Half in the Bag v Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

March 27, 20168,190 Comments

Mike and Jay meet “””Rich””” a new employee to Lightning Fast VCR Repair. They decide to see Batman V Superman and talk about it.


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • stryker1121

    HOLY shit I’m the first person to comment on RLM’s Super Bowl!

  • yellowface

    Who’s that Richard fellow? Did you get a new employee? He reminds me of someone. Something to do with pizzas… and AIDS.

  • Glyph Wright

    The review was more entertaining than the film. I’m hoping for a Plinkett review of BvS. It’s just the right type of entertainingly bad.

  • crymo

    Oh yes. I have been waiting all weekend for this to turn up. Now here it is at last. And I am ready. Pint of vod and coke. Twenty Marlboro. Box of Kleenex. Tube of body chocolate. Trousers round ankles. Press ‘Play’.

  • Imperial_orb

    I guess Dr. Fredric Wertham was right after all…

  • Carl

    Wow did this movie suck. Fuck Movies.

  • Imperial_orb

    congratulations! You won a video call on Skype. With me!

  • Will Drew

    Come on guys, they didn’t make this movie for the critics…………

  • Sully

    *FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP*

  • Sully

    Bought fackin’ time.

  • Mike Magnum

    Why is Perry White so insistent that he write an article about a Pee Wee Baseball Team. Is his kid on the team or is Perry White looking to score with some hot Soccer Moms.

  • castlemonster

    Rich is Risen!

  • Iván González

    finally

  • LadyKiller343

    Martha!

  • LadyKiller343

    Don’t forget your Peach Tea!

  • Earth

    DAWN OF AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS!

  • Imperial_orb

    Obama ran America into the fucking ground. I tell you something, if I were in charge, we would have a ceremonially comic book burning in every major city in the United States, right now.

  • 18th! LOL #YOLOSWAG

  • Earth

    Who can blame him? He’s put on weight since The Matrix movies.

  • While I enjoyed the movie, I didn’t disagree with you guys that much. I just dropped any ideas I’d had about Batman and Superman from my childhood before I went in. It’s much better that way. I think there’s no way around this being a movie set in 2016. It can’t be happy. All the stuff with the government and the press was pretty spot on. They’re either asleep at the wheel or making things worse, and they would do the same thing with superheroes if given the chance. That’s what I liked about it. But dour was the exact word to describe it. Little kids should just stay home. It’s just not that kind of superhero movie.

  • crymo

    Oooh, what’s that for? Sounds filthy!

  • Earth

    Goddammit, DC fans could appear at any moment, and it’s nearly 2am here.

    Stupid Milwaukeeans.

  • Domo

    You folks want some man milk? Finest milk in Wisconsin. I have some samples for you to choose from.

    http://i.imgur.com/4Ltbol4.jpg

  • Palpatine

    That motherfucker’s got some mighty man milk.

  • Sully

    Are they still wearing their pants?

  • Moo…

  • Earth

    He is the fly-over cow.

  • Whales

    TOP 30!!! YEAH SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Domo

    That costs extra. You should know how this works. You’ve been in the business long enough.

    http://www.foxhillcheesehouse.com/images/Foxhill-unhomogenized-milk.jpg

  • Palpatine

    I would love to see (or rather hear) the full length secret audio recording of Rich Evans laughing at Batman v. Superman.

  • First! I don’t care if I’m not. I’m always first in my heart.

  • Man, even the milk got lait.
    #foreveralone.

  • Sully

    Put it on an infinite streaming loop on youtube.

  • ashwilliams

    You anchor to much on “classic Superman” and “classic DC Universe”, and it’s weird because you acknowledge that “Reeves Superman” can’t exist today.
    That’s why you keep getting dissapointed, you did that too with Ghostbusters o TMNT (where you keep referencing the animateds shows or original movies like a point of reference) but that’s past and done. Quality is another topic, TMNT suck and Ghostbusters looks terrible but there are things that have to change and evolve. Superman has to be questioned in a “today movie” like will be real life, it cant be corny superman, just cant be, then you will complain that’s too inocent. Maybe cant be a modern Superman, maybe the carachter is just done, is from another time, but even if they fail, i think the path was correct

  • Domo

    So what do you guys think will show up on Bandcamp’s merchandise page first?

    That Lightning Fast VCR repair hat?
    A night in Rich Evans’ foxhole?
    Or a Superman IV: The Quest for Peace commentary track?

  • Geahk Burchill

    It’s so dense! Every single image has so much Turkish Airlines.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the second one will show up on craigslist. with a tag: “name your own price”

  • Wouldn’t qualify as an glorified reaction video/tape?

  • Geahk Burchill

    Dude, bro, your’ mom’s Martha too? We should totally be frieeeeeeends.

  • It would be like RiffTrax! Only more like Pre Rec.

  • Earth

    Janet!

  • They’ve been trolling my trolls all day! It’s like they’re everywhere! that I’m trolling……

  • Domo

    Followed by a sex tape entitled “I got laid twice! And you can, too!”

  • It’s so dense. Every single character has so little going on.

  • Palpatine

    All!

  • Shuddup, Kent!

  • Earth

    Trolls shouldn’t wander around. They should wait for unwitting victims to enter their cave.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ‘motivational tape

  • Domo

    That AOL chat screen. It’s a funnier character…

  • *sparse

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m gonna paraphrase what I read somewhere else. Superman should be DC’s Captain America. Not a pacifist, but a hero that embodies decency.

  • I’m having a Harvey Korman clicking flashback! I still have PTRLMSD from that marathon. 1234,123..tickataticktaticka “These men are paaawns”

  • That was Mike’s view of technology in a nutshell.

  • Imperial_orb

    Wait, what? That’s not the noise a pencil makes when you thrust it into your meatus.

  • Domo

    I could see a Junkie XL soundtrack featuring this composition remixed in some way during the WW/Batman texting sequence.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1UY7eDRXrs

  • Domo

    I liked your idea of the writer’s for the cartoon Justice League show just being the big honchos for the DCCU. Zack Snyder is just slowly bleeding them out without even realizing it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Shit, we already talked about it already

  • Suck what?????

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Record Rich watching that shitty looking Jungle Book movie next.

  • We’re waiting for DC fanboys to show up. It’s going to be like West Side Story ’round ‘ere!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Invasion of The Stoopid.

  • Sully

    Did you cum yet?

  • tOmy`

    You know, Finn, you look awfully surprised about learning that the Force is true, all of it, despite seeing Kylo Ren stopping a blast bolt yesterday.

    Who wrote this?!

  • tOmy`

    I am so sad we never used this in Europe.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    DC Fan here who liked the movie. Listen here, fanboys, if you can’t see the giant problems with this movie you have to talk to more people Or get laid. I’m Wizard Phoenix, I’ve gotten laid. You can too.

  • Sully

    Has someone posted the review in their comment’s section yet?

  • Yeah. Don’t worry, Wizard P, my non-stop two days of trolling should lead them right back here. Kind of like when you are fishing, what’s it called when you are trying to attract fish in a slowly moving boat? What’s it?

  • tOmy`

    Apparently the same person who came up with: “I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy.”

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Bubs

    When are you guys going to make the Rich Evans Secret Recording available for download? I want to know what it’s like to have my movie experience ruined enhanced by having Rich Evans laugh in my ear!

  • tOmy`

    Yes.

  • The Blunt A-blazes, dude!

  • I only have one thumb, but it’s yours. my friend.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Max Landis was a good Lex Luthor.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I don’t know. The general public, a majority of it ,might actually prefer this madness. This movie will be right on target with the amount of money WB was expecting it to make, and the critical failure will be interpreted as critics being out of touch with what the people want. See the Transformers movies for further reference.

  • Domo

    Does anyone have any thoughts on what Jesse Eisenberg was thinking during Gal Gadot’s “Strong, beautiful side of women… finally” statement?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGsrMaxx8N4&feature=youtu.be&t=31m12s

  • Imperial_orb

    I have the same Sony headphones as Rich in the Video. This model is getting marketed as a part of their DJ Headphones collection actually. Rich must have felt addressed, with sentences like…

    You love the club, it’s your second home. You need a set of DJ
    headphones to perfectly play back that sound and get the bass thumping.
    Comfort is paramount, as you spend most of your time listening to your
    favourite tracks and DJ mixes. These DJ headphones get you closer than ever to that dancefloor adrenaline. With accurate sound reproduction and audio separation, everytime you put them on is like stepping back in the club.

    …it’s that or the cheap price.

  • Sully

    I want to see that round head silhouetted against the screen all MST-style. I’ll pay, guys. Do you accept Republic Credits?

  • tOmy`

    “Not this shit again…”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Recruit more pimps, more pushers?

  • Bubs

    Republic Credits will do fine.

  • tOmy`

    That is such an odd marketing for DJ headphones.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Did the dial up modems sound different in Europe, or you just mean the AOL service?

  • tOmy`

    AOL.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I actually thought Batman and Wonder Woman where the sexiest-I mean the best part of the movie. I might ship them but I won’t because only people who need to get a life do that.

  • Imperial_orb

    My mom is called Gertrude. So anwnser my question regarding your bleeding!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No dey won’t.

  • Domo

    McKodem will have to do until MST comes along.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpdMRTS1NGc

  • Every time Mike answers the phone I get reminded of the amazing phone call from the Mad Max episode. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP-6ewtJcdk

  • RLMkeepitup

    I forgot about that one

  • dollar store cashier wife

    well he had this to say about attending comic con:

    “It is like being screamed at by thousands of people,” “I don’t know what the experience is throughout history, probably some kind of genocide.”

    the jokes write themselfs.

  • ‘Hey! Fucko!’ Brilliant.

  • RLMkeepitup

    My Dear

  • RLMkeepitup

    a Rich laugh track could improve the film

  • Domo

    Oh yeah! The Arbeit Macht Frei Comic Cons he attends are really tough on the senses.

  • Bubs

    He’s actually giving a better Lex Luthor performance here than he did in the movie.

  • Hey, leave Ausschwitz alone, lady!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Go back to middle east Watto!

    #Trump2016

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s never too late to start!

  • RLMkeepitup

    the boys are really milking that one stock image of the Plinkett house facade.

  • SenorApplesauce

    I’m pretty sure I would have rather gone to see “Murder Man versus Captain Hypocrite”.

  • Paul S.

    lol mike said “mommy”

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    Rich started the conversation on HIV/AAAAAIDDDSSS with his low key and effective advocacy.

  • Jegsimmons

    i actually like BvS and thought the only real issues were lighting (needed a gamma boost) and pacing which was because of shortening it to theatrical run.

  • RLMkeepitup

    any more radiation and batfleck would burst.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Plinkett v Screen Junkies?

  • Imperial_orb

    Wasn’t Mikes Wonder Woman shaming not like totally sexist guys? I mean, hello?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    sublime improv[gotta be.right?]

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I liked the movie too and YOU DIDN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH LEX LANDIS?!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Palpatine is gonna build a wall.

  • Bubs

    Your lack of appropriate punctuation and the use of a double negative has shattered my fragile psyche.

    …yes?

  • Godbot

    how much did Disney pay you you biased hack fraaaaaaaaaaauds!!!?!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Secret audio recording of Rich Evans watching Warcraft?

  • Imperial_orb

    Whatever.

  • Bubs

    I hope it works better than his trade blockade of Naboo. A bunch of retards and a cartoon rabbit had no trouble getting through that one.

  • tOmy`

    Are you implying that there is even a slight chance of the script being used in these videyas?

    lmaoooooo

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Rich doesn’t like RTS movies.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Script? You mean like what I text to people?

  • Jegsimmons

    lex was hilarious.

  • Sully

    The likenesses are uncanny.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Real Time Shit?

  • Bubs

    There’s so many layers to this joke.

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    .

    .Cancel Pre-Rec.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Here’s audio of Rich Evans watching Ghostbusters 2016! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4DX2DBWtTk

  • Sully

    I don’t think that movie could elicit that much emotion out of anyone.

  • Alex Lee

    At least Max Landis will go partially bald, unlike Eisenberg.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean a Paul Fieg film?

  • Imperial_orb

    Yes. And more Apes.

  • tOmy`

    I was thinking about making a joke like that and for the love of me I couldn’t figure out what the S part should be.

    That is just embarrassing.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    BUT BRUCE DO WE SEE CLARK KENT”S BALLSACK?!!

  • Eric Catfacts Rion

    “Murderman vs Captain Hypocrite.”

    Um, I’m sorry, don’t you mean “Murderman v Captain Hypocrite”?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Max Landis is already partially bald.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’d love to see more of wonder woman

  • Sully

    Gamma? No, you’re thinking of the Incredible Hulk. That’s a Marvel thing. Get yer shit together, man. You already sound like a crazy person with all that “I actually like BvS” talk.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Me too.

  • Sully

    More more, or screentime more? Because it matters.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Great job casting, Favreau. http://i.imgur.com/DNaNf1N.jpg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We see his ballsack! WE SEE HIS BALLSACK! He’s best he has the best ballsack! Oh my gawd!

  • Sully

    That’s the look of a kid who’s tired of blue mocap adults fucking with him.

  • Domo

    I really hope Superman and Black Baby Jesus join forces for a Good Friday/Easter holiday movie.

    A sexy little black girl is exactly what the DC universe needs.

  • Sully

    AND HOW MANY COMPUTERS DOES BRUCE HAVE IN HIS CAVE??!?!!

  • kingofmadcows

    On my world, DC means DCpointment.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There’s no kid actor or any actor who can sell anyone on them acting on a green screen for an entire fucking film.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    On mine it means cows. #RedLetterWeddings

  • Sully

    Maybe Haley Joel before he outgrew his face.

  • tOmy`

    Damage Control.

  • Sully

    1 second, you beat me by. 1!!!!!!1!!!!11

  • Eric Catfacts Rion

    Also, REALLY happy that someone else thought Doomsday looked like something out of Lord of the Rings. I thought his origin was cribbed from the Uruk Hai, and I’ll be damned if he didn’t look like a cave troll!

  • Sully

    Something about “sexy little black girl” doesn’t read right.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I really liked Gal Gadot in this movie. It’s the only movie I’ve seen her in only one movie and it’s this one.

  • Adzl33t

    Im a DC fan, and I despise this movie

    Also I disagree with DC not having cool villains, part of the fun of Paul Dini’s Justice League Unlimited was all the side characters

    If Paul Dini ran the franchise instead of Hack Synder, if would have been better

  • RLMkeepitup

    yeah the parts with superman getting heated, tossing passive aggressive threats, and walking off look hilarious in a so bad its good way

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Everyone made that joke already.

  • Mike Magnum

    Do you think Charlie Ross, Neil Degrasse Tyson, and Andrew Sullivan Regret Appearing in this movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He has many computers as he has batsuits!

  • Adzl33t

    They wasted Mercy Graves, now she can’t beat up Harley Quinn at the Suicide Squad movie like she did on that 90s animated movie

  • Sully

    That joke has been circling since the first trailer. There’s also the one about Abomination.

  • Imperial_orb

    Yo, yo, yo. Look at Susans in the middle there, I would tap that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s only excusable if you’re me and explain why.

  • Adzl33t

    Paul Dini wrote Superman pragmatically

    Also Superman vs Elite is a great deconstruction of edgy “heroes”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Oh, Look, Its HitB, That we all already commented about. so it did get posted.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t think anyone is running this franchise.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mercy Graves sucks as a character.

  • Sully

    Neil Degrasse’s just happy he’s still relevant.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    TETSUO!

  • Sully

    We’ll just have to copy and paste our comments from that page over to here.

  • tOmy`

    I’ll take the thirst thousand.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Now let’s shit on Jungle Book.

  • Adzl33t

    Zack Synder could have hired Bill Nye the Science Guy and Bill Gates, it would not made this movie any smarter

  • Domo

    But of course it does, because Mister Plinkett said it.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYND5fkqhT0&feature=youtu.be&t=39s

  • Sully

    I’ll supervise via interns.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’ll just sit here.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “The Death of Superman was interesting” The best joke in the entire video

  • Now that’s just a bare necessity.

  • Sully

    Hearing it feels less incriminating than writing it, hence the double quotations.

  • Sully

    But a simple one, nonetheless.

  • tOmy`
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Imagine that song with all CG characters with weird celebrity voices.

  • It’s gonna be grave.

  • Does batman make him bleed?

  • Sully
  • Adzl33t

    Zack Synder not only not understand Superman, he doesn’t understand heroism

    Which is why he’s doing an Ayn Rand movie, Superman seem unconcern with other people aside Lois and his mom, Henry Cavill looked has basically the same impression as me when I lost my wallet at the senate bombing.

    Ans some people called The Incredibles an objectivist superhero movie (how appropriate Mrs Incredibles was there at the senate)

    Ma Kent might as well said “with great power, comes personal responsibility to further capitalism”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They can’t change it or kill it. If they did they wouldn’t have have obviously do some last minute changes to Justice League before filming. You know why? Money.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    we can use the pages to wipe our arses!
    *Whispering
    Yes I know its a movie.
    *whispering
    Shut up you could wipe your arse with the promotional materials!
    ……… *whispering…..

  • Wizard Phoenix

    All the marketing has been “It’s all CG! Isn’t that amazing!?!”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We already talked about this in the last comment section. Now back to 911.

  • tOmy`

    You lost your wallet at the senate bombing? Watch out man, that’s how they track down terrorists.

    Well, sorta, usually it just flies down from a skyscraper to the FBI lap.

  • Adzl33t

    I disagree that DC has mostly lame characters, I’m a DC fan, though I barely read comics, but Paul Dini, Greg Weisman, and Glen Murakami, used DC characters very well with their animated shows.

    Also there’s a better to have a meta discussion of Superman, Superman vs The Elite was amazing

  • kingofmadcows

    To be fair, Eisenberg thought that the “Con” in Comic Con stood for “Concentration Camp.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Young Justice sucks balls. It deserved to be cancelled.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    As far as I’m concerned you are the marketing. I only know it exists because you keep talking about it…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s so dense.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Not only lame but outdated.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    But Degrassi Jr High keeps getting less relevant.

  • Adzl33t

    Greg Weisman is a friggen genius, also Netflix may produce another season

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That may be but still Young Justice sucks.

  • Sully

    STOP BEATING ME TO JOKES!!!

  • Adzl33t

    Young Justics and Justice League Unlimted updated DC characters

    Also George Newbren best Superman?

  • Palpatine

    It’ll be forgotten about in a week. There, I shat on it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats a girl?! I have been calling it a boy…. now I feel like a genderist.

  • Like Icare
  • Adzl33t

    Better than 52

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Young Justice didn’t have Scott Snyder.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Slut. sex offender, Sud sucking booze monkey?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    $2.25.

  • Like Icare

    He does get his superpowers to beat Superman from a rock…

    And he can become invisible.

  • Adzl33t

    But she had that cool arm canon on Young Justice :p

    To me she’s like Bob The Goon, a fun background character, which Zack screwed up by having her blow up

  • Sully

    DC has interesting villains, but their hero roster is chock full of corny, lame-ass motherfuckers. Matter-Eater Lad? Fucking really?

    http://cdn2-www.craveonline.com/assets/uploads/2013/05/mattereaterlad6581.jpg

  • Like Icare

    “I could be a stronger and more beautiful woman than that.”

  • Adzl33t

    Watch Young Justice, it’s grittier DC done better

  • Mike Magnum

    I don’t know. I think any character can be interesting depending on how well written it is and how you approach it. In general i really don’t find Wonder Woman to be interesting. But i think George Perez run on Wonder Woman was great. But he didn’t do wonder woman like she normally portrayed.

  • tOmy`

    Great, at least they can make another Space Cop.

  • Like Icare

    YUUUUGE crowds! Something like 6 million people!

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Fortunately it’s just his voice.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Written and Directed by Rich Evans.

  • Sully

    Is it animated?

  • Imperial_orb

    I can’t stop thinking of Max on his knees and Batman and Superman doing like a face-bukkake.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Is it wrong that I feel sorry for all women after seeing that?

  • Adzl33t

    Call me when there’s an animated adaptation of something he did

  • Sully

    My wife used to watch Degrassi. It took me a couple of years to reprogram her brain.

  • Adzl33t

    Yes

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    he would have been better than what we got.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Green screen?

  • Sully

    He didn’t need science, he needed a writer and someone who knows how to chop and slop a picture properly.

  • Adzl33t

    She’s meh to me, have her dub with Susan Eisenberg of Justice League, fhan maybe I would be interested

    Also maybe have Kevin Conroy dub every Batman movie

  • Sully

    We all accept and live with your low standards. I don’t think there’s room for another.

  • Adzl33t

    It could have been better if they just shave Clancy Brown for Lex Luthor, also just get Kevin Conroy to dub some stuntman for Batman

  • Sully

    Then… no.

  • Adzl33t

    I saw Max Landis summary…. that is why I mostly just watch animated production of DC than read those convoluted comics

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Who are the people by the train, Rich!?

  • Adzl33t

    Animation is not a genre, as said by Brad Bird, also animation is better for Superhero productions, no bloated movie productions with half ass celebrities

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    3 things.
    -You cant talk about how something has changed without talking about what it was.
    -Get a sense of humor.
    -and what are you saying? ” Superman has to be questioned in a “today movie” like will be real life,” these are words… but they make no sense!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    DCAU fanboys are here! I can’t think of a title!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Then your opinion is wrong. You need to be like Rich Evans.

  • Adzl33t

    Do kids give a crap about Bill Murray, do kids even pay attention to what celebrity is voicing in animated movies?

    This is why Paul Giamatti should not replace Kevin Michael Richardson during the Ratchet and Clank movie, though I’m grateful that there’s a manor animated movie with three leads done by professional voice actors and not lazy celebrities

  • Sully

    He’s too… brawler-looking. I’d of went with Edward Norton. He’s not old, he’s not young. I don’t know him personally, but he pulls off smart and intimidating on screen, and I could believe that he could outsmart Bats and Supes in a game of Super Chess.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Gamma is a computer thing. hey you look like me! but dead.

  • Palpatine

    Mr. Krabs as Lex Luthor. Sounds fitting enough.

  • Adzl33t

    So fire David Goyer and get Paul Dini?

    Paul Dini made be the one man that made me a DC fan

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Clancy Brown is now in Warcraft. Imagine him in a tight and weird looking spandex suit with balls all around him.

  • Sully

    No. I don’t want to do that.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I watched the original series in high school. I wouldnt watch it now though.

  • Mike Magnum

    Superman vs the Elites is a movie i would pay to see.

  • Adzl33t

    It’s too hard, confusing, and expensive to keep up with comics

    Like X Men don’t make sense to me in the Marvel Universe, like Fantastic Four gets a pass by the public but not the X Men

  • Sully

    Hire fucking Max Landis. Anyone’s better than Goyer at this point. People give Goyer too much credit for Nolan’s vision.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Just listen to the grace of Rich Evans or Max Landis

  • Sully

    I can’t get emotionally invested in a cartoon. I’ve tried. It doesn’t work… for me.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Except for hentai right?

  • Mike Magnum

    Actually i enjoy Goldenage Heroes. Especially the ones DC dosn’t own. Mainly because they seem like the Writers and Artist at the time just let there imaginations run wild.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Ma Kent was here!…. oh your talking about boring fucking comics… I’ll come back later.

  • Adzl33t

    While dressed as the Kurgan from the Highlander, that would be better than hipster Luthor

  • Sully

    Nope.

  • Omnis Odium

    6th highest grossing opening so far

  • Adzl33t

    Eh Max Landis is fine as a script editor, but I don’t think he done enough to show he’s that great of a writer, aside from a screenwriter tip book

  • Wizard Phoenix

    At least this film isn’t a product placement filled nostalgia driven, cynically made, illogical film lacking of substance or tries to do anything interesting with the material. Hey where did this Jurassic World poster come from? http://screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/jurassic-world-poster-mosasaurus.jpg

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    We need more DC fanboys to comment on the film. 3/4 of the DC fans seem to be raving psychotics, who just attack anyone around them for disliking this movie for perfectly valid reasons. Instead of saying “I like BvS for these subjective reasons” they say “Yeah? You’re a fuckin’ Marvel fanboi! Go suck Stan Lee’s dick, you should go hang yourself you fuckin’ homo, Marvel pays critics to give bad reviews of DC movies, it’s all a conspiracy. 9/11.”

  • Adzl33t

    How could you not cry during the Iron Giant, perhaps the best “Superman” movie

  • Hank_Henshaw

    If only Superman vs The Elite had better animation. Or at least character design that worked with the budget they have for those animated movies. The story (based on “What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice and The American Way?”) was one of the best recent Superman comics.

  • Imperial_orb

    Dumb Cunts

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But comics is boring and confuzing

  • Palpatine

    Still my guilty pleasure film of 2015.

  • Imperial_orb

    One can post Pictures??

  • Adzl33t

    Im a DC fanboy and “Batman V Superman” was one of the worst movies I watched at theaters

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I’ll allow it.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I don’t know about BvS, but MOS out-product-placed JW.

  • Seth

    Right? You’d think the ascendancy of Donald Trump would’ve driven the intellectuals and scientists into subterranean communities by now.

  • Like Icare

    Part time.

    They turn into links when you refresh/reload the comments.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Sorry got to agree with sully. never seen any american animation that was even interesting, let alone made me care.

  • Like Icare

    What? You don’t like pancakes now?

  • Adzl33t

    Dinites? Or Timmers?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Well, lucky I said “3/4 of DC fans” lol

    I mean, I love the Marvel universe more than DC, even tho I grew up on Batman: TAS, but damn, these DC movies are consistently a clusterfuck.

  • Palpatine

    At least the product placement in JW made sense seeing as how the film took place at a theme park.

  • Omnis Odium

    I think the DC characters can be a bit lame, especially some of the Silver Age characters (Crazy Quilt for example) but I think they have the more intriguing plot lines for the most part.

    Marvel on the other hand, I think I like the characters more over all, and I definitely think the greater universe is more interesting as a whole, but Marvel also takes a lot of risks, and they tend to be less mature/their plot lines are often simpler, so that means they’ve done a lot of stupid plot lines and cringe inducing stuff, lol, but at the same time, since they’re willing to take risks I think they also get some really cool spin offs.

    (I said DC had better plot lines for the most part, but the Doom spin-offs are my favorite stories, to me they are the epitome of good comic book writing; ‘Books of Doom’, ‘Secret Wars’, and ‘Dr. Strange and Dr. Doom’ in particular.)

    So yeah, my point is, I think DC has some lame characters, hell, even Superman is kind of lame, at least in some ways, but I like both DC and Marvel, just I think they are better in different ways.

  • Imperial_orb

    You’re a teacher?

  • Adzl33t

    Eh maybe if they made Supes’ chin smaller

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They’re tied. I don’t which is worse.

  • Seth

    It’s funny that it sucked in the most predictable ways imaginable.

    At least we’ll always have Watchmen. Right Zack?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It was still kinda offensive and in your face.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Like Icare

    Ah, negative. I am a meat popsicle.

  • Eric Catfacts Rion

    First I’ve heard it. I guess my fingers just haven’t been on the BvS pulse like the rest of the internet’s. My apologies!

  • Omnis Odium

    how dare you call Crazy Quilt outdated?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But you’ve never read the comics. #PantsonFire

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I hope I live long enough to see comic books and their movies retake their rightful place…. as the lowest, cheapest, crappiest form of entertainment there is.
    Comics are childish stupid shit stop pretending its fucking art!

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    Shots fired.

  • Seth

    Wow. The big companies are doing to comics what comic companies did to themselves in the 90’s. Give it 10 years, seriously. They’re going to make us all hate this crap.

  • Adzl33t

    I think Marvel gave DC a push for more interesting writing with their competition, so I’m not ranty fanboy on them… like I was when I was younger against Metallica……

    lf it wasn’t for ripping off Dave Mustaine, Metallica would have not been successful. Megadeth is a better band :p

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They should be childish.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Death of Superman is just the prologue of A World Without Superman (or Funeral for a Friend) which is much better, and for Reign of the Superman which is also more fun that Death of Superman. Death of Superman would’ve been so much more fun had Justice League been the “big guns” instead of Booster Gold, Guy Gardner, Fire, Ice, etc.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I would love to take my kid or my nephews to see a superhero movie…. oh, wait. they dont make heroes anymore, just angry murderers.

  • Adzl33t

    I read a handful of comics
    Most of Frank Miller Daredevil stuff
    Killing Joke
    Watchmen
    Ultimate Spiderman

    Though I’m pretty casual about them, the comic industry is slowing imploding itself with fanboy pandering, I think there should be more varied and personal stuff like Japan did…. before they also started to pander with fanboy schlock

  • Adzl33t

    Eh I could just rewatch that episode on Justice League with Superman’s Funeral

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    We need more apes, more pimps and pushers.

  • Adzl33t

    The term is Graphic novel :p

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I have a feeling that in Civil War I’m rooting Iron Man because Captain America these super humans have caused major fucking destruction around the world. And we the audience see this so why not agree with Iron Man?

  • Adzl33t

    Read Scott McCloud books

  • Adzl33t

    Best part of that comic, X Men not giving a crap

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You spelt ‘Pretentious’ wrong.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Ummmmmm… No.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s because Millar doesn’t care.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Alan Moore?

  • tOmy`

    Well, you already have the #TeamCap v #TeamTony thing going on, so fans seems to have different opinions on the subject matter.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I dont comic. they cost as much as a good book and I would rather read a good book.

  • Adzl33t

    I suggested Scott McCloud, because he discussed comics simply as artistic format with great artistic potential, movies were consider fluff back in the 1920s, than the talkies were considered not that great, than TV, and now video games

    There’s better stuff outside DC and Marvel

  • junkevil

    It’s not that they didn’t care it’s that they were given the option to opt out of it when Tony Stark went to Emma Frost, and they took it. I can’t think of why the mutants would be so against a registration act though.

  • Sully

    You can’t escape it, Andrew. You can never escape it. It’s like that movie, The Number 23. Your destiny has been determined, Andrew, and the only destination is madness.

    http://i.imgur.com/rxsrlqS.jpg

  • tOmy`

    That’s pretty harsh considering the amount of high-art, high-brow comic books out there.

  • Adzl33t

    Comic books is not a genre, it’s a format that any person can use to tell different subject matter outside superheroes

  • Adzl33t

    Xmen just don’t work that well in the Marvel Universe, as they get crap from other people but not to other superheroes…. I don’t understand that

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But it makes no sense for me to choose Cap because I don’t want people to be killed. Captain America would let Superman eat that bus of kids.

  • Sully

    No he would’t, but he also wouldn’t have stopped whipping Superman’s ass just because their mom’s shared names if he really thought Supes was a global threat.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I think they should be stupid and childish, I hate all this dark gritty ‘Real’ SuperMurderer movies. and Eisenberg… I fucking hate Eisenberg!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I like this new photo of Darkseid from Justice League http://cdn.idesignow.com/public_html/img/2012/02/wide-angle-photos-19.jpg

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its a format that totally disinterests me. you really need to understand. not everyone in this world will like the things you like. Live with it!

  • Adzl33t

    By your logic, movies are lame schlock because Adam Sandler made movies

    Your reasoning is faulty and overly hyperbolic, I strongly suggest read Scott McCloud’s Understanding comics

  • tOmy`

    So I just watched the trailer for Miracles From Heaven.

    Now I wish I could somehow unwatch the trailer for Miracles From Heaven.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CldGTG6iVrU

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Sully

    I made it till the acoustic guitar music kicked it.

  • Adzl33t

    Like some kids that are hesitatant to read books with no pictures?

  • tOmy`

    It’s kinda horrifying. In like a hilarious way.

  • Imperial_orb

    And afterwards he does a short summary with lots of tongue slips while speaking.

  • Palpatine

    What is with this sudden surge in Christian movies?

  • Like Icare

    They could be.

    They should be as good as their writers.
    E.g. You can’t knock Neil Gaiman cause motherfucker can write.
    To a certain extent same could be said about Alan Moore.
    Even Grant Morrison and Warren Ellis can at least write a fresh take on things.

    Problem with a lot of comics is that they are built on the stories written by people who could not sell their writing elsewhere as a book or a movie script – and who were then hired to write lowest denominator crap.
    Stuff literally aimed at illiterate children and retarded grown men.
    Toilet paper material.

    The other part of it is that the industry simply can’t afford good work.
    Cause no matter how good a writer someone is, writing rigidly commissioned stories (strictly defined characters, themes, locations, rules…) on a weekly deadline will nearly never produce high quality work.

    Which is why all the really good stories are limited series – not “events” and ongoing series.
    Same as with movies. Best ones don’t have roman numerals in the title.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    She uses her eyebrows a lot in her acting. I can see why Bruce left her.

  • Sully

    Weren’t the events of Age of Ultron a direct result of Iron Man’s bullshit?

  • Sully

    They fear people are trying to rid the world of Christianity, so they’re trying to expedite the situation.

  • Sully

    So you’re saying he needs to read books with pictures?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Money

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Someone posted this article earlier… if you’re over 18 scroll down to the comments.
    http://au.ign.com/articles/2016/03/27/batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice-has-huge-opening-weekend-worldwide
    And they thought our gifs were bad.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Everyone is an idiot in that movie.

  • tOmy`

    Well, we don’t know all of the Cap’s motivations, right? Seeing how MCU operates, they gonna shove in some motivations based on the movies prior to this one, as well as give him some more motivations so people who go into it “blind” can get it as well.

  • Palpatine

    “Make not my Father’s house a house of merchendise.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I can recognize porn stars. I need help.

  • Sully
  • RLMkeepitup

    talk about hi jacking a thread

  • Imperial_orb

    Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    RIP Andrew’s comment

  • Sully

    .. .-.. .. …- . .. -. -. -.-. .-.-.- – …. . -.– …. .- …- . ..- … — -. -.-. ..- .-. ..-. . .– …. . .-. . .-.-.- -.. — -. .—-. – -… . .-.. .. . …- . – …. . -. . .– … .-.-.- – …. .. -. –. … .- .-. . -. — – — -.- .- -.– …. . .-. . .-.-.- … . -. -.. …. . .-.. .–. .-.-.-

  • OMNI

    Yay! Happy Easter!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Not really, lots of smart people like comics… most people that hate books are just dumb.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    UUUUUUUUUM. still no. Cant you understand how little I care? is your world so small it cannot encompass someone not like you?

  • Like Icare

    Cheaper than dirt to make.
    Audience is gullible and biased as fuck. DC and Marvel fans don’t come close.

    But the secret ingredient is the existence of distribution networks with outlets on every fucking corner.
    Producers pre-sell those movies through church groups.

    It’s a form of extortion of the old and gullible.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Wait what!

  • Sully

    But he’s not Goyer, and that’s the point. Fuck. Here, Warner, I’ll write the next installment for free. Contact my agent. It took Goyer, Snyder, and Terrio 3 years to pull that turd out of their asses? I could solo a better script in a weekend.

  • Sully

    *hard

  • Sully

    Happy Eostre, friend.

  • MichaelKz

    The movie was pretty good, but I had some problems with the movie.

    1. The color desaturation. It was completely unnecessary. Darkness of subject matter doesn’t have to mean literal darkness.

    2. Batman’s motivations to fight Superman. Why is a Batman with twenty years of experience such a hot head? Why does he make assumptions about Superman instead of trying to learn about him? How dumb is he to think the bombing of the Capitol was Superman’s fault? Be a detective and stop raging.

    3. Doomsday. I had forgotten that Doomsday was in the movie. When Lex placed Zod’s body in that genesis pool, or whatever, I thought there was going to a Bizzaro Superman. I know next to nothing about the comic book Doomsday, but I’m pretty sure this one was inaccurate.

    4. Too much in one movie that just barely held together. But, it’s all out of the way.

    I think it would be smart to make any single character movies a bit lighter in tone. For example, don’t make a Flash movie grim. Another Superman, now that all of the mistrust is out of the way, should be fun, or at least an even toned action movie without any world shattering stakes. Just make a standalone Superman movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Pornman3.0 is the hero we deserve.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey, only I can like this movie! Stop being me!

  • Sully

    …but not the one we have right now. So we’ll jerk it, because we can take it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    He really puts our commentary in a different perspective.

  • I like that bad super broad in MoS, Faora I think her name was. I wish they didn’t get rid of her so quick. She was my fav in Superman II as well when she was Sarah Douglas. Lex Luthor is an all time great baddie, so I agree there. I am agreeing with the ‘he should be the joker’ thing about Eisenberg. I imagined Lex more in the cold intellectual way, but with an unnerving charm.

  • RLMkeepitup

    didn’t he die in the movie?.. or something. Aquaman!!

  • Like Icare

    No wonder Afflecks got divorced.

  • MichaelKz

    I don’t know, maybe. That guy’s costume was vague and I was confused. I saw red and blue on him and thought he was The Atom.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector.

  • Like Icare

    World is our oyster. Or so I’m told.

  • Sully

    *a silent voyeur, a watchful erector.

  • You won a visit from me. Give me your address and schedule and I’ll pop by with some ‘friends’ of mine and some ‘refreshments’.

  • MichaelKz

    I like it I like it I like it.

    Anyway, it is okay to not think the movie is good, but the hate spewed at Batman v Superman is unreasonable.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A dark cock.

  • Imperial_orb

    Did you know, that Rich Evans is able to trace back his ancestry to Ancient Rome, and
    even to famous Roman grammarian “Richus lapsus linguae”?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well of course it is. I see some people saying Batman and Robin is better.

  • Sam Sullivan

    Comics are like anything else, they can be shit or good. And, like everything else, they’re mostly shit. But the idea that there is some sort of hierarchy of entertainment is silly.

  • Sully
  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Why’s he cumming, dad?”

  • Skewed_View

    My favorite part of the making Doomsday scene was the computer saying “no, this is a forbidden, ancient deformity” (I guess Kryptonians mixed human blood with theirs for some reason in the past?), and Lex basically says “so what, proceed” and the computer is like, “ok.”
    Whoever wrote the Kryptonian Asimov laws fucked up.

  • Imperial_orb

    You’re like John Belushi’s Animal’s House.

  • That is the most wonderful, touching thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you, Imperial_orb. Happy Easter.

  • You mean AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYDDDS!

  • Imperial_orb

    Let us open our bibles or something…
    Mark 16:1-8
    Jesus Has Risen
    16 When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus’ body. 2 Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb 3 and they asked each other, “Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?”
    4 But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. 5 As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.
    6 “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. 7 But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’” 8 Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.

  • With references to the Chris Reeves ones and stuff. Oh baby. Don’t make me want that! Thanks a lot!

  • Sully

    “Close your eyes… and your mouth.”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I used to love superheros. Now thanks to movie studios and comic book fans I want to punch Stan Lee in his 1,000 year old face. death to movies!

  • Sully

    I don’t mind them as long as they’re done well, or are at least self-aware enough to know they’re schlock.

  • I’m only a guest

    Good review. But they’re wrong about one thing:

    It’s worse than MAN OF STEEL.

  • Palpatine

    Remember the days when kids would run around with a towel tied around their neck and wear their underwear on the outside of their pants? Those were the days.

  • Mike Magnum

    But dose everything have to be highbrow. I mean if one thing i hate. Its being reminded how much real life sucks. I have enough anxiety as it is. If i watch the news. I might just go insane.

  • OMNI

    The original Batman the movie with TVs Adam West was keen.

  • ashwilliams

    I write too quick, sorry

    Let me rephrase it, Superman, as a being, has to be questioned in movie that is set in the present, like he will be in real life. Maybe it doesnt have to be a central point of the story, but it has be addressed in some way.

    And i have a sense of humor, after years of following RLM, this have to be the first time i think they are seeing the things from the wrong or a mistaken point of view

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is BvS an example of a movie that knows it’s schlock? It’s hard to tell.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Earlier, it was estimated that a $166M domestic opening would be disappoonting. BvS opened just above that at 170m. But the news is all about the worldwide opening.

  • Skewed_View

    I think Man of Steel is the better movie. At least I can root for Superman in that one, he was a total jerk in this movie.
    Also, MoS has an easy to understand story with a beginning, middle and end (even though the end is a long drawn out fight). BvS is just stuff happening in an attempt to set up future movies, with barely a story holding it together.
    I do agree with you, though; that a Batman movie with this Batman could be cool, and I’m looking forward to Wonder Woman’s movie for now.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yes. this.

  • Sully
  • Amontillado

    The boys are back and better than ever! I don;t know what’s put the extra pep in their step, but it’s working!

  • SeekerLancer

    I like the interpretation that since the ship is 37% functional the computer is a brain damaged idiot.

    Probably like whoever edited this movie.

  • SeekerLancer

    Hollywood discovered they could make a ton of money from zero budget films. They tend to crop up a lot around Easter.

  • ForeverBuried

    I enjoyed the movie quite a bit but I thought this review was hilarious.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    One of my personal favorites!

  • ForeverBuried

    Agreed.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s better because it didn’t destroy me.

  • Seth

    Fantastic.

  • ForeverBuried

    All I remember in BvS is Jolly Ranchers. MOS however, good grief.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    wen alfred saez WOR

  • LameSame

    yOU WERE A BUILDING IN THAT FIGHT?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Release the Bats of WOOOOOOOOOOOR!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Is this another Hobbit movie?

  • SUBSCRIBED!

  • crinexocorum

    I definitely want to see an extended video of Mike, Rich and Jay going “yup, yup, yeah, ehh…”

  • Alex Lee

    I’d say make Dini the director. Yes, the writing is bad, but the editing and performances make it clear that the director is completely at fault. I’m not sure why DC decided to make Synder their version of Joss Wheedon.

  • eeeh

    Yes, yes, yes!!!!!

  • RLMkeepitup

    this is red letter media, not sex. close though!

  • eeeh

    They’re the same thing for all intents and purposes.

  • RolandSlinger

    Yes, it seems that was the Flash in Batman’s wacky dream. Nice guess, Rich Evans.

  • AND YOU LIKED IT. Your not a critics.

  • Available now on bandcamp: Perv at the cinema. Starring Richard Evans.

    http://41.media.tumblr.com/8206c928dd06d76f6e25f35a91c80172/tumblr_nig1s6MYSd1tag8xlo1_1280.jpg

  • “Sell it so I can make more money. Nah. Ok. 50/50. Sell it better next time”

  • Mr. Pedantic

    That didn’t look like Ezra Miller to me.

  • Michael Collins

    This was the funniest HitB in a while, thank god for this crap movie.

  • CM Chunk

    It was obviously not a dream and it was obviously a set up for a future film. That future looks like a possible future we’ll see again.

  • CM Chunk

    So, I heavily disagreed with them on Man of Steel and I heavily disagree with them on this film too. For a bunch of savvy filmmakers, it sometimes feels like parts of the film go right over their heads.

    Hey, Rich, that Flash sequence, wasn’t a dream.

  • Mr. Pedantic

    Charlie Rose. And no, they’re not entertainers per se so they have nothing to lose by being in a bad movie.

  • Kerk Crotchlickmeoff

    18:10 — so what you’re saying is that we didn’t need Nolan’s trilogy either, right? Cause that’s the only way I can interpret these words. And that’s bull of course. Escapism is not everything.

  • DC DC DC is all I hear, whatabout AC? Real voltage start at 200.

    #Lamos

  • MichaelKz

    It wasn’t a dream? I don’t believe that.

  • Michael Collins

    “All that we see or seem. Is but a dream within a dream.”

  • The difference is the substance I guess. It was a way to forward the story. Not overtly explain everthing to us “stupid people”. But I reacted to what Jay and Mike said to.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Rich is right about DC needing more apes. One is not enough:

    http://i.imgur.com/XT1meh9.gifv

  • bleurgh

    Nolans trilogy was still escapist in spite of it’s realistic and dark tone. Also I think a dark tone works better with Batman and that’s part of the reason people are being more generous to the batman components of this movie. Also I think that Nolans trilogy was becoming more absurd and pulpy by the time they got to The Dark Knight Rises and was hoping they would go in a very different direction with Man of Steel and the subsequent DC films. Instead they chose to double down on the darkness, making it unrelentingly grim, whilst throwing realism out the window and making everything dumber. Making the Batman story darker, more adult and realistic was an interesting stylistic choice and necessary after what happened to the series before, but when that tone is turned up to 11, done by a shittier film-maker an applied to a character who is supposed represent the the exact opposite of darkness it’s a recipe for disaster.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I agree, but I’m wondering what the ape to hero ratio would have to be to make the movies enjoyable.

    And how many apes would it take to make a DC version of Winter Soldier?

  • Chuck Afterburner

    I went in to a 3D screening and had to walk over to the 2D because whoever made this movie fake shakes the camera too fucking much, making my eyeballs straining to refocus. Well it was a miserable piece of shit movie written by idiots pretending to be smart, which wouldn’t have been bad, the homicidal re-imagining of the heroes and mass casualties if it wasn’t so fucking boring. A good movie scene needs a beginning middle and end, this was like watching jerky cuts to pieces of scenes randomly scattered around some action set pieces. Also the maudlin forced dark vibe came off as humorous in the way it resembled a shitty soap opera. Again I wouldn’t care if this movie was Superman laser decapitating popes if it weren’t so fucking stupid and boring.

  • Joe Syxpac

    You have to electrocute an elephant to get anyone to take you seriously.

  • Joe Syxpac

    The studio sent Zack a memo that they wanted it to have more “schlock”. Zack misread it as “shit”.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    #Edison was a dick.

  • Joe Syxpac

    They forgot their meds.

  • The murdering is interesting. Or as Snyder claims manslaughter. Oh please.

    It’s always the tone of the movie and the substance of the characters that decide weather we like the killings or not. I still think the 89 Batman is the most brilliant farcical adaptation of comicbook camp. Lets have a look.

    https://youtu.be/XbyGEKKlaKo?t=2m57s
    https://youtu.be/a1Tpe-dbPQI?t=20s

    Its dumb, campy and corny but Burton sold it.

    Fastforward and he made another where the killing is just off the charts. Burton went full Stamos on that one. I’m sure he did not care about the movie and didn’t want to make it. And OMG is it BS. But its also hilarious and Burton knows it. Its my favorite Batman movie because it’s Shumacher camp done right and anything goes. Its so twisted and disorted. And this is a comicbook on a movie. Lets have a look.

    https://youtu.be/TUFHuYMG-nw?t=1m29s
    https://youtu.be/TlbtLfWvFbo?t=1m16s

    Fastforward to 2013 and you get depressing themes about Gods and men 9/11 and nonsensical whatever moments with shoehorned in moments. This would work if it was done right. Make it campy and I’m aboard.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Jesus was the first superhero.

  • He was the early 20th century Steve Jobs.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Yep, he woulda kept beating him like Tony Stark in a tuna can.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    You know what they say about monkeys in a room with typewriters… they’ll work for pennies, but the smell is lousy.

  • Glad I skipped 3D I have not met anyone that enjoyed the experience.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    If you deliberately act outside the law and someone dies you can be charged with murder.
    If you fire missiles, deliberately ram cars and run people over then shoot people in the face….. Yep thats a murder. Yep, yeah, yeas, yeeeeeap.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    like I said… a dick.

  • Meeh meh yameeh

  • Ameila

    I will agree that a Reeves style Supes wouldn’t work today, but for the love of god WB let him be bright and cheery and likeable! He’s supposed to contrast batman like rich said. He’s supposed to be the one that takes the braver choice, the kinder choice, the better choice. And not because he can lord it over people, but because he’s that good of a person.

    And while I can see some news segments decrying superman (that could add nice world building like having Lex leading the anti superman campaign on twenty four hour news inbetween his business meetings)

    I mean, you can have a more grounded film, with stakes and world shattering consequences and still have well written, fun and likeable characters. Cap America is a great example of a Superman type done very well in a modern film. Winter Solder even had some modern day concerns used as themes. Cap is serious when he needs to be, but can be sarcastic, charming, nice, funny and witty during less tense moments. A movie needs that other wise it’s a slog.

    I hate what WB and Synder have done to superman and even batman. God. I can’t wait for someone with a brain to realized superman is supposed to be fun.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    In Nolan’s Batman movies good triumphs over evil and there’s a positive message. DC seems to have forgotten that tone is not everything.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Btw is winter comind downundah? We have a pleasent spring coming on. I was sweating like a manbeast in my winteralls yesturday.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was at the beach about an hour ago. Hopefully it will snow soon.

  • RolandSlinger

    I didn’t get a good enough look at him, but pretty much everyone’s saying it’s the Flash as though there isn’t even any doubt about it.

    The guy in Lex Luthor’s MP4 definitely looked like Ezra Miller, though.

  • Snyder knows what he is doing………………………………………………………………..
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    ,,,,,,,……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

    Maybe they’ll keep him off the anti depressives next movie. Maybe he gets therapy and we can join him as an even more “real” character. With alcohol and drug abuse.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    So if Batman kills people in this universe will they ever do a Red Hood movie? It seems pointless unless he stops brutally murdering bad guys.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Y’know, at that time people considered the ’89 Batman as “gritty”. Cuz compared to this…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNJhgfrp4Us

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If it’s in shot in IMAX see it in IMAX. Post converted movies suck.

  • He killed them. You psycho.
    https://youtu.be/bNJhgfrp4Us?t=1m48s

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You are literally the only country in the world that still uses ENGLISH imperial measurements. Your country is wrong.

  • My friend whom I went with wanted 3D. I was not backing down and got my way. The only movie I saw in 3D was ST: ID. I had eyestrain and a slight headache. It was really wierd having to go outside after that experience.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Don’t worry, they all get back up at the end and run off.

    Of course they all committed suicide backstage later.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I thought Superman was gonna melt or heat up the gun in the black guy’s hand in the beginning of the movie. Instead he crashes the guy through a fucking wall. In fact I know a why to make that montage scene of people betterer. Simply have him be welcoming and happy to save people but as soon as people start to touch him or pray to him have him feel uncomfortable or even scared. Start it off happy then make it question shit. But I have a feeling this will in the “Ultimate Cut” of the film along with Batgirl and an hour of needed stuff.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Was that 3D or the shitty writing?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re wrong because we are America. We have cheeseburgers! What do you have? Fosters?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Actually, no. It really gets 90 degrees Celsius in Gotham.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That happened in Batman and Robin after that Batman used that giant laser. Batman is the cause for global warming! Thanks, Schumacher, you mother fucker!

  • Joe Syxpac

    You can’t have a quarter pounder without pounds.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #EdisonIsKroc #BoomLikeThat

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Pulp Fiction reference is too obvious to make.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Give me that ol’ 113 gram with cheese.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Not to mention most of his bat gadgets deplete the ozone.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    It may be hard for your viewers to remember how difficult it was for people to talk about HIV/AAAAAAAAAIIIIIDSSSSSS a few hours ago. And because of Rich Evans, we started a national conversation when before, nobody would talk about it, nobody wanted to do anything about it, and, you know, that, too, is something that I really appreciate with his very effective, low-key advocacy, but it penetrated the public conscience.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It was the 90’s. Batteries sucked so Batman resorted to fossil fuels. This is canon.

  • The 3D I was still mezmerised by the Abrams effect. It wore off a week later. Now I hate JJ Trek.

  • Joe Syxpac

    FYI, man milk sells for 20 bucks a gallon.

  • Anciano1

    Murder Man vs Captain Hypocrite XD

  • FiachSidhe

    Man you guys had a lot of fun with this episode. Probably more fun than you had watching the film.

  • FiachSidhe

    As for the film, Snyder tried to cram a lot of separate storylines that would have had bigger impact later, into the intro film.

  • CoolFrancis

    Batman vs Superman: Dawn of don’t see this movie
    https://imgur.com/gallery/7tzw45a

  • I’m only a guest

    “A” for effort

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No, we dont sell fosters in australia. really you cant buy it here.

  • I’m only a guest

    MAN OF STEEL was less confusing, and more interesting.

  • Louise Michael

    I am getting a salary of 6900 dollars each week. Over a year ago I was in a horrible condition , jobless and no bank credit ..ru Thanks to one of my friends who showed me a way where I was able to gather myself and making average of 58 d/h. So it can change your life as it has changed mine. Why not try this.

    Look here for details
    azq..

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Recruit more pimps and wizards.

  • Tapeworm

    Overly serious tone AND being over the top dumb is what people have an issue with, to anyone whipping out their Nolan dick.

  • Tapeworm

    What is this, opposite day? Because if i is, I have a list of stuff I don’t want you to do to me.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    no, I won’t.

  • Tapeworm

    Also, you can’t do this to Marvel: DiCks

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    DiCks and Myarsehole. it doesn’t rhyme but its still like poetry.

  • Variant

    I like that idea. The more I think about it the more I’d like this kind of story (god-like man on earth) if it were done with more humanity.

  • Variant

    That’s funny I was gonna write a reply of similar construct but directed at you. Not everyone reads comics or sees movies to celebrate how they felt when they were 6 years old. I have nothing against that but to assume that is the basis for all movies and comics and how they are enjoyed is just silly.

  • Cobretti

    Savvy filmmakers? Are we talking about the same people? Have you seen the “films” they make?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I didnt say I wanted a movie like when I was six, what I meant was it would be nice if I could take a 6 year old to a fucking superman movie. not angry murderman v sad bat murdering idiot.

  • evil dollar store cashier wife

    Nnnnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhh.

  • evil dollar store cashier wife

    Hhhhrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnggggghhhhhhhh.

  • Evertale

    Okay, so here’s the thing: a number of Danish cinemas offer this *cough* movie in what is called a “level 7” presentation. It means that someone out there thought that the loudest, dumbest *cough* movie wasn’t exactly stupidly loud enough and thus offers to screen it at the maximum volume that the speakers of the cinemas in question allow.
    I know not, whether this is an international phenomenon (and by phenomenon I mean plague), but what I do know is that those “level 7” presentations now seem to have set the standard for my envisioning of my own personal hell.

  • evil dollar store cashier wife

    Hehe, Batman news! HEHE! Lyfe of Pablo! Yeeezy! Yoloswag! Wife lives matter!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Are you having trouble speaking through the ball gag?… I can loosen it…. if you clearly say yes.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I swag so much my swag is sore from all the swaging.

  • evil dollar store cashier wife

    Yrrreeerrergghpfpfppffffffffff.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Oh, Tighter… OK.

  • Evertale

    Dastardly Catastrophic (Comics).

  • Earth

    Hats off to you for somehow understanding what the hell is happening in the Marvel universe.

    Both Marvel and DC have incredibly lame characters, it’s just when you try to stamp “serious” and “realistic” and “dark” it really shines a light on how stupid it all is.

  • Earth

    At least Sully might watch it.

  • NicCagesHair

    Ketchup! Oh shit wrong chapter.

  • “BvS really was too big for little minds”

  • NicCagesHair

    Looks like bats has been reading, working a little Shakespeare into his one-liners.

  • tOmy`

    It also felt like it was a Gotham stuff happening to Gotham. Not real world terrorism seeping into cinema. That is why I had some problems with stomaching that Occupy Wallstreet vibe in the TDKR.

    Isn’t it fun that Daredevil and JJ can keep on mentioning “NYC skyscrapers falling down, debris falling from the sky” and you just know that these people ain’t talking about 9/11? How refreshing it is. Just like 9/11.

  • NicCagesHair

    And as a country that was founded on overthrowing monarchy we would have a major issue calling something so important a royale.

  • NicCagesHair

    Remember when Richard Pryor was the bad guy of a Superman film? Good times, good times.

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9f/Superman_III_poster.jpg

  • tOmy`

    Let’s talk about the more important stuff:

    THERE IS SPIDERMAN IN THE CIVIL WAR TRAILER!!!!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    But no Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter… Unsubscribe.

  • George Superman

    Desperate for Cash (Comics)

  • Earth

    Could you explain the reasoning behind that please? Apparently Snyder demanded it be like that for some reason and I’m too dumb to see the genius behind such a masterful directorial decision.

  • George Superman
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    no.

  • BCFC25

    Depressing Crap!

  • What happened to your face? And why sport a 1920s villain moustache when you can have a goatee like evil Spock?

  • Earth

    Oh god, I don’t care how great these next billion superhero movies are. I’m done.

    Seriously, I’m surprised Disney aren’t just siphoning off a percentage of everyone’s wallets now.

  • Earth

    Superhero movies without pretensions I remember those.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    “Level 7” sounds like a prison rank. Like you’re on level 8 for good behavior and then you punch a guy and get demoted to level 7 where they make you watch Zack Snyder films in solitary for a week.

  • tOmy`

    They basically are. They call it Star Wars.

  • BCFC25

    I see Batman V Superman is breaking the records at the box office which goes to show name recognition will always triumph at the box office just like another franchise about stars and a war in outer space that i cant recall the name off?

  • Or maybe it’s just morbid curiosity?

  • Man, Ben really took the movie’s reception poorly. https://i.imgflip.com/elddt.jpg

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    The Gungan king is undercover and Plinkett’s wife is evil. These are dark times.

  • Michael Shannon (General Zod) on BvS and who would win a fight is pure gold:

    “I’m so utterly unconcerned with the outcome of that fight. So
    profoundly, utterly unconcerned. I can’t even come up with a fake
    answer. I guess I have to root for Superman because he killed me, so I
    would hope that he would continue his killing spree and become like a
    serial killer Superman. That’s a new take on Superman. We’d all be in a
    heap of trouble if Superman was a serial killer. He could just wipe us
    all out. But then he’d be lonely.”

  • DO YOU BLEED?

  • Buck Fudder

    I had the good fortune of seeing this in a theater packed with children and their parents. I sat in front of one son/dad combo and they were very confused by what was happening.

    During the scene when Bats was chained up by his wrists in the desert, as soon as Superman lands the little boy’s like, “Yay! Superman’s here to help him!!!” His dad quickly says, “No… that’s Superman’s clone… I’ll explain later.” At other scenes I could hear the kid asking why Batman was killing all those people and his dad couldn’t give him a good answer. It was amazing commentary into a childhood lost.

  • Evertale

    Droopy Calamities

  • Evertale

    Just like in ‘nam!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    nope its just you dansk.

  • Joe

    “That’s a weird coicidence… RAAAGH!”
    lol

  • Good news, for once! They’re not making a new “Paranormal Activity” movie. They’re making a VR game instead…

    http://www.destructoid.com/paranormal-activity-made-me-yelp-in-a-gdc-crowd-and-then-sit-in-a-bathroom-for-fifteen-minutes-351143.phtml

  • tOmy`

    “Yay! Superman’s here to help him!!!”

    This made me genuinely sad.

  • moleman124

    Sigh… RLM boys, what are you doing!

    Re watch the movie and follow the characters plots and developments. The 3 main characters are fleshed out, with their motivations as all 3 play cat and mouse with each other (also remember this is a sequel too) . First 1.5 hours is most interesting as they take time to develop characters and is more of a psychological thriller during this portion, but the intelligence seems lost on you ( maybe cause all you want is a “fun” , one liner “witty” and big brightly coloured action marvel movie made for babies ) This movie is smarter than most super hero movies and yes set in real world with real character traits, which aren’t too hard to follow along if you’re a big boy.

    Only part which was confusing as fuck is the batman dream sequence in the desert with evil superman and then the flash giving him the warning, but this is a mystery piece which will be explained later. Rich found the explanation , but gave up on it. and that is that the warning comes from future flash who has time traveled to give the warning… which means the dream sequence PROB does happen, but in the future, the future of spaaaaaaace, but in the future( after batman bangs louse lane and explains why superman is emo and angry and hints at this in his dialogue during that scene). To average movie go’er this would be pretty “wtf?” but would get the payoff of explanation in the in obviously 1 of like what 10? future movies scheduled in this universe.

    Fuck I’m not even a DC fan or anything. but to see people who love the art of Cinema, rip a somewhat (not even the most) intelligent movie from ALL THE WRONG reasons… is disappointing. I have prob about 10 talking points of disagreements with their comments which would be nullified if they paid attention to the movie .. maybe if this comments gets enough lime light I’d take the time to flesh em out.

    But fuck man, if you’re going to review movies and critic them for a living. fucking actually watch the movie.

  • tOmy`

    Well, you better start fleshing them out, or you gonna face the angry Marvel shill mob!

  • Som

    I liked the film, I like the plot and that the story was pulled from two comics. I liked how Lex Luthor was clearly just insane, that was fun and I could understand Wonder Woman perfectly. Damn ye for pushing the stereotype that ‘mericans can understand accents :P.

    Anywho while I never expected ye to like the movie, watching it in 3D in the front side row was a terrible idea. In the best of movies that would be a bad idea. As for the “dream sequence” I don’t think it was. I figured it was Flash going back in time to warn batman, if he hadn’t, what played out in the desert was what would have happened. It was probably a bit too comic booky for general audiences.. I presume batman stealing the kryptonite will be on the directors cut.

    BTW I didn’t like man of steel, although I get what they where going for, the shaky cam gave me a headache..

  • Imperial_orb

    Dino Cum.

  • Throughout the first 5 minutes of this episode the boys were just fuelling (milking) my lactation fetish… Mmmm… Rich’s milky teats look so tasty.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    That is your opinion not a fact. I thought the whole thing was a shallow childish finger painting in the blood of all the dead people that batman and souperman MURDERED.

  • Imperial_orb

    What would I give, for a suck on Riches nasty teats.

  • Are you serious(legit question)? It treats its audience with contempt. Superman is “God” and Bruce fears the end is near for humanityand must find a way and Lex is the middle man trying to kill this “God” and tricks SM into a fight with him. Intelligence is not confusing the obvious with bad editing. Its a simple story with a clear concept witch is convoluted and sloppy. And they even throw more stuff in there.

  • Imperial_orb

    Hey Bagg, do you know how I like my Man milk?

  • Imperial_orb

    …Rich.

  • Variant

    That I can’t disagree with. And let it be noted I was not defending this movie at all, merely pointing out that there’s a place for dark/serious comic book movies. Superman is the absolute worst venue for this however, and it was handled terribly. I will agree that generally speaking the tone of a superhero movie shouldn’t make you feel depressed, serious or not. Maybe there’s a place for that but I’m not keen to what that might be.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    also. you wrote a massive essay and abbreviated Probably to prob twice?! did it save time?

  • Eric Catfacts Rion

    I wish I could! Me too dumb to understand Snyder-brain!

    My guess is that they probably wanted to make it more “realistic” and “darker.” That would explain all the congressional hearings and terrorist attacks. Plus giving the devil his due, Snyder didn’t write the story- David Goyer did. So it was David Goyer that decided to make Superman “Batman with powers” and make everyone a dumb asshole.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Watchmen should be depressing, Punisher should be dark and murder people… Superman should be a saviour and batman should be conflicted. they shouldn’t be insane murderers.

  • moleman124

    no, I just don’t know how to spell probably

  • Variant

    Agreed, I was actually going to cite Watchmen as the appropriate example.

  • moleman124

    yet RLM didn’t address any of these characters motives and were “confused” by them

  • Imperial_orb

    It’s just a synonym.

  • moleman124

    meh, batman and superman need to murder in this universe… It’s about time

    Didn’t superman fight Nazi’s in his younger years ? Prob best he killed them during that time, rather than “try and teach them a moral lessons”?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    PROB… and see if you can follow this… ABLY.
    and souperman never needs to kill thats a cop out argument.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Great actor and a great human bean.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    thets cool i is dylexyic 2

  • moleman124

    being disadvantaged due to laziness of not wanting to learn how to spell correctly and having dailysex are two very different things.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the joke doesn’t work anymore when you ditched that awsome avatar/nickname combo though 😛

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yes they are. lazy people dont get to see the hilarious stuff my brain makes up when i’m reading.

  • Well so was I. I had to think hard on it. Even discuss it with a friend. And this is not 2001 A space odyssey. It garbles up everything in the akward editing. You should not have to view it again. Its even debated on the internet what everything means. They did adress it all but they talk about it in a movies perspective. “In the logic of the movie” as Stoklasa puts it. Maybe you missed that.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Look I hate everyone, but DC fans are the worst.
    Marvel fan: “That one was good, this one sucked, the studio ruined this one, this one was so cooooool! X-men: First class? I would rather chew my arm off than watch it again.”
    DC fan: “Its not the movies fault, you just dont get it, Snyder has a vision, why does everyone hate DC?”
    Fuck DC fans.
    P.S if i had to chose I like DC more… theoretically.

  • moleman124

    I actually followed along real nicely live during the movie. and appreciated they didn’t take me for an idiot and could follow their logical jumps in conclusions they took here and there, it was refreshing, especially in a super hero movie. Like i said, that sand dream sequence was the only take away bit for my mind to chew on , but i’m sure it’ll be paid off in future movies.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! You didnt feel like an idiot? you got sucked in. totally sucked in.

  • moleman124

    did you see his character needing to question himself and his subsequent arch……. ? *whooooosh* that’s the whole movie flying over your head lols… Thomas would be disappointed in you, son.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Arc? anyway back to you and why you are wrong.
    Sooo a murderer sits down and feels bad about murdering… is it really murder?
    I’ll let you decide but you’re wrong.

  • Mr. Pedantic

    That “bitch please” look by Amy Adams at the panel discussion was everything.

  • Jonah Falcon
  • Ok fair enough. Glad you liked it. =) (sincerily)
    They got Bruce W motivation down. They did miss the motivation for Lex (15:00) they touched on it but I don’t know if they could explain it to satisfaction. And they would not care. I think they understand but left it out.

    Um the dream wich Bruce had while nappin at work while waiting on the decryption is problably easy to understand.

    1 Bruce is afraid that the world is doomed and we see him in an apocalyptic future going after the weapon to defeat superman.
    2 He think he gets it but is set up and falls victim to the nazi thugs.
    3 Superman comes and is evil. A monster. That kills him before he wakes up.
    4 Its totalitarian symbolism. Nasis running things worshipping evil.
    5 Bruce views SM as evil thats why he is a monster in his dream.
    6 SM kills Batman because he knows he can not defeat him.

    Freud and dreams and Neitze. It’s just so terrible. I understand the concept but it has to be cohercive as a script. I love this type of stuff in movies. I activekly look for movies that give a challenge. I think I also understand when it does not work. I’m sure it will be poster material to defend the movie but there comes a point when it turns to shlock. Watchmen had a balance but SvB just endlessly puts things in there.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    https://youtu.be/Hhj9B2hymBw?t=295

    this is better acting then the entire career of Wonder Women.

  • Som

    Ya she wasn’t happy, but Amy Adams is terrible in these movies

  • dollar store cashier wife

    she phones it in and gets the paycheck all the same. Saves up acting skillz for real movies. U go girl!

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    DC fan: say outrageous things then go around calling people trolls.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Brevity is the soul of wit, you twit.

  • Bruce Wayne is Batman you sunbathing Koala. Get it in your HEAD!
    https://youtu.be/oABhL6zCVRw?t=3m7s

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    HAHAHA you just think that because clark kent is superman. you cant trick me you toad.

  • Sully

    I see what you did there. It’s because I’m a fox, right?

  • Wearing that wig is too heavy a burden for me.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    was your top lip weighed down?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I miss mole man… what happened to that guy?
    Also Pa kettle you knat come home soon.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Dumb kids just can’t understand this awe-inspiring, mature take on Superman’s character.
    After all, the key to being a mature adult is to only help people in ways that makes you comfortable, throwing hissy fits when things don’t go your way and achieving goals through threats and intimidation.

  • moleman124

    As for the motives in the scene, sure . yours are more than plausible

    the reason the scene makes no sense is, he is going after cryptonite in the dream … but this is during the downloading of the information that leads him to cryptonite. so at the time of dreaming, he doesnt know about it!! but then the flash appears, my theory is so most likely the flash implanted that “future vision” within his dream, so he would know.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    If you have to explain a joke its not funny.

  • Might be, BUT now we are lost. Why cant he just tell him? In the logic of the movie its nonsensecal and becomes stupid. Just turn the scene around, Flash appears while he sleeps and “whispers” while Bruce has a dream. They must have understood this… they must have. I’ve struggeled to understand the decisions they made in the script but oh… its beond.. and more more more more

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it might not be mature but it sure as hell fits the profile of many adults.

    B R A V O S N Y D E R

  • The more I understand Snyderverse the worse it gets! Just O my gord…….

  • moleman124

    the payoff/explanation is coming…. lol I hope, I do have faith it will

  • What did you learn?

  • tOmy`

    Holy smokes, Bon Jovi released an ultimate collection of the best hits.

    I wonder how many times can you put It’s My Life on two CDs before it becomes kinda obvious.

  • I genienly hope they fix it. Batman is the only superhero I enjoy, well Wolverine too but Batsy oh Batsy he is Batsy. No one can win over Batsy.

    https://youtu.be/oABhL6zCVRw?t=3m7s

    The problem is if you make a mythos its impossible. Like religions can be endlessly ridiculed with logic. And if you go for these themes (witch I love exploring) I don’t think you have to maket it watertight just make it solid. Explain the obvious well and hide the higher themes in plain sight. Don’t make spears drown in Jesus fountains and Nazis hiding gold in a dream sequence just for cool visuals and explain it all via CNN, don’t convolute motives with nonsensical bad editing. And yes. Have a little fun. This is not a movie about Auschwitz.

  • moleman124

    TROLOLOLOOLOLLL and a very very weak troll too. Think your “victorious” EPeen is very small amognst the cyber vilians

  • dollar store cashier wife

    3234 423 and!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    There you are… made you comment. gold.

  • moleman124

    and u ejaculated to it mmmmmmmm sexy

  • frankelee

    With great power comes great AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIDS.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Also relax kid I is just funnin’ ya.

  • Bubs

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Holy shit. You’re a welcome new addition to the forums. It’s nice to see someone around here who knows how to ….

    Wait, you were serious?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    -Ronald Reagan

  • That it’s intelligent….. No I had a chat with my DC friend about the darker comics and the adaptation. Why Batman and Superman have to be like they are in Snyderverse. And Im trying to fill gaps with the God themes and the justufications for it.

    To be honest, the concept is interresting. But it needs a good story, dialogue, script, editing and so on and so on.

    People also seem to believe other people are to dumb to understand the movie.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Living on a prayer… and… nope cant think of anything else.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No… But there are pictures. go to the darkside and ask for omitted. he has them all.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Because retards cant imagine what its like to be smart.

  • Bubs

    The Deadliest Catch themesong will be tracks 3, 7, 9, 10, and 14

  • Mikkel Rasmussen

    This joke probably woulda worked better with an artist that did not have a lot of hits 🙂

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    seriously? like what?
    Edit: the internet needs an irony font. Is this ironic?

  • Waitin on Kevin to comment on it. Good to know there are DC people that understand filmmaking also.
    https://youtu.be/bh1cOKb9jGw?t=3s

  • tOmy`

    Oooo! Oooo! That one from Armageddon. You know… living… life… fully… Saturday night something something party my life is fine… Uhm.

  • Bubs

    That was Aerosmith. OH, you mean the other, more terrible and easily forgotten song from that movie.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was going to make a joke about disk two being just photos of Liv Tyler but I couldnt think of a link.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    So excited for the Aquaman movie where Aquaman “saves” the Pacific Ocean by destroying the Great Barrier Reef. Then the second movie can retcon the first by showing a clown fish looking for his son Nemo in the sinking debris. Nemo survives and seeks revenge leading to “Nemo v Aquaman”. Anything can happen when a talking clown fish swallows an infinity gem. That’s an expanded universe!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Why did Lex Luthor create black goo he couldn’t control when he easily could have just shot Superman with a black goo rocket in the beginning of the movie? Why did he waste all of that time convincing Batman and Superman to fight if he was just going to create black goo? What if Batman killed Superman? Would Lex Luthor still have a need for black goo? WHYYYYYYY?

    Questions will be answered.

  • bleurgh

    Bon Jovi had lots of inexplicably popular unfathomably dreadful cock-rock anthems. They only seem like one hit wonders because every song sounds almost identical.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Ak-47, Kryptonite bullets, shoot first dont bother to ask questions.

  • moleman124

    lol seriously, ur career as a troll is unprofappable and shit. give up, as you cant serious keep fapping to your own “gold” lol, It’s pretty D grade material . as in D you’ll never get, even if your willing to pay for it … ***** soz I haz to spell out my jokses like i did hadz to for the movies you couldntz undersandes as was is too complexicated for you wazzzz #tooreatrded4life

  • moleman124

    as in your retarded, stop posting. on the internet #forever

  • >Not simply “A Midsummer’s NIGHTmare!”

    Unsubscribed

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    That is the most plausible explanation for a bucket of shit that I have heard all day. and I’ve heard a lot of shit today.

  • Red Skeleton

    So when people talk shit about Zack Snyder they’re not talking about Watchmen and 300, right?

    …. Right…?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    ok sure. but only cause you told me.

  • Why is John Conner making nazis in Batman’s dreams? Why did he travel back in time? Did Batman send John Conner back in time to warn Batman with a Batman dream with nazis? Did Batman in the future tell John Conner to give the Batman in the past a nazi dream? What if Batman had never forgotten about his nazi dream? Then he never would have sent back John Conner to remind him about the dream, which creates a major paradox…. what ever that is. I’m sure Snyder knows. I’m to dumb for DC.

  • moleman124

    #pwnd

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    watching you spaz is so funny. relax man. have a drink or something.
    here is a BvS movie to cheer you up.
    https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/114089192088360284355/albums/6266652013198531393/6266652017169441074?pid=6266652017169441074&oid=114089192088360284355

  • This movie has tainted Watchmen for me to be honest. 300 I like but don’t care about so it’s not in ruin. I just don’t understamd how he got away with making this mess.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    pound signs? meh
    Hashtag sadface

  • moleman124

    lol… “spaz”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    you retarded it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    watch the video you hetero white male of normal intelligence….

  • Wuat? Is this AIDS on the line? It is! Hey AIDS, how’ya doing? Oh you have AIDS? Dont worry, you are AIDS. Well great seeing ya again. Wuat?

  • moleman124

    sadly,I felt this movie did give the gift of brevity, but the gift was lost on the RLM boys.

  • LOL DID NOT READ CRITICS!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ‘Watchmen And Dawn of The Dead

    FTFY

  • RLMkeepitup

    wow, that’s pretty shocking

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I like you molerat321. xoxo
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYf2Dh71RgY
    If pa Kent dies I’ll have you to…. well, be a massive arsehole to. thanks.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    “Smoke reefer and save the reefs, man!”
    -Aquadude

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    We are all going to die someday…. probably soon.

  • tOmy`

    300 is just fine. It’s a fun, dumb, loud, obnoxious, overstylized flick, but I think it is hard to hate. I mean, it is what it is.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    A CGI turd?

  • WHAT? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?

    SPMARTHAAA

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • tOmy`

    Yea, but then again, what were you going to do with it anyway? It’s one of them movies you just put on a background while having a beer.

  • tOmy`

    That’s one racist reef, if you ask me.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have never been able to sit through it. it makes me want to strangle people with the blue screen.

  • Superman is God and Lex is jelly cus he wants to be God but has no powers. This drives him to create a wacky machine. Wow see how smart I am. Euo… euyoddioupus complex! See how easy it was. I’m Sack Snyder.

  • tOmy`

    I seen it couple of times (actually, once in a cinema as part of our project week in school). I don’t find it anything but fun flick.

    Plus I kinda dig the whole story, so hey.

    You know, you could always follow the “we better not” approach, but since they went with it, whatevs, really.

  • Bubs

    It’s so weird for me when I see an RLM meme posted outside of the RLM webzone.
    I typically have this comment section open all day while I’m working, and will have another tab or two open. I literally did a double take. It was like a sort of weird blending of reality when I came across this. Scroll down about halfway. You can’t miss it.

    http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/256272/its-not-sober-to-defend-the-studio-anymore

  • RLMkeepitup

    he seems to be good at a visual style and portraying fights, so i can kinda see the logic behind using him but his plots are like video games if you think about them.

  • Ellieinto

    It’s even worse than you guys thought. That reporter guy who gets shot dead by the African terrorists? Apparently SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER that’s Jimmy Olson! SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER. I kid you not. Someone asked Snyder about it and he said they wanted to do something “fun” with the Olson character. So they blew his head off BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

    You can’t make this up.

  • He makes isolated cool scenes and tries to make it coherent. I like his visuals. But it needs the meat and potatoes. Id rather have a lowrez crappy looking brilliant movie than this turd.

  • Red Skeleton

    GIF =/= meme.

    Not to be pedantic but the message of the GIF is completely self-contained (i.e. you don’t have to be an fan of RLM to get the joke).

  • Buck Fudder

    Children literally sobbed during that movie. I’ve never seen so many people walking out of a movie to comfort their kids before.

  • Not to be pedantic, but to be pedantic, you pedaphile!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I watched it in theatre when it came out. You think this type of movie would be really appealing to a 14 year old kid but I fucking hated it.

    #patrician taste lyfestyle

  • Red Skeleton

    Not to be podantic, but get your goddamn foot out of my face.

  • Thanks, I needed a good pwning.

  • Bubs

    Because being pedantic gives me a hard on, I shall refer you to dictionary.com.
    http://www.dictionary.com/browse/meme?s=t

    I don’t disagree with your definition, but Webster does.

  • Michael Collins

    I never knew Mike was such a hipster!

  • Michael Collins

    I never liked Jimmy Olson..

  • Kerk Crotchlickmeoff

    Next time they will think twice before taking children to a PG-13 rated movie.

  • tOmy`
  • “Just put him in there, I’ll make the scene look cool. Where is my Nietzsche book? I need this to be smart also.”

  • Bubs

    Who’s Jimmy Olson? Is that the Olson Twins’ big brother? Christ, that brood just keeps multiplying.

  • tOmy`

    “It was a great, fun shoot. Every time we had a break, Zack always came to us and told us that God is dead. He is a true auteur and inspiration.”

  • What? No! Everybody loves a good old Zack of shit!

  • Red Skeleton

    Well we an probably stretch the definition of meme to mean damn near anything, but my point was that there was no evidence to suggest the poster knew what RLM was and hadn’t simply searched for “binge drinker” in a google image search. Knowing what RLM is doesn’t add anything to the poster’s message beyond going “oh hey, it’s Mike and Jack.”

  • tOmy`

    According to my Bing, he is a reporter. I could look into it a bit more, but then again, fuck it.

  • Buck Fudder

    Yeah! Take that, you irresponsible parents and stupid children!

    To be fair, I don’t know if the marketers even knew who the audience would be. We got trailers for Lego Batman, the TMNT sequel, and Ratchet and Clank. By all accounts, it seemed like it’d be ok for kids until Martha Wayne got her face blown off.

  • Red Skeleton

    If he ain’t rocking high heels and a mini skirt, he aint Jimmy Olsen!

    http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2365/2313767689_477628843a_o.jpg

  • tOmy`

    Dude! Spoilers!

    What if I wanna go and see that mov-

    BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Yeah, literally everything has been said about this movie.
    No need for a funeral eulogy.

  • Buck Fudder

    Spoilers: Bruce Wayne’s parents die.

  • bleurgh

    I feel like they stole the whole visual gimmick for that movie from Sin City.

  • Kerk Crotchlickmeoff

    Children aren’t stupid. Parents are.

  • tOmy`

    Well, just like Sin City “stole” from Sin City, 300 “stole” from 300.

  • Imperial_orb

    ♫I’m a cowboy! On a steel horse I ride! I’m wanted dead or alive!♫

  • Sully

    Oh shit! So Marvel fans critics were wrong. This movie IS fun, and it’s just that no one figured it out, because Snyder’s genius managed to somehow bury the fun under six feet of worm-filled nuance, but just like the film, it isn’t until the end that we realize that nuance is still alive and well.

    Pound Sign: SupermanWasAMetaphorForFun
    Pound Sign: WeWereWrongWeWereSoWrong
    Pound Sign: MarvelDidItBetter

  • Sully

    Like seeing your boss outside of their normal habitat. It’s jarring and I don’t fucking like it.

  • Sully

    Exactly. How does someone earn credit for being a “visionary genius” by telling his crew to “put this page on that screen?”

  • MichaelKz

    That is the standard motivation for Lex Luthor that spans Superman comics and other media. I don’t know why some people are looking for complex motivation, grounded in reality, for Lex Luthor to want to kill Superman.

  • I remember your argument over WM a few days ago on Batmannews. Makes sense now after the Snyder fatigue sets in. I might have seen the light. Or maybe it’s to intelligent for me. It’s DC after all.

  • Yeah. I’ve heard it elevated to masterpiece levels of cheering. The usual “you’re too stupid for DC” follows.

    #critics

  • tOmy`

    Yea, the difference being that while Sin City looks interesting, 300 just looks… filtered.

  • I remember that my eyes were tired after seeing it (300) in 2007.

  • Imperial_orb

    *utterly disgusted look*
    Elder Scrolls online? Really?

  • Red Skeleton

    Hm, well I can’t think of anything WRONG with Dawn of the Dead’s direction, aside from being inferior to the source material. But that’s true of Watchmen and 300 as well…

  • You are that perennial klutz, Clark Kent. Once again, you’ve locked yourself out of your apartment and the only person with a spare key is your landlord who lives across town.

    Do you:

    (A) Call your Landlord, explain your situation and ask if you can drop by, pick up the spare key and get a copy made at your expense.

    (B) Change into your Superman outfit. Fly to your landlord’s home via the quickest route, through downtown Metropolis, collapsing several high-rise buildings and leaving behind a trail of human and economic carnage.

    Grab your landlord by the scruff of his neck and fly home via an alternative route that unleashes a second wave of destruction upon the city, while bellowing reassuringly in his terrified face: “If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead already.”

    Lose patience when your landlord is unable to stop trembling long enough to unlock the door to your apartment. Blast through the supporting wall with your heat vision causing the floors overhead to subside and begin crumbling into the street below, killing and injuring hundreds. Snap your landlord’s neck in front of a troupe of girl scouts who have been going door-to-door selling cookies.

    Enter what remains of your apartment. Change back into your civilian clothes. In the guise of Clark Kent, write a glowing review of the new Ghostbisters trailer for The Daily Planet.

  • Imesseduptheemail

    I don’t think screechy, effeminate metrosexual is really a good look for Lex Luthor. Whenever I think of Lex, I think strong, stoic, serious businessman. It completely defies expectations and I don’t see any gain from it.

  • tOmy`

    I think that knowing the source material and an interest in the actual story helped me a bit.

  • MichaelKz

    Online gaming is bullshit. It’s like buying book but you are only allowed to read it in a specific room that you have to pay to enter.

  • Ellieinto

    Just as well, LOL.

  • Red Skeleton

    https://youtu.be/gyfLOpYl8W4?list=PLbQ-gSLYQEc7EIriDwqTtYQ4Z5c5Gnm1A

    Oh hey, look, the AVGN is talking about Super Amazing Wagon Adventure. This could be pretty coo-

    “This looks like Ore-Gone Trail.”

    …..
    RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGEEEEEEE!!!!

    Fuck you, James, you’re as bad as Rich and Jack!

  • Bubs

    It may sound funny, but I actually don’t play this game. I played it about a month when it first came out and never again since. However, I find it incredibly fascinating how utterly spectacularly you can fuck up a videogame that cost a quarter of a billion dollars to make. For me, the forums for this game are a scientific study of how NOT to make a game. It’s sort of the videogame equivalent of Batman V. Superman. It’s clear that the creators just did not get it.

  • He unfortunately went from funny to desperate. Unwatchable. Unsubscribed years ago.

  • CM Chunk

    Savvy meaning knowledgeable. These guys GET the language of film, even if they don’t make masterpieces themselves.

    But they seem to disconnect sometimes. I’m not saying they should have loved MoS or BvS, but there were things that it seems like they should have appreciated that they didn’t. Just my opinion.

  • CM Chunk

    The vision of the post-apocalyptic future seemed like a dream, but the appearance of the Flash coming out of his computer wasn’t a dream. That seemed obvious to me. I believe that the Flash was warning him about a post-apocalyptic future.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Michael Shannon as Lex Luther, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen and John Malkovich.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I’m pretty sure his motivation in the comics is he blames Superman for his baldness.

  • MichaelKz

    That’s better than the black, BFF of Superman and probably tried to suck his dick and that’s why he left Metropolis Jimmy Olsen from the Supergirl TV series.

  • Domo

    I think Red is mad because no one on the internet says Oregon correctly 🙂

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Not complex motivation. Just one motivation that makes sense. As opposed to having four or five motivations that change from scene to scene.

    “Lex Luthor wants to kill Superman because you know Lex Luthor wants to kill Superman” doesn’t really make for a compelling narrative.

  • tOmy`

    I am not sure I exactly follow that metaphor.

  • tOmy`

    Metrosexual?

    He looks like a ragged psychopath.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I felt really uncomfortable when Aquaman was awkwardly staring at the camera for 10 seconds.

    “Hey guys, I’m Aquaman. Because I’m in water. If you need a few seconds to understand this, here’s more of them than are necessary.”

    “See my film. I’m Aquaman. That’s why I’m in water.”

  • Domo

    “You won’t be able to see me, because in Zack Snyder world the water’s gotta be murky.”

    “Think Game of Thrones, but in the ocean!”

  • tOmy`

    Oh, now I get it! Aqua = water, right?

    And I thought all of them fish puns and “bleaching reefs” were vagina metaphors.

  • tOmy`

    It’s gonna take place in a swamp.

  • “Get off my lawn tectonic plate.”

  • Domo

    Man, Swamp Thing is gonna be pissed at Aquaman’s saltwater bullshit.

  • RLMkeepitup

    ant man wasn’t obscure enough;aquaman is one step above sharkboy and lava girl. he’s probably bullied by land heroes but there’s no shame in that.

  • People bullying sea mammals is no laughing matter.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Nass, I figured you would be more excited for an Aquaman feature than anyone. The film will clearly be pandering to Goongans.

  • tOmy`

    Gungas?

  • Gungins?

  • I was cast but then they replaced me with “Mr. Handsome”. Uh ladidaa! But I’m not mad. Plenty of Ocean movies in 2017.

  • Sully

    One day I’ll evolve into something more than a lowly fox, and maybe then I’ll be able to understand the transcendent vision of Detective Comics Expanded Uni— You know what? Fuck. That. Shit.

  • NicCagesHair

    I wonder where the Aquaman story is in the Entourage universe. They are like 10 years ahead. It must be getting weird.

  • NicCagesHair

    Without pretensions or much film making talent, like it should be.

  • Sully
  • rikkibarnes

    They’re desperate for validation and insecure about people disliking these awful DC movies, but will claim they’re the most intellectual fanbase ever and that the problem lies with everyone else. Such petty, pretentious jackasses.

  • NicCagesHair

    I thought he lived in a world of aquafina.

  • Hey we get more. Much much more!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-MUzvASr8s

  • stryker1121

    Could you dumb it down a shade?

  • Bubs

    What the fuck is this? A teaser trailer for Prometheus 2?

    I literally have no idea what I’m looking at. I don’t even think I’m going to go to the movies this year.

  • TheManHole

    Batman v Superman:
    Dawn of disappointment

  • Justice League well the DCU. My DC friend tried explaining it to me but I started hemorrhaging. It is what it is.

    As I said earlier “The more I understand Snyderverse the worse it gets! Just O my gord…….”

    We are in for a treat and the fans are hungry and the BvS movie will make a billion and then it’s Snyder-time.

    Welcome to comicbooky comicbook movies.

  • Palpatine

    I’m so happy I’m not a comic book nerd. I’m a movie nerd. And a history and science nerd.

  • Imperial_orb

    Isn’t that what the Video Game industry is all about?

  • Yea. I feel sick after seeing this muck. What kind of history btw?

  • Palpatine

    Any kind of history.

  • Palpatine
  • Oh no….

  • Comic book movies for comicbook fans! Not some lame Marvel crap. Oh, I miss Shumacherverse.

  • Lovely period piece.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Oh and, when Wonder Woman sits down in front of that computer to stop the film and show the audience previews, we see that Vic Stone (Cyborg) has already had his accident and his father – Miles Dyson – is working on fixing him. And then he basically fixes him.

    Isn’t this a case where an origin story in a feature film would be welcome? I can’t imagine a general audience is all that familiar with Cyborg. And they basically crammed his origin into a 20-second Youtube video.

    “Everything you need is at Oscorp.”

  • Palpatine

    Kids who grew up in the early 2000’s probably know who he is thanks to the Teen Titans cartoon.

  • It looked like the devil! STAY AWAY! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!

  • Remove “the” from “the shit” and all you’re left is “shit”.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Is that the one with the worst animated interpretation of the Joker to date?

  • Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. Derp.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    There is a very loose adaptation of The Court of Owls but sucks. Like a lot.

  • tOmy`

    Uhm… what? Is this a leaked footage from that new Alice movie?

  • tOmy`

    “Man. Water. Friends. No more? Fight.”

  • TheManHole

    When your in a rush to create the Justice league you don’t don’t time for back stories. Need to give the audience the TL;DR version.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You know why this is? Because he isn’t wearing any underwear.

  • Red Skeleton

    Uh…. hm, ok…..

  • You work with that or is it a hobby?

  • Palpatine

    Hobby.

  • rikkibarnes

    Actually, they barely even touch upon Cyborg’s backstory there. All we get are small hints of what happened, and even then, they never mention his father or the details of how he came to be in that show.

  • So any favorite topics?

  • Earth

    Flashbacks baby. It just works.

  • Palpatine

    Oh man, that’s a tough one. I love ancient history as well as modern history.

  • Thats like 6000 years there. Maybe narrow it down. What would you recommend I’d google?

  • TheManHole

    Don’t forget dream sequences!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I take the one Richest in calcium.

  • Earth

    AVGN is, and has always been, terrible.

  • TheManHole

    The history of the Hun’s is pretty amazing. They are basically the exception to rule for every empire. Creating the largest empire ever amassed yet still treating their women with equal opportunity and allowing freedom of religion. They also helped spread the black plague as well as having excellent security within their boarders. It’s said one could walk from one side of the empire to the other with a gold bar balanced on their head without fear of thieves or bandits.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I thought because I heard they were filming a football scene and Cyborg was in the film they were going to set him up and have become Cyborg in Justice League, like the new 52. But naaaaaaahhhhh. In fact couldn’t we just see Aquaman in that opening? They’re in the sea! Make him show up there!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Red Skeleton

    Ok, serious question, mainly for comic book fans:

    Maximum Carnage: The Movie.
    Directed by Zack Snyder.

    Suffocatingly depressing tone.
    TONS of collateral damage and death.
    Not to mention, unlike The Dark Knight Returns, it’s not terribly fondly remembered, so it’s not like he could fuck it up THAT badly.

    Edit: Oh, that’s not a question…….. Maximum Carnage…. QUESTION MARK.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They should’ve should him ripping out Lex Luthor’s tongue.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Carnage is a terrible character. He was created by Marvel in 90’s.

  • Darksied? C3PO? Inspector Gadget? Rrwowrirrah?

  • Red Skeleton

    While you are entitled to your opinion, you are completely missing the point of my post.

  • TheManHole

    Carnage might be more up his ally his character basically boils down to guy who likes to kill people.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Always thought they should do a modern 3d Oregon Trail. Kind of like Red Dead Redemption meets Oregon Trial. Make it really gritty and take place in a huge world.

  • Red Skeleton

    Yes and yes. What’s your point? Are you suggesting Snyder would make him MORE terrible?
    (Also you never got back to me about your youtube poops!)

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What is this? Why is Lex Luthor in a pool of raspberry jello?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Nothing made by Marvel in the 90’s shouldn’t be on film in general.

  • NicCagesHair

    Is Maximum Carnage the sequel to Maximum Overdrive, the movie Stephen King directed coked out of his mind?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What was that black goo?

  • Watch the R-Rated version in theaters soon! 15bucks! VALUE!

  • NicCagesHair

    DC had its problems during the 90’s as well.

    https://youtu.be/YkTHtWX7CCY?t=20s

  • Imperial_orb

    Why didn’t you get very close to the little boys face, and whispered in his ear:
    He gives the people of Earth an ideal to strive towards.
    But in time, we will join him in the sun. He’s like a God to me.

  • Ogrot

    is darksied like a goatse styled website run by Zach Snyder?

  • Yeeap!

  • Red Skeleton

    I can’t argue with you about Marvel in the 90’s but MC would just so perfectly fit Snyder’s style….

  • Snake Squeezer

    This movie was too smart. I didn’t get it. Was it supposed to be a James Bond movie?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Does the jello get in Lex Luthor’s every crack, really hard to wash off?

  • Red Skeleton

    No. It’s a superpowered serial-killer and some c-list Marvel baddies basically just start killing everyone on the street in NYC and Spider man, Venom, Captain America, and some other Marvel B/C/D listers team up to stop them while having morality issues on how to deal with a killer serialkiller.

  • Earth

    Hey, they transformed a woman into a robot, that’s fucking great filmmaking.

  • Earth

    I know. I just use every opportunity I can to say I hate AVGN.

  • Imperial_orb

    “Everything just needs this.”
    http://cdn.meme.am/instances/27762192.jpg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Smarter than Spectre

  • Snake Squeezer

    Oh great, there’s gonna be a Spectre movie now? I don’t even know who that is! Does he/it kill people?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s a good thing I posted my thoughts on the film before this review because they said pretty much all the same things I did. https://disqus.com/home/discussion/redlettermedia1/pre_rec_superhot/#comment-2587728827

    Ain’t no one calling me an RLM shill!

  • Imperial_orb

    Doesn’t this happen continuously in Video Games?
    (-/+ the quarter of a billion dollars)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ah, now it makes sense http://i.imgur.com/CFmNQGj.png

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Highly debatable.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Better edited doesn’t mean smarter writer.

  • Red Skeleton

    Not disagreeing but… that’s one HUGE world.

  • Red Skeleton

    Fair enough.

  • Pfft. Marvel propaganda! Yeup!

  • Red Skeleton

    The shit Aquaman is is the stuff that trails behind goldfish for 10 minutes after they poop.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Do we see his urine, YK Kim?

  • NicCagesHair

    My idea sounds more fun. Someone get King on the phone and get a bunch of coke together!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes! It’s the best urine! The greatest urine there is!

  • Palpatine

    Most likely Ancient Greek and Roman history.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    How many basketball courts does he have?!

  • Maximum Carnage at least has a point though. It’s 90’s as fuck, but it was essentially “The Dark Knight” for Spider-Man; just how far would Peter have to go to bring down a threat that really was like nothing he had ever faced before?

    Plus, looking back on it, it’s actually nice to read a series where a bunch of heroes are working together against a larger threat instead of at each others’ throats constantly, even if they did have some idealogical differences.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    He has all the basketball courts! No one will ever have as great a collection of basketball courts as him!

  • Snake Squeezer

    I don’t have a problem with how dark this movie is and the fact that everyone is a violent murderer. I would imagine the fact that I’ve never been into comic books has a lot to do with it. But for me, it’s just a different approach to the characters. The problems I have with the movie have more to do with not knowing what the hell was going on half the time, and little bits that were just too over the top, like the burglar putting his gun in Bat Mom’s pearl necklace and breaking it / shooting her point blank in the face when the gun fires (or kicks or whatever you call it, I’m not a gun guy). That part was a real howler. And the part where Supes blasts into the African(?) terrorist(?) when he has Lois as a hostage. That was hilarious. But the tone? I have no problems with that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Who are the people by the Gotham pier, Kim?

  • Sully

    The numbers are in. I guess this is Marvel’s fault, too:

    Batman v Superman has apparently set the worst Friday-to-Sunday domestic box office drop rate for a superhero movie ever.

    http://collider.com/batman-v-superman-box-office-record/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=collidersocial

  • Snake Squeezer

    Urine luck?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Probably because it’s Easter and no one does anything but eats and listens to people all day.

  • What about the japs…chinamen? They still pump cash into the bat-bank, right right?

  • Sully

    Is there an image online of Rip Torn dressed as Captain Obvious?

  • NicCagesHair

    And Richard Pryor skied off a roof and survived. Yeah, you’re right, it’s flawless.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They will because they’re godless and don’t celebrate Easter! We must build a a wall!

  • Sully

    Holiday weekends tend to pull larger crowds than usual as everything else is closed and everyone’s home and bored.

  • Sully

    The Chinese already did that.

  • The best Aquaman we’ve had in years was the BatB version. He was so goddamn likable and charismatic in that. Almost every time they try to make him sooper seriul, he feels like some edgy kid whose trying too hard to be a badass.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Collider has an agenda against DC, bro.

  • Mistah J.

    Always loved that. It’s the most petty thing ever.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Easter is different though. A lot of places are opened but everyone stays, eats ham, and pretend there’s a big man in the sky.

  • Sully

    Everyone does apparently.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They WIIIIIIILLLL!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Especially when you have the choice to eat ham on Sunday. Why not go for the ham?

  • Sully

    Our theaters were packed, and I live in the Bible Belt.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ok. was I supposed to get emotions from that?

  • Sully

    Are nails a choice? J.C. chose nails and it worked out beautifully for him.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You nearly nailed that joke.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    WWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIILLLLLLLEEEEEEELLLLLIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLL

  • Sully

    YOU LEAVE MAX LANDIS ALONE!!

  • Sully

    Can I have 2 more tries?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “It looks cool”

  • Well, it was fun but I will put Batman on hold till Snyder dies. Back to the only “comicbook” things I like. I’m gonna rewatch the GitS: Arise Border and ofcourse the 1995 masterpiece. I can’t believe the amount of “visual violation” I actually had to endure untill I watch something artistic. It’s such a contrast.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsIQ_kA77b4

  • Wizard Phoenix

    3 more days. Then you can.

  • Fun fact about Superman; in DC lore, the “S” symbol on his chest is his family crest and actually an old Kryptonian symbol meaning “hope”, sorta like old European heraldry for families.

    In BvS, there’s wonderful scene where Lois asks Clark what the “S” symbol stands for. He looks at her and simply states, “It meant something on my world. And my world is dead now.”

    Yep, hope is dead in the Snyderverse. No Blue Lanterns for you.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Wizard Phoenix

    I want to do multiple sexy things to Motoko Kusanagi.

  • Money, it wants money.

  • Palpatine

    Warner Bros: “CANCEL THE DCCU NOW!!! WE DIDN’T MAKE ENOUGH MONEY!!!!!”

  • ……………………………………………………………………………………………….
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………….

  • Sully

    Fine. I’ll do my best to rise to the occasion.

  • I’d put my ghost in her shell.

    I don’t even know what that means.

  • IllumRTinati 29%

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Some things in life are bad.

  • I think I will change my opinion on “visual master” to “plain hack” concerning Snyder. I’m exhausted by watching that garbage.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “they make narratives complex. you dummy’s can’t handle dat shit!”

    -batmannews,corn

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Apparently they’re going to reveal The Joker’s real name. They’re not really gonna do it because DC has done this shit before.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    His visual style looks more and more dated with each film he makes.

  • Yeerp.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The narrative is so dense.
    -Chris Terrio

  • Please let it be “Joe Kerr”.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    *Turns to splash page*

    “My name is… Joe Kerr.”

  • Aaaaayyyyyy

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Besties.

  • He’s regressing, that ape. Soon he’ll be using just the green screen in his green screen shots. I’d watch that!

  • Snake Squeezer

    You know, I can’t believe it, but I never even considered the whole Easter connection until now. So not only is Supes GodJesus, but he actually died on Easter Weekend. Do you think Snyder has a superman crucifix in his bedroom?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    He didn’t. Progress.

  • Palpatine

    And I thought Lucas overused that shit.

  • Garret Gilchrist… but you can call me the Joker, mehehahehahohi.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Wouldn’t that be amazing?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Spectre is absolutely retarded at some points but that’s kinda the point of it? Mendes Bond sorta embraces the schlocky nature of the series. He’s got self awarness unlike some other director’s cough

  • Like Icare

    Actually, that’s the fault of Collider being populated by illiterate clickbait hacks.

    And you fell for their shit.

    I mean FFS… It’s the fucking site that owes 100 mill or so to Hulk Hogan for peddling his sex tape around.
    Fuck, they admit they are peddling clickbait bullshit for the gullible right there in the “article”.

    Batman v Superman has apparently set the worst Friday-to-Sunday domestic box office drop rate for a superhero movie ever.

    Two sentences later though…
    Batman v Superman’s Friday-to-Saturday drop came in at 38%, second worst only to The Dark Knight Rises’ 40% drop.

    BTW… That actually makes it 27th on the list, which should be called something like “Cherry Picked stats of no relevance”.
    TFA is 15th.
    The last Harry Potter movie is 5th. The one before it is 26th.
    Final Twilight movies are 14th and 16th.
    Dark Knight Rises is 21st.

    Clearly, all flops with no fanbase.

  • Tommy Karlsson

    Maurice?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Sheev?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Joker listens to Tay Sway?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the true definition of insanity.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Snake Squeezer

    Since the Hack Frauds are past 100 episodes now, does that mean they get that big syndication money now?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Leto deserves more hate for being a pretentious tool. Reading his “method acting” stories from Suicide Squad set is utterly hysterical and his interviews include many cringe gems.

  • Buck Fudder

    I think the soundtrack really ruined that particular scene. It was like this high-intensity music and it didn’t match the slow-moving, squinty-eyed look Aquaman was giving.

  • They have reached 100.000 dollars in Patreon money. And the Space Cop Blue Ray made them millions…………………………

  • Buck Fudder

    I didn’t want his dad to beat me up for starters.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Soundtrack was a problem overall. Luthor’s opera theme. Wonder Woman’s tribal nu metal. Guh.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I wonder how much of dem patreon dollars went into the actual budget of Space Cop? 5$? 15$? 50$? The hack fraud lyfe style sure is nice.

  • Palpatine

    Shh, don’t say his name here.

  • Palpatine

    His name is Jack.

  • Palpatine

    Yes. And (drumroll) a movie deal!!!

  • Sully

    Calm your tits, Gumby.

    I think the key phrase was “superhero movie.”

    Fandom films tend to burn bright, but fade fast. It’s in their nature since most of those moviegoers are rabid fans, and all see those movies within the span of the opening weekend (more than once for some).
    Batman v. Superman is merely the fastest fading superhero film so far, and this drop is likely due to word that the movie didn’t live up to what it promised to be.

    http://i.imgur.com/beoVJXS.jpg

  • Sully

    He’s not Beetlejuice, motherfucker. Calm down.

  • Sully

    They’ll hit their 1bil mark within the next week or so. There’s not too much competition till Wizard’s favorite movie, Jungle Book, comes out next month.
    All I’m hoping is that this scare is enough to make the suits at DC and WB reevaluate the franchise.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    They’ll brong hope back when they realize that a Blackest Night movie would make them a shitload of money.

  • That DC Auschwitz vibe. Love it.

  • Palpatine

    And yet Kevin Feige is still swimming in cash with his Persian love hareem.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’ve heard rumors of a reboot with Melissa McCarthy as Mike and Katt Williams as Jay.

  • Sully

    Maybe he’ll shoot DC a loan.

  • The PreRec streams eat up most of their budget.

  • Phillyflopper

    Hanson? xD

  • Rob Peterson

    Batman V Superman is garbage, it’ll take a bazillion dollars from the wallets of rubes who like bright colours and loud bangs and then they’ll make another 50 movies that are garbage and make bazillions from those same idiots. The cycle will continue forever.

    Micheal Bay proved beyond doubt that average movie goers couldn’t care less about story or things even making sense, as long as it’s loud-boomy enough.

  • Phillyflopper

    “Got ’em, got ’em, need ’em, got ’em!!!”

  • Cynical Optimist

    You know Dawn Of Fraudery is bad when it broke Max Landis.

  • Phillyflopper

    New Coke or Coca-Cola Classic? Can’t beat the feeling!!! xD

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Max Landis has always been broken.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Phillyflopper

    Peep this out:

    Kevin Smith

    2 mins ·

    Last
    night, @jaymewes went to see @batmanvsuperman (my 2nd time, his 1st).
    After big brawl on screen, an actual fight broke out in the movie
    theater. Lemme tell ya’: a fist fight in real life sounds way nastier
    than any sound mixed & scored cinematic dust up. Worst part for me: I
    was digging the movie more on a 2nd viewing. Worst part for ‪#‎jaymewes‬ was he didn’t get to see ‪#‎WonderWoman‬
    steal the show. Testosterone ruins everybody’s good times. Why can’t
    all dudes just be pussy-boys who wanna watch comic book movies like me
    & my man ‪#‎Mewes‬? Mellow the fuck out, Alpha Males! Leave the fighting to ‪#‎Batfleck‬! (Art by ‪#‎BatFanForever‬ on Twitter.) ‪#‎KevinSmith‬ ‪#‎KevSmithsonian‬ ‪#‎batmanvsuperman‬ ‪#‎jayandsilentbob‬ ‪#‎Batman‬ ‪#‎dccomics‬ ‪#‎jayandsilentbobstrikeback‬

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I can some up the third act like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDmIRY3Zveo

  • dollar store cashier wife

    What do you mean? Rich doesn’t drink.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    This is probably my most anticipated film this year now, even though I’m fully aware that it’s a feature-length commercial. Still, a good commercial is better than a shitty movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hopefully Justice League will be better.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You know that Lego Justice League will top it, anyway.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    True. I do hear Aquaman’s movie will be just pure schlock.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    A fistfight huh? He probably looks like this:
    https://qph.is.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-631825221c2ee7538d7231d1fdcebd77?convert_to_webp=true
    and he probably coudn’t handle someone dissing a masterpiece like BvS. Naturally he took a crusade agaisn’t Marvel shills. Smith is lucky these nerds weren’t packing heat. Otherwise it would have been Aurora 2.0.

    #B R A V O N O L A N

  • Wow. Landis. Thanks for reminding us.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aw_GlYve_Lg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “There’s no one here”
    -Batman

  • ??

  • Phillyflopper

    *shudders*

  • Jegsimmons

    its also used in any digital screen from projectors, tvs and its also in editing bays. they needed to boost it so the contrast thing they had going didnt kill all light.

  • Jegsimmons

    i cant tell if you’re being humorous or are just an idiot.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Well, at least Plinkett knows that Aquaman is not to be taken lightly.

    “Water! It’s f*cking scary!”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Aquaman apparently is going to be pure schlock according to the director. Makes sense considering cinematically speaking what can you do with Aquaman that isn’t schlock.

  • Palpatine

    I’ve really grown to like Max lately.

  • A recent bout with some silly BN homophobe who started threatening me personally reminded me of this great bit.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR2Lq5Na3SM

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It was fun in the Thursday night showing seeing half of the audience reenact Wayne’s World when the Suicide Squad trailer popped up.

  • Palpatine

    What a bunch of NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERDS!!!!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I would love some visual Atlantean splendor. Play up the greek god aesthetic or something.

  • Palpatine

    Atlantis will be painted muted colors.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t forget the schlock.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I’m totally fine if these films go full schlock.

  • The city will burn and it’s people drown.

  • God I love this place!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Laurence Fishburn. It’s prophetic.

  • Earth

    I’m a very petty person. One of the reasons I comment here 😉

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Loud-boomy. That’s what I call it when my wife slaps me around.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    #notmywonderwoman

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    #thatsmybane

  • What was the #notmyshield hashtag about again?

  • Gimme a kiss, you big toad!

  • Bubs

    And there’s Jack being his usual fun loving wet blanket self.

  • I guess he takes comic book things seriously.

  • Palpatine

    What a NEEEEEEEEEEERD!

  • #nerdshaming

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Atlanteans can’t drown, you Marvel shill!

  • Bubs

    It came off as “I don’t want to offend people.” To which I say: FUCK YOU.

  • You want me to buy you a drink first?

  • rikkibarnes

    Are you living in the 1800s? Because most people nowadays, religious or not, will go out shopping and/or to the movies on holidays especially Easter.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    I now can’t wait for the Half in The Bag for Ghostbusters.

  • Earth

    My god, Batman-News looks like a miserable place to comment. At least the fans seem to reflect the movie they love.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I would love a retrospective episode before the main review, like they did for Robocop.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    They’re in the trenches. Willing to storm the hill for Hollywood royalty because they own a logo they like.

  • Bubs

    They already got the Ghostbusters 2 commentary track. These frauds need to complete the set!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If they recorded Rich watching the new Ghostbusters it would just him saying “KIIIILLLLLLL MEEEEE”

  • Percy Gryce

    You beat me by 1 Krytonian second.

  • Do they have a website…. with a disqus comment board? =O

  • Earth

    They’re spending more time hating each other than anything.

  • Joseph Cain

    Stupidity

  • Red Skeleton

    OMG, he grew half his hair out!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It was about telling douche bags to fuck off. Which it should’ve been #FuckDBags

  • Percy Gryce

    Maybe he’s a fan of the James Cameron version starring Vinnie Chase.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What?

  • Earth
  • Palpatine

    Yes, destroy the critics!!!

  • Percy Gryce

    We Patreon patrons already got the secret code.

  • Earth

    Definitely not weird and psychopathic at all.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Do these fuckers know what “critic proof” means or how much marketing plays into a movie? Apparently they don’t know shit about anything. Listen here, fanboys, your movies that are coming are not going to just disappear because of what critics say. What matters to the studio about critics is how much they can their future films better. And they only do that because of money. If for example BvS had a Rotten Tomatoes score of 85% percent then that would mean more money because people hear the movie is pretty good and use that score as an example. God I hate fanboys.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Critics on Infinite Earths?

  • Don’t don’t about Aquaman, he’s riding high on his water board thru Gunghalopolis.

  • Bubs

    How much more in denial can you get? It’s like one step away from making a website called RottinTomatuhs with reviews by “Bobert Ebert” where BVS is rated at 100% and all other movies receive a 5%.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Melissa McCarthy should’ve been Aquaman.

  • A friend from India told me about the movie theater experience there (Calcutta, in this case).
    There is incessant chatter and conversation throughout the screening. Only when the hot chick appears or an action/chase scene occurs do people really pay attention – and then only to loudly hoot and holler at the screen. Once the movie calms down, the din of two hundred people talking returns.
    Soinds like hell.

  • NicCagesHair

    I feel like Tim Heidecker made a bad investment when he bought the repair store.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Michael Cassidy as Jimmy Olsen, a CIA agent” Wait WHAT?!

  • Earth

    You know, when I saw them give that posthumous Oscar to Heath Ledger for the Joker performance, and rate The Dark Knight 94% on Rotten Tomatoes, and way back in the 70s critics rated Superman 93%, that’s when I realised, critics have a Marvel bias and just hate DC.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Like when he was in Fant4stic?

  • NicCagesHair

    He was in that?

  • Earth

    Best part of the movie.

  • Bubs

    And blacks. And women. And gays. And men. And children.

    It’s almost like… critics hate everyone… equally?

  • NicCagesHair

    Nothing wrong with stealing the show and getting paid for it.

  • Earth

    Clearly a conspiracy going on here.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “OWW, MAI GROIIIIINN!”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The highest peak in quality was from Tim Heidecker. Truly the worst film in the past two years.

  • Domo

    Sony keeps deleting the comment board because the fans aren’t loyal enough.

  • Earth

    I’m just shocked at how humourless they all are.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Most likely, some user from BN coincided with a user from RLM.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Speaking of which all the laughs in the movie were all from Alfred. Or in some way related to Alfred.

  • Earth

    Like when he starts murdering people?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I guess that would be a reference to Superman: Red Son..?

    Don’t tell BatmanNews, though because this will instantly make the movie a masterpiece.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well what else can you do with Jimmy Olsen? I have an idea; don’t have Jimmy Olsen at all.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Is tOmy excited about the director of a Fast and the Furious movie directing Aquaman?

  • Earth

    Or you could have Clark Kent be a reporter for the Daily Planet, and Jimmy Olsen is a photographer that Clark is friends with.

    But I guess Clark having friends wouldn’t be objectivist enough for this movie.

  • Red Skeleton

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/03/27/american-airlines-pilot-arrested-in-front-of-passengers-after-failing-breathalyzer-test/?tid=sm_fb

    So…. America Airlines just aborted the movie Flight. (From Episode 44: Extras, about the high-functioning alcoholic pilot)

    I hear that A LOT of pilots are actually HF alcoholics….. charming.

  • luvs2pwge

    If you thought Batman V Superman was bad just wait for Star Trek 3 (current generation).

  • Like Icare

    Ok… so… until the movie actually comes to my fucking village (Seriously… it’s embarrassing. They know they’ll be playing next Melissa McCarthy turd but they can’t yet tell if they’ll be able to scare up a copy of Batman v Superman.) I downloaded the shitty CAM.
    Which wasn’t that shitty. In more ways than one.

    Seriously guys… I find that the general sentiment here is about as off as that on Batman News – only more embarrassing.
    I mean… they have a reason for their lack of objectivity.

    So… I was prepared to see something that is Fan4tastic bad – and it turns out better than Man of Steel.
    I expected something confusing… and it turned out to be no worse than Avengers 2.

    Even all that “Murderman” and “techno music” Mike mentions is blown out of proportion – Batman is in that same gray area he was in Batman (1989) when he blows up Ace Chemicals full of Joker’s goons or when he drops Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight or rams that garbage truck (driver and all) into the ceiling, or leaves Ra’s Al Ghul to die (both of them), explodes a mountain stronghold full of ninjas (along with that guy he refused to kill), or kills the driver of the bomb truck along with Talia Al Ghul.
    He sure as fuck wasn’t firing rubber rockets there…

    As for techno… meh… it’s apparently Wonder Woman’s theme. It’s Hans Zimmer crap, but I guess it’s not THAT bad.

    Now… What IS bad… Eisenberg. Terrible, horrible, shitty, crap bad.
    OK… I get it. They are STILL working that Superman: Birthright template, cherry picking pieces from it without rhyme or reason.
    But still… that character doesn’t work. It barely worked in that comic.

    Here though, he’s not insane enough to be guided by his insanity, he’s not sane enough to be cold and methodical.
    All his motivation apparently comes from… I don’t know… daddy was beating him so he’s angry at god?
    In the end they do KINDA give him some retroactive character development, hinting that he went insane from “seeing things”… but he was clearly mentally unstable all along.

    Also… Holly Hunter.
    Who is, unfortunately, such a good actress that it takes you a moment to realize that her character has no other purpose but to die.
    That entire subplot leads nowhere… Well… except to Kevin Costner’s talk about dead horses.
    Which also feels out of place and without a reason for existence. So yeah… nowhere.

    Just like that OTHER senator who gives Lex all his toys.
    Who seems to only be there because they were uncomfortable with Lex feeding Holly Hunter candy and licking his fingers afterwards.
    Which really doesn’t make sense when we know that she got an Oscar nomination for “vacuuming” Gary Busey in The Firm.
    Which gives that movie’s title a whole new meaning.

    But anyway… since we still need Lex to be menacing to her… Jar of piss.

    And since we need a scene where Lex chews the scenery while talking about gods… he supposedly needs an import permit for kryptonite.
    Killing people – not an issue. But you gotta obey them import laws and regulations.
    Seriously, you don’t want to fuck with US customs.

    Again… cause they’ve created a Lex who is an aspie, he can’t be properly arrogant and lofty to use his assistant as an exposition tool.
    You know… the way Batman uses Alfred when something needs explaining to the audience.
    Which would cut down the number of senators, make the bombing of the senate hearing more sensible (tying off loose ends) and explain all the points they felt were too confusing to the audience.

    Like that whole chase that gets interrupted by Superman followed by Batman leaving his calling card for Lex – as if Luthor doesn’t already know that Batman is after the kryptonite. You know…With that whole convoy of his shot to shit and all that.
    But I guess it was confusing to the audience to just show an empty box…
    Leave that shot out and Luthor suddenly comes of like a much bigger schemer.
    As if it was his plan all along for Batman to take the kryptonite – which is why he had a convoy drive it around instead of just flying it in a helicopter.
    But no… too complex for US audiences.

    Then there’s that bit with “Martha”… which would make a lot more sense if the deus ex tempus machina said “Marth is the key to all this.” instead of Lois.
    BTW… Am I the only one to notice that the “mysterious time traveler” wears some kind of a mechanical armor suit? Which is NOT Flash’s thing.
    But it might be this guy’s thing…
    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d8/RipHunter.jpg

    As is, both Martha issue and how they barely try to talk before they start to whale on each other feels contrived.
    Just like that whole “Wazzup WW. Watch these cool videos. Superpeople. LOL” bit which besides feeling contrived and jammed in there solely to facilitate future movies – also feels cheap.

    You know… like all those after credits scenes in all those MCU movies are contrived and basically teasers for the “next issue”.
    Or how anything Black Widow or Hawkeye related in Avengers 2 feels contrived and jammed in there solely cause plot demands it.
    Or like that time when Hulk goes Hulk and fights one of the good guys solely so we’d have THAT scene in the movie? What do you mean which time?

    On the other hand… There are bits of it that kinda hint that somewhere in the whole process a much better film was lost.
    Like that time-traveling stranger. Or the whole Batman and WW thing. Or how Jimmie Olsen gets executed like it’s nobody’s business. Or how the following testimony about “deaths in the village due to Superman” feels a lot like that other testimony which turned out to be propaganda.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nayirah_%28testimony%29

    So no… Not bad at all. No worse than Avengers 2… but better than Man of Steel.

    Primarily for never really being boring. Which MoS never really escapes. Too many talks back at the farm.

  • luvs2pwge

    Wtf is this “Mein Kampf”.?

  • Chuck Afterburner

    Uhh… what?

  • She should have been Charles Foster Kane.

  • Earth

    Was it fun though?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I saw the leaked time-traveler bit, and it really looked like Ezra Miller to me. It’s a flash wearing armor because he comes from a future where evil has won. Like the Flash from that Mortal Kombat game, Injustice.

  • Bubs

    I hate to be the tl;dr guy, but c’mon man, I’m not gonna read this. But I will say this, there’s no gray area about Batman killing people. You can see it in the trailer clips they showed. He drops a man on his neck. Best case scenario is that guy spends the rest of his life eating through a straw.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Don’t let da haters keep you down[injustice]! I enjoyed this stream of consciousness[per usual]

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Simon Pegg swears that’s just the marketing department making terrible trailers.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    His face swears about human misery behind the scenes though.

  • It’s my tumblr.

  • Sully

    Then perhaps you should reevaluate your own intelligence and come back.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Humor/self awarness is for dumb people. Brooding about shitty CBM’s-now that’s smart people’s lyfestyle!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I used to like Simon Pegg. I still like Spaced and the Cornetto Trilogy. I did think it was extremely hypocritical of him to get all worked up for Star Trek fans not liking the JJ-Trek movies, when he is known to have been a vocal hater of the SW prequels.

    Personally, I don’t care for either “Star” franchise, but Trekkers/Trekkies have the right not to like JJ’s movies if they feel those movies don’t represent what Star Trek should be.

  • luvs2pwge

    Justin Lin is a disaster, the script is a disaster and the film will be a car crash. Star Trek is very defined thematically which makes it special it is not an action film.

  • luvs2pwge

    lol

  • dollar store cashier wife

    tumblr.com

  • luvs2pwge

    Keep your opinions to yourself you dollar store slut. Now get me a drink.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Rosebud would be a jar of farts then.

  • luvs2pwge

    In the nolan series if you non fatally hit someone on the head hard enough to knock them out there is a good chance they will suffer permanent brain damage.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I don’t know if I can ever dislike him. Hot Fuzz and Shaun of The Dead are some of the greatest comedies of last decade and he played a major part in those creatively.He can lick JJ’s balls all he wants. The paycheck is worth it.

  • Urban dictionary begs to differ: “The appearance of one’s rectum after fisting. The internal tissue pulls out beyond the sphincter muscle. The bright red to pinkish tissue looks like a rosebud.”

  • I had to delete 600GB of pirated movies in order to download this comment.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Now, son, you were put here for a reason. And what that reason is is you destroying buildings killing multiple people”
    -Pa Kent, 1978

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We haven’t made this joke yet! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6CjCEyAJ2s

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I like Batman Begins but in retrospect it’s utterly hilarious that Bruce decides to spare one guy LoS brought him only to blow up their monastery a minute later resulting in triple digit death count…alongisde that one guy he vowed not to kill. I suppose there’s an argument to be made about how that only makes the story better. He’s a hypocrite but the mere notion of “having your own moral code” makes him better then his enemies if not in anyone’s else POV then at least for his own peace of mind. It’s humanizing and relatable.

  • Like Icare

    That’s why I’ve put in bald where they deliberately, explicitly and openly LIE.

    Feel free to reread my post again.

    I mean, schadenfreude is all nice and entertaining… but this is starting to feel not just petty but also stupid.
    It’s one thing to make fun of the movie that flopped for being bad, it’s another to make fun of a bad movie that still raked in millions.
    That’s not joking – that’s being the joke.

    This shit is turning into people pretending that a bad movie has flopped – while it is out there raking in hundreds of millions.

    That’s being either delusional (and in a way that makes Bat-fans paragons of sanity with their claims of Snyder’s genius and all) – or a cunt.
    Seriously, there’s so much wrong or what could have been done better with that movie – and still people need to LIE to make it seem faring worse than it does?

    As for Collider… Entire Gawker media hive are the lowest scum-dumps of the internet, along with TMZ and similar “you won’t believe what happens next” clickbait brigade.
    Their entire business model is based on hyperproduction of “articles” which are purposefully inflammatory and sensationalistic in order to draw in more clicks.
    You might as well be quoting 4chan – they at least admit they are trolls and they are doing the flaming and trolling for free.

    Gawker cunts make the Fappening assholes come off as well behaving AND sensible individuals.

    At least they didn’t go on the internet flaunting their own invincibility, rejecting the court decisions and disobeying court orders.

    Gawker scum are cunts.

    Syphilitic, pus-dripping, rotten, rat-infested, dead-baby-filled cunts.
    And that’s being polite.

    #NotSureIfIveGone2FarInAfewPlaces

  • Like Icare

    I may have gone too far… I may have gone too far in a few places.

  • Maudite Balvenie

    I wouldn’t be surprised if Zootopia gets another bump after all the bad word of mouth.

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    Oh my god…….what happened to your face?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You refer to the prophecy of The One who will bring balance to the Twin Towers. You believe it’s this boy?

  • Like Icare

    Well… They drown horses, don’t they?

    #ObligingBastardsFromOuterSpace

  • Red Skeleton

    OMG spoilers you dic!

  • Fartastic

    I’m looking forward to seeing Batman v Superman. There, I said it.

  • Like Icare

    That’s at least a couple a hundred GBs too many.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is this June 2015?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    #microagression

  • Like Icare

    That’s sooooo unrealistic…

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Fartastic

    With the constant changing between summer and standard time, I honestly
    can’t tell.

  • tOmy`

    I heard it’s kinda bad.

  • tOmy`

    Okay, seriously:

    WE DON’T SPOIL BB. We just… don’t. Same with The Wire and similar shows. Not cool, brah!

    (Kidding, but still! Don’t spoil art.)

  • Like Icare

    I tried to give it some structure… it’s kinda hard at this point in the game without breaking out a word processor and doing a 180-or-so page long point-by-point rebuttal.

    #AhFukit

  • dollar store cashier wife

    no shit?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    BUT IS IT FUN?!

  • tOmy`

    So my “DC friend” said couple of interesting things regarding the “Martha twist” and… some more.

    I will share it with you (if we didn’t grow tired of this clusterfuck) once I sober up. I just find it hard to believe that someone with such high standards regarding movies did enjoy BvS.

    Maybe we are all paid by Marvel, we just don’t know it yet! Oh, look, SPIDERMAN!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Has it been five years? No, it hasn’t. After five years it is fair game. Or if it becomes part of pop culture, then it’s fair game too.

  • junkevil

    I hope you’re wrong but acknowlegde that you’re likely right.

  • tOmy`

    I am sorta on verge with this. On a cesspool, sorry, webzone, that is known for its assholery, I am kinda OKay with spoilers…. I guess?

    But as a TV show fanboi, I know a lot of people gonna dip into that pool later than me / us, and they don’t need the best shit ever spoiled.

    Am I a hypocrite? Yes. But then again, I am #TeamTony!!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    tOmy, you have become infected with Batman-News!

  • tOmy`

    Nah. We don’t spoil TV shows. Especially the couple that matters.

    We should have an embargo on the good shit. I know only two shows I don’t want to spoil and this is one of them. People are still catching up.

    But I am okay with spoiling Sons of Anarchy. Noone will ever believe that shit anyway.

  • Like Icare

    It’s the “Terminator 2 Human Casualties: 0” syndrome.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oolP65DLQLY

    They did the same thing with Wolverine where he stabs people… but they MAY have lived.
    Batman MAY be against murder in comics but he sure as fuck causes a lot of death in nearly every modern movie.
    It’s just somewhat plausibly maybe not fatal.

    Hey… remember that scene in Captain America 2 where a guy takes a building AND a helicarrier in the face – and still makes it?
    http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/marvelcinematicuniverse/images/d/db/Romlow_Burned2.png
    It’s amazing what can be somewhat plausibly maybe not fatal.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    At least the product placement was extremely downgraded from Man of Steel. That movie and Jurassic World had some of the worst I’ve ever seen in a blockbuster.

  • tOmy`

    Now, honestly, you (well I) gave me a pause:

    Do we spoil TV shows here? Like the good ones? The top of the cream? Because whenever we talk about them, we are still being kinda vague… is it like an automatic reaction? Like the post below… that is FAR from real spoilers, because people know how the show ends… but…

    How do we people treat it? I am honestly kinda… intrigued. Do we leave out the minor amazing things except the big developments everyone knows about? Or do we talk about Wallace?

    No, seriously, String, DO WE TALK ABOUT WALLACE?!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    What if the critics were indeed paid off to write horrible reviews, only not by Marvel, but by Warner? That way everyone would go in expecting the movie to be the worst thing since ebola, but it the end it’s just dengue fever-bad.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t take these TV things seriously but if you do get a life.

  • tOmy`

    Well, you did like BvS.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    tv shows,movies,video gamez,books-whatever. I don’t spoil any piece of entertainment/art that I would recommend to another person. As a a gay nigger once said: “A Man Got to Have a Code”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I didn’t love it though.

  • Red Skeleton

    Don’t be a dick, seems like a good policy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But what if it’s something almost everyone’s seen?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    my movies are actually high art but every person on the planet is just to stupid to see the symbolism. I put a cat on a nuke! THATS ART!.

  • tOmy`

    The gay niggers usually have a point. And something tells me, it ain’t about the money.

    No, but still – since I have you here and I am batshit drunk – we tread carefully – about spoilers. Why is it? Even the [redacted] from Fargo we sorta kept “secret”.

    Do you think we know people will eventually get to that? And why is it so different from movie spoilers? Is it because we both believe that TV rakws? Or is it because others don’t see it the same way and eventually will walk that path and WHERE IS YOUR MR. ROBOT REVIEW YOU LAZY ASS HACK?!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Cet 3?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Like that Star Wars Empire movie. The second one, what ever it’s called.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yes but only after the have been out for a reasonable time. If you haven’t BrBa by now its your fault.
    MR ROBOT 4 EVA!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Ewoks Pinch Back?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yes, that one.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thanks dead me, I have never seen gamma outside of gaming. who knew.

  • tOmy`

    Yeah, but when it comes to this long-running stuff?

    I think everyone knows what is the ending. But the “journey being the idea” still… somehow works, you know? So the little awesome / shocking things? I still feel like these shows deserve to have?

    As in: People know how BB turns out. But I think there is a LOT of moments you haven’t seen / you are not familiar with that are BATSHIT good. Just like any other good show. Fuck, just like Justified.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I mean if a person asks “should I watch x” we’ll say yes and describe why. Plot spoilers woudn’t even enter conversation naturally.

  • Nuke the fudge!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I have no idea.I guess for the most part I simply enjoy going into these things blind. So I extend that courtesy. I usually don’t even watch trailers before my movies or tv shows lol. But I guess it’s all fair if you’re talking about something old and classic. I had the ending of Twin Peaks spoiled for me before I even knew who David Lynch was. Coudn’t really complain about getting a universally adored 15 year old show getting spoiled to me.

  • Like Icare

    Hmm… could be. But I sure hope not.
    Cause if that’s where the story is going… All this so far will look cheerful and shiny.

    Not that I’m really complaining… but there’s a reason why such stories are Elseworlds stories and not the main narrative.

  • tOmy`

    Mr. Robot is a show I don’t even… reference to the… all other stuff. You cannot recommend it and draw comparisons without eventually breaking it… and at the same time having the laugh about how is the show leading you on.

    You just… sorta can’t. And it’s shitty most of my friends missed it, just because it is a “hacker drama”.

  • Like Icare

    Wasn’t boring…

    As for fun… I think that only Guardians of the Galaxy was FUN fun so far.

  • Like Icare

    Six months. Or until it’s on DVD. Whichever comes first.

  • Like Icare

    We’ll begin with a spin
    Traveling in the world
    Of my creation
    What we’ll see
    Will defy… explanation

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You cant really spoil it. its too open from the start that Elliot is an unreliable narrator. and most of the twists come from emotional stuff. you can spoil Elliot losing it and smashing the camera and the emotional punch of that moment wouldnt be lost.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I love that song… its creepy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    C(at)hicken Meat For Sale

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s WB. Fuck if they know what they are doing. It doesn’t matter really. People will enjoy it. It will be loud, Batman will be in it. Everything is going to be fine.

  • Like Icare

    I think that the people who could come up with a scheme like that could also come up with a way to convey to the audience more clearly that it was Batman who took Luthor’s kryptonite, without him leaving a batarang behind.

  • Mr. Plinkett needs to sing more.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Like an I.O.U. note?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    *Blockbuster Video.TM

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Plinkett: The Musical!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    My DC/big studio cultist friend says it is not a dream and it is Barry Allen. Snyder and co had to copy pasta Crisis on Infinite Earths as well I suppose. If they were going to do all this Darkseid/New Gods stuff, it might as well have been Metatron.

    I don’t know why this asshole’s movies have to be so grim dark and look like tacky fan films with multimillion dollar budgets. It would be neat if Warner tried to do a Forever People movie that was full of weird Jack Kirby visuals and monsters. I guess Marvel already did Guardians which has a similar space romp vibe.

  • Like Icare

    That’s cause that was more of a Superman movie. It’s like a tradition.
    http://maxlevelgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/dc-superman-product-placement.jpg

  • Yes! RLM! Hello! You can redeem Space Cop by making this!!!!

  • tOmy`

    Let’s never talk about the show outside of the usual place. The runtime is it discovery.

    I am not talking about how awesome is Justif-

    Oh, no, wait, I do! Yo know why? Because Justified is fucking awesome!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Harry Plinkett: Super Star!

  • tOmy`

    Jesus, you are being your cuddly nice yourself? What, you even agree with me?

    DID MARVEL PAY YOU, FANBOI?!

  • Like Icare

    Well… he’s a talkative supervillain.
    He could have just said “Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.”

    Or plain old berated Batman for failing to kill Superman even when given all the tools.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I can’t imagine the Kirby designs filtered through the Snyder lens. I mean, not even Marvel felt they could handle Thor having his silly Kirby helmet.

  • Why’d you lose the moustache?

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Is Kevin Smith a 19 year old progressive upper middle class white?

  • Like Icare
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Half in the Bag: Turn Off The Dark

  • tOmy`

    Anyway, before your ugly faces get sucked in to Fast & Furious: Even Awesomere, watch the most unique (yet absolutely derivaite) show on the Earth:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug4fRXGyIak

    DO IT! BECAME THE PUNCHLINE.

    (Or watch Justified. It’s pretty great.)

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Even better. Sleep deprivation.

  • Like Icare
  • RLMkeepitup

    few good songs in the movie

  • Crixxxx

    Don’t forget Ma Kent’s illuminated box of Cheerios:
    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7lc0nZK9m1rsmgln.jpg

  • Evil Spock wanted it back.

  • Candy Shop is my favourite.

  • Imperial_orb

    I personally prefer the Croutonian unit of time.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Red Skeleton

    Uh, I can’t really help you there. I don’t consider BB to be antiquated enough to deserve spoiler immunity a la Citizen Kane. I’ll tell you what DOES bug me, though, is the assumption that if you’re not watching along with a current show then you obviously don’t care. I rarely watch shows when they’re current, preferring to wait until they’ve ended to hear if the show stayed strong until the last episode or went batshit insane and fizzled out (I’m looking at YOU, Lost).

  • Palpatine

    “Nuking the Cat.”

    I like it.

  • Sully

    No argument here.

    However, the % drop is still troubling, hundreds of millions in profits or not. This film was projected to pull in at around the mid-to-high 400s globally. That’s expectation. Studio expectation doesn’t reflect high hopes, it reflects lower on the scale; not quite but close to a minimum. They factor in 3 day drops and 9 day drops (weekend-to-weekend).
    Anything less than 1.3 billion will be below what is needed for this film to be where it needs to properly feed the franchise.
    That aside, the rest is just, as you said, a bunch of clickbait and fan-to-fan bashing.

    Pound Sign: IfYou’reQuestioningIfYou’veGoneToFarYou’veNotGoneFarEnough
    Pound Sign: IStillLoveYou
    Pound Sign: WuTangClanAin’TNothingToFuckWith

  • Jonah Falcon

    Well, that CIA mole who got his brains splattered? That was Jimmy Olsen. Zack Snyder said there was no room for Olsen, and it would be “fun to kill” him.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Batman News reminds me of sovereign citizens

  • YAAAY MURDER!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mr. Olsen, I’m CIA.

  • Maudite Balvenie

    Or Bruce Timm.

  • Jonah Falcon

    The best part was Synder’s duuuh discussion of why they did it.

    “We just did it as this little aside because we had been tracking where
    we thought the movies were gonna go, and we don’t have room for Jimmy Olsen in our big pantheon of characters, but we can have fun with him, right?”

  • Jonah Falcon

    Warner released it on March 25, the “too scared to launch it during the Summer” date.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    No one should ever think about that.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Actually, there was only one product placement in Jurassic World: Dairy Queen. All the rest? Unpaid product placement – they were actually mocking the theme park world of constant placement (hence the Pepsi presents Indominus Rex joke).

  • Palpatine

    They want the people who make fun of the stuff they worship dead, they’re more like ISIS.

    Too much?

  • Lt Hurwitz

    “I can’t believe I had sex with her a billion times”

  • Lt Hurwitz

    The hat and button downs are just there to taunt us.

  • Earth

    The amazing thing was the BatmanNews reaction, where they were all like, “who cares, Jimmy Olsen sucked anyway”. Are these people DC fans or not?

  • I just remembered that there’s a “Supergirl” series on TV… it got really good Rotten Tomatoes scores from the critics but the fans’ opinions are a bit more divisive. Does this mean that the critics are still Marvel shills?

    http://i.imgur.com/fqDKRle.jpg
    Just look at these testimonials:
    “CBS force feeding feminist agenda to viewers”
    “97% Really?”
    “Supergirl in not a 5 Star show, it is at most a 1 Star because it’s not a
    family show about Supergirl, is mostly about feminism and the evil
    white man. Even if you take all that hateful crap out, it’s only a 3 at
    most. It is not better than any these movies / TV shows, let alone
    them ALL.”

    Oh, so because it fared better with the critics than BvS it must be because of the evil feminazi agenda. Gotcha.

  • I personally see some resemblance of Idiocracy, not all of them but a good deal.

  • Sully

    The critics are trying to undermine DC by promoting their weaker shows I suppose. It makes sense, once you stop thinking about it.

  • Sully

    It’s not high art unless you detonate the nuke and film it at 30,000 fps.

  • Sully

    Why are you on my tv right now yelling at Reese Witherspoon?

  • Blowing his brains out by way of a terrorist(?) general! Brilliant! Genius! Visionary!
    In all fairness, Jimmy really wasn’t a great character. They could have made him a background character, like an intern at the daily planet and a comic relief but whatever – better to kill him off violently, right? NO FUN ALLOWED.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well Supergirl isn’t too bad of a show actually. It doesn’t deserve a 97% rating at all though. Neither does Arrow Season 3 which is the worst thing ever.

  • Palpatine

    This is dark, serious Superman!!!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It is better than Arrow has become. Besides Jimmy Olsen is a buff black guy!

  • It looks like it can be both thoughtful and funny. Maybe the movies should have gone the same route? Strangely enough, Daredevil is the tonal opposite of the Avengers and it’s still doing well…

    Why is Arrow 3 so terrible?

  • Sully

    I tried watching the pilot. I couldn’t get into it.

  • Palpatine

    Is that show in the DC Cinematic Universe?

  • It’s suposed to be a part of the Flash and Arrow universe.

  • Palpatine

    So now there’s two DC live-action media timelines that have the Flash. As Keanu Reeves would say, “Whoa!”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    IT’S CALLED THE DC EXTENDED UNIVERSE, YOU MARVEL BOT!11!!!!1!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why was that Steppenwolf cameo removed? It makes no sense that you would cut it.

  • Bubs

    Wow, it’s at most a 3 star, and at most a 1 star. Just like how, I don’t care, and also couldn’t give a shit.

    #Where’sPaKentWhenYouNeedSomeoneGrumpy?

  • NicCagesHair

    For youuuuu!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Bane?

  • NicCagesHair

    M. Night Shyamalan, is that you?

  • Spoiled Ants

    Hope you have a blast, Fartastic .

  • NicCagesHair

    Why does he wear the mask? And why does he wear that coat? And what do you call that thing he wears under it? A vest?

  • famous_wolf

    We’ll crash this plane with no survivors!

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    What a bunch of nerds. You guys/its still talking about this movie? Mike/Gay/Rich sort of summed up what we were all feeling.
    Back to Star Trek…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Star Trek Beyond is still coming out?

  • Bubs

    My favorite episode of Star Trucks is Deep Space 9, Episode 11.

  • Palpatine

    Is that the one where Kirk fights Gorn?

  • Bubs

    It’s the one where a Klingon Bird of Prey fights two towers.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Wonder how many Star Trek porn parodies there are?

  • Palpatine

    Orthanc and Barad-dur?

  • Earth

    Well technically “The Two Towers” is a reference to Orthanc and Minas Morgul. That and 9/11 of course, so…

    Check your FACTS!

  • Earth

    Interesting. If the fans hate it it must be good.

  • RLMkeepitup
  • Palpatine

    All of it.

  • Bubs

    I don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die.

  • gobears1987

    AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDSSSSSSSS

  • Mike Magnum

    Anyone else kinda bored of Han Zimmer’s (Serviceable, but Repetitive and Ultimately Forgettable) Scores.

  • LameSame

    This was, in my opinion, one of the very best HitB episodes in a long time. Mike and Jay should edit these episodes together more often.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Or, not use him at all.

  • Jonah Falcon

    I dare them to say that about the Olsen in Supergirl. Double dare them.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Wonder Woman theme was nice but anything else Zimmer did was forgettable. The chase and fighting music was clearly Junkie XL.

  • SeanLM

    In all fairness, the dreary self-seriousness of this movie mirrors the dreary self-seriousness of DC comics. It’s never been the same since Identity Crisis in 2004. That was the point of no return. They’ve had every chance to unscramble that egg and they’ve always doubled down on making their heroes (and readers) miserable. Now, it’s bled over into the movies. I hope the Anti-Monitor nukes this DC movie universe out of existence.

  • Wolvy

    They should have got Jan Hammer.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Linkara: “DC! Where we have more blood than the Saw movies!”

  • SeanLM

    I like the Dark Knight Trilogy’s soundtrack but Hans needs to move away from the capes. Did you know he did the soundtrack to Amazing Spiderman 2? With Itsy Bitsy Spider and Dubstep.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yes. This.

    Identity Crisis was my jumping-off point.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    What do you have against hemophiliacs?

  • Palpatine

    Without a doubt one of my favorite HitB moments:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YbsRfRmL5Kc

  • Mike Magnum

    Well i just lost interest in keeping up with. After infinite Crisis, There was 52, Th Final Crisis, Blackest Night, Flash Point. With Marvel it was Civil War, World War Hulk, Secret Invasion, and etc etc. They wonder why they cant get new readers. Its because who wants to keep up with this crap. Back When Stan Lee was writing this stuff. Hay you want to follow Spider-man. Just Read the Amazing Spider-man. Every once in the while the character would cross each other paths and have adventure together. But they was the extent of the Universe. Kinda like how the Movies are now.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Burn Brad Meltzer! Burn Brad Meltzer!

  • Sully

    Wonder Woman’s theme sounded incredibly familiar. I’ve heard it before but I can’t quite place it.

  • a good one!
    I realize that it would be unfair to mention that Sam Raimi/Colostomy Bag bit. That must have taken a week to make.

  • I think I’m confusing two HitB bits, but you get the idea. BTW, is that a bearded Jack in the colostomy bag video?

  • Domo

    Jack’s Mailman Tommy from the Transformers: Annie Hall episode.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3OquU4L1tc&feature=youtu.be&t=22m24s

  • Mike Magnum

    You mean when Mr “Elongated man” wife gets raped and is later burned to death. And it was the Atoms wife who burned who killed her . So she can be with her Husband again. I mean its not like she couldn’t have said. Hey you want to get back together Yeah that Story-line was pretty bad.

  • SeanLM

    And after that it just continued (Wonder Woman killing Maxwell Lord, Arsenal’s daughter murdered are two more examples) until the absolute self parody displayed in the New 52 (Joker cutting his face off and then stapling his face back on, Harley Quinn dressing like a juggalo/white trash hooker). Of course the DC universe is being relaunched/rebooted/whatever again because it failed to put a dent in Marvel’s market share. I think the key is that Marvel doesn’t hate its own characters. The people who run DC absolutely hate some of their characters and it shows.

  • bleurgh

    Lego batman already looks 1000 times better than this pile of bat-poop.

  • Mike Magnum

    Well that kinda of the Problem with DC. They do there best stuff when they don’t try to play catch up with Marvel or even try to emulate Marvel. But because just like the movies. They really suck at it. Image, Dark Horse, IDW and Dynamite have even less Market Share than either DC or Marvel. And i Doubt they spend all there time trying to one up each other. They just do whatever is interested in writing.

  • SeanLM

    I would somewhat disagree with Mike on one point. Yes, you can make an unapologetically corny Chris Reeves type Superman movie for today’s audiences. Rich pointed out in the MoS review that Supes is wish fulfillment for 6 year olds. So let Superman be for young kids and make a movie with enough wit and whimsy so that it’s not insulting to the adults in the audience. There is now no Superman for kids because they are targeting the Kevin Smiths of the world. I’d be insane to give my (hypothetical) kid a Superman comic or take him/her to this pigshit. Batman can skew older but not Superman.

    Oh, and BvS had the largest Friday to Sunday drop of any superhero movie, even worse than the recent Fantastic Four. With its B on Cinemascore, hopefully it’s going to plunge next week.

  • SeanLM

    I’ve heard a lot of good things about what Valiant Comics has been doing since its resurrection as a company. I’ve been meaning to check it out.

  • Peon

    Paging Dr. Plinkett…..I think we need another autopsy.

  • SeanLM

    Hit the music, Johnny!

  • George Superman

    Death and Catastrophes (Comics) 😉

  • George Superman

    PG Doesnt always mean ‘appropriate for sensitive children’. MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!

  • Mike Magnum

    Well to tell you the truth. I don’t know what is for kids anymore. I know when i was a kids. During Prime Time TV. You could watch a man and his talking car goes on Adventures together or a bunch of armed mercenary save a town from a corrupt businessman. All while never hitting a thing. Or a Guy who can get out of any situation with some gum and a knife. Now Time TV is about boring lawyers or just Assholes being Assholes. If i was a kid today. I would protest.

  • Evertale

    That’s a bit too dramatic for my taste… but hey! That’s more like DC’s current vision of Superman, so what do I know!?

  • Evertale

    “You’d think it hard to be disappointed anymore, when your expectations were so low… right next to dinosaur bones….”

  • Evertale

    He has successfully made a perfect analogy for U.S. Foreign Policy in a post cold-war world!

  • Bubs

    To quote Zack Snyder, “I’m a comic book guy and I… made the movie on that aesthetic, so I don’t know how else to do it.”

    Well, it turns out, movies need more than just aesthetics. Like a competently told story, clear character motivations, depth, and nuance. Who knew?

  • Nero12

    I think there was a good movie buried somewhere in this kitchen sink, but then they bashed superman over the head with it and it got dumb.

    The opening action scene of batman navigating Metropolis as it’s being burned to a crisp by Superman is especially well done. Replace Jesse Eisenberg with anyone else (does no one else find him unwatchably awful?), replace Holly Hunter with someone who doesn’t look like a country star, and you’ve almost got half a movie. Play up the dream sequences and play down the action scenes and maybe you’ve got something unique and interesting- but I don’t think Afflect would be smart enough to understand that movie.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You know If you tried you could make a genuinely creepy horror movie RLM. Mike can be so creepy.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The bomb exploded but the fastest i can do is about 250fps and not with the camera I was using… which was my phone….

    https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/114089192088360284355/albums/6266652013198531393/6266652017169441074?pid=6266652017169441074&oid=114089192088360284355

  • Mike Magnum

    If he a comic book guy. How dose he keep getting these characters so wrong. Is he dyslexic.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Every movie they made was horror[behind the scenes]

  • I loved the HitB when they basically rip off pay homage to Evil Dead and Mike gets splattered with blood over and over while wielding an axe. He was perfect as Ash IMO. https://youtu.be/6oeDFbGbYLg

  • That’s why heroine saved their lives.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    The golden days of HiTB! The skits were in the league of their own.

  • What happened?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Space Cop happened.

  • The SC fiasko may be just a symptome.

  • -Hey Mr. Snyder you are the director of photography and someone else is main director. OK? (WB exec)
    -Ok. (Zack Snyder)

    See how easy it was.

  • All classes BWAAAAM!
    All ages BWAAAM!
    All notions BWAAAAAM!
    FWUMMMMM!
    Total market saturation. BWAAAAAM!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yeeeeeep.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Blu-ray.com is a good site…until you explore it’s community. On the topic of Batman Vs Supes:

    http://i.imgur.com/QzF1uoa.png

  • Somebody give that teen a good spanking!
    https://media.giphy.com/media/lHah7E8Vll2a4/giphy.gif

  • It’s cute. Batman is cute. My kids love it. AND. It does not feature SM frying Nazis with his laser vision. A+

  • “buried somewhere” -All you will find are dead corpses.

  • Those poor souls. Why can’t they see the deuce truth right in front of them.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The retard Moleman said “How else is superman supposed to deal with them?” Um he is superman, he could just use his super speed and strength to just take all their guns away? Right??

  • I loved the Wonderwoman theme!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1rBZIzr49k

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Spinning! Thats a good trick!.

  • He can just stand there and ask them nicely to go to jail. They’d do it cu’s they’re dead otherwise. BUT WB gotta cash in on that ‘Shindler’s List’ loving demograph.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • First BvN Auschwitz and now jap rapecamps. #Snyderverse

    https://youtu.be/q4BYfYZy-a0?t=2m9s

  • That laugh. “Ahahehe”. Full Stamos.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    To quote Boromir “One cannot simply go full Stamos.”

  • Drugs are hell of a drug.

  • Earth

    Mike milking Rich’s tits and selling the milk to the Chinese black market is a metaphor for Warner Bros. and Disney milking superhero movies for everything they’ve got and relying on the Chinese for profit. Mike’s demanding that Jay take Rich’s pants off represents Zack Snyder’s fucking up the task of directing a superhero movie.

    IT’S LIKE POETRY!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    A couple grams of Gal Gadot?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s funny how some people [on BatmanNews] have been like: “What were you expecting? Another Revenant?” As if The Revenant was some kind of a brilliant masterpiece, other than in terms of cinematography. Coincidentally, the visual aspects are also among Batman v Superman’s smallest problems.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Just wait till they make The Lego Superman Movie. It’ll be the Superman movie we deserve and the one we need right now.

  • What a beautiful anal-gy.

  • Buck Fudder

    It felt like a video game to me – where each character has their own intro music whenever they get a cut-scene

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I thought in this one it was especially unnecessarily loud and “epic”. Sometimes the epic music cues didn’t even make sense. And there wasn’t even the romantic piano cue when Clark first sees Bruce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yViIi3gie2c&feature=youtu.be&t=18s

  • Komm hier, meine schöne Milchkuh, ich möchte deine süße Eutern melken.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Nonono. See, that bit was the fun!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Is it because he’s black?

  • Give that ass a good puddin’ pounding!

  • Children are wimps nowadays. I watched Robocop when I was six and look where I am now!
    Oh…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I got everything, except for the “itch motchtea deen sube” part.

  • Ze resident Deutschlander will say whether it made sense at all. I’ll admit, my German is ein bisschen rusty.

  • I’d buy that for a dollar!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, mine’s as good as it ever was, having never studied German, and even I (think) I got the general gist of it. So, it must make some kind of sense!

  • Buk Pravon

    It does.

  • I think Mike hated Gal Gadot’s wooden performance for different reasons than he said.

  • A quick question. Does the blue ray shoot up into the sky?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Short and concise. I like that.

  • Buk Pravon

    Well, if you need a deeper grammatical analysis: The syntax is correct. The phrase “Komm hier” wouldn’t be used by a german in this context. We would say “Komm zu mir” = “Come to me”. And “süße Eutern” is the wrong way around: “süßen Euter” would be correct because “Euter” is in this case neuter plural, which indicates a “-n” at the end of every adjective used to describe it. While “Eutern” would only be used if the speaker wants to imply that there is something at or near by the udders. “Die Kuh hat ein Geschwür an den Eutern.” for example. Means “The cow got an abscess at the udders.”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    No, really I just liked the to-the-point answer.

    But I’ll allow it.

  • bleurgh

    Also it helps if the characters in your movie sort of resemble the characters they’re supposed to be representing.

  • tOmy`

    Well, my head seems to be functioning again and from what I can tell, this is what alive feels like, so let’s go back to the discussion from yesterday I don’t remember having:

    So I talked to my BvS friend (yes, I do label them this way from now on) and here is couple of things:

    1) Movie desperately needs that R rated cut
    2) Murdering = no; manslaughter = yes
    3) His own take on Martha: Apparently, it is foreshowed from the very beginning of the movie. We also understand (or the movie tries to make us understand) that Batman views Superman as an alien, a non-human like force that threatens the world. Him realizing that Superman indeed has mother of his own makes him, in Batman’s eyes, an actual human being. Now that ain’t the newest concept around, nor it is revolutionary, but it does make some sense. However, I still think it would work much better if they had different names, because all comic book trivia aside, it does sound like something Snyder considers “subtle”.

  • Earth

    It’s amazing that Lex Luthor’s plot in BvS is actually a retelling of his evil plan in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

    He steals some kind of Superman-like DNA, and creates a Superman monster with it.

  • tOmy`

    That Spiderman description sounds like a projection.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes, it’s foreshadowed… by hammering the point home so everyone in the audience absolutely knows what Bruce’s mom’s name is. Bruce Wayne goes to visit the family crypt and the camera explicitly focuses on the name “Martha” on the tombstone. And in the beginning, Bruce’s father, The Comedian, goes all Citizen Kane and whispers “Martha” in an extreme closeup.
    Wait, did I say “Citzen Kane”? God, this movie was BRILLIANT!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Rosebud is just a giant CGI explosion. It’s the key to all of this.

  • Jonah Falcon

    He’s a well-written character.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh.

  • tOmy`

    Figures. Snyder’s subtle is every man’s sledgehammer.

    But yea, I see the point behind the concept. It’s just baffling to me.

  • We have to make it work because it’s a funnier character than we’ve ever had before. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGjfO7iML5s

  • The only difference being that he creates a cave troll instead of Mr Neutron.
    http://misterneutron.com/MrNandMrsS124.jpg

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    are we the pants?

  • Sexist! She’s just an innocent girl, wanting to show the world the beauty of women! Or some shit, I didn’t understand what she was babbling on about.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Kids hate soups. like totally actually hate him. his time is over.

  • Go on.

  • You made only two small mistakes.
    “Komm’ her” and “süßen” is correct.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Mich Lederhosen ich kratzig, entferne sie?.. Bitte.

  • Tsk, Australians are so easy.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its ok you can say slut… I know what I am.

  • You’re not a slut, you are a Schlampe!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    isnt that the sound of a loose va…. anyway moving on hows the weather?

  • Sound of a loose of whaaa? Uhm, 10°, mostly cloudy, showers around.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    15 here, where our head of state is Elizabeth Regina…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I hate them foreign types! learnd anglash U stoopids!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    and even more amazingly its the superman movie I would rather watch again.

  • O my Gord, still these BvS discussions. Just let the fans of Snyder-AIDS have their trick or treat mopie. I’ll make my own edit when it comes out on laser disc. Here’s the ‘MARTHA is my mommy’ soundtrack.

    https://youtu.be/1D5Sa2Yq-2g?t=10s

  • Originalname37

    Thanks for the review. Rich is right. It is the flash: http://collider.com/batman-v-superman-the-flash-scene-explained/ (Somebody has probably already pointed this out, but I’m not going to look through 1,237 comments to find out).

  • Sully

    I hate that whole storyline in this movie so fucking much.

    This shouldn’t have been a “dawn of justice” film, or a [spoilers I guess] death of Superman film. This should’ve been the DCEU’s Batman standalone film with direct tie-ins to Man of Steel; the appearance of Superman, the arrival of Zod, and the destruction that followed, which, to me, was the best part of the film. All of that should’ve been the inciting incident that pulled this older Batman out retirement in the first act.
    The rest of the film should’ve been Batman prepping for the takedown of a god and the twist, that both of them are being played by a third party
    .

  • Is it really going to be called “The Dawn of the Justice League”? I was sure they had enough of dawns for one decade.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    *Yawns

  • They probably did more coke than writing, though.

  • Wolvy

    Gordon’s ALIVE!!!

  • Wolvy

    Its a cookbook!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    So I think its time to admit it… we have to burn Hollywould down then shoot all producers and start from scratch.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZj9bi7YNmI

  • I think Snyder knows what he’s doing. Our minds are just to small to comprehend.
    http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/3238553/batman-v-shark-2-o.gif

  • Now Aquaman will want revenge for that shark.

    Batman v Aquaman: The Deluge of Bullshit

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    still the best batman ever!

  • Joe Syxpac

    “The Yawn of the Justice League”?

  • What’s her second name? Alotta?

  • “You killed Larry, my pet shark that my mother gave to me after she was released from Auschwitz.”

  • My english don speak good me sorry for incontinence.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I would rather watch my movies, they have explosions and make sense.

  • You got enough explosives. What are you waiting for?

  • Short, veiny, curved to the left. What?

  • Sully

    When jumping the shark, it’s always important to jump high.

  • Nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  • The RLM comment board taught me something valuable for once. A+

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    sal good, ich bin to lazy to spreckens good anyway.

  • Palpatine

    “The uploader has not made this video available in your country.”

    What the hell?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    WindsorSax-coburg you dick! she is your royalty too… you dick. peinis. sorry I was thinking of vagina.

  • No VPN in 2016? You’ll get internet cancer.

  • I kant handle all these words!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA! welcome to the rest of the world Jersey boyz!

  • Spoiled Ants

    Now that Spacecop is done, you guys should come up with new formats.
    May I suggest a cooking show with fart jokes called “Mike’s cooking with gas” or “watching Jay Baumann’s beard grow” just to name a few.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Speaking of AIDS here’s a fresh take on it:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skgebEhAgCA&feature=youtu.be

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Elizabeth is the 2nd cousin to the kaiser or hitler… some kraut anyway.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I couldnt last more that 20 seconds. was it good? because the first 20 seconds made me want to die, after buying that guy a tissue to blow his nose!

  • Palpatine

    It influnced the Plinkett reviews. That’s about it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    complaining about odd voices on RLM? C’mon andy. You know some people refuse to watch Plinkett reviews just because “he sounds weird”

  • Du Rassisten-Fotze!

  • Joe Syxpac

    It’s pretty awful that cheap shit Lego movies do everything they do better than everyone else.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Now that I think about people will have PTSD from the video title and won’t actually watch it to see that it doesn’t praise AIDS. Woops.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m the last person to pick on voices I vear from barry white to pee-wee herman and most Australians think I’m a foreigner. I’m just in a dick of a mood.

  • tOmy`

    Regarding Better Call Saul: That fucking fraud Vince Gilligan dropped a ball on this one. I can clearly see that the Dell UltraSharp 15” LCD Kim is using was supposed to be another “throwback” item to furthermore confuse the living shit out of fans about show’s time setting, yet the icon of My Computer is clearly the XP / Win 7 version.

    Attention to detail much, brah? LOL. Unsubscribed.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Rammstein?
    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA….

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Coolio Max.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Stop that I’m going crazy, we cant both go crazy~!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    influnce doesn’t necessarily mean positive. You can be called an influential dictator afterall.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Positive, clasic HIV joke.

  • They have their Plinkett franchise and Scientist-man franchise, the ‘fun’ Jay Vlog series and the spellbinding Pre-Rec hit show. I don’t know how they can fit anything more in there without bloating the IP.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    If I can say something genuine on that end it did kinda bothered me how obvious it is that Odenkirk,Banks and whoever was playing Mike’s granddaughter actually look older here then they did in BB. No amount of make up or camera tricks made Saul look younger in that prison scene from season 1. Replace actors with CGI Vince!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Some way to cross 10,000kms of Pacific ocean. Dad hid the keys to the boat.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Nuke EVERYTHING! its safer.

  • Palpatine

    Well, that’s kind of what I meant. The only positive influence it had was the inspiration for the Plinkett review on it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    In Man of Steel, there’s a dramatic pan out in one shot as Superman makes out with Lois Lane in ground zero of the burning ruin that was once Metropolis. Certainly, tens of thousands of people lie dead beneath the scattered rubble, and thousands more are buried in the dark, choking on dust, pinned by steel girders, pierced by rebar, screaming out for someone to find them, to at least remove a slab of concrete that they might see the sun before they die. Certainly there are children, children whose breath is constrained by the weight of their dead parents, children who have no concept of what to do in the dark that stinks of the mortar dust and copper blood, no concept but to sob uncontrollably.

    But for Zack Snyder, to show Superman saving someone like that would imply the existence of hope. And that is one thing Snyder can’t abide, not in Man of Steel, and certainly not in this movie. Any minor detail that would make it seem as though life is not cheap, as though heroes exist, must be excised, and has been. It is a masterwork of brutal efficiency. For Snyder, hope is a curse, and we will be glad of its absence when we die meaninglessly, gasping.

  • Palpatine

    I think Synder is a psychopath.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    911 is hilarious let it go.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk

  • dollar store cashier wife

    eh,sociopath maybe?

  • tOmy`

    Yea, you are right, but I got used to it pretty fast.

    Anyways, yet another superb episode. They really perfected those montages to an artform.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Sociopath. I know because I’m his DOCTOR!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Snap!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “it is what it is”

  • tOmy`

    Ha!

    “Another blink and you’ll miss it character: the real estate lady with Mike and Stacy was the same one from Marie’s last klepto adventure.”

  • Palpatine

    I think it’s easier just to call him “cray-cray.”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    So you’re a psychologist…. Unsubscribe.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Palpatine

    A clinical psychologist, thank you very much.

  • Spoiled Ants

    They’re hacks, they manage.

  • bleurgh

    I’m starting to think Snyder is actually a psychopath. Warner Brothers gave one of it’s most important franchises to a dumb mentally unstable psychopath.

  • bleurgh

    You beat me to it. Great minds.

  • bleurgh

    They are now considered to be the same thing in modern psychology.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have a diploma… it dosent help! Except when wiping.

  • You can ramm mein stein all day!

  • Just cross the oceans with an unsafe boat. Worked so well for all the refugees coming to Europe…
    Oooooooh.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Psychology is a waste of resources. if sad people want to cry there is the internet. if you’re crazy talk to a Psychiatrist.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    oops I just got involved in a debate about mental illness above… mesa out.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • durhay

    He beat you to it because he’s behind it all.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Here we got a saying that can be translated to something like: “Don’t blame the crazy person, whomever handed him the bludgeon is at fault.” Something like that.

  • So, you’re telling all those refugees that drowned to harden the fuck up? *COUGH*

  • bleurgh

    Both psychologists and psychiatrists practice in the field of psychology, so that doesn’t really make sense as a statement.

  • Imperial_orb

    It’s even worse… The Batman and Superman I my mind, are Dean Cain and Val Kilmer from the year 2015.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You keep telling yourself that. My Visual Arts Diploma is important to me too.

  • tOmy`

    Not everyone needs psychiatrist and not every psychologist is capable of fully helping everyone.

    Here (I think) you cannot get certain medications from psychologist, you need a psychiatric eval.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • #classic

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yes. People who need a cry need a psychologist people with fucked brains need a psychiatrist.

  • tOmy`

    Well, that is certainly one way to look at it, but not necessarily the correct one.

    There is a difference between these two fields; psychiatrists are physician specialists, psychology is a behavioral study. There is also a big difference between therapy and treatment, or behavioral problems and mental disorders.

    Psychologists also work with communities, schools, in workplaces and many other places, where psychiatrists are not needed.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats what I said. you need a cry find Dr phil. If you need brain fixing talk to doctor Pharmacology.

  • bleurgh

    Finally getting caught up on the Walking Dead. Can anyone who has read the comics fill me in on something? Is Negans whole gimmick that he has an inexhaustible amount of drones that are really good at bullying people and really bad at defending themselves against anyone with even the slightest bit of combat skills? Because that seems to be his whole gimmick. The Ricktatorship has killed a couple of hundred of Negans people already and we don’t even have a clear idea of who Negan is and we are nowhere near the end of the series.

  • rikkibarnes

    Whether you’re joking or not, I honestly think he is a narcissistic sociopath. I just keep seeing the signs of that during his interviews and based on the content of his movies.

  • bleurgh

    I’m not joking.

  • tOmy`

    I can fill you in:

    This is what they call Walking Dead writing. If it’s dumb as shit, there is a possibility that it was intended to be that way. However I strongly suspect that half of the show is written by a chimpanzee. On a late Friday night.

  • RLMkeepitup

    i thought you meant aerial drones, that would have been hilarious

  • RLMkeepitup

    maybe we finally went a bit too dark with the superheros. too gritty with tie-ins to media and terrorism. the world is always at stake, but there’s less reason given to care. a little subtlety would be nice.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Does it bum you out when people put TWD right beside BB,GOT and such? To an average person it’s part of the “golden age of television”

  • That would explain why he’s making a movie adaptation of Ayn Rand’s book.

  • tOmy`

    Well, since we are on the topic of TV shows: Black Sails Season 3 (Starz)

    Fuck you, show. I have been waiting for two long years for this Bay-driven pirate excess to start inevitable sucking and yet here we are again, pondering upon whether this is still some streak of a luck or actually competent show. We started with mildly interesting, plot driven excess of boobs and vaginas, by the ending of the second season we got to use the words “balls to the wall awesome” and now the word “smart” started creeping into the conversation, like an uninvited guest in the Transformers universe. This show dodged so many bullets that it’s starting to remind me of Ali G. The cock included.

    From the intriguing opening episodes, through the bumpy ride in the middle, to scarily bold panultimate episode and kinda phenomenal finale, this show refuses to die as hard as them Chernobyl survivors. So hear hear, raise the colors high and all aboard the hype ship, because we yet again reached the point where we have to admit that despite its many flaws, this show is still kinda awesome. 8/10

  • “Citizens of Peach Treas this is Superman talking, you’re all going to die down here.”

    Snyder’s original version

  • Bubs

    I’m going to review your review.

    Though I’ve never seen the show in question, it hardly matters. tOmy’s flamboyant and colorful language has once again succeeded in delighting his target audience – drunken man children. From the beginning, it’s really not quite clear where it’s going, but the mystery is made all the more tantalizing with a sudden appearance by a Transformer’s reference. The second act, which involves Chernobyl, is certain to leave you begging for more. But the ending fell a little flat for me. Still, this reviewer is eager for more. 9.5/10

  • Oh. Maybe on should pick it up then? I saw the first ep and wanted to plant the american flag in the living room. I thought it was just another pro military shlock fest ala Bay.

  • No low RT score? What gives? Did you get a WB check in the mail?

  • tOmy`

    “Swedish artist Avicii has announced his retirement from DJing and live shows.”

    I think he lost his USB with music. Well, no need to cry over a spilled milk, adieu and hope to never hear from you again.

    “One part of me can never say never, I could be back…but I won’t be right back.”

    Oh, come on, man, stop ruining my parade.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    check? Tom pays in booze and weed Nass. 420 erryday my toad brother!

  • Who?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the guy who made this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ovdm2yX4MA

    #does he even have other songs?

  • tOmy`

    The mastermind behind the second most popular MTV song with the words “wake me up when…” in the lyrics.

  • Bubs

    I haven’t watched the series since the beginning of season 6, so I can’t comment on that. However, no. Essentially, he’s leading a bunch of scared people. They’re not all Road Warriors or psychopaths, they’re just people trying to survive in the crazy fucked up world they found themselves in and Negan is their version of Rick. Negan is a complete, insane, badass motherfucker in the comic books.
    ****SPOILERS****SPOILERS****SERIOUS FUCKING SPOILERS*****
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    ****SPOILERS DEAD AHEAD****

    He bashes Glenn’s head in with a baseball bat just for fun in front of his pregnant wife and then laughs about it. He’s probably the ultimate comic book villain. He would rape the Joker in the mouth and then laugh about it afterwards. Actually, that’s not true, because Negan is totally against sex crime stuff. He thinks it’s fucked up. I’m glad Negan made his way to the TV show, but it doesn’t surprise me that they fucked his character up.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Hey… that’s not an airhorn.

  • tOmy`

    When you accept the fact that its flaws are somehow a feature by now and kinda work towards its quality, you will have fun. I guess.

  • Sounds like cancer. And why does it remind me of this (also cancer but with sexy butts)?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQSYo_pC-QA

  • Ah, weed. Trailer Park Boys 10 is out. I’m acquiring it as we speak. Snoop Dogs innit, I think this will be aother bad season with flat characters and anything goes. We will see.

  • Hahawehoo! Yes! First Kent and now that cancer infested rodent Avicii! Good year! I have so many Swedes on my Death Wish list. I feel a dance coming on.

    https://youtu.be/S-3ZvZjBP2A?t=1m

  • *slits wrists*

  • Bubs

    So there’s a 2 hour, spoiler-filled review of Dong of Justice on Batman-News. Because I’m not a masochist, I didn’t listen to the whole thing. But I did just click randomly somewhere in the timeline and pulled out this gem:

    “I loved his Batman… that fight scene was like right out of an Arkham Game. I loved how brutal he was, and that everytime he got hit it just made him more angry and he just took it out on the next guy.”

    But I’m sure I could’ve picked anywhere in the whole thing and pulled out a statement so stupid it would make Donald Trump shake his head.

    How do you reason with people that don’t understand that “video games aren’t movies”? How do you kill that which has no life?

  • “In a few years we will understands Snyders genious direction with Bvs”

    I’m still waiting on MoS to even make sense, but ok I’ll wait a few years.

    #Never

  • I don’t know but I’ll give the reviewer that – it did look like it was taken straight out of an Arkham game… and Ben’s hunkiness contributes to the familiarity factor.

  • Sully

    So you’re saying Snyder has gone from borrowing his visuals from comic books to borrowing his visuals from video games?

  • Bubs

    And his character development. Batman gets +1 character development from all the experience he got murdering people.

  • The ones that actually got Batman pretty well.

  • Is this evolution or devolution? Please tell me, I’m just a simpleton Marvel fan boy. I have no brain.

  • Palpatine

    Devolution.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Bruce Wayne’s motivation for hating Superman is as follows:

    “You know, these Kryptonians, when they come here they aren’t bringing their best people, folks. They’re murderers. They’re rapists. They’re boring, stiff British actors with clenched jaws.”

    “WE’RE GONNA BUILD A WALL! AND METROPOLIS IS GONNA PAY FOR IT! Seriously! We can totally build a wall! They’re just like… 15 feet away! And Clark Kent apparently had no idea that I exist even though he can take a ferry ride to my city!”

  • Sully

    ♪ Bustin’ makes me wanna puuuuke! ♫

    http://cdn2-www.superherohype.com/assets/uploads/gallery/ghostbusters-2016/ghostbusters-proton.jpg

    This shit is getting worse and worse. If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go stick my face in a bear trap.

    Pound Sign: IGotNuthin’

  • The joke in that scene is that they’re bustin’ Freddie Mercury, because people remember that name. Funny, eh?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Looks like the Ninja Rap scene.

  • Palpatine

    Is that an actual scene from the movie?!

  • Sully

    GHOST NINJA, GHOST NINJA, GHOST!!

    Pound Sign: WrittenByFrankMiller

  • Domo
  • Bubs

    Take all of my upvotes!

  • Domo

    Damn. This place really is all about the AIDSSSSSSSSS.

  • Um. Who cares?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    The streams look solid.

    Literally. Which I don’t think was the intention.

  • Bubs

    Hey, that’s the hit song from Frozen, performed by Adele Dazim.

  • JACKPOT

  • Palpatine

    I don’t.

  • That’s something that I can’t say about my stool…

  • Sexist. Apologize to women now!

  • Women can’t cross streams. But men sure can, am I right or am I right?

  • tOmy`

    Yes. There is also a funny stagediving incident involved. Like: Hahaha, they didn’t catch the African-american one. Get it? It’s topical.

  • But what if a tiny Chinese person stands in the crowd? She’ll by crushed by all that weight.

  • Bubs

    Tiny Chinese person is a redundant statement.

  • Palpatine

    Sorry women.

  • tOmy`

    How would (s)he get to the gig in the first place? By car? Ahahahahahahahha.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    This whatchoo doin’ to me, moopie!

    A comprehensive Recap of ‘Batman v Superman’, as seen on an envelope:
    http://img12.deviantart.net/8aad/i/2016/089/d/e/batmanvsuperman_by_wrongwithyourart-d9x27kk.png

  • Palpatine

    He’ll get crushed by McCarthy. Because she’s fat! That’s the joke!!!

  • Palpatine

    Aw Hell naw!!

  • A Landis cameo? Is he famous or what? I mean he just -writes- bad movies. I’ll never understand … the internet.

  • Yeep.

  • Sully

    Is that Landis hugging Doomsday? This shit is captivating.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    He’s an inside joke for us RLM dwellers. A walking,living,breathing meme.

  • Oh some dumb RLM fan boy/girl made it. Puh.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’ll let you decide… But the answer is Lex Luthoor. Why would Max Landis be hugging Doomsday? That don’t make no sense.

  • Sully

    Is this one of those Tomato/Tomato things?

  • Well, he did leave this comment under the BvS review…
    http://i.imgur.com/jCnOXgl.jpg

  • dollar store cashier wife

    #tryhard

  • tOmy`

    “In an alternate universe where Bruce was the one who died and his father was the one who became Batman, Bruce’s mothers was the Joker. Of course this was no meaning in the other universes.”

    This sounds like a mission for Snyder.

  • tOmy`

    “There’s a really neat theory where it says Batman traveled to the past to kill his own parents in that alley so he becomes Batman in the future to prevent all the horrible future things from happening. That drove future Batman crazy and ultimetly turned him into Joker, while young Bruce then grew up to be Batman.”

    Fucking hell.

  • 28% gentlemen. That is the true sign of intelligence.

    http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/batman_v_superman_dawn_of_justice/

  • Who the fuck comes up with that stuff?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UD3byJxc9Vc

    Intelligence condensed into a 81 second clip.

  • Domo

    My personal favorite is Vampire Batman.

    Also when Superman was discovered by the Justice League after being raised by the Amish.

  • This guy works at WB. Yikes!

  • tOmy`

    Zack Snyder might be the first person ever to take 60 seconds to mention Star Wars during the Comic Con.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    If you think a concert is bad, there will supposedly be an elaborate dance scene in the third act where the ghosts possess every police officer and all the military personnel. It’s gonna be great.

  • tOmy`

    Remember when I said I have a strong suspicion that chimpanzee might be behind writing half of the stuff for Walking Dead?

    Well, this is what he does when the secretary takes over for the other half.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “So, what comics you read that influence you to make this kind of material?”

    “Ahh… uh… ehm… uh…. ah… I saw Star Wars once.”

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Oh f*ck all.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The Nail. That was a nice Elseworlds.

  • -Were running out of ideas!
    -Oh. The script is due til tomorrow.
    -I know, 1-800 CHIMP.
    -Yeah. Good idea, I’ll inform WB.
    -It’s gonna be great.

  • tOmy`

    “Stacy? Order a busload of bananas, I heard they greenlit Justice League.”

  • tOmy`

    Ironically enough, that is the only thing on my CV.

    Well, except for that whole cheerleader gig of course.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “-So Zack what kind of preparation did you took before filmming BvS?”
    “-Well I went down to my basement with a can of black paint and a lawnchair. I threw that can into my washing machine and watched the process while laying down on my comfy chair for 3 hours. I used that as my reference point for drawing storyboards as well as shaping the mood and texture of this film.
    -You’re a true visionary Zack. We’re so lucky to have you!”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’s called comics Nass. It’s the anime of western world.

  • tOmy`

    “I studied other movies and noticed they all use words. So I realized I want words in my movie as well, so I went to the library and bought… uhm… what do you call it… heh, totally slipped my mind… oh, yea, a dictionary.”

  • Oh. I get it………………………………………………………………………..
    ………………………………………………………………………………………

  • tOmy`

    Woah, HBO is really upping the stakes with Vinyl. We finally get to see completely naked Olivia Wilde.

    Also there is a plot happening, but I am not exactly sure where.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    What episode does that happen in?

    I am most fascinated by the peculiar female form.

  • tOmy`

    The sixth one. We did see the bewbie couple of episodes back, but now we can finally answer the question whether carpet matches the drapes.

  • Red Skeleton

    Clueless soccer mom shows Watership Down to kids on Easter, gets in trouble.

    And by Soccer mom, I mean Channel 5.

    http://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/mar/29/parents-furious-after-channel-5-screens-watership-down-on-easter-sunday

    What? Seriously, Channel 5? Did some intern just go through their catalogue and pick out the first movie about rabbits? What’s funny is that headline ALMOST sounds like an Onion headline.

  • Mike Magnum

    I turn out that Jared Fogle didn’t have aids like South Park Predicted. He was just a pedophile.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    The plot is coke.

  • Red Skeleton

    Is she the one who was topless on Magic Mike?

  • tOmy`

    Internet says no.

  • Red Skeleton

    Is she the one who works with Mitchell and Webb a lot and did the (little known) movie where she played a nudist?
    Edit: Fixed

  • tOmy`
  • Mike Magnum

    I think WB should scrap any further plans for a DCEU. And Reboot with a Lego Universe with Lego version of all there characters. It might spare children from having nightmares for weeks. And maybe it will be give adults a laugh.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    The DCCU is coming and there’s nothing we can do about it.

    It is like Star Trek ’09. We have to take it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Aquaman is the key to all of this.

  • Sully
  • Sully

    He’s a lamer character than we’ve had before.

  • Mike Magnum

    What lame about guy who can talk to fish. If i could talk to fish and i lived underwater. I might be about to get those fish to help move my couch.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Happy Marina Sirtis Day!

  • Why? Did she release a sex tape?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Itsssa her burfday, foo!

  • Earth

    PG doesn’t necessarily mean “good sense” or actually appropriate for sensitive kids MOTHERFUCKER!!!

  • Hahah. Fish don’t do that. They are singers and comics AKA entertainers of the sea. Get your facts straight.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Cowards raising more cowardly cowards.

  • I’d rather watch Aquarelleman paint for two hours.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Fish sticks.

  • Earth

    You’re thinking of Olivia Colman.

  • WAI DYD U SAI DAT?

  • Red Skeleton

    Sorry, all these topless Olivias look the same.

  • Learn from Paramount WB. When your characters improvises, that’s usually the “downhill” sign.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9hg0uMwUrI

  • Red Skeleton

    It’s funny because he’s a robot.
    Silly movie, Robots don’t swear!

  • His cousin Swear-bot 3000 has a really foul mouth.

  • George Superman

    Thats like DCs version of everything. Im waiting for Superboy TV series where Superboy is a victim of child molestation and a grahic anal rape with a crawbar (shown on screen for 20 minutes during starting titles for every single episode) that escapes from his every day torment into a superhero fantasy. The series will be about crying, death, sandess, depression, explosions, death, messaiah complex(es), death and also sadness. Cant wait !

  • Snake Squeezer

    Where’s Fuck Bot been?

  • I was sure this is going to be the infamous scene from Death Wish 3.

  • Earth

    Stop staring at their tits you traitor! The only tits that matter now are Rich Evans’.

  • He clearly has a snake bias.

  • Meh.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “People are just bandwagon hating this movie.”

    I don’t hate the damn film. I’m just calling a bad film bad. I paid to watch the damn thing, I’ll say whatever I damn well please! Damnit! Bah humbug!

  • Me, I just fly, baby.

  • Red Skeleton

    Olivia? More like Melonia!

  • fred

    I would pre-order tickets to the Justice League movie (by robot chicken).
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBpmoBLvIko

  • I hate rape scenes. Ruins movies. But I had no idea she did all these things with her character in TNG.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxsZ82ntyZs

  • fred

    I hate Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice…

    from the bottom of my heart.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I just don’t care anymore. A film I thought would be bad turned out to be just that.

    So whatever.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Wait, if the boys went back in time, why is Netflix a big thing?

  • FACT, NOT JUST OPINION!

    #28%RT

  • Evertale

    Nahh… It will probably feature a young Superman bullied and teased, until he starts cutting… only to find out that human blades perish against his skin, so a quest for suicide begins.

    Almost like a metaphor for the character’s existence as a DC property!

  • Domo

    This is more confusing than explaining to your parents that Patrick Stewart, CGI Patrick Stewart, and James McAvoy are all Professor X, but in potentially different timelines.

    Yet Hugh Jackman is the same damn Wolverine in all of them.

    RLM is worse than a comic book universe!

  • OMNI

    I love that movie. I think its a great Easter movie. True life adventure and eventual victory. #NoSafeSpaces

  • fred

    Since they’re in pre-apocalypse that just means they’re in the present, with the Rokus and the Roombas.

  • OMNI

    Fuck sensitive kids/people. Life is not safe or fair or comfortable.

  • fred

    I hate it so much I didn’t even watch it.

  • Palpatine

    Same here.

  • Earth
  • Because the HitB universe is to big for small minds.

  • tOmy`

    LOL, Bubs, you didn’t tell us that the 2 hour long review podcast is actually bashing the movie! That is just glorious.

    Boy, these people just can’t catch a break.

  • OMNI

    This HITB made sure I will never pay to see BvS, or watch it voluntarily. If I catch it at a friends I may watch it, possibly. The kid that played Lex would make a great Joker and I did think the Batman stuff was designed well.

  • Evertale

    It’s not just watching 9/11 on the screen. It’s watching Superman cause it.

  • Man, now I wanna hear it. I don’t think I’ve ever been this invested in a bad movie. I’m trying to get this out of my system but it keeps pulling me in.

  • Rumour is he’s decommissioned.

  • Brian Levine

    How am I supposed to watch a Justice League movie if there are no Wonder Twins?

  • tOmy`
  • OMNI

    I had to stop watching when she kissed Warf…

  • TheManHole

    Oh gawd that rabbit hole is a very deep and scary pit of despair.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Wonder Twin Powers: Activate.

    Form of: A shit film.

  • tOmy`

    There is a Wonder Woman cleavage joke in there somewhere but I am too lazy to come up with one, so we can start bouncing off ideas. Bouncing.

    Bouncing….

  • tOmy`

    I am seriously considering binge-watching it in one day after it finishes, just to see how soon my senses just shut down from the assault.

  • TheManHole

    So even though Batman v Superman Dawn of Unemployment got panned by critics it still has a 72% audience score!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    By “few years” he really means centuries. According to Idiocracy, in the future there will be a movie called “ASS” that will win all the awards and be the most successful movie ever. It is then, when people will recognize the genius of Zack Snyder.

  • tOmy`

    That one keeps dropping, tho. So there is at least some silver lining in that.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
    19% from critics
    58% from the audience.

  • We can even post gifs there. Oh Cosby you are alright.

  • 10/10 voters float that shipwreck.

  • TheManHole

    Keep in mind that was good enough to get another movie made and we can expect another trilogy.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    72% is lower than Man of Stool’s 76%

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Some people are saying “At least it’s better than Man of Steel!”

    I really don’t think it is. And it isn’t necessarily worse, either. Just a different kind of bad.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Oh, yes. That’s what I’m saying. When the fanboys go “Snyder is a genius, the movie is making a ton of money”, all I can think of is Michael Bay and his Transformers moopies.

  • TheManHole

    Whelp he sounds like a bit of a butt hurt fanboy.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’ve read comments on other sites that go something like this: “I hate this movie. I’ve now seen it three times, and every time I hate it more.”

    Motherfucker! It’s because of people like you that we are going to get more of these Zack Snyder cinematic nightmares.

  • junkevil

    Maybe they downloaded the torrent of it? There is a decent torrent out.

  • Imperial_orb

    Sing the opening Palp!
    Come on man, do it!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “Also, you guys really screwed yourselves up by going into this movie with preconceived conceptions of the Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Lex Luthor, Lois Lane, etc. YOU wanted to see in the movie, instead of remaining subjective and allowing the film to tell it’s own story. An example of possibly the biggest bane to this film, everyone’s versions of these characters for whatever reason, remaining the ONE AND ONLY version of these characters.”

    Dear Baby Jesus! These people got problems.

  • I watched the last battle sequence at home because I had to leave and surprisingly felt better watching the quiet blurry one.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I think they meant “objective.”

  • Earth

    I was gonna post this comment. I’ll remember next time I watch a movie based on a book that if they fuck up the character it’s actually the movie’s “take” on them, and nothing to do with incompetence.

  • NicCagesHair
  • Hank_Henshaw

    Why would anyone go to a Batman and Superman movie expecting to see Batman and Superman in the movie?

  • A voice of reason from BN

    “I hate how zack Snyder keeps coming out and bragging about how he keeps having these philosophical conversations with Christopher Nolan and how he keeps being right about them when that’s probably not how it went down at all. Christopher Nolan was probably tired of hearing this whiny baby complain to him about how his ideas were so good and so he just gave in and said “just do whatever u want.” I highly doubt zack Snyder could out-philosophical freakin Christopher Nolan! Maybe next time he’ll listen cuz I’m pretty sure Christopher Nolan has proven that he knows what he’s doing when it comes to making movies and franchises”

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I also don’t see why the “objectivity” delusion comes into play here.

    We’re the audience. We don’t need to be objective.

  • TheManHole

    At least this is just ANOTHER bad Batman/Superman movie.

  • TheManHole

    What I don’t understand about that argument is that’s the whole reason people went to see this movie. You can’t sell a movie on a name like Batman or Superman then change everything people loved about them and just expect people to be happy.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    That, and the film was a technical mess. Anyway you slice it, it sucked pretty hard and there really wasn’t much to latch onto, for big fans and passersby alike.

  • “It’s for the fans” as we’ve heard a thousand times but not even they agree it’s any good.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    How can you not love it? Superman is Muderous Alien Jesus. He is born (man of Steel). He dies (this) and will be resurrected (Justice League). And the movie was released in Easter!

    It’s just what the two jewish guys that invented the character had envisioned, all the way back in 1938.

    Just like Spielberg loves every time people say E.T. is a Jesus allegory.

    (Note: I’m not jewish, but leave religion out of superhero movies).

  • Earth

    Seriously though, why is Superman so miserable in these movies?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Because he is aware he is trapped in a Zack Snyder movie.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    It is the only slither of self awareness these films have.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m telling you, it’s worse than the Phantom Zone!

  • Earth
  • TheManHole

    Same reason Batman’s entire back story is thrown out the window without even a single line in the movie to explain it and turned into murder man.

  • Tapeworm

    I’ll play the devil’s advocate in here: that honestly does not apply to comicbooks. Even within a single continuity you get characters changing quite a bit due to different writers coming in. Yes, you do have “rules” like no killing for B n’ S, but I honestly do not have a problem with that changing as well if the rest moves in that direction accordingly (which it kinda does). I think the whole “this is not how it’s supposed to be” debate detracts from a more meaningful discussion of what does and does not work in the movie.

    I’m also not saying I’m immune to this. God (heh) knows I will be an insufferable prick when it comes to the Preacher adaptation.

  • Earth

    And that’s why I’m not a fan of comic books, because there is such a fucked attitude to characters. You can do whatever you want TO characters, but they shouldn’t be constantly changed to suit whatever new writer’s ideas. If they want a new character, invent a new character. Don’t fuck with the pre-established.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking about motivations and characters of superheros:

    “Made by MCU Exchange, this video collects footage from most of the Marvel movies (sadly, no Guardians Of The Galaxy or Ant-Man footage), including moments from Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Jessica Jones to outline the beginnings of the central feud in the latest Captain America film.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cR6Xa6fEAg

    Now you can educate yourself before not giving a fuck.

  • junkevil

    Preacher was a really good comic and I think you should brace yourself for disappointment now.

  • Earth

    It really bothers me because he’s strong, handsome and just flies baby! and I’m expected to believe that he’s miserable all the time?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    You are correct. Movies can’t be, and never are, 100% like the comics. Not even the animated series are 100% like the comics. Different mediums. Yet, there are ways to adapt things in such a fashion that the core of the characters is maintained, or is done in a way where the vast majority of people is able to embrace the changes. There’s also the problem that changing Batman, Superman or Spider-Man is a bigger deal than changing Hank Pym or Nick Fury.

  • Tapeworm

    Oh I have, I have.

  • Which movie blew up half of the city?

  • TheManHole

    That’s not really how comics work. A normal story has a beginning middle and an end. Were as comic’s have a beginning, middle, middle, retcon the beginning, middle retcon again, middle, new time line, death, retcon, middle…

  • tOmy`

    Each one.

  • NicCagesHair

    All of them.

  • NicCagesHair

    Like minds, like minds.

  • Tapeworm

    I do get that, I just never really was bothered by the “changes” when cinematic Batman whacked fools since 89′. And I was never a big superman fan in any form, so there’s that. As with everything, most I can offer is a smile and apathy.

  • TheManHole

    Instructions unclear Spiderman dildo stuck in toaster.

  • Tapeworm

    I am a big fan of comicbooks, but I lost it with most of the classical superhero stuff in my teens. But comics is soooooooo much more than that.

  • Earth
  • There are ways to make things dark without misery. Nolan pulled it off when Rachel died by making it tragic not plain depressing. This is more depressing then Shindler’s List.

  • tOmy`

    To answer your question more nerdy, Avengers blew up NYC, Winter Soldier rained down ships on people and AoU blew up something like Poland. You know, blah blah, the thing that was supposed to protect us, blah blah, children died, blah blah, America went to Ir-

    Oh, wait, that really happened.

    But the movies (and the shows) seem to hammer the NYC the most.

  • This is not DC! Unsubscribed.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    and a whole lot of #1 issues every six months!

  • I’d say that if you’re going to make an adaptation like a big movie that’s going to set the standards of public perception for a character, you’d want to depict them at their best and most “classic”; essentially a distilled version of why so many people like the character and what’s made them endure for decades.

    I’ve heard people try to argue that films like MoS work if you treat them like an “Elseworlds” story, but that shouldn’t be the kind of film you build a universe around that’s supposed to be the movie representation of your extended comics canon.

  • Tapeworm

    The word “event” has been greatly devalued as well.