I wouldn’t recommend it to grandma, because she won’t know the fuck what is going on! LOL
Dr. Muselgonazo
Considering how much nitpicking that was done on the Star Wars prequel reviews, I was really looking forward to seeing First Class get ripped apart. How disappointing.
Absolutely NOTHING makes sense about the movie. It’s the laziest written screenplay since, well, the Star Wars prequels (and maybe Signs).
-How did Sebastian Shaw transform from an old German guy into Kevin Bacon 20 years later? He can’t do that in the comics. I’d be able to accept that he can in the movie, but they didn’t bother to explain it. Or maybe I blinked and missed it.
-Why didn’t magneto just kill Shaw the moment his powers awoken instead of just making all the metal in the room go apeshit?
-What did Magneto do all those years in the concentration camp after his powers awoke?
-What was the point of Riptide and Azazel? They had no dialogue, not to mention no one cares about them in the comics. In fact, everybody hates Azazel for screwing up Nightcrawler’s backstory.
-What kind of lameass “club” is made up of 4 members?
-What did Havoc add to the movie that his much more well-known brother Cyclops couldn’t have?
-Why did they make Banshee some stupid stoner American kid when he’s supposed to be a dignified Irishman?
-Why was Angel in the movie? She’s not well known in the comics and didn’t add anything interesting. She just betrayed the team at the first possible opportunity.
-Why was Darwin in the movie? He just died in 2 seconds, and isn’t really that popular in the comics anyway.
-The stupidest part of all was the Hellfire Club’s plot. Nuke the world so that mutants can take over? Darwin was one of the most powerful mutants in the movie and he couldn’t even survive eating Havoc’s energy ball or whatever. Obviously a worldwide nuclear holocaust would kill roughly the same proportional amount of mutants as it would humans, and there wouldn’t be anything to take over other than cinders.
That’s just scratching the surface on the bullshit of this movie. For shame, HITB, for shame.
Coming from a fan of the Uncanny X-men comics over the years, all of your nitpicks are trivial details. Every one of your examples is a “look at me, I read some X-men comics”.
Why not put Havoc, Angel, and Darwin in the movie? Charles and Magneto are making a first attempt at training a team of young mutants, these characters worked for the film. A more recognizable roster of x-men is unnecessary if Xavier and Magneto are the primary focus.
I was impressed Brian Singer and Matthew Vaughn pulled off Banshee in a movie at all. His character changes were made for the sake of telling a good story. Charles teaching an older irish gentleman to fly would not have been fun to see.
A Plinkett nitpick makes sense, callbacks to the source material only matter when they are fundamental to the story. Here’s an example, plinkett compares the charm of Han Solo’s character to the emptiness of Qui Gon Jinn to make a point. Whereas your nitpicking is irrelevant in a world of X-men comics filled with 600 plus issues of continuity, decades of Marvel retconning said continuity, and alternate universes like the ultimates, astonishing x-men, new x-men, x-factor, x-force ect.
http://www.facebook.com/joshua.w.doucet Joshua William Doucet
I think hes right. What made the comics so good were the stories. To anyone who isnt aware of how good the original stories were, hey would probably think this is a good movie. If I didnt know a single thing about X-Men, I probably would have liked it. Aside from names, powers and time period, everything else is complete bullshit. How much would it piss you off if they made a Superman movie in which he was a government experiment created by Dr Lois Lane. In her attempt to create a super man, she accidentally made twins. One the epitome of perfection. Blonde hair, blue eyes named Kal, and his evil twin brother that got no powers but all brains named Lex.
How ridiculous does that sound? Well, THATS what they did to X-Men. Is this an extreme example? Not in the least if you were ever a fan of the comics.
proghead777
I have to say, after reading every single point on your list… TWICE… not a single one made me say anything more than, “meh”. Criticism is about more than just saying, “I found a flaw… THIS MOVIE SUCKS”. Here’s a suggestion: stop watching movies. You’re no good at it.
If you have Kevin Bacon in a submarine… go overboard.
I am happy to state that I will, when given the opportunity, take Mike’s advice!
Rudolf
Re: 20:00+ …I feel bad, I mean I agree but I feel bad. I personally sometimes like to go and see a movie out of the morbid curiosity whether or not the audience in the theatre is disappointed. Sometimes it happens on accident but other times (Resident Evil/Etc.) it just gives me a fun thrill; the entertainment is the audience not the motion picture.
ITcrowdDude
I thought January Jones was fine. Not great, but fine. I did come into the movie with literally no expectations (because of the other X-Men movies), so that might be why I enjoyed First Class so much.
Matt S
I laughed out loud at the opening bit with the Red Bull and beer
http://www.facebook.com/MaaShinn Matthew Shannon
The hangover is just a sequal to dude wheres my car
http://www.facebook.com/robin.graves.92775 Robin Graves
If you teach a monkey to smoke.. it will smoke a Cigarette.
Craig
Someone please make a gif of Mike saying ”Look out, it’s the X-men!”
CalamityCorp
My wife was a gay Santa Claus, you insensitive prick!
http://www.facebook.com/joshua.w.doucet Joshua William Doucet
People wonder why I hate X-Men First Class. This movie had no respect for the source material. Imagine a remake of Charlotte’s Web with Wilbur changed to a monkey. How badly did they disrespect the characters? Prof X and Magneto met while working in the same hospital, The Shadow King broke Xavier’s spine, Moira Mctaggart is a Scottish geneticist, not an American CIA agent, and the original lineup for the XMen was Cyclops, Beast, Iceman, Angel and Jean Grey.
Bongo
I can’t see or hear the phrase “God of Thunder” without immediately hearing Gene Simmons singing “and rock and ro-o-oll”. Is that a bad thing?
http://www.positivelyaware.com Josh Thorne
Making it basically the same movie also says a lot about the film-makers opinion of the audience for the first film. The first movie was sort of, what I’d call, D-bag candy. If they were hipp to the D-bags, they’d probably realize that D-bags don’t really know a good movie from a bad one, they just want what they expect.
http://www.facebook.com/colink11 Colin Kendig
those obvious lines of dialogue were Bryan Singer insisting on trying to ruin the movie….
http://www.facebook.com/colink11 Colin Kendig
I really X-men a lot. I feel like you guys did a good job of determining the pros and cons. I feel like any weakness in this movie is solely ls placed on Bryan Singer for insisting on being a control freak. I hated the other 3 xmen movies and He really didn’t leave Vaughn enough alone to make a completely stellar movie. But I would have to say it is the best xmen movie solely because of Mathew Vaughn.
Quonelly
Good thing January Jones isn’t returning for the next x-men.
Tino
“He has the voice of an angel.” Clearly, HANGOVER PART 3 stole that line/joke from you guys!
Lemon Aidez
I don’t even want to consider that a joke. But when I was at the cinema and the trailer for that movie was shown, everybody laughed at that line. So the Zach Galifianakis character happens to be a really good singer. Ha ha. Am I a joyless asshole or is there really nothing funny about that? My theory is that people just laughed at that line because there was that silent pause afterwards, which people are conditioned to laugh at after thousands of trailers. Like dogs salivating when there’s not actually any food nearby, people laugh when there’s nothing funny.
Or I’m just a joyless asshole.
AlcaldeEste
“People are conditioned to laugh”? You are certainly a pretentious asshole. Do you think everyone who is not you, or everyone who has different opinions from you, is just completely mindless? I’m not even defending The Hangover. I mean, it’s shit, but you … wow, man. Tell me you didn’t think that statement through.
http://www.facebook.com/daniel.rheaume.5 Daniel Rheaume
Actually he is completely correct with that statement, in fact it’s psychology at it’s simplest form. The “joke” is the experiment with the audio stopping as the variable and the laugh being a conditioned response.
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