Masters of the Universe Commentary Track Available Now!

April 20, 20162,852 Comments

https://redlettermedia.bandcamp.com/track/masters-of-the-universe-commentary-track

Rich, Mike, and Jay (Aka Susan or Reginald) watch the 1987 masterpiece “Masters of the Universe” by the legendary Cannon Films! Watch Dolph Lundgren try to talk! Look up Skeletor’s nostrals! Watch a film fall apart right before your eyes!!! Enjoy kids!

https://redlettermedia.bandcamp.com/track/masters-of-the-universe-commentary-track

Filed in: UncategorizedVlogs

  • Ren1

    Oh yes! Finally! Something to get excited about!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Content!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I listened to this shit days ago. Haven’t you f*cks learned to cater to just me specifically yet?

  • Bubs

    It’s not often that you see something so embarrassing, so godawful, so terrible that the creators are ashamed to be connected to it. No, it’s not Space Cop, it’s He-Man! What an ill-conceived piece of shit.

  • Palpatine

    We knew this already you hacks!

  • Eric Marchand

    Thank you for this commentary. RLM commentaries are the only reason I haven’t run my wrists over a table saw blade. Rich Evans is a national treasure.

  • Domo

    Hot damn. This commentary track is so cheap to purchase, I’m even able to afford man milk from the great Rich Evans.

    Thank you, Red Letter Media!

  • Duckler

    Oh man, this is the best thing since New Coke!

  • Glyph Wright

    How DARE you hacks try to profit from the content you create?! Greedy, thieving monsters!

  • Sully

    I had an embarrassing amount of He-Man toys in the 80s… even by 80s He-Man prime standards.

  • Red Skeleton

    He-man music? Kidnappings? There’s something familiar about this set-up…. Oh, right, it’s a lot like that episode of Plinkett The Animated Series: Cat-napped. I WOULD post a link to it… except ALL THE PLINKETT TAS LINKS ARE BROKEN, YOU LAZY FUUUUUUUUCKKSSSSS!!!!!

  • Palpatine

    This part of the video where all the toys show reminded me of a Robot Chicken sketch.

  • Palpatine

    Also, here’s the full movie for your viewing “pleasure”:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVisd9ihWv0

  • The best part has to be who posted this online. Some South Korean pirate? No, it’s the official YouTube channel of the rights holder. They have literally decided that they might as well just make YouTube ad revenue rather than have to waste money pressing and shipping this on physical media.

  • Did anybody else find it very very annoying that the volume on this commentary was much lower than their other commentary tracks?

  • Palpatine

    They must think of it as one of their “lesser” films.

  • To modify the old J. Michael Straczynski joke, it’s the only movie in the world where the MPAA says “fuck it, do whatever you want with it.”

  • Sully

    @29:40

    Pro-white washing confirmed by Rich.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    I had the castle thing. It was pretty lame.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yay a new content… that we all listened to days ago… I wish everyone was dead.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its so you buy it.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    FUCK THIS AND FUCK YOU

  • Captain_Prickhard

    (j/k)

  • ChachaIaca

    I think I missed something. When did the “Reginald” thing with Jay become a thing?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    last HitB.

  • Domo
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    OK, The bit at the end was lame. Raise the toys right arm a bit then twist it like its slapping mike. mike takes a dive and synch the two videos so it looks like the toy hit mike. add a slap sound. done.
    LAZY!

  • Captain_Prickhard

    I’m going to take Jay’s suggestion and watch the Cannon Films documentary, Electric Boogaloo – available through subspace channels.

  • Palpatine

    Listen to this guy, RLM, he’s a pro filmmaker!

  • Percy Gryce

    My only consolation is that I know they didn’t waste my Patreon donation buying those He-Man toys.

    They borrowed them from Rich Evans. He’s got a complete set, mint in box. Or so I’ve heard.

  • Palpatine

    Along with his Warhammer figurines.

  • Percy Gryce

    They’re scale model miniatures.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Man dolls.

  • frankelee

    That was his boyfriend.

  • Domo

    Here’s hoping they do a commentary track for Wendy’s Television ads so Rich Evans can find his friend.

    The poor guy will show up in the comments going “That’s me! Anyone wanna see my Wendy’s ad?!”

    It’ll be beautiful.

  • Domo

    I hope Rich Evans has Rainbow Brite toys, too, so that someday they can do a commentary track on Rainbow Brite and The Star Stealer.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Given its just me and a phone camera… Yes, yes I am.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VCgniXTG3w

    It’s funny because it’s true.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s a very entertaining documentary.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Sheman gets more clicks.

  • Cakefarts

    There is nothing that can make me watch MOTU.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    when i saw the screen shot image i jumped to conclusions that it was Beastmaster. but was disappointed. but this is better then nothing of course.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    i dunno about you Domo, but i like dunking my Chocolate Chip Cookies in my Rich Evans Man Milk

  • Jerome Gorden

    This is Hayden Christensen’s favorite childhood movie.

  • Thanatos2k

    Good, another opportunity to throw money at these fucks.

  • Thanatos2k

    They are!? Oh thank god

  • Quite the cast in this movie. Tom Paris, Gale Weathers, Mr. Strickland, and of course: Universal Soldier.

  • I hope other companies adopt a similar philosophy. There are plenty of films I’d like to watch on YouTube but would never pay money to purchase or rent. Some money is better than no money!

  • Fake gritty VHS quality effects are so 2011. RLM is trying to cash in on the nostalgia crowd at the tail end of the 80’s style internet craze. Pathetic. I’ll just buy four copies this time.

    #hosers

  • Instead they got wasted on the set of Space Cop. Get it? It’s a gay joke.

  • Tapeworm

    Ah yes, Dolph Lundgren is definitely in my Top 50 Chemical Engineers of the 80s.

  • Swedish taxpayer dollars paid for that. Just imagine what he could have accomplished if he weren’t an actor. Thanks Dolph for your career choice. I feel so ashamed.

  • “”””””””Content””””””””!

    #therefixedit

  • Tapeworm

    To be fair, taxpayers payed for my education as well and unlike Lundgren I don’t bring joy to literally hundreds of people.

  • It always troubled me how, in the cartoon, after He-Man claims to be the most powerful man in the universe, he punches the screen. Effectively he inflicts random violence on the viewer, who is probably some kid playing with his Masters of The Universe toys in his pajamas in front of the TV.

    I was still hard into Star Wars when Masters Of The Universe came out, but for some reason I saw this fore-runner to Highlander 2 in the cinema. Skeletor re-imagined as a human baked Alaska – a bare skull slathered in raw meringue. He-Man exchanging one bumpkin hairstyle for another.

    A little-known fact is that while Skeletor was on Earth, he fathered a child who grew up to be Josh Trank’s Doctor Doom.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You do to us.

  • Commander X

    Actual content! Now these lazy hacks can go back to months of no new content and their heavy drinking to dull the pain of their existence.

    I mean, I personally cannot drink alcohol, my treacherous body rejects it, so that escape is denied to me.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Used to be mint in the box, until Rich decided to grow up and not care about silly toys. That, or Mike and Jay forced him to hand them over for their stupid webzone, just like they forced him to masturbate with an astromech droid, like if it was his penis, and tear the the tauntaun out of its box, like if it was his penis.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Too bad none of the Paramount Vault stuff seems to be available here. I guess Masters of the Universe still has some market value in Europe. Stop buying this movie, so we can watch it free, assholes!

  • tOmy`

    Sources claim that it was in works since Half in the Bag, Episode 4. RLM carefully planned it for years, showing unbelievable foresight.

  • tOmy`

    Awwww, the bitter aftertaste of effort.

    How embarrassing.

  • tOmy`

    There is a new one?

    What, did they make the powder glitter on a sun?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You did your best… oh, wait? what are you talking about?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I dream of the day the $25.60 I spent making movies pays off…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The guy making it committed suicide you dick.

  • Crixxxx

    I remember seeing the trailer as a kid and wondering what this, “Masters of the Universe” crap was. If it’s a movie about He-Man, call it He-Man, for crying out loud. Then the movie came out and it looked nothing like the cartoon and my second-hand, partially broken tag sale aquired He-Man play sets. First instance of being genuinely let down by a movie adaptation of something I liked.

    Anyway, here is an interview with Pigboy, all grown up: http://www.he-man.org/cartoon/feature.php?id=51&fid=89

  • tOmy`

    They say that the correct use of punctuation can reduce your life sentence. Allow me to demonstrate:

    “Watch a film fall apart right before your eyes!!! Enjoy kids!”
    “Watch a film fall apart right before your eyes!!! Enjoy, kids!”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It is merely indicative of a pause or beat in the sentence, not an incitement to child abuse. YOU NO ENGLISH SPEAKING GRAMMAR CZECHNAZI!

  • “””””””hundreds”””””””

  • tOmy`

    It is a vocative use. You put the goddamn coma there. Even I know that. And that is coming from someone who literally gave up on English punctuation because he was in bed with Czech punctuation since the age of 9.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    SLUT!

  • tOmy`

    Needless to say, it as a very confusing and abusive relationship.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    NOOOOOOOOPE. either of them could be used to indicate abuse or not,
    ‘Enjoy Kids!!’ creepy smile
    ‘Enjoy,(gestures at kids an smiles creepily) kids’
    ‘Enjoy, kids.’ *Knowing you poisoned the pizza.

  • tOmy`

    I love the clever ways even native speakers find to butcher one of the most simple languages of all times.

    And that is counting 1337speak.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Andrew lecturing in English grammar… Well, that’s a first.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Anglais is easy structurally but has 500,000 words. 400,000 of which we stole and reused or recombined. Have fun.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I may be Dyslexic but that dont men me not man smarts.

  • tOmy`

    Just adorbs!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Men instead of mean was a typo. but it was to good to fix.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, “men me not man smarts” has a definitely great beat to it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Reading you post it made me laugh so hard. it gave me the separation to see it as others would.

  • Embodied

    That might come in handy…

  • Like Icare

    That’s how Orson Welles started. With a camera and a tub of miniatures. And a pipe.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmw68sw7AIE

  • Ooooooooooooooooooooooh…

  • tOmy`

    We can sue all of our Patreon money back!

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Both or my parents were English teachers and Shakespeare fanatics. When I showed up at school and spoke the kids thought I was a spy or a time traveler.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    To the pure, all is pure.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    To was a typo two.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Navy Seals?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “Vocative.”
    #Nice

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No that was just dyslexia. my bad.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Is that how that ksorw?

  • Yea. I’m in Guantanamo Bay now. 🙁

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    E’s ans S’s totootwos Where were wear ware, I have to actually think about whichwichwitch one means what.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    P.S. How is Czech punctuation in bed? I’ve heard she is very forceful and knows what she wants, which can be intimidating, if one is low on man smarts.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    at least they have good food.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNMTNdh4FJM

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Their they’re there, don’t worry ’bout it.
    #Wich?

  • tOmy`

    Latin education ftw!

    When I really wanna impress a girl, I just randomly say words like “ablativ” or… “alea iacta est”.

    Or my classical buodior move: Screaming “Hannibal ante portas”!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Drumpf was in town yesterday, and I missed it! Nobody tells me nothin’!

  • tOmy`

    She is a very strict lady and she likes to break the rules.

  • tOmy`

    Was it the rally speech where he said “7-11” instead of “9/11”?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Meeeeow, kitten!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Nah. That was in New York (of all places). To be fair, he had just had a Slurpee, so 7-11 was on his mind. It was the classiest Slurpee.

  • tOmy`

    We don’t have 7-11s here, but I had the pleasure of venturing into one during my stay in Sweden.

    It is a shop indeed.

  • Sully

    I had both castles…

    https://93percenttrue.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/castle-grayskull.jpg

    http://www.he-man.org/assets/images/collect_toy/snakemountain03_full.png

    …and about a billion figures. I’ve still got most of them in storage somewhere. I’ve been thinking about breaking them out for my son, but honestly, I don’t think he’d give a shit about’em.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Beef jerky. Right there at the counter. Exactly where you need it. Next to the motor oil.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I would have sent you a Barrett .50 cal and directions… but I was actually worried about you.
    (Ask t0my, its true.)
    {Being worried! not the fiddy cal relax I.C.E.}

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    That was gold.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Pro-Wrestling “legend” Chyna has died, and I’ve been trying to come up with a tasteless, inappropriate transgender joke. You know, in allegiance with Curt Schilling, ex-Yankees pitcher and Ted Nugent-level blowhard.

    #MenMeNotManSmarts

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    there is no 711 outside our city’s?… its like the easiest to rob place ever decided to not open stores in the ‘Mad Max’ zones. MEDIOCRE!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Meh we kill what we eat… the counter here is full of No-Doze and Compilation CDS of 70’s music…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XlaiTKIXqs

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I suppose I should type something about Masters of the Universe. We still do that around here, right?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    We have never stayed on topic and be fucked if i’ll……
    Anyone seen Star Blazers?

  • tOmy`

    We talked about it when it got uploaded. Like… 4 days ago.

    Which begs the question: Is someone constantly refreshing their bandcamp page?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No………….
    *f5

  • I’m still glad I skipped on the whole H&K trilogy.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Just sose I can remind you of who I am: What’s a bandcamp page?

  • Sully

    Have you tried the inverted water spa?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    following an artist on bandcamp will give you notifications every time they release a new piece of content or if they simply want to announce a tour or smth. and I thought you were supposed to be the music guy around here…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Rey’s mother’s identity might have been leaked by Lucasfilm. Turns out she’s a nobody. So, um, wow. Big news.

    My yawn just yawned.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    well you’re wrong. if you’re straight. Stay sober. xoxo

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Is Mary Poppins her mother?

  • capitandelespacio

    Been listening at this for the past 2 days.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Teacher: “If you’re not sure sound it out.”
    W-I-CH. derp!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Listening at? Seems a little passive-aggressive.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The “P” is always silent.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    platform for music that eliminates publishers out of the equation and all the revenue goes 100% towards the artists. Buying music gets you downoloads of mp3 and flac copies but you can also buy physical copies if the artist is able to produce them. If you don’t want to pay you can simply stream it all for free with no limits on anything. And last but not least unlike shit like Tidal there’s no self imposed celebrity entry quota. You can find the most underground&hipster things on there just as much as mainstream shit.

  • Sully

    Depends on how much you drink… and where you aim.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Who doesn’t love these big plastic pieces of junk? I had the Thunderbirds Interactive Tracy Island: http://vindingrijk-1947.kxcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/P1180272.jpg

    Although, I don’t remember it looking nearly as good as in the picture.

  • tOmy`

    I have never ever used bandcamp outside of random searches. You know me, I like to stack my music [redacted].

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It actually is here we say der! not derp!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Why would you redact “like pancakes”?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    check my reply to Pa below. I think it’s the only music store that’s worth supporting.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I aim for the porcelain…
    And no I will not translate this.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqZaYgcdLV4

  • tOmy`

    Ha, I never knew that. I go by a combination of metacritic / allmusic + some FB pages and couple of webs I shouldn’t mention here.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • dollar store cashier wife

    metacritic is kinda shit but it is useful when you simply want to find the next “trendy” piece of content.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dont tell me the sith raped god again… eeew!

  • TomokoHasegawa

    Is this the Plinkett TFA review? And if not, WHY NOT???

  • tOmy`

    Yep, exactly. I just use it to stay up to date and when bored, check out the current top scoring albums.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It is. If you cant see it keep hitting f5, or disable your firewall and send you creditcard number to http://WWW.SCA/m-
    Wait, banned WHY!?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Dolph Lundgren has an IQ of 160!

    And he’s still alive!

  • Sully

    That’s rad.

  • Sully
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Same amount he can curl, one-armed!
    Life just gotta be great for that guy.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    They’re not good people.

  • Earth

    Did they do a commentary track of Masters of the Universe just so they could they make this video?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yes.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Earth

    This is the most manchild thing these manchildren have ever done.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    no.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    who is?

  • The new Jason Bourne trailer is the shit! Matt Damon is killing people left and right. https://youtu.be/nI4ssz1mvqo

  • Yes!

  • No!

  • Imagine getting a handjob by Dolph Lundgren. Ooooooooh, yeeeeaaaaaaah.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    stop being

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Silly.

  • Let’s not forget he’s in Kindergarten Cop 2! Life couldn’t be better!

  • O-

  • -kay.
    #underwhelming

  • I can’t see it yet but I hope you mean that Mike is cosplaying as He-Man.

  • Varies?

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Invariable.

  • Not anymore, wifey. 15% goes to bandcamp now (for tax reasons). It’s still a good deal.

  • Heckler&Koch?

  • Like Icare

    Once robbers broke into his home while he was away, tied his wife to a chair and went around the house looking for valuables.
    When they realized from family photos and such that it’s his home, they ran away.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_I_gmWEGBo

    Funny thing is, something similar happened to his Showdown in Little Tokyo costar, Brandon Lee.
    He too had his home invaded by a burglar and he too had photos of himself with his dad all around the place. Didn’t work in quite the same way.
    Burglar was still there when he came home. And he attacked Lee with a knife, leaving him with a small scar on his hand.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    well shit. CORPORATE SELLOUTS!

  • Palpatine

    RLM should do a commentary on The Garbage Pail Kids Movie next. Or at least feature it on BotW.

  • Like Icare

    He disputes that number. Says he’s not “that” smart.
    Just smart enough to “get a few scholarships”. Like… you know… Fulbright one for MIT.
    http://www.maxim.com/entertainment/8-things-you-need-know-about-dolph-lundgren

    Which to him was probably just Tuesday by then.
    Winning all those other scholarships, going through Swedish Rangers school, winning tournaments, championships, completing his Masters degree in Chemical Engineering, fucking Grace Jones…

    http://40.media.tumblr.com/1b5fd4cd91384c244f60a14ed6e51db9/tumblr_njs7vfxpFK1t144d3o1_500.jpg

  • Badass_Jellykin

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjYZoGACF90

    He Man S02 E26 Jacob And The Widgets, skip to 3:38 to see what he man was really all about

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Sith. They’re not sending us their best people. They’re rapists. They sell drugs. And, I assume, you know the rest.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Both.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Racist!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You’d think he’d pick better scripts.

    #NailedIt

  • Palpatine

    I think the animators did that stuff on purpose.

  • tOmy`

    Happy birthday, Iggy! Enjoy your retreat in Paraguay!

    *sobs*

  • Palpatine

    He faces continues to sag lower and lower. In fact, he’s starting to look like Droopy Dog.

  • Like Icare

    Well… they don’t teach you to be charming while getting that chemical engineering degree.
    It’s not that kinda chemistry.

    Even Ahnold was self-taught. And even he had a long way to go.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=wlolmJq4XtM#t=2291

  • tOmy`

    He might be 69, but I still wouldn’t risk saying that out loud.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Ted Cruz’ unattractive wife is in my law firm’s offices today, meeting with Hoosier donors. What a great week I picked to return to work!

    #FyuckingLawyers

  • TMC_Sherpa

    A whole set? Please, that’s enough money for maybe one good army

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Maybe, but Dolph had three things Ahnold never had: Looks, smarts, the ability to speak the language, Grace Jones.

    OK, four things.

  • Like Icare
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You’ve seen how Rich treats his toys when he gets excited. “Mint” is very unlikely.

  • TheManHole

    Is it really any better then Shmi Skywalker. I mean they just picked an extra who was on set to play her the day of shooting.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I’ve already been told to put away my Feel the Bern paraphernalia.

  • Like Icare
  • TheManHole

    It’s my birthday and all I got was a Masters of the universe commentary track abandon all hope there is no salvation.

  • Like Icare

    They can’t prove it’s you printing those wanted posters – if you wear gloves.

  • Sully

    HEY! At least it wasn’t a Pre-Rec. So you take this commentary track and you FUCKING APPRECIATE IT!

  • Sully

    Be sure to spill hot coffee on her face and tell’er Sully sent ya. She’ll know what that means. Okay, she won’t know what it means, but it’ll still keep her indoors and off the trail for about a week.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Happy Birthday.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Good idea, but I don’t do the coffee.

    What do you think I am? A Lady Worker?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You’d have trouble smiling too, if all your life accomplishments earned you was a spot on The Expendables’ roster.

  • Sully

    Both?

  • Sully

    He gets it honest though. Schwarzenegger and Stallone have the same problem.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Why would he print wanted posters of Obama wearing glasses?

  • Joe Syxpac

    I don’t wanna have to watch Garbage Pail Kids. It was hard enough to get through Masters of the Universe.

  • Tapeworm

    Or the internet to be honest. I heard stories…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I liked the previous 3 movies. But I can’t muster up any exciment for this one.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Is this the Bourne v Bourne extended universe franchise thingy?

    Pass.

  • Tapeworm

    I’ll sing you a Happy Birhday to you, just looking for a suitable white dress.

  • TheManHole

    Give it 10-15 years and they will remake the original three for you to pay to see again.

  • TheManHole

    Get out of my dreams and into my basement.

  • Susan’s been kidnapped by embarrassing toys! SPACE COP, WE NEED YOU!

  • You say it like it’s a bad thing. Unless those midgets are children… Then it is a bad thing.

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens was such a success in Poland that the movie is added to every issue of Polityka (politics) magazine. I’m not joking. http://sklep.polityka.pl/assets/catalog/parts/Prenumerata/sklejka_sw_web.jpg

  • tOmy`

    All you need to know about Iggy is that one story by Henry Rollins.

  • tOmy`

    Did anyone mention to your government that the oppressive, fascist side are the bad guys in this one?

    Seems kinda counter-productive…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I have no idea why this movie even exists. I mean I know that Matt Damon likes money but I have no idea if it’s a reboot/remake/sequel/soft reboot/spinoff/

  • tOmy`

    In the spirit of this channel, here is my sexy, yet mean spirited birthday wish:

    https://youtu.be/hw9oTZgwDc4?t=42s

  • tOmy`

    Extreme Ways are the key to this. If we can get Extreme Ways working again… because these ways are more extreme than we ever had.

  • Tapeworm

    Yeah, I remember being hyped and liking Ultimatum a lot, but this one (and the..Legacy? Haven’t seen that one) leave me cold. Greengrass knows what he’s doing though, I think it will be at least serviceable.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Regarding Billy Barty, to RIch, Mike and Jay: he first became famous for his appearances in the Gold Diggers movies as a lecherous man-baby, and those were in the 30’s, so, yeah, he was an old man in 1990.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWwT5UTJv-Y

  • tOmy`

    I laughed way too hard at this. The message got debunked like 2 days ago but their fans still showed up. It’s kinda incredible.

    My favorite comment so far was: “Wait, they have 100 fans?!”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    They did it all for the Nukie.

  • Percy Gryce

    Mint . . . flavored.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    How much you wanna bet, though, that next year that Ohio gas station is the site of a 4/20 fest featuring Bizkit, Korn, Offspring, and Foo Fighters?

  • Percy Gryce

    A couple dozen?

  • Tapeworm

    What a bunch of Mary Sues

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Mary Sue Kowalskis.

  • Tapeworm

    I have “Kowalski” labeled as an American name in my head.

  • Joe Syxpac

    What Masters of the Universe needed to make it better.

    Establish the power of He-Man’s sword and that Skeletor needs that for his space eye ritual.

    Diminish the importance of finding the key to simply “their only way home”.

    Establish He-Man’s power. They don’t even have to be expensive effects. He-Man punches the ground and everyone falls down, bullets bounce off him when Lubic shoots him with a pistol, etc.

    Give He-Man something to do.

    Cast Jesse Ventura as Trap-Jaw. Let him chew the scenery as much as he likes both literally and figuratively.

    Make the Mattel sweepstakes winner the Prince Adam version of He-Man when Skeletor takes the sword away from him. It’s a fun reveal that He-Man was just a kid the entire time and we get the amusement of seeing Richard Szponder spend the rest of his life going to sci-fi conventions in a pink shirt.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    At Ellis Island the clerks couldn’t spell Kovąlićżek.

  • Like Icare

    Not quite the same.
    Ahnold learned rather quickly how to be charming.
    Stallone specialized in playing lovable oafs.
    Lundgren just went around doing the ubermensch.

    Which he arguably is – but he never learned how to humanize that image.
    He seems like an OK guy, but that never carries over into his roles.
    He should’ve tried doing comedies earlier, to give the audience the idea that he is not a complete robot, so that some charm would be expected from him, which would humanize him and give him an appearance of some range.

    He should have done stuff like this long ago.
    http://40.media.tumblr.com/c9bd423aadfdead6656a40588681968d/tumblr_mntp9gtDn91r0r1t8o4_400.jpg
    I get a feeling that he is a bit of a shy nerd, who never quite figured out that whole social thing.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    I remember this from ten years ago:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6200539.stm

    Maybe they could choose Anakin ‘Space Jesus’ Skywalker.

  • Like Icare

    To spread confusion and befuddlement, of course.
    Make everyone guessing “What does it all mean?”

    That way, while they’re busy guessing, he can steal all the cakes.
    http://www.therobotsvoice.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/lexluthorcakes.jpg

  • Like Icare
  • Captain_Prickhard

    JJ delenda est.

  • Palpatine

    But it’s funniest number!

  • Captain_Prickhard

    To be fair, it’s entirely plausible that Limp Bizkit would eventually take gigs at school dances, bar mitzvahs, and even gas stations.

  • RLMkeepitup

    jesse ventura and everything else you said would have been awesome

  • Palpatine

    You’re asking too much out of Cannon films.

  • Tom William Edwards V

    Hey, you hack-frauds, where’s my new Plinkett?

  • tOmy`

    Snatch: Guy Ritchie film being turned into TV series. It will be ‘in the same veins as Fargo’.

    Yea, I bet it will. And also disappointing as shit. Nah, I am just kidding, they have the best people working on it: Sony Pictures Television.

  • In a mental institution.

  • Palpatine

    It’s actually in the Dumpster behind the mental institution, right next to Bambi’s skeleton.

  • tOmy`

    Damn, man, heard about Prince?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Prince dead?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “A fatality at Paisley Park.”

    Surely if it were Prince, they’d’ve said so?

  • NicCagesHair

    Seems so.

    Being that cool always comes at a cost.

  • tOmy`
  • tOmy`

    Seems like it has been confirmed.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Apparently, yes.
    FUCK

  • Palpatine

    They’re not saying if it’s him or not.

  • Sully

    Wow… That’s two one named celebrities in one day. Is the mothership coming?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s finally caught up with his career.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Thank God he’s dead”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Nope. Not yet confirmed by anyone other than TMZ.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Too soon, dude.

  • Sully

    You couldn’t have waited 8 more minutes?! Fuck!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s not confirmed to be dead yet. You see TMZ said he’s dead but other places say someone found a dead body at his estate. Prince could be alive and be a murderer.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So he’s alive.

  • Palpatine

    Ooh, I hate TMZ!

  • tOmy`

    “Prince’s publicist also confirmed that he died to the Associated Press.”

  • TheManHole

    They really are the worst humanity has to offer.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Associated Press has confirmed it.

  • Palpatine

    Or maybe someone who lived there died of natural causes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    …….sssshhhhiiiiiiieeeeeeettttt

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yep. Just saw that, too.

  • Palpatine

    FUCK!!!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Whappens four minutes from now?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well, I only liked Purple Rain. RIP, you fucking weirdo.

  • TheManHole

    Gotta love the power of the internet guys not even dead a hour and the whole world already knows.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Actually, they found him at 9:43 AM this morning. That’s three and a half hours. Internet be slacking.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well, I’m going to hell for saying a few things. I’ll be down there with the RLM crew.

  • tOmy`

    Well, it’s worth it, now every bozo out there can start quickly listening to Prince’s discography so he can say tomorrow: “Yea, these two tracks inspired our whole career.”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    And yet, Madonna…Still alive.

  • tOmy`

    And releasing a new album.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fuck you, God.

  • TheManHole

    It’s because lizard people age slower.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Just wait till Boss Nass comes here. He’ll start talking about how tapdancing on Prince’s grave was on his bucket list.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    And Elton John will prissily refuse to have a comment.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    At least she employs a staff of twelve.

    You know, that thing in her panties ain’t gonna clean itself.

    #Me&Wiz-Bound4Hell

  • tOmy`

    Well, one of my favorite DJs / producers already wrote a message, but to their defense, I like them they did talk about Prince a lot before today.

  • Sully

    The joke embargo lifts.

  • tOmy`

    Count in AVC:

    “He’s now OFFICIALLY the artist formerly known as “Prince”.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Dude, Dirty Mind, 1999, Purple Rain and Sign O’ the Times are deserted island albums for me.

  • Sully

    FINGERS CROSSED!!! Wait, what…?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s truly the end of the world.

  • NicCagesHair

    The tap-dancing begins.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I fyucking HATE the AV Club.

  • Sully

    Is she though? Are we sure that’s not some old guy wearing her face? It would explain a lot actually.

    http://images.indianexpress.com/2016/01/madonna-759.jpeg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    David Bowie and Freddie Mercury are sitting at a burger joint. Suddenly the clouds of Heaven part.
    Freddie-David, it looks like someone new.
    David-Please let it be Madonna.
    Out from the clouds comes Prince
    Freddie-Fuckin’ really?!
    David-Serious, on that petition we signed we asked for Trump and Madonna.
    God-Sorry, my Phone’s autocorrect is terrible.

  • tOmy`

    You know, I did say that this year in music is gonna be huge.

    Now I am kinda realizing I might have foreshadowed even the negative stuff.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There was a time I wanted to fuck Madonna….I regret those times.

  • Sully

    I think Bowie and Freddie would rather have Prince up there than Madonna.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Transgenderphobia.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Here’s Prince covering Radiohead at Coachella 2008:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFXZNt4oLkE

  • TheManHole

    When I told my office I work in that he’s dead someone corrected me when I said Price was dead telling me it’s “The artist formerly known as Prince is dead” no one seems that shook up about it though.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They have to suggest who they want dead the most. Even in Heaven people are dicks.

  • Domo

    Dearly beloved
    We are gathered here today
    2 get through this thing called life
    Electric word life
    It means forever and that’s a mighty long time
    But I’m here 2 tell u
    There’s something else
    The after world

    The world of neverending happiness
    You can always see the sun
    Day or Night

  • Sully

    Material Girl or Truth or Dare?

  • Like Icare

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOjjY-Pp_og

    And it’s not even his final form.

  • NicCagesHair

    I wonder who will inherit Prince’s titles. Is it strictly a primogeniture or maybe a gavelkind? Is it strictly Salic or semi-Salic?

    This will probably end in a vicious struggle for power the likes of which haven’t been seen since the Tudors.

  • Like Icare

    The artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as artist formerly known as Prince.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The only that can the world worse today is Adam Sandler. And he did https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXvGj_9LNsw

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Just as long as fyucking Jay-Z doesn’t buy the catalog.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m on a highway to Hell!

  • Like Icare
  • NicCagesHair

    That’s one throne I would prefer him not to watch.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Satan owes me a triad of darkly comic music deaths:
    >Billy Joel
    >Bruce Springsteen
    >Jon Bon Jovi

  • Sully

    …and then he brought us pancakes.

    https://j.gifs.com/J61zzD.gif

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I want Chad Kroger to be dead. That’s doesn’t make me a bad person.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Bon Jovi can die twice in Springsteen’s place.

  • TheManHole

    Get them all on a plane and the rest will sort itself out.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    If Lady GaGa does the Grammy tribute, I’mma gonna kill somebody.

  • tOmy`

    You bet your ass she will.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Can it be her? Please?

  • NicCagesHair

    She is already buying costumes.

  • TheManHole

    We can only hope she wears his skin as an outfit while she does it.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Why do you hate me, Cap’n? Why?

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Maybe she can wear that meat dress again – release the hounds!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They need Jack Nicholson

  • Captain_Prickhard
  • tOmy`

    Well, let’s face it. Who else?

    Jamiroquai?

  • Domo

    She probably wants a Tony now, and will create a whole musical for his discography.

    Purple and ruffles, oh my!

  • Like Icare

    There’s that whole vault of music he recorded and stacked in there for like after the end of the world.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8LhcParuzpc#t=1694

  • tOmy`

    I love this segment so much. Especially The Cure dissing.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “When asked what it feels like to be the best guitarist alive, Eric Clapton said, ‘I don’t know. Ask Prince.'”

    Is this anecdote for real?

  • tOmy`

    I heard it. Not sure if it’s real.

  • NicCagesHair

    Coked out Clapton would beg to differ.

  • NicCagesHair

    Don’t read voice-over with any feeling Spade.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mark Knopfler is the answer….SHIT NOT HIM NEXT!

  • Like Icare

    He didn’t go into another racist rant? Funny, he’s about due. Gettin slower with age I guess.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    I thought he said Rory Gallagher.

  • Two. His mother and a crazy drunk living down the street from his parents old house(it’s allegedly his father).

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The fucking watermelon guy?

  • NicCagesHair

    Oasis?

  • Domo

    From what I can see, it’s fake. There’s no original source, and it’s been used for different artists as well. Maybe someone had said the phrase for different artists, but it probably wasn’t Clapton.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Anybody — EVERYBODY — else. Chrissy, even Bouncý wouldn’t offend me as much.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Are those vultures?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    All available tomorrow. Exclusively on Tidal.
    The world is a very mean place.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “When asked what it feels like to be the best guitarist alive, Eric Clapton said, ‘I don’t know. Ask Rich Evans.” See I can do it too

  • A washed up drunk coke snorting wife beater telling that a crazy cultist nutjob is a better guitar player? Ok, I’d watch that.

  • tOmy`

    Wo. Ah.

  • Like Icare

    Don’t know about you, but to me it sounds like high-fiber cheese might be exactly the thing that US of A sorely needs.

    Particularly if there’s a canned variety.
    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/03/21/article-2585888-1C754E8C00000578-522_634x432.jpg

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I actually met Eric Clapton once. I forgot to ask him who the best guitarist was.

    The conversation was…
    “Hello, Eric. Thank you.”
    “Thank you.”

    It wasn’t an earth-shaking meeting.

  • bleurgh

    “People talk about Eric Clapton. What has he ever done except throw his baby off a fucking ledge and write a song about it?”

    Legit one of my favourite quotes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well there will be no more fingering https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xmAC9Qu908

  • You beat me to it, by a second.

  • tOmy`

    Wellp, since none of you have Tidal (I hope at least), you can tune into TheCurrent radio for 9 hours of Prince music and voices breaking down:

    http://www.thecurrent.org/listen

  • Like Icare

    She should just get one of these with a Jehovah’s Witness pattern.

    http://www.rootsuit.com/collections/pattern-suits

  • It’s all worth it for the tunes. Benders, hookers and a ton of cocaine will put you in that special artistic mood. Revel in your time.

    https://youtu.be/O5MDGMvrSJc?t=2m41s

  • Don’t you remember our Tidal match? It was the most romantic moment of my lyfe. *nervous breakdown*

  • I would get Tidal but I got AIDS instead so” I’m in a better place”.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Like Icare

    You should exchange Billy Joel for another New Joysean.

  • tOmy`

    Jesus, 2016 is fucking merciless:

    “Kendrick Lamar, Adele, Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande Named to Time’s Most Influential List”

  • Mark Bisone

    Why does it look like they shot this video inside my colon?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yeesh.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    In other news the suicide rate has gone up

  • tOmy`

    Even with my utter cynicism turned off, meaning that I “get” how Lamar and Adele made the list, the rest is just baffling. Like… what in the name of a fuck?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The future. Can I get a refund?

    (I did not just go through all the sh!t I just went through for these results.)

  • Captain_Prickhard
  • Domo

    Mark Bisone: certified cannibal.

  • Like Icare

    And you thought Tom Hanks’ midlife crisis was bad.

  • bleurgh

    On the bright-side at least one of the fucking Eagles is dead.

  • Ah c’mon it’s not so bad…………………………………………………………………….

  • Mark Bisone

    Maybe Prince died of righteous indignation?

  • Like Icare

    Who runs the Jehovah’s Witnesses?

    Besides Jehovah. Who’s the number 2 guy?

  • tOmy`

    Witness?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Chrissy! This day gets WORSE! Ted just showed up with his wife!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    How do you know what the inside of Mr. Bisone’s colon looks like? Maybe it’s a handsome colon.

  • tOmy`

    That blonde oppressed robot?

  • Like Icare

    Don’t mind if I do!
    http://imgur.com/3UeSFph

  • Mark Bisone

    First Ziggy Stardust, now Prince. Very rough year for music, thus far. Meanwhile, Cher and Madonna will probably live to be 5000 years old.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    I think Prince was a Jehovah’s Witness. They print a magazine called The Watchtower published in NYC. I’m wondering if they’ll dim the lights on their Brooklyn-side building:
    https://www.revealnews.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/BrooklynBridge-and-Watchtower_toned-web-780×440.jpg

  • bleurgh

    We live in a strange era were the largest and oldest portion of the population is spending the most money on music. Hence why good, but unfathomably boring adult contemporary artists like Adele are considered hugely important.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Like Icare

    Something something ironic nostalgic.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    They’ve shut all the elevators but one off, and there’s a Secret Service guy on every floor.
    C’mon. Get over your fyucking self!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I don’t know a single person my age who owns anything by Adele.

  • tOmy`

    Lemmy, Prince, Bowie and retirement of Iggy.

    That’s what I got for celebrating the break-up of Coldplay. Universe is cruel.

  • tOmy`

    They are trying to keep sense away from him.

  • Like Icare

    Wait… Don’t Bill and Ted marry princesses while they themselves get replaced by evil robots?
    https://cinema1544.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/princesses-and-rufus-jam.jpg

  • tOmy`

    Thanks, I didn’t know this existed.

    Now, onto the more pressing question: Why does it exist?

  • Captain_Prickhard

    They come in fours…
    Bowie, Lemmy, Prince, and…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUKYvdANAOw

  • That. And the poor.

  • tOmy`

    Well, I think we are not her target audience, so there is that.

    But me “getting” her place on the list are the record-breaking sales. Not sure if it counts as an influence, but hey.

  • Like Icare

    Are they monitoring the incoming and outgoing communication?
    Cause that could mean only one thing…

    BOMBS BOMBS BOMBS ISLAM JIHAD ALLAHU AKBAR ADMIRAL AKBAR ISIS CATS BOOM 7/11

  • One can only hope.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think Madonna is desperately trying to stay hip. “Hip”… isn’t that what the kids say these days?

  • Maybe in the 1960’s.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    She’s got the money. She can just get it replaced. She doesn’t have to make a big deal of it.

  • 9/11 Are you trying to get Pa into trouble? 9/11

  • tOmy`

    She should take notes from Gwen Motherfucking Stefani.

    “Look at me rising / I am not even trying”

  • A handsome colon? Like Gary Busey or Marty Feldman or Benedict Cumberbatch?

  • Mark Bisone

    She’s kind of an anti-virtuoso, these days. She manages to stitch together six or seven of the worst trends in recent pop music, and somehow create a song even worse than the sum of its awful parts.

  • bleurgh

    My friend once joked that no-one has ever bought an Adele album at a record store. Her albums are exclusively sold as CD’s in supermarkets and petrol stations.

  • Domo

    I’m not sure how she can stay current. Her whole shtick was constantly changing her look to be different from others. Now that this shtick is done by everybody, she just comes across trying to be like everyone else.

    And it’s embarrassing.

  • Like Icare

    In her age one SHOULD pay special attention to one’s own hips.

    You don’t wanna break a hip when you’re old. It’s like a death sentence.

  • bleurgh

    I like him now.

  • tOmy`

    They’ve been all doing it for a while now. It’s that fucking shitty soon-to-be-buried EDM overtaking even this… star.

  • Mark Bisone

    She’s trying to stay hipster. Hippy? Happening? The Happening was a wonderful movie.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    The Rube Goldberg of music.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Luckily we know the cure for that, don’t we, Betty?

  • Like Icare

    “Sum of its awful parts” sounds like a good name for an album.

    Or a stew.

  • Domo

    I wish she would follow Annie Lennox’s lead. Wear a simple black dress, and really steal the show when she sings. No one even notices her age.

    But simplicity is just icky for someone like Madonna.

  • That name fits traditional Polish “flaki”. Or haggis.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tripe_soups

  • tOmy`

    Reminds me of:

    “Can someone explain me what people do at Adele concerts?”
    “You feel, bro. You feel.”

  • Like Icare

    Not everyone can afford them kitchen counters.

    Or transfusions of young teenage blood.

  • “Feel what, bro?”
    “Feel bored.”

  • Mark Bisone

    So are singing lessons, apparently. Lucky for her, there’s Autotune, so she can sound even more like a petulant 12 year-old.

  • Well at least Prince is not burning in hell like Bowie and those other heathens. Bowie is roasting nicely as we speak.

    #ILLALOWIT

  • Like Icare

    Damn peasants and their offal food.

  • tOmy`

    “Start fucking swearing or I am leaving my gf / mom here and going to that secret Limp Bizkit gig.”

  • Captain_Prickhard
  • #JEHOVASWITNESSISTHEWAYTOGO

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s one of those things you’re embarrassed about, so you get them at the supermarket and buy useless junk with it to cover up and make the album seem like an afterthought on top of your groceries.

  • Mark Bisone

    Colon Powell?

  • tOmy`

    “Is that an Adele album under the nudie mags, porn and women panties?”
    “Fuck, I should have hid it better.”

  • Like Icare

    He’ll be fine. He has an alibi.

  • Is it weird that I wanted the movie cops to shoot his ‘pretty’ face instead?

  • tOmy`

    Well, she started with all that edgy stuff, but now every pop queen is an edgy one, so it is hard to top that. Shit, we are really getting to the point when Miley is gonna be the most reasonable out of the bunch.

    #LickSomething

  • This was either to smart or to weird for me. Did not get the joke.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Guillermo Del Toro: “I loathe 2016.”

  • The artist formerly known as alive.

  • tOmy`

    “Genuinely shocked, saddened by the loss of talent unparalleled. Let his musical gifts heal us all today and forever. Thank you Prince”

    – DJ Shadow

  • Like Icare

    Who’ll watch the watchtower? Not me…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “No one, no one, no one like Prince.” Michael Keaton

  • tOmy`

    Let’s get real. Let’s wait for Kanye to comment.

  • Mark Bisone

    Jimmy Hendrix?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    shudder

  • Gary Colonman?

  • Like Icare
  • Mark Bisone

    Im’ma let you die, Prince! But first I gotta say that David Bowie had the best death of all time, yo!

  • BAM

  • Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all life.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Like Icare

    “For an exploiter of the working masses, he wasn’t a bad singer. I will miss him.” Fidel Castro

  • Captain_Prickhard

    “Rest in pieces, son!”

    -The Time

  • I bet that as soon as the body goes completely cold we’ll finally see all the unreleased music, videos and the documentary that no one saw.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LhcParuzpc

  • tOmy`

    “You know, I have to speak freely, I understand he was a great musician, but I am, frankly, worried about the impact on Christmas.”

    – Megyn Kelly

  • tOmy`

    I was just watching this. Eastern block thinks alike.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Duff (Guns & Roses): “What do we do now? PRINCE. No. I hope you weren’t in much pain…your music saved me time and again.”

  • I wish he’d try to outdo him and off himself the very minute he heard about that.

  • tOmy`

    Okay, I was just thinking about the same joke.

    This is getting kinda creepy.

  • Are we the same person?

  • tOmy`

    I hope so, that would mean I am in the band!!!!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “I wish I could have expressed stuck my love for in him before he left.” – James Franco

  • That would also mean you guys jacked each other off.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    and?

  • Oh, hi, Wifi!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Kevin Smith can make all the bad movies he want because these little Q&A and standup gigs of his are amazing.

  • It was the best handjob we ever got? Apart from the time when that girl gave it to us?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    To be fair, you’ve had the most practice.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Oh hai doggy! How’s your sex lyfe?

  • I never actually seen The Room.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Rising to 62/100 on metacritic?

    #B A N A N A S

  • Like Icare

    “Fucker stole my best songs. BURN IN HELL YOU FUCK!” – Frank Miller

  • tOmy`

    Exactly.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Bree Olson isn’t a very good actress but I found the movie to be fine.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Hmmmm, if she was a movie, we’d all love her!

  • TheManHole

    The deaths of others are the closet thing we have to content keep it up Death!

  • Like Icare

    Yeah… this day was such a drag – and then Prince dies and everyone is so full of vigor and energy!
    Particularly in comparison.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    NEXT WEEK. Tommy Wi hosting “The Room” at the Plaza Atlanta. Best $40 for tickets. I will finally see it for the first time the way it was meant to be seen.

  • bretweir

    Okay, I’m trying to start my Dolph Lundegrun fan page on Facebook… Any ideas on what the acronym D.O.L.P.H. should stand for?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    http://i.imgur.com/e2Vubjy.png?1 Easily the highlight of the video. What’s wrong with those two?!

  • I feel like the rush is over already. Quick, we need another celebrity death.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    ♪ How can you just leave me standing
    Alone in a world that’s so cold? ♪

  • junkevil

    Kelly, who does these comics, is a huge troll. I think that’s pretty much the joke of every one of his comics.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Seriously doubt that. He controlled his music with an iron fist. Unless he specifically allowed for it to happen in his will we will probably never hear or see any of it.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Please let it be the douche from maroon 5. Please let it be the douche from maroon 5. Please. Please. Please let it be the douche from maroon 5.

  • junkevil

    THIS IS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN PRINCE DIES

  • tOmy`

    One is into Friends, the other one is into Jamiroquai.

    I am glad I got to use the word Jamiroquai twice today. Ha, three times!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Third time’s a cheat.

  • Snake Squeezer
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “Jamir. OK?”
    “What?”
    “Jamir. OK?”
    “Are you asking me to come over there?”
    “Jamir. OK?”
    “Um, no. I’m good here. Thanks.”

    END SCENE

  • Snake Squeezer

    “Let me tell you, Prince made horrible deals. Horrible, horrible.. He didn’t even slather his estate in brass, ok?” – Donald Trump

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That’s not a hipster-ish T-shirt.

  • tOmy`

    Was Jamir hit by the Smooth Criminal?

  • Snake Squeezer

    No, no.. they NEED this, see? lol

  • Hey, if you got too much money on your hands you’re always welcome to send some to my bank account.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    That was Jamowen.

  • tOmy`

    Well, I am off to catch a few drinks. Allow me these parting words:

    “Nation Too Sad To Fuck Even Though It’s What Prince Would Have Wanted”

    http://www.theonion.com/article/nation-too-sad-fuck-even-though-its-what-prince-wo-52791?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing

  • Snake Squeezer

    Max Landis is handing out checks if you review his films positively…

  • Whaaaaaaaaaaat???????????????

  • WrongWithYourFace

    For a second there I thought you said T-shirts…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    ♪ Let’s pretend we’re married
    And go all night.
    There ain’t nothing wrong
    If it feels so right. ♪

  • Snake Squeezer

    Man, you and these t-shirts…

  • tOmy`

    Also:

    “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo”
    – Sasha Grey

    Damn, girl, something tells me this is the first time ever you said “No”, amirite guys?! Guys?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    She must’ve said ‘no’ when she quit her career in porn, no?

  • tOmy`

    TOO SOON, DUDE!

    Geeeez… all the time with this negativity.

  • Palpatine

    All I want now is an RLM commentary on Batman (1989) because it had Prince songs in it.

  • Now that was the last time I shed a tear.

  • TheManHole

    Which one?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen http://iv1.lisimg.com/image/1755681/720full-nukie-photo.jpg

  • tOmy`

    Google “birth video”.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Google Nukie. Now take that back, asshole.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Just scroll down and follow the link to that Madonna video.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Yeah, Africans are gross.

  • Palpatine

    Even more disturbing than the shit on G***g****h?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Probably

  • TheManHole

    That’s raciest against china men

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Now, he really is “The Purple One”. ;_;

  • Palpatine

    I can’t believe I had to bring up that site.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Angus Scrimm and Vanity. She was a new breed of temptress. She was never to young to die…

  • Damn dirty Japs!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    China men is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian American, please.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Dolph or lovelife. Please help.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That would be all too fitting because I just watched the bonus features for that movie, including Batdance by Prince, yesterday.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I wanna bust that body. Ooh, yeah.

  • Red Skeleton

    Well he’s still updating his Youtube page. OMG, is it like Tupac where they’re keeping him alive for years and years?

  • TheManHole

    What about Purple rain? Or his true swan song Showgirls.

  • Palpatine

    Yes! Showgirls commentary! Yes!

  • Tapeworm

    There is one more Jehova’s Witness knocking on the doors of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. You go crazy up there, Prince, but seriously, when doves cry, it’s just kinda annoying.

  • Gungan?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Coo, coo, coo, whimper, coo, coo.

  • Gunga!

  • Red Skeleton

    Her: “Prince died!”
    Me: “….. Charles?”
    Her: “The artist.”
    Me: Fuck!

    Anybody else have that conversation today?

  • With myself.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Me, Him, Her 2: Electric Boogaloo

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about your right hand?

  • Tapeworm

    Don’t talk like that about the love of my life.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Holy shit, I watched Batdance yesterday and Jehova’s Witnesses came knocking on my door that same day! Koinkidink? I think not.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean the picture of [insert sexy actress] that you c*m on?

  • Like Icare

    ’90s.
    Decades don’t just end when the calendar says they ended. They spill over.

  • Like Icare

    Nukie and the urban market?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Still, the other one looks intensely in the wrong direction, while the other looks the right way but can’t see shit!

  • Like Icare
  • Sasha, this is for you. https://youtu.be/4R8xTu68r54
    *wipes tears & cum*

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    JW’s actually believe that once dead, they lay in wait for JC to return…

  • Tapeworm

    I mean, granted, he is famous among us and definitely sexy, but tOmy ain’t no actress.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Cheerleading is an artform you philistine!

  • Like Icare
  • TheManHole

    My only regret as an atheist in life is I won’t be their to say I told you so.

  • TheManHole

    MOLLY: Where are you from?

    NOMI: (annoyed sigh) Back east.

    MOLLY: From where back east?

    NOMI: (tosses fries) Different places!

    A classic in every sense of the word.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Queen Elizabeth is 90 today. Tragically ironic day for Prince to die on.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That movie is the best worst movie to be released in theaters.

  • Palpatine

    His soul will keep her alive for anothet decade.

  • Tapeworm

    Aye. Wise words come to mind, usually attributed to Michelangelo, uttered soon before his death: “Dem bunz”

  • Phillyflopper

    HACK FRAUDS!!! xD

  • Phillyflopper

    Gungas!

  • Like Icare

    Speaking of irony… She’ll probably outlive Charles too.

    I can only imagine how much he hates those corgis of hers.
    Little fuckers get more attention and respect than he ever did.
    If mom kicks the bucket and he gets them alone he’ll show em.
    He’ll put his hands around their little necks and squeeze until all his problems disappear…
    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/76/ca/f7/76caf7f4a6e38308f1fd33eb9a66346e.jpg

  • WHAAAA?

  • TheManHole

    Well that got dark.

  • Phillyflopper

    OHHHHH MY GODDDDDDD!!!

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Nation Too Sad To Fuck Even Though It’s What Prince Would Have Wanted

    http://www.theonion.com/article/nation-too-sad-fuck-even-though-its-what-prince-wo-52791

  • Old news, damn it.

  • As dark as a man hole’s inside.

  • William Everett

    Masters of the Universe was filmed in Whittier, my home town. It isn’t really a small town. I think the population is about 100k, and it is actually just one section of greater Los Angeles. It does date back to the 19th century, and at that time was a well defined small town, but was swallowed up by the Los Angeles sprawl long ago. We did have an earthquake a few years after Masters of the Universe, but it didn’t destroy the town. It destroyed a lot of the old brick chimneys and damaged a number of buildings that had to be demolished, but most of Uptown Whittier (which I think is where Masters did their filming) is pretty much like it was.
    A number of movies have been filmed in Whittier, including a small independent movie by the name of Back to the Future. The part where the deLorean comes back at the end of the movie (going by an X-rated theater that is now a regular movie theater) is in Uptown Whittier.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Very informative

  • Palpatine

    Cool.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Dick Nixon’s hometown, right?

  • William Everett

    Yup. My parent’s house is a few blocks from the Pat Nixon memorial fountain.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the population of my entire county is about 100 k, so my no means is that a small town

  • Snake Squeezer
  • Old news, damn it.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Heh?

  • Eh!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was lying. Rule #1 The Doctor Lies…. if its funny.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Meh.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Damn dirty Sith’s selling death sticks to our kids! Won’t somebody think of the children?!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Que?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Bleh.

  • LOL! Never.

  • Hey, leave my mother out of this. This is just between you and me.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This is like bad fiction bad.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    nope. They woudn’t go ‘art house Jorge Lucas’ on us after two movies that play more safe then an Adam Sandler film.

  • Domo

    And me.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””Art house””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

  • Eh?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    If that is true i’m going to kill YOU!, because logic is clearly no longer a thing.
    EVERYTHING MAKES ME WISH I WAS DEAD!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    made in the garage of Lucas Ranch

    #personal films

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    *CGI tree house.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Don’t forget me!

    THE PATHETIC SEVEN

    COMING SOON

    TO A WEBZONE NEAR YOU

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Aye

  • “No gurlz aloud”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Qapla!

  • TheManHole

    Yeah there is no way this is real. It be like if they did a star wars movie for children that had a CGI cartoon rabbit in it and then followed that up with awkward *love* dialog and a 1950’s cafe all shot on blue screen.

    In all honesty it’s not even bad of a twist at this point star wars movies have gotten pretty predictable I mean common 3 death stars!? Also think of it this way they want to do a new star wars movie like every year for the next 100 years so why not have a *chosen one* theme you can just slap on every movies to explain why their special and you should care about them.

    Who knows maybe I’m just a cynic.

  • The Pathetic Seven don’t have success.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “I founded Pixar up on that branch”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why would Kathleen Kennedy want stuff to connect to the Prequels aside from that jab at the Clone Troopers?

  • TheManHole

    Maybe it’s not what he wants maybe it’s what Disney wants?

  • Isn’t it the 4th death star technically? I mean, if you count old Star Tours as canon.

  • Palpatine

    That’s not true! That’s impossible!

  • You’re behind it all!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Didn’t TFA already had prequel connections. Minor ones but connections nonetheless. And we all know what she wants. A Captain Phasma dildo.

    #greatest character of all time

    #feminism

    #a career defining role

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Search your feelings you-wait. Yeah there’s no way it’s real.

  • There was a small mention of the clone troopers. And they had Ewan McDonald speak a line for Rey’s force vision.

  • TheManHole

    I hope we get to see the Emperor in rogue one screw Vader.

    #Monster Mash

  • Mark Bisone

    Why did it have to be He-Man? Couldn’t it be He-Woman?

    At the very least, it could have given us a compelling and transgressive bathroom scene featuring Dolphin Lungsman.

  • Palpatine

    I just got the film on Blu-Ray, so I’ll check.

  • Unlimited REHASH!!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why would Disney want that? Prequels= no one likes any more = no money.

  • Palpatine

    But remember She-Ra?

  • TheManHole

    In all honesty I don’t think it’s real but at the same time at this point with what the star wars franchise has been through and become I wouldn’t be surprised.

  • Mark Bisone

    Maybe. Wasn’t that a Wham song?

  • The kids still love them.
    -Source: My nephews

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ewan McDonald was the only good thing in the Prequels. I would mind him showing up again.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Did your nephews drink water from Flint, Michigan?

  • Disney talked with him about the possibility of an Obi-Wan spin off. I’d like that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That sounds boring. Just let him be a force ghost and say “Hi, Rey! It’s me Grandapa Obi!

  • TheManHole

    I’m a little surprised we have not gotten a Dearth Vader spin off yet. You don’t even need James Earl Joan’s in the suit.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    don’t forget teenagers,man children and SW fanboys. TBH prequels got lots of fans.

  • A spin-off about the main character of the previous 6 movies? ;P

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Also known as people who inhale lead paint.

  • Everyone basically. AND YOU TOO! *points at your noes*

  • TheManHole

    We have that award time in between movies that Lucas didn’t even get the chance to completely ruin.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Now I Get It

    The man was born to journey through fame.

  • Percy Gryce

    Kevin Smith, you creepy bastard, I read your book.

  • Now I Get It

    I’ve price-tracked it, but it’s never been cheap enough for me.

  • Percy Gryce

    Paul Hogan doing an Asian accent: “She’s a fine rookin’ She-ra.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why am I the only one who thinks an Obi Wan spin off movie would be boring? He just sat in a desert for years and possibly had a child possibly leading to Rey. That sounds boring. At least give him some Direct TV Satellite dishes attached to his speeder.

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s below $2 on Amazon.

    Oh, I get it. You were doing, like, a thing.

  • Mark Bisone

    Sweet little She-Ra, you’ll know her if you see her

    Blue eyes and a ponytail

    Her cheeks are rosy, she looks a little nosey

    Man, this little girl has the Power of Grayskull.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Choose The Force. Choose a lightsaber. Choose a temple. Choose a padawan. Choose a fucking big robe, choose washing machines, speed bikes, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life… But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got heroin?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • tl;dr

  • Wizard Phoenix

    IT’S SHIT BEING SCOTTISH!

  • I’d like to see a series in the spirit of Dr. House set in the Emporer Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center.

  • SPAAAAACE AAAAAAIIIIIIDSSSSS!!!

  • Up voted for number of characters. Gotta be something important, but I’ll never know.

  • Percy Gryce

    I do some of my best thinking in the shower or, what the French call, la douche. This morning in the shower I was hit by a wave of nostalgia for the RLM New Year’s Stream-a-thon. I hope the boys bring that back this year.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I woudn’t mind that at all.

    http://i.imgur.com/YhQSY0q.gif

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Isn’t Doctor House Doctor Strange now?

  • Percy Gryce

    No, KHHAAANNNN is Doctor Strange.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sssssmmmmmuuuuuuuuuggggg

  • No khan do!

  • Percy Gryce

    Dr. House is fighting Loki:

    http://www.amc.com/shows/the-night-manager

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Loki is now fighting King Kong!

  • Mark Bisone

    The English are just wankers. They, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m so glad this movie is getting a sequel.

  • Palpatine

    No, you’re not.

  • Your puns have sheen better days.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    actually we had our very own stream-a-thon in the manhole last year.

    WE ARE THE CONTENT

  • Mark Bisone

    “Doctor Strange” was my first porn star alias.

  • *CONMEN

  • Mark Bisone

    *CONDIMENTS

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It would be a lot like Double Down the more I think about it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is mayonnaise an instrument?

  • Percy Gryce

    Today is Elaine May’s birthday. That’s what made me think of the Stream-a-thon.

  • Percy Gryce

    *Ointment.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Horse radish isn’t an instrument either.

  • Mark Bisone

    Horse Ninja is an instrument… of destruction.

  • Domo

    The Weber Cooks MasterChef’s birthday is in May.

    Don’t forget to put it on your calendar. We celebrate for the whole month!

  • Percy Gryce

    Oooooo, ooooo, Horse Nin-ja!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    F is for fire that burns down the whole town.

  • Sully
  • dollar store cashier wife

    Do they celebrate birthday’s in prison?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’M ON A HIGHWAY TO HELL!

  • Mark Bisone

    I couldn’t afford to buy a good calendar this year. It’s missing May, August and the third weekend of October. Can’t you just remind me on Twitter or something?

  • Sully

    ✌ celebrate ✌

  • Percy Gryce

    What if I don’t want to be the content? What if I just want to log in occasionally and make sarcastic remarks and then leave like the wind?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    With a shank.

  • Mark Bisone

    This sounds extremely similar to how you conduct yourself right now.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Well then you’re shit out of luck. Space Cop is done but the rate of new content isn’t getting any better. We are in the darkest timeline.

  • Percy Gryce

    If you have to ask . . .

    Of course, it’s never too soon!

  • RLMkeepitup

    well people start slowin down around 40ish. there are exceptions, as I’m 102

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So Prince is dead much like his career.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    That is way too late.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    due to DMCA’s that will never happen again.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why didn’t God choose Madonna or Chad Kroger?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    *lubricant.

  • Sully

    I was on the way home with my wife earlier and ‘When Doves Cry’ came on the radio. The first lyric of that song is, of course, “Dig if you will…” and I decided to finish it with “My grave.”
    After slapping at me a bunch, which, I might add, is extremely dangerous whilst driving, she finally began to laugh. I knew at that moment it was RLM material.

  • RLMkeepitup

    his cd sales are about to bump up though

  • Sully

    He has better tastes?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You are lying! no actual FM station played that.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Hopefully.

  • Mark Bisone

    If lubricant, than nobody can.

  • Sully

    They were actually playing a block of his music. It was a decent ride home. Not a single Taylor Swift song.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Oh americans are doing a thing… laters.

  • Now I Get It

    I used to do curling porn under the screen name “Skip Stones”.

    …Oh, fuck me, I posted that ages ago.

  • Sully
  • Percy Gryce

    Exactly. The style of my commenting should be very similar to the original because I don’t like things that are different.

  • Percy Gryce
  • Percy Gryce

    As I commented on one of the early Stream-a-thons:

    DMCA, the worst thing ever made by a human.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    nope. Jay didn’t do the stream cause people recording his Isthar remix hurt his feelings.

  • Now I Get It

    Yes, outing myself as a fucking cheapskate.

    P.S. ~All comedy manifestos, biographies, and autobiographies in hardcover drop to a penny soon after the paperback comes out, excepting…

  • Imperial_orb

    Remember in the old Cartoon Show, when it was time for He-Man to lift something? Every fucking episode, he needed to pick up something heavy, and then he made the same three groans. MMMh… MMMh.. MmmmMMH!

  • He’s an artist, you heretic! DAMN IT! HES ON PAR WITH LYNCH! DIDN U WATCH HIS VLOG? DAMN IT RAAAAAH *smashes table*

  • Invasion?

  • Mark Bisone

    Imagine how embarrassing it would be to get sued by the makers of “Old Man” or “Blood Shack.”

  • Imperial_orb

    Mer-Man’s voice actor was a talented person though.
    Much respect.

  • Sully

    *✌ diplomacy ✌

  • Aggressive negotiations?

  • Gotta build up that tension.

  • Sully

    …Negotiations with a lightsaber.

  • Palpatine

    That’s not the only time he groans like that.

  • Mark Bisone
  • Mark Bisone

    I agree. It’s extremely difficult to say, “I’ll get you next time, He-Man,” while gargling semen. Don’t ask me how I know.

  • Mike Magnum

    Suicide Squad Reshoot Trailer

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frkAVJgcSaM

  • Snake Squeezer

    “It puts you in control of a group of teenagers that moonlight as
    supernatural cat burglars to explore The Palace, an otherworldly castle
    created from the warped desires in people’s hearts.”

    Just thought I’d share the funniest thing I’ve read today.

  • Snake Squeezer

    We do all the things, you great beautiful island of exiled British degenerates.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Wasn’t there a legit theory out there about him being gay?

  • First comment under this video:
    “Why does everybody hate on Hayden and the prequels so much? Star Wars fans need to have a sit down and marathon the whole series in release order and then re-evaluate their opinions.”
    Bitch, please.

  • Sully

    YOU BEAT ME TO IT!!!

  • I HAVE THE GAY POWERRRRR!!!!

  • Please do a Tremors commentary.

  • Sully

    YOU GO AHEAD AND KEEP THAT… er… WITH YOU BAD SELF?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Hilarious! But I thought there was a real theory from acadamia.

  • Sully

    I’d rather hear a commentary on My Science Project or Gotcha.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    The fact that it claims the return of Christensen proves it’s fake. Disney would never recast the most hated actor from the prequels.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The most hated actor is a crazy person now.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Christensen? I honestly have no clue how his career is doing. Last I heard he was in that movie jumper or leaper or something. Or were you referring to Jake Lloyd?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Real Genius!

  • Sully

    The popcorn scene in that movie is one of my favorite things ever.

  • Snake Squeezer

    And a not completely hateable Val Kilmer! Witchcraft!

  • Sully
  • Like Icare

    Re-evaluate?

    But what is a negative score gonna accomplish that a low score doesn’t do already?

    Granted… prequels might get some extra points after TFA came out… but then again… that’s like Disney Star Wars.
    Like Disney Pirates of the Caribbean.

    I.e. Pirates/Star Wars in brand and name only.

  • Like Icare

    His what sales? Those things people used to hang over the rearview mirror?

  • Like Icare

    On par with Lynch? Really?
    Didn’t know they were both golfers.

  • Like Icare

    Well… he does go insane at one point and imagines he’s god.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR1uQwAXQ8Y

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Remember that Colonel from Avatar? I love him.

  • Like Icare

    It completely misses the “5 minutes to the end moment of brilliance”.

    Unsubscribed. Would not fuck again.

  • NicCagesHair

    Did we finally invade Canada? I’m so close to the border, I’ll have to grab my pitchfork and join the next wave.

  • NicCagesHair

    I’m sure Jesus is in there somewhere. Or maybe he is the Witness.

  • Sully

    So why don’t you marry him?!

  • Mark Bisone

    I’m pretty sure Canada’s weakness is holy water. Australians, meanwhile, requires silver bullets dipped in Foster’s beer.

  • Like Icare

    That’s so ceta-gendered. He’s a porpoise, not a dolphin.

    #CheckYourAquaticMammals #DoplhinsAreRapists #AquaticPatriarchy

  • Palpatine

    Oh, you mean the streotypical evil white guy that’s in every movie like Avatar? Yeah, he was great.

  • NicCagesHair

    Foster’s will kill anything.

    Now I have to go find a priest to bless my pitchfork.

  • Like Icare

    Waaaaaaaaaaaaaay to retarded and Matrixy to be real.

  • NicCagesHair

    The only thing he was missing was a mustache to twirl.

  • Like Icare

    He’s just been chosen to be featured on a $20 bill.
    So I guess he has no cash issues.

  • tOmy`

    This is a fucking sad day. I wanted to post my music watch today, but I ain’t gonna. I am not the biggest fan, but as a cheerleader who loves music… no no, please, no no. No!

    We just… need these people. (I am sorry for repeating the topic)

  • NicCagesHair

    Look up the Carlos Boozer/Prince story. It will make you feel better.

  • tOmy`

    If that’s one of them “feels” things…

    Well, to be honest, I screamed at my screen in denial for Vonnegut and Pratchett. I don’t want something to make me repeat it. (I mean it in a good way)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Now, if you excuse I have some damsels to tie to some traintracks”
    -Rifftrax Avatar

  • Palpatine

    ‘Tis a sad day.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t love him like I love Karen O.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    My favorite Prince song was Beat It from his album Day at The Races. I loved Space Oddity too.

  • Palpatine

    Maz Kanata: “I am no Jedi, but I know the Force.”

    Wait, does that mean she wasn’t taken from her parents by the Jedi to be in a cult?

  • OMNI

    I find the best way to enjoy the commentary tracks by RLM is to watch the movie first and then watch it a second time with the commentary track. It’s astounding how much pertinent info the guys leave out of the commentaries..

  • OMNI

    Iggy loves to be naked

  • Like Icare

    He ain’t stereotypical. He’s prototypical.

    Lang was the original Colonel Nathan Jessup in the Broadway version of A Few Good Men.
    In this universe there are walls…

  • OMNI

    She-Ra Dude, She-Ra….

  • “Glad you’re dead!”

    -Joker

    https://youtu.be/9Lx_x0rTh3c?t=1m2s

  • Palpatine

    Are you glad about anyone else’s death?

  • Like Icare

    Wasn’t Lukas Haas the witness?
    No… wait… those are Amish, not JWs.

  • Mark Bisone

    I’m kinda glad you’re dead, Palpy. Otherwise “Return of the Jedi” would have been pretty anticlimactic.

  • Palpatine

    I’m glad I’m dead too. I honestly don’t mind being a ghost.

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s probably just that time of year. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming, Andrew gets banned, etc.

  • Mark Bisone

    How come you bad guys don’t get to be asshole ghosts afterward? It seems like 90% of the ghosts I’ve met are old, mean assholes.

  • Palpatine

    Ghost rules are hard to explain.

  • Lazy

    It’s so weird listening to these guys talk about toys as someone who grew up with no interest in any of that shit. Like Rich talking about how he had He-Man toys before there was a cartoon and he was disappointed in the cartoon, I just can’t empathize with that at all. It’s like a whole other world I was totally disconnected from.

  • Well no. I just wanted to push a few buttons. Stoklasa style. I really liked his music. Specially the funky tunes.

  • Palpatine

    I know you’re just messing around.

    #StoklasaStyle.

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s even weirder watching them simulate coitus with those toys.

    But I think they’re wonderful.

    3-2-3-4-4-2-3 and…

  • But Bowie though. O’boy, now there’s a dead guy I can root for. Still looking forward to dancing on his grave. It’s gonna be great.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe if it was Jimmy Fallon

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is there anyone who want to be dead, Boss? Are they named Jimmy Fallon?

  • Palpatine

    Just watched the deleted scenes for The Force Awakens. I’m kinda glad they were deleted.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Not a big deleted scenes guy. How bad were they?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *skost

  • Palpatine

    Not bad. Just unesscessary.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I found the part when Kylo and Poe sang a song to be rather pointless.

  • Popo Bawa

    The dis was not that they were toys, but that they were lame toys. To each their own, though. I thought that they were crap toys, made into a worse cartoon, and then a yet worse movie.

    Then again there are probably some people who would think that it was gay that I used to rub the glowing E.T. finger up my ass.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Brooks was here.

  • GodSentUs

    The Lizard guys action figure was awesome. You rubbed his back and his mouth spit sparks out.

  • GodSentUs

    What scenes? Its like 4 minutes of crap.

  • GodSentUs

    Cool story. Why don’t you make your own review site and talk about it so we can give a damn?

  • Jerome Gorden

    Never insult a guy’s mother…

  • Jerome Gorden

    “Jesus [in] 2016 is fucking merciless”

    hehe

  • Duckler

    I had that one. I made him a cape, and he looked ten times more badass.

  • GodSentUs

    Banned for being unfunny.

  • GodSentUs

    I think I had the blade guy too. His swords were all rubbery and fell over.

  • Palpatine

    I had a couple of He-Man toys from the 2002 cartoon series that no one remembers.

  • GodSentUs

    I had like 80 loose figures in my parents basement. I sold them to some guy in Ohio for 600 bucks a few years back.

  • Crixxxx

    Brief snippets of nothing. The only semi-interesting one was an unfinished speeder chase on the snow base.

  • Palpatine

    Maybe it was Rich Evans friend who was in that Wendy’s ad as a kid. Now he can put them on the shelf with his Warhammer figurines.

  • Crixxxx

    At least this movie got a pretty cool Drew Struzan poster, if nothing else: http://www.cgchannel.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/drew-struzan-19.jpg

    Struzan paints Skeletor as he should’ve looked in the movie rather than Frank Langella with baked Alaska covering his face…

  • Star Wars is unnecessary.

  • They are probably worth a billion today. He robbed you.

  • GodSentUs

    nah. they were all loose and in fair shape.

  • GodSentUs

    Somewhat informative.

  • SUPERMAD

    He-man’s sword and Skeletor’s sword could squoosh together to combine the Power Sword. Which was a concept so awesome it was never even included in the cartoon. So Fuck You, Susan.

  • SUPERMAD

    As long as Gallagher lives, I smile.

  • Well, white people in general. Jimmy is white so yea. I’d laugh if he “fell over his late night show desk” if u know what I mean el’oel.

  • tOmy`

    There is a part of me that is afraid of using that cheeky cunty “N-word”, but hey:

    Noel?

  • tOmy`

    Just like Omie.

  • tOmy`

    The script was clearly written by a 12yo.

    Still better than 8yo.

  • tOmy`

    You might think that losing Prince is bad, but what about losing the prince of Australia?

    We can’t take this many bad news, RLM, give us some room to breath, for god sake!

    #PrayForAndy #KangarooLivesMatter

  • tOmy`

    Under all that babyfrog fat, under all that excess saliva, there still lies a human, beating, very, very racist heart.

    And this is why we lick you.

    I mean love you.

  • tOmy`

    “MTV wants to bring back the music, starting with a reboot of Unplugged”

    The world has officially gone mad.

  • What did I miss? King of what now?

  • Embodied

    Yeah! Kangaroos are awesome! What’s wrong with Andy?

  • tOmy`

    The legend says his account has been taken to the farm where all the other happy accounts live.

  • You damn dirty boss!

  • #TheCircleOfLyfe #ItSucks

  • He got banned?

  • As it is always with Andrew. He will be reborn. I can feel it.

    In my loins.

  • Huh?

  • In reality his account was taken behind the barn and put down. Like old Yella.

  • I’d build a wonderwall NOT to hear his music ever again.

  • Sorry, I get angry when I see fish, but no soy sauce.

  • He’s a space amphibian, you ignoramus!

  • Joe Syxpac

    Or Kurt Cobain.

  • Didn’t they already do a few unplugged shows in recent years?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    My life fades. The vision dims. All that remains are memories. I remember a time of chaos… ruined dreams… this wasted webzone. But most of all, I remember The Road Warrior. The man we called “Andrew.” To understand who he was, you have to go back to another time… when the webzone was powered by real content…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    AMEN!

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Embodied

    a Darth Vader “Nooooooooooooo”

  • Earth

    Everyone is dead.

  • “You have been – and always shall be – our sex weirdo.”

  • Sully

    Only on the inside.

  • Sully

    Alright… what did I miss now?

    http://i.imgur.com/lUIlU4l.gif

  • Sully

    BUT HE HAD A BATTLE DAMAGE CHEST!! A BATTLE DAMAGE CHEST!! AND A GREEN TIGER… THAT HE RODE!!!! AND HE HAD POWERS FROM A CASTLE… AND… AND THEY WERE THE BEST POWERS!!!

  • First you hiu-maans talk about love and affection the next minute you commercialize the hell out of it and after that you form self help groups to escape roles, norms, pressure and confusion. WHAT THE H*LL IS WRONG WITH YOU? Who do I kill first when my intergalactic fleet arrives?

    #answers

  • AIDS, AIDS and more AIDS. Then some 9/11 and groin cancer. Oh, and Andy got stabbed in the back by disqus skosts. But like the mighty koala, he’ll be back.

  • Sully

    I see the word “AIDS”, but what does the rest of that shit mean?

  • Andy broke the law and got banned. I have no details. The other freaks at this web zone might fill you in. By freaks I mean hosers and filth.

  • Tapeworm

    I’m Andrew Thompson!

  • Captain_Prickhard

    The description of a book about Mattel’s He-Man toy franchise:
    “…the Masters of the Universe toy line, its rise to immense popularity and then dizzying crash in which profits fell from a peak of $400 million in United States sales alone in 1986 to a mere $7 million in 1987.”

  • Captain_Prickhard

    I am Andrew!

  • I’m also Andrew!

    *single tear*

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-nBHiDys1U

  • NOT! andrew thompson
  • Sully

    YAY!!

  • Tapeworm

    And also, we’re all gay. Deal with THAT!

  • Sully

    Okay… that’s already too many Andrews.

  • Sully

    Knock it off.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I BROKE THE DAM

  • Come back with me!

  • The flood gates have opened?

  • Sully

    I’m not getting in your windowless van, Nass. Ooh! Is that candy?!

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    your still here so… no.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    HIS NAME WAS ROBERT PAULSON

  • Why yes my furry friend. It does not stick to your coat and it’s all you can eat.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    I bring a message from your master Optimus Richius Evansus , commander of Milwaukee. By command of His Most Merciful Excellency, your accounts are to be spared. Cynics you were and cynics you remain. But the terrible penalty of banning has been set aside on the single condition that you identify the body or the living person of the fan called Andrew.

  • Imperial_orb

    I watched the Stream-a-thon once. It was magic.They showed a singing bit of one of the newer Alvin and the Chipmunks movies, which got them banned from Twitch fairly quickly.

  • Imperial_orb

    Uh, someone doesn’t believe in life after love apparently.

  • Imperial_orb

    To Each His Own.

  • Andrew?
    Andrew.

  • Imperial_orb

    Party people, say it now, yeah yeah yeah yeah!
    Somebody holler if you wanna party.

  • Like Icare
  • tOmy`

    That lead me to Googling Andrew Thompson and one of the first results is someone working in a “physical oceanography”.

    What the fuck is that? Do you get physical with the ocean?

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Yes….

  • Fartastic

    In some countries, the symbolic banning of Thompson and the creation of a new account is a tradition. Representing death and rebirth, it marks the end of winter and the beginning of spring when people can finally leave their houses instead of having to sit in front of a computer all day.

  • tOmy`

    The phoenix metaphor works really well here, considering that the Australia is basically one big bowl of ash.

  • Fartastic

    Hey, don’t you dare talk like that about Australia! It really is more like a big plate of ash.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    It is really flat…. Reeeeeeally flat.

  • Fartastic

    Australia or my joke?

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Australia… wait that was a joke?

  • Fartastic

    Since I don’t actually know anything about Australia, everything I say will either be a joke or a lie.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Its big and flat… and everything wants you dead.

  • So, who’s gonna get banned next? I need my internet gossip/entertainment.

  • Andrew?

  • Like Icare

    Speaking of action dolls of yesteryear…
    Is this nostalgia-cash-grab gay-looking intentionally or purely by accident?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrzSP61WiRk

  • TheManHole

    Wait who got ban was it me?

  • tOmy`

    We can’t hear you.

    I think you got banned.

  • TheManHole

    God damn it Not Andrew what didn’t you do this time?!!?

  • tOmy`

    All the dying and banning won’t stop the cogs of music industry spinning till the moment we are all banned, so hey, guess it’s time for Music Watch, kapow!

    PJ Harvey – The Hope Six Demolition Project
    It took us 5 years and a single that managed to piss off half of the USofA, but we can finally insert our collective penis into the hole in the middle of PJ’s 11th album. Head-turning controversy aside, this album faced one more major problem: It is a followup to Let England Shake, album I love so much I had to rebrand it with a word “shag”, eventually calling it Shag Shag Shag.
    I am pleased to say that while the MBE’s new addition into a lengthy discography doesn’t make the England shake, all the fish and chips are still in the place and it at least made America shake their fists. It’s dirty, catchy and solid, just as we all hoped it would be. 8/10

    Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros – PersonA
    As the name suggests, Magnetic Zeros are ditching the faux personA of Edward Sharpe and getting real. But that also means ditching the element I loved. You see, these dirty hippies once released Home, song so bewitchingly catchy that it was featured in every other summer video that year, furthermore proving that we as species won’t make it.
    But the song also featured a lot of funny and self-aware moments, that were palpable throughout the whole album. Even though you can find similar moments on this album, it is much more grown-up and focused. It doesn’t wear the “alternative” label fragilely, like a flower in a gun, but rather in a very strict fashion, like a smack with a baton. So while the quality is definitely there, some of the shenanigans are forever lost, just like the Vietnam war. Ergo my score might be a bit dodgy, because it is a great album, but I would love something slightly different. 7.9/10

  • Yeah, what a stupid question.

  • Palpatine

    What happened?

  • Sully
  • Sully

    I’ll allow it… as a temporary explanation.

  • TheManHole

    It turns out Andrew was secretly Prince the who time! So after Prince’s untimely demise yesterday his lawyers made a demand to shut down all his social media presence.

  • I’m Mott, er,…I’m the barber

    Terrible news, everyone!
    Captain Prickhard was BANNED!

  • RLMkeepitup

    looks like it would be harmless as a kid tv show

  • RLMkeepitup

    thiswas your 666th comment as well

  • tOmy`

    Someone gunned down 7 people in Ohio. Which is almost as surprising as Andy getting banned.

  • Sully

    Don’t comment again, or the moment will be lost.

  • TheManHole

    They ban the whole TNG cast and for good reason have you seen Nemesis!?!?! Captain PrickFraud should be happy he’s not in jail for being a murdering psycho.

  • Palpatine
  • TheManHole

    *Unsurprising

    Fixed it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    don’t act so surprised, your highness

  • Sully

    Almost as inevitable as a failed Death Star, wouldn’t you agree… Palpatine?

  • Maybe

    Pa was banned too. For whatever reason. Probably somebody at RLM is a Cruz delegate. Anyway, since I, um, he doesn’t like going places where he’s not welcome, he, um, I say(s) sayonara. Peace to you all. Be excellent to each other. Marvel movies are the worst thing cinema has ever come up with. You can come on my lawn, I guess. Prince is dead, long live Prince.

  • Earth

    Yeah, nobody’s gonna fall on their sword for Andrew.

  • RLMkeepitup

    you guys are welcome , don’t go too far!

  • They tried to lure Andrew into the lead works to kill him but he outsmarted them all and now he’s rampaging allover Fury 161. We are all going to die.

  • tOmy`

    Oh come on, we just got you back. You are an integral piece of this puzzle. Sure, not exactly the corner piece, more of a sometimes annoying sky piece, but without you, there wouldn’t be a place to have a rainbow… on.

    Uhm.

    What?

  • TheManHole

    We are going to need to take attendance soon to see who’s left after the rapture.

  • Maybe

    P.S. I had to rigger-jig an work account to let you know, and now I’mma gonna delete that before I set a match to a firewall or something. Sose, sees ya, or not.

  • TheManHole

    I’d fall on Andrews sword.

  • What is going on around here? Skosts?

  • GodSentUs

    Somebody has to bang your mom.

  • Palpatine

    I have no idea what’s going on. Wait, am I banned?

  • TheManHole

    Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a Hack Fraud to answer any of our questions.

  • So, uh. Did anybody enjoy the commentary track? I’m sure Dolph Gungan did. People needed to know about that Kindergarten Cop sequel. I’m sure the mention in this commentary must have surely bolstered the number of torrent downloads sales by at least 3.

  • TheManHole

    It help if the movie they where commenting on was not so painfully boring to watch.

  • Palpatine

    I saw the trailer for that. It looks terrible.

  • RLMkeepitup

    did they ask arnold but he was contractually obligated to those mobile war game ads

  • If Arnold was in it the movie would be titled Nursing Home Cop.

  • Pippin

    I enjoyed it, mostly because I enjoy the moobie itself. There are just so many layers of bad to it, that it’s always great to hear more perspectives of just how far that hole goes.

  • RLMkeepitup

    looks like he’s doing commentary tracks too now http://bgr.com/2016/04/21/force-awakens-schwarzenegger-commentary/

  • Sully

    Phuq da police!!!

    http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/knightsanddragons/images/0/01/Gangsta_fox.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140120004807

    Pound Sign: TheTerroristsHaveAlreadyWon
    Pound Sign: ModifyTHAT

  • SWAG. Is that you on Palpy’s mantelpiece?
    #YOLO

  • Amazing.
    “It’s LUKE SOLO!”
    “Holy shit! He wants the LIGHTSAVER.”

  • Imperial_orb

    So weird! What do you have to do to get banned from here?
    Also I didn’t know someone from RLM is reading the comments…
    this is amzing.

  • Sully

    No secret there, Maggit. We knew you were gay.

  • Imperial_orb

    I think it is written DeL’Oréal.

  • Like Icare

    Wait… That wasn’t a dream?

  • Imperial_orb

    I also heard he likes Star Wars.

  • Like Icare

    Fuckin scientologist scum.

  • Like Icare
  • Mark Bisone

    I just took a gander at some of those old He-Man toys. What the Hell kind of planet was Eternia to produce these freaks? Was it just one non-stop Caligulean orgy of body builders fucking skunks and snakes and two-headed bears?

  • Sully

    I’ve seen worse. About 20 years ago I saw the aftermath of a logging truck that had t-boned a semi carrying dozens of pigs.
    There was about a 1/2 mile of highway was stained red… and chunky for about a month. Unfortunately it was a summer month.

  • Sully

    With great castle powers comes great genetic irresponsibility.

  • Red Skeleton

    So they’ve begun the autopsy on the cadaver formerly known as the artist formerly known as The Artist Formerly Known As Prince. What do you think they’ll find? Is another high profile celebrity-doctor trial in the works?

  • Palpatine

    Seems like it.

  • Sully

    Glitter… and lots of purple.

  • Red Skeleton

    Wouldn’t it be funny if Prince’s death was all a stunt for Fargo 2?

  • Mark Bisone

    The Eternean Genome Project must be a massive drain on their resources. That money would be far better spent on skeleton removal.

  • Sully

    I was listening to Kevin Smith’s story about the time Prince hired him to film a doc on one of his albums, and apparently Prince has a shit ton of unreleased songs and music videos that he created over the years and tucked away in some vault on his estate.
    I wonder if that material was created for the purpose of timed release in the event of his death?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RW7daZ0ptrk

  • tOmy`

    Drugs.

    Apparently, they treated him for OD like a week ago.

  • Sully

    I find it interesting that women complain about the impossible standards of Barbie. It’s like, “Bitch! Have you seen He-Man?”

    http://vintageactionfigures.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/motu-he-man-1982-mattel-loose-front.jpg

  • Mark Bisone

    Yeah. These motherfuckers were rocking 16-packs.

  • Sully

    Wasn’t he epileptic, too? Flu, drugs, epilepsy. I guess we’ll see.

  • The difference is nobody wants to fuck He-Man. Not even buff dudes from LA. They only like coming to the gym. Or in the gym? I’m confused. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nZ1v96-veM

  • Sully

    …and chronic lower back pain.

  • Sully

    Rule 34 says otherwise.

  • Mark Bisone

    It doesn’t help that their legs are made entirely out of balloon animals.

  • Sully

    At least he has good dental. And his eyebrow game is on point, gurl!

  • Mark Bisone

    Good point. Make you wonder if the carpet matches the drapes.

  • Like Icare

    I heard he was a midget.

  • Sully

    Are, too. ‘D’ also.

  • Like Icare

    Post-nuclear war kind.

    No wonder most if it is deserts.

  • Sully

    *Hobbit.
    He was small, but proportionate.

  • Mark Bisone

    I hate sand. It’s coarse and rough, and it spawns radioactive bee-men everywhere.

  • What’s wrong with your face?

  • Sully

    No it doesn’t, but as long as it’s not as “carpeted” as those draws. Holla!

  • Mark Bisone

    He-Man is definitely the bikini waxing type. Can’t go clubbin’ if he be shrubbin’.

  • DERP!

  • Cream.

  • Palpatine

    We prefer to be called “height challenged”.

  • tOmy`

    You know, these commentary tracks, toy commercials, instigating copyright infringements and setting up extended universes is all fine and dandy, but I feel like you hacks still owe me couple of answers:

    – If you traveled back in time, where are Mike and Jay clones?
    – Who hired that fuck Rich Ivens? Who is running Lightning Fast if not you two?
    – Where the fuck is Jessi?
    – When is the new Radiohead album coming out? Is it in the same decade as Plinkett review?
    – How does Jack fit into all of this?
    – When is the new Wheel of The Worst?
    – Who shot JFK? Was it me?

    If you know answer to any of these questions, post a comment on this webzone and someone will most likely upvote and / or ban you.

  • tOmy`

    Look at that tiny wiener.

  • Palpatine

    What was the black goo?

  • At least that part’s realistically scaled.

  • It’s the up vote you deserve, but not the one you need right now.

  • tOmy`

    Why does it pee when I burn?

  • Palpatine

    I’ve been asking myself that for years now.

  • tOmy`

    “Independence Day 2: Resurgence: New trailer sees an entire city dropped on London”

    Where is your god now?

  • tOmy`

    How do I stop girls from constantly coming?

    Oh, sorry, I meant leaving.

  • Finally an action movie worth my time.

  • Sully

    “You’re just being lazy. GROW UP!!”

    From the archives of ‘The Father of the Year Journals

  • Palpatine

    Who doesn’t want to do that?!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Those He-Man toys never stood up on there own.

  • RLMkeepitup

    person from making of Alien “I want to know where the space jokey comes from.” …. No, no you don’t

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This movie will suck ass. I predict 33%.

  • Like Icare

    – Who hired that fuck Rich Ivens? Who is running Lightning Fast if not you two?
    It’s all explained right there in the video.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=VGsrMaxx8N4#t=126
    They are after all, back in time.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1C7UCMmF5g

    – Who shot JFK?
    This explains it all.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVIAdJetTb8

  • Mark Bisone

    That person was so wrong.

  • Sully

    They did when they were new, but once those cheap socket bands stretched out, yeah… and being top heavy didn’t help.

  • Sully

    50%

  • Wizard Phoenix

    When the first two reviews come out.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • junkevil

    Hey, It’s one of the few movies that I’ll probably go see in theaters this year. It honestly doesn’t look as bad as I thought it would, and it’s nice to see Jeff Goldblum getting a paycheck again.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    ” It honestly doesn’t look as bad as I thought it would” Yeah I know. It looks worse.

  • Tapeworm

    “Hey, there actually are worse options than me. Keep that in mind.”

    Then make a big lunch so she feels tired. Worked for almost 9 years so far.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Good to know Armond White!

  • junkevil

    Eh, It’s not like the original is some sort of cinematic masterpiece. It was always schlock.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So Mad Max wasn’t worth your time? Force Awakens wasn’t worth your time? Do you only like these movies because of the macho man bullshit?! YOU’RE TRIGGERING ME, YOU SEXIST MOTHER FUCKER!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Did you put roofies in those lunches?

  • Tapeworm

    You don’t need to do that with czech cuisine.

  • RLMkeepitup

    almost a JP quote

  • Palpatine

    Needs more “uh’s” though.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But it wasn’t good schlock. It was lame schlock intermixed with some cringe worthy scenes, like the fucking speech and the entire world reacting to America’s awesome plan.

  • Uhm, I enjoyed TFA and still do after my 2nd viewing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I can’t mumble in a comment

  • Excuséz-moi?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ¿Qué carajo acabas de mierda dices de mí, pequeña perra? Voy a tener que sabes que me gradué parte superior de mi clase en los Navy Seals, y he estado involucrado en numerosas incursiones secretas sobre Al-Qaeda, y tengo más de 300 muertes confirmadas. Estoy capacitado en la guerra gorila y yo soy el francotirador superior en todas las fuerzas armadas de Estados Unidos. No eres nada para mí, pero sólo otro objetivo. Yo limpiaré usted a la mierda con la precisión de la talla de la que nunca se ha visto antes en esta tierra, recuerda mis palabras malditas. ¿Crees que puedes salir a decir que una mierda para mí a través de Internet? Piense otra vez, hijo de puta. En estos momentos me pongo en contacto con mi red secreta de espías en los EE.UU. y su IP está siendo rastreado en este momento para prepararse mejor para la tormenta, gusano. La tormenta que arrasa con lo poco patético que llamas tu vida. Estás muerto, hijo. Puedo estar en cualquier parte, en cualquier momento, y te puedo matar en más de siete mil maneras, y eso es justo con mis propias manos. No sólo soy ampliamente entrenado en combate sin armas, pero no tengo acceso a todo el arsenal de la Marina de los Estados Unidos y lo voy a utilizar en toda su extensión para limpiar el culo miserables de la faz del continente, pedazo de mierda. Si sólo te podías saber qué castigo impío su pequeño comentario “inteligente” estaba a punto de hacer caer sobre ti, tal vez le haya poseído su maldita lengua. Pero no podía, no lo hiciste, y ahora está pagando el precio, Maldito idiota. Cagaré furia sobre ti y te ahogaré en ella. Estás muerto, chico.

  • Puta. Chinga tu madre. Loco.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Speaking of TFA I don’t think Rey is a Mary Sue because she’s meant to mirror Luke, which means some bad shit is gonna happen either because of her and/or to her. The ultimate Mary Sue is any one played by a Neil Breen or Tommy Wiseau type.

  • I agree.

  • junkevil

    Old memes are new when you put them in other languages.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I really wanted Independence Day Generic Title to bomb hard. It looks so offensively awful just in terms of one liners alone.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Independence Day 2: Resurgence: New trailer sees an entire city dropped on London”

    That’s the title of the movie?? Jeebus Chrissy, what’s the world coming to?

  • TheManHole

    Did you know we are also getting another horrible Sherlock Holmes Robbert Downy Jr. vehicle this year?

  • But it’s clever and self-aware! What are you? PAID BY MARVEL?

  • BATMAN V SUPERMAN IS THE BEST MOVIE THIS YEAR

  • Palpatine

    And it has Jeff Goldblum!

  • Why wasn’t he in Jurassic World? That would have spiced the movie up.

  • junkevil

    I guess bad movies bother you a lot more than me.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m not entirely sure, but aren’t Mike and Jay working for Lightning Fast instead of running it?

  • Like Icare

    That’s not how the Mary Sue works.

  • Alex

    I’ve never seen this schlock, so I decided to watch it after watching the latest episode of The Americans. And then I see Frank Langella’s name on the screen and he has a skeleton mask.

    Mind blown.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Kylo Landis, stop trying to piss people off.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ‘THIS CENTURY

    FTFY MARVEL SHILL!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    True dat actually. After I ate lunch in Prague it’s a miracle I got back to the tour bus.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Depends on the movie and what the filmmakers want to tell.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Like Icare was then stabbed by his son in the chest

  • Like Icare

    It has it’s own gravity?

    That’s not even a complete “Yo mama…” joke.

  • Palpatine

    He made a cameo on the back cover of a fictional book that appears in the movie.

  • Like Icare

    Cerveza.

  • Like Icare

    I HAVE NO SON! HE’S DEAD TO ME!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    SHOUTING IS DRAMA

  • Wizard Phoenix

    TRAITOR!

  • Like Icare

    YES IT IS!

  • Like Icare
  • Wizard Phoenix

    There has been a Keatoning. Have you felt it? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIK9tsiMSd8

  • NicCagesHair

    I thought Tim Heidecker gave them the shop and then flew off into the air.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Clearly Snoke is some guy

  • Palpatine

    Looks good.

  • From hero to zero to antihero?

  • It’s good to see him back in movies.

  • Like Icare

    No, no, no… clearly the only person who wears dark robes is the Emperor.

    The bit where that guy says “Emperor Shiv Palpatine” is like a little nugget of fremdschamen wrapped in golden foil of misery.

  • Like Icare

    Yes. This.

  • Palpatine

    I like the concept. The story of a restaurant that made millions of people fat intrests me.

  • Mark Bisone

    It really does. And the subject matter is one of the most fascinating stories in the history of American enterprise. Looks like Handcock and Keaton might actually do it justice.

  • Like Icare

    Oh… it gets better.

    “If any of my competitors were drowning, I’d stick a hose in their mouth and turn on the water.”

    Nice guy, right?

  • Like Icare

    Ring-a-ding-ding… Spoilers to the movie.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvj4svKcjl0

  • Mark Bisone

    That was the old continuity. This is the one where middle-aged Arnold raises Not Linda Hamilton as a terrorist, and Tim Heidecker is chased away by a cheap Chinese knockoff of Patrick Robertson.

  • Palpatine

    I hope Keaton says that in the film.

  • Sully

    And the next two, and the next two.

  • Like Icare

    He says the “Dog eat dog, rat eat rat” line.
    This one should be in there somewhere too.

  • Red Skeleton

    Jesus. Took him a while to die, though.

  • As a former employee, this is incredibly cringe worthy.

  • Like Icare

    I’m lovin it.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Been looking forward to this one. Looks okay so far.

  • Palpatine

    You worked at McDonald’s?

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I walked by your bridge today and noticed you weren’t there; I see you found your way here…

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    don’t you love all the tards that find there way here? BTW, is there drama following you around?

  • For 4 years.

  • Like Icare

    Well that’s some weird Harry Potter fan fiction.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrK1f4TsQfM

  • Snake Squeezer

    How are my favorite Americans doing?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Do you think when Fox had to hand over the Prequels to Disney they said “Thank you, God! They’re your’s now!”

  • Palpatine

    Fox still owns the rights to the Prequels. I think.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fox only owns the original film. Get your facts straight.

  • Snake Squeezer

    We need Science Man to explain all this!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Only losers call him Sheeeev Palpatine. I just call him Palpy like a normal human being.

  • Snake Squeezer

    What? Because he’s an alien?

  • Palpatine

    So does that mean Disney can make their Special Editions of the Prequels?

  • Snake Squeezer
  • Snake Squeezer

    Mississippi.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes. Basically they would removed….well I guess everything.

  • Like Icare

    Does that include The Holiday Special?

  • Sully

    Hey @wizardphoenix:disqus
    I hear you could be playing Jesus soon.

  • …and inserted more Death Stars!

  • Like Icare

    Jezez…

  • Snake Squeezer

    Did Andrew reveal the location of the secret RLM base again?

  • Snake Squeezer

    More like, “the wrongs!” amirite? Huh?

  • Mark Bisone

    Not freaky enough. This is more like what goes on in the Afghani pashtun hinterlands, or in barnyards on the outskirts of Qom. Think of poor SHEEP-OR.

  • This is the worst comment zone of all time and people desperately craving attention make me sick. Why can’t the world just explode and dissolve into shit?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Jesus, P.I.

  • This time it’s personal.

  • capitandelespacio

    Clickbait.

  • Sully
  • dollar store cashier wife

    comment.

  • Snake Squeezer

    yessss… feel the anger flow through you…

  • TheManHole

    Upvote.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Man Milk.

  • Sully

    Downvote.

  • Mark Bisone

    Unsubscribe.

  • Like Icare
  • Tapeworm

    Hitler

  • Snake Squeezer

    Hitler!

  • Mark Bisone

    9/11?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Many Andrews died to bring us this information.

  • Snake Squeezer

    AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDSSSSSS!!!!!!

  • Tapeworm

    Hitler:;)

  • Red Skeleton

    What? No, because there was a rumor that he was the dead guy in the field in Fargo 1…..

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Playing myself is too easy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Star Wars, AIDS, and 9/11

  • Sully

    Do you have an actual self?

  • TheManHole

    The holy trinity of the Church of Hack Fraud.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Phantom Menace is the worst ever in the world, even post 9/11

  • Sully

    Hitler with AIDS, watching Star Wars, on September 11th.

  • Palpatine

    That wasn’t him who did that months ago, that was, um, some other guy. Some really dumb guy who deserved the ban he got.

  • Tapeworm

    Hitler (¬‿¬)

  • Like Icare

    Hey, remember those movies staring Stallone? FRANK Stallone.
    Yeah… well… Steven Seagal now… appears… in one such movie.
    Can’t say acts. Can’t even really say walks that much.
    Apparently he’s mostly just lying down on a job. Sitting down on the job. Slowly shufflin around on the job.

    The poster is a work of art.
    http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTgyNTI3MDE0MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMTkwNTc3NzE@._V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg

    Oh and yeah… that Van Dam… is not THAT Van Damme.
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0885942/

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_Rmj_rtWlo

  • Snake Squeezer

    Things I learned watching the last Pre Rec…. Jack gets 20 DMCA complaints a week …. when someone makes a DMCA complaint against you, yubtub gives them your ad revenue until you can prove your compliant… when you have to fight a big tree monster, go for the hands… watching someone try to beat the same boss over and over again is a lot more fun than it sounds…Twitch does not allow streamers to go topless, even men… Twitch also does not allow feet to be shown… Twitch might be a purtianical cult… Rich Evans owns the rights to the TFA trailer…

  • Sully

    That’s the saddest thing I’ve seen all week… and Prince just died. Is that a real movie, or just something Segal made with MS Paint to make it look like he’s still working?

  • Like Icare

    Last link is the trailer. Apparently it’s a movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I hope someone shoves a club up your ass! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfJgT89hEME

  • Like Icare

    Lotsa people are into feet… Just ask Tarantino.

  • Snake Squeezer

    There it is.

  • Sully

    Well… there’s good news and bad news. The good news is
    the ✌ studio ✌ doesn’t have to worry about anyone pirating their movie. The bad news is… well…

  • Sully

    Club? Like… the Blue Oyster Bar?

  • Palpatine

    They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Referral Denied!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Manhole event – Disc of Despair – Earf Day Edition – 4/22/16 @ 9PM EDT / 01:00GMT. Spin! Watch! Lose! These titles and more to-nite:
    http://www.classtools.net/random-name-picker/45_bUGgEg

  • Snake Squeezer

    That was a cult, sir.

  • Sully
  • Snake Squeezer

    Seems like a Purple Rain broadcast would make sense soon.

  • Snake Squeezer

    “We came here to dance! Very stiffly! And NOT enjoy it!”

  • Sully

    I’m pretty sure this same exchange happened between 2 of the FOX execs when the idea for this sequel was first pitched.

    https://youtu.be/RfJgT89hEME?t=1m11s

  • Like Icare

    First 50 seconds of that trailer reek of some kinda Big Brother fascist society SO MUCH, you’d swear Paul Verhoeven was involved.
    Then you remember it’s by the guy who doesn’t get irony or satire.

    Then “it has it’s own gravity” and something falls over “all of it” of the Atlantic.
    You know… that big pool of water between Ireland and USA.
    Second biggest ocean. 20% of planet surface. Third of all water.
    Something fell from space into “all of it”.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I was all set to become the best Twitch streamer ever, but then my cat walked into frame. I heard someone yell, “NO FEET!” and then everything went dark and there was nothing but static on the screen.

  • Like Icare

    It worked a minute ago. There. Replaced it.

  • TheManHole

    Truly a fate worse then no content.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Still blocked. Did you upload it from somewhere outside the US, maybe?

  • TheManHole

    It be pretty great if they did a reverse special addition where they replace all the CGI with practical effects and puppets.

  • It’s heroine, actually.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    It seems that way.

  • I was/still am bored.
    #surprisetwist

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    its a dirty job but someone has to do it.

  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIDSSSSSSSS!

  • What if a streamer plays video games with his feet?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yeah, think of the disabled!

  • TheManHole

    Many Hitlers died to give us AIDS.

  • Like Icare

    Now that’s a weird fetish.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    no no that’s called “Pro Gaming”. I seen some japanese player play dark souls with his feet on the controller.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Andrew.

  • Like Icare

    Seeing that I am outside of US… all uploads I make are from same place.

    Try reloading. Link should be an imgur one now. NOT the amazon/imdb one.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “It just feels so unfulfilled not having Will. Oh well, im still going to see it.”

    This is why movies like these keep winning: people behaving against their Will.

  • Bandrew!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It evaporated the water that would have covered all the action sequences up on contact.
    – Making Excuses for the Movie +5

  • Did it improve his reaction time?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Steven Segal Italia! Love that guy!

  • Like Icare

    Dark souls with his feet? Was he like… black or something?

  • Will Smith: Inheritance Attorney

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s a self imposed challenge.

  • Mmmm… people are weird.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I whip my self respect back and fourth.

  • Sully

    TOO SOON!!

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    kaaaay.
    -They are dead
    -Tim Hidecker
    -NO COMMENT!
    -you know better than me
    -Jack is behind it all
    -Tuesday
    -Yes

  • RLMkeepitup

    looks campy as hell, would watch!

  • Sully

    Maybe he took the first film personally…

    https://youtu.be/3Ys65PMF2YI?t=18s

  • dollar store cashier wife

    funny thing is that one example is one of the more tame ones this community has produced. some people beat DS with a Guitar Hero controller,others do it with one hand behind their back,etc.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    No, its just because he was bat shit crazy.

  • Kill Prince!

  • I got past the first boss. o/

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “People can review this movie as being worse than Shayamalan’s Avatar and the effects can be Windows Movie Maker grade yet I will still probably pay to see it twice.” Fuck you, Reddit

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Is there any blockbuster attached to a brand that r/movies won’t see twice?

  • Palpatine

    And digitally replaced Jake Lloyd with the kid from Room.

  • There’s one upside to this movie. There is no Randy Quaid in this one.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Its so sad that the CGI lacks the visceral punch of the practical fx from the 20 year old original. it looks like a stupid cartoon.

  • Mark Bisone

    Of course they’ll go see it. The trailer makes that BRAAANNGH noise.

  • You think Kenneth BRAAANNGH would approve?

  • Mark Bisone

    Oddly enough, he’s one of the few actors left who has never appeared in a BRAAANNGH trailer.

  • Mark Bisone

    Hey, ain’t that Brendon Spinner? I thought Science Man get killed in the first one. Did they sprinkle magic blood on him?

  • He was in Wild Wild West tho.

  • Mark Bisone

    Yeah, but instead of BRAANNGHS it had terrible rap music.

  • The magic of Retcon?

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Nagh he was just possessed. then Adam Baldwin and some extras shot the alien in the face.

  • Mark Bisone

    Randy Quaid appearing in anything these besides a straight-jacket these days might actually be a selling point. The movie would still be terrible but imagine him doing the promotional circuit.

  • Is Science Man even canon?

  • Like Icare

    I think he means that it had a Kenneth Braaaanagh in it.

  • I… bought the single. *cough*

  • Mark Bisone

    I thought they stuck their alien tentacles in his brain, like a puppet.

    All this time I was so happy he was dead. I’m not sure I can go on like this.

  • Soooo, who’s gonna check the body for fingerprints?

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    He was just stunned.

  • I didn’t hate Independence Day. Granted, I saw it when I was a kid. It is cheesy and dumb, of course. What I hated was what came after it – 2012, The Day After Tomorrow and so on…

  • Palpatine

    You gotta wear gloves.

  • Palpatine

    I remember enjoying it. I still don’t understand the alien’s motivation though.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Found them… they were on the ends of the bodies fingers.

  • Palpatine

    Ba-dum-tss!

  • Uhm, resources, I think?

  • I guess it pays homage to the classic ’50s alien invasion movies. They’re just there to be the antagonist. Remember what happened when someone tried to give his aliens motivation?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhvDMhrws1o

  • Mark Bisone

    I think that was the point of the scene with Hippy Data. President Man delivers some vague line about they suck planets dry and then move on.

  • Palpatine

    Ah whatever. At least the White House gets blowed up!

  • Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. Uhm.
    #first time viewer

  • YEAAAAH BOIIII!

  • Mark Bisone

    I wonder what they’ll blow up this time? The sky?

  • Time itself.

  • Like Icare

    You know… a killer could take advantage of that. Grabbing people by the tips of their fingers so that as to hide own fingerprints…
    Then dropping the body into a wood chipper and feeding the dogs with what comes out.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVwlMVYqMu4

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Because it feels like a forever watching the movie?

  • People really need to stop doing “cute” things with/to their animals.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Randy is gold bra. get on him.

  • Like Icare

    What do you mean?
    Walter Matthau was great there. Great sense of pantomime.

  • What the hell did he go through?

  • NOT! andrew thompson
  • RLMkeepitup

    I’mm baacckkk. he would have to say that in the movie

  • Like Icare

    Apparently London and the Atlantic Ocean.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    All of it.

  • Like Icare

    Nah… Tentacles were clearly around the neck.

    But they use telepathy to control his speech.

  • So, he went to conspiracy town and never came back?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “I don’t think so”
    -Dot Warner

  • Like Icare

    He and his wife took over the town and made it a kingdom of which they are the supreme rulers.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Thats how I remember it. then it throws him across the room.

  • Like Icare
  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Yeah… but he keeps posting videos so Crazy Town has good wifi.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Sprinkle some crack, move on…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The main thing going through my mind during the Independence Day 2 trailer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvc9_GDoWI4

  • Hey, leave Rick Berman alone!

  • Mark Bisone

    I thought you were gonna say, “a fork.”

  • He doesn’t seem to give a single fuck anymore.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    It’s nice to see that Brent Spiner is alive, and is sporting the comedy wig.

  • Like Icare

    Alien gets thrown. Data more like… slides down the glass.
    The shot is only there for a split second.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ZlawibQ_QKI#t=47

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That ain’t Rick Berman.

  • RLMkeepitup

    “they like to get the landmarks”…. this movie is self aware

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s his evil twin, Trick Berman.

  • Like Icare

    Feel the Berman.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The table read extra feature was the most disappointing thing since my son.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    If you love Disney so much, why don’t you just start driving around Ford’s and get a swastika tattooed on your forehead?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Disney thought it was a good idea not to show the whole table read or put an extra called “Virtual Date with Daisy Ridley”

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Or, how to make your own BB-8?… I would have watched that.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    *Instant Adoring Mary Sue?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yeah – what if its Geddy Lee?

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Max Landis fanboy^

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why are you dressed like Aragorn son of Arathorn? Isn’t that New Zealand?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Or Simon Pegg showing JJ the Plinkett reviews

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Or Edgar Wright throwing a temper tantrum when he didn’t get his way? oh wait, wrong movie…

  • Palpatine

    I honestly wanted the whole thing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Or Kathleen Kennedy and Kevin Fiege’s Disney money fight

  • Yeah, I love her.

  • Like Icare

    What a brave new metahype world we live in.

    http://www.theverge.com/2016/4/22/11487410/movie-trailers-independence-day-jason-bourne

    Fuck trailers!

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Or how 1 out of every 6 purchases you make goes into Mickey Mouse’s pocket?

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I’m in disguise. SHHHH!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    ….toss me….

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    As I read my, meta-anylasis, I find this borderline trollish, but I can’t look away…

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I laughed so hard when he said that that people actually shushed me in the cinema.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I have a feeling you’re reaction was NOT THE BEARD!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They marketed BB-8 as the cute new Star Wars character and now they should reevaluate that.

  • GodSentUs

    3/10 for effort.

  • Like Icare
  • Mark Bisone

    Science Man still looks pretty dead to me. He’s got the thousand-mile stare when Gun Man checks for a pulse. Then Gun Man just leaves him there to do more gun things.

  • Like Icare

    He got better! He was just pining for fjords.

  • Sully

    TOO LATE!!!

  • Make up your mind, FOX!

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Does lube cum seperately?

  • Maybe

    Test

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This is sad.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Success?

  • Like Icare

    Apparently so.
    https://secure.realdoll.com/doll-accessories/

    Might wanna get an “extra or replacement” tongue while you’re there.
    https://secure.realdoll.com/extra-or-replacement-tongue/

    Or a labia repair kit. The wording is just hilarious.
    https://secure.realdoll.com/labia-repair-kit/

    The kit includes the new labia, one packet of adhesive, powder to color the adhesive, stirring sticks, written instructions, and a DVD demonstrating the repair process.

  • Maybe

    To be determined.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Or, something that would make my life easier…
    https://secure.realdoll.com/rd2-transgender-converter/

  • All in all as expensive as a real relationship.

  • Like Icare

    It’s $6500. That’s not sad. That’s a fuckin tragedy.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    So, I take it that’s a ‘Maybe’.

  • Hey, I just met you,

    And this is crazy,

    But here’s my number,

    So call me, maybe!

  • Maybe

    You said it, not me.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    You could probably order a wife from south-eastern Asia with express shipping for cheaper.

  • Like Icare

    More unintentional hilarity.

    This new transgender converter will turn your RD2 into a shemale whenever you feel like it, without being a permanent switch!

    This adaptor will allow you to add a medium size extra realistic penis attachment to any RD2 doll (or Wicked RealDoll) without the hassle of permanently attaching anything. Simply remove your doll’s vaginal insert and slide the converter in and you are ready to go!

    Please note this product only works on RD2 and Wicked RealDolls with removable inserts (not RD2 with permanent inserts or classic dolls.)

    Available in all of our standard skin colors.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Its Andrew GET HIM!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I would spend that money on an actual date with Daisy Ridley.

  • Like Icare

    Very likely.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    LOL!

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    R2? I never knew… Medium size?, hate to see a large…

  • Noooo, stahp ruining my date.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Extra or replacement”? Why would I get an extra tongue that’s not for a replacement? Where am I supposed to glue it on, if the old one’s still attached?

  • Like Icare

    There’s a reason Leia kept them outdated models around…

  • You could probably order a porn star as an escort for that money.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    In my country ‘Date’ is slang for yer butthole.

  • Yes, that’s what I was aiming towards anyways.

  • AKA Mr. Wint
  • Awwwwww. I haven’t heard this in forever. WHY PEEEDER? WHAT HAVE YA DONE???!!! RAAAAAAAAH!!! *flips table*

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Average for a porn shoot is about $5,000. so yes, yes you could.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And you’re from New Zealand, right? How’s President Peter Jackson doing?

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    How do you NOT not know that?

  • You don’t even need to pick up your phone nowadays. Just go to some escort directory and swipe right.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Less than $500 is more accurate.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    It was Helen Clark last time I paid attention. who knows what happens in the land of the long white cloud.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    She won’t be as lasting a companion. And you can’t replace her labia… Actually, these days you probably can.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well you’re a ranger from the north. I don’t think you care about politics outside of Gondor.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “One other person is typing…” means Not Andrew is about to school you in pornstar pay rates.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I was talking about a proper porno not webcam grade crap.

  • Like Icare

    That’s the beauty of it.
    You don’t have to be a slave to conventional binary choices of no tongue or yes tongue.
    You could make an ALL tongue doll if you wanted to.

    You might risk someone like Kevin Spacey tracking you down though… though I’m not sure which sin should that represent.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And where did you get this information, Andrew son of Arathorn heir to the Throne of Gondor?

  • Like Icare

    Yes. Yes you can.
    http://www.webmd.com/women/guide/vaginoplasty-and-labiaplasty-procedures

    May your every time be your first time.

  • Maybe

    Weird thing is. There’s no reason this should have worked. Was I pardoned? Why was I [redacted] in the first place? I blame you.

  • Jeezuz Christ!

  • Maybe

    Yes, my son?

  • I am unworthy. *falls to knees*

  • Maybe

    Rise. You are all beautiful in mine eyes.

  • Like Icare

    Maybe it was a 24-hour cool-down?

    Like what cops used to do. Only with less beating.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    From the Shire to Minas Morgul is my Kingdom. and my gatling gun shalt smite the Orc’s

  • Maybe

    Yeah. Sure. ‘Cause I’m not black, right? Racist!

  • Damn, LOTR with a gatling gun would have been awesome.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I… I dont have time for these wild accusations!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You stole sets from Weta? Shit, Sir Richard Taylor is gonna be pissed.

  • Thank you, my lord.

  • Like Icare

    You should write that to her.

    “Dear Daisy… go out on a date with me.
    I’d rather spend $6500 on real you then on a silicone doll made to resemble you.”

    And make sure to include some Andrew-type Polaroids, so she’d really know how much you care.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Plinkett is coming…. there must be no decent! the un pure must be burnt in the forge of the ban hammer!

  • Maybe

    Excuse me, dearly beloved, but my jam is about to start on center stage, and Marvin Gaye promised to save me a seat.

  • What is he gonna do? Call the cops? Nobody is gonna understand what he’s saying!

  • Enjoy thine show!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    P.S. I’m Jesus now

  • Nightie night, you marvelous bunch of vaginal dicks! <3

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Minimum one month bans only became available to MODs about a month ago. Fingers crossed.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • How weirdly appropriate.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Gross

  • Like Icare

    I thought they were all just sheep.

    http://satwcomic.com/dinner-partner

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That Jedi was a penis head and so was the director

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I assume this is Ma Kettle, but you could be the Starfleet guy… Basically who knows what happened. but people got banned on a vaguely random basis.

  • NicCagesHair

    When does buff Arnold show up? The more buff Arnold, the better.

  • Sully

    PERFECTLY TIMED!!

  • Like Icare

    Maybe they gave admin rights to a cat.

    Cats will ban people just to see them suffer.

  • NOT! andrew thompson
  • Sully

    At least it wasn’t a ballchinian.

  • Sully

    I’ve never been banned. Why does everyone love me so much… I mean besides the obvious?

  • Zoophilia.

  • NOT! andrew thompson
  • Sully
  • Sully

    All cats are evil. You’re not special.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Tail, everyone loves some tail.

  • Sully

    This is true. I’ll allow it.

  • NOT! andrew thompson
  • Sully

    What is it with you and black pussy?

  • Fux Mulder?

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Black cats are good luck.

  • Sully

    I’d rather Fux Scully.

    http://i.imgur.com/WmD0u3b.jpg

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Did you ever see Zootopia? That furry ass is why…

  • Sully

    Yes they are… but how do you know that… MUGGLE?!

  • Sully

    Not yet. But it’s on my list.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Bro My mums a witch. dont muggle with me.

  • I’d rather Scully Fux Mulder.

  • Sully

    My mom, too.

    Did we just become best friends?

  • Sully

    Do you, boo.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Yeah sure, just stop throwing Kryptonite at me. Its makes my allergies act up.

  • Sully

    Fine. FINE!! Did you know that if you crush up kryptonite and eat it with soda you’ll die?

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I got accused of downloading porn in high school for this.
    https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQcG0gxvqanlf_PzmAoj92BgOI5t5VcuNhJoiJhHH3WPUSxm4Glvw
    If only we knew then what porn would become…

  • Sully

    Nary a nip in sight. That’s some horseshit.

    On a related note, a teacher of mine once called a conference with my parents because they thought my art was a sign of “Devil Worship.”
    I was drawing cartoon dragons.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I drew the dead rising from the grave and pentagrams…. and it was considered normal…. for me.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I’d rather both of them covered in lube and they… No its to soon to get banned again…

  • Sully

    Down under v. Bible Belt I suppose. I’m surprised they didn’t try to burn me at the stake.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I went to a catholic school.

  • Sully

    Well, Catholics are the most occult-ish of the christian faiths. Have you ever been to the Vatican? There’s some wild shit going on in that place.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Inhumans has been removed from Marvel’s schedule. We saw this coming the moment it was announced.

  • Sully

    Rumor has it they’ve got some new plans with FOX. I wonder if they (FOX) caught a whiff of what Marvel was cooking with Sony and now they want a piece?

  • Haha.

  • Palpatine

    Oh no, I was so looking forward to giving it a 7/10!

  • Like Icare

    Oh the inhumanity.

  • I don’t get it.

  • Like Icare

    Nuns go crazy fo that.

  • Like Icare
  • Sully

    Great. Now we’ve got a Hasbro cinematic universe to look forward to endure.

  • tOmy`

    Thank fuck.

  • Strangely I take great comfort in that. We already got all this other crap so why not have this. Star Trek TNG excluded.

  • Sully

    Well here ya go! G.I. Joe, Micronauts, Mask, and Visionaries are about to get a shared universe, overseen by scribe Akiva Goldsman.

  • Palpatine

    Does that mean Transformers is being rebooted?

  • Sully

    No such luck. Transformers 5, 6, 7, and 8 are underway, also helmed by Akiva Goldsman.

  • Palpatine

    Is he a good writer?

  • Sully

    He wrote A Beautiful Mind… but he also wrote Batman & Robin. Take that as you will.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Does a bear use public restrooms?

  • Sully
  • Palpatine

    Oh, so he did write two hour long toy commercials before.

  • Akira Goldkiri who? Mask and G.I Joe? Hollywood rummaging through the nostalgic garbage heap again huh. Well I’ll die sometime eventually and this will be all over, I take comfort in that.

  • Sigourney Weaver will be 73 years old in the last Avatar movie.

  • Sully

    Yep. He’s got Batman Forever under his résumé as well.

  • Sully

    Didn’t her character die in the first one? Wtf?

  • Palpatine

    She doesn’t seem that old.

  • They cloned her I, mean clowned her. If there is a material called Unobtanium might as well send in the clowns.

    Avatar II Trick or Treat
    Clowns have taken over medlab and wheelchair Kung Fu master Jackie Sullllyyy must defend the Navi once again.

    Avatar III Space Gas
    The corporation plans to terraform the Navi homeworld to earthlike conditions inorder to make it the themepark of the future of space. Once again Jake Sulyyyy must defend the Navi with his upgraded tank wheelchair

    Avatar IV The Fountain of Poopf
    Jake Sully and the Navi die during the first 3 minutes of the film. Just static and noise play through the rest of the movie, no one notices.

  • Palpatine

    Mrs. Monster Mash.

  • Is that the name of your wife? Heyoooooooooooooooooooooo
    ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
    oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

  • Palpatine
  • Wizard Phoenix

    They renamed The Disaster Artist movie to The Masterpiece. Not to be confused with that movie I was in.

  • Palpatine

    Much more fitting titties title.

  • Auuuuugah! Yausah, whadda guirl. Hubba hubba hubba! Now that toad can drop a leg if you know what I mean.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p3FsA0olbQ&feature=youtu.be&t=58s

  • Cameron Mitchell

    Fun fact: the author of the original He-Man mini-comics (that came with the action figures and which Mike mentions in the commentary) is none other than Donald F. Glut — who penned the Empire Strikes Back novel!

    http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/8/80/Episodev_empirestrikesback.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20101210203245

  • Captain Prickhard

    Patton Oswalt’s wife, Michelle died today, age 46.
    http://laist.com/2016/04/22/michelle_mcnamara_obit.php

  • Sorry to hear that. Hope he’s ok.

  • Hudson Hawk (1991), now there is a movie. 10/10

  • NicCagesHair

    Is that Bruce Willis in his horrible blonde phase?

  • NicCagesHair

    From the Wikipedia page: Tommy Wiseau also has a “contractually obligated” cameo opposite James Franco.

    Of course he does.I bet Tommy added this to the page.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    It is brilliant.

  • Palpatine

    Not as good as Suburban Commando though.

  • This is pre-blonde but he wears a silly hat and the mob shoots a cappuccino out of his hand. Just when he got out of the slammer and just wants some peace and quiet you know what I mean. I connected with him, this means good writing and character development. There is plenty more going on. In fact, this movie has everything.

  • That cinematic masterpiece is just the best. I’m actually going to watch it next month. It’s MY “every summer” movie since 1992. The kids hate it but I just laugh and keep watching.

  • Hey, aren’t you dead?

  • Wolvy

    I hope the mouse outright buys back the rights to X-Men / FF. This could be it.

  • Captain Prickhard

    This one goes out to Maggit
    https://youtu.be/JOKn33-q4Ao?t=31

  • Back to Hudson Hawk. I can’t recommend this movie enough. SEE IT!

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Yes.

  • Tapeworm

    You’re welcome

  • Disasterpiece would have suited it more.

  • Maybe she’s a skost. Or she’ll only appear in flashbacks.

  • So, it’s your Die Hard for summer?

  • Absolutely. I must have seen that 50 times over the years. It is the best film ever made. It is for the ages.

  • Stop! Or my mom will shoot is on my watch list. WHAT? I don’t even remember putting it there. There is a foul force at work here. Who wrote this? Oooh…

  • Joe Syxpac

    They’ll be on rotation forever on Turner Classic.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Nobody has made a proper porno since the late 80s.

  • Joe Syxpac

    They came for the water.

    Cuz they completely ran out of the two most abundant molecules in the universe.

  • Have you been eating sushi again, you damn dirty cannibal?

  • I bought the dehvadeh. *shame*

  • NO, he’s Ted.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Tentative Indy 5 filming/release window. THANK FUCKING GOD! http://thestudioexec.com/good-news-world-end-indiana-jones-5/?utm_content=buffer16e3a&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer (Will still beat the newest Plinkett review to release)

  • Huh? What’s happening?

  • Melissa McCarthy is so fat that she can pop a zit to butter her sandwich.

  • A guy explodes while auctioning out a valuable Leonardo da Vinchi item in the film. You don’t have to be a shamed it’s a work of art.

    A Space Cop blu-ray, now that’s a shame.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Sometimes, as I type absolute shit into the comment section of RLM’s latest bi-montly video, I think to myself: “Self, despite how lazy these hack fraud fucks are, it’s nice of them to host a site where the same 12 people can have their own private forum to discuss Rich Evan’s gorgeous body.” All is right in the world. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

  • SIC BRN!

  • You’re high on fish seamen.

  • This is getting me all teary-eyed and ‘motional. Nooo, I didn’t drink too much champagne. Mommy, please. Ooowww, mommy, stop embarrassing me in front of these people. Why are you doing this to me? *cries*

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I hope you will ghostwrite her biography.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Quiet yongling! listen to your mum! now get back under the stairs.

  • Pretty decent sound for a maggot.

  • Okaaayyyyyyy, let’s stop reenacting my childhood, mmkay? It’s getting creepy.

  • NOT! andrew thompson
  • At least you were allowed to watch wacky YouTube clips.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I was 26 when yousTurds started.

  • You were never that young!

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Thats the pot calling the kettle fat.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I’m so old I had a mullet.

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA!

    https://youtu.be/3dm2lBzm2AE

    Condolences.

  • PROOF, please. 😛

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Its dark. maybe tomoz if I can find my photos in the barn.

  • No sweat. 😉

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    its 11.C, no chance of that.

  • Hey, same here. I can’t believe how much we have in common. Heh. Mmmpf. I’m not a creepy stalker. No. NO! I ONLY ONCE HID IN YOUR BATHROOM FOR AN HOUR AND SMELLED YOUR TOWELS. *cough*

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I live in what the americans would call a ‘Trailer.’ I can see the bathroom from here… and there is nothing but a 40″ plasma tv in there.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    your pic just came through. nice.

  • bleurgh

    Who watched Horace and Pete? It had some subpar moments, but fuck man, that ending.

  • Everything a true man needs. I approve.

  • Thanks, only now do I feel like a true man.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    you look like an arsehole… but its about how YOU feel.

  • *underwear

  • Spoiled Ants

    Strangely, that’s how I remember Qui-Gon when I have to describe him:
    a dickhead.
    And a drunk.

  • Mmm Caviare.

  • Spoiled Ants

    You got pardoned by PRINCE.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I never wear underpants… or often any pants at all.

  • tOmy`
  • Spoiled Ants

    I know it’s Disney but I feel inclined to ask, does that feature conclude with a Happy Ending?

  • tOmy`

    “The Grudge spirit vs. The Ring girl, Japan’s answer to Freddy Vs. Jason, is here”

    “The Grudge and The Ring were the two most successful exports of the early 2000s J-horror bonanza, especially after they were remade for American audiences. (They both also got equally terrible American sequels, but let’s stay positive today.) Frankly, it’s a little odd it’s taken this long for Japanese studio execs to have the same realization as American horror producers did 13 years ago, when Freddy Vs. Jason came out. But wait no more—ridiculous perfection, thy name is Sadako Vs. Kayako.”

  • tOmy`

    Wait, I thought this was a music forum…

  • tOmy`

    To London, apparently.

  • Spoiled Ants

    I don’t know, you can get that stare from drinking too much Red Bull as well.

  • Spoiled Ants

    You make it sound like they’re handing them the keys to a car with a dead hooker in the trunk.

    It’s nothing like that.

  • Tapeworm

    Right, because the monsters were what made those movies tick. Bad Japan execs, bad!

  • Tapeworm

    I have the same thought often, but then it makes me sad, for some reason.

  • tOmy`

    I for one cannot wait for the Ring chick to crawl out of the screen and beat the living shit out of that creaking little pale whore.

    That girl must pay!

  • Spoiled Ants

    That’s why God invented chewing gums on the 2nd day.

  • Like Icare

    I always liked that movie.
    First cause I was a kid and it was funny to me as a kid.
    Then cause I was no longer a kid and it was kinda… insane.

    It’s like a Blake Edwards comedy… with modern actors in modern times.

  • Tapeworm

    Get the Wayans brothers on it right away!

  • I guess…. who is this gu*sudden cut*

  • Spoiled Ants

    I enjoyed it in cinema, but had to switch it off during the 2nd viewing. I do that a lot lately……….

    …..Guardians of the Galaxy sucks, I don’t know what the big deal about this movie is.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I miss when they made good films, like…. …Blankman was ok….

  • Like Icare

    Dying blue cat people get transferred into the tree which is a node of the central nervous system of the whole planet’s biosphere.
    So technically… she lives on “in the net”.
    It’s like Ghost in the Shell for eco-hippie-cat-lovers.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I really hate that movie. my biggest consolation is that it looks worse every year. eventually even children wont watch it and it will be forgotten. Die you CGI bucket of shit.

  • Sully

    @instant_relief:disqus
    That’s the worst avatar I’ve ever seen… and I’ve seen The Last Airbender.

  • Like Icare

    That’s the last time that Bruce Willis plays a PRIMARILY charming jokester character, sorta regular guy complaining about the cards he’s being dealt by life.
    Last Boy Scout still has him complaining… but he’s already a fuckin invincible badass with superhuman abilities.

    After that… he’s mostly just different kinds of badass. Human or superhuman.
    Then he forgot how to act and just started playing Badass Bruce.

  • It’s the “workings” of Cameron’s mind. He has money, influence and grand disillusions so it’s gonna be interesting to follow these coming six(!) years.

  • Like Icare

    It’s still Japan.

    They might make something insane out of it by pure inertia.
    Not necessarily good… but it might be adequately fucked up.

  • Palpatine

    Japan isn’t bad at “vs.” films. They have like a billion Godzilla vs. (Insert Monster Here) movies after all.

  • Like Icare

    Good thing about there being more than one Wayans is that you get multiple chances to laugh at people who will treat their eventual deaths the way everyone was all sappy and shit about a dead midget dressed in purple just the other day.

  • Like Icare

    True dat.

  • Gross!

  • Care for some of my… all-natural champagne?

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I always hated that guy. he was a massive tiny purple dick.

  • Let me thank you in the manliest fashion for your feedback.

  • Sully

    If she doesn’t start watching her weight, she’ll be able to ghostwrite her own biography.

  • Sully

    You’re welcome? *shakes mullet*

  • Don’t touch the mullet, baby. *pulls out*

  • Sully
  • Percy Gryce

    I just heard that the Prince died on Thursday. I hope no one told the Queen. It was her 90th birthday after all.

  • That’s funny, because he’s dead.

  • This is the dungeon of RLM. They don’t come down to talk to us, they just open the hatch to moderate then leave quickly. Oh, we are the RLM filth.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p3FsA0olbQ&feature=youtu.be&t=58s

  • Palpatine

    Illuminati confirmed!

  • Maybe

    I was under a stone longer than you: I just found out Umberto Eco (The Name of the Rose, Foucault’s Pendulum, Baudolino) died a month ago.

    Also, Ronit Elkabetz (Gett: The Trial of Viviane Amsalem) died last week.

    Probably, like, a million other people, too, none of whom ever rocked it like “Let’s Pretend We’re Married.”

  • Palpatine

    Is it too soon to mention that I just died?

  • Maybe

    You can mention it. It’s just too soon to make a tasteless joke about it. Sully or Wiz handle that kind of stuff.

  • tOmy`

    “Why pop stars keep on dying”
    – Independent

    Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today 2 get through this thing called journalism…

  • Palpatine

    I usually avoid making tasteless comments.

  • Maybe

    On the movie schedule today: EVERYBODY WANTS SOME, followed by MILES AHEAD. The first had better not be as awful as BOYHOOD. The second at least has Don Cheadle.

  • tOmy`

    After analyzing this statement with team of battered housewives, the team of scientists concluded that this is indeed a lie.

  • (R)Andy!

  • Maybe

    Hinges on the word “usually.” He didn’t claim to NEVER make tasteless comments. He just credited himself with restraint.

    I’ll allow it.

  • Um, green…

  • Palpatine

    No duh!

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Dude I’m standing right here… fine whatever….

  • Maybe

    Things I’ve learned this week about the hambanner…

    1. I thought it was based on I.P. address. It isn’t always.
    2. So, it must be based on account e-mail address. Seems not, apparently, always?
    3. It’s quite random, like a mother’s love for her children. “You are my favorite, but since you didn’t pick up the towel in the bathroom, there will be no THE JUNGLE BOOK for you.”

    I have learned nothing this week. About the hambanner.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    (Q)uaid?

  • Maybe

    Your tastelessness has apparently lost the ability to shock.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Meh. ban shmam.

  • Palpatine

    Since you mentioned it, did you like The Jungle Book?

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    That hurts man. I mean I hate you but… fuck that was cold….

  • Maybe

    I thought it was alright, yeah. I had two little problems with it. One: When the giant ape starts singing. They just should’ve left that for the end credit sequence. Two: The climax with the tiger chasing the boy through the tree was too much like the set-piece which immediately preceded it, with another animal chasing the boy through another bunch of confined space.

    All said, though, it was quite fine. The original cartoon, while rightly beloved for its character designs and music, isn’t really a great work of animation. The remake has better characterizations and a more involving arc.

    I have no time, however, for a sequel. Fyuck that.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Why did you get banned? Did you revealed super secret RLM info? Like how the new Plinkett review is due on tuesday?

  • Maybe

    No idea, actually. I mentioned a Presidential candidate, but I didn’t threaten him. And besides, I’ve been smack-talking the dumbass republicans for months now.

  • Palpatine

    I watched the original a lot as a kid, but looking back, it’s defintely not one of the better Disney animated films.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Why you? thats the bit I dont get. me sure I’m RLM’s satan. but why you?

  • Palpatine

    Speaking of which, I’m going to a Bernie rally today.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    FEEL THE GALACTIC IMPERIAL BERN

  • Maybe

    Don’t eat the brown acid, buddy.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    So you are evil… I knew it!

  • Palpatine

    I’m not evil! Just look at my happy, reassuring face.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    If only Chris Brown showed the same restraint.

  • Palpatine

    Oh yeah, I forgot about that joke.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Let mesa schools ya’ll. Until january this year MOD’s could only perma ban people. then Diqust let us do shorter one month bans. You probably got a minor ban. I got perma banned again which as we all know is just a waste of everyone’s time.

  • Palpatine

    How do you bypass your ban?

  • Maybe

    Mine was a day, not a month. I still believe it’s based not on the will of some mod but as a result of some thin-skinner bitching about a comment. Contact somebody and say, “So-and-so hurt my feelings.” And they will automatically knock you off.

    I’m going to experiment with my theory someday, and I’ll probably just do it with you, since you’re a veteran and all. Or maybe Sully, because he’s so cocky. That’s it! But, I’ll wait around until CIVIL WAR, so we’ll all be spared all his “Marvel genius” nonsense. Don’t warn him.

    #Oops

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Gmail baby! a new account just flys.

  • Maybe

    See, what I mean? I didn’t have to change my account, just delete and repeat.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Use me, Sully is OG.
    and yes basically if Michael Collins cries in an email you get banned.

  • Maybe

    Is everybody getting the running ad for Ted Cruz?

    He stood up for the cross, the Ten Commandments and the Pleadge of Allegiance. And he won!

    He’s sooooo dreamy!

  • Maybe

    Original Gangsta? I meant veteran as in “veteran of bannings.” An expert, if you will.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    8,2 on RT
    86 on metacritic
    8,3 on IMDB

    C I V I L W A R- B E S T M O V I E OF 2 0 16

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Yeah but I want the wall of shame covered in my corpses…. hahahahahhaha. banning me is playing into my hands!

  • Palpatine

    7/10 from me.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Yes,

  • Maybe

    It’ll drop 70% in its second week and still be called the most satisfying experience since a middle school hand-job.

    Addiction to sh!t that’s bad for you eventually kills ya. Somebody should’ve told Prince.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I’m Watching Rage…. there is no ad’s
    http://www.abc.net.au/rage/archive/s4448816.htm

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Sully has never been banned and Wizza only once. only one human is sad enough to keep coming back… Oh…

  • Maybe

    So, it wasn’t as “good” as JURASSIC WORLD, then?

    *giggle*

  • Domo

    Well, hey. Things look back to normal here, so let’s party!

    I watched Zootopia yesterday and thought it was the sweetest film. Beautiful art, great story, with a message that’s open enough for any person to relate to with their own struggles. I’ve been reading reviews where writers pin feminism or racism or whathaveyou onto this story, but when you try to tag what you’re thinking onto this story, the story subverts and does a switcheroo constantly.

    I would love to recommend the film. It’s a great way to say to an audience “if all these mammals with their differences can get along, why can’t humans who have much fewer differences get along, too?”

  • tOmy`

    I also think there are two possible bans:

    1) IP ban
    2) Account ban

    Disqus works in mysterious ways, most of which are totally bonkers, so who knows how it worked out.

  • tOmy`

    Best disappointment of the year, bby.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That would imply I had expectations for it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    But was the bunny fuckable? That’s the only criteria internet worries about.

  • tOmy`

    “if all these mammals with their differences can get along…”

    This is sweet concept on paper for kids show, but kids have only couple of years of innocence till they learn about cannibalism, predators, pecking order, evolution and motherfucking Australia, which sorta blows the whole concept out of the water.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Hoping to watch it next weekend with the small human.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    you know we teach our young proper, kill or die.

  • tOmy`

    I mean, in reality, the concept should work the other way around.

    “Look at all these shiny happy people using their intellect and art and society to raise above the level of primal behavior of animal kingdom.”

    I always had this little problem with similar concepts. Yes, it is a beautiful one, sure. Sexy bunny and funny sloth are friends and they work together to make a world a better place. We should all be like them!

    But they are not like that in reality, so what exactly does it say? I fully realize that this is a very simplistic metaphor for kids, showing that even with all the differences we can still somehow be friends, but just as with the concept of animals being friends, which is a lie, people have these little places, for example goddamn Palestine, that pretty much prove the exact opposite.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Kill or Die.. am I talking to my self?

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    Night Ya’ll I’ll most likely be banned in the morning…. xoxo.

  • RIP Patton Oswalt’s wife Michelle.

  • Domo

    Not to mention furries. Those adorable furries!

  • Like Icare

    I, aptly, mostly just never cared much for him or his music.
    But lately he’s been coming off as pretty much an insane person with an overinflated sense of self-importance.

  • junkevil

    I did. Overall, I thought it was really good. That sudden ending came because Louis CK was losing a bunch of money or something.

  • Maybe

    Plus, it’s the first animated movie that acknowledges sniper sheep.

    ‘Bout time!

  • Domo

    I don’t think I could ever watch a children’s film with you.

  • tOmy`

    I was just spitballing, really. It just leaves me with this icky feeling of teaching kids something through a lie.

    But hey, to be fair, I do love kids movies and I get what they are doing.

  • Palpatine

    No, Jurassic World is a 6.5/10 for me. Sorry, I know you hate that film.

  • Zootopia, what a ripoff! The message has been used before in a superior film. Also, polling shows that kids prefer puppeteering/costumes to CGI*.

    *polling done on blind-mute-deaf kids

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uigHV-gOHxs

  • Like Icare

    Animals, all living in harmony… blah-blah… are a metaphor.
    Problem is… it’s describing an incomplete picture of reality which ignores the core question.
    And it’s not the why “goddamn Palestines” thing – it’s why is not everything a “goddamn Palestine”?

    And the answer is simple… but not something you ever want to teach to the next generation until they are fully grown cause they are simply not ready for it.
    We are NOT nor will we EVER BE completely free. Nor do we want to be.

    We’re social creatures whose biology evolved for creating and living in societies.
    So we build societies and create the rules to make them work because we MUST – and we mostly do it by limiting our individual freedom even further by creating rules.
    Which we don’t want… but it sure beats being cold and hungry and alone… somewhere where there are wolves.

    It’s a compromise.

    And you don’t want to teach kids to “settle for what you can get” and to “always pick the lesser evil”.
    Not unless you want your modicum of freedom to run out really fast just as you are starting to grow old and decrepit.

    Instead, we give them idealized versions of the truth (i.e. a lie) and thus shift onto them the burden of making it not a lie when they pass it on to the next generation.
    It kinda works… slowly… but it works.

    Far fewer wolves around for one.
    And it sure as fuck beats living in any decade or century in the past.
    Eventually we’ll hit that biological limit of how free and warm, and full and not alone we can be at the same time. Maybe we learn to live with that limitation and we stop lying. Maybe we change the rules of biology. Maybe we surrender our freedom to our robot overlords… I mean protectors.

    But the lie IS getting smaller and smaller in the meantime.

  • Tapeworm

    It’s not like we don’t do that throughout the whole life. Most of the proper college courses I had started with “Right, forget what they told you in highschool, in reality…”

    It’s about using a pre-existing structure that exists in the mind and building on that. Kids know the basic rules with animals, so then the story is quickly accesible and can try to work with more abstract notions.

  • Like Icare

    What did he win?

    I once won a hat. It had a “Mr. Nut” peanuts logo on it.
    http://9ct.cc/images/goods/20140905/a64ce4b94bc9e3f5.jpg
    Did he win a Mr. Nut hat too?

  • Well, it’s up to the parents to teach their kids the difference between fantasy and reality.

    The mullet hath spoketh.

  • Like Icare

    It’s hard to quit purple.

  • *you worry about

  • Sleep well, not not!

  • Maybe

    Just an aside…There’s audio of Prince’s last concert floating around on the internet. Respecting by disrespecting. The world is so weird now.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You’ve mistaken me for Tom. Or Like_Icare or Wiz. Or any of these weirdo’s that brought it up when the movie was released.

  • RLMkeepitup

    na the world is fine, just the people are weird

  • Michael Collins

    Yeah, condolences to Patton and his family.

  • Sully

    G’night, Dread Pirate Andrew. Sleep well, and dream of large women.

  • Or me. Bunny fuckability 69/10.

  • Sully

    Were my “people” well represented in this, or did they go for the typical “Foxes look sly, thus must be criminals” approach?

  • Sssh, wanna buy some H?

  • Maybe

    Both.

    Seriously. Both.

  • Sully
  • Sully

    They’ll never ban me. I know things. THINGS!!!!

  • Wanna buy a vocal?

  • Sully

    I took like six months off to go on assignment. How am I now number two?

    Pound Sign: SullyIsThaShitConfirmed

  • Sully
  • Mark Bisone

    So, basically, it’s the same message as “He-Man”, except with fewer nightmarish mutations, skeleton monsters and bestiality subtexts.

  • Domo

    Your people ARE con artists. The movie is just speaking the truth! Down with mammals! Reptiles are the future!!!

    The foxes in this, though, have some of the funnier bits, with a super sweet twist towards the end. It makes me regret buying my favorite fox fur coat.

  • Palpatine

    Disqus is weird.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Horrible news. The RLM fan community’s thoughts are with you, Patton.

  • Sully

    Can’t say I blame you for the coat. Everyone wants a fox on their body.

  • Sully

    Or… ORRR… 100% accurate and not at all biased towards Tacos and/or orange animals.

  • Sully

    Tragic news.

  • I wanna punch you in the face for every cutesy GIF you post.

  • tOmy`

    I love how the top cream represents different nationalities, different genders, different sexual orientations, different species… and a racist toad.

  • Sully

    All toads are racists, but more the self-deprecating kind, and less “master race.”
    It ain’t easy being green… and looking like the neck of an obese diabetic. [don’t google that]

  • Sully

    Calm down, Stark, or Caps gonna have to whip dat ass.

  • Mark Bisone

    Actually, on the balance, maybe “He-Man” had the superior theme. It showed that people working together as a group can also do some pretty horrible things, and that it sometimes takes particularly brave and talented individuals to stop them.

  • and thwordth.

  • I’m not a racist you Czech scum. Are you telling us we can trust japs? Well go ahead, befriend them. Tomorrow you’ll wake up with a Katana in your back. Then who’s the racist!?

  • Sully

    “Katana?” What is that? Japanese for the “s” word?

  • WHAT THE F*CK. YOU LOUSY MINX, WHAT DID I EVER DO? And what happened to ‘blame Andrew’?

  • Mark Bisone

    Plenty of those, from what I can tell. But do they ever really use them correctly? Movie He-Man seems more interested in shooting robots with lazerths.

  • Sully

    Andrew is in a perpetual state of blame. Where’s the fun in that?

    Not to change the subject, but I do like the japanese eye enhancer in your profile pic. Does it come in blue?

  • I wanted to be Raphael. He’s the coolest even though his… HEY, YOU TRICKED ME! I ain’t mad no more. Come here you lovable scamp.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    The thword is just there to give him the power. https://youtu.be/WNizeBoouCM?t=52s

  • Now I Get It

    I like how he used to feature her in particular bits onstage. It wasn’t often, but it wasn’t the typical husband-wife stuff. And I can’t remember the joke ever being on her. From My Weakness is Strong:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvbiGp_Evgo

  • Sully

    You look bigger in your profile pic.

    http://i.imgur.com/avKxrvt.jpg

  • Mark Bisone

    Infinitely more disturbing in Finnish. It sounds like he just ordered the start of Ragnarok.

  • Mark Bisone

    With great power comes questionable wardrobe changes.

  • Earth

    Currently listening to Pre Rec’s most recent livestream with Rich and Jack fanboying over superhero characters.

    It’s more embarrassing than Rich being a He-Man hipster.

  • That is the wimpiest voice I ever heard. Would not the Finnish He-Man get special sauna powers and use a bunch of twigs as a weapon?

  • Sully

    There’s a reason comments were disabled on that video. Holy hell.

  • Heh. White people. Or in this case, whitest people.

  • The Darksouls one?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the shit one.

  • Earth
  • Sully

    The Finns take cracka to a whole new level of whack.

  • AKA classic Pre Rec

  • dollar store cashier wife

    AKA the only PreRec!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Heey! I’m not that white. *pulls up sleeve* Oh…

  • 30+ people speculating about comic books…. my manboobs acke.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    The way they claim that Marvel villains are somehow less cheesy than DC ones reminded me of those Sega Genesis “Blast Processing” commercials.

  • Rich builds a PC was good tou. And Jays streams and Mike sh*tting his pants. A+

  • Earth

    I had to switch it off. Hearing Rich actually out-and-out Marvel fanboying unironically was just too much.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    The same guy also dubbed Daisuke and the titular character in Silver Fang. For that he’s appropriately wimpy, though. Just ignore missing the lip sync here and there: https://youtu.be/PTMVfLZS-EQ?t=25s

  • Well He-Man is ayrean and Finns are the purest of the bunch and I understand Hitl[REDACTED]

    Remarks do not represent the views of Cannes.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “Dr. Doom is so much more complex”

    Like, for 95% of the character’s history, he’s essentially Dr. Evil without being tongue in cheek.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Jay,Jessi and Mike are the best part of a ‘gaming’ stream. Talk about irony.

  • Commander X

    “I blame you for my face getting jacked up and my having to wear this mask, Richards! So says DOOM!”

    Doom is a total ham, really.

  • Earth

    Thanos is waaaay better than Darkseid, cos like, he blows up the universe, like, five times! That’s way more complex than that other space emperor god guy.

  • Mark Bisone

    Wait, is Rich Evans the He-Man fan? I thought it was Mike. I seem to recall him talking about wanting to film a He-Man reboot. Often hard to tell these hackfrauds apart, though.

  • Overall care and effort put into it: negative 10. The shittiest thing I heard/watched as a kid were the ones where the original English voices were left in the background of the dubbing. Used to be so angry when we rented those VHS’.

  • Earth
  • There are giant foxes? *whimper*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    In hindsight the shitty dubs is what makes me love them more. It makes them so much more entertaining.

  • That’s probably true for every superhero out there.

  • Earth

    Rich is the He-Man hipster who hates Prince Adam because he liked He-Man before Prince Adam was a thing. This is actually true.

    Mike’s the one who wants to make a He-Man movie.

  • Mark Bisone

    I suppose Del Toro will probably make one first, one of these days. Seems up his alley.

  • Sully

    Telling them apart has always been an issue.

    http://i.imgur.com/YGm87vq.jpg

  • Mark Bisone

    Mike, if you ever do get to helm the He-Man reimagaboot, be sure to include this fellow. He appears to have guns installed in his knees, chest and face.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xl_K_VaI8Aw

  • Palpatine
  • Sully

    I had just about every He-Man action figure back in the 80s, but never Rio-Blast. As a child he creeped me out. The anatomy of his weaponry made my skin crawl. “Oh my god his kneecap folded under and a gun popped out!!!”

  • Sully

    I had Fisto… the dirtiest name in the He-Man roster.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m gonna be honest. For me, comics are more about the visuals than about the actual stories/characters. Dr. Doom is indeed one of the coolest (in that ridiculous comicbook way) looking villains. This, coming from someone that thinks most Kirby designs are an eye-sore. Darkseid being another exception. I guess I find bad guys in miniskirts intimidating… hopefully there are no freudians around.

  • Mark Bisone

    Didn’t he get shot by a Boba Fett?

  • Like Icare

    Sure sure. Complex. Uhuh. Like that time… ah let’s have Tippy-Toe tell it.
    Sounds much better that way. Particularly the “Fuck you, you fat and lazy manchild” part.

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maijoc7Sgw1qd6kpno1_1280.jpg

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Agreed. Dr. Doom is the comic book version of Admiral Bone to Pick. This makes him fun.

    But to say with a straight face that he’s “complex” as related to DC villains of the exact same makeup is just silly.

    This is when Marvel shills come at me with “YOU DARE!?”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Wait. Squirrel Girl actually transforms into a squirrel? I thought it was just someone that dressed as a squirrel and had squirrel-like powers, whatever that means.

  • tOmy`

    Here is a little story.

    Couple of years back when I started working as a translator, I always wanted to work on Mythbusters. A year after my first translation, I was offered my very first episode of this incredible show. Throughout the years, I have been working on many of them and, to be very honest, I never spent more time with anything else. Tireless hours of trying to bring the jokes to life, understanding all the experiments and physics and what have you…

    Needless to say, I learned a lot.

    And as of today, I just finished translating the very last episode of this show. I cannot even describe how proud (and douchey) I feel because of that. For couple of years now, this will be the only official translation airing in my nation and I am super stoked that I was able to help with the send off of one of the most beloved and celebrated shows on TV.

    I guess, what I am saying is: SUCK IT!!!!!!

    Oh and: Would recommend, obviously.

  • You’re getting more unlikeable by the minute. You’ll never have an awesome mullet like real men.

  • Mark Bisone

    Alright, Stoklasa, here’s the script I have in mind: We do He-Man as a satirical action-comedy, in the tradition of Don Quixote.

    Our “He-Man” is basically a big, lovable dummy, who runs around during theaction scenes yelling and theatrically twirling his sword, but accomplishing nothing. Whenever he actually does something — push over a mountain, punch down a house, set a crop field on fire — it only serves to make each situation worse, forcing his assortment of carnival freakshow friends to use all of their guts, ingenuity and horrific mutations to put a stop to the threat. In between such bouts, they must endure He-Man’s insane ramblings and ego-trips, while they journey towards their final battle with Skeletor.

    Then, at the very end, we can have a Jack Burton-esque twist, where He-Man actually does do something amazing to save the day. That, of course, is the one thing all the bards and heralds wind up singing about, and therefore the only thing the Eternean people will remember. Our heroic freaks, meanwhile, fade into obscurity, eventually succumbing to bitterness, alcoholism and the lonesome grip of Death.

    I can send you a spec in about a month.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Palpatine

    No, that was the Conehead guy.

  • Bubs

    Who would hire you to translate anything besides the label on a bottle of booze?

    #LoveYou

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’s the plot twist. All of his stories is just him exercising his creativity in made up shit after 9 vodka gimlets.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Fisto gets his ass handed to him by you.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    As per you recommendation, I shall start translating Mythbusters into Czechoslovakian immediately.

  • Earth

    Fuck superheroes. I miss the days when super powers made people freaks, not heroes.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/gc7dTsDNcIATu/giphy.gif

  • Embodied

    I miss the days when a super virus turned scientist into monsters not into freaks. *cough* Resident Evil *cough*

  • Embodied

    DS3 is the bomb! If it hadn’t the brilliant DLCs I would strongly advice skip the weird DS2 and start after DS1 directly with DS3. It keept all the good things or made them even better. It’s like coming home. At Christmas!

  • Embodied

    That’s called a tsundere you ignorant frog. First she steps you, then she ….loves you. Yeah.That’s the word. *cough* BTW you would be worshipped as a god there. First of you are a talking frog and in addition fat like a sumo wrestler. Girls without end.

  • tOmy`

    Slovaks.

    Seriously.

    Explains a lot, huh?

  • Like Icare

    What? Like Splinter in Ninja Turtles?

  • OH MY GOD! WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIS FACEEE!!?

  • Did you see the other one? EXTENDAR? More like ERECTOR.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We all wanted to fuck She Ra. Even has children you did.

  • Like Icare

    Oh… so now when someone complains about that particular translation – we know who to blame.

  • Like Icare

    Not that I know of. Checks. No. No transformation. Just squirrly parts.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel_Girl#Powers.2C_abilities.2C_and_equipment

  • Deep.

  • Should have used a proper moisturizer.

  • Like Icare

    All humanoid female characters on Masters of the Universe had great bodies and prominent tits.

    Apart from Shadow Weaver who’s wearing a burka so you can’t really be sure.

  • Damn, son. I bet even Orko has trouble with hiding his boner under his robe. http://www.frankshemanpage.net/magical01.JPG

  • Like Icare

    Orko prefers blonds. Who float.
    Then again they all float on his planet.
    http://he-man.wikia.com/wiki/Dree_Elle

  • Captain Prickhard

    Well done and congratulations. You even did the last few seasons? When they cut the budget and the show got a bit stale, IMO?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’s some weird shit. I guess it might work better for furries.

  • Awww ain’t that cute? Their younglings wear baseball caps. http://he-man.wikia.com/wiki/Yukkers

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    The audio is too low on this commentary. Fuck movies. Also, Jay makes the most awkward segues into giving us hipster movie trivia. I’d still hit it though.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Fuck decibels.

  • Are those similar to imbeciles?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    tshi.

  • Jiff_Sampson

    You frauds! I want my %$#@!*& Plinkett!!!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Similar to poor person with no fancy phone or iPod to adjust the problem.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Neil Breen is still filming his segment.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Yeah and I want my MTV but I’m shit outta luck just like you.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Yeah, I’m one of the few who really enjoys the Pre-Rec streams. But I’ve been skipping the last weeks since I’m tired of listening to BvS and superhero talk lately.

    I guess, I won’t avoid watching Captain America 3.

  • Sully

    What is “%$#@!*?”

    So many possibilities!!

  • Sully
  • Sully

    …and/or trimmed his nails.

  • Jiff_Sampson

    I was thinking ‘pictish’

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I can hack into any pizza roll at anytime.

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    YAY SCIENCE, tOmy and SPLOSIONS!

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    fuck the slovak’s, Czech is the cool part.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mullet! Mullet! Mullet!

  • NOT! andrew thompson

    I was just insulting them…. ooops.