Star Wars Reviews







  • Cody

    Star Wars is Dead Wars today. movies, games, comics.. just sux.

  • haloreach

    i fuckin like starwars

  • guest

    George Lucas is very arrogant or very stupid, to not thinking “i need a good director and screenwriter” after 20 years out the movie industry as a director and screenwriter, basicaly he become a corporate man.

  • John Johnson

    More like Star BORES

  • JW6

    My wife has forbidden any more imitations of Plinkett in her presence.

  • Star Wars Lover

    The Original Trilogy will always be the fucking best Trilogy of all time, along with The Toy Story Trilogy, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and of course The Dark Knight Trilogy.

    The prequels failed “magnificently”. They were total disappointments that failed to live up to the insane hype, aside from Episode III, but that’s it. The Original Star Wars movies are masterpieces that will be around as long as humans roam the Earth.

    And one other thing:

    The Special Editions won’t be the only copies remaining, not when there are fans who preserve their memories of the movies and re-edit them without any of the
    CGI rubbish. As long as piracy is around, the original movies will be around.

  • Mettlehead

    what fresh hell is this? i only wanted to watch the review of phantom for the 9th time and link it to a friend but… dafuc, RLM?

  • guest

    Do you care to actually explain what the hell you’re talking about?

  • Dicksaplenty Smith

    I can’t get into Episode II or III

  • Dicksaplenty Smith

    Why won’t you allow my posts guys?

  • Pete

    Anyone else notice how the new “Angry Bird: Star Wars” is based on the original Trilogy and not the new Star Wars movies. Now I don’t give a crap about that fucking mainstream turd of a “phone game”. But it just goes to prove that nobody want to acknowledge the new movies.

    I for one was pretty ashamed to find out that one of my childhood heroes (Yes it was George) went from being a young rebel, making a social comments with THX1183 and then later turing into his own version of the emperor and fighting with his fans (Making weird changes to masterpiece, “Han shot first”, destroying Lucasarts, making horrible movies, etc.). I guess I’m just disappointed that “heroes” (using the term losly, as there are no more heroes in the world, only guys in suits) can be corrupted and to find out that art, emotions and story don’t mean a thing in the land of money … I guess, I put to much faith in George.

  • RuneDK

    What are you talking about, Dark knight rises was a fucking sloppy mess, come on, an atomic bomb? Catwoman and Batman as a couple? What point did Catwoman serve other than betraying Batman and getting him in “jail”. Which he could only escape with a leap of faith … And Episode III failed just as hard as any movie by George Lucas except his first four ones … I do however share you opinion on piracy actually helping out for once. Thank god for pirates, even the fact that we think that i fucking absurd …

  • Pete

    Very true. Ten years ago I made a movie for high school, meant as entertainment, where we talked about the fact of life and growing up, one of the lines where: “When I was younger, I was fascinated by the Star Wars movies, but now they are just dead to me … “

  • Reaper

    Clearly you are a naive young man, based on your comment on getting laid and making dollars as being the most important thing. I would say you are a poor teenage virgin, and have no concept or understanding of love, emotions, art, storytelling, etc. Look forward to your late twenties when you suddenly realize that money can’t make you happy, that there is no mystery to life, only years after years of boring work and that we all are going to die alone.

  • John Diaper

    I hope George Lucas becomes paralyzed during a home invasion on Christmas eve. He is an ostentatious, irrelevant charlatan. I want this to happen more than my other ‘dream come true scenario’, in which M. Night Shyamalan is detained and sent to Guantanamo Bay – where he receives a random, wayward bullet from an unrelated fence line shooting between a Marine and his mirror.

  • Dapur

    So she doesn’t end up in 6 garbage bags.

  • jarofglass

    I’d love for you to review the original trilogy. These reviews are great except they depend entirely on the original trilogy, and you implicitly critique them in these reviews so to get a similarly assiduous dissection of your original argument would be exhilarating.

  • Marilyn Monster

    See you in 2015, Mr. Plinkett

  • Goo-ilt

    I can’t wait for the episode 7, 8, and 9 reviews!

  • jubalbiggs

    Disney bought Star Wars! Wow… You know, I thought that might be bad, but then I sat back and thought about it. As a star wars fan, when I want to watch a movie that “tickles my star wars bone” but I’m tired of re-watching the originals, I turn to two movies nowadays; Chronicles of Riddick, and (I know, weird, but) John Carter of Mars. If the people who made John Carter of Mars are making the new Star Wars films, I am actually pretty hopeful.

  • Watching all three of these reviews after hearing the Disney news was incredibly healing. I am full of excitement and hope for this franchise again for the first time since 1997. Thank you so much for making these.

    …also, I learned a lot about how to appreciate good film and articulate what feels bad about bad film, thanks for that too.

  • dehBoy

    Hey guys, the Disney sequel trilogy will certainly be as good as the originals…right guys? Right?!

  • Satan’s Panties

    New Disney Star Wars films = New reviews! Get ready to hate Lucas like you never have before!

  • Goofy, Jedi Master

    Disney.Star Wars.Plinkett. Can’t wait.

  • Dicksaplenty Smith

    Please make a video about the recent disney buying of lucasfilm and more important episodes 7 8 and 9

  • Seth

    “Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic”…. “With something as trivial as this tax dispute” Nuff said

  • Admiral Bone’Tapik

    Yeah, to a point when its not the same product. Like, Boba Fett is now a Maori dude, the Jedi being guardians of peace and justice for a thousand years instead of generations. Having Han move his head out of the way of Greedo’s blaster shot in the bluray or covering R2D2 with more rocks than before. Having Vader say NOOOOOOO to everything. And midichlorians? The force used to be mysterious and now its quantified. What have you done…moneyman?

  • disney star wars

    Leave a message…i woul like to see an half in the bag episode on what mike & jay think about Lucusfilm L.T.D bieng bought by disney.

  • Sean

    I’m so very, very glad to see someone calling out the Batman trilogy for the crap that it is.

    Someone likes it? Okay, fine. It’s entertaining? Yeah, sure. But good film? No. No, no, no.

  • I wonder if we’ll get an update from the Red Letter guys about Disney’s purchase of Lucas Films.

  • Mortwars

    You can’t wrap the whole Dark Knight trilogy into being terrible just because the last one was a pile of crap. While I don’t think they need to spend a whole move to turn him into Batman, the movie severed a purpose and was decent if not a little disappointing for the comic book fans. The Dark Knight however was amazing. I don’t think I will ever be a Christian Bale fan, the rest of the movie blew me away.

  • NateB

    What a twist!

  • Seifer

    Would you consider doing Mass Effect 3 (or all 3 of the games) for the next Video Game review?

  • erik0203

    It definitely severed a purpose….

  • I’ve never looked into it, but I’d like to know why there are no reviews for episode 4-6. I’d like to see them critiqued alongside their unpopular brethren.

  • Added depth to the already fabulous lore he had created. Of course, changing Boba Fetts voice for NO GOD DAMN REASON in Empire really pisses me off. Boba’s insane voice was a huge winning point for the Empire for me, then he changed it to the Jango actor? Fuck, that wasn’t even necessary.

  • I’ve always felt a bit of a biased attitude towards the two trilogies, so I would personally love a review of the original trilogy just to see if they get as equally judged. I can’t be sure if the almost downright hatred for the prequels was a joke at times or sincere, but these reviews are worth a few viewings all the same 😉

  • I completely agree with every single word you wrote on this site a year ago. I’m really craving some original star wars reviews.

  • Peaches

    LOL, no.

    The old Star Wars(what is this “SW” you speak of) were fairly simplistic and cheesy, but they weren’t nearly as idiotic as the prequels. I should know, I didn’t grow up with them, and yet vastly prefer them over the prequels. I was actually young when I saw the Phantom Menace, and yet I have no nostalgia for it.

    A person with a passion for film making would go through it, that’s who. And yeah, he is a sellout, he gave up his artistic integrity to make something that he knew would make money rather than make something good. No, if you take the effects out of the original story it wouldn’t be crap, it would just look really silly. No-one is saying that it was wrong of him to use special effects in more recent movies. We’re saying it’s wrong that 90% OF THE MOVIE IS CGI.

    In conclusion, the old Star Wars movies were cheesy but had feeling, charm, and tension. The new Star Wars movies are emotionless cash-ins that have some cool visuals and nice looking fight scenes that in the end do nothing remarkable at all. I can remember a lot about the old ones, but I recall just kinda zoning out during the new ones until something flashy happened.

  • Peaches

    Because the only thing you can really say about them is that they’re really goofy and cheesy, and possibly that there are a couple plot holes.

    Really, while there’s plenty to make fun of in regards to the classic series, there’s not a whole lot to critique unless you dig down really hard.

    Basically, it wouldn’t be nearly as funny.

  • I disagree, I think he could definitely rip into these and make it as equally amusing. Well, maybe not EQUALLY amusing (these are pretty damn hysterical), but still funny.

  • Because they’re pretty good movies. Except maybe Return of the Jedi, which isn’t bad.

  • Honestly, while I love these reviews, the majority of the points made were just as present in the original trilogy. The examples are really pick and choose to say, as in they give a slanted point of view. I’d give the original superiority simply for the fact that it was actually filmed better (i.e. sets vs CG) more than anything. When it comes down to most other points in these 3? Eh, not so much.

    What I’m saying is that if those films were reviewed with the exact same attitude then the reviews would be just about as bad. It’s possible he won’t do it because he KNOWS he’s looking at them through rose tinted glasses and that an unbiased review wouldn’t be possible, but I feel these rough reviews of prequels only add that the biased and trendy idea of “prequels?! LOL THEY SUCK I LIKE HANZ ZOLO MORE”, when most people in my experience have barely seen either.

  • What are these points?

  • You really expect me to go through all 3 of the over an hour long videos and point out every single thing I found to be too biased/incorrect? Or do you mean the points that are accurate in the original and prequel trilogies?

  • Give me examples of points that:

    1. are actual reasoned criticisms (for instance, editing issues) rather than just comedic nitpicking (for instance, PART-TIME)


    2. apply to both the prequels and the originals.

  • yukonses

    The point is the overall feel of the movies. The original trilogy inspired a whole new generation of fans and movie-making. The last trilogy cannot say the same. Of course you could find errors, you could find something wrong in any movie.

    The new trilogy NEEDED to be ripped apart by an attack dog because no one dared question Lucas. I wouldn’t call redletter’s analysis as professional and neither would they, but it sure made sense to a confused fan like me. Redletter did equally well with the NextGen movies. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s wrong with an entry into a strong franchise we love so much. Redletter helps with some perspective. You be the judge in the end.

  • I’ve got one, but it applies only to the re-edits, not the original cuts: Lucas and his never ending need to fill every frame with so much stuff happening that your eye doesn’t know where to focus (exemplified in the prequel re-edits by replacing most of the wall panels in Cloud City with windows to show ships constantly moving outside)

  • Look at that as part of the joke.

  • RyanC

    Plinkett made an audio commentary for A New Hope. You can play it off this site while you have the film on. He spends a lot of it telling the audience how well it was made and put together, but does genuinely tear into the film’s failings from time to time, you might want to give that a listen.

  • G. Jardoness

    “Return of the Jedi” had the elements which, after festering for nearly two-decades, became what the original trilogy turned out to be:

    – Yoda and Obi Wan turning from wise sages to blithering idiots.
    – The ham-handed dialogue between Luke & Leia and Leia & Han,
    and the completely awkward inability to relate to or convey anything
    remotely human.
    – The destruction of Han Solo as a rouge and Leia as an independent
    badass… Turning both into simpering, love-sick puppies.
    – The philosophy which painted the Jedi into an emotional corner where
    they couldn’t be passionate, complex, or even very interesting.
    – The belief ‘if one is good, a thousand must be better’ use of special
    – The reduction of every conflict into a cartoonish, slap-stick farce.

  • Yezzir!

    “Again, it’s like poetry, so that they rhyme, every stanza rhymes with the next one.” George Lucas you fuck! Go back to teaching poetry for 3rd graders at the community center and stop wasting my time!

  • Jake

    But I feel that the original trilogy inspired the entire generation because of the time it was made. If it was made in 1999 it would be in the exact (or close to) sam situation the new ones are now.

    (Well actually no, they’d be basic, fun, action space operas that no one would rave or bitch about).

  • wikiality

    That’s not true, but you and everyone else thinking that is why we got the prequels instead of the Han Solo trilogy. Nearly everything from the 90s suffered from “kids these days” syndrome where everything was made super lame to appeal to the “fact” that “kids these days” won’t accept anything more than as many lightsabers, robots, and cartoon rabbits we can shove in. “Kids these days” all got ADHD and can’t pay attention to things unless theyre on ritalin so we’ll FILL THE FRAME…that won’t do the opposite of what we set out to accomplish. And ritalkids always were spacey and distant so nobody cared about being their friend while they were paying attention to everything. I dunno maybe a generation and a half of “the adults in charge” complaining about this crap as finally made it true that gen z is as programmable and mindless and require handholding as they’ve been saying it is since the big issue was gen x.

    How bout those who don’t want kids to be annoying gooey twerps who like Jar Jar Binks, they don’t market Jar Jar Binks to like anyone potty trained.

    Speaking of potty training: It is unacceptable to send your kid to school not housebroken. You don’t get big boy panties until you can keep pullups clean. This has nothing to do with anything other than as a general PSA and on the subject of “generations”. Seriously your unwillingness to keep your child from pissing and shitting themself past the reasonable age should never be inflicted on others. That’s why we have pullups. Wearing a pullup does not damage self image nearly as much as no one wanting to come within 20 yards of you lest you go all Nat Nerd on their ass. I got to the point where I didn’t want to go to school because I dreamed of swimming in an ocean of piss. And it really seemed like only a handful or so of us could use a toilet like a normal person and not our drawers. I’m bitter about it 20 years later and won’t add the kids who did it on Facebook but I also have problems with people I went to first grade with needing to be my friend on Facebook.

    Also on generations: GENERATIONS SUCKED

  • wikiality

    The more you like the original series the less you like the prequels period. The more you like the prequels the more your opinion just doesn’t matter.

  • Sensei21

    That’s an extremely elitist and narrow minded way to look at it. I like all 6, regardless of what some one online feels should be correct.

  • Sensei21

    I just might, thanks! Look at that, a reasonable comment without being incredibly biased or acting like a total dick, you’re the first one here.

  • Ben

    I think you need to see a psychiatrist. You have a lot of repressed anger from your childhood.

  • GoodLarry

    What did Obi-Wan tell Owen and Beru when he called to say he was dropping off Anakin’s orphan son? They didn’t say anything or ask any questions when he came by. They just took the baby. At that point, Obi-Wan thought that Anakin was dying or dead. None of them knew that he had become Frankenstein’s monster. Did Owen and Beru ever figure out that Anakin was Darth Vader? Were they ever even aware of Darth Vader at all? Tattooine is apparently pretty remote, being on the Outer Rim. If Vader ever visited Tattooine, I’m sure he’d stop by and say “hi.” Unless his memories of being Anakin are fuzzy. Maybe his brain was given a once-over when he was put in the suit. Palpatine’s behind it all!

  • GoodLarry

    I’m very much looking forward to the inevitable Plinkett audio commentary for Empire and Jedi. Every day I anxiously check the site for them, and for Space Cop!

  • Pessimystic

    I can’t help but feel little hesitant about the new trilogy (7, 8 & 9).

    Will they bring back Boba Fett, retconning him out of his Sarlaac death?

    Assuming that Yoda and Obi-Wan and Anakin are still hangin’ around as Force Ghosts, they’ll probably cast Ewan McDonald and Hayden Panettiere, too.

    Let’s go ahead and shoehorn in Mace. We can just say he survived his fall, and hid out for several decades. He’d be like a hundred by the time the new trilogy takes place, but Sam has only aged a decade since episode 3. Who cares, it’s just continuity.

    Or the easy explanation: clones! Vader and the Emperor are still around because clones! Boba Fett’s back because clones! Now there’s 2 Jar Jars because clones! Han and Leia’s kid is really Anakin’s clone! The stormtroopers are all clones! Krieger’s really Hitler because clones! Clones! Clones!

  • Awful Words

    That’s some pretty awesome sarcasm right there.

  • Awful Words

    If I cloned myself and started a band with my clones, we’d still break up over creative differences.

  • Awful Words

    Also, by the time they were making RotJ, Star Wars was already a pop culture phenomenon. It had become self-aware, and was beginning to cannibalize itself creatively.

    – The opening shot of RotJ mimics the opening shot of Ep. 4.
    – The early scene with the driods in the desert mimics the first act of Ep. 4. That one gets a pass, because of course they had to go get Han from Jabba on Tattooine.
    – The Act 3 climax ups the ante from the first 2 movies, because this time there’s gotta be more, and it’s gotta be faster, and it’s gotta be overblown.
    – We built another Death Star because we didn’t know what else to do!

    When a movie cannibalizes its own creativity, it takes me out of the moment. I feel like I’m being blatantly marketed to. I also start to question the genuine creativity of the “creative team.”

    On a related note, JJ’s last two space-action films seemed shamelessly self-aware.

    Whatever. Everything’s a product. Creativity’s only important if it’s exploitable. Cannibalism works because at least then people know what they’re being fed…

  • Bob

    Boba Fett didn’t die in the Sarlaac, that’s already been established in the expanded universe. And I don’t think even Disney would be stupid enough to try bring and back Mace.

  • Pessimystic

    “Boba Fett didn’t die in the Sarlaac, that’s already been established in the expanded universe.”

    [with fingers in my ears]
    I can’t hear you! La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la!

  • Guest

    My god…I just visited an alternate reality where Harry Plinkett made the prequels and George Lucas reviewed them. He didn’t find much to complain about.

  • KL

    Dude, that stupid “expanded universe” isn’t canonical! If you think that the sequel trilogy will be based on all that post-ROTJ EU crap then you’re in for a big surprise because they’re not going to do something so unoriginal as that for crying out loud. The movies dictate what really happens in the Star Wars universe, not some books and video games that weren’t even authored by Lucas himself. There will not be any Boba Fett, okay? He was a minor, unimportant character who died. End of story. Move on. It’s been stated that the films will take place 30-40 years after the events of the original trilogy. There won’t be a bunch of Sith lords all over the place, Luke will not have some wife named Mara Jade Skywalker, the gang won’t have a bunch of kids and all baring the names of past characters like Han Skywalker or Ben Solo or whatever, and there certainly will not be any Boba Fett!

  • Alex Lee

    Err, I heard that Episode 7 won’t be drawing on the Expanded Universe in favor of a new, original story.

  • Alex Lee

    Or he’s trying to be like Plinkett, it’s really hard to tell.

  • Topdek

    ROTJ is entirely redeemed by Ewoks dying for the rebel cause and by Vader’s death and redemption. Modern movies would never show cuddly little creatures getting killed by the villains, and Luke cradling his dying father is probably the most emotional moment in the whole series.

  • Alex Lee

    Even then, Polonius said it in Hamlet, which is one of the longest of the Shakespearean tragedies.

  • Alex Lee

    I dunno, The Lost World seemed to have done that when they did the Godzilla thing at the end. It was at that point in my then pre pubescent mind that I thought, “This is clearly getting stupid.”

  • Alex Lee

    It’s so sad that a Half in the Bag episode is far better than a quote unquote “professional reviewer,” outside of Ebert, of course.

  • Thom

    The Expanded Universe is indeed canonical. There are various
    gradations of Star Wars canon that distinguish the movies, books, video
    games, and so forth.

  • Boba Fret

    J.J. Abrams will do to Star Wars what he did to Star Trek. References to the old star wars and plenty of action, but they’ll be mass appeal ‘flash and bang’ films rather than anything ‘canonical’ or something that carries the tone and undertones of the original trilogy. Its what he does – anyone ever read his ‘Superman Lives’ Script from 2003?

    Lex Luthor can fly, and is really from Krypton too, which wasn’t destroyed. That’s just the start of the travesty. Its on Scribd here –

    Oh, and it all takes place in Gotham City not Metropolis because…. er.. whatever.

    My fear is after epsiode 7, I’ll be thinking “Come back George all is forgiven, even Jar Jar!” and hyperbolic fanboys in their late 30’s will be running around saying “J.J. Abrams raped my adulthood”.

  • Guest

    Have you guys heard of the Star Wars Minute podcast? They’re discussing each minute of A New Hope in a daily serial. It’s entertaining as hell, and I’m sure they’d enjoy having either Mike or Jay as a guest. Or just listen. It’s pretty sweet.

  • vontux

    In this universe did the number of hooker disappearances rise sharply?

  • TapewormBike

    I can’t wait to see th review for Star Wars Episode 7 : Old people with lightsabers

  • Alex Lee

    I dunno…the whole series includes Empire Strikes Back and the scene where he reveals he’s his father. So I’m iffy about that kind of ranking.

  • Alex Lee

    John Carter’s not a terrible film. I think they just spent too much but couldn’t fix the marketing problems in it, as the title doesn’t make people think it takes place in space.

  • Alfred Houston Noble IV

    Don’t worry… it’ll get retconned. I guarantee you Disney and the people working on 7-9 give zero shits about EU canon.

  • Regan

    All of these Star Wars reviews total to be 4 hours 11 minutes.

    Never marathoned them until last night. Time well spent! 🙂

  • Regan

    JJ Abrams is a bad person who hates ice cream, eats puppies, drinks out of the carton, and talks during the movies he destroys.

  • Awful Words

    Dear Mr. Plinkett,

    What is going to be your next review? Please let me know in advance, because I don’t like surprises. I am very skittish, and tend to get stabby, so please don’t sneak up behind me.

  • TapewormBike

    I am dissapointed. Only one downvote? That comment was lame as fuck.

  • Awful Words

    I get what you’re saying about how modern standards can be overly-sensitive about what is shown compared to a few decades ago. And don’t get me wrong – I love watching Ewoks die; that’s good stuff. But for me, what would’ve really been great is if there hadn’t been any Ewoks to begin with.

  • Awful Words

    True, but ever since I started sleeping with my therapist, she’s been forcing me to say and do all sorts of awful shit, like trolling for no reason. I think she just confuses the villains in John Carter with the villains in The Last Airbender. To this day, she can’t watch The Daily Show without yelling at Aasif Mandvi on screen. I keep telling her that John Carter had nothing to do with that, but then she just manipulates me into doing something shady. Like, why would she need my PIN? We don’t have a joint account.

  • Awful Words

    Come on, I can’t be the only one who got the Archer reference.

  • Awful Words

    “Hey Owen? Yeah, you don’t know me. My name’s Obi-Wan…I mean Ben. I meant to say my name is Ben. I’m a friend of your step-brother Anakin. Huh? Yeah, the kid that slaughtered a whole tribe of desert nomads while your family made small-talk with his bland girlfriend. Then he brought back his mom’s husk and burned it in your yard. Uh-huh. That guy.

    Well, he and his bland girlfriend – wife – had twins recently, and she died in childbirth. And before she went into labor, Anakin went and murdered a whole bunch of little kids. That’s neither here nor there, really. But then he started talking a bunch of shit to me, and that’s when I was like ‘you better step back in line, son, lest I use the Force to bitch-slap your ass all over this volcano!’ Long story short, I chopped off his legs and left him to burn to death. What’s that? Well, I guess you could construe that as cruel. That’s your opinion.

    So anyway, listen: we need you to raise one of Anakin’s orphans. Wait, don’t hang up! Hear me out. Even though I’m partly responsible for them being orphans, I can’t raise them. I’m really not good with kids. They’re just so fucking annoying. The last time I was around a kid, I chopped off his legs and left him to burn to death! Now, I know that working on a moisture farm is tough work, but slavery is legal on Tatooine. Let me give you one of these kids to work his ass off on your farm: repairing vaporators, shoveling Bantha shit, sweeping out your dirt house, whatever you want. What? Yeah, you’re right: it IS a pretty sweet deal when you think about it, heh heh.

    So, I’m almost at your house. It’s the one that looks like a dirt pit, right?”

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    Haha! “Now there’s 2 Jar Jars because clones” – sounds like a George Lucas idea. (“Jar Jar is the key to all this…”)

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    Replace all mentions of “kids” with “younglings”, and you’ve got yourself a bit of dialogue which fits seamlessly into the Episode III script there. Something to add into the next format release, perhaps?

  • FearAndSlothing
  • RRB

    To make everything better i think Disney’s the Lucasfilm should just
    remake the prequels to the original trilogy and make new sequels to the
    prequels, that way episodes I,II,III wont affect the overall story of
    what star wars was but then there would be sequels to the prequels and a
    remake of a prequel to a sequel with a new trilogy coming to be made
    into more prequels and….ouch…MY FUCKIN BRAIN!!!

  • Andrew St. Clair

    That’s because the Expanded Universe is just a bunch of bullshit made up by some idiots.

  • Luke DeSmith

    Where are the stupid videos where Plinkett slurs his words and drool drips down his chin while he pisses and moans about how terrible The Empire Strikes Back was? His jokes are not funny and he is obviously not qualified to review anything. I will never return to this site again.

  • DeColonise

    At midnight I will Kill George Lucas with a shovel

  • Kelsie

    I never get tired of watching the Star Wars Plinkett reviews. I’ve seen them probably 8 times by now. Every now and then I just marathon them. It’s gotten to the point where if my husband and I are watching a show or movie and someone knows something and it hasn’t been established how they know it, it’s a race to see who will say, “How do you know that? Did you read the script?” in Plinkett’s voice first.

  • MysteryErection

    Trollolol. Troll.

    Plinkett would never EVER disrespect Empire.

    Favourite comedy moment of Plinkett’s illustrious career: “Star Wars Episode 1 even broke new ground by providing the first gay character in Star Wars” — cut to dance track over Darth Maul being FABULOUS —

    ‘Nuff said.

  • bruce wayne

    Lukey, re watch the Phantom Menance intro video, he addresses why people like you need to just not watch his reviews. Anyone calling themselves a star wars fan that thinks any of the prequels are superior to Empire is NEVER going to get why these reviews are so accurate and amusing. The site will not miss you bye bye.

  • bruce wayne

    In the words of Harry S. Plinket, “don’t tell me it was explained in one of those god damn books or cartoons. I ain’t never read one of those books. So don’t give me that bullshit or else you ain’t getting a pizza roll, you got it?” In the EU the emperor also came back like three damn times and Han Solo’s cousin is the leader of a movement named after an eighties English pop band. The EU is a playground for established Sci Fic writers who want to pay homage to their favorite characters. Even if it gets used in some of the spin off films, and trust me people it will, it’s just going to be a bunch of lens flares, red matter and female characters in slave girl outfits. .

  • RRB

    With Harrison Ford getting injured by a practical door on the set
    of star wars VII, i couldn’t help think that George (not Palpatine) is
    behind it all.
    i think J.J has been taunting George with
    pictures of practical puppets and sets, this has made the beard very
    angry and with all the power George has I’m sure he could of arranged
    for this “accident” to happen as a bold and dynamic psychological attack
    on Abrams to make him think “maybe i should of used green screen sets after all”

  • Stef

    I want a pizza roll

  • Jacob De Paz

    You might be on to something there, sir.

  • RRB

    George will get them all eventually…I’m personally looking forward to seeing CGI leg replacement for Harrison Ford!

  • ScottMintred

    Yeah, that’s a real good point.

  • thievesarmy

    What a bizarre question. Why would he (or anyone) be ranting about how bad TESB is? It’s arguably the best of all the SW films, but really all the originals were great. This is about how awful the prequels are. News flash Walter Cronkite.

  • thievesarmy

    Except that Kasdan is working closely with him, and Kathleen Kennedy is overseeing all. They’re in good hands and JJ shouldn’t have too much autonomy to screw things up. Kasdan’s involvement alone says to me they’re serious about returning to the original greatness.

  • thievesarmy

    The Boba Fett death doesn’t need to be ret-conned because it wasn’t explicitly shown to have happened. You see him fall into the pit, but you don’t see him die. That’s one of the oldest laws of movie logic – if it hasn’t been shown outright and emphatically, the door is still open.

  • thievesarmy

    See my answer above. Regardless of the expanded universe, they don’t show him die in ROTJ. All you see is him fall into the pit. From there, who knows what happened. They didn’t address it in ROTJ, but they may pick up the story in Ep. VII. That’s not a ret-con tho because he was never shown to have actually died. It was presumed or assumed to be, but not certain.

  • Nick Brennan

    Has RLM ever seen or heard of Adywan’s Star Wars Revisited? With Plinkett’s reviews in mind I’m curious as to what Jay and Mike would think.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    And then in the DVD release, Lucas will alter it so that it looks like the door attacked Harrison and Harrison attacked the door simultaneously.

  • RRB

    Ha nice! I’ve seen the original man, Greedo shuts the door first! Well Harrison Ford was a carpenter before he was a actor so maybe all that wood is getting its revenge!

  • RRB

    Accidents will happen…IN SPAAACCE! I guess no one is safe!

  • bruce wayne

    No man, sorry but you’re reaching like crazy. “You didn’t ‘actually’ see him dead? For gods sake man, that’s like saying the empower could come back because you never saw him hit the bottom of the shaft. Oh maybe he used his force lightening to cause that energy discharge. Secretly he used the force to stop his fall and escaped in a shuttle. Seriously though, dude. Why would he have waited until after the fight was over and just sit in the sarlacs guts for a few hours before trying to escape? If he were still alive he’d have tried to escape immediately. The Bobba Fet spin off crap is going to be his past, in an attempt to explain what he was up to between AOTC and empire.

  • bruce wayne

    Actually you’re wrong about one thing. Several spin off movies are in the planning stage, they’ve even selected directors in several cases. Bobba Fett is suppose to have his own spin off movie. Personally I think it’s dumb as hell, but they aren’t asking for public opinions. So…

  • So Disney just confirmed they’re releasing the original trilogy unaltered on BluRay.

    I mean yeah, people have been distributing the original movies unaltered for years, but this is still kinda cool.

  • Awful Words

    I may have misread you, but I love getting revenge wood. Rage boners are the best.

  • Awful Words

    Your argument about what constitutes a ret-con is pedantic and irrelevant to the point made by the OP, who was being sarcastic.

  • thievesarmy


  • thievesarmy

    Puh-LEASE. This is supposedly the most badass bounty hunter in the galaxy (at least he WAS before the prequels) and he falls into a pit where death occurs “slowly over the course of thousands of years” and where “victims are kept alive throughout digestion”. Now, as a pseudo-human, I doubt he would stay alive for a thousand years throughout the full digestion, BUT there would certainly be a window of time whereby he (being the resourceful type) either escapes himself or is somehow rescued by a 3rd party. Arguing with this logic is silly – all that time he’s alive during digestion and all hope is just lost? Sorry Fett, you had a nice run – but there’s no point in rescuing you down there. The empire thing is not an accurate comparison because it doesn’t fit within the rules & cannon that was established by the movie itself, although I suppose they COULD figure out a way to make that happen as well if they wanted, but that would be, as you say, a reach. But as far as Fett, you’re wrong.

  • bruce wayne

    “as far as Fett goes you’re wrong…” Nope, no more than you are right just because you say there is a window of time where in which he “could” have escaped. He didn’t, period. You can extrapolate a scenario where that mythical third party could have helped him out but what you are ignoring is that it did NOT happen. And the Emperor comparison is no less valid than your supposition about what went on off screen with Fett.

  • RRB

    …feel the burn of a rage boner!

  • JOnn

    I don’t think they can do that. 20th century fox owns distributing rights for the prequels and the originals. Disney just owns the story rights and characters now.

  • James Calligeros

    +1000 for Archer reference.

  • Anthony D.

    They may have gone too far in a few places.

  • Mark Bisone
  • Now I Get It

    And a half-truth, it turns out.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    This is funny but why did you post this here?

  • Steve

    You may be thinking of the burn of rage gonnorhea.

  • Steve


  • Jesus sucked gay penis

    I do that all the time too, but mostly it ends with me being called a cunt.

  • RRB

    I wasn’t…but I am now…stay out of my mind!

  • darknstormy

    the ideas were there they just fucked the execution

    Have you even seen their garbage?

    RLM just cash in on your haterd for Lucas you ignorant idiots…

  • Its a nice episodes of star wars. Godaddy coupons codes

  • Chase Gale
  • thatdouchewhodontlikeyourplaye

    Here’s a parody edit of Half In The Bag’s review of Star Trek Into
    Darkness made to look like they’re reviewing Star Wars The Force Awakens

    is a re-edit and uploaded today. I felt the older version didn’t
    have enough “Star Wars” connections. Plus I pooped on JJ Abrams in this
    newer version.

  • Anders Hass

    Still using blip for the Plinkett reviews :3

  • joshkalapos

    Visiting the webzone for some pizza rolls

  • Olivia Alexis

    Nice post i like it

  • Whenever I read a defense of the prequels, it seems like they rely heavily on dragging the originals down to the level of I, II, and III rather than arguing that the prequels areexamples of good film-making. People end up shitting on all 6 films that they supposedly love in a desperate attempt to defend their poor standards and taste.

  • Harry, are you fucking kidding me?!

    I just watched most of all of your reviews of Star Wars E01-03 and are you fucking kidding me?!!! Did you seriously overlook the biggest flaw of Star Wars which makes it the biggest waste of time since banging chicks while drunk but with a condom on?!!!

    You Asshole!

    Let me spell it out for you. The biggest fucking problem with Star Wars is the stupid fucking prophecy about bringing balance to The Force.


    Holy shit. Please kill yourself.

    Because an imbalance to The Force on the Good side is fucking Goooood. If the ratio is like 90% Good and 10% Evil (a generous allocation to Evil, I think), why the Fuck would you wanna bring balance to that proportion? Why the Fuck do you want it to be 50% Good to 50% Evil? Are you retreaded?

    Or are you Barrack Husein Obrama or something?

    An imbalance of the Force to Good is fucking sweet, you meatslapper!

    As penance for not explicitly pointing this out, please leave me a dead but warm body (with tits) in my basement.

  • Lpwn Wolf

    Haha. I know right? I sat in the movie theater and heard that line and thought to myself… “But bringing balance to the force would mean that the Dark Side would become stronger since the good Jedi pretty much control everything! Why would you want to do that?!”

    Good *is* dumb.

  • Dave Hofmann

    Hey Mr Plinkett, good sir, will you be doing a review of Stars wars episode 7? I’m trying to convince my friends of the long list of reasonsome it was not a great movie, merely OK, but you have a way with words I don’t possess. Whether you think it’s amazing or not I’d love to hear your thoughts.

  • Alfonso

    Great Information thank you .

  • TUD

    I’m here for the pizza roll.

  • RLM had a Plinkett teaser about an upcoming Episode 7 review. They probably need the DVD release in order to do a proper review. I look forward to it.

  • Caspian Thunderdoone

    What happened to the Episode III review?

  • Catherine Dassy

    What happened to the Episode VII review?

  • Bola

    Agreed. Evil will always triumph.

  • Allan Jensen

    When is the Forced Awakening review, you murderous fuck?!



  • DeviousLuxray

    Never said which side was unbalanced…Would also like to point out the Jedi got wiped out by just 1.

  • Michael Joseph

    What happened to to the trailer for Episode VII’s review?

  • Whocares

    They probably took it down because Mike and Jay don’t want to do Plinkett reviews. They’re the cliche sad artists who dislike the most popular creation they have. So if you don’t like Half in the Bag, this site is basically useless.

  • President Lincoln


  • Clive Blanston

    It’s hard to say. “Plinkett Awakens” looked like Mr. Plinkett might return, but Plinkett reviews are almost certainly more work intensive.

    The Plinkett reviews are well-written essays with comedy interspersed. By contrast, “Half-in-the-Bag” is just is just shooting the breeze with your buddies about a given movie over a beer. The trouble is, *that* generates almost no Internet buzz/word-of-mouth at all.

    The “Plinkett” reviews, by contrast, were like a college course in constructing a screenplay. Whether you agree with Mike or not, there’s no doubting there’s a real brain behind the insights of the Mr. Plinkett reviews that are not so apparent when it’s just Mike and Jay goofing like Siskel and Ebert in a low rent environment.

  • ikdks

    Yeah, they could do another Plinkett but with an all female cast, that would make it fresh.

    If they want to do another Plinkett review that’s fine, if they think they can find a new angle. But the idea is a bit dated, everybody’s ripped it off by now. They did it back when Catfish was a thing, and when they were trying to popularize the concept of Munchausen syndrome by internet.
    People are a bit more savvy now. The idea of someone pretending to be something they’re not on the internet just doesn’t have the punch it use to have. The world wide web doesn’t have the mystery it use to have, now its just a toaster.
    And you aren’t being fair, this site has gone far beyond Plinkett. You didn’t even mention Best of the Worst, which is my personal favorite. And if you want something with a bit more substance, ReView is turning out pretty good.

  • ikdks

    Every time I watch Casablanca or Citizen Kane I notice something I never did before. They’re deep, and they hit you in different ways at different stages of your life. The prequels are the same, but in a bad way.

    I was just watching Phantom Menace. There’s a scene where Jin and Obiwan get one of those glitchy rotoscope messages from the old guy on Naboo. He says something like, millions of our people are dying you must come quickly, and Jin without any evidence whatsoever declares it a trap. He’s just like yeah, whatever, it’s probably bullshit.

    Then, like a normal person with a soul, Obiwan’s says, yeah, but what if it isn’t. And Jin says, either we haven’t much time.

    Either way? Either way! He just yadda yaddaed genocide!

    Yeah either millions are being put to death in concentration camps, or they aren’t either way we better hurry. So I’m going to get the tickets for the pod race, then get some dinner. I’ve herd good things about the local power converters so I may get a couple. Then tomorrow if this prepubescent kid can win the Indy 500, well mosey back to Corisant and maybe nip this crime against humanity in the bud.

    And earlier they try to take Pandabear to camp 9 to get processed, so it’s probably real. That sounds like the rectangular chain link fenced area where they sort your cloths and pull out your gold fillings.

    But Jin says its probably nothing. He’s the first Naboobian holocaust denier. The Jedi Mel Gibson.

  • I like the Star Wars movie series the most!!
    It has the real fight and action scenes.
    I am amazed to see the technology they use in their weapons and those editing efects are awesome

  • Aaron Baugher

    It’s because in the goofy New Age philosophy which was big in the 1970s and clearly influenced Lucas’s idea of the Force, Good and Evil aren’t the traditional concepts of those words. Instead, they’re two sides of the same divine whatsit, light and dark, order and chaos. If Good ever defeated Evil completely, then it would turn inside-out and become it’s opposite, or something like that. So Good needs Evil to balance it, so it has a reason to go on being Good.

    And in 14-year-old boy philosophy, if Good ever won completely, it would make you eat your peas and go to bed early, and it would defintely get rid of porn, and who wants that? Gotta have some Evil to balance that out.

  • I love your reviews…. really enjoy them a lot.

  • knobsack

    I thought that Nadine, the girl in the basement, was a way of showing how to create an evil villain that you care about – a tortured soul. Like Anakin was supposed to be. The point of the prequels was supposed to be about Luke’s father and Obi Wan’s friend. We were supposed to care for him and be conflicted when he turns to evil but all we got was a whiney little bitch that no one cares about who turns in to the worst Darth Vader scene in Star Wars history. Nadine on the other hand is a terrified victim of a crazy person who is tortured and abused. She has to become evil to overthrow her capture and is left twisted and evil. You want her to escape. You want her to have her revenge. And that is how you create a an evil villain whom you care about.

  • your reviews are very accurate , you have very much knowledge about the movies and filmography .. thanks for the reviews , they are top class

  • Kevin McCormick

    Please, please, please do a 9 part review of Last Jedi, the worst SW ever made.

  • Adrijana Radosevic

    I.. always thought that motivations they gave to Anakin in the prequels were way too personal. Kind of, to me, the “I lose my cocksucker = I go to support an evil empire” never had any deep logic. Or any logic at all. I mean, I don’t really understand love and all that shit, but it kind of just seemed stupid an awesome planet destroying villain like Darth Vader would be crrated because he ended up having a dry dick.

    I wish they took a more reasonable, and also a more logical route, where the Republic is proven inept and stupid (whoch they showed anyway). they could have had a civil war inside the Republic or maybe a war against the mobsters where quai gon and anakin and obie one could’ve built a strong bond of frienship. atathen the same time they could have had palpatine and maybe tarkin rise and propose their own ways of handling shit. then the Republic and Padme could have done some political shit and got them into trouble and quai gon could have gotten killed as a result of their error. and he tells Padme “forget it, no more dick for you, fuck you and your brats, I am joining these Empire people who are capable and know how to handle shit” and he does and it all just gets out of hand. then they could have had the empire take over and anakin try to destroy padme and his brats because she becomes the head of the at the time rebellion, and he’s had it with the stupid republicans. long live the empire! fuck you!!! and then anakin corners them but obi wan shows up and fucks him up to the lava pit.

    see that way it would make SENSE vader would then stay with the emperor, keep supporting the empire AND be all in to destroy Luke. the way they made it in the prequels just makes no sense: if his fall was all about saving his cocksucker, her death should have psychologically destroyed him, not turned him into the most bad ass warrior the empire has to offer.

  • Adrijana Radosevic

    I… never quite understood why “dark side” is supposed to be the “evil side”, tho? I mean it’s basically about using your anger to power your attacks which, if controlled, can be quite awesome.

    I think THAT is the biggest flaw of these movies: it never really shows us why “evil” is actually evil? I mean, the good guys also kill a shitload of people, hell: they killed a whole Death Star of people who I doubt were all evil and horrible; most were probably doing their jobs.. hey dickwads, why are the dark side and the empire evil??? wanna explain???

  • Lamashtar

    His political sympathies were with Palpatine; he thought the Republic’s weakness caused warlords to arise–which it did.

    He murdered to save Padme, failed and then was too overcome with guilt to try to leave Palpatine. He was angry about feeling guilty and subconsciously feeling like the Jedi should have saved Padme so he lashed out at them. If he could destroy all the Jedi as Darth Vader, then there would be no one to remember his guilt and shame. Surely, an order so weak as to allow the excesses of the Republic and too fearful to learn the powers that could have saved Padme did not deserve to exist anyhow.

  • Adrijana Radosevic

    a) sure. that’s in the movuie for like… 1.2 minutes…
    b) my friend who’s a veterinarian has all powers required to save bitches with problem pregnancies. Surely, an asshole so fucking stupid to NOT take his whore to a doctor is NOT what we later see as great Darth Vader?

    No, I am joking, but this plotline is so deeply stupid, not throught through and redicilous it borders on completely hilarious. In a world where 5 year olds have the cognitive capacity to build functional droids I’m expected to believe a simple medical procedure (like a cesarian? or an abortion?) is so out of reach of their technology that a man loses his faith in a Republic and a magical order of space wizards because if it? That he falls for lies of an evil wizard without even going to an ob gyn, if not ob 1?

    I’m sorry, if this was the world of the Lord of the Rings or Conan the Barbarian I might consider it, but in an SF world where interstellar travel and light speed travel have been mastered, this storyline is SO incredibly stupid, it cannot be put to words. Please stop defending it.


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