Half in the Bag: Suicide Squad

August 7, 2016535 Comments

Mike and Jay weigh in on the critical darling Suicide Squad!

Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • Yay First?

  • Destroyer

    apparently

  • Jelly

  • Destroyer

    i dunno

  • Greenphlem

    My god

  • Beckoning Chasm

    The lighting in this is strange. Many times, Jay looks like he has a sandwich on top of his head.

  • instant relief

    Allahu ackbar!

  • David

    Finn and Jake!

  • Alexander Larsson

    Jay is so sexy.

  • Harry Loomer-Young

    …and there’s already a SS porn parody, that was fast

  • mister man

    Suicide Squad was a very dumb movie.

  • FiachSidhe

    Admiral Ackbar!

  • Harry Loomer-Young

    Ol’ Jay Sandwich Head, underrated tick villain.

  • Destroyer

    to be fair to some of their critiques… Waller being responsible for the threat is pretty good, it’s supposed to show her ways are flawed, she’s not some character you’re supposed to see as right or good. Also the team wasn’t made to combat Enchantress or the Incubus, their mission was just to secure Waller, there was no objective to go after Enchantress until Waller is taken.

  • Jeffrey Padilla

    The day the clown cried!

  • Martin McNickle

    What did Jay do to his hair?

  • stryker1121

    Get em, Pa!

  • Bert Godding

    The scene with the guard was the Joker forcing him to give Harley the phone. He gave it to her in the next scene, and said to tell Mr. J he came through on what he was supposed to do. It was clear to me.

  • Adzl33t

    I’m a DC fan and I think Zack Synder is the worse thing that happen to DC movies since Joel Schumacher

    Unlike other shallow fanboys, I ask for quality

    Assault on Arkham is a way better movie

  • Adzl33t

    Please review Sausage Party and Kubo, some animated movies please

  • Mike Schwartz

    “They don’t know what they want until they see what they don’t want” pretty much sums up 15 years of my career.

  • ray

    The scene with the guard in the casino with Joker:

    That guard gave Harley the cell phone.

    I agree with absolutely everything you said here. Abysmal mess.

  • Kyle James Youldon

    Zack Snyder didn’t make Suicide Squad ffs

  • RLMkeepitup

    just like raising the minimum wage, lowering the minimum movie score will fix all this. I’m talking negative numbers here.

  • Adzl33t

    I still blame Synder

  • Kyle James Youldon

    Then you’re a shallow fanboy

  • Imperial_orb

    The Hollywood folks of today have no respect for their movies.

  • Adzl33t

    Whatever just as long as I’m not as shallow as those who liked these new DC movies

  • sxopes

    Ahh, Stranger Things!!

  • I personally forgot that scene entirely and was only interested in the Joker’s golden AK-47. That is how lost I was and stopped paying attention after the 15 minutes of exposition.

  • ♬ Aaaaaaah I can’t stand it I know you planned it…
    S s s s suicide ♬

  • Kyle James Youldon

    Yes because if you like a movie you’re shallow. I’m not going to be like everyone else and be like “oh the movie was shit” so that there’s a chance RLM will look upon your comment and deem you cool. I liked the movie. It’s what DC needs to do with their movies. They can’t all be dark and foreboding. Sure it had it’s issues, but I liked it and thought it was way better than BvS. It’s a fucking movie based off a comic book, a work of FICTION. People who pick everything, and over think movies like this need to get a life (RLM excluded).

  • I too wanted to tie knots after seeing this. The Stranger Things plug at the end is fun. I really enjoyed the netflix series.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    So does that make Jessi the Harley Quinn of RLM?

  • Adzl33t

    It’s try hard “dark”, a corporate misunderstanding of maturity to market to 13 years old

  • Ian Fiebig

    They treated it a lot better then I expected. Maybe because I tuned out in the first half, and didn’t give the second a chance.

    But I feel like editing alone wasn’t the problem here. Slipknot and Katana show up out of nowhere a third of the way in. Croc and the Aussie have no meaningful role in the movie. I think this thing was dead from the start. The editing fiasco was the result of trying to fix it.

    And to think of everything the cast went through for 12 minutes of uninteresting Joker.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I hear that, in the first cut of the film, all the members of the Suicide Squad were slaves on Tatooine.
    “Amanda Waller put chips in our necks. And, if we try to escape, she BLOWS US UP! KABOOM!”

  • Cool, I just finished “Stranger Things” and was wondering if they were going to do any sort of review for it. I was actually expecting a return of “Quick Cuts” but maybe they can do a “Half in the Bag” where they point out some of the influences.

    Or pair it with a classic 80’s movie like “E.T.” or a less than classic TV movie like “IT”. Or something I haven’t heard of that is also a pairing of a vowel and the letter T, is “At”, “Ut”, or “Ot” a thing?

  • Fiction doesn’t mean it has to be a train wreck of a movie. You can forgo the need to nit-pick if the film is engaging. When it is so hard to follow you immediately go into the need to be critical.

  • Percy Gryce

    As my fellow Patreon patrons know, I was hoping for an extended review of the WB’s 2002 series Birds of Prey. Then Mike made me think that they were going to talk about AMC’s The Killing, which starred Joel Kinnaman and Mireille Enos, who played Brad Pitt’s wife in World War Z, which is what I think Mike was trying to say but that beer wouldn’t let him.

    But I guess Stranger Things will have to do.

  • Mike Schwartz

    21:06 “It looks like Hot Topic threw up all over Guardians of the Galaxy.” Every reason I love these guys summed up in one sentence.

  • Kyle James Youldon

    I followed it fine.

  • Kyle James Youldon

    I didn’t get that from the film.

  • Sequester Zone

    Sorcerer was a remake of The Wages of Fear. I’m surprised Jay mentioned it because they changed all the male cast in the original into women.

  • Crossover here we come!

  • Ian Fiebig

    And that mission was crap. If the helicopter had not been shot down (The first of three helicopter’s shot down) their mission would be fly to the building. Go down a floor. Maybe kill some zombies, and fly out. A mission even less fitting for Suicide Squad then taking out Enchantress.

  • Percy Gryce

    I’m not touching that remark with Rich Evans’s ten-foot pole.

  • I applaud your metahuman abilities of concentration.

  • Percy Gryce

    Why are we still talking about that movie? Did you know that there’s a magic potion that makes you forget, ah, fuck it.

  • Kyle James Youldon

    Thank you sir

  • Popo Bawa

    The way this was edited with a Garden Weasel really oxygenates my wombspace.

  • Percy Gryce

    I’ve stopped going to movies. I just stay home and watch HITB.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    HITB is a great reason to not not drink.

  • Percy Gryce

    Nice callback. You went all ol’ skool WOTW on us.

  • The intended audience of this film is very clear if you think about it. It was made for fans and people foolish enough to pay to see it. It will be interesting to see how this does next weekend.

  • RLMkeepitup

    get some more balls hollywood before Neil Breens takes over your industry.

  • Adzl33t

    You didn’t notice the Hot Topic pandering

  • This scene with the neon pink warping of the image was beyond stupid.

  • Kyle James Youldon

    I am a consistent connoisseur of Hot Topic….maybe that’s why I liked it so much

  • Adzl33t

    Aww man now I got binge Stranger Days, review Bojack Horseman instead

    Looks cool, but eh Attack the Block is a better Goonies esqus thing

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    “Why are we still talking about that movie?”
    I KNOW!
    Can’t we just put Suicide Squad behind us?

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    “Hello, darkness, my old friend…”

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    MORE balls?
    As if it weren’t hard ENOUGH for women to get good roles!

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    This episode, in particular, gave me good reasons to tie knots while I drink.

  • Clint Page

    Speaking of Netflix originals, Joel Kinnamon is the lead in Altered Carbon, which might end up being a terrible show (I want it to be great, but it shares some producers with Terminator: Gynysys), but is an amazingly good book.

  • Is the boomerang man’s thing with the pink unicorn have anything to do with the comics or is it an attempt to ape Deadpool’s unicorn thing? Can a comic book person fill me in on this?

  • Mike Magnum

    Personally i really don’t care what DC has done to Harley Quinn. I liked it better when she was the Jokers conscience. Like the Batman TAS episode were she stopped the Joker from blowing up Gotham. Because it would kill her dogs and Ivy. Now she just as psychopathic as the Joker and Ivy & Harley are Lesbos. I feel like everytime DC adds Lesbian characters. I feel its more about giving 15 year old boys something to get there Jolly off. And Less to do with representation. I think DC only has like 2 gay men. And the most sexual thing you will see them doing. Is smoking in bed.

  • Domo

    Watching Mike and Jay try to interact with the Juggalo Hot Topic audience would be more fun and exciting than watching Suicide Squad.

  • why_wolf

    she was sort of a lesbo back in TAS as well. Remember that time she was roommates with Ivy?

  • why_wolf

    serious question would it be worth it to see it just watch the train wreak or is it simply to bad for even that?

  • Adzl33t

    I would watch a romcom with Harley and Ivy

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    “Fuckin’ MADNESS! How does it work?”
    -Jared Leto’s Joker, probably.

  • Not to mention ruining the whole subtext of how they represent a classic abusive relationship.

  • Nope. Added to the movie to make it LOL SO RANDUMB XD jajaja (crying_lauging_emoji.jpg)

  • Of course Jai Courtney came back to them after he left.

    He’s Captain Boomerang after all.

  • kingofmadcows

    That was actually kind of a weird scene since the guard wasn’t even being discreet when he gave Harley the phone and he was talking out loud to her with other guards around.

  • why_wolf

    From what everyone has been saying (haven’t seen it myself) I’m getting the distinct impression that even Ayers version must have been bad. I’m going to guess they never had a version that gave people a reason to actually like the characters and thus no one gave a shit about anything they did. You really can’t edit around bland characters.

  • Thank you.

  • Tanuki Man

    It’s pronounced “bolin” not “bow line. “

  • why_wolf

    he was an executive producer on it.

  • kingofmadcows

    I’m surprised that neither Mike nor Jay mentioned the fact that none of the Suicide Squad members were really that villainous. They have the characters say that they’re bad guys but the film constantly shows us how they’re really not that bad. Deadshot is the most obvious one since they constantly reminded the audience how much he loved his daughter and how he has a code of honor and really only kills bad people.

    If anything, the Suicide Squad were portrayed as being way more heroic than Batman and Superman. They certainly kill way fewer people and cause less collateral damage than Batman and Superman.

    There was also no real conflict between the members. There was barely even any interaction between them except for Flag, Harley, and Deadshot. So it was really weird when they started to get all chummy and decided to work together and stand up for each other. They’ve known each other for like a day. There was no motivation for half the team to help each other or complete the mission.

  • It’s like poetry.

  • I choked up when Will Smith was emotional after seeing a pair of manikins. This film has heart! Same when Diablo-guy, 10 minutes after telling them he killed his family and they decided they are a team-family unit, cried out that he “lost one family already and I wont lose another” or something like that before sacrificing himself. I really felt like I got to know him as a character.

  • Domo

    Hey now. Troll 2 taught me that dads will take a guy’s tiny little balls and eat them. Claudio Fragrasso sure taught me!

    The things fathers are willing to do to break the glass ceiling for their daughters is just amazing.

  • Studio Executive

    Hey, let me be very clear about this: this movie didn’t get fucked up because we got scared, this movie got fucked up because we got greedy!

  • Charon

    I will most definitely be making Suicide Schlock a Redbox rental.

  • Turok Obama

    Ike Barinholtz’s character, when ambushed by the Joker was given a cell phone, which was then given to Harley Quinn. Where Harley hid the phone so her handlers wouldn’t see is up to your imagination.

  • Variant

    Perfect timing.

  • Strangest things reviewing Stranger Things? Ok.

  • It was a hot mess, but I had fun with it. Then again, my expectations had been bottomed out by Hack Snyder, so that probably was a factor.

  • Sully

    I’ll give it a week before Warner Bros. announces the “extended NC-17 cut” of the film.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I thought “Suicide Squad” was the name of all Rio Olympic teams that participate in the aquatics events.

  • Omnis Odium

    Still cleaner than the drinking water in most American cities

  • Sully

    I thought it was an ISIS documentary.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    I know you really wish that was true … but it just isn’t.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    “When do we see women in movies? We NEVER do, that’s when.”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “We have a saying in this town, “If it’s brown, send it down – if it’s black, send it back.”

  • jhonny_appleseed

    You think Roy Scheider was a woman? He’s gonna need a bigger man in the boat!

  • Punanistorm

    Will Smith is such a pussy. Even when he finally decides to play a “villain” he’s playing the good guy father who only kills other criminals and faceless henchmen. Fuck off..

  • MR

    It’s a trap!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Oh mighty Isis!

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    #troll2feminism

  • jhonny_appleseed

    “Stranger Things” = Reference + Nostalgia

  • Domo

    Are you drunk, Studio Executive? Or did someone hack your account and share your private emails?

  • Studio Executive

    Fucking up a movie because you wanted to make more money isn’t “fucking up,” it’s just fucking up A MOVIE. The goal isn’t to make movies, the goal is to make money. I’d burn a thousand movies to the ground if it increased the international gross by a tenth of a point, and I’d be rewarded for it!

  • Studio Executive

    And to be fair, yes, I have been drinking. It’s been a rough summer…

  • richardwicks

    You know what would be cool? If the studios would just dump the ENTIRE film, all of it, on a giant assed Blu Ray and allow the PUBLIC to re-edit it into a film.

    That would be pretty neat.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I thought that worked quite well on the prequel re-edits, “Jedi Party”, “The Friend Zone”, and “Revenge of Middle Management”.

  • Sleverin

    That sounds compelling and heartfelt. In fact it sounds even better than “Reservoir Dogs” when Harvey Keitel was going over why he told Mr. Orange his first name to comfort him. Tarantino’s is fucking hack compared to any of this majesty.

  • Every shareholder of WB gets to edit a portion of the film

  • Punanistorm

    They’re doing it. They’re finally doing it. They’re reviewing a fucking TV-Show.
    Hey! Hack frauds! You should review Utopia! You won’t regret it!

  • OMNI

    I will watch this when it comes to home media solely to watch Harley Quinn. Will Smith may help me actually finish the movie.
    Jared Leto worst Joker evar!

  • OMNI

    Or just edit it as many times in as many ways as you, the consumer want!

  • instant relief

    Sigh, yet another gender-swapped reboot.

  • OMNI

    I think Suicide Squad, is the first “Comic-Porn” movie. Not as in there’s actual pornography, but that it IS actually “Comic-Porn”.

  • Punanistorm

    The best thing to come from Suicide Squad? All the Harley Quinn porn parodies.

  • OMNI

    I’ll just fapp-off to Harley in SS.

  • instant relief

    I’d watch that for a dollar.

  • Troll Prince

    Flipping Sorceror. Good pull.

  • They also will release an R-rated one just in time for *bleep*-mas.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    Did I miss it, or did Mike never give his sinister theory about all the pop songs? Were they slamming Max Landis? Are they really being paid by Netflix?

  • jhonny_appleseed

    People always say what a genius Tarantino is, but I have to say Reservoir Dogs is his only truly great movie. It’s the one you can go back to over and over and it’s amazing … and he stole most of it, and the rest is because of brilliant performances.

    I just tried re-watching Kill Bill. Jeez what a hot mess.

  • instant relief

    Yes.

  • Copperbeard

    He is not a hero we deserve, but a hero we need right now. He is a real human Breen. And a Neil hero.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    You know the funny thing? Everyone hated that movie and they talk about it daily. Everyone supposedly loved the JJ Abrams hack reboot, and nobody remembers a thing about it.

  • OMNI

    Only in certain universes…

  • instant relief

    I wanna get high. Mind if I lick your back, toad?

  • Troll Prince

    Doods… you guys aare wrong about this

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Marvels’ biggest nemesis: Thanos
    DC’s biggest nemesis: Rotten Tomatoes

  • Ken Vinton

    It was because of Guardians of the Galaxy. As he was saying it the Guardians poster slowly faded into the shot.

  • Popo Bawa

    I wish! I miss Jessi.

  • Popo Bawa

    Well, I’m an AC fan and my favorite movie is sticking my tongue in a light socket.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Supple knees.

  • Copperbeard

    “Big Hollywood summer blockbuster” may not have been the appropriate format for this kind of story. Would have been better as a tv series with a rotating cast as squad members get killed off during missions.

  • BilboBaggins

    This was probably more entertaining than the movie itself (I’m not going to watch it). I should send them my $10 for the laughs.

  • Copperbeard

    People nearly tore me apart when I suggested he hasn’t the range to play the character. He is “goofy awkward dad Will Smith with a wristgun” and not Deadshot.

  • moron

    Holy shit, Jay actually made me laugh when he was talking about how horrible this movie was. “I see your value now.”

    Reviewing a TV Show ehhhhhh you guys are jumping the shark there. I’m still stuck in a ST: Voyager binge cycle and don’t plan on watching stranger things. My thoughts to your thoughts: My mind to your mind. Tuvok was trying to teach B’Elanna to meditate. They could have used a laugh track almost. He called her turtle-head. FUCK MOVIES.

  • Copperbeard

    But…but they said they were the baaaawd guuuuuyz.

  • Sully

    That much, huh?

  • Popo Bawa

    Kewl! And if you really want to grow another inch taller, you can pay somebody to cut off your legs with a chainsaw. That’s what being awesome is all about.

  • Popo Bawa

    A char-actor?

  • Popo Bawa

    I like Dogs, but I think that Jackie Brown is his best that I’ve seen.

  • Popo Bawa

    Breen is also the antidote for living in an uncertain universe.

  • Popo Bawa

    I loved the part when Jared Leto Atreides snorted that whole tray of sandtrout and did that erotic twitch dance.

  • bernverdnardo

    It was better than Batman vs Superman, but thats not saying much. The characters are interesting enough to carry the movie (I never read the comics, so they were all new to me). Parts were funny, the wide-eyed smile on Harley’s face kept me laughing throughout. I actually liked it better than Deadpool, that movie was just so stupid and juvenile I was rolling my eyes the whole way through.

    But yes, as Mike and Jay point out- Superheros with no superhero powers and no reason to be anywhere but prison, setup scenes for deleted payoffs, and the music- we get two Rolling Stones songs within like 10 minutes, as if one wasn’t bad enough.

    There are three helicopter crashes and somehow nobody ever gets hurt? Apparently the slime dyed Harley’s hair? Is it a racial joke when Will Smith always calls the Mexican guy “ese”, or is this serious?

  • They should just cut to chase and release the Brazzers parodies for the film instead. At least then, you’ll watch something that’s properly lit.

  • …So basically what Bethesda does with Elder Scrolls and Fallout now?

  • I’m more of an Enchantress and Katana man meself.

  • Jinx Murphy

    You left out quality

  • That could be said about most superhero yarns to a degree. They originated, and work best as, long running serialized stories.

  • instant relief

    Yeah, as a big DC movieverse fan I know no boundaries.

  • Popo Bawa

    and loose throats!

  • SUPERMAD

    Bout time you assholes started reviewing TV shows. That’s where the Real Gold is these days. Now just Plinkett the fuck out of LOST so I can die happy.

  • jmt

    That’s dysentery squad.

  • Michael Collins

    The original was better, but sorcerer was good…

  • jmt

    The single most apposite comment about the look of Leto’s joker before the movie came out was: “It was design clearly done by committee.”

    It should be no surprise the rest of the movie was was built by committee.

  • odigity

    It anything would inspire them to do so, it would be Stranger Things.

  • Michael Collins

    So, this is like a remake of The Dirty Dozen, but with less than a dozen?

  • Gillman

    I really enjoyed Suicide Squad but I respect your guys opinion on the film, you frauds!

  • Gillman

    Also it’s a movie where there’s an all powerful witch, a crocodile man, a soul trapping blade and Joel Kinnamon’s awful accent and yet you’re concerned about a cell phone? A cell phone where they showed Ike Barinholtz handing it to Harley when they’re being escorted to the plane?

    Also when is the next Plinkett review?

  • instant relief

    Why do you respect other people’s opinions? What the hell is wrong with you?

  • Gillman

    Did I miss some kind of memo?

    Oh…I forgot I was on the internet. You’re right.

    I don’t like your opinion because it doesn’t align to my opinion, you hack frauds!

  • instant relief

    Thank you! Common sense defeated once again.

  • JsironStories

    So did Stranger Things.

  • instant relief

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SNAP! *AIRHORN* *MIC DROP*

  • Gavin Wright

    That was actually the proper use of the word “affects”, you hack frauds (except for the part where it was capitalized).

  • CM Chunk

    It seems lots of people missed the fact that the Joker asked the prison guard to slip Harley the cell phone.

    But I CAUGHT that detail and still wasn’t sure what the hell happened there for a while. It’s a poorly edited scene.

  • CM Chunk

    Honestly, the film would have worked best with them starting the film with the SS being thrown into the scenario with zero explanation of who everyone is and what’s going on, and then you let that shit get revealed as the movie progresses.

  • Destroyer

    i mean, it’d be their first mission

  • happychristmaseveryone

    Thank fuck you fucks reviewed this quickly. I couldn’t have waited for another two weeks.

    SHUT UP WITH THE KNOTS

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    ThIs movie makeS me sad. It sHows That the mouth breAthing plebs have been conditioned by studio slave masteRs under the guise of this marketed “nerd/geek” culture they will flop their wallets of cliffs like lemmings to not be pariahs. Same with our elections really. Shitty year for film and the country really.

    These comic book movies are cancer. Hollywood is all but devoid of They were just a couple of songwriters who came to Ishtar to break into show business. So how did they wind up on everyone’s hit list? Warren Beatty, Dustin Hoffman, and Isabelle Adjani (only youuuuuuuuu…. I think they’re wonderful) Ishtar. Available on BluRay, VHS, and DVD.

  • You mentioned Andy Dick. I’m putting the Phil Hartman hex on you.

  • happychristmaseveryone

    There’s only one man who can stop Dick now! Get me… Lovitz!

  • Joshua Burns

    I teach film at a high school and today every kid who saw it loved it.

    Dear God, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!

  • Checked

    Aw. I wish i hadnt listened to the Stranger Things song at the end.

    I guess I know what im gonna rewatch again.

  • Shiggz Rocketsurgeon

    That Joker was the most disappointing thing since Mike Plinketts son hung himself in that gas station bathroom.

  • Chomiq

    There’s brazzers for that.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    So in this universe, they released these people and bought them costumes with matching and stylized gear? They had a bat painted up for her? A shirt and jacket that say “Daddy’s Little Monster”? They offer her makeup? What is this shit? These men are frauds! Are the two American messengers from god dead? Are they just a couple of songwriters who came to Ishtar looking for a break? So how did they wind up on everyone’s hitlist?

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Or the quirkier “Kelly’s Heroes”. Or “Where Eagles Dare”. Or “Disney’s Recess: The Movie”. Or “Oceans Eleven”. Or “The Italian Job”. Or “The Seven Sam…aww you get the idea.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Why? It’s a schmaltzy rip off of countless Stephen King and Spielberg stuff with an 80s wrapper (and uber hip synth score) to cynically sell a lesser and derivative work with added “do you remember that?” nostalgia.

    It’s okay, but I’ve seen it a 100 times before. Maybe it’s because I grew up in the 80s or the fact that almost all I watch is 80s B movie shit. Or maybe I am an asshole. I don’t know.

  • Shiggz Rocketsurgeon

    Shorter:
    Wait for Suicide Squad the directors cut

  • Rustam Khuranov

    Not an argument.

  • When you go to prison they take all the stuff you have so I think the hint was meant to be she brought that to court and it was taken from her. No one made it up for her, hence the bit where she remembers the flashback in the jester gear.

  • Rustam Khuranov

    PG13 so they can get that sweet uninformed teen audience.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    You say this like there is logic to the film OR that I would ever watch it. 😉

  • I saw it yesterday and… I enjoyed it! It was a bit silly and nonsensical but overall I actually had fun. Felt it was much better than BvS.

  • bleurgh

    Watching Suicicde Squad at my local hipster / Arthouse cinema and I’m the only motherfucker in this theatre. It’s like a private screening. I take it the movie isn’t doing well. I feel like I’ll come to this with a fresh perspective as I avoided both of those depressing looking superman movies and am a general fan of the batman comics and rogues gallery. Not even the promise of 50 percent of a batman movie was enough to make me watch another Zach Snyder film so the less this movie feels like a Snyder film the better. Also I remember liking Fury a lot as an subversive anti-war movie war movie. Anyway I will give you an opinion before watching the red letter media review.

  • Variant

    I knew Jay would bring up Stranger Things at some point. Is that bit at the end a joke though? They don’t review TV shows, do they? No that I’d mind.

  • Variant

    Who knows, maybe there was a cut of the movie that was actually like that.

  • Variant

    No… you’re not on the internet… you ARE the internet.

  • Variant

    Well I think it was that and their discussion of the bizarre editing, and the fact that the final cut of the movie was apparently done by a trailerhouse (I’m guessing that’s a company that does trailers for movies?) And that last fact there is what my brain held onto – because what do you put in a trailer? Catchy music, if you’re a mindless, trailer-cutting hack fraud. What they mentioned about several pop songs one after another just made me imagine several trailers for this movie in a row, and I bet you that’s exactly what those parts will feel like.

  • Vodka binge

    The Sensitive Joss Whedon’s and hipsters hate it (they are all calling it sexist and racist), so that would probably be why the art theater was empty. The masses will eat this up though. Margot Robbie should have made half the cast expense. Her in that outfit will probably bring in 400 million alone, and teenage boys will probably see it a few times. Will Smith will bring in 200 million from that demographic. This movie made money the day Will Smith was cast and Margot Robbie promo shots were released.

  • happychristmaseveryone

    What happened to the fat one and the thin one talking about children’s video games from the 1980s? I like that.

  • happychristmaseveryone

    …And then you turned your head and the only other person in the otherwise empty theatre was sitting beside you, Jared Leto in full Joker make-up, eating babys’ heads from a brown paper bag/ ‘Fuck off. Leto’, you said.

  • happychristmaseveryone

    I actually enjoyed the Batman vs Superman thing. A little bit. I liked Jeremy Irons as Affleck’s bitchy gay husband.

  • Punanistorm

    Harley Quinn being a part of Suicide Squad is like Natasha Romanoff being part of the Avengers. We’re fighting monsters, meta-humans and Godlike beings. What the fuck are you doing here? You’re gonna use gymnastics and martial arts? Take that shit to Rio, morons.

  • tOmy`

    I am just gonna repost my review from Batmanblues.corn:

    This movie had so many problems that they completely overweight the sparse amount of good or fun in it. It was a boring, frustrating and cringy exercise in How Not To Make A Movie 101.

    Imagine you are building a skyscraper and you completely f*ck up the foundations, all the basics of architecture, design, physics… You can then slap as many cool tiles and windows on it, but that still doesn’t mean the building won’t crumble on itself the very moment you finish the project. And that is exactly what happened with this movie.

    The foundations in this metaphor are obviously they key aspects of every movie: Direction, editing, pacing, effects, score, soundtrack, script and plot. None of them worked in this movie. The movie basically didn’t have a proper first act, the second one was boring and unimaginative and the third one was straight up hysterical.

    The only way this movie could have redeemed itself was by hitting homeruns in the character / dialogue / story / atmosphere department. And while some of it wasn’t bad, the majority of it simply wasn’t working. Jokes kept falling flat, characters were poorly flashed out, emotional scenes were cringeworthy, cool scenes came off looking silly, plot didn’t make any sense and the whole thing was just this unfocused, muddled mess.

    Granted, if you are a big fan of these characters, there is a possibility that somehow, somewhere in your brain this movie works for you, because you are excited about seeing them on a silver screen. If you are one of those people, I am happy you enjoyed the movie and good for you. But for me this was the last straw of believing in WB and DC collaboration. It is hard to say who f*cked up, but one thing is sure: They all f*cked up and the only question is who f*cked up more. None of them did a good or artistic job. They turned cynical cashgrab into total clusterf*ck and the most mesmerizing thing is that on paper, this should have worked. This should have been funny. This could have been the movie people were waiting for. But I don’t think WB / DC knew what they were doing.

    Oh, and Mr. Leto should get off his high horse. His performance was shocking and frustrating to watch.

  • tOmy`

    They gave them their stuff back after they release them from prison. So at least there is a scene with a half naked Robbie. Done in a Bay style, mind you.

    To the soundtrack of Without Me.

  • James K. Nelson

    It absolutely killed it at the box office, making $135 million in its first weekend of release. Wow. Take from that what you will.

  • tOmy`

    I saw it this Saturday, the theater (350 seats) wasn’t exactly packed, but it was fullish.

    People seemed to hate the movie. Couple of them walked out.

  • Chowderbatter

    Their TV show reviewing show should be called “Half Out of the Bag” and feature Jay and Mike repairing film projectors.

    Also, they should have goatees because they’re from the mirror universe.

  • Variant

    Love it

  • Punanistorm

    Maybe they can do a running gag a la the Lucas one in HitB only here it’ll be Quentin Tarantino popping up now and again talking endlessly about how he’ll never shoot on digital and what swell and like-minded guys Mike and Jay are for repairing all these dusty old film projectors.

  • Michael Collins

    Do you even know the plot of The Dirty Dozen?

  • tOmy`

    Not to start an argument or anything, but I honestly believe that heaving line knot is superior to icicle hitch.

  • tOmy`

    “solely to watch Harley Quinn”

    Sorry to spoil the movie for you, but here is the twist: Seen the trailers? Laughed at her lines? Good, that means you saw all the good stuff sans like two 5 seconds moment. Rest of her “writing”? Pretty much shit.

    Not to even mention that half of the fun stuff with her from the trailers is fun only in the trailers thanks to clever cuts / editing. Most of these moments ain’t that funny or cool in the actual movie.

  • tOmy`

    I love you.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, look who the fox dragged in. Aloha, compadre!

    And I think they already said that extended cut ain’t happening. So I would give it at least two weeks.

  • tOmy`

    In the original material (or one of them), she was part of the SS because she knew Arkham.

    You know… someone actually gave that a thought. How about that, Ayer, you fucking hack?

  • Jean-francois Desbiens

    The guard is the one who gives Harley the phone! Pay attention. But yeah I agree with everything else you said.

  • tOmy`

    Not to be Watchmen apologist but the songs in it actually worked damn well.

    Obvious? Sure. But at least they had a point. In no way I will understand why Eminem’s Without Me was used in this movie. Was it just because it says “guess who’s back”? I am pretty fucking sure that was the case, because they had to awkwardly cut out every goddamn line of the song except for:

    “But sometimes the shit just seems, everybody only wants to discuss me / So this must mean I’m disgusting, but it’s just me I’m just obscene”

    I guess the movie’s dark tone wouldn’t fit that well with Eminem rapping about a lawsuit. And just in case you don’t know the song or the lyrics or the meaning behind them, I suggest looking it up, because once you realize what the song is about, then you will sorta understand how fucking dumb this movie is.

  • Punanistorm

    So she’s essentially a tour guide. Like Leslie Jones in Ghostbusters (2016). I mean I can warrent suspension of disbelief in movies like these but c’mon – women don’t have any sense of direction!

  • tOmy`

    Yes, pretty much. From what I understand*, this particular story is Assault on Arkham or something. And someone who knows Arkham is a good addition to your team. I get it. It’s supposed to be this dangerous, crazy place and you need someone to be, as you put it, a tour guide.

    In this movie? That takes place in a… city or something? Where you, apparnetly, have drones flying around? Mostly to be a plot device when writers write themselves in the corner? Yea, she has no place to be there. It’s funny, because most of them have no place to be there. And it’s not like the movie found a way to hide it or work around it. During the final boss fight, 80% of the SS just stand there. Literally just stand there. Because they have nothing to do.

    Man, the more I think about this movie, the more I realize how many layers of stupid decisions it has.

    *Gathered from internet comments, never read it, not a NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD

  • Norm Hull

    I thought it was a step up from the other two DC films. It was dark but not depressing. It was clearly hastily edited to try and feel like Guardians, and the music montages got old fast.

    I kind of liked the beginning with each person’s backstory, but it also reminded me how much the DC films are trying to rush the whole shared universe thing. Marvel took it’s damn time to get to Avengers.

  • tOmy`

    The flashback scenes were awesome because it made me wish I was watching that movie, instead of this movie.

    El Diablo origin story as a movie? I’d buy that for a dollar. But since they already spoiled it in this one, well, opportunity squashed, well done DC.

    And this actually goes for most of the Skwad. I’d watch their origin movies. They look like a fun bunch and there are themes to be explored and stories to be told.

  • Imperial_orb

    Did you know that there is a Serious Fraud Office (SFO) in the UK?America really could use one right now.

  • Norm Hull

    I didn’t hate his portrayal of the Joker, but Leto himself is so insufferable he’s pretty much ruined it for me.

    I thought the actors mostly did fine for their roles. Especially Viola Davis, she was more terrifying than the Joker, probably because she didn’t come off as trying too hard. Will Smith was great as Deadshot, but I hate to say I thought his daughter wasn’t that convincing. I think it was more of the lines she was given, they were so cliche “daddy is a criminal and my innocence will redeem him”.

  • Norm Hull

    Yeah, Natasha (and to a lesser extent Hawkeye) seemed like the odd ones out. They work fine as agents of Shield but to be standing toe to toe with supervillains it always seemed weird. At least guys like Ant Man and Hawkeye had crazy equipment to avoid a life-ending punch to the face

  • Norm Hull

    Man, that should have been the plot. Amanda just sets them up to do this insane prison escape attempt to test their worthiness. Tons of minor villains die by the bucketloads, and the Squad are the last ones standing….only to find out she was letting them plot their escape so they could become her pawns

  • tOmy`

    Characters were the highlight for me. El Diablo and Deadshot were pretty great, albeit kinda underwritten. And I could do without the whole “esse” thing, but then again, I guess it makes sense.

    I wouldn’t mind any of Leto’s take on Joker, but for the love of fuck, at least be consistent. It felt like a different Joker in every scene. Once he is this home-boy gangstah, then he is this terrifying prisoner, then he is like a casino owner turned manic, then he is in love with Harley…

    And then he just starts laughing, because Joker has the signature laugh and… why was he laughing again? He was depressed in that scene, right? So… what?

    I don’t even know what the hell was his performance about.

  • Norm Hull

    Tampa Bay Comic Con was chock full of Margot Robbie wannabes complete with the Daddy’s Little Monster shirts and short shorts. some pulled the looks off. others…didn’t.

  • tOmy`

    I have this feeling that every and any other story about Suicide Squad sounds like a good idea. But hey, blue lasers sell popcorn I guess.

    I also vaguely remember that there was one issue or story where they basically make a suicide mission that is only a diversion for Batman to do something else?

    How about using that one, WB? Sounds like a movie to me, especially since you so desperately wanna tie this to Justice League.

  • Norm Hull

    Yeah, maybe the supposed deleted scenes explain it better, the ones we won’t get until Leto dies for some reason. But I think the producers of this film had no idea what they wanted him to be beyond popular.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I have this feeling that Joker was somewhat tied to the plot in the original cut. Maybe he was even a character or something, not just a cynical marketing ploy.

  • Norm Hull

    And Rick Flag makes a burrito joke. But it’s played rather straight, like that it was ok for him to just call him that.

    Yeah I didn’t get how the plot armor saved the main characters without explanation or a scratch. Or how Viola Davis is stuck in some tentacle mind control thing and then survives the giant kaboom without anyone asking the obvious question.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of the vat of horse semen, I strongly suspect that it was supposed to be like a baptism scene? Or maybe I am just making a better movie in my head.

    Also, from what I remember, this scene caused a lot of stir: “Harley’s transformative origin was unveiled, explaining her bleached white skin and two-tone hair. It was a severe departure from her first origin, and a far inferior one due to one factor: it removed Harley’s agency. In other words, it took her choices out of her hands and put them in the Joker’s.”

    If I get it right, her original backstory is making a choice about joining Joker or something. The second origin story features the vat of horse semen, although he pushes her there, while in the movie she just sorta jumps because… I honestly don’t know. Love, I guess. Or maybe the Force told her to.

    So the movie version seems to be like a middle ground between these two. It’s the second origin story, but at the same time it is still her own choice, not just Joker’s doing.

    You can Google this crap if you want, just put Harley Quinn baptism (HA! Proves me right) into your Bing. Or allow links on this page, that would be pretty awesome.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, during the third helicopter crash, I just started laughing out loud. But hey, at least it wasn’t a spine-crushing crash as the first one that would most likely murder them all within a second.

  • Norm Hull

    I like Kill Bill but it has diminishing returns every time I rewatch it. Some of the dialogue is painful.

  • Variant

    This is unrelated but your random use of capitals made me think there was a hidden acronym or message in your post. Thanks for disappointing me!!

  • tOmy`

    Or why Enchantress, the blink-of-an-eye teleportating ancient deity just sorta stands there while the brother she loves so much is getting his ass kicked.

    What was she waiting for? Harley Quinn’s punchline? Did she read the script? Wait, what’s that lying on the ground? Is that the scr-

    Nah, I am just fucking with you, this movie didn’t have a script.

  • Norm Hull

    He needed to come back at the right moment and actually do something with his boomerangs, instead of just rejoining them in seconds. Element of predictable surprise and all. Really that seems like the only way a drunk with boomerangs would survive for 5 seconds fighting a crazy witch god

  • Variant

    It’s kind of pathetic that because of the success of Deadpool they thought they had to edit their movie to make it less linear. Like that was one distinct, stylized decision and it worked in that case, but here it just sounds like a completely miscalculated attempt copy a format that worked one time.

  • tOmy`

    I like to think that you can sorta watch it just to analyze it. But it is a very depressing prospect.

    It’s also kinda cool to watch just to see how many great movies this could have been.

    Apart from that… I think BvS is funnier train wreck. This just sucks. I couldn’t even muster enough fucks to give to actually hate the goddamn thing. Reminded me a lot of 50 Shades of Grey. These two movies barely justify any internet outrage or hate. To put it simply, they are not even hate-worthy.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Harley Quinn could be a part of the Suicide Squad, the problem is that the movie uses the Suicide Squad in a way that is unorthodox. Generally speaking, and I’m sure there are exceptions, the Suicide Squad is employed to do covert operations, infiltration, wetworks, and the like. Not to stop Superman-level threats (or that Enchantress woman).

  • tOmy`

    I would like to applaud you, kind hacks, for speaking my mind about this one. I had a hard time trying to sum this movie up. Yes, it can be picked apart, scene by scene, just to talk about how most of them are awful, but each in their very own special way.

    But Jay’s deadpan, “just stating the fact”, emotionless expression when he flats out says how much the movie fucking sucked is pretty much the most appropriate response (and a review) this movie deserves.

  • Punanistorm

    Anyone up for participating in a thread dedicated to highlighting all the stupid, illogical and embarrasing moments in SS no matter how small? I feel like it could be good fun!

    I’ll start..

    During the “climactic” final fight against that monster thingy after El Diablo is kicked in the stomach and sent flying, Deadshot starts walking TOWARDS the monster while firing his tiny wrist guns one at a time. He’s walking TOWARDS the monster til he’s within melee range and – SURPRISE – gets kicked stomped just like his hombre not two seconds ago. This is the world’s supposedly greatest assassin we’re talking about here walking towards a giant monster instead of keeping his distance taking advantage of his skill that is literally listed as being “lethal from 4000 meters”. Yeah, he’s trying to push the thing into the corner where the bomb is but c’mon! At least have him firing a bazooka, high caliber sniper or something with some stopping power!

    And Harley.. She joins him and luckily gets knocked back before she can swing her pathetic baseball bat at it. I mean, let’s say she ducks and manages to land a hit. There would be an awkward *thud* followed by her flashing a guilty smile at the monster as both the audience and her finally ask the question: “What the fuck is she doing here?”.

  • Nice backhanded jab at the link ban.

  • tOmy`

    Black Widow and Hawkeye serve as a great way to showcase that while Marvel’s output ain’t no freaking art, at least they have some sort of a damage control in place.

    Hawkeye himself makes the joke in AoU about being totally useless, yet lo and behold, he is an important part of the story. First we get to his farm, so the movie can change its pace and make a significant reveal and then we also learn about his kids, which not only serves as a backstory, but important thread which ties to his action with Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch.

    Black Widow, also the “useless” one, kickstarts the whole goddamn Hulk story, serves as an important piece of the whole “monster” theme and carries half of the Winter Soldier.

    It’s like these MCU frauds actually know how to do things in a respectable manner.

  • bleurgh

    Suicide Squad Review

    So this is probably going to be a pretty controversial opinion and maybe it helped that my expectations were set pretty low, but I actually thought this was a pretty good movie. Far from the best superhero film I’ve ever seen, but also far from the worst. Unfortunately the film starts incredibly strong and kind of unravels as it goes along, but just manages to pull itself together in the end to accomplish a reasonably satisfying conclusion.

    The first act of the film is my favourite part. Basically it starts with that woman from The Shield (who is great and probably best part of the movie) reading dossiers on all of various incarcerated villains who will eventually be squad members. She basically occupies the Nick Fury roll in the movie. Then we get short little back stories for each one of the central characters accompanied by fun, but kind of obvious pop songs. There’s honestly maybe one or two too many characters but that’s kind of a nitpick.

    This part of the movie is all edited together and paced really well and kind of sets expectations that the rest of the movie doesn’t quite live up to later on. The visual aesthetic of the film is definitely that goth / suicide girls sort of thing that I didn’t know was still popular and it’s definitely not for me, but it stops just short of being obnoxious. Snyder would have double and tripled down on those visual effects so hard that I probably would have had to walk out in disgust. The movie, at least in the first act, has a dark Guardians of the Galaxy kind of tone combined with someone trying really hard to imitate Tarrantino.

    I really dug this part of the movie. Will Smith is great even though he’s playing the same character he plays in everything. Marigot Robbie is great and Jared Leto is pretty good too. My favourite character is Katana though, even though they don’t give her anywhere near enough to do and she just kind of shows up and doesn’t say much.

    I respect the fact that they went in a completely new direction with the Joker after Ledgers version in the Dark Knight, but I feel like they went way overboard with the gangster rap influences and it didn’t really do anything for me personally.

    Also I don’t think it really suits the joker as a character. He’s so far above trying to intimidate people by wearing expensive jewellery and covering himself in tattoos. It actually makes him seem less threatening, like he’s trying way too hard to look scarey. It wasn’t enough to make me dislike this version of the character though. He’s just like a much less grounded and more heavily stylised version of the character than what we’ve seen depicted on screen before. If you can get past the tattoos and gold chains it’s fine.

    Then there’s a training / recruitment process where all these characters we’ve been introduced to in the previous scenes begin to interact for the first time which was a lot of fun, but with which I felt they honestly could have done more.

    From here the movie basically steals the plot of Escape from New York. A big bad emerges and the whole city is placed under quarantine and the squad members are basically told that they are to fight the big bad and his drones or bombs which have been implanted in their heads will detonate. Inhabitants of the city have been turned into these genuinely creepy black insectoid creatures covered in eyes, which look really cool.

    Here’s where the movie starts to stumble a bit. The score changes in the action scenes from the fun pop songs the movie was using before to this really overly dramatic orchestral music and honestly I would have preferred if they’d kept the upbeat pop music and kept the tone light. The premise is rediculous, so the tone should reflect that, but instead it falls into the typical melodramatic blockbuster style.

    It’s obvious that a lot of stuff was cut out of the middle of the film as it’s hard to keep track of what’s going on, but basically the characters are fighting there way to the big bad at the centre of the city, meanwhile the joker is trying to free Harley Quinn. There’s actually some decent work put into the character stuff, specifically with Harley, Deadshot and later on, El Diablo, who turn out to be the emotional core of the movie. Some of the other characters are given motivations, but they aren’t served anywhere near as well. Nevertheless the movie gives you enough to be invested and understand why these characters are behaving the way they do throughout the movie. I have to award the movie points here seeing as clear motivations and character based decision making is so often a problem with modern blockbusters. Usually shit just happens because the plot requires it to happen in order for the film to move to the next action set-peice. Rarely do events seem to be a logical extension of where the characters are emotionally and psychologically based on the evens that’s are happening to them.

    Guardians of the Galaxy did everything this movie was trying to do better, but it’s still kind of interesting to see a film where the main characters all have such unconventional or morally ambiguous worldviews and the film is most interesting when it explores this and shows us exactly where each of them draw the line and how they differ from one another, however it doesn’t dig very deep.

    You get the sense that a lot of stuff was cut out though as many of the character interactions are incredibly short and it doesn’t feel like there is a strong back and forth between them. That was really weird. I wonder if this was done to keep the pace of the movie going or because the script contained a very different version of the film.

    I won’t spoil it but the victory at the end of the movie feels earned. My biggest problem was that the plot of the film is heavily based around the relationship between one of the super-powered characters and the squads military commander / authority figure and the movie really didn’t do enough to establish or invest the audience in that relationship early on.

    I was worried about the possibility of the movie being extremely sexist, especially in light of containing a central character who is in an abusive relationship, but really the only sexist thing about her is her outfit, which suits her character seeing as she is basically a femme fatale. Also there’s a scene where it’s revealed that Harley just wants to settle down and have children with the joker, but the more I think about that the more I like it in light of the fact that the character is meant to be legitimately insane.

  • bloodstock pussyclarts

    the link ban is yr baptism

  • bleurgh

    Well all I can say to that is that the strongest character in the film was an African American woman who didn’t take any shit from anyone and basically succeeded at everything she set out to do so *fart sounds* to that interpretation.

  • Punanistorm

    For me the most revealing moment in the movie as to why Harley Quinn had no place being there was during the end fight vs. the monster thingy. She walks towards the monster with her bat and gets knocked the fuck back before she can swing it. Let’s say she ducked and manage to land a hit, then what? A low *thud* followed by Harley looking up at the monster with a guilty smile as it finally dawns upon everyone in the movie and the audience that Harley should be back in her cell doing cartwheels.

  • tOmy`

    Since you wanted to pick apart the scenes (your comment was inactive or something) here is my original response:

    I am totally up for it! Let’s do this shit!

    I will start with something I actually wanted to say couple of minutes ago: The bar scene. Yes, it was pretty much the highlight of the movie, but lemme ask this:

    Why was everyone so sad? “We almost pulled it off.” No, you DID pull it off. “They are gonna blame it on us, because we are the bad guys.” Wait, what? You are the bad guys, sure, I think that was the whole point of the movie, but what are they gonna blame you for? What exactly happened? Why are you so mopey about it? You did your job. You actually pulled off something you didn’t even care about in the first place, so why are you being sad?

    I have no clue as to what was their emotional state about.

  • Michael Collins

    I’d like to make absolutely zero points, and talk about absolutely nothing regarding this movie.

    Support me on patreon

  • Punanistorm

    Yeah, it got detected as being spam. I don’t know if it was because I dropped the f-bomb or because I edited the post too many times? I tried reposting it but that got detected as spam as well..

    I’ll take my chances and repost my other thoughts on Deadshot’s baffling combat procedure here then:

    Again, during the final fight against the monster thingy after El Diablo is kicked in the stomach and sent flying, Deadshot starts walking TOWARDS the monster while firing his tiny wrist guns one at a time. He’s walking TOWARDS the monster til he’s within melee range and – SURPRISE – gets kicked just like his hombre not two seconds ago.

    This is the world’s supposedly greatest assassin we’re talking about here walking towards a giant monster instead of keeping his distance taking advantage of his skill that is literally listed as being “lethal from 4000 meters”.

    Yeah, he’s trying to push the thing into the corner where the bomb is but c’mon, he’s still firing them ONE at a time. Would firing both of them at the same time not be more effective?! At least have him firing a bazooka, high caliber sniper or something with some actual stopping power!

  • Domo

    I would have loved it if Joker just stole Amanda Waller’s cellphone as a movie plot switcheroo.

    The team was going to go after the big blue beam in the sky, then Joker threatens SS with a terribly difficult bank heist instead. The joke Mike makes about holding the phone wrong and accidentally killing someone? Joker could do that easily.

    -Amanda Waller still takes out half her own special forces team trying to get her phone back.
    -Batman or Superman ends up taking out the blue beam to show he’s the good guy.
    -The Suicide Squad team work together to overthrow Joker and his goons, with some even being double-crossed for the team’s greater benefit.
    -Someone on the SS team is smart enough to put Amanda Waller on the phone, maybe, and plug her with one of the trackers just as she thinks she has the upper hand. It’s probably just a dud, though, so they can all escape, but Waller doesn’t find out until later after the team walks off into the sunset.

    This film didn’t need to be wacky or super dark. I just wanted a little clever mixed with a little double crossing.

  • tOmy`

    I actually think I know what this movie needed to be.

    If you ask me, Suicide Squad movie and El Diablo’s origin story should morph into one movie called El Diablo’s origin story.

  • Deacon Cole

    What’s wrong with women getting punched in the face. Women deserve equal rights and lefts.

    Seriously, if we’re going to have this “grrl power” equal right feminism stuff, then Batman punching Harley Quinn in the face doesn’t get to be shocking. Either women are equal and this is just a super hero punching another bad guy or they’re not and he shouldn’t be hitting girls. It can’t be both.

    Also, I really hate the character of Harley Quinn. Not the character so much as her tragically hip popularity. She didn’t exist before the animated series and now it’s not fun anymore. Stop it, kids. You’ve already ruined it.

  • tOmy`

    Or maybe use the drones / helicopters, that are clearly at your disposal throughout the whole movie, to bomb the monster you are about to bomb anyway.

    Sure, you could make the case that Enchantress would deus ex machina the fuck out of that plan, but then again, she didn’t do anything throughout the whole boss fight, so I am not completely sure about her efficiency anyway.

  • Nordquist

    Comment.

  • Yezzir!

    You guys’ actings are fake in the skits and it Affects my ability to enjoy these review

  • tOmy`

    I also have the feeling that Enchantress going rogue was supposed to be a twist, not a part of the story.

    If you remember, there are two instances of the Power Rangers henchmen trying to capture Rick and obviously carry him to Enchantress. This happens twice, yet is never mentioned again or somehow explained as to why is this happening. Something tells me there was supposed to be a reveal that Enchantress is behind all this awful shit (not the movie, the plot) and part of her wants to get Rick, because the women she is possessing likes a) Rick’s rick b) Rick’s Flagpole (chose your own punchline).

    I think.

  • tOmy`

    Like:

    1 – Episode 79 Interstellar (and the Black Hole) (2014)
    2 – Episode 41 Review: Skyfall (2012)

  • MARVEL SHILL!

  • Jeremy Grunloh

    You grammar are bad and it Affects my ability to read these comment.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Do we have to sign a petition to get Jessi back? Because I’m still waiting on my Death Star.

  • OneWingedRose

    The guard captain gave her the cellphone… it was a scene in the movie… did you not watch it?

    As for the rest, I thought the beginning was rather fun, the middle a bit boring and the climax a badly directed and badly choreographed mess.

  • OneWingedRose

    Also, Batman SHOULD punch Harley in the face in that situation, he did it to knock her out so he could save her, else she would’ve likely died trying to kill Bats under water.

  • OneWingedRose

    And I don’t like it when people have problems with hitting women but not men, she’s a member of the guard, so of course Slipknot would want to punch her. What’s the big deal? Respect her position already, not all girls are frail creatures unable to take a hit.

  • Punanistorm

    Yeah, they dropped the ball on that one. I think it’s probably due to Mike’s fatness and crippling alcoholism making it hard for him to.. well, do anything. And Jay was probably checking Grindr during that scene.

  • Ultragonk

    What surprised me is that nobody seemed really bothered by it. When Boomerang punched a guard everyone was all over him. When Slipknot smacked that woman he just kept on walking untouched, you’d think one of the guards would have smacked him in the back of the head with a gun butt or that she would have gotten up and smacked him back.

  • OneWingedRose

    That’s fair.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    In the original origin, Harley has a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome. She’s going through a constant struggle of being madly in love with a psychotic, while also realizing that she’s being horribly abused. She makes an occasional attempt at letting go of The Joker but keeps finding herself in his arms.

    I don’t know too much about the modern Harley, I think the original elements are still there. But the difference is that Joker physically forces her to change, while originally, all he did was manipulate her to feel empathy towards him: To start seeing Batman as the true bad guy and The Joker merely as a victim of circumstance. She believes she’s just doing the right thing in helping a misunderstood man.

    And I don’t even need to get started with how ridiculous the “bleached white skin and perfectly-split-in-the-middle-two-tone hair” thing is. I mean, I can suspend my disbelief enough to accept that The Joker’s hair turns green and skin white, but come on, now! Hair dye is a thing, you know?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Two words explain it all: “Trailer editor”.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Tom Rothman, is that you? You’re working for Sony now, instead of making critical hits like Wolverine Origins, you’re making Social Masterpice films like Ghostbusters 2016. Proof that anyone can fail to the top.

  • tOmy`

    Regarding her hair dye:

    Oh, buddy, this fucking movie… Well, I think the idea behind it was that Joker’s clothes melt off in the vat of horse semen, because we can see red and blue colors spreading around him. And I guess it was meant to like… change her hair color? I guess?

    But then when you see her in the prison cell, she has pure blonde hair? And then… in the movie… she has colorful hair again? But… the baptism scene clearly happened before she was put into the prison. So… when did she dye her hair? Or did it really dye her hair? Or…

    Man. CTRL C + CTRL V the second sentence of this post.

  • bleurgh

    The chemical was basically bleach. It’s the reason she and the joker have pale skin and white hair under their dye jobs.

    I imagine the movie takes place shortly after she was captured, hence her dye job hadn’t grown out yet. Honestly this is the most trivial of trivial complaints.

  • Punanistorm

    Well, that was Karen the office bitch he punched so it makes sense they’d let that one slide.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I’ll level with you, I stopped going to see DC movies after Man of Slaughter. Marvel has held my interest, and I find that funny considering I grew up in Batman TAS. The problem is that for me, they aren’t hitting the notes over at DC. I’m not interested in how light or dark the story is, I’m not a fucking Jedi, I care about a GOOD STORY. Frankly, they keep not doing it.

    Marvel can give you a straight narrative every time, love them or hate them, A leads to B, leads to C. It does it in a relatively simple way. DC does this convoluted shit, with flashbacks, shoehorning characters in etc.

    Just, come on, how hard is it to actually write a decent DC movie? There’s some great cartoons out there, old Superman ones like the one where he has to stop the stolen train, and they hit him with poison gas, he has to stop the train from crashing constantly, using his body as a bridge, acting as its brakes, almost like if Speed was on a train. I’d take that 15 minute Superman serial over Snyderman any day.

  • Sans_Fi

    The scene where the guard gives her the phone was very weirdly edited. I can understand why they didn’t get it.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, it wasn’t much of a complaint, just an observation, really.

    I didn’t even notice it before, but when Facey brought it up, I went: “Wait a minute…” and checked out screenshots from the movie.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Man, Assault on Arkham sucks. Everyone else seems to love it, though. I thought it tried way too hard to be edgy and I remember Harley especially being horribly and very forcibly written. But at least the plot makes sense, somewhat.

    #Yahtzee!
    Since when has that been Harley’s catchphrase?

  • Norm Hull

    Oh yeah when it comes to the story they tied them in fine. They know how to plan ahead and not just react to critics or what’s popular. As much crap as Disney gets for owning everything they allow their subsidiaries a ton of freedom.

  • bleurgh

    In the Killing Joke the chemical actually turns Jokers hair green. It probably should have done the same to Harley.

  • Gillman

    I agree, the movie as a whole is an editing nightmare.

  • Punanistorm

    A for me cringeworthy and totally forced emotional moment:

    Yet again at the final fight, El Diablo says: “I lost one family, I ain’t gonna lose another one.”.. Bruh, it’s gonna take more than a bar scene to make me believe you guys care about each other much less love each other..

  • Rumblepuss

    My medical school curriculum actually has a substantial Krav Maga component. I think it’s on the board exam??

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Maybe someone did drop the script and then everyone wondered where it went, shrugged and decided to wing it the rest of the way.

  • bleurgh

    That line was on the nose. The message probably would have been better communicated if he didn’t give a justification. He regrets the things he’s done and wants to redeem himself. We get it. Sometimes ideas can be subtextual.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They’re the company that made the (very successful) trailers for Suicide Squad, so DC decided in their panic reaction that it was a good idea to get them to do the whole movie.

  • So when I went to see Suicide Squad they had it available as both an audio/visual option or rectal suppository. I asked what the difference was and the guy in the booth said the audio/visual was more painful. I just went home.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Psst… I don’t think OMNI is talking about her lines, rather than her curves

  • bleurgh

    I imagine the clothing and weapons were seized and put into storage when they were imprisoned, but I will agree that your interpretation is totally rediculous.

  • bleurgh

    I loved the beginning of this movie and thought it was really weak and didn’t work at all when they did flashbacks in the Escape From New York section of the film. I suppose they could have started the film with the first attack scene and used that as a framing device as they delved into the characters backstories but I feel like that would have really stretched the backstories out.

  • bleurgh

    We can only speculate, but I feel pretty confident that the film was restructured in some way.

  • Punanistorm

    As Jay pointed out Waller was great except for the parts where the movie made her look like a stupid idiot.

  • bleurgh

    I think the pop music was a good choice if the music in the action scenes was how the film was originally scored.

  • Punanistorm

    Your oppinion isn’t so much controversial as it’s just downright stupid and wrong.

  • bleurgh

    He says in the movie that his rule is ‘No women or children’ not that his rule is ‘No good guys, only other criminals and faceless henchmen’. He basically would have killed anyone if the money was right. His ultimate fantasy revealed towards the end of the movie, is to murder Batman.

  • Variant

    Eugh… that’s just such an awful decision. There is such a distinct separation between a trailer for a movie and a movie and for the producers to not recognize that is baffling. Like… a trailer is supposed to get you hyped up.. get you interested… whatever. But the movie itself has to entertain you on an entirely different level. It’s like the difference between a song and an album. Or a verse and a bar. You can condense a whole lot of shit into a short summarization of an experience but in the end you have to deliver the full package. You have to complete the motion. A trailer is like when radio shows have those intro DJ remixes of all the songs that they play, which is quite frequently more slick and entertaining than the entirety of any of the shit songs they play. Even though I haven’t liked any of these DC movies it still kind of disappoints me like it did with Fantastic 4 that we likely won’t get to see the intended original cut.

  • bleurgh

    I love Kill Bill because it’s a hot mess. I’d rather watch a hot mess than something serviceable and dull.

  • Punanistorm

    Yeah, I remember when that line had an effect on me in Leon.

    I didn’t for one second believe that he would kill Batman, how the hell’s that gonna get him more time with his daughter? He didn’t even shoot Harley Quinn when Waller (lying or not) offered him freedom and full custody of his daughter. Why the fuck wouldn’t he at least, no pun intended, give that offer a shot? Oh, right, because Harley Quinn, the deranged psychotic murderer with the deranged psychotic murderer boyfriend is a woman.. And she called him her friend that one time.. And that’s more important than his freedom and daughter.. Right..

  • Variant

    are you a satire

  • bleurgh

    He didn’t kill Harley Quinn because Harley Quinn is a woman and as he says in almost the next scene, he doesn’t kill women or children. This is an instance in which the charisma of Will Smith works against the character who as written would appear to be much more misogynistic and bitter.

    You’re supposed to believe that Deadshots ultimate fantasy is to kill Batman because Batman ruined his life and embarrassed him by capturing him in front of his daughter, but I don’t think Smith was capable of expressing that through his performance.

  • Domo

    It’d also be nice if a punch against a woman was shown to be somewhat a slam against the character, or a sign of weakness. If a villain punched a woman, but saw a much bigger guy and chickened out, that’s a great way to show what an asshole somebody is, especially in this film’s context.

  • Troll Prince

    No. It’s an opinion. Stop trying to be right and just like what you like.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    As an example of how edgy Assault on Arkham is, they use every chance they get to have Harley or the ice lady (another Suicide Squad member) out of their clothes. Harley comes naked to Deadshot’s bed and says “I’ve got an itch I think ya can scratch!”, then there’s implied wild fucking and Harley joyfully screams “Yahtzee!” End scene. And this happened because… reasons? I guess in the new comics Harley says that Deadshot’s dick in her vag reminds her of a joke about clown cars… But in the film their romance has no context whatsoever. Harley just happened to be horny..?

    In another scene the ice lady gets into Arkham in a body bag, pretending to be a corpse she has no body heat. The coroner opens the bag and we get a Michael Bay shot of ice lady’s luscious, naked, dead-cold body. Cut to the the coroner break into a wide smile and lick his lips. And it’s not a “this guy’s spent too much time with naked dead people” kind of reaction either. It’s more like a cliched “seeing a hot girl with an amazing ass on the street” kind of face. What the hell were the writers thinking?!

  • Citzen Seven

    Is a multi-episode set up for Mike’s drinking problem going on with HitB? I can just see Jay and Rich monotonously reading from index cards explaining how Mike’s drinking is affecting them.

  • Troll Prince

    Wages of Fear? Right? Or Wages of Sin? Never saw it.

  • bleurgh

    Cool comment cunt! You’ve totally changed my mind with you shallow one sentence criticism that is devoid of substance.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Shit, you made me choke on my ice cream!

  • Domo

    That Crystal Skull vodka bottle is probably the seventh one he’s gone through, so a televised intervention is probably in order.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think you’re mistaking him for Jared Leto.

  • OMNI

    I don’t anyone noticed that Mike wasn’t drinking in this episode.

  • OMNI

    I said solely to WATCH Harley Quinn, who cares what comes out of her mouth, Robbie is drop dead gorgeous and I have a little crush going there.
    Pure eye candy and pizza rolls!

  • OMNI

    The comments on this one are back to form. The movie will be hard to live up to the experience being leveled out here. This is why I love RLM. Hell I even miss Pre-Rectum.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Their comments or our comments?

  • OMNI

    Both!

  • Punanistorm

    You watched their review I persume. If that doesn’t change your mind I doubt anything will.

  • OMNI

    An R rating would have changed the BO numbers significantly.

  • Punanistorm

    Killing a woman for money isn’t mysogynistic, it’s the same thing as killing a man – business.

    About his fantasy of killing Batman.. At the end of the bar scene he says to Flag: “My daughter is gonna know, that her daddy is not a piece of shit.” – Do you think killing Batman would make him more or less of a piece of shit in his daughter’s eyes?

    Nothing about Deadshot in this movie says “villian”, he’s about as relatable a villain as you get – he only kills criminal males and not women or children and he has a daughter he loves. I fail to see how this guy in this movie’s universe is a bad guy.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    The best part about this film is coming to this comment section and watching insecure weirdos fumble and trip over themselves to justify Batman punching Harley Quinn.

    Whether you think he should have or not.

    It’s all at once hilarious and pathetic.

    I laughed. I cried. I closed the f*ckin’ door.

  • Punanistorm

    Careful you don’t cut yourself on that edgy edge.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    It’s lonely at the top.

    It’s also the best.

  • bleurgh

    Do people really imagine that if the backstories were stretched out the movie would be more engaging? I get the impression they were truncated specifically because they made the movie feel 12 hours long. Less is more if you ask me.

    There’s a whole scene in the movie dedicated to showing Harley being given the cellphone so that comes down to unobservant viewing on Mike and Jays behalf.

    Jays complaints about women being punched in the face are making him sound like a Sensitive Joss Whedon.

    Mikes comments about the film being diverse are accurate, but because the movie also features one woman who chooses to wear revealing clothing in addition to the several other woman who choose not to wear revealing clothing the movie has already been written off by anyone who would care about it being diverse as being sexist.

    Mike and Jay are accurate about there being no clear audience for this movie other than sexual perverts, goths and people who are really into tattoos i.e weirdos. Oh and also I guess, people who are fans of movies generally who will see almost anything.

  • Punanistorm

    Fuck me, I’ll get you a band aid.

  • Punanistorm

    At one point we see Katana crying while talking Jap. Rick Flag explains to Boomerang and Deadshot that she’s talking to her dead husband’s soul that’s trapped in her sword.

    Captain Boomerang then says: “You know what they say about the crazy ones.”

    My question: Was that a sexual innuendo aimed at a grieving widow? And one that didn’t really even make sense?

    I know Boomerang is supposed to be a dick but Jesus.. Talk about being savage as the kids today would say.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    bandage*

    Those of us who live on the edge don’t have time for your brand names.

  • Punanistorm

    I agree. Africa can go fuck itself.

  • bleurgh

    I’m just so sick of origin stories. Just show me the guy, where he came from, his outfit and what his powers are, maybe give me his motivation if you really want. I really appreciated the one to two minute backstories in this movie. It felt like something out of a grindhouse movie. Just get to the fucking point.

  • bleurgh

    The video in which one person recommended the movie and the other didn’t and they both agreed that it was mixed? That video? Yeah I watched it and many of the sentiments in it were the same as those expressed in my review. why would a review that expresses the same criticisms as my review change my mind?

  • bleurgh

    I agree, she was great throughout almost all of the movie.

  • Punanistorm

    As far as I remember Jay didn’t complain about Daisy being punched repeatedly in the face in The Hateful Eight as she was being treated as what she was – a dangerous murderous prisoner.

    So when he has a problem with Harley Quinn, a psychotic and likely(?) murderer, being punched in the face for lunging at Batman with a knife does that rub people the wrong way because Harley Quinn is feminine and fuckable and Daisy’s not?

  • Did it have to be? It could have been a meaningless quip like say “You know what they say about dogs and blowing shit up”.

  • Punanistorm

    Oh, okay.. Well nothing makes me chuckle like a good nonsensical quip!

  • bleurgh

    No, not to this character it isn’t. Killing men is business. Killing women and children is off limits.

    And he only has to worry about the latter if his daughter finds out. Also it’s a fantasy sequence. A fantasy is allowed to be unrealistic. Harley and Diablos fantasies were also unrealistic. If Deadshot could kill Batman and also have his daughter know he’s not a piece of shit I am sure he would have it both ways.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    they just don’t think about what they watch in any real depth that’s all.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Who said Daisy wasn’t f*ckable?

  • Punanistorm

    Mike’s summarized thoughts on the movie: “I didn’t hate it.. It could have been good.. I enjoyed it on an analytical perspective.. to watch the Hindenburg with the giant DC logo on it.”

    I mean if that’s your idea of a recommendation.

  • Punanistorm

    Most people. But I agree, I would hit that even after her face was splattered with her brother’s brains.

  • tOmy`

    You know, I really wanted to avoid the obvious “DC stands for Damage Control” routine, but this is simply too great to ignore:

    David Ayer: Thank you thank you thank you! To the folks making @SuicideSquadWB a success this weekend. It’s just a fun Summer movie with a good heart.
    4:27 AM – 7 Aug 2016

    First of all, please notice the use of the word “just”. You know, as if to somehow trying to sell us on the idea that all “fun Summer movies” are supposed to be bad. But here is my real question:

    So you spent a year and a half working on and announcing a movie, that was supposed to be this big turnaround for both DCU, a movie that was supposed to finally prove that DC shared universe is worth it. Your set shenanigans, mister Ayer, consisted of one of your actors sending dead animals to other cast members as a form of a “method acting”, there are stories about situations bordering on mental and physical abuse, you were making actors share embarrassing and private stories, you constantly raved about the movie to depict a troubled, multi-layered minds of DC villains and you were basically promising a miracle of an arthouse cinema short of the actual return of Jesus…

    And now you say it is “just a fun Summer movie with a good heart”? Not to even mention the fact that 98% of people who liked this movie are saying that it is an thought-provoking triumph of a modern cinema. So you just shut them down while thanking them, congrats.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Well he wants to keep directing movies in hollywood ya know? honesty is the worst policy! just say whatever your PR person tells you and maybe in a decade or two you’ll get to actually tell your real story when the dust settles(as in your career loses momentum anyway so might as well have fun with it)

  • Punanistorm

    Those set shenanigans sound like comedy gold. I had no idea Mr. Ayer was such a funny guy.

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely. He wants that WB cheque, that’s fo shizzle, my skwad.

    Also, if WB’s idea is to promote this movie by saying: “Well, it wasn’t supposed to be as smart and philosophical as BvS”, then holy shit, I think these guys ain’t even watching their own movies!

  • tOmy`

    With a good heart.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    A man who wrote Fast&Furious 1 is a funnier man then Paul Feig.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And he was a good friend.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I HATE YOUUUU!

  • Punanistorm

    Will Smith couldn’t play a bad guy if his freedom and custody of his daughter depended on it.

  • He knew that FnF was about F A M I L Y from the very onset.

  • 150 mill worth of fun.

  • No, you hate sand.

  • Tapeworm

    He’s just trying not to Trank his career.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “Take it seriously until I tell you not to, because the reviews are bad.”

    Is what Ayer’s tweet means.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    “Silly rabbit.”
    “Trix are for kids.”

    That realistic Tarantino dialogue.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    It spells ISHTAR.

  • OMNI

    It was the proper T that threw me off. Good job!

  • tOmy`

    Hey, that’s the script of the porn parody!

    I am being honest. I was wondering who the Ice Girl was.

  • Variant

    oh GODDDDD

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    The proper T was just a couple of song writers who came to Ishtar to break into show business. So how did it wind up in the middle of a joke? Rich Beatty, Mike Hoffman, and Jay Adjani…Ishtar in the Bag.

    *Also you might not have seen it, but your brain did.

  • Brandon Michael

    More lube for the tube

  • Bubs

    Here’s a short list of some things which were cut from the film before it was put in theaters:

    *Early interviews mentioned Captain Boomerang’s racism and sexism, but the movie is light on examples of such behavior, which have apparently been deleted.

    *Early cuts reportedly included a passing reference to Slipknot being a serial rapist,

    *Joker and Harley get into an argument after he rescues her in the hijacked helicopter. In early cuts he reportedly pushes her out to kill her,

    *Killer Croc is a cannibal.

    What a fun summer movie with a good heart… for the whole family! Serial rapist!

  • Punanistorm

    Racism, sexism, rape AND cannibalism?

    Now that’s a director with a vision!

  • Travis Rockatansky Capistrant

    shes hid it in some crack. shes had it in there for years.

    oh my sweet lord! the language of these two!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Really hard to wash off.

  • Mark Bisone

    HitB will review a TV show? Has the world gone mad?

    Having watched “Stranger Things” myself, I absolutely understand why it’s a perfectly valid exception (though, I am a little curious as to why “Ash vs. Evil Dead” wasn’t). The only frustrating thing about that show is Madam Bisone’s draconian law against watching more than one episode per week. What is this, 1982?

    Also, I’m a little upset that these “Duffer Brothers” guys were born the year I got my first handjob. They have no right to do it this well.

  • Bubs

    Just do what I do. Watch it all when she’s not around and then pretend you’re seeing it for the first time.

    But yes, I’m also not particularly surprised that Stranger Things finally inspired them to review a TV show. Or if they’re just doing it because they actually ARE getting paid by Netflix… well… I guess I hope they have an awesome weekend in Vegas.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    No fucking way. They have that actual scene in the parody? For once they’re doing these things properly! And I mean that in the most non-perverted way possible. I think her name is Killer Frost or Frostbite or something. I’d link the scene from the movie buuut…

  • Mark Bisone

    If “Stranger Things” isn’t Jay Bauman’s favorite thing ever, the world will cease to make any kind of sense at all. It would be akin to a thrice-married reality TV star running for president against a hilariously corrupt ex-First Lady. That type of shit just doesn’t happen.

  • OMNI

    After all of the GB debacle and doing some research, Paul Feig is actually OK in my book, a little smarmy but he’s done some good stuff and directed for a ton of good shows, but I’ll never forgive him for GB.

  • OMNI

    That means she killed her husband.

  • ZeroWasRight

    You mean “Previously Recorded” or short “Pre Rec” witch Rich and Jack. Would search for them on youtube.

  • Mark Bisone

    If you’ve seen the music video for “Without Me”, the decision simultaneously makes more sense AND gets even more dumberer.

  • Spoiled Ants

    It’s was supposed to be a secret message to Landis, but Mike had to ruin it.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Same here. Now I have to go to cinemAA meetings to come to terms that I took part in shaping this cinematic shitscape. It’s a long way until I can forgive myself and look my children in their unpolluted eyes.

  • Jerome Gorden

    Rape and cannibalism are not a big deal, but RACISM? What kind of fucking barbarians are you?

  • Spoiled Ants

    How come test audiences are still a thing?
    In the future, will we vote on the plot points of movies on Youtube? *
    Haven’t studios learned anything from Snakes on a Plane? *

    *(rhetorical questions)

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I think every cast member has pretty much repeated the excuse “We did it for the fans”, to explain why the movie sucks. Which brings me to the following question:

    Why do they hate the fans?

  • gregCall

    Personally I didn’t care for the movie and I’m a fan of the comic
    series. The movie seemed to be poorly paced, the chars were not true to
    the comic versions and don’t even get me started on replacing King Shark
    with Killer Croc just to save money on CGI. The movie had a LOT of
    potential but wasted it in execution. I don’t know if the blame lies
    with the studio execs, script writer/s or if the director was just
    unsuitable for this project but it seemed overly long and just
    uninteresting which is hard to imagine with a property like Suicide
    Squad. I have to say though the Mike and Jay made it sound like the
    Joker just had a cameo appearance while in truth he was on quite often
    and his role and amount of involvement stayed fairly true to the source
    material.

  • There’s no racial stereotypes ese.

  • DanceOfBirther

    All these reviews have overlooked one major question: Was the Dunkirk trailer any good?

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    I was looking forward to seeing it until I found out Tom Hardy and Gillian Jacobs were not actually in it… hack frauds!!

  • kingofmadcows

    It’s funny how months ago, before BvS, David Ayer said things like this:

    “You know, all these movies are about defeating the evil alien robot from fucking Planet X, before it destroys the world with its ticking clock. And who the fuck cares? But you do this story about struggle and isolation, and people who have been shit on that suddenly get thrown this lifeline… that’s not so bad… I like to think of this as the Comic Book Movie 2.0.”

    Evil alien robot from planet X is dumb but evil ancient sorceress from dimension X is deep.

  • HeftyJo

    I thought Clock Boy was on the Suicide Squad? Could have had campy dubstep set to the beeping alarm of his radio shack clock.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    To be fair, some movies have been saved on test screenings. It happens.

  • instant relief

    NO!

  • Karl Sarsfield

    With all these mediocre superhero films coming out, I would love to see you guys Re:View Unbreakable (2000).

  • Mangiagli1145

    Do we or do we not see Jared Leto’s ballsack?

  • Michael Syring

    you didn’t mention the random japanese woman showing up 45 minutes in and Robocop just fills us in on who she is. Or why the entire movie is the story of Will Smith walking around a city and shooting people but they pick him up at the end from his daughter’s apartment holding commically giant chains… What?

  • ZeroWasRight

    it looked good but heroforging makes me spit blood

  • ZeroWasRight

    or why this blonde chick looks exactly like the young Nina Hagen….

  • Michael Syring

    Also, I literally turned to my gf after the offending scene and said “why do we care that Harley jumped into a vat of jizz?”

  • OMNI

    Hank.. Artists are selfish and most of the time artists perform for their superiors and their peers not for the general public, i.e. us. We are but a means to an end. The professional art world is cut-throat and very competitive and Hollyweird exacerbates it 100 fold.
    Very few escape it intact….

  • OMNI

    Test screens need to happen, from a business point of view. Very few auteurs get to release a movie blind.

  • Popo Bawa

    That’s what happens when I smoke Hadredon Hash all weekend.

  • Mangiagli1145

    I’d give anything to hear batman say “I want that juicy shaq meat”.

  • bleurgh

    I can see how a lot of those choices could be both good and terrible. I really don’t know which side I’m on.

  • Some dame called the Enchantress is making a big scene downtown. Who in the DC universe do you call?

    1) Swamp Thing – A good bet if someone’s running unlicensed air boat tours of the Everglades or illegally releasing Burmese Pythons into federally protected wetland.

    2) Martian Manhunter – Only hunts men. Obviously a misogynist who hates the new Ghostbusters. Probably banned from Twitter.

    3) Superman – Gets the job done but will probably kill several thousand innocent civilians.

    4) Batman – Has a list of villains who he will leave the bat cave for. The Enchantress isn’t on it.

    5) A motley assortment of criminals who, in terms of ability, are one step up from the Mystery Men. Includes a sex clown, a man with a boomerang and Will Smith in yet another role where he’s just some put upon guy trying to do the right thing by his kids.

  • Cakefarts

    He’s the best. The best at everything.

  • tOmy`

    I believe Ayer wanted to do this, but he should have made origin movies first and then do the “sillier team up”. Or fun summer movie with a heart.

    I know I repeat myself here, but El Diablo’s origin is freaking awesome and that could have been more unique and definitely more philosophical piece out there. Surprisingly enough, even Croc would be an interesting movie to see. There is some depth into his character.

    Oh well. They are gonna reboot it in a decade or so, so we just have to sit tight.

  • tOmy`

    Yes. This.

  • tOmy`

    That scene was so poorly edited I had no clue what in the shits is even happening. The moment she started talking to her dead husband*, I just started laughing out loud.

    * She also says something like she is gonna get her revenge or something? How? What? Did Enchantress or her brother killed the husband? Who are you gonna take your revenge on?

  • tOmy`

    Hey, DC, maybe NOW was the time to drag poor Constantine into this shit. You are facing an ancient magical deity, I am pretty sure you have at least two folks in your fold who are the kinda guys who deal with this crap on daily basis.

  • tOmy`

    Because she wanted to show Joker she would die for him!

    Or was it… because she wanted to show him she would live for him? Because I am pretty sure Joker said something along those lines… I think. At that point of the movie, I got kinda distracted by the darkness slowly spreading through my body.

  • tOmy`

    However distracting that got pretty fucking fast, I can kinda get it.

    Will comes from an urban market and El Diablo is a hispanic homeboy. They both dealt with similar people before, so I assume this kinda “namecalling” is justifiable.

  • Constantine would have sorted this out in half and hour. The rest of film would have been him drinking and chain smoking.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, the “bar scene” from Suicide Squad would take two hours in this version.

  • tOmy`

    Harley Quinn + Joker, Deadshot, El Diablo and quite possibly Croc should have had their origin stories as a movie.

    The logical progression after that would be Stock Model Actress #58 finding Enchantress, thus kickstarting a movie where Viola comes up with the plan for Team X, gets Batman, Flash, Katana and Rick to catch them and put them into the jail.

    Then make a Suicide Squad movie, drop the 30 minutes of needless exposition and flashbacks and focus more on the actual story.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I would definitely take Miss Daisy for a drive.

  • Robotpals

    Superman can be killed by magic.

  • tOmy`

    “hard to imagine with a property like Suicide Squad”

    That was one of my first impressions after leaving the cinema and even the first comment I made about this… thing. Like how can you possibly make this boring and uninteresting? That’s like fucking up mashed potatoes.

  • tOmy`

    So, who was this movie for? Well, I can tell you who was in our theater:

    20yo+ people, mostly on dates or your usual “bunch of friends went to see a movie”. No kid in sight. I saw one guy with a Star Wars t-shirt and one with Batman t-shirt. Didn’t look like it draw in any apparent fans / geeks. I saw an older couple.

    The cinema was mostly dead silent. 90% of them left the very moment end credits started. Lot of frustrated faces, lot of bored faces.

    Wasn’t empty, but wasn’t packed either. A lot of reservations fell through (we asked the guy selling the tickets).

    But fair note: Czechia has kinda different market when it comes to superhero stuff.

  • Sully

    Anything’s possible when your house is on fire and your money is the source of the blaze. Of course it could mean they’re not going to waste any money trying to recut something no one wanted to watch a 2nd time to begin with *cough* BvS *cough*. Pardon me. That must’ve been a fur ball.

    If Justice League and Wonder Woman fail next year, you can officially stick a fork in this franchise.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Which Batman?

  • tOmy`

    Just in case you were wondering how punk is the punk soundtrack to this punk movie, well, the album is available on Amazon. Consists of such punk classics of punk as:

    Sucker For Pain (with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign & X Ambassadors) [Explicit]
    by Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons

    Bohemian Rhapsody
    by Panic! At The Disco

    Purple Lamborghini [Explicit]
    by Skrillex & Rick Ross

    Heathens
    by twenty one pilots

    Geee, careful with that edge, WB.

  • OMNI

    Sounds like a bunch of intelligent people patiently sitting through a mediocre movie.

  • tOmy`

    To be completely honest, I think it was just your regular Saturday crew. The exact same kind of people were exiting Dory and whatever the fuck Bad Moms is.

    Granted, we were seeing this in 2D with subs (makes a difference, sure), but it looked like bunch of people that either said “let’s see some movie”, or “let’s see some movie before we go to a pub”.

  • Mark Bisone

    I’d recruit “Sammy the Bull” Gravano or Ted Bundy before Boomerang Man. And John Wayne Gacy is essentially a mashup of Sex Clown and Knot Guy, so sign him up too.

  • OMNI

    It’s funny that Mike described the crowd as “wierdos”. Meaning tattoos and pierced millennials and maybe some older freaks.

    I’m an elder freak as I have piercings my ears are stretched and I’m covered in mostly well done tattoos. But the younger tattoo crowd is a far cry from my generation and no I don’t shop at Hot Topic.
    My first thoughts were that Suicide Squad got there “fashion” from Hot Topic.

    So that is the American crowd that set the Box Office on fire.
    The Millennials aren’t bad kids in general, but they are very self-centered, but they like Tattoos so I’m not complaining about that since I give people Tattoos for a living.

    I guess to them I’m equally weird, but I’m an old man to the young chickens.

  • Robotpals

    Either Adam West or Bale’s deep bass dog bark.

  • tOmy`

    I actually kinda flinched when he said it. I know I talked about fashion and hipsterism of my city many times here, so I won’t repeat myself, but speaking of tattoos:

    You would like it here, they are becoming more and more popular for some reason. I am starting to run out of non-inked friends. I noticed a big surge in those minimalist tattoos. I suspect it is because of the amount of people who know have a tattoo gun (my friends got one as a freaking wedding gift).

    And: “My first thoughts were that Suicide Squad got there “fashion” from Hot Topic.” Pretty much. Fun stuff is how people call it “punk”. Oh boy, dark times for punks in US I guess. I dunno what’s so punk about MC cut on El Diablo’s jacket, or… jackets, actually, but punk it is not.

  • OMNI

    Bale had more of a gravely whine.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I mean if you watch his interviews he thinks exactly that.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s gonna be an even bigger cheese fest then something like Saving Private Ryan.

  • LameSame

    Oh dear God… they’re using a Panic! At The Disco “Bohemian Rhapsody” cover? I didn’t even know that shit existed. I’m about to vomit all over my keybooaero;airjfweal;rjirbt. waegif;bv.we8uy.h;fewifsdn;rfowearuf/

  • tOmy`

    I am kinda scared to listen to that cover (I bailed on the movie soon enough, so I heard like first minute or so).

    That could be the moment when P!ATD will finally be beyond repair for me. Which is a shame, because there was a potential. Kinda.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Damn, can’t do neither.

  • Brian Levine

    Bizarro would take her down and only kill two or three people tops.

  • Spoiled Ants

    That was probably in the 80’s when test audiences didn’t consist of republicans and mall-people.

  • Bizarro always has been a class act.

  • LameSame

    After vomiting, I actually listened to it on Youtube… I’m usually not big on them, but it’s a pretty serviceable cover. If anything, it’s a little by-the-books, but they by no means ruin it.

    In fact: surprisingly, it was one of the more faithful covers I’ve heard. They actually use the same exact stereo separation as Queen’s version, interestingly.

  • Like Icare

    You are confusing story and plot.
    Also a character useful within the story and a character used as a plot device.

    Hawkeye is a character useless in a fight with anything resistant to pointy sticks.
    Hawkeye can be used as a plot device to give a pep talk or to suddenly have a family so that everyone can go to his place for no actual reason – but it will seem logical because it feels like character development (it is not) though it is so as much as Batman having on him a shark repellent spray.

    Black Widow is a character useless in a fight with anything not made of glass. Unless she has a gun with endless ammo.
    Black Widow can be used as a plot device to remove Hulk from the next movie where he would kill everyone.
    When did she suddenly turn into Dian Fossey for giant green mutant primates? Wasn’t she trying to fuck Captain America in the last movie?
    STOP ASKING PERFECTLY LOGICAL QUESTIONS!!!

    In comparison, Jimmy Olsen is a useless character. Period.
    Jimmy Olsen can be used to show that bad guys are bad by taking a bullet to the head.

    All those characters serve the plot.
    They do things because someone has to do them for the plot to move further.
    Neither their character nor their actions are serving the story.

    Pep talk by Hawkeye could have just as well been given by ANY other character. Characters could even give themselves a pep talk.
    Would it alter the story OR plot who it was that gave the talk?
    Nope!
    Would it alter the story or plot if no one needed the talk?
    Nope!

    Similarly, Hulk could just as well fuck off for feeling bad after tearing up half the city fighting Iron Man.
    Would it make a difference to the plot or the story? Nope!

    Why is it so?
    Well… cause MCU characters that actually move the story and plot are either villains, Iron Man or Nick Fury.

    Oh, and Darcy.
    Who was such a useless character she came out on the other side and became the prime mover.

  • Like Icare

    You misspelled ppinion.

  • Like Icare

    If anything, it’s a little by-the-books, but they by no means ruin it.

    They actually use the same exactly stereo separation as Queen’s version, interestingly.

    That’s why they used it.
    It’s even cheaper than the real thing.
    They aren’t made of money, you know. They run a businnessss.

  • LameSame

    haha – my thoughts exactly!

  • LameSame

    Yeah, he’s a good guy, that Bizarro. Criminally misunderstood. (tee-hee, “criminally”…)

  • Was I the only one who found it hilarious to see El Diablo’s family life where he looked like a Dia del meurto monster? I thought those scenes would have been more effective if he wasn’t tattooed to look like a skeleton with a scythe on his forehead.

  • Jean-François Martel

    when i heard about the stereotypical way the characters are treated in the movie i died a little bit inside… I was rooting for this movie, I’m still gonna see it though, but my expectations are way low. I was praying WB wouldn’t fuck it up and they did, bad apparently.

  • Jean-François Martel

    someone please do a remix of Mike’s Uhh Uhh Uhh

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    I went into the cinema having carefully avoided reading or hearing any reviews, so I could judge it in a vacuum. I left at the end thinking “6 out of 10”. There was no moment that made me physically cringe (except for the bizarre choice to have an extended flashback recapping scenes that happened only 40 minutes earlier in the movie); and all the acting was fine. At the time I didn’t even notice any plot holes. There were only two things that I considered major negatives at the moment I was watching it.

    1) The way the entire first twenty minutes was structured, with the characters being introduced by that woman basically reading out their HR files to those two other guys. (Who were those two other guys supposed to be? The audience?) I found myself thinking “Gosh, the poor film-makers must really have struggled trying to find a way to set up so many characters…” And when you find yourself watching a film and immediately pitying the film-makers, it’s not a good sign.

    2) The whole Enchantress “I’m gonna destroy the world now!” thing comes out of nowhere, and begins way way too early in the film. When that started happening, I was so surprised I literally looked at my watch, and was thinking to myself “What? They can’t just start destroying the whole world right now. We’re only 25 minutes into a two-hour movie! This has to be some sort of B-plot they’ll clear up as their first mission, and then go after the Joker for the final Act.” But nope.

    Mulling it over afterwards, I thought of the contrast to the X-Men movies. In those movies you likewise have a tonne of new characters to introduce, but rather than the film starting with a 20-minute boardroom scene where Patrick Stewart simply reads the audience a biography of each character and their powers, and then immediately cut to Magneto charging a superweapon that the X-men have to spend the remaining three quarters of the movie slogging their way towards… You know, the story focuses more on a protagonist we can relate to, and then the remaining ensemble is introduced to us more organically as they are introduced to this protagonist. They could have done the same thing here: rather than having a narrator blandly TELL the audience why the USA needs a Suicide Squad, how about SHOW us an opening scene where relatable human being Rick Flag and a special forces team are on a covert mission to Iran or North Korea, but the mission fails, the team gets killed and only he escapes, and the USA tries to deny all involvement. Rick is then picked to head up this new team, and as each of the characters is introduced to him we get their back stories at that point. Then for the second act they go on their first deniable mission to some other rogue country, and that’s how they bond as a team, but then as a result of something that happens on that mission Enchantress is triggered to break free and go on her quest for world destruction – and the final act showdown between the rest of the team and her is more meaningful because by this point they all know her and each other.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    I noticed that too: it was a packed cinema but for almost the entire movie the audience sat there in silence. There was a small ripple of laughter when Batman punched Harley Quinn in her face, and I think two other ripples of laughter at things Crocodile-Man said towards the end.

    By the way, good on you for using the word “Czechia”. I’ve always thought that sounds better than “Czech Republic”, and have been trying to get it into more mainstream usage in Britain.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Mike is a relic from the 80s. This said as someone that has never had any interest in piercings and/or tattoos. (Needles? no thanks!)

  • Hank_Henshaw

    True. Most of the examples I got in my head are from the 80s. Maybe one or two from the 90s.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    So, what you are saying is they are liars?

    No. No! It can’t be. NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo…

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Judging by the Comic Con footage… the Justice League is gonna get whoopassed by their nemesis.

  • I was hoping for “and Kevin Bacon” at the end of that list of knots.

  • ikdks

    I can’t really disagree with anything they said in this review, but I still maintain there’s a visceral aspect to film that sometimes slips by them.

  • jc20s

    The prison guard is the one that gave Harley Quinn the cell phone, which allowed her to get in touch with the Joker.

    Otherwise, yes, this review is pretty spot on.

  • MichaelKz

    So, it seems like the original cut of Suicide Squad would have been just fine.

  • Thanatos

    Suicide Squad was doomed from the start, and anyone with a brain could have told you why. Who do people with even casual comic book knowledge know out of the members of the squad? Joker? Yes. Harley? Yes. Killer Croc? Probably. And…….that’s it. The rest of them are B-grade or even C-grade randoms pulled from the casts of other heroes. Did you know Captain Boomerang is a Flash villain? Can you name even TWO Flash villains?

    Guardians of the Galaxy knew the limit of protagonist introductions without wasting so much time establishing backstory and motivation as to utterly kill pacing and make the audience want to kill themselves is about five people, which, surprise surprise, is how many new main protagonists they introduced, and Rocket Raccoon/Groot even sort of share a story.

    Suicide Squad? They’ve got what? Seven new characters? NINE? So they skimped on the intros and backstories and motivations, and the movie fucking sucked. People who even liked the Suicide Squad before this only like Suicide Squad for the characters, characters that they were introduced to AS PART OF THE CANON OF OTHER HEROES. Two shitty Superman movies ain’t going to cut it as the requisite preknowledge.

    And knowing the Joker is the only character most people walking into the theater cared about and barely including him in the story? They deserve every bit of criticism for this shit show.

  • Thanatos

    Bust em, Papa!

  • Thanatos

    He was the Executive Producer. To say he was uninvolved is not correct.

  • Thanatos

    “The RedBox Cut”

  • Thanatos

    Opinions explained for 30 minutes always trump one line comment opinions.

  • Thanatos

    It’s like a remake of Hogan’s Heroes, if you were German.

  • Thanatos

    affect and effect are interchangeable 90% of the time.

  • Thanatos

    You haven’t taught them anything then, clearly!

  • Thanatos

    The unfortunate reality is while his son is gone, Suicide Squad will be around forever.

  • Kyle James Youldon

    Never said he wasn’t involved, just said he didn’t make the movie.

  • Thanatos

    Did you know someone actually sued the makers of Suicide Squad in the UK for false advertising because of how many scenes there were of the Joker in the trailer (most of which were deleted) making you think he’s an actual character in the movie instead of a bit cameo?

    I hope he wins.

  • Kyle James Youldon

    Back when I wasn’t totally into comics I knew who Captain Boomerang was out of the sheer outlandishness. Also Captain Boomerang, Captain Cold, Gorilla Grodd, The Turtle, its not too hard to name Flash villains, they’re all silly.

  • Thanatos

    If they’re afraid of being blamed….why don’t they like….go to the press? The Joker has highjacked national television broadcasts a dozen times before to broadcast crazy stuff, there’s no way the Large Black Woman could prevent the news from getting out, and then what? The government’s fucked.

  • Thanatos

    She might as well have yelled out “Ahhhh after 10,000 years I’m free! It’s time to conquer Earth!”

  • Thanatos

    Maybe that was the editor who cut that in, suggesting he’s getting revenge on the DC executives

  • Thanatos

    *record scratch*

  • Thanatos

    One of the funniest scenes in comic book history I’ve always felt was in a crossover when Joker flips out at Red Skull when he figures out he’s been working with a Nazi.

  • Thanatos

    Calling the Mystery Men would have made for a better movie, actually.

  • Thanatos

    You’re talking about normal Superman, not the New Completely Original DCUUUUU Superman. He could like, blow a hole in her chest with heat vision from a mile away.

  • Thanatos

    Absolutely no one who isn’t into comics knows who The Turtle is.

  • Kyle James Youldon

    Excuse you, The Turtle is THE STAPLE of The Flash’s lore.

  • instant relief

    No! NO NO!!!

  • Robotpals

    I’ve finally figured out my problem with the DC cinematic universe. It’s Superman. Even in the BvS monstrosity, Batman was good enough that I want to see more, even Wonder Woman was okay (the introduction of the rest of the League via snapchat was perhaps the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen), but they really really really ruined Superman. What should be the center of the whole story (see Captain America) is a complete, depressing, discordant mess. Is he a good guy? People keep holding candlelight vigils for his loss, but I never saw him as the world-saving hero he was supposed to be. Is that part of the commentary, that people are attracted to power? I doubt the Snyder at the helm is as thoughtful as that. I just watched Suicide Squad last night. The worldwide mourning for Superman just played false, especially when the ultimate villain of that movie ends up KILLING FEWER PEOPLE THAN SUPERMAN!

  • Robotpals

    I defied the HitB recommendations this time and went to see Suicide Squad last night. It… wasn’t terrible. Man of Steel and BvS, those were terrible. This wasn’t. There were a lot of scenes that looked like they were missing scenes (“Did we miss the first four seasons of this movie?”), it never really got out of montage mode, and it suffers from BBLS (Big Blue Laser Syndrome), but it honestly wasn’t terrible. The acting was pretty good, and none of the characters felt like a betrayal. It ended up being a long trailer for the standalone Batman movie (Justice League can suck an MCU) because I am most interested in Ben Affleck’s Batman now. I’m hoping they take a page from the original ORIGINAL Batman movie and have 4 popular villains team up to defeat Batman. My wish is for Leto Joker (surprising me in his not-terribleness) and Arkham inspired depictions of Penguin, Riddler, and Two Face (replacing the almost always heroic now Catwoman).

  • durhay

    It should have ended when he slammed his phone down at the bar.
    /all heads asplode

  • junkevil

    The 1960s Batman movie was actually fun though, and DC has little to no interest in making something fun. Can you even imagine a modern Batman flick having Batman hanging from a ladder off the Bat-copter punching a shark and asking Robin for the Bat-Shark Repellent? What about a scene where Batfleck runs a comically oversized bomb up and down a pier and laments about how some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb?

    Also, Why’d they have to make Amanda Waller thin?

  • junkevil

    Yeah, I can name a lot of Flashes Rogues gallery. Captain Cold, captain Boomerang, Gorilla Grodd, Mirror Master, Trickster 1 and 2, Heat wave, The Top, The turtle, Professor Zoom and Zoom, Savatar, Girder, I could go all day!

  • DeColonise

    Great review and discussion guys.

  • Thanatos

    Sounds like the powers you get from beating the bosses of a Megaman game.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I’d add Deadshot to the list, I think. Maybe. Characters that have been in the Arkham video games.

    My biggest issue with this movie is similar to Mike and Jay where I think there was a good movie there and they tore it to shreds.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    I could do the same, but I assume like me you read a lot of comic books or watch the cartoons, movies, or TV shows.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    For the album, the movie did indeed have the real version, though.

  • Variant

    Since I attempted to challenge them on both MoS and BvS (thinking, it couldn’t have been THAT bad) what you’re saying kinda makes me want to watch this. Even though I know that for the third time in a row I’ll probably be saying “I can’t believe I didn’t listen to them again. This is awful” It’s interesting though these days movies are messes for like completely different reasons than they ever have been before. All that committee corporate thinking and misuse of budget really makes me scratch my head going “So… what were they going for exactly?” – and sometimes that’s an interesting kind of bad. Generally speaking though every time Mike and Jay felt superhero/action fatigue, I was right along with them. Eventually I just feel like “things” are being thrown at me just to see if they stick. MoS and BvS were so long and by the end I just wanted it to be over.

  • Yezzir!

    That’s you’re ppinion!!!!!!!

  • Joe Syxpac

    Oddly, the Kevin Bacon is a nautical knot.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Suicide Squad is something they should make AFTER they established interest in the DC Universe beyond Batman/Superman. They need to keep their stories small for now. A Joker/Harley movie could have been used as a vehicle to ease the audience into the “darker” DC universe. Or even a Deadshot movie. Make Will carry the whole thing with one or two introductions of other characters we might see later.

  • junkevil

    Yeah, You’re not going to find many people familiar with the material who would argue that most of the Rogues Gallery aren’t incredibly silly. But they’re fun. The thing I worry about with Flash in the DCCU is that they’re going to try to make all of this serious. That’s going to be the worst version of the Flash ever.

  • Zach Beal

    Prolly mentioned before, but the actor Ike B, the prison guard who joker meets in the gambling place, joker gives him the phone, who then gives it to Harley

  • Mike Magnum

    I thought the whole idea of competition. Was so that if competitor is doing something better than you. You try learn from them and try to make your product better. I think that what Crisis on Infinite Earths was somewhat about. Especially with Superman. The Pre-Crisis Superman was a loner. Who didn’t have anyone to about being Superman. The Post-Crisis Superman had his parents and later he had his wife Lois. Which for me was an Improvement. WB tries to do everything different that Marvel. And they totally suck at it. Also i got sick of Brooding Superhero who sit and cry about there none-girlfriends since Dark Knight Rises.

  • Thanatos

    Only Flash villain you’d see if they make a Flash movie is one of the evil anti-Flashes.

  • Thanatos

    Deadshot movie would be boring as hell. He’s really just a generic sniper guy who should show up in the background.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Since he’s so generic that leaves a lot open to interpretation without really getting under the skin of fanboys. An average family man, good father, good husband, who every once in a while dresses up like a comic book character and kills someone. You could have a lot of fun with that.

  • jic1

    Emphasis on “better”.

  • Duke

    Has there ever been a situation where a studio attempted to tweak a movie, switched it all around, and had the result be better?

  • sigaba

    Wrath of Khan: Studio made the good choice of firing Roddenberry before they even rolled camera. Roddenberry’s original script was for the crew to go to 1963 and make sure that JFK was assassinated, because time continuum.

    Back to the Future: Originally Zemeckis and Gale wanted an atom bomb test to send Marty back in time. The studio also had a hand in firing the original Marty.

    American History X: Studio made the good choice of firing Tony Kaye and letting Ed Norton recut it.

    WarGames: Studio fired Martin Brest after two weeks of shooting because he wanted the movie to be hardcore gritty and he thought it was more interesting if the audience believed David Lightman was actually a spy.

    Doug Liman in Bourne Identity and everything after that: he’s kinda legendary for having to be sidelined and babysat.

  • Otto T

    <3 Fuck Yew pew pew pew

  • Clownbomb

    Haven’t seen Suicide Squad, but the exploding neck capsule inspired me to recommend Freerunner (2011) for Wheel of the Worst. How staggeringly bad is the screenwriting? It took the inclusion of a super computer hacker to track down the bad guy who has drugged and fitted a bunch of runners with exploding neck collars. Fortunately, the bad guy stamped the exploding collars with HIS COMPANY LOGO, and the computer genius was able to find it on Google. I would have had no idea this film existed but they were shooting it on the roof outside my office window.

  • sigaba

    Is there gonna be a Sausage Party HITB?

  • Mark Bisone

    Wrath of Khan was particularly an example of a studio bringing order to chaos. They handed Meyer ten different, shitty scripts and demanded he cobble them into something viable in a week. They understood when to cock the pistol and knew exactly which head to aim it at, resulting in the best Star Trek film to date.

  • Robotpals

    They could also just make a movie version of Batman: Arkham Asylum (not shot for shot but concept-wise). Do a tight little story in one (large and varied) location in the place of one night, simple plot, almost realtime. DCEU needs some art. If Affleck is in charge, this could actually happen and be good.

  • Jerome Gorden

    “You try to learn from them and try to make your product better.”

    That applies only to human beings, not Sony CEOs.

  • Variant

    Ahem. No one? All right I’ll say it. Star Wars.

  • Variant

    I think he meant it endearingly. Mike and Jay are obviously not incredibly in touch with any perceivably “edgy” crowds (I can’t think of a better word right now, I’m so sorry), and I like to think they’re playing themselves on a lot of the things they say when referring to the younger generation. I tend to think they’re not as salty as they come off. I had to hear Rich Evans on a Pre Rec stream as I attempted to take a break between work and relax – “Rap music is just people rapping over samples of music that are already good.” I’m a Hip Hop producer who has basically sunk all my time, money, effort, and health into making the best possible music I can, completely out of samples – so I took it a little personally. But then his next sentence was “The Doors are amazing” and while I won’t sit here and shame The Doors I’ll just say they’re really not my thing, and also I wouldn’t ever sample them. It’s too boring to sample. Oops I mean everyone likes different things. See? He struck a chord, now I’m being a dick. Sorry to all The Doors fans. But as someone who listens to all of what I take from, and absorb it fully, when someone I look up to seems to take a slight at my profession as a whole I get a little offended. But I don’t look up to Rich Evans for his music knowledge. I just wanna hear that fucko laugh every now and then.

  • Variant

    I’ve always felt bad for Punk heads as there’s always been an obnoxious confusion between all things goth, punk, emo, metal, and every other thing that involves makeup and loud music. Yeah I’m sure I left out 12,000 things, I’m part of the problem. But I have a friend from high school who was very avid about his oldschool punk, and I saw something in that stuff. It wasn’t for ME, but I respected the raw energy and expression that was there. That soundtrack list makes my brain puke because it takes like the worst of every pop genre right now and tries to sell it as something it isn’t.

  • Variant

    I think that was the big problem with me. When I saw the trailer I was just confused. I was like “why are we doing this now?” It felt out of order. Not like, the scenes in the movie, the existence of the movie. I still don’t know the names of any of the characters. They could’ve tried to sell the movie better by actually introducing some of them in the trailer – but then again I guess they didn’t do that in the movie either did they? So yeah nevermind. My main point is that all I’ve seen is Jared Leto’s face EVERYWHERE – looking like an Avenged Sevenfold band member… and then I hear he’s hardly even in the movie? So what else is in the movie? They probably should’ve let me onto that if they wanted me to be interested. I’m not gonna see a movie where all they tried to sell was something that wasn’t even in it.

  • tOmy`

    Punk had always a massive divide in itself as well. Just imagine the possibilities:

    If you were to grow up as a punker during the heydays, your “style” would still be very much a case of where you were born. There are significant differences between LA scene, Seattle scene, NYC scene and UK scene. Not to even mention that some punks grew up on Ramones, some grew up on Sonic Youth, some grew up on Manchester sound and some grew up on fucking Sum 41.*

    As for the soundtrack… holy fuck. It is a massproduced crap WB apparently came up with just to sell more shit (they already have like 4 SS-themed clips to go with songs) and the soundtrack already hit #1 in UK charts (first soundtrack in 18 months to do so).

    I wouldn’t mind this whole shenanigan if they weren’t selling it as a “punk soundtrack” for our “punk movie”. There is not a single punk song on it. It’s a fucking disgrace.

    *Similar, and even more obvious, divide can be found in electronic genres. Everyone listening to “dance music” is not some glowstick mofo with pixie wings, who is ODing on MDMA.

  • Variant

    I feel the same way about what happened to Hip Hop, and how it is now perceived in the wrong context and just thrown into the category of “rap music”. There’s an entire culture there that extends even beyond the music that people are ignoring, and I’m privvy to how in the 80s there was actually a slight nod of understanding between Hip Hoppers and Punk enthusiasts as they both came from being misunderstood and did graffiti as a form of expression. And I agree with you 100% about the dance music shit, I grew up listening to a lot of British artists, you know the more extravagant stuff – Warp Records and all that. I won’t get too into it, but I tried DJing for awhile around here – and the music selection was just awful. I felt like I was on an alien planet. Made of plastic, glowsticks, and boobs. And skrallax. Whatever that is.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Can’t wait until 15 years from now when they do an Alien Saga style DVD release for these movies and we get to see the Alien 3 style fuck ups that are clearly happening here.

  • OMNI

    To me Mike is a wierdo, so Stoklassa and I are even.
    Jay, Mike and Rich are just good ol American suburban dudes that move to the big city to seek fame and fortune…..

  • Variant

    I think though that if a “weirdo” is true to form, he can’t be lumped in with other weirdos. Sure, we all might fit into the category of “outcast” but that’s only because of a denial from the average consensus of what is “normal”. I’m sure a ton of people think I’m a fucking weirdo. Better than being fucking boring.

  • ikdks

    Suicide Squad is still in theaters.

    And all days, too, not two showings in a broom closet.

  • Joe

    Where’s my establishing shot?!?
    HOW DO I KNOW WHERE I AM?!?!?!?!?

  • Joe

    Add every knot in the world is just 6 loops away from it.

  • Joe

    BTW the show he was trying to think of was “The Killing”. Most people wouldn’t call it a great show like Mike says, and the woman on the show was the wife in “World War Z” but I don’t know if that’s the billing he would’ve pulled for her.

  • Joe

    Presumably she knows this is what made him all white and so jumping in demonstrated her committing to him because it made her all white and presumably hurt a lot or affected her in some way. I think the poetic interpretation of the scene was. “He tricks her into jumping into a painful slow death, then he realizes he has feelings for her and jumps in with her, embracing as they endure the pain together, the joker already hardened to it so able to help her get out of the vat safely.” Though there are 2 thoughts there:
    1. They did a shit job explaining that
    2. I can’t imagine any version of them getting out of that vat that wouldn’t be really awkward to watch. Nobody gets out of pools without ladders gracefully.

  • Joe

    Indiana Jones: “Part time”

  • Joe

    I agree with your argument, I think the distinction for Jay is that it’s Batman. But I think being an equal opportunity puncher is probably more respectful to women than not, it just rubs Jay the wrong way when the character is supposed to be a symbol of integrity or something. (Though BvS kinda killed that)

    It’s actually kinda a pet peeve, because like on the show daredevil there were tons of fights but the first time there was a woman henchman to fight was when there was a woman hero to fight her back. It’s like bad guys can fight good women, good women can fight bad women, but a good guy can never fight a bad woman because… I know we want to support equality, but come on, it’s a woman, they are creatures to be coddled.

    It’s a pet peeve for me because it doesn’t makes sense. It’s happenstance who the henchmen/villians are, so that women bad people never come to fight until there is a woman hero to fight makes it seem like at evil lair before they send out the people they do a demographic analysis or something.

  • Joe

    Jay brought it up. So while I thought it was fine and not worth discussion, that Jay had a problem with it makes it a valid enough thing to bring up in a discussion.

    Also, how does discussing something brought up in a video in the discussion section for that video make you an “insecure weirdo” but announcing your superiority to such people make you “not at all insecure”?

  • Joe

    When the world blows up, right before everybody everywhere dies they all go “dis was prolly will smith’s fault”. I’m sure the people on the air craft carrier all said that before dying.

  • Joe

    Better line: “I lost my family… I ain’t gonna lose my friends”
    Captain Boomerang (quietly to killer croc or somebody): “He… thinks we’re friends?”
    *Killer Croc shrugs*

    Does the same thing but gets a little humor and isn’t so on the nose. The Killer Croc shrug might be a bit much but I think you get the idea.

  • Joe

    It was the best of the 3 DC films, so far the thinnest kid at fat camp.

    I’m like Mike, I didn’t hate it, it just had problems. The pitch is actually kinda cool: “Ragtag team of colorful villians are assembled and then advance through a city like they advance through a building in the Raid/Dredd or a train in Snowpiercer.”

  • Joe

    I remember soon after 9/11 somebody used “Fortunate Son” in the background of a patriotic car commercial editing out every line except “Oooh, that Red, White, and Blue”.

    Commercial/trailer makers don’t care what the song is actually about.

  • Joe

    Great, you just started a flame war.

  • Joe

    Apparently he recorded way way way more than is in the final film.

  • Joe

    IMO Harley Quinn makes the most sense if she was there because the Joker was in some way the bad guy. Then her relationship could be useful, and then after the fact she’s just kinda grandfathered into the group.

    But your comparison is good, and since we give ScarJo a pass I can kinda give Harley one for the same reason.

  • Joe

    At least Rich and Moby can be happy because Moby is once again getting Royalty checks after the latest Bourne movie.

  • Joe

    Haven’t read it all but I upvote anybody takes the time to really go into detail about their thoughts.

  • Joe

    Joss Whedon needs to stop being like that so I can like him.

    That time he scolded an interviewer for interviewing the creator of Girls was particularly bad.

    I really want to like you Joss, don’t do stuff like that please. And this movie wasn’t sexist or racist. People of both sexes and all races have various personalities and levels of agency. Like Mike said that is like the definition of equality.

  • Joe

    They are the perfect demographic. And if you can put yourself in that mindset it’s not that bad. I bet a lot of them will admit that it isn’t smart but just that they thought it was “fun” which is fine. I try not to be bitter at young people just because they still know what fun feels like, not saying you are, but just sharing that such a thing I have to do often because the only joy I know comes from Dan Ackroyd’s vodka and doctors say I shouldn’t drink on my meds, but the power of pain compels me.

  • bleurgh

    I’ve since revised my grade to a 5/10. It’s a flawed and very mixed film that could have been great, but instead all added up to be average and I have no desire to ever watch it again.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I thought it was dumb when Jay brought it up, too.

    Listen, you can make it about my “superiority” or me trying to look like I’m better than everyone, but I think talking about whether or not it’s ok for Batman to punch Harley Quinn – no matter what side you fall on – is a dumb conversation, and a waste of time. It’s a stupid thing to be talking about coming out of this horrible movie. It’s the last thing about this film that should be provoking paragraphs worth of discussion. If you think that’s all a result of some guy on the internet trying to look superior, then have it your way.

    Also I have no idea what “not at all insecure” is a quote of.

  • Variant

    Believe me… you don’t want to see what’s around you. Ignorance is bliss.

  • Joe

    It’s ok to think it’s a dumb conversation, but I think you can appreciate why calling people talking about it “insecure weirdos” can come off as self righteous. I do actually agree it’s a dumb thing to talk about, but something about calling people talking about it “insecure weirdos” rubbed me the wrong way.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    My wording was deliberately snarky, and a little facetious. However, yeah, I do think it’s kind of weird how this topic in particular brings people out of the woodwork willing to jump through any number of hoops to rationalize something. It ain’t the first time it’s happened on here. Watching people dedicate paragraph after paragraph to righting it with themselves seems kind of weird and insecure to me personally.

  • Joe

    Fair enough. I think on the internet people get very defensive about these things because they anticipate others getting offended, when really it’s probably more clickbait and stuff driving the notion that X or Y might be offensive than any real amount of the population. Anticipating and preemptively responding to others getting offended over something truly is dumb though, I try not to do it myself but I get how it can happen to people.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    And then Captain Flag should have turned directly to the camera, and said “I guess that’s why they call it Suicide Squad, huh?”

  • Variant

    The Killing is pretty great. I wanna say that in each season the story itself (like what the mystery ends up being) isn’t all that interesting so much as the performances and how the characters deal with these events.

  • Variant

    There are no establishing shots… IN HELL!!!!

  • gopher00000

    Hey there, RLM…I’m sorry I’m late to comment on this review, but I felt compelled to answer a question that was asked by.. Jay? in the review…”Why do they keep hiring these people who have directed previous films with ‘vision’ if the studio doesn’t allow them to express that vision? My cynical answer which I believe is correct if you think like a WB executive, is this – it’s BECAUSE they’ve had a previous success/vision in a known film that they were hired. Thin about it – you’re in charge of greenlighting a DC movie…who are you going to pick to do it? Spielberg? Fuck no, we’re on a budget, and we can never afford him, plus what if it bombs? That means an additional $30 million in the hole for the director’s salary. Will we hire some unknown? Fuck no, that means some nerd will post “Who the fuck is ____ ? Never heaqrd of him. Got a bad feeling about this” and it will just snowball from there, generating bad hype before the movie has even started filming. Nope. The answer is “Let’s hire so-and-so who made ‘XXXXX’, everyone liked this and we can hire him for peanuts, plus we can hype it as ‘this guy knows what he’s doing.’ It makes sense if you think like a studio c*cksucker who makes these decision on a minimal risk / budgetary reason. This is what I think, and if you consider it it’s completely logical. Sorry for the long post.

  • ikdks

    Suicide Squad still has four showings at my local first run theater; 1, 4, 7 and 10.

    I’m calling it. Budding cult classic. You old men just don’t get those ‘weirdoes’ in the theaters.

    I predict they’ll release multiple edits like Brazil or Blade Runner, because the fan base will be there to buys them.

    And what will the sequel look like when they actually make the movie that they intend to make. The nature of the Suicide Squad concept is that the characters are replaceable, even if they can’t get the full cast, they can just dig around the DC vault for dusty intellectual property they can slap on the latest hot actor or actress. They could make 50 of these, they could be like Bond movies.

    I mean if they’re still selling 4 shows a day, it must have turned a pretty penny. More will come.

  • netcrave

    Just checked the box office because I was curious and you are right, the movie made 675 Million so far, so there’s definitely going to be a sequel. 😀

  • I started watching this movie out of curiosity and I just had to stop. I couldn’t take it. Nothing made any sense. Like the movie starts right off with “we’re assembling a team!” and it just flips right through these characters like a pamphlet – and there’s just no reason for any of it. Why these people? Surely they could hire highly trained killers that aren’t insane criminals? I feel like the entire concept of the movie “we need these people to help fight superdudes” is based on the meta reality that in comic-book form these characters are treated as pseudo-supervillains. But from a more grounded perspective – they’re just people who are good at a couple things. Surely there’s more of those out there?

  • Ehhhh… i don’t know if good returns in the theater automatically means “budding cult classic”. More like “forgettable but watchable to average joe shmoe”. Because when you think about it – I’m sure most people just went to see it once. And they probably either thought it was cool, thought it was shitty, or shrugged and asked “What are next?” I just don’t see this movie having a profound impact on anyone other than a few people who REALLY wanted to see a Suicide Squad movie. Personally I hadn’t heard of Suicide Squad until I heard this movie was being made. I knew who Harley Quinn was but that’s it. Granted I’m no comic book buff, but sometimes I like to read up on the weird stories and characters I missed out on as a kid when I was busy buying video games (mostly via wikipedia summaries, but hey I’m interested).

  • ikdks

    But clearly they didn’t. If people would have seen it once and then said what’s next, it would have been in theaters for three weeks and been replaced. But it was in theaters for months.

    There must have been people going to see it for it to have lasted that long. It wasn’t sitting there playing to empty theaters.

    People are just way too smug about this kind of stuff. They think if I don’t see it, it’s not there. But guess what, people are different. I don’t get Tyler Perry, but I acknowledge that there are people that do. Its arrogant to think that only your opinion is valid.

  • No that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m merely suggesting that perhaps there’s been an overall more consistent flow of viewers, like perhaps it stands out just enough that eventually after exhausting other options people see it and think “let’s give that a try why not”, and if they don’t completely hate it then they aren’t going to go out of their way to tell other people not to see it. They might even forget about it. Which brings me to my next point – I just don’t see it being overall *memorable* for people. Like do you think people who like the Transformers movies remember any specific moments from them other than a few up close scenes of Megan Fox’s ass? No, they just went and saw it, maybe even thought it was awesome, but I bet you they aren’t holding tightly to memories of their favorite scenes. I’m just saying I think for something to be a cult classic people would have to be really into that thing – it has nothing to do with what I like. It has more to do with what people are looking for, and did this deliver? Or did it just sit somewhere in the middle? Maybe it wasn’t all that they imagined but they just thought it was “pretty good”. I’m more reflecting on how sometimes things get released, are massively consumed, generally favored, but then forgotten about later on. It does in fact happen, that’s all I’m saying.

  • Comrade Jenkem

    The best description of the entire movie came from the character Rick Flag.

    “12 pounds of sh!t in a 10 pound bag.”

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