Half in the Bag: The Last Stand and A Haunted House

January 23, 2013374 Comments

Mike and Jay discuss The Last Stand, Arnold Schwarzenberg’s mediocre return to starring in mediocre action movies! They also spend more time contemplating the Marlon Wayans spoof comedy A Haunted House than Marlon Wayans did when he wrote the script.

Filed in: General UpdatesHalf in the Bag

  • Anonymoose

    Fuck this episode. When are we going to see the completed “Juggle Your Way to Health and Beauty” short?

  • Leo Ladenson

    Shave and a haircut, two beers.

  • Fuck everything, it’s January!

  • Ameseours

    2nd! Fuck constructive comments!

  • Leo Ladenson

    Shut up, you neck-bearded hipsters.

  • they use “disaster movie” as a torture device in other countries

  • Jason

    all the movies are terrible

  • Mark

    I Saw The Devil was fucking AWESOME!!

  • stolliosis

    Are we going to get a “Fuck you, it’s February” with the final nail in the coffin of the Die Hard series: It’s a Good Day to Die Hard?

  • twat

    Did Jay do some lines before the episode? He’s fucking hyped.

  • Leo Ladenson

    It was good to see Mike really laugh. He’s been the source of a lot of laughter the last few years, so it was good to see him partake as well.

  • William Remmers

    Mike laughed at the Incredible Hulk part as much as I did. Jay gets 10 points.

  • ObliviousMaximus

    What, you guys didn’t care about Dutch in Predator? You can help but root for him after a 1/4 of the way through!!!

  • What

    The real money is in dick and fart jokes.

  • Rex

    I’m cumming day and night

  • antitrotskismo

    >not defined by what they like to fuck

    come on fellas. come on.

  • jazzjackrabbit

    Not Another Teen Movie was pretty decent

  • DPBuccheri

    I love this show, but please don’t make me look at Nick Swardsen ever again. My hatred for that thing runs so deep even the mere sight of him fills me with a weird rage that I cannot control. This is the only time I’ve ever wanted to turn one of these episodes off.

  • Wow, Mike really looks like he doesn’t want to be here.

  • Anonymous

    “I am Sam” is a spoof movie?

    Of what, “Rainman”?

  • I have an issue with Mike and Jay just trowing “Not Another Teen Movie” in with the rest of those spoof movies. “Not Another Teen Movie” was actually pretty decent from what I remember. I haven’t seen it in a long time though, so I may be wrong. But I remember the movie actually having proper jokes.

  • Kyle

    Great episode. I was going to skip both of these anyway. I will say that while all the subsequent movies have been trash, Scary Movie is actually pretty good. It has real jokes and a story. Scary movie II was also decent. It was all downhill from there though. Mike, you should check them out sometime while drinking.

  • The “Story” of The Last Stand was pretty predictable but the moment to moment was fun. Jay gets it.

  • Kyle

    I don’t get what you are saying. Do you really think all gay men want to have sex with all other men? Do you want to have sex with all women? Even Hillary Clinton?

  • I don’t know. This Die Hard has a lot of positives working for it so-far. R Rating, no hackers, what appears to be plenty of practical effects, John McClain being a smart-ass, etc. It looks like it could be pretty damn good.

  • Leo Ladenson

    Right. Never bet against Bruno.

  • T Wal

    Police Squad reference. Awesome.

  • stolliosis

    You might be right. As long as he doesn’t fight a jet!

  • David T.

    That was great, now MAKE ANOTHER!

  • Roberto Feijoo

    Holy fuck! Mike looked in actual pain in the haunted house movie part.

    Well fuck you its January.

  • Harry Palm

    It’s called a joke.

  • Christopher Kulik

    Who is with me that Arnold’s best “performance” is still as CONAN THE BARBARIAN. First of all, it’s the only role where the accent fit the character. Second, director John Milius said if it wasn’t for Schwarzenegger, that they would have to “build him.” And, third, it’s the only movie in his resume where I actually forgot who is playing the lead: quite simply, HE IS CONAN.

  • mathon

    do you two believe in the collective subconscious? I was just talking to my brother the other day about the star trek movie where Piccard shoots a gun in a bar and accidentally called it and UZI instead of a tommy gun…

  • Robby

    When is the next Dudebros episode?

  • Robby

    Damn, I think them talking about The Last Stand is the most I’ve ever seen Mike and Jay disagree about a movie.

  • beavobeave

    I see your positives a raise you the ultimate negative: Skip Woods is a writer for A Good Day to Die Hard. He wrote Xmen Origins Wolverine, The A-Team, and that horrible Hitman movie.

  • Robby

    While I do love your show, I wish you guys wouldn’t focus just on movies you know you’re going to dislike. I mean yeah, it’s the dog days of January, but you could have seen and reviewed Zero Dark Thirty.

  • Mendoza

    She’s top of my list…

  • Christopher Kulik

    Bluntman & Chronic is still the best at ’em.

  • Burb

    Mike can’t handle his little friend disagreeing with him. Look how uncomfortable it gets. He pouts for the rest of the review like a ba-ba.

  • Juggles

    I was just thinking this! Maybe they can do it on the next live stream.

  • If you’d watched the livestream you would have seen it. And it’s not theirs, it was something they found on VHS.

  • Orraclles

    they disagreed so much on last stand for the sake of entertainment.

  • Alex Three

    Review Les Mis! I thought it was awful but it’s going to get 100 oscars…. Russell Crowe was hilariously bad. The first 5 minutes are a riot, like watching a middle school performance. The score is so quiet it’s like they’re singing acapella, but not holding a tune so it’s just awkward rap for no reason…

  • Jigsaw

    I really liked that line for a reason that I can’t quite put my finger on. Hm…. 😀

  • guest

    They don’t always focus on movies they know they’re going to disslike. You’d know this if you watched three or four episodes. Clearly with this one, they did it for the lolz.

  • Christopher Kulik

    I’m getting pussy no matter what / Even if it with dirty slut / True love is what I want the most / I just jerked off in your french toast! / So what if we have the same mother / Tonight I’m going to fuck my brother! (Damn, now that is whack!)

  • Jigsaw

    I really liked that line for a reason I can’t quite put my finger on. Hm… 😀

  • flangert

    I loved this one, but I think you guys could’ve mentioned something about Sacha being Jewish as well.

  • Ralph Sepe

    No. Your facts are wrong. They use “Meet The Spartans” as a torture device. They use “Disaster Movie” to kill people when they get the death penalty.

  • Socoral

    Haha I Am Sam is a spoof movie. That is quite an interesting take.

  • The Last Stand is great. It’s the best way to spend a few bucks on popcorn.

  • Nope. True Lies.

  • And you’re Rick Berman so fuck you Rick Berman.

  • I was jailed in Guantanamo Bay once and we had to see Disaster Movie & Epic Movie with Jar Jar’s head superimposed into each shot of both films.

    So yeah, this is why terrorists hate America.

  • You guys finally corpse on camera. Awesome

  • E

    Loved the final part with the Styrofoam. Good show guys. Saving world from bad movies one show at a time.

  • Captain Prickhard

    Not enough drinking = Mike isn’t into another make-out session with Jay.

  • postmanblues

    “the last stand” is what happens to good foreign filmmakers who find work in hollywood. big paychecks. bad movies.

    i haven’t seen “a haunted house,” but i will defend marlon wayans. so far is the most talented member of the wayans family and has appeared in many non-wayans film/tv productions. he was one of the better actors in crappy films such as “g.i. joe,” “dungeons & dragons,” and “the ladykillers.” in “requiem for a dream,” he showed his potential but perhaps hollywood didn’t want him to be a dramatic actor. he used to be funny and had charisma but he’s waned in recently years.

    i agree with some folks here. some recent spoof films have merit. these include “scary movie” 1 & 2 and “not another teen movie.” they’re not great, they have flaws, but they succeed to be real films (story, plot, character, etc.).

    “scary movie” 3 & 4, “superhero movie,” “dance flick,” “shriek if you know what i did last summer” and the “comedies” of jason friedberg and aaron seltzer fail to build on the material they’re spoofing. they just steal story, plot, characters, and/or other elements (sometimes wholesale) and mix in established low-brow jokes and c-grade celebrities.

    i must say some (not enough though) of the friedberg-seltzer “stuff” works and that’s only because the actors somehow rise above the material. alyson hannigan carries her scenes well in “date movie.” eddie griffin (who i don’t like) does a good job as her father. in “epic movie,” kal penn does a better job as edward than the kid in “the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe.” jayma mays is also good as lucy. in “disaster movie,” nicole parker and crista flanagan were funny.

    it get the feeling parody/spoof movies are the new horror films. people decry the level of violence in horror films, but do the same violence in a “comedy” and no one seems to care.

  • TheCuckold

    I can’t remember where it is, but during The Last Stand review Jay and Mike each said “part time” once or twice. They should have edited in the two clips of Harrison Ford saying that in the Crystal Skull trailer/movie.

  • Jakoporeeno

    Maybe, but they will never beat Titanic. Nobody can

  • Benzo

    In that clip of Borat @ 30:59, that’s the Digimon noise! Y’know the digivolving noise that the things make. That made me laugh more than anything from A Haunted House.

  • David T

    Did Mike’s cat die or something?

  • AndyAndLanaWackingchosky

    Keep ignoring Cloud Atlas fuckers and you won’t get the matrix movies in 3D

  • Jakoporeeno

    Best spoof movie is still “Fuck off, Ghost!”

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    I stopped cumming.

  • cacalips


  • presidente pullman

    it is too pretentious

  • presidente pullman

    you’re the true master king of bel-air

  • presidente pullman

    fuck movies

  • presidente pullman

    i just want plinkett to review them

  • Rock Hardon

    I love how Mike totally breaks character and they decide to just keep filming and then keep it.

  • Dr-G0nz0

    End of Days is the only film I class Arnie actually acting… a little.

  • Xerxes

    You guys talked about Kim Ji-Woon making an action movie and mentioned everything except The Good, The Bad, The Weird?

  • skine

    Absolutely loved the mention of Police Squad! (In Color). One of my favorite scenes (other than the locksmith scene) can be found by searching for Police Squad Name Confusion on YouTube.

    Anyways, in order for me to consider something to be a spoof or parody, it has to make a comment on the original movie. It can’t just be a remake with fart jokes.

  • Guest

    I prefer “Don’t be a Menace”.

  • Guest

    I was laughing at the Borat clips, time to give that movie a second watch.

  • HumorHistorian

    Marlon Wayans stole that “There’s a ghost, we should GTFO.” joke from Eddie Murphy.


  • gaylord

    …I enjoyed ”not another teen movie” it was.. ok.

  • John Yaya

    Just when I thought Mike was having a particularly bad day, he breaks out in laughter. Loved it.

    That Police Squad clip was freakin’ hilarious too.

  • theryanpaul

    You should Half in the Bag “John Dies at the End” Think Fight Club meets Big Trouble in Little China. Just enough schlock for awesome and mostly real effects! In fact! Do a review of Big Trouble in Little China, Such a great film!

  • Benedict from Shrewsbury

    I even watched the ad at the end to show my appreciation 🙂

    I hope all these reviews are ultimately building up to you guys producing another movie?

  • Cyvaris

    The two of you…doing a parody/reference movie. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

  • capitandelespacio

    “Half In The Bag… Fuck January!” -Mr. Plinkett

  • Predator is easily his best performance in a movie.

  • m0r1arty

    Effing Care Boars!!!!

  • godawfull accent

    If it bleeds ,we can kill it.

  • godawfull accent

    I really like your line for a reason I can’t quite put my finger on. Hm… 😀

  • godawfull accent


  • godawfull accent

    I support the idea of Jay making a parody of parody movies.

    It’s gonna be great.

  • godawfull accent

    I’m cumming over here.
    I’m cumming over there.
    I’m cumming everywhere.

  • godawfull accent

    I still did not manage to watch that movie.

    I did watch the original show.

  • godawfull accent

    What character?

  • godawfull accent

    I stopped cumming over here.
    I stopped cumming over there.
    I stopped cumming everywhere.

  • yawn


  • dudeman3000

    is mike depressed?

  • James

    You guys really don’t know why there is an overly homosexual white guy and a racist white guy in this movie (and most movies and tv shows?) Think of the age group that sees these movies. They are portraying them that way to break the confidence and spirit of young whites and forever perpetuate bullshit guilt onto a new generation who had nothing to do with it. When will these tactics end? When white children are born hanging from the balls of a black man? 2deep4u

  • dan wright

    you guess need to have a disaster movie, epic movie, vampire suck marathon i need to see your reactions

  • Muscle-Horse

    Review Les Mis you whores!

  • Alex Humphrey

    Mike is drunk because no one can watch those movies without getting very, very drunk.

  • snakes andert

    I need a hazmat suit.

  • snakes andert

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Jay –

    Create a kick starter fund for your upcoming “parody of parodies” film, then give each donator Assistant Producer credit on IMDb!

    Really fun episode, by the way!

  • Here comes Arnold !
    Great episode guys !

  • Marvin Falz

    It felt relieving and vitalizing to see Mike laugh whole-heartedly.

  • Sully

    I agree. I was gonna say Dutch, too, or maybe… maybe Matrix from Commando. He’s always better when the bullet to dialogue ratio leans heavier in favor of firearms.

  • Commando is probably his most hilarious performance. God I love that movie. It encompasses all that is great and all that is awful in an Arnold movie.

  • Marvin Falz

    At the beginning of this episode I asked myself who is more bored: Mike and Jay or I. But then Jay’s enthusiasm conquered us all.

  • Sully

    Exactly! And next to Predator, it’s probably his most quotable film. Muscles, shitty dialogue, and big booms. It’s the how and why of his stardom.

  • Bobo

    So when is “Poop in the Pants” coming out?

  • X10Unit1

    Mike seemed like he was either just in a bad mood or was actually felt insulted by both movies. Jay seemed like he was in a great mood and finally got Mike into one once Jay got him to laugh. Good laugh by the way Mike.

  • SomeoneElseTookDude

    The next Half in the Bag is going to open with Jay face down in a pool of blood

  • SomeoneElseTookDude

    No it was total recall all the way. GET YOUR ASS TO MARS

  • MIke, Jay. The fucking Blip isn’t working, it’s just a still frame, with painted buttons. Staring at me. Maybe it’s stylistically designed that way, or something…

  • Buck Rawgers

    It seems like everyone is getting a hard on over this movie, but agree with everything Mike said. I thought I was crazy since it seemed like every review I saw was positive. The acting in this was terrible by every single actor and I hated how dumb the FBI was at every turn.

  • Someguy

    Lol i really thought that was a joke,but no u where sincere.This movie actually exist and i want to kill myself now,the joke’s on us.

  • Buck Rawgers

    and yeah, everyone saying this is a fun action movie is fucking high too. I spent this whole movie basically face palming and shaking my head. There was no tension and just like Mike said, it was all just a by the numbers movie that did nothing new.

  • WRL

    Imagine half of the spoof roles played by Chris Evans.

  • Steve

    Russians got a big kick out of that line, since it’s not a word in Russian.

  • ava_81

    Great episode guys. Loved the discussion at the end. I wish you guys could do an episode every week. I know its impossible, but I seriously love Half in the Bag.

  • Cyvaris

    When will this be in cinemas!?!?!

  • KEZD

    Is that the actual gun-cocking sound they used in the movie at 23:16?

  • fuckyouitsjanuary

    Great episode, thanks!

  • What’s this? Mike laughs?

  • Chad from Chad

    >jews are a race

    I don’t think so Mike

  • Meepo

    Jay is the opposite of Samson, once freed from the grip of his neckbeard he is talkative and lively, the beard was holding him back!

  • Chucky

    So the only joke in Haunted House is directly ripped off from Eddie Murphy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpPdgrr5diM

    ::fart noise::

  • trexation

    love to see mike crack up 😉

  • Chucky

    Never mind. Humor Historian beat me to it. 🙁 🙁 🙁

  • Chucky

    I think Mike wants to be there, but the extra 40 pounds doesn’t. It’s a battle of wills between Mikey and his gut!

  • Kantorek

    Mike’s done got himself one of those hip and happening new haircuts.

  • L A Webley

    So it’s been confirmed that J.J. Abrams will direct Star Wars VII.

  • Anonymouse

    I felt like Harley Quinn when Batman Laughed: scared.

  • capitandelespacio


  • jack

    what if the mandalorians played mandolin while speaking mandarin?

  • Regular Joe

    Bobo,what’s your facebook password ?

  • Chip

    ..tss tsst …it’s gonna be great or somethin’.. tss ts..

  • you idiot


    What I meant to say was GO FUCK YOUR SELF !

    2deep4u more like 2narowminded4life

  • Beer


  • dennett316

    I agree….it certainly doesn’t belong alongside the ranks of Date/Disaster/Epic Movie. Hell, even Scary Movie 1 and 3 were pretty decent.

  • It looks like The Last Stand really took a lot out of Mike. He could barely fight Jay’s enthusiasm.

  • Concur. The rest of you can die and go to Austrian weightlifter hell.

  • skagboy

    I think this is the first time I see you, guys disagreeing on so much while talking about one movie.

  • playdude92

    This whole episode was a brain meltdown. A search for the least bit of redeeming quality in two flicks, one with zero remarkability, the other with zero coherence and care.

    Jay and Mikes ability to make something out of that is astounding. Stil: Please talk about the movies and shows YOU care about. When theater releases value is zero, it´s time.

  • Meester Smeeth

    No fucking way! Is that true?? Awesome!!!

  • J

    I think Parody movies have officially reached the point where they are parody material themselves.

    Let the meta-fuckery begin

  • L A Webley

    Apparently so. The trouble is, if the movie turns out great, then the inevitable Plinkett review will suffer. The best thing about the prequels being so bad was the wealth of awful stuff Mike could rip into.

  • GT

    Yeah, i was gonna say, that’s the first time I’ve heard Mike actually laugh at something!

  • WhiskeySteroids

    Not to be too pedantic but it wasn’t found on a VHS tape. The Juggling short was a bit by Tim Heidecker for Tim and Eric fame.

  • Gus Baker

    Geez, what is with you two getting all bent out of shape about gay jokes? I’m certainly not defending this movie or “That’s My Boy” (haven’t seen either), but you’re OFFENDED by them? Didn’t realize you two were so sensitive, is there something you two funboys want to tell us?

  • Gus Baker

    Nah, Predator, Conan was fun, but seriously, all his yelling and stuff was too funny. Predator was about as close to a real performance as you’ll get out of Conan.

  • ForwardEarth

    I wish you would wash the Lucas blood off the wall.

  • yeah right hahahahaha

    It’s going to be great.

  • Proph

    Jews are a race, and a religion, that was spread across the globe, and returned to their land as prophesied.

  • JimTreacher

    I’m grateful for the reminder.

  • JimTreacher

    I think they’re offended more that it’s not actually jokes. It’s just “this guy is gay” over and over.

  • john fell

    Very profound to see the moment when all this bullshit finally breaks Mike’s mind. Jay’s a trooper and is maybe a little desensitized but the Movie movie thing finally overcomes Mike’s already fragile grip on sanity.

  • Put the cookie down

    Some sights in life are just so rare and beautiful, you can’t help but stare in amazement that you saw it at all. Mike laughing is one of those sights.

  • JimTreacher

    I don’t blame Mike for getting even drunker than usual. He’s drinking to forget he just saw a Marlon Wayans movie.

  • ZMAN1119

    Awesome job as always. Consistently funny and smart, you guys belong on HBO. And mike, nice to see you actually laugh.

  • ZMAN1119

    Everything will be so dense.

  • ZMAN1119

    Your now listening to the music.

  • sweetsadness

    Mike, go and see a doctor. I think you’re suffering from clinical depression. On the plus side: new haircut? Nice.

  • JimTreacher

    Commando is the only Schwarzenneger movie I’ve seen where he runs. It’s great. He doesn’t know how. Maybe he ran in The Running Man, I can’t remember…

  • Rich_Evans_Fans

    Good show.

    Great job Jay, I do enjoy your commentary.

    Cheer up Mike, you have thousands of people who love your work and buy your stuff. You’ve got a lot more love towards you than most get. Keep up the good work.

  • Rick Rickerson

    Where did Mike’s beard go to?

  • Rick Rickerson

    Fuck. Jay’s beard.
    Damn it.

  • B0ttleneck

    Yo dudes, love the show, but watching episodes back to back is like watching ‘Attack of Jay and Mike’s jowls’ or ‘The Revenge of Jay and Mike’s beer guts’.

    Point is, you two kids are getting mad pudgy. Time to get your asses on low-carb/high-protein diet asap!

  • John Doe

    You guys really don’t know why there is always some racist white dude defending the down trodden white male on the internet…or a racist black guy defending the down trodden black male on the internet…think of the age group that reads the comments.They are portraying the opposite side as being the cause of all their misfortune when in fact fear and out right ignorance is the main cause of their problems,while the smarter dudes ,no matter their background are much cleverer with deeper and broader vision ,which helps them climb out of that stupid ass neanderthal cave man bullshit and build their future.When will the children learn not to listen to some ignorant assholes trying to sound smart when in fact they are peddling some stupid ass propaganda from which only the wicked and corrupt profit,while they fight for some ideology that belongs in the dustbin of history.The south lost,the union is preserved.Move on.

    It ‘s not about race you ignorant fuck.But if you want to live like an animal,go ahead,it’s your free will.

  • some fat fuck

    This is true, they are getting a bit fatter. That said, most of us get fatter as we get older.

  • Melultu Kibsu

    I propose a movie in which Conan goes to mars and fights the predator. Oh shit they did that, it wasn’t so good. Nevermind.

  • zeitguest

    Hey we also have fucking Lindelof writing for World War Z so there’s one anticipated movie out the window. Weird awful CGI shit undulating masses of arms and legs that break the laws of physics by tripping, falling down and blocking themselves while moving at a sprinting pace zombies.

    At least Pacific Rim isn’t too far off – April.

    But geez, why must everyone spooge all over the site about Star Wars? Who cares if we just found out JJ Abrams is definitely doing it, right? Stop all this off-topic drivel!

    But if Abrams brings Lindelof on for Star Wars I will be puking for the next decade. Not in stanzas, but disjointed meaningless half-statements (but we’ll call my pukes mysteries I have the answers to, okay?)

  • Meester Smeeth

    If the movie turns out great, we’ll get a review where Plinkett points out everything that Abrams did right, like with the Star Trek review. Either that or it wont need a Plinkett review at all, and that’s fine.

    If he’s gonna do another Sci-Fi review just to tear a film apart, Prometheus has been waiting for eight months. Or is it nine months? Or is it longer? However long Prometheus has been out, that’s how long it’s been waiting to get bitch-slapped with Plinkett’s bitch-dick. IT MUST BE DONE.

    HEY! MIKE! I know you weren’t totally (not totally) impressed with it to begin with, but open your fucking eyes and pull your finger out. There’s pickin’s to be… pickin’d.

  • Kathryn Bigelow

    But robby, Zero Dark Thirty is terrrrrrrrible.

  • Cameron Ohara

    Agreed! We love you, Mike! Laugh those sillys out!

  • KarlosBarbarosa

    Mike, Jay and RICH MOTHERFUCKING EVANS are cool as fuck.

  • gobacktoschool

    Jews are a race same as Irish are a race or the French or ze Germanz.

    But yeah,let’s just paint the world in some ignorant white and black mentality why complicate things.It’s easier this way,no need to think.

  • Bassbait

    I really enjoyed the new segment. You guys should make that a more integral part of the episodes.

  • William Shakesman

    Mike was overwhelmed by Jay’s opinion. A world first!

  • Ashen

    You guys have totally missed the chance to insert fake digital blood splatters in the sequence at the end.

  • Bassbait

    In order for you guys to make “Spoof Movie”, you’re going to need to establish some ground rules –

    1.Any celebrity who has done anything in the past 3 years must be spoofed with a look-alike. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM

    2.You must keep the amount of actual jokes below 6. Preferably zero to one.

    3.The plot must be condensed to a really minimal amount of things that happen. Then, every 10 to 20 minutes must be a complete interruption for a pop culture reference. Said reference should completely take over the film to the point where you forget what movie you’re even watching. Maybe a Jersey Shore spoof? That’s popular with the kids these days.

    4.Gay rights are the big thing right now. Homosexual characters must be in the film, they must be stereotyped, they must be made fun of. Preferably in very uncreative ways. Also spend some time making fun of immigrants.

    5.Fart “jokes” must take at least 51% of the run time.

    This is all obvious. But it must be done.

  • Check your facts

    Wait….in the first review there’s a keyboard under Mike’s beer, but in the second review it’s gone!

    What a plot hole!

  • Marvin Falz

    Next episode drill holes in your heads.

  • Neal

    The funniest part of this entire episode was watching Mike cracking up and saying “FUCK!”

  • Theo Huxtable

    Strange chemistry between the two this episode. Seems like Mike probably got out of bed on the wrong side that day.

  • I disagree with one point i think the modern spoof started with “Don’t Be A Menace In South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood” and not with “Scary Movie”

  • Cheesy Pus Cormorant

    I really like your line for a reason I can’t quite put my finger on. Hm… 😀

  • 日本の女の子

    Maiku-kun! Jei-kun!

  • guest

    You’re totally wrong. That movie wasn’t a huge hit like Scary Movie. All the terrible spoof movies they’re talking about are direct descendants of the Scary Movie formula, right down to the “________ Movie” title.

  • Arny

    I’m getting the feeling of cumming when Mike laughs

  • Chris Soldano

    Mike should know better than to look for some deep meaning in a Schwarzenegger movie. I love Schwarzenegger but it’s for the fun action not the meaning of life.

  • joejoe

    Does your brain not work properly? He explicitly states that he’s NOT looking for deep meaning in a movie like this… he’s just looking for fun action and, in his opinion, the action wasn’t fun. Did you even watch the episode?

  • Gus Baker

    Possibly, I just found it strange that two guys who’s show is full of raunch, and likely there are actors and directors who have hung themselves after the (wonderful) drubbing these two guys gave their films, yet they consider a gay joke crossing some line.

  • JimTreacher

    Again, I think they’re more offended by the lack of an actual joke.

  • redletterjay

    As we say in the episode, we’re not opposed to offensive humor. It’s the lack of even the smallest amount of thought that’s the offensive part.

  • L A Webley

    Well said.

  • Couldn’t agree more, Mr. Smeeth. I doubt it will happen. I personally think the guys have been pushed to do Prometheus by too many people and don’t want to for that reason. I have to say as a personal thing; NO film since Phantom Menace has pissed me off the way Prometheus did. Not a single one, and a lot of it has to do with how freaking seriously it takes itself; which is why Plinkett would be SO perfect… Alas…

  • Gus Baker

    I understand now, thanks.

  • IamSMERT

    Kudos to Jay for shaving that patchy shit.

  • you have to pretend to be a chick to get his password

  • shitballs

    Yeah, right down to the _________ Movie title. Just like the title of the spoof movie they review in this episode, “A Haunted House.” You fucking moron.

  • Lol, Why the Greeley Estates poster?

  • Bob Sacamano

    Looks like someone got a hold of the internet and came across some idiot page with a black background and red lettering talking all about how whites are the new minority and blah, fucking, blah. We know it’s because you grew up unpopular and you found a way to group up with someone and use hate as a way to feel more powerful. Finding racism in everything and pointing your finger isn’t going to make you hate yourself less.

  • SamRobertsPubes

    O & A should interview Mike & Jay …. it’d be cool to hear them rip on movies…

  • Exverlobter

    The Expendables was great, guys!

  • Gimgonggangieman

    I look forward to Poop in the Pants, the least painful movie of January 2014!

  • Dwayne

    Looks like Jay will be sleeping on the couch tonight.

  • qwerty

    Oh, and which movie did murphy do that one in

  • John Q.

    Correct, lol you upset some loose sphincters with that fact.

  • Guest
  • stolliosis

    I will not lie; I was an avid Lost Fan, and then Lindelof gave me the “Fuck you, we’re in limbo.” Holding out hope and bursting with excitement, I rushed to see Prometheus. If you removed the dialouge, Prometheus might be a good visual movie. It was probably a let down on par with The Phantom Menace.

  • stolliosis

    Also, who wants to place bets that at the end of World War Z, Brad Pitt will awake in limbo?:)

  • Tathum

    No idea if you guys read these it not, but if Jay ever has the inkling to watch an actual, funny spoof movie, I suggest the Cheap Detective with Peter Falk in a sendup of some of the best movies of the 70’s. I’d also recommend, Murder by Death, penned by the same writer, Neil Simon, but its more of a character and literary spoof instead of a movie parody…

  • Mike was totally wasted like 2/3rds of the way through this one.

  • niggerlover

    Aww ,look at you trying to sound all enlightened and shit…aint that cute…

  • niggerlover

    He’s probably a faggot who can’t accept the fact he yearns for some black cock up in his ass.See “When white children are born hanging from the balls of a black man?”

    Nothing against homosexually inclined people,they are at least honest about it and I don’t care about which way they swing,there’s nothing wrong with that.It’s just that James is a scared asshole who can’t deal with his homosexual tendencies.You know,a faggot.

  • Was I the only one who made my own fart noises between every spoken line in the second half of this episode?

  • spacelizzard

    There are some idiots showing up in these comment sections of the interwebs…must be because of all them chemtrails…

  • zeitguest

    Fucking fuck I bet you’re right. Buy the writer’s actual full name is “fucking Lindelof” so we shouldn’t be surprised

  • I cant wait for poop in the pants the movie

  • Bazz

    u guys need to find some of those breakable bottles they use for movies, just for such occasions

    but plz wear eye protection

  • Robby

    A Team was a fun movie though.

  • Pixelsmack


  • kingofmadcows

    Those “parody” movies should really be called reference movies. They basically just mention things that are in pop culture. It’s like watching actors reenact an episode of Entertainment Tonight.

  • When you describe all the “convenient” things in this movie, you are describing Hot Fuzz.

  • When is “Poop in the Pants” going to be released?

  • Charlie

    First movie sounds a lot like the Lethal Weapon movies; A character that complains he is “too old for this,” ending with a fist fight, silly one liners.

    Also, I’m happy whenever you point out some movie recommendations like I saw the Devil. I usually look them up on Netflix immediately after you do.

  • Nelson

    “Eyeraq”? Really, guys…

  • Jim_Profit

    Yes you guys are hipsters. Sorry but it’s true.

  • Mark Bisone

    You mean Jessi?

  • Marcus Jones

    Is it just me or is this movie really just a Steven Seagal Movie without Steven Seagal? I mean it’s got the 3 word/syllable title. A main character that just happens to be an Ex-Something or other versus a supposedly unstoppable foreign enemy. It sounds like it was written for him 20 or 30 years ago and just got mothballed until Arnold came out of retirement looking to repair his image.

  • StrawberryJarJarCake

    20 or 30 years? Segal makes 2 of those a year and they go straight to video

  • Shapopi

    Why are the wall bleeding?

  • bananna hammock

    Honestly my favorite Schwarzenegger movies are the ones where there is absolutely no reason for the accent. No one mentions it, or ever tries to gloss it over. I am a cyborg from the future… with an Austrian accent. I think kindergarten cop mentions he was originally from Austria – and that’s it.

    Also – last action hero is the most under-appreciated Schwarzenegger film.

  • bananna hammock

    The Leslie Nielson clip made me laugh as hard as mike was in the clip! I’m off too watch the naked gun.

  • rashad1

    ok I love you guys but go fuck yourselves A Haunted house was funny just like the first 2 Scary movies by the wayans bros the rest where cheap rip offs by other people.

  • Mark Bisone

    Jay, if you make a parody of spoof movies, call it “Buy Some Popcorn, You Fuck!”



  • Mane

    There are times when I doubt my intelligence since I do stupid shit from time to time …but then I read some really weak ass shit being peddled as some supposed deep insight and I realize I am all right…

  • Christopher Kulik

    And yet it’s from a real shitty director!

  • Christopher Kulik

    I love both PREDATOR and COMMANDO, though in those he came off like a movie star spouting funny lines amidst absurd situations. CTB was a role the big guy was born for.

  • Marcus Jones

    Holy crap, you’re right! I thought his career as a aging overweight Sharif in Louisiana was the end of his acting, but it might have just been research for this role!

  • Zach Lacosse


  • Zach Lacosse

    i agree

  • Zach Lacosse

    Jay. One day, I’d love to send you a script or hire you as a consultant if I get into filmmaking.


  • Zach Lacosse





  • Marvin Falz


  • Boggerman

    Actually Scare Movie was not the first spoof movie. The first one were Ghettoblaster.

  • Handsome Pete

    There are five phases of Schwarzenegger. First is the pre-fame phase with Pumping Iron and Hercules In New York; then the peak phase with Conan The Barbarian, The Terminator, and Predator; then the superstar phase with Total Recall, Kindergarten Cop, and Terminator 2; then the decline phase with Junior, Jingle All The Way, and Batman & Robin; and finally the post-fame phase with The Expendables and The Last Stand.

  • Liquidus

    It’s fucking January. What were you expecting them to watch?

  • Liquidus

    Fuck, I thought that was Rich Evans! :O

    They really look alike!

  • Smackpixel


  • guest

    If they got other jobs, they wouldn’t have time to make videos for you, genius.

  • guest

    Going along with my previous statement, the more people that use adblock, the less money RLM makes. The less money RLM makes, the more and more likely it is for them to stop making videos for you all together.

  • guest

    “A Haunted house was funny just like the first 2 Scary movies” – said no intelligent person ever.

  • Mark Bisone

    No, that was my identical fraternal twin in Drag, Jill Bisone.

  • Mark Bisone

    The urban market stole my TV once.

  • Mark Bisone

    Jay, if you liked Jee-woon Kim’s past stuff (and action movies in general), you should definitely give “The Good, The Bad and The Weird” a watch. The whole film is excellent, but the final chase scene involves horses, jeeps, tanks, explosions, real stunts and a level of constant awesomeness that surpasses both the truck scene in Raiders and the tank scene in Last Crusade.

  • Vincendt

    Bitches ain´t shit

  • Happy Hipocrite

    So you guys don’t like The Expendables, huh? Kind of makes me glad that I don’t know anything about the actual process of movie making. Ignorance is bless!

  • Mark Bisone

    You mean “bliss”, Gilligan.

  • Mark Bisone

    What? Godzilla’s attacking the city??
    Well then get the fuck out of there, man!

  • because


    True men are not gay by being concerned with their looks.

  • Astor

    a parody of a parody? that sounds like poetry to me, like they rhyme! Every stanza would kinda rhyme with the last one…

  • Christopher Kulik

    Did anyone else note the irony that NASA’s Curiousity landed the exact same weekend of the release of the TOTAL RECALL remake?

  • Gallahalt

    Mike and Jay should totally do something similar to rifftrax. It’d be a real blast to hear them riffing on something like these spoof movies as you watch them.

  • Can we get a clip just of Mike attacking Jay with the styrofoam, and
    his awkward yet strangely intense assaults, and his stupid fucking face,
    and those spitting, grunting expletives as the little foam boards break apart? I swear to god, I’m in tears just from that whole thing.

  • Mel Brooks, ware are you when we need you? Great Review guys.

  • Indiana Jones 4 is a close second, but Prometheus made me so furious that I had to give up reviewing movies.

  • Max

    I would pay to see the “Fart poop in the pants”, the movie.

  • WRONG! The way Adblock works is the advertisers never know their ad is blocked so if they were paying for every view the video gets. they’d still pay out even if everyone used adblock.
    If they’re paying by the click then if you weren’t going to ever click the advert (and seriously who does?) then it doesn’t make a difference.

  • Brendan Long

    This is actually one of my favorite episodes for some reason.. Seriously, it’s amazing.

  • Bob

    Loved the discussion on what makes a parody good. I’m a huge fan of Airplane and The Naked Gun films, and it’s sucked that so many parody films can’t duplicate what those films have achieved.

  • Duarte Boventura

    I liked this review a lot. I wish you guys would do more reviews of awful movies, instead of movies that we already know you’re going to love like Django Unchained. That way, when you give a movie a good review, its unexpected and it makes me really want to see the movie. Like Dredd, I thought it was going to be terrible, but you guys’ review convinced me to see it and now I’m really happy I did, its one of the best movies I saw last year. Plus its more funny and entertaining when you trash talk on bad movies.

  • HaydnHarry

    The South Park episode ‘Startled’ is a good example of parody when it’s funny, awesome Randy episode

  • The “black people would leave a haunted house” joke was much better when it was 30 seconds of Eddie Murphy’s standup 30 years ago.

  • deerstop

    As for me, I love Schwarz in every role 😉

  • drhploveboat

    I thought Cedric The Entertainer was dead….

    no really, I thought he was dead….

  • Poppasketti

    No, no…
    I really like your line for a reason that I can’t quite put my finger on. Hm… 😀

  • Maddison

    that’s bernie mac YOU RACIST

  • AJ

    Poop In The Pants: The Movie. Take my money NOW!

  • Mister_Misinformed

    they did for Star Wars Episode I

  • SomeoneElseTookDude

    When does Poop in the Pants come out on RLM?

  • Kevin

    It saddens me that I enjoyed white chicks

  • cool

    TOTAL RECALL?! How can everyone forget about that! Consider that a divorce, or My name is not Quaid! Man that was awesome!

  • KnowsWhatThey’reTalkingAbout

    As someone who works for one of the biggest internet companies and works with both search and display advertising – that’s absolutely false. Adblock does not trigger an impression for ad positions that it blocks. Many display ads these days are not pay-per-click but pay-per-impression, as they simply want you to see the ad (a click would be a bonus). So blocking ads absolutely hurts site revenue and even traffic quality ratings of sites, which means the site is likely to get less revenue for the people who DON’T block ads because their site’s quality rating goes down as ads vanish into the mist when scheduled to be served there, and reported impression numbers are lower than they should be.

    It’s actually a really bad thing you do to websites when you adblock them. It’s little better than software piracy if you think about it. Rationalize it all you want, blame the advertisers, blame the sites, but it’s your choice to take revenue away from the people serving you content for free.

  • Check your facts

    When I saw a commercial for it, it said “A Haunted House” (from the makers of Scary Movie)

    So yeah – the title doesn’t matter. They’re going to notify you somehow that it’s related.

  • S G

    There ought to be a law regarding “80s-style” action flicks. If you want to do a movie like that, you should be obligated to use real squibs. Is it really just a question of $$s or are these filmmakers too dumb to see how those PlayStation-intro-looking bloodspurts ruin the experience? Just look at those silly Expendables-movies… Stallone *really* should know better, having starred in a movie that had some of the best squibwork since “Wild Bunch”. (First Blood Part 2).

  • zeitguest

    damn straight. it could be so fantastic. aside from all the dumbth in the film, there’d be plenty of opportunity for comparison to other alien movies, classics like Forbidden Planet and Planet of the Vampires… I am keeping the faith they’re doing it. (and I believe this based on uh…. that I believe it…)

    however longbit takes to make a kickass plinkett review of prometheus, absolutely take that time, I prefer supercool later to okay now.

  • Al

    Jay and Mike you fucks! You got your lousy sardonic and dry jokes from The Complete Retard’s Guide to Irony and Sarcasm from The Discount Self Help Book Rack in Joizee! I know because I SOLD IT TO YOU!!!

  • MonkeyKing1969

    For a story to be a story, it must consist of a character being changed by events of the story. Stories maybe multi-faceted with multiple events, the story might use literary devices & tropes in a specific way through a spectacular perspective, but the story is created only from a character being changed by an event or events. It is not enough for characters to exist or events to occur to or around them. Those are not stories; they are merely situations. They may be attention-grabbing situations with compelling characters thinking and saying interesting things, but they are just situations. Yet, even the best situation is not a story. Something has to happen, and through that some character has to change because of it.

    If we use that idea against any movie – Haunted House, Screw Balls, Transformers 2, or even 2001: A Space Odyssey we can easily see which have stories and which do not. We can also start to see where some films slide into showing more situations they story…cough cough Micheal Bay.

    I think we can easily say that Haunted House is full of situations, but very few of them add together to make a story

  • Meester Smeeth

    It’s a bit of an easy target, I guess, being that there really is so much wrong with it, and that’s before you even get into the bloated pig’s ear that was the marketing campaign.
    I suppose one thing to take into account is that Mike Stoklasa was a big fan of Star Trek and Star Wars, something which drove him to review the TNG films and the prequels.
    If he doesn’t have a similar love for the Alien universe that he does for ST and SW then he might think why bother?
    But then again, if Baby’s Day Out and Cop Dog are worth his time… even if it’s just for a laugh, even if it’s just to point out how stupid Prometheus’ haters are for some reason, I NEED to hear Plinkett’s opinion on the matter because I have no life.

  • Ghost Bitch

    His or yours? I know it made me want to masturbate, nothing to do with being turned on by it, it was just a reminder that I wanted to anyway.

  • Mister_Misinformed

    Jay at 12:05: “Is that what you are when you recommend good movies? That automatically makes you a hipster? […] I just enjoy watching movies that don’t suck.” Followed by recommending we spend our money on watching “The Last Stand.”

  • guest

    Did you miss the part where he says the movie is enjoyable because of how bad it is? Or when he says he wouldn’t recommend paying to see it in a theater?

    Don’t complain merely for the sake of complaining. It just makes you look stupid.

  • Mister_Misinformed

    Knee-jerk defensiveness makes you look quite thoughtful on the other hand.

  • Aside from the special effects, like you mention and most movies suffer from these days, this reminded me of the classic 80s Arnie films that followed the same old formula. I had to agree that the return to the simplicity of the era where action films tried to be nothing more than excuses to be action films. It was classic Arnie and I loved it for that reason alone.

  • Yeah, guys, *I* could have reviewed this movie for you without bothering to have seen it. There was nothing in the trailers that would have made me want to see this … I guess we should thank you for taking one for the team … but we would have forgiven you for giving it a pass.

    On another note MaMa was pretty awesome, with only a few minor issues, you really should have spent your time with that.

  • penis_butt

    I like that you’re dropping the “storyline” more and actually doing movie reviews. This is a positive development.

  • b

    Fuck you .I will adblock the shit out of the internet.

  • Dictarium

    Someone should definitely make a kickstarter for “Fart, Poop in the Pants: The Movie”.

  • I like the new segment, i couldn’t stop laughing.

  • He should have done the same thing in “The Haunted Mansion”

  • What do you mean?

  • Jorge Locas

    Walk Hard is a good spoof.

  • Oh my gaaaaahd Jay broke Mike!

  • Harveysbro

    I’m trying to figure out which beer that is with the green label I cant seem to find it anywhere

  • Robert

    Its like Independence Day but not as good or well done but it was just as unoriginal.

  • You got to do Slap Shot.

  • Please make Fart, Poop in the Pants: The Movie with the level of production values in your parody cutaway stuff. It would be hilarious.

  • Fartliker

    I laughed at the fart when you guys made comments about the lowest common denominator 🙂

  • fuck you, it’s February!

  • Steven


  • 2 boners worth

    I second that

  • arjumand

    Love that Police Squad line!

    My favourite comes from the Airplane movies:

    “Surely you can’t be serious?”

    “I AM serious. And don’t call me Shirley.” I miss you, Leslie Nielsen.

  • Anon

    Personally I only like good parody, and the only way you can make a good parody is if you have an unending love or an unending hate for a film or whole genre.

  • Koreish

    What you guys don’t seem to understand is that all these spoof movies are leading up to a spoof movie of the spoof movies. All of these movies are building up to that and that my friends is the construction of a great joke. /s

  • guy

    They review DVDs and VHSs all the time. Something good? Just once?

  • guy

    I was just glad someone finally pointed out how no one uses that word properly, anymore.

    How dare you like something I’ve never heard of!

  • Christopher Kulik

    Really? Just me?

  • Movie 43 review is your best to date.

  • movies freaking SUCK ASS

  • gæst

    I would love to see “Poop in the pants: the movie” please make that movie!

  • I would watch Jay’s movie

  • Pixelsmack

    Oh? Ohhhhhhh.

  • The only one of those movies I’ve seen is Meet the Spartans. It had exactly the kinds of things Jay was talking about. At least it also had a few actual jokes though.

  • Aaron

    I liked the Expendables movies

  • Sigh

    Fuck Nick Swardson, talentless fucker.

  • Jorge Lucias

    It’s gonna be great.

  • DasBoot

    Totally. Hipsters are a specific shitty, irony obsessed, faux-sub culture for bored rich college kids. It does not mean anyone who likes something outside the mainstream. Listening to new industrial/ebm bands is no longer mainstream in the US but that does not make one a hipster, it makes one a rivet-head…who wants to curb-stomp hipsters.

  • TioSamuel

    Poop in the Pants: The Movie would be #1 at the box office on opening weekend. Write it Jay.

  • Jim Campbell

    That whole film is just prelude to the climactic scene, when the film’s worst actor ritually beheads the film’s best actor. It really wears its values on its sleeve.

  • DillonMcDougald

    …Has anyone ever noticed that Mike looks a lot like Sips’ avatar from the Yogscast? Because frankly, the resemblance is uncanny…

  • Robby

    Mike sounds miserable after seeing both these movies though. I don’t think he did it for the lolz. And yes, I have watched all of the episodes of Half in the Bag dozens of times. So I’m not missing the point.

  • Brian

    “Hey look! Pikachu just got eaten by Garfield! Then Garfield had to go see Raplh the Dog at the veterinarian’s Hospital when he got electrocuted! And Ralph the Dog said, “I guess it’s pointless to try shock therapy! : D”

  • Is it only me who thinks Steve looks like a plumber, more hairy Vin Diessel?

  • thomas

    The sudden exposure to hitting someone over the head cause Mike to suddenly become his alter ego, Mr. Plinkett.

  • john

    I’m with Mike on this one I couldn’t tell if they were really trying to be funny or not but the movie definitely fell flat. Only entertaining part was Arnold. But I’m a fan of his.

  • They could use the money to finish Space Cop.

  • blackmassa

    This movie looks mad funny. I think these crackers are just racist.

  • Now I Get It

    Now that I’ve looked Sips’ avatar up? Yeah, there’s some of that, except Mike needs two new old timey Disney eyes.

  • Belisario

    jaja you said that this crackers are racist I hope youre kidding

  • VasiddisaV

    You guys cite Scary Movie as the first of the modern parody films, and while I do basically agree, I would like to note that “Don’t Be A Menace to South Central While (god damn, why am I still typing this fucking title) Drinking Your Juice in the Hood” was kind of the precursor even to that, obviously spoofing the 90’s urban films.

  • Graceless

    … where did the Terminator poster on the wall go?

  • Martín Galarza Flores

    I love when Mike just bursts out laughing at the stupidity of Jay’s theoretical parody movie. We never actually see Mike and Jay as friends who actually hang out and like each other, they just discuss movies and act hilariously badly in the story segments of Half in the Bag.

    But then they just laugh together and you really get a sense of them being pals, just good friends. It’s nice. I laughed loudly at that.

  • Joe

    I can’t believe nobody has pointed out that when they put up all those spoof movies on the screen one of them was “I am Sam” I laughed so hard at that.

  • Joe

    Also it’s worth noting that when Jay says “we could have not seen this movie and done the same review” I think this moment was the spawn of the “movie 42” review.

  • Peter Sells Heirs

    This spoof movie is way ahead of them


  • Go Arnie

    I just got around to seeing The Last Stand and all I can really say is, I’ve missed Arnold. The movie is pretty bad and it’s forgettable and Arnold looks old and pretty much everything Jay and Mike say is spot on … the nostalgia factor included.

    Not having Arnold for a few years has sort of made me realize how important it is to have a movie star like him. His movies have never really been the best, but they’ve had their place and I, for one, have missed them. I hope to see more movies from him and I really really hope they’ll be different from the Expendables.

  • Sphincter

    You guys missed out on Mama. It was actually a really excellent and fresh take on a ghost story. I went in expecting to not like it and was pleasantly surprised. It has some problems, but it was certainly creative.

  • Akeuw

    A bit critical on the spoof movies. In reality they are aimed for kids and adolescents. It just goes to show that movies ‘for adults’ are seldom actually for adult minds.

  • Akeuw

    Friedberg and Seltzer.

    What do you know, Jews!

  • Sean O’Rourke

    So I’m a recent fan of your channel and analysis so I’m playing catchup…any idea why this review is down? Thanks.

  • Damian

    I just watched this. I totally agree with Jay on this one. Definitely better watching with a bunch of friends and laughing at it than watching it in the theater. But I’m confused because the version I saw was rated R and I didn’t notice as many cg fake blood squibs. Mostly everything looked practical to me. Is the theatrical version different than the one i saw?

  • Grackene

    Thumbs up for Weird Al reference.

    I’ll donate actual money for a Poop in the Pants movie!!

  • Joe

    And usually he seems more relaxed to me. It’s weird for me to agree with Jay over Mike, because Jay seems to usually have higher artistic standards, but is usually more about the fun of the movie, but here it seems like Jay is relaxed and having fun and Mike is more prudish.

  • Akeuw

    My IQ is 140 and I am racist, homophobic, and misogynistic.

    Who is low brow now? hue hue.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Someone should get on writing Fart! Poop in The Pants: The Movie ASAP

  • Soundguy Furstie

    Just realized that Jay’s comment about having friends over and yelling at the screen is Best of the Worst foreshadowing, albeit unintentional.

  • Soundguy Furstie

    Aw damn I was shitfaced when I made that comment. I messed up guys.

  • Crikey Mate Down Under Aussie

    Jay! I’m from the future! Grow your beard asap!

  • Jonathan Jimenez

    Thank you for finally mentioning that Date movie is the worst piece of film ever. It was the only movie to make me furious as how bad it was.

  • Shqiptarja

    Movies aimed at kids don’t have to be bad, and don’t get a free pass just because they’re aimed at kids. Toy Story for instance (all 3 of them) is a children’s film, but even as an adult it is still good.

    Also, most of the ‘spoof movies’ are fairly hard PG-13 movies (and some are rated R) with even Disaster Movie having words like ‘dyke’, ‘whore’ and ‘shit’. Also, many of the referances are to films that are most certainly not for children; how many kids and adolescents will get the unfunny No Country for Old Men referance in Disaster Movie?

  • Shqiptarja

    Your Japanese is awful by the way

    – Mike and Jay aren’t your friends or classmates or workmates, so the honorific ‘kun’ is wrong. You would use ‘san’ or probably no honorific at all because they aren’t Japanese.
    – You can drop the 私たちは because it’s obvious who you are talking about. It just sounds stiff and awkward.
    – It should be あなたたちbecause it’s plural.
    – 愛する is far too strong. Even many married couples don’t use this word to describe each other. You would use 好き or 好きです

  • Shqiptarja

    I agree on Scary Movie 1, the referances are mostly pretty tasteful, and you don’t have to get them to find the movie funny (although it helps to have seen Scream). Scary Movie 2 on the other hand was godawful, and just relies on gross-out humor. I actually think Scary Movie 3, while far from great or even good, is better than Scary Movie 2 – again you don’t have to get the referances (I have never seen the Ring) in order to find it funny.

  • bassbait

    My friends like movies like this. I was going to try to get inside their heads and explain why they like it, but I have no explanation. My friends are fucking dumb and I think I need new friends.

  • Drakkenmensch

    Marlon Wayans is the black Adam Sandler.

  • LameSame

    Sounds like you’ve had a real breakthrough. Glad we could help.

  • LameSame

    Do the bludgeoning segment again, please. Thanks!

  • SqualrusWalrus

    Did you find new friends?

  • bassbait

    a couple.

  • SqualrusWalrus

    That’s rad! 🙂

  • SqualrusWalrus

    I really like Jay standing up to Mike. Good for you Jay.

  • Adam Baldwin

    Two good spoof movies: Not Another Teen Movie and The Comebacks. They both have some corny bits that tend to permeate spoof movies, but they’re ultimately pretty good.

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