Pingback: Half in the Bag: Summer Movie Roundup, plus new poster for sale! |
I wouldn’t recommend it to grandma, because she won’t know the fuck what is going on! LOL
Considering how much nitpicking that was done on the Star Wars prequel reviews, I was really looking forward to seeing First Class get ripped apart. How disappointing.
Absolutely NOTHING makes sense about the movie. It’s the laziest written screenplay since, well, the Star Wars prequels (and maybe Signs).
-How did Sebastian Shaw transform from an old German guy into Kevin Bacon 20 years later? He can’t do that in the comics. I’d be able to accept that he can in the movie, but they didn’t bother to explain it. Or maybe I blinked and missed it.
-Why didn’t magneto just kill Shaw the moment his powers awoken instead of just making all the metal in the room go apeshit?
-What did Magneto do all those years in the concentration camp after his powers awoke?
-What was the point of Riptide and Azazel? They had no dialogue, not to mention no one cares about them in the comics. In fact, everybody hates Azazel for screwing up Nightcrawler’s backstory.
-What kind of lameass “club” is made up of 4 members?
-What did Havoc add to the movie that his much more well-known brother Cyclops couldn’t have?
-Why did they make Banshee some stupid stoner American kid when he’s supposed to be a dignified Irishman?
-Why was Angel in the movie? She’s not well known in the comics and didn’t add anything interesting. She just betrayed the team at the first possible opportunity.
-Why was Darwin in the movie? He just died in 2 seconds, and isn’t really that popular in the comics anyway.
-The stupidest part of all was the Hellfire Club’s plot. Nuke the world so that mutants can take over? Darwin was one of the most powerful mutants in the movie and he couldn’t even survive eating Havoc’s energy ball or whatever. Obviously a worldwide nuclear holocaust would kill roughly the same proportional amount of mutants as it would humans, and there wouldn’t be anything to take over other than cinders.
That’s just scratching the surface on the bullshit of this movie. For shame, HITB, for shame.
Coming from a fan of the Uncanny X-men comics over the years, all of your nitpicks are trivial details. Every one of your examples is a “look at me, I read some X-men comics”.
Why not put Havoc, Angel, and Darwin in the movie? Charles and Magneto are making a first attempt at training a team of young mutants, these characters worked for the film. A more recognizable roster of x-men is unnecessary if Xavier and Magneto are the primary focus.
I was impressed Brian Singer and Matthew Vaughn pulled off Banshee in a movie at all. His character changes were made for the sake of telling a good story. Charles teaching an older irish gentleman to fly would not have been fun to see.
A Plinkett nitpick makes sense, callbacks to the source material only matter when they are fundamental to the story. Here’s an example, plinkett compares the charm of Han Solo’s character to the emptiness of Qui Gon Jinn to make a point. Whereas your nitpicking is irrelevant in a world of X-men comics filled with 600 plus issues of continuity, decades of Marvel retconning said continuity, and alternate universes like the ultimates, astonishing x-men, new x-men, x-factor, x-force ect.
I think hes right. What made the comics so good were the stories. To anyone who isnt aware of how good the original stories were, hey would probably think this is a good movie. If I didnt know a single thing about X-Men, I probably would have liked it. Aside from names, powers and time period, everything else is complete bullshit. How much would it piss you off if they made a Superman movie in which he was a government experiment created by Dr Lois Lane. In her attempt to create a super man, she accidentally made twins. One the epitome of perfection. Blonde hair, blue eyes named Kal, and his evil twin brother that got no powers but all brains named Lex.
How ridiculous does that sound? Well, THATS what they did to X-Men. Is this an extreme example? Not in the least if you were ever a fan of the comics.
That’s actually a great idea for a Superman movie…
I have to say, after reading every single point on your list… TWICE… not a single one made me say anything more than, “meh”. Criticism is about more than just saying, “I found a flaw… THIS MOVIE SUCKS”. Here’s a suggestion: stop watching movies. You’re no good at it.
The Hangover part 3 is coming.
I guess they’re doing the Police Academy profit margin ratio with this crap now.
except there is no michael winslow so there is no redeeming quality what so ever
“Sorry, we’re unable to play this episode.”
What tha-?? Give me the video internet, or *so* help me I shall slaughter your firstborn!
Fight Club ftw
Dude! First, you should not talk about it and second, you should not talk about it!
If you have Kevin Bacon in a submarine… go overboard.
I am happy to state that I will, when given the opportunity, take Mike’s advice!
Re: 20:00+ …I feel bad, I mean I agree but I feel bad. I personally sometimes like to go and see a movie out of the morbid curiosity whether or not the audience in the theatre is disappointed. Sometimes it happens on accident but other times (Resident Evil/Etc.) it just gives me a fun thrill; the entertainment is the audience not the motion picture.
I thought January Jones was fine. Not great, but fine. I did come into the movie with literally no expectations (because of the other X-Men movies), so that might be why I enjoyed First Class so much.
I laughed out loud at the opening bit with the Red Bull and beer
The hangover is just a sequal to dude wheres my car
If you teach a monkey to smoke.. it will smoke a Cigarette.
Someone please make a gif of Mike saying ”Look out, it’s the X-men!”
My wife was a gay Santa Claus, you insensitive prick!
People wonder why I hate X-Men First Class. This movie had no respect for the source material. Imagine a remake of Charlotte’s Web with Wilbur changed to a monkey. How badly did they disrespect the characters? Prof X and Magneto met while working in the same hospital, The Shadow King broke Xavier’s spine, Moira Mctaggart is a Scottish geneticist, not an American CIA agent, and the original lineup for the XMen was Cyclops, Beast, Iceman, Angel and Jean Grey.
And as what you consider canon for the X-Men is just one in a few different origin stories that Marvel published; why is this prequel so disrespectful ? The producers/writers/director did just what Marvel (or DC with their own super heroes) does all the time in order to revitalize their universe.
I can’t see or hear the phrase “God of Thunder” without immediately hearing Gene Simmons singing “and rock and ro-o-oll”. Is that a bad thing?
Making it basically the same movie also says a lot about the film-makers opinion of the audience for the first film. The first movie was sort of, what I’d call, D-bag candy. If they were hipp to the D-bags, they’d probably realize that D-bags don’t really know a good movie from a bad one, they just want what they expect.
those obvious lines of dialogue were Bryan Singer insisting on trying to ruin the movie….
I really X-men a lot. I feel like you guys did a good job of determining the pros and cons. I feel like any weakness in this movie is solely ls placed on Bryan Singer for insisting on being a control freak. I hated the other 3 xmen movies and He really didn’t leave Vaughn enough alone to make a completely stellar movie. But I would have to say it is the best xmen movie solely because of Mathew Vaughn.
Good thing January Jones isn’t returning for the next x-men.
“He has the voice of an angel.” Clearly, HANGOVER PART 3 stole that line/joke from you guys!
I don’t even want to consider that a joke. But when I was at the cinema and the trailer for that movie was shown, everybody laughed at that line. So the Zach Galifianakis character happens to be a really good singer. Ha ha. Am I a joyless asshole or is there really nothing funny about that? My theory is that people just laughed at that line because there was that silent pause afterwards, which people are conditioned to laugh at after thousands of trailers. Like dogs salivating when there’s not actually any food nearby, people laugh when there’s nothing funny.
Or I’m just a joyless asshole.
“People are conditioned to laugh”? You are certainly a pretentious asshole. Do you think everyone who is not you, or everyone who has different opinions from you, is just completely mindless? I’m not even defending The Hangover. I mean, it’s shit, but you … wow, man. Tell me you didn’t think that statement through.
Actually he is completely correct with that statement, in fact it’s psychology at it’s simplest form. The “joke” is the experiment with the audio stopping as the variable and the laugh being a conditioned response.
I think the joke they were trying to make in that trailer was that you assume it’s a small boy with a beautiful voice singing [which might even make you recall The Dark Knight Rises advertisements], then it’s revealed to be a grown man singing, diverting your expectation in a humourous way.
Personally, I found it slightly amusing, but I didn’t laugh once during that trailer you mentioned. I rolled my eyes more than I laughed.
That is the epic superhero called Bible-man.
well, at least the hangover was called ‘part 2′. That distinction makes me feel like its okay that its ‘the same thing but different’
The excessive use of Dutch angle shots makes Thor look more like Battlefield Earth, which is always a plus.
I just watched The Hangover part One because of a recommendation and it’s REALLY not funny. I don’t like “wacky” humor. It’s just people runing and screaming, it’s not clever. I think I can pass without ever seeing the second one.
I mostly agree on X-men First Class. Best X-men movie. But I must say what I like the most is exactly how “serious” it was!
I have noticed this: if you ae a big fan of anything with lots of backstory and history, you will always love the series and probably hate the movies. Star Trek the main example. What I see below are people who are mega xman fans who hate ALL the movies, despite the first two and this prequal doing very well with the critics. I suggest if a series was made on say HBO, said fans would love it, because it would be far more detailled and be more faithful to the comics. But you just can’t do that in a mainstream movie.
X-Fans would riot in the streets if they made the kind of movie Mike wants to see, because EVERYTHING in the X-Men must be a super-serious allegory of discrimination and oppression.
Not everything. Back in the good ol’ days, they were fighting alien empires, genocidal robots, and dinosaur people in a tropical jungle secluded in the Antarctic. And yeah, the stories were sprinkled with angst and allegory and whatnot, but they were still ridiculous and fun. To be honest, most comic fans I know would much rather see something like those made into movies than something trying to be super deep or serious.
Hold on…so there would be nation-wide riots if an X-Men movie had schlock in it? And, this might just be my ignorance talking, but how is a guy saying “It’s the X-Men! Get them!” an allegory for bigotry?
jay’s commentary about the dialogue is among my favorite moments of red letter media ever
I found the pregnancy video distracting.
the scene where Kevin Bacon came to draw the younger XMen into his ranks and it’s the not-white ones that went with him made me cringe.
Can you explain why?
because they were simply thrown in to give the cast a semblance of racial diversity for the first half.
Alas, X-Men First Class had a lot of production issues. It was rushed, has seen a lot of turnovers and Matthew Vaughn took up the project a year or so before releasing. Considering this, he did a brilliant job as well as the creative team. Plus it got a certain charm the previous X-Men movies lacked a lot, even if well-made (except for X3 & Wolverine Shitty Origins).
I’d like to see what they’ll do in Days of Future Past…
Hangover part 2 was by far the worst of the 3 it took it too far to the point where it stopped being funny
The intro where Mike is drinking beer and Red Bull as a lead in to the Thor review was so beyond perfect that I could hardly laugh. It was breathtaking.
Creepy sex looks.
He’s got the voice of an angel! Indeed. And the writing talent of a 60 years old retired accountant under LSD.
“When you’re in love, you are a gay Santa Claus!” Brilliant.
It needed to not take place on Earth. Humans simply didn’t have a place in that movie.
But oh well, we need to have a set-up for The Avengers movie and that matters more than the current movie apparently.
“There must be other people like me. There must be”
Don’t worry Jay, there are smart people out there, but there are also stupid people that the only thing they are looking for in a movie is poop jokes, pop culture references, and homosexual scenes.
“poop jokes, pop culture references” Exactly. That’s what made Mr. Plinkett so popular.
That should have been the film poster’s tag line
how come some of these videos work on somedays and on others dont. im trying to continue watching this episode as i only got halfway through, and now its saying it cant be played?
the drunk driving ad makes cops look creepy
did anyone catch the one frame as being the poster of fight club…irony
Yeah Hangover 2 truly is mind blowingly horrible. It really does warp your mind with it’s terribleness. I could not get over it for at least 2 days.
It only took me 4 years but I suddenly realised that Hangover was a rip-off of Dude, Where’s My Car
At this point I’m amazed it isn’t obligatory for either Michael Ironside or Harrison Ford to show up for dinner…maybe they’re waiting until Bruce Willis gets a bit older before they start having Hollywood stars randomly show up and teach 5th grade social studies for a day…
Hangover 2 is very unrealistic. Had they actually went to Thailand, they would have been shot in the head and thrown out the window. The police would see you have a bullet-hole, cover it up, put you in a bag, and say you killed yourself. DO NOT go there for vacation, the chances of tourist dying are drastically higher than other places.
Another stupid and untrue comment by…, oh, what a surprise.
Nice try Rama, try saving your fucking tourist industry for the Cambodians instead.
Wow, you’re a fucking idiot.
As someone living in Thailand I can tell you everything in the comment is a categorical lie.
Calm down there, foreign Cletus.
I love Mike’s Magneto voice. He needs to do voice-over for a supervillain in a cartoon.
If they wanted to go for a more dark, subversive tone in Hangover 2, they should have made our main three characters get black-out drunk at the funeral of Justin Bartha’s character.
I might be an asshole for pointing this out but the lighting is all fucked up in the wide shot.
I wish RLM went this deep all the time. The X-Men breakdown was especially good. And Mike was super drunk, which helps.
↑ Back to Top