Transformers: Dark of the Moon


flattr this!

'
  • Pingback: Half in the Bag: Transformers 3 and upcoming Feeding Frenzy screening |

  • Pingback: Revenge of the Dark of the Moon's Revenge | The Long Game

  • R_ocolet

    Fucking brilliant.

  • http://www.mmorpg-center.com/ George

    om my god, the ending was … as bad as those Michael Bay Transformers movies:)

  • Jay-M-

    I liked when they brought up the old adage; Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I saw Transformers-1, and would never see Transformers 2 or 3, or any other Michael Bay movie ever again. It was the worst movie experience of my life, and I’m just an average guy. The cartoon from the 80′s had more interesting characters with more depth and better, more intelligent plot and motives of the characters. I would rather watch someone rolling around in poop and throw up. LOL

    • http://twitter.com/Samtertainment Samuel Pérez García

      Actually, Transformers 1 was fun. It was Transformers 2 that began the horribleness (it’s actually the worst one). 3 wasn’t as fucked as 2 but it was really bad too. The last hour is literally all one action sequence, which is best described by the dragging of the shit and vomiting sequence in this review.

  • Jakoporeeno

    Transformers 3: The dark moon rises

  • positivelySlime

    Fagshenanigans!

  • lumplstiltskin

    I had to pause the video I laughed so hard at “fagschenanegains”

  • Math-Jim

    Best part is when he takes the time to open the “Eyewitness” box to throw up in it. It’s a VCR game from 1985…

  • Mr. Dick

    Autobot-Land. oh for fuck’s sake.

  • pooty

    didn’t watch the whole movie? can’t review it

    • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.westgate.100 Daniel Westgate

      The point is that in 2:30 hours nothing of consequence happens, as shown by the fact that the start and end are almost completely unrelateable and what is relatable is the same. Moon. Smash. Boom.

  • http://www.facebook.com/robin.graves.92775 Robin Graves

    John Malkovich’s Malkovich is John Malkovich’s John Malkovich Malkovich.

  • http://www.facebook.com/MaaShinn Matthew Shannon

    eveything is terrible… HIPSTER CULTURE! fuck.

  • WhuWhu

    Was hoping for a better review guys, you usually do awesome, but splitting up the watching half of the movie each you spend more time talking about what the other missed. This movie sucks and this review needed to punch it in the nose

  • disqus_FocX9fayp3

    Why is there blood on their floor?

  • DBSLAYER7

    Rule one of the internet: Don’t drink or eat anything while watching a Mr. Plinkett review.

  • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.westgate.100 Daniel Westgate

    It got to the point where I felt I might vomit myself.

    • Liquidus

      So you did watch Transformers 3.

      • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.westgate.100 Daniel Westgate

        Yeah. Then I tried to show my girlfiend and 40 minutes in I showed her the run time and she demanded we shut it off.

      • Jordan

        Nice avatar, Bro!

        Fire and Blood!

  • DBSLAYER7

    The real review starts a t 23:32

  • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.westgate.100 Daniel Westgate

    Then it should be an hour and a half of robots fighting.

    • http://twitter.com/Samtertainment Samuel Pérez García

      It WAS an hour and a half of robots fighting… after an hour of set up!

  • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.westgate.100 Daniel Westgate

    My favorite part is how you describe it perfectly as if it were a G movie for 3 year olds.

  • http://www.facebook.com/LovelessDogg Felipe Chavez

    I honestly couldn’t tell if they were being serious or not, because everything they talked about sounds more like they didn’t actually watch the movie at all. I understood it completely and had no problem at all with it. Oh, well. I’ll just keep watching these videos because I think everything they say is hilarious anyway.

    • Jack Dunn

      I agree with you. In the RLM style, you must watch the piece fully and then destroy it from a microscopic level. The whole reason they watched it in halves was to joke about the simplicity of the story; which blew up in their face since they had trouble figuring it all out. They should have played it straight. Especially with such a big film issue like this.

      • Alex Lee

        I think it’s their general hatred for Michael Bay that kept them from watching it all the way through, especially since the last two were nonsensical with no real characters in it. I remember watching the first one thinking “I have no reason to care about the humans in this story.”

  • seppo

    And in this episode Half in the Bag became officially awesome! It was only kinda good before this…

  • Gavin

    Mike’s face at the start of the review.

  • John Doe

    Disliking a movie isn’t what makes you a snob. Calling people who like a movie “shiteaters” is what makes you a snob. And before anyone say anything, I don’t like those movies either. I’m just not into this bullshit world-view that says that the ways people spend their free time define them as people.

    As sophisticated as you people like to think you are compared to the average movie-goer, the lot of you are just a bunch of self-satisfied groupthinkers.

    • RMCarpenter

      Couldn’t agree more. For example, I love Nolan, and his Dark Knight films are amazing, but his fans tend to be pretentious pricks.

  • jroldo

    http://hugelol.org/lol/81601?comment=success

    i thought this was interesting, anyone its a gif of a recycled image in transformers from ‘the island’

  • David Nugent

    The Requiem Mass was perfect for this.

  • Russ2553

    Mike and Jay,

    I can offer only one word to describe your work on this episode:

    Brilliant.

    You guys remind me of the spirit that Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell had in their early days of film making. Keep up the good work.
    Best duel meaning ending I’ve seen in years. Be proud of yourselves. I’ve not laughed harder in decades!

    • glacier

      Is it possible to laugh over your own laughter? Somehow I managed it in the last four minutes of this review. Thank you, Mike and Jay and Chris for making my evening.

  • Max

    The shaky cam while the whole vomit scene is just 100% “michael bay approved” perfect.

  • guest

    Inception and the Dark Knight ARE over-rated. Remember: less-shitty doesn’t mean good. Inception literally has worse character development than Transformers 3.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000651399507 John C. Westray

      Do you know what a character is? Do you know what development means?

      • ConsiderPhlebas

        He doesn’t know what ‘literally’ means.

        • AC

          what’s “means”?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Rbblock Reuben Isuck Andsodoyou

    I would always try practical effects over CGI. Even if the effects don’t look super real, as long as they look good they will always be better than CGI. I think there can be a middle ground between the two. Christopher Nolan favors practical effects over CGI, so he’ll use real models to incorporate with his visual effects. It would have been very easy to just do a CGI Tumbler or Batwing, but no. He decide to use the real thing and use CGI to blend it in to the real life environments.

  • Dr.Killinger

    Just a word, since I don’t give a fuck how long ago you posted. There are two people in the world: those who get the joke, and those who think it is for “entertainment purposes only”

  • Nick

    mikes face when they cut to them after the montage in the beginning is why i love red letter media

    • Nick again

      or rather, *before* the little transformer trailer

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/William-Crafton/100001283161207 William Crafton

    Transformers 3: Annie Hall. LMAO

  • peter

    The “dark of the moon” is defined as a phase (approximately three days) when the light of the moon is obscured, and thus absent (i.e. a no-moon time), and precedes the new moon and the beginning of a new lunar cycle. Symbolically, it represents a time of inner stillness and contemplation, and preparedness for a new beginning.

    http://gossipscentral.com

  • http://www.positivelyaware.com/ Dr. Zee

    Thank you!

    I have never met a single person who’s seen this movie that said, “Why would they make a family film where the hero blows his mentors head into chunks while he begs for mercy on the ground?”

    I think By the time that happened, most people had either totally lost interest, or couldn’t remember what the movie was about, to process the fact that they’d just witness a cold blooded execution of a close friend in a family film.

    Just totally bizarre, senseless, violent and stupid.

  • anon

    there is one really good thing about Transformer’s movie and is mixing sound

  • chuk

    I saw this movie. I love good movies. I pad to see this. Im so sorry. Please forgive me.

    • chuk

      *Paid*

      • Stef

        “Paid.”

    • omgnoway

      then may god have mercy on your soul.

  • NegPrimer

    Speaking as someone who enjoyed this movie, and found Dark Knight to be over-rated, I’ll give a reason. It’s pretty simple actually. Transformers is dumb schlock. It knows it is, and doesn’t try to be anything more. Dark Knight was pretentious, and pretended to be more important than it actually was. You might say the whole “you may lose your way, but we will guide you” is cheesy, but “He’s the hero we need, not the one we deserve” was just as lame.

    Also, Dark Knight is overrated because if I’m talking to someone and say “I didn’t really care for Dark Knight”, their reaction is “why do you hate everything? What do you have against good cinema? What is wrong with you?” If I say the same thing about Transformers, their reaction is “yeah, who did?” or “eh, it was alright.”

    When a bit of media hits a level where you are considered damaged because you don’t like it, then it’s almost certainly overrated.

    • Martín Galarza Flores

      Like Mike Stoklasa once said:

      “No matter how good a film is, it will always be ‘bad’. It will always fail to live up to the incredibly huge expectations.”

      HiTB have said things like this multiple times. When a filmmaker makes movies with heart and soul, or with compelling story, or just clever movies (that aren’t necessarily too smart) their movies are always “overrated”, and those directors are always “overrated hacks”.

      So, The Dark Knight is overrated because people disagree with you? Oh, ok.

      • NegPrimer

        No, the Dark Knight is overrated because it’s considered unacceptable to not like it. Transformers is completely acceptable to hate, and thus is not overrated.

        It’s not that the movie is good or bad, or one is better or worse than the other. It’s not that people disagree with me. It’s that I’m made out to be a villain because I merely though The Dark Knight was “alright” rather than a masterpiece of modern cinema.

        • Martín Galarza Flores

          You really need to watch The Dark Knight again, and the watch other movies that have recently been released, considered “big” movies. You know, Transformers, G.I. Joe, Hangover, any Adam Sandler film, Fast and Furious. And then ask yourself if The Dark Knight is “alright”.

          It may not be too intelligent, or ambitious, but it’s a really good and well-done movie. It has solid performances, compelling story, well-paced script and actual practical effects, which is a relief considering everything is done on a green or blue screen now. It never tries to be something that it’s not. It’s no Citizen Kane, or something like that, but it’s a really good movie.

          Movies like this are a sigh of relief, specially when we’re surrounded with obvious cash-grabs, and that’s sad, really, but it’s true.

          • NegPrimer

            You’re really just kind of proving my point. I don’t think it’s a bad movie, I think it’s alright. I wouldn’t want to own it, but if I walked in a room where people were watching it, I wouldn’t tell them to turn it off. I have problems with it, and don’t find it enjoyable. Why is that a problem? Why do you feel the compulsive need to try to convince me that my opinion is wrong on this?

          • Martín Galarza Flores

            Did you even read my whole comment before bitching about how you’re right and everyone else is wrong withour offering any arguments?

          • guyinthehat

            It is a very well done film. But I agree with NegPrimer here in that I thought it was just alright. When compared to most modern blockbusters The Dark Knight is indeed a breath of fresh air.

            Compare the adulation of TDK with Begins and Rises. To me they’re all very well executed films (Begins being my favorite) but people are quicker to point out the flaws of both Begins and Rises and write off any of the similar flaws in Dark Knight. To me that’s what makes it overrated, the fact that people hold it so high that they’re completely willing to ignore its flaws or completely dismiss anyone who says anything that isn’t praise.

          • Martín Galarza Flores

            I’m not one of those people. The Dark Knight was not a perfecte movie. It had its problems. But hell, every movie does. Even Citizen Kane does.

            There’s a difference between overrated and overexposed. The Dark Knight is not overrated. The fact that it’s so good that some people get angry when someone says it’s bad doesn’t make it overrated. It’s just a movie that is so famous, that it became a cultural icon. If Batman Begins brought Batman back in film after the Batman and Robin fiasco, The Dark Knight proved Batman could be a really successful franchise (it made a billion).

            The story was more complicated this time, not just “bad guy wants to spray gas all over the city” plot. Not saying Batman Begins was bad, but it’s plot regarding the villain was fairly simple. Now it isn’t. The Joker brought Gotham down to its knees. Heath Ledger’s portrayal and the movie’s script are what makes The Dark Knight more than a superhero movie, but rather more a political, thought-provoking and clever thriller.

            The Dark Knight and Spider-Man 2, with maybe The Dark Knight Rises and The Avengers (and also Daredevil Director’s Cut) are the greatest comicbook movies ever made. We don’t get things like that very often. These movies have brought superheroes and comicbooks back to being relevant again. And I’m thankful for that.

          • guyinthehat

            You have a point there about being overrated and I will agree with your point on Dark Knight’s plot being more complex and thought provoking than the admittedly silly plot in Begins. I guess I just have a mildly different definition of overrated than you do.

            Although I want to ask; what are your opinions on Sin City, Blade 2 and Watchmen in terms of great comic book/graphic novel adaptations? Do you think they stand up with the films you listed, are in the middle or just plain bad?

          • Martín Galarza Flores

            I have mixed opinions on Watchmen. The things is, it was the most unexpected movie ever. You always get movies about the X-Men, Spider-Man, Superman, Batman… but no one would ever think a movie about lesser known characters would be any good (like Elektra, Ghost Rider, Man-Thing weren’t).

            That being said, I believe Watchmen is great. The visuals by Zack Snyder are awesome. The 4 hour Ultimate Cut just makes it better, unlike some movies where longer means unnecessarily stretched out. It is, in my opinion, the comicbook movie that is most faithful to the source material. That characteristic, however, is not necessarily good, or even needed to make a good movie (for example, The Dark Knight Trilogy)

            Its problems come from the fact that it’s a movie specifically for nerds, or for people who are familiar with the Watchmen original comicbooks, which not many people are. I enjoyed a lot, but for a movie that is based on something to work, you need to be able to understand and follow it without having previous knowledge of the source material, and sometimes the movie can change it if it makes the movie better.

            Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to watch Sin City, and I really can’t remember Blade II. I do own Sin City (just bought it, to prepare for A Dame to Kill For), and I’m looking forward to watching it, since it has been so praised. I never cared much for Blade, since I don’t really like him in the comics and the movies I just never watched them.

            What do you think of these movies?

          • guyinthehat

            I have yet to see either extended cut of Watchmen sadly.

            I agree, it isn’t really a proper adaptation. It’s nice that Snyder stayed as faithful to the material as he did, but it is hard to digest for those who don’t already know about the source material.

            Sin City, like Watchmen, is an extremely faithful adaptation of Frank Miller’s work. Though I’d say Sin City transitions better to the big screen due to the fact that it’s a series of loosely connected stories, vs one big story.

            Watchmen is probably my favorite adaptation of anything, it has its weak points but I walked out of the original cut thoroughly pleased with the final product. I imagine I’ll enjoy it even more when I see the full 3 something hour cut of the film, something I’m really looking forward to.

            I wasn’t a huge fan of the first Blade film, it was an alright flick and I do appreciate that it helped start the newest wave of comic book adaptations. The third one was crap. But Blade II was just perfect. Though I imagine my adoration of that film has less to do with the quality of the actual movie and more to do with the fact that Guillermo del Toro directed it.

          • Martín Galarza Flores

            Just so you know, there’s the Director’s Cut, which is kind of 3 hours, and the Ultimate Cut, which is the same thing as Director’s but with Tales of the Black Freighter added. it becomes 4 hours.

            It’s nice to hear that of Sin City. I’ll definitely watch it any time before A Dame To Kill For.

            Watchmen, to me, proved that fanboys can never be totally satisfied with the product. You get The Dark Knight Trilogy, and there’s always some idiot who says “It’s so stupid, the Joker didn’t cut his smile in the comics” or “the Scarecrow doesn’t wear a hat! This movie sucks!” or “This is so dumb, Bane doesn’t have Venom”. And then they get movies like Watchmen and then they say “It’s too much like the comics, give me something I haven’t seen before!”

            I believe that it doesn’t matter how far or how close to the source material you get, as long as you make a good movie, write a compelling script, cast good actors who bring life to the characters, and have an interesting atmosphere to the movie. That’s all I ask. If given the choice, I would prefer the movie to be close to the source material, but let’s face it, we don’t really get a choice. And look at The Dark Knight Trilogy, or X2, or First Class, or Iron Man 3 Those movies aren’t really that much like the comics they’re based on, and they’re great movies.

  • Jack Dunn

    The Dark Knight MIGHT be over rated. OK. But the Joker’s performance was golden. He was the one carrying that movie. If you take the joker out of The Dark Knight, then it would have ended up in the same bin as Begins and Rises.

    • Otto Torrens

      I wanted to give a +1 but I liked Begins :c

      • Jack Dunn

        I never said it was bad. Just not golden. Begins at least had one crazy villain. So I have to give it that. I think the Nolan- Batman movies do better with crazy villains in them to balance out the seriousness. (And, Yes I Know Its Batman, but bare with me.) Ultimately, Joker asked the question I was asking the Nolan movies: “Why so Serious?”.

    • Martín Galarza Flores

      No. You would’ve still had the other actors besides the Joker that are really underrated because of Heath Ledger: Aaron Eckhart, Christian Bale, Gary Oldman…

      And the script for the Joker was still awesome. Even if the actor had been bad, his lines would’ve still been really perfect and scary.

      And there’s the storyline outside of the Joker: Harvey Dent taking out organized crime, Batman considering hanging his mantle after realizing Gotham needs a hero with a face, the derailment and corruption of the White Knight, the death of Rachel and its impact on both Bruce Wayne and Two-Face, the idea of chance and true justice…

      It’s true, Heath Ledger was awesome as the Joker and he added a lot of depth to the character and the film, but The Dark Knight would’ve still been awesome without him.

      • Jack Dunn

        I watched the Confused Mathew Review of that movie, trust me, I understand why it was good. But my address said “MIGHT” for a reason. I was just putting down some of the hate. And I also said his performance was golden. Everything else you mentioned was silver.

        • Martín Galarza Flores

          “No matter how good a film is, it will always be bad. It will always fail to live up to the incredibly huge expectations”

          -Mike Stoklasa.

          It’s sad that people dismiss obviously terrible movies as normal, and then label good and compelling movies as “overrated”. I thought Mike and Jay were exaggerating. Now I see that they were right.

          • Jack Dunn

            After rereading some of my comments, I think you might have got me all wrong through text translation. The Dark Knight is my favorite action movie. (Period) The only reason I put “MIGHT” in my comment was to appeal to those with different opinions.
            The capitalization of the text didn’t elude to how “It is” over rated, but rather to how I’m only suggesting the idea for those who don’t think the movie is that great. I thought we could all agree that the joker was awesome.
            Secondly, by “putting down some hate” I wasn’t admitting to being a trolly douche, I was trying to end some of the turmoil through a consensus, highlighting heath ledger’s performance.
            I understand how you might have got the idea that I, not only, deemed this movie overrated, but also serve as the epitome of the quick-judging movie crowd. But the truth is that I like this movie I watched at least 2 hours worth of reviews on it, and I try to be thoughtful about other peoples opinions. :)

            Unless there wasn’t an misunderstanding. In that case- HHFATASSDJFUCJSJKNIGGAENKFKJ!!!!!MKSNDSJNUFUFUFUFUFUFFUF -_-… JHUYDGJHX forkin-the-brainSJDJYDBCUNT NDS HAIRCONDITIONER TREES! GET OUTTA MY POPCORN BAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

    • Mike Hawkson Yu

      He wasn’t the only thing carrying the movie. The reason people call it one of the best movies of the decade is because everything has a deeper meaning to it. Not to say that Ledger’s performance wasn’t golden but that it was the sum of its parts that made it good. Even if a movie has one golden actor but the other things don’t work, it can end up being comically bad.

  • Serge

    Hey guyz, I think that Man of Steel is not that far from the top of the curve Jay was talking about. I don’t think you can go much further than that, so maybe the next 2 or 3 big ass gazillion $ movies produced may still pass but without a compelling story (or even a good one) and simply good written characters, extremely fast action with loads of CGI can only distract you so much (even with fucking vibrating seats, 3D, 250 frames per second or the new shit that’s coming in Asia). Or maybe, some young directors will get out of film school with great ideas and they’ll manage to change the public view on movies… I don’t know, but the way things are going, mainstream cinema seems to be on a suicide run or acting as a drug addict…

    • Adolf

      It’s just turned into a well oiled money making machine, they make movies that ensure maximum profit through product placement and overseas audiences. They don’t care how shitty the films are as long as they’re making money, I think major films are dead forever.

  • Allan Bøgeskov Jensen

    Half In the Bag: No fucks are given!

  • Tob

    You guys need to put just this last segment on the front page to make sure everyone sees it!

  • JAKMACK

    GET BACK TO WORK YA LAZY PRICKZ!

  • geoff

    I laughed so hard at the ending that I literally had to wipe tears from my face.

  • Dr. Zanzibar Allan Dunks

    Transformers 3: Annie Hall was better than the entirety of Transformers: Dark of the Moon

  • dennis larsen

    i love this:)

  • dennis larsen

    now make a review of all van damme films, twillight, the matrix.

  • stripeyunderpants

    “Well, what more did you expect from [whatever bad movie we all watched]?” I expect a compelling story, characters that I care about, and special effects that don’t overwhelm the movie, that’s what. I don’t care if it’s about giant robots killing each other, or comic book characters fighting space aliens, there’s no reason why it can’t be well done. So many people seem to think it’s okay not only to settle for poor quality, but to pay a lot of money for it. I am scared to think of what Star Wars VII is going to look like. When it comes out, I am going to read as many reviews as I can, including spoilers, before spending my money at the theater on what could well be just another crapfest with robots and green screens.

  • TapewormBike

    Cute.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Did you forgot to take your brain medicine today?

    • TapewormBike

      Look at the guy, come on, let him have fun with big words and small thoughts:)

  • Giampaolo Bubu Mannucci

    The ending is like a modern Monty Python and also sums up the movie pretty well :D

  • Morris

    Literally in tears of laughter from the ending.

  • Jason Wallace

    Probably the best way to review throw-away, cash-grab Hollywood movies. The first and latter half hardly ever relate.

  • http://www.google.net/ Kenny

    Shit.

'

Back to Top