Half in the Bag: The Hateful Eight and The Ridiculous 6 (sort of)

January 8, 20161,918 Comments

Still stranded on Mt. Everest, Mike and Jay discuss Adam Sandler’s latest film The Hateful Eight as well as Quentin Tarantino’s latest film The Ridiculous 6.


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • empathylouis

    Fuck You, Frauds, It’s January! When’s Space Cop coming out?

  • bassbait

    I see a light. I feel a soft, warm glow. Could it be? Do I see content in the distance?!? I’m walking towards the light. It’s all around me!! Content!!!!!!

  • MHJ

    An Adam Sandler Special? Alright!

    http://i.imgbox.com/xEv6pPaj.gif

  • RickMoranis

    OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD IT’S CONTENT!

  • bassbait

    is Jay working on a porno stache?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Now, the Rickdickulous Six – thats something I’d see. Amirite?

  • RickMoranis

    “I always wanted a centerfold of Tim Roth.”

    -Mike Stoklasa

  • RPK

    I hated the hateful eight. My least favorite Tarantino film.

  • The gringo get shot ey! Blanco diablo made this. Why Tarantino? Cancelar la suscripción!

  • RickMoranis

    I feel it too….

  • RLMkeepitup

    a western full of nefarious characters describes both films

  • bassbait

    15:52 “for black of a better term”

    #BLM

  • RolandDeschain1 .

    HATEFUL EIGHT is very good, often great but has a number of very ‘broad’ performances. Probably in keeping with the theatrical nature of the story.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Hateful Eight – is that the porno title, too?

  • RolandDeschain1 .

    The spotlights Jay talks about are not Tarantino, they are cinematographer Robert Richardson’s trademark.

    Just look at CASINO or any of the films he shot for Oliver Stone. There are spotlights all over them.

  • RolandDeschain1 .

    That’s what I call my penis on a good day. The rest of the time I call it ‘The Soggy Six’. Or, if I’ve been swimming, ‘The Turgid Two’.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    now I am content.

  • bassbait

    I am content!!! It has surrounded me.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Adam Sandler is a genius! And Tarantino will defend his work, physically if necessary.

  • bassbait

    Kubrick getting name-dropped makes me happy at all times. Unless the name-dropping is as positive as bird droppings.

  • RolandDeschain1 .

    Sandler very nearly played ‘The Bear Jew’ in INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS.

    That’s who the role was originally written for, at least.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    I can only express my feelings through this visual: http://i.imgur.com/pOoOUHo.gif
    Now excuse me while I fetch the good cocaine for this special episode.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • RLMkeepitup

    Nick Nolte and Adam Sandler talking with interruptions by donkey doo covered Rob Schnieder/stereotype #omg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is Jay now going to wear high waist pants and fuck the voice of a famous actress?

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    they shoulda complained to the the theater. They probably would have fixed the film projection..

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    plus what n00b theater did they go to?

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    A character that loves murdering white people sounds relatable and likable to me!

  • DanceOfBirther

    I was going to go on a lengthy rant about how using nearly 60-year-old lenses to produce a 2.76 image was a weird and stupid idea because most movie screens are fixed-width and don’t even bother to use masking, coupled with Star Wars being booked on all the bigger screens that might be fixed-hight, but I’ve had too much beer.

  • bassbait

    that was some good content. Now, back to The Simpsons

  • why_wolf

    So they just pitched Weekend at Bernies with Adam Sandler as Bernie and didn’t notice right? Right, that just happened, I’m not crazy?

  • DanceOfBirther

    The Hung Eight and The Stacked Six sound better to me. But knowing recent trends in porn parody titles, it will probably be called Not Hateful Eight: A XXX Parody.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Donkey Diarrhea is also a move I like to make with my life partner.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I suppose the musical will be called “A Hatful of Hate”. I’m ok with that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Someone had to fucking do it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvlidqBZpxY

  • Paulus Nuns

    Your mexican is getting better and better.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re more racist than Rob Schneider.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    “Oh Ontario, oh Jennifer Jason Leigh.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mike accidentally wrote the plot of The Descendants for Sandler’s next film.

  • bassbait

    Sandler should be in a Johnny Got His Gun remake, so that way he gets to lie in bed for a whole movie, and we don’t have to see his fucking face for a whole movie!

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    Was it originally direct to netflix or was that just after the Native American actor walkout?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It almost seems like they’re baiting Adam Sandler to come out and do a Max Landis, otherwise they’re done talking about his movies.

  • tOmy`

    I am seeing exactly next to zero Space Cops in this.

    And to think I almost decided on thinking about paying you for this shit…

  • Patrick Batman

    Fun fact: Nick Nolte turned into a pile of rocks in Ang Lee’s Hulk (2003)

  • bassbait

    what do you think are the odds… 20 million to one?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I like those odds – let it ride! Once around! It’s better than goofy golf! Oh no.. I’m Richard Dreyfussing… I need help! I need an adult! I need an Opus!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    You can’t see the 70mm roadshow on an IMAX screen. Why? A little thing called Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

  • tOmy`

    This is the second episode ever I can’t watch. I am a massive QT fan and I don’t wanna have anything spoiled / talked about.

    So as per TFA review, you all fanboys can shut your traps and talk about everything except this movie. Thank you.

    (The first review I couldn’t watch was Furious 7. Wait a minute… Furious 7… Hateful 8… OH MY GOD, HALF LIFE WAS AN INSIDE JOB!)

  • bassbait

    IMAX is one of the most horrible movie-going experiences I ever had. So this ain’t a loss to me.

  • Danger Dave

    I assumed the title Hateful Eight was not a reference to Magnificent Seven, but Cutthroats Nine, a movie it resembles in many plot particulars.

  • bassbait

    ok I’ll talk about something else.

    I really loved that scene of TFA where Finn and Poe had to escape the star destroyer. That shit was great! I like the friendship that formed along the way especially.

  • tOmy`

    It was indeed very… movie. I also liked that the main character didn’t have penis. That sold me on the whole thing.

  • bassbait

    Finn didn’t have a penis?!?

  • tOmy`

    Yea, JJ tried to very subtly subvert the stereotype, so instead of giving him a big black dick, he gave him nothing.

  • bassbait

    in the Disney universe, nobody has penises. This is not a bad thing.

  • tOmy`

    Please, compare this to QT’s approach: In the midst of SJW world, Tarantino chose to ask the important question:

    “Guys, I know we all love feet, but have you seen Jamie’s balls?”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    One thing I like about Tarantino is the fact he doesn’t try to be like other filmmakers which is refreshing. For example David O Russell is a director is trying to be like Scorsese to the point when it’s extremely jarring, case in point Joy. You can see all of Tarantino’s influences but he’s one of those people who beautifully brings them together when it becomes unique. Kinda like Cowboy Bebop or Star Wars.

  • Patrick Batman

    *big black dingus

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    No, Jay. There isn’t any more to it. Mike’s reaction is precise and on target.

  • tOmy`

    That suddenly changes the whole Anie / Fake Keira situation:

    “I am a senator. It is forbidden.”
    “I don’t have genitals. It’s literally pointless to spend time with you.”

    [Backdrop: CGI waterfalls]

  • bassbait

    http://puu.sh/moTOZ.jpg

    Finn will be in the 69th installment, of course!

  • bassbait

    you mean his reaction that donkey diarrhea is funny? Because yea, he’s spot on.

  • tOmy`

    He is also the type of a guy who puts a hardcore hip-hop track into a movie from 1858.

    He might be Jesus. You know, if Jesus was kinda dick.

  • bassbait

    he definitely was.

  • tOmy`

    Porn: Using hashtags before it was #cool.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Only he can do that and do it right unlike that fucker who made The Item.

  • Tanis

    I thought it was related to Cutthroat Nine as well.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of stoning cheerleaders:

    I saw Death Proof 5 times. Twice in a cinema.

  • Tanis

    I really like Hateful Eight even though the plot is utterly incoherent. The movie could have been solved as soon as Kurt Russell walked in the door.
    Everything else made up for the plot hole though.

  • bassbait

    From now on, because I don’t like Tarantino that much and have no interest in either of these films, I’m just going to swap out “Hateful Eight” with “Ridiculous Six” in my mind just to entertain myself. Hateful Eight looks great!

  • biff

    So when Rich was jerking off with the R2-D2 toy, it turns out he was actually doing an impersonation of Mike and Jay.

  • fred

    I’ll catch it on dvd, since theater cattle annoy the shit out of me.

  • fred

    There was just that one cheerleader.

  • fred

    “I wus in the hryundfnsmdm when the hyumheyshsysj”

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    And the two probable armed men would, you know, just stare at Russell’s body on the ground. Sure.

  • GodSentUs

    Bravo Jay on the weight loss. Watched some older RLM and you’ve really improved buddy.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    It’s a lot of fun while you’re watching it, despite being a pretty second-rate movie.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i’m pissed off Krampus was alredy out of theater not even a month after it,s release so i didn’t get a chance to see it.

  • Palpatine

    Comatose in Paradise should be the title of Adam Sandler’s next movie.

  • BedWetterMedia

    You’re telling me CGI was used to make a pile of rocks and George Lucas WASN’T involved?!?

  • bassbait

    50 First Deaths?

  • Bubble Lipped Tar Baby

    Really hope Hateful Eight is good. Haven`t been impressed by Tarantino in quite some time and I`m hoping his new one packs the punch his early work did.

  • Tanis

    That’s the thing though (spoilers for other people)
    He came in alone (and first) and put his back to all of the gang members. They literally could have shot him, freed the woman and then got the rest no problem.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I recorded the fight between Tommy Wi and Samurai cop for you sick fucks. It isn’t the greatest. This is the first speech.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xf3fU37KxE

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    So for years I’ve wanted to do a Jimmy Buffet film called “Cheeseburger in Paradise.” The plot is that a young Jimmy is orphaned as his mother dies of stomach cancer. Her dying words encourage young Jimmy to be happy and pursue his dreams of singing. She promises to meet him in heaven in the end and share a cheeseburger in paradise with. Margaritaville would be used in an emotional montage as he masters the guitar and yuppies. Final scene/end credits: Jimmy eats a cheeseburger with his mom in heaven as the titular song plays.

  • RLMkeepitup

    My God. That both went on far too long and yet not long enough

  • Domo

    This is the only movie review show where I get information or opinion about things like aspect ratio, type of theater viewing experience, film/digital, and weird stuff like that.

    I mean, who am I kidding, I don’t watch anything else but Red Letter Media, but it’s nice that those aspects of the movie going experience are included from time to time.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    There are another 5 minutes at least of the fight/speech. It is a delightful train wreck.

  • Michael Collins

    Looking forward to h8ful, hope my multiplex will show it in 70mm..

    Btw, has anyone mentioned star wars yet?

  • bassbait

    yes. Star… fucking… wars…

    did you see Empire Strikes Back??

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Jack and Jill Kevorkian?

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I don’t like QT that much and think of him as a guy that makes fun homages to films I love more. Hateful 8 and Deathproof are his best. I also count True Romance, because it is very much his film.

  • bassbait

    Mr. Deads?

  • Michael Collins

    Is that the one with the light sabers?

  • bassbait

    no, that’s Attack of the Clones.

  • John Bigbootay

    Tarantino has been on a SJW kick for too long. Way too much white guilt…and male guilt, for that matter. His movies just bore the hell out of me. And after watching The Force Awakens… I mean, holy cow. I’m burnt out on that stuff. Although I admire his loyalty to film over digital. It really is a big difference.

  • bassbait

    If there’s one thing that I’d never imagine being said, it would be “Tarantino is too PC”.

    Maybe he should have donkey diarrhea in his movies too?

  • Palpatine

    Jimmy Buffet was the best actor in Jurassic World after all.

  • Commander X

    QT is a posterboy of modern filmmaking: never educated formally, his mind a soup of pornography, cocaine and shitty movies he obsesses over while getting blazed in front of the TV.

    QT movies really should be some kind of guilty pleasure like watching a exploitation movie or 80s action movies from companies like Cannon, but his cultural cachet is larger than ever. His dialogue is entirely riffs on genre conventions, and ultimately makes everyone sound like a coked-up video rental clerk.

  • bassbait

    even this comment isn’t as negative as I would say. I’d go as far as to say Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill are shitty movies. But I haven’t seen the rest because those movies were shitty and I don’t want to watch more of his awful dialogue.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    If anyone tells you that he ISN’T any of these things, they are full of shit. He makes fun rehashes of genre pics and there is nothing wrong with that.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Palpy, please consider backing Buffet to replace the Golem guy as Supreme Leader Snoke in Star Wars 8.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Krampus was a really fun film with a good cast. I totally agree about the sound design in the film.

  • Adzl33t

    Mike you privileged hack, you didn’t mention the racism of Sandler’s sclock :p

    Eh I like Taratino last movie, but I feel Tarantino is getting sloppy

  • Adzl33t

    I think Tarantino just wants to be Black

  • Rafael Castilho Monteiro

    there are mature filmmakers talking about race issues. guys like lars von trier in MANDERLAY, like ulrich seid in PARADISE LOVE.

    and them theres tarantino and his immature self hating whit guilty mindset who is really, really fucked up.

    in hateful eight i got the felling that he really wanted to be the guy sucking samuel jacksons cock but was shy because hes too fat.

  • John Bigbootay

    PC loaded with violence. That confuses people. But if you’re going to come up with banal stories about how Nazis are bad, m’kay?…and slavery is like bad an’ stuff, and running down annoying women on the highway is not good, then you gotta spice it up with gore.

    The best scenes in recent Tarantino movies, like Mike said, are the ones where Tarantino is doing the least Tarantino-cliche. And like Jay said, that’s why Jackie Brown is one of his more interesting films.

  • John Bigbootay

    You just had to go ahead and make my point better than me.

  • Rafael Castilho Monteiro

    listen heres all you hacks: WATCH BONE TOMAHAWK.

    its western with cannibals and kurt russell and richard jenkins and matthew fox and patrick wilson and cannibals, evil cannibals.

    theres violence and gore to make hateful eight look like a icarly and also got nice real cool lovely characters, not this toxic execuse of a movie.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Bone Tomahawk and We Are Still Here are this year’s best horror films. Krampus, Knock, Knock (if you like camp) and Green Inferno round out my top 5. Last Shift was okay as a sort of homage to Assault on Precinct 13 and It Follows would have been great with a cast of human beings with emotions, not cold robotic hipsters.

  • Rafael Castilho Monteiro

    didnt get the hype around it follows either. nice concept but like you said an annoying group of characters. and the pool scene was a mess, didnt understand, didnt try too, i was already waiting for the movie to end.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Patrick Wilson and Matthew Fox were fucking great. Fox was shockingly great in a moment of perfect casting. David Arquette was great too, but not enough of him. Kurt Russell is always awesome. Jenkins and the indian dude from Fargo Season 2 were great as well. Can’t recommend this film enough.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Quentin Tarantino in real life would be my hero if he didn’t have such an embarrassing black fetish.

    Quentin Tarantino the filmmaker is a boring hack who peaked with Reservoir Dogs.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    The core idea is so great for a teenage killer flick. But the odd choice to “make it timeless” with different eras and the cast killed it. Score was okay, cinematography was solid, monster was so wonderful. The sex idea sounded good on paper, but I kind of wish it had just been a secret or rumor they heard that the audience is deprived of.

  • Rafael Castilho Monteiro

    in a fair world this movie would get an oscar nomination for his original screenpla and supporting actor for jenkis. what an adorable character, holly shit. its so different from the toxicity from hateful eight. and saying that make the movie sound too warn and fuzzy but its a freking hellride, a nightmare. lol

    and i really enjoy the slow pacing, giving time to every one of the cast shine until the shit hit the fence. its was a very european vibe almost, and it was curious to see that in a movie with an all american dude like kurt russell.

  • Rafael Castilho Monteiro

    i tought the ending should be her becoming a real whore and just spreading the curse like a madwoman, like fuck this shit, i will take the whole world with me.

  • memory vision dark crystal twa

    no he’s just black curious

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Then a cloud.

  • Adam Allen

    got some bad news guys… Rediculous Six is the most watched movie on netflix.

  • bassbait

    I really don’t give a fuck about Tarantino. I wanted to make a joke where I could mention donkey diarrhea.

    Complaining about things being too PC has gotten pretty old. Fury Road is apparently “too PC” even though it’s not even the most PC film in the series. Force Awakens is “too PC” even though a lot of what that movie is doing is carry-over stuff from the rest of the series, A New Hope excluded (as Mike mentioned in his review).

    Idk, maybe people can stop focusing on whether or not something is “PC” and start thinking about whether or not it’s good. And that’s where I stand on Tarantino – his movies just aren’t really that good, political bullshit aside.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sounds like something AWESOM-O would come up with.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    One of the great and detrimental (to a mainstream audience) things about Bone Tomahawk is that it suffers from the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre/Halloween” problem. By that, I mean people assume a larger level of graphic violence than is actually shown. The tone of the film does that. (the splitting scene near the end is the most violent moment, though barely shown)

    That is a testament to how wonderfully crafted it is. It is a simple story, executed perfectly. No wasted moments, just tension and mounting dread.

    I watched it right after Hateful 8 and it was indeed the better western drama. It is lean and concise and one of the best movies of the year. Russell was great in both.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I agree, “survival” should have meant suffering and degradation.

  • bassbait

    how is that bad news?

  • Rafael Castilho Monteiro

    i think you can divide QT career in:

    – reservoir dog, pulp fiction and jackie brown: his prime, very fresh, very cool, able to steal ideas and turn them into something special.

    – them there kill bill, wich is great until you realize how much it steals from lady snowblood. but ok, watchable movies.

    them theres death proof thats kinda of an anomaly: it was supposed to be a shorter movie inserted in grindhouse but grow to become a crap. fuck it.

    – and them comes this new moment, when he tries to TALK ABOUT THE ISSUES. and this is the worst, because he doesnt have the intelligence to do it. and when he has people asking questions about it he act like a dick, like he did with that indian british journalist.

    if he was a mature filmmaker he would have the confidence to defend his point of views but hes just a nerd with some talent and a lot of luck for having the weinteins turning all his dreams into reality.

    and the critic blow him out of proportion, mike says he was thiking the movie as a CHESS GAME. lol

    (or samuel jackson.)

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    The other thing, this is pretty much “Eaters of the Dead/ 13th Warrior” but it is so much better. It really should be in the awards conversation, but I don’t need a corrupt institute to validate a near perfect film! 😉

  • John Bigbootay

    It’s distracting, and eye-rolling, no matter how much I’d like to pretend it doesn’t exist. The problem with Fury Road wasn’t that Max had a female partner. It’s that she was an absolutely boring female. Basing a character only on a tough expression and no personality is crap. Max had no personality either and hardly any lines. So you could say, in that movie, the boring was equal opportunity.

    The problem with The Force Awakens is the over the top attempt to make an awesome female lead to make up for the sins of Star Wars past, I guess. And in their limited way of thinking, the only idea they had was to make her perfect at everything. It’s too obvious. I never had to notice these things before because I never though Princess Leia was a weak character. I never though Aunty Entity was a weak character. And neither of them had to be perfect and beat up men through the whole movie.

  • memory vision dark crystal twa

    You ever hear the tragedy of Darth plagueis the wise?

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Kill Bill never shied from admitting it was a Lady Snowblood knockoff. That’s why it is great.

  • Rafael Castilho Monteiro

    the guy being cut in half is almost naturalistic in his approach, looks like a discovery doccumentary.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I didn’t want to spoil it, but yes, it was so practiced and clinical. It was far more shocking and unsettling than what Eil Roth tried to do with Green Inferno (which was still fun for fans of the genre).

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Well now you can, in IMAX with Star Wars the Force Awakens and Snoke! HUZZAH!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I’ve only seen a shitty pirated copy, but didn’t the music during his scene sound like the Plagueis story theme from Revenge of the Tshi?

  • bassbait

    Ok. I disagree with everything you said and don’t really care. Sorry. I thought Rey was fine, but if I didn’t like her as a character, all I have to say is “I don’t like the character”. I don’t need to piss and moan about how “Star Wars has gone PC!!!” when it already went in that direction a long ass time ago (in a galASSy far far away.)

    or to reiterate – “Idk, maybe people can stop focusing on whether or not something is ‘PC’ and start thinking about whether or not it’s good.”

    Complaints about “PC culture” are just too hollow to mean anything at this point, especially when people complain about it all the time, for any reason, even bordering on the absurd (again, a film with a rapist cult leader is somehow “too PC” because there was a female lead in it??)

  • Rafael Castilho Monteiro

    but 99,9% of people got no idea of how much it was. when i watch it lady snowblood at the first time i was HOLLY SHIT THESE JAPANESE DUDES ARE COPYING KILL BILL THIRTY YEARS BEFORE, THOSE HACKS.

  • Yuhaddabia “Big Shot” Dijna

    The problem with H8FUL EIGHT? Not enough brains.

  • Rafael Castilho Monteiro

    TRIVIA: this is the 8th movie from QT because he counts kill bill as just one movie.

    TRIVIA: you have to pay for two tickets to watch kill bill, one ticket for volume I, another for volume 2.

  • bassbait

    Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 isn’t a sequel either, it’s totally the same film!!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I’ve learned that Rafael has excellent tastes in movies today. 😀

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I agree. Now let’s watch that Psace Cop traller again.

  • bassbait

    Psace…

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Silent Night, Deadly Night two is so fucking awful it hurts…until the scene where it shows how he snapped and killed everyone.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Staying in.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have become content, the destroyer of boredom.

  • bassbait

    Y’see, that’s a quote from Oppenwiener, the famous creator of the atomic dildo.

  • Popo Bawa

    Naaaw, you’ve just got to be PERSUASIVE!

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I love Oppenheimer, did you know he tried to kill his tutor in college? Like, poison him?

  • Bubs

    So, living in Wyoming, I was excited to find out about the “Hateful Eight Road Show”, so I looked up the locations to see if I might find it somewhere nearby. Dear Quentin Tarantino: Next time you set a movie in fucking Wyoming and then do a Wild West Style Road Show to show it off maybe host an event in the fucking state your film takes place in. Then, after further research, they don’t even have viewings in the neighboring states of Nebraska, Idaho, and Montana. You know… the setting of the actual Wild West.

    Yippee Ki Ay, motherfootfucker.

  • Popo Bawa

    It would only be a fetish it was merely a quirk instead of such a thoroughly black, black world. The black world that a few of us others are merely employed as extras in, as a sort of existential joke.

  • bassbait

    Wyoming. Isn’t that the most boring state? My Gov’t teacher in high school very often talked shit on Wyoming.

  • Popo Bawa

    He’s had a transplant of black feet onto his otherwise pale body. I am not sure what to think.

  • bassbait

    he’s gonna get some good speed out of that!

  • Bubs

    Then he was probably a democrat and afraid of guns. Or just stupid. But no, the most boringest state is Idaho.

    Name another state with its own comic book hero. https://comiclists.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/wyoming-kid.jpg

  • bassbait

    I’ve been to Idaho.

    And yes he is a democrat. It was California, where everyone’s liberal as hell.

    I can’t name states with comic book heroes, but I *can* name states with trivia that’s actually interesting.

  • Bubs

    I used to live in San Francisco and I got into a debate with a guy about gun ownership (for the record I have no party affiliation). It made me wish I had a gun so that I could shoot him. But then I thought “Nah, that’d just prove him right.” So I stabbed him to death instead.

  • Bubs

    What are you talkin about? *SPOILER* *SPOILER* Channing Tatum’s brains were everywhere.

  • bassbait

    “I’d like a library card please.”

    “You have to prove you’re a citizen of New York!”

    So I stabbed him!

    – Emo Philips.

    And get ready to stab me, because I happen to be pretty much anti-gun.

  • Bubs

    I don’t care. It’s Mummerica. You can feel however you want. But guns aren’t going anywhere, so prepare for disappointment.

  • bassbait

    You’re right…

    *fade to black… gun shot*

  • Bubs

    To play devil’s advocate, the Lord of the Rings was a single movie told in 3 parts as well. Even the original books were all one book when first conceived, they were only split up for the dollah billz.

    Or you know, to support your theory of them being 2 separate movies, you can always just watch Kill Bill Vol. 2 and let me know how complete the story feels.

  • bassbait

    though the series would negate that premise if he intends to make a Vol. 3, unless of course Vol 2 doesn’t feel like the end of the “Kill Bill” series, her having killed Bill and all.

  • Bubs

    You deserve more credit for this.

  • Bubs

    Did you ever watch the version of ET where all the guns were replaced with Walkie-Talkies? And as a follow-up, did you feel it enhanced the movie experience?

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    (SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS.)
    I think that, in a lot of ways, Tarantino really is a genius, but a lot of his genius is sort of… misapplied?
    I think you could put me in the “liked-the-movie-but-didn’t-love-it” category. I think that Quentin Tarantino’s schtick is getting really old and this movie didn’t do all that much to shock or enthrall me. It seemed to set up a lot, but it really didn’t deliver much.
    Like, by having all of these people of disparate backgrounds in one spot, I thought that all of their philosophies would be explored in depth and that their individual worldviews would be the driving force of the conflict.
    But, no, they kind of abandoned that when the “who-dunnit” got started.
    So, was the mystery plot going to have any incredible revelations? No, not really. They were all gang members, all in cahoots. So the thing that you expected to be the answer… was the answer. (Plus, I hated Quentin’s narration. He actually seemed to be jerking himself off to how well he names chapters.)
    The thing that really bothered me about this movie that really bothered me was that Tarantino didn’t really do anything to elevate the archetypes that the characters represented– he just let them all kill each other.
    It had great dialogue, great performances (weeeell, Tim Roth sort of came across as “Christoph Waltz”-lite, but he did a darn good job) great direction, but it didn’t really have that much of a theme or emotional resonance to tie it all together, so it felt like less than the sum of its parts. And, yeah, it had some fucking great parts, but I don’t think it was a great movie.
    It was a good one, but it hasn’t really stuck with me in the few days since I’ve seen it.

  • bassbait

    I don’t tend to watch altered versions of movies. Except the version of Mulholland Drive that’s censored, though finding the uncensored version ain’t easy.

    And uh… the people with the guns in ET were the bad guys… so your point is kinda self-defeating.

  • Bubs

    I wasn’t making a point. If I were making a point, it would’ve been a good one. This was just a fun question. Don’t read into things I say anymore than surface level. I don’t do subtext.

  • bassbait

    Regardless, I’m not against movie violence and I’m not against gun props. I’m against guns. I’m also against altered versions of movies unless the altered version has a specific history to it that’s ok such as with Mulholland Drive where the censorship was at the lead actress’s request, and doesn’t impact the film significantly, actually it helps the film in a way, stylistically.

  • Bubs

    Yes. This.

    My least favorite part of the movie was the chapter where we see all the bad guys show up to the haberdashery. QT immediately sucks all the mystery out of the movie, and there’s still 40 minutes left after that. We see every single detail of what happened, and there’s nothing left to wonder about. It also introduces some plot holes. You mean to tell me they cleaned up ALL THAT FUCKING BLOOD in 4 hours? They couldn’t have done that in 4 days with a wagon full of bleach.

    The movie lacked a plot. It’s just character drama, which is fine, but once the who-dunnit was abandoned, there wasn’t all that much left.

  • Marvin

    I want to believe that this Half in the Bag is
    a) a return to the greatness of Half in the Bag and
    b) the review of Hateful 8 is proof that TFA is indeed a worthless movie which only feeds off the fame of Star Wars and
    c) that George Lucas might rightfully be offended of TFA because it’s a carbon copy of Star Wars (1977).

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I guess they’re just really thorough when it comes to cleaning up blood.
    Unless it’s on a chair. In which case, just throw a few sheets over that.

  • bassbait

    I do not understand how reviewing Hateful 8 proves anything about TFA??

  • Bubs

    What in the actual fuck are you talking about? None of those things are true outside of your head. None of them can be true because they don’t make sense and/or lack objectivity.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its a quote from Hindi. Racist!

  • Marvin

    I don’t know myself. It’s a proof that one shouldn’t talk before thinking.

  • Marvin

    Yes, you’re right. I just got up and so I wasn’t thinking much anyway.

  • Bubs

    Fair enough. Sometimes I poop out thoughts too.

  • Marvin

    Thanks.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    C) is valid. I can imagine Georges temper tantrum when he heard how well TFA was received.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWaLxFIVX1s

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    How many people are strangled to death each year? Its time to END! the Right to bare Arms.
    Wake up people The future is in your Hands.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Pity upvote because you live in a more boringer place than me.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I thought Shiva was American?!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Oppenheimer was a dirty Kraut, Jew! you racist! he just worked for the seppos.

  • Bubs

    I’ll happily take my quiet redneck mountain town over a rat infested poverty pit like San Francisco any day of the week. But thanks for the upvote! Remember to subscribe to my blog, get updates at Mashable, follow me on Fuckbook, fuck me on Twitter, and taste me on Swazzle!

    The fucked up part is that only one of those is made up!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its San Francisco isnt it? I knew it!

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Yah, I know, dude. Also had an evil murderous twin. Maybe that’s just comics.

  • bassbait

    I was going to make a masturbation joke about “the future is in your hands”, but I think you can already see it cumming.

  • Bubs

    More importantly, how many people are mauled to death every year? It’s time to end the right to Bear arms.

    http://s1.postimg.org/x577vehgf/Bear_ARms.png

  • bassbait

    Here’s a really good tip for writing lyrics that nobody will care about – use a real notebook (not computer) and write in PEN. That way you can’t erase your mistakes and you have to think for a bit before you write it down. I get really good first draft lyrics out of this method. Though they’re fairly “emo” and would make me look like a whiner… which is fair because I am a whiner.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Chuck

    Saw The Hateful 8 Twice in the Chicagoland area. The first time on the screen everyone said would be the best at The Music Box. Sure the screen was formatted properly (i.e. the proper aspect ratio) but it was SO SMALL. So I took a trip to a second theater which was an IMAX screen, but they didn’t play it on their actual large format IMAX screen but the small LieMAX screen. I guess Star Wars was on the big screen. The roadshow experience was sort of botched. I agree that it’s great for QT to film in 70mm, but in the end what’s the point other than for him to say he did it. I remember seeing Batman, Die Hard 2, and Far and Away on a 70mm screen in Chicago as a kid. The screen was huge, though only Far and Away was shot in 70mm. Sadly screens that can actually handle such a film are few and far between in 2015. It will probably never be seen how it was meant to be seen.

  • Chuck

    Well the movie isn’t really about the mystery and the characters are just sort of ciphers for his themes to be laid upon. This is Tarantinos third fairytale. The first being Inglorious Basterds, (how legends and propaganda can be used to shape what we believe) followed by Django Unchained (the birth of a legend), and now The Hateful 8 (Legends in their twilight years). Looking at it as just a whodunnit is missing half the movie. It’s about race relations, it’s about gender inequality and how we are not much further along now than we were at the end of the civil war.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    The music box projectionists know what they’re doing, too bad they didn’t put it on a bigger screen tho.

  • Chuck

    Well they had the proper projector as well, but it don’t mean a damn thing if the movie is the size of a postage stamp.

  • Like Icare

    Is it just me… or are Mike and Jay more… instagram purple?

  • bassbait

    I keep wondering why the color temperatures of HITB keep changing with each plotline. Maybe they’re only half hack-frauds, and actually care about post-production? Enough to make the audience uncomfortable with “I don’t like things that are different” syndrome.

  • Mike and Jay may be hack frauds but there is still good in them. I’ve sensed it. With the force, which I am inexplicably well-versed in, despite having lived my entire life in the metaphorical desert world of Southend-on-Sea, and never having been trained by a Jedi master.

    I love the way Jay can’t hold back his enthusiasm when he really likes a film, and Mike’s comprehensive technical knowledge of how movies are put together and what works and what doesn’t. It’s why I continue to watch because these reviews. Because they are made by people with an appreciation and a passion for cinema

    My highlight was Mike running out words to describe Adam Sandler’s latest effort but soldiering on regardless by inventing a new form of flag-less semaphore.

  • Like Icare

    So… you’re saying that they keep using the wrong kind of lights?

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/A-M9SGvCQAARjiv.jpg

  • bassbait

    Hang on, wait a second, enhance that image…

    http://puu.sh/mp8SB.jpg

  • Iggy Autry

    Gore. Mature. Yeah…

    I don’t want to say “mature” because I don’t think I’ve matured over time, but I have gotten tired of or bored with some things in film and TV over a long time of viewing, and over-the-top gore like Tarantino masturbates to doesn’t interest me any more.

    It’s why I virtually never even start – much less finish – a horror movie anymore. — When I was younger, before having watched many of them – I’d jump or screech or be shocked when the shock cut moment would happen – but now I don’t care, because I’ve been there and done that…

    I loved Natural Born Killers… It fit perfectly that time in American society and the mood I was at in college at the time… Now, I wouldn’t make it through 10 minutes of that film if I tried to watch it again…

    I can’t remember the name of the movie – but there was one of those throwback sex movies a couple of years ago – about sex addicts – but a mainstream movie with an executive masturbating mid-day and gorgeous woman who can’t stop doing the same at home — It reminded me of the 80s — but I did the 80s….. Maybe teens today were enthralled by this movie. I turned it off 20 minutes in….

    Inotherwords — I can’t bring myself to do Tarantino any more….

  • Like Icare

    No mustard? Heathens.

  • Jon

    Fun review 🙂

  • Domo

    Seems that Jay’s got a new “Strong mustache. Weird pedo beard.” thing going on with his face, just in time for this Hateful Eight review.

    You’re never gonna beat Kurt Russell’s mustache, Jay. No one can.

  • Joe Syxpac
  • Joe Syxpac

    Rich has banned all mustard from the RLM studio as it is “the devil’s condiment”.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I wonder who uses the alien fleshlight?

    Like I have to ask.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I know, right? You’re only allowed to see a Christmas movie on Christmas, it seems.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I can grow a full beard in three weeks. Challenge accepted. Now i just have to remember not to to trim it for three weeks….

  • quick_moranis

    I loved the earlier build up part of the film. Then the movie just turned just silly ass. I know that’s what he does, but that first part had my hopes up that he was going to do something different.

  • Bubs

    I think Krampus‘ lack of success is due entirely to the title of the film. I know that’s why I didn’t see it. All I could think of was Dwight from the office prancing around in his ridiculous goat costume. It’s sort of like, if the film Sinister had been named Baghoul instead. Everyone would’ve said, “What? No.” Instead, everyone said “What? I guess… Wait, what?”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh, fuck that. That was the worst thing in the movie. Just because you have niggas being badass on the screen, doesn’t mean you have to have rap music. Tarantino didn’t even dare use more than 30 seconds of it at a time, making it even more jarring and out of place. I would’ve actually been more fine with it, if he just ran with the rap music theme and used it to a bigger extent.

  • Bubs

    James Cameron.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They do have a spoiler warning. I skipped too because I’m probably seeing the film next weekend.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its for the same reason that I only saw Mad Max and Star Wars in an actual cinema. if it does not need the big screen why bother.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Hey! acidic Vaginas are no laughing matter. Its a major cause of infertility.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I miss the days when Mick&Jake would put actual effort and creativity into the skits that frame the review.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Mike once said “Listening to me talk about movies is boring so I decided to use the Mr Plinkett character to make it more interesting.”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They gotta explicitly state that it’s a parody movie, so they can legally use the original character names.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ahhhh the good ol days when they used to care.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They always seem to corner themselves with these extravagant plot lines. Then they come to a breaking point and figure out some hack fraud way to basically soft reboot the series, which usually leads to creative invigoration. We are clearly getting close to that point now.

  • Now all they do is sit in their chairs and drink their vodka-infused coffee.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    A camera,B camera.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I can’t wait for the gritty and dark reboot.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It makes you sense you liked it. obnoxious women not shutting up for 95% of the runtime. it’s like being around your fellow cheerleaders right?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s great to see at least a single person here who offers a view that deals with the actual content of the film and not mistaking his expectations as precious insights.

  • Earth

    Oh no, a review of a movie that I actually plan to see. Oh and The Ridiculous Six. Well, at least I can watch part of the video.

  • Bubs

    Well, with the release of The Hateful Eight, it seems that for once Fuck You It’s January came with a little reach-around.

  • “Unlimited hot dogs!”

    His name… Space Cop

  • VvdD

    But what about STAR WARS?! Did we all forget about how amazing STAR WARS still is? Does everyone know you can still see STAR WARS instead of this? Why isn’t everyone still watching STAR WARS?!?

  • I tink the hombe is becoming hot. The stash needs to be more moist and have salsa stains but it’s still going places. The guy wit the dirtiest bigote, that’s the amigo that get’s to play around wit the enchiladas. Jejeje!

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Oh, come on. I didn’t judge the movie based on the “expectations” I had of it– I judged it based on the experience I had watching it.
    I understood that the movie had things to say about race. I understood that the movie had things to say about gender. I wasn’t fond of how they executed it.
    I’m not claiming to have any “precious insights” about the movie, I’m trying to articulate what my feelings were about it.
    But, whatever, I just didn’t get it.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Spoilers ahead.

    Gunshots are loud. And the mexican would be alone with the two other men.

    But let’s consider what we know, the people inside the house don’t know about the two armed men, three if we count Chester but he was considered. Their plan was the safer because in order for the hangman make his bandits hang, he handcuffs himself with his “victims”. If they were up to shoot him right on the spot, it could a bloody mess with not only John Ruth shooting back at them, but also his prisioner being shot.

    You could point out that for a long period of time he is no longer attached to her, but at this point, Major Warren is already inside the place.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    The only reason why I complained about the mystery element of the movie was because I actually found it incredibly distracting from the themes of racial and gender politics that the movie was laying out.
    I like the movie for its themes, there were just some ways in which the movie was executed that felt kind of off to me.
    I understand what the movie was going for, but it just didn’t completely “connect” with me for some reason and I was trying to explain why.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    I see what you’re doing.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Goddamn you testosterone-full people, it takes me so much time to grow a proper one, that I always stop, since I never get out of the pedohpile hobo phase and certain people don’t appreciate that.

  • tOmy`

    What has to go wrong in someone’s life when he decides that $60m is best spent on an Adam Sandler movie?

  • LukasWormTheThird

    How is Tarantino some Gora Master or something, his movies are rather tame in that regard and that stuff is never the reason to see it.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    THE REVENANT
    at your local Godzillaplex now

    Whoa.

    First, an aside…We spend all of our time here and elsewhere on the internet trying to figure our place in some kind of (imaginary) critical consensus regarding culture. Am I on the correct side of this debate? Can I prove that by getting other people to agree with me? Am I at the cool kids lunch table, or am I gonna have to eat my peanut butter sandwich alone in the corner again? We’ve been socialized to think of movies as a communal thing, ideally. Me, I’ve learned over the past television-less decade of watching 200-300 feature films a year, that movie experiences are insular, more than they are anything else. That’s why I won’t really argue over what any of you think of THE REVENANT.

    So, B, I guess…If your idea of entertainment value is based on the amount of “fun” you have while in the auditorium, I can’t imagine you will enjoy THE REVENANT. There is no “fun” to be had, here. Not an iota. It is brutally intense. I cringed for every one of 157 minutes. If, during FURY ROAD, I was blown back into my seat, during this I was literally half an inch off the edge, digging deep canyons into the armrests with my fingernails. There is a very simple, basic Man v. Nature Survive-To-Avenge Plot, and there are characters with singular motivations that are easily understood, but…The film is 100% drive. Everything is trying to kill our characters, all the time, and there is no relief. Even beauty, of which there is an overload — this is a movie where the detailed evisceration of a horse is presented like a Renaissance painting — is murderous. Leo DiCaprio grunts and growls and struggles and screams and slobbers while Tom Hardy does his trademarked muscular mumbling thing. There are savage Natives and Magical Visions. There is an awful lot of all of it, and the redundancy is part of the effect.

    Many, many will dismiss this as THE GREY directed by Terrence Malick. (See Point 1.) However, I’m in love with this movie. I love it so much I’d bear-rape it and feel bad after if it didn’t wanna cuddle. (Sorry.) It’s a masterpiece of natural setting and natural light. Somebody mentioned sound design? Fuggeddabouddit. I’m gobsmacked.

    I’ve read and heard a lot of people trying to apply big themes of Nation-Building and Race and such to THE HATEFUL EIGHT, and I’ve thought that all incredibly silly and unearned. THIS movie is the one to which all of those profound themes truly apply. It’s symbolic in almost every shot.

    Masterpieces don’t need to be perfect. I thought I noticed DiCaprio’s make-up changing, briefly, here and there. One moment, he was all necrotic wounds, the next moment not so much, but the moment after that, even worse. But that’s a quibble.

    The first “immersive”-type motion picture that I’ve ever been completely, doubtlessly immersed in. Others will think it’s too pretty and complain about artifice.

    ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

  • RickMoranis

    My brother liked the Ridiculous 6 and told me it was really funneh. So, feeling rather strange and slightly drugged, I watched it with him. Everything these guys say about Adam Sandler is wrong. He’s a brilliant filmmaker, whose sensitivity to the Native Americans touched me, and the story actually had me in tears in a few parts. Yes, it was funny, but the characters were so real, and I could empathize with their plight and their struggles to find their father. The shitting donkey is actually really deep symbolism. I won’t spoil it, but let’s just say I never thought a donkey’s diarrhea could give me chills.

    10/10 #CHALKLITWASTED #ReallyGoodIdea

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I watched Star Wars 40 years ago. I’m really, really fyucking sick of Star Wars.

  • tOmy`

    Couldn’t the make-up issue be related to reliance on natural light?

  • Moke

    is that what we call a typical “rick”? Am I still up to date on that matter?

  • RickMoranis

    Maybe. I just know the blood hasn’t stopped dripping out of my ears, but that’s to be expected with something of such high caliber.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    You just want me to say “Maybe,” don’cha?

  • tOmy`

    To some extent, maybe.

    But no, I am really curious. I never looked into how make-up is done (outside getting ready for jock parties, where you have to apply lipstick on all lips), but I think that the Hollywood make up is always done with lighting in mind.

    Now if you have a total control over your lighting, you possibly know how exactly will the make up look like – especially shading and outlining. But if you rely on natural light, you sorta have to guess a bit, no? Plus there is much less control over natural light.

    I might be talking out of my ass here, as I said, I have no experience with it, but I suddenly found this interesting.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    People are stupid. You expect Netflix to change that?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I believe, if you knew Quentin Tarantino in real life, you’d want to punch him in his fugly face.

    Oh, sorry. That’s just me.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Send your copy back to Netflix, then. I’ve been waiting for a full week.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I like this review.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I don’t really know, either, but in this instance I got the idea it’s more of a (slight) continuity problem.

    It may also be a “me” problem. This is a plot where time passes enough for him to heal somewhat at different stages, only to end up getting thrown through a tree or something, which would, naturally, lead to new wounds or old wounds re-opening, and my brain is just such a colander that I couldn’t keep proper track.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    He really does have an ugly face, doesn’t he? And a very distracting speech impediment.

  • Uncle Dan

    To be fair, they promoted it pretty hard. I guess they’re trying to justify paying Sandler $60m and get a return on their investment.

  • Luke

    How come you guys only review shitty comedies but haven’t made single review of good ones like Trainwreck, Spy and Neighbors for example

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s called snorting cocaine

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    And giant hands that never, ever are still.

  • VvdD

    Because they are hacks, that’s why.

  • Uncle Dan

    I watched it after Jay recommended it during a stream. It was a great movie, like watching a long nightmare.

    Also, Kurt Russell is great in basically everything.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    good review. looks like all those mixed proffesional reviews were unearned afterall eh?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    hah! good joke!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You deserve a gold star too!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Nope. I’m predicting there’s going to be a general love-it / hate-it reaction to this movie. I’m just admitting I don’t care about that.

    To your point, though, the professional (or semi-pro) reviews have come around quite a bit since I read the first reviews. That’ll teach me to NEVER assume AV Club knows sh!t they talkin’ ’bout.

  • tOmy`

    Everyone is scared of having to call this movie good, because that would mean drawing comparisons to the other box office hit…

    I would get sick by being held at gun point by Disney for these couple of weeks as well.

  • VvdD

    Probably when that person decided to study accountancy and you learn things about money laundering and fraud.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Didn’t AV club published several articles about the hidden,unappreciated quality of the SW prequels?

    Myeah, case closed there.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I feel like we’re slipping into the realm of passive-aggressive insults, a warpath from which neither of us may emerge.
    What hath we wrought?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Speaking of good reviews, I read yours for Victoria. I’m so glad someone here saw it. One of the best movies of last year, for sure.

  • tOmy`

    Sandler’s movies suck the life out of fun of money laundering, tho. You can’t be all that excited about illegal activity when you see how it’s done.

    It’s like when you have those people scamming banks of money. Where is the fun in that? Grow a pair, hit the bank in 6 people with guns, steal shit, escape the bank while setting nearby cars on fire so police enforcement can’t follow you, get on the beach and escape in a jet boat.

    Which is a thing that totally happened btw.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I think we’ve entered an age where reviewers tend to review “experiences” based on the idea that all “art” has become mere entertainment. They are judging real expressive film harder, by a stricter standard.

    When the review consensus for superhero and space opera movies is routinely in the 90 percentile, you know reviewers are not discussing “art” anymore. They’re trying to position themselves in the popularity contest.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    The internet.

  • Uncle Dan

    I never understand the complaint about “too PC these days either.” The only areas where it’s a problem is when it’s done lazily or just for the sake of doing it.

    It’s not a problem with Fury Road or Force Awakens. I do find it a little distracting with QT’s more recent movies because he tries to make his movies seem like they’re about racism or misogyny when they’re best viewed as just fun schlock where you get to see fun characters win over assholes. Jews killing Nazis and former slaves killing southerners… fine, it’s fun.

    Of course, I can totally ignore that with QT movies because I don’t watch the promotional interviews of him and the cast. The movies don’t really pretend that they’re about more than they are.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    True dat!

  • VvdD

    Exactly what I was thinking.

  • tOmy`

    I wouldn’t be that skeptical and / or cynical, but there is a feeling of reviewers saying what people want to hear, rather than saying how exactly they feel.

    I noticed this trend when it comes to music reviews: All AAA albums (read: Adele, Justin Bieber flop, Miley Cyrus flop) are all written exactly as you expected. But there is soooo much to say about JB’s clusterfuck and MC’s… interesting experiment.

    And then you see reviews of smaller stuff and notice how much insight, opinions and ideas these ones have. Because nobody expects you to shit on / praise these albums, so you sorta give an honest insight.

  • tOmy`

    Wait, you are still doing the blog thing? Sorry, forgot to check.

    Will get on it asap.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    SPOILERS SPOILER SPOILERS SPOILERS

    Another problem with the whole haberdashery flashback which I consider a whopper…Samuel L. Jackson makes quite a point about “Minnie”‘s hatred of Mexicans. It’s salient to the entire mystery in the first half of the movie. Arguably it’s the single most important point convincing Jackson’s character that someone is in “cahoots.” Then, when Minnie actually is shown to meet the Mexican? Come on in, snuggle up to the fire and have a jelly bean? There’s no problem presented between her and the Mexican at all.

    Man that was fyucking lazy. Nothing, though, is as lazy as “Who’s Professor Plumb?” / “Surprise! They’re all Mr. Mustard!”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    not since like last month lol.

  • Uncle Dan

    Hateful 8 doesn’t release in Switzerland until January 26th. Bleh.

  • Europeans suck!

  • Uncle Dan

    Very well, too!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Especially the Swiss. We get it on the 13th.

  • tOmy`

    Good, I don’t have to start my music blog any time soon, then.

    #PissingCompetition

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I can’t wait for trap music tutorials!

    #roach motel ignorance

  • Uncle Dan

    Sometimes Europe gets movies before the Americans. It does happen sometimes because of how bootleg distribution works globally if the movie expects to make a lot of money in global markets.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    live by the pedohpile hobo phase,die by the pedohpile hobo phase.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Typos and all?

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Sun-Tzu

  • Ben Walsh

    The Hateful 8 is Tarantino’s homage to John Carpenters ‘The Thing’.

    Discuss.

    Ok then.

    2 of Enio’s tracks are taken from The Thing OST that are not in that movie and one of them is straight from the movie.

    Structurally it is almost the same film. The plot revolves around a single female character that takes the place of the Thing. The end of both movies involves the killing of the main antagonist and two male characters in terminal conditions.

    Just watch the movie again with this in mind. I am sure you will be able to see many more parallels but I am too lazy to write an essay on it.

  • Trask

    I did not care for the Hateful Eight. The film felt like it was written by a fanboy trying very hard to write like Tarantino.

  • Michael Collins

    I just watched Sicario, flat is the word that best describes how it felt.

  • Michael Collins

    Doesn’t release in Japan until sometime in Feb, it’s not fair you Swiss getting all these early releases!

  • tOmy`

    6th here.

    #CommieBlockIsWhereThePartysAt

  • caye74
  • Amontillado

    Psace the fanil frontier, these are the vayoges of the Strashpi Entrepirse, it’s cnotinign missoin to xeporle strange new wrolds, to seke uot new lefi and civliitaons, to to blodly go where no noe has gnoe befroe!

  • Amontillado

    You mean Mike goes completely dry, Jay finds love and drops the cynicism, and Rich doesn’t die – sir, that is a dark, gritty world that is too dark for me.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Mkae ti os

  • Amontillado

    They’ve always cared, did you know see that when the two pairs of footsteps became only one, that was the time that Mike carried you through your troubled time?

  • Amontillado

    Not infested with rats, just techie assholes and bros. That’s New York you’re thinking of. And no love for Yellowstone? or the Grand Tetons 🙁 ?

  • Amontillado
  • RickMoranis

    Jay I drew you a portrait you hack!

    imgur.com/FfDfyqj

  • Amontillado

    Don’t forget the vodka gimlets…

  • Amontillado

    There’s been an awakening….

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That’s a nice dwawing. Why is he wearing glasses, though?

  • RickMoranis

    He’s not, that’s the Jay markings. Watch the discovery channel from time to time! Wild Susans have eyeliner.

  • Uncle Dan

    Forget Star Wars, have Mike and Rich talked about Star Trek yet?

  • Amontillado

    Negaeg

  • Fartastic

    I tried that too :
    “I hate blood. It’s wet, it smells…and it gets-a everywhere!”

    I might have failed though…

  • Amontillado

    I feel Jay’s stache is feeling this way towards Kurt Russell’s stache: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M2B-1103s8

  • Amontillado

    “I tink the hombe…” – whaaaa?

  • Amontillado

    Didn’t he play the Thing in the latest Fantastic Four movie?

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    You know… Quentin Tarantino is an incredibly indulgent, masturbatory filmmaker, but at least it’s clear that he cares about his vision. He’s not going to make any sort of dispassionate hack-job because, yeah, he loves movies. A lot.
    So, when it comes right down to it, I’m willing to put up with his more annoying movie-making tendencies (and his even more annoying public persona, God, I hate him so much) as long as he keeps making really good films.
    I may appreciate this movie more on future viewings. For now, though, I’ll just be glad that I saw it and leave it at that.

  • Amontillado

    Or Jackie Chan and not wanting trouble.

  • Amontillado

    Shoot, I’m in the wrong place – I thought we were talking about the right to invent beer arms. Cause you know, you want drink beer with your meal, and stuff.

  • playdude92 .

    The weirdest thing is, that I had a very high opinion so far of Netflix´s origninal content.

    It´s like they went “How can we ruin our reputation very quickly?”

  • Uncle Dan

    I guess maybe it’s their way of diversifying their content? “We make some really great intelligent stuff. I guess we should also try and make money by selling shit too.”

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Where the fuck did Monday go?

    First time through, I’ve still got ★ at arm’s-length. Which is a good sign, because I don’t usually have a completely positive experience with any one of the albums which become my all-time favorites (exceptions: Dirty Mind and Hejira).

    As a relevant comparison, I knew immediately that I thought The Next Day was only okay-ish.

  • Uncle Dan

    You think you’re embarassed, I was sitting down to prepare for the rite to bear arms. There were candles and incense and pentograms and everything.

  • RickMoranis

    UN-SUBSCCCRRIIIIBBE…..

  • hombre*

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Caliente!

  • Uncle Dan

    So I looked up Tangerine because Jay said it’s one of the best films of the year. Looks pretty interesting! Anyone else seen it?

  • bleurgh

    Netflix’s original content is generally pretty great. All of their kids programming is terrible though. It’s like they’ll green-light any old shit when it comes to younger demographics.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Yes. I liked it a lot, too, and indie comedy-dramas about transgender hookers usually ain’t my thing.

    It’s remarkably tender. the gimmick is, it’s all shot on an iPhone or something, but I didn’t notice.

    Unless you were talking about Tangerines, which is a foreign film that was also one of the best movies of last year. Well. Not “unless.” I saw that, too, and also liked it a lot.

  • Uncle Dan

    I’m just happy that Netflix Switzerland is finally getting Tremors.

  • bleurgh

    Spy was way better than I was expecting.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Netflix is my only source, besides the theater, of film entertainment, and the only original things of theirs I’ve ever watched are stand-up specials, BEASTS OF NO NATION, and WINTER ON FIRE.

    Oh, I’m wrong. I binged “Masters of None.” Chrissy, that was crap.

  • Amontillado

    Got it!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    You sure it’s not TREMORS 5?

  • Amontillado

    Can it change regular arms into beer arms? My inventing is not going so well….

  • bleurgh

    I have enjoyed Bojack Horseman, Jessica Jones and Narcos a lot. Try any of those.

    The pilot for Bojack is probably the weakest episode of the series though.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I heard he was using one when he wrote Avatar.

    That’s why the script was so sticky.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Thank you for the recommendation. I will try those.

  • Uncle Dan

    Kevin Bacon is there, so probably not.

  • bleurgh

    Also Bill Burrs You People Are All The Same is top notch. He’s an acquired taste as a comic, but he is definitely at the peak of his career at the moment.

  • Like Icare

    You’re not looking at the whole picture.
    It’s only the first ASS (Adam Sandler Spectacle) movie out of FOUR they signed him up to make for them.
    That $60 mil is just a part of the whole sum.

  • Like Icare

    It actually premiered and had a limited release in 2015.
    It’s still Fuck You It’s January.

  • Palpatine

    Beasts of No Nation was amazing.

  • Joe Syxpac

    In the next episode Plinkett’s house is just gonna slide down the mountain and conveniently stop right on top of it’s original foundation, never to be spoken of again.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yup. It’s pretty good.

  • Yuhaddabia “Big Shot” Dijna

    You call that “brains everywhere”?!!! I call that a modicum of brains! A bare smidgen of grey matter! Now where are my brains?!!!!!!

  • Palpatine
  • dollar store cashier wife

    Kinda though it still it ain’t bad per se. “BoJack Hates the Troops” episode is when I was fully on board with the series.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I wasn’t gonna see it but you just talked me into it.

    The Thing is one of my all time faves.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Idris Elba and Abraham Attah are fantastic in it.

  • bleurgh

    I started with series 2 which is solid right from start to finish. First series had some rough parts though.

  • tOmy`

    “Petition launched to name new element ‘Octarine’ in honour of Terry Pratchett”

    You can sign the petition here: https://www.change.org/p/iupac-joint-institute-for-nuclear-research-lawrence-livermore-national-laboratory-name-new-element-117-octarine-in-honour-of-terry-pratchett-s-discworld

  • Earth

    The fact that this halogen is greenish-purple has won me over.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    What is it with Ricks?

  • Totally agree with Jay. Love the first half, the second half just sort of lost me because Tarantino just reverts to his same shtick. Mind you. he’s very good at it, but its starting to get boring.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Two frauds sitting in a comfy studio, sipping their beers, talking. They broke ground in this episode by standing up.

  • tOmy`

    I have it very simple when it comes to music. As I don’t care about particular genres, if the album

    a) Does what it set out to do
    b) Pushes the envelope

    … I view it as a good / great album. And Blackstar pretty much feels like it nailed both these scenarios.

  • tOmy`

    There is one exception to this case: I don’t give a flying fuck about what Morcheeba does next, as long as it yet another Morcheeba-sounding album.

    They are somewhat of a reassuring quality of my life – whenever I feel in doubt about the world, I realize that there is most likely a new Morcheeba album coming out in a year or two, and I suddenly feel very even.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I wouldn’t call the pilot “bad” but it wasn’t very indicative of the mind-boggling show that Bojack would eventually become.
    When I stuck with it, though, it became both one of the most emotionally-rewarding and emotionally-draining shows I’ve ever seen.
    The best thing about it is that Bojack, on an emotional level, just feels so goddamn real. This just goes to show how important the emotional core of a show is– you can cut through all of the weird abstractions of this cartoon animal world and relate to all of the characters as people.
    I see a lot of my narcissism in Bojack. I see a lot of my entitlement. I see a lot of my depression. And yet, after all of his bridges have been burned, Bojack actually shows a capacity for change and that’s pretty goddamn inspiring.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    So should I see Ridiculous Six or not? Isn’t this a movie review type show where a fat man and a skinny man argue and then have fantastic make up sex? Where am I?

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    You’re home.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I don’t listen to Morcheeba outside August.

  • tOmy`

    It is very apparent it was a morning and he didn’t have a sip of that coffee yet.

    If someone was to do this to me before I have my morning coffee (especially if they make sounds, or even worse, try to engage in conversation), I am usually one sudden movement away from slashing their veins while carefully explaining them that “before noon” is “the quiet time”.

  • tOmy`

    That’s because you don’t do drugs.

    Morcheeba is the perfect Morcheeba genre playing Morcheeba band to smoke some cheeba to.

  • Cet
  • bassbait

    and chestbursting.

  • bassbait

    my favorite movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Both.

  • bassbait

    that was Mike who said that, not Jay.

  • bassbait

    have you seen The Ridiculous Six?? Maybe don’t judge until you watch it ehh??

    I’M AN ADAM SANDLER FAN AND ALL I KNOW HOW TO DO IS YELL!!

  • Paparazzi should be hunted down and neutered.

  • bassbait

    Bill Burr is best in interviews on late night shows. His stand up is good but the interviews are gold.

  • bassbait

    “I really really recommend Bridesmaids”

  • TheManHole

    I tried to watch it I made it to the first “joke” and then turned it off and reflected on what I have done with my life.

  • TheManHole

    Because young people are dumb and will watch whatever we tell them to!

  • bassbait

    my drummer can grow a full beard in less than a week. Unfortunately we never got any videos of him with a full beard for reference, but that’s only because he shaves before shows. People are blown away when they ask how long it’s been and he says “three days”

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    So Chris Parnell gets shat on by a donkey?
    Jesus, that sounds like something that his character on ‘Rick and Morty’ would write and direct.
    “I wrote AND directed that? What am I, nuts?”

  • stryker1121

    I’ll see this but dammit am I more squeamish about gore and violence these days. I just dread knowing something awful is going to unfold onscreen. Haven’t even seen Django yet cuz I heard there was torture and other nastiness afoot. Help!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    thats nice. done!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Well this is likely to send you into spasms then. The violence is, as with all Tarantino, entirely cartoonish, though.

    I don’t know if that makes it more or less tolerable for you. I’m 50/50 when it comes to his films. I had unfettered fun while I was in the theater watching this, but thinking of it days later I find most of it reprehensible or pointless.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Um, no. And I’m not going to sign the petition to re-name Pluto Hoth or whatdefuckever either.

    It’s my lawn, and you know the rules.

  • bassbait

    Mike discusses a problem I have with almost every movie – that endings inevitably *have* to be disappointments if the set-up is any good. Yes there are exceptions to this rule… but not many.

  • stryker1121

    If it’s cartoonish I can probably deal. Sadistic, torture related stuff I’m far less tolerant.

  • bassbait

    you must be a big fan of Audition huh!

  • stryker1121

    Oh yeah, always try to catch that one around the holidays.

  • bassbait

    My family watches that and Antichrist for thanksgiving dinner! It beats looking at their faces.

  • bassbait

    Blood Debts for starters.

  • Commander X

    I tried watching Trainwreck but the premise was too farfetched for me. I mean, Amy Schumer playing an unattractive and unlikable woman? Why don’t you just make it a science fiction movie then?

    PS I was just reasonably informed by Buzzfeed or Gawker or somebody that Amy Schumer has totally destroyed the patriarchy with a hilarious sketch about feces.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    I forgot the gimlets.

  • tOmy`

    Well, there is literally next to no reason to rename Pluto to Hoth.

    But since “Octarine” is acceptable name for new element (it fits within the rules of naming), I think it is a rather touching idea. I mean, why not?

  • Jason Ross

    Netflix is hilarious

    I searched for titles related to The Diving Bell and The Butterfly (french indie film), and it recommends The Ridiculous 6 as well as A Very Murray Christmas … both titles by Netflix

    I’m on to their fucking game

  • bassbait

    The Ridiculous 6 relates to those things obviously! They all have “the” in the title.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    a) How can you possibly know or evaluate that?
    b) I don’t know about envelope-pushing, but yeah a “great” album tricks me into thinking I haven’t heard something exactly like it before.

    My criteria is: Does it make my ears warm or my dick limp? If it makes my ears hot and my dick hard, it’s a great album.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    The problem is…There’s nothing quite like The Diving Bell and The Butterfly, so they’re just throwing darts.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    If “Octarine” is a real element, naming it after fuzzy, imaginary, mythological stuff is, for me, akin to calling a hamburger Jesus.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    And when they’re adults they’ll re-watch the blockbuster movie version.

  • tOmy`

    Well, I would like to think that I understand what certain musicians are trying to do and what they aim for, as well as most of them very often talk about what sound / idea they are after before the actual release.

    Plus, when you check what specific genre these artists do, you can quickly assess what specific sound they are after / what thought process is involved / and, possibly most important, what their target market / audience is.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Don’t hate the playa, amirite?

  • Do either the titular diving bell or butterfly have explosive diarrhea?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    [Talking] about music is like dancing about architecture. – Martin Mull

  • bassbait

    I’ll sing about music instead

    why does anybody fucking care??

  • tOmy`

    Octarine is actually a color (in books).

    And sorry to break it to you, but half of the periodic table is named after mythological stuff.

    In the next breaking news, we will talk about names of planets.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    OK, OK, you got me. I should’ve written “geeky stuff,” because that’s what I truly meant.

    I literally hate geeks the way geeks hate hipsters.

  • bassbait

    and the way hipsters hate everything.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Except stuff that is cool and stands the test of time forever.

  • bassbait

    like the WWF!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Yes, I support the World Wildlife Federation. Why do you want to live in a world without tigers?

    Seriously…Are hipsters generally into wrassling? I wouldn’t think that is “hip” by any stretch.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    So in this episode:

    Mike and Jay’s feelings about a mainstream movie are exactly the same as everyone else (Hateful Eight has 75% on Rotten Tomatoes).

    Mike and Jay’s feelings about an Adam Sandler movie are exactly the same as everyone else (every critic hates it but for some reason it’s a hit).

    Mike says nothing interesting and appears half asleep.

    Jay tells us about another sexual perversion movie he likes (“One of the best movies of the year!”)

    Did someone make a Half in the Bag auto-generator?

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Jay’s a perv. If you’re a perv, you’ll like the movies he suggests. That’s really all there is to it.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You think a show that is entirely about lesbian prison sex is high art? What a world.

  • tOmy`

    Or that awful show staring academy award winner Kevin Spacey, produced by that awful hack David Fincher, right?

    Oh, wait…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I wonder what the whole writing process at Happy Madison is like.

  • They got a room full of monkeys and typewriters.

  • tOmy`

    Pussy!

    We saw whole Jack & Jill over at… the place we shall not mention that is, ironically, your name.

  • tOmy`

    1) We have to make a movie.
    2) Okay.

    ????

  • Studio Executive

    Sometimes an innovative new player is able to disrupt an industry by capitalizing on new ideas and new technology. In order to protect their existing status, more established players in the industry may respond by crafting a “poison pill” out of a worthless hack and his cadre of talentless friends. In order make the poison pill attractive, the established players may engage in a multi-year, multi-film campaign that uses voodoo accounting practices to make the poison pill look like a reliable box office investment. Based on this false appearance of profitability, the innovate new player takes the poison pill, wasting tens of millions of dollars and diminishing their own reputation in the process. It might seem like a lot of effort, but it’s cheaper than adapting to the twenty first century.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I hope you never break character.

  • bassbait

    you just sold me on that show.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jay’s new look reminds me of someone

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Fnt0cVHuO8k/maxresdefault.jpg

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • bassbait

    they reverse engineer a movie out of trailer points.

  • bassbait

    that was a brilliantly timed reference. *Applause*

    *diarrhea*

  • bassbait

    Is it bad that I legitimately find the donkey in Ridiculous 6 funny? Don’t worry, everything else about the film is… *shit*?

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Never understood why people turn to TV for their political sideshows. You have enough craziness in the real world. It’s like the people who sniffed their own farts watching ‘The West Wing’ for years. Get over it.

    And didn’t David Fincher make Panic Room and Alien 3? The guy has a couple good films but not many.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They just went meta with Ridiculous Six.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    By the 4th time Mike and Jay showed it it started getting funny. I agree with Mike they should have used the donkey more.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes it does. You are no longer welcome here. I revoke your poster.

  • Marvin

    I’d have loved to see J&J. That’s just an expression.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You know your movie is bad when Vanilla Ice is the best part of your movie.

  • Iggy Autry

    So Mike and Jay are blind…?

    That kind of thing seems to be Jay’s favorite genre – especially in horror movies. They’ve joked about it before – him being such a nice guy but loving blood and guts shlock… And that’s fine…

    I just don’t get into big violence for the sake of violence stuff like horror films.

    If you haven’t seen it in Tarantino, good for you. Enjoy…

  • Andrew

    The “Spotlights” are PARs that Robert Richardson, the DP on the film, has been using for a lot of his career. He loves blasting people with hard top/backlight and letting the light bounce back onto their faces. You can see a great deal of it (with very heavy diffusion) in the film “JFK.” I agree, however, it’s totally out of place here. In fact, I’d go as far as to say the interiors in “The Hateful Eight” are a waste of 65mm because the lighting is nearly intolerable. Django was a much better looking film…Richardson’s style was more suited to that story and locations I think.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I hate them too.

  • Amontillado

    Damnit what did I just say?!

  • bassbait

    *cries*

  • bassbait

    Vanilla Ice was in The Hateful Eight??

  • bassbait

    Fight Club was great.

  • He did the rap at the end. You know Tarantino likes to cross genres.

  • bassbait

    Vanilla Ice is the best part of any movie he’s in.

    GO WHITE BOY GO WHITE BOY GO!

  • bassbait

    “You don’t have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to.” – Louis CK.

  • Heyooooo… I mean shut up before I steal your woman and have a little ‘gusta gusta’ Jejeje

  • bassbait
  • Lets hope they “go dark” this year

  • bassbait

    I hope you never break my damn Cadillac.

  • I inexplicably woke up at 5 in the morning to see there is new content. Spider sense or a full bladder?

  • bassbait

    I’m glowing with the light of new content. I am very happy that there’s something to watch!!! And I already watched it twice and now I’m bored.

    Can’t wait for the inevitable Pre-rec coming up next!

  • Yeah, we’re into really sophisticated humour in these parts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CnEx6fxbvE

  • bassbait

    The difference between HITB’s humor and Adam Sandler’s humor is moot. It’s both cynical, tired, old men making lazy, crude humor for an audience of fools. Except for this lovely comment section!

  • tOmy`

    More of a deathwish.

  • Marvin

    And not the fast and easy kind.

  • Like Icare

    “Christoph Waltz”-lite is a very good description of Tim Roth in H8.

  • Rafael Castilho Monteiro

    i think it was necessary to split lord of the rings. for the dollah billz the case is with this new trilogy, adapted from a book way shorter. always glad how guillermo del toro dodge this bullet.

  • Thanatos2k

    I think you guys are starting to realize that Taratino is good at action, and terrible at writing a story without it.

    It’s why Kill Bill 1 is good, and Kill Bill 2 fucking sucks!

  • bassbait

    both were pretty weak.

  • Assbutt

    I’m not sure if this is intended to be taken seriously but The New Yorker said that “Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith” are the best Star Wars films:

    http://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/what-the-seven-star-wars-films-reveal-about-george-lucas

  • Well, this is embarrassing. Out of 99 codes only 16 have been used so far. People don’t want free shit any more.

  • bassbait

    it has to be less than free these days.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I took one! I gotta say, I was positively surprised. I didn’t expect to like it but did, quite a bit.

  • tOmy`

    “Men’s rights activists declare victory over Star Wars”

    So, apparently, there is a blog called “Return of Kings*” that you know as “those idiots fighting against Mad Max because of Furiosa” and according to them: “The Force Awakens lost $4.2 million because of our reporting.” Now this is all fine and dandy (well, no, it’s actually the most idiotic thing I saw today), but what is even finer and dandier (again, not so much) is their webpage that have Disgust comment section.

    You can now witness all this atrocity, including comments such as: “This movie will help further the agenda that women are superheroes who can easily defeat men who have trained and studied in a discipline, merely by entering the room”: http://www.returnofkings.com/76356/star-wars-lost-4-2-million-because-of-our-reporting-that-identified-it-as-sjw-propaganda?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=sumome_share

    Have fun vomiting in stanzas.

    *I choose to believe that they named their blog after Return of King’s moment, when the only human capable of killing the Nazgul king is indeed a woman

  • Marvin

    I took one too and liked Sunrise.

  • bassbait

    you said it’d be released in a week, so I thought I’d wait until then. Plus I’ve been so occupied with my own musical endeavors lately that I wouldn’t be able to pay much attention. I’ll check it out whenever I can.

  • tOmy`

    Easter egg: If you spend some time on this page, this pop up ad shows up:

    “Free 9-Page Dating Text Messaging Guide”

    This must be a joke, right?

  • tOmy`

    “remember how the word on street used to be that ronda rousey could beat anyone in the world, men included? i’m hoping that now that she’s very publicly had her face rearranged by another woman that will put the lie to the idea that women are a match for men in physical confrontations.”

    +10

  • bassbait

    I usually just mind my own business and don’t give a fuck about people’s opinions when I disagree with them…

    but the MRAs are so hilariously stupid and awful that I can’t help but dive into their insanity every now and then. Especially MGTOW, which is the epitome of dumb man-children

  • So… uh…. When’s Space Cop coming out?

  • bassbait

    though I definitely won’t comment, because they’ll trace me through disqus and start harassing people here… as MRAs often do.

  • Getting a little impatient?

  • Marvin

    Space what?

  • What what?

  • bassbait

    Bathroom!

  • Marvin

    In the butt?

  • Marvin
  • Cream-A-Thon

    As?

  • bassbait

    This is something that very few people will get the reference for, but if you get the reference, maybe you’ll agree –

    Tim Roth(?) looks a lot like Varg in the thumbnail

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    If I get bored I’ll dig up an old account and go troll them. for science!

  • bassbait

    it is your destiny.

  • Nay, (un)holy duty!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Do you think they’re gonna give him a case of the ‘not gays’? I see a lot of sausage in this trailer and the poster art.

  • Not enough burning churches in the background.

  • bassbait
  • Well, he has a wife and gets a lap dance… but that hasn’t stopped people from being gay now, has it?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Food for thought: In the future wives are made of hotdogs.

  • Horse penis and Chinese people?

    Jesus Christ…

  • bassbait

    I wouldn’t mind sharing that wiener!

  • Palpatine

    3016.

  • Palpatine

    Do it!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Correct – Circle takes the Square!

  • bassbait

    and take screenshots.

  • Domo

    I hope the Space Cop Roadshow comes with a booklet, and includes a Mike Stoklasa centerfold.

  • Earth

    “Let them come” – Theoden

  • Earth

    That scene is a masterpiece of comedy.

  • Earth

    When I read that shit all I ever hear is “Boo hoo hoo”.

  • I love it when the turd comes out of Mike’s mouth.

  • Earth

    That’s an insult to monkeys.

  • Earth

    It’s weird that the only part that grosses me out is Rich eating.

  • luvs2pwge

    Is this the last ever Half in the bag?

  • tOmy`

    What? Where? Who?

    Give me!

  • RLMkeepitup

    no they walked off set in support of the native americans who walked off ridiculous six

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I thought it was an homage to Christian Bale.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Space Cop is taking forever because they shot the whole movie with all natural light in the wilderness at 48 frames per second in 70 mm.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I attempted to watch Hitch and I turned it off when I saw Kate Beckinsale married to Adam Sandler’s character. There is no way in any movie, no matter what genre, that is fucking possible.
    Edit: Click. I forgot the title.

  • “I’m on medcation”.

    His name… Space Cop

  • bassbait

    nothing about that scene grosses me out. Rich is also the comedic winner of the group when it comes to HITB. I wish they’d give him more Plinkett bits but lately they just don’t care as much.

  • bassbait

    I read “Hitler” instead of “Hitch”.

    It would have been better that way.

    Wait Sandler was in Hitch??

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I forgot the name it was Click. Hitch starred that bloated man.

  • Ey, esse. Did you do the thumbs down ting from Gladiator before turning it off? It’s some of your best work you know. Got to reference it you know.

  • bassbait

    I didn’t think Click was bad when I saw it. I was also pretty young. I might hate it now, who knows. But Christopher Walken is in it and he can do no wrong as an actor for me, so even then there’s *something* good about it.

  • Kay Fabe

    I only registered here to post this. I did NOT create it.

    https://chainlust.stackstorage.com/index.php/s/zU9Va9FSkogXjVe

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This is my son Juan, this is my other son Juan, this is my daughter Juanita.

  • bassbait

    I’m just keeding!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That’s not an R5-D4.

  • I’ll see you outside in fifteen gringo. We settle tis mano a mano. I will riddle you wit holes amigo, then I take your wife and she will dance and cook tis amigo some Mole Poblano. Then I use your corpse to smuggle drugs to Tiuana ‘Weekend at Berniys’ style. Arrribaa Jejejeje

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well Ganonking, who ever you are, you have scarred me for life.

  • Jason Ross

    That’s hot.

  • Senior nutslinger. Jejejeje

  • Jason Ross

    no, just pneumonia and death

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This Ganonking fellow is apparently a porno artist and a creepy RLM fan.

  • DIOS MIO!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Bye bye, comment!

  • NicCagesHair

    Oh what the hell I went to the roadshow and didn’t get a booklet. God damn you again Canada!!!!!!(I saw it in Canada)

  • Jackie Brown, which is my favourite, sometimes interchanging with Kill Bill for best Tarantino fun, was based on a novel, so that the story actually wraps up in a narrative way, rather than a cinematic way, is why I feel succeeds cognitively at having an actual closure.

  • tOmy`

    Okay, so I officially got to a Hannibal’s episode I can’t be arsed to watch at night.

    So second congratulation to writers is in order.

  • tOmy`
  • bassbait

    you mean because you’re scared?

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I don’t feel like watching this kinda crap at night. I am more than fine with all the gore and beautification of cannibalism and horrendous murders, but spooky shit? I’ll pass.

  • bassbait

    idk how much of that can be attributed to writers over the direction, but idk I haven’t seen the show. Just the movies. Especially the one where Ray Liotta eats his own brains.

    But don’t worry, I’m that way with The Babadook.

  • tOmy`

    I don’t generally mind horrors, but watching them stoned (especially when it hits the right spot of your own “favorite” horror stuff) is something I don’t generally do.

    Movies are fine, but just as I said couple of days back: Watching 4 hours of this show in row, stoned, right before bed was a perfect setup for nightmares. Who would have seen that coming, huh?

  • NicCagesHair

    Just another reason to stay the fuck out of the Bronx.

  • RockyDmoney

    Adam Sandler, Rob Schnieder adn David Spade.

    Who are three people who should stop making movies?

  • In The Court Of The Evans King
  • Yes, I apologize.

  • LameSame

    Michael Bay, Roland Emmerich, and Joel Schumacher?

  • Nemo

    Mike’s disappointment at not getting a chess game from “Hateful 8” suggests to me that he should check out Nakashima Tetsuya’s “Kokuhaku,” a “Chuushingura” style vengeance tale set in a junior high classroom:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlcRg-1a1f8

    The character the teacher erases at 3:19 means “life.”

  • bassbait

    Quentin Tarantino. That’s all I got. Everyone else is fine.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • bassbait

    Patrice!!!

  • bassbait

    watching Predator with friends on stream. Movie fucking RULES.

  • RLMkeepitup

    one of my favs

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I love that feeling.

  • bassbait

    vaughnlive.tv/viewingparty if you want to watch along. The predator hasn’t even shown up yet!

  • tOmy`

    Oh, look, HBO is gonna try and reclaim the throne: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM8HNuRLIBI

    Anthony Hopkins, Ed Harris, Evan Rachel Wood, and James Marsden.
    Executive producer: Our very own JJ Abrams.
    And classic spin on HBO: “Extras on HBO’s Westworld might have to perform “genital-on-genital touching”

    Allow me to also say: I called that HBO will go “sci-fi” next, in order to get back on top. I am the master of the universe.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, and Jonathan Nolan as a creator. This better not suck.

  • NicCagesHair

    So if they reclaim the throne does it mean Jay-z and Kanye will have to stop watching it?

  • tOmy`

    Yes. It will also prematurely end Game of Thrones.

  • tOmy`

    RLM.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Simon Pegg better have a cringeworthy cameo s’all I can say.

  • Palpatine

    Is this a remake of the movie from the 70’s of the same name?

  • tOmy`

    Yep.

  • Palpatine

    Speaking of which, Michael Crichtion pretty ripped off his work when he wrote Jurassic Park.

  • NicCagesHair

    Anthony Hopkins looks like he is looking at something deeply unpleasant in the thumbnail.

  • tOmy`

    I think I will try and before the show starts, actually read the book.

  • tOmy`

    Let’s hope it wasn’t the script.

  • Palpatine

    West World wasn’t one of his books.

  • tOmy`

    For some reason, I thought it’s based on a book.

  • NicCagesHair

    Maybe they left a mirror around.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Why did you decide you needed more than one Juan?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Thumbs way up.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Because that how litigious the big media companies are? I can believe it.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Crichton wrote several books, but West World was always a movie. It’s okay, I figured it was originally a book myself.

  • bassbait

    Predator – a slow pace that gets to be a little *too* slow at times, but some really great scenes before a thoroughly great climax that closes out the movie.

    8/10. Love it.

  • DanceOfBirther

    In actuality, I have seen 70mm at 48fps, it’s pretty awesome and looked nothing like The Hobbit.

  • harumph

    Has anyone seen Cutthroats 9 or The Great Silence? Without having seen The Hateful 8, I’ve been guessing that those two films were a big part of the inspiration. And by “inspiration” I mean that I’m expecting huge chunks of them were lifted whole cloth.

  • Mistah J.

    RoK is actually a site for pick u artists, not men’s rights activists.

  • bassbait

    OH GOD that’s even worse.

    Wait… why do you know this…

  • DanceOfBirther

    Well In the Beginning Was the Eye probably isn’t on Netflix (it should be, it should be available anywhere at anytime).

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AR0oUy8_fsY

  • Joe Syxpac

    It’s hard to hate any of his movies. Even the ones I don’t consider good are fun to watch.

  • bassbait

    I get nightmares just from watching any horror movie, even if I don’t find it remotely scary. I don’t know why that is. But right before bed my overactive imagination goes off and I can’t sleep for hours. This is actually why I stay up late a lot of the time, though it’s rarely because of horror movies, which I don’t watch often.

  • Palpatine

    Bad Actors for $500, Alex.

  • bassbait

    I just got done streaming Predator. Next I’m doing Predator 2, the inferior yet still pretty decent sequel.

    Arny has a charm to him, in that no matter what kind of character he plays, his bad acting makes it more endearing. Like if he’s an asshole in a movie, his acting makes the asshole element seem phony. If he’s a good guy, his acting makes him look dumb, which is fun. If he’s a mindless killing machine… well actually that works really well.

  • Joe Syxpac

    HBO also has Sesame Street now.

    Cuz they wanted that Sesame Street cred.

  • Moke

    Besides of the beautifull dreamlike images I liked the most how they
    managed the subplot in this show. The attraction of the protagonist and the
    antagonist. Not in a gay way (what many have confused this with) but as
    two lonely human beeings that have found their very own mirror image.
    And as the show continuous and the 2 images are getting closer and closer the
    audience don’t know who will end on which site of the mirror. Will there
    be two Hannibals? Or something unthinkable? A “good” Hannibal? Great work!

  • bassbait

    watching Predator 2 right now. Can’t wait for my favorite line!

    “Want some candy?”

  • bleurgh

    I’m pretty sure it’s both.

  • bassbait

    brings whole new meaning to the term “predator”

  • bassbait

    when you’re one, chances are you’re also the other.

  • bassbait

    unless you’re a MGTOW.

  • DanceOfBirther

    There’s two 70mm showings in Colorado, where it was actually shot. Ha, ha, take that Wyoming, and your single US Representative!

  • DanceOfBirther

    The last I was in SF I had to walk on the homeless, because that’s how dense they are.

  • bleurgh

    Honestly that show is a fucking snooze, total waste of talent.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    EEEEEW!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The scene that wasn’t directed by McTiernan (the attack on the guerilla camp) sticks out like a sore thumb. Everything else is so dynamic, and that scene looks and feels like your run-of-the-mill 80s action movie.

  • bassbait

    I love that scene though. The amount of bodies flying while on fire… great!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I think that helps on the first watch. The rapid descent into the horror of the last half of the move is heightened by the banality of the opening action. although I was 10 at the time.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I know this is the webzone that created BotW, but that sequence is so cheesy. The rest of the movie was hinting at what we were going to get in Die Hard, and the studio insisted on insterting some Canon Films level of schlock.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    I got the vodka though!

  • bassbait

    I think I prefer Predator over Die Hard. Die Hard has always been one of the more overrated movies to me. I still think it’s good though.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Adam Sandler’s was Tarantino’s first choice for The Bear Jew in Inglorious Basterds, but Sandler passed on it, or was busy, whatever. Sandler would’ve been an upgrade over Eli Roth. As bad as he is as a director, Eli Roth sucks even more as an actor.

    Say what you want about Tarantino, but his championing of Eli Roth and Robert Rodriguez are crimes against cinema.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was always pissed off by the end.
    Predator: “You are a worthy opponent! Here have a ancient weapon from your planet.”
    Glover: “Yeah… Can I have one of those fancy Plasma guns. they look cool… No? Ok I’ll take the shitty one shot gun…”
    I may be paraphrasing.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Are you judging it on its own, or have the sequels tarnished your opinion on the original?

  • bassbait

    I’m judging Die Hard

    I liked every Die Hard sequel I saw, so it’s definitely not the sequels to blame. I just think Die Hard is ok, and not a masterpiece or perfect or super super great like everyone says.

  • Michael Collins

    It looks like you missed the point of that scene, which was intended to show these men are tough as nails and know how to kick ass, setting up the later impotence they feel as the predator shows them what bad ass really means.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s not what happens that’s the problem. It’s how the sequence is staged and edited. It’s entirely different from what McTiernan was doing.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Fair enough.

  • Michael Collins

    It’s true the tone is wrong compared to the rest of the movie, but it’s still a fun sequence, and has some of the best cheesy lines in the movie….knock knock!

  • RLMkeepitup

    maybe just me but I didn’t mind Roth much. he has a creepy vibe like he’s enjoying weird shit.

  • bassbait

    for the record I tend to disagree with Mike and Jay on what are the great movies. Ghostbusters, Robocop, and Empire Strikes Back are definitely on my list though. Gremlins is a maybe. I think I like Gremlins 2 more.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “I wish I knew how to quit you.”

    Cop From the Past to Space Cop in Space Cop (2016).

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well I saw another old west film called The Revenant. It is the most realistically violent and disturbing movie I have seen in maybe a decade. First off this movie could be the most beautifully shot movie I have ever seen period. This entire movie was shot with natural lighting and that’s insane but what is more insane is the camera work involved. So many long uncut takes with crisp, beautiful images and not one mistake made. Performances are great especially DiCaprio. My problem with him as an actor is that he shouts and uses over the top accents. This is why I love his performance in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and The Aviator because he falls into the character with out going over the top. This is his best performance because he doesn’t shout and he never acts like he’s acting in a movie. Most of his performance is all visual and more than half of his dialogue isn’t even in English. The fact he made it riveting with out speaking a word most of the time is extremely impressive. I also want to give credit to this movie for having the balls to portray natives correctly. They’re understandable people and are in fact real human beings but just like the some of the white man that invaded their lands some of them were complete fucking savages. The movie reminded me a lot of Blood Meridian and is in fact as brutally violent as it as well. But unlike that book when it’s about violence and human nature this movie is about the human condition and tells through visuals unlike something like Boyhood when it was all done by awkward cringe inducing dialogue. Do I have any negatives? Well……..okay there is a scene that reminded a lot of Empire Strikes Back which was distracting. I would highly recommend The Revenant if not for the cinematography alone.

  • Michael Collins

    Good review, I haven’t seen it, but now I want to..job done!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Also the kid from Son of Rambow is in it. He’s great.

  • Palpatine

    Will Leo finally win Best Actor though?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I do not know. Apparently it’s a battle between him and Michael Fassbender. Speaking of Oscars if Emmanuel Lubezki doesn’t win again I will be angry.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Does it star JLaw and ScarJo? Because it does in my brain.

  • bassbait

    My review of Predator 2 –

    SHIT HAPPENS.

    5/10.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “I got large extremely fast… It’s the stories that got small.”

    His name… Space Cop. Coming 2016.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It certainly is not a marvel of a script on the intellectual level. It’s solid, but it is an action movie. What’s great about Die Hard is the camera work and the editing. There are other highlights, like the performances of most of the cast, the score, etc. but I think the editing is what made it a gamechanger.

  • Herbert West

    Lol, and I just heard an interview with J.J. Abrams on NPR last night where I swear he said he was done doing remakes. Maybe he just meant movies.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s actually said in The Revenant.

  • sigaba

    Michael Crichton directed the 1970s Yul Brynner Westworld, so you’re close.

  • bassbait

    Terminator 3 is so bad it could work as a Plinkett review.

    It’s so dumb. Every line is so dumb!

  • bassbait

    it’s a repeated middle finger to the audience and to the previous films in the series. It’s hilariously bad.

  • VvdD

    They are trying to make Tarantino look like a jerk in real life in those segments and, I agree that he doesn’t have to get so angry, but… I do think he is absolutely right in what he says. He doesn’t have a responsibility to film makers and he doesn’t have to explain why he likes violence in his movies.

    This is actually becoming more and more of an issue recently, where some people are telling filmmakers/writers/artists how to make their movies/books/comics, because according to these people, they have a responsibility to society and they have to be politically correct in this way or include X things so some people don’t feel left out, or they can’t have Y things because it make some people uncomfortable.

    Honestly If people want to make movies less violent, racist, more political or more transgendered, they are free to do so themselves. Nobody is stopping them from making a successful movie just the way they like it or want to see it.

  • bassbait

    “more transgendered”?

  • VvdD

    An example among many things that some people want established movie franchises to add/change to accommodate some viewers. The point is not what they want to change, more that they want them to change it.

  • VvdD

    Honestly, Terminator 3 has a lot of parallels to The Force Awakens to me, since it’s a sequel that basically acts like reboot/remake/retelling of Terminator 2.. Apart from that Terminator 3 is just a lot worse. But I don’t think it would be a funny Plinkett review because T3 is essentially a bad version of T2.

  • bassbait

    Sounds like a good idea to me. Even though I’ve never come across someone doing this, so I don’t know where exactly you’re getting this information.

  • bassbait

    there are some worthwhile points to be made though. I could see a 20 minute review, but not a full, hour long review. That’d be ridiculous for something like this.

  • VvdD

    A shorter review could work. But lets get out of denial for a sec, Mikes’s Plinkett is dead.

  • bassbait

    I don’t think that’s true.

  • VvdD

    It doesn’t have to be a bad idea, some of these things can be great ideas. But I prefer a movie director keep their integrity and only make changes if they wants to make them and if they make sense to the story they’re trying to tell, not because of peer pressure.

  • bassbait

    I agree. But you’re talking about films like Marvel movies and Disney shit. Shit that isn’t auteur film-making to begin with. It’s art by shitty committee and if they want representation it’s fine by me, it doesn’t impact the experience.

    No auteur film-makers are put under that pressure. That’s what auteur means.

    People who complain about the begging for representation are complaining about movies that are *supposed* to be for everyone. Nobody asked Hateful Eight to have any LGBT characters or anything, because that’s not a film for everyone to begin with. It’s a film for the established cult fanbase of Quentin Tarantino, one of the few directors whose name will draw in box office results.

  • VvdD

    I guess you got a point there. Disney/Marvel are in the business to appeal to everyone.

  • VvdD

    Predator 2 is a guilty pleasure for me, I really like it, even the dumb Xenomorph skull at the end. That should have been the beginning and the end of that crossover though.

  • bassbait

    nah. The AVP video games are great. But it should have been the end of the crossover for movies.

  • VvdD

    Yeah didn’t think of the first AVP video games. I heard they were pretty good. Never played them myself.

  • bassbait

    the 94 one for the Jaguar is great. The 99 one is great too. I never played the sequel which I heard is the best one. If you want a super in-depth review of the PC series, Noah Caldwell-Gervais has a good video on it. He also mentions Aliens: Colonial Marines… which is trash.

  • VvdD

    I’ll check him out. Although I doubt I’ll ever be able to play the Jaguar one. I hear all of them died and you can’t find a working one anymore.

  • VvdD

    Sounds like perfectly reasonable response….. FOR SOMEONE IN DENIAL!!

  • VvdD

    Holy shit?! An hour? You weren’t lying when you said “super in-depth” lol.

  • bassbait

    you can emulate it. It’s pretty hard to play, but that makes it actually a kinda scary experience. Very crude and almost shitty, but unnerving as a result of its primitive gameplay.

  • bassbait

    Terminator 3 – very bad movie in a lot of ways. As an actual *movie* it’s… ok? if mediocre. As a sequel, it’s a huge fucking insult on many levels.

    5/10 I’d say. anything 6 and under is essentially a “bad” rating though. 5 means I enjoyed it a little, but wouldn’t watch it again.

  • VvdD

    I’m watching him now, I like his review style. Just subscribed to him. Thanks for the suggestion.

  • GodSentUs

    I totally agree with Mike here. The cinematography was shit except for the opening. I think both Bone Tomahawk and The Reinvent are by far better films. This is just predictable and the same old crap we always get from Quentin.

    Seems like Ole Quentin is making the same movie over and over
    again with slightly different actors. It feels like he wants to make the
    ultimate Civil War movie… but he forgot how to edit. I don’t mind
    long movies. I don’t mind lots of talking.. but it needs to pay off and
    mean something. All the pieces have to add up.

    SPOILERS!!!!

    Why would Mannix not care that Marquis shot the old man? He was kissing his ass. He showed no reaction.
    Why would Mannix help Marquis at all? He went out of his way to show how racist he was, and they established the guy was an outlaw. I don’t buy the two of them just working together.
    Why would Minni not mention the Mexican if she hates them? Again, no reaction.
    What was the point of the Lincoln letter? Waste of time. It felt like it needed to be there to attach some theme to this slog of a film.
    What was the point of the old man and the scene with the naked white guy sucking dick? Pointless. No offense, but not funny.
    Nobody in the film seemed to really react to anybody else, like everything was shot separately at different times. It was just fucking odd.

    All that shit could have been cut down or tightened up and made this ten times more interesting.

    For example, daisy just has her moment playing guitar. It doesn’t fit
    the story. The character. the scene. It was just a chance to shoe-horn
    in music and fuck around for a few minutes.

    It was also pretty predictable. I knew Kurt was getting jumped. I knew somebody was in on it with Daisy the moment they picked up the Second guy. It was just waiting for the hammer to fall. I also didn’t really see a point to showing the earlier setup with Minni either, as we already know what was going to happen and it added jack and shit. Like it’s a QT movie so it has to have something non-liner. They could have just had Tatum’s character fill all that in that he was his sister after Sam got shot, or have one of the other characters do it.

    I’m glad Kurt got some work.. but man this just felt wooden and forced.
    The QT narration was terrible too. Totally took me out of the film. Sam
    was ok, but they took his character a bit far with the old man
    mini-story and the son. I wasn’t offended, just bored. I’m fine with
    gore – I’m a horror movie fanatic. I’m fine with going over the top, but
    here – it just didn’t fit the story in my mind.

    There was decent cinematography outside in the opening shots.. but it
    was mostly one big room for 2 hours plus and nothing to brag about.

    I think a lot of new film nerds and QT fanboys will defend anything he
    does, but that don’t make it a good movie. I don’t think this film would
    get made if it wasn’t QT’s name attached to it… and boy I love how he
    threw up “QT’s 8th film” at the start, like he knows that’s enough to
    carry it.

    I think people are so desperate for a good movie they mistake something
    that’s rough on the edges, and not strictly a Hollywood based
    blockbuster to qualifies as a classic or something. Nah, you still need
    to edit, make it enjoyable, and write a good story. It was humorless and
    fairly flat. Usually QT can do some good offensive but sharp humor..
    here he is just captain try hard.

    It felt like QT jerking us all off because he can jerk us off and his built in fan base will absorb the shit.

    It’s worth one watch, but it’s not that funny, the story ain’t that
    interesting, and it’s pretty boring visually. I’m happy Mike didn’t eat it up.

    I feel like QT could film a turd in a microwave and his fans would .. eat it up.

    OH MY GOOOOD EAT IT UP!

  • RickMoranis

    “more transgendered”

    lol wut

  • bassbait

    I like all of his reviews quite a bit. One of my 2 favorite game reviewers. And what I like about his reviews most of all is that all of his reviews are JUST reviews. If he says something funny, it’s a point he’s making about the game. No cut-away gags or jokes that have NOTHING to do with the points he’s making. He’s entertaining just by his knowledge and understanding and ability to articulate those things.

  • RickMoranis

    Do you need to take a walk on the wild side, VvdD?

  • Actually, Doubleday did not create baseball, that was a rumor; but whatever. Common misconception. I think the baseball scene might have been ripped off from my script American Game which was making the rounds in Hollywood and never got made. It had a lot of the same concepts, but I can’t be certain. That happens a lot out here; and Sandler’s people have no ethics.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You spelled Revenant wrong. Comparing The Hateful 8 to The Revenant is unfair. The Revenant is a dark brutal, disturbing western. Hateful 8 is just meant to be fun not thoughtful like The Revenant. #ReadMyReview #SpellingShaming

  • GodSentUs

    It’s not unfair. one is a good film and one isn’t. One is a bad film and is endlessly dick sucked.

  • RickMoranis

    So, uh, does anyone else besides me think Beverly D’Angelo was really hot in the 80s? Just throwing that out there.

  • bassbait

    eh, she’s pretty I guess. Though I’m not like, *stunned* or anything.

    After watching Terminator 3 I’m pre-occupied with Claire Danes atm.

  • GodSentUs

    Predator 2 has tits. And blood.
    back when action movies weren’t for pussies.

  • GodSentUs

    Claire “plain jane” danes?

  • bassbait

    Those are far from reasons for me to watch movies.

  • bassbait

    Yes. She’s buttiful.

  • RickMoranis

    Claire Danes always makes me think of that hackjob Romeo and Juliet movie. But she actually was in a very good HBO movie based on the life of Temple Grandin, which Temple Grandin herself heartily approves of.

  • GodSentUs

    Hmmmm. mike kripke didn’t think so.

  • bassbait

    I never saw the Romeo and Juliet movie. Though I saw Shakespeare in Love. What a bunch of trash that was!

  • bassbait

    we all have our awkward middle school phases. John Conner used to be Edward Furlong!

  • GodSentUs

    My database does not encompass the dynamics of human peer ** bonding.

  • RickMoranis

    I just can’t stand Baz Luhrman movies. So much stupid.

  • bassbait

    I thought it was “peer” bonding.

    *talk to da hand!*

  • GodSentUs

    RELAX

  • bassbait

    I guess I agree on principle, but an unfortunately significant amount of me wants to see Moulin Rouge.

  • RickMoranis

    Moulin Rouge is Attention Deficit Disorder: The Movie. My brain can’t keep up with camera jerking at such ludicrous speeds.

  • GodSentUs

    Well you do think Claire Danes is hot. So i’m not sure what you’re working with.

  • bassbait

    My brain can keep up as long as Nicole Kidman’s on screen.

    When one of my favorite directors works with one of my favorite actresses, it’s the best feeling in the world. And for the record I’m referring to Eyes Wide Shut… and also Mulholland Drive for that matter.

  • RickMoranis
  • bassbait

    I wouldn’t say “hot” because I don’t really use that term to describe anyone. Boobs have never really interested me anyways. As for blood, well, if we’re talking Verhoeven squibs or Kubrick rivers of blood, then yes. If we’re talking just… blood? Then nah.

  • RickMoranis

    DON’T DO IT.

  • RickMoranis

    You say endlessly dick sucked like it’s a bad thing.

  • GodSentUs

    Yes. Let me just say nigger instead. Now it’s an instant classic.

  • bassbait
  • RickMoranis

    Woah, nelly. You need to unrustle your jimmies, hosehead. Have some beer and forget you ever happened.

  • RickMoranis

    https://sp.yimg.com/xj/th?id=OIP.Mb563b793030cc8a927ddec8c82f04c9bH0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300

    I may have had one or twelve too many. I just read “dick” and “suck” and those words together in general make me happy.

  • bassbait

    well if you like those things together then here’s something that sucks –

    http://puu.sh/moTOZ.jpg

  • RickMoranis

    I’VE BEEN ASS-AULTED!!

    HELP!
    WHERE’S PALPY!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey, save horrible incomprehensible comments like this for YouTube.

  • GodSentUs

    Says the guy trolling a very comprehensible post.

  • GodSentUs

    I hope not. He still basically plays himself amped up to 10. Its the same performance from all his movies. Leo yelling and screaming.

    Tom hardy acted all over him.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Wait, what? That makes no sense, kinda like comparing two completely different movies.

  • Thanatos2k

    I’m not sure historical accuracy was at the forefront of Sandler’s empty head when they were making this….

  • It would have been way better if they hadn’t cut this scene. It would have a Superman 3 quality to it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kayFrIR-Qfw

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I think Roth was fine as bear jew. Now his movies are a whole nother topic… And Rodriguez can shine from time to time. When they did the whole Grindhouse project Planet Terror blew Death Proof out the window

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Oh, there is actually outright Ecstasy of Gold on the soundtrack? It’s like, Tarantino is everyone, where you listen to a soundtrack and then you start figuring out your own scenes to go with it, but he just does that movie.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Desperado is pretty damn near perfect in my eyes, as a kid I saw it like 100 times.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s not used in the film.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Tarantino sucks!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yes I’m sure as a kid you watched it for entertaitment and not salma hayek’s…ermh beautiful eyes.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Worst filmmaker ever confirmed.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Oh trust me, I was into the shooting more. Plus, Banderas is the sexier one in there.

  • Paulus Nuns

    I didn’t care much about the movie, but I’m looking forward to the Behind the scenes stuff. It seems like this was a hellish shooting, Iñarritu has some interesting quotes too:

    “He said he would not consider the use of CGI to save money and avoid the harsh shooting conditions. “That’s exactly what I didn’t want,” said the director. “If we ended up in greenscreen with coffee and everybody having a good time, everybody will be happy, but most likely the film would be a piece of shit.”

    Which is totally questionable, but you gotta love his integrity.

  • ElectricPrism

    I wish we got a 2016 reboot of 2015 fuck you it’s january
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFyu9aAZow

    Edit: I mean Fuck You It’s Year!!!

  • tOmy`

    Really?

    I very much enjoyed the first 2 seasons, but I did have some problems with them.

  • memory vision dark crystal twa

    Can it be Jennifer Jason Leigh’s turd? Can it be Jennifer Jason Leigh’s turd circa. Rush (1991)?

    Let’s forget this is a Tarantino film. Let’s forget that something is being said with the cross, Jim Jones and that at the end (spoilers) it’s just a women, an African-American and a southern ignoramus. The movie is meant to be fun and that stuff is just there for the writer.

    I’m a fellow consumer and I remember westerns like The Quick and the Dead, The Way of the Gun and maybe Tombstone. I buy into the premise. The movie focuses on oral history i.e. the song featuring pirates. Wait a minute, there’s other things going on than just black and white?

    The flashback scene serves to tell us just who in the fuck that was. Not to compare movies, but say Kylo Ren and a couple of stormtroopers go to a cabin to set a trap for Luke. We gotta know just how dastardly these killers are. And a bonus, we get to see the bad guys in full regalia before they camouflage themselves and the air becomes 90% alien mosquitos.

    The correct spelling is goud. The ‘u’ is silent.

  • Like Icare

    Did anyone ever do a study to check for incidence of Asperger’s among the MRA crowd?
    Cause my cider senses are tingling that it may be above the average.
    Considering the whole… not understanding social and societal conventions thing.

    As for MGTOW… I applaud those fine gentlemen in their endeavor to remove themselves from the gene pool.
    Godspeed you fancy bastards!

  • tOmy`

    Well, Tarantino is an easy target:

    1) He is a self-indulgent asshole
    2) He likes his violence violent
    3) He might be a bit crazy

    But there is a distinctive way media go about it. I remembered, because someone posted the video when he slaps and kicks a paparazzi. Ever noticed how 99.9% of sources use the version of the video where it cuts right after he kicks him? And it starts a second or two before the slap?

    As I said, easy target. Fox love him.

  • tOmy`

    I think there is a slight problem, because they do these changes to established franchises (because what else is on screen, right?).

    I am all up for spicing things up with letting black actors taking leads or letting women vote and eventually letting them into the cinema, but when you do it with established franchises, these changes become too visible and it sorta starts undermining the whole idea behind why are you doing it in the first place.

    Look how Mad Max and Sicario got “away” with it without anyone caring (except few idiots). But make Bond a woman and world (aka internet) explodes.

  • ElectricPrism

    Live in a 1982 Cadillac Deville, die in a 1982 Cadillac Deville. Wait What?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Bond should be a black woman.

  • tOmy`

    You know, while I am pretty sure they would fuck it up (furthermore undermine this whole idea), I am all up for Bond being a woman.

    But they would have to be very clever about it. And “clever” isn’t exactly the name of the game of Bond franchise. A story like Casion Royale would be perfect for female lead – she needs to establish herself in the world of male agents, her first kill and so on. Other agents think she is shit and she got in just because M is a woman and so on and so on. She needs to prove herself.

    And as a fuck you to audience, she fucks two eye-candy, b-side male actors, to get what she wants.

    I would be more than happy with such idea.

  • tOmy`

    I am sorry, I forgot to put #trigger warning before saying she should fuck people.

    I know, I know, patriarchy and whatnot, but Bond fucks people. End of the story. Although it would be fun to watch them try work around it in a clever way.

  • tOmy`

    I know somebody from this comment section called Kill Bill Vol. 2 horrible. I don’t have time to go back and see who was it, so I am just gonna say it here and hope she / he* notices:

    No. Just no.

    *See what I did there?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I want to know how they would do the wicker chair bit. Wait, no I dont!

  • tOmy`

    You know what would be fun? If she has to save like an agent in the end (you know, proving herself), you know, like he was captured or fucked something up? So after she saves him, they go to some island hotel for some “R&R”.

    Shot of the agent lying in bed, waiting for her to come back to her room. And she shows up with a different bloke, with a look on her face saying: “Oh. Really? I am… I am sorry, I don’t fuck losers.”

    Roll credits.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Nah. I was too busy fantasizing about Mary Steenburgen.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Yes, you used “no” inappropriately. Just like the other poster used “horrible” inappropriately.

    The word you both are looking for is “bloated.”

    That is all.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Oh Lord. MOULIN ROUGE was the worst date I ever had with any woman.

  • tOmy`

    I think that after KB1, KB2 was exactly what it needed to be and more.

    Watching these two movies in one sitting is one of my favorite movie experiences. It just works damn well for me.

  • tOmy`

    It’s not atrocious. And there are some cool songs.

    I liked the look of the movie, but that’s about it.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    There’s some sort of over-the-counter pill one can take for that, I’m certain.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Bloated. Just bloated.”

  • tOmy`

    Is it that kind that makes you go back to certain Revenant review and read that whole part about movies being subjective?

    BOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Comparing the two is not totally wrong. Despite the fact they are tonally opposite, there is a very large swath of the critical community who have claimed both speak allegorically about race and violence and machismo as important motivators in American nation-building.

    They are quite similar in cinematic look.
    They are both intense, and both use shock to entertain.
    They are both movies, and anyone can compare two movie experiences, especially taken within a week of each other.

    Where they do not compare is in quality. One is an OK time but very, very flawed, and the other is a masterpiece.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Oh, suddenly there’s this big, bloody hole in my chest!

    When did you forget that we flirt by picking on each other?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    It’s the “endlessly” that’s problematic.

    You ever stayed in a pool too long and seen what that does to your fingers? Now, think again, except switch “fingers” and “penis.”

  • Spoiled Ants

    Ever since I saw that scene (and to this day) I’m waiting for that Blackbeard Vs Predator movie.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Look at Jay, enjoying all that processed Chinese and horse-dick.

  • Like Icare

    Funny thing is… that little poll of theirs actually has a representative sample.
    With a confidence interval (5.56%) and level (95%) that are rather acceptable.
    https://www.checkmarket.com/market-research-resources/sample-size-calculator/

    ON THE OTHER HAND… their conclusion is utterly baseless as they can’t tell from that poll if they’ve influenced people to see or not to see the movie.
    Maybe they actually earned those extra millions for Disney.
    “You won’t believe why MRAs don’t want you to see this movie!”

    That is, if one is willing to accept such an extrapolation at face value.
    It IS a voluntary, single binary question poll, with no additional data that could be used to filter those results.

  • Like Icare

    It’s usually cider senses, not spider senses, that are responsible for full bladder detection.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    “So, n—a, who you got for the game? Skins?”

    “Nah, Big Sleezy. I’m a Packer.”

    END SCENE

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    How about this? How about they write a movie with a female lead as a spy with her own characteristics and exciting situations instead of those ripped-off from “James Bond”?

    Now, that might actually be something worthwhile. The other thing is just the usual rebooting but with lady parts.

    Pre-emptive: Yeah, sue me. I think dad’s should have equal access to custody in a divorce. I guess, I’mma MRAsshole.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    The assumption that established superhero children’s characters have to yield movies “for everyone” boggles me.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Well, just the part about Space Cop.

    The exact line is…

    “Jeebus Chrissy, that’s a big fyucking bear!

    His name…Space Cop. Coming in 2016.”

    (You might not have gotten it because it was spoken in Pawnee.)

  • Spoiled Ants

    Rumors say they write their treatment on toilet paper.
    So now we know where their ideas come from.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Fassbender? For? JOBS?

  • Spoiled Ants

    I wouldn’t call it horrible.
    Terrible or bloated would be more fitting.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I’m amazed anybody even believes Abrams means what he says when he says “Good morning.”

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Best comeback to a putdown ever on the internet, I think.

  • Spoiled Ants

    OK then, so we don’t have to watch the rest.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F-peHhdYqM

  • tOmy`

    Yup, I agree with that. As I said in the first post, the “problem” is that they are trying to change the established franchises rather than creating something new, and maybe more fitting.

    That is why it feels so obvious, on the nose and borderline unnecessary.

    The only one who got my attention and some interest is Marvel; after they semi-successfully tried to give Blackwidow at least some backstory, pulled of Jessica Jones and apparently not fucking up Agent Carter, I assume these guys could potentially come up with something solid out of their franchise.

    The problem is that Scarlett might be a bit too much of an eye candy – they could however do an origin story, spy story with a different actress as a young Blackwidow.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    There is no “try to make Quentin Tarantino look like a jerk in real life.” There is just “do” or “do not.” Or, Quentin Tarantino be himself just let.

  • tOmy`

    I shall unboggle it for you: Shit. Load. Of. Money.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Well, you have to consider the fact that Black Widow and Jessica Jones were both unknown quantities, as far as anyone outside of a comic book store is concerned. So, there’s no reason for film-makers to do anything with them except present them as they have been in the source material. If they had missed, then they could’ve re-jiggered.

    That’s a completely different thing than, say, let’s make The Mandarin a Hindi or Bond a black woman.

    (P.S. I realize you already said all this for me when you admitted you felt re-gendering “undermines” the whole intent.)

  • Like Icare

    Actually… no.
    There’s something about her Cybill Shepherdesque looks I always found off putting for some reason.

  • Like Icare

    With your mouth full of booze and your nose full of coke your head is technically not empty.

  • Michael Collins

    Because he’s Irish.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    You think Marvel movies get their shitload of money from children? Sure, there are children in the audience, but not in the percentages that there are children in the audience for a cartoon about penguins.

    Marvel does not make their movies for children. They make their movies for immature adults who think tony snark is clever. See what I did there?

    My point wasn’t “children” anyway. My point was the supposed need to have an LGBT superhero of a brown ethnicity in a movie that also had previously-established name recognition.

    That’s just stupid. I doubt there’s a single African lesbian (just as an example) wishing she saw herself as the lead when see saw a Batman movie. She’s too busy wishing she could see a movie about her own experiences.

  • Like Icare

    Behind. As usual.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Speaking of disappointment…

    I still think THE MARTIAN is a lock for the Best Picture Oscar.

    (I did not say I thought it deserves it.)

  • Like Icare

    I’d say more of a Robocop wannabe quality.
    Which doesn’t really gel with the general feel of the franchise… but leave that in and take “talk to the hand” parts out (both of them) and the glasses gag… and it would have been a far more entertaining movie.

  • Like Icare

    I have to give it an extra star for the sake of the ending.

  • Like Icare

    Call it “Alcoholic Nympho Assassin” instead.
    See the explosion explode while exploding.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I saw it yesterday. It was an alright feel-good movie with some pretty exciting parts.

  • Like Icare
  • bleurgh

    No. Not this.

  • tOmy`

    Fuck kids, what did they ever do for Marvel? But yea, their “everyone” is pretty simple actually:

    If you make a movie for children, you will lose much bigger part of the demographic than when you make an young-adult movie.

    Look at them movies: They are suitable for people from 12+ to fucking 40. For dates. For “let’s get drunk and watch stupid shit”. For blowing off steam after hard week at work. I guess what am I saying is that if you aim right down to the middle, it yields better results than aiming to one of the “extremes” (kids or old grumpy people with their lawns).

    Oh my god, it’s just like house music.

  • tOmy`

    The naive, F&F loving me hopes for Mad Max.

    Or, you know, F&F.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of the racial diversity in movies: Do you know which blockbuster has the most diverse cast? That’s right, Fast and Furious.

    Fighting for the social justice one gear at a time. Also: The white guy is dead, so it’s upping the stakes even more.

  • Palpatine

    I hope RLM does another “F*ck You, It’s January” video soon.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Palpatine

    I laughed.

  • tOmy`

    Dat car stunt tho. Looked so… real.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    arkham games have better CGI then this POS

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m amazed that “From Director Zack Snyder” is still used as a selling point.

  • Palpatine

    He was driving fast. And furiously.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    The man’s got plently of fans. I mean there have been people that defend Sucker Punch so that loyality is actually pretty high.

  • Michael Collins

    DotD and Watchmen are pretty good movies I would venture.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yeah, but he is a guy that has had more flops than hits.

    Dawn of the Dead: hit
    300: hit
    Watchmen: flop
    Guardians of Ga’hoole: flop
    Sucker Punch: flop
    Man of Steel: underperformed

  • Palpatine

    I liked 300. That’s about it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I could make a list of why that trailer is hilarious but it would not be as concise as the trailer. “Hey Superboy, I’m going to get youuuu”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Remember when Superman movies had the Man of Steel rescuing kitties and foiling suction-cup burglars at every turn? I think even Batman cracked a joke or two in the first couple of movies. Am I just insane?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Domo

    That thump the batmobile makes when hitting Superman’s thigh is worthy of a Razzie.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I don’t even know what the fuck happened. It looked like the car split when it hit him or something but I guess it didn’t? And why would Superman not be affected by a speeding vehicle running him over? Does he defy gravity? Is he extra heavy, so he’s like an immovable object? You’d think he’d be thrown by a car just like everyone else, it just wouldn’t do any physical damage to him.

  • bassbait

    you just gave me a brilliant idea. A James Bond movie in which Bond is a woman, and she has to stop the internet from exploding!!! Because the internet has gone off the deep end with nerd rage!

  • RLMkeepitup

    is the random high piano note going to be a trailer thing now?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I thought you were going to comment on how bad the cinematography is.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I could swear I have heard that sound effect before. Probably in some Lego game or something.

  • RLMkeepitup

    it’s like the whole movie is in the trailer

  • bassbait

    From director M. Night Snyder.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Of course it’s not. I’m not saying that has someone who didn’t like the movie, in fact I never saw it, but it’s a science fiction film. Not one has won Best Picture and it’s chances of getting nominated and slim because there are a lot of great movies that have come out this.

  • bassbait

    The dream I had just now was really intense. It had Tarantino levels of gore actually, and yet the gore was far from the most intense part.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You probably watched The Revenant.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    At least it’s the worst movie title.

  • Domo

    It reminds me of this scene that was shown in the Die Hard HiTB, particularly where the gunman jumps out of the helicopter and lands with a resounding thud on top of a passing SUV.

    https://youtu.be/I_GPgY5mgq8?t=3m31s

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s a pretty bad one though.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    M. Night Shyamalan has fans.

    I just wanted to throw this out there.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I think the dumbest part of that recent trailer is when Clark asks who Bruce Wayne is.

    I guess you can argue that he’s just playing dumb, but for a reporter to not know who Bruce Wayne is, and then basically unload all of his moral vomit on him two minutes later doesn’t quite add up. “Hey guy I didn’t know until just now, ANSWER FOR THE MORAL CRIMES OF YOUR CITY!”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Notice how when the car hits him, it goes out of frame to Superman’s right side. Then when it hits the building it’s going past his left side, instead.

    Visionary directing!

  • bassbait

    The Happening was great!

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    It was!

    I think with exception of your opinions regarding Tarantino, I love you.

  • bassbait

    Ok I have a question that probably has several answers which means it’s either a decent question or a really bad one –

    are there any horror movies that take a looong time to establish an emotional connection with the characters/main character, so that when things start to get bad, it’s more emotionally charged for the audience? And I’m specifically looking for a horror movie that doesn’t indulge heavily in bullshit gore or shock value, but rather actually relies mostly on the emotional connection in order to make the scary parts “scary”?

  • bassbait

    I love me too.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I just can’t shake the fact that Ben Affleck looks like a dad in a Halloween costume in that snug Batman suit.

  • bassbait

    I can’t shake Ben Affleck’s chin. I mean, I literally can’t, it’s like it’s made out of thick titanium or something.

    It also distracts me from every movie he’s in.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Do you think they took note of how horrible Bale was and told Affleck to literally watch his mouth? Like, you know, to not look like a mouth-breathing, baffled idiot all the time?

  • tOmy`

    #OccupyOregon

  • tOmy`
  • tOmy`

    Justif-

    I mean True Detective.

  • bassbait

    *establishing shot of ass*

  • dollar store cashier wife

    in a financial sense you mean? cause I think his fans enjoyed Man of Steel/Sucker Punch plenty.

    ” sooo much good action ! “

  • dollar store cashier wife

    True Detective season 2 was scary alright. As scary as my taint.

  • tOmy`

    The only thing beating the booty-fixation of this movie is the ass-of-the-Skyline-fixation.

  • bassbait

    that sounds like something I’d watch.

  • tOmy`

    Yea. I absolutely hated the jumpscare when you realized there is still like 6 episodes to go.

  • tOmy`

    He also sounds like that kinda dad who trick-or-treats for vodka shots, rather than candy.

  • RLMkeepitup

    and instead of getting in peoples faces or smashing them up, Assflex will whisper tiny insults from the shadows or when people are walking away

  • WrongWithYourFace

    This works better in half speed.

  • bassbait

    sorry, what I should have said was

    *asstablishing shot*

  • RickMoranis

    Is that the sequel to Gigli?

  • tOmy`

    Are you saying it is…

    [inhales]

    too Tokyo Dri-

    Oh, shit, I fucked it up.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I dun geddit.

  • tOmy`

    *directing

  • RickMoranis

    Why does Matthew McKahnahay always look so punchable?

  • tOmy`

    Because time is a flat circle.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Does it mean if you fold Matthew Macaulay’s face in half, you can travel to another galaxy?

  • tOmy`
  • tOmy`

    Yes. As long as the light keeps on winning. Or something like that.

    #2deepBrah

  • RickMoranis

    I’m thinking of The Neverending Story for some reason.

  • Paulus Nuns

    You should watch Thesis by Amenabar, more like a horror-thriller, but it brings a emotional connection to the characters, Did you like the Babadook?

  • bassbait

    Artax!!!

  • bassbait

    I didn’t finish it because I was spooked.

  • tOmy`

    According to Batmannoobs, you clearly missed the point:

    “I love the stark differences between these two TV spots. Superman clearly owned the first one but Bruce Wayne commanded the second one. Superman is mightier than Batman but Bruce Wayne is mightier than Clark Kent. <3"

    <3

  • Michael Collins

    The Exorcist

  • bassbait

    Exorcist actually made me laugh more than be scared. It wasn’t bad though.

  • tOmy`

    Wh-what?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    This episode made me happy.

    It reminded me a bit of the “The Wolverine” vs “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” review.

    Except that the opinion on the value of “Ridiculous Six” seems to be indisputable.

    For a few weeks I would open up my Netflix app and Ridiculous Six would be perched right at the top, aggressively suggesting I watch it.

    And I was just like… no.

  • Paulus Nuns

    I won’t spoil it, but I think it loses steam…Man, I wish I could feel spooked by these movies. I only experience fear with not-horror movies…

  • Michael Collins

    That just means you’re an idiot, or a protestant!

  • bassbait

    it has to lose steam necessarily. The set-up is too good for a pay off that matches it.

  • bassbait

    both.

  • bassbait

    I legitimately do not understand why it’s considered one of the scariest horror films to this day. Nothing about it was the kind of thing to “keep me up at night”. Little girls are only scary when they’re in The Shining.

  • bassbait

    the set up is what made me turn it off though. It plays into some very specific fears of mine that most horror movies don’t even attempt, let alone succeed at. The film would probably be more effective if I didn’t finish it anyways because the fear gets removed once the film *shows* the “monster”.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    What kind of mongoloid wrote that comment and can I get an apology from the condom factory on the behalf on his father?

  • tOmy`

    That sites keeps on giving:

    “Credit where it’s due… the way the Batmobile just bounced off Superman was badass!”

    Or as someone else eloquently put it:

    “Superman gave no fucks. NO FUCKS PEOPLE, Ask him if he bleeds, he just flies baby.”

    #HeJustFliesBaby

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Did you bring the cavalry?
    – Woman, I am the calvary.

    Learn to speech you dum muscle!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    James Wan is a visionary filmmaker and a good human being.

  • Jason Ross

    I just watched a few parts of it last night. It was really, really terrible. Lots of actor cameos , but no substance. Unless you consider misogyny and donkey shit as substance.

  • bassbait

    Insidious was ok. Saw was shit. Never saw anything else he did.

  • RickMoranis

    No doesn’t mean no to Adam Sandler.

    #NoMeansNo #NetflixRape

  • RLMkeepitup

    did you watch the shining and exorcist at different ages? just curious

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Rosemary’s Baby, off the top of my head.

  • bassbait

    I thought you were talking about the MRA website again, until I saw “lots of actor cameos”. Oooooh!

  • Michael Collins

    Yeah, the acting/lighting/pacing/sound design/tone/music, all made it seem like a comedy to you, we get it, you didn’t.

  • bassbait

    kind of? I saw The Shining at 14 or 15 and The Exorcist at 17 or so.

    The Shining is much scarier than The Exorcist though. No competition. The Exorcist never even put me on edge, and The Shining still does to this day.

  • Palpatine

    Halloween.

  • bassbait

    I feel as if you’re insulted that I didn’t think the movie was scary.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Fast&Furious is all you need bby.

  • Palpatine

    Really?

  • bassbait

    that’s pretty fair. Yea. And I just watched that recently too, so idk why I didn’t think of it. Though the other characters that aren’t Jamie Lee Curtis are a bit weak.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    In The Babadook, the monster is never really shown. Only differing perceptions of it. Because, it’s not really a monster as much as it’s a malevolent force.

    And I, for one, don’t think it loses any steam. SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER Interestingly, it’s maybe the only horror movie where no one gets murdered. Perhaps that’s why some people think it’s weak.

  • bassbait

    yes. I remember the first time I saw it was with my drummer, my guitarist, and my drummer’s dad, and my drummer’s dad was personally offended by me not thinking The Exorcist was the scariest movie ever made. But I didn’t think it was bad or anything.

  • Palpatine

    The Shining is more creepy than it is scary.

  • bassbait

    for me, it’s the children’s book that fucked me up. Because the places my imagination went based off of the imagery and the children’s rhyme was really dark in a way where I just did *not* want to see it brought to life on film. But I knew the film wouldn’t live up to the kind of thing I expected, so whatever the rest of the film ends up being, it’s not what I had in my mind, that’s for sure.

  • Palpatine

    I think it is. The premise of the movie is why it’s so scary.

  • tOmy`

    It’s like a warm blanket made of nitrous.

  • Michael Collins

    No man, if you said The Godfather was a shit movie, I wouldn’t feel insulted, if you said The Exorcist was a comedy, I wouldn’t feel insulted, if you said the prequels were better than the OT, I wouldn’t feel insulted, I wouldn’t be inclined to care much for what you said, tbh!

  • bassbait

    if not for the fact that I already know exactly what happens in every scene, I would have turned off the movie at the scene where Jack enters room 237. I just can’t handle that shit.

    Same goes for Mulholland Drive. When Betty enters the apartment, that scene fucks me up every time. Also, when the man at winky’s diner goes to the alley-way. If you want to know what scares me, you might be able to see a common thread between these three scenes lol.

  • Paulus Nuns

    I agree, but then you have those moments with Danny alone, and the fucking elevator, even the blowing furry ghost. The use of music, zooms and quick edits is perfect.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Yeesh.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    It’s the new BWAHM.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    So you’re saying Drummer’s Dad would be a scarier movie?

  • bassbait

    The Exorcist was well shot, acted, paced, etc. But it wasn’t scary, it was funny. It doesn’t play into any of my fears, and as a result it comes off looking like a comedy. It tries very hard to scare people and when you try *that* hard and fail, it ends up being humorous. I wouldn’t be insulted by people saying The Shining was a comedy either… because I think that the film is actually *trying* to be one.

    And The Godfather is good, the OT is better than the prequels, for the record.

  • bassbait

    his breath stinks like hell, so yes.

  • tOmy`

    “Looks like Supes sending a message to Batman. Fucking Batman just stands right up to him and asks the most powerful man on the planet if he bleeds. LET’S GOOOOO!!”

    Okay, enough of this shit for now. Back to work.

  • RickMoranis

    Speaking of movie recommendations, has anyone seen any decent found footage movies lately? They’re my guilty pleasure. I liked The Taking of Deborah Logan, Grave Encounters, Creep, As Above So Below, and Europa Report.

  • bassbait

    you mean the premise that the devil/demons are real and have possessed a little girl?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Wait. What? The gas station doesn’t blow up like Hiroshima?

    Superman’s become such a pussy.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “Superman gave no fucks. NO FUCKS PEOPLE, Ask him if he bleeds, he just flies baby.”

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    LOL. I think I just found my next Username.

    #HeJustFliesBaby

  • RLMkeepitup

    interesting as they both have undertones of religious haunting (burial ground or catholicism). Kubricks perfection in filming aside, I think Friedkin? did a fantastic job with the material in exorcist. I probably saw exorcist younger than you, which is why it frightened me more.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Not a big fan of the format but I did enjoy Trollhunter.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Now I want to see Adam Sandler get mauled by a bear.

  • tOmy`
  • bassbait

    there are many differences between the two. First of all, The Exorcist is about one little girl being possessed while The Shining on a surface level is about a haunted hotel. Both can be seen as metaphors for sure, but The Shining is much more *about* the metaphor than The Exorcist ever felt like it was. Kubrick is a repeatedly announced agnostic and interviews made it apparent that he wasn’t interested in telling a typical ghost story, and it’s arguable that The Shining is even about ghosts at all, because that’s never established. What The Shining is about, and Kubrick said this himself, is a family going insane together. Having your father turn on you, not knowing what the fuck is going on as everything around you comes crashing down, etc etc etc. There are some genuinely scary ideas woven into The Shining that aren’t present in The Exorcist.

    Not that what *is* in The Exorcist can’t be scary to people too, just that it wasn’t scary to me. Like how Jay says that when he watches movies about AI he only sees robots? When I watch movies about scary little girls, I only see little girls. The Shining made this actually *work* because I feel as though that’s what you’re supposed to see… the girls aren’t trying to scare Danny as much as trying to warn Danny, and the scene where it shows their corpses is very effective as a result of the impeccable direction and the storytelling idea that these are victims of a past that is doomed to repeat itself.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’d like to see him in one of those saw movies, too much?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Nah.

  • RickMoranis
  • WrongWithYourFace

    Maybe he’ll make a parody of that Backcountry film… It’ll be called Frontcountry. And it’ll have plenty of dick jokes.

  • RickMoranis

    I enjoyed that one too. Forgot to mention it.

  • Palpatine

    Yes.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    It’s not a science fiction film as much as it is a rah-rah ‘Merica Owns Space movie. It is optimistic. It doesn’t challenge any preconceptions. It’s more APOLLO 13 than it is GRAVITY. Ridley Scott is considered an Oscar-caliber director.

    Name the movie that strokes more Academy genitalia?

  • tOmy`

    Yeah.

  • bassbait

    Idk, devil/demon stuff of that kind never got to me. It’s like the whole “You’ve got a bagul problem!” thing. Which is fair because The Exorcist is about a demon named Pazuzu.

  • tOmy`

    And the religious aspect as well.

    Remember when I said we can’t have original zombies because of religion? I wasn’t lying.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think Sandler would make a great Timothy Treadwell if he were to do a bio-pic.

  • bassbait

    see, for me that’s the issue. The religious aspect dissolves the tension for me.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    THE EXORCIST improves immensely when seen in a theater with lots of people and a good sound system, whereas THE SHINING can be appreciated by yourself alone in your room.

  • tOmy`

    This is a great metaphor for Hollywood vs. The Audience.

  • bassbait

    maybe that’s why I like it more! Because I’m alone *cries*

    no but really, seeing a movie in theaters doesn’t impact my experience other than usually just to make it worse. Except Dr. Strangelove where it got better… but that’s Kubrick, Kubrick’s films only age better with time for me.

    Horror scares me the most when I’m alone anyways. Theaters means I’m surrounded by people, so I always feel safe.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    But anyone of those people could be a psychopath murderer.

  • tOmy`

    “My backcountry just got mauled by a bear.”
    “Tell me about it, my frontcountry just got mauled by a beaver.”

    Roll credits.

  • bassbait

    a psychopath murderer possessed by pazuzu?!? Shut down the theater!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    By “in theater” I’m specifically talking about the size of the screen, the sound, the total darkness, no distraction, ideally.

    Those things are necessary for THE EXORCIST to have full effect, I think.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I also got the family going insane part from exorcist, the mom in particular breaking down and being forced from a position of affluence to a morbid ordeal that money, despite her attempts, could not cure. Having a child turn on you is more frightening to me than a parent, because I could run away, etc. For example, fleeing the hotel. I guess the difference is that Kubrick left his movie (slightly?) more open ended than Friedkin. Exorcist flirts that the causes may have psychological (brain lesion), perhaps projected with catholic imagery. Kubrick flirts with Nicholson just breaking down psychologically. But then Friedkin flat out tells you its the devil (which lets face it most folks know doesn’t exist), whereas with Shining it could have all been a mental breakdown.. although many scenes with Danny suggest it is a haunting and how does Jack get out of the freezer ? We know ghosts don’t exist either. But what did the wife see in the bedroom? I like both films and am not sure which is more frightening for me.

  • tOmy`

    One out of 100 people is supposed to be a sociopath.

    Let that one sink in.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Seems really low to me.

  • bassbait

    perhaps. If I have a chance and got nothing better to do I’ll see for myself.

    But I find that to be a failure of video games and movies when they require having the sound super loud and the room super dark in order to work. 2001 scared the hell out of me in a well lit room, so if 2001 can do it, the “greatest horror movie of all time” should be able to do it as well.

  • tOmy`

    It’s low until you realize you might as well know some sociopaths. Intimately.

    Now, I am not sure whether this statistic still counts as a factual one (because it is pretty fucking hard to find out), but that shit is creepy.

  • bassbait

    I’ve known sociopaths. Sociopaths aren’t very scary. They’re just kind of assholes if you know them for too long. I had a sociopath do some real fucked up shit to me once but I’m long past that.

  • #doglivesmatter

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    You’re not incorrect, but you’re talking “demographics,” which I insist is a far different thing than “for everybody.” Comic book superhero movies, Action movies, movies with fast cars, movies with robots — These are NOT movies for everybody. These are just (big, as in popular) niches being scratched.

    I’ve gotten this discussion twisted like knickers, but I really believe the idea that a bunch of rich, white film producer dudes sit around and think “what market will we capture if we make Batman a chick?” should be identified for what it is: Exploitation. Instead of how it’s taken by the current generation: You know, Diversity.

    Now, before you get off my lawn, would you please mow it?

  • bassbait

    running away from the hotel is easy when it’s snowed in and Jack’s sabotaged your means of escape.

    I’ve heard four semi-acceptable theories as to the plot for The Shining –

    1.Jack went insane while locked in the freezer.

    2.Ghosts are real
    3.The entire ending is just a re-enactment of the story that Jack was writing, and never happened.
    4.Jack got out of the freezer because Danny let him out with the intention of getting him to die so that way him and Wendy could be free from Jack’s assholery.

    I think that the “Jack gets let out of the freezer” bit was brilliant. I think that Kubrick wanted to make it hard to determine what really happened and used that scene as a chance to throw everyone off. I don’t know what *really* happened and THAT is scarier than any theory. Being told “it’s ghosts” is lame. Thinking it may have been something more? But never knowing? That’s effective.

    2001 is the same way. Show, don’t tell.

  • tOmy`

    You’ve known sociopaths? You must be one hell of a psychoanalyst, since even professionals have troubles identifying them.

    I remember one who claimed that it took him 13 years of therapy to crack one sociopath.

    Kudos to you.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, yea, sure, I know that the word “everybody” is misused (and I keep on misusing it), but I usually chose it because it is clear what I am aiming at.

    Also, mowing your lawn? What am I, a Mexican?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Do I count myself in this game?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Jejejejejeje.

  • bassbait

    I don’t believe that it’s exploitation in every case, though it is in many cases. Better to look at individual cases of movies and see how well the films work with what they got. This is why I think it’s better not to focus on the decisions behind the scenes and just see the movie for what it is as a self-contained piece. If it’s rich white guys making good movies, then good movies are still being made. They should be held accountable for making bad movies if anything, and people complaining about how “movies are too PC” are focusing on a minor problem over the much more major problem of “movies are trying to get your money without offering a product that’s worth your time”. This isn’t true across the board, not even with blockbuster films, but I feel like the hate should be saved for the real middle finger films (Terminator 3!!!) rather than any film that happens to attempt more diversity, even just for demographic appeal (The Force Awakens). Force awakens is doing demographic appeal because they want people to enjoy it. Terminator 3 is so see-through in being only about making money.

    Obviously you can feel about TFA the way I feel about T3 if you want, but the fact is at least TFA was *somewhat* different from previous installments, compared to T3 which is just a remake with a big middle finger added to the entire tone and message of the first two films.

  • “So if your a** is in this house, it’s my a**. So you move it upstairs and take a shower. And you make sure it’s a good shower, ’cause I’m comin’ up after to see how clean you are”.

    His name… Space Cop

  • OMNI

    Are you a Christian, Catholic? I was raised Jewish and found the Exorcist to be freaky-funny and sometimes scary. Aside from that its an excellent movie. It did fail at trying to bring the Catholic mythos into modern times.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I def agree don’t have jaws jump over the boat in the opening act. That’s one thing both films did well is the build up, at least for me. Each time they go up to the girls room I don’t know what to expect next. Each time it flashes to a new day in Shining I think how can it get worse. I suppose Jack did say he thought danny self inflicted his bruises and the film suggests he has imaginary friends but the part where the mom seeings a room of spider webs and the ghost man is the weakest part of the film for me.

  • bassbait

    sociopath basically means lacking empathy. I have a friend who outright TOLD me he was a sociopath. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a sociopath disorder, and I’ve had several friends whose parents were narcissists. I had even gotten myself into significant trouble with one. Narcissists are fucked up, and it’s a common thread among friends of mine, who are psychologically damaged for having had narcissists as parents. Most of them had to cut ties with their NPD parents as a result. I wish I could say that’s the worst thing that happened with my friends.

  • bassbait

    I am what you would call, not spiritual in any way.

  • bassbait

    I guess. Most of the film didn’t scare me, because like I said in a different comment, I think The Shining is secretly meant to be a comedy. Kubrick has had a sense of black humor in every film from Lolita to Barry Lyndon, with 2001 excluded. Why would The Shining, a very dark film, be an exception all of a sudden?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I’m not talking about “honest” diversity. Half of the movies I empathized with last year had subtitles. I am 100% in favor of film diversity. That goes for types of films and subject matters as much as it does racial and/or gender profiling.

    I’m talking about the recasting of established characters to fit someone’s idea of demographic inclusion. tOmy has already said it better than me, but that’s divisive and contradicts the intent.

    People complaining that movies are “too PC” are just mis-pronouncing the problem, as well.

    Make a movie about a young girl in space having amazing adventures. I might not enjoy that, but I’m all for it. Make a movie about Luke Skywalker in a dress, though, and I gotta pass.

  • OMNI

    Thus the Exorcist being comedic. It just doesn’t work as a horror movie unless one has deep Catholic leanings or is young. The Shining never scared me either, but it made me tense and on the edge of my seat. Both are excellent movies.
    One movie everyone forgets is The Changeling with George C Scott. That is a scary Ghost story/mystery that is set up in the first few agonizing minutes. I also saw a real apparition so true ghost stories really scare me. Ghost are real…

  • RLMkeepitup

    well maybe there it is, the party goer with the blood stained head giving a toast to the mom fits. i always laugh at the slow pan to the nude afro chick pictures of scatman crothers

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    That comment section. hahahaha

  • bassbait

    I definitely did not think of Rey as Luke in a dress.

    Like you said, you don’t have a problem with “honest” diversity. So the problem isn’t even the diversity, it’s the dishonesty. I’m fine with that. People should identify the real problems of film-making and hollywood. The problem is shitty products, and the cause of the problem is shitty producers.

    If they make James Bond black, and the film ends up being one of the best James Bond movies, then is it an issue that he’s black? And if the film is shitty, then is the problem that James Bond is black? Or is the problem that the producers didn’t work hard enough to make a worthwhile experience? That’s what I’m trying to say basically.

    I usually “fight the fight” by just not SEEING big budget cash grab movies. I paid money in the theater to see Upstream Color. Because that film was *good*, and I supported the director, and he deserves the money because he works extremely hard to make great products. And it also happened to have a woman lead and themes that relate to that fact in a good way. Primer did not have those things and it was also very good. The end result being that Shane Carruth makes good art and good products, and I have no reason to complain.

    HITB helps me figure out which movies to avoid. Hint – all of them.

  • OMNI

    I always tell people that A Clockwork Orange is a comedy…Then I get the sideways looks. Kubrick is definitely a mind-fucker.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    It’s totally comedy.

    Black, satirical comedy.

  • bassbait

    A Clockwork Orange is a overtly declared satire. There is no satire without some element of humor involved. Dr. Strangelove is a satire of politics/war. A Clockwork Orange is a satire of modern culture and other movies/artworks kinda. The Shining is a satire of horror tropes and toxic family structures. Full Metal Jacket is satirical too. He very often does satirical films, so I don’t see how it goes unnoticed. Maybe because he’s subtle? I didn’t know subtlety included “HEEEEEERE’S JOHNNY!”

  • OMNI

    Try the Changeling with George C Scott. Excellent forgotten classic..

  • bassbait

    yea. I used to be religious but not catholic, and I can say this much – the fear wasn’t so much that the devil was super evil and could just *possess* you out nowhere. That sounds dumb to me, even as a kid. Back then, the fear was falling from God by your own mistakes and decisions, not being physically occupied by satan.

    The fear of becoming something worse, something inhuman even. That’s scary. There’s no fear of just random satan occupation.

    I guess my problem is that The Exorcist is too logical. When the logic can be explained, the effect is ruined. The Shining leaves everything open, which makes no part of the film a disappointment. There is no “WELL YA SEE, YOU GOT A PAZUZU PROBLEM HERE” moment. It’s just things that are utterly incomprehensible happening to people who are losing their mind. That, for better or worse, is more interesting. And I think it made The Shining incredible. Funny at times, scary at times, and great all the time.

  • NicCagesHair
  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Well, Rey was Luke in Luke-like clothes. She just happened to be a girl.

    “If they make James Bond black, and the film ends up being one of the best James Bond movies, then is it an issue that he’s black?” Yes. Because we’re not talking about quality, success, or other James Bond movies. We’re talking about a character who is established as a white British male. Sorry. that’s as much of his character as his martinis.

    Let’s say it another way. Say they make a movie about Agent oo8, and other characters constantly tease her with “Bond” cracks, and that turns out to be one of the best Bond movies ever made. I’m fine with it. I’d rather they put that effort into making one of the best movies about an original female spy, but I know how this thing works these days: Brands. Logos. Safe. Lazy.

    I understand your point. I think it’s mine that is confused.

    So, lemme try again: Make a movie about a gay Spider-Man, just don’t call it SPIDER-MAN unless it’s explained why this character isn’t Peter Parker and why his homosexuality is part of the story. Otherwise, the film-makers are just using bigotry differently than most bigots.

  • bassbait

    Nah, see, Spider-man is dime store trash. So is 007. Neither of them are “high art” so I give 0 fucks about character integrity. I don’t even like 007 for that matter.

    Established series tend to be… shit? Is that the word? Yea, it is.

    going back to Terminator, I loved T1. Loved T2. T3 was shit. Was I bothered by the fact that there was a female terminator? Not really, because the movie sucked shit regardless. I had some nitpicks about why a female terminator wouldn’t make sense story-wise (because why would skynet give a fuck about gender with regards to their terminators?) but if the movie was good it wouldn’t have been much of an issue to me. The movie just wasn’t any good.

    Like I said, we’re not talking about high art. We’re talking about commercial diarrhea. Who cares what color the diarrhea is?

    And if I’m sounding condescending rn it’s because I’m pre-occupied and can’t flesh out my words into more respectful language.

  • Paulus Nuns

    I will, that’s one of the classics I’ve never watched.

  • bassbait

    it’s a much funnier watch with this subtext.

  • Earth

    Reminds me of a certain other movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RN1-uTAHjNo

  • RLMkeepitup

    Treadwell got more than mauled, a very grizzly fate #nature

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Spotlight. It will win.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    I had a really good time watching Creep few months ago. Going to check your recommendations then.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Really, the guy editing these together is my hero.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxrjmAbFoIk

  • Cream-A-Thon

    History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    sellout hack frauds. I’d consider suicide if I was Mick&Jake knowing that a single PreRec stream probably raises more money then a HiTB episode.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    They deserve every penny for actually reading the Twitch chat.

  • bassbait

    those brave souls…

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I wish. That’s a much better movie. However, I think it’s “downer” subject matter and more challenging. Also, directed by the guy who directed THE COBBLER.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Speaking of THE EXORCIST…

    “Your mother sucks cocks in hell.”

    His name…Space Cop. 2016.

  • Commander X

    I mean, really, David Spade as George Custer and Vanilla Ice as Mark Twain, what the fuuuuuck

  • tOmy`

    “In future of space, no one can hear you scream.”

    His name… Space Cop. 20maybe.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “One.Last.Ride.”

    His name…Space Cop.

  • bassbait

    I did some very very basic math to actually look into this –

    Krampus, just that one episode, got, according to a youtube ad revenue calculator, 350 dollars. If you consider the Patreon money and divide that number of money per month to their two main series, HITB and BOTW, and just assume automatically that HITB episodes are 2 per month, and BOTW episodes are 1 per month, then each HITB episode, through Patreon money, essentially makes 2500.

    So 2850 versus idk how much stream money, but I thought it was somewhere between 100 and 300 dollars per stream?

    Either way this sounds fake. But I mean it’s right there, 11,000 dollars per month on patreon.

    But what I’m saying is even if we just go off ad revenue alone, HITB still makes more than a single pre-rec stream I believe. But Pre-rec is twice a week rather than twice a month, so overall it’s more money, unless we count Patreon as going explicitly towards HITB and BOTW.

  • “Did you breast-feed him? Toughened your nipples, didn’t it?”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You can’t count Patreon as profit because they use it to fund their alcoholism and nothing else.

  • bassbait

    split between all of the members, they’re not actually making that much money. But they are able to live off of that amount without taking other jobs, which I think is exactly how things should be for them. Good work RLM!

  • bassbait

    “I did some very very basic meth” fixed.

  • I have no idea of whats going on but hey, it’s Tommy. The visionary of the thriller-drama, The Room.

    “How has your experience been writing episodes for a TV show versus your experience writing The Room?”

    “Well, we’re happy that we have support from Hulu, and now people can see it, but if you write for… Let’s say script in movies is slightly different because it’s all depend on vision. Have a certain vision. I started seeing parts of creating, how to make characters. I don’t know, it’s just the love, very naturally to me, be honest with you. I can brag that I have hundred different characters in I would say less that one hour. I don’t know, it’s just maybe that’s how I am. I didn’t realize that, because… That’s why I developed all these characters, because original The Neighbors, we only have approximately six to eight characters, and now we have close to ten, twelve but there’s more different characters coming too.”

    http://splitsider.com/2015/04/tommy-wiseau-discusses-americans-chickens-and-questions-he-hates/

  • tOmy`

    Observe the magnificent writing! Star Wars, the official Star Wars Facebook page of Star Wars, brought 10 best Star Wars quotes from Star Wars: Force Awakens:

    http://www.starwars.com/news/the-10-most-quotable-lines-from-star-wars-the-force-awakens?cmp=smc|326184967&linkId=20223617

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Oh, no. ( ._.)

  • Jason Ross

    “As far back as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a gangster.”

    His name…Space Cop. 2016.

  • Commander X

    PUAs and MRAs are often against each other.

  • Whooa! Alot of jokes weeere refered to. Is this a comedy or a comedy? comedy confirmed! Wooooh!

    JJ Aaaibramz has done it again! Whoah! *bleep* Successfully rebooted another comedy franchise after the last one, ‘Star Trek’ The Original *bleep*ing Laugh with Captain big*bleep*balls and Mr. D*bleep*ick. Hahahaa! Can’t wait for the sequel to The laugh awakens, Star Wars 8 Fun One!! Thanks JJ for *bleep*ing my adulthood! Right in my spacetaco senior *bleep*ist! Dios Burito!

    http://media.steampowered.com/steamcommunity/public/images/avatars/af/afe96760e5f23d935de1d9e03daeebcf4e9f450e_full.jpg

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up.”
    His name…Space Cop. 2016

  • Herbert West

    Haha, true enough. The talking heads of Hollywood are basically carnival barkers. Whatever it takes to get you in the tent! Still it is truly amazing the things some people can say with a straight face, and feel no shame. I am envious.

  • tOmy`

    “Say my name.”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    If Space Cop gets promoted to detective the next movie can be called Space Dick.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “That’s not how the Force works!” was the only line actually worth something and the “chewie we’re home” is ironically good because it’s hilarious fan pandering. all those other lines I coudn’t remember if you put a gun to my head.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “You can beat a man to death with a bag of cold hotdogs without leaving a mark.”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • Palpatine

    Luke had the best quote in the movie.

  • Commander X

    It’s a PUA site, not an MRA site, those two basic groups are often in opposition to each other, especially since MRAs tend to attract the Men Going Their Own Way types, i.e.the sour grapes criers who go “eh, I don’t even WANT to be involved with women anyways, those foul succubi only want to latch onto a man and leech him dry.”

    the PUAs are all about landing as many club skanks as they can, or selling the idea to guys that all they need to attract women is engage in some very superficial changes. Being a man means being involved in as many emotionless one-night stands as possible, according to guys like these.

    The guy who suggested the boycott idea is “economist” Aaron Clarey, a floppy-haired fortyish dude who posts videos to Youtube where he makes constant hand-gestures like a teenage girl.

    Seen here at the center of one of the “mansosphere” gatherings with fellow PUA and blogger types

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X2Lycy8aHfQ/U3jbytcCoSI/AAAAAAAAIIQ/Pe4X0HZNRDA/s1600/IMG_20140517_225703%5B1%5D.jpg

    The guy next to Clarey who looks like a thumb with a goatee is RoK contributor Matt Forney, who despite being a dumpy pudgester with a bald head that looks like, again a thumb with facial hair, is constantly full of advice on how to bang chicks and troll Fillipino dating sites for girls.

    The King of Return of Kings is Roosh V aka Daryush Valizadeh, some sort of Persian-heritaged guy, who is full of advice on scoring that POONANI, including tips on how to hit on married women. I’m sure he’s actually been with women – like some PUAs he looks like the evil, bitter troll that he is and 99% of women are smart enough to pick up on that. That he manages to have some success with the other 1% is not in his favor.

    Their Dear Leader wrote an article where he wrote off Poland as a destination for guys looking to score because he went on a trip there and there weren’t enough club skanks in the clubs for his tastes so he basically stayed in his hotel room and jacked off.

    http://www.rooshv.com/5-reasons-why-you-should-reconsider-going-to-poland

    1. Polish girls are getting uglier

    Says the spoonfaced goon who dresses like a time traveler from Brooklyn circa 2003

    3. Polish girls are not as beautiful as their neighborsI was the first to mention how Polish girls have a butterface problem, but now the extent of this issue is obvious to me. I can say with 100% certainty that Polish girls are less attractive than girls from the following European countries I’ve been to: Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Ukraine, Croatia, Romania, and Moldova. It’s not a matter of makeup or wearing high-heels but a structural deficiency in their face. They have long chins, turkey necks, big noses, sharp cheekbones, and wide faces. If you’re coming from a place like Sweden, Germany, or America, they are a definite upgrade, but if you’re coming from other Eastern European countries, you won’t want to stay long.

    Never mind that many of the world’s top models (fitness, fashion, runway, etc.) are currently from Poland; it doesn’t matter because this guy complaining about how ugly they are:

    https://daryushvalizadeh.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/daryush-valizadeh-roosh.jpg

    4. Polish girls place schooling and career above men The hottest girls are young and in college (Polish women age rather poorly), but they give their studies more importance than I think is reasonable. Scheduling a date with a Polish girl is similar to making an appointment with a doctor, and oftentimes she has to go home early to sleep, making sex with them a rapid in-and-out affair that lacks the nurturing component you can get from other women.

    It doesn’t occur to him that he expects nurturing from women he considers nothing more than notches on his belt.

    5. Weekend nightlife is horrendously bad The reason is that a gigantic percentage of college girls take the train back to their home village every weekend to spend time with the family. This leaves weekend clubs filled with more sausage and mediocre spinsters. It is extremely hard to pickup a cute Polish girl on the weekend, even in college cities. In Wroclaw, I often chose to stay home and masturbate than endure the weekend nightlife.

    Anyone who takes this buffoon seriously deserves whatever happens; leave it to a clown like this to stay at home jerking it to skin mags instead of exploring an interesting foreign city full of cultural attractions because he was too socially retarded to score with one of those UGH VAPID POLISH 3.0s.

    He doesn’t want to even put in the effort for one (one!) measly date but he expects feminine nurturing behavior.

    Then again, he’s selling an illusion, like a lot of these PUA con-artists.

    1) spending a fortune on travel, bottle service, gay peacocking clothes, and expensive rent in nightlife districts

    2) getting shot down/flaked on constantly by club chicks, and

    3) devoting your whole lifestyle to reading PUA blogs, studying PUA books, and practicing PUA routines, just to have a joyless, drunken roll in the hay with a 7 who turns out to be a 5 when you sober up, allows you to maintain the delusion that you’re a smooth mofo who inspires envy and lust.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “1 quarter portion. really?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “It’s the rock we all push… men. We call it our burden, but it’s really our privilege.”

    His name…Space Cop 1996

  • Palpatine

    “Friends come in and out of your life, like Space Cops at hotdog stands.”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Space war never changes.”

    His name… Space Cop

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “Charlie don’t surf!”

    His name…Space Cop 1976

  • “Back in the day I did important Jedi work, I got to fly around and cut things with my lightsaber. Here I get reprimanded for blowing up a few younglings It’s bull*bleep*shit, bull*bleep*shit!!”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Never get out of the Crown Vic. Absolutely god-damn right. Unless you were going all the way.”

    His name…Space Cop

  • bassbait

    “His name… AH FUCK IT”

  • “That hot dog really tied the room together”.

    His name… Space Cop

  • Frank Lovejoy

    See? We do agree sometimes. Fight Club is actually the last great movie from Hollywood, in my mind.

    But he hasn’t done much of anything worthwhile since.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Chewie, we’re hot dog.”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • tOmy`

    The Force one made me giggle, but it’s because it was perfectly set up by Finn, rather an actual good quote.

  • “The smell, you know that hot dog water smell, the whole car. Smelled like hot dogs. Someday this movie’s gonna come out…”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • tOmy`

    “The party’s over, kids. The clown has arrived.”

    His name… Donald Trump. 2016.

  • tOmy`

    “Am I the only one here who is from the future?”

    His name… Space Cop

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • tOmy`

    The issue with ADs for this page (if it works on a click-based thingie) is that despite being here 24/7, we all have one tab opened that Disgust refreshes itself, so we don’t “make” clicks.

  • bassbait

    yea but I was basing the ad revenue on youtube ads and partnership stuff, not based on the website ads. And I wasn’t accounting for people who watch their videos with adblock, and I was just using very average numbers, assuming that 250,000 views is an average HITB episode basically.

  • “Your fame is well deserved, Milwaukeean. I don’t think there’s ever been a police officer to match you. As for this young man, he insists you are Hector reborn. Or was it Hercules? Why doesn’t the hero reveal himself and tell us all your real name? You do have a name.”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    If I drive for you, you get your money. You tell me where we start, where we’re going, where we’re going afterwards. I give you five minutes when we get there. Anything happens in that five minutes and I’m yours. No matter what. Anything a minute on either side of that and you’re on your own. I don’t sit in while you’re running it down. I don’t carry a gun. I drive.

    His name…Space Cop 2006

  • tOmy`

    Before getting back to work, here is my final addition to obscure references (The Shield) that I think fits perfectly:

    “The good cop and the bad cop just left. I am a different kinda cop.”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • “Did somebody say [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker]?”

    His name…. Space Cop.

  • Jason Ross

    The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Space Cop, Of Space, And a Cop: Who lived Eight and Twenty Years, all alone in an
    un-inhabited Island on the Coast of America, near the Mouth of the Great
    River of Oroonoque; Having been cast on Shore by Shipwreck, wherein all
    the Men perished but himself. With An Account how he was at last as
    strangely deliver’d by Pyrates. 2016

  • Space-Cop; or, The Whale (2051) a novel by Human Melville

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “I am a member of a fragile species, still new to the earth, the youngest creatures of any scale, here only a few moments as evolutionary time is measured, a juvenile species, a child of a species. We are only tentatively set in place, error prone, at risk of fumbling, in real danger at the moment of leaving behind only a thin layer of of our fossils, radioactive at that.”

    My name…Space Cop.3006.

  • bassbait

    “MIKO!!!!”

    Space Coop.

  • Commander X

    As no doubt some of you have heard by now, the actor Angus Scrimm passed away recently at age 89. A good long run,
    He is most well-known for playing The Tall Man in the Phantasm films, a horror villain icon that never lost his potency for me because unlike Jason, Freddy, Pinhead, etc. the Tall Man never went camp.

    Phantasm itself was pretty campy from the get-go, but Scrimm never played The Tall Man as anything other than high-octane nightmare fuel. I myself encountered the man years ago at a horror convention where he gave off a good-humored and genial air, and he had had a long and varied career, which included at various times having written for TV Guide and writing album liner notes for Capitol Records.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2omi6Tcj6k

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GY_vkcpFBw

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2In46t4s4Hc

  • Domo

    In space, no one can hear you teach fire safety.

    Be cool. Be Spacecop.

  • Klingon Christopher Plummer: “We need more hot dogs!”
    Drunk Captain Kirk: “Earth, Space Cop, 2016.”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Holy carp – he had a Grammy. I suppose Joe Estevez has a Medal of Honor and Clint Howard three Michelin stars!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    ‘I whip my hot dog back and forth, my hot dog back and forth.”

    His name… Space Cop

  • Palpatine

    “What’s wrong with your face?”

    His name… Mr. Plinkett.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Vous demandez si l’amour rend heureuse ;
    Il le promet, croyez-le, fût-ce un jour.
    Ah ! pour un jour d’existence amoureuse,
    Qui ne mourrait ? la vie est dans l’amour.

    Quand je vivais tendre et craintive amante,
    Avec ses feux je peignais ses douleurs :
    Sur son portrait j’ai versé tant de pleurs,
    Que cette image en paraît moins charmante.

    Si le sourire, éclair inattendu,
    Brille parfois au milieu de mes larmes,
    C’était l’amour ; c’était lui, mais sans armes ;
    C’était le ciel… qu’avec lui j’ai perdu.

    Sans lui, le coeur est un foyer sans flamme ;
    Il brûle tout, ce doux empoisonneur.
    J’ai dit bien vrai comme il déchire une âme :
    Demandez-donc s’il donne le bonheur !

    Vous le saurez : oui, quoi qu’il en puisse être,
    De gré, de force, amour sera le maître ;
    Et, dans sa fièvre alors lente à guérir,
    vous souffrirez, ou vous ferez souffrir.

    Dès qu’on l’a vu, son absence est affreuse ;
    Dès qu’il revient, on tremble nuit et jour ;
    Souvent enfin la mort est dans l’amour ;
    Et cependant… oui, l’amour rend heureuse !

    Son nom est…Space Cop.1821.

  • Like Icare

    Now those are some fuckin one-liners no one will ever quote.

    And then you see the bio page of the article’s author… Oh… oh…
    http://a.dilcdn.com/bl/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2014/06/bryan_large.png

  • Like Icare

    What? People in your circles don’t quote that?

  • Like Icare

    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk.

    The Good, The Bad and the Space Cop

  • GodSentUs

    It wouldn’t be made if it wasn’t a Tarantino film. It’s shit. So lets nto forget.

    The flashback scene just bloats the running time and it has to be there. It would have been better without it because it doesn’t really inform us to things that we couldn’t figure out on our own.. or even if we couldn’t they aren’t important.

  • GodSentUs

    #yourreviewsucks

  • GodSentUs

    Gonna back away slowly now.

  • Palpatine

    I can’t want until the RLM Reddit gets wind of this comment sections Space Cop meme!

  • bassbait

    Let’s fuck. I’ll fuck anything that moves!

    His name… Space Cop

    cumming 1986.

  • bassbait

    we have to take all of the good ones before it officially becomes a RLM meme and becomes overdone… like poetry.

  • tOmy`

    “What we’re dealing with here is a total lack of respect for the law”
    His name… Space Cop (ft. The Prodigy)

  • tOmy`

    What they gonna do about it? We just fly baby.

  • Palpatine

    They’re going to keep doing it for about a year or so.

  • tOmy`

    “Looks like we brought two too many hotdogs.”
    “No. You didn’t bring enough.”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • tOmy`

    Just in the time for the premier, then.

  • Make a mashup! NOW! GAH!

  • Paulus Nuns

    We demand an upper-german reinassance version! Now!

  • Paulus Nuns

    ” Susan and me, we’re gonna fuck you up.”
    “Yeah, well, that’s just like, your opinion, man.”

    A cop. He came from the future, to the past…Space Cop.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Wir sind uns im klaren, daß dieser Krieg ja nur damit enden könnte, daß entweder die germanischen Völker ausgerottet werden, oder das Judentum aus Europa verschwindet. Ich habe am 1. September 1939 [sic] im Deutschen Reichstag es schon ausgesprochen. . . daß dieser Krieg nicht so ausgehen wird, wie die Juden sich es vorstellen, nämlich daß die europäischen arischen Völker ausgerottet werden, sondern daß das Ergebnis dieses Krieges die Vernichtung des Judentums ist. Zum erstenmal werden nicht andere allein verbluten, sondern zum erstenmal wird diesesmal das echt altjüdische Gesetz angewendet: Aug’ um Aug’, Zahn um Zahn!

    His name…Space Cop

  • tl;dr

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I hope you appreciate how I choosen a poem about love for French version of SC while German quote was…

  • Paulus Nuns

    A parliament, and jews…in nazi Germany…Space Cop.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy. That deputies name…… Space Cop.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “Thankless fucking job”

    His name… Space Cop. Coming soon to a Blockbuster Video near you.

  • dean ying

    I wish I had a pile of giant money. Imagine what you could buy with a pile of giant money!

    Also, Space Cop.

    “His name… Space Cop. His job… Space Cop. His favorite hat… Space Cap. His beverage container… Space Cup. His current illness: Space Cough. His most used computer keys… space… caps. His side job: spays cats. Hispanic… cop. “Ése pays cop.” – Space Cop.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “It’s like poetry….it rhymes”
    His name…Jorge

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Let’s pitch us a Space Cop 2. Give me a director, writer, and basic plot.

  • bassbait

    Hack Snyder, the Friedman Seltzer combo, and the basic plot is Space Cop lingers around while pop culture happens around him.

  • The Declaration of independence?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    His favorite place to hide…

    Crawl Space.

  • Palpatine

    We should keep our pitch of it in a secure place. Mainly because it won’t get made until around 2100.

  • Palpatine

    That’s John Wayne Gacy’s favorite place to hide stuff.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “The saddest thing in life is wasted talent,” he said while eating a hot dog.

    His name… Space Cop.

  • Jason Ross

    His favorite movie from the 1990s …

    Space

    .

    .
    .

    .
    .

    ..

    Jam

  • Wizard Phoenix

    From the director of Space Mutiny and David A. Prior.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-zgY0tahXA

  • Palpatine

    This is some prime BotW material right here:
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WI3ZEJs7Ugw

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Can’t be as bad as Dancin’ It’s On

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-zgY0tahXA

  • Jason Ross

    Children are starving and puppies are getting euthanized, but people spend money producing this shit.

  • bassbait

    IT’S TIME TO SLAM NOW.

  • RLMkeepitup

    that. looks. horraweful. horrible and aweful.

  • Palpatine

    “Dancing comes from the heart.”

    That says it all right there.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I laughed. Why are there ninjas

  • Palpatine

    Why not?

  • tOmy`

    *Redbox

  • tOmy`

    I want Justin Lin attached to the project. You know, to add a little “flava”.

  • tOmy`

    Glorious.

    1/10. Would murder.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the manhole!”

    He longs for his dead wife. In the future she is dead. In the past she is not born. His name… Space Cop.

  • bassbait

    uh, Jeffrey Dahmer was the “gay killer”. He never killed no women folkses! THIS MOVIE IS HISTORICALLY INACCURATE!!!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    But…They’re winning…With the rhythm of love.

    #DeadInside

  • Palpatine

    You think the nimrods who made it did their research?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    This is why it needs to be reviewed in BotW. Mike knows his serial killer lore.

  • Palpatine

    A serial killer movie themed BotW. That’s a pretty good idea.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Well, we have a returning cop from the past and a cop returning from the future. Of space. For the sequel, we add a cop from the present. Wait for it…A GIRL cop.

    BWAHM.

  • bassbait

    yes. I think they did thorough research.

  • bassbait

    name 3 serial killer movies that are BOTW material off the top of your head. No google!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    #Superman, Baby

  • Palpatine

    Ed Gein, Ted Bundy, and Jeffrey Dahmer.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    “Hello Wildcats.”

    His name…Space Cop (cooking a hot dog in the microwave, circa 20##)

  • bassbait

    It sounds like you just named three killers without looking into the actual movies about those killers. It wouldn’t be right for them to do biopics anyways. It’s gotta be fictional shit like Maniac, but Maniac isn’t shitty enough, or so I’ve heard. Nightmare was kinda shitty, maybe that would work. The decapitation scene is pretty fun. Idk, the “murderer” “genre” doesn’t seem like it’d make things that are a lot of fun to watch. You’d have to dig really deep for things that are *truly* worthy of being on BOTW.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Did Space Mutiny win Best of the Worst? Is that enough to make the director an “Award Winning Director”?

    A shitty Step Up. Who thought that was possible?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Crazy Fat Ethel, the original.

  • bassbait

    yea but that movie isn’t entertaining enough to work, afaik.

  • bassbait

    no they wanted to destroy it. High Voltage won because it was “best of the genre”.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    His name…Space Cop. 2016

  • Palpatine

    I don’t think the genre really matters, so long as the film is bad and cheaply made.

  • Paulus Nuns

    That lab looks eerily similar to the one used in Game Station…

  • bassbait

    so long as the film is *fun* bad though. My recommendation is Body Parts from 1991

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101492/

    I saw it. It was fun, and it was bad. This is a case where it’s not uncomfortable to watch because it’s not actually *about* a serial killer and his murders, it’s just that a serial killer is directly tied into the plot in a fun way.

  • Palpatine

    I thought it was entertaning.

  • bassbait

    I’ll throw in Violent Shit 1 or 2 as possibilities too, given that I only know it through Cinema Snob. I think that Criminally Insane would work good for another “sequel/prequel” night.

  • Palpatine

    Those are movies are perfect for BotW!

  • bassbait

    I imagine if they don’t hate the first one, the ending will make for a big laugh. It’s definitely an ending on par with Blood Debts for sudden shifts out of nowhere. But I don’t think any ending will top Blood Debts.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m shocked.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’s from Tales From Genesis Space, right?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Gein vs Bundy

  • bassbait

    SHAKMAAAAAAAAAA!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Also Dahmer is from Milwaukee.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Watching Golden Globes now and the host once more is better than the awards themselves. Seriously they didn’t nominated the Donkey from Ridiculous Six.

  • bleurgh

    This movie is fucking garbage. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAcimdt8Po0

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Yeah, I got your golden globes right here, pal.” – Adam Sandler via satellite from his mountain of blow.

  • Havok Solo

    I have never seen a Quentin Tarantino movie and must likely never will

  • ‘When I think about you, I touch myself.’

    His name…. Space Cop.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    So where’s RLM’s western? Like lightning in a bottle, guys! Just spittin’ here but how about 3:10 to Sheboygan, The Flatulant Five, For A Few Dick Moves More… come on, you’re leaving money on the table here!

  • bassbait
  • Wolvy

    Nail Gun Massacre (1985)

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Ask a silly question..,

  • Domo

    Ask a silly question, you get a Playing Dangerous 2 silly walk.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdGfGjusufo&feature=youtu.be&t=17m20s

  • RickMoranis
  • I’d watch that on my Oculus Rift.

  • Patrick Batman

    It’s important to get the order right: first electricity, then rocks, then water, then a cloud, and THEN the donkey’s asshole.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • RLMkeepitup

    i knew it.. he’s not a great actor after all.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction are must-see. Everything after those has annoyed me in one level or another to different degrees. I gave up after Inglorious Basterds; two great, great scenes (everyone know’s which two) and a whole lot of bullshit. I haven’t mustered the will to check Django Unchained and I guess I’ll be skipping H8ful Eight too.

  • fred

    OH MY FUCKING JESUS GOOOOOOOOOO–

  • RickMoranis

    Didn’t his eyebrows get nominated for something?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Cinematography by Emmanuel Lubezki

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That Lady Gaga. Is there anything she can’t do?

  • This is too highbrow a GIF for me.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Looks like Kid or Play in the background checking out the posterior.

  • bassbait

    I had a dream where I lived in a strange future where English and French are both about equal languages and I was stupid for only knowing one of the languages, and then my mom called me a fat disappointment.

    Also Emperor Palpatine was in the dream and I think he was doing jumping jacks? Also I took a shit in a bathtub???

  • bassbait

    Is anyone from Quebec able to determine how accurate this is to living in Quebec?

  • bleurgh

    You’re going to miss everything cool and die angry.

  • bassbait

    Tarantino is the only person who’s made anything cool? Shiiit, I must be missing out!

  • bleurgh

    I felt the same way about Inglorious Basterds, but fucking loved Django Unchained. It’s probably the best latter era Tarrintino movie.

    Inglorious Basterds felt like he took the best two scenes from three different movies he wrote and cobbled them together. As such a lot of the characters were underdeveloped and I found it hard to get involved in the plot.

  • bassbait

    David Bowie is dead. Sad news.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    RIP David.

  • bleurgh

    I’m devastated.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Holy shit, David Bowie, wow.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    tOmy is going to spaz a bit.

  • Like Icare

    First it’s Lemmy dying from cancer right after his birthday, then Bowie…

    That’s it kids. No more birthdays.

    #CancelBdayCancelCancer

  • Like Icare

    A friend of mine is a huge fan.
    Don’t know if I should give her my condolences or not.

  • Like Icare

    I find that the only movie of his that I actually want to watch repeatedly (as in “Haven’t seen that one in a while. Let’s play it again.”) is Jackie Brown.
    Incidentally… that’s the one movie he didn’t actually write himself, he adapted a book.

    The rest… While none of them angered or bored me… (Apart from Reservoir Dogs as I’ve seen it at 13, found it boring then, and now there’s nothing left to excite me in it…)
    I really get no urge to watch any of them again.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    David Bowie is dead?! I thought this was a joke but it’s real!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I know what’s showing up in the Warcraft credits now.

  • bassbait

    He didn’t write Jackie Brown? Shit, now I might actually be swayed to see it. His worst aspect is his writing, which still kind of baffles me why he’s seen as such a great writer.

  • Red Skeleton

    Breaking News: David Named-After-A-Pointed-Handheld-Tool has died.

    RIP David Spade.

  • Red Skeleton

    Not to disrespect the guy, but… come on, you can’t be surprised by this information.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I am actually, at the moment

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I think I can, since I am, so…

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Elmore Leonard is a great crime writer, try the stuff out.

  • bassbait

    My affection for David Bowie mostly starts and stops with his contribution to the Lost Highway soundtrack. His music was never a big part of my life, but it is a loss for the music world, especially given his ability to stay consistently good and fresh well into his 60’s. And being able to turn up with a great album even while battling cancer is admirable.

  • Red Skeleton

    Really? The guy was, like, 100 years old. And ill. And addicted to every drug known to man.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Let’s not forget about being a pretty good actor too. I love his music, some of his stuff I listen to almost daily. I was kind of saving Blackstar till I have time to properly dive in, now it’s gonna be way sadder.

  • Red Skeleton

    Are you sure you’re not confusing “surprised” with “saddened?”

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I am surprised, because I had no idea he had cancer and yeah, he was old, so what, it just didn’t seem like it was his time already. Iggy Pop is alive, Mick Jagger is, Paul Mccartney is, so, yes I am sad and surprised.

  • OMNI

    Bowie is awesome

  • bassbait

    I don’t think I’ve seen any of the movies he was in. He’s from the “classic rock” period that was never a big part of my life. My knowledge of music is really limited before the 80’s so all of the people who established themselves in the 60’s and 70’s were mostly off radar growing up, because I never listened to radio, my parents never played that kind of music, and none of my friends were into it, so there’s a big gap there where I probably should like a lot more of it than I do.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    You haven’t seen even Prestige?

  • Red Skeleton

    Bowie’s alright but let’s not forget the greatest acting role in all of Labyrinth: The socks stuffed down David’s trousers.

  • bassbait

    He was 69, which is not “dying of old age” age, though by rockstar standards that is unfortunately *very* old. And I don’t recall any publicity about him having cancer, so it makes sense that it’d be surprising. It surprised me too, and I’m not even a big fan.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Out of the respect, let’s say that was his actual crotch.

  • bassbait

    The Nolan movie? No.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    It’s good though.

  • Red Skeleton

    I cannot do that. I can only promise not to bring it up again.

  • OMNI

    Anyone here see Flight of the Navigator? It’s an interesting movie for several reasons.
    I enjoyed it for the early CGI as I’m a Computer animator. The 80’s soundtrack is excellent as well (I’m really into synthwave). The time travel story is good as well and it really gets to me as I was a kid in the 70’s. I think its one of the few movies like it to be able to have relevance after ET, which is a feat in itself. There’s a lot of subtle easter eggs for people who were kids in the 70’s and 80’s as well as a cultural time capsule for younger folks.

  • bassbait

    I haven’t seen anything of his outside of the Batman movies and Inception. I have Memento on VHS though, and since that’s the one *everyone* mentions, I’ll check that out.

    For the record – Batman Begins is boring as hell and I didn’t even finish the movie. The Dark Knight is overrated and while it has some good aspects it’s mostly a chore to sit through. Inception was a decent watch in some respects but I feel like I came out of it thinking “well that was a pile of crap”.

  • bassbait

    is Synthwave where Vaporwave originated from?

  • LukasWormTheThird

    If anything, Prestige has an interesting aesthetic and you seem to have seen the ones with less involvement of Jonathan Nolan, who is a good screenwriter.

  • Red Skeleton

    Ok, not joking now, my favorite pieces of David Bowie’s work are Space Oddity and that Christmas song he sang with Bill Cosby. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiXjbI3kRus

  • bassbait

    all I know is when I put on Batman Begins, I thought “this is no Batman and Robin!” and stormed out angrily.

    The more serious blockbuster movies take themselves, the more unwatchable it becomes for me. I’ve been told I should try Guardians of the Galaxy.

  • OMNI

    for kids!

  • Red Skeleton

    I admit I don’t know the musical lineage but somebody pointed out that without Bing Crosby there would be no ________, and without _______ there would be no Elvis, and without Elvis there would be no David Bowie, so it’s like he’s singing with his musical great-grandfather.

  • OMNI

    shut up! Just…shut..up…

  • LukasWormTheThird

    See, neither Memento nor Prestige are trying to be blockbustery, check em out.

  • OMNI

    I don’t know. I just discovered Synthwave very recently

  • OMNI

    Bowie life work is par excellance!

  • bassbait

    I’m not into retro genre stuff. I think I might have said it here, or elsewhere, that I think that retro pop is better than a lot of the pop it’s emulating, but I was referring to very specific songs that carry a soft retro vibe while mostly doing their own thing.

    But yea I’m not like an 80’s junkie or anything. All I know is I kind of hate Vaporwave. You might like it though.

  • Patrick Batman

    I know.

  • OMNI

    I might. I like synthwave mainly because I dabble in music and I really like the modern downtempo construction of synthwave with the retro sounds and beats

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I don’t see why synthwave specifically should be singled out, take ambient stuff and you can say the same, it’s just a matter of enjoying or not enjoying it.

  • bassbait

    Ok well I own Memento so I have to. I do occasional streams of my VHS tapes and I’ve recently organized my remaining 20+ tapes into categories, which are the following –

    Arny movies (I’m down to two left – Running Man and True Lies)
    Comedy movies
    Funny bad action movies
    Funny bad non-action movies
    Wheel of the Worst style movies
    Stanley Kubrick movies
    ET (this movie didn’t fit into any of the other categories for some reason)
    Movies I haven’t seen yet but which are supposedly really good.

    In that last category I have Taxi Driver, Fargo, Altered States, Memento, and Boogie Nights. I know I’ll like Fargo because Coen Bros have only disappointed me once so far (Big Lebowski… not gonna lie, it sucked), and I know I’ll probably like Taxi Driver because Goodfellas is REALLY fucking good and I trust Scorsese can strike gold more than once. Altered States I’m pretty sure I’ll like because I know what it’s about and it seems surreal enough to be right up my alley (same with Videodrome which I wish I owned). Boogie Nights I’m not certain about, because the only PT Anderson film I saw was Punch Drunk Love, and if you recall, that is also an Adam Sandler film. It was good though! I loved the cinematography especially in the early parts of the film.

  • OMNI

    I LOVE Ambient, Trance, House, Synthwave and a lot of other electronic music. I just brought Synthwave up because of Alan Silvestri’s excellent 1986 soundtrack for Flight of the navigator

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flight_of_the_Navigator

  • bassbait

    I have no idea what it actually takes to be considered Synthwave, but I think I may have written a Synthwave album already. I did it out of boredom. Electronic music isn’t that difficult to write if you ask me.

  • bassbait

    did I single it out? I didn’t feel like I was doing that. I honestly don’t understand the point you’re trying to make.

  • Red Skeleton

    Search your feelings, you know it be true…. (except for the 100 years old part…)

  • bassbait

    I’m collecting all of my controversial movie opinions in my brain. I’m gonna write some of these down, I forgot how many of them there were!

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Taxi Driver is way better than Goodfellas (which is great), Taxi Driver just puts you in Bickle’s head and really, never lets you out.

    Punch Drunk Love is freaking amazing.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I mean, when you say the word “originated”, it kinda puts a spotlight on a single genre, yeah. The point is is basically this:

    And that’s my every point.

  • bassbait

    someone who I had a crush on like 6 years ago told me to check out There Will Be Blood. So I feel obligated to see it even though we don’t speak anymore. I’ve been told it’s very good. I was also told that it should have won best picture over No Country For Old Men… which kind of scares me because NCFOM is one of the few times *ever* where I feel like the oscars made a really good decision. It’s honestly kind of a masterpiece and one of my favorite films of all time. I already said on my shitty wordpress that it may in fact be a 10/10 movie. So I’m worried that I’ve been set up for disappointment with that one, but idk, I trust that it’ll be good.

  • bassbait

    are you a fan of Vaporwave by chance?

  • LukasWormTheThird

    It’s somewhat jarring as a step in PTA’s career, but the movie itself is definitely great. I’m with you completely in NCFOM, that’s the best shot and most gripping thing in like decades.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    lol, not really. I just like to say thwords

  • bassbait

    I guess what really gets me about NCFOM is how much weight every single action seems to take. I feel as though my taste in movies is very different from most. NCFOM is exciting not because it’s fast paced or anything, but because every single piece counts towards building tension.

    Then again, it’s my opinion that the most intense scene in film history is the scene in 2001 where Dave has to re-enter the ship without a helmet. It’s such a small scene by today’s standards, but the weight that the film builds up to with that moment, when he actually gets thrust out I often will stop breathing for a bit because of how tense the scene is.

    2001 is my Star Trek. If I see an opportunity to mention it, I take it.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    She’s a movie witch, I tell ya!

  • bassbait

    I spent 5 months living on a friend’s couch in 2014. The entire time, almost *daily*, I was made to listen to Vaporwave from about 7 PM until about 6 AM or so. I already wasn’t into it before that happened. Now I’m put off from anything with “wave” in the title forever. You can imagine how horrible it was when coupled with my insomnia issues, and that time of my life was also where my depression was on a quick downward slope. It was a perfect storm of “seriously, fuck this”.

  • bassbait

    I have a slight suspicion that most of my controversial opinions are being positive towards films people hate, rather than the opposite.

  • Sex Cop

  • OMNI

    There will be Blood is a good movie

  • OMNI

    I’m not sure if Bowie was still using drugs

  • bassbait

    I disagree actually. But I think my question was vaguely worded, so let me make my original intention more clear –

    “Was Vaporwave started by Synthwave artists?”

    And in that sense, if it were the case, Vaporwave *would* have a single origin – Synthwave artists incorporating new elements from other genres in order to create a new genre.

  • bassbait

    Bowie’s death is making me think about how it’ll affect me when a musician who I care about much more deeply dies. All of my favorite musicians are either still alive or died before I was alive/old enough to even know who they were. I’ve never had a moment where someone who I idolized and really loved died, when it comes to famous artists.

  • bassbait

    OH NO!!! Catwoman is on Netflix. Now I *have* to watch it. Wish me luck.

  • bassbait

    http://puu.sh/mrAtp.jpg

    I can’t believe the kind of shit that Youtube keeps recommending me. It’s seriously almost completely the opposite thing of what I want to watch.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I’m not going to dare to predict xour reaction, but when it’ s not dumb, it’ just bland .

  • bassbait

    I’ve seen it before. But I was much younger.

    I keep feeling like I should get into comedy reviews at some point, but I haven’t found the right approach yet. I think my bizarre opinions on movies is enough to make for some interesting reviews though.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    People tend to laugh when I’m serious, so I should just pretend and do that to be funny.

  • Bubs

    I keep seeing comments about Tarantino being a shitty writer. I can’t underscore how incorrect this is. The only way I think a person can come to this conclusion is through bias.

    Being completely objective, one must come to the conclusion that he’s a good writer. Just because you don’t appreciate or like his writing, doesn’t mean he’s bad at it.

    What’s required to be a good screenwriter? Your characters need to say interesting things. Period. Bonus points if it impacts the plot in a meaningful way. In this exact order. You might be thinking “Plot is more important.” But it’s really not. How many bad movies have you seen where all the dialogue supports a ridiculous and (unnecessarily) convoluted plot?

    The plot is just a railway that our characters travel on as they complete their character arcs. From this objective standpoint, QT must be seen as a good writer. I don’t think he’s ever written a boring character. Even if you think they’re unrealistic (this is opinion-based), you have to agree that they’re not boring.

  • bassbait

    I learned the same of myself a long time ago. The key to comedy is to make yourself look bad so that way you are free to make others look bad. The people who I tend to mock the most are the people who demand that things be taken more seriously than is good for anybody. So when people say “YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO LIKE THAT MOVIE IT SUCKS”, that’s my target for derision. At least, it would be if I were making comedy reviews.

  • bassbait

    “good” is a subjective quality to begin with, so “good writer” is automatically subjective. There are no objective verifications of “good”.

  • Bubs

    This is semantics. Not a very good way to begin a discussion.

  • bassbait

    I’m completely right though in what I said.

    Also, I think that every single character in both Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill is boring, except possibly Bill himself, though that might be more the actor than the character. I haven’t seen any of Tarantino’s other movies though, and I don’t really care to any time soon.

  • Bubs

    “I’m completely right though in what I said.”

    That depends on what your definition of right is. See how stupid this quickly becomes? And this is the last I’ll say on that matter.

    Now, more importantly, Why did you think the characters in Pulp Fiction/Kill Bill were boring?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I can understand people hating him and even thinking he is overrated. but to say he is untalented is stupid.

  • Bubs

    “I can understand people hating him and even thinking he is overrated.”

    Me too. I agree that he comes off as an obnoxious douche in real life, but if I let that kind of thing impact my view of movies/actors, there would be just about nothing at all that I could watch. There’s maybe 4 actors/directors in all of Hollywood who don’t come off as pretentious cock-knockers when they get interviewed.

  • bassbait

    “Right” is just a word, I can take it or leave it, because the *definition* of “right” is subjective. What is objective is how it applies once it’s defined, and in this case, it actually applies because, by the definition I intended, I was correct. The intended definition of “good” can only ever be subjective unless you distort the meaning of “good” to the point where the word becomes completely useless. If by “good” you mean “critics praised it”, then you can just say “critics praised it” and your point will be made more clearly and effectively. If, by “good”, you mean “of a high standard and entertainment value”, then you would be appealing to a subjective standard, and people can freely disagree, making it subjective. If your point is that, objectively speaking, Tarantino’s films have received accolades quite frequently, then you would be correct, but your point was poorly worded and you could have just said that instead of appealing to objectivity in the first place. If your point is that Tarantino’s films are objectively “good”, which is what you said, then you’re just simply wrong because “good” is subjective to begin with. But since you don’t want to talk about it that’s the last *I* will say on the matter either. Back to the actual movies…

    I thought they were boring because none of them did anything interesting. I’m going to stick with just Pulp Fiction for now because I don’t even remember Kill Bill’s characters enough to care about that movie. The characters in Pulp Fiction often felt like vessels for Tarantino himself, with all of them having an exaggerated “cool” factor that was never earned by the characterization. One of the character’s “characterization” is that he knows burger trivia. I don’t care about burgers, the trivia wasn’t interesting to me, and it didn’t give any insight into the character besides “he knows a piece of burger trivia”. I can rinse and repeat for several Tarantino dialogue bits, but it goes further than that. It goes into the bullshit like the “say what again!” scene, which everyone points to as great dialogue but no, I thought it was boring. I thought “if you’re *supposed* to kill the guy, quit fucking around and just do it, don’t waste my time trying to show me your bad comedic routine”.

    I find the original Terminator to be a more compelling character than anything I’ve seen in Pulp Fiction or Kill Bill. Why? Because he is not of this world. He is a literal killing machine, ruthless in his approach and inhuman in his process. It creates tension for me because it creates a threat that I wouldn’t know how to deal with if I were in that situation, which makes Kyle Reese’s ability to fight the terminator more compelling as a result. If the Terminator was just some assassin, I’d camp out with the police forever and problem solved. But when the terminator can take bullets and doesn’t think in practical terms like a human would, the police wouldn’t be of a whole lot of help, especially when they wouldn’t even believe me, which is exactly what happened in the film. That is exciting, that’s compelling, that’s interesting. I just don’t know what about Pulp Fiction is supposed to make me care about what’s going on. I’m asking this honestly, but from a storytelling/character perspective, why am I supposed to care about any of the characters?

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I don’t even think he’s an unlikeable guy. Like he’s a douche, but when he talks about stuff I like to listen.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Hugh Jackman seems to nice i’m sure he kills puppies and drinks their blood off camera.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    sing?

  • bassbait

    I don’t think of “pretentious” as an insult necessarily, but when I use it in a negative way, I tend to save it for cases where it really counts. I don’t think, for example, that David Lynch is pretentious.

    But I do think Tarantino is pretentious in a negative way. I think his films are ruined by his inflated sense of self-importance, putting himself as the center to movies that are much grander than he is. Him and Kevin Smith have a *lot* in common to me, but I like Kevin Smith because his films are about loser schlubs, so when he inserts himself into all of his dialogue, it’s ok because he knows who he actually is. Tarantino, meanwhile, feels like he genuinely thinks he’s as awesome and badass as the characters he writes. Again, I don’t see a big difference between his “cool factor” and the “cool factor” in The Item. If Tarantino made a movie about guys working at a fast food place it might actually turn out semi-decent. I guess he’s a geek wish fulfillment fantasy though.

  • bassbait

    hey hey hey, let’s be fair, she’s actually a really talented singer. Even just on a technical level, she’s got chops.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Michael Bay is like super into animal charity, so….

  • Bubs

    I didn’t read the first paragraph, for the record.

    As for the “burger” trivia, I think you’re failing to look past the words themselves to see WHY he’s talking about cheeseburgers. It’s like one of those shitty small-talks you have with someone you don’t really know. Jules and Vincent aren’t really friends… they’re associates. They work together. This kind of shitty small-talk establishes that. For someone who likes Kubrik as much as you do, it surprises me to see that you fail to miss that there’s more going on in this scene than just the literal words themselves.

    I thought it was boring. I thought “if you’re *supposed* to kill the guy, quit fucking around and just do it, don’t waste my time trying to show me your bad comedic routine”.

    This sounds like an argument against ALL movies. There are countless films where the good/bad guy doesn’t shoot his victim. What fun would a movie be if they just walked in, murdered everyone, and walked out? The scene would’ve been over in 5 seconds and everyone would be saying, “What the fuck just happened?”

    As to this particular scene, however, it’s important to THAT character’s arc. It has a point. Jules is a cold-blooded killer. He’s like a cat toying with his prey before he kills it. He knows he’s going to the kill the guy. And the guy knows he’s probably got no way out of this situation, yet he’s still alive – he has hope. This creates “tension”.

    At the end of this scene, Jules has a near-death experience, which causes him to do a complete 180 on his current worldview. He questions everything about himself. This is his character arc.

    Even if you think the dialogue itself is stupid, or that even the character arc is stupid, you must objectively agree that this is good writing, as it establishes all of the things that need to be established in an interesting way.

  • Bubs

    Depends on the charity. PETA kills more pets every year than a slaughterhouse.

  • Bubs

    I would even say it’s a GREAT movie, what really kills it for me is the soundtrack.

    I.
    Fucking.
    Hate.
    That movie’s audio.

    It is just so shrill, and so irritating. Murder is all I can think about when those fucking violins are playing. One time I was watching it and it got so grating that I just turned it off.

  • tOmy`

    Well, we talked about it couple of times here, but Pratchett’s and Vonnegut’s deaths were massive gut-punches for me.

    It’s a shame Bowie had to go, but he left on a high note. As I said in obligatory FB post, every artist deserves exactly that.

  • bassbait

    I’ll format my post with numbers to make it easier for myself –

    1.I understand the point of the scene. I think it didn’t work. Just because it’s minor, indirect characterization does not mean it’s *good* characterization. It didn’t serve to make either character more likeable, it didn’t drive the plot forward in any way, and it wasn’t even interesting as self-contained piece of information. It served no purpose for me as a viewer, so it was a scene I could do without. I don’t feel like the small talk was necessary in the first place, but if it was, they could have gone with a better kind of small talk than that. I’m sure I could pull up examples from Ghostbusters if I had the time and my computer was functioning better.

    2.It is an argument against all movies with that kind of set up, yes. I tend to find scenes in movies where something is supposed to be done but they meander around spewing bullshit for 4 minutes to be really insufferable. Like when the villain has the good guy, and then decides to share their plan. Why? Why not just kill them and get it over with? That would be *much* more compelling to me. And to be honest? I would find that scene better if they *did* just walk in and shoot the guy. They were only after the one guy right? So it would be funnier because of the reactions of the other people in the room, it’d take up less unnecessary time, and I wouldn’t have to hear a big monologue that I don’t enjoy. For me, it would actually be *better* with that bullshit cut out.

    3.It does not create any tension for me, because it’s too comedic. If you want an example of something like this done better, I’ll point to Blue Velvet. Sure, there’s that kind of “I’m being a funny guy” attitude to Frank Booth’s character, but we already know, because the film has established, by the scene where he starts toying with the main character, that Frank is a ruthless asshole. He’s a rapist, he’s completely insane, and he’s liable to snap at any second. Because we know all of this information, it actually *is* tense when the scene finally happens. By contrast, Jules’ character is calm and collected before that scene, and is also, in my opinion, boring before that scene, and so when he shows up and does that, it doesn’t add to menace that hasn’t been established, and it doesn’t create any menace because it’s comedic (not funny to me, but the intention was at least partially comedic). It would actually add to the menace more if he just shot him straight away, *that* would immediately, without words, and in a quicker amount of time, establish Jules as cold blooded. He doesn’t even think he just shoots. Toying with someone isn’t menacing on its own without context, and Pulp Fiction supplies none besides small talk. Hopefully you can see where I’m coming from. Obviously you don’t have to agree but I think I do have a point in this regard.

    4.Yea, it was a lazy character arc if you asked me. Lazier than Darth Vader’s in Return of the Jedi. Oh I guess he’s just a good guy now. And since you brought up Kubrick, I’ll bring up a better character arc (imo of course) – Joker in Full Metal Jacket. We watch his character get built up in the first portion of the film, and by the end, his character does make a sort of 180 in that he goes from enthusiastic and carefree to broken by the horrors of war. He may have killed people before the final kill of the film, but Kubrick tries to make it clear that the people he kills are too distant, both physically and emotionally, for it to impact him. He sees the enemy as a faceless target, and he shoots. This was established early on by one of Hartman’s speeches, that a good soldier has to be a mindless killer. But Joker is not mindless, and the ending twists it on him as, on top of losing most of his friends to this supposed “evil” character, he realizes that the character is a woman, perhaps even a teenage girl. This alone isn’t what sparks his character development in the final moments, it’s the fact that, for the first time in the entire film, the enemy has a *face*. The enemy is a human being. Joker’s transformation into the cold blooded killer that he was always meant to be is complete by the end of the film. THAT is what I consider good characterization. The film all revolves around it, and it’s a huge punch to the gut when it happens. It leaves the audience feeling apathetic, which I think is definitely by intention. Joker is apathetic, he’s now emotionally distant from himself. And that’s a powerful idea.

    A redemption tale is fine. But Jules didn’t have a redemption tale because he didn’t have enough characterization to make the switch seem appropriate. Not to mention his switch is based partially on religious stuff, and “religious conversion” stories are *not* my thing.

    5.Again, objectively, I do not have to agree. Because I do not define “good writing” as “establishes things that need to be established”, and I also disagree with the idea that things “need” to be established. Some things need to be established on a personal level, for me to enjoy it subjectively, and Pulp Fiction failed at that. But if you disagree on what needs to be established that’s fine, that’s why there is no objective standard to hold to, because we hold different standards for what makes a film a worthwhile experience. For me, Pulp Fiction is not a worthwhile experience no matter how many things they establish. A Serbian Film probably establishes things ahead of time too, that doesn’t make it “objective good writing”, that just makes it a piece of shit that establishes things ahead of time. Pulp Fiction is a film that I don’t think was very god that just happens to establish some things, things that I don’t care about and that don’t make the film a better experience for me, and sometimes make the film a worse experience for me. How can I call something good writing if the things that are established are things I consider flaws?

  • bassbait

    yea, Blackstar is the first album of his I was actually interested in, so that alone says he was at least being interesting before he passed. And to me, that’s actually better than being “good”, because I think the goal of an artist should be to grow, and he was still growing. I admire that.

  • tOmy`

    Him talking is very similar to his movies. It’a obnoxious, self-masturbatory, but to the point and with a point, with a slight dash of “I don’t give a fuck what you think about it”.

    #HeJustFliesBaby

  • tOmy`

    I cannot agree with that. Sure, it’s just my point of view, but “every character in KB is boring”?

    For example, Bud’s character alone justifies the whole second volume.

  • bassbait

    like I said, “I think”, so I was making it clear that it is just my opinion. Was Bud the Michael Madsen character? Because I really couldn’t stand that character. Same with eye-patch lady. Those two were obnoxious and made the film pretty unwatchable for me.

  • Bubs

    I really enjoyed his “I’m shutting you down.” interview. I would’ve been much less polite about it. QT was spot-on in that interview, the interviewer was acting like QT owed him something. I would’ve told him to eat a donkey cock.

  • tOmy`

    While Blackstart might really turn out to be my favorite Bowie’s album, because it does exactly what I like to hear, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars is absolutely immortal record. Five Years, Starman, Suffragette City and Rock’n’Roll Suicide are timeless songs.

  • bassbait

    I know two of the songs off that record and they’re good. Not saying I wouldn’t enjoy the whole album but even though his death is tragic, his music is off radar for me right now. It’s an effect where I can only be into a certain type of music at a certain time, and now’s not the time where I would be able to sit through a whole album of that type of music.

  • tOmy`

    PETA

    “When we do it, it’s not technically a murder.”

    They stole this slogan from US Army.

  • tOmy`

    Let’s be honest here – if it wasn’t for his attitude, his movies wouldn’t be such masterpieces. For me, they ooze style that nobody else can capture. Maybe because he doesn’t have any self-censorship / self-restrictions… but unlike Bay, he isn’t a redneck idiot.

    He doesn’t sugercoat his interviews just as he doesn’t sugercoat his movies. And sure, both these things can be divisive – after all, sugercoating is politician’s way to not divide fanbase.

    But as I said many times and I have no problem with repeating it: He still didn’t prove to me he can do a bad movie, so maybe, just maybe when he talks, people should listen to him no matter what their opinion is. He apparently knows what’s he doing. And that is a rare attribute.

  • Bubs

    So, I just got through season 3 of The Wire, and I must say I’m quite sad. This show has completely ruined cop dramas for me. Its unflinchingly realistic portrayal of police behavior and political corruption will forever have me judging other police shows. It has set such a high bar for cop dramas, I’m certain it will never be matched.

  • tOmy`

    The-post-Wire world is indeed a scary place. The good way to go about it is to persuade yourself that it’s not a TV show, but novel on a screen. Then you can accept that the rest will never match it, because they are doing “just” a TV show.

    Also: Not to spoil anything, but from what I remember, it’s S4 that is the most praised one.

  • Bubs

    … Do… do you mean to tell me… it gets fucking better?!?!?!?
    Does. Not. Compute.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, according to many, it really is. Although for me it is on par with S3. Hamsterdam is just wonderful addition to the show, same for Carcetti – “I still wake up white in a city that ain’t.”

    But to be fair, S3 might have my favorite quote of the show, brutally encapsulating the reality of the police’s game:

    “I caught him, Bunk. On the wire. I caught him. He doesn’t f**kin’ know it.”

  • Red Skeleton

    Indeed he is very talented at being a massive asshole. (Oh, and he makes good movies too).

  • tOmy`

    He, it ain’t easy to be a massive asshole. Look at this webpage (and that means both RLM and this comment section).

  • bassbait

    yea. it takes quite a bit of time, and different sizes of butt plugs.

  • tOmy`

    I have a slight problem with your assessment:

    “I think his films are ruined by his inflated sense of self-importance”

    For one: “I haven’t seen any of Tarantino’s other movies though.” So… you see, you can’t exactly talk about his movies in general when you saw 3 of them (2 being separate parts of one movie).

    And: Taking his movies seriously is (at least for me) the obvious problem many QT’s critics have. It reminds me of Django’s case, when some people were trying to persuade me about its SJWing, you know, the black men fighting back. All I saw was a movie about a black guy killing awful white people. People tend to overthink his movies. I think there are only two exceptions to this rule:

    1) Inglorious Basterds is a seriously fucking awesome solid movie, that can be very much taken seriously (minus couple of things).
    2) Deathproof never transcendent “b-movie”, even though it was done in AAA way.

  • tOmy`

    Possibly.

  • tOmy`

    “Was Vaporwave started by Synthwave artists?”

    I don’t think so, no. But it’s somewhat of a “continuation” of that genre. Although the process is most likely different.

  • Bubs

    See here’s the problem, and a good reason we should discontinue this discussion. We’re discussing two different things. I’m saying, the writing is good AND I liked it. You’re saying the writing is bad BECAUSE you didn’t like it. It’s not about whether or not the scene worked FOR YOU.

    You have to acknowledge that it is good film structure and character development to do the things he does. To use another Kubrik example, I have never sat through all of 2001: A Space Odyssey. For me, the first 20 minutes of that film is the most mind-fuck boring 20 minutes of cinema ever captured on film. But I still acknowledge that he did a good job here. Kubrik’s goal was to tell his story using visuals instead of dialogue, to try and engage the viewer on a different level. It’s high quality AND I fucking hated it.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    No. Just no.

    David Bowie
    ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

  • Red Skeleton

    ATTN: Netflix –

    I have been using your newly-implemented “search by specific genre” system. Your dedication to user-friendliness is admirable however I’m already starting to spot cracks in the system. For example, the category “Movies based on Children’s Books” yields “Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” That is not based on a Children’s Book. It also yields “Joseph King of Dreams”.

    The Bible is DEFINITELY not a kid’s book.

  • bassbait

    1.I said “his films”. I didn’t say “all of his films”. So I never specified that I was referring to every film of his. I’m talking about the three specifically. Considering Pulp Fiction is seemingly unanimously his best, and yet I didn’t like it, gives me an assumption that it’s only downhill from there.

    2.Your second point is a poor defense I think. I just got done watching YMS’s video on “Frozen” and he points to the fact that, if he charges the film with any criticism, people will react saying “it’s just a kid’s movie!” And that’s the problem I’m seeing with your defense – oh, it’s just a Tarantino movie, right? So it’s immune from *any* criticism? I don’t take his movies seriously as works of art. But I do take them seriously *enough* as entertainment, to expect it to engage me. And the ones I’ve seen didn’t. They were poorly made movies even if I don’t take them seriously. They just aren’t enjoyable. Just because he isn’t trying for high art doesn’t mean that what he is trying to do is any good. I feel like if I defended Tarantino’s movies by those standards, I’d have to defend Michael Bay as well.

    3.Kill Bill is two movies. I refuse to say it’s one movie because it requires two movie tickets, and two DVD sales. Two movies. Otherwise, I’d have to claim The Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions are also one movie. After all, if I accept Kill Bill as 1 movie, that would mean I take Tarantino’s films seriously as art, and like I said, I don’t.

  • tOmy`

    I don’t want to get too much into that, but:

    ” What fun would a movie be if they just walked in, murdered everyone, and walked out? The scene would’ve been over in 5 seconds and everyone would be saying, “What the fuck just happened?”

    That is why I love ending of Kill Bill 2 so much. Because it’s a combination of both. While the murder should have been simple, it quickly turns into family drama and one of the best dialogues of QT’s movies. On the other hand, we never get to see the “samurai swords during the sunrise beach duel”, because it is over within 5 seconds.

    Speaking of: Now THAT is female emancipation. The student finally becomes better than the teacher.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Bullshit.

    Dialogue is only one thing that makes a writer a great screenwriter. Originality and story-telling . Vocabulary. Empathy. etcetera

    Quentin Tarantino is a great writer. He, however, slacked when he wrote THE HATEFUL EIGHT.

  • Michael Collins

    I love The Wire, I hope to fuck bassbait never watches it.

  • tOmy`

    1. Not downhill. Different. While I love PF so much I fuck it right in its burger, I sometimes do believe that Inglorious Basterds are simply better.

    2. It is not immune to criticism; I might be a fanboy, but I never said I don’t get while people dislike his movies. I am simply saying that one of the biggest issue people have with his movies is constantly trying to take them seriously, because he is an established director. These movies are (most of the time) just masterpiece of schlock, done with a style.

    3. Yes, it is two movies, but they are part of one vision – QT’s take on Japanese revenge movies. So you seen him putting his own twist on one specific genre in this case. But that’s something that needs to be pointed out – post PF (or, maybe, including PF), QT’s movies are his own takes / twists on established genres:

    Kill Bill – Japanese revenge movie
    Inglorious Basterds – War drama
    Deathproof – 80s grindhouse schlock with cars
    Django – Western

    So yea, even though they are two movies, they are really only one vision.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I had no idea he was ill. Also, I think he’s been clean for, like, 4 decades at least.

  • tOmy`
  • Bubs

    So I’m going to assume that you only watched The Matrix: Revolutions (since it’s a standalone movie by your definition and definitely NOT a continuation of a single storyline) and totally understood everything that was going on? Right?

    I’ll be right back, I have to go open the window so I can throw all my logic out.

  • tOmy`

    There is also one thing that needs to be said about The Wire:

    While re-watching some shows is almost as important as seeing them, re-watching The Wire just keeps rewarding you. I’ve seen it four times by now and I still find new things I love, situations I forget, connections I missed, trivia I didn’t know.

    And, obviously, it is unfortunately still very relevant piece of television. After all, it might be 8 year since it’s ended, but it’s about one year since Baltimore was on fire again.

  • Bubs

    Sure it is. It’s fantasy on par with the Lord of the Rings. It even has wizards and magic. Which is why I loved Russell Crowe’s Noah so much. Never before has the Old Testament been more accurately portrayed.

  • bassbait

    Yea but that’s the problem is that you are defining “good” in a way that makes no sense to me. How would it be “good” to me, if I define “good” as something I enjoy? My standard for “good” *is* an ability to enjoy or at least admire a film. If your standard is different, that’s fine. But I don’t agree to your standard which is why the term is *subjective* in the first place. Your standard can be reversed to make films that you would never accept as good seem “good”. If “good writing” means that things are set up and paid off, then you could make the case that the prequels are good because it’s set up that Darth Vader will turn to the dark side and then he does, therefore having a pay off. I don’t agree to that standard because I think that it applies to too many things that are not “good”. My standard is that I’ll find a movie good if I enjoy or admire it, and Tarantino has not met that standard yet so I have not found Tarantino’s writing to be “good”.

    If you were to tell me that 2001 is a shitty movie, I wouldn’t say “you’re objectively wrong because my standard for ‘good’ is objective and yours isn’t”. Instead I would say “why did you think it was shitty?” and if I felt like the points being made weren’t sensible then I’d probably argue it. The argument itself would prove that it was subjective. “Objectivity” is one of the most useless ideas I’ve ever known, and when people apply it to *art* which is all about expression of the *subjective*, it becomes absurd. I didn’t like Pulp Fiction’s writing because I thought it was bad. How is that in any way a bad thing? My life isn’t ruined by thinking that way, in fact it’s made much better, I was miserable when I kept trying to find “objective reasons” to like or dislike something. I just don’t see why you’re at all affected by me having the standard for “good” and “bad” that I do. You’re not Tarantino, it’s not like I’m personally after you for Tarantino having made 3 bad movies.

    If “good” and “bad” were factually as I defined it (which I’m not saying is the case), then it would be a fact that Tarantino’s 3 movies I saw were bad, and anyone who says otherwise would be factually wrong. But that would be meaningless, because my standard only matters to myself. Your standard is meaningless to me because it is not my standard, and “good” does not objectively mean anything but “of high value”, and we can debate whether or not *anything* is of high value because that’s still a subjective standard. To you, high value does not require you to enjoy it. To me, high value does require that I like it or at least respect it. There is no objective high value because everyone has their own idea of what is important. Again, the term “objective” is useless as it applies to art, so it’s best to just drop that term altogether and talk about your perspective. Your perspective can be that it was good even though you didn’t enjoy it, but that doesn’t make it factually good, it just means you think it was good despite not enjoying it.

    TL;DR – when you say “objectively good”, what you’re describing is that you objectively perceive it to be of high value regardless of whether you perceive it to be entertaining. But that doesn’t mean anything to me, as I perceive it to be *not* of high value and ALSO perceive it to be *not* entertaining. Which makes “objective” an entirely useless term in this conversation. And no, I do not have to acknowledge that it is good film structure or character development, because I do not believe this to be the case.

  • bassbait

    Thanks, that helps kinda. I’m wondering where Vaporwave started to be a distinct entity from a previous genre, like how Rock eventually became Metal and the two are different things, what did Vaporwave start as that eventually became Vaporwave?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things
  • bassbait

    I never said anything about whether or not Revolutions made sense or was good. I just said it’s a separate movie from The Matrix Reloaded. I mean if we wanna follow your logic, I can just say that A New Hope, Empire, and ROTJ are one movie, when they are not. Three ticket prices, three DVDs, three movies. They are divided into 3 so they are three. The Matrix is divided into 3 so it is 3 films. Kill Bill is divided into 2 so it’s 2.

  • tOmy`

    Well, synthwave is basically an original genre – it required use of an actual instruments like synthesizers and drummachines.

    Vaporwave is done strictly within software world. According to couple of articles I read, it’s just a nostalgic throwback to retro sound, that is based on sampling and slowing down said retro music.

    Now that is my own personal take on it. DSCW could possibly tell you more (and possibly correct me).

  • tOmy`

    Growing on you?

    ‘Tis a Pity She Was a Whore’s saxes are becoming one of my favorite musical moments of 00s.

  • bassbait

    your point on Kill Bill is fair. But answer me this – based on what I don’t like about the films I have seen (the dialogue, characters, plot/pacing, and soundtrack), which of his films are distant enough in these areas from Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction as to be incomparable stylistically? As in, when people talk about Tarantino’s trademark dialogue, which films of his *don’t* have that trademark dialogue? As just one example.

  • Bubs

    You’re arguing semantics again. Do you really not understand that you’re doing this or do you not care? “Good” is a point of view, Anakin. In other words it doesn’t fucking matter what “good” means.

    Let’s use a chair as an example. A chair can be finely crafted, or it can be poorly crafted. What does “finely” and “poorly” mean here? Who fucking cares? The point is that it can be one or the other. Therefore, a craftsman can create a finely crafted chair that I don’t want to sit in. This does not make the chair poorly crafted. You’re saying it does. This is a logical fallacy. English does not provide me with words that can make this more clear.

  • bassbait

    A friend of mine has a synth. Two friends of mine, actually. I’ve been interested in making an ambitious, almost epic synth album for a while now, but I’m dying to get real synthesizers, because I’ve tried software and it just sounds thin to me. I’m not going for retro/throwback/dance music though. I’m thinking more along the lines of I guess Igorrr? Or a better example would be Genghis Tron.

  • Bubs

    It’s like you just ignore facts that don’t align with your world view. Wait a second… are you Donald Trump?

  • tOmy`

    That is a hard one. This might be divisive within QT’s fans, but I think Django is the furthest from his usual dialogues; but it is still very much present throughout the whole movie.

    Deathproof has a glorious car-chase sequence in the second part, but then again, it all starts with A LOT of talking.

    So not sure. If you don’t like his dialogues… for whatever reason… you will have hard time with any of his movies. Maybe give a go to Inglorious Basterds – there are two abnormal cases of his masturbatory dialogue, but both of these cases are possibly the finest.

  • Marvin

    Except for nearly every other bible movie.

  • tOmy`

    Well, buying (or stealing) some synth plugins for FL Studio / Ableton might be the way to go, as I am sure there will be some effin solid ones.

    Unfortunately, as many professional producers would tell you, nothing beats a proper, incredibly expensive and awfully hard to get set of oldschool synths. And that also comes with a LOT of geekery, space-requirement and electronic knowledge.

  • Bubs

    Please name another Bible movie with giant, talking, rock monsters and a flaming sword which smites an entire army in a single blow. Because I want to see it.

  • Red Skeleton

    Noah was just a half-hearted ripoff of Evan Almighty. And Waterworld.

  • bassbait

    You just said the point I’ve been trying to make – who cares what “good” or “bad” means when there is no objective standard? We have different standards for what makes a chair that someone wants to sit in. We also have different standards for what makes a chair “finely crafted” since that term means precisely *nothing* objectively speaking. “finely” is up to the individual to determine.

    I would say that a chair is poorly crafted if I do not enjoy sitting in it, or if I do not respect the chair as a creation. This is not a logical fallacy in any way and the fact that you think it is makes no sense to me. Why do you care what I evaluate as “poor” or “fine”? You admitted you don’t, so why are you stuck on it? I have my own standard and you have a different one, and I don’t have to change my standard just because you don’t like it. You seem to think that I *must* change my standard because it’s not yours. That’s elitism. I’m not asking you to adopt my view or admit I’m right, I’m asking you to respect that I disagree with your view, which you seem to not want to do, even though you admitted that it doesn’t matter. If it doesn’t matter, why do you care if I think that Tarantino’s films are bad?

  • bassbait

    my comp is filled to the brim, I can’t fit a big program like that anymore. I could always just borrow equipment from friends when needed. But playing synths is still kinda hard, I’m more of a guitar person. Maybe a guitar synth?

  • Bubs

    Uh… what? You’re kidding, right? We’re talking about the same moopie?

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1959490/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_5

  • bassbait

    Ingolorious was probably next on my list if any of them because it’s the most compelling genre. I happen to think Brad Pitt drags most movies down (except 12 Monkeys which he was great in), but WWII is a favorite setting of mine, though I’m much more interested in the real history than movie re-tellings.

  • bassbait

    Ok so where’s the facts? Is the “fact” that The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions are one movie? When they’re separate movies and the Wachowskis intended it to be that way? Thus why it’s named “The Matrix *trilogy*” by everyone? What facts am I ignoring? And feel free to cite sources other than your point of view as evidence that I’m somehow “factually wrong” about my previous comment.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I’m not going to be able to listen to it again for a few weeks or so.
    I’ve been on pins and needles sine Joni Mitchell was in a coma, preparing every morning for that one. I never even expected I’d outlive David Bowie. (Of course, I won’t actually. One of the celebrities has said, “They’ll name planets after him.”)

  • Red Skeleton

    Uh, yeah, I was kidding. It’s kinda what I do.

  • Bubs

    So I watched Swordfish last night for the first time in like 10 years. What a great bad movie. There are so many “what?” moments in that film. In particular, I love that the movie opens with a monologue about how “unrealistic” certain things are portrayed in modern cinema. Then it just goes batshit insane from there on out. I think it’ll be played in the Manhole’s of the far flung future, and looked back on in Episode 432 of Best of the Worst as a great bad movie of the 00’s.

  • bassbait

    Deal, I’m watching it right now!

  • Marvin

    You said “Never before has the Old Testament been more accurately portrayed”, so I can give you every example I like based on the Old Testament. For example The Ten Commandments. Besides Russel Crowe takes a lot of artistic liberty, since he tells his version of story loosely based on the few paragraphs written in the OT. I know, this is good old Jewish tradition, so whatever.

  • tOmy`

    Well, let’s put it simply: With modern software, you can achieve almost any sound possible with almost any instrument. Dubstep’s wobbly bass on an actual bass? With right setting, absolutely possible. Piano solos on 9 buttons? Absolutely possible.

    All it requires is skill and knowledge (and lot of experimenting).

    So yes, basically everything is possible – but some of it is abnormally time-consuming. There is a reason a lot of electronic producers are either classically trained piano players, or pick up piano on the way – I’ve seen producers compiling incredibly complex electronic tracks just by using a keyboard plugged into a software.

  • Red Skeleton

    Were YOU kidding about Noah being an accurate portrayal?

  • bassbait

    I prefer to use instruments that are self-contained rather than software or midi plug in instruments, because I like finding a tone with what I have rather than searching an endless database to find something perfect. I kind of reverse engineer music around the tone though. I’ll play something on a synth, like the sound, and write something based on creating something cool with that sound. Too many options and I suffer from option paralysis. Keep it a little narrow for me and I can make a lot of music with a little amount of things.

  • Jason Ross

    Prog Rock lives!!!!

    oh wait, maybe dead.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    But there are objective standards of some kind. That’s why film school exists. It’s so weird how this concept is so alienating to you because we’re on RLM. Mike tears down the prequels by breaking down the plot,characterization,direction,cinematography,editing,etc. He doesn’t go-“this is boring to me therefore the movie sucks. End of review”. Every simpleton can make that genius deduction on every movie ever made. Take the american ultra review-after 20 minutes of non stop shitting on the movie Jay admits the movie isn’t as bad as he’s making it out to be. Because he watches truly bad movies ever week of his life and he knows there are basic technical merits required for a movie to work.

  • Bubs

    Yes and no. There are clearly artistic liberties taken such as the designs of the Nephalim, but the film unflinchingly says, “Yeah… all this shit was in there too. Yep, Methusalah lived to be like 900 years old… Yeah… God made all the birds fly to the ship…”

    Sort of like saying, “Well, if you accept the Old Testament as fact… you gotta accept all this other weird shit too.” I doubt that was the intent, but that’s how it looked to me.

  • Jason Ross

    sounds like my bachelor party

  • tOmy`

    Real instrument is still a real instrument – and real synth is still a real synth.

    There is a reason why Daft Punk’s latest album sounds so fucking good. Not only are the robots excessive perfectionists, but their studio setup is just awe-inducing. (Case in point: Thomas used 3 different microphones from 3 different eras for recording, to see which one of them sounds the best. As one of the producers pointed out: “I don’t hear the difference. But he does.”)

    But to circle back to real synths… well: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/82/d0/5d/82d05d7890f073aa77c7a319d26e8dde.jpg

    To achieve perfection, one has to have a SHITLOAD of money, space and connections. You can’t even buy half of this stuff anymore.

  • Bubs

    THERE AIN’T NO WIZARDS IN THAT MOVIE!

    Also, there were 613 commandments. I’ve never seen the film, so I can’t comment on its ability to capture the Old Testament accurately.

    I just feel like Noah captures the (ridiculous) spirit of the Old Testament, even if it’s not a literal translation of the events. There’s so much magic and crazy shit, to me it’s like “Yeah… this feels like the Bible.”

  • tOmy`

    *holds pitchfork while screaming something about art-rock / experimental jazz*

  • Red Skeleton

    Do Angels appear in Noah? Are they depicted like Eldritch Abominations like they’re described in the Bible?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    All of the blades of grass I see,
    These are the blades that belong to me.
    Though by now, you twits may yawn,
    Again I say…

    #JustFly,Baby

  • Bubs

    Hell yes! OMG, have you never seen them? They’re fucking awesome!

    https://rightorron.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/noah-watcher-v2-luca-nemolato.jpg

  • Red Skeleton

    I like how the movies handles female-on-male sexual assault: As weird comedy.

  • bassbait

    See, those aren’t “objective” standards, because they’re still predicated upon someone’s perception of what marks quality.

    After all, why is it “good” that a film sets everything up and pays everything off? And if that is “good”, does that make *every* film that doesn’t do so “bad” by default? Are experimental films not “good” because they don’t reach or even attempt the same standards as mainstream blockbusters? Is Andy Warhol’s “Sleep” bad because it doesn’t set up or pay off? Lost Highway has things that aren’t set up, are those automatically “flaws”? Is David Lynch a bad film-maker?

    We’re on RLM, a group that have made it clear over time that they understand the worth of an opinion, but the prequel reviews are *all* opinion. All of their reviews are opinions, and they’ve made it clear that that’s all it really is, when they mocked people by having Palpy say “your opinion is wrong and mine is RIGHT” – a flat admission through humor that Mike’s Phantom Menace review was all opinion, and hinting that people make too big of a deal about who’s “right” or “wrong” when it’s, as admitted, opinions.

    Again, how does me having the standard that something is “good” if I enjoy or respect it… in any way affect you or everyone else? If it were objective, it would affect everyone regardless of our opinions, but it’s subjective, it affects me as an individual and me alone. Mike’s opinions on the prequels are just his opinions and he knows it. I don’t watch his reviews because he relays facts. I watch his reviews because he shares his opinion and I enjoy his opinion and I enjoy his sense of humor, and I enjoy his skills as an editor and film-maker. Not because what he says is “fact”, which it for the most part is not.

  • Marvin

    Besides staffs turning into snakes, hands becoming leprous (or whatever illness) and the 7 plagues, there’s not much going on in the movie magic wise.

    I wouldn’t call the spirit of the Old Testament ridiculous though, well, not the whole OT. I don’t know, I am actually not in the mood for any religious discussion. So I won’t defend, neither ridicule the OT.

    I’ve seen the CinemaSins review of Noah. I don’t
    think that Russel Crowe gets the spirit of the Noah story right. Those scenes of the movie included in the review remind me a lot of the scenes included in the HitB of Hansel and Gretel.

  • bassbait

    yea that’s the absurd high end shit. I want something higher than my Casio grandma keyboard (literally, my grandma gave it to me because she wasn’t using it), but I don’t want to go to that absurd lengths. I prefer like, one of those little keyboard synths with a bunch of different settings, possibly a vocoder, so that way I can find some sounds I like out of it and implement those sounds in as many ways as I can. I feel like the creativity is fueled by the options being a bit limited, but not as limited as where I am now.

  • Bubs

    All I could think in that scene was, “Is this that girl’s job? Like… she just stands around all day until the Boss says to blow a guy and she just does it? How much is her salary for that? Do all the other people that work there know this? Oh yeah, that’s Helga, she just blows people. Y’know… whenever we say to. No questions asked. She’s got a great 401k.

  • Red Skeleton

    That’s an angel in the movie? Hm, I see what you mean.

  • tOmy`

    Yea. That’s the hard truth: While you can say that electronic music is button pushing, them buttons are pretty fucking expensive.

    I once looked into a proper, but not exactly state of the art turntable set with MPC and a sampler. You can buy around 50 acoustic guitars for the same price. Or used, but solid car.

  • Red Skeleton

    Presumably she got the job when Halle Berry’s character was promoted out of it.

  • Bubs

    “Why do you care what I evaluate as “poor” or “fine”? You admitted you don’t, so why are you stuck on it?”

    This is a blatant misrepresentation of what I said. Also, you just made an argument against discussions of all kinds. Erego, I’m out. Good luck in your future discussions.

  • tOmy`

    I’d rather go for stars. After all, he wasn’t just a Planetaryman.

  • Red Skeleton

    For the record I did play Swordfish in the manhole a while back.

  • bassbait

    that’s what guitar is for. I think that guitar is the best instrument in a lot of ways, though lately I’m leaning towards the voice as an instrument (which I think counts as one). They’re just easy to get a hold of and to learn how to play. Punk musicians are all about starting bands despite insufficient “talent” for other styles of music, and I support that idea whole-heartedly. I’m a fan with people working with what they got to create something impressive. I guess you could say a dumpy synth is like a bad puppet, and Ableton/FL Studio is like a CGI program – neither is bad inherently, but I’m more impressed by someone working with limited resources and shaping what they make around those resources, rather than having all the freedom in the world and losing creativity in the process.

  • bassbait

    No, I didn’t. I just made an argument against appealing to objective standards of “quality” when it comes to discussing a medium of subjective expression. Speaking of fallacies, you just made a straw man.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Well, those too, but we needn’t be so literal. After all, there are no missions named after Annie Lennox.

  • Bubs

    “Bullshit, I totally agree with you.”

    Huh? Dialogue is just an extension of “saying interesting things”. It’s just “saying interesting things” to another person. How can what I said be bullshit?

  • tOmy`

    You know what’s fucking sad about this (except… everything)?

    As of now, it’s Iggy as the last man standing, before the torch will be officially passed onto Yorke, Patton, Albarn and the “almost get off my lawn generation”. The frustrating thing is that I will most likely see the day when these people will have to pass the torch… and I am fucking scared who will be people receiving it.

  • bassbait

    Roger Daltrey and Robert Plant, and arguably Ozzy and Rob Halford. We have some older legends in the ranks.

  • tOmy`

    While I can’t personally speak for Roger and Rob, Plant and Ozzy ain’t THAT respectable people. I am not bashing them or anything, but for me, personally, it was Lou, David and Iggy as some sort of a holy-trio of superstars.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Sigh okay here’s the best example I got-during a halloween BOTW when the RLM gang watches a Len Kabasinski movie Jack Packard makes a brilliant comment during a scene which goes something like:

    “The bare minimum I ask of a person holding a camera is that the thing you want the audience to pay attention to should be in focus”

    Now YOU may don’t mind it/think that scene is fine but you can write about semantics and subjectivity till the cows come home and you still woudn’t be able to make a case that should be considered good filmmaking to anyone who actually knows jack shit about this craft.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    “Your character needs to say interesting things. Period.”

    Perhaps I misread you, but I interpreted this to mean Dialogue is the one most important thing in great screenwriting.

    “‘Plot is more important,’ but it’s really not.” Bullshit. It really is. And, your next point says so: “How many bad movies have you seen where all the dialogue supports a ridiculous and (unnecessarily) convoluted plot?” In other words, even the dialogue can’t save it from being a bad movie. Therefore, it’s the plot that’s paramount.

    Great writing is a combination of all things. And, it is persuasive. If people appreciate a QT movie for its dialogue but nothing else, that isn’t a sufficient example of great writing.

  • tOmy`

    Sidenote: It took us around 2 years to finally find use for Jack.

    Congratulations, you won. You can go first…

  • bassbait

    I thought it was Freddy Mercury in that ranks. Roger is pretty well respected I assume, and Rob Halford definitely is. When I see people talk about Halford, it’s with a consistent “this man can do no wrong” attitude. He did have one of the most impressive vocal ranges of the 1970’s, he had a unique fashion sense for rock stars that resonated with a *lot* of people, and when he came out as gay, he was somewhat of a champion for LGBT people in the Metal and overall Rock scene. He’ll always be remembered as that guy who permanently changed the face of hard rock and heavy metal, when it comes to fashion, music, live performance, and tolerance. The guy’s a legend. I’ll definitely be sad when he passes.

  • tOmy`

    I have to agree with Freddy, but it is a LONG time since he passed away. I was 2 back then, so I never had a chance to exactly grow up with him (although Queen records were and always will be blasting in our household.)

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Joni, Dylan, Neil Young, Roger Waters, Stevie Wonder, Pete Townshend, Paul Simon.

    Then, the torch passes to Peter Gabriel and Tom Petty and Prince.

    Then Yorke, Stipe, Jack White.

    All the rest get ashes.

    But I get your point. We’re very close, and it’s all gonna go very quickly, relatively speaking. Not like the blues or jazz that lasted forever.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yeah that’s probably my first and last time I’m gonna use him positively in a sentence.

    #mario

  • Bubs

    I think I misread your comment. I agree that great writing has many factors, but I maintain that the dialogue is far and away the most important one. The plot, as I said, is a railway. It doesn’t really matter where it goes.

    Let’s use Saving Private Ryan as an example. You could’ve set that movie in any fucking war in the history of the world, doesn’t really matter. Did you really care at the end that they defended that bridge in Cherbourg? Of course not. You cared about the characters.

    Who will live? Who will die? Why are they defending this bridge? Why is this important to one character and not another? There’s so many more questions, I could make this list a mile long. The point is, “Defend the bridge” is the plot. It’s just a convenient place to wrap up all the character’s story arcs. They could’ve been defending a mall, a park, or a giant dildo and our feelings towards the characters wouldn’t have changed much.

    There’s a little gray area here, as a character’s actions are part of the plot, but can be motivated and enhanced by dialogue. So I don’t want to distract too much from the point, but hopefully you get what I mean.

  • tOmy`

    I think that Albarn and Homme will “rank-up” as well. Sure, they might never hit the “class” required for this abstract category, but I can see Albarn becoming some sort of a demi-god of production and Homme “the grandfather of cool stoners rock”.

    Reznor and Patton will always have it a bit hard because they after all come from genres that will never be considered that classy, although they are definitely becoming gentlemen. Unlike Manson…

  • bassbait

    Ok. You’re right that I wouldn’t be able to make that case to someone like that. Nor would I want to. However, someone who *does* feel that way? Shouldn’t *have* to make that case to anyone, because art is about what you get out of it, both for creators and for audiences. If someone gets something out of what I see as a poorly focused shot, then who am I to tell them “sorry, you’re wrong?” That’s where I ask – why does it matter? That’s the point I’m trying to make, that if people enjoy or don’t enjoy something, and respect or don’t respect something, then they don’t need to justify it to anyone because it’s just how they feel. You just like something or you just don’t, and any reasons you have for it are just reasons. The point of conversations, for me, isn’t about proving myself right, because if I felt I was objectively right about things, I wouldn’t have to call it into question by presenting it to other people in the form of a discussion. The point of discussing things, for me, is to hear other people’s opinions, and to open myself up to other viewpoints and other people’s minds. That excites and fascinates me. Occasionally it frustrates me, albeit rarely. I don’t talk here because I want to share my *established facts of film-making qualities*. I talk here because I want to get to know people who care about the same topics as me and I want to see how they feel and present how I feel and develop an understanding. Sometimes understandings just don’t develop and that’s fine, I don’t expect every conversation to end with learning or changing minds.

    I’m just saying this because I want to make it clear that I don’t mean ill towards anyone, I’m just enthusiastic about this shit and I have an admittedly obnoxious amount to say about any topic. I don’t even *want* to dislike any movies, I want to like every movie I see, and I’ll take any reason I can to enjoy a movie because I’m not a fan of my own tendency towards cynicism. I enjoyed Nukie ffs. But some movies I just find a really really hard time enjoying. Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill are some examples. Tarantino, based on those films, is just not my thing, and I don’t want to be bullied into liking him just because most people I know don’t agree with me, or just because there are good qualities to some of his films. If I don’t like him, I just don’t. I can admit that there were some good qualities to Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill, but I wasn’t able to enjoy very much of the films beyond the most superficial level (some cinematography, for example, was good). I just think it’s silly that I’m somehow “factually wrong” if I think his dialogue is poorly written.

  • Like Icare

    He wrote the script based on Elmore Leonard’s (3:10 To Yuma and whole bunch of other stuff) book.

    AND… it’s his only film so far that takes place in real(istic) and “of the time” locations.
    It isn’t stylized for the sake of style, nor does it all take place in a single room, nor is it a stylized historical fantasy – so even when he can’t resist stylizing (like that long take intro or Jackie Brown’s home) it feels appropriate instead of “jarring but acceptable because of the style of the movie”.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Reznor has an Oscar, so there’s that.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Yep. I forgot a couple.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    We’re good.

    But, since I’m me, I gotta tell ya, you had to go and pick, as an example, one of the worst bits of lauded screenwriting I can think of.

    I don’t mean to diminish dialogue in screenwriting. It’s real tricky, though. There are times when superb movie dialogue sounds absolutely like nothing anyone would ever say in conversation. A strictly intellectual argument could be made against that type of writing, but I think that’s part of the point you’re making.

  • Like Icare

    Well… I don’t think that a fruitarian Noah, “Rambo knives” or boomsticks are an actual part of the Old Testament.

    Nor all the hints that while there may be magical forces around, Noah also may be batshit insane.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Just got to Brian Eno’s reaction. It sounds like Bowie was in complete and total control of how we was gonna go. Man, that messes me up.

  • RickMoranis

    I have a “Movies Featuring an Epic Nicolas Cage Meltdown” suggestion line. I don’t know how that got there.

  • RickMoranis

    Halle Berry seems to have trouble picking movies. I mean, Swordfish, Catwoman, and that stupid live-action Flintstones movie. I mean, what kind of retarded idiot would star in a live-action Flintstones movie?

    …..wait.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    “Where the fuck did Monday go?”

  • RickMoranis

    It just began, a-hole. Oh god, when does the hurting stop?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    That’s either the funniest, cruelest or most precognitive lyric, like, ever.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    “I’mma let you all be sad ’bout Bowie, but you awta ‘ppreciate the artistry that is Beyoncé.”

    His name…Space Cop. 2016.

  • bleurgh

    In case you were wondering, Bowies final album is a stone cold masterpeice, dark, harrowing, alienating and weird as fuck. Enjoy your journey through the cosmos you magnificent bastard.

  • Bubs

    I haven’t heard the album yet, but I’ve heard maybe 2 or 3 “stone cold masterpiece”s in my entire life… so I feel like this may be a bit of an over-exaggeration brought on by Bowie’s passing. But I guess I may end up eating my words…

    #DeadOrBestViralMarketingEver

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I think there are such things as standards, expectations and things one knows that work (technical quality, clarity of an idea, certain editing styles suited for certain types of films etc.) and that’s one half. The other half is your own expectations, predispositions and things you like and/or are willing to tolerate. Third half (Math is fun) is space for originality and innovation.

    Any of that can support a worthwhile opinion.

    In my opinion.

    Space Cop 2016

  • bleurgh

    He has at least 5 records that are flawless, on the level of let it bleed or highway 61 revisited or insert other here. Time will tell whether this is one of them, but it’s definitely in contention.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Unfortunately, I think his death is always going to weigh too heavily on the album and force a strict interpretation of it, which may not allow it to grow the way another similar masterpiece, like, say What’s Going On, has grown.

  • tOmy`

    As a Placebo fanboy, let’s not forget:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TOE3bRGaYI

    These voices were almost a match made in heaven.

  • bleurgh

    Have you heard There’s a Riot Going On by Sly and the Family Stone? Probably the only time in history a near perfect album has been written in response to another near perfect album.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Bowie.

    Fuck.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’m doubling the watch on Linda Ronstadt, stat.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Yeah. Like his voice combined with Freddie Mercury’s, or with Lennon, or Trent Reznor or even with Bing Crosby.

    Except for that thing he did with Jagger for Live Aid, Bowie elevated everybody.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    My exact thoughts in the morning.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Man, I’ve lived through Lennon’s murder and Gaye’s. This one’s up there with those as one that’s just got me a bit crippled.

    Quick! Somebody make fun of me or something to snap me out of it!

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Arcade Fire? Arcade Fire

  • LukasWormTheThird

    With you on Noah, loved that crazy shiz.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Which was way more biblical than any other movie I’ve seen, in a good way.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Oh, so when you see Season 4, you will just stop watching TV.

  • tOmy`

    I might be full of shit now, but I vaguely remember that one band hinted at a possible track featuring David Bowie on an upcoming album. It might very well be already recorded.

    Now if my memory serves me well, it could have been Gorillaz, possibly meaning that just like in Reed’s case, they will be the last one to feature these singers on their album.

    Which is kinda depressing.

  • cabbo

    Rawls, at the gay bar.

  • tOmy`

    Funny you should mention it, because that is one of the moments that always come to mind when talking about “small details” in The Wire.

  • tOmy`

    Electronic demi-gods will pass the torch to Skrillex.

    There, happy now?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Technically, it’s one thought, but for me it’s been like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Keith Richards has to have some secret to keep on living.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I think he has immortal blues guitatrists locked in a trunk, and he just continually takes hits of blood off a tube.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Every time a famous person dies Richards keeps getting another two years.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    That won’t be a torch. That’ll be a bulb at the end of an extension cord. And, it’ll be about 40 watts shy of sixty.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    He’s just waiting for Mick to go first, so he can have the last laugh.

  • Palpatine

    I’m just now hearing about it.

    R.I.P.

  • Palpatine

    He feeds off dead singer’s life force. Too soon?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What if when Ozzy Osborne dies does that mean Richards ends up living forever?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Ozzy Osborne died twelve years ago. Fumes of all the bat juices are keeping him going.

  • Palpatine

    Yes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s possible. How else do you explain him surviving all the drinking and drugs that would have killed anyone in like three years at most?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What happens when Paul McCartney, or he is the fake Paul, dies?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Walruses everywhere will Tweet their condolences.

    EDIT: That sounds cruel, when I was going for funny, but I’m too bummed to fix it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If he’s a fake Richards will probably die like Voldemort and turn into ashes.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    That’s a gimme. He’s three-quarters ash already.

  • Palpatine

    Don’t jinx it!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s why he’ll turn to ash.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Zombies would take a bite of Richards and say, “Yum. Pickles.”
    #InsteadOfBrains!,GetIt?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Halle Berry is in the Flintstones porn parody???

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    What?

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I think with Kyle MacLachan there, the actual movie works OK as a Twin Peaks spin off.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Planet Earth is blue.

  • Palpatine

    And there’s nothing I can do.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Wow! I think this article should have rather been called “The Top 10 Most ICONIC Lines From The Force Awakens! (Gone Sexual)”

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’ve wondered that myself. #genetics

  • OMNI

    I can’t believe that POS is 10 years old…

  • Earth

    It makes me happy that I was listening to it before he died. Thanks tOmy!

  • OMNI

    You old custy moldy fart…Oh wait I was looking at my reflection in my monitor…Bowie released his 3rd album “The Man who Sold the World” 3 weeks after I was born. Although I wouldn’t be able to appreciate Bowie for another 13 years..

  • OMNI

    The mini-series in the mid 70’s was the best portrayal of Moses, followed by…..”The Ten Commandments” by Cecil B Demill.

  • OMNI

    God that looks like shit, literally.

  • OMNI

    I’m with Jay on Jackie Brown being my favorite Tarantino movie. I don’t know what it is about that movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Dance, magic dance

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Is no one going to go with “Ashes to ashes” as their Bowie salute?

  • Marvin

    I agree wholeheartedly. The version where Ben Kingsley plays Moses is not that good imo, because I don’t see Kingsley as Moses. Kingsley played a great Ghandi and he also played a great Potiphar in another bible movie about Joseph. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113483/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_80

  • Bubs

    This is my personal favorite David Bowie song:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

  • Palpatine

    That’s about as original as using this:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-24Yj-CVspM

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Speaking of Moses…Bowie in his own words…

    “Music has given me over 40 years of extraordinary experiences. I can’t say that life’s pains or more tragic episodes have been diminished because of it.

    But it’s allowed me so many moments of companionship when I’ve been lonely and a sublime means of communication when I wanted to touch people.

    It’s been both my doorway of perception and the house that I live in. I only hope that it embraces you with the same lusty life force that it graciously offered me.

    Thank you very much and remember, if it itches, play it.”

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Simon Pegg wins the internet today.

    If you’re sad today, just remember the world is over 4 billion years old and you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie.”

  • It will probably help the sales, no less, tOmy was gushing over it not a week ago, so there is some possibility of it actually being good.

  • Yes, it’s called The Flintcocks.

  • He would do if:
    A. That was Simon Pegg’s real twitter account.
    B. That was actually his quote
    C. It was at least the quote of the person who ran the fake twitter account.
    Sadly none of those are true.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    From what I listened to, it’s Bowie quality, so, yeah. But boy will this mean so much more sales.

  • Red Skeleton

    Incidentally, she also has trouble picking husbands. BOOSH!

  • Red Skeleton

    Quit telling porkies, that doesn’t exist. That doesn’t exist! THAT DOESN’T EXIST!!!

  • Well, I just googled Flintstones XXX. Barney gets to bone Wilma.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    That’s just wrong. Double teaming is way more wholesome for a family XXX entertainment like ths.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    If it is, than that’s actually a good kinda 4th wall breaking joke. So, no, I don’t think it is. But maybe?

  • Like Icare

    He’s only 3 years older than Bowie was. He just looks far more ancient.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Apparently it is? Hmm. Someone’s either doing the marketing right or the movie wrong.

  • Like Icare

    Marketing was really good for that movie from the start.
    Apart from the trailers. Which just make it all look… stupid.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    We will always have the ads, I guess. I’m not even that big fan of Deadpool, but from trailers it just seems like a different way to not get what’s good about it, starring again Ryan Reynolds.

  • Doesn’t ‘stupid’ accurately describe Deadpool?

  • Get off my lawn, Reynolds! *cocks shotgun*

  • LukasWormTheThird

    “Stupid” “Fun” and “Knowing how stupid it is” is the three big ones. You gotta be clever to pull off stupid well.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Is Deadpool clever though? Like if you’re above the age of 14?

  • LukasWormTheThird

    In the right hands and appropriate format, but I think you got the right age there, yeah. As I said, not the biggest fan, but some one-offs or appearances of the character are pretty enjoyable.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    We need to talk about safe gun sex, Insty.

  • *guns shotcock*

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Well, whoever it is, Simon Pegg will getting their trophy from FedEx on Wednesday.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Gawd, that movie is gonna make me hate movies until next Oscar season.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Since we can no longer say “retarded (as fyuck)” in public, I guess so.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    The answer is: No.

  • Like Icare

    Not reaaaaaly… Trolling would be a better description.

  • OMNI

    Ben Kingsley will always be Ghandi…and Tugginmapuddah.

  • OMNI

    I did, but it was in my head along with Space Oddity.

  • OMNI

    I believe someone has just been Rick-Rolled…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I think life on mars is more fitting to my mood.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v–IqqusnNQ

  • Like Icare

    Same here.
    Only more so as it is a Marvel character and they all just feel… shallow to me.

    But yeah… it does feel like they are missing the point. Again.
    Though RR seems not to be a problem.
    Process that turned the original test footage into current trailer might be though.

    http://www.funnyjunk.com/Deadpool+test+footage+officially+release/movies/5238616/

  • “Have you ever danced with a hot dog by the pale moonlight”?

    His name… Space Cop

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This movie is going to kick ass.

  • Jason Ross

    In Space No One Can Hear You Cop.

    His name… Obvious. 2016

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Who you gonna hot dog?”

    His name… Space Cop

  • Palpatine

    “R.I.P. David Bowie.”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “I love the smell of hot dogs in the morning… Smells like Space Cop… One day they will release this movie.”
    His name, Space Cop.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “I’ve seen hotdogs… Hotdogs that you’ve seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that… but you have no right to judge me. It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what Hotdogs mean. Hotdogs. Hotdogs have a face… and you must make a friend of hotdogs. Hotdogs and moral terror are your friends.”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • tOmy`

    You know, I tried to avoid it, but as your music cheerleader, I just had to:

    Bowie – not a review, not a fandom, just… reality.

    Today, I went to a pub quiz – just like every Monday. The moderator (and my dear friend for more than 13 years) is a girl who grew up on Bowie. It was… a shitty Monday. A lot of people came in with Bowie’s t-shirt. Noone mentioned why. When the music round was over, people politely asked if Bowie can play throughout the whole quiz. As a background. Again, noone said shit.

    And I have to say: If Bowie breeds this kind of people, then I am sad for him passing away. We ain’t talking stupid quotes, random instagram photos or any of this similar shit. These people (no matter how young) grew up with Bowie… and just as I was surprised when Sir Pratchett passed away, I am yet again happy to see how true fans handle the loss… they still… didn’t exactly come to terms with it. Sure, it’s just “a guy on the radio”, but to repeat my comment from AV Club:

    If Bowie is at least partially responsible for shaping up the people I know and I love, then he is, to some extent, responsible for shaping up people who make a massive part of my life. And I would never change them.

    So… you know… thanks, David. You made people I call my friends tonight.

    Now back to 9/11

  • Domo

    I came across this quote in an article, and it sums up Bowie for me.

    “My David Bowie is not dead. Nor ever can be. What he gave to me is forever mine because he formed me. I have absolute clarity about that, I need no lamentations from politicians or TV presenters with their dim memories of his “hits”. I need no ranking of whether he was up there with Dylan or Lennon because I just know that is a dumb question. I simply know. He was my lodestar: in the years when I was trying to become myself, he showed me the endless possibilities. He extended out into the new spaces, metaphorically and physically. That man could move.”

  • tOmy`

    Just as Pratchett made more than a positive impact on me, I am glad Bowie left one on people I know. It’s a shitty attitude to give attention to celebrities when kids in Africa blah blah blah.

    I know it is.

    But there are moments when standing ovation for people who changed the world (at least in people’s heads) is in order.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Have any of you watched this “doc” called The Pervert’s Guide to Ideology? It probably is a bit euro-commie for some of you, but damn what a great display of ideas an socio-political commentary through movies, my brain is pregnant now. This Slavoj Zizek guy is really brilliant, and whether you buy his ideas or not, it really makes you think.

  • NicCagesHair

    It’s all that high class heroin he took. When it’s that high class heroin actually heals the body and mind.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    seen youtube clips of it. I wish the guy wasn’t so god damn creepy. Cause he makes good points.

  • NicCagesHair

    Has anyone checked on the Venture Brothers guys lately, they can’t be in a good place today.

  • Paulus Nuns

    At first I thought he was the creepy costume shop guy in Eyes Wide Shut.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “I am every fucking thing and just a little more
    I sold my soul but don’t you dare call me a whore
    and when I suck you off not a drop will go to waste
    it’s really not so bad you know once you get past the taste, yeah
    (asskisser)”

    His name…Space Cop INC

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Great minds…

  • …diarrhea alike. Heil five!

  • Paulus Nuns

    This Bowie thing makes me think…the next two decades are going to be like that. I wonder if this will happen 40-50 years in the future too, will people cry about today’s artists? I can’t even imagine it, but of course I’m a cynical bastard.

  • NicCagesHair

    I cry every time I think of Bieber dying. Cry tears of joy that is!!!!!! (This was a cheap joke and I’ll see myself out.)

  • Paulus Nuns

    I said artists

  • R.I.P. Miley Cyrus

    We will miss your crotch.

  • Paulus Nuns

    “Dust to dust, crotch to crotch.”

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Hank_Henshaw

    “Before I kill you, I’m going to throw your baby in a boiling pot.”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • NicCagesHair

    Well we do know she’s a junkie. Strung out since that performance to hit an all time low.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yes, because the artists in 40-50 years are going to be soooooo bad, that looking back, we are going to think that our current crap was pretty great.

  • Paulus Nuns

    If only she was into heroine, maybe she could play a sax solo.

  • Now I feel bad for masturbating to her concert videos.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Yeah, we’ll go through a revisionist era… also known as nostalgia

  • Paulus Nuns

    I’m loving these fake quotes haha

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s happening with the Prequels. It can happen with anything.

  • fred

    “ha ha hee hee, I like poo poo and pee pee”

  • I wouldn’t keep my hopes up. Plus, I really dislike Ryan Reynolds.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    From the same movie:

    “Does anybody ever call me names?”
    “What, you mean like ‘retard’?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Yes.”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • *cocks cock in response to your cock*

  • “His name? Space Cop.”

    His name… Space Cop.

  • tOmy`

    I might be drunk, but what is wrong with me:

    1) The most Oscar-worthy movie: Mad Furiosa (GET IT?)
    2) The most excitement: Fucking Fast&Furious I Don’t Even Know What’s The Actual Title

    … uhm… what happened?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    What the heart loves, the will chooses, and the mind justifies.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    yeah you’re drunk. you’re being unfunny and incoherent at the same time.

  • tOmy`

    No.

    I just fly baby.

  • I’m sure the academy will give a posthumous life-time achievement award to Paul Walker. I mean, someone needs to recognize the greatness of Tammy and the T-Rex.

  • tOmy`

    By bringing his CGI brain in a jar?

  • The Jar is his biopic. What?

  • Her wrecking balls*

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “I live by swag n walk wif swag me n friendZ smell like dog that rolled in poop but where that Chanel shit from Bali so it ok A Ok meow purr his FK ER RIGH IN DA PUSS as if get around me hiss I’m a cat so I drink milk and eat tuna my hobbies involve climbing trees and getting stuck in trees and getting stuck in trees and having to poop in the trees like a bird does and i eat birds sometimes too but they aren’t as swaggy as tuna so mum said nah and I’m a motherfkn fedora fanatic so move on bitch”

    His name…Space Cop.Tinder.2016.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s too bad I can’t post a pic from her concert now because it straight up might be ban worthy.

  • There’s always exiled….

  • tOmy`

    Hello, I am still here and I pose one simple question: After seeing Jessica Jones and Hannibal (S1), I have to ask:

    WHAT WENT SO FUCKING WRONG, CONSTANTINE?! And yes, I am looking at you, NBCunts, you ball-less motherfuckers! Either step up or step the fuck off, and give me the shit I have been waiting for, no one cares about Half In Th- oh.

  • tOmy`

    While other tv stations juggle a fucking rape-culture, mass-murder, pathological serial killers, racial diversity, chainsaw-on-dead murder, transsexuality, dragons, Kevin Bacon and goddamn cannibalism, your take was:

    “Uhmmm… passive smoking is bad.”

    Really? You goddamn fucks. Sell the rights and go back to making soap operas.

    FUCK.

    #IamDone #GoodNight #IJustReallyWantedConstantine

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Nothing on Earth could come between him and hot dogs.

    His name… Space Cop.

  • bleurgh

    The 80s were a dark age for music and the 90s pop stars who should have taken these guys places all fucked up their careers by taking drugs, not necessarily by dying or killing themselves, but by sailing right off the deep end in a lot of instances and becoming crazy and talentless. The guys from the 2000s, like Jack White and Josh Homme will hopefully still be around for a while. I don’t know if it’s possible for someone to become a star musically post 2010, but either way it’s a little early to call.

  • fred

    A hot dog is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends time and space.

  • bleurgh

    I just love the fact that he had no desire to create a conventional album. He knew he’s die shortly after it’s release and it would get a lot of attention and instead of creating something easily accessible he decided to create an eastern-influenced dark electronic acid jazz epic with a ten minute lead single.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    “Hey did you hear Snoop Dog finally died?”

    “Who?”

    “You know! He sang that song from that movie with Michelle Pffeifer and all the high school drop-outs.”

    “Erm. What movie?”

    “I’m really sad. Thoughts of mortality and what it all means and stuff.”

    “Erm. OK. Was Snoopy sick?”

    “Nope. He was just too old to get high. He could no longer just fly.”

    “How old was he?”

    “560 or something.”

    “Jeebus! That’s incredible.”

    “You understand, I was talking dog years.”

    END SCENE

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Oh, you mean like Adam Levine or some sh!t?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I had this same sort of thought about Ian Hunter* today. I kept looking for his public reaction, and when there was nothing I thought maybe somebody should check his apartment. You know, see if he’s alright.

    *Ian Hunter was the lead singer for Mott The Hoople, a band that had their biggest hit with “All the Young Dudes”, which I think everyone knows was written by David Bowie. Ian Hunter is still one of my favorite singer-songwriters who has endured since the Glam Rock days (he had a bit of a comeback engineered by the dudes in The Clash), and he’s really old now.

    Just explaining this for the kids on my lawn.

    #ComedyIsHard

  • RLMkeepitup

    I don’t recall seeing this posted yet..*link includes SW Spoilers* but this gave me a chuckle: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CYdAJzJUkAEH5lN.jpg

  • Cream-A-Thon

    All kinds of dimension love Armor Hot Dogs.

  • NicCagesHair

    Was Mott the Hoople the band referenced in that one queen song? or am I thinking of a different 70’s band?(It was a band they opened for early in their career. then referenced in a later song)

  • RLMkeepitup

    Yes? Yes!

  • Domo

    The Jeep’s name? Space Cop.

  • RLMkeepitup

    oddly philosophical

  • That’s funny cus’ it’s true!! 5/5

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Mott the Hoople was referenced by R.E.M. in “Man On the Moon.”

    I don’t know about Queen, although they were all pals.
    When Mott the Hoople split up, a couple of them became Bad Company.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King