Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace

I’m writing my BA paper on Star Wars….this stuff helps! thanks for makin these vids!

I have viewed your review, i muat say i don’t agree with your synopsis of the video. i agree that the ‘Phantom Menace’ has its faults and flaws but its obvious that you grew up with the original three movies and have a closed opinion on the newer ones as most star wars fanboys have

The security chief says their security volunteers (which makes them sound like mall cops or concert bouncers—these are the people in charge of protecting the Queen and the rest of the planet?) would be no match against…”a battle-hardened Federation army”?

What? When the big final battle takes place, they’re almost entirely fighting regiments of DROIDS. The term “battle-hardened” refers to someone who has been through numerous wars and conflicts and has had their sensitivities, resilience, and training steeled over as a result. Usually this person is pretty valuable in a fight. “Battle-hardened” would be appropriate if you were referring to like, a human, or some other type of carbon-based life form that could experience things like fear, pain, or emotion. But these are FUCKING ROBOTS. The most “life-like” thing they do is say “Roger, roger” back to the giant computer that probably controls them. They’re not the fucking Uruk-hai.

Besides, from the way the Jedi cut these things in half by the dozen, I’d say they’re pretty expendable…not valuable. They’re like cheap plastic toys that all look the same (cue “We’re in the money” music). As soon as one gets demolished it just gets replaced by another on that looks exactly the same and has the same orders. They don’t need to be “battle-hardened” from numerous conflicts.

My blip just glitched in the best way possible. When R2D2 stuck “a thing in a thing” the video glithched out and skipped around wildly. R2, you dolt, you broke the video!

The guy who does these reviews is the biggest idiot in the history of the universe!!!

Anyone who agrees with this guy is an even bigger idiot!!! If he badmouths Star Wars: The Clone Wars, he’s dead, double time, no wait, make that quadrople time!

Just like how Russia siting nuclear warheads on Cuba was the story of World War One? The joke is he’s deliberately getting the names of historical events wrong, you fucking idiot.

IMHO
1. When you have a story that can’t really hold up to a complicated scrutiny of plot details like SW (as opposed to Star Trek which can work as a nerd niche), you really have to focus on universal elements of storytelling and visuals, you can’t just have a bunch of mindless logistical dialogue that creates all these new rules. That’s why this is ‘Fantasy in space’ as opposed to sci-fi; it’s supposed to be fucking universal and accessible!!!

2. Anakin should have been the Luke of the prequels, starting ep1 the same age as Luke in epIV. Lucas could have just aped the sequels and no one would have faulted him. No one wanted Godfather here, just SW. Making the character of Anakin switch actors 33% of the way through the trilogy is absolutely mind boggling; obviously the reasoning was,” Now it gots a little kid!” The closest I can get to identifying a protagonist in this mess is
ep1: Obiwan, Qui-gon, and Anakin are ALL the protagonist.
ep2: Obiwan and Anakin are both the protagonist.
ep3: Anakin is the Protagonist

3. Anakin and Obiwan’s friendship doesn’t make very much sense due to their age difference of… I’ll say at least 10 years. Actually the way these movies work it’s almost as if Anakin catches up in age to Obiwan.

This movie is 13 years old and I still can’t forget how much of a clusterfuck it was.

which the painfully terrible tv series or the animated film that got 19 percent http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/clone_wars/

the Uruk-Hai were active in the events of the first book where they attack the fellowship and kill Boromir. They also spent a good deal of time fighting small bands of Rohirim and raiding settlements. So they were not wholly untested, but neither had they faced determined resistance (with out most of them being killed)

Apparently you missed the big *IF* right before that statement.

So I look at my clock on the bottom right of my screen as he says “Hey it’s 11:30 in the morning…” It’s 11:33 o..O

You better get out before Plinkett explains to you “how much of a fucking idiot you are.” He gets pretty murderous when he explains things.

Yes, he’s a maverick to the point of doing unreasonable things. Even though he’s more contemplative. Brilliant analysis, Q.

Harry S. Plinkett ia my father

How ironic. Was about to watch this, when i see a Clone Wars animated series blueray commercial by dvdoo.com xD

Your alternative is generic and highly cliche, but coherent and understandable. At its core, Lucas’ script for Episodes I, II, and III is very much the same. It’s generic and not particularly clever, but it’s coherent. Think about it; if I simplified the story to its most basic elements, we’d get something that sounds as palatable as your own proposal.

Obi Wan is a young, somewhat impulsive Jedi being mentored by Li’emni Sohn, a powerful Jedi master. While traveling a barren desert world they stumble across a young boy named Anakin whose innate potential with the force is so great that it astonishes both of them. Obi-Wan senses that he is destined for great things and covets the chance to be the one who trains him, allowing his desire to do so to cloud his normally sound judgment.

The young Anakin grows in power but as he enters his tumultuous adolescence he chafes under what he feels is the oppression of the Jedi order. At the core of his rebellion is a disagreement; the Jedi Order demands that its adherents master and suppress their emotion, because failure to do so has led Jedi in the past to wield their power to do horrible things in pursuit of their passions. Anakin does not understand this and wouldn’t agree with it even if he did. All he sees is that the order is trying to keep him from the woman he loves passionately. He carries on his quiet rebellion out of the sights of the Jedi order. Some of the higher-ups know, but keep their eyes half-shut, because on some level they feel the code is too strict, as well.

Anakin grows in power and begins to perceive new subtleties in the force. One day, tapping deeply into it, he has a vision that terrifies him, of his beautiful wife dying. He refuses to accept that this is true. He fights to try to find a way around it. Everything he knows about the force suggests that what he’s seen is unavoidable. Finally, he’s faced with a choice; accept that his wife has to die, or throw away every shred of the things he’s been taught in a desperate bid that on the other side of the force, the side he’s been taught is evil, there may be an answer for him. Meanwhile, on the other side, a very powerful and intelligent evil sees this and senses an opportunity to turn one of the most powerful Jedi ever produced into his loyal servant. All he has to do is lie and tell the young man that on the dark side, there really IS a way to save his wife. And so Anikin allows himself to be corrupted, and by the time he realizes what is happening, he’s too late to change what he’s become, or the horrible things he has done. He wakes to find he’s a slave to a new master.

Fill that basic outline with scenes depicting Obiwan and Anakin going through adventures and you’d have a pretty decent trilogy… or, well, you might. The problem is not the basic plot idea that Lucas used. The problem is how he fleshed it out. He took the simple, central narrative of the first three episodes, which could have been brilliant in the hands of somebody who cared about things like logic and coherency, and buried it under several layers of shit, neglect, and bad acting. He made no apparent effort to screen it for internal contradictions, apparently never asked himself if the characters were believable, and didn’t bother to go out of his way to bring a great performance out of the actors. And he did this because he is, at hart, an effects man. He loves graphics. He wanted to build a wonderful and complex world, and to use computer graphics to create a visual cinematic experience that was like nothing seen before. And he did that, and brilliantly. But in his rush to do that, he thought he could get away with neglecting the other half of the movie–the story that ties it all together. And that’s where he fell apart, and why I hate the first trilogy so much. Anakin’s desperate battle against fate isn’t the problem. It’s that Lucas makes him act so insipid and stupid that the audience feels he turned to the dark side because he was a whiny man-bitch, and not because he was a desperate and brilliant Jedi who was, at heart, just a boy trying to save the girl he loved. Lucas didn’t treat a single plot idea he had with the respect it deserved. And he (and the rest of us) paid for it.

Guess what Disney is DMCA-ing next?

kamal from the jerky boys wants his kissel act back

My only gripe with this, the best review of this steaming pile of shit of a movie, is mo mention of Kurosawa, Godard, or Bergman : [ Might be shy an Italian or two. And I know he’s an acquired taste but esp. if your a painter – Greenaway’s movies are a visual candy shop. Since the Disney buyout and discussions about the next possible film, I’ve encountered some “thru the eyes of a child” apologists for this trope fest. Just needed a reminder that I wasn’t losing mind. This is a terrible movie and needs to be remembered as such. Besides Maul the only redeeming quality of PM is that comparatively, it makes the Ewoks bearable.

Hahaha, this review is class.

Comedian Jim Norton’s response to this video, “I spent all night watching these reviews and I fucking howled laughing….”

I think I recognized the sound of Plinkett’s ‘gat’ as one of the weapons from the old Star Wars: Dark Forces PC game back in 1995.

One of the best movie reviews ever made. Now, if you would only break Prometheus down… all the way to the mitochlorians.

Or calculate the jump to hyperspace from inside the blockade, and then past at light speed. Piece of cake.

Now I see what (who :D) made Lucas sell his company to Disney. Nicely done!

but the irony is that even the special effects are not that good, the CGI looks really fake, for example terminator 2 (made 10 years before) had better special effects than episode 2; also the special effects are none near as ground braking as the original star wars

The fact that the droids get cut down like butter is only a problem if you look at TPM as a stand alone movie – and everyone in the audience knew they were seeing only 1/3rd of a trilogy.
1) the seeming superiority of the Jedi. What makes their eventual fall so dramatic is the destruction of their status as nearly invincible figures. This has to happen out of order from the original trilogy in order to make narrative sense. The Jedi start with power and lose to evil, rather than start as goodie underdogs. It’s OK that their primary opponents are incompetent in the first movie, since you’ve already accepted that you are in for a trilogy. Faulting this aspect of the first film after the whole trilogy was a failure is unfair.

2) The superiority of the clones versus droids. Ever wonder why the Empire would bother training and using live humans (or at least humanoids) under those stormtrooper outfits, rather than mass produce a bunch of robots? I certainly wondered that as a kid. This was actually a clever way to answer that question, by showing the incompetence and unreliability of the mass produced machine and eventual necessity of the mass produced cloned soldier.

3) Queens are more exciting than rooks. The lack of tension throughout the film was the result of mostly absent villains and a long drought of story spent on the silly pod race. What would a more competent droid army accomplish? The audience isn’t there to watch the conflict with the droids – they are there for the conflict with the Sith, the story of Luke and Leia’s birth, and Anakin’s descent into the Dark Side. The fact that very little of the story has any relevance to these conflicts is more damning than whether the droids were worthy adversaries.

Love the reviews!!! Just disagree on a few things. 🙂

The Uruk_Hai’s uncanny fighting ability can at least be explained away through magic, because Tolkien was never stupid enough to make it work via microbes.

I like the battel droide

There’s a conspiracy theory I heard that the whole reason George made the prequels is to show how shitty the old republic was. After the 6’th movie there was an invasion by a species that TURNS PLANETS INTO ORGANIC SHIPS IN A MATTER OF DAYS! If Palpatine knew this in advance then it’d be freaking genius to overthrow the republic to PROTECT IT. Jesus Christ look how retarded both the senate and the Jedi are in dealing with a bunch of fucking retarded droids. The Empire has trillions of troops and has a station that can BLOW UP motherfucking planets, ya know, ones that could’ve been turned into genocidal spaceships. But yeah, the sith are the bad guys, the rebellion just caused the genocides of a dozen or so species.

I think there might have been an earlier draft where it’s explained that the Trade Federation is an alliance of the most wealthy planets, and the Sith are manipulating them through their greed to destroy the Republic from within, and Padme is a threat because she’s trying to make a counter-alliance. This would explain their name, their robot armies, and their desire to kill Padme.

It seems to me like what they should have done is not make the Jedi avoid romance, instead they should avoid politics. Like they could make Anakin secretly have a crush on Senator Padme who is organizing a counter-alliance against the Trade Federation and gets kidnapped by the apprentice Sith because Palpatine is backing the Trade Federation to destroy the Republic from within, so Anakin will agree to help the Republic save Padme using the alias ‘Darth Vader’ so the Jedi won’t know, but he’s not powerful enough to do it, and Palpatine is drawn by his Force and his immense rage and convinces him to become his apprentice with the promise of godlike power without realizing that this will result in the death of his other apprentice, and this causes Anakin to become Darth Vader permanently, and also married to Padme and worshipped by the Republic as their savior, so Palpatine decides to abandon the Trade Federation and use his new apprentice to weasel his way into the Republic, meanwhile the Jedi have figured out the Darth Vader thing by now and come to stop it but Anakin personally slaughters them all, except Yoda who’s too powerful and Obi-Wan who was the only Jedi he actually knew personally, but using that much Force in one battle nearly kills him so the Republic builds him the suit, and the two remaining Jedis flee and turn the Trade Federation into the Rebel Alliance, eventually joined by Padme who flees with her and Anakin’s kids when Palpatine turns the Republic into the Empire.

Yeah that is fucked up. I think she’s supposed to be like seven, eight, or nine years older. I always thought she was a bit of a cougar. But what you pointed out makes no sense.

tropes are not bad.

too long, not gonna listen.

dear butthurt basement dweller: it helps to actually explain and rationalize your accusations and criticisms of a movie. not bring up a point and immediately cut away to some long winded rant that only serves to make fun of it, never once delivering any message or comparative reasoning to support your original point.

when you actually do manage to make a reasonable point, you fail to realize that it is just another COMMON movie fallacy. on this note, for every whining you have against TPM, I could find the same criticism in the original trilogy. it was full of just as many tropes and irrational decisions… the only difference is you choose to deny that out of fandom.

this isn’t any sort of a review, it’s an hour of you crying because you don’t like anything new. the mere fact you went into seeing this movie with an already preconceived notion that it was going to suck, should be reason enough to dismiss any possibility of sound criticism.

Dear Plinkett reviewers:

You owe me money for underwear. If I continue to defecate myself while laughing at your fricken reviews, I will be forced to bring a class action law suit against you. In accordance with federal law, I am required to inform you that voicing opinions and clerical facts which are in direct opposition to the fan’s views of the prequel trilogy is deemed by myself to be peanut butter fucking hilarious. Please continue the great work.

Oh, and also….Vagina

i have not laughed this much in a very very long time. my room mates actually came in wondering if i was ok. haha!

would have worked a lot better if anakin just rose through the ranks of the jedi while dealing with the clone wars alongside obi wan, leaving the prequels on a high note and forcing us to fill in the blanks as far as his transition into darth vader. the clone wars could have been something a lot more emotional- like maybe the clones were all abominations created by a widowed scientist, trying to resurrect his lost love- they’re all mutated horrors and this causes the galactic senate to intervene- creating a WWI-esque conflict- the senate occupying planet after planet to continue their manhunt until the alliance fractures- with planets pointing fingers and forming ententes. war threatens to break out add ravage the galaxy, which all serves as a backdrop to the quest that obi and anakin embark on, hoping to find the scientist and pull the galaxy back from the brink. the scientist could even have been long dead by the time they find him- the victory of the jedi is incomplete and we’re left with a galaxy barely held together with tense, one-eye-open alliances.

Too bad, because if you really like good movies and good pulp science fiction, Empire is probably the most enjoyable — unless you really, really hate cliffhangers.

That check from Lucas Films clear yet?

and then suddenly worf had a purple space bazooka

Please review The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and tear that awful monument to mediocrity TO F*CKING SHREDS!

suck a fat cock you retarded fucking cum dumpster

wow, I never realized how bad this movie is.
I watched it in the theater with my parents back then when it came out and all i remembered was jar jar binks, pod racing and the final battle with the guy with double-bladed lightsaber…
And they made a 3d version of this??

At 23:09 of part 2 are they looking out a window or is that supposed to be a viewscreen? It looks like a window to me, but they are looking out it at an upward angle and seeing straight down into the street.

Remember when Jar Jar spits out that weird shovel headed salamander? The thing that I just remembered is why, He spits it out because he finds out how much it costs. How does a fucking moron from an insular society who has lived in the fucking woods alone for years understand the currency of a planet he probably hadn’t heard of before? He most likely has a very basic understanding of non gungan naboo culture if that. So yeah, very minor point but I’ve just been realising how little time goes by between stupid shit in this movie.

Oh, this is just great. A stupid review site full of nerdy stupid explanations trying to put some value to stupid flaws, just because they’re old.

Let’s just start once again the bullshit-counter job:

First of all, I’m not even start defending the script of Phantom Menace in general. It is a great movie with great story. I’ll just comment your reasons.

THE NEED OF A PROTAGONIST: the audience needs a protagonist? Who the hell told you that? You are bound to the past, where all action movies followed the very same linear structure, repeated over and over again due to lack of creativity. Only 1 person and his problems filling the whole picture.

The most stupid things on the older movies was the centering around Luke. Nobody knew shit about the rest of the galaxy. What is the Senate? Where is it? Empire of what? You see Dagobah, Hoth, Tattoine and Endor, and none of them has any trace of government. The only place you see that has the slight sign of administration is Bespin, and that’s not even an important place in the whole galaxy.

From that you have to imagine how is the rest of the galaxy. I remember that when I was a kid, most people used to think that the whole Empire was just an empire of spaceships that dominated underdeveloped planets, and that’s all (and the worst thing is that according to IV, V and VI, that’s acceptable).

Even more, the whole universe is at war but all you see is the adventures of Luke. How stupid is that? I can’t blame Lucas. He said himself that he regrets not having the tech or money to make the story as wide as it should be at the time. Centering on Luke is a limitation, not something to be praised. The I, II and III rightfully placed the characters stories below or at least in the same level as the rest of the universe, what should’ve been done to the IV, V and VI as well.

Sorry, but all I see here is someone complaining about not having a boring 1 person story, about a single individual saving the whole universe in his every move, what is really ridiculous to think even for a country what to say for a whole galaxy. I’m really glad that Lucas fixed that, and that now I can see that the whole galaxy is not made of 1 person.

DESCRIPTION OF CHARACTERS: I’ll pretty much get into your game.

Han Solo: he’s a rogue. He got a strange facial expression and keeps uninitentionally smilling due to lack of interpretation from H. Ford (that only do serious roles). All of his faces are overly expressed, like he is doing mimics, with too widely opened eyes (like japanese theater, wich is great, but totally incoherent for a movie). From the whole cast, he was the only one that made me see that it was an actor, not a character (always speaking as if there was a third person seeing him act).

Qui Gon: he is very calm and experienced. Know what to do even at the worst time possible, and is very patient. Everything is under his control but if something isn’t, he doesn’t mind breaking some rules and being a little rebel if he think it’s needed for a greater good. That just perfectly fits the personality Obi-Wan shows in the older movies. The only difference is that the old Obi-Wan is not a rebel in any way, since there is no Jedi Order.

C3PO: just a clown, nothing more. It is exactly the same role played by Jar Jar, or even by himself on the I, II and III.

Amidala: very serious and focused person. She can endure any hardship with the same fearless determination. She appears to have no feelings while leading her planet, but she is sweet, smart and corageus when she is not in the rule of queen os senator, and this is great.

Actually, I can’t even imagine a queen being any other way. What should she be? Sterical and stubborn like Leia? Her image is the same as Angela Merkel’s or Queen Elizabeth’s. Also, does everyone in your world must have a non-regular behaviour
somehow? Maybe you don’t know serious people, but they do exist.

Also, stop asking morons what they think about the sagas, ask someone that at least understood the movies.

Let’s just make another question game, shall we?

Describe the galaxy in the 2 trilogies without describing specifically any planet:

I, II and III: a bible of content.

IV, V and VI: …nothing, wait, …Hoth?

STORY: Let me see… the whole galaxy is at piece and you want a pointless action scene at the beginning of Phantom Menace? How ridiculous is that? You want action at the beginning? Watch Revenge of the Sith and fill your eyes with grandiosity and shame for ever having said that you’ve seen a great space battle before.

Asnwer me this: Based only in the IV, V and VI, how does the galaxy work? What does a Jedi do? The answer is silence, because THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE IN THE OLDER TRILOGY. I believe you thought that a Jedi would just go wherever crime is and destroy everyone, like a super hero (so naive if you’re more than 15yo). Lucas spent some time showing everyone what is the galaxy and what a Jedi do and all you can do is complain about not having a battle? Go watch Braddock, damn it!

The I, II and III are so full of iformation because the have to set their own background and the background of the older trilogy, that was so incomplete. The older trilogy could even be renamed to “The Space Adventures of Luke Skywalker” and IT WOULD FIT because there is nothing else to the movie!

Now try to do that to the new trilogy… You can’t, and you know why? Because there are many important facts and characters happening everywhere in the galaxy, covered all the time in different takes. The movie is rich. The real STAR WARS can only be seen in the I, II and III, because the old movies don’t have a galaxy, only 4 or 5 unexplored planets 1 moon and some teddy bears.

I’m stopping here, because if I go on, I’ll find much more flaws on your review (much more than I thought). But at least, I’ll just explain your point of view.

Back in the 70’s-80’s, science fiction wasn’t so explored as it is today, and that’s a great part of the success of A New Hope. The whole movie was like nothing you’ve ever seen before. The feeling that you must have felt when you saw it on the theater must have been incredible, almost impossible to describe. I envy you, for I’ve never seen those movies in a theather, since I was born in 1980.

Unfortunately, that feeling clouded your judgement, because you expected the same feeling in the new saga, and that’s impossible, because science fiction and aliens are just a very commom subject today.

Also, you have the “oldman’s revolt”. I created the name, but It is a very well known syndrome where old people desperately try to enrich their youth to see it as fasr superior to today’s youth (even young people that hates nowadays life style can have that syndrome). That makes you love every single piece of shit from the past, even flaws and mistakes.

Because of that feeling, you tend to say that everything that was old is better, but look at yourself! You are complaining about the new movies because a queen does look like a queen and a Jedi Master does look like a Jedi Master. or even because you are being filled with information about the galaxy, politics, governments, species, knowledge… That’s just absurd. You praise the incomplete and despises what is well described.

I know this is not Lucas’ fault. He already said that he didn’t have the money or tech to make the old movies as wide as they should be, but limitiations are to be just respected, not praised, so I tend to overlook these flaws.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really confident that I’m one of the biggest fans Star Wars will ever have, but even so, Its hard to let pass things like:

– Lack of good choreographers: this was responsible by horrible fight between Old Kenobi and Vader. Obi-Wan looked like an old man using a cane to scare off a dog and made me think that a Jedi was a piece of shit, lightsaber and all. That was not dramatic, but a shit fight. Also Han shaking his blaster while shooting is pretty ridiculous (looks like a kid saying bang!)

– Characters breathing in space (Solo and crew): no comments…

– Lack of background of the rest of the galaxy, only fucking Luke: I’ve said enough about this already.

– Ridiculous outfits: specially those turtle helmets and the plastic armor of the storm troopers.

Now, you have to learn that what is old is not necessarily good. Some things are, but not everything. Also, all the old saga was incomplete and full of flaws due to lack of time, money and expertise, and nothing of that happenend to the new saga, made as Lucas intended Star Was to be.

Everything on the new movies is made to fix the old olnes and make everything a whole with sense. They even refused to use CG to make the wookiees, just to avoid creating a big gap between them and that poorly made Chewbacca costume from the old Saga. If something is wrong, is in the old movies, not in the new ones.

Stop loving crap, and start fundamenting your opinions in a more solid way, aside from your own feelings of revolt.

Simpletons, please, keep out of this argument. Go watch reality shows, which suits more your level…

My Star Wars Prequel Ideas, I just made up right now

Yoda, Obi-Wan, the republic, Stormtroopers/ Republic army and the rest of the Jedi order are fighting a massive galactic war, with a Separatist army that’s rumored to be led by a pair of Sith warriors. Obi-Wan and Yoda are among a group of Jedi trying to find more leads into this mystery, while other Jedi fight the Separatist group. They chase leads on dangerous, grimy, crime/ Separatist controlled planets looking for leads.

They finally find the Sith Apprentice and a part of the Separatist army on an Urban planet. Obi-Wan and Yoda try to kill him, and discover that the apprentice and his team have been laying the groundwork for a full scale invasion. Yoda and Obi-Wan have to get off the planet to send word to the council.

They search the city for an adequete pilot, scince they don’t have enough credits to buy a new ship, and Yoda forbids stealing one even thogh Obi-Wan suggests it. They hear about a great pilot known as Anakin. They find Anakin who’s supprisingly 15-16 ish. Anakin is street smart, and sly, as well as arrogant. But Yoda senses an extreme potential in the force within Anakin. Yoda and Obi-Wan start training him, hoping he might be a good ally. They have to convince the council to let them do so, given Anakins age.

The chancellor refuses to send support to the system, but is assasinated (assasin made it look like an accident.) Palpatine rises to power and decides to send support to the planet, hoping to gain popularity and even more power through a military win. The planet is liberated from the Separatists but the Sith gets away. Anakin has not reached his potential, but he adapted to the force very rapidly.

Palpatine aka Darth Sidious has a few conversations with his apprentice throughout the movie. This explains Palpatines goal of seizing complete control of the Republic and restoring Sith dominance in the galaxy. He hopes to do so by establishing a fake Separatist/rebel army to create enough tension in the galaxy to expose the undecisive, democratic senate. He will gain his power this way until he has the reigns. While the participants in the rebellion beleive it to be a true revolution, they don’t know it’s true purpose.

That’s the end of number one.

The only real use of three-dimensional space in the movies is Han Solo dropping down directly over the two-meter exhaust port to save Luke. If the Rebels had thought of that, they wouldn’t have had to spend so much time being shot at by the Death Star. Basically they unneccesarily sent ships, pilots and droids into a kill zone for several minutes before bothering to approach the target. Han earned his medal.

Wow, thats almost like what actually happened. You, no doubt, have the gift of delusions of grandeur. Get a grip jackass.

i laughed at all the people who didnt get the joke.

The whole “quite rebellion” is not exactly a very good idea, because being different is permitted to some point. It’s never said in the movies, but as I vaguely remember from the books Qui Gon Jinn was a bit of rebel himself and often disagreed with Jedi council. In fact that’s why he wore a long hair (which supposedly is prohibited by the Jedi code or something).

there wasn’t a joke….I wonder what you think you’re laughing at

If you like these review you will really like this video;
http://youtu.be/oxr1af8qq1o

If Jedi aren’t allowed to love, then how do they have kids

FYI, the Yogscast, more specifically Simon, made a reference to this review in their latest video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=3Ah4psEra5g#t=484s

the pizza roll scene is genuinely creepy!

Seems like ur nitpicking. I really like you fanboys ur never happy. Honestly idk why ur bitching. I liked it a lot. In fact it’s better than the first 3.

Sex does not require love. Although I personally recommend it.

We surrender to your advanced knowledge of storytelling and movie making. All hail Sage! Your name sucks, get over yourself.

Obiwan discovers Anakin as a 17 year old pod racing
sensation on Tatooine. Hot tempered Anakin
is using his innate capabilities with the force to win, which attracts the attention
of sith confederates. Obiwan senses the
need to take Anakin on as an apprentice to prevent a disaster. Against the council (which has been
infiltrated with Sith Lords), Yoda sides with obiwan, and Anakin begins secret
training. Obiwan marries Padme (yes, Obiwan). Anakin rockets to success as a Jedi, until
his mother dies (something he attributes to Obiwan and the Jedi) and he falls in love with Padme and eventually
seduces her. Obiwan is furious and
drives off Anakin, who is heartbroken and angry, susceptible to the dark side. He
sides with the Sith to take his revenge. Padme is sent to Dagobah under Yoda’s
protection when Jedis start dying. Etc. Ben
knows that Luke and Leia are not his children.
It’s a statement to his character that trains Luke and unites him with Anakin. BTW- that’s another thing I’d change – I’d
have Ben Kenobi involved way earlier in looks life since he’s keen on avoiding
the same disaster he had with Anakin.

The part about the bet was dumb. It wasn’t that complicated…

The prequels sucked.

Cypress Hill – Insane in the Membrane

To be charitable to Lucas, your interest in the wider universe sounds like what I’ve always assumed about the guy — he was fascinated by the big picture in his head.

The first problem is either you make a fictional almanac or you make a work of drama. Even if Lucas’ writing were competent, plots are all about human interest and pacing — if you set out to tell a story, the audience is going to expect a story, not a recitation of indices.

The second problem is that Lucas’ understanding of his world is and was always nebulous — the prequels feel like recycled fan-fic because it was creative people around him who brought the original Star Wars movies to life by introducing their own interpretations, suggestions and challenges. Lucas was the spark, sure, but his one-man show proved he was nothing more.

I have read some of suggestions for a different version of Star Wars prequels. Well here is my suggestion. After the title crawl, an organian ship bursts onto the screens as it drops out of hyper-space. Immediately you can tell that the ship is in distress as the lights and power flicker on the ship and it is trailing smoke. The two man cockpit shows to pilots, one is franticly pulling up star charts, while the other hitting buttoms to keep the ship operational and asking “Where did we end up?”. The other explains, “We’re about 25 parsecs from our destination. We’re not going to making it are we.” The other explains, “Without, hyper drive we’re not going anywhere. Find us a place to put down quick, They’re right on our tail.” Then the one looking at the star maps points to a planet. The ship cruises toward the planet. Suddenly another ship drops out of hyperspace. Its roughly the same size but with different marking and configuration. The crippled ship enters the atmosphere of a desolate desert planet, Tattooine. The ship crashes just outside a city. The pilots abandon the ship grabbing a damaged and inoperable asto-mech droid as they escape to smoldering wreckage. They carry the droid on a gaurney as they head toward the city in the distance.
The two men try to find an in where they can hide and none of the locals will say anything. Once they secure a place to hide they look for a repair shop to get the droid fixed. Meanwhile the pursuing ship lands near the wreckage of the first. Two men in long robes exit the ship and begin investigating the wreckage. Jawas and local people scavenge about the ship. The two hooded men are a young Obiwan and Mace Windu, maybe Qui-gan.
That’s just a start.
Essentially, the plot would be that the pilots of the organa ship are sabotuers. The damages droid is R2-D2. One of the men knows the ways of the force. Obiwan and Mace chase the men down and catch up to them, after a long foot chase through the crowded city, with the sabotuers shooting at them and the Jedi deflecting them while trying to protect civilians. (NO Stupid Super Speed Running) They corner the vilians were one pulls out a lightsaber and they duel. But civilians get in the way and the sith endangers them, just at that moment a young man, a street performer, intercedes because his mother and grand-mother are under threat. He uses great acrobatic skills and defeats the Sith. The Jedi are amazed, the force is strong with him, this simple street performer, from poor means a begger using his great powers and skill to support his family, his mother and grandmother. He is Anikin Skywalker. (No Stupid Little Kid) Anakin, knows about the force but his family was always too poor to do anything about it. But Anakin is confused by the evil force user, the Sith. Mace explains that Long ago, before men ever counted the days. there were 2 kinds of people force users and regular people. Some force users were kind and generous, and others were selfish. But they all used the force for personal gains. Later as societies grew, force users were made into kings. Some kings were just others were corrupt. Finally some forcer users studied the force deeply and became priests. They realized that the force was in all things and was meant to be user for the good of all people collectively. But others disagreed, they felt what was the use of having these powers if they couldn’t use them to benefit their own tribe or kingdom or family. There was a great divide and the priests became known as Jedi and others became Sith. Obiwan is confused because there should be no more Sith.
Anakin joins the Jedis as they travel to Corrisant to report their finding and recover what R2 was carrying. The information he was carrying was from Queen Amadala. It was the notification of a plot on the part of a group of star systems to succeed from the Republic and form a Separatist group. Why, because of their lack of representation in the Senate. These star systems are all corporate, and industrial manufacturing planets. Planets of Commerce and wealth. They want majority representation, But the Republic holds to equal representation. The Seperatists want majority rule in order to set policies in their favor, to drive down wages and increase their assets. The Separatists are pressuring her star system of Organa (NOT Naboo, No Jar Jar) to join their group, because they are a critical industrial system, they’re using old gangster tactics or pressure and intimidation. No occupying forces just lobbyists and ambassadors of the planet’s they represent following her around and constantly approaching her when she is talking to other representatives to eaves drop on their conversation. They keep trying to reason with her to support them, and that they have the right to form their own coalition. The Jedi were to rendezvous with the Organain ship in secret, but it was taken over by Separatists As the pilots were taking the info to their leaders as proof that Amadala had sold them out. Luckily they intercepted the ship and with Anakin’s help they had stopped the bad guys from exposing Amadala testamony about the Separatists to the Separatists. Anakin explains that being from an outlaying planet, these corporate planets use Tattoonie for labor and pay them nothing. These Separatist want to exploit other Star systems the same way. (NO Boring Senate Meeting) They induct Anakin into the Jedi order and Obiwan is to begin training him. (No Prophecy) Yoda is proud of Obiwan’s progress. Obi is Yoda’s student. They all go Organa, (Obiwan, Mace, maybe Qui-gan, Anakin, and R2) to support the Queen and her people from the Separatists pressure and assault.
They sneak in to speak to the Queen and find that Sith influence is involved with the Separatists. Then when they confront to Separatists they find that they have a small detachment of about 20 cloned human soldiers with them. (Nice lazer verses saber battle, No goofy Gungans) Anakin personally rescues Amadala from the fighting and immediately he puts the moves on her and she likes him too. They share a kiss. (The Jedi are NOT Forbidding to Love or Marry) But if they do marry they are not allowed to have advanced training. That would conflict with their devotions. You cannot serve 2 masters.

In part 2 you could have Obi trying to pressure Anakin to not take his relationship with Amadala too seriously, but Anakin has skill and powers and potiential to get a great Jedi Master. Obi insists that because Anakin is so strong with the force, he owns it to himself to reach his fullest potiential. But Anakin is already falling for Padame, and she with him. (Don’t have Anakin be a bad apple from the start. He should be idealistic and smooth and very likable with the ladies.)
Anyway, as Anakin leads Padame away from the fighting they get confronted by another Sith. Anakin has no light-saber. But must use his skill to fight the Sith. Obiwan sees Anakin fighting then joins him in fighting the Sith. Anakin distracts him while Obiwan fight shim. Mace and Qui-gan run to join but are detained by the soldiers. The Sith is almost cornered and disarmed when he take Anakin hostage. Just as Anakin escapes the Sith is able to kill Qui-gan. Then before being disarmed by Obiwan, Mace, and Anakin, who takes up Qui-gan’s saber, the sith commits suicide.
At the end Organa is placed under the exclusive protection of the Republic’s Space flight guard, to prevent any retaliation by the Separatists. The Republic and the Jedi are worried about the proliferation of Sith knights and the evidence that the Separatists have clone soldiers already, and maybe planning to move against the Republic if they have enough clone soldiers.

Part 2 should open with the Separatist’s first all out attack on outlaying Star systems and occupying them as they push their way towards the core systems. This attack comes just a month before the supreme chancellor’s re-election. The Chancellor declares a state of emergency and deploys Republic forces to try to retake the occupied systems. One of the occupied systems is Tattoonie. Anakin has been sending his stipends and allowance to support the family during his early Jedi training.
Palpatine, Senator of Organa runs for office and criticizes the Chancellor for not acting sooner to reconcile the Separatists or deal with them before this heinous attack. He claims that the Chancellors inaction has led them to war. The Chancellor argues that there may still be time to negotiate with the Separatists; that we need not go to war. But Palpatine argues that we are in a state of war and that we must act now to crush the Separatist movement before it destroys the Republic. Had the chancellor done so earlier, this war would not have engulfed the Republic. The Chancellor disputes that has he acted that way earlier, we would have been plunged into war sooner. War would not have been averted. He argues that Palpatine is war mongering. Plapatine claims that Chancellor is the war monger for threatening the Separatists instead of reconciling them. (Which is what the Chancellor has been doing) Palpatine is using double speak, and has been inciting the Separatists not to reconcile with the Republic and holding off an attack until election time was close.
Meanwhile Anakin is having meditation lessons with Obiwan. Obiwan explains that when the force is in harmony, it flows like a river, seeping into every corner of existence. Filling all living things up, and where ever the force flows life grows. Obi tells Anakin the force is strong with him because of where he is from. A place that was weak, a place missing life. So the force flowed into him to make life flourish in the desert. The force knows where it is needed. But Yodi interrupts and tells Obi that something is interrupting the flow of the force. Obi agrees they can all feel a disturbance in the force. Something like a great stone is scattering the flow of the force. The force cannot flow freely where it is needed most. The strength of Anakin’s force makes him a good candidate to restore the balance of the force. It seems the force chose him for this. But Anakin is distracted, his mind is on Padame and he worries about his mother under Separatist occupation.

Your Star Trek review where you went to great lengths to defend that fad hacker Abrams was most disappoint.

I am boycotting all future reviews by you of that particular movie.
Sorry. Learn your lesson.

It’s because Lucas don’t think of the star wars universe like we do. We perceived it mostly trough games, comic books and the new movies, where the force/training level of the characters matter. But in reality, in the original trilogy your power level didn’t matter so much as the motivation for your character. That’s why they send a vulnerable princess in disguise to jaba’s lair first instead of sending the jedi knight to fuck everyone up and steal Solo’s tablet. I think the new movies should be directed at the new audience, because the old themes from the original trilogy would certainly alienate us more logic and action-craving people and the usual moviegoing nowadays audience. It would be a sure hit. I hope J.J. Abrahams does something like that, but with great streamlined character development and emotion his work is known for.

LMAO

anybody who actually liked these films comes from what I like to call the “instant gratification generation” It’s a generation that dislikes things like; plot, exposition, story development, protagonists, antagonists, plot….these things mean shit to this generation because it’s too intangible they want explosions and sparkling vampires and shitty sci fi revamps that don’t hold a candle to the originals because if they did then this generation would find that shit boring as well…

Good point, but none of the Jedi really act like they should in the prequels, so, let’s just say it’s bad writing and be done with it 😉

Nobody cares.

It’s explained in the attack of the clones whenever dooku captures obi-wan. That’s one thing about the prequels. They really require that you watch all 3 for them to make sense and it can be difficult to catch everything.

I think you’ve got it completely backwards. The review takes itself extremely seriously, but inserts comedy constantly to make it seem like it doesn’t. The comedy keeps you engaged while the points are hammered home.

You may not have noticed – but your brain did.

I always assumed they had to go down the trench because there were too many defense turrets along the surface to approach from that direction.

Oddly enough there were even turrets in the trench.

tl;dr

You should open a dictionary and look up the definition of the word “irony”.

He’s the main character on paper, but he is not integral to anything that actually happens. You could replace him with ANY Jedi if it wasn’t for the 3 originals. Most of his scenes are also not to progress the plot but to whine and bitch.

Why did you post a complaint of a Star Trek review on a review of The Phantom Menace? Also, you left the “ing” off of the end of “disappoint”. That makes you look like a retard.
Sorry. Learn your lesson.

I watch this every few months, it is pure gold.

drop the ads damnit. I mean I’m still going to watch, but its annoying as shit

Oh? Oh……..oh.

I love every Mr Plinkett review. Perceptive, fun and witty. Helps me understand why I despise this crap…

Sorry but you’re wrong. This review summed things up from how a film should be made. Your first line to defend this film against this review was: the audience needs a protagonist? Who the hell told you that?

I stopped reading there because you obviously have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. Almost every engaging movie has a central character we know more about than the other characters in the film. This review explains this. It spends 5 to 10 minutes establishing this point. Are you mental?

Stop using synonyms and spell check to sound smarter than you actually are. It doesn’t help the fact that you are calling everybody here nerds and morons for just being here when YOU are here spending more time trying to defend shit that actually makes no sense to anybody, other than the ‘fanboys’ who convince themselves that it makes sense by breaking it down and reading the books and so on.

In closing; Fuck off.

i was reading your post and then you made me wince strongly with ‘mace windu”, and you completely lost me at ‘quigon’… sorry but samuel jackson should be black-listed from ever appearing in another star wars movie, and so should liam ‘the drunk’ neeson. these 2 were part of the problem with menace.

u r either sick, or a troll… either way u’r sick.. get some help.

Oh stop it, you can open up the video in VLC or download it with the right tools.

oh god please dont you guys dare make money!

He doesn’t do anything he has no arc. He sits around all movie adds no insight teaches no one anything and is there to get mad and beat darth maul at the end. In fact if you remove him from the movie… nothing changes. Just have qui gon beat maul.

oh by the way you should probably send redlettermedia a check. I mean if you’re serious about getting rid of ads. Or do you just thing things you want should be free?

You know he doesn’t know how to do that. I would bet money he doesn’t even have VLC on his computer

I desperately hope you’re being sarcastic.

I was just watching Menace again and was struck by Obi-Wan’s illogical reaction to their first encounter with Darth Maul, just before they leave Tatooine. So Obi-Wan was in the ship expecting the return of his master when suddenly the security guy walks in saying “Qui-Gon is in trouble.” Obi-Wan then calmly (already a huge mistake) walks towards the windshield and sees a guy who has come out of nowhere carrying a light saber and attacking Qui-Gon. Later we learn at the Jedi council that the Sith have been extinct for a thousand years, thus neither Obi-Wan nor Qui-Gon have ever seen one. So what should be going through Obi-Wan’s head when he saw the light saber fight? “Who the fuck is that guy? I probably know him because his is obviously a Jedi knight, but why in the hell would he attack Qui-Gon? What was he doing in the middle of the desert to begin with? I must get out there immediately and find out who is this guy!”. But instead he sits at a chair and says: “Take off. Over there, fly low.” This is probably the first time he has ever seen a light saber duel for real, and he is not even slightly impressed by it.

“Eat lead comy” lol

Something that never really occurred to me about Yoda in this movie. It was awkward seeing him involved with politics and handing out titles etc. He was much more of an impactful character when he was a fugitive and tossed aside on a dumpy planet. It was a much better way to show how his power didn’t depend on the typical trappings of the world. To see Yoda all mixed up with political intrigue diminished what made him such a memorable character.

Your reviews are always great! You should definitely do a movie review on Harry Potter! Pick the one you think is the worst and do what you do best! I would like to see you do a review on Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1 & 2. For some reason , a lot of fans have found it disappointing. Please Consider It! Thanks!!

It’s hard to keep track of story logic when the finished script is also the first draft, scrawled on the backs of Applebee’s napkins.

Wasn’t Akira Kurosawa originally included in that list of directors?

True, but I think the point was that it could have just been Anakin vs the ship since that’s the whole point anyways. What’s even the point of talking about the entry fee?

Hey
These videos are free to watch. You get 15 Mr Plinkett reviews, ~30 hours of Half in the Bag content, 5 feature films, and a bunch of other stuff.
Do you think all this is free to make? Do you think 100 hours of scripted, edited video with multiple actors and sets just spring into existence on their own? Do you know how stuff works?
This is all paid for by ads. No ads, no show. So kindly shut up and enjoy the free videos.

I need Bill Cosby to buy all rights to Episode I and bury it way beneath wherever he buried the Our Gang/Little Rascals series.

There is an albino Namekian standing behind you.

….kill it like the rest.

The disability to describe Ep 1 characters looked so very fake, while I do agree that they had little character, the problem was that the character they had was stereotypical, either the public that was questioned was faking it to make a point or they haven’t seen the movie properly to speak of it’s characters or just plain silly…

Can YOU describe any of those characters from the prequels without reference to anything physical about them or what they do in the movie?

Man, I’m sick of kids trying to defend these movies. Everyone thought they were shit when they came out and a reappraisal just continues to confirm how shit they are.

Rich: “That is going to be fucking impossible because she (Amidala) doesn’t HAVE a character.” hee hee

yes the original trilogy was better but come on man it really wasn’t THAT bad. AND no a new hope’s lightsaber battle was in NO WAY more interesting than revenge of the sith’s with obi-wan and Anakin that’s ridiculus. youre also a really weird fucking dude who sounds like a constipated fat guy with down syndrome.

You win the dumbass of the year award

Are we watching the same review?

You need someone to explain to you why it’s bad for a piece of fiction to be incoherent and illogical? Really?

That’s like asking someone to explain why the smell of flowers is “better” than the smell of rotten eggs. If you don’t get it, you’re an alien.

lol why are you plugging this website so hard?

There are at least 3 different movie reviews on this site that detail exactly how much of an idiot you are.

It really isn’t though

90% sure this guy is bitter because he’s just Mr.Plinkett’s son.
http://www.gamnesia.com/member/151

I’m not bitter though… I loved the review. What I said above was my only complaint, and if I remember correctly, they ended up addressing it anyway. The plot holes cause confusion when you’re watching the movie, making it more difficult to be invested in what’s going on since you’re always questioning it.

Or how basic design choices and character actions make no fucking sense. That isn’t the same as pointing out plot holes.

slut

Thank you. That’s exactly the kind of reply I was hoping for.

That blockade was also completely useless. Blockades are supposed to surround the area, that blockade on the other hand was like a ring in Saturn, They could escape from literally ANY other direction.

Late answer, but relevant: The Trade Federation IS an alliance of the most wealth corporations and planets, the Sith ARE manipulating them (read: Sidious) through their greed to destroy the Republic from within and they want Padme dead because Nute Gunray (the head honcho of the TF) feels offended by her gall to capture him in the first movie. It also explains their name (they are an alliance of the biggest manufacturers, traders and bankers of the galaxy), their droid armies (since they have the backing of several huge manufacturing firms) and their desire to kill Padme in particular.

It’s just that the movies have a narrative that suffers from ADD and refuses to explain anything, instead opting to throw digital shit at the audience and hopes that they forget about the horribly storytelling.

And then the battle droids are complete rubbish. Lucas doesn’t give appropriate exposition about the threat, and couldn’t back it up with substantial danger and tension even if he did.

Everyone in the movie is stupid, so the core plot is driven by idiots, making the core plot stupid too, making the movie maker … well you get it.

Gborr, you dream of a better movie that was never made, and I’d pay to see that movie.

At one point I actually had a checklist of small things that should have been changed to make the Phantom Menace work. Stuff like:

-Explain the Trade Federation as seen above.
-Explain that the Naboo queen is actually only a diplomatic figurehead who periodically gets chose from the noble families and stripped from the title at a certain age because of stupid traditions.
-Make it so that the Trade Federation doesn’t want to kill Qui Gon and Obi wan outright but only bear down on them when they try to snoop around the hangar bay and notice the invasion force.
-Make Qui Gon very knowledgeable and flexible and make Obi Wan very impulsive with a rigid moral fiber.
-Keep Jar-Jar, but make him a pained man in exile instead of the silly clown. The funny accent can stay, it works as a juxtaposition.

-Explain the blockade the way I did somewhere around here (in short: the big ships are only there for interdiction-fields, the atmosphere is patrolled by fighter droids and the battleships are only retrofitted cargo haulers so they don’t have the firepower to stop a fast ship with good shields).
-Drop the bits with R2D2, especially the “thanking the droid” bit. He should be introduced either on Tatooine (they buy him to help with the repairs of the ship) or when they get back to Naboo as one of the fighter astromech droids Anakin bonds with.

-Introduce Darth Maul earlier and give him a simple, straightforward backstory of hating the Jedi and stalk the main group for a while.
-Make Anakin older, at least fourteen. Also make him less wide-eyed innocent and more jaded (he is a slave, for god’s sake!) and show him to be generally nice but manipulative from the get-go. Also make him want to become a Jedi so that he could get away from Tatooine.

-Drop the “Anakin made C3PO” stupidity. In fact, it would make sense if C3PO was on the queen’s ship (you know, protocol droid?) and he is taken to the planet in case they need translating.
-Drop the subplot about Qui Gon betting. Instead make Obi Wan do the bets (for money instead of the parts) behind his back and make Qui Gin chastise him for it -> Character development!
-Keep the midichlorians, but make them into an indicator instead of a means, aka. they are not allowing the use of the Force but are drawn to those strong in the Force. Also, don’t give it a numerical value, instead make Obi Wan say “The boy’s midichlorian count is very high. It’s comparable to Master Yoda’s.” and the Qui Gon respond “Strange. I didn’t feel it in him. He must have great untapped potential.”.

-Make it so that Padme stays on the ship and she only meets Anakin when he shows up to check the ship and see what parts are needed on Watto’s orders.
-Make the pod-race shorter and without the whole melodrama about the sabotage and whatnot. Just have Anakin use Watto’s pod-racer and barely win, that’s more than enough tension right there.
-Make it so that they win enough money to either buy both Anakin and Shmi or only Anakin and all the parts needed, and then make Shmi make the decision to stay behind in order to get her son out of there. Make Qui Gon and Obi Wan promise that they would get back to her.

-When Darth Maul first attacks the Jedi as they try to leave, have Qui Gon and Obi Wan be confused as hell and act a little sloppy. This is supposed to be the first time they have seen a Sith in generations and they are in no ways trained in direct saber-duels, so they should only barely escape or even get injured a little.
-Have two important scenes on the ship: Obi Wan bonding with Anakin, as they are not that far apart in age, and have Obi Wan acknowledge his potential and encourage him that the Jedi council would certainly see it as well. The other scene should be between Padme and Jar-Jar where they both voice their feelings of desperation and worry for their people and that they try to uphold a collected and cheery exterior so that they wouldn’t have to think about it.

-When they get to Coruscant, have multiple scenes detailing Qui Gon looking into the sith in the archives note how Maul seemed to be a skilled fighter yet his saber-technique was unusual and sloppy at times.
-Have the council refuse to train Anakin on the grounds of age emotional baggage and have Obi Wan protest the decision.
-When they return to Naboo, have Anakin stove away on the ship because he wants to prove himself. The rest of the scenes kind of work, but with less cutting between them.
-Have Anakin defy Qui Gon’s order to stay back and instead rush into the battle and get into one of the vacant Naboo fighters, originally planning to use the ship’s cannons to shoot at the droids on the ground, but then R2 gets attached and so Anakin gets the idea to actually follow the formation and fly the thing.

-When Darth Maul shows up, make the jedi have a little “oh crap!” moment, especially when he shows up his double-blader. Have Qui Gon note that it is just as he feared and that it is a type of lightsaber that was designed for duels between Force users, so he tells Obi Wan to make sure their attacks are synchronized so that they can keep him off-balance and won’t have to fight one on one,
-In space, have Anakin realize that the droid control ship’s shields momentarily shit down around the hangar when it dispatches new fighters and make him use the window of opportunity to fly in, fire all his proton torpedoes. The hit a reactor (just like in the actual movie) that temporarily disables the shields and disrupts the droids, giving the other fighters enough time to bombard the core of the ship and blow it up.
-In the fight between the two jedi and Maul, have things play out similarly, except at the end Maul separates them and starts sadistically mincing up the limbs of Qui Gon and then impaling him when he is only the ground, enraging Obi Wan. Then have Obi Wan rush in, bashing Maul over and over with his saber like it was a baseball bat, but then Maul starts to play with him as well, injuring his leg. The pain makes Obi Wan momentarily focus, remembering Qui Gon’s note about how the sith’s technique with a single blade was sloppy, and in a sudden spark of inspiration he lunges up, force-pulls the fallen jedi’s saber, and while blocking with his own he uses it to cut the hilt of Maul’s saber in half. Not expecting this, Maul stumbles backwards, and then drops one of the half-sabers, but by that time Obi Wan uses the two blades in his hands to slice him in half while he is too distracted to defend properly, the force-pushes the two halves into the pit with a roar.

-Have the ending play out as in the movie, with the Jadi council grudgingly allowing Obi Wan to train Anakin after he is promoted, and then end with the two of them returning to Tatooine to free Shmi. Once they free her, she says she want to stay behind because all her friends are here, so she says goodbye to Anakin who is already in a robe at this point and promises her that by the next time she sees him, he is going to be the greatest jedi who ever lived, and cue credits while the camera pans up to the twin suns and creating a thematic bridge with Luke leaving his old life behind in New Hope.

BAM, there you go, a tolerable movie right there.

oh! i’m sorry then. i didn’t know, i actually thought it was a joke or something

Clarify. Is Lucas now the random asshat on the internet for not bothering to plug these holes with the most basic of expository dialogue?

Hey, I can do it too.

Qui-Gon: An alcoholic who refuses to go into space rehab against Yoda’s advice. Always fucking up the missions with his lack of common sense.

Padme: A young girl from a society where they have to lobotomize future royalty, and teach them to be as one dimensional as possible for political reasons.

Obi-Wan: A whiner who doesn’t really care about anything the Jedi do and has been fighting to get out his whole life. He likes to swing laser swords, though, so he pretends to care.

Anakin: A bad actor who went insane from slavery to the extent that he runs around yelling yippee while he lives in slavery.

And I think mine have far more evidence from the movie.

I miss Gary Kurtz. He was probably one of only two people who could keep Lucas from disappearing up his own ass.

Plinkett’s a smart man who has genuine standards for good storytelling.

One of Lucasfilm’s many mistakes was in allowing consumers to actually view the production process in the DVD extras. Watching Lucas’ department chiefs repeatedly swap nervous glances while they nod enthusiastically at his every change-of-mind about non-story details, reminds me of nothing less than outtakes from “The Office.”

The random asshat was supposed to be me, a random guy from the net who could still do a better job at pluggin up said plot-holes from his arm-chair while Lucas supposedly had his “directing genius” and a hundred assistants and still failed to do so. So yeah, I still hold that 0-1 score. 😛

Wow Gborr, I can see this movie play in my mind while I’m reading your comment… and it’s way better than Lucas’ version! I wish it were made someday, I’d pay to watch it. Hats off to you! 🙂

>_> really?

Now I understand why people on Tumblr complain about Plinkett… They actually think it’s a real person.

Clearly sarcasm is not understood here.

Look mate, you’re making a whole lot of good points and you know what the hell are you talking about… But your video is unwatchable! I won’t go as far as to suggest it’s worse than the prequels (don’t want to end up in your basement) but god damn! Drink a fucking coffee before recording your voice! I honestly forced myself to watch half of the first part because yes, you make sense and help me learn a lot about storytelling, but your voice sounds like an overworked Wallmart clerk who just wants to finish his shift and ho the hell home! I find your voice utterly painful to listen to, if you can’t get any more energetic even with a shot of amphetamine, ASK SOMEONE TO RECORD IT FOR YOU! When the scene in the basement rolled in I was both bored, tired of listening to you and embarassed by watching how you jar-jar-ly try to shove in several jokes about your basement! Dude, you’re NOT funny. I clicked a link on Cracked hoping it’s an article to read. Was disappointed seeing it’s just videos, but then decided to try and watch it and… Please, put it in an article form, maybe decorated with pictures or videos, beacause the video you’ve put together is just unwatchable!

Ps. At least for me, others seem to enjoy it so I’m just gonna assume I’m the fucked up one.

NO! You’re an idiot, firstly, and I don’t want you ruining Cracked’s basically good reputation by giving the impression that only folks who don’t understand sarcasm like you read their articles. Go home, find a sense of humor, and come back later.

Okay, I may not have been clear and probably a bit drunk too (for which I apologize). My main point was not that it was unfunny (tho I still think the scene in basement was useless) but that the voice made it really difficult to watch. It felt uninterested and boring regardless of what it was saying.

And, hoping this will let me avoid dealing with people like you, I specifically added the PS. Go ahead and read it.

By the way, second part was much better, maybe because I got used to the voice. But I still upheld what I said before: I absolutely hated the voice and found it hard to focus on the words. That is my opinion and if you have a problem with it, well, your problem. But I do apologize for the way I have expressed it, it was a bit over the top. I was just tired of listening to someone who didn’t seem like he even cared about what was he saying, sounding tired and bored himself and so when it got to the basement scene, I could not hold it anymore.

Again, I was quite drunk and went too far, I apologize, especially since the videos does raise many valid points. I just felt sad it was recorded in a way I found hard to listen. (and was drunk, which was sad too)

@Max its an act you ignorant noob. At least do some minimum research on the redlettermedia before you fumble with your keyboard.

it’s a persona / character act. it’s done on purpose.

I wish I could get away with copying work in school by saying “It’s like poetry, they rhyme”, or if the teacher criticizes my work, I can just say “It’s stylistically designed to be that way”.

I’ve never seen so clearly until now: the most memorable figures and scenes are those that made me feel hatred.

You’re describing traits. The objective is to describe personality; that’s what makes a character memorable. usually this comes from an actor, but can also come from writing.

No characters in the prequels are nearly as interesting or memorable as the characters in the originals. To me they just seem like people who do and say things the plot needs them to say, rather than people with motivations; that may not actually be the case, but the problem is THAT’S THE WAY IT COMES ACROSS. And that’s what matters.

shit you’re stupid

“Stay back coppers, I’m packin’ heat!”

That was so 70’s b-movie.

Anyone else having trouble loading these vidz on an Ipad?

You aint from ’round these parts of the internets here are ya boy? Heh heh heh.

We do things a bit diff’rently than you’re used to in the fancy big friendly joke aggregators. All sittin up there with them old media backing. We don’t take kindly to those who don’t take kindly to having to figure something out on a deeper level or are god forbid forced to think. I don’t like it, these here boys don’t like it, and The Gimp over here really don’t like it, and I don’t like to see him upset. Come on Gimpy…leave the poor noob alone he aint doin nothing..I said stay down Gimp! Sorry, he really don’t like strangers.

Because videos do not change because you can’t stand them. I would like nearly every gaming review made after 2007 to be reshot with a non-annoying female or a non-faux-radio-voice-douche because apparently G4 has solidified in people’s minds what gamers want in a game review is chirpy annoying girls reading lines with no intelligence behind their eyes or extremely annoying “wacky” radio voices that just sound douchy talking about Nintendo Power tips as if they’re un-Googleable at this point. You either hear Vidya Voodoo organically which is usually made up or wrong, or you get in from a source which may contain spoilers and is less bad ass, doing a combination of both very badly is counter intuitive to gaming culture. Of course I would like this but it’s just not happening because the fans of the Nostalgia Chick website and similar somesuch things don’t care it’s complete crap, it’s being made for them. Crossover episodes of web communities is when it can get really annoying super quick. Watching Alton Brown on whatever lameass “nerd cooking” show he was on is pretty much the epitome of everything I hate in the world, but they will continue to churn on that garbage because people like you just want to see mildly attractive people dressed up like what the kids of a corporate executive would think nerds look like make pop culture references.

The internet is not made for you, you have to make the internet. If you can’t generate content and you hate the content generated, get off the internet. You probably ignored it’s existence for the past 20 years and now you want it to do your bidding now that “work forced you to use it” even though that sounds like “I heard about a thing called internet porno yesterday” to everyone else.

Should I not be butthurt that places like Buzzfeed and their userbase takes them seriously? It would be so much better if at the very least the people who run Buzzfeed and the like knew they were regurgitating shit they don’t understand to amuse the dumb masses who understand that shit even less?

I have engaged mode “rabid fanboi” for subject “Mike Stoklasa” sometime two days ago.

Yep, but so far, only these

I like how when Plinkett says the hero gets the girl in the end it shows Charlie and WIlly Wonka hugging on the bottom right…

I skipped school on May 21, 1999 to go see this stupid movie.

in other words, the ones that made you feel something.

3 minutes and the vid still isn’t playing. im off

eh, He didn’t want to wait in the massive line. He was waiting for it to become just an oversized line.

They might be huge dicks

It is pretty close to czech expression for “shot of booze”, so, theres your idea for a drinking game – slam one down whenever captain Dork shows up.

After having to study Paradise Lost, I have to comment on the protagonist part. It is considered that the protagonist in that poem is Adam, but he doesn’t show up until book 4 (out of 12 books). Up until then, it was just Satan trying to get to Eden, and God’s ridiculously circuitous plan to give Jesus a chance to Sacrifice Himself. And all the events that happen in Genesis is also out of his control. So, I would say that the protagonist doesn’t have to be at the beginning of the story (though he/she should). So, yeah, Anakin is the protagonist in this movie.

Eh, still don’t like Anakin all that much.

It kinda defeats the purpose of a body double when you’re in the same room as they are. Great plan there, Padme.

I’m the same with work. And I bet output from both of us sucks. Thank you Redlettermedia!

What do you mean? Don’t they still make them, just every now and again?

“Qui Gonn Jinn.”

“I don’t remember that character.”

And he gets the most screen time of any character.

No, no, think about it.
There’s someone who meets the Jedi, and thus joins the main plot, very early on, starts out in kind of a bad place in his life, gets to share some backstory as to how he got there, is involved in all the major events of the movie while having a semi-working understanding of what’s at stake and why it’s important, someone who does care about the wellbeing of Naboo but all this jedi/adventuring stuff is new to him — someone who needs things explained to him occasionally, and has the arc of going from a clumsy, out-of-luck outcast to a hero.

The protagonist of Episode One is Jar Jar Binks.

I have to wonder why not one ship in orbit is firing from the sky to rain death on the Gungan army. It’d be like setting ants on fire. What was the point of deploying an army to stop the Gungas if they could do that? It’s not like all the ships were trying to defend the Droid Control ship because the key ship is left alone.

I agree and it probably at some stage was totally intentional, since Lucas was all about the “seeing the big drama through eyes of a small pawn” stuff. Since C3P0 and R2D2 were just that in previous movies, including them made that intention very very muddy.

That being said, of course, the execution of that idea..well, executed that idea. Just as with other characters, for example the ideally terrifiying enemy who truly represents how powerful and thus seductive the dark side is,, only to show us the tragedy of selfish lust for power – Count Dooku, who I usually forget even is in the third movie.

Mike calls Lucas a simpleton quite often, but what he truly is, is a child. Richie Rich, who got lucky when his imaginative pretend play gripped attention of other children and was then handled by adults (a literal father figure, Lucas teacher Irvin Kershner and others). When nobody opposed him, he just sat in the corner with his action figures, went pew pew pew and people paid millions to watch the sexless preteen idea of a tragedy.

No need to feel sorry in my case. I’ve stopped caring about the prequels a long time ago.

I think I’ve identified the most ludicrous part of this comment: comparing characters to planets. You seriously think planets should be able to be described as richly as characters? You are utterly clueless. The review explains the importance of a protagonist by referencing some of the greatest films ever made.

i wonder if lucas has even seen these reviews cause ALL the prequals ARE ABSOLUTE SHIT

Plinkett’s point was that having a clear and relatable protagonist in the beginning of the movie works very well in the Sci Fi and Fantasy genre’s, which is vastly different from Paradise Lost. I think George intended for Anakin to be the protagonist, but by the point he appears, we’ve lost all interest in any of the characters’ plights.

Shut up you blubbering pussy.

Rick McCallum: let it go man, that fight is over and you lost…. move on.

I would like to have Jake Lloyds commentary, because I know he grew up to be a kinda funny cynical bastard (honestly, I am amazed HE did not murder children in his twenties)

dork as in nerd or dork as in penis?

What is it with Ricks?

Worf: “The moon’s gravitational field obscured our hyperspace signature. The trade federation did not detect us”

Never stop squeezing those gats Plinkett.

Seeing as how Lucas called the Gungans “Goongas,” mispronoucing that word doesn’t seem to matter really.

Yeah, but like the Phantom Menace, Paradise Lost is totally convoluted and confusing and doesn’t make a lot of sense. If the phrase “plot holes” had existed in the seventeenth century, then someone like Plinkett would probably have printed lengthy pamphlets on the subject.

I like these videos because I think they not only demonstrate that the prequels’ story and characters were inferior to the original trilogy, but that the prequels were inferior on a technical and directorial level as well. I think they help people who may have had difficulty verbalizing exactly why they didn’t like the prequels as much (as opposed to “they just sucked.”)

I know what you mean. When I was reading book 3, I kept thinking to myself, “God? Who do you think you are? Palpatine?”

at least the way they are done. Mr Plinkett gives some advices on how to do it better. Best one i remember was from episode 3, with the clonetroopers and the foodlines, giving us a picture on how the war is ravaging the galaxy, etc.

Maybe (just saying) George (as opposed to Paul) actually IS dead and was replaced by a heartless bastard, sometime in the late 80s, early 90s.

Hey annie.you don’t look 18 yet based on your profile but when you do get there…call me mkay?

its better to get half in the bag often than wait 6 months for a plinkett review

I found yet another way this movie fails.

So, I was watching Gamesters of Triskelion and I saw another way Episode I fails. In that episode, Kirk, Uhura, and Chekov are enslaved and are forced to wear shock collars to fight as gladiators. Even Star Trek, a show that spent about 30 dollars on wardrobe, handled the whole enslavement thing better than the exploding chip in a multimillion dollar production.

Or… maybe, with a lot of help from Michael Arndt and Lawrence Kasdan, he’ll make a great film that will restore the franchise to its former glory. Hey, let’s keep a little optimism here!

I personally think it’s a clever title; the darkside is a dangerous quality that disappeared for a long time which can’t not exist because it is always possible to fall down that dark path. Just because the title has ‘phantom’ or ‘ghost’ in the title doesn’t imply there should be ghosts in the story. The threatening quality i.e. the darkside, can be like a ghost.
Also Darth Maul is exactly what the Jedi have been expecting, because of what he represents. That’s probably why his face was shown.

Very good point!

Well I know one thing, I find the Plinkett reviews far more entertaining and satisfying than the prequels themselves. George Lucas. Came up with two great ideas and (initially) two great trilogies. Should have then retired and left well alone. Actually, I was half-expecting the prequels to be disappointing – it’s all the screwing about with the original trilogy that I find truly offensive. Which Lucas then compounds by insulting all the millions who loved the original films by saying “sorry you liked my incomplete vision” or some such patronising bollocks…

Okay yes, I shouldn’t care, and I can ignore the prequels, but it seems I’m not even allowed to enjoy the original films as they were anymore.

It’s like Floyd changing Dark Side of the Moon or the Beatles changing Revolver. Or, if you don’t like those records, pick a classic album you love as applicable 😉

Did you know that George Walton Lucas, Jr was raised on a nut farm? A
real nut farm. He lived in a house on a nut farm. He grew nuts.

J.J. Abrams is a hack, unfortunately. Hoping for the best but expecting more sensational junk a la Star Trek.

Describe Qui-Gon Jinn in (using your pre-requisites)

He is someone who is at a constant struggle with himself. He agrees with the principles of his faith and is loyal to it, but also goes against it’s restrictions. Someone who sees what has to be done and simply does it. IF there’s consequences later he’ll accept them, but he got the job done. Kind at heart, empathising with those around him and a guiding father-figure to Obi-wan he is the master you’d come to for advice or help.

For the record the description your video gave of Han Solo was very weak. He is a great character and they could have came up with more than “scoundrel, good-looking and kind at heart”

I love all the Star Wars movies prequels included as we saw the originals that introduced us to the world and it’s rules, with references to the events of the past. This meant that essentially there couldn’t be as much drama as we knew how the prequels would play out. We knew the emperor would take over and form the empire. You watch the prequels to se just how that unfolds. As for who is the main character, I’d say Obi-wan. We don’t experience it through his perspective as it’s more of a third-person movie but Obi-wan has encounters with everyone else and even emotional reactions with them. As a jedi he doesn’t (can’t) throw out tears, but shows concern out his master defying the council (Ob-wan is a by-the-book Jedi) but also loyalty as he cares deeply for his master (seen in the end when Jinn dies and Obi-wan gets mad and avenges him in what may be the best dual of the series) he is worried about Anakin, trusting the council’s view that he is dangerous but ultimately deciding to train him because it was Jinn’s last request. This shows an ARC as it’s the first time Obi-Wan has been willing to defy the council (and with the knowledge of the originals we know the mistake that it is to train him and that he’ll be the death of the Jedi) so we are seeing the beginning of the end.

By the way I don’t get the retarded voice in the video (that I hope is an act for the video) and the mispronunciation of protagonist.

I work in Film/TV as an editor and have my degree in Screen Arts and while i can say your basic formula does suit sic-fi and fantasy best as we need a relatable character to guide us through, it is not essential. AS long as the rules of the world are clearly established (As they were with the originals/opening titles/opening scene) then we have a context to put these character into.

I’m going to treat this comment as if it isn’t trolling for the sake of argument.

Obi-wan doesn’t do anything in this movie though. He’s in the background following orders, and that means he can’t be the main character in this story because he isn’t really interacting with other characters; Qui-Gonn does. Qui-Gonn’s the one that makes the plans, makes suggestions, and performs most of the actions-especially when it comes to Anakin-in the movie. Obi-wan does none of these things, and he barely reacts to the world around him because he’s on the ship or driving the submarine or something. There’s also the fact that Qui-Gonn gets the most screen time of any character in the movie.

Now, I get the feeling that Lucas was writing a Sanjuro character. For those who never saw Yojimbo or Sanjuro, this character was a bearded, conniving master swordsman who was secretive about his feelings and helped the weak in a weird and roundabout way. The reason why Sanjuro works, but Qui-Gonn doesn’t is that the use of the term “Knight” implies nobility, honesty, and forthrightedness. This problem is further compounded by the inherent duality of the Star Wars universe where Good and Evil are pretty clearly defined. In contrast, Yojimbo and Sanjuro are a little bit fuzzier on the subject and certainly wasn’t one of the main themes of those movies anyway.

“By the way I don’t get the retarded voice in the video (that I hope is an act for the video) and the mispronunciation of protagonist.”

Proving that the only people who enjoy the prequels are mental infants.

“He is someone who is at a constant struggle with himself.”

What? When? He just seems to do whatever he wants, with a completely blasé attitude. If there’s an internal struggle it is at no point shown in the movie.

The only character trait the movie really gives Ginny is that he likes to take the easy way out whenever possible, whether it’s mind-tricking someone into giving him an underwater craft, or using the Force to cheat on a dice roll. Even when he fights Darth Maul, it comes off not as an act of courage, but as an act of hubris–he doesn’t think he can lose, and if he actually thought for a second he might lose, he’d have probably mind-tricked someone else into fighting for him.
If anything, Ginny acts more like a Sith than a Jedi, manipulating people and situations to his personal advantage, which BTW would’ve been a much more interesting and subtle character arc than anything in the prequels.

I hadn’t watched this in a long time, and rewatching it now it’s amazing how much this, a criticism of a movie, holds up as entertainment. Certainly more so than the soporific prequels.

One aspect in which I’d disagree from ‘Plinkett’ is in the idea that these movies have ruined Star Wars. I still like those movies – the original ones – about as much now as I did before the Phantom Menace existed. Actually, I might appreciate them more now then I did then. But that’s just personal experience.

My favorite SW film actually.

Please tell me he had moisture vaporators on that farm.

“I’ve been wondering… what are midi-chlorians?” well they are one of the many things that ruin star wars.
– “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.” aww i understand Darth.. is that why you turned to the dark side…
Anakin: “Are you an angel?”
Padme: “What?”
Anakin:
” An angel. I’ve heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They live
on the moons of Lego, I think. They’re the …”
…Excuse me miss… um can i get a refund on this ticket. i’m going home now…

The prequels never existed, so the original trilogy is intact.

hey jabba ya do realize that you actually look like turd right

The movie has Obi-Wan straight up say to Qui Gon something like you’d be a master by now if you ever actually listened to them. So movie does state it.

GUEST: “I’m so confident in my opinion and resume, I threw together this misspelled slop and posted as a guest!”

Cockpuppet. Also, you’re a twat for saying “retarded” as a pejorative. Oh, and for not recognizing obvious jokes.

I have no idea about these prequeefs you keep mentioning.

Bro, do you even like compelling characters and actual emotions, bro?

Exhaust vents are a pretty basic part of engineering, and you wouldn’t WANT to cover those up.

Pretty true. Although Lucas believes that America lost to the ingenuity
of the North Vietnamese, and reflected that with the Ewoks. The real
problem is that America fought the war on the enemy’s terms. Instead of
targeting the enemy’s infrastructure and bombing the railways, munitions
dumps, etc, we just had American soldiers wandering around the forest
getting ambushed and killed (much like the Stormtroopers). While Lucas
may believe that victory was due to the Viet Kong’s ingenuity, it was
actually the result of America’s incredible stupidity. LBJ and MacNamera
should burn in hell for how they ineptly dragged that war out just to
profit off the soldiers.

Luke is protected by the force and that totally compensates the fact that he is a new pilot so he gets a special shield right? I dont think thats how the force works. Plo Koon got taken down while he was flying, and he is strong with the force and it was a damn clone who took him down. The damn torpedos look like slow moving lazers -_-. About the death star, what is this? The twenty first century? Such structures should be extremely formidable and not having direct acces to the core. Sure the other ships are like mosquitos so they didnt worry but if you built such a huge thing protecting the interior is the FIRST thing you do. About the droids, some droids do pose a threat maybe not towards jedi but towards others yea and a lot. The clone troopers in the originals arent a threat to absolutely no one. The guy that made this review is expecting realism from the movie. What if we expected realism from the originals? Than we got a problem, so FUCK THE GUY WHO MADE THE REVIEW. Ultimately this is a matter of when was star wars a part of your childhood, for me the prequels were a part of my childhood.

The Star Wars prequels were also part of my childhood. I loved the Phantom Menace when I was a kid, and looked forward enormously to Episodes II and III. Seeing the film opened the door to the rest of the rest of the trilogy, and other films in general. I still watch the six movies regularly, and enjoy doing so; but at the same time I find the original trilogy much more involving and compelling.

The use of practical effects and real life sets plays a role in making it feel more real and immediate; but the overall development of the story, characters and dialogue are a much more significant factor. It isn’t so much that they are complex and completely plausible human beings, but that we relate to their motivations. Escaping from one’s own place of origin and overcoming an overwhelming tyrannical force is a recurrent theme in Lucas’s work, visible in the two non-Star Wars features Lucas directed. There are traces of it in the prequels in the character of Anakin Skywalker, but Lucas shot himself in the foot by deliberately invoking a world that isn’t as black and white in its morality.

I have constantly tried to relate to Anakin’s transformation and find it compelling in theory, much less so in execution. His films’s reliance on CGI create vast and pretty landscapes, but don’t have the same dramatic effect, as the use of lighting more this effect is more limited.

It ultimately boils down to one’s own opinions and the arguments they defend them with. A good case could be made in favor of the prequels, as well as a case against the original trilogy (though I haven’t found a wholly convincing one yet). Becoming irate because the Death Star has a vulnerable point or because Luke’s ship is never taken down is nitpicking, and aren’t valid reasons to take down an entire film. They are well known narrative tropes, from the genres that inspired Lucas to write the film in the first place. Of course Luke isn’t going to get shot down, he’s the main character! And unless the Death Star is powered by some sort of perpetual motion machine (which is impossible in practical scientific terms), it needs some sort of fuel to operate.

There are great films that have small inconsistencies, if not outright plot holes. Plinkett does his fair share of nitpicking, and pointing out inconsistencies, but his overall argument is the same that the film doesn’t evoke the same emotional connection that the original films did. If you really like the prequels, this may not change your mind, and I don’t want to. But keep in mind that the point of this kind of analytical exercise, and any review in general, is not to change your opinion, but to exhibit the author’s opinion and hope it encourages further reasonable discussion on a certain topic. So don’t attack the people expressing opinions that you disagree with, and please find a more coherent and courteous way of expressing yourself. Have a nice day.

They were part of my childhood too, but at least I grew up and saw them for what they were.

“You said it brother. Wait, you said that?!”

Harry S. Plinkett.

Lol so the death star is powered by fossil fuel? No way

Sureley filter existed by than lol.

Aa yes, emotion, the duels in the originals had…… emotions. Hmm are you saying the prequel duels were emotionless? I’m pretty sure they’re not. Qui-gon and obi-wan against maul. Qui-gon being who he is relies heavily on strong attacks and adapts to a style depending on the needs, nevertheless this makes him predictable and vulnerable. during the Events of episode 1 he was already past his prime. On the other hand darth maul uses bold, precise and strong attacks. He was sidious’s personal assasin and had trained for years this is why he takes down qui-gon but is unsuccesfull in taking down obi-wan. Because obi-wan knows his limits and is also good in determing the enemys limits. Obi wan was particularly good in blast deflection and also light saber deflection, meaning he has a good defense. After a while he takes down maul when he catches him off guard. Because of this and many other things obi wan becomes one of the greatest duelist during his time, mace-windu spoke highly of him. The fight can be easily viewed as the growth of obi-wan, He is the very same guy that died to vader, the guy you mentioned that sacrificed his life! the death of maul is what makes him grow as a jedi master!… emotions? there are plenty! maybe you must look for them. Similar can be said for the other battles but i wont go into detail.

Fighting Technique =/= Emotions

I adore this man

You did a terrible job of bashing the original trilogy “harder” than this guy. You must be very confused about the definition of the word “harder,” because an internet post on disqus that has no likes isn’t bashing a thing harder than a 70 minute video that’s been shared all over the internet and gets regular views daily. I think you should probably go back to the workshop, put a 75 minute video together bashing the original trilogy, posting that on the internet, and then having your video become more popular and relevant than this one. Once you do that, I think you’ll have succeeded in bashing the original trilogy “harder” than this guy. Nine poorly written sentences just isn’t going to get it done. Sorry.

The fact that you’re trying to “bash” the original trilogy by listing a bunch of plot holes shows that you have completely missed the point of these reviews. The point being that the original trilogy is one of the better examples of classic, meat-and-potatoes storytelling in modern cinema, while the prequel trilogy fails at storytelling 101 in nearly every way.

It would have been so much better without the narrator using some braindead idiot accent and idiom

I bet you’re RLM’s favorite type of fan.

If you use fuel to power something – whatever the fuel is – there is a waste product of some type. Even in Star Trek The Undiscovered Country, star ships have emissions. That waste product has to go somewhere. In Star Wars they still have garbage chutes and trash compactors on the ship, the technology is fantastic, but familiar at the same time.
It’s also a metaphor in that something so large and imposing can be destroyed by a smaller ship with a precision strike. Kind of related to how a small rebel force can lead to the downfall of a massive evil empire, isn’t it? Those in power become bloated, complacent, arrogant.
You are comparing tiny, completely irrelevant nitpicks to massive gaping flaws with the shooting, storytelling, writing and acting of the prequels. It’s just not the same thing, like, at all.

I dunno, this is the first page and time I have been here.

As a wet shaving aficionado, I can honestly say I want a shaving cream warmer, possibly with integrated frothing wand.

I actually prefer the fight choreography in the originals more than the prequels. Each blow has some weight to it and you can actually grasp what’s going on and how the duelists are countering and anticipating each other. Not to mention the tactical retreats and re-engagements in the Empire and Jedi fights which served to regulate the rhythm of the scenes and build a little tension from the anticipation of the eventual resumption of the fight. Rather more realistic than the glo-stick waggling in the prequels.

As an aside, this reflects Lucas’ appreciation of Kurosawa films, where the the action was kept basic and kind of visceral to avoid drawing attention away from the characters. poetry, rhymes, vomit, stanzas, etc.

Not sure. He shows up here though:
redlettermedia.com/performance-capture-with-red-letter-media/

Midichlorians…

Midi-fucking-chlorians…

I have no idea why that is in the movie either, especially considering that the term and concept make no appearance whatsoever in the following movies…

Oh God!

Disney, if you’re going to use midichlorians, just please think it through!

One thing I would change about your analogy is that the bathroom sink, while indeed shiny and expensive-looking, isn’t beautiful at all, but gaudy and over-indulgent, like something you would find in Liberace’s bathroom.

Call me a weird guy and all, but that thought makes me so happy I want to…how to put this?

I guess I’ll try to describe my mental imagery; I see myself touching the sun, bringing it to my chest where it enters me like a pilot into a mech, afterwards it then drives me into a fight against the forces of darkness as if this was Evangelion and then I choke zombie-mecha-hitler with my dick…

Does that make sense? ‘Cause it’s going to take me awhile to sort this through. At any rate, it needs to happen.

“The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s an energy
field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us.
It binds the galaxy together.” – Obi-Wan

“It is said that certain creatures are born with a higher awareness of the
Force than humans. Their brains are different; they have more
midi-chlorians in their cells.”
―George Lucas, establishing guidelines for the Expanded Universe in 1977

I see a direct contradiction – Lucas is claiming that midi-chlorians make people more aware of the force. Ignoring for the moment the fact that all living things are not just pervaded by the Force at all times, but they actually CREATE the force themselves, making it downright silly to think there would be greater or lesser degrees of awareness of something so ubiquitous, the main contradiction in these quotes is that Obi-Wan directly gets his power from the Force. He doesn’t mention the aspect of “awareness” at all, when it’s later stated that such awareness of the force is the only real difference in a Jedi’s ability.

The most offensive thing about midi-chlorians, is that as outlined by Obi-Wan and Yoda, the Force has counterparts in many mystic traditions. “Luminous beings are we! Not this, crude, matter.”

Fuck you Lucas.

If these really are your opinions then you’re either trying far, far too hard to justify the Prequels in your own mind or you have no future in film.

I think it would be too traumatic of an experience for him. You may as well ask a rape victim to watch the surveillance footage of them being repeatedly mouth and ass raped by George Lucas over the course of 90 minutes when they were just 10 years old.

Jar Jar is actually what saved this movie on initial reception. He’s so awful that he became the focal point for everyone’s hatred. Everyone left the theatre thinking “you know, if that stupid Jar Jar wasn’t in it, this movie probably would’ve been good”. He was just so over-the-top bad that all the other, more subtly bad things in the movie, seemed good by comparison. It wasn’t until the second and third movie, which had less Jar Jar, that people realized how wrong they were.

Hey, I just stumbled over this nice conversation here.

Plus points for us RLM Fans… no one has threatened JM with rape or anything, there might still be some good in us.

Also no one quoted Plinkett, showing him ‘how stupid he is’, but considering his arguments, which is a good think. So I’ll join in to this ‘bottomless comment section’:

Bashing the originials is okay, and I even think your points are valid. The exhaust pipe thing was a bit simplistic and was used to wrap up things of enormous proportions pretty quick. Luke didn’t get hit… he just doesn’t… what a lucky guy.. not the only one in movie history. Certainly a lot of lucky Padmes, Anakains, Obi-Wans in the prequel as well.. but nevermind that.

What I rather can support is to defend the prequels. Not every point Plinkett makes is undebatable true. Also, I find nitpicking is a nice thing, which one can apply to every movie, especially your favourite ones. It doesn’t ruin the movie, it just makes you wonder about it again..you don’t forget them.. and that is a good thing(at least with good movies). All in all, Plinkett is right even in his first statement. This movie was sooo dissapointing. I was 22 when I hit the theatres in 1999, and these movies weren’t made for me and my age, perhaps, but I was willing to forgive a lot. I still do.

So, defending the prequels is a very hard job. I would like to see a witty person making a counter review to Plinkett here. (and for the record, saying something like: ‘Well, you don’t like my favourite movies? I think your Star Wars is an asshole, too!’, doesn’t count as witty). So what is there to like? I also don’t think all CG is bad. Naboo looked incredible. I liked the Royal Starship and Darth Mauls ship as an inuendo to later Tie Fighters. I liked the hippie like Jedi Qui Gon Jinn. He became the first Jedi Spirit, and that touches upon some sort of lore I would like to hear more about. Subtlety in contemporary movies is not only lacking, it is processed to camp 4. So I wonder how very subtle this whole thing played out in the prequels:

The Jedi order was flawed, before their extinction. But even though they sort of knew about this, there wasn’t a final statement, like Yoda saying: Oh, it all went to bits, because we haven’t done anything. We must learn more about the force. Like that wicked new spirit thing, Qui Gon recently got into.’

Why did Yoda have to go into exile, after breaking up the fight against Palpatine? If he did so for becoming wiser and rethink this whole ‘Jedi and the force’ thing, couldn’t they at least say so?

But I wanted to point out good things in the prequel. I don’t mind Jar Jar. He was an idiotic character, for sure, but they got rid of him (mostly) even in Episode 2, and I don’t consider any of these films superior to Episode 1. Jake Lloyd was a Kid in a Star Wars movie. He was flying and shooting and saying some things. I don’t mind him either. I even prefer him to his later incarnation, BECAUSE HE WASN’T EVIL ALL THE TIME. Yes, Lloyds Anakin was a nice helpful boy and introduced us also to this young Padawan thing, which got a dark pay off in the end. Palpatines plan… well that is a biiig nitpick, right there. It is hard to look past the huuuge flaws of this plan and the crazy coincidences that need to happen to make him the Emperor in the end.. but even that I am able to forgive. It is like Luka and Vader in the Death Star Trench… very lucky. I don’t mind inclusion of Jabba or (most of) the other characters since it wasn’t more than a nod. Including C-3PO and Chewbacca was pretty stupid… but at least R2s origin was handled nicely.

Well, I can go on and on, still after all these years. But just a last word for Jonathan Martinez, here: I also don’t hate the Lightsaber Duels of the prequels. They don’t need to be overloaded with emotions. The little emotions the prequel duels conveyed, was enough for me. I at least understood their motivations. BUT since you were going soo into details about every move Darth Maul, Qui Gon and Obi-Wan made during their battle, you might be interested in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0mUVY9fLlw

The fights in these movies are just ridiculous. It is like the romanticized sword fight versus a real one. In the real one, they go side to side trying to hit past the shield. There are no overhead hits because that would expose the fighter. Same with the prequels, there are dozens of opportunities for the fighters to hit, say, the legs, and they are not taken.

“But I was going to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters!”
At least the film did a good job showing us where this annoying line originally comes from.

It was the most “3D” 3D movie I’ve ever seen in 3D. I think other 3D movies filmed in 3D don’t even compare to the 3D-ness of this 3D movie, and Visionary 3D Director Mark Webb deserves some kind of 3D award for his 3D work on 3D movies.

I feel as though you don’t know what he meant by emotionless. Yeah, they meant something as a part of the emotional whole, but there’s so much movement, flashing lights, and obviously (and awkwardly, because of it) choreographed fighting, there’s no room to show their emotions at the time. Lightsabers are also overused here, I don’t remember if he brought that up in this review or his Episode II review.

“Captain Panaka”? Some characters I can’t even describe inside their roles.

He’s a captain…that’s it.

That sounds fair enough to me. I believe it.

Dead on. I think George Lucas has this idea of something really cool that’s going to happen, and then writes his story to fit that cool thing in. It’s not the worst idea – plenty of writers do the same thing. But when you are trying to incorporate some Byzantine intrigue and labyrinthine plots, it really doesn’t work.

When’s the next Episode I Plinkett review?

It breaks my heart to tell you this but you are right Mr. Plinkett and I admire your honesty. I don’t think that George was the main driving force for New Hope, Empire Strikes Back after witnessing the mess that are the Star Wars pre-quels. Roll on the re-boot !!

Clearly a very positive aspect of PM is that Mike Hamill isn`t in it. Just saying…

you kinda did ask idiots to explain. Qui-Gon Jinn was this stuborn jedi master that folows his heart and strongly does what he belevies in even if it cost his reputation, jedi council seat or even life. also he’s inteligent and insightfull more than other characters cause he has seen more and did more in his life rather than siting in a room and discuss politics. he’s caring, compationate, real friend and really really good teacher. given that he thought obi everything he could and made him prepared to become master even before he realized that..to anser your question star wars prequel trilogy is all about ANAKIN becoming what he was in original trilogy. even if you meet him in 45 minutes (which was case in some oter movies too where you meet protagonist very late in movie), what can you expect from the boy that is f%#/# 7 years old and were a slave! to have goal..to know where he is in life? to know what he want to become? dude you’re reatrted as much as your voice is…this movie is not made for ppl who watch star wars with same ethusiasm as tonight’s show! let me see you where were you in life when you were 7.

The problem is indeed the writing. Anakin Skywalker should be conflicted, troubled, charismatic, deep, explosive, interesting, compelling, intense and brilliant.

In the prequels he is none of those things.

“It’s not fair!!””

“the Newer movies fail on a fundamental storytelling level.”

Amen.

The prequels could’ve been the greatest movies ever made. It genuinely still hurts me that they’re so awful.

reatrted? You must have helped write this steaming pile of shit.

Since you’re new here, Plinkett was 7 around the same time the Titanic sunk…long story there.

Also, on Qui-Gon…well where did you even get those impressions of him? ‘Cause if it isn’t from the film, well that is the point isn’t it? The film did nothing to tell us who he his, what he wants, what he believes in etc.

Jinny just sort of stands around like a slack-jawed dumbass and spews nonsense at plot-convenient moments.

The thing hate about Episode 1 was the characters. Their really was no interesting characters. On top of that the story and dialogue was SO BORING. Their some unique element in the film like the whole “chosen one” angle Lucas was going for. Imo the movie should have focus solely on the prophecy concept. The whole idea of Anakin Skywalker being space Jesus could be good if done right of course. The only thing I like was the action scenes and the music.

OH MY GOD! You just gave me a brain aneurysm.

The guy’s edited his post. He originally called him Mike Hammill.

Do you know Plinkett?

Firstly, I picture you in old clothes, socks and sandals on a street corner handing out pamphlets and asking, “Do you know Plinkett?”

Secondly, it amuses me that born-again Plinkians think that this is a good response to criticisms of his unnecessarily offensive form of comedy. It’s as if knowing Plinkett will magically transform the viewer into someone who will find this humour funny.

You realize I’m a different person to the one who originally posted, right? That I never called it an excuse?

Said like a true born-again Plinkian.

“Don’t any of you fuckheads say ‘It was explained more in the novelization.’ What matters is the movie! I ain’t never read any Star Wars books or books in general for that matter.”

Harry S. Plinkett

where does the behind the scenes footage come from?

I couldn’t think of a better way to mark the 15th anniversary of The Phantom Menace’s release than re-watching this review. It’s a salve for the bitter disappointment this film has caused me that still stings to this very day.

It’s called characterization, and it’s clearly fictional. So is your problem with drama? Do you read Romeo and Juliet and go off on a tangent about how you don’t appreciate the whole tacked on element of teenage suicide?

Not hating on Jake Lloyd, but it just seems like a bad idea to cast a 6 year old because it’s so hard for them to given them precise direction. Seemed a little smarter to start with a 8-9 year old for just enough control before puberty hits them.

I’m not sure how it’s a compliment that Tolkien used magic to explain much of his world, as that didn’t stop him going into ludicrously detailed mind-numbing explanations that saps all the fun out of the experience. There’s like 3 pages in LOTR devoted to Hobbit lineages for fuck’s sake.

At the heart of the prequels problems is Lucas’ inability to create believable characters with any level of depth. Tolkien has much the same problem, indeed he is even worse, all his characters are just empty vessels for his narration. The only way you ever get any variation to Tolkien’s characters is when they belong to different species. Or are “good” rather than “evil”. The LOTR films are such good adaptations because the pointless tedious elements of the original story were removed & the characters were given actual personalities we could believe in & care about.

Tolkien wrote vast, epic stories & created a world you can immerse yourself in because it is so detailed – so much thought has gone into it. Lucas has done much the same, though. What made either of their stories palatable boils down to the other people involved; people who injected empathy and streamlined the story into something coherent & entertaining.

I’m gonna do like Alex Lee and quote some Plinkett at you:

“”Don’t any of you fuckheads say ‘It was explained more in the novelization or some Star Wars book.’ What matters is the movie!”
“Don’t talk about them stupid video games, or novels, comic books or any of that fucking crap.”

Except I’m not calling you a fuckhead.

go back to tumblr.

Sorry folks but Mr. Plinkett mind is far superior over NC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD-hdE8PLjo

Hey, that’s a pretty good edit job.

Of the three in this video, I’d have chosen the one just before the one they actually chose, the second kid.

Really, though, I was hoping that the child who grew up to be Darth Freaking Vader would be darker, mysterious, more of a creepy kid — not full on Wednesday Addams, but definitely less Brian Bonsall from Family Ties. There are little kids like the one they cast, and then there are rarer kids, ones who are quiet, who stand back and observe, and then come out with things you wouldn’t expect from them; their appeal is not all vested in the twee mispronunciation of words, but on the impression that something is lurking beneath their surface — I went into the film thinking we were getting something along those lines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSCm8yAxBr8&list=PLINl9l0igYjzIipxsD4Y59_Jjxe4N3pZo seen this?

Now I am well aware that this guy is mostly regarded as hipster douche entertainment but I figured I might share this anyway. http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/232/the-real-story?act=3#play

this was fucking awesome, made my day
‘Murika

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_rtOXMZlMTkg/S8ttLyKup9I/AAAAAAAADCs/4MVq6GtPOrM/s1600/hecklers.jpg

“I will admit that the story is illogical as are most Fantasy/Sci-fi plots”

EXCUSE ME?

For you to make a statement like that I suspect you haven’t read too much Science Fiction and therefore you take it as given that when you refer to Fantasy/Sci-fi, we understand that you are referring to MOVIES.

There is always the possibility of a small inconsistency in order to move a story along, we are talking about large inconsistencies that strain the limits of credibility and the suspension of disbelief, ones that break you out of the story and have you actively questioning the plot as the story is unfolding.

If you enjoyed the prequel trilogy I don’t begrudge you that, however you won’t be able to convince me that the storytelling and respect for the intelligence of the viewer compare to the original. There is some solid content in the prequels but there is also evident lazy writing and general contempt for the viewing audience.

A list of stories would be too long so here is a short list of AUTHORS that you might find a little more logical: (in no order, I don’t want to start a “best” war! :–D)

Isaac Asimov
Robert Heinlein
Arthur C. Clark
Harlan Ellison
Ray Bradbury
Philip K. Dick
Stanislaw Lem
Douglas Adams
William Gibson
H. P. Lovecraft
George R. R. Martin
Martin Gardner
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Anthony Burgess
Theodore Sturges
Piers Anthony – the “incarnations of immortality” series
A. E. van Vogt
Alfred Bester
Cordwainer Smith
Brian Aldiss
Samuel R Delany
H. G. Wells
Philip Jose Farmer
Michael Crichton
Clifford D. Simak
James Blish
Poul Anderson
Lester del Rey
Alan Dean Foster
Ursula K. Le Guin
Ben Bova
Roger Zelazny
Frederik Pohl
L. Sprague de Camp
Cyril M. Kornbluth
Fritz Leiber
Robert Bloch
Larry Niven
Edgar Pangborn
Fred Saberhagen
Robert Silverberg
Frank Herbert
James M. Tiptree
Orson Scott Card

What is it with Ricks?

who came up with the retarded idea to let the dealer whose race is intelligent and “immune to jedi influence” try a dice based gambling bet… you know against a jedi with telekinetic abilities?

You have to keep in mind that what Plinkett says about lightsaber duels (In this review and all his others) is true for fight scenes in general. Fight scenes are just that: Scenes. Their purpose is to advance the plot and develop character. In the original trilogy, the fight scenes were not only justified but necessary. Creative choreography can be fun on its own (They Live), but the ultimate point of a fight is to progress the story. Romeo and Juliet plays in the 1600’s probably didn’t have very convincing swordplay, but obviously that didn’t keep it from becoming one of the most well-known stories in world literature.

Even in pro wrestling, a medium where a large part of the appeal is in the aesthetics of the simulated violence, there are storylines and things at stake to justify why matches occur. Sometimes those elements are absent, but even then a (Good) wrestler will captivate the audience with his charisma. Because of this, fans will become invested in these wrestlers over time and will consistently root for them regardless of the circumstances surrounding their matches. Going back to film, that just illustrates why it’s important for the audience to actually like and/or care about the people fighting.

Just to add: In regards to the final duel in Empire, there are a few things Plinkett didn’t quite touch on. Luke’s first fight with Vader is a David vs. Goliath battle, much like the X-Wings taking on the Death Star in the first movie. This time it’s different, though, because Luke fails and ends up getting his hand chopped off. Even though he loses, though, there are still moments in the fight where he surprises Vader with his skill and perseverance (Like when he narrowly escapes being frozen by Force Jumping out of the carbonite chamber). It’s moments like those that really resonate with an audience. Underdogs are awesome, and when the odds are really stacked against them, every hit they land can seem significant. Just think of Rocky managing to floor Apollo Creed in the first round. Even though that was brief and only served to piss his opponent off, it got the audience’s blood pumping.

I haven’t seen Phantom Menace in maybe ten years, but looking back at the clips I saw there doesn’t seem be that same kind of tension and excitement. There was so much spinning and flailing that none of their attacks seemed very significant (This is something that Plinkett did mention). Plus, the Darth Maul battle was initially two-on-one, which kind of makes HIM the underdog even if he is a really powerful Sith Lord with a double-lightsaber. If you made Mike Tyson fight two inferior but accomplished contenders at the same time, you’d probably expect Tyson to lose even if he had horseshoes in his gloves.

I see what you’re trying to say, but it still works as an example because people like the movie itself and Neo is well-known. A lot of people aren’t super crazy about Luke Skywalker (Or at least Mark Hamill’s performance) but he’s still one of the first characters who come to mind when they hear the word “protagonist.”

Moot point. I thought you misunderstood Plinkett in your first comment, but I was wrong.

That… is why you fail.

Anyone know where I can find a copy of the long rebuttal to these videos some fanboy wrote?

Funny!

I saw The Phantom Menace when it came out, and after the movie ended I had no idea what it was about. All these years later, I still haven’t figured it out.

I went into it expecting to see stuff getting blown up, some cool aliens, maybe (hopefully) a chick in a metal bikini, plus a little bit of talking. What I got instead were trade negotiations and parliamentary maneuvering. WTF???????

The amount of people that stick up for the prequels makes my depressed and lose whatever little faith I have in humanity. Don’t read the YouTube for this review if you don’t want 3/4 of you brain cells to commit suicide. Fork in the brain!

i was with you until i saw your idiotic name… he might be criminal, but you’re an asshole.

Ah well haters gonna hate.

I was about to say, the scene still serves no purpose. But you seem to have already destroyed your own argument. I admire that efficiency.

Sounds like someone needs a flagpin…

Was the penis in question your own?

I just like the concept of a deflector shield instead of shields being a little blue bar of ablative HP. So, defending the concept instead of the movie I guess.

And even then, the only choreography that still continues to look good is Darth Maul himself. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gonn are just so sloppy in comparison (every time they turn around to make a swing that will functionally do no more damage than if they didn’t do that).

Making some good points, but 10 minutes in, that voice is entirely too obnoxious to continue. I can’t stand it enough to find of any this funny or amusing. I’d rather he cut out his throat and use a fake robotic voice box instead of sounding like a marble-mouthed lethargic drunk fatso.

In the film, they were trying to communicate that the Jedi were, after thousands of years of there being no Sith, they were unprepared to deal with enemies that might wield lightsabres against them.

There’s also lightsabre physics revolving around how the mechanism by which they work causes them to be extremely unstable in the hands of people who lack the Force. The implication being that Darth Maul kicks so much arse that he can wield a weapon that is more than twice as complicated to use and do so more effectively than two Jedi with simpler weapons.

Yes, I know this is all stuff from encyclopedias and such shite, but that is part of my point. Lucas relied so much on this expanded universe encyclopedia stuff that he says no longer counts to explain away what was his job as the director to tell us.

Ironically, if a director had found a good way to explain to us that lightsabres have a gyroscopic effect and cannot be wielded by just anybody, whilst at the same time explaining how Han was able to cut open a tauntaun with one in spite of that, that would be just competent filmmaking. Good filmmaking if they do it well. The scenes in RoboCop where they are assembling RoboCop whilst his “viewpoint” sees them (“it’s titanium, laminated with kevlar”) are an example of this kind of exposition done like a boss. Lucas has never worked with _anyone_ good enough to do it that well, but even a quarter of the way would have been better than what we got.

Even with a good explanation like that, this would not negate the fact that all three participants in the duel violate the first rule of fencing, and do so repeatedly. That is, never show your opponent your back.

Thomas: I would like to wrap your comments up in a bow and send them to one poster just above you on this page.

I just wanted to chuck in my pennies about a couple of things you write.

I think the same effect, the who-cares-what-is-happening effect, occurs in Peter Jackson’s Middle Earth In Name Only films. I was watching a lot of the making-ofs around the time that the home video releases were occurring, and one thing I could not get past no matter how I tried was all of the bragging about how these big battle sequences were 50+ minutes long and had thousands of characters involved. When I was looking over the finished product, many things came to mind.

One, he was lying when he said characters. There’s maybe one or two characters in each film that the audience is given enough reason to care about, and the rest of the battle is basically anonymous figures in a computer killing each other in videogame ways. Second, and this is what I wanted to touch on in terms of the Empire duel, the story does not progress one iota whilst these protracted battle sequences take place. It is as if the story stops dead while Good Stereotype Guys murder the shit out of Bad Stereotype Guys.

Empire achieves something that I have only seen duplicated in one other film that I can remember, 13 Assassins. As the duel and escape-fight progresses, you learn new things about the characters. You learn that there IS a point that pushing Lando past will get him to turn on you even when you have him by the proverbials. You learn that Leia really IS in love with Han. And most importantly, you learn that Luke and Vader are not just play-fencing like children.

At the start of that duel, I could not help but think Vader must be thinking “if I did not need this suit just to exist, I would hand this boy his arse in no time”. Then as Luke uses the Force to escape traps, Vader adjusts his strategy around the fact that Luke might not be completely incompetent after all. The moments when Vader is using the Force to throw stuff at Luke, battering him, are all about softening Luke up for taking to the Emperor. But the real fusion of storytelling with visual excitement is that quick moment where Luke hits a hit into Vader that makes him say ouch, then quickly retaliates by cutting Luke’s hand off. We see that had Luke exercised some patience and not given in to the visions of his friends being tortured, the outcome of the fight might have been very different. He learned enough along the way to at least remind Vader that Vader is not invulnerable.

I will be brief about Jedi. That score music where we hear the baritone men wordlessly hum tells more story than anything going on in the other two segments of the battle put together. It tells the audience “oh no! everything the last few Jedi have been striving for for the past five or six hours is gone, maybe forever”. It is the Star Wars equivalent of the moment in RoboCop where RoboCop is angrily striding out of his rest chamber with science men vainly urging him to stop.

Call me what you like, but I actually enjoyed Jedi (slightly) more than any other SW film for that part alone.

But the point of all that is that it proves Plinkett is right about the duels. They are not about fighting but rather the story that leads into them. And the story that leads into the TPM duels is CRAP, no it’s SHIT… 😉

I do, however, disagree about the Darth Maul duel, up to a point. There are underdogs and underdogs. And again, this is part of what Plinkett is talking about in his review about the story versus choreography. Yes, I know saying “the novel says…” is boneheaded, but hear me out. The text about the duel talks about how Maul is always in control, how after this amount of time the Jedi are no closer to winning, and so forth. But because we are given no basis on which to understand how elite Maul is supposed to be, we cannot understand things like that from the film.

What I would have done is have a few scenes in the film where Jedi are being killed in groups and nobody knows who is doing it until Maul pops out of nowhere on Tattooine and tries to take down Qui-Gon. A quick moment where five Jedi are coming to the aid of some unrelated person, and Maul kills them all. Anything like that. But Lucas is and was such an idiot that he thinks he can just have one actor with no character development whatever do flips and kicks and swing a two-bladed sabre and audiences will automatically twig that the Jedi are coming from a place of weakness in this battle.

It is kind of like how they do it in the real X-Men films. They make it painfully clear that the normies have all the weapons, control of society, etc etc, so the only thing saving the Mutants from doom is their powers. A good director like Bryan Singer or Matthew Vaughn knows you do not take it for granted that an audience knows or understands things like that. Hell, a vaguely competent directly knows not to take it for granted.

So I submit to you that in the hands of a good director, the audience would have known that Darth Maul is the Force equivalent of Bruce Lee, and Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan are the equivalent of newly-minted black belts. In that context, the audience should have been surprised that Qui-Gon lasted for as long as he did.

Everyone can chew me out at their leisure for saying it, but the things Lucas _did not_ explicitly spell out on the screen such as Maul’s true ability or the operational physics of lightsabres are what seals him as an incompetent dickhead, not what he _did_ put on the screen.

am i the only one who made their own lightsaber…. but now wants to shove it up georges arse!

There is also a funny little detail that Lucas invalidated with his “EU is not canon” edict that says lightsabres cosmetically relate to personal history. If you look at Qui-Gon’s, older Obi-Wan’s, and Luke’s ROTJ lightsabres, you notice they have a lot in common. (The same is true of Anakin’s/Vader’s lightsabres next to Yoda’s.)

But I digress. I am probably the only person who took any notice of that whilst watching TPM (or any prequel) at the premieres. The fact that I took notice of it during these duels says a lot about me AND the duels. Heh.

Probably the moment that came off the worst for me in the Naboo duel, however, was when Maul awkwardly balances himself on the edge of a platform, blocks both of his opponents at once, then backflips onto a path that has got to be at least a long-jump record away from him. I mean, the other shots in the duel, I can sort of at least understand as having some form of purpose or progression within the fight. But that one… why did anyone bother?

so I laughed at your name and pic for about 5 minutes straight, just thought I’d let you know. Thank you.

you meant antagonist….

and on this day you are a man my son.

They must be dead by now…destroy whats left of them!

Every time I watch this, I notice another great detail. Last viewing, it was 4:26 – Charlie Bucket gets the girl. This time it was 10:58 – Lucas examines a bulbous alien that looks exactly like him.

Although my long-time favorite is the quote at 20:10. It’s like a terrible Willaim Carlos Willaims poem.

Will you defer your
motion

to allow a
comission

to explore the
validity

of your
accusations?

Worse, the second just adds to the complexity and inanity. I left a second screening of the “Attack of the Clones” thinking I actually had figured out what the point was. But I was damned if I was going to watch that dreck a third time. I never saw the final one more than once, and I am pretty sure I’ve seen each of the original movies a dozen times.

No wonder the droids got cut apart, they were trying to figure out what the hell that meant.

Yes.

I hope JJ has watched this review

I’ve watched this movie like twice and I still can’t understand what the fuck is going on in it, it’s boring and doesn’t hold the viewer at all. I’m glad I’m not the only one. I can’t believe this is aimed at children, what kid in their right mind cares about space taxes and trade disputes? I love Star Wars but it literally lost the plot with this

Naboo

It’s a part of the whole character of Mr. Plinkett–it’s very dark yes, and very hilarious if you are twisted and into dark humor. Otherwise, there’s always Hello Kitty Island Adventure.

I couldn’t finish your comment because of your drunken grammar.

That doesn’t ‘beg’ the question, it ‘raises’ the question.

Begging the question is a form of circular logic/reasoning, a type of logical fallacy.

Know the difference or some random asshole on the internet will correct you and ignore the rest of your points. Oh, wait … oh …

“to get their points a crossed”

I must admit, I laughed. “These are not the words you’re looking for.” 😉 Also, stop capitalizing random words. That don’t make no sense, yo, and it’s not even consistent.

“I don’t mind Pandering to the Main Stream as long as it keeps Our Nerdy Interests alive.”

I’ve a feeling it’s people like you who are to blame for Hollywood’s affinity for shitty products pushed solely by brand recognition. You know, if people who thought this way showed some restraint, you’d probably actually get higher quality entertainment from Hollywood.

You should probably take ‘hardcore’ out of your name if you’re going to be offended by jokes/actions a fictional character makes.

I thought so too, but then I saw this video. It’s pretty funny actually how unbelievably silly and pointless some of the action is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0mUVY9fLlw#t=47

when a Jedi use powers do they have to do a little hand wave? if you bind their hands can they use the force? Qui-GJ endlessly doing an akward handwave. Empire at the end Vader just stands there while shit flies off the walls…

JJ Watt doesn’t like movies

It can be found on Scribt

Jim Raynor (the online name of the guy who wrote the 108 page response) makes a few valid points, I actually agree with him that Qui Gon Jin is a slightly stronger character that what RLM gives him credit for, and I can see what Lucas was going for with him. But many of his arguments are…stretching it shall we say (especially when he tries to defend Padmé’s character). Raynor glosses over the fact that Qui-Gon really doesn’t have any a.) emotional arc, b.) personal development of any kind and c.) any actual stake in the plot. He’s nowhere near strong enough to carry the movie by himself, and he dies at the end anyway and is only mentioned a few times in passing.

In many other cases Raynor evades or misrepresent’s RLM’s points. Consider the following paragrah:

“4:40 Plinkett: “So the Trade Federation have set up a blockade around
Naboo, in order to stop them from getting space supplies. Which
instantly causes some kind of crisis, that we never see [screech
stop]…OK, I don’t get it.”
One praise for the RLM review that I’ve seen on various message boards is how well- edited the video is. However, these editing tricks are annoying and embarrassing when used to draw attention to points that are just plain stupid and wrong. Here’s an example of it. Stoklasa screeches the sound to a stop as if he’s making some kind of clever point here, when in fact he’s not. Seriously, he doesn’t seem to understand why a blockade would cause a crisis, and asks what that crisis is as if there’s some kind of story that needs to be told about it. This is simply unbelievable. A blockade shuts down trade, as he points out. That obviously hurts a society, and at the very least a military blockade is a violation of their sovereignty.”

Raynor here is evading RLM’s main point, is that we never actually see the effects of the Trade Federation’s actions on Naboo, despite them being an important driving element of the plot. We constantly hear how Padmé’s “people are dying” and how the situation is so dire on Naboo, but we never see any of this at all. In fact we never see a single Naboo citizen at all except a few pilots and officials. This aspect of the movie could and should have been handled better, but in the end it turned into such a wasted opportunity.

Also, the ‘rebuttal’ is filled with excessive nitpicking (which is something Raynor accuses RLM of doing), and a rather nasty amount of ad-hominem attacks. This is notable because later Raynor complains about RLM employing “smear tactics” and “character assasination” against Lucas.

jebiga, dešavaju se sranja… there is also “anser” instead of “answer”. you missed that one. now, hang me for it! and please, post notification when you make movie better than phantom menace, so i can review it, ok? 😛

If JJ Abrams messes Star Wars 7 up, he’ll be forever known as Jar Jar Abrams.

It’s an English speaking webzone. The content is in English. I was letting them know the correct expression [while also throwing in some self-deprecating and self-aware humour in to boot].

On top of that, I agreed with their comment, being one of the 5 current upvotes. I acknowledged I was being a random asshole, but perhaps they, and others, might learn the difference between the two expressions.

Cheers.

What’s creepy about it?

Everything in the original Star Wars trilogy is from the perspective of C3PO and R2D2. The only time I can remember them not being present is Luke’s confrontation with the Emperor in Jedi. The point is they always follow the action.

This is where The Phantom Menace completely fucked up, by not having us start with the two droids (“it’s like poetry, it’s sort of they rhyme”). We should have seen C3PO and R2D2 being servants for the Queen of Naboo or whatever when the Droid army attacks, making us actually give a shit about the people being invaded. Whereas in Star Wars Princess Leia is captured, Queen Amidala could’ve been rescued by the suddenly appearing Jedi, showing us how Jedi acted as the “guardians of peace and justice in the old republic”.

Sadly no, instead we have to sit through an hour of Jedi talking in a boring space station, meeting boring villains, then flying down to the planet and meeting a cartoon rabbit and…..God it’s just so stupid.

Thank you so much for introducing this into my life.

who is the guy in the right lower corner at 6:51? I know I’ve seen him but I don’t know where and it’s driving me crazy

I’m a fan of Posehn and that’s not him

Are you trolling? 😛 If you honestly don’t know – It’s Jack Packard. He is the bald dude from RLM’s best of the worst and pre-rec.

It’s Jack Packard, from Pre-Rec and a lot of the Best of the Worst videos. Only with more hair.

There’s just so much wrong with this movie that it’s impossible to cover all of it, even in a 70 min. review. You can talk about all the major things, but then when you get right down to it even seemingly minor issues turn out to have major implications. Take the bongo (?) ride through the planet core, for example. I get that in science fantasy like Star Wars you have to suspend your disbelief a little, but like Plinkett says in the Episode II review you can’t stretch the rules of reality too far or it becomes ridiculous.

First of all, to get down far enough to even reach the planet’s crust at the bottom of the ocean the bongo would have to be able to withstand enormous amounts of pressure, as would the people inside of it. Next, you have the issue of not only having to dig a tunnel through the center of the planet in order to make this kind of travel possible, but actually then traveling through it. This only works if the entire planet has no molten layers or a core that is extremely hot and extremely pressurized. So you could argue that Naboo is an entirely cool, solid chunk of rock, except for the fact that a hot core is actually necessary to maintain a magnet field around the planet and support life. Considering again the fact that it also makes no sense for the droid army to even land on the other side of the planet from their target, you’d think that if Lucas was really dead-set on them meeting the Gungans and taking a secret underwater craft to get to the city, he’d just have the underwater city be off the coast of Theed or something.

And besides all that science stuff, why would the Gungans have this planet core passage that leads directly to Theed anyway, since they don’t exactly seem to get along with the humans on the planet very well? Why would they even want or need that? My only guess is that they wanted to connect with another Gungan settlement on the other side of the planet, but we never see or hear about one. I don’t know, this is a film for babies, so maybe it’s supposed to appeal to the kid in all of us who thought they’d end up in China if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard or something.

I think the point he was trying to make was not that the ship gets damaged again after the shield is fixed, but that no one even appears to fire on them again. The shots would’ve been deflected, true, but ultimately the shield still does nothing because right after it’s fixed they fly away without being attacked again, which dissolves all the tension in the scene.

You know something else funny I just noticed? When the Jedi were sneaking around Theed they could have just snuck up on the Viceroy, destroyed the few droids around them and capture him, essentially solving the problem then and there by taking out the leadership and/or forcing negotiations as was there entire purpose for being there in the first place.

You could essentially cut out the entire rest of the movie, have the jedi free Amidala if you really want, then instead of fighting into the friggin’ hangar, instead go for the Viceroy! He’s right there, in the palace, and he doesn’t know you’re coming! I mean, what possible reason would you have to not just free some captured people for reinforcements or just get the Viceroy while he’s exposed!

Honestly, if I had to edit this film and try and salvage it, I would change the entire order of things – Have the Federation invade Naboo, this cause trouble in the senate, which started vote of no confidence and then the Jedi are sent to clean up the mess the senate couldn’t under the disguise of negotiating.
…
I’d maybe have Tatooine maybe be the opening sequence, a mission that Obi Wan and Qui Gon are on when they get summoned by the senate/jedi (because Tatooine is close to Naboo as established in Ep. 2). Then the Coruscant debate where they here the message from the governor (about the death toll) which leads to the vote of no confidence, I’d have Padme be the handmaid/senatorial aide the whole time (who will then later become senator herself) and finally I’d mash-up the start of the film with the end, to have the Jedi arrive supposedly to negotiate, the trade federation would hear from Sidious
about their true motives, (like an anonymous tip off or something,) and
then they’d be forced to sneak onto Naboo and somehow capture the
Viceroy by freeing people and killing useless robots.
Make the whole thing 90 minutes tops.
…
Fuck it, I’m gonna try and do that now.

The term for someone or something of Naboo origin – they use it in the film when Watto and Qui-Gon refer to the Queen’s ship as ‘Nubian’.

We can hope, nonetheless!

I can’t be the only one who is completely baffled by Obi-Wan coming down from the top of the frame going into that first droid fight scene. Watch closely and you’ll see him literally fall from somewhere up top, like he jumped up and over the camera?

Bullshit!
…and who exactly argued with G.Lucas during the OT era?
G.Kurtz, right? the guy who is basically responsible for this ”yes men” myth…
You’re actually praising the person who nearly destroyed ANH & TESB by not keeping them in budget!
The person who almost drove Lucas to death because of that!
The person who had NO business in the creative process of the films!

Kurtz,
for decades, has spun this yarn that somehow he was a co-creator of
Star Wars, and deserves much of the praise for ANH and TESB.
Unfortunately he’s had a ready audience of OT-only fans who have
concluded that Lucas jumped the shark and Kurtz must have reigned him
in. Yeah, that would be neat if it were all true, but it’s not. All
people have to do is look at Kurtz and Lucas’ track record after their
“divorce” to reveal the truth:

Post Empire Kurtz has two major
studio films to his name, The Dark Crystal, and Return to Oz.
Interestingly in both cases the studio wanted Kurtz fired because both
films were wildly over budget and behind schedule, and The Dark Crystal
ended the friendship between Kurtz and Jim Henson because Kurtz kept
trying to insert himself into the creative process, and the Dark Crystal
was Henson’s baby. Now to show you what kind of an a-hole Lucas is,
Lucas went to Disney and lobbied to studio to keep both his friend
Walter Murch as director AND Kurtz as Executive Producer despite Disney
wanting to fire Kurtz on the spot. Lucas supervised the end of the
production and gave the studio some of his own money as insurance… boy
that Lucas sure in a jerk.

Post Oz, no one in the studio would
touch Kurtz with a 30 foot electric cattle prod because the man simple
could not keep big budget movies under control… just look at the list:
Star Wars, Empire, Dark Crystal, Return to Oz. And I’m sure that had to
grind his gears because after all he was the line producer on two of
the most successful films of all time. Meanwhile Lucas continued to
churn out hit after hit and successfully grew a company he had
envisioned when Kurtz was still a part of the team.

So lets
establish a couple of things here, Lucas and Kurtz were not best buds.
If you look at Lucas, like most people, he has friends, and he has
business partners/co-workers. Walter Murch, Brian de Palma, John Milius,
Francis Coppola are all friends. In fact Lucas’ friends have been
friends for decades, he clearly values friendships. Heck the evidence
that Lucas and Kurtz were never buddies can be found in Francis Ford
Coppola. Coppola and Lucas had an enormous and public falling out,
mainly based on Coppola’s resentment of Lucas’ success (Coppola said as
much), but that relationship was patched up long ago and they remain
close friends to this day. Kurtz was never in that inner circle; he was a
guy hired to do a job. Heck Lucas even attempted to “bury the hatchet”
years ago and invited him to his AFI Awards dinner, and involved him in a
number of Star Wars anniversary projects, even while Kurtz was bad
mouthing him on the convention circuit… Man that Lucas is a Class-A
jerk.

Now Kurtz is out there spinning more fiction:

1)
Like “Fox wasn’t worried about Star Wars’ budget.” Seriously??? What
planet is he from? This is the same studio that was pinching pennies and
barely spending money on their final movie in one of their tentpole
franchises, “Planet of the Apes.” They spent a whopping grand total of
$1.7 million on Battle for the Planet of the Apes (quit a bit of that on
promotion, the actual production budget was closer to $1 million and it
shows), does Kurtz seriously expect people to believe that Fox was not
concerned when the budget moved from $7.5 million to $10.5 million,
especially when few on the board believed in, or understood the project?
That’s simply fantasy.

2) He also stated that Lucas basically
wanted to “remote control” Kershner during Empire. Yeah, the first
person I’d think of to remote control as a director would be MY FORMER
TEACHER… yeah, that’s going to happen. I can pretty much guarantee if I
asked my former Filmmaking 202 teacher to shut up and direct the movie I
hired them for the way I want it, he would tell me to pound sand. Irvin
Kershner had a 20 year track record going into this film; the last
person you would hire if you want to “remote control” a director is
someone with a fairly long resume. You would select an up and coming
direct. No, J.W. Rinzler’s “Making of Empire” makes it clear why Lucas
became involved in the production… cost overruns and budget delays.
Lucas hired Kershner because he trusted him, and he fully expected he
would be able to sit back in California and focus on post production and
editing. Kurtz’ failures as a producer forced Lucas to come to London
to get Empire back on track.

3) Lucas never was influenced by
Joseph Campbell. How the hell would Kurtz know? He wouldn’t he’s just
talking out of his butt. Lucas never states that Star Wars was entirely
based on Campbell’s work, what he has always contended was that Star
Wars, like other myths, follows certain patterns which was a central
thesis of Campbell’s. Lucas makes it very clear in the process of
working on the early drafts of Star Wars that he started to do more
research and came across Campbell:

“…that’s when I started
doing more strenuous research on fairy tales, folklore, and mythology,
and I started reading Joe’s books. Before that I hadn’t read any of
Joe’s books. It was very eerie because in reading The Hero with a
Thousand Faces I began to realize that my first draft of Star Wars was
following classic motifs, so I modified my next draft according to what
I’d been learning about classical motifs and made it a little bit more
consistent.”

That seems fairly reasonable, and I doubt Kurtz
would have any knowledge if that were the case. Given that Marcia Lucas
confirms that during the writing process of Jedi Lucas has Campbell’s
books on his shelf, it’s pretty reasonable to assume he was using them
as a guide. I’m really not sure what Kurtz is trying to insinuate here,
and it’s fairly silly. It’s patently obvious to anyone with half a brain
that Lucas was influenced by multiple sources when it came to Star
Wars. All one has to do is look at the motifs and themes running through
the OT, the PT and TCW to see that.

I’m surprised Kurtz has the
time to keep leveling these sorts of claims at Lucas given he’s in the
middle of production of Gangster Kittens right now…
I’m not surprised though that you support him though…you’re as much of an idiot as he is!

So…you basically wanted TPM to be a copy of ANH.
LMAO

Just following George Lucas’s logic: “Every stanza rhymes with the last one”.

When you want “poetry that sort of they rhyme”, this implies following similar story points, and not what Lucas did in just having visual references and using original trilogy imagery that meant nothing.

Also, the story I put forward was like one sentence long. Feel free to expand on it. Maybe the Jedi rescue the Queen right at the beginning of the film, rather than that being the focus of the whole movie, thus allowing the story to expand differently to the original Star Wars.

Even if this “ring theory” idea does hold up, all it does is further emphasise why the prequels were failures. Actually compare the links they make between Phantom Menace and Jedi: an inconsequential and unnecessary pod race (boring) is compared to the high-stakes battle of the speed racers in Endor. “Amidala falls into Palpatine’s trap and calls for a vote of no confidence” is compared to “The rebels fall into Palpatine’s trap and attack the Death Star”. You see my point? One is exciting, the other is boring.

One example that comes to mind is the confrontation with Count Doku in Episode 3. There is a very clear visual callback made to the confrontation with Palpatine, highlighted by Anakin’s execution of Doku being similar to Luke’s choosing to save, rather than kill his father. The issue here is that Doku was only introduced in the second act of the second film, unlike Vader who was introduced right from the start of Star Wars. Anakin has no personal connection to Doku other than that he was some asshole who cut off his arm. There’s no substance to anything.

These are visual, not substance-based links. How does the ring theory work here, when Ep. 3 is supposed to coincide with Ep.4, and 1 with 6? The ring theorists seem to just ignore whatever visuals that actually appeared in the film because it disagreed with them, and just further Plinkett’s point that the prequels are filled with visual callbacks that meant nothing.

(Some of the callbacks work, I’ll grant them that. I like the idea of
Luke being rescued by Obiwan in 4 being similar to Palpatine rescuing
Anakin in 3. This is where the ring theory does hold up, it’s just a
pity there wasn’t more of it.) The fact is, you can have all of these visual callbacks and similar plotpoints (which is what I originally suggested) but you need to construct them around a better story than what the prequels offered us.

Calm down kid. They’re just movies.

I was replying to the article you posted, so it was a fairly long reply.
Yes, cinema is a visual artform, but it also requires story telling, screenplays, scriptwriting etc. Making visual callbacks is cute, but ultimately adds little to the story.

I’m afraid film criticism will always be a subjective medium. You can complain that all I’ve done is assert my opinion, but that’s generally what critics do. I can argue that the dialogue in the Star Wars prequels is clunky, poorly written and lacking personality and humanity, and you can argue the exact opposite. I’m just saying that when an audience is watching a space adventure film, a space battle sounds more visually compelling than a boardmeeting.

Anyway, I can see there’s little point continuing this disussion as you seem to be taking it way too seriously. If Revenge of the Eggplant offends you so much, maybe you should check out other websites. Nobodies forcing you to be here.

They don’t annoy me. I haven’t watched them in years but enjoy talking about them, and joking about them.

I thought you were an angry child because that’s how you come across. Your latest comment does not change this opinion. The difference between me and you is that when I laugh at the prequels, I do it here, in an anti-prequel webzone, whereas you’ve just come here to whine at people for having a different opinion to you.

Just because the prequels apparently use ring composition does not make them good. All it says is that Lucas tried to construct the prequels around the originals rather than just write a good screenplay, placing visual callbacks and mirroring plot points over new and original ideas.

I told you not to reply back to me. You’re a creep (who apparently basks in this moniker) and I see little reason in continuing this conversation.

Good to know kiddo. I hope you sleep off your creepy tendencies. I’m sure it’s just a hormonal thing that you’ll grow out of.

I’m glad to hear you enjoy reading our comments kiddo. It’s nice to hear that you value other people’s opinions.

Either someone indigenous to a region along the Nile RIver in Southern Sudan, or a certain species of goat.

You seem to have a lot of negative feelings that need an outlet.

Have you ever considered Tae Bo?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk_wI1CrdZE

Well…these 2 pictures perfectly describe both this discussion & this entire ”webzone”..

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpt1/v/t1.0-9/11062389_10205422201168785_1220416971189259999_n.jpg?oh=7117f7d1a4fa3871de99f2f0eb6825ba&oe=55746D7D&__gda__=1438513268_c38d4afcfb164b9d96eefabe1e725e76
and
https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/11082639_10205374962507848_944456899041184624_n.jpg?oh=ed1dbba3fe4c55dd74904fc7cdb26690&oe=55A3FAEC&__gda__=1437226886_2bbdeba1591ae544951dc5857d27c7b3

Playing the devils advocate:

“the fact that a hot core is actually necessary to maintain a magnet field around the planet and support life.”

Well you could say that that extravagant power plant in which the Jedi duel Maul is used to power their artificial magnetic field. 😉

Don’t get me wrong, I hate the Phantom Menace!

Wow, I never even thought of that before… it could almost be a secretly genius idea. But somehow the thought of anything in this movie making sense actually just makes me angrier at it.

LOL indeed, the familiar uncouth rhetoric is unmistakeable.

You’re convinced you’ve seen the light illuminating our ‘shit’… personally I think you might just have your head shoved up the wrong place to be seeing that.

When I said I “can’t imagine”, I meant based on the events and information exclusively within The Phantom Menace. Given the story that we got on the screen, is it reasonable to call Obi-wan the protagonist? I don’t think so. All the rest of that’s a different conversation entirely.

He is fun to laugh at though. That reminds me, I never got round to replying to his latest comment. Will get on that later.

Quick question: Now that new Star Wars is coming out soon, are you looking forward to it, or do you automatically hate it because it’s not being made by Jorge, and that it will probably ignore ring composition, the prophecy to destroy the sith, and midichlorians?

Have fun.

The real question is, will you automatically love it because it isn’t made by George Lucas, even though from the looks of it, it’s made by a committee pandering to people like you with nothing but mindless action & nostalgia?

JJ couldn’t accomplish ring composition even in his wildest dreams. He’s a director not a filmaker. Difference.
What he & Kennedy are good at is PR tricks. They’ve fooled people like you that they’re returning to practical even though they can’t possibly top the practical work done in the Prequels.

P.S. In case you missed it, JJ is working on something GL created. when he creates a SW of his own…then come back to me…

So it’s safe to say you enjoy sucking Lucas off huh? Just checking.

Are you under prescription medication of something? Or are you simply not playing with a full deck of cards?
How exactly was me telling the truth of my age suggestive of your moronic assertion?

That wasn’t a “safe thing to say”. I happen to quite like Star Wars (the first one in case you’re confused) and I like parts of American Graffiti.

On the other hand, I could tell from evidence of your constant praise of everything Lucas does that you do indeed enjoy sucking him off, regardless of the quality he gives you.

”He is fun to laugh at though.”???

Well, ignorance is bliss and you are certainly entitled to maintain such an outlook on life…

Yes that was a safe thing to say.
Had the TFA trailer been under the Lucas name, people like you would already troll every site bashing it.

Where exactly is this ”constant” praise of ”everything” Lucas does you speak of? I have gripes (ex.Jedi rocks, the R2 rock, Radioland murders, his choice of KK at the helm of LFL etc.)but they are miniscule in the grander scheme of things.

And by the way, who or what exactly made your opinion on quality a fact i should accept? ex.Should i believe Plinkett’s claims of Lucas using 2 digital cameras simultaneously (other directors since then sometimes use even 10 cameras simultaneously) in some cases as being a sign of boredom like you,Plinkett and others here do, or should i know the facts behind digital cameras allowing the checking of footage (dailies) immediately after shooting a scene, thus allowing 2 performances to be captured and checked immediately afterwards instead of relying on the DPs guesswork? Obviously, i choose the second option of educating myself and forming my own opinions on quality rather than parroting an idiots arguements which are based on ignorance & prejudice…

See this is why I recommended tae bo. You take this way too seriously.

On the one point about if Lucas was making the film, yes we would mock it. After the prequels we have every right. But if it was a good movie we would respect him for it. He only has himself to blame if we’re more critical of his work than we used to be.

I will be critical of this film as I was the prequels. Just because we have hopes for it doesn’t mean we don’t expect it to suck. The trailer was a mixed bag. There were some positive elements but it still relied on too much fanservice for my liking.

On the laughing point, yes, you are very easy to laugh at. A child saying he’s 35 and acting the film expert because he found one essay on the internet supporting his views will always be hilarious in my book.

I was just watching The Phantom Menace commentary and it occurred to me. The answer to the question: “Who is the main character of the movie?” The main character is… Jar jar Binks.

Think about it. He’s introduced right near the beginning, He’s there for the first meeting of Anakin and spurs Padme into action by saying “Yousa people gonna die?” It’s even suggested that he changes her preconceived notions about the Gungans. As stated in the commentary, he’s the only character with an arc. He has a whole quarter of the climax dedicated to him. He is the most central character in this movie. So… there ya go. The answer to the mystery.

Well, I dunno about you people, but I just got rock hard.

What makes you people think that the original trilogy was good anyway? The prequels are how George would have made the originals if the technology was available at the time. Maybe the cinematography stood out but even by American standards of culture it was still such childish banality–as Alec Guiness himself often stated.

Free your minds and save yourself some money by disregarding this phoney blockbuster crap for what it is.

Just checking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdRo7okHCAc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAqxWa9Rbe0 ….

It was completely by accident, kind of like the beauty of life through the mechanism of evolution.

It’s a good thing I wasn’t trying to convey any ideas here LOL. Better even, in light of the fact that I didn’t actually ad hominem you, only reinterpret your own statement, satirizing it.
So unless you find the very irony of your own statement amusing, I’m not sure what you’re laughing about. But hey, if that’s the case, it’s good that you can laugh when the joke is on yourself, it’s very humble of you.

I can’t believe I actually have to explain this, but it seems it’s necessary.

Argumentum ad hominem, means responding to arguments by attacking a person’s character, rather than to the content of their arguments.

Now, I didn’t respond to any argument of yours by attacking your character, so ergo, I didn’t commit an ad hominem fallacy.

What I did do was satirize, or mock if you prefer, your insult of me and others who share a similar point of view, by implicating the literal lengths you would have to go to for your insult to be a factual claim.

I’m not trolling anyone here, nor have I ever trolled anyone on any thread, I personally disagree with the practice and have absolutely no need to indulge in the practice. Why would I need to? I am capable of getting a response from most people in a civil and intellectual discussion (which In my opinion is far more rewarding).

Have you finished venting now? Your attempts to provoke me and escalate a conflict to destroy my credibility will not succeed. I won’t sink to your level. Better luck with someone else.

Funny…this ”personally I think you might just have your head shoved up the wrong place to be seeing that.” isn’t ad-hominem then? Ok…

What you do is play the pseudo-intellectual and going around YT trolling videos of something you supposedly hate provoking others who have the mental capacity to understand what they watch…be it the Prequels or Plinkett’s moronic assertions.
The mere fact that your opinion is influenced by the ”arguements” of Stoklasa shows how gullible you are.

Will you stop? I don’t think so…
It somehow makes you happy trying to convince others that their opinion is wrong and your opinion is fact.

Semantics…how original…
Sorry, i don’t miss anything.
You make it look like this came out of the blue, even though on YT you constantly try to belittle others in various ways but always in accordance with your pseudo-intellectualism.

I commented on your actions (which are not limited to what you post here). Is that an attack on your character? Maybe.
Was your supposed ridiculing of me an attak on my character? It was, just as much as mine (assuming it was).

comprendre?

Ah yes…the same old ”I write a long comment therefore i am right” routine. It works well when people don’t bother answering; most times because they are busy laughing their asses off at the person who wrote it.
Your comment only shows me that you can read, copy & paste what a fallacy is. If you understood what is, than you wouldn’t be supporting Stoklasa’s fallacious claims…

Dismissing your ”suggestions” and snide remarks of pseudo-intellectuality, i’ll get to the point:
1)”[P]ersonally I think you might just have your head shoved up the wrong place to be seeing that.”
It does attack my character. It suggests that i am willingly blind to what you & Stoklasa say; even though i’ve rebutted whatever point you’ve made before on YT(some of which were parroting of Stoklasa’s ”arguements”). Yet i’ve seen you continue make the same comments trying to belittle the movies, Lucas & their fans.
2) “Thus this is a textbook argumentum ad hominem.”
No it isn’t. It is an observation, a conclusion if you will, based on past exchanges.

”Case closed?”
Wow! I’d buy *that* for a dollar…

Yoda- “Seeing you alive brings warm feelings to my heart.” What kind of Jedi Master talks like that???????? Pi$$ off Lucas!!

Jeeze, calm down….you seem psychotic. It’s just a friggin movie.

I’ve watched these reviews many more times than I watched the original films.

*CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

LOL. What a bunch of pretentious navel gazing.

He also doesn’t say it reversed like he usually does. as if Lucas just forgot

Troll.

It is a reference to Jesus of course but there is no God in Star Wars. The Force is a dualistic religion. Its about “Good” and “Evil” and the balance of the two sides of one and the same medal. Like in Zoroastrianism. In Christianity there is only God. And yes, even Satan is one of his servants (“The Book of Job” makes that clear).

It is nothing more than a visual cue for the audience. And if one assumes that the entire audience has seen the other three films, as Lucas did in TPM, it is also a bit lazy.

Remember the shots in which Luke makes whateverhisnamewas take him to Jabba, then he tries to do the same trick to Jabba himself? In the sequence with the majordomo, Luke’s gestures (if any) are very subtle and barely visible on shitty media like VHS. With Jabba, he does not gesture at all, just speak slightly different to normal. In all cases, a subtle, gentle gesture when done at all communicates a lot more than waving a hand about.

Qui-Gon’s gestures are exaggerated and quite frankly silly looking because a director who thinks his audience is full of eight year olds chose to write the scene for eight year olds. The problem being that as a three or four year old, I did not need exaggerated gestures or even what appeared to be anything other than a natural wave-your-hand-slightly-as-you-talk from Alec Guiness to know that his character was using SOME kind of power to bluff his way past the troopers. Such is the power of good writing and good acting.

yes yes I have studied religion as well. what I’m saying though is in Star Wars, Lucas is the ‘creator’. SW is obviously his biggest achievement; blantantly stealing the birth thing from the bible is pretty callous and ego-driven

Another thing: those twenty-or-so pilots they bring with them from Naboo. Yes, we know they bring the pilots, because when they return to Naboo they let the pilots out to take the ships on the planet. This means that during the escape from Naboo the twenty pilots were right there, in the ship. When they break through the blockade. When they go to Tatooine and spend days there. When they fly away from Tatooine and land in the capital. Yet you never see them.

It is actually not a religion, it is simply an explanation of physical reality in their universe. No more a religion than awareness of gravity. You would be closer if you said the Jedi Way was a religion, though they are actually guided by philosophy, which comes from studying the very real, scientifically proven mechanisms behind life in their universe. They don’t say “God/gods/spirits want us to do this”, they say we must do like this because we know how this Force thing works and how it can affect our minds otherwise, plus our reasoning leads us to the conclusion that this is a good thing to do.

Yep. The second of the first movies was directed by his teacher from movie-making school, whatever you call it. It was a great production, and Lucas got all the credit, so then he had a heavier hand in the third movie – giving us forest trolls defeating the top-top-top fighters of the galaxy-spanning empire.

By the way, those Ewoks. First they are going to eat other intelligent beings who they have captured, which is just as horrific as cannibalism. The little monsters only halt their plans because they are fooled into thinking C3PO is a god. This deception goes on so they humans can remain uneaten. They decide to get back at the Ewoks by using them in a war against other humans, a war they have no part in. The Ewoks fight and die without knowing why, because they think C3PO is a god and he tells them to. I don’t know whether to despise the monsters or pity them.

Aww. Fallacious claims. Well, that does make you sound more intellectual than “false claims”, so then it must be true.

They never did give Osamu Tezuka’s family any money for flat-out stealing his Kimba the White Lion – I mean Simba, did they?

Wow, wow. White-knighting for George Lucas. Maybe if you keep it up he’ll invite you to his home or something.

They should have just Summoned Bigger Fish and dropped on the viceroy. Like they obviously did during the ocean trip, TWICE. A monster fish was going to eat them, and an even bigger monster fish showed up to eat it. Twice. That’s some serious Force summoning there.

Jeez. Calm down, guy. I’m not saying it’s a good thing and it sure as hell wasn’t MY choice. It’s just another one of the 1001 reasons the movie is so bad… but one that kind of fell under the radar until now.

Wow, wow. White-knighting for Mike Stoklasa. Maybe if you keep it up he’ll invite you to his basement or something.

Good Lord, do you Alex Jones freaks need to ruin *everything*? Even RedLetterMedia comment sections?

“You, my friend, are all that is left of their religion.”–Tarkin, in the first movie. And Vader doesn’t correct him.

Oh look, it’s the annoying freshman film student from every party.

You mean the beauty of life through the Midichlorians.

>Fuck it, I’m gonna try and do that now.

People have tried, my man. If you can actually accomplish this edit and make it work, please let me know. I want to see it.

This is why Lucas called the boat a bongo. He knew that almost no one would be able to have serious critical discussions about a movie when they had to say shit like “Dooku,” “Naboo,” and “bongo” every few seconds. And sure enough, I can’t really get into your comment because, Jesus, “bongo”?

He’s a great producer, and an amazing cinematographer, he’s even a good storyteller, but a good screenwriter— a good director, he is not.
The only reason A New Hope succeeded was because he was still up-and-coming at the time and still had to answer to the money men.
I imagine if he had as much freedom in the 1970s as he did during the Prequel shoots, he’d of fucked that movie up, too.

Yawn…
Surely you can do better…

But I don’t need to. Everything I needed to say, I’ve said.

He sucks at writing & directing?

Funny…last time i checked he wrote all 6 SW movies (with Kasdan, Hales, Stoppard polishing the dialogue in different episodes).

And whilst he didn’t direct TESB & ROTJ, he was very frequently on set giving directions (evident in BTS footage) and what ended up in the final cut was his decision, not Kershner or Marquand’s decision.
Despite what detractors here try to do by attempting to re-write history, SW was like tv shows during this period; for examply the creative minds responsible for GoT are Benioff& Weiss not whoever is hired to direct certain episodes.Same with SW.

And the reason Lucas didnt direct TESB or ROTJ is well documented. He wanted to raise his newly adopted daughter. That didn’t go according to plan though, because Kurtz once again (but not the last time) f@cked up and nearly destroyed SW for the 2nd time…

BS. Post-ANH Lucas was the boss of Lucasfilm; no one could throw out anything. Everything you see was approved by him.
I’m sorry but the ignorance of people like you here is mindboggling…

Yes, post. After the original story, settings, and characters were established in the best movie and ready to be used as they were. Stuff was thrown out in production of the first movie Then Lucas got all the credit. That’s why the later ones have things like stupid little forest animals defeating trained soldiers and why the Star Wars Christmas special exists.

I’m not sorry but the denial of facts from people like you is what’s mindboggling. Lucas’ whole empire is built on taking credit from collaborative efforts and using the momentum to fuel his own stupid ideas. Prequels meant new characters that he had complete control over and they were all awful.

This is the same guy that wanted to do “Indiana Jones and the Saucermen from Mars” back in the 90’s. They told him it was stupid plus Independence Day was already blowing up so it didn’t happen. Now that everybody looks to him as some great creator, we have the Crystal Skull, wasn’t that great? Just look at the interviews from that movie. Spielburg is visibly frustrated talking about George pushing for that stupid “interdimensional beings” plot.

Except that this is from the writer who thought that parsecs was a measure of time.

I don’t give a shit how anyone has retroactively made up for this gaff by stating that the Cassel Run is through black holes and its about how short of a flight you can make it, it was a gaff. And I love the original trilogy, but sometimes when people delve into science fiction they don’t understand everything.

Point is, there is no way Lucas had any concept of an artificial magnetic field generator for a planet that didn’t have a natural one so people could live there. Not to mention that the politics between the Naboo and the Gungans would not support this at all, as we are made to believe that the Gungans are essentially ‘natives’ of the planet, while the Naboo may be transplants.

And your point about Lucas’ supposed mindset is based on your preconception(s), so don’t bet on anything.
Parthenogenesis is very common in myths, which is were Lucas draws his patterns from (which is not stealing).

Order 66 is not 666.
And 12 parsecs is not 12 apostles either, lol.

I don’t remember this precise Plinkett ”assesment”. But i don’t recall any of those ”assesments” i actually do remember having any merit. Most probably just another display of ignorance through superficial misrepresentations by Stoklasa. Typical.

So much ignorance from young A*holes that basically don’t know cr@p.

Sad to break it to you kiddo. Lucas had FULL control of ALL post-ANH Star Wars movies.
Among ALL his other creative responsibilitie, he wrote TESB (Kasdan polished the dialogue, L.Brackett’s stuff wasn’t used), co-directed it (he was on set 1/3 of the time) and produced it (because Kurtz f@cked up again). Deal with it!

Um ok

No, the problems are there. All Mike did was pointing out what many viewers at least felt when they watched TPM and the other two movies of the PT. The PT has in some parts the potential to be good and Mike acknowledges that. You might want to listen to Lorerunner’s Ruminations on YouTube if you’re searching for more acknowledgement of parts of the stories of these movies. But all in all he comes to the same or similar conclusions as Mike did.

I find your assertion that the “problem is many people can’t think for themselves and only ”see”
”problems” when someone else points them out or creates them” plain wrong, because the subtext is saying that if people would think for themselves they’d think what you think. So I don’t see much benefit in continuing a conversation where I will not deviate from my experience that the PT is crap and you will not deviate from your experience that the PT is great. I respectfully withdraw from this conversation.

The Red Letter Media people actually do make films. It’s all over this website. I think they know a lot more about film making than you do.

Not story. Fact.

There is no subtext. What i said is in my comment. Nothing more, nothing less.

Can you counter it? Nope. Nuff said.

It’s not wrong; almost every set if not every set was a blue/green room. Palpatine said that the dark side could save Padme, and then when Anakin asked about it after he helped Palpatine kill Mace Windu, Palpatine said he didn’t know how, but was sure that they could find out. That should have IMMEDIATELY made him turn against Palpatine. How was what I said stupid? That’s what a real person in that situation would do. And he wasn’t playing along. None of those thoughts occured to him ever. He could’ve played along, and then as soon as he left, told all the jedi about him. In the likely event that he couldn’t control himself at that realization, a realistic character wouldn’t care and would rather die. Padme was due to give birth soon, so why did Anakin believe that they could both unlock the secrets of the force and kill all those people in such a short amount of time? Why would Anakin even believe a person like that, and a stranger, would actually help him and wasn’t just lying to him to use him? Why couldn’t they with their advanced technology perform a cesarean on Padme? The only reason he became evil was to save Padme, so after she died, he had no reason to stay with Palpatine, so why did he?

The standard of writing that we all use to determine bad writing is if the characters do things that make no sense. Most people can’t take a story seriously when it makes no sense and empathize with characters who stupidly make their problems worse/make themselves a burden on other people/don’t do the obvious thing that would solve the problem. Most people can’t care about stories that revolve around that. If a story can only exist because of how incompetent its characters are, it’s a bad story. If characters do things that make no sense or don’t do obvious things that would obviously and very easily solve their problems, it’s bad writing. Anakin and Padme had absolutely no reason to fall in love with each other, but only did because George Lucas said so.

Your point is literally that I’m applying logic to these movies and I’m wrong to do that and that we shouldn’t have standards and that can should just be able to do whatever they want with the plots and characters no matter how ridiculous it is, and that’s the problem: these movies aren’t good when you use logic. You probably like the character writing of modern South Park. Writers and fans that think like you are the reason why The Simpsons, South Park, Family Guy, and post-movie Spongebob suck so much ass now. You like it when characters get worse. I’m glad that you can enjoy nonsensical stories, but my standards are a bit higher than that.

P.S. The characters might not be real people, but characters in a story that is meant to be taken seriously should still act like they’re real people. Your point is stupid.

Nah, I can’t link to the sections of the interviews, look up Lucas’ film teacher that actually affected the first movie more than him, find other names of people that worked on the first but not the second and third, etc.

But it’s not worth the effort if you’re this deep in denial. Your thoughts are none of my business.

And how does all that disprove what i said?

[quote] look up Lucas’ film teacher that actually affected the first movie more than him.[end quote]
^^^^^^
That’s gotta be one of the stupidest things i’ve ever read.
DId my teachers in highschool & my univercity professors fulfil MY achievements?Nope.That’s absurd!

[quote] find other names of people that worked on the first but not the second and third [end quote]
^^^^^^^
I know…Marcia Lucas blah-blah…
While you’re at it, why don’t you discredit S.Kubrick for The Shinning and only give credit to R.Lovejoy or discredit S.Spielberg for Jaws and give credit only to V.Fields, etc.?

Oh wait…they didn’t rape your childhood, right?

Not in denial at all. I simply do not suffer from ”Lucas derangement syndrome” trying to discredit him and detract his contribution, without which SW wouldn’t even exist.

Actually your insult *was* a claim. An empty claim at that.

Now go f@ck yourself!
Then you have my permission to swallow, f@ckace!
^^^This was not an insult. It was a compliment!

>The point is that you assert your opinion on things being ”stupid” or ”lacking tension” or being ”non-sensical” as if it is some kind of fact.

Well, it is a fact that the original Star Wars trilogy has had incredible staying power. Pretty much the only narratives with a greater influence on modern pop culture were written by Shakespeare. And it is also a fact that the prequels failed to accomplish any staying power at all, except in the form of unintentional comedy like Vader’s yell at the end of Revenge of the Sith.

>maybe because i find the 2half minute scene in the Senate in TPM to have more tension than the MF escaping a SD by going slightly left…

Tension? What tension? The motivations of most of the characters in the scene are unclear. Amidala wants an end to the invasion. Palpatine wants something, but we don’t really know what. Valorum is totally inscrutable, and it’s impossible to tell if his aides are really working for him or against him. Various alien senators have opinions about things but because we don’t know anything about the context of Republic politics none of it has any meaning or sheds any light on anyone’s motivation. Why does the delegation from Malastare feel the way it does, and what is informing their view?

Even the Trade Federation delegates don’t have a clear motivation because we’re never actually told what they expect to get out of all this. Even if they’re being manipulated by Palpatine, they still have *some* kind of viewpoint. Even the stormtroopers in the original film had a basic belief that those weren’t the droids they were looking for.

So we’re left with a scene in which only character has a clear motivation. Furthermore, we already pretty much know how it’s going to play out. We know that the Chancellor has no real power, because Palpatine told us and because it’s made clear early on in the scene, so he’s not going to do anything about the invasion. And of course he isn’t, because we know this movie isn’t going to end with a diplomatic or political solution. The Republic won’t do anything, everyone will go back to Naboo, and there will be a big battle.

So what is the tension to which you refer?

>the MF escaping a SD by going slightly left…

Actually it escaped by jumping to hyperspace. You mixed up your hackneyed joke. The tension there is not about whether Han can actually outmaneuver the Star Destroyers, it’s about whether he can escape them at all before being blown to pieces or captured. See, the opening sequence establishes that a small ship is all but helpless against the power of a Star Destroyer. And that ship was fully crewed and staffed, with an actual military complement aboard; the Falcon just has this ragtag group of people and droids who don’t all even like each other and are woefully outgunned. The fact that Han can escape the Star Destroyers, when we have been set up to believe that it is extremely difficult if not impossible to escape even *one* Star Destroyer, lets us know right away what a good pilot he is, and reminds us of how dangerous the Empire is.

By way of comparison, Episode I tells us that Anakin is a good pilot by repeatedly having characters say that Anakin “can see things before they happen” and by showing us that he’s good at racing a vehicle on the ground. Then, when actually given the chance to show us his skills in space…he basically succeeds by accident and doesn’t show off any particular skill greater than those of the other pilots. Hardly the “best star pilot in the galaxy” Obi-Wan mentioned in the original film.

thatsthejoke.gif

Considering English isn’t my native language and this is just a lame site i quick-answer things, i’d say can spell just fine.

There’s no point to miss, just bullcrap.

”Parroting” implies not fact checking. I have.
You haven’t. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here parroting the same ignorant BS that almost everyone else here does.

You’re not a grownup nor a ”Lebron”. You’re just an ignorant prick afraid if internet-geek rejection.

>”Parroting” implies not fact checking.

No it doesn’t. “Parroting” is just repeating what someone else said because you think you agree with it, but being unable to actually articulate what it means on your own.

Well, it is a fact that the original Star Wars
trilogy has had incredible staying power.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*So has the Prequel Trilogy despite the efforts of idiots like yourself & Stoklasa.*

Pretty much the only narratives with a greater influence on modern pop culture were written by Shakespeare.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*What? The SW story is essentialy as old as myths themselves. It’s the setting that’s different.*
*And influence on pop culture isn’t indicative of anything other than popularity! You know who else has had a huge impact on pop culture?M.Jackson! lol*

And it is also a fact that the prequels failed to
accomplish any staying power at all, except in the form of unintentional comedy like Vader’s yell at the end of Revenge of the Sith.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Or Luke’s stupid face & delivery of ”that’s not true…that’s impossiblerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”
*Is this why people like you still try to convince others that your opinion about them being bad is a fact?LOL*

Tension?
What tension? The motivations of most of the characters in the scene
are unclear.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Nope.*

Amidala wants an end to the invasion. Palpatine wants
something, but we don’t really know what.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*He wanted to be elected Chancelor.DUH!*

Valorum is totally inscrutable, and it’s impossible to tell if his aides are really working for him or against him.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Facepalm…*

Various alien senators have opinions about
things but because we don’t know anything about the context of Republic politics none of it has any meaning or sheds any light on anyone’s motivation.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Why do you people constantly use ”we”? You speak for yourself, idiot! Not everyone.*

Why does the delegation from Malastare feel the way it does,
and what is informing their view?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*They were on the payroll of the TF. Not an EU explanation but perfectly implied in the movie.*

Even the Trade Federation
delegates don’t have a clear motivation because we’re never actually
told what they expect to get out of all this.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*A planet & all its resources plus pressure on the Senate to relinguish
the taxation of trade routes. Even a child could pick that up without looking up ANY EU references.*

Even if they’re being manipulated by Palpatine, they still have *some* kind of viewpoint.
Eventhe stormtroopers in the original film had a basic belief that those weren’t the droids they were looking for.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Facepalm…*

Furthermore, we already pretty much know how it’s going to play out. We know that the Chancellor has no real power, because Palpatine told us and because it’s made clear early on in the scene, so he’s not going to do anything about the invasion. And of course he isn’t, because we know this movie isn’t going to end with a diplomatic or political solution. The Republic won’t do anything, everyone will go back to Naboo, and there will be a big battle.

So what is the tension to which you refer?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*So…you knew all that before even the scene played out? LOL.*
*Did you also forsee what Amidala would do? LOL.*
*Long story short, the tension comes from everything. From not knowing what Amidala would do, from later realizing Palpatine played everyone, the setting, the performances, the sound design, the social commentary, etc. I enjoy these things much more than Han’s stupid lines & tension made-up from a consantly maulfunctioning ship (because Chewie was an idiot and couldn’t fix anything).*
*Let me reverse this then…*
*Fromthe start of ANH we realize that the Imperials are complete idiots.
They don’t blow up the Tantive IV and eliminate risk of the DS plans
being given to the rest of the Rebels (why the Tantive IV didn’t just
transmit the?The world will never know…), they don’t throw in the
Tantive IV some gas to render the Rebels unconscious,
Vader can’t sense his own daughter even when she’s in front of him,
they don’t shoot the escape pod with R2, they don’t break down doors if they’re locked, they shoot straight ONLY off-screen, they can scan a ship from a distance but not when it’s onboard their huge space-station, they don’t dispatch a team to check for weird noises coming from their ”imprisoned” ship, they don’t wait outside the door of the trash-compactor, they arrive at Yavin IV but ”weirdly” enough the clock is ticking because their aim is hindered by a planet they could have aboided in the first place, they don’t send fleets of ships protecting their space-station’s only weakness………but we’re
supposed to feel our bitchy princess, the ”whiny hero” & the rogue
smuggler he met the day before (and had absolutely NO reason to return to save Luke aka completely out of character) are in danger? This is tension? You didn’t expect a ”battle” in the end? What did you expect the Rebels would use? Harsh language?
You know from the start that the good guys will survive and the”bad” guys will lose because of their stupidity! The OT has every cliche in the book! And don’t bring up Obi’s ”death”.The moment he says ”if you strik me……posiibly imagine” you expect he will return to fullfil that…which never happens (a blue spectre that only gives exposition dialogue AFTER everything happens & cannot physically help is NOT ”more powerful than you could possibly imagine).*
*I would go into TESB & ROTJ territory but it’s the same thing all over again actually…
*You ”taste” of tension tells me you’d LOVE Rambo II, LOL.*

Actually it escaped by jumping to hyperspace. You mixed up your hackneyed joke.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*I was refering to TESB. I didn’t mix anything.
And even if i did, it’s been months since i last watched them &
Han’s scenes bore me to death.*

The tension there is not about whether Han can actually outmaneuver the Star Destroyers, it’s about whether he can escape them at all before being blown to pieces or captured.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*He wouldn’t. Good survive in childish stories like that.*

See, the opening sequence establishes that a small ship is all but helpless against the power of a Star Destroyer. And that ship was fully crewed and staffed, with an actual military complement aboard; the Falcon just has this ragtag group of people and droids who don’t all even like each other and are woefully outgunned. The fact that Han can escape the Star Destroyers, when we have been set up to believe that it is extremely difficult if not impossible to escape even *one* Star Destroyer, lets us know right away what a good pilot he is, and reminds us of how dangerous the Empire is.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*BS. In the scene you’re describing he acivated the hyper-drive. Well woopdy-f@cking doo! That’s NOT what makes a great pilot!*

By way of comparison, Episode I tells us that Anakin is a good pilot by repeatedly having characters say that Anakin “can see things before they happen” and by showing us that he’s good at racing a vehicle on the ground.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*That line was only said ONCE! And piloting a pod-racer which no other human can counts just fine.
FYI, in many countries & mine, F1 drivers are refered to as pilots (and pods were not exactly touching the ground you know). And we also did see Anakin destroy a Lukrehulk. Anakin is SHOWN and proven to be great prodigy pilot TWICE!
Unlike ANH where we’reTOLD (but NOT shown) at least 3-4 times how great a pilot Luke was (because he played with toy spaceships & shot womp rats < told
about…again…) which somehow enables him to go from what is
essentially a Cesna to piloting a Space Shuttle.*

Then, when actually given the chance to show us his skills in
space…he basically succeeds by accident and doesn't show off any
particular skill greater than those of the other pilots. Hardly the
"best star pilot in the galaxy" Obi-Wan mentioned in the original film.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Did the other pilots destroy the Lukrehulk? Nope.Anakin did.
And in SW ''there is no such thing as luck'', especially when
Force-sensitives are concerned! Those are Obi's words from the OT, btw.*

Are you retarded? I didn’t give the definition of ”parroting”.
I said:”Parroting” implies not fact checking. In the case of people parroting Plinkett’s BS which can (wherever applicable) be fact-checked to be false.

>*Never read it! Palpatine’s plan still is a cunning scheme.*

What is his plan? If it’s so cunning, tell me what his plan is, in detail.

>*WTF? We’re seeing how his

plan unfolds and getting what information is needed to advance &

understand the story as we go along!

Why did everyone vote for him to be Chancellor? How did he arrange for Valorum to be mired in allegations of corruption? What did he promise the Trade Federation in exchange for their help? What was the fabricated trade dispute even about? How could he be sure how Amidala would react to the circumstances, and if he was sure, how did he arrange for her to be elected queen? Why were his allies trying their hardest *to kill her before she could even reach Coruscant to move for a vote of no confidence*? That last one is huge, because if things hadn’t gone exactly the way they needed to on Tatooine, she never reaches Coruscant, she never moves for a vote of no confidence, and the whole plan falls apart.

>Exposition for what you say would ruin everything!

That’s why the original trilogy was brilliant. Exposition wasn’t required to explain anything.

>BTW, were we told how the Rebels stole the

plans for the DS? Were we told how Vader found out Luke was his son? Were we told how the Rebels got all those huge ships in ROTJ? Were we told how Palpatine set the trap? ETC.ETC.

Do any of those things matter?

>Nope. It was suggested in the ANH crawl that destroying the DS would be a major blow to the Empire (moral + equipment) that would lead to

restoring peace in the Galaxy!

Yes, it was suggested. But it wasn’t, because the Empire came right back and obliterated the Rebels’ new secret base (after, presumably, obliterating their previous one on Yavin IV), put two of its heroes out of commission, and were well on their way to a second Death Star without the weakness of the original. The Rebels were hopelessly outgunned. They *only* triumphed in the first and third movies because they had the last of the Jedi on their side. But they have no reason to believe that’s going to be enough. They are desperate.

>However, inexplicably, we find them in a worse situation in TESB for unknown reasons.

Inexplicably? The Empire knew where their base was. They were always going to have to evacuate it. They didn’t have a single capital ship there. Just X-Wings and Y-Wings.

>A situation they escape because of a ”magical” cannon that incapacitates entire SDs and that they for some reason never use again!

“For some reason”? They never use it again because they never have the opportunity. What are they going to do, build one on the forest moon of Endor while the Empire’s back is turned? Think, man.

>but in a sloooooow vallium induced duel

Yeah, you missed the point. Luke is hopelessly overmatched. Vader is toying with him. You can see it. Luke is using both hands and fighting furiously, working up a sweat, losing his energy as the fight goes on. Vader is using one hand, pretty much just chilling out. But hey, if perfect, lifeless, choreographed fight scenes mean more to you than human emotion, I guess that’s what makes sense for you, man. For someone who’s so comically emotional while defending shitty cartoon movies on the internet, you’re surprisingly uninterested in emotional screen performances.

>And then, out of nowhere, they have ships as large as SDs

Yes, they built starships. How can you be so dense as to need this explained, but you’re willing to make absurd leaps to justify the prequels?

>and Lando – a racial sterotype space pimp as a general

Yes, you could argue that Lando is a racial stereotype. But let’s compare him to the prequels’ racism. The Neimodians are incredibly offensive stereotypes of Asians. Watto is incredibly anti-Semitic. The Gungans are incredibly offensive stereotypes of Caribbeans. And that’s just the first movie. And the thing is, Lando could have been played by anyone. He doesn’t *have* to be a black guy. But the racist cartoon aliens in TPM are unmistakable.

>and AGAIN are able to find information about the DS

The Emperor wanted them to.

>which AGAIN has the same wickness!

No it doesn’t. There’s no thermal exhaust port. They have to fly through the superstructure of the station, which is visibly much more difficult than the trench run was, before they can get a shot off. If Lando or Wedge so much as blink at the wrong time, they’re toast. And they couldn’t even *get there* until the shield generator was shut down, which was only accomplished in the face of overwhelming odds by a small Rebel strike team which included, again, at least one Force-sensitive member and possibly two or three, depending on how you interpret certain subtle implications about Han and Chewie throughout the trilogy.

>*Actually Palpatine ends-up being killed basically because:*

a) he gave the real location of the shield

b) he sent his guards out (who could stop Vader if the script wanted to)

c) he didn’t throw Luke down the ”shaft” by pushing him with the Force!

d) Vader killed the Emperor by throwing him down the shaft!

*All this had NOTHING to do with Dark Side destorying him!*

Boy, you *really* need to be hit over the head with things before you can understand them. Palpatine is arrogant and overconfident because the Dark Side makes him believe he is invincible. Listen to his language. He claims his victories are inevitable, that he cannot be stopped, that Luke *will* be his apprentice, that Luke *will* die, that Vader *will never* be turned. The Dark Side has made him overconfident. He gives the location of the shield because he believes the Rebels will never succeed. He sends his guards out because he believes he will never need their help. He doesn’t throw Luke down the shaft with the Force because he doesn’t believe he needs to, and it’s more fun to electrocute him to death. And yes, Vader kills him, because Palpatine was so confident in the power of the Dark Side that he could not imagine that Vader would ever betray him in that way. The Dark Side is what destroyed Palpatine.

I think I’m starting to see why you’re so bad at understanding Star Wars. These movies have no depth or meaning to you. You can’t understand what’s actually going on beneath the surface. All you care about is the most superficial level of what’s occurring. So yeah, if you’re that caliber of thinker, I’m sure the prequels are more fun for you.

>Nor had Luke & Vader (and no, the pursuit of Luke’s x-wing doesn’t count as ”met each other”)!*

They don’t need to have met each other. Luke believes that Vader killed his father and Vader knows that Luke is his son. The emotional stakes are obvious. What are the emotional stakes between Dooku and Anakin?

>*Theire relationship was given to us by exposition. We were TOLD about it! And we were told LIES!*

Yes, we were. I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.

>Anakin knows Dooku is the leader of the Seps, the one who tried to kill him, the one who tried to kill the woman he loved 3 times & the one who tried to kill his Master twice! That’s plenty enough to know! Anakin

doesn’t need to know whose father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate Dooku is/was!

If those are the emotional stakes informing that duel, why aren’t they made more apparent during the duel? In the original trilogy duels, there is continuing interplay between the participants. They’re not just dancing with each other, they’re talking and arguing with one another. They’re acting like human beings.

>The rule of 2 is actually quite clever! More clever than you it seems!

Why is it clever? It guarantees that the Sith will have to betray each other and means they have to rely on insane Rube Goldberg plots to defeat the Jedi.

>Isn’t this ”vague idea of the Dark Side” that Vader & Palpatine were fighting for in the OT?

No. Vader was fighting to bring order to the galaxy and be reunited with his son. Palpatine was fighting to prove that he was unstoppable and that nothing could ever challenge him.

>Separatists wanted to SEPARATE themselves from the Republic and its corruption (from their POV – it hindered their interests)!

Yes, but why? We know nothing about what they object to. We don’t see the Republic do anything horrible like blowing up a planet.

>That’s plenty more than we ever knew about Tarkin or Veers or Piett and at least as much as what we knew about Vader in ANH & TESB.

Yes, but we didn’t *need* to know anything about Tarkin, Veers, or Piett. They were ancillary characters. Dooku is involved in what are supposed to be intense emotional scenes between a few people, and we know nothing about him other than what other people have told us in extremely vague terms. As for what we knew about Vader: In the first film, he is a betrayer of Luke’s father, of the Old Republic, and of the Jedi Order. He’s a throwback to an older time not entirely comfortable with his own Empire even as he fervently fights for its interests. He does not place great faith in technology and seems to view it and its proponents with deep suspicion. Yet while he is a firm devotee of the Force, he doesn’t truly grasp its workings. He understands it only as a weapon, while failing to see its true nature.

>Anakin is also fighting against the one who tried to kill him, the one who tried to kill the woman he loved 3 times & the one who tried to kill his Master twice!

So he’s fighting for the most generic action-movie-guy reasons ever.

>Vader didn’t even try to kill Han or Leia before their duell (they were just bait);the emotional stakes come from the reveal of their relationship only!

The emotional stakes come from Luke’s belief that Vader murdered his father and Vader’s knowledge that Luke is his son.

>Bullshit!That happens as many times in the Prequels as it does in the Originals!

No, it really doesn’t.

>One of which was constantly wearing a mask, LOL! You’re so funny!

Making James Earl Jones’ performance all the more impressive.

>It’s the 21st century! CGI is here to stay!

You know, once upon a time George Lucas didn’t believe that special effects could ever take the place of story. He was right. CGI is great when used properly. I actually like quite a bit of what was done in the 1997 versions of the Special Editions. Not all of it, but the more tasteful use of CGI in those versions was great and welcome. Star Trek 09 also makes great use of CGI. But it is pretty hard to come up with CGI-heavy films that are also good films because too often the CGI is just a mask for the fact that there isn’t a story. I don’t have any objection to CGI on principle. I object to its overuse. If you can do it practically, it should be done practically, because CGI has not crossed the uncanny valley yet. Something looks wrong and unreal about CGI, and the prequels suffer because of it.

>BTW, it’s extremely funny how people like you only have a problem with CGI when the PT is concerned (even though it was and will remain the greatest display of practical effects ever – ILM has sold its modelshop, didn’t JJ tell you?LOL) but have no problem when JJ or Nolan or Miller (wanna see BTS from Mad Max? Greenscreens everywhere! lol) use it!

Again, it’s all about how it’s used. “Only a Sith deals in absolutes,” didn’t you see the movie?

>Without the PT the OT plays out like a childish fairytale. Its only

interesting character is Vader.Thankfully it was his story that was

brilliantly expanded and not ”the adventures of Han Solo”.

Vader has a redemption arc. Han Solo’s arc is transforming from a cynical, shoot-first, cold-blooded killer out for himself and no one else to a kind, compassionate man who’s happy to lay down his life not just for his friends but for a cause, and who would even step aside without an argument and let the woman he’s in love with choose someone else if that’s what she needed. Luke Skywalker’s arc is simply growing up from being a brash, impetuous, impatient, whiny, reckless, and sort of stupid kid into a dignified, careful, wise man. Leia’s arc is starting out as a haughty, arrogant princess and ending up as a down-to-earth lead-from-the-front soldier.

Now what is Anakin’s arc? You really can’t count TPM because he’s not even the same guy. He’s a child in that one. In the other two movies, he starts out as an asshole and he ends up as just a bigger asshole. Obi-Wan? Starts out reckless yet also authoritarian, ends up…reckless yet also authoritarian. Palpatine? Same guy as he was at the start, except now he’s in charge. Amidala? Same gal she was at the start, except dead.

>and i’ve never heard ANY ”ladiesman” say the stupid things Han said

Something tells me you’re not the best judge of what a ladies man sounds like.

>”Best overall cast”? LOL. Because of B.Dee maybe? LOL…riiiight.

Harrison Ford at his best, Mark Hamill at his best, Carrie Fisher at her best. Everything was working.

>If G.Lucas thought of that, then why is TESB the episode with the least amount of changes in the SEs? More BS i see…

I don’t know. Ask George. He’s the one who said it.

I think i’ve said it before. If not, here it is again:
Just pointing out the double standards of people hating on the PT.

P.S. I can’t stand watching ex.Prometheus or Interstellar for a second time.
However, i won’t spend 15 years of my life hating on those who do and consider them good.
They obviously see something i don’t. I’m perfectly fine with that.
And icertainly won’t wish death to Nolan or Scott.
Only ISIS and Lucas/PT- hating folk do all that!

>OK, let’s do a little thought experiment. It’s been ten years now since the prequel trilogy ended. Which trilogy, do you expect, is being more heavily merchandised right now? Let’s take a look at Amazon searches for “Star Wars.”
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Completely irrelevant. TFA is closer to the OT era and it’s very obvious Disney & JJ are pandering to PT-haters with this obviously fake PR bullcrap.*

>First result in toys is…a toy playset featuring an ewok, a stormtrooper, OT Threepio, OT Boba Fett, OT Chewbacca, ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..of
original trilogy characters as friggin samurai, FINALLY…a Lego Jedi
Interceptor from the prequels.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*I actually visited a toy store on the way home from work and all the merchandise was from the PT, TCW and Rebels.
You forgot Disney pulling out at Celebration a version of BB8 which was NOT in the films (but idiots like you believed that…lol) but was made to sell toys…EXPENSIVE toys!
Confirmed by Iger:
–But BB-8 was complicated. During the filming of the movie, it was a prop built on rollers and controlled by a puppeteer, he said. “You would see this guy pushing BB-8 around, actually controlling BB-8, but he gets the equivalent of airbrushed out,” Mr. Iger said. That presented a challenge for selling the new robot as merchandise. “What are we going to do with walk-around characters?” Mr. Iger said, referring to the real-life princesses, Mickeys and Buzz Lightyears that roam Disney’s theme parks. “You’ve got to have walk-around characters for BB-8, right?” So he asked his Sphero mentees — sworn to secrecy, of course — if they could solve the problem. They swiftly showed him a prototype. “I said, ‘That’s brilliant. That’s it,’ ” said Mr. Iger, who then routed Sphero to Disney’s consumer products division.–
http://www (DOT) nytimes (DOT) com/2015/04/20/business/media/start-up-solves-star-wars-droid-puzzle.html?_r=0
So it seems Star Wars is nothing but a huge toy advertisement now! But that’s good since Lucas isn’t doing it, right mr.Hypocrite?

>Yeah. How about that staying power.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*What about it? During Celebration there were tons of people in Prequel costumes, the clone Wars panel was full & so were the 3D projections of the PT (with people fully participating), DESPITE all the bullying from people like you.

But wait, how about Battlefront 3? Last i checked nearly everyone is complaining that it didn’t include space battles & PT era material. funny that…*

>Well that’s all we’re talking about right now.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Because according to you it means a film is better. Guess what…i don’t form my opinion whether something is more popular than something else.
BTW, the PT is immensely more popular in
France & Japan (among countries you may know) and at least as popular as the OT in the rest of the world (which isn’t as media-driven as USA & UK).*

>I said it is influential and has staying power.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*So does the PT despite the bullying coming from PT-hating/OT-only people. Imagine how many would express their opinions if they weren’t constantly attacked by people like you with vile hatred and overwhelming wall-comments…*

>By the way, Michael Jackson made pretty good records.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Never said otherwise. In fact i grew up listening to his albums in the 80s because my mother was a huge fan. However, his popularity isn’t indicative of his musical worth. Not at all!
There are tons of musicians out there who aren’t/weren’t anywhere close to his popularity that are just as good or better in my opinion!*

>Who do you like better, Nickelback or something?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*No, Judas Priest (by far), Mercyful Fate, Iron Maiden,Helloween & Black Sabbath are my favorite bands.
That said, if the mood suits me i will listen to anything, from G.Holtz or
S.Vai to A.Grande or The Prodigy.
I haven’t listened anything by Nickelback, but since it’s not the first time i’ve heard this sarcastic remark, can you describe what is wrong witht their music?

BTW, you do realize you’re trying to convince me that your opinion of the PT being ‘’bad’’ is something i should
accept as fact, right? LOL*

>Yes, out of context, it is funny.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*It’s also very funny within context.*

>But in that moment when you first experienced it, if you are a human being who understands emotion, it was like a dagger to the heart.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*No it wasn’t. If you’re a human who understands emotion & situations, it was funny as hell! A real person would most probably dismiss the words coming from his enemy as BS and tell him to F-off!*

It was *real*.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Nope. Fake as fake can
get. A person like Luke who didn’t give an ounce of shit when he saw his ‘’parents’’ toasted in ANH, would not make a stupid funny looking cry-face when his enemy would most probably try to be deceive him. *

>There is not one single moment in the prequel trilogy that feels as human and painful as that one.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Anakin leaving his mother, Anakin’s mother dying in his arms, Padme & Anakin ‘’looking’’ each other during the Ruminations scene, Order 66 and Anakin looking away at the Eclipse while crying are much more impactful to me!

Only scenes that are on the same level are Yoda dying and the 3 Force Ghosts appearing in the end of ROTJ (H.C. appearing was an improvement, btw imo!)

>And the proof is in the pudding. Vader’s scream was supposed to be raw and real, and everyone laughed at it.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*I saw the film numerous times and no one laughed! It’s funny how you claim ‘’everyone’’ laughed at it. Do you think using stupid Plinkett-hyperboles strenghtens your non-arguement?*

>Luke’s scream was supposed to be raw and real, and for the most part no one laughs at it except in a clearly out of context way.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Again with the stupid hyperboles…I and many others laugh. Your ”point” is moot.*

>He does? How do you know that based on what you’ve seen *before and during* the scene? There’s no clear indication. You only know that because you know he becomes the Emperor.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*No i didn’t. I was never involved in the EU. I only figured it out myself
(while not 100% certain) after the 2nd or 3rd viewing of TPM.*

>I can’t help but notice you don’t have any answers.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Your ability to form questions does not mean they are worth answering…*

>So does it then follow that everyone who was against the Federation was on the payroll of the Naboo?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Facepalm…No it doesn’t. Only an idiot would come to that conclusion while watching the movie.*

>Why are the delegates from Malastare easily bought?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Who told you they were ‘’easily’’ bought in the film? No one.*

>Is *everyone* in the Senate bought?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Everyone except the E.T. {roll eyes}.*

>And if so, how can the Chancellor be the only one who’s mired in allegations of corruption?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Who said he was the only one? Does it matter more when a US Senator is mired in allegations of corruption or the US president?Hmmm?

>If it’s so easy to see that senators can be bought that we can see it in a couple of minutes, why hasn’t there been some kind of investigation?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Does this question honestly make sense to you?LOL.
What’s the difference if there was or not? Is that important enough to dwell on it? Does it move the story forward?WTF?*

>How have these allegations tarnished the Chancellor, who the movies seems to be subtly implying is totally clean?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*When exactly did the movies imply he was ‘’totally clean’’? Nowhere! Are you not able to think in shades of grey? Are you only able to think in black & white? It would not be uncommon with OT-only people from my experience…*

>No, that doesn’t make sense.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Yes it does.*

>They are a business.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*No, they were a Trade Federation. A metaphorical fictional fusion of something like ‘’what if the ex. The European Union was also a multinational corporation’’; Which isn’t far from truth, since it’s arguably pretty clear that multinational corporations pretty much control our governments at least in modern times.*

>If they were interested in things like that they’d be invading planets left and right.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Only when their interests were ‘’abused’’ ex. the taxation of trade routes. Not unlike what the USA is doing when its oil interests are negatively affected.*

>Really.They’re going to invade a planet and the Senate is going to stop taxing trade routes.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*No. That was what the Blockade was for. The Invasion was a later order by Sidius.*

>That’s what you’re going with? If that’s what they wanted, then why are they trying to stop the Senate from finding out that there was an invasion?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Do you not know the difference between a Blockade and an Invasion?
Why are you trying to put words in my mouth?*

What is his plan? If it’s so cunning, tell me what his plan is, in detail.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Don’t have to. It’s divide and conquer by taking advantage of an artificial crisis he himself helped create. That’s the essence of it. He improvises along the way.*

>Why did everyone vote for him to be Chancellor?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*We do not know if it was everyone. It was the majority. Many voted for him because the alleged situation in Naboo gained sympathy towards him.*

>How did he arrange for Valorum to be mired in allegations of corruption?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Here we go again… (Background trivial information)
My turn: Again, how did the Rebels steal the plans of the Death Star?*

>What did he promise the Trade Federation in exchange for their help?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(Background trivial information x2)
*Slave Leia cocaine addict clones in metal bikinis and Naboo’s resources.
My turn: What did the Emperor pay the Stormtroopers to work for him & where
do the Rebels get all their ships?*

>What was the fabricated trade dispute even about?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*It was about the taxation of the trade routes (it’s in the opening crawl).
My turn: What was the reason Palpatine kept the Senate intact for decades and only dissolved it in ANH? OT only explanation.*

>How could he be sure how Amidala would react to the circumstances, and if he was sure,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(Background trivial information x3)
*Who said he was 100% sure? He simply knew her and was a great judge of character!
My turn: Why did Yoda say to Luke to not help Han & Leiahow did he arrange for her to be elected queen?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(Background trivial information x4)
*He made her promise free health care, known as Amidala-care!*
*My turn: How did Tarkin become Grand Moff?*

Why were his allies trying their hardest *to kill her before she could even reach Coruscant to move for a vote of no confidence*? That last one is huge, because if things hadn’t gone exactly the way they needed to on Tatooine, she never reaches Coruscant, she never moves for a vote of no confidence, and the whole plan falls apart.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Nope.He could do that himself if Padme was killed. He merely took advantage of this unexpected turn of events by having her move for a vote of no confidence.*

>That’s why the original trilogy was brilliant. Exposition wasn’t required to explain anything.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*LOL…WHAT? Nearly all lines of dialogue spoken by Obi & Yoda were exposition.
Besides, what’s to understand anyway? It’s all-good guys fighting for
fraternity & virginity VS all-bad guys fighting for the boogey-man, lol. It’s at the same level of faitytales for 5yo*

>Do any of those things matter?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*They don’t? You’re a funny little boi…*

>Yes, it was suggested. But it wasn’t,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*OMGGGGGGGGGG! Don’t you understand? Lucas f@cked it up…
BOO-HOO! He raped my childhood & ruined the mythos of SW…BOO-HOO! This makes the victory of the Rebels completely pointless….BOO-HOO! He also forgot that Vader KILLED Luke’s father! It’s the biggest continuity problem & plot hole EVEEEEER! I’m gonna whine about it for more than 16 years! BOO-HOO!

…Sound familiar? ROFL!*

>because the Empire came right back and obliterated the Rebels’ new secret base (after, presumably, obliterating their
previous one on Yavin IV),
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Which is stupid because the Rebels didn’t take advanage of the DS’s destruction (which was a critical blow to the Empire) and their own ability to be equipped with huge capital ships out of nowhere! So, why didn’t they do that and attack Coruscant again?

>put two of its heroes out of commission,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*ONE! Luke’s right hand being cut-off helped him stop masturbating and it shows in ROTJ, the only movie his whiny @ss is even remotely tolerable!*

>and were well on their way to a second Death Star without the weakness of the original.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*LOL, riiiight! It didn’t have a 2m hole now but a ‘’hole’’ the MF itself could fit through! LMAO!
It’s the exact ame weakness as the original only 30 times bigger!*

>The Rebels were hopelessly outgunned.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Not really. They destroyed the 1st DS with tiny X-wing fighters. They now had huge capital ships.

What did the Imperials have? A 19km Super SD that apparently didn’t have back-up system for the possibility its bridge was destroyed. Hell the 100ft Space Shuttle had 5 back-up computers in case its primary one failed and the Empire could fit a super expensive 19km SuperSD with about 5000 back-up systems? LOL
And why exactly couldn’t the Rebels fit their capital ships with Ion Cannon?*

>They *only* triumphed in the first and third movies because they had the last of the Jedi on their side.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*they only triumphed because the plot said so!*

>But they have no reason to believe that’s going to be enough. They are desperate.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Is this why they made a space-pimp a general? Or did his stealing of
Han’s clothes help?LOL*

>Inexplicably? The Empire knew where their base was. They were always going to have to evacuate it. They didn’t have a single capital ship there. Just X-Wings and Y-Wings.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*The Imperials on the DS knew about the base. When exactly were the rest of the Imperials informed about it in the movie?Huh?*

>”For some reason”? They never use it again because they never have the opportunity. What are they going to do, build one on the forest moon of Endor while the Empire’s back is turned? Think, man.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Nope. Fit their capital and medium sized ships with at least one each!*

>Yeah, you missed the point.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*I didn’t miss anything. You’re just trying to change the subject of what i said! …I said this:

‘’And Luke escaping Vader (after deciding not to strike Vader in the head with his lightsaber, obviously a chorecography mistake…but in a sloooooow vallium induced duel) because Vader forgot to use his telekinesis power and ”grab” Luke mid-air!’’*

Your ‘’emotional’’ bullcrap doesn’t excuse a supposedly professional actor fr@cking up an easy Vallium induced choreograpgy!

>Yes, they built starships. How can you be so dense as to need this explained,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*How can YOU be so dense as to not realize that it makes no sense for a tiny group of ‘’desperate’’ rogue Rebels that had to run from tiny base to tiny base, to suddenly have huge capital ships as big as SDs and the personel to man them up? BTW, where the frak did Mon Mothma & Adm.Ackbar come from? They appear out of nowhere! What were they doing during ANH & TESB? *

>but you’re willing to make absurd leaps to justify the prequels?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*LOL…nice try! The only one making absurd leaps up to now is you.*

>Yes, you could argue that Lando is a racial stereotype.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*I can also argue that the Imperials being only white men is racist against white men!*

>But let’s compare him to the prequels’ racism. The Neimodians are incredibly offensive stereotypes of Asians.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*LMAO, WHAT? There is NOTHING ‘’Asian’’ about the Neimodians. And in case you missed it, they were named after US
politicians (ex. Gunray after Reagan/pronounced Raygun). There’s even a meme showing how similar Gunray’s face is to R.Reagan! *
Are you braindead?LOL*

>Watto is incredibly anti-Semitic.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*LMAO, WHAT? What exactly is anti-Semitic in Watto? Give it…
Andy Secombe who portrayed him said he portrayed him with a [quote]
Italian-esque accent & that George asked for a used car-salesman! There’s a quite recent video on youtube with his interview. Last i checked Italian accents by used car-salesmen are not a race, nor a stereotype and certainly not anti-Semitic.*

The Gungans are incredibly offensive stereotypes of Caribbeans.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*LMAO, WHAT? How exactly were alien amphibians stereotypes of Caribbeans? There is NO similarity whatsoever! What exactly was Caibbean about the Gungans? And what exactly was offensive about being portrayed as mighty warriors? And when exactly did ‘’Caribbeans’’ become a race? I’m pretty sure by now that having the ability to speak does not make you intelligent!*

>And that’s just the first movie.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Yes. It has no racial stereotypes.*

>And the thing is, Lando could have been played by anyone. He doesn’t *have* to be a black guy.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*But he WAS played by black man who portrayed Lando like a 70s stereotypical black-pimp!*

>But the racist cartoon aliens in TPM are unmistakable.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*What’s unmistacable is your ignorance & bullcr@p parrotings on the
matter.*

>The Emperor wanted them to.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*No shit! Which is why his IQ in the OT is at G.W.Bush levels, while in the PT it was at Einstein levels…*

>I think I’m starting to see why you’re so bad at understanding Star
Wars. These movies have no depth or meaning to you. You can’t understand
what’s actually going on beneath the surface. All you care about is the most superficial level of what’s occurring.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*AMAZING! That’s exactly what i feel when i read all this superficial crap you & many others write when trolling everything SW related to bitch & whine about the Prequels!
It’s pretty obvious to me that you look at the OT from a mythopoetic perspective, but the PT from a literal perspective which yields shallow insights! I would have thought you’d have learned your lesson by now…*

>They don’t need to have met each other.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*So now it doesn’t matter? You complaint about the PT was that [quote] Anakin and Dooku have not even met each other before.[end quote], but now it doesn’t matter that Luke hadn’t met Vader before?
Double standards much?Hmm?*

>Luke believes that Vader killed his father
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*By exposition dialogue!*

>and Vader knows that Luke is his son.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Which we never find out HOW he came to know that! We’re NOT shown or told how! He simply ‘’knows’’ in TESB!*

>The emotional stakes are obvious. What are the emotional stakes between Dooku and Anakin?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*Dooku knows Obi (who was also in the duel) was Qui-Gonn’s apprentice (who in turn was Dooku’s apprentice). He was also a former Jedi who started hating their ways & turned Sith. The Dark Side fulled his anger against the Jedi.
More importantly, Dooku tried to kill Anakin, his friend/master and woman he loved MULTIPLE times right in front his very eyes! Anakin wasn’t ‘’talked about a father he never even knew & met himself’’! He saw all that himself happening!
Anakin had MUCH MUCH more emotional stakes than Luke!

>Yes, we were. I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*LOL, too funny! I don’t see me whining for 16 years about Lucas not showing Anakin & Obi as Tango & Cash ‘’hi-5ing bros’’!

That’s what some of you OT-only folk here do, conveniently forgetting what Obi said in ROTJ (that he was basically a CRAPPY TEACHER – hence the reason Anakin complained in AOTC and one of the reasons he turned to the Dark Side) when he wasn’t trying to persuade Luke to kill Vader by giving him an ‘’idealistic’’ image of his father (weirdly enough…Vader), but actually telling him the truth, now that he knew Vader was his father!

>No implications. If Han & Chewie were Force-sensitive then Jar Jar was too.

You know, I was about to go in-depth with an explanation of why the original trilogy heavily implies that Han and Chewie are Force-sensitive and how simply being Force-sensitive, as Leia definitely is, can be enough to turn the tide of a battle even if you’re not actively “using” the Force for video-game superpowers like everyone in the prequel trilogy does, but I’m 100% sure it would go over your head. Which is pretty pathetic, because what I was going to say is very simple.

>BTW, It’s incredibly funny how you tried to change the subject.

Responding to you in detail does not equal changing the subject.

>I can feel your anger…it gives you diarrhea…makes your butthurt stronger!

You’re the one flipping out about people not liking your cartoon movies.

>He didn’t ‘’believe’’ He had FORSEEN it all!

He *believed* he had foreseen it. Yet another example of the Dark Side betraying and failing him.

>Nope. Vader did! He was the Chosen One who brought balance to the Force!

Ugh…your thought process is so sluggish it’s actually disgusting.