Whoops, you guys stated that John Carter isn’t “high-brow, high-concept sci-fi.” Actually, John Carter IS high-concept sci-fi. A high concept movie is one for the masses; a low concept movie is one that’s more for a smaller, specific audience. Great review otherwise!
Not quite correct, describing a film as high concept simply means it has a premise that can be defined in a simple, succinct phrase. For example, a film like The Truman Show is high concept because its premise is easily described in the phrase “A man lives who has unknowingly lived his entire life on a reality TV show begins to question his reality”. Whether or not something is high concept or not has little to do with its target demographic.
Taylor Kitsch has no personality and is boring to watch, he just growls his lines. Not only that but this movie reminded me of Phantom Menace, like a CGI cartoon with a “story” so jumbled together it don’t make no sense, I could only watch a third of this stupid thing.
How is Jay not a scifi fan?
Plinket said in the reviews that he does not care what is in the books and expanded universe, and I assume that would include all that clone wars nonsense.
Plingo plango bot thorkus frango frang
This was an extremely boring film that I found myself looking elsewhere in the room to avoid watching much of the time. Much of the problem is that they did stray heavily from the source material which was a pretty simple story of a guy getting into the middle of a civil war and ending it with the help of some “savages”. Then he gets laid. That’s it. 150 pages. This mess, with the Therns and the dude with the glove and Carter’s hidden secret pain that wasn’t that interesting that it needed to be kept secret (basically Gladiator’s “dead family” motivation). I like one review I read that mentions the movie has no less than three introductions (Mars, Carter Resurrected, Carter in trouble with Walter White). All in all a pretty terrible film.
Why is John Carter able to jump 100ft into the air and swing 10-ton folders with ease? So unrealistic and just fake and stupid and disney. Sucked
The explanation in the books is that the planet is low gravity.
Mars is low gravity, but not enough. Assuming that his legs store about the same amount of energy, he’d be able to jump about 1.5 meters in the air. Being generous I’d be willing to give him 2, 3 tops. Definitely not 30 as in the movie.
Considering the book was written 100 years ago, I’d say the fact that he (Burroughs) got that detail close to right is amazing.
What is ‘close to right’? Wrong by a factor of ~20?
Or is it amazing that he even knew anything about Mars in 1912? I mean, they didn’t have telescopes in the 20th century, right? They certainly didn’t have the Theory of Gravity back then!
they did have the theory of gravity back then….
You realize it’s not the same Plinkett? They are in two different continuities.
You have it backwards, fan. Mr. Plinkett was a character in a student film first. Apparently, then, Mike adapted the character for the reviews.
Your description of the John Carter plot ranks among your best comedy. Maybe it was already comedy?
stop reviewing and make movies!!
Plinkitt is mike…not that guy who dresses up like him
Just saw John Carter last night on Blu-ray. The story was made much too serious. It’s basically a dumb Conan/Flash Gordon character. the filmmakers should’ve just stripped away almost all of the serious background stuff on earth and gone with getting John Carter to Mars and sticking with that.
The story existed long before Conan and Flash Gordon, you can’t just strip it away.
La casa Muda which was the “rec” to this movie’s “quarantine” was of course incomparable, but I’m not quite sure I got it! I was actually convinced Mike and Jay had seen it. I’m a bit let down.
It looks like Andrew Stanton doesn’t have much use for real actors, and possibly even views them as a liability. Also, John Carter of Mars is extremely similar to Avatar in concept.
Mainly because Avatar is based on John Carter. I mean the books were written 1917.
Did you guys ever see the movie “Martha Marcy May Marlene” that Elizabeth Olsen was in a couple years ago? Pretty damn well done.
Mike nailed it. The first half of the original SILENT HOUSE was awesome and scary as hell. But then it unveiled its ‘twist’ and it all went to shit after that.
Sounds like the remake did exactly the same thing.
“never begin your film with an alarm clock going off”
unless its like 100 alarm clocks and there is an automatic robot arm dispensing dog food and burning toast.
They never state that they did not know Elizabeth Olsen.
Didn’t Synecdoche, New York open with an alarm clock going off?
I dunno, but almost every single scene of “Groundhog Day” did…
Gerry … I see what you did there.
Did Jay just refer to the beyond-bizarre Japanese children’s show “Kure-kure Tako-ra” as “My Left Foot”, starring Daniel Day-Lewis? That’s… freaking awesome.
I’ve always thought of Mike, Rich, and Plinkett as several sides of the same three-headed coin, like Picard, Shinzon and Palpatine…
I thought John Carter (of Mars) was great. It really was like an old throwback to the better days of Hollywood before they began pumping out pure bile. People/critics complained that “the action was dated”, “It’s a rip off of Star Wars, Conan, and/or Avatar”, but the truth is, the stories this movie was based on inspired all of those films. Princess Leia is a direct rip off of Dejah Thoris. Superman was based off of John Carter. I’ll do a comparison to illustrate.
Superman / John Carter
-Both from another world.
-Both began heroes based on their extraordinary abilities.
-Both gain strength via their new alien worlds
The love story between John Carter and the Princess of Mars is just like Jake Sully and the Chief’s daughter in Avatar. The arena scene in John Carter that everyone says was ripped off from Attack of the Clones. That comparison is actually backwards.
I really hate that JC didn’t get the love that it deserved in theatres. I just hope it gets the Tron treatment with a decent sequel, though that seems doubtful at the moment.
Jesus Christ Sully are you new to the idea of story telling or something? People from another world getting strength in a new environment predates books so calm down.
You wanna hear something that oddly resembles John Carter Of Mars, try Super Mario. They both have all those hero’s-journey-type qualities in common, in addition to their famous super-jumps; and even the little details match in odd ways. For example, the love interest is indicated to the audience in some other ridiculously over-the-top way in addition to being a princess (Mario’s princess is also a fellow displaced human for some reason; John Carter’s princess from the original books is constantly naked). And they’re both chiefly defined by their strangely apt previous occupations (plumber; soldier).
Also The Sith from Star Wars are named after giant predatory insects of the same name from the John Carter novels
You young men r so cruel to take advantage of an elderly person. i am an elderly person, and I was taken advantage of by a party of bandits who stole my clothing. Soon i will be dead.
You made my day
I have to agree with Jay on this one. Too much jargon and factions really bogs the story down. It probably should have just stayed as a palace intrigue story and doesn’t introduce the aliens at this time.
I love Mike’s synopsis of John Carter of Mars. It really fragnokked my jor-thann nango. Tox motassis!
Mirgo kahatheken you!
Falafel waffle moffle boffle!
Oh, now you gonna mix race into this? Classy.
Outrageous Fortune was the first rated R film I ever saw.
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