Half in the Bag: The Revenant

January 25, 20161,101 Comments

Mike and Jay talk about another movie set in the past, in the cold, and where people violently murder each other… Norm of the North!


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • Like Icare

    Finally!

  • Rich Evans is my spirit animal.

  • stryker1121

    I heard Revenant has “Oscar scene” flashing intermittently ala Wayne’s World.

  • Strong_Bow

    Qapla’!

  • RLMkeepitup

    I want to see this movie.. wait , no not norm of the north!! the other bear one

  • RolandDeschain1 .

    Mike’s right about THE CONJURING.

    ‘True events’, my ass. Fuck those movies for glorifying those crooks.

  • Percy Gryce

    I actually saw a movie before it was featured on HITB.

  • tOmy`

    Hey! Hey. guys! Finally!

    Now you can criclejerk about bullshit! Finally.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yay contempt! wait did I spell that right?

  • RLMkeepitup

    they certainly gave you plenty of time! wait why haven’t i seen it

  • Percy Gryce

    Mike reads the Drudge Report. Drudge was the one pushing the bear-rape meme.

  • tOmy`

    Well, thank fuck for Jay.

  • RolandDeschain1 .

    Tom Hardy gives the best Tommy Lee Jones since Heath Ledger in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.

  • Joe

    In first 20 comments?

  • RLMkeepitup

    if you want to see a good bear movie be sure to watch The Edge

  • Percy Gryce

    The Revenant was the first time that I thought Leo didn’t look like a little kid.

  • Jazbeck

    It’s a gorgeous turd.

  • That bear gave me nightamres!

  • Joe Syxpac

    Content?

    *puts down razor blade*

  • I’ll wait for the stream, or by the stream?

  • Like Icare

    For your enemies’ dead bodies to float by?

  • RLMkeepitup

    i know. i went hiking in montana twice and saw grizzlies..both times I thought of that movie haha

  • Or a hot young Dakota Fanning.

  • thomas040

    didn’t even make past the opening joke before i had to pause it from laughing.

  • Like Icare

    Speaking of streaming…
    Dakota Skye made a career out of looking kinda like Dakota Fanning.

    http://i.imgur.com/msOTb7S.jpg

  • My copy of Space Cop just arrived. Which should I watch first? Half in the Bag or SC?!

  • RLMkeepitup

    is that belly button an innie or an outie? #??

  • The Narrator

    I really liked this, but there was definitely something holding me back from loving it (like I did with Birdman and Amores perros). Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu is a great filmmaker of action and actions, but there’s still some of the ponderousness from his middle period (which I’m not a fan of at all, save for the Japan sequences in Babel) that he tries to fit into this that doesn’t really work (it’s weird, I didn’t really have the same problem at all with Birdman, which is a lot blunter about its themes). But I thought the filmmaking (and most of the performances, especially from Tom Hardy and, of all people, Will Poulter) really carried it to the finish line, and it has some of Emmanuel Lubezki’s best-ever cinematography, so my main reaction was still largely positive. I feel like seeing it again just to clarify my thoughts a little better, and to get another look at those images on the big screen.

  • While watching The Revenant, I laughed out loud at the might-as-well-be-stock “Leo Scream” when he tumbled over that waterfall.

  • Did you have a knife protruding through your chest at the time?

  • And also I’m white

  • Like Icare

    Is your privilege running? Don’t know? Then you better go and check it.

  • TheManHole

    Half in the bag, at least you know it won’t sell out on you.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    BOTH!

  • TheManHole

    I wonder how many Half in the Bag bottle openers are all over the RLM warehouse floor.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    7.

  • Like Icare

    Probably more than Space Cop Blu-rays…

  • TheManHole

    Well glade to know someone has been counting.

  • Bubs

    So… let me get this straight… at some point in the past week, instead of constantly printing more copies of Space Cop to meet the public’s demand – you know, the movie you were working on for 15 years – you went to see a movie and then filmed and edited yourselves talking about it?
    WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUR PRIORITIES?!

  • Moist

    I thought the main theme here was pretty blunt. Tom Hardy was an unintelligible atheist whose pragmatic materialism set him at odds against DiCaprio’s more spiritualistic inclinations. Both of them endure enormous amounts of suffering but DiCaprio gets to see things like his wife’s soul emerging from her body as a bird and he gets some kind of sense of greater purpose. The secondary theme was that bears want to rape Leonardo DiCaprio.

  • The Narrator

    Oh, I’m not saying this movie is subtle, it’s just that Birdman‘s themes are spelled out explicitly in the dialogue over and over, which isn’t so much the case here.

  • Like Icare

    Priorities? All they got are talking about movies. And these pelts.

  • Moist

    I didn’t see Birdman. Was anybody raped by an animal in that one?

    P.S.: I’m masturbating right now.

  • TheManHole

    To quote a wise man “Do you know how hard it is to make sound business decisions when you’re always drunk.”

  • Bubs

    To quote Candi Gurl: “Tru dat”

  • Adzl33t

    Don’t bring my hopes up Mike and Jay with finally an animated movie review :p

    Please review Anomilisa

  • Noah R.

    Probably the most satisfying feeling I’ve had leaving a movie this year was this one.

  • namastebob

    Boys, it’s always a pleasure to watch you and listen to your insights but I am always amazed at how few old movies you seem to have seen. For example, just as you didn’t make the connection between ‘The Hateful Eight’ and 1975’s ‘Breakheart Pass’, you don’t seem to know about ‘Jeremiah Johnson’ (1972) which is almost the same film as ‘The Revenant’ except it’s more gritty, dirty and bear-attacky-left-for-deady. See more old movies, film chums!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I’d like to think they were just both too drunk when they watched this movie. The alternative is that they’re just both that dull. And, I repeat, I don’t want to believe the alternative. I want to believe the first option. Too drunk.

    “I don’t know what this movie is about.”

    “You’ve talked for fourteen hours on what The Prequels are about.”

    “Yeah. Your point?”

    “Have another beer.”

  • jarjarmessiah

    Shinzon!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Nah. Hardy was clearly a self-professed Christian. (He professes it himself several times.) All the “God is a squirrel stuff” was irony.

  • namastebob

    I hope you will all join me in hoping that Leo does not get an Oscar for this movie or, indeed, any movie, so that we can see him really act: pretending to be happy while Matthew Maconaghey or Ryan Somebody bounds up the glittering stairs to accept the award that will never be his.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Everybody, it seems, is jelly of when you and I circle jerk.

    Let’s do it triangularly from now on.

  • Max Wylde

    You hack frauds! Where’s the next Plinkett review?

  • The pronounciation in this episode is epic.

    Mike: “Dumnelee Nwieelson.”

    Jay: “Allyhanro Inneerawtwo.”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Why is this amazing? It amazes me when any children of The ’80s on the internet acknowledge there were movies before Spielberg.

  • namastebob

    Well, it’s amazing because Jay and Mike obviously love film.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    But you’re young, right? So you totally get that The Oscars should have nominahed the Compton movie, right?

    I mean, you’re off-white, yeah? Not like racist white?

  • Marvin

    I like that scale joke very much.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Um, I always thought they loved B-movies. I don’t get that they’re closeted film-school dudes.

  • Sleverin

    I don’t see why that’s amazing. With the internet at out fingertips, it should be surprising if people don’t know. I was born in ’87 but have see a ton of film noir and I love actors such as Bogart and his sexy female costar Lauren Bacall. That said, I don’t think Jeremiah Johnson is a movie that’s hailed much anymore. Its not the Godfather or Taxi Driver.

  • Shameless product placement within the first minute. I THOUGHT YOU HACKS WOULD NEVER STOOP SO LOW.

    https://jajreviews.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/vlcsnap-2012-04-18-21h41m53s115.png

    UNSUBSCRIIIBBBBBE…..

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Little known fact: Every time you unsubscribe, the internet cookies automatically re-subscribes you.

  • They’re too busy watching the shitty VHSs we send them.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I’m proud of you. I think you’re an exception.

  • Noah R.

    I’m offended. I prefer the term European-American.

  • Right. I am more than a color

  • Gavin Callaghan

    Instead of making a film about some fur trapper ‘ s revenge story, they should have made an epic film about the migration of the Mormons into the West. The story would have had much more substance.

  • frankelee

    Speaking of erotic rape scenes!

  • Noah R.

    Or lack thereof, but I get the point lol

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Depends. Are you talking light or pigment?

  • Are those like Girl Scout cookies? ‘Cause those little ***ts keep coming back to “re-subscribe” me more samoas. AND I KEEP FALLING FOR IT.

  • Sleverin

    Perhaps. But those with any curiosity should be able to seek out and find just about any film, art, music, etc. I read that a musician I like grew up on another artist, I look them up, listen to a song or two on Youtube and then have all their good albums within the week. Its so amazingly easy that if people say they can’t look people up means they won’t look people (or art) up. Instead we use it to look up fart jokes and cat videos.

  • Noah R.

    Neither. Cheese colors. I prefer Swiss to most cheeses.

  • namastebob

    True, but it’s still a watchable studio movie starring a major star with some original touches. It’s not the film-by-numbers quota fillers today’s studios churn out.

  • The only way to know we are all cheese is to emphasize how different all the types are.

  • Noah R.

    Blue cheese is the oddball here. It’s good, but only when mixed with other food. Sorry blue…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Swiss? It’s no Gouda.

  • Noah R.

    What kind of cheese do you like to grate?

  • Palpatine

    I agree with Mike, Tom Hardy should win for Best Supporting Actor, even though I hated his character.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Cheddar is beddar.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Samoas? Yes, please!

  • Sleverin

    Its so sad that the industry (and we consumers are not free of blame) has made itself into such a farce. When big budget “blockbusters” are the most mindless entertainment and movies are nothing more than basic investments for people to hopefully get a profit out of, the industry suffers. Of course, people pay for it, which enables it. That’s not saying that bad movies never existed before now, but I now enjoy watching cheesy movies because they have no qualms about what they try to do. The movies now seem to try and pretend as if they’re quality entertainment when a lot of it just McDonald’s.

  • Blue cheese occupies the strange niche of tasting like vomit but being good simultaneously

  • Moist

    YOU’RE an ironic squirrel. Come rape me while I masturbate.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Um, he’s not called Birdman because one of his parents doesn’t have wings. Sheesh!

  • Sleverin

    They’ve mentioned going to film school a couple of times on this or Best of The Worst. I don’t think Jay was especially fond of it, as he points out when he really hates pretentious film school bullshit while also loving more weird indie or surreal films.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    This being the same Jay of Jay’s Vlog?

    Jejeje.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “Yah. I vill shake mine beeg floofy tail for you, bud I yam steel ze rodent. Like ze rat which of you ah so afrayeed,” says the ironic squirrel.

  • Strong_Bow

    Confirmed for newb

  • Moist

    Look, just because someone calls himself a Christian that doesn’t mean they actually are a Christian. Now tickle my asshole with your squirrel whiskers.

  • Strong_Bow

    Mike was in film school. I don’t think Jay went to film school.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Nah.

  • It’s all those years in the dilithium mines on Remus. He is deep down a good guy. Give him a chance coach!

  • RiverDevil

    Spend eighteen hours every day under the lash of a Romulan guard and you’ll soon understand patience.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “Ooh. Zees squirrel vill only look ewe een ze eye, sven you know. Zees squirrel ees no hooer.”

  • Moist

    Somehow you’re doing it wrong.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    They compare THE REVENANT to BOYHOOD. That’s as far as I got.

  • Strong_Bow

    You must have missed out on the fifties, when they took advantage of technicolor and put out A LOT of stinkers.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “Or, ahm zees squirrel doink eet so right?”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    There’s never been a decade I’ve come across yet that compares to the last couple as far as stinkers go.

  • Palpatine

    He was in the what mines on what?

  • Palpatine

    You stopped watching the review?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yep.

  • Sleverin

    I pointed out that bad movies have always existed. But I don’t know how much of those were wide release, anticipated movies. I highly doubt films like “The Crawling Eye” was expected to match, or even be related to, “The Harder They Fall” or “The Searchers”.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Who is he nominahed against?

    I think the black actor should get it, automatically. Because, 2016.

  • Big McLargehuge

    Revenant was filmed in Alberta you HACK FRAUDS BET YOU CAN’T EVEN FIND THAT SHIT ON A GLOBE, FUCK’S SAKE

  • Palpatine

    Oh. Now what’re you going to do?

  • Strong_Bow

    Wasn’t he a clone of Piccard being used by the Romulans? Did he ‘mine’?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Right now? Well, I thought I’d answer your question.

    Then, I’ll probably just go to bed, if that’s all right.

  • It’s a planet in the Romulan Space Empire. STAR TREK YOU IDIOT! You remember Shinzon of Remus! He even has a cute monsterface!

    P.S Sorry bot the idiot part. *hug*

    http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/memoryalpha/images/8/84/Shinzon_deteriorates.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20101227153713&path-prefix=en

  • Not long after Shinzon was created, though, power within the Romulan Empire had shifted and the Romulan Senate abandoned its plan, believing it to be too provocative an act if discovered. With no use for such a clone, the Empire exiled Shinzon from Romulus, sending him to work as a slave laborer in the dilithium mines on Remus.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    When you typed that, all I read was blah blah blah, de blah blah.

  • Kenshiroh

    I can’t find any Hugh Glass action figures anywhere! #WheresHugh

  • Palpatine

    Ew, you got your slobber all over me!

  • That’s Star Trek Nemesis 4 U!

    #aachachaa #whatajoke

  • Palpatine

    Mike and Jay recommended it, just so you know.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    They recommend everything.

  • Kenshiroh

    Remember “Homer vs. Dignity”, the episode of The Simpsons where Homer gets raped by a panda?

  • It’s erotic! It’s warm mucus! It’s attractive!

  • Andrew Dickman

    Hack frauds, more like secret geniuses

  • Eric080

    Gleeson doesn’t fit in this movie. He should stick to being computer programmers.

  • Tommy Wiseau

    Ha ha, Mark and Susan. That was no bear. That was me!!!

  • Tommy Wiseau

    I think making of my film The Room was grueling and difficult. Where is my Oscar? And how there is movie out now called Room. Get out of town. Lightning only strikes once, arseholes.

  • Strong_Bow

    There were a lot of those muscle beach movies, ‘Epic’ flops, Elvis movies, thousands of B-movies, chick flicks and post-screwball rom-comedies like Bus Stop that aren’t necessarily bad, but are not really great movies. Same crap’s been pumped out of Hollywood since the thirties. Now there’s just more crap to wade through.

  • Palpatine

    You said the same thing to me after you got drunk during the Naboo post-invasion celebration fesitival V.I.P. after-party, remember?

  • Shhhhhhhhhhhhh

  • Palpatine

    Oh hai James Franco, I mean Tommy!

  • Strong_Bow

    Nice synopsis. I’ve never actually seen Nemesis.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    There weren’t any Marvel movies though.

  • Strong_Bow

    I’ve seen so many movies from the forty and fifties and I will say that most are consistently good; usually very sentimental, but good.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Hai.

  • God da*bleep*! SUBURBAN COMMANDO! That’s my joke! S*bleep* biscuits! They stole my joke! Jay Bauman needs an enema!

  • Palpatine

    He’s up against Stallone.

  • It’s a fun movie……………………………………………………………
    Go see it…………………………………………………………………….

  • Tommy Wiseau

    Seth Rogen is betray me by not have me play double role of Johnny and Tommy. I am much better at actor than James Franco.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You know, I’ve noticed this “phenomenon” as well, and I always wondered if it was just my bias, but even the stuff that’s downright crap from the ’40s and ’50s impresses me as being more artful than the generic product today.

    I’m not even sure it’s not my bias. I think it has something to do with black n’ white.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Where’s it playing?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Shirley, not just Stallone.

  • Palpatine

    I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    http://tinyurl.com/jqprrpx

    Oh, Matt. You could’ve just said nothing.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Oh. Mark Ruffalo or Christian Bale would deserve that one over Hardy even if a black actor had been nominahed.

  • Rand_Bot20

    Norm of the North was better than Citizen Kane.

  • Palpatine

    You and Neil Breen should write, direct, produce, and star in a film together!

  • Nowhere. Get it on blu-ray. Or DVD discount binge.

  • Strong_Bow

    Well, there were actual versatile actors and scriptwriters back then before the nepotism and dynastic rule took over. We’ll probably never see a Fred McMurray again. That guy could play a real creep in one picture and the nice guy next door in another. We’re stuck with Ed Helms.

  • Cakefarts

    My 2 cents.

    While watching the movie I recognized a lot of the technical brilliance on the screen when I saw it. Thinking more than once – wow how did they get that shot – or something similar. But that can only carry a movie so far.

    Still I couldn’t sit through the movie, literally. I had to quit it. I came to hate it even perhaps for this reason alone. The story was too sparse to sustain the movie in length and scope. Any viewer could leave more that 1/3 of the movie – come back and pick it up without having missed much.

    At best it was a movie of the week.

  • Rand_Bot20

    My parents said it was really violent and pointless.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Nah. It’s possibly the best movie ever made about white macho Manifest Destiny.

    “Possibly” is the qualifier that I’ve chosen for my hyperbole.

    This is the movie H8TEFUL wants to be when it starts wearing big boy pants.

  • Wait, that was not a real bear? Why is Leo even nominated? Brandon Lee took a bullet and continued to act! He got no Oscar.

  • It was ok until Bruce Willis showed up in a bunny suit. Then it went totally off the rails when Charlize Theron started working in the iron mine. All in all, though, probably Cary Grant’s best performance.

  • Moist

    Comedy is tragedy plus time.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Connect the two, please. I mean, despite the snow, violence and misery, what is the connection, really?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I think “Django Unchained” is still my favorite Leo performance. And he didn’t even get nominated for that shit.

    Tom Hardy, though. That guy can close my fuckin’ doors any time.

  • Rand_Bot20

    spot on lol

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Turbo Kid was fucking awesome. So much heart and Laurence Labeouf stole every scene (even from Michael Ironside!).

  • The scene where they go after Chinese immigrants in that boat was pretty intense.

  • castlemonster

    The dude wearing the bear suit did “rape” him later, though.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    This hack Mike didn’t know what “revenant” meant. Confirmed for not being a D&D player.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    No full Plinkett in years, no Stream-a-thon, no “Fuck You, It’s January”, no digital or dvd copies of Space Cop and Blu-Ray gone. “Fuck You, it’s Another Red Letter Media Year” starting off great.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Yeah, “I Spit On Your Grave” was a real treasure. Not Jess Franco artsy and rich, but still artsy and rich. Rich in rape…

  • netcrave

    Wow, you guys really hate poor Leo. 😛 I didn’t have this specific problem with the movie because, while not a fan of Leo, I also don’t hate him. There are actors I like more, but he’s definitely okay.

    But other than that I felt similar. I also liked the technical brilliance of the movie but didn’t know what I was supposed to make of the movie beyond that. It’s not remarkable in its overall story.

  • netcrave

    I guess they were very serious when saying that they don’t play games.

  • netcrave

    Since he was probably asked it would have been rude. 😛

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Surely Jay has played it, in a “ironic” way.

  • I say that Tom Hardy fellow seems familiar! He and I even became bald the same way in our youth.

  • Commander X

    The actual story is fascinating enough, there was no need to tack on the sort of bog-standard cliched melodramatic elements every Hollywood hack seems to think any narrative needs. I can’t speak of the novel it was based on, though I did read Western novelist Fred Manfred’s fictional take on the Glass story, Lord Grizzly as well as a couple of non-fiction books on the subject.

    ——————————–

    Despite his injuries, Glass regained consciousness, but found himself abandoned, without weapons or equipment. He had festering wounds, a broken leg, and deep cuts on his back that exposed his bare ribs. Glass lay mutilated and alone, more than 200 miles (320 km) from the nearest American settlement, at Fort Kiowa, on the Missouri River. Glass set the bone of his own leg, wrapped himself in the bear hide his companions had placed over him as a shroud, and began crawling back to Fort Kiowa. To prevent gangrene, Glass allowed maggots to eat the dead, infected flesh in his wounds.

    Glass crawled overland south toward the Cheyenne River, using Thunder Butte as a navigational tool, where he fashioned a crude raft and floated downstream to Fort Kiowa.

    And he wasn’t the only mountain man to survive a bear attack, Jedediah Smith survived a mauling.

    The actual, real life James “Grizzly” Adams was attacked by a big mother grizzly but he had some help from a grizzly he’d captured as a cub and raised, named “Benjamin Franklin” who battled the other beast, though he did end up suffering some wounds as did “Ben”.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I think it’s mostly Mike who isn’t fond of him. Jay seems like he can take him or leave him. And Rich doesn’t give a shit.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    He was merely curious about you.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I loved this movie. What Blue Ruin is to Jay The Revenant is to me.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re getting a movie about your movie.

  • kylemz

    Pathetic. And his “two years in a row…that’s insane” statement could read as sarcastic if you didn’t know he meant it (or is at least pretending to).

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There’s a problem with that Buffalo Liver argument Jay had. You still had to cook meat even if you were a mountain man like Glass. In fact we see people cooking meat in that opening sequence. Logically Glass would react that way. #GetYourFactStraight.

  • 24 minutes? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    How dare you guys review a movie that I love! Review The Boy starring Bat MILF!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    My buddy just quit his job at a movie theater and he told on his last he saw a mom take her young children to see The Revenant. When they walked out they looked fucking horrified.

  • Guss Aznable

    too soon

  • Michael Collins

    I was looking forward to this movie just to see how well done the violence is, but now Tom Hardy’s performance sounds like it could be worth seeing also..

    Well OK then.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Only the good ones survived. trust me there is no golden age.

  • Anthony D.

    I’m 100% certain you guys don’t care but I’m pretty sure it’s pronounced “In-yuh-ree-too.”

  • Snake Squeezer

    Green Room?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    “Mat Dehman”

    -Matt Damon

  • I’m sorry. Apologies. *sobs*

  • This is a Rambo prequel story and not some weird spiritual revenge movie. See Jebediah Rambo battle of grizzly attack after grizzly attack with his bear hands and… a .45!

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I haven’t yet seen this movie, but when I do I’ll be sure to post a review when their next video drops. I’m dedicated to staying off-topic like that. Back to 7-Eleven.

  • Cool! I saw Alien when I was nine at a friends house. I was terrified and his dad walked me home. I eventually had to tell his dad because I was afraid to go home by my self and he was angry and told my dad and then he got angry. I was grounded that weekend. But still totally worth it!

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    They were probably just appalled by the lack of diversity in the cast.

  • No japs nor chinamen. -5

  • Mr. Hardy has become a fine actor.

  • Rand_Bot20

    So when is mike and Susan gonna get off the mountain? They could you Rich as a sled maybe

  • Back doors?

  • Well, Ed Norton was like an animal in bed.

  • Fartastic

    The Revenant would be better if Hulk Hogan played the bear.

  • So, is this like a Hobbit prequel? How Beorn met his wife?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    …..who?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “What are you a goddamn Nazi or something? Is that elf yours?!”
    -Grizzly Adams

  • Blade Runner 2 starts production later this year. Sicario director to take the helm and Ryan Gossling is still confirmed to co-star with Harrison ‘Part Time’ Ford. I think while it’s completely unecessary, there’s a chance it’ll be good. http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/denis-villeneuves-blade-runner-2-starring-ryan-gosling-harrison-ford-officially-starts-filming-in-july-20160125

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “I love ya, Matt, but you’re an idiot. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you”
    -Ben Affleck

  • He changes into a bear so that it isn’t considered zoophilia.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But do we see his ball sack, maggit?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Do you know who also turns into a bear?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qazTwX4BXkA

  • Whose? Ford’s? I bet it’s so saggy it falls down to his knees.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ford is going to be eating tuna the whole movie.

  • That’s some seamless editing

  • Well, the biggest downside is that it spoils the ambiguity of the ending of the original. It would have been perfectly acceptable to make an unnecessary sequel (spin-off, really) without any of the characters from the original. Instead, we get the JJ Abrams way.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Governments don’t dare to take me down”
    -Rick Deckard

  • In urethra?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Speaking of no subtance Jean Luc Goddard has George Lucas syndrome so bad it’s worse than George Lucas’s!

  • Is that even possible?

  • Oh read the book, you’ll know then.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well if you are an overrated hack filmmaker snob who makes pure nonsense thinking it’s art it is possible.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The disturbing thing is in the silmarillion it says that Beorn later ‘took’ a wife.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Best Nirvana album ever.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    In honor of Australia day and my country’s long and proud history… I got drunk and ate heaps of meat… Everyone have a beer, its australia day.
    NO FOSTERS ALLOWED!

  • Tapeworm

    When I used to work at a move theater, I sent a middle-aged couple to see God Only Forgives instead of Into Darkness. I’ve never seen them again…

  • Fred Frink

    Heaps of protesting and theyre calling it ‘Invasion Day’. More like ‘welcome to civilization day’.
    40000 years of sweet fuck all.

  • Disturbing, arousing… where is the difference?

  • That’s what all the furries say.

  • namastebob

    Yes, this is very true. But, for some reason, the torrent of cheap bad movies seemed to taper off by the end of the 60s. Perhaps because it got too expensive to make bad movies. Now, of course, we’re getting a torrent of EXPENSIVE bad movies.

  • John Bigbootay

    Tom Hardy was Barnes from Platoon in this. He was absolutely great. Really, the only interesting thing going in the story. And yeah, the rest was Leo with one grimaced expression 95% of the time.

    Having white soldiers kill his wife and wipe out their village, the the thing with his son and the thing with that kidnapped woman….was just…jeeze, laying on a bit thick.

    A better, if less slick, movie in a similar vein is Jeremiah Johnson, imo.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dude I’m part Wurundjeri so fuck you.

  • namastebob

    Ed Fucking Helms. I’d like to stove in his face with a banjo.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    About 4-8 years in prison.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You know, if you show footage of people filming themselves manually ejaculating a horse and drinking its semen, you are just as bad as the people who filmed the footage of themselves manually ejaculating the horse and drinking its semen.

  • Race Wars, people! Everybody grab their popcorn! Wooop! Wooop! *repeated air horn sound effect*

  • Tapeworm

    Have not seen the film, really want to, but the thing about those super “tough” perfomances – yeah, like when Black Swan was a thing, a lot of what people said is how hard the training was for Portman and stuff. I don’t care, whatever works for you, but the point is portraying the character. De Niro is not great in Raging Bull BECAUSE he got in and out of shape.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I liked it.

  • Milton Dammers

    You hack frauds! When did you start stealing the Mr Plinkett intro comments from Garfield cartoons?

  • Fred Frink

    Im sorry to hear that. Reconciliation aint so hard.

  • Horse cum must taste great. I hear it’s great with pineapple.

  • It’s ridiculous how there’s immediately 2 people preteding to puke, when he’s starting to drink. It’s looks so staged. Get out, Knoxville.

  • Could be worth it.

  • Well, Portman only did the close ups (face), most of the actual dancing is done by a professional ballet dancer. I did like the film anyway, her constantly constipated look fit her character.

  • Tapeworm

    I liked it more when it was animated and called Perfect Blue.

  • Proof?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Reconcilisation is easy, stopping people being dick heads is much harder.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “All hands on Dick…” wait am I reading that right… yep it says dick… “I repeat all hands on dick.”
    RNZN 2016.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    that hurt my brain. you will be hearing from my lawyer.

  • I’m up for a class action lawsuit.

  • Tapeworm

    Ewww. Pineapple.

  • dubost

    That’s exactly the same impressions I had once I saw the film. Leonardo DiCaprio was just playing himself going through extreme misery, while Tom Hardy actually gave an incredible performance, I actually felt he was the character. And the movie looks great, but that’s it. The comparision with Boyhood is perfect. (although The Revenant is a MUCH better movie)

  • Tapeworm

    Well that’s a thing.

  • Paulus Nuns

    You mean “for not being a 4th edition D&D player”, which probably saved his soul.

  • Mila Kunis took acting steroids back the. Too bad the Wachawskis got their dirty hands on her.

  • It was probably her most ambitious role ever. A shame because it looked like she actually had some chops.

  • dextromethorphan

    You’ve finally done it. You’ve made me literally laugh out loud with the very last scene. Thank you.

  • Paulus Nuns

    So I watched this movie with the idea that after the bear attack, the bear´s soul would get into Leo and give him some kind of super will and strength, shifting his personality too. You know, like an indian legend, Ravenous style.
    Instead he jumps with his horse onto a tree.

    Also, Leo’s character likes John Woo movies apparently.

  • Yes, it was very surprising. I’ve only seen her in That 70’s Show, Max Payne (5 minutes til I turned it off) and American Psycho 2 starring Mr. Shatner.

    I’m thinking the lady deserves more. And hurry up. Pushing those late 30 numbers.

    #PlentyOfWitchRoles

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I fucking love Ravenous. strangely a lot of people dont, they suck.

  • Paulus Nuns

    It’s a very strange movie though, I laughed a couple of times. But the idea is very good.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    man new x-files suck huh?

  • smallaustralian

    Embarrassing as it is, you’ve got to admit, Josh Brolin was pretty on the ball in Men in Black 3

  • Earth

    I saw the trailer. It had Leo with a beard in it.

    I might see it just to see the visuals and Tom Hardy, but Leo is a showstopper for me.

  • John Bigbootay

    That’s one of my favorite movies. Very quirky and original. Amazing score too.

  • Earth

    He looks like a kid wearing a fake beard.

  • It’s an old fat guy joke. You know a fat uncle tells that joke at gettogeathers with relatives but is in secretly ashamed of his weight. Then he dies of massive heart failure and falls over and crushes little five year old Timmy. At this point the dad says “thank God Timmy had a five million dollar life insurance” and all of the relatives cheer. Timmy lets everyone know that he’s still a live. And then mommy punches dad in the face and everyone laughs. Timmy grows up to be a well known american actor that gets mauled by a bear. The crew thought it was CGI but it was not. He dies on set while everyone is at awe of the special effects, laughing and celebrating.

    -BASED ON A TRUE STORY-

  • Earth

    It Follows should’ve been nominated for Best Original Score. I haven’t even seen the movie and I listen to the soundtrack.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    So, what DID you think of Star Wars?

  • Welcome Back Otter

    And more advertising to sell it.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    By showstopper, you mean you’ll applaud his acting so loudly during the film they’ll have to pause it?

  • Tapeworm

    Well, what you need to listen to is all the Dario Argento and Lucio Fulci stuff, especially anytime Goblin were working with them.

    Also Phantasm..

  • Earth

    I couldn’t think of another phrase. Umm…off-putting?

    Whatever. Yes, I love Leo. I loved his performance in Critters 3.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    I’m not sure they were saying Jackass was bad, just that it’s not the sort of thing that wins Oscars.

  • Earth

    Zombi 2’s soundtrack is awesome.

    Apart from It Follows I can’t think of a horror movie soundtrack that I’ve liked since 28 Days Later. I’m sure I’m forgetting something.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Preach it.

  • Strong_Bow

    My father exclusively watches movies up until about ’65 and I grew up watching basically all B & W. I was trying to convey this in the conversation, but, you know, Wikipedia.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Many people have espoused the theory that H8TEFUL is about violent men “nation-building” America. Personally, in the case of H8TEFUL, I find that theory silly, but it’s not mine, and who am I to argue? However, that theme is symbolized in every, single shot in THE REVENANT. You couldn’t miss it unless you were Mikenjay.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Then again, he could’ve said, “Viggo Mortensen was snubbed for an Oscar nominah? What? I’m outraged! Hashtag Oscars So White They Even Racist Against White People, Know What I’m Saying?”

  • Strong_Bow

    Is your roommate Judd Apatow before he turned into a big pussy?

  • Strong_Bow

    I saw a dog, with the biggest boner today…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Things You Can’t Unsee

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    There IS a kid named Timmy who has a fat uncle.
    The rest is dramatic license.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Wait. What? You didn’t see TED?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Old people are funny.

  • Toughened your nipples, didn’t it?

  • Evertale

    Tom cooked his meat, because he was smarty. Leo didn’t because he was… Hardy, ironically.

  • Evertale

    He’s the back door mayor

  • Evertale

    Here’s the tag-line for your next movie:

    Lightning doesn’t strike – it pounces!

  • Strong_Bow

    I wish I had a red rocket…

  • Evertale

    Well, he HAS gotten slightly older… like we all have.

  • Percy Gryce

    You’re telling me–I’m 145 years old.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    lipstick!

  • Jon

    Good review, and great cameo by Rich

  • Palpatine

    Am I the only one who thinks Leo DiCaprio is actually a good actor?

  • Mikkel Rasmussen

    That closing scene with Rich is genius.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yes.

  • netcrave

    No, he couldn’t have said this. 😀

  • Palpatine

    Both.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Tuesday!

  • Jason Ross

    #OscarsSoWhiteandbyWhiteWeMeanJewish

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    No.

  • pete smith

    What’s so bad about solid entertainment for whole family?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The Oscars are frivolous and meaningless. That’s why we should use The Oscars to address racism. OKa-aaaay?

    Every cultural award ever awarded snubbed somebody or thing more worthy. Every time. Every category. All of history.

    And, institutional racism exists.

    Both things.

    And Spike Lee is still something of an asshole. So am I. I’m not positive, but I think you might be, too. Not you-you, Jason. Just whoever.

    That’s five things.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Question is, when can we fuck off the box on every form asking “are you an aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander”? Because at this point, it feels like they (govt and white knights high) are trying to create a segregation rather than a unification. Also, I had a barbie, a few tinnies and finished the evening with Hateful 8 in Gold Class.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Something about poetry comes to mind… Ah yes, it’s gonna be great, for you see, it was stylistically designed to be that way.

  • Quotidian, Man

    That Johnny Knoxville clip was horrifying. How did Mike not vomit editing that in? I had no idea that existed; innocence shattered.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    You rang?

  • RLMkeepitup

    well I haven’t seen anyone say he was bad

  • RLMkeepitup

    theres a difference between being a jackass and just being gross that the producers seem to got foggy on

  • I think he’s good. He does not elevate the material. He does good acting. But I agree with M&J that he’s not brilliant and he gets to much praise.

  • The Revenant could have used more creeps for Huge Glass to mow down with his WW2 machine gun. Maybe this will happen in the reboot 10 years from now.

  • TheManHole

    He is one of those actors that no matter what role he is playing I just see Leo. It’s like Arnold, Tom Cruse, or George Clooney. Not to say they are bad actors just no mater what the role I just see the actor behind the preference.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    No, I like him just fine. But I do think he’s never had an Oscar-worthy performance. Whenever he’s been nominated, I think someone else in the same category has been more deserving than Leo. But he’s good. He’s certainly never ruined a film for me, other than “J. Edgar.” I genuinely believe he was atrocious in that film.

  • Tapeworm

    A lot of that was the bad zombie make-up

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Nah, not for me. The voice he put on was terrible. Took me out of every scene.

  • Tapeworm

    I like a lot of movies with him and there are some perfomances that I am in awe of, but he has to really go against type, like in Gilbert Grape. Usually it just seems like he tries a lot, but you can see that he’s trying, it’s not that seemles thing you get with some other actors.

  • Ogrot

    Pretty much this. Not an actor. A movie star. Has limited range of character, and depth. Meanwhile people like Tom Hardy and Daniel Day Lewis have a lot of subtlety and depth to their performance. A good actor is essentially a chameleon of sorts. A good movie star is, “hey there’s that guy I like.”

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    The world needs another horror/sci-fi movie show hosted by some fun character. Be it in the style of Up All Night, Elvira, Joe Bobb, etc. I

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Lifetime Achievement Award to Carol Burnett.

    #LifetimeAchievementAwardSoRacist
    #WhyYouBotheringUsWithAllTheseOdPeople?

  • Frank Lovejoy

    “Institutional racism exists”

    Sure it does.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Am I the only one not fooled by Tom Hardy’s “stare real hard and use a funny voice” school of ‘acting’?

  • TheManHole

    Yes.

  • Jimbocop

    The bear in THE EDGE (Alec Baldwin movie) is so much better. Should do a double bill with this movie!

  • Tapeworm

    I think of it as an Anthony Hopkins movie.

    “Bart the Bear, a trained Kodiak bear known for appearances in several Hollywood movies, also appears in the film as a vicious grizzly; this was one of his last film roles.”

    Now that’s kinda sad.

  • Tapeworm

    Finally, the Chosen One!

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Hey, what great modern societies did the Wurundjeri build? We’ll wait.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    “Hey doc, how’s my checkup?”
    “Well, you’re fine, there’s no need for this, but we’re going to open you up and shuffle your organs around.”
    “That sounds like a pointless and wasteful exercise.”
    “Yeah, but it could turn out okay. And I make some money!”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No he is. A lot of people unfairly put him on a high pedestal with like Daniel Day Lewis which annoys me. For me he’s only given like four great performances among many good ones.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    How ridiculous is it that Mike didn’t see it was a CGI bear?

    Besides it being clearly CGI, the best part was when they cut away and cut back to the prop bear, and it was a completely different shade and texture than the CGI model.

    Makes you really appreciate a crap film like “Mars Attacks!” for so closely matching the real-world stuff to the CGI.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Combating racism through the Oscars (and by ‘combating’ I mean posting a throwaway Facebook status about it) is really doing a lot to change the racial discourse.

  • RLMkeepitup

    or jurassic park a few years earlier

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Am I the only one who enjoys Mars Attacks just a bit?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Nope!

  • Frank Lovejoy

    I didn’t hate it, but I think it’s one of those Tim Horton movies where you really have to be a Tim Horton fan to love it. Me, I just like his coffee.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Well, I kind of hate some of Tim Burton’s other films so I’m not a hardcore fan. It’s just that Mars Attacks, in my opinion, is just an “okay” movie, with some good moments in it.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m with Jack Nicholson when it comes to Marsk Attacks!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I like Max Landis. He grew up reading the same idiot comics that I did. That makes us friends.

    But I could pinch his right nipple for the rise of “Mary Sue,” a term I hadn’t heard in ages and now every one seems to be using as if they’ve been using it for years.

    God damnit, Max. Just shut up and go write Victor Wolfenstein 4.

  • TheManHole

    Ha! If spider man as taught me anything it’s you don’t need to even wait until you reboot a series.

  • Tapeworm

    You know how Abe Vigoda was still alive? Yeah, well, he isn’t.

  • Tapeworm

    So the biggest Sundance buzz is around The Birth of a Nation (nice) about the Nat Turner slave revolt. It looks cool, but I smell so many idiot comments from so many directions.

  • I love it.

  • Tapeworm

    Oh and Woody Allen is doing a show with Miley Cyrus (bit too old if you ask me) and…Elaine May.

  • Boose Rolton

    I thought it was pretty realistic. He was on the edge of starvation so he didn’t really want to wait politely for the guy to cook the liver for him.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    some of his performances are a bit shitty like you described but this movie was not the case. He out-acted every single person at any given scene here.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I thought he was atrocious in Gangs of New York.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ofc you are. in a word of 6 billion people all of us are unique little snowflakes with nothing but unique thoughts and feelings!

  • And not a teeny bit of sarcasm was found in this sentence.

  • He’s not terrible, I’ll give him that. The problem is that you just know it’s Leo and you never forget that during the movie.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Oof, completely forgot about that one. But at least Daniel Day Lewis was there.

  • Charon

    Mike, you’re so fucking white. It’s pronounced “EEn-ya-REE-too”.

  • Palpatine

    Uh, seven billion people actually.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Totally. And the other guy’s name is “Domino Harvey” I mean shit get it right.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That only makes it worse like here with The Revenant and Hardy stealing every scene he’s in. The contrast between an honest ‘character’ actor doing his job and leo overracting to hell and back is so stark you might think scorsese and innaritu stylistically designed it to be that way.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    well there you go!

  • Palpatine

    R.I.P. Abe Vigoda.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    It might make it worse for Leo, but not for me as a viewer. I’d much rather have actors like Hardy or Lewis stealing the show instead of everyone getting out of Leo’s way while he talks in a crappy accent.

  • Palpatine

    I hope my question didn’t bother you or anything.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    what is Blue Ruin to Jay? I honestly forgot.

  • namastebob

    But not you, right? You’re going to be progressive and mature, a lesson to us all.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    not the first time nor the last.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Nothing livens up a funeral like an erect penis. http://i.imgur.com/ntZsU7H.jpg

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Ohh sick burn on Landis you guys. But at least he didn’t sucked Disney’s cock. 4am first impressions about TFA being the best thing since boyhood jeezus h. christ almighty

    #where were you when RLM sold out?

    #back to 9/11

  • Palpatine

    My childhood is now dead.

  • Probably dust in the wind. Or never existed. Or do you mean Kanye?

  • Palpatine
  • dollar store cashier wife

    Vote Kanye 2020.

    #yeezus season is approaching

  • So, this is what the bible meant by the second coming of Jesus?

  • You’re welcome?

  • Palpatine

    I was a Lego fan as a kid.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Paulus Nuns

    More like “een-YA-ree-too”. That little penis above words is an accent. Btw I give you 15 to 20 years before you all start using the almighty Ñ.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    just you wait. mike will watch and recommend The Conjuring 2 on HiTB. Book it.

  • Palpatine

    But I guess it doesn’t really matter. You didn’t ruin my childhood, George Lucas polio did.

  • So was I. I especially enjoyed their own sets, not the shit based on movie franchises. If I wanted something based on a movie I just would build it. I even once made a mech out of a lego bathesphere. It was supposed to be suped up powerloader to fight Xenomorphs. Good times.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I see it less as a burn on Landis and more a burn on everyone who pretends that they’ve been saying “Mary Sue” since before he tweeted it. I think that was just a little wink to a guy they quite like.

    *Mickey holds two Winchester rifles to each of my balls*

    I MEAN MAX LANDIS CAN STICK HIS HEAD IN A VAT OF HOT CANOLA OIL.

  • Paulus Nuns

    So is Tom Hardy’s accent in this movie like texan or something? Rural south?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    It’s an amalgamation of Boss Hogg and Rosco.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Oh now it’s all clear to me.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Apparently it’s one of his favorite films so far this decade.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Even though I don’t watch it and try to distance myself from it as far as possible Mary Sue is a very common critism in that crap known as anime.

  • Palpatine

    I first heard the term from My Immortal, the amazing Harry Potter fan-fiction.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I never got that far with anime. I was too busy wondering why everyone was crying.

  • Palpatine

    I watched Pokemon as a kid. Does that count?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I think it counts at least as much as Dragon Ball Z does.

  • Jason Ross

    Oh no, I am, in fact, a huge asshole most of the time.

  • NicCagesHair

    The Mouse doesn’t threaten your balls. The Mouse rips them off, shows them to you and then says “Don’t fucking do it again.”

  • Lt Hurwitz

    You want a good revenge movie watch Bound to Vengeance on Netflix, I put it on as a typical women in peril genre schlock movie, but it was actually surprisingly good.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Has Leo ever given a very good performance? I’d say “Gilbert Grape” was by far his best.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    No no, not for me.

    When TFA review came out, Mickey offered me an opulent Upper West Side penthouse suite in exchange for coming in here and saying I liked the film.

    The only condition is that when I come in here to comment, Mickey holds an 1873 Winchester Rifle to my balls.

  • I can only watch Dragon Ball Z in “Abridged” form.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Just because you impregnated spirituality with your evil and produced Leo overflowing with midichlorines, doesn’t mean he’s a good actor.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I mentioned this earlier, but I really liked him in “Django Unchained.” He was a lot of fun in that movie and had some great interactions with each character.

    I also really liked him in the “Wolf of Wall Street,” mainly because he didn’t have to put on a dumb accent.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    I haven’t seen Django, to be honest after sitting through Kill Bill 1&2 I realized I’ve had enough of Tarantino. Wolf worked because it was a riff on his own personality.

    Someone mentioned down thread, about him looking like a little kid, he always does to me.

  • NicCagesHair

    I think he was great in both of those movies.In Django he’s that perfect silly Tarantino villain that also pulls of the serious parts well.

  • NicCagesHair

    Must have been a real bummer to finally update these pages.
    https://twitter.com/AbeVigodaUpdate
    http://www.abevigoda.com/

  • Speaking of Disney, there’s a lot of nudity in those Mickey shorts… (haha)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNdhDq-DF8k

  • Like Icare

    Whoa! Death finally caught up with him? Damn!
    This January is really out to use up the entire dying quota for this year.

  • Fuck You, It’s DEATH!

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    “LOVE ME! LOVE ME!”

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Is Mike up for an Oscar?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its stupid. if you tick yes and claim benefits from the government because of Aboriginality the government is not legally allowed to question it because thats discrimination.
    H8, good call.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Feel free to stop being an ignorant racist. and we wont wait. SJW Police are coming to take you to a camp for…. reeducation…

  • Like Icare

    I’d go with Aviator and Departed.

    He gets to do a lot in Aviator, essentially playing several characters – while maintaining the core obsessiveness and the anxiety of the character present throughout.
    Similarly, he does anxious and on the edge very well in Departed too.
    Both those movies also have him play up the vulnerability of the character.
    Basically, if he gets a role where he can be allowed to overact while making an emotional connection with the audience… he does well.

    Subtle… He can’t do subtle. Hell, sometimes he can’t do acting.
    Like in that scene in Inception… School play quality acting, right there.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=H1Dyp3jexA0#t=182

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Agree. it showed me that he has a bit more range than I thought. I’d like to see him try some funnier, more comedic characters here and there instead of always doing serious drama. I think Django showed that he’d be pretty good at it.

  • NicCagesHair

    I think the quaalude scene alone from Wolf proves that with the right people behind him he can land almost anything.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    He was fine in the Aviator, I think young rich playboy is easy for him, but Blanchet blew him off the screen. The Departed, again he seemed like a little kid running around playing cops and robbers, if he made a gun with his hand and did the “pew pew” noise I wouldn’t have flinched.

  • NicCagesHair

    So Tarantino wrote a comic-book sequel to Django where he teams up with Zorro? I think I finally found something Tarantino has done I have absolutely no interest in:
    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/160690759X?redirect=true&ref_=s9_simh_gw_g14_i3_r

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I thought he was fine in The Departed.

    Definitely better than Martin Sheen.

    “DEW YEW WANNA BE A CAWP, AWH DEW YEW WANNAH APPEEAH TO BE A CAWP?”

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    I just realized this isn’t even RLM’s first Rich being raped by a bear joke… [Dick the birthday boy]

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They both sucked. I’m constantly amazed at American actors inability to do accents. even just regional American accents.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I think it’s a thing with actors in a general sense. There’s some pretty egregious cases of British actors doing shitty American accents.

    Emma Watson in “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”

    Carey Mulligan in “Inside Llewyn Davis”

    Woof.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Mich and susan have been raped a few times.
    https://youtu.be/miwOmyvBqF4?t=76

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    thanks for the fodder.

  • TheManHole

    Well that can’t be unseen.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Ha! Rape jokes, I love ’em!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Critters 3.

  • Earth

    Leo’s appearance was perfect for Howard Hughes. It’s a pity his voice wasn’t.

  • Earth

    The writing in that show is vastly superior to the original.

  • RLMkeepitup

    so that’s whats eating poor gilbert

  • Paul S.

    lol
    i bet they were just hoping a quick “whatever its not terrible” would keep people from demanding a 12 year long Plinkett review dissecting TFA. Because really they’ve said everything that has ever needed to be said about star wars in their reviews already. Now they can just treat star wars like normal films.

  • Ogrot

    Non Bostonians have a tendency to just channel Mayor Quimby when they try to do the Massachusetts inner city dialect (aka The Boston Accent). While once in awhile you will run across someone that sounds like Mayor Quimby that isn’t really the norm for the accent. Authentically it has similar sounds to the Mayor Quimby shtick, but a lazier feel in mannerisms like the New York accent.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Quimby is just a pot smoking JFK.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Changing the subjective already, despite of my overall enjoyment of the first season of Netflix’s Daredevil which I watched throughout the entire week, am I the only one who don’t think it isn’t that great and the direction is kind of… boring. Like the shots, especially with dialogues, are very dull.

  • Thanatos2k

    Jay, those elderly people don’t have a lot of time left, wasting 2 hours is a big deal to them.

  • Chris Sunshine Campbell

    Yeah you hacks, a man with a torn esophagus (but lol it healed! yeah, the outside) and who hasn’t eaten for days definitely wouldn’t choke on raw meat. It’s inconceivable! That’s the same thing as drinking horse semen on jackass.

    fite me irl

  • Frank Lovejoy

    The fact that you think this is racism is why you fail.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    I think that’s kind of the thing, right? The bar was pretty low. I don’t actually think he was bad, he was just obviously ACTING. There’s a difference between acting and ACTING.

  • Martin Brody

    I concur. Only portrayal of a mentally disabled person I can stomach. Except The Other Sister, that shit’s on point.

  • calebdurward

    I actually just finished that thing. It’s sweet, definitely one of my favorite crossovers. Zorro is Zorro, Django kills a lot of people, and the villain has kind of an evil count of monte cristo thing going on.

  • Martin Brody

    But, who was it, Pontius? Actually DRANK horse semen. For a laugh (and a smallish paycheck) not an Academy Award.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    So, should I see Norm of the North or not?

  • bleurgh

    Finally saw the Hateful 8. It was a little flawed, but still great. Exactly what I expect from a Tarrantino movie. I’d put it right in the middle of all of his films if I were to rank them. It had a lot of Tarrantino tropes. The opening was a lot like the opening scene to Django Unchained. The rest of the film in the cabin is basically a feature length version of the cabin and / or bunker scene in Inglorious Basterds, mixed with the premise Reservoir Dogs. I can see why he only wants to make two more films. He’s getting pretty close to becoming repetetive. I enjoyed it though.

  • calebdurward

    Strongly agree with Django, but while I also enjoyed Wolf of Wall Street I wouldn’t call it special for Leo. Would add Shutter Island, Revolutionary Road, and Catch me if you Can to the list of top Leo performances.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This one.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Abe Vigoda is actually dead this time guy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    YouTube comments in a nutshell. Except J Wizard’s comments.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Nice try, he’s still alive.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ironically complaining about the Oscars being so “white” is the whitest thing imaginable.

  • Logan

    The only good thing about that movie is that Samuel L Jackson gets his nuts blown off.

  • Logan

    Isn’t Zorro a Spanish aristocrat? Why would he team up with Django?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    DO NOT!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Feel free to explain how it isnt, I’ll enjoy watching you fail.

  • grunky_peep

    I knew something was up with Halle Barry.

  • So that’s why my brain hurts so much watching these. It’s shlock connected to more shlock forming a cluster of schlock.

  • He’s just pulling one last big prank.

  • NO! What are you nuts?!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I hope I die pulling a huge wank… wait, what did you say?

  • Catch Me If You Can works.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Der Cluster Scheiße

  • Exellent Boston accent. They ewen writes thata ways. Can’ts undestanz odawayz.

  • Lay off the fire water chief.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Make sure to make for your brain and not the back of your throat.

  • I thought Oscars were gold.

  • Do it. It has a polar bear rape in it. I rank it up there with Babeheart.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_54h0l_4u8w

  • Oh God. I don’t have the strength.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I found a frog today with golden eyes.

  • Speaking of connected movies, I am now very convinced that What About Bob? is a sequel to Groundhog Day. Why?

    Well, after spending about ten-thousand years in limbo thereabouts, learning various skills and people, Phil would probably have a mental breakdown shortly after coming out of the timeloop. In What About Bob it’s mentioned that he’s divorced. The reason he divorced her was because “she liked Neil Diamond.” I think this person he’s referring to is Rita. Now, a person who’s spent the past ten thousand odd years knowing every last detail about someone and able to fix whatever they mess up on is going to have a real hard time dealing with no redoes. I think upon finding out she liked Neil Diamond, Phil probably laughed at her or made her feel like shit about it. IT MAY SEEM TRIVIAL, but this was just a reference to probably many times when something like that happened, that he CANNOT REDO because he’s no longer in a time loop. Eventually she couldn’t take it anymore, or he couldn’t. It’s not clear.

    His paranoia of germs (remember, being stuck in the time loop he had no worries of illness, diseases, or even death), paranoia of new place (being stuck in one spot for tenthousand odd years), paranoia of trying new things, all come from his condition of living in the time loop.

    Now, you might say, “Well, Rick, he would’ve been super smart wouldn’t he? Bob was kinda a dumbass.”

    AU CONTRAIRE. He’s a genius in What About Bob. He finds out where his therapist is via very clever manipulation, reads a book in like twelve hours, knows heimlich manouver, and even gives medical advice to another psychiatrist as if he knows what he’s talking about. I think there were a few other “smart” moments too, but I’m kinda wasted right now so it’s hard to remember.

    What am I doing again? Oh yeah, I have insomnia. So I come here and dump words. What About Bob is a sequel to Groundhog Day ###hashtrag

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    wow… hope you get some sleep.
    you need it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SqFPNTBnv8

  • Bubs

    Kill me!! Wow!

  • Tapeworm

    Yes

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    The sound mixing was all messed up when that Pawnee guy was talking. It seemed like his voice was dubbed (pretty sure it was) and then that they used rising music every time he spoke to try and hide the fact that it was dubbed, but it only made it sound worse.

  • Whoa, it’s 4:20! Drink!

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    he ate a raw fish in the scene right before it and he didn’t choke then. raw meat doesn’t taste that bad, especially that fresh.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    Raw meat doesn’t taste that bad, especially fresh. Especially if you’re starving. It’s still a good idea to cook it, but there’s no reason a regular meat-eater would have that reaction.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Only a psychopath who eats his cat says that.

  • Tapeworm

    Alex Jones needs to see this

  • Moke

    “der Cluster” but “die Cluster Scheiße” because “die” (spoken as “dee”) is related to Scheiße in this example what is a feminine noun in german.

  • Moke

    I had these blocks made out of wood. Built temples and towers with them. Loved it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah but I didnt want to seem sexist.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’ll smoke to that.

  • Applaud this man!

  • You failed the test, Herr Andrew.

  • I’ll drink coffee to that.

  • I know what timezone you’re in now. I think we might be neighbours.

  • Seymour

    Updated imdb.com about Hulk Hogan’s Oscar. Apparently they didn’t get the memo in 25 years!

    Which reminds me: 25th Anniversary for ‘Suburban Commando’!

  • Like Icare

    Does that make it Asian?

  • Like Icare

    You know where this is going, right?

    This will be the “proof” of how deep and well thought out Adam Sandler movies are.
    Because they rhyme. In a ring. Which connects and binds it all.

  • Like Icare

    Intestinal parasites.

  • Like Icare

    Beauty and the Beast is closer to 4025.

    http://rsos.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/3/1/150645

  • Like Icare

    Makes sense… apart from the “cannot redo” bit. He can. He just chooses not to use his powers any longer.

    It may not be obvious right away, but Groundhog’s Day is actually a sequel to The Razor’s Edge.
    Where Larry reaches enlightenment, becomes Buddha, but ultimately rejects nirvana and chooses to remain among the mortals by forgetting that he is a Buddha, while trying to purge the world of evil, as seen in the Ghostbusters, which is ultimately shown to be a pointless task as evil is a part of the world too.
    So, he further drowns himself in Samsara, causing the world to send him the three messengers to wake him from his dream, as seen in Scrooged.
    As they ultimately fail, the world closes him out in a bubble, not unlike a cyst, until he finds himself again through endless cycles of death and rebirth.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I read somewhere (I think an interview on AV Club) that it’s supposed to be an Alabama accent. Wha? The interview, a Southerner, insisted he nailed it, but I think that’s just ’cause he wanted to you-know Tom Hardy’s you-know.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    But Star wars aren’t normal films! Star Wars are like the greatest things, ever! They’re the reason we go to the movies! They’re events! They change the game! They’re everything good about childhood and never, never, ever-never giving it up!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “Hehe. Look at this guy, Pluto. Thinks he can do whatever he wants with his own balls. Well, we’ll show him, right boy? Hey Donald, c’mere a second.”
    “BAW bwish bwish bwaugh bockka bokka balls.”
    (This little bit is only funny if you can do the voices, and even then not so much.)

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    And, why the “speed lines” are animated, but the characters are still.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    ♪ All we are is dust in the wind.
    Dust in the wind.
    dust in the wind. ♪

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Raped by a Lego > Raped by a bear

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Why didn’t they just call it “The Confessions of Nat Turner”? Why associate it with that “other” THE BIRTH OF A NATION?

    By the way, The Confessions of Nat Turner is one of my favorite books. It was written by a white guy, though, so I’m not sure if I should like it so much. Because, #LiteratureSoRacist. Anyway, looking forward to the movie and all the Academy Awards it’s bound to rake in.

    (How’d this comment rate on the idiot scale, Tapey? I was going for a 7, but I think I only managed a 4 at best.)

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Downoted for unwarranted sarcasm.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    OK, whitey.

  • Tapeworm

    It’s aight. Of course, the movie will never be as good as the new Ben Hur we’re getting this year….

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    That whole movie was atrocious, though. It’s hard to pick one the-most atrocious thing.

  • *yawn*

  • Suburban Commando is the most important film in cinema history.

  • Hey, why don’t make yourself a nice cup of coffee?

  • RLMkeepitup

    I don’t see any legit write ups about space cop so here’s somethin. In short it’s quite good, and almost a solid B movie. By no means is that a negative, as I really enjoy B movies. The work they did on casting and sets really pays off and adds surprising credibility to the film, which also makes it more charming given its limitations. The writing at times is also both creative and good. Overall it’s entertaining enough to pull out and watch with friends who haven’t heard of it or RLM. The audio commentary hints at all the thought that went into the movie, and also the work load the guys put in.. you can sense why the movie took so long to finish. The first 15 minutes or so of the movie are particularly cool, with miniatures, practical effects, and canadian CG on show and never held on screen too long. The lighting is good throughout the movie and there’s cinematography and framing, even some dolly work. There’s little winks to best of the worst films and set pieces from half in the bag etc. The movie feels like a real effort to make a real film, and it comes very close, particularly in those first 15-20 minutes. So what can I say bad about it? well, the comedy both makes me laugh and sometimes tilt my head lol. Mostly it lingers quite a bit on its jokes with Mike waiting for a badumtis and I think he’d get it more if it didn’t linger quite as long. Sometimes it still works though. I’d also have liked Mike’s voice to be more subdued and his character have more weight. The light voice sometimes doesn’t fit with the heavier jokes. Intentional comedy is a hard thing, and his character jokes are too written to be unintentionally funny, thus we hit a middle ground. I think if Mike n Jay on their next project are given the time to focus on script and thematics of their movie, the good aspects in their work on space cop could lead to great things. So that’s a short run down.. I’m happy with my purchase. Now, go burn more dvds you frauds!

  • Spoiled Ants

    In the 80’s we didn’t call it ‘rhyme’ but what it was:
    shoddy and lazy writing.

  • Spoiled Ants

    maybe the Indian served him the bladder.

  • Just mail me the login data for your private FTP, okay?

  • Spoiled Ants

    I think Tom Hardy should play less gruff types (like in Locke), but he definitely knocked it out of the park in this movie.

  • Spoiled Ants

    That’s why he needs to compensate with this Jackass antics.

  • Spoiled Ants

    This ain’t Highlander.
    Although it wouldn’t hurt the movie to put in more lightsaber fights.

  • Why don’t you start first? We need it!

  • Go away! No spoilers! *shoves forks in eyes*

  • Spoiled Ants

    Me too.
    Better edited. Better score. Better everything.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why is this funny? I’m pretty sure pointing out the obvious and stealing jokes from basically everyone isn’t funny.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pFbxLKhRPM

  • Tapeworm

    It is to 13 year olds.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Heroine.
    Can’t you see it in his eyes?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    or people with the same emotional maturity as them. tobuscus is same as pewpleasediesoonpie-cancerous content to anyone who doesn’t fall into the intented demographic.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But why is this supposed to be funny?

  • Haha! Best vdi evr! woooooooo!

  • Tapeworm

    Who whoa, don’t dismiss ALL adults emotionally mature as a 13 year old. Just sayin….

  • dollar store cashier wife

    LIKED,SUBSCRIBED,AND FAVORITED! XD <3 😉 XOXO

  • Tapeworm

    ur fag

  • Wizard Phoenix

    margo robi is hawt.

  • PLX subscribe to my channel i mak beauty vidz and all my gurls already subcribe they like it so plx lik it too if lik LOLOL

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I loled.

  • and gai!

  • Tapeworm

    I think the lack of proper reviews is kinda due to the inherent bias to people who ordered it (purely fans)

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • RLM fans are worse than prequel lovers.

  • Tapeworm

    Buncha biches.

  • Karaoke? That’s for NERDS!

  • One night in Plinkett’s basement and they’ll cry like little gurlz!

  • Tapeworm

    HA! We cool, bro. We cool.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    I wanted Tom Hanks to shoot him so badly in that movie, annoying spoiled brat is natural to Leo as well.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Did you just make a joke about Mike’s weight? #BodyShaming

  • Tapeworm

    But back to Star Wars. I find this rather charming.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bQxR7-twxk

  • Like Icare

    It’s tarded.

  • “This is retarded.” -John Williams on the Ewok language

    -BASED ON A TRUE STORY-

  • Tapeworm

    I’ll chuck puck tack you, you nub nuck!

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Good point. Allow me to amend: institutional racism DOES exist, but generally only in the minds of people who claim it. They’re the most racist people on Earth.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You are aware that culture is not race, right?

  • Like Icare

    It’s like…

    There’s that thing where someone will point out, in someone else’s (or their own) actions or ideas, glaring flaws that are otherwise unseen.
    Once those flaws are pointed out, they become obvious while the actions or ideas are shown to be ridiculous and everyone gets a boost of happy chems in their brains for learning something without personally suffering the pain of error.

    Then there’s that thing where someone will point out a flaw in someone’s appearance, status, class etc.
    Those oblivious to inherent negative penalties of ad hominem or perfectly happy with being a bully get a boost of happy chems and an ego boost for being better off than the object of their ridicule. Also, because they are cunts.

    Then there’s that thing where someone will take a situation and splice a non sequitur into it, creating confusion and a logic bomb. Those getting the flaw in logic will get a happy chem boost cause the brain will award them for quick recognition of the flaw – i.e. for relieving it from the task of either figuring out the sudden break in the logic or going insane.

    Then there’s that thing where instead of a lesson, ridicule or an outright break in logic – someone will present the audience with a reference.
    Recollection being one of the primary functions of our brains, we may not think that it deserves patting ourselves on the back – but our brain does.
    So we get happy chems from that too.
    It’s not a joke, but it fits a pattern of a break in logic.

    And then there’s that video above…
    Which mostly fits a pattern of ridicule… peppered with a simple reference or two…
    So if you’re not very bright OR if you are very drunk… or easily amused… you’ll get happy chems in your brain.
    Otherwise, it feels more like a fork.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Because this is the world we’ve made.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Ugh.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “So, we are going to make these little savages in loincloths speak Swahili”

    That’s so typical 1970s era racist. It’s 2016, everyone!

  • Malevolence

    Not going to watch it just because I know Will Smith will take 50 percent of the screen time and be maskless 80 percent of the time because he’s an egotistical fuck

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Did someone say “DVDs”?

    Oh, and thanks for the review.

  • Spoiled Ants

    That’s his best performance, hands down:

    https://youtu.be/Q3kTzDWPik4?t=137

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    She was cute on Community and in Bad Milo.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You must be eating too much of it at a time. Makes your mouth tingly and tongue sore. I should know, I’ve eaten whole pineapples in one go sometimes.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Watching 1988’s “Spellbinder” featuring Superman, Shang Tsung, The Evil Fat Other guy from Lost, and a smoking hot Kelly Preston before Travolta ruined her by cheating on her with other men. I miss 80’s horror movies.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    If Len Kabasinski and Charles Band made a less competent Trancers, devoid of fun and talent, it would be called Space Cop. 10/10 Rich Evans.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I love these kinds of comments because then I’ll know I only have twenty more comments to read.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s opening here in two days…

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Just got my physical copy of “We Are Still Here” it and “Bone Tomahawk” were some of this year’s best horror films. Did anyone see either of them?

    Also, did anyone see the follow up to “WNUF Halloween Special”, “Call Girl of Cthulhu” or get the WNUF audio prequel thing?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Speaking of movies that are pretty but pointless…The Assassin, Sight & Sound’s Best Movie of 2015 and winner of awards at last year’s Cannes Film Festival.

    If you like your wuxia fight scenes to all end with opponents calmly walking away from each other, paced between glacial photography of lovely scenery and entire interior conversations filmed behind gauze, this is your movie, baby.

    Who are these characters? What are they doing? Why am I watching this? But, golly, 9th Century China was picturesque as a fairy tale, wannint?

    ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Making a last minute decision to buy tickets to Sicario instead of The Assassin was probably the best impulse purchase I’ve made in years.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’ve seen some people refer to it as a foreign film that doesn’t pander to an international audience. The history and culture it potrays is intimate and resonant to locals but every one els will have to take an extra history course to get a coherent narrative out if at the very minimum.

  • In SW7 The Fart Awakens they use the Millennium Falcon to escape a desert planet. Where have seen this before? Poetry, rhymes? Movie looking worse and worse after everytime thinking about it.

    In Suburban Commando Shep Ramsey’s ship works as a metafor for Ramsey’s inability to slow down and find meaningful relationships. -SPOILERS- He clearly gets aggravated when he is commanded to locate a suitable planet to land his disabled ship and is forced to land on Earth. Earth is a projection of his self loathing marital guilt and sexual failures. He finds a place to live in the guest house of a spineless man named Charlie. Sheps sarcastic attitude fends of possible friendship thus denying contact with his own emotions. He eventually, out of frustration starts helping people out and the attitudes change. He is located by the movies villain eventually and now Shep and Charlie has to team up to stop him. The ship gets destroyed in the process and Shep is redeemed through self sacrifice. He even gives all credit to Charlie, who now is an awesome stud muffin who blows up streetlights with a laser weapon. Ramsey gets a new ship and even nabs a hot 90’s babe.

    God*bleep*! In SW ‘The Schmultz Awakens’ they just find the ship because of familiarity to the franchise. *bleep* you JJ!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Underwear, man? What’s that?”
    My favorite movie line ever.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Good points. But, I’ve watched many Japanese and Mandarin films which don’t cater and might be thought to be “slow” by a general western standard, and still I’ve enjoyed them and understood them. This one, as you said, lacks coherence, while the imagery, beautiful as it inarguably is, develops a kind of bland “sameness” real quickly.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s slow,it’s beautiful and it’s unintelligible to a gaijin.

    Palme D’or/ 10

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Well, that was a very 80’s Wicker Man knock off…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #OscarsSoNotHogan

  • Joe

    You read every single comment? You are very dedicated and/or crazy.

  • Joe

    Sicario wasn’t even that great, IMO.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I don’t think it was the Palm d’Or. I think the director won.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Speaking of Oscars what if ironically The Disaster Artist is nominated for an Oscar?

  • NicCagesHair

    Clicks, it all has something to do with clicks.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    20 seconds into Amazing Bulk and I already want to punch the people who made it.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    That was the one Best of the Worst episode that made me think “Ok, let’s get back to reviewing REAL movies.”

  • The Oscars is all white for whites. Hulk Hogan is very tan. He is what they call a mixed race. Like a reverse Michael Jackson. Michael drank bleach. He thought it said Coca Cola but it said Bleach -Do Not Drink-. Poor guy could not read, because Jehovas witnesses are not allowed to. They only know bible words, like rapture, atonement and whale. Hulk Hogan became nonwhite at the taningsalon and people forgot he was white and he got embarassed and continued to tan and eventually became an American African.

    -BASED ON ACTUAL EVENTS-

  • NicCagesHair

    I hope it is, it wins, and they let Tommy give all the speeches.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Then why did Hulk Hogan get in trouble for saying the n-word?

    #HulkHoganSoSelf-HatingRacist

  • -PLOT HOLE-

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That shitty Adam Sandler film when he is unrealistically married to Kate Beckinsale?

  • NicCagesHair

    Hopefully they win enough that he can rattle off all of Hamlet.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5m9b-RDBodE

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Agujero de la trama

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s me!

  • Very good senior. You must have big bigote. jJejejeje!

  • RLMkeepitup

    not only do they just happen to find it but it just happens to work and solo happens to find them shortly after. JJ makes good popcorn movies by compromise on reality a little haha

  • NicCagesHair

    That was the singular Click. This is Clicks, something so abstract that Sandler cannot even pretend to comprehend.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You think, all those people read that script, and not a single one of them raised their hand and said, “Um, Mr. Abrams, should I play this scene with a ‘how the fuck did this happen’ look on my face?”

  • RLMkeepitup

    you’d think. but then again the scenario sounds familiar to when another director had his hand on the star wheel. i’d guess the original cast had minor input either except han seemed to get his wish

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Max Von Sydow: “Yes, I’ll be in your Star War, but you have to kill me ten minutes in, because this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read.”

    Abrams: “We’ll explain your character’s back-story in the spin-off prequel.”

    Von Sydow: “Oh, God, no. I’m good.”

  • Tapeworm

    You know my opinion on SW, but regardless, let’s be honest here: Von Sydow has been in much bigger pieces of crap than that for presumably less money.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Really? I’ve only seen him in Bergman movies.

  • Tapeworm

    Oh boy, first thing that comes to mind is the Stallone Dredd movie. I had him in the box “The old dude from bad movies” in my head for a long time till Hannah and Her Sisters and discovering Bergman personally.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I’ll have to IMDb.

  • NicCagesHair

    Von Syndow doesn’t have a problem saying yes to all sorts of movies he is too good for. Flash Gordon comes to mind.

  • Tapeworm

    He was kinda perfect for that, but I also remember him in this really dumb Christopher Lambert movie and other stuff like that.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Oh man! I’d forgotten this one entirely! Yeah, that trumps THE FORCE AWAKENS.

  • Tapeworm

    Rush Hour 3?

  • Stallone Dredd is awesome.YOU BETRAYED THE LAW ADRIAN, YOU MURDER DEATH KILLER! Also he plays Ming in Flash Gordon 1980.That movie rocks. LITERALLY!

    https://youtu.be/SBe1hwg7V-M?t=1m25s

  • Tapeworm

    I think Judge Dredd is the best movie with Rob Schneider in it. Make of that what you will.

  • TheManHole

    Yeah like Ice damns, Dunken Donuts, and Dog sitter!

  • HAHAHAHA! You haven’t seen The Chosen One? What a looser! That movie is the bombdizzle. Why are my eyes bleeding?

  • Frank Lovejoy

    As I understand it, ‘bich’ is Latin for ‘generosity’. Mmkay?

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Oh shit it’s 3 a.m. Last bong load!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I’d be fine if they just did Wheel of the Worst all the time.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    I’ve made my point about thinking this movie’s a pile of crap, but I do have a few questions that maybe someone who liked it or who wasn’t so bored they drifted off can answer:

    1. At the beginning when they’re attacked (“just for the pelts!”, remember) they say that they lost something like 35 men. Then they go back to the boat that supposedly got them all there, and it’s tiny. The survivors barely fit on it. What up with that?
    2. At the same time, during the attack (remember, “just for the pelts!”), afterwards Pawnee Joe starts mumbling about his daughter missing. Did his daughter go missing during the attack? If so, how did Frenchy get her?
    3. When Pawnee Joe shows up at the French trader’s place to verbally harangue him into giving away horses – which by the way makes zero sense – is that the same guy who stole Pawnee Joe’s daughter? If so, where is she during this scene? If not, why are there two murderous French traders in this movie?
    4. Why can these great trackers not track his daughter, particularly as they wander around the camp where she’s being held?
    5. How did the Native Indians kill the people on the boat? I realize they were supposedly setting an ambush, but how does one ambush a boat in the middle of the river from the shoreline, when one only has horses and bows and arrows? Maybe they could have used fire arrows to set the boat on fire, but it doesn’t seem they did that.
    6. Why do people eat the meat right out of a dead animal when there are fires all around to cook the meat?

    I really hope for some answers. Meanwhile, I fell off my stepladder and broke both legs, so I’m going to wander around the woods for a few hours so they’ll heal more quickly!

  • Domo

    Here’s another Space Cop review, as RLMKeepitup wrote one first but is so obviously biased!!!1!!1!

    Remember how much Jay Bauman gushed about Turbo Kid, and wanted to tell 20 or so people on the internet about it through a HiTB episode? That’s how Space Cop feels to me. The movie is filled to the brim with so many RLM jokes that only RLM fans will get, and it’s wonderful. You can watch the film and go “He’s from that BoTW. She’s from that HiTB! Oooh! That guy in the strip club is from the first Phantom Menace review! I always wondered what happened to him.”

    The story is sound. Everything looks good. The acting is swell. It felt a little long, but I think it has more to do with the comedy style than the film being boring.

    There’s so much physical comedy that it’s happening before you click play movie. So much boobery! I think Mike’s humor was meant to be a slam against his character, which sometimes fell a little flat, but Space Cop totally delivers in every scene.

    All in all, I’m happy I got the moopie, and walked through some snow to get it from my mailbox. The special features alone are worth the money. So much stuff! Now, off to eat hot dogs and smoke cigarettes indoors!

  • Tapeworm

    Ah, so my wish for it being “callback jizzfest” came true, wonderful. Digital download, please!

  • Red Skeleton

    No Jay, “nobody” didn’t use the term Mary Sue until Max Landis did. Lots of people used the term Mary Sue. YOU just didn’t.

  • Tapeworm

    A lot of people with a relative called Mary Sue, for example.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    What? But over the years our referencial “humor” received nothing but contempt from them.

  • Red Skeleton

    I feel like my post is grammatically incorrect somehow but I can’t find any fault…

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    They were channeling all of the graciousness into the film. “Space Cop” has arrived as a love letter to us. Signed, sealed, and deliv- oh wait, I don’t have a Blu Ray player.

  • Palpatine

    The term actually has quite a history to it:
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue

  • Tapeworm

    I’m just trying to move away from the whole Mary Sue thing all over again, because as Henry Kissinger’s head said on Futurama: “This is not a fruitful area of discussion”

  • Tapeworm

    Long con, dude. Or pandering. Long pandering?

  • Red Skeleton

    Was that a thing? What’s wrong with it, anyway? The term, I mean, not making your character into a Mary Sue.

  • Palpatine

    It’s the ultimate insult to all fan-fiction writers.

  • Tapeworm

    It’s not about a well known literary term (btw I believe Landis actually said the worng name for it in his tweet), it’s people then coming and talking about Rey for the 100th time in that sense

  • Red Skeleton

    Hum, I didn’t know it came from Star Trek fandom, I just knew it had been around a while.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “references aren’t jokes”

    -Jay Bauman,HiTB,episode #66:FUCK YOU RLM.

  • Tapeworm

    If you take it far enough, that’s the joke, right? Us, I mean.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Star Trek reference, that’s why Jay wasn’t familiar with it.

  • Red Skeleton

    Well my two cents in the pot: I just ASSUMED Rey was going to be Luke’s daughter and was able to do all that shit through force magic or something. If NOT she’s River Tam and is some sort of science experiment that escaped. Either way I assume there’s an explanation for her ridiculous abilities.

  • The star trek fandom is also where “slash” fiction came from. Not that I ever read that……

  • Like Icare

    He wishes he was that cool.

  • Palpatine

    I’m surprised Mike didn’t know that.

  • A stepladder!

  • Like Icare

    He should have danced the osteoporosis dance to strengthen his bones up.

  • it was 4:20am if that helps

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    They didn’t use the fire to cook the meat because they were being cool about fire safety.

  • Domo

    Don’t forget Marybeth and Maryanne. Those bitches never get any credit.

  • RLMkeepitup

    it is the bias that binds us

  • Tapeworm

    And Sue Ellen. God, J.R., you gonna let her walk over ya like that?

  • bretweir

    Still laughing about some old c running into a wall…

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    “Fuck” is a bad word that you can’t say, so just use the word “M’kay.”

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    We became that which we hated.

  • We became George Lucas?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    The Blu Ray is apparently back in stock.

    Hopefully a few of those copies make it to you guys. Every time I read an IMDB review I light a pumpkin pie Yankee candle and burn myself.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    In terms of sheer weight, yes.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You are aware that doesn’t stop you looking like a bigoted fuck whit, right?

  • Tapeworm

    Just cut yourself man, those candles are expensive.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Are you f*cking kidding me? It’s Oscar season. Cutting is for wussies.

  • Bubs

    The Blu Ray? Of what? Oh… Space Cop? I already forgot about that shit.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    It’s been forgotten and it didn’t even take three months.

  • Tapeworm

    Man, I want to see Leo loading a shotgun and then pull in on his face as he cocks it, growling “It’s Oscar season.”

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    Why is “cunt” bleeped? Have they been censoring themselves this whole time and this is the first I’ve noticed, or was it just a goof, one-time thing as a gag? Anyone?

  • Tapeworm

    Behold, content within content https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-zxKUyiS64

    It’s like that Nolan film, Prestigious.

  • Are you getting paid for this post?

  • Tapeworm

    Pfft, I don’t need it, Disney pays way better.

  • Disney Dollars are only valid in Disney World, you hack.
    You got scammed, punk!

  • Tapeworm

    Prague prostitutes accept them. My friend knows that.

  • Tapeworm

    Male prostitutes. He specified for some reason

  • Must be a good friend.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Mickey’s double barrel pressing against my nutsack is evidence to the contrary.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    You’re damn f*cking right they do.

  • Just make sure they wear assless chaps, mmkay?

  • Tapeworm

    I don’t plan to exclude severally physically handicapped Brits in my all male Disney princess themed orgy, if that’s what you’re saying.

  • I can’t tell if that’s racist, sexist or both. Let’s just go to Disney World and fondle inside It’s A Small World.

  • TheManHole

    Gawd you hack frauds had enough time to burn more DVD’s of space cop but you can’t make it available for digital download!

    #SellOutsAgain
    #Unsubscribed

  • Frank Lovejoy

    … says the person who doesn’t even know what words mean?

  • RLMkeepitup

    they could have used him as the evil character, instead of cgi voldemort, and made it about destroying him instead of death world. that at least woulda been worth his time!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’d be a Christian if Jesus had been raped by a bear and came back three days later. Now THAT’s an risen-from-the-dead story I can get behind!

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Specifically it became more popular while pointing out what a complete waste of space Wesley Crusher was.

    It is a shock that the guy who ‘played’ him turned out to be such a vile individual?

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You Old Testament, fundamentalist wackos.

  • RLMkeepitup

    raped to death by bear sounds worse than crucifixion, certainly less peaceful

  • Palpatine

    That’s actually what happened, the Hebrew to English translation got really messed up.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    You’d have like, whole body stigmata.

  • Biggiesized

    Nah, Blood Diamond is his best role. He plays the anti-hero and does a convincing Rhodesian accent.

  • I’d prolly like Space Cop more if you let me see the god damn movie already!
    #petitionforchange #obamatrump2016

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Welp, I disagree. But I like that movie. I like most movies he’s in. I just don’t think he’s been great in any of them.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They censor things very inconsistently. mike call jar jar a loathsome cunt.

  • Well, it’s FINALLY back in stock. [It’s probably gone already]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-zxKUyiS64

  • King James had a staunch anti-bear policy. And the New Testament was translated from Greek. Now, those guys really messed things up.

  • Anal stigmata. Now, that’s a grindcore band name.

  • I’m afraid to ask what’s slash fiction.

  • So, what you’re saying the joke is not on us… it US.

    That’s really depressing.

  • Palpatine

    It was the most disapointing thing since my son:
    http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Triclops

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    See? That’s just reactionary. But, whatever, this ain’t the place for this argument. We’ll leave THAT for The Oscars.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You’re saying Max Von Sydow is in RUSH HOUR 3?

    I’m saying Max Von Sydow gotta eat. Also, there’s a RUSH HOUR 3? Defuck?

    I’mma gonna go with THE FORCE AWAKENS is still more of a boge move. RUSH HOUR 3 is, like, so un-Von Sydow that it’s almost revolutionary.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    He could’ve forced Rey to play chess for two hours, while he philosophized.

    Woodda been the greatest Star War ever.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Are you still trying to justify the dumb shit you said as me misinterpreting you? face it whether you want to call it racism or bigotry or just you being a fucking cunt, that your a fucking cunt.

  • Strong_Bow

    It’s like, used occasionally, as Andrew said. They use it for, what you might call, comedic timing.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You don’t know the difference between race and culture, do not appreciate what Western culture has given you, and when your ignorance is pointed out you fall into a spittle-flecked obscene illiterate rant, and you really think you’ve made a point?

    G’day mate!

  • DanteSuckfest202

    16:32 Are you kidding me? The CG animals were atrocious in this film. The bear I can let go, because what are you gonna do have a real bear maul some one in one long take? But the buffalo, wolves, and caribou too? You can get those. They probably had to chase wild animals out of their shoots!

    I have to say, over all I am with you on this movie (technically brilliant and that’s about it), but I think you’re focusing on the wrong issues (like Leo, who I think you guys have a vendetta with that you need to get over; I used to hate him to but there comes a time when you have to grow up and acknowledge that he has matured as an actor and actually has some talent. I’m not saying it’s Oscar time by any means, but give him some credit).

    At the same time, I don’t want to be that epic-poster who highlights all the discrepancies and inaccuracies and opinions in your review. Like I said, I agree with you guys 90% here.

    But holy shit Mike, how much did you get paid to say that at 16 minutes? That bear was unforgivably bad.

  • bleurgh

    I think he epitomises the idea of being average.

  • RLMkeepitup

    cg buffalo? if only we hadn’t killed them all to starve the “Indians” as one reviewer calls em. screw it I ain’t seein this mooovie, Im gonna watch Jeremiah Johnson, he can skin a griz!

  • bleurgh

    Most white Australians have at least a little indigenous heritage. My grandmother was half indigenous, given up to a catholic orphanage, possibly abandoned, possibly a part of the stolen generation.

  • bleurgh

    Kill yourself.

  • Alex Lee

    It would have prevented gay, interracial persecution. Although, it would make Milo Yiannopoulos the next cumming of Jesus Christ.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    And strangely when your bigotry is pointed out you avoid the issue. And as the culture in question is actually a race…

  • DanteSuckfest202

    All very good questions. I had several of the same ones my self.

    Of your points, I think it’s ok to let the boat stuff go.

    They may have done a combination of walking and water based transit on the way out there (mentioned using Leo as a guide), and the boat was probably only to make carrying all of the pelts back easier rather than fitting every guy on it at once. I also think there may have been more than one boat that they left behind, but I’m not positive on that.

    As for the ambush, there’s all kinds of stuff the natives could have done. Arrows for sure, both fired and not. The river is surrounded on both sides by mountains and cliffs. High ground has been over rated in the past (thanks Obi Wan), but it’s not nothing. For starters there’s the classic drop huge rocks on ’em! Beyond that stuff, they could have used dams or other obstacles. Utilization of the environment to beat them to locations where the river is shallower/narrower or more hazardous to pass. Straight up just swimming onto it when everyone is asleep and slitting throats (which didn’t happen since no one was on it at the time).

    Everything else you put out there is beyond me, but I do know that people did tend to eat more raw foods back then than they do now and not because they didn’t have fire to cook with but rather by choice.

  • DanteSuckfest202

    Have you ever seen a little low budget film called Dances With Wolves? That movie had real buffalo in it.
    http://www.ew.com/article/1991/03/08/filming-dances-wolves-stampede

  • RLMkeepitup

    They say 30 million once roamed the West, puts the 1-2 million wildebeest Serengeti migration into perspective. America really was a frontier. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e9/Bison_skull_pile_edit.jpg

  • RLMkeepitup

    bassbait if you’re out there I apologize: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i17pORf_iE4

  • It’s alright. Captures the tone of the movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Bubs

    http://chunkyschicken.com/

    Looks like they got some competition.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Not their lighting guys. #RianJohnson

  • It does warm the socialist part of my heart! Also, hope it never comes out. ‘Shmultz Awakens’ was enough drivel for this decade!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I thought you were a Mexican, not Jean Luc Goddard.

  • My mother was Mexican. My father was a fat toad from space.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “She gave me this picture when she was real sick”

  • What did I just watch? Was that real life?

  • Holy shit, that is amazing.

  • When you’re drunk and/or high CG looks pretty fucking real.

  • We need to clone them. Make buffalo-men also.

    http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7h7asTxju1rwpzb0o1_500.jpg

  • Buk Pravon

    I saw two movies yesterday:

    #1: The Revenant

    It was okay. Not as good as I expected it to be, but good enough in the right departments. Typical Iñárritu, if you ask me. The themes it treats are the same almost every of his other movies treat too. I think “Biutiful” did it better. Leo and Gleeson both don’t fit. DiCaprio in his role and Domhnall in the setting. Hardy did a perfect job, of course.

    By and large “The Revenant” is just “good enough”. Not the best film I saw the last 12 months. :/

    #2: Anomalisa

    Awesome. … Just awesome. 😮 I love it. A real great movie. I still can’t wrap my mind entirely around it. What is funny in a way, because the people in the row behind me started disussing it as soon as the credits roled. … If you’ll watch the movie, you will notice, that this is more funny than it may seem. 😉 One of these people went to the counter, after leaving the theatre and asked the attendance, what the meaning of the film is to be…

    Well… I’ll be thinking about that for quite some days to come. 🙂

  • This is the first episode of Half in the Bag to feature an Alberta licence plate. Kudos.

  • I had to google who that is. What an asshole.

  • Like Icare

    Them Blu-Rays ain’t cheap. They run a businnensss.

  • Red Skeleton

    As an avowed oppressor of the Tory party, my viewing experience of TFA was RUINED, along with possibly Star Wars itself, by having to read at the end of the credits “[Special thanks to] George Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer of the United Kingdom”. If this strike action means they have to film TFA somewhere else and I NEVER have to see Osborne’s name attached to a Star Wars movie again I’ll be JUST FINE with it.

  • Tapeworm

    Yeah, Bass also loves Batman & Robin, I bet she saw that 100 times already.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    If I’ve got a lot to catch up I mainly skim through and only stop to read replies if the main comment seems interesting. Then of course I’m also biased towards comments by people I like. But yes, I’m mainly crazy. And sometimes bored.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    The intense atmosphere alone was worth it for me. And I’m sure it’s still better than The Assassin.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    They can’t even create new content to generate revenue. Best of the Worst Business. *Tosses Jay and Mike into the dumpster with the Wheel of the Worst

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Captain Picard entered the ready room visibly shaken. The encounter with the Romulan ambassador had left him frustrated. Picard still couldn’t get her smug parting comments she so quickly shared in front of his bridge crew.

    “Computer! Tea. Earl Grey!” he barked at the unit on his wall. The damnable replicator could never get it just right. Not like home. Not like his mother used to make to soothe a young Jean Luc in times of duress. “The nerve of that woman!” declared a voice from the corner of the ready room. “Permission to join you Captain?”

    It was a voice Picard knew all to well. That deep voice belonged to Mr. Worf. Head of security. He had stormed off the bridge earlier after Picard had ordered him to keep his opinions on the taunting Romulan to himself.

    “What is it Mr. Worf?” purred the Captain, “You know I do not wish to be disturbed here.” Picard pointed to the chair next to him. Worf advanced upon the seat like an alpha wolf in heat, something in his manner reminded him of the brash way Riker always mounted his seat.

    “You must forgive my tone, Mr. Worf. It seems I am not one for the formalities involved in negotiating mining treaties with unpleasant Romulan ambassadors.” As, it would appear neither are you.” “Sir…” Worf pleadingly began, but before another word could come out of his strong and thick lips, Picard raised a finger to his mouth and hushed him.

    Worf grunted and shifted his strong, rigged alien buttocks in his seat. Picard ignored this as he sipped his tea and stared off into the gaseous nebula spread out before them through the aluminum windows of the Enterprise. “After today’s frustrations, what do you say we head to the holodeck and unwind?” Worf seemed confused, expecting another stern verbal tongue lashing from Picard.

    “Come now, don’t be coy Mr. Worf. A bit of a vacation should be rather good for us.” With that, Picard placed his nearly empty cup of tea down, stood erect, and took the strong Klingon’s cocoa hand and pulled the brute to his feet.

    Picard giggled like a school girl as they skipped down the halls to the holodeck, hand in hand. That playful skipping ended when they reached the holodeck to find it it occupied. “Captain the holodeck is currently in use by Commander Riker, William T. and Cadet Crusher, Wesley.

    “Not those bitches again muttered Picard.” as he ignored the machine and over rode the door controls…

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Rush Hour 1 and 2 are prized members of the racist buddy cop film legacy we all love. Avoid 3 like the plague. It is fucking awful.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Bears usually eat the genitals and assholes out of their victims first. They like the stinky bits. Google body after bear attack to vomit.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Why didn’t the boat just try spinning? It’s a good trick after all…

  • Earth

    YAY! THANKS FOR LETTING US AVOID TAX WOOOO!

  • I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

  • Holy shit…

  • Like Icare
  • Earth

    What’s the point of using natural light in real locations if you’re just gonna use non-diagetic Hollywood music throughout the movie?

  • Earth

    This film would’ve been better if it didn’t have Leo in it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    erm what hollywood music? the composer is Japanese and sparse dark ambient beats are not hollywood music.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I don’t know about the commonality of it, but it only further raises the point: why are we so precious towards aboriginals? They are just one of many many cultures, but have a flag all to themselves and a lot of benefits. Not that it’s their fault, rather the govt. and good old white guilt.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m pretty sure it was just an ironic joke.

  • Tapeworm

    lol, as if Japanese people listen to music. I call bullshit.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    don’t call me Shirley

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I always think of you as Disco Wife anyway, Susan.

  • How dare you shit on J-Pop!

  • You mean (s)he wasn’t always old and wearing a bad wig?

  • Tapeworm

    I wuv it, honestly.

  • Oh… ok…. *walks backwards a few steps and then quickly runs away*

  • Moke

    looks interesting. thanks for mentioning it

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Speaking of ANOMALISA…I’m seeing it on Sunday. Clearly it’s about old people still doing it. Right. Right? I mean, no spoilers, but old people…doing it. As puppets.

  • Earth

    I haven’t seen the movie. There was that clip of Tom Hardy talking and they were playing this sad music and I just thought having music of any kind defeats the point of making the visuals realistic.

    (it sounded Hollywood to me but maybe that was just the trailer music or something.)

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Support Our Heroes!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yes. The transition from B.C. to A.D. was a very bad time for CGI grizzly bears. People just refused to believe. So, they made up a story about a wooden cross because people were hanging off those things everywhere.

  • Red Skeleton

    The Gungans never really came across as a particularly socialistic group. They look like they have a pretty tight caste-system going, what with you being so, uh… different looking from all the peon Gungans.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “They like the stinky bits.”

    Red Letter Media

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Oh! Sick burn.

  • It’s not his fault he gets the munchies after smoking his giant water bong.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “Gawrsh Mickey. Mebbe you oughtta leave that fella’s nutsack alone. Har. Har.”
    “Go fuck yourself, Goofy, you can’t decide if you’re a dog or a man freakshow.”
    “Way-ell, double gawrsh. Somebody’s flapjacks got all-jackflapped this mahnin’!”
    “You leave Minnie outta this, you.”
    “Bawk bawk bokka bokka bwash bwash bwash balls.”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    It’s an automatic Disqus thing, I believe.

  • Red Skeleton

    So… any, uh…. any fans of… uh….. Dragonball Z? I recently decided to go watch all the movies I never saw… and then rewatch all the movies I DID see. I feel confident in saying that the movies are way better than anything post-Freeza saga, though that may be controversial with any other DBZ fans…. of which there probably are none here so i’m safe…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Speaking of The Super Bowl…Who you got? The old guy or the rapist?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Come back tOmy! They were trying to run me off, not you!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Innint there supposed to be more explicit man-on-man stuff in slash fiction? This lovely story is more anime-ish than slashy.
    #Joke
    #NotTheAuthorityOnSlashFiction
    #Seriously
    #Really

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Mary Lou, too. She was a Who.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    She’s Leia’s kid. Han abandoned a pregnant wife to become a deadbeat dad and hang out with Chewbacca. I’m glad he’s dead.

  • Red Skeleton

    Leonardo DiCaprio is proof of why Hollywood should go back to making Silent Movies.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    he’s working, allegedly.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    or playing Unreal Tournament while smoking weed…allegedly.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    OMG the Gungan city is a giant bong! that explains everything!

  • Smoke on the water….

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Jar Jar in the sky.

  • And the naboo are their weed dealers that is why their trade got blocked.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The “just for the pelts!” thing is kind of obvious. They weren’t attacked “just for the pelts.” They assumed that was why they were being attacked. They were being attacked because 1. Historically, natives attacked traders, 2. The French set them up to it, 3. They were looking for the daughter (Pawnee Pa clearly says so).

    1. Boat size. I guess that’s a good call, if minor. Even if they were crammed in, they would’ve needed at least two.
    2. The French always had the daughter. How they got her isn’t necessarily important to the story. That the Pawnee were duped into thinking the Americans had her was fairly obvious to me.
    3. She’s in the box, putting the lotion on.
    4. See 3. above.
    5. There were only a couple of people on that boat, already wounded, not capable of defense. The Pawnee also clearly had guns. Oh, and FIRE!
    6. Why do you stick your finger into the chili before you serve it?

    Well, you’ll have to crawl around painfully for awhile until you can find some bone for a brace. Good luck with that. Over time, you’ll heal enough and get good with crutches. Or, if you wanna really stick to your own logic, you can just lie on your belly for the rest of your life.

    Wanna nitpick THE FORCE AWAKENS now?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Oh! Sick burn.

  • How do you play a fast paced shooter on weed?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Allegedly.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ask him I guess? but if you mastered something you can do it even when intoxicated.

  • Paulus Nuns

    I partially agree, some of the movies are above the anime if only for the animation, the OS’s quality had highs and lows. Besides, most of it was filler. The problem with the movies is that they duplicate what was going on in the anime, I’m thinking of movies like The Three Great Supersaiyans or even Wrath of the Dragon, as opposed to Tv specials which deals with “canon” content, Bardock, future Trunks etc which felt much more epic.
    The only good thing post-Freeza is Hercules/Mr. Satan,I don’t know why so many people hated him.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    its the only way to play.

  • Well. It’s looks like a plutocratic society with a strong militaristic foreign policy with an extremely weak base for voters. We also have an electorate voting system with a few party candidates selected from within the political system. Also if you are rich or say dumb uneducated things you get a massive following with no real change. It’s power well centralized and managed. BUT! We still call it democracy.

  • Jason Ross

    seems people always bragging about their supper bowl this time of year. i have six supper bowls in my kitchen and they are a little old but they do the job just fine

  • I frantically masturbate when stoned.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You could have supper with five other people, then, if supper was soup. Or, you could have soup for supper six nights in a row before you had to wash your bowls.

    Seems to me you got a lot to brag about, but you should try to stay humble. You’re no Cam Newton. He eats soup whenever, because he gives no fucks. He just flies, baby. Then he does a cocky dance over his bowl to say, “Fuck you, bowl. I’m better than you.” And then he just throws the bowl away and gets a new one.

  • bleurgh

    Probably because of all the rape, murder, kidnapping and having their country stolen from them and the fact that their still trapped in a legacy of poverty and suffering as a result of all that having happened, not to mention the present day discrimination they have to endure.

    Your comment is pretty ignorant dude. If your parents are poor and not well educated you’re likely to be that way as well and we aren’t that far historically from a time when indigenous Australians weren’t even permitted to seek out any kind of tertiary education. That’s why they get it for free now. Seeing as we as a country pushed them into the centre, then murdered them in ‘frontier wars’ as the colonies grew in order to take their land, leaving the survivors with nothing, some free education for their descendants is absolute fucking least the government can do.

    My grandmother was subject to constant abuse in the catholic school system for being half-caste and forced to drop out of school against her wishes. Imagine if that was the situation for all of your grandparents. Incentives restore the balance.

  • Yes. This. *ashamed face palm*

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    This is just part 1… prepare your butt holes for magic. #RikerIsATease

  • TheManHole

    Shows like Dragonball Z suffer from monologue exposition fighting. Where one or more people will stand there “Powering up” telling the audience there motivations and how they effect the plot. This can go on for a whole episode! Now I get why they do this, animation is expensive and you need to tell the audience this dribble eventually. However this shit takes me out of the show immediately.

  • TheManHole

    #NSFW

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Part 2.
    A Boner A Day Keeps the Riker Away

    Picard knew what to expect the minute the doors pulled open and he was not shocked by what he saw. There was Commander Riker, nude. Again. Hoping up and down as he cheered Cadet Crusher on while he smashed more green space ass. “Typical number one.” Picard wryly remarked as he pulled a repulsed Worf into the room.

    Riker’s naked and sweaty cheering came to an abrupt end. Wesley, in throes of orgasm as he pumped away at the green holographic woman also came to a lurching stop. Shame covered his barely legal face. “Wesley…what your mother think if she saw this?” questioned Picard.

    “Uhhhhghghghg Captain…I didn’t see you there.” muttered an embarrassed Wesley Crusher. “Captain, let me explain…” cooed a mortified Riker. “NO number one. No need to explain, we’ve caught you both at it again. How is it that my first officer and his lackey spend more time fucking holograms than performing their duties?” barked Picard.

    “Ensign Crusher, report to your mother’s laundry machine and clean your jumpsuit. Number one, get off my holodeck, you disgust me!” ,Picard yelled. Both of the sex criminals sulked off the deck and the door closed silently.

    Picard unzipped his suit and let his bikini briefs slowly fall down this hairy legs. “Now Mr. Worf…let’s see about those pants of yours.”

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Yeah, that’s basically been my life ever since TFA came out. It’s like a reality show without the cameras.

  • Biggiesized

    I just feel if he plays the good guy, he’s always seen as “Leo” the same way Tom Cruise is always seen playing himself. Playing a villain in a Tarentino flick is hardly bucking the trend when the role is deliberately over the top and melodramatic.

  • Like Icare

    Same way hedgehogs copulate?

    Very carefully.

  • Like Icare

    Admit it. You only like it cause the main character fucks a Japanese sex puppet.

  • Red Skeleton

    I have to disagree with part of what you said. It’s not that animation is expensive that they have to drag everything out it’s that they need to stretch a manga that can be read in 5 minutes into 22 minutes. That’s why I’m enjoying the movies so much, no need for filler. Just a (comparably) well paced 45-70 minutes of Dragonball action and storytelling.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King
  • Red Skeleton

    I like Satan too, but his shtick was WAY overdone (due to filler, I know, I know). I liked the movie, uh, that started out focused on him and 18. THAT was a nice change. Too bad it switched to focusing on Trunks and Goten, but eh.

    I don’t really mind the whole duplicating the show stuff. I really enjoy the 5th movie because it feels like a compressed version of the freeza saga (which it is!).

  • Red Skeleton

    I KNOW, RITE?!

  • Like Icare

    See Leo? This is how you go for an Oscar. When you’re white.
    http://www.people.com/article/british-actor-joseph-fiennes-cast-as-michael-jackson

    Kirk Lazarus would be proud.
    And maybe a little jealous for not thinking of it himself before getting all that melanin on.

  • Paulus Nuns

    The Cooler movie was pretty good…what about the last movies? I can’t stand them, I’m probably too old for shonen stuff anyway.

  • Buk Pravon

    I’m glad to hear, that fandango was wrong after all. 🙂

  • Red Skeleton

    The last movies? As in the ones they made literally the last couple years (the egypt one and the new freeza movie). I haven’t seen them, yet. A bit put off by their running time. But the last of the old series of movie were both really good. They were both really well animated, and the one with Link, uh, I mean Tapion was really good. And it made kid Trunks into NOT a total annoying d-bag.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I guess I’m in the minority in that I never really see him as “Leo,” I just think his range is very limited. Django showed that he can have fun with a character while also satisfying dramatic goals. Over the top Leo makes sense to me because he’s notorious for overacting and he struggles with subtlety. Might as well embrace it.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yeah! me too! And, I’ll never trust them again. I could’ve seen ANOMALISA last week, but I forgot to check the art-theater’s schedule. It’s a fifty minute trip, so I like to go when there’s at least a double feature I can manage. Maybe I’ll sneak into BROOKLYN or something.

  • Like Icare

    Why didn’t anyone yet think of getting together William Gibson and David Cronenberg together and letting them loose on a project or two?
    I’m looking at you Canada.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Thanks, you’ve made me glad about two things. First thing, that they’re taking this totally whack internet urban legend and making a movie out of it. And B thing, that Jaden Smiff is not cast as Michael Jackson.

    Wonder who they’re putting in the fat suit to play Elizabeth Taylor Marlon Brando.

  • To be fair, Michael Jackson was white at that point. At least I think he was. Maybe it was paint. But either way, he was white.

  • I prefer the abridged version.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qslAuezumIA

  • Paulus Nuns
  • jimmy

    I was thinking of seeing the movie today. Without spoilers, can someone just tell me if HITB liked it?

  • jimmy

    I got 30 min. to decide on a movie: Room, The 5th Wave (don’t hate me, I’m just picking from the theater list), Star Wars (4th time), H8ful Eight (3rd time), The Revenat, The Big Short, Spotlight.

    ??????????

  • Moke

    they liked the pictures but not so much the story. Something between a 70% and 80% rating.

  • Biggiesized

    I just feel he’ll never win in a role like the one you’ve described. He has his fans in the audience, but not in the body of the group that ultimately matters.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Either of the last three.
    Avoid ROOM.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    They’d rate it closer to 55%, I’d say. I don’t think either of them really liked it much. They respected it, but that’s a different thing. Their recommendations were totally sarcastic.

  • Palpatine

    I didn’t detect any sarcasam.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    The Revenant because Chivo’s cinematography on the big screen justifies the admision price by itself.

  • Palpatine

    Both.

  • Palpatine

    Don’t forget about the amazing camera work.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It took 12 years to make.

  • Like Icare

    John Goodman?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    He has lost a lot of weight in the past few years.

  • Like Icare

    Ergo the fat suit.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Maybe your detector needs new batteries. They make a chirping noise when they get low, but sometimes I just confuse that with a cricket.

  • Palpatine

    Just like Space Cop.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Right. I got that.

  • Palpatine

    I would love to see RLM talk about Norm of the North.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Jimmy’s already made his choice, and if he doesn’t like the movie (whichever he picked), he’s gonna blame us for not making our recommendations earlier.

  • Moke

    possible. I’m used to video games reviews were everything gets at least 70%. Good games start at 85%.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I have no idea what you just wrote.

  • I can think of better things to spent my time with. Like…

    https://youtu.be/E55ni_xc4ww?t=2m2s

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You ol’ dirty birdy.

  • “Can’t fu*bleep*’em if their’e dead”

    -Rich Evans

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Something something cock-a-doodie something.

  • Red Skeleton

    That’s ok.

  • Red Skeleton

    So do I. It’s what’s kept my interest in DBZ alive all these years.

  • No stiff has ever stopped me from getting a stiffy, if you catch my drift.

  • Palpatine

    Rob Schneider is… a polar bear!

  • Liie I said Palpy… better ways to spend my time…

    https://youtu.be/ckTPSWJDcEs?t=1m15s

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well as a person who saw I want them to talk about it. It is the worst movie going experience I have so far this decade.

  • Palpatine

    How bad is it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Room of course.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Are you just mad at it because Tommy Wiseau didn’t direct it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If I could ever rate a movie 0/10 I would give Norm of The North that. It is insulting, unfunny, and painful from the very first moment and it got worse and worse.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s why he only talked like five times in the movie.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You realize we’re six years into this decade? Maybe you’re forgetting something.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    It’s got lemmings. They’re just like minions!

  • Palpatine

    The lemmings should all go jump off a cliff.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Ba-dum-tsh!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Wasn’t Cronenberg one of the rumored directors of Neuromancer through its long history?

  • Oh look another Deadpool ad that’s also a PSA. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZEP6glW4AQ

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Holy fuck. I just saw the trailer for Natalie Portman’s magnum dumpus, “Jane Got A Gun”. How the hell did this get made?

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)
  • Generic trailer music – check.
    What the fuck is up with the recent western resurge?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    This is getting so [redacted]. When is this [redacted] movie coming out? I want it all over al[redacted]. Let’s just say [redacted] this movie in its [redacted] so [redacted] hard.

  • Well, you have to give one thing to Reynolds, he really got into character… (because they paid him).

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Even he’s gotta be thinking…”Hey guys. You know that one joke we’re relying on for our movie to work? Yeah, maybe we’re risking wearing that one joke into the ground. I mean, unless you got another joke. You got another joke? Any old joke. Doesn’t have to be a great joke. Obviously. No? Well, then. Yeah. I’m just sayin’ maybe. You know? Think about it. (I’ll never wash the ball-sweat smell offa my body after spending so much time in this fucking suit.)”

    I’m even done defending Ryan Reynolds. I don’t ever want to see him again in anything. Ever. He’s This Year’s Chris Pratt. for the next fifteen years, at least.

  • I never liked him as an actor anyway, so I don’t have any investment in Deadpool.

  • Palpatine

    Whatever, if there’s one comic book comedy movie that I’m seeing this year, it’s Suicide Squad.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    He wasn’t the worst thing about a couple of things I’ve seen him in (please don’t ask me to name them, though). But, man-o, man! The marketing for this has just been the most obnoxious, preening, juvenile stuff I’ve seen in a long while. Worse than the BvS stuff by a long shot. I know there are people who think differently. I don’t understand those people.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I would love good western flicks instead of comic book ones but yeah, this is crap. Bone Tomahawk is pretty great though.

  • Palpatine

    Not everyone is of the same mindset when it comes to movies you know.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Really? When did that happen? Did you get a memo? Dammit! I’ve been telling myself I should read those damn memos!

  • Palpatine

    Sorry.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    For? Have you been stealing all the memos addressed to me?

  • Palpatine

    Yes.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Evil!

  • Trask

    Le rand0m lolzz maymay fahnny XD

    Shotguns cock

  • Palpatine

    I’m on your lawn right now!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Watch out for mines and all the dead children.

  • Palpatine

    You know, I would give anything for a new BotW just about now.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Would you give me your Snickers bar?

  • Palpatine

    Here you go.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    C’mon, hack-frauds! Palpy held up his end of the bargain. Now, give the man a BotW, or I’m going to feel guilty about chowing down on this Snickers bar.

  • Palpatine

    Don’t feel guilty, I don’t even like Snickers.

  • Tapeworm

    Blasphemy!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I really don’t want to open this kettle of fish, but I will say two things. One, it’s an entitlement given to current generations, even those with no real link or proof of identity to the ‘rape and murder’. Two, I used to build houses at the remote communities, and I think I have a very clear perception of the problems occurring there, and the solution is not more money. Believe it or not, I do have a solution to the cycle of debt, but since no Australian government would ever be so practical, it will remain a pipe dream.

  • tOmy`

    Peekaboo, suckers! Due to being a bit too grumpy, I have been currently reassigned to Cheerleader Breeding Facility’s Keep It Together program. Therefore I have been forced to take a break from spamming commenting on this wonderful webzone and take a refuge in the countryside for some quality skiing and drinking (not necessarily in that order). I shall be fully back next week. But, if you want to have some retarded shit to talk about, here are my 3 favorite stories of past days:

    1) Kanye’s outburst to Wiz Khalifa on Twitter, including such gems as “respecting pants game”, “You own waves? I own your child!” and “You have distracted from my creative process.” http://www.avclub.com/article/kanye-west-attacks-wiz-khalifa-twitter-still-respe-231380

    2) “Martin Shrkeli releases insane Ghostface Killah diss video – if you don’t know about the dispute or (especially) Martin Shrkeli, I recommend reading a bit more. But hey, here is at least the video, because holy fucking shit: http://pitchfork.com/news/63216-martin-shkreli-releases-insane-ghostface-killah-diss-video/

    3) And something to make you happy: First Massive Attack single is here – Radiohead’s Wolf at the Door-esque return to the MA’s roots, including a mothereffin Tricky: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWSt_q7M3zI

    Keep it sexist!

  • Ogrot

    You do realize, that this is Deadpool we are talking about. Obnoxious, preening, and juvenile is what Deadpool is. He’s an off the rails satire character.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    I went to see The Revenant, and every single trailer involved a female character punching a guy and/or saying something about how she wasn’t going to let some MAN force her to “settle down”.

    That’s how “Jane Got a Gun” got made. It’s a Tyler Perry movie for feminists.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    I lost much of my little remaining faith in society when people in the theater laughed at that cringeworthy Deadpool trailer. The rest of it was destroyed when the same people laughed at “Dirty Grandpa”.

  • Deadpool giving a PSA on preventing cancer.

    Okay, I smirked.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Depends commercials?

  • Frank Lovejoy

    “For 400 years that word has kept our people down.”

  • I refuse to believe that I live in a world where over 10,000 people think “The Chickening” is funny in any way.

    I also can’t deal with the fact that several channels I follow could actually like it as well.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Yeah, three decades of blind devotion to Labour has really made your country great.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    is that an argument for quality? you can make that stuff work by making it compelling on some level. DP seems to exists on a singular level-it’s a comic book parody that is nowhere near as smart or funny as it thinks it is. hey they should have gotten joss “sensitive” whedon to direct it!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, I can’t think of any.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m looking forward to this movie a lot but unfortunately children are.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jane Got A Gun is from the director of Warrior? How the hell can it look so fucking bad? Oh yeah, Natalie Portman.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s from the writer of Training Day, the text book example of a screenplay being better than the direction.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “maybe I coudn’t be skinny and tall but I’ll settle for being the greatest artist of all time as a consolation”

    how could you not love him?

  • Palpatine

    I like Natalie, I think, given the material she can work with, she’s a good actress.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But she’s producing. Typically when an actor produces the work they’re in it it stinks.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Warrior was laughable. So manipulative and shallow. Even Requiem for A Dream was more subtle about it’s groundbreaking message: “drugs are bad mkay?”

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jane Got a Gun doesn’t have a rating yet but I’m predicting 33%.

  • Ogrot

    It is an argument for what the market is and what the expectations of a market that likes Deadpool would expect to see. As well as artistic fidelity to how the character was conceived and written in the first place.

    Make Deadpool compelling? His core appeal is that he is an obnoxious murderous psychopath, who gives no fucks, and quips the quippiest quips that were ever quipped.

    Next you’ll tell us Marvel should put out a Punisher movie where Frank Castle is more forgiving so he’s not widely seen as a giant asshole.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Let’s start betting. I’m going with 20%

  • Palpatine

    14%.

  • Like Icare

    “You’ll never shit your pants again. In the cyberspace.”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “His core appeal is that he is an obnoxious murderous psychopath, who gives no fucks, and quips the quippiest quips that were ever quipped.”

    From a POV of a 14 year old. When I mean make it “compelling” that means making it so that it woudn’t be cringe worthy to someone who isn’t a comic book nerd.

  • Like Icare

    Not sure about that, but they are both great fans of technology and where it is going, with a rather skewed look at it all.

  • Oh right, I forgot he has cancer.

  • Trask

    Can’t be worse than Fifty Shades of Black.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    From Marlon Wayan….gun please.

  • Trask

    Can it be worse than Norm of the North? Or is that not possible.

  • Like Icare

    What are you, some kinda a sexist pig?

    Speaking of pigs… No… wait… Speaking of sexism…
    I totally had no idea that John Carpenter’s Ghosts of Mars takes place in a matriarchy.
    And then the gates of hell break open.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    “In a cosmic sense, aren’t we ALL just horrible jokes, dancing on the palm of a cruel and merciless God?”
    –My critical blurb of ‘Space Cop.’
    Feel free to put it on the special edition cases, RLM.

  • Like Icare

    Rob Schneider is… a poorly animated twerking bear.

    Scary thing is (besides really bad animation that looks like someone’s school project… and Rob Schneider…) that shit looks almost, ALMOST like a critique of the modern consumerist society… gone terribly wrong.

    Speaking of desperate misguided cashgrabs…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4tNuM9XttM

    …and then they took Genndy Tartakovsky off of that and gave him another Hotel Transylvania to make.
    Whatever you do, where ever you hide, there’s no escaping Adam Sandler and his entourage.

  • Ogrot

    But that’s the point of his character. He’s the parody reflection of the juvenile power fantasy that is being a superhero and all the contradictions the mythos contains. A parody of the genre and the audience in one package. Its why the 14 year old kids that do or don’t get it, and the Manboy Boyman’s that do or don’t get it will flock to it. At the very least it is honest to what the character is.

    Second, I don’t mind Marvel taking some risks with the C-list characters by straying from the formula and doing a bit of creative experimentations. Can we get an obnoxious parody character to work in a film? It would be worse for them if they just tried to make him Spiderman with guns, cause then it would just be the same action swill all the other IP’s have been through.

  • Red Skeleton

    Hey, second worst is second worst.

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh, wow, this is the first I’ve heard of it. Natalie Portman AND Ewan McGregor?

  • Palpatine

    The Obi-Wan/Padme fan-fiction shippers will love it!

  • tOmy`

    “That know, the day that you play me
    Will be the same day MTV play videos
    that was a little joke, Voila!
    Praises due to the most high, Allah
    Praises due to the most fly, Prada
    Baby I’m magic, Tadah!”

  • I’m 99.99% sure they weren’t even thinking about that, and just wanted to do a “LOL BALLS” joke. But props to them if they were keeping his origin in mind.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You don’t satirize obnoxious, preening and juvenile by being obnoxious, preening and juvenile. Satire is much smarter than Deadpool.

  • fred

    wow, high praise

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And Joel Edgerton. It’s a Prequel reunion!

  • Palpatine

    Who’d he play in the Prequels?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “Don’t call me Janie!” *Sad pout.

  • Joe

    The narrative felt a bit… off to me, but yes the atmosphere was very good.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Uncle Owen.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    There’s also a horse that steps in poodo and whinnys.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The same people who ship Rey and her obvious cousin.

  • Red Skeleton

    I had to look him up. Eh, I guess he counts. He was in, what, two scenes?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Still counts because he was in it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    nothing better than a frozen snickers. they are all crunchie.

  • Like Icare

    You know what’s funny?
    Carpenter gave none of these people any credit for In the Mouth of Madness.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TosdCShzD4g

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I predict 20% for Pride Prejudice and Zombies.

  • Palpatine

    No offense to him or anything, but it’s well known that Carpenter is a legendary asshole.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He ain’t on Klaus Kinski’s level

  • RLMkeepitup

    wheres the King?

  • Domo

    That’s how my parents thought it best to remove my loose teeth as a kid. Frozen snickers. No coaxing required.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    He was busy writing a 1000+ page book.

  • RLMkeepitup

    it had something to do with Maine I’m sure

  • Palpatine
  • Jason Ross

    MSNBC is carrying the Trump Theocracy rally tonight. Gays and blacks will be able to see him talk politics for the first time.

  • Jason Ross

    Oh I almoist forgot
    GO TRUMP

  • Paulus Nuns

    I think most people liked it because of the technical aspect of it, it’s really well done. Not really funny or coherent though.

  • Like Icare

    Shrek-lee’s high on own supply. An’ he ain’t sharin.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Hey,bet they’ll never remake I.T. … *waits to be proven wrong

  • TheManHole

    I had to read that poster twice at the movie theater just to make sure it was a real movie with real actors.

  • Like Icare

    Two actually.

    Needful Things and The Waste Lands (Dark Tower 3) came out next year. Though they are both well under a 1000 pages long. It’s a mere ~1200 pages when combined.

    Somewhere around then he also found time to write most of the Golden Years for TV.

  • RLMkeepitup

    no that was force awakens, wait

  • Like Icare

    Getting sober and writing two novels at once.

  • RLMkeepitup

    you all moist for Trump hehe vote all night long time!

  • Like Icare

    It’s also a real book.
    I fear that it won’t actually be that bad.
    Maybe even good. If anything, it will most probably have plot.
    BUT… It may be dead on arrival due to the failures of marketing.
    It really needed a more Deadpool-like campaign.

  • Like Icare

    Every time I read “Trump” first image in my mind is that of a turnip.

  • Like Icare

    Maybe… But he’s the kind of an asshole we need… though we may not deserve him.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Her brother! I’m telling you, people!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I thought he was in jail. I forgot the whole lawyer dance and trial bit. Silly, me, working for lawyers and all. I really just figured he was a big enough asshole that they’d just skip the regular junk and throw him right in the trash compactor or something.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    jimmy never came back to tell us what movie he decided on. In our defense, he only gave us thirty minutes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Respected ones too. It doesn’t sound real yet here it is.

  • Like Icare

    The guy who convinces his kooky wife to take in a kid they “found”.
    No… wait…
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1462769/

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    They just fly, baby.

  • Like Icare

    Jail is for poor people.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    From Barry Sonnenfeld, director of MEN IN BLACK, comes this sure-to-please new sensation…NINE LIVES.

    “Tom Brand (Kevin Spacey) is a daredevil billionaire at the top of his game. His company is nearing completion on the tallest skyscraper in the northern hemisphere. But Tom’s workaholic lifestyle has disconnected him from his family, particularly his wife Lara (Jennifer Garner) and daughter Rebecca (Malina Weissman). Rebecca’s 11th birthday is here, and she wants a cat. Tom hates cats but needs a gift. He finds a mystical pet store where the owner, Felix Perkins (Christopher Walken), presents him with a tomcat named Mr. Fuzzypants. En route to his daughter’s party, Tom has a terrible accident. When he wakes he discovers he is trapped in the body of the cat. Adopted by his own family, he begins to experience his life through a new perspective. In order to return to his family as the husband and father they deserve, Tom will have to learn why he has been placed in this peculiar situation.”

    Magic!

  • Like Icare

    Maybe Jimmy didn’t like his place in this world of ours?

  • Like Icare

    A talking cat!?!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “I’m the cat you need right now, not the father you deserve.”

    “Oh, Mr. Fuzzypants.”

    “No, really. I can work from the shadows. I can throw away eight lives cavalierly. I just fly, baby.”

    “Oh, Mr. Fuzzypants.”

    “Really? That’s it? You’re eleven now. Daughter of a billionaire. ‘Oh, Mr. Fuzzypants’? That’s the brand you’re choosing to go with?”

    “Oh, Mr…”

    “Fuck this. I’m out. Paul Blart Cat-Fart 3 is waiting.”

  • Palpatine

    Is that real?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yep. August 5th. The movie that opens against SUICIDE SQUAD.

  • Like Icare
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Chrissy! What defuck happened to “Jody” / TOM SAWYER?

    Karma for making “Mr. French”‘s life hell?

  • Palpatine

    “Fuck you Max Landis” was the best part.

  • Like Icare

    It’s so dense… every frame has so much stuff densed into the denseness of density…

  • Palpatine
  • Like Icare
  • Sheriff Mitchell

    That Casio keyboard/Ableton hack job background track just makes it perfect.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Not always. Deadpool has had some excellent character moments. It wasn’t until much later on that Marvel began playing up how CAH-RAY-ZAYYYY Deadpool is and had him break the fourth wall every 10 seconds because shitty Deadpool-loving teenagers think that’s what he’s supposed to do.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    The funny thing is I’m a comic book nerd and it’s plenty cringe worthy to me.

  • Michael Collins

    This will blow your minds people!
    ps
    If it’s already been posted here, then that’s quantum mechanics, baby..

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hi0BzqV_b44

  • RLMkeepitup

    keanu explaining quantum chess >.<

  • Michael Collins

    It even has a star wars reference..

  • Michael Collins

    That looks interesting, gonna watch it all later.

  • Michael Collins

    That’s put sand in my mangina..

  • Palpatine

    It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

  • Fist Beefchest

    You know what’s a good movie, is 2009’s The Revenant. It’s about a guy who dies and then kills some people.

  • RLMkeepitup

    well x files is back? , wonder if they’ll bring back this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5h2x3G40to

  • Max Landis? Who is…

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “Are we alone in the universe? Impossible. When you consider the wonders that exist all around us… voodoo priests of Haiti, the Tibetan numerologists of Appalachia, the unsolved mysteries of Unsolved Mysteries… The truth is out there.”

  • Palpatine

    Some guy.

  • Bubs

    Yes. This.

    It really made no sense whatsoever, but I could not help but laugh when I saw that old man’s face superimposed on the kid’s. It wasn’t flawless by any means, but it was a hilarious shot. And it was rather fun for me as an amateur film enthusiast to say “how did he composite that particular shot?” Otherwise, it was nonsense.

    @disqus_7aCZYJnrBd:disqus

  • To be serious I like her as a person. It could be mostly because of her enthusiasm, youthfulness and that she’s not a slut like Hanna Montana nor compensates by shaking what you earthlings refer to as “booty”. I welcome this Mary Sue and her angry feminist friends. Daisy Jazz Isobel Ridley maintains a constant erection and I like it.

  • Bubs

    Theocracy? Did he learn nothing from Palpatine?

  • Palpatine

    How much does she make you drool?

  • I’m old gringo. I don’t get to drool over 18 year olds.

    Plus. She aint no…
    http://static.diffen.com/uploadz/6/6d/toad.jpg

    WOOWAWEEWA!

  • Palpatine

    Are you married to that toad?

  • Jejejejeje! Oh amigo. You have much to learn.

  • Palpatine

    Tell me more Great Toad King.

  • One day we have a great get to geather with Arepas and I tell you all about it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Max needs duct tape over his movie after he watches a movie and around his hands and figures.

  • fred

    Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is amaaaazing guys.

  • I thought that movie was called Fluke. Which is like one of the most unnecessarily sad movies ever.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTVV86PHypU

  • THERE WAS A FIRST ONE!?

  • Moke

    Lucas dialogs are like a little kid playing around with a condom. It accidently crosses territory it just shouldn’t.

  • The Matrix soundtrack?

  • Like Icare

    It was stylistically designed.

  • /yawn

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    morning mine schatze

  • You misspelled Scheiße.

  • Hello, Upside Downey Jr.! How’s it hanging?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    that comes after he has his morning coffee.

  • But i already took a pretty decent crap today.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    low and lazy.

  • Sounds amazing! I binge-watched like 8 episodes of X-Files yesterday and now all I see are secret government agents on every corner.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Well was it after your morning coffee?

  • Before. I’m out of coffee. Need to go to the shop first. I’m still all grumpy and german angsty.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They have been playing the mythology eps here on tv.
    also its not mythology and worse its season 9!!! but one of my favorite episodes ever is Improbable.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mfxy5CD_wo8

  • OMG! I never saw this! Back in the day I quit after 5 or 6. Can’t remember. Now I’m catching up on all the mythology stuff and if I’m in the mood for more I’m gonna watch the rest as well. ;P

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    poor bastard.

  • What… no Mulder and no Daggett? Who is the other chick?

  • The Lesbian Sex-Files?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    sorry SPOILERS!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    sorry.

  • God is a typical WASP? How am I not surprised?

  • Could you keep it down? I’m trying to do drugs!

  • Just shoot them Bronson style!

  • Why? Does it get that bad in the later seasons?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    which ones?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    no, nothing i never said anything and i was never here…. SMOKE BOMB!. *Runs awaay.

  • The Bruce is out there.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Season 8 and 9 mostly sucked. would you watch ‘Old T-1000’ and ‘Random Brunette’ do moster of the week eps?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Apocalypse Now is on tv.
    “Charlie dont surf!’

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    10 minutes of Apocalypse Now is a stark reminder of why ‘avitar’ sucks more dicks than can be described.

  • Moke

    I bet the main reason why half people are grumpy and the rest screams at each other is a coffee overdose that prevents people of getting a real nap. For decades!

  • Standard Gungin issue!

  • Not really. 🙁

  • Best movie ever. My favourite scene is when Ben Affleck puts his animal cracker down Liv Tyler’s underpants.

  • Also known as “blblblblblbl”.

  • SO, how are YOUR bowel movements today?

  • Came out smooth like a well-lubed butt plug.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    screaming like unborn children.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Elongated. you?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    thats awful! do it again!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    but there are lovely gems like Improbable.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Campbell?

  • Yeah, he forgot his keys.

  • Taco Bell?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    daves not here man…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Jail is for poor, black people.

    #JailSoRacistAndAllYouGiveASh!tAboutIsTheOscars?

  • Does Charlie turf, tho?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Speaking of Cheerleader Camp…Denmark looks poised to take the title of Greatest Country on Earth from Germany. With a $25.00 minimum wage and high standard of living (despite paying a large personal income tax which pays for gratis health care and education), a representative parliamentary government which has not been hijacked by a single political party since the 80s, and a large well-behaved immigrant population, Denmark gets a very high satisfaction rating by most measures.

    Anybody know anything about the climate? I think it’s similar to Great Britain: Ugly, wet, and chilly, but not frozen.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    no. i never saw no lawns.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    colder but drier.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Now they’re seizing inmigrant’s jewels, rings and so on. Happy Denmark!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    wasnt that sweden?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Paul Kantner, the man who lead Jefferson Starship, one of the more interesting of the San Francisco bands from the hippie era (which isn’t saying much), and had the since to leave it before it became Starship, one of the more horrendous outfits of the horrendous 80s (that’s saying something!) is dead.

    Probably cancer.

  • Paulus Nuns
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    To be fair, fried immigrant jewels are delicious!

  • Paulus Nuns

    I agree. But some people can do without the jewel part, like in “fried inmigrants”.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Propulsive.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Nicholson with his chicken costume was the best for me.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Grated cheese, are you planning a trip to Denmark or something? I think Mike travelled there, and described it as “weird, dark, european.”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I’m researching options for an upcoming escape from Trumpland.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Ok, then you have to think about USA enemies and stay like 1000 miles away from them. Personally, I would go with Norway, just because I like norwegian and snowy forests. Btw, is Trump that popular?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Trump is just a clown. And, yeah, he’s popular. ‘Merica is a good 37% clown. (And, I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt, there.)

  • Paulus Nuns

    Where is the third party when you need it? This bipartidism thing is tragic. I hope Sanders wins but he seems too socialist for the average murican.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    It’s not the political parties that are the real problem. They’re just a reflection of the society as a whole. They take all the blame because uneducated, over-fed, distracted ‘Mericans always blame something other than themselves.

  • Paulus Nuns

    That’s a good reflection. You need a big shock, my country was totally distracted as well, until things got shitty.

  • Like Icare

    Hey! It worked with Jews…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Big shocks always cause problems and pain. A modern, wealthy country should be able to look at its issues rationally and productively, and if it’s functioning properly, it should proactively prevent big shocks.

  • Like Icare

    Bah! It’s just Emin Pasha Relief Expedition with Murricans.

    You’ve been duped!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    To be fair, how many dick descriptions can you come up with? White, black, yellow, small, long, engorged, oh-my-gawd-what-is-that?
    Pretty much covers it.

  • Bloody and painful.

  • Like Icare

    …fat dicks, skinny dicks, dicks who climb on rocks, tough dicks, sissy dicks, even dicks with chicken pox…

  • Like Icare

    Unsatisfactory and kinda constipated… Much like my life in general.

  • Paulus Nuns

    There’s a lot of feelings involved too, if this is all about rationality, the problem would’ve been solved looong time ago. You have to deal with classes, races, etc. And I agree about the pain and problems, but circumstances must change in order to get better, if the situations remains static, then there’s no future to speak about other than what some elite guys decide for us. People won’t open their eyes unless “something” or a bunch of things happen.

    PD: my english is just falling apart.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    #clownlivesmatter

  • Paulus Nuns

    I cannot help but think in “semites and problems, again” But I’m optimistic.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Don’t worry. Your English is fine. Better than half of all ‘Mericans’ English.

    Thing about the United States…It’s ALWAYS been about elitism. It’s just the mythology that insists differently and the definition of “elitism” that keeps changing. Currently, to ‘Mericans “elites” are “intellectuals,” which is just, absolutely [redacted].

    This country was created by elites for elites who all like to pretend they are benevolent until their supply of sh!t starts to run down, then they kind of rally the wagons around some dumb idea to convince the plebes that they can be winners, too.

  • Like Icare
  • Hank_Henshaw

    You have to vote for either Kang or Kodos. Go ahead, and vote for a third party, if you want to throw your vote away.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    But, if there were a viable third party, Kang and Kodos wouldn’t be so-much the same (maybe).

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Man, where I’m from, we had two parties, that were rather terrible by the end of their 40-year cycle, … and people voted for a third option: a militaristic Marxist party. So people went from bad to worst imaginable option.

    I agree on your comment about education. 17 years later, with oil prices down, food shortages, rampant violence and crime on the streets, and a four digit inflation projected for 2016, the illiterate population that got these failed army men to power, are starting to realize their grave mistake.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Well, that’s kind of what I mean by “viable.” A third party doesn’t achieve anything productive when it’s a fringe party, but those result when the main parties become dysfunctional.

    So, yeah. Fyuck Tea Parties. But, the United States might function much better if there had to be a coalition of Dems, Pubs, Libertarians, Soccies, and a couple in-betweeners. Then, the government would have to be representational. Now, you’ve just got These and Those and their only interest is in consolidating their own power to do favors for their Greasers.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Speaking of politics and bowel movements…What the heck is parvo, and where did it come from? My neighbor’s dog has it, and the fyucking thing has projectile-diarrhea-ed all over the walls of the lobby.

    Anybody know the Haz-Mat phone number?

  • Palpatine
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Thank you, good, um, evil sir.
    Guess my hallway will smell like bleach for a few days, huh?

  • Palpatine

    Use Febreeze to cover the smell of the bleach.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You don’t have to tell me…I practically douse my environment in Febreeze anyway to cover the odors of whatever it is the Myanmar refugees eat.

    Apartment living.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Today in Things I Couldn’t Make-Up…DC Comics is producing a line of comics based on Hanna-Barbera cartoon characters Scooby-Doo, Space Ghost, Johnny Quest, “Wacky Races,” and The Flintstones that it describes as “updated” and “gritty.”

    Who is this for? Are there really thirty year-old men who have been pining for the further adventures of Johnny Quest?

  • Mark Bisone

    I’m just going to skip what I assume are 10,000 bear rape jokes and comment on the movie:

    I haven’t seen the movie.

    Good episode, though. Excellent beards.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Gritty Wacky Races? What the ffffffuck?

  • bruce wayne

    Okay you hacks, here’s what I think is going on. Mr. Plinkett is the one doing the review for The Martian. Either that, or you frauds are too damn drunk to realize that you failed to review a sci fic movie that is right in line with what Mike “claims” he wants in a sci fic movie. If that’s the case then… I’m gonna… well if you don’t… you just better… god damn it nothing works because I’m coming back no matter what you do. But you better get off your fat lazy asses and review that movie, or else Plinkett better be working on something. OH I KNOW! If you don’t do something with The Martian in the next 30 days I’m going to post a still shots from Things, The Item, and The Phantom Menace every day until the entire films are on your web zone one painful shot at a time. That’ll learn ya you hack fraud sons of horse ninja’s.

    Not you Rich Evans, you’re still cool with me 😉

  • It’s a zombie movie. I can’t believe you guys missed this.

    The three rebirthing events? Always to new death?
    How Glass gets stronger as the people who help him die?
    The literal rising from the grave? The title?

    (If you googled further youd see the term refers to a type of undead)

    Its basically a classy version of the crow.
    Its awesome, you idiots.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i’m still hoping you guys will do The Forest

  • quick_moranis

    The throwing up of the meat was because his throat wasn’t fully healed.

  • Paddy Kelly

    Holy crap, guys, will you learn to say Domhnall Gleeson’s damn name properly? It’s DOUGH-NALL. JUST GOOGLE IT. It’s getting to be embarrassing.

  • Curtis Burga

    Thank you for calling bullshit on DiCaprio’s acting skills. In EVERY movie I see with him, I don’t think, “that’s a great character!”, I think, “that Leo DiCaprio playing a character as Leo DiCaprio”. And I agree with your esteem of Natalie Portman as well. Two careers that are basically extended con jobs.

  • That is some grade-A cringe-core.

  • Marco

    Spoiler: Actually he does get scalped in the movie.

  • David Simonot

    I believe it was filmed in Alberta. I personally enjoyed the film a lot. I don’t hate DiCaprio, but I agree that he is not a great actor. This was more of a man vs. nature plot than a revenge plot. Also, for mef the purpose of the film was being transported into our brutal past. It made me appreciate how easy my life is. This film is good for people who are interested in historical depictions or man vs. nature stories. The revenge was just an excuse to have a brutal fight (which I enjoyed). Survival is enough to drive a man, but survival is less “noble,” than murdering someone (apparently). It was a good movie for me overall. If I complain about inaccuracy or over dramatization I should go watch a documentary or something (I know this is a bad analogy, but I need something). I got a gritty film and that is what I wanted.

  • Malevolence

    Anyone know where I can pirate Space Cop? >_> …. <_<……. O__O

  • Buk Pravon

    Well… are you interested in sharing your opinion about it? Because I know, that my praise might have raised bigger expectations than the movie could hold up to.

    But nevertheless I am interested in more relatable opinions than I could find at rottentomatoes. :/

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    It’s like poetry, it rhymes.

  • Tarquin42
  • dasjerm

    The Revenant is no fucking Space Cop

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I thought it was a difficult movie. The stop-motion puppetry was spectacular, and I’d highly recommend the movie for fans of adult (that is, not Disney or Pixar) animation. And, personally, the themes of the story were moving to me: The idea of commonality v. individuality is one I’ve been thinking a lot about lately for some reason. But, having a protagonist that entirely lacks empathy is hard to pull off. It can be alienating, and I was somewhat resistant to the character and his hang-ups.

    Charlie Kaufman, though, is a genius writer, in my opinion, and the film had enough brilliant bits in it to win me over.

    ★ ★ ★★☆

  • Buk Pravon

    Thanks. 🙂

    I found remarkable, that the only characters with their own voice, besides Michael, were Lisa and the japanese puppet. That gave me something to think about. Especially in terms of what Michael may be looking for when he is searching for a partner or something special in human beings in general.

    Something I have to think about a little longer is the breakfast scene, which is, together with the dream sequence right before it, the core scene of the whole movie.

    The slow alienation of Michael and Lisa during it reminds me of the breakfast sequence in “Citizen Kane” and made me ask myself if every breakfast scene in major movie history may have an undertone of alienation too. :/ But I couldn’t find enough evidence for it till now. Maybe it is just a coincidence.

    There are some other themes that kept my busy, but I have to rewatch it, before going deeper into them.

    Still a very interesting movie in my opinion. Nice to see, that I’m not alone with it. 😀

  • You seem resourceful, you’ll surely find a way.

    PS.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLKZtppbm_Q

  • Amarzden

    FUCK YOU, IT’S NOW FEBRUARY!

  • david blane

    rich dont look like no white boy i ever done seen

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Well, I think breakfast scenes that take place after love scenes tend to have that undertone, yeah.

    I saw the voices all being the same as another example of Michael’s disinterest in other people, his lack of empathy. Also, all the faces were the same, but we (the audience) learn at the end, when we see what Lisa’s friend “really” looks like, we’ve just been seeing them as Michael sees them.

  • cabbo

    @6:50 he kept carving ‘Tom Hardy killed my son’ on rocks.

  • Buk Pravon

    Absolutely. It’s all just his perspective on other people. What is odd, because he is preaching the exact opposite of it in his lecture. Maybe he once saw it the other way around.

    In his dream he sees himself as an exchangable masked puppet for a moment and earlier in the mirror too, right before he hears Lisa the first time. I understood this as more than just a nod at the audience about the selfawareness of the filmmaker using puppets for his storytelling. I think for one second Michael is realizing, that he is as boring, not individual and not special as the rest of the world is. And the reason he starts to hear Lisas voice is, because his subconscious wanted to spare him this awareness and distract him with something different. … But thats just my interpretation.

    Lisa loses her especialness again, as soon as she is referring the same things every other people does (or at least the cap driver). He is starting to find her less attractive and increasing uglinesses at her, as soon as she disagrees with him and “controls” him. What may or may not be a hint that Micheal hates to lose control over his life or everything else, through the pure existence of other people in his life, whose lifes do impact his own. One can tell, that he once saw his wife and his son different than now by the way he is talking to his son at the phone…

    Well… I start to read more and more assumptions out of the lines… but I have to admit: It’s fun. 😀

    I like movies which make me think about them. 🙂

  • Phil McKraken

    Can’t pronounce Domhnall Gleeson’s name: Funny the first time, boring every subsequent time. Same goes for all can’t-pronounce jokes. It only works once.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I think your reading of Michael is much kinder and more sympathetic than mine. I see him as fairly narcissistic. Maybe I’m reading too much BEING JOHN MALKOVICH into the creative decision to have everyone look and sound the same. I mean, I just never liked Michael much at all. What kind of dad — even the most distracted and unaccomplished — would buy their child an Asian sex-fetish as a gift? Now, I’m OK with a character like that but more generally as an object of scorn or as one that has to have some sort of redemptive arc. That wasn’t Michael. For me, the film brightens up with Lisa’s character, who goes through real emotional changes with her self-esteem and her empathy. When it’s her movie, I was charmed, but it’s mostly his movie.

    I agree with you that it’s nice to have a film that gives you something to think about. Easy entertainment is fine, but it isn’t very satisfying. Sometimes, I’d rather dislike a movie intently because I disagree with its point-of-view rather than feel comfortable with a movie that pushes all the usual buttons.

  • Buk Pravon

    You are right, of course. Lisa is the most likable character in the movie and Michael is (at least for me) the only character one could identify with, because Kaufman made him the only one with his own face and voice (for the course of the whole movie that is). Even though he is mostly just a narcisstic asshole, I pity him for the most parts of the movie, when he is struggeling with the way the others behave.

    The scene with Michael in the sexshop is very interesting itself. As you said already: He is very distracted. Even though he might have known already, what kind of “toy shop” this is in advance by the way the cap driver depicted it. But when he sees the japanese puppet he is fascinated by it, way beyond the way he would have been, if he was still just looking for a toy for his son. My theory: He never bought it for him, but for his own. That was the vibe I got from this scene.

    So, of course, I was rather astouned when he gives it (or tries to give it) to his son at the end. o.o But it was a very funny punchline for this subplot. 😀

    But, and here comes my point from way before again: He stares at it, while it is singing, the same or at least in a similar way he was staring at Lisa while she was singing “Girls just wanna have fun”…. I didn’t translate the japanese singing till now… but I wouldn’t be surprised, if it means the same. 😉

    If not… well, still a nice touch of the similarities in the reactions of Michael watching them singing.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    The first thing the leather-panted woman next to me said to her husband after the movie: “I’d say it was pretty shitty.” It’s one thing to not enjoy a movie like this for it’s content, but what the fuck has to be wrong with a person to not see anything to respect here? Unless she was just covering up the fact that she soiled her leather pants because of the film. I mean, what the fuck? You can dislike the subject, you can dislike the gore, whatever. You can even just enjoy the sights if nothing else. But to just say it was “pretty shitty” is moronic.

    Personally I thought it was pretty great. Certainly better than Hateful Eight. Didn’t enjoy it as much as Birdman, though. Ironically an old man trying to make a play is more exciting than a guy being mauled by a bear. Jay’s on point about the film being more impressive than anything else. The story is extremely simplistic. I also agree that the revenge motivation didn’t translate very well. That’s probably why they had Leo carve “Fitzgerald killed my son” everywhere when he could catch a breath. A very clumsy way of driving the point home and could have probably been executed better.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    #PlinkettSoWhite

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    And that one scene where he’s running away, I think hear his voice crack. How old is Leo now, like 50 or some shit? When are his balls gonna drop?

  • Malevolence

    I didn’t know that Jay was an expert of the eating habits of pioneer men

  • Malevolence

    Also, I agree with Jay, it’s the fans’ fault that their brain cannot accept the possibility that it may have been a real bear. As for the bear itself, it was amazing

  • walmartian555

    Leonardo DiCaprio is actually kind of a shitty actor. Watch the movie “Bronson” if you want to see a movie that’s the epitome of “WTF is that tom hardy?”

  • Phil McKraken

    Watch Legend. Get Tom Hardy in stereo as the Kray twins.

  • Phil McKraken

    The bear looked great. As for the buffalo herd, my brain was rejecting it.

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Just for the record, it is pronounced EE-NYAH-REE-TOO. Just for the record as well, I fell asleep halfway through the film. Sorry!

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Now you do.

  • rosa.callihan

    I have scored 124k dollars last year working online, despite the fact , I am a full time student. I am a dv member of an organisation that I heard about and I have received such great cash. It is very user friendly and I am glad to be with them. Here are the details .

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  • Trent
  • Milton Dammers

    Because Leonardo di Caprio won the Oscar for being cold and eating a raw fish, does that mean that the contestants on I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here are in with a chance next year?

  • RalphCifaretto

    Leo isn’t a shitty actor. Name all his contemporaries that are better than him.

  • No, he’s an okay actor, just not that great. there are plenty of better actors around who perform the same type of role. This quote sums it up nicely for me:

    “Joaquin Phoenix, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Winslet,
    Robert Downey Jr., Denzel Washington, Don Cheadle, Brad Pitt, Hugh
    Jackman, Cate Blanchett, Tom Hardy, Matthew McConaughey, Amy Adams,
    Forest Whitaker, Scarlett Johansson, Jamie Foxx, Charlize Theron, Meryl
    Streep… These are big, big names. And yet, most of the time, they
    manage to disappear into their roles. A feat which, I fear, will
    forever elude Leonardo DiCaprio.”

  • RalphCifaretto

    Well, part of that is no fault of his own. When you are super famous, it’s hard to get people to shake their image of you. But go watch Gilbert Grape, Shutter Island, A Boy’s Life, and The Aviator again. I think he’s well above average.

  • Eh, I think he’s certainly better than a lot of other actors out there. I don’t find him annoying or anything and I thought he should have got more recognition for Wolf of Wall Street. But as the end of the quote suggests, many of the actors on that list had similar movie star fame problem and have acquitted themselves better in many of their acting roles. The Leo films you list are all solid and well made but I just don’t see any greatness in his acting as I can always see him thinking about what he needs to do instead of simply being in the moment. I do think he’s a diligent guy who does his homework on a role. I just don’t think he’s in the top band of Hollywood acting talent.

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