Half in the Bag: X-Men: Apocalypse

May 30, 2016362 Comments

After cleaning up blood, Mike and Jay saw the new X-Men film!


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • nooodles

    Was a huge fan of the first two films and then it all went shite. Will watch this review and most probably pass on the film. Love you guys!!!

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    second

  • Dasjerm

    Before I have a couple of vodka gimlets and take my cat to the casino, I’d like to know when the Force Awakens Plinkett movie will come out

  • ElectricPrism

    fourth

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    That white TV is A e s t h e t i c 

  • OMNI

    I have to see this movie, because Mike said it was shlock, otherwise I wouldn’t consider it.

  • OMNI

    I’ve always been put -off by the X-Men/Singer thing. Barely passable. Good actors in bad movies.

  • RiverDevil

    It’s stylistically designed to be that way

  • OMNI

    It’s there so that the guys can destroy it.

  • Rob Peterson

    Hey look…another superhero movie review on RLM.

    Do you guys even understand that you don’t HAVE to review these pieces of turd every time one comes out?

  • OMNI

    Yes they do…

  • Rob Peterson

    Yes of course….just like they HAVE to review every Adam Sandler bowel movement?

  • OMNI

    It’s in their blood, just like I have to see movies like XMen Apacalypto

  • Rob Peterson

    How you spend your life torturing yourself is of no interest to anyone except you.

  • OMNI

    Schlock is an art, it has to be cultivated in a convoluted atmosphere of quasi self loathing and self indulgence.

  • lucid_flux

    You’re right they should have seen that new Alice in Wonderland movie, that movie looks like a golden turd.

  • Studio Executive

    “I loved it!” -Mike Stoklasa, Red Letter Media. The context will not be important by the time we put this on the back of the DVD.

  • Leejay Heller

    Although I do agree with Mike that this was a schlockpocalypse, also like schlock in these types of movie. However, I must be getting to a post-cynicism stage of my life as I actually got a genuine positive emotional response and actually smiled during the final battle where everyone uses their powers to defeat Apocalypse. Few movies actually get me to feel anything anymore, and surprisingly, this one that did.

  • OMNI

    All of these movies look like crap. Special effects suck nowadays.

  • #41baby

    Apocalypse: “Yes, my horsemen, wear this battle armor to protect you in
    the upcoming battle where I could simply walk outside and kill everyone
    in three seconds like I did earlier in the movie.”
    Psylocke: “Why did you give me a suit made of cloth where I am half naked?”
    Apocalypse: “Ummm….to battle.”

  • Matthew Edward Carter Isaac

    At the beginning of the film, Apocalypse while transferring to a younger body is ALSO transferring into a mutant body with super healing, like wolverine, which is indicated by them cutting Oscar Isaac’s stomach and then it heals in front of our eyes. Apocalypse’s motivation is supposed to be darwinism; he believes in survival of the fittest. He might want to wipe the Earth in the belief that those who survived would be the strongest, but then why didn’t he do that in 3600 BCE? Apocalypse wanted to take Xavier’s body in order to be more God-like. He inherently know he’s not a god, but he’s been able to convince people of that (according to this movies mythology); if he can be in everyone’s mind plus all the “seemingly” infinite powers he possess, people would recognize him as a god, which is contradictory to his belief in “survival of the fittest”, because it’s more I am god worship me than it is” let’s see who’s the best.” Moira MacTaggart is one of the most famous non-mutant x-men and an on-and-off love interest of Prof. X. THAT’s why they keep putting her in. And there are so many other problems with this movie that I was surprised you didn’t touch upon…however, you guys are awesome so whatever…..

  • Palpatine

    I highly await that moment.

  • jmt

    Poor Oscar Isaac. No longer doing art house work the Bourne Legacy or Sucker Punch.

  • OMNI

    ok

  • Yeah, this seems like it would be fun.

  • Adzl33t

    At least this movie can be fodder for the next Deadpool movie

  • lucid_flux

    Wait… So doesn’t Apocalypse basically just want to do exactly what Magneito wanted to do? Which is kill all humans to make the world only mutants since humans are inferior?

  • OMNI

    Yes. Such is the world of unoriginal ideas that is Hollywood.

  • OMNI

    He’s like evil Ash..

  • Wolvy

    Mike and Jay = Fred and Barney.
    Rich Evans = Great Gazoo

  • OMNI

    I somehow never liked that little green man….

  • James Ridge

    Your reviews have saved me approximately $10,000 on shitty movies. Thanks!

  • moron

    “Good serious X-Men movie” is an oxymoron, Jay. I think. This movie was fun. The redhead from Game of Thrones is hot.

    I liked when Cyclops fucked up that tree at the compound.

  • RiverDevil

    Ozmodiar

  • RiverDevil

    Cannon fodder, basically

  • RLMkeepitup

    loved the olivia munn slice car in half zoom to cleavage moment. check that off my list!

  • TheVerySpecialK

    At the rate Hollywood is going, I fully expect to see a synthesis of porn and action movies within my lifetime.

  • Half In The Bag? More like Toilet Bowl Cartoon Festival! Stop watching silly man baby stuff. Leave arrested adolec… adolecseance already.

  • frankelee

    This was also a 3rd X-Men movie, you fucks.

  • HollywoodIsDead

    The White TV is a bit distracting.

  • Jess

    My favorite part of this review is when Mike is out of focus for most of it. 😛 Seriously though, you guys are great.

  • DarthRandal

    How the hell do you forget that Rose Byrne was in First Class? Those scenes in the beginning of her running around in her underwear were some of the most memorable of the film.

  • junkevil

    It was the professors favorite CGI tree too.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Can’t this series f*cking die already? At this point it is essentially limping along like Spin magazine.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I’m just glad that I don’t have to have another three movies with Jennifer fucking Lawrence as the center. I don’t like her, and I don’t like baby-face mystique, and I am sick of her being central to every plot.

    Oh, the movie was ok.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    +1

  • Domo

    I think it’s time for Scientist Man and his trusty sidekicks, whiteboard and nerd lumberjack, to make an appearance again.

    No one can explain the X-Men movie timelines quite the way he can.

  • UnhealthyNutter

    Why is Mystique an X-man?. She was never one in the comics or in the original films. She is ultimately a powerful villian in her own right. Also Jennifer Lawrence is a poor Mystique imo. They captured and portrayed her much, much better and much closer to the source matieral in the original(esp X-men one and X2) movies. I forget who the actress was, but she fully embraced it, which i just dont get that vibe from Jennifer Lawrence. She doesnt do the character justice.

  • SUPERMAD

    I dunno.

    This is the first X-Men movie (well, besides Wolverine Origins) that I’ve had absolutely no interest in. As good as McEvoy and Fassbender are, a part of me will always feel that Stewart & Mccellan are the true characters. I accepted them in FIRST CLASS because it was a story about the past – plus Kevin Bacon – but continuing the series with the new actors feels exhausting to me.

    And realize this: at this point in the timeline, in only 15 years we’ll be at the point where the first Xmen happened. How many more movies do you think they can cram in?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Mike’s a Happy Chewbacca. I am dead inside.

  • Don’t give into the alternate time line thing. DON’T APOLOGIZE! It’s convenient for the studios to be able to shove out more crap. We need time between reboots. We need space to breathe and we don’t need to feel dumb either for saying that. The speed everything is being churned out is nauseating. And large scale destruction movies mostly always fall apart and now everyone is making them. Everything is falling apart. You may tell your self that the movies have fun parts or that its amusing schlock but it’s all garbage… all of it.

    Give it a 7-10 year breather and start anew with small scale and new interesting things. The only right thing to do.

    Or just eat it. Eat DisneyStarWarsXmenBatmanMarvel pig slop AND DIE ALREADY!

  • DudeWith GreatAdvice

    Does Jay smoke or drink lots of coffee? I don’t have any reason for asking, just asking for a friend.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    yeah I agree. Cancel Half In The Bag!

  • DudeWith GreatAdvice

    These movies are popular and seen by the largest audiences. Do I need to continue as to why they review these movies?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    what? but they endorsed apocalypse!

  • SUPERMAD

    I give a “fuck yeah” to your bravery but I’m afraid I’m going to eat some of it.

    Hugh Jackman looks young in Xmen 1. They could cast Tom Hardy as the new Logan. God dammit.

  • Patrick Brian

    Did you see The Nice Guys?

  • Well I’m guilty too. And I could watch cartoon cinema if they’d give breathing room.

  • Thanatos2k

    I’ve come to the startling conclusion that Mike actually might like X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

  • Ex detective, mall Santa turns into the Wolverine every night to fight crime. There is your reboot Hollywood. Ehm…. Hollywood?…. helloo…. must be a bad connection. Anyway back to laughing at Hiroshima survivor stories.

  • Domo

    He didn’t say it was all that and a bag of potato chips, though.

    I guess in his mind that’s the same as rating it 10/10.

    He probably rates it 9.5/10.

  • tOmy`

    My favorite comic book movie set in Auschwitz is Schindler’s List. I love how they went with Sin City visuals.

  • Markham

    Can’t wait for the next one that’ll be set in the 90s; X-Men: Onslaught.

  • tOmy`

    We’ve seen this kinda gore and violence in The Wolverine movie set in Japan. There is a surprising number of murder in it. There is also a scene where they drive over a ninja in a slow plow and the snow pipe gushes out blood and meat onto a roof and other ninja slips on it.

    Ha.

  • Imperial_orb

    ( ^◡^)っ╰⋃╯

  • Imperial_orb

    He doesn’t like it, no, he loves it, the little tart.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it sounds amazing on paper but then you watch it and it’s boring as fuck.

  • Imperial_orb

    How can you be so sure? HOW!

  • Imperial_orb

    Something from that Movie I can’t forget is Wolverines line:
    “What they did to me, what I am, it can’t be undone.”
    I can’t remember anything else… Oh yeah, the Samurai Robot… and… the Girl.

  • tOmy`

    I kinda liked the movie. (I did finish it in two sittings tho).

    At the very beginning, where Wolverine decides to go to Japan against… well, any reason, really, I mean fuck, he is Wolverine, he doesn’t give a shit, right? Well, at that moment I just went: Wellp, the movie seems not to give a fuck so I won’t either and just enjoyed the vibe.

  • Robotpals

    The first one would be a middling comic book movie entry nowadays. It got the whole ball rolling simply because, for the first time in 11 years, a comic book movie didn’t outright suck.

  • There is alot of walking and talking, sitting and talking, shot, reverse shot, draaaaagging out build ups, acting straight out of a soap opera, overtly bad bad-guys, no one to cheer for but a useless midget pig, well tits of course(I got a lovely pair at home, don’t need yours Mrs. Headey, sorry) and Arya’s story is to predictable for me to care about.

    I’ve seen enough revenge-fetish movies to last me a life time. It’s my least favorite genre. It’s also my biggest gripe with GoT because it’s a constant heart-jerker. It works sometimes. The Gladiator is a basic revenge-porn-violent-fetish movie but it has style, scope, weight and a Hans Zimmer soundtrack. I’ve had it with GoT. I’m not watching it.

    Final Score 3/10

  • Imperial_orb

    So… what you’re trying to say is, that you want that CGI wheel chair Picard back, do I understand this correctly?

  • Imperial_orb

    ♫We’re in the youtube money
    Come on, my honey
    Let’s spend it, lend it,
    Send it rolling around! ♫

  • Imperial_orb

    Haha, you should never end such a long text with whatever Matthew. What will people think!

  • Ogrot

    I’m sure Jay felt great after his joke elicited a token pity laugh from Mike. I love how they purposefully leave in awkward moments.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Did you think I was talking about X-Man?

  • Imperial_orb

    Oh yeah, it’s so dense; every single frame has so many polish Jews going on.

  • Imperial_orb

    We can call it; Paul Blart: Fat Mall Fuck.

  • Variant

    What’s he bitching about anyway, no one made him a mutant. I’d love if I had a power that allowed for adamantium to be poured around my skeleton.

  • Imperial_orb

    I love cell phone hacks of Olivia Munn sexting.

  • bleurgh

    I saw this movie. It was definitely a movie. It had another quicksilver scene. Much like the one from Days of Future Past, but this one was better because it was longer and had explosions and jokes. It also had some stupid and underdeveloped characters. The casting was generally pretty strong. There isn’t really a bad actor in the movie, except for maybe the dude who played the angel and the guy who dies. The writing is really really terrible with the occasional redeeming idea here and there e.g. Magnetos arc, the mummy movie references, Jean and Cyclops meeting and bonding for the first time over the course of the film. There is a pointless crow-barred Wolverine cameo that serves the movie in no way and the CGI used to make Hugh Jackman look young has an uncanny valley thing going on, but I guess it’s kind of cool because he kills people, but also the movie probably would have been better served if it was cut out. It seemed like Apocalypse chose the first 4 mutants he came across which was probably what fucked him over in the end. Magneto and Storm were good choices, but the Angel and the Psyloke chick were fucking useless. Nightcrawler was redundant. Probably could have done without him to be honest. It’s a textbook mixed bag. I will say that I was more entertained by it than by Civil War, but mostly just because I’m getting sick of the MCU, not sick enough to think the DCU is anything other than a turdfest mind you, but still pretty fed up with it.

  • James Ridge

    Like so many movies, they endorse it grading on an extreme curve; one which dips well below my threshold for bothering with it. Movies are generally so bad now that they don’t even bother talking about the fact that no one will be quoting lines from it or humming its theme. When somebody’s review is basically just saying, “Well as far as cynical cash-grabs as vaporous as farts in the winds go, it’s worth seeing,” I stay home.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    *Fragnon

  • OMNI

    Mystique is the worst fuck-up of any character anywhere. She was a classy, rich, albeit blue mutant who rubbed shoulders with politicians. She was never naked, EVER, unless she was getting it on with whomever, and that was never shown in the comics.
    She’s also supposed to be the mother of Nightcrawler.

    *edit* Mysitque never had scales

  • OMNI

    I hope RLM doesn’t cancel HITB. The enjoyment of HITB depends on what movie they are reviewing.

  • bleurgh

    I liked the movie up until the point at which the old, frail and incredibly weak japanese guy that Logan decides revisit one last time before he dies SPOILERS dons a suit of robot samurai armour and starts beating the shit out of him. I mean, honestly, what the fucking fuck was that?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Loved how they dragged that bit about “what other movie was Rose Byrne in?”, not giving fans the one movie they wanted them to mention.

  • Rob Peterson

    Well no…you don’t HAVE to continue…but you can if you want…which I’m sure you do.

    But movies with the largest audiences are beside the point: the guys from RLM are obviously getting tired of superhero movies and their own audience seems to be getting tired of them reviewing superhero movies (fully one third of their content the past couple of years)…at the very least I’m tired of it…which is why I made my post. I still can’t understand why you made yours.

    Do I need to continue as to why I can voice my opinion on a crap genre of movie without someone telling me boxoffice numbers? Besides, are you really going to base your argument on how popular something is? I thought RLM fans were smarter than that, but I guess I was wrong.

  • Rob Peterson

    Last time I checked Alice In Wonderland wasn’t a superhero movie. And last time I checked I wasn’t complaining about the other movies they review…just the superhero movies.

    Please try to stay on topic.

  • Rob Peterson

    Then I submit that XMen Apackofshit should be reviewed with the other schlock…on Best Of The Worst. Clearly the newest XMen movie wasn’t intended to be hilarious…so it fits directly with the spirit of Best Of The Worst.

  • Rob Peterson

    Sadly…you’ve hit it right on the nose.

  • DudeWith GreatAdvice

    Oh I see, so you get it but you don’t.

    I wonder, do you think all this is done by them just to provide you with free content, just so they can listen to you whine or care about what you really think?

    I don’t give a fuck about super hero movies either, but so what? I enjoy Half in the Bag, even if they talk about movies I don’t care about. If they are getting larger views on the Interwebz, that means more money for them. Right? So that is why they do it. Now enjoy your free YouTube video and quit being a whiner. Or just don’t watch the videos you don’t like.

    Gee, how hard was that?

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    Its a shame that Mike and Jay didn’t grow up reading superhero comics, because then they would know when the movies get the characters right, and when they don’t. (Hint: Marvel Films gets them right and no one else does, with Deadpool a lone exception.) As it is, they say stuff like “Wolverine would do this” and “Captain America wouldn’t do that” and they have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s a shame people still treat superhero comic books seriously.

  • Variant

    Is it me or would Mike have made a great comic book fan when he was younger? He seems to taken by all the schlocky parts of them, it’s like watching him transform into a 12 year old temporarily.

  • Variant

    You know what would be great? If after Quicksilver was done moving everybody he zaps back into normal time and realizes that he just killed every single person he knows with whiplash. Because that’s what would happen. That’s why I can’t stand that Flash show. “Oh I’m gonna save you from a burning fire” more like YOU JUST CUT EVERYBODY IN HALF

  • Variant

    Paul Blarp Fart Blarp

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Same thing with Patrick Stewart. “What was he in… oh yeah, Lifeforce!”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I will agree with this. A sane person doesn’t take superheroes seriously. When you try to take superhero seriously you get movies like Singer’s X-Men or Nolan’s Batman. Movies that are not without merits (even if I’m not a fan), but not exactly superhero movies.

  • Flash, apparently, has time travel powers and not the ability to move really fast. That’s what I heard. I don’t really care.

  • And if they do…
    they should…
    GET A LIFE!
    *Jay points at the screen and start laughing loudly*
    GET A LIFE!
    *Jay laughs some more while Jack looks confused*

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Get a Life!

  • OMNI

    I think all superhero movies should be animated

  • junkevil

    Yeah, that film was a gas.

  • WHAT KILLED THE DINOSAURS?

    -BREEN’S BALLSACK!

    #ALL-OF-IT

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    It is a shame. I should stop thinking about superhero comic books and devote my life to making the world a better place, like you have. I mean, I assume you have, because otherwise you’re just another cunt on the internet. I don’t want to think that of you.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    Well, there actually are a lot of animated superhero movies. They pretty much all suck. Are you suggesting we should only watch the sucky animated superhero movies, or that shitty live-action superhero movies would have been less shitty if they were animated? I’m curious which you actually mean, even though either way you’re kind of an idiot.

  • lucid_flux

    Actually might be kind of fun seeing them have to endure in Wonderland, but knowing Mike he would end up liking it.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Well Re:View is set to replace it, so I guess our hopes are dashed.

  • James Ridge

    If you have to know anything about the comic books for these to be good movies, then they are, by definition, shitty movies. Comic book wanks who go into these things with little checkboxes to make sure they got everything “right” or slavishly adhered to the material are half the reason these films are largely disposable suck fests.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Comics are schlock. It’s okay to embrace this. It’s what makes them fun.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Being faithful to the source material doesn’t matter much if that source material is trash. ryan reynolds got deadpool right? great so what? no one outside of comic books nerds will ever consider that movie to have any real merit. it still is a character aimed for teenage boys stuck in adolescence.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “All the schlocky parts of them” I think this is what people forget. There are ONLY schlocky parts of them.

    And that’s why I love them. It’s when writers, artists, directors and such try to contort them into something else that they begin to suck balls.

  • Chowderbatter

    # of X-treme hair makeovers by combat: 27

  • Chowderbatter

    I mean for fuck’s sake, Bryan Singer, we do NOT care how Wolverine got his spiky doo (helmet head), how Ororo’s hair “turned” white (the caress of Oscar), how Mystique’s rad 80s perm must yield to the orange-red whatever of her “truer” nature, how Xavier went bald.

    If Singer directed Batman V. Superman, then we’d see an extended scene of Superman’s little curly Q bang thingy being forged under the assault of Batman’s krypto-weapons. Or how Lex Luthor went bald… oh, wait. Zack Snyder did that too.

    Do they grow these asshole directors in a vat in the Amazon?

  • Chowderbatter

    Hope Fox and Disney do an Avengers/X-Men crossover so we can learn how Tony Stark got his fucking goatee!

  • Chowderbatter

    What about Super Carpenter who changes water into wine and walks on water?

  • Chowderbatter

    I was shocked — SHOCKED I tell you — to see a nerd gain super powers and confront a bully in high school.

    Way to surprise and delight, Bryan Singer.

  • Chowderbatter

    Movies like this are why people watch cammed torrents.

  • tOmy`

    The problem is that finding the right balance proves to be problematic. Nolan’s Batman was quite close to finding it, exploring some other issues and commentaries along the punchy-punchy route of CBMs, but he didn’t quite nail it.

    Daredevil and Jessica Jones shows were also pretty close in combining some deeper thoughts / concepts into the punchy-punchy mix, but they also did fall on their nose more than often.

    And quite honestly, I had the same problem when I was reading (well, attempted to read) the original Civil War. There is this court hearing with Iron Man and Spiderman that I found pretty interesting. Would make for an above-average drama, I guess. But then, in the same issue, Spidey has to fight giant Soviet robot.

    *cough cough*

    Now imagine someone would use this issue as a part of the movie or based an entire movie revolving around this particular issue. Striking a balance would be… quite problematic.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Did I miss the pedo jokes or were they not there to start with? The lack of booze or implied alcoholism is also disturbing. I can’t help butt think we’d get the ribald and raucous reviews they’re known for if they hit the bottle again, as implied by the shows title.

  • OMNI

    Mike said explicitly that re:View was NOT going to replace any shows.

  • OMNI

    Just stating my opinion,..Shmuck..

  • junkevil

    he didn’t actually confront the bully, he just didn’t have control of his powers. Also, he wasn’t really a nerd, when his eyes started having issues in the classroom the teacher was very clearly not a fan of his previous antics and told him to go to the principals office for asking to use the restroom.

    I’m guessing you didn’t actually watch the film, huh?

  • OMNI

    He was also in Dune, too bad we never saw him in anything else..

  • junkevil

    Yeah, but Singer directed the best live action Superman movie we’ve seen since the Donner films. Maybe you were a big man of steel fan or something.

  • Chowderbatter

    Sadly, I watched it.

  • Chowderbatter

    Best Superman movie = best roadkill forced to eat at gunpoint.

  • Imperial_orb

    they…
    are…
    sobering up Mike to do the Voice-Over FOR THE NEW PLINKETT REVIEW!!!

  • OMNI

    Plinkett is Mike, but trashed. Mike needs copious amounts of alcohol to get into character, he needs pills too, lots of em’…

  • junkevil

    I hope you’re not trying to imply that the 1980s David Lynch Dune was schlock. So what if the Sardaukar were wearing black trashbags instead of proper costumes? you leave that movie out of this.

  • Imperial_orb

    When?

  • Imperial_orb

    Maybe he was talking about his Wife in some sense.
    Jackman, I mean.

  • Imperial_orb

    Yeah… totally!

  • Chowderbatter

    Peter’s dinklage is named “Dieter Pinklage.”

  • OMNI

    Right at the beginning of re:View in the first 5 minutes.

  • junkevil

    That’s more or less accurate. It’s called the speed force, not that you care. It also allows speedsters in the DCU to heal faster, have a really high metabolic rate, and even age slower.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I see that hepatitis has finally killed off the majority of RLM’s commentariat, since there aren’t 7000 comments on this video already.

  • Rob Peterson

    lol…I did still watch it. It wasn’t hard at all.

    The point you seem to be completely ignoring is that I might not watch the next superhero review. And then how’d they get their money from me?

    I think you need to realize that fans of something “given for free” are still entitled to their opinion on “free content”. It doesn’t make me a whiner for pointing it out, but it does make you a whiner for complaining about me pointing it out.

    Give your head a shake, fanboy.

  • Variant

    oh I forgot about that. Now I feel like a big dick

  • Variant

    Well yes – and no. I always found comic books weird. For example I just obtained a large digital collection of venom comics. Great stuff. However in between all the greatness I always notice those little comic bookey things that are normal for comics – but take me out of it a little bit and maybe is why as a kid I didn’t use my allowance to binge on them. Like when something happens and even though it was visually illustrated they still need their minor and major characters to narrate everything that happens as if someone didn’t draw it. “Holy cow! That thing just happened! I’m losing control of my … car!!!!” *CRASH* Think I could have inferred the obvious, but I sometimes feel like all the filler in comic books it to pander to the youngest of audiences in order to make sure they could follow along. Or even Spiderman when fighting a villain, it’s one thing for him to be doing quips, but then he jumps out of the way of an energy blast and he has to go “Whoa!!! I just barely made it out of the way of that energy blast!” I know! I get it!!

  • Variant

    No, no. He moves so fast THAT he has the ability to time travel. You know, it’s that thing people say where if you could go faster than light you could potentially travel backward through time or something like that.

  • OMNI

    Most of the more “prolific” commenters have been gagged effectively. They’re still here, disgruntled, waiting…
    I do find it interesting that the removal of links basically stopped the flow of posting.
    Unfortunately the hostility is still here, but hey it’s the INTERWEBZ, every troll gets a bridge in cyberspace.
    I post a lot but I have some downtime in my profession so I view this site as a fun distraction and I miss the ability to post links, and I generally miss the mayhem that was the RLM comment section, but alas RLM put the hammer down.

  • OMNI

    Grag-Gnar!!!

  • LameSame

    Live faster, age slower? I’m going to give this a try!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    So it’s replacing all of them and not just Half in the Bag? Wow, they’re really going all in on Re:View.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    If you grew up when I did, comics were littered with writers that did that.

    Chris Claremont recently came back to write a Nightcrawler comic. You should check it out. It’s a trip down memory lane in terms of overexplaining everything and narrating action sequences.

  • Palpatine

    Oh, so it was hepatitis that killed me. And here I thought it was AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The cancer infested snakes haven’t gotten me yet.

  • Joe Syxpac

    So unless I miss my guess, this movie is about which bathroom ex-men can go into?

    How topical.

  • Joe333

    Olivia Munn has two heaping handfuls of screen presence.
    Why would you want her to talk more?

  • fred

    If you plan on watching Apocalypse Now — I suggest the original 1979 version. (Francis For Coppola thought it sucked for some reason but I think it’s more fluid than the redux)

  • fred

    Target has legalized……RAAAAAPE !!!!!!

  • fred

    Have you considered that it might be lupus?

  • OMNI

    f**k off 🙂

  • fred

    A beautiful — perfect ballsack

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I always knew they’d dump Plinkett reviews for Gamestation.

  • Mischief

    Xavier wiped Moira MacTaggert’s mind at the end of “First Class” to prevent her knowledge of his new school from falling into CIA hands.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    So, grown adults are still paying money to see movies about people with superpowers punching each other? And we’re still supposed to pretend it’s deep because it’s a shallow metaphor for gay people? Yes, the apocalypse seems to be right on schedule.

  • SUPERMAD

    I want a non-CGI Picard in a Star Trek movie (or TV show) that doesn’t suck.

    Could the soul of TNG be resurrected?

  • tOmy`

    That’s like Green Day lyrics.

  • Archfriend

    The Redux has much better Marlon Brando but a more boring boat ride.

  • Archfriend

    Next Re:View should be Wolverine: Origins.

  • cucadandi

    This review (as any review) could’ve benefited from more 9/11 jokes. I mean is it not obvious that Apocalypse and his plan to cleanse the entire world is a metaphor for ISIS and their goal of establishing a world wide khalifat?

    Get it together, hacks!

  • Captain Hackfraud

    He was also in Moby Dick, a movie inspired by the American classic “After Earth”. But that’s about it, I think.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    DIckhead. I didn’t say I wish Mike and Jay read the comics so they can understand the movie. These characters have existed since before we were born, and there’s a reason for their longevity. Getting the character right is what makes or breaks an adaptation, whether it’s a comic or a novel or even a TV show – Mike himself made the point that the Picard in the movies isn’t the Picard from the TV show, which helped make the movies suck. Stop responding to things people say on the internet, because you’re one of those point-missing people. Spend that time getting the special help you need to understand a simple fucking point, you pinheaded cunt.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Didn’t they talk about it in Half In The Bag 59?

  • OMNI

    Too bad he never got into television, seems like he would do well in that medium..

  • OMNI

    If Apocalypse says “New World Order” or “New Order” or “New World” than one pretty much knows who is behind the production and story,…or does one?

  • OMNI

    Saw Deadpool last night and that is the perfect comicbook movie. Aside from the crudeness and violence its the best technique to do a comic flic, goofy and intense at the same time. The movie had some tonal shift but it works in comics. If only all of the X-Men movies were like Deadpool……

  • Paulus Decimus Meridius

    Another X-Men movie…fart*

    I’d rather watch Resident Evil 6 at this point. At least they didn’t review Warcraft.

  • OMNI

    I kind of want them to review Warcraft.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    When will they come up with a progressive male superhero who goes through a gender switch and then becomes an X-Man?

  • cucadandi

    I don’t know when that’ll happen but I know that casting Jamie Clayton in the post-op role would result in tons of awkward boners. And I mean that in the best way possible.

  • OMNI

    So I had a dream that Max Landis and I were throwing a huge party in my new expansive apartment/condo. In the dream suddenly Max becomes sort of like the Cat in the Hat as he invited every freak that he knows. So the dream becomes a quasi-nightmare where event though the party is in full swing I can’t seem to find the girl I like or score any beer or liquor or and other party favors and the place is getting trashed beyond repair. Max and everyone else is in the zone, but alas poor OMNI can’t seem to get high or score with the girl I met.
    Max keeps looking at me like “Aren’t you having the BEST time?” “Aren’t you just loving this party”.
    In my dream Max Landis, the friend who is not a friend.

  • Palpatine

    I would rather have Freddy Krueger be my dreams than Max Landis. No offense if you like Max Landis.

  • fred

    — WHY didn’t he leave all the Brando in the film and just keep it the same!?

  • Joe333

    I think Singer decided to back off the lgbt advocacy a bit since the whole pedophilia stuff.

  • Did Macaulay Culkin set traps, maybe? He could be behind your party misfortunes. 87% probability according to my BatComputer. And, why are you dreaming of Max Landis?

  • Where is the Titanic Plinkett review?

  • Paulus Decimus Meridius

    Me too, but I’m afraid they will like it.

  • OMNI

    Yes. Macaulay Culkin was there. It was a fascinating dream, but I eventually woke up gasping for air. I would like to meet Max now after that dream. I’ve had similar dreams with Jack Black in them as well..

  • OMNI

    Max was like a cross between The Cat in the Hat and the Joker.

  • OMNI

    Has it disappeared?

  • cucadandi

    I’m still waiting for the Plinkett review of 9/11. I would really love to get his take on it.

  • Yes. And Babys Day Out also.

  • OMNI

    🙁

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I could see Cameron and crew getting all take-downy over Titanic but… Baby’s Day Out? Bocks Officer Odo says BDO made $16 million on a $48 million dollar budget, wouldn’t exposure only help it at this point?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Thanks Obama.

  • OMNI

    You mean an X-Person, or X-Being or an X-Individual, or a Particular Individual…

  • RLMkeepitup

    but how fast will the force awakens one be taken down?

  • Ogrot

    doncha mean Macau-cau?

  • RLMkeepitup

    I probably wouldn’t even watch it for free.

  • Jerome Gorden

    He also split human history in half. It’s been 2016 years since Jesus was born. Not bad for a simple Jewish carpenter.

  • JimBob

    Thanks Dr. House.

  • JimBob

    #becausespeedforce

  • JimBob

    Animated in which sense?

  • JimBob

    It would have to be on cable, because everyone’s clothes would fall off.

  • JimBob

    I thought the guy who played Stryker was better than the new one.

  • JimBob

    Magneto, at least in the movies, is just looking to establish mutants as the species in charge as the only viable route to peaceful coexistence. I don’t recall genocide being on the table. He had that whole Holocaust thing in his childhood.

  • JimBob

    BOTW isn’t schlock, it’s garbage.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Calm down.

  • OMNI

    Animated well, with 2D or 3D. It could be hyper realistic but comics are abstract in a way so in my opinion comic book movies should emulate that art form without trying to “make it real”

  • OMNI

    Mah-CooCoo!!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I was going to show that to a friend tomorrow.

    Rats.

    Huey Lewis & the News instead, then.

  • Variant

    HIT THE GAS

  • Variant

    the magic gas

  • Thanatos2k

    It was a little event you might remember. You know….THE KENNEDY ASSASSINATION

    Geez you stupid people need to learn your history

  • Thanatos2k

    You could call her XX-Man.

  • Thanatos2k

    They’re not mutually exclusive.

  • Thanatos2k

    Jay has movie standards, but it’s clear Mike has none.

  • OMNI

    ??

  • Thanatos2k

    It’s why Batman TAS has still been better than any non-animated Batman movie that’s been made. In an animated medium you can make the character do anything and the right style is much more easily achieved.

  • Thanatos2k

    I think, like everyone else, they’ve already forgotten about that movie.

  • dangerdad

    It’s clear Mike & Jay just don’t like blockbuster movies, so they barely pay attention to what happens. They completely ignored scenes that explain motivation, etc. as to what was going on, made factual errors (like the value of the locket, etc.)

    If it’s not schlocky horror or dark drama, Jay doesn’t care about it. If it has a budget, Mike will kick it in the balls. It’s enjoyable to watch them rip a movie if the complaints are legit, but when they get the opening scene wrong, completely miss the emotional motivations for Magneto, etc. it’s just sad.

  • Thanatos2k

    Movie Mystique looks cool though. But movie Mystique being a central character for no reason FUCKING SUCKS

  • Joe Syxpac

    It Came? Is that tentacle porn?

  • bleurgh

    Is that who he was supposed to be? Yeah agreed, I don’t think Brian Cox has ever been bad in anything. It’s a shame they didn’t get to do another season of Deadwood. I would have liked to see more of him in that.

  • Carsten

    Or Ex-Man

  • Variant

    oh my god I just read all about Speedforce on wikipedia.. it’s like an 8 year old came up with this concept. “His speed is powered by… speed!!!!”

  • Spoiled Ants

    That’s just the japanese way of saying ‘thank you’. It’s weird I know, but once you get healing powers you get used to it.

  • Spoiled Ants

    If anybody wants to see an early Sneak Peek to what’s coming on ‘Fuck You It’s January’, you should check out the MONSTER TRUCKS Official Trailer (2017).
    I guess the animal sign for 2017 is schlock.

  • Earth

    “X-Man? What is that, some kinda transexual flick?”

  • Earth

    IT’S YOU! YOU’RE BEHIND IT ALL! BECAUSE PYRAMID AND EYE!

  • Spoiled Ants

    The closest movie I can think of right now, is Soul Man.

  • Earth

    Considering the bullshit they had to go through with filming I think it’s fair that we see everything they filmed.

  • Earth

    He has the best ballsack.

  • Earth

    Yeah…..no.

  • Joe333

    He’s going to challenge Michael Moore to a pie eating contest

  • Jerome Gorden

    The really funny things is that this could actually happen.

  • Dan

    A third of the half in the bags this year so far about super hero movies, I hope we can get that ratio down! 🙂

  • OMNI

    Here’s an Easter egg; I got my name from a magazine in the 70′-90’s…
    I actually roll my eye every time a villan says “New World Order”…so old so overdone.

  • JimBob

    Yeah, it’s best not to ask any questions about comic book magic.

  • OMNI

    I hope they review “It Came” soon.

  • OMNI

    I say bring back quick cuts with all of the crew taking turns chiming in in a 10 minute format, that way they can review more movies and spotlight certain ones for HITB and re:View.

  • Palpatine

    You mine as well rename it The RLM Comic Book Movie Review Show.

  • fred

    He has the best ballsack because HE IS the best. All must know this of the Breen to come to him.

  • fred

    Interesting point

  • Variant

    Yeah I don’t really see any reason why Jay and Mike need to stay confined to what comes out each year, that’s why I like the idea of re:View though. I’m hoping maybe they’ll expand that series to movies of recent years that they missed – but I expect it’s probably mostly gonna be classics from a previous era. Anything is possible though. I find myself agreeing with a lot of Jay’s taste in movies especially when it comes to atmosphere and music, and I know I’ve seen a few movies I am convinced Jay would have tracked down and enjoyed by now, but perhaps they haven’t gone over them because the year is past and there’s not really a determinant place for them to talk about it.

  • fred

    1st time watching Drive: ehh it’s boring — and a little too violent
    2nd time – post HITB review : Oh

  • Imperial_orb

    Amen.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    The next Re:View will cover another movie Mike considers perfect – X-Men: Apocalypse.

  • Ren1

    So…many…superhero…moopies

  • Hank_Henshaw

    With at least 2 more to come!

  • Joe Syxpac

    I’m guessing we can look forward to Gremlins, Back to the Future, and The Matrix in re:View.

    Basically anything they have mentioned in a Plinkett review that they haven’t touched on elsewhere.

  • Let’s hope it was the last one. Hold on, I’ll check. w.w.w.i.m.d.b.c.o.m …… oh no!

  • Matthew Edward Carter Isaac

    It’s clear you are not paying attention to their reviews, and are instead using them for a venting tool. That’s cool for you, but dont make such outrageous statements like “Mike an Jay don’t like blockbuster movies” even though they have demonstrated positive attitudes towards blockbuster films in the past. It sounds like you don’t really understand them…or more importantly don’t understand a real “story”…..a film that is well written and expertly structured, which X-Men Apocalypse is not….The fundamental problem with X-Men Apocalypse is that Apocalypse is given whatever power is necessary at the time. Oh he needs telaporation powers, that’s great; oh he needs mutant-enhancing powers, that’s great; oh he needs sheilding powers, telepathy and telekinsis….oh yeah that’s great..or…er that’s retarded. he is retarded. aka He’s not Apocalypse…

  • tOmy`

    Once FOX penises up to the level of Powerpuff Girls.

  • The Seinfeld series has aged with grace. I’m in season 7 after a month of “plowing” through it. It’s perfect.

    9/10

  • Spoiled Ants

    And not once did they put Rich Evans in a superhero-costume…..
    Not..ONCE

  • Rob Peterson

    WTF…when I mention that RLM’s review content is one-third superhero moopies I get a bunch of fanboys jumping down my throat telling me it’s because “superhero moopies are popular” or I’m told to “enjoy the free content”. And this “Dan” fellow (if that is his real name) gets a bunch of “yeahs”…even from one of the fanboys who jumped down my throat.

    I wish I was as popular as “Dan” on this webzone. I’m going to convince my mom to post here. 🙁

  • Bubs

    Come at him bro.

  • Rob Peterson

    I think your glasses are broken. Check your shopping cart. 🙂

  • cucadandi

    Surely you meant to say 9/11?

  • Rob Peterson

    Guys come on….you’re getting way off topic. We’re talking about explodin varmints.

  • Red Skeleton

    As a responsible voting adoptee of Britain I’ve been having a good long think about how I’m going to vote in the European referendum. I was feeling undecided, so I decided to make a list of all the positive and negative things Europe has given us:

    Positive things from Europe: The Final Countdown.
    Negative things form Europe: The Final Countdown.

    Needless to say, I’m still undecided.

  • junkevil

    Yeah, but Dan also gave them blowjobs.

  • Rob Peterson

    Along with AAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDSSSS!!!

  • OMNI

    Dan,…Is fucking awesome…Dude.

  • NicCagesHair

    Pull the trigger and flush that continent down the drain!!!!!

  • NicCagesHair

    So much content I haven’t watched. I feel like a depressed Santa Claus on the last day of Hanukkah.

  • OMNI

    Shalom…It’s Shabbat

  • fred

    Allah

  • Bryan Cranston is in Drive?

  • Rob Peterson

    Awesome at blowjobs? Yeah…I’ve heard.

  • Duckler

    What happened to 4k plus comments? Did I miss something?

  • OMNI

    OOOhhhhh!!!

  • OMNI

    Hey! Thaer’s five comments every 12 hours now!

  • Bubs

    We stopped getting revenue share for posting comments incessantly. So now there’s really no point… And I had over half a million RLM bucks saved up. I was going to buy a beer hat with that.

  • Dan

    Haha, but I put a smiley at the end, making it more passive aggressive 🙂

  • Mike Magnum

    Do we really have to devolve into this.

  • Mike Magnum

    Jay and Mike need to stop reviewing Comic Book Movies. Because it is clearly making some of you go insane. There is definitely a lot of pent up anger issues with some of you. Just saying.

  • Mike Magnum

    Sometimes i think Mike and Jay are too cynical for there own good.

  • Jack Smith

    So do you think there no Well Written Comics or Graphic Novels out there. You know like Alan Moore the Watchmen or V for Vendetta. Also theirs a lot more to comics then just Superheroes. For instance the the Autobiographical Comic “American Splendor” written by Harvey Pekar. Persepolis is a

    about a Muslim girl growing up in France. Maus that is pretty much about the Holocaust. But frankly there is a lot of well written Books in the Comics in the Superhero, Sci-Fi and Fantasy Genre. And Frankly there nothing wrong with Escapism.

  • fred

    Yeah he’s Shannon

  • RLMkeepitup

    alot of ‘splosions without interesting plot or characters is a pretty boring thing. Good trailer though, amirite boys! Still waiting for Mike to fall asleep in the theater.. maybe the 3 hr avatar II will be the one.

  • Michael Collins

    I fell asleep int the theater at Fury Road, first time in my life that’s ever happened.
    But it was great, everyone says so.

  • RLMkeepitup

    at least that one had interesting practical fx and humor. think that’s why i enjoyed hellboy and its sequel. gotta have some substance ya know

  • Rob Peterson

    My heart attack will have absolutely nothing to do with superhero movies…it’s all about the pizza rolls.

  • Rob Peterson

    But if they didn’t make superhero movies how would they convince people to keep buying Lycra?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I thought the graphic violence was justified. It’s a perfect movie: it appears to be style over substance but it’s actually an extremely compact package, where everything serves a purpose.

  • Otto T

    They cut from them having an important conversation with the main leads for a 30 second scene calling the third film of any trilogy the crap one (while in a third film in a trilogy) and then cut back into the scene they cut from.

  • fred

    Absolutely — then I was young and foolish

  • fred

    Military uniforms look so dorky — especially the Marines with those white hats and gloves.

  • fred

    That’s just the way it was when yo gran daddy was still kick’n

  • yrulaughing418

    The big tentpole superhero movies arrived earlier in the year than usual, I don’t really see what the issue is.

  • frankelee

    I hope Mike and Jay will do a video shitting on the new Ghostbusters remake, the original was the Citizen Kane of movies.

  • fucker

    no, the citizen kane of movies is… citizen kane.

  • OMNI

    You know what he means…

  • Thanatos2k

    Things got so much better.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Rich is on vacation, and its Sunday. I bring you all evidence of a higher power.

  • OMNI

    I heard from a rumor from a ghost that the Day of the Dead is playing at the Manhole….

  • CapedBaldy

    It wasn’t bad. Story wise it was just as good as Civil War, just the action set pieces and fights weren’t quite as good.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I think it’s fair to say Citizen Kane is in the “Ghostbusters-tier” of movies.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Farrah Fawcett, Kirk Douglas, and Harvey Keitel will be showing up in Saturn 3 in about 10 minutes so I hear…

  • fred

    Triangle Man is a real asshole — unless Person Man and Universe had it coming to them.

  • tOmy`

    So… seen any good new music lately?

  • Ogrot

    Particle Man deserved it in my opinion. Very low energy that Particle Man.

  • OMNI

    The new Grateful Dead cover album is really good.

  • fred

    Person man is a loser — I’m okay with person man we’re good friends

  • fred

    Run for the hills — run for your LiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiFE

    :I

  • fred

    There is one Breen and Rich is his prophet.

  • fred

    Citizen Kane is more like the Winnie the Pooh of live action films

  • RLMkeepitup

    a match made in heaven

  • fred

    X-men 1st Class claims to be about gay pride — but exploits its female characters for straight male sexual entertainment. boobs tits boobs tits boobs tits — if you’re gonna make a moopie with LGBT themes, have some more man-ass fucking would you?

    Piece a shit film. The CGI is garbage too.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Skipped this shit. Saw “Nice Guys” instead. Good fun. I’m a sucker for Shane Black because he likes Raymond Chandler and takes every opportunity to remind the audience of this.

    9/11, would Gosling again.

  • RLMkeepitup

    with a name like exmen i feel they missed a decent double entendre by ignoring the trans community. where the hell is beaverman

  • Chris Rech

    Iron Maiden rules….20 years ago……but they still RULE!!

  • Chris Rech

    Umm total nerd shit but to know this Apocolilpis guy go to YouTube and search him. There will be three channels that can give great research info. He is just trying to beat those Celestial guys that gave him armourzzz. Mike and Jay…real easy research.

  • Chris Rech

    Comic book shit is complicated…Plinkett rules more that Iron Maiden!!!!!

  • ToatalNOTandrew Thompson.

    Sooo. you killed you commentzone now your just posting hollow boring HitB’s? Licking blood!? HAHAHA thats your idea of a joke? No one wants a movie review from you hack frauds we want jokes. and this wasnt funny. Remember when you where funny?

  • C’mon review TMNT: Garbage Never Sleeps already. I’m all dressed up.

  • B A N N E D!!!!!!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    PSA: Popping in to point out that Len Kabasinski’s new film, “Hellcat’s Revenge” is seeking support on Indiegogo. Please consider pitching in to support the madness.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Turtles in a Half-in-the-Bag-shell.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Some people online are happy that Tom Holland is such a young Spiderman because they think that Marvel will be able to get a good decade’s worth out of material out of him.
    Christ… I like these movies more than some of the people here, but do we really need ANOTHER decade of this shit?
    I’m honestly getting kind of tired of this pattern–
    Relentless hype and speculation of a movie.
    Movie comes out. It’s okay.
    Relentless hype and speculation for next movie.
    I just think it kind of sucks that one “brand” is going to be holding a monopoly on all Summer blockbusters for the foreseeable future. Other people seem to WANT that and I just. Don’t. Get. It.

  • impfireball

    I was hoping for comedy apocalypse.

    “Perchance you can’t defeat me. Riiiiiiiiight noooow. I am rrrrrrrolling my rrrrsss….”

  • Mischief

    Oscar Isaac’s character looked like a wolverine-type mutant — super fast healing/regeneration (you may recall how they slit the stomach of his character and it healed immediately). Later when Raven attempted to kill Apocalypse by slitting his throat (disguised as Psylocke), he healed himself instantly as well.

    Don’t ask me how I remember all this after just one viewing… 😛

  • OMNI

    Look into my eye..It’s the same reason we have annual holidays, because there’s always a new generation to indoctrinate and the reality we are in would collapse if there wasn’t the same thing year after year to relate to intergenerationally. Same thing with our modern lore, Super Heroes, Fictional characters it’s all there to lead peoples minds in certain directions, got to herd the Nerfs somehow…

  • OMNI

    No thanks

  • OMNI

    I thought the first re:View was great. Why Mike shat all over the second one is beyond me. Self sabatoge?

  • OMNI

    Well I gather lesbians like the whole tit-boob thing…

  • fred

    Those lesbos like the tits — boobs?

  • OMNI

    They like the tits, the tits that go boobs!

  • fred

    I’ll speak with the marketing consultants about the titties. Do we need more titties fellas?

  • OMNI

    Fuck yes!

  • SamWongBal

    It’s kind of galling when Mike and Jay miss important plot points and then complain about how the movie doesn’t make sense without them
    “it would’ve made sense if he was gonna mind control everyone to worship him” yes Mike that is exactly what he said multiple times in the movie

  • Joe

    That is a damn good question, I fear you will only get in-joke answers that require you to be part of the community of hyper-commenters to understand though. I too am curious but am happy to have discussion more limited to the episodes and movies themselves.

  • Joe

    I still find it to be style over substance.

  • Joe

    As I understand it that moment was part of a much larger mall scene that was cut.

  • RetroArtist

    Mike, you are way off base with this one. This movie was so laughably bad. I am a big fan of the series (except Origins Wolverine and 3) but this one was a clunker. The plot was a big problem. What was the bad guy’s motivation? Oh, cleanse the world. How does he propose to do this? And what then? I could go on but I won’t. This movie was soooooooo bad. Civil War was vastly superior.

  • Sharpe

    I agree. I’m pretty burnt out on superhero movies now. Give me spy flicks, westerns, space marines, swashbucklers, ww2 adventure, historical epics…. something with people that are vulnerable and aren’t part of a franchise where the new movie is just another weekly episode of an ongoing saga that won’t take risks or has any edge to it.

  • Kevin Cooper

    I am not good at being a movie critic, I just wanna say, I love this crew; The Half in a bag reviews. For a couple of of young dudes and crew, they are at least “partial” and give nice reviews! Now to my point, you knew it was coming.

    I have no interest in this movie what so ever, is it worth watching, really? I play a lot of PC games and get my special effects there. I respect this crew just the fact they watch all this new stuff, this from a guy that rather watch some old shit, such as “The Caine Mutiny”, “Jaws”, and anything from Stanley Kubrick, Love Dr, Strange-love and How I learned to love the Bomb

  • Kevin Cooper

    I was burned out after the 1st few batman movies, the 1st Spider-man movie was the end for me.

  • Seth

    the movie was utter crap

  • tiff Christie

    Civil was far more engaging then this piece of crap.. The dispute and moral conflict between tony and steve was way deeper than this shallow, over the top turd.. I wasn’t invested in any of the characters in this movie I didn’t care about whatever “struggles” or beefs they had..The whole “end of the world” major fight scene felt disjointed. Like much of the Xmen movies you can’t get involved because you don’t actually see the fall back on the humans .. Like sure a few of the main characters and thrown in mutants are effected in someways . But when these cities are destroyed it’s as robotic as the cgi it was designed by .. The whole thing felt too generic to enjoy even as schlock… I honestly don’t see how Jay could find this more entertaining… After days of future past this was a grade down .. Even Magneto’s sudden plot felt forced and cliched .. We all knew something would happen to his family to make him take up being evil again. Or at least quasi evil/ puppet to Apocalypse .. It was so expected there was little emotional pay off when it did happen…..
    Civil war had heart in the center of it and a ethical/moral questions that make you really think.. You don’t just pick this or that because this side is right and the other is wrong.. They both have positive and negatives aspect so it’s way more deeper than just the good guys vs. the bad tripe …They also need to stop making Jennifer Lawerance ” Mystique” of these things … Seriously her story really isn’t that compelling and she was a side character to Eric at best .. I get that Jennifer Lawerence is an award winning actress, but here she’s not giving an award winning performance so knock that shit off

  • Xarkov

    The movie did what it needed to do. It entertained with enough character and story to stay engage throughout. Not every superhero movie has to be dark or light. They can also be gray and good.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Jay and Mike Explain the X-Men (Badly)

  • Pop Culture Reference

    And then we can dance to some apocalypso.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Beaverman should be played by Jim Beaver.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Especially when he lost his cane.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Whatever. I follow the One True Faith: Verdukianism.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    They tried that in the 1930s and it didn’t work.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    It’s the sequel to “Rules of the Game,” by Jean Renoir.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    But if the violence isn’t graphic, how do you know it is there?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    As played by Ron Perlman.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I imagine Rich in a Flash costume … for … um … personal reasons.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    : The Monica Lewinsky Story.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Max Landis is like a condom ad for John Landis.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    ISIS? Homophobic psycopathic theocrats who love guns? Aren’t those called Republicans?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Isn’t people with superpowers punching each other the history of Christianity before 1517?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Redux for additional story, Original Version for pacing.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Now I’m imagining Rich Evans as Colonel Walter P. Kurtz.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    When he starred in “Days of Future Pants.”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    David Lynch’s “Dune” is far superior to the original “Star Wars” trilogy.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Featuring songs by Smash Mouth and Limp Bizkit!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    These jokes are positively Breitbart-ian.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Blart Farts in Art’s Dart Mart

  • fred

    Not sure if that’s an attempt at humor — Cranston.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh, don’t get funny with me. You know what I mean.

  • X GONNA GIVE IT TO YA

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