Half in the Bag: Star Trek Beyond

July 28, 2016537 Comments

Mike and Jay see the new Star Trek film, Star Trek Beyond. Then Mike talks at Jay about all things Star Trek.


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • frankelee

    Blurst!

  • Svas Tara

    FIRST!
    :DDD

  • Turd

  • tOmy`

    :DDD

  • tOmy`

    You loved it? Well then, this is where the comment section pushes back!

    WEEEE CAAAAAAANT STAAAAAAND IIIIIIT

  • Draculasaurus

    Experience Bij!

  • Ren1

    Seeing this on Saturday. Gonna watch this anyway.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Spoilers ahead.

    This came so close to being a fucking good Trek movie, but they keep
    fucking it up. When a person talks about Star Trek, what do you think?
    You think NEEEEEEEEEEERD. So Hollywood being the fucking money whores
    they are decided that it needed broader appeal. Thing is, where do you
    take a science fiction ensemble? You could do drama, comedy, themes
    about philosophy and our place in the universe, like the critical and
    financial hits Interstellar, Martian and of course the original Trek
    films.

    Instead, you just go for action. Because action.

    See, Hollywood thinks that people will not sit still for 5 minutes of
    people just talking on the screen, that the audience will be bored. So
    they just throw so much SHIT on the screen. Why? The first 20 minutes of
    the movie, with Kirk discussing their mission, how the long time alone
    in space is getting to him, how he is wearied, that is good drama. It’s
    poignant to see the mighty captain having self doubt, and it’s instantly
    appealing.

    But in this movie it’s about ‘sploshins’ and ‘blams’
    and ‘kablamo’ with tens of thousands of needle like darts spearing into
    the Enterprise and tearing it apart.

    Action in Trek is at its
    finest when it compliments the action, when it’s Klingons, it’s an
    extension of their nature. When it’s the Borg, it’s a looming threat.
    When it’s some dude you’ve never met it’s kinda boring. The best
    episodes of Trek were the ones where it cock teased you, where Picard or
    Kirk walk the fine line between conflict and peace. In these movies,
    it’s just dull. It’s a shame to say this, because this director, Justin
    Lin, has actually done a better job than JJ, and I think Simon Pegg
    wrote the story, and it shows because it is almost turning JJ Trek into
    actual Trek. The cinema was half empty, which, y’know, is what you want
    from a big blockbuster, and I feel it’s because you’ve alienated the
    core audience of Trek fans with your pseudo Star Wars, and it’s still
    not Star Warsy enough to draw in the general public.

    If you want good Star Trek, go watch Star Trek II, IV, VI and VIII.

    Also, I fucking hate the ships.

  • Ultragonk

    This was worse than Ghostbusters you hacks!

  • Great. I guess this means re:View is already cancelled.

  • mister man

    I enjoyed the film. It had good action and some good bits. It did however crib plot points from every Trek series and even some of the films…too much to pass for simple homage and borders on lazy screenwriting.

  • Domo

    Awww. Jay Bauman called himself a normie.

    You’re can’t fool us Jay! No one makes a movie review show about Flyin’ Ryan, Troll 2, and The Black Ninja and can call himself a normie.

  • Star Trek 3 is the best Star Trek.

    Well, I certainly like it better than 4 anyway.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    3 isn’t a bad movie, but that whole even number thing really speaks to me up until Nemesis.

  • mister man

    Data killed the Green energy device, not the other way around.

  • tOmy`

    You know, this Star Trek thing sounds like a fun movie…

    … if you are a NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

  • tOmy`

    And who could forget his riveting vlog about Tay Sway!

  • HerrDrFunk

    As a matter of fact, Pegg is a huge Trekkie.

  • Just going to pretend jay is reading the comment I left about that company no longer building VCRs on the last video.

  • God, Nemesis. So many awful things with that movie and yet some parts I also love. Trek was definitely feeling its creative calcification at that point, though. I also like that Tom Hardy plays two villains with a nearly identical origin between Shinzon and Bane.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    I don’t know, Spock never really got emotional unless under the influence of something; like that time he was transported through the guardian of forever to a time when his race still hadn’t stifled emotions, or that time when everybody on the ship got super drunk on a virus that transferred through touch or whatever. Really, the only time I can recall emotion overpowering his logic in a normal situation is when he refuses to shoot Sybok. I haven’t seen this new one, and I don’t know if I will; they seem to be spelling it out in these new movies huh? Like in the wrath of Khan the getting old theme and the rejuvination the death and birth themes were introduced so artfully and subtly…sigh….

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Best thing in Nemesis is the E ramming the Scimitar.

  • mister man

    The first act feels like Trek cause that’s where Orci’s aborted idea used to be and had Pegg re-write. That’s why the villain has no depth. That’s why the ship they escape on has 100s and 100s of Enterprise crew members you don’t see after they beam them out of prison.

  • Ha! I was going to post that article about the last VCR company. Sad days. First ISIS now this.

  • why_wolf

    ha. you guys should make an hour long vid of you just sitting and drinking. Like that Fan show on Netflix.

  • Ren1

    A Beastie Boys song during an action sequence? I dunno….. That sounds pretty terrible.

  • Punanistorm

    Simon Pegg is gonna blush with pride when he watches this.

  • tOmy`

    Even Beastie Boys say they can’t stand it.

  • tOmy`

    Wait, what? ISIS are going out of the business as well?

    And I thought they were doing good…

  • Brian Levine

    *** Nerd Alert! ***
    So is Krall like Captain Garth, who wants revenge ‘cus there are no more wars or like Captain Tracy who just wants to live forever?

  • Robotpals

    Systems malfunction! Ha!

  • HerrDrFunk

    Here’s more Captain Garcy.

  • Robotpals

    Seriously, the revenge thing needs to stop. V’Ger didn’t want revenge (not even a villain). The Klingons in III didn’t want revenge. Neither the probe nor the whales in IV wanted revenge (no villains). Sybok didn’t want revenge (not a villain). Christopher Plummer didn’t want revenge. And Soren (Sauron?) didn’t want revenge. But after that, they all want revenge, and they all got their superweapons, and they all get punched by the captain.

  • Brian Levine

    I thought that the whole purpose of Beastie Boys songs was to make things blow up.

  • Brian Levine

    10, 11 and 12 all tried to tried to be TWOK, ‘cus Studio.

  • James

    —————————Spoilers below—————————-

    Here’s what I thought, and please correct me where I’m wrong. I felt the villain didn’t make much sense. So he was a MAKO, then found some longevity process to change his appearance? They mentioned he only had 3 crew left, so where did all of these other soldiers come from? Anyway, he’s motivated because he crash-landed 100 some years ago and nobody found him? Well he was in deep space and in that one nebula. But then he had some sort of surveillance and could have gotten out of his predicament when he set that equipment up. But then he mentions that humans need struggle in order to improve. I never knew struggle was taken out of the universe, I mean, if they take into account with Star Trek Enterprise (which they did with the NX starship), then the Klingons were always going to be a threat until during Kirk, and there is always Romulans. It didn’t really make much sense. Then he somehow found out about a doomsday device (which looked like it needed an enclosed room), but he had an entire swarm that easily took out the Enterprise, which is the flagship, without much struggle. Then even in the fight scene with Yorktown (a sad excuse for a starbase, more like a space colony), it looked like the swarm could have easily destroyed it. If his goal was to just destroy Yorktown, he really didn’t need that device, and then what was his endgame? They would have massed a fleet to destroy the swarm, and either Starfleet can’t destroy it or they can, and if they can, then well he’s dead, and if Starfleet gets destroyed, well then how is humanity supposed to improve through struggle?

    Secondary thoughts. How can a Constitution class separate the Saucer section? I thought that was started with Galaxy class.
    Spock seems to go between taking things literally and then understanding metaphors.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    The reason Star Trek works so well as a TV show is because you have time to develop characters in a TV show and give them arcs. Like Data’s for instance and his search for humanity. And that’s why TV is its own art form, imho! But this American horror story concept isn’t taking advantage of that. To me Star Trek is how these characters encounter and handle these strange phenomena, and that’s the most surface level. So yeah, no, I dunno.

  • Ren1

    Computer access.

  • Punanistorm

    Funny, when Mike talked about this Tuvix character I was thinking to myself that sounds a lot like the Jar Jar Binks of Star Trek.

    That was until he added that the character made for interesting ethical dilemmas whereas the only dilemma Jar Jar ever posed was in which way he should be killed.

  • Ren1

    They knew it was planned, and who planned it.

  • Sully

    My god, I had that JP book back in the 90s.

  • I wonder if any of the tapes they presented belonged to Percy Gryce. Oh, and Mike was in the zone for this one. It was definitely one of the more in-depth episodes we’ve had in a long time.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    People will call me a killjoy, but I’m actually ecstatic that this movie is a flop – $150+ million budget, RT says $52 million opening weekend, Wiki says $100 million. Hopefully this kills this stupid ‘reboot’.

    It’s just a dumb idea to make a movie where all the actors do impressions of other actors, only all ‘roided up and shaky-cam and with Beastie Boys music. It’s embarrassing, it’s like taking off all your clothes and pointing at your tiny dick.

  • Hey, I always do that and people love it. At least I think they do, judging by the laughs I get.

  • Adzl33t

    I thought it was just ok, though Idris Elba character’s motivations were confusing and shallow with his quasi revenge plot that doesn’t have a clear goal except blow stuff up, a dumbed version of the politics of Star Trek 6

    Please Laika’s Kubo, you can make cheap lazy George Takei gay jokes, just please review an animated movie

  • Simon Pegg interview on HitB confirmed.

  • Funny you should mention it because the ending of this episode brought flashbacks of that “avant-garde experiment”.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    … I can’t really say I ‘called’ this, just that I hoped it would happen after I saw the horrible first movie in this series. But I am going to go out on a limb and say the same thing will happen with the Star Wars reboot. That one might take a little longer because Lucas so thoroughly fucked up his chance at continuing the series, and thus basically made it easy for any semi-competent pop-fiction crap artist to do a ‘better’ job. But I really don’t see anyone continuing to fanboy that series like they did the originals. It just has no heart.

  • mister man

    So the script or at least story they went into pre-production with was by Robert Orci. It was some time travel convoluted plot that was going to feature William Shatner as Kirk (at least in a cameo). They had likely already cast actors, began working on prosthetics, and designing sets and computer models. So Pegg doing the rewrite had to build on elements that were already in place.

    I kind of wish they had simply left the Aliens as Aliens of the week who periodically take advantage of any Aliens unlucky enough to wander into their Nebula.

  • Rick Jaeger

    What? No, that’s his real name, see. Full name, Susan Normie. Now that he’s slipped up, he’ll have to go back into hiding in his bile-cave for another thirty years, but not before eating Mike’s liver.

  • Punanistorm

    Why are you so insistent on them reviewing kiddie stuff?

  • Rick Jaeger

    My guess is because he wants them to watch good movies for a change.

    Poor man doesn’t realize RLM exists because they’re all schlock masochists.

  • I thought it was gonna suck too, but it’s SO GREAT.

  • lloydbeatz

    first episode I just shut off. Beyond was the biggest pile of shit ever. I CANNOT believe you guys liked it. I don’t even know who to trust anymore. this is srssly the equivalent of tuning into RLM and seeing them praise a transformers movie. The world is fucked.

  • Punanistorm

    I was gonna take RLM’s side and question your credibility but then you went ahead and made such strong arguments for your case. Oh, wait..

  • No but you can trace the rise of ISIS to the decline in VCR sales. It’s science.

  • THEN WE WILL BE FRIENDS!

  • Adzl33t

    “Animation is not a genre”
    -Brad Bird

    Though they could review Sausage Party, I heard it’s about depressing existentialism with F bombs

  • This review was about 10 minutes too short.

  • Variant

    Idris Elba of the Office? Fuck that. More like Idris Elba of Luther – Destroyer of Doors.

  • Adzl33t

    I would like something to mix things up instead of more dull blockbuster schlock

  • Domo

    Mmm. Sexy X-files reference.

  • Inkall

    It seems that Jay’s vlog series has bled into this episode a little. Strange but not unpleasant.

  • Joe Syxpac

    One thing I’ve always wanted was 15 minutes of Mike and Jay doing nothing as a set up to a bad joke.

    It’s about damn time.

  • Punanistorm

    It’s called Space Cop.

  • Joe Syxpac

    No, that was 8 years of Mike and Jay doing nothing as a set up to a bad joke.

  • Adzl33t

    So Tuvix is a gem fusion like Garnet? Mike and Jay are too old to get that reference

  • Adzl33t

    The Beastie Boy part would be so cool as for Guardians of the Galaxy, but not Star Trek

    I think Star Trek work better episodic that would take time to examine a theme than as big event movies which waterdown discussions to just be explosions

  • Joe Syxpac

    Mike can’t watch kid’s stuff cuz he can’t keep himself from masturbating during the show.

  • Punanistorm

    I can’t even use it as a coaster cause it reminds me of just how shitty that movie is.

  • Punanistorm

    Most intense orgasm of my life was when Bambi’s mother got shot.

  • Imperial_orb

    No mention of the purple space bazooka? Okay, I see how it is…

  • Nick Poliskey

    I can’t believe I just wasted 11 work minutes on that….Yet I couldn’t stop giggling! Speciously when Mike kept eating the little TNG figures!

  • Nick Poliskey

    You just made me realize something? If Idris Alba was the captain of the Franklin, then how did he not know it was on the planet? What was the point of the hot scottys girlfriend character hiding it?

  • Punanistorm

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen a greater expressed contempt for one’s audience than those last 13 minutes of non-medy. Well played, pricks, well played.

  • Matthew Newton

    Star Trek: The Next Generation Interactive Boardgame

    I’ve seen it on the shelf many times. I own it. I had it when I was … 12, 13. It’s Gowron, but *Not Gowron*, as he Takes Over the Enterprisssseeeee. For abotu 40 minutes. you take some cards and eventually kill him.

    You have to fast forward and rewind bits to get to the right place. There’s a timer in the corner.

    It was awesome.

  • Amarzden

    That was a very long moment of silence for Leonard & Anton.

    Maybe tooo long.

  • Chuck Afterburner

    A bit related, a friend has forced me to start watching Babylon 5 and I have to say it is like Star Trek TNG if it weren’t written by simpering moralistic pansies. It never takes the feel good route and no one gets along in the future. Now the FX are fucking terrible, possibly the worst seen on TV, but the writing is far superior. It was apparently so good Star Trek completely ripped it off with Deep Space Nine.

  • Adzl33t

    Idris Elba was an old Japanese man who was on Conan the Barbarian and the Airbender series?

  • fred

    It’s good? But I’m supposed to hate this movie because the trailer sucks and I need to self-validate my supremely excellent taste in film.

  • ElectricPrism

    TNG Data would have set phaser to overload and booked it not blow himself up like a Rick Berman Deuce.

  • castlemonster

    Oh those funny funny murder jokes.

  • Norm Hull

    Probably the best one since Star Trek 6. First Contact is decent action schlock, but slightly more annoying in its logic than this one.

  • Norm Hull

    Robert O’Reilly was asking too much in royalties I guess

  • Punanistorm

    The OJ Simpson Workout or How to murder a White chick and kinda, sorta get away with it.

  • DynamixRo

    Can’t wait for the special extended edition of this episode.

  • castlemonster

    I just checked and William Shatner is definitely still alive. I fed him a pop-tart and locked him back up.

  • Norm Hull

    I love Kirk’s “development” in this one. He doesn’t need to be the caricature that the first two set him up to be. He’s clever, but to the point, and the clear leader and balance between Spock’s logic and Bones’ emotions. He doesn’t hook up with anyone or impulsively punch people in the face

  • Baelzar

    They liked this POS? Another villain with unexplainable advanced weaponry and a plan of revenge for the blah blah who gives a fuck.

    More magical mining equipment? I guess the Borg, Klingons and Romulans were aiming too high with all their science and computers…what they really needed was MINERS to destroy the Federation. “Oh no, the drones are too small and fast for our shields and guns and phasers and photon torpedoes!”

    They took the brewery engine room stupidity from the first reboot and applied it to everything now. This movie was stupid.

  • mister man

    Could be, but I’d wager with a device like that you’d want to make sure it gets blown up rather than have some Reman flip the overloading phaser into a garbage chute

  • kapsi

    SELLOUTS

  • Norm Hull

    There were some dumb moments, but the characters to me mostly felt like their old selves instead of the caricatures in the first two. We’ve had some dumb pop cultural moments in Trek before, like Data singing Blue Skies and most of the Whale movie.

  • endeyequote

    The end was one of the funniest things you have done. Good job.

  • Norm Hull

    But I also am glad the movie wasn’t a huge hit. I think it’ll make its money back, but Star Trek is better on lower budgets and TV- sized expectations.

  • netcrave

    I saw the movie yesterday and felt the same way. I’m glad you guys liked it too. Didn’t like the 2 previous movies much. I guess having Simon Pegg write the screenplay did make all the difference – I wouldn’t even have bothered going (after the first 2 films), if I hadn’t read about that.

  • Norm Hull

    Oh yeah, Janeway IS in prison! Plinkett called it!

  • fred

    For anyone who hasn’t been in retail (or any shit job yet) the ending pretty much sums it up.

  • Neblogai

    Last 10 minutes reminded me of watching and enjoying an 8 hour “A Lullaby to the Sorrowful Mystery” – this episode of hat in the bag has hints of arthouse.

  • fred

    That was some great asmr by Mike with that Star Trek board game.

  • UnhealthyNutter

    Deep Space 9 was none of those things that TNG was(Star Trek shouldnt be defined by that one series) buf as a result its much more interesting imo. The best Star Trek of them all. I would love to see a DS9 style Star Trek movie. Tbh though i didnt like Beyond, its just not Star Trek to me.

  • Evertale

    You guys may have just convinced me to go see a modern Star Trek film in theaters. Didn’t expect that. I’m not gonna eat my hat… but I didn’t expect that.

    PS: VCR will never die.

  • Punanistorm

    David Lynch and friends be like “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?”

  • odigity

    B5 is the best show of all time in the category of coherent, complex, and emotionally satisfying multi-season story arcs.

  • Brooke Tarvin

    The Yorktown reminded me of the Dyson’s Sphere from TNG’s “Relics.”

    But, after hating the last movies, I did like this one; more than I thought I would!

  • odigity

    I couldn’t believe they didn’t mention Stringer Bell.

  • Jonathan Frakes, please come back and save Star Trek.

  • Imperial_orb

    Mhmhmhmhm, don’t worry, “I” took the liberty to send them the BBC news article, and now, only a few seconds into the show, I can taste the luscious frutis of my labor (facial expression freezes in a short moment of ecstasy). Well, you have to excuse me now, I have to go…

  • Craig Rigby

    it was the furthest from jeans vision, and it wasnt afraid to show the flaws with it, like the hypocrisy regarding lack of currency, how savage we can be even when supposedly enightened, and that sometimes you have to be a dirty bastard to do the right thing.way better than voyager or enterprise…and i doubt discovery will be much better.

  • Craig Rigby

    sfdebris would be not be surprised to hear that lol

  • TheRedEpic

    Finally, a real Star Trek TOS story that carries the message of hope and exploration that Starfleet and the Federation stand for. Lots of techno babble, subtle and well handled social issues, humor, acceptable action, and character moments that are both insightful and rewarding. A focus on the trifecta made the movie fun and engaging, and hearkened back to ToS. Its not without its drawbacks (what movie isn’t), but completely puts to shame JJ Abrams dark and shitty movies. Thank you Simon Pegg, looking forward to Discovery now! The Federation lives!

  • disqus_yM0v65NGsr

    Jay calling himself a “Normie” is so wrong for so many, many reasons!

  • Charon

    Have some hair plugs and trombones ready, and he’ll be your man.

  • Charon

    Hey, if Star Trek: Beyond has a Tuvix reference, I’m all in.

  • Imperial_orb

    I like the feel good route to be honest… Oh yeah…

  • Robotpals

    Have you seen Simon Pegg’s at-rest face? He looks like an Imperial Ship Commander about to order orbital bombardment.

  • UnhealthyNutter

    You are correct there.

    And infact Gene hated Deep Space Nine, and tried his hardest to stop getting made. All i can say is thank god he failed. I think DS9 is the best trek primarily because it went againt Gene’s utopia vision(which got very sickly sweet at times. Too unbelievable, too haughty). The more realistic, darker, more character focused, more atmospheric world DS9 created was just so much more engrossing than TNG or any other Trek imo.

  • Craig Rigby

    heres hoping hes in episode 8

  • Imperial_orb

    *We see a short film of a Man who orders two Pizzas to his office. Something, something, something. Finally the pizza delivery guy comes into the office of our leading character with his order and looks around for his customer. After a certain time he simply yells out: “I Have Two Large Plains Here!” The fucking camera swiftly zoomes out of the building and it turns out the office is in in one of the freakin’ Twin Towers and it’s the eleventh September!!*
    -transition-
    So what really happend here?
    Is this cruel joke based on an actual event, or have we ignited an explosion of lies??

  • Variant

    If you like Idris Elba and Public Enemy, I’d highly recommend you watch the documentary “How Hip Hop Changed The World”, which he narrates. It’s actually really great. I can tell by the way he presented himself that he has an actual investment in the subject.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Not to mention Things, although it should never be mentioned. Crap, I just mentioned it.

  • Imperial_orb

    You should try Star Trek: First Contact. Captain Picard kills Borgs with a Tommy Gun in a wild frenzy. Just like in the Show.

  • Imperial_orb

    Killjoy.

  • Your acting like a real Imperial Or….DOH!

  • edwhitfield

    *We see a short film of a Man who orders Idris Elba and Public Enemy, Jonathan Frakes. Deep Space hypocrisy.

  • Trent

    How did old Spock have a photo of the old crew ?
    I doubt that Nero would have left him with anything when he marooned him on ice planet zero.
    On a similar note the box the Vulcans gave Spock identified Old Spock as Ambassador and 2nd mate on the Enterprise , he wasn’t in this universe.
    I thought Old Spock being from the future in another Universe was suppose to be kinda a secret.

  • metalraygear

    You guys really committed to that bit, and stuck the landing!

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    If there’s a Purgatory, I’m pretty sure the end of this episode captures to experience of being trapped there.

  • metalraygear

    I don’t think it was contempt.

  • marko112kg

    Star trek 6 is my favourite, probably.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    They should have brought back that fat 9/11 truther from the ‘Into Darkness’ video. We haven’t seen that guy in ages.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I was wondering why they would go with ‘Sabotage’ instead of ‘Intergalactic’ for their exciting fight scene, but then I remembered that that song had a reference to a “pinch on the neck from Mr. Spock,” so if they played that song, they probably would have destroyed the space-time continuum.

  • Mr.Fister

    It seems that you two got stuck so deep inside this movie’s ass (“where no man has gone before”) that I think I will give it a shot. But the trailer just screams: “Hey hey hey, look at me I am a big loud stupid movie” so I have no idea how it could be good. I guess I’ll trust you.

  • Leo_Silva.

    Never trust trailers. Don’t even bother to watch them

  • Percy Gryce

    I can’t even use it as a coaster because they never issued it in DVD.

  • Percy Gryce

    I already did that. I could prove it to you if I could post a hyperlink here.

  • Percy Gryce

    Hair plugs and trombones–that sounds like a kinky sex act.

  • Percy Gryce

    You’re back?!?!

  • Percy Gryce

    Actually, he read my comment about it.

  • Darn you and your “hyperlinks” Percy!

  • Dragon Sound

    I didn’t like it as much as Jay and Mike seemed to, but it is a million times better than the previous two.

    But Justin Lin was a terrible choice for director. I’ve never seen any of his other movies, but for a guy who is primarily known for directing some big dumb action movies he sure seems to suck at directing comprehensible action sequences. I’m not even a big detractor of modern “shaky-cam” style action movie making, and rarely have a problem following that kind of action, but with this movie I basically could not tell what the fuck was going on for probably 70% of the action sequences. I just had to wait for them to finish, see what the outcome was, and retroactively try to figure out what the fuck had just happened. So unfortunately while they vastly improved the writing this time around, it definitely took a big dive in the directing department. If this script had been directed by JJ Abrams I think the movie would have been much more enjoyable, yet even so it is still WAY better than the last two.

  • Dragon Sound

    Now that is what I call dedication to a bit.

  • Katie Kat

    As someone who has really enjoyed the Abram’s films (Great action movies, but not Star Trek ones) I also found Beyond to be a great movie, if the characters felt a bit tired at some points.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Not a single Star Track Beyond Thunderdome joke. I’m not sure how to feel just now.

  • Imperial_orb

    Why? Is he an open RLM fan?

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    Mike, you are kidding right? You should have swallowed the remaining Dan Akroyd Vodka and told the truth. This film managed to pull off the amazing feat of being worse than Insurrection. Lazy hack writing, fan service, another crap villain, The Beastie Boys montage, more meaningless CGI, Mary Sue II – The Flawless Heroine.

    Been getting pwesents? Strike him down Jay, bury him under the floorboards. Where’s Rich Evans to bury this film when you need him?

  • Imperial_orb

    Oh man, a new Star Trek TV Show, I have to say I am excited.
    I hope they bring Q back… He could… Oh I don’t know… Teach the crew a lesson.

  • Punanistorm

    FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

  • Punanistorm

    He’s tweeted about the Plinkett Review.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    John de Lancie, is that you?

  • sigaba

    Old Trekkie/er I am, I couldn’t get into it.

  • sigaba

    Glory to you, your residuals, and (bug eyes) your houssssse.

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    Amen, How can you criticise Insurrection and Nemesis? They are fundamentally Star Trek and this is an action movie (again) with crimes perpetrated by JJ and his G unit.

  • Norm Hull

    Can’t wait for him to review Beyond. I don’t think he ever did an into darkness one.

    Ditto for Linkara

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    Because Chiang and Not Scotty are hacks. What a final death knell this felt like to Old Trek. Fuck this movie.

  • Imperial_orb

    Does he have a dead career? I don’t know. I think he still get’s real stuff to do for money. Or does he hang out around cons like some of the others?

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    It was as embarrassing as this love in in unbalanced interview.

  • Imperial_orb

    I can show some dedication to your bits if you like.

  • Imperial_orb

    Yeah, and why have Tribbles human blood?

  • sigaba

    $59 million (the boxofficemojo number) is totally in the glidepath for a movie like this, these movies do pretty well internationally. It’s already at $120 mil worldwide.

  • sigaba

    Also is the girl supposed to be Kroll’s daughter or like some remnant of the Franklin’s crew? They cut away to her once or twice on some reaction to people talking about Kroll and she has this “I know something” look on her face.

    Also anyone get the “Franklin”/Scotty/Relics reference?

  • RLMkeepitup

    only mike could talk about star trek for 51 minutes, I’m guessing the movies worth seeing

  • sigaba

    I worked on Sausage Party. Best movie of the summer.

  • sigaba

    I assume Hot Scotty’s Girlfriend was Idris Elba’s daughter or something but they cut it out of the movie.

  • sigaba

    “How can a Constitution class separate the Saucer section?”

    Canonically, according to the manuals and mentioned on the show once sorta by-the-by, a Constitution class could separate the saucer from the engineering hull, but they could not be reattached in flight, the separation was permanent without an overhaul or something.

  • Adzl33t

    Were you an animator?

  • sigaba

    Sound guy

  • sigaba

    A cross of Kim and Neelix would be the Jar Jar Binks of Star Trek.

  • Adzl33t

    That’s a cool job

    Can’t wait

  • sigaba

    See, Hollywood thinks that people will not sit still for 5 minutes of people just talking on the screen, that the audience will be bored.

    Hollywood realizes that two-thirds of the people that are going to see the movie are going to be reading the talking on screen as subtitles.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I have not caught up with the man but a few years ago I recall seeing his name on a list of celebrities who, for a small fee ($50, $100), would call your designated number (or whoever you designated) and leave a message. I really only wish him and his career well, and I ain’t charging anything.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the talking doesn’t quite fill 51 minutes, ow my brain

  • sigaba

    I was watching old Emergency! episodes a few months ago and he actually shows up as a kinda skeevy ER doctor when Gage and DeSoto visit San Francisco in one of the TVMs they shot at the end of the series. He looks exactly the same.

    Also he’s great in a cameo in Terry Gilliam’s Fisher King.

  • alex doucet

    great review, bad bit

  • sigaba

    The name of the “Franklin” was also a sideways Relics reference.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    He embiggens whatever he touches.

  • The Sound of One Man Laughing

    OK, maybe if YOU TWO like it, I will like it.

  • Craig Rigby

    andromeda did swarm ships really well with the magog, they are a bunch
    of fucked up rape aliens that have ships that rape their way into yours.
    they also worship nothingness and want to murder rape everything alive to
    death…i think giger would have liked them.

  • Please make a new series where Mike describes Star Trek episodes to Jay.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I like the one where the holodeck breaks.

  • Greg

    whats up with the last 14 minutes?… WEIRD

  • mr_shadow

    Villain who wants to be friends with everyone = the Borg.

  • Percy Gryce

    Just watched Chaos on the Bridge on Netflix. I’m a little hesitant about behind-the-scenes, show-biz documentaries, but I have to say it was quite good. And Shatner, damn him, is good too.

  • Percy Gryce

    Uh, spoilers?

  • sigaba

    You’re right, I’ve made the necessary changes.

  • Percy Gryce

    Duuuuurrrrrassssss

  • RLMkeepitup

    you forgot the smug grin at the end

  • Percy Gryce

    But it’s good to show contempt for your audience, a wise man once said.

  • sigaba

    BTW if you’re on a Mac the way you read rot13’d text is to select the text, copy it, and then run this command in the terminal:

    > pbpaste | tr ‘[A-Za-z]’ ‘[N-ZA-Mn-za-m]’

  • Percy Gryce

    You’re talking about the finale of season one of Fringe, starring Leonard Nimoy, right?

  • sigaba

    Dr. Spirograph is that you?

  • Quotidian, Man

    Ewww

  • Quotidian, Man

    Sabotage has a strong rock sound to it which is always the safest bet.

  • Not as good as the one where Worf is beat up. Or the one where Troi is sexually violated.

  • There is no such person, but I get the Simpsons reference. Mike and Jay mention Oj Simpson! Coincidence?

  • Good point. If they just changed their greeting to , “Hey y’all! Cold beer and pancakes!”

  • I want to see how many Rikers Mike can put in his mouth.

  • Greg

    Jay hates ST

  • So glad I didn’t have to change my opinion… I loved it, too. Check my history if you don’t believe me. Go on. Suckers.

  • Now I wanna see it. Blast, I decided a week ago that I would not fall for it. I guess I should maybe go see it maybe. I hate this. Maybe Sabotage is a good song…….
    Oh… *whimper*

  • Mark Boris

    After watching The Force Awakens and now ST Beyond, I think Plinkett and the
    RedLetterMedia reviews, and other Youtube reviewers are actually having
    an effect on the quality of these movies. RLM is not just a bunch of
    hack frauds who can’t stop complaining. They’re actually doing some good
    in the world and bringing about real change. Makes me happy.

    “It’s working! It’s working!”

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    AT least First Contact is a good movie and very entertaining. It’s not true to the characters, but it can be sorta explained away. Plus the Sovereign Class Enterprise E is the last of the beautiful models. On its own it’s a good movie, it’s just soured slightly for the fans. If the film was a stand alone Trek movie, with a different cast, it would have still worked in all likelihood.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I watched The Captains on Netflix, entertaining for other reasons…. William Shatner is the scene stealer, not in the good way hahaha

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Or those awful Soong episodes.

  • SUPERMAD

    Lol. The “one” time she was violated. Didn’t Troi get raped like three dozen times?

  • The only voice Brent Spiner should ever speak in is Data’s. Not even his own (Unless he’s doing Puck on Gargoyles.)

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Can we all just agree that Hollywood is struggling to make good trailers? They seem to highlight the worst schlock in their films and condense it all into the trailer, leaving us going “ugh, really?”

    Look at;
    -Trek: Beastie Boys motorbike sequence
    -BvsS: Do you bleed?
    -G.busters: The slime got in everywhere
    -Terminator G: John Connor is a robot
    etc etc

    That’s half the fucking problem, the 90’s did trailers much better. Hell the guy who did the trailers for the Star Wars prequels made them look like Citizen Kane, get that guy back hollywood!

  • SUPERMAD

    Ok:

    How many of you were waiting for Mike to open the bottle of vodka?

  • sigaba

    Then do a series where Mike locks Jay up in the basement and describes Star Trek episodes to Jay.

  • When do we get a wheel of the worst for the Star Trek:TNG VCR Tape?

  • kupad

    Should I be embarrassed that I know that *IS NOT* Gowron on the cover of the Star Trek: The Next Generation Interactive VCR game? It’s the same actor playing a different Klingon character. I guess Mike hasn’t played the game yet!

  • kupad

    It’s a few years back, but I think the Star Trek: Into Darkness trailer was actually very good. Whoever edited that one put together a story much better than the actual movie.

  • That’s the joke.
    Worf also gets beat up a bunch of times.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    All Klingon’s look alike to Mike, even Wharf.

  • Malevolence

    Anything not Directed by JJ Abrams is a victory for cinema

  • Malevolence

    Near the end I thought I was watching “Incredible Instant Adoring Mike and Jay”…

  • Malevolence

    Near the end I thought I was watching “Incredible Instant Adoring Hack-Frauds”

  • bleurgh

    Who would have thought that hiring a script writer who actually likes and cares about the source material would wind up producing a half decent movie?

  • anamanaman

    Did mister plinkett have a fucking heart attack or something? FFS

  • Imperial_orb

    Wait a sec… I just have to look this u… HOLLY SHIT Hahaha!
    How tasteless of them!

  • Imperial_orb

    It is actually. It’s when you take a hair and you/someone insert it into your dick hole, until you feel a dragging pain.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I was surprised and disappointed that they still had some left.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Worf was the ship’s pussy. I think Troi kicked his ass twice. He also got his back broken by an empty water jug.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Ever since Don LaFontaine passed trailers have started to suck.

  • Imperial_orb

    Well, it’s pretty much what all movies are today.
    Dumb loud Action flicks that make no sense.

  • bleurgh

    Here is my four word review of the movie Jason Bourne.

    More like Jason Bore!

    Thanks for reading.

  • Kawaii as Fuck

    Hey! I had that “The Making of Jurassic Park” book as a kid!

  • Brian Levine

    Hidden compartment on the Red Matter ship. Those sneaky Vulcans…

  • Brian Levine

    You did see Thunderbirds, right? Ow! Ow! Ow!

  • Brian Levine

    The Dyson sphere would have been many, many times larger to capture a star inside, and would have taken all the matter from several solar systems to build, not to mention millions of years.

  • Kitten_Swarm

    The joke at the end was awesome. And looking forward to seeing the movie based off this review as an old school trek fan. Also wanna get my hands on that board game. And a Plinkett review of Force Awakens. Wow I want a lot of stuff…..

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Hahaha well there’s the occasional good one. Jurassic World almost made us think it wouldn’t be dumb schlock. But it was…

  • Trent

    Except that when he was saved he never got back to the ship

  • Imperial_orb

    Are we just repeating an urban myth that never really happened,
    or did we get the truth straight from the horse’s anus?
    *smug grin*

  • Imperial_orb

    What a Fraud. OH! Did you say Plinkett Review? I like those!

  • Imperial_orb

    And for Nazi Germany.

  • Imperial_orb

    Man, I really hope Mike does Vlogs for the new Star Trek TV Show, would you watch that? I would watch that!

  • Imperial_orb

    She’s a Betazoid it’s fine.

  • Brian Levine

    Okay, okay. He shoved the picture down his pants before Nimrod captured him. I was trying to him the embarrassment.

  • Imperial_orb

    A true Klingon only get’s beaten off, never beaten up.

  • Trent

    As I said at the start i’m pretty sure Nero would search him ,to make sure he had nothing on him.

  • Imperial_orb

    Why wasn’t Rich in the Review? Did he had something better to do?

  • Imperial_orb

    I think it’s stylistically designed to be that way.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Pickard: Come back with me. Kirk: I got shit to do.

  • TheJackFromTitanic

    Why was this cable system in place and why they were exercising during a town emergency?

  • bleurgh

    Saw this movie tonight based on this review. It’s definitely the best of the new Star Trek movies and the characters were actually three dimensional and true to the original series, whilst still respecting some of the terrible decisions they made in the first two films e.g. Kirks daddy issues, the rivalry between Kirk and Spock and the ridiculous and unnecessary relationship between Spock Uhurua, however I had some problems with it too.

    A few of the better parts:

    York Town is a brilliant concept and design even if it a combination of ideas from different science fiction movies

    Kirk is actually a heroic character for once. He may not know if he believes in the Federations Utopian ideals, but he takes his role as commander seriously. He is the last one to evacuate his ship and he refuses to leave anyone behind.

    Spock actually seems like a fucking Vulcan in this movie.

    The movie actually has a Star Trek seeming message about team-work and shit.

    Jaylah is a great original character.

    A few of the less good parts:

    The villain, although played by a decent actor, is based on a pretty dumb idea.

    Pegg gave himself too much screen-time. It isn’t Affleck level auto-fellatio, but a little less Scotty and a little more Bones would have made a more well-balanced broth.

    Not enough Sulu. There is never enough Sulu.

  • H Henderson

    ooooh Puj???

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Has to be shot POV, like the Plinkett skits.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Picard: “Help me punch Jack in the faaaccceee.”

    Rich Evans: *Grunts and furiously clicks left mouse button.

  • Rafael Fernandez

    Related to villains doing the opposite of revenge: In TMNT(2007) the “villain’s” scheme was revealed to be an attempt to repair a wrong he had committed in the past, when he was indeed a villain.

  • James

    She talked about her family being captives there, and that one general of Krall killed her dad. Is that some kind of metaphor? Probably not because the general guy talked about killing her dad as she was fighting him.

  • James

    Ah okay. My lack of TOS knowledge is showing. I know I’ll have to watch it all through again

  • ChrisV

    SPOILERS. SPOILERS IN THIS POST. SPOILERS.

    Cannot believe Mike liked this. I think he even said as much himself at some point.

    Absolutely no discussion here of how little sense the plot made. To wit:

    – The alien chick Jaylah has a cloaking system in place to hide the ship from… Kroll. Who was the captain of the ship and thus already knows precisely where it is.
    – Kroll’s motivation made no sense. I don’t understand why he was mad at the Federation or what he wanted other than to watch the world burn.
    – Can someone explain why Kroll took the name Kroll (rather than his Earth name) other than that the movie wanted to conceal its stupid twist?
    – Hey look in the corner of the spaceship. RANDOM MOTORBIKE! Jay called this out as lame, but made some excuse for it.
    – The whole “oh the Sabotage thing sounds lame on paper but wasn’t”. Just can’t fathom this. If I’d seen it on paper it would have been lame, it was incredibly lame on screen. It’s like “oh I thought my 7 year old kid’s recorder concert would be bad, but it turned out to be a great musical experience”. Hard to respond to that other than “lol no”.
    – Kirk has a phaser on the bad guy on a platform on the star base thing. FUCKING SHOOT HIM. This is way lamer than the standard villain talking instead of shooting trope because usually the guy executing the evil plan is the one with the gun. I was so baffled by that scene, I was looking around at other people in the cinema to see if they understood. I was like “is that bad guy supposed to have a dead man’s switch and I just haven’t understood that?”. But no, the plot is literally that Kirk could shoot a guy and thereby save an entire starbase, but doesn’t pull the trigger for literally no discernable reason.

    The last time the “dumb but it works” argument reared its head on RLM it was in the ID4 re:View where you were puzzled at people saying they enjoyed such a dumb movie. But you guys just endorsed a movie where the climactic battle scene is “hey the swarm might be susceptible to VERY HIGH FREQUENCY, omg VHF ISNT THAT RADIO? WE COULD PLAY MUSICS LOL I KNOW JUST THE SONG. And this is supposed to somehow be better, more acceptable, than Kirk simply playing the song on his car radio in the first one. What the fuck are you smoking?

    SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    I love Larry Picard!

  • James

    I felt the whole radio weakness thing didn’t really make sense. The swarm had pilots, right? Well if the ships coordinated through a collective communication which could only be done via computer, why did the swarm need pilots? Was the enemy connected through a collective consciousness, like the Borg?

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Might be the Jurassic World syndrome with Mike. The trailer lowers expectations to the point where the only response is” huh! I can’t believe I liked that! There’s hope after all!” And who am I to stifle hope?

  • ChrisV

    Yeah I haven’t really scratched the surface in my post. What the swarm was and how it worked made no sense, that it could be disrupted by a random VHF signal made absolutely no sense. There basically wasn’t any scifi in the whole thing, we had a life-force-draining device that worked by magic, and some magical gas that cohered into solid form for no reason.

  • ChrisV

    Jurassic World was also a shitty movie that Mike unaccountably liked. But this one is way more shocking to me, Jurassic World was a hokey movie, having a dinosaur called “Indomitus Rex” is stupid but at least the plot points made sense. In ST: Beyond the entire plot makes no sense whatsoever. It makes no sense that Kroll turned on the Federation just because he wasn’t able to talk to them. It makes no sense that Jaylah was able to conceal the ship from him. etc etc. The entire story top to bottom is horribly broken.

  • Rocketeer reboot confirmed.

  • kirkdickstrong

    How about, no villain? How about encountering something unknown, that actually has nothing to do with destroying earth or the UFP? Or how about an espionage mission against the Klingons or Romulans, and the moral conundrums that come along with it. Not every movie needs to end with the hacky “shoot the bad guy in the face” method of conflict resolution. Roddenberry was crazy, but at least he tried to make the writers break out of their rut of “murder solves everything”

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Knock down Final Frontier all you want, but I like Sybok way better as a villain. I actually like and sympathize with and understand him.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Yeah, when the Federation doesn’t respond, you don’t throw a tantrum! You make it work! using SCIENCE!

  • sigaba

    You mean he looks sorta turned on?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    wellll Into Darkness was utter shit in that aspect as well and after 45 minutes of trashing it Mike still ended up giving it a pass in the original HiTB episode for it. His standards just dropped dramatically after doing years of HiTB.

  • SamWongBal

    Yeah but let’s be real, every Trek movie has had a villain since ST4

  • kirkdickstrong

    But in ST4, the villain wasn’t evil, it was misunderstood, ST6 The villains weren’t hell bent on destroying and murdering everything and everyone, they were akin to isolationist terrorists, they wanted to maintain the integrity of their respective governments, and as Mike says the TNG movies aren’t good.

  • kirkdickstrong

    And 5 should never be mentioned in polite company.

  • Robotpals

    He’s perhaps an antagonist, but I wouldn’t call him a villain. Star Trek doesn’t really need villains, and I hope the next movie is creative enough to realize that.

  • Robotpals

    I like the one where they get off the ship. I think it was the only one.

  • Robotpals

    How will they explain his age and weight gain?

  • Robotpals

    Do they include Shatner correcting their pronunciation?

  • SamWongBal

    – – SPOILERY REPLY – –
    Frankly these are all minor nitpicks. The “Sabotage” scene works better than the song did in ST09 because they actually have a reason to be playing it. It’s an integral part of the scene, and the title fits their actions (sabotaging Krall’s fleet).
    Krall (you spelled his name wrong btw) I think could have been handled better, maybe if they had shown his transformation over time, across multiple log entries? I thought the life-draining tech was messing with his mind as well as his body, which was why he and his cronies couldn’t properly speak English. As for his backstory, ST: Enterprise showed us time and again there were plenty of humans who weren’t on board with this whole “being pals with aliens” thing. That and his disillusionment at being disenfranchised and put into a job he didn’t want, and then (or so he thought) abandoned made for a refreshing and compelling origin. I wish they had shown us more of it. Yeah, his genocidal ill-will toward the Federation doesn’t make 100% sense, but if you gathered a century’s worth of PTSD on a strange planet, constantly mutating your DNA, you wouldn’t exactly be “firing on all thrusters” (as McCoy might put it) either. Which may also be why he forgot about the Franklin, or maybe he just didn’t care? He thought it was broken beyond repair, and he and his crew evidently weren’t able to fix it. So why the hell would he go back to a broken ship? For all we know the holograms were to hide it from those other alien assholes Jaylah protected Scotty from. If anything you’re missing the bigger plot hole in Beyond, which is where did the other aliens who weren’t Krall & Friends come from? Was Krall capturing other passing ships besides the Enterprise? I feel like that wasn’t adequately explained.
    The motorbike thing, I’m not even gonna respond to, because who cares. Archer took his freaking dog into space, why not a motorcycle?
    I don’t remember the part you’re talking about when Kirk could have shot Krall but didn’t, and maybe it didn’t make sense. But also who cares? An entire movie isn’t ruined just because someone found a motorcycle and someone else failed to shoot a guy at a certain time.
    I really am sorry you didn’t like this movie, because we enjoyed it immensely.

  • SamWongBal

    No no, I meant ST4 didn’t HAVE a villain. But ever since TWOK, the powers that be decided every movie has to have a villain. So we’re kind of stuck with it.

  • Sully

    Not back. Just occasionally lurking. Now I’m headed back to the protest.

  • junkevil

    I actually watched the Wire and after seeing him as Stringer Bell I watched Luther. I never saw him on the Office though, but it sounds like he was only in one episode or something.

  • junkevil

    THE TALKY MEN DIDN’T HAVE THE SAME OPINION AS ME, NOW I’M GOING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT!

  • junkevil

    Actually, I think a Jeep Grand Cherokee may have killed the reboot. Also, from your comment I’m pretty sure you didn’t actually watch it.

  • junkevil

    Did they ever mention that in TOS? Because I have the technical Manual that explains this but I don’t recall them saying anything about it on the show.

  • junkevil

    Best thing in Nemesis are the ending credits.

  • sigaba

    It’s mentioned in the TOS episode where they go to the planet with Vaal and all the villager people. Vaal has rendered the Enterprise’s engines inert and it’s considered an option when the E’s orbit begins to decay.

  • junkevil

    Oh yeah, The Apple. I should rewatch some TOS.

  • sigaba

    I like the one where a character actor shows up, uses superpowers (or a magic transporter, one of those) to kidnap one of the crew and snarks a lot.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    It was good.

    There’s my hot take.

  • Alex Lee

    Immediately after he “recommended” it, he picked up a phone and said, “I’ll take that check now.”

  • Alex Lee

    Hmmm, this or Suicide Squad. It’s a tough call now.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I enjoyed it. Lots of action and just enough character things ..overall less suspense and wonder than I’d like but not shabby and worth a watch.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Nah studio execs don’t take chances, its hazardous to your profitz

  • RLMkeepitup

    they’re also not exactly as consistent in their critical thinking these days as you’ve pointed out before.. years of booze

  • ikdks

    You guys do a thing sometimes, its the worst thing you can do in a review, giving a thumbs down because they didn’t make the movie you wanted to see. Rather than judging the movie that they made, you compare it unfavorably to the thing you had in your imagination.

    to wit…

    You can’t accept what they’re doing with Kirk and Spock. I know you gave this a thumbs up. But I think you’ve missing a major reason why this series is so good (except for the second one). You’re looking right past it.

    The genius of their version of a reboot, which I think is conceptually better than Star Wars, is that by doing the temporal thingy they don’t have to live up to any of the expectations of the original series.

    So saying that there is a problem with Pine’s performance because “Kirk” was disciplined and spit and polish misses the point. Yeah, Shatner’s Kirk was. And it does bug me when people think he wasn’t because they’ve only seen the movies. Kirk dissed hippies on Eden for Christ sake.

    But this Kirk is different, more of a screw up because he grew up without a father. You may not like that interpretation of the Kirk character, but as they’ve built this universe, there isn’t anything wrong or illogical about it.

    The character is defined, he has a pretty complete backstory, and his actions are motivated by characteristics they introduced earlier in the movie. By any definition, he’s a good character. He’s relatable, engaging and well constructed in a film 101 way.

    Same goes for Spock. Nimoy’s Spock took after his father. He was ashamed of his human side. You see it peek through, but he was constantly trying to tamp it down. His journey, his character arc was to learn to make peace with his humanity. That’s why he’s so relatable, that’s everybody’s journey.

    But we’ve seen that. So this Spock takes after his mother. That’s why he flies into fits of rage. That’s why he has a girlfriend. He embraces his humanity because he loved his human mother.

    Its a different story, well motivated, well structured and well acted. It might not be the story you wanted to see, but that’s not an adequate reason to criticize

  • ikdks

    This villain had layers. He was like a screwed up vet. Not evil, just extremely disturbed.

  • psk

    I hated the first 2 movies with the new cast, and I cringed when I saw the trailer for this one. But I gotta admit that Mike and Jay’s reaction has given rise to curiosity for me now.

    Having said that, I’ve never understood why they don’t make a movie about flying around the sun, and traveling back through time to save Vulcan from utter destruction. This time travel method has already been established. Obviously you can’t expect to do this to erase all those ‘if I could turn back time’ moments in life, but to save billions of lives? It’s worth a discussion.

  • ikdks

    At least they didn’t Man of Steel the Christmas ornament.

    I am so sick of 9-11.

  • ikdks

    Because its a plot device to differentiate between the two casts.

  • Tommy Wiseau

    Oh hai mark and Jay. Many people think I look like a Star Trek alien.

  • That’s true, Tommy. You’re like a Vulcan in many respects – you can mimic emotional situations in your screenplays but you don’t understand what they mean.

  • Ogrot

    Doesn’t that make him more like pre emotional chip Data? Vulcan’s have feelings they just actively suppress them because they are extreme and volatile.

  • Don’t try to outsmart me and make me act like a Klingon, sir.

  • infernocanuck

    That “thing” you say they do. It’s called having an opinion. And they explain why they like something, or they don’t, in fact, in great detail. All they can give is their subjective opinions and thoughts. If you can’t handle that, this series isn’t for you.

    To Wit:

    They themselves say they just “talk” about movies. Not “review” movies. You’re the one calling them movie reviewers, not they.

  • infernocanuck

    Have a different opinion than LincolnHawksBaseballCap = You’re a sellout.

    Learn how to internet. Actually, no. Get off the internet, learn how to life.

  • Tommy Wiseau

    Jar Jar Abraham is too busy to make silly space movies like Stor Tark. He was hired by Disney to make a different space movie, Stair Whorfs. This is unfair. When will Tommy be able to make space movie?

  • psk

    No, that happened earlier when Kirks dad died.

  • RLMkeepitup

    tales from genesis space is ready for a reboot

  • ikdks

    I know what an opinion is. But this is a logical fallacy. The movie isn’t a failure because it didn’t predict what you wanted to see. That’s all Hollywood ever does anymore, cobble together a bunch of crap that they predict people want. And we get a bunch of dim witted pablum that panders to the lowest common denominator.

    An artist gets to make his art, then we judge it. We don’t get to tell them what they’re supposed to do.

  • ikdks

    Yeah, I guess that’s true.

  • LameSame

    One of Star Trek Beyond’s greatest assets is allowing the actors to have wrinkles in their faces. They feel a lot more real and DEFINITELY a lot closer to the original cast that way. I’m sick of talent getting a pat-down-plastering to the point of looking like some sort of doll. Kirk looks like Kirk in this one! He’s got rings under his eyes, lines around his mouth, etc. People look really unattractive and weird to me if they’re eerily wrinkle-free. What, are pedophiles a big market or something?

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Today kind of sucked.
    I went to the wake of someone I grew up with. He was twenty-two years old and he died of a heroin overdose.
    This wasn’t a person who was really in my life all that much in recent years, but I remember going to Kindergarten with him, I remember his mom driving us to soccer practice (“soccer” is what we Americans call your savage “football” sport, you foreign bastards) and seeing his mom grieving for the loss of her oldest son was really sad.
    I always knew that this guy sort of lived the “rock star” lifestyle, with all of the dangerous activities that that entails, so the fact that he OD’d didn’t really SURPRISE me, necessarily, but hearing news of his death was a total fucking gut punch and seeing his body today, with the spirit that made him… HIM now lost to the ether, it made his death all the more real to me.
    I didn’t know him as well as I would have liked but, like, five years ago on Facebook, we were having a conversation about how depressed he was feeling. He was having nihilistic thoughts about how life is meaningless and pointless and how, due to the eventualities of our deaths, living is sort of pointless.
    When I’m at my most depressed and my worldview is at its most bleak, I almost sort of agree with this, but now that I’ve seen his dead body and I’ve thought about all the decades he’ll never get to live, a part of me just intuitively knows, despite any “evidence” to the contrary, that life is worth living.
    So, yeah, to Leonard Nimoy, Anton Yelchin and, now, to Jon…
    *Raises glass.*
    To absent friends.

  • Ogrot

    Kerplah!

  • RLMkeepitup

    damn way too young to go, i heard even good friends can’t talk folks out of the habit, def sad but don’t let it get ya too down bud

  • IamSithAzagoth

    they are saving it for the 5th movie

  • bleurgh

    He was absorbing aliens which made him more alien. When he got to York Town he started absorbing lots of humans and started looking more human again.

  • HeftyJo

    Sorry for your loss.

    To absent friends. *cheers*

  • Imaf

    I have to admit–the last ten minutes was the best that this show has ever been. (Less is more.)

  • Imaf

    If you haven’t seen it, see Star Wreck: Into the Pirkenning. You won’t be sorry. Or maybe you will. Hey Mike and Jay–do a review of STAR WRECK.

  • HeftyJo

    Yeah, I was thinking I’d wait till it hit Blueray but after watching this I’m actually inclined to go and hit up the matinee tomorrow to check it out.

  • HeftyJo

    Your second paragraph kinda answers your own question as to why many people criticize these “Star Trek” movies, so. ‘Reboot’ is becoming a crutch for Hollywood that is a afraid to stray too far from established past success. But it sounds like Simon Peg understand that we want the familiar, but yearn for the new, without it just going completely over the top. I mean we all have a favorite food, but feel like it’s something different when it’s got a different sauce or on a bed of rice instead of pasta from one day to the next. A movie or a TV show that trots out the familiar tropes can feel ‘fresh’ when it approaches the subject matter with an appreciable slant that introduces a nice bit of zest.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The Neil Young song “Tonights the Night” comes to mind for some reason. I’m sorry.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    Of course I didn’t watch it. The entire concept is stupid. I also don’t need to contract AIDS to know it’s horrible.

  • Lembach

    Jebuz Christ! About had a heart attack when they started talking again. I was stalking feral ghouls in FO4 and had forgotten my 2nd monitor was even playing this.

  • Robotpals

    Go back in time to the 60s and collect Shatner. Then bring him forward and make more movies with him.

  • Robotpals

    Star Trek 5 really didn’t have a villain. Sybok was an antagonist and a dreamer, but he never did anything evil. I wouldn’t call the standard Star Trek “ball of energy claiming to be a god” a villain either.

  • Robotpals

    If there must needs be a villain in the next Star Trek, then hire William Shatner. Emperor Tiberius invades from the Mirror Universe!

  • bleurgh

    I’ve had an unusually large number of friends succumb to substance abuse, only two have died that I know about, but at least a half dozen or so have just lost their fucking minds and become completely different people. Psychedelics are more destructive in my observation than opiates as they slowly erode your grip on reality and leave you with life long incurable psychosis and depressive illnesses that make it incredibly difficult for anybody to be around you. These conditions never go away and go through peaks and troughs of severity, but even at their least severe you are still a shadow of the person you used to be before the first psychotic break. It’s a kind of living death that the sufferer is aware of as it’s happening.

    This happened to my best friend since primary school and I eventually had to just cut ties with him, he had stopped smoking weed and dropping acid, but switched to alcohol which triggered a psychotic episode when he started getting drunk all the time after a girl rejected him, after which he attacked his mother, got kicked out of home and became homeless. I tried to communicate to him that he obviously had a drinking problem several times before this, but he never took me seriously. It’s true what they say about addicts refusing to change until they choose to change. I still get text messages from him all the time asking me to go out to some bar somewhere even though I quit drinking two and a half years ago. I just ignore them. These people are going nowhere and will drag you down into oblivion with them. I know this sounds like a pretty cynical attitude to have, but it’s the truth. Addicts need to feel like they have bottomed out before they become desperate enough to try to change. It’s sad that some people die before they get there.

    Sorry for the bummer serious post.

  • Michael Collins

    I’ve got this kind of movie fatigue, just can’t be arsed to get excited for this shit any more..
    Sad that that happens, but there it is.

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    No it is my opinion and I have a life thank you very much. Why not debate my points instead off throwing that lazy accusation (look that word up) and I wish you peace and love X

  • Imperial_orb

    Dude it’s StarTrek. They will come up with some crazy reason. Something original you know, maybe he got kicked out of the Q Continuum or something.

  • Robotpals

    Too many tachyons on his breakfast flakes?

  • Imperial_orb

    Oh dear… what did you do after he told you all that stuff in your last conversation on facebook?

  • Imperial_orb

    Ok it’s decided. Next time we’ll do a Crystalline Entity?

  • ChrisV

    A movie isn’t ruined by a random plot hole but in this instance it has to do with character motivation. We’re not talking about some technicality that only a nerd would notice here. If Kirk has a bad guy who is trying to blow up a starbase in his sights and doesn’t shoot him, I want to know why Kirk is doing that. It’s insane to me that you didn’t even notice the scene. I feel like people’s ratings of this movie are going to nosedive like crazy upon repeated viewings.

    The “reason” to be playing Sabotage is that the scriptwriter wanted to have a scene where it was playing over stuff exploding. That’s it. All the other crap is just awkwardly shoehorning it into the movie. How people are OK with this “OH TEH SWARM IS VULNERABLE TO VHF” utter nonsense baffles me. The hint that it has been shoehorned into the movie is that you could excise all the scenes that deal with it and come up with some other magical method of defeating the swarm and the rest of the movie would be completely unaffected. It’s not interwoven with the plot at all, it’s just excuse making.

  • Imperial_orb

    Never Forget.

  • Imperial_orb

    Picard: *comes into the room unexpected

    Rich Evans: *furiously masturbating

  • Rosemary

    Happy “Tar Dreck: Behave” was the movie I left the house for this summer!

  • Rosemary

    The trailer for Suicide Squad before this flick made me think I’m gonna venture outside my house twice this summer. Go fo’ both or broke, whichever comes first.

  • ikdks

    I kinda went this process years ago with Batman. Because there are several different interpretations of Batman, not just movie vs tv vs comic book, but in the comic books themselves.

    And you really limit yourself when you say, I am only going to allow myself to like this version of Batman. Because Adam West was awesome. And if Adam West is legit, then anything can be legit.

    So if someone wants to make the Riddler look like Marilyn Manson or make Penguin fight like Yoda, fine, I’m not going to say they can’t just because its a dumb idea.

    And if they can pull it off, hurray! That’s why art is cool.

  • jhonny_appleseed

    Also, don’t worry about it. They’ll hire a 6-year old to do an impression of Anton Yelchin doing an impression of Walter Koenig, make him trans and a father/mother, and “Star Trek 4: The Wrath of Wrathness: It’s a SABOTAGE!” will proceed swimmingly.

  • tim

    Vote up if U SEEN IT ALL!

  • ikdks

    Yeah, but you can forget about exploiting it for a Hollywood movie.

    The worst was 10.5. If you liked 9-11, you’ll love 10.5!

  • fred

    Looks like I’ll be catching Star Trek Beyond on DVD. Also, Stranger Things is pretty great and more than an 80s nostalgia trip.

  • ikdks

    Was the slip stream thing a direct reference to Merriweather showing Trip the gravity trick in the first Enterprise?
    How about the score? Every time the Enterprise appears firing full phasers or emerging out of a cloud and they drop into that base line, I get childhood Star Trek flashbacks. I would argue it’s second only to the original theme and that’s only because it has bongos in it (the show was produced by Desilu).
    One of the only things I like in the 2nd movie was the Section 31 reference. That’s a ds9 thing, obviously the didn’t know about it in 69. So the fact that Kirk is dealing with it brings the whole thing full circle in a nice way.
    They did that in this movie with enterprise. They mention the Xindie and the Maco, both Enterprise concepts. And I always found the idea of the Maco to be a little un-star trek, so the idea that a Maco is the bad guy works really well for me .

  • Imperial_orb

    There You Go.

  • fred

    On one side I think people do need to be aware of the cosmic reality of our tiny fleeting lives. The entire history of humanity is microscopic thread in a 13.5 billion year old universe. It doesn’t matter — so don’t worry about your big bank account and be more considerate of others.

    I wanna stick around just to see what happens…

  • tOmy`

    About to start watching it.

  • Variant

    Stranger Things is fantastic. Definitive 80s throwback.

  • fred

    I think it sometimes unnecessarily uses 80s tropes (douchebag boyfriend, dumb deputies etc.) just to seem like an 80s moopie — but the good stuff works. The rising tension and drama makes each episode better.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    great point. He’s like the antithesis to Kirk in that movie.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “They say the heart of Star Trek is still beating!”

    – Huey Lewis

  • ikdks

    Jason born in the 70’s.

  • ikdks

    Ok but every Suicide Squad trailer has been awesome. The movie is going to have a hard time living up.

  • ikdks

    I don’t think they get it. I think they still think of themselves as a bunch of guys watching movies together.

    How many youtubers cried themselves to sleep after Jay satired the smash cut editing in that GB trailer clip.

  • kirkdickstrong

    Don’t forget the 80’s trope of murderous bullies

  • A villain who just wants to be friends… Wasn’t that Star Trek IV? When the villain was just in the neighborhood and stopped by to say hi to his whalefriends?

  • OMNI

    You look like Warren Beaty with long hair!

  • Joe Syxpac

    Star Trek V was kinda like that too.

    BTW, am I the only one in the world that liked that movie?

  • Variant

    I can agree with that, it is a bit unapologetically faithful to certain aspects of the formula, even when they don’t provide much benefit to the story. However – I don’t want to spoil anything if you haven’t watched it all already, but the douchebag boyfriend actually ends up being a useful character later on.

  • Variant

    I was actually just thinking about this as I am currently rewatching Next Gen… there weren’t enough times where Worf actually fought people. Most of his fighting took place in the holodeck. In Plinkett’s Nemesis review he mentioned how Picard should have sent Worf over to the ship instead of Riker to fight the monster alien. Whenever he mentions that I get a picture in my head that is just awesome. That actually would’ve been a great ending to that movie or a great plot for an episode. “That ship is full of monsters and we’ve got no weapons to speak of. Worf – we’ve only got enough energy to transport you over – kill every fucking thing you see”. Worf was a great character and he really deserved an episode more centered around his honorable devotion to combat. But yeah most of his combat moments during the show was “Worf attacks thing, gets knocked over and incapacitated.” He deserved better than that. If Worf could watch Next Gen he would be very embarrassed by his lack of warriorness.

  • Variant

    I like the one where Riker steps over a chair to sit in it.

  • infernocanuck

    So.. I don’t think you know what an opinion is. Because you’re very clearly confusing them giving an opinion with them telling the directors, screenwriters, etc “What they are supposed to do”.

  • infernocanuck

    Hey man, you’re the ones accusing Mike from getting presents from studios and giving good reviews. I mean, that’s a textbook definition of a “lazy accusation”. So much so that I think you need to learn that word, instead of me.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’m the other person who liked Star Trek V. I liked its sentimentality, characters inner dilemmas, and spunk. I doubt JJ could or would start and end a movie with “Row, row, row your boat” and have it be more effective than punching, even if it’s “God” you’re fusticatin’ with.

  • ikdks

    If you said Citizen Kane sucks because it’s not very funny, yeah that’s an opinion, but its a stupid opinion. You’re saying Orson Wells shouldn’t have made a drama, he should have made a comedy. He should have made a different movie, not because what he made was bad, but because you wanted to see something else.

    You could say that, but its retarded.

  • ikdks

    The Motion Picture, too. V-ger was just a lost kid looking for his daddy.

  • ikdks

    Ah, you could do it with modern trash bags!

  • tOmy`

    Idris Elba who was in The Office? Was that the only show we should mention we speaking about him?

    For shame, gentlemen, it’s Baltimore, the gods will not save you.

  • fred

    I just started listening to Terrence Mckenna.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    You can google his appearances on Art Bell’s Coast to Coast AM or find them on the internet archive. Good stuff. His brother was on Midnight in the Desert w/ Art last year as well.

  • netcrave

    Yeah, you are right. He was also on “The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency”. 🙂

  • netcrave

    No you are not, that movie was awesome. 😀 Maybe not the execution, but the content and that’s what always drew me to Star Trek anyway.

  • tOmy`

    I just saw the first episode and have to say:

    Out of all the things I thought I am gonna say about this show, “charming” as sure as sh*t wasn’t one of them. Surprisingly enough, I found myself grinning / smiling the whole 50 minute runtime. In a very good way.

    I’ll make sure to hit you up when I finish it (or make some more progress).

  • Ogrot

    I agree 100% with Mike on this review. This is the first Star Trek movie we’ve had in a long time. And even with the referential humor it had a degree of subtlety that ensured that only losers like Mike, Rich, and myself would even realize their was a wink wink nudge nudge joke in there. My favorite being Kirk’s throw away line from the beginning where he gets beamed up after being manhandled by a swarm of alien pug chihuahua crossbreeds. He looks down to his shredded shirt and remarks disappointingly that he had torn his shirt again. A beautiful nod to a genuine trope in the original series that Kirk’s tendency to get in fist fights often ended with his shirt being torn or straight up removed by the end of it. Roddenberry would have you believe that it was a cheap way to show battle damage and wear without having to spend and budget on makeup, but I think it’s because he just loved that Juicy Shatmeat.

    But jokes for only a handful of theatregoers aside, this was in all respects thematically a Star Trek story. Aside from the ethics quandaries that TNG and later editions would explore, Star Trek at its heart was also about honest, intelligent, cooperation conquering any challenge. It was an optimistic view of the future where mankind coexisted in a multi-ethnic harmony that celebrated both individuality and community and wanted to spread that virtue into the Universe through the Federation. And with that in its DNA, Star Trek always worked hard to debut the power of collaboration, compassion, and logic to overcome any obstacle. And this movie captured that with aplomb. Rather than becoming action schlock where Mr. Spock punches someone on top of some red flying tank while calling his enemy a motherfucker. We have a group of smart and talented people, outnumbered, outgunned, with their backs to the wall having to outwit their opponent and rely on their expertise to even the odds. Which is very much Star Trek. We have a movie with mannered pacing that focuses on subtleties between the character dynamics rather than hypercharged melodrama, which again is very Star Trek. This script is so tight that even the opening which seems like its just some throwaway goofiness before the real adventure begins, actually foreshadows the threat Kirk will face. He’s swarmed by a bunch of chihuahua aliens that are too numerous and too small for him to fend off on his own and had to be rely on the expertise of his crew around him to get out safely. They swarm him just like the swarm the Enterprise will fall victim too when he instinctively tries to just challenge it with brute force alone. And of course both conflicts have to do with the ancient weapon Macguffin.

  • Mizener

    this is borderline experimental

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Well, it’s definitely mental

  • Variant

    My reaction was just like Luther’s when he found out his wife was cheating on him. “No. No. NO! NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!”

  • bleurgh

    Luther > The Wire.

    Then again almost anything > The Wire.

  • LameSame

    Are you the same dude who said this about Jack’s “Hey Hey Hee hee(The Pee Pee Song)” video (God bless the idiot) three weeks ago? Or are average RLM fans so absolutely bankrupt of original thought that they just resort to quoting whatever the fuck they can from the videos they watch? Is this clever to you? On behalf of intelligent humans everywhere: FUCK YOU!!! Love, me

  • Joe Syxpac

    I enjoy the character moments in that movie and it’s the most intimate we ever get with Kirk, Bones, and Spock. It starts off casual and quaint. The threat is mostly inner demons (at least until the alien god shows up). Plus nothing is coming to destroy the Earth.

  • LameSame

    Hear Hear! Yea!

  • tOmy`

    Woah woah woah woah woah!

    Let’s not try to get carried away here, no need to get capped in the morning.

  • Earth

    F*cking Americans can’t even pronounce “Idris” right.

  • Earth

    80s in what way?

    I swear everything is “referencing” 80s now.

  • tOmy`

    I only saw the first episode, but apart from being set in 80s, it features some of the classic 80s tropes, 80s synth music, 80s font (including credits) and generally gives off a vibe of 80s horror flick.

  • Earth

    Okay, 80s horror vibe intrigues me…

  • bleurgh

    Never saw what the fuss was about.

  • Pope of Chili Town

    Hell I’d settle for a villain if they weren’t seeking goddamn revenge. I know its the utopian future but doesn’t anyone have a bloody day job?

  • Farfolomew

    I hate the blanket “TNG movies weren’t good” statement. Generations was a great movie, despite Mike’s opinion of it stating otherwise. Soren was one of the best villains in all of Star Trek. He was threatening to kill an entire planet, but not directly, because his reasons for doing so had nothing to do with them. He was so intent, at all costs, to get back to the Nexus, a terribly potent drug, that he was blind to everything and everyone including what was in his own reality. He had motiviation because of what the Borg did. His justification for his actions was “my world will be happy and peaceful if I can only get to the Nexus.” A villain with dreams of hope is surely a great villain.

  • Farfolomew

    I think there’s also a large element of movie fatigue and modern cinema pessismism. He wants so badly to like a new film, so in his mind he makes up reasons as to why this was a good one. And you know what? Truthfully, and honestly, good for him. Rich got to that point with Mad Max Fury Road. As for me, I guess I keep yearning and waiting.

  • Farfolomew

    I mention it above, but there’s only so much hatred and antagonism one can dish out before somehow, some way, bringing yourself back from the brink and finding a way to love something again.

  • Farfolomew

    I really liked the warp bubble effect, and the shot of being in warp from within Kirk’s quarters. I don’t know if that was a newly seen effect, but I thought it was kinda cool sciency-wise. I can’t recall any other Trek that depicted the warp bubble, and flying at warp speed, visually like that. But the other stuff you mentioned, the “magic” bits you nailed spot on. The only thing I could think of during that motorcyle scene and the solid gas was that I was watching a Guardians of the Galaxy movie.

  • Farfolomew

    Soran from Generations motivations were to get back to the Nexus, at all costs. No revenge at all, yet he still massively endangered millions of lives in the process. A nice “side effect” for a villian, no doubt 😀

  • Farfolomew

    I find it amusing in today’s cinema, that when anyone nowadays advises not to see a movie based on it being “boring” I flag that movie as one I should consider watching. A nice opposite effect. So thanks, I guess

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    So much rage in you, sounds like someone needs a hug.
    I wish you more peace and love.

    Excuse me, I’m watching Jaws The Revenge.

  • Farfolomew

    I’ve been riding dual-sport motorbikes on and off for 16 years now. I crashed my bike a couple years ago riding too fast on a gravel road at a rather pedestrian 20mph speed. I banged myself up pretty good, and that’s when I told myself “boy am I not that great of a rider.” When Kirk did his whole motorcyle thing, all I could think of was how silly that whole scene was and how out of place it felt in a universe that is, for all intents and purposes, supposed to be the same as the one we live in, but a few hundred years in the future.

  • Farfolomew

    I just watched all six, and while yes it’s a good movie, it’s quite a bit late-80s/early 90s dated with all the cold war Soviet analogies and the ham-fisted Shakespeare dialogue. “To quote a Vulcan saying, ‘Only Nixon could go to China.'” Ugh, that has almost zero context to today’s moviegoers.

  • Farfolomew

    I love Mike’s mumblings of the Trek game “I’m going to fold you” he says to the tricorder. haha

  • marko112kg

    I hear you, but the rest of the film, the story, cinematography, acting really work for me.

  • Farfolomew

    Generations, give it another shot and try not to let other reviewers jade your opinion of it.

  • netcrave

    So the thing with the dog in the beginning isn’t a reference to the other movie with Simon Pegg “Absolutely Anything” where his best friend is a talking dog? 🙁

  • Farfolomew

    The first 3 seasons of Babylon 5 are great SciFi. Seasons 4 and 5 seemed like afterthoughts and a way to ride the success of the first 3 seasons, as the story was already wrapped up by then. Altho, I liked the Sheridan interogation when he was on Mars. I dunno if that was post-season 3 or not.

  • Farfolomew

    Oddly, as a kid I didn’t like DS9 when it first came out. It didn’t follow the episodic “story-of-the-week” format that TOS and TNG used, so I wasn’t sure how to take it. I think that’s a reason why I embraced Voyager so much as it was a return (sort of) to that format. In the end though, I learned to love DS9 as much as the other series, and especially moreso now considering what I have to endure with this new trek.

  • ikdks

    I thought it was a reference to when NeoScotty vaporized Archer’s dog.

    They did a lot of Enterprise call backs in this one.

  • Farfolomew

    Star Wars has all the hints its going down the same path. People “liked” Force Awakens only because the prequels were terrible. However, it had no substance, it really felt like an empty shell of a movie. Say what you will about the prequels, but at least they had originality, introduced new characters, several new worlds, memorable music, and attempted to weave a decent character arc amongst the garbage dialogue. I have no desire to watch TFA again, 7 months after its release. I’ll gladly revisit The Phantom Menance once every few years for some of its cool scenes and characters.

  • netcrave

    Uh, good call, didn’t even remember this on my own. I didn’t like the first 2 Star Trek movies much, which is why they are a blur. But he did say he beamed Archer’s dog and he hasn’t materialized yet in Star Trek 2009.

  • ikdks

    I thought it showed restraint that they didn’t go full disaster porn at the end. It would have been really tempting to smash that Mobius city to bits, Michael Bay style.

    And the majority of the references were Enterprise references, maybe the most underrated Trek show. So they were building up a weaker property, rather than trying to artificially inflate the movie by piggybacking off a more popular one.

    And the little monkey lions were right all along. They couldn’t trust the people that gave them the mugiffin. They did steal it. It’s kind of a Yoda thing. Don’t ignore people just because they’re ridiculous. Very Roddenberryesqu message.

  • Farfolomew

    I was never a huge First Contact fan, as I didn’t much care for all the action. I felt Generations was the last good Trek film. However, as a modern day Trek movie, I think you’re right in that it would be really good with a different cast. It had a pretty original story with cool bad guys and great “guest star” characters.

  • Ogrot

    So this was a great Two-fer episode. We got a review followed by a whole season of Jay’s new vlog.

  • Farfolomew

    Ah, the Homeworld PC game series had a premise just like this, and without spoiling anything about its Nebula aliens, I’ll just say did a great job in creating a cool enemy. I would love to see that concept in a Trek movie like you described above!

  • Farfolomew

    hehe “or the whales.” I also like how you randomly throw in “Christopher Plummer” rather than his character’s name General Chang. Nice subtleties 😀

  • ikdks

    If you can ignore the clunky convenient plot, the first one was pretty awesome.

    The casting, the performances, the set, the cinematography, the music, the effects, the props and the overall interpretation are all pretty excellent. What’s great, and I say great, far outweighs the obvious hacky Hollywood crap.

    They also manage to create the sense that it is dangerous simply to live in space, which is a concept that I think got lost in the TNG and beyond.

  • Farfolomew

    And this is the crux of the matter. Produced by Alibaba pictures and Huawoa (sp?) is never a good sign…It’s not that Chinese are in anyway stupid and dumbed down, it’s that both countries think the audiences are too stupid to absorb a non-action movie, even if they do have to read dialogue rather than listen to it. There’s a reason Hollywood got to where they are worldwide, and it’s not from pandering to non-English speakers.

  • Farfolomew

    Hollywood and American cinema has a serious problem: globalization. This was the first big movie I’ve seen where the intro credits so blatantly mention being produced by Chinese companies (Alibaba, Huawao). That in itself isn’t the problem; I’m not trying to come across being racist here. The problem is trying to accomodate two different groups separated enitirely by a language barrier that prohibits any sort of meaningful mental dialogue between characters of these movies. Without that, we’re left with short one-liners, nods to references, and a ton of CGI action. Overall, it’s so incredibly mind-numbing.

    Hollywood: you made it to the top and into Chinese theaters because of your original ideas, art, and love of filmmaking. Can’t you see how you’re pissing it all away trying to go for that low-hanging fruit?!

  • fred

    “Honey we have to trust them. This is our government, they’re on our side.”

  • fred

    Ya hit me up man hit me up.

  • Variant

    I don’t agree, in TNG they run into all sorts of problems. The thing was they had to be CREATIVE about he problems they ran into, because in the future they were portraying not only does humanity work well together but they have replicators and holodecks that create things out of pure energy. But that’s when they start running into space gods and empires with superior firepower and strategic intellect.. and there’s a lot of episodes with them dealing with losing certain systems in the ship a la “space is dangerous”. I think they covered a wide variety of threats and problems that were suitable to the setting. I don’t remember there being anything NASA-like in terms of space danger in the Star Trek reboot if that’s what you mean. I remember… Kirk’s hands get fat. Andd… someone fires a space laser. And everyone flies around the ship. Refresh my memory, but what happened that depicted space as a “dangerous place”? I thought space was depicted rather cartoonish and all the threats were just written in to have “a scene”. Nothing that made me feel like space was this harsh, dangerous environment. I also never got that feeling from the original series as they are constantly just beaming down to alien planets all the time with little to no regard for their safety. I’m sure someone says “there’s air down there”. But what about disease? That’s something that was actually dealt with on multiple occasions in TNG.

  • netcrave

    “The casting, the performances, the set, the cinematography, the music, the effects, the props ”

    Especially all those things are much better in Beyond.

  • fred

    Well it’s always been about money…just do things with people you like, not a company that thinks nothing of you.

  • fred

    it’ss uuuh….misster Spock…-munch munch-

  • fred

    awww shit it’s time for the Stranger Things season finale muthafuckaaaaaaaaa

  • bleurgh

    Enjoy the endless shakey camera that destroys all the action, the predictable and paper thin plot and the total lack of compelling characters.

  • Earth

    Watched the trailer. Yeah I get what you mean. I swear everyone’s idea of the ’80s is basically E.T.

  • Herbert West

    Watching Mike eat tiny Star Trek people has to be someone’s fetish.

  • ikdks

    But that was all established in the first one. They’re using the same sets, props, costuming, music and cast from 2009.

  • Spoiled Ants

    I was really bored by it :/ I’m just not into this remix thing, I suppose.

  • tOmy`

    I just finished second episode and I do kinda love it. It’s clichés and tropes done right, in a very self-aware way, which makes for a charming, adorable and somewhat enchanting way to make a… well, it is still technically a horror, right?

    Aaaanyway, good on Netflix.

  • Mark Bisone

    I’m a little surprised Mike dismissed Star Treks 2 and 3 as “adventure films”, without the so-called “complicated” ethics and sci-fi depth of the TV show. In fact, those two films were superior in both departments to any other star-trekky offerings, on any sized screen.

    The key to their depth was the Genesis Project: ostensibly a high-minded, progressive terraforming program intended to help the Federation populate uninhabitable worlds. Carol Marcus is the brilliant-yet-naive scientist drawn to that cause, without grasping the potential downsides to the invention of such godlike power. In some ways she is similar to Oppenheimer, but without that man’s militaristic purpose. She only sees the upside to scientific progress, which is the primary danger both in her world and in ours. In the mythic sense, she is Pandora opening the box.

    Khan, meanwhile, was banished to a barren wasteland, where life’s struggle is obvious. His introduction has him marveling at the lone species to survive; a jumbo-sized parasite that destroys the human will. He sees life not as a purposefully created paradise, meant to be populated by beloved creations, but as a Nietzschean arena where stronger wills dominate weaker ones. He is a social Darwinist and demagogue looking for the quickest route to power. That being the case, he immediately sees the potential of Genesis as a weapon.

    There are analogs to nuclear power and the arms-race aplenty. But nothing in “Khan” or “Search” beats the viewer over the head with them. In that sense, it’s all perfect science fiction. We are handed an intellectual/moral problem about the advantages and dangers of progress, and never spoon-fed an obvious answer.

    I know Mike will never read this. But if he did, I’d be curious what it was he felt made “The Undiscovered Country” (with all of its anvil-on-the-skull Cold War references) more of a nuanced sci-fi film than “Wrath of Khan.” I guess I can accept that it was more of a “Star Trek” film, but only because most of the TV shows had equally simplistic morals and themes.

  • Crixxxx

    I thought Mike liked Star Trek: The Star Trek, or was that just Plinkett?

  • Thanatos

    It’s cool that the board game came with little character shaped candies for you to eat.

  • Thanatos

    The only ethical dillemma Jar Jar even posed was whether you call him a gungan or a goonga.

  • Thanatos

    No going back once you cross the picket lines.

  • Thanatos

    Don’t worry, someday Mike will go through it to point out all the references. He promised.

  • Thanatos

    Shame about that last season though.

  • Strelnikov

    He changed his mind after he sobered up.

  • Thanatos

    At least you have a book about the making of Jurassic Park

  • Thanatos

    There’s two massive, massive problems with the look of the movie.

    One is the aforementioned shaky and jumpy cams, where you cannot tell what the fuck is going on anytime someone is in hand to hand combat or shooting at each other.

    The other is that the movie is very, very dark much of the time. I’m not talking about that four letter word tone, but there wasn’t enough goddamn light to see anything.

  • Thanatos

    Who the hell uses a Mac?

  • Thanatos

    You have paid the price for your lack of vision

  • Thanatos

    There’s also the one where they play cards.

  • Thanatos

    The same Youtubers who cried bloody murder when they got called pricks.

  • Thanatos

    Only because Ballroom Blitz is catchy as fuck

  • Thanatos

    Yeah it seems like the same amount is left as we left off with from the Ghostbusters review. I expected them to start chugging that thing right after they stopped the camera.

  • RLMkeepitup

    as others have said the tv and films are kinda apples and oranges to compare but i got the vibe Mike always favored the shows, where the series started

  • Thanatos

    I saw a movie poster for it on the way out of Star Trek and all it said was “You know his name” with a picture of Matt Damon. I was confused. Yes, I know who Matt Damon is. So what?

  • Thanatos

    I think only a very few amount had pilots. The size of his little guard post means there can’t be more than maybe 50 to 100 of his “people.” There’s like 200 bazillion bee ships. Probably a few key nodes flown manually to keep the formation, rest following the patterns.

    That’s why only a few landed on the ship in the beginning to invade, and why it took so long for them to do it despite 2894787438 miniships whirling around the Enterprise for 10 minutes.

    I assume the radio waves just screwed up their pattern adjustments causing most to crash into each other. Not sure how that destroyed ALL of them though…..maybe enough of the node ships were taken out that they couldn’t keep command any more of the rest.

  • Thanatos

    AND YET, no Batman series has been as good as TAS, and no Batman has been as good as Kevin Conroy despite them trying over and over and over. At some point you just have to accept it.

    That’s why Brave and the Bold was so great, because they just gave up trying to compete with the cool Batman and poured everything they had into camp Batman.

  • Domo

    Do you think Star Trek 2 and 3 were more character studies? I always thought Star Trek 2 focused on “The needs of the many”, while Star Trek 3 wrangled with “The needs of one,” and the Genesis project was a vehicle to tackle Spock and Kirk’s moral compasses. Supporting characters battled with it in their own way, some failing in the process, yet with Spock and Kirk to kinda meet in the middle, 2 and 3 showed how advantageous it is to have people with different outlooks working together to solve problems.

    If nothing else, Khan and Search showed how much Spock and Kirk needed each other in a way the rebooted Star Trek films never could.

  • Mark Bisone

    Yeah, that was a major element. In some ways, 2 and 3 were the greatest example of sequels I can think of, because the arcs were opposite trajectories that met in the middle.

    But the fact they were also character studies only adds to their greatness, in my opinion. In “Khan” those were the necessary human touches to a story about the horrible dangers of blind hubris. In “Search” those were the necessary human touches to a story about the potential payoffs and drawbacks risky ventures. I’m just saying that I think the backdrop of a miraculous terraformer / doomsday device was a perfect sci-fi context for those stories. Like all scientific endeavors, the value of Genesis depended on the observer’s moral understanding of reality.

  • Domo

    I never saw the TV episode with Khan’s introduction, but always felt Khan was what Kirk could turn into without his team to keep him in check. His need for a vulcan to be around, to cite regulation, was always a nice touch.

    It may have been more streamlined in a 2 parter TV episode, and a little easier to digest, but as a movie it’s great to add so many extra characters and scenes to place under a metaphorical microscope.

  • And the one where the card game has some thematic relevance to the plot of the episode.

  • The politics of ST6 is always what gets me invested in it. I always loved the part after the abysmal dinner they had to endure when Gorkon tells Kirk “You don’t trust me, do you? I don’t blame you. If there is to be a brave new world, our generation is going to have the hardest time living in it.”

    There is just so much a movie could do with that. ST6 works fine but I always expect a little more from it than it delivers.

    The tone of 2 and 3 are more adventurous then The Motion Picture and maybe that is why Mike dismisses it. “Khan” and “Search” is really good Star Trek in movie form.

  • Derrick Cryderman

    Shut up nerd. Moovies are about shooting and not nerd things, idiot.

  • netcrave

    Absolutely not. Beyond looks so much better in almost every way. Beyond is also the first film to use this incredible Warp effect. 2009 didn’t have this. They also got rid off these horrible lens flares. Watch 2009 again, it looks a lot worse.

  • Norm Hull

    There are parts to Generations I love, like Kirk’s mixed feelings about retirement, and not having much to go home to. Picard also realizing he has no real family besides his crew (though I’d prefer his family to not have burned to death) and the idea of the Nexus. The quote

    “Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. But I rather believe than time is a companion who goes with us on the journey, and reminds us to cherish every moment because they’ll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important how we lived. After all, Number One, we’re only mortal.”

    Then Riker’s “Speak for yourself, I plan to live forever sir”

    But the setup to it, the fact that we have no idea who is on Viridian III that Kirk sacrificed his life to save. Saving the crew of the Enterprise B was enough, he could have “accepted death” and chose to go back to the Nexus somehow. That fucking emotion chip. That “Family” is forever ruined by knowing they burn to death (fucking Robert is such a Luddite he can’t even put in a sprinkler system?! I mean couldn’t they have driven that point home by him reuniting with his nephew to find his nephew no longer wants to join starfleet and ended up wanting to work on the vineyard like his dad, that Picard never took the time to mentor him?)

  • Norm Hull

    I think he did as “Space Adventure Film Set in the Future….of Space!” but not as a real Star Trek film

  • Norm Hull

    God, we are basically living Star Trek 6. A bunch of Cold Warriors who have nothing to do, so they scare us into even more fun adventures that never will end.

  • Norm Hull

    I’m ok with the companies getting credit. It’s better than the stealth pandering and censoring things to not make China the bad guy that Marvel is doing. They’ve even filmed extra scenes for Chinese audiences

  • Norm Hull

    Id-riss?

    Ide-reese?

    Ayd-rice?

  • Norm Hull

    Or a space housewife looking for the space milkman, if you’ll pardon the dairy parlance

  • Norm Hull

    Also a subtle Futurama reference with the classical music comment. I’m sure they just wanted to make that joke anyway

  • Norm Hull

    Yeah, it seemed like Simon Pegg really wanted to do as Star Trekky of a movie as possible, and that scene was probably a compromise. The producers probably wanted a huge action setpiece and he wanted something a bit more creative than smashing the city.

  • Norm Hull

    Dang, I have friends who enjoy the occasional psychedelic. I avoided trying any of it for years after one of them went nuts for a while thanks to of all things cough syrup. I’ve tried a few as time passed and I can see how it could mess people up, especially if you want to stay in that “world” for extended periods of time. I’ve been lucky not to be that addictive despite it running in my family. Drinking honestly for me I’ve seen alot worse happen than acid or weed, but any of those can turn people boring or depressing if that’s the only thing they ever want to do.

  • Norm Hull

    Wait, what happened on that day? That was when Guy Fawkes and a bunch of marauding Mexicans invaded a convenience store, right?

  • Norm Hull

    He liked it but also said it had a ton of problems. It wasn’t exactly good, just likable.

    He goes more into it with their Force Awakens Review: where they did alot of things right that Jurassic World did wrong

  • Norm Hull

    Also anything by Brenda Lee

  • Norm Hull

    And that cover of Lesley Gore’s You Don’t Own Me

  • Robotpals

    The Evil Dead Thing vs. the GoonieET Squad. And it’s that awesome.

  • Imperial_orb

    The Alamo, yes.

  • bleurgh

    Keep in mind I am either a total hypocrit or speaking from experience. I used to be a full blown alcoholic and have taken acid and shrooms several times, regrettably when I was young, before I’d seen anyone develop full blown psychosis from psychedelics and still thought that the fear-mongering around recreational drug use was all based on lies, but after you see a third or fourth formerly smart person in their 20s develop shizophrenia, alienate themselves from their friends and family, become homeless and fall right off the deep end you start to connect dots. I grew up in a middle class suburb. It’s straight up crazy that three people I knew in my early 20s had this exact same thing happen to them.

    Cough syrup has mild hallucinogenic qualities which makes it very similar to psychedelics so you can get psychosis from that too, but the thing that really fucks you is the sedative affect of it that can give you literal brain damage.

    Even weed supposedly has mild hallucinogenic qualities and so if you smoke an ungodly amount it can supposedly trigger a psychotic break. Although I’m kind of in two minds about that and sometimes suspect that weed is often made into a scapegoat for people who were dipping their toes into heavier stuff at the same time and can’t admit it.

    Whilst it’s true that people who practice moderation often avoid any of these pitfalls the problem is most people don’t learn how much is too much until it’s too late, putting aside the all powerful self-denial that drug addiction can give you, which also fucks up your perception of moderation. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even think I was an alcoholic when I quit drinking and in hindsight I definitely was.

    I’m not sure what the point I’m trying to make is.

  • Adventuress2

    They didn’t look shrink-wrapped – that’s some stale candy.

  • Adventuress2

    AHH The tension is killing me – when will the phone start ringing?!

    Also really liked the new Star Trek movie. Easy plot, good characters, nicely timed inside jokes that weren’t too obvious, and excellent use of “classical” music. Go see it!

  • Earth

    Id – riss.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Idriss Elba has the worst American accent I’ve heard, save our last 2 presidents. HIYOOOO!

  • infernocanuck

    Thanks for the peace and love, homie. Maybe think more along those lines before you start throwing around cruel, factless accusations?

  • Nu-uh!

  • They already have that it’s called all their series.

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    It’s called an opinion, you got to deal with that G

  • thestoner

    Didn’t fall for the shit at the end. A 51 min. review for a Star Trek movie, right!

  • RLMkeepitup

    ya i would have watched the whole thing but by the end it was basically mute

  • Mark Bisone

    Oh I agree that 6 is the more political film. I just don’t think it was all that “sci-fi”, in that prospective science didn’t play a key role in the story. In Wrath, science is central to the story. Leaving aside all the adventurous nautical elements, we see a demonstration of the perils of scientific hubris and how the law of unintended consequences comes back to bite us in the ass. Just like Genesis, Khan himself was the result of a science project conducted with the best of intentions (self-directed evolution with the goal of perfecting mankind). But that project went horribly awry, because his creators were as naive as Carol Marcus and her Federation backers. The fact that one dangerous blunder goes chasing after another is what drives the action, but I think that the warning against such dangerous blundering is also thematic.

    I always thought that was the essence of all science fiction — a story that uses prospective science to philosophical/metaphysical questions. I think it could express political themes as well, but politics can be expressed through any kind of story, staged in any setting.

  • sigaba

    It’s not that audiences are stupid, it’s just that movies with plot and character usually don’t travel well, there are too many cultural cues that the filmmaker is relying on the audience to already be dialed-in to. This is why the political aspects of Star Trek and the Nick Meyer Hornblower-In-Space attributes have been systematically purged in favor of enemies who want revenge in the simplest terms possible, MacGuffin superweapons, and explosions. The bad guys are always implacably evil without being terrorists (too American) or being misunderstood Freedom Fighters (would piss off Chinese censors).

    Comedies in particular are almost impossible to sell internationally unless they’re VFX extravaganzas or really visual (see: Lewis, Jerry and Ghostbusters, reboot of)

  • sigaba

    Also: The Chinese co-production marques are required, or else the film would be subject to Chinese import quotas. Only 25 foreign films are allowed to be distributed in China every year and the US studios used to compete heavily for access to these slots. But now they get Chinese companies to dump equity into the productions in exchange for a “domestic” Chinese release that gets in under the quota.

  • Joe Syxpac

    It’s like when you open up a 30 year old pack of baseball cards just for the gum.

  • When they referenced other Youtiube people and say it caused a shit storm, where do they mean? I follow RLM pretty close and have never seen a shit storm, except that one in Honduras when I was 25 and in love. Just wondering where all this occurs. I find it all very suspissssious.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Where all shit comes from.

    Youtube.

  • Joe Syxpac

    It’s not as bad as the old days. Laurel and Hardy used to shoot a movie in English, turn around and reshoot the entire movie scene for scene in French, and do it again in Spanish.

    I guess they hadn’t figured out dubbing yet.

  • So the comments on YouTube? Very easy to avoid I guess. I post comments there but I never read them. Those people are assholes over there. I mean, we’re assholes, but they’re bigger assholes that make Sue Bee Honey bottle noises when they poop.

  • ikdks

    I liked the lens flares. It created the illusion that no direction was up. Lamps point light down, if there are lights from all directions, illuminating every surface, there is no down.

    And other than that one effect, all the design elements were consistent across all three films. It’s your opinion of them that’s changed.

  • ikdks

    V-ger wasn’t trying to pork the Earth.

  • Domo

    Well, I saw Star Trek: Beyond, and let me tell ya, I felt the heartbeat Mike was talking about. This is the closest you can probably get to the Star Trek movies of old while being modern. The trailers didn’t really do this film justice. So much problem solving! Characters get a lot of screen time and have depth! The world-building was wonderful! The only thing that’s hypercharged is the action.

    The things I didn’t like included:

    Fight scenes that overwhelmed you visually, with a mix of shaky cam and this swirling action to where you couldn’t quite figure out what to focus on.
    Uhura’s dialogue is kinda weak in comparison to other characters.
    Sound issues where I couldn’t hear certain conversations while stuff is crashing in the background.

  • ikdks

    But I like them all (except for the ones that suck). I don’t limit myself artificially.

    There are some interesting creative choices made in The Batman. There is no reason to ignore them simply because TAS was better.

  • Domo

    It seemed like people went to the 3 commenter’s youtube channels and said repeatedly “RLM thinks you’re a prick.” Each of the 3 handled it differently. Jahns went “My friends call me a prick. It’s cool.” Armoured Skeptic was fine in a “Senpai noticed me” way, but his girlfriend was mad at people thinking it wasn’t a joke.

    Chris Stuckmann freaked out, unsubbed to RLM’s channel and patreon, then made a 7 minute video about it on Facebook. That’s where the majority of the drama is.

  • fred

    Yeah I wish the beast wasn’t so resident evil. Tired of that shit.

  • fred

    It’s gets way better around episode 3 or 4.

  • fred

    redbox it is then

  • fred

    Just skip to when Mike starts eating stuff.

  • RLMkeepitup

    2 out of 3 ain’t bad. Anyway if RLM criticizes you it’s like a compliment

  • Adventuress2

    I think I might have done that…that gum was something.

  • Domo

    I would say this is something to watch in a theater, if possible. We watched it in IMAX, but it wasn’t necessary. It’s similar to Gravity or Interstellar, where you watch it at home for the first time and kinda regret it because the visuals were so nice. Just a thought.

  • Takao

    Hello

  • Açúcar

    No, please.

  • Takao

    Come to Brazil

  • Sweet. People I have never heard of drama! Yay! I would put it at the top of my page if RLM called me a prick. It would be a badge of great honor. My tits squirt man milk when they retweet my artwork.

  • Thx for the info, btw 🙂

  • Bubs

    I sent them hate mail and a Nukie dookie in a box. But other than that, dunno.

  • Goes to show how secure he is about his work. And to top it off, he has more subscribers than RLM.

  • frankelee

    Aids-Rice

  • Variant

    Uhura’s dialogue has always been weak though. She’s literally just “hot grade A academy super genius chick”… always felt like the most forced part about these movies to me. And in the old show as Mike has pointed out many a time, Uhura was really a background character most of the time. She had her little moment with Spock where she was teasing him and some other entertaining dialogue, but overall there just wasn’t enough dialogue to even assess who her character was. She was kind of just there. So I’m fine if that’s what you mean by weak is that it was lacking in content… fine by me. Sounds like the characteristic of a background character. If by weak you mean super lame then I totally get what you’re saying

  • Variant

    I haven’t heard of this shit storm either (I figured anyone who watches Redlettermedia must HATE the youtube personality scene almost as much as I do.)
    But RLM does have shit storms. They’re more typically related to “they added a new person or segment to their show oh noooo-oooo-ooo”

  • Variant

    Pretty much how I operate. I accidentally read one or two at the top while I’m typing mine and other than that it’s filled with garbage.

  • Variant

    I don’t know who any of these names are but I’m sure they’re all big pricks. Except maybe the guy who said he likes being called a prick. YOU’RE SUCH A NICE AND COOL DUDE. (I hope he hates that)

  • He has a small video addressing them.

    facebook com ChrisStuckmann videos 1044263238944877

  • Kenlin Bros

    When the review got to the spoiler section and they were both positive about it, I paused the review, checked the running time and figured that I would go and see the film before coming back and watching the second half.

    Just got back and watched it now.

    Womp womp.

  • Kenlin Bros

    Corooskant?

  • Me too.

  • Robotpals

    Other than the Three in the original series, they were ALL background characters (who would sometimes not even be in an episode) who were simply presented as a competent and loyal crew. It wasn’t until they started getting smoke blown up their butts at Star Trek conventions that the supporting cast turned into an ensemble demanding equal footing with the captain and the two bickering conscience angels on his shoulders.

  • netcrave

    Nope, it’s literally not. As I said, the warp effect is new, no movie before had it, for example. There are also no more lens flares, which is great, because those were the dumbest shit ever. So you should re-watch.

  • Variant

    I’m just talking shit by the way guys I don’t mean it

  • ikdks

    That warp effect was literally 10 seconds of footage. The props, the sets, the costuming were all essentially the same with some minor tweaks to indicate the passage of time, Kirk’s hair for example.

    And again, I don’t think you get the lens flares. It’s called mise en scène, it means the emotional reaction you get from the set design. Think Terry Gilliam or Tim Burton.

    The lens flares were supposed to give the audience a sense that the enterprise was an other worldly environment. In the world we live in, lights aren’t pointed directly into our faces, they point down to the ground. But the enterprise is in space where the is no ground and there is no down. It’s actually pretty clever.

  • netcrave

    It’s irrelevant how long something was, my point is that everything was more refined, more evolved and looked better than it has before and it did.

    Yeah I get that they didn’t add lens flares in 2009 to annoy people and hurt their eyes, but that’s all they did for me. That’s why it’s another positive change in Beyond that this shit was removed.

  • ikdks

    They are same physical objects from the previous movies. They are not more refined. It is your perception that has changed.

    It’s like when you go to your old neighborhood and everything looks tiny.

    You probably just got used to them. I had a much higher opinion of First Contact after they retonned all those design choices into continuity on Voyager and DS9.

  • netcrave

    Special effects aren’t objects.

  • richardwicks

    I’m curious what other people think of this statement:

    “Star Trek Beyond was the best Star Trek of the new cast to date.”

    Because I think it was. It’s the first film to have a nearly coherent plot, although it was hardly perfection, but still, it was pretty good.

    In the first film, I couldn’t get beyond how Kirk kept getting promoted, or how the crew just kept coincidentally chancing into one another, or why the villain was out to kill any planet – just go to Romulus, give them the advanced technology and go into hibernation to meet your wife again after warning them about the impending catastrophe.

    In the 2nd film, why would Kahn be wanting to kill everybody? He was a power hungry superman – why didn’t he just try to take over the federation? He has the intelligence for it. Just kill Robocop (to be fair, Peter Weller was awesome in Naked Lunch, and he even sought out that part!) and then take over the planet, then the Federation with his superior intelligence. What does he have against Kirk and crew?

    I think Beyond was, BY FAR, the best film of the new cast so far. It wasn’t a great film, but it was pretty damned good – but not quite as good as the first two films. I think Robert Wright’s cut of The Motion Picture was very thought provoking and it’s my favorite, and the Wrath of Kahn, very clever and entertaining. Kahn there has very clear motivations and he intends to take over the universe as well, unlike Into Darkness.

    I’d rank the latest film 3 out of all the films, maybe even 2. I thought it was extremely well done.

  • Norm Hull

    I think some of it is those people already had some sort of issues, and use ways of escape to cope. though when you ingest chemicals made by strangers anything can happen.

  • Robotpals

    I suggest watching some original series episodes (shut out “cheesy sets and props” and focus on “dang, that’s actually well-written!”), and you’ll see that Kirk is not at all the half-cocked renegade that people seem to think he is. Piccard takes his pips off in every movie, but Kirk’s renegade move in Star Trek III to steal the Enterprise for his friends’ lives was so shocking because it was OUT OF CHARACTER. Kirk was by the book, a nerd in the academy, and the youngest captain of a starship because he was not only brilliant tactically but an exemplary officer.

  • Robotpals

    Have you seen Spanish Dracula, made at the same time and using the same sets as the Bela Lugosi film? It’s pretty amazingly good!

  • Just another guy

    I actually really enjoyed that time where they did nothing. It was very peaceful, restful and calming to me. I let it play in the background, listened to my fan and read a little bit. Thanks guys!

  • infernocanuck

    And you gotta deal with me calling you on your bullshit, G!

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    Your opinion only, that’s what it is. No one else bothered to waste their time trying to impose their will on me like you did.
    Seem to make a habit of this don’t you?

  • Mugato

    Yeah, Kirk’s level headed and by the book. Except when he cheated on the Kobayashi Maru test, defied orders to get Spock to Vulcan so he could get laid, broke the temporal Prime Directive, broke the regular Prime Directive and stole and destroyed the Enterprise.

  • Samuel

    As has been said a number of times, the movies distorted what the character was like in TOS. Movie Kirk != TOS Kirk.

  • DanceK

    I love the sound of Mike breathing. I could listen to it all day and all night.

  • ikdks

    Ok, so Sabotage…

    There’s no youtube clip of Beethoven doing the 9th at Red Rocks. There’s no Letterman clip of Paganini talking about his childhood. We don’t listen to Edison cylinders, and even if someone transfers the track to another format, the quality is so crappy it often isn’t worth it.

    Our media is different. Its different than all the media that ever existed in the history of the world. It will survive in a viable format until the human race destroys itself. People will listen to Jimmi Hendricks in the 24th century because it was recoded in hifi. The rest, the old stuff. Its all lost. Our stuff isn’t.

    The other thing is, ok both versions of Kirk, Tom Paris, Will Smith in I Robot, Johnny Numonic in Burning Chrome, they all have a fetish for the latter half of the 20th century. Vintage motorcycles, shotguns, Chuck T’s, Rock and Roll.

    Now on the one hand it’s just a cheap way to not have to design futurey stuff, take something new, call it vintage.

    On the other hand, the end of the 20th century might prove to be the last time people were allowed to risk their own lives. Self driving cars, future safety devices and standards will take all the risk out of life.

    In the future, that period may be viewed like we view Cowboys or Pirates, as escapist fantasy for a world without consequences.

  • ikdks

    TOS Kirk broke the prime directive constantly in the series.

  • Ultor_IVXLCQ

    Hey if you are a real trekker I recomend you watch Star Trek I: Specter of the Future AND both sequels – RETRIBUTION – REDEMPTION (the 3 in youtube). Even thou some of the dialogue may be taken directly from the series, it makes THE BEST STAR TREK pale in shame when compared. Awesome history, well written dialogue and a coherent plot that develops in the 3 movies along with the personalities of all the cast. Best Star Trek based sequel that nicely ties EVERYTHING in the Star Trek Universe.

  • Derek_Sye

    I am utterly shocked by this review. This movie might as well have been a Michael Bay film. All semblance of narrative was replaced by explosions…

  • Pablo Ramos

    Misusing his power to sack Decker…

  • andychrist

    there is deffo a market for non explosiony non revengey non doomsdayey sci fi and something like star trek is the perfect vehicle for those ideas , i hope thats what happens , that the makers realise that there is a constant revenue stream available from that cos every other franchise fulfills the need for revenge doomsday explosions

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Did Mike have a shaving accident? What’s wrong with your face?

  • Kevin Cooper

    I rented this movie, made it about 45 mins into it, never watched or
    saw the rest of it, It lost me when compartments started to loose compression and the crash landing… really? Oh, and forget about gravity, it it did not exist in the movie… Yawn, Transformers crap.

  • Jonny Edworthy

    The only thing I don’t like about this film is how, despite being set 250 years into the future and in a federation spanning countless star systems, the ships and space stations are still named after stuff referring to the American Revolution.

    But I suppose Star Trek is an American franchise written by Americans.
    Even though Beyond was co-written by a British guy.
    Whatever.

  • Lexi Express

    That is an interesting take. And it holds true today, the steady upwards advance of prosperity and tech does leave some with a nostalgia for less mechanised times. My Grandad born in 1929 told me how safe and spoilt he thought society was now (c.2010) and laughed remembering he thought exactly the same thing in 1975. Though he had hair, a girlfriend and control over his bowels in 1975 so he didn’t mind it too much.

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