Mr. Plinkett’s The Star Wars Awakens Review

October 2, 2016999 Comments

I squeeze gats till my clips is empty. A review of The Force Awakens and much much more…

Special thanks to/clips and references:

Tim Higgins as JJ Abrams

Rich Evans and Jay Bauman
George Lucas
JJ Abrams

Mike Klimo
http://www.starwarsringtheory.com
MrRepzion
https://www.youtube.com/user/MrRepzion
Blind Wave
https://www.youtube.com/user/Atopgun007
HOME
Splash’N Boots
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy8XSeXll7uFB5r5RXj4Hcw


Filed in: Plinkett Reviews

  • tOmy`

    Hey, mods, seems like Chinese hackers took over your web and posted some kind of a virus.

  • John

    I can’t believe it’s here!…You have made my day again RLM.

  • A SNES Day Off

    What sorcery is this??

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s happening. It’s happening.

    This is the greatest thing since the #Fappening!

  • bassbait

    Finally.

  • tOmy`

    The lack of Emma Stone begs to differ.

  • Brian

    It’s here! So shiny…so chrome! What a day, what a lovely day!

  • jmt

    When you started talking about ring theory, I thought you might be talking about an abstract mathematical theory that generalizes integer arithmetic.

    I didn’t realize it was an abstract theory that generalizes appreciation for shitty prequels.

  • Colby Jack

    Oh my gooooood it’s happeeeennnnnniiiiinnngggg

  • Percy Gryce

    I’m only 10 minutes in and Mike’s genius is like a stream of bat’s piss.

    And by that I mean that it shines out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Lucas in the first clip, called it

  • You hack frauds have activated my crystal-gordita-meth-crunch-cravings, a ringing sensation in my inner ear, and the virulent crotch strength of sex pervert Dom Deluise. I now have the power.

  • Cynical Optimist

    Yassssss bish, YAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS

  • Percy Gryce

    By the way, who’s the hottie vaguely Asian chick in the clip where Lucas delivers the draft of the Episode One script?

    I’m asking for a friends of mine, who would like to remain anomalous.

  • Mr. Wint

    Here they come…

  • TitusAndronicusForever

    Oh my God, YEEESSSS! It’s nearly midnight, but who needs sleep anyway!

  • Black Santa

    a good day!

  • tOmy`

    To die hard?

  • New Normal Bot

    Blorch

  • jmt

    I got to hand it to Mr Plinkett, for a 100+ old man he’s some mighty powerful colon muscles.

  • Chris Schmidt

    Any Plinkett content is good Plinkett content.

  • Percy Gryce

    Animated Plinkett?

  • Percy Gryce

    It only took 49 minutes for Mike’s first Star Trek reference.

  • Like Icare

    Now THAT’S restraint… I mean… pod racing.

  • Like Icare

    Stoned Emmas are among the most popular Emmas among the 15-44 male demographic.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’d like to ask her a few questions, about star wars

  • Like Icare

    This will be a day long remembered…
    It’s already the Day of Liberation of my town from fascists in WW2 AND they just got beat once again at the local elections.
    Coincidence?

    YES!

    THIS.

    Still, a very good day all in all.

  • ooktar

    When’s the next Plinkett Review you Hack Fra……..

    Oh, well shit. Space Cop is out, there’s a new Plinkett Review, now what am I supposed to wait for?

  • b-

    Loved it!

  • I’m so glad that Mike is never gonna let go of the 50’s Diner.

  • MichaelKz

    No wonder it took so long to make this review, Mike and co. and to sift through all kinds of bullshit that has been written about Star Wars in the past ten years.

  • When’s the next plinkett review?

  • stryker1121

    Star Wars for every waking moment, then the peace of the grave.

  • playdude92 .

    I watched this all in one sitting and my brain did not melt with Star Wars! Woo!

  • Alex Doucet

    Useless fact: Jake Loyd is a medically diagnosed schizophrenic.

  • Psycho Rockter

    Thanks for doing this, Plinkett stay out of trouble! And review Cool World btw

  • MonkeyKing1969

    No?! Come on, people were actually buying into this ‘ring theory’ bullshit? If these out of work philosophy major are so hot for a theory – why not Occam’s razor?

    If there exist two explanations for an occurrence. In this case the simpler one is usually better. That is to say Lucas is a medium talent who made something too big to control, but because he is a narcissistic megalomaniac he decided to control something out of his creative grasp.

    Wait, let even get it down to less. The films worked when they were collaborations with oversight, but when Lucas dictated all aspects they stank for lack of oversight.

  • Like Icare

    I think her name is Sung Yee… or Yong Woo… something.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    How many Disney lawyers did Mike have to suck off for permission to use clips from Star Wars: TFA? We’re watching almost a whole year’s worth of writing, editing, and polishing flesh sabers at Disney headquarters. Thank you for your sacrifice.

  • Like Icare

    Schi-roo-scant?

  • ItsFreakinSteve

    Haven’t watch this yet, but I just want to say thank you to RLM for entertaining me for the next 2 hours.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the discussion of everyones sexual intentions made me lol and wonder where the hookers were in dis video

  • Archfriend

    I remember when I watched Message From Space I wondered where I heard that music before, and now I realize it was from the Plinkett reviews. Also: who needs a Star Wars reboot when you can watch Message From Space?

  • Waggner

    Oh my god mike do you really think you had a hand in lucas giving sw to the corporate robots? Is all this shit your fault? Why would you betray us like this? All your best intentions have borne wicked fruit, like anakin slip-sliding into the dark side. Anyway thanks for the charlie rose clip, I hadn’t seen that one. lucas seemed close to having genuine emotions talking about the corporate death of creativity. i almost felt bad for him.
    Hey, since your film making activities don’t amount to shit anyways do you want to team up and make some guerrilla star wars; you know, the prequels and sequels the way they should have been? and then sell them on the black market? probably make a shit ton if we don’t get caught and sued and imprisoned and butt stuffed. Plus we’d be legends and heroes for the rest of time… just saying. have your people call my people.
    Love, Waggner

  • Spoiled Ants

    Unwatched

    5 out of 5 star wars

  • Archfriend

    Wait, how is all of this connected to Splash’N Boots?

  • Anthony D.

    There is a God.

  • Reiniat

    And he does not love us.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Well…that was flaccid.

  • TrueDemosthenes

    Is this real life? Am I… am I dead? Another Plinkett? This made my year.

  • junkevil

    When is the next plinkett review?

  • GeneralGrievance

    Christmas has come early this year, fellow Plinkett-ites! About to sit down and start watching the review…It’s gonna be great

  • GeneralGrievance

    It’s gonna be great

  • GeneralGrievance

    it’s gonna be great

  • Orson Hyde

    It goes back to a thing I say… ‘If you squint and tilt your head to the side, this movie or TV show looks good. But if you have to squint and tilt your head to the side to MAKE it good, why come I can’t just watch it with my eyes open and head at a normal angle? Why isn’t it good if I’m not squinting or tilting my head? Is it because this movie or TV show is bad?’

  • GeneralGrievance

    At about the five minute mark and this review already feels like a masterpiece

  • Orson Hyde

    That ring theory nonsense has always bothered me… as well as general prequel defense… Listen, the prequels aren’t all bad. There’s some cool stuff there, but at the end of the day… There’s more bad stuff than good stuff. That makes them bad movies. The good stuff is good. The bad stuff is bad, and there’s a lot more bad… Where’s the discussion?

  • tOmy`

    Same as with many conspiracy theorists, I just admire the irony about people behind Ring Theory.

    Look at the complex, awesome and thought-through idea they created while not realizing that this very idea could be actually great if put into works and maybe, just maybe, save us from shit scripts like the movies, that this theory defends, have.

    These people go into a creative overdrive and spit nonsense on sooo many pages that they could use the same idea to create something based off this idea, put it on less pages and still hit the amount required for an actual script! Of a movie!

    But nooooo!

    I mean Jesus Christ, it’s really like with those conspiracy nuts I mentioned. It always reads like a great sci-fi concept until you realize they actually mean it.

    Well, whatever. Here comes Justice League.

  • Fred Frink

    Hark! An angel appears.

  • Mark Bisone

    Dear God, it’s here. And at this very moment, my niece is forcing me to watch Ghostbusters: the black bad one.

  • moisan4 .

    This review was the real fan service. Thank you, RLM.

  • RLMkeepitup

    i see people read too much into Stanley Kubricks works, granted he did use symbolism and left some room for theories but people read way into it.

  • SeekerLancer

    Where’s the Rogue One Plinkett Review you hack frauds?! I demand future reviews from the future of space.

  • Scott B. Smith

    That was one of Wilde’s.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Is humanity even ready? Feel like I need some one to hold my hand. Well, hold on to your butts.

  • tOmy`

    The first purple lightsaber in the universe? What kinda geeks are these people?

    Mara Jade was sporting one back in 1998.

  • Booger

    Cool video about the current state of the Stars Wars brand but where’s the Force Awakens review?

  • New Normal Bot

    If the first series of reviews woke me up to how bad the prequels really were, this one just woke me up to how utterly shit and dead the whole of pop culture is now.

    Thanks.

  • Fred Frink

    if you zoom in on frame 11/24 at 1:07:53, the patch of carpet represents ancient navaho alien landing sites. fuck that documentary

  • Regan

    What did we…..it’s been almost four years…..I for one had no idea. How did this happen? We thought he was gone. We thought we’d never see him again. We resigned ourselves to a life where all the Plinkett Reviews were in the past.

    On behalf of all who doubted this day would come, we are not worthy, RLM.

    Thank you. Thank you all so much. Life has more depth now. Birds’ songs are louder. Colors brighter. Sarcasm bitterrer.

    lolz…Thanks – loved every second of it…

  • Red Skeleton

    When’s the next Plinkett review coming out!?
    …. Oh…
    When’s Spacecop coming out!?
    …. Oh…..
    When’s…. the next BotW coming out?!!

  • RLMkeepitup

    RLM is the mary sue of mediaz

  • Red Skeleton

    They need to stop delivering three years late on their projects. I’m running out of things to bitch about.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The “thing” Plinkett’s doing gets a old at the start but the review picked up steam from me once he started doing what he does best – nitpicking, eating, and excreting. Great job, everyone, you made us hate Taco Bell!

  • GeneralGrievance

    It’s gonna be great

  • tOmy`

    I am glad Mick Mr. Plinketto Board chose this style of a review for one reason and one simple reason only. And that one reason and one simple reason only can be described as 6000 fucking comments on this webzone.

    Now say what you want about these fat lazy hack frauds, but they must have noticed that some of us (i.e. the awesome regulars) started dropping reviews of TFA just as they returned from the midnight screening, some of them (i.e. the most sexy of them all) after they sobered up a bit. It would be hard to say anything new about TFA to us, a bunch of no-life toy unboxers, who bitched, moaned, celebrated and stroked the collective dick of this movie. It took us 6000 comments to get all of this out of our system. It is a very different case and a very different internet webzone than it was when first Plinketto Board reviews came out.

    But more importantly, now, after we learned all of this (in this video that was made for educational purposes), tell me this: Is Fast & Furious franchise the only one that is steadily getting better and better and finally sitting on the throne as the best long running franchise out there? I’ll let you decide, but the answer is VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

  • GeneralGrievance

    the pizza phone sex scene took 12 years to make

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    The critic’s curse: they can tell you what a great script looks like, but can’t write one themselves.

  • tOmy`

    Fan trivia:

    One of the most popular 9/11 conspiracy theories actually did start as a movie script / book proposal. Only after the author himself realized it wouldn’t work as a book, he made an YouTube video and used the script as a “fact”.

    True story.

  • jmt

    PSA: Do NOT do an Internet search for “Movie Cum Dumpster” You won’t find a site of internet grumps complaining about movies.

    You will not like what you do find.

  • GeneralGrievance

    why’re u coming at me with weapons? Oh my gaaaaawd!

  • GeneralGrievance

    it’s gonna be great

  • JWPizzaRolls

    Always entertaining. Difficult to reconcile this Plinkett’s Force Awakens review with the Half In The Bag review… I would have liked 40 minutes more on Force Awakens, instead of a rehash of what we all hate about the prequels. What I’m really dying for, is the best Empire Strikes Back review ever from Plinkett. I want to see Plinkett’s pizza roll ejaculate all over Hoth. Seriously tho, It’d be interesting to hear Plinkett review something he actually loves.

  • GeneralGrievance

    i’d love to have pizza phone sex with her

  • tOmy`

    Sure, sure…

    *opens lube*

  • GeneralGrievance

    what’s all this talk about o-ring theory?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    If he made the video as an experimentation in form, then it’s actually a creative idea. Assuming he wrote it as fiction and not to express his “informed” opinion.

  • GeneralGrievance

    more like o-ring theory

  • Joe

    When is the next Plinkett review? You hackfrauds!

    Wait, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

  • tOmy`

    I like all these alternative ideas of the story for TFA, but it always just reminds me of one thing:

    Thrawn.

    I just feel li- Thrawn.

    Maybe JJ Abr- Thrawn.

    Thrawn, Thrawn, Thrawn.

    Oh, well. I’ll just wait for the softer reboot I guess.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    This should go on a poster:

    Is humanity even ready?

    The Plinkett Story

    Now showing in Imax and 3D

  • tOmy`

    I don’t remember the full story (nor the name of the document) but I think it was the one that dealt with the general assumption of controlled demolition. I am going to bed, but I will try to look it up tomorrow and hit you up.

  • Like Icare

    Pop culture was always shit and dead. It’s pop culture. It’s what it does.

    Taking actually insightful or artistic works of culture or subculture, making a plastic mold of it and producing a safe and dull and tasteless version of it for the masses who can’t grasp or bother to grasp actual culture or subculture that’s being distilled into artificially colored and flavored slop that they are being served with.

    Remember when science fiction, comic books, superheroes, video games, amine, menga, the internet… MEMES!!!

    When those were all subcultures with their own strange little worlds and rules that governed them?
    With rules like “NO GRULZ in ebittin rum” and you had to climb a rope ladder to get there?
    When exploring such subcultures was like stepping onto an alien planet?

    Well fuck THAT! Ain’t nobody making bajilions of cashes out of THAT and it’s hard to keep up with all the strange and incomprehensible rules like what do gun smileys REALLY look like.
    Plastics! Make it out of plastics! Simple, safe, mass produced and indigestible to humans OR animals!

    There’s a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?
    Also, 3D printing with a mobile app on a drone with internet of things. With a kickstarter.

    There’s a future in that too.

  • Like Icare

    Yeah but she was a GRRRUUULLL!!!
    So it don’t count.

  • Like Icare

    See? This is why everyone needs Google Glasses!

    Also, for porn.

  • New Normal Bot

    Calm down.

  • Like Icare

    That’s nothing.
    People should have seen the shapes and characters I was seeing on the polished concrete floor of my bathroom while taking a shit. The kind with stone aggregate embedded in it.
    Floor, not the shit.

  • Palpatine

    Thrawn is canon again. But he’s in Star Wars: Rebels, a cartoon show on the Disney Channel.

  • RLMkeepitup

    you should review them , the passion is real!

  • RLMkeepitup

    more like a 12 sec take

  • Like Icare

    Many pizzas died to bring us that scene.

  • Like Icare

    Calm down? We’re not here to calm down!

    WE’RE HERE TO GET DOWN!
    Hoo-oo, ho-o… Hammer time!

  • Palpatine

    When’s the Plinkett review of Batman v Superman: Dawn of AIIIIIIDS coming out you hacks?! That and Ghostbusters (2016) totally deserve the Plinkett treatment.

  • Palpatine

    I’m sure we’ll get one around this time next year. And a review of Episode VIII around this time in 2018. And a review of the standalone Han Solo film in 2019. And a review of Episode IX in 2020. And a review of the standalone Obi-Wan film in 2021. And a review of Episode X in 2022. And a review of the standalone Boba Fett film in 2023. And review of Episode XI in 2024. And a review of the standalone Darth Vader film in 2025. And a review of Episode XII in 2026. And it all ends with a review of the standalone film Yoda in 2027. And who knows? They’ll most likely make Star Wars movies after that for many years to come!

    tl;dr version: We’re gonna have a new Plinkett Star Wars review every year until the end of time!

  • Rick_Berman

    I Liked the Star Wars culture update as it pertains to what Plinkiss would talk/rant about, Since he didn’t have much to say about TFA. Also it seems like Mike was writing a lot of this during the Ghostbusters Sexism hot button topic.

  • GeneralGrievance

    ah man Plinkett said “butthole eyes”…greatest Plinkett review to date

  • RLMkeepitup

    an earnest attempt to compete with the marvel universe and far more intricately planned out than his last bowel movement

  • RLMkeepitup

    i caught episode 2(3?) on tv the other night. the cg looked worse than I remember. this includes ugly closeups of troopers or boba fett, its like why didnt you film that? Guess Lucas was bold in what he could get away with

  • BT11

    He didn’t really break down the film like he did in the other reviews but it was still pretty awesome and hilarious as usual.

  • BT11

    It’s always on fxx or spike or wtv….the cgi looks really bad. Like embarrassingly bad.

  • Joelist

    Not bad. It took too long to get to the film but not bad.

  • DanceOfBirther

    A Plinkett review is released and Denver beats Tampa. A coincidence? I think not!

  • why_wolf

    Pretty good but your choice to more generally talk about the whole situation around Star Wars itself removed focus so you just kind of wander around like a crazy old man or your standard youtube movie commentator.

    Anyways I agree Finn/Rey subplot was weirdly lacking. I think it was because they were going out of their way to avoid the standard “save the princess” story line. But why they didn’t just flip it to “save the prince” instead is beyond me.

    Surprised you didn’t talk about everyone’s primary complaint, Rey being overpowered.

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s worth the wait. Mike takes on Jorge Lucas, the Star Wars Ring Theory, the RLM copycat reviewers, the prequel revisionists (strongly suggesting they were paid off by Disney, which was trying to juice its $4 billion purchase), Disney, and then, finally, The Farce Awakens, admitting exactly what I felt, that it was on first impression a fun, competent movie, but then realizing that it was a huge missed opportunity, that it was a flaccid reboot, and that we’re doomed to decades of soulless sequels.

    In other words, it was a fun evening.

  • GeneralGrievance

    just finished watching the review…it’s a must-watch…all 1 hour and 45 minutes of it! Hey Plinkett, I sent u my social security number, my full name and address and my date of birth and now i’m really looking forward to those pizza rolls

  • GeneralGrievance

    if Plinkett ever gets hired to make a star wars movie it’ll be Episode 69: The Empire Blows Back…it’ll make up for all the lack of sex in all the 68 previous episodes

  • Percy Gryce

    Not to mention a few nods in our direction: one that leaps to mind is Mr. Plinkett’s lauding Milwaukee but then remembering that he lives in New Jersey.

    All in all, some healthy FAN SERVICE.

  • Variant

    Wooooo

  • Hilary Manfat

    This Plinkett review is basically just a rehashed soft reboot of the old Plinkett Star Wars reviews.

  • Um. Kind of a let down. Without indignation its really just kind of talking about Star Wars. Plinkett reviews are better when there’s raw hatred on the menu.

  • Variant

    Is ring theory the long-term plan of lowering expectations?

  • Variant

    Am I the only one who started moshing hard to that “actual jazz”? Kids these days

  • Bubs

    Yipeeeeee!

  • HG

    Pretty good.

    Although this is more a review of pop culture, Star Wars and retardati… i mean fandom as whole, than only a review of The Farce Awakens.

  • HG

    It is like poetry, it rhymes.

    Hopefully it will work.

  • Variant

    I noticed that, but that’s better if you ask me. There’s not much to talk about with the movie itself. It’s a moooovie.

  • pvyuki

    kids don’t give a fuck? why? cause you didn’t give a fuck, MR. PLINKETT?? A WHITE MAN!!

  • >you just kind of wander around like a crazy old man

    Well… Plinkett is exactly that

  • instant relief

    Meh.

  • 9th-Dimensional Secret Self

    Much like porn, the really good stuff starts about halfway through.

  • SUPERMAD

    How is this not the top trending item on Facebook???

  • CapedBaldy

    Watched it twice. “Sausage in my crusty dough hole” is the best.

  • Uncle Dan

    Welp. It’s up and already the YouTube comments are horrible.

  • Uncle Dan

    Considering early 2000s CGI maybe it’s not the worst idea. At least they’re consistent instead of a stark contrast between real and CG.

  • Variant

    Because they didn’t pay facebook large sums of money.

  • Variant

    Keep dumpin those clips, Plinkett. Don’t ever stop shooting.

  • Uncle Dan

    Like it or not, that’s how it is now. We’ll see where it goes.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    when is the next Re:View ?

  • Variant

    Nobody cares about Plinkett reviews you FUCKS! Everybody wants more Pre Rec, and a ton of Max Landis!

  • Variant

    Why would they? If a child forms a bias based on skin tone that is usually the fault of an adult somewhere along the way I would imagine.

  • Notorious W.O.R.M

    Ugh, I was really hoping this time Plinkett would be a Maori woman. Why don’t you get an Oscar nomination, you old white male fuck?!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “And Much Much More…” – L I A R S.

  • Notorious W.O.R.M

    Jeez, looking at the Youtube comments, it seems like most people are doing this anti-SJW thing unironically.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The reaction videos for this should be priceless.

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    the force awakens kinda reminds me of the macarena, remember that, when everybody felt the need to get a hula hoop and jump about like some kind of asshole, it was like a thing i guess,,, p.s. i blame kirk cameron, or was it james cameron, was it with camerons

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I blame the guys in the fancy penthouses.

  • Palpatine

    It was Cameron Mitchell.

  • SUPERMAD

    Well . . .

    . . . this doesn’t have quite the same insight and thorough breakdown that made the prequel reviews so enjoyable. Maybe because the movie is better and there’s less of a plot to sift through, but I think there’s a lot more to criticize in regards to Rey, Snoke, Leia, Maz, and Luke especially (the biggest missed opportunity of all is that Luke didn’t show up during the film’s climax).

    There countless other dumb things that Plinkett only skims the surface of. I understand the need to point out – and be wary and judgmental of – the new corporate model of churning out product after product – but there’s a failed movie in there to talk about, too, and I wish Plinkett had spent more time on it.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Okay, so I don’t know if it was a race thing or a lady thing but I’m mad as h*ll. They just had to dump on poor old Nass. I am a legitimate character in the Star Wars universe. I acted the f**k out of Phantom Menace.

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    but did it have lava in it,,,, that’s the question

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    plink is an antitoadite

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    ghostbusters 2016 was the unfunniest movie ever made and yes i’ve seen the master of disguise

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Classic YT: “nazis are evil, black men are dateable for white women and women are strong leaders. That is star wars force awakens.”

    105 upvotes

    EVEN I’M TRIGGERED!

    Gotto…… dump……. on…. popculture……. hnnngh…. aaah… take that gayfeminazis&SJWs.

    And here I am old Nass, an old complainytoad. Oh well, I’ll be on the bridge hanging my self. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

  • yokoyes

    I am saddened. In terms of the the Redlettermedia mythos, this rambling, dull and crass critique is the equivalent of the Star Wars prequels.

  • yokoyes

    Absolutely, if she’s so utterly fucking great at everything now, where can she possibly go in the countless fucking sequels to come?

  • ElectricPrism

    Then I guess their original points are as valid now as they were

  • ElectricPrism

    Fsck off papyrus

  • ElectricPrism

    Drink some bleach and you’ll be free in the blink of an eye.

  • Variant

    I disagree entirely with the notion that he should have spent more time dissecting the scenes. Because the scenes themselves in The Force Awakens aren’t really puzzling like in the Prequels… you get what they’re trying to convey. You might disagree with the execution or have your own imagining of how they could have made it better-er, but you still got the point of the scenes and they were at least somewhat competently constructed. In the Prequels almost every line of dialogue makes no sense, that’s why it’s fun to dissect. It’s the only thing that adds fun to an otherwise lifeless cartoon. A look at the bigger picture is kind of refreshing.

  • pvyuki

    Sometimes it’s nice to see someone with similar features or background as you. They may not take it as seriously as adults, but I can tell you as an ethnic minority, when I was a kid, it was nice to see characters like me from time to time. I don’t consider that as a “bias” against anyone, just basic human nature. If you are white, you probably aren’t familiar with that feeling since you saw lots of characters like yourself in almost every genre. (which is what my original comment was about… did you get it?)

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    i just wonder what the starving kids in africa thought of this movie

  • Variant

    But you are basing that notion off a preconception that there ISN’T diversity in movies already. I’m not saying “plug a bunch of white folk into star wars”, I’m just saying that when casting a movie it should be more reliant on the actor’s ability, the choices shouldn’t be limited just so that every single quotia is filled. That feels very “factory contructed”. I don’t even have a problem with anyone on the cast I’m just saying that for the sake of a movie – if diversity in movies isn’t currently a huge problem – then is this something we really need to combat by limiting casting choices? But no, please, let’s make this about me being WHITE

  • Adzl33t

    I missed this while I was binged Luke Cage, and I’m working tommorow, ehhh I could watch this, I binged Stranger Things til dawn

    Personally I would have perferred this retrospective review much later with the whole new trilogy as context, I mean this Plinkett review was hyped for a while, did Mike scrapped another review?

  • Variant

    Pretty sure I saw Shaft when I was like 4 so I don’t know I think you’re kind of boxing me in here

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    i much like porn also, only, i can’t say i ever made it to halfway, I’m usually done in the first 5 minutes

  • pvyuki

    Huh? I don’t know what you mean by the first sentence? Are you black? I never said you were, just responding to your comments… Yeah man, I agree, my original comment was about 1 specific comment by Mr. Plinkett, not the whole concept of diversity in film… I mean, our concept of race is a product of our environment, so it is not an either-or scenario… I was one of the few non-white people in my town. If I was in a different, more diverse environment, maybe I wouldn’t care so much about who I saw on TV, though I imagine even if I saw more people around me like me, it would still be exciting to also see more people like me on TV .

  • Down Under Aussie (in Aus)

    I don’t give a shit about any millennial click-bait prequel columns, wish you hadn’t given that stuff the time of day in your review and then only go on to halfheartedly shut them down, seemed like a waste of time. You already made your case in the prequel reviews, no one here is disagreeing with what you’re saying, so why give these losers 45 precious minutes of review time??

    Part 3 was really good.

  • Variant

    Sorry that was a bad opener – what I meant was that there’s always been diversity on my TV screen – but I also have parents who watch a shitload of movies of all types and genres so I wasn’t really thinking bigger picture in like hollywood wide release type stuff. No, I’m definitely “white” with a little bit of mexican in my bloodline, but probably because even white kids always picked on me for being even paler than they are color-wise sometimes I take comments that generalize my growing up as white a little personally. I wasn’t being very clear and also a little aggro, so sorry about that

  • pvyuki

    No worries. I can see where you’re coming from esp. if people made fun of you for being pale… so I think we basically have the same reaction to seeing folks like us in the media, in a sense 🙂

  • Variant

    Thanks for understanding 🙂

  • Buk Pravon

    I loved it. It was everything I hoped it would be.

    Well done, Mr. Plinkett. 🙂

  • 45 minutes about The Ring Theory and Buzzfeed listicles?

    You were punching down for no reason during that section (I hadn’t even heard of The Ring Theory) but it was still entertaining.

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    the ring theory is something you learn at the manhole

  • the_great_laertes

    IMHO Campbell was a rambling kook whose ideas were based on debunked Freudian pseudoscience and a pareidolic obsession with finding patterns where none exist.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Odd thing about pizza rolls… they’re the only foodish item I am aware of that taste better when cooked in a microwave than in an oven.

    At least in my opinion.

    I also thought there was a missed opportunity with a Finn and Rey romance. It certainly seemed like that was the direction they were going early in the movie, but they just sorta dropped it and everything got sterile. At least until the Poe/Finn bromance started up. I wonder if there was supposed to be a Finn/Rey thing going on but during production Disney found out that China would ban it if that happened so it was cut out. Can’t miss out on that sweet, sweet, China market.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Shut the fucking door!

    I’m trying to do the macarena in here.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Plinkett reviews are replacing HitB.

  • Joe Syxpac

    She didn’t shoot force lightning yet. So we got that to look forward to.

    Maybe she’ll get a puffy monster face to go with it.

  • Joe Syxpac

    It’ll be great.

  • Spoiled Ants

    12:25 always cracks me up when Lucas is staring for an hour at Dexter Jettster, which the sculptor probably modeled after George, such a meta moment.

  • John Bigbootay

    Well…..talked about everything but the elephant in the room. I’m surprised there was no criticism about a main character who can handle everything and save everyone. Loses a bit of tension. I guess that’s their way of being different rom ANH, where Luke gets beaten up by a sand person and constantly saved by other people and robots.

    Liked the first half, though.

  • instant relief

    JAWS?!

  • Cakefarts

    Your attack is as misguided as the attack on Iraq. The villain is always Rick Berman.

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    dun dun….. dun dun….. dun dun dun dun

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Pretty much. Instead of actually attacking the heavy issues with the movie he complains about things like the lack of romance. Did he got sentimental after he chopped up Jessi and left her next to Bambi?

  • instant relief

    Welcome back?!! :O

  • Jon

    Once again, Plinkett is priceless 🙂

  • What happened to your boobs?

  • instant relief

    We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

  • I feel like Mike wasn’t on top of his game. Truth be told, this movie really didn’t feel like it deserved a Plinkett treatment. Then again, it’s like with TFA itself, it couldn’t have matched the hyped up expectations.

    I’ve said it numerous times but a movie that would truly make good Plinkett material is Man of Stool.

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    it’s like they say in instanbul, what’s wrong with your fez

  • bleurgh

    He’s never actually going to get to TFA is he?

  • He does get to it, eventually.

  • Paul Richards

    Thank you, thank you, thank you

  • instant relief

    Hey, pssst. Wanna know where you can buy the best drugs? Click on my profile and follow the white rabbit to the Amazing Tapeworld, ifyaknowimsayin. *wink wink nudge nudge*

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    is there an echo in here… in here…. in here… well it’s pretty much dead, i think it’s time to turn the light off and the cat out… goodnight

  • bleurgh

    I don’t agree with the sexless criticism to be honest. People in real life are hardly trying to fuck every person they interact with. Why should characters in fiction be different? People can just be friends or associates. It baffles me that most hollywood blockbusters are non-stop fuck parties where everyones trying to get their fuck on constantly, even when they’re in the middle of life or death situations and have more pressing matters to think about.

  • IRONMANAustralia

    I always disliked ‘The Force Awakens’, and could not understand the shade-too-positive reviews, since it suffers from similar problems to the Abrams Star Trek movies. There are some interesting ideas in there, it has its moments, and doesn’t totally undermine any future potential, but overall it’s basically an emotional flatline of relatively meaningless bullshit. Just a bunch of almost nobodies in a galaxy far, far away doing ‘stuff’ for a couple of hours. It’s not as bad as the prequels, but it’s still a walking shadow of Star Wars, a poor player that struts and frets its hour upon the stage, that you think of no more the second you leave the cinema. A tale told by a literal idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

    Rey is boring as fuck. I don’t give two shits about her life and struggles. I don’t wonder about her past, or have a burning desire to see her future, that of her friends, or the universe she lives in like I did with the original movies, and ultimately that’s the biggest problem here.

    Something I don’t hear discussed is that the aesthetic is off-the-mark too. Which is to say it’s ugly, and not in a good gritty realism kinda way, a genre commensurate way, or even I think an artistically intentional way. It’s bad enough you have to tolerate Princess Marlboro, (and that would be understandable and acceptable if it was the only less-than-pleasant aesthetic in this film), but there’s a constant assault of off-putting imagery reminiscent of the worst the prequels had to offer. It reaches a crescendo of awful at one point. I distinctly remember being yanked out of the film, to find myself sitting in my seat looking at a 35 foot screen with a close up of CGI-nightmare Maz Buttholeface.

    No. No. No.

    You can’t continually assault the viewer with downright ugliness before it all starts adding up to a truly unpleasant experience. This is a visual medium after all, and there’s a reason young attractive people generally play leading roles and do better in Hollywood. Of course nobody ever said Steve Buscemi’s face spelled the downfall of a film all on its own, and all films aren’t going for that aesthetic or even work that way, but for a general audience you probably don’t want every creature to look like it was made by a drunk Stan Winston for a horror movie.

    The Star Wars universe always had that kinda seedy weird backdrop to some degree, but the creatures got dialled up and pushed more into the foreground in the prequels and that wasn’t a good thing. You want attractive heroes surrounded by, and occasionally interacting with, odd creatures – not have that uncanny valley shit shoved right in your face.

    The attempts at humour were bad, and that creature on the Millennium Falcon reminds me of the slapstickish Star Trek scene where Chris Pine is running around the ship with puffy hands. Pfft!

    It’s like all the components are there but they just haven’t managed to make me give a fuck. The not-stopping-for-a-breath, oh-its-a-death-star-let’s-blow-it-up-yay-we-did-it shit didn’t help either. Totally missing the tension of that same sequence of events in ‘A New Hope’, which is actually worse than not doing it at all.

    Some aspects like that are in fact so bad, I feel like Data in ‘Generations’:

    Data: “I believe this movie has provoked an emotional response.”

    La Forge: “Really? What do you feel?”

    Data: “I am uncertain. Because I have been so abused by George Lucas’ prequel movies and since this movie is not as bad as those I am unable to … articulate the sensation.”

    Disney: “It sounds like he hates it.”

    Data: “Yes. That is it. I hate this! Yes. I hate this! It is revolting!”

    Disney: “More?”

    Data: “Please.”

  • IRONMANAustralia

    It’s not even necessarily that. Nor is sex all about physical contact and fucking. It’s can just about the reaction any red-blooded person has when a half-attractive person of the opposite sex enters the room.

    There’s part of your brain that is damn well aware of it and you act accordingly. When you don’t see that dynamic on screen you don’t necessarily notice the difference with real life, but your brain did.

    Basically think about all the day-to-day crap that Feminist idiots complain about and the regimented, unfun, sex-inert gulag their ideology would actually result in, and you’ll understand the difference.

    REAL PEOPLE DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!

  • Yes. More Prolapsed Rectums!
    I’m sure Plinkett’s own rectum must have prolapsed and collapsed after that diarrhoea.

  • Matthew

    Mike has said before it’s not an entirely bad film, hence the focus on the wider Star Wars monster which has grown since the last review.

  • Matthew

    Because Mike already covered everything, seeing as Force Awakens is just a complete remake of all previous Star Wars films. Nothing new to add, so better to focus on the wider crap around it.

  • Mr.Fister

    “which the sculptor probably modeled after George” – so true! ;D

  • Hence my opinion that this really didn’t warrant a Plinkett Review.

  • Percy Gryce

    That’ll be great.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    I always liked the prequels. Plenty of light saber battles. Many unique locations. Cool back story to the Jedi. I liked the part when Anakin turned evil. I liked how Palpatine found a way to create the empire. Good films. Good times. George has earned the right to eat salad. A+

  • MonkeyKing1969

    Also, YES, the movies need more teasing sexuality. These are supposed to be pulp serials cleaned up. We need a woman in a metal bikini, we need a bare chested man straining against chains, and we need some ‘cigars’ that are but really cigars. It will ALL go over kids heads anyway, don’t worry.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    That’s why I love the prequels. Preggo Padme hotpaint. OH MY!

  • tOmy`

    So I analysed this review with a bunch of Syrian refugees and we all agreed that concentration camps in Turkey are much nicer.

    But I also realized what is the biggest issue with this review. No, it’s not Mike, Plinkett or general lack of talent all across the board, it’s Jack Packard. Now this bald-ass motherf-

    The second biggest problem is the movie itself. I mean what else is there to say about it? And here is the kicker: I gave it a thought as I was transporting young Syrian refugees into German brothels and came to a conclusion I’d rather watch Episode 1 and Episode 3 over TFA. There is just much more to talk about! And no, they aren’t better by any stretch of imagination of circles within circles, TFA is just lukewarm, while these two are a glorious shitfest. No, I am not joking. I tried rewatching TFA and killed it off somewhere around the moment Sue hid in the wall of Starkiller Base.

    What was that wall? What’s happening?

    And I never looked back. I also vaguely remember the initial response to TFA Plinketto teaser. People were like “Huh?” and “What?” and “TFA, really?”. I mean it’s logical, but you could see the surprise, very similar to the surprise of Syrian families as I left them at the Turkish border and hightailed it back with their children still in my van, screaming.

    Don’t get me wrong, I am glad Plinketto Board is back and I would love to see more! I had fun watching this. But part of me thinks that Matrix sequels or for example Star Track: Into Darkness would be much better. As far as I remember, one of you is a bit of a fan.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    This was solid.

    I actually liked the first half better, before the review proper begins. All that ring theory/people desperately trying to cast the prequels in a positive light stuff was totally new to me.

    I know these films are near and dear to Mike’s heart, but I just don’t think “The Force Awakens” is that interesting. Definitely not enough to warrant a dissection.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Then you should watch the prequels. The films even give a back story to Darth Vader. I just love them. Redeem Star Wars.

  • Percy Gryce

    Master of Disguise is the best worst movie from which I regularly quote lines. Mrs. Gryce particularly likes it when I do the Terry Suave bit about “This is what you’re doing, and this is what I want you to do.” Plus Data is the villian.

  • tOmy`

    I actually watched them quite recently.

    They hold up very well, they are still as terrible as I remember them. But yet again, finishing AoC proved to be beyond my capabilities.

    I also give them Goonga Seal of Approval.

  • Mr.Fister

    Honestly, I miss the harsh, somethimes shocking humor of the old Plinkett. No catfucking, no pizzarolls…no killing hookers…however if you put all these things in a review it would be a boring repetition of the old. So you need to come up with new stuff…this leads to anger…and anger leads to…fuck that…plikett will never be the same and Star Wars won’t be the same just as South Park got different…what J. J. Abrams did well is to sprinkle enough of this old spice all over the new Star Wars so it gave as this warm cosy feeling

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Terrible? Sir, you should not joke like that. Sure Han Solo is not in it. If that is why you don’t like it. But I think it could be just too much fun if he was in there. It is a darker trilogy after all.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Dana Carvey is a genius.

  • tOmy`

    If you weren’t fencing all the time and spending days on a cool tour with your cool band and come to check on us once in a while, you would know about Ring Theory!

  • Adzl33t

    Eh after Lego Movie deconstructing Joseph Campbell, I see how using his themes for plot writing is pretty shoddy

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I say hi from time to time!

    Plus I have a real job now and it sucks!

  • tOmy`

    Sellout!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    My favorite parts are of the review are when he goes after Hollywood for being exploitative, and the general corporate feel these films have started to have.

    I feel like most web critics – such as Cinema Rectum – have avoided this entirely or are wilfully ignortant about it, at fear of conceding control of the pop culture narrative and having their toys taken away.

  • Gallen Dugall

    Most of what’s wrong with the prequels is wasted opportunities, but they advanced new film technology so they are important films. Most of what’s wrong with TFA is that it’s unambitious, bland and inoffensive, but it made money.
    If Rey isn’t revealed as the one who wiped out the nuJedi in episode VIII it will only be because it got rewritten. She’s not a Mary Sue, she’s a power fantasy caricature copy pasted from Knights of the Old Republic.

  • Adzl33t

    As millenial, I’m not that impressed with the prequels, but also I notice more flaws with Star Wars as a whole

    The first Star Wars movie works so well as a complete movie, but as the series go on I find the world buidling quite weak
    Like the politics even with the first triliogy very shallow, and philosophy of the force kinda weak yet convoluted, which gets worse with the prequels, especially with the notion of a chosen one, which was not focused on the original trilogy

    JJ didn’t fixed Star Wars, Dave Filoni did, he gave the clonetroopers personalities, explained the politics and stakes much better, and showed different force users not Jedi or Sith

    Which is why I don’t like Star Wars that much, it’s about Jedis being special snowflakes particulary the Skywalker family, Rey is not the only Mary Sue, I consided all Jedis Mary Sues, also I’m not sympathetic with Jedis as religious stooges for broken bureacracy that forced children to join, I hope for more neutral force users with the franchise

    The most JJ did is new effects and added more ladies and brown people at the background, just patchwork for an old franchise

  • Variant

    Me too! I knew I couldn’t have been the only one. I was really glad this went in a different direction than just “scene by scene dissection”. That’s always fun, but it’s more fun to watch Plinkett evolve and look at the broader picture. After all, if one of the things he’s complaining about is repetition, he’d be a bit of a hypocrite to do the exact same thing every time.

  • GeneralGrievance

    The “Black guy with a gun” joke didn’t work…there’s a lot of European Americans with guns, just look at the NRA…now a “cop with a gun” joke, on the other hand, probably would be about as “fun” as a lynching “joke”, but at least it’s more grounded in reality

  • Adzl33t

    The big problem I have with the Star Wars franchise is too much focused on the Skywalker family, that family get more and more special as the franchise goes on, it makes the setting seem more smaller to me

  • Variant

    Seeing how I also didn’t laugh at that, I’m assuming he’s just continuing the characterization that Plinkett is a dirty old racist man. I’m a bit over it, the shock humor that is. I feel like it’s just there now for all the people who want “old Plinkett” style reviews full of shock humor and long-winded dissections.

  • Frocto

    Is Mr. Plinkett replacing Plinketto?

  • Kayla Genereux

    My Pizza roll has arrived! Thanks RLM for entertaining me for hours on end.

  • BilboBaggins

    I lost my soul at the part where almost every single Star Wars mask character onstage at Disneyland, dancing to the worst of pop music in the past 5–6 years.

  • That other guy

    It’s because the RLM guys aren’t getting those Hollywood suck-up paychecks. I guarantee that they would be singing a very different tune if they were getting paid by Hollywood to make their reviews. Always follow the money.

  • Adzl33t

    Ok if I can be a stereotypical millenial, I don’t need to see a forced hetronormative romance subplot with my Disney movies, a man and a woman can just be friends

    Sure like Mike I have my Disney OTP’s, NickxJudy FTW, but I don’t think romance was that needed just for the sake of romance especially if I can just read fanficition

  • bleurgh

    Or watch porn.

  • That other guy

    I think this video should have been two seperate reviews. One review on the soulless Hollowood corporate machine, and another video reviewing the actual movie. Sure, Episode 7 wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t terrible. It was a solid Star Wars sequel. Maybe I’m just jaded by all the West-coast pseudo-intellectual hipster wannabes trying to tell me the prequels were good, but I’m actually looking forward to Rogue One more than Episode 8. It just seems to me that Disney is at least giving the critical jobs of movie making to people that have an appreciation for Star Wars as a whole and not just the franchise. Then again, that’s just my opinion, which is why I don’t make movie reviews on YouTube.

  • IRONMANAustralia

    The other thing that bugs me about this movie is what I call “universe shrinkage”.

    In the first movie you have the distinct impression that you’re only seeing a very thin slice of a much larger galaxy with innumerable species, planets, languages, and technology. It’s not explicitly stated, but you kinda assume that Chewbacca is far from home, hanging out with Han Solo and you don’t expect to see many more Wookies. Luke himself admits Tatooine is an outlying shithole nobody cares two craps about so why would you ever see that again? Likewise, when Darth Vader mentions the rebel fleet massing near Sullust, you assume that’s just some shitty remote system selected from millions of possible tactical locations you’re unlikely to hear about ever again.

    Your imagination can run wild about what these strange planets might be like, and it’s cool that this is happening in a universe so big that entire systems, planets, and species are of such unimportance in the big picture that expect to only see a single instance of them. If you do, you need a damn good reason, (like Solo owing Jabba).

    But then fan-boy writers, (or senile George Lucas), when in control of creating subsequent material, just can’t resist fucking that up by expanding on the existing material inappropriately at the expense of the wider universe. We wind up seeing whole planets of Wookies which seem to needlessly be of pivotal importance. We see the same ships over and over, when your brain knows very well that you could grab two random people off any street on Earth and there’s a good chance they’d have a different make and model of cellphone.

    It shrinks what used to feel like a rich exciting galaxy, down to the size and variety of a fucking fan convention.

  • bleurgh

    Right, but Finn did ask if Rey had a boyfriend. If that isn’t evidence of the character acting differently then I don’t know what is.

  • HG

    There also the fact that in a such big and diverse universe, everyone seems to be related to each other.

    Enough with the fucking Skywalkers, do something different.

  • Adzl33t

    Eh like George Lucas, Mike hyped a sequel that he supposedly planned for a while, I think Mike scrapped a review (when’s my Airbender review?), and join the clickbait Star Wars bandwagon

    Sure there was some neat discussions, those at times may seem obvious and unfocused, like that ring stuff could have been way shorter, myaybe talked the hatchet order of watching the movie 4, 5, 2, 3, 6

    But whatever as this series go on the more I see flaws with the franchise, the politics are confusing, unexplored potential of other kinds of force users not Jedis or Sith, simplistic philosophy, Jedis basically as Mary Sues, chosen one movies narratives that been tired for me since Lego Movie deconstructed those movies, too much focused on the Skywalker family

    Dave Filonis kinda fixes these problems with Star Wars Rebels and Clone Wars, or better written like the Airbender series

    Personally I would like this series to end

  • Adzl33t

    I’m so tired of the Skywalker family, they get more important as the series go on

  • Chowderbatter

    What the shit balls and hell balls shit and shit is going on with that man’s “neck?”

    That fucking thing should have its own cinematic universe.

  • Chowderbatter

    In 1977, I saw Star Wars 13 times.

    George…

    You can never take that away from me, though you’ve spent decades trying.

  • IRONMANAustralia

    Well I wouldn’t so much have a problem with that because these are the characters we are following in their own little sliver of that larger galaxy. Like I said, Han owes Jabba, so that’s an actual reason to go back to Tatooine, but if writers are just mentally stuck in the little box we already know, then that’s exactly what it feels like.

    A great example of not doing that is the planet Hoth in Empire. It wasn’t mentioned in the first one. It’s a planet the Rebels specifically selected for being almost unlivable and some shit-arse planet the Empire was never likely to think they were on. They didn’t even know enough about it to know there were ice monsters on it or how to adapt their tech.

    Perfect. You’d need a galaxy that big with a shit-ton of planets like that to have any hope of evading Darth Vader’s Galactic Empire, right? And if you’re discovered you bail, go somewhere else, and never look back.

    But I’d lay money we’re going to see it again, and even Hoth isn’t cold enough that some unimaginative fuck can’t suck all the cool out of that entire planet.

  • HG

    You can bet your ass that we are going to see Hoth again, but it will be an ice planet called Not-Hoth.

    You know, just like Jakku ended up being Not-Tatooine.

  • Adzl33t

    Not sure your being sarcastic about the girls thing

    But I’m interested with a more inclusive pop culture, not by corporate try hards like Sony’s Ghostbusters second guessing how to make their movies more marketable to younger diverse crowds, but by marginalized people themselves having their own unique culture, that’s fun and intersting as outsiders like those old school white geeks

    Something like Steven Universe, a much more sexual show than Star Wars 7 made by a bisexual woman is more interesting than coporationtized Star Wars

    I’m kinda excited if kids can build on Star Wars which something different rather than make new Star Wars

    That’s why I like the Airbender series, it felt like a logical evolution of the themes, structure, and culture of Star Wars, let the old manbabies have their collectables, let’s move on

  • IRONMANAustralia

    Well that’s a separate issue, and to be fair there is justification for that, with the force being strong in the Skywalker family, (fuck midi-chlorians, I’m pretending that didn’t happen la-la-la-la-la), and one of them ruling the Galactic Empire with an iron fist, and the other saving it by blowing up a Death Star an’ all, so that’s a good enough reason to follow them, but yeah the Skywalker genes seem to be getting a little diluted these days.

  • Adzl33t

    I’m dissapointed they didn’t have Cad Bane yet, who should also be at Rogue One

  • IRONMANAustralia

    Heh, you could be right about that.

    Though one of the things I’ll give Lucas credit for is he really does come up with some cool names and words that sound totally alien, yet somehow believable. I’m thinking that, along with what I talk about above, plus the marketing factor, we’ll see pretty much everything by name again at some point.

  • Adzl33t

    Oh I think kids are much more racially minded now than before, Mike is just an old white guy

    I means kids may care less about specifics of a character’s race, but as they grow with more diverse surroundings, an all white people movie may be so much of a disconnect for them to watch

  • Adzl33t

    Eh But Steven Universe a show SJW like is very sexual

  • Adzl33t

    Eh Jeids just be more Mary Sue as the series went on, there was no chosen one family narrative with the original movie

    But unlike Furiosa, Rey character is vahue to me and inconsistent, watch Spoilers Ahead spoof vid on Star Wars

  • Adzl33t

    Movies are more fun to me when it’s a bunch random events and people that joined together with little circumstance

    Not with Amazing Spiderman, Star Trek reboot, Ninja Turtles, Jungle Book, which have forced convoluted back stories for what should be simple plots just to make it more “personal” “epic” and “complex” when it’s just cheap writing

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    As far as the diversity thing goes, I’m ok with Mike going there as it’s something many would eschew, but it’s a discussion that’s worn me out many times over.

    If you don’t have a diverse cast, you’re-tone deaf.

    If you do have a diverse cast, you’re cynical and doing it to appease touchy Tumblr people.

    So the only sensible answer to me was to stop giving a shit.

  • the new transported man

    Well, that sucked a fat dick.

  • I don’t think that’s terrible though, as long as you treat it like what it is. There will always be subcultures and there will always be pop culture, just like they’ll always be indie bands and pop music and restaurants and fast food.
    Enjoy it for what is, have a healthy diet of fast food and good food and you’ll be fine.
    Like you said it’s always been like this, niche entertainment isn’t going away you just have to search it out… Like you always had to.
    The only difference might be as you’re getting old you have less time to find the niche, weird cult things in life and it’s easier to just complain about pop culture.

  • Chuck Afterburner

    When they made the first movie it was just a simple action adventure with groundbreaking special effects, I don’t think Star Wars was meant to have Tolkein levels of rich world building. Really it’d be a good time to hang up Star Wars but wool too late, well it’d be a good time to end movies in general, or the world.

  • spacecarp

    Rich Evans as Jay Bauman? As if!

  • archstanton543

    I was hoping to see the Star Trek guy and the picture of Play-doh when he said “…but your brain did”.

  • YellowBelliedChickenChick

    Yeah, I mean, I liked the movie. But I agree that it’s not really that interesting. Like it’s okay, but there’s not much to say about it really.

  • spacecarp

    I think of Mike as being beige because he wears so much khaki.

  • I have a confession to make. I watch Cinema Smegma.

  • Zach

    When’s the next Plinkett review you hack fr… oh.

  • B.J.D

    Woah! Red Dawn doesn’t stand the test of time?!?

  • Does it?

  • spacecarp

    I’m not paying for cold pizza.

  • Like Icare

    “NO GRULZ” and rope ladder to the the editing room are RLM references. I.e. It’s a running joke.

    I also had a much longer reply beyond this, but Disqus ate it.

    Alas, you will now forever be denied the wisdom of my words, now lost to the winds of the Internet.

  • B.J.D

    Of course, how does killing commies ever get old?

  • spacecarp

    Can we blame him?

  • IRONMANAustralia

    Well you can be explicit and still do it wrong. Banner and Romanoff talk for like ten minutes straight about their romantic prospects in ‘Age of Ultron’ and I wasn’t buying that dreck either.

    Speaking of which, the subtler Vision/Maximoff thing comes off more convincing and compelling in relation to the above.
    For example: Vision, (normally reserved), is so quick to say, “We would protect you.”, during the meeting in response to Maximoff’s remark about the law coming after her. Beyond the more conspicuous protective impulse implied, that’s also a real conversational phenomenon; where you pay more attention to what the object of your interest has to say and respond more often to them than other people in the group, (without necessarily realising it). So that kind of dialogue just comes off as more human, (ironically).

  • Variant

    Didn’t they remake it or something? I can’t imagine what they changed the plot to in this age

  • Like Icare

    They did. And the remake sucked.

  • spacecarp

    Osho! I’ve missed you.

  • Variant

    I’m sure it did. I was more curious what they got away with making the villain out to be, since the cold war is a thing of the past, and villainizing North Korea is unacceptable.

  • J Burrello Submarine

    Several friends have posted about the Ring Theory thing. I don’t get it.

    Even if it were all true and Lucas was using some formula, it doesn’t make the films any more watchable. Someone could know the structure of a persuasive essay but still write a terrible paper.

  • B.J.D

    They did remake it and it was as bad as you could imagine.

  • Variant

    Oh wow they did do North Korea. So The Interview was boycotted but not that?

  • Like Icare

    It was EDITED into being about North Korea.
    Originally it was supposed to be about China.

    Whatever you may have to say about the original, at least it didn’t pull its punches for the sake of money.

  • YellowBelliedChickenChick

    Actually, a lot of people do make porn for their OTPs. In fact, I kind of feel like smut of one’s OTP has become overrated because while I do enjoy seeing it for certain pairings of mine, I prefer to see cutesy and funny stuff of them. Since unlike with sexy times, I pretty much want to see all my pairings being happy together. But with sexy times, I only want to see that happen with some of my pairings, especially since my other ships have kids in them. Plus I never have to kinkshame a drawing of my OTP cuddling or trying to be romantic and looking like a total dork instead.

  • Variant

    Why can’t these writers/artists come up with an alien planet that actually looks alien? You know, not just some variant of what we see on Earth, but encompassing the entire globe? The Desert Planet. The ice Planet. The Snow Planet. The Lava Planet. Enough with the fucking Earth-like biomes. Throw a few in there, sure, I’m sure there will be a cold or hot planet somewhere, but whatever happened to more creative sci fi settings? I honestly prefer early Star Trek episodes when they made alien plants out of construction paper. At least they made something.

  • epigeios

    That’s the argument. That people and producers and CEOs should all stop giving a shit. Because giving a shit always takes away from the creativity.

  • Variant

    That sounds like an absolute mess

  • Variant

    Like I said, he’s really just bringing cinema full circle by bringing us back to the classic serial film. He’s just easing us into it – first he took the concept and seamlessly blended it into the cutting edge – and now he’s going full-on 40s b-movie serial where everyone just sits around in chairs.

  • HG

    Coming up with a really alien planet would require a lot of CGI.

    And nowadays i don’t trust big studio movies with CGI use.

    I would rather they keep things simple using a real set, than making something really alien that requires a shitload of CGI.

  • IRONMANAustralia

    You can tell when it’s forced, just like anything else, and that’s what makes it worthy of note.

    Nick Fury changed to a black guy?
    Meh. That works fine, and Samuel L. Jackson is perfect – almost as if they identified him as being a good candidate for a Marvel hero and picked the appropriate character that wouldn’t be totally messed up by it. Certainly beats the shit out of David Hasselhoff.

    Four shoehorned girl Ghostbusters being unfunny, acting stupid, and the director explicitly rubbing your nose in his feminist cat shit?
    Go fuck yourself.

    See? Not that hard to distinguish the two just on artistic merit.

  • Like Icare

    It’s not just killing commies.

    Milius made an impossible fantasy into a realistic depiction of a “what if” USA guerrilla warfare movie would be like.
    A story about a small, starving, band of patriots repelling a foreign invasion – which is a rather common war movie theme in other countries.
    Particularly those on the eastern side of the iron curtain.

    Only problem is… there such movies tend to be about WW2 and fighting Nazis.
    Instead of… well… “Mexicans”.
    I.e. Cubans and their “Russian overlords”.
    So, his patriotic fantasy came off kinda racist and thanks to the political climate of the time it also came off as jingoistic.

    When it’s actually a real, honest to god, US version of a partisan film.
    An anachronistic and anachoristic fantasy.

  • Red Skeleton

    Hackers may not stand the test of time but it stood up better than Angelina Jolie’s marriage. Badaboom

  • Tobacco Nass II

    *tails

    FUN FACT: First movie to feature colored people.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    In 2012. I sorta wish the world would have ended. With Bush in the White House anything is possible.

  • MichaelKz

    Lupita N’Longo being counted as part of the diverse cast was a little disingenuous. There’s a family movie set in Africa about kids learning to play chess coming out soon and it’s he first live-action acting role since 12 Years a Slave.
    Thirty years ago, that alien the Lupita played in Star Wars would’ve been played by Linda Hunt in effects make-up.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    With black Nick Fury you had precedent, too, with Ultimate Nick Fury.

    Not that you need precedent, but it was there.

    Diversity’s a positive thing, I would just appreciate fewer self-congratulatory press releases and accepting awards for it that no one is offering.

  • gatorat

    First half was great, the last half–the actual “discussion” of The Force Awakens–didn’t rise to the level of any Plinkett critique to date, let alone the genius of the review of episodes I – III. A typical best of the worst is better. I almost, gasp, shut it off out of boredom.

  • Kaingerc

    It’s interesting that a lot of the elements you said were missing in this movie were in some of the new novels.
    for example, ‘Lost Stars’ tells the story parallel to the original trilogy where the love story between two imperial officers where one of them defects and joins the Rebel Alliance.
    it has actual references to sex(don’t worry kids, nothing too explicit) and tells how that battle over Jakku went.
    but for the big budget movies, we are going to keep it safe and tell the exact same story the successful movie told and cram in as many references as possible.

  • SUPERMAD

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Gorrister

    I loved it…It was everything I hoped it would be…

  • Norm Hull

    It was great, I wanted more. Kind of like Force Awakens, more questions coming out and you didn’t give everything away.

    At the same time it seems fame has made you more corporate and sexless. Where were the tied up hookers?! Or the Lucas/JJ man-boy hatelove affair?!

  • Variant

    That’s a good point but something in my brain is telling me I’ve seen it done well before by intercutting real locations and cleverly constructed sets with CG backgrounds or matte paintings. I’m not sure if I’m thinking of a big studio production though. But I mean… the talent is there. Couldn’t they pull it off? I definitely see what you’re saying because I’m thinking back to the prequels now and how bad all their CG backgrounds were, but technology has come quite a bit further since then, and a more intelligent use of it could be put to really great effect. I still see what you’re saying, though.

  • Norm Hull

    Yeah, I really came out wanting to see more dissection of the film and comparisons to other soft reboots.

    Especially Jurassic World vs Force Awakens. Mike said before they did everything right for Force Awakens that they did wrong for Jurassic World, I was hoping for more of that comparison.

    And predictions on if Episode 8 will avoid IntoDarknessitis or will totally fall into that trap.

  • Norm Hull

    Yeah, Lucas was kinda right that there really aren’t that many big movies that star an all black cast without at least one or two white “main” characters(Glory, 12 years a slave, the Help)- but that’s largely because the writers/directors are also white. I remember people of color being excited about Red Tails and talking about it though, and it seems the Tuskegee Airmen are more well known now, so props to Lucas for at least doing that.

    I did love how Plinkett called out the movie for not having the balls to get Rey and Finn together. That’s a taboo that still exists in Hollywood.

  • Norm Hull

    With the Ghostbusters it could have been fine with an all girl cast, they just had to be funny, and make it in the same world, a “soft reboot” where Dan Akroyd makes a painful cameo. But none of that happened.

  • RLMkeepitup

    soft reboots need a hard slap in the face with a politically incorrect sized dildo. paying full price for 1/10th of a unique idea, enjoy the popcorn i guess ???

  • Chowderbatter

    Jar rhymes with jar.

    Poetry.

  • Chowderbatter

    Still waiting for the Howard the Duck prequels.

    Not joking.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Speaking of conspiracies – the Titanic popcorn bucket must be a reference to unbounded capitalism resulting in the death of creativity just as the ship’s sinking killed Plinko’s parents and an era of “innocence”. It’s no accident 9/11 truther images showed up in this review either, indicating that if the prequels can be re-assessed positively, so may other parts of history. Wheelchair wheels within wheels, my friends.

  • Norm Hull

    Yeah, the argument of the prequels expanding the universe holds a little bit of merit but is severely undermined by how much Lucas shoehorns in OT characters

  • Norm Hull

    I have mixed feelings. It’s entirely possible Disney was afraid to actually go through with an interracial relationship (though their confidence in having a black/female character suggests otherwise) – but I also see the strength in having a female lead that doesn’t have a forced romance.

  • Norm Hull

    Old plinkett wasn’t even that racist/shock humory. The Star Trek reviews really had only a few jokes about murder/gambling addictions.

  • harumph

    I thought John Boyega pulled off the humor really well. I actually laughed at most of Finn’s shtick. To me, it seemed right in line with Han’s wisecracking from the original Trilogy, except it was funnier since it wasn’t coming from cockiness. And as far as Finn’s purpose as a character, I thought it felt like they were setting him up as a Han surrogate. I think Finn has as much, if not more, potential as a character as Rey does.

  • Norm Hull

    ‘memba the early 10s? ‘memba Nadine?

  • Yezzir!

    This anal-sis of Force Awakens’ qualities is fine and all, but when is the next Plinkett review?

  • Norm Hull

    Boss Nass was probably my favorite part of Episode 1. Sometimes whimsy and slightly racist fat toads work in a film.

  • Travoltron

    Feig got greedy with Ghostbusters. TWO fat chicks? Nobody wants to see that in any culture you show this movie in.

  • EJ

    I don’t think those millenial writers were paid off by Disney. To the extent that it’s cynical, it’s just that taking any contrarian position on the internet is good for clicks, and thus good for sweet sweet ad revenue.

    More to the point, they watched the prequels as kids, and enjoyed them, and now that they’re adults and can see their obvious flaws, they’re trying to justify their affection for the films. Much the same way people, like me, who grew up with the OT and love it are willing to paper over its numerous examples of hammy acting, shitty writing, simplistic story-telling, and nonsensical plotting.

  • Norm Hull

    I liked how he touched on the Starkiller base a bit. I kinda hope they steal RLM’s idea and retcon it into being the Republic’s project stolen by the first order, an inverse Rogue One situation. Supposedly Laura Dern is gonna be in in Episode 8 as the Republic rival to Leia. That would be a perfect point of contention if she were the one who secretly created it Section 31 style. Maybe make her a fellow alderaan survivor who fears peace.

  • Travoltron

    Yeah. You’ll notice Hollywood is much more left-leaning on TV, but when it comes to movies it is different. I’m sure Disney calculated how many of their foreign markets would be offended by an interracial kiss and how it would affect the box office and nixed the idea.

  • Norm Hull

    I was ok with Luke not being in it as much, as they really needed to make sure the film was about the new cast. It also saves alot of creative opportunity for people other than JJ Abrams, which as Into Darkness proves, his rebooting skills only go so far.

  • SUPERMAD

    …”as they really needed to make sure the film was about the new cast.”

    I don’t think they needed to do that, personally.

  • Norm Hull

    For me it really depends on who exactly she is, which we’ll hopefully find out in Episode 8.

    I would have been more ok with the “force awakening” in her if the Yoda/Obi Wan voices were guiding her in some weird way like they hinted at in her vision. Like they should’ve repeated that when she did the mind trick “trust your feelings” or something. Luke didn’t exactly get much training but the voices in his head got him to blow up a space station sans computer

  • DRP103

    I now know four people who’ve been covered from head to toe in human fe.ce.s. That fella who escaped Shawshank, Steve-O, JJ Abrams and George Lucas.

  • Norm Hull

    When is the energico awakens coming out?!

  • Adzl33t

    What about that black guy of Psych on Holes? He got with a white woman.

  • Norm Hull

    I was intrigued by the notion that the revsionists were paid by Disney, as there is SO much shade thrown at the prequels at every turn when they released the Force Awakens. Most of it warranted. But it seems Disney fully understood what was wrong with the prequels. But Plinkett was right in that, like Disney itself, even when everything sucked it was still slightly charming that an insane old man was behind it all rather than a corporate board. Seems like Disney, Star Wars, and even Star Trek will never be what they used to be.

  • Norm Hull

    During Plinkett’s heyday of 2010-11 I lived in both Milwaukee and Teaneck New Jersey. It’s my most proud accomplishment in life

  • Norm Hull

    Yeah as a humanized stormtrooper that could be a great story.

    Finn was funny without turning into Chris Tucker or Eddie Murphy, which I appreciated. They could easily have messed his character up and continued Star Wars’ rather complicated reputation for race relations.

  • Norm Hull

    “Mess with the best, die like the rest”

    – The last words Brad Pitt will hear

  • Variant

    Not all of them, no. I do rewatch them all constnatly but they’ve kind of blurred together in my brain. There was the one about Jordie “getting back to his roots”, that was always the most jarring one to me because it was just about him being black and held captive.

  • Quantum

    No, it was because Levar Burton was in Roots.

  • It’s like history is repeating itself.

  • EJ

    Plinkett claims that TFA is a predictable corporate product, then complains that Rey and Finn don’t hook up, like they would in a typical Hollywood movie. It’s what they call a contradiction.

    IMHO their relationship works really well. Finn is clearly into her from the get go; she likes him well enough but thinks he’s an immature goofball. Then after he almost gets killed she realizes she might be kinda in love with him, but she has to leave and kissing a comatose person on the mouth is creepy, so she gives him a peck on the forehead and tells him she’ll see him again. Perfect, I thought.

    I’ll compare it to the OT since Plinkett did – pretty much as soon as Han meets Leia he wants to hit that, but she spends most of the first movie thinking he’s an ass. They don’t get to “I love you” “I know” until almost the end of the second movie.

  • Variant

    Ah. Oops.

  • Quantum

    😉

  • Dswynne

    Are you sure on this? I didn’t think the protagonists “won” the war, but that the movie was about ONE particular story. In fact, the ending had two stay behind on a suicide mission while the other two escaped. It did skip to the epilogue where =m sometime later, the US did manage to beat back the invasion, and that the place where the Wolverines were hiding out became some sort of memorial.

  • stephenstempo

    it’s very different from the way the OT is nostalgic.

  • Norm Hull

    …before Jolie breaks his laptop

  • stephenstempo

    The problem is you seem to accept the prequels as cannon. I do not. This sadly makes it very difficult to enjoy star wars rebels which I hear has taken a big pile of steaming shit and turned it into something interesting. Lucas idiotically made the jedi far too numerous and far too organized. They should have literally been like traveling ronin from fuedal japan. Samurai without masters who went around the galaxy doing good and helping people. You know, something you only heard whispers about. The Obi wan trains anakin and anakin for some reason starts to believe that the small actions the jedi take in the shadows should be applied on a large political scale. It would be a great story about how anakin, a war hero, had political power thrust upon him with help from palpatine and it broke him. A simple but intriguing power corrupts story.

  • EJ

    Between the diversity discussion in this video (I mean does he even have a point? Seems like he’s saying that hey, diversity is good because there’s no reason everyone should be white in a movie like this and besides, all the non-white actors in this are really good, but also diversity is just PC pandering) and the laborious attempt to prove that a whole bunch of obviously misogynistic reaction to Ghostbusters was not misogynistic (we had, just recently two sub-mediocre reboots of beloved nerd classics in Total Recall and Robocop, without the internet losing its damn mind. I wonder what’s different about Ghostbusters?), I worry that Stoklasa’s turning into Typical Internet Man.

  • Norm Hull

    Never saw it, I’m holding out for a Wayside School movie WHEN LOUIS SACHAR?!

  • stephenstempo

    /sarcasm?

  • EJ

    Is it? Try watching ANH with someone who never saw it as a kid. They’ll probably enjoy it, but won’t hesitate to point out that a lot of it is seriously hokey.

  • stephenstempo

    I think it should have just been called . The state of Star wars adress. Calling it the force awakens review is kind of misleading. I do like the part where he knocks down the fake nostalgia surrounding the prequels.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    You don’t like them?

  • stephenstempo

    I did, my girlfriend. She loved it and thought it held up very well as a simple adventure film. Not hokey at all since it’s self consistent and told a story with a lot of because instead of a lot of and then’s. Goonies it is not. So yes the nostalgia for the prequels is like kids growing up and pointing out the artistry of blues clues.

  • Quantum

    “Let’s face it.
    Without Fags, Jews and Gypsies, there is no theatre.”
    – Mel Brooks (as Frederick Bronski) in 1983.

    The problem is not in diversity.

    The problem arises when it is forced: “fill this quota or you’re fucked”.
    Nobody who creates any art likes to be steered in one way or another, just to appease this or that asshole.

    When George Lucas made the first Star Wars, he didn’t think it was going to be a hit.
    In those days, filmmakers made movies hoping to be successful, of course, but also to make their voices heard as artists.

    Today, every significant movie already has a corporate machine behind it, and it has to be successful by the zillions.
    So, they have to try and cater to everyone, and the creative process suffers from it.

    This review is a side effect of the times we live in; instead of being to the point, it’s a bit muddled trying to cover all the bullshit that goes around entertainment today.

    The previous Plinkett reviews were edgier because they were opinions about works with stronger creative signatures.
    Even though, and then, he already complained about the merchandising and dumbing down, in Star Wars and Star Trek, respectively.

    Nevertheless, and in comparison, TFA and all this pc shit is just blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…

  • Tobacco Nass II

    I should have won an =scar.

  • Variant

    I’m not bothered by sexlessness in Star Wars. Han Solo/Laiya/Lando were the only sex appeal aspects of the original movies really, and the rest of the stuff he brought up just seemed to be visual gags. That aspect of the movie didn’t bother me. I was almost kind of hoping for a sweet little blossoming love between the two main characters because I kind of like movies with innocent relationships that aren’t just drenched in lustful sex appeal. It can be nice. But leaving it out entirely is fine by me too.

  • Alex Lee

    You lieked it when they used the lazer thwords?

  • Charnelhouse

    So then to recap: Jay, Mike and Rich liked The Force Awakens, but 9 odd months later Plinkett hated it. Or is this a soft reboot of RLM’s overall position on TFA?

  • EJ

    And you’ll meet Gen X-ers who’ll try to convince you that Goonies is a timeless classic.

    Don’t get me wrong, I do think that the OT are objectively better movies than the prequels. You’re asking yourself questions like “why didn’t that guy shoot the escape pod when he didn’t get any life readings, in a universe where sentient droids are common?” or “Why do they have to fly down a trench where they can be picked off by pursuing fighters? They’re in space, can’t they approach the death star from whatever direction they want?” as opposed to the prequels, where you’re asking yourself “WTF is even going on in this movie?”

    But there’s enough fun stuff in the prequels that people who saw them as children usually enjoyed them, so I think it’s understandable that some of them want to salvage their reputation.

  • bob

    Yeah, but you know what’s gonna happen at the end. That didn’t stop people from seeing Titanic though, so idk.

  • Adzl33t

    Hey I consider the Clone Wars series part of the franchise, because Cad Bane is total pimp unlike punkass Boba Fett

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    FFFFFFfffffuck, I’m gonna save this for the good meth!

  • LameSame

    BUT PLINKY WANTS TO FUUUUCK

  • Oh for sure, I’d wager that was the best part of the video but then again, as someone pointed it out – it’s stooping to the level of those clickbaity sh1t articles.

  • Percy Gryce

    GD, this already has over a half million views on Youtube. There are comments at the top of that page right now that have over 800 upvotes.

    Time and tide really have passed us by on our lonely, little RLM island.

  • Percy Gryce

    At least, you’re not talking about the other kind of shrinkage.

    You know, when you put your new clothes in the dryer on hot.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I think his point on diversity is that it’s a positive thing, but that no one except for cynical internet people really give a crap about it, and most people care more about simply seeing an entertaining film.

    Which I think there’s quite a bit of truth to.

    Also I don’t think Mike is handwaving away misogynistic Ghostbusters comments, I think his point was more that it was used by the studio as an angle to market the film and make it some kind of cause to rally behind.

  • yokoyes

    Agreed, She was perfect from the off. I wanted Kylo to take her head with one swing. That would have taught her. Cocky.

  • Jerome Gorden

    Good review.

    The Force Awakens is better than the prequels. That’s because it was not made by a retard. RLM has consistently implied that Lucas was a lazy, soulless, corporate idiot who was just in it for the money. They are absolutely correct. But even he had some love for his work.

    The problem (the awful problem) is that TFA – while it was clearly more competently made – is more soulless, more corporate and more by-the-books than the prequels. It felt like another mediocre remake that came straight off the Corporate-Hollywood- Assembly-Line. Instead of one narcissistic idiot who insisted on working by himself, we got a team of corporate idiots who were just in it for the money. These capitalist hacks at Disney had no passion for the OT, but they were very passionate about ensuring that the movie pushed a happy PC message.

    The prequels were awful. TFA was mediocre. At this point, I honestly don’t know which annoys more.

  • It may be for the better, my dear gentleman. Some of those are really, really terrible. They’re so bad they game me AIDS.

  • LameSame

    Is Harry Plinkett replacing George Lucas? The joke is on him, after all: he’s destined to review every major episode of Star Wars.

    Forever is your fate tied to that soulless Disney movie franchise, Plinkett. I pity you and the ironic farce you’ve ensnared yourself in.

  • EJ

    I still don’t understand it then. Unless you make a point to have a diverse cast, you’re more than likely gonna have one that’s mostly white. Not because directors and casting directors are huge racists, but the majority of them are white, and they’ll just keep doing what they’ve always done.

    This isn’t new BTW – one of the reasons Billy Dee was cast as Lando (he was of course a superb choice) was because people criticized Star Wars for being 100% white, and there was actually some controversy at the time over the scene where he hits on Leia. Similarly, Rodenberry didn’t cast Nichelle Nichols purely because she happened to be best for the part, or have Chekov be Russian because he thought the accent was cute – he specifically wanted to have a diverse cast to show a future where humanity had moved beyond racism and nationalism.

  • ikdks

    You don’t see the irony?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    People love to complain.

    The answer is to stop caring. Really, the words “I don’t care” are pretty magical.

    I’m surprised Mike even touched on it. The “diversity” issue is an issue for a week until people decide what controversy to move onto next. Then no one remembers, no one cares, and all that’s retained is that the movie made x amount of dollars.

  • Like Icare

    I meant “repelling” in a present continuous sense of “repel”.
    It is not a story of them fighting off the foreign invaders but of them being in the process of fighting against foreign invaders.

  • stephenstempo

    The prequels do. TFA doesn’t destroy the characters of the original. The prequels make no sense chronologically. It makes everyone in the OT sound like holocaust deniers when they mention the jedi as some ancient religion. 19 years is not enough time for the ENTIRE GALAXY to have forgotten that essentially a branch of government with seemingly thousands of members, active recruiting based on the number of children we see. Oh yeah and the fact that THEY LED AN ENTIRE ARMY FOR YEARS. I don’t consider them cannon and instead have replaced them in my head with something better. If the original Star wars was ww2 in space then the prequels could have easily been the civil war in space. TFA wasn’t as great but was fine and competent and set up hopefully some interesting turns and characters. I’m reserving judgment until they finish these three since sequels couild actually make TFA look better in hindsight if they use some of the events in it as clever set ups.

  • EJ

    Saying “I don’t care” is easy if you’re a straight white male, like me, and I presume, you? We don’t have the experience of not seeing people who look like us in our sci-fi movies. But I am surprised that Mike put it in the review since he just kind of rambles on about it without making much of a point.

  • EJ

    Well it’s not like there’s any actual fuckin’ in the OT – t’s kinda sexy I guess when Han and Leia do finally kiss and it’s implied that Lando is quite the ladies’ man, although you never actually see him get down. In Jabba’s palace even Boba Fett looks like he’s getting more action than Lando is, and that dude probably doesn’t even take his helmet off during sex.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    It’s not that I don’t care about having diversity in films, it’s that I don’t care about the manufactured outrage and mudslinging surrounding diversity in films.

    The argument always breaks down to damned if you do, damned if you don’t. So I see little point in taking part in the conversation when no one seems to want to learn how to talk about it.

  • Mr.Fister

    I ‘memba!

  • The irony that coming back to Plinkett is doing the same Disney is doing with TFA?

  • EJ

    You kind of are taking part in the conversation, dude.

  • Now I Get It

    Youtube hugs aren’t for everyone.

  • Herbert West

    First

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Not really? Was just commenting on Mike bringing it up. Have no dog in the fight.

  • Percy Gryce

    Don’t I know it. And Instagram girls, they’re not for everyone either.

  • Now I Get It

    Hastiest. Statement. Ever.

  • EJ

    I dunno about the whole “19 years is too soon to forget about the Jedi” – there are, what, a couple thousand of them at most? Out of an entire galaxy of however many quadrillion sentient beings? And they’re pretty shadowy and secretive, even on Coruscant.

    I mean, how many Navy SEALS have you personally met? I’ve met only one that I know of, and I lived in San Diego for 5 years. Around the time of Order 66 the average galactic citizen has never laid eyes on a Jedi and has only the vaguest idea what they do. Not to mention all the official news for the last 19 years has basically said that whatever magic powers they may have had at one time, at the end they were just some spooky cult that was plotting to take over the Galaxy, and any information to the contrary was brutally suppressed.

    The parents of Jedi would be no help, since once they take you away, apparently you have no contact with your parents for years, if ever. That’s actually one thing I thought the prequels did right (however given that it’s Lucas, I’d lay at best even odds on it being intentional), was show that the Jedi laid the seeds of their own downfall in how fucked up and weird they were.

  • Hilary Manfat

    No, you’re just seeing the originals through nostalgic eyes.

  • GeneralGrievance

    Yes please Plinkett-ize Batman V Superman…that movie is suicide-inducing

  • *farts*

  • I’m surprised he can get it up after all these years.

  • Matthew

    So many social justice pussies triggered on Twitter and Tumblr. It’s great. They truly are the dumbest generation, those mighty and not-at-all patronizing protectors of the helpless diverse.

  • Palpatine

    *Suicide Squad inducing

  • I can’t say I’ve disagreed more with a Plinkett review, which is ok.

    TFA may be guilty of recycling a few too many elements from the OT but I think that’s acceptable given the audience’s experiences with the prequel trilogy. Sure, it played safe with fan service in a few too many places, but it was also willing to kill Han Solo, something Lucas could never bring himself to do. They also pulled back from fan-service in a few places, such as Han not saying “I am your father” to Kylo Ren when on the catwalk, which would have easily been an Into Darkness “Khan!” moment.

    The main problems I see with TFA (which I liked overall) are in some of the tweaks to the plot that likely happened through different script drafts and/or editing/reshooting.

    For example, it seems pretty obvious that destroying Starkiller Base wasn’t in the original draft or cut of the film. It messes things up for the overall plot of the movie:
    If the crux of the Resistance mission is to find Luke Skywalker so they can defeat the First Order (which drives the plot of the whole movie) why is he necessary if they can blow up the big doomsday weapon without him?

    Also, it messes up the scenes right after the destruction of Starkiller base which don’t fit fit tonally. TFA’s conclusion is like the end of ESB, where the threat is still out there and the protagonists are looking for reasons to be hopeful. Listen to the music cues and look at the performances (especially the background actors,) there aren’t jubilant celebrations but people relieved to be able to fight another day. When 3P0 talks to Leia he says that “R2 may contain some much needed good news,” a line which completely ignores the significant tactical victory that should be some some small consolation.

    Another smaller but obvious change: Poe Dameron being killed in an earlier draft (in the way that Abrams wanted to kill Jack in the first episode of Lost, I might add.) He’s an entertaining enough character, but there’s no good explanation about why he would take off his jacket before bailing out? Or is there?

  • EJ

    “I jump into every conversation about diversity in Hollywood to tell you my opinion on diversity, which is, I have no opinion! I can’t stop telling people how much I don’t care!”

  • I thought his humor was fine and he was endearing enough as a character, but it just didn’t gel with his backstory.

    He’s been conditioned to be a part of this fascistic New Order as a loyal soldier, but he has the comic timing of a spunky college freshmen?
    Him having a moral epiphany is okay, but based on his origins, it seemed like him being an awkward, antisocial shell of a person slowly rediscovering his humanity would have made more sense.

    But I doubt that would have made for character that appealed in any way to children or general audiences.

  • Like Icare

    They are not complaining about the lack of Hollywood endings – they are just riffing on the same old theme of making Star Wars less for adult audiences and more for children and retards.

    Oh, can I still say retards?
    …less for adult audiences and more for children and exceptional individuals.

    Sex is just an easily pointed out target of an adult theme present in OT, diluted in the prequels – and sterilized and sanitized out of the TFA.
    Another theme that got Disneyfied, but is less fun to poke fun at and is hard to argue about it missing from the movie, would be the ubiquitous enslavement of sentient species.

    Watching OT, audience treats droids as if they are sentient beings – while characters treat them as slaves. Even putting restraining bolts on them so they don’t run away.
    Come prequels, Anakin and his mom are literal human slaves with bombs in their heads to prevent them from running away – to which everyone in the movies just shrugs their shoulders.
    THEN, clone troopers come along and they are literally born into slavery only to die as cannon fodder and both audience and the main characters treat them as non-persons.

    All that is there not because Lucas wanted to fuck with people’s heads and make statements about slavery but because he was copy/pasting from material where slavery WAS ubiquitous.
    But being there it gives the movies (even prequels) that extra dimension to be noticed later on, when you watch the movies later in life.

    On the other hand – BB-8 is nothing but a standardized DisneyTM intelligent animal.
    It’s no different from Pocahontas’ racoon.
    An intelligent pet.

    Similarly, issues of child soldiers and child labor are brushed off as “it’s bad because working hard jobs to survive is hard” and “it’s bad because you may have to kill people you have no quarrel with and people you know may die”.

    I.e. Instead of a world peppered with landmines of questionable morality which would make viewers question that which is presented to them as absolute good – viewers are given prescribed morality tautologies.
    Because lazy writing by hacks who have no understanding nor love for the material.

  • Shiny_McShine

    You guys are so right about the “comedy.” It was by far the most annoying aspect of the movie. Mostly because it was relentlessly inappropriate. One minute Poe is watching his friends get massacred, the next minute he’s meta-bantering with the murderer like it’s a meet-cute in a rom-com. Way to harpoon the drama of your own scene, peckerheads. I’m actually shocked no one yelled out “That’s gonna leave a mark!” when Han got killed. The rest of the humor was pretty much that tone deaf and annoying.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Hyperbole! The kids love it! Essentially speaking on this topic one time means I must run my mouth about it to anyone on the web with a set of eyes! F*ck me for commenting on stuff!

  • Like Icare

    They’ve made him into a fidgety scaredy cat liar.
    Humor comes from his bungles, not from his comedic timing.
    Audience is laughing AT him, not WITH him.

    Kinda the way audience laughed AT Han Solo in the Another Hope… when he tries to talk his way out of reinforcements coming to that cell block, when he and Chewy run after stormtroopers… then run back chased by stormtroopers… stuff like that.

    With one caveat.
    Finn is kinda blackish, brownish. OOPS!

  • Like Icare

    Howard the Egg.

  • Like Icare

    Hacks his Gibson?

  • Like Icare

    That’s what penile implants are for.

  • Booger

    Totally agree. Good but flawed. Starkiller Base was clearly shoved in and the thing isn’t mentioned and doesn’t show up until the 50 min mark. Keeping Poe alive might be a side effect of the Starkiller but I’m happy he stayed.

  • Herbert West

    Fist

  • I can and can’t quite give a pass to TFA for being a “soft-reboot”.

    On the one hand, the argument that it’s a way to show that Disney is capable of making a competent Star Wars movie after the prequels is a sound one. Though, as Mike pointed out, what happened to Star Trek and Into Darkness might be a bad sign of where the franchise goes in terms of just being derivative.

    On the other, it’s a story I’ve seen told before and done better. And I’m not talking about A New Hope…

    Knights of the Old Republic delivered a “classic” Star Wars experience, while also feeling like it’s own unique entry in the franchise. It hit many familiar story beats, but either mixed them up just enough, or referenced the themes of the original movie rather than visual elements wholesale.

    A good example is how KotOR has it’s own shocking reveal akin to Vader’s revelation in empire. While it has the same impact and in many ways thematically echoes that encounter, what is revealed is very different and also leads to a new character arc that wasn’t seen on the OT.

    Now this comparison isn’t entirely fair. KotOR is a game that spans several hours, meaning you have way more time to know the various worlds and characters you meet, as well as allowing the story to flow at a much steadier pace.
    But I maintain that it’s overall goal is to tell a “classic” style Star Wars story in both atmosphere and tone in much the same way that TFA did, and it does so successfully. However, it feels far less derivative, though some of that may be by virtue of being in another medium.

    Say what you will about a lot of expanded universe stuff (because quite a bit of it WAS terrible), but when it was good, it WAS good. A half-decent writer or artist with the passion and drive could take established content and do something fresh with it. I’m worried that now, in this new, “play-it-safe”, even more corporate atmosphere, that the new films and much of the new content spawned from it will be stuck in this painfully incestuous cycle of recycling content endlessly.

    Much like what would have happened if Luke and Leia had gotten busy at the end of a New Hope.

  • Like Icare

    Yeah, but just imagine how Force-adept Luke’s and Leia’s baby would be.

    Oh… OOOOOH!!!

  • HG

    Knights Of the Old Republic was fucking great. It was better than all the other EU garbage and definitely better than the Prequels and TFA.

    Too bad it isn’t canon anymore :^(

  • EJ

    Except people do think about this stuff, right? I’m not saying the prequels are good movies, but I’m pretty sure Jorge is a smarter filmmaker than people give him credit for.

    This society doesn’t think sentient droids have rights? Maybe that’s part of the problem. This society accepts slavery? Maybe that’s part of the problem. They’re perfectly happy to use brainwashed clones created under shady circumstances to fight for them instead of raising a real army? The Jedi are creepy, secretive, and weird? It’s perfectly fine for Padme to just appoint Jar Jar to be a Senator, with sweeping legislative powers? Maybe this galactic society is so screwed up that a Sith takeover is all but inevitable…

  • Hilary Manfat

    Lucas rhymes with mucus.

  • NoRez

    ‘Jedi and Star Trek IV came to mind. “Alright already!’ humor. But that’s ok – it still feels like Star Wars, something 1/2/3 never ever have.
    EXTREMELY grateful for 1) A new Plinkett and 2) THE Plinkett. No ‘excuse me’ ST crewman, though? I’ve missed him, too.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Bring back Blip.Tv! That’ll shake the extra audience!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Maybe in prehistoric cultures. Some of those Venus sculptures were morbidly obese.

  • Now I Get It

    They’re whores, Percy, they’re for everyone. Take a penny, leave a penny. (I like “Penny”s)*

    * LIMITED TIME OFFER: Transfer your upvote now, no questions asked, from my hastiest statement ever to this edgier, more inspired reply.**

    **Failure to do so may result in loss of standing within the community of RLM (still kinda) regulars.

  • EJ

    “Sex is just an easily pointed out target of an adult theme present in OT, diluted in the prequels – and sterilized and sanitized out of the TFA.”

    Except this isn’t true. Remember we’re one movie in – all ANH had was a bit of back and forth banter between Leia and Han – much like we get with Rey and Finn. In fact we get the “realizing she loves him” moment from Rey at the end of this movie, which we didn’t get out of Leia until Empire. They don’t make out, because BTW Finn is in a coma at that point, but this movie is far from sexless.

  • Now I Get It

    See LIMITED TIME OFFER above to save your reputation./#comment-2931995676

  • Fancy Pants Man

    Another great funny review – looks like you put a lot of time and effort and projectile fecal matter into it. Awesome. AWESOME. I bet everyone that watched it really appreciated the hours of your life you put into this to make us all laugh. Because you never get those back. AweSOMe. I can’t find the link for the Gouge One review? Awesome.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    When Plinkett says: “I know a couple of guys that’d love to talk to him about it”, hopefully it will lead to a Max Landis-type scenario, where George has his agent get in contact with RLM, and flies to Milwaukee to make “A Conversation With George Lucas” (notice George’s complaints about the current state of the movie indutry aren’t dissimilar to those of Max Landis). Also, a BOTW where they watch crappy horror/sci-fi B-movies from the 50s.

  • EJ

    Wait, what happens at the end of Titanic?

  • EJ

    Sorry it’s just weird to have a discussion with someone who continuously claims he’s not having the discussion. Too meta for me I guess.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Didn’t claim that once, in fact. But have it your way.

  • RLMkeepitup

    There’s def an open invitation going on there but Lucas is a billionaire so I’d settle for just his reaction video to the reviews.

  • Garym

    That would definitely put a twist into the Star Wars universe!

  • Charon

    *random, ambivalent, quasi-denigrating comment about how the new Plinkett reviews aren’t as good as the old ones*

  • Lt Hurwitz

    I tend to only have more practical diversity criticism of the idea of featuring women in combat roles, since that isn’t something that has been common for a military at any point in human history.

    This is just a space fantasy movie though, and the reality of any government throwing the people who create life and sustain civilization out to die by the thousands not being a good idea, really is irrelevant.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Are there any commentary tracks by lucas or any of the cast on the prequel dvds?

  • MichaelKz

    I would love to see that.

    You know, while all of those clickbait articles that praise the prequels seem like bullshit, it is hard to not be nostalgic for George Lucas and Lucasfilm before it was sold to Disney. Besides, after those Transformers movies, I know what real shit is. They make the Star Wars prequels look fantastic.

  • MichaelKz

    -ing.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Yes. Women shooting Hitler in the face is probably ahistorical.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Mike doesn’t really care about Man of Steel. He cares about Star Wars, Star Trek, and Indiana Jones. No matter what he’ll do a Plinkett review of those films. I agree though, The Force Awakens just didn’t have enough going on to be a really funny review.

  • The fact that Kylo Ren looks almost exactly like Revan just rubs salt in the wound.

  • Palpatine

    But how awkward would the whole conversation be?

  • Designer Dragon

    Still spreading the BS that Star Trek was the first interracial kiss on TV, sigh. That’s just nonsense made up in recent years.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    That’s mostly true, people are hardly doing that, (though in every place I’ve worked everybody tried to bang everybody else). Now attractive young people, who grew up isolated from much if any contact with other attractive young people of the opposite sex, and are now thrust in close quarters together…yes they would definitely bang.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    These are the endless “I’m righter!!” back and forths we avoid on RLM, I could feel the “make it stop” in your comments.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    By the end I’d forgotten the fairly innocuous comment that started it. I just wanted to go to sleep.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    He totally was righter though, and you got pwned.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Chek yer factz.

  • Palpatine

    It was also the episode where Kirk was brainwashed into acting like a horse.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Check your facts Sheeev. Everyone knows the first interracial kiss was in 1963 on a show no one heard of or ever watched.

  • Omis

    A Plinkett review where 3/4 of it is not talking about the actual movie? This is why he shouldn’t be reviewing movies he liked. I love you guys at RLM, but it looked more like a circle jerk than a Plinkett review. When you were nitpicking the prequels, it made sense that you would go after Lucas. Here it was painfully obvious you needed filler and I was actually pretty bored with it. And we know you guys are awesome, there’s no need to attack the other movie websites.

    Just stick to what made Plinkett Reviews great. Nitpicking, while giving insight on movie production. This review was different. And I don’t like things that are different.

  • I’m kind of disappointed you didn’t give JJ’s goddamn “Mystery Box” more of a pounding. And I love TFA, a whole whole lot, but that Mystery Box stuff he does with everything he makes is absolute garbage in execution. He’s not Nolan. He couldn’t craft Memento if he wanted to.

    But yeah, thanks for this, it was fun!

    Also, is this review replacing Rogue One?

  • Palpatine

    Well, I looked it up and it was on a televised British play called Hot Summer Night in 1959.

  • Joe Syxpac

    It would almost be worth the hare lip.

  • Captain Turbo

    Is this replacing Half in the Bag?

  • Christopher Kulik

    Did you know that J.J. Abrams’ first screenplay was filmed by Paramount in 1991 called REGARDING HENRY starring Harrison Ford? Nobody remembers it but me. J.J. even has a cool little cameo as a grocery delivery boy and he & Ford say “Hi!” to each other. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was why Ford was having so much fun making this movie unlike his recent ones as Mike & Jay pointed out in their review of ENDER’S SAME (sure also so he could kill off Han Solo).

    So, who all is looking forward to Plinkett’s review of INDIANA JONES AND WHO GIVES A SHIT ANYMORE considering it’s going to be directed by Spielberg, written by Lucas & Koepp, starring Ford & Allen and released by Disney in summer of 2017 when Ford turns 75 years old? They already fucked up by not casting Dan Aykroyd as a CRYSTAL SKULL expert, considering he had a cameo at the end of the first act of TEMPLE OF DOOM, so I don’t have high hopes for this new one.

    Oh, and glad to have you back Harry, we missed you! 🙂

  • Christopher Kulik

    Since the South Park guys just announced ORGAZMO 2: THE RETURN OF CHODA BOY with Dian Bachar returning as Orgazmo’s non-Mormon sidekick in the world of pornography who has a giant rubber dildo as one of his superhero sex-toys in his utility belt, I can see him going after Hollywood producers who are addicted to soft reboots, particularly since they are not hardcore enough.

  • instant relief

    This doesn’t answer the question if Jesse Eisenberg returned to his homeplanet at the end of BvS.

  • BaronVonAwesome

    Force Awakens is arguable worse than the prequels.

    Because for all their flaws, the prequels actually had more story and more creativity.

    This whole film is a by the numbers exercise in nostalgia porn and it’s painfully conservative with ideas. Anyone who has seen the concept art books knows JJ took every safe choice in the book.

    I don’t buy into the universe at all, where did the First Order come from? How do they have 1 squillion space bucks to build Starkiller Base? For that matter, how did they build it so damn fast? Why are they flying Tie-fighters still? Why does the town on Jakku look like a few tents? Huh? The world is just not believable given how ROTJ ended.

    The antagonist sucks, because he’s a try-hard who for no reason dresses like Darth Vader other than they needed that look for nostalgia purposes. Another whiny antag, epic fail.

    I can also handle bad science, but the star killer’s destruction of that new republic city jumped the shark. Fark me that was JJ science at it’s worst.

    They wasted Han on a poor death scene with emo boy.

    Last, the SJW ‘diversity’ that JJ obsesses over is just pointless and throws you out of the movie, like the Sulu gay scene in Star Trek, it’s pointless, it’s just there because JJ wants to be a PC warrior, it doesn’t serve the story.

    All in all, a pretty mediocre film.

    On the plus side, Rey is cute and the first act is relatively good, but all downhill from there.

    Oh, and I hate, hate, hate butthole eyes!

    All in all, I blame JJ and think RLM themselves have realised that he’s just a glorified SJW version of Michael Bay.

  • Christopher Kulik

    Bear in mind that Universal is about to release writer-director Jeff Nichols’ LOVING: as it says in IMDb trivia, “The U. S. Supreme Court decision of Loving v. Virginia (388 U.S. 1,
    argued on April 10, 1967, and decided June 12, 1967) unanimously held
    that Virginia’s “Racial Integrity Act of 1924,” which forbade marriage
    between people of different races, was unconstitutional. This decision
    therefore effectively voided all such laws in other states as well (at
    the time, interracial marriage was still illegal in at least 15 other
    states) and was used as precedent in Obergefell v. Hodges, the 2015
    Supreme Court decision that likewise declared all laws banning same-sex
    marriage to be unconstitutional.”

    Also bear in mind that EPISODE XIII is directed by Rian Johnson, whose debut film, the fucking awesome BRICK (2005), featured a Senior Black Beauty who has an insatiable sexual appetite for White Freshman Boys. Don’t be surprised if the relationship between Finn & Rey was merely awakening like Han & Leia in the original STAR WARS (1977). I have no doubt in my mind it will be developed in the next film, and I’m not even a true STAR WARS fan. Yet another reason why I’m looking forward to watching it, as the screenwriter and director are as top shelf as it gets. I even prefer Johnson over Abrams, as he also did THE BROTHERS BLOOM & LOOPER. 🙂

  • Christopher Kulik

    I missed Nina too, but I also wanted more footage of Plinkett masturbating to Olson Twins videos…oh, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I CAN’T STOP CUMMING, AHHHHHHH…..

  • Where is the next Grabowskis?

  • Christopher Kulik

    J.J. Abrams’ STAR TREK (2009) vs. J.J. Abrams STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS (2015)? I prefer the soft reboot of TREK, to be honest. Which sounds bizarre, considering the director is more in the latter than the former.

  • Christopher Kulik

    That’s about as profound as realizing the reason why Darth Vader didn’t go down to Tatooine to get the plans himself is because it’s a desert planet.

    You know, he hates sand…

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Force Awakens for me, though I am a much, much bigger Trek guy.

    I liked the new characters in TFA enough to hold it all together, and I enjoyed Han Solo’s last adventure.

    2009 Trek felt like a cheaply distilled version of characters I love.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    I always thought that the Rey lightsaber vision needed a little spur. Like “Hiya Rej’gy, want this don’tja?” “Well come and get it”. Then the cast would have to battle a giant clown and Chewbacca gets dragged into a sewer and blood gushes out.. Anyway, be sure to watch Ep. II. There is a cool fight scene with Boba Fett and some org. gangsta wipe-outs man. That’s Ep. II Clown Wars. From the org. legitimate mind of George Lucazz. Pezz ya’ll.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    The prequels are powerful man.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’s the whole point!

  • RLMkeepitup

    december is coming. JJ needs to make a successful holiday special that appeals to all and will end tensions in major metropolitan areas

  • Variant

    I want what he’s smoking. And don’t tell me it’s tobacco, Nass, you fat fuck.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The problem with the “Mystery Box” is that more often than not it is empty inside. See: Alias, Lost, Super 8, Into Darkness, etc.

    JJ Abrams, back when he was on TV, he was trying to emulate that mega fraud Chris Carter. Now he is aiming for a “Next Spielberg”, but back then, he was trying to make the next X-Files (again, Alias, Lost, Fringe). The “Mystery Box” is nothing but a rip-off of the worst storytelling tendencies from The X-Files. I’m happy that Vince Gilligan learned from his years on TXF how to setup mysteries, but also was able to figure out on his own that these need to have a satisfying conclusion.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Sweet and smooth. Classic minty flavor.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    But he made TFA. Hey-oooooooo! This toad is on a roll.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Of course it’ll never happen, but it’s a nice fantasy scenario.

  • Michael Collins

    This review was mostly good, but it went a bit shit at the end.

  • dontdosomethingjusttodosomethn

    They worked really hard on it, don’t poo poo it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    it was fun having mat hannon but the thing with george is he seems a bit defensive even after he’s sold the whole thing

  • Palpatine

    Mike: “So George, how does it feel to be interviewed by the man who torn the Prequels apart?”
    George: “Well, uh, it really doesn’t matter to me because, um, nobody really liked the Star Wars films I directed. Not even A New Hope. Uhhh, everyone liked that one because it was well edited, but they also thought the dialogue was terrible.
    Jay: “But Mr. Lucas, people liked A New Hope for a lot of reasons.”
    George: “No, you’re wrong. They only liked the things that I didn’t have involvement in. Like the editing. My ex-wife was an editor on the film. Then she left me a few years later!”
    (George starts crying. Mike and Jay look embarrassed and leave the room while George continues to cry.)

  • Makkon Farstriders

    This review was overall pretty good. I wish you guys had made it a little more focused though- there were a couple tangents taken about Disney, etc, that I felt were unnecessary to the Force Awakens opinion.

    As a movie The Force Awakens was pretty good, not as good as the original trilogy, but at least it was far better than the crap prequels. Really that’s all we were asking for. Sadly, the prequels were so bad, that The Force Awakens had a really, really low bar to clear.

  • Makkon Farstriders

    I like your points.

    Also: Why even have a New Republic, if you are just going to blow it up immediately in the film so that it serves literally no purpose to the movie?

  • SUPERMAD

    It’s “celebrating” the diversity that’s stupid, though.

    It’d be like if the film-makers got up to the stage and said, “We’re only using 35mm film!” and people just lost their nuts over it. Don’t get me wrong, 35mm is a terrific format and I like when movies are shot with it, but neither Kenneth Branagh’s HAMLET or Tarantino’s HATEFUL EIGHT are in my top ten. They’re not even in my top 50.

    Diversity has virtue, just no inherent greatness. There are plenty of awesome films that have very little racial diversity at all.

  • SUPERMAD

    Fine, but it’ll be too late.

    If they want to establish the power/status of Leia’s New Republic, THIS was the movie to do it in. Possibly there will be more explanation for A LOT of things, but it will only beg the question: why not do so in Episode 7?

  • Variant

    They make mint flavored PCP now? Count me in

  • Nigel Pepper Cock

    It seemed like this review was just going in circles. I really don’t think there’s much more for RLM to say about Star Wars at this point.

  • laconic lizard

    I think I agree with you. I thought this review was alright but I think Plinkett works best at shredding terrible movies that disappointed everyone. I remember

  • Tobacco Nass II

    So when is the next Plinkett review?

  • I feel like this was more about articulating a response to where Star Wars as a franchise was now, rather than just a TFA review. They’ve already expressed most of their feelings in the initial HitB review, and I’m sure they didn’t want this to feel overly redundant.

    Hence why it’s called “The Star Wars Awakens Review” rather than just “The Force Awakens Review”.

  • 6 years. They’re just gonna take longer and longer to make. Expect the episode 9 review in 2034.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Ho ho ho ho. By that time we be wampa puudoo. Ho ho ho ho.

    #votetrump

  • Welcome Back Otter

    It’s just not as much fun to examine a film where the perspective is “it’s ok”. The BIGGEST problem in the whole movie is the scene where they get back from blowing up the Star Killer and Chewie walks straight past Leia, who ignores him. Then she hugs Rey! Chewie doesn’t get a hug from his best friend’s wife after Han’s death. Just weird.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    This is one good thing about The Walking Dead – you’ve got a black/white couple, an Asian/white couple, a gay couple and a lesbian couple (briefly) and they never seem to feel the need to yell “look how diverse we are!” There might even be a black/ginger couple soon.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Meh, in the original Luke’s moping after Ben’s death, a minute later he’s yelling “I got ‘im!” with glee.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    I haven’t met any Navy Seals, but I don’t consider them an “ancient legend”. I consider them Charlie Sheen and Michael Biehn.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    FIRST!

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee he heeeeeeeeeey! Ello govena. As they say in 6he nort. Hows your pet polar bear?

  • instant relief

    NO WAY!

  • EJ

    We need a special guest HITB where Max Landis and Len Kabazinski review Space Cop.

  • Spoiled Ants

    There are three different commentary tracks by R2D2 and one commentary by Werner Herzog in which he’s slurping a soup for two hours.

  • Quantum

    Agree with almost everything, only not sure about Rey being Anakin’s reincarnation.

    As for Sulu, I think we know something is not right when George Takei himself was against Sulu being gay.

    And in response, the writers were the ones that got butt hurt (no pun intended) because they “were being progressive and were giving him a homage”.
    I’m paraphrasing, but it was something like this.

    Although I’m an heterossexual white man, I’m not American.
    I guess that gives me a good outside perspective, but I can’t believe Americans are oblivious to the irony of the situation.

    I mean, americans are frowned upon when they dress as Indians in Halloween, because of “culture appropriation”.

    However, these kind of forced and gimmicky changes to established canons have to be received with open arms, or else you’re homophobic / racist?

    Hey, I just had a quaint idea…

    What if SJWs stopped sucking on the teet of already established and marketeable properties, and created their own stories where they could go wild?

    Oh, I get it… It would mean a lot work, with no guarantee of success.

  • Quantum

    FIRST… oh, wait.

  • Erwin

    I love your take on those sellouts. Surely there must be more types of movies than bad guys with bad hair cuts shooting with giant lasers and / or having revenge?

    I hope they do a titanic-in-space where a giant unsinkable spaceship hits an asteroid field. Just add an 3rd-rate love story in between and have the movie being over 3 hours long and you’ll be more original than 90% of the movies this year to date.

  • instant relief

    Jeezuz KRYSTE!

  • The Old Axolotl

    A lot of time spent for analyzing Ring theory – not sure if it was worth to put so much spotlight on this. I would rather hear more insight about the Episode VII itself. Fantastic video anyway.

  • Bubs

    I know I’m probably going to be in the vast minority on this one… but I thought the critical analysis was pretty weak this time around. Vastly inferior to what we know Mike is capable of.

    The first hour, which analyzes the monster that current Star Wars pop culture has become, is spot on. It’s perfect. But once Plinkett gets to analyzing the actual movie everything kinda starts to fall apart.

    Like, one of the major points brought up is that Rey and Finn don’t try to fuck each other. And that’s seen as a bad thing. Allow me to quote from a brilliant analysis someone made in an Episode II: AotC review I saw: “This is romance at its most superficial and one dimensional. Two attractive people in beautiful locations. They must be in love.” Rey and Finn have no reason to fall in love beyond “thatz what happenz in moopiez”. Finn has plenty of reason to be infatuated with Rey – because he’s a guy and guys will fuck anything – but also because he grew up in a creepy cult-like environment and Rey is probably the first girl who has ever even paid him attention beyond Phasma. But Rey has no reason to want to fuck him. And this is pretty much exactly what happens in the movie.

    It seems like this review was kinda made because “That’s what Plinkett does” and also so Mike could rant at the internet and SJW’s who think everything under the sun is racist or sexist.

    I don’t mean to come off like I didn’t enjoy it. Because I did. Greatly. I just thought this review kinda failed to analyze the movie’s flaws. Or strengths. This was more like a discussion of “Star Wars stuff”.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    The new Plinkett review wasn’t as good as the old ones, but what makes it so genius is his reviews are like a circle. The Star Trek reviews thematically and visually mirror the Star Wars prequel reviews in reverse order. In classic literature this is called “circle theory,” or “how to distract people from a poorly written script.” Brilliant.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I’m disappointed that Mike didn’t talk more about the screenplay. What made his prequel reviews so refreshing was his ability to see through the bullshit and explain step-by-step the movies’ real problems like character development, plot structure, and the overuse of CGI contributing to a sense of emotional detachment. Here he got distracted by the bullshit – clickbait articles, ring theory, diversity – when he should have dismissed it all with a joke.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Unfortunately for us, he didn’t. People keep hiring this hack.
    People will never learn.

  • Spoiled Ants

    That joke is as fresh as Dane Cook.

  • Spoiled Ants

    What do you mean it’s empty inside? I’M empty inside.
    Don’t tell me all those movies where lying to me after all these years. And why does it feel as if a hand is on my ass wallet, wait… is it my wallet..?

  • *Farts*

  • Spoiled Ants

    Is that the german version of “Where’s Waldo”?

  • Spoiled Ants

    It’s true..all of it.

  • Spoiled Ants

    I’m joining. Where do I find the 1st-world-problems-petition-blog?

  • Spoiled Ants

    I haven’t seen Red Dawn yet, it’s on my playlist since 5 years now. But I saw a great german movie with a similar plot called Die Brücke (1959). It’s a black & white movie so no-points for colored people, I suppose.

  • Spoiled Ants

    You just described No Man’s Sky.

  • instant relief

    *cakefarts*

  • pudu*

  • Stuck in development hell since 2003.

  • You’re obviously biased, space toad.

  • I find it funny that you’re complaining about SJWs while having Spock in your avatar.

  • Red Skeleton

    So they’re filming part of an upcoming Star Wars movie just outside of my hometown, Eugene Oregon. I can’t imagine where, unless by just outside they mean 70 miles away, in which case they could be talking about the sand dunes that inspired that one Frank Herbert book… what was it called again? With all the sand and dunes and the worms that lived in the dunes….

  • Coarse?

  • Red Skeleton

    I hate sandworms.

  • Variant

    You live in Eugene Oregon? I live 20 minutes from there.

  • Red Skeleton

    Used to.

  • Variant

    Kewl.

  • Red Skeleton

    Go Ducks. Or Beavers. Or whatever.

  • Variant

    Not really a sports guy, so just whatever puts the least people in a bad mood around me.

  • Matt Risnes

    There’s nothing to say about the movie. Force Awakens is an exceedingly competent, solidly made soft reboot. He pointed out its minor flaws and what it did right. The real discussion about Star Wars is in all the stuff he spent time on. What it’s become, how Lucas left, the internet’s being warped by it, Millennial appropriation of the prequel trilogy and the fact at an unending nightmare we can all never wake up from.

    The movies going forward are more or less irrelevant. The real meat is in the cultural apocalypse Lucas has wrought.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    You know, despite any complaints that I may have about this video, it really was refreshing to see a new Plinkett installment after all this time. Thanks for the hard work you put into it.
    As for the video itself, I thought that the first 2/3 of it, where you talked about the culture surrounding ‘Star Wars’ was really interesting and entertaining. I actually kind of loved Plinkett acknowledging the influence he had on the nitpicking Youtube critics, AKA the people who bitch about the minor plot inconsistencies with no interest in REALLY critiquing the movie and its emotional impact on the audience. Plinkett’s STYLE has been ripped off many times over, but I don’t think that anyone was really able to match his substance. And, between insightful criticisms of movies and meth, Mr. Plinkett has a LOT of substances, most of which are ripe for abuse.
    I thought that the last thirty minutes or so of the video were STILL very entertaining, but they felt kind of… off. Like, I’ve respectfully disagreed with Plinkett in the past, but this was probably the first time I’ve ever been like “Oh, come on, that’s dumb” to a Plinkett review.
    While I think that Plinkett was right in a lot of his criticisms of Disney’s cold and corporate diversity (diversity is good, but Disney plays it really, really safe while still getting to pat themselves on the fucking back for being “daring” or whatever) the part that made me roll my eyes a little was when he said “children don’t care as much about diversity as us cynical adults. As proof, observe this commercial, probably written and directed by white people, where a black child plays with an Obi-Wan action figure.”
    I mean, look, I’m a self-righteous, self-aggrandizing white dude millennial, and I have NO authority over how children, especially minority children, are affected by diversity, but neither does Mike, so I thought that this part of the video was a tad presumptuous. Like, black children can love Obi-Wan and STILL feel alienated when they, by and large, are ignored by broader pop culture. I’m kind of speaking for them right now and that’s presumptuous of me, as well, but even though I thought Mike was mostly on point in his criticisms of Disney, he didn’t really sell me on this particular argument.
    When Redlettermedia gets into political shit, I prefer when they use the movies, themselves, as springboards for the discussion. It seemed that this time, though, Mike was more interested in engaging with the controversies and neuroses SURROUNDING the movie, and then engaged with the movie itself as almost an afterthought. Again, this video was two hours well-spent, but the genius of older Plinkett reviews was that they dug deeper into the movies, themselves, than other critics did. Other Plinkett reviews would talk about extraneous shit, but it would usually come secondary to the criticism of the movie itself. This time, the formula seemed kind of… inverted, and in the words of a Ted Bundy-esque psychopath “I don’t like things that are different.”
    Anyway, though, that’s my long-winded armchair criticism of my favorite armchair critic.
    Where’s my fucking pizza roll?

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    *Spends years demanding new Plinkett, proceeds to bitch about new Plinkett. Interwebs gonna interweb.

  • Variant

    I actually really enjoyed that Plinkett decided to take the time to show the intelligent side of old George. Yeah, we all hate the prequels – but hearing him talk about how the big Hollywood machine just wants an endless parade of sequels from existing IPs – sure he might just be complaining because no one wants his crappy “experimental” movies.. but he’s right isn’t he? For the first time I wasn’t listening to an interview of George to laugh at him, there was kind of a glimmer of subdued passion in his eyes as he spoke about that matter.

  • Variant

    Also what you just said finally registered with my brain. I’m gonna photobomb the FUCK out of that movie. Look for the pantsless storm trooper in the background doing the helicopter.

  • Variant

    Yep.

  • Variant

    I think fans of things, including Plinkett reviews, need to understand that they are also part of the hype machine, and that waiting longer for something doesn’t automatically make it as rewarding as you’re hoping it’s going to be. They say a watched pot never boils… and it’s something sort of like that but not exactly. It’s too early for metaphors.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    We will now have to wait 6 years for a Plinkett Ishtar review. Howard the Duck will take 12. 🙁

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I really did like the review, though, and I find it hilarious that The AV Club made a limp-wristed attempt at taking the wind out of Redlettermedia’s sails.
    Oh, okay, Redlettermedia posted their Plinkett review “ten months too late” and that IMMEDIATELY deflates any legitimate gripes they may have with the culture surrounding Star Wars.
    Honestly, fuck The AV Club. Fuck Birth.Movies.Death. Fuck the places that COULD have intelligent things to say about pop culture, and occasionally do, but then just trade it all in for zeitgeist-chasing horseshit.
    If Redlettermedia had just posted a video about the “100,000 things WRONG With the Force Awakens” a week after the movie’s release, they probably would have gotten a mention on The AV Club’s lame-brained “Great Job, Internet!” section.
    Only, like, unironically.
    God, this is why I need to actually get a life and spend less time away from the internet.

  • Variant

    If Plinkett gnitpicked scene by scene as hard as it sounds like people want him to, it would have come off as reaching for the bottom of the barrel for things to talk about, and would have been fan servicey. “Do this Plinkett because that’s what Plinkett does” is kind of contradictory to a lot of the themes in his character

  • LawlMartz

    I thought the same thing. He might be a hack at this point, but he’s right. Studios don’t hire 20 somethings and give them 150m to go make a movie anymore. It’s a carefully monitored investment that goes through checks and reevaluation at every stage of the process. Plinkett shows us a picture of the generic suits, and as hamfisted (but funny) of a visual gag as it is, it’s the truth. Movie by committee. The creativity has long since been sapped and relegated to the fringes of cinema at this point. Endless horror movie remakes and sequels, endless superhero sequels, endless remakes and reboots, and just not a lot of new and intriguing stuff.

  • BaronVonAwesome

    Whilst I Iove these reviews, I do feel a lot was missed this time. There’s a lot of story, and by extension character issues with the film.

    For instance, Han Solo is a poor mentor character for Rey. They needed him in the film, because they have to sell the nostalgia but in effect he just ate into Poe Dameron’s time. Poe was an entertaining character but he got less screen-time as a result.

    Rey is perfect so she doesn’t need a mentor, this is another issue, now, perhaps they can get out of that by making her a re-incarnation of Anakin but otherwise it robbed the film of drama making her so strong. She’s pretty much unstoppable already. Frankly I think she must turn to the dark side now or they’ve majorly messed up her arc over these films.

    Kylo Ren was too young, older villains are menacing and a villain can have more effective motivations for being evil other than just being a fan boy of Darth Vader. A truly great villain would be a say, a fallen new Republic general, aged 40-50, someone with good intentions but forced into the wrong decisions by circumstances (and not in a whiny Anakin prequel way, more in the way of being given only tough choices to choose between (say a Republic general who kills the new Chancellor and seizes power because he doesn’t like the direction the New Republic is going (maybe for perfectly valid reasons). Think Scar in the Lion King taking over. But instead it’s just a dopey teen from nowhere with raging hard-on for Vader.

    Ultimately though, I really feel the film is fundamentally flawed by the universe. After ROTJ the Rebels won and the Empire was defeated, there’s little tension therefore when the First Order is not some over-arching powerful oppressive force here and the Resistance are not a small rebel outfit. I know this is sort of explained as the Resistance being some offshoot of the Republic but this just feels weak. This whole setup needed to be explained for better. RLM are right, the interesting film would have been the fall of the New Republic and why the villains arose from that, but it’s not tackled here, instead we are shown a bizarro power-conflict that nobody really gets, the First Order have come from nowhere with no motivations beyond being ze evil Space Nazi’s. I would have been far more impressed if the New Republic had seized a lot of Empire hardware, which, when the New Republic falls from within (with our Scar like antag) then becomes the property of the New Empire and the new Empire rises from that, then you could have a Rebellion Mark II, it would have all felt organic instead of forced (pardon the pun).

    I really think there is not much way around these problems. For me this film was like Matrix Reloaded. The first Matrix was a self-contained story, much like the original trilogy was self-contained, so there is no need for any sequels as the story has finished and the story structure has no plan for it. Now if one is forced to create sequels (such as by the pursuit of money) then there is a problem because you need to deconstruct the protagonist’s success from the previous film (e.g. in the Matrix Reloaded they deconstruct Neo) and likewise here you need to deconstruct everything the Rebellion accomplished. This is at it’s heart inherently unsatisfying for an audience on a subconscious level, but if you are going to do it, do it right and do it swift and severe. Force Awaken does it half-heartedly.

    I don’t know, I was pretty disappointed with Kasdan on the whole here, thought he would have had a better handle on things.

  • Quantum

    And that’s funny because… ?

  • Because Star Trek, back in its day was what would today be considered SJW propaganda.

  • Quantum

    Oh.
    Fortunately, me and wiser people than myself know the difference between equality and lobbying crybabies.
    🙂

  • Notorious W.O.R.M

    Where do you guys have the hole for my two cents. Oh, riiiight here:

    I found the review underwhelming in many ways. I understand that noone’s really looking for or paying attention to a critique of your hard work here, but still. From the simply emotional and entertainment angle, I watched it in one sitting yesterday and unlike the other Plinketts, I simply do not have any desire to watch it again, let alone over and over. If I focus on the specific reasons, then the structure comes first. It feels all over the place and I don’t feel like the overall point (the industry being factory-like and supporting a lame, cheap media hype machine) is not hammered in as well as in your previous work. And THAT is what I feel the point is, not a review of TFA. Which would be fine, but then don’t tack on a review of TFA? I like the film quite a lot, but it’s the lack of proper analysis and actual critique, that works against this essay the most. It muddles the other parts.

    And the other parts aren’t that great either. I’m getting a strangely bitter vibe and not just because it’s the character of Plinkett saying it. You arguing with laughable fan theories and explaining how shitty clickbait is shitty, feels like an overly long comment under a Youtube video. You are correct, but did it need to be said?

    I’ve recently caught up with RLM’s work after not watching it for few months and was pleasantly surprised how consistently enjoyable all of your stuff is. This piece either needed more work, lesser running time or simply to not happen.

    And I am being overly harsh btw, it wasn’t like a disaster. But in comparison to a lot what you guys do (and I am aware of the fact that this is probably almost all Mike’s work) it felt like a dip in quality.

    AIIIIIIIIIIDS or something.

  • Malevolence

    Not one hooker was killed, I think Mr. Plinkett is getting too old and senile to make these reviews anymore. I mean, he didn’t get up out of his chair once and directed the whole film from the comfort of his seat. And just like all sequels, not only do we have a bad guy, they added ANOTHER bad guy, to up the tension factor. These reviews have jumped the shark. If there’s one thing I miss about the Original Plinkett reviews, it’s originality!

  • EJ

    I think WRT Rey being “overpowered” or “perfect,” I personally didn’t have a big problem with it. Particularly in the OT, the main thing The Force does is make you Good At Stuff, and it pretty much seems like the only thing that can really trip up a powerful Force user is a more powerful Force user.

    Remember in Empire when Luke goes running off to Bespin, Yoda’s not worried about his ability to handle himself against Imperial troops. He’s worried that he’ll have to face Vader. Now, you can quibble with that being an effective basis for drama, but Rey’s story is right in keeping with the way the Force is presented in the OT.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    My biggest problem was indeed the structure. The Plinkett house scenes felt unnatural and forced. The time between them was too long. So long, in fact, that I almost forgot about them during the analsis portions.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Yes This! I mean those fat Star Wars basement dwellers are easy prey for Plinkett. He even captured a Navi once. Anyway back to putting Star Wars hemorrhoid cream on my bum. I’m keeeeeeedding I got a Mexican to do that for me. Thanks Trump.

  • Variant

    I’m not like a big politics guy but the only thing I wish he would have emphasized more was that the politics in Star Wars weren’t just boring… they weren’t anything like real politics other than the fact that they were boring. (correct me if I’m wrong though)

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Lucas did a masterful job in the prequels. The Force Awakens was not as good cus everything was back to being a stereotype.

  • Variant

    Oh, PCP Nass. You’re such a character

  • Tobacco Nass II

    I’m unfamiliar with PCP. But there are just not enough wipeouts in ep.VII.

  • EJ

    They were totally like real politics too. Like how the US got attacked by Japan and we were like “Oh no!” and then FDR was like “I totally have this secret army of clones” and we were like “Yay! and BTW we’re going to make you dictator!”

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Yes! Lucas has a deep mind.

  • EJ

    They blew up like 5 planets!! How many wipeouts do you need?

  • Variant

    o ya I forgot about that history lesson from high school. I take back everything I said.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    But when the Jedi got hunted down and killed you felt it man. In ep.7 it was just a light show. I had no reaction. It did start in the Clone Wars for me. I yelled now the downward spiral begins. When the clone army turned it was horrible. So sad.

  • EJ

    I was sad when they shot the hot blue Jedi.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Kit Fisto?

  • EJ

    Nah Palpy took him out, right? I dunno it’s been a while. But yeah, when the whole order 66 thing goes down, you’re like “damn, they just killed that cgi character that was in the background of that one scene!” Right in the feels.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Yes! This.

  • Sir Gregory Tufton Balls

    I just found this latest vid during my lunch break at work. I’m going home sick as soon as I finish typing. I must watch NOW and don’t need work-fucks interrupting me. Telling your boss you “have a goiter…you know…down there…” is a surefire way to get out for the day. Thanks Mike and all!!! FUCK YEAH!!

  • Palpatine

    Especially when the blue lady who looks like Jabba’s first slave girl dies. You know, uh, *goes to Wookieepedia*, Aayla Secura.

  • EJ

    Thanks for going to Wookiepedia so the rest of us didn’t have to.

  • Palpatine

    It’s kind of like walking into a volcanic pit.

  • EJ

    I almost forgot about the part where FDR goes “I found out several hundred high ranking military officers were about to take over the country so I had them all murdered” and we were like “sounds good!” Damn it lines up exactly.

  • Imperial_orb

    Oh wow, the arrogance. It’s not just some 50’s Diner, man.
    First of all, by the time after the Empire’s defeat in the Battle of Endor, the Diner was defunct and abandoned, so that’s sad isn’t it? But let me tell you more about Dex’s Diner. Dex’s Diner was a small eatery in a dilapidated industrial area of the planet Coruscant called CoCo Town. The diner was owned and operated by Dexter Jettster, a Besalisk with a colorful background. Serving mostly hard workers from the area, the diner offered home-style cooked meals and freshly brewed ardees (“Jawa juice”). Jettster worked as the cook and employed two waitresses, Hermione Bagwa and a her WA-7 waitress droid partner, FLO.[1] Other offerings at Dex’s Diner included the Shawda club sandwich for 6.7 credits, served on toasted or therm-zapped bread, the Sic-Six layer cake served by the slice at 2.5 credits and the photo fizzle at 1.7 credits.

  • EJ

    Or when Alderaan got blown up – the only family Leia ever knew, everyone she grew up with, not to mention countless millions of other innocent people dead, and she seems mildly annoyed for a few seconds.

  • EJ

    So, first movie you’ve ever seen then? As far as Poe knows, he’s about to be tortured to death. The plucky adventurer/spy who laughs in the face of certain death was a stock character before movies even existed. And there are a ton of real-life historical examples of people who managed to come up with a witty one-liner while facing a firing squad.

    Poe’s not bantering with Ren because he doesn’t care that his friends are dead; he’s acting cocky because he doesn’t want to give Ren the satisfaction of listening to him grovel.

  • EJ

    Yeah for about half a second I was like, wait, this guy seems awfully cheery for somebody who was a brainwashed child soldier 5 minutes ago. Then I said, eh, it’s Star Wars, it doesn’t have to make total sense. Besides, he’s more fun this way.

    This is a universe where the Millenium Falcon comes out of light speed inside the atmosphere of a planet and we all just accept that it doesn’t immediately explode in a giant flash of gamma rays.

  • EJ

    As bad as some of his movies and ideas are, I don’t think Lucas has ever just been a hack. He’s no Michael Bay or Brett Rattner. The prequels fail hard, but they fail in an interesting way – even Plinkett says something like “It’s kind of amazing how complex the awfulness is.” You couldn’t do 5+ hours of Plinkett reviews of, say, the Transformers movies, because you can explain why they’re bad in about 30 seconds.

  • Notorious W.O.R.M

    It was a political version of techno-babble, definitely not a “lecture in civics”, you’re right.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Got one word for you when I hear Star Wars and Oregon in the same breath: Ewoks.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Man, Regarding Henry was such shit. I remember writing a blog (on a now defunct platform) comparing Henry’s arc with Encino Man’s as to which was more satisfying. Encino Man won.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I agree – Lucas always seemed to make films for himself and failure or not, they were interesting films. THX 1138 stands out as an challenging failure, an anti-capitalist diatribe against modernity and state control over its subject. It also has a scene with Robert Duvall masturbating with a machine to rapdily flipping television programs. So, props on Jorge for having a vision of the future that became all too true. I also think “American Graffiti” is an indulgence only he and the crew could tolerate and which accidentally stirred nostalgia and box office.

  • Yezzir!

    You’re not wrong. Lucas made NO effort whatsoever to establish any political rules for his political world. So, it seemed like anyone could do anything at any time. For example, what’s with Chancellor Valium asking Padme if she would agree to a break to investigate her accusations? You have to ask your accuser for that? He just wanted an excuse to be lazy and sloppy under the guise of making a political space drama.

  • Yezzir!

    I found it interesting but not as fun. I think the main reason is because it’s more fun to watch Plinkett smash the shit out of a bad movie, rather than tentatively admire a sort-of good one. That’s why I re-watch all his reviews except for Star Trek, Titanic, or Force Awakens. They just aren’t as much of a laugh riot.

  • Bubs

    But that doesn’t mean it can’t be broken down all the way to its Midichlorians. Titanic is a competently made original story that won 186,000 oscars and made 62 trillion dollars. Yet Plinket was still able to deliver a full hour of solid critical analysis. He couldn’t even deliver 30 minutes of solid analysis about TFA and I don’t understand why. It seems like he got wrapped up in the drama surrounding the film and ignored the film itself.

  • Notorious W.O.R.M

    It might grow on me, I’m a cranky fuck. I agree, Mike being focused solely on deconstructing a shitty movie is just more entertaining to watch.

  • Quantum

    Yes, and directors of his time were friends, despite natural rivalries.

    Graffiti was made on a dare by Coppola, who teased Lucas with something like “I bet you can’t make a goofy comedy”.

    There are many stories like these, small things like Spielberg sugesting a camera angle to De Palma in the final scene of Scarface, which ended in the movie’s cut.

    There was “auter” work and the director was recognized.
    Scorcese, Coppola, Spielberg, Lucas, De Palma, Kubrick…

    And what do we have now, aside from Tarantino?

    Corporate suits with checklists to pass on to the director of the week.
    “Do this, or someone else will”.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    That was a magical time at one film school with so many talents converging at once. It also was mainly kids with ‘means’ to get these ideas going with few hurdle to clear, which at the time was an advantageous thing to be. I think studio execs were also influenced by better drugs than available today – greenlighting insanity like “Hi Mom!”, “Planet of the Apes”, and “Silent Running”. You gotta be friggin British or an outlandish video director to get your mitts on “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”, “Revolver”, and any number o other atrocities in the name of “art” committed in the past 10 years.

  • Quantum

    Hey, what’s wrong with Revolver?
    I liked it!
    😀
    Just kidding, and once more I agree with you.

    Exempting Tarantino, the last movie that made me go “Hey, this is new” was Trainspotting, and that was in 1996.

    I like some of the Guy Ritchie stuff (Snatch, and bits of Rock n Rolla) but it always felt a little too much gimmicky.

  • RetroArtist

    First, this should have been split into two different videos. Second, it’s almost like the soft reboot of Star Wars. You reuse many of the same jokes and observations and makes me long for the old RLM Plinkett reviews (which were far superior). This one was not worth the wait. It was pretty good, but not up to your usual standards.

    Also, looks like you did a bit of an about-face on TFA. In your Half in the Bag video, you praised it (even while admitting it was a soft reboot). It seems you changed your stance to just make jokes and still be relevant on social media. Anyway, not bad, but not great.

  • RetroArtist

    I agree. Not up to the usual Plinkett entertainment. Ironic, it’s a soft reboot of his past reviews. Omg..maybe he’s a genius like Lucas! LOL

  • Quantum

    I was about to ask what the fuck you’re still doing here.
    Go away, the time for witty quips has died an horrible death.

    That said, It’s always great to see you here.

    It’s like going for the first time in years to a pub that has been bought and renovated by a franchise, and still finding an old buddy drinking a pint.

  • RLMkeepitup

    star wars is just another intellectual property owned by disney inc. corporate board room decisions are not bold or stylistic, its more formulaic than Lucas by design

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    Mr Plinkett didn’t praise it on Half-in-the-Bag! He just sat there on his couch complaining about those two guys who wouldn’t fix his VCR! [Yeah, I know…]

  • fred

    The only thing I liked about this movie was the bread soup. It was creative and interesting, unlike everything else.

  • EJ

    Yeah I think Plinkett briefly touches on that – for all the blathering about politics, we never figure out how any of the politics work. Like the treaty in TPM. What does it say? Why does the trade federation want it so badly? Why is Naboo so against it? If the Trade Federation forces Keira Knightley to sign it at gunpoint, will the Senate actually recognize it as valid?

    We literally have no understanding of the stakes beyond “mean guys want cute girl to sign something she doesn’t want to sign.”

  • Red Skeleton

    Ohhhh noooooooo.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’ll buy that for <$1. But seriously it is odd the lack of a track on movies that big.

  • Like Icare

    You. Are. Missing. Point. THE.

    That’s OLD Star Wars. Pre Disney era. When Lucas accidentally left things in.
    That’s why such questions arise with prequels and make them look and feel incongruous – but not with the OT where treating sentient robots like slaves is logical.
    They ARE living in an evil empire after all.

    Disney era sentient droids are intelligent animal, comedy relief, pets.
    Take a Disney cartoon with non-speaking, non-singing animal in it – the animal companion in that movie is BB-8.
    Not R2D2, who is basically not even in the movie, nor C-3PO who is just an annoying humanoid alien now – only android of any consequence is a pet.
    I.e. A toy.

    So much for tackling issues and asking questions. By the movie or the audience.

    As for Lucas being smarter film maker… no. Smarter human? Maybe.
    He is rather shallow and uninventive as a film maker.
    From American Graffiti to the prequels all he learned is that instead of using 2 cameras to film it all in shot-reverse-shot – he can use two cameras and two monitors for that.

    What HE DID do back in the day was some serious soul searching.
    That’s why Star Wars is Buddhism-YAY and THX is Christianity-NAY.
    And that’s why he went and made a nostalgia movie, why he exchanged points with Milius on his nostalgia movie – and why ultimately he went on to make an old-timey Flash Gordon serial movie with scenes from Hells Angels and Kurosawa in it.
    He was pushing early 30s and wanted to be a kid again.

    And that’s why he couldn’t do the same with the prequels. He already found himself. He forgot (or rejected) all those things he bought into back in the ’60s and ’70s. He grew up.
    That’s why he tried to explain religious themes with midichlorians.
    There’s no magic kid. Just blasters.

    He’s not stupid. He’s just shallow.

  • Like Icare

    You are missing the point of the comment. Also… projecting what isn’t there to that which does not yet exist.

    It’s about the ADULT part being sterilized and sanitized out of TFA.
    Which is why “realizing she loves him”, Rey gives Finn a peck on the… forehead?
    Ever heard the expression “giving someone the cheek”?
    Here, a kiss on the cheek would be positively pornographic in comparison.

    People kiss two kinds of people on the forehead – babies and dead people.
    People kiss people they feel physically attracted to on the lips.

    Han and Leia in the meantime don’t even kiss.
    THE love story of the universe is sacrificed for the sake of lazy and incompetent writing.
    Thus, two people who risked their lives to bust the other one out of “fate worst than death” act like emotion emulating automatons.

    They’re not some high school couple who realized too late they had nothing in common, tried to make it for the kids and finally gave up. It’s Han “fuck it – I’m going back to help that kid destroy the Death Star” Solo and THE GODDAMN PRINCESS… AND Leia “I’m gonna get this guy out if it means leveling this place with a thermal detonator” Organa and THE GODDAMN HERO OF THE REBELLION.
    They don’t get to pretend to be your average divorced couple. There is too much stuff and passion packed into that relationship to end that way.
    Hating each other with a passion – I’d buy that.
    But doing the “we still love each other but alas… issues” – that’s lazy bullshit writing.

    And this being Disney… Hey… Remember all that sex in the Pirates franchise?
    Not only is there that whole romance and supposed love triangle in the first 3 movies – supposedly lecherous Jack ALSO has an old flame waltzing around. Remember the sexual tension in the 4th movie?
    Even with that nonsense about mermaids falling in love (with a random throwaway character) being the deus ex machina of the movie – it’s as flaccid as a dead jellyfish.

    Disney makes dumb, unengaging, middle-o-the-road, lowest common denominator spectacles. And by lowest common denominator they mean little kids. PG-13 and lower.
    That’s what we’ll get for relationships in the future.

  • RLMkeepitup

    and it looked delicious

  • Mike Magnum

    Every time i hear the word millennials. I think of Hans Solo turning the Millenium Falcon into shuttle bus. And the Passengers are called millennials. Why dose every generation need some dumb ass name. Why can’t we can’t call they young dumb shits. Or Young people for those who aren’t dumb.

  • EJ

    At least Millenials is kind of a cool name. I’m Generation X. Thanksssss a whole bunch, whoever comes up with this shit.

  • Mike Magnum

    I dont think a Generation should be called anything like Generation X or Millennials. Unless they have the Super Powers to back it up.

  • EJ

    Normal people don’t kiss someone they love on the lips when that person is in a freakin’ coma. Particularly if they’ve never kissed them before. If Rey had thrown herself weeping on Finn, now that would be some hack Hollywood melodrama.

    The only time there’s actually been sex in Star Wars, it involved a bunch of blathering about sand. I’m content if they keep it at arms length.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    Hey, Part 3 was awesome, just like the original Plinkett reviews, and had me guffawing many times. (“I don’t see footprints”) Parts 1 and 2 were a little slower; and given the first two parts were about a different topic than part three, I’d suggest splitting this into two 50-minute features. The first can be titled as a rebuttal of these “The Prequels were genius” theories, and the second (simply re-dubbing the numbering sequence so “number 4” begins again as “number 1”, etc) can be billed as the review of the Force Awakens.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    The bread soup was possibly my favourite scene too.But I do also like seeing relatively competent stormtroopers.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    Yeah, part of the addictive quality of the original Plinkett reviews was that the prequel trilogy was so soul-shatteringly awful, the reviews were like therapy (or as Plinkett put it, “closure”). The Force Awakens was pretty reasonable, hence the Plinkett review of it is simply an entertaining diversion: nothing more, nothing less.

  • Mike Magnum

    Overall i enjoyed the movie. I still think its better than the prequels. I mean the prequels might more creative. But there painful to watch. Anyways just didn’t care about Rey and Kylo Ren is more whinny than menacing. I think the only new character i really like was Finn and Poe. And story was lacking. But i mainly went to see for the original cast. But i still would watch it over the prequels. If i had too.

  • Matt M

    Dude, that was like the only thing I remembered about TFA after seeing it!

  • Christopher Kulik

    It’s not a good movie but I wouldn’t necessarily call it shit, although I wish I could read your ENCINO MAN comparison, sounds enlightening. J.J. and Harrison tried in their respective roles; the best thing about the movie was actually Bill Nunn (who recently passed away) as Ford’s rehabilitation nurse was great. The only great thing of an admittedly mediocre movie.

  • Christopher Kulik

    HENRY is not a good movie but I wouldn’t necessarily call it shit, although I wish I could read your ENCINO MAN character-arc comparison, sounds really enlightening! J.J. and Harrison tried in their respective roles; the best thing about the movie was actually Bill Nunn (who very recently passed away) as Ford’s rehabilitation nurse. He was the only great thing of an admittedly mediocre movie. Also, that was John Leguizamo in his film debut as the guy who shoots Ford in the head as he was trying to get cigarettes.

  • EJ

    To be fair they tend to emphasize the bit where Gerald Ford threw FDR down a mine shaft and then a dying Harry Truman was like “Thank you for saving me. I’m sorry I killed all those people.”

  • RetroArtist

    Haha 🙂

  • BaronVonAwesome

    I do think the first act of the film is quite enjoyable, mainly because you don’t know where they are going, or rather, you can retain some hope it’s somewhere interesting. This hope is of course crushed, but it starts off well all the same.

    Finn being a Storm Trooper who defects was a good idea, the escape from the Star Destroyer was a good idea.

    Jakku is an interesting planet because desert planets just generally hold a certain appeal, at least to me.

    The crashed Star Destroyers are also a great visual, anyone who has watched a documentary about Alang Beach in India can appreciate why that was a cool sequence.

    When Rey was living in the fallen over AT-AT and putting markings on the wall (though who doesn’t cross out 5 days!), that was a nice tempo.

    Kylo, as much as don’t like him, does start off well in the first act, he’s kills a village, he’s a bit mysterious at this point.

    So the first act starts off strong, the first time I watched it I thought, OK, not bad, traditional hero’s journey setup but with neat visuals and a cute actress, let’s see where they take this in the second act.

    But it goes nowhere and reverts to fan service.

    Shame.

  • Crixxxx

    Star Wars has been all about the merchandising since Jedi. They are not about creating a “modern mythology.” They are about making shitloads of money. Disney simply has the ability to churn them out faster than Lucas could. It’s nothing new, and it’s not worth RLM constantly griping about. Entertainment companies like to make money. They own a product that makes a ton of it. So they make more and more of that product. Basic Business 101. This is not art. This is a commercial product. Either live with it or let Star Wars go.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    People haven’t been able to resist buying tickets for those godawful Transformers movies, so Paramount keeps making them. Transformers! Directed by Michael Bay! Star Wars being Star Wars, it will go on forever.

  • netcrave

    No big surprise here, but I enjoyed this review again quite a bit. These reviews have the passion behind them, which the movies (they are reviewing) all too often seem to lack.

    Good job making this review and I hope this isn’t the last we’ll hear from good old Mr. Plinkett. 🙂

  • RLMkeepitup

    the legends are true, all of it, kevin bacon is still with us

  • Cream-A-Thon

    You are right, it’s mediocre, not shit – my typical over-reaction. I must find that comparison though because I think it would probably stand up.

  • RiverDevil

    1st plinkett review in 4 years = “constantly griping”

  • Now I Get It

    To live with it is to let Star Wars go.

  • Wolvy

    Hey, I’m one degree of Kevin Bacon. He bought a bento box at my small town restaurant I was working at.

  • Jim

    This is a triumph of editing. The ring theory thing cut with footage of Lucas and the mocap guy…classic.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Perfection?

  • Christopher Kulik

    Give me the blog & rough date and we could find it via the Wayback machine. I actually really want to read it now lol

  • Now I Get It

    It’s still interesting here. Sure, it’s not the gold rush it used to be, but it’s still got enough of that lawless feel that let’s a man know he’s free to peddle his soft word play to the prospectors, then maybe find a little “strange” on the surrounding boards come evening time.

    As a base of operations, you cannot beat a fucking website.

    Cheers, pardner.

  • Crixxxx

    Um, there’s more to RLM than Plinkett reviews. Go check Half in the Bag TFA review, Pre Rec TFA review, People vs. George Lucas HITB and tons of Star Wars-related videos they have put out since the Disney purchase.

  • Mugato

    you tried.

    *star*

  • Variant

    As it was foretold in the prophecy.

  • LameSame

    RLM’s comment section: the greatest source of haters, ironically.

  • RiverDevil

    even with all their properties, the rate at which RLM puts out any sort of content can hardly be described as constant

  • Cream-A-Thon

    RLM needs to liveblog Plinkett during an upcoming SW movie, Moulin Rouge One comes to mind.

  • Variant

    That’s only three things over the course of four years, and this is the first one that can be said is “complaining” about anything. Remember when everyone thought Mike was a pushover for “loving” The Force Awakens? Plus Pre-Rec is its own beast (not to mention most people seem to hate it), and The People vs George Lucas review happened in 2011, when Lucas did not sell Star Wars until 2012.

  • Darth_sedentary

    Hey Mike. Just wanted to say thank you for this. You’ve got more passion for your reviews than the filmmakers have for their flicks.

    I enjoyed the anal-sis on the ring theory and Part 3 had me smiling pretty wide. No footprints on the sand hill was great.

    I really enjoy HITB, but I hope we see another Plinkett review soon. Take care…

  • LameSame

    A.K.A.: “Mike’s Power Play: See Jay, Jack, & Rich stick their dicks back between their thighs because this has ONE MILLION VIEWS WITHIN THREE DAYS, YOU FUCKTARDS!!!: Remember Who Built RLM Edition”

  • Crixxxx

    Yeah, its more than 3. Check the RLM video archive:

    Star Wars Holiday Special BOTW Reviews
    Star Wars TFA: HITB Review
    Star Wars TFA: Pre Rec Spoiler Discussion
    Star Wars TFA: Plinkett Teaser 1 review
    Star Wars TFA: Plinkett Teaser 2 review
    Star Wars TFA: RLM Trailer Reaction
    Star Wars TFA: Rich Evans Trailer Reaction
    Star Wars TFA: Mike and Rich’s Predictions
    Star Wars TFA: Clickbait Video
    Welcome Back Star Wars
    Top Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Darth Vader’s Suit
    The People Vs. George Lucas HITB

    And yes I know the People vs. Lucas one was in 2011. I was listing it in addition to all the videos post Disney purchase.

  • Crixxxx

    You don’t think they frequently complain about movie franchises being sequeled, prequeled, rebooted and remade? How often do you watch their stuff? They complain about it all the damn time.

  • Variant

    I didn’t say it WASN’T more than three, I said you only listed three things. And now half of the things you listed are hardly a couple minutes long – and things like the “Pre Rec spoiler discussion” does not count as part of their content output because it’s just Jack and Rich sitting their talking, there’s no fancy editing or anything that would have taken any time to create. Just skip all the Star Wars shit then, there’s been PLENTY of content in between every one of your listings.

  • Variant

    Here’s all their NON Star Wars stuff, and yeah I’m going since hte beginning of time since that’s what you did.

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    dana carry got a golden globe for that performance, only thing is he can’t extricate it from his asshole, shame though, cause i always felt the fart joke never gets old

  • Variant

    Here’s every Half in the Bag episode that had nothing to do with Star Wars:

    Half in the Bag Episode 116: Blair Witch and Don’t Breathe

    Ben-Hurt
    by RedLetterMedia

    Half in the Bag Episode 115: Stranger Things

    Top 1 Things WE Didn’t Know About Suicide Squad

    Half in the Bag Episode 114: Suicide Squad

    Half in the Bag Episode 113: Star Trek Beyond

    Half in the Bag Episode 112: Ghostbusters (2016)

    Half in the Bag Episode 111: Independence Day: Resurgence

    Half in the Bag Episode 110: X-Men: Apocalypse

    Half in the Bag Episode 109: Captain America: Civil War

    Half in the Bag Episode 108: Green Room

    Half in the Bag Episode 107: Hardcore Henry

    Half in the Bag v Batman v Superman – episode 106

    Half in the Bag Episode 105 – 10 Cloverfield Lane and Me Him Her

    Half in the Bag Episode 104: The 2016 Oscars

    Half in the Bag Episode 103: Deadpool and Comic Book Movie Predictions

    Half in the Bag Episode 102: The Revenant

    Half in the Bag Episode 101: The Hateful Eight and The Ridiculous 6 (sort of)

    Half in the Bag Episode 99: Krampus

    Half in the Bag Episode 98: Creed and Victor Frankenstein

    A Conversation with Max Landis

    Half in the Bag Episode 97: 2015 Re-Cap (So Far)

    Half in the Bag Episode 96: Everest

    Half in the Bag Episode 95: The Visit and Turbo Kid

    Half in the Bag Episode 94: American Ultra

    Half in the Bag Episode 93: Fantastic Four

    Half in the Bag Episode 92: Pixels

    Half in the Bag episode 91: Ant-Man

    Half in the Bag: Episode 90 – Terminator: Genisys

    Half in the Bag Episode 89: Jurassic World

    Half in the Bag: Mad Max: Fury Road

    Half in the Bag: Episode 87: Disney’s: Marvel’s: Avengers: Age of Ultron

    Half in the Bag: Unfriended and Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

    Half in the Bag: Furious 7 and It Follows

    New Alien Commentary Track

    Half in the Bag: CHAPPiE

    Half in the Bag: Jupiter Ascending and Battlefield Earth

    Half in the Bag Episode 82: Inherent Vice and Oscar Buzz

    F*ck You, It’s January! (2015)

    Half in the Bag Episode 81: The Hobbit – The Battle of the Five Armies

    Half in the Bag: Nightcrawler and Birdman

    Half in the Bag: Interstellar

    Half in the Bag: Gone Girl and Annabelle

    Halloween Commentary Track Available NOW!

    Half in the Bag: 2014 Movie Catch-up (part 2 of 2)

    Half in the Bag: 2014 Movie Catch-up (part 1 of 2)

    Half in the Bag Episode 76: Into the Storm and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

    Half in the Bag Episode 75: Boyhood and Guardians of the Galaxy

    Half in the Bag: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

    Half in the Bag: Deliver Us From Evil, Edge of Tomorrow, and Transformers 4

    Half in the Bag: The Transformers Series

    Half in the Bag Episode 72: X-Men: Days of Future Past and A Million Ways to Die in the West

    Half in the Bag Episode 71: Godzilla (98) and Godzilla (2014)

    Half in the Bag Episode 70: Transcendence and The Amazing Spider-Man 2

    Half in the Bag Episode 69: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

    Half in the Bag Episode 68: Cheap Thrills and The Grand Budapest Hotel

    Half in the Bag: Robocop 2014

    Half in the Bag: Robocop

    Half in the Bag: The Legend of Hercules and Her

    Half in the Bag Episode 64 EXTRAS: Plinkett Eats!

    Half in the Bag Episode 64: The Wolf of Wall Street and 2013 Re-cap

    Half in the Bag Episode 63: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

    Half in the Bag Episode 62: Ender’s Game and Thor: The Dark World

    Half in the Bag Episode 61: Gravity and Carrie

    Half in the Bag Episode 60: Summer Movie Catch Up and THINGS

    Half in the Bag Episode 59: The Wolverine vs. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

    Half in the Bag Episode 58: Pacific Rim

    Half in the Bag Episode 57: Grown Ups 2

    Half in the Bag Episode 56: White House Down and The Lone Ranger

    Half in the Bag Extras: Zack Snyder, Superman IV, and The Justice League

    Half in the Bag Episode 55: Man of Steel

    Half in the Bag Episode 54: The Hangover Part III and After Earth

    Half in the Bag Episode 53: Star Trek Into Darkness

    Half in the Bag Extras: More Iron Man 3 Talk

    Half in the Bag Episode 52: Iron Man 3 and Pain & Gain

    Half in the Bag Episode 51: Oblivion and The Lords of Salem

    Half in the Bag Extras: Evil Dead Outtakes

    Half in the Bag Episode 50: Evil Dead

    Half in the Bag Episode 49: Oz the Great and Powerful

    Half in the Bag EXTRAS: Hollywood Trends

    Half in the Bag Episode 48: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters and Jack the Giant Slayer

    Half in the Bag Episode 47: A Good Day to Die Hard

    Red Letter Media reviews Movie 43

    Half in the Bag Episode 45 EXTRAS: Copycat Films and More Styrofoam Beating

    Half in the Bag Episode 45: The Last Stand and A Haunted House

    Half in the Bag Episode 44 Extras: Tarantino and More 2012 Re-cap

    Half in the Bag: Django Unchained and 2012 Re-cap

    Half in the Bag Episode 43: The Hobbit – An Unexpected Journey

    Half in the Bag Episode 42: Twilight – Breaking Dawn part 2

    Half in the Bag Episode 41: Skyfall

    Half in the Bag Episode 40: Sinister and Paranormal Activity 4

    Half in the Bag Episode 39: Looper and Dredd

    Half in the Bag Episode 38: Resident Evil series Part 2

    Half in the Bag Episode 38: Resident Evil series Part 1

    Half in the Bag: Episode 37 – Special guest star Tim Heidecker

    Half in the Bag Episode 36: The Dark Knight Rises (2 of 2)

    Half in the Bag Episode 36: The Dark Knight Rises (1 of 2)

    Half in the Bag set time lapse

    Half in the Bag Episode 35: The Amazing Spider-man

    Half in the Bag Episode 34: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and That’s My Boy

    Half in the Bag Episode 33: Prometheus

    Half in the Bag Episode 32: Battleship and Dark Shadows

    Half in the Bag Episode 31: The Avengers

    Half in the Bag Episode 30: Zaat

    Half in the Bag Episode 29: Cabin in the Woods and The Three Stooges

    Half in the Bag Episode 28: The Hunger Games and Jeff Who Lives at Home

    Half in the Bag Episode 27: Silent House and John Carter

    Half in the Bag Episode 26: Chronicle and Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

    Half in the Bag Episode 25: B-Fest 2012 Re-cap

    Half in the Bag Episode 24: Red Tails

    Half in the Bag Episode 23: The Devil Inside and Flyin’ Ryan

    Half in the Bag Episode 22: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and 2011 Re-Cap

    Half in the Bag Episode 21: Jack and Jill (2 of 2)

    Half in the Bag Episode 21: Jack and Jill (1 of 2)

    Half in the Bag Episode 20: What’s Your Number and The Black Ninja (2 of 2)

    Half in the Bag Episode 20: What’s Your Number and The Black Ninja (1 of 2)

    Half in the Bag Episode 19: Robot and The Last Circus

    Half in the Bag Episode 18: Drive and Contagion

    Half in the Bag Episode 16: Fright Night and Conan the Barbarian

    Half in the Bag Episode 15: Chicago Comic Con

    Half in the Bag Episode 14: Rise of the Planet of the Apes and Cyphan Con 2011

    Half in the Bag Episode 13: Cowboys and Aliens

    Half in the Bag Episode 12: Captain America and The Rocketeer

    Half in the Bag Episode 11: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

    Half in the Bag Episode 10: The 48 Hour Film Project

    Half in the Bag Episode 9: Summer Movie Catch-up

    Half in the Bag Episode 8: Troll 2 and Best Worst Movie

    Half in the Bag: Special Edition

    Half in the Bag Episode 7: Super and The Watchman Interview

    Half in the Bag Episode 6: Scream 4 and No Brand Con

    Half in the Bag Episode 5: Your Highness and Samurai Cop

    Half in the Bag Episode 4: Sucker Punch

    Half in the Bag Episode 3: Paul and Toronto Comic Con

    Half in the Bag Episode 2: Battle Los Angeles and Galaxy Invader

    Half in the Bag – Episode 1

    Shall I list the BOTW? Do I even need to seeing how only one of them has anything to do with Star Wars?

  • Crixxxx

    Completely irrelevant. If you don’t believe that they constantly gripe about movie franchises being made into cash-grab sequels, prequels, remakes and reboots, then you obviously don’t watch them very much.

  • Crixxxx

    The point is that they have repeatedly been griping about Star Wars and other movie franchises being made into endless sequels and reboots, and that it’s purely cash-driven. Go watch some of the videos. You’ll see this come up all the time, I promise.

  • Jim

    At 1:12, Mr. Plinkett starts to carefully explain why The Force Awakens needs….prequels?

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    didn’t pepsi coin the phrase gen x …. see i did a pop culture thing,,, aint i hip

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    yup..

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    i just wanted to say I’m so freaking tired of george clooney… off topic maybe, but i don’t care .. fuck george clooney

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    the cinematic definition of blue balls

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    is that the same blue lady in avatar, man these directors really have a thing for blue ladys don’t they

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I was reading some comments on other sites, and I can’t believe there’s people that actually get upset with Plinkett’s FAKE murdering of women, his FAKE racism, and his FAKE general misogyny. It’s like some people can’t differentiate fantasy from the real thing. I can understand not finding it funny, but there was a comment that went something like: “I had to stop watching when he said Chinamen!”

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    aka the red menace or is that the phantom menace, i get so confused

  • Malevolence

    Kind of missed alot of what was wrong with The Force Awakens, gave it more praise than it deserved…. think you reviewed it too soon after seeing it, its carrot is still up your rabbit hole

  • Jerome Gorden

    Rey was basically “untouchable”. I found the relatiohsip between her and Finn annoying, but I couldn’t exactly articulate why. Good job Mike!

  • Jerome Gorden

    Rey was basically “untouchable”. I found the relationship between her and Finn annoying, but I couldn’t exactly articulate why. Good job Mike.
    (apologies about the double postings)

  • While I enjoyed the review, even though I disagree with the general assessment of SW7, I was a little surprised by the whole “little kids don’t care about diversity” comment. Pretty sure a lot of minorities would disagree with you there. I am happy to see diversity in Star Wars, even if human racial diversity doesn’t make a lot of sense in a galaxy far, far away. Kids like connecting to someone who reminds them of themselves. I used to always play as Chun Li, as a rule, just because she was the only girl for that first game. Now there are quite a few girls, but I always connected more with that singular girl character in each of my games as a kid. Not surprisingly, Leia is and was my favorite Star Wars character. She’s pretty awesome AND a girl, so what more could a little girl want in their fictional role models?

    So it was still a fun review, but it seems Mike’s love for SW7 has waned a bit since he reviewed it in HitB. I feel like a lot of people are seeing its flaws now that nearly a year has passed, so when I say “I thought The Force Awakens was better than the Prequels but still nowhere near as good as the originals, and Finn serves no purpose in the story character-wise” I no longer have to duck and cover. But people still like it, and I guess we’ll have to see what 8 is doing and if this movie’s story elements carry over or if it goes for yet another retelling. But I definitely agree with Plinkett that there are a bunch of missed opportunities, but for me those missed opportunies were enough to make a beat for beat retelling of Ep. 4 kind of bland.

  • The Last Jawsbender

    i still think the after credits scene with george lucas and mickey mouse making out was a bit much

  • Totally agree. I loved the first act, minus the humor attempts (several lines made me cringe, like when Poe sassed back to Ren. I mean, it just told me our new villain wasn’t so scary, not so much that Poe was sassy. Even Han Solo watched his words around Jabba). Jakku was great, lots of wonderful visuals and Rey was very intriguing in her solidarity. The movie lost me right when they board the Millenium Falcon, and both times I tried rewatching it, I fell asleep when the get to the canteen. You are right, it is just fan service by that point, with a meandering plot, unnecessary characters, and some pretty stupid/pointless moments and conflict. ANOTHER DEATH STAR. Really.

  • I loved that visual, and apparently it was in camera! I do like most of Act 1…. and that’s about it.

  • BCFC25

    I thought all the stars had to align, 3 kings must die, 6 popes must wed before we could get another Plinkett review?

  • That was bold, very ahead of its time. The man who made the first all-black movie making out with the white slaver personified? I got a little emotional, personally.

  • instant relief

    Nice tits. Wanna skype?

  • Certainly a better love story than Twilight.

  • It’s not like he called them the Yellow Menace, or gooks, or slits, or fishheads or Japanese or something. Yeesh.

  • You say glory days like it’s in the past, and hasn’t always and won’t continue to always be with us. Crapping on the prequels is like the Force, it surrounds us, it penetrates us (with permission), it binds the galaxy together.

  • We don’t hate, we regurgitate!

  • Now that some stranger has mysteriously emptied my bank accounts, I’m starving and could really use that pizza roll you promised.

  • kollin46

    It’s really neat to see how RedLetterMedia has evolved over the years. It’s been almost a decade since the first RLM Star Wars review was released. Hats off to RLM for their bizarre in-depth analsis of Star wars as a whole.

  • junkevil

    If you never go to Wookiepedia, you’ll never know about Jizz music. Star Wars fans love Jizz music.

  • Nameaux-Mundanér

    “All that ring theory/people desperately trying to cast the prequels in a positive light stuff was totally new to me.”

    They’ve enjoyed above average ratings on Meta/Imdb/etc. for 15 years now – and the third one WAY above average.
    Did those reviews sound desperate? Does it sound likea desperate situation in the first place?

  • Jaws 3DD

    you can’t take a movie seriously with character names like Captain Phasma.. like that shit is stupid, Star Wars is for kids, but that shit is pathetic

  • Nameaux-Mundanér

    “If the first series of reviews woke me up to how bad the prequels really were”
    Woke you up to – or deluded into?

  • Nameaux-Mundanér

    It’s a Flash Gordon thing, has nothing to do with “kids”.

  • Jaws 3DD

    as i said it’s lame… flash gordon is a good name… captain Phasma? LOL

  • Nameaux-Mundanér

    It’s just from that general “cheesy vintage Sci Fi” territory – I don’t even remember the original FG names, but there’s stuff like “Princess Aura”, or VOY’s parody “Captain Proton”, that type of stuff you know.

  • Jaws 3DD

    false gordon was supposed to be cheesy bro…. star wars has darth freaking vader….

  • Nameaux-Mundanér

    And Flash Gordon was fucking Klytus 😉

    The first, original movie, had a lot of cheese in it, especially in the last act – which is, of course, great.

    Eh, I find “Captain Phasma” is a cool sounding name, and this is obviously what they were going for – probably doesn’t really fit the movie, but there’s some entertainment value to it.

  • Jaws 3DD

    the last act of a new hope was the greatest thing ever made.. and everything since has not been as good… until we got to Captian Phasma.. which is the bottom of the barrel

  • spacecarp

    I’m still paused at 50 minutes. Does Plinkett ever make it to Mordor?

  • junkevil

    Leave Captain Proton out of this. Paris needed that escapism because his life sucked.

  • spacecarp

    That’s what internet success does to people. They kill fewer hookers.

    *I forgot to say allegedly!

  • Joe

    Oh, ok. Then when is the next HitB? You hackfrauds!

  • spacecarp

    Tremors??

  • spacecarp

    ahahaha!

  • spacecarp

    What, do you expect physical confrontation and eye contact? The immense sacrifices that would take…

  • Nameaux-Mundanér

    His life sucked? He was banging hot Belana Torres, and the delaney sisters weren’t far away either – what an emo.

  • I, for one, wasn’t disappointed in the cooking of duck meat with this one.

  • Imaf

    I know that I’m the first one to ask this, but, when is the next Plinkett review? Wait a minute…

  • Variant

    Well… he didn’t simply walk in, if that’s what you’re asking.

  • Variant

    Would anyone like to explain to me how it’s a Flash Gordon thing? I looked it up, and every search of “Phasma” comes up with a picture of her character, and in her wikipedia article Flash Gordon is mentioned once, in reference to her name being Flash Gordon esque. Was there a character named that?

  • Variant

    As annoyed as I am by the name myself, I almost find it relieving that her name isn’t “Ooba Dooba Flibbidy Jibbidy”. The naming system George Lucas uses for Star Wars is just “make it sound like gibberish”. But this is more “make it sound KOOL”

  • Variant

    The midichlorians are powerful with this one. Here… take this Midi keyboard. Play me some tunes.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Ok,ok, this is great and all but where’s the HitB review of Mrs. Peregrine’s School for Peculiar Children?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Isn’t that a cartoon? Or at least looks cartoonie. Doesn’t seem like Mike’s bag.

  • RLMkeepitup

    kids don’t think that way. they don’t think hey this character is awesome AND its my race/sex/creed sooo bonus points. They just care if its awesome or not.

  • RLMkeepitup

    she didnt even fire her phaser

  • Maybe toddlers, yeah. But I just gave an anecdote about my own experiences from when I was in elementary school, and I’m going to go out on a limb here, considering all the blogs and controversy on this, and from what some of my friends have told me, and I’m going to guess that I’m not the only little girl who was excited when there was a girl option.

    Doesn’t mean I didn’t still like Han and Yoda and whoever, but a series would get major bonus points from me if the characters weren’t all white, blonde men. I loved Belle in Beauty and the Beast just because she was a brunette and liked to read like me, and I was 8 when that movie came out.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Seriously? I would have expected that the Star Wars movies had tons of audio commentaries. Judging by the amount of artists involved and producers who want to bath in the sunlight of SpaceJesus.

  • RLMkeepitup

    i can understand that, if you’re trying to identify with the character. but from memory i just imagine being on the adventure, so if diversity helps kids do that im all in.

  • Variant

    I’ve seen all their videos an embarrassing number of times, I don’t need to watch them again. The thing is probably that I’m not bothered by it being brought up, especially because lately it’s risen to new levels of ridiculousness. I mean, have you SEEN how many Marvel sequels are in the works? It’s a relevant issue I think, when considering what kind of movies get wide releases.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I don’t look at Metacritic/IMDB very often.

    It just always seemed to me that most Star Wars fans generally agree that the prequels are at worst terrible and at best a humongous disappointment.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Plinkett needs to review the apathy of the comments section.

  • Crixxxx

    Again, it’s a business. Marvel films make big money. Star Wars films make big money. It a product keeps selling, you keep stocking the shelves with it. Supply and demand – Business 101. These movies aren’t art, they are a commercial product, plain and simple.

  • Palpatine

    James Cameron and George Lucas are Smurfs fans.

  • RLMkeepitup

    nothing but love for the death of cinema, it can be passionate at times. there isnt much body language but we work with it

  • Norm Hull

    Yeah, it seemed like they were so afraid of reminding people of the prequels they avoided any and all space politics and backstory

  • Notorious W.O.R.M

    Oh they very much do. Little kids (4 – 6) are VERY observant of little details that make them similar/different from others. Developing of gender and other identities is based on being cognizant of myriad little details specific to each culture. Kids wouldn’t care about diversity if you raised them in a black box, but to articficially separate the world of adults and kids doesn’t work in any kind of a model of real world. I’m not being an asshole, just pointing out that talking about a platonic ideal of innocent kid world doesn’t match up with what happens.

  • DMS

    If kids or people in general really would care about diversity, then the first Star Wars trylogy would have been a flop. What makes story is not how people look. The only valid reason why would you care about such things is boredom of viewer/reader. At some point you are going to react like “I’ve seen this million times already… I need something new”; or similar like “thats unlikely in this scenario”. Apart from those and “I want to tell a story in which this is crucial part of it” diversity is a ludicrous target. And it is biased as hell perspective. The norm around the world is not multicultural, mulitiethnic and multiracial environment, but monocultural, monoethnic and monoracial one. Only handful of countries that attracted people from different backgrounds in recent couple of decades escape this pattern. And each one of them have different idea what “diversity” means. For US citizens diverse cast will have around 15% of blacks in it, because thats the ratio they find in real life (sometimes up to 25%). For Canadians this will drop below 5%. Diversity thus is so subjective, that its pointless. You know what would be refreshing? A cast that is 85% black and 15% white. What, that is not diverse anymore? Or how about 90% chinese, 5% japanese, 4% korean and 1% white. Not diverse? By what standards? OK, so maybe world reality is this standard. 60% asians, 15% blacks, 25% whites. And as aresult you will get image that is present nowhere (especially since this is geographical distribution). Please remember that “diversity” actually refers to political concept of representation of minorities, making it even more pointless and biased idea when stories are concerned. Minority in one region is a majority in other.

    People do not care about diversity, but about themselves, if at all. People prefer to have stories on average that are rooted in reality they know, since it helps to maintain suspension of disbelief. But this reality is very different from place to place and also from person to person, because it includes subjective perception. But to try to squeeze everyone’s perspective into a story is just absurd, its constraint that should never be there. You cannot have a story that will be 100% appealing to everyone. Even the best stories will always be unliked by some people. Making them additonally appealing by trying to tap into subjectivity of each viewer is going to alienate audience, not bring it closer, because you cannot make subjectivity – objective. In story you cannot have everything. You have to choose. And utlimately trying to provide something that everyone is going to like will get you into place where no one likes what you give. The only diversity that makes sense in story telling is diversity of stories themselves.

    And do you know what is reaction of everyone else in the world to the “diverse” cast? (so somebody like me) “Well…thats highly unlikely and strange, but whatever” “Obviously…thats how US looks perhaps. Possibly. Who cares. I think I would like to see movie resembling my country” or “Why they won’t make a movie that resembles reality?” because what they observe on screen is a complete departure from the world they live in. And funny thing is, that no matter how much you like what you know, at some point you will be bored by it and something different will be interesting, refreshing and you will start to prefer it. If a Guatemalan would be starving for stories happening in Guatemala or/and to Guatemalans, then he would create market for such stories. Then he would indulge. And then at some point, he will get bored. Saturation will make him to go explore something else. Like movie about americans.

    But it doesnt matter unless story is good. If story is good, it is universal. If it is universal, then diversity is artifical injection; since it is artifical it makes story worse, and that makes it less universal.

    Reading Shakespeare is as enjoyable experience as ever regardless where do you come from. The same goes for chinese classics or african tales. Story is what people need and like.

    OK, Im rambling like Plinkett right now, but the point is:
    1. Boredom
    2. Diversity is not the way world looks like
    3. People like what they know…
    4. …until they get bored of it.
    5. Ultimately story is the most important.
    6. If you really care about diversity, then you are doomed, because its not objective concept, but subjective description.

    Just look at your own story: you were bored with content that was good, but not close enough to what you knew or what you found refreshing. So you created something. This something however is a radical departure from how people who made tropes and genres that you use know. Just the fact that you use school runned by Church, set in american/anglosaxon/western city makes it alien to japanese audience (and basically 90% of world population too). They may enjoy it however precisely because they may be bored by what they know.

    Conclusion: unless you make a story in which “diversity” is intrinsic part of the story itself (one of the reasons is that character/characters/world looks in certain way) – don’t bother. At best its aesthetic choice without consequences, at worst it can ruin your tale.

    The anglosaxon fixation on “diversity” is really absurd to everyone around the world but you guys. Its so absurd and pointless as discussion in lets say Russia about whether there should be more Kazakhs in movies. For everyone but Russians this would seem a ludicrous problem. Yes, people would be happy to see THEIR group present in story in some important way; but utlimately its a pointless gimmick.

    The reason why people would be happy about that is because only handful of places were able to globalize products of their cultures – stories. Therefore of course they will talk about people from those cultures more than about from others. And rest of the world was unable to be as sucessful on global market. However once you will use this gimmick to appeal to “excluded” groups, the novelty will wear off quickly. Just like seeing tons of lightsabers seemed cool and knew at first, but soon after you had enough and you needed to see ophthalmologist, since you saw too much bright light. Once you regained sight (after operation done by famous doctor Harry.S.Plinkett) you realized tht lightsabers in themselves are boring and pointless. Just like diversity.

    You want a lightsaber duel? make a story that will make this duel mean soemthing. you want dversity? make a story in which diversity (in whatever way you understand it) is intrinsic and important part of it.

  • EJ

    Or he just took names he liked and modified or spelled them differently, like the Tunisian town of Tataouine or the Jeddak in the the Barsoom novels.

  • EJ

    White kids, especially boys, don’t think that way, because we’re used to most of the heroes in Sci-fi and Fantasy looking like us.

    “Kids don’t notice race and gender” is just silly. They may not think about race and gender in quite the same way adults do, but they’re aware of it.

  • tweakerbelle

    Hate to say this, but “Meh”. I couldn’t sit through the whole thing in one go. The Ring Theory section is way too long. You might as well get into Greimas Squares. By the time you got to talking about the movie, I was lost and didn’t care.
    On the other hand, you did have a lot of very interesting stuff in there – stuff I didn’t know about, so that’s a plus. So, Meh.
    I think we can put Mr Plinkett reviews to bed now. He did his job, and is an adequate foil for your regular film reviews, which are great. Your regular reviews and other features and works are so much more interesting – Best of the Worst is brilliant and deadly funny. Your Re-Views are new and working out nicely. Your game reviews bore the fuck out of me, but I don’t play games so there’s that.
    So, I’m OK if this is the last classic Plinkett Review. You done well donkey.

  • JCLAY

    Are Plinkett Star Wars reviews replacing long periods without Plinkett Star Wars reviews?

  • Nameaux-Mundanér

    Not a foolproof indicator, but it’s kind of a huge elephant in the room when it comes to statements like “fans desperate to redeem” or whatever – as that would’ve been more consistent had they actually been universally slated and been somewhere at 10% instead.

    I’d say these particular ratings are generally sensible though, give or take.

    The “fandom”, and the general “online movie culture”, is a bit of a separate entity – and one thing that can be said about it is that it’s heavily dominated by “zealotry”, so who finds what disappointing for what reasons or wants to redeem what to which degree, is kind of hard to appraise through all the nonsense.

  • Variant

    Hmm yeah I could see that. “Skywalker”… WONDER IF HE’LL GO TO SPACE.

  • curvycom

    @tweakerbelle:disqus Actually, I’ve been hoping that when they finally did another Plinkett, that they’d take some time to mock all that post hoc tractor hoc ring theory crap.

    Yes, I know it’s “proctor hoc” but it takes a friggin tractor to plow away all that bullshit.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    You’re right: seeing new clothes in the dryer wipes out my hard-on every time.

  • curvycom

    Absolutely, dude!!!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I still think people put way too much stock in metacritic and use it as some kind of unbeatable defense of whatever they like. That it’s quantifiable tricks people into thinking it’s an affirmation one way or the other. And I don’t think it is at all.

  • HG

    “I think we can put Mr Plinkett reviews to bed now.”

    No, we can’t. The Disney controlled Star Wars universe shitshow has only begun.

    Mike gave The Force Awakens a free pass because he thinks that these characters and the overall storyline will eventually develop into something good (it won’t).

    I can’t wait to see what he thinks of TFA after Episode VIII comes out, and it turns out to be a piece of shit.

    Maybe he should have waited for this new trilogy to be done before he made this review, but i think i feel i disturbance in the Force that tells me that we might need these reviews to eviscerate these new movies in the near future.

  • Thanatos

    Ahhhhh the days when life is worth living.

    I think you actually should have swapped the first and second parts of the review. Do the stuff about Episode 7 first, and the takedown of the prequel loving idiots and state of Star Wars after.

  • Imesseduptheemail

    I’ve never felt that way at all. I never had to look like a character for me to empathize with them. They never had to fit my race, gender, or even species at all. I always thought it was ridiculous that some people could be so narrowly empathetic that they could only connect with people just like them.

  • Thanatos

    Pearl Harbor was attacked by the Japanese? Will you defer your motion to allow a commission to explore the validity of your accusations?

  • Imesseduptheemail

    These people are screaming bloody murder at characters in books, videogames, and movies not ascribing to their politics and giving them validation, and you’re surprised they’re upset at Plinkett? It’s just all too expected for me.

  • Thanatos

    AV Club is such a huge pile of shit.

  • Thanatos

    It changes the narrative a bit from Lucas being a soulless business man to Lucas trying and failing with the prequels, rather than just playing it as safe as he possibly could. At least Lucas tried.

  • Variant

    I WAS IN THE POOL!!!

  • jwagner544

    I’m a little sad he didn’t call out the scene in Force Awakens when the 2 groups Han owes money to board his ship and he refers to the second group as “those little freaks” before we see them. Being a Star Wars movie this immediately lead to me assuming they’d be a group of small-ish aliens so when moments later it turned out he was talking about a group of Indonesian human men I literally laughed out loud in the theater.

    If this was intentional misdirection I’m amazed it made it in to this movie which is so clearly trying to celebrate it’s diversity.

  • Balgor Vern

    It’s on a par with the move title. Star Wars PEW! PEW! PEW!

  • Thanks for understanding!

  • EJ

    I’m probably in the minority, but I unironically loved Kylo Ren’s character. At first, he’s super scary! Using the force to stop blaster fire in mid-air, massacring a whole village. This guy is an evil badass! Then he takes off his helmet and it’s just Adam Driver’s dumb face. He tries to intimidate Poe, but Poe is indomitable adventure man, and laughs in the face of torture and death. You realize Ren’s basically just a psycho Darth Vader fanboy.

    I was kind of reminded of Samuel L. Jackson’s character in Jackie Brown. He thinks he’s a Samuel L. Jackson character in some other Tarantino movie. He thinks everyone respects him for his criminal acumen. But actually they’re just afraid of him because they know he’s a violent idiot.

    The scene where General Hux and Kylo are both in a conference with Snoke was hysterical in the way Hux clearly can’t believe he has to work with this buffoon. Domhall Gleason played that scene absolutely perfectly.

    Now if the rest of the First Order were just as goofy as Ren, it wouldn’t have worked. But I’m on board to see what they do next with this emo weirdo.

  • I actually preferred shows with animals as the main characters myself. My favorite Disney movies were all animal movies (Bambi, Lion King) because I loved animals, and some of my favorite games have reflected that (Tokyo Jungle should have been the top selling game ever, haha) but when I did watch stuff with human characters I was typically drawn to girl characters, particularly brunettes. I could see myself in their shoes doing all these amazing things. I remember my Chinese friends were super excited when Mulan came out because they loved Disney and could finally buy dolls and such of a Disney character who looked like them and was a positive role model.

    So while you did not have the same experiences as my friends and me, your experiences are not universal. And if you are a white male, you were not lacking for role models who represented you. On the playground I still pretended to be a Ninja Turtle as a kid, but had there been a cool girl turtle I would have been her instead of Donatello. It’s just nice to have options (and if you wanna talk about how I should have just made up my own characters, I did– I do comics for a living, haha).

  • Thanatos

    I’m pretty sure you could change the color of your lightsaber in Jedi Knight 2, and that happened before we ever saw any stupid purple lightsaber from Samuel Jackson.

  • Leo_Silva.

    Too much repetition of already seen concepts.

    Not nearly as good as the original trilogy.

    Hey, this review is exactly as Force Awakens.

  • Thanatos

    He’s saying diversity doesn’t really matter, and you shouldn’t care. If it’s there, it’s there. If it’s not, so what? It has nothing to do with the quality of the movie or the characters, which are the things that actually matter.

  • LawlMartz

    The operative words were . I’ve got nothing but love for Lucas for creating a franchise that’s been a formative presence in not only my childhood, but life. He was also involved with Indiana Jones, another fantastic and well-loved franchise. I’d never discredit him for just the prequels, even if they were bad in retrospect. I was a child when they were released, and I ate it up. It honestly wasn’t until Plinkett came along that I even thought of them differently.

    I agree, Michael Bay or any given Yes Man action schlock director out there wouldn’t make for interesting material because it’s a simplistic kind of bad, as you said. The same could be said for the ultra-formulaic superhero movies and horror movies (a trend which is finally starting to die down, thank God).

  • Thanatos

    Did you honestly just try some kind of idiotic check your privilege argument?

  • Thanatos

    Well stated. I particularly like Dantooine in A New Hope. Tarkin almost rolls his eyes when Leia tosses it out as the base location, like it’s some nowhere random place and he couldn’t care less about it. Then later they say they searched it and found nothing – and it’s never mentioned again. You never see Dantooine. They don’t cut down to Stormtroopers riding lizards searching some ruins for the rebel base. They just mention they went there and then we’re moving on to blowing up better planets.

    Amusingly, you end up exploring Dantooine in one of the Knights of the Old Republic video games, which takes place thousands of years in the past.

  • Thanatos

    Yeah, it’s a fairly safe bet someone’s going to end up going to Dagobah in one of the next movies to search for Yoda’s long lost walking stick or for training or some other bullshit reason to bring it back…….

  • EJ

    Thank you! I distinctly remember leaving AotC with the woman I was dating at the time and we both basically said, yeah, that was kinda bad but, if we’d seen it when we were the age that we were when RotJ came out, we probably would have loved it.

  • Thanatos

    Finn just escaped from an organization that probably monitored his internet browsing and had strict regulations on co-worker fraternization.

    He should have been cruising for some action, Edwards style.

  • Thanatos

    If you use the microwave they’re all mushy. They’re crispy if you use an oven.

  • Thanatos

    The real question is, do we want Episode 8 to be as bad as Into Darkness so we’ll get a good Plinkett review, or do we want Episode 8 to be a good movie so we get a good movie?

  • Strelnikov

    He’s trying to be the George Clooney the public demands, not the normal dude he probably is when the stagelights are off.

  • Thanatos

    Maybe you should direct the next Star Wars movie!

  • Thanatos

    They were Little Caesars. They clearly didn’t cost much.

  • daxypoo

    moar cop dog

  • ninja egyptologist

    I still believe in you Mr. Plinkett. Never mind the haters.

  • fred

    There’ll be a about 6 more for all the little cartoon shows about STAR WAAARS.

  • fred

    It was a lot of the same material from the older reviews. I was disappointed with TFA as a pick. That Ring Theory shit took up like 30 minutes. Nobody fucking cares about those Star Wars conspiracy retards.

  • Imesseduptheemail

    Male yes. Native American, so not white, no. All the sympathy in the world for them these days where they’re everyone’s scapegoat, though.

    I recognize that my experience isn’t universal, but a contrasting anecdote was offered mainly to show that the reverse also isn’t universal. Even as a child I respected people for their character and their actions, more than for their race or sex. I think it’s ultimately shallow to only want to emulate people who are the same as you since there’s so much more important to an individual as a human being, or, well, a sapient being, than just superficial features.

    Also, trivia time. There is a female turtle in the old cartoon, her name’s Venus.

  • I don’t actually get the whole white/male shitting on you see these days. I’ve talked to guys who don’t understand that sexism and such still exists, but it’s because they have not experienced it themselves and they themselves aren’t sexist, so I don’t blame them, but I do implore them to understand that yes, women still get treated poorly in some work situations and yes, minorities still get shat on even when non-racist whites aren’t around. I was talking to another woman about sexism and she said women can’t be sexist toward men because we don’t have the “power” and I was like “Wait, what??”

    Oh sure, not every single minority/girl will cling to characters that represent themselves, but I’ve just heard way too many stories about the need for diversity in kids’ media to be able to ignore it. It’s one of those things that doesn’t hurt, at the very least, so I see no reason to oppose diversifying characters. If you take social implications and everything out of the picture, a varied cast is more interesting just on a visual level. I loved Captain Planet and all the different characters on that show, even if that was part of its agenda, haha.

    And excuse me, but I said COOL girl turtle. In no universe was Venus De Milo a cool character. Pretty sure she was not in the cartoon, too. I think she was just in that horrid live action show.

  • Crixxxx

    Cop Dog 2: Psychiatrist Dog. Little Timmy or Billly or whatever the fuck his name is needs professional help for his childhood trauma and seeks out the help of everyone’s favorite canine shrink, Sigmund Fluff. Your whole family will be “howling” with laughter as Bobby attempts suicide by throwing himself in front of a car and then his mom tries to revive him with water. Coming to your video store this Christmas.

  • CapedBaldy

    That’s a nice SJW construct that gets pushed on people… but it’s mostly bullshit. Girls like Boba Fett. Black People like Luke. White kids like Colt 45.

    It’s just a lie to force diversity and feminism on people who don’t need it.

  • TomBaum

    Well said.

  • bleurgh

    My problem with this argument is that dudes who go to all male private schools (which is what I imagine the First Order is like) don’t graduate eager to get in the game, but rather totally incapable of talking to a member of the opposite sex.

  • CapedBaldy

    How does it feel to be brainwashed to hate yourself?

    You believe that white boys are somehow inferior to the rest of the world and morally bad from the start.

    You should be ashamed of yourself.

  • CapedBaldy

    So if that’s true – you’re saying racism is natural?
    You can’t have it both ways.

  • I disagree, of course, haha. I’m not saying that black kids can’t like Luke, and as a little girl I was pretty obsessed with Donatello instead of April O’Neal. But I don’t know why you bristled at the idea of diversifying casting in media for kids! I only really see good things that come from that.

    I’m not a SJW, and I have definitely met those sorts who come down pretty hard on white people or men or whoever for having differing opinions, but I know I personally appreciated a cast not entirely made up of white males when I was a kid. Maybe it didn’t bother you, but I’m certainly not alone.

    I actually live in Japan, which as you know is like 99.2% Asians, and part of the downside to a homogenous lifestyle is that sometimes Japanese people don’t know how to treat foreigners. I’ve seen little kids hide from me because I’ve been the first non-Asian they’ve ever seen, and adults will treat me like a child even though I’m 32, and the stereotyping they cast on foreigners is pretty hilariously bad most times. Half-Japanese are often treated as foreigners, too, because people just don’t know how to relate to someone slightly different from themselves.

    So to me, diversity is pretty important in this modern world where everyone is connected. I’m sorry you disagree!

  • TomBaum

    Plinkett says he “hated” it where exactly?

  • Bubs

    Criticizing =/= hating.

  • Notorious W.O.R.M

    No? Noticing differences doesn’t have to mean you believe they’re more important than the myriad more similarities. But it’s in a huge part a job of the adults to create context for this and create world (and media) that reflects the equality. That’s why I’m all for movies being as diverse as possible. They just have to not suck.

  • Jawsoween 2016 The Rebootquel

    Cop Dog 3 – The Puppy Strikes Back… directed by M Night Shamalon, featuring your favorite actors, brad shitt, george clownly and sarah bullshite, fun for the whole family, but me, i’ll be up the bar, drinking my pain away

  • Douglas Burns

    number twoooo!!

    Epic ending

    Oh and more plinket.

    MORE!

  • Imesseduptheemail

    We could probably have a long conversation about sexism, but I think
    that’d be going a bit far on the tangent, so I’ll drop that here after a
    summation of what I feel the problem is that’s causing the blame game.
    It’s just simple scapegoating, people always want to find a simple
    target to vent all their frustrations on, because it’s far easier than
    recognizing that not all members of a grouping are the same and that
    something is a complicated issue that needs a complex approach and
    dealing with it maturely. Back in the middle ages you’d blame all your
    problems with the world around you on Satan, now for some issues at
    least, you blame a sub-section of society that works as an acceptable
    target, in this case whites or men in general.

    Back onto the main
    topic, I feel that diversity in media isn’t a problem if it’s within
    the creative vision. I always felt that being inclusive for the sake of
    ticking a bunch of marketable check boxes felt… wrong and pandering.
    Like being spoken down to and treated like a child, in a way. And you
    know big companies just do that for money. That’s why I’ve never liked
    it when you have people ranting and raving about “Such and such needs
    more women.” or “So and so needs less whites.”, because it seems like
    it’s demanding that someone compromise their creative vision to appease
    someone throwing a fit, or for the sake of squeezing more money out of
    people.

    Note though, that I don’t really mean people expressing a
    desire for more games with female protagonists, as an example, but the
    kind of people who step into a previous established franchise or media
    and say that X needs to be changed to suit them, the fans be damned.
    That’s what’s always struck be as childish behavior, whereas just asking
    for more of something in a media genre in and of itself is a reasonable
    request as long as they’re not getting nasty about it. Ultimately. I
    think people should be encouraged to express their ideas and do what
    they want creatively, within taste and marketability if they plan to
    sell it, of course. Not to have to compromise it to tick check boxes,
    but also not to stop them if they set out to make a diverse cast because
    that’s part of how they envision their work. That’s their right as a
    creator. That’s how I look at it, anyway.

    And yeah, Venus really
    was terrible, wasn’t she? I vaguely remember a cartoon Venus though, but
    it’s possible I’m mixing her up with the female lizard (Mona Lisa?) who
    definitely was animated.

  • The Da Jawsy Code

    All I can say is, at the very least, Mace Windu was not in this movie, at that can only be a good thing.

  • Nameaux-Mundanér

    So you’re going the “critics and audiences back then were in denial and wishful thinking” route – whether that’s true or not, ultimately depends on how reasonably they made their points vs. the slatings make their points.

    The latter’s consistent failure to make sense seems to make a rather good case against it – why is it that critics like Armchair Directors only really start to sound reasonable when they get to the 3rd one and give it a relatively positive review (with some reservations)?

    RLM namedropped them in the “yt critics” montage, but I didn’t see them try to refute them alongside with the fluff clickbait articles – I doubt they could; their own ROTS review relied on lots of nonsense through its run; TPM review was basically talking about plot holes and then saying the characters had no personalities without supporting their statement in any way.

    Plinkett does the same with Obiwan in the 2nd movie, but then he starts listing a whole bunch of emotions/character traits he has, effectively refuting himself – in the 3rd review, the movie has no emotions according to one section, and is teeming with hate revenge etc. according to another section.

    So… should those original deluded / paid off critics have condemned the movies because their monk protagonists are too emotional and this “contradicts the Jedi code” (it doesn’t actually)? Should they actually have gotten triggered by the fact that it’s “too dark” and given it a 2/10 because of that?

    Would it take “desperate fans” to claim factors like those 2 have no impact on movie quality at all – or that they don’t have to refute the “emotionless robots” claims because the critics already refute it in their own reviews?

    So yea – Matrix Revolutions holds a 30% there; don’t look any further if you want to find an “unreasonable” score on the aggregators; these ones happen to be more solid.

  • Mona Lisa was awesome! I bought her action figure as soon as she came out, and Raph was pretty cool so I liked that she was his girlfriend… well, in my head they were dating. I loved her voice actress and loved how she could basically take care of herself, and I had a pet lizard at the time so she was the coolest, haha. I really wish they had used her more often. I think she was in just one episode ;_;

    We need to bring Satan back, he was a great scapegoat, haha.

    I have a lot of mixed feelings about diversifying for the sake of those marketing checkboxes. On the one hand, yeah, that’s pretty despicable trying to placate minorities so they can win awards they can mark on the DVD box or whatever and bring in more moola. On the other hand, even if the intentions are not good, those bad intentions are bringing in more diverse characters. There was definitely a time when Hollywood would not cast a non-white man as a leading male, and I’m glad that has changed and continues to change, albeit slowly.

    The new trend is taking previously white characters and making them black (usually, sometimes Hispanic) and that to me is a total cash grab. I don’t know how I feel about that. I think at first I didn’t like it, mostly because it was weird to picture a famous superhero as anything different from how they were in the comics, but I realized I didn’t care much about whether Nick Fury was white or black so I just went with it. It’s going to be weird seeing Mary Jane from Spider-Man as a black girl, though– mostly because I identify her so strongly by her red hair. I was never a fan of Power Girl, though, so when they announced she was going to be black I just thought “Wait, no more boob window??” and cared more about that than her no longer being white. So I tend to take a neutral stance on this subject. It doesn’t usually affect me, but it makes some people happy and some people unhappy.

    Ghostbusters was a stupid fucking cash grab gimmick. That’s sexism, I know, but I was annoyed when they made them women just so they could make that the selling point. That movie was shit and I think all my friends who liked it just don’t want to sound sexist. I’m a girl, I liked the original Ghostbusters, I hated the new one. That is a fine example that goes along with what you were saying, and I don’t want this. I would have rather there been a new series coming out with cool female characters leading the story, not a soft reboot of a pre-existing franchise.

    I don’t want them to redo Star Wars, but if they are making more, with new characters, and those characters happen to be black or Latino or a woman, that’s fine by me. That’s not really changing anything, and while it’s probably part of the cash grab efforts Disney does, it did make a lot of people happy and didn’t really change anything to the original mythos. Their race or gender didn’t really change their characters. It was nice seeing a varied cast, and I don’t think it felt too shoehorned in to have Finn be black, etc. Not the way Disney is doing it with Marvel where they are straight-up changing the race of characters who were previously white. But like I said, I have mixed thoughts and opinions on that.

    I guess the other thing to consider is that enough people want these changes that studios are slowly starting to make efforts to include other races, etc. Yeah, they might be cash grabs, but Hollywood almost exclusively makes decisions based on expected earnings. They never felt this kind of pressure in the 60s, but after the 90s it became obvious that white males were not the only ones buying movie tickets. I watched a Tom Hanks movie the other day from 1986 or sometime and every single character was white, even the background characters, and that struck me as really odd because I’m used to seeing a bit more variety in modern movies. And I like the change, so I’m not going to come down on movies too hard for doing it for $$$ reasons.

    It would be nice if creators were able to write new stories and new characters that didn’t have to fit into a franchise, but that is not how Hollywood is right now. I do comics for a living, and I have submitted stories featuring minorities and non-stereotypical lead females, and I was told to change the race of my characters or physical appearances to look more socially acceptable (ie a tan-skinned masculine female character with small breasts needed to be blonde, have white skin, and big tits because she was the main character and needed to be “prettier” even though the whole point is that she’s not that kind of character). It sucks. Creators don’t have a lot of rights these days.

  • Spoiled Ants

    “Go to SmurfSmuttdotcorn to get some hot blue ‘action’.
    Or watch Avatar.”

  • IRONMANAustralia

    Dantooine is a great example. When I first heard that line I actually thought it was cool precisely because it is similar to Tatooine. Out of bazillions of systems and planets you’d expect to occasionally hear two that were similar. It’s what I’d term a ‘realistic anomaly’.

    Like the average classroom full of kids will have some coincidence like that. Two kids named “John”, or two with the same birthday, uncommon characteristic, etc. and everyone knows a romantic couple with some kind of noticeable thing like ‘Ben and Jen’, or some kind of “Julie Gulia” type shit.

    When there’s an engineered absence of that in fiction, you don’t notice – but your brain did.

    So I always thought it was kinda cool.

    I did hear speculation that she was originally supposed to be pointing the finger at Tatooine, but they thought better of that, (for a number of obvious reasons), and it was changed during production, (though I’ve never looked further into that), but either way it was a good call.

    And you sir are abso-fucking-lutely right about the “Stormtroopers on lizards” thing. That’s precisely what you expect to see from lazy writing, and it really is that predictable, and why it’s so excruciating when you actually see it.

    The dialogue equivalent is hearing someone use “hydrospanner” in a sentence with an inflection that indicates undue emphasis on that word, like “Hey everyone, memberberry Han talking about ‘hyrdospanners’ from ‘The Empire Strikes Back’?”

    They’ll also use it for a stupid purpose that undermines it as a very specific tool, a general tool, or just something Han had available and was using to MacGyver the Millennium Falcon, but whatever the case it ruins the mystique and your shrunken universe is now full to bursting with hydrospanners.

    For example, if you see the Empire using a hydrospanner to fix a Star Destroyer hyperdrive, then that implies everyone with a ship has one and it could be some specialised tool for hyperdrives.

    If you heard idiot kid Anakin Skywalker talking about using one to fix his podracer, (and I’m shocked you didn’t), then it implies it’s a more general tool like a futuristic screwdriver. Meaning there’s even more of them in a galaxy that initially seemed like it had a more diverse array of technology.

    Either way, you’re better off not knowing.

    The Stormtroopers on lizards will well and truly happen when someone uses a hydrospanner to fix a lightsabre. Mark my words.

  • IRONMANAustralia

    Racist.

  • No Name

    Lacking the edge of the previous Star Wars reviews. Needed more swearing and not so much analyzing.
    Plinkett is NOT a hipster movie critic, but an old psychopath who hates everything.

    But still, it was enjoyable as always and of course … the ending.
    Glad to have you back you old hag!

  • IRONMANAustralia

    Well it comes down to what I say in another comment above about ‘realistic anomalies’. You can have too many or too little improbable revisits to established aspects of the setting and it just seems wrong.

    Nobody had a problem with Vader being Luke’s father in that regard, because it makes as much sense as Mozart meeting Salieri despite them being born in different locations. It seems cool that happened, while at the same time being perfectly reasonable given the ‘size of the world’ at the time.

    Obviously even in a big galaxy there are perfectly logical reasons two particular people’s paths may cross – and more than once – or for them to return to the same planet. Even in the ‘Star Wars’ original trillogy there are undoubtedly core systems and planets of greater significance without any such thing being explicitly stated. But Queen Amidal… (fuck I’m falling asleep just saying her name) … landing her dumbass on Tatooine, and toddler Anakin building 3PO? Seriously? Go fuck yourself George.

    In a universe established to be that variegated, (and not all fictional universes are in their broader strokes – like nobody would be surprised to see Captain Kirk on Vulcan again, or be shocked to run into Capellan shitbags in Blackjack BattleMechs on Halloran V more than once), revisiting an aforementioned planet or background character should be a rare treat and not the rule.

    In the original trilogy Lucas left us with an unique slice of a massive universe, and the fans wanting more. In the prequels he gave us the information they thought they wanted, but definitely didn’t need. He could have drip-fed information on how lightsabres and the Death Stars actually worked while showing us new slices of a galaxy far, far away until the stars themselves burned out, but instead he shovelled midi-chlorians and kids with lightsabres down our throats until we collectively choked on it.

  • IRONMANAustralia

    Bingo!

  • spacecarp

    Of course and you’re right! I think Plinkett is on to something with that gas-powered recliner though.

  • Notorious W.O.R.M

    Hater who hates people hating on haters, because they misuse the word “hate”, gonna hate in a hateful way. Wa-hate!

  • Red Skeleton

    i was gonna say this.

  • Red Skeleton

    Yeah i’m not gonna say anything bad about this review, other than it’s not AS good as the previous ones, but still good. Although I do wonder why the 100-page Plinkett rebuttal got dismissed as “meh” but Ring theory gets 30 minutes of analysis.

  • Variant

    I just wanted to say right off the bat, although I’m about to disagree with you (to an extent) – I appreciate your thoughtful arguments and your unique perspective. But what I wanted to say on this note is just that – I think that diversification feels to me like a “just in case” thing… like “just in case kids care about this”… because as you’ve admitted, not everyone (and not every child) is as attached to the idea. Some may further generalize the self-identification with who is one screen, especially in a universe where there are so many weird aliens that still basically act like people. It could go something like this: “Luke Skywalker has two arms, two legs, and a face. Just like me!” Because they’re both human! Maybe if we taught kids from a younger age that being HUMAN puts us on equal ground, then this wouldn’t have to be something we worried about so much. That being said though – that’s not the world we live in. So I actually don’t have any sort of argument “against” diversity other than it might limit casting choices, and that’s not really important enough to me to try and act like I know how every child out there thinks. So I also agree – it can’t hurt. So I’m not complaining really, because the casting was fine in retrospect.

  • RLMkeepitup

    last night Jay brought up that the title of the video is star wars awakens, hence it covers whats up with the franchise between the prequel and TFA. Still hoping for a remake holiday special with Carrie Fischer and Harrison returning to sing. it could be found footage just make it happen

  • IRONMANAustralia

    33:41 Made me laugh because it immediately gave me a mental image of a kid bringing a Jar Jar Binks lunchbox to school – and getting the living shit kicked out of him by the other kids.

    That kind of thing probably explains the low sales figures for a lot of prequel merchandise – and Jake Lloyd’s face.

  • Variant

    I was going to write a similar argument about simply being able to identify with characters that look “human” but being that Star Wars is full of personified aliens and critters, I see no reason not to take it to the next level like you just did – really kids could potentially identify with anything that has feelings. That’s pretty much where I sit on this issue.

  • instant relief

    Get sucked, you dicks.

  • shogunmaster

    I agree it wasn’t as good as the original reviews, but I thought that was Redlettermedia going Meta. The new Star Wars movie isn’t as good as the originals either, so making a review of it not as good just goes to the next level…

  • shogunmaster

    I agree this review wasn’t as good as the original reviews, but I thought that was Redlettermedia going Meta. The new Star Wars movie isn’t as good as the originals either, so making a review of it not as good just goes to the next level…

  • Malevolence

    1hr45min of Mr. Plinkett licking JJ Abrams’ Sarlacc Pit

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Even if you were right – which you aren’t – it would be irrelevant. You can argue that kids would be more involved in movies if they were only 5 minutes long, to deal with their short attention span. Or if you gave the kids candy and nap time half way through. Just like ‘diversity’, those are meaningless irrelevant accoutrements that do nothing to contribute to the medium to which they are being falsely attached.

    Furthermore, ‘diversity’ as an end-all, be-all is destructive. ‘Diversity’ is Jurassic Park 2, where two white parents for some inexplicable reason have a black kid (who is also apparently an Olympic gymnast). It is never explained; hack screenwriter David Koepp just thought it would be great for ‘diversity’. And all it does is make every single person in the theater say “wait, what?!”

    People like you are beyond tiresome. You believe in a social construct, just like the people who believed in chakras and mantras and mood rings. You lack the mental rigor to understand that ‘diversity’ itself is not the goal; it is merely (to an extent) a visible symptom of a healthy society. If you do not have ‘diversity’, it means something inequitable is happening below the superficial layer. Not all inequity is pejorative, natural systems exhibit inequity; but if it is harmful, you certainly can’t fix it by tweaking the superficial layer and shoving gay characters into Star Trek or hiring less-qualified female engineers or any of the other stuff the SJW hippie mentality has insisted will ‘fix everything’.

    Just let people tell stories and stop nannying everybody. If you think there should be more Star Wars slash fiction, write it yourself. Don’t go on Facebook and hector an actual author because you think there aren’t enough of your pet ethnicity in his creation.

  • IRONMANAustralia

    Yeah, it’s like poetry, so that they rhyme. Every RLM review kind of rhymes with each movie.

    … except when they don’t because they are using circles within circles.

    I’m vomiting in stanzas.

  • Variant

    And I think they continue to try to fool us from seeing this “universe shrinkage” by making up whatever they want every time they can fit in a Cantina scene. Back in the original Star Wars, like you said, it felt indicative of a larger universe – but now that we’ve seen all the pointless expansions on the more iconic Star Wars shit – it just feels like a bunch of random shit artists throw in. And I’m sure in a way that’s what it was back then, but because Star Wars has now shown its collective universe to be much thinner than we originally anticipated, it makes those scenes just feel like fluff now. Because they keep throwing them at you, even in the prequels, cantina scenes populated by visually creative and interesting characters – but now it’s more evident than ever that it’s all just visual – no actual thought was put into each of these characters and their origin stories. It’s a shame, really. I’d love a fully fleshed out Star Wars universe – they don’t have to explain everything we’ve seen, they just need to add more fleshed out things so our brains can again accept all the random shit that’s thrown at us. As it stands, I can see right through the facade and it almost comes off as kind of a jarring difference between the main story and the backdrop of its setting.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    This probably intentional, but this is the first time we see Plinkett in a vulnerable position, and is almost the victim.

  • RiverDevil

    Revenge of Nadine?

  • EJ

    I was at a conference a couple of years ago and one guy that was presenting was wearing a tie that had young Anakin and Jar Jar on it. It was especially jarring (no pun intended) because he was wearing a fairly conservative suit and he didn’t seem like an otherwise particularly wacky guy, and the subject of his talk were interesting but somewhat dry mathematical analysis techniques. But we all agreed he deserved mad respect for that fashion choice.

  • EJ

    It’s actually “ergo propter hoc” but you probably knew that.

  • EJ

    Nah I’m good. I mean, whatever might be wrong with me, at least I’m not you.

  • Kali Thoulouse

    or maybe they actually watched it again and again and have the same criticisms and views they held when they made the first review.

    just a thought.

  • OrangeChrome

    What the fuck is a “video store”?!

  • EJ

    Cop Dog 4 will be a soft reboot of the original Cop Dog.

  • OrangeChrome

    It’s funny.
    Everyone just wants the same movies again and again. When one is remade, everybody says, “not as good as the original”.
    Everyone wants Plinkett reviews again and again. When one is made, everybody says, “not as good as the originals”.
    It’s like you’re all saying, “I wanted this review to be exactly like the older reviews!”
    If you want to watch the originals, go watch the originals. Nobody is stopping you. Whiny bastards! 😉

  • OrangeChrome

    This review was exactly what it should be. We’ll see what he does with The Matrix Trilogy though.

  • Variant

    I put Plinkett reviews on to help me sleep 😛

  • Thanatos

    Hence his complete awkwardness over the course of the movie?

  • Thanatos

    Well, what you’re talking about is the lightsaber training ball. There was NO REASON for it to show up in Clones except to shove it in our faces that “Hey remember that cool thing from a better movie? IT’S BACK!” Conversely, it showing up briefly in Force Awakens serves pretty much the same purpose, but it’s far more natural (yeah it was probably still sitting around in some container on the Falcon since we never saw Luke take it with him and they were kind of in a hurry at the time, Finn just tossing it aside because he doesn’t know what it is makes sense) so it seems less like just blatant pandering.

    The real thing about not showing them searching Dantooine is it allows you to make up your own headcanon about what went on down there. You can reasonably assume the place is habitable since the rebels DID have a base there, so it’s also probable the empire stormtroopers massacred some locals in their quest to get information about where it was and how long ago they were there, JUST like they did on Tatooine. Without showing us a single image the empire seems even more evil than ever.

  • RiverboatGrambler

    That’s right, you tell RLM who Mr. Plinkett is.

  • EJ

    Damn, you sure fired up the red-pill crowd.

  • Curtis Mitchell

    I mean the movie really just wasn’t that bad so there wasn’t much to talk about. I guess analyzing the saga as a whole was the way to go with this thing but overall “ehh”

    Batman v Superman now there is a great movie for a Plinkett review.

  • Ben Carr

    I do too! I’m not alone!

  • Palpatine

    Oh, I would love to see Plinkett review Batman v Superman. That film deserves it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Their Phantom Menace review came out mid December 2009. That’s less than 7 years ago so it hasn’t been almost a decade unless you’re using a very odd method of rounding.

  • Well, I’m Iranian but my parents are both white… because I was adopted. But you actually missed the fact that Ian Malcolm had a daughter with a previous wife (he stated in the first movie he has been married multiple times). She was not the daughter of his girlfriend in 2, and in the book she was just a random kid. They combined her with a little black boy (she was white in the book) and made her the daughter from a failed marriage probably to make the stakes higher for Malcolm. Spielberg wanted to use the actress because he liked her in another movie, and this was an opportunity to do that. So while I hate Lost World, if you are going to bring that up as an argument you can at least get the facts straight.

    You know, none if those assumptions you made about me are true, haha. You even sat there and told me my own personal experiences were wrong! you assumed I was a hippie SJW because I see value in diversity. I never complain that shows need to add more diversity, and I never heckle auhors because I am one myself. You, however, are criticizing the diversity in a movie that has already been made by barking at me for applauding it. I never pushed the studio or signed petitions, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with diversity and I really don’t know why I’ve had to defend my appreciation for it. I think everyone feels you are either a SJW or a racist these days (SJW have called me a racist for not supporting everything under the sun, and I’ve been called a SJW for thinking a racist Chinese laundry commercial was awful). There is a gray area, you know.

    If you are going to tell me I am wrong, when I have experienced these feelings as a child, then I’m not going to sit here and lecture you because you have already made up your mind. That’s your right. But it’s also my right to disagree with you and with Mike’s comment on diversity.

  • bleurgh

    Yeah, exactly.

  • God, no kidding. I thought my comment was fairly tame but apparently my childhood has greatly offended the internet.

  • EJ

    I dunno, even Batman v. Superman was ultimately kinda inconsequential. The SW prequels have kind of a unique combination of advance hype, a beloved original trilogy, huge expectations, considerable ambition, and abject failure. I can sum up what was wrong with BvS in 6 words: Zack Snyder directed a Superman movie.

    Personally I’d love to see Plinkett do Boyhood, just because it was such a critical darling (FWIW I actually thought it was pretty good too) but RLM hated it so goddam much.

  • BaronVonAwesome

    My theory for this somewhat softball Plinkett review:

    JJ was a fan of the original prequel reviews and probably has or will see this review.

    I just think that makes it kind of awkward to be too critical of the film.

    Dont’ get me wrong, still entertaining stuff and I wouldn’t blame them for being a bit, well, …diplomatic this time round. Lot of fragile egos is HW after all.

  • EJ

    Like how they always go easy on movies Max Landis has written because he’s a big RLM fanboy? Oh wait, no, they don’t do that at all.

  • SUPERMAD

    I prefer the good movie, though I have almost zero faith it’ll happen. Lots of the unanswered questions will not – I fear – get satisfactory answers. A big one for me is the existence/mystery/haunted magic behind Anakin’s lightsaber. The whole idea is just stupid.

    I think the more likely case of joy is for Episode 8 to disappoint, and then hopefully Plinkett – the True Plinkett of Ages Past – will RISE once more.

  • Palpatine

    Good point. The Prequels were over-hyped because they were riding on the coattails of the Original Trilogy. But Batman v Superman? Eh, not so much. I remember Man of Steel getting mostly mixed reviews, so I don’t think the hype for Batman v Superman was all that big. Don’t get me wrong, there was hype, but not Prequel level hype.

    Still, over-hyped or not, Batman v Superman is such an epic mess of a film, it really deserves to be reviewed by Plinkett.

  • Quantum

    If you sleep listening to Plinkett, it’s because you’re alone.

    Well, now that the bad joke is out of the way…
    Yup, I do too.
    🙂

  • Quantum

    And here it is, a soft word play about soft word plays.
    Always a pleaure, mate 😉

  • RLMkeepitup

    circlejerk theory confirmed

  • CapedBaldy

    Hows that working out for you?

  • CapedBaldy

    I’m not bristling at anything. I’m not a brush. Just pointing out the obvious. It’s this same bullshitted and parroted line all over the internet but it doesnt hold up to scrutiny. Diversity is a shallow marketing idea to seel shit to guilty white people. So .. I see nothing good that comes from it haha. The cream should rise to the top. The best filmmakers and actors should be seen and that’s that. But we all know it’s not that simple.

  • CapedBaldy

    TFA isn’t the prequels.
    You can’t rip up every movie like the prequels because few movies are that bad in that way.

  • thestoner

    I would rather run down a flight of stairs with a thumb in my ass than watch this review.

  • instant relief

    DUDE WEED LMAO

  • Variant

    dood

  • IRONMANAustralia

    Watch out for the rake at the bottom.

  • …that pun, though. Invalidates everything. Begone with you, unfunny one.

  • Tobias Ketterer

    I think the movie was very good. There’s one thing that bothered me right when I left the theatre though. Those two groups of certain ethnicities who hunt down Han Solo. I can live with the point that all of a sudden in the Star Wars Universe people with similar looks and accents horde together even if they have never done that before, cause why not? But why did they name themselves “Kanjiklub”? So they sound more asian? Do they come from asia? Bothered me quite a bit.
    Good review though. Keep up the good work.

  • Curtis Mitchell

    I don’t disagree with you but I thought the Plinkett reviews for Cop Dog and some of that other trash he watched were great. Maybe not the epics that were the prequel reviews (because there was so much to cover!) but still funny.

  • Joe Syxpac

    In my experience they dry out too much in the oven. I like em moist and chewy.

  • Bubs

    They actually come from the planet Japankru which orbits the binary stars Ching and Ping. They’re notoriously ethnocentric and are incredibly sensitive about their slanty eyes which, even amongst the diverse cultures of the Star Wars galaxy, are seen as “fucking creepy”. See wookiepedia for more.

  • No Name

    I liked that part. Both JJ Abrams and G. Lucas (Risch is the best Lucas there is) were great.

  • Tobias Ketterer

    I looked it up.
    Apparently they used to be slaves of the Hutts and had to work in spaceshoe factories. After Jabbas death they stole half his fleet but lost a lot of them immediately because their slanty eyes kept them from having sufficient driving skills. Knowing the background really calmed me down. Thanks.

  • Variant

    I would agree with that had I not already watched the Half in the Bag breakdown many times, followed by Rich and Jack’s breakdown of it, followed by me actually watching the movie for some reason. I’m a little BvS’d out.

  • RLMkeepitup

    i officially became a dr. today, but I will still return here to learn the ways of the farce

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Superman Returns” was such a joyless let-down that
    “Superman 3” outshone it in too many ways to count, mostly, Pryor.

  • Now I Get It

    While we’re on it, you made one reply that changed my (posting) life, when you commented, kindly, that mine was one of the first avatars you looked for when you search the comments.* That’s when I became permanently aware that some people were paying attention consistently, even if I wasn’t aware of it.

    It paid off later, when I had to decide how, or even whether, to reply to people whose replies to me were less than kind. Thanks for that.
    —–
    * RLM T-Shirts! video (Dec., 2014) – although it got removed as part of that first-ever commenter melee.

  • frankelee

    Come on Mike, it’s been five days, stop milking off the fame of this Plinkett review and make something new.

  • goodmatt10 1

    Aren’t the heads of Disney Jewish mostly, not white?

  • Dan

    What takes you so dang long to make these? I ain’t paying you people for one Plinkett video a year! I want a 2-hour Plinkett reviews at least once a week! And where are the new Best of the Worst? Do you all just sit on your keisters all day? Pump that crap out!

    The Marvel MU has it’s release calendar, well why doesn’t RLM have a calendar? It should go M->HitB, T->BotW, W->ReV, Th->PreRec, F->Mr.P, Sa->FF

    That’s a new Feature Film every Saturday. You losers can have Sunday “off” to sit around doing commentary tracks.

    Quit lazing around and give us your life blood!

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    Does this mean Plinkett’s going all “Marvel Universe” too? A Plinkett review every year (next he’ll be reviewing Rogue One) up to 2021, and spin-offs too (HITB). Plinkett mugs and key-chains… it’s a corporate nightmare!

  • Palpatine

    That’s a very good possibility.

  • SpooktacularTape

    Actually, they’re extra-terrestrial reptiles.

  • goodmatt10 1

    Interesting.

  • EJ

    Well, I’ll take your word for it – I didn’t actually see BvS because the trailer looked beyond stupid and Man of Steel sucked so bad, so my impression of it is primarily based on MoS and my general dislike of Zack Snyder. If it truly was a glorious clusterfuck, then maybe Plinkett could do it justice.

  • goodmatt10 1

    I still say part 7 was not Star Warsish at all. Yeah, sure, you can sit down and watch it strictly as a sci-fi action flick, and it works as a typical action flick of the day, but I predict 10yrs from now people will look back on it and say “Why did I like that so much?”

  • Palpatine

    I’ve seen it and it’s truly a complete mess of a film. Not awful by any means, but still really bad. And I’ve only seen the extended/ultimate/whatever it’s called edition of the film, which is apparently better than the theatrical cut which, again, I haven’t seen.

    But either way, the film is a baffling mess, aside from Ben Affleck as Batman, of course. So yeah, I would love to see Plinkett tear it apart.

  • EJ

    Well I think there’s a whole lot of “ironic” racism nowadays, especially on the internet, that shades pretty heavily into “actual” racism, but then retreats into the “it’s just a joke!” defense when called on it. I don’t think that’s the case with RLM, but I find it hard to blame people for being oversensitive to it.

  • EJ

    Seriously, while that Ring Theory article got a lot of attention, I’m pretty sure 99% of it was just to marvel at how overwrought, pretentious, and wrong-headed it was. Though I guess you could say the same about the prequels and we watched 5+ hours of Plinkett reviews about them.

  • goodmatt10 1

    Just to clarify on the “diversity” thing, it’s not about people don’t want non-whites or women, it’s about the pandering.

    Plenty of female and non-white characters have been cheered by audiences, people are just sick and tired of the pandering and the Mary Sues.

  • Percy Gryce

    I don’t think anyone–even Mr. Plinkett–has mentioned the most critical point about the Star Wars Ring theory. Even if the original trilogy and the prequels are part of an intentional chiasmic structure, that still doesn’t make the prequels good films. In fact, Lucas’s attempt to employ chiasmus may in fact have contributed to the terribleness of the prequels by forcing him down narrative and visual paths that did not contribute to coherent or compelling stories.

  • Percy Gryce

    i officially became a dr. today

    You mean the way Mr. Plinkett is a doctor? Or a real sawbones? Or maybe of chiropractic? Or homeopathy? Surely not a philosophiae doctor?

  • RLMkeepitup

    doctor of philosophy indeed. But I’d still trust Plinkett with my life

  • EJ

    Well, having black people and strong women in Star Wars is fine – even Lucas figured that out. But, as everyone in Hollywood knows, there are three kinds of Asians – sexpots, nerds, and gangsters.

  • amplifact

    10 years from now the amount of Disney(R) Star Wars Cinematic Universe movies will vastly outnumber the existing ones, so even though I think this movie feels like watching a bunch of “modern” actors playing star wars dress-ups and pretending to be part of its story, soon enough that’s gonna be the new normal.
    It’s gonna be great.

  • amplifact

    He shat pretty hard on Star Trek Into Darkness though.

  • goodmatt10 1

    All this stuff will just get nuts IMHO.

  • Now I Get It

    Exactly. It would prove only that he made that shit he made on purpose. Planning to fail. Well snotted, Bruce.

  • Jerome Gorden

    The ironic thing is that Leia was a much stronger female character than Rey, because they let Carrie Fisher act like an ordinary woman. Han Solo was so much more interesting than Finn, because they let Harrison Ford act like a typical man. They weren’t trying to prove anything in A New Hope. They were just focused on making a good movie.

  • Thanatos

    Seriously. I don’t even understand the central point of the ring theory. Ok, pretend Lucas did structure it that way, and spent so much time meticulously making things follow this mysterious structure – SO WHAT? How does such a structure inherently improve the story or characters just because it’s like poetry and rhymes?

  • Thanatos

    Rich Evans Plinkett will fight Mike Plinkett in the upcoming Plinkett: Civil War.

  • Thanatos

    Yeah they went real easy on JJ, spewing feces all over him. If anything, George Lucas is the one who got off easy this time.

  • SpooktacularTape

    Bad films badly implemented into a structure, which, if it was attempted, would have been an ad-hoc addition since we know how much shit on the fly Lucas does. We know that the “Opera” scene with Anakin and Palpatine was co-written by Tom Stoppard. If he’s Lucas’s pal, maybe they drunkenly talked about overarching narrative structures back in 1999 and George thought it’s cool, focusing on it for about 5 minutes when churning the scripts out.

  • Thanatos

    The audio commentary tracks are MUCH better at it.

    “You’ve made the right decision. You’ve chosen to listen to my droning monotone voice for 136 minutes”

    Yes I have.

  • Thanatos

    Idiots are seriously writing articles about how “genius” the ring theory retardation was. The 108 page rebuttal got laughed at by everyone as it deserves to be.

  • the_great_laertes

    The point about poetry is critical. “Chiasmus” is really not anything more than an expansion of the style of poetry in ancient Semitic languages whereby the same or similar concept is repeated two or three times consecutively in different words. Some poetry rhymes, some alliterates (Old English), some is based on meter (Greek epics), some on an enumeration of syllables (haiku)– and some are based on repetition:

    “Let them give thanks unto Yahweh for his mercy
    / And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
    For He hath broken the gates of brass
    / And cut the bars of iron in sunder.”
    – Psalm 107 (Hebrew)

    “Now Baal will provide his enriching rain,
    / provide a rich watering in a downpour;
    And he will sound his voice in the clouds,
    / flash his lightning to the earth.”
    – Baal Epic (Ugaritic)

    So saying that something is good because it obeys chiastic structure is like saying a poem is good just because it rhymes.

  • SpooktacularTape

    I personally think it would be pretty great, because they definitely had more chemistry than with Rey. But I also don’t think it will happen, since having two male prothagonists smooching, is too horrific to show, even for a pandering studio exec decision.

    Sooner people on both sides stop flinging cheap memetic bullshit at each other, than we can have diverse movies that won’t knock you over the head with trying to be diverse.

  • Generalzod

    Why didn’t Leia use the force to locate her brother Luke?

  • Variant

    I’m just curious though – could you see a gay couple being introduced to a wide-release movie casually without it being considered pandering? Because there’s gotta be room for that somewhere for it to exist without being there specifically to be politically correct.

  • fred

    shhh

  • Nameaux-Mundanér

    “I would rather they keep things simple using a real set, than making something really alien that requires a shitload of CGI.”

    So in other words cut the anti-CGI fetish and alien planets are good to go 😀

    Well the response is that SW wasn’t generally designed to be full of “alien worlds” – but hey, Dagobah, and some in 1-3 so sure.

  • Imesseduptheemail

    Rey was just the worst. She didn’t feel like she had much personality, very few of her own motivations or flaws, she was just generic protagonistgirl who is at least decent at everything she tries to do, which is where the Mary Sue accusations come from.

  • Variant

    it only works sometimes

  • Sandoz

    Just too lazy to write new ideas. James Cameron did the same thing with T2 but it worked a lot better, that time.
    When Gary Kurtz left SW he took the mojo with him.
    Lucas was left naked and alone with his little ding-dong trembling in the wind.
    Such a sad thing with Lucas.
    THX-1138 was an awesome film, American Graffitti started the 50’s craze in the 70’s and then he started the Star Wars craze.
    Only Spielberg could best him but that was by a narrow margin and it was awesome that they teamed up for Raiders of the Lost Ark.
    The rest is shit.

  • Sandoz

    I love your Chutzpah!!!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    So when is gay romance not pandering?

    Like, if the response to having gay romance on screen is always “They’re pandering bandwagoners,” then when is it ok to have gay romance in film?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    You can end the explanation of ring theory with “See!? Don’t you get it? It’s GENIUS!”

    And I’m over here like… nah?

  • Malevolence

    Why are you walking that way Kali? And why do you suspiciously smell of carrots and feces?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    And how exactly does a 40+ year old freighter keep flying and fighting monsters after all its been through? Is the Millennium Falcon like, the VW Beetle of space and there’s parts available in every system, even frozen ones with fucking monsters on them?

  • Mugato

    You could say that Finn’s cock…

    *sunglasses*

    …is Rey shielded.

    YEEAAAAHHHH!

  • Mugato

    Well I think “fail” is a strong word. The prequels made shitton of money and if people hated them as much as the internet claims, no one would have seen them to the end or watched TFA.

  • RLMkeepitup

    —–> plot hole

  • Thanatos

    I mean, let’s pretend that 40 years of sitting in a sand heap rusting didn’t open up a SINGLE breach in the hull. Perfectly ok to fly into space I’d say!

  • Thanatos

    She sucks at using the force. No training by Yoda = maybe you get a visit by Obi Wan’s ghost, or some disembodied voices encouraging you, but that’s it.

  • troof

    because jack.

  • Variant

    No no, that’s the nature of The Force. To fill holes where plot should be. That’s the one consistent thing in this universe.

  • Variant

    I was going to ask the same thing. I’m sure we can mostly agree that some degree of pandering goes on in terms of diversity when it comes to big budget films – but that doesn’t mean EVERY time there’s diversity that it’s pandering. We don’t have a problem with Rey BEING a female lead, we’re just bored by a gender-inverted Luke doing what we’d expect a gender-inverted Luke to do. And in the same way that we should focus more on the talent and chemistry of actors/actresses when casting films, perhaps it should be the exact same way when casting characters in a relationship? Like it should be based more on the potential romantic chemistry of two leads rather than the first thing being written having to be “a gay couple” or “a straight couple”. Like if we DON’T think of that first, then we’re basically casting movies like they should be. Unless being straight or gay is actually part of the plot, which I highly doubt is very relevant in a galaxy far far away where there are probably some species with five genders for all we know. Try it, Hollywood! If you really want to be completely unbiased and politically correct – try writing a character without choosing the gender or sexual orientation first. And then let it just come together organically!

  • RLMkeepitup

    the only sense of wonder I get from the new movies is what they were thinking. the line between paying homage and ripping off starts to blur #forcedvisions

  • goodmatt10 1

    Never in a Star Wars film that’s for sure, can’t believe anyone actually thinks that’s something that needs to be in SW, why? For what reason? It would add absolutely nothing, it would just be for all the SJW’s to say – there’s a gay romance, which is….pandering.

  • goodmatt10 1

    Why would it be great? Seriously, explain to me what would be great about it? Other than just doing it for the sake of it, what would it add to the film? I guarantee the majority of the audience would be far more interested in seeing them be great friends like Luke and Han were.

    I cannot wait until this idiot SJW era of Hollywood is over, the old days of black face and white guys playing Mongols and Indians was equally stupid, why do we always have to go from one stupid extreme to other?

    Just make a good movie, cast the best people, who gives a shit about “diversity” other than a small group of losers with nothing more to do than complain about silly 1st world problems.

  • SpooktacularTape

    You getting upset over a notion that someting like that might happen is telling. I’ve already told you why I think it would be great, it’s about the characters and the combined charisma of the actors. Diversity can also mean diversity in storytelling and character development. It IS important to not have have it just for the sake of it, but it’s as dumb to be locked into “traditional” ways just because they used to work in other works.

  • EJ

    Do you have any idea how much kinetic energy there is in something the size of the Millenium Falcon traveling at close to the light speed? When they hit the atmosphere on Starkiller Base there should have been a massive nuclear explosion.

  • goodmatt10 1

    ????? OK, that is your opinion, and we are all entitled to our opinion, but you still are not giving any solid reason for it.

    I don’t think the majority of males who love Star Wars will agree with you that a gay relationship would be better than a “traditional” strong friendship.

    What is exactly is so “telling” about what I said?

  • SpooktacularTape

    That’s what I said originally “Personally I think”. I don’t give a crap about what most male Star Wars fans want. Let’s end the debate here.

  • goodmatt10 1

    Fair enough.

  • Cat Stevens

    Directors of tent pole movies nowadays are more like event planners than artists. Sellout hack frauds.

  • Cat Stevens

    TFA was worse. Better to be creatively mediocre than competently empty.

  • junkevil

    Judging by the amount of time it takes to release a Plinkett review, they’d never be able to keep up. It would probably lead to other stuff not coming out as often or at all. Sounds shit.

  • Thanatos

    You could hand wave it away by making up rules about how hyperspace works. Blah blah not actually travelling that fast blah blah moving the universe instead blah blah subspace has different rules of physics

  • gregCall

    Thank you for the new Plinkett review.
    When I first saw this film I expected to hate it but was surprised somewhat. I really hate “diversity” for the sake of “diversity” but the character of Finn was
    well done and John Boyega did a very good job in the part. I guess when
    JJ Abrams announced he was casting not whites as a virtue signaling
    statement I expected him to go full Paul Feig full of incompetent acting
    and ham fisted social statements and was pleasantly surprised. I did
    find the character of Rey wholly unlikable and I’m not sure if it was
    because of the writing of the Character or the actress just having no
    screen presence or charisma. I will also say that even though I didn’t
    find this film anywhere near as bad as I expected it to be it did give
    me a new appreciation for George Lucas and his prequels.
    I generally judge a movie by how re watchable it is and have to say that JJ Abrams
    is insanely over rated as is evidenced by the fact that he made the only
    Star Wars movie, including the prequels, that was definitely not worth a
    second viewing.

  • They don’t build them like they used to.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Ohh ok.

  • Now I Get It

    By that measure you’re right, and “planning to fail” is just me being glib. But when Lucas sits down to write, I’m sure he’s aware of what he doesn’t do well, especially compared to other filmmakers of his revolutionary generation. Yet, there, he went ahead anyway.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    I am going to frame your reply and hang it on my wall.

    I shall title it “Oblivious”.

  • James Shiels

    that was not very good, not on par with the star wars prequel reviews. but as princess liea said, “it had its moments” I am 47 year’s old, 8 when A new hope came out, it was 1977, 70mm Dolbey Stereo, London, a big deal then….but now??? FINALLY NO MORE STAR WARS MOVIES FOR ME! I have had enough!

  • You have a very sad life.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Since I met you … yes. Go back to your satisfying life of counting the number of Asians in your favorite TV show.

  • J.E.

    You forgot to add a “trigger warning” to your post. You may have offended someone who is now forced to retreat to a safe space.

  • J.E.

    Could the OP possibly have known how apropos this comment is, given the end of the review?

  • J.E.

    A BVS movie may have been more hyped and notable if it had come out before the modern era of superhero flicks being released 4-5 times a year. If it had come out in, say, 2000 or 2001, it would’ve been a big deal.

  • Palpatine

    There’s a screenplay that was written around 2002 that was supposed to be made into a film around that time, but it was cancelled.

  • Nina

    At the risk of starting an argument, can you clarify what you mean by “diversity for the sake of diversity”? Sounds as though you assume that characters are white by default, and that non-white characters are just tokens to pander to non-white audiences. Why can’t you have a likeable character who just happens to be non-white? Why does their race need to be the first thing that comes to mind when talking about them? Why can’t SW (and other media) be diverse because it reflects a good chunk of modern western society, and not because it’s “trying” to be “PC”? I don’t mean to sound confrontational, but I’m just genuinely curious as to why multicultural casts don’t sit right with you.

  • Nina

    Yeah, I can understand why the retread of and throwbacks to the OT could be bothersome to some people, but there was so much riding on Abrams and his handling of this film. Disney buying SW was a massive deal, and after the prequels, audiences were praying that Abrams would not screw this up. I think that TFA was his way of getting skeptical fans reacquainted with the SW they know and love first. Fans wanted something familiar and fun and comforting, especially after Episodes 1-3. I think that had Abrams veered too far away from the structure of the OT, fans would have complained that TFA was too different. So he kept the same basic formula just to reassure us that he knows why we fell in love with the OT in the first place. And now that he’s won over the general SW fandom, he’s free to take more chances and experiment with the universe in the future.

  • Jim

    You won’t be laughing when Finn gets his bionic implants and replacement organ…s.

  • Jaws 13 – This One Bites

    Captain Phasma… lol

  • gregCall

    As I said John Boyega did a great job and was perfect for the role.
    “Diversity for the sake of Diversity” is hiring members of certain groups because of what they are rather than their ability.
    When JJ Abrams made a big show for virtue signaling points that he was casting non whites simply because he felt Star wars was too white I expected a complete train wreck. Race is actually not the issue here as pretty much the only new character I found good was Finn.
    You ask “Why can’t SW (and other media) be diverse because it reflects a good chunk of modern western society, and not because it’s “trying” to be
    “PC”?”. The answer is it can, but Abrams statement made many anticipate that quality was not his main concern in casting. I never heard of John Boyega before this film and his was the best character in it, certainly much better than Samuel L Jackson in the prequels, and I generally like him in anything he’s in.

    I don’t know why I typed all this since I covered all this in my original post which you must not have actually read. I don’t oppose diverse casts but want quality casting not affirmative action casting where merit and acting ability doesn’t matter.
    The only character I said I disliked was Rey and that wasn’t because it was played by a woman but because I found the actress inherently unlikable and the character without depth.I don’t mean to trigger you by pointing that out but race was never an issue I brought up and neither was sex but why you would feel I had a problem with race when the only actor I complimented was black is beyond my comprehension.

  • Nina

    I apologize for misunderstanding your original post.

  • curvycom

    yah, well, obviously I still had tractors on the brain there… or… I might’ve just been sassin’ all y’all in Eskimo talk.

  • Malevolence

    Why don’t they make Finn and Rey romantically involved? Would you make Qui Gon and Jar Jar romantically involved? Kind of what you’re getting seeing how he’s a Tracy Morgan awkward comedy surrogate

  • Malevolence

    If it was any other review they’d tear into the fact that this was reboot with completely unoriginal concepts. Funny how ppl say “But it’s a soft reboot” like that makes it any better…

  • Brian Levine

    So you think he couldn’t have done that without making the same exact movie? I’m surprised he didn’t call it “A Newer Hope”.

    Oh, and zero scenes with Luke, Han and Leia together is pretty much brain dead.

    On the plus side, I think he go the new characters right. And Star Wars is fun again. But I think we can pretty mcuh declare that JJ is just an unimaginative, hack movie maker.

  • Brian Levine

    Why, yes. Yes, I would make Qui-Gon and Jar Jar romantically involved.

    “Yousa bein dead now? Meesa gonna missin you, okee-day?”

  • Brian Levine

    Her midichlorian level went down after she stopped taking her injections.

  • Nina

    I’m going to withhold judgment until at least Episode 8 comes out to see in what direction the characters go before I decide how unimaginative his take on SW is. I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, because to take on SW is such a huge responsibility. ANH and ESB are widely regarded as among the greatest films ever, of any genre. The franchise’s fanbase is fiercely devoted to the films, so I think that there was an element of “playing it safe” with this first film.

    I really like the new core trio, as well. They’ve got elements of Luke/Leia/Han, but at the same time their ambiguous pasts leave enough wiggle room for Abrams to develop them into completely different characters.

  • Nina

    Well, TFA is leaps and bounds ahead of the prequels in terms of quality. Reviewers generally have way more fun with reviews of bad films.

  • Nina

    She’s currently the Boba Fett of the new trilogy: hyped up and given some cool armour, but ultimately a minor character in the story. Though Gwendolyn Christie said that she’s signed on to the next film, so it seems as though Phasma escaped the garbage chute.

  • Brian Levine

    I do like the new characters. Obviously, this whole thing would’ve been very different had their been a 20 year gap between the trilogies instead of a 38 year gap. The first two Star Trek reboots don’t give me much hope for JJ suddenly coming up with with a creative original story. But we’ll see.

  • Jaws 2016 – The Rebootquel

    She chose the funniest name in the Galaxy

  • Nina

    Exactly! People dump on diversity in films and TV because they insist it’s “pandering” to minority audiences. If you’re making a WWII film set in Nazi Germany, sure, I can understand how a cast of multiracial characters would be viewed as “pandering”. But if you’ve already accepted the existence of lightsabers in SW, and planets populated by thousands of different-looking aliens and caucasian humans, I don’t think that the inclusion of a handful of non-white or gay humans is so hard to fathom.

  • Nina

    Unfortunately, Hollywood keeps making films about non-white characters that are first and foremost ABOUT race. Not that these films shouldn’t exist, provided they’re well made, but how many big budget, well-received films can you think of with black leads and/or mostly black casts which aren’t specifically tied to narratives about race or racial oppression? “12 Years a Slave”, “Precious”, “Selma”, “Beasts of the Southern Wild”, and now “Birth of a Nation”, the list goes on. But those films depict blackness in such specific, similar ways, so it’s hard for “mainstream” (i.e. white) audiences to conceive of non-white characters whose sole defining characteristic isn’t the colour of their skin.

  • Malevolence

    That was pretty good

  • Nina

    Right? Non-white characters in films! Can you imagine how silly that would be? Crazy!

  • goodmatt10 1

    Nice straw man, got anything that addresses what I actually said?

  • Mark Bisone

    I finally watched it, and found I agree wholeheartedly with many elements of the critique. I’ve been saying for many years now that I think the “Star Wars” franchise should invest more of its creative capital in hardcore, interracial pornography.

    Speaking of pornography, I visited the Library of the General Society of Mechanics and Tradesmen of the City of New York yesterday. I have two words for you: umbrella locker. You’re welcome.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    “Red Dawn” definitely holds up. But it’s a masculine movie and masculinity is dead. So you can’t relate to it.

    That’s actually why it can’t be remade, despite still being an amazing story: you can’t make a masculine movie with Taylor Kitsch or Andrew Garfield.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    When it’s a natural part of a story. For example, it is not pandering in “Torch Song Trilogy”.

    There’s also an element of false commonality at stake. Gay people are less than 3% of the population (and people with body dysmorphic disorder … I mean ‘trans’ people are even less common than that). Yet they are constantly crammed into stories to try to make them more common in your life, and thus make them ‘normal’.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    So a Finn/Poe romance wouldn’t be a natural part of the story?

    They appeared to have at least as much or more chemistry than anyone else in the film.

    I don’t really care either way. Just calling ’em like I sees ’em.

    A guy responded to me and said that gay romance could never have a place in Star Wars. I think my comment was meant mostly for people like that. Because I really don’t see why that has to be true at all.

  • Jerome Gorden

    “Abrams statement made many anticipate that quality was not his main concern in casting.”

    Well done.

    “The only character I said I disliked was Rey and that wasn’t because it was played by a woman but because I found the actress inherently unlikable and the character without depth.”

    Excellent.

    You’ve been promoted to Admiral.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Is Star Wars about gay characters? Are gay characters common enough to naturally appear in a random story?

    More importantly, what percentage of the population do you think this pandering would please? Stories are meant to relate, and normal people simply cannot easily relate to abnormal romance. You can roll your eyes and chuff at that all you want, but it’s true. People have to be indoctrinated to not flinch or find it repulsive, which makes it a detriment to story telling (unless the story is about the relationship, which just makes it something most people will never go see, like Brokeback).

    The best analogy I can give you is hardcore porn. You can argue that hardcore porn should be in movies, because it’s just people fucking, and that shows a deep connection – basically all the BS arguments you’d come up with for wanting two dudes to french kiss in the middle of a space opera. But it’s still porn, and most people don’t want it in the middle of their story.

    But hey, if that floats your boat, have at it. Write a slash fic. Maybe you can make it a “Netflix original.”

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    So the only acceptable inclusion of gay romance in film is if the film is specifically about gay romance?

    “Is Star Wars about gay characters?” I mean, it can be? Again, I’m just making an inference based on what I saw in the film; two male characters having more chemistry than anyone else.

    I also don’t quite see why it’s automatically pandering, or why pleasing percentages of the population has to be a major concern. Yes, stories are meant to relate. Agreed. I’m not naive to the physical differences between gay romance and heterosexual romance, but I would think most mainstays and fixtures of romance apply; attraction, connection between two personalities, romantic chemistry, compatibility, etc. I think romance in a general sense can be perfectly relatable to anyone, no matter who it’s between.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You asked me my opinion, right? And I gave it to you. You aren’t going to argue me out of my opinion any more than I’m going to argue you out of yours.

    And the same indicators would apply to bestiality or pedophilia. That’s why I find the constant mislabeling of ‘gay marriage’ as ‘equal marriage’ so tiresome: all ‘lovers’ who are not heterosexual single-pairings of legal age can complain they’re not accepted, list the reasons their romance is just the same as normal romance, and whine about how things aren’t ‘equal’.

    There is a natural revulsion against homosexuality, because the act of sex in humans is by its very nature heterosexual. You can train that out of people (I don’t know why you’d want to, but you can); but you cannot ignore the very real impact that flaunting natural reactions can have on things like storytelling. Just like you can kill the dog, or show the gun and not use it, or any number of other violations … but it’s a risk, and a risk with no reward. In a non-gay story, what benefit is there in having two characters be gay … other than pandering?

    So unless you’re the Coen Brothers, David Lynch, Paul Thomas Anderson, Stanley Kubrick, Alfred Hitchcock, Lars von Trier, David Cronenberg, Gus Van Sant, Quentin Tarantino, John Waters, Wes Anderson, Sam Peckinpah, Terry Gilliam, Martin Scorsese, Werner Herzog, or Jim Jarmusch, you really shouldn’t stray away too far from the formula.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I wasn’t trying to argue you out of your opinion or make you see the light or something. Was just responding to your response.

  • grumpy_otter

    “People have to be indoctrinated to not flinch or find it repulsive,”

    Speak for yourself.

  • grumpy_otter

    I enjoyed this film; it was fun. But when Mr. Plinkett started talking about what SHOULD have happened in it, my heart started to yearn. That would have been a GREAT film. But I feel fairly sure JJ has seen Mr. Plinkett’s reviews–while watching the film, I thought, “I have no doubt who the protagonist is! And it is clear who the bad guys are! And the evil is clear! And there’s no sand discussion.”

    But, as Mr. Plinkett said, really no heart in the film. Still, it was nice to see our old friends again, and it wasn’t butchered too much, so I feel okay about it.

  • Izzy Lichi

    Now that’s what i call the force awakens <3

  • Frank Lovejoy

    … and roughly 97% of the population.

  • Nick DeStefano

    There was a shit load of men crying in that there masculine movie.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    They had something in their eye!

  • Omega

    it’s natural to want more of the stuff you like. Problem is you miss other good things. Not necessary better but new things. Big problem in video games aswell and I think every game developer who just gives the fans what they want didn’t understand his job.

  • Omega

    probably feared the possible feedback backing up their arguments with this theory. What I don’t understand. Since when does redletter cares about the mindless fan boys? Or why should they?

  • Gift Card

    Bravo, Mr. Plinkett, best review yet. This was well worth the wait.

    I hadn’t heard the theory of Rey being the reincarnation of Anakin, I hope that’s how it goes down. Much more interesting then her just being someone’s daughter.

  • fred

    And that is exactly why The Force Awakens bored the shit out of me. It was all the exact same shit. Hundreds of millions of dollars spent on this film — and it’s a regurgitated story from a New Hope. Oh, but that’s okay because there was lots of fan service.

  • fred

    Because fanboys are the fucking worst, and there are tons of starwars fanboys. Imbeciles obsessing over pointless details who understand little to nothing about the films they claim to love.

  • Jaws

    Captain Phasma… lol

  • Sheriff Mitchell’s opinion is better than your opinion Frank Lovejoy.
    And that is my opinion.

  • Dave Reidy

    How about a review of the 11.22.63 miniseries (Hulu)?

  • well, now I start to wait for review of rogue1, which is EVEN more predictable! Predictable movies are usually weaker/worse than something which comes with new, fresh ideas.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He died. Thanks, global warming.

  • Summer of Nass

    Leia was coked up man.

  • Daniel Burke

    It was a shit film. But it got away with it through the nostalgia of silly people.

  • Daniel Burke

    OK enough with Ring Theory… I knew it was shit after 1 minute. We didn’t need a lecture on why it’s ridiculous.

  • Daniel Burke

    Must kill you that Trump is in charge, You’re on your way out. All over Europe too. We’re all sick to death of the Left.

  • Yonagonaf

    At timeframe 7:48 the left poster has the katakana “ターミネーター”.

    Katakana is one of the Japanese alphabets.

    China and Japan are separate countries.

  • Chugs 1984

    beautiful

  • Gentle Robot

    bestiality and pedophilia are both rape

  • Gentle Robot

    it was funny in the beginning but really wasnt much of a star wars 7 review

    the movie was a two hour chase sequence and it ended in the same place it began – with the thing you actually wanted to see. it burnt down exposition because, well, the first star wars didn’t have any, and everyone hated all the excess of boring political talk in the prequels.

    so despite being a sequel, i have no idea what the hell the first order or a kylo or a snoke or anyone is or why there are a trillion stormtroopers. why the hell did luke skywalker’s absence lead to a reversal in power that allowed someone to build a friggin death star? the whole rebellion and its armies of soldiers just fell sideways because one guy left? why would someone build a death star again? why doesn’t anyone in star wars have email? everything is communicated by shipping droids across the galaxy

  • Frank Lovejoy

    They are not rape. Rape is a separate crime. And tomorrow, bestiality and pedophilia could be legal. There’s nothing stopping that.

    I remember when ‘gay rights’ were the big thing (back when it was considered edgy to be for civil unions for homos) and we would say “yeah but next is gonna be trannies”. And how you laughed! You crazy right-winger, it will never be about trannies!

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Great. Now he has two fans. Send me a wedding invite.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    How about the idea that fantastical worlds are supposed to be fantastical, not mirror replicas of our current society with some whiz-bang toys thrown in?

    Mimicking our exact political and social environment is not just harmful to a story’s longevity, it is often harmful to the narrative.

  • Gentle Robot

    They’re rape. You can’t get to be this old and not understand consent.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Is manslaughter murder? Both involve the taking of a life.

    And nice dodge, not replying to the rest of the argument. Nothing to say?

  • Gentle Robot

    Grow up and join the world.

  • Gentle Robot

    you forgot Bespin, the Fart Planet

  • Right, over by the outer rim.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    “I stopped reading when” … you realized you’d lost the argument. Now slink away.

  • Gentle Robot

    stop being a bigot

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You’re hilarious! Learn to argue, or change your position.

  • Gentle Robot

    Learn what consent is. You’re being obtuse, not arguing. Dancing around some pretend definition of rape so you can vilify people you think are “gross” is pathetic. Telling yourself lies and calling it logic is not helping anyone. It will only isolate you more and more until the world leaves you behind.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    The only person dancing is you. You dismissed various forms of sexual perversion with “pssh. They’re all rape!” That is a vast oversimplification, and when called on it you prevaricated.

    I then pointed out that the same lefties saying “pssh, pedophilia will never be the next cause!” said trannies wouldn’t be the big thing after homos. And look how that turned out. You just ignored it.

    You want to pretend normalizing perversion isn’t what it is. That’s your cross to bear.

  • Gentle Robot

    You’re only fooling yourself. You can’t put airs on bigotry.

  • Lute Hende

    Brits/americans always gets the “public” nazis wrong. Hitler and Goebbels were much more subtle in their speeches. Even in his famous “Total War” speech Goebbels didn’t go out like Hux in FA. Actor Robert Carlye made the same mistake and did the “mad man Hitler”. Maybe it’s the german language that seems to sound a bit rough for english ears that leads to this way off the road impressions. Or still the afterglow of the WW2 propaganda. Making emotional speeches to soldiers is questionable, too. Pretty useless if they already swore an oath to you…

  • Lute Hende

    well, they made him that way. If he would actually behave like a human beeing everything could be possible but we are now on Disney territory where we have to read between the lines to discover the pornorgraphy…

  • Frank Lovejoy

    An irrelevant non-sequitur, but to the point: you can’t hide your stupidity.

  • Gentle Robot

    my name is frank and i love rape

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Then keep voting Democrat, Frank! They’re the rape masters!

  • ikdks

    Ralph the moviemaker said he didn’t get Kylo Ren’s motivation for turning to the darkside, but that’s because he’s a kid.

    We could have predicted his motivation back in 1976. It’s the same motivation for every kid that ever wore an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Turns out Han Solo was a shitty dad.

    You could just imagine it, missing birthdays and Lifedays because he’s running hallucinogenic tube grubs to religious fundamentalists. Always one get rich quick scheme after another. Leah go’s to the space gynecologist and finds out she has space clap.

    Kylo makes perfect sense.

  • Danny Garcia

    Wait a minute! How can Harry’s son have crashed into a Taco Bell? In The Phantom Menace review Harry said he committed suicide…..WTF!!!!

  • Suicide by Taco Bell is not unheard of.

  • Is Finn going to get his spine fixed at the Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center?

    But in all seriousness, I thought he had a pretty obvious coward –> courageous character arc. I like that they mixed it up a little by having his initial cowardice stem not merely from fear, but from a combination of that and a moral objection to his job, such that there was some courage even in his cowardice. Sometimes people do heroic things not entirely on purpose, but rather in part because that’s just the inevitability to which their actions lead them.

    I’m pretty sure his purpose in the story is to be an alternate protagonist for anyone who might find Rey insufficiently flawed to identify with.

  • Kylo basically said as much out loud during the Rey interrogation scene.

  • I think it’s pretty clear the reason they built another death star, but bigger is “because J. J. Abrams thinks bigger = more eviler.”

    The man has no understanding at all of how you can raise dramatic stakes without necessarily making the threat PHYSICALLY LARGER.

    Vader himself said in the very first movie that a death star is nothing compared to the power of the Force. I guess we’ll have to wait for some screenwriter or director to realize they can do something with that in a future sequel.

    Maybe in Episode IX, Kylo Ren will kill Chewbacca by hurling an entire planet at him.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Support the Plinkett Patreon for Pizza Rolls!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    PHASMA: Not fighting? Are you a pacifist?
    FIN: No, ma’am, I’m a coward.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    At least Kylo Ren was there was Han Solo won his Major Award.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    There goes Mr. Plinkett’s chances to be Secretary of State.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    So … like … how every presidential cycle works?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I would like to hear Mr. Plinkett’s critique of “Dexter.”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Was it about baseball?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    —-> plot Goatse

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I get all my Prequel analysis from Mr. Plinkett and Slavoj Zizek.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Lightsaber Song Trilogy,” by Harvey Fierstein.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    What about cannibalism? How does that fit along the spectrum? It also seems like an acquired taste.

  • Daniel Burke

    No. Not at all. Trump is a breath of fresh air to the politically correct usual shit.

  • Robert Robertson

    Plinkett is back!!!! Thanks guys, you are geniuses! I`m following you since 2009 and can`t tell you, how many happy hours you brought to me as a devout Trekkie, but also with everything else you produced. Thanks for everything!!!

    Greetings from Munich, Germany

  • I’ve made 104,000 bucks in last twelve months by working online from home a­­n­­d I manage to do it by wor­king part-time for 3 or sometimes more hrs /day. I followed an earning opportunity I stumbled upon from this website i found online and I am so thrilled that i made so much extra income. It’s very user-friendly and I am just so happy that i found this. This is what i did… STATICTAB.COM/msxjhtx

  • Arobin08

    Man, I love you guys but this was awful. You loved this movie and were unwilling to criticize anything about it and just talked about the prequels for more than half the review. You should have waited for the trilogy to be done so there would be more things to talk about with this review.

  • Arobin08

    Come on, how is it not obvious that Rey was written to be the best at everything because Disney was trying to make a perfect role model for little girls?

  • Arobin08

    Rey embodies Luke, Han, and Leia, as well as C3PO, R2, and Obi Wan from the first movie. She’s the jedi in training, the owner and pilot of the Millennium Flacon, the mechanic, the girl all the guy characters instantly fall in love, the translator, the hacker, and the main fighter/ass-kicker. Finn’s just kinda there to be the butt of jokes and help out a bit if Rey needs an extra set of hands. Unless she needs him to do something too hard for him, like hand her a tool while she uses her skills to actually do things. Who’s the third part of the trio? Poe? He had to die off so that Rey would fly the millennium falcon off Jakku instead of him and then he comes back with no explanation, never meets Rey, and then disappears again after the battle. Poe was barely in the movie.

    There wasn’t really a new core trio in this one. There was Rey and her mostly inept comedic relief sidekick Finn and then a cameo from Poe.

  • Nina

    Yeah, Luke/Han/Leia were very much established as a trio by the end of ANH, whereas with the new cast, it’s been very much Rey/Finn, with Poe doing his stuff separately. I still refer to them as a trio though, since they’re undoubtedly the three central protagonists of the new films.

  • Brian Matson

    I get that sometimes the diversity thing can seem forced, like for instance on some Disney sitcom with the generic balance of ethnicities, yet nothing to indicate actually cultural variations, for instance. Although the problem of shitty writing would stand whether that was an additional factor or not, so if I were to call that out as the main objection, it would indicate a certain bias judging the aesthetic first, and quality second. Also such shows generally have shitty acting and/or direction, so again, that’s the first problem.

    Ostensibly we agree then but what I don’t get is where you get the preconception that diversity casting is frequently done with disregard to quality by people with talent for casting?? It should go without saying with JJA’s track record he would get excellent qualified actors no matter what ethnicities were targeted; especially with projects like Star Trek, and * Lost* one of the largest, most diverse and perfectly chosen casts in TV history.

    Conversely, can you name a single director or franchise etc where forced diversity goes hand in hand with less qualified actors? Otherwise it still indicates a bit of a chip on your shoulder to me. I say this btw as one who has held a similar view with a similar chip in the past, before seeing it from a different pov.

  • andychrist

    come on how is it not obvious that james bond was written to be the best at everything because broccoli was trying to make a perfect role model for little boys

  • Arobin08

    Broccoli didn’t write Bond. Bond also isn’t also part of an ensemble of heroes that he outshines constantly. And are you talking about movies from decades ago?Because Bond today in the current series is actually portrayed as flawed and vulnerable.

  • Arobin08

    But Finn was too goofy and incompetent to be a comparable protagonist with Rey.

  • houseofwilliams

    Ring theory… it’s amazing how some people will dedicate more thought into polishing off something stupid than the creator’s put into making it. You can polish a turd, but all you have is a shiny turd!

  • Urdus

    I don’t buy it to be honest. Half the time you were talking about something completly unrelated (ring theory) to FA and in the actual review you were very forgiving.

  • Really? I’ve always thought Star Wars had the worst names. I’m just pulling it out of my ass but I wouldn’t put it past George Lucas to have something in the universe named “Ooba Dooba”. Everything in Star Wars sounds like the unimaginative American’s idea of what is “alien” to us.

  • Threatactor

    12:58……….the script 2 months before shooting.WTF?

  • Reina

    Yeah, to be completely blunt, it’s easy to say “little kids don’t care about diversity” or “diversity doesn’t matter” when you’re a Gen X white guy from Arizona/Milwaukee and it’s never been an issue for you.

    Speaking as an Asian, yes it’s definitely something I noticed growing up. It was exciting just to see token inclusion, like the Asian co pilot in ROTJ, or the girl in Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have fun” video. Jonathan Ke Quan as Data in the Goonies was awesome.

    There was the ugly side of Asian inclusion, basically every character Gedde Watanabe played in the 80’s. I can’t even watch Sixteen Candles, despite loving most of the Brat pack films. UHF is watchable, but his shtick is only tolerable because its much more good-natured and in keeping with the goofiness of everyone else.

  • Reina

    In an ideal world, that would be the case. Unfortunately, not only human nature but also the socio-economic relations in the United States means that people are often treated differently on the basis of their ethnicity or race from a very young age, and people thus identify along this basis.

    Frankly, and I mean no disrespect to Mike, but it’s easy to say “representation doesn’t matter” when you’re a middle aged white guy from Arizona/Milwauke and it’s never really been an issue for you. But say if you’re an Asian (like me) and it’s rare to see people that look like you in the media in non-stereotyped roles, you might feel differently. I remember reading an interview with Whoopi Goldberg where she talked about the first time she saw a black woman on TV who wasn’t playing a maid. She said it was incredibly revelatory and influential to her.

  • Reina

    Unfortunately, in our current society, this stuff does matter, even though it really shouldn’t. I still remember the moment I realized that I look different. Was around the first grade, and I mean it was clear who looked like me, who doesn’t, and some of the consequences of that, even if I didn’t fully understand everything behind it.

    Frankly, and I mean no disrespect to Mike who I think means well, but it’s easy to say “representation doesn’t matter” when you’re a middle aged white guy from Arizona/Milwauke and it’s never really been an issue for you. But say if you’re an Asian-American (like me) and it’s rare to see people that look like you in the media in non-stereotyped roles, you might feel differently. As a kid, even token representation was exciting (like the Asian X-wing pilot in ROTJ or Jonathan Ke Quan from The Goonies).

    I remember reading an interview with Whoopi Goldberg where she talked about the first time she saw a black woman on TV who wasn’t playing a maid. She said it was incredibly revelatory and influential to her.

  • I’ve heard a lot of people say “But what if the best person to play the part is white?” but I’m always like “Okay, but what if the best person to play the part ISN’T white? Then that should be okay, too.” I try to be friendly and not go on the attack when people get up in arms over diversity, since I think positivity will go further than accusations and such, but it is really hard to get someone to understand something they have never experienced themselves.

    Star Trek is like a pioneer for TV shows being diverse, and while I could never quite get into the original series I have a lot of respect for it for what it did with casting during a period in time where that was virtually unheard of. I think diversity has really improved in TV shows these days, too (I see a lot more Indian actors than I ever saw as a kid, and they are not in stereotyped roles) which I think is great. I like a varied cast if it is appropriate to the series (yeah, Game Of Thrones being mostly white is fine, but Hawaii Five-O not fighting for its two lead Asian actors… not good).

    I guess people feel that diversity is being “forced” onto them in an unnatural way, and that’s mostly what causes the push back, but it’s such a silly thing to get upset over! I’d rather a series have a diverse cast and not make a big deal of it (“Look how diverse we are! Come see our movie because we are so diverse!” does sound more like a gimmick) but I’m also not going to get upset at the actual casting, maybe just the PR people pushing for diversity recognition.

    But yeah… I think this is a positive change, and people opposed to it mostly just don’t know what it’s like to be excluded. Mike is probably one of those people, since I don’t actually think he’s racist or anything like that. He’s just a white dude born in the 70s who didn’t have to think about it that much growing up. Not his fault, but now’s a good climate to think about it 🙂

  • Reina

    I certainly don’t think Mike and RLM are racist, far from it. I think they’re well meaning guys who love film. But the the diversity section of the reviewis ill conceived. It eats up a huge chunk of the thing and never really makes a point. They complain about the whiteness of Lucas’s movies but seem to come down on Disney for cynically casting minorities (which is a fair point), before pulling that punch and saying it’s no big deal. The ‘Kids don’t care about diversity’ line is cringeworthy. They make the point that Star Wars transcends diversity when in one of the prequel videos, they correctly pointed out that casting Sam Jackson in the most boring role ever was a cynical ploy to draw black audiences without really having to do anything.

    I kind of see the point he’s trying to make and I certainly can agree that there was almost certainly a corporate interest in bringing in more demographics via promoting a diverse cast. But movies cast based on these factors all the time, so why is it now suddenly a problem? The supposed distinction between “forced diversity” and “natural diversity” is a false one.

    While it’s still far from perfect, things are definitely getting better. If I want diversity in space I go watch my favorite scifi program ever: Deep Space Nine. That showed how to do diversity without tokenism or being annoyingly self-conscious about it.

  • I totally agree with basically everything you said 😀

    I don’t think the RLM guys are racist (or sexist, since that started coming up last summer) either. I think sometimes they make some flawed commentary but most of their shows are unscripted (or loosely scripted at best). But Plinkett is scripted, so here I felt like actually pointing out that what they had said was a bit unfortunate. I don’t think they care if a movie doesn’t have a single white person in it, but they do care about corporate interest, as you said, even if that’s been going on since the dawn of film.

  • Trevor Wills

    I’m not really smart or funny or well-read at all. I don’t really like or feel passionate about Star Wars or most movies or anything. I’ll watch the Plinkett reviews and be inspired by the amount of effort and dedication and intelligence put into them and try and emulate that towards some project of my own and I just can’t because it’s all forced and boring. Idk where I’m going with this. I just can’t even begin to describe how much RedLetterMedia has changed my life. Maybe it’s sad, but Mike, Rich, Jay, Jack, and the whole gang are the best friends I have. I wish there were words to adequately describe my admiration but I don’t think there is.

  • moron

    HOW THE FUCK DID YOU SPELL LEIA WRONG YOU FUCK???????

    Yes, that was supposed to sound like I’m screaming at him BECAUSE I AAAAAAAAAAM.

    Plinkett out.

  • moron

    Finn really hits his cowardice low when he decides he’s just going to leave and escape the first order at the Cantina. Wait, is that butthole-eye-lady’s name Cantina too? Because thats fucking retarded because she runs a fucking Cantina.

    Although that plot arc is basically just lifted from Han wanting to leave to not help the rebellion in Star Wars and then coming back, so its not like its something unique or interesting.

  • ikdks

    I didn’t take it that seriously, because getting all worked up about a comment on Star Wars is a sign of being mentally unbalanced.

  • Patrick Murray

    Who gives a shit if they did? You have a problem with women?

  • Jonas

    Nothing sad about that. Only thing sad is that you might think its a sad thing to admit 🙂 I know its easy to say for a person youve never met, but honestly theres a lot to gain from reviews like this, both in terms of personal reflection but also in terms of critical thinking and getting some perspective on how cinema and popular culture works. I wish you all the best, and I hope you will continue to get inspired and being curious and open minded – which are far more important qualities than being funny, smart or well read.

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