Half in the Bag: Unfriended and Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

April 21, 20152,520 Comments

Mike and Jay check out Unfriended and Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 because they hate themselves.


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • William Remmers

    thanks guys! keep up the good work! No more pleinkits!

  • Popo Bawa

    (crickets)

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    Dammit hack-frauds, I need to go to bed.

    Also I miss everyone on here, I hope you all are well.

  • sui-sui

    my body is ready

  • Lat

    It’s my birthday today and this is how I’m spending it? Fuck me, oohhh.

  • jmt

    “A really good representation of what a laptop looks like.” – Mike Stoklasa

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    If you run the VHS trailer for Unfriended backwards, you erase it from your braaain.

  • FishbowlPhenom

    I’m extra thankful for videos like these, if only because most of your viewing audience probably wouldn’t wish these two movies on you just for a new Half-in-the-Bag, and yet, you saw them anyway, and we got a Half-in-the-Bag. Thanks for enduring the misery for our pleasure.

  • Wicked Ricky

    I’ve been drinking, I don’t have to work until Sunday, and I have no friends. You guys know exactly what the fuck I need to watch.

    Go fuck yourselves.

  • diehounderdoggen

    Do you guys ever watch good movies?
    They still make those, right?

  • Well who needs sleep anyway, right, you hackfrauds? You couldn’t have released this a few hours ago, you know, when it wasn’t the middle of the fucking night???

    PS. Thank you for a new episode! I love you!

  • XoXo… I guess
    #notgays

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I’m in Australia, it’s 2pm, it’s nice to have one in the arvo for a change. Thank you, hack frauds!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I’m not buying it. Are you sure you have the not-gays?

  • Wicked Ricky

    Fucking cyberchrist. Every ‘skype notification’ sound on this video has fooled me in to thinking my actual Skype updated.

    Stop getting my hopes up that I have friends, you hackfrauds.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Paul Blart Mall Blart needs to have a crossover movie with Jar Jar Binks, directed by Adam Sandler and produced by Michael Bay.

  • Paul Blart Maul Blart tooo: The sickening
    “vomits on floor”

    Half in the baaag
    *wonders, what took so long? el’o’el*

    #toadlife #truestory #benaffleckbatmanpenis

  • Wicked Ricky

    Wasn’t that Avatar?

  • A new Half in the Bag? Chewie, we’re home! 🙂

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    No, that’s Horse Ninja you hack fraud!

  • Are you insane? #linkblattergate

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Well, it would naturally be filmed over 12 years.

  • Marvels new cash cow.

  • Wolvy

    Samurai Cop 2 > Mall Cop 2

  • OH MY GOD! YOU JUST WENT TO FAR!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    The Horse Ninja Expanded Universe, I can see it now.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Some men just want to watch the world burn eh?

  • Wicked Ricky

    All > Episode 2

  • Popo Bawa

    The glitch just typed something!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Ah, but did you include Kingdom of the Crystal Skull into your equations, Einstein you fuck!

  • Popo Bawa

    They’re professional masochists!

  • Wicked Ricky

    Shit. My quantum equations have been foiled.

  • Franklin McBatty

    That was the cutest face, when Mike smiled proudly intimating that he just drunkenly pooped himself in the beginning.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    It’s because I’m tampering with your braaaaaain waves.

  • Wicked Ricky

    I thought it was the alcohol I had imbibed all night. Thanks for reassuring me that nothing is my fault.

  • I guess. Funny that it was Alfred that ended up burning down the entire fprest to catch that theif. The joker just blew up a few cars and killed like two fat vigelanties and an empty hospital. Alfred is the real crimenal.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    You’re welcome, it’s what I do. Not that I’m a crazy conspiracy theorist or anything, but have you seen any Elf loving Nazi’s around here?

  • Wicked Ricky

    Yeah, Mike Stoklasa.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    You know, the Wayne manor burns down in Batman begins, Alfred is telling stories about lighting fires in Dark Knight…. I am starting to suspect that Alfred is a closet arsonist.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    That Hack Fraud.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Alfred worked for an intelligence agency. That makes him EEEEEVVVVVIIIIIILLLL. Because, you know, CIA and stuff.
    #Sheeple

  • I just want SpaceCop and The force awakens.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    They could be a part of the Horse Ninja E.U too.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Paul Blart Mall Blart is a uniformed government conspirator. Basically, this is an add for your American ‘CIA’, using the sneaky tactic of a comedy film to recruit for their special kill-squads.

  • Grumpy grandpa Solo. I actually liked it. It’s gonna be great.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    #PartTime

  • *fart

  • Wicked Ricky

    Kevin James will be found dead within a year in a bathtub that is contaminated with his own bodily fluids, painkillers, and fatty foods. Not nearly as glamorous as Elvis.

    Calling it now.

  • Robby

    #HomelyShaming

  • ILLUMANARRY mADONNA jAYz Reptilians anchient chariot ufos AAAAAARGH

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I will never look at complete shit the same way ever again.

  • Alexandria Sanders

    wow, you guys actually sat through Unfriended and lived to tell the tale. I applaud you.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    We won’t be that lucky. That’s Chris Farley’s style, not Kevin James. He will probably live to like 70, after multiple heart bypasses, and be hailed as a legend of cinema at the Oscars, where they will show clips from his most beloved movies, such as:

    -Paul Blart Mall Blart
    -Grown Ups
    -Paul Blart Mall Blart 2
    -Grown Ups 2
    -*scene missing*
    -*scene missing*
    -Samurai Cop 3

    Just calling THAT now.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I’m sorry, but Beyonce deserves this comment ~Kanye

  • Why did he pick that one? Also why did he direct the first ever movie featuring blacks… I think he’s a racist

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    It’s the first all-black action film.

    All Hollywood studio exexutives are racist if they don’t like my moopies.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Don’t forget The King of Queens. You know, that TV show where he played a bumbling, fat, stupid, husband to a semi-hot woman in a the suburbs of a major American city? That was original.

  • Nathaniel Thierwechter

    Do you guys still do conventions?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    He also did like a crossover with Everybody Loves Raymond, remember THAT. Then the wife on Raymond went on to be the mum in The Middle, with the Janitor from Scrubs. So pretty much, King of Queens is Scrubs.

    #flawlesslogic

  • I hate racists… and white people.

  • Robby

    It’s been a while since I burst out laughing, but when Mike said “If those three letters of the alphabet could kill themselves, they would,” he got me.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Quiet you, you, fat frog man, or you ain’t getting no glowing pink ball of electricity to symbolise our new-found unity in the face of corporate taxation.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Forget about ‘fuck movies.’ Fuck TV. TV ruined my childhood. And adulthood.

  • Maul Blart movie or Fat guys hand in blender movie?
    We call them movies now btw? Who should we sue!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    At least George Lucas didn’t rape your TV. Wait, he did, with ‘Young Indiana Cash Grab’.

  • Ren1

    Mike: Filmakers?
    Jay: LOL

    My favorite part.

  • AnalogyShark

    #FatFuckShame is trending on twitter now.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Mercifully, I was too young for that to affect my psyche

  • Wicked Ricky

    So is #paulblart. Because people suck.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    There were some ok episodes, it just didn’t have the charm of Indy. Pretty much it was flat down the middle of entertainment, not great, not bad, just passed the time.

  • Wicked Ricky

    The purgatory of entertainment.

  • I lost my pink ball. Havent seen it since Disney took over. I think Palpy keeps it in his spacewell. Murdering thieving cloaked Sithlords are always suspects

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Yeah, it’s up there with all the unforgettable forgettable shows like… uh, um… So, how’s that new Jurassic World trailer, they got the Dinosaurs, and Starlord.

  • Bubs

    I’m not complaining. But this is a strange time for a content release.
    #IStillLoveYou

  • I dont think they hear you here. Ask on the Patreon page

  • J Aaron Hager

    Jokes on you dipshits! SKYPE PAID FOR THE MOVIE!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Not in the Galactic Republic, when the guy that looks like death comes out and says “I killed all the Jedi, cos’ reasons, you don’t need the details, just trust me?” and gets a round of applause, you can’t really say he’s the suspect of anything.

  • Shhhh. You anger the gods

  • Wuuuuaaaat!?

  • Wicked Ricky

    This is how democracy dies. With the thunderous applause of a laugh track.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I’m glad they did, cos I ain’t paying for that movie.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • Wicked Ricky

    They’re too big to care what we think.

  • Wicked Ricky

    How does Skype have money if I never pay for anything?

  • Hmmmm. Was the movie that dumb? Yes. I suppose. Lets pray JJ makes a good series of SW movies

  • Ren1

    Advertising right?

  • J Aaron Hager

    Ask Twitter.

  • VHS repairmen live like kings

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    JJ can make a visually perfect movie, the problem is the script. Take Trek II, Into Reference, it looks like a good film, it acts like one, but the script is a batshit insane cobbled together mess from previous Trek. It’s like Gary Busey wrote a script for Trek, and somebody accepted it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Great every time I shit now a picture of that girl is gotta pop out. Shit

  • Wicked Ricky

    It’s those rich hipsters, always paying to have their obsolete electronics restored.

  • Whats with the fancy rolling VHS tape? Isnt that expensive?

  • Wicked Ricky

    I tried. All I got was an angry, misspelled response.

    Maybe I should post post dick pics. That would make me popular, right?

  • Ren1

    Wondered that myself, first time it’s been used.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    That’s Patreon at work. On the bright side, as it’s now on VHS, you can rewind it if you don’t like it in order to unwatch it.

  • nat

    I laughed so hard at this episode that I shit my pants. Please don’t cyberbully me

  • Wicked Ricky

    VHS is the Dead Sea Scrolls of modern media. It has to be protected and carefully restored.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Shit, you’re right.

  • nat

    ((cyberbullying is a very serious issue))

  • Robby

    The men are pawns!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    So are hemorrhoids.

  • I feel bluerays are obsolete nowadays. I stream all my movies.

  • Oh good, I am not the only person who saw the “Unfriended” trailer and thought it looked laughably stupid. When that thing came out I kept seeing status updates and comments talking about how it looked terrifying, and I have been seeing glowing reviews and I thought I had slipped into an alternate dimension.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s already up on youtube, skype, facebook, 9gag, myspace, and my grandma’s shelf of baby elephant figurines.

    Sorry about that.

  • Voodoo magic or CGI? Cool effect tou

  • Robby

    It was in the last episode too, once they uploaded to YouTube. My/Our guess was because of YouTube’s retarded content ID system, so their videos don’t get flagged for using audio and video from the movies they’re reviewing.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Movies are obsolete. I could make my own with an editing program, clips of Michael bay movies, and sound FX pulled from the internet. That’s how Youtube works.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    No, not an alternate dimension, just the sad reality of today’s film industry. The land where 12 hour film adaptions of a single 300 page novel can occur, comic books rule the charts, sequels, remakes and reboots are everything, and when there is a new idea, it’s almost certain to suck.

  • Ren1

    It was? Huh. Rewatching now. 😀

  • Guest

    …LIGHTS OUT

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Oddly enough, that’s also how Michael Bay makes his own movies, by editing previous Michael Bay movies, and stealins sounds from the internet.

  • But the trailers find them selves to atleast 10 more channels. Its common sense that its a good pr thing. Even for artistic films like Blart blart.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    There should have been shit in that blender, and sprayed everywhere as the fat dude screamed.

    Funniest scene in Paul Blart Mall Cop 2, if I do say so myself.

  • empathylouis

    “Don’t you got anything better to do?”
    NOPE!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    ….hang on, I’m just registering the domain IlaughedsohardatthisepisodethatIshitmypants.org

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #ShamingShaming

  • Wicked Ricky

    Wasn’t there a futuristic movie about this dystopia? I think it was called ‘Red Letter Media.’

  • nat

    nobody will be able to hear your screams on the world wide web

  • Ren1

    Going to the movies is certainly out right?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    But they will hear you shitting yourself.

  • Robby

    They originally posted the episode to Blip. That version doesn’t have the effect, which is probably why you didn’t notice it. They then replaced it I think the following day with the YouTube version. But yeah I had the same reaction. I only noticed it the second time I watched the Chappie review because by then it was the YouTube upload.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    It’s a crossover with KILL BIKE.

  • empathylouis

    Wow, gold jackets, a ghetto blaster, and a perpetually rolling VHS tape (and thousands of pairs of pants for Mike)! The Red Letter Media Gang must be living the high life now.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Because a ghost stole the volume slider, and put the sound on mute.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    That’s racist, you misogynist, whale slaughtering Hummer driving fuck!

  • Wicked Ricky

    He doesn’t even have the class to steal from others.

  • …. I am green… definitly strait…

  • Ren1

    Kinda sucks that it makes some clips smaller. Ah well.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Dude, ghosts aren’t scary anymore, they’re just mildly inconvenient. “Oh no, my Skype isn’t working! Meh, I’ll just drive to my mates and have that beer anyway.”

  • blue

    Holy fuck, these hack fuck frauds are alive. Actual new content. *rubs one out ferociously*

  • this

  • Earthbound_X

    Wow, just got down watching all the old ones again and this pops up, nice.

  • Rewatch coming up.
    #notice #brain

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Didn’t you notice, Transformers 3 and 4 are the same movie, and if you look really closely at scene 28A, there’s clearly footage from The Rock spliced in there. Or not, I don’t really care.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What are you? A goddamn nazi? Is that your elf?

  • Wicked Ricky

    I thought it was an energy drink commercial the whole time.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I like the cut of your jib. Let’s be friends.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I think that it makes sense for a group of friends to be entirely made-up of awful, nasty people. It’d be weird if out of the 5 or 6 one of them is a decent person. Why would that person be friends with so many assholes? It’s problematic in a movie because it doesn’t give you anyone to relate or root for, but it is sorta realistic.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #ScarredLipShaming

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    #NaziRapeExperimentShaming

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’s not even a joke. There are shots from Bad Boys 2 and The Island recycled in some of the Transformers movies.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #KarenOObessessionShaming

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    It could have been, I think I was suffering from an epileptic seizure brought on by what was happening on the screen at the time. Yup, so far as I know, it was 2 and a half hours of something, whilst I shook on the floor like Mohammed Ali in a freezer.

  • A 30 million dollar film and no poop in the blender. Forshame SonyPictures.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Because that person is desperate for acceptance, and needs to feel wanted.

    Haven’t you ever seen an ABC after-school special?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I wonder if Tommy the Mailman filmed that one scene where Mike and Jay barfed all over themselves and rolled in Fake Plinkett’s defective colostomy bag.

    Mailman Tommy would post the video on youtube, but instead of causing great shame to Mike and Jay for being so rude to him, they land a movie contract with Happy Madison productions to film “Colostomy Irrigation: The Musical.”

    Jessi would do the sound effects for a cool $10 million, and Mike and Jay would use their $10 million in V-World: Matrix on hookers, beer, crack, and pizza rolls.

    Mailman Tommy dies in shame, never able to have the Carrie moment he so craved.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    #ExistenceShaming

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #OmittedShaming

  • nat

    You just put forth more thought and effort than both of these films

  • Hank_Henshaw

    True dat.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Quick question, if they end up in V-World, do they have to drink from polystyrene cups still?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Oh, hey Candy Girl

  • Wicked Ricky

    Those must be the Microsoft Clip Art of movies. Easy to recycle, and no one will question why they seem familiar.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    #HastagShaming

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Michael Bay would do an amazing version of the Incredible Bulk.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I think Mike and Jay make the polystyrene cups into insulation to prevent ice dams from forming in their new V-World houses.

    They’re smart like that.

  • Brendan

    WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?! WE WANT MORE PLINKETT REVIEWS!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY!?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #DisqusShaming

  • Wicked Ricky

    We all put forth more effort into our morning constitutional than these movies. Because we care about the destination of the output.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Thank the Nyquil. This shit makes the magic happen!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    That’s nice, but is that going to help them when they find out that the V-world facility they are trapped in is located on a dormant volcano that a company has been pouring nuclear waste into?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yeah, Paul Blerp: Derp Derp deserves to be enjoyed in the biggest screen possible. To appreciate the cinematography, for starters.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    There’s also some corn in the shit.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    #InfiniteShaming

  • Ren1

    #GlassHalfFull

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #ElizabethPornShaming

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “Why the fuck not? Destruction and explosions are destruction and explosions. No one will be able to tell the difference.”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Mike and Jay can fight back using cold fusion, even though that’s not how it works, but mass audiences don’t know that and will just go along with it anyway.

    Besides, Mike and Jay died from green gas and came back with only mild tumors growing on their spines. They’ll be fine.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Hollywood has purchased the rights to Plinkett, in order to make a series of films and spin offs, as they are so low on ideas that they are rebooting Plinkett.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #CapslockShaming

  • Wicked Ricky

    Even Star Rek: Genital Mutilations did it.

  • Ren1

    How are they supposed to do that floating dangerously high over Chicago?

  • Hhmm. Needs more fat people falling over and also not enough Sandler cameos. Hookers, beer, crack, and pizza rolls could be a catchy tune but I would ad a few oh’s and groins just to be on the safe side.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    #Lackofpunctuationshaming

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Can Emma Stone just show up in a cop car to save them because ‘she knows the grid’?

  • Wicked Ricky

    I’d watch this over Jurassic Park 4: Kids Love Dinosaurs So Much They Have No Idea How Brutal That Time Must Have Been.

  • Wicked Ricky

    That’s how Oprah does it.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Wasn’t it Jack that said in one of the streams that Kevin James comes from stand-up comedy? That he was actually pretty decent in that, which makes him even more of a sell out? I think it was Jack.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #NoSpacesShaming

  • #UsingLongHastagShaming

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Was Shoji Tabuchi performing in Ball Plapt Mall Blart 2?

  • Wicked Ricky

    If you were a starving comic (Kevin James? Starving LOL!) wouldn’t you sell out too if it meant feeding your massive belly/family?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s just the tune for a Betty Ford Clinic commercial.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    It’s not the same tho, Plinkett is now ‘user friendly’. They brought a Special Edition, featuring new digitally enhanced footage. Nadine has been replaced by a walkie talkie, and Plinkett no longer swears.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    She’s dangerously high for other reasons.

    Those reasons are Red Tails.

  • I’M SO SICK OF YOU LIBTARDS

  • Its only ok to bully fat people. You know cus they have bad balance and have many blender accidents. Hollywood does set that standard.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    There’s nothing in that movie made by NASA.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And no Jeffrey Dahmer

  • I don’t know, I think in the theaters they tell you not to record… Maybe that’s why?

  • Wicked Ricky

    Next you’ll tell me he doesn’t even have anything bad to say about the prequels.

  • blue

    Just accept they are busy doing a full length feature film. All content will take a hit while their money and time goes towards wrapping that up. They just have to be careful that they don’t get sucked into this where it takes 5-6 years. That’s what happened to AVGN. His full length film became a major undertaking that sucked him in and it impacted all his content in a big way. Less overall content (frequent content), then the more likely fans move on and hits/support dwindles. 2 years isnt bad. But 4-5 is pushing it. At least they are doing Half in The Bag and Best of the Worst.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Pssh. Sellouts.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    What was bad about them?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Holy shit (insert screencap)! I thought the Paul Blart 2 reaction videos were doctored for comedic effect. Nope! They are real. D-: FUCK!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thank you, ironic fandom of Baul Plart Call Mop

    https://youtu.be/U2hiK_tpBFU

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Maybe all the producers have battery acid in their brains.

    Then Jeffrey Dahmer is there in spirit, at least.

  • Wicked Ricky

    I want to say Paul Cop Mall Fart: Episode II isn’t worth taping by a bum, but I know I’m wrong.

  • It is is a NASA manufactured violin is involved.

  • Wicked Ricky

    I’d watch that over anything Happy Madison does these days.

  • FiachSidhe

    I loved Paul Marlboro Cop. Up yours, everyone.

  • blue

    To those saying it makes sense for friends to be shitty to each other, sure. But then the film has to go more into the cyber bullying plot which they really didn’t do. So it’s just a bunch of shitty unpleasant people without really going into how and why teens cyber bully even when it’s their own friends.

    Yeah yeah, it’s a horror film. Fair enough. Not asking for a masterpiece. They still could have done more with it.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Dude, are you that surprised? There’s a fan site for Episode 1…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t want to think about Kevin James being a sex slave zombie, Domo.

  • Shoji is too big for hollywood. He is the emperor of Bronson Missouri.

  • FiachSidhe

    Paul Barf Ball Mop

  • Robby

    Watching the Phantom Menace review on YouTube is horrifying. I can’t tell how many of the negative comments are meant to be ironic and how many are just stupid fanboy apologists.

  • Bubs

    Cyberbullying isn’t real and neither are ghosts. #GhostShaming

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Episode I is related to Star Wars, like it or not. Paul Blart 2 is the sequel to Paul Brlap 1. There’s a little difference.

  • Stop with the cyberbullying

  • Wicked Ricky

    That I spent money on Episode III.

  • Ren1

    They had a chance to say something relevant about the “issue” and missed the mark completely, money may have spoiled this I guess.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Then why is he coming to Wisconsin of all places?

  • Wicked Ricky

    I think the idea here is movies won’t be good, then ironic fans will have to MAKE them good by the sheer force of will.

  • Eh… I have no joke for that one.

  • I’m gonna haunt the f@#$ out of you on Skype.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    He needs to check his privilege and get back in the toll booth.

  • Wicked Ricky

    He was secretly invited by RLM to appear on Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst.

  • blue

    Yeah. Thing is, even if they didn’t want to make a serious film about cyber bullying (in the right hands, a good psychological drama/thriller could really be done on the subject), they could have still made a schlocky/teen horror film and have a little bit of that psychological element to it to flesh it out. But the film was just a lazy effort.

  • And soon to be Mars. I hear he’s got NASA’s ear.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m still undecided on if the people protesting that Plinkett is a serial killer that uploads videos of killing cats to youtube, asking everyone to flag the videos, are being serious or are in with the joke.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Youtube is the Third Reich of the internet.

  • If that happens my wombspace will be rapidly oxygenated.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “All Mall Cops are CIS scum”
    -tumblr

  • Wicked Ricky

    CIS scum? Just because they aren’t trained in forensics doesn’t mean they can’t do capable detective work.

  • Ren1

    Having not seen the film myself, it looks like cynical garbage that could have, like you said, more artfully made a contribution to the discussion.

  • Robby

    I guess nothing’s shocking anymore. There are so many comments similar to “Cuban Missile Crisis in World War 1? Uhhhh…? He’s about forty years off.”

  • Why? What is wrong with these people? Do they really think it’s funny?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVwnOM1Dook

  • I loved how all the poll quotes for Unfriended were from like two guys in publications that nobody has ever heard of. That’s the sign of quality.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Someone did. There is a sequel to Paul Blarttttttt AND Groan Pullups.

  • A friend of mine: “This guy doesn’t even know basic history, can you really trust his movie analysis?”

  • Go to 28:17. Youtube did not pick up on my timecode.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Yes, because I agree with him, so he’s right.

  • CSI = Crime Scene Investigation

    CIS = Confederacy of Independent Systems (Star Wars)

  • I just dont understand for real.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Or just have something build up with random images about how they were friends in childhood, how they did everything together as a way to guilt-trip them, rather than be on just a revenge streak.

    They could have shown video of the kids hanging out with other and their parents, and someone’s mother kills herself out of shame or something freaky like that. The ghost probably didn’t need to do anything physical in the hands of a good screenwriter. Guilt can go a long way if done right.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Hank_Henshaw

    Could be a hipster thing. Right?

  • Bubs

    It’s like a magic trick. Don’t look at the people in the foreground, they’re just there to distract you.

    Look at all the people in the background. One guy smiles for about .3 seconds, and it’s GONE. In the other clip, all the people in the background are just thinking about how they want to die.

  • Andrew Fullerton

    Wait… Unfriended ISN’T a comedy?

  • Wicked Ricky

    You fucking neckbeard. Why would you think I want to talk about Star Wars? I was talking about a show that stopped respecting its viewers after season 2.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Who would be a rule 63 version of Blart Mall Paul Cop?

  • James Earl Jones

    Can’t wait for the 10 hour edit of Mike’s laughter.

  • Still could be Star Wars if you switched season to movie…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You talkin’ shit about Star Wars?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Melissa McCarthy. Too easy.

  • I dont think so. I think when Mike adds a fart sound to some of their videos its funny but Blart falling and Sandler farting is just something I seriously dont get.

  • I’m… failing to see what you are trying to say…

  • Wicked Ricky

    Someone is making $$$ off these movies. We’re complaining about it on the internet.

    One of these two categories is in the wrong business.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa
  • Taunting an entropy-drunk Mike, just detonated all his beautiful misogyny-hangover.
    Thanks JB, for poking Grumpy Bear.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A 90’s Maul Pall Bop Clart then

  • Death? Sounds like a good deal.

  • James Earl Jones
  • Thats seems to be like alot of work.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Star Wars talked shit about Star Wars.

  • Ren1

    I get all crabby with my sister for her taste in movies, she thought the movie was scary. I do not understand either. Baffling.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Whatever, you brony bastard

  • Damn. Stupid Boyhood. I mean damn. They should give me money for complaining. #include in obamacare

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Mind you, I thought she was good in St. Vincent (even if that movie is completely owned by Bill Murray). I don’t understand why she keeps doing the “I’m fat and pratfalls” comedy. I mean, she and her husband decided to produce a movie vehicle for her, she called all the shots, and what they came up with was “Tammy”. What?

  • The Wynn casino also had an adult pool with naked lady statues in it.. Not sure if it is still there…

  • Teen?

  • Bubs
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Noooooooooo I was asking who would be a rule 63 Baul Mlart in the 90’s

  • Ren1

    25. The other night I go to grab a beer and her and a friend are catching up on the Fast and Furious series. I had some words with her.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Someone* probably knocked over the statues in a drunken stupor, never to be seen again.

    *Mike.

  • Oh. Cheapskates. But understandable.

  • Wicked Ricky

    That’s Kevin James laughing his wads of cash to the bank.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Fat women were illegal in 90s movies.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mom jeans weren’t sadly.

  • Ren1

    Mom jeans are close to coming back around and being hot again, at least for me.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Kirstie Alley?

  • After he lost all of the RLM Patreon donations.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You find mom jeans attractive? But we have Yoga pants! Yoga pants!

  • Wicked Ricky

    No a woman, not a Scientologist.

  • Ren1

    I know! They are EVERYWHERE, life can be wonderful sometimes.

  • Bubs

    Hey Guys, did you hear about the new Adam Sandler movie coming out?
    http://p3.no/filmpolitiet/adam-sandler-movie-maker/?plot=5537385ac8335&lang=en

    *SPOILERS* He pulls himself together and emerges a better person.

  • Wicked Ricky

    He didn’t lose them. They’re all safely tucked away in the thong a male exotic dancer.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Do you think Rebel Wilson does a better job of the whole “Fat Comic”? I think her Fat Amy bit is clever, and I liked her in Pitch Perfect.

    “What’s your name?”
    “Fat Amy.”
    “You call yourself Fat Amy?”
    “Yeah so twig bitches like you don’t go behind my back.”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    What about Roseanne Barr?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Unfortunately for my fetishes there aren’t enough women like Karen O

  • Known as Rich Evans.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Says the brony bastard

  • Omg. That is a sad state to be in.
    #toad tears for real

  • Bubs

    Rebel Wilson was great in Super with Ellen Page. I thought it was kind of weird when she raped him though.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Haven’t seen that movie. Did see the trailer for the sequel. I’m gonna pass.

  • Wicked Ricky

    What I do with cartoons in my spare time is my business. Now excuse me while I go complain men’s rights on Facebook.

  • Ren1

    He does this thing with a droid from Star Wars. So hot.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Oh, that’s totally fine. I just like Rebel because she doesn’t rely on her size for all her humor.

  • Sleverin

    When they reviewed that Wayans Brothers found footage film and there was a scene of a “ghost” appearing in the sheets with a fart sound, I thought RLM added that. I laughed so hard for about a minute until I realized: it wasn’t added to make the movie seem more stupid, that was the actual joke. My face immediately slumped into a Rich Evans face of nonmedy and I now regret laughing at the real joke.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fine, let me obsess over fire princesses who are underage by hot….that didn’t come out right.

  • Yoga pants? The Osteoporosis dance and wombspaces immidiatly comes to mind. Damn that BotW WotW! It ruined my brain.

  • Caustic Vapors

    No!!!! Why didn’t you do Kingsman… or anything else! Oh, well, I guess your pain may be my gain. I’ll check it out- but I certainly was going to avoid both those flicks anyhow.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    For real. I thought those reaction videos were like the “Rich Evans reacts to the Holocaust”. You know, grab a real reaction video to, say… something like Star Wars or whatever, and inserted a clip of Paul Blart. Nope. Those reaction videos are real. Further proving that reaction video “performers” are shamelessly playing it up for the camera.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    NOOOOO! DAMN YOU! Now when I think of Yoga Pants all I think about is Linda and Betty being taught by Tay “Old Camel Feet” Zonday! That’s it, you’re not gonna be in my rewrite of Episode 1.

  • Sounds like a certain John Goodman movie ripoff.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    That’s the new ride at Disneyland, I think.

    The kids are gonna love it.

  • Ren1

    I hadn’t really fully thought through the implications of Disney owning Star Wars. Wow.

  • Bubs

    No. All of Adam Sandler’s movies are completely original plots. They are meticulously written over a weekend by a team of baby geniuses.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If they were going to do that then they might have had to watch Fifty Shades of Fuck Everyone Who Lives In The Northwest Especially Me. I watched that for everyone here by the way.

  • Ren1

    I’m sorry.

  • Alex Lee

    First off, I am surprised they even went to see Mall Blart, Paul Cop. I thought it would get the Transformers 4 treatment and this review would be 15 minutes.

    As far as I understand, back on King of Queens, Kevin James was just a sclub who had a wife that was way out of his league. The comic relief character was typically Jerry Stiller (makes sense) and most of the characters were straightmen of varying degrees. I think this is the reason why Kevin James isn’t funny, because he was never really a bumbling, fat comic relief in the first place; he was just a bumbling husband that happens to be fat.

  • What about Episode 1? Bad CGI, terrible plot, horrible characters and spacetrading. Go ahead kill me allready. I mean LOOK AT ME! *sobs and snivels*

    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71wRx%2BBJisL._SY355_.jpg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m single, I went on my own accord.

  • Alex Lee

    Exactly. It seemed like a movie that should have given her some dignity.

  • Wicked Ricky

    The writing saved that show from being forgettable (and canceled after 4 episodes). The characters were nothing special, except Jerry Stiller’s.

    Also the American viewers’ taste for mediocrity and familiarity. That helped.

    Edit: Fuck, what am I becoming? I sound like a spiteful old man pining for the better days of classic television.

    I should drink more.

  • Fifty Shades of Christian Middle Aged House Wives Pretending To Be Offended By Something That They Wish Their Husbands Would Do.

  • That’s gonna be great.

  • Wicked Ricky

    She was likable in the 90s, before she sacrificed her soul to the gods of social justice.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I have a history of Kevin James that won’t go off topic. I didn’t like Kevin James in King of Queens all that much. Jerry Stiller for me was the best part of the show. He was okay in Hitch but Will Smith was the star, that was his movie. He was in that POS animated movie Barnyard when he voiced a male cow with an udder. I don’t know how that works, maybe he’s a tranny or something. I won’t know til I pull his skirt off in the alley. Anyways the only other thing I have seen him in is Grown Ups 2 which I followed Jay’s Jack and Jill check list. Watching that film I wanted to die, no I’m not joking. It felt like during watching the film and after their was nothing to help except for my then girlfriend who then held me as I wept for humanity. I…I don’t want to talk about Grown Ups 2.

  • Ren1

    I was going to see that or that Kingsmen movie with a new girlfriend, after she looked into them she chose Kingsmen haha. We just went to my place after dinner instead. That was a good night.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fine, you’ll be in but I’ll try to make you human and skinny.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Rich Evans will cut the kids down like butter.

    They’re pretty useless, actually.

  • Bubs

    I’m not sure middle-aged Christian housewives really want their husbands to wrap a belt around their ***** and jam a 12 inch ** ** *** ** ****** **** ****** while a **** ******* and ranch dressing ***** ******** ***** **** *** in the back of *** *** ** *********** *** ** ***** with a whip while ** *** ******* ****** ***** and reading Moby ****.

    But maybe I’m wrong.

  • I want to see “Children of the Corn 6: The Internet Age” now.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fifty Shades of Horrible Unrealistic Dialogue That’s Worse Than George Lucas Has Ever Written and A Romance Dumber Than Padme and Anakin’s

  • Ren1

    He’s a unique anomaly to Mike and Jay it seems.

  • Wicked Ricky

    No one would die because no one would leave the house.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Written and directed by Elaine May

  • 1337 Skeet

    Kevin James was actually a famous stand up comedian back in the day

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re not using enough British slang despite that fact you’re supposed to be American

  • Ren1

    Everything was good back in the day.

  • I liked King of Queens. Watched it as a wee lad. Ofcourse Jerry Stiller was in it also and that makes a huge difference.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m too busy as an actor and writer to do things with other people. You might think that I did because maybe my previous girlfriends were actors/writers too but no they we’re all musicians in bands.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “My left nut’s more famous than Jerry Stiller”

  • Nosferatu: OnePlus invite to hell.

  • Wicked Ricky

    I want Ranch dressing.

  • Ren1

    I hope they knew how to play the skin flute at least…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Omitted called, he wants his joke back.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Yeah Jay, someone was definitely called a cocksucking slut. Oh, in the movie? Who knows/scares…

  • I saw you the other day in Inherent Vice. Good film man!

  • Bubs

    Jerry Stiller’s left nut is more famous than he is.
    http://i.forbesimg.com/media/lists/people/ben-stiller_416x416.jpg

  • Whats up with the all the wierd names?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You leave my mother out of this.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Hey, is it my fault that she has acquired a certain reputation?

  • They just THINK they want it.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    At least she could afford a cooling rack for her buns because of her skills.

    Ohhhhhhhh.

  • Fifty Shades of Angry Tweets From People Offended By R-rated Movies But Also Watch Porn.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Insulting yourself now?

  • Caustic Vapors

    Like Jay, I laughed my ass off at the trailer in the theater, much to my friend’s chagrin. But no way in hell am I going to submit myself to 80 mins of that crap.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Oh snap!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fifty Shades of Stupid People Rushing to See Extreme Softcore Porn on The Big Screen When Porn Hub is Free

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You ain’t all that and a bag of potato chips, but my mother is!

  • Thanatos2k

    Mmmmm, love me some hack fraud takedown of shitty Adam Sandler scams.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I wear the title as a badge of honor.

  • Goliath

    What’s with this new outro and VHS scene for movie clips? Are you hacks finally going pro?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    They didn’t even bother with using quotes around “Scam” or saying allegedly after each insult.

    Everyone knows it now, and my guess is that it’s fun to hate Adam Sandler because of HiTB.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I bet she’s really popular, being able to cool her rack on her buns and whatnot.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    porno*

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I don’t even know how she does it. Maybe they’ll show it in that reboot She’s All That. We can watch it together and learn something!

  • Goliath

    Hey omitted did they ever open your package?

  • Thanatos2k

    Skype got bought by Microsoft. They have lots of money to make mediocre movies with.

  • Bubs

    It’s fun to hate Adam Sandler because he makes George Lucas look like Alfred Hitchcock.

  • Thanatos2k

    I never thought I’d say it, but now I want the episodes on Blip. Fuck Youtube.

  • Ren1

    I would accept more offers from people to go to these shitty movies if I had that handy device from Click.

  • Thanatos2k

    So is blood in your stool. Did you check?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I bet Jay threw it straight (pun intended) into the furnace. To avoid contagion. Clever girl!

  • Wicked Ricky

    What handy device? David Hasselhoff? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0389860/?ref_=nv_sr_1

  • Sleverin

    “…so she can do whatever she wants to people. Through computers.”

    So somehow this was less comprehensible than Death Spa while also having a seemingly larger budget? Also, when was the last time anyone saw a movie that was less than 90 minutes? What is this, Shoot ‘Em Up?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    You can tell she’s a dancer. Birth AND Osteoporosis.

  • Ren1

    Can I Click through my visit to that site too? Ooh! I can!

  • Thanatos2k

    I’ve shown my parents a few Redlettermedia videos, and they are completely unable to understand the sarcasm and subtext. They take everything they say at face value.

  • It takes place in an internet cafe where people disappear when they go to the gender neutra-loo.

  • Thanatos2k

    Rosanne Barr. Another comedian who I’m not entirely sure what people find funny about her.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    “Crazy Fat Ethel 2” was just 60 minutes.

    There was even a porno scene for people with a 3 Musketeers bar fetish.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I made a reaction erection video to this episode of Half in the Bag. I’ll post it online only if Jay asks for it specifically.

  • Wicked Ricky

    The homeless men who use internet cafes aren’t disappearing. They’re slipping out the windows to avoid the fees.

  • Thanatos2k

    No, there’s still stupid people who like him. I saw comments on other sites excited about his shitty video game movie. EXCITED!

  • Ren1

    What a timely theme for a new movie! Man he’s good!

  • Thanatos2k

    So if they missed the Sea-sorry, Chicago Bears Tower, are they just going to float back to Milwaukee and this hack fraudery can go full circle? Or will they float to New Jersey and crash into real Plinkett’s house?

  • Thanatos2k

    The most pathetic thing of all is it’s a rip off of a short someone else had already made!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    29:17 We need a gif, stat!

  • Ren1

    Where the next Plinkett review is revealed? I think you just brought a little hope to a lot of people sir.

  • Sleverin

    True, but…okay I don’t know this but did Death Spa get released in theaters? That’s my only reaction to Crazy Fat Ethel 2. The fact that VHS exist of that is amazing but Death Spa is on Blu Ray.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Maybe Space Cop saves them, which will be the catalyst for announcing their new movie.

    They just don’t know when it’s going to be ready or released, so they’ll probably be stuck in the balloon house for a few more years at least.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    NSA*

  • Thanatos2k

    That would be too perfect, and imply some sort of planning out the plot on their part, and we know THAT isn’t happening

  • Sleverin

    I could use more jokes of them repairing douchebag hipster VCRs simply based on the fact that apparently hipsters are actually trying to bring back VHS tapes now. Life is imitating art and its depressingly hilarious.

  • Dave Ciampa

    Oh my God. I recognize that you’re not trying to say that Rob Schneider is good in any way, but he’s so bad that only bad things should be said when referencing him. If you’re going to say, “At least… (Rob Schneider)” then the only reasonable positive premise to follow is, “is likely to die pretty soon because either his own stupidity will get him killed, or he’ll tell a joke that is so bad that a local passerby will have no choice but to murder him.”

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    #justhomo

  • Wicked Ricky

    And vinyl records. Hipsters love vinyl records.

    Imagine listening to Skrillex on a 17 inch piece on linoleum.

    Wait, don’t imagine that.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I would like to know if Jay would do me.

  • Joe

    Ads at the end of videos now?

    Hack frauds confirmed. You are no better than paul blart mall blart call bart

  • Ren1

    That makes me sick and disappointed and angry. Yuck.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Patreon only pays for beer. They have liquor to buy too.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Apparently their core demographic was here to enjoy it. And I’m not part of it. *sobs*

  • Sleverin

    I like vinyl too which I can’t even say out loud anymore. It makes me sound like a hipster.

  • Ren1

    Their attempt to secure some funding from Wynn Resorts was unsuccessful. They had to do something…

  • Red Skeleton

    HA! You hack frauds credit Rich Evans even though he wasn’t in this ep-… Oh, wait, no you didn’t……. Well fuck.

  • Bubs

    I literally couldn’t stop myself.

    My conversion to the Dark Side is complete.

    http://gifmaker.cc/PlayGIFAnimation.php?folder=2015042118VCnqvhP4peoeh4RaQCSTcv&file=output_y2OUEr.gif

  • Angry Picard

    “Villains who twirl their moustaches are easy to spot. Those who clothe themselves in good deeds are well-camouflaged”

    -Jean-Luc Picard, “The Drumhead”

  • pete smith

    Is unfriended like my favorite mtv show where two homos stalk people using facebook? That show is so great.

  • Powny Tail

    this episode of HitB is so sad, it feels forced and soulless. I feel sorry for Jay and Mike, they seemed wrongly touched by this films.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    welcome to the dark side.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yay content!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    drunk*

  • It was probably part of the point – soulless movies, soulless review. Either that or they’re trying to kill HitB.

  • Alex

    Fun fact – the director of Unfriended played one of the main characters in a Soviet sci-fi comedy named Kin-Dza-Dza. That movie is a cult classic in former Soviet republics.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Levan_Gabriadze

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i am partial to dark rum.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    and beard combs for Jay.

  • CynicalOptimist22 .

    I hope Happy Madison gets blarted in their blarts with Blart shoved up their blarts while being blarted by a blart before blarting all over each other’s blarts and finishing with a Blart to their blarting blarts

  • David

    I think their videos might have been at risk of getting flagged for having unedited footage in them before, even if it was just from trailers.

  • David

    It’s not a rip-off, they bought the rights to the concept from him. Of course, HIS movie was essentially the same thing as a scene from a Futurama episode…

  • Barrabit

    I used to watch King of Queens to figure out the appeal, if there was any. The show had one formula….. Kevin James’ character was fat, and had other bad habits that ought to earn him divorce from his ridiculously good looking wife, but every episode, instead of changing his ways, he finds out something about his wife that makes her a hypocrite, and so she agrees that he doesn’t have to change his repulsive ways, like his porn watching, or his lousy eating habits. He’s like the anti Ralph Kramden.

    His movie “The Zookeeper” took this formula and made it a little more palatable….. the character starts off as a lowly but happy zookeeper, and is nagged by his girlfriend into becoming a used car salesman, the message being that one is just fine the way one is and one shouldn’t try to change or improve. But as I said, the premise actually works in this film.

    I don’t know if this is a continuing theme in Kevin James films or Happy Madison productions, but it’s one I deplore, but also one I can see as being a very popular one.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the hollwould lawyers have automated software that make it rain… DMCA’s.
    its easier this way.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    take that bit and loop it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the last time I’ve seen Jay commenting here was when he scolded people for the GIF wars. So you either create controversy or keep the vid for yourself.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Off to see a little art-house film called Avengers: Age of Ultron. You’ve probably never even heard of it.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    cummenting*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I’ve been waiting for Lars Von-Triririeirie’s: Violent Enema.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    HAHAHAHAHAH!
    fuck you every country not Torrenting enough. because….

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3044454/Do-Australians-pay-Netfllix-video-piracy-rates-high-CFO-says-company-sets-prices-according-stealing-going-on.html

    also they made a deal with all out ISP’s to get their content unmetered!
    sooooo…. Fuck copyright, fuck piracy and fuck?! i have to go and watch everything i have never seen for $20 a month. suck it the rest of the world!

  • Now, there’s an idea. TO THE TORRENTMOBILE!

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    is mikes hashtagging a call to Pa kentma kettlemaybalinegrum pa. to come home?
    or a celebration of his deciding to not comment?
    help me Science!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    your final task is to kill all the people who are against gifs and media posting! hahahahaha!
    oh wait there isnt anyone…

    (Truthfully i now only click on links that the comment makes me want too. it saves time, but…..)

  • Kaingerc

    jeez, they actually went and watched malb blarp: bral barp 2

  • Sotos Oik

    Sure, we got to know you from the plinkett reviews, but we stayed because you guys have interesting comments about movies and provide a comfy analysis of filmmaking.

    Why then would you keep watching shit you know is gonna be shit like PaulMallBlartLard? You don’t have to torture yourselves. Just watch what interests you.
    A movie that seems great but doesn’t work like Inherent Vice makes for a far more interesting subject than cannedfuckblartfuck.

  • tOmy`

    I love this. I am 48 seconds in and I already laughed out loud twice.

    Which is, oddly, very similar to what my ex used to say…

  • tOmy`

    So… do you think turning your laptop off or getting a flexible IP would solve the Baghul-in-the-machine issue?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i prefer it when the find good movies. i would rather the shit movies be Plinkett or BotW(New Release.)

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the tech support in this movie was useless!
    “have you tried to kill your murderer then revive them?… have you jiggled the knife? it might not be touching the heart…. yes, i’m sorry but most people think the heart is higher and more left than it is…. please dont shout at me!…. i am terminating this call…..” click*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i liked my. Mall Blart2: BlartMart.

  • Sotos Oik

    BotW(New Release) is a good idea, and I promptly suggest “The Guest” (2014)

  • Andrew Thompson.

    last year too late! but thanks for playing…

  • Mr_Wint

    Yeah!

  • JAGUART

    #HACKFRAUDSHAMING

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    MALL BLART!!!!!!!!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Ok, now I’m confused. Were you a bottom this whole time?! I thought that whole cheerleader-outfit-thing was just a huge bait & switch! And I mean huge. *WINK*

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Oh Andrew… Your avatar is so dark and foreboding now. 😮

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its happening!!!! like werewolves in the full moon. the 25th of august turns all australians in to patriots… duck!

    https://youtu.be/V5ZeJvXTL68

    but really watch this movie for context. into sooooooooo many things.

  • You are a discusting fatbody private Pyle Blart!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    There is a context. FN-89 AusSteyr. australian issue army tent…
    wait how is that worse than the wall of fire?!!!
    thats not photoshop dont make me repost the video!

  • bruce wayne

    This movie is somehow a marketing master piece. I’ve seen three reviews of this stupid ass horror-less movie, and each time critics are congratulating them for thier realism with the computer screens. Even though Mike makes the accurate assessment that this isn’t something we should be aspiring toward in films. But seriously, it’s a movie about staring over someone’s shoulder looking at their screen. I was at least hoping for some Army of Darkness level stupid funny, but not even that. The best thing about this movie is my niece and I came up with an idea for a new horror game called Blender-man. Love your reviews RLM, but this is one time I have to part ways and say to each his own.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    sadly i think that may have been the funnyest thing i ever wrote…. its all down hill from here…

  • tOmy`

    I am a very meta personality.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    fart blart: fart blart, the shitening.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Cheer up, sunshines. I’m sure there’s a good movie coming out just around the corner!

  • tOmy`

    But… but… but they already saw Furious 7…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    your every american woman!… who is a man from eastern europe.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    stop the lies! Brittney is dead leave her alone!!!!!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I always thought that was some kind of glamour shot… Iunno, Aussies are weird.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    *bonks tOmy on the nose* No! Not good! NO!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i striped and rebuilt a steyr in under 10 seconds and then took a selfy. SUE ME!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    use the rolled newspaper!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I’m sure there’s a market for that.

  • tOmy`

    Cheerleaders are immune to newspaper. Because they cannot read.

    #ProfessionShaming

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Sure, let me just call up my INTERNATIONAL LAWYER. *holds up an imaginary phone* ~briiiiing briiiiing~

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    its HUGE!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Noooo, Omy~ There are better ways to get-fucked! Like… lying face-down in an alleyway.

  • Heyooooo!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    BRIIIIING!? Hello Archer it’s an elaborate voicemail hoakes and watch out for Hitler he’s a Bad Egg.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Their dry suffering nourishes my bitter spirit.
    #InternetContentSuccubus

  • Andrew Thompson.

    after shiting your panties on youtube?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i knew it!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Hush now~. *hypnosis spiral*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    “i dont know if what i did was right…. but i did what i thought would make heaps of money”. Holloywould ON DAY ONE!!!!!!!
    and 100 years later its ‘fuck you its year.’

  • Andrew Thompson.

    NOT THE HYPNOGINA!!!
    Omitted save me!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I know that’s why I went to business school!

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Come on now Domo, let’s not be cruel. How about we all chip in and buy them tickets to a screening of Paul Blarp: Mall Blart 2 to cheer them up? Nothing does that like some good yucks.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    they will make that now!! why would your do that!!!?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    What use is it to worry about the whys and wherefores of yours, ours, mys, his, hers, and theirs?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Hey, stop it! …Being a cheerleader hardly counts as a profession.

  • Brian

    They don’t tell jokes in the Circus Circus. It’s more about acrobatics and animals and amazing feats. It’s not really about jokes.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats so Zen.. are you smoking weed?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    ‘Blenderman: Handyman: Farewell to the Fingers’, coming soon to Steam, $14.99.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    No, I drink tea.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    earl grey hot?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Fuck the pain away.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I never say “COME!” to earl grey hot! It’s all plantation mint and green for me. Must be my nostalgia for the good old days of Southern slave fields/Japanese internment camps. Oh, those halcyon days with my many, many half-grand-aunts and uncles…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I think the type of people portrayed in this film would think IP stands for Internet porn and nothing else.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    delete ghost32 file.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    ok me and Piccard would never drink American tea. Ceylon or death!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    You spelled his name wrong! Fake Trekkie!!

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    Mlarp Palrb Garlb Vomit and Exploitation: the Lazyning were pretty goddamn horrible, I would imagine. You frauds should watch something that’s ambitious and well-executed for a change. I heard there are those “indian” and “arthome” films. At least some of them gotta be good, right?

    By the fucking way, I was looking into the fucking Star Wars videogames and fucking discovered these fucking great facts:
    These ************ raped Revan’s character and then killed him.
    Star Wars Battlefront is a multiplayer-only game.
    There is almost certainly going to be yet another The Force Unleashed.
    FUCK

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’m dyslexick! racist!

  • tOmy`

    Yea, well, the dick in my mouth begs to differ!!!

    Wait, what?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    REAVAN WAS A WOMAN. you dick!

  • tOmy`

    Yea, the should definitely get down with their arthomies.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Hey now, Andrew, no one wants to hear about your dyslex life.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    of you got paid for it?…

  • tOmy`

    “What’s your IP?”
    “My IP? No, no, you get it wrong! It was her and she didn’t pee herself, she shat herself. Jeez, you ISP people should get your fuckts straight.”

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I am getting payed by being allowed to be a part of the cheerleading squad. Duh!

    Fucking internet people. You should do some reading about econominanics before you post shit.

    #BitchSlapped

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i know. i just want to be loved. or burn the world… whatever…

  • tOmy`

    Good to know there is more of us who are able to shift the AS curve to the left and then go for a beer because the exam is gonna be oral anyway.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no that should be #bitchshameing.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    omn,omn,omnm oral?

  • tOmy`

    Ok, back to 9/11: I think that the premise behind It Follows While Being Unfriended On My Space is a great idea. But I think it would serve as a better “background” for some hardcore hacker movie. And by that I mean actual hacker movie. Not that “type on keyboard and unicorn appears” kinda movie.

    You could have like 3 screens, one with the code in the center, the one on left being chat (skype, IRC etc.), the one on the right possibly google or wiki, so people understand what is happening in the movie. Winamp is the obvious choice – just make sure to go the House of Cards way and get your info about what hackers listen to.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    It’s well-known that ISP people give zero fucts.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you kids crack me up. we used to break the world with a pay phone and knowing how to whistle.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    then it was all massive lines of code and finding the glitches…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    now its all point and click off the shelf Chinese software.
    we used to know the whole architecture if the internet. now the World Wide Web is full of deadlinks, spam and trolls…. i’m so old that the internet aint what i used to be…..

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Oh no, you did it, DAMN YOUUUU!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    should i blame Andrew now and save time?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    No, we all have to take a little bit of guilt now. We are all, basically, ebola nazis.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    it would have to be called Ebolazi.
    because E-Nazi’s are a thing.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    but i’m a fan of AIDSbola. its fun for all the family.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    My sate government just paid a company $300,000,000AUD to NOT build a road…. take that Africa!… too soon?

  • tOmy`

    “AIDSbola – fun for all the family! Enjoy the typical African past time in your household, without the burden of poverty!”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Racyst!
    RaySys T2: FUCK MOVIES

  • stryker1121

    Mike you homely-shaming shitlord! Fuck you!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That’s what you get for being hip in them social mediums.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I thought they had added a video player graphic inside the VHS graphic. Then I realized it was a part of the movie…

    Oooohhh…

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Robby

    I don’t go in much for horror movies (as opposed to whoreor movies, which make my nips hard), but I was mildly curious about Unfriended after I saw it had a pretty good RottenTomatoes score. But the idea of an invincible, basically omnipresent being that there’s no escaping from just completely kills the tension. Everyone’s going to die, so why bother. I don’t know how these guys can spend so much time working on these reviews of utter shit movies, no pun intended.

  • Like Icare

    That’s the kind of creativity that gets people them Oscars.

  • Like Icare

    Are they gonna build a trampoline instead?

  • Robby

    #ForkShaming

  • Robby

    I just imagined the beautiful awkwardness of Mike and Jay hosting the Academy Awards.

  • Thanatos2k

    Buying the rights because you’re too goddamn lazy to come up with your own movie idea is ripping it off.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no. just more public transport… what ever that is…

  • They’re homeless? I thought they were hipsters! Dang, that’s why they keep asking me for change.

  • Mr_Wint

    For us of course Mr. Robby, sort of like food stamps and state-subsidized benefits; it keeps us from rioting.

  • Captain Turbo

    I predict that there will be a Happy Madison production in a few years where the dialog consists only of the words “fart,” “scrotum,” “dick,” “boobs,” and “poopy.” In the end the guy gets the girl and says, “Boobs? Boobs!” to which she replies, “Fart.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i said save me OMITTED!!!…
    https://youtu.be/-XNFokmDKrE

  • Andrew Thompson.

    why? just curious… Mr Wint.

  • Mr_Wint
  • Andrew Thompson.

    needs moar bewbs.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Andrew, why didn’t you tell us you had a bit part in Rage of Smultron? Or was that Andy Serkis…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i was thinking more scrotie mcboogerballs

  • Mr_Wint

    Why is a good question, Mr. Thompson. Even though they review shit and it doesn’t take an awfully high-IQ to be critical of movies like ^, we can concur with talking guys and confer with anonymous strangers on the altogether meaningless, and forgettable, critique.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Sorry, I just got back from Cage of Fultron.

  • Mr_Wint
  • Like Icare

    Blackhat was pretty good at depicting h4xxx0r1n9.
    Only problem is, the process itself is usually the most boring thing ever.
    Even more today, when the whole “hack the Gibson” thing boils down to getting someone to plug in a USB stick, or open an e-mail attachment.

    Ergo, about a dozen minutes of the movie ends up being a cartoon.
    Also, Thor is not exactly what anyone imagines a 1337 h4xxx0r should look like.

    On a side note, Mann should do Ghost in the Shell or some of the William Gibson books.
    All of his movies have that… streamlined quality present in both Shirow’s and Gibson’s work.
    And he likes that whole “movie about something else” thing, also present with both of them.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    who knows my preciousness. we musts findsss the Jay, yes precious the Jay.. GOLLOM! sorry fish bone….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    derp?

  • Earth

    I would’ve thought social networks in movies would lend themselves more to the psychological thriller genre. You know, modern stories about stalking, cyberbullying, trolling etc, etc.

    Looking at this dumb horror movie, I’m actually surprised more “internet” movies of this kind haven’t been done.

  • Michal Richter

    Countdown to Wynn inc. suing RLM.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yes?

  • Mr_Wint
  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    They do realize in Hollywood that 3D adds to the motion blur, right? And still they make the action scenes clustered as fuck? Whyyyyyyy?!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    was is fast and furious?

  • Mr_Wint

    They’ve been taking notes from Chris Nolan.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    whats with the photo of a horse?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    It was sadly just okay. Second viewing on Monday!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its to cover shit rendering and the fact that CGI cant do camera motion convincingly.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    meh… it will be on tv soon.

  • Mr_Wint

    Actuarry, Transvestite-Donkey Witch wearing a dress.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Too late, I’ve already been ravished by Whedon and company.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    oh Sarah Jurassic-Parker. i remember her… EWWWW!

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I am quite aware of hacking being boring as shit (sorry, Anonymous).
    That’s why thought including two other screens would help a lot – you would have a “main story” going on the middle screen, while the other two would both give audience some human aspect to it (let’s say some arc for a character we see thanks to skype etc.) and at the same time some real information about hacking on the other screen.

    I honestly have no clue if it’s possible to pull it off, I am just dodging work and coming up with crap ideas.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he’s been abusing me since i was in high school.

  • Robby

    #AnonymousShaming

  • Andrew Thompson.

    shhhh some 14 year old might hear you!!!!

  • Robby

    Pls don’t haxorZ me Anon ilysm.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    What was his first offence?

  • Robby

    How was Avnegers 2: Age of oOOoOoooohh?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Buffy. the movie.
    https://youtu.be/wuL7oJA66XI

  • Oh, sweet violent Andrew.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Andrew actually does look a bit like Serkis in that one photo.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    exactalty!

  • Like Icare

    http://p3.no/filmpolitiet/adam-sandler-movie-maker/?plot=5537b817ad96c&lang=en
    Slave Master Construction
    – Drawing the line with his cotton pickers.
    Adam
    Sandler is a successful architect, but one day he realizes that he is
    heir to his father’s cotton plantation. He exploits this for his own
    good and fools around, until he falls in love with the boss’s daughter.
    Then he pulls himself together and emerges as a better person.

  • Like Icare
  • Andrew Thompson.
  • tOmy`

    I am sorry to interrupt, fellas, but there has been some breaking news – courtesy of Billboard something something music something magazine:

    “Calvin Harris Makes It Official — Yes, He’s Following Taylor Swift on Instagram”

    After the shock wears off and all the tears have been shed, you can continue with your meaningless conversations.

  • Robby

    This is irrelevant to my interests. Straighten your fucking lives out over there in Czechoslovakia.

  • Like Icare
  • dollar store cashier wife

    Slow day at the office huh

  • WrongWithYourFace

    No, not that one. The one where you had curly hair, I think.

  • tOmy`

    I find you irrelevant to my fucking life in Czechoslovakia.

  • tOmy`

    Oh my god, I just realized something horrible: These people have an office.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Hey, Andy Serkis is a handsome, creepy looking, guy. Why the fuss?

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • tOmy`

    Happy Earth day.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I am inclined to believe that the meaninglesness (is that a word?) was the point. I think. I dunno.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    there is no Czechoslovakia! your just trying to scare me?

  • Robby

    I don’t want to be part of your fucking life, so there!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    they sure do.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What the hell is that, anyway? I hope they don’t want me to turn off my lights again.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Robby
  • tOmy`

    FINE!!!!

    THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER!!!!

    And by the way, mister, I am gonna let everyone on Twitter know how much of an asstwat you are!!!!

    #AlreadyOverIt

  • tOmy`

    It is a friendly reminder that we all want, in fact, live on Mars.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i wanted to be a creepy, hansom looking guy… oh well now i have to go back to being a woman….

  • bruce wayne

    Blender-man: the ending will be an homage to Soylent green. “Blender-mans Strawberry da queries are people.” Dun dun dunnnnn!

  • Bah, puny mortals with their fragile flesh.

  • tOmy`

    Said the half-ton toad.

    #AnimalShaming

  • Like Icare

    Paul Blarp broke a Guinness record for number of security guards spinning around on Segways at the same time.
    They got 100 people that the movie despises and makes fun off all in one place to emulate Paul Blarp (they all wore fake Blarp mustaches) – in order to promote the movie that shits on them.

    Either these people are really desperate for self-promotion, or really thick… or so fucking child-like innocent that they should not be working that job.
    http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/paul-blart-mall-cop-2-and-new-yorks-finest-security-guards-claim-two-guinness-world-records-titles-on-national-security-guard-day-300064452.html

  • These men are pawns.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Striking similarity! http://files.mymovies.dk/Photos/1a9ee40e-da1e-4a30-8889-ccf2e74e52f7.jpg

    Andy’s face is just a little more squished.

  • Robby

    Shit, I better change my relationship status to “It’s Complicated.”

    Done, we’re now Facebook unofficial. I want joint custody over the Cocoa Puffs.

  • Oy, I work out nowadays. Disney policy.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    got to pay that. its like a concave mirror.

  • Forgot the hashtag.

    #toadinator

  • Mr_Wint

    Oooooh, that Soviet-Era nomenclature is not cool Mr. Robby.

  • WJF

    Paul Blart Mall Plarp

  • Mr Flibble

    “Oh no, we’re about to hit The Chicago Bears Tower!…

    …Wooooaaaaahhhh…. looks like we didn’t hey Jay lets talk about two new movies”

    I laughed uproariously.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    indeed Mr Wint. i feel the need to explain the nature of the cold war…. in song.

    https://youtu.be/9w-n0GrkF8E

  • Mr_Wint

    You need to spend more time on Huffington-Post and less time staring at your crotch.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    but, but… i thought Mr Flibble was very cross?…

  • Mr_Wint

    They both would be dead; the meaning might get lost in the translation to ‘Strala.

  • Earth

    As it’s my official day, I demand a sacrifice of 108 pizza rolls.

  • Like Icare

    Best transition ever.

    That’s why they get paid those big moneys.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Mr_Wint

    Pitch-Fork doesn’t approve of him, so neither do I.

  • Mr_Wint

    Watch Elephant by GV-S; the final solution.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Paul Barf Mall Crap

  • It’s pronounced eeath. #PREPARE EEATH FOR OUR PLEASURE.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJu2z-tC0_E

  • Andrew Thompson.

    fart blart: shit pants!

  • Earth

    Flash is, and always will be, my protector (and lover).

  • Earth

    No excuses! Bring me moar pizza rolls!

  • That’s right Jay.

  • Palpatine

    What the hell?! We actually got two HitB’s this month?!

  • tOmy`

    Are you behind it at all?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    dull sex life*

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Not even you forsaw it. Are your powers are getting weaker Palpy since there is a new SW movie coming out?

  • Palpatine

    Of course I am.

  • Like Icare

    You should pitch that idea to Wachowskis and Lucas.

    He likes the whole scrolling text thing and using multiple cameras pointed at people’s faces, while they love h4xxx0r1n9 and being on the edge and shit, extending the movie into other media.

    Like, a part of the movie could be shown online… and everyone in the theater with a smartphone would get a call at the same time… and they would all turn on their screens… and a part of the movie would be playing there… and it would be interacting with the movie on the screen… and it would be like the audience is hacking the gibson too…

    People on the screen could talk to the audience “Help me you fat slob, you’re my only hope. Swipe across the screen up and down as I type this complex code I read on the Reddits.”

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Isn’t there a horror/thriller with Frodo that also takes place entirely in “computer interface” world?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yes your Earthiness! at once!…

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Splosions! No thwords thought! 🙁

  • Palpatine

    I hit my head when falling down the mineshaft, so that might’ve caused it.

  • Eeeew…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    given that your often implied to be part of it?…..

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Stop calling it the my shaft mineshaft!

  • Earth

    Spy Kids 3D: Game Over?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Mike started it.

  • tOmy`

    Spy Kids 3D: Blowing on a Cartridge

    Now, wait, that was a different genre.

  • Earth

    You’re a frog. You wouldn’t understand.

  • Like Icare

    Paul’s Dead: I Blarped Mall

  • Palpatine

    What should I call it then? The Death Star Main-Reactor Shaft?

  • Oh… yes. The disability claims.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I was just about to type “don’t be talking about shafts with Omitted around”.

  • tOmy`

    “Yet Another Design Flaw… shaft”

  • Mr_Wint

    I like this realistic explanation myself;

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu2T1JJTN1U

  • Andrew Thompson.

    man shaft*

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Exactly!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    But it was like poetry poultry…

  • Mr_Wint

    Have you tried to get space-benefits?

  • Oh, I get it. I am not an animal. I am a humanoid reptile class thing. I get to make the baby as you normies do.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the idea of cycles and lo-fi reminded me of this

    https://youtu.be/76yWZcsgwF8

  • tOmy`

    With who exactly? I haven’t seen a single Gungan lady except that loathsome cunt of a pussy Jar Jar Stinks.

  • Like Icare

    I wouldn’t mind blowing on Carla Gugino’s cartridge.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Greasy and as soon as your sick of it you want more?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    logically wouldnt your people lay eggs in water?

  • tOmy`

    I wouldn’t mind snorting blow off her cartridge.

  • tOmy`

    People from Australia don’t get to talk about “logic” when it comes to fauna discussions.

  • Earth

    Do you change gender like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. They had frog DNA.

  • Like Icare

    Sit by the river long enough and shit in one hand and it WILL happen.

    Sun Tzu said that.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Gungan’s are Australian frogs you racist!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Both.

  • Mr_Wint

    It was clearly the fault of others if you sustained any injuries barreling down that long, firm, shaft.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Don’t try to kid me, I know snakes don’t have feet I know damn well (no pun intended) what happened in that shaft. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qAKXK_aLeA

    Besides, it turns out you weren’t behind it all after all.

  • Like Icare

    Watch it.

    Snorting blow off of bitches’ cartridges causes Clarence Boddicker to materialize in front of your door, shoot you in both legs, play you some bad DVDs and blow up your whole place with a grenade.

  • I have a willydongus. And my wife has a vuvugagoo. And that is basic toad anatomy 101. As for Jurrasic Park Im sure the new one will explain it all.

    #que Jeff Goldblum joke/clip/meme

  • K.L

    What’s with the terrible new tape animation when showing clips from the movies, oh god stop this.

  • tOmy`

    Ok, guys. This has been pleasant, we managed to stay on topic for incredible 20 seconds. But work is done, sun is shining outside, weather is warm and birds are singing in trees.

    What a beautiful day for a walk through the park into the closest smoke-filled, dark pub with boarded windows. There is this nice bartender whom I like to introduce to my nice bar of tender.

    YOU SEE, ROBBY? ALREADY DATING.

    See ya later.

  • SkaMP

    Da speediest way to da Australians is through de planet coooooore

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Would Happy Madison’s horror movies be really that much worse than Platinum Dunes’ horror movies?

  • Maka the baby, egg yes. Shnell! #RAUS!

  • Mr_Wint

    I like that, although I’ve never listed to those guys past ’91,

    http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/touch-and-go-v-the-buttholes/Content?oid=898923

  • Earth

    Most likely a copyright thing. Probably youtube’s fault.

  • Was it a DVD? It is 1986. Always thought it was a Cd-video.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    “Quickly! out!” really? first time dad?

  • Those eyes can’t lie..

  • Andrew Thompson.

    if you have the tech thats true. but the nearest active volcanoes are in new zeland… so its a bit of a hike from there. i’d just go quantas… they never crash, yeah they never crash…. wapner…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    why would you?

  • He reminds me of death. The 1990 Bill and Teds bogus adventure death.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9YpnklYhxY

  • I just shout random german now and then. Nothing to be alarmed about.

  • SkaMP

    so what you’re saying is unless you have tech for it goen through da planet core is bad bombin?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i thought your jamacan….

    https://youtu.be/MWbQwSURR98

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yessa sir itsa full of da fiiire.

  • Palpatine

    Y’know Mike and Jay, you’ll be surprised by how many good reviews the Wynn Resort has on Tripadvisior:
    http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g45963-d503598-Reviews-Wynn_Las_Vegas-Las_Vegas_Nevada.html

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Too much content! I feel dizzy…….

  • fred

    You cock sucking slut bitch.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Tripad visor? Sounds like something that would go along great with future pants.

  • Saruma

    The thing about Kevin James is that King of Queens was actually a good sitcom and you could see he had actual comedic talent. That has to be where his popularity comes from. Honestly, it makes it all that much sadder that he’s turned himself into this just to keep getting paychecks from Adam Sandler.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Adam Sandler has talent too, it just does not pay to use it.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Future is great. I already serve the evil Hot El

  • Now all we need is a Bessssst of the Worsssst and the cycle will be complete. Yessss…
    http://beforeitsnews.com/contributor/upload/106013/images/The_Blessed_Reptilian_Virgin_by_HiddenStash.jpg

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Is that the mutant leader from the Batman v Superman movie??? http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x258/phobos-romulus/mutantscopy.jpg

    And of course they’d make him black for diversity’s sake.

  • Now that’s positive empowerment!

  • Disqus Dikus

    #midgetshaming

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    He does look like he don’t shiv

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Coming soon on TLC

  • Palpatine

    Right after #pregnantteenagershaming.

  • In other news Radiohead drummer Phil Selway confirmed that the new Radiohead album is still coming along nicely and that they have been in the studio:

    http://observer.com/2015/04/phillip-selway-talks-first-us-solo-tour-recording-new-radiohead-album/

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    #hoardersthemidgetpreggoteenspecial

  • Palpy, do you want to tell us something about the ‘classic film’ Old man? He looks eerily familiar.

  • Palpatine

    Something tells me that Jay made that movie.

  • I think I just hashtagged all over my screen.

  • Disqus Dikus

    What a hit!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    #vomitaddiction

  • #youwishitwasvomit

  • He did he sign you up, though?

  • Palpatine

    No. The old man’s face in that movie isn’t as pale and wrinkly as mine.

  • Make up? Or maybe they got a hold of a mold of your face when you were younger and made a reverse Mike Meyers?

  • Palpatine

    Maybe.

  • fred

    It’s fine. I actually kinda like it.

  • durhay

    I repeatedly clicked @18:02 (“OH TH-TH-THE”). It’s funnier than Paul Blart Mall Blarp.

  • Palpatine

    Did anyone else hear an off-screen voice @21:35 that sounded like Rich’s?

  • It did sound like Rich.

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    the ‘security guards are dumb /wannabe cops’ is a bit of a trope. It’s funny on trailer park boys

  • Mr_Wint

    Ecclesiastes 1:9 – What is it that hath been? that that shall be: and what is it that hath been done? that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun

  • Boehm

    As much as I want to see them review paul-blart-mall-cop-2, it pains me to know that they gave money to the people who made it.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    my head is spinning !

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    They were calling it #occupationshaming is y I mention it

  • Mr_Wint

    Those ‘its’ get caught up in all sorts of shaming.

  • Mr_Wint

    You its are a bunch of diks’.

  • Mr_Wint

    How do you know they paid for it without having watched it? They didn’t pay to see Jack and Jill…

  • Boehm

    I don’t and I hope they didn’t.

  • Mr_Wint

    Watch it Mr. Boehm! You never know what you might get!

  • CynicalOptimist22 .

    Serusly though… How is Kevin James doing movies???

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    He’s got friends in low places.

  • tOmy`

    Fuck these guys! Who do they think they are, fucking Radioh-

    Oh.

    Speaking of: Phil’s Familial is, quite surprisingly, one of the best albums I have ever heard.

  • Boehm

    It just finally hit me, Hollywood is all about MONEY!!!

  • tOmy`

    This almost made me spill my beer. Nice one, Domo.

    #HighFiveYolo

  • Boehm

    It even has a “Certificate of Excellence”

  • Trask

    Kevin James is like Jim Belushi, he accomplishes nothing, but everyone keeps on using him, and no one knows why.

  • tOmy`

    That’s a good trick.

  • Did you listen to Weatherhouse?

  • habanero718

    Kevin James was a stand-up and comedic actor. His special “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” is pretty funny and The King of Queens is a good sitcom. DO YOUR RESEARCH YOU HACK FRAUDS!

  • fred

    was

  • Palpatine

    The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side! Now where’s my Certificate of Excellence?

  • Palpatine

    Okay, rant time. Here’s my main gripe with Happy Madison, and pretty much all bad comedies in general. They don’t know how to tell jokes. Telling a joke is simple; you have your setup, and you have your payoff. But these bad comedians don’t get that. It’s like when Mike talked about the guy in the movie eating a rotten banana, there’s your setup, but there was no payoff. If they guy started choking on the banana, that would have been the payoff. If may have not been funny, but at least there was pay off. Rant time over.

  • atheistconservative

    I’ll be that guy and say King of Queens was pretty damn funny. Many of the same writers and the same star (Kevin James) but for some reason every time they make a movie they forget to add jokes.

  • I tried to use that search engine Jay “recomended” 4:05 but it seem to only lead to a body pillow manufacturor. Maybe they have changed focus from the Internet to a more lucrative business? Maybe they’ve been hacked? I don’t know.

    Well I guess there is no more possibility to search anything on the web.

    RIP snoogle.com

  • Palpatine

    So snoogle is a pregnancy pillow.

  • …yes. Good for your wombspace.

  • TPB has the jokes down. Even a simple namecalling skit is pure gold.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjdNd12y3_0

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    #Yoloshaming

  • Sam

    How does this not have more upvotes?

  • fairweather123

    Two ‘Half in the Bags’? In the same month!? Am I being felated and anally tongued at the same time!?! By hoboes?!?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Even Vines can get their setup and payoff done in 7 seconds, whereas Happy Madison takes never.

    Society is financially supporting the wrong people.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Hey, Omitted’s not homeless!

  • Snake Squeezer

    But then why was only his cane featured in the review?

  • tOmy`

    Not yet, I am about to any minute now (or maybe tomorrow).

  • Dan

    Haha, “Jay, would you recommend huhmmm…*sigh*”.
    Thanks for the heads up not to waste my time on this crap.

  • You’ll like it. It sounds very different than Familial, but has the same feel. Really showcases Selway’s talents.

  • Snake Squeezer

    #RLMshaming

  • Palpatine

    He was too busy reacting to the Episode VII trailer:
    http://share.gifyoutube.com/vZOMe8.gif

  • Snake Squeezer

    A Happy Madison horror film: Just keep the film rolling at the end of the scene and then tell the “talent” there’s no money to pay them anymore.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    So, a mexican guy, an obese person and Adam Sandler walk into a bar..

  • TapewormLadyBicycle
  • dollar store cashier wife

    Is this your pitch for Grown Ups 3?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Don’t you fucking dare steal it! Especially not the part where a fat guy gets hit in the balls.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I just hope it’s better than Tree of Limbs

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Why couldn’t it be a fat chick? You’d try kicking a chick in the chest and your shoe gets stuck between her bewbs.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    You did not let me finish. SO, the fat guy has a twin played by the same person in a wig…

  • tOmy`

    Look, I know it is his twin and all, but can we actually make him black? I have this amazing idea for a hilarious scene where he gets laid off a job in Detroit and shot in the face by a cop.

  • tOmy`

    You are really underselling that whole snoogle experience:

    “#sweataday Day 16: Lunge Kick Stutter @shauna_harrison @underarmour @underarmourwomen I think I was doing a happy dance because while I was out my #snoogle got delivered! Hopefully tonight I will get some sleep!! #aprilpowers #MoveMoreAmbassador #fortwofitness ##17weeks #fitpregnancy”

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I already called Martin Lawrence and choose to translate what he told me as a yes to the role.

  • tOmy`

    I am not sure what it all means, but it behaves like a sentence.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Twitter horror movie ideas. Go. Take me there.

  • Palpatine

    Freddy vs. Jason II: Battle on Twitter.

  • tOmy`

    “She said she just wants to be your #friend. Then she just wanted to #followU. Now…

    She is your #wife.

    #RealLifeIsSurprisinglyAwful”

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    @FreddyKrueger69 vs. @JaSON!Rulezzz

    And it’s all about Gamergate

  • James Earl Jones

    Fuck yeah, double hashtag.

  • Palpatine

    All the while @MichaelTheShapeMyers78 tries to calm them down.

  • Drain

    More terrible movies from Hollywood. Business as usual.

  • I actually like King of Limbs. Certainly, it was no Kid A or Ok Computer, but it definitely grew on me over time. The second half is definitely better than the first half though.

  • RLMkeepitup

    so it’s like sex with no orgasms

  • James Earl Jones

    It was Mike’s.
    YES, MIKE’S A VENTRILOQUIST.

    (no, srsly, it was mike’s.)

  • Orange Debate

    What? Don’t I got anything better to do?

    Heck, if you offered me the choice between Rich laughing on a loop for sixteen straight years and/or Star Wars, then JJ and R5D4 might as well go…Heck, if it’s between HITB and/or GOT, then GRR Martin can go…Heck, if it came down to the RLM and/or breathing, then gimme…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m just kiiiiidding!

  • Assbutt

    King of Queens was a pretty decent show, so it is baffling that these writers don’t at least put in the effort to go back and steal some of their own jokes. Patton Oswalt seems to have made out the best of that crowd by far.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Jaden Smith tweets finally get understood and our collective species get to use 100% of our brains from them(just like in that moopie Lucy!)

    #How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren’t Real

  • tOmy`

    Fellow House-of-Carders: Riddle me this: Who is Frank Underwood?

    This is not a trick question, nor am I expecting any pre-meditated answers. I am just wondering what is your take on his character. Right off the start of the show I expected him to be either
    a) Type A personality
    b) Sociopath / Psychopath

    But he is neither of those. And things we know about him don’t help either, tbh, His character is as baffling and confusing as Dexter Morgan towards the end of the show, when Dexter writers started to take what I presume was a heavy medication. I know this may be a minor detail, but… I understand that sometimes you need a mysterious character (did someone say Justif- oh, I just did.) but that doesn’t mean having a character that doesn’t seem to logically work.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    He’s a sociopath that much is certain.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I haven’t watched this yet, nor have I seen either movie.. but I know both movies are bad already through … osmosis. I feel sad for the new comers who might fall for these movies, but more so for the people who thought it was entertainment. Even worse, crap movies will continue to be made because it’s cheap and the risk to reward payoff is low.

  • tOmy`

    I think there has been way too many things in the show that would rule the “sociopathy” angle out. Then again, I ain’t no fucking shrink. Actually, I threw the last shrink I saw out of the window. But that is a story for Christmas.

    Anyway I don’t know. It’s just feels odd. I don’t care for anyone in the show, I just care for the show itself, as it is really well made. Makes me a bit sad that so much craft, skill and style has been put into something that seems to deliver everything but really immersive TV show.

  • tOmy`

    Also, speaking of rather baffling misfires: For a show constantly breaking the 4th wall with Frank addressing audience, they really didn’t put it into much of a practical use…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    So you’re finished with season 2?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s entertaining and it makes us sorta connect with a character who basically is a complete piece of shit human being. one of the very few good choices S3 makes is how it handles the fourth wall breaking.

  • tOmy`

    Yep. Cannot say I hated it – I may be a bit biased, because I really dig the visuals and politics (plus I have a soft spot for everything TV) – but I can see some major flaws.

    Spoilers
    While I didn’t exactly call that “threesome”, it was painfully obvious that Meechum is gonna be the one fucking Claire.
    And my bet about Doug being the one who will be a centerpiece of a next “twist” was also spot on (again, just logical thinking, really, I mean who else, right?). My bet is that he is gonna be the next “sacrifice” left behind in the Frank + Claire debris in the end.

    I very much liked the last few seconds of the Season 2 finale with Frank knocking on the Oval Office table. It is a shame that this show can craft these things so beautifully well, yet really does not “drag you in”.

  • tOmy`

    We shall see. Starting now. (Well, started 30 minutes ago.)

  • Malevolence

    She poops herself is honestly the catalyst for committing suicide? 😛

  • dollar store cashier wife

    SSPPOOIILLEERRSS

    The way Frank rose to presidency in the last couple of episodes of S2 is when the show lost me on a emotional level.He seemed like an unstoppable power with nothing being able to so much as touch him.Compare that to someone like Walter Walt who’s every action no matter how bad ass it looks on screen is filled with anxiety of uncertainty gets 4 seasons until we finally think like he’s in completel control…and that only lasts for like 8 episodes until it’s back to square one with Hank applying the kind of presure he was not expecting.So basically Frank rising to power like a god and his fall from grace turns out to be incredibly forced in S3.

  • tOmy`

    Agree. I think I said it before: The show plays it’s only card – the powerplay(s). Twists with relationships, politics, negotiating etc. And while it does it very well, everything else is somewhat left aside. That especially hurts all the other characters that are not strictly connected to the “powerplay” itself – Rachel, that hacker dude and many others. Since they are not in the only focus of the show, they seem to be there for… well, I don’t know. Something to be used as a plot-point when the show needs it I guess.

    And totally agree with Breaking Bad. The way they handled the last season is close to unprecedented – it was tight as fuck. It actually does remind me a lot of the pace of the final season of Sopranos (no spoilers, in case you didn’t see it). It was still as slow as everything else, but the atmosphere was superb dynamic, the endgame was always present and just seeing Tony lying down with an attack rifle on his chest was one of the best “action” scenes ever, despite lacking any action.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • tOmy`

    She didn’t handle that shit. She was literally shittalked into committing suicide. It’s not a fun subject, to be honest. There is a whole therapy group for certain kind of people.

    It’s called “Cyberbullies Anonymous”. It deals with once inability to bully someone into suicide.

    #1Like=1RespectForThesePoorSouls

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I have not yet seen it and my only excuse is that I currently don’t have 200gb of free space in my PC for Sopranos’s bluray rip.I should really get to it considering how much I liked Boardwalk Empire and The Wolf of Wall Street(you da man Terrence Winter)

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    I’d suggest you take that upvote thing back to youtube comments, buddy.

  • Palpatine

    She could’ve just ignored them.

    #Don’tFeedTheTrolls

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the video this gif comes from is nothing short of glorious.

  • Oh? I haven’t seen it. I was just looking for an appropriate gif. :3 How do I find it?

  • quick_moranis

    I assume people like him because of King of Queens, it’s a bland sitcom but it has its moments. Moments I can’t remember that don’t involve Jerry Stiller, Patton Oswalt or his black friend who’s real name I can’t remember. That show worked because of its recurring characters and the vanilla that is Kevin James, much like vanilla, was just enjoyable enough to be passable. I had no idea that he gained hardcore enough fans from that show that would keep going to see his movies though.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Fuller House, a new Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and a new Family Matters. All these shall be yours.

  • The Fresher Prince of Bel Air starring Jayden Smith?

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Snake Squeezer

    Sounds horrible enough. Probably.

  • tOmy`

    I am a big fan of Boardwalk Empire and I can honestly say that The Sopranos beat it hands down, no problem.

    It’s much more of everything. However, Richard Harrow’s killing spree in the whore house is a tough thing to match.

  • tOmy`

    *Fresh King of Bel Fire

    Obviously.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    harrow=best character.

  • tOmy`

    “Even when you are a dead, ghost-like paranormal monster…

    … lag is still an issue.”

    #NoServerForOldFoes

  • I think I need another bag. This one is half full.

  • Palpatine

    So in Fuller House, a widowed DJ is going to move in with Stephanie, Kimmy Gibbler, and her two daughters. No word if the Olsen twins will appear though.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I CAN’T STOP CUMMING!!!!

  • tOmy`

    I think that towards the end, Eli and Mueller borderline slapstick duo stole my heart.

    Spoilers

    Them stealing from Al Capone was really one of the peaks of the show.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • tOmy`

    @CheshireDollarStoreCat

    “Kanye West deletes all references to Tidal from his Twitter feed. Rapper also deletes the streaming service’s logo as his avatar.”

    Now that was a revolution.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yeezus quits while he’s still ahead.

  • If they don’t, how do they write them out of the series? Have a flashback with a scene of them going upstairs and never coming back?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Some people hated Mueller post season 1 cause his character stagnated from there till the end but I say fuck em.Michael Shannon’s acting alone is all the reason you needed for keeping the character going.

  • tOmy`

    You could say that 21st century finally did something mean to him.

    Anyway, I hoped it tanks, but this is already better than I wished for. Also, Jack White apparently did the same, but he waited only 24 hours after Tidal went online.

  • tOmy`

    Agreed. And he went out with such a style!

    I think that towards the end, he was the most beloved person on AV Club. And truth be told, “people” over there have a magnificent taste for “b-side” characters.

  • tOmy`

    No word?

    “The Olsen Twins seek the sage counsel of Bob Saget before joining Full House reboot”

    You are slacking, Palpy… you know, since you… died.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Jay will be using myspace for marketing Pork Pork in Space 2.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Or she could’ve put laxatives in their meals and filmed them shitting themselves at school.

    Bring balance to the force.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “I, am Nelson Casper Van Alden! I, am a sworn agent, of the United States treasury. And I swear by Jesus our lord, justice will rain down upon you!”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The Olsen twins already have their own show, with a sexy Bob Saget this time.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5FG1_QRZjo

  • tOmy`

    There is one thing I really loved about his last moment:

    In that very scene, there were only 3 other people with Al Capone in the room – an ex-cop, an ex-FBI and an undercover FBI. Not sure if this was intentional, but it made me smile.

  • Palpatine

    They’re going to Bob Saget for help? Cue the sad, corny music.

  • Earth

    Who’s Kanye West? What’s Tidal?

    Damn you kids with your internets and smoogles and whatnot.

  • tOmy`

    You didn’t pay any attention to a broad-scale music streaming revolution that was supposed to bring art back to humans, while keeping creative integrity and art as a platform for real success?

    Honestly, lucky you. It was as pathetic as it sounds. Also, Madonna.

  • tOmy`

    According to the article, they forgot to tell them. First time they heard about it was during the live announcement.

    It’s already well thought out. It’s gonna be great.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Did Kanye quit when he found out he was supposed to produce real art and have integrity?

  • Noah R.

    813th comment! Not bragging or anything…

  • Earth

    I barely know who Kanye West is, and from what I do know I hate everything about him, but yes I was not following this “Tidal” thing at all. Now that I’ve looked at it, it just seems to be a bunch of talentless billionaires whining about how they’re not getting enough money.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of horrible pop culture clusterfucks and things other than Half in the Bag:

    Remember when I was bitching about Showtime being the one to get Twin Peaks? Can I please have my upvotes as a token of my foreseeing skillz?

  • tOmy`

    Or, you know, you could say that. It is pretty much the same thing I just said, just with the actual reason behind it.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    No.

  • Snake Squeezer

    It’s stylistically designed to be that way.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Hate his public persona all you want but the man has made some good music.Half of his haters probably didn’t even listen to My Dark Beautiful Fantasy.Shit they probably haven’t heard a single album of his.

  • tOmy`

    It’s time to let the beautiful dream go, Domo. Because all we have left is the nightmare part of it.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I thought Palpy wrote that one?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    he was the sound engineer.

  • Mr Flibble

    I mellowed in my old age.

  • tOmy`

    Unfortunately, I have to agree. MDBF is one of the most brilliant albums out there, specifically because it shouldn’t work at all. It just… somehow does. I am still mesmerized by that album.

    If someone were to describe the album in detail to me, I would laugh my ass out about how awful it’s gonna be. It just ain’t. It’s fucking brilliant.

    I am still betting it was just a lighting in a bottle, an absolute and utter luck that he pulled this off.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    “Do anybody make real shit anymore?”

    –Kanye West, while sampling 70% of Daft Punk’s Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

  • Earth

    I’m like Rich Evans, I like to repeat what people say:

    “It’s like the touch football of street fighting.”

  • tOmy`

    Everything in hip hop is sampled. Or at least 80% of it. That is how hip hop is done.

    And they also produced one whole song for him. Look, not even our beloved robots are perfect, mkay?!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    There’s something wrong with you; your puke is coming out of your cheek.

  • Earth

    I dunno. Even if I were to try to listen to his music I’d just be reminded of his personality too much and also how obnoxious I’ve found a lot of his fans to be.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    they produced the first 4 tracks of Yeezus as well.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    well yeah like tomy said hip hop is all about sampling[for better or worse that’s up for you to decide].Have you listened to Burial yet? that might give some appreciation for just how much personality and creativity you can apply to samples.

  • tOmy`

    While I have to agree, ironically, my most favorite track on that album is the most obnoxious hip hop song I ever heard – and I love it for it. It is so freaking unapologetic.

    But yea, the guy is an absolute retard. Or, maybe he is just deranged. Fame gets to people and he wouldn’t be the first musician, or the most talented musician to ever lose it.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Yet when movies reboot/sample/rehash material, tropes or ideas, we hate them and consider them hacks because they can’t come up with their own ideas.

    Beyonce took the entire track for Major Lazer’s Pon De Floor and added words to it. How is that any better than Adam Sandler rehashing the same crap over and over?

    I’m sick, and ran out of Nyquil, and am too lazy to go to the store. Sorry for grumpiness.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    My favorite was when Kanye got mad because a person in a wheelchair wouldn’t stand up to cheer for him at a concert.

    https://youtu.be/mhLkViTZ-14?t=6s

  • tOmy`

    As with most aspects of music, I would say that this too has two sides of a coin:

    While you can consider it stealing, rehashing or straight out ripping-off someone else’s success, pulling it off at the same time makes your audience go back to the originals etc.

    When it comes to hip hop, generally, sampling is just the way to go. Lot of people talk about remixes as well, but little do they know, that many of top bands have their own “official remixers” – basically artists from other fields that they like for xy reasons and they chose them to be the ones to take a different spin on their stuff.

    There will be always a lot of talk about sampling / remixing and there will always be pros and cons. But generally speaking, it is a acceptable form of creating music.

  • Earth

    Oh god. Yeah, I only know Kanye through his (mostly bad) media attention. It just makes me lose all interest in listening to any of his music.

    This happens with me sometimes. For example, I’ve never actually seen the original Mad Max. I was gonna watch it, but then Mel Gibson’s face appeared and it just put me off. I’ll watch it eventually, cos I hear good things about the movie, but it’ll be in spite of Gibson starring.

  • tOmy`

    I agree with you. I used to love Lostprophets, but when I heard their frontman was found guilty of pedophilia, I straight out dropped them from my music list.

    Even when it comes to music, a perception of a band can make some damage to your / global preferences. I have the same with Oasis and Coldplay. I just cannot stand those fuckers.

  • Wicked Ricky

    Where the fuck do you think you are, Reddit?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s acceptable for certain artists. Michael Bolton’s entire career got ruined when Rolling Stone called him out for sampling small bits from old motown songs for his breakout album. P. Diddy rapes The Police’s “Every Breath You Take” and gets a standing ovation at the VMAs.

    Reboots of movies are an acceptable form of making cinema, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. It’s pretty cheap, and to me at least, lazy. Same goes for music, at least for me.

  • Earth

    Maybe they’re going for an American Psycho-type deal? a psychopath hidden under a white collar yuppie, socialite exterior.

  • tOmy`

    It can be very cheap, sure. Or it can be masterful. Here is a great example:

    I do find Kanye’s sampling of Harder Better Faster Stronger simply… lazy, uninteresting and it seems like he made it for the recognition of the DP’s track, rather than bringing something new to the table.

    Then again, Daft Punk wouldn’t be here and Harder Better Faster Stronger wouldn’t exist, if it wasn’t for sampling – if I do recall this right, everything till Tron and RAM albums is built strictly from samples and manipulation of 70s – 80s funk and dance.

  • Palpatine

    Just like I was.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “pulling it off at the same time makes your audience go back to the originals”

    Absolutely NO evidence for this. At all. Just a complete fallacy. Meanwhile, the dipsh!ts continue to whine about file-sharing.

    Other than that…Hiya t!

  • Earth

    Tru dat Palpy. You’re the archetype we all aspire to be.

  • Earth

    Again, I have the problem of association. When I think of sampling I always think of this for some reason:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8Cq6rVAWt8

  • tOmy`

    Oi, grumpa, nice to see you being grumpy here and not over at the AV Traitor club.

    I might get carried away with that statement a bit, but please note that “back then”, hip hopers, rockers and punkers were pretty much tight and influencing each other, rather than being such a separate genres like now.

  • Too many rough blowjobs.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Back when? My day? There was no hip-hop. Remember #VanillaIceShaming? And, we didn’t stop there, either. Lip-syncing got you crucified, and Neil Young kicked the advertising sell-outs in the nuts. We blew up baseball stadiums over disco. We didn’t pick up glow sticks.

    Yes. We are responsible for Yes and Styx and Rush (damn us to hell), but you dumplings made up these new rules all on your own.

  • tOmy`

    That is the sad reality in most cases, true. The problem is that it is hard to draw the line in this discussion.

    Because where do we draw it? Vanilla Ice butchering Queen?
    P.Diddy sampling Led Zeppelin? Shall we stop at Rage Against The Machine using Led Zeppelin to create Wake Up – possibly their most famous song?

    Is the fact that Fatboy Slim never recorded single piece of music and (afair) and most of his oldschool albums are samples only? Despite the fact that he is an actual bass player?

    Or where is the line when someone like a dubstep band Modestep don’t actually remix Coldplay, but straight out cover them because despite being electronic band, they have a singer?

    Or when you have masterminds like Dj Shadow creating one of the most celebrated albums ever just because it is all made of samples straight from vinyls?

    I guess there is no real answer (or at least I don’t know one) – but the discussion usually boils down to very simple: “Does it work? Great job paying homage! Does it suck? Well, you shouldn’t rip someone off, because now we are gonna rip you apart.” May not be the best approach, but I think that is as far as this discussion ever got.

  • Unfriended?
    UNSUBSCRIBED!

  • tOmy`

    Okay, I have been a music douche enough for today. Goodbye, my fragments of imagination. Disappear now. I shall call upon you when I enter this webzone tomorrow.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Burial can stich together a haunting work of art by using pretty much nothing but samples.You can do great things with samples provided you’re talented enough.

  • MyOpinionMattersDamnit

    Hey RedLetter! I am one of your religious, check-your-site-everyday followers. Love your work! I just wanted to put in my two cents on the new VHS frame when you show your clips. I dont mind a frame around the clips, but if i had to put a finger on it, its the spinning tape reel to the left, paired w the off-center video, that distracts from the video, as well as the comments and quips being made. I dont hate it, but I might like a less distracting frame. Love the idea and consistency with your overall theme!

  • tOmy`

    I guess you could say that it is the result that matters, rather than the process.

  • “No, it plays to the senior citizen demographic.”
    Well, I’m sure that’s a demographic that can relate to death and pants-shitting.

  • #carrieshaming

  • “Children of the Corn 6: The Internet Age?”
    Children of the Porn?

  • Noah R.

    And then having other people wipe your ass for the first time in 85 years…

  • #blartshaming

  • Noah R.

    I actually want to go see PB:2 with a friend in the theater just for the sake of laughing at the greatness. Unfortunately, I’m a bit scared that there will actually be people in the theater trying to watch the movie and I’ll end up looking like an asshole.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What kind of idiot goes sees a stupid kid’s comedy film? You must be some sort of stupid asshole.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I miss Amish Jay

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I have the ultimate dumb crossover idea! Amish Jay vs Paul Blart

  • Noah R.

    *whimper

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *whimpers like Itchy and Lumpy

  • Noah R.

    *lowers porno goggles

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *writes Omitted joke

  • Noah R.

    *goes back to watching the HitB episode

  • Andrew Thompson.

    this is 100% samples.
    https://youtu.be/U8BWBn26bX0

  • Amish Jay is dead. Replaced by his hunky clone.
    “Revenge of the Hottie-Snatchers.”
    *Snaps fingers in a Z-formation.*

  • Jesus, was I just possessed by Omitted there?

  • RLMkeepitup

    if you checked every day, you’d of commented yesterday. Slacker

  • RLMkeepitup

    Jay is kind of a goof isn’t he

  • There’s an unlucky number in there.
    This is nothing to celebrate.

  • RLMkeepitup

    no film has crossed such wide demographics like this before, none of them want to go see it

  • RLMkeepitup

    looks down, sees Kanye West mentioned. Wonders into which dark alley this thread could lead before the next Best of the Worst appears

  • Andrew Thompson.

    hey has anyone made the Pall Blart Mall Blob joke? i dont think we did. good for us for taking the higher path attacking the mans lack of talent, rather than his fat bloated corpse.

  • Hilary Manfat

    interesting that someone has made a horror movie based on Facebook and Skype. I’ve already written a screenplay about a guy who brutally murders all the bastards that keep sending him Candy Crush Saga invites.

  • Hilary Manfat

    Would HAVE, not would of. Slacker! 😉

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Just do it. the doco on the case will win a Oscar.

  • Bacchus

    The Avalanches are another good example in favour of sampling. They built a whole album around thousands of samples (Since I left You). I often start the day with their Frontier Psychiatrist video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8BWBn26bX0

    They created something new out of lots of stuff you couldn’t imagine existing together. They did so with humor, wit and style.

    Kanye seems like a bit of an idiot though. He’s got a 1:10 ratio of interesting to stupid in his public statements (sample quote: “I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books.”).

    Doesn’t mean he can’t have produced good work, but it sort of puts me off from finding out, if that make sense.

  • Like Icare

    According to Jay it was davadah and they have a jeepyass too.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ThWGN0igAsk#t=444

  • RLMkeepitup

    there’s like no way to disable those damn things

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i posted this 1 comment down, an hour ago. great song.

  • Hilary Manfat

    The invites or the bastards that send the requests?

  • Bahareh Khosravi

    If I made a movie about a dead girl haunting her friends, it wouldn’t be called Unfriended on facetub, it’d be called “FUCK OFF GHOST!”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    both can be achieved by hitting things with a baseball bat.

  • Mr_Wint

    It’s not yesterday everywhere yet Mr. Snappy.

  • DanceOfBirther
  • Like Icare

    In a parallel universe the role of Amish Jay is played by non-fat and younger Val Kilmer.

    The role of Mall Plarp is played by Christian Bale due to his weight changing abilities and professionalism.
    Special appearances by a younger Robert De Niro as Milwaukee Mike and Daniel Day-Lewis in the role of Adam Sandler as The Cobbler (he has some experience in that field).

  • andypants1989

    No-one in the music industry is a billionaire.

  • Mr_Wint

    You can be like, whatever popular/trendy electronic music sampling that requires little to no thought, or you can be like BoardsofCananda/Gas/FutureSoundofLondon/LFO/LeeGamble kind of sampling and make it completely thoughtful and re-listenable.

  • dswynne

    The premise behind UNFRIENDED is so phony. At best, “Laura” could get some feminist group to name-and-shame her tormentors. At worst, “Laura” should have gone on a prank spree…or beat ass, which ever is more satisfying.

  • andypants1989

    Honestly, I hate every single artist you mention who stole from or sampled another artist and every single song you mentioned as well. If they all died tomorrow and their whole musical output disappeared I wouldn’t care at all.

  • RLMkeepitup

    what qualifies for news these days… (rolls eyes)

  • andypants1989

    Old Kevin James was vastly superior to present Kevin James. Maybe he didn’t actually write for the show, because I remember it being invariably funny.

    Additionally Patton Oswalt and Ben Stillers dad were always funnier than him on that show. His wife had her moments too. All Kevin James did was act frustrated / exasperated at their antics.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    round world can be a bitch Mr Wint.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    sonys majority shareholders are.

  • DanceOfBirther

    No, not get help, they’re going to roll with him.
    http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/2730/rollin-with-saget-from-ilikestuff

  • Andrew Thompson.

    wait. you hate Rage, Zepplin and Queen? why?

  • RLMkeepitup

    For the folks saying the guys should talk about ‘good’ movies. These two films are currently top at the box office behind Furious 7, which they already discussed. This is it folks.

  • Like Icare

    He could get a ticket for some other movie, then sneak into Blarp 2.

    If he wasn’t a 3.5 meter high hairy Wookiee.
    Despite the popular opinion, there are limitations to what you can do with a Wookiee.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOxZYCGeWRQ

  • Like Icare

    That’s why Japanese have invested so much into robots.

    Also, bidets.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i bent my wookie…

  • DanceOfBirther

    It’s OK, the theater gets a cut.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    that and Japanese robot porn.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    two shit films beating another shit film does not make them good. is there any real movies out now in wide release?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i know she should have left the last girl alone in a sea of facebook hate too kill herself. the final jump scare is bullshit.

  • Like Icare

    Canada rushes to the rescue of poor billionaire vampires.
    http://www.michaelgeist.ca/2015/04/the-great-canadian-copyright-giveaway-why-copyright-term-extension-for-sound-recordings-could-cost-consumers-millions/

    Despite no study, no public demands, and the potential cost to the public of millions of dollars, the government announced that it will extend the term of copyright for sound recordings and performances from 50 to 70 years. For that giveaway, Bachman was quoted as saying “thanks for the term extension PM Harper, you really are taking care of business.”

    Randy Bachman, the well-known Canadian musician, found himself embroiled in a public fight with Prime Minister Stephen Harper last year when Harper used his song “Takin’ Care of Business” as a theme song for a major speech. Bachman
    said he probably would not have granted permission to use the song, since “I don’t think he’s taking care of business for the right people or the right reasons.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Marvel Movie #271: age of the stomach ulcer. does not count!

  • RLMkeepitup

    Ya I have no interest in that either. There is one called Ex Machina coming in 2 days that looks.. interesting. The writer of 28 days later and sunshine is directing it..

  • dejectedchuckle

    Hot.

  • Mr_Wint

    Yeah, like, it’s what, 10:00 in the morning, April 23rd in ‘Strala?

  • Hilary Manfat

    Just a passing thought. If anyone with half a brain was being haunted by a dead girl on social networking, surely turning off the computer, going outside and getting some fresh air would be the most sensible thing to do? or simply create a new Facebook and Skype account.. That would really fuck up the ghost’s revenge plan.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    12:11 lunch time. but it stopped raining so i have to go and work…. meh.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    or make 20 fake accounts and Sock her to death.

  • Hilary Manfat

    Is it possible to murder someone with a sock?

  • Like Icare

    Positively mallicious.

  • Mr_Wint

    Still 10:15 p.m., April 22nd here.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yes, yes it is.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    good old U.S Central time.

  • Hilary Manfat

    I think I might stop talking to you now. I get the feeling you have blood on your socks!

  • Like Icare

    Is this when we start poring buckets of ice water over people who have drank themselves to shit in order to raise awareness of alcohol-induced loss of bowel control?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Oh dear, I can’t gaze directly upon you anymore…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i have no socks its all wild rumors. “I am not a *insert Nixon here”

  • Mr_Wint

    *Eastern-Time Zone. Is it like the rainy season there right now, is that a thing?

  • DanceOfBirther

    You’re welcome.

  • Like Icare

    He is a remake of a positively psycho-evil yet charming British character.

    Remember that Robocop remake? Remember the character of the nu-Robo? No?
    Remember Peter Weller’s Robo and his character?

    How about Ahnold’s and Farrel’s takes on Quaid/Hauser?
    Which one do you remember? Which one made sense?

    Some things don’t carry over from other cultures and over decades of time.
    Or if they do, people call them “70s sexist”.

  • Like Icare

    Starring Black Widow Who Keeps Forgetting Her Russian Accent?

    Oh… It’s gonna be grate.
    http://www.allianceonline.co.uk/product_images/LCGT0003.jpg

  • Like Icare

    Something-something cobbler.

  • Like Icare

    Sure there is payoff. If your audience are retarded children.

    He was making faces.
    Didn’t you get the memo? Retard babies find that hilarious.

  • Like Icare

    How else do you get the people used to the idea of robots fondling their private parts?

  • dejectedchuckle

    Mike and Jay were having fun this mont–er week, even though they weren’t with those movies.

  • Like Icare

    No. That was the orange juice guy.

  • its called bleach

    i literally have important shit to do so of course you review paul blart mall cop 2. of course you do

  • RLMkeepitup
  • Like Icare

    Did anyone yet get the bright idea to sell marmite (which my spellchecker doesn’t believe to be a real word) packaged with a MARVEL-like “MARMITE” logo and peddled by an appropriate selection of characters looking kinda like the Avengers?

    If not, you have my permission to become immensely rich off of that idea.
    I’ll take my usual fee of 1% + 1$.

  • quick_moranis

    I watched the show quasi-regularly and I think the best thing you can take from that show is that Jerry Stiller can make the blandest show something to watch.

  • Like Icare

    He never went away.

    We tried to have him shipped to Abu Dhabi in a cardboard box… but that plan failed miserably when the box started leaking.

  • DanceOfBirther

    I saw Shannon on stage 11 years ago. He was great and naked. Nakedly great; greatly naked.

  • quick_moranis

    Beating their ass would just land Laura on World Star, then youtube and then she would commit suicide number 2 after reading all the horrible youtube comments about her.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Bela Lugosi’s Dead, Mike.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Hopefully it doesn’t turn into another remake of The Incredible Melting Man.

  • Palpatine

    “Pull de string! Pull de string!”-Bela Lugosi

  • dejectedchuckle

    Pretty sure Death Spa was a direct to video release although there are many movies worse than it that got wider theatrical distribution. Also… when VHS and stuff were new and exciting there was a big rush to get any and all cheaply made shit out on home video because you could make money. Crazy Fat Ethel 2 getting a VHS release isn’t too surprising. Although that is definitely all it got.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Actually, Bela would probably say ‘Push the needle’s plunger… yes… zats ze stuff…”

  • Palpatine

    “Karloff? Fuck you! Karloff is not worthy to smell my shit!”-Bela Lugosi

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “I want to hear him call Boris Karloff a cocksucker.”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    No, it’s ‘Fuck You, It’s Mid April’.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It’s like some sick 1990s prophecy come to pass.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    @TheRealTila Twitter Twat Massacre

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Not nearly as desired as the “Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence”, though.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Lookee here, English, we don’t truck with your electric malls and endless buffets at Wynn Resort”.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Have Jay & Mike ever discussed Trollhunter? It’s the one found footage movie that I find acceptable, even entertaining, in its forced little world.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I remember Jay mentioning it positively.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yes. That’s the joke. No setup. No payoff. Just, three people walk in and its wacky!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    If I could I’d lock the Happy Madison crew in a room with a copy of Super Troopers to show them how to do a ‘bit’ and how to setup the most basic of jokes for maximum payoff.

  • Cakefarts

    I see I am not alone in my inability to find a single decent movie to watch.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    In all sincerity I recommend ‘I’m a Cyborg, But That’s OK’.

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • RLMkeepitup

    What on Earth? I’ve sat through the entire Shining Code film on youtube and it made more sense than this.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Basically, Santa Claus & Jesus lied to us. We’re living four separate days at the same time and the elderly are eating teenagers. What’s not to get?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    marmite is disgusting. the English cant get anything right.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    we did have a cyclone roll down the east coast over the past few days. but only like 6 people died so its not that bad.

  • Hmm. Yes, who am I to argue with Jay.
    #shutupyoufatfrog

  • Ghost in the shell with Scarlett Johansen?

    #sad #so so very very sad #where is my gun

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Perhaps they are afraid of the rahbies.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    He’s dead, Mike. Everybody’s dead. Everybody is dead, Mike.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    or rehab….

  • Joe Syxpac
  • WrongWithYourFace

    Children of Bosom?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Asa Butterface is considered for Spiderman? WHAAAA…?!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Whaa– Isn’t that the pornstar? (Not Czech)

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Yeah, the kid from Bender’s Gay.

  • andypants1989

    Re-read my comment.

  • tOmy`

    Domo_Konnichiwa + dollar store cashier wife

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gpKYnRdf0A

  • tOmy`

    My thoughts exactly. Reminds me of the “chase” scene from CSI: Screw Reality or whatever, where they use an avatar in Second Life to chase down another avatar. Just running around the server, using all kind of bullshit.

    Pulling the cord (or, you know, ALT+F4) doesn’t seem to be your typical criminal approach.

  • Earth

    Whatever.

  • Earth

    (did somebody say my name? what’s on me?)

  • Earth

    Nightmare on Elm Street works because it’s a psychopath murderer doing the killing, thus why the murders are so sadistically violent. Carrie works because it’s a scared, confused teenager with unknown powers being pushed too far. It’s a shame Unfriended seems to try to mix these two together, putting the sad teenage girl in the place of the psychopath murderer. Mike’s right, it just doesn’t really sit well.

  • tOmy`

    You hate Dj Shadow and Fatboy Slim?

    I mean sure, you can dislike them, but hating these fellas? They are so freaking harmless. That’s like hating a forest.

  • tOmy`

    Really, no hip hop during your days? Not to be guessing here, I don’t know your exact age, but hip hop dates back to 70s (some sources claim late 60s). And right from the start, turntables (DJs and early sampling and mixing) were there.

    That sorta means it is most likely either your generation or the first artists actually being older than you – especially considering that these people started at their late teens / early twenties. That puts them almost around the time these bands you mentioned were active – Rush actually could have debuted after hip hop.

  • tOmy`

    Then again, what doesn’t…

  • tOmy`

    The Saga of The Candy Crush Saga Crusher

    “They hit 4 in the row. Then they got hit 40 times in a row.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    baseball bats are fun.

    https://youtu.be/QHH9EYZHoVU

  • Andrew Thompson.

    my bad. everything you said was true. i read it wrong.

  • andypants1989

    I’d argue it’s more like hating the colour beige.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Its the 100th anniversary of the first world war.(or if your American its not for 4 years.) and there is lots of good docos floating around but….
    all i’m getting is Australian and English stuff. can my euro trash friends recommend some alternative perspective.

  • Hilary Manfat

    It’s also similar to Wargames, where a quick unplug of the WOPR would have fixed everything. The writers obviously cottoned on to that plot flaw, as General Beringer does ask why they didn’t just unplug it.

    From what I remember, the response to that very obvious idea was that turning WOPR off would put the missile system into an automatic threat mode, ensuring the missiles would be fired at the target. But surely unplugging the missile system also would have done the trick?

    Still, it was a ‘family’ movie, so I understand why some artistic licence was given.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Well, if some sources want to claim that hip-hop started with turntables, then I guess hip-hop goes all the way back to sock hops (what the hell, it shares a word), and, in that case hip-hop is the Big Bang of all contemporary music. Whatever.

    Yeah, I probably misspoke. “Rapper’s Delight” or whichever one is the one where what’shername revived her flailing soul career by putting some doofi together to do their raps over pre-recorded music happened sometime while I was listening to the transistor radio. My point was, is, very few, at the time, gave a sh!t, except on the East Coast. Funk was still alive and people were playing instruments, and it would be awhile before any of that would catch on beyond novelty status. And it was certainly not called “Hip-hop.” That phrase is post-“Rap.” So, you’re right and I’m right, and I declare flowers for everybody.

    Rush debuted in 1974, and they were being played on the radio from then on, though it was 80-something before they technically “hit.” In 1974, we should’ve noticed the stain, but we already had Bad Company and The Eagles to contend with, dope smoking was prevalent, Nixon and the post-war blues. We were distracted. I’ve already apologized. I owned Rush albums. Ditto Styx and Yes.

    But I was a dumb child. There should be a statute of limitations.

  • Hilary Manfat

    Not sure about documentaries, but there are plenty of books relating to the German perspective of WW1.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i have read Mein Kampf… to soon?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    To soon and beyond.

  • Hilary Manfat

    I’m still waiting on my signed copy of Mein Kampf. It’s been 90 years, and Adolf still hasn’t sent it to me. I’m starting to think that Hitler is not a very nice guy.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i know its got no narrative.
    and Beyond? star trek: beyond movie jokes really?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    watch out for that hitler, he’s a bad egg.

  • Hilary Manfat

    He was good in Downfall though. I almost cried at the end!

  • Hilary Manfat

    It also seems to work on the premise that teenagers are unable to function socially without computers, which may be a very astute study on modern youth culture, or it could just be a very lazily written and conceived piece of shit.

    I vote for the latter!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Neat.

  • Buk Pravon

    Yes, there are.

    I for one read only two of them:

    – Karl Kraus: The last Days of Mankind (Die letzten Tage der Menschheit)

    and

    – Edlef Köppen: Heeresbericht

    Both very good, as far as I can tell. 🙂

    I really don’t know if complete english versions of these two even exist. :/ But its probably worth a look.

  • Hilary Manfat

    Just read up on Last Days of Mankind. There is a now an accurate and decent translation available in English. Not sure about Heeresbericht though.

  • tOmy`

    Yea – i think the original thought was that “rap is the business, hip hop is the culture” – therefore hip hop is a combination of 4 key elements – MCing (rapping), turntables (djing), graffiti and breakdance (if I remember correctly). It just got lost in translation.

    And from what I recall, they used turntables to be able to “loop” a simple beat – as there were no money for more instruments or actual recording. But that is really stone age of hip hop. I am not arguing about the fact that the modern take on hip hop is 97% bullshit.

  • Hilary Manfat

    The example that pisses me off the most was Coolio’s Gansta Paradise. I’ve lost count of the number of times I argued with ignorant twazzocks that wouldn’t believe me when I told them it was a Stevie Wonder song. I don’t even think Stevie Wonder gets a songwriting credit either. Coolio is scum!

  • tOmy`

    It’s really fun sometimes to check out really old rock compilations and suddenly notice 5 accords in random song you have never heard before and realize: Hey! I know that from xy rap artist. Happened to me a lot of times.

  • tOmy`

    We are not that good with perspectives.

    But I can tell you what beer do I like.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Oh yeah, the “loop” thing. And, I’d even argue (if I were at all argumentative or an authority on the subject of music ;-/ ) that was a legitimate way of “playing”. Those beats or loops weren’t recognizable, generally, as phrases of pre-existing songs. Sampling was when it started to real annoy me, personally. Blondie and Tom-Tom Club and all that other stuff. It just seemed dishonest and lazy, somehow, to me and my peers. Then it became actual covers, like “Walk This Way,” which utterly bewildered me. Then Public Enemy turned it into an actual art form, which changed my perception for a time, followed immediate-ishly by N.W.A. which turned it all back to sh!t.

    Which brings us to jam bands using hip-hop rhythms. Was it you who said genres today were more distinct than before? I actually think it’s pretty muddled up, currently. The only thing that is missing from mainstream music is guitar-based rock.

  • Hilary Manfat

    I’ve thought of a great sequel idea for Mall Cop. It’s to be called ‘Mall Cop 3: “Maul” Cop’, in which Kevin whatsisface gets locked in a mall, turns feral and starts mauling customers on some sugar crazed rush, while muttering “I’m too old for this shit” and “How can the same shit happen to the same guy three times?

    Either that or he dresses up as Darth Maul. Can’t decide yet.

  • Hilary Manfat

    Everyone knows that World War 2 was the best war anyhow. It had the best action scenes, best baddie since Star Wars and lovely locations.

  • playdude92 .

    #KevinJamesRetirementKickstarter

  • Bubs

    Mall Cop 3: Mauled. Kevin James gets mauled to death by a bear for 85 minutes. Brought to you by Showbiz Pizza.

  • Hilary Manfat

    I like that idea better!

  • Jason Ross

    You guys always have farts on your show, but never blacks people. Wherefore no blacks?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I agree. Equality to blacks and farts.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    sharts*

  • Jason Ross

    blarts.

  • Mr_Wint

    Oh, well, if they were brown people it probably wasn’t considered a loss at all. See, I’m just an American, I live in a bubble, I don’t know anything outside of sex, prescription drugs and the O’Reilly Factor.

  • Charon

    “Hi, I’m your dead friend. I can do whatever I want.”

  • tOmy`

    Maybe Unfriended is just a metaphor about NSA.

  • Robby

    Unlimited power and unlimited pants-shitting?

  • tOmy`

    I am more of a Mogadishu clusterfuck fan. I like my civilists dead, as much as I like a good war story to end with an embarrassment.

  • tOmy`

    NSA – Watching you shit your pants since 1952.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Wait, are you trying to tell Mike everybody’s dead?

  • Robby

    I think this is one of those cultural differences. In America we use toilets.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, well… but… we have castles.

  • Robby

    Touché.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That’s Palpy. Except for pantaloons instead of pants.

  • Robby

    Are they stylish?

  • Robby

    GAME OVER, MAN. GAME OVER.

  • tOmy`

    Blockbuster Training Video from 90 with Buster Sales.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=34&v=Pc_yHON1oiQ

    Lemme just say it upfront: When he starts talking about opportunities, he should have taken that as an opportunity to tell Mariah to drop those awful pants. What is this, an Amish shop?

  • Mr_Wint

    ATHF beat these Unfriendly guys to the punch like a decade ago,

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00KsM8ftg4U

  • spicollidriver

    “Telling a joke is simple”

    telling a (good) joke might be simple, but coming up with one isn’t (movies like that Paul Blart thing seem to be the best proof).

  • DarkFluffy

    Castles rock indeed…but hard to keep warm in winter…
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malbork_Castle

  • Clip not avalable in your country? Wuuaat? I have two plugins for chrome that should let me watch it. Feels so 2012!

    Am I doing it wrong or do you live in the wierdest country possible?

  • Guest

    Dude, not cool, you just called The Best country on earth (‘Merica) weird.

  • Mr_Wint

    Dude, not cool, you just called The Best country on earth (‘Merica) weird. Type in ‘Video Qujia- Aqua Teen Hunger Force’ into your 1998 DELL NETSCAPE browser.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Have him wearing a “Dick the Birthday Boy” shirt, and I’m sold.

  • Robby

    Gorgeous. I personally prefer my castles dark and dreary. But that’s just me, because I’m such a happy-go-lucky scamp.

  • Insert disk 5/18? What? I have cassettes. I’m not getting this 3,5″ floppy thing. I just updated to MS-DOS… damn Microsoft.
    #putitinthemachine

  • Not Sound-Blaster compatible?

    ADLIB? Wuaaaaaaaaat?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Put it in the machine? I haven’t even met the machine!

  • It’s only cus you’ra geeky dork. #HAHAHAHA *shakes chins and grins*

    http://www.cloudproviderusa.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/abr0137l.jpeg

  • DarkFluffy

    overrated piece of paper outsite Germany since 1933… influence to society was nearly zero becauso noone read it.

  • A newly discovered form of life? #destroyit

  • Stephen Norman

    That’s because Patton is extremely talented and has gone on to do great voice acting, superb standup, and even some pretty good dramatic roles. Kevin James will be remembered as that guy from King of Queens. Patton is legend.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    crossdressing*

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Jaysus*

  • Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private?
    Private Cowboy Mall Blart: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn’t know they stacked shit that high!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Because I shine with the intensity of thousands of fanboys?

  • Robby

    You do massive disservice to Full Metal Jacket by comparing it in any way to Paul Blarp Blar Blarp.

    #Unsubscribe

  • RLMkeepitup

    they had black baby jesus picture prominent in plinketts house. and mike is attracted to sexy indian children. see equality.

  • Please don’t unfriend me… I am fat and I have a blender. I value my fat fingers.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Sigh, shouldn’t have let Mike out in the first place…

  • Where did he get that shirt from? Wow. Bon Jovi concert? Boy is this dated. Oh, right, Blockbuster.

    So… if he says nobody can hear them talk, does it mean that he’s a figment of her imagination or that every blockbuster employee eventually ends up like Randy Marsh?
    http://i.imgur.com/JLExU.jpg

  • supercrotchinator

    So, I read this in the comment section for Bleep Blarp: Meep Marp 2 on The Dissolve, and I just had to share it here: shit is to shart as blood is to Blart.
    Let your brain marinate in that one for awhile.

  • Mall Plarp: Butt Wart. Thank you for sharing.

  • Hm… Isn’t this and Jack and Jill basically #scammerfilmmakershaming?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *Urinate.

  • Paul Blart vs The Chopping Mall

  • Like Icare

    Not documentaries…
    But Erich Maria Remarque’s books (primarily All Quiet At the Western Front, The Road Back and Three Comrades to some extent) deal with WW1 and the aftermath from the German perspective.
    All three were made into movies in the 1930s.

    If you’re gonna go with the whole casus belli, I’d steer clear from anything produced in the Balkans post-1990s.
    There is much effort around these parts to rewrite history and fit it into current politically and popularly correct frames, through historical revisionism.
    There always was, but now it’s a bit… epidemic.

    The old version of the story (and history) was not devoid of imprints of the popular politics of the time.
    But that version at least held to historical facts and acknowledged the truth, glossing over less presentable details, presenting it all through a prism of revolutionary struggle and such.
    Princip and the rest were considered as heroic kids acting against the oppression by a foreign power, who gave their lives for a dream of a free country which they have not lived to see themselves.
    Feel free to imagine flags fluttering in the wind while reading that.

    For decades there stood a marker at the place from which Franz Ferdinand was shot. A simple, concrete slab with two footprints on it.
    It was removed in the 1990s, due to “being damaged in the war”.
    It was never replaced.

    Now there are histories and truths and interpretations, with terrorists and heroes and revolutionaries and conspiracies run by dark forces which rule the world and a LOT of simply made up nonsense paraded as THE REAL truth – all depending on who you ask.

  • Robby

    I ain’t never read one of them history books, and I ain’t about to start.

  • tOmy`

    I don’t think I said it and if I did, I was being wrong / context got lost.

    It’s exactly as you said – we are now in a land, where bassplayers learnt how to play dubstep drops, punk drummers work on hip hop albums, DJs make rock music and the “most obvious stars” of rock (those great bands, somewhat balancing between mainstream and “hipster”) are flirting with every genre possible.

    It’s a really a question whether this happens because of their influences or the technological advancement intertwined with possibilities. Out of top of my head here are two great examples:

    When you look at Radiohead’s influence / office track-list, you will have a hard time finding any rock band. On one side they have “friends” like UNKLE (trip hop / psychadelic rock), Portishead (trip hop), MF Doom (hip hop), Burial, For Tet, Flying Lotus (all dubstep); and on the other side they take inspiration from classical music, Greenwood is a massive reggae fan and Phil is sampling his own drums. It’s almost amazing that they managed to stay “rock” band for this long imo.

    And on the other side of the coin you have Muse – I think it’s clear they wanna be Queen + Radiohead + U2… I am not a big fan of their music, so I am just assuming that their “departure” into dubstep, classical pieces and god knows what else came alongside their love for “technology” and flirting with computers. (If you listen to Black Holes and Revelations, it is quite clear they were aiming for their own OK Computer, just with a different style).

    And that is how lines blur. And it is mostly because most of the big players since 90s became… some genre, that you cannot simply pinpoint. Faith No More, Radiohead, Archive, Muse… even last album by Blur is… blur. There is a lot of guitar driven, oldschoolish acts out there – they are not that unknown, but they are mostly not as celebrated as many others, just because they don’t push the envelope.

  • tOmy`

    Not to be that guy, you know, like… well, me, I guess… but The Chemical Brothers just released their new single taken from the upcoming album.

    Get your grumPa-approved glowsticks and get down.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OUqqsXVmlc

  • tOmy`

    Exactly what I meant.

  • Palpatine

    Everytime you bring up MCR, I always think of the My Immortal fan-fiction.

    PS-PREPZ FUK OFF!1!1

  • tOmy`

    I am glad my MCR trivia left such a scare that now you all read every band containing “Chemical” in it as MCR.

    #KilljoysMakeSomeNoise

  • Palpatine

    Sorry, I don’t know my bands that well.

  • tOmy`

    Apology accepted, I understand that you have no time since you are running Galaxy (to the ground) and what not…

    However, I can somehow imagine you after a hard day full of chocking and lighting, just sorta kicking back with some Enya on the background.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    kinda on topic:I recently saw Hanna and TCB score for that was supremely disappointing.I was expecting something on par with Daft Punk’s work on Tron[for no good reason so fuck me I guess]

  • Palpatine

    I’m an old man, so I enjoy myself older artists like Frank Sinatra.

  • tOmy`

    Agreed. However, I don’t think there is anything on par with DP’s Tron.

    Actually, if you haven’t heard it, there is a remix version of that soundtrack called Reconfigured: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tron:_Legacy_Reconfigured

    It’s awesome and contains some nice names.

  • That’s some music right there. The Rat Pack was great it had none of that Max Rebo bullshit.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I heard it.Nowhere near on par with the originals but that’s to be expected I guess.Bangalter’s scores for Gaspar Noe movies are top notch as well.

  • tOmy`

    “Flyyyy meee tooo the moooon”
    “That’s no moon.”

  • Palpatine

    So speaking of Happy Maddison, here’s the leaked list of all the product placements set to appear in Sandler’s movie Pixels:
    http://i.imgur.com/bhDl6c9.gif

  • tOmy`

    Also known as “script” in Sandler’s movies.

    Ba/dum/ts. I am off to a beer. Keep an eye on the galaxy till I come back.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think we can stop calling them ‘movies’ now, Sandler clearly has.

  • Watch out for the raccoons and twigs on your way.

  • Robby

    Working in accounting, these kinds of spreadsheets are very familiar to me. I know exactly how the person tracking all those expenses must feel. It makes me feel infinite emptiness on their behalf.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    He’s a large man!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I agree – WWI started strong with the assassination but got bogged down in trenches, pointless political dialogue, and the few characters it bothers to give a backstory to die way too soon.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The urban market stole Plinkett’s TV once, so there’s that.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I liked Hanna but was left wanting just a tiny bit more effort, somewhere, can’t put my finger on it. I feel like I want to like it more so that I can recommend it without thinking, “Shit, I should have said ‘Run Lola Run‘ instead.”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Of course, you buy your rugs at the same place.

  • Daniel Bakke

    And that’s just the Sony products.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s a b-movie schlock script that was given arthouse treatmeant by it’s director. it doesn’t work at all times but it’s an interesting viewing experience at least.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think that was it. If, say, Tony Scott had made it my expectations would have been properly set by the visuals. Come back, Tony Scott, come back.

  • Assbutt

    Adam Sandler is the Goebbels of Hollywood.

  • Guest

    He has no balls at all?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    So, he has no balls at all?

  • Palpatine

    And Plinkett sells them to me.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    *rimshot*

  • Mr_Wint

    ZIP-Drive compatible though.

  • Random guy

    Speaking of schemes, I haven’t noticed any substantial improvement in your output even though you guys make $11k monthly from Patreon. And where’s our Plinkett review you talentless hacks?

  • Random guy

    Or are you using that money to buy all the Nukie VHS tapes in the world?

  • Snake Squeezer

    But does he have any balls?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Go away, Steve Wynn.

  • Mr_Wint

    How many times, how many time… SpaceCop – Full length motion picture in post-production. That’s where it’s going.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Nothing like taking a nice shite in a castle!

  • Palpatine

    Is Steve Wynn related to Dr. Wynn from the Halloween movies?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Was that the one where the fat toad people fought the clones on avatar?

  • Snake Squeezer

    In America blacks are only allowed to be president, or shot.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Steve Wynn would never allow himself to be associated with a quality film in any way.

  • Palpatine

    If he’s Goebbels, then who would be Hitler?

  • Snake Squeezer

    I was wondering if they had wrapped production yet. Thank you, good sir.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Have you seen Star Wars: Goebbels yet? The first season was surprisingly good.

  • Palpatine
  • Palpatine

    Is that show on Disney?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes.

  • Snake Squeezer

    OMG, that could totally be Sandler in makeup.

  • Palpatine

    That’s a face that says; “Fuck you all, I’m one of the richest men in America.”

  • Snake Squeezer

    You gotta be rich to get away with wearing a suit like that.

  • Assbutt
  • Palpatine
  • WrongWithYourFace

    Here’s a question: If someone gets a lot of money but doesn’t switch to a more luxurious lifestyle, do they seem like more of an asshole than the one who buys the big house, the fastest car and the most expensive clothes?

  • Mr_Wint

    They would only seem like an asshole to assholes.

  • Screw the suit. Look at that face! I bet he can’t stop smiling after all the plastic surgery he’s been through.
    I kind of feel sorry for the guy, having to wear that self-inflicted shit eating grin for the rest of your life.

  • RLMkeepitup

    personality makes people assholes. One can be rich and still be nice. If you have the best lifestyle and are a total dick, no one is really going to like you except for your money

  • Robby

    If you’re having a moral dilemma, I can take the money off your hands for you.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Just something I started wondering about because of what was said below. Well, at least if I ever do get filthy rich, I have already gone through that dilemma. You can take your finger out of my ass wallet now.

  • SkaMP

    Jay needs his milk-money

  • SkaMP

    Oh right “Space Cop”

  • DarkFluffy

    No, I don’t think people donating their wealth to war orphanages are assholes… Hows your medicine btw… -_-

  • Snake Squeezer
  • WrongWithYourFace

    Who said anything about donations?

  • The Summer of George

    Say what you will about Steve Wynn but that fucker sang the crap out of Gimmie Some Lovin’.

  • Bubs

    I think it’s nigh impossible to be rich and not be an asshole. Look at George Lucas, he spent $200 million to build a low-income housing unit. But he only did it to piss off his neighbors.

    On top of that, the more money you have, the less everyone else has. You’re sort of an asshole by proxy because of that.

    So even if you have 10 trillion dollars, but you live in a trailer, you’re still a mega asshole because someone down the street is making ketchup soup for dinner.
    Money is a scam.
    #911WasAnInsideJob

  • DanceOfBirther

    Native-Americans walk off Sandler film despite being told “it’s not racist.”

    http://www.avclub.com/article/native-american-actors-walk-adam-sandler-movie-ove-218481

  • Bubs
  • Palpatine

    They’ll make a Trail of Tears about it.

    *Crickets*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That’s the thing: Is the guy who just basically sits on a pile of money a bigger asshole than the one spending it for their own convenience?

  • Bubs

    Then I guess the answer would be “slightly”. At least the guy throwing money around is helping the economy. But the end result is that they’re both cunts of magnificent caliber.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Will you make us pay the price for our lack of vision laughter?

  • Palpatine

    Yes, because your feeble skills are no match for the power of the Dark Side.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Well, it’s different if you become suddenly rich with no further income and sit on it, than if you keep making a lot of money without doing anything charitable with it.

  • Didn’t they get the memo?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFPf0aE6QhQ

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    When you say it, I can almost believe it’s all good, but one man’s envelope pushing can be another man’s paper-cut.

    For me, the technology has just resulted in an artificial distance, of a kind. I guess I’m just an analog man. It’s what I was weened on. It’ll always be my preference. To my ears (and Prince told me once there was nothin’ wrong with ’em), music is richer when it’s more direct. A voice plus an instrument. I don’t know if that makes any sense to you. But, at least I’m consistent: I never liked prog-rock for the same reason. I can appreciate artistic, technological curiosity, but it too often comes off as dilettante-ish.

    “Rock” to me, though, as always been broader than I’m copping to for this conversation, and it’s definitely to its credit and health that it stay broader than my personal taste.

    It’s just like with movies, however…I happen to like my tastes. Spent a long time developing them. Wish I could get them stroked more often.

  • DanceOfBirther
  • Palpatine

    What’s wrong with their faces?

  • DanceOfBirther

    It’s even worse than I imagined. I feel sick.

  • DanceOfBirther

    More like: “What’s wrong with their hair?”

  • RLMkeepitup

    good for them. white people are assholes (carrying over the logic below that if you have more $ than anyone else you qualify for the job)

  • instant relief

    Also, Mike needs his cocaine.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Getting all thinky in here – I like it! I wonder – who has done the most damage to their genre – Adam Sandler or Michael Bay? Or is deriding these two ‘punching down’ at this point?

  • Robby

    On The Podquisition, Jim Sterling basically said that often he appears to be doing nothing when he’s actually the busiest. I imagine it’s the same way here. At the end of last year there were a lot of grumblings because they went 3-4 weeks without putting anything new up, and then within four or five days we got a new Half in the Bag and the two part Christmas Best of the Worst.

    On one hand I do wish we got slightly more updates just to know what they’re working on, but the updates would probably be very dull. “We’re hard at work editing Space Cop!” x100.

    Regardless, I donate money to them because I support the things they do in general. It was never stated that Patreon money = more Plinkett reviews faster. If someone wants to act entitled and get upset because they aren’t producing the one thing they like from RLM, they’re free to stop giving them money.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    What must Mike be like when he’s hurting? Scary…

  • instant relief

    There’s no hurting on cocaine.

  • Robby

    Say what you will about Michael Bay’s movies, there’s a lot of genuine care put into the special effects. Very clearly movies, even if the dialog is bizarre and the low-angle ass shots pandering. Adam Sandler’s…movies…are just vehicles with enough seats to fulfill all his product placement responsibilities.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    All I can think of is Mel Brooks’ from Blazing Saddles saying, “Deys darker dan us!”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAYt6dpCgOI

  • instant relief

    Please, guys, for the love of god, watch some good movies for a change!

  • Palpatine

    What are these “good movies” you speak of, fine sir?

  • Robby

    I think I saw one of those once. It was so long ago now…

  • Palpatine

    I remember the last time I saw a good movie. No wait I don’t.

  • instant relief

    Don’t you know? There’s a whole world of wonderful movies out there.. Just use the googleses!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    If I had to pick the lesser evil it’d be Bay. However, both make films that use unnecessary amounts of product placement and the thinnest of plots. One wonders, is it more acceptable to do so in an action film than a comedy?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    M. Night’s at it, again. Found footage horror moopie.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfQnRjkuvaY

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The last good movie I saw was Son of Rambow. I walked snuck in the side door when no one was looking into the theater without seeing the trailer, reading a review, or hearing about it otherwise.

  • Robby

    I don’t think it has anything to genre. To me it’s intent. And the intent is usually pretty clear. Bay makes movies he thinks are “badass,” regardless of how they turn out. But with Sandler it just always feels like the movie comes second to all of the advertisements. Bay offends me intellectually, but Sandler offends me morally.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yes, but moral notions imply attributes to substances which exist only in relational duality. The old ‘can’t have one without the other’ paradox, if you will. /fallsover

  • Robby

    If I hadn’t seen actors I recognized, I would have legitimately thought this was a spoof trailer. I burst out laughing when the daughter said “Mom, there’s something wrong with Nana and Pop-Pop.” Fuck kids. Fuck families. Fuck the elderly. Fuck everything.

  • Robby

    Everyone’s entitled to their opinions. Except for my opinion, because mine is right!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The worst thing you can say to Mike & Jay is “good movie”.

  • Mr_Wint

    Uhhh, I you mean #morebeer

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Maybe he’s trying to piss us off?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Allll the nuuuuukie tapes in the woorrrrrld…” this is a song waiting to happen.

  • Robby

    I’m kind of hoping that after they get Space Cop squared away, they start either a new show sort of in contrast to Best of the Worst, or just do a weekly or whenever-they-feel-like podcast. I like their commentaries when they’re just talking non-specifically about movies.

  • Big McLargehuge

    Seriously if you want good horror dealing with technology just rewatch Videodrome. I watched it again last week for the first time in eons and it amazes me that a movie that prominently features fucking Betamax has messages that are even more relevant now than they were when it was made.

  • Daggoth

    Oh god the less said about Jack and Jill the better. Let’s not forget that the only reason why paul blart 1 got a pass was because you saw Jack and Jill after and hit rock bottom.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The title crawl said ‘years’ but you said eons, which is it?

  • Daggoth

    I meant the Zookeeper not blart fart 1. Both movies fucking blended together in my head

  • Big McLargehuge

    …what

  • Palpatine

    Like a fat guys hand in a blender.

  • An original thriller from writer/director M.Night Shanamalan?
    That was the scariest part.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The question is what’s the plot twist.

    Weird demonic source on the property that only targets old people?
    Grandparents have to sacrifice a child every generation to keep sane?
    Mom’s in on the act to get out of paying child support?

    Who knows!

  • No he just wants to warn people of plants and tell us aliens are allergic to water.

    #muy muy important

  • I think it could be like a “grandma wants to be an actor” thingy. The whole trailer is just compiled of clips that they shoot while grandma acts insane. Gramps is the insane one, or the boy. Something, something uursa.

    I dont hate M Night cus he gave us Unbreakable and Signs. But… I have no idea about the plot twist… and niether has MShabalagna.

    #damnshame

  • Galactic Shawn

    “Oh shit, look what I’ve done”
    – Steve Wynn after punching a hole in a Picasso

  • FestusOnigbinde

    First off, I completely agree that Kevin James is currently among the top 10 worst comedians in the world… at the moment (and for some years back).

    BUT, I feel I have to be the “devils” advocate here because I, as hard as it may be to imagine now, have in the past referred to him as the funniest comedian I know. It’s crazy! .. not really, because as the lead in King of Queens he showed some of the best comedic timing, at least that I’ve ever seen (and have seen since).

    Sure they had writers to thank but I also know James wrote many of the jokes himself.. and delivered them like I’ve seen no one do as consistently as he did over the course of the series.

    When KofQ ended I looked forward to seeing him carry on his excellence to Hollywood, but instead he just shat out some of the most horrible, cringe worthy “comedies” I’ve ever seen. I thought it’s because of bad company, i.e. Adam Sandler and shit gang, but that’s not 100% of it. I checked out some of his earlier stand-ups, he’s just not very funny in those either.

    So I figured maybe he’s just kind of narrow in which sort of milieu he can perform in to be that funny, he needs the right people and setting to deliver for real. But at his best nevertheless, he can be REALLY funny.

    In KofQ he was not the slap-stick fatty like in Zookeeper. He played a normal (still fat) guy and had characters arround him who were normal people, also a quality cast with Leah Remini, Jerry Stiller, Patton Oswalt (and for just a couple episodes even Ray Romano and Bryan Cranston).

    I don’t watch sit-coms much, but I kept coming back to KofQ, and it wasn’t for slap-stick or one liner/stand-up style jokes. I think it was to see Kevin James character interact with that balanced cast and characters which he did oh so brilliantly. And I think there’s other people who hopefully agrees with me because the series ran for nine seasons (although they never got really great ratings) which is the conventional max for american sit-coms i think. Or maybe they were just there to see the lowest common denominator stuff, which is also present (as in any sit-com) alongside the quality stuff.

    Even in King of Queens he was (inevitably) sometimes, of course not funny, which I was starkly reminded of when trying to find samples of his better moments on YouTube (“Best of Doug Heffernan” my ass, if anything it showed his worse side).

    Anyway, I know it’s hard to scrub off the Paul Blart Mall Blart right now even with steel whool, but here’s another side of Kevin James which hopefully will help you get a hint of the feeling I have that there’s some kind of latent comedic potential in him which has nothing to do with falling down and acting like a paulblartmallblart.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUZcnvHDGCg

    sry 4 any bad inglish hopefuly its alrite

  • Mr_Wint

    K James net worth: $80mil.
    If any of you have Kubrickian’ dreams of adapting your favorite book the ‘Silmarillion’ using stop-motion, film-stock and have relatively complete creative control, you better be prepared to have K James play Feanor. Cuz, that’s how the studio system works.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    He should be due for a massive heart attack by now – face down in a bucket of blow, if possible.

  • Mr_Wint

    Come on y’all, his movies make money!

  • Palpatine
  • Mr_Wint

    You know Palpy, your engine bases adds off of you past searches…

  • Palpatine

    So Adam Sandler’s The Ridiculous Six is going to have Dan Aykroyd in it.
    https://38.media.tumblr.com/7b197ea431d95281fb41dc9efa286ae4/tumblr_n7dulkrAjQ1s2bo4ko2_500.gif
    …I’m done.

  • Ogrot

    My guess is Adam Sandler promised him a lifetime pass to four UFO conventions of his choice and an unofficial promise to post comments on the conspiracy theory message board that he administrates in his spare time.

  • Ogrot

    The children are in fact evil and need to be destroyed to save America.

  • zaz926
  • Cream-A-Thon

    If it keeps a Doctor Detroit reboot from happening, so be it.

  • fred

    sooooo Daredevil….it’s the best thing ever.

  • Ren1

    Oh man! I can’t wait to take my grandma with me to see that! YAHOO!

  • Hey Palpy, did you hear how Nickelodeon bought the rights to the Mary Kate & Ashley videos? I think that means “Mr. Plinkett” is now the property of Nickelodeon. If there’s anything more embarrassing than being owned by Disney, it would be that.

  • dejectedchuckle

    Yeah but will Dan Aykroyd’s crystal skull vodka be in it?

  • Thanatos2k

    “Anthony, who told ICTMN he had initially refused to do the movie. He
    then agreed to take the job when producers informed him they had hired a
    cultural consultant and efforts would be made for tasteful
    representation of Natives.”

    I like how they just lied right to his face. Adam Sandler movies having tasteful representations of anything? lol

  • Thanatos2k

    How can they have care in the special effects when I can’t even see them due to all the motion blur and spinning cameras?

  • Thanatos2k

    Adam Sandler doesn’t take perfectly good properties from years ago and turn them into shit. Bay does.

    (Never mind, Sandler’s making a video game movie)

  • Thanatos2k

    Maybe they can buy their dignity back in a Louisiana Purchase.

    Wait, what-

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Lest we forget the Mr. Deeds fiasco. Never again.

  • Thanatos2k

    “So maybe you should help people. Maybe kill ISIS or something?”

  • Guest

    No, that’s Zookeeper 2

  • Thanatos2k

    No, that’s Zookeeper 2….

  • Thanatos2k

    You can’t just allow someone to unplug the missile system, or the Russian spies would do it.

  • James Earl Jones

    We could make Plart Blart Mart Clarpt be the new Nukie.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Babadook was good, haven’t been that genuinely creeped in a while.

  • Thanatos2k

    You gotta plan ahead. Wreck something in the bathroom so it gets blocked off while the janitors fix it. Then when they run for the bathroom they can’t get in. Have camera at the ready.

  • RLMkeepitup

    does he still sell those skulls? He’s such a genuinely chill guy but I think everyone smirks at his ufo theories

  • Thanatos2k

    I get it. The joke is that she’s fat!

  • RLMkeepitup

    is it 2.99 or 6.96 ? stop confusing the consumer

  • Thanatos2k

    Maybe you should inform the Imperial Council that your ability to use the force is diminished.

  • RLMkeepitup

    reminds me of my favorite Ray Liotta line: “face down in a Banquett pot pie”. i forget the movie

  • Thanatos2k

    Is that why you killed her in that fake car accident?

  • Kutulhu Mythos

    It’s all in the kids’ heads, as the grandparents are revealed to be…STILL ON AOL DIAL-UP!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    All movies happened.

  • Bubs

    The ending was nonsensical trash. Took me right out of the movie when the kid started floating around and being banged against the wall. Is there anything in the horror genre lamer than ghosts?

  • dejectedchuckle

    I think he’s still selling it.

    http://i.imgur.com/MYDAIbB.jpg

    HIs UFO stuff is strange and unintentionally hilarious but there are worse things to be into I suppose.

  • dejectedchuckle

    No results for ctrl-F “Half in the Blart” ?

    Wtf?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Will the VCR shop even be there when they boys get back?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I like how they count up to The Signs and stop, just to emind us of even the only kinda OK ones. And my grandparents are way weirder. Lame.

  • Bubs

    Here’s a question that involves a bit of self reflection: If Adam Sandler devoted a lot of time and energy to making a movie that wasn’t secretly a tax evasion scam, and was actually really good, maybe good enough to win some awards – would you give it a fair chance? Same question for Michael Bay, M. Night Shagadong, and any other Hollywood Frauds(TM).

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    So far, this 5 min. movie is better than anything I’ve seen..in my life, really. That includes my baby cousin smiling. Especially that. https://vimeo.com/76684408

  • Bubs

    I think this may be fake. Also I didn’t really like it. Sorry.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    NEVER!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I prefer assholes over cunts. Wait, what were you talking about?

  • Bob Borries

    This is the only show I watch on youtube where I set the video to HD, I wan’t to see every hair on Jay’s chin.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Hm, did Vice just use music from ‘Ravenous’? Weird.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Just don’t blow the house down.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Babies are overrated.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    ‘Blended’ was sort of okay… I’m probably holding the most dumb-hope for Shamalamadingdong, since I really liked 3-4 of his earlier films.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    wanted a doco and you gave me an essay from on the ground. from seeds like this documentary grow.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    so did i. i wanted him to suffer more.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    what VCR shop!? who would repair VCR’s? that never happened.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    ok. movie news makes me want to slash my wrists.
    i’m giving up on movies?
    Whos watching Orphan Black?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    but very tasty.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    without you providing links to references i cant say.
    its essay writing 101.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I gave up on it halfway through season one. Another good premise ruined by poor execution.

  • CGI babies are the future. Tell your cousin to get one of those. #unbeatable

  • Andrew Thompson.

    really? i think its brilliant. watch the rest. then you can have desert.
    if you can get to this moment and not love the show
    https://youtu.be/Cyu24DdxfBM

    then you can watch whatever you want.

  • Guest

    Native American actors walk off Adam Sandler’s The Ridiculous Six movie over ‘disrespectful stereotypes’

    http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/native-american-actors-walk-off-adam-sandlers-the-ridiculous-six-movie-over-disrespectful-stereotypes-10200584.html

    I see a pattern forming here.

  • Supermeerkat

    His lovely, lovely chin.

  • Supermeerkat

    Ah! Beat me to it!

  • Man, I just logged on to post that myself. I’m honestly hoping this snowballs into something bigger, and puts a cork in Sandler.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    so do i…. mostly the pattern i see is people posting this story here. your number 6. congratulations.

    https://youtu.be/nW-bFGzNMXw

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Sandler, yes, because he actually has/had talent at some point, and still occasionally makes a watchable film.

    M. Night I think is too far gone, whether it’s an ego thing, or he was never really skilled and just accidentally made some good movies early on.

    Bay’s pretty much forever a brodouche. His only good film was the Rock, and everything after that has actually had more or less the same mentality to them, just more retarded and pandering.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    A guy gets glitter all over his face… yay? I don’t think I’ll be going back to it anytime soon, so you can keep your desert, mistah!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Jim Carry. there might be something left of his talent.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    fine! but if you dont like Utopia your the next pair of kidneys for the black market!

    https://youtu.be/rcx-nf3kH_M

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    For Rich’s sake, Netflix, get your shit together. Don’t go touting everything as a ‘Netflix Original’. Yes, you can say that about things you’ve had a hand in producing but not about stuff someone else made and you just bought the rights to it. ‘Netflix Exclusives’ maybe? I miss the days when words actually meant something…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    The glitter is a metaphor.

  • Guest
  • Andrew Thompson.

    congratulations your number 7.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Did you know Samurai Cop is alive?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    and 911 was an inside job, the moon landing was fake and Twinkies made me do it.

  • tOmy`

    I am just gonna say it: If HBO pulls of True Detective with Vaughn and Farrell, I am gonna praise them as my new deity.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    euphemism*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    for seamen!!!
    https://youtu.be/InBXu-iY7cw

    that is way less gay than Cher’s turn back time….

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Blasphemy! There is only one Hole Trinity: Rich, Jaysus and Holyshityoulooklikeyou’veseenaghost-Mike!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You suck their cock enough as it is.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’ll praise anyone who pulls me off….

  • tOmy`

    Nonsence! For example: I found…

    Hm…

    Well…

    Oh, yea, Big L… rather… average…

    Fuck, you might be onto something.

  • tOmy`

    ’twas all Kubrick, man. He filmed it. And by that I mean Twinkies commercial.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    twink porn*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the 1980’s Twinkies drought was all Quberick.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Allegory?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i predict as i sleep 10 more people will post about adam sandlers racism…. for i am sycophancy!? physic? psychopaths?… something….

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Anal gory?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no. i’m allergic to similes.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Psi Cop*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I found this VHS back cover: http://i.imgur.com/4uFMtSj.png?1

    Any chance someone could translate it for me? I think it’s in Chinese.

  • tOmy`

    Possibly yes. Just out of curiosity.

    When it comes to Michael Boom, I would love to see him either returning to Bad Boys, or working on a great movie, but just solely for his visuals; script and direction would have to be handled by someone else. Sure, his visuals are over-the-top, in-your-face extravaganza, but as many pointed out before, he truly is very stylish and understands how to make shots dynamic.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    eeew! to soon.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I’ll be seeing you Mr Omitted…

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s a memo about NASA violins.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You go(a)t(s) me.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its an older code but i was going to pass it….

  • tOmy`

    It says I am a strong, beautiful, emancipated woman and if I choose any profession, I will make it as far as my male counterparts.

    Then again, what doesn’t say that these days.

  • tOmy`

    *haarps.

    Get it? It was an inside job.

  • tOmy`

    Do you remember when the word “harassment” meant something? I miss those days. Nowadays, I don’t even feel like stepping over the line.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    You can’t spell ‘harassment’ without ‘ass’ and ‘men’!

  • tOmy`

    A sneak peek into comic fans over at Dorkly comment section. They just released a small “funny” strip about Superman injecting Batman with polio. Batman claims it’s unfair, Superman retorts: “Oh, but if it was a glowing green rock, it would be okay, right, Bruce?” Get it? Good. Now onto the excrement:

    “Yes, it would totally be okay, you over-powered tit.” – 524 likes.
    Reply: “oh like Batman isn’t “overpowered” with the “because he’s batman!” excuse for every argument” – 231 likes.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Herasmynt. done.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Well, hyperbole might have been involved in my previous statement.

  • tOmy`

    Her as won’t be in a mynt condition, after I am over with her.

    GET IT?! It’s funny, because it is offensive.

  • tOmy`

    HOW DARE YOU?!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    (fart)

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no i dont… Pleas explain into this FBI issue microphone… i mean small daisy.

  • tOmy`

    Last time FBI told me to speak to that small daisy on agent’s collar, it shot water to my face.

    It seems, that unlike their CIA friends, these fellas didn’t manage to grasp the concept of waterboarding very well yet.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    and this is why superman vs. batman:dawn of shit will make a killing at the box office.

  • tOmy`

    Funny thing is, that no matter how it ends, at least half of the fanboy audience will be pissed.

    That is if they actually go for a duel or something.

  • tOmy`

    Duuuuude, so faaaaaaaake. Ever seen a pool with no piss in it?

    Duh.

  • tOmy`

    Dammit, I just posted the same thing. This is the second time this happened to us. It is quite obvious that…

    one of us…

    has to go.

    Dun-dun-duuuuuun.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    steve is tougher than she looks.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Oh they will go for a duel. It’s gonna be numbingly excessive and you will want to die while watching it.

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Bubs

    *SPOILERS*
    .
    .
    .
    .
    It’s you.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    We all know they’ll both end up equally shit-faced and then Supes says “we need to put our differences aside” and Batman’s like “Okay.”

    Roll credits.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    remember how superman can emit enough direct radiation from his eyes to melt steel? and crush coal into diamonds and fly fast enough to travel in time….
    bye bye batflek.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    is it a crime if we encourage then film then post nerds fighting to the death?…. it’s not for me a…. friend wants to know.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    this is the problem of round world. i’m drunk and sleepy late on friday night… and most of you haven’t finished work yet.
    thats why i’m joining “the campaign for a flat earth.” its time to think of the future.

  • tOmy`

    Can we call it a Discworld, then?

    Dibs on Australia being renamed XXX.

    #NerdsWillKnow

  • Andrew Thompson.

    your one X short.
    #Corectedbynerds

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its pronounced For-eks.

  • tOmy`

    In Czech, it is IksIksIks afair.

  • tOmy`

    Actually, this is weird: We apparently use both IksIksIks and For-eks. Hm.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    whats an iks?

  • tOmy`

    A Czech pronunciation of the letter X. Same as your “eks”.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    that pronunciation seems racist to me.
    like an 80’s american movies idea of eastern Europe…..

    https://youtu.be/vKM8T94GC2c

  • Mr_Wint

    Proper IPA spelling for the orthographic ‘x’ would be:
    /Eks/.
    #gradstudentpedanticness

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I wonder what makes repeated catchphrases (“That’s riht Jay!”) so endearing to people. I almost piss myself everytime I hear “Oh, and that’s a bad miss” way before anything really funny happens.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Its ANZAC day….. i take no reputability for any country hosting Australasian’s, where they get drunk and try and invade today.
    just tell them they win and wait till sunday. they will give your country back and apologize.
    https://youtu.be/ns82tHhJOr0

  • Andrew Thompson.

    people like to think they are in on the joke.

  • tOmy`

    ‘Furious 8’ Gets 2017 Release Date

    Following the huge success of Furious 7, Universal is moving ahead with the eighth installment. Vin Diesel says ‪#‎Furious8‬ will be “the best movie you’ve ever seen.”

    Let us celebrate! One more, final, final-ish, pan-final ride.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i know i live in the future but thats older news than this HitB. why do you think we made all the Jokes!? For fun?!
    I DIDNT HEAR ANYONE LAUGHING!!!!!

  • tOmy`

    Oh, I must have miss that. Damn.

    Same like the 7th installment. Damn.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    wait what?! i was just quoting the simpsons….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i miss that dame… puns!

  • Palpatine

    I had no idea that there’d be so many comments about the Native Americans walking off the set of Sandler’s film.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    just like guardians of the galaxy 2 will be the greatest thing since Citizen Kane eh Vin Dissel you damn snake oil salesman

  • Andrew Thompson.

    7 direct posts so far and a bajillion commnts. its like people hate Adam Sandler for some reason….

  • Palpatine

    How “popular” is he in the Outback?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i would pay to see ‘Vin Diesel’s: Citizen Riddik: the ironical’s of Rosebud.’

  • Mr_Wint

    Mr. Tomy, I cannot wait to see the best movie I have ever seen.

  • Mr_Wint
  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Tell you what, I bet Omitted likes men.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yes, but I see this only happening as a co-star for him. Maybe as an intense drum teacher…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think you mean analgee.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i live on the beach dude. i havent been in the desert for years… to explain. last time i was there people thought i was German or English because of my accent.
    the Melbourne accent, like this guy.

    https://youtu.be/KpBYnL5fAXE

  • Andrew Thompson.

    see IN jokes.

  • Mr_Wint

    Are you sure about that?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i have rhymed, commented, quoted, and punned. it was a good day….
    things are looking up.
    https://youtu.be/PrHLLgOqHeU

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Would you believe that this is all just an act and in real life I’m the biggest pussy hound there is? Would ya?!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    By ‘things’ you mean your penis, right?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    shhh! its all lies. there is no Australian accent….

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Is time ending? Will no further movies be made after Furious 8, thus enabling a final judgement of all films ever that finds 8 at the top?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you have a vagina? now i feel weird.

  • Palpatine

    Really? They thought you sounded German? It sounds more Scottish to me.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    not yet but keep going….

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Next they’ll tell me there was no Jessi.

  • tOmy`

    Either you really are and you have a problem.

    Or you just have a problem.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I liked the Get Smart movie.

  • Mr_Wint

    One of the first Australians I met when I lived out West was originally from Germany…

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Damn, and just before I wanted to come out.

  • Robby

    The first 8 or 9 were quite good.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the only time anyone here heard me speak was on this.

    https://plus.google.com/u/0/114089192088360284355/posts/bUas6DMyDQg?pid=6113779123886509394&oid=114089192088360284355

    i have two audible lines and the last bit is in my bad german accent.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Both.

  • tOmy`

    I want this but I can’t steal it. Where can I steal it. Post a link on this webzone. Tell me, where to steal it.

    Why are you doing this to me?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    we all came from far away.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    My jaw is starting to grow numb…

  • Mr_Wint

    You guys are everywhere out in Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Washington, etc.

  • Palpatine

    I’m from a different galaxy.

  • Robby

    I’d be extremely skeptical, but I guess if I heard enough good things I’d watch it/them. Adam Sandler’s movies are so offensive to me they retroactively ruined his decent movies. I have very fond memories of watching Happy Gilmore as a teen, but the more time passes I look at it and see how even though there was more effort in that than Jack and Jill and the like, you can already seen the money train moving. Subway becomes a plot point, Bob Barker makes a celebrity cameo, and I’m sure numerous other things I can’t recall. I don’t like to think I hold grudges though. If he made a genuinely good movie I’d like to think I would admit it and give him his due.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you have no idea how often i have herd that.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    and along time ago…

  • Robby

    It’s fkn 2015, who doesn’t have Spotify by now?

  • Mr_Wint

    #checkhismidichloriancount

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Ewww, why would you say something like that… I mean, uh, yummy, where can I find one? *gags*

  • tOmy`

    Cyberterrorists.

  • Robby

    There’s only one song that makes me feel better on Fridays:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    You know it happens to everyone sometimes

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Butterfingers Rock. one day i will upload the video i took of one of their last gigs at Ruby’s in Belgrave.

    https://youtu.be/QYf2Dh71RgY

  • Andrew Thompson.

    poor people?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    nutter*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    your mum!

  • Robby

    I hate you all.

  • tOmy`

    I want my .mp3, okay? Sorry.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats not what i meant…
    *Zipper *penis hits the floor sound effect.

  • tOmy`

    I am trying very hard not to imagine that sound.

  • Robby

    “WHERE DA WHITE WOMEN AT?”

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh
    *mouth waters*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    If its going to be that kind of party i’m gonna stick my dick in the mashed potato.

  • tOmy`

    I really don’t think this deserves a “song” label.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Can’t help it, can you?

  • Robby

    I find your lack of faith disturbing. Moar songZ!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIx8-yp8b04

  • Andrew Thompson.

    this is kinda worse….
    https://youtu.be/jV8nw85KAzo?t=2456

  • Andrew Thompson.

    fuck you! too soon!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i have an old Australian remedy for that poison!

    https://youtu.be/rBJLoYd8xak

  • Robby

    I’ll see your E-Z BeetZ and raise you ZOMBIES.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3Sgq7bnmHI

  • Andrew Thompson.

    nice now i want meat!

    https://youtu.be/UKNOJfHsbrU

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I get it! Because he’s a farmer, ha ha!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Tetanus is not funny!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i have to be up in 4 hours for the Dawn Service and at least look sober… night all.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You’ve got the problem.

    What was that? About catchphrases?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I her ya!

  • Robby

    I never make mistakes. If you diagree, 1v1 me irl

  • Good job ya auzzie gangstah

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted
  • tOmy`

    Since Andrew went to bed (cave), I can now safely leave this webzone as well. My leash is no longer needed.

    Guess what: It’s beer time! (Didn’t expect that one, huh?)

  • Mr_Wint

    Drinking at 19:00 on a Friday? Whattttt?

  • Palpatine

    Adam Sandler has a talent of ruining the career’s of more than just actors. The cinematographer for Jack and Jill was, I kid you not, Dean Cundey, who worked on movies like Jurassic Park, Back to the Future, and Halloween.

  • Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: A jelly doughnut?
    Private Pyle Mall Blart: Sir, yes, sir!
    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How did it get here?
    Private Pyle Mall Blart: Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir!
    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Blart?
    Private Pyle Mall Blart: Sir, no, sir!
    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts, Private Blart?
    Private Pyle Mall Blart: Sir, no, sir!
    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: And why not, Private Blart?
    Private Pyle Mall Blart: Sir, because I’m too heavy, sir!
    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Blart!
    Private Pyle Mall Blart: Sir, yes, sir!

  • O
    /|
    /
    That’s a hangman if you haven’t noticed.

  • Ogrot

    The kids are in fact midgets who the mom (accomplice) uses in needlessly elaborate capers that involve robbing poor old people suffering from dementia.

    But the boldest twist is that the audience for this movie is in fact imaginary.

    Also doesn’t grandma remind you of the old lady from The Devil Inside?

  • Ah yes, I see it. Resting his head on a furry Dingo-pillow, constantly woken up by the sounds of predators. Keeping his gun near by, praying he could get just an hour of sleep.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    …and Escape From New York.

  • I think you’re confusing Czech Republic with Australia.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Tag line will be: “One Last Ride… Again.”

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    They even used the track “The Cave” in a scene involving a cave! How creatively bankrupt!
    I’m not sure I can cite without uploading copyrighted material… I won’t let you lead me into a life of crime, Andrew Thompson!! Stop trying to infect me with your convict lineage.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Said the dingoooo.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Colin Farrell is one bridge too far for me. I’m skipping this season of True Detective.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    *Czech Dingo pillow

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Full Metal Dinner Jacket?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Oh, and how could I forget The Thing too! A lot of the early Carpenter movies

  • This episode should have been titled “Kill Me. It’s April.”

  • Mr_Wint

    *Bratislava

  • Mr_Wint

    Full Blown R-Tard

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Did you know Wisconsin was #1 among US states in bar to supermarket ratio? It’s 2.7:1 and might explain a lot. Or will it?
    http://shirt.woot.com/offers/cheers?ref=cnt_wp_4_10

  • Palpatine

    Does Private Pyle Mall Blart blow his brains out with a 7.62 mm on a toilet?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    You expect to hang around this shitmanhole and not get even a little bit dirty? Dream on, sistah!

  • dejectedchuckle

    Hey everyone, did you hear Adam Sandler drop kicked an old native woman on the set of his new movie? I was there on the set when he did it and then he did it and then he looked at me.

  • Palpatine

    That bastard!

  • instant relief

    Leave Adam Sandler alone!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Classic. With any luck it’ll be on his ‘In Memorium’ Oscar reel when the time comes. It comes for all, you know.

  • Evertale

    I wonder, if Kevin James will be unfriended by most of Hollywood after Paul Clarke: Mall Mop 2.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    No, no he won’t.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    “The examples of disrespect included Native women’s names such as Beaver’s Breath and No Bra, an actress portraying an Apache woman squatting and urinating while smoking a peace pipe, and feathers inappropriately positioned on a teepee.”

    Maybe it reads better.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    We still have Pixels to get through.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    It’s always beer time in here! Except for the many times it’s not.

  • Palpatine

    Reading that gave me cancer.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Sounds like excerpts from Johnny Depp’s research notes for The Lone Ranger.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    A space cancer? I am just really curious how do you inappropriately position feahers on a teepee.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Have you guys seen Asian people? Hilarious.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Pending approval from Disqustapo.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    She likes flavoured vodka. I gotta be honest, I am not the biggest beer drinker.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I hear they’re really good at translating S.O.S. boxes.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    We’ll always have those funny fuckers with mental and physical handicap.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Hard liquors ftw!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I like clear vodka myself the best. Say, Finlandia…..

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    They got nothing on Eastern Europeans! Wait…

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Too expensive brand for me. I get my 160 proof stuff from Estonia.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I totally forgot in which rundown village with creepy old ladies in shawls, I left my prostitutes this morning.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    It is only a rare occasion, which calls for a Finnish taste in my mouth.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    You gotta take better care of your hoes, bruh!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    But a new amerikankaja show is on today, Baywatch!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    You have no evidence!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    I could finish in your mouth if you like…

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Finally we landed in a safe territory

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    If you don’t stop yapping and open up, it’s gonna go all over your face. It would cover everything that’s wrong with it, though…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Woody Allens waaaay ahead of you both:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGj1smf-_vc

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Wait, some Fin was supposed to see Avengers 2, right?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    There wasn’t much to rave about.

  • I’ll look into it. Ill try to find the script.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I am the least hyped person about it. I have to walk past a giant poster of it on the way to work. Fuck you, Tony, some of us didn’t have a Howard Hughes-like dad!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    If you’ve seen any of the trailers, you know exactly what you’re getting. Exposition – character beat – funny moment – action scene, rinse and repeat.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I cannot get past the fact that Ultron looks way too ridiculous.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Oh, you’re gonna love Vision.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Oh, Paul Bettany. I know he has kids, but how many colleges do they really need to go to?

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Both, duh.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Blueberry carp or dust!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    There better be some Tom scenes in Fury Road that get me hardy, or there will be hell to pay…

  • *does Beavis and Butthead impersonation*

    – Yeah, eh heh heh. Like, no.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    impersonation*
    Hey, those guys are hawt!

  • Mr_Wint

    Pa’s not much better.

  • instant relief

    I wish Adam Sandler and Jorgé Lucas would make a movie together.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “I am the least hyped person about it”

    You got nothing on me and Pa kent.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    My fashionable hazmat-onesie is suppose to take care of that. Inside I am as pure as the driven succubus…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yeah, a snuff film!
    You’ve all been great, try the veal!

  • instant relief

    …and it would be shot on the RLM studio lot! SHAZAM! HEUREKA! BEST IDEA EVA! OMFG, PMS’ING!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think Grown Ups is going to get blown up.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Is “Percocet” food?

  • Robby

    You’re doing it again!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I was looking forward to it, until they released that clip with Thor, Cap and Iron Man talking to Ultron and the 2 Maximovs, where they are in some sort of factory. I’m still gonna watch it, but fearing there might be too much “Whedonisms” this time around.

  • Heyoooooooo!

    Also that Transcendence. #sleepingpill

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We should have a new series of laws called Anti-Sandler laws stopping shit like this from happening.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Any thoughts on Johnny Depp’s possible failure of a movie about Whitey Bulger?

  • I thought you only had eyes for Jay’s?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    There was too much of them the first time round.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Would you say Transcendence put you in a dense trance?

  • My ex wife

    Aww, camels are so cute!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    See – Happy Madison gave thought to a thematic visual gag, so its a good movie.
    No. Wait. Fork movies.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Pa Kent has returned to his home planet.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Hey guys, what’d I miss?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s working! It’s working!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    His next film is Escape from Sandler.

  • Huh?

  • It did, sir. I love these kinds of movies. Trancendence is in my guilty pleasure list. It sucks and mr Depp is phoning it in but hey, guilty pleasure man.

  • Mr_Wint

    Star Wars Episode VII grossed $2 billion.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Shit, it’s early 2016 already?! I’ve been gone longer than I thought …

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’ve been binge watching Breaking Bad these past few days. I started with the first episode back in late 2013 or something [I just checked, it was September 29th, 2013], then never continued … until now.

    It’s a damn great show. I’m surprised of the quality when compared to films. I guess it’s true: TV has really caught up [or at least shows/programs in a TV format]. I think I prefer watching whole series once they’ve been released instead of waiting for new episodes.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It is how I feel about Gattaca, I feel ya sistah.

  • Mr_Wint

    Time flies when you’re not having fun.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Not a whole lot” – Richard Linklater.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Not to HAARP on the Sandler meltdown but it does seem like the studio knows what they’re getting into with him. Does this make what Sandler’s getting away with OK or worse?
    “On Candyland, [Minghella] was just servicing Adam,” Doug Belgrad, president of Sony’s motion-picture group, chimed in.”You said yourself that Adam was gonna be angry and . . . you couldn’t fix what was really bothering him,” Belgrad added to Pascal, “that he isn’t the guy he once was and nobody can make that better for him.”
    http://pagesix.com/2014/12/21/adam-sandler-is-an-a-hole-sony-exec-in-hacked-e-mail/

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I will not fuck kids and the elderly … and I’m a horny young man!

    I might fuck families but it depends.

  • tOmy`

    You are sexy and I agree. Breaking Bad raised the bar really high – even when we “forget” some HBO shows airing before that.

    Fuck movies. Viva la TV.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I just saw a shirtless old woman from behind. I think I saw some wiggling side-boob …

    NO thanks.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s even creative enough visually to keep my interest. I’m jealous of their ability to pull off what they pulled off.

    I’m midway through Season 2 right now.

    I’m sexy? Thanks. I can only get off to mirrors … but they’re not real because our eyes aren’t real.

    #ThanksJadenSmith

  • Like Icare

    What did Obi-Wan Kenobi tell to Han Solo when they first met?
    “Han, booby, I’m a Jedi knight.”

    This came to me in a dream just now. That, and a great urge to pee.

  • Just like Bob Kane and Batman. Brilliant!

  • … cabbage?

  • tOmy`

    If you are only midway through Season 2, there is much more artsy stuff in store. That show really did manage to be artsy to the last second. And that is coming from a guy who never bought into the massive hype about it. Actually, these past days I am thinking about rewatching it, because it is so gorgeous just to look at.

    There is so much good TV (from past, from present), but Breaking Bad really did manifested on wanting to look cool and badass. And they pulled it off 110%. It may not be the smartest thing around, but it is pants-shittingly well created in comparison to 80% of mainstream cinema.

    If you like what you see, I think True Detective and Fargo are the best next step.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of “when TV became the next Hollywood”: Do you think Twin Peaks was the first spark? And if not, what was? Oz? The Wire? The Shield? What is your take on the first show that “rewrote” the rules?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m thinking both True Detective and Fargo but also about House of Cards. I’m currently watching a Canadian show called Orphan Black. That’s not as high of quality but I rather enjoy it.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    For HBO it was definitely The Sopranos. In a twist of fate, FOX rejected it, but around this time I think cable & TV started to improve. By 2004 we were getting Battlestar Galactica and LOST levels of quality programming.
    Edit: It’s not TV, It’s HBO.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The Price is Right.

    Truly cinematic.

  • tOmy`

    Heard good things about it, it is on my list.

    I ranted a lot about House of Cards, so I am not gonna repeat myself too much. I am just gonna say: For a show of this style and this skill, it is surprisingly lacking any message. I got the point 20 hours ago, now I am just in for a ride with not much to care about (S03E03).

    True Detective was simply great – except the ending. HBO shows don’t end like that. That was mainstream bullshit.

  • tOmy`

    I always bring this up, but hey. All fans know how mesmerizing was this scene for the first time.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBcbc8eWz6U

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The “Seven Souls” opening has haunted me since whence I first seen it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzNB_Y9cXi4

  • Palpatine

    I think it all depends on what time frame we’re talking about. If we’re talking about a show from this decade, I’d say either Breaking Bad or The Walking Dead renewed people’s interests in big-budget TV shows.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Behold guys this is Jared Leto’s and David Ayer’s Joker. WARNING: THIS IS NOT A JOKE, PUN NOT INTENDED
    http://oyster.ignimgs.com/wordpress/stg.ign.com/2015/04/JOKER_LETO.jpg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sopranos was the spark I think The Wire and Breaking Bad when they first premiered made it the new Hollywood.

  • Palpatine

    He looks like an overly-tattooed meth addict who dyed his hair green.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    You know that face Mike makes at 1:48-1:57 is this video? I’m making it now.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    We’re laughing now but if those darn kids of today are turning their lips into airbags at the behest of a Kardashian imagine what they’ll believe in in 10 years when Jaden & Willow are married and shilling for Scientology full time?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    David Chase wanted to work in The X-Files if The Sopranos was rejected by HBO. So, X-Files deserves some credit there. Without X-Files, no Breaking Bad. Vince Gilligan’s words, not mine.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I am too. My god this is awful. Say what you want about the DC movies so far the costumes and the actors in them look fucking awesome. Ben Affleck especially. So why come up with this crap? It’s like All Star Batman and Robin.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Can’t say I agree about DC movie costumes, but compared to this? Yeah, I guess.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I also can’t believe that this is Batman’s nemesis and not just any Batman’s but the giant, holy shit he looks scary batman they have in their movies. This edgy emo wannabe fucker mentally tires Batman?

  • Mr_Wint

    ‘People of Wal-Mart’

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “He doesn’t floss. That’s scary.” I don’t know, all I see everytime something new from DC is released is the executive lady from The Itchy & Scracthy & Poochie Show.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    In fact maybe Jared Leto’s Joker is the Poochie of this new cinematic universe. Think about it. Superman is in the public eye still Superman the boy scout and Batman is fucking Batman, only now he’s like the Arkham one. So they realized they need to spice things up and added an edgy cool/hip character into the mix.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    a straight-up clown is scarier than some tattooed douchebag

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean the Umbrella Corporation?

  • Mr_Wint

    Of Racoon City?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yeah, doesn’t look at all like James Eagan Holmes. Not. At. All.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    true

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I think NYPD Blue deserves some credit.
    but the X Files. it showed the networks with time money and a cast you can actually make good tv. they didnt have to make a tv show look like a tv show.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i find that image genuinely disturbing…. because this is what movies have become. fuck you “Fuck you its year.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, Andy, it’s Fuck You For Another Goddamn Year!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Insert emotionless face of Mila

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’ve seen the Marvel and DC production lists for the next 10 years… its, Fuck you for the Foreseeable Future.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Let’s get on track with the Joker. I found some fitting music that rhymes with CRAAAWWLING IN MY SKIIIIINNN!

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Wizard Phoenix

    No I mean the other Mila.

  • Jason Ross

    When this “HBO Feature Presentation” bumper first aired in 1976.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdig5C0pwuk

  • Mr_Wint
  • Mr_Wint

    I think it would be more interesting if he covered in Germanic Runes and was overtly gay. Oh wait, can’t do that anymore…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Hot Tub Time Machine 2 has made almost as much domestically in one month as Strange Magic has YTD.
    Hot Tub 2:
    http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=hottub2.htm
    Strange Magic:
    http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=strangemagic.htm

  • ArtCarnosaur

    This is the very definition of “trying too hard.”

    Maybe Leto can turn it around with a really amazing performance, but if he succeeds, it will in spite of this design.

  • Palpatine

    When people saw Heath Ledger’s Joker for the first time, they were skeptical, but they were impressed by his amazing performance. Hopefully Leto can do the same.

  • dejectedchuckle

    Deviant art presents: The Joker

    Well, I think that looks uh, stupid, but I can remember when everyone was having a fucking meltdown about Health Ledger’s joker when they revealed him. His skin wasn’t bleached white! What’s with the hair! It’s the fucking Crow! Hot Topic! Emo!

    So… I mean I have no interest in what Warner Brother’s DC movies are offering as is and it’s not the fault of this image or this “look” or whatever that is supposed to mean.

    At the very least, I am (pleasantly) surprised that they simply didn’t create a facsimile of Ledger’s version of the character, which would have been very easy for them to do. It also has the benefit of actually looking less stupid than the current comics iteration of the character where, last I heard, his skin was ripped off his face and he wore it over his exposed face-flesh like a mask. But I don’t read comics regularly so maybe that got changed.

  • ArtCarnosaur

    It would be a pleasant surprise, but I have a hard time seeing it. It seems to me that DC is just trying to shovel as many characters on screen as they possibly can so they can catch up to the MCU.

    In my head, I’m seeing noisy, confusing, irritating movies like Man of Steel. If Leto pushes a little too hard, and the character is as over the top as this design, it could actually end up being painful to watch.

    I would be very happy to eat a big plate of crow when Suicide Squad and Batman vs. Superman come out, but my gut feeling isn’t good at all.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Submitted for Omi on the occasion of Anal Sandler:
    http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/schmitts-gay/n10163

  • James Earl Jones

    Have you grown a long white beard and your musket is all rusty and rotten?

  • Square Peg

    If he does it would be in spite of the design.

    Motherfucker has “HAHAHA” sharpie-tattooed on his shoulder and arm. That’s something an idiot 12 year old would draw on his trapper-keeper.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I felt like Whedon was somewhat restrained in The Avengers. Or maybe having all the heroes together for the first time was enough to offset what annoys me of Whedon’s works. With the success that one had, they surely gave him free reins, and from the reviews I’ve read, the movie suffers quite a bit from it.

  • stephenstempo

    I hate to be that guy. But as a craps dealer. Sometimes you actually do start telling people where to put their money. Now I didn’t see the scene so it’s probably over the top, but yeah, you sometimes do. It is rare though. ty

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Hate leads to suffering.”

  • Square Peg

    Kevin James was the least talented or interesting character in King of Queens.

  • Like Icare

    No.
    He looks like someone TRYING to look like a meth addict so he went way over the board with tattoos.

    Particularly that one on the forehead.

    Is that an American thing?
    Conscious reading? Where you see letters, then you consciously group them in words, then you understand what they mean?
    Or is it like everywhere else in the world where once you learn how to read ideas written down with letters automagically translate into concepts they describe the moment you lay eyes on them?

    So that every time Jared-Joker shows his face you read “Damaged”.
    Which would be fine if he’s a supporting character, one who does not talk much… but we KNOW that they will just stuff his mouth with exposition and “funny”.
    And then we get something like “HEYdamagedBATS!damagedHOWdamagedDOdamagedYOUdamagedLIKEdamagedTHEdamagedOURdamagedNIGHTdamageOUTdamagedSOdamagedFARdamaged!!!damged damageddamageddamageddamageddamaged!!

    Visual spam. It IS a real thing.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Doesn’t work for me. Neither the video nor the man.

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • Like Icare

    It’s not Sopranos.
    Sopranos was just another show. Look at the rating for the first two seasons.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sopranos#Ratings
    As usual, it takes off at season 3, after two years of running.

    It was Tom Hanks.
    “From the Earth to the Moon” got him, Howard, Grazer and their whole teams to TV, making a show which looked and felt like 12 sequels to Apollo 13, a big budget summer blockbuster.
    Then, after establishing that you can make TV as good and as watchable as movies, Hanks made the best show ever. EVER.
    9.6/10 from 167,845 users on imdb.

    Band of Brothers.

    Everyone loves that show.
    EVERY-ONE!!!

    Then it was back to 9/11.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Petersen doesn’t, does he?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Why must you reduce everything beautiful to cold numbers? Is there no room for emotion in your world?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    This incidental music from Dawn of the Dead sounds awfully familiar:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V66m52YFZBg

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    This is something I can get behind.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    My cock heart belongs to Jay, but sometimes my eyes wander…

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Sorry, my bad. I must have used too much chloroform. Why don’t you sniff this rag to see if I got it right this time…

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Watching your Batman v. Superman trailer reactions:
    “I just ate food.”
    I think you meant to say ‘dick’?

  • Red Skeleton

    Happy Anzac Day. Time to fellate celebrate Australia by posting a song from the greatest Australian film ever made:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbQSAdU4Qb4

  • Red Skeleton

    Close enough.

  • They’re too late, the Batman vs. Superman duel from the “World’s Finest” animated movie is still the greatest.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5UJ9evRPfE

  • Thanatos2k

    I thought you were just really old, not that you had horrible skin cancer on your face.

  • Thanatos2k

    Why didn’t you drop kick Adam Sandler? YOU WERE THERE. SAVE US.

  • Thanatos2k

    Of course not. But maybe I’d see it later if it was actually good.

  • Though they too come across looking all manner of silly. What, you didn’t realize what you were signing up for in an Adam Sandler movie? This is the film industry equivalent of that guy who refused to go to Iraq because he had absolutely no idea when he signed up for the U.S. Army that they occasionally get deployed killing people in the Middle East. “When we signed up for ethnic gags in a Sandler vehicle, nobody told us that *we’d* be the butt of the jokes”.

    Then after weeks of filming the last straw is a “peepee in her teepee” joke? At this point in the production, that’s surely just a rounding error.

  • From how sleepy he looked in this video he needs his cocaine with a side order of speed and a gallon of Red Bull to wash it down.

  • Isn’t that the list of Sony products being provided for free for the production in return for the one or two actual products that will make screen time? Unless they’re doing a Matrix Reloaded parody I can’t imagine that many TVs being on screen over a 2 hour runtime, and the soft carrying cases probably aren’t even branded. Ditto “studio monitor series headphones”.

  • And you ordered it off that totally legit looking website too.

  • Weird Al got Stevie’s revenge.

  • And that it gave inspiration to all the guys Kevin James size or larger who looked at Leah Remini and thought “yep, that’s the level of attractiveness I need to be holding out for”.

  • Ricky, when the Shithawk spreads it’s wings you’re going to fall under it’s beak.

  • Yeah it’s one of those ridiculous YouTube quirks. “You can’t use this song in a video” after you ripped the mp3 from an EXISTING YouTube video. Lazy rules are easier to implement and keep RIAA lawyers at bay just as well as sensible and effective rules do.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    they use it in Shaun of the dead as well.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Anzac day, huh? Andrew, tell us all about your weird customs on that side of the globe.

  • tOmy`

    So I just found my ID is beyond expiration date and there is a pretty hefty fine for that. However, during the time it was expired, I was able to:
    1) Buy alcohol
    2) Buy cigarettes
    3) Create a new account in a bank
    4) Get a travel insurance
    5) Collect money from an old insurance
    6) Travel abroad
    7) Kill hookers

    This system is great.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    well 100 years ago today we invaded Turkey… a few people got shot, then we went home.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    see this is what happens you get sloppy and your id is out of dated, then the cops are all “so whats in the box?” and its all down hill from there.

  • tOmy`

    “The Australian: Journey From A Shithole, To A Shithole And Back”

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Wikipedia describes this day as the most solemn day for ‘Stralians. So no tickling the ballzac on Anzac?

  • tOmy`

    Damn, too late.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Yeah, mine expired back in 2013. I have my passport as a back-up and it’s good for another year or so.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Morning wood, eh?

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • tOmy`

    My passport is valid as well. The problem is that if you don’t ask for a new ID within 15 days after expiration, you pay up to 370 euros. Now that does not seem much to you I guess, but this sum was more than enough for my whole week trip to Denmark / Sweden, or enough to buy tickets for two major festivals + all the money I will spend there.

    So… fuck, I guess.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its 7pm everyone gone home.

  • tOmy`

    Nice kitchen.

  • tOmy`

    “Suffering leads to fecal urgency.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    this means woar. Release the BATS!

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    It’s midday here and I’m already home.

  • tOmy`

    That is actually rather plausible threat. I bet Australian government already has “Militarized Animals Program”.

  • tOmy`

    It’s not midday here and that is odd, as I am in the same time zone as you.

    Were you lying to me?! This relationship is… well, kinda usual.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Wow, that’s harsh. Here it’s more like “Oh, your ID has expired, you really should get a new one”. No fines involved. I guess you Czech people need to be more strictly regulated. Believe me, 370 euros is a big sum for me too. If I had that kind of money lying around I would be halfway to Milwaukee by now.

  • omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomitted

    Wow, that’s harsh. Here it’s more like