstood guy going through a mid-life crisis, that Luke and Leia were really brother and sister, and have the entire thing conclude in a slap-stick battle with teddy-bears… I think ‘Mr. Plinkett’ was absolutely right, in that, from the opening scenes of “The Phantom Menace”, the tone and direction were set. And those first steps inevitably lead to what transpired in the entire trilogy, further and further in the wrong directions… In the original story framework, C3PO and R2D2 were said to be the common factor throughout, and the continuity of the story was said to be through their eyes. But the review put it best, there was no protagonist — and that’s only the beginning of the trilogy’s issues. To have ‘the force’ reduced to something venereal, and the wise sage of Yoda and the lore of being a Jedi reduced to a cross between an Animaniac and a blithering idiot… It was all passionless and lazy… But, George Lucas did precisely what he set out to do, and for that, I envy and applaud him.

  • Fuck

    The fact that they use lightning and choke everyone all the time is so stupid that I could never see George Lucas as an artist or a visionary. Vader choked a guy to get what he wanted, and choked another guy for making fun of him. It’s not like that’s all he could do. Same with the lightning. Why is that all that the force is now, lightning and choking lightning and choking? We can’t use the mental but the physical is fine. Lightning AND choking.

    • Manioc

      Because of video games. No, really; the Dark Forces / Jedi Knight games and the trading card games and comics and the rest of the dumb fucking expanded universe all codified the Force into a collection of discrete powers and battle statistics. Which makes sense for a video game because hey, that’s how they operate. So when George goes to PC gaming for his impossibly shallow well of inspiration for the prequels, we end up with Star Wars running on Pokemon logic.

  • Ian K

    Does anyone know what that concept art at 11:57 of part 1 was for? It looked pretty cool and badass and I don’t remember anything like it in the movie.

  • Kato

    I can’t stop watching this reviews!
    Send help!

  • Yezzir!

    Since all the characters from the first three films were apparently clusterfucking eachother in the prequels, it might have been easier to convince Han Solo to escort Obi and Luke off Tatooine if Obi-Wan had said to Chewbacca: “You’re from Kashyyyk aren’t you? Do you happen to know a little green guy named Yoda? Jedi Master, he went to your planet to save y’all from the droids?” Chewbacca could then say: “Oh yeah! Yoda! I gave him a piggyback ride once! Nice guy! Wait, you’re not Obi-Wan Kenobi are you? Oh hell, what a small fucking world! He used to talk about you all the time! Hey no charge on the transport buddies, come with us! So how’s Yoda been?”

    That would have made for a much easier negotiation.

  • Spwormin

    When it comes down to it, a five year old with a magic marker could write better prequels. If George wrote more then one draft and made interesting characters…

    For instance, I would have thought that Vader never knew about Luke (which he states). So, maybe on one of his missions during the clone wars, he screwed some local and left, thus allowing his children to be born without his knowledge.

    Now I understand the necessity to focus on Anikan, on the assumption that Vader was secretly the main character of the series, but make him a real character, like Luke, just smarter, slightly more experienced, better at flying, a Jedi. Simple stuff like that. You know, stuff that a stupid kid could write and comprehend.

    To support the above paragraph, I assumed that when Obi-Wan said, “your uncle was afraid you’d follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade, like your father did,” he meant that he was passing through Tatooine and stumbled across a older, mature enough to make the decision to leave his home and follow a strange man across the galaxy man. Then took Anikan with him to Dagobah to train with Yoda. Over the course of the Clone wars, Anikan would see the power lurking in the dark and seek it, seeking power the Jedi never offered him. Thus Seduced by the Dark Side. Obi-Wan would probably have seen this change, a subtle change in his apprentice but dismiss it.

    This is not what happened, by the way. Here, Obi-Wan had no notion of a change in Anikan because every single dark act commited by Anikan was out of view of Obi-Wan. This is why George had to cop out and use security recordings, because otherwise, Obi-Wan would be oblivious. Understandably so, as HE DID NOT SEE IT. He seemed pretty quick to be homicidal to Aniken after the fact. Just sayin’.

    • Marvin

      Strangely enough Padme never urges Anakin to seek professional help. That should have been the least to do for her, since her love for Anakin is so strong (<- I mean that in an ironic way) that she not only stays with a mass murderer but also forgets the fact that he's a mass murderer. She can't believe that Anakin turned to the dark side but has no problem marrying the guy. What a stupid woman.

      • Ashford Wyrd

        Have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome? It’s the same reason some people continue to defend the prequels.

        • Marvin Falz

          I hadn’t heard of Stockholm Syndrome before and I see what you mean, though Padme was never held hostage by Anakin. She listened to him confessing his killing spree and did not leave him. I don’t know, maybe she loves him so much no matter what, that even the prospect of being bound for a lifetime via marriage to an emotionally unstable, angsty and venting mass murderer with fascistic leanings, couldn’t make her go. It would have make more sense to me, if she was an opportunistic character, who would only marry him for his probable high rank in the political system and who would pretend love to get to her goals. But Padme is portrayed as kind of innocent, except that she wears sexy S&M outfits, and so she should be extremely turned off by his behavior or at least in an extreme inner conflict, that happens when you know a person you love long enough and your relationship is good and the inner connections are deep and you’re vulnerable and suddenly your partner takes a dark turn and does something so horrible that you’re like “Oh my G-d, what has he done?” and you’re trying to overlook the new situation, because of the nice past, but at the same can’t and it’s a back and forth inside your mind. In AotC Padme just stares at him when he confesses and is like “There, there” and about to say “It’s only natural” (okay, in my imagination) and then goes on with her life as if nothing had happened.

  • Tim

    Oh Plinkett, I bow down to your brilliance

  • YodaOnCrack

    I wanted to argue with some normal people but everyone else is duking it out over the Man of Steel HitB review. C’mon! Somebody bicker with me!:

    Yoda is only cool when he is a CGI algorithm.

    • Marvin Falz

      But you’re right! Plus, Yoda’s the most overrated “character” in both trilogies. Plinkett shouldn’t have recommended to ditch Jar-Jar, he should have recommended to ditch Yoda and to cut every single Yoda scene from the originals. Hmm, I’m gonna start a petition and send it to Mr.Lucas …

      • SUPERSOUP

        In the original trilogy, Yoda adds a lot to Luke’s journey and to our understanding of how the universe and the martialarts of the Jedi work.

      • Beaverbrook

        Yoda is extremely important as a character. He represents the small and “weak” having more power than the large and powerful. The Rebel alliance against the Empire. He represents the light side of the force to Palpatine’s dark side. I don’t understand what you mean by “overrated”?
        Jar-Jar was a buffoonish harlequin who might get a laugh out of babies in diapers, only because they don’t understand what they are looking at.

        • Marvin Falz

          Well, I tried to be funny turning the truth about OT and PT upside down, but I’ve obviously failed.

  • Whoa Buddy

    Okay, everyone has their own idea for the prequels, but here’s a few of mine for how it could have been a little better. Jedi wear white armor like the stormtroopers in the original trilogy, and have white capes or whatever, very similar to what Vader wears, only without the voice box thing or the mask. Cloned monsters keep causing trouble, and the jedi are usually the ones who fix it. Palpatine introduces his group of stormtroopers and says he doesn’t trust the jedi. They’re the new “white knights”, and they can save everyone better than the jedi because Palpatine is the one making the cloned monsters. Eventually they keep voting him more and more power, and it would actually be similar to a real world situation as opposed to “Oh, he has clones now I guess? Oh now he looks like a monster?”, since he’s offering them protection from the storm troopers. At least then things would make sense. Just a minor thing

  • Tyler AitchKay

    I’d really like to know, too

  • Catinabox

    Overall I get the feeling that george lucas tried to make three movies that looked “starwarsy” without understanding what made them work. Something like making a product that looks like a book using another book, without knowing how to read.

  • Bob

    I think the prophecy should’ve been just “bring balance to the force”, which is what it was in the first movie. In that sense Anakin DOES bring balance by killing all the Jedi, bringing the amount of Jedi and Sith more in line.

  • Thomas Thompson

    … I think I would’ve liked it more if the Jedi were more human and expressed more political influence and desire for power. Furthermore why do the Sith have to be evil all the time? That is such a retarded and primitive morality system of Sith = bad and Jedi = good. Can’t they have a Sith lord who tries to bring peace? I mean if you look at it in a general objective manner ALL PEOPLE WANT PEACE… NOT WAR. Some people view fascist governments as an efficient means of governing… are they evil? No. They simply have a different political perspective from the Jedi. Can’t we have a Jedi that achieves good through extremes??

    Why do we have to dumb this down? Why can’t Palpatine be a wizard who is imposing fascism for the greater good of the people… though at what cost? I like the notion of Palpatine being misunderstood rather than being some stupid mindless troll that pisses people off for a living. I think that Palpatine would do better as a young and ideological knight who has fought in some war long ago… aspiring to become the hero that everyone wants…. but then as time erodes his spirit he comes to the conclusion that perhaps democracy is an unstable political philosophy so he decides that the only logical deduction is to construct a fascist movement and weed out the Republican government….. BASICALLY in other-words Palpatine is a much more detailed and intelligent character.

    The Jedi? Well I would like some power hungry Jedi who try to take over. The Jedi order should be simply an order of KNIGHTS FOR THE REPUBLIC. Some knights who believe in monarchy, some fascism, others fiscal conservatives, liberals, etc. Why do we get this dumbed down shit that all the Jedi are sexually repressed robots? STUPID.

    As for Darth Vader I would totally redesign his character. Essentially he would be radically different….

    I hate star wars now and it is only going to get worse with this disney crap.

    • Marc Faure

      I completely disagree with your assertions. The Jedi are the honorable warriors. Think of it like The Karate Kid. The Force is just there. It isn’t good or bad. If used for serenity, knowledge and defense it is done properly. If used for power, destruction and oppression it is done incorrectly and you get evil. Especially when you bring up something like Fascism. It, like the type of Communism practiced by Stalin (which is a far leap from Lenin) were all about control. Taking control of the peons and forcing them to live under your rules. This is what the Emperor did and hence what all Sith desire. If a Jedi begins to lust after power, strength and control he has given in to the dark side of the force. You should watch Star Wars: The Legacy Revealed. It explains it all very well and how Star Wars took the age old themes that have proven effective time and again and added a dash of futuristic technology and mysticism to make them timeless classics.

  • Kilian Sjöblom

    Seems to me that the prophecy is that the chosen one brings balance to the force, and all the jedis interpret it in different ways. Like that it means that the chosen one will destroy the sith. It’s not that uncommon to interpret prophecies in a way that is beneficial to yourself.

    • Marvin Falz

      True. There could have been one long scene in which the Jedi council debates the meaning of the prophecy, what prophecies are in general and how a Jedi should approach prophecies. But that would be more like Star Trek and imho there should be no prophecy at all in the Star Wars movies. Jedis know the Force, how it’s interwoven with the galaxy, how to communicate with it and how to use it. The Force is an energy field, it’s neutral in itself. The user decides what to do with it, the Force is indifferent to the concept of good or evil. I think though the Force can’t be indifferent because it has no consciousness. It just is like water just is.

      Or if a writer has to use a prophecy theme then the prophecy should be grounded in the real life of the story. Some prophet could have forecasted a Sith dictatorship and mass executions of the Jedis, the rise of a hero and ultimately the destruction of the dictator and the renewal of the Jedi. But that would be lame given that we already know the first saga.

  • diehounderdoggen

    At 1:00 you can see a set of cliffs notes neatly propped up between some bookends.
    This fact is absolutely unrelated to the quality and depth of George Lucas’ writing.

    • VasiddisaV

      Oh fuck, not only that but they’re prominently displayed in a position for easy use during script writing.

      What a pro.

    • Barry Herbers

      I’m confused. Why does this matter?

  • wizdumb

    New Glarus spotted! Plinket lives in wisconsin!

  • Ellen

    Awesome, awesome reviews, I agree with Plinkett on every single thing. I have always felt this way, and it’s only a pleasure to see all that is the wrong with the prequels analysed in such detail.
    We can truly say the only element that has survived of the original Star Wars is the general style of the environment, but even that only to a point. The Italian resort on the lake in episode 2, for example, feels totally out of place, as does the face of Darth Maul, who relies on carnival make-up to show he is evil.
    Probably 2 separate prequels/sequels should be done: one for the “Gee, 27 light-sabers in one shot, hooow coooool!” types, who see movies as sort of videogames/thrillers, and one for people who actually cares for meaningful plots, interesting dialogues, good acting, poetic sense.
    If anything, those terrible prequels show by contrast how the original trilogy was just a veritable masterpiece of art, full of meaning, fascination and poetry. Even people who are not familiar with writing, pshychology etc, feel there’s something seriously wrong with the prequels and are unable to enjoy them. As far as I am concerned, they are just some more junk added to the one true story, to pile up on all those novels, fanfiction, etc. Bravo Plinkett, and OT forever!

  • Bob Huber

    Something that I have always found frustrating is how much more advanced the ships and vehicles look in the prequels, especially SW episode III. I know, they used miniatures, in the first trilogy, and then they used CGI in these movies, but if you are a digital animator,or George Lucas, when does it occur to you that the ships that you are creating don’t look like they are from a spot in the timeline that happens before the original trilogy? They should have made that stuff look even less interesting than the tie fighters and the x-wings. Right?

    • GoodLarry

      Yeah. That has always bothered me, too. Like you pointed out, the look and feel of the world in which it takes place is somewhat determined by the technology used in making each trilogy. One of the inevitable problems with making any prequel is trying to make a new film look older than the films that came before it. Lucas seemed determined to use state-of-the-art (in the late 90s) technology to tell a story that was supposed to take place 20 years before the other films that were made using older technology. Super ass-backwards.

      • Phoenix

        Look at Deus Ex. The prequel has much nicer looking technology than the original.

    • Phoenix

      The thing about the Star Wars universe is that they seem to use the same designs over hundreds of years. The armour, weapons, ships, and even fashions in The Old Republic are basically the same as the prequels, which are just repainted (and smoother) versions of the original.

    • Haitchpeasauce

      Looking over modern history, totalitarian regimes destroy advancements in art and technology and pour funds into the military. So theoretically the prequel technology can look pretty good in comparison to the first trilogy. But the prequels missed the opportunity to visually communicate a fall from prosperity, showing a decline in civilisation and design, and ultimately the drab design of Imperial Star Destroyers and TIE Fighters.

  • Cris

    i didnt know plinkett had polio. i thought he was just an old, fat, cat fucking, wife murdering pizza roll…hmm

  • GoodLarry

    I don’t think there should have been a prophecy in the first place.

    Portraying Anakin as “Space Jesus” is ridiculous.

    This has way too many syllables to be a haiku.

    • Alex Lee

      Let’s see here…

      Anakin Jesus
      He was whiny and angsty

      Too absurd for us.

  • Marv

    What is the song at 16:18?

    • AAA

      SULATNS OF SWING. Dire Straits.

  • tritorch

    Hey Plinkett,

    On the backtracking ‘noble’ scene where Anakin wants to veer off and help the clone, i’ve come up with two slightly different takes on it. It’s not that i think you’re wrong, it’s that in my view the scene was meant to serve more than one purpose – to not only remind the audience that a genocidal murderer is actually “noble” but also to lay the foundation for one of the following:

    ——————————–

    1) Anakin takes Obiwans disregard for the well being of the clone to heart, and it helps form the basis of his complete disregard for his soldiers in the later movies. Granted Obiwan didn’t mean it that way, but Anakin is already completely torn and “lost” at this point. (My favorite image in the whole entire saga is Anakin holding both the blue and red lightsabers at his side moments after he decapitates Dooku. This shot was so genius they should have made all the promotional posters out of it.)

    2) Anakin takes Obiwans disregard for the well being of the clone to heart, and it helps form the basis of his hatred and complete distrust of the Jedi.

    Think back to the end of the movie when Anakin ripostes Obiwans Sith bashing with “from my point of view the Jedi are evil!” To me these two scenes are directly linked. Sure, these bits of dialog are feeble attempts at bringing the film full circle – from the opening shots to the closing – by a bad writer who’s clearly out of his depth…. But then that just makes it all the more plausible because who could expect George to come up with anything better?

    ——————-

    Ultimately: as a young impressionable child Anakin was instructed by Qui Gon Jinn: “I’m not allowed to train you, so I want you watch me and be mindful”. Qui Gon Jinn than proceeded to exploit his Jedi powers to cheat and steal his way off of Tatooine with no remorse, introspection, or guilt.

    The backtracking scene reminds us that from Anakin’s first exposure to the Jedi all the way til the end, dishonor and disgraceful behavior permeated the Jedi order. At least “from his point of view”.

    (As an aside i would also point out that Padme’s carefree acceptance of his genocidal rampage through the Sand People’s camp contributed a great deal to him becoming Darth Vader. When no questions were asked, no disgusted fingers were pointed, no fearful crying and fleeing ensued. Well… let’s just say that in life as in bad art (like bad movies *ahem*), you get more of what you tolerate.)

    Course that’s just one geeks opinion.

  • AlcaldeEste

    From screenrant.com: “Disney has confirmed that in addition to the core trilogy event films, we’ll also be seeing regular standalone movies set in the Star Wars universe – with spin-offs possibly involving Boba Fett, Yoda, and a SEVEN SAMURAI-LIKE JEDI MOVIE FROM ZACK SNYDER [my emphasis]. A Han Solo standalone film (a prequel) was also mentioned and has quickly become the most talked about option among fans who are eager to see the smuggler’s early days – or at the very least, see him make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs.”
    Sucker Punch with Jedis? That’s gonna be great!
    George Lucas may have raped our childhoods, but Disney seems to be lined up to give our adulthoods full frontal lobotomies. Maybe their greatest accomplishment will be to make everyone wish that George Lucas was back at the helm.

    • Marvin Falz

      I admit, when I first heard the news about George Lucas selling to Disney I rejected all feelings about the deal and I was like whatever.

      But some days ago I’ve changed my mind a bit and I’ve become a little curious. So I’ll keep my mind open and decide later, if I like the new new Star Wars or not.

      It’s potentially a win-win situation. Either the new films are great or they’re not which might bring us some Plinkett reviews.

      - I think I should call someone.
      - Who you gonna call?
      - Plinkett’s demon exterminator service.

    • Alex Lee

      Ugh, a Seven Samurai version in Star Wars. The problem is that the Jedi are so overpowered that they can do all of the work without teaching the villagers/civilians how to defend themselves.

      • diehounderdoggen

        Seven Samurai with Jedi: Overpowered and boring.
        Seven Samurai with mercs, smugglers, scoudrels, etc: Might be cool.

    • Leo Silva Vidal

      I’m hyped for the plinkett reviews of that.

  • Faggot

    Are you saying Shrek is bad you fucking Farquaad?

  • Anand

    God, the ending is just so brilliant… blowing up the death star sequence and the music linked to all the crap from the prequel production.. Plinkett is incredible.

  • Matt

    This is my favorite Pliknett review by far. It was the first one I saw and brought me to the awesomeness of RLM

  • T3nno

    fact: jaja was the best thing to happen to star wars
    fact: any one who likes han or bobba fet aren’t real star wars fans

    • James Green

      It’s Bobby Feet, not bobba fet. You spelt it wrong.

  • aglund

    It’s so obvious that Lucas was inspired by The Matrix in making Anakin “The one”

  • Beaverbrook

    This was the first review I saw, and although they are all hilarious and well thought out, this was the best one.
    Perhaps it’s because I am such a big fan of Star Wars, I don’t know for sure, but after watching the first five minutes I didn’t think it was theoretically possible for me to continue crying in laughter for an entire hour and a half, because it is not something I can say I have ever experienced before. I thought it was just a very strong five minute opening, but the brilliance continued on at the same high level for the entire hour and a half.
    You will never truly know what that means, because you don’t realize how hyper critical I am of media in general, and how rare it is for me to be blown away like this.
    Again, perhaps it is because of my strong emotional passion for the Star Wars movies (the prequels don’t count as “Star Wars movies”), but I have to say whomever put this thing together is a genius(es); PURE GENIUS.
    It was like watching a slugger at batting practice knock ball after ball out of the park for an hour and a half. You hit the nail on the head with both the detailed, clever critique, and the satirical timing, pace, rhythm, and humor of your character.
    Few people will ever be able to fully appreciate what you have done here. Now I need a drink of water because of all the water I have lost from my tears and the sweat I created from the physical exertion of it all.
    You made my week.

    Don’t change anything. PURE GENIUS.

  • Alex Lee

    Thinking about this movie, I was thinking that this is Lucas’s attempt at writing Dr. Faustus. The thing about Faustus that most people don’t realize is that the protagonist, who had grand visions of what he would do with his Satanic powers, devolves as a character into a boor who performs parlor tricks and tricks horse-coarsers. Faustus becomes a clown before his demise/descent into hell.

    Anakin also has a similar story arc, and when Plinkett said, “You didn’t expect to be laughing, did you?” I think that Lucas actually succeeded in what he was doing-making a dark comedy, not a tragedy.

  • Citizen Vader

    How fucked up is it that after watching all three reviews and going over the critiques, that I actually appreciate The Phantom Menace a lot more than the other two? Don’t get me wrong, it sucked but at least it didn’t rely on shoving in so many things from the OT nor did it heavily rely on CGI, and it had actual sets and models. Out of the three, TPM felt more like an actual movie than the other cartoon-y installments.

    • Haitchpeasauce

      The general trend of sequels being worse than the first movie applies even to a movie as bad as The Phantom Menace. It was all downhill from there.

      If the second act is the lowest point of a 3-act dramatic structure, and if there is going to be another Star Wars trilogy… then that means… Episodes 1-3 are that second act of the Star Wars movie franchise!! Which means… Episodes 7-9 will be like Return of the Jedi.

      Again, it’s like poetry, they rhyme. Every stanza rhymes with the last one.

      • Citizen Vader

        …Hopefully it’ll work.

    • Awful Words

      Lucas realized that the tangible sets & props created a visual dissonance when combined with all the late 90s CGI (even wores-looking than modern CGI!). This contrast just wouldn’t do. When making the next films in the trilogy, something would have to go, and it sure as hell wouldn’t be CGI. After all, he had all this money invested in the technology. It doesn’t matter that the technology made movies look like cheap-ass video games. Because directing isn’t a craft. It’s a fucking cash cow.
      I’m totally not cynical. Not at all.

  • jay dude

    so you and the guy from belated media should come up with a star wars movie, something like stick figures with cats in there buttholes, but when they find out that the galactic pizza roll has begun a cavity search for said kitties, they learn that drudge leukemia ruined star wars. pay homeless guys or something, you would contribute more to society than he has.

  • That Guy

    Hey, Mike, they’re making some new animated Star Wars series called “Rebels”! Please, for the love of God audition for the part of Palpatine!!!!

  • Ben

    “So uncivilized.”…..Ummm, excuse me, who’s the douche that sliced Darth Maul in half, cut that chick bounty hunter’s arm off, pried open Grievous’ chest and then shot his exposed hear with a blaster, cut off your best friend’s arm and legs off and let him burn to a crisp, then 19 years later you cut off another guy’s arm in a bar (it’s like poetry, they rhyme!)?!?! Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Galaxy’s Biggest Hypocrite.

    • doc

      He was talking about the blaster.

    • Septet

      It’s a reference from that scene in “A New Hope” when he says “Your father’s lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as random or as clumsy as a blaster; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.”

  • Haitchpeasauce

    Part 3, 7:00, “… there was never really anything to tempt Luke, other than just a vague threat, and the notion that the more hate you have the more powerful you can become.”

    Luke’s temptation was that he was within easy striking distance of the Emperor. The Emperor made it clear his friends were lost. Killing him would end the war and save his friends, right then and there. All he had to do was give in to hate, reach out and take his weapon. The quick and easy path lay before him, which he took.

    As Vader stepped in and continued to pressure Luke, he succumed to desperation and rage. He was willing to kill the father he was trying to save in order to reach the Emperor, as well as end the unfinished conflict of the first duel. At the verge of finishing off Vader, seeing the severed mechanical hand like his own, only then Luke saw the path he was on and gave up the fight.

    To me the building tension in the Luke/Vader/Emperor scenes was well executed, and a fitting climax to Luke’s character arc.

  • I Shot J.R

    General Grievous doesn’t have a grievance some one, it’s just a general grievance.

    • TapewormBike

      Dude, major spoilers!

  • That Guy

    I hate to be that guy, but the country of Cambodia is in Asia not Africa, so anyone rich enough to move to Cambodia as a child from Africa will not be starving. Check your facts before posting something. Unsubscribed!

    • O.

      I hope this was an ingenious parody comment. But if your comment was written in all seriousness, then I also hate to be that guy, etc. You do realise it was intentional, just like Plinkett stated that Cuba was surrounded by a trade blockade during the First World War? It’s a part of his character.

    • fiddlecub

      So adorable, taking a joke seriously! Aw. Can I pet him?

  • Pulp

    Your “Mein Kampf” sounds so adorable.

  • Martín Galarza Flores

    “This is an analgy… Oh my god, this is going too far. I’m going too far in a few places…”

  • Anonymous

    In part 3, 12:04 some stuff stood out to me and took me out of the review.

    And the stuff was that sweet BGM.

    • Jesus

      Always wondered what this tune was.

  • lnwdr

    Playback of all your Blip.tv videos is not working. I’ve been trying for a few days now. Seems like Blip is having a serious problem …

    Maybe upload the review that aren’t already there to Youtube?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001861318652 Masa Soh Mengming

      Looks okay now. Try using Google Chrome or some other browser.

      • lnwdr

        I already tried multiple Browsers, including Chrome … (BTW: That shouldn’t make any difference in the first place as long as I use a current browser and not some ancient version)

        Seems to have been an issue on Blip.tv’s side since none of their videos were working for a while. Apparently they fixed it by now.

  • proghead777

    The saddest thing about these reviews is that they’ve ruined the ENTIRE franchise for me because I suddenly realized that the Emperor sounds a lot like a male Carol Channing: And now, young Skywalker… you will die…. IN RASPBERRIES!

    • Awful Words

      [resisting the urge to Google Carol Channing...]

  • Alex Lee

    Remember the Clone Wars miniseries that came out in between II and III? And how awesome the introduction of General Grievous was where he actually kicks ass and kills Shaggy? Why didn’t they just make the first half of the movie be a war movie and then make the second half detail Anakin’s fall?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTnpqjJae-g

    • Awful Words

      Yes. Yes to everything you said, sir.

      • Thanatos2k

        The intro level to Star Wars: The Force Unleashed where you play as Darth Vader is a better Vader movie than the entirety of Episode 3.

  • mlg4035

    Freakin’ HILARIOUS!!! Thank you Harry Plinkett!!!

  • LukeMM95

    Something tells me that there will still be “fans” who hate Episode VII and will use this hate as a way of defending the prequels.

  • Jon

    The issue with what you said is that Star Wars is one of the most polarized universes I know of (at least the movies are). There really isn’t much moral ambiguity on anyone’s side in the prequels or the originals. Han and Lando are probably the most ambiguous characters in all six and Han reveals himself to be good at the end of IV and Lando basically had no choice, but even he does good at the end of Bespin. Good and Evil don’t exist in the real world, but in star wars they do. Jedi=Good. Sith=Bad. Ps. Also, it would help it some of the Confederation “Heroes” were shown and some of the Republic “Villains” were as well.

    • Marvin Falz

      “Good and Evil don’t exist in the real world…”

      Wrong. Of course good and evil exist in the real world, if evil wouldn’t exist, all endeavors to end wars and so on would not only be futile, they would be utterly preposterous if not insane.

      • Maverick

        In regards to the “Heroes on Both Sides” thing. The issue is that ‘Heroes on Both Sides” refers to the Clone Wars. While this statement is true in general and applicable to real life, we don’t see the application of this theme in the movie. General Grevious, Count Dooku, and Palpatine only act as evil bad guys in the movies. We do not see a morally grey character fighting for the Seperatists (which honestly would have been more interesting than General Grevious). If good and bad being in the eyes of the beholder was a theme that Lucas was going for, then he should have put this in the movie. Throwing it in the opening title crawl and then not establishing or developing this theme in any way is the issue. None of the characters leading the Seperatists are morally grey characters, or even Villains with justifiable positions.Count Dooku is a Sith Lord doing the bidding of Palpatine, Grevious is a Robot pawn, and the Seperatists leaders are going along with them. The only Seperatist Planetary leader with a purpose or motivation is Nute Gunray who wants Padma killed because she stopped him from invading a planet and got him arrested. Plinkett’s point is that the heroes on both sides is not established in the movies, and that books and video games that do does not make up for the movies failings. If you want to say that taking all the source material as a whole, the prequel story is good then thats fine. But the movies are suppose to be the focal point of Star Wars and everything else is suppose to be supplemental, not crucial parts of the puzzle.

        • Marvin Falz

          Thanks for the reply, though my point wasn’t at all aimed at the movie. I’ve always taken “heroes on both sides” as impossible, but if you look at it from the perspective of each team then it’s possible. Then being a hero only means that someone has done something very important for his or her own team. Wether this something is good or evil is not important. I actually don’t have the time right now to think about if “heroes on both sides” is or is not applied in the prequels. But it’s probably not.

      • Jon

        So, 1. You’re saying that good and evil unambiguously exist in the world? And 2. Are you saying that war is evil?

        • Marvin Falz

          I’m saying that good and evil exist. I’m not a friend of the “it’s all a matter of perspective” approach. Palpatine is evil because his only goal is to achieve unlimited power and he’s willing to use force no matter what. War is basically evil, humans are able to communicate and reach their goals in peace and they’re also able to understand at some point when their goals are nothing but egoistic. I’m aware that wars can be justified when they’re fought to protect or liberate. It’s something different with peace. Let’s say if war is either good or bad, then peace is good in both ways. There are alternatives to fighting.

          • Jon

            Perhaps I’m wrong here, but I’ve always understood the whole “good/evil” dichotomy as one that exists everywhere, across all time and all reason. To say that one is good or evil is too make a permanent statement that would transcend everything else. Now, Palpatine is evil to everyone whom is not Sith. The Sith wouldn’t object to Palpatine’s methods as “evil”. Terrorist’s don’t consider themselves evil, only their enemies do. Everyone has their justifications. All wars that have ever been fought include either “protecting” or “liberating”. Iraq has long claimed Kuwait as a province. Vietnam has not been historically un-unified. The Croats were liberating themselves from Serbian domination, etc. No one says “I’m a bad guy”. This is biggest issue with Star Wars, LoTR, and anything else that has such a black and white view of things. It’s not reality. It’s what you’re taught as a kid. In jr. high or high school you should move beyond it into the real world. Lastly, War is not evil. War is an abstract idea. There has been at least one war in which no one has died (I assume death via warfare is your major protest against war).

          • Marvin Falz

            It is part of my protest. War brings death, destruction of infrastructure, most likely war rape, torture, war traumas on all sides – maybe not if you control a drone from an armchair so to speak – it dehumanizes, because soldiers train to get over their empathy in order to kill on command.
            War splits the teams in winners and losers, whereas human interaction should ideally lead to win-win situations.
            I still don’t think that being against war is black and white thinking. Propaganda, which tries to establish that the own team is saintly and on God’s side as opposed to the enemy team which is the devil, is. Some years ago some guy said that war is good because it reduces the amount of people on earth. Then he asked me to tell him the acceptable number of how many people could be killed. First of all, I don’t think the world is overpopulated, the world has always seen rich years and meager years. Second, I told him the number is zero. If I would have chosen a positive number, I would have agreed with him that killing is acceptable.

          • Jon

            None of those things are absolutely necessary in war. The Anglo-Zanzibarian war had zero deaths. Was it still bad? In that war those nasty, evil British colonialists used their evil imperial might to end slavery in the sultanate of Zanzibar. Damn European Colonialism! None of the things you stated are absolutely necessary for a war to take place. They are extremely likely outcomes, but they are not intrinsically tied to the idea of war. Lastly, for those who disapprove war, I ask you this: Where would we be without war? No Roman Empire, no modern world. I wouldn’t exist. I’d be split between Scotland, Ireland, Germany and Poland. Of course none of those places would exist be war is how nations come to exist and remain in existence.

          • Marvin Falz

            If you didn’t exist you wouldn’t know it. If I didn’t exist, I wouldn’t know it either, so whatever.
            According to Wikipedia “the sultan’s forces sustained roughly 500 casualties, while only one British sailor was injured.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Zanzibar_War) The war “lasted around 40 minutes”. I’m pretty sure the colonialists were all in all more interested in their own power politics than in spreading humanism around the world. At least the British abolished slavery in the Zanzibar sultanate. We probably should take a look at the shortcomings of the British empire. Since you brought up the Roman Empire, the Romans usually didn’t forget the nails. Also according to Wikipedia war “is generally characterised by extreme violence, social disruption, and economic destruction.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War). Besides that I’ve already written that I’m aware of that wars can be justified when they protect or liberate. The point I’m trying to make is that wars can be avoided and that peace doesn’t hurt anyone in the first place. This is intrinsically tied to the idea of peace.

          • Jon

            Eek. I was wrong. I could have sworn it was zero. Anyways, yes wars may be able to generally be avoided, but is that good? Now I don’t know if you or anyone considers the world we live in to be a good one, but it only came about through war. War gets things done. History is politics and war is the continuation of politics by other means. And peace does hurt. Look at Germany at the end of WWI or Hungary. Hungary lost big time. Or Russia. Russia lost a lot when communism won-and the minorities lost a lot more until Stalin died in 1953. War and Peace are not innately good or bad, but why they are fought or not fought and the ultimate consequence is what is of importance.

          • Marvin Falz

            Well, I guess your logic also declares that for example hitting children isn’t innately good or bad, but why they are hit or not hit and the ultimate consequence is what is of importance. That’s the logic of ‘the end justifies the means’. That sort of logic can also be used to justify the Holocaust. Kind of like this: the Holocaust wasn’t innately good or bad but why the Jews were hunted and murdered is of importance.
            Probably no-one in their right mind wants to be abused and much less to be murdered. That should be a major hint that violence is innately bad. War is violence on a large scale. You say war get’s things done, but what things? Nelson Mandela didn’t need to wage war in South Africa to achieve peace. Gandhi didn’t wage war, he went into hunger strikes. And if peace isnt’ innately good or bad, then why go to war to end war to achieve peace. Seems to me that people value peace. It makes sense since a neverending war would lead to the total annihilation of humankind.

          • Jon

            Exactly. If there is a child soldier with gun prepared to shoot me, I’ll do more than slap him or her. I’ll hit woman too if they are threatening me. Ooo. I’m sexist. It’s sexist not to hit a woman because she a woman. Literal definition of sexism. I already stated what war gets done. Regardless of whether or one likes the modern world, it would not exist if not for the Roman empire. The Roman empire achieved a lot of conquest through war. It is literally impossible to remotely assess what the world would look like without the romans. Or the conquests of Islam. And many many others. Neither of what Mandela or Gandhi did would have mattered had the west not decided to do something about it. Without Western pressure, Mandela would have likely died in jail. Without WW2, Britain may well have fought to keep India. War happens. Peace happens. Both can benefit countries. Neither is innately good or bad. It’s all consequential. As a last point, a neverending war need not necessarily lead to the total annihilation of mankind. Especially considering there are unfound peoples and extremely remote peoples, not to mention the fact as long as the birth rate would stay higher than death rate, mankind would continue it’s existence.

          • Marvin Falz

            No, not exactly. Your world view is mechanistic and fatalistic (“War happens. Peace happens.”) and you’re extremely inconsequential since you say that war (violence) isn’t innately bad or good but interestingly you would defend yourself if threatened. So it seems to me you find violence bad, as long as it is aimed at you. I’d thought with your line of thinking you’d be perfectly alright with being abused or murdered, since war gets things done.

          • Jon

            I’m still not sure why you think violence is innately bad. To me “innate” means always. If some guy came in my room right now and tried to murder, I think I would be justified in trying to defend myself. If however, I tried to murder you in your room, I think that action would and should be condemned. The question should center around violence for what’s sake. Also, as for my worldview, I am a kind of social contract theorist. I am foreign policy isolationist. I think we should pull out all troops out of foreign countries and I cannot see a good reason the US should invade anyone. I also think that we should decrease our military by probably 75% (at least). With all that being said, I still think it is irresponsible to paint someone as evil or good. It is a caricature. I’m more forgiving when it happens in movies, but even then it’s bothersome because a good or evil character is so one dimensional. No one’s perfectly good or perfectly evil. We all have flaws and we all have positive things about us. Even the Nazis had extremely progressive laws about animal cruelty, but no ones remembers that. It of course does not nullify all the inhumane things they did, but it shows they were not 100% categorically evil. Maybe only 99.5% evil. Evil is a stereotype and extreme oversimplification of people who are in fact very complex and nuanced. It reduces them to images and ideology. I just rewatched the Avatar Plinkett review. Look at what he says about the military boss guy. No nuance, just stereotypes. That’s not productive, that’s counterproductive.

          • Marvin Falz

            Yes, I’m all for self-defense and defense of others. As for stereotypes, one great thing about the original Star Wars movies is that Darth Vader evolves from some sort of evil faceless machine to some sort of evil faceless machine with a human core which Luke is able to uncover and touch. I also like the irony that Yoda and Ben – the great Jedi masters who stand for peaceful solutions and force as last resort – can’t think of another way to neutralise the threat Vader is posing than to kill him which is why they try to cover up and conceal Vader’s and Luke’s backstory. On the other hand such is life exactly. Nobody has all the answers and nobody is able to look all the way into the future at the endpoint of a story. At least it’s very rare.

          • Jon

            True Dat.

          • Keith Thomas

            I am sorry I am late to this discussion, but I thought I would add my two pennies worth.

            War is an outcome of the fixed state of flawed human beings.It is an expression of cultural, technological, demographic, political, economic and geographical differences being utilized for the sake of gaining advantages
            or preventing ‘another’ through violent means. War in and of itself is neither ‘good’ nor ‘bad’, and arguably throughout the history of mankind, it seems to be the natural order of things.

            It just seems that in the post war years, that war seems
            ‘unnatural’ to those from the Western liberal democratic tradition. Certainly if we lived in a place like Central Africa, we would have a very different view of conflict, vastly different from the average political science class and the therapeutic
            view of the world. It is a calculation made collectively by societies whether a society believes it can reach its objectives through violence or other means.

            As the military theorist Clausewitz points out, “War is the continuation of Politik by other means” ‘politik’ meaning
            policies, aims and objectives of any given society.

            To prevent war, I’d would argue that rather than ‘dialogue’ or
            ‘understanding’, it’s the realization of the flawed state of human nature and society and those tensions with other societies and groups, which leads to societies organizing for warfare. Killing people is a by product of that process, not the main driver.

            It is utterly futile, I would argue, to ‘reason’
            with say Al Qaeda, since they see the struggle in almost apocalyptic terms. No amount of discourse regarding Israel and the Palestinians, economic development
            in the Middle East, Western foreign policy or whatever we might think is the ‘root cause’, is going to change the mind of many Islamic radicals, because they see
            the struggle through metaphysical terms-black and white with no shades of grey, and they will kill as many people they need to reach their objective, in this case the establishment of a global caliphate.

            I would also argue. Croats, Bosnians and Serbs didn’t need to ‘understand’ each other, since they had been living side by side since the formation of Yugoslavia, but the reason why they stopped the civil war, was that all parties thought
            they could gain advantages over the other without spending blood and treasure.

            I would suggest that its institutions that mitigate or magnify
            war’s effects. ‘Peace through strength’ and deterrence, international laws and organizations, the media influencing public and political opinion to name a few examples. It is not often realized that the US military actually had all but crippled the Vietcong and NVA (and was admitted as such by the Communists), but because of the political views of the intellectual and media class, who believed the war was ‘unwinnable’, that influenced public and political opinion to such an extent in effect the US defeated itself.

            It’s also interesting that you choose Ghandi and Mandela as examples of pacifism, dialogue and moderation. While it is true Ghandi himself did not engage in acts
            of violence himself, he certainly encouraged others to do so. He frequently wrote to Hitler, and expressed an opinion that Hitler was a ‘friend’. He urged the British to surrender, and encouraged Indian’s not to fight against Japan.

            As George Orwell points out in his essay ‘Pacifism and the War’ “Pacifism is objectively pro-fascist. This is elementary common sense.If you hamper the war effort of one side, you automatically help out that of the other. Nor is there any real way of remaining outside such a war as the present one. In practice, ‘he that is not with me is against me’.”

            Hardly a man of peace?

            Mandela was arrested and sent to prison because
            he was about to carry out political violence against the Government. Whatever the rights and wrongs of his cause, he certainly wasn’t a ‘pacifist’ by any stretch of the imagination. It was through his contact with his Afrikaans prison wardens, an understanding of Afrikaans history, especially against the British, that he came to realize that the Afrikaner State was not going to be overthrown by military means, that he changed track and sort a political solution.

            While arguably he prevented a civil war in South Africa, today it remains a violent society, with all the problems that apartheid South Africa also had poverty, racial discrimination, corruption and inequality. Rather than the National Party holding the whip, it’s the ANC today.

            It all comes down to what values an individual
            holds, and if they are worth defending. That is the moral dilemma, especially if you believe in everything; you end up believing in nothing.

            Star Wars is merely a simple illustration of the consequences of being ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and that is utility in itself, but to think that a bunch of rich old hippies offers any other insights, is highly misleading.

          • Marvin Falz

            Welcome to the discussion. I can’t find anything about Mandela and Hitler being friends except in a comment to an article of the spectator. Maybe Mandela has written Hitler before he realised that Hitler was a monster?

            I also doubt that good can be put on the same level with bad. Mandela worked to end apartheid and to end racism, poverty, inequality and violence. Hitler on the other hand wanted to conquer the world for the Aryan race and kill off those who he deemed to be unworthy to live. Stanislav Grof called the movement of the National-Socialists a “misleaded mystical movement”. Instead of conquering their inner worlds and – I don’t know – fight a war inside their own spirits, they projected this war into the world. Maybe there’s a reason why the Nazis tried to eliminate the Jews. The Jews are a spiritual nation by default and Hitler’s National-Socialists were the aforementioned misleaded mystics.
            Here seems to be the only means to end all wars: know yourself, know your inner shadow, your evil spirit and take control over it every second of your life. Hopefully at one point in the future everybody takes this route to deal with the themselves and the world. Or at one point the majority of people just gets really tired of war and false political promises.

          • Keith Thomas

            No It Ghandi and Hitler……not Mandela and Hitler :)

          • Keith Thomas

            Regarding National Socialism.

            It is true that National Socialism had an element of the ‘mystical’ partly because of the influence of the Voikisch
            movement, which is little more than new age spiritualism, but in the main in was based on opposition to International Socialism (Communism) and capitalism, mix with conspiracy theory regarding minorities (Jews, homosexuals, Slavs), pan-Germanism, militarism and fascism.

            National-Socialists targetted Jews because they believed in conspiracy theory. To the Nazi’s, Jews stabbed Germany in the back in WW 1, were behind international capitalism and Bolshevism, which sought to corrupt Germany from within, while poisoning German blood, with the taint of,disease, homosexuality and mental illness.

            Many even today, as you often read in the comments section of You tube, believe this still to be the case, while accusing others of being ‘Nazi’ , ‘Brown shirts’ and ‘fascist’.

            But Hitler was not elected on these ideas. He presented to
            the public, policies with included overturning the Treaty of
            Versailles, restoring law and order, reversing German economic decline, reducing unemployment and poverty and restoring national confidence. It may come as surprise to you, as indeed it did to German’s in April 1945 that National Socialism is no different to any other ideology in regard to wanting happy healthy German’s. It the methodology that is radically different.

            With regards to Mandela and the ANC, it is true that he wanted an end to apartheid, although they are more specific but they also wanted the end of Afrikaner rule, and a change, which obviously would mean the ANC would be the ‘new order’. While I have no doubt that he was a man of personal courage and integrity, objectively has South African fortunes improved?

            My answer would be no. Poverty and unemployment has increased, as well as crime (South Africa has some of the highest murder rates in the world-higher than even Iraq under US occupation) discrimination not only between black and white, but between black and black (re Zulu’s and Cape coloured on the one hand and Xhosa on the other) has intensified, a one party state, and a corrupt and ineffectual judiciary and police.

            This rather overturns the argument that ‘looking within
            ourselves for answers’ is the solution to the world’s problems. That, with all due respect, is a glib answer from somebody who I am sure has a secure life in a Western democracy.

            While the sentiment is on the face of it agreeable, it ultimately does not address why some societies are failing. It would be also easy to blame it on ‘Western exploitation’, or ‘corporate greed’, but ultimately it is the lack of accountable institutions and mechanism within any given society, such as an independent judiciary; property rights, contract law, ‘negative’ rights (freedom of speech), and check and balances of power that ensure prosperity and freedom, and that is achieved through politics.

            As I outlined earlier, humankind is a rather flawed beast
            and nothing since the first recorded battle Megiddo
            (where we get the word Armageddon) suggests that this is going to change anytime soon.

            Si vis pacem, para bellum “If you want peace, prepare for war”,as Plato once said, stands true today.

          • Marvin Falz

            Yes to all you’ve written except “glib”. We were having a debate on basic principles, wether or not war is good or bad. We had already agreed that war to protect and to free is acceptable. I’d also given arguments why peace is preferable like this one: a society can only thrive sustainably if its people are in peace. The difficulty lies in the sheer amount of relations of billions of humans. You know, everybody has issues of all sorts to solve and it takes time and experience to get to the right way. I for one imagine that a holocaust isn’t possible anymore in Germany since now the people there know that the holocaust is most evil and also molecular biology and population genetics state that the division of humankind into different races is nonsense. All the differences we perceive like skin color are only superficial. In other words I see humanity gradually evolving to the better.

          • Keith Thomas

            “I’d also given arguments why peace is preferable like this one: a society can only thrive sustainably if its people are in peace.”

            Is peace preferable? At what cost is ‘peace’ brought? Think about a ‘pro-war’ approach for one second.

            War unites people, advances technology, gives society the means to tackle one task after another, reinforces common social values, regulates market economic forces, utilizes resources in an efficient manner, promotes individual acts of valour and self sacrifice for the common good.

            Peace on the other hand promotes individualism, is feckless and self serving, allows market forces to operate without constraint, devalues common interests and
            goals, slows technogical progress, and arguably deemphasises community and nation.

            Some progressives in the 20′s and 30′s promoted the idea of ‘war socialism’ to tackle the other ills of humanity-poverty, disease, unemployment and crime. If people could be mobilized in the same way as they would in war, then
            things would improve for all. The ‘New Deal’ shared many of the characteristic of fascism (which is war socialism in its ideological form), popular massed mobilized
            groups, with the power of the state to harness the collective energy to tackle economic hardship.

            It is debatable if these measures worked, but even today we still frame many issues through the prism of conflict, not just the obvious ‘war on terror’ or ‘war on drugs’ but even slogans like ‘war on want’, ‘class warfare’ or ‘fight war not wars’.

            As for an enlightened and educated population like Germany allowing the Holocaust to happen again? May be not today, but perhaps tomorrow. Germany was already
            the home of Goethe, Beethoven, Bach, Bismarck, Schopenhauer,Kant, Wagner, Brecht, and
            Schillar. It was the 2nd biggest manufacturer after the US, and 2nd biggest trader after the United Kingdom.

            Yet we still don’t fully understand why a culturally sophisticated nations like Germany, Japan, Russia, China or Italy adopted disastrous ideologies like Communism or National Socialism and policies which did more damage to themselves, than to the rest of the world.

            You only have to look at the amount of people who believe in conspiracy theory, or the metaphysical, to explain the way the world works. This is why I believe anarchy would never work- it does not restrain the strong, so the weak will always perish.

            Maybe Edmund Burke is fundamentally correct to be cautious of anything promising utopia. If it sounds good it’s a bad idea while the opposite s true as well. So I don’t share your belief in human evolving into ‘better
            people’……..

          • Marvin Falz

            Yes, peace is preferable. Unless of course you see social and economic sense in the destruction of the homes of human beings, of families and their property. You seem to have no empathy for people. Your arguments are purely ideological.

          • Keith Thomas

            “Your arguments are purely ideological.”

            With all due respect, you have not asked for my ideological opinion. I am just advancing the argument made by ‘progressives’ during the 1920′s and 1930′s.

          • Marvin Falz

            You’re right, I haven’t asked. And please apologize my outburst, I don’t take this topic lightly. I guess, this dialogue doesn’t lead anywhere I need to go, since my mind is made up. But thanks anyway. :)

          • Keith Thomas

            No apology need…….

  • Alex Lee

    So, I just re-watched Akira as an adult, and it’s a better Revenge of the Sith than Revenge of the Sith.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    Actually, the Millenium Falcon DID feature in Episode 3. It’s flying past in the background when they crash the ship into Coruscant in the first act of the film.

    • TapewormBike

      True, but it is more of a Easter Falcon than anything else, luckily it did not feature in the story in some “meaningful” way, like, I dunno, Anakin build it in the evenings for his mom.

    • DREW BURGE

      The YT-3000 (or w/e) is a stock Corellian freighter. Thousands were made. The point they are making is that it is not specified as the millennium falcon, chewbacca was specifically named in the movie.

  • Sand Ripper

    I’ve never watched Episode III, but I’ve watched this review of Episode III at least three times over the years.

    • Awful Words

      How I envy you. Oh, if only I could go back and change the decisions I’ve made. But my eyes – they cannot unsee!

      Goddamn regret!

  • Alexandria Sanders

    The art direction here always makes me happy. :)

  • Thanatos2k

    But there aren’t people on “the other side” – there’s robots. Robots produced in an assembly line plant somewhere. As we’ve established in the Phantom Menace review, no one treats robots like people in the Star Wars Universe. At least the clones have brains.

    So how can evil robots be called heroes?

    • Michael Buncic

      Then who built the plant that built the robots? And the lab that produced the clones? The Star Wars prequels may have been one-dimensional, but they weren’t so one-dimensional as to simply amount to “People vs Robots”!

      • Thanatos2k

        Contractors? Who built your house? Definitely not soldiers.

        • Michael Buncic

          They definitely weren’t robots either

          • Thanatos2k

            You aren’t going to call the mechanics that built a fighter plane heroes. Similarly, no one cares who built the plant who built the robots.

  • Thanatos2k

    There’s nothing there that suggests it’s the Millenium Falcon and not just a random Correlian transport.

  • Thanatos2k

    So in keeping of the spirit of the episode 3 review, you know who ELSE the prequels establish as being blind AND stupid? Han Solo.

    You see, Episode 1 has Anakin identify Qui Gon Booze as a Jedi Knight by his lightsaber (“only jedis use those”). A random slave kid on a backwater planet knows this fact.

    So fast forward to Episode 4 and Han Solo sees Obi-wan cut a guy’s arm off in the bar with a lightsaber, and then later is surprised that the Empire is after him and Luke. Really? The Empire at that point has been hunting the remaining Jedis for nearly 20 years. If a well-traveled streetsmart smuggler doesn’t even know his passenger with a blue lightsaber is one of the most wanted men in the Empire then Han Solo has got to be some kind of idiot.

    Do the prequels really expect us to believe this pig slop?

    • Stephen Lomeli

      Along the same lines… and furthing advancing the argument of Anakin’s stupidity- why does Vader bother to hire Boba Fett to track down Han Solo in ESB when he’s got millions of Boba clones at his disposal. F@ck the prequels!

      • Thanatos2k

        Well you see, Boba Fett is better than a random storm trooper because unlike the rest of the clones he had to grow up naturally with….no combat training……oh……

      • Alex Lee

        The only real argument was that somewhere in episode 2, the clones are made dumber and with less initiative than Boba Fett so that they’d work together as a team. All except for the Arc Troopers who were….oh….

        You’re right, F@ck the prequels!

      • Ian Hopkins

        Because at that time, most stormtroopers were either made from other clone templates, or real people.

        The Fett clones were a minority by ESB, due to 1. Jango being dead and 2. Kamino tried to rebel a few times. The Empire realized they can’t rely on just one source of soldiers.

        • Patrick

          When was this ever established in the movies?

          • Ian Hopkins

            Established in the EU, also, campaign for SWBF2. The Kaminoans bred clones separate from the ones they supplied the Empire with. It ended badly.

            Even if Kamino hadn’t rebelled, the Empire was most likely losing more troops than Kamino could replace, between Separatist stragglers, the fledgling Rebels, local resistance, and a lot of the survivors of the Clone Wars succumbing to their accelerated cloning, and aging rapidly.

            Plus, if people want to sign up with the Empire’s army, why would they turn them away? Cannon fodder is cannon fodder, and the Empire is no longer beholden to any moral issues that the Republic had.

  • Thanatos2k

    People wanted Jar Jar Binks?

    • Alex Lee

      He said he was a genius, not infallible.

    • Zombyyyy

      The second point, yes you are totaly right. damn i never thought about that! It would be change so much if vader is the only one who uses a lightsaber on the dark side.
      to your 3 point: that plot point is a total bullshit anyways. They have such technology and then just cuz palpatine tells him (he knows that he is a sith and sith are lyer) he kill everyone. You could explain it when you say, Anakin is just the dumbest jedi ever and maybe mentally retarded.
      I can Blame someon who lost his passion for something but then still works on it just for the fucking money. And he is just a incredible bad direcetor and very lazy

    • Patrick

      The fanboys may have hated him, but they would still go see all three movies for the lightsaber fights alone. Jar Jar was never for them, he was for the small children who wanted something wacky to keep their attention.

  • Ian Hopkins

    “I’m surprised Yoda didn’t shoot green lightning”

    Yeah, about that…

    That’s totally a light side force power in the EU. Its actually mentioned more than once.

    A passing reference in a recent sourcebook on Jedi training in section on “Forbidden Techniques” and a mention in another sourcebook on both Jedi and Sith. Plus apparently Luke MIGHT have been able to do it after the movies.

    It had some weird name, Electric Judgement, and was depicted as a “non-lethal version” that still had the extremely evil sounding effect of SAPPING A MAN’S WILLPOWER AND ENERGY. LUKE KILLED A MAN WITH IT.

    • diehounderdoggen

      I’m actually glad they made the Jedi a bit more practical in the EU, it makes things a little more interesting to have some of them walk the line between light and darkside rather than be an organization of homogenous and morally simplistic hippies.

      As for Luke’s EU arc, I’d hesitate to call him a Jedi in the prequels’ terms. In Return of the Jedi, he’s introduced as a fully fledged Jedi Knight having learned just about everything he can from Yoda. But instead of the classically heroic “hoods off” reveal shot of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon in Episode 1 (lifted from Obi’s reveal in A New Hope btw. poetry, stanzas, vomit, etc.) he’s kept in the shadows as he chokes out some guards, mind tricks his way into the court and threatens Jabba with certain death. He’s more Bene Gesserit than prequel Jedi and it’s pretty badass. I seriously doubt Lucas even considered this sequence in crafting how the Jedi looked and operated for the prequels.

      In fact, Luke’s arc as a Jedi reminds me (imperfectly) of Hegel’s dialectics:
      The Jedi (who value emotional restraint, passivity and harmony) act as the thesis, The Sith (who value emotional expression, active use of the force and domination) serve as a pretty decent antithesis. By Return of the Jedi, both the thesis and antithesis are nearly eliminated, and when Luke and Vader both eliminate the last of the Sith and the last of the Jedi, only Luke remains, having been influenced by both sides and come out stronger for it. The EU takes this even further by having Luke join the resurrected Emperor to further understand the kind of power that tempted his father. He’s certainly not a dark jedi, but it’s difficult to shoehorn him into the kind of light jedi we see in the prequels.

      • Ian Hopkins

        I just realized…

        Luke Skywalker is what a Grey Jedi SHOULD be.

        Actually being a good fucking person, who uses any and all resources available, regardless of preconceptions.

        Not Qui-Gon’s bullshit moral relativism.

  • gunslinger7sk

    At first I thought this was a troll article. Then I read the comment section. Prepare for utter disbelief.

    http://chris.pirillo.com/star-wars-prequels-vs-the-original-trilogy/

    • sickgamer5150

      oh.. my.. fucking.. god..

  • Jon

    You’re describing morality as a concrete in existence. I am saying it is an abstract “ideal” to which many individuals hold themselves. You are saying the good/evil exist and that people go out, grab it and do it. I’m saying people commit actions and then are labeled good/evil. As for your comment about dads/sons fighting each other, I say so what? You come across A man laughing evilly at forcing a father and son to fight each other. You condemn the evilly laughing man as evil. Why? You assume that he’s doing this for no reason. For all you know, this father forced the evil laughing man to suffer the same fate as a child and now he’s getting revenge by doing the same. I would to instantaneously judge, I would try to ascertain facts first, and then judge.

  • AK

    didnt lucas change it from revenge of the jedi to return of the jedi because some other movie was using the word revenge? that, and i personally think revenge is a negative connotation; if being a jedi is positive, return is more fitting. PIZZA ROLLS PLEASE

  • Wayne Farrell

    The Millennium Falcon is in the movie Mr Plinkett! You just aint looking hard enough old bean.

  • Alex Lee

    I think the Kaminoan tells Obi-Wan about the docility when he’s on the tour of the facility.

    The Arc trooper stuff, that’s definitely EU.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    That’s about 10 minutes into the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead. While I wasn’t a big fan of the rest of the movie, at the time I did think the intro up to and including the opening credits was pretty cool.

  • Anthony D.

    The bit with the phone at the end of Part 1 gets me every time. The way Mike says “Oh” is so funny.

  • http://people.ign.com/gameguy523 Anthony (Gameguy)

    So of course this review is incredible, and it nails pretty much everything wrong with the film, but does anyone ever wonder if Mike and the gang have seen The Clone Wars Animated show? I personally feel it rights so many wrongs and tells the story in a way that it should have been.

    • HardscrabbleHammer

      The point he tried to make several times during these reviews is that it’s not okay to rely on outside media to explain things within the films. If they were properly written and directed, you would not neeed reems of comics and cartoons for the movie to make sense.

      • http://people.ign.com/gameguy523 Anthony (Gameguy)

        Clone Wars in no way redeems the movies in my opinion. It just tells the story the way it should have been :)

  • FearAndSlothing

    • The Willard

      Six

    • StopThinkingBrainUrGoingToHurt

      I can’t wait for the prequel trilogy special edition too!

      • cass

        You mean the ones with Jar Jar digitally removed?

  • Eyechild

    These reviews are some of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long while, and almost (almost) make me glad these awful films exist. Which is something, I guess.

  • Eyechild

    I’d seen the first and last ones when they came out, but had missed AOTC; so this Christmas, whilst in a alcohol and food induced fugue on Boxing Day (December 26th) I started watching it at my folks, on TV.

    Suffice to say: I didn’t get through it all. These films – and in particular that one I think – are so far beyond boring, that the light from ‘boring’ will probably take several million years to reach them.

    As you say though, I am mesmerised by how *insanely* bad they are. Why and/or how do they exist?

  • Eitan Zohar

    I grew more and more enraged as I rewatched this. Take out the
    nerve-wracking background music you fvck. It was fine the way it was. It’s like George Lucas made these reviews.

  • Miguel Angel Teran

    it felt like a documentary, this should had a cinematic release.

  • Krusty Burglar

    These are some of the funniest reviews I have ever seen. The only disagreement i had with this one is his bit about reusing stuff from past movies. Some of them weren’t really THAT similar. Other than that, though, I loved this.

  • http://www.hiddencamstudios.co.uk Cameron T. Devlin

    God, it’s such a pleasure to watch you destroy these terrible films. Your ability to pick apart these details is genuinely inspiring, your knowledge and understanding of the medium beyond compare. Even as someone who has no interest in films in general beyond “am I entertained?”. I went to see this film when it came out, and after seeing the first 2 crapfests I certainly did feel like this was the best of the lot, but clearly I wasn’t engaging my mind enough. But then hey, what do I know? I still think Generations is the best of the TNG movies. :)

    • http://www.hiddencamstudios.co.uk Cameron T. Devlin

      My god, and when you reveal the editing details about the old films… incredible to think either how much Lucas has lost by gaining money… or perhaps how much he gained by having the right people around him. Even the clips you show of him all young and idealised, he looks fucking clueless.

  • Jason

    Between the prequels and the special edition “improvements” to the originals, it’s become painfully clear that Lucas was not the creator of Star Wars, it was a collaborative effort, with Jorge bringing up the rear, just ahead of the caterers and behind the grips.
    Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Richard Chew, Roger Christian, Dianne Crittenden, John Williams, Irvin Kershner, Leigh Brackett, Lawrence Kasdan all understand the Star Wars universe better than Lucas and deserve the lion’s share of the credit for its creation. Lucas just had a general, vague idea of what he wanted–a throw-back space adventure–it was all those other people that made it into Star Wars.

  • Ordinary Quetch

    Since Lucas likes to take ideas from other movies, the final showdown between Obi-Wan and Anakin should have been based on either this:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv9rhC2q8zs

    (but with less blood)

    or this
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27M5KWI_q50

    (but with less blood)

    • Alex Lee

      I would say the second one works better on film because it takes more time, which again makes me wonder if Nick Gillard gave a shit. He has the training to make the lightsaber fights more realistic, more tense, but he doesn’t do so. Maybe it was Lucas saying that everything needs to be in constant motion, but I don’t know.

      • Alex Lee

        Don’t get me wrong, I like Yojimbo and to a lesser extent Sanjuro, but the whole one hit kill scene would be seen as anticlimatic to modern audiences.

        • http://www.google.net Kenny

          Just keep shoving popcorn in your faces!

          • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

            George Lucas speaks:

            “Popcorn pictures have always ruled. Why do people go see them? Why is the public so stupid? That’s not my fault.”

            (Regarding plot issues in Return of the Jedi) Lucas’s response to these criticisms was typical: “Well, if we have enough action, nobody will notice.”

    • cass

      Qui Gon Jinn vs. Mr. Orange

  • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

    So basically the prequels wanted to tell the story of how a bad guy in a dumb helmet and cape and an older mentor used to be good friends, and how the bad guy actually used to be this heroic person, but then ultimately chose the path of evil. And how their friendship somehow managed to remain in their hearts even after that.

    There’s a movie that does pretty much that, and it’s called X-Men: First Class. Now I know a lot of people don’t like it, but it pretty much does what the prequels set out to do, and it does it convincingly. You can understand why Erik became Magneto, and you can believe he and Xavier were good friends. You can believe Magneto really feels pain when things come to a head and he and Xavier follow different and enemical paths. And you can believe the sence of regret and loss in their relationship as enemies decades later.

    And it does that while having a whole other plot going on and a bunch of other characters. It just makes it seem like it’s not that complicated if you know what you’re doing.

    • Patrick

      Who doesn’t like First Class?

  • Wesley Sharer

    Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the Millenium Falcon is actually in episode 3: http://www.eeggs.com/images/items/3965.full.jpg

    • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

      That’s not true! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    • Pissernacht

      Hehehe. Hey, guys! You know, that could be any old extremely modified Corellian Freighter of the YT-1300 series!



      …yeah, I’m not buying that either. Fuck. Just, fuck.

      • diehounderdoggen

        I’m kind of amused by the fact that the EU paints the YT-1300 as an unassuming and generic light freighter, but the only one we ever see (in the movies at least) is the Falcon.

        • Pissernacht

          You know, now I want to see a Star Wars movie that is just about some guy. He just works (down at the docks) loading and unloading cargo on all the freighters it takes to keep space civilization going. What is his life like?

          I’d also enjoy seeing that in a Star Trek movie too…

          Both have big galaxies and all we ever do is see wars and doomsday plots…it’s gotten stale. Let’s just see what the man on the street has to deal with?

          • diehounderdoggen

            So, Clerks. BUT IN SPAAAAACE! Like it just documents the way a couple alien stoner/slacker types deal with running some podunk refueling station in the middle of nowhere in the midst of a conflict they have no hope of fully understanding or influencing in any way for absurdity yuks.

          • Pissernacht

            That, that sounds like the perfect film!

            You have a gift, my friend. Mere men like me can only hope you use your powers for good!

            But seriously, that sounds like the distillation of all of my favorite episodes of sci-fi shows. The ones where we follow the starship’s regular crewmen or the station’s janitors while the usual cast run around, barking orders and avoid eye contact with the “nobodies.”

          • diehounderdoggen

            Oh gosh. :3c

          • cass

            The first thing I thought of was the beginning of Red Dwarf.

          • bruce wayne

            In fact that’d make the ideal premise for a SW reality show. “Behind the Lines,” or how about “Droid Dynasty.” Me thinks you’re on to something here my good man.

          • shadow_yuki

            That’s something they actually discussed on the Cracked Podcast talking about Disney owning Star Wars and how they might make it not suck if they just use Star Wars as a set piece to tell normal, human stories (but awesome, and in space). Which is really what the Original trilogy was.

            I miss loving Star Wars, but now I’m just fucking depressed….

  • jimmy

    I will throw money at you if you review the Star Wars: The Clone Wars film.

    • Pissernacht

      With all honesty, all that needs to be said is that it was going to be the first three episodes of a Cartoon Network show and, after they were made, the G-man basically said; “Lets sell these as a fuckin’ movie instead! Cha-Ching!”

      Deacon’s Hell, it’s even structured like three half-hour episodes, complete with their own story arcs and awkward transitions in-between. I have to say, I don’t know what else you’d need to hear…

      • Alex Lee

        Good thing the rest of the series stayed as a TV show.
        And that 6th season…it does a pretty good job as an episode 3 patch.

        • Pissernacht

          True, true. But I’ll tell you what; we need to find whoever was writing all of those episodes that follow just the clones and have them write a screenplay.

          Some of those clone-centric episodes still give me excited shivers.

          • Alex Lee

            Ironically, the clones are more human in the TV show than anyone in the movies.

      • jimmy

        I want to hear a Plinkett review of it. Yes, it’s a long backdoor-pilot, but it is just riddled with problems. I highly doubt they’d make one of it though.

        • Pissernacht

          Alright, I’ll grant you that. It’s just that when I first saw that film the friend I was with said after the first half-hour mark transition; “I feel like it’s already over!”

          He was completely right too, since it wasn’t a movie but three episodes smushed together. That in and of itself was a middle finger in our faces.

          Damn shame too, since it did have some neat set-pieces and plot points in play.

          • Alex Lee

            The only thing I remember about that movie was that I fell asleep during it, and that Ashoka’s existence completely contradicts the reason why Anakin can’t be a master, because all that’s needed to be considered a master is to have a padawan.

  • Alex Lee

    That’s definitely the case with Kurosawa, but my point was that modern audiences i.e. popcorn eating masses, would go see it and say, “That’s it?! I wanted an awesome swordfight!”

  • Alex Lee

    Another semi-cool idea would be if the Seperatists had cloned Jedi, made from the medical records of the original Jedi. We’d have all those massive lightsaber fights that Lucas wants to have and it’d make sense for the war to be at a standstill. We could also get some dialog about how the genetic engineering is a perversion of nature.

    I admit the idea’s cheesy and uses midiclorians as an actual plot device for the entire trilogy, but it’d be more believable than an army that doesn’t really have Jedi be equal to an army that has a lot of Jedi.

    • Pissernacht

      Plus, it could also make good on the Expanded Universe’s allusions to the clone wars involving “perversions of nature.”

      Besides, I find it hard to believe the separatists went along with a war against a galactic power whose principle guardians could tear through their own main military formations “like butter.”

      At any rate, cloned Jedi? That’s not cheesy, that’s fucking awesome!

    • diehounderdoggen

      I actually daydreamed something similar a while back, except it involved using mass produced Sith holocrons as a weird dark side power source for the clones or maybe a how-to guide for aspiring Sith alchemists.

  • Akeuw

    Starving African kids in Cambodia?

    • famousmortimer

      THAT’S THE JOKE

      • Akeuw

        Let me tell you a joke.

        Africans.

  • Thanatos2k

    So I need to know. Is the Johnny that Plinkett adopted from a grocery store parking lot the same Johnny he always tells to hit the music, and then dies of colorectal cancer? Or is that a different Johnny?

  • Ian Hopkins

    Fun EU fact time!

    Regarding #2, the Sith are actually the ones responsible for most of the technological leaps in lightsaber technology, including the saberstaff and synthetic crystals. Then the Rule of Two was created, and they realized a big beam of glowy red plasma is KINDA a dead giveaway.

  • Comatose

    Regarding the ‘Dropped my Lightsaber’ reaction shots – By the time of the Mace WIndu/Palpatine fight, I was so conditioned to expect this shot that I thought something was wrong when it DIDN’T cut to a shot of Palpatine dropping his, like he was gonna bust it out when Samuel wasn’t expecting it or that it was an error.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Ahh, yes, the Episode III review. I remember watching this years ago when it first came out, all 111 minutes of it.

    That was the longest I had ever had an erection in my life at the time. Just something about bashing these awful moopies gets me so hot and hor-PART 2.

  • Comatose

    So I had a thought this morning about how to make Padme an interesting character and contributor to the plot in episode 3.

    So in Return of the Jedi, Luke asks Leia about her ‘real mother’, and Leia tells him that she died was she was very young and was always sad. This is kind of contradicted in Episode 3 when Padme magically dies of a lonely heart minutes after childbirth.

    So going with the idea that the prequel trilogy was structured differently, with Anakin’s turn at the end of Episode 2, you could have built a whole plot around Padme and her children. Obiwan’s dialog in ‘Jedi’, combined with Leia’s story about her, implies that at some point Padme was forced to separate her children for their own protection and decide which one to keep with her and which one to send away.

    A mother agonizing over this decision and eventually having to face the consequences over the course of the film would have been more emotionally involving and ultimately heartbreaking than an inexplicable murder by pregnancy.

    • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

      To be fair, I think Leia was referring to her adoptive mother from Alderann, as she didn’t know she and Luke were related yet.

      • Comatose

        Maybe. It seems overly convoluted that she would have a second adoptive mother that she would think is her ‘real mother’.

      • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

        I respectfully disagree. I think in context, the original dialogue is meant to be Leia talking about her biological mother (and thus, also Luke’s mother).

        • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

          Really? I thought even in the original trilogy, they mentioned that Organas adopted her. I probably misremembered.

          • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

            Now I’m confused. I guess I’d have to rewatch it, but that does sound familiar while, at the same time, I also don’t remember that at all…

      • Clive Seddon

        I thought the point of Luke asking Leia about her mother was that he was secretly trying to get info about his mother, which is the same person, unbeknownst to Leia.

        • Comatose

          Yeah, but the important part of that dialog was Luke being very specific about it being Leia’s ‘real’ mother, and the scene as written and filmed clearly implied that the woman Leia talked about was in fact her and Luke’s ‘real’ mother. To assume that it was a convoluted situation where Leia had an adoptive mother she knew about, and then another adoptive mother that she believed to be her ‘real’ mother, sounds like fanboy retconning.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    I was about to say the same thing. Eh, it’s far enough away from the camera that it probably managed to avoid most of the dangerous, radioactive sludge surrounding the set.

  • Jack P. Coleman

    Here’s an idea for how Anakin’s arc may have been done better: Anakin, a semi-meek, family-oriented Jedi who is insanely talented but afraid of going too far in the use of his Force powers, is torn between his loyalty to his family and order and his obligation as a citizen to join the war effort. Therefore, he creates a persona he calls “Darth Vader” (Darth is not a Sith moniker, and Vader is ultimately only a dark Jedi), who is a mysterious, Heisenberg-esque badass who aids the conscripted Republic forces agains the evil Sith clone armies. Gradually, the line between the kindly, good-natured Anakin and the ruthless, inhuman Lord Vader blurs, estranging his now-pregnant wife and mentor/friend Obi-wan. Palpatine, who has steadily been gaining political power and is deeply versed in the ways of the Dark Side of the Force, secretly corners Vader and recruits him and promises future security and deeper Force education in exchange for acting as an enforcer for the Empire he’s plotting. It’s engaging, allows for exciting, Batman Begins-esque action, and it makes for a tragic character arc.

    • Alex Lee

      Or he just calls himself “Vader” and he gets the Darth title later when he chooses to become a tool, seeing as how that’s the climax of your story.

  • Alex Lee

    Speaking of the ending confrontation in Jedi, I think it would be worth it just to see Luke become a Sith Lord, even if it makes absolutely no sense at all.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agcc7w8YmHo&list=FLAH4WnAPq5Ps4pqQoI7hgzw&index=2

  • Lat

    I don’t remember a single one to be honest.

  • http://www.meatspin.com JudgeDredd

    Agreed that the emperor is the greatest character in the prequels he really does seem like he’s just having an absolute blast in his villainy.

  • son of pluto

    True, those films both have very impressive “single shot” scenes, though they both used editing to accomplish them and heavily in Gravity’s case. TD’s scene is built to so perfectly throughout the first 4 episodes and is actually one continuous take.

  • Simmol

    You are right for sword fights not last long, but 50 pounds swords … i can not call it even exaggeration it is just impossible :)

    The heaviest swords Zweihander (two hand swords) are around 5 pounds :) When we talk about actual swords that are worn and used we are talking for 2.5 (Single hand swords) to 3 pounds top (for Long-sword – hand and half sword).

    I don’t know why people believe that myth for how heavy the weapons are … Try swing a Baseball bat for like 5 minutes and then tell me you’re not tired ;)

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