Mr. Plinkett’s Zombie Review

October 30, 2017239 Comments

Never before seen! It’s finally here! The Mr. Plinkett Zombie review segments from “Doc of the Dead” in their entirety. These three segments condensed into one were not included in the final release of Doc of the Dead but now thanks to Exhibit A Pictures and Epix, we bring to you this special treat for Halloween.

http://www.exhibitapictures.com
http://www.epix.com
http://www.redlettermedia.com

Filed in: Plinkett Reviews

  • kuhpunkt

    I clapped, I clapped when I saw the treestand! I REMEMBER THAT!

  • kuhpunkt

    I clapped, I clapped when I saw the treestand! I REMEMBER THAT!

  • kuhpunkt

    I clapped, I clapped when I saw the treestand! I REMEMBER THAT!

  • DeL Keyes

    Rich Evans’s artwork is divine(-ly juvenile).

  • Bleurgh

    It always annoyed me that Return of the Living Dead got away with pretending to be an instalment in Romeros dead series.

  • Bleurgh

    Bigger problem than the digestive system not functioning is the respiratory system not functioning, no breath or heartbeat equals no mobility. This is why I think they should include something in every zombie movie about how the zombies do breathe and have heartbeats, they’re just super slow, but of course, no-one ever does, because no-one cares about this stuff as much as I do.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    It wasn’t pretending to be. It deliberately flouted every single one of his rules.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    Are you obsessive-compulsive, on the spectrum, or both?

  • kuhpunkt

    That’s a stupid question.

  • kuhpunkt

    But it’s a “sequel” in a way because it got the rights to the title, hence the “living dead” in the title. Dawn, Day, Land and the others only have “dead” and not “living dead” in the title.

  • Terriosaurus Hex

    Plinkett has a canon wife and granddaughter AND they’re both relatively human?? How long has this been going on?! I feel like I don’t even know you, man!

  • Brian Levine

    It’s backstory. And in a great sense of irony, Plinkett actually shot his first wife with a cannon.

  • Brian Levine

    It’s backstory. And in a great sense of irony, Plinkett actually shot his first wife with a cannon.

  • EJ

    It’s almost like we don’t even know if Plinkett lives in New Jersey or Milwaukee!

  • ikdks

    It depend on what kind of zombie. There’s romero zombies, the infected, but there’s also chemical zombies, like in Return of the Living Dead or the nazzi fish zombies in Shockwave.

    Those zombies’ body chemistry has been altered so they just can’t die. Whatever they were exposed to has taken over the natural processes in their body and replaced it with some other system. …and it sucks. It hurts to be forced to live. Fortunately brains fix that right up.

  • ikdks

    Wow, meta. That’s a hat on a hat.

  • frankelee

    There are no stupid questions. Unless you’re autistic. They ask lots of stupid questions.

  • frankelee

    Yeah, but at some point they’re just alive. Once we’ve made a zombie completely realistic we’re left with a living person who is completely normal.

  • ikdks

    No, Romero was a character in Return of the Living Dead. The movies existed it the RotLD universe.

    The backstory was that the movies were based on real events, but the Army forced Romero to cover it up by changing the story.

    So Night of the Living Dead was a microverse inside the Return of the Living Dead universe.

  • Gerald Potterton

    When’s the next half in the bag.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I think the zombies eating isn’t so much a need to eat as a desire to do so. They probably just puke it all up after they’re full and just go on eating.

    Sorta like Sally Field.

  • frankelee

    I’m glad they set up the sequel at the end.

  • frankelee

    I’m glad they set up the sequel at the end.

  • kuhpunkt

    Sigh.

  • peterablex

    Did you just curse Christopher Walken?

  • ikdks

    Don’t fear the reaper.

  • peterablex

    I would if I were him.

  • ikdks

    C’mon baby…

  • This is the first we’ve seen any of Plinkett’s wives. Until now he’s always just used that image of like that lady off a brand label he got off the internet.

  • This is why I always thought “fast zombies” as a sort of advanced form of rabies was a fine way to update the concept. Two reasons: zombies without functioning digestive tracts, sometimes completely without digestive tracts (upper torsos, missing/dragging intestines) – and they are easy as all fuck to run around. They’re stupid. And if they are decomposing they should be losing strength not gaining it. The problem I see is that most slow zombie movies function on the equivilant to video game logic – “YOU ARE GRABBED. YOU CANNOT ESCAPE.” I get that you can’t hurt something that is already dead but surely they don’t have vice grip.

  • Trump Dumper

    An RLM series just of Plinkett murdering his wives

  • RLMkeepitup

    mr plinkett needs his own horror movie, documentary, and food review channel

  • Bleurgh

    That sucks.

  • Bleurgh

    28 Days Later pulled off the half living zombie thing.

  • Strelnikov

    If Plinkett has a farm house, why doesn’t he have a rifle or over-under shotgun-rifle combo? Beyond the varmint explosions, being able to fire .38 rounds and shotgun rounds in quick succession would just fuck up any zombie’s day.

  • Strelnikov

    When the turkeys come.

  • Strelnikov

    Jack needs to polish his head with Woodoo hide, become a spotlight reflector.

  • Doctor Andrew Thompson. M.D

    oops…

  • Aaron Loehrlein

    There’s a whole scene about this in Day of the Dead. A zombie keeps eating even though it doesn’t have a stomach.

  • Gallen Dugall

    Again I say that Rich Evans is a national treasure.
    That National Treasure movie was originally about Rich Evans, but the studio execs swapped him out for a bunch of gold and crap at the end of the film.

  • What is this devilry? :O

  • RLMkeepitup

    its cold down under?

  • RLMkeepitup

    he’s already so aerodynamic its scary

  • RLMkeepitup

    happy halloween, you dirty animals

  • RLMkeepitup

    happy halloween, you dirty animals

  • Doctor Andrew Thompson. M.D

    It is today. and the avatar pic is from the middle of winter. I live in the mountains.

  • Doctor Andrew Thompson. M.D

    Its not devilry… But it might be a bit satanic.

  • Satanic rituals? <3

  • Johann

    It wasn’t pretending to be. It deliberately flouted every single one of his rules.

  • Brian Levine

    Oh my god…Mike Stoklasa actually reads books?

  • Well having a scene about it doesn’t make sense of it. If the intent of the virus is to spread wouldn’t it work better if the virus didn’t kill its host? So what, it festers in dead tissue? What does it need living people for? To turn into more festering corpses I guess? I know evolution isn’t like a conscious decision-making thing but I’ve often tried to understand how such a thing would evolve to be. I don’t understand why zombie movies don’t just say that they eat to keep from decomposing as quickly. I’ve always thought it was the perfect excuse and nobody ever used it to my knowledge.

  • ikdks

    Is the granddaughter related to one of the jigsaw girls from the clones review, or do you just direct all women the same?

    Oh, jigsaw. I just got that.

  • I’ve always been an advocate for fast zombies. I get that slow zombies are “scarier” but on the scale of scary that’s pretty down low so I really don’t care. On a more cerebral level actually I find “advanced rabies” style zombies more horrifying in actuality – they are literally just people with a very bad disease. There’s nothing visually other than bloodshot eyes that implicates their being completely inhuman. But their brain is probably swollen to a bloody mess. Slow zombies though? When people hesitate to shoot a rotting corpse because they knew them I don’t buy it. What are you hoping to restore them to their previous state? You can see through their eye sockets. So on the “family turns against one another” level fast/living zombies get the edge there. On a point of more visceral disgusting horror slow zombies win though.

    Also all you hipsters out there who refuse to call fast zombies “zombies” can bite me. A zombie is a generic definition for a mindless person, it doesn’t have to be a Romero zombie. I’m pretty sure the concept started with voodoo.

  • I’ve always been an advocate for fast zombies. I get that slow zombies are “scarier” but on the scale of scary that’s pretty down low so I really don’t care. On a more cerebral level actually I find “advanced rabies” style zombies more horrifying in actuality – they are literally just people with a very bad disease. There’s nothing visually other than bloodshot eyes that implicates their being completely inhuman. But their brain is probably swollen to a bloody mess. Slow zombies though? When people hesitate to shoot a rotting corpse because they knew them I don’t buy it. What are you hoping to restore them to their previous state? You can see through their eye sockets. So on the “family turns against one another” level fast/living zombies get the edge there. On a point of more visceral disgusting horror slow zombies win though.

    Also all you hipsters out there who refuse to call fast zombies “zombies” can bite me (maybe you will because you’re all zombies). A zombie is a generic definition for a mindless person, it doesn’t have to be a Romero zombie. I’m pretty sure the concept started with voodoo.

    Now I’m sick of the word zombie.

  • I thought 28 Days Later was a fine twist on the formula. The idea of civilization falling to zombie apocalypse in a matter of days made more sense with fast zombies who looked like people. I thought the description of the airport incident sounded absolutely horrifying (when I first saw it as a kid) – where everyone was trying to leave at once and once the infection got into the crowd it was just chaos – how could you tell a screaming zombie from a person scared for their life unless they were coughing blood into your face?

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Not to mention zombie sex.

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    You’ve got a point Variant, but to me fast zombies just don’t look supernatural enough. Heck, my grandpa looks scarier when he rushes to the loo trying not to wet himself!

  • That’s a fair criticism and I really don’t have a rebuttal for it.

  • By the way, speaking of zombies – I wanna see a re:view of David Cronenberg’s “Rabid”. That’s my favorite zombie/vampire movie of all time. Heck it’s one of my favorite 70s horror films. Probably the most unique take on the concept that I’ve seen in a movie. I wonder if Del Toro was influenced by it, cause he started going weird directions with vampires.

  • I’ve always felt that if you are going to reference a movie inside of a movie, that your movie had better feel more grounded or be on equal/better footing than the thing it’s saying is just a movie.

    It’s like if every character in an alien ripoff kept saying “Remember that movie Alien? This is just like that!” It just makes your movie seem even more pathetic in comparison.

  • EJ

    Please. Mike doesn’t know how to read.

  • EJ

    Wasn’t he married to Brandy from Atlantic City? I think we got to see her.

  • I don’t remember a Brandy, the only name I recall is Bambi and I think she was just supposed to be some lady he picked up at a casino.

  • Hey, he read IT and that shit is thick as the Bible.

  • ikdks

    Get out of here, Return of the Living Dead revitalised the zombie game. They were the first fast zombies and the first chemical zombie apocalypse. They introduced braaaaaaaaains!

    And it was hopeless. It was scarier because there was no way out. You knew from the beginning, there would be no happy ending.

    And then it was a dark comedy. Dawn had some jokes, but Return struck that reanimator tone, where it was simultaneously scary, disturbing and funny.

    I broke my whole hand off darling, but that’s ok because i love you, and i know you’ll let me eat your braaaaaaaaaain…

    It’s a fucking classic.

  • RLMkeepitup

    ‘Chambers after a motorcycle accident and surgical operation, develops an orifice under one of her armpits. The orifice hides a phallic stinger she uses to feed on people’s blood.’ sounds very Cronenbergian

  • EJ

    Yeah, you’re right, it was Bambi. I thought they got married at some point.

  • Yup! Didn’t wanna spoil anything but I guess the plot summary on IMDB does a good enough job of that. She’s an armpit vampire, and her armpit fangs turn people into zombies after she’s drained them. Basically she’s the unfortunate subject of experimental stem cell research because of her accident, and the movie just descends into chaos from there.

    I especially enjoyed this concept of a vampire because physiologically it made more sense than fangs in your mouth. She basically squeezes the blood out of people since her “fangs” are under her arms. Seems pretty efficient if you ask me.

  • That might be the case the timeline is a bit fuzzy.

  • That might be the case the timeline is a bit fuzzy.

  • ikdks

    Dead & Buried (1981). It’s a Jay class movie.

    But they should do Phantasm 2, total click bait.

  • No they weren’t the first any of those things because of the movie I mentioned above: Rabid (1977)

    Return revitalized it maybe, but the first part of that isn’t quite accurate. I’ll be honest though I haven’t seen it. If it’s that worth watching maybe I’ll check it out for shits and gigs. I think I’ve always been turned off by the “braaaaains” scene that I saw on youtube. Although if I’m being completely fair – something with a dying brain might need brains to sustain it. I’m not a sciencetist but in movie logic it works better than “they eat you because zombie”.

    Anyway I respect your opinion and I won’t disagree with you on it being an important zombie flick of its generation until I’ve actually watched it.

  • I actually haven’t seen Dead & Buried, is that a good one? If Jay likes it might be up my alley.

  • ikdks

    I haven’t seen it, but that sounds like the infected, not chemical zombies. Did they moan, “Braaaaains”?

    Ooooh! Can you count Body Snatched as zombies? That busts it wide open.

    I mentioned Shock Waves (1977), chemical nazzi fish zombies, created by an ss supersoldier experiment that escapes from a derelict u boat.

    A guy gets his face crushed into a bed of sea anemones. It rules.

  • ikdks

    I predict Jay would like it, it’s a slow burn, like that housesitting girl movie he likes.

    I haven’t seen it in 20 years, so maybe it doesn’t hold up, but i remember it as, like, the thinking man’s zombie movie.

    But if you want to go in the other direction, “I was a Zombie for the FBI” rules. It coins the term, “Zombified”. I also think phantasm stole their killer q-ball idea.

  • ikdks

    You know, everybody is dropping disqus because it’s infiltrated by Russian intelligence.

    I find it highly irresponsible that the HF’s haven’t switched over yet. Next thing you know this whole thread will be nothing but Project Popcorn references.

  • Huh! I’ll put it on the list.

  • Ahhh yeah sorry I wasn’t differentiating between people infected and affected by chemicals. I suppose that is an entirely different thing. They were fast though.

  • ikdks

    I’ll check out Rabid.

    It’s on Showtime on demand. (I don’t have that)

  • ikdks

    I would say the infected are alive, but infectious and brain damaged beyond repair. Chemical zombies are reanimated corpses.

    Oh, another good one, H.G. Wells’ Things to Come (1936), you want to talk about old school.

    People in “The Future” get wandering sickness, where they get infected and just get up and wander mindlessly, until they infect a new community.

    That’s got to be the first example of the infected.

  • wesley

    I haven’t seen it, but that sounds like the infected, not chemical zombies. Did they moan, “Braaaaains”?Ooooh! Can you count Body Snatched as zombies? That busts it wide open.I mentioned Shock Waves (1977), chemical nazzi fish zombies, created by an ss supersoldier experiment that escapes from a derelict u boat.A guy gets his face crushed into a bed of sea anemones. It rules.

  • ikdks

    Does this guy do this to other people, or just me?

  • Gregstradamous

    Sorry Bea Arthur! and Sorry RLM! These scenes are hillarious!

  • Bleurgh

    Indeed.

  • Spoiled Ants

    What if the zombies are on skateboards? They wouldn’t move that much but still be fast creeps, as long as they hang around on downhill slopes.
    They can turn it into a videogame franchise as well.
    “Skate Or Die – San Francisco”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Am I a Grammar Nazi for pointing out you misspelled Nazi?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Am I a Grammar Nazi for pointing out you misspelled Nazi?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Did Rick Berman put you up to this?

    **holds up Jar-Jar Binks doll**

    Now tell me where Kevin Spacey touched you.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I thought that was how Eric Trump mates?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    But only if the skateboard zombies wear their baseball caps backwards and readily spout pop cultural catchphrases. Bring on Undead Poochie!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    He’s read all the Star Trek tie-in novels.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    He’s been saving a pocket watch for me.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    That’s just vulgar.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Just lay back and think of the British Empire. It works for Melania Trump.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    His drawings were great. Who knew he had actual talent? Besides fucking Droid toys and eating the Shaq meat.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    His drawings were great. Who knew he had actual talent? Besides fucking Droid toys and eating the Shaq meat.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Exploding Varmints is a cinema classic.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I’d like to see Mr. Plinkett meet Guy Fieri and swap recipes.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Time to consult the RLM Wikia.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    So the cannon is canon?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Would I sound like a Grammar Nazi if I corrected your spelling for Nazi?

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Now that’s a movie I would pay to watch!

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Despite favouring slow zombies I agree 28 Days Later would look goofy with them and the epidemic dynamics simply wouldn’t be feasible. What an awesome movie…

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Funny how nobody has mentioned Walking Dead so far. Could it be I’m not the only one thinking that series is a steaming pile of TSHI?

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Funny how nobody has mentioned Walking Dead so far. Could it be I’m not the only one thinking that series is a steaming pile of TSHI?

  • Thanatos

    When zombies are reanimated magically rather than some virus nonsense, you don’t have to worry about such things.

  • Thanatos

    More likely their stomach just ruptures and the food falls out, but it doesn’t matter because they’re a zombie.

  • Thanatos

    Pretty sure that timeline got erased by his cat going to Atlantic City.

  • Thanatos

    He read 101 Kids Jokes

  • Thanatos

    So why wasn’t the footage used….?

  • Bubs

    I think basically because Doc of the Dead is… well, a documentary, which is already loaded with all kinds of other content. You load in too many hookers in the crawl space, and you might find yourself detracting from the overall movie you’re trying to create. You might end up confusing people rather than enlightening them.

    That being said, I’ve seen Doc of the Dead and thought it was pretty lame. This RLM Plinkett breakdown was – unsurprisingly – much more entertaining and informative.

  • Bubs

    I think basically because Doc of the Dead is… well, a documentary, which is already loaded with all kinds of other content. You load in too many hookers in the crawl space, and you might find yourself detracting from the overall movie you’re trying to create. You might end up confusing people rather than enlightening them.

    That being said, I’ve seen Doc of the Dead and thought it was pretty lame. This RLM Plinkett breakdown was – unsurprisingly – much more entertaining and informative.

  • ikdks

    I don’t like writing Nazi on the internet.

  • ikdks

    I really expected someone to over-tell the joke by saying something like “you mean like the cowbell sketch!”.

    But no one did so i guess i have to do it myself.

  • I tried watching it for about three seasons and I just could not get invested. It’s crazy how much I just did not care about ANY of the characters. I don’t even know how the fuck I made it through season 2 at the goddamn farmhouse.

  • I tried watching it for about three seasons and I just could not get invested. It’s crazy how much I just did not care about ANY of the characters. I don’t even know how the fuck I made it through season 2 at the goddamn farmhouse.

  • There’s a ton of these automated post-duplicators now, it’s happened to me a good few times. More often lately.

  • EJ

    I tried to watch it 3 times because everyone was talking about how great it was. I got about 2 1/2 episodes in each time before getting bored with it.

  • EJ

    I tried to watch it 3 times because everyone was talking about how great it was. I got about 2 1/2 episodes in each time before getting bored with it.

  • EJ

    WordPress by default won’t let you submit a comment that’s identical to one that already exists. I’m amazed Disqus doesn’t have that feature.

  • ikdks

    Why? What’s the angle?

  • Brian Levine

    Gave up after 2 seasons. Basically same plot every year.

  • Brian Levine

    Gave up after 2 seasons. Basically same plot every year.

  • Brian Levine

    Even that Star Trek/Here Come The Brides tie-in novel? That’s dedication.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The real reason has to do with the Illuminati and the angle of deflection on the Grassy Knoll. If you read my manifesto–
    **transmission interrupted**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Probably something to do with Trump’s collusion with Russia and Hillary’s missing emails. Or the Disqus developers are a bunch of lazy fucks.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    But you just did. Also, writing the word “Nazi” doesn’t mean you support the Nazis. That’s not how language works.

  • ikdks

    Dude, c’mon.

    I mean how do they profit?

  • ikdks

    Yeah, obviously.

    I just don’t want it in my internet history. It’s just proper web hygiene. Don’t pee in the pool.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    1. Collect underpants.
    2.
    3. Profit.

  • Bradley Johnson

    Dead & Buried (1981). It’s a Jay class movie.But they should do Phantasm 2, total click bait.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Hygienic or paranoid? Avoiding the use of the word Nazi, especially when making fun of those Teutonic nitwits, seems like base cowardice. When you’re so antifa you can’t even spell out the word, then the other side has won. Sorry.
    **Price is Right sad trombone**

  • ikdks

    I work in data.

  • ikdks

    It might be ironic and self referential, but it’s still dooshy.

  • ikdks

    It might be ironic and self referential, but it’s still dooshy.

  • ikdks

    It might be ironic and self referential, but it’s still dooshy.

  • ikdks

    It might be ironic and self referential, but it’s still dooshy.

  • RLMkeepitup

    that series just won’t die #drama

  • RLMkeepitup

    that series just won’t die #drama

  • Pop Culture Reference

    *douchey

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Bambi? Didn’t he go on to host University Challenge?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    It’s hard to play cowbell when you’re playing Russian roulette.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders has a lock on the stupid answers market. I’d diversify my stocks with more Al Jaffee.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    So you’re the one selling all my personal information to third-parties without my permission?

  • Strelnikov

    A lot of Yuppies felt the same way in the 1980s, so they tried serving lobster or Cornish game hens instead. Never took off.

  • Strelnikov

    A lot of Yuppies felt the same way in the 1980s, so they tried serving lobster or Cornish game hens instead. Never took off.

  • Strelnikov

    A lot of Yuppies felt the same way in the 1980s, so they tried serving lobster or Cornish game hens instead. Never took off.

  • No idea.

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Dang, not to get sentimental but it is nice to meet people who think the same way. IMDS and rotten tomatoes would have us believe we are from Mars! Hurray for RLM!

  • ikdks

    Doosh is more onomatopoetic to the American eye.

  • Crippen

    RLM’s commentary on film comes across as much more organic and naturally insightful, whereas this felt like some kid trying to come up with whatever he could to get an essay done by the due date.

  • ikdks

    Think about all this Weinstein business. All these stories are coming out now. Things that were laughed off or excused, ten, twenty years ago, are now bubbling to the surface and taking people down.

    You’re best bet is to just use common sense and not put anything out there that might irritate someone, even if you don’t agree with their values. It isn’t worth it for the momentary bad boy thrill.

    And believe me, i have a history of on line squabbling with alt-righters and feminists, some of which i wouldn’t want to see in a cyron on cable news, So i’m not innocent here.

    You’re best bet is to be a zebre in the herd. Talking about nazzis all day on the internet, is just going to make you ping on some algorithm some where.

    And you can talk all day about your rights, like some freshman polisci student, but people also have the right to dislike you and not hire you.

  • ikdks

    I wanted a scifi show, not a soap opera set against a zombie holocaust.

    I wanted the plot to be about nuclear power plants exploding and dams breaking. I wanted Dawn of the Dead excess, I wanted Night of the Comet global rebirth, i wanted Chernobyl nature reclaiming the planet. I wanted a Bill Burr, population 30 thousand, everybody goes to the superbowl. I wanted a guy on a monster truck with a guitar that spits fire.

    All we got a bunch of people griping at each other. I got that in real life.

  • MutePrint

    I would bet it’s because the documentary provided a positive fanboy outlook on the zombie genre while RLM tore it apart limb from limb. Then again I have never seen the doc of the dead so I may be brain-dead on this topic.

  • EJ

    I watched it with my roommate at the time and every time and it was like –
    Ep1 “Oh wow he thought he was gonna save a little girl, but she was a zombie! This gonna be some classic creepy horror!”
    Ep2 “Um, well ya gotta admit the business with the tank was pretty cool”
    Ep3 “Wait, how did the last episode end, even though I just watched it? I forgot. Anyway I gotta be up early tomorrow so I’ll catch this up later” and then neither of us ever did.

    Also I’m a guy and my roommate was female so when I pointed out that in Ep1 somebody had shaved Our Hero’s neckbeard but not his whole face, which she naturally didn’t realize, she was like, OK, fuck what anyone else says, this show is dumb.

  • EJ

    Like what if Instead of that shit World War Z movie Netflix or Amazon had optioned that book and we had a large scale, worldwide zombie apocalypse. There’s no excuse not to, CGI these days is good enough for TV.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    No, I meant about the turkeys coming. TMI, dude.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    No, I meant about the turkeys coming. TMI, dude.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    You’re right, we do live in an age of self-censoring cowards and dingbats that don’t know words or context work. And if your HR program only picks up said problematic word instead of its overall context, well, no wonder the stock is plummeting, there’s more data breaches than a leaky lifeboat, and the workforce is composed of lazy office lichens and know-nothing drones. Hooray, America! Apple pie, 3rd amendment, Jeff Sessions, dadaist manifesto, quiche, napalm, zeppelin, Amish paradise.

  • EJ

    28 Days Later is my hands down favorite horror film. One thing I love about it is nobody does anything totally stupid, and when they do things that are a bit illogical it is very clearly motivated. It’s gotta be one of the tightest written horror films ever, and so it’s totally scary. And then the sequel starts off with 15 minutes of people making the dumbest possible decisions, which undermines it completely.

    Also, they just very briefly touch on the intervening interval between the first film and the second, and also the third, which sounds way more interesting – random criminals and oddballs trying to loot and/or colonize a ruined, zombie infested Britain? That sounds way more interesting than what we got.

  • EJ

    Dude when they finally make it Manchester and the whole city is on fire, that shot is so money.

  • ikdks

    You sound like a kid.

  • Tony

    Well having a scene about it doesn’t make sense of it. If the intent of the virus is to spread wouldn’t it work better if the virus didn’t kill its host? At least not right away? So what, it festers in dead tissue? What does it need living people for? To turn into more festering corpses I guess? Why bite them until they’re dead? Like why go for the throat? Why not give the virus time to reproduce in a living person for the sake of longevity? I know evolution isn’t like a conscious decision-making thing but I’ve often tried to understand how such a thing would evolve to be, I think it would burn out rather quickly. I don’t understand why zombie movies don’t just say that they eat to keep from decomposing as quickly. I’ve always thought it was the perfect excuse and nobody ever used it to my knowledge. Also I always hated the Walking Dead version of it. That just makes it more confusing. “Everyone is infected, but also you get a 100% guaranteed fever from being bitten by a zombie even though you are already infected?” So what it’s two viruses now? What’s going on?

  • Tony

    Well having a scene about it doesn’t make sense of it. If the intent of the virus is to spread wouldn’t it work better if the virus didn’t kill its host? At least not right away? So what, it festers in dead tissue? What does it need living people for? To turn into more festering corpses I guess? Why bite them until they’re dead? Like why go for the throat? Why not give the virus time to reproduce in a living person for the sake of longevity? I know evolution isn’t like a conscious decision-making thing but I’ve often tried to understand how such a thing would evolve to be, I think it would burn out rather quickly. I don’t understand why zombie movies don’t just say that they eat to keep from decomposing as quickly. I’ve always thought it was the perfect excuse and nobody ever used it to my knowledge. Also I always hated the Walking Dead version of it. That just makes it more confusing. “Everyone is infected, but also you get a 100% guaranteed fever from being bitten by a zombie even though you are already infected?” So what it’s two viruses now? What’s going on?

  • Bleurgh

    Zombie viruses make zero sense when held up to scrutiny, don’t bother.

  • Bleurgh

    Zombie viruses make zero sense when held up to scrutiny, don’t bother.

  • Bleurgh

    Zombie viruses make zero sense when held up to scrutiny, don’t bother.

  • Bleurgh

    Zombie viruses make zero sense when held up to scrutiny, don’t bother.

  • fred

    Season 1 had some good stuff, then they fired Frank Darabont and it all went to shit.

  • My post really makes more sense when said by me in context with its related conversation thread.

  • I feel like they are going for some sort of… “just stories about people surviving” approach with sort of a clinical, apathetic lens. And to be honest, when I describe it like that, I like the sound of that – but for some reason it just terribly missed its mark for me. Maybe the problem is that I don’t want a zombie apocalypse done boring and clinical. That’s how I like my sci-fi. I think every major zombie flick has always had some sort of “attitude” that made it stand out – like Romero’s Dawn of the Dead – sure Mike jokes that George Romero’s iconic nature lies in his clinical, dry execution of his concepts – but even there you’ve got a lot of fun shit going on. Bikers throwing pies at zombies, eccentric music choices, glorious headshots, characters with at least some resemblence of humanity even if it is somewhat pushed to the back. The movie has a personality. The Walking Dead has no personality. The only thing the overall “tone” of the show says to me from start to finish – the moment that theme music kicks in for the opening – the show says “everything sucks, people die and they rot in the ground, get over it”. What fun is that? I get that it’s grim but like – you need something more.

  • EJ

    Also, who is keeping the damn grass mowed months after the zombie apocalypse?

  • A couple of zombies who still have a death grip on their solar-powered lawn-mowers.

  • ikdks

    I wouldn’t call this a zombie movie, this is more like some sort of vampire thing. It’s also the greatest monster movie Hal Needham never made.

    Ivan Reitman? Really?

    Cronenberg should have followed his bliss and just made a soft core porn.

    Man, remember when white guys had all the answers?

    I want to invent a time machine and have sweaty bicentennial relations with Marilyn Chambers (guys, give her a hospital gown, for god’s sakes).

  • If you’re referring to Rabid, that’s why I summarized it as both my favorite zombie AND vampire movie. It is not specifically either because it twists and entwines both concepts together – the zombies being a result of vampirism. Seeing how a lot of them in the movie are drained til dead that makes the checklist for “undead” if you’re going that route for the definition of zombie – and they aren’t vamps because they neither seek blood nor share any of the same mutations that the vamp lady does. It’s a twist on the formula for sure, but I think it qualifies for both genres.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I think in the Walking Dead it’s like an HIV/AIDS thing. Everyone has HIV but you only get AIDS when bitten by an AIDS carrier or you die.

  • That’s pushing it a little but that’s better than the “well theyre all rotting so naturally theyve got nasty teeth” defense.

  • Jannik

    Pretty sure that timeline got erased by his cat going to Atlantic City.

  • Jannik

    Pretty sure that timeline got erased by his cat going to Atlantic City.

  • Jannik

    Pretty sure that timeline got erased by his cat going to Atlantic City.

  • frankelee

    Make something new you HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKS!

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Ah… Now you got me dreaming about bikers throwing pies at the whole Walking Dead cast. That should get the tone about right…

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Aww, but we were having so much fun with the zombies! Please mom, just 5 more minutes and then I’ll eat my Marvel…

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Aww, but we were having so much fun with the zombies! Please mom, just 5 more minutes and then I’ll eat my Marvel…

  • Johann

    I would bet it’s because the documentary provided a positive fanboy outlook on the zombie genre while RLM tore it apart limb from limb. Then again I have never seen the doc of the dead so I may be brain-dead on this topic.

  • frankelee

    Make something new you HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKS!

  • EJ

    It was amusing about 4 or 12 seasons in or whatever we’re on now and the fanboys were like, “what, you don’t watch the Walking Dead?!?” and I’d be like “why would I? All you guys have been doing for the last 2 years is bitching about how shitty it’s gotten, and yet you still think I should watch it? WTF?”

  • EJ

    World War Z (the book; the movie is garbage) is a good version of a “realistic” zombie apocalypse because it’s not just people trying to survive, but trying to figure out how to solve the problem. There are plenty of people making dumb decisions, like we would, but also people taking a hard-headed approach to how to fight this menace and how do we make society work in spite of it.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I’d like to see a zombie version of “Rent.”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Anyone else have a craving for pasta and red sauce?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Nothing makes me happier than flagging a comment “For Impersonation” and then blocking their fucking ass.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I’m disappointed by the cooking of the duck meat.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Nope. Just a free speech absolutist with zero fucks to give.

    It’s like when I see footage of the Dresden firebombing during WW 2 and my first thought is,”Yep, sounds about right.” My second thought, “When are we having s’mores?”

    Because if you can’t make jokes at the expense of Nazis, well … I’d hate to see Mel Brooks unemployed. “The Producers” is one of the hallmarks of Western civilization.

  • frankelee

    Dear hacks, make something NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!

  • ikdks

    Yeah, when i made that comment i hadn’t gotten to the point where the people she infected zombified. She was the carrier, but the got the disease.

    It was pretty good, Cronenberg doing Savini.

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Such a shame really! A zombie holocaust show seems like a pretty good idea…

  • Moist

    Uh huh. Ever see a show called Z Nation?

    One episode is entitled “Zombaby!”

    It features a zombie baby.

  • Moist

    “A blind man’s penis is erect because he’s blind.”

  • Moist

    Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes Later

  • Joe Syxpac

    Throw some Italian sausage in there and I’m sold.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Throw some Italian sausage in there and I’m sold.

  • DRP103

    you know what would easily kill a pack of zombies? plants!

  • Glad you enjoyed it. I just put on Dead & Buried – took me a minute to track it down, I’ll let you know what I think later!

  • Glad you enjoyed it. I just put on Dead & Buried – took me a minute to track it down, I’ll let you know what I think later!

  • You mean where they are addicted to bath salts instead of heroin?

  • These doppelganger things are really making this webzone confusing.

  • I tried to watch the pilot of that show knowing full well it would be Syfy original schlock – and hoo boy – it was even worse than I thought. The opening scene is some people dragging an infected person who has not yet changed onto a table – to be strapped down/secured or whatever – and like – he dies on the table – lays still – then like three seconds later he shakes violently and “becomes a zombie” – in other words without having decayed at all he instantly shifts from human to zombie – PHYSIOLOGICALLY. Like his cheek rips open and his face look fucked up – that’s not how zombies work! Tha fuck. Cannot believe that shit is still airing. It’s audience must be full of mouth breathers or people who watch The Asylum movies ironically – even though The Asylum knows full well what it’s doing, which makes it horribly obnoxious. They don’t just make duplicate blockbusters – they present them as duplicate B-movies. It’s like they trick two different audiences at once for completely opposite reasons. People who think “Transmorphers” is Transformers and people who think these films are true to form B-movies just because they’re bad.

  • Moist

    Eyematopoetic?

  • Moist

    That dude from the first scene is the father of the zombaby. His features are often digitally added onto the face of the zombaby to remind you that the bluish dude and the bluish baby are related. At one point the zombaby is sent flying through the air and winks directly into the camera.

    Zombaby!

  • Dear christ.

  • In the sequel you’ll play a zombie Tony Hawk – “Skate or Die Again!”

  • I know you think everything this guy is saying is a joke but he actually kind of has a point. Personally, I’m not afraid to say nazi – nazi nazi nazi. They exist and I won’t ignore it. However, I’m not sure if you realize this but the FBI catalogues an absurd amount of data. I used to go on a discussion forum back in the day – not like Disqus like one of those vbulletin things. At one point there was a thread made about how you – yes you – anyone can ask the FBI for their file/report, and it may take them some time to actually give it to you, but technically they are required by law to. This proved to be particularly revealing of just how paranoid our government actually is, when many people in the thread reported having gotten their papers, and noted that there were many instances of them just saying “things” on the internet. Anything of any degree of association with a potential for illegal activity was met with a footnote in their report. Hell, my friend’s dad down the street from me is suspected by the FBI of being a “fake identity kingpin” – like they think he just produces massive amounts of fake ID’s for people who need them. Which is totally wrong, by the way – and this has been an ongoing thing for years. You may think that you’re not under suspicion – and you’re probably right – but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a report on you. They probably know full well a lot of these things are routine and don’t actually mark you as a terrorist but people are being watched – regular people like you and me. I don’t go to forums anymore or talk much on the internet except for here, so I don’t *think* I’ve ever said anything that is noteworthy – but I’m not the government so I can’t properly define “noteworthy”. That thread I was talking about? I naturally assumed that if just saying some half-assed bullshit gets you on their radar, then having a conversation about their radar probably also contributes to it or becomes at least a part of it.

  • Well typically I find people who use “free speech” as an excuse to play devil’s advocate particularly obnoxious – but in your case so far you haven’t displayed it as having any sense of underlying malicious intent, so I don’t care one way or another. I support speaking one’s mind, but I also support punching people in the face if they say something with intent of disrespect.

  • Ohhh I get it – this is a reference to that one game.

  • That being said – I think that the show may have gone completely soap opera because after awhile everything becomes “we stay here until the place is overrun” – making it about the characters makes sense to some degree. Maybe in the post-apocalypse people should live in some sort of complicated maze that only a living organism would have the intelligence to figure out. Like – “oh shit they got in again! That’s okay, just run around for awhile til they lose track of you!” It seems like every “we are overrun” situation is comprised of people stupidly occupying tight, enclosed spaces. The problem is that the characters aren’t interesting. Should’ve had some eccentric personalities thrown in there and I think it could’ve been all right.

  • frankelee

    Something new? You FUCKING HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKS!

  • Somebody Else

    I clapped, I clapped when I saw there was nothing new, you MOTHERFUCKING HACK FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUDS!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Nice aria.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Zombies vs. Plants?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    No, not the short version edited for television!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The pizza rolls are not what they seem.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    But does World War Z have Brad Pitt showing his abs in the shower? Asking for a friend.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    A zombie baby? So Barron Trump makes a cameo?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I … wait, what?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Of the first was he to bare arms and a name: Wassaily Booslaeugh of Riesengeborg. His crest of huroldry, in vert with ancillars, troublant, argent, a hegoak, poursuivant, horrid, horned. His scutschum fessed with archers strung, helio, of the second. Hootch is for husbandman handling his hoe. Hohohoho, Mister Finn, you’re going to be Mister Finnagain!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    He’s aerodynamic, allopecious, and attractive.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    He’s aerodynamic, allopecious, and attractive.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Wouldn’t that be a Trump biopic?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I thought 28 Days Later was the movie where Sandra Bullock goes to rehab?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Hasn’t the FBI figured out the whole “quality over quantity” thing yet for finding bad guys? It just strikes me as an epic case of bureaucratic inefficiency. In other words, they are really bad at their jobs. Just because they can brute force their way through the entire Internet on their banks of taxpayer-funded supercomputers doesn’t mean it’s actually a good idea. I mean, come on! Pound the pavement and pigeonhole some quality CIs.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I don’t support punching Nazis. I support relentless carpet bombing of cities and letting the Soviets have a free hand in conquering Berlin.

    But in terms of “free speech,” there are reasonable limits:

    *Don’t shout fire in a crowded theater. (When there isn’t a fire.)
    *Don’t publish the names and street address of abortion doctors on a pro-life website.
    *Don’t advocate the violent overthrow of the government.

    Common sense stuff. And free speech without the voicing of unpleasant, uncomfortable, and repellent viewpoints is worthless. (Salman Rushdie said something to the same effect.) I’m sure my pro-gay, pro-trans, pro-immigrant, pro-gay marriage, pro-pot, pro-prostitution, and pro-porn opinions must be problematic to the swastika-bestrewn alt-right snowflakes.

    I also have issues with the word “problematic” being used as a catch-all for people who want to censor and suppress art and opinions.

    Finally, I really don’t like Tipper Gore and her PMRC swear-word-hating Senate Goon Squad from the 1990s. Hell, she pissed off John Denver for fuck’s sake!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Schroedinger’s Zombie?

  • Moist

    I don’t know how it’s possible to keep getting outraged, but it is.

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    I was beginning to wonder about you PCR. Good to have you back!

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Sold! And for those into zombie babies, have you heard of Peter Jackson’s Braindead(aka Dead Alive)? You’ll never see ketchup and mayonnaise the same way I tell ya!

  • Moist

    Pretty sure I’ve seen Dead Alive, but I preferred Meet the Feebles. You will never look at Siamese cat puppets fellating walrus puppets the same way again. You can also never unsee those puppet hippo nipples.

  • Trump Dumper

    sure

  • kuhpunkt

    Kinda.

  • Fabrice Tromeur

    Never forget your tree stand safety.

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