Nerd Crew Episode 4: The Last Jedi Trailer Breakdown and Analysis!

April 17, 2017215 Comments

OMFG! The Nerd Crew is back to analyze every single frame from the new Star Wars trailer to look for any minuscule clue as to what might happen in a film they will eventually see.

Filed in: Short Films

  • TrollPrince: Insurgency

    I guess I won’t be committing suicide today… YIPPPEEE!

  • Jon

    COFFINS FOR NERDS!!!! XD

  • Daniel Huete

    IT’S FINALLY HERE

  • jimmy

    Hey.. doesn’t anyone recall the RLM video where they mention, and briefly show, some Christian video from the 70s that was spouting against rock music? Thanks!

  • stryker1121

    Some kind of eternal loot crate is actually a pretty good idea. Patent that isht, fellas!

  • Very cool.
    Very cool.
    Very cool.
    Very cool.

  • Bleurgh

    This video could have been nothing but Mike saying VERY COOL and the three of them fake laughing and it would have been worth the price of admission.

  • Brian Levine

    “F U, Stooklasa!”
    – Stan Lee

  • Is this replacing Rich fucking droids?..

  • Jingo

    Remember everybody, as long as you’re hyper ironic about it, you’re not whoring out to the same buzz everybody else is.

    (Love you guys, but you’re so much better than this series.)

  • TrollPrince: Insurgency

    Do you feel insecure because they are mocking someone you know? Perhaps someone like yourself?

  • Jingo

    Obviously, because the only reason anybody would ever criticize something is if they had a personal stake in it and were offended. That keeps everything really simple and easy to understand.

  • Andrew Carter

    Nerdcoffin is for peasants! I have Geektomb(tm), a 15,000 sq ft 5-story pyramid-shaped crypt complete with decked out living room, wet bar, and laser-guarded display cases for all my Loot Crate merchandise. Now my desiccated corpse can enjoy Zak Snyder movies, Naughty Dog console games, and Collider/IGN Youtube videos for centuries to come. I CAN (and will) take it with me!!!

  • andychrist

    joo janta 200 star wars spoiler sensitive sunglasses

  • Andy James

    I’m not sure you understand the point of satire.

  • TrollPrince: Insurgency

    Usually. Nerd Coffins is funny.

    So is not talking about the trailer at all.

    Kind of like how the trailer doesn’t show anything about the movie.

    Now that is podcasting!

  • Endless Trash

    LIGHTSABER.

  • Jingo

    It’s lazy satire. They know they can rack up twice as many views by pandering to a crowd just as obnoxious as the one they’re making fun of.

    I come here to watch a bunch of cool dudes hanging out and talking about/watching movies, not stroking themselves and their viewers about how much smarter they are than a bunch of other hacks.

  • Xor

    ENDLESS TRASSSHHHH

  • goodmatt10 1

    I’m not trying to just be a cynical A-hole or anything, but is there anyone else who has just completely lost interest in “Star Wars” at this point?

  • Andy James

    This may sound like a crazy idea, but you can ignore the videos of theirs you don’t want to watch. I know! I was skeptical at first, too!

  • goodmatt10 1

    Those videos take a long time to make, so I find this to be a pretty good “tide over” in between.

  • HG

    I love how Mike is trying really hard to act as if he isn’t excited about this new movie.

    Give up you hack fraud, we all know you had an erection while watching that teaser.

  • HG

    You can say that again.

  • Jingo

    Oh stop that. Comments aren’t just for patting their ass, and I think they’d agree.

  • HG

    Except their shitty ironic act will only last until the Last Jedi comes out. Then Mike and crew will start gushing out about how fantastic Last Jedi is.

    Their cynicism here is bullshit. And you all know it.

  • Xor

    Those idiots are definitely not watching this.

  • Andy James

    Like how they gushed over Rogue One? Rich didn’t even think Episode VII was all that great.

  • Xor

    The korean one?

  • frankelee

    I was fascinated by the veracity of this claim, but checking with Youtube I see these videos get comparable numbers to all the other types of videos they make. No one but us wants to see these self-indulgent, hackfraud fatties pretend to almost start talking about Star Wars. These claims are all bizarre bullshit, much like Mike’s claims not to be an alcoholic and Rich’s claims to be an anal virgin.

  • TrollPrince: Insurgency

    The Pharaohs were just fanbois of Extraterrestrials. Wake up, Sheeple!

  • Adez

    I slowly just don’t care about blockbusters, In appreciate the deconstruction of commercialized nerd schlock, and never buy that nerdbox crap

    Do Rich have diabetes, or that’s just a gag

  • john smith

    things got a little dark here…are Disney really no different than Phillip Morris?

  • TrollPrince: Insurgency

    There is a vast chasm between liking the movie and doing what those cynical POS fucks over at Collider do.

    Check out Film Gob on YouTube for comparison videos.

    It’s really some revolting shit.

    And I think they will come around on TFA.

  • I’m hopeful for the side “Story” films but the big tentpoles will all probably be market researched rubbish.

  • Jingo

    Star Wars, not the Nerd Crew stuff.

    Half of the videos (Star Wars related) top out at the average half-million, another half is 50-100% more. Like the Rogue One review, they take a chance in getting a huge boost in views when they do something Star Wars related, especially if it’s controversial with fans. I don’t think it’s purely cynical or anything, I just think it’s ridiculous to be so condescending about those types of people when they’re riding the same train.

    Just to clarify, I could care less about Star Wars. Awakening was pretty decent, Rogue One was alright, and the trailer for Last Jedi was made up of nothing but goofy trailer-made shots, and anything “nerd culture” is fucking insufferable. That doesn’t make what they’re doing any less stupid, though.

  • TrollPrince: Insurgency

    I’m actively in jihad against it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    so special to see the dudebros active once again

  • Nathan Ellis

    Isn’t this just directed towards collider and ign? People who are getting all this loot crate stuff for free to advertise and most likely see free screenings of these films, and they’re convincing the audience to waste their money on cheap stickers and figures. They might really like Last Jedi. But don’t have to indulge in the morally bankrupt act of tricking their viewers.

  • Jingo

    Of course they’re shallow and sleazy, but what’s more productive, running that joke into the ground or moving on? I’m sick of the nerd culture crap, but I’m also sick of people flattering themselves because they’re not as stupid as other people.

  • jimmy

    No. It was an american one about a kid at school that was trying to figure out if rock music was ok to listen to being a chirstian. It was a very brief clip that RLM showed during another recent video. I found the full christian video on youtube and loved watching it. I recently thought about it and am trying to find it again.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Doesn’t ring a bell. Maybe if you can narrow down to which show it was on.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Yes. Rich has diabetes, Jay is gay, and Mike is an abusive alcoholic.

  • But the trailer is vague and uninspired.

  • Joe Syxpac

    If you did I know where we could get the perfect coffin for you.

  • jimmy

    Found it! It was during The Gate – re:View. The name of the video they had a short clip of is “Rock:Its Your Decision” (I love how that’s titled, btw.. “Its YOUR decision, but if you choose to enjoy rock, you choose wrong!”. I also found it on youtube as “rock, its your choice”. Its awesome!

  • Lord_Nose

    The movie and the culture around it are two separate things. You can like one but not the other.

  • frankelee

    Well, it is true that their Star Wars content gets a lot of views. But on the other hand, they’re making fun of douches for making bad content, and I think I split with you there in thinking that’s okay. And I mean, this all exists only because of Mike’s 10 hour long series nitpicking Star Wars, so I don’t think you’ll ever be able to separate them from excessive Star Wars coverage. Over-doing it or not, they got it honest.

  • frankelee

    And after leaving my comment, I suddenly think I understand what you’re saying, and I think you’ve misunderstood their intentions. I wasn’t in the Cheetos pantry when they came up with the idea, but I think what happened was they watched one of these lame new geek-culture shows, thought it sucked, and decided to parody it to make fun of how much it sucked. I recognized what they were doing in the first episode: the shitty NPR sound-alike intros by people who don’t know what they’re doing, but are still pretentious about it. The idiotic sponsorships for crap. The beyond fake attitudes. The kiss-ass relationships they have with the companies whose tit they suckle off of. The phony excitement over shit like a movie trailer. I think it’s these sorts of things that are getting lampooned more than just commercial nerdism.

  • frankelee

    About halfway through Force Awakens I realized I could give a shit.

  • Jingo

    Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’d rather watch this than all of the incestuous shit they’re making fun of, and any other day I wouldn’t be hard on them at all for the Star Wars thing, because the Plinkett fame etc. It’s just that something that would have worked better as a one-off joke is just getting stretched out way too much, and the topper with this one being that the really abrasive ironic shtick is supposed to be making fun of the same Last Jedi buzz they’re benefiting from, even if it’s in a backwards way.

    I know they’re just having fun, it’s only the way they’re doing it is in a way I don’t think we need more of.

  • bernverdnardo

    It might have been cool for early 80’s sensibilities (I never liked it), but at this point all it has to offer is nostalgia.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    And? Don’t leave us hanging in suspense! Who was the lucky recipient?

  • D.F.A.

    Okay, you’ve ran your point in to the ground already. Take a page out of your own playbook and quit while you’re ahead.

  • Chowderbatter

    I’ve been waiting DAYS for the Nerd Crew to tell me what to think about the new teaser-trailer-trailer-teaser-teaser-promo-teaser.

    Thanks!

  • Jerome Gorden

    Yes.

  • andychrist

    taking the piss out of people who are basically paid in money ,goods and services to be nice about things and the QVC/ impulse buying network type of presentation they employ is good , the sooner the bubble bursts on this type of hard sell (and thats what it is , ign /collider and the like are NOT review shows any more but adverts)the better , anyway im off to get me a nerd bag – the budget burial option – 100%polyester bodybag printed in the nerd culture icon of your choice , for an extra 10 quid you can have the design on both the inside and the outside , easier to store than nerd coffin until it needs to be used and lighter so your weak and unhealthy nerd friends can bear you to your final resting place . (although todays “nerd” seems surprisingly buff , strong , healthy and has very expensive teeth)

  • wiggle

    I’m looking forward to it. A lot of the fuss around them is annoying and uninteresting, of course, but it’s the films that count and I loved The Force Awakens. I didn’t love Rogue One as much but I didn’t dislike it, either.

    I mean, Star Wars was never meant to be high art. If you’re criticising the films for being overly market-researched, that’s fine – if you’re arguing in favour of watching Truffaut or Fellini.

    But if you’re just arguing in favour of watching other popular films of the moment then I don’t really see the point. They’re all like that.

  • Bleurgh

    I’m still holding out hope for a new star wars film with a good original story. This might be that maybe. I mean, it doesn’t seem like an exact ripoff of Empire. If the whole movie is just about Rey and Luke and how their relationship evolves over the course of her training that could be interesting, right? Maybe with some revelations about who Snoke is sprinkled in.

    If it all builds up to another battle over another death-star or if it ends up being a retread of Empire I am done.

  • Bleurgh

    We get it, you subscribed to Nerdbox and feel dumb now. Get over it.

  • Bleurgh

    I don’t need a Nerd Coffin, when I die I will be cremated and then my ashes will be swept into the same landfill they use for excess Funko-Pop figurines.

  • SUPERMAD

    I’ve watched the trailer in its entirety just once. I’m not even really disappointed. I just feel very little.

  • SUPERMAD

    “a bunch of cool dudes” ?

  • SUPERMAD

    My only “complaint” about this series is that I – for one – don’t ever and would never watch any of those fucking Collider videos, so even while I get and appreciate the satire here, it doesn’t strike any deep, therapeutic chord. I enjoyed their one episode of NERD TALK much more than these.

  • I don’t think I ever had much interest in Star Wars to begin with, so I don’t see anything cynical in that statement. I mean I like the originals as films and admire their significance in the history of cinema – as a franchise I just couldn’t give a fuck.

  • LameSame

    Let’s not forget that Jack is a sociopath.

  • Sans_Fi

    Happened the same to me too. I mean, I always knew Disney’s Star Wars movies were going to be safe and acceptable. And while I was interested in The Force Awakens I was not extremelly hyped about it.

    But there was a moment while watching Force Awakens that my interest in the franchise fell down. I think it was when Rey was climbing around a shaft inside Starkiller Base. I had already guessed what was going to happen to Han Solo and by this point the movie didn’t have any stakes. They crash on the planet without any consequence, they get rid of Phasma without any excitement, Rey learns about the force without any challenge… The characters themselves make fun of the stakes (It’s just bigger, how do we blow it up?).

    I did like the characters at the begining of the movie, but at that point the movie went through a route I couldn’t care less.

  • Endless Trash

    I mean Jesus Christ it’s only been 40 years.

  • nardman

    If that’s your conclusion, then don’t watch The Nerd Crew eps…Unless you enjoy patting yourself on the back for being over TWO THINGS.

  • Jingo

    “If you don’t like it don’t watch it.”
    “You’re just mad because you —-”
    “Have you ever heard of —-?”

    Any other dumbass stock responses I forgot? Just want to save other people the trouble.

    (Try quoting something I wrote. That’ll be funny.)

  • spitballer

    I can’t watch this now and take it at face value. My brain can’t comprehend that this is not sarcastic. It’s so over the top.

  • RiverDevil

    Netflix accuses its users of watching 500 million hours of Adam Sandler films
    (google the Verge link, direct link awaiting moderation)

  • Joe Ottoson

    You’re missing out. I will be rendered down and MADE INTO Funko-Pop figurines. Just like they plan to do with George Lucas.

  • Joe Ottoson

    That was apparent just by his hatred of Sonic The Hedgemon.

  • RLMkeepitup

    wow, I can totally see it. theres something pretentious about how media obsessed these people really are

  • LameSame

    Yeah that’s some sick shit.

  • Like Icare

    Phillip Morris doesn’t sell to children.

    They’d like to though…

  • Like Icare

    I kinda lost it a few points ago.
    Was very much surprised that Rogue One was kinda watchable.
    Mostly thanks to all the ISIS subtext and everyone dying in a Disney moopie.

  • Like Icare

    That’s why you won’t get to go to the Force Ghost party when you die.
    They all glow there, you know? They GLOW!

  • Like Icare

    Eventually the joke must come out in China. THEN the real joke starts.

  • Like Icare

    Nerd Coffin is also kind of a real thing.
    A company called Eternal Image was supposedly offering Star Trek themed coffins and urns for a while.
    But then they went bankrupt.

  • Leo_Silva.

    Star wars is more like those candies you used to like. You still eat them but you’re kind of sick of them. And you can’t just stop eating them because it’s more like a routine now.

  • Obanye Kanama

    Wish it was a review of the trailer and not a 7 min nerd corporate culture bash. Kinda played out that theme.

  • Joe Syxpac

    The trailer was very cool.

  • Bleurgh

    Well we’re both ending up in the landfill eventually. I’ll just be there sooner.

  • Brian Levine

    Why is Rich Evans on that panel (sitting behind the laptop)?

  • “Down here… WE ALL GLOW.” No thanks, Pennywise.

  • Brian Levine

    Can you imagine first seeing the trailer from inside your nerd coffin? Very cool.

  • MonkeyKing1969

    Pffft, GreekTomb is for plebs. My mausoleum was designed and outfitted by Will Wheaton. He hands picked the fabric swatches and the coffin is strictly limited edition..there are only 10,000 like it!

  • RLMkeepitup

    national tragedy or passtime, i’ll let you decide

  • Andy James

    Me too. If there’s one thing the internet needs more of, it’s reviews of trailers for blockbuster movies. I can’t get enough of ’em. What might we speculate about based upon this collection of images? Will Rey train with Luke? Is the new planet we see Corgoran? Did I see an image of Poe and Finn fucking, or is this another waking dream? Tell us what to expect, oh ye internet prophets!

  • Joe Syxpac

    I did! I’ve been beta testing the nerd coffin for the last 8 months!

  • Dan

    very cool

  • Spoiled Ants

    There was an actual Ren&Stimpy epsiode where they went to a funeral director to buy a similar kind of coffin for cheap money.

  • john smith

    So…worse then??

  • Red Skeleton

    Very cool?
    More like… very dumb!

  • bernverdnardo

    I read a review on Collider once and it was like it was written by a 6 year old raised by a hack poli-sci professor. The videos have to be intolerable.

  • Ofelas

    Yeah weird who uses the internet and humor to bash corporate culture?

  • Oil Can

    Do the Nerd Glass block pathetic stares nerds receive in public?

  • Chowderbatter

    You know what “very cool” rhymes with?

    “Stay in school.”

    Makes you think.

  • Chowderbatter

    Do the nerd glasses put a neckbeard on everyone?

  • Chowderbatter

    The entire point of this very funny RLM feature is that there are far, far, far, far too many reviews of similar films. Are you really that hard up to find another ten or ten thousand reviews of the Jedi trailer?

  • Chowderbatter

    I watched a few minutes of that video which is, I think, several lifetimes more than I will ever need to see of Collider or whatever those knob-polishing media groupies call themselves.

    My big takeaway is that a grown man was so traumatized by bullying over a fawking t-shirt in 1983 that he is still seeking catharsis in 2017 by watching a kid’s show movie teaser.

    I mean I had a tough childhood too with punches thrown, bullying, and all the other schoolyard BS, but at some point you have to grow a pair and move on.

  • Rich has said it’s not specifically directed at anything, it’s more of a generalized critique of those types of shows.

  • Rich has said it’s not specifically directed at anything, it’s more of a generalized critique of those types of shows.

  • Mugato

    Wow are they obnoxious.

  • Omis

    I’m calling bs on that number. Netflix never releases the numbers of their shows, but they will for Sandler movies? And they use number of hours watched? How many subscribers are watching his movies? Seems like they are trying to make it look more popular than it is.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Disney was a heavy smoker and died of lung cancer

  • But why would you want to watch an actual review of a trailer? It’s two minutes of effervescent nothing. And I’m pretty sure the last 20-30 seconds are just the red logo zooming into the screen. In fact I guess you could technically say someone’s “review” of a trailer is covered in a “reaction video”, a type of entity I particularly loathe.

  • john smith

    Yeah pretty interesting fact. A chain smoker no less and he banned portraying smoking in his films and never smoked when in the limelight.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Shout out to the Milwaukee Bucks and their win against the Raptors! RLM hometown team getting it done!

  • wiggle

    Film Gob on YouTube has been mixing The Nerd Crew with Collider and others. It’s great – and unsettling – to see the parody alongside what’s being parodied.

  • Louis Muhawij

    Very cool.

  • jic1

    I don’t know about “completely lost interest”, but I stumbled upon a display of *Rogue One* DVDs the other day, and realized that I didn’t even slightly want to buy one. I’m sort of interested in *The Last Jedi*, if only to see if Rey becomes an actual character.

  • jic1

    I don’t know about “completely lost interest”, but I stumbled upon a display of *Rogue One* DVDs the other day, and realized that I didn’t even slightly want to buy one. I’m sort of interested in *The Last Jedi*, if only to see if Rey becomes an actual character.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Man I almost missed this one! I was out Marching for Science! Next week I’ll be Eating Cornbread to Fight Child Prostitution, and the week after that I’ll be Dry Humping Furbies for Religous Tolerance!

  • An army of raptors fought an army of bucks? I miss all the good stuff.

  • Nice you gotem good

  • MostlyPonies

    Very cool.

  • MostlyPonies

    I think of it more as a fun side project. They still make reviews and stuff, but they also have this Nerd Crew series as a parody for fun. I doubt they’d prioritize Nerd Crew videos over their main ones.

  • Like Icare

    In the remake they’ll call him Poundstupid.
    Inflation and all that…

  • Like Icare

    Until they give you diabeetus.

  • Wolvy

    RIP Erin Moran, Joanie from “Happy Days”. The Curse of the Worst claims another innocent young celebrity life.

  • Like Icare

    Well it HAS become culturally acceptable to demand from strangers around you not to smoke in your presence cause it hurts your lungs, without expecting to be punched in the face or called “a Hitler”.
    Asking people indulging in Disney around you to stop doing that cause it hurts your brain might get you screamed at and called “a Hitler”.

    So yes. Disney is worse than smoking. Possibly worse than Hitler too.

  • Like Icare

    Bucks Bunny would be a good name for a bank robber dressed as an Easter Bunny.

    “My name is Bucks Bunny! Raise your hands and give me all your money!”

    With correct planning he could get away with only robbing banks during Easter and Halloween. Then disappearing by blending into the crowd.

  • Like Icare

    Looking up one of those explains SO MUCH about that “Superman Lives” documentary and why is Jon Schlep… Schnepp such a cunt in it.

    I honestly didn’t know he was one of the Collider Cunts.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Me personally …
    **detaches jaw like python, slurps on Big Gulp**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Is the humping halal? Asking for a friend.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    By raptors, you mean Breitbart commenters? Oh wait, I’m confusing raptors with another word that sounds similar.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Only if you’re an optimist, since the nerd glasses will be half full.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I enjoy the YouTube channel Millennials React to the Zapruder Film.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Brought to you by GeekCrate!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    My nerd coffin would have imagery from Waterworld on it, because I’m hip to the kids and so forth.
    **does awkward Macarena dance**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    So you’re saying it would be better of Collider collided with a bus? I’m down with that. Where’s the Kickstarter for that?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Does the knob they are polishing have a Darth Vader head on it?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    One company makes products that damage the insides of human beings, creating irreparable harm and a lifetime of health issues. The other one is a cigarette company.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “But I luff ze Mickey Mouse mit his steamboat!” — Adolf Hitler*

    *Actual fanboy of Mickey Mouse.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    And Josh is a humorless killjoy.

  • Like Icare

    Only if an imam prays over the act.
    Basically, it’s the same thing as with stuff being kosher.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    As a Mormon Scientologist, I find your explanation confusing yet oddly arousing.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    One of us … one of us … I mean … very cool.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Star whatnow?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    You need to stop putting Vicodin in your iced tea.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    **Mike, Rich, and Jay laughing**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Nothing can top my DorkSarcophagus! It is made of real Italian marble and has statues made to look like characters from Stranger Things.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Ewoks can’t melt steel beams!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Fight the Man and his corporate minions!
    **drinks from RLM-branded pint glass**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The only thing that should be directed at Collider is a bazooka.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Hence why Breitbart exists.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Breakdown? I’ll tell you whats broken down and thats the government my man for letting Jedi rub their testicles up and down my thigh while saluting the flag with the hand that Obama lop off while in Tahiti saving Private Ryan. The last Jedi’s my right dick and B=========D

  • Spoiled Ants

    Hot damn, you were right, there is an image of Finn and Poe fucking. If you blink, you’ll miss it. Now, if R2D2 and C3PO end up as pleasure droids in Endor, Mike will finally get his wish for more romance in the Star Wars films.

  • Spoiled Ants

    It’s actually a Kickstarter from Nerd Coffin…..hm.

  • Spoiled Ants

    How did you come to this conclusion? Because I didn’t see that table being tilted.

  • Wolvy

    Are these the same Milwaukee Bucks that were rioting in the streets last summer?

  • Gallen Dugall

    And they swapped out the real sugar and natural flavors for some kind of cheap substitute flavoring and sweeteners while reducing serving size and making the packaging bigger and more fancy.

  • endeyequote

    These videos are funny, the sarcasm is great and all, but you know I also really respect their opinions on movies, especially Star Wars, and whether they make it funny or not, it’d be nice to see something a little more straight forward like half in the bag.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Rich has fixed the wheel of the worst, but we’re def overdue for a hitb episode. aka let’s talk about real movies !

  • Like Icare

    What real movies?

  • RLMkeepitup

    i know there really aren’t any. netflix must be loving all this

  • Like Icare

    April is the new Fuck You It’s January.

  • NoLookPass

    Brilliant as always. Keep these coming.

  • Chowderbatter

    REQUEST: I’d like to see the Nerd Crew breakdown and analyze Half in the Bag.

    It would be very cool, very cool. Very cool. Very cool.

  • Chowderbatter

    And then the Scientist Man should breakdown and analyze that breakdown and analysis.

  • Chowderbatter

    And then the universe should fold in upon itself inside a snowglobe dropped from the hand of a dying Plinkett who mouthes “pizza roll.”

  • Endless Trash

    probably not until Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2.

  • RLMkeepitup

    next week?? better stock up on my tuna until then

  • Paul

    OK, following points:

    1. Obviously Star Trac fans. This is menacing but i don’t know why.
    2. I know this as I had (have) an older brother who is as cynical about Star Wars. He once commented that he can not believe the Star Wars Universe can travel at light speed but never had ultra sound so padme knew she had twins……..just a wanker shallow comment in my opinion that attacked people who were alike in their views, and opinions and probably DNA.
    3. Q. What has more depth – Star Trac or Star Wars (these guys know the answer). It seems they Star Trac Fans are seeking Revenge.
    4. This is lambasting of the highest quality. I give credit where it is due but there is no hope of these becoming star wars fans.
    5. Do these guys use soft lenses? Their complexion always looks very nice. The Star trac fans have had it great for a number of years but they are striking back at this uprising.
    6. I am English. Brexit……..we are coming back.
    7. CHALLENGE: Provide a script for Episode 8 that is written by yourselves. You have the best part of 8 months. Put your money where your mouth is. The Fans Await.
    8. The Last Jedi

  • frankelee

    Make more shit to criticize you lazy hackfrauds.

  • RLMkeepitup

    ppinions are gooooooodd

  • Andy James

    Will the conflict between Star Trek fans and Star Wars fans never end? How many must die before your bloodlust is satiated?

  • RPK

    I have not watched this video yet but I can already tell it will be amazing.

  • Like Icare

    When is the next thing you lazy hacks!
    I’m so desperate for entertainment, I’m watching old documentaries about Watergate!

  • Andy James

    Does Nixon still resign at the end?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Days of Future Past?

  • Like Icare

    The BBC and Discovery co-production from the ’90s. It’s just called “Watergate”.
    It’s actually quite good.

    Illustrates how out of touch with reality people like Nixon and Gordon Liddy were.

    While the White House was quite literally under siege by protesters (so they decided to do what John Wayne did – circle the wagons around the White House… only it’s buses not wagons) – Nixon walks out of the White House at 4 in the morning and goes over to the protesters to “make contact with them”.
    He walks over to kids dressed in combat uniforms and holding protest signs – and tries to talk sports with them. “Are there any surfers here?”

    Meanwhile, Liddy “dims the lights” during one of the burglaries by shooting them out with a silenced gun.
    But cause he can’t shoot them all out, he gets one of his men to lift him onto his shoulders so he could shoot out the remaining lights.
    When reminded that he said none of those men could identify him he answered “It’s OK, he never saw my face.”

    Though, after seeing “All the President’s Men Revisited” (kinda more through the prism of the movie/book) and seeing Ben FUCKING Stein cry (now AND then) over how Nixon was “wrongly persecuted” and how he “was a saint”… I’m surprised I’m still surprised by the insanity involved.
    Apparently he never heard Nixon’s opinions on “the Jews”.

  • Like Icare

    Haven’t gotten that far yet. They just did the burglary and started the cover-up.

  • Like Icare

    Paul Verhoeven is doing a movie about lesbian nuns.

    Can’t wait for the director’s commentary.
    Or the threats and attempts to firebomb the theaters showing the movie.

  • Andy James

    Fuck. I should have warned of spoilers.

  • Eucratides_Megas

    Judging by audience at two separate screenings of The Force Awakens and one of Rogue One, not that many. Of course those sickest of Star Wars (or anything else popular) will comment the shit out of their condition.

    I for one am genuinely excited about Star Wars. The Force Awakens was terrific, Rogue One was flawed if periodically entertaining. If they make one good movie for every bad movie and I can revisit a setting I love I’m happy.

  • RLMkeepitup

    sequel to nude nuns with big guns perhaps? *speaking of commentary* these hacks should do one for evil dead!

  • Jerome Gorden

    Threats to firebomb? Wrong religion dude. It’s Mohamed who can’t take the slightest insult. Jesus is use to taking punches from assholes who hate him for no reason.

    Anyway, the movie is not even that controversial. People are use to Hollywood mocking crazy nuns like…..Mother Teresa. You know, that bizarre lady who dedicated her whole life to feeding the poor in India; while we sit on our asses all day watching movies and stuffing food in our faces.

    Hey Hollywood: Why not make a movie about Muslim Lesbian girls who fuck while wearing head scarfs? Oh wait….that would require some REAL wit and some REAL courage. You’re not going to mock Islam. I mean, they may try to kill you. Christians believe in freedom of speech, so it’s always easier to pick on them.

  • Bubs

    You’re not wrong about Islam, but you are wrong about Christianity. Just google “Christian Terrorist Attacks”, if you have about 56 hours to spare. And Christians don’t believe in freedom of speech; Americans do. The Christian Holy book is filled to the brim with “don’t say this” and “don’t say that”. It just so happens that most Americans are pretend-Christians, so you’re correct on a technicality.

    Also, someone already made that movie. It’s called إصبع بلدي كس الثناء الله (Please my vagina, praise God!)

  • Like Icare

    Look up The Last Temptation of Christ and Paris theater fire.

    As for “not even that controversial” – just the mention of the idea sure rustled your jimmies.
    There isn’t even a movie yet and there you are going all catholic apologist, “damn the commie pinko Hollyweird – why doncha attack mussies”, “x-ianity rocks bitch”.
    Not even controversial indeed.

    Also, you might wanna look up actual criticism of “Mother Theresa”.
    Like Hell’s Angel documentary by Christopher Hitchens, which points out how she mostly fed herself, hobnobbed with rich (dictators or otherwise – money counts) and made poor suffer more “in order to be closer to Jesus”.
    I.e. She was a dangerous lunatic with great PR.

    BTW, Verhoeven wasn’t “Hollywood” since he did Hollow Man. Back in 2000.
    The movie will be French. Like his last movie.

    Also… besides there being movies about gay and lesbian Muslims out there, granted mostly not by Hollywood (just like this one won’t be) – then again there aren’t many Hollywood movies about gay and lesbian Chinese, or Hindus… hell… even movies about the relationships of gay and lesbian black Americans are practically non-existent… there’s A gay black man or woman here and there… but that’s mostly it.
    For actual Africans see under gay Chinese.
    But besides that…

    Nuns aren’t just ANY christian ladies. There isn’t an equivalent to a “bride of Christ” in other religions.
    You can’t make such a movie, let alone such a movie based on actual 17th century events (i.e. back in the old days when there were no gays) – cause there aren’t any “brides of Buddha” or “brides of Allah”.
    You can’t do a marital infidelity story where the god is the party being cuckolded with any other religion.
    You could do a story about gay priests and nuns… but none of them are married to son of god who is also his own dad.

    But the MOST important part is the bit where the last time Verhoeven tackled lesbians and “sin”… he made Showgirls.
    Basic Instinct before that.
    And that it’s the same guy who made Starship Troopers and Robocop.
    Whose movies take two decades on average for the general audience to pick up on the satire and allegory and what the story is really about.

    Anyone can make a movie about lesbian nuns.
    Only Paul Verhoeven can make a movie about lesbian nuns “from the director of Basic Instinct and Showgirls”.

    If that doesn’t get nutcases out of their Trump circle-jerk sessions and back to firebombing theaters and Sony offices (presumably it will again be Sony as the distributor)… well… there’s always hope he’ll finally make that historical Jesus movie.
    If for no other reason then to have a second good Jesus movie out there in the sea of ecclesiastical pornographic trash. First being The Last Temptation of Chris.
    [Insert video of Willem Dafoe trashing the temple, with Harvey Keitel and Victor Argo as his wingmen.]
    I came to bring a sword!

    It’s like the Goodfellas of Galilee.

  • R2D2

    Matthew 10:34

  • R2D2

    Come back George, for God’s sake, all is forgiven.

  • R2D2

    Who’s worse though, Nixon and Agnew, or Bush and Cheney.

  • Imaf

    Actually, this episode demonstrates the most frustrating part of watching online nerd-vids and podcasts. Sponsor messages and non-related stuff take up the first 10-minutes, before the shows get to their announced topics. Thus, the genesis of the “Skip-10 Rule.”

  • Jerome Gorden

    Yes, Jesus predicted in that passage that his most innocent followers (like Mother Teresa) would be mocked and in most cases killed – like Martin Luther King.

  • Jerome Gorden

    “Google Christian Terrorist Attacks”

    Of course….we see Chritian terror attacks in the news EVERYDAY (hehe). Christianity is the most sucessful religion in the world, and every twelve years you find someone one that’s bipolar. Wow. I’d say we’re doing pretty good, compared to that other religion where everyone is strapping bombs to themselves on a daily basis.

    “Also, someone made a movie….”

    WOW….you know how to use google to find THE ONE movie where something negative was said about Islam. I’m CONVINCED! Compared to the hundreds of films and television show that mock Christians, this one movie about Islam makes up for it all.

  • Jerome Gorden

    “There isn’t even a movie yet and there you are going all catholic apologist, “damn the commie pink Hollywood…”

    Commie? I would say overwhelmingly progressive/socialist. I mean, look at all the movie stars who OVERWHELMINGLY turned out for Hillary and Bernie. No political bias in Hollywood? Get real. Support for homosexuals? Absolutely. Ever heard of that little movie called Brokeback Mountain? I wonder why it won best picture…hmmm…could it be the subject matter?

    Yes, Christians think that men who don’t know where their penis belongs should not be taken seriously. It belongs in a vagina, not another man’s butt – just so you know. Seems like common sense to me. Oh, and they don’t want people teaching their children that the penis goes in the butt either. THESE CHRISTIANS ARE HORRIBLE!

    I guess RLM is going to ban me for that one. Saying the truth about homos is like saying the truth about Mohamed. You get censored in both cases. I guess you lefty-Atheists/Agnostics are not so different from religious fanatics after all.

    “Also, you might want look up Hell’s Angel documentary.”

    The documentary was universally derided by the left and the right alike. It was a ridiculous hit piece by an irrational fanatic who just hates Chritians. The blind followers of Hitchens who suck his dick daily are the only ones who support this trash.

  • Bubs

    Sorry, but your pretend magical man in the sky is not a better one than the Islamic pretend magical man in the sky. Ironically, they are probably the same pretend magical man in the sky. Shed your allegiance to religion, think for yourself for five minutes, and recognize that the future is based in science and reality, not religion and fantasy. Wanting something to be true, doesn’t make it true – just so you know.

  • Bubs

    My favorite part was when Jesus threw the ring into Mount Doom after his battle with Lord Voldemort.

  • Jerome Gorden

    “Sorry, but your pretend magical man in the sky…”

    I’m surprised you didn’t say Santa Claus. You Atheist who sit in your Mom’s basement all day…you all quote from the same Atheist handbook. Don’t you have anything original to say?

    In any case, Santa Claus does not provide the necessary prerequisites for the existence of the universe. God does. Neither do Spaghetti monsters. They’re just fictional creatures. I’m sorry you don’t understand the difference. God is a very logical explanation for how this universe began.

    “Shed your allegiance to religion.”

    Of course, you’ve studied Aristotle, Socrates, Plato right? You have a PHd in philosophy? Of course you do. I should trust your judgment on this fundamental question of life.

    “Wanting something to be true, doesn’t make it true – just so you know.”

    Yes, and speaking from total ignorance and illogic doesn’t make it true either. You’re all rhetoric, no logic.

  • Jerome Gorden

    Well, the Lord of the Rings was written by an ardent Christian. There is a lot of Christian theology in that movie. Same with Harry Potter. I’m glad you recognized that. You’re making progress…

  • Like Icare

    Want some cheese to go with that whine?

    Oh… I forgot. Cheese is for puffs. Sorry. No cheese for you then.

  • Jerome Gorden

    Keep sucking my brainwashed friend, keep sucking that dead corpse. The fool drank himself to death. Hitchens’ own brother hates Hitchens. His own brother thinks he is a fanatic and has written a book about how he believes in God – mainly because of his brother’s fanaticism.

  • Jerome Gorden

    Keep sucking my brainwashed friend, keep sucking that dead corpse. The fool drank himself to death. Hitchens’ own brother hates Hitchens. His own brother thinks he is a fanatic and has written a book about how he believes in God – mainly because of his brother’s fanaticism.

  • fish2000

    Steve Reich would find this very cool

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Is he the Third Reich after Robert Reich and William Reich?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Remember in the olden days when “Easter egg” meant “hidden feature on a DVD” rather than “everything”?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Won’t the priesthood be too busy raping children to pen any death threats?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I’d like to interrupt and say I hate both Hitchenses. Hitchensii? What’s the plural of a Hitchens?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “we see Christian terror attacks in the news EVERYDAY (hehe)”

    You are right, Crucifanboy. Christian terrorism thrived in the 90s with the racist militias, abortion clinic bombings, and the murder of Matthew Shepherd. Not that extremist Christians have changed, they just hide their bloodthirsty murderous moral hypocrisy better. Different religion, same bearded lunacy.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Nihil boObstat?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    All of them?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I loved him on Black Books!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Soft seboot.

  • Bubs

    He can only have the wine as long as someone says some magical words over it first, transforming it into the literal blood of God. You know – the logical thing to believe in.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I had the same reaction, but I had just eaten a burrito and drank a large cup of coffee.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    If you read about the Marriage of Cana, then you know Christ knew how to party. He was the Joe Francis of 1st century Roman Judaea.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Obnoxious? Moi?

  • Bubs

    If I thought that you were even remotely open-minded or capable of having a serious discussion about this topic (one which is difficult to have even with very intelligent people), I would take the time to delve into the many fallacies and non-sequiturs in your above statement. But since I don’t believe that, I will leave you with this one inexorable, horrifying fact: When you die, you will go into the ground like everyone else and worms will devour everything that you ever were. And all of your belief in magic won’t change that. Toodles!

  • R2D2

    Christopher Hitchens loved Mother Theresa didn’t he.

  • SUPERMAD

    I have seen one of those and agree.

  • R2D2

    Remember when Star Wars Didn’t suck? yeah me either.

Back to Top