Half in the Bag: Star Wars – The Force Awakens

December 20, 20154,206 Comments

It’s episode 100 of Half in the Bag! Mike, Jay, and their new friend Kris Kringle celebrate this momentous event by participating in a normal episode and see the newest Star Warts movie. Lightsabers!


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • dollar store cashier wife

    FIRST![ORDER]

  • James Earl Jones

    YESS-S-S-S-S-S!

  • Willie Simpson

    Horray!

  • Evertale

    “Fly me to the moon
    Let me play among the stars”…

    That’s no moon. That’s RICH EVANS!

  • OH MY GORN!

  • caye74

    I feel the disturbance in the … Oh wait, it’s a review! go go go

  • I log in just to see the clickbait thread before I start cooking, and I see THIS instead. Whelp, that’s 40 minutes gone.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I predicted the reactions of Mike and Rich but I did not expected Jay to be so enamored with TFA.

  • bassbait

    fuckin new it’d be out quick. That’s why I went to see it so soon. Just to get it out of the way so I could watch this video! Alright, time to watch.

  • genetunneygent

    Thank fuck. Now it’s really christmas!

  • caye74

    Started watching, but I need to comment before I hit continue, I just realized I was looking forward to this review as much as I did to actual movie

    #lifewastedwithredlettermedia

  • Avery

    I was trying to think of a “It’s like poetry. It rhymes.” joke on the trip home from the theater but I gave up.

  • Dhul Qarnayn

    jesus, mike really looks like shit

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’d look like shit too if I was to discuss a forgettable movie at 4am.

    hey-ooo!

  • bassbait

    I thought I was the ONLY one who thought that Harrison Ford seemed to give a shit in this movie. I was sad that he got killed off because I’d like to see Han Solo a bit more than he was in this film. He works as a grumpy old man in this film, as opposed to Indiana Jones and the Part Time.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Finally some on to tell me what to think.

  • James King

    Totally looking forward to watching this later tonight!

  • A. N. Kievsky

    The end of an era – this is where RLM and I part ways. We started together with the reviews for Episodes 1-3, but they seem to have succumbed to the flurry of remakes, reboots, sequels and prequels that Hollywood is loving so much.
    I expected a 90 minute review about how Episode 7 is exactly like the original Star Wars – but apparently that’s a non-issue now.
    I guess it finally rhymes, huh? Copies always rhyme.

  • bassbait

    are you saying that you’re done with RLM because they don’t agree with your opinion on remake/reboot/sequels/prequels?

  • bassbait

    “millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.”

    “Oh no!!! The RLM don’t hate the new Star Wars film!!! What are the hardcore prequel haters going to do without Mike, our hero, to bash a film just to satisfy our biases!!!”

  • Marvin Falz

    I don’t know. Maybe read a book or something. Or take a walk at the beach. Eat a fruit cup. I don’t know.

    #Assburgers

  • Mr Flibble

    Mike’s smile when he said he loved it was so sweet.

  • Trace

    TFA S-U-C-K-E-D. You guys should have waited to review this movie to let the shittiness of it really sink in. I want to see Mr. Plinkett tear TFA apart… starting with Finn Finn Binks.

  • Tit bags!

  • Ja! JA! Now, you understand!

  • bassbait

    Finn was my favorite part.

  • ChristianLC

    i dont get what they like about the characters lol, we have a new jar jar binks in the fin character. Rey is unidimensional and boring the perfect girl who does nothing wrong

  • bassbait

    don’t think. That’s an order, private!

  • bassbait

    the TFA haters’ overconfidence is their weakness.

  • Reuben Isuck Andsodoyou

    WOW – I’m gonna super annoyed at your badly thought out comment because it bares no effect on how I enjoy a film I love.

  • Domo

    Mike and Susan had a baby and it’s – dun dun dun!

    Kris Kringle!

  • Milton Dammers

    The movie had issues with pacing, it’s sense of geography and occasionally it’s tone. But it’s new cast were great, and the ties to the original films were perfectly balanced. And Harrison Ford had taken his meds.

  • Evertale

    IN COURT!

  • Domo

    I think Harrison Ford was so happy because he knew he didn’t have to do this franchise anymore.

  • bassbait

    I don’t understand how Finn, a character with depth, intelligence, a drive to fight, and an interesting angle of insider information, is at all comparable to Jar Jar. What, because they’re both comic relief? So is Han Solo the new Jar Jar too? Is Chewbacca?

    I consider Finn’s character to be like a slightly more benevolent Bruce Campbell, “Ash” type of character. A reluctant coward who puts on a facade of being brave/cool but inside would rather run from the fight than be the hero, but ends up dragged into being the hero anyways, and owns up to it by the end. That is GOOD characterization. I know you may have forgotten what that looks like after 30 years and 3 prequel films. But Finn is a good character.

  • bassbait

    fooooooooooooooooooooooooooorce ghooooooooooooooost

  • pete smith

    Carrie Fisher sounds and looks like Blue Iris from stern show on those clips.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    People are so thirsty for meaning and good movies they are unwilling to see things as they are – they have convinced themselves that, because this is different from episodes 1-3, it must be amazing.
    No, this is too little too late. Send it back to 1999 where we could have cared.

  • Milton Dammers

    Finn has more character depth than Han freaking Solo. Seriously.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    Enjoy your illusionary enjoyment. Just don’t put those sunglasses on. OBEY. REPRODUCE. CONSUME.

  • bassbait

    are you saying that JJ blinded us with his force mind-blocking abilities? Because that is the only explanation other than that you’re just wrong.

  • ChristianLC

    it is not a good characterization when a lifetime soldier goes from being a stormtrooper to going full comedic relief : YEAH BRO SHOOT DAT SHIP DOWN WOOHOO in the space of 3 minutes and become best friend with the other guy for no reason

  • LukasWormTheThird

    All the cool kids had seen it already. Sigh.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    You must love that it rhymes so much 🙂

  • bassbait

    lifetime soldier? He explains that he became a coward within his first DAY of being involved in battle. It makes sense and it also helps drive the plot forward so it is a non-issue even if it was contrived. He’s not “full comedic relief” either. And yes, people can become friends with people quickly, especially in times of trouble. I didn’t find that to be poor characterization. If anything that’s a pacing problem but it didn’t bother me at all.

  • We’re the coolest of hipsters, man, we’re not seeing it at all.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    If good taste was widespread, it wouldn’t exist – it needs to be exceptional for it to be good.
    This movie is the equivalent of a happy meal that contains no worms – you guys are happy because it’s not rancid.

  • bassbait

    the smiley of bitter sarcasm. It seems that you have been dearly hurt by a film not being that good in your personal taste. I suggest just not caring, like the rest of us. Now where’s my popcorn tub? I gotta shovel food into my face.

  • Marvin Falz

    That is so me! I’m so above and beyond anything, that I’m not even writing in this comment zone. Wait.

  • ChristianLC

    He says his birth name is FN078956 or something like that seems he was trained from birth. He has a bumbly personnality pretty much like jar jar and only exists in the movie as comedic relief (didnt find him really funny) and as a relationship with rey. The way that relationship was portrayed also was absurd : from the first time i have looked at you tiype of dialogue reminded me of the sand line from ep2.

  • You so meta. You wanna be our new hipster king?

  • And I turned it off after 9 minutes.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    I have waited sinde the 1980s to finally watch a 73 year old Han Solo! It’s everything I’ve wanted in a Star Wars movie and more!

  • Marvin Falz

    Being king not hipster enuff!

  • Adzl33t

    I was not disappointed nor impressed, the movie is Competent fanservice with sequelbaiting, not as great as Mad Max Fury Road, but like Marvel movies fun enough, but eh I was more raised on the Airbender tv show as my Joseph Campbell epic fix, WHEN YOU FRAUDS GONNA REVIEW M NIGHTS’ SCLOCK

    I thought Guardians of the Galaxy was a better sci fi action movie just because it was different, also Tales from Borderlands had a better plot

  • Marvin Falz

    Really?

  • When the spoiler warning popped up.

  • bassbait

    True, good taste only applies to opinions that are in the minority. Which is why Citizen Kane is garbage, and Howard the Duck is a masterpiece.

  • Jabba’s ghost left the VCR?

  • A. N. Kievsky

    Why are people watching a competent fanservice movie? Do they want sequels, prequels, reboots and remakes? Cause that’s how you get sequels, prequels, reboots and remakes.

  • Armanti

    what woke up R2D2? it was very ex-machina

  • LukasWormTheThird

    And there is so few of those

  • Marvin Falz

    Good. *relieved* I was like “what? did RLM sell out or what’s going on?”

  • Adzl33t

    Archer reference? I rather watch some new stuff than these reboots.

  • Domo

    You’re not writing. You’re typing.

    Get your motherfucking facts straight!

  • bassbait

    he was trained from birth but you can be trained and then the training goes out the window once you’re actually deployed. People can have dramatic shifts in perspective when faced with something like seeing the death of a friend, which is completely reasonable. Training is not the same as “lifetime soldier”. He has a heart, he just didn’t get to use it until that moment.

    It’s alright if you didn’t find him funny but he’s much more of a character than Jar Jar, and “bumbly” is not how I’d describe him. In over his head sure, but not bumbly.

  • Marvin Falz

    I’m so above and beyond I’m using my mind to force-type. Ha!

  • A. N. Kievsky

    I only care because I dropped my beer and am too fat and disabled to pick it up.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Guardians of the galaxy was different in the same way Anal Olympics #17 was different from Anal Olympics #16. Just because you liked it more then other generic marvel movies doesn’t mean it was more original or daring

    #Fuck the internet’s boner for GotG

  • Another little ego trip for the feminists.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    There’s a difference between a necessary condition and a sufficient condition. Look it up.

  • bassbait

    I dropped my bear in the movie theater. I later managed to catch it and tame it, but I understand now why people thought the theater going experience was unbearable.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    The sound of bank accounts fattening

  • Nah, I just wanna avoid all spoilers and in-depth discussion until after I’ve seen it.

  • bassbait

    the difference being that people can disagree with you without being seen as dumb?

  • ChristianLC

    i get that you can have a perspective shift and you are right but going from being asked to kill villagers to going full comedic relief in a spand of a couple of minutes felt rushed like a lot of plot points / character development in the movie. Anyhow this is not serious anyway its just a star wars movie

  • Adzl33t

    I’m just comparing that movie to Star Wars, Star Wars didn’t had a jizz gag

    And there was at least some risk with a tree and a Raccoon along with a 70s soundtrack, any Tales from the Borderlands is better than Star Wars 7 and Guardians of the Galaxy

  • bassbait

    spoiler alert a whole galaxy comes on Han Solo.

  • Domo

    Is that German for I love you?

    Because I love you, too!

  • A. N. Kievsky

    It was not a sequel nor prequel nor remake nor reboot. However, it was a superhero movie, which is the 5th category of modern Hollywood cancer.

  • bassbait

    like I said it’s not full comic relief. I don’t know where you’re getting that from. “full comic relief” is C-3PO in the original trilogy.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Max Von Sydow had it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    there’s nothing to be discussed in depth here pal.

    #it rhymed.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    Dropbears only exist here in Australia, don’t make shit up.

  • ChristianLC

    Review was pretty bad tbh you didnt discuss character development and pacing. Let me ask you the same question from the phantom menace review. Please describe rey without talking of her job or what she looks like. She was just too perfect for me. Luke as a lead was interesting in a new hope because he was conflicted and learning from his experiences. She just seemed perfect in every way in this

  • bassbait

    Asstralia*

  • A. N. Kievsky

    She didn’t even step in poop. 0/10

  • Adzl33t

    No it’s a comic adaptation of scifi antiheroes

  • bassbait

    having to deal with a gift that she doesn’t understand or want, but learning to use it in a time of peril and developing enough skill to realize it’s worth. Having to fight a much more well equipped bad-guy who just incapacitated one of the only friends she had. I can go on for a while. She had a character besides flat monotone discussion of the taxation of trade routes.

  • Ross Carruthers

    can you do a spoiler free version?

  • Stahp ruining the movie for me, you monster!

  • genetunneygent

    I thought all Stormtroopers were clones?

  • A. N. Kievsky

    Huckleberry Finn has more character depth than Han Solo. Finn doesn’t.

  • caye74

    Oh my gooooooooood, they loved it, they really loved it!

    What I loved is that they filmed it straight after midnight premier at 4am, that’s dedication.

    What I did not love is that they sounded really like I did straight after premier, it was not really review, it felt more as a first impression, but maybe they were going for it this time.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    *Straya, cunt!

  • Jeff Who Lives At Home

    People actually thought there was a chance Mike might not like this movie? The same Mike that enjoyed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? What is the last big budget schlock movie he didn’t enjoy, Superman?

  • bassbait

    I’m only a cunt on the weekends.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Long time viewers predicted it.What I didn’t expected was how much would Jay ended up defending it.

    #give me a medal

  • You have quite the talent for languages. My compliments. ❤

  • BitchFists

    so no real plinkett review for TFA?

  • ChristianLC

    Thats not a character though you just described what she did in the movie. its like if i said han solo is a character because he flys the falcon and shoots at people during battles. She seemed to understand her gift pretty well from the beginning using the force to manipulate the storm trooper or beating a trained sith. I agree she is better than discussing trade routes but anything would be.

  • genetunneygent

    Love Rich’s new accent and filthy talk. Let’s have him keep this new persona and get rid of the old loser character. Hurray for New Rich! Down with Rich Classic!

  • Adzl33t

    NNNOOOO, Clone Troopers and Stormtroopers are different, it’s not that hard to understand, Stormtroopers were NEVER called Clones at the original trilogy.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Shocking

  • A. N. Kievsky

    Did you know you can save money with Kodak printers?

  • I’m gonna try spinning my spoilers in your butthole, that sounds like a good trick!

  • bassbait

    no that is a character. When Mike presented that question. He was saying “role in the movie” as in “this person is the hero”. He was saying don’t describe what they look like, or what role they play as characters, or what job they have. Han Solo flies ships – not a character. Han Solo doesn’t want to be involved but is in it for the money – definitely a CHARACTER. That’s the distinguishing point. I was describing her emotional state in the film – having to deal with a gift that she doesn’t want or understand, but growing to use it. The first time the gift shows up is in the force vision sequence where she’s suddenly overwhelmed with visions of the past and the future. That’s characterization. That’s her being forced (pun intended) to confront something more. She just wants to get home at first. That’s a character. Comfortable in her life, not interested in fighting a bigger battle, and not really able to comprehend much more than her small, meager life on Jakku. That’s character. Lack of character is “Qui Gon Jinn is the master. Qui Gon Jinn is played by Liam Neeson. Qui Gon Jinn beats up the bad guy”.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    Don’t try to fix it. Lucas ruined it already.

  • bassbait

    joke’s on you, you can never spoil my butthole.

  • Adzl33t

    A smart resilent survivor who’s stuck in the past with abandonment issues, compassionate even to droids, and has a sense of heroics

    Not hard for me to understand her character

  • I can try!

  • impiro

    I have to say with I’m a bit disappointed with the lack of a more critical analysis of
    the movie. Honestly, if I have to take the Plinkett reviews seriously, TFA also
    had a lot of problems. No, not the same as the prequels, but it had problems
    that I actually felt were worthy of Plinkett analysis. Mainly the pacing, the
    tone and the fan service were pretty big problems. But right now it seems that
    RLM has turned a blind eye to a lot of these flaws.

    First of all, not too much fan service Jay? I really felt that that was what this movie
    mostly consisted of, fan service. It constantly winks to the audience.
    Especially after the first half it gets really obnoxious. It made the movie
    really self-aware of the fact that it was a star wars movie. They broke the
    fourth wall multiple times just for fan service. One example was the jedi mind
    trick. Yes it was a really funny moment and a great reference, but as such it sort
    of broke the fourth wall. Because Rey apparently also has seen A New Hope, isn’t
    that great?

    This fan service was also really tied in with the comedy. Star Wars was never an actioncomedy. TFA was absolutely an action comedy, on par with the Marvel movies. Every time there was any tension in the plot it was dissolved by humorous quips and
    banter. It was funny that Mike liked the Poe and Kylo conversation, because I
    felt that this really broke the tone of scene. A lot of the comedy bits really
    mess with the tone of the movie. It’s really hard for me to believe that the
    same person who complained about tone in the RotS now completely ignore the
    weird tonal shifts in TFA.

    But the biggest problem was the pacing. The Pacing was so quick that you never
    had a second to reflect on anything that happened. The characters had no time
    to legitimately connect therefore the portrayed connections felt really forced.
    The connections between Finn and Poe and between Finn and Rey felt incredibly forced.They bonded in that 1 action sequence? Ok then. Also Han died but nobody had time to care about it. In fact, RLM said in their review that they had no idea
    about the whole political situation, didn’t they? Those are important elements
    that add to stakes and tension of the story, it would have added weight to it.
    The movie really needed more of those kind of moments were it sets things up.
    TFA took as little time as possible to set up anything at all, whether it is plot development or character development. All of it had to be crammed up in the
    passing of action sequences. This movie felt like it was in a rush, like the
    movie itself was just overexcited at being Star Wars. It needed to calm the
    fuck down.

    Also, after all the complaining about plot in the plinked reviews, TFA gets a
    pass? Really? Ok. I will not even go into detail on this because there was so
    much convenience in the plot that it speaks for itself. I honestly can’t
    believe that RLM just ignored all of it. They didn’t even joke about R2D2’s profound
    robot depression and ending up being a nice Dues Ex Machina. Wow.

    RLM seemed really aware that this movie was going to be a Disney product
    beforehand, but it feels like they kind of fell for it in the end? Just like
    most of the people currently raving about it. Because this movie was basically
    a Marvel movie in terms of plot and dialogue to appeal to mass audience. I
    really hope that they will go see it again, like Mike advised.

  • No.

  • ChristianLC

    so every character is a good character if the character has any justifications for his/her actions got it. i think there is more to it than that

  • LukasWormTheThird

    It’s not exactly a wrong definition either though.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Maybe.

  • That joke seems forced.

  • I don’t know. Can you repeat the question?

  • ChristianLC

    So she is the good hero / she is friendly. she is pretty undimensional and can do no wrong. The abandonment issues were neither explained nor utilised as a weakness in the movie so they were ultimately pointless

  • AlessandroHA

    It´s takes lot of time to do so..
    Also Half in the bag is a quick review for juts released movies. To make a Plinkett´s review it takes a deeper analisys, probably they will watch it many times so they cand do so (maybe after DVD release).

  • LukasWormTheThird

    How many pickles can you fit in your mouth?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yeah. To see the alternative cut of this video find that little red button with an X on it at the top right of your internet browser and click it.

  • Grackene

    NOPE

  • bassbait

    I feel as though the only thing that was out of place in TFA was the super mega death star, specifically how it destroys multiple planets at once, and how it gets destroyed at the end. Those are the two major parts of the film that lost me a bit. Aside from that, the film was surprisingly subdued. The action scenes were just “the first order is gonna come fuck us up with a couple of tie fighters, let’s make a run for it”. That is tense, that is actual good action because it’s not flipping people around at 800 miles an hour, it’s not a fist-fight that goes on for 10 minutes. It’s the characters being heavily outmatched but having enough of a chance to try to make it out alive. In general, the film was really good at being both a story and a part of a bigger universe, because it was a small part. It wasn’t “let’s fly to this planet then this planet then this planet” on repeat forever. It wasn’t 3 endings all happening at once. It was a simple story that followed a simple path, and the action scenes were driven by the story. When they meet Han Solo, it’s his story colliding with the main story and causing a minor action scene that doesn’t affect the plot overall *much*, but works because it adds to Han’s character, adds to the pacing of the film, and offers a bit more in the way of explaining how the first order is tracking them.

  • ChristianLC

    Best comment in this whole discussion so far

  • I never properly tested that, wanna assist me?

  • #Bodyshaming #ElderlyShaming

  • Jeff Who Lives At Home

    They are unabashedly fans of genre films, they tend to enjoy big budget movies with lots of explosions and sci-fi trappings. I’m sure in time they’ll look at the movie with a more critical eye, but this idea that the RLM guys are a tough crowd is not rooted in any reality. They are fanboys at heart.

  • Domo

    You look kinda weird in that Santa Hat.

    #RipTornShaming

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I wanna assist you the whole night, sweetpea.

  • Adzl33t

    Not ever character need to be overly explained, but direct action with a sense agency

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Fantastic comment but I think you should not watch HiTB if you expect to see them get really critical and in depth on any movie really.

  • luvs2pwge

    Phantom Menace is better

  • Adzl33t

    Not every character have to be badass antiheroes like a crappy 90s comic, she has same amount of complexities as Luke Sywalker

  • bassbait

    a good character is literally only a character that you care about. I cared about her a little, and I cared about Finn quite a bit. Same with Han, and not only because he’s from the previous films. He worked as a character. Chewie also worked as a character in this film surprisingly. I think the weakest link of a character was Maz, because she was hyped up and then it didn’t pay off. I would have preferred a bit more “yoda” out of her.

    A bad character is one that I just can’t give a fuck about. For example – I do not care at all about the character of Batman in The Dark Knight. He is a shitty character because nothing about him interests me in that particular film. He may have a lot to him, but nothing about him resonates. Rey is a character that isn’t a complete retread of Anakin or Luke and so she works as a new perspective on the main Jedi protagonist. Discovering the force on her own, without some old guy training her was a very compelling aspect of the film for me. That’s all it takes for me to say that she is a good character. It was *interesting* to me.

  • bassbait

    unless they absolutely hated it, and that’s actually a lot of fun. Also when it’s a very well established classic like Robocop. But new movies that they’ve only seen once? Definitely not gonna get a plinkett review in 2 days.

  • luvs2pwge

    Ya, from their point of view it may be too soon after the event to do an in-depth Plinkett. Toke me a long time to digest everything wrong with episode III so give it some time.

  • bassbait

    the TFA haters are almost as bad as the prequel fanboys. In either case, it’s entirely reactionary “I feel personally offended because a lot of people like a movie that I didn’t care for”.

    Give in to your anger

  • ChristianLC

    well agree to disagree then. the new characters didnt work for me i was feeling bored and not caring during the last fight. anyway we could debate this forever and it seems we wont agree!

  • luvs2pwge

    TFA is piece of poope

  • Adzl33t

    Fix what? The Stormtrooper were not called clones. Why do people call them clones?

  • impiro

    True, I know that. I guess I was just really hoping for a more fair analysis. Because people are really overpraising this movie so far. In fact, I will go as far as saying that it feels like TPM all over again. I cannot believe that everyone just completely ignores the flaws.

  • luvs2pwge

    I did not say TFA is bad I said Phantom Menace was better. Why dont you lick my hairy anus.

  • bassbait

    yea but at least accept that despite whether or not you liked the characters, there’s more to discuss with these characters than the completely flat characters in the prequels. We wouldn’t have a debate of this kind on Phantom Menace characters.

  • ChristianLC

    never claimed that she needed to be an anti hero lol. i just explained why she isnt complex, you didnt respond to my argument at all

  • impiro

    Very true! I kind of forgot that this was actually reviewed directly after they saw it. From that perspective, I think I may have been a little to demanding.

  • bassbait

    because you don’t wipe.

  • bassbait

    for the record I’ll just say that I’d give this film an 8/10. Not perfect, and not almost perfect. But really great. And to clarify my opinion even further, I’d give Jedi a 7, Star Wars (1977) a 9, and Empire a 9.5 or a 10.

  • bassbait

    and the prequels get a 3. All of them.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    She’s a fair cop.

  • Adzl33t

    She seem fine to me, and I did explained it early, maybe I just can watch movies more visually than you, which is why I can understand Mad Max Fury Road better than most people

  • Right Wired

    Happy 100th!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    lowering standards. It’s something that happended to Mike and Jay after doing years of HiTB and being constantly exposed to bottom of the barrel in what hollywood has to offer. When you compliment a movie for being better then A.Sandler/M.Bay joint or the prequels you reveal you have no expectations beyond competency.Which is sad.

  • Adzl33t

    Rey was less whiny than Luke, so I like her better than Luke

  • Right Wired

    Lighten up, Francis. It’s part 1 of 3.

  • bassbait

    I actually have a lot more respect for movies than I show, but I have a lot of indifference that comes across as cynicism, and cynicism that comes across as hate. I give most movies somewhere between a 3 and a 7. 8 means that I’d call this movie an exceptionally good film but I can acknowledge things about it that I wasn’t big on. Fury Road is also a 9 for the record.

  • ChristianLC
  • bassbait

    I don’t think they lowered their standards. I think they matured as audience members. And to be honest I think movies have improved lately in a lot of ways too.

  • capitandelespacio

    Lightsabers.

  • ChristianLC

    yeah never said they were worse than the prequels but we shouldnt judge movies from the lowest point lol. The movie was better than the prequels which isnt saying much. It was a marvel movie with lightsabers, pretty much like all movies these days

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Come again? Aren’t you the person who constantly ragged about the sad state of modern movies(post TDK which is like your Jack and Jill ironically enough)

  • Dr. Schnabel von Rom

    I agree with your criticisms, especially the part about pacing in the character development. I didn’t have too much of a problem with all the fan service, though, in a reboot of a mammoth series like Star Wars that aims at being much more like the original trilogy than the prequels, as much was expected. Other than that I think TFA does most things right as a Star Wars movie, and it’s the Star Wars movie we should have had 15 years ago instead of the shitty prequels.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Here’s my scale
    A new hope-8/10
    Empire strikes back-9/10
    Return of The Jedi-7/10
    The Phantom Menace-3/10
    Attack of The Clones-2/10
    Revenge of The Sith-4/10
    The Force Awakens-6/10

  • Domo

    I hope there’s a news report sometime in the future about a guided climbing expedition getting lost on Mount Everest, and being magically saved by a Captain Phasma doll.

    For some reason!

  • I get that it’s a blend of plotlines, that’s why the end spaceship battle was wasted, they should’ve used a dash of Return of The Jedi and instead of another Death Star, they could’ve had the battle inside the initial Super Star Destroyer with a hardcore space battle happening around them with Poe Dameron kicking so much ass in his cool as shit X-Wing (with his silly helmet).

  • bassbait

    I’ve seen a few of the Marvel movies and I’d say this was better than the ones I saw, but granted I haven’t seen one since like 2011 or so. I think this is in line with the original Star Wars film but in a 21st century sense. It carries over the spirit. Namely, it carries over that “one foot in exploitation” aspect that I think is imperative to why Star Wars works. Just like how Mad Max is partially realistic, partially fantasy, partially fun and funny and campy and partially gritty and dark and brutal, Star Wars was always meant to be the same type of series before Jedi fucked it up. Darth Vader chokes a guy to death in the first scene of Star Wars. He cuts off Luke’s arm in Empire. We don’t get that kind of relentless brutality in many films lately, as far as I can tell. Kylo Ren means business and he demonstrates it immediately. There’s a dark weight to it that reminds me of darker, low budget films of the 70’s. But made into a version of that which can appeal to a wider audience. I thought the film was great because it didn’t soften shit up just to appeal to soccer moms. There was more physical energy to the film than most modern movies, there was more emotional energy even if on a flat basis of “this bad guy really means business”. I wouldn’t call this film a classic but it reminds me of the classic action movies like Robocop, where it balances the elements of grit and camp in such a way that the two work together. You don’t have to agree on if it works but I say it’s in the spirit of the original vision of Star Wars and that’s what matters most. It isn’t a modern dumb action movie with Star Wars slapped onto it. It’s a Star Wars movie with elements of modern dumb action movies put into it rather sparingly (namely the destruction of the death star, which is my biggest complaint about the movie).

  • Adzl33t

    You just complain about her being too nice, nice is a character trait, maybe you want her to break someone neck like Man of Steel

  • caye74

    This review was sponsored by Disney, they clearly forgot to edit out the footage supporting this claim

  • impiro

    Fully agree, I really hopeed RLM would have pointed this out.

  • Domo
  • Link to kickstarter please.

  • Kirke

    CONFIRMED FOR SANTA!!

  • Mike looks half-asleep in this.

  • Kirke

    I agree. Better than any of the prequels, worse than any of the originals.

  • bassbait

    the sad state of modern movies for me, not for them. I can acknowledge that movies are putting more effort into shit now than they were back in like 1997 to 2001 or so. Movies were soooo shitty back then. The Dark Knight kicked off an era that bothers me which is the whole “sensory overload” thing. But I can see the perspective that those types of movies are improving. Think of it this way – Fury Road might not have been good if it was released in 2012. In 2015, there were 2 movies I was excited to see, over 0 movies between 2012 and 2014 (aside from indie films).

    What I’m saying is that I think films are starting to get their shit together but that doesn’t mean movies are up my alley yet. It just means that maybe next year I’ll have 3 movies to look forward to instead of 2. And maybe the year after that I’ll have 5 or 6. I’m recognizing a trend that there are now exceptions to the “big dumb action movies that always suck” rule, and they’re increasing in number.

    And no TDK is not my Jack and Jill. I have a lot of complaints but I can hardly name any films that impacted me on a deep, personal level in a negative way. Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill were that a long time ago but I’ve softened my stance on them after my apathy mechanism kicked in.

  • Yeah, he’s really upping his game.

  • Marvin Falz

    So he looks like he often sounds on commentary tracks.

  • only 42 minutes? you hack frauds

  • yellowface

    This Kris Kringle character looks weirdly similar to that embarrassing guy who jerked the R5D4 droid off. Hmm, I wonder what’s going on here.

  • bassbait

    I can see swapping Jedi and Force Awakens. I think TFA was more well constructed but Jedi has more elements that will stick in my brain

    And good for picking Empire as the best. Anyone who says otherwise just kinda weirds me out, unless they say New Hope is number 1.

  • caye74

    #clickbaitfrauds

  • Kirke

    For me, personally, it felt that Kylo killed Han becuase after having his ass handed back to him by someone with 0 prior experience in The Force, they needed to remind us is a legitimate threat.
    That or he’s pulling a Snape.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Right. 6/10 is merely decent for me. To reiterate what one user said on previous SW comment thread-why is everyone going apeshit on this film? It’s merely serviceable.

  • ChristianLC

    well they did try to make it way more funny than the original trilogy (and in my opinion failed).

  • LukasWormTheThird

    The ability of two grown men to enjoy a piece of entertainment is seriously bothersome to me. Hmmm,

  • Kirke

    Now that you mention it!!! Maybe it’s his son? Maybe The Droiddick is his father??

  • Lt Hurwitz

    It’s working, it’s working!

  • bassbait

    I can see that perspective but I think there’s more to this film than that. Like I’ve said before, I feel like it captured the spirit of the original vision of Star Wars, while being able to update it with a 21st century film-making mindset. The parts of it that were truly Star Wars in nature had me loving it, and the parts that were 21st century film-making were excusable though sometimes got a little out of hand for my tastes.

  • yellowface

    The plot thickens…

  • bassbait

    if you don’t want to watch two grown men enjoy a piece of entertainment, just watch Pre-rec.

  • Domo

    I need to be black out drunk in order to enjoy it with them.

    Knowing people might slip from my own vomit makes it that much more satisfying.

  • Marvin Falz

    Someone please call a doctor and send them to RLM, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA, Earth.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Psst. I am beng sacra-tistic! tee hee.

  • bassbait

    I’ll take any excuse to make an obvious joke. Even when I actually think Pre-rec is alright.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    There is very few things that vomit makes unsatisfying.

    What?!

  • impiro
  • Reuben Isuck Andsodoyou

    Yes, because you don’t like it so obviously it’s hack consumerist bullshit. I’d be very careful about spouting out such rhetoric, unless you’re the one person on the Internet who happens hate every single piece of mainstream culture.

  • Kirke

    Because hype. Literally. Prequels were so bad that at this point competence is seen as a second coming.
    And to be honest I felt that this film lacked competence in some parts anyway.
    (Was I the only one that felt that it was too damn loud? When people weren’t shouting and running and jumping, everything was drowning in music)

  • Bhazor

    “Its that thing I remember! It’s just like that thing I saw when I was a kid!”

  • bassbait

    sincerely though that was not the case with me and I thought it was a great movie. I liked the prequels when I saw them, and don’t have any harsh feelings towards them. This is not a redemption of the series for me, it’s just a continuation of a storyline that I was interested in seeing, and it worked. I get that a lot of people love it because of hype but I think that people who enjoy this movie deserve more credit. Not everyone is a prequel hater who just wants an excuse to like Star Wars again.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Repetition is their job, their job, repetition; it’s their job.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’s JJ. You gotta ELECTRIFY EVERYTHING…which is why the movie had tone and pacing issues.

  • The Ghost

    This review was very fun to watch. I laughed many times.

    And I’m glad you guys enjoyed the film.

    I’ve been talking about Star Wars on here for about 48 hours, though. Time for a break. I’m off to read the New York Times. Including their review of Star Wars.

  • Derek Ring

    ‘Star Warts’ is one of the best typos ever.

  • Bhazor

    Big Black Wet Ass #1 10/10

    It really is the best in the series.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Rich Evans “I fucking Meh Star Wars”

    Jay “Yipee”

    Mark Stokasa “I’m 8 years old again!”

  • Hm… That actually sounds legit.

  • impiro

    It is, he seems way more grounded in his opinion about TFA.

  • bassbait

    I guess I should explain a bit more about my position on big dumb modern action movies – I don’t think they’re absolute garbage or anything. I happen to love Raiders of the Lost Ark. Problem is, I don’t need to see it with 50 different coats of paint. There’s only so many times that I can see a typical all-out action fest and enjoy it. I don’t feel like I need 500 superhero movies when just 1 that’s really great is enough. I happen to love the original Terminator, which is the best film of that kind. I happen to love Raiders which is the best film of that kind. A New Hope is the best film of that kind. But when I keep watching movies that have similarities to these films that I love, it’s a diminishing returns effect. And that’s why I stopped watching modern movies was because I feel like I had already seen enough of what they were offering. Fury Road was a film that offered me something I had been wanting but never got in it’s purest form.

    The Force Awakens was a really good addition to Star Wars in that it gave me things that the other films didn’t, and that I really enjoyed. The worst elements to me were the elements that were directly lifted from A New Hope because I had already seen it, so the impact wasn’t strong anymore. Blowing up the death star was a weak point. Kylo Ren was a strong point. There’s enough things here that I was thoroughly entertained, but unlike an example like Raiders or New Hope, I can easily find enough flaws in it to not elevate it to the level of a “classic”. Some of those flaws were present in Jedi too.

    Anyways my main point is, I don’t have a distaste for modern movies because they’re dumb or boring as an isolated work, but in the context of the history of film-making, they’re redundant, and I’m sick of the redundant aspect of film-making in the past few years. And I’m starting to see *some* light shining through the grey cloud of repetition, so my outlook is cautiously optimistic, but not yet willing to start spending all my money on theater experiences every month.

  • bassbait

    BTW Star Wars is one of the topics that can get me started on a rant for EVER, so sorry if my long winded posts are bothersome. You should see how much worse it’d get if RLM reviewed a Lynch or Kubrick film.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Daisy Ridley looks like Emma Watson and Keira Knightly smushed together.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    But she can act unlike the other two.

  • James Earl Jones

    Keira Knightley can act?

  • Lt Hurwitz

    She was obviously conceived in a Hollywood lab somewhere, how is it possible to be a mix of two of the best looking people on Earth? When neither has balls.

    She’s like poetry, she rhymes.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    woops I fixed that typo now.

  • caye74

    Agreed, he makes very good points, but I don’t feel so passionate about it as he does.

    Maybe it’s his voice, he has a certain cry baby voice

  • dollar store cashier wife

    and no she can’t. I lost count how many good movies she ruined.

  • impiro
  • Anders Hass

    Flashbacks are more likely :3

  • Lt Hurwitz

    The English accent is at least 75% of her talent.

  • Domo

    No woman can act!

    I mean, their boobs just always seem to get in the way!

  • Anders Hass

    And so am I

  • Epifanes

    If that’s the Sinatra version I’ll just scoff. If that’s the Astrud Gilberto version I’m singing along. I’m hip like that.

  • James Earl Jones

    And even when they don’t, Hollywood still impair their actresses with digital boobs!
    It’s all a plot, I’m tellin’ ya.

  • I’d buy that for a dollar!

  • Yay! Good morning RLM! I’m glad I can officially like Star Wars the force awakens now. I couldn’t like it until Mike did.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    “Ugh, my breasts are down here, Mr. producer!”

  • Domo

    Digital boobs look better in 3D than regular boobs.

    Anything for the advancement of cinema.

  • Kiera Kneightley has boobs?

  • Lt Hurwitz

    She’s tip over if she did.

  • The Ghost

    I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t know what people are really expecting.

    The original Star Wars films are not amazing films. They’re merely very good and entertaining films with memorable characters.

    That’s what the Force Awakens emulated. It’s not emulating a great film series, merely a very good one. And if that’s what it’s emulating, it can only ever be “very good” and not “great.”

    And I think that’s just fine.

  • VanDerSm00th

    “There is no episode VII” -Lucas

    (4 billion dollars later)

    THE FORCE AWAKENS

  • LukasWormTheThird

    To be honest, even with a lot of assholery around, it also doesn’t mean it’s criticism-proof, while it sounds pretty OK.

  • The Ghost

    Of course, no film is criticism proof. That counts the originals as well. My point is more one of expectations. I was expecting something pretty good, because the film was looking to duplicate something that was pretty good. And that’s exactly what I got. So I’m not disappointed, nor am I amazed. Just content with a solid movie.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    It hardly surprises me that it’s polarizing given the marketing push and, you know, Star Wars.

    But I do find the endless debates tiring.

  • Would a bottle of booze fit me better? Where’s YOUR Santa Hat?

  • The Ghost

    Well that’s my point. That the reality is perhaps somewhere in the middle.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Empire is one of the best films ever made. A New Hope while inferior in every way was a landmark for cultural and technological landscape of filmmaking at the time. Their legacy is alot heftier then you give them credit for.

    TFA would be forgotten and not praised had it not been on the hype train.

  • Anders Hass

    I wish they did talk more about her :3

  • Grackene

    DUDE, yes the middle paragraph is EXACTLY how I feel. Like I got so much shit on the Message Board because I said something negative about the movie, but YES it was ALL the call back moments or moments lifted from previous movies. Anything that was new? I LOVED. I LOVED the new, hated the old, because I’ve SEEN that before. Thanks for writing it better then I could.

  • Jeff Who Lives At Home

    Not everyone finds fun what you find fun. People who disagree with you aren’t inherently joyless and miserable, they just disagree with you.

  • ChristianLC

    no i was just showing you that the trait of being friendly to droids is a trait of the mainstream friendly hero and not really an argument. its like being friendly to teddy bears, its expected. Luke wasnt friendly to robots he treated them for what they are – robots, machinery . Nowadays though those things dont pass because we want to sell bb-8 to children.

  • The Ghost

    Legacy is something different entirely. Obviously the pop culture influence of Star Wars is something that speaks for itself. I guess I come from the perspective of looking at them as films first and trying to separate anything external from how I look at them, which might be a futile endeavor.

    I might just not be as emotionally tied to this film series as many are. So I look at them differently, and it impacted my expectations for the Force Awakens.

  • bassbait

    I don’t see how that even relates to what he said at all.

  • Anthony Michael

    I assumed the map was a map to the first Jedi Temple, which is what Leia said Luke went in search of for his self imposed exile.

  • Domo

    Done!

  • That’s a good one. Very possible. That was stated.

  • The Ghost

    Of course. But that has nothing to do with what I said. You can think the Force Awakens was joyless and god bless you for doing so. I’m not at all saying “Come on guys, it was fun! Just like it and stop being a meanie!”

    I’m more saying that expressing disappointment in the fact that Jay and Mike don’t share a person’s distaste for the film is kind of silly.

  • Bhazor

    “It was a landmark for cultural and technological landscape of filmmaking at the time.”

    It really wasn’t. I mean 2001 came out 10 years earlier and had far more impressive set design and practical effects. Meanwhile Third Encounter came out months earlier and had far more interesting stuff to say and was definitely a better movie. It just wasn’t as bankable.

  • Jeff Who Lives At Home

    You haven’t “forgotten how to have fun!!!!” just because you dislike something. It’s a silly thing to say, like encouraging people to “turn their brains off.”

  • Anders Hass

    LOL

  • bassbait

    he said he thought the film was fun, and liked the review and liked that they enjoyed the film too. He didn’t say one word about people who dislike the film.

  • Like Lynch or Kubrick ever made a decent movie! Do you know anything about film?

  • Domo

    Who hired you to say all these good things about TFA, RLM?
    Tell us.
    TELL US NOW.

  • The Ghost

    Again, not what I said. Maybe it was my fault for conveying it poorly.

  • The Ghost

    Nah, I edited my original comment.

  • Grackene

    THIS!! yes. I can’t say I liked the prequels. But I wasn’t angry at them just more baffled. This new movie kinda makes me feel BLAH because it is just a remake. BLAH I’ve already seen A New Hope. I was hoping for something new. Not just competent, but new. 🙁 There were new elements in it, that I dearly loved. I did. But too MUCH “wink wink, nudge nudge” in this movie for me to enjoy it .

  • bassbait

    oops. Sorry lol. I don’t refresh because disqus fucks up really hard if I do.

  • bassbait

    I think the culprit is flying away in a jetpack. Probably with limited range.

  • Jeff Who Lives At Home

    He said “we’ve simply forgotten how to have fun at the movies,” as if people who didn’t enjoy it are deficient in some way.

  • bassbait

    Are you saying Fear and Desire wasn’t good? Gonna have to disagree there!

  • bassbait

    my computer didn’t update that he edited the comment, and I formally apologize for lacking context in regards to what you were saying.

    And I take back my apologies because I’m a butthurt internet user and am incapable of expressing any sort of admission of error.

  • Grackene

    I guess i might be a TFA hater, but I am OPEN to why I should not be. I really am. I don’t want to hate it. 😉

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m just saying how it has a place in history-for my money I’d agree that 2001 is a greater achievement but I suppose that’s within the realms of arthouse.

  • The Ghost

    That really isn’t what I meant and if you took it that way I apologize. I was more just trying to convey that sometimes I think we go into films looking for flaws and things to complain about. We can look to the past with rose-colored glasses and forgive older films of flaws while accentuating the flaws of newer ones for not measuring up in the way we thought they should.

    Maybe I just spend too much time on the internet.

  • bassbait

    well, just depends on how much the shoe-horned elements of fanservice dominated the film’s voice. I say not much at all. Sure there were winks and nods, and the main plot was derivative, but is Jedi worth hating because it too had a derivative plot? Or were the new elements (Jabba’s Palace, the emperor, etc) good enough to make it a worthwhile film? Same goes for TFA. There were elements that were unique to this film that make it worth multiple viewings for any Star Wars fan imo, but the negative aspects can be acknowledged while still enjoying the positives. Flawed but still immersive, fun, and well made.

  • No. You said you liked to rant and you disappointed by your un-ranty answer to my trolling comment. You are either very canny, or not a good ranter. 😉

  • bassbait

    I’m a great ranter. I just bait people into it, thus my screen name. I wait until they hit a point where I can start a rant, so that way I can pin the blame on them for “starting it”.

  • Oh. It looks like we are an unmovable force meeting an unmovable object. I call a draw out of respect for my fellow instigator of rants. (Bows and withdraws slowly)

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Nobody paid Mike a dime. However Mickey Mouse must have invited Jay over a party at Manhole considering how he backtracked on every single thing he’d usually criticize a movie like this for.

  • It’s the Ghost of Richmas Past.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    So it’s a christmas avatar fight now, is it. Challenge accepted.

  • bassbait

    there’s no comparison between the two because 2001 has a cultural relevance that is very far in one direction, and Star Wars has a cultural relevance that is very far in another direction. There is an intersection though, and it’s the mythos. Both films create a mythos that is epic in scope and unforgettable in nature. Regardless, the cultural landscape was heavily shaped by both films. After all, no Star Wars? No Marvel Cinematic Universe, no Avatar, no Titanic, no Matrix, etc etc etc. Ever since 1977, most films that were big cultural phenomena owe it to Star Wars for being a milestone in resonating pop culture. On the flip side, no 2001? No Star Wars. I guess it’s like comparing Elvis and The Beatles.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I rated every film based on it’s own merits. I suppose there’s things like taste,expectations,preferences that all come into play to varying degree’s but I still don’t get how TFA gets to have this definitive quality to it according to some. Way too much of TFA exists in a vacuum of a bunch of suits wanting to make money and “artists” willing to do their every bidding-much like the prequels actually. This film has no soul or creativity or a reason to exist. Story ended with ROTJ. Period.

  • Grackene

    I agree, THIS HitB really cheapens the Plinket reviews and makes them look like some fan boy bitching about minuscule things. I’m disappointed.

    RLM guys are older, perhaps they have become more tolerant with movies. They don’t feel it nessasary to rip them a new asshole anymore. It’s ok to become more laid back as you age. but if that’s the case, There will never be another Plinket review. That’s ok too. Someone else I’m sure will pick up the reins and sally forth.

  • Domo

    Dog in santa hat is the only acceptable option!

  • The Ghost

    That is definitely fair. I’m a little more emotionally tied to comic books, and obviously those films have started to feel very corporate lately and I’m starting to feel the same way about them as you do about the Force Awakens.

  • Domo

    I just wanted to do a bad Anakin Skywalker quote.

    Maybe Jay and Hayden Christensen are hanging out at the Manhole right now!

  • Grackene

    I agree that I liked Guardians of the Galaxy more then TFA. But it was a blatant rip off of an old TV show called FARSCAPE. There was nothing about the movie that was related to either comics (the 70s one or the 2008 reboot) in any way. It was FARSCAPE on the big screen. 🙂

  • Ubik

    You hacks, sell-outs, how dare you to say those good things about TFA? Better to invite Max Landis again. He has competent opinion about this lazy rehash of a movie.

  • Grackene

    my favorite part of the movie.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “I killed them. I killed them all. They’re dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women and the children, too. They’re like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them!”

    Didn’t Kylo Ren did that on Jakku? See it’s like pottery-it breaks

    http://www.geocities.ws/elblaqo/aotc-anakin37.jpg

  • Domo

    But Kylo Ren doesn’t belong in an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog.

    Therefore, you’re wrong!

  • Bhazor

    I was referring to you saying it was a landmark in the “technological landscape”

    Which it most certainly wasn’t. Again 2001 came a decade earlier and had far better technology and practical effects involved. The film of Star Wars had almost no bearing on the cult of Star Wars. It was just popular at the time and now the kids of that era are at the age where they’re now the creative leads and biggest spenders. Same with Transformers. Or TMNT. Or any one of a hundred 80s things that are still being dragged out for nostalgias sake. And we fall for it everytime.

  • JAGUART

    Hey when does the review come back to non-spoiler time?

  • Grackene

    you forget THEN turning right around to shoot his old comrades.

  • Marvin Falz

    around minute 37

  • Grackene

    But it’s not different. It’s essentially a remake. …. YOU NAILED IT, if this was released in 1999 I would not have noticed and fucking loved it. Now I’m old and bitter and hate movies….lol

  • James Earl Jones
  • Hank_Henshaw

    I wrote this somewhere else (AICN) 4 days ago:

    They will all like it to different degrees. One of them will say it was “alright”, the other will say it was “good”, and the other one will say it was “pretty damn good”. Some minor objections concerning some minor details, but that’s about it. It’ll be the boringest HitB ever.

    Did I win anything?

  • bassbait

    it was more interesting than the Everest review. So no.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Aw, goddamit!

  • bassbait

    HitB hasn’t been as compelling this year. Idk why. I mean a lot of movies coming out are actually interesting and worth talking about, but that makes HitB less entertaining as a result. I think that in every previous year, there’s been at least a few moments where I was really into the review and the side comedy stuff.

    The Battlefield Earth review was great though.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    American Ultra is up there as best ever.

  • Sakari Salonen

    I’m pretty sure Mike had some actual impact in the movie with his prequel reviews. Well done, you hacks!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Next year, there’s a new Zack Snyder movie coming out. That has the potential to make for a good HitB episode.

    Oh, and a new Roland Emmerich movie too!

  • Robert Rosenberg

    Star Wars the Next Generation.

  • bassbait

    I thought the best videos were Battlefield Earth, Unfriended/Paul Blart, and the 2015 recap. Also Mad Max just because I cared a lot about the actual movie in that case.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Unfriended/Paul Fart review was amazing.

  • bassbait

    I’m actually really excited for that. I’m so excited to see them rip into Batman Vs Superman that I almost want to actually go see it, having seen neither Man of Steel nor the latest Batman film… JUST to see how much shlock that film is capable of, and to see how much of the stupidity I can spot and laugh at before they reveal all of the flaws that they spotted.

  • bassbait

    it has one of my favorite quotes in all of HitB –

    “What’s the opposite of art?”
    “Paul Blart”.

  • bassbait

    side quote – “if those three letters in the dictionary could kill themselves, they would”

  • Ken Wannberg

    Plinkett just wanted a reboot confirmed.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “If those three letters of the alphabet could kill themselfs they would.”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ahhh you beat me to it!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    jinxed!

  • Ken Wannberg

    Destruction of creativity accomplished.

  • bassbait

    alright I’m bored and curious – everyone’s favorite HITB and why. GO!

  • Jeff Who Lives At Home

    I didn’t take offense. I think your other points were pertinent and fair. Sorry to drag this on.

  • The Ghost

    Nah mate, my bad. I should’ve thought it all out more before posting.

  • Joey

    I am sincerely surprised that you jaded fucks openly liked this. I too REALLY liked this movie, but I have a history of shitting on movies that a lot of people liked, so friends were equally surprised. It was everything I’d hoped it would be, given the corporate backing and the money it had to make.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Scream 4 and No Brand Con. I started watching from the very first HiTB in 2011 but this was the episode that won me over the series.

  • bassbait

    I’ll rewatch that one next because it’s been a while. I don’t recall it popping out with the Scream 4 bit but I do remember the No Brand Con part was funny.

  • The Ghost

    Red Tails. Because both Jay and Mike spray their diarrhea all over Oprah.

  • stryker1121

    You’re better off skipping the review til you’ve seen the movie. The whole review is filled with nut-kicking, earth shattering spoilers from hell.

  • bassbait

    for me it’s probably the 80’s robocop review, though I have so many favorites that are really close. But the 80’s robocop review is them being funny, having a three way conversation where nobody is dominating the discussion, and they actually *like* the film, with no reservations (though some more people could get thrown through glass). Plus I’ve actually *seen* Robocop.

  • RettieNow

    You all got what you wanted from this! Jar Jar Binks is dead and his grave (the planet Coruscant) has be desecrated.

  • Gavin Callaghan

    The way I interpret the political /power situation in The Force Awakens – after Return of the Jedi, instead of taking over (like the Empire would have done) , the Rebel Alliance returned power to the Senate and the Republic. After the First Order started to rise up , however, (kind of like how ISIS suddenly rose up), elements of the Rebel army started to band together again, kind of like the Marquis fighting the Cardassians in Next Generation. The Resistance is to the Republic what the Marquis was to Starfleet. A similar thing happened in Germany after WWI; all sorts of paramilitary groups and private armies were hanging around.

  • Adzl33t

    I like Max Landis fairness, maybe I just like the concept of Rey as this cool scavenger survivor, the basic the character interested me, but not executed that well, but better than say Twilight, Maria from Book of Life, Snow White and the Huntsman, or Nausicaa.

    Though if Rey a Mary sue, than Kylo Ren would be like a teenager’s Sith OC for a fanfiction.

    I wrote a scavenger lady for my script to my screenwriting class, but I had her panic while getting shot at, maybe Luke was cowardly enough.

  • Gavin Callaghan

    I also have a theory about Kylo Ren: the way he says “girl” every time he refers to Rey at the beginning. It suggests some really deep anger. Maybe he turned to the dark side because of someone he fell in love with. Perhaps she rejected him, or maybe Luke forbade him to see her because of his training.

  • TheSonicChaotix

    They should do a part two or a serious discussion, because they were really bullshitting around in this. Hell, James and Mike did a far better video, actually talking about the positives and negatives. This might be one of their worst videos.

  • John Bigbootay

    Well, I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m so Star Warsed out, I’ll put up with spoilers. Here we go….

  • bassbait

    why are so many people obsessed with seeing a Plinkett review of this movie? Plinkett reviews are all about Mike’s personal relationship with a movie. If it struck him in a way that he feels compelled to make a lengthy review of it, it’s Plinkett time. He clearly loved this movie. It would probably take at least a year or two for any of the flaws in the movie to bug him so much that he would feel a need to review it in such a way, and even then, the core of the movie works.

    Anyone ever hear the Episode 4 commentary? That was really great. Some of Plinkett’s best stuff. If he did a Plinkett commentary for ep7, that would be better than a review. Save the reviews for films that have personally affected him in a negative way, like the Next Gen films, the prequels, and maybe the Matrix sequels? I feel as though given his apparent admiration for the first Matrix, he would probably have something to say about those.

  • Prince Solomon

    This was the most dissapointing HitB since my son. Most of the points that Plinkett used to bash the prequels could be easily applied to TFA, yet Mike gives this movie a free pass for no other reason than “it felt more like the old films”.

    When he was younger and absolutely devestated with the mess that was TPM he was thinking much more critical of the new SW movies, now he is much more forgiving… a young Mike would’ve ripped TFA a new black hole!!!

  • The Ghost

    Because Mike is Stah Wah man and he has to Stah Wah so everyone knows how they’re supposed to feel about Stah Wah.

    My favorite Plinkett review is the First Contact review. And like most Plinkett reviews, it was about a film that came out years and years and years before the review. He had time to take a knife to the movie and dissect every little thing about it that annoyed him, expanding on his initial dislike of the film.

    This is different. He enjoyed this film. Maybe as time passes, he’ll notice a few things about it that are off, but nothing that will reverse his overall enjoyment of the film.

    And specific to the prequels, one of the most telling parts of the Phantom Menace review is the character descriptions. How could you do that with the Force Awakens? This time, you can actually describe all of the characters with words other than “stoic.”

  • Rammy

    I don’t think Landis is a bad guy or anything but if he didn’t have that last name he would be a nobody. All his chafing against Hollywood really reminds me of a teenager flipping his dad off while driving his friends around in the family minivan.

  • Adzl33t

    http://steamcommunity.com/app/330830/discussions/ Tales from the Borderlands was better, as I can explain it, warning spoilers for Tales from the Borderlands

  • bassbait

    the problem is that the prequels were entirely consequence free, so it felt like staring at a blank piece of paper. These films have physical weight to the action scenes, and you care about the characters because the plot has consequences. Literally, the name “The Phantom Menace” is referring to the fact that there is *no* threat in that film. We know who the bad guy is because of dramatic irony alone, but the title is derived from the fact that the Jedi don’t even know who the fuck they’re fighting. That is the definition of bad screenwriting. Imagine a Rocky film where he’s the only one in the ring, and he’s punching at the air. That’s The Phantom Menace. TFA is miles better on pure plot and weight alone, even if the characters were completely flat, it’s still good because the plot still matters, there’s still a real, perceivable threat.

  • Rammy

    Here’s a question I’ll just throw out there. Did anyone go see TFA just hoping to have fun at the movies and not for reasons equating to cultural redemption?

  • The Ghost

    Right. Whether you liked it or not, the film is still largely competent. The Phantom Menace is a very easy target because it’s highly incompetent.

  • bassbait

    I think that a lot of people want to hate TFA because the prequels set a precedent that you can make a shitty Star Wars movie, and so people find excuses to hate TFA that are very petty and ignoring the big picture. The big picture is what makes it work, and if there were no prequels and this movie was the first Star Wars movie since Jedi, it would still be seen as good, and not a disappointment.

  • The Ghost

    Yes. That person is me.

  • stryker1121

    TFA did not feel like some slapdish effort…it was lovingly crafted and filled with small details that back that point. I had my issues with the film, but comparing TFA to the prequels in any way does not compute. TFA did a good job of passing the baton to a new generation of characters, even if it relied a bit too heavily on story beats of the past. I liked it.

  • bassbait

    well the problem is that they needed to wait for the big switcheroo in the first place. until Palpatine is revealed to be the bad guy (to the characters), there are no consequences for *anything* in the prequels. And since they’re prequels, we know how it ends – it ends where A New Hope begins. There is no tension because all expectations are set in stone, they *can’t* break any rules with a series of prequels. Sequels, however, have the option of fucking with the formula, and that was the most major problem with TFA was that it didn’t fuck with the formula enough. Killing Han would have worked if they did it in Jedi, because a major character being flat murdered brutally hasn’t happened (Ben Kenobi allowed himself to be killed so that doesn’t count), but doing it now felt a little cheap especially because we already knew Harrison Ford’s wishes to kill him off previously. And the death star 3.0 thing was a mistake at least in the sense that they blew it up at the end. It would have been interesting if it never even fired, or maybe opened fire at the end. It would have been cool if it was a planet with a death star hidden on it to the point where it’s revealed in a twist that the first order base was actually a death star disguised as a planet the whole time, and that forms the climax of the movie instead of *another* trench run. It would have established the first order as much more powerful and much more brutal, and that would have had more impact. Having a sequel where the good guys lose at the end wouldn’t be too cool when playing it safe and catering to fans… but doing that also gave us Empire.

    TFA stops just short of being amazing by virtue of the fact that it played it safe in a few areas. Aside from that, it’s lightyears ahead of any of the prequels, where they had no choice but to stick to a formula because the ending is automatically set in stone.

  • bassbait

    is it fair to say that TFA is the “Star Trek: Generations” of the Star Wars series?

  • bassbait

    I had no mindset relating to the prequels when I watched this film. I came in hoping to see the story continue, and it did exactly that. I was pleased.

  • stryker1121

    Isn’t Generations considered lousy, though?

  • Prince Solomon

    i disagree. unoriginality is the big problem here, playing it safe, giving the people more of the same, giving them the same movie from the same franchise with up to date special effects and some spicing…

    i wanted to like TFA, i wanted a sequel to RotJ, not JJ Abram’s reimagining of A New Hope…and this slow realization was like a dark shadow that spoiled the whole movie

    and most of all… i wanted to hear smart criticism by Mike, Jay & Rich…they gave us the Plinkett Reviews which were amazing, but here they ignore most of the criticism that was mentioned in those reviews…for no real reason… it’s so contradicting

  • The Ghost

    I would sooner call The Force Awakens “The film Star Trek: Generations could have been.”

    But I see what you’re getting after.

  • leeboy26

    Needed to be edited with a lightsaber to get rid of the flab. That’s my review.

  • stryker1121

    Another Death Star trench run was the most disappointing aspect to me as well. The new stuff was all good, though, and elevated the movie into original trilogy territory. But as the guys said, I’m hoping the next two films give the audience some credit and allow for new narrative points and less “Remember this!” narrative retreading.

  • impiro

    I think what you are saying about Mike is true. Still, I want a Plinkett style review because this movie has really big flaws. The main flaws are the pacing, the fan service and the tone. A lot of the character development and relations are rushed. Actually, just check my comment a little below for a more thorough explantion. Still you are indeed right about Plinkett, it will takes years,

  • TFA pretty much addresses all of Plinketts issues with the prequels including hiring JJ Abrams. It was the lack of good characters, sets, and humor(good humor) that got ripped along with the plot and writing. You can argue the plot points in TFA, but I think it succeeded in all the other stuff.

  • impiro

    Absolutely agree! I think that it is because they had just seen it though. If you let it sink in, the flaws become really appaerant.

  • bassbait

    but TFA doesn’t have Shatner. And Shatner elevates any film to his level. A level known only as “shat”

  • bassbait

    I had the opposite effect. When I came out I initially had mostly flaws on my mind but as I digested it I started to like it more and more.

  • Prince Solomon

    didn’t you pay any attention at all? when Kylo Ren first had a holo-skype meeting with the Supreme Leader, Snoke said: “Meessa baaaack little Ani 2.0”

  • Prince Solomon

    Star Trek Into Darkness… the three of them together… everybody was totally hating that movie… and Mike’s amazing terrible laugh-out-loud moment!!!

    The best Half in the Bags are always the ones where you watch them suffer while talking about a movie and they all slowly get more and more drunk and go more and more insane

  • When he stops liking Jurrassic World maybe. Maybe Mike isnt as cynical as you want him to be. He was and is a Star Wars fanboy that pretty much got famous critiquing Episode 1. That had to be done by a fan or it would not have been as engaging.

  • impiro

    Sorry that is way too easy. There a legitimate complaints to be made about the pacing, fan service, character development and plot (Deus ex machinas all over). What I actually see is people so in love with what they have just seen once that they failed to see some of the flaws. Dont get me wrong, I can see how TFA was a very entertaining action comedy about Star Wars. I can see how a lot of people loved it because of all the call backs. But A LOT of Plinketts criticisms actually still apply. Not the same way though. For example TPM too much poltics, TFA way too fast paced and too much action. Two extremes of the same coin.

  • bassbait

    ROTJ was Lucas’s reimagining of A New Hope. It was playing it safe even more so than TFA. Why do you want to hear criticism over honesty? If they honesty have little bad to say, then why would they just start talking about shit that wasn’t an issue to them?

    I think that if you strip away the Death star element, this film is mostly very very original. The most original Star Wars film since Empire easily.

  • bassbait

    that’s in my top 5 along with the Man of Steel episode that followed soon after.

  • Only a bridge death of an iconic character. No Malcom MacDonald tho.

  • Assbutt

    One EU nitpick – Rich is right that Han and Leia’s son was evil (like Kylo), but his sister didn’t redeem him, she killed him. I agree with Jay that I’m fine with the recycling of the originals in this movie, but I hope that it doesn’t continue, and I hope they just show Kylo becoming more of an evil irredeemable asshole.

  • Palpatine

    I certainly did.

  • impiro

    Ok, this is getting tiresome. Stop trying to dismiss criticism. Honestly, look up my comment below about the flaws of TFA and tell me there how I am wrong. Then we could at least have a discussion. I do not approuch TFA as a Star Wars movie, neither the other trilogies, I look at it as a movie of it own. And as a movie of its own, TFA has flaws.

  • Cat Stevens

    TFA was a corporately sanctioned, expertly crafted nostalgia product…it even worked on Mike.

    But no one pulls the wool over the objective eyes of Rich Evans!

  • bassbait

    see, the call backs had nothing to do with why I liked it. One of the best aspects of the film to me was the pacing.

    You’re saying “they fail to see some of the flaws” but that’s kind of a condescending thing to say, in that you assume that because you didn’t like aspects of the film, that other people didn’t notice them or intentionally tried to pretend like they weren’t flaws. No. Some people genuinely like things that you may view as flaws, and some people are genuinely unbothered by things that you think affect the movie negatively.

    The Matrix. Great movie. There’s a scene where they kill a bunch of policemen. Common complaint about the film is that they are trying to save humanity but they end up mercilessly killing a bunch of policemen. And yet? That has no affect on me. I can acknowledge that as a lapse in logic, but that isn’t a “flaw” to me. It doesn’t affect my opinion of the film negatively in any way. Mike doesn’t *always* care about those flaws. He only cares about them when the core of the movie is garbage. For what it’s worth, this film was not just “remember Star Wars?” It was a lot more than that, and that’s why it worked for me, and that’s why it worked for Mike and Jay. And the things that *were* “remember Star Wars?” varied from charming to inconsequential to a minor issue for me. Nothing so bad that I’m going to go around crying that it’s trash. None of that was why I loved the movie though. I loved the movie for aspects of the movie that stand on its own.

  • Prince Solomon

    this is what baffles me the most, people are not seeing how unoriginal this new film is.

    Take a look at this: http://i.imgur.com/JPy1a0B.jpg

    So this is how originality dies, with thunderous applause.

    i’m happy for you and everyone who enjoyed TFA for what it is, but many others and me didn’t, we weren’t hoping for a masterpiece, but something that doesn’t need to rip-off it’s own franchise films in order to be good & succesful. Yes, i totally agree with RLM’s Return of the Jedi commentary, and here you have another film, doing the same thing…again.

  • Prince Solomon

    exactly!!! ST:ID & MoS are among the best!!!

    also some of the classics are always fun to rewatch like the B-Fest 2012 Re-cap with Josh, The Black Ninja with Gillian, and Zaat!.

    The Robocop reviews… i almost forget about them, i’m going to rewatch them now

  • Epifanes

    So if the Masturbateur is his father, is the droid toy his mother?

  • bassbait

    when they watch older movies, it’s always good. Or when they watch absolute failures of movies. Like The Amazing Spiderman 2.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You said it, Ms. Ridley. I loved you in the movie.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    No-Brand Con’s weird footage. Man of Steel. Zaat. The one where they review a bunch of movies, including Things. The Paranormal Activity one, mostly because of the Universal dar ride description. So many to choose from.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Let’s try the Plinkett test on new characters and compared to Prequel characters:
    Kylo Ren

  • Yeah. It’s pretty dull, trades on old characters to see it through, has a bit where the hero ship crash lands and is shot with zero cinematic flare by a TV director. I’d say it’s a fair suggestion

  • The Ghost

    I am not dismissing criticism, also, finish reading this thread please before you jump on the wagon. I further clarified what I meant.

    “TFA has flaws.”

    Yes, it did. So what? The originals have flaws as well. Having flaws does not automatically make a film bad. Whatever flaws this film had were not dealbreakers for me because, in my opinion, it got the important stuff right. It introduced four new characters with unique identities and, most importantly, I LIKED them and had fun watching them interact.

    It did away with any convoluted plotting and put the focus back on what made Star Wars great in the first place: the characters, and the fantasy backdrop that props it all up.

    And that’s why I thought the film was pretty damn good. Not “amazing.” Not “the greatest thing ever made by a human.” But very good and perfectly enjoyable.

  • bassbait

    Kylo Ren puts on a strong facade in order to hide away a deeper shell of weakness, through subservience to a “higher power”, holes in his force abilities, and an inability to allow the good in him to be used. I sense an undertone that he is afraid of being good more than loving the state of being bad. Regardless, he is a very strong villain in that he has an authoritative, powerful presence that intimidates enemies before they can build up the strength to fight back. Hit hard and fast in order to suppress any resistance.

    Wait, we’re talking about Kylo Ren right? And not Darth Vader?

  • Jason Ross

    Now they can get to work on the live stream?

  • Alice

    Pretty funny watching some people rage out over this review.

    It’s almost as if, they haven’t seen most of Mike’s other reviews (this might actually be true). At his core, Mike basically cares about:

    I. That a film has a clear cut story that is easy to follow.

    II. Characters that are likable (with potential for change/growth).

    III. That the movie is entertaining (that the world/background the story takes place in, is either fun or interesting).

    There have been plenty of mainstream films that Mike will say are technically not great works of art, but that he thinks they are great pieces of entertainment. Films that, most critics would give a bad review, but Mike says is enjoyable.

    And if you watch the Plinkett reviews again, his criticisms of the prequels are that they are “joyless” and completely misunderstand what the series was about. He wasn’t trashing them because they weren’t masterpieces of cinema. Mike is fine with okay things, as long as they are entertaining.

    I would say, Jay is more on the side of, judging films more on an art level. Whereas Mike has always viewed films more as entertainment (or at least, seeing that aspect as having more value).

    So no surprise here that he loved this film.

  • Adzl33t

    Basically a teenager’s OC Sith character for a fanfiction?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    If you think people are raging here, don’t go check /r/RedLetterMedia.

    😀

  • genetunneygent

    Aaaah. I understand. Something made-up about the magical soldiers in one film is not the same as something made-up about the magical soldiers in another film!

  • TomBaum

    Yeah, Max is one of the few people so far that has pointed out the problems with the new characters. All the criticism so far seems directed at the Starkiller Base plot, and while that is problematic, the biggest letdown for me was how poorly defined the new personalities were. I still don’t understand the psychology of either Rey or Finn and I don’t get why they’re so good at everything.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Adzl33t

    I’m sure more critical review would happen later when after released on Blu Ray.

  • Alice

    lol, I probably don’t have a good idea of how many people are raging or not heh. I just noticed a lot of people on Youtube flipping out. But granted, Youtube comments are always shit. So I might be making wrong assumptions.

    But it just seems to me, Mike has always been pretty clear cut on what he values in films. And at least IMO, he’s always been very consistent. So leading up to this review, I just think it was pretty obvious what it had to do to impress him. So no real shocker here.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I’m raging about people raging about people raging about Star Wars.

  • frankelee

    It’s funny, after watching this movie I kept thinking of the Mr. Plinkett bit where he challenges people to describe the characters without referencing their job or their costume. None of the three main characters displays more character than any of the prequel leads, aside from Poe Dameron having one joke.

  • Alice

    You should be raging out how sexy Jay is.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Plinkett test: Prequel Obi Wan

  • The Ghost

    I think it has to do with this “objectivity” delusion. Like, you have to say bad things to balance out good things and that’s what “objectivity” is, apparently.

    Also their reputation as the guys that tore the prequels a new one works against them, because anyone crusading against the new film needs “Exhibit A” as to why it’s bad and Mike and Jay have not delivered it to them here.

    I can totally understand why someone didn’t like the Force Awakens for any number of reasons. What I don’t understand is the hissyfits that ensue in regards to a favorable review of the film.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That would mean Mike would reference it all the time now!

  • Palpatine

    Yay, HitB episode 100! That’s all I’ve got to say since I already gave my thoughts on the film in comments of the last video.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We are one in the same.

  • Epifanes

    To me the high point is their Jack & Jill review. A two parter that’s probably longer than the movie itself. About a movie so obnoxious and vile they get to unleash their rage in full form.

    One day I’ll watch the movie just to get perspective for the review. Not just yet, but one day.

    One day.

  • The Ghost

    Kylo Ren talks tough and wants nothing more than to be intimidating and menacing, but when you boil him down, he’s an impotent, whiny Darth Vader fanboy who has all of the style and none of the substance, and he knows it. His tough facade is effective when commanding officers or troops, but withers quickly when challenged by formidable opposition.

    He is a young man with massive potential, limited by his own insecurities. He can’t live up his own expectations because he is confused about what exactly he aspires to be.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    He was pretty good in Trainspotting, and he kinda sucked in Moulin Rouge, but that’s just me, I hate musicals.

  • Archie Stanton

    This film was lazy trash. I’m surprised at how forgiving critics of the prequels are.

  • bassbait

    so when people complain about the characters being kinda flat in the new film, I want to stress that the original point of the Star Wars film was that it was lifting elements directly from previous works and adding context to make them compelling to an audience in the late 70’s. TFA is doing exactly that for an audience in the 2010’s. However, it’s not assuming the audience are complete idiots like that may suggest. Instead, it is providing “flat” characters in an archetypal sense. Sure Luke is “whiny” but if the complaint about Rey is that she has no flaws, then the same can be said of Luke in the original Star Wars to an extent too. We can be reductive about everything until we’re blue in the face or we can accept that it would be an exaggeration to call Rey *completely* flat. Some elements of her flatness as a character stem from filling that archetype. But what makes her more than that archetype is the elements of her that *aren’t* flat, which can be safely ignored if we’re being reductive, but like I said, let’s not be. If we’re gonna be reductive then Luke is the generic hero protagonist and he’s just a fill-in-the-blank character with no personality. Rey has a personality, but it’s informed by circumstances that may be a bit more foreign to viewers. She clearly lives an isolated life, and that informs her character to a degree. She has the force to an overwhelming degree and it informs her character arc. It actually reminds me of mental illness to an extent, where the overwhelming nature of something like ADHD can be seen as a bother and you just want it gone, but then when you learn how to use it to good effect, you grow as a person. Her force vision was full on, almost PTSD flashback type of thing. Sadly even the prequels got this right in that the force had its drawbacks in Anakin, seeing premonitions that eventually set off his turn to the dark side. It was just poorly executed. It was much better executed in Empire where Luke has visions of Vader. That was an example of insight to the character that is similar to the insight of Rey’s past and future being dug up by the metaphysical connection to the lightsaber. I’d love to see how she gets fleshed out in the sequels. I want to see her have force powers that are so strong that they’re out of control and she needs to learn to subdue them. That is a depth of character that had the seed planted in TFA, but wasn’t fully elaborated on. And I’m fine with that. A lot of this movie is planting seeds for a trilogy. And it’s planting seeds that work emotionally, they work in the context of the Star Wars series, and they’re sometimes actual *new* ideas.

    It’s ok to take issue with anything you want in TFA, but ironically I think the people who are upset are having too much nostalgia goggles, too caught up in Star Wars as a phenomenon to remember what purpose it originally served. It’s all about what services that original purpose versus what undermines it. For me, what undermined it the most was the Death Star plot, as well as some contrived plot points like Han’s death. Some definite big pieces of the film were flawed, but I could easily say the same of Jedi and I still enjoy watching that film.

  • bassbait

    I told you, I really can just rant for fucking EVER about Star Wars.

  • The Ghost

    Calmly whiny.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why did people like Darth Maul besides his design and the fact he does his own stunts? I’ve never liked him because really he just a pawn of Palpatine and that’s it. Now granted Kylo Ren is a pawn of Snoke but there’s more to Kylo Ren than just being a pawn. He’s a human being blinded by his own ambitions and power with a dark, dramatic, and horrifying past. Darth Maul is….Darth Maul. There are no other words to describe him as other than he’s just Darth Maul. We know nothing about him as a person so when he’s doing his own stunts it’s not badass or cool because we don’t have any connection to him at all.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Not Ewan McDonald. The character.

  • bassbait

    objectivity is that it exists. Subjectivity is that it’s good or bad. “Good” and “bad” are by definition subjective terms, because they are entirely defined by a system that’s set up by an individual’s opinion. Whereas how much money the movie made is verified via facts, and the facts are not open to interpretation or debate. Success, critical reception, etc, are all objective. A wiki article on the film is objective. Anything we discuss about the quality of the film here? Just preference.

  • The Ghost

    Bingo bango my friend.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Because Darth Maul looked cool. That’s all that it takes to win adoration. I can’t wait before Star Wars fans will make Captain Phasma into an iconic “”character””

    #fuck boba fett
    #fuck darth maul
    #these movies are for children

  • bassbait

    it’d make sense if he was kicking off a bigger plot, like if his introduction and his threat and his death affected the plot at large, it wouldn’t matter so much that he has no depth. But the entire trilogy just starts over at episode 2 anyways, which makes the first film entirely pointless. Which makes Darth Maul a complete garbage character outside of design and stunt work, which to me were shit anyways.

  • A more-or-less likeable and charming fellow whose charisma would really be apparent in a better setting.

    Gets a little annoyed sometimes, often resembling an old mother hen when doing so.

    Seems to gain a great deal of power and clarity when he gains access to elevated areas above his opponents, even if it’s only from a certain point of view.

  • bassbait

    I know the plot to the next Star Wars film – the TFA haters and the TFA apologists form the dark and light side of the force(d flame war). And then they fight! And a major character gets killed off. My money is on Finn because movies are racist.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Apparently Ewan McDonald, the only good thing that’s not the score in The Prequels, makes a cameo appearance in Rey’s vision. Bill Hader, Ben Schwartz, Ewan McGregor, Daniel Craig, and Michael Giacchino are cameos.

  • yellowface

    You mean Evan McDermott.

  • bassbait

    Moulin Rouge looks really awful, but I feel compelled to see it because Nicole Kidman is very attractive in that movie. Should I give it a shot?

  • Marvin Falz

    That’s funny, because I was just about to write:

    So RLM likes The Force Awakens. When’s the next BotW?

  • Domo

    Supposedly Daniel Craig is the storm trooper that gets mind tricked by Rey to uncuff her and let her leave, yes?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes.

  • Marvin Falz

    I hope for the release of a Plinkett commentary / RLM commentary for Empire.

  • PeterKapow

    It even has the premise of extinguishing a star, and it not immediately freezing a planet to deathly levels.

  • bassbait

    oh yea. I’d watch that a million times. Empire was my favorite film ever until 2001 eventually beat it.

  • The Ghost

    I totally thought about this while watching the film.

  • castlemonster

    I wonder how long it will take them to just abolish the prequels from the canon, totally memory hole them, remove all the numbers and just start calling “A New Hope” Star Wars again?

  • Bill Semi Liar

    Good grief, you´re right. You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. I was exprcting more nitpicking, not a total love, especially concerning the plotholes and overall story

  • Marvin Falz

    Speaking of 2001, some months ago I’ve seen the ending of 2001 and some short documentary. It WAS very intriguing. One day I have to watch the whole movie. Something I’ve been wanting for years, but for a reason I don’t know, have always postponed.

  • bassbait

    interesting point that my friend brought up – Kylo can control his powers, but he can’t control his emotions. Rey has better control over her emotions but less control over her powers. This could pave the way for a very interesting sequel in which the determining factor is what’s more detrimental – emotional weakness or physical (force) weakness.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Yup, but that’s with the concept generally. I don’t think Mike cares all that much about Matrix sequels, but people been championing that for years.

  • bassbait

    Have you seen how much I’ve been ranting about the new Star Wars? Imagine that’s 1/100th of what I could say in comparison to 2001. And then go see it and be disappointed that it feels like so little happens. But it’s SO much to me, just because I sit around for hours thinking about the meaning and how powerful it is, and how well executed everything is, and yadda yadda yadda brain aneurysm.

  • The Ghost

    The plot is largely lifted from a New Hope, yes, of course, but in this case I think it was fine for a few reasons.

    They introduced new, likable characters that are not merely archetypes of the old ones. They are unique additions to the Star Wars universe and their energy and enthusiasm propelled the film. In a movie franchise built largely on its characters, they got the characters right. That’s important.

    After the resounding disappointment of the prequels and years of fan frustration, I think if there were ever a time to simply play it safe, that time is now. Go back to what you know will work, do it well, and set the table for more interesting things to happen down the road.

    No here’s where I’ll agree with you a bit.

    They need to hold up the other end of the bargain going forward. I can stomach the referential material and callbacks for now, but going forward, they need to shake up the status quo. They need to tell new kinds of stories, and have these characters carve out their own, unique roles in the Star Wars universe. Ditch the references going forward. Now it’s time for something new.

    As I said in the last thread, If the next film ends with Rey’s hand getting chopped off by Kylo Ren, I’ll be very pissed and will be totally on board with the criticisms you’re leveeing.

  • DrClown

    I hated Darth Maul from first sight. He just looked like some boring human who’s into extreme body modification.

  • The Ghost

    He also seems to get weaker as he gets angrier, whereas Luke became more powerful when he was worked up with rage.

  • bassbait

    I just think that the Matrix sequels fit the mold really well because they’re very comparable to the prequels, where the emotional core is no longer there, and so the lapses in logic stick out like a sore thumb. And he liked the first Matrix so I’d imagine he would have something to say about the sequels.

    Sometimes I feel as though Mike is running out of a need to make these reviews. Like he has run out of movies that gave him such strong thoughts in a negative way. Titanic was almost a defense of the movie at points, and I’d imagine he’d be willing to do the same with other movies, but what’s even left that fits the general criteria? (deeply flawed but very hyped, has been around for a while and could strike a personal note of criticism within someone like Mike)

  • Marvin Falz

    Yes, I have seen how much you have been … ranting? … isn’t ruminating the better word? I don’t know, but I totally believe you, you seem to be very imaginative and I understand that the images of 2001 are indeed very powerful. (On a sidenote: the same allegedly applies for Lars von Trier’s Breaking the Waves. It says, those images are so powerful, they stay burned inside your mind, which is bad, I guess, since Breaking the Waves tells a kind of insane story.)

  • LukasWormTheThird

    He might be running out of stuff that was important to him since childhood and got ruined later on. This loks like a job for Time Douche!

    Excuse me.

  • The Ghost

    Finn is the character the prequels desperately needed: An everyman, a vehicle through which we can enjoy the film. A guy who is constantly in over his head with all this crazy space shit.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s like poetry so that they rhyme

    http://i.imgur.com/GkiPoC2.jpg

  • The Jedi Master Comeback?

  • bassbait

    *rant about how great 2001 is incoming*

    when my mind is really into something, it’s a non-stop barrage of thoughts that flesh out. This is why I’m able to make 30 minute videos on the meaning of movies. Because my mind starts making all these connections. You’re seeing it raw with TFA right now, I’m just thinking out loud in a series of comments.

    The reason why 2001 is the greatest film ever is because it necessitates film as a medium of artistic expression. When you have a story on your hands, it’s up to you what medium you want to use to tell it. Do you want to do literature? Theater? Film? Video game? Concept album? Etc. When people say “the book was better than the movie!” that’s because the story was better suited to be a book. But 2001 is that taken to an extreme. It cannot work as anything other than a movie, because the film is partially meta-commentary, and also because the themes and plot are explained through visuals in a way where the themes no longer exist when explained through written word.

    One example of the brilliance of the film is (this is a minor spoiler, but most people who are familiar with what the film is know about this) a scene in which a monkey throws up a bone, and then it cuts to humans in space. Most stories would include a montage explaining the events between pre-historic ape-man and humans having already colonized space. 2001 takes a much more brilliant route and skips over it entirely. Why? Because the voice of the film is subtly whispering. The film is implying that the space between pre-man and space-man is irrelevant. In a film about evolution, specifically the evolution of mankind, we get NOTHING of man’s time on earth since we first evolved to become men. We don’t see the space race. We don’t see WWII. We don’t see ancient Rome. All of human history as we know it? In the grand scheme of things? Completely irrelevant. The film gives exactly 0 seconds to recorded human history, because in the evolution of mankind, that is simply NOT important. That’s a brilliant implication done through a simple editing trick. He was able to comment on all of human history within 0 seconds of footage. Only film allows for such a brilliant, indirect statement. And 2001 is the film that told everyone how to use film to create art that can only be done through film.

  • bassbait

    maybe I can take over and make a video shitting on The Dark Knight extensively. Even though I honestly didn’t hate it. I just hate what it represents in the grand scheme of film-making, though I accept that other people enjoy that kind of stuff.

  • bassbait

    Obi Wan would have worked as that role. Anakin could have been a bit like Kylo, and Qui Gon could get stabbed by Darth Maul a few more times.

  • tOmy`

    And Nigel Godrich.

    WHY IS NOBODY MENTIONING NIGEL GODRICH?!

  • LukasWormTheThird

    We gonna have to have a talk about that, because I think you are targetting wrong movies with that not-quite-venom

  • tOmy`

    Well, Darth Maul did look very cool. He would be really good as an assassin with a lightsaber (and very limited powers), stalking our heroes for 3 movies.

    But no. He gets cut in two. Maybe he didn’t realize he has a higher ground.

  • tOmy`

    Here is to another 100 mediocre episodes, hack frauds!

    https://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/1339618030_middle_finger.jpg

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Dwigt

    They basically (and it’s a good thing) shuffled the features of the main characters of the original trilogy. Finn has elements of personality from Han Solo (the reluctant hero) and C3PO (the comic relief who says things at inappropriate times).

  • Gallen_Dugall

    yep
    Rich captures my sentiment. It’s worth watching. Hopefully the next one will be better.

  • CreepyThinMan
  • tOmy`

    Your reviews are great.

  • bassbait

    It’s not a bad movie. I’ve had ideas for doing negative reviews of movies and games for a long time, and for me, the worth of a negative review is in pointing genuine flaws that detract from the worth of a movie, but that are going unnoticed. I do feel as though the spectacle of The Dark Knight has allowed people to overlook flaws that would be issues if they had noticed. Of course once I’ve said my issues with the film, it’s up to other people to decide whether they agree that it impacts the film negatively, but for me it did significantly. Though I may need to watch it again to really know what I want to say. Who knows maybe I’ll suddenly like it on 4th viewing.

  • CreepyThinMan

    I thank you kindly, Sir!!!FACT!!!

  • bassbait
  • Wizard Phoenix

    And XxXSW92 says “Get off your lazy fucking ass and give us a new review!”

  • tOmy`

    His cheque apparently didn’t come with the fine print saying “don’t shit on our movie, please”.

    After Craig’s wrist-slitting incident, one would think it is a standard issue by now.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    “I want to stress that the original point of the Star Wars film was that it
    was lifting elements directly from previous works and adding context to
    make them compelling to an audience in the late 70’s. TFA is doing
    exactly that…”

    I’m afraid this is wrong. What you are missing here is the distinction between drawing inspiration from external works as opposed to beat-for-beat copying of your own series. The original Star Wars worked in this regard because it took elements of classic sci-fi and put them together in a way that was totally unique and unheard of at the time. There is nothing wrong with this; in fact, it happens constantly across all art forms. I would contend that this form of creative “plagiarism” is actually unavoidable and necessary to the advancement of art.

    What TFA does, however, is completely different. Instead of taking ideas from iconic sci-fi works and creatively re-purposing them, it draws inspiration from the original SW films, and in doing so, becomes a mere copy of a copy. THIS is its failing, and THIS is why people are disappointed.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    been posted here multiple times already.

  • bassbait

    you missed my point. My point is that the idea of Star Wars is taking previous ideas and then adding to it. It’s fine to do that with your own series. That’s what Terminator 2 did. Terminator 2 took all of the elements of Terminator 1 and did it with new elements thrown in. Aliens did that with Alien. And those two films are both lauded despite being much, much closer “rip offs” of the first films in those series.

    TFA is not like a prequel in that it steals iconography alone and then does nothing with it. It’s like Terminator 2 or Aliens in that it takes iconography, tone, plot, characters, etc, and re-contextualizes them to create its own voice within the series.

    Is it fair to call Alien is a copy of a slasher movie. Aliens is a copy of Alien. Is Aliens therefore a failure?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • bassbait

    that’s why I asked. Sheesh! *walks away grumbling*

  • tOmy`

    AND SHUT THE DOORS BEHIND YOU!

  • bassbait

    WOULD YOU CLOSE THE FUCKING DOORS!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Cream-A-Thon

    I hate when Disney wins, this is only going to encourage them.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I do have plenty of issues with it myself, although I do definitely enjoy it on many levels (justa as I do Btman Begins in fact). I personally do not trace the Spectacle Over True Substance to TDK, I think there are worse culprits of that to find. But I would agree that it’s more interesting to dissect, since it has merits as well flaws.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You thought Marvel Cinematic Universe was bad? Just you wait bucko. Pretty soon there’s gonna be 3 Star Wars moives per year. It’s gonna be great.

  • tOmy`

    I actually started thinking about Star Wars as a Marvel CU. Which could mean one positive thing:

    The more movies come out, the bigger the chance of something slightly unique and interesting happening to the franchise. Some diversification will be needed to pull off MCU successfully, which could lead to a certain number of movies that could be “exactly” what we were waiting for.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Btw, are any of your analy..analyse…analysae up online still? I still got 10 hours of a nighshift ahead of me, maybe I’d let myself be schooled.

  • bassbait

    yea. I got a few shitty videos here –

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC32gaW8WaRhqmShrQ_ltqSA

    low quality on a technical standpoint, but it’s the worth of my words that matters most. And my words are probably shit too. But 100,000 views on two videos says something.

  • ZeroPtZero

    My one complaint is when Finn and Rey escape in the Millenium Falcon they get picked up by… Han Solo. It was too unlikely of a coincidence. Otherwise, they get right into the story and keep it moving so that all the fan service stuff doesn’t really take you out of it. Just that one moment with Han suddenly appearing made me stop and say, “Really?”

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Thanks, I’ll rumage round.

  • Adzl33t

    And not one animated movie review

  • bassbait

    well it’s the film that started the trend of ultra-seriousness where the tension is dissolved because of a complete detachment from both characters and plot. Sure, the spectacle can be nice (though I thought it was underwhelming even on that level), but there’s no real emotional drive beyond “Joker does bad things and batman doesn’t like that!”

    There is more going on ideologically but the problem is that doesn’t matter if I simply don’t *care*,

    This is where a podcast would be a good idea. People with somewhat differing opinion on movies making their case and hearing each other out. I have too many controversial opinions not to catch people’s interest on some level, even if it’s sheer hate for my completely different angle on what makes movies good.

  • Marvin Falz

    “when my mind is really into something, it’s a non-stop barrage of thoughts that flesh out.”

    My mind works like that as well, just less regarding movies and more regarding people who have a strong impact on me. I must say, that many of the movies RLM discusses like Marvel movies and other superhero flics are not that interesting to me. Usually a movie has to sort of relate to my life, so that I want to watch it and get some useful information / inspiration out of it. And since I’m not a film student I don’t automatically pay attention to technical things. Nonetheless the technical stuff is interesting and worth learning about.

    Interesting explanation of the transitiion from that moment in human evolution where the apes learn they can use something as a tool to the space age. This 0 seconds alone gives an analyst the chance to write page after page. I’m fascinated by the immense development of tools. The space station appears almost in the same position the bone is in the air, which let’s me think that in quintessence the bone and the space station are the same. They’re both tools in human matters. This ties in neatly with your perspective that from evolution’s perspective none of the recorded history is important since all of history follows the same pattern. Of course that doesn’t mean, that history will always repeat itself. But it seems that humans are relatively limited in their human sphere. Provided, there is some sort of free will, this free will is also limited to a fixed amount of possible actions.

  • bassbait

    I’m crossing my fingers for an isolated story within the Star Wars universe that’s thought provoking and doesn’t rely on sith lords/the empire (or first order) and/or jedi.

  • Dr Francis B Gross

    #these not this

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I’m not trying to convert you, I am pretty happy reading your thoughts on it. I for one, do actually like do discuss things without telling people to lick my anus in my second reply.

    Usually

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I had to watch it way back when, because of some a teacher at art design school really liked it, and want it to share it with everyone else. I tried to tune out and think about something else, so I don’t remember much.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’s a bit too much unfounded optimism for my tastes. MCU began in 2008 with Iron Man right? If so it seems they didn’t started taking chances and doing something actually creative till 2014-2015[winter soldier and daredevil/jessica jones I’m guessing]

  • bassbait

    see, this is why 2001 is the best. It gets people talking. Whether you loved it or hate it, you had to *think* about it, and it does that better than pretty much any other film. I recommend watching it and letting the subtle themes sink in, and if you ever get lost I’m willing to explain my interpretations on things.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    That wasn’t necessairly fan service. That was actual plot. Han Solo was looking after the ship.

  • The Ghost

    Didn’t they allude to the fact that Han was tracking the Falcon after it was jacked from him and he’d determined where it might have been or something? So it would make sense that he was prowling the area I think.

  • Adzl33t

    I like James Arnold Taylor better from the Clone Wars tv show

  • bassbait

    well I’m not here to convince anybody of anything. I’m here to explore other people’s opinions while providing my own. I like to pry into why people feel the way they do, and question when I don’t understand, but I have no end goal besides that I enjoy conversation and I enjoy spending time with people.

  • Adzl33t

    But that’s Armond White, so who cares.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Play Knights of The Old Republic 2 instead. It has sith’s sure but it’s also the only piece of Star Wars media that made me think.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I know, but still better than nothing. (Maybe.)

    We will see what happens with Rogue One (and, of course, how popular it will be.)

  • Hank_Henshaw

    No.

  • bassbait

    I managed to watch good movies in high school. The Truman Show and Paths of Glory for example. And then I also had to watch that boring oscar bait shit like A Beautiful Mind.

    I’d have killed to watch a movie with the kind of flashy costumes and beautiful women (specifically Kidman) in school. But Truman Show works too.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Is the first one also good?

  • bassbait

    how much of KOTOR is rooted in RPG? Because the traditional elements of RPGs usually make them unplayable for me, but I’m willing to give the series a chance if it isn’t unbearably faithful to RPG mechanics.

  • bassbait

    that’s the last MCU movie I saw.

  • Captain Turbo

    What, George Lucas didn’t write this one? Pass!!!

  • bassbait

    my youtube channel recommends Yourmoviesucksdotorg as a related channel. Crazy.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Notice in the latest blu ray repackaging the “Episode Roman Numeral” part of the title is gone. This new movie is called “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”, not “Episode VII”, that’s the unofficial name fans are giving it. I don’t think the prequels will ever be remade, just out of respect to George Lucas… but the reference to them will always be very oblique and rare.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Aliens and Terminator 2 both added enough new, fresh material to stand alone as unique, interesting films despite their callbacks. What does TFA have that isn’t a direct parallel to the original movies? Not enough, that’s what.

  • Palpatine

    Hopefully soon.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    according to many folks it’s even better but I don’t think I can agree. It’s Bioware’s clear and cut hero narrative they’ve been doing for years now. Obsidian made the whole thing much more complex and compelling.

  • tOmy`

    Remember the riveting scene where Finn drinks from the same trough as the big pig does?

    I already forgot about it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s pretty classical in that sense sad to say.

  • dogsandsoccer

    I don’t think the new characters weren’t developed enough, except for Kylo Ren. In JJ Abrams fashion, the movie moved so quickly, there wasn’t enough time to really connect with the characters. Think of A New Hope: Uncle Owen rejects Luke’s idea of going to the Academy. Luke walks out and look into the sunset, the music wells, and we know then without any words being spoken how desperate Luke is to begin his life. The Force Awakens seemed to lack any of these real character moments. I guess I liked the film for the most part, but I was disappointed in that aspect.

  • bassbait

    I’m sick of loading this place up with super paragraphs about TFA, so let me just say, there is more than enough. There’s more than Aliens or T2, which are rehashes to a severe degree. If you saw the Alien commentary that RLM did, Mike even explains how Aliens, every single last plot detail is directly lifted from Alien. The only reason why Aliens works is because James Cameron re-interpreted the series in a way that made it better adapted to an 80’s version of film-making, as opposed to the very 70’s style of Alien. TFA is a 2010’s version of A New Hope. A lot of new ideas in TFA are very distanced from the original trilogy enough that it stands on its own while being informed by what the original films were, particularly A New Hope. It’s the modern day equivalent of Aliens in many ways if you ask me.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    black men are pigs in the intergalactic animal kingdom!

    JJ put more subliminal messages in here then jodorowsky would!

    #best film ever

  • Django Plimpton

    yourmoviesucks sucks

  • Generalzod

    Just a remake of a new hope

  • Marvin Falz

    🙂 Well, thank you. You’re right and I actually love these kind of movies, just for this reason. This is btw the reason why I don’t care much about the new Star Wars, one of many reasons actually. The new Star Wars didn’t appeal to me from the get-go, because I suspected a lack of interestin dialogue, too much focus on meaningless action, a story which is all too common and generic, characters which might be new to the Star Wars universe but ultimately tied in in the usual plotline and since Star Wars isn’t about debating a theme, my mind only puts out my generic “it’s crap to make money and I don’t care about anything related to it”.

    The difference between these two types of movie is this: the one is full of fast pacing and when I watch it my mind goes kinda blank, while the other one is slow and without much action on the screen, but my mind is stimulated.

  • bassbait

    which isn’t necessarily a flaw, but it’s a barrier to entry for me. I just cannot manage to make sense of RPG systems like I can a traditional action game or platformer. It gets embarrassing sometimes, like how I took a long time to beat Amnesia because I didn’t understand exploration or inventory well enough to figure shit out. I’d often run out of lantern oil and be stuck in the dark for long periods of time and not even bother picking up more oil.

  • Django Plimpton

    Han always knew where the Falcon was because he had already given it to Rey before she had her memory wiped by Luke Skywalker. That’s why the Falcon was conveniently on Jakku. It belongs to Rey.

  • Bubs

    1. The scene just after the Junkyard Escape where Finn and Rey are congratulating each other.

    2. The scene where Poe and Finn escape together.

    3. The scene with Han and his son, Ben, on the bridge at the end.

    That’s just off the top of my head. Did you see the same movie as me?

  • Marvin Falz

    BotW has become the most entertaining format along with their shorts and weird stuff. To me that is.

  • bassbait

    my mind was stimulated with TFA because of the way scenes were constructed. For example, in the beginning when Rey is scavenging the fallen star destroyer. That was a quiet, soft moment of world-building and constructing an idea. I felt like I was a part of the universe of the film because they added in lots and lots of little details that made it feel genuine. I thought the scene with the tie fighters chasing the two leads on foot was brilliant, the kind of thing we’ve never seen in Star Wars. Tie Fighters always had the problem of not seeming very threatening, because compared to X-wings they’re just easy targets and not much more, even though several pilots die. There’s less tension. But when you’re on foot, being chased by tie fighters, that’s a much more tense situation. I could add in all of the moments like this that worked for me but the bottom line is, it felt more weighted, it felt more real and I cared more as a result.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    they key for doing well in RPG’s is basically experimentation. There’s not many RPG’s these days that become straight up unbeatable if you haven’t put enough points into certain skills or went along with “wrong” character build for the story.worst case scenario-you can always restart it and Min-Max-it.

  • Django Plimpton

    It was really the entire original trilogy packed into one film. I still loved it.

  • bassbait

    I’m not super fond of him, and my videos are nothing like his except that we both talk in-depth about movies. But I respect that he has a wide fanbase and he probably has some worthwhile points of view on movies.

  • A-mazing

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    It’s an homage, you cunt!

  • Bubs

    People say this like it’s some kind of insult. Would you rather it was a remake of The Phantom Menace?

  • bassbait

    last RPG I attempted was “Shining Force”. If you even know what that is. And that’s not even condescension because I don’t even know what that is.

  • Ruben Teitler

    Roughly speaking I liked everything that came after the obligatory crazy monster shit in the freighter. I didn’t care for the shenanigans on the desert planet, it was too slick for my tastes. The interaction between the old cast and the new past the half-way point really made it work for me and it changed the tempo of the movie. The old guard injected some humanity into the universe and suddenly the quips landed. Also, something simple like a hug between characters who go back a long time aroused more emotion in me than 3 hours worth of CGI spectacle.

  • May I start coughing blood now?

  • Marvin Falz

    Maybe I’ll watch TFA when it comes out on dvd. Seems like this movie has more to offer than just cynicall cash-grabbiness and fanservice.

  • I wonder when’s the next Pre-Rec Best of the Worst coming out.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    With Space Cop about to be released (in theory), I expect them to have ads, trailers, weird randomness about Space Cop, before a new BotW. So, next BotW coming 2016.

  • Palpatine

    Tomorrow, I hope.

  • bassbait

    I feel like people who don’t pay attention will have the fan-service stick out as if that’s most of what it is. I can’t say it’s necessarily great but I payed a lot of attention just because this is the first time I’ve given a shit about a movie, so I felt obligated to make sure I was keeping up. A lot of it is still fuzzy but what I remember is mostly positives. The negatives were obvious while I was watching but I feel like the negatives are always more obvious than the positives. When something works, it’s harder to explain why it works than when something doesn’t work. So when the flaws are the first thing that sticks in the mind, it becomes hard to see the worth of the film. I say everyone should watch it 2 or 3 times before cementing their opinion, but I have a feeling my opinion will stay in the “8/10” range simply because it hit a lot of automatic marks of quality for me that I don’t see a lot of.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    It’s a homage to its own cunt, instead of other people’s cunts, which isn’t nearly as fun.

  • Marvin Falz

    It’s hard for me to estimate when the next BotW might be released. When they recently announced that the biggest chunk of work on Space Cop is done, I imagined they now have more time for other projects. So I hope they have enough time to release another BotW within the next 4 – 5 days.

    On the other hand, I wouldn’t mind the guys taking a break from all the hard work.

  • Bubs

    That game is a classic. One of the games that inspired me to get into Game Design as a career choice.

    It’s also utterly simplistic. Move all your guys here, kill that guy. What a blast!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Plus, it’s Richmas time.

  • I can’t tell whether this is awesome or pathetic. Or both. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CWYy_n-UAAAF9Po.jpg:large

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Homage… Having the same key points is now homage.

  • bassbait

    It came on a PC disc with a few other games, and I played it a bit, and I didn’t do very good. But I didn’t do good at any of the games on that disc. And one of them was Comix Zone, which is hard as fuck. And also a really great game, for the record.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    “If you liked ‘Generic Space Action Movie With Cartoon Star Trek Characters’, you’ll love ‘Generic Space Action Movie WIth Cartoon Star Wars Characters’! Now with added ‘social justice’!”

    It’s pop filler, and nobody will remember it in six months. Just like nobody remembers the Star Trek reboot.

  • bassbait

    middle guy – awesome
    left and right guy – pathetic

  • bassbait

    social justice?

  • Marvin Falz

    Yes!

    And there is nothing that gets me more in the mood of Richmas than https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Npb-wAhmXJo

  • You know, them women and black people are heroes now. That’s unimaginable. Still no actual Asians, though.

  • Marvin Falz

    It’s kinda hilarious.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    The sequel will have all transgender Jedis.

  • Blood Debt

    As soon as TFA comes out on VHS?

  • Bubs

    Oh yeah, that game is fucking impossible. I don’t know anyone who has ever got past the first few pages.

    I didn’t know Shining Force came on PC. There’s a great Game Boy Advance version which updates the graphics and everything. I think I first beat that game when I was like 8 or something. Back when they had Sega Channel, if you even know what THAT is.

  • bassbait

    Star Trek was the original social justice sci-fi. Think about it, the very IDEA of Star Trek was social justice.

  • bassbait

    finally a film that I’ll enjoy!

  • Frank Lovejoy

    There was a time when people – particularly grown-ups – would have the taste and intelligence to recognize meaningless pandering. That time has, apparently, gone.

  • dogsandsoccer

    1. Congrats for escaping isn’t really character development. It’s a high-five.

    2. Poe and Finn don’t really reveal their inner thoughts there.

    3. I said Kylo Ren was an exception.

    Compare those scenes to the one I mentioned and the one in Star Wars on board the Falcon where Han, Ben, and Luke talk about the Force, blasters, and luck. And the one at the end where Leia and Han talk about what Han’s in it for vs. what Leia wants. What a character wants is what motivates them.

    What do Finn and Poe want? What motivates them? I’m not saying the filmmakers have to tell us everything about everybody, but we need to be able to make a human connection. Now, the good thing is that I do want to know more about these characters, whereas in the prequels I gave not one shit.

  • Bubs

    Yeah, Blacks and Women are lesser people than whites and men. You fucking liberal chud!

  • bassbait

    I know Sega Channel through word of mouth but I wasn’t an owner of any Sega products until the Dreamcast. Most of my genesis game experiences were through that PC game back that I stumbled into one day at a costco.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    My favorite scene was when the Hitcher blew up the van, and it flew ten feet in the air, and when it landed Sophie Bush walked out unscathed firing a shotgun.

    Oh wait, different pointless remake.

  • bassbait

    there was a time where only white folks were allowed in movies and TV shows. I don’t wanna see no black folks! Or women folks! Or gay folks!

  • Frank Lovejoy

    I would rather that they, you know, have new ideas. Silly me. Be sure to catch the reboot of the reboot in three years.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    How exciting for you to still be able to type with all that brain damage.

  • You do know that Star Trek, the original one was, what you would call “social justice” back when it aired?

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Social justice as a component, not as raison d’etre. If they hadn’t plugged in a few token characters the lack of a point for this remake would be even more obvious.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    They’re making Star Wars toys, you insensitive asshole.

  • tOmy`

    In real life, Luke would just say: “Who the fuck are you? Put it down, you crazy bitch, you gonna put someone’s eye out.”

  • Bubs

    There was a time when people bigots – particularly grown-ups rednecks – would have lack the taste and intelligence to recognize meaningless pandering equality.

    Fixed it for you.

  • bassbait

    yeehaw!

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You think you’ve made a point, but all you’ve done is admit that it’s a dumb movie made to satisfy your political viewpoints. Which is why everything sucks now.

  • Well… You wanted an answer, didn’t you?

  • Harry Mudd

    Yes, but you haven’t answered the real question we all want to know… How dense is it? How much is going on in every frame?

  • Marvin Falz

    Kind of interesting to see William Shatner as Adam Cramer and as Captain Kirk.

  • Palpatine

    Process dem.

  • bassbait

    they must be dead by now. Destroy what’s left of them.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s stylistically designed to be that way and you can’t undo that. But we can diminish the effects of it.

  • Rammy

    This is where it might behoove you to watch closely and leave your expectations at the door.

    I totally disagree.

    Rey: Lonely, hopeful, independent, headstrong, intelligent.

    Finn: Frightened, unsure, funny, conflicted, genuine, idealistic.

    Poe: Witty, confident, skillful, has conviction, dashing.

    Kylo Ren: Confused, conflicted, in pain, angry, wrathful.

    You: Overconfident in your own intellectual and critical faculties.

  • bassbait

    soooo you’re aware that it’s ok that films have characters who don’t happen to be straight cis white men… right? You seem to take it to an extreme of how far is too far with “representation”. So far that not even the original Star Wars trilogy could escape your judgment of being “SJW”.

  • tOmy`

    Captain Phasma is Rey’s mother.

  • Palpatine

    Oh, so Rey is Luke’s daughter!

  • Frank Lovejoy

    I realize intentionally missing the point of someone’s statement is the reason we have the Internet, but if you’re too stupid to understand the difference between objecting to pandering use of meaningless token characters to up the Metacritic score of your unimaginative space opera versus hatey-hateful racism, buy another ticket, breathe through your mouth (when not stuffing popcorn in it) and continue feeling superior.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    is this Game of Thrones? Meaningless death AND a meaningless twist?

  • No? If it was it would have been a movie saying why diversity is cool.

  • Django Plimpton

    “It’s your fathers cataract remover. He wanted you to have this when you were old enough”

  • Bubs

    This place is just nauseatingly toxic. Over a movie. I’ll be back next year.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ♬Be cool about lightsaber safety♬

  • It’s just like that time Batman News people came.

  • bassbait

    I like how I say something reasonable and you respond with a kind of hostility that is only present in people with severe anger issues. Should I even bother presenting my side of things if your entire goal is just to hate and scream at people for disagreeing with you?

  • Frank Lovejoy

    “I was being reasonable, implying that you’re a racist!”

  • tOmy`

    *called to the arms

  • We do know it rhymes.

  • Palpatine

    Why, because people aren’t agreeing on the movie?

  • tOmy`

    You know what’s the most funny thing about similar discussions (I had a very similar one over Jessica Jones)?

    The fact that we still have these discussions is the first sign of the problem still very much being here.

  • Grandma

    Why is Rey a Jedi Master after about 5 seconds? Maybe she should be training Luke.

  • bassbait

    Ok so I guess you just want people to agree with you at all times and never learn anything. Ok then. Here you go –

    I agree 100%. Finn should have been played by a white guy because the fact that he’s black somehow makes the film worse for reasons that I can’t explain other than a vague assertion of “social justice”. It’s pandering to have a black guy in Star Wars even though we’ve had several black guys in Star Wars already. The character is not at all impacted by his race so clearly he needs to be a white man specifically.

    Now I’m on your side. So are you done being angry?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Was Rick McCallum invited to the premiere?

  • The Ghost

    I hear that. I tried to make a similar point way below and did it in a clumsy fashion.

    I can understand why people would either like or dislike the Force Awakens for any number of reasons. That’s something we can all talk about. What I don’t understand are the tantrums that ensue upon a movie being reviewed favorably.

    Like if Mike and Jay liked the film, it’s because they didn’t look at it “the right way” and they “ignored the flaws.”

    It just might be that, while they acknowledge the flaws, they simply aren’t dealbreakers for them the way they might be for others.

  • That’s because she has that much force in her…

  • Bubs

    It has nothing to do with agreement or disagreement. It’s about the manner of disagreement. The vitriol.

    I come here for lighthearted fun because the real world is full of shit. I can get this same resentment for humanity just watching Fox News.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    An interesting point: as the ‘social justice’ issues of Star Trek were ramped up, the show became less and less watchable (and popular).

    This is why nobody – I mean nobody – liked Voyager.

  • Whiskey Jack

    What the hell is a “cis”? I majored in CIS, but I doubt that’s what you’re talking about. Unless you’ve got something against CIS majors, which is… oddly specific, really. CS majors, sure, they’re jerks. But CIS guys?

  • bassbait

    yes because coincidence equals causation. Still irrelevant because the social justice angle is the idea behind the show’s entire existence. The foundation of the show is social justice.

  • Jason

    Would it be anti-semitic to compare JJ Abrams to a sleazy pawnbroker selling used 70s kitsch at marked-up prices? I sure hope so.

  • Palpatine

    Let’s discuss something else instead. Like how much I freaking love “To Love Somebody” by the Bee Gees.

  • Yes?

  • Grandma

    So do you think they intentionally made her to way more powerful then everyone else? Or were they just rushing the story?

  • bassbait

    Short for Cisgender. Opposite of transgender. You’re probably cisgender for example. It means, assuming you’re a guy, that you have a dick and the doctor said “you’re a guy” and you grew up and later were like “yep I’m a guy for sure”.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Here’s what I think-Frank Lovejoy is going about this with unnecessary hostility but that doesn’t invalidate his point. Everybody here seen the Plinkett prequels reviews. Everybody agreed with Mike pointed out how the movie was casted to get nothing more as wide of an appeal as possible correct? So why is that out of bounds for TFA? Answer me with 100% honesty-do you genuinely think Ridley and Boyega were casted solely beyond their contribution as actors? Do you genuinely think Disney had no say in it?

  • Dunno. Quite possibly. Hopefully, they’ll make her less invulnerable in the next instalments.

  • Marvin Falz

    And since one theme of today’s session is “ass”:

    “Bring them to Ass Four.”

  • bassbait

    Merry ChristmASS

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Mate, I hate the ‘left-wing’ and affirmative action point of view about most issues, specally because I live in a place where that kind of view is predominent and I see the major flaws of it everyday.

    With that being said, maybe except the part where Rey is annoyed because Fynn was taking her hand (that moment my girlfrend laughed and after the film she mentioned the exaggeration of it. “It that was simply a way to try to get Rey’s attention. Women also do that to men.”).

    I fail to see how the politics behind this movie influenced the actual film. Considering that you find casting black people and women as politics, which I don’t. This a regular fun movie. Just a film.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You know, I was writing a long reply, but then I realized I’m actually arguing with someone – probably an adult – who wet their pants to see a 40 year old movie remade with bigger ‘splosions and a few trendy token characters. And that person is attempting to talk down to me.

  • tOmy`

    I am not generally arguing that point, I am just using it as an example of the fact that we still didn’t get solve the racial issue. That’s all.

  • caye74

    Midichlorian infection? She should have that looked at

  • Jason

    There were plenty of leading female roles in Gone With the Wind. Of course they were stereotyped as not having the upper-body strength of a linebacker or the martial arts prowess of a ninja, so clearly a relic from a less sophisticated time.

  • sepiajack

    Well said.

  • Paulus Nuns

    I followed him for a while, obvious RLM fan and quite passionate about movies. But then he started to comment on his furry habits….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__jhz36pQXI

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Damn you, Bass, your Clockwork Orange video is making me think. I ain’t got time for that shit!

  • Sanders Fabares

    I thought it was a terrible death scene. No sacrifice or heroism involved. It felt like it may have worked better if we knew about their past relationship, but we don’t. Han has to know that he is dangerous. Seems out of character the way it went down.

    They never said what planets they were on, which one’s were destroyed, or how the power in the galaxy is set up. Even in the prequels, we knew what planets and systems they went to throughout the course of the film. The prequels, despite the silly lighthearted junk that we all hate– did a great job of telling a straightforward narrative that is easy to follow- even with new characters. In this movie, everyone has wanted to know what happened after Endor– this film did not do a good job of standing on its own and answering that question.

    If Max Von Sydow had been a war hero from the Battle of Endor and taken 5 minutes to talk to Poe at the beginning– could have solved a lot of this right off the bat. He was a wasted character.

    All in all, I felt like the movie depended upon things that we don’t know, tried to capitalize on what we DO know, and had way to many coincidences to stay believable. It was fun, but also had a lot of flaws.

    I thought that Snoke and Maz’s CG treatment was very jarring compared to the rest of the practical FX in the movie. Especially since Snoke is humanoid- why make him CG? Just to get the Sirkis name in there?

  • Frank Lovejoy

    It’s a term used by crazy people who can’t face reality. Let me break it down for you:

    CIS – actual male or female, not pretend like Bruce Jenner
    heteronormative – reflecting the fact that 97% of human relationships are heterosexual

  • Whiskey Jack

    So… someone took the time to come up with a word for you are what you are? Huh. And “cis” is the best they could do? At least make a Popeye reference or something, like “yam”.
    “You yam white men are all aloike”

  • Bubs

    This is the same as saying “I have no real response that doesn’t make me sound like an asshole. So I’ll just insult you.” Well played, random bigot, well played.

  • Marvin Falz

    Voyager isn’t completely unwatchable. I liked the 7of9 character development. Her struggle of becoming an individual who’s used to being merged and lacking a personality with all others of the hive. What it means to be human. Having emotions. All that stuff. Everything else though – not so good for my taste.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You’re right, your response IS exactly the same as that, Caitlyn.

  • sepiajack

    But they’re both great in it! It’s not a matter of it being out of bounds but if a movie is as enjoyable as this there’s no reason to go looking for reasons to hate it. As Mike stated in the dark knight rises review, if your suspension of disbelief is successful because of an entertaining movie that grabs your imagination and likable characters you can root for, than that’s fine. The problem with someone like… Mace Windu for example is there’s really nothing to latch onto about him at all, because he’s not a character, he’s just SLJ in a bathrobe saying awkward lines. Nothing motivates him, he has no personality. The prequels are not more than the sum of their parts, and the parts are mostly not very good.

  • bassbait

    So are you done being angry now?

  • Frank Lovejoy

    The foundation of the show is sci-fi, genius.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Isn’t that what happens in the Matrix sequels? The first Matrix ends with Neo flying and shit, and in the sequels it turns out he isn’t as quite powerful as it was shown, and there’s a lot he need to (re-)learn.

  • sepiajack

    Exactly. I made the mistake of looking at the imdb boards for this movie and it’s just a cesspool of venom

  • Frank Lovejoy

    I’m not angry. I’ve clearly and calmly stated my position. The angry people are the ones who rush to call people racists and bigots.

  • Marvin Falz

    Merry ChristmASS to you too.

  • Trask

    In other news, The Revenant and The Hateful Eight are not even in cinemas and already are there HD copies online. Jack Sparrow works a whole lot faster these days.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    What functional use is there in having a skinny waifish woman as your lead badass Jedi?

  • Django Plimpton

    She’s not a Jedi master. I think Kylo Ren is just a massive poser. It seems like he only really inherited his mother’s passive force powers so he’s only good at reading minds. That’s why his lightsaber is so crude and he can barely fight with it. Snoke was probably holding back on training him fully until he saw that he had the cojones to kill his own father.

  • frankelee

    People arguing over a movie on a website entirely about movies?!?!? I’ll be back… NEVER!

  • Well, the Matrix sequels were shit. Hopefully those won’t be.

  • bassbait

    It’s ok to let off some steam sometimes. It’s ok to take out your frustrations on people over the internet. Do you want a hug?

  • YAARRRRRRR

  • Paulus Nuns

    I think it’s politics, the casting for this movie is the type of decision a comitee would take.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Quick: quote a great, memorable line from this ‘best movie of all time’.
    Quick: cite an action scene that will live on through time. You know, like one that took lots of preparation and the intricate use of models and practical FX.

  • Marvin Falz

    “The Force awakens … in her.” – Mike Stoklasa, filmmaker, Red Letter Media

  • bassbait

    “people are coming on us” – my favorite quote in all of movie history.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Actually … that sounds quite nice.

  • frankelee

    I wish J.J. Abrams wasn’t a bigot. But Santa can’t answer every wish…

  • sepiajack

    So making a movie to appeal to a broad spectrum of people and reflecting the world we actually live in is pandering? Wouldn’t making a movie just so white men feel reassured be pandering?

  • caye74

    Isn’t that always the case in December/January? All those free copies for various annual movie wards

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • bassbait

    I think there might actually be rules on this site against these kinds of comments. Just a heads up. They aren’t down with LGBT-hate at RLM.

  • bassbait

    Everything’s gonna be ok. *hugs*

  • tOmy`

    That’s why Disney didn’t send TFA copy.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Disney is not Warner Bros.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I agree actually. I just think it’s weird-denying the whole pandering thing hollywood has been banking on for a long time just because you liked a single movie.

  • The Ghost

    It seems to me to be a bit of a no-win scenario.

    If they don’t cast them, they’re tone-deaf.

    If they do, they’re pandering.

    We might be the problem in this case.

  • Stop caring? I think that’s the only way.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You’ve actually pinpointed our differences, and it’s not racism or bigotry.

    I go to see movies for story. Story defines characterization.

    You go to see movies to see ‘the society in which I live’ reflected in positive ways, story be damned.

    In your world, Star Wars would never, ever have been written; we’d be watching culturally-cast remakes of Marathon Man and Bullitt forever. That’s really all that needs to be said.

  • Joe O

    What’s the time line on doing the Mr. Plinkett review of Episode VII? Mr.
    Plinkett won’t let us down. He will tell it like it is. That this
    movie is garbage! Oh and for the record I thought it was awful! I
    suspect once you guys have a week or two to think about the movie the
    rose colored glasses will come off and you will loath it. This movie
    was predictable, a rehash of the original Star Wars and nothing but
    special effects fluff. Only Rich Evans gets it. So good on you Rich.
    I will have to send you some pizza roles, and your drink of choice.
    Because trust me buddy you are going to have to get blind drunk to
    forget this awful movie!

  • The Ghost

    Exactly.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    is that from a porno?

  • sepiajack

    But Voyager didn’t tackle any real issues. TNG tackled man, and is considered by many to be the high point of Trek.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I think tumblr is the problem honesty.

    “this movie was shit because it did not represented the entire human race”

    They’re paying customers too you know. And the customer is always right!

  • It’s a Christmas Miracle! (said an atheist)

  • frankelee

    K.

  • The Ghost

    I am all for blaming Tumblr for any and all things.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    People really don’t get it. Ripley was a great hero in Alien, because the story was written that way. Sarah Conner was a great hero in Terminator – the story was written that way. Morpheus was great in The Matrix – the story was written that way.

    This movie is just “let’s redo New Hope with a woman and a black guy”. Just like the Hitcher remake just swapped the sex roles, just like the Thing remake was a pointless switch to a female lead.

  • Grandma

    She seemed to have powers that took Luke several movies to learn, like the mind trick and reading Kylo Ren’s mind. She also overpowered Kylo Ren when she force pulled the lightsaber. And she resisted his mind control.

  • Django Plimpton

    I fully acknowledge that but I still wouldn’t have acted like a dick about it even if I didn’t personally love the characters.

    Plinkett’s complaints about how the prequels tried to draw in a general audience is one of his weaker points, too. A lot of good and entertaining movies are guilty of that.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    And the difference is?

    … the fact that TNG discussed socially relevant topics, while Voyager was a SJW-cast show (female captain – unfortunately played by a charisma vacuum with a voice that makes you want to poke your ears out; embarrassing native American stereotype character, etc.)

    Note, also, that Guinan wasn’t an objectionable character b/c she was played by a terrible actress (who happens to be black), but because Whoopi used influence to get onto a show that didn’t need or want her, and stole all of Troi’s characterization, leaving her as a pair of boobs in a tight shirt).

  • caye74

    I am still waiting on “Bambi – The Revenge of the Zombie Deer – The Reckoning”

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Do you currently attend Yale? Are facts and science ‘triggering’ you?

    For the record though, I do hate you. But it’s because you’re an idiot.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Well, Yoda seems weak, but he was a Jedi master. If you think about it, a fast skinny Jedi makes lots of sense as a combat charactheristic. Let’s hope that the next film exploits that. It was just an introduction.

  • sepiajack

    Yeah it’s great

  • The Ghost

    Simple is always better. So, I don’t know if I’ll ever forget how I felt when Han Solo walked out onto that bridge and said “Ben.” That was some simple, effective movie magic shit.

    You’ve got me beat on the action scene though. I liked the saber fights because they were methodical. I’m also a fencer and was relieved to see that someone had the presence of mind to put a guard on one of those damn things, but that’s neither here nor there.

  • sepiajack

    Why?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Those cheap-ass DTV animated sequels mostly belong to the previous regime. Though, admittedly they needed to train their animators somewhere. It’s also true that then new regime is making those unholy, unnecessary, live-action versions of the animated classics.

  • sepiajack

    Very very well said.

  • eeeh

    This is a historical moment. Thirty years from now youngsters will ask the older generation about the mythical ‘Red Letter Media’, and be told that it’s true. All of it.

  • Whiskey Jack

    I agree with all your points. Also, while I totally hate the Prequels, if you take them as canon, particularly the Sith “Rule of Two” business, then you could argue that with the Emperor, Vader, Yoda and the Jedi gone, Ren and Rey are dividing up the Force between them. So it sort of makes sense that even while untrained, both Ren and Rey are so powerful they can half-ass their powers and still be capable. (And Luke is probably far more powerful than he was in the Original trilogy by this point as well, though we don’t get to see that.)

  • Marvin Falz

    It’s obvious that no-one should take you seriously.

  • Paulus Nuns

    I am afraid that is the case, to be honest is not such a bad thing. White hero was also politics, is a decision being made. I agree with your first point, but I have to say Ripley became the protagonist quite suddenly, as they were polishing the script. That was a great hunch. Cameron idea’s were awesome too….and new.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    It really is an odd situation. If you just cast a normal white guy in the role, you’re “excluding women and people of color”. They feel “left out”. They feel they’re “not represented”. You’re not reflecting the “rich cultural and gender tapestry”. 4/10

    If you make your hero a skinny woman and someone says that doesn’t seem right, SHUT UP BIGOT. 10/10 MOVIE OF ALL TIME.

  • ZeroPtZero

    I thought the fact that he asks Rey who had it meant that he didn’t know where it was at. And he wasn’t out there looking for the Falcon. He was busy transporting CGI tentacle monsters. Which now that I think of it, that kind of takes you out of the movie too. Whoever designed those things must have worked on the prequels.

  • frankelee

    K.

  • caye74

    So, you are taking the “There can be only one” approach? Finite pool of power which can be divided? Nah

  • Django Plimpton

    Well, I also strongly suspect she has already been somewhat trained by Luke but he used a powerful mind trick on her to erase her memory temporarily. The movie kind of implied that Han and Leia know who she is.

  • sepiajack

    Agreed. Jay’s point about the Deathstar 3.0 was the only big problem in the movie for me.

    I think Starkiller base could have just been a First Order staging area where they were building a new fleet of star destroyers to expand their influence.

    The rebels would still need to attack, the first order were already well established at the start of the film as palpable baddies who murder civilians.

    The interior sets of the base were great, so I wouldn’t change any of that, just lose the planetary destructions and the specific reason why the rebels were attacking.

    Otherwise I loved it!

  • sepiajack

    I did! and I had a lot of fun!

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Yes, the left wingers are going nuts over your claims and the representation argument is so bullshit. I’m not black, but as a child I used to love the DC hero Static Shock. I wanted to be like him. If he’d show up the next episode as white male I would complain a lot.

    So my counter argument to yours is not based on the representation of the audience. But my opinion is that it doesn’t make so much sense really. It’s still the first movie, where they did a remake of A New Hope and now I expect they’re moving to something new. I can only hope.

  • Whiskey Jack

    That seemed to be the point of the Sith “There can only be two” rule from the Prequels, that fewer Sith meant more power for each, while the Jedi are numerous and weak compared to the Emperor.

  • Rolls Canhardly

    If force ability can be transmitted like an STD, I’d expect the Jedi to do a lot more fucking.

  • bassbait

    I think they were cast because they are upcoming stars and they wanted to distance themselves from the old cast. They don’t want to draw parallels too much between the old and new, by saying “this is literally just Luke again”. Even on a bare minimum level “this is Luke as a GIRL” is more compelling to an average audience member than “this is just Luke again”. It’s different. It’s fresh. It’s not about appeasing market appeal alone. There’s more going on in films than just cynicism, and representation is not about cynicism.
    There’s a common mistake that people make that white is the *default* when it isn’t. There is no default race. So if race is not a part of his character, then he can be ANY race. If his character specifically needs to be black, he’ll be black, and if he doesn’t need to be black, then why does he all of a sudden need to be white instead? Because people think that, by simply existing as a black character, it’s automatically a political statement. Why does it need to matter that he’s black? If race doesn’t matter with regards to the character, then him being black should be a 100% non-issue.

    Same goes for male, cisgender, straight people. Etc. Automatically, because most people are straight, all characters in movies must be straight and having a gay character is a political statement. Can you imagine being gay and wanting to see a character who you can relate to, and then having everyone complain that something you enjoy is *too political* just because the movie actually acknowledges that you even EXIST?

    I’m a minority with regards to gender and orientation, and I have to see straight cis people all the time in movies. Why is it fair that I have to see that ALL the time, and when other people see non-straight and/or non-cis people on screen, they IMMEDIATELY complain incessantly and start saying that the film is “too political”? Even though they only have to see it one out of every 1,000 films? They only have to put up with it once in a while, meanwhile I only get that release once in a while, while I have to put up with the inverse constantly. I don’t get to have anything to myself because the majority will tell me I’m an asshole for being ok with seeing my team represented. It’s disheartening and that also contributes to why I never watch movies anymore. The movie industry actually cares enough to try to be considerate towards viewers that don’t get to have personal connections to movies because of being minorities. So why complain about that? Because of these mythical “SJW” creatures? How does Finn being black negatively impact the film in any way?

    And I’m not trying to be confrontational with this, I’m just giving you my perspective and hoping that you’ll understand that these “criticisms” of films like this are missing the point. Maybe you’re right from a *marketing* perspective, but from a moral perspective, it’s more complicated than that.

  • sepiajack

    No I don’t think that’s true. I think TFA feels like it was made after JJ watched the plinkett reviews.

    The point of RLM is not to just hate everything for the sake of hating. Mike has liked plenty of things people would assume he’d dislike, and disliked plenty of popular films.

    I don’t agree at all that the plinkett points about the prequels apply here at all. We have a story with quick pacing, likeble protagonists with a goal and motivations, well crafted action that is not overdone, solid fx work, and no awful cringeworthy moments.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Mike made this point with the Star Trek reboot (remember that? Remember all the memorable scenes and lines from that acclaimed-but-forgotten masterpiece? Like … when Spock got mad and punched someone? Or when Kirk was horny?)

    This is how movies are today. When they said they were making a new Star Wars movie, you had to expect this is how it would turn out: pop, forgettable nonsense.

    The frustrating thing is that people think it’s great. Not just “it did well at the box office” great, but biggest movie of all time great. Like Avatar. Remember Avatar? That’s okay, neither does anybody else.

  • Joe O

    Go home you SJW troll. When you don’t like what people say you try to shut them up. The reason the 1st Amendment exists is to stop people like you. Oh and if there is a rule that is being broken cite it, and explain how is being broken. Don’t just say I think there might be a rule… (It’s not like they even used any of your non pc trigger words.) Otherwise go home, and stop with your SJW bullying.

  • sepiajack

    Me too. I had to let it sink in a bit, my wife loved it instantly and wanted to go see it again immediately, I had to let it digest a bit.

    the 3rd deathstar did bug me, and Han coindentally finding them, but now that a day has passed that stuff all seem so minor and I’m just eager to watch it again.

    It’s a 2 hour movie that feels like it’s about 40min long.

  • And then Mike’s estranged child who works for George Lucas or Disney will kill him.

  • frankelee

    It does disappoint when you comment on the internet, and then are reminded only morons and tools are on there with you, commenting back. And the comments are dumb. And then you realize getting into this whole internet thing was a terrible mistake.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Bear in mind that after the reboot of Star Trek they swore up and down they weren’t going to remake Wrath of Khan, then they did, and even the people who thought the terrible first remake (IT’S A SABOTAAAAGE!) was great hated the sequel.

  • Palpatine

    Spoilers, bro!

  • Grandma

    That’s possible. And I’m guessing she’s Luke’s daughter.

  • sepiajack

    well said. and the more things you get right, the less the things you got wrong matter.

    If attack of the clones had a superb story and engaging characters, the CGI stormtroopers would still look fake, but it would bother us a lot less.

    The dark knight rises actually has a scene so sloppy that it goes from morning to night in the space of a 5min chase scene, but who cares when you’re having this much fun?

  • Like Icare

    On a bridge built across a chasm, with no railings. While everything around the chasm has railings.

    Whatcha gonna do. It’s tradition.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Bruce Willis was a ghost all along. And so was Matthew Mcconaughey.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Careful what you wish for – one of them will be bound to star Chris Pratt.

  • Jesus dies on a cross.

  • caye74

    Urgh, I mind bleached the prequels, completely forgot about that, was that really said in movies? Or it could be taken as Jedi are more willing to work together and Sith are dirty bastards not playing well with others so they can very well kill each other so they do not have any power struggle within ranks?

  • Palpatine

    Poetry it is like, rhymes it does.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’d welcome a reality series set at Mos Eisley just so I could write threatening letters to its producers.

  • sepiajack

    Very nicely put, you saved me a lot of typing to say the same thing.

  • caye74

    Therefore monk like life, lol

  • Whiskey Jack

    And to be fair, we haven’t really seen much in the movies with untrained force-sensitives either. There’s Anakin, and sort of Luke, both who (off-screen with Luke and on-screen with Anakin) show at least some superhuman abilities. Anakin podraces and can fix things, and maybe has some ability to read minds (that test the Jedi Council puts him through guessing images on the ipad), and Luke is mentioned to have raced and be a very good pilot. He has basically no training in the first film, but can make an impossible shot to kill the DS, and fly an X-wing as well as trained pilots.

    So it’s hard to say for sure what happens to force-users who aren’t fully trained. I assume, from the flashback and references in the movie, that Rey is a survivor from Luke’s failed attempt to restart the Jedi Order. She was a training ‘youngling’ until Ren killed everyone. She seems about the right age too. And as you say, probably had her memory erased until she triggered it when she touched the lightsaber.

  • The Ghost

    All very fair points, I agree with the Max Von Sydow part in particular.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    He does? Well I guess I can stop reading Return of The King then.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’m sure the story of the moisture farmers is rich with lore and legend. Forward slash sarcasm.

  • caye74

    No he doesn’t, he lived happily ever after with women he loved

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Dude, chill.

  • bassbait

    I hope I’ve been clear that this is truly a line said in The Force Awakens. I may be mis-remembering the line but I remember making a mental note that Han Solo, at the part where they’re about to invade the death star and are on the ground near some metal structure, he says “people are coming on us. The galaxy is coming on us.” He might have said “coming after us” but I could *swear* he said “coming on us”, which makes it the most hilarious Star Wars line since “I don’t like sand”

  • Django Plimpton

    I think so too but plot-wise it doesn’t even matter who her parents are. We know that she is considerably force-sensitive and she already has the motivation to try and defeat Kylo and the First Order. Plus Luke is totally gay.

  • caye74

    Oh! Like r2d2! She is a robot! Ex machina! That’s why Isaac is there! To take revenge!

    #streamofconciousness
    #don’task

  • “It’s true… all of it”
    All the actions sequences were great, I can’t pick one specifically. I’m not sure why models and practical effects are a necessary component to your question, they used a mix of digital and practical effects perfectly, with practical effects for the creatures and slower scenes and more digital effects when models would have been impracticable i(like that amazing Millennium Falcon shot).

  • Whiskey Jack

    Heavily implied, I think, but probably not said explicitly that that was what the rule was meant to do. But there is strong evidence in the films that the Emperor and his Apprentice collectively are as powerful as the Jedi Order as a whole. Namely that the Emperor can continuously “cloud the minds” of the Jedi, even Yoda, who is obviously the most powerful of the Order.

  • sepiajack

    They smartly played it safe this time around, because this movie essentially cost $4billion to make, it has to not just be successful it has to open the door to more SW for the investment to be worthwhile, and they had a HUGE uphill battle to win people back after the prequels.

    Jay is completely right, the next one has a lot more to live up to because they need to take some chances on that one. It needs to be not a remake of Empire, but to expand the canvas of SW the way Empire did back in 1980.

  • sepiajack

    Agreed. People just want to hear negativity, but RLM has always been against internet hyperbole,

    Mike and Jay don’t hold back when they hate something, if they had negative stuff to say about this movie, I trust that they would have.

    Hell it’s better clickbait for them if they did.

    I think it’s fitting that after 100 HitB Mike finally got the good SW sequel he wanted. And I really believe the plinkett reviews did influence TFA. The finger prints of Mike’s reviews of the prequels are all over the new movie, and I imagine will continue to be.

  • sepiajack

    Well put.

  • bassbait

    spoiler alert, jesus!

  • sepiajack

    I see it more like Rocky Balboa. Rocky Balboa has largely the same plot as Rocky. Does that make it bad?

    TFA is the rocky balboa of Star wars.

    I think if anything it adds resonating power. You have to consider the years in between too, it’s been nearly 40 years since ANH.

    If you ignore the prequels (and I do!) then this is the first SW film since 1983, that’s 32 years!

  • sepiajack

    Absolutely 100% to both your points.

    the new characters are key. there has never been a SW character like Rey, or Finn or Kylo Ren.

    I actually really liked General Hux too, I thought he was interesting. I liked that he and Kylo don’t get along at all.

    Poe dameron and BB8 were a lot of fun.

    Going forward they need to go into new uncharted stories. I’m confident they will because they have such new dynamic characters which beg for exactly that.

  • Whiskey Jack

    Most likely, though that it seems a little too obvious, so they might try a “twist” and have her just be some random girl with who was strong in the Force.

    If Rey is Luke’s daughter, I hope they introduce Mara Jade at some point. Mara might be Captain Phasma for all I know, though that character was so underused, I doubt it. But if the next film opens with Phasma pulling herself out of a trash-compactor, that somehow survived the explosion of the planet at the end of TFA, and she takes off her helmet to reveal long red hair, then we’ll know.

  • sepiajack

    Yeah, and I also just think it must take forever to put a plinkett review together, why bother if the film doesn’t beg for it.

  • Marvin Falz

    Spoilers!

  • A. N. Kievsky

    I’ve had the same feeling with several critically acclaimed movies. For instance, Skyfall. Everyone seemed to love that piece of shit. To me, it was two hours of annoyance and boredom.

  • Percy Gryce

    Percy’s précis:

    (1) Enjoyed it overall.
    (2) The Starkiller Base was terrible.
    (3) I called that Han Solo died–so +1 for Percy Gryce.
    (4) The plot was too close to Star Wars.
    (5) But the ending–which was really different from anything in the original trilogy–was great.

  • frankelee

    I mean honestly, all this guy did was list characteristics you could infer from the characters’ situation and roles and list them out. What’s retarded about it is that you can do that same thing for The Phantom Menace, and I guess disprove everything Mike had to say about them. Here, see for yourself:

    Qui Gon: Dutiful, wise, a tactful negotiator, patient, caringly paternal.
    Obi Wan: Youthful, thoughtful, obedient yet slightly headstrong as he transitions from apprentice to full Jedi Knight (what a fantastic dramatic polarity for the character!).
    Queen Amidala – Responsible, very concerned for her people and caring for those around her, sad, appreciative, dignified.
    Anakin: Adventurous, ingenious, excitable, talented, curious.
    Darth Maul: Business-like and no-nonsense, dedicated, Type-A, highly competent, callous, sometimes cruel.
    Nute Gunray: Officious, detached, in his own head too much, improvisational and not a great planner, ambitious.
    The Hologram Ordering the Bad Guys Around: Dangerous, aloof, self-concerned, very my-way-or-the-highway in his interpersonal interactions, calculating.
    A Random Battle Droid: Clumsy, zany, doesn’t think for himself enough, loyal, unwavering.

    There see! Mr. Plinkett needs to check his intellectual abilities too ’cause he doesn’t know anything about movies to think those Phantom Menace characters were dull and flat! It’s just nobs to talk to on here…

  • caye74

    The legend says they are still on the mountain fixing VCR, and they shall return in our lifetime with piza rols

  • Palpatine

    I hope RLM reviews Silent Night, Deadly Night: Part 2 for the Christmas BotW.

  • caye74

    (3) honestly, I think half of the internet guessed that
    (5) because of helicopter shot?

  • sepiajack

    Well I love that movie, but I agree that it negatively affected a lot of other stuff. That’s often the case. I love jurassic park but one could argue it ruined blockbusters for popularizing CGI.

    At the end of the day I think it makes more sense to blame the bad knockoffs then the good thing they are knocking off.

  • bassbait

    I called a few things actually. The Han Solo death was one. Finn being almost killed off but not being killed was another. Starkiller base being destroyed was another one. I even called, pretty early on in the film that the final shot of the film would be Luke, and he wouldn’t show up until then.

    Those were all pretty obvious though.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I appreciate your sentiment-you obviously speak from experience and like I said-I had zero issues with Finn and Rey because the actors did their job well.But to me that’s a perfectly legitimate complaint and I’ll defend people expressing it. Whether you’re making entertainment or art(or both because they are not exclusive)story has to be number one priority.And representation to me rarely gets to be used in the same sentence as good storytelling. You seen my blog and my Tangerine review right? At the end of the movie I was able to get attached to the characters,to get where they are coming from and to relate to them-that’s because the writter/director humanized them.He tapped into universal feelings and the chracters being transgender did not impacted that one way or another. You can relate them even if you’re as far away removed from their day-to-day being as possible.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    Your comment gave me cancer. Well played! The surgeon is about to extract my colon. Wish me luck!

  • Jason Ross

    The end of this video looked like it was edited by the man who made the first Hulk.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    that helicopter shot was disgusting.

  • Percy Gryce

    (5) because of helicopter shot?

    No, because it was wordless, ambiguous, and open-ended.

  • Quotidian, Man

    I really want to see the look on George Lucas’ face when he watches the Force Awakens at his private theater. “Oh… oh… that’s how you make a Star Wars movie. I guess it’s okay.” I can only imagine how much shame he feels and then tries to rationalize it by blaming the fans and trying to find flaws in the Force Awakens to make himself feel better.

  • Joe O

    Roger that Rich. It’s the almost lawyer in me I guess. LOL Thanks for all you do! RLM has made getting through law school bearable and something to look forward to.

  • “I would rather that they, you know, have new ideas.”
    Then perhaps Starwars isn’t the right franchise for you, considering the “original” film was hardly original.
    I was watching a retro interview with Mark Hamill the other day where he described the story of Starwars (1977) as “only so much nonsense to hang a great visual experience on” and he was right then and he’s right today.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    It has so many layers

  • Oh but there’s a twist!

  • caye74

    Like ESB ending?

    Sorry, I do not try to come off as a troll 🙂 Just had few beers and making havoc in the comments

  • Marvin Falz

    He comes back. And he promised to come back yet again.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    Yes, because there were so many spaceships in Akira Kurosawa’s movies – damn you Lucas for copying Kurosawa’s space designs!

  • sepiajack

    Yes, I think what it did lead to was the overly dark serious take on beloved iconic heros. Which DOES work with batman, but unfortunately gets applied to characters where it doesn’t like Spiderman, superman, star trek, etc

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Uhm no it was not? Luke had dementia. That’s why he failed to recognize his own daughter.I hear episode 8 will be called:The Retirment Home Strikes Back

  • Palpatine

    What’s the twist? One of his Disciples took his place?

  • Milton Dammers

    They’ve been working on Space Cop… But Mike just looks like he wants to stop doing these. Wish you well Mr Stoklosa!

  • sepiajack

    but… but… this is the internet????

  • Django Plimpton

    Rich doesn’t drink you dummy.

  • Jason Ross

    He watches it, rolls a joint in a 1,000-dollar bill, smokes it and rings a bell to receive his next prime rib dinner. Unfazed.

  • Prince Solomon

    well he won’t have any difficulty to find lots of flaws…

    rather a somewhat original idea that doesn’t quite work out well (prequels) instead of a blatant beat for beat copy-paste mess ( TFA )

  • My friend who works at Disney says their planned release slate for the foreseeable future is:
    1 Starwars Film
    2 Marvel Films
    1 Pixar Animated Film
    1 Disney Animated Film
    1 Original* Live-Action Film

    *Probably a remake of an early animated film

    That will mean 50% of there output is those two franchises (in fact last year their Disney animated film came from a Marvel property).

  • A. N. Kievsky

    Yes, Lucas totally lifted those X-Wing and Chewbacca designs from The Hidden Fortress! And Tie fighters/the matte backgrounds/hyperspace look? That’s just copied from Campbell’s book “The hero in hyperspace”

  • caye74

    Jesus! It’s Terminator all over again #facepalm We barely get rid of that one

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Oh, I do apologize. My manners seem to have left me momentarily. (cough cough) Go fuck a pig corpse, you lovely loser!

    I think that went rather well.

  • He comes back and something akin to The Man of Steel happens. Only then the world ends.

  • Marvin Falz

    Oh no! And both are sent to help destroy the world.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    You seem to have a chubby for James Cameron. You must have loved Avatar.

  • frankelee

    I didn’t even realize he was a pussy. Just goes to show, the man is talented.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    I can rant forever about unnecessary reboots, too.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    #HanYOLO

  • A. N. Kievsky

    You must be a lot of fun at parties.

  • Marvin Falz

    But the – true – believers of Christ will be picked up by a large space ship and then fly with God himself into spaaaaaaace …

  • As a game though I remember the first one being less buggy and much better balanced.
    I remember giving up on the second one, not because I disliked the story but because the gameplay just wasn’t working for me but since then I’ve replayed the first one several times.
    I’ve heard there are patches and fan-made mods that make the sequel more playable.

  • Percy Gryce

    No worries. Enjoy your beer.

    But, no, the ESB ending doesn’t include a confrontation between characters whose relationship (if any) is unknown. Plus with ESB we know there will be a Luke-Vader confrontation. I don’t know what the resolution of all these threads will be.

  • sepiajack

    I am starting to think that a lot of who the vocal group is that seems angry about this movie are the people who actually liked the prequels, and so they are effectively feeling the crush that everyone else felt when the prequels came out.

    But I don’t feel bad about that, because caring about Dooku’s style 2 saber technique, darth bane, KOTOR, battle meditation or whatever other pointless minutiae they value over character development and story arcs seems silly to me.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Glad to hear that, mate (my family has a law school background, so I can relate to that). But, I’m not Rich Evans haha. Just a regular fan, really. .

  • Palpatine

    I know.

  • Percy Gryce

    If you take the ending away from me, I’ll have to say I didn’t really care for this movie.

  • Jason Ross

    So, as it turns out, this movie wasn’t Star Wars: Muh Dik as all of Reddit feared.

  • I couldn’t tell after watching Pre-Rec.

  • Kaingerc

    SPOILER, i guess, fuck you!

    Rich got it half right, in the books, Han and Leia’s daughter did save her twin brother from the dark side…. by putting a fucking lightsaber through his chest.

  • Joe O

    That’s ironic. I don’t drink either. LOL Well I said drink of your choice… So a sugar high on energy drinks could work too. Maybe 10 Monster Energy drinks chased down with a couple of Red Bulls and Five Hour energy drinks. Whatever he drinks it is going to take a lot to forget that awful movie.

  • Jason Ross

    I’m sure elderly Mike will film another episode featuring kidnapped children forced to recite lines from cards like that other time.

  • sepiajack

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine vs The Wolverine

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s below your stature. Those rap battles you had with M.Bisone had more creativity then…this.

  • sepiajack

    Yes those 2 are both great,

    Man that was a brutal summer for movies…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    keep this and I’m gonna give you fellatio

  • bassbait

    well, let me clarify. Here’s where representation does and doesn’t work –

    Full Metal Jacket. Great film. Fucking masterpiece. There are no women in the military in the first scenes of the film. Why? Because representation doesn’t trump historical accuracy in that case. The film didn’t need representation because the film had themes that were specifically non-representative. Meanwhile, Alien is a film that is explicitly feminist or at least feminine in nature, it deals with themes of rape and child-bearing trauma, which requires a female lead. And there’s also the twist that the female is the lead which was a subversion back at the time. So Alien needed representation in that sense. She could have been black or white and it wouldn’t have mattered, but she HAD to be female in that film. Because without that, the film is no longer what it’s setting out to do.

    So representation is necessary in some cases, and detrimental in other cases. But what about Star Wars? My argument is that it’s completely neutral. And if it’s neutral from an artistic perspective, then I think it’s good to incorporate it from a marketing and inclusiveness perspective. I can’t help but see those complaints as nothing more than complaining that people who aren’t *you* (not you DSCW, but “you” as in the people making the complaint, when they do make those complaints) are getting some time out in the sun. This is not a bad thing unless it serves as a detriment to the movie. If an actor is exceptionally terrible then yea. If casting them accidentally makes the film racist or sexist or whatever, then yea. Etc etc etc. I think it’s fine that John Boyega is in one of the lead roles and Rey is in the other one. I think it’s an overall good thing. It has light positive artistic impact, because it helps make the world more believable. If literally every character was a white guy or an alien, it would make suspension of disbelief more difficult, whereas having the variety of characters makes it more believable because that’s how life is. It’d be absurd to assume that in all stories ever told, the hero was a white guy. That’s called “whitewashing” and it happens even at the expense of historical accuracy (and *constantly*). Whitewashing is an artistic detriment just as much as casting a black guy to play Abraham Lincoln is.

    The point that Plinkett was making about race wasn’t that it was lame that they cast a black man in Star Wars. It was that Samuel L Jackson was not good for the role, but Lucas hired him for business sensibility while exploiting a minority group’s market appeal. The same point can not be made of Boyega who does a good job and whose character is not in any way an exploitation of black people. It’s better to look at individual cases and save the battles for when it’s actually necessary, like when they whitewash historical events (for example, Stonewall was a movie that came out or is coming out about the gay rights movement, and the gay rights movement historically was started by black/latina trans women, and in the movie version it was white cis gay men). But nobody who complains about black people in Star Wars are also going to complain about white people in historical re-tellings about people who weren’t white. And *that* is the problem here. This should be a non-issue in the case of Star Wars, and the fact that it is an issue is very petty and should be beneath all of us at this point.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    EPISODE 100, FUCKERS!!!!!!!

    I can feel a Plinkett review coming … because I’m Force-sensitive.
    Seriously, I’m allergic. Please don’t use the Force around me or I might break out.

  • Prince Solomon

    (1) good for you, no seriously 😉
    (2) you mean Deathstar 3.0
    (3) everybody who saw Kenobi getting killed in Episode 4 saw Han’s death coming a mile away when he entered that bridge
    (4) the plot was a beat for beat copy of Ep4 with elements of 5 & 6
    (5) no it wasn’t really different from the somewhat downbeat Ep5 ending were things remained unresolved and the fate of certain main character/s unclear

  • The Ghost

    Amen to that. Mike’s point in the video about the force and the Jedi no longer about being in some kind of sterile training facility is one of my favorites. It’s now back to being an internal, spiritual thing. A CHARACTER thing.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    Notwithstanding my prior argument (which you haven’t addressed yet) are you saying that Citizen Kane is a popular movie? I would counter with: it’s a very well reviewed movie and a meme, but only a tiny minority of people have actually sat to watch it all the way through at least once – it’s not exactly Transformers, buddy.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    HAN SHOULD HAVE SHOT FIRST.

  • bassbait

    it was great because it left us off at a moment where we have an idea of what will happen next, but the main story of the film had been resolved. It’s true to the serial format that Star Wars had always intended, much like Empire’s ending. Only problem? What is the next film’s title crawl going to say? Is it just going to re-cap the last film? Or are we going to skip ahead a few months or years?

  • A. N. Kievsky

    I have long ago made peace with my Dionysian side. Have you?

  • bassbait

    knowlo*

  • bassbait
  • caye74

    Luke will train Rey and she will have confrontation with Goth boy?
    I know what you are getting at, it just didn’t strike me as significant scene, they filmed it as some major moment, but it didn’t feel like it at all. Now, Luke looking at his mechanical hand and then out of the window with Leia as Falcon is leaving the space station is striking

  • Kaingerc

    and now the original which this game totally ripped off:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQJDrohLoOw

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Then the older generation gets killed by a young, angsty fanboy?

  • Percy Gryce

    I enjoyed the first half and was about to hate it because of Starkiller Base, but the ending I liked. Not simply because there were unresolved plot threads, but because of the wordless confrontation between Rey and Luke.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You won me over with alien+fmj comparasion. Great picks. But yes like most things in life it’s a case by case thing.

  • sepiajack

    But if everything is pandering, than nothing is. That’s just what casting a movie is.

    By casting your movie with actors you think are right for the parts and your audience will connect with than you are pandering, but what else is there?

    The runner up to play Finn was the guy who played Todd the nazi on Breaking Bad. So clearly they weren’t only looking for black Finns.

  • Prince Solomon

    yeah a very predictiable movie, i was kinda baffled that quite a few shots from trailers didn’t end up in the film… was there any talk of an extended edition ? like with LotR/Hobbit films?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    General Constipated Face Hux and Poe “Llewyn” Dameron almost reunite from Ex Machina! 😀

  • caye74

    I don’t believe that for a second, he strikes me as a vain man and probably will be burning inside. At least a bit

  • bassbait

    There are heroes on both sides. Just ask Jorge.

  • Percy Gryce

    Well, yes, but I got to relive my 11-year-old wonderment for a few brief moments. Cut an old man some slack.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    Confirmed for troll

  • Heroine?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Did anyone ‘blow this thing and go home’?

  • Sucker!

  • bassbait

    it’s hard to subvert my expectations at this point. Last film to do it was Lost Highway.

    But even so, they had to stick with an element of predictability to play it safe. Next film I hope they don’t play it safe. Empire was what we got last time they took a risk.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Was the opening shot of TFA really an homage of the abstract art poster “Beat the Whites with the Red Wedge”? That’s the first thing I thought when I saw it and I was somewhat impressed … and then the rest of the film happened.

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5f/Artwork_by_El_Lissitzky_1919.jpg

  • Prince Solomon

    okay i’m glad it worked for you. i found it rather weird shot, it could’ve been an effective scene but the camera angles, Rey’s monotone facial expression and the underwhelming score kinda ruined it… and then it simply fades to credits.

    Oh btw, take a quick look at this: http://i.imgur.com/JPy1a0B.jpg

    Yeah talking about the score…i can’t remember a single outstanding musical piece hmmm didn’t realize that until now. The trailers had amazing music though.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    This time Gleeson gets to chew the scenery though.

    #nominate him for an oscar

  • Percy Gryce

    Yes, the visuals of the ending weren’t great, but the ambiguity as opposed to the shot-for-shot call-backs to the original movie was striking.

  • Kaingerc

    they forgot to mention the even more obvious than the original Nazi imagery(now, complete with Nazi salute)

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/11/23/09/2EB92F2F00000578-0-image-m-3_1448272602707.jpg

  • Tom Erv

    I agree with you. If I could connect to these people more, then it wouldn’t matter what skin color or genitalia they had between their legs. The problem is when more superficial issues get in the way of deeper universal human issues. I don’t mean to demean anyone, but I do think that humanizing people is more important than making social commentary. Social commentary makes movies argumentative in mindset — polarizing, sometimes funny depending on what your viewpoint it — whereas eliciting the humanity in people unifies the audience with the characters.

  • bassbait

    funny because while I enjoyed the ending, it was a huge after-thought for me. The main stuff I liked was the stuff on Jakku. All of it.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    No, no. It has nothing to do with you. It’s a war cry: “‘Straya cunt!”

  • Percy Gryce

    Fair enough. If Luke simply trains Rey, then, yes, you’re right. Maybe I’m just hoping against hope for something different.

  • Prince Solomon

    nah it’s not the Roman Salute (yeah Nazis used it too) it’s just raising your fist… that has been used by many many people throughout the history

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Wait so the Jedi are jews?

    order66=holocaust

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    I think most responses to @Frank Lovejoy got was because of the representation argument which to me is a fallacy. As you’ve said he went overboard with that hostility and that may got him a bad name. But his points are legitimate I just don’t agree with them because to me the actors did their jobs fine.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Yeah remember they even tried to gas them in Phantom Menace.

  • sepiajack

    Yeah the Jakku stuff was the highlight for me, and all the stuff INSIDE starkiller base I loved too, and the saber battle.

    If the base had been a star destroyer shipyard instead of a super weapon, then the plot could have been the same but the solarnightbomb wouldnt be in it

    that’s really my only issue with it, and the score was nothing special, but Harry Potter aside JW hasn’t done anything really memorable (for me) since Jurassic Park so that’s not surprise.

  • caye74

    We all are #puttingonabraveface

  • sepiajack

    And Luke’s haunted face… Makes me excited for the next one

  • Palpatine

    I thought Watto was a Jew?

  • bassbait

    it’s not social commentary just because black people and women are in Star Wars. That’s the big problem that people make with complaining about representation. Do black people make social commentary just by existing? If not, then it’s unfair to say that a movie is making social commentary by acknowledging that black people exist. If you like the characters it should be regardless of race or gender unless those things explicitly inform their characters in a positive way. If you dislike the characters it should be regardless of race or gender unless those things explicitly inform their characters in a negative way.

    You’re not going to say “I would have liked Finn, but he’s too black”. If that’s not your issue with the character, then no reason to complain about it.

  • Palpatine

    He gets it from his father, Brendan Gleeson.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    Where exactly did you see that? He just seemed annoyed and constipated.

  • Percy Gryce

    This video is NOT SAFE FOR CHRISTMAS.

  • Kaingerc

    my point is that it’s close enough that it evokes the imagery.

  • Domo

    Jay probably saw that scene and went “I hope my beard looks that great when I turn 64.”

  • Domo

    Tell em to be cool bout Christmas safety!

  • Quotidian, Man

    Break out into a dance fight!

  • A. N. Kievsky

    The one where Jay dresses up as Dan from Prisoners of the Lost Universe and meets Richard Hatch.

  • bassbait

    Jurassic Park was my least favorite soundtrack of his. The prequels were a good soundtrack regardless of the quality of the films.

    I loved the stuff inside the base and the saber battle too. The only stuff I really didn’t care for was the trench battle and only because it felt like an after-thought to a movie that didn’t feel like it needed to be about another destruction of another death star. Interestingly enough I have this same complaint about A New Hope. It may have been more coherent if the film ended with them escaping the Death Star, before all of the X-wing trench run stuff came in.

  • Tom Erv

    I’m not at all saying that I dislike the characters, especially not about them being female or male or black or white or whatever. What I’m talking about is the content of the movie.

  • sepiajack

    There’s often no railing in SW

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The Base was originally called ‘Skywalker’ Base but they decided to change it in one of the drafts.

    Also, I only realized it was called Starkiller Base after the film when my friend read me some synopsis.

    Can anyone tell me where Starkiller Base was during the final battle scene? Was it in a different system? Was it in the same system as whatever planet the Resistance was on? If it was the same system, wouldn’t sucking up a whole star really fuck with the orbit of the Resistance planet? How could Han and company see the planets being blow up in another system?

    Am I thinking too much? 🙁

  • dogsandsoccer

    Unfortunately, that’s just what I expected. All the good writers are writing television these days.

  • And the Jedi Council is effectively a giant Jewpacabra?

  • sepiajack

    Well Mike is Mr. Plinkett, so what he said in this review is Mr. Plinkett’s take on it.

    You do understand Plinkett is fictional, yes?

  • Robby

    So I gather from the YouTube comments that people are both angry that these guys liked the movie, and angry that they didn’t praise specific scenes enough. Damn it feels good to not really give a shit about Star Wars movies.

  • Domo

    You’re slowly turning into George Lucas.

    It’s what happens when you get successful after film school. You’ll have a film about the taxation of trade routes in no time.

  • Prince Solomon

    the whole Empire/First Order was designed with the Nazis in mind, it’s well documented. there is nothing new about that

  • Percy Gryce

    Yup.

  • A. N. Kievsky

    You are voting with your feet, buddy. Enjoy Transformers 5.

  • bassbait

    well you were agreeing with someone saying that representation getting in the way of a movie is a legitimate complaint, when my point is that complaints should disregard race and gender unless that is explicitly the cause of a problem with the content of the movie. Any sort of marketing background decision is irrelevant. Sammy J fucking sucks in the star wars prequels. I don’t care about representation he’s just bad in those movies. I can make that complaint without having to complain about anything behind the scenes. And that’s where I take the issue I guess, that a “legitimate complaint” can be about something that has no impact on the actual film. It’s almost a non-sequitur to say “I take issue with people being represented because it ruined the movie!” – no it didn’t. A bad actor ruined the movie. Or a bad performance, or a bad character.

  • Palpatine

    Hey, that’s an Internet comment section for you!

  • Django Plimpton

    especially the first order. they’re a highly militaristic regime bent on regaining the previous generation’s glory and seeking revenge on the entities that took it from them.

  • sepiajack

    Quick, which movie are we saying is the best movie of all time?

    If you’re talking about TFA, I concur with Ghost about “Ben!”, I also loved “Droid please!” “Why does everyone always want to go back to Jakku?”

    action scenes:
    The light saber fight, the falcon escape from Jakku, the rebel rescue on maz’s planet. I dunno, all the action was great so it’s hard to pick just one

  • Robby

    Are you behind it all?

  • Domo

    Rich Evans finished jerking off his droid.

    Now what do I have to live for?

  • This isn’t the movie I was waiting for. Really disappointing to hear that it’s basically ANH. I feel no need to see TFA until Ep 8 is out (hopefully with new stuff). And Luke barely makes an appearance? Yeesh.

  • bassbait

    they had to travel at hyper speed in order to make it to the starkiller base. So clearly it was not the same system. Remember the scene? When they had to be traveling at light speed or whatever in order to move through the shields? That was a really great idea honestly.

  • Domo

    He is only 5’3″.

    So it’s probably true.

  • Percy Gryce

    Let me put it this way: I was less bothered by the way that The Force Awakens was derivative of Star Wars than I was by the way that Fury Road was derivative of The Road Warrior.

  • The Ghost

    There was a Transformers 4?

  • Robby

    I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HOW AMAZING BOYHOOD IS!!!!!!1!!1!

  • Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As ‘Fun, Watchable’
    http://www.theonion.com/video/trekkies-bash-new-star-trek-film-as-fun-watchable-14333

  • Prince Solomon

    yeah and i was hoping the Empire (’cause the First Order is nothing else) would be quite victorious in the beginning of this new trilogy and things would look pretty bad for the rebellion (the Nazi warmachine was extremely effective in the beginning and later they luckily got blasted to pieces… by a proton torpedo!)

  • Palpatine

    Well, the YouTube comment section I made angry. This comment section is cool.

  • Percy Gryce

    Well, this I know, I’ve had more enjoyment out of Red Letter Media than I have out of anything Star Wars since ESB.

    Cheers to Mike & Jay. And Richevans.

  • sepiajack

    But isn’t that sort of stuff left to imagination, and a rich backstory the backbone of what made the original trilogy so great?

    I think they could have gone a step further and called this Episode 10, and just don’t have an episode 7, 8, 9. The same way originally the SW trilogy was 4-6 with no intention to make 1-3, it was just a huge serial you were being plopped in the middle.

    One of the problems the prequels had was they didn’t have a back story of their own.

    According to JJ the big thing he learned from Kasdan was to not stop and explain everything, to leave gaps for the audience to fill in with their imagination

  • bassbait

    I’ve made the comparison in my head a million times that The Force Awakens is the Fury Road of the series. But Idk, I don’t think it’s that derivative of Road Warrior. Certainly the bad guy and his crew were derivative, as well as the “let’s drive a tanker to drive the plot”, but other than that, there were some very significant differences, and Mad Max as a series has always had villains that had big crews of people,

  • Prince Solomon

    Cheers to that!!!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    To me Fury Road is like The Road Warrior Miller wanted to make except he didn’t had the skills,money or crew back then.

  • Prince Solomon

    and did you even know that it took 12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! years to make???

  • Domo

    And Fuckbot 5000.

    (I think he’s Santa Claus.)

  • No but there were science fiction movies.
    His great “original” concept was a mash-up and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. In the same way there’s nothing wrong with this being a mash-up of the Original Trilogy.

  • bassbait

    That’s just about exactly how it felt to me. When I first saw Fury Road I felt like I had seen it before, but then when I revisited Road Warrior I remembered how minimalist, almost to a point of detriment, it was.

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s true to the serial format that Star Wars had always intended

    Well said.

  • sepiajack

    Luke blew up the deathstar even though he had never flown a space ship before that battle.

    The force makes people amazing at whatever they set their minds too. Rey came into her own gradually over the movie.

    People complain about how she knew the jedi mind trick, but she learned that from Kylo because he tried to use it on her, and she turned the tables on him.

    As Mike said, the notion of jedi being trained to fight with lightsabers is stupid, Luke never had any lightsaber training either but faced vader. The force guides them.

    Also we saw Rey fight with her staff several times.

  • Prince Solomon

    and do you think that he gives his victims a magic “erase my memory” potion that Merlin creates for him?

  • Kaingerc

    I AM ANGRY AT YOU NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT THIS MOVIE!

  • Robby

    12 YEARS??? I DON’T KNOW IF I’LL LIVE THAT LONG

  • sepiajack

    Yes, Kylo is a poser. Rey is the real deal

  • bassbait

    that joke is so old it’s next to fucking dinosaur bones.

  • caye74

    Poor souls, they got scr*wed so hard by JJ it’s not even funny…

  • Percy Gryce

    But that’s just it, isn’t it? The Phantom Menace was the Star Wars Lucas wanted to make except he didn’t have the skills, money, or crew back then.

    Oftentimes, less is more. Art through adversity. Etc., etc.

  • The Ghost

    It all seemed fairly obvious to me, based on actions the character took, things he said, and the way he reacted to problems.

  • bassbait

    I agree heavily. Very heavily. Except that films should be evaluated individually, and in the case of George “not a hack” Miller, it worked very well.

  • Palpatine

    AND I’M ANGRY AT YOU BECAUSE YOU LIKED THIS MOVIE!!!

  • Django Plimpton

    i kinda felt like taking out 4 republic worlds just by pressing a button was their version of the blitz.

  • sepiajack

    You have it right. it’s not that there is limited The Force to go around, the sith just know that if there are 3 or more of them they will all start conspiring against each other. 2 prevents that from happening, which is why as soon as Luke is thrown into the mix vader and palpatine turn against each other

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Don’t get me wrong-The Road Warrior is a good/great movie. But for me Fury Road is better in almost every way. It’s like he put everything he ever learned about filmmaking and perfected his vision of Mad Max with this film. Miller is not an OCD manchild that’s for sure.

  • sepiajack

    I ignore the prequels, and I think disney is also in all but officially disavowing them which would piss off Lucas who owns 40% share of Disney

  • Are you saying they unearthed it in Jurassic World?

  • Tom Erv

    Outside influences totally affect the content of movies. When I think the movie is being affected by Harrison Ford’s age or wanting to be out of Star Wars, I get a little angry, because I think that the movie could have been better if not for X arbitrary reason. I had a lot of issues with the references to other Star Wars movies, especially when Han said that they’ve got a Death Star, only bigger, because it’s a sarcastic reference to what the writer knows the audience is going to think. I don’t want these things interfering with the movie; I want the movie to be self-contained.

  • Prince Solomon

    good one!!!

  • sepiajack

    Leia is questionable, but Han sure didn’t seem to recognize her, he was ready to ditch her when they first met

  • Palpatine

    So George always wanted a scene of a space camel cutting a huge fart in a retarted cartoon rabbit’s face but he didn’t have the money or skills to do so? Wow.

  • Percy Gryce

    Apparently so.

  • Palpatine

    Yes, right next to Bryce Dallas Howard’s house on the island.

  • Percy Gryce

    I will rewatch Fury Road–if St. Nicholas brings me the DVD, and a DVD player, and a 50″ HD TV.

  • The Ghost

    And Pre Re- NEVERMIND. I MEAN NEVERMIND.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you should consult with the urban market about that instead of santa. they like movies or so I’ve heard.

  • sepiajack

    I really hope Rey is just, nobody related to anyone else we’ve met.

    I don’t see her origin as being a mystery, I felt the movie more or less revealed:
    1) Rey’s parents ditched her / sold her to slavers on Jakku because they are assholes
    2) she made up the “i need to wait for them to come back” mantra as a way to cope that they tossed her in the dumpster
    3) She coincidentally happens to also be very strong with the force
    4) Maz said the belonging she seeks is not in her past (her deadbeat parents), but in her future (being trained by Luke, who will be a surrogate father of sorts)

    My take anyways

  • Prince Solomon

    hmm yeah i guess that could work but at the end of the movie they havn’t gained anything, no resources, no new members , no nothing… as Rich said in this review, they should’ve kept the starkiller for the other movies to expand upon this idea…but they David Priored it…

  • Joe O

    Mr. Plinkett is real man. Me and Mr. Plinkett eat pizza roles every
    Sunday together man! He even told me where he barred his wife, I mean why the local cops keep trying to frame him… Seriously though yougot to realize that they were giving their initial impressions at 4am right after seeing the movie. Only Rich the urber nerd was able to
    see past the fluff. You could tell even he was not super impressed
    when he just called it ok. That said, the other guys were still
    suffering from the special effects high that was present. Most people
    had that reaction to Episode III right after seeing it. Once they
    have have time to actually think about it, say a few weeks, or a few
    months all the problems will arise in their minds. It’s garbage man
    plain a simple. Its like a cotton candy. All fluff and no substance.
    In a few years when the special effects look like Episode 2 PS2
    graphics for us the movie will be recognized for what it is, garbage,
    fluff and a cheap soft reboot of Episode IV.

  • Domo

    I think Fuckbot 5000 left the VCR there to grow into a new Fuckbot in a future HiTB episode.

    This time, instead of rhyming, it’ll be a Haiku!

  • sepiajack

    Well he had collaborators around him to curtails those impulses and no such checks and balances on the prequels. I think he may also have gotten much much crazier in the years between…

  • Does the movie make it seem Rey has had training of some kind or that she just intuitively knows things because the force is so strong with her?

  • Paul S.

    hear hear

  • Django Plimpton

    I think Han put it together after the Lightsaber scene. When Finn insists to Han that they wouldn’t leave the starbase without Rey, Han agrees with him but in more like a “We literally need her to get out of this alive” type of way. Leia probably knew right away and that’s why she embraced Rey at the end of the movie.

  • Joe O

    Your forgetting the fact that all the planets destroyed must have been in the same system as the rebel base. They could see them blowing up from orbit. Really they must have just been moons. Although honestly probably the best thing to do with this movie is to turn your brain off. It has way too many plot holes to count. In short, its garbage. Give it time people will recognize it for that…

  • Domo

    The only way I see her being related is Kylo being a Jedi failure and Luke going “Well, not taking my chances with you” and casting her out at a young age to save her the hardship.

    Luke should have just cast her in carbonite. Saved us all the trouble.

  • sepiajack

    No, that was my only big problem with the movie, none of the sunsucker, planetary destruction stuff made any sense

  • Prince Solomon

    i think by the end of the film it is quite obvious that Luke is her father and left her on Jakku after Ren was seduced by the dark side. Seeing what happenend to his nephew he must’ve been quite afraid of what could happen with his own child (remember Vader? yeah… Luke remembered too).

    So just like with Luke (when he was a baby) she was left on Jakku, and she wasn’t alone, there was somebody with her holding her hand (maybe that max von sydow guy?)

    Luke didn’t want to ruin the future of his own child, Rey. Remember the SW films are all focusing on the Skywalkers…

  • sepiajack

    plot holes do not instantly equal a bad movie, otherwise there would be no good movies at all.

    It’s a matter of whether the movie is entertaining and engaging enough to make you not notice, or not care about the plot holes. and for me, this movie succeeded on that score.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I just realized that there was nothing that really stood out or was iconic about TFA. It felt like a decently crafted film by committee without taking any real big risks.

  • Django Plimpton

    Dude, just go see the movie.

  • Domo

    I rate this film 3.14159265 because it didn’t have enough science!

  • Paul S.

    I wasn’t bothered by the fury road (loved it to be precise) and actually my buddy was praising the liturgical life of the warboys so its got that going for it

  • The Prequels could have used a committee by comparison…

  • Prince Solomon

    but Fuckbot 5000 was killed by a space monkey cop don’t you remember? this time (in best JJ Abrams fashion) it will be an even larger Fuckbot, he will be painted black and his name will be: Fuckbot 50 000 !!!

  • sepiajack

    I think it would have been better if instead of a super weapon it was a ship yard and as the rebels attacked the base they did succeed in destroying it, but dozens or even hundreds of new stardestroyers had taken off to deploy into the galaxy, thus setting up a new reign of terror from the first order

  • The Ghost

    You’re right. Part of me feels for stupid for wanting it. And being sympathetic to their motivations for doing it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    She picks it up really quickly at the end of the second act and throughout the third act, enough so that she can fend off a wounded Kylo Ren in a lightsaber duel and even gain the upper hand (even though Finn was able to fend him off earlier for a while without him being Force-sensitive).

  • Django Plimpton

    What’s funny is there was more sci-fi movie technobabble in the first half our of Force Awakens than both of JJ’s Trek movies combined

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Dunno, if if it means anything, but I’ll gladly go on the record as very much enjoying your videos and having my brain cells prodded by said vids.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Great, now I want sci-fi-Pi. 🙁

  • Pass.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    George would have ignored/dissmissed/beaten them. Wanna know why?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-H3o8r7JgGY

  • Domo

    See, I saw a lot of great shots, there just wasn’t the score to amp them up.

    John Williams just needed some more Metamucil and he would’ve been great.

  • Django Plimpton

    I hope they completely pull the rug out from under us and go with a Tangerine Dream soundtrack in episode 8.

  • Prince Solomon

    yes. there is not much of a looming threat left now. we know so little about Disney’s new Star Wars canon universe (and i’m not talking about books or any of that stuff) that i don’t know what they will be up against in the next film. At the end of Ep4 you knew that there is still an entire Galactic Empire that will be pissed off as hell… but with TFA…you know there is some alien dude, the 4 foot small Snookie creature… and not much else

  • Domo

    Personally, I think Disney should double down and get Neil Breen to write the story.

    Then the only character to really care about would be Neil Breen.

  • Palpatine

    I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die while you people discuss this in a committee!

  • Rey’s arc is a joke. Strong feminist character? Ha, yeah playing with a loaded deck.

    She doesn’t have to deal with any adversity period.
    There’s no growth.
    She’s already ready for any and all takers.

    Fighting off 3 thugs using staff – check.

    Flying an old rust bucket against cutting edge fighters, flown by PROFESSIONAL pilots who’s job it is to fly and shoot things- no problem.

    Shooting a gun for the first time against PROFESSIONAL soldiers who’s job it is to shoot things – no problem.

    Resisting force mind probing from a seasoned force user – easy.

    Using a light sabre for the 1st time – piece of cake.

    Tapping into the force in a “wow, I know kung-fu” way to gain advance battle tactics, agility and power – no problemo

    And why the fuck is she living hand to read-meal mouth (literally) scavenging garbage, when’s she’s an elite pilot?

    Couldn’t she get a better pay packet flying a few delivery runs…

    cringe-worthy character development…

  • bassbait

    “Harrison Ford was bad in this because he was old” – that’s kind of a nonsense complaint because if that is the reason why he did poorly then it’d stand to reason that there are no good old actors or that it’s difficult to be a good actor while old, because being old is the cause of bad acting for old people.

    “Harrison Ford did bad” – perfectly sound complaint. This is what I mean about outside factors. The complaint rings true or false regardless of outside factors. Complaining about outside factors, idk, I just find it kind of petty. I think Tarantino’s a complete asshole, but I dislike his movies independent of who he is as a person. I also think that Kevin Smith is an asshole but I liked Clerks 2 a lot, same with Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Tarantino’s movies aren’t something I dislike because of the outside aspect. Just as a self-contained work, the movies I’ve seen of his weren’t good.

    There are exceptions. I’m not going to support a horrible, disgusting person. I won’t pay money for something by a convicted murderer for example. That’s something where the outside factor has a profound effect on the content. For that same reason I don’t watch anything Cosby related. But there’s a difference between “the person who directed this is a convicted molested children” and “John Boyega only got put in the movie because he’s black”. And I hope that difference is obvious.

  • Prince Solomon

    Bold!!! Too bold for Disney.

  • sepiajack

    The problem with that is then the reveal of him being the father should really be in that final scene, otherwise it will just sort of be stated in the start of the next movie, which seems weird.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This film fixed many of the problems I had with the prequels but then introduced a bunch of its own. Still, I’d rate this the 3rd or 4th best (haven’t seen RotJ in quite a while but I remember being greatly annoyed by the Ewoks).

    I was surprised by how restrained certain things were, though. Lightsabers were used sparingly, which made sense within the context of the story. There weren’t as many fights/battles as I thought there would be.

  • sepiajack

    But why leave her on such a shitty planet, sure Leia or some other peaceful world where she had a chance at a good life would make sense instead of selling her to a junk dealer

  • bassbait

    thanks. Sorry my microphone and production values suck and I speak really fast. Those are the main complaints. Other than that, most of the complaints are “you’re wrong about everything and dumb”. But I rarely encounter those.

  • Domo

    Shut up, Padme! Your grandkid’s an asshole!

  • sepiajack

    then why ask?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Says the the sell out filmmaker who abandoned us!

  • bassbait

    Kubrick films would still be good.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Frankly with the tone that this movie had I felt like what Williams music was there wasn’t even useful. He should have done what Zimmer did with Interstellar….which was too rip off Philip Glass…

  • sepiajack

    How is that any different than Luke in ANH?

  • But it is their destiny to go bold boldly go where no man has gone before!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Remember people saying that Captain Phasma was a strong, female character that young girls could finally relate to before the movie came out?

    Yeah, she got a few lines and maybe a minute or two total of screen time. She didn’t do jack shit.

  • The Ghost

    if I may retort, what’s really iconic about a movie only a few days after it comes out? I feel like history ultimately decides that.

    You know what’s not iconic and damn well should be? “Not quite my tempo.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Stop asking completely logical questions

  • Stahp spamming, you crazy asshats! Who’s gonna read all that shit?

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I didn’t find the speed of your speech to be particularly fast and it sounded pretty clear to me. I appreciated that you went into stuff with very clear perspective of your own view, plus backed it up by concrete observations.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Spam tastes worse than shit.

  • Reading could do you some good.

  • Domo

    I could see Luke going “She needs a rough upbringing to remain humble if/when she learns her powers.”

    This is a terrible comparison, but I thought of Serena/Venus Williams, where dad was pretty well off, but wanted to raise and train his kids in an environment where they’re more hardened and better able to handle pressure. it’s the only comparison I can think of off the top of my head.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You will.

  • bassbait

    they thought they had unearthed some kind of strange ancient slug creature. But it turns out it was just a tired ol’ turd.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Nice hat, bro.

  • sepiajack

    The Ghost is on a roll today

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The thing I remember best from the film was, “That’s not how it works!” when Finn says they’ll just “use the Force” to figure out how to disarm the shields on Planet Killjoy Starkiller Base.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Luke doesn’t suddenly start off as a badass? He grows into one?

  • Yoda quote failed.

  • The Ghost

    That’s very kind, but I’ve said a lot of stupid shit today, too. It’s because I’ve been bored at work all day and have been instantly responding to comments and doing nothing productive at all.

  • Domo

    Or do like The King’s Speech and rip off Beethoven.

    I could see Williams making this music, seeing JJ’s editing style, and go “I’m too old for this fast-paced shit.”

  • Why thank you, yours isn’t bad either.

  • It’s like 20 posts/second at the current speed. Are you all on caffeine?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No he’s suddenly good at using guns at one point but we never seen use one. This stuff can be glossed over.

  • The Ghost

    Agree, loved that exchange.

  • Prince Solomon

    They did many things in TFA which to me felt weird, things that i never thought they would put in a new Star Wars film (same plot points… -> even there i thought they would subvert our expectations…include a twist M.N.Shamalamadingdong style) but they did… and i was baffled by the way how bluntly they included weird weird scenes.

    i don’t know man, we will see. But even if they try to also include a “I am your father” reveal between Luke and Rey at the end of Ep8 people would call it original and unique and love it…

  • Django Plimpton

    At what point does Luke Skywalker become a badass?

  • RLMkeepitup

    this ‘new’ film was too close to a remake,but with less realistic pacing and forced callbacks meshed with some ‘new’ but poorly explained stuff. It’s a fun ride, because its a modernized version of an already fun tale. Its convenient and predictable in many ways and thats not a fantastic movie for me. Nice that Mike liked it but I wished a bit more bang for this 100th episode than a morning after discussion (even though that’s basically what HITB is) #Richlovesstarwars!!

  • Domo

    You’re the most productive ghost I’ve ever seen.

    And no one has even told you to “Fuck off, Ghost!” yet.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    He had a gun on Tatooine, it’s safe to assume he practiced with it…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well the movie did make 517 million dollars world wide so we’re gonna talk about it.

  • Well, he kind of is one in ROTJ.

  • sepiajack

    -Luke flies an x-wing with no experience yet destroys the deathstar and is one of only 2 surviving xwings from the battle of yavin
    -luke kills dozens of trained stormtroopers on the deathstar with no combat experience
    -takes out tie fighters while escaping the deathstar with no gunning experience
    -uses the force to retrieve his lightsaber from the wampa cave, despite a complete lack of training and telekinesis not even being a jedi skill Ben ever used in ANH or told Luke was possible
    -Holds his own against Vader in ESB with no saber training

  • dollar store cashier wife

    The end of ROTJ.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It was Batman.

  • The Ghost

    IT’S ABOUT TIME!

  • Domo

    Oh, no! You sounded the alarm!

    The spambots are coming! The spambots are coming! And not the ones with pretty lady avatars, either!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That was a mention really in the third act.

  • Prince Solomon

    maybe Luke knew some people on that planet (like with Owen & Beru on Tatooine). The parents of Luke’s wife? or other relatives of Rey. there must’ve been some reason and i’m sure they will tell us in one of the future Episodes.

  • sepiajack

    But showing she had some fighting skills from Jakku is proper set up for her fighting later. If they didn’t have that at the beginning then people would complain even more about her being able to fight Kylo.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    The last point is BS though. Vader was just toying with him. It’s why he lasted as long as he did.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Yeah, but it was already established that he was a good pilot (bullseying whomp rats in my T-16 back home…)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Recruit more pimps, more pushers.

  • bassbait

    when I watch movies I watch them once just to enjoy it. If I’m left thinking about things, I write down questions and thoughts, then I watch again and start writing down more. Then I start connecting dots, and anything that resonates throughout most of the film and isn’t directly contradicted by details of the film will be brought up. Then I form it into some sort of coherent script and a video is born. It’s a really simple process, but people like to complicate film analysis by either reading too deep into things to the point of ignoring contradictions (confirmation bias), or they don’t read deep at all but use big, pretentious language to make it seem like they have extensive knowledge about film. The latter is a film student thing and that’s what I’ve always hated most, so I try to leave my videos down to earth and straight forward – no humor, no asides that have nothing to do with the film or my thoughts on it, no language that’s difficult to understand, and no unclear explanations or omissions in order to deceive people into taking my word for it.

  • It’s the only way to be sure.

  • sepiajack

    “Travelling through space ain’t like dusting crops boy”

    And if you can fly a small prop plane do you feel qualify to fly a mix between the space shuttle and an F-14, against seasoned imperial pilots and the most impossible bullseye in the world?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I didn’t see a romance or a glimpse of one between Rey and Finn. That kiss while nice seems out of place for me.

  • bassbait

    I’d say more realistic with regards to the death star. The destruction of the death star comes across as an after-thought in A New Hope, given how much emphasis is on the death star escape sequence, you’d think that should be the climax of the film and leave off there. But it’s stylistically designed to be that way, because after all, without the ending of New Hope… no Empire. *shudders*

  • Delirium Enough

    He wasn’t very good when he went hysterical. It was having to hide the Irish, I guess.

  • sepiajack

    We’re told he’s a good pilot, but we are never shown that he is. At least we are shown early on Rey can hold her own in a scuffle. And she’s not black widow doing insane moves, she just knows how to hit people with a big stick.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Yeah, I am a fan. Also makes me think that if I ever get a podcast running you’d hate being on it, since most of what I say/do/think is shall we say, bullshit and jokes (not mutually exclusive)

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    After rewatching the originals leading up to the force awakens, i have to say, people are totally delusional about the empire strikes back! han and leia’s relationship is totally forced and has no subtlety in it; honestly, it seems more realistic in return of the jedi, since they’re not going on and on with the “will they or won’t they?” and tsundere lines.

  • sepiajack

    Vader wanted him in the carbon chamber, and failed utterly

  • Domo

    If she has compassion for droids she can have compassion for Finn.

    I just wish she made out with BB-8, just once.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    There are heroes on both sides of this nerd debate.

  • bassbait

    nah, not really. Psychologically he’s badass but he still falls (literally) into Jabba’s trap, and still gets beat around by Vader and Palpatine like a toy. It’s cool to see that he’s internally at peace though.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    hm? He wanted his son to join him.

  • Django Plimpton

    So if items like Luke’s lightsaber are enchanted(for lack of a better term) isn’t it perfectly reasonable to believe that Vader’s helmet could actually be pulling Kylo Ren towards the light side without him realizing it?

  • sepiajack

    good call!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Who?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I don’t wear hockey pads.

  • Prince Solomon

    lololol isn’t Neil Breen actually working on a SCI-FI FILM RIGHT NOW???!!!!! OMG MIND BLOWN

    Director of Episode VIII confirmed: Neil Breen.

    Rey finds a magic stone that will heal Finn’s cancer. And Chewie is gonna eat all the space tuna.

  • bassbait

    the problem with ROTJ isn’t the ewoks. It’s the fact that nothing happens throughout most of the film and then at the end they just rush 3 separate climaxes to try to make it seem like an exciting movie.

    The Jabba segment of the film is fantastic though.

  • sepiajack

    I saw a funny comic online that BB8 is the love child of R2D2 “interfacing” with the deathstar in ANH

  • Domo

    It’s Sunday and the liquor stores are now closed in the US.

    What else are we supposed to do?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Is Luke a secret asshole?”

  • playdude92 .

    Not too much poetry, cause it rhymes. Just below what´d be annoying.

    Though a couple too far in a few places, like Dark Evil Guy the Villain and a *few” CG characters, who didn´t need CG.

    Other than that; rock solid, well paced Star Wars based on engaging characters. It´s good (!).

  • The Ghost

    I see many parallels with Luke and Rey.

    I like Rey, she’s tough and compelling. But she needs to get her ass handed to her in the next film. Knock her down a few pegs.

    The only thing I’ll say is that with Luke, in a New Hope you can at least sort of see that he’s kind of impatient. He never focuses on the present, and that’s a big obstacle for him in Empire.

    TFA didn’t introduce a similar imperfection for Rey, or if they did, I didn’t pick up on it. I think that’s ok for now, as long as they present her with real challenges in the next film.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    How the fuck did he got that anyway? Who brought it back from a Death Star that was about to blow up? Some guy who wanted to sell it on cosmic-ebay.com?

  • bassbait

    what I remember most is the sexual innuendo that I might have remembered wrong, because I haven’t found anyone else mention it, even though it stood out immediately to me. “People are coming on us!”

  • sepiajack

    I actually think there is some parts in her performance that set up a potential turn to the darkside. I kind of think episode 8 might be the switcheroo of Ren turning good and Rey turning bad.

  • The Ghost

    … I LIKE THIS. I LIKE THIS.

  • sepiajack

    I’m trying to remember specifics, but on the forest planet she kills one stormtrooper with the gun, with hesitation and then sort of goes gun crazy. During the fight with Kylo and a few other parts she seems downright malevolent in her expressions and cold calm.

  • bassbait

    bullshit and jokes is all I do 95% of the time. Once I make a video I get serious for a second. People who know me well know that I’m non-stop sarcasm and jokes, followed by occasional rants (not in an angry sense, more just a lot of thoughts all coming in at once).

  • Django Plimpton

    Luke brought it down to Endor. Vader had the mask on when he was being burned on the funeral pyre.

  • Domo

    “People are coming on us!”

    They meant the audience, obviously.

  • Prince Solomon

    agreed!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Luke brought it to Endor and burned it as seen in RotJ.
    Luke then taught Ben Solo the ways of the Force.

    I guess they imply that Luke kept the burnt remains and that Kylo later took them.

  • Percy Gryce

    Alright, alright, alright.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Ohhhhhh ok. Well that serves me right for not watching ROTJ since 2011 I think.

  • Domo

    Here’s hoping they get rid of Vader’s ashes in a Big Lebowski way.

    Try to throw them into the Atlantic ocean, only for them to get all over Rey’s white suit.

    Years of speculation over what that should mean will follow.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    to be fair, yoda did say luke was too old to be trained, told him he should have stayed and completed his training, and said again he wished he had completed his training a few times after that… though i guess it worked out fine in the end… OR DID IT?!

  • sepiajack

    well said!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Luke should have just cremated Vader.

    #so uncivilized

  • sepiajack

    great idea!

  • Prince Solomon

    and it turned out to be one of the best films in cinematic history.

    We have two episodes left (and an undefined amount of spin-offs) so there is still hope. ’cause remember what Shepard said:

    Without a future, we have no hope.
    Without hope, we might as well be machines, programmed to do what are
    told.

  • Domo

    Terrible minds think alike!

  • sepiajack

    Or Kylo went to endor to recover the remains, I actually thought the movie might open with him attacking the ewok village

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    #CumShotsFromBeyondTheGrave

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Don’t you mean genius? I’d pay good money to see The Big Lebowski redone in Star Wars. This movie was a comedy anyways.

  • bassbait

    What I love about that relationship is how they’re complete assholes to each other throughout most of the film, and then the first kiss is like, almost kinda playful, but it’s also an admission of love that they didn’t know was gonna happen, but they kinda wanted it to happen subconsciously? And then there’s a mixed feeling element where they’re in an awkward spot until Leia finally announces near the end that she loves him.

    It’s a great romance. Not forced so much as underdeveloped, and I don’t mean that from a screenplay standpoint, I mean their actual relationship is forming and isn’t properly developed to full on love and affection until Leia admits it. Reading into it a bit, if I were in Leia’s position, I’d be thinking “I may in fact love this man. I don’t know. But if I do, I don’t want to lose him without letting him know first”. And that moment is what drives her to understand that she does actually love him. It was an outburst, not a calculated thing, a spur of the moment, put under stress and coming to a realization and getting it out while she still can.

  • It’s almost as if somebody watched this classic tutorial on screenwriting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKtZmQgxrI

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    #LoveIsFyuckingWeird #EvenInStarWars

  • Django Plimpton

    “Everything’s a fucking travesty with you, Finn!”

  • Prince Solomon

    I wonder what Plinkett would say about the two Ewok movies. They never ever mentioned them in RLM’s history.

    I just rewatched them and must say the first one is a really nice adventurous movie for kids (a scary Gorax aside) but yeah, pretty good. The second is Heidi in Space and not as fun anymore, also makes the first one kinda pointless.

    But considering that Rogue One will be made and countless other spin-offs in the new Disney Star Wars Cinematic Universe i’m sure they are gonna mention those two movies at some point.

  • sepiajack

    After seeing TFA once, it’s hard for me to really stack it in with 3 films I’ve loved for 30 years, and 3 films I’ve hated for 10-15 years, but I would say right now it ranks about the same as RotJ for me, maybe just below, or just above. It’s probably objectively a better movie than RotJ, but RotJ has the nostalgia and the charm of all our beloved heros in their prime. plus the emperor, vader, jabba, and magical early 80s FX and charm.

    Both RotJ are wonderful with a couple problems that don’t sink the ship but are still noticeable. TFA will obviously be elevated or diminished depending on how good 8 and 9 are, but I did really enjoy it and look forward to seeing it again

  • Percy Gryce

    Did I win anything?

    You won the Internet. Call ICANN to pick up your prize.

  • Domo

    I hope there will be a Rancor prequel film. He was such a nice, gentle beast until his family died from Bantha fodder poisoning. Then he goes on a mindless rampage, slowly losing his ability to tell friend from foe.

    I think it could work.

  • sepiajack

    Well Jay noted that he liked the Kylo = Han jr was just sort of doled out gradually in the movie, but I actually thought it was sort of weird that leader snoke just sort of tossed it out there in the middle of the movie with no real fanfare. Not that every movie has to have an ESB type reveal, but it just seemed an odd place for it. So I dunno. it just felt like if the payoff to Reys story was that Luke is her father then that should have been confirmed in this movie. But we shall see.

  • Percy Gryce

    In for a penny, in for a pound [of Ewok-fur hairballs].

  • bassbait

    Jar Jar Rancor buddy movie?

  • Domo

    We’re seeing TFA again tomorrow and hope to see the helicopter shadow that Mike was talking about.

    It’ll be nice to (Hopefully) see it in a quieter theater so we can focus a bit more and revisit scenes we liked.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I posted this a yday but here it is again. Read it Mitchell. Read it and cry from laugther:

    “Kennedy has big plans for Phasma and confirmed that the captain will carry on into the next movie. “She’s an important character, a baddie in the best sense of the word.”

    “We see women in a different range of roles in the film,” Christie says. “And the reason I love my character so much and I feel so enthusiastic about Capt. Phasma is, yes, she’s cool, she looks cool, she’s a villain — but more than that, we see a female character and respond to her not because of the way she looks. We respond to her because of her actions. I think we’re a society that has promoted a homogenized idea of beauty in women — and in men — and I think it’s really interesting, modern and necessary to have a female character that isn’t about the way her body looks. It isn’t about her wearing makeup. It’s not about her being conventionally feminized. The idea of this enormous legacy and franchise embracing an idea like that, which of course to many of us feels logical, is actually really progressive. And long overdue.”

  • sepiajack

    It does always seem weird to me that there are effectively 2 other star wars movies that exist but nobody ever seems to remember even though they were more widely seen than the holiday special.

    they aren’t notorious, or made fun of or loved or anything, it’s like they just don’t exist, but they do

  • Domo

    Hey Mike!

    That wasn’t a helicopter shadow you saw at the end of the film. That was a fleet of Jedi ghosts looking on in approval at the Jedi training.

    There wasn’t any room on the island for all of them to stand on. So they chose to float.

  • sepiajack

    to be fair, Phasma’s costume was originally what Kylo Ren was going to look like, and then they changed him to his actual look, but wanted to use the chrome trooper somehow, and JJ is a Game of Thrones fan so cast Christie, but she was added to the cast after the main casting was done so presumably the script was already pretty set without Phasma in it. I can only presume she’ll play a larger role in further films

  • sepiajack

    Actors say all sorts of horseshit, I don’t take any of it seriously.

  • Domo

    Jar Jar sold him to Jabba when the Rancor started eating younglings.

    Jar Jar, aged 43, turned himself in to serve his life sentence on Naboo, and eventually escaped. Which ties into The Phantom Menace.

  • Prince Solomon

    i would buy that for a dollar!

    bassbait you genius! A Jar Jar & Rancor buddy cop movie! That would make Cop Dog look like Cop Out! I don’t even know what that means.

    yeah absolutely right sepiajack, they seem like two forgotten Star Wars movies…i have no idea whether they were bashed in the past like the prequels in recent history and therefore buried under the rug… i was just a baby back then…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I know they gotta sell the movie but this is overkill plain and simple.

  • Prince Solomon

    And “Jabba the Bill” as the main villain, his best quote from that movie would be: “Hey Bib Fortuna, recruit more space pimps, more space pushers.”

  • Domo

    There was also a droid cartoon, also.

    Personally, I think R2D2 and C-3PO should just stick with documentaries like they used to do. For when Ken Burns retires.

  • Prince Solomon

    Oh yeah i remember, R2-D2, C3PO and Mungo Baobab… the greatest space adventure trio ever… there was something about Roon Stones!

  • Domo

    *Insert fart soundtrack.

  • Prince Solomon

    well Obi-Wan was a perfectly trained Jedi and he still fucked up with his Padawan (although at the time of Ep3 Ani was a Knight)

  • All right way to go RLM. 100 episodes. Nice going. Hugs and kisses!!! You deserve the very best.

    #Stoklasa2016

  • Domo

    Your hat is so far down on your head that I fear it’s gonna be full of slobber before Christmas gets here.

  • Domo

    I’m #slobbershaming.

    I’m so sorry.

  • sepiajack

    Every actress who plays a Bond girl always tries to justify it that their’s is different, and not just for sex appeal and has a real story arc, but they never do. Most actors are nuts and when they aren’t reading scripts say a bunch of malarky

  • Prince Solomon

    yeah regarding the score… i can’t think of one memorable musical piece… not even a special melody

    Ep1 had Duel of the Fates
    Ep2 had Across the Stars
    Ep3 had Battle of the Heroes
    Ep4 had all the best SW melodies
    Ep5 had Imperial March
    Ep6 had Yub-Nub (oh yeah YUB-NUB BABY!!!!)

    Ep7 ???

  • My days of drinkin are over. I was so tanked when we did those slobber scenes with Kiera Nightley. George wanted to keep those since he thought they were racist so I kept drinking and drooling. Now I’m clean. Now I always smiling.

    #AttackOfTheClones #AvalableNow #DVD #VHS

  • John

    I think Kylo messed up by trying to read her mind, and revealed to her what the force can do when she tapped into his mind.

  • bassbait

    *ahem*… Jedi Rocks?

  • Prince Solomon

    I would’ve loved to listen to Michael Giacchino’s interpretation of SW music. Listen to his Jupiter Ascending score…it could’ve easily been the score to a SW movie. Also his older Medal of Honor soundtracks were amazing!

  • It’s OK. I always had a thing for Internet avatars with Jap names. I laugh it off.

    #Nanking #1937

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Damnit I may have to shell out to see this movie and participate. I’ll call it “Comment Pressure” for now, knowing full well I already suffer from a bad case of Disqitis.

  • sepiajack

    Yes congrats on the 100! that’s no small achievement

  • Zack Snyder did more.

  • Emphasis on small!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

    #Winning #StoklasaBlood

  • Prince Solomon

    let the Nerd Tax negotiations begin!!!

  • Prince Solomon

    Jedi Rocks makes Yub-Nub look like Yub-Out… i don’t even know what that means.

    Jedi rocks can never beat this:

    Yub nub, eee chop yub nub;

    Ah toe meet toe peechee keene,

    G’noop dock fling oh ah.

    Yahwah, eee chop yahwah;

    Ah toe meet toe peechee keene,

    G’noop dock fling oh ah.

    Coatee cha tu yub nub;

    Coatee cha tu yahwah;

    Coatee cha tu glowah;

    Allay loo ta nuv.

    Glowah, eee chop glowah;

    Ya glowah pee chu nee foom,

    Ah toot dee awe goon daa.

    *Coatee cha tu goo; (Yub nub!)

    Coatee cha tu doo; (Yahwah!)

    Coatee cha tu too; (Ya chaa!)

    Allay loo ta nuv,

    Allay loo ta nuv,

    Allay loo ta nuv.

    Glowah, eee chop glowah.

    Ya glowah pee chu nee foom

    Ah toot dee awe goon daa.

    *
    Coatee cha tu goo; (Yub nub!)

    Coatee cha tu doo; (Yahwah!)

    Coatee cha tu too; (Ya chaa!)

    Allay loo ta nuv,

    Allay loo ta nuv,

    Allay loo ta nuv,

    Allay loo ta nuv.

  • bassbait

    Jedi Rocks makes everyone mad. That makes it my favorite song of all time.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    sorry but i don’t take the prequels as canon re. the ep 3 reference, but either way, you’re basically right.

  • bassbait

    my diet today has consisted entirely of brownies. No humorous remark with regards to that, it’s just a sad fact of my reality.

  • Domo

    Regardless if you like it or not, nothing beats watching a film, then coming into this great community and making a ton of jokes with each other at the film’s expense. We’re like mini-RLMers, and it’s really wonderful.

  • bassbait

    Jay is like a mini-RLMer.

  • J.R.

    So is there’s going o be a Plinkett review on this movie? Please, Do it!!!

  • Prince Solomon

    Would you have preferred an ESB style reveal that Ren was Han’s & Leia’s son during the finale of this film? I don’t know, it could’ve worked better if done right.

    In Ep4 there was no big reveal. In Ep5 there was one of the biggest reveals of all time. In Ep6 it was revealed that Leia is Luke’s sister.

    So in Ep7 they reveal that Ren is Solo’s son (very bluntly). What will the reveal be in Ep8? and Ep9 for that matter?

    I think Ep8 -> Rey is Luke’s daughter. Ep9 something with Snoke? hmm

  • I had a pizza for lunch and then another pizza for dinner. And I’m currently thinking about having a late night pizza.

  • bassbait

    better top it with brownies.

  • Prince Solomon

    better brownies than a trunkload of tuna (with the occasional magic rock in between).

  • bassbait

    but how will I ever get the best ballsack if I don’t eat a trunk full of tuna?

  • Prince Solomon

    we are like a wonderfully sick family

  • If you’re watching it on a 50″ HD TV you’ll want the Bluray and a Bluray player.

  • I got a heart attack just by thinking about that.

  • It’s almost like he recorded it after a 1AM screening.

  • Prince Solomon

    well it had Max Reebo in it, the guy who looks like a blue elephant… which makes it an automatic winner

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxgnSbs1DKs

  • bassbait

    Glad I could be of cervix.

  • bassbait

    as much as I can’t stand Robot Chicken anymore, this bit will always work for me because I always think of it when I see Max Reebo, the most amazing blue elephant.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    they threw her in the trash compactor, thats how much respect the had for her character.

  • bassbait

    put that thing away you’re gonna get us all killed!

  • bassbait

    the HITB on The Devil Inside is pretty hilarious. GUESS WHAT’S COMING UP NEXT MONTH THOUGH!!!

  • You put me in a prostate of bliss.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Remember when Han threw one of the smugglers at the DentisTesticlus, Balls with teeth just to buy 5 extra seconds to run… I laughed so hard, but right at the back of my brain a small part of me thought, Jorge was right in that Han should not be a murder.
    The cantina scene was more like an old western duel. Han was quicker on the draw. and killed Guido in self defence.
    Throwing a guy at a monster to buy time is more like Paul Riser in Aliens and less like Han Solo.

  • bassbait

    taint a big deal, just doin’ what I can.

  • You’re just getting too old for this shit, gramps.

  • The Ghost

    *SPOILERS DON’T READ ANYTHING BELOW THIS TEXT IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE OR YOU’LL BE VERY MAD AT ME*

    I have to say that the most pleasant surprise in this film was Han. I agreed with Mike’s initial assessment that if they went too “sappy” with him that it would suck, but if they also tried to make him the daring young rogue again it would also suck.

    Instead, they did what made the most sense: a blend of both. He’s old, grumpy and has seen all this shit before, but has softened a bit and he has very endearing interactions with the younger characters. He still has the capability for a sarcastic quip, but has tender moments with Leia and Rey. They balanced him perfectly.

    Even though we all saw it coming, I was a little bummed when he died because we won’t see anymore of those great character interactions going forward. But better for him to go out on top and not overstay his welcome. The cocky smuggler with a heart of gold comes full circle, returns for a final adventure and gracefully takes his last bow.

  • dochollerin

    Today I learned, without a doubt, that Plinkett truly does have absolutely terrible taste in film. This will be the day people look back to and say, look, Plinkett actually liked VII. Your opinion will be forever tarnished. The prequels are masterpieces compared to this atrocity.

  • tOmy`

    I didn’t expect Mike liking it THIS much, that is true.

  • bassbait

    I’ve decided to be festive. Now my pic is just a clusterfuck of different images.

  • bassbait

    “the prequels are masterpieces compared to this atrocity”

    so… why should I take your opinion seriously over Mike’s?

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    it was a cheap joke and a cheap way to ensure she’ll be back in the sequels although they had every opportunity to kill her. ah well…

  • Needs more gay apparelism!

  • Prince Solomon

    you can only have the third best ballsack… Neil Breen has the best ballsack and Rich Evans the second best

    …with those pictures in mind. Enjoy your meal! 😀

  • bassbait

    I’ll add a rainbow over-lay, and throw some gay porn in the top corner. Maybe add in some interior decorating.

  • The Ghost

    Also 9/11 was an inside job.

  • Like Icare

    Clearly, the VCR was placed there by the will of the Force.
    That’s what will of the Force does now.
    Puts mechanical objects that then call people to touch them and get visions and flashbacks.
    That, and it programs maps into robots who sit around for decades and then turn on just in time for the sequel like a good deus ex machina that they are.
    I guess it will be revealed in the next movie that Luke picked that skill up while he was busy creating haunted houses for theme parks.

    While we’re on the subject of houses… Anyone seen the new Tarantino movie?
    Tarantino Episode 8? It’s a whole ‘nother number higher than Episode 7.
    And it’s full of people’s heads being exploded, people vomiting blood, shootings, stabbings, hangings, man on man face rape, blood and testicles, spectacles (eyeglasses), recaps, flashbacks, people playing musical instruments… and a whole lotta snow and people saying the N-word that rhymes with nigger.
    They also say darkie and African. But not jiga or jigaboo.

    But back to 9/11…
    Anyone notice how stupid the Starkiller planet scene was?
    And how everyone then started running across the screen to quickly conceal the fact that what was just shown was very much like that time when Spock was dumped on a moon to watch Vulcan being destroyed – only FAR MORE stupid?

    I mean… not only is Starkiller (STAR-STAR-Star-Killer) weapon loaded by consuming suns – it is also so slow that Kylo Ren watches the beam that was just fired sloooowly moving across his window.
    Then it strikes the thing it was going towards mere seconds later – though See Kylo Run didn’t see that thing from his window.

    But the people on the Space Cantina 2.0 planet did!
    From the same angle, at the same speed, hitting something they too don’t see – but they see the explosions.
    Now… I’m no physicist but I did once manage to put a screwdriver through the openings of a 3 kilowatt 3-phase heater, shorting two phases and melting the screwdriver head without getting electrocuted myself. I think I was 3 or 4…

    Anyway…
    Even if the beams are magically slow to be seen moving chugging along the horizon (notice how you don’t see the beams moving along the horizon as the Sun comes up) but moving faster than light (cause they are hitting something so far away it is invisible from space and from the ground… so it is further away than Venus or Mars are cause we CAN see those) – and we’re back at that point in the story of Star Trek Generations where Sauron fires a rocket at the Sun… and it moves faster than light…

    But light from the explosion of the planets doesn’t move faster than light, then slow down when it reaches the Space Cantina 2.0 planet so it can be seen.
    And remember that one girl running into the camera to look up in the sky just before the beam hits? Fuck her. Why should we care if she fries? Who is she anyway? Was she someone Jar Jar fucked at some point? Like Greg Grunberg, being clearly pregnant with twins there. Which didn’t throw me out of the movie at all.
    I kept getting these images in my head of Jar Jar fucking Greg Grunberg and calling him his Felicity…

    Oh and BTW… Since everyone apparently knows what Starkiller is… and it is right there in their system… why isn’t anyone on any of those planets reacting to it?
    They were just lounging around on Planet Cantina before things went boom.
    Didn’t Han Solo see it before they landed? Maybe the planet just got there. Without anyone noticing another planet appearing in the system… Didn’t anyone on any of those planets have like a one of those things… that shit Galileo used… A telescope, right! Doesn’t anyone spy on their neighbors having sex anymore?

    Oh and… if they suck up a sun… and then it gets dark… but then they turn into a sun… and there is light later… wouldn’t that fuck up gravitational balance and planetary orbits in the entire system? I mean… Sauron pulled the Nexus ribbon closer to the planet by removing the Sun…
    And wouldn’t those exploded planets create asteroid fields too, that the Cantina Planet would be now flying through?
    And since they were all habitable planets… that kinda puts them all in a similar orbit… which would now be full of asteroids… spiraling around a new sun… in a new place…

    But here’s the thing… Why doesn’t Jenifer Lawrence look hungry at all? For someone doing some dangerous stuns to get her insta-bread and green stuff and someone who gets all excited about all the extra insta-bread and green stuff… she’s kinda fat.
    I mean… Shmoo Starkiller at least kinda looked like someone who has to work as a slave to put food on the table.

    Also, does Jar Jar not understand the concept of borrowing? Or is there like a thing where you can only borrow from one space-gang at the time? And why do they call someone else to call emp… I mean First Odor on Solo’s ass? Why don’t they do it themselves? Or why does the goth chick that’s into fatsos also call someone else to call the First Hors d’oeuvre instead of doing it herself? Did she forget the number? Is she all out of credits on her space-phone?

    And who are they calling? Mom? George Lucas? Jenny? Does she still have that old number? 567-6309…
    Oh, and why is the space-gangster angry at Solo? He just left him a bigass spaceship – and he still owes him money. Were some of the guys eaten by space tomatoes his cousins. Or lovers?

    Speaking of lovers, anyone seen The Lobster?
    It’s really funny and dark in a funny and dark way and it also has one of the Daniel Craig household people in it – just like Star Wars 7. Except this one doesn’t wear a stormtrooper uniform and is called Rachel Weisz. And it also has a Rylo in it.
    Only it’s not Rylo Kloon, it’s John C. Rylo with a lisp. And then they make him put a hand in the toaster for masturbating.
    Let me rephrase that. It’s not a toaster FOR masturbating. They make him put his hand he uses to masturbate, into a toaster as a punishment. Kinda like the pain box in the Dune. Speaking of dunes and eJakkulating (get it?)…

    Other than those gripes mentioned above… and those scenes with Zenyatta Mondatta and the saber where she keeps trying to show it to people and make them take it… which all feels as if they didn’t know how exactly to get the lightsaber into the story so they made several versions of it showing up… and since neither worked they just included both scenes and then turned the action up to 11 so we don’t notice it… and that speech insta-Hitler makes being hilariously bad…

    The movie was kinda OK.
    Not really boring… more like not exciting and feeling kinda repetitive, like I’ve seen it already… key points were poorly thought out… with everyone from the old cast feeling jarring as fuck… Except Luke I guess, on account of him not being in it.
    Boys had nice chemistry though, and I’ll be looking forward to the first gay couple in Star Wars in the next movie. Hey… why should normal kids be the only ones whose childhood gets raped decades from now when the reboot the whole thing again, right?
    And the girl was OK, though she was not starving properly.

    But it didn’t really feel like Star Wars. More like Space Wars. Star Battles. Star Warriors…
    Like a knock-off with things looking star-warsy but not really being from that universe.
    With Darth Dennis and Fly-Gone-Gin.
    It wasn’t stupid bad like Kingdom of the Crystal Skull… more like just not that good.
    Like… 5/10.

    Oh and one more thing…
    When Luke finally showed up, a little kid few seats to the right asked “Who’s that daddy?”
    Yeah… Maybe that would not happen if there was an actual shot of him during that shot where he fondles R2. Instead of a cryptic trailer-tailored shot to keep the people guessing what’s in the mystery box.

    There you go @dollarstorecashierwife:disqus. Also, @Palpatine, it’s 17 paragraphs.

  • Django Plimpton

    Your hyperbole is out control

  • bassbait

    I’ve thought of worse things while eating. You don’t even wanna know.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    apparently george wanted to have tons of “strong female characters” like this, but carrie thought that would diminish the impact and importance of leia’s character.

  • Sounds fab, sistur!

  • That’s a given.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    luke can’t even lift rocks till yoda shows him and he sucks at it even then. luke can’t do jedi mind tricks till return of the jedi.

  • Like Icare

    They’ve secured a special Space Cop distribution deal with Disney. That’s why.

  • Prince Solomon

    agreed! i know Robot Chicken only from their Star Wars parodies…and those are amazing. What did they do to you?

  • bassbait

    I heard once that a straight relative of a friend of mine said that “the gays stole the rainbow from God”.

    I’m wondering what else we might be able to get away with stealing from him. Merry Christmas!

  • I shall alert the authorities at once and then it’s gayme over for you!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Rich Evans knows what an anal plug is but goofs with the birds and the “beads”.

    UNSUBSCRIIIIIIBE!

  • bassbait

    we already stole his virginity. Jesus had a *lot* of disciples.

  • bassbait

    what a plot hole! But I know a way that we can plug that hole.

  • Like Icare

    You mean they all float? They all float down there?

  • Prince Solomon

    i first thought Santa Spongebob made a cameo in your profile pic..but then i realized it’s just a cameo bag with a santa hat. +10 XP for hipster glasses though

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    His hyperbole is hyperbolic!

  • Rammy

    You must be a lot of fun to sit next to at the bar.

  • bassbait

    Today in “great RLM freezes” –

    http://puu.sh/m2XCQ.jpg

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I bet he is!

  • bassbait

    just wait until I get a real pair. My goal is to look as pretentious as possible. That way my look fits my personality.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    thanks! time to make myself a cup of coffee. this is gonna take a while.

  • bassbait

    nothin’ to gayn, nothin too loose. 😉

  • Prince Solomon

    Philippino Terminator to bassbait: “Give me your clothes. Now bend over.”

    GAME OVER MAN!

    @instant kwanza: oh gayme over, i get it now (took only 20 seconds…) this thin air here on Mount Everest makes me more stupidererer than normally

  • Palpatine

    Only 17?! Surely you could’ve done better than that?!

  • Great rimjob, Susan.

  • sepiajack

    Luke moves his saber in the wampa cave, despite having no training and Ben never moved anything with the force in ANH or ever mentioned to Luke this was possible.

    Luke also uses the force choke on the guards in RotJ despite never seeing Vader do this or ever being told it is possible.

    Also, as noted before, destroys the deathstar with no starfighter training. And numerous other examples of using the force or fighting skills with no training or experience.

  • bassbait

    Lady Terminator? I’m down.

  • Domo

    I can’t wait to see the outtakes of the whole “EverBreast” scene.

    For only $15 a month on Patreon! Subscribe today!

  • sepiajack

    he tried to freeze him, and failed.

  • sepiajack

    Never. No one in star wars is a bad ass, the terms badass and star wars don’t belong in the same sentence together IMHO

  • bassbait

    but yoda takes out his little laser sword…

  • sepiajack

    ESB also has yoda’s theme, boba fetts theme, han and leais theme, the escape from cloud city motif.

    I didnt particularly like duel of the fates or battle of the heros.

    Jedi did have the emperor theme, and Luke going insane choral theme.

    I agree that TFA did not have any standout music

  • Like Icare

    To cut it shorter I excluded the review of the Chinese food we have prior to the movie and how the cider I had during the film made my rectum feel oddly warm while I thought for a second that something may have been wrong with that Chinese food and that my bowels were about to let go, much like Plinketts did.
    Which would have been like poetry.

    Fortunately that didn’t happen. But just in case I’m not buying Strongbow before a movie any more.
    Though it WAS nice that I didn’t have to smuggle booze inside.
    Guess the lack of booze taboos with local religious fanatics helps.

  • tl;dr

  • dochollerin

    You taking both opinions as idiotic would serve my purposes just fine.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    uh huh. and that was all way further into the story and with more training than rey. And as far as gunning, etc., that sounds more like Finn, who’s not supposed to be a Jedi I imagine (though I guess we’ll see).

    rey’s use of the force in general, and especially given the total lack of training, are way beyond luke’s, as far as anything that’s shown in the movies. is she stronger than luke now or how luke would be in a world where everyone believed in the force from birth? who knows, but she is stronger than luke in the movies thus far. that’s not a comment on the quality of any characters or story, just a fact if you watch all the movies…

  • sepiajack

    I could see saving the kylo reveal until Han confronts him on the bridge. I;m coming around to Jay’s perspective on it though because it did lead to conversations between Han and Leia that helped develop their characters, that would have had to have been cryptic glances or mysterious ‘talking around the facts’ if they were trying to keep it a surprise.

    the problem is I had already guessed kylo was Han’s son so I have no way of knowing if I would have been surprised if they had handled it differently because I already wasn;t surprised.

  • Like Icare

    No… not really. I don’t know much about bar games… and I don’t like smoked up places. Make me smell like an ashtray later.

  • bassbait

    I agree with Mike almost completely with regards to this movie. And I’ve disagreed with him heavily in the past, namely “What’s Your Number”.

  • dochollerin

    Princess Leia was Mike’s favorite action figure.

  • Prince Solomon

    i just rewatched “The Hobbit 3: Battle of the Five Armies” and i had a feeling i knew the guy who played Thranduil

    http://i.imgur.com/3SueO2D.jpg

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Starkiller Base Planet was more stupider than Death Star (That’s No) Moon.

  • sepiajack

    But it wasn’t more training than Rey. Ben showed him virtually nothing in ANH, he had no training after that until he met with Yoda.

    So how is it any different? He moved the lightsaber with his mind, and he was never even told that was a thing. In fact when ANH was made moving objects with your mind wasn’t even part of using the force, it’s never referenced once in that movie.

    Just saying Luke had more training over and over is a fallacy.

    I agree she is very strong with the force, but that seems to be intentional and don’t forget JJ abrams likes to put things into OOOVVVEERDRIVE and ELECTROFY THEM!

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    i get the idea but the dialogue is shit. no subtly.

  • You started this… you will forgive me if I finish it!

  • Django Plimpton

    How much did Disney pay for that comment?

  • Prince Solomon

    oh my… do you already have the Max Landis haircut then? way to go full hollywood man!

  • bassbait

    I’d never shave either side of my head. I’m not *that* pretentious.

  • dochollerin

    Another fan of the Princess Leia action figure I see. Did you have the Barbie sized one?

  • bassbait

    I wish. I never had any star wars dolls, only barbie :'(

  • Domo

    I didn’t know elves could grow beards.

    Must be one of the Dúnedain. Possibly related to Aragorn.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I saw this moopie last night mostly so I’d be able to watch this review when it dropped. I even went to a 3D showing because the 2D ones were sold out. I just finished watching it even though I should be writing my final paper that’s overdue … which is very similar to what happened last year at this time I think. It’s like poetry.

    Do I get some sort of award, like a RedLetterMedal or something? Perhaps just a sticker or a button?

    PS – #RichEvans2016

  • The Ghost

    They bought me the sunglasses I’m wearing.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Strongbow cider is pretty good. I wonder if it makes TFA more tolerable.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    what? dude… he literally had more training than her… obiwan trained him on the falcon (i always thought it was implied he did more than what we saw because it would have been fucking boring to show it all), PLUS obiwan continued to talk to him as a ghost and tell him when to use the force all the frickin time after he died… Rey literally had no. training. and no jedi ghost to tell her what to do.

    I mean, it’s not a fallacy at all.. it’s an actual fact… does the small (yet existent) difference in the amount of training really matter? Maybe not, but it is a fact. AND even if she had the same amount of training, I think it’s clear she’s more powerful than what we’ve seen of him… most likely because as you say, JJ likes to put things on overdrive… so maybe when we see luke do his thing in the next movie, it’ll be different. But please, go back and watch the movies before you call things fallacies that are not.

  • Palpatine

    Can Hobbit’s like Jay grow beards?

  • Jay is obviously a dwarf.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    ps. virtually nothing is still more than literally nothing.

  • Domo

    Nono. He was tall enough to ride a human horse!

  • Palpatine

    Nah, not fat enough.

  • There’s a differance between being vaguely alluded to as a “good pilot” (which we never see any evidence of until the Death Star scene), and being able to shoot a torpedo through a tiny hole while travelling at high speed, under fire, with no targeting equipment, simply using the force (which Luke has trained in for 5 minutes).

    Let’s not look at the past with rose colored nostalgia goggles.

  • Not all of the dwarves from The Hobbit are fat.

  • Domo
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I have 9/11 on speed dial.

  • bassbait

    don’t accidentally call *too soon* or else they’ll *never forget* it.

  • bassbait

    I’ve learned from RLM’s No Brand Con video that alcohol is a good way to deal with social nervousness. But I don’t need it for public speaking I can do that just fine. The hard part for me is talking one on one casually, and small talk with various people I run into. Does anyone recommend being intoxicated at all times to circumvent this problem?

  • Domo

    Were you one of those kids who couldn’t get help because they couldn’t find 11 on their dial?

    Even Rich Evans could find the 11 on his phone dial when he set his Grandma’s house on fire!

  • Domo

    Really bad body odor just acts as a preventative measure so the problem never comes up in the first place.

    That or having a skunk as a service animal.

  • Palpatine

    Han didn’t die, by the way. He and I are now living at the bottom of the same mineshaft together.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He and are

  • bassbait

    in a new bromance spin-off: Shafted

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’s right Susan!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Coming out December 2021.

  • Domo

    It’s hard to make coherent sentences when you’re stuck in a mineshaft with grumpy Harrison.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Have you tried not giving a shit? Sometimes I try not giving a shit and it works, but other times I give too many shits and can’t overcome giving a shit.

  • Palpatine

    There, I fixed it you Canadian Grammar Nazi.

  • bassbait

    I keep accidentally giving shits. Maybe that’s my problem. People don’t like being given shits during casual conversation.

  • Domo

    It’s what happens when you make multiple pounds of fudge in one baking session. There’s only so many people who like fudge.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    While watching TFA, some 12 or 13 year old kid in my aisle got up and walked past me to go to the bathroom or whatever. While he passed me, however, he ‘accidentally’ spit out whatever he was chewing into my lap. Since I wasn’t sure if I was just imagining things, I felt around my chair and found it was a decent sized gob of Tootsie roll all chewed up.

    When the kid came back, he ‘accidentally’ spilled pop on the bottom of my friend’s pant leg, getting his sock wet.

    Did I mention he had purchased the $20 Stormtrooper 3D glasses (which had lenses that were smaller than regular 3D glasses) to watch the film in 3D like a good consumer whore?

    I don’t know how any of this relates to what you said.

  • bassbait

    sounds like this kid deserves to be given a shit.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Oh yeah, your ‘shits’ joke reminded me of the Tootsie roll gob I found in my lap.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Compactor? They barely knew ‘er!

  • Soundguy Furstie

    Peo Dameron: Arrogant, brash, but competent. Uses levity to diffuse tense situations, but is serious in his determination.

    Finn: Kind hearted, but cowardly. Socially awkward. Afraid to face his fears, but noble when forced to rise to a challenge.

    Rey: Cold in personality at first, and fiercely independent, as if relying on others would make her weaker. Satisfied with stagnation and fears moving forward until truly learning what she is missing.

  • Prince Solomon

    you guuuuys… i think i found undeniable proof that Disney paid for this HitB review… Mike you sellout!!!!!

    http://i.imgur.com/UQndHN2.jpg

    @instant kwanza: dang it, now i know why throughout the whole movie i was thinking the little hobbit woman was called Susan.

  • bassbait

    anyone ever notice how often Jay flaps his hands? Like he does the same hand gesture in every video, for years.

    It’s strangely endearing.

  • Looks like Mike felt some sort of awakening.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s more than she says in the entire movie. How delusional are these people?

    Oh, wait, $$$$$.

  • tOmy`

    Sounds more like a January release.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The whole galaxy is coming on us?

  • Prince Solomon

    …and now he probably needs to change his depends. hu hu hu Well at least we now know who’s daughter Rey is…

  • Domo

    Mike does a lot of hand movements, too. I think a long time ago some random commenter self-diagnosed Mike as having a blood disorder because of his red hands, and attributed it to his alcoholism.

    Now all I see are adorable alcohol hands.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m most worried about what will happen to my neck.

  • Like Icare

    It was. By a lot. Death Star kinda made sense as a doomsday weapon.

    Sad thing is… it didn’t have to be stupid.
    Give it a line to explain more clearly the whole positioning of the planets,
    give the god damn thing engines that make it move around and a moment of dread as it appears in the system.
    Also give the aftermath a moment of sinking in that billions of people have cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
    Make it feel like it all counts for something.

    Then…
    Make it a star killer by a reveal that at its core instead of a reactor it has a captured sun – make it a Dyson sphere.
    That way, there is nothing to blow up by a fleet of ships or X-wings.
    Make it a “What? You thought you can just fly in and blow it up? What do you think we were smoking? Cigarettes?” moment.

    Then… When everything seems lost… Just make those scenes from earlier pay off as foreshadowing.
    Small group of rebels led by Han makes it to the “central processing core” or “engineering section” or “secondary propulsion control system” where Han copies from Ray of Sunshine and bypasses main controls by shooting at a thing and saying “I bypassed it”.

    Then he explains how they will set the engines to make a jump right next to a gas giant and come out of the hyperspace just in time for it’s gravity field to break through the Starkiller base’s shields (which are also powered by the sun at the core and can deflect anything, even gravity). Just like he made it through the shields before.
    Then he pulls a Batman on everyone.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaJ47V2pnUw

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    As a doctor I say yes.

  • I’m really glad they liked this movie.

  • bassbait

    he used to point at Jay a lot. Idk if he does it anymore. The way he pointed was funny because he’d bend his wrist.

    I spend too much time observing things that nobody cares about.

  • bassbait

    you’re trying to use reverse psychology on me! Well it won’t work, I’m gonna drink anyways.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ3pNiVXHE8

  • GeneralGrievance

    I’m with bassbait

  • tOmy`

    So how about that Huntsman movie? Still nobody? Mkay.

  • bassbait

    everyone gets with me eventually, if you know what I mean 😉

  • bassbait

    Snow White and the Huntsmen?

  • tOmy`

    Yea, the sequel. Without Snow White.

    Because reasons.

  • bassbait

    I thought that trend died because nobody cared. The whole fairy tale action shlock thing.

  • tOmy`

    Observe! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_8W3D0ELRg

    Finally a dark fairytale with a dubstep soundtrack.

  • tOmy`

    It’s like Dread meets Hobbit.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    go back to tumblr! 😉 (jk, jay fangirl myself)

  • bassbait

    They’d better bring a camera over to my house in a thousand years because I’m about to Rip Van Winkle all over this trailer.

  • In ROTJ Luke is suddenly the ultimate badass, able to take on Jabba’s goons without breaking a sweat and able to defeat Darth Vader: despite the fact that he has had (as far as we are aware), a few months at most of training, and is going against one of the most powerful force-users in the galaxy, who has trained in the force for decades.

  • Prince Solomon

    tall enough to ride a human horse? oh you mean the scene where Yoda rides on Luke right? Yoda? Remember?

    http://i.imgur.com/rq22zOA.jpg

  • Like Icare

    I prefer Somersby pear cider. Sadly they didn’t have it…

    It made Oz the Great and Powerful more tolerable.

  • Prince Solomon

    You were meant to do this… You will give the people of Earth an ideal to strive towards. They will
    race behind you, they will stumble, they will fall. But in time, they
    will join you in the sun, bassbait. In time, you will help them accomplish
    wonders.

  • Like Icare

    Because American Ultra sealed Kristen Stewart’s career more thoroughly than tearing up a photo of the pope live on TV?

  • bassbait

    only after I destroy Metropolis and snap Zod’s neck.

  • bassbait

    tired as fuck, got little sleep and then stayed up hours past the right time for me to sleep.

    Goodnight! I promise I’ll have dreams of y’all. And if I don’t, I’ll just lie and say I did.

  • GeneralGrievance

    To watch Rich jerk off again before Episodes 8 & 9!

  • Prince Solomon

    so there is still hope!

  • Like Icare

    Snap, Neck’l and Zod… by Kellogg’s.

  • Prince Solomon

    nope, just Arnie. Big… naked… sweaty… Arnie. Still…look out for vagina monsters…you never know with those austrians.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This all sounds less stupider and more funner and less like the previous filmser and more newer and differenter.

  • Prince Solomon

    *picture of Justine Bateman fades in*

    COME ON

    *picture of Justine Bateman fades out*

  • Prince Solomon

    OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAHD

    …you are talking about American Flatulators aren’t you?

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    can’t we have flashbacks instead of expository dialogue? please let that be in the next ones (if needed)

  • Prince Solomon

    How can you simply abandon us? Goddamn you colonel!!!

    SEE YOU IN HELL 🙂

  • Generalzod

    Don’t get me wrong the film was great it brought back the magic of the first three films, I was hoping for something new not just a rehash of an old film…

  • Domo

    May your santa hat keep your music collection warm.

  • Prince Solomon

    as long as you leave Milwaukee Wisconsin alone i’m fine with neck snapping & city destroying that bassbait!

    @Like Icare: Your product placement is tooo subtle, unlike in MoS

  • RPK

    Double posted from the click bait video but meant to post it here..

    First of all those Rotten Tomatoes scores are straight trash. This is a 2.5 out of 4 star (70%) movie . You could argue maybe for a 3/4 stars, but the reviews on RT are ridiculously over-inflated.

    The Force Awakens was J.J. Abrams at his best and worst. There are some memorable scenes, some interesting action sequences, but in the end who cares when all you are doing is rehashing old plot lines with a few new sprinkles here and there. And what is up with the dialogue? Can they at least try to have a conversation that is more than a single sentence? For pete’s sake let the scenes chill. Let the audience breathe in the atmosphere and the characters. Abrams seems almost afraid that we’ll see them as too hollow or that audiencewill get bored. He must have no faith in his own story telling ability or in the audience’s attention span.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    i liekd teh part wen the deaf star killar 3 blowed up and wen it wuz fest n xsiting and da boom boom pow but not 2 much boom booms

  • Like Icare

    Me and my buddy got lucky. The only version playing at the mall where his wife wanted to shop at the time we were there was a 2D version. And kids around us were stationary, though a bit bored by the end.

    We did think about purchasing a Star Wars popcorn+drink+toy… but we then recalculated just how much that many dinars is in real money… so we passed on that.

    Instead I came home with many packages of scented green tea.
    For a moment I felt rich (affluent, not Rich) paying for my tea with a big wad of bills I had left on me, with the price for it all being over a thousand dinars.
    Then the girl at the tea counter said “Oh great, thanks! I was really short on change!”

  • Generalzod

    I quite enjoyed the film I was entertain for 2 hours just a little bit disappointed that they couldn’t come up with an original idea.

  • Domo

    I do remember Oscar Isaac saying in an interview he wanted to build his character visually with more facial expressions or whatnot, but Abrams kept yelling “Get on with it!”

    Here’s hoping the next director gives all the characters even more time to develop.

  • GeneralGrievance

    It was cool to have a character like Finn who still has a moral compass despite every attempt at brainwashing. We haven’t had a character like him in the Star Wars universe yet. He could be considered the opposite of a Darth Vader or Kylo Ren.

  • Generalzod

    I loved it as well.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Mike likes Die Hard 2: Die Harder (a perfectly decent movie). If a movie is entertaining enough, without being insulting, he will like it.

  • Prince Solomon

    and taht hot chik wuz so hot dude, bro Leiaa i meen, she maade ma pantz go boom boom

  • Domo

    Is that a thord in your pants or are you just happy to see boom booms?

  • Prince Solomon

    Something happened to me last night when I was driving home from the movie theatre. I had a couple of miles to go. I looked up and saw a glowing orange object in the sky. It was moving irregularly. Suddenly, there was intense light all around. And when I came to, I was home. What do you think happened to me? Fine, forget it. I hear it’s amazing when the Purple-stuffed worm in Flap-jaw space, with the tuning fork, does a raw-blink on Hari-kiri Rock! I need scissors! 61!

  • Like Icare

    How ’bout a vote up? The greatest honor any RLM commenter can hope for.

    Kinda like that thing with samurai and death in battle.

  • Quotidian, Man

    I also laughed but I thought it was the right thing to do. Han shot first and always had a bit of a dark streak. He’s not the kind of guy to reach out a helping hand to guys that were just moments ago threatening to kill him and take all his stuff.

  • Photographic film is not cheap, kids. The man runs a business.

  • Prince Solomon

    YeAAh ma thord awakened BRO

  • Like Icare

    What? You don’t like pancakes? Hey… if it’s OK for Iggy and Tom…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=49tTzEifY6M#t=367

  • Prince Solomon

    Corus-cant?
    CUT!

  • Sully

    With Darth Maul’s legs and Luke’s hand?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I liked the part when nostalgia.

  • Like Icare

    Well… Like I said… had to cut out the bit about food and cider and my asshole feeling funny…

  • Domo

    Y’know what? Of all the callbacks that were in this film.I really, really wish they did a “Han shot first” thing, if for no other reason to set that shit straight.

    Finn: “Why’d you shoot that bounty hunter?”
    Han: “Because I’ll always shoot first.”

    Done!

  • Prince Solomon

    if some halflings are getting skinned alive and tossed down from the highest point in Minas Tirith while injected with some fancy Athelas plant ( you know, Kingsfoil, it grows everywhere) … well in that case i’m in!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Some things never change.”

  • IntotheNightSky

    By lifetime soldier, you mean the guy who was working sanitation right up until the start of the movie?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Still better than Boba Fett… the most popular SW thing behind Vader and Han Solo.

  • Django Plimpton

    I like to think Han punching some random ass guy in the face and then throwing the poor bastard into the mouth of a tentacle monster set that shit straight. That’s definitely the handy work of a guy that shoots first.

  • Prince Solomon

    i’ve analysed this scene with a team of professional monkeys and i still don’t know where the hell they got that delicious coffee from…

  • jbob4mall

    The Empire were Nazis. These new guys are basically neo-nazis. The Resistance are resisting the emergence of neo-nazism and hunting down ex-empire people like how nazi’s in hiding were still being hunted down after WW2.

  • Domo

    I just want a blatant scene with that dialogue so I could see interviews with George Lucas skirting around the issue instead of endless praise being heaped on him. It would be better than Carrie Fisher interviews.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s like Pottery, it Patronus.

  • Like Icare

    I’m not saying “I could have done it better” – just suggesting an alternative that might have had more sense and emotional connection.
    Nothing original really… ID4 did something similar… Should have Han called home while going down it would have been like the Abyss…

    But that whole thing in the movie with Han and with the Star…killer… at best it felt empty.
    General Admiral’s speech on the other hand was right out funny.
    It shouldn’t feel funny when millions of people are about to die.

    Plus the whole X-wing thing was… sterile. I seriously felt no attachment to any of those pilots. Did some of them die? I think some of them died. I think I saw some get killed. But my brain didn’t.

  • That’s to be expecto.

  • Prince Solomon

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    …on getting 3d glasses

    Well i personally think and i’m sure that Like Icare & Domo would agree that you definitely deserve at least a RLM™ Folding Chable™

  • Well he has never had a woman… not sure where I’m going with this.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Fantastic Puns and Where to Find Them.

  • And we’re Rowling…

  • Prince Solomon

    why the hell would Rich need a woman for? what can a woman offer him what the ShowBiz Pizza Bear can’t?

  • Like Icare

    So like… They blow up Argentina in the end?

    OMG! The whole movie is a metaphor for Falklands War!

  • IntotheNightSky

    The real question is how Maz managed to find Anakin/Luke’s Lightsaber. It fell down a massive industrial pit that opened up into the atmosphere of a gas giant. You’d have better luck finding a quarter you dropped off the Hoover Dam.

  • GeneralGrievance

    Star Wars only needs 93 more episodes to catch up to HITB

  • Palpatine

    Yes.

  • Domo

    The Millenium Falcon is gonna have an offensive license plate to celebrate the occasion.

    Be sure to look for it in Top Gear Episode IX!

  • BCFC25

    Now that Disney has the rights dont bet against that lol

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Or an ewok sold it to him.

  • Prince Solomon

    yeah General Admiral’s speech, i thought he would start to cry any moment…

    at least in the ANH X-Wing attack Porkins died, oh poor Porkins, there was no Porkins in TFA… that movie had no soul. RIP Jek Porkins™

  • Joe Matthews

    Why do people think they need to look at Rotten Tomatoes or Metacritic in order to validate their own opinions? You either like a movie or you don’t. Maybe I’m biased since I personally loved this movie, but I mean I haven’t even looked at any of the reviews aside from HITB, because I don’t actually care. It’s odd to me that people consider RT or any of those websites to be the be-all end-all of what everyone should think.

  • Prince Solomon

    Fuck you Rick Berman! What is it with Ricks?!?!?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    When time and money are both limited resources I care about, RT and Metacritic are handy, but not always accurate, utilities.

  • GeneralGrievance

    I still remember my thoughts on seeing the first Half In The Bag episode, “fuck this, when’s the next Plinkett review?!” But HITB quickly grew on me. Now, all I want from RLM is HITB…and commentary tracks…and pizza rolls…and more Plinkett reviews, namely all the Transformers movies and Terminator Genisys

  • Prince Solomon
  • Joe Matthews

    Good point. They do make good calls a lot of the time, I think I’ve just learned not to trust them too much over the years. IMDB actually tends to give me a better picture since it’s generally just regular users and not journalists, but then again they’ve also got their Top 250 “movies that got a high rating on this website which means they are the best movies” thing going on

  • Like Icare
  • What will the title of Star Wars Episode 100?

  • Joe Matthews

    One of my favorite moments was Rey’s whole introduction scene. No dialogue or anything, just pure visual storytelling. Same with the very end scene. I also love that Luke is basically the new old wise wizard, because it goes along with the whole thing about Star Wars being this mythical tale and not some complex sci-fi universe

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    and vaders robot hand.

  • The Ghost

    I think Mike saying “I loved it” coaxed more emotion out of me than anything in the film did.

  • Domo

    I do think it’s nice to go to RT to see movies with incredibly low scores. That’s probably a more accurate measure than higher rated films.

  • Prince Solomon

    Dude your post is longer than that “War & Peace” novel i use to smash flies with but unlike W&P there is no mention of zombies of any kind… still i find your post very interesting and absolutely share your view, soulmate!

    This is more of what i had expected to hear from Mike…but alas he sold his soul to Disney…that hack fraud… i knew he couldn’t be trusted after he was “sold” on that Jurassic World trailer when Chris Pratt was riding a motorcycle along some raptors…

  • Joe Matthews

    True, the 9% for Fantastic Four was what made me actually go see it. Like I had to gaze upon the trainwreck for myself.

  • Like Icare

    I don’t really trust imdb until some years have passed and the movie amasses couple of hundred thousand votes.

    I remember too vividly the Batman vs. the mob days.
    When Dark Knight pushed up past the Godfathers to No.1 – causing an uproar and a voting war with assholes on both sides, the whole thing ending with Shawshank Redemption being the best movie ever.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I couldnt feel anything when Han died because of Harrison’s hatred of the franchise over the years and his obvious desire to never do another one.
    Kylo Ben didnt kill Han, Harrison Ford did.

  • Prince Solomon

    Perhaps it’s because in the theatre you were wearing your regular robes but at home while watching HitB you are wearing your sex robe, you know…with that little hood that you bought at a one dollar store. It makes you more susceptible to emotions Grand Overlord Mitchell !

  • GeneralGrievance

    Star Wars Episode 100: Return Of The Holiday Special

  • The Ghost

    CLOSE THOSE FUCKIN’ BLAST DOORS!

  • Prince Solomon

    Alec Guinnes hated Star Wars, Ford hates Star Wars, Anthony Daniels & Peter Mayhew are pricks, Carrie Fisher..well.. ahem…

    kinda makes the SW movie watching experience a little bit darker doesn’t it?

  • Prince Solomon

    If only you were there on the Starkiller my Grand Overlord, if only you were there

  • JAG

    Sorry to be that guy, but it was the Hosnian system, not Coruscant.

    GOSH

  • Domo

    I actually cheered, but then saw no one else felt that way, and slunk down in my seat.

    I’ll get to cheer unabashedly tomorrow, instead!

  • Domo

    My aunt just called asking if I wanted Fan4stic for a last-minute Christmas gift, to which I replied “No Auntie. I don’t want a piece of coal this year. I swear I’ve been good!”

  • The Ghost

    I don’t belong on the Starkiller.

    There ain’t no music down there.

  • Commander X
  • Like Icare

    Well… the stream of consciousness is a bitch…

    As for Mike… I have this nagging feeling… maybe it’s just hope… that Mike might change his mind later down the road when he sees the whole thing a few more times and the flaws dawn on him when he cools down.
    I have a feeling he’s just too pleased that there was no Jar Jar in the movie, practical effects and real locations, and that some of the old characters were back so the movie looks way better compared to the prequels.

    Cause compared to the prequels it really IS a better movie.

    It’s just that it is very, very flawed in some places… but at least it’s not a complete hatchet job like Jar Jar’s Star Trek was.

  • Prince Solomon
  • Earth

    Captain Phasma was the Boba Fett of the movie. I’m hoping in the next film she jumps into the battle then gets immediately killed in a dumb and humiliating way.

    It’s like poetry. It’d rhyme.

  • Django Plimpton

    This is worse than the time I found out the cast of Friends aren’t really friends.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Yeah, it’s the Not-Coruscant to Jakku’s Not-Tatooine.

  • Like Icare

    Didn’t Fin and Han put her in the trash compactor on the about to go boom starbase?

    I seem to remember Fin being really pleased about the idea of sticking that honkey bitch between some hydraulic steel plates.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Except he was originally slated to die in Return of the Jedi. The only one who disagreed was Lucas.

  • Prince Solomon

    @LikeIcare01:disqus http://i.imgur.com/6nZQNA0.jpg

    @Earth: Boba kept his mouth mostly shut -> badass. Phasma was like lalalalalblalblalblalblalblaBetraytheFirstOrderblablbla dead -> “Meh.” – Rich Evans, 2014

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    They shouldn’t look anyway. Statistics have plenty of pitfalls. Metastatistics multiply these pitfalls exponentially.

  • Domo

    Oh, he knows. He. Knows.

    I can see it now.

    “Can I die now?”
    “Are you gonna be grumpy?”
    “If you put it in my contract I won’t be grumpy.”
    “Sold!”

  • Joe Matthews

    I also can’t wait for the Jango Fett prequel where he and Watto discuss property values and the galactic stock market for 2 1/2 hours!

  • Prince Solomon

    I hope you won’t get … * whiplashed * . . . ta dum tss

  • Earth

    I was meaning in the sense that the costume is cool looking to sell toys and nothing else.

    The gang survived a trash compactor in Star Wars, so her fate like all the other villains was left open to question.

  • Like Icare

    As a citizen of Bosnia and Herzegovina I find that insulting. First it was Kasnia and now this.
    Go back to blowing up Val Verde you assholes!

  • Joe Matthews

    We need to stop Victor, he is the source.

  • Prince Solomon

    but C3PO had no communicator…and R2-D2 was in stand-by mode… how could they have possibly helped Captain Phasma out of that trash compactor? plot hole!!!!!!!!

  • Prince Solomon

    So we start out on Not-Tatooine, later Not-Coruscant gets blown up…and immediately after that the Not-Deathstar… did we all just watch Not-Star Wars?

  • Like Icare
  • Archfiend_Baramos

    PLASMA CANNONS CAN’T MELT SPACE STEEL!

  • Joe Matthews

    Exactly. Plus not all the positive reviews are going to be raving/absolute praise and not all the negative reviews are going to be complete trashings of a film so it just muddles everything even more

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Han is exactly that guy that would throw an enemy to a monster to save himself.

  • bluntdragon

    jay suffers from being part of the berenstain universe.

    the line is actually, “No, I am your father.” not “luke I am your father”

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    And evil is everywhere.

  • Prince Solomon

    You on the Starkiller running into Chewbacca:

    You: “Stop! Friend or Enemy?”
    Chewie: “Rrrrrrr-ghghghghgh”
    You: “You’re liar.”
    *Grand Overlord Mitchell shoots Chewie with his blaster*

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaH2chWHuGQ

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    What the–did you just compare The Empire Strikes Back unfavorably to a harem anime?!

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I thought it was “Luke, I banged your mother”

  • Prince Solomon

    hmmm i don’t recall his son’s name to be “No”, i really think it was “Luke”, so it must’ve been “Luke, I am your father.”

  • Prince Solomon

    @lukaswormthethird:disqus I’m sure that’s what David Prowse said that day on the set… would explain Luke’s facial expression^^

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    He didn’t get any more training on the Falcon. He played lightsaber with the spheroid thing and they arrived at the remains of Alderaan immediately thereafter.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    yep. deal with it B)

  • Archfiend_Baramos
  • jbob4mall

    Yes. Who hasn’t wanted to blow up Argentina?

  • Earth

    Spoilers.

    I liked the dynamics in the lightsaber fight. It was different to anything we’ve really seen before. There was a feeling of hatred and revenge with Rey and Finn, but they’re also just fighting to survive and fighting for each other. And there was anger and angst with Kylo Ren, wanting to show off how awesome he is and failing at it and pissed off that he sucks with the Force with an untrained nobody being better at it than him.

    I really hope they do something different with the second film. I don’t want to see another Death Star. I don’t want Rey’s story to just be, I need to redeem Kylo Ren because he’s my brother/cousin/whatever. It all hangs on the next movie I guess and whether they’re set on just remaking movies we’ve already seen or if they’ll actually try to do something new.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    The only reason I have for wanting her to be Luke’s daughter is it’s the only explanation for why R2 suddenly wakes up at the end outside a massive plot contrivance.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    It was in a separate system entirely from both the Resistance planet and the Hosnian Prime system. The Cantina planet was in the same system as the Hosnian Prime system.

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    Of course, a plot inconsistency with being able to see these planets blowing up from far away = the movie is garbage. I got ya.

  • Prince Solomon

    until then i imagine you’ll act like this the whole time

    https://49.media.tumblr.com/03be4eaf0d541547716d75c84603eada/tumblr_nb9451OPs31qmrnvxo1_250.gif

    …act like The Master does… the one who brings balance to the Farce that has become Half in the Bag… the one that was given life by the SithBiz Pizza Bear…

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    I guess not much more, but it’s not like we see the full thing, since it cuts to him already practicing. At any rate, he does get “more” training than Rey, for what it’s worth. :/

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I’m seeing it on Wednesday (don’t care about spoilers). I wonder if in the next movie like, EVERYONE loses their hand.

  • ElectricPrism

    It’s true The Phantom Menace, The Clone Wars, All of It!

  • Earth

    Oprah Winfrey: “AND YOU’RE LOSING A HAND! AND YOU’RE LOSING A HAND!”

  • LukasWormTheThird

    Oprah is not a bad Star Wars name.

  • Prince Solomon

    @mitchelltaconash:disqus War has changed. It’s no longer about nations, ideologies, or ethnicity.
    It’s an endless series of proxy battles fought by mercenaries and
    machines. War – and its consumption of life – has become a well-oiled
    machine. War has changed. ID-tagged soldiers carry ID-tagged weapons,
    use ID-tagged gear. Nanomachines inside their bodies enhance and
    regulate their abilities. Genetic control. Information control. Emotion
    control. Battlefiled control. Everything is monitored and kept under
    control. War has changed. The age of deterrence has become the age of
    control…All in the name of averting catastrophe from weapons of mass
    destruction. And he who controls the battlefield…controls history. War
    has changed. When the battlefield is under total control…War becomes
    routine

  • Archfiend_Baramos

    EDIT: Wow, what a bunch of assholes. They really did not pay MC Chris.

  • Earth

    Spoilers (Kind of. I’m gonna say spoilers whenever I talk about the movie).

    I really liked the scenes with Rey scavenging and you see her living in an AT-AT. It was nice visual storytelling.

  • Acid Twin

    I’m surprised there’s not more discussion regarding the music/score in the film. I was really disappointed with it, just standard stock action music occasionally sliced into the original themes. Nothing new or nothing on the Duel of the Fates level.

  • LukasWormTheThird

    We get to finally know Watto’s true full name, Watto Flyjew.

  • Earth

    I’m actually kind of sad that we’ll never get to see Han, Chewy and Rey flying around being space pirates.

    Holy shit, I actually feel something.

  • Earth

    If they threw people into the Sarlaac Pit I don’t see how throwing a guy into a monster mouth is any different.

  • Prince Solomon

    yeah try to remember any new melody from the film. just one new melody… i can’t think of anything. i wrote earlier:

    Ep1 had Duel of the Fates
    Ep2 had Across the Stars
    Ep3 had Battle of the Heroes
    Ep4 had all the great SW music
    Ep5 had the Imperial March
    Ep6 had Yub-Nub (yeah YUB-NUB BABY!!!!)

    Ep7 ???

    I would’ve rather listened to Michael Giacchino’s take on SW music, his Jupiter Ascending score was quite starwarsy…also his first two Medal of Honor scores were absolutely brilliant

  • Prince Solomon

    Oprah the Hutt? Has a nice ring to it… everybody losing their hands…genius! i would pay to watch that for a dollar!

  • LukasWormTheThird

    I see her more as a Sith, because she’s, you know.

    Evil.

  • Prince Solomon

    I watched the Holiday Special once… now i’m suffering from a lumpy bacca…

    oh and btw, 3 more days and we can celebrate Life Day yaaaaaaaay

  • Palpatine

    Maybe it’s because John Williams is getting old. And besides, Giacchino is considered to be Williams’ protege, so maybe he can compose the upcoming films.

  • Prince Solomon

    and we’re Mcgonagone

  • Prince Solomon

    So it’s decided then, in Episode VIII Darth Oprah the Hutt will cut off everyones hands… now i’m actually excited about that film again! can’t wait for the epic final showdown between Darth Oprah the Hutt and her Kowakian monkey-lizard that betrays her in the end

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7a2Uf5di8k

  • tOmy`

    Yea, it was pretty disappointing. I had the same feeling with Hobbit, when I waited for the credits just to see if it really was Shore’s work.

  • Prince Solomon

    damn, i always thought it was Sheev Watto… kinda makes him sound menacing doesn’t it?

    fun fact: Jango had a Toydarian female associate named Rozatta when he was simply a bounty hunter. Maybe that’s Watto’s Mom…

  • Acid Twin

    Hobbit did have that one song though, was it “The Misty Mountains”?

  • Prince Solomon

    indeed! except for misty mountains they really didn’t offer much new, oh yeah there was also that “love ballad” (Feast of Starlight?). and inappropriate use of LotR iconic music (the Ringwraiths theme when Thorin was about to fight Arzog on that cliff with the burning trees? wuuuuuut???

  • Prince Solomon

    can’t you use your dark side powers to come up with some groovy tunes for Episode VIII Sheev? Come on, Sheev. Come on please. Sheev. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeev!

    http://i.imgur.com/6nZQNA0.jpg

  • Domo

    Wait! Come back! A lot of the dickheads left and for the past several hours a bunch of us regulars have been goofing off and having fun.

    They’ll probably be back tomorrow, but we got tonight, at least!

  • Domo

    I think Howard Shore simply went “Hey! There’s orcs in this scene! Oh! And there’s trolls in this one! Time to pull from what I had before!”

    That or the films are so incredibly long that the orchestra died from exhaustion. That’s another possibility.

  • Prince Solomon

    Hoping indeed, you and me both! I’m sure there will be a Plinkett review (or at least mini review) of some sort, he did one for Star Trek 09 and still kinda liked it for what it was supposed to be. We shall see…

    Have you seen the new Star Trek Beyond trailer? Doesn’t this remind you of Star Trek The Motion Picture? Space exploration, mysterious phenomena and futuristic science! Ah Star Trek!

  • Prince Solomon

    Rey: “That’s no mo..oh wait, it is.”

  • GeneralGrievance

    The Rifftrax guys made a comment on a scene in the Holiday Special that sums up the whole movie perfectly, “it’s not every day you see the worst thing you’ve ever seen in your life”

  • Domo

    Oprah gives you free cars under your chair, but then sends the gift tax forms to the IRS come tax time.

    There’s a special place in Hell for a she-demon like her!

  • Prince Solomon

    the orchestra died from exhaustion…now there’s a thought. xD

    They made it through 3 LotR movies and their 12 hours of extended editions..only to be bested by The Hobbit

  • Palpatine

    Oh come on, you didn’t like the scene where the Goblin King sings? It was just as necessary as this:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2jzZOgLH4KU

  • Ogrot

    POSSIBLE SPOILERS SO READ AT YOUR RISK.

    Just saw it and I think I’m with Jay on this. This was a better movie than RotJ. I also find myself agreeing with Max Landis surprisingly that Rey is a character in search of a flaw or weakness. If she is going to be a character that awakens to the force and be awesomer at it than someone who has been training, she needs some kind of drawback that provides the character with some risk and drama. They gave her a repressed memory PTSD thing to be part of her character which is fine, but given that the force supposedly requires a disciplined mind to wield perhaps therein lies her drawback. Why did she have to be awesome with it and in control of it when she wants to be? Why not she’s awesome with it but she has no control; making her a danger to herself and others. Thus giving her stakes to struggle with and an externalization for the identity crisis her character is struggling with. A great moment for this to manifest itself would’ve been in the final lightsaber duel. Rather than Kylo Ben putting Finn Boyega down for the count it could have been Ray in an attempt to save Finn with some kind of force push against Kylo Ben when he’s about to do some kind of masterstroke. Only instead of masterfully throwing Just Kylo against a tree she hurls them both across the forest and finds herself unable to control her powers as she is emotionally swept up in the moment as she struggles with survival and a repressed past that she has not reconciled with. It would give her more reason to seek out Luke who to her knowledge is the only non Kylo Ben who can tell her about any of this shit.

    Otherwise like Jay said the movie generally succeeded in everything it needed to. Harrison Ford was great and, though, I never liked the BB-8 design from an aesthetic point of view it one me over. I’m looking forward to seeing more Poe Dameron and Finn. I’m hoping Rey gets some stakes in the next movie and that her PTSD/Repression will have some real character challenges for her. That said Ridley did well with the material given to her.

    Also on a side note about Mary Sue comments in relation to her character I’d say she’s riding the line, but ultimately she isn’t one. When I think of the problem of the Mary Sue I think of Wesley Crusher in the Star Trak episode where everyone gets addicted to a free to play video game drug visor with microtransactions. And while everyone including the ever competent Jean Luc Picard are spending all of their gold pressed latinum to buy upgrades for their virtual ball swallowing worms only Wesley Crusher can save the day, because he was the only one smart enough to say no to FTP microtransaction VR video game drugs. The episode required everyone on the ship to behave out of character and make impulsive decisions as if they all sustained massive head injuries to provide a vehicle where Wesley’s true special brilliance can shine. And that is the problem with the Mary Sue. Not that they are exceptional beyond belief, but that the world around them is required to twist themselves into an idiotic fantasy of incompetence to emphasize their awesomeness. It is when the narrative dissolves into solipsistic fantasy. Like when everyone in The Room keeps talking about how awesome Johnny is or how Neil Bream’s assassination target’s kill themselves, because they know the wrath of Neil Bream is upon them. I would argue Rey doesn’t come close to meeting that standard. Her competence doesn’t undermine the movie world in that kind of destructive way. She just needs more stakes to play with as a character, because she’s kind of lacking them right now.

  • Prince Solomon

    Clearly you meant Gamestat- Nevermind. You meant nevermind.

  • Joshua Marchant

    Carrie Fisher’s mouth had as much articulation as Jabba the Hutt’s
    http://i.imgur.com/T2TQvc4.jpg

  • Ogrot

    Also on a side note about Mary Sue comments in relation to her character I’d say she’s riding the line, but ultimately she isn’t one. When I think of the problem of the Mary Sue I think of Wesley Crusher in the Star Trak episode where everyone gets addicted to a free to play video game drug visor with microtransactions. And while everyone including the ever competent Jean Luc Picard are spending all of their gold pressed latinum to buy upgrades for their virtual ball swallowing worms only Wesley Crusher can save the day, because he was the only one smart enough to say no to FTP microtransaction VR video game drugs. The episode required everyone on the ship to behave out of character and make impulsive decisions as if they all sustained massive head injuries to provide a vehicle where Wesley’s true special brilliance can shine. And that is the problem with the Mary Sue. Not that they are exceptional beyond belief, but that the world around them is required to twist themselves into an idiotic fantasy of incompetence to emphasize their awesomeness. It is when the narrative dissolves into solipsistic fantasy. Like when everyone in The Room keeps talking about how awesome Johnny is or how Neil Bream’s assassination target’s kill themselves, because they know the wrath of Neil Bream is upon them. I would argue Rey doesn’t come close to meeting that standard. Her competence doesn’t undermine the movie world in that kind of destructive way. She just needs more stakes to play with as a character, because she’s kind of lacking them right now.

  • Prince Solomon

    I’m offended and i feel Hutt

  • Domo

    Considering the time constraints the Hobbit filming schedule existed in, I could totally see the orchestra burning the midnight oil to get those films done.

  • Prince Solomon

    oooh nooo… i feel like my brain is trying to protect me from that awful song ..that’s why i forgot about it. kinda like Mike when he forgot all about Alien Seed.

    Goblin rocks & Jedi rocks… aren’t there any human rights that are supposed to protect us from atrocities like this?

  • Prince Solomon

    but that would be inadvisable!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRG7fZuQSk0

  • Palpatine
  • Prince Solomon

    Thank you! I’m yours to command my Lord.

  • Ogrot

    Am I the only one who thought of Bruce Campbell as Ash when Poe Dameron appeared?

  • Domo

    Nope! I thought Oscar Isaac/Poe Dameron was similar to Bruce Campbell in both mannerisms and appearance.

    He just needs a boomstick.

  • Rammy

    Gotta say, I hated it. It was essentially a rehash and the same exact story with different characters, different motivations, a different ending, characters from a previous story that the audience is familiar with who have evolved, a plot that isn’t as self-contained, and mystery surrounding a great number of plot elements that weren’t in the originals. I just wish they had tried something or anything new. Like maybe they could try introducing characters that aren’t these archetypal figures that every person can relate too. Maybe they could make like a Star Wars version of Taxi Driver or Serpico. Or maybe they should let Werner Herzog direct Episode IX. Another thing, there was a lot of new stuff with the Force that I didn’t like because it was different than the old Star Wars, especially the prequels. I mean, do these guys even understand that the Force is basically this rigid discipline and you have to be specially trained in order to do certain things? It’s like welding, basically. I mean, let’s not be unrealistic about this mystical energy field that surrounds and penetrates everything in this fictional setting. Don’t make me laugh, J.J. I wish they had just made an adaptation of an EU novel instead of expanding on the things that people enjoy. Better yet, I wish I could possibly be happy. Happy with anything.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I just watched episode 8 of ash vs evil dead. fucking epic and far more emotionally engaging than TFA.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    That is perfect. the jaw flaps but the lips never move. Botox is a bitch.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    That is the tragically sad thing Dule of the Fates is more memorable than any of the score from TFA. even the old bits that were ‘Touched Up.’ and I mean sexualy assualted not improved.

  • Kenlin Bros

    That map was such a stupid plot point.

    Why do you need a map to get to a planet? If you had an incomplete map with a sector missing, surely all you need to do is consult a starmap for that incomplete sector? Why would you need to go along a dotted red line?

    It felt like something they’d put into an early draft and forgot that it stopped making any sense. If adding in the missing sector had caused it to “decrypt” in some way with stars moving about into a proper configuration or something, maybe it could have not seemed so monumentally dumb. It was just… shit.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Yeah, the rehash part was definitely odd, especially considering it is the first time they have done that in the history of Star Wars: until now, each movie has introduced new themes, characters and ideas instead of recycling old ones. Here’s to hoping they don’t get any ideas when they see the box office returns on TFA.

  • Jason Ross

    He ought to have gotten over it by now. Red Tails and Strange Magic were dear to his heart of whatever and they turned out to be shit shows.

  • Jason Ross

    Hah

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Han grabbed the guy ahead of him and threw him at the monster so he could escape. thats pretty fucked up.
    Smart but fucked up.
    And most people fell into the sarlacc pit. I dont remember Han or anyone else throwing someone in, except for R2D2, who we all know is a psychopath.

  • Ogrot

    I have my doubts, because the well just isn’t that deep. We all know they aren’t going to dredge anything up from the prequels, and J.J. has become a bit more artful with the nods than he was in the Star Trak reboot where he has Captain Jock T. Kirk crawl out of a bed with a half naked green lady.

  • Kenlin Bros

    I feel really let down by this review, to be honest. It’s like they were so happy not to be disappointed that they forgot to critique the movie like they would for any other.

    I came out of the cinema thinking that it was an entertaining mess. After 24 hours the sheen had worn off, and now a couple of days later I actively dislike and resent it. I think that reviewing it so soon after seeing it was a mistake by the guys, like they’re punchy and not thinking straight – in a couple of months when they look back at this review, I think they’ll be sort of embarrassed. And it gives me no joy to say that, because I love these guys!

  • Domo

    FN-2187, an honorably discharged First Order stormtrooper, is a lonely soul living on Coruscant. After trying to win over a former campaign volunteer of Senator Palpatine by showing off his force choking trick, she’s insulted, and refuses to see him again.

    FN-2187, taking up a job as a mid-air crossing guard on Coruscant’s busy “streets”, meets a droid who’s forced to help his Jedi master on dangerous secret missions. FN-2187 convinces the droid, BB8, that it’s probably going to be taken apart for spare parts, but cannot convince it to leave the dangerous profession it was made for.

    After an unsuccessful attempt to blow up the Senate building, a dejected FN spots BB8 trying to steal a map fragment from Max Von Sydow at its master’s request. FN-2187 shoots the Jedi Master, shoots several bouncers, as beeps and boops can be heard in the background. The Jedi’s lightsaber graces FN-2187’s neck, causing the Jedi Master to be shot in the head with a blaster by First Order troops.

    FN-2187 sees the gleeful relief of BB8, knowing he can go back home and take care of its dying droid parent, R2D2. As BB8 leaves, a StarKiller base blows up Coruscant.

    The End

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m back from my hiking trip and you guys are now hating on the movie. To quote Max Driver “TRAITOR”

  • Palpatine

    I’m not hating on it!

  • Domo

    Did RLM re-upload a new video to make us all look like fools?

    Those clever bastards!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If you think this film is Prequel level, heartless internet man children, you need to first get your head out of your ass and then go to your doctor. It seems you were born with out a brain.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh I get it. Smart comment. Take that internet.

  • Smee

    *Spoiler alert*

    Totally agree with jay’s thoughts about JJ not making Rey related to Luke or Kylo’s twin. If she has to be related to anyone it better be Obi Wan. Luke training her the way Obi Wan taught him would be miles better than just mirroring the original trilogy. No ‘stanza’-esque George Lucas prequel copying JJ. It’s worked for this movie but make this so for the next. You’ve been warned.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Disney just beat Universal for having the highest grossing domestic opening ever at $238 million.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJOjTNuuEVw

  • TheVerySpecialK

    (P)requel, P=16, (S)equel, S=19

    Less is more, so

    P>S

    Therefore,

    Prequels are better, maths said so.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Obi Wan died 20 years before she was born.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Did you also go on a hiking trip as well?

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Who says force ghosts can’t have a little fun from beyond the grave?

  • Domo

    Ghosts can impregnate people in this universe, dudn’t you know?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ewan McDonald cameoed! It could happened dammit!

  • Palpatine

    No.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Did it beat Titanic? Can anyone?

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Yeah, they “Force” themselves on people.

  • Palpatine

    Really, where?

  • Ogrot

    No one can.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Rey’s vision. He recorded new dialogue for it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Actually there is only one man who can….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67MRiMT9cnE

  • Domo

    Well, it’s more like walking through a person and impregnating someone that way.

    I think that’s how Shmi Skywalker got pregnant with Anakin. Jedi Ghost walked through and impregnated her while she was doing the dishes. She just never knew!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh. I guess hiking isn’t the only way to not hate the film because “want to be cool”

  • TheVerySpecialK

    That means Jesus was a rape baby!

  • Palpatine

    How does hating on the film make someone “want to be cool”?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hating movies makes you cool according to dumb retards.

  • Palpatine

    No, it just means you have a negative opinion on something. And sorry to say it, but there’s nothing wrong with that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Correction: hating a film and saying you’re opinion is right and being an asshole makes you cool according to dumb retards. My fault, as evident by me not liking Boyhood.

  • Han looks like an alcoholic, middle-aged Shinji Ikari in that second pic.

  • Palpatine

    Now there I agree with you. Opinions are not facts.

  • Smee

    Related doesn’t have to mean father and daughter

  • Lucid Flux

    It’d be funny if they create some sort of relationship between Kylo and Rey just to make you think they are going to end up related but then it turns out they aren’t at related at all.

    Gotta have incest so it rythmes.

  • dleejuly83

    I watched this in Marathon format at a local movie theater and I had a few observations

    1.Phantom Menace is STILL a horrible movie. Nothing about it except the pod races were entertaining in it. Leslie Nelson was acting like a Jesus figure the whole time and it was bogged down by PC dialogue and just boring scenes.

    2.Attack of the Clones- a WATCHABLE movie for the most part. Its so much more entertaining than PM but that’s not really saying much. The movie actually becomes worse as the CGI looks outdated like PS4 could do better. Obiwan landing on the clone planet looked like some scene from Mass Effect. Lucas looks like he took severe shortscut in this movie in the budget CGI and just let things that looked out of place or unnatural stay in. Yoda’s CGI character looks too fake to be taken seriously

    3. Revenge of the Sith- It SOMEONEWHAT FIXES alot of the problems from the previous two but I am convinced that Anakin turned because of his mother’s death and it was all downhill from there. Padme was just around for the damage control. Anakin wanted to be a respected leader in the Jedi order and it consumed him. Him being a father wasn’t really important to him, Lucas showed this except you gotta be high to see its there.

    4. Star Wars- Looks dated if you watch the previous 3 before it. Characters haven’t fully gelled together and C3P0 wearing a cloth sweater in his midsection that is suppose to be wires made me realize how far we have came in special effects. The movie REALLY needs a proper 2015 CGI cleanup but not