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Plinkett you lazy asshole stop wasting your time and money on cocaine and mildly unattractive prostitutes and make another goddamn review
Plinkett you lazy asshole stop wasting your time and money on cocaine and mildly unattractive prostitutes and JOIN THE SALVATION ARMY
THE TERMINATOR SALVATION ARMY
To this webzone’s sponsors:
Tell Mr. Plinkett to get off his senile ass and review either Prometheus or Terminator 3… and fire those other two bumfuckers as I only visit this webzone to watch Plinkett’s videos or check if he’s made anything new.
went watched promethius,.. i can forgive (some) plot holes
like the geologist getting lost,..
like the guy not alerting medical and getting him self checked out when he found fish swimming in his eye,..
the fact that the android can read everythig perfectly and knows how to unlock all the doors
infact i can forgive all the plotholes in the first half almost (why dident we see the captin sleep with the realy hot one i dont even know her name i was to buisy stairing at that cat suit)
but when the realy hot one then decided to whip out the flamethrower for NO REASON,… this is what quarintine is for yet wait he is sick?? flamethrower time. maybe he just had flu or scabies. but no flamethrower and i think i can say at this point is where suddenly all the tension that was built up just goes and it becomes a truly terrble film. anti climactic i mean hell ok everyone who wants to die??? arms up guys yaay it seems like they were in a rush just to kill people only 1 was allowed to survive? it realy did have so many chances to be good yet it it was just lame and dissapointing
I thought the flame-thrower reaction a bit extreme as well. What if he just had a flu? She didn’t ask. How did she know? My brain hurts thinking about this film. I liked the robot. Oh, yeah, and come on: robot named Dave who talks like HAL, old guy in white robe who looks like Dave Bowman, aliens left trail of crumbs for us to follow them to space? Or not? And that constellation in the cave-painting was a planetary system light-years away? Please stop the pain, Plinkett! It’s your job, right?
I don’t know, I think disallowing the guy with the space virus from getting on the ship made more sense than anything else in the film did. Hell, I’d probably light his ass up too. He was fucked.
That’s not nearly as bad as the heart monitors. You’re telling me nobody noticed 2 of the heart monitors were inactive after geologist and biologist died? Nobody noticed that and like replayed the recording of them getting murdered by the alien snake thing? “Hrm, 2 of our guys aren’t responding and their heart monitors are no longer working. Their cameras show them just kind of laying there kind of like they’re dead. Lets send the rest of the crew in to check it out, and lets just not tell them about it. They’ll be fine.”
What’s going on in this movie? What’s this all about?
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ur revows r gud
Hurray up Plinkett stoopid jerk! Wares my free entertainment!
I want a pizza roll. Gimmee a pizza roll already.
Watch Half in the Bag. It’ll hold you over.
I personally tried watching Half in the Bag, watched 4-5 episodes. I personally found them boring and unfunny. For discussions of recent movies i find stuff like TGWTGs “Bum Reviews”, Brad Jones’ “Midnight Showings” or even Film Brains “Projector” far more enjoyable, but hey personal taste i guess.
So i can’t speak for anyone but myself, but i sure as hell come here periodically JUST to look if there are new Plinket Reviews, or the occasional Skit like George Lucas stuff. For me RedLetterMedia is Plinkett + Filler/Padding to make the Site not look abandoned.
If you find ANYTHING on That Guy With the Glasses enjoyable, then you’re definitely on the wrong website here.
Listen bro, at least most people on TGWTG bother to put scenes from the movies in their reviews which shows that they put effort in it and try to be funny about them.
Nostalgia Critic may go over the top a couple of times but at least he did a lot of reviews. Although i understand the serious note about Half in the Bag, the Plinkett humor in it is sub par, and the reviews though OK feel dull and boring because we cannot make any connections to the movies for the lack of clips to actually present the points.
Not all reviews should be in that much detail as Plinkett, but at least go the extra mile and try making some funny comments and show us some scenes from the movies to prove your points. Watching two guys talk for 20 minutes is boring.
Fill up the site with Plinkett reviews and you’ll be the greatest hero since Han Solo…
Sure thing, bro. Siskel and Ebert sucked too because they, like, discussed the films instead of relying on cheap gags and cutting to clips from the movies. Red Letter Media could sure learn a thing or two from Nostalgia Critic. His schtick is still fresh after doing the exact same thing every week for five years!
This site should pander to its audience by filling it up with Plinkett reviews. There’s no way that won’t get stale and repetitive!
Not their fault you can’t comprehend discussion.
What are you basing that statistic on? I’m willing to bet that they know their figures more accurately than you do.
I have now watched all the half in the bag waiting for more reviews. Do somethhiiiiing. Also “whats wrong with your face” has spread from a one time joke, to a household phrase, to something I hear people I have never met saying.
I would give up all the pizza rolls in the world for a review of Prometheus by Plinkett. That movie is right in his wheel house (sci-fi movies that could have been fun and exciting but ended up being big piles of shit)
right in his wheel-house? who the fuck talks like that?
also, that’s precisely why he should NOT review prometheus. you already have expectations of what he should say or do in his review.
I think they released the teasers way too early.
Should have put them out like 1 month or less before releasing the Plinkett reviews.
I wonder and am starting to doubt if we will ever get any more Plinkett reviews at all at this point.
I understand that it may be quite a process to put them together, but don’t make us wait so long between the teaser and the review.
I like you.
I get that this is free content, and you can and should release more whenever you damn well please, but I’m sort of with the guy below. If you said “hey you ungrateful assholes, we’ll release another plinkett in 6-8 months, keep your pants on”, then everyone (well, some) would just say, “not a problem my good chum, I do so enjoy your humorous commentaries”.
But the teaser was released in, what, like late June? Then there was the “calm the fuck down” addendum in August or July, but that’s still a mighty ways out for a teaser. Maybe tease it a month to a month and a half in advance?
Yes, exactly this. At the very least, can we please have a “Sorry, it’s taken a bit longer than we thought. We’ll have the next review up in X # of weeks/months.”?
for fuck sake – maybe they wanted do make a review, made a teaser during the process and then decided that the review was below average of plinkett reviews and decided to just dump it?
They dont have the new review locked in tha basement just to piss you off by not releasing it you asshole. (Or at least I dont think they do – guys have a strange sense of humor).
anyway while Id like to see new plinkett review too I prefer to see one in 5 years and being great than seeing shitty one every 5 months.
I don’t see what part of my post makes you think I’m pissed off. They have a Twitter account, how hard would it be to post something about the next Plinkett review?
maybe they want it to be a suprise?
maybe they have no idea when next plinkett will be out ?
or maybe (just maybe) they have some idea but still theres a possibility that their normal day jobs (I would bet they dont live off this website) and personal lives can always push that day further in the future and if they would post (or twitt or whatever kids do nowdays) when they want to make the next review and than had to say ‘we have nothing this week wait a little longer’ like 1000001 people would whine
and whine some more
that theyre ENTITLED to this FREE CONTENT that those guys do in their free time
that those guys are assholes because they dont want to take care of all their needs RIGHT NOW
and that its their JOB to tell them when the reviews will be out – the day and the hour- and kiss them on the ass for watching them and than complaining that they were ok but they didnt like this and that or whatever
I feel like an old man saying this but: WAIT kids WAIT and than, if whatever you want right-now-now-right-now-me-want-now doesnt happen, take a few ADHD pills and WAIT some more.
Seriusly those guys take their free time to create fun movies and reviews and about half of responses I see is whining about something – must suck for the authors.
Next plinkett will be out when it will be out.
Im betting theyd be happy to realease it soon too but for some reason they dont so all we need to do is wait and calm the fuck down.
Also: Get of my fucking lawn with your goddamn skateboards!
Yeah, ok, but all I meant by seconding that other guy’s opinion was that they would have a lot fewer people posting bitchy comments wanting to know where the review is if they gave periodic updates. It’s what I would do in their position. I notice they mentioned in a post that it’s being edited, which is all I ever expected.
Yeah I know what you mean but this only works when they really KNOW when the review is out.
If theres a possibility they can be interripter by something – work, wife, children (also known as younglings) or whatever – all that giving information will get them is whining when they move the deadline further in the future.
My point was: if they knew when the review will be out they would tell it. They didnt for a reason.
Doesnt matter now since they posted that the next one is in editing
Beautiful post. Ha ha. You know, I think the fans should get together and help these guys put together one of those project-funding-on-the-internet sites for RLM. That way, when people get all ancy and want their next Mr Plinkett hit, they can go there and contribute a couple bucks. Maybe RLM could even end up with a budget for an indie movie or something.
The fact that you contribute a buck does not mean that they have to tell anybody when the release date is.
It also doesnt mean that red letter media people dont have pesonal lives and jobs which can interfere with fan made movies and reviews.
Also: indie movies are very VERY low bugdet most of the time actors arent paid a dime and all the stuff used in the movie is rented or just burrowed from personal friends or friendly movie company. So your buck might have not made as big of an impact as you may think.
The fact that you gave them a dollar does not mean youre entitled to anything. It just means you gave them a dollar and (possibly) hope they make more of the stuff you like. You are not their boss because of that dollar.
So ‘no entitlement to anything’ and ‘wait’. I dunno maybe try writing that on your hand? Or twitt it everythay on your phone smaller than your earring hidden under your emo hair? Or however you kids do to remember stuff?
also for the sake of making this experience as simple as possible:
“not being entitled to anything’ – a state when you want something but you cant get it by whining or complaining on and on and on. You want something and you cant do anything about it but wait a little while perhaps. Snappy ironic and oversimplified comebacks dont work either by the way.
‘Waiting’ – continuity of living even thought you want something or someone.The fact that you want it now and youre a special and unique snowflake so you should get it right away doesnt matter. For example ‘I wait for a friend to call me’ means ‘I want/expect a friend to call me and perhaps it will happen in the future’ not ‘I wil whine and whine and tell everyone around me how very important I am and kick and cry untill I get what I want what is a friend calling me’
I’m not sure you actually understand the English language, but I’ll write back anyway because I have time on my hands.
I actually thought your earlier post was pretty good. I thought it somewhat amusing considering that I get annoyed by whiny young people on the internet too. I decided to try to constructively offer an idea, which I thought might be good enough to be picked up by other people who also like this site.
You still with me? I am trying to speak English; I assume you understand it, because you seem to have written something in it previously.
Ok, so, you write back that I don’t “own anybody” for having contributed a dollar to them, that nobody gets paid for indie movies, and there is no point to trying to help out something I like, and that I am emo… uh huh.
See, what we have here is a failure to communicate. You, sir, are acting like a troll and, frankly, an asshole. You won’t even let someone agree with you (try re-reading my post up there). If the wider community of RLM fans is like you, maybe it isn’t such a good idea to try to constructively offer ideas we can all contribute to, because asshats like you will come along and try to make everyone miserable.
How hypocritical is it to be ranting about selfishness and be so blinded by your own emotional state that you can’t even read and understand what other people are trying to communicate in plain English? I’d say you might want to look in the mirror about selfishness and “demanding things” buddy; like; how about your demand that other posters on this forum conform to YOUR demands?
To put it very concisely; Screw You
‘You know, I think the fans should get together and help these guys put
together one of those project-funding-on-the-internet sites for RLM.
That way, when people get all ancy and want their next Mr Plinkett hit,
they can go there and contribute a couple bucks.’
I assumed the post was a snappy sarcastic whine since um … we ARE on one of those project-funding-on-the-internet sites. Kind of. Right? And that you mean that you contributed something (theres a place here where you can contribute to the site I think) and now you want red letter media guys to give you the info since you gave them money or something like that.
F$@# that was overthinking on my part and I do owe you an apology – im very sorry Ive put waay to much deph to your post. And made an ass out myselph on the way ;P Sorry again, completely my bad
Oh and by the way english isnt my even remotely my primary language so I guess I can find a ‘deeper meaning’ that isnt there sometimes. Anyway – sorry again my reply must have been quite a shock
No big deal. I came back too harsh myself. Probably just pissed at the “emo” thing.
I think I’ll go find my “grouch begone” pills now.
Oh Jesus, are you really suggesting that Red Letter Media owes you an APOLOGY??? The delusion of some fans…
I don’t think that at all. All I’m suggesting is that they make a simple post, say to the Twitter account they are constantly updating and give us a heads up on how long we have to wait. I didn’t literally mean they should apologize.
Does anyone know how long it’s actually been since Plinkett’s last review, I really want a new one.
Give us another goddamn review – I cant feel the stench of cat poo anymore ! How the HELL am I supposed to watch ‘on the trail of the marsupilam’ now ? I BUY NEW CATS EVERY WEEK BUT THEY KEEP RUNNIG AWAY WHEN I TURN MY LAWN MOWER ON, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HARVEST CAT POO NEEDED TO WATCH THOSE FUCK*!@# MOVIES THEY KEEP SHOVING IN MY FACE !?!?!?
I used to watch terrible movies and hear the voice of Michel J. Nelson narrating along in my head and have a good laugh… Now I hear Harry S Plinkett… and I cant stop seeing this pizza roll… telling me to use a meat cleaver… in every movie…
When is the next review?
Hurry up with your reviews you lazy fat asshole. Stop bossing the other homos on half in the bag and let them blow each other in peace. WORK for me.
neither bad nor good? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
That movie was an atrocious waste of everybody’s time and money. Even James Camerons’ time and money. It failed to do anything it set out to do and does nothing but establish an unrealistic space Africa and try to make us feel sympathy for these people because greedy, stereotypical marines want money and have nothing better to do than to lay waste to a space Africa. BORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING.
over-stylized. I’d like to see you come up with better films. Honestly the only film of his I legitimately didn’t like was Charlie and the chocolate factory because they made it more about Willy Wonka than Charlie Bucket, and also because it didn’t need a remake. It was a perfect film adaptation of the book and didn’t need to be remade. Also: no one can top Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was the actual name of the book, so I’m not sure what the point is in complaining about that.
He talked about Batman. You turn it into a talk about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And that’s seriously the worst rebuttal ever. “Let’s see YOU make a better ____.”
While I also enjoyed the fight with 3 agents at the beginning of reloaded, but it wasn’t necessary. Like a minute later Neo kicks their asses because they posed no threat to him. So WHAT exactly was the point of that quick fight? To remind us about the end of the first film? To establish Neo’s character (which again, was not necessary) I also liked the fact that the twins could go through things like cars and then be solid again because they didn’t have an obvious weakness. What I HATE about those movies is the fact that way too much time is devoted to exposition about Zion. Couldn’t they have gotten this info to us a different way? like maybe a quick flashback or something not so static and boring? Also the confrontation with the architect should have been at the END of the movie instead of so early on, as with Trinity’s dream. Also the giant mech(s) in Revolutions were stupid. Parts of the final smith fight were cool but it could’ve been better if they’d done it differently rather then a straight fight scene.
Mr. Plinkett, youre so nice and i bet also extremely goodlooking, no make a new fucking review goddammit!!
Plinkett:Redlettermedia as SBEmails:homestarrunner.com most only come for the former, but you don’t have to go nuts about the existence of the latter.
Make whiners put their money where their mouths are. When your kickstarter project reaches $5000, start working on another Plinkett review.
the new total recall emotion less action in that movie
come on Mr Plinkett get a new video out. hell i don’t think we care if its a feature film that is released as a movie. i whould go see it.
Plinkettt….suck on my asshole!!
Please, please, please do Prometheus!
no… too boring. the review would probably end up boring, too.
besides, they already half-in-the-bag’d it
I need a 33 disc DVD set and a Redlettermedia disc companion guide to answer some of my questions. Questions like…
1. What do you guys think are the most overrated films ever made?
2. Why do Mike and Jay always look like they have taken too many depressants whenever they talk about Prometheus?
3. We know how Plinkett killed one of his ex wives in the “car accident” but how did he kill the others?
4. What films do you guys think is the most underatted?
5. Do you guys have a list of the best worst movies?
6. What Plinkett Review do guys think are the best?
7. And uh…. WHEN IS THE NEXT GODDAMMED PLINKETT REVIEW???!!!???!!!
Joking aside though, I still think I can wait but you guys should seriously have a Q&A video.
3. He chopped up Bambi in the bathtub and put her into several dumpsters.
…and paid a prostitute to write a suicide letter and than she wanted to tell on him – but it all ended well. Meaning he pushed her in a fucking water well.
Bambi was killed in a bath tub. “she cut her wrists out of guilt for stealing Plinkett’s money” (so he claims)…
joking aside? wait.. those were jokes????
why havent you done the Matrix Trilogy yet?
i would love to hear your analysis/critique.
that’s just too much work
I dont know if the Matrix trilogy did make such an Impact that it should be reviewed.
Maybe Lord of the Rings ? Its good so I guess lots of people would bitch and moan that ‘plinket got soft’ or something but that would be pretty cool.
Id also like to see the Pirates trilogy review (since they are basicly star wars script in the carrabeans) or AVENGERS and the previous movies review – as in nowdays it takes 4 or 5 movies which are commercials for an actual movie. Review would consist of review of the movie small reviews of the previous captain america thor etc movies. Its an interesting phenomenon – I think.
Also – Bicentennial Man !
For better or worse, the Matrix movies changed the entire landscape of action movies. The Pirates movies were really popular movies…About Pirates. Don’t see how they made more of an impact than Matrix.
Hmm … dunno. I thought of Pirates as showing how scripts are similar how to create an emotional connetion and possibly how to watch out for too many sub plots (hovewer I loved part 3 story-wise it was a clusterf#!@@!)
Plus only Matrix 1 made an impact I think part 2 and 3 only fucked everything up. And while I love star wars reviews I think bitching-all-the-time plinkett is getting stale and Id prefer something more educational like the last Titanic review. Just my oppinion though
Stop sitting around your fatass and give us what we want you fat homo. Nobody cares about half in the bag.
The way this is going I’ll have completed my second term before we get the new review.
well then go invade iran to keep us entertained in the meantime.
or north korea.
Hey plinkett, review some bad anime like sword art online
Go away /a/
Plinkett is the only thing on this site that isn’t shit. Red Letter Media is the most disappointed thing since Plinkett’s son. Please stop with all the shit and make more Plinkett reviews.
Have you thought of making commentaries like the oryginal star wars? (Im not calling it a new hope because its just as goddamn stupid as ‘the phantom menance’ and implies that the prequels were supposed to exist instead of being created due to inability to sell more ewok toys because even the kids started hating them).
Im not gonna bitch that I wand a new review (I do but I prefer them to be as good as possible so I can wait even fucking years for another one – half in the bag works awesome as a week-to-week thing) but commentaries should be easier to do I think – right ? Im not an expert on this but it seems logical and would be awesome – you could do a commentary from time to time so we would get some more plinkett time and you could do a full actual review when you feel like you have quality work in your hands.
Uh… “posted 11 days ago”… ?
Sorry for the stupid response, I’d read the post wrong.
I don’t know if you’re aware of this but when the first Star Wars movie came out there was also a novelization entitled “A New Hope”…
Star Wars may not have originally been “Episode IV: A New Hope” but it earned that title just after Empire Strikes Back was released as “Episode V”. It was called Episode IV eighteen years before the release of the first prequel. I’m not defending the new movies, but they were an idea before merchandise sales began to slow.
hmm i actually read somewhere that all the ‘prequels’ were was a 5-7 pages of text needed to for creation on oryginal trilogy. Remember when Jack Sparrow in the pirates is about to be hanged and they read his charges for his actions in the past ? Something like that.
I dont actually mind the title ‘a new hope’ its not stupid or antyhing like the phantom menance plus I do not have encyclopedic knowlege of Star Wars (I am a nerd but … no I wont read everything about it I know much already) so I cant point at the exact point where the new hope name was given but … I dont think it was justified untill the prequels came out.
Maybe Lucas thought about making the prequels and he changed the name ? Or it was annoying to hm that the movie didnt have a full title like empire or return?
What I mean is I agree with plinkett – when you watch the new hope it does not feel like a movie that is supposed to have more movies set in the past of the universe. It feels like its just creating things like the emperor because the bad guys are in the empire and so on. Hmmm. I think so at least.
I’m not saying the idea for the prequels was anything more than an idea. Scripts were definitely not written, I’m sure he didn’t have any concrete story idea let alone an outline. But the fact of the matter is, George Lucas is (was?) is a brilliant business man and that’s all he is. He cannot write a script. He cannot direct a movie.
The strength of the original franchise, in terms of the films themselves, comes from the constructive criticism of others. Everyone knows this by now. Han Solo would have been a frog man or some shit. But he knew he wanted to merchandise. He’s the first person to turn merchandising into a viable and highly profitable venue for revenue in the blockbuster industry.
After the success of the original Star Wars he didn’t just say he was going to complete the trilogy by making two more films, he also promised, just in the title, by saying “Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back” and subsequently altering the original to “A New Hope” for it’s circa-1983 rerelease, he promised three more movies sometime in the future. He didn’t promise a script. He didn’t promise a good idea. He just promised more movies, with a few roman numerals.
I mean, we are in agreement in terms of our feelings towards the man and the films. We could be the same person for all I know. I’m just saying, the baseline idea for prequels was promised in Empire’s release.
oh god i hardly read any of that shit
but you think ep’s 1, 2, and 3 were written before he made ep 4.
no. star wars was given the subtitle of “episode 4: a new hope” simply to give the impression that there was so much adventure that has already passed. it was a clever little trick that worked.
in fact, it worked so fucking well that it made us buy into 3 shit films that would have not even broken even without having been prequels to ep’s 4, 5, and 6.
think about it.
I mean, yeah, you just said what I said. Of course they weren’t written before ep four. I’m sorry to have engaged you with a reply.
no that’s cool, no need to be sorry.
i just thought it was important enough to make clear that the “works of genius” ep’s 1, 2, and 3 were NOT written before ep 4.
How many assholes can’t spell the word orgynal?
how many assholes can spell?
no really, it’s a riddle
actually I loved the wok toys when I was a kid
I cannot wait to hear what he says when he finds out Lucas sold his company to Disney for 4 billion and they are making Star Wars Episode 7, 8, and 9.
the real final nail in the coffin for the entire star wars franchise would be if a disney character made a cameo appearance in a sequel to revenge of the sith.
in movie terms, you literally cannot get any more crass and lame than that.
yeah, i think the franchise died during the opening sequences of phantom menace, so i guess i could say that ep’s 1, 2, and 3 were the death, the disney purchase the unholy ressurection, and the yet-to-be-made disney sequels the undead zombie-like rotten growl, then when goofy walks in and gives chewbacca jr a high-five, that’s the final step of the ritual that hand-delivers the entire franchise into the bowels of hell.
holy shit… my metaphor was more interesting than all three prequels combined!
AND MADE MORE SENSE
Hey Plinkett, Disney have bought Lucasfilm and they’re going to be making more Star Wars films…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyqlTi7lkhY heres the correct link I think
oh so disney are gonna make ep’s 7, 8, and 9.
at first i had horrible thoughts of goofy waving a light saber, but then the jack sparrow and john carter movies were actually better than ep’s 1, 2, and 3, so it is quit possible that ep’s 7, 8, and 9 will be better as well.
IN A NUTSHELL, DISNEY WOULD PROBABLY DO A BETTER JOB OF EP’S 7, 8, AND 9 THAN LUCAS.
Get off your ass Plinkett and make another review , If you do I will give you a lifetime supply of Pizza Rolls .
there making more star wasz
You are such a douche. Don’t compare those shitty Pirates movies to Star Wars! I think I’m going to vomit! You just compared Captain Jack Sparrow to Han Sol-
oh, I vomited. Oops, vomited some more. Vomiting in stanzas. I don’t even know what that means.
yeah sorry but star wars are not better movies than the pirates.
I like star wars more sure, maybe beacuse I watched them when I was a child and for years were a book-reading fan of that universe . But they were (aside from Empire perhaps) just adventure movies that were great. Nothing more.
Oh an yeah you can compare han solo to jack sparrow ;P theyre the same archetype of character – rogue with a heart of gold, more experienced than the main character (luke/boring blacksmith guy) a little more evil and not as one-dimentional.
Also yelling ‘Im going to vomit’ does not make your point valid. It just makes you look like someone who uses pliketts quotes to force your opinion, Maybe the new movies will suck – theres a good possibility of thatm syre – but maybe they wont?
My point is if lucas does not make them and a decent company does maybe theres no point to whine how horrible they will be untill they come out? I mean most people would bet the Avengers would suck and they didnt.
Also from your comment Id say that even Scorsese would make the movie youd yell ‘Oh a guy who made Godfather! Im gona vomit!’ or something similar. Judging something that does not exist is kind of pointless dont you think?
If you are looking for epic story telling I am not very sure that Disney would be the best place to go. I think of the pirates movies to be a cross of transformers and the star wars prequels. While the acting is by far better they still got caught up in the use of CGI and explosions. Not to say that it was not an entertaining movie but to compare this with the original star wars which explores much more depth of characters and themes I would say is wrong. Pirates capitalized on the same nostalgia franchises we knew and loved as kids. Things like Disney Land, Transformers cartoons and toys, rockin-sockin-robots, battleship, and star wars. I am reminded of the current vampire/zombie craze that has run rampant. I feel that Pirates fall under this same category.
If you are looking for a comparison I think you would find a closer match in Charlie the dog in All dogs go to heaven movie. Who is a roguish gambling, risk taker not afraid to get his hand dirty, as opposed to an aloof, drunken, scoundrel, manipulator. Jack may have had similarities but he uses everyone though out all the movies to get what he wants while Charlie and Han are both willing to break the rules, and get what they want but in then go back and take the risk of helping in the end. In fact in general you will find much better films and storytelling in Don Bluth’s productions than you would ever find at Disney. Disney is exactly what Lukas is a highly commercialized entity more concerned with making money than telling a good story. No Disney movie has made me want to cry yet I find myself fighting tears every time I watch little foot run at his shadow thinking it’s his dead mother. Or Fievel Mouskewitz lamenting about the loss of his family as he sits in filth all alone in the cold. These animated films carry much more drama and better acting in 1 scene than the whole damn Pirates and Star Wars prequels combined. To think that Disney would do better when they don’t have the best track record is pretty darn naïve. While I respect your opinion I have sincere doubts
that this money making machine could possibly accomplish this momentous task.
Now this is a message and criticism I am happy to reply to !
And yes I would agree that pirates are a much simpler movie than the star wars. Dont get me wrong on that. But they still were much MUCH better than the prequels ( I know – even dead, rotting animals on the side of the road are better than the prequel, but you get what I mean).
One thing is – nothing will ever live up to our expectations regarding star wars. Sure they were great movies but theyve grown in our heads and now they are something much bigger in there that they really are.
Watch the plinkett commentary of a new hope – he easily finds lots and lots and lots of mistakes and things to laugh at. Every movie has those things.
Sure if I had magical powers I would make Scorsese do the movies – prequels and sequels. Hes a perfect moviemaker and is fascinated by the philosophies and the religions of the East – mainly buddhism. As a Zen practicioner I would love that.
I would also create a script that focuses mainly on story, dialogues and slow character developement that would fascinate me and make me think.
But thats never gonna happen.
Scorsese will not make the movies because he doesnt give a sh&#* and whomever makes the movies will have to put lightsaber fights there to make people see the movie in order for them to be profitable. Thats just how the world works.
What I mean is: theres a good possibility that those movies will be decent.
As in: yes they might suck but they also might be pretty good.
Not ‘perfect’ – ‘good’.
Oryginal movies werent perfet either by the way, we just think they were because of the feelings we associate with them.
We wont know anything for sure untill the sequels are done anyway.
My hope is this:
1)Star Wars is a great franchise. As in: a great way to make money.
2)Disney realizes that and also realizes that Lucas almost fu$$@@ it up completely with the prequels. People do not believe in ‘new star wars movies will be good because its star wars’ anymore. So just using the name and doing nothing more wont make the cashcow give milk anymore
3)The only way to make the cash flow their way (and they need at least 5-6 billion profit to make this deal good since they gave lucas 4) is to make good movies. Movies that will make you come back and buy games and books and so on. They cant capitalize on just the name – prequels already did that and now it wont work.
So the only way to make money for the company is to do a good job making the movies – than the cash will flow.
And they have resources to do that – lots and lots of cash, lots and lots of pull with actors and directors and so on.
Sure theyll probbably streamline the philosophies a little and put more action in it but they wont make a disaster like the prequels.
Pirates werent THAT dumb. If theyd do exacly what they did there in the new star wars just add some eastern philosophies, quotes and thoughts and perhaps a few visual metaphores wed get good movies. Or at least I would be happy to see them.
Its like that new star trek movie:
Its dumber than the oryginal movies but its not dumb per se and its waaay better than the new generation movies.
It revived a franchise which was almost killed by dumb decisions and awful moviemaking. I would have revieved it a little diffriently but this doesnt change the fact that the franchise would be dead and buried without this film.
And most important of all: it was fun to watch. As in I didnt feel angry or irritated when watching it – I kinda liked it. Its not my PERFECT start trek movie but hey – star trek lives, is pretty decent and Id get new adventures of Federation heroes soon. The deal isnt that bad I think.
Oh and Lion King made me cry ;P How fucking embarrassed I was I cannot descibe but it did
Also: while I did not cry during the Avengers I did enjoy them a LOT. If they took the same director and screenwrighter (just make the movies deeper since star wars is not the same as superhero movies) the new movies could really be AWESOME xD
Once again – sure mickey mouse may fu#$$ me up the ass#$$% without any kind of lubrication but I might as well get a great movie and life brought back to my favorite franchise. Since I cant do anything about this or influence how the things will play out in any way I choose to be hopeful of the future.
I am not opposed to the use of action/explosions and CGI in fact these are some of my favorite movies. I have a personal collection dedicated to arnold schwarzenegger. My whole point is that the Pirate films were not very memorable beside slutty bitches getting wet with sea water, and Octo-Beard, and the line “why is the rum gone?!” These movies while entertaining do not strike any emotional cord or even a f**K ya! cord like a schwarzenegger or other film may strike. I merely found them entertaining and hope for much more than “just entertaining” for more Star Wars films.
ps.. Land Before Time is still better than Lion King lol xD
“So just using the name and doing nothing more wont make the cashcow give milk anymore”
You sure? The prequels were pretty damn successful, despite some of the critical backlash.
Btw, sorry for flooding this page with comments lol, it’s just when you read a series of comments and find something to respond to in each of them… you know?
bottom line is most sequels & prequels suck balls especially when they are in the hands of companies who just want to make money as opposed to telling an awesome story. it is good that you have a positive outlook; just allow me to have a negative 1 so we can balance each other out. I am reminded of all things awesome that are destroyed when they attempt to continue beating a dead horse. Examples include: Terminator, Land Before Time, Toy Story, Star Wars, Rocky, Rambo, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Tremors, Speed, Teen Wolf, Back To The future, Lostboys, Transformers, Dumb and dumber, Alien, Airplane, and now the soon to be worst of all Beatlejuice. Plenty of good movies that are awesome, fun, memorable movies are being destroyed in the name of profit and the writers lack of creativity to come up with new material.
Yeah I unfortunately get what you mean, and I can agree to some extent, but there were also lots of never-supposed to-exist-and-made-just-for-cash but good sequels too – for example:
mad max2, toy story 2, X men 2, Wrath of khan (my personal favorite star trek movie), Batman returns, Shrek 2, Airplane2:the sequel, the nake gun 2 1/2, blade II (the only blade movie I liked), back to the future 2 and 3, gremlins 2, lethal weapon 2 and 3, Terminator 2, Godfather II,and also a little known, small and forgotten independent sequel to a suprisingly succesful movie called FUCKI#@$ EMPIRE STRIKES BACK!!!! ;P
So sometimes sequels CAN be good even if made just to cash in on an oryginal movie no ? ;P
also Im not trying to force you to think positive – im trying to convince you to do so buddhism says: if you can do something about something that bothers you – get up and do it, if you cant at least dont worry – it wont do any good anyway and since we cannot do anything about this buyout I suggest we hope for the best (and maybe read a review before going to the cinema) with the new star wars
“While the acting is by far better they still got caught up in the use of CGI and explosions.”
That’s… a rather lame reason to compare them to the prequels, don’t you think?
There’s nothing wrong with CGI, and *especially* nothing wrong with explosions, of which there was a lot in the OT, and in countless action movies that were done with practical effects without one bit of CG.
The only reason it was criticized in the prequels was because… well, it ended up looking too shiny and unrealistic most of the time, and it served as an excuse to do comparably little with the actual actors.
Pirates used tons and tons of real sets, and felt dirty and gritty. Davy Jones was praised as being almost indistinguishable from a character in make-up. There’s no way in hell you can just compare its use of “CGI” to the prequels and use it to imply some parallel in quality.
Plus what made the prequels bad, at the end of the day, WASN’T the CGI and explosions… it was the bad acting and lacklustre storytelling. Which… is exactly what you don’t find in the Pirates movies.
Seriously, it much better lends itself to comparison with the original Star Wars film than the prequels, and I don’t think ANH had any particularly “deeper” themes or characters, either.
V and VI are obviously on another level already, and I wouldn’t compare them to the Pirates sequels – those were more “epic”, more serious at times, but at their core still the same adventure movies as the first one.
My point was that the story was not what you take away most
form those Pirate films. I clearly state that they were entertaining and had better acting by far. While the Pirate films didn’t have any major plot problems that I can think of it wasn’t memorable to me at all. The 1st Pirate movie was by far the best but still once again doesn’t hold a candle to striking an emotional cord like ANH did for me. It’s not just about acting, special effects, and plot. The score and tone of the film it’s self is more memorable than anything I can think of in Pirates. I fact the only thing I remember form those films were “why is the rum gone?!”, Davy Jones Octo-beard, and Keira Knightley looking all sexy in her bustier. Disney was capable of great story telling but
started to lose its focus when it became much more of a commercial empire. (Not that this is bad either and in my humble opinion) This led to lackluster writing and sub-par story telling when you compare them to the work that Don Bluth did when he left Disney and Teamed up with Steven Spielberg. So again my problem lies in the fact that the
story it’s self isn’t all that interesting and I think a lot of it had to do
with the fact that they were trying to capitalize off a ride at their own theme park and the popularity of Pirates themselves. To me it is clear at least that all the attention went to the explosions and this bumbling cocksure drunken manipulator. I am not opposed to explosions and CGI but I do think that a story can suffer at least somewhat when this or other things take precedence. Think of all the marketing that went into it. You had eye candy for the dudes and chicks, Pirates, and the nostalgia you would feel remembering floating though those musty, dark, watery tunnels.
I also happen to disagree about the over use of the CGI as
well with the prequels. For me that was a huge problem with the movie. Even on the dirty dry deserts of tatooine everything felt glossy and out of place. There was no grit to the films, which ruined the element for me. While pirates was definitely nowhere near as bad it still had a kind of film or what I call a “clean dirty” look to it. All these dirty ass dudes running around with mascara
on. These fake sets don’t exactly give an actor a lot to work with, so can you really blame them for the lackluster performance?
In fact all the stars in these films are notoriously good actors ironically. So the over use of special effects and explosions do effect the story quite a bit. A good example of this would be any Schwarzenegger film. You don’t watch his movies for the plot, the same as I don’t watch Pirates for a plot. I watch it because it satisfies my desire for that nostalgia of watching sweet films jason and the
Argonauts, the adventures of Sinbad, the odyssey, and once again looking at some hot chick getting sprayed with sea water while remembering my trip to Disneyland.
Hmm I have to disagree here with you – its a matter of personal tastes I guess but I did like the story in the pirates. I really did. A lot.
As far as adventure movies go Its pretty much perfect storytelling:
- the blacksmith and keira and jack had their own arcs and they changed during the movies (jack least of all but he still did change a little).
-I really really liked all the characters aside from will turner (I dont like ‘the good hero’ archetype) and that ALSO includes the villians which is a hard thing to do.
-I loved that aside from that assho@# english-colonial-merchant-or-whatever-guy every single ‘bad’ character or villian wasnt black and the heroes werent white. It wasnt Godfather deph of character but it was there and thats so very seldom seen in action-adventure movies.
-there were lots of action sequences but it wasnt pointless action – it pushed the story forward. An they looked good visually and were quite oryginal sometimes.
-the plot wasnt too simplistic (since everybody wanted to scre!@$ each other) but it also wasnt too complicated for an action-adventure movie. It was just right: you need to get the magical X to do Y – and then everybody fights for it – sometimes with swords, sometimes with cunning and words.
-The effects were really REALLY good. I usually dont care about special effects but I was really impressed how everything – undead pirates, cursed fish pirates, the cracken and so on – was done.
and most important of all – I really got a feeling that the movie had a heart.
Sure it made lots and lots of money but I got a feeling that the director and the actors and the writers had genuine fun creating this story and its characters and their adventures.
Besides as much as I love star wars and its universe aside from the Empire theyre just great adventure movies. Theyre not really art – we just like them a lot so theyve become more than they are in our heads I think.
The new hope and the return do not have that much more going on then pirates when you look at them objectivly. Empire does but thats about it.
Seriously – as I said I too like star wars more – but how is the story in the new hope deeper or more meaningful than the pirates? Really? When you put aside youre subjective feelings about star wars?
I fine the tone of the movie that is set is simply amazing. The score mixed wit the shots really show the desperation and plight Luke and his friends go though. You have this small town boy who has these dreams and feeling that he was meant for something bigger. this simple notion mixed with the score of the movie was simply incredible. can you remember how every piece of music goes in Pirates. People may not think it but his adds so much depth to the movie. When look is standing on the hill looking over the plains of tatooine and you hear that music I stirs up all that emotion. Or how about the seedy dive bar at mos eisley where we get to see the most wretched scum and villainy. The fun bouncy music is awesome as it shows us all these different aliens and creatures for the 1st time I was filled with excitement! Then we get to see Han for the 1st time and what does he do? He blows away Greedo! We are all thinking WHAT A BAD A@@!! I want to be a smuggler!!! This 1 space bar scene has inspired dozens of people to make countless spin-offs. I don’t think people give ANH enough credit. It had a big task with setting the stage and I think it was a marvelous example of how to do that.
With pirates all I see is pretty boys trying their hardest to pull of Jonny Depp so they can score with some chicks. You have make some great points about the pirates movies and they make a lot of sense. but at least to me they will never be as memorable as a movie like Total Recall, Star Wars, Pulp Fiction, Ip Man, Rumble In The Bronx, Clerks, or any host of movies that used creative story telling, great visuals, cool stuff, CGI, explosions, action, music, or cheesy lines to make the movie very memorable. I struggle to recall what I saw in that film as opposed to the awesome cheesy make-up as Quaid Pulls the tracking device out of his nose in Total Recall. That is Disney’s problem to me. They think about how can we target people can get them to watch this movie? Well we can get Depp in here to make the ladies want more, we can get Kiera in here for the guys, Pirates for the kids and adults and slap it on and make some $$!! I think the biggest problem I hate wit the movies was the dragging of the story to make more money. leaving it at 1 film would have been fine and made it much more intriguing I feel. I suppose we are arguing opinions here but it has been great fun! Thanks for spurning my love to new heights and providing me with thoughtful insights with your opinion.
It also is fun aruing with you Marcus
So, for the sake of the arguement – fu@##$ Ill probbably get killed by star wars fans here (dont forget Im a big fan of them too people!) but I cant help myself- here goes :
“Well we can get Depp in here to make the ladies want more, we can get Kiera in here for the guys, Pirates for the kids and adults and slap it on and make some $$!!”
“leaving it at 1 film would have been fine and made it much more intriguing I feel”
my response to this is:
“Well we can make a badboy one of the heroes to make the ladies want more, lets call him Han or whatever and make him something interesting and unlawful – like a smuggler!- and give him some edge – like shooting first! – so both the girls and the boys will find him cool, than we can get a sexy princess as a Damsel in Distress in here for the guys – she has to be bossy though so the feminists wont argue – and of course we need a fish-out-of-the-water guy whos a little too good and has to have everything explained to him so the audience will know whats going on and can picture normal guys like themselves being part of the action.Got it all ?What ? You think Science Fiction will be hard to explain to the audience? Well … I dunno … put and old wise guy there, make him explain everything and than kill him off quickly so he wont bore the bigger, dumber part of the audience. Now did you get it all? Than slap it all together and lets make some $$$ ! Oh and put swords there – kids will love it and buy them! Plus we just cant seem to sell those we manufacured in Korea last month. What? You cant make swords work in a science fiction movie ? Why not? Well … I dunno … make them shiny, laser or plasma swords from the future – whatever, I dont give a fuc!#$”
(and than we get an interview with pararell-unviverse lucas):
“Yeah I thought about making a sequel, Id call it Empire Strikes Back or something but .. you know … Im an artist and I dont want to cash in on the oryginal movie … besides – leaving it at 1 film will be fine and make it much more intriguing I feel”
Get it ? ;-))
(hiding behind a table before people start throwing things at me)
Although I don’t find Will Turner “boring”, I thought he was a terrific protagonist in the first movie, and held together the sequels pretty well, too.
I especially like the combination between sincerity and humor that he does, and I felt his acting was rather charismatic and impressive most of the time.
Some may remember him as being that dull, underacting, idealistic bore among those really exciting, shady hammy pirates – but actually he was just as theatralic as them, speaking mostly in an exaggeratedly elegant (one might call it “Shakespearean” in a way) manner and providing a comical contrast to his environment – and that was when he wasn’t doing some hilarious, silly thing himself, which happened a lot.
Everyone keeps saying he was “boring”, but I just don’t see it.
Well this type of character just bores me – I hate idealist-heroic-good characters and love the rascal characters. Theyre just much more interesting to me but I guess thats just a matter of tastes
For example: I hated Luke and hate him still ;P sure he works but every single character in the oryginal trilogy is just waaaay more intersting to me than he is.
I mean serously – I liked that ‘its a trap’ fish guy (forgot his name – Ackbar?) more than luke – and I hated him in the books of Expanded Universe too.
Blacksmith is not as whiny but hes still boring to me too – but thats just my oppinion I used ‘boring blacksmith’ name just because I could not remeber what his name was
Francis Ford Coppolla made the Godfather movies you idiot.
“those shitty Pirates movies”
I don’t think you have any conception of what a good movie is. You’re just a star wars nerd who can’t wrap his mind around some movie being different from your favorite one – Jack Sparrow, while being roughly the same archetype, is a comedic weirdo and a trickster, so now that sucks.
The villains are hammy pirates rather than evil overlords and nazis, so… they suck.
I doubt you’ve spent even a minute looking at the actual cinematic and narrative qualities of those movies, especially the first one, at least not if one judges by your comment.
“”So just using the name and doing nothing more wont make the cashcow give milk anymore”
You sure? The prequels were pretty damn successful, despite some of the critical backlash.”
I know I wrote a long post but read carefully ;P what I said is :
the prequels used just the name and they broke the trust of the people and while people did went to see them ‘just because there star wars’ now the customers need something more because the name ‘star wars’ doesnt carry the same weight as it did (because then you associated it with the great oryginal trilogy and now you associate it with sh#!!$ prequels).
So since the name alone doesnt bring the audiece anymore and they do need cash to make buying lucasarts profitable – there pretty much forced to make decent movies and Im exited about that to tell the truth because thats a reason that would make even a money grabbing company do great work – theyre greedy and the only way to satisfy that greed is to do their best to make a good movie
Oh and I do agree with John that CGI etc doesnt make a movie bad. Or explotions or action. Not when theyre used right.
The prequels – as plinkett said – failed to connect with the people and to tell the story in a way thats interesting and/or compelling. Thats the main problem with them.
Sure CGI were used wrong but I disagree with that one cant make a movie entirely with blue screen. Sure they can . It just has to be used right
- put some things inside like spaceships, furniture etc to make it as real as possible.
-Make the area big so the actors wouldnt be forced to act in a tiny enviroment.
-Direct right so the actors know when and how to respond not just stand and say sh!#@#@$ dialogue.
-Dont make the special effects the focus of the movie. Make them a way to tell a story.
The list goes on but you catch my drift.
Besides you cant just say that something is wrong because it sucked in the prequels and plinkett pointed it out.
Example : Obi-One sucked a#% and was boring but Ewan McGregor is an awesome AWESOME actor. He was just directed wrong and his character was written horribly as were all the other characters in the prequels.
That doesnt make Ewan a bad actor – that makes Lucas a moron.
you made yourself look online-stupid by using the “vomiting in stanzas” thing out of context
lucas says that “he tried to make the movies rhyme” by mirroring scenes from the original trilogy in the new trilogy (this is also known as “borrowing from something that once worked because i cant think of anything new”)
“making his movies rhyme” implies a musical context to the point in question
therefore “vomiting in stanzas” thing means “what lucas tried to do sucked so hard it made me vomit”
you didn’t get that and so you think it was just a cool way of saying something sucked.
do you go around saying that various everyday things “make you vomit in stanzas”, expecting people to find you charismatic because you spouted some phrase they didn’t recognize?
they probably don’t recognize it, so at least they won’t see how you have no grasp of context
the pirate carbean depp movies were only good because depp was good as sparrow
without him the movies would have flopped
capt jack sparrow is infinitely more charismatic, fun, witty and ingteresting to watch than any character from any star wars movie or star wars thing ever made – han solo being the only possible close contender
thanks for adding a picture to your account.
its now so much easier to downvote you without reading a letter of your comments now =D
It’s a photo of Santa Claus and there are no other contenders for the Christmas spot, so yeah feel free to waste your time with the voting process.
I’ll just remember to skip your chimney when I’m doing the seasonal rounds. NO POWER RANGER DOLLS FOR YOU KIDDO
I hope you’ve learned your lesson! You kids these days, all jacked up on dope n cracking spoon in a brothel n snortn blow from a hooker’s belly button and OH WAIT NO THATS MY OFF-SEASON SANTA ROUTINE SRY
Uh, I’ve already replied to something simialr on another video, but seriously, you’re
*way* overdoing Lucas’ “failure”.
He and his late movies are still popular and well received among many, it’s just the large amount of criticism probably gets to him nevertheless – but he’s got his own policies regarding the OT release to thank for that, so it’s kind of directly his fault.
I don’t feel to keen about “picking on” him, either, but he’s not as much a failed miserable artist at this point as he’s an asshole to his fans. And it’s something that can be easily reverted, so… yea.
Also, his retirement may be seen as a consequence of such a depression, but not this – he’s always said he wouldn’t do any more SW movies, the franchise’s been milked with animated shows, rereleases and video games for almost a decade now. It’s not like he wanted to make more movies but all the criticism discouraged him horribly – he never was going to, and now he let someone else do it. Strikes more as “normal” and “reasonable” than depressed and desperate… but maybe that’s just me.
Also, for all his apparent cries and tears, he still came off as funny and charismatic in that interview – he seems alright to me.
I think hes just dumb and a bad director to tell the truth. I dont think hes a bad person.
And I think he may have sold lucasarts to someone to make good star wars and indiana jones movies. I mean sure he did it for cash too (I wouldnt mind 4 bilion in my pocket either) but hmm …. I dunno. Seen that remark when the reporter says ‘youll be a creative executive (or something)’ and he says ‘yes BUT DONT WORRY ill be JUST like a hologram’ (sorry for caps want to point something out) ? It just seemed to me that he failed miserably, kows it, feels bad about it (and he should – the prequels were horrible and he was arrogant for not just hiring a director after the phantom menance) and just wants out – so he sold the company to someone who gave him a good deal and possibly can do a better job and than ran.
Picking on lucas now is like picking on the fat kid who used his mommy to froce himselph into the team because he thought (for no reason) hed be awesome in it and than made the team fail every single game in the season.
I mean the kid fuc%@!# up and everybody pointed and laughed – and they had every right to do so – but now when he cries in the corridor for the third week its just not fun anymore. I think.
Never feel sorry for a man that owns a plane – David Mamet
Please please please do an Amazing Spiderman review. You’re seriously the only movie reviewer that actually looks at a movie beyond it’s graphics. DO EEET!!
Harry, please do your next review on Skyfall. It was the most disappointing thing since Crystall Skull.
Please do a review for The Avengers. People need to see why it was an average movie.
i saw why when i watched it.
Hey Plinkett, since I’m stuck in the void and all, do you think you can review the 1999 animated version of The King and I?
Whats your bet on what the next review will be about?
Mine are kill bill series (because of the trailer) or the matrix series (because they RELLY need the review filled with nerd rage over destroying a beloved franchise just for more money).
Oh and also one of the Wachowski Brothers is now a Wachowski sister. Which means they should now be called Wachowski Siblings or something. Would love to see Plinkett implement that in a matrix review
When are you lazy assholes gonna put up the new Plinkett review? It would probably be done already if you didn’t waste so much time standing on a soapbox and making that self-indulgent Half in the Bag shit.
prometheus is dying for a review and I’m sure you have plenty to say about it.
They do have plenty to say about it. That’s why they’ve already made THREE VIDEOS about Prometheus. Please look around more of their website than just this one Plinkett page.
You should review Godzilla (the one with matthew broderick) its got plinket punch bag material written all over it.
Odd hypothetical(If you read the comments): Would you consider making plinkett reviews for a living? If so, how many could I realistically commission in a year, and how much would you charge per?
Plinket has to review The Three Stooges. the comparison of old and new, the fact that it follows the EXACT same arc as every other Farelly Bros. movie, the inclusion of those 5 minute famous jersey shore assholes. Its a perfect thing for plinket to go long-form and sodomize what could have been a good flick.
Just go ahead and do commentaries for star wars episodes 2,3,5 and 6. Loved 1 and 4, hilarious!
Your Star Wars reviews taught me more about plot structure and characters than
any teacher.That either speaks highly of you or low of the educational system.
plinkett’s reviews not only helped me get over my alcohol problem (actually, “alcohol acquisition problem”), but also they taught me how to think “on so many levels”.
i would love to explain this more objectively, but fuck it. you’ve seen the reviews. you know the genius that is mr plinkett.
Ok – must have Hobbit review, my preciousss!
So many analogies to Star Wars. I even had Plinkett going through my head while I was watching the movie premiere.
dude…..i know that you probably dont do game reviews…but if you could review the mass effect trilogy….with the emphasis on how crap mass effect 3 was…then you sir would be a genius
” i know you probably dont do game reviews”
*goes on to request a game review*
i really dont think you should comment ever again
the more i read you comments the more i PRAY to not see anymore
you intelligence level shocks me, and i’m a dumb american 23 year old
i have the power to cast different versions of the shock spell according to the target’s weakest attribute
i gained it because my power level is over 9000
also, you still didn’t explain why that guy should never comment again
Infamy is also fame…
Will you do Django Unchained Movie Review. I think you be perfect in pulling it off Nicely
Plinkett should do Twilight… I would simply love that… XD
the twiglet movies would make for great reviews because they try very hard to not be crap
but you should try adding a poetry death threat in there to add more weight to the polite request
PLINKETT SHOULD DO TWILIGHT
OR I’LL GUT HIM IN THE NIGHT
FOR NOW HE’LL SAY “YEAH, OH RIGHT”
BEWARE! MY KNIVES BRING A GREAT FRIGHT
Please please do a review of the blue ball movie of the summer……..Prometheus
Review Bicentennial Man you as@!#@!# ! I CANNOT stop watching this movie and I do not know why. I mean its childlish but I cannot stop liking it. Is it good ? Why not? Move your fat as!@# and review it – why in Gods name do I find a movie thats that bad good ?
I mean seriusly the movies pretty childlish
it stars robbin williams
its got creepy robot on grandmother AND granddaughter action
lots of 1 dimentional characters. Most of them actually
lots of mistakes (like the child having brown eyes and than having blue eyes as an adult
its got obvious methaphores and hits you over the head with them
it starrs robbin williams
it stars robbin williams having sex and taling about it
it starrs oliver platt talking with robin williams about having sex and genitalia
and I still watch it more than Blade Runner. And I f!#@$ love Blade Runner both the movie and the book. What the hell is wrong with me ?
i have a suggestion for you
stop watching bicentenninalial man
its got robin williams
anything with robin williams in it is a pile of shit
that is not only a clear-cut review of bicentsexual man, but every robin billiams flick ever.
Your Palpatine impression is so awesome, best I’ve ever heard.
“pantaloons” was trying too hard
Hope Plinkett does more full movie commentaries like with the Star Wars Ep I and IV. Like maybe tackle Ep II and III
My son loves watching your reviews Mr. Plinkett. But as a mom, i have to say, please keep the profane language to a minimum, i don’t want my son exposed to such filth. God be with you
lol you honestly think your one comment is going to change his entire style of reviewing? wtf is that!?
it’s called a “polite request”
…and the answer is “fuck no”
GO STREAM BACKYARDIGANS FOR YOUR BOY THIS IS NO PLACE FOR CHILDREN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN
Please an ANALysis on the Matrix trilogy.
Mr. Plinkett, please review The Matrix series. My tax money goes to paying your EBT cards, so I might as well get some use out of it.
fuck that shit.
fuck that shit? simply because its not one of your mediocre ideas?
in a nutshell: yes.
and thanks for checking with me
your name presents and incredible amount of irony
“your name presents and incredible amount of irony”
my name presents? just generally… presents. okay.
the second part doesn’t make sense by itself
i can see you were trying to be clever
that is a risky proposition for you because you made yourself look stupid
which is okay …except for when you’re trying to be clever
but please feel free to try again. thousands of screaming fans are at the edge of their seats to see what you’re going to come up with next
i hope you’re not trying when you type these. the most i get out of them is the first two and last two letters
CUrb your enthusiasm!
So you got “YOXT” from that last message?
What language it that? Seems very differeNT.
Review the 1997 classic “Star Kid,” the story of a young boy who finds a robot suit and goes from zero to hero.
Please do a Terminator 3 or Terminator Salvation review.
every film in the terminator series deserves it’s own review for it’s own reasons.
T1. classic. so much done right. it’s so good it would be a review with no flaws, but still 1000% interesting.
T2. another classic. plenty done right, but arnie as a good guy?… pro’s and con’s worth looking into.
T3. was it good or did it suck ass?! PLINKETT PLEASE ELABORATE.
TS. IT SUCKED ASS. but please take 90 minutes to tell us why.
bob franklin… gold star for you good man.
May I please have a pizza roll?
im going to cut you plinkett
i also am getting bored of waiting for the next review with no word
but shit like this probably isnt going to make them any more anxious to put it out there
yes it will
getting cut isn’t fun
hey you should do a documentary on George Lucas, which tracts his actual contributions to the Star Wars saga, interview people who have worked with him and get honest opinions, and create a character story tracking how this one man who lucked out in creating the best original sci-fi story became bloated by his success and, much like your Citizen Kane references, became blinded to who he used to be. That is a story I am interested in.
No comment on the Padme error?
Imo its pretty obvious Lucas altered the character of Anakin’s future lover from a handmaiden of the queen to the queen herself – without finishing to correct the script.
Its all revealed by the sloppy scene in the ship: “Padme! .. Clean this droid up the best you can.” Now, supposedly the queen of the Naboo was named “Padme Amidala”, with “Amidala” being her surname – and one assumes her name and surname were known to the public. Think about it: would the queen still call herself “Padme” when in hiding among the handmaidens.. wouldn’t that kinda give her away? “You’re called Padme too? How weeeird, so is the Queeeeen!!”
Further, monarchs aren’t normally named by their surnames (when they even have one). Throughout the entire first movie one is continuously lead to believe the name of the queen character is “Amidala”. Then there’s the silly idea that a 14-year-old was “elected” as Queen so that this character can continue to be significant later on.
I think what happened was Lucas originally conceived “Queen Amidala” and her handmaiden “Padme” as separate characters, then merged them together into one – with the handmaiden probably being the future mother of Luke. “Padme” even kind of sounds like “handmeh”..”handmaiden”. Also, Queen Amidala probably wasn’t originally conceived as an elective monarch – that was a device for Lucas to write himself out of the corner of having the Queen of Naboo be Luke’s mother. She obviously couldn’t continue to be the Queen and remain an important character (leading lady) in the plot.
And so the stupid, elective child-Queen that’s referred to by her surname was born. The Queen that hides among the dozen handmaidens but still continues to use her own real first name. She also had to be made a commando and military genius for the purposes of the character’s new role as leading lady. Lucas ret-conned his original concept without fully correcting the script.
Plinkett take over for Roger Ebert
Plinkett take over for Roger Rabbit
Mr. Plinkett, please read my email! I outlined several reasons why you should review
Formerly of Mars.
hold on everyone im just gonna go sift through 100,000 emails to find this guy’s “several reasons”
“several reasons” that i could have read in a comment
but instead he sent a separate email that i gotta open in a different window screen
Wheres the review for Terminator Salvation you lazy asshole.
It’s not going to review itself!
how do you know?
I know because I’m John Connor.
Why did you try to rescue your child father in terminator salvation?
skynet couldn’t kill him because he already will go back in time and bone your mother.
if skynet killed him, or if he didn’t bang your mom, then that would cause a time paradox which would destroy skynet and the world.
watchmen sucked a bag of dicks (there’s your review)
the review of LOTR can be summed up in a 10-second yawn. it was nice to see an attempt of character bonding, not so nice feeling like i’m watching a soft gay soap opera, thinly veiled behind orc fights and dragon farts.
matrix… well… yeah it was a big hit and shit but… we all know what was good and what was bad about it. there is nothing to reveal with a review there.
pirates of the carbean? erm ok here you go…
“johnny depp = awesome, everything else = boring”
might as well call it “90 minutes of johnny depp carrying a whole film on his drunken shoulders”
i think plinkett takes so long to review shit because there isnt much that can actually be made into good reviews. a lot of films have good and bad points, but there needs to be something beyond pointing out the obvious for it to deserve a review.
be patient you fucknuts. if plinkett did one review per week, we would be sick of hearing the same shit over and over, and sick of hearing the obvious.
good movie ideas to review? oh… erm… fuck i dont have any ideas that spring to mind – like i said, that’s probably why plinkett takes so fucking long.
wait. be patient. i’m sure that when plinkett delivers, it will have been worth the while.
T1. classic. so much done right. it’s so good it would be a review with no flaws, but still 1000% interesting.
T2. another classic. plenty done right, but arnie as a good guy?… pro’s and con’s worth looking into.
T3. was it good or did it suck ass?! PLINKETT PLEASE ELABORATE.
TS. IT SUCKED ASS. but please take 90 minutes to tell us why.
you didnt reply to the previous post you’re referring to, so i dont know what the fuck you’re talking about.
however, you’re right! the newest batman series is worth reviewing.
batman begins: the word SHOEHORN fits perfectly here. (PUN INTENDED). worth ripping to shreds because it tries so damn hard to not suck donkey balls.
dark knight: it is worthwhile spending 90 minutes talking about how fucking stupid the hero’s growling voice sounds, and along with an analysis of how the villain totally outshines the hero and carries the movie. they should have called it “the joker, with a guest appearance from batman after 40 marlboro’s” or just “WHY SO SERIOUS? BECAUSE I’M THE ONLY INTERESTING THING IN THIS MOVIE”
knight rises: this was a wierd one because it didnt stroke elephant dicks like batman begins, but it revisited some of the themes, in particular batman’s past. the villain deserves a thorough analysis because he is so contrived and plain, yet still captivatingly interesting. grey areas like this make for a good review.
although this series is a good one to review, if plinkett feels like waving his dick around instead he could just go after the 90s batman series. the first film was basically jack nicholson as the joker, surrounded by boring and predictable people (AGAIN? HUH?). all the other films were just more SHOEHORRRRRNNN CAMEOS.
plinkett… belmont’s batman idea is a WANK. remember that “wank” is 1950s batman jargon for “uppercut”.
the newest batman series is worth reviewing.
– batman begins: the word SHOEHORN fits perfectly here. (PUN INTENDED). worth ripping to shreds because it tries so damn hard to not suck donkey balls.
– dark knight: it is worthwhile spending 90 minutes talking about how fucking stupid the hero’s growling voice sounds, and along with an analysis of how the villain totally outshines the hero and carries the movie. they should have called it “the joker, with a guest appearance from batman after 40 marlboro’s” or just “WHY SO SERIOUS? BECAUSE I’M THE ONLY INTERESTING THING IN THIS MOVIE”
– knight rises: this was a wierd one because it didnt stroke elephant dicks like batman begins, but it revisited some of the themes, in particular batman’s past. the villain deserves a thorough analysis because he is so contrived and plain, yet still captivatingly interesting. grey areas like this make for a good review.
although this series is a good one to review, if plinkett feels like waving his dick around instead he could just go after the 90s batman series. the first film was basically jack nicholson as the joker, surrounded by boring and predictable people (AGAIN? HUH?). all the other films were just more SHOEHORRRRRNNN CAMEO.
i just re-read my own comment and i cant figure out what the pun was
yes im really that clever/stupid
plinkett! do a comparison review between the new and old versions of Total Recall!
– the old one had intrigue and suspense, and a sense of a film that is actually clever and engaging, but still kicks ass with moments of action and thrill.
– the new one had better specail affexts and sexyer bababes and fancy techanalgy.
erm… i think i just kind of did the entire review?
BUT DO IT ANYWAY GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO
i wonder if plinkett actually reads these comments.
they’re on his page.
he obviously checks them the only thing your missing is that the plinkett reviews and redlettermedia have a fanbase thats larger than just a youtube channel
point being, spamming HEY PLINKETT DO THIS THING I SAID, comments only makes you look like a jackass
(btw plinkett isn’t real, and if u dont know that, then mike and jay aren’t going to even read your comment)
1. nobody really gives a fuck, so chill
2. “do this thing i said” is called a suggestion. it’s not legally mandatory to do it. in fact, they probably just dont give a fuck.
would you be whining if i wrote prissy softening phrases like
“just a thought”
or “hey why dont you try x”
or “sorry to bother you, oh great lords of the webzone, i come in peace with the sacrificial offering of a lamb’s head to beg you to review conan the barbarian”…?
3. plinkett isnt real? oh shit that’s why i got no pizza rolls! i sent him all sorts of self-addressed envelopes n shit too.
4. hold on a minute… assuming they can discern if i know they’re real from reading my comment, how would they know if i know they’re real WITHOUT reading my comment?
5. “they”? erm isn’t plinkett just one (fictitous) guy? who the fuck are mike n jay? huh?
6. i bet you’re glad you read this comment all the way to the end.
tl:dr have fun knowing i didn’t read more than 3 letters of that moron
you obviously read the whole thing and got all wound up with the last sentence.
in a fit of online cyber rage, you tried and failed to come up with some kind of witty counter-comment
seeing you try WAS fun, so thanks for that
jesus christ i’m sitting here wondering where the plinkett review is, and i finally found out!
these comments, every other comment is a rude request for a film review. people obviously have no idea how long it takes to make videos this long with this much editing mixed in.
show some gratitude people if your going to request wild and crazy things maybe you should think about donating first?
he’s already getting something like $150 from each of the hundreds of people that bought the commentary track
and around $0 from everyone else who torrented it
just take a moment to think about this…
if he wanted us to “donate first” before commenting, then we would have to donate to be able to comment
he didn’t do that, because he wants wild and crazy things from people who don’t donate
this chat page is worth it just to read people getting all upset about comments
just like on youtube
ps: half in the bag is not half bad
I’ve watched these twice now. Time for more reviews!!!!
only twice? xD
i play them in the background of LoL and BTD5 so i dont get bored while playing them
Those of you who complain about people rudely insisting for more reviews, don’t you understand that Plinket is a character which is inherently satisfying to insult?
did you see into darkness?? the way the script skillfully and flawlessly kept it’s dignity is something to behold. (CANNOT WAIT FOR REDLETTERMEDIA TO CLOG THE WOUND IN MY HEART THAT IS THIS PUSS SPLURTING DISASTER OF A STAR TREK MOVIE)
What’s worthy of a Plinkett review ? The Last Airbender.
Stuck on a 12 hr plane trip, couldn’t stand to watch 5 minutes of this crapfest…
Evan Almighty is pretty much the worst movie ever ripped off of a mediocre schlock fest since my son. Please tell me, in excruciating detail, why I hate this movie so much because I am part of the 90 percent average dumb ass movie goer who can’t understand what’s happening unless it’s slapping me in the face.
Half in the Bag is boring. More Plinkett.
Make a review of The Last Airbender or Iron Man 3, you can go either way, but do one of those please!!!
Last Airbender was pretty horrible, but I can’t get that upset about it because I wasn’t a hardcore fan of the source material, and then I saw that Shaymanlalananan was directing. Um…did ya see The Happening? Should have tipped most folks off right there not to get their hopes up. Trees man…it’s the fucking trees… And Iron Man 3 was over the top, but it wasn’t that bad. A few plot holes doesn’t automatically qualify a movie for Plinkett status. Gotta be selective.
the matrix sequels
Last Airbender was pretty horrible, but I can’t get that upset about it because I wasn’t a hardcore fan of the source material, and then I saw that Shaymanlalananan was directing. Um…did ya see The Happening? Should have tipped most folks off right there not to get their hopes up. Trees man…it’s the fucking trees…
People keep saying trilogy. Is this some sort of online prank or meme or something?
PROMETHUSE would love to see plinketts reaction to this
The Matrix. And please note that it is a complete rip off of Barry Gordy’s The Last Dragon. A kung fu movie about a man who everyone thinks is the one (master) but he doesn’t think he is. Then when he discovers he is he glows gold and stops bullets when he’s shot at.
Wait. The founder of Motown made a kung fu movie? I’m as confused as the day I learned that Michael Jackson’s dad wasn’t the leader of The Joe Jackson Band.
The Matrix sequels
A stupid kids film like Cop Dog or Baby’s Day Out
The Last Airbender ( but ONLY if you already saw the TV series)
I had a dream. Nightmare actually
All the idiots from the ‘into reference’ video COME HERE, and they RUIN EVERYTHING, BY REQUESTING VIDEOS
O wait i’m late on this one they’re already requesting vidoes when plinkett SPECIFICALLY made fun of them for doing exactly that
Gotta be Terminator Salvation, here’s why.
It’s the proudest of all the franchises you teased. Also, it wasn’t until T4 that the Terminator franchise was officially ruined (T3: Rise of the Machines is debatable, not a terrible movie. Still stands up pretty well). It’s possible too that it’s a down, but not out franchise.
Alien is a sweet series as well, but that was also DOA since Alien Resurrection way back in 1997. Subsequent AvP movies and Prometheus were coffin nails. That being said, Prometheus should be a firm #2 on your list.
Matrix 2-3 should be your next choice. First movie, so good. Original (to the majority of us) and a very slick, unique style that captured a lot of our imaginations. However, both sequels were a swing and a miss. So while one could make a strong case that The Matrix is the best individual movie out of any of the movie franchises listed above, as a franchise, however, it is by far the weakest, with 0 good sequels to it’s credit.
And, no, Batman is not the best franchise of those you teased. There’ve been so many Batmans at this point they’ve become diluted. Also those last two Batman movies got a little too up their own ass. Movies were too long and preachy. Dark Knight Rises would be good review fodder though.
Fuck Air Bender. By comparison to the other franchises, no one’s seen it. No broad appeal. I watched your Titanic review and I’ve only seen bits and pieces of that movie, you know why? Cuz it’s fucking stupid, just like your reviews you fat fuck!
Do the star wars prequels of sequels… you know, the Matrix Sequels. And immediately you fat fu-
Matrix sequels without a doubt.
Fuck you Plinkett, do Shakes The Clown already
Please make INCEPTION look like the turd it really is.
“Prometheus” … do that!
A re-watchable movie and disappointing every time. Sort of a good movie, yet so terribly terrible. But why?
Oh, “Inception” is a fine candidate as well.
Disappointing? No, the movie Prometheus made you think. It was not sloppy writing, it had what many movies didn’t. To make you think. Movie masterpieces such as Muholland Drive and Jacob’s Ladder gave you many questions and little answers because the directors and writers knew that we were human beings and had a brain and choice. Now, there are some dumb moments in Prometheus I admit, but no movie is perfect, not even Citizen Kane. But the biggest reason why no one likes the movie is because many don’t understand it. The dumb masses want to see action and explosions, that don’t make you think and either give you the answer or shove up your face numerous times. But as I said before, we are humans so we have a choice. So if you did not like Prometheus, then good for you. If you didn’t understand it and did not like it, then watch it again with an open mind and actually think.
It made you think, sure. It made me think ‘what retard wrote this?’ and ‘lol, they thought this was a good idea?’ Even if it had some redeeming quality (I personally don’t see it), the movie itself is just too bad to enjoy. Silly, stupid things happen all movie long. I’d seen some hype about how it was interesting and I knew some people that thought it was okay but left a lot unanswered. I think it was just because they saw it in the theater and got tricked by the big screen and loud sounds, lol.
When I look at Alien and Aliens, then look at Prometheus… It just makes me wonder what they were thinking. It didn’t have to be an exact replica, but if you going to do weird shit why not just make a new scifi movie? Toss in your famous name and you’ll do fine. We chatted about the movie after watching it, and I personally came to the conclusion that it was just stupid.
I have heard many people say “Anyone who didn’t like Prometheus only want to see explosions and action.”
I have never heard anyone say “I didn’t like Prometheus because it didn’t have enough explosions and action.” Not one.
Are you sure it’s not just the weakest straw man argument ever, conceived by people who simply can’t deal with other people disagreeing with them?
Well, if that’s what you choose to believe…
max payne the movvie
I want Plinkett to pick his own movie to review. It’s part of his charm
Review the sextape of me and your mom. You excellent bastard you.
i want a pizza roll
I think that Mr.Plinkett should do a review of the Avengers movie. I can’t see how anyone can like this piece of shit. It is just explosion after explosion, with a villain who has no testicles. I would also like an explanation as to why nordic gods classify as marvel comic super-heroes, why iron man can never take any damage what so ever, and what is the current location of loki’s testicles?
Half in The Bag already reviewed the Avengers, and they liked it. Mike from Half in The Bag is Mr. Plinkett.
That is just shocking.
Or perhaps you’re just too cool to enjoy something everyone else did.
Here is your explanation. You don’t like Marvel Comics. Nothing Plinkett can say or do will fix that.
In response to you fuckstick, I like marvel comics just fine. I just tend to not like shitty movies.
OK well since your such a big fan of marvel comic then i don’t need to tell you that Thor is one of the oldest running comic books from Marvel Comics. So on that basis, some Nordic gods, at least, classify as marvel super heroes. Also since Thor is one of the original members of the Avengers, he is doubly so. They chose Loki as a villain because he is a classic villain but not so powerful that the sequel will have to be over the top. They are gradually building up to perhaps one day fight Thanos, like in Avengers III.
Now if you didn’t see how the action in avengers was clever, and made sense and helped tell a story, then too bad for you, i would need more then a few hundred letters to make my point. toobad.
It’s time for the Matrix, and here’s why: the absolute best part of the star wars breakdowns is that you helped me understand why I disliked those movies so much. I really couldn’t articulate why they were so bad before I watched your reviews. Now I love the Matrix movies (all of them) but even through all that love there is undeniably something horribly wrong about the sequels. But I can’t articulate what exactly. Help me to understand what went wrong! Please!
To call Reloaded a sequel is like calling The Two Towers a sequel. The Matrix was conceived and sold as a trilogy from the get go. It says it multiple times throughout The Matrix Revisited documentary. The only reason it wasn’t shot Lord of the Rings style was at the time no one had ever heard of the Wachowskis and so weren’t about to give them a $4oo million budget.
Reloaded is a sequel. The Matrix is a self-contained story. It’s actually so self-contained that they have to retcon his godlike powers out of existence in the second movie to try to have just a little bit of tension.
You may not have liked Reloaded or Revolutions and that’s ok. But the fact is they are not a sequels in the sense that most people think about. They didn’t make the first movie and *then* come up with the stories for two more movies. They thought of one story across three movies. Again, several people say it in The Matrix Revisited. The editor is actually quite emphatic about it.
I hate to tell you this, but people are capable of lying. Lying to your face too, but lying on screen? There is an entire global business built around that, so I wouldn’t worship what some dudes say in a “making of” special…
I thank you for having the courage to state the completely obvious. Why is this so far-fetched? The whole Oracle thing completely does not fit in until you watch Reloaded. Even Lucas had wanted to make 3 movies but thought he might only ever get to make one.
Lucas also claims he had treatments for 15 episodes before they ever shot anything, but do you honestly believe that?
hehe well played. I retract any reliance on anything Lucas says.
My final comment on this is I have presented different people stating that the three movies were written together but they were only allowed to make the first one until the money people saw it could turn a profit.
The only counters are statements that two separate people were lying with no evidence to support the claims. The burden of proof lies on you to prove they are lying.
I’m actually not trying to goad anyone, but I think you two want to believe both the exec producer and the editor lied because you think the first movie was awesome and 2nd two were cash grabs and you’d hate to think that two movies you hate were planned all along. This is really common human behavior and, again, I’m not attacking you. I have put forth evidence to support my claim and you have chosen not to believe it.
I re-read this and I have no idea what you are talking about when you say they had to “retcon his godlike powers out of existence.”
Ability to fly: present in Reloaded
Ability to see the matrix as code: present in Reloaded
Ability to reach into other entities: present in Reloaded
Ability to either see the near future or see another part of the matrix: only present in Reloaded
Ability to stop machines outside the matrix: only present in Reloaded.
Did I miss anything? What godlike powers did they retcon out of existence? Seems like they upped the ante to me.
Ghostbusters 2. Its easily the most heartbreaking sequel ever.
Plinkett, please do a review of Half in the Bag.
You know what? I don’t give a fuck what movie you review anymore. Just fucking review SOMETHING. Updates? Outtakes? Behind the Scenes? Animated Series? What the fuck is all that? ALL THAT MATTERS ARE THE FUCKING REVIEWS.
And don’t give me some half-assed shit where you just re-review a movie that you already reviewed because now it’s in 3D. If a movie is shit in 2 dimensions, it’s the same shit in 3 dimensions, except now the shit will look like its coming right at you.
I agree, honestly it doesn’t matter all that much what the movie is that you review, I’m sure it will be funny as hell, but there needs to be one done, and soon!
Did you actually take a look at the Phantom Menace 3D review? It’s literally the original review in red/blue anaglyph 3D. It’s not a re-review, just a simple gag. It’s not like they took time away from Half in the Bag or other Plinkett Reviews to make a new Episode 1 review.
please come back!
which one of you is mr. Plinket
Mike Stoklasa is the voice of Plinkett for the reviews, but Rich Evans plays Plinkett on screen.
I’d like to see a review of the “Day of the Dead” remake. The one with Ving Rhames and that chick from American Beauty. THAT is a shitty movie!
Your review of star trek into darkness is not even close to as good as any of your other reviews. Its So short too? .. Hmmm LAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Well, what didn’t get covered in the Half In The Bag review of it? Maybe you didn’t bother to make some button clicks to go ahead and watch it…I wonder if you’re LAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY….
Did your totally free entertainment provided as a labor of love by RLM fail to live up to your expectations? Do you only have free entertainment options? Is it because you are LAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Please review Terminator 3 and Salvation.
Like myself, those movies never happened. Go about your day citizen.
Let’s not stay long. Someone just started a thread about the Men In Black sequels over on The Escapist and the chief wants us to check it out.
MOAR AWESOME REVIEWS.
At 3:25: Ray Manzarek tells the listener that Hollywood’s “prevailing thought was Doris Day and Rock Hudson movies” and that he wanted to make movies like Fellini, Truffaut, Godard and other great filmmakers of his time (1965) and that there was no chance of doing that in Hollywood.
At 5:02: He says “Nobody wants artistic filmmakers from film school [...] they want Doris Day movies.”
It’s the same situation 48 years later.
How many times do people have to tell you to do the matrix trilogy before you cave, you knuckle-dragging, slack-jawed fuck?
p.s, tie me up in your basement and feed me pizza rolls.
I’m not sure why people are so adamant about the matrix trilogy or especially twilight: have you seen the plinkett reviews? The first ones were about sci fi franchises: star trek and star wars with a few smaller named films that served a certain purpose. But the creme de la creme was Plinket’s review of “Titanic”. See, Mr. Plinket always has a thematic point of either why humans like movies or why a certain highly anticipated movie didn’t work. The first Matrix was essentially universally appreciated. The next two explored complex and depressing philosophical themes and threw in wild action to keep the fan boys interested but failed to fully thresh out the complex metaphysical ideas. Twilight is balls period and there’s no reason to review it. I think he’d be more likely to review Harry Potter or the Jurassic Park movies just because the first came out when our generation was young. But even then I doubt he would… I’m not saying he wouldn’t do an excellent job, I’m saying: “what do you think he’d say that you don’t already know, based on his previous reviews, that would be different and profound about the Matrix or Terminator movies?” Plinket seems a bit more insightful than just lambasting films for the fun of it than using those…
Thank you for sharing your life story.
“I’m saying: “what do you think he’d say that you don’t already know,
based on his previous reviews, that would be different and profound
about the Matrix or Terminator movies?”"
Plinkett usually comes up with something new regardless of what movie he’s dissecting.
Your face is cunty.
My cunt is facey
My Creme is the creme de la creme, not any movie review.
A matrix review would be funny, and has plenty of opportunity for insightful comments and plinkett call backs – “I mean how much more could you possibly fuck up the entire Matrix Trilogy?” Smash cut to photo of Qui-Gon Jinn, “Oooh.”
I was thinking about the kinds of reviews Plinkett’s done, and they mostly seem to tie back to the big directors of the 80s, when Mike and Jay were probably in their 20s (And Plinkett in his 90s). The TNG films ruined his memories of the show in the 80s/early 90s, as well as the memories of the Original Series films in the 80s. Three of the biggest directors of the 80s were Lucas, Spielberg, and Cameron, but the reviews are usually over more recent films after they grew up (in spielberg’s case) or let their egos run wild (Lucas, Cameron). So I think a logical prediction would be a Ridley Scott or Martin Scorsese film. Plinkett refers to Prometheus a few times, and he mentioned how he thinks Leo DiCaprio ruined some of Scorsese’s more recent films, so I’d guess Prometheus, Gladiator, Shutter Island, or even the Departed.
There is no way they’re in their late forties dude.. that’s just harsh
Okay, when they were young and innocent teens, then.
It is time. Half in the Bag’s just not doing it for anyone – we can get 2 bros (Mike and Kyle?) chatting about films anywhere.
Animated stuff? No.
Behind the Scenes? No.
Outtakes? No. Just no.
The Plinkett reviews are the only reason the internet comes here.
You must ‘play to your strengths’. No more BS.
It is time.
Stop putting dicks in other people’s mouths! I mean words! I came here for the 70 minute Phantom Menace review, but I stay for Half in the Bag. Half in the Bag is awesome.
It cannot be. You must ‘wake up and smell the potato’, silly. Half in the Bag is a standard service one can find anywhere. Open you’re mind!
So you can find elaborate film discussions from the perspective of filmmakers wrapped around the format of a bad 80′s sitcom warped by surreal humor “anywhere?” Hm, I must have missed all those other shows.
Yes… I shall ‘open my mind’ by being dismissive… Wait, what?
Half in the bag’s not doing it for “anyone” eh? Speak for yourself, you whiny entitled dipshit.
On behalf of the rest of the internet and myself, thank you for speaking for us.
However, you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Its all good.
If you don’t like some of their output, that is fine, just leave the stuff you don’t want.
I speak for myself only, I believe the rest of the internet is currently masturbating or arguing while hiding behind witty nom de plumes (fuck or fight for the lonely).
I don’t really understand what a nom de plum is? Also, plz watch you’re language, kiddo!
Do the Transformers movies. They are so bad you can make a 90min video on just the first 20mins of the first movie.Still to this day I can’t fathom how you can fuck up a Transformers movie, but leave it to Michael Bay to do the impassable. But what really pisses me off about these shit fest is people saying “but I like them, they were so good”. No asshole they were not, they…Wait I just had an epiphany…These movie tend to make people IQ’s drop a few points, ah now i see why they like it cause it made them stupid. So please do it i’ll be happy to help if you need it. DO IT!!!
Transformers was always fucking stupid.
Correction: The original 3 or 4 series of Transformers were classic epics. Sadly, a lot of younger Transformers critics have never seen the original Transformers 1980s series.
The Michael Bay version is not the best, and we all know why, but ask yourselves this:
If no previous version of Transformers had ever existed, and Michael Bay had created the whole concept from scratch, just to make these recent movies, would everyone still HATE it?
The baby twinky dinky fuckity doo rescue bot version is for 3 yr olds. fair enough, it picks a target and hits it. and if you can read this, you are way older than the target audience.
The asian Transformers Armada version is a fucking soap opera.
I remember seeing a snippet where megatron felt conflicted about attacking something, and Starscream was all bitching about something someone said to hurt his feelings.
Transformers x Glee = Transformers Armada
I still think it’d get the same amount of hate. They have: terrible scripts, convoluted action, childish/racist humor, sexism, unlikable characters, inconsistent tone, a bloated run-time and unnecessarily gratuitous shots of Megan Fox. There’s plenty to hate and they really are (Revenge of the Fallen especially) that bad.
I remember you had a chronological order once, wanted to introduce Mr. Plinkett to a friend today … is that order anywhere?
Scroll down, it is there.
Review Star Wars into Sithness please.
I think the most obvious choice for the next review would be “Prometheus”, being a much-anticipated (sort of) prequel that was hotly anticipated but disappointed/ enraged just about everyone. After the Star Wars prequels and Abramsverse Trek, it seems a natural progression.
A Plinkett review of Starcrash would make my blood cells cum all over my TV.
I see your point. Alien 3 is officially much better than Alien Resurrection, but Alien 3 may have let some people down.
Alien 3 may not be as good as the first 2, but it was Fincher’s first real film. It was also plagued with studio problems, before and during Fincher’s involvement (another classic case of studio meddling). There was also some weak motion-capture effects that should not have been tried. All said, I’d say the movie turned out pretty well given these factors. At least Alien 3 had a distinctive style and a bold approach mixed with a back-to-basics concept.
Resurrection is crap. I mean crap. It’s painful. The camera angles are comedic and immature (reminds me of Batman Forever). The script seems like it was written by a 10-yr-old. Sigourney Weaver’s character was traded in for an empty shell with no real connection to the Ripley we knew. Anytime I try to give that film another change, my brain starts hurting and I have to stop the movie.
Actually I think I’m gonna re-watch Resurrection to see if what I typed above is or is not a bunch of shit.
If you think The 13th warrior was a bad film you are a dumb bitch.
Plinkett. M. Night Shyamalan. And except for The 6th sense and Unbreakable you can take your pick of his movies.
I’d love to see Plinkett do a review of Signs
I’d love to see Plinkett do a review
I think they should do Plinkett reviews of every Shyamalan movie. Then you’d have a new specialized series like Star Wars and Star Trek. Shyamalan…
Where’s are X9? It’s been nine years for christ’s sake.
He can have his pick anyway. He’s Plinkett. He can review whatever the hell he wants. And we will thank him for it.
because if you hadn’t made that clear, we would have thought that he was waiting for us to tell him what to do
Dear Mr. Plinkett. I am a fan of your work. Thank you.
C’Mon Mike . err PLinkett. We need new stuff. I swear I will donate.
Plinkett! Please never ever review anything ever again.
Your Plinkett reviews were funny, but the novelty has worn off, so stick with the Half-Bag thing. Plus Half-Bags easier to do because waffling roaming thoughts into a camera is quicker than weaving together insightful analysis and humour.
That means with Half-Bag you can output a larger quantity of material. Therefore, more ad-click hits/impressions, and you get to ‘live on the edge’ by gambling on the hope that people won’t become saturated by it all.
Please Plinkett, ignore this troll.
wait a minute…I think I see what this guy who has some brain is saying. I think he is being …”sarcastic” Maybe he is not a “troll” at all! maybe he is a true Plinkett fan who is not satisfied with the mediocrity of half in the bag. Perhaps His brain has a hunger for the true genius of the Great MR. PLINKETT!
Or maybe he’s just a troll who thinks he’s Santa Claus…I’m a drunk who thinks he’s Uncle Buck.
YOU WERE RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!
NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON YOUR GUT INSTINCTS!
I CAPS LOCK BECAUSE ITS DECEMBER ALREADY AND I GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO!
I thought the Prequels were the most dissapointing thing I ever saw. That was of course before peeking at the comments below. How much more whiny can most of you get? This site is one of the most unique and entertaining places on the internet, stop making light of all their work and enthusiasm by demanding they review this or that in the format that suits you personally the best. I do not think that the guys (and gals) avoid any criticism, but it sure would be nice to see generally less bitchiness around here.
“stfu u loozr
i got rites to say wat i want even my mom dont dare backtalk me cos im da boss yo”
hold on a minute i need to go take a dump
More Mr. Plinkett please!
I think they really should do Man of Steel. I think that movie is bagging for a review. Its like the Phantom Menace of Super-Hero Movies.
Prometheus is the Phantom Menace of Alien movies. I think that one deserves it the most.
I got caught taking a dump in a supermarket aisle and the judge is making me do 30 days in a minimum security facility that only has TV – No internet.
I don’t want to miss any new Plinkett reviews, so please do me a favor: Don’t release any new Plinkett reviews until 31 days from today.
Okay, I’m back; Thanks for holding out.
So, Plinkett, where’s the new review?!
I thought Alien 3 was fucking awesome.
When you get into a detailed discussion with most people that say they hated Alien 3, it becomes apparent that they hated it only because they expected more of Aliens (the second Alien movie).
In fact, Alien 3 was more faithful to the suspense-thriller-horror style of the original Alien movie. Aliens diverted to suspense-action, which is not bad. In fact, Aliens was my favorite of the entire series.
Alien: Resurrection… Hmmm… I feel a lot of people slam it because it takes on a more ‘cartoony’ style. Yes, I also hated it.
However, to be fair, if the original three movies had never existed and somehow they had decided to make Alien: Resurrection, I probably wouldn’t have minded it too much. It was still less crap than a lot of other movies out there.
But what about Plinkett reviews?
Well… I don’t think there’s anything particularly special about them that deserve a Plinkett review. Every Plinkett review makes a point, with as shitloads of good sub-points. Alien: Resurrection would just be Plinkett saying what sucks and why, which makes for a bland review.
With the satirical exception of Baby’s Day Out, every other Plinkett review shows us the as much about the attitude of the filmmakers as the movies themselves, and how often the movie’s are extensions of the filmmakers. Linking the observations to the filmmakers’ ideas and intentions brings the Plinkett reviews to a higher level. I think most people son’t realize that ‘Plinkett Quality’.
I decide to write a pointless reply to the oldest comment on this page.
I wish Plinkett busted on Cameron more during the Titanic review. He says it’s one of his “favorite movies of all time,” and his analysis isn’t nearly as scathing as Plinkett reviews tend to be.
Personally, I care for the movie.
Why isn’t the commentary track for Star Trek V on this page? Wait, that happened, right? It wasn’t just a fever dream? My brain kind of goes into a tail spin every time I try to watch that movie, even with a Plinkett commentary there to mitigate the pain.
Also, I love your reviews. I listen to them all the time at work. For some reason, they never get old.
I love Half In The Bag, or any clip of Rich Evans falling down. Do I love it as much as the Plinkett reviews? Not even close.
Wow, a day after my comment and the oversight is fixed. Awesome web administration. Also Mike, ignore these fools demanding a new Plinkett review every other week. It’s clear that these reviews:
1) Take a lot of time and effort, and
2) Are awesome because they revolve around filmmakers and franchises that you are passionate about. I’d rather the Plinkett review series end where they are, at the height of their incisive depth and as a labor of love, rather than becoming a soulless, sell-out, mechanical process of anal-sis and nitpicking about one movie after another that you couldn’t give a shit less about to please the popcorn-eating masses.
That said, you need to get the Indiana Jones IV and Titanic reviews on your youtuibe channel, so I can listen to them at work. Or optimize your site to work on mobile devices, whichever is cheaper/easier.
I think there is at least room for one more commentary track, namely The Empire Strikes Back. It’s a movie Mike loves and the track would enhance the experience of the movie just like the track for Star Wars does.
That’s very true. I would love to see one for a film like ‘Aliens’ as well. But the commentary tracks ain’t no Plinkett review.
True but I figured that Mike won’t do a full Plinkett of Empire since he said that the OT doesn’t need to be reviewed. It’s possible that he was asked during a panel if he’s going to review the OT and his laconic answer was “no”.
You tell those fools! They need to understand that the Plinkett reviews are not about pleasing the viewers, but rather a way for Mike to express his love and passion for some of his favorite films such as “Baby’s Day Out”, and “Cop Dog”.
That said, Mike should have much more time to optimize the site to work on your mobile device so you can listen to the Indiana Jones IV and Titanic reviews over and over again at work.
At least Maddox has come back to us in a fashion that is, in my opinion, superior.
Plinkett reviews are Mike’s passion project.He’s just not gonna do an hour+ long in depth review of a movie he doesn’t care about.With that said I do miss these reviews greatly myself.As enjoyable as Half in The Bag and Best of The Worst is the balance of depth and humor Plinkett provides is second to none.
What do you call Baby’s Day Out? I seriously doubt he was passionate about that.
I honestly think that it was a reflection of his fascination by shitty movies and he wanted to try out some format for it – before BotW existed. OR he was getting fed up with all the suggestions and he decided to do something absolutely nobody would guess or want..And it was still glorious.
That was part of the Star Wars reviews storyline.
It’s Cop Dog that’s the odd one out. It had no lead in at all. (But it did set up the Indiana Jones review….)
Hey Dr.Zoidberg! Cut the Crap and make another funny review already.
Guys, if we don’t get another Plinkett review soon I’m gonna want my pizza roll back… Really though, I expect one for Star Wars Ep.VII
Keep in mind that they’re also working on Space Cop, so their time is thinner than you’d think.
Really wishing I had more commentary tracks to listen to. The first three are hilarious and worth listening to even without watching the accompanying movie. Must be easier to make than the videos, too. During some down time, I suggest reviewing Star Trek 1-4 and 6 in this format. Even if you like some of those films, your commentary is always amusing. You could even do a few filling in the background on how Plinkett got out of prison after the climax of The Phantom Menace Review, kind of a Plinkett is bored in his cell and the only thing semi-interesting to watch from the prison library are old vhs tapes of the original Star Trek films. He could watch with other crazy serial killers as guest commentators.
The vast majority of people that come to this web zone do so because they want more Plinkett.
Very few people give a flying monkey’s ass about Half in the Bag, Space Cops, Dick Wavers, or any of that other stuff. Don’t me wrong, it’s all very okay, but not great like the Plinkett reviews.
Is there a personal set of motives behind this? Do you hate making Plinkett reviews? Are you afraid of leaving behind your collegues, as the Plinkett reviews are essentially a solo effort (at least in terms of narrative screentime)?
See you in 2015 so I can come back and then type the same shit again.
Dammit Mike! Don’t you see what you are doing here? When a drunken Santa Claws comes to this site weekly to see if you have made a new review, it means he has a hole that only YOU can fill. Not even Mrs.Claws can fill his giant hole! I too have a giant hole that I need you to fill again and again. I understand you are providing your services to so many people who are Half in the Bag, fans, but I really need some Plinkett right now. If your latest Half in the Bag episodes are implying that Mr Plinkett is dead…DICK YOU! I guess if I want to hear a drunk ass rant on for hours once a week, I’m going to have to go back to AA
This guy has the right idea.
Hey Plinkett, if you don’t quite feel up to all the mixing and production required to make a full review just yet, how about a commentary track for Return of the Jedi in the meantime? (Obviously the edition with the gungans / goongas digitally inserted in.)
Fuck you and your promo.
Haha, what a clueless gimp you are. I love the insternets!!!!!!!
I had clues but I spent them all adding a +10 Charm stat buff to my Level 18 Mithril Scaled Leather Pants.
This discussion thread about Plinkett not making any new reviews is better than Half in the Bag.
Skip past the shit in the bag to 0:25.
thanks for that. it’s nice to see they at least know that they’re taking fucking forever to make the plinkett reviews.
after a little mental arithmetic, and looking at page hits (?), they will come to the conclusion that “oh fuck, the plinkett reviews have 10x more views than anything else” or something like that.
bah… humgbug… arf and yarf
the next plinkett review is coming long and hard. geddit?
We miss you. I would pay a yearly subscription for your reviews.
No pressure Mike.
Can’t wait for a new Plinkett review. Love ‘Half in the Bag’, ‘Best of the Worst’ and the commentary tracks too.
Thanks for making all of this stuff available without having to pay for it. Most sites just beg for cash upfront for their cheap, exploitative content whereas you lot produce stuff actually worth watching. Cheers.
That would be cool, but I think it should be saved for something more tangible, like a trailer or even after it comes out. It’s only a little over a year away.
It’s “Aliens”, but keep it a secret..
What is “Aliens”? I want in on the secret.
I regret coming to this comment section. I had no idea it was such a mess.
This comment section is better than any Half a Shit in the Bag video.
Do you like Transformers?
I remember when the Phantom Menace review exploded. Famous people commenting on it. Talking about it with my friends, showing them, receiving the same recommendations from others. I wonder if any episode of Half in the Bag has done so well, or inspired such passion? Maybe this is all some sort of meta Andy Kaufman style humor? Maybe it’s a further commentary on George Lucas and his career — starting with something incredible and beloved by the masses, only to descend into personal projects that increasingly alienate the fan base? Maybe Half in the Bag is RLM’s Red Tails.
Well, I kinda like their other stuff too, so sucks for you, but whatever, I’m happy.
As I said before, I’m expecting a Ridley Scott, Martin Scorsese, or
James Cameron movie to be the next Plinkett review, but I think a review
of Superman Returns would be interesting. You’d think it would be good,
since they had Bryan Singer directing, but it ended up not very well
received. Plinkett could talk about why it works, why it doesn’t, why did people not like it, and maybe how it compares with Man of Steel.
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