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I’m writing my BA paper on Star Wars….this stuff helps! thanks for makin these vids!
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Speaking of “lifeless” the reviews here are excellent.
a good thing to do in life “active” is punching the face of idiots using cosplay starwars.
‘ve done this several times with my brothers! i recomend!
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I have viewed your review, i muat say i don’t agree with your synopsis of the video. i agree that the ‘Phantom Menace’ has its faults and flaws but its obvious that you grew up with the original three movies and have a closed opinion on the newer ones as most star wars fanboys have
I was born in the 90′s, and was about 8 or 9 years old when I first saw this film, and I’m going to be honest, I didn’t know what the hell was going on, and I certainly don’t know now. It is the most confusing and pointless of the Star Wars films. Is it entertaining? Yes, at time. But mostly it’s just complete shit compared to the simplicity, originality, and development the original trilogy had. Everything this guy said was completely valid, regardless of which films you prefer. I personally like this film, but for illogical reasons. This movie is bad. This is the worst Star Wars movie. Those are facts he has just proven.
I agree with your point that he seems like he loved the originals too much, but a lot of it was pretty pointless, but overall, I love all of the films, it’s more than a story, it’s a legend and everyone that picks on it in WAY TOO MUCH DETAIL, isn’t aware that George Lucas made it the way he wanted to, and now he’d got billions lol so, good point bro or sis haha
You better get out before Plinkett explains to you “how much of a fucking idiot you are.” He gets pretty murderous when he explains things.
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The security chief says their security volunteers (which makes them sound like mall cops or concert bouncers—these are the people in charge of protecting the Queen and the rest of the planet?) would be no match against…”a battle-hardened Federation army”?
What? When the big final battle takes place, they’re almost entirely fighting regiments of DROIDS. The term “battle-hardened” refers to someone who has been through numerous wars and conflicts and has had their sensitivities, resilience, and training steeled over as a result. Usually this person is pretty valuable in a fight. “Battle-hardened” would be appropriate if you were referring to like, a human, or some other type of carbon-based life form that could experience things like fear, pain, or emotion. But these are FUCKING ROBOTS. The most “life-like” thing they do is say “Roger, roger” back to the giant computer that probably controls them. They’re not the fucking Uruk-hai.
Besides, from the way the Jedi cut these things in half by the dozen, I’d say they’re pretty expendable…not valuable. They’re like cheap plastic toys that all look the same (cue “We’re in the money” music). As soon as one gets demolished it just gets replaced by another on that looks exactly the same and has the same orders. They don’t need to be “battle-hardened” from numerous conflicts.
Technically the Uruk-Hai were made right before Helms deep… meaning they weren’t battle-hardened either…
At least, that’s my recollection…
the Uruk-Hai were active in the events of the first book where they attack the fellowship and kill Boromir. They also spent a good deal of time fighting small bands of Rohirim and raiding settlements. So they were not wholly untested, but neither had they faced determined resistance (with out most of them being killed)
Same as what Jackson C said, but also the Uruk-hai were at least competently “programmed” so to speak. I don’t even know how the Trade Federation is profitable, considering how many resources they must go through to churn out so many cheap, crap fighting droids.
I think there might have been an earlier draft where it’s explained that the Trade Federation is an alliance of the most wealthy planets, and the Sith are manipulating them through their greed to destroy the Republic from within, and Padme is a threat because she’s trying to make a counter-alliance. This would explain their name, their robot armies, and their desire to kill Padme.
That… probably would have been useful to mention in the movie.
The Uruk_Hai’s uncanny fighting ability can at least be explained away through magic, because Tolkien was never stupid enough to make it work via microbes.
Maybe they are saying that the steel that the droids are made out of has been hardened to optimal battle specs thus making them “battle-hardened”.
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My blip just glitched in the best way possible. When R2D2 stuck “a thing in a thing” the video glithched out and skipped around wildly. R2, you dolt, you broke the video!
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Incredible quality of analysis and production in this video, but why I like it is that it’s fucking funny.
How long do these take to produce? Do you have a big staff to help gather the material and edit it?
The guy who does these reviews is the biggest idiot in the history of the universe!!!
Anyone who agrees with this guy is an even bigger idiot!!!
A bigger idiot than you? What a conundrum.
Anyone who agrees with this guy is an even bigger idiot!!! If he badmouths Star Wars: The Clone Wars, he’s dead, double time, no wait, make that quadrople time!
which the painfully terrible tv series or the animated film that got 19 percent http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/clone_wars/
Why calling “the French Revolution” the invasion of France by the nazis during World War 2? I sincerely don’t get it :S
Just like how Russia siting nuclear warheads on Cuba was the story of World War One? The joke is he’s deliberately getting the names of historical events wrong, you fucking idiot.
Nobody’s saying there wasn’t a blockade in World War 1, it’s just that the joke was self-evidently about confusing historical event to someone who took even the smallest second to ponder it.
The point is just, so you’re still a fucking idiot for not thinking things through before you committed yourself to a full-on comment on the Internet.
1. When you have a story that can’t really hold up to a complicated scrutiny of plot details like SW (as opposed to Star Trek which can work as a nerd niche), you really have to focus on universal elements of storytelling and visuals, you can’t just have a bunch of mindless logistical dialogue that creates all these new rules. That’s why this is ‘Fantasy in space’ as opposed to sci-fi; it’s supposed to be fucking universal and accessible!!!
2. Anakin should have been the Luke of the prequels, starting ep1 the same age as Luke in epIV. Lucas could have just aped the sequels and no one would have faulted him. No one wanted Godfather here, just SW. Making the character of Anakin switch actors 33% of the way through the trilogy is absolutely mind boggling; obviously the reasoning was,” Now it gots a little kid!” The closest I can get to identifying a protagonist in this mess is
ep1: Obiwan, Qui-gon, and Anakin are ALL the protagonist.
ep2: Obiwan and Anakin are both the protagonist.
ep3: Anakin is the Protagonist
3. Anakin and Obiwan’s friendship doesn’t make very much sense due to their age difference of… I’ll say at least 10 years. Actually the way these movies work it’s almost as if Anakin catches up in age to Obiwan.
This movie is 13 years old and I still can’t forget how much of a clusterfuck it was.
Am I the only one slightly put off by the fact that Padme seems about three times Annakin’s age in the first movie, yet by the third Anakin seems slightly older?
Yeah that is fucked up. I think she’s supposed to be like seven, eight, or nine years older. I always thought she was a bit of a cougar. But what you pointed out makes no sense.
Apparently you missed the big *IF* right before that statement.
The prequels are such a colossal failure because they lack the most basic elements that make a movie worth watching. It lacks characters and a coherent story. It’s as if they took all the old star wars staples and ELECTROFIED them. They didn’t bother with a story or characters. It’s totally obvious.
I’m not a writer and I could have made a better story. Here’s something just off the top of my head. It wouldn’t be that hard to do and it ties up the story nicely to coincide with the start of A New Hope.
Obiwan is a younger, more hotheaded Jedi than in the original trilogy. He finds Anakin and wants to train him because he senses his potential with the Force. When he asks the permission of the Jedi council they deny him the opportunity, so he trains him in secret. Yoda finds out that Obiwan is secretly training Anakin and has Anakin brought into the Jedi order so Obiwan doesn’t get into trouble.
Anakin advances through his training quickly. He becomes more and more powerful, but he’s reckless and prone to giving in to his emotions. The council is wary of this and slows his training and ascent through the ranks. Anakin starts to become impatient with the council always doubting him. He believes they’re jealous and scared of his true potential. Palpatine talks to Anakin, tells him that there is another group that uses the Force that would allow him to advance much quicker and to attain even greater power with the Force.
Anakin slowly turns to the dark side becoming more and more distant to the Jedi order. Obiwan realizes this and eventually finds out that Anakin is consorting with a Sith lord. He eventually confronts Anakin and duels him in an effort to stop him. Obiwan wins the duel but can’t bring himself to kill Anakin. Instead he leaves him severely maimed, hoping that this will stop his quest for power. This is where Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Filled with hatred for the Jedi, particularly his old friend Obiwan, he works with Palpatine to eliminate the Jedi council (as they’re the only group that has any real power to oppose him).
All the Jedi are hunted down and eliminated, only a few manage to escape. Obiwan takes baby Luke and heads off to Tatooine, leaving baby Leia to the Organas on Alderaan. He does this out of fear that Darth Vader’s children would be equally as powerful with the Force and that they’d be corrupted to the dark side. He goes into hiding on Tatooine so he can watch Luke while avoiding being killed in the ensuing hunt for the remaining Jedi. He also hides out of shame for having brought the end of the Jedi order, which had existed for thousands of generations. Yoda flees to Dagobah because he fears the Jedi order is destroyed and there is nothing else he can do to change that.
Fill that basic outline with scenes depicting Obiwan and Anakin going through adventures and you’d have a much better trilogy.
Your alternative is generic and highly cliche, but coherent and understandable. At its core, Lucas’ script for Episodes I, II, and III is very much the same. It’s generic and not particularly clever, but it’s coherent. Think about it; if I simplified the story to its most basic elements, we’d get something that sounds as palatable as your own proposal.
Obi Wan is a young, somewhat impulsive Jedi being mentored by Li’emni Sohn, a powerful Jedi master. While traveling a barren desert world they stumble across a young boy named Anakin whose innate potential with the force is so great that it astonishes both of them. Obi-Wan senses that he is destined for great things and covets the chance to be the one who trains him, allowing his desire to do so to cloud his normally sound judgment.
The young Anakin grows in power but as he enters his tumultuous adolescence he chafes under what he feels is the oppression of the Jedi order. At the core of his rebellion is a disagreement; the Jedi Order demands that its adherents master and suppress their emotion, because failure to do so has led Jedi in the past to wield their power to do horrible things in pursuit of their passions. Anakin does not understand this and wouldn’t agree with it even if he did. All he sees is that the order is trying to keep him from the woman he loves passionately. He carries on his quiet rebellion out of the sights of the Jedi order. Some of the higher-ups know, but keep their eyes half-shut, because on some level they feel the code is too strict, as well.
Anakin grows in power and begins to perceive new subtleties in the force. One day, tapping deeply into it, he has a vision that terrifies him, of his beautiful wife dying. He refuses to accept that this is true. He fights to try to find a way around it. Everything he knows about the force suggests that what he’s seen is unavoidable. Finally, he’s faced with a choice; accept that his wife has to die, or throw away every shred of the things he’s been taught in a desperate bid that on the other side of the force, the side he’s been taught is evil, there may be an answer for him. Meanwhile, on the other side, a very powerful and intelligent evil sees this and senses an opportunity to turn one of the most powerful Jedi ever produced into his loyal servant. All he has to do is lie and tell the young man that on the dark side, there really IS a way to save his wife. And so Anikin allows himself to be corrupted, and by the time he realizes what is happening, he’s too late to change what he’s become, or the horrible things he has done. He wakes to find he’s a slave to a new master.
Fill that basic outline with scenes depicting Obiwan and Anakin going through adventures and you’d have a pretty decent trilogy… or, well, you might. The problem is not the basic plot idea that Lucas used. The problem is how he fleshed it out. He took the simple, central narrative of the first three episodes, which could have been brilliant in the hands of somebody who cared about things like logic and coherency, and buried it under several layers of shit, neglect, and bad acting. He made no apparent effort to screen it for internal contradictions, apparently never asked himself if the characters were believable, and didn’t bother to go out of his way to bring a great performance out of the actors. And he did this because he is, at hart, an effects man. He loves graphics. He wanted to build a wonderful and complex world, and to use computer graphics to create a visual cinematic experience that was like nothing seen before. And he did that, and brilliantly. But in his rush to do that, he thought he could get away with neglecting the other half of the movie–the story that ties it all together. And that’s where he fell apart, and why I hate the first trilogy so much. Anakin’s desperate battle against fate isn’t the problem. It’s that Lucas makes him act so insipid and stupid that the audience feels he turned to the dark side because he was a whiny man-bitch, and not because he was a desperate and brilliant Jedi who was, at heart, just a boy trying to save the girl he loved. Lucas didn’t treat a single plot idea he had with the respect it deserved. And he (and the rest of us) paid for it.
The whole “quite rebellion” is not exactly a very good idea, because being different is permitted to some point. It’s never said in the movies, but as I vaguely remember from the books Qui Gon Jinn was a bit of rebel himself and often disagreed with Jedi council. In fact that’s why he wore a long hair (which supposedly is prohibited by the Jedi code or something).
I like your alternative. It’s a bit generic, (and I don’t mean that in a rude way), and predicated on the idea that Anakin was kind of rotten to begin with, but it’s coherent and I think that you’re absolutely right that it would have made a good framework for the first three episodes, if it was treated properly. I get the feeling that Lucas wanted to play up the tragic hero angle, and that’s why he went the direction he did.
But I do disagree with you about one strong point. I don’t think that the problem with Star Wars I, II, and III is the central narrative. At its core, Lucas’ script for Episodes I, II, and III is very much the same as your own. It’s coherent and understandable and could serve as the basis for a great film, but only if treated properly. Think about it; if I simplified the story to its most basic elements, we’d get something that sounds as palatable as your own proposal. Something like this:
“Obi Wan is a young, somewhat impulsive Jedi being mentored by Li’emni Sohn, a powerful Jedi master. While traveling a barren desert world they stumble across a young boy named Anakin whose innate potential with the force is so great that it astonishes both of them. Obi-Wan senses that he is destined for great things and covets the chance to be the one who trains him, allowing his desire to do so to cloud his normally sound judgment.
Anakin grows in power and begins to perceive new subtleties in the force. One day, tapping deeply into it, he has a vision that terrifies him, of his beautiful wife dying. He refuses to accept that this is true. He fights to try to find a way around it. Everything he knows about the force suggests that what he’s seen is unavoidable. Finally, he’s faced with a choice; accept that his wife has to die, or throw away every shred of the things he’s been taught in a desperate bid that on the other side of the force, the side he’s been taught is evil, there may be an answer for him. Meanwhile, on the other side, a very powerful and intelligent evil sees this and senses an opportunity to turn one of the most powerful Jedi ever produced into his loyal servant. All he has to do is lie and tell the young man that on the dark side, there really IS a way to save his wife. And so Anikin allows himself to be corrupted, and by the time he realizes what is happening, he’s too late to change what he’s become, or the horrible things he has done. He wakes to find he’s a slave to a new master.”
Fill that basic outline with scenes depicting Obi-Wan and Anakin going through adventures and you’d have a pretty decent trilogy… or, well, you might. The problem is not the basic plot idea that Lucas used. The problem is how he fleshed it out. He took the simple, central narrative of the first three episodes, which could have been brilliant in the hands of somebody who cared about things like logic and coherency, and buried it under several layers of shit, neglect, and bad acting. He made no apparent effort to screen it for internal contradictions, apparently never asked himself if the characters were believable, and didn’t bother to go out of his way to bring a great performance out of the actors. And he did this because he is, at heart, an effects man. He loves graphics. He wanted to build a wonderful and complex world, and to use computer graphics to create a visual cinematic experience that was like nothing seen before. And he did that, and brilliantly. But in his rush to do that, he thought he could get away with neglecting the other half of the movie–the story that ties it all together. And that’s where he fell apart, and why I hate the first trilogy so much. Anakin’s desperate battle against fate isn’t the problem. It’s that Lucas makes him act so insipid and stupid that the audience feels he turned to the dark side because he was a whiny man-bitch, and not because he was a desperate and brilliant Jedi who was, at heart, just a boy trying to save the girl he loved. Lucas didn’t treat a single plot idea he had with the respect it deserved. He didn’t treat a single character with the respect they deserved. And he (and the rest of us) paid for it.
Think about your own idea for a moment. Would you have trusted Lucas with that idea, if you knew he was going to give your basic narrative the same treatment that he did to his own? The same insipid characters, poor acting, contrived motivations and situations?
Lucas has a very poor track record with movies. Plinkett says that
Lucas gets too much credit for Star Wars and I agree. I wouldn’t trust
Lucas with any movie if I wanted it to be more than eye candy.
could say my idea for the story is similar to his, but he doesn’t tell
the story very well at all. So it’s hard to tell if it’s actually
similar or not. It’s as if he added in so much crap because he wanted
it to be epic. It became convoluted and bogged down with meaningless
scenes. The first sequel could be thrown out entirely and it wouldn’t
change the story at all. That is the problem.
He told a story
that could fill one movie, spread it over three, and filled the void
with pointless action and visuals. But when he filled the void he
watered down the story so that it is hard to follow and understand.
what I don’t get is how Anakin is the most powerful Jedi but he is not as powerful as the Emperor or Starkiller. It’s like he’s a basic sith.
Well, if you accept that Anakin only fell because he saw no way to save the woman he loves as a jedi, it’s possible his nature was always more good than evil, thus limiting his darkside force output
In theory that’s a possibility, but watching Episodes 2 and 3, do you actually get even the tiniest inkling that his nature was *ever* more good than evil. I remember even shortly after watching Attack of the Clones – and I actually liked the prequels when I was younger – my thoughts were, “huh? I didn’t think he was supposed to fall to the dark side until next movie”.
Good point, but none of the Jedi really act like they should in the prequels, so, let’s just say it’s bad writing and be done with it
It’s because Lucas don’t think of the star wars universe like we do. We perceived it mostly trough games, comic books and the new movies, where the force/training level of the characters matter. But in reality, in the original trilogy your power level didn’t matter so much as the motivation for your character. That’s why they send a vulnerable princess in disguise to jaba’s lair first instead of sending the jedi knight to fuck everyone up and steal Solo’s tablet. I think the new movies should be directed at the new audience, because the old themes from the original trilogy would certainly alienate us more logic and action-craving people and the usual moviegoing nowadays audience. It would be a sure hit. I hope J.J. Abrahams does something like that, but with great streamlined character development and emotion his work is known for.
The actors were not the problem. They did what they could with what little they had. Also your assessment that a story’s basic outline is generic is meaningless. At this point every story is essentially generic at its core. The uniqueness doesnt come from the basic outline. It comes from maybe the setting, the dialogue, or the characters themselves. There are no new stories anymore and there never will be. All thats left is stories with the same basic premises with an interesting twist in one of the things I mentioned.
Nice idea, where did Anakin’s kids come from though?
If Jedi aren’t allowed to love, then how do they have kids
Sex does not require love. Although I personally recommend it.
Doubt Mr. Plinkett would.
Interesting approach. I would not start Episode I with Obi Wan as a Jedi. I would reach back further to his line in to Yoda in ‘Empire Strikes Back’ – ‘Was I any different when you taught me?’ We have thus established that Yoda taught Obi Wan to be a Jedi. Why abandon that? Episode I should have been about Yoda discovering Obi Wan and training him to become a Jedi. Then the Emperor tempts him with the Dark Side and he refuses. Or something, as long as your fill out Obi Wan’s backstory. But keep the focus on the core characters without introducing all the static.
Wow, thats almost like what actually happened. You, no doubt, have the gift of delusions of grandeur. Get a grip jackass.
i laughed at all the people who didnt get the joke.
there wasn’t a joke….I wonder what you think you’re laughing at
So I look at my clock on the bottom right of my screen as he says “Hey it’s 11:30 in the morning…” It’s 11:33 o..O
Yes, he’s a maverick to the point of doing unreasonable things. Even though he’s more contemplative. Brilliant analysis, Q.
I really like the three old movies because of the story and the great idea, but what captured my attention in the star wars saga was exactly what isn’t considered so good: the action. Although it does not fit well in the universe of star wars the paper of the action in the new trilogy is to attract the new audience making it justified. And what sabotages the new movies is the numbers of details that were tried to be put in the movie because of the lack of answers in the old trilogy. They put a lot of details because they needed not only to tell a new story but to explain an already existed one, this makes difficult to conceal and the problems are seen more easily. As a 17 years old nerd I would put the films in this order: worst – I, III, IV, II, V, VI -best. I would put this in my opinion (that nobody needs to share if you don’t will to) because of the action involved and the story.
And in the problems in the story appeared not only in the new trilogy, who would put a week point in a massive weapon like the death star?? Why there is a hole that take it to the reactor?? It doesn’t makes sense at all.
Harry S. Plinkett ia my father
PLEASE REVIEW RETURN OF THE JEDI!!
I know everyone refers to Star Wars as some immaculate and flawless trilogy of sci-fi perfection, but have any of you seen ROTJ recently?
Episode IV was breathtaking and revolutionary, Episode V picked up from where it left off and added an intensity the first was missing and delved deeper into the themes and characters Star Wars created, then Episode VI came along and fucked everything up.
You’ve done an excellent job of explaining why Episodes I-III are unbearable pieces of shit, so why omit Return of the Jedi? That movie is the worst of the OT by FAR and I’d argue the worst of the saga. The only reason an adult would enjoy that movie is if they saw it as a child and are incapable of viewing it objectively. All of the terrible qualities of the prequels are there. Go and give it a rewatch, I implore you.
I think the worst parts are the endless droning on in Luke and Vader’s lightsaber battle. It was trying to build suspense but it just got boring. And, also I don’t mind the ewoks as much as most, but they should have played a smaller role. That being said, the speeder chase in the forest was pretty cool. And what you said about seeing it as a kid, I saw both the old trilogy (on VHS, not the shitty remade DVD’s), and the prequels as a kid. Personally, I think that people give the prequels too much shit, and that they had too high of expectations going into it.
Also, my personal favorite is ESB. It is the most thoughtful, and conflicted one.
Great call. I have never liked ROTJ and I refuse to watch it. It’s horrible. New Hope was a good film with amazing, groundbreaking style. Empire was a GREAT film. Return of the Jedi was just the first of the awful last 4 films.
How ironic. Was about to watch this, when i see a Clone Wars animated series blueray commercial by dvdoo.com xD
So Disney have bought Lucasfilm and announced three more Star Wars movies.
Get your notebook ready Mike.
Guess what Disney is DMCA-ing next?
You were very biased in overcomplicating the pod race bet. It really wasn’t that complicated.
kamal from the jerky boys wants his kissel act back
My only gripe with this, the best review of this steaming pile of shit of a movie, is mo mention of Kurosawa, Godard, or Bergman : [ Might be shy an Italian or two. And I know he’s an acquired taste but esp. if your a painter – Greenaway’s movies are a visual candy shop. Since the Disney buyout and discussions about the next possible film, I’ve encountered some “thru the eyes of a child” apologists for this trope fest. Just needed a reminder that I wasn’t losing mind. This is a terrible movie and needs to be remembered as such. Besides Maul the only redeeming quality of PM is that comparatively, it makes the Ewoks bearable.
tropes are not bad.
*no mention of Kurosawa
Hahaha, this review is class.
bit of a cunty comment
Comedian Jim Norton’s response to this video, “I spent all night watching these reviews and I fucking howled laughing….”
This review was hilarious
I think I recognized the sound of Plinkett’s ‘gat’ as one of the weapons from the old Star Wars: Dark Forces PC game back in 1995.
Ok, so the blockade “rings” the planet… makes a ring around the planet (sorry, I’m not the native speaker). And as far as I understand one not gives a shit from which point on the planet they take off, cuz in space there’s no ups and downs.
So, why to go directly thought the blockade ring?? Go above it! 90 degrees above or below, right or up, get to a safe distance, plot your course, “engage!”
No? Ok. Shield generator it is then.
Or calculate the jump to hyperspace from inside the blockade, and then past at light speed. Piece of cake.
The only real use of three-dimensional space in the movies is Han Solo dropping down directly over the two-meter exhaust port to save Luke. If the Rebels had thought of that, they wouldn’t have had to spend so much time being shot at by the Death Star. Basically they unneccesarily sent ships, pilots and droids into a kill zone for several minutes before bothering to approach the target. Han earned his medal.
I always assumed they had to go down the trench because there were too many defense turrets along the surface to approach from that direction.
Oddly enough there were even turrets in the trench.
One of the best movie reviews ever made. Now, if you would only break Prometheus down… all the way to the mitochlorians.
Yea, they kind of had step 1) and lots of step 3), but step 2) was mostly skipped. Which essentially made them a bunch of mediocrity/awfulness in attractive sugar coating.
“What’s wrong with your faaace?” Plinkett needs to bring that back in another review.
Now I see what (who ) made Lucas sell his company to Disney. Nicely done!
im still a fan of the star wars prequels i cant wait to see episodes 7 8 and 9
but the irony is that even the special effects are not that good, the CGI looks really fake, for example terminator 2 (made 10 years before) had better special effects than episode 2; also the special effects are none near as ground braking as the original star wars
OK, so I used Shazam and nothing came up! What is the name of the song at the end of his reviews?
The fact that the droids get cut down like butter is only a problem if you look at TPM as a stand alone movie – and everyone in the audience knew they were seeing only 1/3rd of a trilogy.
1) the seeming superiority of the Jedi. What makes their eventual fall so dramatic is the destruction of their status as nearly invincible figures. This has to happen out of order from the original trilogy in order to make narrative sense. The Jedi start with power and lose to evil, rather than start as goodie underdogs. It’s OK that their primary opponents are incompetent in the first movie, since you’ve already accepted that you are in for a trilogy. Faulting this aspect of the first film after the whole trilogy was a failure is unfair.
2) The superiority of the clones versus droids. Ever wonder why the Empire would bother training and using live humans (or at least humanoids) under those stormtrooper outfits, rather than mass produce a bunch of robots? I certainly wondered that as a kid. This was actually a clever way to answer that question, by showing the incompetence and unreliability of the mass produced machine and eventual necessity of the mass produced cloned soldier.
3) Queens are more exciting than rooks. The lack of tension throughout the film was the result of mostly absent villains and a long drought of story spent on the silly pod race. What would a more competent droid army accomplish? The audience isn’t there to watch the conflict with the droids – they are there for the conflict with the Sith, the story of Luke and Leia’s birth, and Anakin’s descent into the Dark Side. The fact that very little of the story has any relevance to these conflicts is more damning than whether the droids were worthy adversaries.
Love the reviews!!! Just disagree on a few things.
You can rationalize it however you want, but I am 99.5% sure that Lucas was not thinking anything you said here, so those points of criticism are totally accurate.
I always thought the droids were the protagonists.. In all honesty i feel that way about all six movies..
The prequels are stylistically designed to be that way, but we can dimish the effects of it (not paying to see the movies).
I like the battel droide
There’s a conspiracy theory I heard that the whole reason George made the prequels is to show how shitty the old republic was. After the 6′th movie there was an invasion by a species that TURNS PLANETS INTO ORGANIC SHIPS IN A MATTER OF DAYS! If Palpatine knew this in advance then it’d be freaking genius to overthrow the republic to PROTECT IT. Jesus Christ look how retarded both the senate and the Jedi are in dealing with a bunch of fucking retarded droids. The Empire has trillions of troops and has a station that can BLOW UP motherfucking planets, ya know, ones that could’ve been turned into genocidal spaceships. But yeah, the sith are the bad guys, the rebellion just caused the genocides of a dozen or so species.
Such stupid reviews
It seems to me like what they should have done is not make the Jedi avoid romance, instead they should avoid politics. Like they could make Anakin secretly have a crush on Senator Padme who is organizing a counter-alliance against the Trade Federation and gets kidnapped by the apprentice Sith because Palpatine is backing the Trade Federation to destroy the Republic from within, so Anakin will agree to help the Republic save Padme using the alias ‘Darth Vader’ so the Jedi won’t know, but he’s not powerful enough to do it, and Palpatine is drawn by his Force and his immense rage and convinces him to become his apprentice with the promise of godlike power without realizing that this will result in the death of his other apprentice, and this causes Anakin to become Darth Vader permanently, and also married to Padme and worshipped by the Republic as their savior, so Palpatine decides to abandon the Trade Federation and use his new apprentice to weasel his way into the Republic, meanwhile the Jedi have figured out the Darth Vader thing by now and come to stop it but Anakin personally slaughters them all, except Yoda who’s too powerful and Obi-Wan who was the only Jedi he actually knew personally, but using that much Force in one battle nearly kills him so the Republic builds him the suit, and the two remaining Jedis flee and turn the Trade Federation into the Rebel Alliance, eventually joined by Padme who flees with her and Anakin’s kids when Palpatine turns the Republic into the Empire.
i think you can attribute that oversight to the fact that nobody gives a shit about maul. the only time he was ever cool was on the posters and shit before you saw the movie. it made you think he was going to be a cool bad guy and a part of the story, but it was just a bait and switch like sam jackson. potential isn’t really the word, because all maul is is a stuntman with spikes on his head.
too long, not gonna listen.
dear butthurt basement dweller: it helps to actually explain and rationalize your accusations and criticisms of a movie. not bring up a point and immediately cut away to some long winded rant that only serves to make fun of it, never once delivering any message or comparative reasoning to support your original point.
when you actually do manage to make a reasonable point, you fail to realize that it is just another COMMON movie fallacy. on this note, for every whining you have against TPM, I could find the same criticism in the original trilogy. it was full of just as many tropes and irrational decisions… the only difference is you choose to deny that out of fandom.
this isn’t any sort of a review, it’s an hour of you crying because you don’t like anything new. the mere fact you went into seeing this movie with an already preconceived notion that it was going to suck, should be reason enough to dismiss any possibility of sound criticism.
“too long, not gonna listen.”
That’s the mentality of a dumb child. No wonder you’re defending the prequels.
That check from Lucas Films clear yet?
Dear Plinkett reviewers:
You owe me money for underwear. If I continue to defecate myself while laughing at your fricken reviews, I will be forced to bring a class action law suit against you. In accordance with federal law, I am required to inform you that voicing opinions and clerical facts which are in direct opposition to the fan’s views of the prequel trilogy is deemed by myself to be peanut butter fucking hilarious. Please continue the great work.
Oh, and also….Vagina
That isn’t what “begging the question” means.
i have not laughed this much in a very very long time. my room mates actually came in wondering if i was ok. haha!
Omg I’m watching it again. All I have in my brain is mr plinket’s views.
would have worked a lot better if anakin just rose through the ranks of the jedi while dealing with the clone wars alongside obi wan, leaving the prequels on a high note and forcing us to fill in the blanks as far as his transition into darth vader. the clone wars could have been something a lot more emotional- like maybe the clones were all abominations created by a widowed scientist, trying to resurrect his lost love- they’re all mutated horrors and this causes the galactic senate to intervene- creating a WWI-esque conflict- the senate occupying planet after planet to continue their manhunt until the alliance fractures- with planets pointing fingers and forming ententes. war threatens to break out add ravage the galaxy, which all serves as a backdrop to the quest that obi and anakin embark on, hoping to find the scientist and pull the galaxy back from the brink. the scientist could even have been long dead by the time they find him- the victory of the jedi is incomplete and we’re left with a galaxy barely held together with tense, one-eye-open alliances.
Shield-generators in Starwars are located outside of the shield, just like the shield generator domes on top of the brigde of star destoyers.
Too bad, because if you really like good movies and good pulp science fiction, Empire is probably the most enjoyable — unless you really, really hate cliffhangers.
Nathan, the things you think are bad attributes were actually intentional for humorous effect. I’ll cut you some slack for hating the prequels, because they truly do suck giant AT-AT balls.
and then suddenly worf had a purple space bazooka
Either this ‘review’ is a joke or the author is…
Ewan McGregor played Obi-Wan.
Character Description; (Jinn) Wise, tempered and a great role model for initiates and full knights alike. Loyal and obedient not willing to deviate far from orders. (Ammadella) Dedicated, Kind hearted, brave and wise for her age. Not afraid to fight for her people or cause.
Wasn’t hard. Next time ask people that are not retarded.
Honestly, your point on the opening scene of No.4 is valid but otherwise you’re a whining fanboy. If you’re distracted by background things; up your ADHD medication…
“I don’t understand space stuff…” Really? Your lack of understanding is the fault of the film.
I found all three as enjoyable as the original trilogy, in some regards better, in some worse. You fanboys would never be happy with what ever is put out, so just stick on the original VHS and stop ‘reviewing’ shit; you’re ill equipped for such a task.
suck a fat cock you retarded fucking cum dumpster
Please review The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and tear that awful monument to mediocrity TO F*CKING SHREDS!
I asked for the same
wow, I never realized how bad this movie is.
I watched it in the theater with my parents back then when it came out and all i remembered was jar jar binks, pod racing and the final battle with the guy with double-bladed lightsaber…
And they made a 3d version of this??
At 23:09 of part 2 are they looking out a window or is that supposed to be a viewscreen? It looks like a window to me, but they are looking out it at an upward angle and seeing straight down into the street.
This is probably the most educational video ive ever watched
Remember when Jar Jar spits out that weird shovel headed salamander? The thing that I just remembered is why, He spits it out because he finds out how much it costs. How does a fucking moron from an insular society who has lived in the fucking woods alone for years understand the currency of a planet he probably hadn’t heard of before? He most likely has a very basic understanding of non gungan naboo culture if that. So yeah, very minor point but I’ve just been realising how little time goes by between stupid shit in this movie.
“What is it with Ricks?”
You forgot Santorum.
Oh, this is just great. A stupid review site full of nerdy stupid explanations trying to put some value to stupid flaws, just because they’re old.
Let’s just start once again the bullshit-counter job:
First of all, I’m not even start defending the script of Phantom Menace in general. It is a great movie with great story. I’ll just comment your reasons.
THE NEED OF A PROTAGONIST: the audience needs a protagonist? Who the hell told you that? You are bound to the past, where all action movies followed the very same linear structure, repeated over and over again due to lack of creativity. Only 1 person and his problems filling the whole picture.
The most stupid things on the older movies was the centering around Luke. Nobody knew shit about the rest of the galaxy. What is the Senate? Where is it? Empire of what? You see Dagobah, Hoth, Tattoine and Endor, and none of them has any trace of government. The only place you see that has the slight sign of administration is Bespin, and that’s not even an important place in the whole galaxy.
From that you have to imagine how is the rest of the galaxy. I remember that when I was a kid, most people used to think that the whole Empire was just an empire of spaceships that dominated underdeveloped planets, and that’s all (and the worst thing is that according to IV, V and VI, that’s acceptable).
Even more, the whole universe is at war but all you see is the adventures of Luke. How stupid is that? I can’t blame Lucas. He said himself that he regrets not having the tech or money to make the story as wide as it should be at the time. Centering on Luke is a limitation, not something to be praised. The I, II and III rightfully placed the characters stories below or at least in the same level as the rest of the universe, what should’ve been done to the IV, V and VI as well.
Sorry, but all I see here is someone complaining about not having a boring 1 person story, about a single individual saving the whole universe in his every move, what is really ridiculous to think even for a country what to say for a whole galaxy. I’m really glad that Lucas fixed that, and that now I can see that the whole galaxy is not made of 1 person.
DESCRIPTION OF CHARACTERS: I’ll pretty much get into your game.
Han Solo: he’s a rogue. He got a strange facial expression and keeps uninitentionally smilling due to lack of interpretation from H. Ford (that only do serious roles). All of his faces are overly expressed, like he is doing mimics, with too widely opened eyes (like japanese theater, wich is great, but totally incoherent for a movie). From the whole cast, he was the only one that made me see that it was an actor, not a character (always speaking as if there was a third person seeing him act).
Qui Gon: he is very calm and experienced. Know what to do even at the worst time possible, and is very patient. Everything is under his control but if something isn’t, he doesn’t mind breaking some rules and being a little rebel if he think it’s needed for a greater good. That just perfectly fits the personality Obi-Wan shows in the older movies. The only difference is that the old Obi-Wan is not a rebel in any way, since there is no Jedi Order.
C3PO: just a clown, nothing more. It is exactly the same role played by Jar Jar, or even by himself on the I, II and III.
Amidala: very serious and focused person. She can endure any hardship with the same fearless determination. She appears to have no feelings while leading her planet, but she is sweet, smart and corageus when she is not in the rule of queen os senator, and this is great.
Actually, I can’t even imagine a queen being any other way. What should she be? Sterical and stubborn like Leia? Her image is the same as Angela Merkel’s or Queen Elizabeth’s. Also, does everyone in your world must have a non-regular behaviour
somehow? Maybe you don’t know serious people, but they do exist.
Also, stop asking morons what they think about the sagas, ask someone that at least understood the movies.
Let’s just make another question game, shall we?
Describe the galaxy in the 2 trilogies without describing specifically any planet:
I, II and III: a bible of content.
IV, V and VI: …nothing, wait, …Hoth?
STORY: Let me see… the whole galaxy is at piece and you want a pointless action scene at the beginning of Phantom Menace? How ridiculous is that? You want action at the beginning? Watch Revenge of the Sith and fill your eyes with grandiosity and shame for ever having said that you’ve seen a great space battle before.
Asnwer me this: Based only in the IV, V and VI, how does the galaxy work? What does a Jedi do? The answer is silence, because THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE IN THE OLDER TRILOGY. I believe you thought that a Jedi would just go wherever crime is and destroy everyone, like a super hero (so naive if you’re more than 15yo). Lucas spent some time showing everyone what is the galaxy and what a Jedi do and all you can do is complain about not having a battle? Go watch Braddock, damn it!
The I, II and III are so full of iformation because the have to set their own background and the background of the older trilogy, that was so incomplete. The older trilogy could even be renamed to “The Space Adventures of Luke Skywalker” and IT WOULD FIT because there is nothing else to the movie!
Now try to do that to the new trilogy… You can’t, and you know why? Because there are many important facts and characters happening everywhere in the galaxy, covered all the time in different takes. The movie is rich. The real STAR WARS can only be seen in the I, II and III, because the old movies don’t have a galaxy, only 4 or 5 unexplored planets 1 moon and some teddy bears.
I’m stopping here, because if I go on, I’ll find much more flaws on your review (much more than I thought). But at least, I’ll just explain your point of view.
Back in the 70′s-80′s, science fiction wasn’t so explored as it is today, and that’s a great part of the success of A New Hope. The whole movie was like nothing you’ve ever seen before. The feeling that you must have felt when you saw it on the theater must have been incredible, almost impossible to describe. I envy you, for I’ve never seen those movies in a theather, since I was born in 1980.
Unfortunately, that feeling clouded your judgement, because you expected the same feeling in the new saga, and that’s impossible, because science fiction and aliens are just a very commom subject today.
Also, you have the “oldman’s revolt”. I created the name, but It is a very well known syndrome where old people desperately try to enrich their youth to see it as fasr superior to today’s youth (even young people that hates nowadays life style can have that syndrome). That makes you love every single piece of shit from the past, even flaws and mistakes.
Because of that feeling, you tend to say that everything that was old is better, but look at yourself! You are complaining about the new movies because a queen does look like a queen and a Jedi Master does look like a Jedi Master. or even because you are being filled with information about the galaxy, politics, governments, species, knowledge… That’s just absurd. You praise the incomplete and despises what is well described.
I know this is not Lucas’ fault. He already said that he didn’t have the money or tech to make the old movies as wide as they should be, but limitiations are to be just respected, not praised, so I tend to overlook these flaws.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m really confident that I’m one of the biggest fans Star Wars will ever have, but even so, Its hard to let pass things like:
- Lack of good choreographers: this was responsible by horrible fight between Old Kenobi and Vader. Obi-Wan looked like an old man using a cane to scare off a dog and made me think that a Jedi was a piece of shit, lightsaber and all. That was not dramatic, but a shit fight. Also Han shaking his blaster while shooting is pretty ridiculous (looks like a kid saying bang!)
- Characters breathing in space (Solo and crew): no comments…
- Lack of background of the rest of the galaxy, only fucking Luke: I’ve said enough about this already.
- Ridiculous outfits: specially those turtle helmets and the plastic armor of the storm troopers.
Now, you have to learn that what is old is not necessarily good. Some things are, but not everything. Also, all the old saga was incomplete and full of flaws due to lack of time, money and expertise, and nothing of that happenend to the new saga, made as Lucas intended Star Was to be.
Everything on the new movies is made to fix the old olnes and make everything a whole with sense. They even refused to use CG to make the wookiees, just to avoid creating a big gap between them and that poorly made Chewbacca costume from the old Saga. If something is wrong, is in the old movies, not in the new ones.
Stop loving crap, and start fundamenting your opinions in a more solid way, aside from your own feelings of revolt.
Who’s the bigger nerd, the nerd that complains or the nerd that writes a mile long essay about those complaints.
Simpletons, please, keep out of this argument. Go watch reality shows, which suits more your level…
The prequels sucked.
are you fucking serius?
To be charitable to Lucas, your interest in the wider universe sounds like what I’ve always assumed about the guy — he was fascinated by the big picture in his head.
The first problem is either you make a fictional almanac or you make a work of drama. Even if Lucas’ writing were competent, plots are all about human interest and pacing — if you set out to tell a story, the audience is going to expect a story, not a recitation of indices.
The second problem is that Lucas’ understanding of his world is and was always nebulous — the prequels feel like recycled fan-fic because it was creative people around him who brought the original Star Wars movies to life by introducing their own interpretations, suggestions and challenges. Lucas was the spark, sure, but his one-man show proved he was nothing more.
+1. I agree, the prequels are better in the fact that they explain star wars on a galactic level as opposed to focusing on just a few characters. Everything makes more sense with the addition of the prequel trilogy and it adds replay value to the old trilogy because you now have an understanding of vader and why he does what he does. I personally like both trilogies, each for their own reason.
You should open a dictionary and look up the definition of the word “irony”.
Sorry but you’re wrong. This review summed things up from how a film should be made. Your first line to defend this film against this review was: the audience needs a protagonist? Who the hell told you that?
I stopped reading there because you obviously have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. Almost every engaging movie has a central character we know more about than the other characters in the film. This review explains this. It spends 5 to 10 minutes establishing this point. Are you mental?
Stop using synonyms and spell check to sound smarter than you actually are. It doesn’t help the fact that you are calling everybody here nerds and morons for just being here when YOU are here spending more time trying to defend shit that actually makes no sense to anybody, other than the ‘fanboys’ who convince themselves that it makes sense by breaking it down and reading the books and so on.
In closing; Fuck off.
george? is that you?
My Star Wars Prequel Ideas, I just made up right now
Yoda, Obi-Wan, the republic, Stormtroopers/ Republic army and the rest of the Jedi order are fighting a massive galactic war, with a Separatist army that’s rumored to be led by a pair of Sith warriors. Obi-Wan and Yoda are among a group of Jedi trying to find more leads into this mystery, while other Jedi fight the Separatist group. They chase leads on dangerous, grimy, crime/ Separatist controlled planets looking for leads.
They finally find the Sith Apprentice and a part of the Separatist army on an Urban planet. Obi-Wan and Yoda try to kill him, and discover that the apprentice and his team have been laying the groundwork for a full scale invasion. Yoda and Obi-Wan have to get off the planet to send word to the council.
They search the city for an adequete pilot, scince they don’t have enough credits to buy a new ship, and Yoda forbids stealing one even thogh Obi-Wan suggests it. They hear about a great pilot known as Anakin. They find Anakin who’s supprisingly 15-16 ish. Anakin is street smart, and sly, as well as arrogant. But Yoda senses an extreme potential in the force within Anakin. Yoda and Obi-Wan start training him, hoping he might be a good ally. They have to convince the council to let them do so, given Anakins age.
The chancellor refuses to send support to the system, but is assasinated (assasin made it look like an accident.) Palpatine rises to power and decides to send support to the planet, hoping to gain popularity and even more power through a military win. The planet is liberated from the Separatists but the Sith gets away. Anakin has not reached his potential, but he adapted to the force very rapidly.
Palpatine aka Darth Sidious has a few conversations with his apprentice throughout the movie. This explains Palpatines goal of seizing complete control of the Republic and restoring Sith dominance in the galaxy. He hopes to do so by establishing a fake Separatist/rebel army to create enough tension in the galaxy to expose the undecisive, democratic senate. He will gain his power this way until he has the reigns. While the participants in the rebellion beleive it to be a true revolution, they don’t know it’s true purpose.
That’s the end of number one.
A few years have past, scince Obi-Wan and Yoda met Anakin. Yoda is nearly fully devoted to his time on the council, and can’t go on so many missions anymore. Anakin is now pretty expirienced, and Obi-Wan is no longer a Padawan, and hasn’t been scince Anakin officialy joined the Jedi. Yoda used to be more actively involved in training Anakin but because of Anakins quick ascent through force skills, and Yoda’s increasing council duties, not much is left to teach. Anakin and Obi-Wan work together very often, along with Jedi Ky Muul, and Anya Firdassa (I made them up; Ky Muul is a stoic and honorable Green Nautolan Jedi Master. He’s strong and weilds a double bladed blue lightsaber. Anya is a young, energetic, tough and spunky jedi Knight. She’s agile, and weilds two green lightsabers. She is a tan human.) The team of four is sent to Naboo to finish joining Naboo to the Republics side in the War. When they get there they’re introduced to Padme Amidala, the Queen of Naboo. Anakin and Padme meet after a round of dealings and begin a secret relationship. Anakin and the other Jedi need to secure Naboo’s loyalty by promising protection. Padme becomes the new senator giving up the throne to serve in the galactic Senate. Meanwhile The team of Jedi is sent to track down a lead on the most powerful information broker in the galaxy. The broker has acquired sensitive information that could cause a war between Naboo and another system. The Jedi also find this mission to their advantage, the broker having possible knowlege on the separatists. They eventually find the location of the brokers base, a massive space station. When they get there they reallize that the separatists too are onboard the station and have already begun their assault. To be continued…
Hey… Pause part 2 of this review at 23:09.. Does anyone notice anything weird about the angle of the street with the window they are looking out of? It’s like the building they’re in hangs over the street.
But I CAN describe the Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon of the prequels. See?
Obi-Wan is a man who genuinely loves his teacher and wants to do the right thing. He tries to help people whenever he can, but he’s young, so he can be rash. He goes through a tremendous character arc, growing up after the death of his father figure and raising a child who eventually turns against him.
Qui-Gon loves his student more deeply than really he should. He was mentored by someone who eventually became what he considered “evil” and was thus much more sympathetic to that sort of “evil” person, making Obi-Wan likewise sympathetic. He cared more about people than politics and tried to help people whenever he could, though he retained too much respect for those who had taught him to disobey them in a major way.
“He was mentored by someone who eventually became what he considered evil”
Where was this explained in the movie.
It’s explained in the attack of the clones whenever dooku captures obi-wan. That’s one thing about the prequels. They really require that you watch all 3 for them to make sense and it can be difficult to catch everything.
Even if true Qui Gon died before Dooku became evil and never knew. Even then, the OTHER Jedi didn’t even know – they just considered him a “political idealist.”
So if you truly think that was part of Qui Gon’s character then you’ve been punked.
“I’m a person and my name is Anakin” – something in me died when I heard this line the first time.
“It’s time to kill the Jedi (oh good)” – always makes me laugh.
The Cuban Missile Crisis (1962) was called “World War I” (1914)? When the f**k did that happen?
It’s a called a joke, dipshit.
If you like these review you will really like this video;
i would like a pizza roll
FYI, the Yogscast, more specifically Simon, made a reference to this review in their latest video.
I hate to “come out the gate here” being full of vitriol, but after watching the funny and brilliant review for TPM, and then afterwards, reading some of the comments on here about the review itself, I have to say that so many of you miss the point of something like this. Obviously, RedLetterMedia uses comedic themes to create a premise, and that premise runs through all of their material, especially HitB and GameStation 2.0. In these reviews, Mr. Plinkett is executing a style of humor called “satire”. In fact, one might even call it “sardonic”, or “cynical”, or “dry/dark humor”.
The INTENTION of this review (and a lot of other Plinkett reviews) is to insist upon the fact that something as silly as a Star Wars prequel is completely overtaking his mind; and he is driving himself crazy to the point of obsession and rumination over the smallest details of the movie. IMO, there’s a meta-joke hidden in the character of Mr. Plinkett – Mr. Plinkett’s (literally) murderous and defensive standpoint on his own opinion is, ironically, a lot like a stereotypical internet commentator’s might be. With that in mind, the reason why this review ends up being brilliant is because the cynical tone of the review “unintentionally” points out a great deal of plot holes, technical errors, and bad scriptwriting that is present in the movie.
I can say that I’ve always been a fan of Star Wars, especially the OT, so I’m biased as well. Furthermore, it’s implied that Mike S. (Mr. Plinkett) is a fan of the previous movies, because someone who hasn’t seen the OT, or who didn’t appreciate/worship it, wouldn’t dedicate so much time to pointing out the inadequacies in the continuation of such a beloved and hallowed series of films. If you ask me? I personally thought TPM was boring. To me the only “cool” and interesting part of TPM was the lightsaber duel between Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Darth Maul, and that’s only because I liked the lightsaber fight scenes in Empire and Jedi so much. I’m biased, yet, we are ALL biased, with us being the imperfect, irrational, carbon-based heliotropes that we are.
This brings me back to my original point – THESE REVIEWS ARE MADE FOR FUN AND ENTERTAINMENT. RLM never takes themselves too seriously, and that’s probably why they’ve garnered so many fans. It’s funny because it’s ABSURD – that is the entire point of comedy. It seems almost impalpable that so many people choose to nitpick a cheeky, silly interpretation of a terrible movie from their own perspective, all while taking themselves too seriously. This “armchair critic” bullshit is like asking for a “Gold Star” from the denizens of the internet. So what’s next? A review of the review of TPM? Or a review of the review of the review of TPM? GImme a fucking break.
I have a feeling that the naysayers on this site, and on the internet in general, are just simple, contrary assholes with nothing better to do than to rip on someone who’s doing something funny and original. RedLetterMedia makes hilariously satrical, low-budget-yet-well-conceived internet videos for people and ask for very little in return. That, to me, is a lost art. The art of SUBTLETY.
It seems a lot of you could use a little.
I think you’ve got it completely backwards. The review takes itself extremely seriously, but inserts comedy constantly to make it seem like it doesn’t. The comedy keeps you engaged while the points are hammered home.
You may not have noticed – but your brain did.
the pizza roll scene is genuinely creepy!
It’s strange because even as a kid, the prequels still bored me to death because space politics.
Seems like ur nitpicking. I really like you fanboys ur never happy. Honestly idk why ur bitching. I liked it a lot. In fact it’s better than the first 3.
Cypress Hill – Insane in the Membrane
That’s great that you feel that way. But you’re wrong and this movie sucked. I can’t comprehend how stupid you are if you just watched this review and didn’t believe it.
You’re either a troll or too young to give a shit about the importance of character development and a solid story. This movie had neither of those going for it. Please go back to school and hopefully you’ll accidentally learn something.
u r either sick, or a troll… either way u’r sick.. get some help.
Is it bad that I’ve watched these reviews like 5 times but I still find myself coming back to watch them again?
No, it’s not.
If the reviewer were nerdy or a Voice of Authority, that implies that special knowledge or expertise was necessary to make those judgments. The Plinkett character is an effective device that tells the viewer “even an ignorant psychopath can see what’s wrong with this.” It also helps the writer behind the character to go over the top and/or meaner with his criticism. Aimed at a deserving target and used intelligently, that also seems to work out well.
We surrender to your advanced knowledge of storytelling and movie making. All hail Sage! Your name sucks, get over yourself.
Anyone wonder where all of the errant laser shots from the Federation Blockade go? Do they hit the planet? Are they set to stop after a certain distance?
Obiwan discovers Anakin as a 17 year old pod racing
sensation on Tatooine. Hot tempered Anakin
is using his innate capabilities with the force to win, which attracts the attention
of sith confederates. Obiwan senses the
need to take Anakin on as an apprentice to prevent a disaster. Against the council (which has been
infiltrated with Sith Lords), Yoda sides with obiwan, and Anakin begins secret
training. Obiwan marries Padme (yes, Obiwan). Anakin rockets to success as a Jedi, until
his mother dies (something he attributes to Obiwan and the Jedi) and he falls in love with Padme and eventually
seduces her. Obiwan is furious and
drives off Anakin, who is heartbroken and angry, susceptible to the dark side. He
sides with the Sith to take his revenge. Padme is sent to Dagobah under Yoda’s
protection when Jedis start dying. Etc. Ben
knows that Luke and Leia are not his children.
It’s a statement to his character that trains Luke and unites him with Anakin. BTW- that’s another thing I’d change – I’d
have Ben Kenobi involved way earlier in looks life since he’s keen on avoiding
the same disaster he had with Anakin.
The part about the bet was dumb. It wasn’t that complicated…
maybe not that complicated, but like so many other elements in the movie, it was stupid.
“I will not condone a course of action
that will lead us to war” and so on.
Makes sense to me. Amidala’s either
a) a typical politician who says one thing and does something else (though not on the grand scale as Palpatine) or
b) she realizes that she can’t avoid war to save the planet (though we don’t see a scene in which she changes her mind after a long struggle of her conscience to show us what a good character she has.)
I have read some of suggestions for a different version of Star Wars prequels. Well here is my suggestion. After the title crawl, an organian ship bursts onto the screens as it drops out of hyper-space. Immediately you can tell that the ship is in distress as the lights and power flicker on the ship and it is trailing smoke. The two man cockpit shows to pilots, one is franticly pulling up star charts, while the other hitting buttoms to keep the ship operational and asking “Where did we end up?”. The other explains, “We’re about 25 parsecs from our distinition. We’re not going to making it are we.” The other explains, “Without, hyper drive we’re not going anywhere. Find us a place to put down quick, They’re right on our tail.” Then the one looking at the star maps points to a planet. The ship cruises toward the planet. Suddeningly another ship drops out of hyperspace. Its roughly the same size but with different marking and configuration. The crippled ship enters the atmosphere of a desolate desert planet, Tattooine. The ship crashes just outside a city. The pilots abandon the ship grabbing a damaged and inoperable asto-mech droid as they escape to smoldering wreckage. They carry the droid on a gaurney as they head toward the city in the distance.
The two men try to find an in where they can hide and none of the locals will say anything. Once they secure a place to hide they look for a repair shop to get the droid fixed. Meanwhile the persuing ship lands near the wreckage of the first. Two men in long robes exit the ship and begin investigating the wreckage. Jawas and local people are scavengering about the ship. The two hooded men are a young Obiwan and Mace Windu.
That’s just a start.
Essentially, the plot would be that the pilots of the organa ship are sabotuers. The damages droid is R2-D2. One of the men knows the ways of the force. Obiwan and Mace chase the men down and catch up to them, after a long foot chase through the crowded city, with the sabotuers shooting at them and the Jedi deflecting them while trying to protect civilians. (NO Stupid Super Speed Running) They corner the vilians were one pulls out a lightsaber and they duel. But civilians get in the way and the sith endangers them, just at that moment a young man, a street performer, intercedes because his mother and grand-mother are under threat. He uses great acrobatic skills and defeats the Sith. The Jedi are amazed, the force is strong with him, this simple street performer, from poor means a begger using his great powers and skill to support his family, his mother and grandmother. He is Anikin Skywalker. (No Stupid Little Kid) Anakin, knows about the force but his family was always too poor to do anything about it. But Anakin is confused by the evil force user, the Sith. Mace explains that Long ago, before men ever counted the days. there were 2 kinds of people force users and regular people. Some force users were kind and generous, and others were selfish. But they all used the force for personal gains. Later as societies grew, force users were made into kings. Some kings were just others were corrupt. Finally some forcer users studied the force deeply and became priests. They realized that the force was in all things and was meant to be user for the good of all people collectively. But others disagreed, they felt what was the use of having these powers if they couldn’t use them to benefit their own tribe or kingdom or family. There was a great divide and the priests became known as Jedi and others became Sith. Obiwan is confused because their should be no more Sith.
Anakin joins the Jedis as they travel to Corrisant to report their finding and recover what R2 was carrying. The information he was carrying was from Queen Amadala. It was the notification of a plot on the part of a group of star systems to susseed from the Republic and form a Separatist group. Why, because of their lack of representation in the Senate. These star systems are all corporate, and industrial manufacturing planets. Planets of Commerce and wealth. They want majority representation, But the Republic holds to equal representation. The Seperatists want majority rule inorder to set policies in their favor. To drive down wages and increase their assets. The Separatists are pressuring her star system of Organa (NOT Naboo, No Jar Jar) to join their group or else they’ll sanction here planet and shoot down any ship that leave the system. The Jedi were to rendezvous with the Organain ship in secret, but it was taken over by Separatists As the pilots were taking the info to their leaders of proof that Amadala had sold them out. Luckily they intercepted the ship and with Anakin’s help they had stopped the bad guys from exposing Amadala testamony about the Separatists. Anakin explains that being from an outlaying planet, these corporate planets use Tattoonie for labor and pay them nothing. These Separatist want to exploit other Star systems the same way. They induct Anakin into the Jedi order and Obiwan is to begin training him. (No Prophecy) Yoda is proud of Obiwan’s progress. Obi is Yoda’s student. They all go Organa to free the Queen and here people from the Separatists pressure and assault.
They go free the people and the Queen and find that Sith influence is involved with the Separatists. (Nice big battle, No goofy Gungans) Anakin personally rescues Amadala and immediately he puts the moves on her and she likes him too. They share a kiss. (The Jedi are NOT Forbidding to Love or Marry) But if they do marry they are not allowed to have advanced training. That would conflict with their devotions. You can not serve 2 masters.
In part 2 you could have Obi trying to pressure Anakin to not take his relationship with Amadala too seriously, but Anakin has skill and powers and potiential to get a great Jedi Master. Obi insists that because Anakin is so strong with the force, he owns it to himself to reach his fullest potiential. But Anakin is alreeady falling for Padame and she for him. (Don’t have ANakin be a bad apple from the start. He should be idealistic and smooth and very likable with the ladies.)
I have read some of suggestions for a different version of Star Wars prequels. Well here is my suggestion. After the title crawl, an organian ship bursts onto the screens as it drops out of hyper-space. Immediately you can tell that the ship is in distress as the lights and power flicker on the ship and it is trailing smoke. The two man cockpit shows to pilots, one is franticly pulling up star charts, while the other hitting buttoms to keep the ship operational and asking “Where did we end up?”. The other explains, “We’re about 25 parsecs from our destination. We’re not going to making it are we.” The other explains, “Without, hyper drive we’re not going anywhere. Find us a place to put down quick, They’re right on our tail.” Then the one looking at the star maps points to a planet. The ship cruises toward the planet. Suddenly another ship drops out of hyperspace. Its roughly the same size but with different marking and configuration. The crippled ship enters the atmosphere of a desolate desert planet, Tattooine. The ship crashes just outside a city. The pilots abandon the ship grabbing a damaged and inoperable asto-mech droid as they escape to smoldering wreckage. They carry the droid on a gaurney as they head toward the city in the distance.
The two men try to find an in where they can hide and none of the locals will say anything. Once they secure a place to hide they look for a repair shop to get the droid fixed. Meanwhile the pursuing ship lands near the wreckage of the first. Two men in long robes exit the ship and begin investigating the wreckage. Jawas and local people scavenge about the ship. The two hooded men are a young Obiwan and Mace Windu, maybe Qui-gan.
That’s just a start.
Essentially, the plot would be that the pilots of the organa ship are sabotuers. The damages droid is R2-D2. One of the men knows the ways of the force. Obiwan and Mace chase the men down and catch up to them, after a long foot chase through the crowded city, with the sabotuers shooting at them and the Jedi deflecting them while trying to protect civilians. (NO Stupid Super Speed Running) They corner the vilians were one pulls out a lightsaber and they duel. But civilians get in the way and the sith endangers them, just at that moment a young man, a street performer, intercedes because his mother and grand-mother are under threat. He uses great acrobatic skills and defeats the Sith. The Jedi are amazed, the force is strong with him, this simple street performer, from poor means a begger using his great powers and skill to support his family, his mother and grandmother. He is Anikin Skywalker. (No Stupid Little Kid) Anakin, knows about the force but his family was always too poor to do anything about it. But Anakin is confused by the evil force user, the Sith. Mace explains that Long ago, before men ever counted the days. there were 2 kinds of people force users and regular people. Some force users were kind and generous, and others were selfish. But they all used the force for personal gains. Later as societies grew, force users were made into kings. Some kings were just others were corrupt. Finally some forcer users studied the force deeply and became priests. They realized that the force was in all things and was meant to be user for the good of all people collectively. But others disagreed, they felt what was the use of having these powers if they couldn’t use them to benefit their own tribe or kingdom or family. There was a great divide and the priests became known as Jedi and others became Sith. Obiwan is confused because there should be no more Sith.
Anakin joins the Jedis as they travel to Corrisant to report their finding and recover what R2 was carrying. The information he was carrying was from Queen Amadala. It was the notification of a plot on the part of a group of star systems to succeed from the Republic and form a Separatist group. Why, because of their lack of representation in the Senate. These star systems are all corporate, and industrial manufacturing planets. Planets of Commerce and wealth. They want majority representation, But the Republic holds to equal representation. The Seperatists want majority rule in order to set policies in their favor, to drive down wages and increase their assets. The Separatists are pressuring her star system of Organa (NOT Naboo, No Jar Jar) to join their group, because they are a critical industrial system, they’re using old gangster tactics or pressure and intimidation. No occupying forces just lobbyists and ambassadors of the planet’s they represent following her around and constantly approaching her when she is talking to other representatives to eaves drop on their conversation. They keep trying to reason with her to support them, and that they have the right to form their own coalition. The Jedi were to rendezvous with the Organain ship in secret, but it was taken over by Separatists As the pilots were taking the info to their leaders as proof that Amadala had sold them out. Luckily they intercepted the ship and with Anakin’s help they had stopped the bad guys from exposing Amadala testamony about the Separatists to the Separatists. Anakin explains that being from an outlaying planet, these corporate planets use Tattoonie for labor and pay them nothing. These Separatist want to exploit other Star systems the same way. (NO Boring Senate Meeting) They induct Anakin into the Jedi order and Obiwan is to begin training him. (No Prophecy) Yoda is proud of Obiwan’s progress. Obi is Yoda’s student. They all go Organa, (Obiwan, Mace, maybe Qui-gan, Anakin, and R2) to support the Queen and her people from the Separatists pressure and assault.
They sneak in to speak to the Queen and find that Sith influence is involved with the Separatists. Then when they confront to Separatists they find that they have a small detachment of about 20 cloned human soldiers with them. (Nice lazer verses saber battle, No goofy Gungans) Anakin personally rescues Amadala from the fighting and immediately he puts the moves on her and she likes him too. They share a kiss. (The Jedi are NOT Forbidding to Love or Marry) But if they do marry they are not allowed to have advanced training. That would conflict with their devotions. You cannot serve 2 masters.
In part 2 you could have Obi trying to pressure Anakin to not take his relationship with Amadala too seriously, but Anakin has skill and powers and potiential to get a great Jedi Master. Obi insists that because Anakin is so strong with the force, he owns it to himself to reach his fullest potiential. But Anakin is already falling for Padame, and she with him. (Don’t have Anakin be a bad apple from the start. He should be idealistic and smooth and very likable with the ladies.)
Anyway, as Anakin leads Padame away from the fighting they get confronted by another Sith. Anakin has no light-saber. But must use his skill to fight the Sith. Obiwan sees Anakin fighting then joins him in fighting the Sith. Anakin distracts him while Obiwan fight shim. Mace and Qui-gan run to join but are detained by the soldiers. The Sith is almost cornered and disarmed when he take Anakin hostage. Just as Anakin escapes the Sith is able to kill Qui-gan. Then before being disarmed by Obiwan, Mace, and Anakin, who takes up Qui-gan’s saber, the sith commits suicide.
At the end Organa is placed under the exclusive protection of the Republic’s Space flight guard, to prevent any retaliation by the Separatists. The Republic and the Jedi are worried about the proliferation of Sith knights and the evidence that the Separatists have clone soldiers already, and maybe planning to move against the Republic if they have enough clone soldiers.
Part 2 should open with the Separatist’s first all out attack on outlaying Star systems and occupying them as they push their way towards the core systems. This attack comes just a month before the supreme chancellor’s re-election. The Chancellor declares a state of emergency and deploys Republic forces to try to retake the occupied systems. One of the occupied systems is Tattoonie. Anakin has been sending his stipends and allowance to support the family during his early Jedi training.
Palpatine, Senator of Organa runs for office and criticizes the Chancellor for not acting sooner to reconcile the Separatists or deal with them before this heinous attack. He claims that the Chancellors inaction has led them to war. The Chancellor argues that there may still be time to negotiate with the Separatists; that we need not go to war. But Palpatine argues that we are in a state of war and that we must act now to crush the Separatist movement before it destroys the Republic. Had the chancellor done so earlier, this war would not have engulfed the Republic. The Chancellor disputes that has he acted that way earlier, we would have been plunged into war sooner. War would not have been averted. He argues that Palpatine is war mongering. Plapatine claims that Chancellor is the war monger for threatening the Separatists instead of reconciling them. (Which is what the Chancellor has been doing) Palpatine is using double speak, and has been inciting the Separatists not to reconcile with the Republic and holding off an attack until election time was close.
Meanwhile Anakin is having meditation lessons with Obiwan. Obiwan explains that when the force is in harmony, it flows like a river, seeping into every corner of existence. Filling all living things up, and where ever the force flows life grows. Obi tells Anakin the force is strong with him because of where he is from. A place that was weak, a place missing life. So the force flowed into him to make life flourish in the desert. The force knows where it is needed. But Yodi interrupts and tells Obi that something is interrupting the flow of the force. Obi agrees they can all feel a disturbance in the force. Something like a great stone is scattering the flow of the force. The force cannot flow freely where it is needed most. The strength of Anakin’s force makes him a good candidate to restore the balance of the force. It seems the force chose him for this. But Anakin is distracted, his mind is on Padame and he worries about his mother under Separatist occupation.
is there smoke in space? oh well, i guess there wouldn’t be sound or fire in space either, but at least that didn’t ruin eps 4 & 5.
There can be fire and sound but only for as far as the oxygen that is escaping the space craft can carry it. Smoke has a physical property so it could be in space. The trajectory of moving smoke would move out in a lot of different directions and would appear to dissipate quickly, but it would still be there. It would just be dispersed. Wow, that may have been the clearest thinking I’ve ever posted on the internet. Cats and George Lucas is an ass….. now everything is in balance!
i was reading your post and then you made me wince strongly with ‘mace windu”, and you completely lost me at ‘quigon’… sorry but samuel jackson should be black-listed from ever appearing in another star wars movie, and so should liam ‘the drunk’ neeson. these 2 were part of the problem with menace.
Your Star Trek review where you went to great lengths to defend that fad hacker Abrams was most disappoint.
I am boycotting all future reviews by you of that particular movie.
Sorry. Learn your lesson.
Why did you post a complaint of a Star Trek review on a review of The Phantom Menace? Also, you left the “ing” off of the end of “disappoint”. That makes you look like a retard.
Sorry. Learn your lesson.
So because he thought star trek was mediocre and not aweful you’re boycotting? Abrams is actually a decent director, he even says there’s good action scenes.
Is it just me, or did George Lucas forget that the Imperial Senate supported the Rebellion? It sounded like the empire was established through a military or fascist coup, something that Lucas should’ve focussed on in the prequels.
anybody who actually liked these films comes from what I like to call the “instant gratification generation” It’s a generation that dislikes things like; plot, exposition, story development, protagonists, antagonists, plot….these things mean shit to this generation because it’s too intangible they want explosions and sparkling vampires and shitty sci fi revamps that don’t hold a candle to the originals because if they did then this generation would find that shit boring as well…
Ha, damn, man. 100% spot on obliteration of this terrible shit movie.
Plinkett, you bastard! You will deliver me my fellow brethren, or there WILL be hell to pay! I shall force you to watch the Star Wars Christmas Special if you refuse!
… Ewan McGregor is the main character as Obi-Wan Kenobi.
I am confused as to what your character point is.
He’s the main character on paper, but he is not integral to anything that actually happens. You could replace him with ANY Jedi if it wasn’t for the 3 originals. Most of his scenes are also not to progress the plot but to whine and bitch.
He doesn’t do anything he has no arc. He sits around all movie adds no insight teaches no one anything and is there to get mad and beat darth maul at the end. In fact if you remove him from the movie… nothing changes. Just have qui gon beat maul.
“Sometimes they’ll even get the girl in the end as icing on the cake”
Willie Wonka in the corner just made me cry laughing, pure genius.
I watch this every few months, it is pure gold.
The 90 second non advertising thing is bullshit. This was my first visit to the site, and if you want to prove it is run by douche bags. Well then well done. Oh, yeah. won’t be back of course.
Oh stop it, you can open up the video in VLC or download it with the right tools.
you will be sorely missed
oh god please dont you guys dare make money!
oh yeah and “omg the world revolves around me wah wah wah”
oh by the way you should probably send redlettermedia a check. I mean if you’re serious about getting rid of ads. Or do you just thing things you want should be free?
drop the ads damnit. I mean I’m still going to watch, but its annoying as shit
If you guys, the complaining viewers, don’t understand why there are ads before or during the things you want to watch then you probably don’t understand how things work, like at all. You see RLM has to pay for webspace and junk in order to host videos and whatever. They don’t have like some kinda server farm and a satellite in orbit. And since they know you probably don’t want to pay cash every time you want to watch a video then they make you pay the only other way possible, with thirty seconds of your time, time you can spend not paying attention to the ad anyways. You see, companies pay just have the chance to get your attention.
Yeah I just installed adblock a week or so ago because I felt like I was going to kill myself if I had to watch another 30 second ad for a 00:00:16 second video on youtube, but I’m going to disable it for RLM’s website since they actually do deserve it.
I love every Mr Plinkett review. Perceptive, fun and witty. Helps me understand why I despise this crap…
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