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Star Wars is Dead Wars today. movies, games, comics.. just sux.
More like Star BORES
Very true. Ten years ago I made a movie for high school, meant as entertainment, where we talked about the fact of life and growing up, one of the lines where: “When I was younger, I was fascinated by the Star Wars movies, but now they are just dead to me … “
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i fuckin like starwars
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George Lucas is very arrogant or very stupid, to not thinking “i need a good director and screenwriter” after 20 years out the movie industry as a director and screenwriter, basicaly he become a corporate man.
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My wife has forbidden any more imitations of Plinkett in her presence.
So she doesn’t end up in 6 garbage bags.
The Original Trilogy will always be the fucking best Trilogy of all time, along with The Toy Story Trilogy, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and of course The Dark Knight Trilogy.
The prequels failed “magnificently”. They were total disappointments that failed to live up to the insane hype, aside from Episode III, but that’s it. The Original Star Wars movies are masterpieces that will be around as long as humans roam the Earth.
And one other thing:
The Special Editions won’t be the only copies remaining, not when there are fans who preserve their memories of the movies and re-edit them without any of the
CGI rubbish. As long as piracy is around, the original movies will be around.
What are you talking about, Dark knight rises was a fucking sloppy mess, come on, an atomic bomb? Catwoman and Batman as a couple? What point did Catwoman serve other than betraying Batman and getting him in “jail”. Which he could only escape with a leap of faith … And Episode III failed just as hard as any movie by George Lucas except his first four ones … I do however share you opinion on piracy actually helping out for once. Thank god for pirates, even the fact that we think that i fucking absurd …
I’m so very, very glad to see someone calling out the Batman trilogy for the crap that it is.
Someone likes it? Okay, fine. It’s entertaining? Yeah, sure. But good film? No. No, no, no.
You can’t wrap the whole Dark Knight trilogy into being terrible just because the last one was a pile of crap. While I don’t think they need to spend a whole move to turn him into Batman, the movie severed a purpose and was decent if not a little disappointing for the comic book fans. The Dark Knight however was amazing. I don’t think I will ever be a Christian Bale fan, the rest of the movie blew me away.
It definitely severed a purpose….
what fresh hell is this? i only wanted to watch the review of phantom for the 9th time and link it to a friend but… dafuc, RLM?
Do you care to actually explain what the hell you’re talking about?
I can’t get into Episode II or III
Why won’t you allow my posts guys?
Anyone else notice how the new “Angry Bird: Star Wars” is based on the original Trilogy and not the new Star Wars movies. Now I don’t give a crap about that fucking mainstream turd of a “phone game”. But it just goes to prove that nobody want to acknowledge the new movies.
I for one was pretty ashamed to find out that one of my childhood heroes (Yes it was George) went from being a young rebel, making a social comments with THX1183 and then later turing into his own version of the emperor and fighting with his fans (Making weird changes to masterpiece, “Han shot first”, destroying Lucasarts, making horrible movies, etc.). I guess I’m just disappointed that “heroes” (using the term losly, as there are no more heroes in the world, only guys in suits) can be corrupted and to find out that art, emotions and story don’t mean a thing in the land of money … I guess, I put to much faith in George.
Clearly you are a naive young man, based on your comment on getting laid and making dollars as being the most important thing. I would say you are a poor teenage virgin, and have no concept or understanding of love, emotions, art, storytelling, etc. Look forward to your late twenties when you suddenly realize that money can’t make you happy, that there is no mystery to life, only years after years of boring work and that we all are going to die alone.
I hope George Lucas becomes paralyzed during a home invasion on Christmas eve. He is an ostentatious, irrelevant charlatan. I want this to happen more than my other ‘dream come true scenario’, in which M. Night Shyamalan is detained and sent to Guantanamo Bay – where he receives a random, wayward bullet from an unrelated fence line shooting between a Marine and his mirror.
What a twist!
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I’d love for you to review the original trilogy. These reviews are great except they depend entirely on the original trilogy, and you implicitly critique them in these reviews so to get a similarly assiduous dissection of your original argument would be exhilarating.
I’ve always felt a bit of a biased attitude towards the two trilogies, so I would personally love a review of the original trilogy just to see if they get as equally judged. I can’t be sure if the almost downright hatred for the prequels was a joke at times or sincere, but these reviews are worth a few viewings all the same
The more you like the original series the less you like the prequels period. The more you like the prequels the more your opinion just doesn’t matter.
That’s an extremely elitist and narrow minded way to look at it. I like all 6, regardless of what some one online feels should be correct.
See you in 2015, Mr. Plinkett
I can’t wait for the episode 7, 8, and 9 reviews!
Disney bought Star Wars! Wow… You know, I thought that might be bad, but then I sat back and thought about it. As a star wars fan, when I want to watch a movie that “tickles my star wars bone” but I’m tired of re-watching the originals, I turn to two movies nowadays; Chronicles of Riddick, and (I know, weird, but) John Carter of Mars. If the people who made John Carter of Mars are making the new Star Wars films, I am actually pretty hopeful.
That’s some pretty awesome sarcasm right there.
Watching all three of these reviews after hearing the Disney news was incredibly healing. I am full of excitement and hope for this franchise again for the first time since 1997. Thank you so much for making these.
…also, I learned a lot about how to appreciate good film and articulate what feels bad about bad film, thanks for that too.
Hey guys, the Disney sequel trilogy will certainly be as good as the originals…right guys? Right?!
New Disney Star Wars films = New reviews! Get ready to hate Lucas like you never have before!
Disney.Star Wars.Plinkett. Can’t wait.
Please make a video about the recent disney buying of lucasfilm and more important episodes 7 8 and 9
“Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic”…. “With something as trivial as this tax dispute” Nuff said
Yeah, to a point when its not the same product. Like, Boba Fett is now a Maori dude, the Jedi being guardians of peace and justice for a thousand years instead of generations. Having Han move his head out of the way of Greedo’s blaster shot in the bluray or covering R2D2 with more rocks than before. Having Vader say NOOOOOOO to everything. And midichlorians? The force used to be mysterious and now its quantified. What have you done…moneyman?
Added depth to the already fabulous lore he had created. Of course, changing Boba Fetts voice for NO GOD DAMN REASON in Empire really pisses me off. Boba’s insane voice was a huge winning point for the Empire for me, then he changed it to the Jango actor? Fuck, that wasn’t even necessary.
Leave a message…i woul like to see an half in the bag episode on what mike & jay think about Lucusfilm L.T.D bieng bought by disney.
I wonder if we’ll get an update from the Red Letter guys about Disney’s purchase of Lucas Films.
Would you consider doing Mass Effect 3 (or all 3 of the games) for the next Video Game review?
I’ve never looked into it, but I’d like to know why there are no reviews for episode 4-6. I’d like to see them critiqued alongside their unpopular brethren.
Because the only thing you can really say about them is that they’re really goofy and cheesy, and possibly that there are a couple plot holes.
Really, while there’s plenty to make fun of in regards to the classic series, there’s not a whole lot to critique unless you dig down really hard.
Basically, it wouldn’t be nearly as funny.
I disagree, I think he could definitely rip into these and make it as equally amusing. Well, maybe not EQUALLY amusing (these are pretty damn hysterical), but still funny.
The point is the overall feel of the movies. The original trilogy inspired a whole new generation of fans and movie-making. The last trilogy cannot say the same. Of course you could find errors, you could find something wrong in any movie.
The new trilogy NEEDED to be ripped apart by an attack dog because no one dared question Lucas. I wouldn’t call redletter’s analysis as professional and neither would they, but it sure made sense to a confused fan like me. Redletter did equally well with the NextGen movies. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s wrong with an entry into a strong franchise we love so much. Redletter helps with some perspective. You be the judge in the end.
But I feel that the original trilogy inspired the entire generation because of the time it was made. If it was made in 1999 it would be in the exact (or close to) sam situation the new ones are now.
(Well actually no, they’d be basic, fun, action space operas that no one would rave or bitch about).
That’s not true, but you and everyone else thinking that is why we got the prequels instead of the Han Solo trilogy. Nearly everything from the 90s suffered from “kids these days” syndrome where everything was made super lame to appeal to the “fact” that “kids these days” won’t accept anything more than as many lightsabers, robots, and cartoon rabbits we can shove in. “Kids these days” all got ADHD and can’t pay attention to things unless theyre on ritalin so we’ll FILL THE FRAME…that won’t do the opposite of what we set out to accomplish. And ritalkids always were spacey and distant so nobody cared about being their friend while they were paying attention to everything. I dunno maybe a generation and a half of “the adults in charge” complaining about this crap as finally made it true that gen z is as programmable and mindless and require handholding as they’ve been saying it is since the big issue was gen x.
How bout those who don’t want kids to be annoying gooey twerps who like Jar Jar Binks, they don’t market Jar Jar Binks to like anyone potty trained.
Speaking of potty training: It is unacceptable to send your kid to school not housebroken. You don’t get big boy panties until you can keep pullups clean. This has nothing to do with anything other than as a general PSA and on the subject of “generations”. Seriously your unwillingness to keep your child from pissing and shitting themself past the reasonable age should never be inflicted on others. That’s why we have pullups. Wearing a pullup does not damage self image nearly as much as no one wanting to come within 20 yards of you lest you go all Nat Nerd on their ass. I got to the point where I didn’t want to go to school because I dreamed of swimming in an ocean of piss. And it really seemed like only a handful or so of us could use a toilet like a normal person and not our drawers. I’m bitter about it 20 years later and won’t add the kids who did it on Facebook but I also have problems with people I went to first grade with needing to be my friend on Facebook.
Also on generations: GENERATIONS SUCKED
I think you need to see a psychiatrist. You have a lot of repressed anger from your childhood.
Or he’s trying to be like Plinkett, it’s really hard to tell.
Because they’re pretty good movies. Except maybe Return of the Jedi, which isn’t bad.
Honestly, while I love these reviews, the majority of the points made were just as present in the original trilogy. The examples are really pick and choose to say, as in they give a slanted point of view. I’d give the original superiority simply for the fact that it was actually filmed better (i.e. sets vs CG) more than anything. When it comes down to most other points in these 3? Eh, not so much.
What I’m saying is that if those films were reviewed with the exact same attitude then the reviews would be just about as bad. It’s possible he won’t do it because he KNOWS he’s looking at them through rose tinted glasses and that an unbiased review wouldn’t be possible, but I feel these rough reviews of prequels only add that the biased and trendy idea of “prequels?! LOL THEY SUCK I LIKE HANZ ZOLO MORE”, when most people in my experience have barely seen either.
What are these points?
You really expect me to go through all 3 of the over an hour long videos and point out every single thing I found to be too biased/incorrect? Or do you mean the points that are accurate in the original and prequel trilogies?
Give me examples of points that:
1. are actual reasoned criticisms (for instance, editing issues) rather than just comedic nitpicking (for instance, PART-TIME)
2. apply to both the prequels and the originals.
I’ve got one, but it applies only to the re-edits, not the original cuts: Lucas and his never ending need to fill every frame with so much stuff happening that your eye doesn’t know where to focus (exemplified in the prequel re-edits by replacing most of the wall panels in Cloud City with windows to show ships constantly moving outside)
“Return of the Jedi” had the elements which, after festering for nearly two-decades, became what the original trilogy turned out to be:
- Yoda and Obi Wan turning from wise sages to blithering idiots.
- The ham-handed dialogue between Luke & Leia and Leia & Han,
and the completely awkward inability to relate to or convey anything
- The destruction of Han Solo as a rouge and Leia as an independent
badass… Turning both into simpering, love-sick puppies.
- The philosophy which painted the Jedi into an emotional corner where
they couldn’t be passionate, complex, or even very interesting.
- The belief ‘if one is good, a thousand must be better’ use of special
- The reduction of every conflict into a cartoonish, slap-stick farce.
Also, by the time they were making RotJ, Star Wars was already a pop culture phenomenon. It had become self-aware, and was beginning to cannibalize itself creatively.
- The opening shot of RotJ mimics the opening shot of Ep. 4.
- The early scene with the driods in the desert mimics the first act of Ep. 4. That one gets a pass, because of course they had to go get Han from Jabba on Tattooine.
- The Act 3 climax ups the ante from the first 2 movies, because this time there’s gotta be more, and it’s gotta be faster, and it’s gotta be overblown.
- We built another Death Star because we didn’t know what else to do!
When a movie cannibalizes its own creativity, it takes me out of the moment. I feel like I’m being blatantly marketed to. I also start to question the genuine creativity of the “creative team.”
On a related note, JJ’s last two space-action films seemed shamelessly self-aware.
Whatever. Everything’s a product. Creativity’s only important if it’s exploitable. Cannibalism works because at least then people know what they’re being fed…
ROTJ is entirely redeemed by Ewoks dying for the rebel cause and by Vader’s death and redemption. Modern movies would never show cuddly little creatures getting killed by the villains, and Luke cradling his dying father is probably the most emotional moment in the whole series.
I get what you’re saying about how modern standards can be overly-sensitive about what is shown compared to a few decades ago. And don’t get me wrong – I love watching Ewoks die; that’s good stuff. But for me, what would’ve really been great is if there hadn’t been any Ewoks to begin with.
Plinkett made an audio commentary for A New Hope. You can play it off this site while you have the film on. He spends a lot of it telling the audience how well it was made and put together, but does genuinely tear into the film’s failings from time to time, you might want to give that a listen.
I just might, thanks! Look at that, a reasonable comment without being incredibly biased or acting like a total dick, you’re the first one here.
I’m very much looking forward to the inevitable Plinkett audio commentary for Empire and Jedi. Every day I anxiously check the site for them, and for Space Cop!
I completely agree with every single word you wrote on this site a year ago. I’m really craving some original star wars reviews.
The old Star Wars(what is this “SW” you speak of) were fairly simplistic and cheesy, but they weren’t nearly as idiotic as the prequels. I should know, I didn’t grow up with them, and yet vastly prefer them over the prequels. I was actually young when I saw the Phantom Menace, and yet I have no nostalgia for it.
A person with a passion for film making would go through it, that’s who. And yeah, he is a sellout, he gave up his artistic integrity to make something that he knew would make money rather than make something good. No, if you take the effects out of the original story it wouldn’t be crap, it would just look really silly. No-one is saying that it was wrong of him to use special effects in more recent movies. We’re saying it’s wrong that 90% OF THE MOVIE IS CGI.
In conclusion, the old Star Wars movies were cheesy but had feeling, charm, and tension. The new Star Wars movies are emotionless cash-ins that have some cool visuals and nice looking fight scenes that in the end do nothing remarkable at all. I can remember a lot about the old ones, but I recall just kinda zoning out during the new ones until something flashy happened.
Look at that as part of the joke.
“Again, it’s like poetry, so that they rhyme, every stanza rhymes with the next one.” George Lucas you fuck! Go back to teaching poetry for 3rd graders at the community center and stop wasting my time!
What did Obi-Wan tell Owen and Beru when he called to say he was dropping off Anakin’s orphan son? They didn’t say anything or ask any questions when he came by. They just took the baby. At that point, Obi-Wan thought that Anakin was dying or dead. None of them knew that he had become Frankenstein’s monster. Did Owen and Beru ever figure out that Anakin was Darth Vader? Were they ever even aware of Darth Vader at all? Tattooine is apparently pretty remote, being on the Outer Rim. If Vader ever visited Tattooine, I’m sure he’d stop by and say “hi.” Unless his memories of being Anakin are fuzzy. Maybe his brain was given a once-over when he was put in the suit. Palpatine’s behind it all!
“Hey Owen? Yeah, you don’t know me. My name’s Obi-Wan…I mean Ben. I meant to say my name is Ben. I’m a friend of your step-brother Anakin. Huh? Yeah, the kid that slaughtered a whole tribe of desert nomads while your family made small-talk with his bland girlfriend. Then he brought back his mom’s husk and burned it in your yard. Uh-huh. That guy.
Well, he and his bland girlfriend – wife – had twins recently, and she died in childbirth. And before she went into labor, Anakin went and murdered a whole bunch of little kids. That’s neither here nor there, really. But then he started talking a bunch of shit to me, and that’s when I was like ‘you better step back in line, son, lest I use the Force to bitch-slap your ass all over this volcano!’ Long story short, I chopped off his legs and left him to burn to death. What’s that? Well, I guess you could construe that as cruel. That’s your opinion.
So anyway, listen: we need you to raise one of Anakin’s orphans. Wait, don’t hang up! Hear me out. Even though I’m partly responsible for them being orphans, I can’t raise them. I’m really not good with kids. They’re just so fucking annoying. The last time I was around a kid, I chopped off his legs and left him to burn to death! Now, I know that working on a moisture farm is tough work, but slavery is legal on Tatooine. Let me give you one of these kids to work his ass off on your farm: repairing vaporators, shoveling Bantha shit, sweeping out your dirt house, whatever you want. What? Yeah, you’re right: it IS a pretty sweet deal when you think about it, heh heh.
So, I’m almost at your house. It’s the one that looks like a dirt pit, right?”
Replace all mentions of “kids” with “younglings”, and you’ve got yourself a bit of dialogue which fits seamlessly into the Episode III script there. Something to add into the next format release, perhaps?
I can’t help but feel little hesitant about the new trilogy (7, 8 & 9).
Will they bring back Boba Fett, retconning him out of his Sarlaac death?
Assuming that Yoda and Obi-Wan and Anakin are still hangin’ around as Force Ghosts, they’ll probably cast Ewan McDonald and Hayden Panettiere, too.
Let’s go ahead and shoehorn in Mace. We can just say he survived his fall, and hid out for several decades. He’d be like a hundred by the time the new trilogy takes place, but Sam has only aged a decade since episode 3. Who cares, it’s just continuity.
Or the easy explanation: clones! Vader and the Emperor are still around because clones! Boba Fett’s back because clones! Now there’s 2 Jar Jars because clones! Han and Leia’s kid is really Anakin’s clone! The stormtroopers are all clones! Krieger’s really Hitler because clones! Clones! Clones!
If I cloned myself and started a band with my clones, we’d still break up over creative differences.
Boba Fett didn’t die in the Sarlaac, that’s already been established in the expanded universe. And I don’t think even Disney would be stupid enough to try bring and back Mace.
“Boba Fett didn’t die in the Sarlaac, that’s already been established in the expanded universe.”
[with fingers in my ears]
I can’t hear you! La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la!
Dude, that stupid “expanded universe” isn’t canonical! If you think that the sequel trilogy will be based on all that post-ROTJ EU crap then you’re in for a big surprise because they’re not going to do something so unoriginal as that for crying out loud. The movies dictate what really happens in the Star Wars universe, not some books and video games that weren’t even authored by Lucas himself. There will not be any Boba Fett, okay? He was a minor, unimportant character who died. End of story. Move on. It’s been stated that the films will take place 30-40 years after the events of the original trilogy. There won’t be a bunch of Sith lords all over the place, Luke will not have some wife named Mara Jade Skywalker, the gang won’t have a bunch of kids and all baring the names of past characters like Han Skywalker or Ben Solo or whatever, and there certainly will not be any Boba Fett!
The Expanded Universe is indeed canonical. There are various
gradations of Star Wars canon that distinguish the movies, books, video
games, and so forth.
Err, I heard that Episode 7 won’t be drawing on the Expanded Universe in favor of a new, original story.
Come on, I can’t be the only one who got the Archer reference.
Haha! “Now there’s 2 Jar Jars because clones” – sounds like a George Lucas idea. (“Jar Jar is the key to all this…”)
My god…I just visited an alternate reality where Harry Plinkett made the prequels and George Lucas reviewed them. He didn’t find much to complain about.
Even then, Polonius said it in Hamlet, which is one of the longest of the Shakespearean tragedies.
I dunno, The Lost World seemed to have done that when they did the Godzilla thing at the end. It was at that point in my then pre pubescent mind that I thought, “This is clearly getting stupid.”
It’s so sad that a Half in the Bag episode is far better than a quote unquote “professional reviewer,” outside of Ebert, of course.
J.J. Abrams will do to Star Wars what he did to Star Trek. References to the old star wars and plenty of action, but they’ll be mass appeal ‘flash and bang’ films rather than anything ‘canonical’ or something that carries the tone and undertones of the original trilogy. Its what he does – anyone ever read his ‘Superman Lives’ Script from 2003?
Lex Luthor can fly, and is really from Krypton too, which wasn’t destroyed. That’s just the start of the travesty. Its on Scribd here -
Oh, and it all takes place in Gotham City not Metropolis because…. er.. whatever.
My fear is after epsiode 7, I’ll be thinking “Come back George all is forgiven, even Jar Jar!” and hyperbolic fanboys in their late 30′s will be running around saying “J.J. Abrams raped my adulthood”.
JJ Abrams is a bad person who hates ice cream, eats puppies, drinks out of the carton, and talks during the movies he destroys.
I can’t wait to see th review for Star Wars Episode 7 : Old people with lightsabers
I am dissapointed. Only one downvote? That comment was lame as fuck.
All of these Star Wars reviews total to be 4 hours 11 minutes.
Never marathoned them until last night. Time well spent!
Dear Mr. Plinkett,
What is going to be your next review? Please let me know in advance, because I don’t like surprises. I am very skittish, and tend to get stabby, so please don’t sneak up behind me.
True, but ever since I started sleeping with my therapist, she’s been forcing me to say and do all sorts of awful shit, like trolling for no reason. I think she just confuses the villains in John Carter with the villains in The Last Airbender. To this day, she can’t watch The Daily Show without yelling at Aasif Mandvi on screen. I keep telling her that John Carter had nothing to do with that, but then she just manipulates me into doing something shady. Like, why would she need my PIN? We don’t have a joint account.
To make everything better i think Disney’s the Lucasfilm should just
remake the prequels to the original trilogy and make new sequels to the
prequels, that way episodes I,II,III wont affect the overall story of
what star wars was but then there would be sequels to the prequels and a
remake of a prequel to a sequel with a new trilogy coming to be made
into more prequels and….ouch…MY FUCKIN BRAIN!!!
That’s because the Expanded Universe is just a bunch of bullshit made up by some idiots.
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