Half in the Bag: X-Men: Days of Future Past and A Million Ways to Die in the West

June 6, 20141,114 Comments

Even though Jay and Mike have never been to college or read a book, they are on Spring Break!! SPRING BREAK!!!


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • Stantz

    Saw Million ways last night and by holy fuck it was awful. X-Men was pretty damn good.

    Thanks for listening

  • durhay

    Who else was hoping that Rich would show up in that Evil Within ad? /Sits there, no reaction at all.

  • TJ

    Jay went full Wisconsin Guido for that intro.

  • Kyl

    Seth MacFarlene sucks a bag of Dicks. As Jay has said before, pop culture references are not jokes and that’s all his work is

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I want the dead chick with the bloody white dress to pop up at the end. That would legitimately make me jump.

  • Mr.Logical

    Am I the only one who thinks Mike sort of resembles Buster from “Arrested Development”?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    holy shit that intro.pure comedy gold

  • Sebastian Von Fappywank

    If you enjoy MacFarlene’s humor I’m assuming you’d enjoy his new movie, but he’s a cunt.

  • Steven Gibbs

    He had to stand on a small box to almost be as tall as me. Finally someone that appreciates a dry sense of humor. And it’s X-Men 7, don’t sugar coat it I’m on a diet.

  • durhay

    Film School Guys of Doom at the Beach

  • TJ

    I can see the clamp holding the background screen up. Downvote, unsubscribed. Movie magic ruined.

  • Pit-Pat

    Even as someone who liked X-Men DOFP, I felt like they glanced over some things that irked me

  • Seth doesn’t travel well over here in the UK either, trust me..

  • Michael Tuthill

    Sheep come in a flock – not a herd 😛

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Armpit hair AND feet in flip flops?! This is the best week ever!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That JFK comment is exactly why Rich Evans should be a regular Half in The Bag member.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Aw, now you guys are just spoiling us!

  • froople

    The greatest part of the entire episode – When “Sorry, this episode is temporarily unavailable” replaced the Careboars.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I think they got tired of seeing 7 different translations of SOS, too, and added something to divert our attention.

  • Aloyicious

    So, did you use beer bottles with the same color green as your green screen on purpose,..

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You’re likely to be correct. But the worst thing is, my dose arrived early, you FUCKS!

  • Christopher Morlock

    We all have future pants.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Until we crap in them. Then they’re garbage.

  • Otto Torrens

    Exactly, I really didn’t think of it as amazing or anything but I did like it. I wish they could have done something without all that damn hokey stuff like the Sentinels with wires and the Mutant gene potion altering spinal injuries, and then they just cram naked blue chick down our throats cause they killed the black guy off in the first class movie which was EXACTLY what the sentinels needed.

  • Jesus Manatee Jenkins III

    Good, now i know which one to buy and which one to pirate.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I love your avatar, by the way.

  • L0lwut

    “Protip: If you’re going to film in front of a green screen don’t hold the Spotted Cow label facing the camera.” -Jay Hahaha need more game streaming from you guys.

  • Hugh Cares

    I was quite offended by that future pants joke. I don’t have any, I wear a toga.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    As long as Jay resembles James Franco in “Spring Breakers.”

    Good thing our Patreon money didn’t go towards gold teeth and a new hairstyle.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Wow. Jay really stepped up the sexy in this one.

  • Cirric Fylenco

    You guys were popping Plinkett’s vicodins in that Half in the Bag episode and you thought it was funny. And…it WAS.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa
  • Marc Greene

    I showed up 10 minutes late to Million Ways and stepped out for 20 minutes in the middle and I couldn’t understand why everyone hated it…until I realized the faintest glimmers of jokes that I saw were the better portions of the movie (ie I only saw 2 references to the smiling in pictures gag then the payoff, unlike everyone else who had to suffer through like 30 of them)

  • Just another guy

    Aw nuts. I was disappointed with Days of Future Past. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t that great either. The script was full of stupid things and dumb ramblings. Prof X and co. said a bunch of generic crap the whole movie when they could have easily convinced “Insert Character” of whatever they wanted. They also increased their own problem by being stupid and revealing themselves violently to the world. Best part was Quicksilver. And the movie was still Wolverine centric. God, get off that Jean romance crap already. It also had stupid crap to artificially pull at emotions or whatever what with Old Magneto getting a dumb piece of whatever in his abdomen. Idk, I rolled my eyes the entire time after they caught up with Mystique the first time.

    Here are some articles that have some good points at times.

    http://movieplotholes.com/x-men-days-of-future-past.html

    http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2014/may-web-only/x-men-days-of-future-past.html?paging=off

    And why the dated Grown Ups 2 reference? Why are they still talking about it?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    How could you notice that when Mike’s chest hair was visible the entire time. Priorities, people.

  • K.Shima

    Way to blow my $2 Patreon donation on a vacation you HACK FRAUDS.

  • ViscaBarcaInter .

    The first ten seconds made me relax, as I knew it would be a great day.

  • Xarkov

    I didn’t think X-Men was so good. Not either. Just meh.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Because Adam Sandler in any form ruins a vacation.

  • David Ben

    y’all are the freakin’ best 😀 Spring Break 2012 !!! sign me up HITB

  • diehounderdoggen

    Mike tried so hard to force the Future Pants joke. He deserves a consolation prize. http://i.imgur.com/w7WE1Ae.png

  • Just another guy

    Lampshading always works. I like their humor as always and the ending was worth quite a few chuckles, not to mention cool to see.

  • David Philip

    A further compliment about the story and Peter Dinklage, X-Men never once made any reference to his height. While perhaps not as ground breaking as Nichelle Nichols on Star Trek, it felt like the same presence. The actors were there, they played their role, and their conventional differences were never pointed out.

  • spidertour02

    Noticeably more definition on the right arm than the left … SERIAL MASTURBATER CONFIRMED

  • Carol

    X-men days of future past is great, I didn’t realize I missed the x-men films until I saw it.
    But I confess I was happy when Mike said the centinels ability to change abilities depending on what mutant they are fighting fits more with Rogue’s power than Mystique’s, it was the only thing that nagged me while I was watching the movie and I’m glad to see someone else agrees.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    More like A Million Ways to Die at the Movie Theatre!

    Eh? EH?!

  • TheSwamp

    Lol at the intro.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Poop in the Future Pants: The Movie 3D!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    More like BWAAAAAdiohead.

  • KonradZell

    Jay with them PYTHONS FOR ARMS! HEEEEEEYYYYYY!!!!!!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    When I read your comment a weird voice in my head spoke the words.

    HOW DO YOU DO THIS?!

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Rei Grim

    From where can I buy future pants? Does Doc Brown sell them?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’ve got my HDMI cabe hooked up to my TV from my laptop and I’ve got my Jimmy Jams on [Jack should appreciate this]. Time to be entertained like no other for *insert running time*.

  • Guest

    I haven’t even watched the entire video yet, but i’m already in tears after seeing the intro. Spring break 2012 WHAT WHAT
    http://i.imgur.com/xdSAD7y.gif

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Does Bryan Singer invent smell-o-vision for this masterpiece?

    That’s gonna be great.

  • Ledechev

    Spring break 2012 WHAT WHAT

    http://i.imgur.com/xdSAD7y.gif

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’ve also got a bottle of lube, some paper towels, and rusty vernier calipers for good measure, just in case things get pretty crazy.

  • I’m somewhat ashamed to tell you this, but…
    I rarely ever go to the theatre to see a movie. And one of the only two movies I’ve seen this year in the theatre so far is A Million Ways To Die in The West. And the other one isn’t X-Men Days Of Future Past.

    I think I need to rethink my life decisions.

    And MCDonald’s. I’m lovin’ it.

    So let me make the best of it and share my thoughts about a movie I actually watched, because I don’t think anyone else in the world besides these hack frauds and me has seen it.
    From the first minute of the movie, I already had this really weird feeling – like I’m not watching a movie. Just everything felt like you’d do it on TV, except for the camerawork and sets. It’s kinda hard to explain, but the movie felt like a TV episode in slow motion.
    The Back to the Future scene really struck me as something you’d see in a Scary Movie movie. There really was absolutely no point to it and it’s a waste of a scene. Not even Family Guy is that bad.
    I actually kinda liked the love plot. It’s at least something, and you won’t get that from a Scary Movie movie or Adam Sandler’s new summer movie (I don’t even know what it’s called!). It’s not very good plot, but at least there’s an attempt at plot here.

    I do also have to admit that I can actually laugh about these objectively horrible non-medy moments. I think it comes from my inner troll – I just have to laugh at the thought that all these people came to the theatre and paid to watch a scene where Neil Patrick Harris has Amanda Seafood suck on his fake mustache while he masturbates. Someone had that idea, they thought it’s good enough to write down, they filmed it, and now people see it. And absolutely noone is laughing in the theatre, because it was a horrible idea and it’s just bizarre and weird. Only weirdo laughing in the theatre is me.

    But yeah, Seth Mc Farlane really screwed up here and should feel ashamed.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Now, now. The elderly may be a minority but they still count as human beings.

  • TapewormBike

    I have my Jay kit ready as well.

  • TapewormBike

    You´re Canadian, when you say eh it sends different signals buddy.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I don’t speak Canadian. Translation?

  • Jillian

    “I felt like I was watching a real movie.”
    – Jay Bauman, Red Letter Media

    They should put it on the DVD box.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s like a totally different language to the rest of us.

  • TapewormBike

    I always assumed it was their mating call.

  • Dylan

    He’s not your buddy, guy.

  • TapewormBike

    “Buddy” is Canadian for “person”. I actually don´t think I´m kidding this time.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    @mitchelltaconash:disqus can you confirm? Now I’m imagining Mitch doing his trademark cross-eyed look while trying to prove his notgays. Eh?

  • TapewormBike

    Taco gots to get his fap on, I´m sure he will lecture us later.

  • TapewormBike

    Us experts call those “right handed males”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The left hand is better at gripping the moisturizer. Or so I’m told.

  • Mads Bolding Fenger Poulsen

    This is still better green screen than Jack & Jelly.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh, so that’s how they decide what handed you are. When I was little, it wasn’t clear which hand I used more.

  • TapewormBike

    Lefty is also great to wipe the tears of shame after.

  • TapewormBike

    You could say that about cholera as well.

  • Ryan Allen

    408 REQUEST TIMEOUT
    Best HITB ever!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • TapewormBike

    Bunch of HipstHers

  • I honestly felt bad for Charlize Theron during those interview segments where she had to say positive things about the movie. You could almost see the “I’m a complete fraud” in Seth McFarlane’s facial expression while she’s talking.

  • Noah Roalson

    “No cities were destroyed….”

    http://www.picgifs.com/movies-and-series/movies/x-men-wolverine/picgifs-x-men-wolverine-5174981.gif

    WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!?!

  • Wild in Wisconsin

    I think they just wanted an excuse to stab something Adam Sandler related and Adam couldn’t be reached for a cameo.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The idea that a bunch of old people were in the theatre with Mike and Jay watching A Million Ways to Die in the West is funnier than the whole concept of that movie. I still remember how awkward it was when an old couple were sitting beside me in the theatre while watching Borat…

  • Mark Bisone

    A glowing review, and I’m glad to hear the film isn’t stupid or incomprehensible. But I just can’t summon the energy to go see X-Men: Ghost of Christmas Past. I think the ongoing superhero craze is just exhausting to me at this point. The eschatological plots and the constant undertone of Nietzschean “will to power” claptrap has become a total drag, man. We get it. The world is going to Hell in a Hambasket. Only supremely powerful people with godlike power and zero accountability can save us, now. Thanks, Hollywood. Understood. That will be all for now, please. The horde of narcissistic mutants in D.C. don’t need you fellating their egos any more. They are well fluffed.

    I find myself craving the hardcore sex and violence of yesteryear, or films with a bit of soul and wit like “The Fabulous Baker Boys”, or batshit experimental action-comedies like “Big Trouble in Little China”.or “Buckaroo Bonzai”. Films that are hard to market, impossible to merchandise, that aren’t afraid to show some aggression towards their audience and step on some toes. Of course, those films already exist and I can watch them at my leisure, but I look forward to a theatrical release that can surprise me. For instance, I love Wes Anderson’s films, but I they don’t particularly surprise me.

  • Robby

    Pasty bastards.

  • TapewormBike

    Back in high school me and my buddy went to see the third Austin Powers movie. It was us and a little group of older kids who were drinking in the back row. And also one elderly lady, that sat down near us. And left after the first ten minutes.

  • TapewormBike

    I am pretty much the same. I actually still have not seen the second Cap Murica and I have been assured I´d love it by pretty much everybody, including Dyke and May. Some good honest unpretentious schlock is definitely missing from the theaters these days.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Talk about multi-tasking.

  • Mark Bisone

    Off-Topic, but I’ve been thinking about Jack’s claim that he’s one of the seventeen people who hasn’t seen “The Room” yet, and I have a proposition for him: as a kind of a brain experiment, read the book “The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside the Room” first, then watch the film immediately afterwards.

    I’m curious what the outcome of this switcharoo would be on a first time viewer. The book’s a quick, hilarious, and occasionally touching read, and I suspect that by the time you’re finished it, you’ll be dying to see the movie, and will have quite a different reaction to it than the rest of us snarky, soulless assholes did.

    Then, as a finale, play the video game version of “The Room” and review it on “Previously Recorded”, because that is a thing that exists now.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Probably because they just happened to have a Grown Ups 2 beach ball for some reason?

    I thought what they did with it by throwing it toward the green screen was funny. I was hoping they’d use the action figure, though.

    http://www.pewpewpew.de/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/grown-ups-2-actionfigur-e1374340589227.jpg

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Isn’t James Franco adapting that into a moopie?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Even the camera angles worked to Dinklage’s advantage. There’s no character dropping down to talk to him. There’s few shots where cameras are looking down on Dinklage. If he’s walking with a group of people and he’s the main focus, to Hell with those other people; their upper bodies are getting cut out of frame so Dinklage’s body is entirely in view.

  • Mark Bisone

    I heard that rumor, too. We’ll see.

  • Noah Roalson

    I skipped to the time code and all I heard about was a frickin avocado bacon omelet you frauds!

  • Bounty Hunter

    X-position? Looks like Rich has some competition for the Zing King title!

  • Noah Roalson

    Another Wookiee?! Welcome 🙂

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You say “almost see” because you were too busy paying attention to Charlie’s blouse malfunction.

  • ColinJ

    Bro-ed out Jay is the best.

  • TapewormBike

    What are you guys saying? All I can see is “RRRRRRR!”

  • Bounty Hunter

    WAWOOHRRRRRGGGHHHH

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I love these Xtra jokes they add into the videos…

  • TapewormBike

    Yeah, but I have like a lotion for it.

  • Bounty Hunter

    It truly makes me eXcited when they do that

  • LukeMM95

    I hope Jay wins an Oscar for his performance as a mentally challenged fratboy with a passion for movies.

  • Noah Roalson
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Also, I love how Rich doesn’t give a shit with his jokes. Similar to his “blow job” joke in the 101 Wacky Kids Jokes video and his “airplane porn for kids” joke from the recent Wheel of the Worst episode.

    “Now there’s a woman I’d wanna fuck.”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Mike looks like a modern day, chubbier, 5 o’clock shadow Hitler. It’s a bit alarming.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Too soon?

  • Jean-François Martel

    the things i’d do to see Jay with cornrows

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you muh muh make me happy!

  • Jean-François Martel

    Too late?

  • castlemonster

    There should be an X-Man called XXX-Man, whose mutant power is that he can score at will. But he’s sad because he can’t get a woman to make him a sandwich or do his laundry or anything. Just unlimited free sex.

  • LukeMM95

    Never go full retard.

  • lawra Weltreich

    Mike’s bottle is so distracting…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Speaking of Grown Ups 2, I had a nightmare last night where I was in an Adam Sandler film. It made no fucking sense, but was probably funnier than his recent films.

  • TapewormBike

    Were you in your underwear also?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You won’t get an Oscar if you go full retard…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Oh hai Mark.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m not your guy, pal.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • LukeMM95

    Still a better story than the Amazing Spider-man 2.

  • Ledechev

    Guys. You just made the best HITB episode ever. It can only go downhill from here. I’m out.

  • TapewormBike

    Oh, I love that movie. According to that, Prague is basically in Russia and everybody here is called Ivan.

  • Mark Bisone

    I don’t find Seth McFarlane’s work funny, but I do understand his commercial success. There’s always been a place in the comedy market for lowbrow stuff disguising itself as middlebrow stuff, designed to make below-average brains feel slightly smarter than they are. It’s basically the territory that shitty SNL sketches occupy — even in their golden ages, they had sketches that were basically longwinded references to news items of pop culture, with the thought that people could at least feel that small but rewarding sense of “getting” the “joke”, even though there ain’t a joke to get.

    The average I.Q. in the U.S. hovers around 98. That’s neither glacially stupid nor particularly bright. But when polled, Fifty-five percent of the population thinks they are smarter than the average American. People these days invest a lot of their self image in being considered clever, and desperately fear being considered stupid. Reference “humor” gives the temporary illusion of being “in on” something with the comedy writer. Smart satire often includes references too, and for similar reasons. But these jokes are usually much subtler, hidden under a layer or two of paint so that the experience of solving the writer’s riddle feels more rewarding, and the references usually give weight to the overall theme, rather than being arbitrary gags. But the impulse to feel like an insider is pretty much the same, no matter your brainpower.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Your apostrophes are pissing me off. They’re all stretched out.

    “You’re tearing me apart, Tapeworm!”

    PS – I mostly hear ‘buddy’ for guys. In my part of Candandia, we use ‘right/rate’ or ‘some’ instead of ‘very’ and we often use ‘fuck’ in our sentences. For example, “She was going right fuckin’ fast down the road, eh?” Or, “Fuck the fuck off.” Or, “I was some tired last night.”

    We also use ‘as fuck’ at the end of things to describe. To describe how drunk Mike can sometimes get on Half in the Bag, we’d say he was “drunk as fuck”. Odd, eh?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    My mating call is too high pitched for un-Canadian ears too perceive.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    My X-Men power is that I can walk into a room and forget why I went there…

    I can also forget someones name about 8 seconds after they tell me.

    Where’s Professor X?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Where’s Space Cop digital model #2 you hack fraud?!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s right, Jay!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Weird, that doesn’t look like another beer to me.

  • DoctorKillpatient

    But that’s not all. What about sending Quicksilver away just because he became an inconvenience to the plot? He could have so wedgied Magneto when he was trying to kill Nixon.

    Did Kitty “mind meld” with Wolverine the whole time when he was in the past? Didn’t they fly to Paris and back? Did she eat or drink? How did she go to bathroom?

    Ah, fuck it. It was a good movie. Though I don’t like guys ribbing First Class.

    Magneto raised a submarine out of the ocean which was effing awesome and Kevin Bacon.

  • Sebastian Von Fappywank

    Nice elbows Jay, filthy slut.

  • DanceOfBirther

    I wonder if Mike and Jay stuck around for the post-credits scene. My reaction was: Wolverine averted “Apocalypse Now”, but not “Apocalypse: Summer 2017”.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Isn’t this the Dunning–Kruger effect, a type of cognitive bias?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect

  • Weird. I had a dream that I was being attacked by a grizzly bear, and it was funnier than Adam Sandler’s recent films.

  • Mark Bisone

    Hmmm. Kinda?

    It’s certainly that way for the type of person who laughs at their own terrible jokes. There’s nobody more awkward to be around, especially when you’re in a situation where you can’t easily escape them.

    I think this condition pertains more to folks like Tommy Wiseau, where they don’t only think they can do something they suck at, but have a boundless, grandiose faith in their shitty abilities. Could be a branch off the same tree, though.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Can we do bleach-tipped cornrows? I mean, his scalp is gonna be fucked anyway. Might as well go all out.

  • No spoilers on omelet reviews, please.

  • Mark Bisone

    It never gets old. Except always.

  • Alex Lee

    As I’ve said in the 2012 Recap.The sad thing is that Seth McFarlane can be funny when he tries. It’s just that at this point in his life, he doesn’t have to try anymore, and that’s why he sucks now.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Don’t you get a hot girlfriend when you go full retard, instead of an Oscar?

  • Shaun Ralston

    A million ways to die… AT THE BOX OFFICE!

  • Meester Smeeth

    Is it any wonder Seth McFarlane doesn’t write jokes? He can’t even take them.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Just right.

  • Meester Smeeth

    Plus he only really works when he’s off-camera, doing a funny voice, otherwise all you get is a concentrated dose of the smug that leaks profusely from his general person.

  • My ex wife

    Those legs too.

  • My ex wife

    I get it, and it makes me feel like i belong.
    🙂

  • Jean-François Martel

    wouldn’t want it any other way

  • Jean-François Martel

    American DAd is funny… but he’s not the showrunner, so my comment was pointless… Just like Seth Macfarlane.

  • Jean-François Martel

    shit i’ll pay to see a movie where Hugh Jackman wears zero pants.

  • My ex wife

    Oscar?

  • staphinfection

    Agreed! The Quicksilver scene is so well done and amazing! Please watch Wes Anderson’s “THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL”. It is the best movie I’ve seen this year so far. Voldemort should get an oscar nom for his role.

  • My ex wife

    I remember there was the same confusion when Trainspotting was first released.

  • My ex wife

    Future pants are old. Just wait until you reach level 65, your waist line will rise too.

  • Mark Bisone

    Moisturizer is for pussies!

    I use a square of 60-grit sandpaper and a handful of rock salt.

  • My ex wife

    That sounds like most of the UK to me, it’s almost like our two countries are related.

  • Guest

    Woody Allen already made the movie that Jay imagined, only it was set in 19th Century Russia. It’s called “Love and Death”, it’s very funny, and has wheat, fields of wheat.

  • Pop Rivets

    Woody Allen already made the movie to which Jay was referring. It’s called “Love and Death”. The only difference is that it’s set in 19th Century Russia, and that it’s funny. It also has wheat; fields of wheat.

  • Fartastic

    MacFarlane, you FUCK. You’re jokes are pathetic. I know it because I WROTE THEM !

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nh3VWsZT6eg

  • My ex wife

    You know what, hearing Jay and Mike talk it’s almost as if they actually read all these comments we leave.
    Can’t be true can it?

  • Sebastian Von Fappywank

    Damn whore.

  • David Philip

    Exactly. I can’t think of another movie where a little person’s height isn’t at least once mentioned by another character. In so much else little people are relegated to playing the role of punchlines, running jokes, or filling roles that only shorter actors can (magical creatures, Jawas/Ewoks). I was among the part of the audience that primarily went to see the movie because Peter Dinklage was in it (X-men isn’t half-bad either) and it was pleasantly refreshing to see him in a role that was treated seriously by the writers and director.

  • Alex Lee

    It lacks Pabst.

  • Hahah that green beer bottle trickery

  • Alex Lee

    Whoa! That is one powerful turd. Just looking at the picture made me smell it.

  • My ex wife

    Just don’t glose him.

  • RHCZ

    Holy crap, yes! I too saw that shitty western comedy and there were ONLY OLD PEOPLE THERE. Some laughed at two or three things, everyone else either gasped or were dead.

  • G Hypolite

    I found another picture of Mike that look like Hitler. He is so cute on this picture.

  • G Hypolite

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I just had something akin to a war flashback when you referenced Dudebros…

  • Iron56

    Really Mike? Million Ways to Die in the West was worse than Twins? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?

  • Dani

    I agree with your xperiences…….. xellent review… On another note: Why do you make us watch Care Boars? What is their purpose? Why must I hear that music after I’m done watching a hilarious movie review video? What mind control is this?

  • Jacob De Paz

    Note on Days of Future Past: This movie has been very popular amongst the comic book readers I know. It’s really not the same story, but it was still a great movie.

    See, not ALL of us are wank-purists that want to see EXACTLY what we read in the books.

  • Alex Lee

    If there’s a reason why we have incompetent executives, this is the reason.

  • Andrew

    When they talked about back to the future, I looked to the right and in the random posts, it says “Back t the Plinkett.”

    I’m frightened.

  • Kyl

    I know exactly what you mean. And when he started laughing when she said “Balls” I wanted to punch him in his stupid fucking face. Bleh

  • Mark Bisone

    That’s what she said.

    Do you get it? Do you get it?

    (I mean Jackie O.)

  • RasputinReview

    I suddenly have a desire to watch Night at the Roxbury…

    and holy shit that’s an oild profile picture, I’ve lost 10 ilos and a beard since then!

  • Percy Gryce

    Come on, Photoshoppers, don’t fail us now.

  • Percy Gryce

    Tru dat.

  • Percy Gryce

    They’re apostrophes from Europe–you know, the country that invented apostrophes.

  • milath

    Yeah I couldn’t help but notice the incredible armpit beards he’s rockin’. That’s like 2 times the beard we get normally! Jay is one sexy bearded motherfucker. 😛

  • Percy Gryce

    Well said. I said much the same thing to Mrs. Gryce before The Avengers came out. For some goram reason (Joss Whedon?) that one sucked me back in and I’ve now become addicted to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I even watched the highly mediocre Agents of Panty SHIELD. I think my behavior might have more to do with my obsessive/compulsive personality than with the quality of any of those offerings, though. And the ending of Winter Soldier might have broken the spell.

    On the other hand, The Fabulous Baker Boys, Big Trouble in Little China, and Buckaroo Bonzai–just the mention of those titles brings a smile to my face. Especially, BTILC, which is on my all-time top-10 list.

  • Dr. Blake Downs

    You hacks are becoming what you claim to hate most (Adam Sandler). Much like Adam Sandler, you frauds make videos as an excuse to go on vacation and get paid for it!

  • Dr. Blake Downs

    wait… didn’t you die in an “accidental” car wreck?

  • Dr. Blake Downs

    Pop culture references as the sole vehicle for jokes? Isn’t that the only thing the modern parody movies do? If that is the case, I’m kind of surprised that Mike is even on the fence about Family Guy.

  • Percy Gryce

    Can I try that brain X-periment too?

  • AnalogyShark

    Those future Sentinels were fucking terrifying. Just sayin’.

    Poor Colossus 🙁

  • Percy Gryce

    I bet someone sent them a Grownups 2 beach ball. They like to use props that their loyal fans send in. Some of those loyal fans then keep a log of every time one of those props gets used. And they sometimes even post about it on RLM.com.

  • Dolfanar

    I loved DOFP… it’s right up there with the best comic book movies I’ve seen, but there was one thing that had me scratching my head the whole movie…
    Remember that post-credit scene from The Wolverine where Magneto and Professor X surprise Wolverine in the Airport? That had NOTHING to do with the movie… it wasn’t even mentioned or referenced… WHATSUPWITDAT?!?!?!?

  • Percy Gryce

    SPOILERS!

  • GraphicsAndBeer

    Or just left 🙂

  • whip

    [URL=http://s219.photobucket.com/user/Whiplashr/media/MagicMike_zps9f4a3f30.gif.html][IMG]http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc49/Whiplashr/MagicMike_zps9f4a3f30.gif[/IMG][/URL]

  • Thanatos2k

    So how long is it before Seth Macfarlane caves and makes a Family Guy movie? The Simpsons shamelessly tried to stay relevant that way.

  • Malevolence

    Wow… this came around quick

  • That weird care bears animation that plays after each new episode bugs. Take it out of the playlist.

  • thebunnyhunter

    Man 2…..TWO videos in the same week, thats unheard of

  • Thanatos2k

    Days of Future Past has a plot that is nonsensical if you really think about it, but fortunately the movie is so good you don’t really care.

    Do they seriously expect us to believe they could make robots in the 70s that had no metal in them? Cook up some BS about “polymers” and “space age ceramics” or whatever garbage you want, but a robot needs CIRCUITRY, and that’s gonna be metal, idiots!

    Also this movie establishes Magneto as being incredibly stupid. All he had to do was hide in the bushes at the end when they were doing their whole big Sentinel unveiling demonstration, then control the Sentinels and have them start randomly shooting into the crowd while saying “MUTANT DETECTED” or what have you. Bam, Trask is instantly discredited and the project would be shut down. Didn’t Magneto see what happened in Iron Man 2? Oh wait that didn’t happen yet.

    So he instead goes with the whole “drop a baseball stadium” strategy. You know, the classic. Think of how long it’s going to take them to disassemble that and clear the area around the white house. Thanks a lot, asshole!

  • Thanatos2k

    It’s actually more like X-Men First Class 2

  • Booger

    Mike has a magic bottle.

  • Thanatos2k

    When Mystique turns into him I was completely expecting her to look like him but be 5 feet tall, instantly blowing her cover. But apparently she’s able to cause half her matter to vanish into thin air.

  • Thanatos2k

    He also sits at tables a lot, and is thus elevated to equal standing (ha ha, get it?) with the others in the conversation.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wax on, wax off.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You mean the Care Boars?

    N00B D3T3CT3D!!!!!

  • Thanatos2k

    They were sneaky, they made it so the city was already destroyed before the movie started.

    Also, Magneto dropping a baseball stadium on Pennsylvania avenue is going to cause a hell of a lot of property damage.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    We’re also talking about films where the main premise is genetic mutations give people the ability to read minds, manipulate metal, etc.

    You’re gonna need to suspend your disbelief. I understand that it can be stretched and sometimes broken, though, but for the most part I felt the rest of the film was done well enough for forgive whatever missteps they had in logic [time travel films never make sense].

  • Rick_Berman

    By the nipples of Captain kirk a new HITB too? Hopefully this doesn’t mean an X-tended content drought .

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    If magically makes him talk funny and stumble when he walks!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    FUCK YOU RICK BERMAN! YOU RUINED THIS TOO?!

    What is it with Ricks?

  • Thanatos2k

    Yeah, if we’d known about his power we might have been able to save him.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    My favourite part was when Storm got gangbanged by four of the big, black, future Sentinels.

    Then I realized I had stepped into a showing of XXX-Men: Gapes of Cougar’s Ass.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Those old dead people had probably been there for about a week. The numbers keep increasing.

  • Thanatos2k

    I was fine with suspending my disbelief, but that doesn’t stop me from coming up with better plans than the characters did.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Coincidence? Probably, just caught my attention.” Haha.

    PS – Your*

  • Thanatos2k

    Fake Nixon was one of the best characters in the movie. He casually turns off the recording device under his desk before they have their little meeting with Trask. How awesome was that.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Fields of Wheat?

    What is this, Days of Heaven?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m waiting for someone to edit Mike’s face onto Hitler’s [a more convincing one than I can accomplish with my shitty MS Paint skills].

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wanna toss this around like buffoons?

    http://www.seeyalater.org/wp-content/uploads/22526.jpg

  • Peter

    I haven’t read the comics, but one thing I really didn’t like about Xmen: DoFP was how the altered timeline made basically EVERYTHING from X1-3 irrelevant

  • Derpship Down

    I can’t help but agree about the circuitry. Anyone who understands 24, 110, and 220 couldn’t help but wonder for a good portion of the movie. Tech like that is beyond time travel.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Before the film [in an old, raspy, quivering voice]:

    “Oh, how dandy! I love trains!”

    After the film:

    http://www.centralelements.com/cutthroatstudiosspecialeffects/images/old%20dead%20lady%201.jpg

  • Booger

    It magically kills his brain cells and poisons his liver. sad emoticon

  • David Philip

    That I did notice. Earlier in the Vietnam scene she’d assumed the shape of an army guy that was the same height as her which made enough sense. Seeing her drastically shorten herself was just as jarring as if she’d suddenly sprouted past 6′ tall. Does this mean she can take on any shape or size? Will there be a Mistique car, sofa, phone-booth coming up? She’s seeming less like a human chameleon and more like a DS9 Changeling.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yeah, I agree, it was stupid the Rebels decided to fly down that whole trench instead of just flying nearer to the exhaust port.

  • Time for another Honest Trailer review.

    The whole conflict of the movie would have been resolved if Wolverine or Xavier simply brought Quicksilver with them after he helped freeing Magneto.

    Mystique helps a bunch of mutants escape a busy Vietnam military base in a cargo plane while being disguised as an army colonel and the moment they leave she turns around and morphs into a blonde chick in front of hundreds of other soldiers and no one notices her.

    Furthermore, the plan itself is pointless since Mystique didn’t incapacitate or kill William Stryker who left the tent and identified the plane that the mutants took to escape. He has legal authority and could simply reorder the plane to land or prepare a nice welcoming committee for them. So Mystique’s full introduction scene served nothing.

    Why send Wolverine in the 1970s to find Xavier and Magneto when they were enemies in order to find Mystique who is god-knows-where when they could have sent him just a few years earlier when Mystique was with Xavier AND Magneto and all of them where in the same Mansion and all friendly to each other and thus more prone to diplomacy?

    Why wait at the last fucking second to send Wolverine back in time to alter the past if Kitty pulled that time-travelling power out of her ass more than a week ago? It’s not like the demi-god Xavier doesn’t have the mental capacity to find her.

    Why not go back in time to simply ask Xavier to Jedi-rape Bolivar Trask into liking mutants and destroying his sentinels in secret instead of just stopping Mystique from killing him? Doesn’t look like a full long-term solution. Hell, if Wolverine could convince Xavier to stop using his drugs, they wouldn’t even need Quicksilver to free Magneto from the Pentagon.

    Wolverine is sent back in time to form a team with both Xavier and Magneto to stop Mystique from killing Trask even if both of them are completely pointless in the original task of stopping her at the Peace treaty meeting in Paris. Wolverine could just have waited for her in Paris and the outcome would have been the same.

    When Xavier finally decides to become useful and regain his super psychic abilities, he finds Mystique at an airport and at first tries to reason with her into not trying to kill Trask for a second time. When that fails he goes to his next and final solution: mind rape. Unfortunately, he says he can’t do it because Mystique doesn’t want to.

    Magneto has a new power in one scene, not only can he manipulate metal, he can also separate it to the microscopic level and implement it to giant robots he never saw, in the dark, in 8 different train cars at the same time, in order to hijack their electrical components he never saw – which puts him very close to omniscience. This power was never seen before or after this scene and with good reasons.

    Why bring Xavier to the Pentagon if he doesn’t have any powers and is literally worthless in their escape plan? Quicksilver frees Magneto, Hank jams the cameras, and Wolverine is the muscle in case of a fight, so why did Xavier show-up? He had nothing to do and everything to lose. But I guess we needed a cool scene of Magneto and Xavier meeting-up.

    Quicksilver puts on his headphones to listen to ‘’time in a bottle’’ on his Walkman while he dispatches the guards in the Pentagon kitchen even though the whole sequence lasts 0.005 second in real-time. Quicksilver might be lightning fast but his 1970s Sony Walkman sure as hell isn’t.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    tl;dr

  • Derpship Down

    It was as big as a moon and they had the blueprints, clearly they were using the trench as cover from the main guns and needed the angle. I can only assume you’ve never wired up nor flown with a fighter jet squadron. .

  • thebunnyhunter

    But if enough people manage to make it through its entirety a new Plinkette review will show up.

  • It sounds and looks to me like this was a live-action movie about Brian Griffin in the old west.

  • Percy Gryce

    Or maybe: irony not detected?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    My whole point is that you can pick apart any fictional story [especially sci-fi/fantasy] and point out just how silly and stupid the actions of the characters or the situations might be, but that’s not the point of fictional stories.

    PS – I actually have flown a fighter jet in a squadron. 😉

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/2c/Ac5box.jpg

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’ll irony you, you Victorian era bore-fest!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Also, I really enjoy your user name. You make Jack proud. 🙂

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Europe’s not a country, you dolt! It’s an island or some shit [a right fuckin’ stupid one, at that].

  • Derpship Down

    Atta boy, both of us have seen enough Plinket to understand and recognize the science fiction / fantasy point, and agree. But you must understand, some of our brains notice things and I genuinely couldn’t get the circuitry thing outta my head, it plagued me.

    Truth be told, I’ve been playing Ace Combat infinity that just came out,, and that’s what sucked me into replying. Clearly we’re both experts, my apologies.

  • Percy Gryce

    I’m from the Edwardian era, you Canuckian simpleton.

  • Percy Gryce

    Before the show, did anyone ask them where they were from?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I think ‘Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War’ was the last one I played, unfortunately. I really enjoyed those flying/action games, but I’m just not into video games as much as when I was younger.

    Haha. Yeah, when he was able to make the metal weave into all the intricate little parts of the Sentinels while standing on top of a train and seemingly in mere seconds/minutes, my brain groaned. If he could do that way back in the 1970s, why couldn’t have have just ripped the Sentinels in the future to shreds? Surely his powers must have grown a lot since then.

    On top of that, he hadn’t practised his powers for a full decade being locked up in that cell, so I’m not sure how he managed to become so powerful that he could manage the super-fine and impossibly complex Sentinel take-over on top of lifting a whole baseball stadium for a few miles. I haven’t the slightest clue how he was able to control the Sentinels’ AI through his metal powers later in the film, either.

    I mostly forgave them for it, although it did annoy me quite a bit.

    I’m not exactly sure where I first started to realize how logically flawed fiction in general [sci-fi/fantasy more specifically] is or when I realized that it’s not even the main point of fiction, but I’m sure the Plinkett reviews helped in moulding how I feel about it today.

  • Percy Gryce

    As I’ve said before, I’ve really lost interest in new movies, but Mike & Jay are such fun characters that I keep watching HITB. I wonder if they would consider doing something besides talking about movies. We know they have other interests. For example, Mike is interested in true ghost stories and related paranormal stuff. Jay likes reading our comments and occasionally deleting some. Couldn’t they build a very special episode of Half in the Bag around that? Or maybe they could read viewer mail and answer questions? I’m sure we all have deep, probing questions we could pose. I don’t know. It might work.

  • Baramos x

    To be fair, the potion is like the only instance in any of these movies where they’ve bothered to establish that Beast is a brilliant scientist. They did it a bit in First Class, except his potion was screwed up in that one.

  • Baramos x

    Time in the future seems to pass more slowly than it does in the past, though a really “realistic” scenario would be that Wolverine going back and the future not happening would be that it was instantaneous.

  • Baramos x

    Undoubtedly.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’d enjoy a quick episode where Jay cuts some comments… or where he is visibly scarred for life by some of the shit we post on here. Like, I dunno, every ‘omitted’ comment, especially that explicit fellatio one he posted.

    It’s gonna be great!

  • Baramos x

    Don’t people in the future wear unitards?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m not sure about anyone else, but I for one enjoyed just how completely useless Wolverine was in the climax of the film. Not only did he do jack shit against the Sentinel, but he royally got his ass handed to him by Magneto, even without having his adamantium skeleton.

  • leperelo

    All we have is terrible movies, Jay…

    …And each other.

  • leperelo

    Mike, during this entire sequence, you did not seem to notice or be able to control the trembling in your right knee. I think you should get tested for a degenerative nerve disorder.

  • Baramos x

    At best it’s subtextual. We could make hay about the character having a Napoleon complex, or being even more fearful about the human race’s fate because he himself is weaker than other plain normal humans, let alone mutants, and this has informed his worldview, or even the fact that he himself is a “genetic anomaly” who is hypocritically wanting to kill all mutants just because they’re different (well, that and they have super powers, but anyway), victims of a twist of fate just like himself.

    BUT the movie never tries to hammer any of these home or shove one in your face. You are left to think about such themes on your own. How refreshing.

    As mentioned, it’s also helpful that Dinklage is never a mustache-twirling villain. He’s the hero of his own story.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Our two favourite hack frauds are back!

  • Baramos x

    She could be compressing her own matter. Honestly it’s more unrealistic for her to get bigger and look like Stryker.

  • Baramos x

    The movies have never been exactly hip to some of the powers. Cyclops beam is a heat ray instead of whatever it’s supposed to be in the comics, which I guess is just pure concussive force? Never made much sense to me, and obviously they too decided it made more sense to have it be hot/laser.

    In this case, instead of just altering her appearance slightly, Mystique has full-on shape-shifting powers.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Since they brought up how the comic book film didn’t destroy whole cities…

    http://i.minus.com/ibfBra1nU1Wl6e.gif

  • K.Shima

    Should’ve gone to seen Shoji Tabuchi. Oh wait. Same result.

  • Baramos x

    The only viewing I’ve been to that could be that awkward is my viewing of Watchmen, to which several parents thought it was a good idea to bring their kids so they could see exploding bodies and flapping blue penises. Like at least a couple dozen kids and their parents. One guy brought like five kids.

    Stone silence throughout the entire movie. My laughter at the one or two funny parts echoed like the inside of a grave. As I left, a grandmother came in with two five year olds for the next showing.

    They clearly thought it was something like Justice League. They saw the commercial and thought Nite Owl was Batman. The sign saying “WATCHMEN R” in giant letters did not deter them. Only once they were in, having plopped down their 40 dollars for their broods, did they realize the error of their ways.

  • Derpship Down

    I stopped playing video games for years as well, then I realized something. They’re the next evolutionary step in storytelling and are now being treated as such by their makers. This phase is interactivity and I’m enjoying is. Hollywood is trying to keep up with gimmicks like 3D and blueray features. But the real time, effort and content is going into games…. holodeck here we come.

  • Baramos x

    This and Winter Soldier have kind of renewed my interest in the genre, actually. There’s still room for them to be good. The Wolverine was also pretty good (minus a few funky bits).

    But they do still tend to be stupid and loud and convoluted, like Thor 2 and Amazing Spider-Man 2.

    But hey, I know I’m definitely going to see X-Men: Apocalypse after getting such a good movie this time around.

  • Baramos x

    I can’t stand Agents. So boring.

    I’ll be checking out Agent Carter just because the short on the Captain America DVD was so good, but if it’s as boring as Agents I’ll have to give up on it.

  • Baramos x

    Goodbye Mama. You’ll be eating ice cream in heaven! I’ll see you tonight when I go to sleep in my head movies. But these head movies make my eyes rain!

  • Baramos x

    I hope that sled wasn’t named Rosebud…

  • Percy Gryce

    To be fair to Omitted, it was Mike who was receiving the fellatio. Jay was merely getting a handjob.

    Or are you saying that Jay was scarred because it should have been the other way around?

  • Baramos x

    I sure didn’t. First Class didn’t have one and I didn’t feel like being burned. And they’re never worth sticking around for, either. From the synopsis of this one it seems like it wasn’t worth sitting around for. Put the damn things a minute in, Hollywood. I don’t feel like sitting there while ushers with brooms hover around the sides of the theater, desperately wanting to clean the place.

    Is putting them at the end a requirement from the dolly crew or the gaffer? Like making sure we see their names?

  • Baramos x

    “Wayans, you magnificent bastard! I watched your movie!” –Seth MacFarlane on how A Million Ways To Die in the West was inspired by Scary Movie 16.

  • Percy Gryce

    A little too Bevis & Butthead.

  • Baramos x

    I hope for April 1st they just have all their review links mysteriously link to Care Boars and only Care Boars.

  • Baramos x

    Do the stings have to make sense? People showing up and saying, “I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE AVENGERS INITIATIVE” didn’t make any sense, either. I mean at the end of Incredible Hulk Tony even tells it to General Ross who is never in any of the other movies. Different studio from Fox but anyway…

    I guess it was “Xavier and Magneto show up at the airport and tell Wolverine about the sentinels. Cut to ten years later for the beginning of Days of Future Past”.

  • Harry Palm

    The thing about ‘Ted’ is that it’s a rip-off of a comic book called ‘Imagine This’ because Seth McFarlane is a thieving hack that deserves ass cancer.

  • Baramos x

    Am I alone in thinking that movie was actually pretty good? It’s probably more like Simpsons season 10 level instead of the really memorable seasons but I found it way funnier than most of the newer episodes have been. And being a movie it IS more memorable than any of these newer episodes, as well.

    The only mistake they made was putting Schwarzenagger in as the president. Should’ve been President Wolfcastle.

  • Baramos x

    Magneto cannot resist the urge to grandstand. A narcissist through and through.

    I won’t really defend it all point by point, there are clearly plot holes, but it is in a comic book universe, where futuristic technology being around in the ’70s is treated as kind of matter of fact. You see this in the Marvel movies as well, especially the first Captain America movie. You have to accept that it’s an alternate universe where there are mutants and people know about them and they are the minority everyone hates, as a clumsy analogy for gay people (in these modern movies), or in the comic books racial minorities like African Americans.

  • Baramos x

    Some games are really smart and intelligent, others are big dumb spectacles. Just like movies.

  • Riley Chappell

    Oh the irony of an Adam Sandler film being advertised on RLM :’)

  • Baramos x

    Well, what do they need, silicon, gold? Rare earth metals? Maybe you could make a non-magnetic one, not sure what you’d do for a hard drive, though…

    That said, even though this is a different film studio and all, I compare it to the first Captain America. Obviously futuristic technology in an anachronistic time period is par for the course in comic book universes.

  • Baramos x

    Honest Trailers is a bit more succinct in their jokes, you know…

  • Baramos x

    Best Nixon is in Black Dynamite, hands down. Played as the caricature Nixon deserves.

  • Thanatos2k

    But it’s not science fiction, because it’s supposed to be taking place in the 70s! That’s what kills it. And you can’t use the fantasy excuse because this is supposed to be our world, RIGHT? That’s why Kennedy and Nixon are there, RIGHT? You can present technology that’s more advanced than it should be with a whole “It was a government secret!” or what have you, but you can’t present technology that is literally impossible.

  • kingofmadcows

    X-Men was surprisingly great. I really liked how they integrated real history into the story. They did it much better than a lot of other similar movies like the first Captain America and First Class.

    I also liked how they managed to sidestep the concerns about this being another Wolverine-centric movie. I loved how they shoved Wolverine into the mentor role and he was just really bad at it.

  • Baramos x

    What with all the negative commentary that the one new feature, Pre-Recorded, has gotten, it’s maybe not surprising they have stuck to Half in the Bag and Best of the Worst for so long.

  • Now I really want a Woody-Allen Western from the 70s.

    Bandit: “You be ready with your pistol tomorrow at high noon”
    Woody: “Gosh, I’m sorry, I can’t; I never duel before lunch”

  • Thanatos2k

    The Simpsons movie wasn’t bad, but the purpose for its existance was pathetically obvious. “Simpsons are going down the tubes, we better make as much money on this as we can before no one cares anymore”

  • Thanatos2k

    It doesn’t even matter if it’s theoretically possible – they sure as hell aren’t accomplishing such a feat in the 70s

  • Steven Simmons

    I still think Avengers is better than anything Fox has ever done, including this. I also think Winter Soldier is a better film than any of those too.

  • Baramos x

    OUR ’70s, yeah. Comic book universe ’70s always has robots and all kinds of high-tech gadgetry.

  • Percy Gryce

    Has Pre-Rec really gotten negative commentary? I thought all the gamers were X-static.

  • swishman

    i personally would love to see these two discuss breaking bad after jay has seen it, and move into these kinds of popular drama tv shows which are a lot better than movies these days.

  • Alex Lee

    *fiddles with gun*
    “Oh Jesus!”
    *drops it and shoots the guy in the face.”
    “You did it, Woody!”

  • You know, when I first saw that he was in it, I thought they were going to try and play the angle of “Dwarfism is a mutation”. And that his fear of mutants is really a sort of jealousy because he did not gets abs and laser eyes.

  • So, how tall is Jay?

  • metalraygear

    god i love you guys

  • Stardog Champion

    Oh boy here he go again. Mr Plinkett got himself another whore of a wife at a sleazy casino. Wonder how he’s gonna kill her this time?

  • Throughout X-men I kept thinking of Futurama Nixon
    “Nixon endorses mutant extermination! Arooo!”

  • Mark Bisone

    Taco, if I were a burglar, you would be my best friend.

  • Derpship Down

    You’re confusing me. You want a Shorts and other Web Videos (drop down menu) scroll to ‘Other Red Letter Media Shorts’ video, filed under the ‘Half in the Bag’ title bar menu? Which opening scene would they use? A half eaten bag of popcorn?? How would that make sense? Explain yourself.

    You have them eating chicken,
    http://redlettermedia.com/mike-and-jay-eat-fried-chicken/

    What more do you want?

  • Leo Silva

    “He had the power to get shot in the head!”

    “That’s why you’re not int he show”
    I love this guys.

  • Alex Lee

    Unfortunately, it’s new Brian Griffin, and not old Brian Griffin. New one is clearly a stand-in parody for Seth McFarlane. Old one was just a commentator straightman to Peter.

  • Alex Lee

    This is more like Cinema Sins than Honest Trailers.

  • Stardog Champion

    President Kennedy was a MUTANT!

  • Baramos x

    I guess, just in this case a shameless ulterior motive produced a decent product. I don’t think the same thing will happen with Family Guy…

  • amoeba

    Jay is such a babe. I’d phagocytose that ass any day

  • Baramos x

    The first video had a LOT of negative comments. I think people were more favorable to the second one.

    I only say this because the comments weren’t like, “We disagree with what you said about this game.” It was more like “Quit making these. Quit wasting our time with this. Don’t do this” etc. And it’s like, hey, you don’t have to watch them if you aren’t interested in video games, people!

  • Leo Silva

    If Doc Brown shows up in this movie, I don’t fucking care, I’LL WATCH IT… in DVD.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The Avengers is better than the original Star Wars films?

    Poppycock.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That last line I read with a collection of voices from Toy Story instead.

    Imagine if the Woody in the Toy Story films were Woody Allen.

  • Leo Silva

    If anyone is wondering what is Maria Salas saying…
    “Hello to all my friends, I’m Maria Salas, here in Toronto Fillm Festival, in CANADA, I with the famous actress and singer Selena Gomez”
    If you’re wondering yourself who the fuck is Maria salas, I can’t help you with that. Some dumb bitch.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    If Honest Trailers came out with this as their script, the video wouldn’t get very many views [or it would garner a decent number of dislikes].

    Where are the jokes?

  • Gay_for_Jesus

    x-cellent use of x-position

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That all depends on which definition of science fiction you fancy, my dear. It seems the X-Men films can comfortably fit into the many various definitions of sci-fi. Like I implied before, each person is going to have their own limits for suspension of disbelief. It seems this film went past yours. However, to disagree with you saying it’s not sci-fi, here are a bunch of different definitions and a list of sci-fi elements that strongly support the X-Men universe [and this film] belonging to the genre of sci-fi.

    “fiction based on imagined future scientific or technological advances and major social or environmental changes, frequently portraying space or time travel and life on other planets.”

    “a genre of fiction dealing with imaginative content such as futuristic settings, futuristic science and technology, space travel, time travel,faster than light travel, parallel universes, and extraterrestrial life”

    “fiction dealing principally with the impact of actual or imagined science on society or individuals or having a scientific factor as an essential orienting component”

    “A literary or cinematic genre in which fantasy, typically based on speculative scientific discoveries or developments, environmental changes, space travel, or life on other planets, forms part of the plot or background.”

    Here are some science fiction elements:

    A time setting in the future, in alternative timelines, or in a historical past that contradicts known facts of history or the archaeological record.
    A spatial setting or scenes in outer space (e.g. spaceflight), on other worlds, or on subterranean earth.
    Characters that include aliens, mutants, androids, or humanoid robots and other types of characters arising from a future human evolution.
    Futuristic or plausible technology such as ray guns, teleportation machines, and humanoid computers.
    Scientific principles that are new or that contradict accepted physical laws, for example time travel, wormholes, or faster-than-light travel or communication.
    New and different political or social systems, e.g. dystopian, post-scarcity, or post-apocalyptic.
    Paranormal abilities such as mind control, telepathy, telekinesis, and teleportation.
    Other universes or dimensions and travel between them.

  • Alex Lee

    Hey, if we forget X men 3, that’s actually a good thing.

  • infernocanuck

    You should probably get tested for armchair doctor disease.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    SPOILERS!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s actually hilarious. I can just imagine the horror in their eyes.

    As a young kid, I would have been thrilled. 😀

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Magneto’s Wolverine move was just his way of hitting a home run. 😉

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “I just have to laugh at the thought that all these people came to the theatre and paid to watch a scene where Neil Patrick Harris has Amanda Seafood suck on his fake mustache while he masturbates. Someone had that idea, they thought it’s good enough to write down, they filmed it, and now people see it. And absolutely noone is laughing in the theatre, because it was a horrible idea and it’s just bizarre and weird. Only weirdo laughing in the theatre is me.”

    Holy shit did I ever laugh hard at that.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I thought the link would lead me nowhere, but it redirects me to some ‘Ralph Lauren’ website. Who the fuck is Ralph Lauren?

    http://www.ralphlauren.com/home/index.jsp?direct

  • Alex Lee

    True. Unfortunately, Hollywood just doesn’t have the medium to do it, at least for action-type set pieces. It always ends up as a video game I can’t play.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I had the unfortunate experience of having to sit through an episode of ‘The Cleaveland Show’. I couldn’t even comprehend how unfunny it was. The fact that they used a good song in a part of the show pissed me off. Once I was able to get near enough to the remote and the people I were with had started playing cards instead, I turned that shit off.

    Edit: I appears I wrote ‘Cleaveland’ by accident. Boobs on the brain.

  • Alex Lee

    Actually, that was done years ago. It was called “Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story” It’s what you’d expect; three episodes strung together in a sequence.

  • sciencemile

    I just listen to the intro song, it’s catchy and that’s all I need to know about the show.

  • Alex Lee

    I pretty much agree. The Simpsons movie was perfectly fine. In fact, the problem with Simpsons isn’t so much with the quality, but audience engagement. The only crime they have really committed is that they aren’t as memorable as the classics. Maybe it’s the use of digital animation that took away some of the charm or the fact they aren’t edgy anymore, but it’s not for a lack of trying. At least the plots aren’t complete garbage.

    Family Guy doesn’t try, and that’s what makes the show bad. Associating a plot with a joke is a futile endeavor with that show. Why is there an extended fight scene with a chicken? Why not? What purpose did it serve in the episode? Cuz random.

  • Akeuw

    Sponsored by Thailand, killing tourists since whenever!

    Executive producer, “That Guy: liberal jerkoff who keeps following me!

  • Derpship Down

    Too soon.

  • JohnBigbooty

    Nothing makes me feel more detached from society more than watching people fawn over Seth McFarlane. I just don’t get it. Cartman was absolutely right.

  • Onigrift

    More like, ”A million ways to die, in the box office”

  • AceRay

    A.A. Roberts is making that one right now actually.

  • Alex Lee

    Well no, because the show isn’t catchy, so it actually told you the opposite.

    It felt like that show was more of a favor from McFarlane to the guy that voices Cleveland. Or maybe it was a request for putting in all those hours or something. Either way, funny premises were not at the forefront of that show. Just uses a bunch of lame stereotypes to create a family unit.

  • sciencemile

    See that’s your mistake. You watched past the Intro. I on the other hand didn’t, and thus came out on top in this scenario in terms of enjoying the show 😉

    Cleveland was a straight man in Family Guy. You need the juxtaposition of the wacky things happening to get the humor from a straight man. So when you take a straight man and make a show just about him, it’s just not going to work.

  • Ledechev

    I made this for you, Mr. Nash.

    http://i.imgur.com/S1YK9cM.png

  • Ledechev

    I was thinking the same thing. A short segment about the comments. Because we can recognise that. Do you remember when the comments were posted?

  • sciencemile

    Do people really fawn over him? I mean he’s alright. He can be funny. I feel like a lot of what he comes up with is crap though, and when something is good, it’s because somebody thought to filter out the crap. I’m a little annoyed when there are legit critiques over his comedy and some people want to make it about their political differences.

  • Jay Stein

    my FACE hurts from facepalming so much. Both of these movies hold nothing for me. Despite Mike and Jays excellent review of both films. I’m dead inside….

  • Baramos x

    Well I think with Family Guy the idea that it is ALL just referential humor is untrue. There is actual character-based humor or just things that are wacky in and of themselves or are based on long-running in-jokes (the chicken fights, for instance. If I remember, there was more than one just in the few seasons I was watching).

    However, if someone said that say, 50% of the humor was just referential to pop culture I don’t think they’d be off the mark and that’s WAY too high an amount to be very good. So the show’s humor suffers.

  • Baramos x

    That movie has so many parts that are just two people talking though, and has so many references to American history, and such a Byzantine plot, that they probably couldn’t make head nor tail of it and were maybe even bored. It’s also 2.5 hours long in its theatrical cut.

    I can’t imagine the average kid enjoying it even if it did have blood and death and sideboob.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You took away the poorly placed mustard on the bun and removed the ketchup, but you retained the true essence of the hot dog. Kudos! 😀

  • RasputinReview

    It should have been called “A Million Ways For Comedy To Die On Screen”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Which one? The one said by Rich Evans? The one said by Mike? The one said by Jessi?

    http://youtu.be/pxfDnq9ORIs?t=2m14s

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGhO2U8cNw8

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    That quick cut of the 90s X-Men cartoon theme reminded me how awesome that theme was.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Wi-Fi exists in Heaven too ya know.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Whatever happened to the great and memorable superhero themes for films? I can vividly recall the themes for Spider-Man, Batman/The Nolan Trilogy, and Superman/Man of Steel [hell, I can even recall the Hulk theme, which was derivative of the Spider-Man one and the Man of Steel theme shined in spite of, well, the whole movie], but the ones for Iron Man? Thor? Captain America? The Avengers?… The Green Lantern? Nope. It’s too bad, because a strong theme [strong music in general] can really elevate a film and make it more memorable.

  • That’s a thing that actually happens in the movie, for some reason. Neil Patrick Harris does the most humiliating things imaginable here. It’s probably because he’s somewhat of a villain character, but I also think Seth Mc Farlane doesn’t like How I Met Your Mother.

  • Well, Charlize Theron fawns over him a lot in the A Million Ways To Die In The West interview. I don’t think Charlize Theron is very smart.

  • AdeoAdversary

    Completely agree with X Men: DOFP being the best movie of the summer– Mcavoy and Fassbender play off each other incredibly well, and do a great job of living up to the charisma of the incomparable McKellan and Stewart. And Charles Theron is ridiculously hot, if McFarlane made that entire turd just to make out with her I totally get it.

  • Derpship Down

    Fantastic Quicksilver scenes. Strange how it all worked out, his power was showcased so well that he came off as the most powerful. (how did that mutant level class rating thing work in the 3rd one?) So much so that they had to get rid of him for the rest of the movie without any explanation, but his being there was worth it.

    By the way… putlocker’s new dot is .is
    ………..Walks away whistling

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    She’s also paid to promote the movie in these interviews. Like most actors are.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I laughed a bit when that happened. I was thinking, “Really? Fucking REALLY?!” The scene was well done for what it was, but the fact that she can just change her height that drastically made it rather dumb.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Charles Theron, eh?

    Confirmed for gay.

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    Actually, take another look at the score for the new Captain America. It’s stuck in my brain for a while now.

  • JohnBigbooty

    Just about everyone in media I’ve heard talk about him have fawned. Then there are the scores of comments from blogs, youtube, etc, doing the same. But hey, there are still pockets of creative comedy out there, so I don’t have to check myself into the funny farm just yet.

  • Bob Borries

    Jay has to stand on a box to cum up to Mike’s level.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    Am I the only one who pointed and the screen and shouted when Jay said he had a “man crush” on Peter’s Dinklage? I think we all know he’d love to Dink that Peter.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    X-Men: Days of Thunderpants.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    Mr. McF!

  • Indiana

    Thanks guys, and I’d totally have sex with Rich Evans. You heard me.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    Second Best Nixon is in The Dark Knight.

  • bb-15

    Yeah, I’m going to avoid that stinker. Seth should check out Blazing Saddles to see how a Western comedy is done.
    – Jay and Mike did a nice job with the beginning/end of this episode.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    I love pre-recorded. I don’t even play video games really. I hated game station 2.0 and PR is a much better fit with the show.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Shorter than you expected? A little short for a stormtrooper?

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    That’s I retcon I’m willing to get behind. I may even give it a reach around.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    If I had the choice between two RLM vids in a week or two sexual encounters in a week, I would go with the sex. But I’d be thinking about Jay and Mike the whole time.

  • ChickenSandwich

    Actually I thought both Captain America 2 and X-Men Days of Future Past had really good music.

    The signature music for the Winter Soldier by Henry Jackman is excellent.

    I also thought X-Men First Class had an amazing score. There’s a strong theme all the way through – watch the Frankensteins Monster scene again it’s used brilliantly there.

    It is sad that was not carried over to DOFP though, would have liked that theme to have kicked in when Magneto lifted the stadium.

  • proghead777

    I recently watched an interview regarding the new TV documentary series Cosmos. The panel included the great Neil deGrasse Tyson, the lovely, if airheaded-seeming Ann Druyan (widow of the late, great Carl Sagan), the former Star Trek:TNG writer/producer known as Brannon Braga, and some other non-descript TV producer guy that no one’s ever heard of. Last, but not least, on the panel was none other than executive producer Seth MacFarlane.

    Every time Neil spoke, I was spellbound, because I am a long time fan. Every time one of the two TV producer types (Braga and the other guy I’ve never heard of) spoke, I was like, “well, you’re obviously selling a product, but you do actually seem to know a little bit about what the hell you’re talking about, so you get a pass.” Every time Ms. Druyan spoke, I thought, “yeah, you obviously smoked way too much pot with your brilliant late husband (Sagan was a well-known partaker and proponent of cannabis), but clearly you understand his legacy and are beautifully committed to making sure it carries on.”

    And then Seth MacFarlane speaks. And all I can think is, “SHUT UP YOU IDIOTIC BASTARD! YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CLUE WHAT ANYONE AROUND YOU IS EVEN TALKING ABOUT!”

    I should say as a disclaimer that I have never seen Family Guy nor anything else that Mr. MacFarlane has been associated with. This is literally my first impression of him. That said, he made Cosmos happen (whatever his reasons were), so I can’t fault him for that.

  • ChickenSandwich

    Completely agree with everything about Days Of Future Past. I was kinda blown away by it to be honest. Just like Winter Soldier I left the cinema wanting more. That’s a really good sign.

    Have no desire to watch that Western movie. Everything Seth MacFarlane has done outside of Family Guy has left me cold and if all the best jokes are in the trailer that’s shocking because those trailers were horrible. I always feel like we’re getting all of the fatty cuts that didn’t make it into Family Guy. I’ve tried watching American Dad but that alien character drives me insane in the same way Jar Jar Binks did. Cleveland was never strong enough for his own show. He does strike me as quite a smug person in real life and there’s a mean superiority to a lot of his comedy that I don’t like, in that it takes the low road a little too much and goes for easy targets. The trailer for this looked like a new low. I guess a Family Guy movie wouldn’t work because when you think about those characters, there’s actually nothing there to sustain a feature length story

  • Stardog Champion

    Lol I thought that is a picture of Dollar Store Wife old rotten corpse.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    If you won’t watch the movie, at least get the T-shirt.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    We’re too poor for Photoshop, or at least too lazy to pirate it. MS Paint All. The. Way!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The odd thing is set design made his table/s smaller so he didn’t look like a child next to the military folks. I certainly noticed it, my brain, not-so-much.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    That’s all she told you? Damn, she bitched to me the whole time about getting the blood out of her jacket.

    Talk about laundry day issues.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Get out of my pedicure kit, you asshole!

    Might as well use my callus sander while you’re at it.

  • Stardog Champion

    What the hell is Grown Up 3 going to be about? Seriously that hack fraud Sandler is doing a third one? Is the movie going to be set in the future where Sandler’s character is 70 years old and still act like he’s 20? Let me guess, the David Spade character is going to be a 65 year old man with Alzheimer where he keeps forgetting who he is and his family. Rob Schneider’s character is going to died of a stroke for having sex with another old lady.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Oh, that was Omitted’s comment that got deleted? Poor guy’s just really into method acting.

  • Annabelle
  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Do you think it’s because of a certain age group that finds it funny? I see a lot of teenagers who love his stuff, even though they don’t get the references. Once they hit college, they realize there’s more out there in the world than prime time humor.

  • Derpship Down

    Was that him sitting next to her at the time? I’m honestly not sure, but that’s what it seemed like. If so, paid for blatant fawning (presence required) is what we witnessed.

  • Adam Berck

    Seth is really the only reason the show is back because he loved the show so much when he was a kid.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Seth wanted NPH because of his role in the Harold and Kumar franchise, but doesn’t understand what made that role stand out or seem unique. Once NPH is an unsuspecting “type” in a comedy, you can’t do that again and expect us to find the same humor in it.

  • Adam Cleverley

    NOT THE BEER!

  • Derpship Down

    I’m so confused. How can he be alright and funny if most of his stuff is crap, with the good stuff that gets through being good because it was filtered by someone else because there was his regular crappy crap in it, and whose legit politics are we on about?

    I’m just gonna go with Cartman on this one. Manatees and idea balls, it makes more sense.

  • Thomas Hunt

    SHIELD, apparently. That was one useful tidbit their show on ABC taught us, at least. As a matter of fact, their much-hyped Thor 2 “crossover” basically just involved the SHIELD team cleaning up a little bit of the final battle.

  • Punkster

    Mike too then as he was the one that said it first. 😉

  • Derpship Down

    This is so dense, there is so much going on in every comment.

  • Sean Lombard

    It’s too bad that A Million Ways To Die In The West turned out poorly. I had high hopes for it. I’m definitely glad that I went to see X-Men instead.

  • Punkster

    It’s so satisfying to see the Seth McFarlane is God bubble finally burst. I’m so happy that he made this movie. Here is why…

    Everything he has done over the last 5 years has been truly awful. I thought that Ted was overrated crap and yet everyone loves it! Which was frustrating as hell for me, when you can see every joke from miles off! Not forgetting that most of them predictable jokes have been recycled from his animated shows.

    I really can’t watch Family Guy these days. I used to be such a fan as well when it first started, now though I can no longer watch it. American Dad had potential in the beginning, but even that has gone stale. If it wasn’t for Steve in those shows, I just wouldn’t bother. As for The Cleveland Show… well no one seemed to like that, at least I heard that it has been cancelled.

    Now however, we get this poorly written mess A Million Ways on How Not To Make A Movie where he uses all his usual lazy cheap humour and it looks like people have finally caught on to his rinse and repeat formula of joke writing.

    So that’s why I’m glad this movie exists. 😉

    Really good show RLM, I’m happy that you pointed out McFarlane’s huge ego too because that has been my opinion for quite a while now. As for X-Men: DoFP, well it was for me THE best film I saw at the cinema all year. (I’ve only seen two but still).

    Keep up the good work.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Fuck ya! I’m below average! Suck on that, Hawking!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Isn’t he naked in this movie, if only for a second or two?

    I’ll be honest. Hugh Jackman kinda grossed me out a bit with his toplessness. He has so little body fat that his veins are popping out of his shoulders and arms.

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    It must be so awkward to sit next to someone you’ve been paid to fawn over and fakefawn over them.

  • Derpship Down

    Absolutely, and it shows on screen. They should have given her more time to rehearse.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Smug sweat glands are the worst.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Damnit!

    Someone call up Woody Allen right now and make him do this! I absolutely HAVE to see this movie now.

  • ChickenSandwich

    He strikes me as the kind of typical guy who got lucky with something at a young age and it’s just gone to his head completely over the years.

    You start by believing your own hype, and by the end you’ve got an entourage and Charlize Theron blowing smoke up your ass. It’s a vicious cycle because it only feeds that ego more and more.

    In the end you become a complete asshole, smirking and brimming with self-satisfaction and total contempt for everyone else, viewing them all as lesser beings. I’ve seen it happen to so many people, on a personal level too. Quite often success and youth churns out the biggest entitled assholes imaginable. They don’t see their success as good fortune, or that other people were hugely responsible for a lot of their luck, they just think the world revolves around them and only their thoughts are valid. That’s why they churn out shit because their self belief goes unchallenged for so long.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Or a shitty Sting song?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Jimmie Jams.

  • Markham

    I loved the dialogue scenes in DOFP more than the action scenes. Also, Wolverine with his invulnerability is the finest recipient of humorous damage in the universe.

  • David Farrell

    A million ways to die in the west… I’ve seen quit e a few trailers for that movie in which Ted (from McFarlane’s previous movie) introduces the film… it’s never a good sign if you don’t have enough footage in your film to fill a two minute trailer and have to rely on another film to help you through it.

  • Bhazor

    It’s like a reference, it’s similar.

  • Bhazor

    I just think he has an immensely punchable face.

  • Bhazor

    I have use both hands if you know what i mean Ladies.

    I mean that I use one hand to hold my penis and the other hand to pin my cat down.

  • Dolfanar

    Fair enough. It does bring to mind what the next Wolverine will be about. Will it take place in the original timeline before things got reset and be a direct sequel to “The Wolverine”? Will it take place in the alternate timeline but BEFORE Logan quantum leaps back into his mind at the end of DOFP? Or will it take place after and be about him trying to piece together what happened to him in the intervening years between ’73 and when he leaped back?

  • Bhazor

    Say what again.

  • backwards7

    Every year thousands of gullible chumps working in menial professions, usually centred around soon-to-be-redundant technology, are suckered into paying for fake spring breaks. Victims are posed on foldaway chairs, in front of a green screen depicting a stretch of Florida waterfront, for upwards of a fortnight, with only a cooler of cheap beer for sustenance. Occasionally a beach ball will be tossed in their direction creating the illusion that somewhere nearby a game of volleyball is in progress.

    Aired concerns such as “I don’t remember the bus/plane journey here” or “Why haven’t we gone to any parties/met any girls yet?” are answered by either the orchestrator of the scam or one of their underlings yelling:

    “YOU DON’T REMEMBER LAST NIGHT!? DUDE YOU ARE SO WASTED!! YOU’RE TOTALLY NAILING A CHICK RIGHT NOW!!”

    We must remember that the kind of people who fall for these scams are simpletons who lack the experience of frequent social interaction and ten-times-a-day sex sessions with multiple partners that most of us take for granted. We should pity them and not attempt to stuff them into gym lockers or hang them by their underwear from football goalposts.

    So little expense is spared in the production of these fake vacations that many victims are injured by falling green screens, as is the case in this video: Like a greedy swan with its head caught in a plastic carrier bag Mike is enveloped and very nearly suffocated by the false reality that had previously fooled him. Like Neo in the Matrix trilogy he has learned a hard lesson but one from which he will emerge stronger and able to bend the path of bullets in mid-flight.

    I would just like to say here and now that if you do incur an injury during a fake spring break then I can help you to sue the organisers for up to $9 in compensation, of which I will take half, leaving you with $4 profit before state taxes.

    One Million Ways To Die In The West reminded me of the kind of film you aspire to see when you’re 8 or 9, when it acquires legendary status in the playground on the basis that it contains adult humour.

    When you did see these films (and I’m talking about the pre-internet era here, when it was a challenge to access 15 or 18-rated films under-age, and where Tub Girl was probably just a brand-name for medicated bubble bath) you would collectively convince yourselves that they were great films on the basis of the more risqué jokes.

    That’s what Seth MacFarlane has made here: A film with jokes about prostitution and anal sex that will appeal to 9-year olds.

  • Bhazor

    I do feel sorry for the mutants in the x-men universe who just have type 1 diabetes or heart valve defects. Especially the whole getting sent to a concentration camp because of it.

  • ChickenSandwich

    Speaking of Neo, he was in a film that did this idea way better – Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. More jokes in that brief 15 minute Billy The Kid section than this entire movie.

  • ChickenSandwich

    The scene where Magneto inserts a ton of metal into Wolverine and launches him into a river to drown looked just like the bit in the comics where he tears the adamantium off of his skeleton and it looks like metal tentacle rape. I think it was a nod. One of the most memorable moments in comics history I guess, hard to forget an image like that when you’re ten years old reading what you thought was another wacky x-men adventure.

  • Mr.Logical

    LOL, perfect!

  • Derpship Down

    I think Markham is on to something. I liked Wolverine growing up, he was my favourite, but my most cherished comic was the one where the Hulk actually manages to smash him to death… its in one of the watchers alternate timelines. I would also enjoy watching him get ripped apart as you mention.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Notgays? Or perhaps the fact that you had to explain what you meant proves you were just pretending.

  • Josh

    I was affixed on the top label of Mike’s bottle be green screened in for a nice portion of this episode

  • ChickenSandwich

    One image I will never get out of my head is the one from a Wolverine vs Punisher comic. After realising he can’t kill or stop Wolverine, Punisher parks a steam roller on top of Wolverine and walks off.

  • Derpship Down

    This is all great source material to draw from.

  • Jean-François Martel

    it doesn’t bother me personally. I’d still let him use me like a rag doll. and yes, i have heard he is naked for a moment in this. he even “lost” his cock-sock during filming.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i distrust fassbender because of some rumours i heard about him, but every time i see him i get weak in the knees and a mix of arousal and shame. It’s a weird feeling. I’d wanna do him but i’d probably feel bad a little afterward.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i kinda feel like it’d make more sense if her power is more giving the illusion that she is someone else rather than actually morphing.

  • Jean-François Martel
  • Jean-François Martel

    could you blame her though?

  • Bhazor

    Got a nice set of pins on him.

  • Otto: Autopilot

    That’s two faces you wouldn’t want to encounter at four in the morning on a lonely road in Wiz-caan-sin.

  • melker222

    GOAT wheel of the worst
    Dark Souls stream
    Half in the Bag

    best week ever

  • Otto: Autopilot

    I may have gone too far in a couple of places.

  • Jean-François Martel

    go get the tissues

  • Jean-François Martel

    also, hopefully, if you do blackface

  • Percy Gryce
  • Crikey Mate Down Under Aussie

    -Not a Family Guy fan-

    I enjoyed Million Ways.

    I find it interesting that you guys criticise Seth Macfarlane and Adam Sandler for making ‘fat people jokes’ or ‘people falling down jokes’ or ‘racist jokes’, yet you yourselves cut to the footage of the critic describing Million Ways as smart or whatever and laugh at her because she looks funny, as if that negates her opinion.

    I’ve been a fan of your work for years and check your website every couple of days for updates…and this was the first time I’ve gotten a sense of jealousy or bitterness in one of your reviews, like you really needed to bury this movie to feel better about him being such a commercial success.

    Sure some of the jokes fell flat with the prostitute and her boyfriend, and the Indian sequence was unnecessary, but it’s not even close to Adam Sandler disguising his commercials as a movie. Macfarlane clearly loves what he’s doing and put out a critique of the West from a cynical, modern, point of view. Scenes like the Neil Patrick Harris character masturbating while telling himself how important he is are pretty unique to film (as far as I’m aware) and I appreciate that, I think it was a step up from simply swearing for laughs.

    Having been a fan of RLM for years, I give thanks that Disqus removed the downvote function because I know I’m probably going to be throttled by the fan base 😛 But that’s what I honestly thought of the movie and I was surprised you buried it so harshly.

  • Percy Gryce

    Somebody set up us the bomb?

  • Otto: Autopilot

    You’d definitely end up in a canvas sack getting jabbed with a stick at some point.

  • Percy Gryce

    SPOILERS!

  • Otto: Autopilot

    South Park, and manatees, totally ruined his brand of (air quotes) humor for me. Random joke after joke.

  • Percy Gryce

    That’s not trembling, that’s fidgeting. It’s how Mike maintains his slender physique:

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A41897-2005Jan27.html

  • Paul Ellmaker

    That’s mature.

  • Marvin Falz

    “I’ve really lost interest in new movies, but Mike & Jay are such fun characters that I keep watching HITB.”

    I’m in the same camp, though I must say that this is the first time that I’ve read book while HitB I was watching. For one I’m not interested in new movies – with some exceptions like Django Unchained – since all new movies seem to be either very faulty from the storytelling perspective or / and too bloated with needless and too long action sequences. (I love the one action scene in HitB Amazing Spider Man, where Jay needlessly jumps over some remains of a sidewalk). I’m also under the impression that Mike and Jay get more and more bored by those formulaic movies to a point where they merely repeat their own HitB formula. What I mean to say is, HitB seems to become repetitive just as the mainstream movies are repetitive.

    I’ve been watching a lot of old(er) movies recently like Shanghai Express with Marlene Dietrich, Lost in Translation with Scarlet Johannson, L’Eclisse with Monica Vitti, Strangers When We Meet with Kirk Douglas, The Story of Marie and Julien, The Devil’s Eye by Ingmar Bergman (the Boxer 😉 ), Queen Christina with Greta Grabo (love that one!), Merci pour le Chocolat, Annie Hall, The Barefoot Contessa and even a children’s movie from the mid 90s titled Susie Q.

    All those titles carry the characteristics the RLM team is searching for in new mainstream movies all the time. They tell stories and are immersive from beginning to end. (And little to no action sequences.)

    I’d like to see RLM take on movies that really engage them. I reckon when they’re fascinated the viewer will be fascinated, proof is the Christmas BotW. The last BotW btw left the same impression. It seemed to be fun for a while to watch garbage on VHS but not anymore.

  • Percy Gryce

    I think you’re making my point that the boys can be hilarious doing stuff other than talking about movies–like eating chicken. I still think the Fuck-Bot press conference and the Space Cop teaser-poster trailer are among their best work.

    So could we have a regular series of RLM Presents: Short Films or something?

  • Mr Bighead

    You’re not the only one, the review of Million Ways left something of a sour taste for me too. I’m glad they gave the film credit for an interesting premise and for its production qualities. I haven’t seen it yet myself and while I have no doubt it’s average I’m sure you’re right that it’s no Jack and Jill.

    People just seem to absolutely hate this guy. Someone in this thread is actually criticizing him for going on TV to talk about making a documentary series based on Carl Sagan’s Cosmos! Seriously?! I mean he’s an Atheist, he has progressive political beliefs, he sings, he dances, he plays the piano! What more do you want? He’s definitely not a talentless hack.

    I think the best thing Seth MacFarlane could do is kill off Family Guy. I’m sure that wouldn’t be his decision though. American Dad is a much better show even though it’s reaching the end of it’s ‘natural’ life. I sometimes wonder if people who hate him have even seen it.

    P.S. Love you guys (Mike and Jay). We hate most of the same people.

  • NotRickBerman

    I thought Lucas Film made those in 1999, 2002, and 2005.

  • Gene Parmesan

    That’s the LA sleeze working its magic.

  • Jean-François Martel

    they do, it’s scary.

  • Gene Parmesan

    What does Humberto Cabage-patch have to do with this webzone?

  • Gene Parmesan

    Now I know why Jay tweeted from the beach, THINGS MAKE SENSE!

  • Jean-François Martel

    i hope you didn’t pay for Million ways

  • Jean-François Martel

    Pretty much why i love Drive Angry, we need more shit that doesn’t take itself seriously, but also where the makers don’t pretend they’re too good for the material.

  • Jean-François Martel

    God i couldn’t stand Agents of SHIELD more than 4 episodes, and apparently the guy running the TV Marvel universe isn’t really good at making decisions, so i’m excited for Agent Carter but i am staying cautious.

  • Jean-François Martel

    the worst thing is Darwin’s power is to adapt to ANYTHING, making him basically invincible. So killing him was literally just so they could kill the black guy.

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    I’m not 100% on board with the Apocalypse movie. It’ll probably be good and all, but in a strange sort of way the stakes will never quite be the same. This X-Men movie more or less saved the franchise and you could feel the movie’s quality saving it and bringing things back to how we like it most.

    So it’s not so much that I think the next one will be bad or anything, just that there was some meta stuff going on with this one that, for me at least, helped my emotional investment a lot. ^^

  • Derpship Down

    It is the will of the force. Undue heaps of praise are hurled upon the man as a comedic genius, when in truth he’s putting out a massive quantity of base low brow stuff. The attacks, warranted and on point or not, is the universe trying to balance itself out as any inch or praise given to him may validate the steaming pile.

    By the way, the emperor totally survived that fall. Luke did it, (one handed) Yoda took a goodly fall and I’m convinced Lucas gave up on Star Wars because he feared what would happen when he shoved it in episode 7.

  • Mark Bisone

    No. You and Madam Gryce must experience it in its pure unadulterated form.

  • Stantz

    God no. I have an unlimited card, so I get to watch as many movies as I want, which is a blessing, because up until This and Edge of Tomorrow, the selection of movies that have been released so far have been absolute dirge

  • Derpship Down

    You must have read through and found my comment on the Godzilla review.. which I still can’t get through.
    The comedic timing in the Fuck-Bot 5000 is golden. Everyone’s delivery is perfect. Even Jessi actually not getting in a full line…. you’d think sometime after the gag that they’d give her one and its coming,,, you think wrong. Its fucking hilarious.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    McFarlane and Gwyneth Paltrow would be great together.

  • Mark Bisone

    I’m starting to like Paltrow, actually. I get the feeling she’s now actively trolling the world, and luxuriating in the hatred. After all, who would want to be the second most hated celebrity?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    How would they really do that, though? One season is 10 hours of content, and for those of us who don’t have cable/special channel/don’t want to pirate, we’re kinda screwed. If we wanted to try and avoid spoilers while waiting for it to show up on DVD, we wouldn’t be able to watch some of these review shows until a year after.

  • whip
  • Baramos x

    I think it’s actually Jeph Loeb. He can’t seem to do anything good with Marvel properties.

  • Baramos x

    At the rate Jackman is aging, they’ll have to do Old Man Logan! Do ho ho ho…

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    Faddlechud? We need a gif at 31:50, Jay´s funny jaw. It has to be fast animated. Please, feel free to innovate and add some sexual references 😛

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    That Hair.

  • son of pluto

    That NIXON did suck. And I love me some movie Nixon.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Kilts. The Scots finally got sober enough to conquer the world.

  • ChickenSandwich

    My wife and I love Futurama so we both turned to each other and laughed as soon as Nixon spoke. Same goes for Watchmen. Could just picture those going “Outrrrrrrrragious!”

    Frank Langella in Frost/Nixon is the best Nixon I can think of. Believable in mannerisms but without any of the usual caricatures, totally natural.

  • Keith Ballard

    The Ryan Reynolds cameo as you explain it kind of makes sense. In Ted he plays the boyfriend of one of the minor male characters (the one who plays the guy in the Wheelchair on Family Guy). In that role he also just sort of shows up and doesn’t say a single thing. It looks like Seth wants to have a running gag where Ryan Reynolds has one silent scene in every movie he makes, sort of like how Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and At World’s End all reference Cornettos.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Does it float, though? That’s the real conundrum.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa
  • Derpship Down

    I’ve contacted the 501st and they suggest he apply as a biker scout. I dare not ask the Rebel Alliance as I’m sure they’re short Ewoks.

  • Maya Angelo

    He’s an atheist and has progressive political beliefs? I’m sold!

  • leperelo

    Why? I’m already a doctor.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Dumb comedy can be executed smartly.Compare Airplane! or Naked Gun to Scary Movie.The difference is astounding.Anyway most of the time I feel like the low brow humor of RLM works because of the way it’s executed.Macfarlane or Sandler school of comedy is just pointing at whatever makes them laugh(minorities,potheads and so on) and adding some swearing when there’s no context for it in the story.And the cutaway to the critic is funny not because she’s fat or has funny hair-it’s because she sounds like a simpleton who would indeed believe it’s the smartest movie evah.

  • Jean-François Martel

    do they?

  • Jean-François Martel

    WHAT?

  • Jean-François Martel

    Comedy has to exist for it to die.

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s not so much that they are stupid, loud and confused (although many of them are). It’s more a boredom and irritation at the conceptual level. The entire gestalt of “superhero movies” is getting dreary.

    I suppose it’s a different experience for comic book fans, who have longed to see those characters brought to life on the big screen. For those of us who don’t particularly care about comics, what seemed like a neat idea in the early stages (Burton’s Batman, Raimi’s Spiderman) now feels like late stage cinematic cancer. We’ve gotten a few legitimately good, even great films out of comic books (Donner’s original “Superman” and Nolan’s “Dark Knight” particularly shine, and I think they’ll endure the test of time). But the atmospheric and thematic sameness of most of these films — apocalyptic millenialism, Niezchean anti-heroism, hot butts in spandex — usually isn’t even interesting enough to be offensive. Zack Snyder managed the feat of being both uninteresting and offensive with “Man of Steel.” He’s the most horrible anti-artist of our time. They should have given him the reigns to the new Star Wars films, just for the morbid pleasure of watching him mutilate them even worse than the prequels. .

    Give me back my hot butts out of spandex, Hollywood. I’m not even kidding when I say I’d prefer to rewatch “Showgirls” than see “X-Men: Yet Another Apocalypse Part 2”. One is a somewhat horrifying, occasionally fascinating failure. The other is a bunch of A-listers in Halloween costumes and comedy helmets throwing around airplanes and paraphrasing Zarathrusta. Funny at first, but it’s worn thin.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Is the better troll one who actively or passively sows discord? She’s like an accidental internet prick.

  • JackgarPrime

    For X-Men, I think the best thing about the movie was probably the young Xavier. Great performance and a strong character arc.

    Probably the worst was Mystique. She just didn’t fit that role at all, I find.

  • Mark Bisone

    I’m no expert on the Tao of trolling, but she seems to have a real yen for pissing off masses of people and prompting reams and reams of vein-popping screeds from all corners of the planet. Not sure if it’s accidental, but she appears to be doing something right. We ought to at least check her Midichlorian count.

  • Jean-François Martel
  • eon davidson

    Origin of Jaywalking: “Jaywalking” comes from the fact that “Jay” used to be a generic term for someone who was an idiot, dull, rube, unsophisticated, poor, or simpleton. More precisely, it was once a common term for “country bumpkins” or “hicks”, usually seen incorrectly as inherently stupid by “city” folk.

    That’s right Jay!

  • Jean-François Martel

    he looks like a mutant

  • Derpship Down

    I don’t follow that sort of stuff so I have no idea what you’re talking about, but you have me convinced. I’ll hold her down, you do your thing.

  • Alex Lee

    I don’t know. You wrote far more characterization than Adam Sandler would ever do. You know, putting on old makeup and acting like a different person sounds like far more work than he’d ever be comfortable with.

  • Baramos x

    Lex Luthor: BEHOLD, I TEACH YOU THE SUPERMAN. HE IS THIS LIGHTNING–HE IS THIS MADNESS!!!

  • Alex Lee

    It’s like the people who draw Family Guy also drew Where did I come from?

  • Sparkles Peterson

    Are they making fun of her for looking funny, or for doing a puff piece from the set of Hotel Fucking Transylvania?

  • Crikey Mate Down Under Aussie

    Yeah, the cries in the comment section about him being talentless….I mean you don’t have to enjoy his humour or whatever but he’s clearly talented, I think it’s just a contrarian attitude people like to have.

  • Jean-François Martel

    “I suppose it’s a different experience for comic book fans, who have longed to see those characters brought to life on the big screen.”

    It is if you’re into getting the same white men over and over again (mostly talking about Batman and Superman and my longing for different stories. I’m not even that much of a comic fan but OMG how many different Batman stories can put on screen?)
    Though I’d like Marvel to stop going overboard with straight white men, like, i want Black Widow, i want Blade (and Karen Jenson because she is flawless), i’d love to see a Spawn remake, hopefully with the Daredevil TV Show we’ll also get to see Elektra.

  • robottawa

    I’d disagree that that is what X-Men movies are about. The apocalyptic future in DoFP is caused by humans simply trying to destroy mutants, not one another, and the bigger focus in the film is going back to save mutant kind, with the whereabouts of most humans in the future unknown. The conflicts are almost always Mutant v. Mutant, with the superpowered characters causing more problems than they solve.

  • Epic fail HitB ending, which is an epic win for us! Thanks guys.

  • Derpship Down

    Ask and you shall receive Mike.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2FX9rviEhw

  • Cacktowl

    Definitely enjoyed X-Men:DOFP but i though there were a few plot holes like..

    1. Why wouldn’t they go more back in time in order to stop things a different way
    2. Why didn’t the sentinels kill Xavier when Magneto said “do what you were made to do”? Magneto had his helmet on for good reason, had he done that he had gotten away with it.
    3. Couldn’t Xavier have used Cerebro to kill all the humans behind the sentinel project at some point in time?
    4. How the hell did Beast survive? lol

    In the end they are not really things you can judge the movie harshly on though. This movie was based on a comic, and they the peeps behind the movie did what they could to make it a good film and i liked it. Weird though how Mystique had such a connection with Xavier and he just apparently lets her go, we’ll see more of everyone in the next film so it’s ok.

  • Derpship Down

    I thought it might have also had something to do with the lack of English, and tiny lettering. HUGE positive review in block letters, itsy bitsy sheepish unknown “critic”

  • Gene Parmesan

    That’s true, he has the power for everyone to like him even though he’s been in virtually nothing people have seen.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’m surprised they were so easy on the stupid X-Men movie, but I’m not gonna cry about it.

    You think Seth MacFarlane “put out a critique of the West from a cynical, modern, point of view”? Now, that’s just as silly as a bubbly Mexican woman in garish clothing, pretending to be a film critic. He strung together a bunch of sex jokes around some Monument Valley footage. His point of view is the end of his own dick. MacFarlane is, now, what he has always been…a smirking, lucky, insufferable frat-boy who thinks poo is really, really, really hilarious.

    That “bitterness” you sense may be coming mainly from the fan-base who are seeing him exposed, finally, and have to contort themselves into positions of defensiveness.

    Neil Patrick Harris masturbating is unique to film. Thank Jeeby Chrissmus.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’ve got no idea, either. She dumped the Coldplay douche, and now everybody hates her? Or, has she expressed a political opinion or something? In that case, yeah, whack her one for me, ’cause bitch gots ta learn you can’t be saying none of that shit unless you be Ted Nugent or an old Christian dude with a wooden duck and a bandana.

    Yay! Hate Paltrow! We Hate Things! Down With Hipsters!

    I love the internet: It’s the one place where I win, all the time. Just by logging off. Still, fill on the deets about why we should hate Paltrow.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Let’s see…awesome slow-mo scene, silly robots that made no sense, glowy, blue time travel thing-y, too much Jackman but not as annoying as too much Jackman usually is. Totally un-Nixon-ish Nixon. James McAvoy’s maybe the best thing in it. J-Law looks like a wee lassy.

    Yep. The Guys seemed to notice exactly the same stuff about the X-Men Pants movie as I did, but they came to a completely opposite opinion of it. Eh. Kumbaya.

  • ChickenSandwich

    Every film about time travel has plot holes. I usually judge the films based on how well the characters are served and whether the story was any good.

    I mean, we could pull most time-based movies apart forever.

    For instance, the film would have been very different if Wolverine said something like this at the very start:

    “Why did they not recruit Quicksilver instead of Magneto? Forget Magneto altogether, let’s use the guy who can stop, move and dodge bullets to save Trask from Mystique.”

    But I don’t care. I loved the ride anyway. It’s only when plot holes spoil the movie that it matters. In this case, they don’t.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You’re not.

    Having an opinion that you can call your very own is one of the few ways left to prove you’re alive.

    You’re alive inside.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yet, you edit with a whole sentence, even repeating the mis-spelling, when all you had to do was backspace over a single vowel.

    Dude! I admire you so much right now! Remind me of your political philosophy, so I can stop. Dude-miration is one of the things that will get a person Confirmed for Gay. Or so I’ve heard.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    EXACTLY!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Seriously? How many times can anybody really care about seeing Colossus ripped apart? Twice? Three times?

    My problem with most time-travel stuff . It’s got an automatic reset button worked right into the premise.

    “We gotta go back to 1973 to stop Mystique from killing the dwarf.”

    “If that don’t work, we could go back to 1967 and convince the dwarf he’s better suited to studying height. That’ll keep him busy.”

    “We won’t have a second chance. The glowy blue light thingy doesn’t work that way.”

    “Oh. Well fuck it, then.”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    They did watch GRAND BUDAPEST, and they reviewed it here. They both loved it. But, I guess they’ve forgotten.

    ‘Cause I don’t want to believe they really think DAYS OF FUTURE PAST is better than that.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You just described the popularity of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, too.

  • Michal Richter

    I recomend everybody to watch this Charlie Sheen roast segement where late Patrice O’Neal talks about Seth McFaflane in a way that pretty much resonates with what Mike and Jay were talking about in this video. Great comedian btw

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca_Mzl5w8_s#t=3325

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Um, you’re kinda wrong there. DoFP, at least the movie version of it (I’ve never even looked at an X-Men comic on any of my hundreds of Wednesday afternoon visits to the LCBS), presents an apocalypse caused by humans destroying mutants AND the human commie liberals who were on the mutants’ side.

    Or, are you one of those Wing-Nut types who thinks of liberals as mutants? In which case, then you’re right. Never mind.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The internet hatred doesn’t come from politics or her love life. She has a nasty habit of comparing her lifestyle with that of working mothers/women as a way of saying “I’m normal just like you guys!” while being incredibly insulting and out of touch.

    She would recommend a $500 blender or a $200 “Conscious Tee” and not realize how expensive that is for normal people. She thinks her acting job is harder than a working mother’s job because it’s not a typical 9-5 job, even though she can keep her kids in a on-set trailer with a maid when we can’t afford that. She thinks every home should have an outdoor woodfire oven so you can make vegan pizzas for your kids properly.

    The hate has nothing to do with religion or politics or hipster douche canoes. She just thinks everyone can live life the way she does, and if you don’t have the friends, lifestyle, or family values she has, well, at least you can read her blog or buy her book to “better yourself.” Hope that makes sense.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Zack Snyder. Seth MacFarlane. Jay-Z. Which is the most horrible anti-artist?

    I’m going with Christopher Nolan.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Can’t wait until you’re all old.

  • faraday

    If you take Tony Hale’s face and squished it… A bit, yeah!

    D:

  • faraday

    Relevant!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It’s based on a Marvel Comic. The guys who flew four astronauts through a single “radioactive” cloud and brought them back to Earth with four different superpowers instead of, you know, cancer.

    Dumb, stupid, and fucking stupid-dumb are kind of Marvel’s thing.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Perfect sense. The explanation, that is. Thank you. I’m still kind of iffy on the “hate” thing, though.

    I mean, yeah, that makes her sound self-absorbed and out of touch. Um, have you spoken to anyone lately and not gotten the impression you’re talking to the inside of your own colon?

    Right now, 2014. Being self-absorbed is bigger than The Beatles were when they were bigger than Jesus. So, all those things you describe can probably be attributed to any celebrity and / or person with wealth. Thereby, there has to be something specifically “her” that makes her the target, while others skate by.

    I guess I’m still just confused. Why would Gwenyth Paltrow be considered worthy of more hate than Oprah? Than Lebron James? Than the chick who’s married to Tom Brady?

    I could name a million of ’em.

  • Mark Bisone

    Caught “Thor: Rise of the Dark Moon” on TV last night and got a pretty good laugh out of it. I turned the sound off fairly early on and just made up a story for it on-the-fly. Natalie Portman spurting out a red fart cloud of plot smoke was my favorite part, I think. The overall look of the picture was similar to Del Toro’s “Hellboy” flicks stripped of all comedy/whimsy. Lots of spaceships shooting laser beams at guys with swords, so the 1980 Flash Gordon picture also sprung to mind.

  • Piehawker

    I thought they did the ‘sarcastic guy talking like a modern person in a western’ well with Owen Wilson in Shanghai Noon/Knights.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I was laughing quite hard during Mike’s whole sheep spiel.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The downvote option is still there, it’s just only you can see it when logged in.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    All your memes are belong to me.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    His first AND last name are dick jokes. His parents must have been cruel.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Frankenstein’s Monster is good, yeah, and I enjoyed the Magneto themes overall [and call actually recall them, but probably because I’ve heard them recently]. I’m not talking just about good music, I mean memorable as in a different tier of music. Similar to the theme for the Pirates of the Caribbean. Is it great music? Debatable. Is it memorable? Damn straight.

    I’m probably not explaining myself well enough.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Because Paltrow spouts her beliefs through her own blog, lifestyle magazine, and multiple cookbooks even though she’s just an actress, I guess? i don’t really know.

    Maybe if she didn’t have so many extra avenues for her opinion to be public beyond Twitter or random magazine articles, the hate wouldn’t be so intense. A lot of her advice also targets working mothers, and that’s possibly the worst demographic to piss off.

    Like I’ve never watched Oprah, but shit, if she gave me some free prizes underneath my seat for just listening to her, I’d love her, too.

  • David Jung

    “He had the power to get shot in the head.” -Rich Evans
    …. That’s why you’re not on the show.

    haha that was the best part.

  • Cacktowl

    I agree; and btw the way they’ve had to change things between the first trilogy and the latest 2 (like Mystique’s origin) is fine with me as it had to be done to make a better overall product.

    About Wolverine dying that night, i thought it never happened, that is why everything disappeared just when the sentinels were about to open fire. When Xavier says welcome back, he knows this because he was the Xavier Wolverine had talked to. Wolverine knew what he was getting into and why he was doing so when he went to the past. All in all my understanding is that Wolverine and Xavier are the only ones that know what happened, and they accomplished their goal. The ending part with Wolverine is indeed confusing but i assume he returned at the point in which the battles will have been happening, its just how it works.

    Anyways, the plot holes that i did dislike have more to do with what i mentioned about the beeper not going off on the mutants near by, the sentinels not killing Xavier, Magneto the king of magnetism some how being able to control the processes of Robots in order to make them kill mutants without his direct control, etc.

  • Termina

    Love how the video is unavailable… Might want to invest in some a better CDN there guys

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Unless of course, everybody who was at the show yesterday got a car, and today you just get a book that some dope plagiarized from some other dope. Plus, yesterday, she had Prince and Stephen Hawkings on, but today you’re sitting there watching Tom Cruise jump on a couch.

    Betcha wouldn’t love her any more than Pepper Potts then, woodcha?

  • Mark Bisone

    Finally: an atheistic progressive from Hollywood! How can we not lend our support to this rare and exotic bird?

  • faraday

    Fuck off, Ghost!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    My irrational hatred would simply switch to Tom Cruise because he didn’t jump on my couch.

    I don’t have to worry about paying taxes on a free car, and I can use this useless book as bird cage liner. Totally useful!

    And if Stephen Hawking didn’t let Prince test out his sweet wheelchair, then really, what IS the point in those two being on Oprah, y’know?

  • Adam Sandler movies are really the absolute bottom of the barrel. Just because this is an actual attempt at a movie with actual plot doesn’t mean it’s good.

    I really don’t think anyone would be jealous about a movie that has 33% on RT.

    And I absolutely can’t believe you’d actually use the NPH masturbatory scene as something positive about the movie. That was one of the most baffling things I’ve ever seen in a movie – everyone involed in the making of that scene should feel ashamed for what they’ve done. As I’ve mentioned in my previous post, the scene only managed to create awkward silence in the theatre where I went to see it, and there was a good amount of people there. I guess the scene managed to show us that his character is a douchebag. But we already knew that and the only thing he does for the rest of the movie is shit into a hat.

    It was a nice try, but the movie just doesn’t hold up as a movie. I’d bet at least half of the scenes in the movie are just completely pointless and/or fall completely flat. I don’t think there’s anything Adam Sandler-ish about the movie, but at times, the movie feels like a Scary Movie movie, which is also pretty bad. Especially the Doc Brown scene falls into that category – there’s just no point whatsoever and not even an attempt at being funny is made. And that’s the key word of my post – attempt. They did honestly try to make an actual movie, but they still half-assed it at too many corners.

  • faraday

    Well it’s not Game Station 2.0 so that’s obvious!

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    This comment is awesome in so many ways.

  • Wildride

    Western with a modern sensibility? Y’know, we can just re-watch Rustler’s Rhapsody, right Seth?

  • snorting comet

    Beyond Thunderpants?

  • Cobresol

    Had a couple of hours to kill, so I have some thoughts on On A Million Ways to Die in the West. It’s not good. It’s semi-functional (plot wise), but not good (or funny). McFarland either called in a lot of favors or is popular enough to have convinced a ton of capable actors to be in his newest vehicle, but they’re pretty much all wasted.

    While predictable and dragged on, complaining about the plot of this movie seems… nitpicky. It’s not incredibly dumb or overly contrived like other ‘comedies’. It’s straight forward, cynical and wastes a number of characters for the sake of cheap laughs (as pointed out by Mike), but the plot is coherent, has a ‘theme’ and is functional.

    Comedy wise, and to add on to what Jay says about McFarland’s comedy stylings (or more precisely, lackthereof), I will cite one joke that actually made me chuckle before it then made me sigh:

    Near the end Charlize Theron finally stands up to Liam Neesons, knocking him out as he’s preparing to have sex with her. So he’s face down unconscious with his ass hanging out. Not funny by itself. Charlize says, ‘I can’t leave him like this’, then proceeds to put a flower (daisy?) between his butt cheeks.

    Now that joke is juvenile, but funny (on a scale of 1-10, like maybe a 5, but the ‘shock’ of it works). The problem is that McFarland does what he always does because he has no comedic timing: he draws the joke out.
    He shows as Charlize spots a flower, then as she picks the flower, then as she places the flower between Liam Neesons butt, then keeps his butt with flower protruding in the shot as she rides off. It’s like a full minute to two minute sequence. It’s unnecessary. He c/should have just cut to her putting the flower there, taken the cheap laugh and then cut to the next scene. 10-15 seconds of screen time and roll on to the next scene.

    McFarland doesn’t really know how to set up and/or pay off jokes (when he actually comes up with one) without breaking them down (like he does with the picture taking).

    He’s like that kid in Kindergarten who heard the ‘Orange you glad I didn’t say Banana’ joke, then tells it to everyone he knows, but butchers the delivery and tries to explain the punch line because you (justifiably) didn’t laugh.

    In the hands of a capable comedic mind (which I’m not sure exists today), A Million Ways to Die in the West could work. It would need actual jokes and character development, but there were the seeds of something in the premise.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes. Along with the criminals and drinkers.

  • nemo3590

    Same experience here. in the row below me a woman brought her two young kids, one of them a girl about 5-years-old. I rolled my eyes and started enjoying the movie (Yes, I enjoyed the Watchmen movie–come at me bros). As soon as Dr. Manhattan’s giant blue penis came on screen the little girl cried out, “What is that! Gross!” She sounded close to tears. I almost cracked a rib stifling laughter as the woman hurriedly shuffled her two kids out of the theater.

  • Cobresol

    There certainly was an attempt at comedy, but most of the humor was centered around scatological, cursing and/or cheap references (like the cameos).

    The movie had too many farts and not enough ‘winks’.

  • Johnny Moe

    JFK and Abe Lincoln had very distinct superpowers.

  • fred

    JFK and Abe Lincoln suffered from the same superpower.

  • Jeff Pollard

    Maybe so many old people went to see A Million Ways to Die because they want to figure out how they should die.

  • Jean-François Martel

    Oh thank you, i was genuinely wondering… Pfew! Things could have become wacky!!

  • fred

    Seth’s like an embarrassed fifth grader with his mom in those interviews.

  • jimmy

    Oh come on you guys were way too hard on A Million Ways to Die in the West. It wasn’t fantastic but compared to most comedies it was fine.

    And Mike, I don’t know why I have to explain this, but the part where NPH made the crappy pun about Seth being a Sheeper before the gun fight was supposed to show his decline from the suave cool guy in the beginning to the shallow idiot he really was. This was extremely obvious and implying this was a pun that was supposed to be funny is unfair to the movie. And while obvious this one joke doesn’t turn things around for the movie completely, it was just a very obvious example of you guys either just not “getting” something or (more likely) feigning not getting it to further disparage the movie.

    Also the point of the Ryan Reynolds cameo (I think) is that he’s really good looking. So when nobody says who kissed Neeson’s wife, Neeson shoots the best looking guy in the room just to be safe. Ewan McGregor’s five second cameo of saying he laughed at NPH’s joke because everyone else did earlier, however, didn’t make sense to me.

  • locoma

    oh how I love the RLM comments gifs

  • smurfy

    55% is only 5% off the true number

  • mk741

    While McFarlene certainly deserves being critiqued for making himself an embarrassingly humorless and self-congratulatory star vehicle, critiquing him for writing the said mess isn’t exactly right.

    Like fellow luminary Mr. Sandler, McFarlene’s gotten to a point in his career where “trying” isn’t really necessary any more. I imagine he had no real input in the script (beyond perhaps shrugging indifferently when the final draft was handed in), and simply left the bulk of the work to the other two screen writers/ hacks.

    At the end of the day, he has a name/ brand that will put asses in seats (with the help of some notable Hollywood friends/ recognizable names, who wouldn’t say no to an easy pay check). Hence, a movie is made.

    I did find one thing amusing from what was mentioned.

    “Seth McFarlene plays a sheep farmer.”

    I’d like to think that was an intentional bit of commentary on his fan base/ McFarlene in a nutshell.

  • Alex Lee

    I’m not a hundred percent on him having NO imput; he is the senior writer with the most clout in the entire project, but you are right in that he doesn’t have to try anymore. That’s the difference between South Park and Family Guy. Trey Parker and Matt Stone do try and come up with something fresh. They don’t always succeed, but I never felt like they were phoning in their work. I can’t say the same for Seth McFarlane.

    Man, I wish he was Todd McFarlane now. At least his work looks cool if nothing else.

  • Studio Executive

    They look ready to be cast in Ghostbusters III…

  • Mark Bisone

    That’s not really the point of the article. IQ is a bell curve with normal distribution (100 with a standard deviation of 15). But the average American thinks he is smarter than the average American. Only 4% of people polled thought they were “less intelligent” than the average American, while 34% thought they were about as intelligent as the average. The results are not remotely a bell curve.

    It gets even more distorted when you look at the breakdown of much-more-intelligent versus slightly-more-intelligent. Almost a fifth of responders declared themselves “much more intelligent” than the average. Meanwhile “much less intelligent” got a score of 1%, with “slightly less intelligent” garnering a whopping 3%. Dumb people don’t see themselves as dumb, even (especially?) when they are lagging down at the low end of the curve.

    It’s just a poll, of course, but it’s illustrative.

  • Percy Gryce

    “Ask and you shall receive Mike.”

    I’d like some Mike, please. When does he arrive?

  • sciencemile

    The same way George Lucas managed to make Star Wars; <_< great editing and not having complete creative control.

    Also I think you misplaced the word "legitimate" in your reading of what I said. 😛

  • sciencemile

    If it weren’t for the fact that it isn’t an isolated case I’d almost swear she was taking the piss out of him in those interviews; “His comedy is NOT one-dimensional” <.<

  • sciencemile

    Maybe it’s the Adam Sandler effect where his movies are crap but he’s a nice guy?

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    I’ve never got the impression that MacFarlane is lazy like Sandler. MacFarlane’s problem is that he’s so full of himself and thinks he’s a million times funnier than he is. Sandler is just a lazy hack out for cash, and not that MacFarlane doesn’t wanna get paid but he seems to like putting himself out there and “trying new things”…although he’s not nearly as clever or original as he thinks he is.

  • Garland

    uh don’t you mean Atheist? show some respect please

  • noxcovenant

    The ending of this HiTB was kinda sad.

    Even though I knew it was a green screen, it actually felt like I was in 1999 partying at Spring Break for an entire 35 minutes. You guys really sold it.

  • Percy Gryce

    She is doing something right:

  • Percy Gryce

    Fucking Disqus.

  • DanceOfBirther

    I’ve hated Paltrow since 90s. People: “Gwyneth is my fav British actess!” Me: “She’s American.” People: “No, she isn’t! They wouldn’t have an American have sex with Shakespeare!” I’m making up that last quote, but the rest is all true.

  • DanceOfBirther

    And it’s still better than anything he’s produced in the last ten years.

  • Mechagucha

    “You’d do it for Randolph Scott.”

  • DanceOfBirther

    But you would feel like sitting there if if usher’s weren’t hovering? I guess I’m lucky at my local theaters because if the ushers stick their heads in and see me sitting there they only comeback in when I leave. They always say, “Thanks for coming” and only then is my movie experience complete. I do this for every movie, unless I’m pressed for time, but then I feel burned.

  • Mark Dowell

    Haven’t even watched this yet but was super excited to see that it was up. I really appreciate the film discussion you guys have and the cynicism towards poor modern movies. The Plinkett review of The Phantom Menance is a great example of something entertaining/educational for people wanting to learn more about how to make effective movies. Thanks guys. 🙂

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Sooooo…whatever happened to the doll that disappeared in the The Conjuring review?

  • Crikey Mate Down Under Aussie

    Fair enough, I can only talk from my experience and scenes like that got plenty of laughs, maybe it’s an Australian thing

  • Dan Colts

    “Sheep are hard to train, they don’t listen to ewe.”

  • Dar

    “just like the bit in the comics where he tears the adamantium off of his skeleton…One of the most memorable moments in comics history I guess, hard to forget an image like that when you’re ten years old reading what you thought was another wacky x-men adventure.”

    Yes memorable. Memorable because it was when Wolverine was forever ruined.

    Magneto should not have had the power to do that (he might as well be Molecule Man, and why didn’t he ever do that before?), and having Wolverine have bone claws and then slowly turn into a nose-less monkey was when Wolverine became a bad joke, a bad joke that would culminate in him surviving a nuclear bomb or being 130 years old.

  • Dar

    I thought Quicksilver was nowhere near that fast in the comics.

  • Dar

    “American Dad”? “The Cleveland Show”?

    You mean “Family Guy 2” and “Black Family Guy”?

  • Derpship Down

    I have a whole set of those old Marvel cards with power ratings and all that jazz somewhere in my parent’s basement, I suppose curiosity may get me to have a look.

  • Sully

    Great episode, guys. Though you probably should’ve chosen a different brand of beer whilst using a green screen.

  • Ben Reilly

    I’d be more inclined to like X-Men Days of Future Past if the previous films in the series weren’t filled with ridiculous continuity errors and plotholes. Really, the only reason this movie exists the way it does is because 20th Century Fox’s writers and directors never watched each other’s movies.

  • Captain Sheryl Crow

    A Million Ways to Die in the West has a rotten tomatoes score of 33%. Transcendence has a score of %. That means that on average, critics find a comedy about poop and absolutely low brow humor that isn’t even done well to be superior to a poorly done original sci fi idea with creative and intelligent elements. It’s not just the dumb masses anymore, it’s the critics too!

    And I’m not saying Transcendence is good, but come on, it’s better than this fucking abomination.

  • babyjew

    Hugh Jackman is a HORRIBLE Wolverine. He’s way too bland to come off as a menacing half man half animal anti hero. If Jack Nicholson was younger, he would of made spot on Wolverine. Oh well…..

  • Mister_Misinformed

    If you’re going to criticize Seth MacFarlane for repeating jokes that the audience got the first time, it’s probably a good idea not to do it in a video in which you keep repeating “Amanda Seafood.”

  • Ogrot

    I think this movie is less Seth MacFarlane being a fraud, a lazy cynic, and a talentless hack and rather Seth MacFarlane getting a harsh lesson in what his personal limits are.

    1.) He is not a screen or stage actor, he is cartoon voice actor. He has to face the fact that he just has the kind of face and radio quality voice and shit eating grin that makes him look like a smarmy smug asshole all the time. It is hard to like a person like that on screen enough for us to laugh with him. In Family Guy Brian makes essentially the same commentary has the similar perspective of the outsider voice of reason, but his posture and facial expression do not make that voice come from the face of a smarmy asshole so we like him more. Seth seems like the ambitious person who wants to do it all like some kind of renaissance man, but if live acting is going to be his new bailywick he is going to have to take some time to actually hone his craft. By the way do not confuse this with me saying that Seth MacFarlane is a self absorbed smarmy douchebag asshole, I’m saying his screen presence comes off that way in its presentation whether intentionally or unintentionally. It may be the unfixable problem of that’s just how he looks and how his mannerisms are regardless of what he does.

    2.) Like the rest of us mortals he is not capable of churning out a good parody script on a genre he obviously doesn’t know enough about to be a serious curator of it. It seems like he saw the recent remake of True Grit, Django Unchained, and 3:10 to Yuma and thought this would be a nifty joke premise but didn’t think through how he could lampoon the genre because outside his limited knowlege there wasn’t much else to go on. But he already got a pile of cash to make it, so he’s got to write something, so cue the recycling of old family guy material and a gross amount of offputting sex humor. So with the parody angle (which admitedly is his wheelhouse as a writer and director of cartoons) he tries to do things he is obviously not good at perhaps hoping to get better at it. Not necessarily something to be discouraged but experimentation like that is better for a smaller project. The reality is when the heart and marketing point of a project that you are writing for is something you don’t know much about the project needs a change of heart or to be handed off to someone who does know how to write about it.

    3.) Directing actors is not the same as directing voice actors in a cartoon. In a cartoon the animator and director has total control over the visual chemistry between all of the characters in the frame. In live theatre and movies the actors are not marionettes. Their blocking and timing is integral to the comedy trying to be produced and the director needs to invest them in that and I think he failed in spades in that regard. The process is simply more collaborative than being a three man team churning out weekly cartoons.

    4.) You can’t spread yourself so thin. How many one man writer, director, star, producer comedies reach high acclaim and notoriety? The Room doesn’t count! We all know that wasn’t intentionally a comedy.

  • Space Cop, he’s on the case.

  • idntcare

    It’s hosted on Blip, not by them.

  • Baramos x

    The ushers hovering might have begun my general distaste for sitting there for six minutes, but First Class not having anything at all has helped solidify it.

  • ChickenSandwich

    Gotta say I feel I’ve learned a great deal about movies from these guys. I think that’s why I trust these reviews completely.

  • ChickenSandwich

    Jackman isn’t a complete natural fit, but I think he does a great job and puts in 100% and clearly cares. Of course he we would care, it’s the role that ignited his career and he knows it but at least he’s cool enough to know that and give it everything no matter how good or bad the movies have been.

    He single handedly made Origins watchable. Everything else was falling around him in that movie but he held it together. Guy was clearly surrounded by hacks on that one but he still put in a decent turn.

    I feel he’s earned the role, and grown into it. In Days of Future Past I thought he looked as right as McAvoy and Fassbender were in their roles. Those three just felt right.

  • Providence

    They aren’t making a feature length movie. They are also doing something they do EVERY EPISODE which is make fun of what they are reviewing by doing the stupid shit the movie does.

  • DanceOfBirther

    I think lack of scene in First Class was due to Vaughn’s attitude that film was analogous to a “Marvel Ultimate” or one-shot comic book. I was surprised when I first heard it didn’t have one, seeing as X-Men 3 started the whole gag.

  • DanceOfBirther

    I would argue that the Peter MacDonald’s second unit didn’t fail. When his credit came up I realized why some of the action felt like another movie. I do agree that Jackman’s charisma is what prevented me walking out. It was also hot outside.

  • ChickenSandwich

    It seems as though they all exist in different universes.

    X-Men 1, 2 and 3: No Sentinals universe. Weapon X happened (It’s implied by Stryker that he gave Wolverine claws – so this is old school Wolverine). Sabretooth and Toad are very different. Cyclops, Jean and Xavier die.

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Sabretooth fight wars together. Wolverine has bone claws here before Weapon X. Emma Frost and Cyclops are teens in the 70’s.

    The Wolverine: Wolverine has bone claws again and has his skeleton removed. No Sentinals.

    First Class: Wolverine is not in Vietnam. Emma Frost is 30-odd etc.

    Days of Future Past: Sentinals always existed. Xavier did not die but Cyclops and Jean did. Toad is different. Wolverine never lost his metal claws in the future etc. Old Wolverine suffered Weapon X but new Wolverine will not. Old wolverine lives happily ever after in new alternate future where Sentinals did not exist. Weapon X does not happen which prevents the incident at Strykers base creating The Phoenix and so Scott and Jean are back.

    I just look at them as alternate universes, it’s easier.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This is exactly why, uh, like… yeah.

    Oh yeah! This is exactly why punctuation matters.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Agreed. He did really well in that role.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Are you fucking kidding me? You want him to say atheist with a capital ‘A’? Do you also want his to say ‘nonreligious’ with a capital ‘N’?

    Unless you’re joking and I’ve failed to see it, this comment is Stupid, with a capital ‘S’.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m glad someone else brought that up. I like that subtle design change, although we don’t really see it in the film itself. It’s probably the best iteration of the claws to date.

    http://www.x-menmovies.com/images/posters/Xmen-Mystique-Wolverine.jpg

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Whaaaaat?!

    You mean Clint Eastwood didn’t always sound like a gruff old man?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    So my drug addiction is what keeps me lean?

    PERFECT!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Tiny, tiny testicular cancer.

    Edit: Shit, this was supposed to be a reply to Derpship Down when asking, “What more do you want?”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It got deleted?

    After checking through all my comments, I guess it did get deleted [I replied to that specific one]. I felt it had gone a bit too far.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That better become a thing. It’s fun to say.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I told my friends tonight that you had made this painfully unfunny pun [wasn’t it originally HipsHers?] and that I still burst out laughing at it. They found it amusing as well.

    Congratulations, you entered into my real world.

  • Derpship Down

    Mike asks about training sheep. I post this epic sheep shit, and all you got is jackboot grammar lessons?

  • Mister_Misinformed

    Nope, they were not saying “Amanda Seafood” as a satire of “the stupid shit the movie does.” The joke about Mike getting actor names wrong has been recurrent in Red Letter Media productions since early Plinkett. I anxiously await your next sycophantic excuse.

  • contagioned

    Mystique’s and Rogue’s genes could’ve been arguably both been used. Since Rogue wasn’t mentioned at all.

  • Clive Seddon

    Do you want to have another stab at that sentence?

  • contagioned

    it’s much more fun to not edit it and reply to this instead

    -been

  • Mr Bighead

    You wrote your own reply to this…

    “i cant imagine anything more pedantic and annoying that someone complaining about someone else’s capitalization. you are truly a sad person with nothing better to do, please go on a diet and take up exercise”

  • TapewormBike

    It was actually. And hey, your youtube videos had been by my gf, so, I think we can oficially announce we got the gays for each other.

  • noxcovenant

    I think Mike Stoklasa’s problem is that Seth repeats jokes as a method of indulging himself, not necessarily that he repeats the joke. It’s like the Chicken Fight in Family Guy. Not only does he keep repeating it, but it keeps getting longer and longer. Pretty soon, the fight will last an entire 22 minutes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Living up to your Disqus name, I see.

  • ChickenSandwich

    Like Conway Twitty jokes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    If I ever head over to Milwaukee, Red Letter Media, what are some nice places to visit downtown? This tourism video kinda glosses over any hot spots and oddly enough, after watching the video, I suddenly feel like giving oral sex. Perhaps it’s because I forgot to take my brain medicine again.

    PS – Is there any establishment in Milwaukee to fuck the pain away?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiTnGot__KU

  • faraday
  • faraday

    Scottish actor Ewan McDonald was also in the movie apparently. (For some reason…)

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Make it so Number Taco.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I hope he doesn’t leave. I like that some of us have weird personas for this little corner of the universe.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I’d rather sound like a gruff old man than turn into a curmudgeon like Harrison Ford 🙂

  • Bill Perman

    Regarding XMen, I could not disagree with them more. XMen was a fine film if continuity, plot, and logic have no purpose in film making. They completely overlooked the lack of Xavier’s return to life backstory, the adamantium claws, the dystopic future that was never the impression left by the previous films, or that Sentinels have always existed. Come on guys.

  • Will Wright

    A Million Ways WAS made by a capable comedic mind – it’s called Blazing Saddles by Mel Brooks.

  • Derpship Down

    So I went ahead a saw the movie they didn’t recommend. Ready?
    This movie appears to revolve around the fact that some guys are pussies, and despite the title, spends the length of the feature trying to convince us the a pussy for a man is a better choice than those with the balls to defend themselves.

    I wouldn’t normally use such base language to describe the cowardice of a man, but they’re pretty much direct quotes from the script. Cock jokes for children. For shame.

  • Derpship Down

    Meanwhile, in movie theatres showing ‘Maleficent’ children can be heard screaming “Noooooooooo!” and mothers with overly emotionally and tender children are furiously writing their online reviews.
    Hopefully this gets Jay interested enough to screen it.

  • swishman

    everyone has seen breaking bad, game of thrones, they are popular tv shows with a wide audience. breaking bad is all out on dvd, so just buy it and watch it man, its the best! i would hate to hear negative things about breaking bad which in my mind is 10/10 perfect, but they can rip on game of thrones and walking dead all day and i would love it

  • Jeremy Davis

    oooohhhh…. i see what you did there. you did a thing. very clever. personally, i enjoy baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-d sheep puns.

  • Jeremy Davis

    Sheep jokes! I love em!

  • Jeremy Davis

    Seth McFarlane looks like he was hit in the face with a sledgehammer when he was 10 and then had it reconstructed based off of a GI Joe toy.

  • Jeremy Davis
  • Patrick

    He does look pretty ashamed, especially with Charlize Theron stumbling over some of the questions. Though, it does make me curious what she actually thinks about the movie. She’s really a fantastic actor (I’m not just saying that because I went to school with her niece), and I can’t imagine she doesn’t feel at least a little bit embarrassed by this train wreck

  • Mads Bolding Fenger Poulsen

    To quote John Cleese:
    It’s hard for stupid ones to realize just how
    stupid they are – you would have to be relatively clever to work out
    that you are stupid…. And this explains not just Hollywood, but almost
    the entirety of Fox News!

  • Mads Bolding Fenger Poulsen

    Hmm… The Hobbit, Star Trek Into Darkness (although i’ve not seen that) and 12 years a Slave? Those films were quite exposed. I would imagine that the love for him mostly comes from him playing Sherlock Holmes in the British series “Sherlock”.

  • Mads Bolding Fenger Poulsen

    Hmm… The Hobbit, Star Trek Into Darkness (although i’ve not seen that) and 12 years a Slave? Those films were quite exposed. I would imagine that the love for him mostly comes from him playing Sherlock Holmes in the British series “Sherlock”.

  • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

    Speaking of “sycophantic excuse”, how is any of this relevant to their criticism of Seth McFarlane? Is it less correct? Is it less valid? Nope. It’s still a correct as fuck, even if Mike and Jay were worse offenders than McFarlane – which they aren’t.

    If it makes you feel better, I never repeat jokes (because I don’t make jokes), and I also find McFarlane’s constant repeating of the same joke and the same set ups and the same phrase constructions and the same dialogue beats, etc, to be unfunny and formulaic hackery.

  • sepiajack

    That was great! Was out enjoying the sunshine all day yesterday so just saw this this morning. Glad they loved X-men as much as I did!

    I had zero interest in A Million Ways to Die the West, so this 15 review was all the entertainment I could hope for.

    Mike’s bit about future pants had me in stitches.

  • sepiajack

    What?

  • sepiajack

    Xavier being alive was explained in X3, what isn’t explained is why he still looks like Patrick Stewart. But you know what, the value of having Patrick Stewart back outweighs any illogic of his return, and the comics bring people back to life nonsensically all the time. With in the context of THIS movie, it was a non-issue.

    The adamantium claws has a simple enough explanation: Bone claws would be useless against sentinels (as seen), magneto has the ability to put metal back on wolverines claws (as seen with what he does to the sentinels in the train sequence), Magneto comments to Wolverine when he meets him “nice claws, but imagine if they were metal?” that’s good enough for me.

    The dystopian future has always been a looming possibility, and again within the context of this movie it is explained. Plus why do you think Xavier’s danger room program in X3 was a dystopian warzone with sentinels if not to prepare them for what he knew might be coming?

  • sepiajack

    I don’t like any of McFarlane’s work, but I’ll give him this: he gets a lot done, he produces and is heavily involved in like 4 shows, makes movies, wrote a novel, etc. He gets shit done, its just that its shit.

    Interesting trivia fact too: SM was supposed to be aboard one of the 9/11 planes but missed his flight by 1 minute because he stopped to tie his shoe.

  • sepiajack

    Plus Russel Crowe or any of the other actors they were looking at would never have done 7 movies as the character, they would have jumped ship after 1 or 2, I like that Jackman respects his roots, and unlike Bruce Willis and many others he never phones in anything

  • sepiajack

    X-men is very comparable to Star Trek. Star trek franchise has tons of continuity errors, but at least it (used to be) ambitious and charming, and the same is true for Xmen.

    The mark of a great movie or movies is not something devoid of flaws or imperfections, but one where its great despite its imperfections, and maybe even because of them.

    I love that the storm trooper hits his head on the door in star wars, even though its a ‘flaw’

  • Mark Bisone

    Creepy sex looks.

  • Derpship Down

    Which part? The movie opens with our protagonist showing up for a duel and acting like a chickenshit modern day hipster. Naturally he gets dumped by this precious little peach of a girl who is in obvious need of better protection in the harsh world the story carries us through. That is the plot, but they act like she’s a snob for it. I can’t even get into the buddy sidekick role in polite company.

  • sepiajack

    No, I just wasn’t clear what movie you were talking about.

  • Derpship Down

    Oh, the one they didn’t recommend. I don’t recommend it either.

  • Ben Reilly

    That’s the thing though; in Star Trek, the errors aren’t bad enough that each X-Men film could be considered a separate universe from the other; that stuff is relatively minor compared to the noticeable issues between X1, X2, X3, X-Men: Origins, First Class, The Wolverine, and Days of Future Past. The stormtrooper hitting his head on the door in Star Wars isn’t something that you can compare to massive continuity errors and shoddy script-writing, IMO. That doesn’t affect the plot in any serious way at all the way some of the plotholes in X-Men do.

    I just can’t agree with you on this idea that bad writing and lack of a more streamlined continuity makes this a “great” movie. You don’t have to have perfection (nothing is perfect), but there should be a concerned effort to make your overall continuity work.

  • Mr Bighead

    Sounds like you saw what you wanted to see.

  • sepiajack

    Oh I misunderstood, I thought you meant you saw a movie that hasn’t been reviewed on Half in the Bag, some sort of outside the box movie, (or I guess outside the bag in this case) and was just curious what it was

  • Derpship Down

    God no, it was much worse than the boys suggested.

  • sepiajack

    The sentinels were hinted at in X2 and X3.

    Wolverine did not have his skeleton removed in The Wolverine, he had his claws chopped off and the bone claws grew back but just didn’t have metal on the claws, but he still has a skeleton of bones, and all his bones still had metal except for his claws.

    Wolverine had amnesia so that’s why he didn’t remember sabertooth. Whether Sabertooth remembered Wolverine or not is unclear, either he did and didn’t say so, or its a continuity error.

  • ChickenSandwich

    Completely agree with that. I’m not a huge fan of the bone claw retcon. I much preferred the idea of his only power being that he healed and was given claws as a concealed weapon via Weapon X.

    I remember reading WWII stories with him fighting alongside Captain America and he used claw gauntlets because they hadn’t invented the bone claw nonsense. I would have prefered that if anything – the Weapon X program simply integrates his favourite weapon into his arm.

    I just think the bone claws diminish the transformation and trauma of what happened to him during the Weapon X program. It went from “holy shit what did they do to me?” to “Oh well, that happened.”

    In origins, he slices everything up with his claws because he’s amazed at them and is very clumsy with them. Why? Shouldn’t he have just gone “oh, my blades are metal now, that’s cool” and pop them back in – why did he lose control of them? Again, would make sense if the claws were a new feature, but in this film they weren’t.

  • Mr Bighead

    No, I mean it sounds as if you applied your own personal values to the character in the film and that’s how you judged it.

    The premise of the film is that Albert chooses to be a coward pragmatically out of self preservation. By the end of the story he has learned that he can be a hero by using his wits.

  • Derpship Down

    I’m quite sure I saw what was being portrayed. The antagonists were high testosterone, facial hair growing men who were thriving in a tough environment. The protagonist and his buddy were raging pussies and failures in life, they made damn sure we knew that. If they hadn’t slotted in a full minute a piece ensuring the audience knew the tough guys were the bad guys and undesirable for some reason… you wouldn’t accuse me of projecting.

  • Bill Perman

    No. Patrick Stewart returning does not forgive not addressing this issue (especially when at Comic-Con he said it would). Imagine for a moment back in the day they just finished releasing Star Trek 2 Wrath of Khan. Then they immediately release The Voyage Home where Kirk and Spock go back in time. Although it is arguably one of the best in the series, without the “Search For Spock” film, I would not, could not, enjoy the film because Spocks ressurection was never resolved. I cant take the “well, Leonard Nimoy is back, that’s all that matters.” This would take me out of the film, just as it for Days of Futures Past. Furthermore, what else took me out of the film was the future setting. I have no problem with sci fi settings in general, but all three original films, as well as the Wolverine all took place in a near future. They were very real, very believable futures. Nothing fantastic. This films future takes place in roughly 2022, so now I need to buy that in a span of eight years, we’ll have space ships, laser prisons, giant robots, a Orwellian government, a reimagined new york city, etc. In short, it didn’t feel familiar, relatable, and like aliens in an Indiana Jones film, felt out of place. But it isnt just an unrelatable future, it was an unrelatable past. In an era that predates atari and chordless telephones, that something as sophisticated as sentinels are running around? Again, sci fi is one thing, but I take exception to any fictional setting that violates its own established reality. In short, I was left trying to either put pieces together or hoping eventually the film would, and kept me from enjoying it for what it was.

  • Thanatos2k

    But if you’re going to claim it’s “oh it’s an alternate universe where technology is way better than our world and far more advanced things are possible!” then you have to show that. You can’t have a world that is identical to ours AND intentionally attempting to make the audience identify with the world as such EXCEPT when it is convenient to the plot.

    As Plinkett has always said: “Plot convenience = movie suck.”

    This movie doesn’t suck though, so it should know better than that.

  • Thanatos2k

    But then she hands papers to the secretary. If it was an illusion she’d be handing the papers from equivalent heights, but the secretary leans over to get them from Trask.

    They just didn’t think it through.

  • Thanatos2k

    And fat Elvis.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    No, I heard he was hungover and didn’t leave his hotel room for the flight.
    It was a close shave for Seth, but I don’t think it was THAT close

  • Thanatos2k

    ….And that’s how Jimmie Fallon got to be the host of the Tonight Show.

  • Thanatos2k

    Every Pixar trailer spends 15 seconds boasting about what other movies the people who worked on it have made.

  • Thanatos2k

    RLM comedy works because it KNOWS it sucks a lot of the time. A crappy joke that would be played straight in a Sandler or Macfarlane piece is instead followed by awkward silence and the RLM characters looking sad or glancing at the camera, as it should be.

  • Thanatos2k

    5. It detected Mystique all the time. It detected her when she was disguised as the Viet Cong guy, and it detected her in the bunker with Nixon.

  • Thanatos2k

    Well you need only look at the video games they produced.

    Parker and Stone worked closely with the devs on South Park Stick of Truth and the result is a game that’s about as close to the show as any video game has ever been.

    Family Guy released a free-to-play scam game that copies the Simpsons version of the same crappy concept and is overall complete garbage. Macfarlane probably wasn’t involved and didn’t care.

  • sepiajack

    Either way, it must be a bizarre fact to have be true about oneself

  • David Farrell

    True – but Simba doesn’t sit in a couch for 15 seconds of the trailer talking about the fact that there’s a new movie out called “Frozen”

  • Thanatos2k

    I’m pretty sure the writers are pretending that X3 never happened.

  • sepiajack

    Ewan McGregor was in the Phantom Menace with Liam Neeson, so if you think about it….

    actually I have no idea.

  • sepiajack

    The conclusion I’ve come to is most actors don’t care as much about the final product of a film or show as much as they do about what the process/environment/co-stars/director etc will be like to work with. I’m sure plenty of shitty movies were fun to make, or let the actors travel to neat countries or do some sort of stunt or whatever they would otherwise not get to do. And many great films were probably not much fun to make at all. Elijah Wood once explained the reason he made that terrible FLIPPER movie was because he got paid to spend 3 months in Australia swimming with dolphins. When you look at a job prospect that way for actors, a lot of these inexplicable career choices make a lot more sense.

  • sepiajack

    To be fair there were subtle hints about the sentinels in X2 and X3.
    I see it as they were in ongoing development and not ready and/or sanctioned for use until around the time post X3 when we see the post credit scene after the end of the Wolverine. Don’t forget Trask died in the original timeline and he was the main scientist behind them.

    This is pretty true to the comics actually that the threat of the sentinels being put into production and unleashed on mutants if the government passes that law and activates project Wide Awake, but its always being forestalled.

    Magneto fighting Beast and Mystique in view of the public was a deviation to the original timeline, hence the sentinel program being accelarated and the whitehouse press conference which wouldn’t have occured in the original timeline where mystique killed Trask in France covertly.

    In the new timeline for the franchise going forward I imagine we’ll see 1980s or 1990s or 2000s era sentinels in some subsequent film, especially since Trask is still alive now.

  • sepiajack

    No this movie definitely continues from X3, as proven by the return of Ellen Page, and Cyclops and Jean being dead when the movie starts. But it does effectively ERASE X3 from the timeline at the end, which is a better approach.

  • sepiajack

    3. Xavier takes the high road, he would never murder someone even with good reason, this has constantly been brought up in the series and most specifically during the trainstation standoff in the first film
    4. Beast was killed after X3 before the future parts of DoFP by sentinels, since Wolverine changed the future, presumably to be less sentinelish, Beast was not killed

  • sepiajack

    The Weapon X deviation to the timeline makes a lot of sense if you think about it, because Stryker’s plan in X2 is what lead to Jean’s ‘death’ which lead to the Phoenix in X3, and subsequently Scott and Xavier’s deaths, so if Wolverine never goes with stryker and instead is claimed by Mystique to some end, then that would explain Scott and Jean being back at the end.

    Essentially I think what we can take from the ending is the series will move forward from the 1970s stuff, and the writers now have the freedom to do whatever they like without having to work withing the confines of the continuity of X1-X3, and the 2 wolverine movies. First Class is still canon, but otherwise its a soft reboot going ahead which they can tell new stories, or retell previous stories in a different way.

  • sepiajack

    The Future Pants bit too

  • sepiajack

    LOL Which episode is this gif from???????

  • sepiajack

    Oh my stars in garters!

  • the_antithesis

    The reason, Jay, why you found Days of Future Past to be similar to the first X-Men movie is because the first X-Men movie took a few elements from a story in the comics called, appropriately enough, Days of Future Past. It’s considered a watershed moment for the comics series hence why two out of five movies, at least (I didn’t see the 3 or 4), borrow elements from it. It’s like why Batman movies tend to retell the story of how Bruce Wayne’s parents were killed because there is absolutely nothing else interesting about Batman.

  • Captain Sheryl Crow

    I get the vibe they’re going for a comic book type thing. If you look at all of the X-Men movies, including First Class and Wolverine and Wolverine again, a lot doesn’t line up even without this movie. Days of Future Past is just another one where things don’t perfectly line up, like most of the others. They’re each their own movie, and I don’t think they’re trying to actually tell a connected story like LotR or something.

  • Captain Sheryl Crow

    Random thought, but I found it funny that Star Trek was on in the background when Beast was talking about the quantum physics time travel stuff. If Star Trek exists in their universe, shouldn’t Star Trek The Next Generation also exist? Meaning Patrick Stewart is an actor playing Picard in a universe he’s playing Professor X in? Mind fuck…engage

  • Guest

    The reason why no one smiles in old photos is because it took about twenty minutes to take a photograph.

  • Wait, they did a Dark Souls stream?! When?

  • sepiajack

    Stuff like that always messes with my head. Like whatshername on the Sopranos also being the wife in Goodfellas, but the sopranos constantly talk about goodfellas.

    Maybe its a last action hero type scenario where TNG does exist in the xmen world, but Picard is played by another actor? There’s also an xmen/TNG cross over comicbook where their resemblence to each other is acknowledged.

    The actual reason for the star trek clip though in DoFP is because editor/composer John Ottman and Bryan Singer are both huge trek fans

  • sepiajack

    Well there is that storyline where he dresses up as a bat and commits his entire life to fighting crime, but they’ve adapted that into some of the movies too.

  • sepiajack

    Really?

  • Year One, Long Halloween, The Dark Knight Returns, Mask of the Phantasm, A Death in the Family…Batman has alot of good stories mostly focusing mostly on him.

  • I love that they made a movie detailing the sympathetic origins of a character whose appeal was how enjoyably and irredeemably evil she was.

    Man she’s not even green, fuck this noise…

  • Derpship Down

    I liked it, for a kids movie it wasn’t a fluffball, didn’t pull many punches and kinda had something for everyone. Hales’ right about sympathetic origins, but it goes a bit further, the witch gets royally screwed and I heard children screaming. Good stuff

  • dollar store cashier wife

    they point that out in the review…

  • Percy Gryce

    As a sage once said, “It’s always funny when someone gets kicked in the balls.”

  • Percy Gryce

    As someone once said, “Punctuation: it’s the difference between a natal greeting and a pedophilic imperative.”

    I think he was referring to “Dick[,] the Birthday Boy.”

  • ChickenSandwich

    I quite like the idea that Emma was cloned and what we saw in Origins was one of her clones. It happened in the comics so I’m fine with that. She had about five clones if I recall. Superhero writers love cloning shit.

    Also there’s a kid who looks like he’s meant to be Quicksilver stuck in a cage bound by what looks like bungee ropes. Maybe that is actually him.

    Looks like Sabretooth underwent some sort of experiment to turn him into a half Wookie.

  • Real Quantum
  • Real Quantum

    Anyhoo, has anybody been able to translate the japanese text?

    Too late?
    Or too soon?

  • Real Quantum

    Bruce Wayne’s parents were killed??
    How about a spoiler alert?
    😉

  • Cobresol

    They also kill the joke in the movie by explaining that.

  • Cobresol

    Touche.
    Of course, that movie is now 40+ years old. So if a more ‘modern’ attempt at a Western parody were to be undertaken, it makes sense.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    S.O.S. please someone help me
    It’s not healthy… for me to feel this way
    Y.O.U. are making (Y.O.U.) this hard
    You got me tossin’ and turnin’ and can’t sleep at night

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Been been been benn bend band banned censor censorship government

    9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB!!! 9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB!!1! PRESERVE THE TRUTH!!!

    911PreserveTheTruth/911WasAnInsideJob.org

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Speaking of Rhiannon, I wonder when her next nipple slip or see through dress is going to be.

    Can’t wait!

  • Real Quantum

    Shouldn’t she be old now?
    Maybe the nipple slip is when she uncovers the knee?
    I don’t know, I’m confused.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Actually, he missed his flight by one nanosecond because dramatic tension.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    No idea. I sometimes find these things randomly and then save them to my computer. It’s a great GIF, though, and whoever made it gets a thumb up from me.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Same. That was the first time where I felt he may have gone too far [in a few places]. I think he’s just taking a typical break from RLM for a while… which means I guess some people on here actually have lives. Weird.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m in gays with you, Tapeworm. I pretty much have to since the medicine I’ve been taking to rid you from my intestines hasn’t been working.

    Also, which YouTube videos? I’m curious. My trailer reaction videos are rather boring [at least I find, anyway; I may make them and try to add in a few extra jokes or funny things, but I never seek out to find people reacting to movie trailers myself]. Hopefully they were my zanier ones. 😛

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Percy and I both enjoyed your post, though, seeing as how we upvoted it. Poking fun at grammar is, well, FUN [and assholish, which is right at home in these comments].

    Also, I’ve never worn a jackboot [I’ve worn similar but never that high]. I’d imagine they’d be very warm, especially with the humidity in my part of Candandia.

  • OH MY GAAAAAAAAWWWWWWD

    IT’S TWO OF MY FAVORITE THINGS COMBINED INTO ONE GLORIOUS…THING!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    When I say memorable, I mean that you remember it [on top of being good and suiting the material really well]. The fact that I’d need to hear it again to notice it, to me, would mean it’s not very memorable.

    It gets to a point where the music is part of the movie and swapping the music would make the film seem alien to you. If you swapped the music for Spider-Man, people would notice and it would be jarring. If the music for Captain America were swapped, I doubt people would care very much or notice.

  • sepiajack

    X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PANTS

  • TapewormBike

    Those as well, but I clicked around. Seeing someone entertained by something genuinely entertaining is fun too:)

  • JimTreacher

    It would’ve been funnier if MacFarlane had stopped to tie his shoe. That’s why it’s not true.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This is one I made years ago. The video is more like a non-joke than anything, with nothing really making sense or having anything to do with Viagra.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRF9NwV6xW4

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Some fun [boring] info about it:

    When I first uploaded it on my original collaborative channel [which got hacked and then deleted by some German dude in July/Aug of 2012; we had it since 2009], it eventually got roughly ~37,000 views after it was linked to other big videos [Viagra spoofs/parodies]. Most people hated it and it garnered a lot of hateful comments, which I found quite funny [“gayest shit I have EVER seen” was top comment]. It’s the least amount of work I had put into any of the videos on that channel and it became the video with by far the most views, having more than the sum of all the others combined. I found that amusing.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s so dry and awkward, with Mike making his usual pauses here and there and seeming so nonchalant and uninvested in what he’s saying.

    It’s comedy gold for me, which is probably why you used ‘Comic’ Sans.

  • DrBodyLanguage

    I don’t know where to post this but the Chinese have a musical and I thought you all might like it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i9ozy739c8

  • Whales

    hey guys I heard your half in the bag music in a stamps.com commercial the other day. what should i do?

  • omitted

    Aw, thank you guys for talking about me so fondly. As a matter of fact I actually was away this weekend with some PEOPLE and NO INTERNET. Fuck that shit!

  • omitted

    Did someone mention meth?

  • Skid Marx

    Jay! The manscaping looks good, dude! Keep those facial hairs trim, yo!

  • omitted

    No gas mask or nipple clamps? Amateurs!

  • disqus_1dQzKD1n4Z

    In this movie mentioning his height would break the fourth wall/suspension of disbelief and be silly, as it wouldn’t make much sense to make such an observation unless the audience is supposed to be aware that all the freaky mutants are just actors and that in fact the most unusual person in that scene is Peter Dinklage.

    That is why not pointing out his smaller than usual stature was more important in this movie than in any regular movie.

    It is great to see someone like him play a role that could have been written for any actor, and unfortunately even the kind of role Nichelle Nichols played as a black women then is still very rare these days. As even today racial minorities are more commonly typecast than not.

    Now does that (for instance) mean I want them to cast James Bond as a black guy next? Of course not, I just want him to be played by a great actor, Idris Elba just happens to be one.

  • disqus_1dQzKD1n4Z

    I see what you did there and I love it!

    I can just imagine their X-men names, “sugar” and “heartthrob”.

  • omitted

    Have you seen Shame? Fassbender definitely has that bad boy vibe…

  • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

    Hmm, all that language makes it sound like you really are projecting your own chauvinist stereotypes and vacant macho values. I mean, no offense 😉

    By the way, you do realise those successfully violent men with facial hair were the reason those times and places were so much more dangerous, right? Like the fella said, “Why do you have a gun?”, “I live in a dangerous neighborhood”, “It’d be safer if you moved”.

  • sepiajack

    I can never NOT use comic sans for these RLM stills after that Amazing Bulk BotW.

    And yes I agree, comedy gold for me too!

  • omitted

    Jackman is okay, not into really buff guys. McAvoy’s 70s hippie look didn’t do it for me either, but Hoult and Ashmore were damn fine!

  • disqus_1dQzKD1n4Z

    Another question then is, why can she not change herself to such an extent that she also gets mutant powers? That way the sentinel plot line using her genes at least make some sense.

    For me honestly, the way her skin ripples always gave me the impression she can just “cloak” her appearance like Predator can, but instead of sending through a transparant image she just sends through the image of the person she is mimicing. If that was her power, her mimic-ing Dinklage would be possible, his head would just be projected from belly-button height. She wouldn’t be able to mimic bigger people though.

    Anyway her powers have always seemed broken and not well thought out, which is more apparent in the movies because her powers are on screen too much.

  • guy

    What a couple of hack frauds.

  • My ex wife

    You can take me down town Taco, and I’ll show you my thing.

  • sepiajack

    I’m not saying it automatically makes it better, but even the worst films in this series XO:W and X3 still have a lot going for them, and overall I really enjoy the entire franchise. I think the fact that X3 has its issues has become part of the overall charm of the series, and the payoff of DoFP is made much better by the bad taste people had from X3 until now. The reward of those characters coming back, etc.

    Hey, not everyone needs to like everything, but for me the xmen movies are all very enjoyable and I think in many cases superior to their comic source material.

    What I’m getting at is just what you said, not everything needs to be perfect, and there’s an alarming amount of people nowadays who seem to think that the only two permutations of movies is perfection and total shit, and I don’t agree. it’s one of the reasons I like RLM so much because they can see both the good and bad in something without leaping to hyperbole. I’m not saying you are, but my comment was directed at the fact that many people do.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Is Method Man the one taking meth?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The only thing is I don’t know when they technically premiere these things, or how they’re announced. But it is fun to watch them while doing other stuff, my fave being Mike’s Power Stones.

  • disqus_1dQzKD1n4Z

    Not a huge fan of Seth Macfarlane, but I do consider him to be a (or even a few) class(es) higher than Adam Sandler. Can’t put my finger on it. Maybe because at the very least his productions aren’t lazy in anything other than his jokes?

  • disqus_1dQzKD1n4Z

    Which makes her smart, in acquiring money. Honestly 99% of making it in Hollywood is about who you know, and how much you kiss their ass, unfortunately.

  • disqus_1dQzKD1n4Z

    Just like David Letterman in his review with Adam Sandler, she did lay it on rather thick, which is why they (AS and SM) both seem rather uncomfortable while it is happening. Surprisingly them feeling awkward means they are also smart enough to be aware they are actually hacks.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Too bad his beard hides the beautiful sunburns he’s likely to receive throughout the summer.

  • My ex wife

    You know what you doing.

  • disqus_1dQzKD1n4Z

    To be honest, Family guy is (or at least used to be) more than about just pop culture references. Yes they are plenty, but there are some very decent running gags and character driven jokes in there. You just have to tolerate all the references, which is easier for a European like me since I only get 30% of them.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Nip slips and see-thru dresses are so yesterday, Taco. See-thru thongs and purposeful cut-out dresses are the new way to show you’re an attention-seeking…… I mean talented Battleship crew member.

  • disqus_1dQzKD1n4Z

    Even Family Guy can be decent, it really is more than just pop culture references, although Amercan Dad does seem to be lighter on those. Most of the jokes there are character driven. Which is fine. I still think it is hilarious they got Patrick Steward to voice his boss.

  • Memoman

    I really liked X-Men DoFP. Loved it. Also this episode was fantastic, Bravo!

    I also didn’t mind the comicbook creative sidesteps the movie took. I think they all worked for the better servicing of the plot and themes within the X-Men movie franchise universe.

    Allow me to be a nitpicking asshole nerd, for just a couple points that irked me a bit:

    1. Did they really need Magneto on board for saving the day? Seems like he didn’t contribute anything to further the plan. They could have just asked Quicksilver to help them stop Mystique. Magneto just went on with his plan, fucked over everyone else and in the end he didn’t even learn the “harmony” lesson.

    2. I think that, if anything, the events unfolded in the movie actually further prove the idea that mutants are really, really dangerous. (Though this can just easily be the setup for future development of the movie franchise.)

    Does anybody know why they can’t use the 90’s cartoon music theme? It’s the best and only memorable one the movie franchise has. Maybe it’s a bit too epic for these movies. DoFP is the first movie in the series that actually comes close to grand scale, high stakes feel of the cartoon. At least as kid remembers it.

  • omitted

    Figures that the one weekend in all year when I decide to go for three days somewhere to meet actual real people without internet connection is the same weekend I could have been furiously masturbating to a video of half-naked Jay. Oh well, it seems I have some catching up to do *unzips*

    In all seriousness, I also liked…. OH MY GAWD THOSE ARMS AND PITS AND THOSE SHORTS JUST LOOSE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO HOPE FOR A PEEK UP THE LEG… Sorry about that, my Caps lock got stuck there for a second from all the drool and cum covering my keyboard.

    X-Men: Gays of Future Parables is a great movie, best of the franchise imho. Maybe it’s because I was so pumped up about this movie beforehand, but it was still a very minor disappointment for me. All the elements were there, but to me at least the final ‘umph’ was somehow missing.

  • omitted

    For the entire HitB I was waiting for a ball slip from Jay

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Would you have preferred the original original story of “Well, I have 13 guests, but only 12 table settings. Mal, I’m sorry, but you’re shit out of luck.” Sometimes, I just wish THAT happened so people can see why you always have extra place settings just for this occasion. It saves your children so much heartache.

    I always think of the Plinkett reviews of Episode III with the Emperor just being evil and loving it. A woman not getting invited to a party is such a fun reason to inspire so much wrath, not this new crap.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Ooh! Ping Pong and Charred Steak!

    I’m so there.

  • Josh Sand

    Definitely, especially with the whole Rogue-not-being-alive-in-the-70’s aspect that is strangely ignored. Mystique was the next best thing, Jennifer Lawrence or no.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    What HiTB really needed was Eric Nies’ six pack showing up and dancing with them, a flashy MTV logo on the bottom right of the screen, and a breaking news brief with Kurt Loder saying Courtney Love is in jail again. Then they’d have really sold it.

  • sepiajack

    1. I think it mainly comes down to the future incarnation could not know exactly what would work, they had to hedge their bets about having both Magneto and xavier to try and reason with Mystique, since they both knew that she wouldn’t listen to Charles alone. It didn’t work, but they couldn’t have known that

  • Memoman

    MORE! You’ve barely covered half the movie! Keep going! This is fun! I really enjoyed the movie, I loved it. But this deconstruction is very constructive!

  • whip

    We also have past pants. Pants we wore yesterday, and the day before.

    Don’t get me started on past tents. (rimshot)

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Hey! Mary Todd Lincoln was a handsome woman and knew how to keep her vampire slayer happy. She had the greatest superpower of them all.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    James McAvoy was wonderful in Atonement also. If you need a better reason to see that movie, Keira Knightley’s tits kinda show up at some point.

  • Sulfur12

    also that means that there was comic book crossover between star trek and X-men…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    In response to the Female Critic bit, I think the only reason RLM did that was to show that no one would vouch for A Million Ways except some reporter from a Spanish TV channel. They weren’t making fun of her looks. They were making fun of a movie that can’t get a single established critic to praise the movie for their trailer/commercials.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    How do you keep the goo out of your keyboard? A compressed air can will only do so much.

  • Memoman

    I guess that could be justified in the context of Xavier and Magneto having such a long lasting relationship, further more in the future having bonded together growing older and wiser over so much struggle that they had a bit too much hope in young Magneto not turning into a treacherous asshole.

    But then again, Xavier is supposed to be a really deep psychic guy, so he should have known better. Also strategically, not the best plan. If the whole thing came down to a Hail Mary play to stop Mystique, they should have thought of a less riskier plan than adding the Magneto wildcard.

    But this is just assholish nitpicking on my part, I really, really enjoyed the movie and was completely invested in it, smiling, laughing, gasping and furiously masturbating.

  • Sulfur12

    well… this just tells you how low standards of “poorly done original sci fi idea with creative and intelligent elemnts” are. They are more poorly done, less original with no creative and intelliligent elements in comparison to poop joke movie.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Marvel Entertainment (Different from Marvel Studios) owned the cartoon series and was shown on Fox. However, the bankruptcy really creates a mystery as to who now owns those cartoons, and the subsequent intro theme.

  • Memoman

    Oooohhh… I remember the cartoon distinctively displaying a Fox logo, Fox Kids, or something. Great theme, maybe it doesn’t quite fit the movies, since the theme is more adventurous and swashbuckling than the movies more dramatic feel. But it still is, at least for me, the quintessential X-Men war cry.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Yep. I loved that show, too.

  • omitted

    I’ve noticed that the tears that inevitably come afterwards are a great solvent

  • Alex Lee

    That’s a good thing,and I’m perfectly willing to go along with that.

  • Alex Lee

    Of course Star Trek III is needed, because Star Trek II was so good. You cared about the Spock character. If WoK was a turd, and they suddenly brought him back for no reason, you could pretend that the bad movie didn’t happen.

    Personally, I hope they ignore every single element that happened in Into Darkness, because that is a bad Star Trek movie.

  • humdiblifier

    Saw A million ways to die in the west last night. I liked it better the first time when it was called Wagons East!

    Wagons East wasn’t great, but at least it had a premise… and jokes. I’m still not sure what the point was.

  • sepiajack

    Yeah me too, although I preferred the later cartoon X-MEN: EVOLUTION, it was a really interesting alternate take on the X-Men concept.

    Regarding the music, it’s unfortunate that this is one of those film series where each of the first 6 films had a different composer and so no consistent themes. John Ottman who did X2 is back for DoFP so it was nice for the first time revisit some familiar music from the other best film (IMHO) in the series with the new one, but it would have been nice to have one composer throughout, if not for the wolverine standalones and First class than at least for the initial trilogy of X1-X3

  • Alex Lee

    I wonder if Jay will post the Sexual Harassment Seminar Tape on here.

    “And remember, no means no.”

  • sepiajack

    Yeah its a fair point, and it is a bit of contrivance, but I’ll take it over not having Fassbender’s magneto in the movie.

    I must admit I did not see the Magneto double-cross coming at all! Which I now feel foolish about considering he double crosses them in ALL the other films. But I just assumed that he would be a hero in this one because of the circumstance, it was a great twist and added a lot to the movie for me!

  • omitted

    I’m sure Jay knows better than to throw bone(r)s to creepy internet stalkers like me

  • Dar

    You’re right he should remember them. He seemd shocked by them in the “Weapon X” limited series.

    I also recall way back in the late 80’s it being stated (I think by the Wolverin series editor at the time) that his claws can cut through his bones because they are solid adamantium not just thin lacing.

  • Memoman

    Absolutely! Fassbender was amazing in this one, he really sold me on being a part of the team just before he went ahead and back-stab them!

    It was a really a good scene too, when he decided that the best plan would be to just kill Mystique right then and there. Because, under the circumstances, maybe he was right! He’s not wrong, he’s just an asshole.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You and TapeWormBike know so much about the wonders of crying. Incredibly sexy.

  • omitted

    A man should always be in touch with his emotions. And his dick. It’s all about the flow of bodily fluids

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Agreed. It lacked that ‘oomph’ that took it from being a really good and solid film to being great. I can’t really explain what was missing.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s not what your father meant when he said ‘keep your eye on the ball’, omitted…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The six pack was there, they just drank it before the show started.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I think it’s through their Facebook page, the RLM Twitter account, and Jack’s Twitter account [as he mentions during the stream, I think… unless that was the Sonic the Hedgehog stream they did].

    Oh, I guess Jack is currently live streaming by himself.

    http://www.twitch.tv/previouslyrecorded_live

    https://www.facebook.com/redlettermedia

    https://twitter.com/redlettermedia

    https://twitter.com/Harlack

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m not sure how I feel agreeing this strongly with a chicken sandwich.

    Where the hell is my brain medicine?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s too funny. I’m glad you brought that up. I love the small of hypocrisy in the morning [it’s morning somewhere].

  • andypants1989

    Young Xaviers psychic powers weren’t working for the first half of the movie due to his paraplegia curing serum, so you can’t really blame him for not being able to figure out Magnetos intentions. Also, they were pretty much on the same team throughout first class, so his naïveté in trusting Magneto was arguably justified. I also got the sense that Magneto was kind of deciding what to do as he went along and sought out his Xavier psychic power blocking helmet when he started to develop his final plan.

  • Memoman

    I meant Old Xavier in the future. There’s a scene where Old Magneto says to Wolverine: “You’ll also need my help” or something to that effect. Xavier should’ve said right then and there: “Woah.. not quite. You were quite the backstabbing A-hole back then. Best not risk that kind of a third act plot twist.”

  • andypants1989

    I found it funnier than Anchorman 2, but then again, even Schindlers List was funnier than Anchorman 2.

  • andypants1989

    OP also seems to have either completely missed or failed to mention that Neeson character is a wife-beating scumbag who has apparently bullied Therons character into marrying him and treats her like a hostage and murdered people for hardly anything. It says a lot about how pathetic he is that he admired them so much.

  • andypants1989

    Seriously, does anyone care about any of that shit? I think it’s actually the most faithful comic book movie, in that this manipulation of continuity has been going on in comic series for years.

  • andypants1989

    He’s also FUCKING HUGE now compared to what he looked like in the first X-men. I think he’s gotten much better as time has gone on. The second Wolverine movie wasn’t terrible. It was actually pretty good compared to some of the crap that’s come out in the last decade or so in this genre. I’d rank it far above the Amazing Spider-Man movies for example.

  • andypants1989

    Don’t know if I’m buying that angle. As Mike and Jay said in the review there was some great visuals and some pretty competent film-making going on in AMWTDW. Transcendence on the other hand was wholly incompetent.

  • omitted

    But that is the way we rehearsed it… Now I’m confused

  • andypants1989

    I’ve heard the Quicksilver complaint before and there’s a pretty obvious explanation. Quicksilver is a little shit who couldn’t care less who some shape-shifter he doesn’t know kills or not. The only reason he agrees to help Wolverine, Xavier and Beast in the first place is for the ego boost of having broken into the most secure building in the country. He’s a criminal at this point, not a hero, a juvenile delinquent and not a member of the x-men. He only helps Magneto escape because he sees the opportunity to steal something from the Pentagon and thinks it’ll be fun. He doesn’t stop the assassination attempt on Trask because there’s nothing to break into and nothing to steal.

  • andypants1989

    I’m willing to let that go. They are manipulating the timeline, so this is largely uncharted territory for both of them, there’s no telling how exactly young Magneto would have reacted, but I can see how it might seem obvious to them both that he’d want to avoid the future they found themselves in.

  • Aaaaaaaah…that was simultaneously wonderful and awful.

    As much as I love seeing people go into Souls games blind, I really wish they had better support to get them more acclimated to the game. That live chat sounded awful. Only truly horrible people would advise them to put any points in Resistance…

    “Remove skeleton”…That’s not even a thing!

  • andypants1989

    Presumably Magneto and Beast are also aware of the events from the 70s in the new future, however only Wolverine remembers the original holocaust future timeline. I assume he’ll get the memories of the new changed timeline aswell eventually.

  • Tyler Morrissey

    Jay do have it wrong, and it’s another point in X-Men’s favour; Mystique isn’t more central to this just because of Jennifer Lawrence. The movie is so much about the division between the Prof and Magneto, and she was a battleground in the last one, with both of them competing for her soul. It makes perfect sense for Mystique to be a focal point in this one.

    EDIT: Aand then Mike kinda said that. Fine. I was right. Go me.

  • Alex Lee

    They also look way more like LGBT supporters, which fits the new theme of “mutant rights.”

  • Alex Lee

    Why not? It’s easier than writing stories with jokes in them. Family Guy isn’t about hard work or creativity, after all
    .

  • Alex Lee

    Peter Mayhew: “Sabretooth, I am…your father!”

  • KaZa MaHa

    I’m just gonna put this out there but X-Men: Days of Future Past time travel sounds like Steins;Gate time travel.

  • Alex Lee

    And storytelling in general.

  • Alex Lee

    I haven’t seen Golden Retriever man in quite a while.

  • JackgarPrime

    Well if it’s good I’ll check it out. Although if I want tits, there are better ways to find them.

  • Derpship Down

    I was using the tonal language from the film, only I tamed it down quite a bit. Still, offence has been given, and I demand you meet me at high noon.

    I’m not American, nor a hairy gun nut. But those types of people were the target villains in this flick and their demises went straight to ass humour. Canada also had a hairy man gun toting Western frontier that wasn’t nearly as violent.

    The movie was terrible, little wonder I started seeing some social commentary… there was nothing else to explain it.

  • Derpship Down

    Actually I found the bad guys foul character traits jammed in and rushed, they were thin and had absolutely no redeeming qualities. I made mention of it, but you skipped through and read what you wanted.

    If we’re going to nitpick through a discussion of a terrible movie lets at least get it right. She wanted to marry him at nine because she didn’t want to become one of those 15 year old spinnsters. Pay attention, or people will think you’re projecting.

    The random violence was shoved in because if it hadn’t been, then the protagonist wouldn’t have looked like a hero, just a coward.

  • Baron Teapot

    I agree with everything you said. Haven’t seen the movie, but Jay is gorgeous.

  • Thanatos2k

    Elevate the keyboard above your crotch. Usually works. How do you get goo ON the keyboard?

  • Thanatos2k

    I don’t think they actually needed Magneto. I think future Magneto was just being a secret asshole when he told Wolverine he “had” to get him to help, knowing his past self would just try to fuck everything up. Magneto never really made up with Xavier, it was all a trick!

  • Thanatos2k
  • Thanatos2k

    I’ll raise your mind fuck.

    It was actually Mystique playing Picard all along.

  • Derpship Down

    A movie can be good, but you have no desire to ever see it again for whatever reason. Aside from the Quicksilver scene, the new X-Men falls under that category for me. Maybe what is needed is more short stand alone scenes like that (Game of Thrones comes to mind in that regard, or LOTR)

  • Thanatos2k

    Thing is, referencing a past joke is completely valid humor, one that RLM is pretty much built upon.

    When Macfarlane does it though, he often draws it out, sometimes to a painfully long degree. That is completely the opposite of what you should be doing with a referential joke – it should be extremely quick. Like shouting out “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FACEEEEEEEEE?” – it has to be quick, and then immediately proceed on to something else while the audience snickers.

    You do not repeat it 15 times in a row, with a longer faceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee every time you say it. This is NOT FUNNY and someone needs to pound it into Macfarlane’s thick skull that this terrible style of humor is destroying his works.

  • Alex

    Well, I hate to pop that bubble, but this is a german song and the performers are all Germans, that they all look like Superman villains from the Donner movies, is pure coincidence though.

    Ah the 70’s when popbands used to have a conductor, orchestra, class and shit.

  • Alex

    well, maybe SUPER is what you’re looking for. Not that I think it’s a great movie, but it’s a fuckin’ weird one (almost like a John Waters flick)

  • Mr Bighead

    Psychological Projection: ” the act or technique of defending oneself against unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in oneself, while attributing them to others.”

    You just love accusing other people of projecting don’t you DD.

  • Mr Bighead

    Yeah it’s funny, you think people are sticking up for you, then your scroll through their other posts and decide you can do without their help.

  • Hieronymus Friedrich von Münch

    the half in the bag music is some free music you get with one of the editing programs, one of the apple one i think.

  • Hieronymus Friedrich von Münch

    that’s a pretty ballsy level of plagiarism there. boney m should sue.

  • whip

    They also say that in the review too 🙂

  • Derpship Down

    This is irony right? I don’t always recognize it, but today I do.

  • Mr Bighead

    Bang on.

  • sepiajack

    Yeah, that’s why Magneto is one of my all time favorite fictional characters, he’s the ‘villain’ but everything he does has a motivation and often the best intentions, his greatest flaw is his hubris, but he always believes that everything he does is for the best.

  • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

    Hey look, I said no offense. How can you be offended if I said no offense?

    Seriously though, why do you think the characterisation of the good guys as cowards who don’t like violence (not actually a personality flaw, by the way) is valid – and therefore objectionable – but that the portrayal of the bad guys as violent and spousal abusers is somehow not valid and therefore does not redeem the cowardly hero?

    But here’s the thing: those old timey manly men of violence who thrived in an enviromnent made tough by their sociopathy in the first place? Yeah, they were wife beaters. Those heroic gunslingers of the old west? Yeah, they killed people for reasons that didn’t really warrant them. The movie isn’t being harsh

    This is a shit movie, but not for picking the non-violent values of a pussy who doesn’t beat women over the values of a macho asshole who does, you know?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Don’t ask me, ask Omitted. My goo problem is dog slobber because our boxer is transfixed by Mike and Rich’s voices.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s based off a book that all the women loved in the early 2000s, but it’s a great movie in so many ways beyond just the story.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Hopefully they’ll improve the sound, maybe have a webcam so we can see them, because I don’t care as much for what they do in-game. Although Mike coming into the room at one point to ask for his flesh light back from Rich was pretty priceless.

  • Charon

    Spring Break 2012 – Never Forget

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    I think the point of getting Magneto was that young Magneto would know how to find Mystique? No wait, old Magneto should have had an idea that he didn’t know where she was.

    Maybe it was so that they could show Mystique that both of them were together on this and that she should take them seriously?

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    I think it’s just a nice nod towards time travel plots. There was a good number of Terminator references, but the one line from TV-Kirk was from a time travel episode.

    So really, in a way, it’s kind of a small homage to famous time travel plots and maybe a subtle hint that they know how these time travel movies usually go.

    And maybe why this one turned out so well.

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    I was surprised when I saw “The Wolverine” and it made clear reference to the events of X3. I was expecting the studio to just ignore completely the movie that everyone hates (even though it made the most money of all the X-Men films until now).

    But it’s good that they’ve gotten around to basically retconning that out of the movie franchise.

  • Junkie

    I genuinely read that as “the Diane Kruger effect” and was expecting an article about actors who have played characters of a specific nationality for so long, the general public just assumes they are really that nationality.

  • Memoman

    “Mystique that both of them were together on this and that she should take them seriously?”

    That makes more sense. Although if that was the case then it would have been better to show more than a few seconds before she tried to shoot Trask. You know, to not rush the heavy moral /ethical conversation/explanation.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the spiritual prequel to Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers.

  • Christopher Kulik

    I’ve been writing for my county newspaper for over a year now. In an article entitled “Pathetic Comedies,” I included reviews of “Anchorman 2: The Paycheck Continues,” “Grudge Match: Rocky Balboa vs. Raging Bull,” “Ride Along with Stereotypes,” and “The Secret Mid-Life Crisis of Ben Stiller.”

  • Max Wylde

    Seth MacFarlane’s a hack, and that’s how he makes his money.

    He does base most of his comedy either on pop culture references or very old jokes that would’ve been relevant when they came out. For instance, in Family Guy, which should’ve stayed canceled, they redid a Bounty commercial joke where this old maid touts how Bounty is so absorbent, but Peter is in it and he wants her to clean up this warm yellow liquid he has (his pee). That would’ve been funny back when those Bounty commercials were on, but it’s so out of date that Peter has to command her to “clean my pee” in order to get a laugh. Family Guy is mostly comprised of stuff like this.

    For the same reasons I don’t bother with either his spinoffs, his films, or his other projects. I did initially watch his new Cosmos film, but it’s so filled with errors and insults to intelligence that I stopped with the first episode.

  • Christopher Kulik

    Well said…..fred 🙂

  • SkaMP

    I very much hope you guys did that take with the beach-ball more than once, destroying many more Grown Ups beach-balls 😛

  • My ex wife

    omitted’s conspiracy to sap and impurify all of Jays precious bodily fluids.

  • My ex wife

    Hello?… hello… hello… Echo… echo… echo… Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon… Manny Mota… Mota… Mota…

  • My ex wife
  • My ex wife

    A vagina? truly a weapon of supreme power.

  • omitted

    Slurp!

  • Jean-François Martel

    And more often than not, when American uses references it either serves the characters or will be useful either in the plot or it might come back for a really satisfying punchline.

    And patrick stewart is always fucking gold on that show. People don’t know what they’re missing.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i have not seen it, but i have seen a very important part of it.

  • Jean-François Martel

    Yeah, i agree about Hoult and Ashmore (and Lucas Till)… For the Ashmore guy it’s especially because there’s two of them.

  • Jean-François Martel

    you mean X-cited

  • Sean Gall

    Cant wait to see what they thought of Edge Of Tomorrow, Hollywood actually delivered a mostly fresh, cliche free movie with that one. Sad it didnt do well, itll be a sleeper though, word of mouth will spread.

  • Sean Gall

    Oh man, the “recently accused” diversion joke was hilarious.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He can’t shave now, either, of else his weird suntan would show from being on that beach for so long.

  • ChickenSandwich

    My parents are dead.

    I shall now dress as a bat.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I assume you mean the Cosmos show. I still haven’t checked it out yet, but your short take on it worries me.

  • Wilson Chambers

    Are there any big-studio superhero movies made over the last dozen years that don’t have that same chugging, overfull, featureless orchestral score? It’s like the music that used to be reserved for trailers is just laid onto the entire film.

    Maybe it’s my age, but I miss Danny Elfman.

  • omitted

    Shawn had a very Jay-like beard in this one. Loved it. His brother Aaron played a great gay character in gone-too-soon Warehouse 13

  • Jean-François Martel

    YEEES! I LOVE JINX!

  • Cobresol

    Was just about to mention this.
    EoT was a pretty great ‘summer action’ movie (at least a 7/10, which, by today’s standards, is ‘great’). Cheesy/cliché a few times (mostly near the end), but still really enjoyable.
    It feels like the type of movie that would be ‘divisive’ for the HitB duo. One of Jay or Mike (or Rich Evans) would be indifferent about it and I can’t figure out which one.

  • Mike Jakermen

    Well i Miss John William too. His Superman theme was awesome.

  • sepiajack

    I don’t agree.

  • sepiajack

    And yes the Trek continuity errors are just as bad. Here’s a really obvious one, the interior of the bird of prey completely changes design between Trek III and Trek IV. That’s just one of countless such mismatches. And it doesn’t matter at all.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I had a post about that earlier in these comments, although slightly different than your own. Mine was more about the lack of memorable scores. A lot of the stuff I hear now seems rather generic. I can still vividly recall the Spider-Man theme by Elfman, but I have trouble remembering more than a few beats from the main theme for the recent The Amazing Spider-Man 2 film.

  • Mister_Misinformed

    I forgot, this isn’t the RLM comment thread, it’s the MTN comment thread. If you’re going to post anything here, folks, ya gotta prepared to get a witless comeback from the greasy haired drifter who lives here 24/7, ’cause this thread is essentially an ego stroking circle jerk between him and the three or four other self-satisfied dolts who have nowhere else to go. Mercy me!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I guess I’ve gotta get new shampoo for my greasy hair [or, you know, shower more than once a week].

    http://i.lvme.me/743pv7l.jpg

  • Thom Stone

    a million ways to NOT be funny

  • Disappearing bottle necks!

  • Mark Bisone

    A quick peek through this deuce stain’s comments proves it; it’s all hatred and whiny malice, shrieked into the cyber-void in an attempt to mask his pathetic, petite-bourgeois version of existential misery.

    I’d suggest he try yoga, but this sick little bitch would probably call Downward Dog a “microaggression.”

  • Akeuw

    The should make a comedy about the Wisconsin death trip. It would be relevent to Half in the Bag, because they live in that shit hole.

  • Akeuw

    Sarah Silverman is not funny at all. She completely lacks comedic timing and most of her jokes fall short. I almost feel pity for her.

  • Mister_Misinformed

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/7pKk54T.jpg[/img]

  • Alex Lee

    Maybe it has to do with the frantic pacing of action movies, where the music has to be fast and repetitive in order to keep the scene’s energy. Older action movies used to take their time to set stuff up before the explosions. New movies want to get right into the action and it sometimes nauseates me.

    Or maybe it has to do with the composers not knowing enough about the themes of the movie or characters. Leitmotifs only work when the composer is working with a strong, concise character (i.e. any character that passes the Plinkett character test).

  • andypants1989

    Cool, link?

  • Pulp

    “He Just Goes Too Fast and Falls Asleep”

    According to Monroe that’s the only superpower Kennedy had.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    why would you pity a filthy rich hack?

  • Jeremy Davis

    “Edge of Tomorrow” should have been called “Groundhog Day with Guns”.

  • Jeremy Davis

    Do not let his opinion sway you… I find Cosmos to be a most illuminating and entertaining program.

  • Jeremy Davis

    heyyyyyy, batta batta batta! Saaaawing!

  • Jeremy Davis

    Does anyone remember this X-Men/Star Trek:TNG crossover book? How awkward it must have been on the bridge for Picard and Xavier…

  • Derpship Down

    I was just disappointed. From you two I expected witty sheep related comedy in which I could partake, if not simply sit back and applaud. Something worthy of my own upvoting. I held you to a higher standard and you let me down son, you let me down.

    On the other hand, I do have some material that needs proper editing. You see there is this true story about sheep I have.

    Have you ever tried actually counting sheep?
    Upon the suggestion from my mother I once tried counting them to assist in the lulling of my young self to sleep. It didn’t work out. You see, my imagination ran amok, and what young mind wouldn’t? Counting sheep is terribly boring.

    It started fine and was going well. I imagined the fence as an unpainted long board type found on any standard farm. The picture was coming in clear. 1… 2… 3… I counted as each fluffball took a little running start to be able to leap and clear the fence. Then of course, as must happen in any story worth telling, things took a turn for the worse.

    One snagged the fence, failed to recover and did a full on faceplant on the other side. It was a hard and unexpected landing, so unexpected in fact that it never occurred to the sheep next in line that a fellow wouldn’t clear and stick his landing that he proceeded without restraint. Though this one jumped high and mighty, he found his own descent marred with the flailing and injured body of his pal.

    Before long there was a pile of sheep. Given the painful and chaotic bleating coming from one side there was confusion on the other on weather or not it was still safe to go. Sheep were gathering on both sides, some were looking out directly at me, of those, many seemed to beg advice as if to say, “this has never happened before… what am I suppose to be doing?” Others seems to just shake their heads and sigh. I imagined their disapproval, “what the hell buddy??” and the words were spoken. It was ridiculous. Worst of all I had lost count.

    My mother returned to my room only minutes after giving her sage advice to find me wide awake and laughing my ass off.

    This is an quick written excerpt from a longer piece of work.

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    It’s possible that it was cut. Anna Paquin gets a big name in the credits despite that she has no lines in the actual movie, I think because she had scenes which were cut.

    Of course, in a way, that credit sequence with all the big names was probably, again, harking back to the fact that we love first two X-Men movies.

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    They certainly can’t try Mike’s “Adam Sandler movie” method, which has continued not to succeed for him.

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    James McAvoy provides great performances in general. I remember him way back in the “Children of Dune” miniseries where he really stood out in terms of quality performance.

  • zm

    not entirely true. sometimes you can recognize a right answer, but you can’t produce it yourself.

  • Booger

    He posts with no sense of irony after complaining about jokes being too similar.

  • oiBane

    ‘Charles Theron’ ROFL

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I get this reference now after finally watching the Cop Dog review.

    That warm, fuzzy feeling inside is priceless.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    NEW SEASON OF THE DUDE BROS CONFIRMED!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Seems you edited your original comment. I actually enjoyed it.

    “I was just disappointed. From you two I expected witty sheep related comedy in which I could partake, if not simply sit back and applaud. Something worthy of my own upvoting. I held you to a higher standard and you let me down son, you let me down.

    On the other hand, I do have some material that needs proper editing. You see there is this true story about sheep I have.

    Have you ever tried actually counting sheep?

    Upon the suggestion from my mother I once tried counting them to assist in the lulling of my young self to sleep. It didn’t work out. You see, my imagination ran amok, and what young mind wouldn’t? Counting sheep is terribly boring.

    It started fine and was going well. I imagined the fence as an unpainted long board type found on any standard farm. The picture was coming in clear. 1… 2… 3… I counted as each fluffball took a little running start to be able to leap and clear the fence. Then of course, as must happen in any story worth telling, things took a turn for the worse.

    One snagged the fence, failed to recover and did a full on faceplant on the other side. It was a hard and unexpected landing, so unexpected in fact that it never occurred to the sheep next in line that a fellow wouldn’t clear and stick his landing that he proceeded without restraint. Though this one jumped high and mighty, he found his own descent marred with the flailing and injured body of his pal.

    Before long there was a pile of sheep. Given the painful and chaotic bleating coming from one side there was confusion on the other on weather or not it was still safe to go. Sheep were gathering on both sides, some were looking out directly at me, of those, many seemed to beg advice as if to say , “this has never happened before… what am I suppose to be doing?” Others seems to just shake their heads and sigh. I imagined their disapproval, “what the hell buddy??” and the words were spoken. It was ridiculous. Worst of all I had lost count.

    My mother returned to my room only minutes after giving her sage advice to find me wide awake and laughing my ass off.

    This is an quick written excerpt from a longer piece of work.”

  • Robotpals

    Do you suppose that’s why he doesn’t believe in God, because he missed his flight and was spared, allowing him to further his career? Actually, that’s a pretty good point.

  • nat

    “spring break 2012” …?

  • Yes…. in June.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Motherfuckers!

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Because that’s what Ayn Rand tells me to do?

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Sounds like Seth MacFarlane has the same superpower.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Ben Stiller’s Mid-Life crisis is his entire career.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s a tiny reason why I like the Nolan Batman series: a very consistent score.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s cheaper than therapy.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    They should have combined Seth McFarlane and Ewan McGregor to make Ewan McGregor.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Didn’t you have a beat-down with him, before? I don’t remember what it was exactly that started the argument, but it was quite funny.

  • Christopher Kulik

    There are a couple of my articles online, but they haven’t put all of them up yet. However, here are the 2 that are available: http://www.inyoregister.com/node/5727 and http://www.inyoregister.com/node/5825.

  • Mark Bisone

    Possibly. I am normally full of love and butterscotch sundaes. But every now and then I gotta curb stomp a triflin’ mofo.

  • Alex Lee

    Because he would rather be on top of the filthy-speaking rich lady.

    Hmmm, Sarah Silverman should seriously consider becoming a phone-sex operator. It pays really well for next to no labor.

  • My ex wife

    Elfman was good but come on, now we have Hans ZimBBBBAAAAWWWWWWW!!!!!!

  • My ex wife

    Older action movies used to take their time to set stuff up before the explosions. New movies want to get right into the action…

    Porn went the same way, i guess it’s progress

  • whip
  • whip

    I’ve always felt this way about her. I don’t know why anyone finds her remotely funny or interesting. My guess is it’s just because she is raunchy. That can appeal to those who are still sexually immature.

    She is also a terrible actor. Anything she’s ever been in, I found myself groaning and facepalming.

  • whip

    I agree. Seth just produces it or whatever. The show itself is a modern reboot of the classic Carl Sagan Cosmos series, and is very well done. It may be a bit simple for people who already have a basic understanding of science and the universe. But it’s at a perfect level to explain things to more average level, uninformed masses.

  • whip

    Wisconsin is no shit hole.

    Detroit is a shit hole.

    Wisconsin is a classy town. We may not be a huge population. We may not be all hip and cool as those on the coasts. We may not be rich.

    But there are lots of good, honest, down to earth people here. Friendly. Kind. Generous. Open minded.

    There are interesting venues and arts here. There is interesting history here.

    It’s no shit hole.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    That was probably the single most condescending way you could have phrased that, but whatever.

  • Thanatos2k

    “Wisconsin is a classy town.”

    Uhhh?

  • Thanatos2k

    You fucked it up! It’s friend, not pal, buddy!

  • leeory jenkins

    only if xmen has a little girl being shot in the head.

  • UnShame

    Wow, I am really surprised you guys liked the new X-Men movie.

    This was the first X-Men movie I’ve seen, and I thought it was completely pointless and was made just to erase everything that has happened in previous movies of the series so they can make new ones.

    Sure, that scene with Quicksilver was great, but that’s pretty much it.

    I guess you kind of have to have low standards these days, otherwise it’s pointless to even go to movie theaters.

  • omitted

    Just rewatched the Half in the Bag Resident Evil episodes and felt compelled to post this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGOtPBka3J8

  • imaginaryGHOST

    she wasn’t bad in wreck it ralph. though maybe not seeing her had something to do with it.

  • imaginaryGHOST

    lol yes it is.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    “This was the first X-Men movie I’ve seen”
    Well… I suppose some of the problems come from that?
    “Yeah, Revenge of the Jedi is overrated. It was the first Star Wars movie I’ve ever seen and it was just about some annoying, whiney asshole with father issues.”

  • Alex Lee

    It’s the “Milwalkee” joke, but I agree on the reality; Detroit is a…well…it needs Delta City now.

  • Alex Lee

    It’s also involves less torture.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eP4INdt_-fk

  • Morris

    Return*

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You must be proud of this GIF.

  • Alex Lee

    “But Lucas discovered that printing with one less letter would save him nearly a thousand dollars in his ink fund.”

    Harry S. Plinkett

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I REFUSE to edit my comment for this very reason.
    Lucas was very economical with his ink-money.

  • Strelnikov

    A Million Ways to Kill Your Career in Hollywood.

  • Strelnikov

    “My guess is it’s just because she is raunchy.”

    That’s her “joke”, and it was a lot “funnier” ages ago before we had scads of raunchy-talking pretty comediennes.

  • Strelnikov

    Wax on, wax off.

  • sepiajack

    It shouldn’t really be that much of a surprise, this movie is a hit with audiences, has glowing review from critics, and has been loved by a vast majority of people.

    There mere fact that no one on here was begging “I hope they review X-Men soon!!!!” the way all us RLMer would normally do should speak volumes about how well received this movie is. If its not your cup of tea, that’s fine. But why bother going to see the 7 entry in a film franchise if the first 6 didn’t interest you?

  • sepiajack

    All the time travel in SPACECOP is done with practical effects, so sometimes the guys end up slipping back a few years in the process. but that’s the price of using real time travel instead of CGI timetravel

  • sepiajack

    It was the opposite for me, without the pleasing visual and just her annoying voice once I realized her character wasn’t a cameo and indeed the plot! I turned that movie off.

  • sepiajack

    I’m a fan of movie scores in general, and tend to agree with you overall. Although I do like the Zimmer batman scores, and actually found his MoS music to be the only redeeming thing about that movie. But that said most scores are pretty forgettable these days.

    I always thought the guy who scored Star Trek 6 should have gotten more work, that is a great score and filled with nuance and atmosphere and a big part of why that film worked so well,

  • sepiajack

    I agree, however to be fair when the raimi spiderman first came out a lot of people accused it of having a forgettable bland score.

    I think it grew on people over the years though, I know it did for me. I love the main spidey theme, and hearing the return of the Goblin theme at the end of 2 when Harry finds his father’s secret room did exactly what a returning theme should do…

  • sepiajack

    Agreed.

    I’m also not going to fault Fox/Singer/Donner company for making the most of Lawrence while they have her on contract. They signed her to 3 movies when she was still basically an unknown, probably at a fraction of her current asking price. Now with this one they have a multiple oscar caliber actress who is arguably the most famous movie star in the world right now, and they’re probably paying her peanuts and getting her to wear blue paint and bounce around naked in their movie.

    There is ZERO chance she would be suiting up as mystique for this movie or Apocalypse in 2016 if they didn’t have her bound to that original 3 movie deal.

  • sepiajack

    I definitely file all the Darren Aronofsky films under this category but that’s because I always feel icky after them, yet they ARE great films.

    I get what you mean about DoFP, I thought it was amazing, but X2 I rushed out and saw a 2nd time the same weekend where as I still haven’t rushed out to see this again. I think maybe its because its such a complete ending, feels like a series finale, its satisfying and doesn’t leave you wanting more, but at the same time that makes it less prone to repeat viewings maybe? Not sure.

    The last time I can think of seeing a movie where when I walked out of the theater I was tempted to go get in line and watch it again was The Dark Knight.

  • Jerry Jackson

    The tops of the beer bottles are levitating. Awesome!

    Also, XMen: DOFP sucked.

  • ForwardEarth

    Don’t use quotation marks if you’re not going to get the quote right.

  • Ses

    well its probably feels fresh since source material is a japanease light novel. They have great stories and Hollywood will posibble adept more on that after the good reviews of EoT.

  • omitted

    I saw DoFP a second time day after the premiere (mainly because I had reserved tickets for two screenings) hoping to capture that ‘fuck yeah’ feeling I expected to get from this movie based on the trailers. That feeling never came, although I can’t really pinpoint the reason why not because all of the requirements basically were there

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You’re referencing things I know! 😀

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    If only the movie could have lived up to Zimmer’s score, just like if only Tron: Legacy had lived up to Daft Punk’s score.

    *Double sigh.*

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Then Spider-Man 3 happened.

    Oh…

  • fred

    You can always tell if the actors are sincere by what they say about the movie; “It’s got action and explosions…and a romance…and stuff! Go see it kids!”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I never knew that. It grew on you, like a tumour?… I was rather young when Spider-Man came out but I remember the theme rather vividly. I can recall it whenever I want and I enjoy it. It’s like being able to recall the various Star Wars themes, the Superman theme, The Indiana Jones theme, etc. [all those are more memorable than the Spider-Man theme, I’d argue].

    I liked the returning theme for X-Men: Days of Future Pants from X2. “Oh yeah, this song.” Were variations of it anywhere else in the film? It’s a decent theme.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You’re a very beautiful Moses.

  • omitted

    Wanx?

  • Meester Smeeth

    When is the next Rich Evans Watches The Dumb And Dumber To Trailer And Says Absolutely Nothing?

  • imaginaryGHOST

    That’s a shame. She’s great in it, and the movie itself is awesome. You’re missing out.

    I thought the same when I was watching, but her character grew on me and made the flick better.

  • Pebkio Nomare

    Actually, that’s too bad… I was thinking I might like A Million Ways to Poop in the West. Sure I rolled my eyes at the stupid Back to the Future thing in the trailer, but no comedy, especially modern comedies, get everything right. I would’ve been happy with the movie getting 50% right to be honest.

    But now I don’t think I’m going to go see it…

  • LelouchtheFilial

    “Don’t use those weird double-apostrophes if you’re not going to use the EXACT words of a throwaway joke.”
    -ForwardAfterBirth

  • I have now redeemed myself by watching Day of Future Pants in the theatre, and also permanently purging A Million Ways to Die in the West from my memory through an extremely painful process.

    And let me tell you, this movie is fucking great. The characters, the action, the celebration of comic book villainy and heroism alike, the clash of ideals – it’s just great.

  • omgnoway

    thanks for all the Million ways to die in the west spoilers.. dicks.

  • But how much of this is related to IQ and how much of it is that most American’s are rock-fuck ignorant about most subjects? There are a lot of polls that show Americans are stunningly lacking in knowledge about geography, science and general knowledge about how the world works.

  • echto

    Ever since I watched this when it was uploaded I have had that intro song in my head. Thanks guys…

  • Thanatos2k

    She was on Saturday Night Live. Literally that’s the only reason people care about her I think.

    Thing is, there hasn’t been someone of worth to come from SNL in over a decade. Even the Mad TV people were better than this.

  • Thanatos2k

    She’s not bad as a voice actress. (Coincidentally, Macfarlane is the same way….)

    Also when she’s a voice actress, she’s not making her own comedy. If you let her……

  • Sean Gall

    Proof that you didnt see it, you just ripped a joke from someone else.

  • Alex Lee

    Yikes. at least Mad TV knew when to call it quits…eventually. SNL is probably like The Simpsons, where they can’t really cancel it because it would have such an adverse effect on the stocks.

    “Oh, they’re cancelling SNL? Sell! Sell!”

    Some guy.

  • Alex Lee

    I would say Jay because he prefers horror over Sci-fi.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    No way! I RECOGNIZE that comment!
    “Let’s wax it on…”

  • Patrick

    Oh sure. Charlize Theron and Liam Neeson probably just wanted to branch out into goofy, vulgar comedy, just like actors are drawn to superhero movies, regardless of how talented the writers/directors are.

  • bb-15

    I saw ‘Days of Future Past’ because of the RLM review. It was pretty good, slightly better than some of the original trilogy imo.
    – An all around fun episode.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Don’t use quotation marks if you’re not going to get the quote right.”

    -ForwardEarth

  • sepiajack

    Well for Neeson for sure, as illustrated here:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKTh7zBIcrM

  • Dar

    About old photos and people not smiling, it wasn’t just the time it took, it was also cultural and had to do with smiling being seen as silly or vulgar:

    http://publicdomainreview.org/2013/09/18/the-serious-and-the-smirk-the-smile-in-portraiture/

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Love the Terra reveal.

  • Mark Bisone

    When looking for inside jokes in art, I think it’s really all about the breadth and depth of your context in any particular subject, rather than a general awareness. Obviously the more subjects you’re familiar with, the more likely you are to “get the joke”, but even if you don’t get a certain subtle contextual joke it doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy the art anyway. Unlike the “Reference Movie” nonsense, the references aren’t the point of the art; they are more like special treats for the attentive viewer that add another layer of richness to the storytelling.

    For instance, the computer in “War Games” was named “Joshua”. You could watch the film and think “Oh, okay, that’s just the name of the scientist’s dead son”, and enjoy the story without getting the dark joke. But if you’re familiar with the Joshua of the Old Testament, the name becomes more ironic and meaningful within the story’s context. First there’s the surface-level gag, Joshua being the warrior-spy who led the Israelites on the conquest of Canaan after the death of Moses. But scratch a little deeper and you get the story of Joshua’s failed attempt to recapture the city of “Ai” (get it?), which resulted in his burning it to the ground instead. This scorched earth fatalism – destroying the very thing you are meant to save – forms almost the whole of the computer’s arc in War Games, until it becomes convinced via reason that this an illogical course of action.

    The computer’s name is a subtle, multilayered gag, but it’s no big deal if you missed it. Picking up on references like that doesn’t change the film’s story, but it makes it feel richer and more connected to the world. And sometimes knowledge of a given subject might even spoil the enjoyment for an insider (i.e. the particle physicist who winces at nearly every science error in a movie, such that it takes him out of the story).

  • War_Machine

    The amount of Rich Evans in this episode was unsatisfactory. Thumbs down, unsubscribed.

  • Ding Dong

    Proof HITB is staged and FAKE.

    also I was totally at spring Brake 2012 and they totally weren’t there. FAKE.

  • Jay Stein

    you noticed the keying on the bottles as well…

  • Jay Stein

    I love the keying error. Its what I watched most in this episode

  • Jay Stein

    I simply cannot watch the new Cosmos, because Carl Sagan was awesome. I hate Seth MacFarlane with a passion. I wouldnt mind Charlize Theron juggling my balls though…Oh wait shes married to Sean Penn, never mind. It’s obvious she as a thing for DBs

  • Jerry Jackson

    I couldn’t look away!

  • strumstrum

    Composers like Zimmer basically come up with a score without any knowledge of the movie whatsoever (or at most with passing knowledge) and leave it up to the editors to pick and choose which bits of the songs to put wherever in the film they’ll go.

  • heylook

    You guys give Ted WAY too much credit. The entire plot ends up hinging on ’80s references (the whole Flash Gordon nonsense), and the 3rd act turns into a REALLY BAD thriller…b/c McFarlane ran out of jokes and nobody else read the script apparently.

    Keep in mind, the first 2 (or is it 3?) seasons of Family Guy are filled w/misogyny, mean-spiritedness, and pointless ’80s references, and it wasn’t until Fox assigned a new showrunner to the series that it actually became a show which had good voice work, intelligent stories, and real societal commentary. There’s still far too much misogyny in the series for my taste, but at least it’s usually surrounded by something clever.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Ya, I want to watch Art in non-motion.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    He got his geography lessons from Dan Quayle.

  • Meester Smeeth

    “Rich, your wife’s home… and your house is on fire…”
    “MY WIFE IS HOME??!” – Be cool about fiiiire safety!

    I should write for Seth McFarlane.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    “purging A Million Ways to Die in the West from my memory through an extremely painful process.:”

    It’s called BLEACH.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    “7th entry in a film franchise”

    Oh, you mean the Wolverines movies.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    I’m proud of all my GIFs. Girlfriends I Fuck. Get it?

  • Sparkylicious

    Chin up lads, you have terrible movies and your whiny demanding fanbase!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Ya. Alright. Ya. Alright.

    /outdated hip hop dance moves.

  • Alex Lee

    That explains quite a bit.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    They probably noticed the green label when shooting of once they started editing and, know them, probably said “Fuck it”. Haha. It was funny.

  • Alex Lee

    Yeah, I like The Undiscovered Country‘s soundtrack. It had that ominous, atmospheric quality to it that really furthered the dark undertones of that movie.

    Modern composers (at least in the US) seem to work with stock emotions as the inspiration for their songs. “Oh, this is supposed to be a sad song.” “Oh, this needs to be an action song.” I think that’s the reason why we end up with the cases of the generic soundtrack.

    Although, I will point out the positive that at least they’re not BAD soundtracks, which I guess is the most we can realistically ask. Just forgettable.

  • Steve Smith

    And remember my friend, future pants such as these will affect you in the future.

  • Stephen Norman

    I didn’t even know she was on SNL until reading this comment. I remember her from Mr. Show. She was an acceptable-if-not-hilarious addition to the Greg the Bunny cast. Her book is funny. Her show wasn’t terrible; put it in the same category of humor (if not quality) as quirky, offbeat shows like Strangers With Candy. I agree she can be kind of a one trick pony sometimes, but in no way do I see her as unwatchable. I’m kind of shocked to see so much hate for her. She’s not brilliant, but she’s definitely not bottom of the barrel. She keeps interesting company and has chosen interesting projects for the most part.

  • Thanatos2k

    Sarah Silverman is the worst part of the Sarah Silverman Show. All the other characters were far superior, especially the gay guys. Her “oh I’m random and stupid” schtick got old real fast.

  • Thanatos2k

    Shut up Meg.

    Wait-

  • Stephen Norman

    I agree, but it was still a funny, good-ish show. That’s what I’m saying. I’m trying to respond to “I don’t know why anyone finds her remotely funny or interesting.” which I think is just a tad hyperbolic. Even if she’s the least funny person in the crowd she runs with, it’s still a funny, interesting crowd. She’s linked to funny, interesting people and funny, interesting projects.

  • Meester Smeeth
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Hey everyone, look! They’re releasing Non-medy: The Movie!

    http://youtu.be/qFuzMlfZGWM

  • Meester Smeeth

    Hmm, looks a bit naff… However, I’m more than willing to give Paul King the benefit of the doubt. You never know, it may surprise…

  • IsolateMutate

    In First Class, she’s like 10 years old and turns into Xavier’s mom. It’s a comic book movie, who cares.

  • IsolateMutate

    X-Men was a winner. Easy to follow story, good characters and action, and most important of all (SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS), they unfucked X3. That’s all I could’ve ever asked for.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    So, because they did it before and it was dumb, it’s okay that they do it again? Listen, I liked both First Class and Days of Future Past, but sometimes they go a bit too far and your suspension of disbelief gets pushed and sometimes broken.

    I thought that scene was well done except for the idea that she could turn into Peter Dinklage. Saying it’s a ‘comic book’ movie shouldn’t mean we have to put up with crap.

  • Meester Smeeth

    Family Guy is still pretty mean spirited. I watched one the other day and there was an awful “joke” centered around the fact that Michael J. Fox has Parkinson’s disease that seemed to go on for 5 minutes… because, you know, hur hur hur… and you just think why?
    Another thing that shows just how fucking lazy this guy and his colleagues are, there’s an episode where they play an entire music video (David Bowie & Mick Jagger’s Dancing In The Street)… THAT’S THE JOKE! There’s an episode where there’s an entire Conway Twitty performance… THAT’S THE JOKE!

  • Alex Lee

    Yikes, they’ve actually sunk that low? Man, I want to blame Fox for this, but it’s really the dumb, popcorn-eating cows that insist on watching Family Guy.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I remember watching the first three seasons of Family Guy on DVD when I was in my early teens. I thought they were hilarious. As the seasons went on, I felt they lost something.

    Now I’m wondering if the first three seasons were actually good or if I was just easily amused in my early teens.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Well, to be fair, Star Trek Into Darkness was all those things as well and we all know how they felt about that film [their Half in the Bag review and the ‘Star Trek Into Reference’ Plinkett review].
    If you look at Rotten Tomatoes, STID on average has slightly lower Tomatometer scores than DoFP across the board:

    Critics: 87% vs 91%
    Top Critics: 80% vs 95%
    Audience: 90% vs 94%

    However, if you look at the average ratings, it’s a closer race:

    Critics: 7.6/10 for both
    Top Critics: 7.7/10 for both
    Audience: 4.3/5 vs 4.4/5

    I actually didn’t mind STID, but yet again I’m not a Star Trek fan nor do I know much about the previous TV shows or movies. What bothered me was how dumb the film was, with the ‘cold fusion’ bomb to freeze the volcano, how they hid the Enterprise underwater, the lame reveal of Khan [oh wow, his name is different from before, how dramatic for the characters in the film], the Tribble blood death cure, the decision to make the Enterprise poop out little Smurf turds, etc.

    I was slightly more lax with the first film and its bullcrap science, but this became a bit too much with some weird convoluted plot that kept me from getting too invest in the story, which made that other stuff more noticeable.

    http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/star_trek_into_darkness/

    http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/x_men_days_of_future_past/

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Ehhh… do you have any proof of this? I feel you’re exaggerating a bit.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Read them. Nice. 🙂

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I, too, blame Michael J. Fox.

    Oh, you were talking about… oh…

  • Alex Lee

    I would argue that some early episodes were genuinely good, largely because I can remember the plots to some of them. Like the Willy Wonka parody. It firs starts off as a parody of that movie in the first part (and a great parody of the Oompa-Loompa song) and the second part was about Peter being able to play the piano, but only when drunk.

    So, I will cite only one pop culture reference in this particular episode, and it’s at the very end. It’s the last living brain cell in Peter’s brain, and the cell is happy now because it can read all the books he wants…until he breaks his glasses and says, “It’s not fair! There was time now!” This Twilight Zone reference was actually built up from previous scenes; there’s a context to why he’s the last surviving brain cell and there was a cause for why that scene could exist. It was optional, but by no means was it interchangeable.

    The scenes in this episode supported the plot line and were not interchangeable because they can’t be rearranged in an arbitrary way, and that’s what made this episode work, and I would say that’s true of the first three seasons.

  • heylook

    I find the Dancing in the Streets and Conway Twitty bits funny — I don’t think they’re hiding the fact that they had no ideas and they were time-fillers. That said, I surely don’t think the show’s genius, I do think the worst parts of it come from McFarlane himself, and this is proven by what I’ve seen of “Die in the West” and “Ted.”

  • I can’t stop laughing! I just thought “you assholes!” while laughing hysterically when you revealed the critic behind the “smartest” quote to be an obese, low rent, Latino Elvira.

  • Bailey Fields

    racist asshole.

  • Christopher Kulik

    Ugh! I just showed a 5-year-old kid the original Paddington cartoons from the mid-1970s and flipped for him, Those still are hilarious; this looks like total and utter crap.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Why must everything be modernized? I feel so sorry for children and their crap movies they’re stuck with.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You were supposed to blame Megan’s Foxhole.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Same here.

  • Christopher Kulik

    Thank you 🙂

  • Meester Smeeth

    I may have come off as if I completely despise Family Guy, but I don’t, really. I actually rather enjoy it. I guess you could say it’s a guilty pleasure in a way. But sometimes I just get to a point where I think, wow, that was actually pretty horrible.

  • Morris

    I’m jonesing for some new Red Letter Media stuff!

  • LelouchtheFilial

    What warm-blooded human wouldn’t want his or her port to be docked by Jay’s Bau (bow)… man?

  • omitted

    I think RLM videos need *less Jay… sleeveless, shirtless, pantless 😉

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wait, she’s 10 years old and turns into a MILF?

    Paedophilia has never been so easy! 😀

  • Yeah, and I also hate it when there are full-length musical interludes or jokes that just go on way too long, where the joke apparently is that the joke is going on for too long, or some other random shit which takes up a ridiculous amount of time. They really feel like cheap ways to fill the time. I can’t see what other purpose they’d serve – someone once told me the musical bits are there because Seth likes to sing. Great for him.

    But I also have to admit that there’s a lot of good Family Guy episodes and that the show has gotten a good number of genuine laughs out of me.

  • Samuel Pérez García

    Also the million and a half unexplained shit that- well fuck it we are rebooting this franchise anyway so who cares!

  • RLMkeepitup

    From my quick peek into the comments below I think we all are my friends.

  • Shane Von Russell

    Are you kidding? This was horrible.

  • Shane Von Russell

    Good answer, Rich Evans!

  • fuckstick
  • kenchun24

    Fun episode RLM gang. DOFP was a solid summer joint, and probably an “A+ for effort” in regards to retconning the crappy Fox Studios X-Men fare I’ve pretty much erased from my brain over the years.

    Other than Amazing Subplot Man 2 (I had no interest in Seth In The West flick or Maleficent), most of the spring/summer fare I’ve checked out so far has been pretty solid. With my #1 fave being Liman, Cruise, Blunt & Bill Paxton’s Edge of Tomorrow. Which of course my fellow domestic audiences avoided like the plague the past two weeks since it’s not a sequel, prequel, reboot or branded Disney, Bayformer, superhero IP franchise. I’m terribly vexed that ASM2 was able to reap ANY domestic box-office success for that shitty movie over the fantastic EoT. Damn RLM, maybe Grown Ups 3 was secretly released last week?

    Oh, not gonna lie…me pre-teen self watched far too many hours of late ’80s/early ’90s MTV Beach House Spring Break shenanigans. “Spring Breeaak, Spring Breeaaak foreverrrrrr…”

  • omitted

    I’ve been re-watching some of the early HitBs and one semi-reasonable question came to mind: Why aren’t you guys doing conventions any more? All those reports from your trips to various cons were hilarious. Will you be going to cons again when Space Cop comes out to promote that?

  • TICKETS

    I enjoyed everything about the movie except for the fact that it’s a time travel cop out movie. They reset everything by the end and the movie just feels like filler for the series now.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I just went back to watch the Half in the Bag episode where they review Troll 2 but it doesn’t seem to be playing.

  • bullzeye1423

    I could write for Seth McFarlane if it’s not a joke on urban culture it’s an 80’s pop culture reference.

  • bullzeye1423

    It’s Return.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Ohhh, sick height burn Mike!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Yea. I really want to see that one… 🙁

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I find the extended music clips good just as a way to introduce some random piece of dated cultural history to people who would probably never have run into it otherwise (not saying that in a snobby way either, as I had never seen a lot of it before myself). The bigger problem with Family Guy to me is not those kind of lengthy interludes, but the basic joke composition routines and punchline-dialogue, which just got ~shockingly~ lazy as the seasons went on. I always miss that early conversation between Brian and Peter about the “to” and “from” labels on Xmas presents, whenever I happen to catch one of the newer episodes.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I think the marketing for “Edge of Tomorrow” was done very poorly, and made it seem like a very generic kind of Tom Cruise scifi-vehicle (which, coming not that far off the heels of Oblivion, it’s kind of understandable that it wouldn’t generate all that much public interest).
    All the positive things I’ve heard about the film, from others, weren’t conveyed at all to me through the TV spots.

  • Alex Lee

    Or the “audit” joke, which is based on clever wordplay and Peter’s dumbness.

    Peter: I’m getting an audi!
    Brian: Peter, that’s says “audit.”
    Peter: No, the T is silent.
    Chris: I have an innie.

  • kenchun24

    For sure, but I know I’m a rare “movie going type” nowadays that doesn’t care about trailers. In fact, I avoid them due to trailers giving away too much or are just plain misleading. I’ll see that really early “Comi-con” teaser of any flick I’m coveting to check out, should it pique my interest. Then upon release I graze reviews from folks I follow (print or video style YouTube movie reviewers) and if they start teetering from good to great, I’m in.

    That’s really the only reason why I went to see DOFP, the great reviews. As the more recent Fox X-Men fare (Last Stand & Origins) had burned me before so I even waited for a rental regarding First Class. But I don’t think “Average Joe & Jane” moviegoer, nor their Millennial Gen counterparts, read reviews anymore. Or they didn’t see the several YouTube folks championing EoT prior to (and after) it’s domestic release. Like you felt, they seem to strictly stick to the marketing, or familiar pre-branded qualities and base their “must see or avoid” assumptions off of that.

    Still, the writing is on the wall. New IP’s in the sci-fi/action/fantasy genre releasing in the summer time is pretty much a death sentence domestic box office wise. Those non franchise branded movies get the shaft by the average moviegoer practically months before any reviews are even out. Look how the two sequels (which to be fair garnered good to great reviews as well) – Train Your Dragon 2 & 22 Jump Street – opened great this past weekend. Then watch when Bay4ormers, opening at the end of June probably does the same…ugh.

    My favorite, “most fun I had in the theater” popcorn flick from the morose summer 2013 line-up was Pacific Rim (which even the RLM gang liked per their review). As I walked out of the Edge of Tomorrow screener, I was thinking the exact same thing when I walked out of a PacRim screener last summer – “I loved this movie! I want to see it again, so of course NOBODY stateside is going to see it.” – and I was right. As the U.S. audiences preferred to see Adam Sandler get his face pissed on from a deer via the 7% Rotten metered Grown Ups sequel that same weekend. Mike & Jay have reminded us of that as well here on RLM lol…it is what it is.

    The local Burbank CA (I reside in L.A.) Schmoes Know on EoT…
    http://youtu.be/_wjT6IeuoVw

    YT movie reviewer Chris Stuckmann on EoT…
    http://youtu.be/IOixYsF4JYs

  • Duckler

    Ah jeez. I’ll really try not to miss out on the next completely unimportant web discussion, you guys. Snarf!

  • Bleach? Planks of styrofoam didn’t work for you?

  • Git Picker

    Going iinto A Million Ways I knew it would be a generally bad movie with a lot of decent gags. I would advise to only see movies like that if you know what your getting from the beginning-basically, lower the bar of expectations.
    MacFarlane could have and should have done a better job. But for all that, I enjoyed most of the gags in the movie.
    That’s something I’ve noticed about ole Seth-good at individual jokes, not such a great storyteller. He also has no idea what ‘too far’ means.

  • X men was awesome

  • El_Runko

    This has nothing to do with anything but I just saw this for the first time and I love it to death.

    Look at Mike’s happy little face LOOK AT IT

  • They didn’t “reset” it – in the new time line, Jean and Cyclops still live, and Xavier didn’t have to bring himself back to life (??). Basically, X-Men 3 didn’t happen now, and the events of X-Men 1 and 2 may be altered, too.

    Plus, the next X-Men movie will be a sequel to Days of Future Past; it’s set to feature McAvoy and Fassbender and all the other people of the young X-Men crew. The movie will probably explore what happens after the events in the past in Days of Future Past. Days of Future Pants opened up a whole new, different timeline.

  • Tilde White

    I’ve got a DVD in the living room of a movie called Excess Baggage, and the quote on the back of the box is also from Maria Salas. Is she more relevant than you give her credit for? I have no idea.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Tommy is almost cupping his boob. o_o
    Just a bit lower. A little bit more. Yep yep, right there. Perfection.

    Seriously though, that’s probably the happiest I’ve ever seen Mike.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    As much as I’d want to say “how dare you!” as a knee-jerk reaction, Jay’s naturally slight build does tend to look better about 80% clothed… ._.

    Perhaps we should send him some care-packages of detached sleeves and leg-warmers…

  • yaniv chenski

    Episode 73!!! lazy fks

  • Peter Battifarano

    The next X-Men movie is X-Men Apocalypse.

  • Peter Battifarano

    They make fun of Seth dating Seyfried, and Theron in the movie, but have they seen the girls he’s dated in real life? Geez it’s an all-star lineup

  • Alex Lee

    “What is it that makes men want to have sex with many different women?”

    http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/267345/sex-addicts#tab=related

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Well, he is… rich. 😐

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    This RLM content release cycle is hard to get used to. : I just got caught up with their archives about a week ago, after binging, and now I’m going into viewer-withdrawal… ._. New BOTW or HITB? Please? 4 hour stream of an empty set? Anything will do really.

  • El_Runko
  • Painted Pagliacci Of Perfidy

    Fucking Halo.

  • Alex Lee

    I don’t know, she likes Hotel Translyvania

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Yea, I’ve been working my way through those. It seems like it would be
    fun to be there live, but they announced no stream this week. ;_; Can’t
    even comment on the videos with others either… *sniffle*
    (Yes, I’m a giant baby.)

  • Johnny Orfei

    That is so adorable. There is not one person in this picture I DON’T want to hug.

  • George Warshington

    A Wild Wild West joke might have made this more brillanter than ’twas. You see, because thats a ref I get. Because it happened. And I saw it. Multiple times. In. A. Row.

  • Paul Schumann

    have to say this is one of my all time favorites

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Moar content, you lazy jerks. :0 *pokes the computer screen with a stick*

  • Derek Cottle

    A Million Ways to Die in the West is both a cliched western and an infantile comedy. Long stretches of the movie don’t even contain attempts at humor, and the supposedly humorous parts often consist of poop jokes; the story is mostly told straight. But what the movie really suffers from is a dearth of imagination from Seth MacFarlane and the other principal actors. This is an uninspired movie, and it could have easily been a clever take on how we’ve advanced as a society since the wild west, or like to think we have. I was expecting jokes about how ‘hardcore’ we like to think settlers on the frontier would have been, but already I’m putting more thought into the story than MacFarlane. Most of the jokes should be familiar to you by way of general pop culture osmosis; even if you’re unfamiliar with Seth MacFarlane’s work. This movie has no reason to exist.

  • SkaMP

    u liek my beerd?

  • Alex Lee

    The real tragedy of Into Darkness was that if the people higher up tried just a little bit harder, it actually could have been the best Star Trek movie ever, pleasing both old fans and new people alike. Abrams could have demanded a tighter script and not take out logic scenes (like Scotty BSing his way into the secret hanger), The writers could have more concrete conferences defining themes and coming up with resolutions that actually made sense, and introducing deus-ex-machina devices with consequences that carry over into the entire movie.

    I’m not likely to see DoFP because I have to stay in-house for the next three months, but apparently, the story is focused and Singer is willing to cut great performances (as he did with Rogue’s scenes) for the sake of the story being told. The story probably came first and they were able to keep Deus-Ex-Machina powers to a minimum, which is difficult in a world of superpowers where its diversity is solely due to writing and ret-conning its ways out of its holes.

  • ElCamino

    Did anyone else notice towards the end of the Die In The West review that a man runs behind Jay’s chair, but doesn’t show up again? Where’d he go? Why introduce a new character if you’re not gonna utilize him in the story?!

  • Duckler

    That was Bladder-Man, always running to the bathroom..

  • Duckler

    Shouldn’t Mike’s legs be much more hairy? Everything I’ve been led to believe is a lie..!

  • Duckler

    I wish I had the mutant power to realize that they weren’t actually on vacation.

  • ElCamino

    Ohhhhhh, so there’s a tiny bathroom on the back of Jay’s chair!

  • heylook

    Oh sure. The show’s not perfect. I’m not defending it. But it has improved. I have actually seen them do TWO Fox/Parkinson’s jokes — in good taste? No. But I haven’t found them particularly mean-spirited.

    And, truth to tell, I thought it was funny that they showed “Dancing in the Street’s” entire video in the middle of an episode.

    With that in mind, yes, the show is rife with lazy storytelling, bad jokes, desperate attempts at being edgy, and so forth. But there are occasions where they really do nail it — like an episode where Brian publishes a book (and goes on Bill Maher’s show) or when Brian sings about legalizing marijuana, or the Star Wars episodes. I’m sure those episodes still have misogynistic comedy and lots of other nonsense that makes me shake my head (I haven’t seen them in some time), but I’m just saying the writers have the abilities…they just don’t exercise them much.

  • heylook

    HAHAHAHA!

    Douche.

  • Zach McDonald

    Too much misogyny? Lol really…

  • LukeMM95

    Are you kidding? The first three Family Guy seasons were the best the show ever was. It was never classic Simpsons quality but it was decently written, the characters were likeable and the humour was both outrageous but also charming. Beginning with season 4, the show started relying too much on cutaways, gross-out gags, mean-spirited humour and social commentary with the subtly of a bulldozer crashing through a brick wall.

    What was great about Ted was it felt a lot like those early years of Family Guy. It wasn’t hilarious or expertly written but it made for quite an enjoyable experience.

  • heylook

    I agree that the show had some outrageous and charming moments early on (like Peter and Lois getting dressed for some S&M), but I felt the first seasons (I’ve only watched in syndication so don’t know exact seasons aside from Kunis didn’t voice Meg in ssn1 & they went HD in ssn 3 or 4) also had plenty of “attack humor.”

    The mean-spiritedness def’ly kicked in before they went HD…and got worse for season after season for a while (the Star Wars episodes notwithstanding as it’s pretty clear Lucas wouldn’t let them get away w/that humor — again, w/a couple of exceptions).

    To me, the most offensive thing about the show which persists to this day is its rampant misogyny. (Not the Meg jokes — that’s a running gag not about Meg being female but about Meg being awful — but cutting away to Raiders of the Lost Ark for no reason and having Marion yell, “Indy, I’m pregnant” to which Indy responds “Open your eyes!” or the random cutaways to random couples where a man is telling a woman to shut up or that she’s a b–ch when ANY gag would do the job…)

    But Ted had a brilliant setup that had one joke: Ted grew up to be disgusting. And the joke wears out pretty quickly IMO. But the story was still a good idea, until the 3rd act where it becomes a thriller for no good reason. And the myriad ’80s references — a sad McFarlane staple that is as tiresome in Ted as it is Family Guy — just didn’t add anything to the movie. If anything, they were distractions that continually reminded me I was watching a movie that ran out of story 30 mins in.

    Admittedly, when it comes to story, I’m pickier than most, but that’s how I feel about it.

  • LukeMM95

    First off the show went into HD in season 9, so I think you’re mistaking a few seasons for others. I don’t remember those gags you mentioned but they sound like they’d belong in post-season 3 episodes. There was some misogyny and other offensive stuff in the early seasons too but it wasn’t on the same level as the most recent episodes. Plus Meg was still liked by her family in the first three seasons (or at the very least, wasn’t hated) and the family as a whole were still quite likeable. Unlike today where every character is an self-centred, moronic asshole with no redeeming qualities.

    I agree that Ted’s premise and setup are a lot more interesting than the execution but there’s still a lot of stuff that works. Yes Ted is a foul-mouthed, trashy, party animal but he’s also shown to genuinely care for Mark Wahlberg’s character and he never does anything assholish on purpose. The lack of well written jokes was one of the movies biggest problems but the story itself wasn’t terrible. With some better writing, Ted could have been a modern day classic. As it stands now, it’s not great but comparing the movie to some of MacFarlene’s other recent works, it’s definitely a huge improvement.

  • LukeMM95

    Those first three seasons were the show’s best. I mean they’re not masterpieces of comedy, but they’re decently written, funny and at times even charming. Season 4 and onwards is where all the bad qualities of Family Guy began to take over the show and now the show relies solely on gross-out gags, over-the-top violence, mean-spirited humour and pop culture references.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I actually just watched quite a few episodes from season 3 this past week and they were still rather funny. Something that bothered me a bit, though, was the show never allowed anything sentimental without undermining it with a quick joke. I was thinking they could show a little bit of constraint, but it’s not a terrible flaw.

    I was surprised by how witty it was because the current ones seem so derivative and lowest-common-denominator. Back then they actually had some charm and Stewie was still evil and hell-bent on killing Lois. Meg was more than just a character that the rest of the family disliked and picked on [even though they still picked on her].

    It seems like they looked at all the thing that made the audience laugh and only decided to use those going forward when really those jokes don’t work by themselves. They need to be part of a story and somewhat relate to what’s happening. You can’t have things go crazy without having the show be somewhat grounded first.

  • diehounderdoggen

    Having been forced to sit through A Million Ways to Die in the West, I suggest it be renamed The Seth McFarlane Show, Starring Seth McFarlane. 95% of the scenes were just him standing on camera, center frame, talking into camera for minutes at a stretch. And even when he’s gracious enough to allow another actor some screentime, he finds the need to either talk over them or not give them any interesting lines in the first place. The man effectively wasted the talent he hired by using them as human window dressing with exorbitant hiring fees. This breakdown of badness isn’t even related to the badness stemming from his acting (somehow bland yet obnoxiously frantic) the plot (basically nonexistent) or his writing (jeuvenile and unimaginative.)

  • Photon123

    “It was great to see an X-Men film that utilized all the characters appropriately…”

    Bullshit.

    I had to stop there. A still-not-fully-convincingly-acted Mystique was
    overused here, and for the WRONG reason. she can LOOK like anyone and
    sound like them, but she NEVER gets their powers. So, the major thing
    this movie hung itself on was a misinterpretation of what Mystique can
    actually do. Now, if they had said Rogue, I would have believed it, or
    even Rogue AND Mystique, but that’s not what happened. Storm was once again NOTORIOUSLY underused, and that was NOT appropriate.

    Also, there was very little clarity in this film until towards the end, which is it’s main saving grace. It still doesn’t make it a great film, though. I usually agree with your assessments, but you 2 are truly drinking the Kool-Aid on this one. That must explain the beach setting and the hawaiian shirt.

  • Photon123

    And that’s what sucks. X3 should have happened. If the “old” crew are out, then so am I for the next time around. I hated First Class, and I am not a fan of the reboot, although McAvoy and Fassbender do actually work out, but they’re not enough. They need the “old” crew to keep me interested, and I truly think the original actors and ironically borrowing from the style of The Last Stand is what has this movie working so well for people (even though no one wants to admit it).

    Since we know that the cure is only temporary, it should still exist for mutants that have mutations that are so extreme it makes living their lives really hard. Think of someone like Rogue that can’t touch or be touched. What if she and Iceman wanted to have a child? That’s not even a possibility unless she’s deactivated in some way. There’s nothing about X3 that ruined anything if some people paid attention, but whatever now.

    They used the “old” crew to get the “new” crew the boost they needed since they couldn’t do it on their own when you look at the First Class box office, despite the over-the-top glowing reviews. If they were truly only using the originals to boost the newbies, then I’m done. I still like the old crew best. I still want to see Storm rock it, and I miss Rebecca R as Mystique. She was amazing!

  • Photon123

    X3 was never “fucked” in the first place. You just weren’t paying close enough attention.

  • heylook

    I don’t disagree with you. I just think there have been improvements in their ability to tell good stories on the occasions that they do.

  • perfectlyreasonabletoo

    lol umad

  • perfectlyreasonabletoo

    “twas”

    Please sterilize yourself.

  • Dave Musgrave

    Jay is so cute in this one.

  • Topdek

    I saw Days of Future Past yesterday and enjoyed it quite a lot. I don’t understand the criticism of Mystique, as she’s always been one of the most interesting characters in the series; a sexy empowered femme fatale who is neither present for sex appeal nor token female empowerment, but just as an interesting character with a genuinely tragic past; being born so different. I thought that she was well placed to make the fateful decision in the climax of the film, because it really felt that it could go either way (ignoring film logic, of course): while Mystique definitely seems to care more about Xavier, she can see Magneto’s point of view clearer since she’s been subject to such cruel bigotry. I like that Xavier is both physically and psychically helpless in that climax, but his empathy wins over Mystique to his way of thinking rather than Magneto’s excessive display of power. Peter Dinklage was also a great casting choice and I’m so glad that his role didn’t revolve around his physical stature. He plays a terrific villain, not a mustache twirler but an intelligent, paranoid man who is convinced he is doing the right thing.

    This was a great summer film. It’s less of a superhero movie and more of a sci-fi thriller in the vein of 12 Monkeys or Inception (especially with Ellen Paige as Shadowcat channeling Wolverine into the past to create a story within a story).

  • Topdek

    One significant issue I have with the movie, though is that there’s no reason for Magneto to fly off after Mystique decided not to shoot Trask. Mystique put a bullet through Magneto’s neck, but he obviously hadn’t lost control of his powers and could have killed Trask, President Nixon and all the DoD honchos present. It was sheer magnanimity that Magneto opted to fly off (without his helmet, no less).

    A good way to have fixed this would be to have Beast run in and inject Magneto with some of the serum once Mystique took her shot. That way Magneto could be captured instead of peacefully leaving the scene without the requisite character motivation.

    Aside from that, I enjoyed Magneto’s supervillainy. It felt appropriate too, given how long he had been in solitary confinement. I think he might have been too cruel to Wolverine though. Was it really necessary to snake iron tubing through Wolverine’s body? It wasn’t like there was a hatred between them that called for such torture.

  • Photon123

    lol are you?

  • Photon123

    Xavier could control him. That’s why he couldn’t do anything. That’s why he basically had to ask Charles if he could leave because if Charles didn’t let him go they’d kill him if they got him in their custody again. Mystique was able to choose because Charles let her. He says that in the film, that he’s not going to control her and he’ll let her decide. So, there’s not really a problem there.

    As for what Magneto did to Wolverine. He wanted to make sure he didn’t get in the way, plus he knew Wolverine could regenerate, so no real (or at least long-term) harm done.

    The last half hour or so of the film aren’t where most of the problems are, at least not to me. One problem I did have was the fact that after Magneto is shot, he doesn’t even really bleed, and my what a lucky shot. She didn’t hit an artery or anything… Eric didn’t even seem to be in any pain, like he was only nicked with a razor whilst shaving, lol.

  • Photon123

    Of course, I just wrote a reply that went in the Never-Never-Land, so I’ll start again.

    I don’t think anyone is criticising the character of Mystique, or at least I haven’t seen that anywhere. The problem is with the portrayal of the character. Look, I loved Jennifer Lawrence in the Hunger Games, but she’s just not great as Mystique. Some of my issues with her can be wiped away with the fact that she’s the younger version of the character, but that only goes so far. She was a bit better than she was in First Class, but it still falls short when compared to Rebecca Romijn’s Mystique.

    If all you’ve got to go off of is nothing, or drawn comics, or the cartoon, then I can see why Jennifer might work for some people. One problem I have is When Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t have anything to do in these films, she’s wooden. That works for Katniss because of her personality and what she’s been through, but that’s not Mystique. Rebecca played the character in such a way where, even when she was just standing in the background, you were getting something from her. She really embodied that character. Mystique is the way Rebecca played her to me, always fluid, always ready, something always simmering just beneath the surface, and never wooden.

    But for complaints about Mystique this time out, the reason why Mystique was so “major” this time around didn’t make good sense in terms of the writing, not unless more was added to it, and that’s not what happened. To me, that’s a big one. At least in The Last Stand the mutant they needed to create the cure actually did what the cure was for; he neutralized the mutant gene in other mutants when they were close to him.

    I’m not saying Days of Future Past was a bad movie, but it surely had some real problems. It rates as just okay for me, and that’s because things came together at the end. Maybe Apocalypse will be better and will better feature some of the underused characters.

  • Storm sucks.

  • Cassidy Fitzgerald Liston

    Cut to the footage of Charlize Theron praising Seth McFarlane. Oooof! So painful!

  • Freak #1

    Jennifer Lawrence is fine. I think her popularity stems almost entirely from the fact that Suburban girls can relate to her. She’s sort of blank, usually passionless, she has mid-western features (of course she’s beautiful, but in a way that makes more average girls feel like they look like her.) She’s definitely in the Kristen Stewart mold. I think people gush over her a little too much.

    *If this seems like a trollish comment I apologize.

  • Photon123

    Your comment sucks.

  • No YOUR comment sucks!

  • I can totally imagine Seth making demands of his character “One, Sethy needs to be louder, angrier, and have access to a time
    machine. Two, whenever Sethy’s not on screen, all the other characters
    should be asking “Where’s Sethy”?

  • If he made 5 lousy movies for every decent one he’d still have a solid following…seems to me to be about the ratio he operates Family Guy at… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdUanAllCZM

  • wow. sensitive are we?

  • perfectlyreasonabletoo

    Stick it up your fedora.

  • Photon123

    And yet you liked it anyway.

  • Oh, so you stopped before they mentioned they weren’t big on Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique, and before they said it was bizarre that it was her powers being used to adapt the Sentinels when it was more of a “Rogue thing”?

    Maybe watch a review in full before you ragequit.

  • CorbeauNoir

    In JLaw’s defense, wasn’t her character *supposed* to be a kid-playing-dressup type in American Hustle? I mean she’s the young ditzy wife who wants in on the illegal excitement and intrigue her husband gets up to and ends up causing all kinds of unnecessary trouble because she doesn’t really know what she’s doing – her intended role is exactly what Jay is complaining she is. I mean it was a mediocre movie in general but I don’t understand why that’s always his point of focus when that seems to be the entire point of her character in the first place.

  • CorbeauNoir

    Fuck apologizing for everything. People need to grow some backbone, you can’t say anything at all anymore without some micro-minority getting a stick up their ass about it. .

  • Freak #1

    It would be quite a micro-minority. It would be one single beautiful movie star that millions of people love, and one guy on the internet talking about how she’s not that great.

  • CorbeauNoir

    No, I really do mean you can’t say ANYthing without some micro-minority getting a stick up their ass about it, not just some RLM quip about JLaw.

  • Charlize Theron is a damn fine Afrikaner. Seth McFarlane is worshiped by British comedians like he’s some sort of comedy rock star, while Americans tend to love Ricky Gervais, who bothers to be somewhat intelligent in his comedy.

  • Dan21

    ^^See that McFarlane, that’s called comedy. You should try it sometime.

  • Alex Lee

    Huh, would have thought Lawrence was more like Pepsi; slightly different flavor, but largely equivalent.

  • Alex Lee

    It’s understandable why a person would mix up episodes. It became a random series of interchangeable jokes at some point and it became hard to keep track of which jokes belong to which episode. For example, this gag:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5xm2gCCWFw

    What episode was it from? What was the plot of this episode? How did this joke contribute to the plot? I have no idea, personally, and it’s the reason why I don’t watch anymore.

  • Photon123

    Well, at least they got that right. I’m sorry, but the way they started out made it seem like they were getting on the “OMG-Best-Movie-EVAR!!!” fan bus and I just couldn’t get with that.

    I’ll watch the rest of the review, but in my defense, if they knew Jennifer Lawrence was overused and in the wrong ways because Mystique’s powers don’t work that way, then don’t say everyone was used “appropriately.” Obviously, based off of what you’re saying, they knew better than that. That’s all I’m sayin’.

  • Firebrand

    Thanks for ripping on Seth McMarlane guys. Ted was THE WORST. There are some funny family guy episodes for sure but Seth’s movies suck.

  • Freak #1

    Calling a group a “micro-minority” doesn’t invalidate their concerns or opinions. There’s nothing wrong with thinking of others when you speak.

  • the_antithesis

    Finally watched Days of Future Pants and one thing that struck me is how they avoided comic book nerd nitpicking of the original story by literally getting nothing right. I’m the sort of asshole that would have nitpicked a movie like that to death and it just seemed pointless here since nothing is the same except the broad overall them of a shitty future happening because some guy hates mutants and Mystique kills him and some comes back in time from said shitty future to stop that. Since nothing else was even close I stopped bother to nitpick and, get this, WATCHED THE DAMN MOVIE.

    Well, how about that shit?

    Overall it was pretty good. I didn’t like Lawrence as Mystique. He nose looks terrible in the make-up. But then, Rebecca whatshername looked terrible in that make-up. It’s unflattering to her nose, for some reason. But good story, good characters. Good action. not a lot to complain about.

  • ElCamino

    It was like watching Will Smith and his son talk about After Birth. Ugh, so awkward!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Ricky Gervais has a beautiful laugh, but when watching an outtake reel with him in The Office, I was beginning to wonder how the Hell that show ever got completed. Or made any money.

  • DrZoid99

    And the humor (or rather lack of), don’t forget that. It’s really sad and pathetic he still thinks saying F*** and sex stuff out loud still has shock value this day and age, and therefore is funny on its own. It getting really annoying (not just from him, but he is one of the bigger culprits).

  • oblivion328

    Mystique actually had a prominent role in the Days of Future Past story arc in the comics. It’s Wolverine who was shoehorned into the story. He was not the one who went into the past in the source material, but they have to make him the main character of nearly every X-Men film because Jackman is the biggest name in the cast.

  • HNSZ

    You’re wrong. Jackman isn’t that big a name anyway. Wolverine is badass, this is why he is ‘shoehorned’ .

  • Cameron

    “Sheep are hard to train. They don’t listen to EWE.”

    Ha!

  • RRB

    DOFP had its moments and was enjoyable to watch but it’s time travel concept ain’t as mind blowing as some have made out, my fave X-men are Beast and Colossus but neither of them have been represented correctly in the films, the thing I don’t get is in X2 Colossus has black hair when he transforms, then after Bryan Singer left we got Brett “the rat” Ratner for the last stand, in the film Colossus hair is no longer black but silver when he transforms, like he would feel pain in his hair if he got hit but on set they had a pratical Colossus costume with black hair, then with Singer back I thought the hair would be back the way it was and in all the promotional material for DOFP he has black hair again but in the film it’s fuckin silver! Anyway it was a fun flick and I liked that the opening just throws you in there but for me Cap Americas amazing adventure 2:the winter solider really hit the spot and filled me up good. I just hope we can get a intelligent, witty Beast in the films soon and a actual Russian to play Colossus, you hear me FOX…no, well fuck you!

  • ForwardEarth

    I made a valid point. You’re just a dick. At least you won’t get lonely.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I don’t know how “at least you won’t get lonely” is supposed to make me feel bad.
    I don’t like being lonely. I’m glad for the company.

  • ForwardEarth

    I just meant there are seven other dicks surrounding you. That part was more for them, just as a matter of principle, since they’re not likely to see it. It’s nice that you’re glad to have all those dicks around you. I support that. I’m a liberal.

    That was a gay joke. I can be indulge in petty and unwarranted attacks, too. It’s just not my go-to.

    By the way, the ink thing was a not a throwaway joke. I don’t even understand how you think that makes sense.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Dude… you liked your own comment and now you’re reigniting a comment discussion that ended a month ago.
    Here’s something that your outrage and your brain have in common– they’re both incredibly, incredibly slow.

  • disqus_qh8vablbRP

    “Afffordable Prices.”

  • pete smith

    You should invite Maria Salas to your show. Wheel of the worst or something. Doesn’t matter if he knows english or not

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Maria Salas looks like a nilbog

  • Haydee Muhamood

    Just fyi: Mystique actually changes her DNA. Hence the reason she can match fingerprints, voice DNA, and retinal scans (all things shown within the original trilogy). So “adapting” is not her power, but the ability to physically alter her DNA is. She’s even shown (in certain comics and cartoons) to take the form of animals. So I agree that they technically misused the idea of her powers, but it’s much less of a stretch from this point than a character who “only changes her appearance”.

  • Boogiewoogie

    Interviewer: “Have you ever been in an actual plane crash?”

    Jayden: “Well, technically a landing is a controlled crashed, so TECHNICALLY we have been in a plane crash”

    Will: “Mmhmm thats deep”

  • Robby

    Oh god, please tell me that’s not a real quote.

  • Boogiewoogie

    yep.

  • Robby

    As a casual X-Men and superhero fan, I found Days of Future Past enjoyable enough. I just wanted to mention (because I haven’t heard anyone else say it yet), there’s an unintentionally hilarious moment in the first act. When Wolverine first confronts young Professor Xavier and is told to fuck off, he asks Beast what happened to the professor. Beast says “He lost everything. You know, Erik, Raven…his legs.” It kills me every time. It seems like such a spoof movie line meant to play for a laugh during an emotional moment. II even watched it with my brother afterwards with no forewarning and he laughed too.

  • Samuel Pérez García

    Hugh Jackman is a big star BECAUSE of Wolverine.

  • Samuel Pérez García

    The original comic was a letdown, though. I think they improved the story.

  • John Wright

    More like from Obama the guy who thinks Charleston, SC, Savannah, GA and Jacksonville, FL have gulf coast ports.

  • Thomas Watson

    An X-Men film that will please any fan and more than
    make up for some of the series’ lower moments. Mainly the third and
    Origins.

  • Max Eckhardt

    Jay is awesome!

  • Max Eckhardt

    I can’t stop watching the first minute and a half of this video. It’s like crack to me. I need a least one fix a day.

  • ccw_clan:rewired

    Good source of comedy concerning sheep: Black Sheep from 2006.

  • Earth

    I’ve been rewatching episodes and I couldn’t help noticing this. It actually turned out pretty good.

  • Earth

    I’m sorry that I’m basically replying to a comment that’s a year old. It’s just when I see a comment I disagree with I have the urge to reply. As someone who saw it I couldn’t help feeling these comments were a little mean spirited. It was a fun movie and seemed to be made by people who actually cared deeply about the source material. as someone dragged to see it I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yeah, I was wrong. I want to watch it now. Trailer still stunk, though.

  • Earth

    I realised a good way of putting it is that the trailer looks like American Flatulators, but instead you get Thunderpants.

  • Yung Bleezy

    lol your beer labels are the same color as your greenscreen. OH FUCK IS THAT GHOST BEER?!

  • goldbrood

    I remember seeing trailers for that. Of course it came from New Zealand, where the fuck else could it have come from

  • Punkster

    I just had the displeasure of re-watching that Seth MacFarlane travesty on DVD and I just need to reiterate that it is got to be the worst thing I saw from Hollywood this decade.

    It is just mean spirited shite, there’s not a single laugh to be had, in fact they should have called it A Million Ways To Die At Comedy, then it may have worked.

    I do seem to remember saying something similar to this last year on this site, it’s not that I am just repeating myself it is just what I believe after seeing it again.

    ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS!

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