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What about all my witty comments up above? Will they be framed and kept?
you left him at the collector?
these star trek reviews are funny
Hiserection. Oh wow.
Same here. I do remember 1 thing… a silly speech by picard that 1 life is worth a 1000.
Nice selective editing with the Data bit…
Do a pizza roll!
(Z or R twice)!
I see what you did there, Slippy.
These reviews make me want a Star Trek: Next Generation series with the scripts of the series, but the budget of the Star Wars prequels. But apparently you can’t have good scripts and good production value at the same time.
what about Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies or Marvel’s films (except for the Iron Man trilogy and Captain America).
What about them?
Even more shocking when taken in context of the Star Trek timeline as a whole. DS9 was in it’s 6th season at the time so that means while Picard and Co. were screwing around in the Briar Patch millions were dying on the front lines of the Dominion War. Starfleet really would’ve benefited from this planet’s healing properties. If Sisko were on this mission he would’ve taken the planet from the hippie Ba’ku and driven off the Sona.
No, it takes place just after the end of the war. I am pretty sure.
This movie aired in 1998, DS9 ended in 1999. The war was most definitely on, and Riker even mentions in the beginning that the Diplomatic Corps is busy with Dominion negotiations.
Especially since the Son’a deal in Ketracel White and Troi actually asks, “Why are we dealing with these people?”
I just realized Anthony Zerbe (Dougherty) is an abnormally long lived species that was originally called Thomas Mitchell
300 days of shore leave? Isn’t that like a year off? How often does Picard get this, and why does he feel compelled to brag about this to some woman he barely knows? I thought it was obvious to the audience and even grandma that they were just a short term romance and nothing else. What lazy writing…….
The idea is that Picard is a workaholic and never took time off. Remember in the series when Dr. Crusher had to more or less order him to take a vacation? Not hard to believe Picard would build up huge amounts of time off!
Since he’s not getting paid, I imagine Picard can take off whenever he wants.
Every so often I come back and watch this just for the “Where’s Ruafo?” bit with Riker at the end.
what is wrong with those people? are they really that stupid or just butthurt?
There is a decent point buried in there. People who try to do their own Plinkett thing usually leave out the abusive stuff, but they keep the funny editing and voices, and hardly seem worse for it.
I think RLM considers themselves filmmakers before reviewers. With the Star Wars reviews, they mixed a somewhat disturbing horror movie with a humorous review. Obviously this won’t be to all tastes since a large chunk of people who might watch a review on Star Wars won’t want to watch a horror movie and so I don’t begrudge those people their discomfort or irritation. However, the blogger doesn’t get it when he calls the Nadine narrative misogynistic. Akin to calling Schindler’s List racist because a bunch of Jews get killed. That’s the type of person who seeks to be offended and those people are insufferable.
‘misogynistic’ holy fucking shit wow
Insurrection should have topped First Contact. In script and special effects. I personally would have loved to have seen a Deep Space Nine TNG movie crossover. Taking place during one of the final battles of the Dominion War… now that would have been awesome.
I did that with Nemesis. I re watched it recently and thought… Oh yeah…
There is a slight problem when a movie with a budget of $58 million has CGI that looks like a TV series almost half a decade old at that time, though.
I want some fucking pizza rolls email them to me
On the today’s military if a chopper or hummer has to be left behind, and order is given to destroy it, so the enemy do not re-purpose it, but the use plastic explosives or the fuel, is logical to assume that in the future the military install a self destruct option since blowing and entire star ship is a complicated to pull off on a hurry.
That’s true enough. But the military doesn’t have vehicles and equipment permanently rigged with explosives all the time. Worse, with these self-destruct devices it is connected to a computer. Imagine if a nefarious hacker sent a virus and simultaneously blew up all of starfleets ships all at once. Kaboom! The federation is conquered with a single klingon and his BB gun.
Starships have self-destruct mechanisms on them in Star Trek for the reasons you described. Mr Plinkett actually addresses that specifically. The Collector is not a Starship. It doesn’t have weapons, or a crew. It’s a piece of scientific equipment to harvest the radiation for peaceful purposes.
The question stands: Is everything permanently rigged with explosives in this world?
Plinkett you slippery weasel, at 3:55 data takes mike hagerty’s anvil off the guy’s foot, he does not drop it on him! What is this, Star Trek: Special Edition ??
I love how gleeful Picard sounds when he says, “I’m about to commit a direct violation of our orders!” I want do be given orders in a group now just so that I can disobey them and announce it like that.
He has been waiting his whole career to doing something so Kirk like.
This is one of the weaker Plinkett reviews, most likely due to the fact that this is one of the weaker TNG movies. I first watched this movie in 1998, and I’m pretty sure that was the point I started losing interest in Star Trek. The greatest appeal for Star Trek fans was the story and canon, not the silly probability of Capt. Picard and Co. being “space badasses”. Guh.
Thanks for making me remember bad things, RLM.
I was 12 when Insurrection came out and I enjoyed it well enough. All the TNG movies, in a visceral sense at least, were pretty thrilling to see on the big screen. By the time Nemesis came around I knew from the previews alone it would be rubbish. “Giant space battle! Dune buggies! And it’s the last film, better see it!” I never watched it in a theater and waited for the DVD.
Growing up I started to see the many, many flaws in the TNG movies, Voyager, and Enterprise. I long for the days when Trek was considered “smart”…
anyone else get the cellphone commercial randomly flashing farenheight 451? weird
well, they did establish that the Federation was there so they could use the Son’a to harvest the therapeutic healing radiation; doubtless would the Federation need this, especially since they were in the Dominion War.
FUNNY SHIT!!! LOVE THE ENDING!!!
‘Insurrection’ was the first Star Trek film that I purposely avoided seeing in theaters. Before that, I’d seen all of them opening week, going all the way back to The Motion Picture (granted, I was 3 at the time, but it still counts, damn it). No regrets. ‘Nemesis’ was a marginal improvement, but that’s like saying your diarrhea is slightly chunkier. (But at least it didn’t reenact entire scenes from ‘Wrath of Khan’. Blah.)
The distorted Picard “NoOOOooo” makes me lose control of my sides every single time.
Star Trek: His Erection. Heh heh heh…
This is my favourite plinkett review, just because Mike edits the entire symphony of stupidity sequence around one joke based entirely around the timing: “On screen!”
Okay, any TNG episode where they talk about the Cardassians is officially ruined if you imagine them as the Kardashians!
The inverse is true. Celebrity gossip shows are immediately improved by imagining that they’re talking about lizard faced aliens.
which isn’t really untrue in the first placed.
Lol. Have you seen the Maria Bamford radio show interview where she spoke about having had a job opening malls and stuff as a Star Trek character, and no-one wanted to believe her that the Bajorans were an actual thing? And when she mentions their oppressors, the Cardassians, the radio guy goes for the Kardashian joke too. Watch it, Maria Bamford is fucking hilarious.
If I were Geordi, I’d say “Fuck you, Picard, you bald shit! I could’ve gotten my sight back if you just let Starfleet get the fountain of youth stuff. But, noooooooo, you had to start all this shit just so you could impress that 300 year-old, ugly bitch! Fuck you, Picard. You too, Rick Berman!”
Also, WHAT IS THE MUSIC THAT IS PLAYED AT THE BEGINNING OF EVERY REVIEW? I gotta know!
Browns and beige!!!
This might be Plinkett’s masterpiece.
TV show pickard – we’ll call him Larry… ROOOOOFLLL so good
I guess Picard has a magical bag of holding to carry that much ordinance for him to use.
Stupid B’aku. Their pacifism really got on my nerves when the flying robots are shooting at them.
Yay! I just understood what Pizza rolls are for!
It’s possible that the B’aku have some kind of herbal tea or ointment that functions as a contraceptive. I guess they feel like that if they have too many children, it would put a strain on the area’s resources and eventually end up with unusable farmland.
Nope, them using contraceptives is still stupid, but what can we expect of a people that has gotten so used to living on this planet that they can’t ever leave it?
Another thing that always really bugged me; how exactly did the Ba’ku, the non-violent, non-technology using pacifists that they are, forcibly eject and exile the Son’a from this planet? Ignoring the obvious fact that the Son’a could easily wipe the floor with the Ba’ku, let’s remember that these people number in the hundreds and are completely isolated to one small villaget. What exactly kept these apparently space-worthy Son’a (I’m assuming they had ships. How else would they leave?) from settling on another continent on the other side of the planet with the Ba’ku none the wiser?
Well, the Son’a did want to leave to explore the galaxy, so they wanted to be exiled…
Ugh, so much about this movie makes no sense, even with the mind of a 12 year old.
Maybe a lot of the Baku shoot blanks. Some may be homosexual (all of them are pretty gay after all). It would be great if erectile dysfunction still kicked in at the late 50′s/60′s (if you’re lucky), and they spent the rest of their hundreds of years frustrated and impotent.
Afterall, Lady Baku is straight on to Picard like his cum tastes of chocolate, she might not have had a roll in the meadow in a Millenia.
Maybe the Baku have low fertility rates. It’s the same crappy explanation that always gets attached to elves of why there isn’t overpopulation.
Or maybe there is a massive graveyard with tiny coffins.
VI wasn’t very Star Wars. It uses action when appropriate and keeps focus on its allegories.
And say what you will of Star Trek IV, but you’ll never see a Star Wars movie like that.
The dock on the lake floats.
So it’s not attached to the land?
Small world it would seem. Aren’t you a regular on Gamespot too?
Indeed. You might also see me on the Escapist, Gamefaqs, Yahoo Sports, and porn sites!
lol oh yeah, now I remember you!
You were the one commenting about the ***** up the donkey with a huge ****** round ******** then ****** with the pigs, hanging a **** on ******* ****** candlestick!
You are a legend.
Well hello again.
“It’s got cheap Styrofoam sets, lame production values, and a budget smaller than an episode of ‘Alf’.” Ahh, just like the Original Series.
With none of the charm.
Yeah, that’s why they did it.
I think they just told them “No MP3 players and no smartphones” or something. Cause of their dumb Amish philosophy.
Gah, the more I think about the B’aku, the more I think they were the total assholes in this movie, not the S’ona.
Well, look at it this way. The Ba’ku use their position of strength to force the Son’a into exile, thus preserving their own way of life, completely free of technology… while condemning the Son’a to die a slow death.
The Son’a use THEIR position of strength to forcefully relocate the Ba’ku, thus preserving the existence of their entire race… while providing life-saving radiation for billions of people.
Dude…about #5: Data was SHOT. He wasn’t affected by the “planetary radiation.” Your argument is invalid.
#5 is about the convenience of the cast showing up in proper regalia to continue the plot as if they had read the script. What the fuck are you talking about?
I’ve seen every Star Trek movie, from The Voyage Home until JJ Abram’s first NuTrek movie in 2009, in its first run in the theater. The last Star Trek scene I clearly remember seeing in an actual movie theater is Scotty saying, “Admiral! There be WHALES here!”. That was 26 goddamn years ago and I was 10 years old. Enough said.
Pizza Rolls solve all problems! Except obesity…
I don’t remember Germany doing anything to Israel.
I can mashed potato, I can do the twist.
Its Hollywood (or whatever). White guilt and lefty preaching is ineviteble, what do you execpt. Social message my ass!
The first sentence you said is agreeable. No man should be bound by the sins of his father. Then your PCP kicked in and you fucking lost me.
I never heard of pizza rolls before watching Mr. Plinkett’s reviews, they sound great.
Please can you send my pizza rolls, over to me in Scotland?
That would be splendid.
How the hell does Ruaffo get away with killing the admiral. Wouldn’t Starfleet wonder where he went.
The docks were floating ON the water and were made of a special baku-space-wood which doesn’t get dirty, they walked up on the cloaked stairs into ship and when they uncloaked the ship it automatically retracted the bridge. meanwhile the water of the lake was still draining, that’s why she falls in the water from about 3 meters. Also the radiation on the planet would have interfered with their technical observation equipment so it was clearly necessary to locate their cloaked base so close to the town. It’s all explained in the books obviously, sheesh you guys don’t know anything. Hack frauds!
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