Half in the Bag: The Wolf of Wall Street and 2013 Re-cap

January 2, 2014922 Comments

As with previous years, Mike and Jay close out 2013 by seeing an actual good movie by a well-regarded director. This year it’s Martin Scorsese’s crime epic The Wolf of Wall Street. Meanwhile, Mr. Plinkett eats a 37 double bacon cheeseburgers because hijinks.


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Filed in: General UpdatesHalf in the Bag

  • Marvin Falz

    Thanks to Red Letter Media.

    • Percy Gryce

      What’s wrong with your praise?

      • Marvin Falz

        I tell you what’s wrong with my praise. It’s missing. Yet. I’m going to correct this right now.
        -
        I praise Jay’s acting in the Scorsese parody. And just as I don’t believe in Rich’s assessment that Rich isn’t “charismatic on film” (History of Plinkett, Archive Collection 1), I believe that Jay’s assessment (““Jay” is the only character my limited acting skills can kind of pull off.” – Comment section of HitB: The Conjuring) is wrong and that he’s able to improve.

        • Percy Gryce

          Here’s what I liked about your comment:

          (1) Mike was not ruined in your comment.
          (2) You cited your sources.
          (3) I liked it when it was over.

          • Marvin Falz

            I still think Jay’s able to improve his skills. They’re all able to improve, they show us all the time. Half in the Bag and Best of the Worst are the best of the best examples.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I like Jay in Gorilla, Interrupted.

    • Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi

      And like Jordan Belfort, Mike and Jay snort coke out of hooker’s assholes.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        She farts coke dust? Cool!

  • http://flesheatingbug.deviantart.com/ Som

    Hooray , christmas is saved!

  • Wasperheimer

    Fuck oranges and comics, a new episode of HitB!

  • JohnBigbooty

    The beer/cigar thing at the beginning reminds me of Charlie Sheen’s changing hair in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Ha.

  • Paulus Cañamonjas
  • lIllllllllol

    You say ‘Goodfellas’ a thousand times but never mention ‘Casino’ once.

    • Percy Gryce

      And?

  • Lars Söderberg

    Predictable Scorsese, a director everyone loves but I hate. Overall well made movies, but always the same flaw; it’s impossible not to figure out the ending in the first act. I can’t think of any other director with that same problem, at least not to the same extent.

    • Ahnult

      Well Raging Bull, Last Temptation of Christ, Kundun, Goodfellas, Gangs of New York, The Aviator, Casino and Wolf of Wall Street were all based on true stories and real people, so their endings should’ve been no surprise., really.

      And Cape Fear and The Departed were remakes of well-known movies….

      And Bringing Out The Dead, Age of Innocence, Shutter Island and Hugo were adaptations of best-selling books…

      And The Last Waltz, No Direction Home and Shine a Light were documentaries on famous bands….

      So basically, you’re saying you called the endings of Mean Streets, Taxi Driver, New York, New York, The King of Comedy, After Hours and The Colour of Money all in the first act. I’m calling bullshit, sorry. ;-)

      • Lars Söderberg

        It’s alright… :) Can’t say I have seen all of his movies (because the ones I’ve seen have said problem) but if we just take the movies from the last 10 years (movies I still have fairly fresh in my memory), I can say with certainty that I’ve experienced this with every movie. I had not read or seen any of the books or old movies prior to Scorsese’s adaptation, so that argument is invalid.

        I’ve been told that I think too much when I watch movies, that I should just watch and be happy with a well produced movie. I can’t do that. I always try to see beyond the obvious and when things unfold roughly as predicted I get bored. Scorsese bores me, while e.g. David Lynch keeps me intrigued. This is obviously completely subjective, but hey, that’s the way we watch movies.

        • Ahnult

          But literally, all his movies in the past 10 years have been either famous biographies or adaptations of famous, previously written works. Seems like your issue is more with the stories themselves, not the director, as the endings to these were already set in stone before Scorsese came on board.

          Comparing real-life biographies to David Lynch films is like apples and orange, don’t you think?

          • Lars Söderberg

            Biographies must be predictable?

          • Ahnult

            When you’re specifically talking about how their stories end (as you are), then there’s really not a lot of leeway the director has, as in Lynch’s ‘Straight Story’, for example. Doesn’t make them any less amazing.

          • Lars Söderberg

            The ending isn’t everything in movies, but you can make the journey more or less enjoyable by the way you hold the audience’s hand.

          • Tim Heidegger

            Hold the audience’s hand? What does that even mean and when has Scorsese ever done it? I want some concrete examples because I have no idea what you could be talking about.

          • Lars Söderberg

            It means the movie thinks for you, tells you what conclusions you should make instead of being able to draw your own.

            I don’t own any of Scorsese’s movies so I can’t tell exactly when it happens, but it happens fairly often, so it shouldn’t require much of on effort if you choose to pursue the matter.

          • TapewormBike

            Not sure what do you mean. Say, Taxi Driver thinks for you? The narrative is so self absorbed and focused that to get something out of it you have to very much try to think for yourselve and reconstruct it. And I think he retains ability to tell such stories even now. For example The Departed might have been more straightforward (maybe, because it was not an original material completely tailor-made for him) but far from being shallow as you are probably suggesting. And the man knows his fucking craft when contsructing a scene or working with actors.

          • Lars Söderberg

            Hadn’t even thought of the word shallow before you brought it up, but that is probably a good description of the effects of this type of directing. To illustrate it even simpler; where another director might have done 1->2->3, Scorsese goes 1->1.5->2->2.5->3. The effect of explaining 1.5 and 2.5 too is that the subsequent steps gets very obvious.

          • Ahnult

            That was kind of my point.

    • Yezzir!

      I don’t understand the big deal about being able to figure out an ending. Everyone already knows the end of the movie, because it’s based on a true story. If predictability makes for a bad film, then I guess almost 100 years of Disney films suck too. Did we really think Cinderella wasn’t going to win in the end, or if Pinocchio would be a real boy? Those films were about the experience.

      Predictably only matters for a film that’s trying to be unpredictable, where predictability is a real factor, like a mystery noir, for example. I don’t think it should be a measuring stick for all films.

      • Lars Söderberg

        It would depend on which story we talk about. I did not know any of the stories of Scorsese’s movies beforehand, yet the use of clichés in the movie allowed me to narrow down the ending fairly quick. This was purely a directional choice, and imo error.

        A movie aimed toward another (younger) audience, such as Disney films, would obviously be judged by other criterion than e.g. Shutter Island, which is intended to be mysterious, yet aren’t.

        • Yezzir!

          Disney movies are more like family films. One target is smaller children, but Disney specifically crafted his films for everyone to enjoy. In any case, cliches are one thing. Sometimes they can be used intentionally or not. If a cliche is not used ironically, meaning a bad use, then it can make for a bad film. But I still don’t understand why figuring out the ending is the necessary criteria for determining whether this particular film is good or not. It sounds like you just thought it was too cliche.

          I’m not trying to be argumentative, I just genuinely don’t understand why figuring out the end of a film makes any difference.

          Consider this example, many adults see their favorite films more than once, regardless of the target audience. Take the original Exorcist for example. I enjoy the film every time I see it, and I know what is going to happen at all times, because I have already seen the ending. So, why do I enjoy it? Predictably obviously has nothing to do with that.

          • Lars Söderberg

            Arguments are fine. They are one of the best way to figure something out, as long as they stay positive.

            It is obviously possible to like a movie even though you know the outcome. The journey has to be something special then though. There has to be something that grips you and teases your imagination, but when you hold the audience’s hand as hard as Scorsese does, you take away the movie’s ability to stand on its own. Many people like this, given Scorsese’s high praise, but I don’t.

          • Yezzir!

            Fair enough. I haven’t seen the film yet, so I can’t make a value statement on it, but I think you have a pretty valid reason for not liking it.

            I think the teasing of the imagination is the real factor for me. That’s why some films are so re-watchable. It’s about the experience. Sometimes for me, I don’t even care about the ending. It could be a cherry on top. While other times the film sets it up to be a big deal (eg. murder mystery) so it better be good.

            But, generally, if a movie feels that the director is hand-holding, that can kill the suspension of disbelief.

    • Harry Palm

      I don’t hate the guy at all, but I don’t care much for most of his movies. I think he’s very overrated. He mostly just makes the same movie over and over again. How many fucking times can you make ‘Mobster Movie’? I do like when he does something different. ‘Hugo’ wasn’t the greatest movie ever, but I appreciated the fact that it wasn’t yet another version of ‘Goodfellas’. Then he went right back to gangsters after that, though.

    • Alex Lee

      Can’t figure out the ending in the first act? That actually sounds like a good thing according to the rule of “what happens next?”

    • Thanatos2k

      Did you see “Titanic”?

      • Lars Söderberg

        Read the discussion I’ve had with other people.

        • Thanatos2k

          That discussion is crap, and long, and pointless. So, did you watch Titanic?

          • Lars Söderberg

            Yes, but you better make a point that hasn’t already been made.

          • Thanatos2k

            You watched a movie you already knew the ending to before even turning it on.

            Fail.

          • Lars Söderberg

            Don’t know why I bothered. You made the exact same point I thought and have already answered. The story isn’t about the sinking ship Titanic, or didn’t you see the movie?

          • Thanatos2k

            You failed to answer it, because all it revealed is that you just whine selectively. It’s a bad thing to know the ending, unless it’s not.

          • Lars Söderberg

            Knowing the ending in Titanic would be knowing the eventual fate of Jack and Rose, which is different than knowing that the ship will sink. I’m sorry if you can’t wrap you head around this concept, but perhaps you should ask someone irl to explain it to you.

          • Thanatos2k

            Who the hell cares about Jack and Rose???

  • bluebottle

    Don Jon was terrible. Thank you Mike.

  • lIllllllllol

    Your comment is awaiting moderation. See your comment. This comment is awaiting moderation.

    What?

    • Thanatos2k

      Verify your account.

  • Muzzy Muzzberg

    wait, you guys actually think Coppola made only one good movie or were you not being serious? If you were, it would be interesting to hear more about your opinions on him, because a lot of people would disagree with you. I would say he was making mostly good movies in the period between The Godfather and Rumble Fish.

    • Harry Palm

      It’s called a joke. Lighten up.

      • Muzzy Muzzberg

        I came here to discuss movies, God damn it! You think it’s something to joke about?

        • Pa Kent Says Maybe

          Rumble Fish? Yeah, it’s a joke.

    • Allan Jensen

      And Twixt was an underrated masterpiece of awful.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      What is exaggeration?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Holy fuck, is that Snakepliskinist in your thumbnail?

  • Fartastic

    I used to think there’s no way Mike and Jay could be any more entertaining.
    Now I wish they were both of Italian descent.

  • Paulus

    Francis Ford Coppola only made one good movie? Man, he’s made at least three.

    • Cameron Vale

      Even by the most stringent standards, you’d still have to pick between Godfather Part II and Apocalypse Now.

      • TapewormBike

        The Conversation is incredible. I even liked “Bram Stokers Dracula meets Keanu Reeves”

        • Pa Kent Says Maybe

          Whoa!

          Take me away from all this death, she breathes as if she has a mouth full of ass. Hate that movie.

        • Cameron Vale

          I call it “Dracula starring Keanu Reeves and Gary Oldman,” to confuse people who’ve never heard of it.

    • Harry Palm

      Considering how many movies he’s made, that’s still not a very good ratio.

    • Pa Kent Says Maybe

      The Godfathers, I & II, really only count as one.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      More like Francis Ford CRAPpola, amirite?

  • Matthew Shannon

    SpaceCop

  • KonradZell

    Watching Rich Evans as Mr. Plinkett stuff his face made me want to vomit, but in a good way.

    • catnep

      Rich Evans used to be a male model you know. He sacificed his physique to make Red Letter Murdia a success.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Jay can cut a pepper. The things I learn on these HITB shows.

  • Fartastic

    Rich Evans intentionally fucked up the burger scene ten times.

    • Allan Jensen

      Christopher Nolan is an overrated hack.

      • Pa Kent Says Maybe

        Yes, Allan. Yes he is.

      • RPK

        I think you misspelled Abrams.

      • ident

        Apropos of…

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Edgy.

      • Cameron Vale

        But not every overrated hack is a Christopher Nolan, if you catch my drift.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I admire your ability to get an equal number of upvotes and downvotes.

        • Allan Jensen

          Just for quoting a Half In the Bag video (which no one got), haha.

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      Crazy Fat Plinkett

      • Fartastic

        “Call an ambulance in case of a heart attack.”-”I will not.”

  • Percy Gryce

    Did Mike sneak a piece of cheese? You’re permitted to eat cheese in Wisconsin–in fact, I believe it’s mandatory.

    • Cameron Vale

      “Cheesocracy” would be a good name for a documentary about Wisconsin.

      • Percy Gryce

        RLM, get on that. (Actually, now that I think about it, I would love it if RLM make some full-length documentaries–something along the lines of Best Worst Movie or Trekkies. They could include little Plinkett interludes or bonus extras on the DVD. I’m starting to see a thing here.)

        • Cameron Vale

          The poster could be a really close low-angle shot of Jay sitting down with his arms full of cheese, giving the camera a rakish smile with raised eyebrow as if to say “jealous?”, and something funny is happening behind him which somehow involves Mike holding a huge piece of cheese aloft (like maybe the setting is a cave interior where Mike is inspecting the cheese with an eye loupe, and over Jay’s opposite shoulder is a huge pile of cheese; or maybe it’s a sunny exterior setting where Mike is wearing a cowboy hat and aviators and also raising a lit cigar whilst laughing with his head tossed back, and over Jay’s opposite shoulder is a large sign in front of a row of palm trees that says “Welcome To Wisconsin”). And the title’s typeface should be the same as the one they used for ‘There Will Be Blood’, along with an appropriate yet eye-catching subtitle like “the rise and fall of the ruthless cheese barons of Wisconsin”, or “Wisconsin’s bloody secret war for global cheese supremacy”.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          I upvoted because far more of your comment is within parenthesis than without.

          • Percy Gryce

            You noticed that, huh? (I am loath to tell RLM what to do, but I did want to express the idea that just occurred to me that they could certainly make interesting full-length documentaries about movies or other pop-culture phenomena.)

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        That’s such a cheesy joke.

  • Heinzy

    All fanfiction authors must be thrilled by the reveal of Jay’s sexuality. Although I suspect that it won’t change much.

    • GraphicsAndBeer

      Basically, we all have a chance with Jillian now.

      • HNSZ

        I wouldn’t mind spending some time on Jillian’s Island.

        • ident

          Little know fact, Texas is not an island.

          • Cameron Vale

            What? Then how did Sandy Cheeks reach the ocean from there?

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Is that a fucking Spongebob reference?

          • Cameron Vale

            This comments zone for gay thrill-killers can be surprisingly judgmental.

      • B. Galbreath

        And the rest of us have a chance with Jay now. Everybody wins.

    • http://www.pewpewpew.de/ PewPewPew

      I jumped through the discussion of WOWS, what did I miss?

      • Heinzy

        Jay is confirmed for Mikesexual.

    • catnep

      Well, I’m not fooled. I expect a plot twist where it’s really Mike who’s sexual.

  • Percy Gryce

    I’ve got a fever, and the only cure is more slide whistle.

  • Paul Schumann

    Oh that was just wrong…
    but that last bit almost made up for all that butter.

  • Stephen Norman

    Perfect lead in to Weekend At Plinkett’s.

  • BarryTheMasterOfSandwich

    Actually, Walt Disney was not really cryonically frozen, as the myth goes. He was cremated. As far as the Nazi stuff…I really can’t seem to find a straight answer.

  • playdude92 .

    I can´t believe Mr. Plinkett didn´t have health insurance. Exactly the kind of person Obama would want to save. Fuck those southern kids!

    Seriously though: Do you guys actually get health insurance through the ACA? Satisfy my morbid curiousity.

    • playdude92 .

      Didn´t mean to get so harsh and political with my “kids” remark (even in this kind of forum). Obviously, for everyone getting health care, that´s great, even for an old pervert murderer.

      • ident

        No one “gets” healthcare through the ACA. It’s a mandate that you must buy health insurance or be financially penalized.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      What’s wrong with your apostropheeeeees?

  • Scott Lang

    Just got a screener copy of Lone Survivor, and I really hope at some point in the future they do a HitB on that Jingoistic Passion of the Christ.

    • Dan Hibiki

      yeah, fuck that movie.

  • Butthole

    Two days late.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I certainly wish my butthole never tells me I’m two days late.

  • Rijii

    Call Phil ! 414-555-7261

  • Big Mclargehuge

    *rocks back and forth in a fetal position*

    “There’s still gonna be another Plinkett review sometime. There’s still gonna be another Plinkett review sometime. There’s still…”

    • Geahk Burchill

      Don’t worry. Rich Evans’ Plinkett is not the Plinkett that reviews movies.

      But don’t worry, you shouldn’t be embarrassed for thinking it, even the Emperor made that mistake and he has the force!

      • Big Mclargehuge

        Oh I know they’re different Plinketts but the universe requires both to exist at the same time. Otherwise dire consequences will befall you, me, Mike, Jay, the world…and Kevin Bacon.

        • Wolvy

          so its like the Punisher is Volstagg or Deadpool is Green Lantern or the Human Torch is Captain America?

  • Percy Gryce

    And, hey, with Mr. Plinkett: fewer hijinks; more monkeyshines, horseplay, and antics.

    • Cameron Vale

      I don’t know about monkeyshines, but Tijuana is a good place to see some horseplay.

      • Big Mclargehuge

        Donkeyshines

  • babyjew

    Don Jon OVER Bad Grandpa?! OH MY GAWWWDD!!!!! Don Jon is a realistic, entertaining character study about not being scared to step outside of the perimeters that others and yourself put you in and finding out what really speaks to you. It’s nothing original but it’s done well with a main character you don’t see very often leading this type of movie. Bad Grandpa was confused between having a “story” and hidden camera pranks so much so that it ruined the comedy it was trying to deliver. Oh well…..

    • https://twitter.com/theericlarson Obscure Cactus

      Don Jon is so realistic! SPOILERS I too met a woman who had just lost her family. We hung out, smoked weed, 69′d & now we’re together. end of story

      • TapewormBike

        That’s what I call ” a weekend”

        • Joe Syxpac

          What? The killing her family part or everything that follows?

          • TapewormBike

            What else would I meant, dummie.

          • TapewormBike

            I downvoted myself for the foul language.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            You rascal.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I upvoted it because ‘what else would I meant‘.

            Haha.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Now this is podracing!

  • durhay

    Oh it’s such a Plinkett dayyyy

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      I’m glad I spent it with yoouuuu

      • Percy Gryce

        Oh, such a Plinkett day.

        • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

          To just watch these hack fraauuuds.
          To just watch these haaaaack fraauuuds.

        • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

          To just watch these hack fraauuuds.
          To just watch these haaaaack fraauuuds.

  • Meester Smeeth

    I’m so disappointed – did you guys not see The World’s End? I was looking forward to hearing what you thought of it, particularly after your describing Shaun Of The Dead and Hot Fuzz as perfect comedies (or something to that effect) in your Paul review.

    • Percy Gryce

      If they didn’t like it, they might be exercising their discretion in not commenting. After all, their work is about to appear in a movie featuring Simon Pegg.

      And if they did like it, they might be exercising their discretion in not commenting. Praising a movie they mildly enjoyed is not a recipe for comedy gold.

      • Meester Smeeth

        Fair enough. Hey, maybe that’s why they haven’t mentioned World War Z either, because that delightful Bradley Pitts is involved with it too. Maybe not.

        • Percy Gryce

          Or maybe the better rule is that Mike & Jay are not Siskel & Ebert. I don’t think their goal is to see and comment on every new movie. I think they see things that interest them (or that they feel compelled to see) and then come up with amusing ways to comment on them.

          I’ve actually reached the point where I like BOTW better than HITB because BOTW is not driven by Hollywoodland’s new-release calendar.

    • Paul Schumann

      Well until those hackfrauds™ get around to it… what did you think? I wanted to like it more but it just didn’t make me laugh all that much. Seemed much more serious than Shaun or Fuzz. I dunno… it was better than Paul anyway. (I was watching that on a plane, missed the last 20 minutes and still don’t care how it ended)

      • Percy Gryce

        You do need to see the ending. The tone is quite different from the rest of the movie. Mrs. Gryce and I were quite ambivalent about it.

        • Paul Schumann

          The ending to Paul? Ok… I trust your judgement.

          • Percy Gryce

            No, sorry, I was referring to World’s End. The ending of Paul is pretty much like the rest of it.

          • Paul Schumann

            I apologize for the confusion. I saw all of World’s End with a few friends. Sort of an oddball ending.

      • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

        upvote purely because you put a trade mark symbol on hackfrauds

      • Meester Smeeth

        I really liked it. I thought they did a great job combining elements from the first 2 without feeling like a retread or a stale joke or whatever. Loved the ending, it’s so ridiculous and brilliant. As for the seriousness- maybe it is more serious in some respects but never less fun, to me. Maybe I’m just a bit of a sad fanboy haha. I even enjoyed Paul.

        • Paul Schumann

          The ending to World’s End left me going wtf. I almost wish it had happened earlier in the film so the back half of the movie could be about that and fleshed out that story more.
          In response to your original post, maybe we’ll get a Quick Cuts review from Mike or Jay sometime soon…

          • Meester Smeeth

            That’d be cool, but it doesn’t matter anyway. It’s been and gone now. It was just suprising they didn’t mention it at all in their 2013 recap. Maybe they really haven’t seen it, or maybe, like Percy Gryce said, they haven’t brought it up for their own valid reasons.

  • Studio Executive

    I resent the implication that the remakers of Maniac “borrowed” anything from those Mr. Plinkett internet reviews. Nobody in Hollywood would ever plagiarize, especially not from some internet movie critic! No if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with Shia LeBeouf regarding getting his recent original film “Howard Cantour.com” into wide release…

  • Sébastien St-Pierre Robert

    Captain Phillips is a piece of statist propaganda disguised as a worthwhile movie in itself.

    • ident

      You wanna unpack that for me?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      In the words of Mike, “Whaaaaaat?”

  • bob665

    You know I wasn’t going to go see The Wolf of Wall Street and I’m still not but
    I feel bad about that now. I did really like the theme of excess that went
    through the whole episode from Mr. Plunkett to the first movie to several of the
    other movies you mentioned.

  • https://twitter.com/theericlarson Obscure Cactus

    glad you hacks you loved WOLF OF WALL STREET as much I did. My personal favorite for the year. Scorsese keeps getting better as legends like Ridley Scott are withering.

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    I was really waiting for a review of “The World’s End” too. Really wanted to know what you’d think of it.

    But woo! Congrats to another year of Half in the Bag!

  • Percy Gryce

    Why did Mr. Plinkett adulterate his last double bacon cheeseburger with lettuce and tomato? Plot hole.

    • TapewormBike

      Bone-like crunch of the lettuce and guts-like colour and texture of the tomato. Duh.

      • Percy Gryce

        So, aesthetic style over narrative substance?

        • Joe Syxpac

          Rich is willing to make those types of sacrifices for his art.

          • TapewormBike

            It’s in his blood and heart. Among other things.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Well, now it’s on the floor.

          • http://kingengrishkube.deviantart.com/ kube of Nazareth over 9000

            Action Painting..

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Rich Evans, No. 3

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Rich Evans, No. 3

      • Cameron Vale

        Instead of lettuce and tomato, why not try potato chips and sausage?

    • catnep

      Good question. Why add healthy toppings when health was not the aim? I sense much conflict in him.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        “Goooooooood.”

        • catnep

          Palpy??

  • cabbo

    One thing about ‘Captain Philips’:

    It is a great movie but at the very end, during the climax, the score rips off ‘Time’, the most memorable piece of music from ‘Inception’. It completely threw me out of the movie, even though the end scene is really emotionally engaging.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      How dare Hans Zimmer make something similar to his own music!!!1

      • cabbo

        The score was written by Henry Jackman.

  • TapewormBike

    What?! You guys have not seen “That Movie I Watched”? And when the fuck is the next “Rich Evans watches” video?!!!

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      I hope it’s the new Godzilla Movie.

    • catnep

      “That Movie I Watched” was directed by Renny Harlin. That’s probably all we need to know.

  • capnmorgan5150

    They still need to call Phil.

  • http://about.me/hexeno Hexeno

    Where is the guy who makes the gifs? I need my dose of Plinkett gifs.

    • Percy Gryce

      Faddlechud. I think the NSA took his computer. Or something.

      • TapewormBike

        Jesus, what if that guy actually has a life?

        • SomeoneElseTookDude

          lol good one

        • Percy Gryce

          Nope. Confirmed for lack of life.

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud
      • ThomasHFoolery

        Can you make a gif of Mike and Jay waving like a couple of rapists leaving the scene of a crime? (@ 1:18)

  • Christopher Kulik

    With all due respect to fans of Scorsese and Stone: for my money, the finest Wall Street movie will no doubt always be 2011′s MARGIN CALL.

    • Percy Gryce

      No one has mentioned that the Jordan Belfort story was already filmed as Boiler Room. The great Steve Sailer “predicted” that Scorsese and DiCaprio would do their own take on the story.

      http://isteve.blogspot.com/2013/12/uh-oh-martin-scorsese-took-my-advice.html

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I’ve been meaning to view that film for a while.

    • Paul Schumann

      Margin Call was a pretty great movie. Not sure how close it was to reality but it was enjoyable.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Saw Margin Call without expecting much. It outdid my expectations and was a very well made film.

  • Louis Gonzales

    Slide Whistle of Doom

    • Duckler

      I thought I was having a stroke when that happened.

  • KP

    I was looking forward to you guys talking about the new Hunger Games for no other reason than the fact that the computer’s voice sounded exactly like Rich Evans. Still a very entertaining series of reviews, though.

  • Guest

    I like how if you say anything critical of RLM all of their fanboys will hack into your account and get you banned from the message boards.

    • Duckler

      Would you prefer burning at the stake? After we see if you float or not, natch’.

    • mattofsmeg

      Sounds unlikely, they’d have to hack the disqus system which isn’t actually a part of this site. Do you have any evidence of this hacking?

      • Guest

        The hacking happened on the message board, not the disqus comment section. And, no, I don’t have any proof to provide you with. I also don’t have any proof that I took a shit today, but it happened.

        • mattofsmeg

          Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, banal ones do not.

          • hendrixisgod51784

            It’s “extraordinary” that hacking occurs? I guess credit card fraud is just a myth, huh? Talk about delusional.

          • mattofsmeg

            It’s “extraordinary” that your analogy has failed again in exactly the same way…. credit card fraud =/= hacking.

          • hendrixisgod51784

            Both hacking and credit card fraud are an everyday occurrence. Stop being an idiot.

          • mattofsmeg

            “Both hacking and credit card fraud are an everyday occurrence.”

            Thats great, but it’s not really what we’re discussing is it…

            You are asserting that you account has been hacking on RLM messages boards and you have no reason to think so.

          • mattofsmeg

            I can’t wait for your reply the suspense is killing me

          • Guest

            “I can’t wait for your reply the suspense is killing me”

            Why would I continue to discuss something with someone who’s stupid enough to claim that accounts being hacked is “extraordinary” and who also can’t type in a coherent sentence?

          • mattofsmeg

            You’re an idiot. You make an assumption that your own personal account was hacked based on nothing…

            Your argument is:
            Hacking happens all of the time so my account was hacked.

          • hendrixisgod51784

            Just admit that you’re an RLM fanboy who loves to give blow jobs to Mike and Jay then we can move on.

          • Guest

            “You’re an idiot.”

            LMAO! Says the guy who:

            1.) doesn’t know the difference between the comment section and the message board

            2.) thinks hacking and credit card fraud are myths

            3.) can’t type a coherent sentence

          • mattofsmeg

            Seems more likely to me that you just got banned because you’re a tool

    • lovetoeatallthefood

      I like how most of the criticism of RLM is pathetically-obvious hipster contrarianism, from people who don’t grasp the difference between *actual* critical thought & knee-jerk anti-populism.

      • Cameron Vale

        What the frigging hell are you talking about?

    • ident

      If you’re being a piece of shit here, you’re probably being a piece of shit in a lot of other places, too. Why narrow it down to someone at this site? And, above all, who do you think cares that a troll got banned?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Goodbye, anonymous nobody.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      You say you were hacked, but were you also frauded?

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    “You’ve become attached to these characters, and they’re really horrible people at heart, but still there’s a sympathy there.”

    Yes, Mike… Yes indeed.

    • catnep

      Mr. Faddlechud, that’s like poetry.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        What rhymes with what!

        • catnep

          Oooh a riddle from choco mash! I think the answer depends somewhat on regional dialect? Waat Wuht W0t etc.

  • SomeoneElseTookDude

    RIP Plinkett

    • Percy Gryce

      Plinkett is dead. Long live Plinkett.

  • Duckler

    Bacon and butter… still healthier than pizza rolls.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    If Jay found Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers to be pretentious faux-avant garde filmmaking then I wonder what would he think about 2013 “smartest/most original” movie Upstream Color…

    • Gene Parmesan

      Two things Missy:
      1) You spelled fo wrong
      2) If it’s such a “smartest” movie, then why does it make me think of pissing in a river?

      You have 4 hours…

      • dollar store cashier wife

        I suppose commas around the words smartest and most original was too subtle to pick up on my grand message that I think UC sucks donkey balls.

        • TapewormBike

          I liked it fine, but then I am “smartest” man and suck “donkey” balls.

        • ident

          Those are quotation marks.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Quotation marks, periods, colons.

            Same difference.

    • ident

      He said that of Korine’s other work, but said he enjoyed Spring Breakers. And I liked Upstream Color.

  • AntifreezeTeetotaler

    The worst movie I saw in 2013 was “A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III,” AKA Charlie Sheen’s vanity project from another fallen Coppola, Roman. I say ‘fallen’ because his first movie, “CQ” is actually quite good. “…Swan…” is like a really bad Spike Jonze movie, and those don’t actually exist.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Here’s a good film I saw recently that partially reminded me of Plinkett, this documentary called “Shut Up Little Man!”. I think other RLM fans will dig it too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4z0Syy3zyU

    • Percy Gryce

      (1) I guess this shows that Plinkett is not so very far from reality.

      (2) It also reminds me that RLM should do documentaries. They could be the cheesehead Errol Morriseses.

  • hendrixisgod51784

    Anyone know if RLM will be at any movie/comic cons in the near future?

    • Percy Gryce

      I’m on record as saying that I would watch RLM if all they did was stand-up and man-in-the-street videos from cons.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Attack of the Slide Whistle.
    http://i.minus.com/ibndKX7f0QzfDG.gif

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I love watching these in my internet brower.

  • Johann Schmidt

    Did they ever see “All is Lost”, small film so I wouldn’t be surprised if the answer was no. But it was interesting in it’s almost total lack of dialogue and the one funny scene where Tom Hanks leaves him to die, the freighter is from the same line as the one Tom Hanks captains in his movie :P

  • Mats4

    RLM is a shadow of its former self. This episode felt rushed and not thought out, probably because it was rushed and not thought out. Its all reuse and repeat of what they have done for the last two years. It was funny in the beginning, but now its not. Not sure if Im the one who has changed, or if Red Letter Media is. I still enjoy their oldest episodes and love the Plinkett Star Wars reviews that I have seen probably twenty times each, so I dont think its just me. RLM used to be a intelligent South Park esque show, now its all about cheap jokes. Its like Michael Bay is the director.
    RLM, George Lucas and Charles Foster Kane have more in common than they might think. Turning into the very thing they despised.

    • ThomasHFoolery

      I can only partially agree with you. They’re a little too self-conscious of what the fans want at times and I wish they would go back to just doing what they think is funny bc that’s when they’re at their best. Having said that though RLM is still really good and I don’t think its nearly as bad as you’re making it out to be.

      • Alex Lee

        After rewatching this episode, I think the Plinkett reference is them marking the effect they had on other filmmakers.

    • mattofsmeg

      I thought it was the same great quality as always, although the film didn’t interest me, I prefer it when they review bad movies.

      • Wolvy

        psst a review of Midnight Madness please tyvm

        • Duckler

          Hell yeah! Doesn’t that take place in Milwaukee as well?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      If your goal was to be an idiot and rack up downvotes, then:

      MISSION FUCKING ACCOMPLISHED!

      http://i.minus.com/iDzRzGitHNRqG.gif

  • ThomasHFoolery

    RLM complaining about someone dragging out a scene too long

    • ident

      Complaining or praising? You decide. But the answer is praising.

  • Cameron Vale

    lol

  • Lovely Henrietta

    So after watching this, I decided to watch Saving Mr. Banks and Maniac, and it’s been an interesting evening. They’re both about dealing with chilhood trauma, although one of them has at least 100% more psycho killers in it. And the other, catchier songs.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Sweet, I enjoy Talking Heads. I have a feeling that Rich was listening to Burning Down the House at his grandmother’s, once.

  • Patrick G.

    Right out of the gate with the piss poor edits containing continuity errors.

    My New Year’s resolution is to give you guys some of my money.

    You assholes rule.

    • TheHaggisHunter

      i was just thinking the same thing, might get some beer glasses

  • http://kingengrishkube.deviantart.com/ kube of Nazareth over 9000

    “What, what, whatwhat, what, whatwhat, whatwhat, whatwhat..” (Frédéric Chopin -Sonata No. 2 in B-flat minor, Opus 35, 3rd movement [The Funeral March])

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      “What what what WHAAAT?!
      What what what WHAAAT?!”
      - Beethoven’s 5th symphony

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      LOL! ‘Movement’! LOL!

      • http://kingengrishkube.deviantart.com/ kube of Nazareth over 9000

        :)

  • Nicholas Goodman

    Rich Evans eating those hamburgers was more disgusting than Cannibal Holocaust.

  • Duckler

    So was Plinkett’s death a result of the Curse of The Wolf of Wall St.?

  • Geech

    Weekend at Plinkett’s?

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Jay calls 911 on his cell.
    The phone next to Mike rings.

  • hendrixisgod51784

    Anyone know the best way to reach RLM? Tried their contact email and twitter but I got nothing.

    • SUPERSOUP

      Incant Richard Evans’ name three times in a darkened gas station bathroom and set your grandmother’s house on fire.

      Rich will come to your resting place when you fall asleep on the night of the third day afterward and ask you what the fuck you want.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Did this. You lied, it’s after the SECOND night.

        However, I had a hunch that Rich would be premature…

    • Percy Gryce

      I send them stuff at their P.O. Box and it later shows up on-screen, so I know they get their mail.

      • Guest

        Thanks for the info.

      • Heinzy

        So Colin from Canada was yours?

        • Percy Gryce

          *Canadia

          FIFY.

    • ThomasHFoolery

      Let me Snoogle that for you

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud
    • Joe Syxpac

      I heard McDonald’s sales went up 8% since you put this up.

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    I want to be a famous & genuine director whose last name is “Scores Easy”

  • Narrator

    Jay, I love ya, but you broke my heart with that review of The Bling Ring. I may be the only person who likes that movie as much as I do (I saw it twice in theaters, and I bought it first-day on Blu-Ray), but it still hurts when you say those things. It looked beautiful, if nothing else, possibly better than Spring Breakers did. It was the last movie Harris Savides (the guy who shot Zodiac, The Game, American Gangster, and the video for Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer”, among many other things) worked on, and it’s a goddamn stunner.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      If Bling Ring focused solely on “I want to be like these celebrities” rather than “I want to rob these celebrities” I would’ve been more interested in the movie.

      There’s a scene where the ring leader is in Megan Fox’s bedroom, spraying herself with Megan Fox’s own perfume in slow motion, and it really showcases the desire to be so involved in a celebrity’s life.

      However, there’s other scenes where they re-sell this shit they stole, so it negates that celebrity-obsessed effect. Coppola plays these people off as rich kids, but really they were lower middle class IRL.

      So the movie is interesting, but not because Coppola did a great job with the subject matter. It’s more interesting to tear apart WTF this director was thinking, and why she felt she could pull this off the way she did when she really couldn’t.

      • babyjew

        I don’t think those kids wanted to be those celebrities, they wanted to exist in that realm and have what they have. The whole point of that movie is to show a hollow generation just following whatever is the flashiest thing in their eye. That’s why when they’re in the club and see the celebrities inside they just brush it off. The kids are just zombies, that even if they can stay in that world for longer being a focus of a trial, they will. The mono tone flat style of the movie is to show how mindless their generational age group really are. It’s one of those movies where you have to appreciate what’s being said there and for the fact that it’s not pandering.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          I think you miss my point in that we’re both talking about the same movie, and that’s my problem with it. There are instances where they want to be these celebs AND have what they have, and instances where their actions contradict what the director was striving to prove.

          Yes, there are times when they see celebs and brush it off, but I could turn around and say “Well, the one girl puts on Miranda Kerr’s lipstick and applies Megan Fox’s perfume.” They steal a random celeb’s wine bottle. They dawdle in celeb’s houses. One of the kids has celebs plastered on her wall like the one mom’s Jolie inspiration board. One girl admits she wants to go to the same Fashion School as a celeb went to.

          Am I saying you’re wrong? No, however, the mixed messages Coppola is sending muddles both viewpoints we thought the movie was trying to send. We both could be right, and that’s what I hate about the movie.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      What day of the week is first-day?

  • Jay Stein

    Happy New year Guys!!
    Thanks for the King Missile “Kramer” video. It’s hard to find photos of him and I couldn’t remember what he looks like.. Great episode!. I also liked the Disney commercial synchronicity.

  • Ianuarius

    Hahaha, I love that intro! :D

    I laughed so hard. And I usually don’t.

  • mattofsmeg

    references?

    • Sully

      Common sense. Take a look at his body of work and his personal life. He also made a ton of anti-Nazi propaganda films.

      • mattofsmeg

        “Common sense”
        Obviously this is false or we wouldn’t be discussing it.

        “Take a look at his body of work and his personal life”
        Like what? can you give one specific example?

        “He also made a ton of anti-Nazi propaganda films”
        Him personally or the disney company?

        You made the claim that him being a nazi was “debunked some time ago”, who did that, when and how did they do it? got any links?

        • Guest

          I love it when RLM fanboys pretend like they’re educated by using big words and phrases like “logical fallacy” and “ad hominem”. Quick question, though, how long did it take you to find the definitions of those phrases on google?

          • mattofsmeg

            Vapid insult which adds nothing to the discussion. Are you capable of addressing the actual argument?

            I doubt it.

          • Guest

            Oooohhh, “vapid”. Another big word. On the pace you’re on, I’m sure you’ll be receiving your GED in no time.

          • mattofsmeg

            No you’re not capable of addressing the actual argument…

  • TJ

    Any chance of a spinoff show with Mike and Jay using those accents? I know I’d watch. I bet it would be good for two years, and then everyone would complain in the comments about how the originals episodes were better.

  • Thanatos2k

    Did the guy in Maniac use the fast kill, low irritant Raid? It’s in the blue bottle.

    • Mads Bolding Fenger Poulsen

      It works the best! You need about six cans though…

      • hendrixisgod51784

        There’s always mustard gas as well. It’s been around since the fucking first world war.

        • ident

          Nothing suspicious about going to Wal-Mart and asking where they keep the mustard gas.

          • hendrixisgod51784

            LMAO!

          • Duckler

            Honestly, we wouldn’t even bat an eye before telling you we don’t know (care)

  • Jumus

    So Lost In Translation was made good by accident?

    • TapewormBike

      Yeah, the freak of nature that we call Bill Murray.

      • Liz Frazier

        I like to think of it as Tears of a Clown Syndrome.

  • Jesus

    A million times this.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Hey Jesus. Not sure what’s with all the downvotes, but I’ve a feeling that people thought you were replying to Mats4 instead of LelouchtheFilial.

      Amen.

  • catnep

    My vote for the scariest comment so far.

  • catnep

    Happy New Year Hacks & Frauds. Thanks again for all the stuff you do, whatever it is.

    http://www.sogoodblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/schlitz.jpg

    • Duckler

      “Good living” is putting on a collared shirt and a bathrobe, and eating a breakfast sandwich before passing out around noon – all the while still being single at 50? Well schlitz, sign me up!

      • Heinzy

        It’s the Milwaukee way.

  • Mats4

    You cant make 12 plinkett reviews on top of what they allready make. Plinkett reviews is so much more demanding that it would probably be closer to three or four each year, and thats if it were their only focus. Not enough production to keep a steady flow like they do now, and fanboys dont care about substance anyway as long as they can see their favorite characters. Plinkett reviews and their earlisest HITB episodes was reviews first, but with comedic parts in between so it dont get to dull for the popcorneating audience. BOTW and HITB now is a classic tale of style over substance. Cheap humor and barely nothing new. I for sure havent learned much over the last 20 episodes. Contrast that with the Star Wars reviews witch I have seen probably twenty times each, and I can still learn new things of the movie medium if I watch it today. Contrast that with new episodes HITB or BOTW and you dont need to watch them more than once it because its so far between the points they make that its impossible not to catch them on the first playback, let alone a secound. Plinkett reviews is like Citizen Kane or other great movies you can watch over and over again and still pick up something new every time. Not because the movie has changed, because you have. Todays HITB and BOTW is closer to the shit Hollywood makes today, and what I thought Mike hated more than lots of other things, and still the Hollywood route is were they are heading. Hollywood movies are shit now, and in twenty years it will still be nothing but a pile of feasies.

    • Mats4

      Jesus. I cant belive i compared Plinkett Star Wars reviews with Citizen Kane. I hope you forgive me for mention your name in this post Jesus.

    • LelouchtheFilial

      The fact that you don’t seem to understand hyperbole is maybe a sign that RLM was never your thing to begin with.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      As I’ve said before, whenever I see a wall of text thing long [especially without an concept of paragraphs, too], I automatically think the person who wrote it is full of shit.

      • Mats4

        Who invited the troll? Grow a pair my friend, and try to make a constructive argument. I double dare you to try, and I will tear you to peices.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Also, speaking of shit, take a look at your spelling and grammar. It’s a pile of feasies. ;)

  • Percy Gryce

    That’s like saying that Star Wars was a dry run for Return of the Jedi.

    • Mark Bisone

      Chewbacca was a dry run for Jar Jar Binks.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        My asshole had dry runs once.

        Yes, it hurt.

  • Percy Gryce

    “I gotta get up off the bathroom.”

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Bathwomb.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        Bathwombspace.

        • Fred Frink

          Needs some oxygen after i’ve been there. Forget about it

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          BathWombspace®

          The only certified area where you should oxygenate.

  • Sully

    Exactly. Thank you. He could also look into his early years when he had his mother sign off on his military application so that he could join his brothers in fighting the Germans in WWi (though because of his age, all he could do was drive ambulances).
    I also love that he took the time to google that glorious list of bullshit, but couldn’t take a second to look up something constructive… something that might’ve provided him with a little education on the subject matter?

    • Cameron Vale

      In my opinion, it’s far from crazy to believe that Walt Disney was a Nazi sympathizer at some point. Remember, they didn’t seem that bad initially; their rise coincided roughly with the Great Depression, anti-Semitism was huge back then, and the crazier tenets and tendencies of the Nazis were highly subdued at first. And even in the first year of WWII, it’s hard to argue that Americans took any kind of issue with Nazis at all; Hitler himself saw them as practically an ally. Also, Disney was testifying on union heads to HUAC as late as 1947, so he did appear to swing that way politically. (I’ve heard it suggested that his testimony was disingenuous; which is possible I suppose, but in essence all that would mean is that he testified falsely to the US government about threats to national security as a means of eliminating people he found inconvenient, which would seem to make him a psychopath who committed treason, as opposed to a right-wing paranoid nutjob.) Also, I don’t know what WWI has to do with anything; Nazis = Germans, maybe?

      • Sully

        My WWI comment was in regards to those that think he may have been a Nazi sympathizer solely because he was of German descent. The fact that he was willing to go to war with Germany before he was even old enough blows holes in that theory.
        Walt was openly pro-American, speaking against communism, fascism, and Unions. I’m not saying he wasn’t intrigued during the early years of Nazism; as you stated, many people back then were, but I see no evidence that he supported their fascist turn.
        Was he an anti-Semite? Possibly. That was extremely common in those days, though that also fails at connecting Disney/Nazi dots. The post holocaust changed many minds on Judaic affairs, but even today, it’s a fairly common thing (though anti-Abrahamism as a whole seems to be taking the reigns as of late).

        • Cameron Vale

          Nazi sympathizers weren’t fans of the actual country of Germany, they mostly just agreed with the policies. In other words, they were generally hyper-patriots who feared communism and Jews.

          • Sully

            So they were Republicans basically.
            *I kid… I kid*

      • ident

        Cameron is right. In the early 30′s, from the outside, Hitler looked like a strong leader whipping an economically devastated nation back into shape. The true nature of the Nazi regime did not become apparent until the late 30′s, as Jews were fleeing the country and Germany began re-militarizing its own territory and bullying its neighbors.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Does it matter?

    • TapewormBike

      It would make the masturbation fantasies more plausible…

  • Robby

    Another great episode. Thanks for all the laughs in 2013, gays/guys. A tiny bit sad 12 Years a Slave, American Hustle and Catching Fire weren’t reviewed or mentioned, but life is full of disappointment.

  • Mark Bisone

    Scorsese and Eastwood are just about the only two dudes north of 65 that aren’t shooting a gun full of blanks these days. Ridley Scott’s blown it. De Palma’s blown it. Brooks, Reiner, Marshall, Stone, Polanski… there’s a shit-ton of wrinkly, dried-up balls hanging in the Chinese restaurant’s window these days.

    I suppose Woody Allen would be an exception; his spray-and-pray schedule produces just as unpredictable a level of quality as always. Who the hell makes a great flick like Vicky Cristina Barcelona one year, and then farts out utter trash like You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger the next? I’m beginning to sense an art house conspiracy with this motherfucker, like the way some historians suspect Shakespeare was more of a genre pseudonym than an actual person.

    • Mats4

      What about Robert Redford, that man must be closer to two hundred years old now. Been on a hot streak with his last four or five films with the latest one very intregueing.

      • Mark Bisone

        We’re talking directors here. Redford hasn’t directed a decent flick since “Quiz Show”, and has only directed a total of four films over the past 15 years.

    • ident

      Eastwood, pffft. That guy couldn’t find a lab rat if it was in his god damn pocket.

      • Mark Bisone

        Clint Eastwood would eat you and and your lab rat for breakfast, then shit out a lump of Oscar gold for lunch.

        • ident

          Then why didn’t he when he had the chance?

          • Mark Bisone

            Maybe your rat was too vague about his motivation?

          • ident

            Well, for the record, it was John Agar’s lab rat so I, personally, can’t speak to it’s motivation.

          • Mark Bisone

            Well, any lab rat that’s a friend of Agar’s is a friend of mine, pilgrim.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        What are on about? The lab rat is sitting in the chair beside him!

    • babyjew

      Polanski?! I think he’s still pretty great these days…. And he’s not shooting blanks! He gets a 12 year old pregnant every Thursday.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Stay golden, babyjew.

      • Mark Bisone

        You really wanna compare recent crappola like “Carnage” and “The Ghost Writer” to masterpieces like “Chinatown”, “Death and the Maiden” and “Rosemary’s Baby”?

        Roman “Hands” Polanski still earns brownie points and suckjobs from the critics, but only because he bravely ran away from a child rape charge. They dig that freaky deaky shit in LaLa Land and beyond. But his flicks these days have as much voltage as my electric toothbrush. I think Polanski died shortly after filming “The Pianist” and the guy we see doing interviews is actually Dustin Hoffman pulling an Andy Kaufman prank.

        • Percy Gryce

          I love it. Your writing style = one part noir + one part dada + a heaping spoonful of ’70s SNL.

    • Percy Gryce

      Who’s down-voting this–the Garry Marshall fanclub?

    • Cameron Vale

      And maybe “Hollywood Ending” was a confession!

  • Alex Lee

    Well, vaginas are hollow, so…

    • TapewormBike

      And pretentious.

      • Mark Bisone

        And occasionally shallow. Especially those oriental ones!

  • Mark Bisone

    Spring Breakers is a wonderful film, as long as you get the joke that it’s all about sucking cock. Nearly every shot in the film has at least one drunken co-ed fellating a bong, bottle, hose, ice cream pop, gun barrel, etc. It’s like Only Fraud Forgives, except with lots of T&A and James Franco as Gary Oldman from True Romance.

    • Percy Gryce

      You nailed it.

      • Mark Bisone
        • TapewormBike

          Gee, I really really hope that naughty Faddlechud won’t switch their heads (or butts) with Jay and Mikes, That would be so creepy. So so…why is it hot all of a sudden?

          • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

            You’re right, Tape… it’s WAY hotter this way:

          • Duckler

            Half-erect in the Bag?

          • Sully

          • Wolvy

            Bwahahahaaaaaaaa

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            It’s odd when this version makes my groin area stir up more than the last one.

            I used groin specifically so someone can reply with a quote.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            “It’s so dense, every”…
            No, shit. Wrong quote.

          • Cameron Vale

            “It’s all about sucking cock” -Mark Bisone

          • LelouchtheFilial

            An oldie but a goodie. That comment is almost a few days old and it has proven to be a mainstay of our culture.

          • Percy Gryce

            “It’s like screwing up mashed potatoes. You boil the water, and you pour the packet”?

          • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

            I’m such an RLM fan that… dude… after reading that, I heard Plinkett’s voice in my head saying “Number one”

          • Percy Gryce

            My go-to’s were always “Uh, what’s happening in this movie?” and “They can never be undone.” But “mashed potatoes” has really moved up my list. I now use that one a lot. And let’s just say that Mrs. Gryce doesn’t like it one bit.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Guy, no, I’m clearly going for the “It’s groin-a be great!” quote.

          • Percy Gryce

            I can’t possibly watch more RLM. There aren’t enough hours in the day. I am so thoroughly saturated in Mike & Jay and Rich Evans and . . .

            Oh, hey, how you doin’?

  • Alex Lee

    Just looking at that burger gave me constipation.

    • Percy Gryce

      No, the butter makes it slide right through you. Hence Mr. Plinkett’s end. So to speak.

  • Mats4

    Sarcastic or not. Point still stand.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Point still stand man door hand hook car door…

  • Duckler

    But, but.. Colostomy bag! Continuity error..! Get your shit together, guyz

    • maggit

      Well, that’s probably what happened. He fell asleep and his bag exploded from the crazy amounts of food he ingested.

    • Thanatos2k

      The bag CLEARLY exploded. When’s the last time you think he emptied it?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      They obviously can’t get their shit together. It’s allova da flawr!

      • Duckler

        .. And there’s the punchline.

  • maggit

    Appalling.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Odd how closely appalling and appealing are spelled.

  • boodomi

    You frauds didn’t watch American Hustle?! I wanted to know what you thought about it so I don’t need to watch it myself and I can talk about it on the internet with other 13-year-old film critics.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    nah he’s bipolar transgender.he said so himself on the audio commentary for gorrila interrupted.

    • Cameron Vale

      So he finally dropped that ridiculous “I’m just bipolar-transgender-CURIOUS” act?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Bipolar?

      Only if both those poles are dicks disco sticks.

  • Scottland559

    Great Job!

  • mattofsmeg

    Thanks for your input, I’d love you to quote from the parts of the text which suffer from “blind stupidity” and why.

    Otherwise you’re just making a baseless assertion which is equivalent to saying “well you’re a stupid pants” which is a lame response.

  • TapewormBike

    Ashton Kutcher’s performance in the movie “Jobs” was poor. One could say he did a bad job. Plural of which is “jobs”. I mean, the jokes basically write themselves.

    • Duckler

      Oh, I thought it was JOBs, a prequel to Aronofsky’s NOAH – where God makes clones of Job, and spends the movie torturing countless Ashton Kutchers mercilessly.

      • TapewormBike

        I was actually hoping it’s a movie made to depress unemployed people some more.

        • ident

          Cause fuck those lazy assholes.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I don’t know what you’re talking about, my asshole is very active!

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard.

          • TapewormBike

            Woohoo, Dave Chapelle/Charlie Murphy reference. Fuck. you really are me and I am a sockpuppet..

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I wasn’t referencing anything, actually… but I DO like that show and those episodes.

    • Cameron Vale

      They should call that movie “Hatchet Jobs” because that’s what is, if you take out the S.

  • Lovely Henrietta

    THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK!

  • sepiajack

    I haven’t seen any of the movies they discussed so no opinion one way or the other.

    That said I’m the one weirdo who thinks Scorese is not all that great. I love Taxi Driver and Last Temptation of Christ. But I’ve never understood what the big deal about Goodfellas is, and I find most of his stuff really garish and pretentious. Gangs of New York was terrible, and I thought the Departed was pretty dumb also.

    But I recognize this is not the common opinion among movie aficionados.

    • Mark Bisone

      I’ll co-sign on The Departed, Jack. I can hardly believe they gave Scores Easy an Oscar for that remake of a reboot of a re-imagining of a mediocre foreign film. It was one of those Hollywood things, though; they wanted to give him an Oscar for “something”.

      Same goes double for Allen’s turd grenade, “Midnight in Paris.” That dialogue was so tin-eared and awful that I felt my black heart take a swan dive into my fucking colon, so of course those Oscar fucks gave it a “Best Writing” award.

    • ident

      This post improved my opinion on Scorsese. I loved The Departed and Goodfellas and was meh on Taxi Driver and Last Temptation. You are just me from the Mirror Universe.

      • sepiajack

        Goatee Ident!

        • TapewormBike

          Wait wait, YOU are supposed to be the evil one?

          • sepiajack

            Sure, goatees are cool, I can be evil.

          • TapewormBike

            Oh I agree, but I have witnessed ident filling that role pretty well:).

          • sepiajack

            Zats vot I vanted you to think!!! Muhahahaha

    • hendrixisgod51784

      Scorsese is hit or miss for me. I liked some of his movies, but others just don’t work for me. I thought Bringing Out The Dead was pretty pointless and Gangs Of New York was terrible, imo.

    • Fred Frink

      The aviator. Only saw it recently . It’s good.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I like this not because I agree, but because you’re speaking your dissenting opinion and doing so in a civil fashion, which I respect, and are even admitting that it’s an opinion that not many hold.

      Since you shared yours, I might as well say that I’m not really a fan of Terrence Malick so far. I’ve seen Days of Heaven and Badlands, so I haven’t had a good sampling, but I found both of those films to have a rather boring narrative. Perhaps because they’re both narrated by a young girl who might not quite understand everything that’s going on or the consequences of the actions being taken [the two films are rather similar]. It feels as if the director made it difficult to enjoy on purpose. Either way, I didn’t enjoy them.

      That being said, I still have an interest in seeing The Thin Red Letter Media Line and am cautiously optimistic that I’ll enjoy both it and The Tree Stand Safety of Life.

      • sepiajack

        Of Malick’s body of work, Thin Red Line is in my opinion his masterpiece. I was not a fan of the Tree of Life, it’s where his style crossed the line into pretension for me, it’s basically an entire movie (and not a short one) of pillowshots. Many people get a lot out of that movie, but I wasn’t one of them. I actually quite liked Days of Heaven though.

        Badlands I was indifferent about, though its easy to see how many newer movies like True Romance were largely influenced by it.

        But I stand by Thin Red Line as a great film. It is very abstract and no traditional narrative, but its very effective in my opinion, and Malick found the right balance of style and substance in that one.

        I barely remember The New World so I can’t remember how I felt about it overall.

  • sepiajack

    Great episode of HitB though, so glad you guys finally got to LOVE a movie again!

  • SUPERSOUP

    PODRACING

    • LelouchtheFilial

      Kawr-oo-skant?

      • Showbiz Pizza Bear

        Cut. Let’s try it again.

  • ident

    Wow, that sounds even worse than what they described.

  • TJ

    I can’t stop watching the intro you guys had Scorsese direct.

    • Strelnikov

      Doze guise…..

    • Fred Frink

      I had to get off the fucken bathroom to watch it again. Forget about it!

  • Joseph Buss

    Isn’t this the sixth time you’ve killed off “Fake Plinkett”?

    • Duckler

      Meet the new Plinkett, same as the old Plinkett.

      • Joseph Buss

        I want to see Real Plinkett (Mike) do another review. while Fake Plinkett (Rich Evans) has his fun moments, we really need more reviews.

        • Strelnikov

          They’re doing a Superman spoof, allegedly.

          • http://www.livepixel.tv/ livepixeltv

            It better include the hilarity that is Jon Peters!

          • TapewormBike

            The trailer was a Superman spoof, Spacecop is a serious business.

          • Strelnikov

            …..for a guy from the future who likes eating hotdogs made out of Chinese people and driving STRAIGHT UP.

          • TapewormBike

            Sounds serious to me.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Spooferman?

  • Jon

    Captain Phillips was produced by Michael De Luca, the guy who wrote that Voyager episode Threshold. That one where they turned into lizards or whatever. That’s not even a joke, that’s a real thing, look it up. How much is De Luca paying you guys to ignore his past awfulness you sell out hack frauds?

    • ident

      That was an awful episode.

      • Alex Lee

        If Voyager episodes were given a numbered grade, Threshold would wreck the mean of the entire series, and thus, skewering any statistical evaluation of the series.

    • Cameron Vale

      Actually, it’s the one where they discover super dilithium and use it to make a shuttle that travels at infinite speed, but the test pilot realizes that he’s slowly transforming into a lizard, so he kidnaps Captain Janeway and flees in the infinite speed shuttle, and they’re later found on a nearby planet as two actual lizards with multiple offspring, and then they’re turned back into people.

      • Duckler

        Oh dear, I remember this now… Egad.

      • Percy Gryce

        Warp 10.

    • cobrazombie

      Maybe he’s a better producer than writer.

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    Rich Evans eating is the grossest thing I’ve ever seen. And I watch A LOT of animal porn.

  • http://www.livepixel.tv/ livepixeltv

    Still no Cloud Atlas?

    • Duckler

      Thank the deity..

    • Intheknow

      MikeanJay’a’coming, hide below, cloudatlas’be’needin,don’t let go, goodreview’a’sleepin, dont slit dat throat.

  • Alex Lee

    I was kinda rooting for Jobs because it might have shown that Kutcher has a wider ranger than people give him credit for. As it turns out, he actually doesn’t. In this sense, he’s far worse than DiCaprio ever was because of his inability to do more than “handsome frat guy.”

    • Strelnikov

      In this case, he plays “handsome computer asshole.”

    • Fred Frink

      See Pirates of Silicon Valley.
      See Triumph of the Nerds (3 part doco from 1995)

      That is all.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      “it might have shown that Kutcher has a wider ranger than people give him credit for”

      His Ranger is a normal sized Ranger.

      • TapewormBike

        What would you know about rangers Taco? Anyway, how wide is your mountie?

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Come to Canadia and find out. ;)

    • Intheknow

      Maybe he was being satirical, appealing to the subtle reality that Jobs was also a no talent asshole douchebag hack that got famous on the backs of other people’s hard work and the constant stupidity of “creative” teenage consumers?

      • ident

        Wow. My condolences on Steve Jobs raping your whole family and filling you with such hate.

  • ident

    Always thought being a psycho killer was a binary thing. Either you are or you aren’t. I can’t appreciate the gradient.

    • Cameron Vale

      Maybe he was planning a killing spree, but kept putting it off.

  • ident

    So that’s how it works. Where is Scorsese at right now? I have a film for him.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I highly doubt he’s going to direct ‘Poop in the Pants: The Movie 3D’.

  • hendrixisgod51784

    I would see Captain Phillips but I can’t stand Greengrass and his overuse of shaky cam.

    • ident

      If you sit in a vibrating chair it mostly evens out.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        I sat on SOMETHING that was vibrating.

        • Strelnikov

          A farting cat?!?!?

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I was farting just as I read this comment.

            GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

          • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

            RLM fans have synchronized their manperiods

          • Percy Gryce

            Please pass the Pamprin.

  • ident

    No, he’s Jay Bauman in real life. Jay Gay is the Walgreen’s version of Ben Gay.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Tru dat.

  • Taft you FUCK

    In the immortal words of Mr Plinkett: keep your politics in your pocket.

  • Fred Frink

    The fun only lasts so long man.
    I had so many laughs over the years with simpsons. I havent seen an episode in years. To say the writing is terrible now or whatever isn’t entirely correct, you just get tired of coke after awhile.

    • Cameron Vale

      Simpsons being funny does not automatically make it the same as before.

  • spinflip

    What about Stoker? Catching Fire? Are you trying to avoid good films?

    • dollar store cashier wife

      >catching fire
      >good film
      pick one.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Edgy.

  • Willie Simpson

    No thoughts on 12 Years As A Slave? Especially compared to Django Unchained? Might make an interesting discussion.

    • TapewormBike

      Especially if they saw it.

    • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

      Maybe they’ll include Martin Bashir shitting into Sarah Palin’s mouth as a deleted scene in the Criterion Edition.

    • Intheknow

      Was it any good? I wasn’t interested in another Obama documentary….

      It’s about Obama, right?

  • Dr. Blake Downs

    I believe you guys meant to call I, Frankenstein The Happening 2: The Legend of Frankenstein’s Monster Forever.

    [URL=http://www.makeagif.com/GMvZ0P][IMG]http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/1-04-2014/GMvZ0P.gif[/IMG][/URL]

  • Luke Altomare

    I enjoyed “TWoWS,” but I felt it was too long. I was exhausted by the 3 hour mark. Certain scenes should have been trimmed, like the lunchtime conversation Belfort and Hanna, and the parking lot argument between Donnie and Brad. Some scenes could have been cut all together, like the conversation about hiring midgets.

  • Joe Syxpac

    What is wrong with your taaaste?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      faaace*

      Oh, wait, sorry. Ignore this.

  • Jean-François Martel

    You’re not supposed to feel sympathy for Jordan Belfort though The movie makes it pretty clear at the end. Even if you’ve enjoyed the ride, in the end you’re supposed to think he’s despicable

    • ident

      If that’s true, then the movie appeared to fail since, though they complained he didn’t have the pathos of Henry Hill, he was still somewhat sympathetic and certainly not despicable. I would further say that it was not Scorsese’s intent to make Belfort despicable. That would drain the entire film of any humor and distance the audience.

  • Mendoza

    In Saving Mr. Bank I love that emma thompson didn’t bother with an australian accent. i
    mean, acting is hard work! just cash your cheque and move on!

    • cobrazombie

      Well she did spend a lot of her life in England, so it’s entirely possible she lost her Australian accent while living there.

  • Jason Ross

    tihs ep is for da lulz

  • rashad1

    that poor pig died for nonthing

    • Duckler

      He died for the sins of filmkind.

  • Martín Galarza Flores

    The thing with Passion is that it’s stylistically designed to be that way, you can’t undo that… but you can diminish the effects of it.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Mr. Plinkett’s burgers were brought to you by Culver’s.

  • Whatinthebutt

    Why do they think Martin Scorsese is better than Coppola? I mean Coppola made one of the greatest movies and Scorses got some inspiration from them.

    • dollar store cashier wife

      I think they pretty much say it in the video-Scorsese still shows creativity and passion for filmmaking at his ripe age while Coppola makes things like Twixt.Granted Coppola has given us some of the finest films ever made but then he faded away into obscurity for 30 motherfucking years never again showing the same skill he displayed in his masterpieces.Scorsese doesn’t make Goodfellas or Taxi Driver every two years as well but they are still quality films so yeah.

      • Intheknow

        He stopped doing drugs. Explains everything.

      • sepiajack

        My so-so feelings about Scorsese’s body of work aside, I would agree that of his contemporaries, all those big shot guys who came out of the 70s film revolution, he is certainly the only one who still seems to care about what he’s doing in the same way he did back then. I may not like all (or even most) of his films, but whether they work or not is not for lack of trying. So I’ll give him points for that. He’s also pretty big on old school movie magic, and not over reliance on computers.

        I know there was a thing when gangs of NY was being made that Lucas visited the sets and couldn’t believe MS went to all the trouble to build them and he was just dumbstruck and said “but you could have just done this all with green screens and digital sets?????”

        • Cameron Vale

          It would have been interesting to see Lucas’ version of Gangs of New York, with every scene looking like something out of “Sky Captain and the World Of Tomorrow.”

          • Alex Lee

            I forgot that movie existed. All I remember was being underwhelmed by the dogfights in that movie.

          • ident

            That’s funny. Michael Vick said the same thing in his review.

  • sepiajack

    I must have watched the opening skit of this episode where they are doing the Scorese guys parody 10 times. One of the very best bits they’ve ever done. Jay’s accent is priceless:

    “Cause I have to get up off the baffroom!”

    • Mark Bisone

      Technically speaking, the more accurate word would have been “battrooom”. But I’ll give them leeway for their midwestern-ess.

  • ident

    True. When I watched Citizen Kane and Charles Foster Kane died 2 minutes into the movie, I was done. I mean, now that I know he dies who really gives a shit about what happens for the next 90 minutes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I don’t know about you guys, but I feel as if the government is behind NASA…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    At around the 30 minute mark when they’re talking about diminishing the effects of what was stylistically designed to be that way, an image of George Lucas slowly fades in. RLM is fucking brilliant. These small touches really made the episode work.

    • SomeoneElseTookDude

      I heard if you say his name three times into the mirror George Lucas shows up to ruin your movie

      • Joe Syxpac

        No, you have to say “It’s gonna be great” three times and your movie is ruined.

        • Thanatos2k

          It’s gonna be great.

          ….I’ll go first.

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      Oh god that’s terrifying, I didn’t notice it the first time but I went back and… gaahh :O

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        You didn’t notice it, but your brain did…

    • catnep

      I see Aslan.

  • Bacchus

    I’m going to pronounce DVD and Blu-Ray like this forever now.

  • bb-15

    Nice to see what Rich eats on his days off.
    - Mike and Jay doing their Scorsese actor impressions was fun, especially with the idea that someone has to be cutting vegetables. (Was that supposed to be referring to Paulie in “Goodfellas”?)
    - I saw “The Wolf of Wall Street” tonight because of this review. It was great.
    Scorsese is in top form at the level of “The Departed” or “Casino”.

    • catnep

      Hey yeah, was that a Paulie reference? Paulie sliced the garlic with a razorblade, extra thin so it would liquefy as soon as it hit the pan. We just re-watched that moobie.

  • Jason Ross

    I’ve also seen a lot of people talking about the length.

    • Mijk

      I think 42 minutes is an appropiate lenght for an episode of Half in the Bag.

    • Duckler

      Oh, I’m sure you fit into the “average” range..

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I think you need to specify what you’re saying, especially when you use ‘length’ so ambiguously.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I’m willing to bet there is gonna be a Weekend at Bernie’s type skit in the future.

  • Intheknow

    Mmm those bowel drippings look like chocolate milk….

    • TapewormBike

      I always thought that chocolate milk tastes like shit……oh my GOOOOOOD!

      • TapewormBike

        I fucking love Soylent Green though.

        • Fartastic

          It’s good, but not as good as hotdogs.

          • Alex Lee

            Soylent Green is healthier than hotdogs.

          • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

            I have Solyent Green every time I take Communion at church. Wafers may or may not literally be Jesus depending on the tenets of your faith. Ironically, I consider Rich Evans to be my personal Savior.

          • Joe Syxpac

            The Church of Rich has bacon butter cheeseburgers for communion.

            None of that lightweight wafer crap. Diet at home you new age hippie.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          “Soylent Green is people!”

          http://youtu.be/9IKVj4l5GU4?t=1m3s

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    “One of my favorite films of da year was JORBS, starring Ashtron Kouchsurfer.” — Coach Z.

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      You’ve obviously been dwinking Listewine.

      • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

        I’ve been drinking Plinkett Bowel Drippings 2013 Reserve. Yeah, I admit it, I’m a bit of a wine snob.

  • sepiajack

    I’m still very curious about Don Jon, we have a million movies a year about violence yet so few that really explore human sexuality & romance on a deeper level, even if the movie is not a total win I appreciate JGL for at least tackling the subject. Plus Scarlett Johansson is very watchable.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Scaw-lit Jo-hawn-sin*

      You know, because of her thick accent in the film.

    • ident

      You, sir, need to watch more Lifetime and give us back JGL for our violent movies.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    You bought your cakes at the Walgreen’s bakery isle in Gilbert, Arizona… I know because I SOLD THEM TO YOUUU!!!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I was hoping this would be the reply. I was not disappointed.

  • Dennis Cornetta

    That cheeseburger pile made me so hungry.

  • babyjew

    Couldn’t agree more.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The fact that they kept listing terrible things after the initial Nazi claim makes me think they were joking.

    • Sully

      Likely.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I wonder what he sounds like singing “Ow, my groin.”

    • LelouchtheFilial

      We already know of his incredible range from when he sang, “Let’s All Go to the Lobby.”
      Hey, have you ever seen those weird youtube videos about the creepy old man reviewing Star Trek?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Twixt is up there too, right?

    • Cameron Vale

      Twixt is the only one with the cookie crunch.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “as Mike is wont to do.”

    Huh?

    http://i.minus.com/iKLigaldyCD8i.gif

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      It is it?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Don’t screw around, you screw around too much.

  • whip

    So, when’s the first installment of “Fuck you, it’s January”?

    • LelouchtheFilial

      Unless these lazy hacks get off their fucking asses, I’m assuming it’ll be in May.
      No, but seriously, I’m looking forward to it.

    • Duckler

      When does Hercules come out?

  • Robert Fitl

    So, hate to be this person, but is Plinkett dead in terms of reviews?

    • HNSZ

      Plinkett reviews are made because of thoughts that ache so much that Stoklasa has to put them down. This is why they are so good. Because he has come back to the movie so many times in his head, every point he makes hits the mark.

      The reason several got made in such a short time span, was because he had been walking aroung with those in his head for years already.

      So I would say, definitely expect one, but not soon.

      • bb-15

        @ HNSZ; completely agree. There are only 13 full length Plinkett reviews; 5 are for Star Trek and 3 for Star Wars.
        The changes in those franchese towards shlock were Mike’s passion.
        - The Crystal Skull review was just a continuation of how Lucas could mess up a franchise.
        - Then Mike explored how Hollywood big budget movies have become simplistic in terms of characters by looking at the Cameron blockbusters, Titanic and Avatar.
        - That’s 11 out of the 13 Plinkett reviews which are about what Mike is passionate about.
        * The only recent movie where Mike came close to being as upset imo was Man of Steel. But two Half in the Bag episodes went into lots of detail about MOS. Do Mike and Jay need to do an hour long Plinkett review about that movie? Maybe.
        - Once Space Cop is done, Mike and Jay will figure out what film should get the Plinkett treatment. But I don’t think it would be an easy decision.

        • Josh Noble

          Forrest Gump has my vote

    • Duckler

      If you think that RLM care that much about continuity, then you’ll believe Margaret Thatcher is dead too.. oh wait.

    • catnep

      My child, the prophecy states that Plinkett will rise again in this 14th baktun. Also…he will look like Viggo Mortensen and smell like pancakes!

      • Liz Frazier

        Let the church say amen…

        • catnep

          And pass the syrup!

    • The Summer of George

      Luckily, fake Plinkett doesn’t do reviews.

  • Billy Nunez

    Exaggerated Scorcese’s continuity errors… Well done, RLM.

  • Guest

    I’d like to both up- and downvote this idea. Must be reflecting my bowel movements.

  • GENERALZOD

    I would like to now why are red capsicum dearer than green capsicum

  • ident

    So the point of the movie is there is no identity or free will. We are all clay without agency given no definition but that which the rest of the world allows us. This is a horror movie, right?

  • ident

    Yes, today’s generation is so arrogant and immature. Unlike every other generation which had manly beards and three kids by the time they were 12. Every generation thinks they invented sex and every generation thinks the upcoming generation is immature.

    • TapewormBike

      Sure, I agree. We do however increase ways to underlie just how shitty we all are. Man, it is hard to type and make points while jacking off.

  • ident

    No more than the technology of agriculture or plumbing.

  • Hale

    Good Christ Jay, THAT’S how you slice bell peppers?! I’m so fucking ashamed. Unsubscribed.

  • ident

    If they had gone to the theater every day they still could not have seen these movies as most of those were not shown in theaters (outside film festivals) or had a limited release.

  • nocomment

    I don’t think Spring breakers is good.
    But then again I thought Harmony was a girls name!
    What do I know…

  • Duckler

    No Mike, you PULL the floating text over to your side, you don’t push it. Amateurs.

  • bb-15

    About Prometheus and a Plinkett review; What some RLM fans think of a movie does not necessarily = the reaction Mike and Jay had.
    - Some people hated Prometheus. But in the RLM/HITB review Jay liked Prometheus a lot and Mike thought it was OK.
    - I would be surprised if Mike and Jay picked Prometheus for a Plinkett review.

    • Alex Lee

      Maybe, if it was Prometheus, it’d be a comparison to Star Trek V. Maybe Prometheus was the mirror universe equivalent to The Final Frontier. I expect Charlize Theron with Jay’s beard in that review.

  • Geahk Burchill

    I’m looking forward to this years
    “Fuck you, it’s January”
    Feature. Will it be the latest Schwartzenegger flop like it was last year? I do hope so.

  • ident

    You had me at “it looks good”, Micha Bay.

  • ident

    What?

    • Cameron Vale

      4chan is a message board oriented website where people do the arrow prompt thing to point out humorous contradictions, like
      >wants to be a movie critic someday
      >liked ‘ernest goes to camp’
      and dollar store cashier wife was trying to float that joke style over here. To which Lead Mate took grievous umbrage.

      • ident

        Oh, a translator. So what does “LE EPIC GREEN TEXT MAY MAYING”? mean

  • Grant Butler

    Why do people hate Leo so much?

    - Gilbert Grape
    - Romeo and Juliet
    - Titanic
    - The Beach
    - Gangs of New York
    - Catch me if you Can
    - The Aviator
    - The Departed
    - Blood Diamond
    - Body of Lie
    - Revolutionary Road
    - Shutter Island
    - Inception
    - Django Unchained
    - The Great Gatsby
    - The Wolf of Wall Street

    I mean those are all his films I’ve seen and like… has he ever been in a bad movie? I just don’t understand why people hate him and why he hasn’t won an Oscar yet, he’s probably the best Actor of his generation.

    • nocomment

      “Stop title-dropping U neck-bearded hipster!”

    • TapewormBike

      I liked or loved most of those movies, but come on, Leo is just being Leo in almost all of them. I give him Gilbert Grape though, that was pretty amazing.

      • Grant Butler

        What Actor/Actress isn’t them in every film? Whenever I see a famous Actor/Actress I know them straight away and all their mannerisms repeat from movie to movie.

        He is a great Actor, he should get more respect,just like the movie Titanic, which was a great movie despite the haters thanx to that stupid song.

        • TapewormBike

          I was not saying he sucks in those movies youknow. You are right, many actors are just themselves in slightly different clothes in many movies, for sure. I just find DiCaprio too boring usually, similarly to Tom Cruise. Now I love some movies with Tom Cruise, but he is not the reason for that. Granted, it is not that fair to compare him to those guys, but say Day-Lewis, Brando and uber leaguer guys like that can completely change role from role. Another thing is the fit between the actor style and the movie. For example Ch. Waltz is completely the fucking same guy in Basterds and Django, only on the bad side in the former and on the good side in the latter (plus a sweet beard). But he is THE fucking guy for that type of dialogue, so I did not mind at all. DiCaprio is perfectly ok, but rarely amazing. I have not seen Wolf of Wall st. yet btw, he looks fitting for the role (although again, Jonah Hill is the one I am excited to see, since I really liked him in Moneyball).

          Titanic is a fine movie, but too overblown for my taste. I did not like any character to care too much about what happens, the framing of interviewing the old lady dates it and is unnecessary and the dialogue sorta scrapes my ears at many points. DiCaprio was ok for what he was portraying (not much) – but I do not blame him, since I do not care for Kate Winslet in that flick either and I think she is absolutely fantastic actress.

          Just saying my opinion here, not countering yours, since they are both, you know, opinions.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I’m excited to see Hill in TWOWS as well. They say he stole the show [and some money... zzzzzzzing!].

        • Thanatos2k

          An actor “not being themself” is called ACTING.

        • AlcaldeEste

          Daniel Day-Lewis doesn’t play himself in every film. He becomes the character.

    • Thanatos2k

      But he never really made any of those movies. They were good in spite of him, not because of him.

      • Grant Butler

        I disagree, the amount of women he turned on in Titanic, they all went home all horny and loved up, to have sex with a partner that they haven’t done since they had kids..

    • ident

      He picks good movies. I disagree with Thanatos2k that they were good in spite of him, but he certainly did not elevate the material.

      • Grant Butler

        Tbh he could win for just not picking crap movies, every other actor/actress I know has been in loads of crap movies, Leo is the only one I can think of who picks his movies so well.

        Catch me if you can is one of my fave movies ever, though Tom Hanks is probably a big reason for that as he is just the best of the best. I loved him in The Terminal more than anything else.

    • Zachary “Crash” Ronson

      You can be in a good movie and still be a bad actor, you know. I don’t hate Leonardo DiCaprio, but basically any of those movies you listed could easily have had a different actor in the lead role and ended up better for it.

      It’s less “Leo hate” and more “Leo indifference” and you should stop being a fanboy that’s trying to put yourself in the minority to justify your own belief rather than, you know, just enjoying him as an actor without seeking some sort of validation from him.

  • omitted

    You gotta stop with that “Confirmed for gay” stuff. It’s cruel to tease me with the prospect of getting to be intimate with Jay and his beard. If I really thought I had a chance, I would be on the next flight over

    • TapewormBike

      Oh I always figured you were a woman:) Yay for creepy stalker guys like you and me!

      • omitted

        Proudly creeping since 2012, when in Episode 31 Jay turned tricks in the alley for movie ticket money. Never could get that image out of my head…

  • super butt

    Really great gross out disgusting video you guys.

  • ident

    So the two lessons of the movie are “women don’t live up to fantasy” and “just be yourself”. I’m starting to agree that this was a vanity project, because only an actor would think these are profound ideas worth making a movie about.

    • Hieronymus Friedrich von Münch

      it’s just the ‘just be yourself’ one. but the moral of the story always sounds trite if you just recite the appropriate truism, that’s the point of having a whole movie/novel/painting/etc. for example Macbeth could be summed up as ‘be careful what you wish for’ [or alternatively 'bitches be crazy'] but it’s still one of the best things ever written. Don Jon isn’t one of the best things ever written but it’s a nice little film.

      • ident

        That’s fair, but, I think, mistaken. I disagree with your first summary of MacBeth as MacBeth didn’t wish for power initially (at least, no more than anyone else) and I would further argue that there are many lessons to be drawn from MacBeth, but that would be a long digression. A good story is more than its lessons, otherwise it is just an Aesop’s fable. Having not seen Don Jon entirely, I run close to talking out of my ass but here is my impression: JGL had a lesson and worked his way backward, rendering the lesson as central to the story as the moral is to the fable. And because the lesson is so central and, also, so elementary, and because there isn’t much else going on, it comes across as simultaneously preachy and obvious.

        • Cameron Vale

          I think of Iron Man 3 as a modern version of Macbeth, from the point of view of Macduff.

          • ident

            Yes, Pepper Potts perfectly mirrored Lady MacBeth’s own growth into an immortal, fire-breathing superbeing.

          • Cameron Vale

            Pepper is Lady MacDuff actually. Maya (the dark haired evil chick) is Lady MacBeth.

  • Alex Lee

    The description of Don Jon sounds like the movie works at what it was trying to do, given how dumb a lot of relationships actually are. It also sounds like the moral of the story was clearly communicated and properly set up. I guess, then, is that it’s too easy and simple to jump to that conclusion, which is probably why Mike did not like it.

    • Patrick

      Don Jon may have succeeded at what it was trying to do; that doesn’t make it any less shallow and overdone.

  • Jesse Meriwether

    Ok, this is what I want to see:
    Now that Plinkett is in a food coma – Mike and Jay take “Vegetable Plinkett” down to the courthouse and collect his settlement money. They will do this very respectfully by paying homage to “Weekend at Bernies” (or some other film in which a corpse and/or vegetable is paraded around as a person of sound mind).
    This money allows Mike and Jay to become CEOs of their own “Umbrella Corporation”.
    Their new job is to review movies. And to “be evil”.
    It also gives them the authority to send celebrity teams into space to battle zombies.
    First match up: Mila & Leo Vs. Zombies

  • ident

    Yes, just keep watching it until you like it. Like cigarettes.

    • Cameron Vale

      It’s got characters AND visuals!

  • GeneralGrievance

    Fruitvale Station, The Act Of Killing and 12 Years A Slave were truly excellent movies…all definitely must-see movies…ironically they are all extremely difficult to watch…thanks for making me realize 2013 was a huge year for movies

    • ident

      Oh my, a correct use of “ironically”.

  • ikilledacat

    I’m not surprised by Mike’s opinion on Don Jon, but I thought it was a well crafted movie with well developed charas. I usually despise ScarJo, but she was quite entertaining and it was nice to see a realistic portrayal of how some women of this generation can behave: highly manipulative and controlling of their bf’s identity. Yes, there were some clumsy chara introductions regarding Moore’s chara, but it’s still a freshman effort and Don’s well-developed chara more than makes up for it. He is a difficult chara to relate to esp with porn as a primer, but I thought he was fleshed out. It was a similar but juxtaposed chara to the guy in 500 days – both have very confused delusions about the opposite sex. It was nice to see their chara arcs evolve to more mature and realistic expectations of how a healthy relationship is conducted.

    • ident

      I trust the opinion of any man too busy to type out the word “character”.

  • ikilledacat

    Agreed with Jobs. Ashton is just a horrible actor and should no longer receive dramatic roles. His facial expressions in dramatic scenes clearly show that he doesn’t have any confidence in what emotion he’s supposed to be expressing or how to convey it. He looks like he’s on the verge of crying or laughing or just being sarcastic. I don’t know anything about Steve Jobs, but this movie makes it out like he was just a giant douche that made hurtful decisions towards close friends/colleagues out of spite and professional advancement. Felt like this was a movie written by someone with a grudge.

  • Poncho

    I disagree with Don Jon…I thought it was very funny.

    • ident

      I disagreed with Don Jon, also, until the usher asked me to stop arguing with the screen and leave.

    • Stephan Kniep

      I agree with you. Thought it was funny too and it had a good point… a bit over the top, but it was a good time

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m Taco.

  • http://www.therobotspajamas.com/ RobotsPJs

    I really want that hamburger.

    Also slide whistle attacks are pretty common in Milwaukee. I’ve lost a lot of friends to slide whistles.

    • Duckler

      We have a strict nerd quota here.. Geddout!!!

  • Jewkeeper

    I just wanted to say that if you guys are great and if you’re getting tired of making Half in the Bag, feel free to take a break! Even if this was the last HITB I would still be happy. Mike and Jay, you’ve given me a lot of laughs and your entertainment has a lot of replay value. Some people get upset that you don’t produce more, but you’re but men! I’m such a big fan, I wouldn’t want to burden you with working on something that your heart wasn’t in.

    But if you still want to make HITB or any other shows I’ll always watch

    • ident

      If they are great?

    • FestusOnigbinde

      I agree, like come on. Why don’t you stop making Half in the bag already? I really enjoy it, and I’m a big fan, always looking forward to the next episode (seen them all btw, even some twice!). But I wonder, like, why don’t you just stop making them? That would be great! I would be so happy if it turned out this was the last episode of HITB.

      Actually I’m a big fan of all Red Letter Media, but.. I was wondering, why don’t you just shut the site down? In fact, I insist. You are men! Take the site down, and rest. I’m such a big RLM fan, I don’t want to burden you. You don’t have to keep doing this just for me.

      Of course if you WANT to make them, for whatever reason.. feel free :)

      Best regards, wishing you a happy ending!

      • TapewormBike

        I say that often to my girlfriend : “I love you so so much. Oh and btw, if you want, you totes can commit suicide. Cool with me.”

  • Robby

    Dividis an bluers kills me every time.

    • http://www.therobotspajamas.com/ RobotsPJs

      They are my format of choice for moopies.

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    AnchorMan2 had better be next

    • Alex Lee

      Eh, It seems like a less offensive version of Grown Ups 2. I hope it’s better than that, but I remember seeing AnchorMan 1 and aside from Steve Carrol reading gibberish on a teleprompter, I can’t remember anything about it.

      • Craig (Bonsai)Bryce

        It’s Steve Carell not Carrol, and his scene where he reads the gibberish is in Bruce Almighty not Anchorman. Judging by your errors, yes you don’t remember Anchorman at all, and yes you should watch it again to be enlightened to it’s awesome hilarity

        • Alex Lee

          You’re partially right; I don’t remember it at all, but I wouldn’t watch that movie again because I don’t like Will Ferrell all that much, and if I forgot everything about it, it means I didn’t laugh at all.

          • Craig (Bonsai)Bryce

            Fair enough mate, each to their own, just had to correct ya though champ hehe, hope ya understand

  • Jailhouse McGee

    Just came back from watching Sharknado… I had the same problems: it’s designed to be bad, so how could it be great for being so bad? It completely lacks the charm of a Troll 2 or Galaxy Invader, it lacks incompetence.

    If you want to make a bad movie with competence, you just end up with a bad movie. So what’s the point?

    • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

      If the popularity of bad movies like The Room and Samurai Cop could be described as grassroots, Sharknado is the astroturf equivalent.

  • FearAndSlothing
    • The Willard

      Fourteen. You’re right. This is good work.

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    Butcher Bill is such an awesome character! Everything DD Lewis does is brilliant. Gangs of NY should be called “Daniel Day Lewis” and some other people. If you’re gonna knock Gangs don’t knock Lewis ffs.

    • ident

      Did they?

  • dead_magazine

    C’mon Mike, take another look at Twixt.

    • ident

      Do you think Twixt taking 90 more minutes of his life will make him like it more or less?

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    “I gotta get up off the bathroom.”

    genius

  • Sharon Douglas

    I am very slowly forgiving you for not mentioning The Worlds End once, not even in a 2013 look back.

    • Robby

      It’s okay. You and I both know how good it was!

      • ident

        As good as the one with the alien, I guess.

      • Sharon Douglas

        I thought it was a great end to the cornetto trilogy (admittedly this maybe a bigger deal here in the UK?). There just doesn’t seem to be as much love for it as there was for Shaun or Hot Fuzz but for me its just as good as either. I would have a hard time choosing a favorite from the three.

        • Robby

          I really liked it, but I always thought it was strange to lump it in with Shaun and Hot Fuzz. The other two are very sharp satires, but The World’s End is just a fairly straightforward story about a guy who can’t let go of the past. Still, the more times I’ve seen it, the more I like how subtle the message is. Not to mention all the subtle cameo’s by a lot of actors who have appeared previously with Simon Pegg. It was fantastic to see Tires from Spaced again.

          • Sharon Douglas

            Your right that it does have a different feel that SOTD or HF but it ties in in a weird way. SOTD has the apocalyptic vibe and HF has the people in the village that are not all that they seem. Both themes that crop up in TWE, but these scenarios play out so differently. SOTD and HF both have a central character that adapts to an unfamiliar sittuation and learns that they need to change to cope. Shaun gains more focus and drive whilst Nick Angel realises that he can’t always play by the rules and has to relax. Queue happy(ish) endings. In TWE Peggs character doesn’t seem to change at all, he stays an arsehole to the very end and the world adapts to him. He has a happy ending but no one else does. It is SOTD and HF flipped.
            Pfffff I dont know how to explain what I am trying to say which is why I wish ^^^these^^^ guys would have a crack at it. Or maybe they hated it :)

            I love Spaced by the way. Tires is a brilliant character.

          • DannyCBrennan

            I don’t think that’s exactly true.
            At the start of the film, Gary is an alcoholic figure of chaos, in the end, he’s sober and functions as the leader of four otherwise lost people.
            It wouldn’t have been possible without the apocalypse, but then again, Shaun and Nicholas would have stayed the same if it weren’t for the zombies and NWA.
            As for the other surviving characters: Andy reconciles with his wife and Steve finally gets together with Sam, so really they both got pretty conventional happy endings.

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  • Voodoo Blues

    What’s with all the Dicrapio hate? I think he’s a great actor, I’m not a huge fan but I think he’s good.

    • Kyle

      In Great Gatsby, he consistently pronounced what I can only imagine was written as spor’ as spore. It should be just a tiny hiccup replacing the t in sport, but instead he held out that r like sporrrr. It sounds ridiculous.

      • Akeuw

        What’s the big idea, he pronounced a word in a queer way, big fucking deal. I don’t think he is a good actor but he is certainly not a bad actor. A lot of times the dialogue he receives is just poorly written.

    • Zachary “Crash” Ronson

      I wouldn’t call him a “great” actor by any means personally. Just a good actor that I’ve never really seen as someone who elevates a movie.

      • Steve Jones

        He was awesome in Django Unchained. By far he and Christoph Waltz were the best things in that movie.

  • El_Runko

    “but then again they’d probably be too scared to let those words come out of their mouths in a public forum.”

    Sure. Or maybe because his films with DeNiro were a lot better. And DeNiro was a lot better than DiCaprio.

  • Kyle

    Everyone who likes movies likes Martin Scorsese? I hate him! Hugo was overrated Oscar-bait shit! Pretentious prick.

  • KC Warren

    I liked Don Jon quite a bit. Have to disagree with the boys on that one.

  • Crowsteeth

    …More like “Fuck You, Asshole! It’s 2014!”

    :l

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  • DapperDon

    First time through, I didn’t like WoWS. Might watch it again.

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    Bored. Too little action. Too little in-depth character development.

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    worst…Jersey…accents….ever. Git some real jyabs ya hyacks!

  • Yezzir!

    There’s no character arc in this damn movie. The characters are flat and the same stuff keeps happening to them over and over.

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    Guys you need to fix some links in your A-Z. Loads of film reviews lead to here.

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