Half in the Bag: Prometheus

June 11, 20121,372 Comments

Mike and Jay talk about the divisive new film Prometheus, Ridley Scott’s kinda-sorta prequel to G.I. Jane.


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Filed in: General UpdatesHalf in the Bag

  • Sam

    FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU

  • http://www.facebook.com/Dark.Reaper.and.Galactimus.Zero Marvin Choi

    wait…no opening scene?

    whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?!

    • Guest

       “It’s this thing called hyperbole. It’s really popular with the kids these days.”

  • andy

    I can’t believe you guys swallowed this cynical scam of a ‘movie’. Prometheus is the antithesis of storytelling and an attack on everything cinema is supposed to be.

    • Joe

      What is cinema supposed to be? To be entertaining…
      Entertainment is completely and utterly subjective.
      Which is why people like movies like Tango and Cash

    • WildPig

      Jesus Christ get out of your basement.  Regarding to science fiction, it did everything I asked for from a Ridley Scott film.  With it’s obvious flaws, it was still an immersive and enjoyable experience. 

      What’s wrong with having an imagination?  How about you figure out what the black goo is or why the Engineers wanted to destroy Earth.  Why does everything needed to be handled out on a silver platter.  If the nitpickers and basement dwellers didn’t like this movie, they should stop watching movies altogether. 

      • ILikeDumbMovies

        “obvious flaws” and “still enjoyable” – those 2 things don’t really go together

        • Allison

           Everything has flaws in it. The people who look for absolute perfection in everything are idiots with unrealistic and unmeetable expectations.

          • ILikeDumbMovies

            You don’t understand language very well. If he said it had minor flaws
            or minute flaws, then I can see where it would still be enjoyable. But
            he said obvious flaws

            Obvious flaws might go with endurable, but it does not go with enjoyable

          • Subatomic09

            Obvious is not the opposite of minor. The opposite of minor is major. The opposite of obvious is unobvious. Minor flaws can be obvious and major flaws can be unobvious, depending on how well you understand the plot and themes, and the process of filmmaking.

            The guys at RLM are remarkably good at recognizing minor/major and obvious/unobvious flaws in films, and they are also excellent at maintaining a reasonable perspective on how much of both a film can have while still remaining watchable or entertaining.

            Considering your username, it seems a certainty that there are movies you love which have major, and obvious, flaws. We all do. And anyone who says they only enjoy flawless movies is either lying or unbearably pretentious.

          • SnowBall

            Wow you are really working the semantics and twisting his words without success.
            Even if there was major unobvious flaws and he thinks it makes it non-enjoyable he will still think the movie sucks balls even tho you say opposite that aint opposite this..

    • Guest

      I’m sorry but there is no definitive way to tell a story. It’s all subjective.

      • SnowBall

        ……. facepalm

  • Dr-G0nz0

    I agree with alot you guys have said. But I feel the reason it doesn’t make alot of sense is because he’s going to make more movies…

    Good film in its own right, if you detach it from the Alien franchise.

    • Dr-G0nz0

       I also felt alot of the people that panned it were the one’s going thinki “this is a prequel to Alien.”

      If you haven’t seen it, go in with an open mind!

  • http://www.facebook.com/louis.gonzales1 Louis Gonzales

    The only complaint I have about Prometheus are the stupid characters. 

  • Richard

    ‘If you get upset by a film like this, you shouldn’t watch films.’

    Hear hear!

  • Wadeal

    Wish these videos wouldnt load so fucking slow. Either host them somewhere decent or put them on Youtube.

    • Guest

       Or how about you use a browser that doesn’t suck and a better internet connection? They load just fine for me, and I’m assuming most of the other people that come here.

    • PrivatePyle

       Got no problems here with slowness, so maybe it’s justyour connection

    • http://flutterknife.tumblr.com/ Papa-Longsword

      I live in Australia, and the connection to my house means I can’t youtube at 720p without needing to buffer. I’ve never had a problem with redlettermedia.

    • http://www.facebook.com/johnkrzeminski John Krzeminski

       Probably just your horrible internet connection. It loads in a second for me. Unless you’re some nerd who complains about waiting 2 seconds. I’m guessing you didn’t grow up during the “dial-up age.”

  • GuyintheHat

    I think you guys are lost on what the movie is supposed to be. It’s in a sense a prequel to the Alien franchise as it takes place before the original film, but it’s intended to be a universe expanding film that adds more to the mythology of the Alien series. Scott had intended a prequel but during pre-production and re-writes he wanted to keep the DNA of the Alien franchise while focusing on a greater story that elaborated on the purpose and background of the Xenomorph and finally giving us a greater glimpse into the species the Space Jockey, from the original film, belongs to. 

    • Boo

      How did you interpret anything they said as being “lost on what the movie is supposed to be?” They seem to understand all that pretty clearly. They’re not lost about it kind of being an Alien prequel, they’re lost because the story is told in a confusing, sloppy way.

  • Robinirwin

    so basically a Michael Bay movie where visual effects are great but the plot is unfinished and confusing like a script for a star wars prequel 

    • http://twitter.com/kzap333 Andrew Coleman

      Um… no.
      That’s not what they said at all.

  • Nottle

    I loved the ending. Great review guys.

  • Noble Bear

    The movie is bad because the characters are idiots. They aren’t scientists, they are teenagers who act as stupid as possible to advance the plot.  

  • http://twitter.com/Spybot64 Andrew Gale

    Is this the first Half in the Bag without an opening scene?

  • Nick

     The ending to this was better than the movie.

  • Ertre

    You are being way too nice guys.

    It was garbage.

    Search your feelings you know it to be true.

  • Mister T

    They went a little easy on the terrible dialogue and wasted potential in the film, other than that I think it was a pretty fair review.

  • http://twitter.com/DXU James Ward

    I find the visceral reaction that some have towards this movie hilarious.  I personally liked it a lot despite it’s flaws.  Hope they make another one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

    Kids these days…

  • Imaquest

    “My first thought after seeing the movie was: Where’s the toilet. My second thought was: Aaaaaaah.” 

    Oh god my sides!!!!

  • Santana

    Having not even seen the trailer for this one, and not even liking the Alien franchise that much, I was utterly disappointed not from a “prequel” perspective, but from a purely storytelling plot-organizing one. The characters do stupid illogical shit all the time. The consequences for most actions are often confusing or nonsensical. One of my favourite ones is how the mohawk guy shout out loud that HE’S A GEOLOGIST AND HE LIKES ROCKS, and then ends up getting lost in a cave while having access to a map that was scanned by the drones he planted himself. Overall, the movie feels like a disjointed mess, like if someone was desperately trying to hamfist some symbollic meaningfulness in a plot written by a 5 year old. Then it all climaxes down to a monster mash and wraps it all up with the possibility for more sequels. I’m terribly sorry to disagree with you guys, but this is not how you write for movies. This is not how you even write for pulp fiction.

    So what is troubling me at the moment, is how you guys, who deconstructed TPM to the core of its poor scripting, were unable to spot all of these things and how they contribute to ruin the movie. So seriously, give it a little more thought, and analyze it from a Plinkett perspective. I’m sure things will become more clear from that moment.

    • Guest

      Not gonna happen.

  • PWisGuest

    My one glaring issue with the film *SPOILER* (kind of) was the mohawk guy who was navigating them through the dome using the “puppies” and some omni-tool navigation system GOT LOST HIMSELF when he tried to leave. And the last 5 minutes did seem like they were slapped together last second.

  • Nova

    Should have said more on how awful the dialogue was but otherwise fair. It needed to be highlighted because of how completely unlike the Alien dialogue it was. In Alien everyone talked about the little picture, their life, getting paid, etc. In Prometheus from the beginning it’s all big picture, big ideas and inspirational speeches.

    • Mister T

      You can bet someone will reply to this with “but that’s what Ridley/Lindelof were aiming for, it’s about the Big Questions”, so allow me to pre-empt this.
      They were on a mission to discovery rather than on a routine mining operation, so it’s fine to explore these ‘big-picture’ existential ideas. However it’s usually better to imply them through subtle sub-text rather than blurt them out like some tedious college freshman. A little more of the mundane, day-to-day discussion and the practicalities of the mission would have made the philosophical talk more effective I think.

      • Guest

         3 days. You lose. (And no, this doesn’t count).

  • Daniel Payton67

    Agree with you guys totally. It was a very intense film with perfect pacing, world-building and visuals. The script is shitty in parts but the acting and general production is so great it makes up for it. I find it depressing to see kiddies on the internet try to say “Its the new Phantom Menace” when it clearly isn’t.

    • ryan braun

      It isn’t the new Phantom Menace, it’s much much worse.

      • Asinus

        So, did you see Phantom Menace when you were 10?

        • Red_Castle

          That’s very clever. Were you 10 when you wrote it?

          • Guest

             WORSE?

            Are you fucking kidding me? Don’t tell me you’re one of those idiots that digs deep into the clearly flawed script and doesn’t even bother looking beyond the surface of the quality film making. I’ll just break down the effectiveness of visuals and effects since I’m assuming you think that, like Phantom Menace once was, Prometheus was “just pretty”.

            Phantom Menace — Obtrusive, top-of-the-line special effects that were outdated in 3 years, filling every frame and pulling you out of the film to the point you couldn’t follow the abysmal plot.

            Prometheus — Stunning, creepy imagery and a good mix of practical and special effects that were used effectively to create atmosphere and draw you into the movie so you could spot every little inconsistency and defect in the characters, as opposed to The Phantom Menace where you couldn’t even tell who the fucking protagonist was supposed to be (remember that?)

            What differences in quality between these two films there are, are glaring and in favor of Prometheus. Unless you can actually give valid, objective points (distanced from your own disappointment) as to why you think Prometheus is actually worse, than you are simply wrong.

          • Red_Castle

            Wow, you manage to call me a fucking idiot, say I’m wrong about my OPION between two movie all the while assuming how I perceive during the movie-watching experience. Are you my ex-wife by any chance?
            I’m actually quite sick and tired of arguing about Prometheus and I don’t need to justify shit to you about what I think. So I’ll keep this brief.

            I never said Phantom Menace is good. It’s actually pretty shitty. Production values, including direction, on Prometheus are top notch. But that’s all it has going for it. For all the problems with the story, acting, etc., see the article and posters’ comments; no need for me to rehash them all here. To top it off the story, plot, themes, questions, whatever, are not complex or transcendental, it’s pseudo-intellectual trash. The story reads like elementary-school-level fanboy fiction.

            To point out some surface-level problems: Shaw finds a 35,000 year old cave painting at the Isle of Skye (uninhabitted 35k years ago by early human because of the last ice age) along with half a dozen other pictograms depicting an individual pointing to 6 dots. From these, DESPITE her faith, she concludes that we were created by aliens (not by God) and the wanted us to go to the six dots to find them. I would maybe expect that level of thinking from someone wearing a tinfoil hat who listens to coast to coast with George Noory all night. Then, if the viewer was paying attention they’d realize those six dots don’t actually represent anything at all. Galactic system is mentioned, there’s no such thing. So how did they determine the location of LV-223? Magic. Finally, when Vickers wakes up and asks how long, David replies: 2 years, 4 months, 18 days, 36 hours, 15 minutes. Yeah, one could say that’s a minor mistake, every movie has them and I’m a detail nazi. My take is that it’s a metaphor for the level of intelligence on display during its entire 2 hour run time.

            I’m out.

          • Guest

             I’m not talking about the script. The script is everything you say it is, and that I recognized it to be after leaving the theater. I’m talking about the positive components of the film that you’re glazing over. It’s not opinion to say “Prometheus is worse than Phantom Menace”, it’s a statement of fact, and here you lack evidence to back it up. Next time you want to defend your opinion, tell it as an opinion. “I hate Prometheus more than I hate Phantom Menace”. It’s that simple. Also, don’t try to save face by making this out to be you just defending your opinion against some asshole who LOVES Prometheus (which I certainly do not; I’m just irritated by morons) and that playing my game isn’t worth your time (apparently finding my comment and leave a wall of text is, though) when you’re the one who has left, not one, but two comments I’ve read stating “it’s worse than Phantom Menace”. Don’t ever confuse your disappointment of a film for objective critique, especially when you say such childish shit, and try to rationalize it by articulating the obvious (Prometheus has a bad script) to back up the ridiculous (it has a bad script, therefore it’s a bad movie).

          • Red_Castle

            The only reason I replied to you was to try remain and to perhaps spark a debate. Instead of offering at the olive branch you seized the opportunity to further berate my intelligence.
            First, I’ve already admitted that saying “Phantom Menace is better than Prometheus” was in jest and that I was playing the devil’s advocate. Second, saying so is not a statement of fact, but a declarative statement. A statement of fact would be calling you an asshole who hides behind an anonymous handle searching for self-validation by vociferating people idiots. I signed up here to discuss movies, which means I’ll get snarky from time to time. And after this I will not reply to you regardless of the bait.

          • Guest

             I thought you weren’t coming back? Oh, well. Anyway, this debate has been interesting and I’m glad to have won so victoriously. And I don’t think that heavy assumption of me is a fact considering I’ve got a much larger penis than to type of person who would do such pathetic thing (as you do as well, I might add).

            And yes, when you CORRECT someone by stating one piece of art is worse than another piece of “art”, you are presenting it as fact. However, it IS also a declarative statement, so you’re right on a grammatical level. It doesn’t have to be black-and-white you know, there’s some gray there. Take that piece of advice and apply to your future film discussions (which last I checked had to do with objective reasoning, not heavy analysis on the flawed aspects of a film for the sake of validating your opinion).

            See what people like you do to me? I didn’t even care for the film that much.

            I’ll be back soon. I’m gonna go fuck my girlfriend. Wanna join?

          • S1nner2snt

            Perhaps you have heard it said that you can make a bad movie from a
            good script but you can’t make a good movie out of a bad one. For
            someone so quick to dismiss someone else’s opinions you suspiciously
            failed to qualify yours. Just because you state something as fact
            doesn’t make it so, or make you right for that matter. Facts can be
             refuted, while opinions cannot. So, instead of providing evidence for
            your asinine statements, all you have done is berate the previous
            poster’s, as well as numerous others’ by the look of this thread,intelligence,  without displaying any of your own. Insult is
            the lowest form of debate. However gifted a wordsmith you may be,
            the pinnacle of human intelligence, as you so desperately would have
            others believe, you are not. For all convoluted
            doublespeak, your posts served no purpose other than to expose your own
            stupidity.

          • Guest

             And I’m really sure this is, in fact, the last time you’ll be replying to me, right?

          • Red_Castle

            I’d like to point out one last thing. Ironically Prometheus has become the new Phantom Menace, whether you agree or not. On the one side you have people who loathe the movie and point out its miriad faults, on the other side you have the movie’s defenders. No other film has polarized viewers since, well, Phantom Menace.

          • Guest

            The reception of the film is no indication of its quality actual at all, especially upon release. Look at the initial responses to all of Kubrick’s films (an no, I am not actually saying Prometheus is Kubrick quality, at all.) The people who loathe the film really only loathe the script, but expand upon it so much they overlook the film making and reduce it to just “it looked pretty”. The defenders are only trying “explain” away the flaws in the script. So the focus here, really, is the quality of the script, not the film as a whole. With the Phantom Menace, the focus was on everything, because nothing was done right. There’s quite a difference.

          • Guest

             *EXPOUND upon

  • Tmobbs

    That was really even handed, I really liked how you addressed the disappointment backlash.

  • DarthVaderHappyMeal

    A very good and tough review.  Yes the movie left questions but it realistically had my attention throughout by hinting that maybe around the next corner– the very next minute of the show– may be the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything.  What may have been upsetting to some is that perhaps the answer the movie ended up giving was too close to 42.  Again, thanks for the review.
    Anyway I heard that the great movie producer, George Lucas, is retiring to smaller, special projects:  BUT WHO WILL BE LEFT TO MAKE OUR FUTURE “RED TAAAAAAAAAILS ???”

  • Mister T

    I think that a lot of people who dismiss justified criticism by saying, “you’re just disappointed because it’s not a direct prequel” are missing the point. This may be a source of disappointment for some, but the real problem with this film is not its disconnect from Alien or that it has unanswered questions. The problem is that the script and dialogue were frequently ham-fisted, predictable, boring and more concerned with trying to appear ‘deep’ than to tell a good story or create interesting characters (Fassbender’s David notwithstanding). It was a reasonably entertaining film, with some amazing artistry, but it was a shadow of what it could have been and this is the most frustrating thing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/johnkrzeminski John Krzeminski

    I was very disappointed by Prometheus. It could have easily been it’s own separate movie, but instead they took a couple elements from Alien just so they could market it to that fanbase. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

      Just “a couple” elements from Alien? Everything but the main plot came from Alien. The very shape of the alien ship came from Alien. Even the drool coming from the android’s mouth came from Alien. 

  • Sahsadh

    Yeah every story is basically based on something in history or the writer’s experience. When you make a movie about the origin of our species or the origin of life etc. it’s can not be anything but confusing and weird. People have been in life threatening situations before, so there was a lot for the writers of alien to be inspired by. But for this the story needs to be genius or it will inevitably just be confusing.

  • Ryan Hill

    Best ending to a half in the bag episode.

  • http://www.facebook.com/matt.mossman.75 Matt Mossman

    Wow, are you guys off on this one. There are so many holes in this story and the characters were awful. 

    • Guest

       …and they mention that there are holes. So how are they off? They’re just “off” because YOU didn’t like it?

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

        It’s the old “plot-hole” meme that comes up in every movie comments section. Every time “kids these days” can’t figure out a movie, it must have a “plot-hole” somewhere. Guest, Mike and Jay didn’t say one thing about Prometheus having a plot hole, they said it raised more questions than it answered. That’s not a plot hole, just a hole the movie left behind in your brain. 

        • Mister T

          SPOILER:
          100% DNA match between engineer and human sample? Surely that means that not only would humans have the same physiology as the engineers but that the human individual from whom the sample came from would be the same individual (engineer) they were testing against. I don’t think DNA can match 100% unless it’s from the same individual.

        • Guest

           They at least have the brains to not let the movies flaws get in the way of its achievements. Can’t say the same about a lot of you kids.

  • S G

    Interestingly enough, that was one of the more positive reviews I’ve seen/read. Well, disregarding Ebert’s enthusiastic 4/4 stars of course. And after the first “as bad as “The Phantom Menace”, “Worst movie ever”-quips, I also pretty much disregarded the user-reviews, but even the professional critics are mostly pretty harsh on this flick.

    That said: Mike’s and Jay’s comments have at least given me some hope after all the exceptionally negative reviews out there. And since everyone seems to agree that Prometheus is visually stunning, I’m fairly certain I’ll still go see it in the theatre. Especially after HITB’s thumbs up. Now I *only* have to wait till August 9th for some reason … thanks a lot for that, Fox..

  • Themarlboromen

    I think Sam Raimi kinda succeeded with Drag me to Hell.

    • Mister T

      Yes, and the goofy CGI effects added to the charm of that film. It was a bit like the ridiculous stop-motion animation in Evil Dead 2.

      • Guest

         Stop motion is cool looking though. CGI just…I don’t know…isn’t. It’s definitely goofy looking, but it doesn’t have that same organic charm.

        • Mister T

          Yeah it wasn’t as impressive or entertaining as the stop-motion, but it was still done in a intentionally cheesy way which had a similar effect for me.

  • Jarmam

    So it makes no sense, the characters (though well performed) are nonsensical and act somewhere between adolescent and flat-out childish, the bizarro pointless pseudo-action scenes with infested Beard Guy and his completely incompetent mate are like whatever, the uselessness of 2/3s of the crew is a shoulder pull, but at least its pretty and the costumes are nice…?

    You could say the same about Aliens Versus Predator. The exact same. Its like paraphrasing a youtube-review of that movie, except backwards.

    Maybe I just missed the first part’s apparent glory because I was facepalming so hard from the terrible introduction to the main character and the crew and the completely pointless “twist” that paid off as professionally as Magneto’s switch at the end of First Class, but when I spend more time wondering why everyone acts like their brains are malfunctioning it kind of ruins the fact that its pretty. Even the cavemap-plot makes absolutely no sense if the planet/moon was meant as a bio-weapons department, why do the cavemen point to that place then? Even the aliens (not the Aliens as they arent in this movie, thank god) make no sense. And yes, while I had my reservations before going in, I wanted to like it. I really did. But throwing me a bone per 30 minutes and Hugh Hefner’s ballsack once per 5 seconds didnt really do it for me.

    Whats frustrating about this movie – apart from its utter pointless tie-in with Alien, which does nothing but take it from sloppy sci-fi to flat-out insulting since its Ridley Scott making it – is that its absurdly pretentious compared to how unfathomably poorly written and told the story is. The Dark Knight is also sickeningly pretentious as best illustrated by the ending’s voiceover, but it has something to be snobby about. Its also a “well-made” movie, but not just in the technical stuff, it does more than just look pretty. That isnt irrelevant.
    Prometheus feels like it wants glory, but it wants to do nothing to earn it. Putting a cross on someone’s neck and having her seek her maker is not “big questions” if its just a cheap excuse to send her on a mission where she’s utterly useless and having it result in absolutely nothing. They could have done that in any of the Alien movies by just using the bloody androids like they should have in this one. Heck, Alien 4′s android is 10 times more interesting than the main char in this movie and A4 is a bloody popcorn parody! I dont care about anyone on that Prometheus ship except the android and the hot-cold chick, as they were the only ones with potential. Granted, the movie has its moments with both David, Whatsherface and Shaw’s surgery (indeed by far the best scene in the movie, probably because Shaw doesnt speak. Too bad no one else even bothers registering what happens in that scene, even though it apparently conflicts with their plans – or maybe it doesnt? I dont know….)
    Its not the worst movie ever made. But it just isnt even remotely enough to justify its existense.

    If Ridley Scott really felt, like I do, that the Alien-sequels ruined his glorious monster and turned it from “perfectly designed menacing terror-juggernaut straight out of nightmares” to “glorified ant with claws and teeth”, then he should have made a movie “correcting” that. If he wanted to make a pretentious sci-fi movie about DNA and black goo and blonde robots and utterly pointless “action” scenes and religious motivations that make no sense, he should have made that and we could have been disappointingly laughing at the movie and not bother with more. He made both’ish and thats why people are more than disappointed. If Michael Bay or Zack Snyder had made it I wouldn’t even be disappointed and I certainly wouldnt be frustrated. But because its Scott after all his talk about Alien, it goes beyond disappointment and into frustration. Simply put it feels like he tied it with Alien to make it a cash cow and after his talk about the franchise that is insulting.

    Call it childish or cynical or some other cop-out words ’till you’re blue in the face. Being gullible or overly forgiving or happy if its shiny enough are not qualities.

  • Jonas

    This is the best movie I’ve seen so far this year. I’ve just read all the comments before posting this, so I know you people will disagree.
    But please tell me of these plot holes. I didn’t notice anyone.
    Also: People doing stupid things…… that’s like a KEY element in the Alien franchise. You shouldn’t bash this one for doing it. It’s fan service.
    Opposite of Aliens and Alien: Ressurrection, I really liked the characters in this one. What was wrong with them? I thought Michael Fassbender was fantastic.

    • Mister T

      Agreed, Fassbender was fantastic, however he was the only good character – the rest were badly written and utterly forgettable.

      • Jonas

        I disagree. I think it was the most believable cast since the original. The characters felt more real, compared to the cartoony cast of James Cameron’s Aliens and Alien:Resurrection.

  • David Krhut

    the leaving in garbage bin is nothing new ;-) 

    check this one – 2 aliens arrive (+ leave) in it as well
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084721/ 
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFrL-4bY4mQ 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000186767736 Matt Zakibe

    I don’t think this was a bad movie by any means but I really think it would make a good Plinkett review with all of the plot holes and inconsistencies and completely illogical characters.  Not to mention trying to connect it to the Alien series.

  • Bronilex

    Prometheus was AWESOME. Best movie I’ve seen in years. Creepiest film I’ve seen since the first alien film. I’ve seen so many people hate on it and it does my head in. The film has all its answers contained within it- even the open ended questions are answered if you simply watch the film. Even the bits that aren’t totally answers are still semi answered enough for you to ponder them. Fascinating film! Masterfully directed. Prometheus is AMAZING

    • Jonas

      I agree completely. :)

    • Mister T

      Lack of answers wasn’t really the problem though, it was the poor writing and muddled overly-contrived plot. It’s like building an incredibly cool and advanced spaceship and then fuelling it with corn syrup. It was a pretty good film which could have been great with some better writers at the helm.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

      So why do the giant humans want to kill us? Hmmm? Thought so…

      • Guest

        The guy’s expressing his opinion. Shame on him for enjoying a film, I guess.

      • http://twitter.com/kzap333 Andrew Coleman

        Why did the alien want to kill the entire crew in the original film? Why did the face hugger want to hug face? Or the chest burster want to burst chests?
        Okay those last two could be explained by the biology of how the Xenomorphs reproduce (of course no one asked “why?” they reproduced like that).
        We don’t need to know why, in fact if the ‘giant humans’ stopped for a minute to explain it would tot tally ruin the film. You would have people saying “why did the giant human waste his time explaining to the characters why he wanted to kill them instead of just killing them?”.
        The points is, the characters don’t know, so the audience doesn’t know, that’s not the point of the film.

  • http://twitter.com/bbhaver2 Dean Winchester

    Another epic review. Funny as always guys. :)

  • http://twitter.com/Tsoojkovski Tsoojkovski

    I knew there was something off with Prometheus when they got the briefing AFTER traveling 2 years trough MOTHERFUCKING SPACE, how big was their paycheck that you didn’t even question the purpose of the mission?

    • Jonas

      Just like in Aliens :)

    • Brian

      Same thing happened in Aliens. 

      • Wulgarcenty

         No, it didn’t. The crew was coming back from another mission – they were flying friggin’ hauler full of mined minerals en route to Earth.

        • http://www.marxmith.net/ Marxmith

          Same thing happened in Aliens (the second one), not Alien (Alien had the space miners). It made sense in Aliens because they’re military grunts. They’re on a need to know basis and they follow orders. In Prometheus, you get the idea that they are contracted labor. You wouldn’t take on a mysterious job that required two years of travel without knowing what your going to do when you get there.

          • Unluckynumber11

            Unless you’re getting paid a lot of money.

        • http://twitter.com/RobotsPJs RobotsPJs

          You’re thinking of Alien, not ALIENS. 

  • Hollywood_joe86

    I enjoyed the film. The only two solid actors in the movie I thought were Michael Fassbender and Idris Elba (even though he didn’t have much to do in the movie, which is a shame). Again the visuals were fantastic, the build up great, and the “what happens now” ending was acceptable. The subtle details of being an Alien prequel I thought were smart. I prefered it being revealed the way it was in the movie than have a full out “Here’s a Xenomorph!”now you know where it came from. There’s still that mystique to them even with the very last scene, but that gave a hint to their creation, and made me crave more answers, which I thoughrouly enjoyed.

  • Flappy McMarmite

    Good one.

  • http://twitter.com/skatingprince Hieronymus Борщ

    The ending should’ve mirrored the scene when the drunk archeologist was talking to David, i.e. “we made you because we could”, ya know? The Engineer should’ve said that to the human beings. Actually if the Engineer had said anything it all it would’ve been a vast improvement.

    • Santana

      I felt that “because we could” reply was so predictable and wrong at the same time. It’s pure meaningless movie language. The most obvious and logical reply to “why did you created robots like me” would be “to help us”.

  • Simonruane

    Review Snow White and the Huntsman. Too many people liked the Movie. You need to give the movie a negative review!

    • Guest

       They’ll give it whatever the fuck they want.

  • BingBong

    I figured it out. Prometheus wasn’t a prequel to Alien, it was a prequel to Idiocracy. That’s why everyone was so stupid and took a 2-3 year trip across the universe, only to get there and ask where they were going and why.

    That’s why scientists had devolved into people who didn’t look for things like evidence and testable theories and instead went with “because I really believe.” This was about year 100 of the knuckle dragging stupidity of year 500 that we see in Idiocracy.

  • http://www.marxmith.net/ Marxmith

    Excellent articulation of what is right and what is wrong with this movie.

  • Dan J Bertrand

    One thing I was hoping you guys would discuss isn’t the ambiguity, but the sheer number of “Things happening for the sake of action” scenes. You guys constantly rag on this, but never mention it in this review. There are so many scenes in this movie where there is an action scene, someone dies, and then it has no further impact upon the plot or trajectory of the characters afterwards. The ridiculous zombie scene comes to mind, but even [SPOILER] Not-Ripley’s husband’s death really had no consequence afterwards and wasn’t really discussed again, or the abortion scene (I realize that it was why there was an alien in the lifeboat, but no characters ever discuss it again, despite multiple people knowing about it).

    There were also “questions answered in one sentence”, which was something criticized in the Star Trek movies. We find out the Engineer base is a weapons facility and that they plan on destroying life on earth all in one line. We don’t know how he got that information (I guess David read it), but it’s really sloppy to base something that will define how the characters act for the rest of the movie based off a single line.

    Apparently about 30 minutes was cut from the movie, so one can hope a Director’s Cut will come out that may fix a lot of the sloppy things. I’m find with ambiguity, I’m fine with un-answered questions, but the movie as is was definitely muddled.

    • Santana

       I don’t think even a director’s cut will save it, given that I heard the editing was supervised by Scott.

      • Guest

         What does Scott have to do with the script, the real failure of the movie?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

      Everybody is an expert on the internet. 

  • http://twitter.com/TimGreeley1 Timothy J Greeley

    Hey now, Land of the Dead wasn’t completely bad. It had moments, and continued to evolve the genre. That is more than I can say for many other zombie movies.

  • Fakeemail87

    I agree with everything you guys are saying but..
     
         Honestly, it didn’t make any sense and Its probably the worst film since The Phantom Menace. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

      Then you’re not agreeing with everything they said. Kids these days…

    • Boo

       Haha! Did you really post “the worst film since the Phantom Menace” right after watching a video where they make fun of people calling this the worst film since The Phantom Menace?

      • Hoodoo

         that’s the joke

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas

    (SPOILERS)

    I agree the film looks fantastic. But it’s way to complicated (biologically speaking) and why jam all that into one film, but leave so many questions unanswered – ‘oh you’ll just have to wait till the next movie, kids’ Well fuck off, they can’t finish a story in 2 hours? Set ups for sequels, especially when the story here is so light, suck.   

    In the original Alien the action from the actors is very genuine (and it’s true, I don’t think Ridley has topped this yet, the rest of his films to tend toward pure eye candy). I was (naively) hoping for a return to form, but nope we got movie dialogue. A while this doesn’t bother me so much, it doesn’t effect me to much when actors on a set get killed by a special effect.

    Despite this, I was on-board with this movie, and enjoying it, until they return from the pyramid and Shaw gets the robot-alien-abortion. After that everything falls to bits. Nobody goes running after Shaw, suddenly nobody cares that there’s apparently an alien infection onboard, there’s dudes getting stomped and toasted in one part of the ship, while an old guy gets his feet washed in another. No one gives a fuck what’s happening, this space expedition has turned into a mad share-house from hell. I think you guys said the first half is great, it is. But then there’s this ‘lets wrap shit up and get to the sequel’ BS rush. 

    Now this is not the first time I’ve heard a review (from many other reviewers about many other movies) say ‘it’s not great, but considering the shit that’s out there, be grateful.’ Nup. I don’t wear that at all. It’s a bit sad that I have heard this so many times. The really sad thing is I’ve noticed other reviewers start to give the ok movies a free pass with higher ratings then they would have in the past. The really sad thing about Prometheus is while it’s an incredibly well made film visually with so many details, its downfall is its story. There’s a monstermash of aliens critters, and while well paced out at the start, it becomes a mad movie popcorn dash to the sequel. Its story should be its core, one of the first things to look at, long before they decided David should have Weyland logo thumb prints. 

    One last point to rant about, Vickers big reveal that Peter Weyland is her father is almost as pointless and stupid as her death. JUST RUN TO THE LEFT OR RIGHT! Don’t run forward! Fuck. What was she in charge of back at company HQ? Bet they were glad to be rid of her.

    • Robinirwin

       i agree. Hollywood has lowered the expectations of movies so when a movie is ok but still a mess, it looks fresh compared to all the crap that is out there.

  • Santana

    Also did anyone here started laughing at the part after the crash, where the engineer ship was threatening to crush shaw and the blonde chick, and they BOTH run foward instead of running sideways, only to see Shaw finally rolling to the right in the last moment?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas

      Yep!

    • Tmbtm

      The thing is: there are massive debrits of the ship falling on both side. Not sure I would have take the risk to go sideway myself… That’s why they run ahead. But yeah, it looks a bit cartoonish.

      • Santana

        It’s not that the edge is exactly shielding them from having debris falling in its path though. Instinctively, running sideways also sounds like the most possible outcome.

  • Neversilvius

    The Alien movie’s are great, and among my personal favorites. That being said, they are amazingly overrated. Imagine you were seeing Alien fresh for the first time in the theater. One could easily say that it was an overachieving monster movie when compared to something like 2001. The reasons people think the first movies were full of this rich character development is beyond me. Ripley goes from being a not scared lady to a scared lady…amazing. For all of it’s flaws Prometheus had a vision, and can at the very least be credited with having an amazing visual aesthetic.

     

    • Neversilvius

      Crap…”The Alien movies” is what I meant. Before I’ve had my coffee and just give out apostrophes like tic-tacs. 

  • Mr.Girth

    I think the Engineer at the beginning was the real Prometheus metaphor or at least a dual layered metaphor… I think his people, of he stole directly the DNA stuff from the flying saucer people/gods (cause that flying saucer doesn’t look like an engineer ship to me at the beginning) and immediately paid the price. His people maybe then recognised its destructive potential and spread it as a weapon. Its my theory and Im sticking to it. :p 

    • Santana

       The thing is that even from that point of view, the Prometheus metaphor doesn’t work, simply because Prometheus did not create mankind, but instead bestowed upon them the gift of knowledge and rational thinking. Kubrick’s vision in 2001: A Space Odissey with the “Dawn of Man” sequence feels more accurate on that aspect, even though it lacks the whole sacrifice thing.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas

        There’s a hellva deepthink on the movie’s meaning here: 
        http://cavalorn.livejournal.com/584135.html#cutid1

        • Santana

          Too much if you ask me. I think he’s just seeing depth where there really is none. That’s one of the problems with mythology: everything is so interwoven and there are so many commonplaces inbetween different human cultures and their respective activities, you could do a similar analysis to a golden girls episode.

      • Mr.Girth

         Thats cool man. What if we were on Earth and the DNA water thing was a 2001 monolith style accelerator, with would be like the Engineer giving us “added wallop”…?

    • Neversilvius

      Dude…I did not even think about that. The question of “Who created the creators?” is even posed in the movie. Call me shit for brains, because you just blew my mind out of my ass!

      • Mr.Girth

         Hahaha My apologies! And thanks for the reply.. :)

  • Conorh89

    there where just too many holes in the story. call me old fashioned but i like to understand whats going on

  • mariner1980

    Sometimes it pays not to analyse a movie like this too deeply. it is after all tied in with  a long standing franchised series upon which it relies very much for its emotional impact.
    Consider for example how it might have been viewed if Alien had never been made. Still a beautifully crafted film, the CGI was beyond critiscism but despite this, no more than another run of the mill sci fi extravaganza.The monsters were nasty, the aliens suitably enigmatic and the sets impresssive, but it is nothing we have not seen before.

    As with any film, there were a few holes. For example; the character  of Dr Shaw leaping around like a spring lamb after having just undergone major abdominal surgery, the seemingly docile acceptance of their Kamikaze role by the surviving flight crew and the erratic sometimes incomprehensible agenda driven behaviour of the Android.

    Sometimes the power in a film comes not from what it shoves into the audience’s face but what it leaves unsaid for them to imagine. This was one of the great strengths of Alien but sadly lost in Prometheus.

    All that having been said, on a less intellectual level it was a great film and I enjoyed it immensely, despite the chattering popcorn crunching monkeys sitting in the row behind us.

    Well done Ripley Scott. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/david.dryburgh David Razi Dryburgh

    The map maker gets lost leaving the cave…So that’s bullshit.
    And they find irrefutable proof of sentient alien life, and no one seems terribly bothered or surprised. THEY SHOULD BE SHITTING THEIR FACES OFF.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas

      Better yet, they find all that and the scientist’s BF (a seemingly rational guy) goes on a bender, all pissy that despite finding they’re batshit theory is right, finding buildings with the power still on, samples of aliens with stunning similarity to humans, he’s all upset that after thousands of years since their last contact with Earth, there’s none alive, sitting around waiting to chat. 

      After that I was, ‘oh I thought you were a scientist, no you’re a fucking man-child I await your death.’  

    • Santana

      Don’t forget about reputable scientists taking their helmets off while in foreign and completely unknown environments, risking to get contaminated with all sorts of alien bacteria. Same thing for the way they inspect the Engineer head on board. Do these folks even know the meaning of biohazard? Also “put that flamethrower away mohawk guy. We don’t need weapons for protection in a completely unknown planet that might be riddled with dangers.”

  • http://bit.ly/cnX6ad Bazzzinga

    I have to say I do agree a lot with this review, personally I didn’t hate Prometheus but leaving the theater I was really disappointed with it, I couldn’t quite place my finger on why at first apart from the obvious issues of low character development etc. but when I discovered it was written by the writer of Lost everything suddenly slotted together… The visuals and direction of the film are incredible, easily matching films like Blade Runner in terms of creating a universe and making it feel real, but the script feels like 3 seasons of Lost compacted into 2 1/2 hours, it has some incredible moments, memorable characters and interesting plot points but little in the film is explained, not only in terms of the overall ideas and questions  the movie puts over (which I’m fine with in a movie) but even in terms of the more minor events in the film.
    SPOILERS
    For example the excellent scene with Noomi Rapace in the self-surgery capsule is incredibly disturbing and engrossing and certainly feels like a significant moment, but it is never really mentioned again in the film and little to no explanation is given as to why David attempted to prevent her from removing the alien and she doesn’t even become angered with him when he all but confesses to purposefully putting her in harms way and infecting her husband with the black oil, leading to his death. This to me feels exactly like one of the many seemingly pivotal and engrossing moments from Lost which feel significant but are never explored or really even mentioned again by the characters. And this happens a lot in the film, which makes for a very jarring experience as it devalues what feels like important moments in the story and makes the characters feel strange and unrealistic in that they don’t react in a normal way… Noomi Rapace’s response to having her husband killed, android try to kill her, having to self-surgically remove the alien parasite posing as the child she thought she could never have and discovering this was orchestrated by the android and Weyland whom she thought was dead… is to accept everything and immediately go on an away mission to the ship… WHAT!?… So yeah for me Prometheus is a very well made and visually stunning piece of sci-fi with some memorable characters and moments but is let down by a lack of time for develop all 17 characters aboard the ship and a script which left me feeling engrossed and entertained but removed due to the actions of the characters and overall annoyed at the total lack of explanation… a lot like like a certain TV show.

    • MattintheCrown

      Nailed it.

  • http://twitter.com/theflowerpotz Andreas Nordvall

    I was dissapointed by Prometheus but that does not make me a troll. Kids, it’s OK to not like Prometheus.

    Ridley Scott did Alien, wich while it might be a “simple” story, presents a well-executed horror-tale that serves as a comfortable viechle to explore interesting philosophical undertones. Have people forgotten what this movie was before James Cameron turned it into a slasher-franchise? It’s only the second half of Alien that is anywhere near a “slasher”. The first half asks way more interesting questions than Prometheus ever managed to achieve. And at the same time the answers could be found within the very same themes presented in the movie.

    Where Prometheus ultimatley failed was that it was made to “fill in the gaps” for the questions brought up in Alien. If you think this movie was “too complex” and are afraid of judging it because it asked “too many difficult questions” then you are in the wrong. This movie is no smarter than Inception.

    Prometheus provides NO INTERESTING QUESTIONS. It provides a shitload of STUPID ANSWERS. That’s all the movie is and that’s why it’s so dumb. Maybe you didn’t notice it, but that’s probably because it was in fact so dumb that your brain managed to hot-wire into your nerve-system in a desperate act to avoid mass-dissapointment and disconnected your ability to pick up on blatantly stupid plot-points.
    Really though, both Alien and Bladerunner were good-lookin’ flicks with a simple enough story, but the subtext was way deeper than most schlock out there. Prometheus was so on-the-nose preachy with make-no-sense answers that it almost became insulting to someone who actually finds interest in philosophical aspects of cinema. That is why it is lame.

    Stop thinking people just wanna be cool and dislike popular movies. There is usually a good motivation to it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas

      STUPID ANSWERS?

      The botanist asks Shaw how she can dismiss Darwin and she answers with some honky about what she chooses to believe in.

      Yeah let’s give creationism a free goal in a Hollywood film!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

        Um no, she answers with a question: if we came from the aliens, then where did the aliens come from? (And what is “honky”?)

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas

          Well lets go tap dancing back to the film and argue quotes. 

          When they’re briefing the crew on the mission, the botanist (who is  unfortunate enough to be mouth-fucked by the space snake latter on) ask ‘how can you dismiss Darwin’ and she responds about how she chooses what she believes in.

          Now run back to the film, $15 in hand, and prove me wrong! 

      • http://twitter.com/theflowerpotz Andreas Nordvall

        I have no idea what you just tried to say.

        I didn’t care for the dialouge. It was mostly pretentious, boring, want-to-be deep blabber that didn’t really mean anything, but it sounds cool on the surface, like; “she’s a scientist but she believes in god too..!!”I mean, that could have been interesting if they went deeper into it, but the didn’t. They just mentioned it and therefore we as an audience are expected to believe it’s deep. It’s not. The only good dialoge in the entire film was the one between David and the dude who’s name I can’t remember but who got the black-dick-juice in his whisky and turned into a zombie-thing. You know, when they talk about “we made you cause we could” and stuff. That’s interesting because it’s actually happened in science and it’s plausable it could’ve happened previously in history too. Oh, and I also liked the scene were the racist-stereotype black dude asks the hot captain if she wants to have sex with him. I like both those scenes because they’re very concrete, straight to business and don’t bullshit around and pretends to be a Halo movie.

        No, the “stupid answers” come from things like saying this is a movie about where we came from and then in the very first scene we see this steroid-albino alien-type guy dressed like he’s from a Blizzard videogame and he drinks a shot of some black gue and dies and the ship swivels of into the sky like it was being operated by a drunk or something. Then the aliens turn out to have died because apparently they were working on somekinda super-biological-weapon made of killer-dicks that they store in flowerpots in a sanctuary around a giant face, and apparently they tried to use these to kill mankind because they created mankind but then they changed their mind, but later on in the film when they wake up one of the remaining aliens he can easily break like three guys heads of at once, so if they were that strong and could so easily kill people why didn’t they just go to earth in their super-space-suits and break everybodys necks instead of risking their entire species existance in the process of developing a race of killer-dicks that could easily kill all of them too?

        “Alien” was such a great film because it hinted and gave clues to a greater story. It invited you as an audience to be smart and figure things out, and the plot was so well written it even created a small paradox within itself that made even the most casual audience-member get the point. It was awesome. And they didn’t show too much. They left stuff for the imagination. They always had the alien sort of hidden in the shadows so it because a much greater threat because we all imagined our greatest fears hidden among the shadows with those dripping, slimy teeth. There was a nice simplicity to the film that worked in it’s advantage.

        In Prometheus, it was like Ridley Scott forgot how to make a movie with the style that he defined throughout Alien and Bladerunner. Suddenly it was all dumbed down. It was all “OH, UH, SO I GUESS THIS IS A PREQUEL TO ALIEN SO LET ME TELL YOU HOW ALIENS CAME TO BE; YOU TAKE A BIG ARIAN-ESQUE STEROID-ALBINO ALIEN, COMBINE IT WITH A PLANT-LIKE DICK-ALIEN THAT’S BEEN GIVEN BIRTH BY A WOMAN WHO’S FUCKED A DUDE WHO DRANK A SHOT OF WHISKY WITH SOME BLACK-GUE IN IT, THEN THEY MAKE A BABY THROUGH LITERAL FACE-RAPE AND THEN YOU’VE GOT AN ALIEN FROM ALIEN. EVOLUTION IN THIRTY MINUTES.”

        I mean, there were nice intentions to the movie I guess but the fact that it puts so much focus on useless crap that nobody cares about and really doesn’t want to know makes it annoying. And, because Ridley Scott is such a credible director nobody seems to dare question his work and point out that this movie is in fact a dumb mess that claims we were in fact made from white albinos in space dressed like Diablo, and that the only way to outrun a wheel-shaped spaceship is by running in a straight line.

        By “stupid answers” I don’t mean the literal answers made by the characters through dialoge. I mean the answers presented in relation to the themes brought up through the film. They were pretty dumb.

        You might think Ridley is a flawless genius because he once did “Bladerunner” and “Alien”, but let’s not forget he also did “ROBIN HOOD” starring Russel Crowe.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas

          wow, that’s a lot of writing.

          • http://twitter.com/theflowerpotz Andreas Nordvall

            I see plenty of comments from you too, Mr Rob Thomas, so I guess we must be both very passionate about this subject!

          • Guest

            Don’t be such a cunt.

    • Guest

       You can dislike a film all you want, but don’t act like a child and then try to justify and rationalize your childish behavior. Holy shit, did you even pay attention to the review?

  • Alexanderheritage

    I usually really love these reviews but mike and jay got it up their bum on this one. They are trying to be FAR too kind to Ridley Scott whilst not accepting that was has been produced here is pure poo. Look at Jay when he makes the face at 3:20. He knows the film was terrible he just doesn’t want to admit it – like admitting your friend always bails before it’s his round.

    *SPOILERS AHOY*

    The film had a terrible story, that, even internally speaking, had no sense to it. It was told in a terrible drawn out way that meanders around before it remembers it’s own run time and it leads to scenes like Dan J Bertrand (a few comments down) pointed out – where “not Ellen Ripley” struggles to have a automated medical unit pull a malevolent alien baby out of her (a horrifying and poignant scene in itself) only for this to never be mentioned again! She doesn’t even talk to anyone about it immediately after it happens! If she had thought to open her mouth it might possibly have even served as a warning about the malevolent nature of the aliens and, heaven forbid, have forced the plot to make some sense. Good God but they were rushing to a finish. Dan’ also mentioned that he doesn’t even remember how the audience finds out that the alien parking garage is actually a big biological weapons dump / staging point. I’ll tell you Dan, because I remember. The captain of the Prometheus (that completely throw away character with 5 lines total and his, swinging cool, shaft-like offscreen boning of Thurzon) just has to open come out and TELL the audience in 2 swift sentences – citing no evidence and no reasoning that he used to come to that point. 

    Story – terrible, inconsistent, illogical and trying to be philosophical but completely missing the point. It’s not acceptable to have an ending that isn’t an ending. Ridley scott has not made a clever movie, he has made a dumb movie. I bet you weren’t sitting there in Resident Evil (the movie) going “Wait…maybe they’re going somewhere intellectual with this”. So why think it of Prometheus when it’s busy smearing it’s shit on the wall?

    Acting – mediocre, except for the robot guy. He was good. Not Ellen Ripley also does quite well.

    Sets and props – Decent, but what do you expect with a big budget movie? They better be decent. Good props don’t make a movie though.

    In summary: The story is crap, as well as being poorly paced. The beginning is only “well paced” because it is very slow – they have to sprint when we get to 120 minutes. the aliens are disappointing. the characters, mean in spirit and in number of lines, I do not care about except Not Ripley, so how am I meant to care when they die? The ending is unrealistic (even in a science fiction sense) and meaningless. In short, a sloppy film

    I was more gripped by the “The Thing” prequel. Seriously.  

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sean-Lombard/1027873603 Sean Lombard

       Terrific review, Alexanderheritage.  This is the first HITB episode where I feel like they rushed the episode and were too soft on the movie because of who made it.

      • Guest

         They didn’t drop the ball, they were trying to be as fair as they could. You suck and so do the two cum dumpsters who like you.

        P.S. I didn’t like the film, and yet I buy everything they said as being genuine. Fuck off.

        • SnowBall

          What are you? fuck off moron fudgepacking transvesite crackwhore

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

      When was the last time you cared when a horror movie character died? Seriously, you’re just ripping on this film because everybody else is. 

  • gues

     What’s the song at the end called again? It sounds so familiar.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=655701905 Corey Schaff

      “Me and all our Gang” – Theme to the Little Rascals

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Foley/100000390928621 Jason Foley

    Every time Jay asks “is it this or is it that” the answer is the negative one. Prometheus is a enjoyable visual/audio experience that would probably be improved by muting the poorly written dialogue, vague-to-make-you-feel-stupid-so-you-have-to-say-you-like-it-because-who-wants-to-admit-they-are-stupid “””depth”””, and stupid for the sake of action actions of everyone involved.
    Also, how could Mike possible ignore the Looney Tunes ship falling scene??? That seems like something right up his alley.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Marvin-A-Lanier/1271856932 Marvin A. Lanier

    To be honest, I thought the movie was great. Does it have problems? Yes.
    ***SPOILERS***
     Repace’s character betrays her self sorta at the end. The guys getting lost in the temple didn’t bother me- because they were already somewhat in when they brought out the tracers- and scared people make dumb mistakes. I feel alot of the questions that are raised are are actually answered in the beginning- the goo is in the cup that kills the protohuman- I think this is to represent the primordial soup. And human consciousness has something the temple changing it’s surroundings, and then the goo starts leaking. It was in the presence of consciousness. 

    I think a second viewing is to be called for- before you can just write it off as a bad movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Kunkle/1783643813 Daniel Kunkle

    My issue was that you only get to know or care about a few of the characters.  Everyone else might as well been Star Trek redshirts essentially.  That and the supposedly smart scientist earning a space Darwin Award.  Hey, let’s touch the hissing and pissed off space cobra.  What could go wrong!?!?  LOL!  Also, the motive for the Space Jockey/Engineer to hate humans and want to kill us on sight was totally unclear.

  • Hexaploid

    Aw, you guys went way too soft on this one. “Worst movie ever” – no way. But it was pretty awful. Kinda shocked how much you guys ignored in terms of the nonsensical plot by doing a “is it really that dumb or did we just not get it” routine. You both sounded like you wanted to say it was bad, but were reluctant to believe Ridley Scott could have dropped the ball this bad.

    • Guest

      You have quite an imagination, there. You’re exactly the kind of person I was thinking of when they went on their little rant about people not handling disappointment like adults.

  • Citizenkane10

    Thanks for the Spoiler Alert. I have not been to see this yet, and I still plan on seeing it.
    The vibe I got from your review would be like me saying I would have liked ‘Godfather 3′ better if it was not directed by Coppola and not part of the ‘Godfather’ franchise. It was not a bad movie, but put next to the first 2 it was crap. Sound about right?

  • Hexaploid

    Forgot to mention – this review was clearly rushed out to capitalize on the attention the film is getting. I totally get that. Unfortunately, it kind of shows. Your other reviews have been much more fluid – there were a lot of non-committal moments here and it seemed like this was the pre-production conversation more than the actual review. Someone else mentioned that Prometheus would have worked better in the Plinkett format and I really agree. In broad strokes the film is okay (at best) – but as soon as you look at the details, it completely falls apart; Plinkett is all about the details.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sean-Lombard/1027873603 Sean Lombard

       Totally agree.  This is a movie where I dislike it the more I think about it.  I left the theater with a “meh” feel about it, but as I thought about it more, it became clear how bad the movie was.

      • Guest

         Correction: It became clear how bad the SCRIPT was.

        • SnowBall

          And what, the script is not part of the movie?
          The movie was bad.. accept it.. find peace mate,,

    • Guest

       Then why not look at the big picture? I mean, it’s a visual medium, amirite?
      ha…ha…ha….

  • http://twitter.com/AWBiggs Andrew Biggs

    Brilliant… Absolutely… Brilliant. Impregnate your face, indeed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sean-Lombard/1027873603 Sean Lombard

    Prometheus was terrible.  I went into this movie with pretty low expectations, as I’m only a casual fan of the Alien franchise, and it still found many ways to disappoint me.  The story was incredibly thin, the characters’ decision making was questionable at best and laughable the rest of the time, and the plot was all over the place.  As one reviewer said, “it’s deep without being particularly smart”, and that’s being kind.  This movie answered questions I didn’t feel needed to be answered, (how the facehuggers and aliens first came to be, for example) while leaving much more unanswered that should have been addressed.

    The visuals *were* great, but it meant very little to me when I couldn’t find a reason to really care for any of the characters associated with these great locations and CG.  The old man’s makeup was distractingly bad.  The dialogue was very reminiscent of Lucas’ Star Wars prequel dialogue, meaning amateurish.  Charlize Theron was given nothing to work with in this movie.  Idris Elba was underused.  Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender did the best they could with this script, but it was rather cringe-worthy at times.

    It felt like this entire movie was made just so that it could be cut into a cool looking trailer to trick people into seeing it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kylejamespatrick Kyle James-Patrick

    How do TWO people get PINNED by a SPACECRAFT at the same time?!?!!?! 

    Why would the captain let his crew die for no reason????
    Is Miss Theron that good in bed that you will lose all desire for life?!?!?
    If Weyland is her father, was he 88 when he had her?!?!TIMELINE : Charles Weyland…. aka Bishop…. WTF… is he the son of Peter???? Don’t insult me Ridders!!!! For a being that had our exact DNA they seemed to have a few different features… like EVERYTHING. Where is the engineers home planet if this is their sandbox???Alien gestation period…. WTFStringer Bell is WAY cooler then this movie.

    • Mr.Girth

       Yeah the pinning was a bit mental.
      As for Vickers’ relationship with Weyland,  It was implied that she too was an artificial person like David at various points.. so he was he “father” like he was David’s (like Roy Batty with Eldon Tyrell in the Bluray cut of Blade Runner… “I Want more life, Father” as opposed to the originally released theatrical cut line.) So I suspect this was not some futuristic Viagra at work there… 

      As for the minimal crew, they volunteered as they needed to pilot the ship to stop the Jockey ship leaving. He at least ejected Vickers’ pod and allowed her to leave, as she was non-essential tot he the ship’s operation. As for the timeline, AVP is best regarded as Parallel universe. (or as it is more commonly regarded, non canonical excrement. :p ) 

      As for the homeplanet…that’ll probably be in the second movie to come, judging by the end of this one…..

  • http://www.facebook.com/kylejamespatrick Kyle James-Patrick

    I passed out when I started thinking of the reason to not understand this film…. uuggghhhhh

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

    Prometheus: Avatar’s evil twin.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Cleverley/572565651 Adam Cleverley

    hi jake and mike…..great to seee you! I enjoyed the flim not also thought it could of been more!

  • guest

    I was hoping to love this film. Great look but yeah it does have LOST bs in it. It’s not very deep even though there is a good lije about dissaiontment with the creators. Great look and nice build up in the first half but then everyone starts acting like an idiot. These characters deserved to die in the most horrible ways possible. There are loads of things to nit pick and plain contridiction. Tbh this would be a good plinkett review i loved the action scenes.

    For those who said it brings up deep concepts take this dialogue:
    Person: Do you have any evidence for this?
    Scientist : I chose to believe that?

    You do not need a diploma to work out the idiocy of that reply.

  • Kfzofa

    Thank you, Mike and Jay. I love HitB and Plinkett :)

  • Clausfarre

    There was a noticable echo in this one. Your ginormous surroundings give your voices cathedralic (?) qualities. Fix that, will ya. Loved the review, I’ll stay away from this messy movie. Give us something straight forward – like Robocop.

  • Larrylongballs

    I loved the twist ending guys. But there are some flaws in Jay and Mikes current predicament. How do Homeless guys afford movie tickets? And how does a guy with one shoe get into a multiplex? Please address these questions in your next installment for continuity sake.

    • Legolas

       It is just another example of how Jay and Mike have no respect for the original ideas behind redlettermedia productions. They have no regard for the canon of the series bla bla bla bla blaaa ….

    • Ryan Hill

      They addressed the first question before, Jay whores himself out for the movie tickets. They did that to be able to afford to go see The Avengers.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Golding/788454806 Anthony Golding

    I don’t really get the hate for Prometheus. It gave me what i wanted, a smart visually stunning sci-fi film. When i first came out after seeing the movie (opening night) i was 100% fulfilled and thought it was great. Then i saw every person who’d mentioned the film was entirely negative about it and had completely unjustified hate (re. ‘worst film evar!’) and i had to second guess myself to think ‘did i miss something’ or was i a moron? Nope, people just put their expectations up too high for anything to reach and get easilly disappointed and react like they’d been slapped in the face over not getting Citizen Kane when they were never promised it.

    • guest

       You couldnt be more wrong. People rag on films with dumb characters all the time this was no different. I didn’t expect an oscar but i expected more than this.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Golding/788454806 Anthony Golding

         Explain what you mean by ‘dumb characters’, were the character dumb or were they written that way? You expected more than this? Why?

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Golding/788454806 Anthony Golding

          Actually, fuck it, i don’t care. I cant to spend my time arguing about a movie online and feel satisfied. I liked this hitb.

          • Guest

             Good. Go get laid.

          • Guest

             lulz

        • PeekaBugaw

          Here are a few examples of dumb and inconsistent characters:
          1. The geologist who mapped the place got lost.
          2. The biologist who was freaked out by a dead alien suddenly gets curious and not afraid when confronting a live alien.
          3. If people in 2012 know about the possibility of contagions, biological weapons, diseases, etc.. how do the scientists of 2094 not? Why expose themselves the moment they know there’s breathable air?

          I disagree as far as this being a ‘smart sci-fi film’. It was more of a horror/monster film in space. Horror films are rife with stupid characters that get killed because they are dumb.

          All the answers we get are characters saying out loud what their theories are, with no real support, and we’re expected to take it as fact. They never translated any writings on the ship and they didn’t let us in on the conversation with the engineer. We only have the assumption of the characters that they are on the way to Earth to destroy us.

          Here’s an example of that assumption: The star maps they found were from multiple civilizations from very different times, implying that they had to have had contact with these engineers in order to make them. They didn’t wipe us out then, why assume they are going to now? Because the engineer killed Wayland and those with him? But we don’t know what the robot said to him, he could have said, “Talk or we kill you.” Who reacts well to that when they just woke up?

          I didn’t hate the movie, I was just really disappointed with all the little stupidities, it could have been much better.

      • MatthewMelange

        I really didn’t find the characters to be dumb, everyone seemed smart and different in my opinion, it’s just the juxtaposition that these people are looking for their creators yet they still cling to their millennial old religious beliefs

      • Guest

         I think many of the fans on this site suffer from simply watching part 1 of Plinkett’s phantom menace review too many times and assume, deleteriously and wrongly, that the only thing that makes a good film is very well written characters or a film being a deep character study.

  • Guest

    It seems it can be agreed that the best scene in the film
    was the abortion… Too bad they didn’t put the effort into a script abortion.
    I thought the film looked good despite the creatures. Did anyone else think the
    Space jockeys looked like Dr. Manhattan and Xerxes had a bunch of love children?
    Not to mention the cobra worm, or squid/ giant face hugger that is not a face hugger
    yet it does the same thing!

    Here is what really bothered me though

    1.      
    They agree to go on a mission but are then briefed
    upon coming out of stasis? So they presumable signed a contract that said very
    little but promised a fuck ton of money?

    2.      
    David’s lack of explanation for his actions most
    of which are the greatest turning points in the plot.  Are we to presume he has reached a “HALesque”
    state of function yet still serves Wayland? He infects Halloway as an experiment
    yet shows no interest when Shaw removes the creature? What did he say to the
    space jockey? His dialogue stating everybody wants their parents dead leads you
    to believe he wanted it to kill the humans but he easily could have done so
    himself.

    3.      
    Holloway’s character serves no purpose other
    than to get infected, make a squid baby, then die. He mattered so little he
    even he wanted to be burnt alive.

    4.      
    The film implies Xenomorphs are created through
    extensive combinations of DNA yet (A) there is a mural of a Xenomorph as we
    know them on the pyramid wall? (B) The space jockeys have identical DNA to us?

    5.      
    Really they start the ship with a flute…
    REALLY?

    6.      
    Prometheus has no offensive
    weapons…none…despite travelling into an unknown environment … not even
    something to break up an asteroid … NOTHING! Yet they bring handguns and
    flamethrowers showing forward thinking of a possible hostile situation?

    7.      
    Human civilizations drew paintings or a star
    system that led to a military style installation… presumably a warning I
    guess yet they didn’t feel a need to have a blatant lazy piece of dialogue to
    explain that like so much else.

    8.      
    Every other stupid thing in this film like the
    geologist getting lost when they had a map. As well as his return to cause havoc
    for no real reason Etc. Etc. Etc.

    Many will say they are setting up a sequel however that is a
    copout of creating a complete story. If it were 2 or 3 films that had been all
    filmed at the same time and released separately than yes I think you could say
    that but it is not the case. They have created a story with no resolve and that
    is simply bad story telling.

    • http://www.facebook.com/kylejamespatrick Kyle James-Patrick

      9. The life support escape pod that failed to save any life… and Theron didn’t even get in it.

      10. Why would a woman buy a machine that only works on a man for her own living quaters?
      11. How did no one notice that there was an emergency operate performed with a a squid popping out of someone… wait… how does male sperm make a squid baby? 
      12. For all their knowledge and skill, humans still get pinned by large falling items like ewoks.
      13. Why did we not see anyone doing anything remotely scientific? Study the ship, study it’s layout, study the black goo.. DONT TAKE YOUR DAMN HELMET OFF. 
      14. Charles Weyland had no plot. He could have just been a brave explorer… but no… he’s guy pierce with a chicken skin costume. 
      15. The opening sequence where the engineer eats a bunch of the black goo does not really say anything other then exposing the films weakness in story telling
      16. Surely the space jockey would have at least stopped to ask “What happened to all my people? Did Jeff seriously die by tripping over and falling under a door?”17. Did they seriously explain the background of the space jockey ship with a more then random video playback hallucination? 18. Where was Charlise Theron during the whole beginning of act 3? Sexing herself? You would think all the infected crew, dead crew, crazy alien ship full of danger and her frozen dad in the room next door would cause her to keep an eye on the ball a bit more.

      • tl;138

         It’s not her pod or medical bay.  It’s Weyland’s.

        • ryan braun

          They make a point in the movie to say that it’s hers.

          • http://twitter.com/kzap333 Andrew Coleman

            Um, that’s before Weyland is revealed (they don’t want anyone to know Weyland is there until they’re sure they’ve found what they’re looking for).
            She’s obviously lying and possibly and andriod (like David) it’s all there it’s just not obviously spelled out.

          • Red_Castle

            Thanks Sherlock. Now explain why that doesn’t make sense in any universe.

            In reality they needed an excuse to film a cool scene with Shaw manually guiding the machine to perform a C-section on herself. If the machine did it for her all the tension would be gone and there would be no scene.

      • Guest

         This is REALLY sad…

    • Guest

       This is sad

  • http://www.facebook.com/kylejamespatrick Kyle James-Patrick

    How to make Prometheus better in one simple step.

    When they wake up the Space Jockey, why not have a conversation with him? 
    I bet he has lot’s of things to say like “holy fuck! you’re humans! so good to see you! And what the fuck?!?! You mad a robot human! That’s amazing! I thought you would just throw turds at each other for a thousand years. Brilliant. Well, I guess you have some questions for me. Shall we put a brew on and I’ll explain why we have a room full of a life threatening bioharzards in open top jars?”

    • Guest

      Eeeh they tried getting David (Lean) to communicate with him. The Engineer’s anger towards the human beings is staying true to one of Prom’s very conspicuous themes. I mean, why would he embrace them like that if we knew they wanted to destroy the humans…

      • http://www.facebook.com/kylejamespatrick Kyle James-Patrick

        Then why would they make the
        sodding  humans in the first place?!?!?!

        • http://twitter.com/kzap333 Andrew Coleman

          Well done you’ve unearthed the point of the film.
          Why did the humans make David?
          Because they could.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

    I don’t think Mike and Jay are being forgiving because it’s a Ridley Scott. But it is necessary, when trying to be objective, to forget about presuppositions and high expectations about a movie. And it’s also necessary for them to avoid being influenced by the attention-whores online pretending to be expert reviewers who didn’t get enough (or who aren’t getting enough) attention from their mommies.

  • Ryan Hill

    I enjoyed the movie, but I couldn’t agree with Jay more on not quite being able to wrap my head around Prometheus. There are so many things that irritated the hell out of me, and in retrospect I thought didn’t work at all, but I still felt like I enjoyed the experience of watching the movie. Maybe I need to take more brain medicine before I think about Prometheus again.

  • Uncle

    Why should there be any connection between humans and the supposed creator of the aliens? What was the logic of making a bridge so weak between points? who cares about god, creator… who cares!

    In the end, James Cameron continues to done a functional job, with better target in the end result. He did Romeo and Juliet on the Boat of Death, then, reuse the same logic with better effects, to launch Romeo and Juliet VS the White Invasor. The two films have billions in scores. 

    Prometheus is an fail idea, adorned with amazing visuals. Ridley Scott choosed a unecessary risk, But, is not a pile of shit as the last George Lucas films, at least that.

  • m0r1arty

    Okay tokey…

    Yes direction, set design, CGI and casting was great.

    However the ‘story’ element was waaaaay lacking.

    I’ll let it slide that it appears only 7 pieces of iconography is enough to explain to the crew the purpose of the mission – there could well be more in ancient texts and stories which back up the theory (David learning all the ancient languages helped indicate the level of thought that’d gone into the project). But yeah, 7 old drawings – any questions?

    1 Trillion dollars and no risk assessment on the crew or apparent procedures for the mission prior to the waking up part – seems very suspicious.

    An elite set of scientists at the top  of their game; let’s take our helmets off in unchecked atmosphere, make wolf noises in an unexplored alien region, smoke marijuana and bypass first contact protocols and quarantine restrictions. Not to mention a geologist not being able to find his way out of a cave, and with all the tech they’ve got.

    David ‘try harder’ I-really-should-have-brought-some-mice Bishop was believable within his role, but c’mon fast thinking, multi-tasking robodude – some of those choices were really silly to say the least.

    I’ve found an alien head, potentially one of our ancient ancestors. Should we test for DNA and other things first (Like the shape of its brain) – nah, let’s nuke it and then worry about that stuff later.

    We’ve got two guys trapped outside in a 200 MPH silicon storm, whose on nightshift or at least turning on the answer machine? No one?? If you can’t be with the one you love – approach unknown creatures within an apparent outbreak of dangerous organisms which wiped out your makers with the one your with.

    So those little worm things have been kicking about now for 2000 or so years – I’m guessing they were in the ‘vases’ as that’s the only appear in the story after they’ve been altered – cool, so that’s what’s getting sent to Earth. They come from that black stuff, the proto-life solution stuff, David ‘I’m really not Ash’ Bishop spiked Charlie’s drink with a tiny bit of the stuff. Charlie ‘I’m so upset that I’ve proven the most major thing in humanities history but I’ve got that modern ADHD thing and because they weren’t waiting for me when I arrived I think I’ll go onto my second bottle of vodka’ then pumps Shaw – who is three months pregnant with a squid the next day. Rips it out by doing a complicated caesarian procedure but by approaching her body as male physiology (Serious, they couldn’t have both genders equipped as standard??) whilst in the meantime…Charlie has now became semi-Engineer like – so what’s that black goo actually do?

    First contact: Weyland, David, Shaw and two non-important characters are finally there, meeting their makers. The guys probably all like, WTF, where’s my crew, how did these guys wake me up, shit man, I might be in trouble, let’s play it cool and see what’s going on. Then Shaw goes all Alanis Morrisette undermining any gravity the moment would have, Engineer dudes like cool, GTG, GTFO and takes them down. Nice one Shaw!!

    When I build my artificial lifeforms I like to add little things like wireless transmitters which allow for decapitation and torso movement independently - maybe not as standard but certainly on a mission like this. It certainly wouldn’t have undermined any of the previous (later) androids we see as they get split down the middle, or decapitated and then shocked in the spine nitpicking but this far in why stop?

    I’ll buy into the captain taking Shaw’s word for it that the ship is returning to Earth, but his two co-pilots don’t seem to sell the scene that they are going down with their ship and pilot, reminds me of Paris and Harry Kim from Voyager – just dumbasses with no understanding of what they’re into.

    When me and someone else are running from a giant coin which has crashed middle up. I like to let us run into opposing directional axis’s away from said coin – the chances for one of our survival doubles instantaneously. Were I either a top scientist or in charge of a trillion dollar operation I would like to think these same instincts ring true.

    Charlie/Shaw/Squid Baby then impregnates Engineer who survived that crash – what’s that going to produce then and won’t it come looking for David and Shaw whilst the galavant to the rest of the Engineer empire who haven’t given a damn about that world for at least 2000 years anyway – probably don’t even know about Earth or nuttin’

    I’ll let slip the need for the Engineer guy at the beginning, it was visually stunning and they’ve placed the drawings across the Earth at around 35,000 years BC – so perhaps the fact that there was grass and trees means they aren’t the origins of life on Earth, just the missing link which made for mankind’s ascent from beast – fits with the Prometheus theme too.

    Now this isn’t to say I didn’t enjoy the film – as a comedy it was as good as any teenage camping film turn slasher (PG-13 but Rated R). The direction, set design, visuals and actors were mostly top rate. I’d say it’s slightly better than Avatar but not by much.

    It got my partner and I talking about it for a good hour or so afterwards – which is a good thing. We generally agreed on the miners from Alien being sceptical and cautious (With a great slug of changing group dynamics in there for good measure) approaching this ‘mystery’, the marines of Aliens were perfect within their roles as wise cracking, testosterone fuelled bad-assness. Now these are the only two film Ripley Scott says he counts as part of this ‘universe’ so we’ll stick with them.

    Why were his scientists on this maiden voyage of such importance to the most powerful man of Earth so foolish and inept at solving a problem together. Had they thrown a few ‘Intellectual Property’ clauses and ‘Need-to=know’ restrictions in there I could see it being a sci-fi representation of the lacklustre attitude so prevalent in contemporary society, However he didn’t and he’s 74 and so does he love/hate science for his fine age but knows it will end soon ergo the underlying plot?

    There was plenty of background elements in the run up to this film, the ARG (Alternate Reality Game) was quite long (But crappy too!) so I expect to see lots of things on the released home edition, perhaps even including a better script – but as a cinema release I was left thinking that it’s pretty much a mediocre film which rides on the back of Alien and Aliens popularity and whilst worth seeing at the cinema – shouldn’t be praised as something brilliant or remotely ‘epic’.

    If this is his swan song then I can kind of see what he was going for – but he seems to think his audience are the same bunch that was around in 2004 when LOST first came out and I think the recoil from that will take years to relax again, and that’s if it ever will.

    Hey a wall of text!! Well, Ridley Scott is worth my writing it and cheers to anyone still reading it!

    tl;dr for the /b/ronies: Film sucked, but is still watchable.

    • Delysid

      It’s Okey-dokey.

      • m0r1arty

        There are many variations upon its spelling. Also some upon its meaning.

        It was used appropriately, I did have a couple of genuine typos in there – but that wasn’t one of them ;)

    • http://twitter.com/PlasticPals Robotbling

       TL;DR

      • m0r1arty

        There’s a special bit right at the end for tl;dr kids – you should always look for it prior to typing that ;)

  • thetrickybuddha

    I’m surprised that they didn’t mention one of the most ridiculous scenes in the movie. You have the captain who seems competent and a pair of disposable crew who based on a radio message of a person they have not known very long sacrifice themselves and potentially their only way home. 

    1) This weaponless (lol) exploration vessel may do absolutely nothing to the alien craft they know fuck all about. For all they know it might have some type of energy shielding and they feel a bump and go “The fuck was that? Oh well.” Actually I take that back if that had happened I would have laughed. 

    2) The captain could probably handle holding down the gas and hitting a ship that was taking off. He should have said “Get your ass to the lifeboats now thats an order” and they should have escaped. 

    3) Put your hands up? This isn’t a roller coaster its a damn sacrificial move. Its not fun and that alone makes it exceedingly lame. Do you funny or solemn. What are you? Whats wrong with your face?

    • MatthewMelange

      Well actually have energy shields ever been used in the alien universe? So they don’t really know that the engineers have that,

      and “hands off” as the captain shouts is their way of not committing suicide, as you can see throughout the film, this movie has a lot of religious concepts, despite it being an expedition to find scientific creators

  • http://twitter.com/henrip Henri Potter

    oh I’m so glad you didn’t dismiss it entirely because you didn’t understand it. I thought it was a brilliant story and an intriguing take on things. You know the meaning of life stuff and how the mankind is just an accident and it always comes down to luck. There is no greater meaning. I really didn’t think they’d make a sequel to this. I think it ended.

    • http://twitter.com/PlasticPals Robotbling

       Scott has already expressed interest in doing a sequel and it was clearly written with sequels in mind.

  • Poopfiend

    http://cavalorn.livejournal.com/584135.html#cutid1   While this explanation probably won’t make you appreciate the movie itself more, it will probably at least help you appreciate what the movie was probably going for.

  • http://www.facebook.com/andy.ladewski Andy Ladewski

    loved the ending. take that continuity!
     

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MNIWMMKE6Z7UMW6ZXFLT2CLAHI OneMinuteGalactica

      That was so unrealistic!  How can a Dumpster take off without having any flames shoot out of the bottom?  Worst Dumpster launch ever!

  • Legolas

    Thanks Jay and Mike and some commenters here. I was really looking forward to this one. Now I know I have to shift down a mental gear when I go watching it.

  • Guest

    There was a lot about this movie I liked. The visuals were fantastic. I liked the universe they created a lot, and the idea of the uncaring creators is a great starting point for horror. But in the end I did not care about any of the characters or what happened to them. The stuff that happened on screen appeared to be due to stupidity or the seemingly unmotivated acts of a curious robot. On one hand the movie touches on religion and creation, on the other the scared space biologist dies from trying to pet a space snake.
    Mentioning extra terrestrial origins for creation is not new or especially “deep” in itself, and it is left almost completely unexplored. I find it hard to see the very vague mentioning of afterlife and references to Christianity as deep, interesting or illuminating. To me it feels like the movie is being deliberately vague to try to appear deep by association without having anything to say. Now I don’t think a good movie necessarily has to be all that deep, but faking it is a pretty cheap trick.

    Why was it a secret that the Weylan came along, and if he wanted to live, why not wait for the results in stasis somewhere safe? Why is it implied Charlize was
    evil, when she does nothing of consequence? Why did David experiment on the cre, and try to bring aliens back? All these things hint at some sinister agenda, but it is not explored or explained at all. In the end it does not even matter to the story, since non of them return. Fewer confusing sub plots might have made it easier to care about the remaining characters.
    Maybe I just didn’t get it, but to me this looks like a stupid movie made in an intriguing universe and filmed flawlessly. With a good story it could have been fantastic. That makes it very disappointing to me.

  • Daniel

    Mmmmn. I’m 2 minutes into this review and I’m not sure I want to watch it to the end. Prometheus was clearly as muddled, confused, poorly scripted, uselessly acted, uninteresting, uninspired and tension-free as any of the Star Wars prequels. And that includes the first half of the movie.

    After Charlize Theron’s mission ‘monitor’ admits to the crew that she doesn’t know half of them; after the gruff, snarling, mohawked, tattooed geologist(!) spits such a laughable cliche as “Look, I’m not here to be your friend, I’m here to make money”; and after watching Logan Marshall Green playing a nice, pleasant, professional archeologist, who for some reason has been directed to act like a smug, superficial, self-absorbed, douchebag fratboy, I knew something was very, very wrong.

    And this was before the plot turned out only to involve a bunch of spacemen continually driving back and forth from two locations for no reason (my my, how EXCITING); this was before the absolutely ridiculous idea that a woman can run, leap, drop, roll and get up again a few SECONDS after having had a caesarian section was presented to us (suspension of disbelief is always necessary with action movies, but COME ON, this is a bit much); this was before it became apparent that not only will we never find out why David chose to poison Holloway with alien oil, but that major, serious, shocking plot development will NEVER EVEN BE MENTIONED AGAIN (as a result, it would have made more sense to have Holloway killed by a falling anvil); this was before 3 or 4 plot twists were shoe-horned into the final act which ultimately proved to be of no interest or use whatsoever (a lazy, pathetic attempt to con us into thinking we’re watching something densely-plotted and surprising); and finally, this was before the miserable, cheap, money-grubbing, sequel-baiting ending.

    Of course, now I’ll have to watch the rest of the review to find out how Mike and Jay can possibly see any good in this satirical sci-fi spoof comedy which for some inexplicable reason is being sold as a thrilling adventure-horror. But I doubt I’ll be convinced.

    (And just for a final note, the CGI was entirely by-the-numbers, the 3D was uninvolving, and the set design, although strictly speaking impressive, was just ripping off Giger, therefore unoriginal.)

    • Guest

       You got two minutes in, which is clearly not enough time to understand their entire feelings on the film, and decided to give up and post a long rant? With an attention span like that, you clearly shouldn’t be watching Red Letter Media videos.

      • combo

         fuck off. so you can come up with any counter arguments to his point so instead you criticize the first line of the comment. I hope you see the irony of you criticizing someone for commenting too soon.

        • Guest

           Learn the definition of irony, you useless cunt.

    • Guest

       “Ripping off Giger?” Giger designed this shit! Are you saying he’s ripping off himself? Holy shit, dude.

      • http://twitter.com/PlasticPals Robotbling

         He clearly has no idea wtf he is talking about.

      • Daniel

        Giger designed *some* of “this shit” for the first Alien movie, and they recycled it for Prometheus.

        “But this is an ALIEN PREQUEL, of course they recycle it!” I hear you cry.

        But then, I thought the whole point of Prometheus is that it isn’t *really* an Alien prequel…

        Ridley Scott had no idea what he’s doing, so he threw whatever in that he wanted and hoped it stuck. It doesn’t stick. I honestly cannot understand what some of you people are getting from this wet fart of a film.

    • combo

       I’m glad people like you exist and I’m not the only one who despised this film. you are completely right

      • Daniel

         Well, I know this sounds like a gimpy comment, but everyone I know HATED this rancid piece of skat. And furthermore, judging by the online blogosphere, around 50% of the audience also hated it, and the next 25% can only say one or two good things about it. We are truly not alone.

        A bunch of unshakeable fanboys will argue that neither of those things mean anything. But we know the truth…

        • Guest

           What are you, a clan? It’s a fucking movie.

      • Guest

         Skim through these comments and tell you two are the only ones, ‘kay, babe?

    • http://twitter.com/PlasticPals Robotbling

      David didn’t intentionally “poison” Holloway.  At that point they had no idea what the chemical would do, and Weyland (seeking the fountain of youth) told David to test a droplet on him.  It could have been the very thing he was looking for. 

      And Giger was actually involved in this one… unlike Alien Resurrection, where they didn’t pay him because they had very slightly modified his design and therefore claimed it was their own.

      • Daniel

        David intentionally dropped a foreign and potentially very dangerous substance into a glass of champagne that he then gave to Holloway. Holloway subsequently suffered an agonising illness and was burned to death. So, okay, fine, let’s say David and Weyland shrug that off as “Oh well, worth a try!” Anyone anywhere (apart from you) would say that Holloway was poisoned and the other two are responsible and have to be held to account. But despite all this, the movie doesn’t bring that major plot point up EVER AGAIN. No tension, no interest, no involvement, no anything. Seriously! A reasonable equivalent would be to suggest that in Aliens, after Burke sets a Facehugger on Ripley and Newt who narrowly manage to escape, that scene and the crime that took place is never mentioned or dealt with ever again. It’s the same narrative and emotional gap. Pathetic.

        And as for Giger, yes, he was involved, but so what? We’re used to his stuff from the earlier films and here it is again, so it’s unoriginal. But oh, you say, this film is a prequel, so it HAS to have the same set design. To which I would respond, I thought the whole point was that it’s NOT a prequel? It’s set 100 years before Alien with different creatures on display. So they designed some boring and useless new aliens for the film (squids really, big deal) and ripped off Giger’s iconic Alien set design.

        Ridley Scott wants to have his cake and eat it, as they say. This is one of the laziest and unimaginative films to come along in a long while.

        • http://twitter.com/PlasticPals Robotbling

           How can they rip off Giger when Giger himself was involved?  And yes of course Weyland and David were responsible for Holloway’s death, and it was a horrible thing to do.  The point is it was an experiment to them, it wasn’t them doing it to intentionally kill him.  They didn’t know if it would kill him.

  • MatthewMelange

    Enjoyed the review, I’ll just add in my opinion that I didn’t like the movie, but I would definitely recommend it, 

    It’s not a bad movie, it’s just not a good movie either, and in this day so many bad movies are intentionally made, if we could just have movies that aren’t bad, I think that would lead to a slightly better world, but on to my criticism of the movie

    So in the beginning it’s stated that there are 17 crew members on the ship, and it’s stated that some of them are only there for security purposes, It’s also stated that when they wake up that the two archaeologists are in charge of the mission, David, the robot, who i think was the best part of the movie, then takes the black goo he finds on the alien ship and feeds it to one of the two archaeologists, so why would he poison the person who was 50% in charge of the mission, on wikipedia it’s actually stated that he was receiving orders from the old man, so why did the old man want the archaeologist poisoned? Did they know that the two archaeologists were sleeping together? and if so, then why would they want to use their two people in charge as Guinea pigs? Why can’t they just poison one of the security guards? Since it seems like anyone else on the ship can operate an ax or flamethrower, 

    • http://twitter.com/PlasticPals Robotbling

       They didn’t know the black chemical was poison.  Remember the old guy was basically searching for the fountain of youth, so when he found out David had brought back this mysterious liquid of course he’s going to want to know what effect it will have on people, because it might be exactly what he is looking for.  On the other hand, you have to wonder why they didn’t bring along some lab rats to perform just this sort of experiment…

      • MatthewMelange

        You’re correct, i shouldn’t have used the word “poisoned”, but it doesn’t detract from my point of why the archaeologist, 

  • http://twitter.com/djbeema Reuben

    You say that as if fan service is necessarily a good thing. I think this movie would have been a lot better if they completely took out all of the fan service. Sometimes catering to rabid fans is a bad idea because it compromises the integrity of the whole project.

  • http://twitter.com/djbeema Reuben

    Go see it and make up your own mind. It’s not a bad movie, at worst you will be disappointed or left feeling “meh.” But you aren’t going to leave the theater going “I just wasted 2 hours of my life.” The plot has a lot of shortcomings and overall the film suffers from a lack of cohesion and thematic inconsistency. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MNIWMMKE6Z7UMW6ZXFLT2CLAHI OneMinuteGalactica

    Around the 15:00 mark, was that a reference to Bradbury’s “The Man,” where he has a character searching the universe for the alien incarnation of Jesus?  Definitely one of his best short stories.

  • Hernanmelzi

    It’s interesting that a lot of people are calling it the ‘abortion’ scene’. 

    • MatthewMelange

      Especially since it isn’t really aborted, since it’s still alive

  • Bronilex

    You bunch of cool hating hipsters. Wow. Let’s all try and out do each other on the hate. Here’s a thought – the movie fucking rocks

    • Zeitgeist

       If by rocks you mean that it rocks like the Titanic before it goes under the waters to a merciful death, then yes, this movie rocks.

      • Guest

         Slightly better, but lacks plot cohesion and believable character motivation.

    • MatthewMelange

      Yes, there are giant rocks shaped like human heads in this movie

      • Guest

         Lame.

  • Stephenba91

    I didn’t love it, but people have called it “the worst thing since Phantom Menace”?  Whaaaaaat?

    It was okay, and I didn’t feel like the two hours dragged, but I was bothered by the seemingly random nature of the aliens’ biology, as well as the professional scientists who act like braindead teenagers exploring a haunted mansion, including the geologist they apparently hired by wandering into some sort of future space prison and shouting “Raise your hand if you like rocks!”  I did like how unsettling the creatures were when they were on screen, even if their nature made no real sense to me.

    I also get that “Is this movie too smart for me, or…?” feeling Mike described, such as how I don’t understand the “bad guy” motivations.  I’m going to be vague but some may consider the following spoily: I wondered why one guy did an evil thing or why another guy kept his true motivation secret and did evil things to protect that secret when his not-that-evil motivation could’ve been revealed to a crew he could have kept better prepared and cooperative.  

    Great discussion as al-woahshit, that twist ending!

    • Liam

      “Who likes rocks”? at the space prison, made me choke on my coffee.

  • Obliviondancer

    It upsets me that the world could love something like Avatar and hate something like Prometheus. Sure it had it’s problems and it definitely could have been better but overall it was a good movie. Compare this to any movie made in more recent months and it definitely holds up as one of the better ones.

    • http://twitter.com/PlasticPals Robotbling

      Avatar is way easier to digest and doesn’t try to include any sort of subtext, so of course it’s going to find a bigger audience.

      • Evan

        And at least James Cameron knows how to tell a coherent story. Which is apparently difficult for Ridley Scott in his elder years.

        • Guest

           He told the story well. The problem is the story he was telling was incomplete.

  • gsystem888

    Am I the only person who saw this movie and LOVED the fact that it’s built on not answering questions and not explaining the motives of characters? It keeps you in the dark, almost like you are one of the crew members: you have no idea what’s going on, you just want to do the right thing and/or want answers.

    • Spaz

      No. I thought it was different enough for me to not mind it’s flaws

    • http://www.facebook.com/olaf2046 Olaf Johnson

      That is EXACTLY the problem with Prometheus. People don’t want to get scammed agained after dedicating more than half a decade to LOST feeling the same way only to get ripped off finding out it was all for nothing!

  • Hafabee

    Loved the scene with the weird alien screams and Mike and Jay are staring around to find where it’s coming from, I almost spat coffee all over my monitor!

  • Jsdgha

    I think people are upset because the movie fails on a fundamental level. The characters are flat with weak motivations and continually act like idiots (like the *coward* who leaves the party to go back to the ship and ends up getting lost and later *voluntarily* pets an alien cobra). The script is a disaster, and it makes the movie feel shitty in spite of all the ideas. 

  • blkmrkt

    There were only 6 seasons of LOST…

    • http://www.facebook.com/kylejamespatrick Kyle James-Patrick

      One was split into two due to the writers strike. 
      TROLLOLOLOLOLOL

  • Guest

    Damon Lindelof’s writing is a study in raising your curiosity or imagination, yet ultimately never paying off whatsoever.
    I would prefer that he switched professions.

    • Spaz

      In LOST, it was also a study in character development. Sure, that wasn’t the case here, but give the man his due

  • http://www.facebook.com/jawalton1 Jonathan A. Walton

    I enjoyed the blatant dump taken on people who (I’m guessing) gave into the hype monster and where disappointed. 

  • Ratt

    Just for a change… I really like the movie. I didn’t have trouble understanding character motivations, I found the philosophical concepts that were explored to be layered and interesting, and I thought Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender both gave excellent, engaging performances.

    I thought that where the movie went wrong was that it tried to be too much like ‘Alien.’ It seemed like Scott wanted to make something more like 2001 or Blade Runner, but wanted to do it with a movie that looked more like Alien. Doing a quasi-prequel was probably the only way he could get it financed too. But the movie did bring this problem on itself.

    As for Damon Lindelhof, I think people are too quick to dismiss him. Yes, the ending to Lost was a huge disappointment, but he also gaves us several years of (mostly) engaging television. I like that he challenges an audience, which is something we seem to be adverse to.

    That being said, the movie didn’t hold up as well with the minor characters, probably because they were designed to be victims 1-10, which is a concept I find frustrating with horror movies in general. But I like that this movie doesn’t have hollywood “hypercharge” syndrome. Even though most of the characters are scientists doesn’t mean they’re all super geniuses, and sometimes scientists do stupid things, they’re people, not androids.

    I think if this movie had come out in 1979, instead of “Alien,” people would think it was amazing. But these days a movie has to be either Sci-fi Action or Tree-of-Life-art-house. To reverse my previous statement, if Blade Runner came out today people would pick it apart like they’re trying to do with this movie. Food for thought.

  • ScubbaBubbaDubbaZeebba

    Fuck these two mellow teenage girls with beards…Give us Plinkett review.

    • Guest

       You…know the guy on the left is Plinkett, right? His opinions are Plinkett’s opinions.

  • Daniel

    The most interesting thing about audience reaction to Prometheus is that the truly enthusiastic responses are very, very limited.

    I could be wrong, but as far as I can tell most people hate it, some say “Well, it’s very flawed and it’s got problems and a lot of it is just f*cking stupid, but at least it’s not as bad as Attack of the Clones”, while others take it up a notch and utter thus: “It’s pretty good, so I don’t really understand all the whining”. BUT, only about seven people have said “It’s awesome”.

    Mike and Jay seem to gravitate between the second and third of those two reactions. And they, like so many of the half-way fans, base their sporadic praise on the fact that so many people truly despise it. Jay implies that in a world where movies such as Jack and Jill are possible, we should be grateful for something like Prometheus. But that is just silly, because what Jay doesn’t realize is that Prometheus is merely the big-budget sci-fi equivalent of Jack and Jill.

    There are many, many people out there who for some god-forsaken reason continue to give the Star Wars prequels top marks. Only a tiny minority of people are thus-far giving Prometheus a similar glowing recommendation. It’s still early days for Prometheus, but I expect the reactions will remain as such. As well they should. Prometheus is at least equally as insulting as The Phantom Menace, and in Red Letter Media terms I’m stating that as a fact.

    What I mean by that is that most of Plinkett’s criticism of The Phantom Menace is equally applicable to Prometheus. For one single example: the three-way lightsaber duel at the end of TPM is totally uninteresting, despite its rigorous choreography and impressively understated CGI, because at that stage we couldn’t care less about the three characters involved. It’s exactly the same when Noomi Rapace is in the medical pod in Prometheus, the ONE MOMENT that all the semi-fans of the movie agree is terrific; to me, it was just one in a two-hour spate of yawns because I didn’t know enough about her character to care if she got rid of that uninteresting squid-alien or not. (And incidentally, after she removes the beast and locks it in the medical room, why the f*ck didn’t she at any point feel the need to mention to another crew member “By the way, you see that door over there? Well, don’t open it, because inside that room is a vicious, snarling monster that I just had to rip out of my uterus.”)

    Worst. Film. In. Years.

    • Guest

        “Jay implies that in a world where movies such as Jack and
      Jill are possible, we should be grateful for something like Prometheus.
      But that is just silly, because what Jay doesn’t realize is that
      Prometheus is merely the big-budget sci-fi equivalent of Jack and Jill.”

      I had to stop reading right there. That is a stupid, stupid, STUPID
      statement. Jack and Jill is not a film. It’s a product. It was made for
      cynical reasons and no concern for quality was made. The point being
      made in this episode is that when the majority of films coming out are
      like Jack and Jill, it is unwise to waste negative energy on an
      ambitious movie like Prometheus, even if the final results are flawed
      and yes, disappointing. You can disslike the film, but calling in the “Worst. Film. In. Years.” means you are discrediting all the work that thought that was put into it, even if the results were muddy, and that it is worse than cheap romantic comedies and horror films that are made with no attention to anything but how much money they’ll make opening weekend.

      • Evilpossessed666

         I guess I’m not alone int he opinion that TO BE a critic you have to have seen THOUSANDS of films or else?? how the fuck do you make up your criteria to evaluate?? If you have only been exposed to a small number of comercial products – successes and failures- you can’t get the big picture by trying to see behind the door throu the key-hole.  Worst.Film.in.years.??? who says so?? the guy that has watched 200 films in the last 2 years? I’m intended to accept that ‘it is just a regular movie’ from the guy that saw 20000 movies in the last 5 years

        • Guest

           What the hell are you trying to say? Who are you saying it to?

      • Daniel

        “Jack and Jill is not a film. It is a product.”

        Yes. And so is Prometheus. It’s both a Alien prequel and a stand-alone film; i.e. it has a built-in fanbase but at the same time we can do what it wants with it. But it’s also not really a stand-alone film, as nothing about this film will make the slightest bit of sense until you have spent more money to see the sequels. And as film possibly won’t be successful, let’s do a blitzkrieg media marketing campaign, highlighting all these facts at once.

        Admittedly Prometheus doesn’t have any product placement. But EVERYTHING ELSE about the film (script, performances, direction, respect for the target audience, respect for the otherwise audience) is more or less on the same level. Prometheus is the sci-fi Jack and Jill. I honestly stand by that statement, and some fellow armchair warrior with no argument (you) is hardly going to change my mind.

        “You can disslike the film, but calling in the “Worst.
        Film. In. Years.” means you are discrediting all the work that thought
        that was put into it.”Perhaps not to quite the same level, but SOME work went into Jack and Jill from the crew. Production design, set-construction, cinematography etc. But the end result is the equally insulting to the audience. Should I refrain from criticising Prometheus (totally ridiculous and ultimately useless mush) just because some talented people spent time constructing sets and animating CGI? By that same token, I suppose I shouldn’t criticise The Phantom Menace either?And you dare to call me “stupid, stupid, STUPID”?! Learn what a principal is before you do.

        • Guest

           If Prometheus were really a cheap cash-in flick on the level of a movie like Jack and Jill, it would have been called “Alien: The Beginning” or something equally obvious and it wouldn’t have been filled with attempts at religious and philosophical themes. The Alien vs. Predator movies are cheap grade-z crap. Prometheus clearly has higher artistic aspirations, regardless of if you liked the results. You’re being very thick-headed and simplistic.

          • Daniel

             No, the fact that YOU say “If Prometheus were really a cheap cash-in flick on the
            level of a movie like Jack and Jill, it would have been called “Alien:
            The Beginning” or something equally obvious and it wouldn’t have been
            filled with attempts at religious and philosophical themes…” shows that YOU’RE being very “thick headed and simplistic”. You think that just because Prometheus isn’t called “Alien: The Beginning” shows that there is nothing whorish about this thing? The marketing clearly identified it as some sort of Alien precursor (as Mike and Jay demonstrate in this review) and Ridley and co have said as much many times. But at the same time, the movie is very far removed from the world of Alien. They wanted to DIRECTLY attract the fanbase of the Alien series while being lazy (a prequel means having rules to follow) creating something entirely different! That doesn’t make the film itself bad (the script, acting, direction, sub-par CGI and general uninterested tone do that) but it does demonstrate the sleazy, money-grubbing nature of the enterprise.

            As for the “attempts at religious and philosophical themes”, that indicates to me that you have very low standards, considering what the film actually does with these themes.

            Someone could argue that Jack and Jill is above the average Adam Sandler movie because it penetratingly examines the nature of the modern American family, and is the first comedic satire on the subject of Gemellology, but I’d have about as much respect for that argument as I would for your defense of Prometheus’ precious themes.

          • Guest

             Forget about Prometheus for a second and analyze yourself. Look at these walls of text. You don’t care to hate on the movie, you care to win this pathetic argument. And I’m sorry, as someone who was completely indifferent towards the movie, you’ve lost simply because you try again and again to rationalize your childish behavior. Had you paid attention to what Jay and Mike were saying about exaggerating. It’s not about the film or your opinion; that shit is trivial. It’s about your behavior, son. You need to grow up. Here’s your lunch pale. Now go to school.

    • Guest

       You. Are. Hopeless.

  • Later

    Feels like you guys put kids gloves on with this movie. There was a lot of idiocy in this movie that you just ignored. Things like a woman having her own surgical suite which is only calibrated for men, taking off helmets just because the atmosphere is breathable on an alien planet,  a 17 man crew to meet aliens full of only scientists, the main character stabbing herself with 5+ syringes of anonymous pain killers and still getting around, villian with no motivation for just randomly poisoning a crew member with alien gunk to just see what happens, biologist trying to pet some horrible penis/vagina snake after being horrified by dead engineer corpses, and last thing that comes to my head the guy who has access to the map at hand that is being made gets lost when he leaves early. I just can’t think of the movie as being smart in anyway when there are these kinds of stupid things just littered across it’s entire length. In no way the worst movie in the world, but certainly not a good one.

    • Jimmy

      - The surgical pod was intended for Weyland to heal him and save him should anything go wrong on the voyage. 
      - There were armed characters there for defensive purposes, but Shaw dismissed them because it was “a scientific expedition.” (Character being stupid, not script being stupid)
      - David poisoned Charles in order to test if alien infections were contagious or if they could be communicated through the air, to make sure it was safe to bring Weyland into the space ship.

      The other points don’t make as much sense, granted. If I were on an alien planet / space ship I’d keep the helmet on as a precaution unless the atmosphere were to change suddenly, or just as a hardhat in case some structure crumbled on top of me. 

      • ryan braun

        The surgical pod was in Vickers’ private escape pod. To say that it was calibrated for men only because of Weyland is a stretch. Why would such an advanced piece of tech be calibrated for only one sex? Because Lindelof wrote this: wouldn’t it be cool if the medical pod wasn’t calibrated for a c-section and she had to do the surgery manually?

        • Guest

           It’s a movie.

          • Red_Castle

            I’m over it.

          • Guest

            Then leave this page and get laid, sir.

          • Red_Castle

            Ok, and I’ll send your mom home in time for her to make your lunch for school.

          • Guest

            Oh SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

            Tell her I want tuna salad, a Milky Way, and vile of her love juices when you’re done.

          • Red_Castle

            A vial of her vile love juices. Got it. Btw, she says chocolate bars are unhealthy, so it’s an apple for you. Sorry, I tried.

          • Guest

             Tell that cunt I told her to go fuck herself. And between you and me, she’s on her period right now. That’s why she’s all wet and desperate for some dick, no matter how small (not that you have a small penis; I’m sure it’s large). But try to work around that. When she bleeds it looks a lot like that dumb black goo from Prometheus.

      • zeitguest

        –presumably if surgical pods exist, software for both males and females are available and come standard because it is assumed it will be used to treat human beings – like, it isn’t a futuristic misogynistic society where only men get the good medical care… what, was it all running on that ipod inside the tube, it was only a 16gb and Weyland wouldn’t pay the extra money for the 32gb so oh no guess we only have room the male stuff on here? Like, he chose his daughter to run the mission, his existence is secret to everyone else, and he’s depending on her to take care of everything while he’s in coldsleep… he would go OUT OF HIS WAY to to ensure this person his mission depends on CAN’T access the otherwise easily available medical care?

        –The owner and go-getting daughter who run the universe’s most ginormous powerful rich corporation plan a mission to another planet to save the super-important owner’s life and meet God. They’ll put together a team of professionals who each have their job to do, but, having gone to all the trouble of selection and transporting them a gagillion miles with all their gear, if the archeology specialist tells the security specialists to do something, sure, everybody do what she says, not what was previously planned. Like on a playground, some character says “I call _____” and that’s what goes apparently. The woman in charge doesn’t dress down Shaw for pretending she’s in charge, she doesn’t ask the security detail WTF are you still doing here… etc.

        –The android was TESTING the Black Goo to make sure it is SAFE for Weyland? Seriously? By removing his helmet, smearing it on his hands (making himself a great carrier of any contamination), taking it out of containment on board (just in case he had secretly decontaminated himself unbeknownst to the audience), and even putting it in a human being that has the run of the ship… ie by creating AT LEAST as dangerous a situation ON BOARD THE PROMETHEUS as exists on the alien ship without any knowledge of what will result, he’s testing to ensure it is safe? That kind of testing? How do you test to make sure Weyland doesn’t get contaminated by contaminating him 5 or 6 different ways?

  • Evilpossessed666

    Yeah, well the ending of this HITB  is the proof that the theory that was popularized in the underground afew months ago IS TRUE. ?Recession like in the ’30s? no way – this time we’ll do it over 4 or 6 years and they will never know what fucked their butts!

  • Cyvaris

    My feeling on walking out of the theater. 
    This looked awesome and was really well directed.
    God the writing was shit.

  • Daniel

    I think that The Phantom Menace is popping up a lot in Prometheus discussions not because this film is that bad (nothing could be that bad, except, possibly, for Cool World), but because the letdown is that bad. For people who deeply feel aesthetics and story as connections to their youth, films can be very important. Camus said “A man’s work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover, through the detours of art, those two or three great and simple images in whose presence his heart first opened.” George Lucas shat on what was one of the last simple triggers to that place for people raised in my generation. I think the promise of Ridley Scott, one of the greatest visual stylists in sci-fi, returning to the genre for the first time in decades was something really fun to anticipate. And then to tack on the issues it promised to deal with (Could life have been seeded on earth? Have extraterrestrials visited earth in our past? Is it possible that humanity has been monitored or tampered with by a more powerful intelligence? What if that intelligence was indifferent? Or worse, malevolent?), all of it presented with the kind of scope and wow now possible with all of the advances made in special effects… how could you not be psyched beyond belief? 

    But we all got Lindelof’d. He’s an advertising genius posing as a storyteller. The amount of carelessness involved in his writing is really cynical. When, at the end of Prometheus, the lead character essentially re-asks the same questions posed in the trailer and advanced marketing  material, promising they will be answered in a sequel if we’ll just wait a little bit longer and spend some more money, I felt conned. 

  • MatthewMelange

    As far as a director coming back to a genre or franchise, I guess Martin Campbell would be an answer, he directed goldeneye and then he directed casino royale about 11 years later
    although he’s always done action movies in a sense

    GoldenEye (1995)The Mask of Zorro (1998)Vertical Limit (2000)Beyond Borders (2003)The Legend of Zorro (2005)Casino Royale (2006)Green Lantern (2011) 

  • steve

    I’m letting the butt hurt flow through me. Look, the reason I was disappointing in Prometheus is the stunning promotion of the film promised a truly intelligent, unique new mythology that just happens to bookend with the original Alien films. Instead the film makes the same sloppy mistake that all prequel films seem to do, poorly and shamelessly re-hash the source material.

    I thought the first 45 minutes were great, then the film seemed to chicken out and revert to horror schlock, abandoning any creative ideas it proposed in the first half. If Scott truly wanted to make a monster movie that was tied to the Alien franchise, why bring in a bunch of run-of-the-mill monsters when you’ve got face-huggers and xenomorphs?

  • Blackingfactory

    “Why was he in old man make-up” LOL!

  • http://www.facebook.com/alex.b.banos Alex Banos

    John McTiernan returning to Die Hard is an example of a director coming back to a series after some time and it being successful. 

    Yup. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/olaf2046 Olaf Johnson

    It wasn’t Ridley Scott that screwed up Promotheus it was that idiot writer Lindellost!

  • Guest

    Jay, I don’t know what corner of the web you’re on, but where I’m coming from, all I hear is, “fuck you if you didn’t enjoy it.”  Three days in and I’m already feeling like the hate for this movie is vastly overstated.

    • Guest

       Just look through these pathetic comments and you’ll see where all the hate is.

      • Guest

        And if you took a stroll through Tumblr and Twitter, you’d find the exact opposite.

        • Guest

           Guest #2 is right. Scroll through these ridiculous, bitchy comments. On the internet, the hate always outweighs the praise. Anyone who’s a regular mouse potato knows that.

  • Dontkoppout

    Why does Ripley have a cat? Why doesn’t the Alien take the cat? what was that dead thing with the elephant face? Why is there a guy wearing a hawaiian shirt? why doesn’t anyone get laid since it’s a horror/sci-fi film? What does the Nostormos crew actually do on the ship? Why can’t the crew sometimes run the ship? Why is the ship named after a Joseph Conrad novel? Why doesn’t Ripley get any real dialogue until until it’s over ten minutes into the film?

    • Legolas

       I see what you are saying but one really starts nitpicking a movie when it somehow managed to piss you off …

      • Dontkoppout

        Oh, actually I love the first Alien; these are just unanswered questions one could asked themselves after first viewing the first Alien. And not knowing these answers doesn’t take away anything from the film.

        • Guest

           “And not knowing these answers doesn’t take away anything from the film.”Having someone throw up their hands and walk away from you doesn’t mean you’ve won the argument.

          • Dontkoppout

            Were we having an argument? 

        • Legolas

           Yes I got that :) But these are questions ending with a ? not with a ?!!. Dont you ever saw a movie where you felt like screaming questions at the screen?

    • Guest

       Why are none of those things you pointed out major plot elements?

  • mliF

    Guys, you disappoint me. The movie was bad and EASILY could have been torn to shreds far beyond what you stated. You went soft on this one, I’m guessing out of respect for Ridley Scott. Still though, it’s disappointing to see you not be yourselves (or who you play on camera…)
    This movie was awful. Solid acting performances are undermined by a preposterous premise, prepubescent philosophising and gaping inconsistencies. Why was an archaeologist (or palaeontologist?) also adept at surgery, neuroscience, anaesthesia and genetic biology? Being called “Dr” doesn’t mean you’re a skilled polymath, particularly not one with a working knowledge of the specialist surgical equipment market. Why do creatures with exactly our DNA look radically different to us? And why are their neurons not subject to autolysis after 2 millennia?
    Very few of the characters’ choices make any sense, from the first character on screen using himself as a channel to propagate life, rather than creating a chemical gumbo which would achieve the same thing, to their decision as polymath scientists to handle alien pathogens without protective clothing, to one character’s decision to play with an alien that looked like a cross between a vagina and a cobra (people other than their regular handler should think twice before playing with either) that was hissing at him. The characters acted randomly, with no clear motive and often no conceivable motive, although assuming the Engineers’ belief in a religion would explain some of their psychopathic murdering, blithe genocide, overcomplicated architecture and the suicide at the beginning.
    However, basic concepts haven’t been thought through. Somebody here suggested that we were to be destroyed because we’d reached the installation and woken the sleeping engineer, but of course they’d been delayed in destroying us by 2000 years, so that can’t be the reason. And the brilliant philosophising defending the concept of a god – “They made us, but who madethem” is easily and immediately answered. Maybe they evolved? Or their creator’s creator evolved. We know that RNA can form spontaneously from assembled polymers so why not? Just because you can engineer biosystems doesn’t mean you haven’t evolved from chemicals. The film seems to argue that all life currently on Earth was seeded simultaneously (if not, the human race needs to have been inserted into an existing evolutionary biosystem that already contained bunnies and Neanderthals and such), therefore all them fossils we’ve been digging up that we thought preceded each species’ common ancestors were also put there by these nutty bipolar aliens. Seeing a strand of human DNA floating about in a primordial river, I was reminded of John Cleese’s line in The Life Of Brian – “Where’s the foetus going to gestate? You gonna to keep it in a bag?”. You can’t just chuck some DNA in a river and expect a human to form underwater.
    A Director’s Cut might make some of this clearer, but it wouldn’t get around some of the crummy science and bizarre character motives. Take the geologist, for instance, who gets lost trying to walk away from the search team after they find an alien (what was he expecting?) dead by a door. His helmet is melted to his face by alien (hydroflouric?) acid blood. He later drags himself back to the ship motivated by either vengeance or zombieism (the lifegiving goo has different effects each time, natch – if you’re a chap it turns you into a piñata, a contortionist zombie or makes your leg fall off, but if you’re a lady, exactly the same goo will leave your DNA untouched but it’ll reactivate your withered reproductive system and cause an 8 pound squid to grow inside you within 24 hours with no baby bump, extreme hunger or pain, which you can detach from your spinal column with no injury via a hefty tug) and starts throwing punches, Queensbury Rules. He was only in that position because his mate decided to play with Gynocobra and his plight went undetected because trillionaire heiress ice queen Theron suddenly melted and hopped into bed with the ship’s captain, because he explained the provenance of his accordion and accused her of being an android, leaving the bridge unattended.
    Rather than try to hail the stranded men the next morning, and play the footage from their helmet cams when they didn’t respond, our now post- coital heroes “suit up” and charge back into the temple accompanied by an android who’s stopped following their instructions and taken to experimentally pushing any buttons he comes across in there, none of which bothers them.
    This android, incidentally, must have a very sticky head, because after discombobulation it remains exactly in situ despite the circular ship he’s in crashing, and making several rotations on the ground. Come to think of it, everything’s still in situ so maybe it’s just another egregious lapse in logic.
    By this point, what could have been visually atmospheric sets just seem to be illogical. Why did the Engineers build a military facility out of heavy and hard-to-clean patterned, die-cast steel? Why have weapons with the ability to seed or destroy a planet been left with no automated security? Why can the characters touch light? Why is the ship’s computer activated by playing a flute? Why was there no flute holder for the flute since it was integral? Is it because the Engineers each have their own flute?
    As you’re watching this film, you’re initially giving its oddities the benefit of the doubt, and it’s only afterwards that the full horror of what you just saw starts to sink in. It seems inconceivable that good PR or threat of personal injury weren’t behind some of the fawning reviews I’ve seen and Wossy’s two word review “Oh dear” rather sums it up for me, rather than Elliot Noble’s more misleading effort which can be found above.
    It’s a silly film, best avoided. If he’s going to do the same to Blade Runner, I may just have to start leaving copies of the original in hotel rooms like Giedeons bibles.
    The dreams sequence. David can watch Shaw’s dreams. Amazingly this technology also cuts from scene to scene like a movie camera…Please. No one dreams like that.How did they randomly find the temple so quick? This is an entire planet surface!Why was the landing so soft and easy?Why does Fifield start screaming at Shaw like that? Calm down mate..jeez..And later on with an Alien cobra he is cool as ice.Why does that moron Buddy Holly scientist try and touch the cobra alien? not once….not twice…but 3 TIMES!!!Why on earth would a scientist remove their helmets in a possibly infected temple? I am just a civilian and even I understand the concept of VIRUS CONTAMINATION ON AN ALIEN FRIGGIN PLANET. They then have the cheek to talk about Shaw’s strict quarantine fail-safe procedures…pleaseWhat does this Black Goo do exactly? Accelerate worm growth? Infect crew members? Cause pregnancies? Create life? Pick one and stick to it pleaseWhy does Ford straight away start giving the head electricity for kicks? Do they not have procedures? What is this fun with Frankenstein?Why does the head explode?Why are the medical staff so damn careless with a possibly disease ridden and bacteria infested decapitated head? I swear they didn’t even wear plastic gloves.How did Shaw know the Jockey was heading to Earth to destroy it? Pretty big assumption from a couple of punches thrown.How does David know the Space Jockey is heading to kill Shaw on the Medical Bay?How does Shaw know her baby will attack the Jockey?i was really amazed that Shaw has this ‘baby’ but fails to mention the horrific and super extraordinary situation she had just been through. ”oh hey guys, ha ha, nearly forgot. FYI, you won’t believe what just happened to me on the way here”….”i just gave birth to an alien..” ”yeah, i know CRAZY right, considering i had sex only 10 BLOODY HRS AGO!!”-The whole Vickers’ Star Wars ‘Father’ line…-The ‘bet’ between the co-pilots was cringe-worthyHUGE ONE…How the hell does Shaw walk after abdominal surgery? If abdominal muscle is cut you can NOT walk, the muscle needs to be sewn back…But no, a few staples and she is good to go…Why does the tentacle creature have tentacles from the evil Planet X?Why do the space jockeys allow any old tramp to walk in an use their security systems?Why does the space jockey want to kill, kill and kill…You’d think an advanced race would be a little civilised?What was the point of Guy Pearce as Weyland? Why was he even there? So he just assumed this temple would contain a fountain of life…..right….I guess he ‘chose to believe’ too…f**k me…
    Honestly there are so many more I can’t even write them all…

    • mliF

      Sorry, the post didn’t format correctly. Apologies for the wall of text but there are good point in there.
      :P

    • Guest

       “You went soft on this one, I’m guessing out of respect for Ridley Scott.”I’m pretty sure they went “soft” on this ones for ALL THE REASONS THEY TALK ABOUT IN THEIR DISCUSSION. Jesus, the people that leave brick-of-text comments on this site are thick.

    • http://www.facebook.com/dawaltco Dylan Awalt-Conley

       tl;dr

      except that I did, some, and you don’t seem to understand what constitutes a good movie

    • Hells_outhouse

       What I don’t get, which nobody seems to have asked (I haven’t read every comment here so maybe they did) is why these aliens would leave a road map to their secret military installation of death and horror all over the place for people to find? 

      • zeitguest

        Hey it’s the same as when we gave the russians the map to all of our missile silos and realtime gps on our submarines during the cold war so they’d know where our best weapons for killing them were – that’s just common sense, right?

        I mean, what were they supposed to do, give humans directions to a planet somewhere ELSE loaded with automated monitoring systems that would send an alert to you so you’d know if your experiment achieved spaceflight?

        That would be crazy compared to getting humans directly to the planet with you and all your stuff on it. How else would they get a chance to interfere with whatever your plans are? Like, does Dr Evil put Austin Powers in a DIFFICULT to escape death trap? You don’t get it Scott, you just don’t get it.

    • guest

      monkeys carry about 99% of the same dna as us and are harry beasts that look nothing like humans

      • guest

        this is also the first chapter of a longer story, itll all be explained in time…this is why ridley scott said it wasnt a direcct prequel leading right into Alien…

        • The Dude

          The black goo is actually the black oil virus from the X Files, right? And there was a huge undergound ship in Antarctica. So I suspect one could produce a tie-in along those lines.

      • Jude

        99%, yes. 

        But the movie made it clear that the Engineers were 100% genetic match – that they were humans, entirely. 

        I’d assume they meant it to be that they were progenitors and similar, but that certainly wasn’t how the movie presented it. 
        The 100% match doesn’t make any sense, whatsoever, to what the Engineers were. 

    • LazarusDurden

      Epic rant…  Epic.  I was gonna post a few of these but you’ve covered just about all of it.

    • Jude

      You’re right on the head of it, mate. 
      The motivations and plotting made no sense, the supposed science and lack of any scientific method or procedure, just all so badly done. 

      Responding to one of the responders here about this being ‘part of a larger story’, that can be valid for a few things – such as the Engineers wanting to wipe out man. Sure, maybe there’s more to that story, a reason. That’s the plot, so sure, we can go by not having any idea of the motivation yet for their genocidal reasoning. And sure, religious issues may explain architecture or procedure or genocide. But the motivations and actions are just bloody impossible to explain for most of it. It’s just cartoonish watching the last Engineer going all Terminator on Shaw. Motivation to wipe out mankind is one thing, but blind fury to beat to death every single human they lay eyes on is another. Shouldn’t he be following his mission by trying to get another of the ships he surely knew was there? Or report to someone? Or something?

      Further yet, the themes and philosophies they tried to touch on were just amateurish in execution – god and faith in times of science, or fighting god with forbidden knowledge. They named the movie after these themes, and barely explored them. I kept waiting for something plot-significant to occur in relation to these, only to great disappointment. Had they found one Engineer that gave them the secret to fighting their weapons and paid for it with his life, that’d have been a great way to weave the theme into the plot. But no. A few hamfisted references to Shaw’s Cross necklace and Old Man Guy Pearce talking about Prometheus some more for no reason. And why have a known young actor as an old man if he’s only going to be old? There are old man actors out there. One could assume instead that he’d maybe be younger or rejuvinated or something, but no. I guess maybe they really wanted to hire Guy Pearce so they could put him in the 2023 TED talk video for the Virals. 

      My last big anger is the poor construction/exposition to much of the film. The scenes didn’t flow together well or fit nicely; nothing was smooth or organic. Everything felt disjointed and in spurts. Alien was a horror movie that took place in space, but this was never sure if it wanted to be SciFi or Horror. The Horror parts were good, but too few. And much of the action was without connection to these people. All the redshirts with pistols and shotguns – who were they? It didn’t seem to be that many people on the ship aside from the science and deck crew at first, but then theres all these guys getting killed by reanimated corpses and medical people getting beat by pregnant shaw, and all I could think was, “Who are these people? When did this sparse science ship get such a large crew of disposable grunts?” All emotional attachment was absent watching them die, and the horror lessened as the feeling of isolation and loneliness/claustrophobia was lost; one just got too much a feeling that this was actually a large-scale expedition if it had so many people on board that we hadn’t even seen or met everyone by the third act. 

      • Dontkoppout

        This is also too long. Re-post the concise edition please. 

        • Guest

           You should take a look at your own name sometime.

          • guest

             You should go fuck yourself.

    • Dontkoppout

      This is too long. Re-post the concise edition please. 

    • Juular

      1500+ words. Bravo, man. Bravo.

  • http://twitter.com/Jesseraygarza Jesse Garza

    What in hell was that ending?? Great review guys! The ending to this review really made me think. It was magical, mystical, mind bending, and confusing. Great job!

  • Dontkoppout

    Also it’s probably a good sign there is such lack of fanfare for Prometheus; we just have to wait ten or fifteen years before we say, “people just didn’t get it then! Ridley Scott’s such genius! Have you seen White Squall yet?”

    • Dontkoppout

      btw, my friend told me this comment was so meta. I killed him.

      • Guest

         You’re friend’s a piece of shit.

  • Shauniebabes

    Prometheus is Plinkett material, are you going soft ?

    • Guest

       Did you watch the review?

      • SnowBall

        I watched it as well, and I got the following out of the review (and I spent 90% of my time listening VERY carefully for negative shredding): ‘ Was not that baad ‘ and ‘ Yeah, sure, go see it.. it has some flaws but is spectacularrr ‘ And overall a good, or almost good movie.

        Yeah right..
        They went hella soft on it mate..

  • Martincliffordparis

    No mention of Fassbender’s performance?
    Mike, it seemed like you phoned this one in.
    Sleepy? Upset?
    I really enjoyed how you served as the negative response to Prometheus.
    Jay, thank you very much for 2 things:
    1) the hyperbole comment.
    2) sticking up for Prometheus.

    • BenjaminSantiago

      I think they gushed about Fassbender a bit in the X-Men: First Class review. I liked his performance a lot, but there are a lot of people not into ANOTHER bad robot.

      • Spaz

        Actually, they never mentioned him in that review either. I think RLM has a Fassbender problem

  • rwp80

    best ending to anything ever

    in fact, that’s how shawshank redemption should have ended

  • damnskippy

    I enjoyed it for what it was. Here’s a pretty good dissection of the less-obvious symbolism, which, I think, answers Jays question of what the ultimate point is:

    http://cavalorn.livejournal.com/584135.html 

    He may very well be overthinking the whole thing, but his theories fit the best I’ve seen so far.

  • http://twitter.com/darbyothrill Darbay

    I don’t know, I feel that the biggest issue with this movie was that characters actions were often stupid. Why did no one tell the Australian geologist and the biologist that there was a sillica storm? Why did no one notice they were gone until they all got back, despite having live video footage? Why did everyone leave their post when they had men in the field. Why didn’t they check the presumable video archive to see where they went after they died?

    Why did no one follow up on the woman screaming out of the room impregnated with an alien baby? Why did no one follow up on the alien birth?

    I just felt like the script was just messy and that the movie was just a mish mash of scenes. I didn’t hate this movie, but I can’t say that the script was good. I will agree that it was a great experience, the concept had a lot of promise, and visually it was outstanding, but it just wasn’t a good script.

  • Assmetheus

    I liked the part in the film, when that big ass starts chasing everyone. And all crew, the big ass, starts a insane gang bang.. really amazing visuals.

  • JustPassingby

    Prometheus, seems interesting, speaking by someone that really doesn’t like space monster movies, I am glad its more a very nice looking Si-Fi movie with a lot of questions that just happens to have people I don’t have to care about dying in the background

  • http://twitter.com/GhostOfSide3 Cody Billings

    Prometheus was a readd

    • SnowBall

      are you fourteen? your picture looks like it

  • Putte_roslund

    Filmaking ok. Science bullshit! Youre dumbing down people and misrepresantating science in a way that totaly destroys the movie for me. it’s just stupid

    • Derpsicle

       Right.  Like when the biologist on the crew, who presumably was brought there to handle first contact appropriately, responds to a clear threat display (hood pops open, organism starts hissing) by touching the organism.

      “It’s okay baby, it’s okay.”

      The who scene would have been fine if it was the grunt that was carrying the science shit who got lost and then thought it would be smart to touch a pissed off alien snake.  But not the fucking biologist.

      Or how the goddamn Geologist is the one who gets lost in the structure he’s live mapping with super advanced drones.

  • Sill

    Prometheus ROCKED

    • BenjaminSantiago

      The Geology Review says: PROMETHEUS ROCKS!

      • Guest

         Lame.

  • harrycarrybigfoot

    There are 6 seasons of Lost.

    • blastor138

       That’s the joke.  They said 7 when they know there’s really six.

  • http://twitter.com/NathanSandler Nathan Sandler

    A very interesting look at what it all means: http://cavalorn.livejournal.com/584135.html 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000271563280 Peter Sirkovich

    SIX seasons of lost

  • I like ants

    Lett’n your fanboy get in the way, eh, Jay? Which then makes Mike hold back, which you can see in  the show, ’cause you two are buds.

    Well, right on but the movie, not the visuals, and not some of the acting, are shit. 

    • Guest

      WOW. So now the nit-picking internet mentality applies to people judging movies? Fuck you.

    • Guest

       Do me a favor and tell your brain to stop projecting shit, okay? It’s kind of unsettling to think the human race deserves genocide because of people like you.

  • Spaz

    six seasons of lost?

  • Irishdugg

    I think a lot of people here just want to hate the movie. There’s a certain level of picking apart before it becomes senseless nitpicking and you just defeat the whole point of your criticism. Hell as Jay said, if it upsets you that much, there’s no hope for you.

    Another laughable thing is how everyone is chanting how they should “rip” more into it, as if to say its comparable to hollywood shlock, some kind of big pandering film to rake in the dollars. Since they’re film makers and know a whole fuckload more than most of you, I find the review entirely reasonable, and you should take that more into account before losing your shit.

    This film was not a stellar sci fi flick like Alien, but it was by no stretch a bad film. Getting your knickers in a twist and blubbering as hard as for something like Phantom Menace is ridiculous and it’s just becoming an unending hate bandwagon at this point.

    • blastor138

      “There’s a certain level of picking apart before it
      becomes senseless nitpicking and you just defeat the whole point of your
      criticism. Hell as Jay said, if it upsets you that much, there’s no
      hope for you.”

      It’s oh so ironic that the people responsible for the 70 minute, nitpicking reviews of the Star Wars prequels saying that you shouldn’t nitpick this movie even though it features stupid people doing stupid stupid things.

      Basically, they’re giving Scott on his flawed (but pretty to look at) prequel and ripping Lucas for his…possibly because Scott has actually made some movie they like besides Alien…who knows.

      • Guest

         You. Are. Hopeless.

      • blastor sucks

         And please learn the definition of “ironic”, you stupid twat.

        • comfortablesilence

          You are a bad guest.

          • Guest

             You’re a waste of sperm.

      • Guest

         I’m appalled by your lack of critical thinking.

  • Lazarus Durden

     This is how I felt half way through the movie:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41hpupcHrhI

  • Lazarus Durden

    No it’s a bad film.  I completely disagree with Jay.  There’s hope for
    me.  I saw Avengers and while I didn’t think it was the greatest thing
    since sliced bread it was an effective film.  Pacing was good, story was
    solid, each character had a purpose and didn’t overshadow the others. 
    And it was entertaining.

    Prometheus suffered from lazy writing, plot contrivance, and absolutely
    no authentic characters.  Forget all the problems with bending the
    bounds of realism for things we know to be true: i.e. you don’t just get
    up from having your stomach cut open and walk around, many of the
    character’s actions didn’t make any sense whatsoever.  And because
    of that none of them felt genuine.  I couldn’t suspend my disbelief and thus
    couldn’t connect with the film on an emotional level.  I simply didn’t care
    what happened. There was no investment.

    I really wanted to like this film, and if it was just a case of
    disagreeing with the creative direction Ridley took I’d state that, but
    this was just awful storytelling.  It failed on several basic levels and
    that’s the issue.

    • Jelly

      Prometheus is a great film.  Get better taste in movies.
      Prometheus had some of the most complex Science Fiction Characters to date in Shaw and David.  She had so many angles in comparison to Ripley, who was one dimentional in Alien and only became two dimensional (motherly aspect) in Aliens.

      Problem is it causes most people to thing, which they are afraid of.
      Battleship is playing down the hall, buddy.

      It had many subtle themes like Shaw not being able to
      conceive. faith. christmas time. divine birth. abortion. your aborted baby coming back to life
      to kill you. coming back to life.  xeno in crucifix position. invting angels guarding the urns. Engie
      hypersleep “sarcophagus” resurrection mummy supposedly to grant eternal
      life. dieing in a line – linear thinking. the whole opening sequenceYou have to see it twice just to take it all in.  Never mind the massive amazing beautiful sets.  And the fact that they used to many HR Giger conceptual art.  More than Alien.  He also designed two murals specifically for the film.  The Space Jockey Davinchi, and the Long Legged Xeno AlterAnyway 10/10 Amazing film with an amazing cast. 

      • http://www.facebook.com/toph1980 Christopher Fischer

        It had also some of the most pointless characters to date in pretty much everybody else LOL

        • Guest

          Some of the most pointless characters “to date”? As in “ever”? Now that’s a hyperbole if I ever saw one.

        • Ran

           Guess you’ve never seen all the pointless expendables in Alien and Aliens

      • Lazarus Durden

        There was nothing subtle about any of the themes you mentioned.  That was part of the problem.  When the actors have to tell you, the audience, the theme that’s a sign of bad writing.  “I choose to believe.”  Good for you.  “Well who made them?”  Really there scientist?  You’re jumping on board with that fallacious line of reasoning? 

        That’s the problem when you try to tackle the really big ideas in a film and you’re not careful.  Your characters sound like screenwriters rather then scientists.  They take on the author’s voice not their own.  It’s a sign of bad writing.

        That’s not even getting into everything that doesn’t make sense in the plot.  All the threads that are started and then just dropped for convenience.  There’s no connection between one action and then the next.  Things just happen.  Again a sign of bad writing.

        None of them, not one ever acted like a person with one, or multiple doctoral degrees.  None of them acted like this was the greatest find in the entire history of humanity.  There was no respect whatsoever for what they were dealing with, because if they’d acted that way, like scientists, then it would’ve been harder for the writers to come up with reasons to kill a lot of them.  And if you don’t have that then you don’t have drama so bad writer reasoning goes.

        When Fifield appeared as a heap of zombie death outside of the ship I knew we’d reached critical mass of bad writing.  “Must be time for another action beat,” I thought.  And it was.  They managed to kill off all the extras in the crew to make way for the third act.  Why did he turn into a zombie?  He was killed by acid to the face.  Does the acid make you into a zombie killing machine?  Does it make your body morph and grow now?  Why?  Wait I know: We need an action beat.  It’s convenience.

        Side Note: I appreciate you editing your post and removing the personal attacks.  It’s fine if you disagree with me, and I’m glad you’ve found a lot of things you like about the film.  It did have a lot of nice looking settings and I thought the CGI was subtle which is a good thing.  But for me the main part has to be story and believable characters.  We have different criteria is all.

    • Dreux

      You hear that, Jay? Lazarus is here to tell you that Prometheus is, IN FACT, a bad film.

      • Lazarus Durden

         Here I’ll give you something you’ll learn in any Intro to Philosophy Class.

        Statement of Fact: Something that has a verifiable truth value that can be proven true or false.  I.e. Prometheus is a bad film.  Here are the reasons why: A, B, C, D.  Then a debate occurs over the evidence presented usually in the form of a discussion.

        Statement of Opinion: Something that cannot be proven true or false.  Has limited to no truth value.  I.e. I like Prometheus!  It’s my favorite film!  No evidence is given as to why it’s a good film from an objective standpoint.  It’s purely personal.  I have no way of determining anything at all about the film itself, or frankly even if your statement is true.  You could be lying.  But it’s useless in a debate, or discussion because “I like Prometheus!” is the same as “I like Chocolate Ice Cream!”

        Also I’m sure Jay is fine with me disagreeing with him. 

        • guest

           No, you can objectively critique a film, based on our standards of film making. You may like an Ed Wood film, but is it a good movie? No, because it fails on every single level of film making to the point that it fails at working as a piece of passive escapism, because you’re too busy noticing the poor acting, the crumpling sets, and the fact that holy shit, that’s not Bela Lugosi. Got it, teacher?

          • Lazarus Durden

            Not sure who you’re replying to but if it’s to me you just proved my point.  You’re talking about a statement of fact. 

            Statement of Opinion: “I like Ed Wood!  It’s a great movie because I like it!”
            Statement of Fact: “Ed Wood is a horrible movie because of the poor acting, crumpling sets, etc based on the standards of film making.”

            Good to go, pupil?

          • Guest

             …That’s what he just said. And he’s not talking about Ed Wood the movie, he’s talking about the films of Ed Wood, the director. You did nothing but restate his point that films can have undeniable quality that transcends one’s opinion, based on our standards of film making.

            You’re the shittiest teacher I’ve ever seen. Way to cloud your common sense with your desperate need to save face.

          • Lazarus Durden

            No I merely pointed out the difference between a statement of fact and a statement of opinion.  One is an argument based on evidence, one doesn’t require it.  He gave a statement of fact.  That was my point in my original post.  I was trying to discern if he was agreeing with me, or arguing against my original post since this board isn’t well constructed to look at threads.

            Also the personal attacks don’t add anything to your point.  I don’t have any need to save face.  Just having a discussion in an online forum.  I don’t care if you agree with me.  Don’t care if I “lose” or “win” an argument.  I doubt I’d sway anyone here about anyone.  This is mental masturbation.   I’ll forget about it in less then a minute after I’m done with my post. 

          • Guest

             Clearly not, you keep coming back for more. Both of us misunderstood each other. You misunderstand my little joke for a serious confusion over fact and opinion, and then proceeded to “correct” me. I misunderstood your argument as trying to convince me that there you CAN’T judge a film objectively. We’re both morons. (But you started it. ha….ha…ha..)

          • Guest

             I think you’re both totally wrong. Good job, fuckbrains, nobody cares!

          • Lazarus Durden

             That would be a statement of opinion.

          • Guest

             I’m aware. Who’s teaching who now? I was making a joke about you telling Jay, flat out, that Prometheus IS a bad movie, which counts as a statement of fact. In reality, it was your opinion. You then took that joke to heart, I guess, and tried to educate me on exactly what I was poking fun at, when you were really just wasting your time. Congrats on that.

    • Guest

       Don’t “plot contrivance” and a lack of “authentic characters” fall under lazy writing?

  • Lilacjuno0515

    wow you guys are back??thats weird how did you go back there??I thought he was following you guys??

  • Lilacjuno0515

    Lol That was like a M.Night ending lol thought you really at his house??

  • Henoch88

    You can hear the denial in Jay’s voice.  Why wont they rip this piece of crap movie????

    • Ran

       Because it was a great film.  Over your head I guess.
      Not enough “PREDAˇORS” for you

    • Guest

       I don’t know about what “you” hear, but I hear an honest review. You seem like someone who’s common sense slid down the side of your mother’s leg the night you were conceived.

  • premiumcream

    God damnit you assholes.  I just spit my cereal all over my screen from seeing Mike’s face after he asks if there is a smoke monster.

    • Red_Giraffe

      Lol Yeah I choked on my water.

  • captain boners

    get off your lazy fucking ass and give us what we want you fat homo. nobody cares about half in the bag

  • http://www.facebook.com/toph1980 Christopher Fischer

    Ok, so if you get THAT upset about movies you should stop watching movies altogether? Let us not forget who gave us the famous 70 min Star Wars reviews ;)

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=888905572 Dee Majek

       About THIS movie, not any movie. About a well-made film with problems, as opposed to a horrible disaster at ever stage. “Again, a matter of opinion, but mine is right.” :D

    • Dereck

       If you get upset about a movie with actual ambition and effort put into it, than yes, you should stop watching movies because you clearly find more joy in trashing them than you do in watching them. Don’t try to call hypocrisy when you exaggerate their comments regarding people’s tendency to EXAGGERATE, in order to defend your tendency to exaggerate.

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  • North

    I missed the very end after not-ripley flew away, because I downloaded a cam copy to watch. While it was kinda fun to watch and guess at what was coming next, after it ended my only thought was “….wait…what?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mike-Findley/100003396770102 Mike Findley

    Love the Little Rascals Theme at the end. Half in the Bag is pretty much the best review show on the web.

  • Lucas

    I appreciate the perspective you guys put to this movie. It helped me cool down and understand why I didn’t like it, and why others might. Thanks guys, great as always.

  • Whaaaa?!

    I thought of a director who revisited old work and it turned out successfully. Alfred Hitchcock and the remake of The Man Who Knew Too Much with Jimmy Stewart.

  • SteveRudzinski

    Prometheus is a hodgepodge of sub plots, none of which are fully thought out.  Visually it’s amazing, but it’s a very poor script. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

    Let me get this straight.

    If a scifi movie makes you rant about your disappointment, you should stop watching movies?

    Is that for real a thing that was said by RLM?

    • Jimmy

      As it’s been said before, the context of that statement is “if THIS movie” gets you up in arms — not just any sci-fi movie in general. 

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

        “If you’re one of those people that gets that upset over this movie,
        you should probably stop watching movies. In a world of Jack and Jill’s
        and What to Expect When You’re Expecting and movies like that, an
        ambitious but incredibly flawed sci-fi film, if that’s what gets you
        horribly upset, then there’s no hope for you”

        Ambitious but incredibly flawed sci-fi film.

        Guys he’s invoking Jack and Jill. As if a movie has to be that bad to merit anger at fumbling the material.

        I think the movie is beautiful. I think Fassbender was fantastic and almost worth watching the movie.But the script was horrendous, only two characters were more than 2 dimensional, and there were holes all over. No I don’t mean I “don’t get it duh i need it spoon fed”, I mean plot holes.What drove it home for me was watching The Avengers right after. Despite a huge cast, I cared about them, and it wasn’t a stupid script. The Avengers turned out to be a smarter movie than Prometheus, and that’s what startled me into realizing my acceptance of Prometheus was actually weak justification and apologia.

        • guest

           Oh for fuck’s sakes…they were referring specifically to this film. A film that people attempted to make as well as they could. Common sense, where have you gone?

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

             The context is clear. He was referring to this movie and then generalized it to ambitious but incredibly flawed sci fi films. Those were the words he used and he knew what he was saying.

            If you think that this interpretation flies against your conception of common sense, then maybe you should consider that you just might agree with Jay less than you think.

            I’ll leave you to ponder whether Ed Wood’s films deserve a free pass from criticism just because they were ambitious but incredibly flawed sci fi films. If the special effects on Plan 9 had been as good as Prometheus, I suspect it would have many defenders on just that count. Defenders perhaps as confrontational and rude as you.

            As eye candy and atmosphere it’s fine. But I expected more substance from Ridley Scott and instead got cotton candy. I think it’s ok for me to be disappointed and to say so.

          • guest

             See, bringing up Ed Wood is not a fair comparison. His movies were awful in every sense, and their only appeal was his ambition and his passion. Prometheus has that ambition and passion, but actual talent to back it up. It gets some things right, and what it gets right it does as well as I’ve ever seen in a film.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

             I agree with you. I wasn’t bringing up Ed Wood to suggest thi movie is as bad.

            I brought it up to point out that the criteria articulated by Jay are silly. He engaged in just the kind of hyperbole he seems to be sneering at earlier in the video.

            Just trying hard doesn’t give you a free pass. You’ll get criticized, and if you’re a brilliant filmmaker and only get it half-right, with the rest being cheap lazy copouts, getting raked through the coals is to be expected.

            The half they got right was awesome enough that I give it an extra star, so it’s 6/10 for me. Meaning I don’t think it’s TERRIBLE and just as bad as ep 1. It means I expected more from Ridley Scott and in my opinion he doesn’t get mulligans. Not at this pro level. Jay is wrong on “just trying” being enough to get a wink and a wave on the parts he phoned in.

          • Guest

            You wrote several replies and you’re still no closer to having any understanding of what they’re articulating in the video. Congrats on that.

          • guest

             You’re incredible. I can’t tell if you’re thinking too much into what they said, or not enough. It’s simple, kids:

            Express disappointment like an adult, and don’t rationalize your childish behavior. Stop focusing on the details and look at the big picture (which you seem less and less capable of doing with each reply you make). It’s THAT simple.

          • Plonkette

             Meandering plot.  Boring characters.   First five minutes of the movie completely ruin all mystery and tension. 

            This was a bad movie.    Ya it looked beautiful.  So did avatar, and that was a bad movie too.   

            Im really surprised that jay and mike give this a pass.  It was the most disappointing thing since plinkettes son.  

            The trailer was disingenuous.   This was not a horror movie.  This was a boring sci-fi b-movie.

            Charlize theron didn’t even do naked pushups!! She was in that weird underwear. 

            This is about as deep as the matrix sequels, which pretended to be deep by being full of shit.

          • MattintheCrown

            Speaking of, Plinkett needs to get to work on those.  Boy were those a bunch of shit.

    • Guest

       They’re not saying NO sci fi film is worth ranting about. They’re saying THIS sci fi film is not worth ranting about.

    • Ran

       It’s an AMAZING film.
      Haters are idiots, who can’t even make a list of their own “good” films or they would be destroyed by their own standards.

      • Guest

        I’m sorry my capacity to dislike something for entirely rational reasons upsets you.

  • Frankendurften

    Yeah… I mean…

    My issue was all the goofy stuff that happened.  Like the supposed “Biologist” who approached a clearly hostile alien with a cobra hood, that’s spitting at him like Steve Irwin, or when the giant wheel crushes one person, but the other person gets away by doing a really quick duck and roll.  Or when the Geologist with the super advanced probes is the one who gets lost, even though he’s in constant contact with the ship that’s live mapping their position in the ruin.  I mean, it’s just a dumber movie than other one’s Ridley Scott has made.

    • gcbain

       Agreed, these were my main problems as well. Also the fact that Elizabeth Shaw has her stomach STAPLED closed (I thought this was the future…?) after having her abdominal muscles sliced open and is seen REPELLING DOWN A CLIFF SIDE VIA ROPE LIKE 20 MINUTES LATER. I try not to get emotional over disappointing films just like Mike and Jay suggest but my nerd rage is hard to stifle when screenwriters totally overlook shit like that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753345456 Octo Seven

    Haven’t watched yet but I sincerely hope Half In The Bag hasn’t taken that Spoony approach of presuming to tell us what we can and cannot be offended about in a piece of art or cinema. Prometheus was visually beautiful but terribly written, woeful main theme song that didn’t fit with the film, variable acting performances and a laughable script that insulted my intelligence “IT’S LIKE ONE OF DEM HOLOCAUST PAINTINGS” thanks for that movie. Not to mention under-developed characters, sub-plots that went nowhere, and inconsistent tone. I didn’t hate this movie believe it or not, I enjoyed it for the visuals, but it didn’t have a single likeable character and the plot was nonsensical. LOL at that guy ‘Ran’ saying it went over someone’s head because they didn’t like it. This is not a smart or intellectual film. Way to fail at being a snob. Is ‘Ran’ in reference to Kurosawa? lol Oh and not-Bjork was really weak, plus her relationship with not-Bowie made little sense. 

    • Dreux

       I’m pretty sure they have the right to call out blind cynicism.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753345456 Octo Seven

        I don’t watch RLM reviews for moral guidance or spiritual leadership, I’d rather hear their opinion on a movie than their opinion on someone else’s opinion.

        • guest

           Hence why I said “they have the right to call out blind cynicism”. They’re not criticizing others’ opinions, they’re criticizing the way people express them (like fucking children). If you don’t like feeling talked down to, stop acting like someone who deserves it. It’s their show, they can say what they want. Half you fuckers don’t even grasp the simplicity of what they were addressing:

          Express your disappointment like an adult.

          The movie itself is not a factor in this piece of advice. And don’t try to save face by exaggerating what they said, especially when they’re making a point about people exaggerating, you dumb waste of sperm.

    • Ran

       “Looks like a Holocaust Painting” was a brilliant and creepy line.
      GET OVER YOURSELF

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753345456 Octo Seven

        Really? You had to be told that it was like a holocaust painting? Let me guess, you prefer the voice-over version of Bladerunner too? lol

        • Guest

           Maybe he liked the delivery. I did. It’s not a great line, but it’s not worth whining about (though it’s not worth defending either; in fact, I’m gonna go get laid, I suggest you all do the same).

  • Fryguy64

    Half in the Bag gets it right on the money again. It’s not a perfect film, but it’s not terrible. I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I’ve seen much worse this year alone. Hell, I’ve seen much worse movies in the Alien franchise…

  • escushion

    Fox wanted a direct prequel; Ridley Scott approached them with an expansion on that and Fox told him to do it.

  • Guest

    I just have one criticism, when you cut to Charlize Theron while talking about her looks being distracting, you should have played a bar of “Dream Weaver” a la Wayne’s World. 

  • Deak the Freak

    I saw Prometheus and I hated it. I was very disappointed. I was hoping that this new direction, new facet of the Aliens universe would be interesting because, let’s face it, the xenomorphs are just fucking stupid now. Even Batman fought them.

    What I hated the most about it is how shallow the movie is while pretending to be deep. The plot involves a group of people going to find the beings that created mankind. This is potentially very deep stuff, but none of it was explored at all. None of the characters were even believable. They didn’t seem like they were going to go meet god, or whatever. They felt like amateur dramatics. Jay and Mike examine the spiritual aspects of this movie in this video more than the entire movie does.

    I’m also pretty sure Charlize Theramin could be completely edited out of the movie and nothing would be missing. I tried to remember what she actually does and all I can recall is her ass.

    All in all, even disregarding it’s pedigree as an Alien prequel/spinoff and all the baggage that brings, it’s not a very good movie because it presents a front of being meaningful, when really it’s all just surface. It’s an easy, crowd-pleasing version of spirituality. it reminds me of Star Trek: the Motion Picture which had similar big ideas that it absolutely bungled by mistaking merely mentioning profound concepts as being the same as having profound concepts. Disappointing and I do not recommend even Ridley Scott’s wife seeing this movie.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

       What I find really odd is that when people like Mr. Freak here articulate thoughtful criticism of the movie, they get jumped on for missing the point or accused of being reactionary haters.

      I really really wanted to like Prometheus. I really did. I looked forward to it so hard it annoyed the crap out of the people I know. I took the day off work!

      Even if it’s scientifically proven that elements in this movie are clever connections to, say, Persian creation myths, this movie still remains a stupid movie. I’m sorry if that’s upsetting, but I’m more sorry that it’s true.

      I’ll watch it again for the visuals and for Fassbender, and maybe it’ll grow on me. But let’s not pretend it’s more than a 6 out of 10 overall, even if the style and visuals are 10/10.

      • Guest

         The reason people jumped on Mr. Freak is because he is confusing his own disappointment and nitpicking for objective criticism. You clearly are capable of critical thinking, so don’t give jaded cynics like him too much credit just because you both share similar opinions. And no, this is no 10/10 film, but it’s no Phantom Menace either. Rule 1 of the internet: Bitching is the mouse potato’s favorite pastime.

  • Leyvahn

    Looks like Deak the Freak went out for a bathroom break and missed the entire movie. Or were you playing on your phone, missing all the subtleties, key phrases & connections to Alien/Blade Runner/LOST/”Why are we here?” motifs.

    • Marcus O’Reillius

      There were subtleties? I just saw Alien lore wrapped up in a shitty script with a LOST-style ending…

  • http://halfafilmstudent.blogspot.in/ Thaddeus

    Jay, I’m 100% with you on Lost. I had a lot of faith, but all I heard in the end is that they didn’t care about “mythology” stuff, so much as the “emotions” of the characters. All I could say is that if they didn’t care about mythology, then why did they use it so much, from beginning to end?

    Ultimately, I felt like a cat whose owner just bought a laser-pointer. Which is quite insulting, unless you’re actually a cat.

    • gcbain

       Yes, the ending was Lost was certainly a “We have no idea what to do so here’s some feel-good shit” type ending. I did think it was reasonably well done as far as that goes, but I wanted so much more. Especially after the excellent way that the 5th Season concluded, and the pretty damn fantastic Season 6 two-part opener too.

      • http://halfafilmstudent.blogspot.in/ Thaddeus

        Well, the show did a lot of things well. The real killer for me may have been that I read part of the Wiki article, and learned all about something called the Valenzeti Equation. The series did a lot of off-tv material describing that.

        The entire idea is that the world will end because of social, natural, and/or 4 other factors. It made it seem like the island was either the cause/solution for it, or the place chosen as the “lab” for people to give us more time (til the sun blows). So cool, but no, just a “something” that they decided to pair up with their rich dedication to characters.

        Like Sayid showing up in the non-denom church with a blonde white girl as a companion. Or the fact that none of the bad guys, besides Linus, were around. Nor were the socks; apparently, you didn’t have an arc unless you were gorgeous/the main cast.

        It just twists me up about all the good that came before…

  • Jumpin’ Jehosaphat

    SPOILERY RANT
    First, the film starts off with a great score invoking wonder and excitement for the journey you’re about to take. Accompanying this score are beautiful visuals of (I think) Earth at its most pristine and untouched, then comes the sci fi, a hughe saucer in the ski and a freakishly white bodybuilder who brings about his own demise. Fade to black. PROMETHEUS.This is a great opening, so great in fact that I consider it one of the best short films I’ve ever seen. Way better than the one by Ang Lee that preceeded, The Life of Pi. What the fuck was that?
    THE GOOD: The movie really starts now, cave paintings, acheologist lovers interpreting cave paintings as proof that man was created by aliens from a distant solar system and off we go in space. It’s two years later we’re pleasantly subjected to Michael Fassbender as David the Android watching Lawrence of Arabia and leaning ancient languages and creepily watch Noomi Rapace’s uninteresting dreams. He wakes the crew and everything seems cool and off to a great start. An Alien start, crewmembers on a space ship waking from cryo-sleep and bickering light heartedly. We get to the planet and everything just gets darker, moodier and even better as we head into a deep dark cave, great pacing insues, fine character showcasing, learning who all the important players are. We get mystery in the form of holographic Space Jockeys running for their lives leading us and the human crew to a decapitated physical Space Jockey. It seems David the Android may not be so nice and subserviant as we’re originally lead to believe (big shocker in an Alien prequel, right) as he orchestrates all the creepy taking place in this cave. A geologist and biologist freak out and decide to turn tail back to the ship, Prometheus (of course they don’t make it back) that’s the worst sand storm possible comes forcing the crew (all except the geologist and biologist) back to the ship.
    So that’s the good, everything up to this point is great, I’m thinking, “another great sci fi film to put in my movie collection. Ridley’s done it again!”
    THE BAD: I was wrong. We have one more good scene, the first horror scene in fact. It’s serves it’s purpose, it’s tense and a bit scary. Sadly, the biologist acts like a retard and you can’t help but want him to bite it. He’s playing with a creepy faceless snake that has human skin, or rather it’s a mutated worm, like it’s a kitty. Die, retard! But hey, it works as a far as first kills go.
    Then we have Roomi Rapace crying about her inability to bare a child which leads to…
    THE RIDICULOUS: There’s still good in this film, David the Android’s discovery of the Space Jockey cockpit, Charleze Theron with a flame thrower, Idris Elba getting that sweet sweet Theron ass and being likeable as hell while at it. David slips a Rapace’s lover a biohazardous mickey which mutates him. This scene plays on two different levels. You know from the getgo what David’s up to, he plays this scene so sneakily sinister, you can’t help but hate him and feel sorry for Logan Marshall-Green who plays Rapace’s lover slash archeologist partner, Charlie. Yet Charlie being such an prejudice, androidist bastard that you want to see him get his. So he then goes off to bone Rapace, he wakes to see there’s something seemingly living in his eyes. This is both good and partially rididculous, I mean you see shit living in your eyes you get medical attention stat. Guess what, he doesn’t. Anywho, Rapace suddenl turns up preggo, she wants an abortion because she saw Charlie (the baby daddy) get all mutated and burnt to a crisp by Charleze theron that she knows nothing good could be growing inside her. She then surgically removes this fetus and guess what she was right. But the question is, how the hell did Charlie who was obviously turning into a human-Space Jockey impregnate her with a chestbuster-squid baby? Then that chestbuster-squid baby attacks the pilot of the Space Jockey ship, oh yeah after mapping the cave they realize it’s a space craft, and impregnates him with what turns out to be a child-like Alien. How do you get from human-Space Jockey hibrid, to spacedick-squid to Alien kid? It makes no sense. In fact, it’s ridiculous. So anyway before you remember that after aborting her squid-baby Rapace finds that an ancient though dead Peter Weyland, funder of this journey, is still alive and planning on getting the Space Jockeys to save him from death by old age. Unecessary plot muddling. They get to the Space Jockey cockpit wake up the SJ pilot and Weyland is killed by it and David the Android is decapitated by it. Then after The Space Jockey pilot is killed by the giant space-dick squid Rapace gets contacted by David telling her to save him because both the Space Jockey ship Prometheus and Prometheus’ escape pod ship and destroyed and he knows where more Space Jockey ships are on this planet and he knows how to fly it. So she rescues his still functioning body and head then in a hilarious scene they have a chat as she encloses his head in a carrying case and explains to him that no, she doesn’t want to go back to Earth she wants to go to the Space Jockey homeworld. After all this one has to ask. Why the fuck would you do that? Why on God’s green Earth would anyone think that’s a good idea? The only thing I can think of is vengeance and I can’t see one human doing much against a planet full of super strong giant, technologically advanced god-aliens.
    You notice how there’s way more text in the ridiculous column? That should tell you something.

  • Daggoth

    Its clear to me, it seems, that the world is filled with to many jaded cynics because of the money-grubbing nature of Hollywood. It is true that some of the worst movies that have been made like ‘The Phantom Menace’ and ‘Jack and Jill’ were simply empty vehicles for marketing, or to make profit. I will, however, exclude Jack and Jill from further comment because it is clear that it was a feature length commercial that financially exploited a fan base that already happens to find entertainment in ineffectual family-values type comedy, poor taste and fart-jokes.

    However, when we look at the shallow computer generated environments of the Star Wars prequels we realize that there is a visual style at work; but this style ultimately tells us nothing about what kind of atmosphere the characters interact with or inhabit. Not only this, but no attention is even payed to characterization to compensate. These things, or rather, lack of things, compound on each other to give us nothing but a soulless digital product bereft of meaning, than an actual work of art. I mean, when in a visual medium like film, is the lofty attempt –the questions– made to reach some grand meaning when you can slap-dash some vapid, meaningless, sterile, non-interactive CGI environment populated by equally vapid, meaningless characters?

    When visual style is combined with proper atmosphere, characters almost have no need for deliberate characterization because the environment reflects on them and makes them more real — sometimes just the characters’ reactions and responses to it are enough. To this end I would say that the Star Wars prequels were not so much a commercial for products like Jack and Jill is (though the prequels pandered to a wide audience and there was extensive product marketing outside of it) but itself was a product.

    There is also nothing wrong with having a dedicated fan-base to go see your movie; dare I say the original ‘Alien’ at the time of release already possessed a fan-base particularly amongst those enjoyed the slasher/horror genres.

    When I went in to see Prometheus, I did not think of it as an ‘Alien’ prequel. It would be a mistake to think Ridley Scott would try to replicate everything about ‘Alien’ again but in the past; rather, I considered it to be a fresh approach to the franchise universe, and as a science-fiction horror based on its own merits. Barring problems with the pacing after the first act, I think that a true effort was put in to create something different that we have not seen before, and to build a proper atmosphere.

    This movie invites many interesting ideas, and it would be a shame to paint it with broad strokes just because we have become so bitter and cynical from being mistreated by other money-making scams that only possess superficial similarities. Similarities like fan bases and inconsistent plots. There is a difference between this movie and those movies; both in terms of its effort and attention to setting, atmosphere, acting and its ambition to set up and ask questions — these are not faults. Its main faults are arguably in its execution.

    We must temper the bad with an appreciation for the good; unless all movies nowadays are always going to be flawed to the point of being awful, no matter what they do right. People who believe the latter are pretentious idiots. 

    • guest

       For the people who don’t feel like reading this incredible post, here’s the short version:

      Prometheus is NOT The Phantom Menace. If you think it is, than you really don’t know what separates a disappointing film from a truly terrible one.

      • comfortablesilence

        I certainly remember the people who defended Phantom Menace and they remind me a lot of those who say I don’t get Prometheus.

        • Guest

           Well, fuck those people. Just because some of the movie’s hardcore defenders echo the hardcore defenders of a truly awful film, does not validate you as a hardcore detractor of a mildly disappointing one. To even bring up that argument is naive. If it’s not worth your time to listen to them babble on and on about how dumb you are for disliking what they like, how is it fair to have them represent everyone who just enjoyed the movie at varying degrees? I think a decent percentage of the people disappointed by the film have very valid reasons, so I don’t lump them in with them with the manchildren who tout this as “the worst movie since Phantom Menace”.

    • Plonkette

      *spoilers*

      Ya interesting ideas like why was the alien on earth at the start and how did he turn into humans.   Why was there a map to a military installation for no apparent reason.  Why were all the aliens and thier ships dormant for 2000 years even though they seem to be a race who is at least able to travel to 10 or 20 different star systems.    Im sure the american government forgets about military bases with weapons of mass destruction all the time.

      Why did that alien kick the shit out of everyone for no reason when he woke up?

      Why did that probe pick up life in the one tunnel when there wasn’t any?  Was it actually malfunctioning?

      Why was there a picture of the alien queen before there was ever an alien queen?

      And so on and so fourth.  The only real answer was that this was a shitty script. 

      Its like sand.  Its course and rough and irritating and its plot goes everywhere.

      • Daggoth

        Your brain clearly doesn’t understand what I mean. A movie doesn’t necessarily have to be a flawless logical mouse-trap to present fresh ideas about its subject and universe; not its plot. If you can’t appreciate Lindelof and Spaihts script, at least appreciate Ridley Scott’s and H.R. Giger’s (yes, because they used Giger’s designs and original paintings in the film) contributions. If you can’t do that, then you really don’t like the spirit that is ‘Alien’, just the simple texas chainsaw space-rape plot that is ‘Alien’.

        • Plonkette

           Did you mean the interesting blue collar workers with natural dialogue of aliens or the boring hollow shallow characters portrayed in Prometheus.   

          What fresh ideas did this movie present?  That we came from aliens?  One of star trek voyagers worst episodes dealt with aliens uplifting natives in the Americas. 

          The aliens were one dimensional warlike beings thats only thought is to wipe out earth?  Well there’s like a bajillion of those.   Hell at least the aliens in Independence day had some kind of reason to do this. 

          The alien in Prometheus just woke up and was like,  oh right i was suppose to go and wipe out that earth planet like 2000 years ago.  Forget about warming up the ship or checking to see if any of the hundreds of squad mates of mine are alive or even trying to signal my people.   Nope,  right to earth.

          The only somewhat interesting character was the robot guy.   And he was just too random to be compelling.  

          This movie was all style and no substance.  It isn’t deep or thought provoking.   Its just random people doing random stuff for random reasons.   Even the ending was random.

          • Daggoth

            Why does everybody keep going back to the plot? You know, I never let the plot off the hook. I, like many of the haters out there could imagine a better script. In fact at the end I thought, you know I could have ‘engineered’ a better script myself. All I am saying is, if you have to shit on someone, let that be Lindelof et al because it is THEIR script. Don’t suddenly hate the entirety of the film without having some sort of an appreciation for the people who actually invested energy into something worthwhile — the people who care about making movies and not just about making money.

            Guess what? I’ll let you in on a little secret: there is no such thing as a truly original idea. Not in Star Trek. Not in Alien. Not in Star Wars. In fact many antecedents exist for Alien, but this is to no fault of it. What matters is the combination of ideas a movie invites; not anything to do with the plot or plot reasoning. Prometheus does tackle a bit more in this regard than it is prepared to, but at least it starts to explore them — it just doesn’t finish its work very well.

            Yes, the acting in Alien is superb, more superb than Prometheus, but I am afraid you will have to take away your ‘Alien’ glasses for this one to have any appreciation for it, I’m sorry.    

  • Schiltrom 77

    I’m sorry guys, I love your reviews, but I really do have to take issue when Jay says ‘people who get upset about this movie should just stop watching movies.’ Sorry man, but I’ve got to disagree with you there. And no, this movie is not a Jack and Jill by any means, but that doesn’t mean I can’t think it’s fucking stupid for much the same reasons I find the Star Wars prequels stupid.

    And I’m not just jumping on some hateful bandwagon- I walked into that movie theatre with no big expectations, and I walked out just feeling empty inside. Now after two weeks of quiet contemplation, I still think anyone who cares enough to engage in a full, detailed, Plinkett-level deconstruction of Prometheus will start to notice that the sheer lapses of sense or logic in this movie genuinely do start to echo Phantom Menace. And I’m not just talking about the non-explanatory ending here…

    The two things everyone seems to bitch about most in this film are the lack of any real resolution, and the whole: worms + black goo = penis cobra , or: squidbaby + spacejockey = deformed Geiger alien- but these are just the most immediately visible flaws in the film which seem to distract people from the larger narrative failures like some Prometheus equivalent of Jar Jar. 

    The REAL problem with this movie is that -even ignoring the aforementioned issues- the story of Prometheus is a rushed, incoherent mess. If you do enjoy it for what it is then fine, whatever floats your boat, I’m not trying to pick a fight here. But when you look at the way the film progresses, coupled with the completely inexplicable actions of some of the characters, the flaws in this film do start compounding one on top of the other until the whole narrative just collapses into a senseless SERIES OF THINGS THAT HAPPEN.

    When you break down the basic plot of Prometheus, you get: 

    Crew of a spaceship lands on alien planet, hoping to meet their creators. They find black goo that was also made by the creators but it turned on them and killed them.  Then the goo turns into other things and starts killing the crew in a series of bizarre ways. Then it turns out the old man who funded the trip is there too, and he goes to talk to the last survivor of the creators who he thinks will help him cheat death for some reason. Then the creator kills the old man and everyone else for no reason then decides to go to Earth and kill everyone there for no reason but it’s okay because then he gets killed by a giant squid. Then the last survivor finds another spaceship which has never been mentioned before conveniently parked just down the road with the keys in the ignition, and decides to go to another planet to find out what the whole fucking ‘killing everyone’ thing was about to begin with.

    Um… Okay… Seriously, am I wrong? That IS essentially the entire plot, right? I mean I know I skipped the part with the cool abortion and the cool spaceship crash, but that’s not plotting. That’s special effects. And when you look at it carefully, this really is a movie that favours the vastness of it’s set pieces, and it’s 3D and it’s CGI more than it’s story, themes or characters. The critics sure as fuck do…

    Now since all the alien engineer’s motivations -which were actually the key inciting factor of the entire narrative- were deferred to some hypothetical sequel, so there’s no real arc in the story. The film just ends when they run out of supporting characters to kill off so they just send the protagonist off to another planet with the same goal she had at the start of the movie. The whole fucking movie just took her on a wild goose chase then brought her right back to square one. The word ‘convoluted’ comes to mind.
    The entire plot becomes the very definition of ‘a series of things that happen’. I mean in a lot of ways it’s actually worse than the cop out of saying “It was the will of the force” to cover up shitty writing. It’s like saying “No, it’s really smart, but we just decided not to tell you all the missing bits that make it smart because it’s more thought provoking that way.”

    There’s a big difference between leaving things open to the audience’s imagination, and having a plot hole where there should be a plot. This film had two writers, so I’m assuming there were at least two drafts of the script. Didn’t anyone notice that all the “big ideas” the film raised were conveniently dropped at every turn just in time for a bunch of violent/blinding/squishy special effects? 

    But I digress- here are some examples of inexplicable ‘things that happen’ in the film’s plot-vacuum which nearly had me buckled up with laughter at their sheer stupidity:

    1. While spending a night isolated in the creepy alien pyramid, one of two characters -who were previously clearly established as a couple of chickenshits- decides that a weird alien penis thing looks cute. (“Hey Pop, can we keep him?”) Now this is fine. I mean who hasn’t casually wondered what it would be like to befriend the baby from Eraserhead? But then the penis gets pissed off and turns into a fucking great big hissing king cobra thingy. Now at this point even the most curious individual might think to themselves “Hey. That thing kinda looks like a cobra. Aren’t they, like, dangerous? Hmm. Maybe I oughta just–” For christ’s sakes, even Steve Irwin would have ran his ass off at that point. (RIP Steve.)

    Anyway, the retard tries to poke the cobra-looking penis thingy and he fucking dies horribly. Good riddance, you jackass! Now let’s get something straight here- this isn’t like John Hurt cautiously peering into a space-egg and getting face fucked by an alien crab for his troubles. This is hardcore dumb-shit territory here. I defy anyone to explain to me how such a moronic act is any LESS retarded than Anikin Skywalker casually listening to Palpatine’s stories about how awesome the Sith are, seemingly without entertaining the notion that Palpatine could be a Sithlord. Heeeerrre, snaky, snaky snaky, snaky, snaky–

    2. This is a thought-provoking, cerebral sci fi epic, right?

    Well that’s what it’s defenders keep saying, anyways. It’s not just a stupid monster mash because “it ponders the origins of our species and the explores the great questions of the infinite possibilities of intelligent life in the universe, whether they be human, alien or android”– WRONG. The fact that these questions aren’t fully resolved is forgivable- if frustrating- but the bottom line is the writers of this film don’t actually EXPLORE any of these themes- they constantly have the characters REMIND us that’s the reason they’re there.  And to wander around in weird alien corridors, and poke shit you’re obviously not meant to poke…

     An examples of a potentially fascinating exploration scene is when David the android goes off on his own in the alien ship. But he just kind of pokes an alien keyboard which seems to have de-shelled boiled eggs for buttons, and then he plays a flute, aaaaaand– We get a 3D planetarium hologram! Yay! Look at all the pretty lights! So we see a big, bright map, and we find out that the aliens were going to Earth, but do we see anything related to these alien’s advanced culture?  Other than they like to play the flute? Nope.
    Because we’re supposed to use our imagination, right? Kinda like that stunning, thought-provoking reveal shot of the thing in the chair in the original ALIEN movie that left you thinking “Wow– what the hell was that thing? What kind of weird, distant civilisation does he hail from?” Well let’s see what Mr Scott’s given us to fuel our imagination this time round… Ummmm– Well, the engineers want to kill us all, obviously, aaaaand I guess they like wind instruments? Hey! Maybe the aliens just want to exterminate all life on the planet that spawned Kenny G?? Now it all makes sense…

    3. So then at the end of the film, when they go back to the pyramid to wake up the last Engineer. Remember, this is the first time humans have EVER encountered a living being of superior intelligence. The thematic and cinematic possibilities of this scene are ENDLESS. Regardless of whether or not the Alien wants to kill the humans, this is Ridley Scott- the VISIONARY director’s one big chance to prove that this IS actually more than just a movie about squishy monsters doing squishy things to people. 

    So here we go: the big white alien dude wakes up. And he looks at the humans, and they look at him. And then the robot starts talking to him in his own language supposedly. You think maybe the film’s intelligent side’s about to speak up for itself. Definitive answers or not, maybe we’ll get to see a glimpse of this ancient, advanced race’s civiliza– Oh. I guess then the big alien dude just wanders about punching everyone to death… Umm. Okay. Yeah, you’re right, guys. This is a really smart movie… about the big questions of life, and– Oh look, now the big alien dude’s having a fight with the big squid thingy and oh look the squid thingy won by face-fucking the other one.  Yep, okay, you’ve proven your point guys. If you can’t appreciate this paragon of Sci Fi cinema, there’s just no hope for you…

    NO. HOPE.

    • Spaz

      Are you sure you didn’t have high expectations? You seem pretty upset.

      • Disfigurative

         Agreed with Spaz.

        Once the reviews started coming out of the woodwork I began, sadly, to realize that the movie was absolutely not going to live up to my expectations and that it was quite clear that Scott had missed the mark on another possible masterpiece.

        That being said, the movie was a thrilling spectacle (vistas, sets, atmosphere), but that was it.

      • Schiltrom 77

        Honestly, I was completely impartial when I saw the film. I really hoped Prometheus would be good, but based on some of Ridley’s other efforts in the past few years, I’d very much prepared myself for the possibility of disappointment. 

        In my last comment I only really meant to counter Jay’s remark about people being upset by this film, which I thought was slightly hypocritical given some of RLM’s more brutal dissections of a few other films, but I guess it turned into an extended therapy session. I mainly just think that people are entitled to give even ambitious but flawed films a full (and joyously irreverent) autopsy without the coroners being automatically dismissed as cynics and haters. 

    • blastor138

      I came here hoping to here these guys who deconstructed the SW Prequels hammer the crap out of this movie but, for whatever reason (my theory is that they like Ridley Scott and most of his other movies) they put on the kid gloves.  Disappointing to say the least.

      • guest

         ….Or they just liked it? They didn’t go nuts, they were caught in the middle. They separated other people’s opinions and the backlash, from their experience and attempts pick it apart and figure out the real point of the film (and what may have held it back), and they addressed both factors separately. These guys aren’t just generic “angry” reviewers, they actually try being objective, and as a result they are brilliant at picking things apart. If you want mindless, self-indulgent ranting, go watch Angry Joe, or some other unfunny, diluted internet reviewer.

        • blastor138

          But the stupid things in the SW prequels they frothed at the mouth at (e.g.- poorly drawn characters with incoherent motivations, action, or in this case, horror scenes tossed in because something needs to happen) happen in this movie.

          I’m not looking for a typical “angry” review from these guys but, considering how astute they were at picking apart things that didn’t make sense in other movies, I’d figured they’d have a field day with this one.

          • guest

             But they didn’t deem it something so terrible that one would have to pick it apart in order to find out what makes it so bad. They seemed pretty indifferent to it.

          • Guest

             If there are two people on the internet that never froth at the mouth over a film, even ones they’ve dissecting so meticulously, it’s Mike and Jay.

    • Marcus O’Reillius

      Exactly! I like to put it thus: It fucking sucks. 

      The potential of this movie was unbelievable: one of the most enduring film legacies, an occasionally brilliant director, fantastic cast. And lots of questions.
      Mostly about the Space Jockey, who turns out to be a mute albino giant with a penchant for fisticuffs. The Predators would kick this guys ass.The Lost-Lovers should stick to their nonsensical schlock TV crap and stop ruining movies. Lindelhof has potentially RUINED the Alien legacy. That’s hard…not even AvP could manage that, being so bad people just ignored it. But with Ridley Scott attached this crap seems legit :(

      • http://www.wiziwig.tv/ Rafael Da Silva

        I don’t think this movie is meant to do anything other than make money. It’s like RLM say in the review, it feels like a remake.

        They have all the elements from the Alien movie repeated in the beginning of the movie. The way the title appears is exactly the same as Alien. The first time they show the ship and the text that appears. “Vessel: Prometheus. Crew: By the end of the movie, only 1(+cat/droid). Destination: Fuck you.”

        They even have the same scene with the crew bickering amongst themselves about their motivation for being on the mission and reveal the shallow human craving for making money out of it. It’s all there.

        Then there’s all the HR Giger stuff like the derelict and the space hopper and the alien and the face fuckers, and the droid with the white blood who gets his head detached from his body but still functions. And it’s basically the same 10 little indians storyline where they get killed one by one until there’s only one left. Even though they get killed by different monsters this time, instead of just one.

        It’s has all the ingredients and none of the love and care.

        Maybe this movie is what Ridley Scott wanted the Alien movie to be originally. About a search for higher intelligence and the origins of life, but if that’s the case then it came off horribly flawed and might even reveal Scotty to be the overrated filmmaker he just might be, but I’m going to side with Jay on that question and suggest that he’s a much smarter filmmaker than that, and that the movie just suffers from incredibly lazy writing and a simplistic plot.

        Maybe there’s another hour of footage waiting to be released in a Director’s Cut version that will satisfy the audience that actually want something more than face fucking aliensquids and black goo generated cobra-penisworms. But I doubt it.

    • Christopher Kulik

      It wasn’t an abortion but C-section surgery. You sure you were paying attention?

  • gcbain

    last minute or so of this review = greatest thing I’ve ever seen

  • http://www.facebook.com/OhzzaCunningham Craig Cunningham

    I need a .wav of that sound. 

  • Riddled

    I’m surprised no one has mentioned the inevitable Ridley Scott Blu-Ray Director’s Final Ultimate Edition Cut 2.0. Wherein Ridley Scott attempts to make the movie make sense but adding twenty-some-odd minutes of expository dialogue.

    • Guest

       Was any of the dialogue *not* expository? I think less than half the scenes in this movie were devoted to characters just spitting plot.

      • Guest

         *doing something other than spitting plot. I wonder if Scott had as many issues in the editing room as I did.

  • http://twitter.com/WyldeGoose Max Wylde

    Jay!  You said the first half of the film is really engaging?

    HOW?

    How did Shaw and Holloway come to the conclusion that the aliens that visited Earth are our creators?  They never show any evidence for that.  It’s just, “We just choose to believe.”  

    That is not compelling.  That’s sheer stupidity! 

    • guest

       Translation: You’re a poo poo head, Jay. THIS MOVIE SUCKS CAUSE I DON’T LIKE IT.

      • Guest

         Translation: Someone has dared to question something I enjoy. I will belittle them by means of thought-terminating cliche, in hopes of forcing them to agree with my opinion.

        • guest

           Or he’s just fucking with him. U mad?

        • guest

          I haven’t seen it. lulz

  • Cruddly Snott

    Sorry mike and jay, this movie was as well thought out and deep as transformers the dark side of the moon.   And that movie also looked pretty.   I belive this should have ended with a cheque from riddley scott popping up on screen.

    I have a great idea riddley.  Lets show the alien RIGHT AT THE START OF THE MOVIE and ruin all the mystery and suspense for the rest of the movie right there.   Even george lucas had better sense then that. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

       I thought the beginning was audacious and intriguing. Apparently the mileage on that varies.

      • Plonkette

         Heres what i mean by the begging ruining everything.  You don’t care about the cave paintings because you already know who painted them.
        When you see the holograms running though the hallways,  you aren’t amazed because you know its just those aliens in suits.    

        The giant statue head doesn’t impress you because you already know its of the aliens and not some wierd tribute to humans.    When they find out that the ‘head’ is really a head in a helmet you aren’t the least bit intruegued about this revelations because you already know whats under the helmet.

        See what i mean.  Thats at least 1/3rd of the movie thats completely devoid of any suspense or mystery that SHOULD AND WOULD!! have been filled with it had they just cut out the first five minutes.

  • mnightshamalamadingdong

    Horrible movie. it is only 1.5/5 star at best. too many plot holes, like why was guy not in the chair at end? makes no sense because that is not how the next movie starts

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

       Not the same guy. Different planets.

    • guest

       What Cratylus said. And really? “Horrible movie”? Watch more movies.

  • Johnhurseyjr

    What I love the most are all the haters frothing at the mouth for this site to eviscerate the movie, and what the two reviewers most have a problem with is the haters! 

    I largely agreed with their points, but if there is one movie that you should NOT be half in the bag for, it might be this film.  It requires a lot of concentration, a little guesswork on your part, and maybe even a repeat viewing.  What I wanted those two to say the most, though, was that THIS IS NOT A BAD THING.

    It’s not bad that a movie doesn’t spoon-feed you the answers.  It’s not bad that your prequel doesn’t end where the first movie begins.  It’s not bad that you ask more questions than you end up answering.  The best sci-fi movies aren’t the ones with characters who do believable things or who fight the scariest monsters, they are the ones that ask those questions.

    2001: A Space Odyssey did nothing but ask questions, and 2010: The Year We Make Contact tried to do nothing but answer questions.  Which is the better film?  I’m not saying Prometheus is either film, but if I were forced to describe it, I’d have to say that it’s Ridley Scott attempting a balancing act between the two. 

    • guest

      People like hating things?

      • guest

         On the internet, yes. They fucking love it more than anything in the world and they never once admit it to themselves. They feign anger and exaggerate disappointment because it’s the most accepted thing you can do on the internet.

        • guest

          See, here I’m now sitting by myself, uh, er, talking to myself,

          • guest

             No you’re not, and neither am I. Fuck off.

          • guest

            Was that a mastrubation joke?

          • Guest

             Stop Liking yourself.

          • guest

             I liked him.

          • guest

             And now I’ve liked myself.

        • Guest

           And here you are, doing the exact same thing. Thou art a wizened poster.

          • guest

             Right, because expressing frustration towards a jaded, cynical culture is the exact same thing as getting kicks from bashing a fucking movie. That’s all it is, kids. Prometheus is a movie. Phantom Menace, as awful as it is, is a movie. You, genius, are a human being, and in your attempt to defend your desire to be a cynical little bitch, represent something far worse than a disappointing movie.

    • blastor138

      Considering these guys made a name for themselves evercierating stupid sci-fi movies, it’s reasonable to assume they’d evicerate this stupid (albeit pretty to look at) sci-fi movie.

      • guest

        But they didn’t, did they? Makes you think, doesn’t it? (Well, maybe not in your case).

        • blastor138

          It makes me think that they went way too easy on this one considering the movie was one long string of THINGS THAT HAPPEN (like another commenter pointed out) with some muddled philosophical questions mixed in.

          • guest

            At least things happened, in TPM nothing really happened

          • guest

             Right, but as I said, they didn’t eviscerate it. You know why? BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T TRYING TO. They make a point of telling you, the audience, that this movie is not one of “those movies”. It may be disappointing to fans, but only because it’s not near-perfect.
            Prometheus = Disappointing
            Star Wars prequels = Disappointing because of how much it utterly fails on almost every level (and the levels it succeeded in have not stood the test of time)
            Get it?

          • blastor138

             Prometheus fails on every level except two, the set design and special effects. (and you could make the case the SW prequels succeeded on those levels too).

            Get it?

          • guest2

            cause the star wars prequels were totally believable worlds… had acting that could rival Fassbender’s performance, directing as good as Ridley Scotts… oh wait.

          • guest

             I got it, but it’s lite and has no real substance.

            Star Wars prequels = obtrusive, unnecessary special effects filling every frame, consistently pulling you out of the movie.

            Prometheus = meticulously designed and executed imagery and effects meant to pull you into the movie; actually creates atmosphere; is an ASSET to the movie.

            Plus, there’s at least one great character and performance in the movie (Michael Fassbender as David).

            ?Etg ti?

          • SnowBall

            How about
            Star wars = Obvious and clear to every1 not stupid bigass fail and shit movies. Why even dissect them? WE all know they got the shittiest work in them.

            Then Prometheus
            = All fancy makeup but ZERO substance.
            Everyone”s impressed but lingers off with feeling of disbeleif.. what to make of it?

            Wich to dissect.. the obvoius silly choice ? or the one that deserves some special scrutiny?
            Well, I think Prometheus warrants a dissecration more than Star Wars.

            ps, I fuckin despise every single star wars movie to date so perhaps I’m biased

    • Guest

      Questions like “why did Weyland think the aliens would grant him eternal life?” are not philosophical loose ends; they’re logical inconsistencies.

      • Guest

         not really, if you had a few days to live and no current medical science could cure you, and there was a possibility that the aliens couold and youre going to die anyway its like hey, why the fuck not, he wanted them to help him, but I don’t think he 100 percent thought they were going to, it was a shot in the dark

        • Adfsd

          And how exactly does one test immortality without waiting like, 50 years to see if someone dies? Again, logical inconsistencies.

          • Guest

             So the writer’s have to explain away a character’s lack of common sense? That’s not a logical inconsistency, it’s a character defect.

    • JoeJoe

      If this movie requires a lot of concentration, I’d love to see a youtube video of you putting on your shoes. I expect both will seem like rigorous mental activities.

  • http://twitter.com/WyldeGoose Max Wylde

    Of course he is.  Something must be wrong with him if he didn’t like this movie.  

  • Guest

    I think Jay hit the nail on the head with the question, “is this too smart for me or am I too smart for this movie?” I see many fans talking about symbolism and theming, trying to pick out how different images and ideas are represented. But character development? Plot? Scene cohesion? Dialogue? It seems like detractors are the only ones who care about the story being told, and how it’s being told.

  • mister beefy

    I think it finally happened; Mike and Jay finally took too much acid.

    • guest

      If you’re saying in regards to their opinion (really, their struggle to find an opinion) of the film, than I would disagree and instead suggest that they just have too many working brain cells for the likes of their fans.

    • guest

      Why would they be on acid? They are in Milwaukee! Beer capital of the world!

  • Guest

    its funny how people are picking this film apart when there are even worse offenders in terms of logic and plot inconsistencies, like that movie a few years ago that everyone loved, what was it? oh yeah, the dark knight (a film I had the same reaction all the haters of prometheus seem to be having to), honestly I have no idea what makes it ok to praise one film and deride the other, is it the genres? because with all this nitpicking theyre about even with the stupid plot holes and unrealistic characters. Oh yeah, if you’re going to reply to this please try and use your brains

    • guest

      Those movies were structured and paced as to where inconsistencies with the narrative were hidden – I think it all comes down to editing

      • WhyDon’tTheyFreezeHim

        “I think it all comes down to editing”

        I totally agree. Scott did an amazing job with his director’s cut of Kingdom of Heaven. Hopefully, he does the same with this movie.

    • guest

       My brain tells me that you need to use yours. It also tells me that Prometheus is a decent film, regardless of its flaws.

    • Guest2

      I’d have used “The Avengers” as a better example of what you’re trying to say…
      The Dark Knight made sense and what not.
      Avengers meanwhile was a bunch of cartoon characters trading witty insults at each other for an hour while on a (for no reason) flying invisible aircraft carrier…then a 50 minute non-sensicle/nothing at stake action scene that was way too similar too Transformer3′s climatic battle scene.
      That film got a 93% rating on the Tomatoe meter… for it’s Writing.

      • Guest

        see, I judge movies based on what they’re trying to be, Avengers was trying to be a fun reasonably witty action adventure movie, The Dark Knight was trying to be an epic crime story featuring questions of morality and philosophical ideals, sort of like a scorcese or some of Mann’s films, it didn’t do that very well in my opinion, so I judged it based on that, I saw Prometheus as being a fun sci fi horror romp, I didn’t really look that far into it because I didn’t feel thats what it was trying to primarily do, I might be completely wrong but whatever, thats how I took it, and thats why I enjoyed it and am confused at the backlash

    • Schiltrom 77

      I agree that it’s not okay to place some films on a pedestal ignoring their obvious flaws while dismissing other films outright, and for what its worth I agree with you regarding the Dark Knight.

      There were a number of extremely distracting plot holes and baffling creative choices in DK which took me out of the movie (guy with half his face missing whose speech remains unimpaired?). But at the end of the day, I was compelled by more than just visuals in the Dark Knight- I cared about the characters, the themes were fleshed out and the plot as a whole was coherent. 

      The big divisive factor with Prometheus seems to be that a lot of people who like it can just dismiss hugely illogical character actions and just enjoy the ride -which is fine- but there are a lot of people like myself who can praise the visuals but lament the fact that so many opportunities to give the movie real substance and depth were passed up in favour of silly characters and squishy monster antics. You can call me a ‘hater’ if you want but I’m just looking for a deeper meaning in a film which I personally felt left wanting. I’m not going to apologise for having my own opinions.

    • JoeJoe

      A film can succeed despite it’s flaws, if it’s executed well. How’s that so hard to understand? Prometheus does not fall into that category. It’s flaws were too many are too big to ignore.

      Did you not use your brain?

      • Guest

         I thought films were about “feeling” and “not thinking”?

        Come on, Joe.

  • Luke

    The movie fits with the Alien universe. Only plot hole is chimpanzees.

  • Marcus O’Reillius

    Despite looking incredible, basing a sci-fi movie on Erich von Daniken’s half-assed theories IS science schlock!!! Cave paintings surviving 35,000 years in a damp Scottish cave?
    Really Ridley? Come on! Why not open with apes warily approaching some mysterious hooded being (bit of a homage to 2001 perhaps) instead of the whole Japanese tea ceremony thing? That made no sense.
    He made such obvious use of the Alien lore to get us into the theatre and then fed us a hacked script. Ridley tried so hard to make it ‘NOT Alien’ and into some Chris Nolan “big idea” movie it fails as anything other than a half-thinking-mans Transformers. 
    It almost works, until just after we all think the Engineers have died off, but after that point things start falling apart. Even the transformation of the Space Jockey into the Engineer exoskeleton was believable enough. Its Ridley’s legacy to ruin if that’s what he wants but at least have a decent script for crying out loud. Some of the lines and “revelations” are appalling. The Shaw “I can’t have kids” scene…that was awful. 

    Couldn’t Vickers have claimed that Peter Weyland’s body was on board because he wanted to be buried at the birthplace of his creators? That’d be a pretty kosher reason for an extra cryotube, no? I’d buy that. I’d probably even help carry his casket into the tomb.
    RIP wrinkly Guy Pierce. Wait…he’s alive??? And now a first generation facehugger is impregnating him? Oh the irony!

    Pity Weyland-Yutani didn’t make Sham-Wows: John Hurt or Tom Skeritt might have wiped the dust off the stasis capsule in Alien and discovered an Engineer, given they were covered in what looked like remarkably thin clear plastic. Shame about that.Why didn’t the scriptwriters just leave Shaw (and maybe Vickers) alone on the planet to die with just a David-head for company? I expected that to happen once Prometheus did its kamikaze run instead of that stupid “There’s more ships” bullshit. Which David can fly, despite no longer having hands to manipulate the controls and star map nor lungs to play his flute to activate it.AND HOW DOES A ROBOT THAT DOESN’T NEED TO BREATHE PLAY A FLUTE???
    Holloway makes a big deal of pointing this out: a remarkably snotty attitude towards a “artificial person” for someone about to meet a superior being who created HIM.Maybe our stranded trio discover the alien beacon (that eventually lures the Nostromo to the planet) and perhaps hear a distant scream as Weyland-Alien is born…ooh, ominous!!! Keep us in the dark and drip feed us plot development damn it, that’s how the first movie worked!The scriptwriters tried to be too clever and tripped themselves up. How about the Engineers ramming the Prometheus to prevent their dangerous technology being stolen? Puts them back in the role of mysterious good guys who probably won’t rip Shaw to pieces when she gatecrashes their homeworld with a talking head and a stolen ship.

    I wanted this movie to be great. It just wasn’t!

  • Jawsphobia

    Gentlemen, with a search for God or “the answer” you have two possible endings that will satisfy – one is proof that there is no God or life is meaningless, and the other is the big reveal of God with a swell of choir music and then fade out.  In either case, you go home to the same reality and arguments unresolved.  The movie is fine.  Unfortunately no big observations from Red Letter Media this time.  

    • Plonkette

       What about finding out that the main character IS god and hes been searching for himself this whole time!?!?!?! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

    • guest

       And thus create backlash from either side of the, for lack of a better word, “fence”. And as for their observations, they made far more objective observations about this movie than to people who just walked away dismissing it. They are the first two people I’ve seen bring up the lack of answers being attributed to our own lack of answers, so I don’t know where you got that “no big observations” judgement from.

  • The Pope

    What is the meaning behind Space Cop ?

  • Guest

    You Know, I thought the exact same thing. I don’t want to dismiss this movie and I still say that I really liked the movie. However, there is a little voice in the back of my head trying to convince me otherwise. The voice is stuck in a good amount of people’s heads and I think it stems from two or three things. The horror elements, the black goo and the alien tie-ins. 1. The horror elements don’t fit with the main themes of discovery and our place in this world. So when the horrific stuff happened I didn’t feel like it was necessary or that it added to the conversation the film was having. The horror scenes just felt inconsequential and a little pointless.
    2. The black goo just did too many things. The goo can melt people, make monsters, turn people into zombies and make people pregnant. I am sure that you can rationalize that the goo could break down and mutate anything but the whole idea could have been handled better. For example a scene where, instead of just David secretly taking a canister, the scientists  take one to the ship and analyze it. This would allow the audience a better understanding of the substance’s properties. That way we, as an audience, could understand how the black goo could affect the environment in different situations.
    3.Finally, the alien tie-ins just felt obligatory. Why have them at all? They do nothing but confuse people and if the filmmakers decided to remove the psuedo-aliens and the alien mural we could have judged the movie more on its own terms.
    I don’t know maybe I’m crazy but I wish the movie felt more focused and less an uncomfortable combination of Alien style horror and 2001-esque sci-fi

  • guest

    Get off your lazy fucking ass and give us what we want you
    fat homo. No one cares about Half in the Bag!

    • BrainForce V

       418 comments posted within a 24 hour span seems to disprove your theory that “no one cares about Half in the Bag”

  • Zero_miles_per_hour

    So long story short, it’s alright but I wouldn’t miss anything if I skipped it.

  • Jay

    Awesome episode! Awesome ending!  This is my favorite show online and offline.  Fuck yeah! I’ve got a cock in my mouth. 

  • snqrls

    The movie was… okay. That is, if you can block off the half that just don’t make no sense. 

    Most of the open ended questions can be answered, but after thinking about it, the premise, they’re searching for our alien progenitors, is fallacious; and, that single problem detracted from the rest of the film.

  • cobrapeepee

    in the end, if I had to choose between another half decade of adamsandler/twilight/transformer films or a couple great looking films that were disappointing cause they were only “decent” films in the end…

  • Trey

    Blade Runner is my favorite movie, and I love Ridley Scott, but… Come on, this movie is broken, story-wise at least. There are just so many holes in the plot. I’m not going to g through them all, the guys mention a bunch of them already. I’ll just cut to the chase.

    It felt like I was watching a movie that either had the story truncated, or a large portion of the story excised to make room for action seguences. (Like the ship crashing which lasted forever, and was pointless.) Don’t get me wrong, it looked great, it just didn’t make logical sense.

  • Anonymous

    Besides the acting and the visuals in general, I don’t think this was a well made movie. Characters are written awfully and scenes happen in the second half which have no bearance on the plot or make no sense. Most of these faults were thoroughly panned in your Star Wars prequels reviews and I don’t get why here it could get a pass.

  • http://twitter.com/benheck Ben Heckendorn

    Don’t forget that the mission cost “1 trillion dollars” yet a few scenes later, crew members bet “100 credits” they won’t find anything.

    Did Lindelof write this in 1 draft?

    • http://www.facebook.com/jon.wahlen Jon T. Wahlen

       It’s not possible that the universe of the movie has more than one currency?

      • http://www.facebook.com/ryan.scott.5201 Ryan Scott

        You mean earth since we have clearly not done to much in the universe at this point, the scientists were amazed by planets supporting life. If there is a crazy new type of international currency called credits why in the world would the clearly multi-national Weyland Corporation not have used it to make the estimate of the ship but two pretty much average sailors would use it for betting.

        • guest

           It’s a movie…

  • Listo65

    Martin Scorsese, The Departed. – Director going back to his roots.

  • http://twitter.com/ThisSteveGuy steve guy

    The only positive thing I can say is that Prometheus made Alien Resurrection look good. There you had a movie with relatively interesting characters possessing clearly defined motivations who didn’t behave like brain donors half the time. The plot was communicated to the audience in a manor which respected their intelligence. It also had that guy who could ricochet bullets like Robocop. I guess we just didn’t know at the time how good that movie was, but now it’s pretty awesome.

    • http://twitter.com/KengJuan Eric Han

       How did you know I saw this movie in my manor?

  • http://www.facebook.com/jon.wahlen Jon T. Wahlen

    WE want the return of FUCKBOT! #FUCKBOT

  • http://www.facebook.com/jon.wahlen Jon T. Wahlen

    Seriously, Does anyone really watch Bladerunner for the script, NO. Ridley Scott is a visual director, people see his films for the visuals.. I think everyone complaining was probably expecting another Aliens Vs. Predator.  

  • Bayou Billy

    Why coudnt they just make an Alien prequel, what everybody wants at the end of the day, instead of a “look at us being smart and edgy” movie ..

    • guest

       No one wants to see that shit.

  • StEligius

    No offense but Jay is too far into fanboy to objectively analyze the film. Mike seemed to be giving him the “oh come on, you can’t be bitching out for Ridley” look the whole time. The thing i get from mike is that the movie “meh, watchable”. Remember people gave Lucas a pass on his past accomplishments and the movies got progressively worse.

    • guest

      It’s amazing what the mind can project when it disagrees with someone’s opinion…

  • POOPLOSER_69

    I enjoyed the film, but was really turned off by a few moments where I had to suspend my disbelief too far. Specifically, the fact that only minutes after Shaw is cut open and experiences what is (hopefully) the most traumatic experience of her life, she wanders around without much trouble and holds a mild-mannered conversation with someone she had believed was dead.

    The first “alien” encounter was also laughably out of place- the same character who was previously scared of dead alien corpses decides to play nice with a suspiciously lethal serpentine alien life-form.

    Besides that, I felt like I may have been too stupid to absorb all the plots that were being thrown my way, and I wasn’t able to decipher what the hell was really going on. There may actually be a master plan behind all these sorts of things that was lost upon me.

    It is worth noting that the final scene where we see our beloved original Alien induced laughter from the audience which shared the theater with me. All that said, I’d recommend the film, it was fun and enjoyable. I just wish they had done a little more (or less?) with it.

  • Dayy

    I hate to say this because I love HITB, but this review was about as confused as Prometheus itself. You can’t suggest that there’s something wrong with people passionately hating this movie when you’ve been involved in the creation of three epic, rage-filled documentaries exploring how much George Lucas fucked up the prequels. Prometheus did actually piss me off because I felt it had been written by an idiot. Yes, the visuals were impressive, but I think it was incompetent on every other level – the story was confusing and unsatisfying, the dialogue was poor, the characters were unrealistic (Dr. Holloway, anyone?) and ultimately this feels like a contrived set-up for more ‘kinda Alien’ prequels that may eventually tie in to the original film. If this is the best they could come up with, I think we have a right to feel ‘intense disappointment’ – even anger. I basically wanted my money back when I came out of the theater.
    But anyway, thanks for the review guys; I couldn’t fully agree with it, but I’m glad you’re doing it.

    • guest

       Confused? No. They’re just struggling to find an opinion on the film, which makes sense, and it’s refreshing to see people try and figure what they think of a film instead of dismissing it. As for them calling out the retarded backlash, they said it as clearly as they could. This is not a Phantom Menace. Phantom Menace has NOTHING going for it. This at least had something, and it certainly keeps your attention. It’s fine to say this movie is disappointing, but to bash it for it’s flaws and act like it’s a disgrace is, in itself, disgraceful, when it has enough going for it to make it somewhat memorable. Nobody wants to credit anything that doesn’t make them cream their shorts in the theater. It’s ridiculous.

      And even then, the movie aside, I am shocked at how many people are acting like Mike and Jay are “wrong” or “dropped the ball” on dissecting this movie (when that wasn’t their intention; HITB is about reviewing movies, not analyzing them), but even more so the fact that people want act like it’s hypocritical of them to tell people to stop exaggerating because of Mike’s Plinkett reviews. It isn’t, at all. I love these guys, but I can’t help but feel that a good chunk of their “fans” are completely diluted by the internet mentality. You can hate a film all you want, but don’t act like a child. That’s all they’re saying.

      • Dayy

        Look, I just think we’ve become a little too forgiving of ‘average’ movies simply because they aren’t ‘absolutely terrible’. Mike & Jay have alluded to this trend themselves in previous reviews and it’s a pretty sad indictment on the present state of blockbuster movies if we have to applaud average material simply because it’s not absolute dreck.
         
        I keep comparing Prometheus to Avatar in my mind because, even though Avatar was kinda disappointing, at least when I walked out of the cinema, I wasn’t confused. I got the story; there were no problems in the movie other than that it was quite predictable and simple. It had the impressive visuals and a story that basically made sense. Prometheus only had the impressive visuals, imo.

        I don’t expect the world from these blockbusters, but I also think there’s no excuse for such incredible sloppiness as we seem to be seeing so often. Prometheus is only ‘thought-provoking’ in the sense that it created enough confusion to warrant further analysis. M & J referred to Malick’s ‘Tree of Life’ which is a genuinely thought-provoking film, as are others like 2001: A Space Odyssey.

        I also love Mike & Jay’s work and recognize that this is a review program as opposed to detailed analysis. My disappointment with the film has nothing to do with whatever’s happening on the internet; it’s a personal response that I’ve learned is quite widespread through forums such as these and discussions with my friends. I don’t think M & J dropped the ball as such, but it did seem a little inconsistent with some of their previous reviews of similar material. And that’s fine – I think it’s ok to notice that and have an opinion on it.

        • guest

           You have to take into consideration that they were specifically addressing the intense backlash to this film, and the use of hyperbole. I’m aware they alluded to people’s acceptance of average movies because they weren’t horrible, but this is not an average movie. When I think “average movie”, I think of the average, forgettable movies of today. Prometheus, despite its flaws, is sure to be the only film of its kind to come out this year. Nobody’s talking the last, truly average action film to come out. They are, however, talking about this film. You need to realize that this film of average quality has a clear separation from average films of varying degrees of quality, first of all.

           Secondly, even if that wasn’t the case, you do realize that you can express irritation towards to separate, different reactions to films, right? You can be frustrated with people who passionately love a film, and be frustrated with people who passionately hate that same film. As I said before, it’s all about the behavior. The opinion doesn’t matter. The subject of the opinion does not matter. That’s all trivial in this case; to focus on that would just be thinking on the surface. What matters is the person expressing their opinion and how they express it, and they took a moment to calmly (and somewhat jokingly) express this in regards to this movie. The second they started talking about the backlash, they were no longer talking about the movie, they were commenting on something else entirely. To think that all that comes purely from their opinions of Prometheus (which clearly they didn’t have any extreme feelings for) is rather foolish.

        • Guest

           It’s really cute that you think you have any power over what films get made. You paid for your ticket and it’s over. You know why Battleship won’t be getting a sequel? Because nobody watched it. Your opinion of the film means shit to studios. Your money and your word-of-mouth does. And any word-of-mouth, whether good or bad, is good for them.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/William-Crafton/100001283161207 William Crafton

          Amen.

      • comfortablesilence

        You are a bad guest.

        • Guest

           Yeah, how dare he use dem brain cells.

      • JoeJoe

        Films aren’t for thinking, they’re for feeling. If the thinking creates an emotional appeal, then it works. Primer created this kind of appeal for me, but most don’t have a taste for such a purposely confusing story.

        If you have to “think” about what you “feel” about a movie, then it has failed. That’s the simplest litmus test there is.

        Prometheus was structured just like Alien Resurrection. It started off strong with excellent pacing and tone and then just devolved into a mess of eye-rolling blunders.

        • Guest

           I liked Primer, and I think Prometheus did create an emotional reaction from some people who WEREN’T trying to think too hard. They let themselves be engrossed in the world and enjoyed themselves. That counts, right?

        • Guest

           You’re right. Too bad Mike and Jay aren’t as dismissive and try to rationalize it like you do.

        • SnowBall

          No?
          Plenty of films made for thinking, not feeling.
          You need to get out of the blockbuster hollywood
          -only rental shop you get all your movies from, and see some obscure part of the small small movie industry and indie films.

          96% might be about “feeling” but 4-alot more % are not.
          Or involve both, actually….

    • Lazarus Durden

       Totally agree.  You summed it up well.  I don’t agree with Mike and Jay, but I’m glad they do what they do.  I find their stuff entertaining, and I did want my money back after Prometheus.

  • http://twitter.com/JoshfromRaleigh Josh

    Too many neckbeards and fanboys coming into this film hoping for a chestbuster fest. I thought it was a great prequel.

    I loved the film.
    I loved that it was big idea science fiction and has people talking and wondering.
    I loved how it looked.
    I loved the themes and designs.

    Yes, there was some strangeness in the plot, but if you think more about all the themes it makes more sense. Whats wrong with thinking about a movie and looking forward to more?

    Also, the planet that prometheus takes place on isn’t the planet in Alien or Aliens.

    • snqrls

      Really, you got a sense of completion as you were walking out of the theater? Or did you just think yourself into a positive review?

      See, how the mystery plot was developed makes sense, and that’s okay, if it were the only plot line.  They’re on a new world, probably among the first few man has visited, they’ve found something, and yet no one talks about what they’ve found and what it means. Characters become inconsistent, and you can’t tell if the android is on the fritz or if he was programmed to infect someone just to see what the black matter did.

      There was a theme of discovery, sure, but was mixed badly with a sense of general horror, and there was no between. They kind of just hopped from, ‘because I’m curious, and because I’m a naive dumbass, I’ll open this door and touch this strange penis like organism despite numerous dead aliens behind me’ to, ‘fuck, now I know everything the audience knows and this is some dangerous shit; we can’t be carefree no more’.

      They set up one tone, shifted to inconsistency after meaningless plot device, and then skipped over some very needed scenes just to have one giant gaping plot hole. Why the fuck did the android infect a crewmate? Revenge, or laughs! Why experiment with an alien organism on your own god damn ship, and not assign a gaurd detail.

      • http://twitter.com/KengJuan Eric Han

        I believe that many of the responses on this forum are eluding to exactly this kind of mentality–which is emblematic of the ever-growing and ubiquitous subversive attitude that Theodore Roosevelt referred to as ‘The Man in the Arena’. In essence, it’s fine to have criticism–in fact, constructive criticism, feedback and communication is what makes art strive for something better. But senseless criticism, or criticism that is only used to ‘other’ a person or group of people with different ideas, perspectives and opinions is counter-productive, and is highlighted painfully by snqrls.

        While the rhetoric itself wasn’t as venomous as others, it’s even more indicative that much of the response has a large amount of filler around one key question: Why did David poison Holloway? There has been a number of thoughtful analyses across the web, but I will do my best to summarize. The whole premise and philosophical backbone of the movie was fixated on a paternal relationship–father and daughter, creator and createe, engineers and us; as well as a gross concentration on the idea of self-sacrifice (while not on the point, probably explain the first scene of the movie and why the engineers were so adamant about destroying their no-longer self-sacrificing kin). There were many lines sprinkled throughout the movie eluding to David’s interest in the creation of life and more importantly how he envies his master’s ability to create ironically himself. “Big things have small beginnings”. David’s primary motivation and reason for being is not to serve, but to follow his willful bliss to create (this may also allude to the eventual creation of Call, who is, as we probably remember, an android created by androids–and Call is, unsurprisingly, a lucid, thoughtful and emphatic android.

        Back on point. For other science-fiction movies which carry more or less the same weight of expectation and quality (say something like Inception), we can probably agree we do not see an audience so venomous and polemic. The reason why probably due to some shallow attempt to distance (or other) themselves from people they deem as inferior (for whatever reason).

        Full disclosure, I enjoyed Prometheus, but did not think it was a perfect film. In fact, I believe most of my gripes with the movie are directorial choices as opposed to writing, but this is neither here nor there since I am not acting as if someone killed my first born with a sledgehammer. With that being said, I find this whole backlash shocking, as if Prometheus did anything right, it was that it created and weaved a science-fiction movie in grand ‘genre’ tradition that would make Linda Williams and Terrence Fisher (literary namedrops lends me credibility) exuberantly proud. Science-fiction was never about the answers–it was always about the organic, unaristocratic nature of the vehicle itself that let its audience and the society that inhabits it speak for its merits. The internet is ruining this feedback loop by giving a voice to the angry, needy, desperate and blood hungry youth.

        • snqrls

          The themes didn’t work.

          The criticism of this movie comes from the fact its plot made no sense, and had characters doing… things.

          It left everything to the viewership to figure out, which is improper, and doesn’t create the best story; but, seeing as I understood what was happening, delayed as it was, I’m not angry there were more questions asked than answered.

          The reason why I replied hostily is because guy I replied to made a gross generalization. This movie has serious faults, faults which detract from everyother aspect of itself.

          Is it as bad as Phantom Menace (no clue why people are making this comparison)? No, it was worse, Prometheus is insulting because everything that needs to happen for the themes to continue just happens; and, unlike PM, Prometheus is based on plot, and not lightsaber fights.

          • guest

             You are the first person I’ve seen call this film worse than Phantom Menace. You are wrong. It’s not even a matter of opinion, I’m saying this from an objective point of view and as someone who was completely indifferent to the film when it was over. You are wrong.

          • ryan braun

            Well, then let me say this. And I’m saying this objectively. YOU are wrong. Prometheus is worse than Phantom Menace. This is not a matter of opinio, you are wrong.

            See what I did there?

          • guest

             Yes, I did, but it lacks substance (like Prometheus; ha…ha…ha….)

            Phantom Menace is easily the lesser film. If you try debating that, you’re confusing your own disappointment for objective critique.

        • snqrls

          To clarify, I found it more insulting on a number of counts.

          I spent the entire movie confounded by its premise, and what world it was set in, what expedition would send a redneck out for first contact, and what they expected to find there.

        • Lazarus Durden

          Amazing you took all that space to set up a hasty generalization fallacy.  So basically if I don’t like the film, and point out the plot holes, poorly developed characters, and story convenience then I’m just part of the “angry, needy, desperate and blood hungry youth.”Riiiight.  Funny thing is I can make all my points on my own.  I don’t need to make an appeal of authority to validate them.  Although I love me some Teddy Roosevelt, doing my thesis on him, the Man in the Arena speech?  Seriously?  That’s your rebuttal?  And literary name drops don’t lend you credibility unless they really feel that way.You know part of enjoying art is taking it in as a whole.  Criticism is valid if you make valid points about it.  Going all the way back to Aristotle’s Poetics there is a structure in drama.  There are rules that only the best writers can break and get away with.  But they are still there.  Prometheus wasn’t one of those films.  They broke rules that didn’t need to be broken, and didn’t construct a solid story with believable characters.  While I don’t believe it killed me firstborn child I’m not going to bend over backwards to say it was a great film even if I like most of Ridley Scott’s other work.I’m glad you found something you enjoyed in the film.  I disagree with your take on David.  I think he was just carrying out the will of his creator Weyland due to his programming with a touch of developing yearning to be an actual son to him, I cite him placing his hand gently on the sleep chamber in a show of affection, or an attempt at a show of affection.  All of David’s actions are to help Weyland find the Fountain of Youth.  None of his motives are selfish.  The only instance of that is when he changes his hairstyle.

  • Korra266

    Hi Mike and Jay, I really love you guys and your show! It really makes my day to come online and find a new HITB episode out :D I really appreciate the hard work you do and enjoy your style of reviewing immensely. 

    As a broke student living in a small town with a decidedly ‘stabby’ cinema, your show is a great way of deciding what to watch, so thanks for saving me all that cash and pain.

    I have to agree with Jay, that no matter what your opinion of the movie or of their review, people are really spoiled today when it comes to movies – we should complain less and learn to just enjoy things for what they are. That said, I won’t go see Prometheus, but that’s my choice, and I won’t judge others for seeing and even liking it. I think the fact that movies inspires such passion in people on both sides of the debate is kind of cool :D Live and let live and let’s all have a beer!

  • http://twitter.com/Chickengirl001 bwak bwok bwak

    I don’t think it’s as horrible as many have been saying, certainly not as bad as the Phantom Menace was, but I don’t think it deserves a ton of praise either, especially after all the hype it built up.

    I think the most common critiques that I saw come up from the hundreds of negative reviews I skimmed over were:
    1. poorly written script, none of the characters where likable, except for Michael Fassbender.
    2. Some of the actions of the crew members were baffling, all the stupid moves they made, many times I was silently yelling at the screen “WHAT?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT”
    3. The movie raised more questions than it answered.
    4. Parts of the story line were completely convoluted and didn’t help the movie at all.

    I have to agree. Visually it was stunning, looked great, loved how it looked. Yet can amazing visuals make up for everything else that was just kinda “meh”? I think that’s what most people are taking issue with. I think it’s okay to be disappointed with this film, but to completely dismiss it as being a horrible film is kind of silly. 

  • Jodobi

    Best half in the bag ending. Also you guys are geniuses!

  • Vile

    The “mysterious” black sludge and all it does in the movie is pretty clearly biogenetic experimentation, perhaps it was a mistake or a weapon of war.  The motivation of the alien is pretty clear, it thinks that humanity is a mistake, some hideous half breed that doesn’t deserve to live.  The sludge breeds and morphs with genetic code, even the creators likely had no clue exactly what it would do, and perhaps earth itself was a giant experiment. 

    • snqrls

      I’d add the following:

      -To them, it was a method of biological engineering, and they had a vague understanding of how it worked or else they wouldn’t infect an entire species.

      -Its purpose was probably to create a versatile, and incredibly strong, predator.

      -The strand they designed for humans happened to be disastrous to themselves.

      -The goo can exist in a gaseous state

      -The predators came into contact with the aliens, and spread them to different parts of the galaxy.

      Any other way and you have gaping errors in logic.

    • S G

       Even though I haven’t seen the movie yet, to me, it seems pretty clear why a lot of people are disappointed with Prometheus.
      Just reading the comments on here, it sounds like the film raises a *lot* of new questions without giving any definitive answers. And that’s not really what was “promised” beforehand. Scott himself always maintained that, to him, the most interesting questions raised by Alien revolved around the derilict, the space jockey and what the original nature of those eggs was (bio-weapons? experiment gone wrong? hostile takeover of the derilict? etc). Seems to me that none of that stuff *really* gets answered.

      But you know what? I don’t think it *really* needs to be spelled out. Some stuff works better as a mystery. Who cares what the Space Jockey was doing there? Who cares how the eggs got there? It was enough to know that the SJ had been dead for ages and that there were nasty things lurking around in his ship’s cargo-bay. The viewer could fill in the details with his own theories. Which mostly works best anyway.. kinda like having horrible violence happening offscreen and letting the viewer imagine the gruesome stuff that goes on just outside the frame. Why ruin the mystery by explaining/showing it? Unless you have a *really* good, elegant and plausible explanation, chances are your explanation will be full of holes and piss off a lot of people.

      • Pete

        Good thoughts, SG.

        The other thing about this film is the totally misleading marketing as mentioned in the above video review – there’s all these shots of people running away from ‘something’, climbing into escape pods cos they’re running away from ‘something’, hyperventilating in front of a mirror and looking sick cos hey, maybe they have ‘something’ in them….but you get to the film and NONE of what you expect happens.  

        Frankly, the whole thing is ruined in the opening sequence – so there’s these humanoid creatures that kinda kill themselves to release DNA onto a planet and presumably creating all life.  Great, movie over, thanks for your money.

      • Jim

        Actually, that’s not the biggest problem – what people are describing as ‘plot holes’ is really a series of odd moments where characters act in extremely unlikely or unconvincing ways, so you keep on thinking ‘what?’ These problems get worse and worse as the film goes on.

        The fact that the big issues aren’t resolved wouldn’t bother me at all if the movie worked in other ways. But the squid, the stuff with Weyland, the stuff with Fifield, the totally sudden and unlikely decisions at the end, takes its toll in the end, and I think that for some of us Prometheus starts to seem like unbearable trash.

        I don’t think its that I’m dumb (of course, I wouldn’t), or I don’t get it – the themes seem pretty simple to me, even if they are oblique. Rather Prometheus has major problems at the level of consistency, the way it conveys plot information and characterization. Its nuts-and-bolts stuff, really.

  • Guest

    Is it the black alien sludge from The X-Files???

  • Guest

    That was either the greatest ending I have ever seen… or the stupidest, oh I’m so confused.

    • Ran

       It was a sweet scifi ending!

  • Ronac

    Why do people keep mentioning the phantom menace in a context of this movie?
    This isn’t even a prequel you idiot’s.
    FFS

    • Shlacka

       They compared it to the Phantom Menace because it was over-hyped and was a big letdown for a lot of people.

      • guest

         But, as they pointed out, it SHOULDN’T be compared to The Phantom Menace because it has much more going for it. It has substance on a film making scale. Maybe not a writing standpoint, but film is a visual medium, and this movie pulled off the visuals and managed to at least draw you into it enough to question every little inconsistency. You can point out what holds it back. The Phantom Menace, on the other hand is just a blur of badness. Had Mike never done that Plinkett review on it, we’d still hear people complaining about the same shit (Jar Jar) and not what made that movie fail so miserably.

        Prometheus was disappointing to SOME.

        The Phantom Menace is just a flat-out awful movie with no redeeming qualities or truly memorable moments.

    • Lazarus Durden

       It was a prequel.  When they had the alien come out of the stomach at the end of the film they made a prequel.  They just didn’t want to call it that.

  • http://mrcab666.livejournal.com/ MRCAB

    Nice one, guys. 

  • Pete

    The two bits in the films that I completely don’t understand is 1, where did the maggots come from under whoevers foot when they first go into the head chamber which then turn into penis snakes?  And 2, the part towards the end (the start of the third act?) where the captain comes into Shaws room and is all ‘this is just a bit staging ground, it’s all a bit load of weapons’ – how did he work all this out?!

    The holograms showing the Engineers also completely throws me, what was the purpose of recording these events for later playback to whoever might show up?  And how are these recordings possible inside this big giant mountain of rock?  In the space ship, maybe, but in the mountain?

    I’ve seen it twice now and I just can’t get my head around it. 

    • Vile

       >recordings
      they were there because something recorded it, machines tend to just do things because they were designed to, and a camera of some sort caught the recording.  It also wasn’t just a mountain, it was a huge facility.
      >maggots
      just a side effect of the black shit, also proves that the facility was designed to facilitate life. 

      as to the captain figuring out all that shit, who knows.

      • Pete

        What you’ve said there makes utterly NO sense – the only reason for those recordings to be shown to the characters (and to us) is to advance them quickly along to the next part of the film, which is just the most stupid and lazy form of storytelling.  It would have been much more effective to have them stumble upon the Engineer with his head chopped off, and ultimately more thrilling, rather than having them being led directly there like they were on the end of a leash.  It also would have been more satisfactory to have David be able to learn the controls of the ship through his studies rather than have the holograms just show him what to do, it shows the character has developed rather than just aping what he saw someone else do.  Both sequences just scream of only being there to look all cool when viewed in 3D – for the record, the two times I’ve seen it have been in 2D because I normally wear glasses and the 3D doesn’t go well with them.

        The maggots – they are not a side effect of the ‘black shit’, they are there before any of the vases are opened/leaked, they appear to come off the bottom of someones boot, not that there was any suggestion there was a maggot problem on the ship or anywhere else they had been.  They clearly weren’t in the head cos it had been preserved for 2,000 years or whatever and they can’t have been anywhere else in the airtight chamber.

        Which brings me to another massive plot hole – the big storm, what purpose in the story or in anyones arc or the bigger picture was there to having that big storm other than to separate the two that were left behind to the rest of the crew?  There was no other suggestion that events in the mountain had any affect on the planet as a whole so why, after they have gone into the airtight chamber would it then suddenly cause the planet to have this big scary storm?

        As for the captain saying what he said, the reason this doesn’t work is because the captain has had hardly any experience of the facility or whats in it, has no idea who the Engineers are, has no idea of the history of all the markings, nothing, he’s been sitting on his ship banging Vickers (lets not even go there with that subplot…), so how can he come to the conclusion that it’s this great big stash of WMDs?!?!

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DRMR25YG3IN2R4P77NULCP2YUA Someone

           Yeah, I do find the Captain’s revelation a bit out of the blue when prior to that the whole movie was about Engineers creating us, there might or might not be God, the Engineers are extinct….

          The scientist, Shaw, had just given herself a premature C-section and suddenly this guy suddenly barge in and spouted his own theory about the whole mess. I was waiting for Plinkett to suddenly throw a pizza roll at the screen and ask:  “How do you that?” (I actually did feel that way during that scene).

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas

    For those who hated it – you’ll get a chuckle from this: 
    http://digitaldigging.net/prometheus-an-archaeological-perspective/

  • Me

    I am not a big a fan of Scott’s.  I’m not surprised the movie is sorta . . . “sucky”.

    This movie was fast-tracked into production – w/ a payday as the main focus.  As such . . . it’s not the least bit surprising, the story is disjointed and populated by idiots.  

    Sci-Fi is a very tricky genre.  An’ I’m curious to see when he and the actors made.  That said: I’ll probably watch it while high & sexing w/ some girl.

  • http://angrygaijin.wordpress.com/ C Ohara

    Awesome stuff as always.  I love the little bits of humour you two put in.  Keep it up.  I watched it twice today.

  • http://angrygaijin.wordpress.com/ C Ohara

    Mike, you ok today?  Seem a little down.

  • Y_audio

    That a director of Scott’s calibre — was not the HEAD-writer on this project . . . is a big, bright RED FLAG.

  • http://www.facebook.com/patrick.brian2 Patrick Brian

    Spoilers. I’m under the impression that the black sludge is the same substance the engineer took in at the beginning of the movie to seed Earth with life. That’s why critters were crawling out of what’s his face, his own genes were breaking down to create new organisms. Only much more slowly.
    As to why he became a smashy zombie thing; I dunno.

  • Luxojr

    The Plinketty voice trailer for this got me pumped! Need a proper Plinkett destruction of this movie ….

    • Guest

      ….Oh, should tell him?

      Okay. *Clears throat*:

      “You’re not gonna get it.”

      • SnowBall

        So your mike or jay? then logon and show us the nick fuckface

  • Jim

    I’m a hater, so apologies to the people who want to defend this – but I do think you can see how the movie at least partly broken by the different approaches to the scripts that Spaights and Lindelof took. As far as I understand it, Spaights wrote a straight prequel to Alien, which explained a little about the space jockey and told us how Weyland corp knew about the Alien. Lindelof was brought on board to remove the connection to Alien (specifially, eggs, facehuggers, all that shit) and produce a more philosophically challenging movie.

    So, I assume in Spaights original script, we probably didn’t have the dude at the beginning – for some reason (maybe the cave paintings, maybe something more prosaic) the Prometheus went to LV426, it discovered the tomb. Then the crew discovered egg chambers (not urns) and some of them got infected. I guess they woke a space jockey, but presumably he was an asshole as in the movie. Most of the crew were killed as aliens ran amok, and the jockey headed for earth, but he was infected and crashed his ship. Shaw got away in much the same manner, and left the warning beacon that the crew detect in Alien.  I imagine lots of the problems of characterisation were already here.

    I would guess that Lindelof took out the eggs and replaced them with urns of goo, he introduced some fairly simplistic religious themes, and made the space jockeys ‘engineers’ of humankind. He also introduced the stuff about the Alien ‘evolving’ through various forms into the creature we see in the later films – hence Scott saying ‘we created a version where you could see the strands of Alien’s DNA,’ ha ha ha.

    Obviously I’m speculating, but I think this is probably right, and it shows how the movie was pulled in two different directions. It needed another draft from someone who could do dialogue and character to pin it down.

    • guest

       I haven’t seen the movie. I don’t care to defend it. But I care to tell you it’s just a fucking movie.

      • JoeJoe

        Define irony: writing about a post about a movie, and then pretending that caring about a movie is silly.

        So dumb. It just a fucking interweb post and you care about it. Gunna marry it and make little dumb interweb babies?

        • Guest

          Maybe he cares about the state of our jaded, cynical culture and is venting a little bit? He’s probably killed himself by now because of annoying cunts like you.

        • Guest

           I think the word you’re looking for it is “hypocrisy”, not “irony”, and in neither case is really wrong. It IS just a movie.

      • SnowBall

        yoursofuckikfuckingstupiduknowhtat?

  • WHAT?

    In all seriousness, I know the biggest flaw with this movie. At first
    the movie was bringing up serious questions about god, religion, and our
    origin. The movie could have easily had the team just explore the engineer structure and
    have dialogues pondering the big questions. The scientists find the
    engineer in stasis and debate about what to do. We see all the
    interactions within the crew, each of the crew members’ beliefs and
    reactions to discovering their creators. David starts exploring,
    learning more about the engineers. Maybe David decides through his
    research that him, not his creators, deserves to be in control. The possibilities for
    the mysteries about the engineer’s destruction, the engineers role in
    our creation and their goals could have then been more fleshed out.
    Scrap the black goo, the cobra face huggers, the space zombie, the
    storm, the crashing ship and the shark-topus crap. Unfortunately if you
    do that all of the awesome special effect scenes have to be scrapped,
    the alien elements are mostly removed and thus you have a dilemma. How
    would you market an Alien related movie that doesn’t share any of the
    same plot elements that Alien does. People would go in expecting a
    slasher in space but then get an introspective cerebral sci-fi.  Everyone would be like “Nobodys a die’n, we want some monsters a-killin da crew” So I guess Ridley Scott and Damon Lindlelof just said “hey we’ll do both” The problem is it just doesn’t work.

    • StoneDude

       Thanks!!!  I really think you hit it on the head. What kind of movie were they trying to make.  In trying to please everyone, they created a confused film.  Trying to please the studio and trying to tell a good story.  Unfortunately and currently…you can’t do both.  Not to mention whatever fan base has been pissed off.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Samuel-Moss/712117488 Samuel Moss

    I think if you ignore all the alien sequels, the original isn’t ‘just’ a slasher film in space – it’s an odd, scary, big, unfinished story that just hints at how massive it could become. Instead we got aliens etc. big, fun, dumb monster movies about killing a large black panther. They reduced it to something small and knowable. The original has a lovecraft quality. Anyhoo, love the work chaps.

  • Asd

    Hater be hating

  • StoneDude

    I love this review and what everyone is say here. Very interesting. I liked the movie but also have reservations about it and questions. The point brought about the two screen writers (Spaights and Lindelof) I had heard before and makes sense as to why the movie has conflicting parts in it.  I would even suspect that the reactions of some of the characters was because of the conflicting scripts. – one astronaut saying how cute the snakes looks, wanting to pet it…when just moments earlier they found a pile of dead bodies.

    REALLY???!!! 
    What threw the movie for me in a really bizarre way was the opening music during the beautiful landscape scenes. We’ve seen all the trailers, clips, interviews – this was supposed to be a monster movie with big ideas. Then you watch the opening. Reminded me of older movies like “Voyage To The Bottom Of the Sea” or “Ice Station Zebra”.  It was very majestic, sweeping…okay, okay….”EPIC” movie.

    My blunder was that I wanted to love this movie.  It’s Ridley Scott, it’s returning to the “Alien” universe…I mean for “crying out loud”!!!  This was supposed to be THE SHIT. 

    But instead we get this really great looking movie, some interesting performances, some mild jumps and the film itself kind of pisses off into a drain somewhere in the third act.

    I liked where it was trying to go.  Do the big ideas…if that’s your goal.  But really do it big.  The movie also moved surprising fast for a little over 2 hours.  It needed a couple of scenes slowed down.  A little more dialog or interaction so you had a clearer idea of who the characters were. 

    I loved the decision that Shaw made at the end to go find the “engineers” home world.  Her idea is to find answers. For me, I hope she goes there and kicks their asses.

    A lot of clues were in the film to evoke questions – or maybe the script was that bad.  And whether you’re a movie going genius or someone who wants to have a good time, you should not have to be forced to think that hard to decode a film.  Come on guys (speaking to the makers of this movie)… YOU are the storytellers!!!  Tell us a good story that makes sense.

    Finally the ending.  It lacked in tension – again script problems, and not being sure what kind of movie it wanted to be.  The whole scene with the squid monster attack should have been on the edge of your seat suspenseful and it wasn’t.  The “alien” at the end just felt so goofy and out of place – it felt like the cheap endings in AVP.

    I see why some are so angry at this movie.  It set up a very specific premise in the trailers but ended up being something else.  Not a bad movie…but could have been way better than it was.  Though, I still recommend it.  It’s a good discussion piece for a film makers class.

  • AK5

    Do a Plinkett review and rip this film apart. I’m begging you RedLetterMedia!

    • guest

      You’re a moron, and I pity Mike and Jay for having to deal legions of people like you.

      • AK5

        zip it you twat, who the fucks care about what a cunt like you has to say. Now crawl back to the black goo you came from you knob

        • Guest

           HAHAHAHAHAHA

          Get laid you little faggot!

      • AK5

         F U C K   Y O U . You twat

      • AK5

         The only moron here is you, or do you mind elaborate as to why I’m a ‘moron’ ? Or do you just feel like talking smack without substance all the time? c#nt!

        • guest

           You’re a moron because you actually believe that these guys would consider doing a Plinkett review after spelling out to you, moron, that this is not a movie that warrants it. Also, I have not seen the film, and while that may come off to you as an opportunity to further declare my opinion unimportant, it means I don’t care to defend the film at all. I’m indifferent towards it. What annoyed me was your comment, illustrating your lack of common sense. Also, 3 comments is a little excessive, don’t you think?

          • AK5

            No the moron is still you. You just spelled it out, you haven’t even seen the movie but you still think it doesn’t warrant a plinkett review? This film is a perfect match. Btw, why do you think that you have the right to speak for mike and jay? Pretentious much?

          • JoeJoe

            Go look up the definition on pretentious before you call someone a dumbass.

            Yes, the moron was you all along. Plot twist!

          • AK5

             I know what pretentious means, douchebag.

          • Guest

             No you don’t, moron. And what his opinion of the film is does not matter. What matters is Mike and Jay’s opinion of the film, and if you were paying attention during the entire segment of the review telling you that this is not a movie worth getting childishly upset about (not that any movie is, really), your brain could have put together that they are NOT doing a Plinkett review.

            M O R O N

  • http://twitter.com/VaterYester Kai

    Thank you. Thank you for the most level-headed review of this movie I have found online. I enjoyed the movie and had no problem with a lot of the questions. There’s some questions that break the movie, but a lot of them are interesting questions both philosophically and plotwise from a sci-fi point of view (ie. how the goo works). Many people missed a lot of questions and details pertaining to them. I liked it.

  • Weyland Smithers

      Prometheus
    is a hilarious comedy in the tradition of “Spaceballs” and “Men in
    Black” about a motley crew of forgetful, scaredy-cat scientists who go
    into space and try to find their alien creator. They find maps in caves
    that are their invitation, but this turns out to be a hilarious trick,
    like a mousetrap for retards.

    The first scene is a giant, german-looking albino steroid guy who
    drinks some coffee out of an ashtray and gets sick and falls in the
    waterfall. Special effects reveal that he has little, tiny ladders in
    his blood called D&A. This guy looks like a member of the Blue Man
    Group, except White. There is a UFO flying overhead that is never seen
    or mentioned ever again in the movie. Just one of the many pranks that
    the writers and director have put in the movie to trick you with.

    Next we meet these two very forgetful and silly scientists and they
    get to go into space on a beautiful ship. It is taken care of by a gay
    robot who does stuff like dye his hair and dress up like Robocop with a
    colander on his head to entertain himself. If C3PO had a human face, he
    would be this guy. All of the silly bungling scientists wake up from
    hyper-sleep in time to watch a hilarious hologram of a guy in an “old
    man” mask that looks like the Emperor from Return of the Jedi. I think
    he is wearing the old guy mask to get some laughs from the wacky
    scientists, but no one notices it. There is another funny guy with
    unconventional hair and tattoos who is really mean to everyone – that’s
    so true! Guys that look like that are always dicks!

    The spaceship starts to land on the planet, and as luck would have
    it, lands exactly near the alien castle on the very first try without
    even looking around too much – another hilarious example of serendipity!
    These guys are so lucky and fun to watch! The crazy scientists go into
    the alien castle and two of the guys get so scared that they decide to
    go back to the ship and get lost, even though they have flying
    superballs that make 3D maps of everything. Those two bungling doofuses!
    They are like “Dumb & Dumber” or “Abott & Costello”. The rest
    of the gang finds more poisonous coffee and somehow the gay robot steals
    a whole pot of it without anyone noticing. He’s such a Sneaky-Pete!

    Everyone has to go back to the ship at the last minute because the
    Captian pranks them and waits until a violent storm is nearby before
    telling them about it! Haha! This guy is great! The two bungling idiot
    scientists get stuck in the castle and decide to goof-off all night.
    They try to pet a space cobra that lives in the poisonous coffee, but it
    kills them, which I think is what ALL cobras wish to do, space or no.
    Meanwhile, back on the ship, the gay robot does a HILARIOUS prank on the
    whiny scientist who wears a hipster scarf. He puts a little poisonous
    coffee in this jerk’s drink and gives him pink eye and diarrhea
    (probably). Haha! That’s like a whoopee cushion x100! Luckily the
    scientist has enough health left to hump his forgetful girlfriend one
    last time before he is all the way super-sick from the bad coffee. As
    one last prank to his fellow scientists, he suits up and goes back to
    the castle with them, even though he secretly knows he is very, very
    sick. Haha. What an inconvenience to the rest of the group – the ulimate
    prank!

    The mean lady burns him later. The forgetful scientist gets pregnant
    with a white octopus and has to take it out using Michael Jackson’s
    special oxygen bed. Now here is where the movie gets really hialrious,
    because she TOTALLY forgets that the alien squid is in there and just
    leaves to go do some errands! HAHAHA! It turns out that the funny guy in
    the old man mask is really hiding on the ship and he does some funny
    slapstick “old man walking” with a cane! I love it!

    Everyone goes back to the alien castle for yet a THIRD time, this
    time to prank the space jockey who lives there. This guy is trying to
    take a nap, but they keep buggin him! Man, I hate that too! Anyway, they
    wake him up and start yelling at him, but he is SUPER cranky and kills
    everybody really fast, exactly the way I would have done it. The funny
    guy in the old man mask gets a GIANT bump on his head, just like on Bugs
    Bunny when someone gets an anvil dropped on them! Just another
    hilarious example of the comedy stylings of Ridley Scott. Luckily,
    without too much trouble the forgetful scientist sneaks away and easily
    convinces the funny captain to crash his ship into the space jockey’s
    ship so he can’t prank everyone on earth with the old “poison coffee
    routine.” The mean lady gets crushed because the alien ship starts to
    roll like a big wagon wheel and she runs DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ITS PATH
    for big laughs from the audience. Classic slapstick.

    Now here is where the set-up with the very, very forgetful scientist
    girl really pays off with BIG LAUGHS. She goes back to Michael Jackson’s
    bed area and it turns out that the alien squid that she forget to throw
    in the garbage is now HUGE! This part reminded me of the hilarious
    movie “Men in Black” where Will Smith gets alien tentacles wrapped
    around him and screams in a high-pitched voice! Classic Sci-Fi comedy
    moments all around! Anyway, the forgetful scientist tricks the cranky
    nap-albino to go near the giant squid, and guess what? It gets him good
    so she can get away once again with plenty of luck on her side. Amazing!

    The movie ends when the forgetful scientist makes friends with the
    gay robot head that killed her boyfriend and wanted to do the same to
    her, but hey – let bygones be bygones. Forgive and forget. They sail off
    together in another ship to go have more zany, whacky space-comedy
    adventures together! Hooray!

    Oh, but wait! At the very, very, very end, an alien hatches out of
    the cranky nap-guy’s belly and spits out its dentures! I wish the funny
    guy in the old man mask had done that too! I can’t wait to see this one
    again this weekend. I think there are many, many, many other jokes and
    riddles that were never explained or that I missed while I was laughing
    at the other stuff. Intentional plot holes are the ultimate prank on the
    audience. It’s like the whole movie just gave you two middle fingers
    with simultaneous fart noises.

    Ten out of ten stars! See this one with your little kids!

    • Thrud

      But weyland, you never explain what you were doing LV223 and in the bottom of Mr burns coffin ? Long live the Engineers, propulos and eggy weggies and steaky wakies

    • StoneDude

       Thanks for the relief.  I hadn’t laughed so hard in a long time.  The interesting thing about this….it actually works better as a comedy.  One thing they could have added.  The dude using his helmet as a bong should have farted a few times during the scene when the other dude wanted to kiss, or pet that serpent type thing.  It was so close to being a funny moment.  Thanks again!!!!

    • guest

       You’re not Plikett. Get over yourself. And no, I have not seen the movie and am not defending it. I don’t care about something as unimportant as a fucking movie.

      • comfortablesilence

        So you have not seen the movie but you go on a site that was built on parody to criticize a guy who wrote a satire about it??  Hmm.

        • Guest

          Yeah, what an asshole to criticize that one for criticism at a website built on criticism, right?

      • JoeJoe

        No, you care about posting about a movie post written by a random internet guy.

        Fucking Fail.

        • Guest

          Or, he could just be irritated by some jackass trying to be like Plinkett, and really doesn’t care about the film. A film isn’t everything, you know.

          You fucking fail, sir.

          • Tyler

            Small Penis Alert

      • Guest Jr.

        “Get over yourself” ahhh, the cry of the mediocre when someone more talented is getting attention.

        • Guest

           More talented? The guy ripped off Mike’s style, you dumbass. Any idiot can do that.

          • Daemonocracy

            The butthurt is strong with this one

      • eh

        So internet comments are higher on your priorities list than movies? Wow. Just wow.

      • mark

        you are brain dead – you ARE ON A MOVIE SITE!! idiot

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3FRCAMLKUFJCYZ5Q5TLI6C7VWM Thanatos

       They really needed to add some cartoon sound effects.  It would have been perfect.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Flashingturtle Robbie Jordan

      Reading your review has been the best Prometheus experience yet, thank you!

    • http://www.facebook.com/treknologist Clifford T. Hall

      You made me remember how funny the movie was! They should have brough Rich Evans to a screening. They would not be able to resist his infectious laughs.

    • http://www.facebook.com/charles.herron.58 Charles Herron

      the beginning part where he drinks the coffee is on earth, it implies the origin of all life was created when he fell in the water and was liquified by the coffee, i am not arguing but i thought i would through out why that was in the movie, they didn’t explain it because those circumstances would be insane to explain in detail after millions of years passed and the only big bald guy we encounter didn’t feel like chatting and murdered everyone he met. The two guys who get killed by the snake vagina thing and got lost, i do think it was fair of the filmmaker to show stupid people, they do exist and it was very liberal to include them. David poising that guy, i think it was one half jealousy because he liked shaw, and one half curiosity to see what would happen. but the movie as a whole isn’t really offensive, it made mistakes but the mistakes are caused because he wanted to make an open ended film that people could discuss and talk about other than “that was neat when the hulk punched that guy” and her going of at the end was the set up to the sequel with was confirmed in august and will be released 2014. its not my favorite movie or favorite alien movie, but it was still good and it is the one alien movie that made me think about what was going on instead of accept what the tell me is going on.

    • german

      German looking?

  • Paex18

    Haha, I was wondering what you guys were doing back at Plinkett’s! The comments on here are almost as good as the review! The more I read, the more I dislike this film. When I left the theater, I was in denial. I told myself I would figure it out later and ultimately love this movie; I told myself it didn’t meet my extremely high expectations because Avengers restored my faith in the film industry and I needed something to look forward to in place of the unfathomable train wreck that will inevitably be The Dark Knight Rises. But now I’m left with the sobering reality that not even a sequel or two could fix all the plot holes in this movie–all the Binaca in the world couldn’t get the bad taste out of my mouth. The sheer thought that the Queen Xenomorph was the result of Sharktopus and Ivan Drago just ruins the entire franchise for me. Fuck you, whoeverwrotethat. Even more exciting than the prospect of an Alien prequel was the idea that a filmmaker, especially one as talented as Ridley Scott, was going to tackle the idea that humans were “seeded” on earth by an extraterrestrial race. He could have done so much with that concept! But no, the explanation was apparently written by second grader. It was something like, “oh, there’s these cave drawings and they all match, so let’s go to this planet and poke around.” WHAT?! What other evidence do you have?!? This is a sci-fi movie! It’s cool to be nerdy. But they didn’t even try. The beginning of Battleship was more interesting. And the only reason they actually got to go there at all is because some trillionaire shares their beliefs. HOW CONVENIENT. To cope with this gigantic disappointment, I like to believe that the original script was so accurate to the truth behind human origin, that the secret societies of the world safeguarding that information, namely the Zionist-Illuminati gatekeepers of Hollywood, told Ridley Scott that if he made that film he’d never work another day in Tinseltown and his entire family would go the way of Stanley Kubrick and JFK. Ya know what Scott should have done, is made a sequel to Blade Runner which showed the Tyrell Corporation evolve into Weyland Corp, thus making an actual Alien prequel. And then let James Cameron make a sequel to that. 

  • Paex18

    Haha, I was wondering what you guys were doing back at Plinkett’s! The comments on here are almost as good as the review! The more I read, the more I dislike this film. When I left the theater, I was in denial. I told myself I would figure it out later and ultimately love this movie; I told myself it didn’t meet my extremely high expectations because Avengers restored my faith in the film industry and I needed something to look forward to in place of the unfathomable train wreck that will inevitably be The Dark Knight Rises. But now I’m left with the sobering reality that not even a sequel or two could fix all the plot holes in this movie–all the Binaca in the world couldn’t get the bad taste out of my mouth. The sheer thought that the Queen Xenomorph was the result of Sharktopus and Ivan Drago just ruins the entire franchise for me. Fuck you, whoeverwrotethat. Even more exciting than the prospect of an Alien prequel was the idea that a filmmaker, especially one as talented as Ridley Scott, was going to tackle the idea that humans were “seeded” on earth by an extraterrestrial race. He could have done so much with that concept! But no, the explanation was apparently written by second grader. It was something like, “oh, there’s these cave drawings and they all match, so let’s go to this planet and poke around.” WHAT?! What other evidence do you have?!? This is a sci-fi movie! It’s cool to be nerdy. But they didn’t even try. The beginning of Battleship was more interesting. And the only reason they actually got to go there at all is because some trillionaire shares their beliefs. HOW CONVENIENT. To cope with this gigantic disappointment, I like to believe that the original script was so accurate to the truth behind human origin, that the secret societies of the world safeguarding that information, namely the Zionist-Illuminati gatekeepers of Hollywood, told Ridley Scott that if he made that film he’d never work another day in Tinseltown and his entire family would go the way of Stanley Kubrick and JFK. Ya know what Scott should have done, is made a sequel to Blade Runner which showed the Tyrell Corporation evolve into Weyland Corp, thus making an actual Alien prequel. And then let James Cameron make a sequel to that. 

    • Paex18

      sorry guys, didn’t mean to comment twice. would love to delete it if I could figure out how

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

        That’s not one mistake, but two. The first occurred when you said “plot hole,” thereby attempting to sound like an Internet Movie Genius Critic when in fact you have no idea what a “plot hole” is.

        • RonElamFan

          Alright RON, can’t wait to read your review in the New York Times. Or is it RottenTomatoes? Do you have a YouTube channel? Let me know when you sell your next screenplay and win that Oscar. I mean, share another meme. 

          • Guest

            Why don’t you show us your credentials first?

    • http://www.facebook.com/VitalemRecords Micah J Femino

       “I like to believe that the original script…” Yeah, exactly – why not jump to unfounded conclusions based on NOTHING AT ALL.  Do you know what the original script said?  No, you’re just making stuff up.  You’re wrong – this movie was totally awesome.  The plot is air-tight.  The only problem I have with it is the fact that the engineers made such of a miscalculation with how dangerous their weapon is.  If they were so advanced that they could TERAFORM – they should have made a more effective (and less dangerous) weapon.  Kind of like the replicants in Blade Runner – you make a weapon but with a definite life span.

      • Paex18

        Yea, i have no clue because it was a joke. people must be more upset about this film than i thought…

  • Guest

    What’s with all the dissertations on here… wait, you mean I coulda been watching half-in-the-bags for college credit?! FML

    • blastor138

      Fix My Lion?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753345456 Octo Seven

    In all fairness to Prometheus. It was beautifully filmed and had some amazing special effects, moments of real tension and horror too. It also wasn’t boring which means a lot in any film, though it did feel like its length of 126 minutes. It just had a stupid plot, lame characters and bad dialogue; the plot is complicated only because it was poorly written, not because it was an intricate story. Because it’s so atmospheric and well made I’d give it a 6/10. Compared to most films that come out in the cinema it’s a 10, but in the harshness of reality and film history, it’s just slightly above average.
    An example of the poor narrative: How many people actually realized that the worms in the earth were mutated by the black goo and changed into those phallic snake creatures that attacked the two scientists? Not many I’d bet. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753345456 Octo Seven

      People are praising the so-called philosophy and ‘questions raised’ by this film but there is absolutely nothing new here. Anybody familiar with sci-fi has seen all of the elements in the plot used in other stories. The premise of finding an ‘invitation’ to a set-point in space by alien ‘godlike’ overlords is the whole premise of 2001, and it’s done a lot more effectively in that. The questions about god and religion were really just fluff in Prometheus, a means to try and make the not-Bjork character seem more complex, being a religious scientist. The idea of god  is all over 2001 but it’s never vulgarly exposited as it is in Prometheus. 

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753345456 Octo Seven

        Yeah snqrls. I didn’t get why they made a point of showing the worms a few times when they walked into the chamber and breached the environment. Only when I got home i was like “oh so that’s why they kept panning to the worms”. 

      • guest

        I’m glad you brought up 2001. That’s a movie full of unanswered questions and heavy themes. I’m confused as to why that movie is praised as it is with, even FOR, its lack of answers, and this movie is shat on by some for its weak script. Watching Prometheus, having heard about how “awful” it is scripted, one thing really stuck out to me: Ridley Scott can use unanswered questions to create an eerie, unsettling atmosphere. That’s something I haven’t heard anyone bring up. They focus on the lack of answers and not how they are manipulated, and they’ll dismiss the atmosphere completely, citing the movie as “just pretty”. The Star Wars prequels were “just pretty” (once); Prometheus uses its imagery to the fullest. Had every little question been answered with some expository dialogue, then people would only complain about that, summing up their viewing experience with that classic line, “I get it already; I think I could have figured that out for myself”. I knew as soon as this movie was announced it would be another one of “those movies” that makes a good chunk of fans revert into whiny children under the delusion that they are much smarter with their criticisms than they really are. Clearly, in the case of quite a few people I’ve seen dismiss this movie, I was right.

        • JoeJoe

          Between the random vagueness, 2001 had some great scenes and some biting satire so subtle that most don’t even see it. It was also executed well, even though the movie is ultimately nothing but a collection of short stories.

          None of the creatures in Prometheus has any mystique about them and HAL had much more personality and a much more sinister tone. A computer was more horrifying!? Yes. That’s the mark of a bad execution.

          2001 was deliberately written the way it was. Promestheus was some kid’s unfinsihed homework turned in late. 

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3FRCAMLKUFJCYZ5Q5TLI6C7VWM Thanatos

           I despise the ending to 2001.  For me, the movie ends after he shuts down HAL.  It’s a great movie going just up to there.

          • Guest

             Are you fucking kidding me? The ending represents man’s further evolution through transcendence from the physical to the spiritual. It would be incomplete without it.

          • Guest

             This is me rolling my eyes.

            *roll eyes*

    • snqrls

      I didn’t; they made it seem like it solidified from the goo, rather than come from it. Since the earlier sampling of whatever it was, had normal size maggot like things in it, I just assumed it was a natural characteristic of the organic mass when it collected in large enough volumes.

      Hell, when the worms were first shown, all I could think was, ‘they have worms too, are they attracted to the black goo or something?’

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730430121 Rob Thomas

    EVERYONE! THere’s a new post on the homepage where Mike covers off many of the questions raised here!

    • guest

       Thanks, Virgin Man!

  • MarkRSchulz

    The movie does answer the question, ‘What happens when we die?’ The answer provided is, ‘Nobody gives a damn.’

    • JoeJoe

      No. The movie threw in some pretentious dialog out of no where in an attempt to make the movie look less dumb. “Hey, how are you doing today? Fine. So, about this god thing ….”.

      • Guest

         Take it easy, man. It’s just a mildly disappointing movie that someone happened to enjoy.

  • Guest

    The Little Rascals!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798725602 Ron Elâm

    If the first ship of Engineers failed it’s mission, why didn’t they send another ship? At least I know WHY they wanted to kill us off 2000 years ago. And if you don’t know this, then you haven’t done your homework.

    • snqrls

      It was way farther back than 2000 years ago…

    • KarlBunker

      Because we crucified Christ? Because we’re nasty and mean and violent, not peace-loving and gentle and good like the waxy aliens– oops, never mind.

  • Fredda

    I understand why people might be disappointed, but I don’t think Prometheus is a bad movie at all. I enjoyed every minute of it. It’s visually stunning and there are some very good scenes in there. The story doesn’t fully work, and as me and my friends were exiting the cinema we had long rabid conversations about the many small inconsistencies. What we all agreed on, though, was that we enjoyed the experience and that the movie made us hungry for more.

    Bring on a sequel. I’ll watch it.

  • Pingback: What’s Wrong With Prometheus (a Partial List)

  • sam

    Rocky Balboa is probably the best example of a filmmaker visiting a franchise they worked  on when they were younger and being successful.

  • Waynepollock

    Does no one else question how guys as poor as mike and jay can afford to see a 3d movie? That doesn’t seem logical to me. Also did the review really happen or was it just in their collective imaginations?

    They just left so many unanswered questions.

  • http://www.facebook.com/VitalemRecords Micah J Femino

    I really enjoyed Prometheus, but since there are so many opened questions, those ideas that you have in your head that make you like this movie, will be destroyed by the filmmaker that gets the contract on the sequel.  Remember Alien 3?  So for now I’m able to have a great movie experience.  It seems to me that Ridley Scott is making movie franchises (Robin Hood and Prometheus). If he does the same with Blade Runner, it’s probably not a coincidence.

  • bobafett61

    holy crap.. The little rascals ending nearly had me in tears.. good job dudes!

  • Jakob Dahl

    I hope that MIke and Jay won’t be in plinketts house like this in the next episode

  • Greg Foote

    great impression of Kirk!!!

  • http://robbinsfilm.tumblr.com/ Eric Robbins

    Is it just me, or was there a massive continuity error in the whole concept of Prometheus? The idea of exploring the Space Jockey who was in the big chair, from Alien. But in this, he gets into the chair to fly the ship, but then gets out of the chair to chase Elizabeth Shaw. So… what was in the chair? If it was just his suit, why was there a hole in the chest like a chest burster got him? Wasn’t that the whole mystery of the Space Jockeys? But in this movie there wouldn’t be a dead body/suit in the ship….. hello? Anyone?…

    • blastor138

      The planet the Nostromo visits in Alien is different than the one in this movie.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=684081946 Phillip Monroe

       They also didn’t find the Prometheus ship either in that wreackage in ALIEN either, so that was my first giveaway that it’s not the same planet. They were getting that “S.O.S” signal in ALIEN.

      Anywho! I don’t see the whole complication of this movie. A lot of things make sense, but I think a lot of people were expecting a more strict prequel to Alien than having an entire series before it and it very well could happen. On wiki Scott has already stated beforehand that although Prometheus “share strands of Alien Dna so to speak”, and takes place in the same universe, Prometheus explores its own mythology and ideas”  and that the script “..precedes the story of Alien but is not directly connected to that franchise…”   So we need to stop the NerdRage and just let it flow.

      I’m more curious to see what those murals on the caverns were all about and why they had an image of an Alien Queen looking like a Jesus piece.

      But that’s all in time.

  • http://twitter.com/heribertraab Heribert Raab

    stallone with rambo and john rambo did god job redo his own franchise.

  • http://www.facebook.com/JoeyCorrao Joe Corrao

    Wait I’m confused…you DON’T repair VCR’s?

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/IZCCU72WIU6WWCLETFLMAKXPVA JonD

    I loved the movie… It does have a point and a reason behind things but they aren’t explained yet and it’s left up to you to figure it out as best as you can.

    So many movies fail to do that now. It makes you think, and that is pretty rare these days.

  • Tap Yatoes

    Gigli “made people talk” too. Didn’t make it a good film.

    • guest

      That’s a horrible comparison. Gigli made people talk because of the real life relationship between its stars, and because of how undeniably awful that film is. People discussing and talking about a film is not the same as people saying, “Can you believe how bad dat movie wuz?”

      • Matthew Macgibbin

        Actually my coworkers and I were having an unbelievably awful discussion about Prometheus. Yes it looked pretty. That’s it’s only redeeming quality. That’s it.

        • guest

          Really? That’s it? Not that the visuals and imagery, and even the hanging, unanswered questions, were used to create an eerie atmosphere, or Michael Fassbender’s performance, or the fact that it held your attention enough to find its faults? It doesn’t matter that you and your friends had a unanimous opinion of it being “awful”, what matters is that their are people debating its quality, interpreting its events, etc. Not the same thing as Gigli, at all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

    Is anyone else getting “Sorry, this episode is temporary unavailable”? Is this a RLM thing or a Chrome thing or a Linux thing?

  • Morgueanna

    You talked extensively about the movie while never really addressing a lot of the legitimate problems the movie had- you vaguely discuss your ‘disappointment’ and then gush over how pretty it was.  I’m really ‘disappointed’ too- in the fact that you guys didn’t go for the jugular on this one.  The movie was bad.  Discuss those points. Don’t put on kid gloves and dance around the problems.  The characters were poorly written.  They had no realistic motivations.  They put themselves in ridiculously bad situations over and over.  And not a single character’s death ultimately meant anything.  People died and it didn’t affect the plot or the characters.  In Alien, every death was important.  In Prometheus, it was what they did when they couldn’t figure out how to wrap up the script.

    • http://www.facebook.com/CoolPapaE Thomas A Gamble

      Hey Morguenna, they are called plot devices.  The goal is to move forward with the story…I would say Holloway’s death meant something to someone.  When Shaw saw the last few deaths, she did not have time to lament.  She was trying to save her own life.  I would say it was more ridiculous that she jumped like superman with her guts cut open, but that is just me.  The film did make sacrifices in order to get to the main point…which is unanswered questions.  Most people don’t like questions.  It makes them think.

      http://coolpapae.com/2012/06/08/prometheus-12-sail-into-the-mystery/ 

    • guest

       You know what I want? I want a Plinkett review comparing Prometheus to the Star Wars prequels to illustrate the difference between the “pretty visuals” working as an asset to the movie and creating actual atmosphere, and the Stars Wars prequels SFX being obtrusive and limiting it to a point of being a blur of badness. At least Prometheus draws you in enough to point out the inconsistencies and faults of the script, as opposed to the Stars Wars prequels being so mind-numbingly dull that for years fans resorted to the same old surface criticisms (Jake Lloyd, Jar Jar, Darth Vader screaming “NO”, etc.)

  • Inkall

    I fully understand where Mike and Jay are coming from in their comments about the story, especially when basing things ONLY in the frame of Alien and Aliens…

    However as a massive fan of the Xenomorphs and the universe behind the movies, going back into books about the universe, the comics and so on I felt Prometheus was utterly fantastic and fit into that extended universe stunningly well.

    All the various questions and themes that come up in Prometheus are ones which have often come up in the extended universe, things like the motives, actions and workings of the company, the treatment of artificial life forms, why the xenomorphs are like they are, are they natural or created, biological experementation and so on.

    Really this film for me was nigh on perfect.

    • JoeJoe

      … and some people drink their own urine.

      • Guest

        …and others can’t let an opinion be.

  • Pingback: Prometheus (2012) Redux « Minty's Menagerie

  • http://twitter.com/FACLC FACLC

    It’s worth noting at the end how when the bag of trash catches the dumpster at the midpoint and spills much of its contents, at the end there’s still…. Half in the Bag.

  • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

    I also was looking forward to a Plinkett-style autopsy. I certainly think that once it hits the second act the “Nothing makes sense” litmus test certainly applies. I do agree that it started off terrific and that it was pretty, and that it’s not a “terrible” movie on the level of a SW prequel, but the actions of the supposedly cream-of-the-crop brilliant scientists/experts were so questionable, and at times downright stupid, that it really interfered greatly with my ability to identify with the characters and therefore relax and be absorbed in the narrative.
    Among my chief complaints, and I haven’t seen this addressed by anyone, is that I’ve been waiting like 30 years to see who the Space Jockey is. The revelation that he’s just a giant human being with a crazy space helmet was fine. Inspired, even. What wasn’t great was that when we finally get to see one of them interacting with humans after slogging through some difficult plot twists*, this ancient and wise, or at the very least highly intelligent creature basically stomps around like a Frankenstein monster and is easily outwitted and defeated by one of it’s own creations. Not really that menacing or scary at all. And don’t try and tell me that this isn’t a horror movie.* Robot: Oh hey! So you had that alien baby removed from your guts, the one that I decided needed to stay in your guts in hypersleep until you got back to Earth, ostensibly because we want it for our bioweapons division. Good for you! Come on in and meet the CEO of the company that lied about being dead. Want some tea?Girl: No thanks. Hey, it sucks that my boyfriend didn’t tell me that he was infected, even though we’d just had sex, huh? Anyway, I’m not going to fly at you and gouge your eyes out for trying to force me to go into hypersleep against my will with an alien fucking fetus in my guts that could obviously very easily be removed by a super robot such as yourself, with hands steady enough to swish numerous basketballs on a bicycle without looking. Whatcha up to?

    Robot: We’re going to go talk to one of the aliens that supposedly created all life on earth, not to mention the human race. Wanna come along? Because we totally trust you to accompany us on this most momentous occasion in which the Boss is going to talk to the Creator and ask for Immortality, even though we didn’t trust you with the knowledge that the Boss was alive and we just totally made your boyfriend into a lab experiment to see what would happen if we fed him a random space slug bioweapon.

    Girl: There’s nothing fishy about that! I’d love to come. There’s no chance at all that you would offer me up as a sacrifice to this weird alien, or throw me at it for a snack if it decided it was hungry, or it needed fresh womb-cells cut from a screaming woman to make human immortality work. Let’s hit it!

    • blastor138

      What makes you think the Jockey they woke up from cryosleep was one of the Jockey scientists?  He could have just been the Jockey the Jockey scientists hired to fly the ship to Earth.

      • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

        Hey, I could even handle that he had, like brain damage from being in cryosleep for thousands of years. But it should have been addressed somehow, given voice in the film. This was the first walking, breathing, non-holographic Space Jock that we’ve ever seen laid down on film; I was expecting something a little more grandiose or challenging than grunting and smacking people around like a bigfoot.

        Ya know, something to distinguish it from the mindless “Aliens” that we’ve seen in the series so far, other than the fact that it can fly a spaceship for two minutes (which seemed like it was basically there to tie it to the pose of the original Space Jockey).

        • http://www.facebook.com/blyth Warren Blyth

          Well, there is that whole part of the movie where the Engineers have
          a) clearly targeted earth in their navigation room
          - and
          b) are going to travel there with a shit load of deadly black slime.
          so, it is pretty clear they planned to wipe out humanity.

          Neither of these claims is ambiguous, btw. People seem to love to hate this movie based on their memories of events, instead of based on what was actually shown in the movie.

          They establish a cargo hold outside the navigation chamber, and it is filled with thousands of containers. They even say this through dialogue, in case you can’t see it. They also have an extended hologram sequence where earth is repeatedly shown and singled out with green targeting lasers. These green lines really pop out aesthetically, because the rest of the holograms are dull blues and reds and grey. During the memory/dream hologram playback (that david watches and dances around in) you can see dozens of green “lasers” connecting to earth. At the end, when the single Engineer plots a course to earth again, you see just one green “laser” connecting to earth. so. it’s pretty clear all the ships were going to go to earth back then. That was the plan 2000 years ago (after we killed christ), just before everything went to shit for the engineers.

          So this one Engineer gets into cryo, ready to murder humans, just before take off. Then he wakes up to find humans in his ship. he stares at them in shock until David relays Weyland’s arrogant question. So he follows through with this mission to kill all the fucking humans.

          I don’t see why the engineer’s motivation in killing the humans is so hard for people.

          • CAP

            Was totally disappointed with the film, but would point out that everyone’s assuming the Engineers were heading to earth with the black goo in order to wipe out human life. In fact, the goo may not wipe out humans but transform them into something else, maybe something superhuman. The BF gets fired before we get a sense of what he might become. The annoying mohawk guys returns to the ship with what look like some enhanced physical powers. Maybe the Engineers are trying to weaponize human beings.

            That said, the film’s substance was so thin that I don’t really care much about the answer to this question. Big disappointment.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Hughes/718206723 Jason Hughes

      If they were going to bring her along the very least they coulda done was throw her in a brass bikini, like any self-respecting business man would have.

      • Paex18

        double accurate.

    • Paex18

      fucking accurate.

  • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

    One more comment: while I was disappointed in the movie, it didn’t rock my world or make me “greatly upset”. That said, I have devoted a bunch of brainpower to picking apart the movie’s flaws, and examining where it doesn’t make sense and why it doesn’t. 

    My initial reaction to this review (and it may be knee-jerk) is that I have a hard time swallowing a comment like “people who get upset over this movie should stop watching movies” from the peeps who brought us so many (glorious) hours of how certain Trek and Star Wars films are flawed in such excruciating detail. I’m scratching my head as to why this one (kind of) gets a pass where something like Crystal Skull gets a full-on Plinkett proctology exam.

    • blastor138

       My thoughts exactly.

      My theory is that these guys actually like Ridley Scott and most of his movies (as opposed to Lucas who, as a director, only has THX-1138, American Graffiti, Star Wars (the 1977 one), the prequels and Red Tails to his credit).

      • guest

         Or they’re being perfectly honest and objective…you know, like they always have been.

        • blastor138

           No one is completely honest and objective in the reviewing game.  Everyone has a bias about everything whether they realize it or not.

          • guest

             Right, this is true. But what evidence is there to suggest that they have a hard-on for Ridley Scott? They seem pretty indifferent to the film, don’t you think? It just seems like you’re projecting something onto their, rather non-extreme, opinions. Have you considered that?

          • JoeJoe

            Haywire received an 80% favorable review from critics just because it was directed by a known director – audiences rated it 40%.

            The did the same for Roman Polanski, a known pedo-rapist, for The Ghost Writer.

            Both are terrible, terrible movies.

          • guest

             Um…okay…?
            That has absolutely nothing to do with the conversation here. Blastor is just projecting bullshit, and you’re not helping. Like, at all.

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3FRCAMLKUFJCYZ5Q5TLI6C7VWM Thanatos

             Because Jay is basically making excuses for him the entire review?  It’s clear they hold him in high regard.

          • Guest

             That’s not evidence, that’s speculation bordering on desperation. They weren’t making excuses, they were making valid points. It’s not an excuse to point out Ridley Scott’s mark on cinema, it’s context. The fact that he can’t express his opinion without people questioning him and projecting bias on his part is just insulting. Not to mention, and I don’t know if you caught this, but Mike was pretty much right there with him on his perspective of the movie, but not quite as irritated by filmgoers’ tendencies to exaggerate their disappointment to the point that it’s kind of sad. The fact that some of the people here ARE questioning him for the sake of validating their stance that this truly is “one of teh worst films evar” is an example of that itself.

          • Guest

             Multiple times Jay said he wasn’t convinced something was a flaw because he “knows” the people involved weren’t stupid.

            THAT is speculation bordering on desperation.  Jay’s entire portion of the review is speculation bordering on desperation because he likes the people who made the movie, and is hesitant to bash what is clearly crap.

          • Guest

             No, it’s not speculation bordering on desperation on his part because it’s clear that the people involved gave somewhat of a shit for the very valid reasons the both of them mentioned. And even if that weren’t the case, that point would not stand as being certifiable proof of bias. There’s not a single moment where either of them mention their love for Scott. You are only further proving my point regarding people’s desperate need to validate their extremely childish reactions to the film for the sake of rationalizing their behavior (the very behavior they brought up and talked about in the video). You’re focusing on details to the point of projecting things that aren’t there (very much like the people who defend this film by “explaining” everything that didn’t make sense, correct?), and in the process have failed miserably to see something so simple.

          • Guest

            It’s even more disappointing because people “gave a shit” while making the movie.

            It’s worse – because several key people (*coughwriterofLostcough*) completely ruined what should have been a good movie otherwise.

            Almost like George Lucas did……

          • Guest

             Completely ruined? No. The SW prequels were completely ruined because Lucas had control of everything. Here, you that was not the case, so therefore when one person (the writer) fucks up, it does not mean the whole movie is a bomb. The script is incredibly flawed, therefore the film is inevitably flawed, but isn’t terrible on the whole. If you want to talk about disappointment, that’s one thing. If you want to talk actual critique, you need the process and acknowledge every aspect of the execution.,

          • Guest

            Yes, and instead of just 1 person ruining it (Lucas) there were two people who ruined it here: Ridley Scott and the writer of Lost.  They single handedly ruined the work of dozens of other people who had created quality acting performances, smart editing, and great CG graphics.

            If you don’t want your script to be bullshit nonsense that doesn’t make sense, don’t hire the writer from Lost.

          • Guest

             Not to mention, if there is any bias whatsoever on Jay’s part, I would speculate, quite rationally, that it’s his clear irritation towards the people touting this film as “the new Phantom Menace”, which it is not by any stretch, even with the weak script. And seeing how people are reacting to his apparent defense of the film by projecting so much, I completely understand why that bias would be there. You fuckers are thick.

          • Guest

             They don’t understand why people are calling it The Phantom Menace.  People are calling it that because of how DISAPPOINTING it is, not how bad a movie it is.

            None of the CG, the characters, the atmosphere, the tension, all the things they point out the movie does good that Phantom Menace does bad matters – both movies are MASSIVE DISAPPOINTMENTS.

          • Guest

             Whether or not they understand that, they DO address one’s right to disappointment and were merely commenting on how people should express them: like adults.

          • Guest

             I guess making 90 minute long youtube reviews is expressing disappointment like adults then?

          • Guest

             Maybe he’s “hesitant” to bash what is “clearly crap” is for the very reasons the both of them said it wasn’t “clearly crap”. They questioned the script, as it should be, and praised the film making, as it should be. Neither of them are wrong.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Hughes/718206723 Jason Hughes

         Red tails made way more sense than this schlock fest. I now shall flog myself 20 lashes for saying that…

  • http://robbinsfilm.tumblr.com/ Eric Robbins

    Did anyone else find it DISGUSTING that the fetus sac burts open into Shaw’s wound, and then the robot staples her up. As in staples the wound up, with a half gallon of alien/human placenta juice, just sitting inside the gaping incision? Talk about your infections guys. Guys?

    • blastor138

      It’s pretty clear that the Prometheus has absolutely no quarantine or disinfecting procedures.

  • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

    Possibly one of the reasons that people are scratching their heads at this movie is that while some find the plot twists and reactions of characters absurd, or nonsensical (YMMV), the dialogue was fairly crisp, without any Big Dumb Quotable moments. Like “You know what happens when a toad gets struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.” Or the nuclear fridge moment. This was full of the other kind of fridge moments, the kind that have you going “wait a minute” minutes or hours later, as you’re staring into the fridge for a snack.

  • Frotality

    cinematically brilliant, narratively retarded, but michael fassbender impersonating peter o’toole is amusing enough to eek out a recommendation.

  • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

    To expand on an earlier point (and at the risk of trolling):

    If it’s about going out to space to meet God and being disappointed/horrified by what you find, that’s okay – we call that kind of horror “Lovecraftian.” But when you’re dealing with Great Cthulhu or a proxy thereof, the best you can hope for is to somehow survive it, albeit not unscathed.

    It’s not satisfying to simply break into his house, play with his toys (horrifying/gross as they may be) and then tie his shoes together and watch him trip and fall off his cloud. That’s something I’d quantify as “Beanstalkian Horror”. 

    As applies to Prometheus, I think more of the plot should have been about dealing with the Engineer as an antagonist, and for him to made a force to be reckoned with.  For example, instead of a robot feeding our hero space grubs for god knows what reason, what if the Engineer was woken up in Act 2 and started fucking with the crew by sending various forms of biological weapons at them? Why not have our intrepid crew deal with threats coming at them from all angles? Big brute monsters to bash at the doors and windows, sneaks to chew on wires and stuff bananas in their proverbial tailpipes, gross goo stuff to infect their bodies and turn them against each other are a few things off the top of my head. And then you could still save some “I’m physically tougher than you, also” stuff for an endgame, when the Engineer has to take on some form of Ridley’s load lifter. Or something.

    I think that would be more satisfying than a movie that seems like half philosophical/religious speculation and half horror (both body horror and survival horror), and leaves you wondering what it was supposed to be, because it ultimately succeeds at neither thing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Hughes/718206723 Jason Hughes

       Here’s what shoulda happened: When they get to the planet they find the Engineer in cryo. They get him up and he is like “yo, homeys. I drew that star map and I am Prometheus here to give you some toys. Go play.”

      • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

        Sounds like a HISHE version.

  • James Tolson

    i dunno if anyone has mentioned the fact is that the moon they go to is lv422 and the planet in alien and aliens is lv426 orbiting the same planet.. so if they kick off the alien evolution thing how does the eggs get onto another moon by the time nostromo touches down?

    • Guest

      The room they enter in Alien on lv426 is a cockpit of one of the spaceships, you can tell by the pilot seat and the alien sitting in the seat.  Since there were “More ships” we can safely assume there were more Engineers.  The Engineer sitting in the pilot seat in the cockpit found on lv426 has a burst chest.  This implies that on lv422 the new alien at the end of the movie, evolves further into a queen, lays eggs, eggs hatch into face huggers which then infect one of the Engineers who then try to escape only to crash land on lv426 and have a fresh new alien burst out of his chest, which based on alien biology will turn into a queen without the presence of the psychic mind connection of a current queen nearby. Said new queen then lays eggs and without any inhabitants to feed on, dies of starvation leaving her unhatched eggs, which then infect the travelers who stumbled upon the cockpit in the first alien movie “Alien”.

      • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

        That’s a lot of leaping, my friend. Any number of other scenarios might have happened, including:

        a) The Xenomorphs are a related project, but different species, and the Jockey of that craft may have been set up by his own people as an experiment.

        b) Said Jockey may have actually discovered the Xenomorphs on some planet and been on a mission to return them to his home planet when one of the eggs hatched, forcing him to land (after he woke up). Also, he may have been part of a fleet of ships on this mission, and the rest of the critters seen in Prometheus may be different cultures based on the chameleonish dna of the Xenomorphs. He may already be in his crashed derelict ship when the Prometheus makes its journey.

        c) Said Jockey may have been taking the Xenomorphs to invade some planet (maybe the Earth!) when one of the eggs broke free and he had to make a landing. 

        d) Said Jockey may have been smuggling something for a notorious Engineer gangster and dropped his cargo at the first sight of an Imperial cruiser. As payment he was required to smuggle much more dangerous cargo: facehugger eggs! And then one of them breaks free and infects him and he crashes his ship and the Xenomorph breaks free of the ship and roams LV 426 with a mysterious, unexplainable conflict between shooting first and not shooting first.

        e) Said Jockey may have been terribly distraught after discovering that his girlfriend took her own life because she was said after the Jockey was exiled from his home planet. In his despair he decides to let one of the facehuggers.. um, hug his face. The irony is that she took fake black goo that only makes it LOOK like she’s pregnant with a horrible alien seed (in fact it’s just gas) and woke up from her coma just as the xenomorph bursts out of his chest. In her despair she disintegrates herself with a Jockey Disruptor, and her spirit now lingers as a blue mist in his ship that reacts when broken.

        • Guest

          They say the simplest explanation is the likely the correct one.  The ship which the Space Jockey is in crash landed.  —>

          A- Related project but different species? so they have a related project where the final Xenomorph in question looks very similar to the Xenomorph at the end of Prometheus which is 3/8ths human 1/8th biological weapon and 4/8ths Engineer? AND has a similar extending/secondary mouth and eggplant shaped head?B- They wouldn’t hold the egg’s in the cockpit of the ship.C- They wouldn’t hold the egg’s in the cockpit of the ship.

          D- now you’re just trolling

          E- more trolleriffic

          • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

            I thought I was bein’ funny.

            I don’t recall the eggs ever being in the cockpit. Rather, they were at a sublevel deep beneath the pilot’s chamber.

            I didn’t think the thing at the end of Prometheus looked much like the Xenomorph. If it was the Xenomorph, why wouldn’t it look exactly like the one in the original movie, since Engineer DNA is like identical to human?

  • Ross

    Martin Campbell directed GoldenEye then returned to james bond with Casino Royale, regarding your question of directors who have returned to franchises

    • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

      Also, Martin Scorsese routinely leaves “gangstery” cops-and-robbers stuff to do other kinds of movies, sometimes for a decade or more, before returning to the genre.

      Peter Jackson is also returning to Middle Earth after about a decade of “other stuff”. I suppose you could argue that he never really left the “fantasy” genre, though. And whether or not he’s “successful” remains to be seen.

  • Hiver

    hahaha… great stuff guys. and i say after watching the real review first.

    i just watched the… movie a few hours ago.
    great ending.

    i mean this one in this review.

    i…dont..know… i start feeling like jay in that other review.

    have to go… bye…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Hughes/718206723 Jason Hughes

    Emperor voice: “Stop asking perfectly logical questions!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jim-Copeland/699951605 Jim Copeland

    I liked it until I heard about Alien Jesus… then I just facepalmed…

    • guest

       Makes sense to me.

      No, really.

  • BenjaminSantiago

    I really like how Jay says “I was big into Lost…” like he is a rape victim or something.

  • Guest

    What was that black goo?

         Seems the black goo came from the vases which were described by the Captain as weapons.  As we can see injesting the liquid changes you, Engineer’s head exploding and the main character’s male counterpart transforming into something. I doubt they had cargo bay rooms full of weird alien cum.

    How did the “prerecorded” Weiland know where to look?

         Since we know he wasn’t really dead, it could quite possibly have been an actual live video of him.

    What was the point in revealing that Charlize Theron’s character was Weiland’s daughter?

         To introduce the “Every child want’s it’s parents dead” idea.  Basically to introduce her hatred for him.

    If the Engineers landed on earth and created life on earth then why is there millions of years of dinosaurs before us?

         The dna needed time to go from soup to humans, monkeys share 99% of our dna they could have been the failed branch that came from the Engineer soup that was accidentally planted in our waters.  Accidentally because the Engineer who drank the suicide juice at the beginning of the movie and the Engineer’s alien race don’t seem like the kind of people who would seed planets.  Especially if they make genocidal WMD’s like the black goo vases.

    The last Engineer tried to fly his ship away and it crashed, so he came after Charlize Theron and the main character for revenge.

    The two guys got lost at the beginning of the mapping.  Then they got stuck in the tunnels due to the storm at which point in time they were no longer lost and were now exploring the caves.

    Why would the crew go on the mission without briefing? Money… according to “Alien” in the future people would go on “jobs” and know of only the pay and general requirements for the job. Then they would go into deep sleep and wake up years later at their destination job.

    Why make a star map to a weapons facility? Maybe they didn’t, there were several planets on that map, they landed on a moon lv422, maybe the Engineer’s planet is the planet of which the Moon belongs to.

    Why run in a line?  Panic instant reaction, run away from object that will cause death, quickest path from one point to another…. a line.  Only midway through the running did the main character start straying away from Charlize during the sprint.

    Why did the engineers want to come to earth to kill us? Quote David, To create one must destroy.  New planet to conquer, destroy inhabitants.

  • Sierra

    what about parallels to Sphere?!

    • blastor138

       Queen Latifah was in this movie?

  • Cabe412

    my favorite part of the movie is the super sophisticated medical machine, that even has a super awesome advanced laser to open up a person with no real physical damage, just finishes up with staples. Like in the future everything is awesome until the end, staples will fix the problem…well I guess that was kind of an allegory for the whole film…

  • http://twitter.com/Nephlabobo Neal Power

    I agree with this review.

    Not the worst ever, just mildly disappointing with a lot of vague questions that didn’t need to be raised.

  • gooch

    I completely agree with all your sentiments, the movie was great up until weyland was introduced and then the whole thing got a little too “losty” but a very well made if not overly ambitious movie

  • Grub Fisher

     yes, they’re called plot devices, but unless they’re executed with very high craftsmanship, they’re generally considered bad. really, really bad. because you were either too lazy or too unoriginal to come up with something uniquely entertaining/clever. you could easily blow up the death star if darth vader accidentally dropped a pile of proton torpedoes into the explodey hole, but that’s stupid.

  • Ogma

    Why is the space jockey in the first ALIEN like 30-feet tall and these “engineers” (on identical looking sets) are only like 9-feet tall…  The least of my issues with this piece of garbage, btw.

  • Korra266

    I would love to see Ridley Scott doing a ‘Dead Space’ movie. could be good?

  • Blah

    I can hear both of your voices echoing. This completely breaks the fourth wall. How am I supposed to believe that you are two VCR repairmen?

  • Danielbringmann

    the only reason prometheus sucked was the audience was promised Aliens and got tentacles.
    the rest is just ripping on the movie.

    • Dfernandezfoe

      I think it was more along the lines of:

      People expected aliens and got penis shaped tentacles instead. 

      Ridley Scott even stated quite early on that this was only loosely based on aliens and that he wasn’t going to include our favourite face-hugging-chest exploding monster. Everyone still ignored that and screamed for aliens. I’m frankly glad he didn’t put him in. 

      We’ve got enough people in hollywood trying to put a “spin” on old icons. Let alien remain an awesome icon of the past rather than potentially shitting on it in an attempt to milk money.

      • Danielbringmann

        i think if you use the Weyland name from the alien universe you should include the alien monster, otherwise i think your just using it as bait to get people to see your movie. if you make a movie about a guy called James Bond then the audience will think of the agent 007. so indirectly your saying your gonna make a 007 flick… 
        i think Scot would have been better of just making a movie without all the alien references, forget the sets from the first Alien movie, the Weyland corp and Peter Weyland…. you will just confuse the audience by signaling one thing and doing another.

      • Red_Castle

        A ‘spin’ on the Alien universe is exactly what we did get with Prometheus. That’s the first of many problems with this movie. If Scott had just made a prequel as he originally intended then maybe it wouldn’t have turned out as bad as it did.

  • Red_Castle

    Actually I don’t think you did. I was playing devil’s advocate.
    Whether one movie is better than another is a matter of personal opinion and not fact.

    • Guest

       Actually, you can objectively analyze a film and decide if it’s better or worse than another. Phantom Menace is easily the lesser film. If you actually prefer it to Prometheus, than state your opinion as an opinion. Don’t say, “It’s worse”. Say, “I like it less” or “I hate it more.”

  • justaguyDP

    A director that years later went back to his roots and made another film just as sound as its predecessor?  I would say James Cameron – Terminator (’84) and Terminator 2:  Judgment Day (’91).

    The story / movie logic, character development, plot holes, etc. were just terrible in Prometheus.

    Personally, I think the best sci-fi doesn’t intentionally ask big questions but in the end some how manages to do so.  Usually, the big questions are posed subtly within a finely woven narrative.

    Examples:  Inception and The Road.

    The only props that I can give Scott is that the DP work was extremely nice.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_M72TWVFVDHU4KTW2YN536PZIEQ Jason Ross

    Why are Mike and Jay sweaty? Do I smell buttsecks?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003098350968 Siddharta Mitterberger

    great episode, loved it.

    was a bit oversaturated at time though

  • Art DeLong

    You guys know there is absolutely ZERO-talent involved in making contrived, cryptic non sequitur bullshit when trying to make a film appear deep and mysterious. All you have to do is make inferences and allusions to relationships between plot points with little explanation. Fans will then argue and theorize to no end in trying to fill the gaps, while the filmmaker, who thinks he’s so clever, just sits back and smirks. A good example is Richard Kelly of Donnie Darko fame. He is the Master of Allusion. He is also a douchebag. 
      
    Fans of Ridley Scott assume he is an intelligent and talented filmmaker. 
    In the case of Prometheus, we don’t want to believe for an instant that he would stoop to ‘weird for the sake of weird” just to artificially create a profound vibe in his film, but would instead make deliberate decisions regarding vague elements to advance a story. This is why Jay is in limbo about about his like/dislike of the film, because he craves more facts that bear out it’s vageries. He wants to believe. Mike however, is skeptical of Damon Lindelof’s trademark smearings of obscuration a la Lost.
    Myself, and any writers with some talent (like you guys) know you could create that kind of bullshit all day long. 

    • Guest

       They gave it credit on a film making scale, not from a writing stand point……
      God, their fans are stoopid.

      • Art DeLong

        I was hanging out at my boat dock and chatting with a guy that was fishing. Suddenly, he reeled in and unhooked a round goby, a destructive, invasive species in Lake Erie accidentally introduced around 1990. He immediately, with much ferocity and conviction, stomped it to death right there on the dock. I believe that’s how the Engineers see us. An aberration, accidentally created and now must be responsibly eradicated. At least I’m sure that’s how they’d feel about you.

        • Guest

           Yeah, how dare he try to correct someone on their failure to understand what took place in the video they are commenting on.

        • Guest

           Hey, that really hurts, man. I mean I was almost aborted, but what you just said…man, that’s fucked up.

          ha….ha….ha….

        • guest

          1. The Engineer knows he’s trying to kill a tool-using intelligent creature advanced enough for interstellar space travel, not a dumb fish caught on land. So why is he stomping around grrr-arrg! trying to kill them with his bare hands? Why isn’t he putting on some sort of powered armor and wasting everyone with bullets, phaser blasts, napalm, rockets, etc? Or better yet why isn’t he training an x-ray or gamma ray laser or something on Shaw from his own ship and blasting her with it through the walls? Or isn’t there even a single shuttle type craft on board his ship that he could remotely order to ram into the life pod Shaw is in? Wouldn’t the engineer at least like to pick up a big WRENCH to club her with? Like, he’s a god-genius and he’s a mute, totally non tool non technology using frankenstein monster?

          2. Humans and Engineers are a 100% DNA match. 100%! I don’t know how to increase font size or boldface here but I will say it a couple more times 100% DNA MATCH. 100%!

          So the analogy CAN’T be with an invasive-species fish. It would be like your guy on a dock on Lake Erie pulling out a black girl that had been swimming nearby and immediately, with much ferocity and conviction, stomped her to death right there on the dock. Because he saw her as an aberration. Engineers ARE humans. They tell you so in the movie. Not 98% match, not 99%,. not 99.9%… 100% match SO THEY ARE HUMANS.

      • SnowBall

        Ore smarter for their (RLM) own good..

  • anal_sweat

    Guys, seriously? I went to see this movie with a friend, and literally the only good thing we could say about it on the way home was “jesus, the Plinkett review of this is going to be the stuff of legends”.

    There was nothing of value in this godforsaken travesty of a film.

    I didn’t really give a shit about the Star Wars prequels when they came out. I guess I was too young to be pissed off about them. Regardless, your complete and utterly brutal deconstruction of that trilogy was not only hilarious, but also taught me (a layman) a lot about movie-making and story structure. In my humble opinion, this was an absolute stroke of genius on your part, and is the reason I come back to redlettermedia to this day.

    This movie was in no way better that those Star Wars prequels. The exact same mistakes you brought to my attention in those original critiques were repeated in this movie. The fact that I even noticed them is entirely the result of you teaching me some basic concepts of film-making.

    I don’t know why you pulled your punches on this. I’m sure you have your reasons as professionals. However, that doesn’t change the fact that this movie is a piece of shit for the very same reasons that you ripped lesser movies to shreds over. Give this movie an honourable death – death by Plinkett.

    • Guest

       I guess you didn’t learn very much at all….

      • The Dude

        Stop anonymously posting here, Mr. Ridley. We are trying to whale on your product.

    • Guest

      How is there more than 1 person here that digs so deep into the flawed script, and yet doesn’t dig deep enough into the quality of the film making. It wasn’t just a “pretty movie”. Phantom Menace, at the time, was a “pretty movie”, but it was only pretty because of its SFX and how obtrusive they were, and it couldn’t even hold your attention long enough to find all the flaws pointed out in the Plinkett review. Prometheus managed to engage you with its imagery and film making. It didn’t feel dull. There’s a clear difference there a lot of you don’t even bother looking for. And this is coming from someone who was VERY indifferent towards Prometheus.

      • Marlow

        That doesn’t make sense. “It was only pretty because of its SFX” – this is exactly applicable to Prometheus. You’re talking horse shit.

  • guest

    The black goo was a DNA Re-sequencing chemical. Did you guys miss the start of the movie? Where the white alien human guy drank the black sludge and melted? With close ups of his DNA fragmenting and re-sequencing? It was obvious that they made the black sludge to re-sequence DNA. 

  • Wayne Pollock

    An example of a good late sequel is The Colour of Money. 26 years after The Hustler and directed by Martin Scorsese.

     

  • Wayne Pollock

    Can I get a Fuckbot-5000!! T Shirt.

  • Hilário Martins

    Real believable environment with totally unbelievable characters and situations, if the scientists in this movie are a good representation of a real team of scientists then i’m afraid for the first ones that go to Mars they will certainly perish, on this movie they all behaved like rookie scientists not highly trained ones, why?

    1 – Taking the helmet of on a totally strange environment, even if the air is breathable, they never tested for any strange agents in the air.

    2 – A geologist that gets lost in a cavern like system even when he has is “dogs” mapping the passages.

    3 – A biologist  that decides to ignore a life time discovery that a real biologist would never ignore, even in a life threatening situation, and decides to treat a totally strange and alien life form has if it was a puppy.  

    About the aliens is even worse.

    A billions or trillions years old alien race with interstellar traveling capability for billions of years before humans looks technologically not very advanced from us, still uses stasis pods not very different from ours, use a flute to start its machines?! Ok sound could be a very cool way to make them seam really advanced but making that sound with a flute, camon more imagination people, and still uses touch to control that same machines, when we humans will be able to control machines with our minds even on this century.

    On the movie the Engineers made all life on Earth, and Ridley or who made this nonsense history decided to make their DNA 100% equal to ours that is TOTALLY impossible, why? Because they are VERY different from us, just because they have human features that does not means they have 100% the same DNA as we. If that was true they would be EXACTLY like us, not have a totally different skin, blood, eye’s system. And don’t forget that if they made all life on Earth then they also made all the other animals and their DNA is totally different from ours the most similar to us is the Bonobo monkey and is only 98.7%, but it seams they “forgot” that we are not the only animal on Earth. 

    You guys said the best scene in the movie was the operation one but this is what i think of it. 

    1 – A futuristic operation pod like machine that still uses common anesthetics and metal graphs, they where trying to make it believable by using familiar medical practices i know, but if it is a futuristic machine then it should use futuristic tech, tech that we are working now not totally possible in the moment but will certainly be possible on the future, like some kind of nanotech liquid/gelatinous glue for example, that would be a fantastic futuristic medical tech to close wounds, not metal graphs that is 20 early 21 century tech and on that kind of wound would make all the walking about (that we see in the movie) certainly impossible. 

    2 – Why anyone disregarded that same operation and the alien life form “dead” on the operation room, is beyond me, especially the android when he seamed so interested on the pregnancy and the “baby” before.

    • Guest

       HAHAHAHAHA

  • AlexWilgus

    I was horribly disappointed because if the sci-fi movies aren’t good, what will save us from the Jack & Jill and Failure to Launch and What to Expect When You’re Going To Squeeze Out A Baby?

    • Guest

       How about literature? Or better yet, who cares?

  • Spam

    Blegh, I don’t seem to
    be able to watch your recent reviews any longer without it skipping
    all the time. My ‘pooter is only a few years old so there shouldn’t
    be any problem. Is there a magic video codec I’m missing?Anyway,
    I thought the film was pretty good. I’ve noticed that most of the
    vitriol comes from those expecting another film in the guise and tone
    of Alien. I don’t think the John Williams-esque theme that kept
    popping up helped satiate their preconceptions. I mean, I can get the
    idea there were some rather inexplicable character actions like
    the guy (the biologist guy, Milburn) putting his hand out, rather
    like Steve Irwin, to a new alien species and being fascinated by it
    and yet having no interest in the dead corpses, but the scene where
    he bites it is really no more naive than Kane shoving his face
    directly over a pulsating egg in Alien. There are all sorts
    of ridiculous things that characters do in Alien that are comparable
    to the ones in Prometheus. Why did Ripley go back for the cat, why
    did she follow through with the self destruct sequence after finding
    Parker and Lambert dead instead of heading straight for the escape
    shuttle and putting herself in even more danger, why did no one
    question Ash as to why he didn’t spot an alien embryo inside Kane
    when he was under observation…I didn’t like things such as
    Fifield and Milburn getting lost or not being guided by Janek when
    they were being monitored or even the fact they go lost in the first
    place. It seems like there should have been a slight mention or
    reason for this that consisted of a minute of film. Still, it’s
    hardly the ‘disaster’ many are spouting it out to be. Some just didn’t
    like the ‘feel’ of the film and so they nitpick on inconsequential
    shit to tear the movie down and claim it was rubbish, whereas with
    Alien they let it slide.

    I’m not going to claim
    Prometheus is a classic mind bender like 2001: A Space Odyssey,

    but if that film was
    made today it would have gotten trounced by the same people for
    similar reasons.

    • JoeJoe

      Fail.

      Ripley’s emotional state made her actions reasonable. She was half in shock and half on autopilot. In the directors cut, she also just killed her crewmates, which adds another layer to her unhinged state.

      The other characters in Alien where not all scientists and the movie when out of its way to paint them as dumb, petty, hysterical, and/or vindictive. It was a mining crew in way over their heads, not the “best scientists” on a trillion dollar mission.

      2001 was trounced by the critics, and rightfully so. It was a collection of short stories, loosely connected, that had no ending — and the “no ending” part was on purpose. It was the Lost of its time.

      • Disfigurative

         Did you really just compare 2001 to Lost?

        2001 = An epic, methodically prepared and executed tone poem about man’s evolution and his eventual transcendence from the physical to the spiritual.

        Lost = “We’re making it up as we go along.”

        2001 was way ahead of it’s time when it came out and continues to be ahead of a lot of modern cinema.

      • Guest

         I take it you didn’t understand 2001?

      • Spam

         Aww, diddums, it’s another ‘you faily fail fail’ individual.

        Fuck, people who use that word as if to somehow strengthen their rather weak arguments irrititate the shit out of me. So, ok, what about the crew not being suspicious of Ash for the reason I mentioned? Or why Ripley would continue with the self destruct instead of heading for the life boat? Had similar situations occured in this film you’d have tore it apart. Aside from all this, you appear to hate 2001 so I think we’re done here.

  • Spam

    Err, apologies for the weird formatting, don’t know what’s up with that.

    608 comments tho’!

  • Pingback: Doom Digest: Star Wars, Taxi Driver, Prometheus, The Amazing Spider-Man | Geeks of Doom

  • Dan

    This is undoubtly the modern day “Star Wars: Phantom Menace”. A prequel to a genius classic movie with a simple concept, strong story and characters, made by an almost unknown Director with a vision and motivation to create a great picture.

    Ridley pulled a lesson straight from George Luca’s notebook on this one. A completely shallow movie that overcomplicates thing – not in the good way. The story becomes too complex for the writers even, as the story doesn’t follow up on most questions being asked, characters are flat, uninteresting, illogical and lack motivation for their actions.

    Too many flaws between this and Alien, and even too many logical errors on it’s on in this movie alone, regardless the link between Alien or not. 

    This is not a smart movie at all. There’s not that much to “wrap your head around” here, and neither is it any point asking “What was the point of it” or the message of the movie. The message was: “You are all fucking morons at a 13 year old mentality who will waste your money watching this shit for our lazy moviemaking and financial benefits”. We all got fucked watching this movie. Indiana Jones raped in our minds all over again. Jar Jar Binks haunting out dreams and lost all hope in humanity.

    Good day, sir.

    • Spam

       Can you describe these rape dream scenarios with Jar Jar Binks?

      There is a comfortable couch here if you would like to relax upon it.

    • Guest

       This isn’t even close to Phantom Menace caliber badness. If you think it is, than try to think harder, and note that what Phantom Menace got “right” (or was considered to have gotten “right”) was obtrusive and pulled you out of the movie, whereas Prometheus could at least engage you so you could follow along and find those little inconsistencies.

      • SnowBall

        Oh my god, the original Star Wars movies sucked major monkeyballs.
        The only reason you guys are dissapointed in the followups/prequils of Star Wars is simple:
        You were somewhere between 8 and 18-yearolds when you saw the originals. And then fanboyed-struck to dumbness by the ‘cool’-effect it had.
        I watched the first three, well barely at all, when I was about 15~ and I’ve always thought the sucked arse. ALL STAR WARS MOVIES SUCK BALLS, COME TO GRIPS GUYS.

  • Pingback: The Most Intense ‘Prometheus’ Conversation You’ll Ever Hear | the finer dandy

  • Ross Carey

    The Kino Shout! review says more or less the same…funny though…http://rosscareyfilmreviews.blogspot.ie/

  • Alex

    I’ve been defending it with sort of the same arguments as Jay and Mike are doing here (especially Jay). But the more I think about it, the more I think we’re all just unwilling to see it for what it is because we all really want to like it so much. As Mike and Jay points out, this movie has a lot of brilliance in it in terms of cinematagrophy, editing, acting, tasteful use of special fx etc. But the script just doesn’t cut it. The story has too many unexplained elements and the characters does too bmany unexplained actions. 

    this movie has little to do with the Alien franchise and that’s exactly what the screenwriter and Ridley Scott said before releasing the film. It would be more of a spin off than a prequel if it wouldn’t be for the fact that the planet they’re on obviously is the same one they’re on in the first movies (anyone else bothered by the fact that the engineer died in the module and not in the “driver seat” in the control room on the ship where he was found in the first movie?). 

    • Trevorbowie54

      ya that bothered me. which makes me think who the fuck is in that chair.

    • blastor138

       The planet in this movie is not the same one in Alien.  They have two different names and everything.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3FRCAMLKUFJCYZ5Q5TLI6C7VWM Thanatos

    The writer from Lost should never be hired to write anything ever again.

    • http://www.facebook.com/blyth Warren Blyth

       wtf?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

       I heard he’s doing the rewrite for World War Z

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BSLENIIHHMKDS7AVUBYYYJACIM Blue Eyed Devil

        The movie will bring up the west vs. soviet union, the occult, hitler’s cocaine use, super soldiers, the germans trying to make the atomic bomb.

        But the end of the movie will be the Americans taking a small unimportant town from the Germans and none of the larger points will be resolved or addressed.

        Maybe they’ll address it in a sequel!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

    I actually keep coming back to the removal of the space helmet. That was really, in a big way, a jumping off point, where I could no longer really accept the movie as “smart”. As Jay points out – microbes. Also, spores, molds, and fungus. Also, synthesized alien chemicals that maybe can’t be picked up by their equipment. Also, non-biological particles like asbestos that might be harmful. Also, what if it just plain stinks? Like, stinks like a rotten eggs fart, and is so bad that it makes ya puke.
    Okay, one wacky daredevil who wants to push the envelope I can maybe buy, but why would ALL of the other scientists immediately remove their helmets also, just because he didn’t immediately start choking and die? A smart script implies a smart audience. A smart audience of a sci-fi flick will be (and was) thinking of such things. So what was the purpose of removing the helmets? In what way did it further the story? I keep thinking that it’s really for, like, recording purposes. But the dialogue came through just fine in later scene when dipstick and his buddy are poking at hissing penis monsters, fully helmeted.

    So yeah, it’s at that point that I felt that the movie was telling me to chill out and kick back, because this is supposed to be a popcorn flick. We’re just not gonna get hung up on piddling technical details like “scientists wouldn’t behave so illogically” because it’s cooler (or more likely, easier to record sound) if they don’t wear helmets. But the movie took itself way too seriously from then on (casual interracial sex aside) and seemed to push concept more than story.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

       The recording device was on the shoulder, as I recall.

      I remember being appalled when dipstick took off his helmet, but he was a dipstick and it wasn’t contrary to the character.

      When everyone else did the same, I felt so alone.

      Speaking of scientific behavior, I think that the point at which the movie crossed the stupid event horizon was when a big gang jumped into vehicles and went offroadin to the ziggurat, jumped out and trooped in.

      WHAAAAAAT

      This is Weyland corp. They been traveling in space a while. Something tells me they have well defined first contact protocols. There could be anything in there, including an intelligence that can take over your ship just by knowing it’s there. Maybe that’s a little farfetched, sure, but your first action isn’t leaping out of the scoobymobile. More like a week of extensive investigation of the exterior and gathering info about the interior first with passive, then active sensors.

      ACTUALLY your very first act should be to send back pictures of the thing that looks like evidence of intelligence, in case even the passive sensors get you killed. Back..yknow, to humanity, whose representative and emissary you are.

      When I saw the gang was stumbling in like teenagers on a dare, I knew I was in trouble.

      • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

        When I referred to sound recording problems, I actually was talking about shooting the movie, and not the dudes communicating with each other in-story.

        • Disfigurative

          Filmmakers have been recording flawless audio in helmets for quite some time now.  In fact, they’ve recorded wonderful audio in much more difficult situations.

          Drop a wireless Lav in the helmet just below the glass, add effects in post to make it sound like their talking through transistor-like radios and you’re good to go.  Not to mention ADR, etc.

          What they did in Prometheus was simply part of the story.

          Was it good or bad?  I didn’t have a problem with it.  The idea would have worked better if the characters weren’t as flat though.

          In fact, I believe that no one would be nitpicking the logical fallacies in this movie had the script been better in developing the characters.

          Suspension of disbelief is more easily attained when you have a truly great story on your hands.  Prometheus had plenty of promise, but in the end it was only “good”.

          • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

            Right, but maybe Scott didn’t want helmeted sound for most of the initial spaceship scenes, for whatever artistic reasons. Maybe in his head it HAD to be echoey and tomblike, and a Lav made it too claustrophobic.

            … even though the space helmets totally worked when they were exploring the ship in the original Alien film.

            Maybe he didn’t want to repeat himself?

            Just to clarify, I’m not defending the choice at all. I think it was totally distracting to have them take their helmets off, and I really don’t see the point of it at all. I’m just trying to make sense of it in my own head, and what I came up with is that forces outside the world of the movie are responsible, like technical problems recording them in their helmets or the artistic whims of the director. Or the screenwriter deciding he needed to pound you on the head with the fact that the Engineers are “human” (with “human” lungs), and not caring that it didn’t make sense.

      • http://www.facebook.com/blyth Warren Blyth

        * At what point did any negative consequences come from having removed their helmets?!??!?!

        No one was infected with anything due to having removed their helmet. your complaint that this wasn’t smart is thus irrelevant.

        * if you showed up in heaven, and your instruments said the atmo was breathable, would you hide in your helmet?
        The point is they were optimistic (nobody told them they were in a horror movie. they thought they were about to meet god.). when the reckless jackass took off helmet and lived, there was an element of peer pressure. did you have this same problem during Serenity, or any number of other movies where they discover a breathable atmo and decide to save their air tanks?

        This nitpick is so irrelevant in a movie about faith.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

          Sorry, it’s not irrelevant. While this movie may have some aspirations toward grander themes *like* faith, it is still a movie, and as such it is still subject to film criticism, and part of that criticism involves judging how credible the behavior of the characters is.

          Really the Prometheus should have been staffed with a bunch of ice-blooded disciplined “Special Circumstances” personnel, scientists, crew, and security specialists, all of them willing to kill or be sacrificed at a moment’s notice on what’s pretty much the most important small-team mission in human history.

          And with that crew, you can *still* have a deeply emotional story that focuses movingly on faith.

          Taking off their helmets was stupid and part of a complex of stupidity that helped sink this movie.

          • Spam

            Didn’t he say the air was “perfectly breathable” not only implying it had an atmosphere that would sustain them but that whatever device was telling him this also indicated that there was screening for the possibility of infection of any kind. As I said in another post there is a whole load of nit picking going on with this film because some didn’t get what they’ve been expecting or building up in their minds for how ever many years since they first watched Alien and loved it, I feel the same in a way, but I recognise that’s partially my problem and not necessarily the films. There is still a load of daftness in Alien that get overlooked because it’s adored so much.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

             If you’re in an alien ziggurat, never before encountered by our civilization, and your computer tells you that right where you’re standing, the air is ok, the right next step is not taking off your helmet. The right next step is to assume that the air in any given direction may *not* be perfectly breathable *and* that your computer is not an expert on the safety of environments it has no previous data for.

            Remember these weren’t supposed to be high school drop outs. These were space scientists. They were supposed to have some base minimum of intelligence, and preferably the instinct of self preservation.

            Yes, Alien (1979) had problems. Why was there a Pink Floyd laser light show lamp in the egg vault?

            But Alien (1979) had the virtue of a script that wasn’t so stupid as to pull you from your suspension of disbelief.

          • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

            If the machines were scanning for biological dangers, the movie should have said so. 

            I can forgive Alien some daftness because the crew of the Nostromo are basically glorified truck drivers. The only true scientist among them was an android who had the ulterior motive of bringing the alien back at any cost. 

            And one of the key moments of conflict was whether or not to Kane’s body on board at all.

        • http://www.facebook.com/petey.zog Petey Zog

          Heaven? Sounds like the most far-out straw man counterargument I can think of. How is exploring an alien spaceship equivalent to heaven?

          Optimistic or no, they’re scientists, and I think they should act like scientists. Scientists don’t take off their helmets after ten minutes on an alien planet because they’re optimistic. Scientists don’t see an archaeologist goofball take off his helmet, sniff the air and go, “Meh, whatever.”

           To what extent the movie is “about faith” is, I think, questionable. It should first and foremost be a science fiction film. 

          If it’s about faith, why is it a first-contact story full of body and survival horror. Why isn’t the core conflict of the movie between people who want to trust the Engineers and people who don’t?

          In fact, what is the core conflict of the movie? Eventually it becomes about keeping an alien spacecraft from destroying the Earth. What does that have to do with faith?

      • http://twitter.com/sillycasper Martin

        In terms of things that took me out of the movie and wondering why I’d shown up, this is a really good list.  They’re not nitpicks but very good points about characters doing silly things.  At that point it just became another so-so sci-fi popcorn movie and never looked back.

  • Carles

    If you didn’t like Prometheus you shouldn’t be allowed to watch any movies at all??? What was that supposed to mean? I felt quite disappointed. And no, I wasn’t expecting Aliens again or something similar. I’m a big fan of Ridley’s work, even his last movies that all you film critics have been trashing over and over again. But seriously, I found the script totally pointless and lacking any sense at all. Of course there are worse movies out there but Prometheus was NOT a good movie (under my point of view).

    Carles from Catalonia.

    • Kyle

       They were saying that if you didn’t like it or was disappointed, it’s fine. But if you’re going online and saying “PROMETHEUS WAS THE WORST FILM IN 10 YEARS IT IS COMPLETE GARBAGE THERE IS NOTHING GOOD ABOUT IT”, then you probably haven’t seen many films.

    • Guest

      Clearly, you and the two people that liked your comment missed the point entirely.

      • Carles

         Well that’s what fanboys say to me about the movie…that I didn’t understand its complicated script. Such a pity.

        • Guest

           ….I’m not talking about the movie, at all, and really they weren’t either. I’m talking about Mike and Jay’s point, which you clearly misinterpreted. They were making a point about be mature about expressing disappointment. It’s not about the movie, and it’s not about your opinion. It’s about the way you express it.

          If anything here is a real pity, it’s that so many of you commenting on this video fail to understand this when it is so simple. In fact, it almost furthers their point in their favor.

          • Guest

             *BEING mature

            Sorry about that.

        • Guest

           You’re a moron. He wasn’t talking about the movie.

    • Guest

      Seriously? 8 people share the same failure to understand Mike and Jay’s point as you?

  • Gotrua

    “Prometheus is a good movie compared to Battleship and Jack and Jill.”
    Why even review movies with that mentally?
    Jay talks about people complaining immediately after seeing the movie, but it has been out in Europe for more than a week. People have have seen it and had time to think about it. Complaining about people complaining, instead of reviewing the movie, why bother reviewing movies at all?

    • Guest

       He’s not complaining about people complaining, really. He (and Mike) are trying to make a point about handling and expressing disappointment like an adult. The movie itself is just a trivial matter at that point. It’s not even really about opinions. It’s about the people expressing their opinions like children. It’s not a hard concept to grasp.

  • Victor_marsh

    “Yeah, there were some really good scenes…”, “There’s a real style to it too…”. I don’t want “good scenes” or “real style”, I want a ggod movie. Scott messed up big time with this one. So much potential and all we get is this big confusing pile of loose ends. 

    • Ian Cameron

      To appreciate any art form, you have to be able to appreciate component pluses and component minuses.  A lot of good material would be missed if movies had to be perfect complete packages to receive praise.  Criticism is good, but as a snooty film geek like myself, you’ve gotta get your kicks in when you can.  The film has some shortcomings, but Ridley earned my 3D $14.50 during the surgery scene alone.  I’d rather watch that five minutes than the entirety of a lot of what’s in my local cineplex.  Drive was nothing but style… Inglourious Basterds was nothing but some really good scenes… and they were both red letter days I walked out of the theater happy about.

      • Guest

         “To appreciate any art form, you have to be able to appreciate component pluses and component minuses”

        Exactly.

  • expletiveBMP

    Prometheus wasn’t any good, and I really, really, really, really wanted to love it, but damn man, after all that time, this is it?  Truth be told, this is the best scifi since Inception, and if you don’t agree then fuck you your mother’s a whore; But this movie was like a big assed pizza that had some wonderful toppings, but they were all stale as shit, but fuck me it was a deep dish pizza so i was fulled to capacity, but it wasn’t enjoyable.  another thing, lost last three seasons was awesome, its last season was awesome, and you fucking lot don’t like to hear anything spiritual or religious so fuck you all who hated lost you agnostics atheist fucks; you’re infinitely worse than the gays. 

    • Bajs

       rofl

    • Yourmom

      Are you despair with the existence of free people? You are another product of cash’s god’s , kneel down and shut up!

  • Guest

    It was mildly disappointing, but was engrossing enough for me to recognize why. That’s really all there is to say about it.

  • Guest

    I’ll give the filmmakers credit for trying something different. The script was initially a direct alien prequel, complete with facehuggers, queens, etc.

    They would have been better off writing a new script from scratch; re-writing it into something different took a lot out of it.

    • ILikeDumbMovies

       Would you give someone credit, too, if they made a bicycle with square wheels??

      • Guest

        No because, like you, that is retarded

      • Guest

         Fuck off. A movie can operate on some good qualities despite its flaws. A bicycle cannot. Your analogy is awful and, not to mention, more people need to learn to start giving something as much credit as it deserves (even if it doesn’t deserve much at all).

  • CorneliusTakahashi

    I’m very happy Red Letter Media is getting some well deserved attention. Its about time people bask in the humor of red lett.r.e.r………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

  • JustPassingby

    So, so, so much butt-hurt in the comments, only that should tell you its really a movie you should go see.  

    • http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki

       that makes no fucking sense.

      • Guest

         I think he means that because of all the discussion it’s worth checking out.

        • http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki

           a ha… and far more people are talking about the Twilight movies. So, off you go!

          • Guest

             I mean real discussion, not girls jizzing over pale vampire boys. Not the same thing at all. So, here I stay!

          • Spam

             Girls really jizz!?

            I feel rather inadequate I’ve never made one do so now.

          • Guest

             It’s actually true. I mean they don’t produce sperm, but what do you think that little squirt is (when you do the job right)?

          • Spam

            Love juice… I suppose.

          • Guest

             I call it “nature’s lemonade”.

          • Guest

             Don’t be such a cunt.

  • Extantia

    My impression of the film was as bad as when I saw the Phantom Menace.  I was thinking it’s amazing how 33 yrs. of technological and software advances since 1979 could result in such a poorly executed film. It jumps around too much.  Example:  When in the alien ship, you no sooner get to contemplate the mystique of the images on the wall and worms and goo on the floor in the canister room, than you’re rushed out into a cliched and unnecessary action sequence due to a storm that comes out of nowhere.  Would love to see a full Ralph Plinkett review in the vein of his Phantom Menace et al. reviews.

    • Guest

       I don’t think you’re gonna be getting it.

    • Guest

      If you watched the review, you would have put together yourself that Plinkett will most likely NOT review this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=526768022 Luicho Samaniego Poletti

    Haha.. these guys are spot on!

    Yet the one thing that still gets me puzzled is at the end the Captain goes.. go and save yourselves. And the guys just stay.

    Here you have two choices, stay in the ship AND die. Or go with the SMOKING HOT chick and save yourself.

    “Go be stranded in a deserted planet with the hottest woman you can imagine, or stay here with two ugly smelly dudes and die..”

    - Oh Gee… what where with whom? 

  • Winston

    Mike is becoming increasingly lazy in his reviews. He doesn’t seem into it and is almost becoming an ironic parody of how he used to review. Is this intentional? I am going to see this movie cause RIddley Scott is a monster of a director and deserves more of my money.

    Maybe Mike should take a break from this, unwind, and stop being so cynical about EVERYTHING. Jay is great, as usual.

    • Guest

       An “ironic parody”? This whole show is a parody, from their apparent disinterest to the sitcom-esque openings and closers. What the hell are you talking about?

      • Winston

        I’m talking about Mike having more to say than he does now where he dismisses movies/Jays points with a “meh”. Plus, I’m pretty sure he recommended Battleship. And he’s not gonna recommend this? I’m saying it’s like he doesn’t give a shit about really reviewing movies anymore.

        • Guest

           Or maybe he just has a different perspective than what you seem to think he should have?

        • Guest

           I think far too many of Mike and Jay’s fans think they should have a certain perspective or opinion to align with their own, or to somehow validate it, and when that thought gets a dose of reality, they try to save face by “theorizing” or projecting shit. Skim through these comments and see how many morons are actually questioning Jay for recommending this movie, or crying hypocrisy because they failed to understand Jay and Mike’s little rant on the film’s backlash, or how many people think they “put on the kid gloves” with this movie, when they flat out said that this is not a movie worth dissecting (and yet other people are still asking for a Plinkett review). It’s pathetic.

    • I LIKE CATS

      “I am going to see this movie cause RIddley Scott is a monster of a director and deserves more of my money.”

      Logical fallacy: Argument from Authority. Or something like that. The direction is awesome but the writing is FUCKING TERRIBLE. What did I expect from a co-writer of LOST?

      • Guest

         Oh, shut up. The guy’s an idiot, but he’s not worth your precious time to bring up fallacies in his comment.

      • Winston

        It’s not really a fallacy, I enjoy his direction and would like to see what he does with the Aliens franchise. I don’t think I’ve ever been disappointed in his movies.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BSLENIIHHMKDS7AVUBYYYJACIM Blue Eyed Devil

       lol “I haven’t seen the movie but the reviewer is wrong about the movie!”

      I’ve got $5 Winston will be back here after watching the movie pissed at how it made so little sense and angry at Mike for not ripping it more!

  • Pingback: The Lindelof Pattern - Inglorious Hipsters - Edmonton, Canada

  • http://twitter.com/ingsocbloc Luke Pebler

    Spotted Cow FTW.

  • Orcguy51

    http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/uswn1/prometheus_everything_explained_and_analysed/ This explains everything, and most of it is confirmed by Mr. Scott himself.

  • Llynok

    Problems I noticed.
    They establish that everyone has mounted cameras on their suits and can be viewed from the deck. While at least 8 people are still on board, David steals specimens and brings them to the ship to infect people and no one notices him doing this. 

    Two crew members, the geologist and the biologist get lost while leaving the site out of fear. This is after they’ve shown the use of probes to map the entire site and can see exits on board. Why didn’t they just ring the ship and ask for a way out? Also, since they have on-board cameras, how did the crew not know they were dead? How did they not know when one of the characters… walked all the way back to the ship as a pseudo-zombie to attack them?

    The Engineers somehow recorded a hologram of themselves running into the room with a single door and hundreds of specimen urns. What were they running from? Why would they run into that room? Wouldn’t the murals the crew destroyed by entering the room be destroyed when the Engineers opened the door? It hasn’t been open since then. Why would there be a recording of them? Who put it accessible on a wall?

    When the crew arrives, they have a briefing. Who would sign up for a five-year (2.5 years to fly out there, 2.5 to fly back) contract without knowing destination/what they were doing? Two characters even made a bet on why they were there, because they didn’t know anything. Are they in it for the money? They all clearly have different ideals for being there. How are they unified in complete obscurity and ignorance?

    I get that Shaw was shooting herself full of pain killers after the surgery, but then she runs on the surface from the falling ship, makes difficult jumps and tumbles… all requiring the use of severed muscle tissue. Then, she somehow climbs all the way up to find David with no knowledge of his location, after they established her suit had no oxygen left in it. Her rover four-wheeler is the directly underneath a huge open window for her to repel down to.tl;dr — Don’t think too hard about this movie. It -is- visually stunning and fun. Very goofy things happen, like from common horror movies. Stupid character logic and plot devices. 

  • film human

     *********SSSSSPPOOOOIIILLLLLLLLSSSS*********

    Okay, the thing you said about crossbreeding. It seems that the aliens don’t bother with that, that it’s just a bioweapon to eradicate humanity, and that it has multiple steps which act as failsafes. Why eradicate humanity? Maybe humans are the result of a civil war and one side really, really didn’t want them around. Maybe they’re just food for the xenomorphs. Who knows? It’s pat of the message of the movie maybe?

    Explained:

    The robot put the goop in the geologist’s drink and it morphed him, somehow, future-alien technology bioweapon. He became something scary mutant monster. I think it might have to do with the robot being a douche or maybe he was under orders from old man to remove the scientists or impregnate woman. I think the goop and the vases had a bunch of unfertilized alien brine shrimp eggs in them. If you watch carefully robot douche activates one when they get there and it melts, providing the snakes for later in arm-breaker facemelt suplex scene. Okay following so far?

    After goop, the woman got pregnant with baby semen monster. Guy had worms in his body but he didn’t have uterus or something so they just transformed him into angry hulk, BUT woman had uterus so bioweapon went to next phase which was become advanced giant impregnator facehugger. It doesn’t look like any crossbreeding happened like in Alien 3 where they wanted to sell lots of Transformers toys like the DOG ALIEN. Follow?

    Impregnator facehugger grew up and became even stronger than superhulk mutant monsterman and impregnated Dr Manhattan. Bioweapon went to phase THREE or whatever phase that would be so far, which was to ditch the earlier forms entirely, and start an entire army of army ants xenomorphs. If you notice it had the queen’s springloaded mouth setup, sort of, so I figure it went back to the wrecked ship and started a colony which is the setup for the first movie. Get it?

    That’s just my interpretation but it works well enough for me.

    *************MEGASPOIL END*******************************

    • http://www.facebook.com/pontus.granstrom Pontus Drunkie Granström

      I had the same thoughts after the movie. Also some about where and what’s happening at the beginning of the movie. I think that maybe there are other planets like earth. Made by them, and that the suicidal man who throws himself in the water is spreading a virus at the planet. Not earth, but another earth, also populated with humans.
      Maybe humans are just an experiment made by them. And when they feel like the experiment failed, they want to erase us and start over.

      Thats my thoughts about the movie + what you written.

      • justaguyDP

        Ridley Scott has stated it’s nothing more than a ritual performed like the primitive ancient Aztecs, etc.

        “And therefore there’s two questions in the film:
        the guy at the beginning is simply donating himself, no stranger than
        the Aztecs or Incas would choose some poor bugger, at the beginning
        saying “right, you’re it, in the year you get all the girls you want,
        all the food you want, blah blah, and at the end of the year we’re going
        to take your heart, take it out, squeeze it, and we’re going to get
        jolly good crops and good weather next year.” It’s no more than that,
        he’s into a form of donation, except his DNA is so powerful, each
        molecule is like a timebomb. So, we only set our standards by what we
        know here, which makes us essentially naive. We don’t, we can’t conceive
        of galloping DNA: I release that on the desk, and in a second I’ve got a
        cotton wool ball going black. We can’t conceive that because it’s not
        in your frame of experience. So you’ve got to take your brain, put it on
        the side, and when you enter the movie just let yourself breath.”http://www.slashgear.com/ridley-scott-talks-prometheus-with-slashgear-candid-uncut-02231334/

    • blastor138

       The planet in this movie isn’t the one in Alien.

      • Guest

         It’s amazing how many people missed that.

        • Cabe412

           yeah because everyone remembers the number of the planet from Alien by heart

          • Guest

             If you’re going to be trashing a film and bring up continuity, you better know your shit. It doesn’t matter if you know it by heart, what matters is that you can confirm it, shithead.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/MK7NJGTJOZKFY7YM6N6O4YU4LU Likewise

    These are reviews…not the movies themselves.  Opinions separate from what goes on in the viewers’ heads actually do exist.  Isn’t it a bit Ouroborosian to critique the critique as if it has to meet the standards that a cinematic offering has?

    • Guest

       Thank you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1347313962 Julian Hirst

    @8db56b63824d3aa5dc94866ac20af361:disqus hey I can make something up too, but that’s not the movie that’s me making something up. To goo could contain nano-engineered viruses, it could be magic juice made by the king of the fairies, the reason he transmuted could be entirely unrelated to the goo and he was cursed by God for his sinful ways … and so on. The movie should be able to stand without us making things up to fill in the gaps, which it doesn’t. Was this the only gaping hole in the film it might be forgiveable, but it isn’t, there are many more, many not mentioned on any of RLM’s videos. How did none of the crew meet each other whilst getting in to the stasis pods, for example? The movie is nonsense, doesn’t make sense. The ideas that it does have were unoriginal, hokey and poorly represented. It is a bad movie.

    • Guest

       Correction: It’s a bad script.

    • film human

      How did none of the crew met each other whilst getting in to the stasis pods? Who knows? The point is that they didn’t. They could have been purposefully separated by the crazy old fart and shipped pre-frozen in boxes, the dig team could have been frozen after the science team, whatever. It’s not impossible and you’re freaking out over nothing. If you hate that, you should also complain about not seeing full ship designs for the Prometheus in the beginning of the film so you can have a full register of the ship’s layout while watching, or cry about why the guns shoot energy instead of just bullets. Who cares? Make it work.

      The film forces you to use your brain. That doesn’t make it bad. You are literally just mad that it wasn’t exactly the same as every other movie in the series.

      • JoeJoe

        The film doesn’t force you to do shit. You can do absolutely no thinking and enjoy the movie. After all, the writers did absolutely no thinking while making this turd of a story and their checks still cashed just fine.

        This film relies on the premise that, in the future, absolutely nothing is recorded and people don’t have pocket sized computers. This is the only way that all the incidents in this world are even possible. The captain can’t rewind the playback to see his goobers getting killed by aliens. The goobers can’t view the map on their PDAs while heading back to the ship, and the captain can’t see any of the weird shit that the android is doing.

        A smart writer would have attacked-the-problem and at the same time added to the mystique of the film. For example, the captain tries to do a replay but the recordings are marked as classified or deleted. This continues the theme of the giant mysterious evil corporation. A scene or two of the android interfering with operations and analyzing the black goo would have also accounted for people getting lost, feeds being cut, and the intentional infection of a crew member. If they wanted it more mysterious, we’d just see the malfunctions and have the android be a reveal for the source later. It’s the old “give them 2+2″ paradigm instead of the “here’s 4, don’t ask why, it’s just 4″ haphazard writing style. This is the actual type of thing in a film that would require you to think.

        • Guest

           Does a bad script make a movie truly bad? ‘Cause it seems the rather obviously flawed script is all you have.

          • squag

            yes it does. if you want to look at something beautiful, watch a 3d screensaver. if i’m watching humans interact, i don’t want to be saying ‘what?’ or ‘why didn’t..’ every two minutes because they are nonsense people.

          • Guest

             A 3D screensaver doesn’t exactly engage a person, does it? That’s they key difference between this film and the Star Wars prequels. With those movies, the SFX are just there, annoyingly so. In Prometheus, the visuals are used to create an effective atmosphere. The direction was great, the atmosphere is effective, and there is one solid portrayal of a fairly interesting character in there (David). All of that is built on an incredibly flawed script, therefore the movie is flawed, but as a whole it isn’t bad film. There’s more to a film than its script. Clearly, far too many of the film’s detractors don’t bother looking into anything other than the film’s biggest, glaring problem. It’s not that I don’t understand why the script is flawed or that it held the movie back; it was clear as day as I watched the film. But you don’t judge a movie by dissecting its defects and take its accomplishments at surface value. When you do that, you’re no longer fairly critiquing the film; you’re only attempting to validate your opinion.

  • Guest

     Sucks.

  • Guest

    Prometheus:

    It’s a movie.

  • Hiver

     Prometheus – Hivers slightly different script:

    ———————————————————————————————————

    1. Caveat one: Its far easier just changing something then creating something entirely new
     2. Caveat to the caveat one: Ridlley Scott and the writer didnt create something entirely new but built it from existing materials, movies and stories.

    ———————————————————————————————————–

    - Wayland seeks immortality from the get go.

    - His bid for it is creating androids like David.

    Who is a prototype experiment one step away from next design which will
    allow Wayland to upload himself into a new seemingly immortal android
    body.

    - The discovery of young scientists and their convictions throws a
    proverbial wrench in his plans by presenting another option that may be
    available.

    - twist – he uploaded himself into the android body of Charlize. Or someone else in the crew.

    Its just a copy of him so he doesnt feel threatened personally – therefore he goes to investigate and keep full control at situ.

    - Space jockeys are not genocidal maniacs. They are also pressured by
    their own mortality – as any other living creature in universe. Those heads are not their helmets – but their heads. therefore they are not 3 meters tall superhumans but those sad elephantine creatures. (The elephant man references)

    - nano-goo is something they found (not their creation) and their own bid for immortality of a
    different kind. Insert various metaphysical themes into it.

    - nano-goo has its own plans. But, at first it plays nicely seemingly
    under some control of the last living space jockey that is as we see, largely
    mutated nano-remade being in the movie itself.

    - Space jockey interacts (not – talks. although he could learn from humans), with humans and comes to find them aggressive
    and a danger which humans prove through their behavior – and by
    revealing their history to him.

    He starts to think of them as a Virus.

    - He goes full mental when he discovers David and Wayland (Charlize – whoever) androids are completely synthetic -

    - which is a complete and utter anathema to Space Jockeys – them being all biologically inclined as they are.

    - Nano-goo feels the same.

    -Takes over space jockey completely or they join forces in eradicating
    human ALIEN SCUM. Both start producing different creatures to attack and
    destroy these horrible insane ALIENS, improving design as they go.

    - Everyone dies at the end.

    - Last human alive erases all data on Prometheus about the position of Earth exact location, before being killed.

    last shots:

    Nano goo (in form of one of the monsters) switches on emergency S.O.S. signal on Prometheus that Nostromo catches years later.

    - creates last flower pods of facehuggers using human and space jockey bodies as building material.

    - Sets in for a long wait.

    • Plonkette

       So what you are saying is the changed the good script to the shitty  nonsensical one that was shot and i watched and felt completely disappointed with.  Good for them.

  • Wewyllenium

    Love the ending. A great tribute to how nonsensical sci-fi can get. :D

  • Guest

    A lot of materiel that I have read over the last while suggests this movie-and the Alien movies-is loosely based on the 1936 novella “At the Mountains of Madness” by H.P. Lovecraft. If you have time to read this (and you might not, it’s not an easy read) you might get a better idea of what the deal is with this movie-or not. 

  • justaguyDP

    Prometheus:  A corporation assembles a crew at the expense of 4 trillion dollars to fly out to a destination point in which the scientists (I use this word loosely) have absolutely no quantitative data.  Why not send a probe first?  How are the scientists rationalizing that the cave drawings are an invitation by these aliens?  Maybe, the aliens were hanging out, had a few beers, and gave the wall a good ole toilet stall treatment “For a good screw call Jenny.”

    Sunshine:  The sun is dying, thus sending Earth into an eternal winter.  Icarus II is the *second* ship sent in attempt to restart the sun.  So, right here… 1) We know the goal/directive – to kick start the sun because sun is vital to life.  2)  We know past missions were executed and have failed.  The ship design is impressive.  For instance, they have an “oxygen garden.”  Danny Boyle actually consulted NASA engineers about “plausible” ship designs, etc.

    Icarus II picks up a beacon from the original Icarus.  Interesting!  They spend time trying to locate the beacon and figure out that they will pass within 300 yards (roughly) of the ship.  They are curious as to why the original Icarus failed.  They even debate as to if they should investigate Icarus.  They ultimately concede to board the ship because they know that it likely possesses the original payload.  Hey, two “last best hopes” are better than one.  This makes sense story wise.  Hell, this entire sequence shows more logic than the entire length of a film that is Prometheus.   

    Prometheus?  Fuck it, we’ll just zip down to the planet – and immediately find the main alien compound without any further analyzation of the planet.  Wither is be “weather conditions,” etc.

    There are just so many story elements that are just piss poor in regard to Prometheus.  I still contend “Sunshine” is a better film story wise.  And, in the end the “sacrifice” in Sunshine actually means something… the sacrifice in Prometheus is hollow and asinine.

    Now, if you want to argue about the Pinbacker aspect on the film – that’s fair game.  But, a crewman suffering from space insanity… “pandorum”… whatever you want to call it… makes more sense than a biologist petting a grey penis snake. 

    Sunshine trailer:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBzVPXr8SNY&feature=related

    Spoiler – ending of Sunshine:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZ2-xR54UDU

    • sigaba

      (spoilers)

      You left out “Sunshine” Act III:  The sun somehow makes people crazy and the captain of Icarus I somehow survived and is motivated by crazy to oh-fuck-it-lets-just-do-a-Friday-the-13th-slasher-ending.
      At least “Prometheus” didn’t rip off its concept from a 1961 Irwin Allen film.

  • Pingback: Prometheus: Any Questions? | Broadsheet.ie

  • Johanna Larsson

    I can’t see the clip. I’ve allowed flash, don’t know what else to do. I really want to watch this,but blip doesn’t seem to work for me

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Mozingo/100000177174007 Matt Mozingo

      I’m having the same problem. I’ve tried a clean install which doesn’t work… I think I will try an older version.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Mozingo/100000177174007 Matt Mozingo

        Yup… just uninstalled the current AFP and installed the version before it and the videos work :)

  • Emgm1979

    Jajajajajajajaja or hahahahahhaha…..Thank you for another great show, Jay missing the shoe say’s it all.

  • Adventure Core Jack

    I`m very glad that Prometheus wasn`t directed by Peter Jackson. If that movie was a minute longer I would`ve peed myself.Paleocontact and directed panspermia were two most original premises that Lindelof could come up with? Come on, it`s 2012… It`s like beating a horse that has been dead for a couple of decades now. At least make up your fucking mind which one of these you wanna do. Typical Lost writing: throw more nonsensical crap at the audience, we`ll come up with some half-assed explanation on the fly in the sequel.
    Also am I the only one who`s deeply disappointed that Giger’s mysterious “Space Jockey” biomechanoid turned out to be Dr. Manhattan`s evil albino twin?

    • Guest

       If only it was a minute longer…

  • cajaquarius

     Yeah, I really disliked that part of the movie. What is it with sci fi movies and psyche evaluations never being done on people going on important world saving missions to see if they are whacked out before sending them?

    • Hafabee

      Use your head, this was a 5 year deep space mission with no mention as to the nature of the mission.  You’re not going to get the cream of the crop to sign up for that.  Also it seems pretty obvious that Weyland was ONLY interested in having David perform any analysis, the rest were along to experiment on.  Jesus did any one actally watch this movie?  Or are people so used to haing everything spelled out for them that they’re now incapible of independant thought?

      • JoeJoe

        Use YOUR head. This was a trillion dollar expedition and they could afford to buy anyone they wanted, no matter the conditions.

        • Guest

           That’s some serious nitpicking, my friend, and not something worth using to insult someone.

          • JoeJoe

            You’re retarded if you think “stupid writing” is nitpicking. Go back to guesting at some bathouse and using your mouth for what it’s best for.

          • Guest

             Well, I do shine good knob.

            It’s just a movie, my friend. Take it easy and let an opinion be. I’m gonna go fuck some gross guys for money.

      • http://twitter.com/Bidens_Brain JoeBidensBrain

        “Also it seems pretty obvious that Weyland was ONLY interested in having David perform any analysis, the rest were along to experiment on…. Jesus did any one actally watch this movie?”

        Really, you smug genius? Where in the movie does Weyland show any contempt for anybody or treat them like lab rats? Why spend a trillion dollars to send people there when he could have just sent David and saved a shiteload on life support, a huge ship, food, etc., and just had David bring back whatever and do the experiments on earth. Hell, why’d the old guy even leave a cryo tube on Earth if he didn’t want to die?
        Even better disproving of your “obvious” conclusion: why would the old guy subject himself to the same horrible fate as those people you say were so obviously put there to be experimented on?

        You have no proof and neither does the movie offer any that could back up the theory you’re presenting as fact without any evidence to back you up. It’s not up to Lost fans (or any moviegoer) to re-write what was supposed to or could have happened, or pretend such grasped straws are “pretty obvious.”

      • sigaba

        This is one of those arguments where it makes no sense unless you smuggle in information from the first 5-6 Alien movies: everybody knows Weyland-Yutani uses its employees as Guinea pigs, therefore David’s behavior makes sense.

        It totally doesn’t add up in the context of the film, his actions don’t give Weyland of The Company anything, and it requires W-Y to have prior knowledge of what they’re going to find.

  • DagobahDave

    Cracking up at Jay at 1:53. What you were *trying* to say was…

    • Guest

       What?

    • Guest

       If you’re referring to Mike’s comment about Attack of the Clones, then I don’t think you understood what he was saying.

  • Movie Buff

    The trailer revealed everything. I did not jump once, I recognized every spot from the trailers. 

  • Hafabee

    Prometheus was amazing, sorry guys this is the first time I’ve seen you miss the mark.  I really thought that Mike would understand the themes and symbolism but yeah, you missed it.   Funny as always though!

  • https://twitter.com/#!/Coswald Brian A. Costello

    “In regards to the hate towards this movie… If you’re one of those people that gets THAT upset over this movie, you should probably stop watching movies, altogether. In a world of ‘Jack & Jill’s and ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’s, and movies like that… an ambitious, but incredibly flawed sci-fi film- if THAT’s what gets you horribly upset, then there’s no hope for you.”

    Amen, Jay Bauman.  Amen.

    • Indy

      The issue here is that this is a film built for praise and easy consumption, but certainly preferable to Jack and Jill, but it must still be held to a standard of scrutinizing. It’s kind of a mess. An entertaining mess.

      • Guest

         They took that issue into consideration during that segment of the review. They both addressed a viewer’s right to disappointment. What they were really addressing was the notion that going off on this movie despite its ambition and the effort that went into making it work (unlike Jack and Jill, which was lazy, cynical, and offensive in almost every way) is somehow acceptable, and it simply is not. Disappointment is fair and you’re entitled to your opinion, but when you aren’t fair and objective about the subject of your opinion and express that opinion like an unsatisfied child, and try to rationalize that behavior to the point the subject of your opinion becomes a trivial matter, than you’re not fit to express an honest critique.

  • http://www.starbulletin.com/ S-B Moderator too

    Jay, you yourself said the film is all setup and no payoff just like Lost. Why are you willingly falling for the same trick again?

    • Guest

       He’s not. He’s saying it’s worth checking out due to it’s astonishing film making. You can credit a film without loving it, you know.

      • http://www.google.com/ El Robbo

        He did recommend it though, even after he brought up “Lost” and its attendant disappointment. To paraphrase an old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on Jay.” Although, Jay, if you happen to read this, I’ve got a lot of respect for your insight and opinion. I jut disagree with you here.

  • Timbula

    I love the comment about people immediately jumping online to say they don’t get it. Reminded me of when I saw Inception. The final shot fades to black and inbetween that and the first credit appearing on screen (a gap of about half a second) I hear someone saying “I don’t get it”. Christ, let it sink in before you start questioning it.

    I actually liked Prometheus. Sure, it didn’t grip me the same way that Alien did, but then again, it was never going to. It was a great sci-fi movie. It was far better than a lot of others I’ve seen in recent years, but with the competition consisting of such crackers as Apollo 18, Super 8 and Cowboys and Aliens, is it any wonder this one seemed so good?

    Also, the dialogue in Alien felt like it was unscripted and natural because Ridley Scott let the actors do whatever they wanted in delivering their lines. Yaphet Kotto was openly encouraged to make it hard for Sigourney Weaver to deliver her lines, so when she yells at him, she is actually pissed off with him. Everything in Prometheus is so clean and well scripted. Doesn’t make one a better movie, just different.

  • IDONTHAVEANEMAILFUCKYOU

     So how about you fat lazy fucks get to work on releasing
    that quigley plinkett review instead of this stupid eating fried chicken
    and moving scenery around half in the bag bullshit that nobody gives a fuck about. And where the fuck is my pizza roll again?

  • Earthad1000

    AN AD?

    AN AD!?

    • Guest

       Yes.

       Yes.

  • justaguyDP

    Please see:  “Pinbacker” comment. Also, Icarus I had a functional oxygen garden. This was in the script and film. Fewer plot holes than Prometheus.

    • sigaba

      Do not interpret my contempt for “Sunshine” as a defence of “Prometheus.” They’ve both got their problems.
      Really “Sunshine” is just “Prometheus” for emos :). Neither of them hold a candle to “Alien”, let alone “2010″ or even “Outland”. “Saturn 3″ maybe.
      The black goo is a reference to the monolith? My first impression was the Black Oil from “X-Files”, kinda similar concept, too.

      • justaguyDP

        Actually, I can’t find my copy of the story… I believe in “At the Mountain of Madness”… the “Shoggoths” were described as “black goo”… that could create and destroy.  The Elder Things / Engineers used them to help them build structures.

  • Bpacelli202

    this was a science fantasy movie. the characters in this movie were retarded. why was this movie rated R? not much gore…no cursing…no boobs…not scary….

    Leaving answers opened to ambiguous interpretations doesnt make it a “smart movie”…it means the writer is an idiot and cant figure out what he wants to do. 

    • Guest

       Clearly, it does not take a genius to figure that out.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1103010070 Andrew Flynn

    I think we will have to wait for the directors cut to come out before we can make a final assessment on this movie. As for the reason why they stayed away from the title of prequel and reboot is because they wanted to make a film inside the same universe, which I think is a fresh idea. It’s kinda like all the Marvel movies that can crossover. It lets us revisit familiar concepts but with a different story. I enjoyed the movie but Damon’s influence is clearly seen and brings it down with the bringing about of more questions than answers.

  • Catalyst

    FYI: There were only six seasons of LOST. The latter half of which was hindered by a mediocre fourth season due to the writer’s strike.

  • Caiden

    Eh, just my take on what Jay said about the fan hate.  Yeah there are worse movies like Jack and Jill.  However noone expects Jack and Jill to be good.  It’s beyond stupid.  Ridley Scott is a real director, and Blade Runner was the most influencial sci fi movies at that time.  And Alien was a classic. 

       People expected this to be good.  When some people were let down, they became angry because it came from a good director.  Noone should be upset by Bucky Larson or other crap. Everyone knows they were going to be nothing but crap.

      Haven’t seen the movie yet, but at this point I’ll wait for cable.

    • Guest

       They said that disappointment is understandable. Their point was that people should express that disappointment like adults and not like children. And I do think there’s a fair reason for Jay to bring up Jack and Jill because Jack and Jill is, in many ways, offensive.

  • guh

    How did you get back in Plinkett’s house?
     

    • Timbula

      They didn’t.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonah-Falcon/525044162 Jonah Falcon

    Director that came back to a series successfully: Wes Craven when he did New Nightmare.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonah-Falcon/525044162 Jonah Falcon

    Did you watch to the end?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jay-A-Matthew/100001199766732 Jay A. Matthew

    Prometheus was good insofar as it finally shed light on the Space Jockey/Engineers; those guys were long overdue for some screen time. What I didn’t like was the loss of footing from the second act onward as well as the absence of common sense from the characters. How could any of the crew have possibly missed a hybrid squid locked away in Charlize’s med bay? Charlize and Idris went back there to shag. Does the film expect us to believe they just happened to miss that thing squirming around in there? And then there’s the hacking of plot points from Alien Vs. Predator. Jay probably knows what I mean, as he’s seen it. The whole “Weyland puts together a team of specialists from all across the world to be the first to investigate a [insert whatever place/thing/situation here] based on data from several differing ancient cultures on Earth” was the bulk of Prometheus. And hell, they even had a line about the necessity of guns on the mission, just like in AVP. Then there’s the weird sex and birthing of strange creatures from Species and Splice and the egocentric corporate head honcho and his power-hungry daughter using extraterrestrials for immortality and domination like Hunter and Lucretia Borgia in Predator: Concrete Jungle (video game). Oh, and let’s not forget Hunter Borgia’s reverse-engineered Predator technology that he called Prometheus Tech. Seriously, they couldn’t come up with anything else? Cannon fodder, cliches, and stupidity aside, the movie was okay. The visuals were impressive and I really did like the Engineers a lot. I’m only looking forward to the sequel to get to know those people more. But I will give the movie another point for its ending arrangement: Shaw zooming off into the cosmos on a stolen alien ship with nothing but an android’s head as company really is like something from a pulp comic or maybe Heavy Metal Magazine. That was just cool. Somehow, it felt right to me. The rest of the movie just fell short. It was like filler, and nonsense filler at that. It was the kind of condescending crap they put into movies like Transformers, which doesn’t belong in a movie such as Prometheus. If they wanted the movie to be smart, they should have hired a smarter writer. Not the guy from Lost. Shed less light on distracting plot points that don’t add up to anything and give us something we really are not expecting, like Shaw and David’s Head in their Grand Theft Engineer Cruiser.

    • squag

      Agreed. Charlize and her dad was an utterly redundant plot cul-de-sac. Things were going on that should have filled the crew with panic that no one seemed to notice, or they didn’t care about if they did notice. The script from act 2 on was clunky and bad, and ruined the tone of the first half which i quite enjoyed. I mean the professor knocked the doctor out with a pole. Ten minutes later they’re going off ship together like nothing happened!
       It’s one thing to leave things unanswered and open ended, but not stupid, petty things that glare. Perhaps the only people who weren’t droids on the ship were the two professors? Everyone else was a crudely constructed ‘murder mystery night’ character who had dialogue but no context for it.

    • me

      Funnily enough, one of the AVP books has a female character carrying around an android head. No joke. Just like the first AVP movie, the first AVP book has a chick leave with the predators at the end. During the second one, I forget exactly what happens but her droid ends up as just a head and she carries it around, then I think she leaves on a predator ship. I think it was Hunter’s planet. So again they were…’borrowing’…from AVP plots. Or maybe coincidence, considering the director hated AVP and said (I’m pretty sure I read somewhere) he wanted to distance himself from that franchise

    • blastor138

       Idris and Charlize bumped uglies before the whole medpod-squid-baby scene.

  • James Fenczik

    John McTiernan  Die Hard1 and 3! GREAT RETURN!

    • Guest

       I actually liked Die Hard 3.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/4BJZUM2YJZ4HJZE3UZ6DZ3V7NM moddoxx

    I see that Budweiser is putting out a new Adam Sandler Movie, you know what to do!

    By the way…. how did you get back there? We need a conclusion!

  • Malfecia

    I think this guy nailed the plot of the movie cavalorn.livejournal.com/584135.html
    i think this movie could have done without so much religious dogma tucked away in the story. they should have stayed with the basics that have worked so well in the past storywise. we sure do see a lot of OMDS these days. Old Man Director Syndrome

  • Kurt4884

    Am I going insane, or is there a bell ringing throughout this review?

  • The Mage

    Really liked this review, actually watched if before i watched the movie which gave me a bit of a better sense of what it was about, and probably lowered my expectations leaving me in a place where i could really enjoy the movie!  I thought the biggest issue was that it started out as a drama asking interesting questions and mysteries to unlock and it just slipped into these cliche horror scenes, but continued to try to be a drama which doesn’t work when no one is acknowledging what is happening around them. There were just too many characters as well, i could care less about the other 2 pilots, and only slightly cared about the captain. jay nailed in on the visuals, i usually don’t care about 3d but this one nailed it!  One question Mike missed  was “why didn’t they have any interest in the rest of the planet!?” For all they know they might have found an alien toxic waste dump. Maybe a few miles a way is  nice city with good food, and hot giant abino babes.

  • Guest

    I love you guys and your reviews, and you’re probably right that I should just stop watching movies ha.  But I hated this movie.  I appreciate that you guys gave it a chance, but I think the reason people hated this movie goes beyond the science shit and, you know, how nothing made any sense at all.  Some of the basic elements that you pointed out in the Star Wars prequel reviews failed here.  There was no protagonist to this movie.  I mean, it started with David the Robot, and in fact it was the exposition of that character that made me excited . I thought that this would be the story of how David discovered the world around him and use abilities to edge out over humanity and gain independence.  And that would have made it really clever, having a protagonist who’s this weird distant robot who’s kind of an evil asshole and understands everything and has motivations we don’t understand.  But then it turns out he’s just working for his father.  Oh fuck.  It was really a huge letdown within the movie itself, to build up the character of David only to have his head rolling on the floor and then to suddenly switch the main character to Noomie Raspace.  

    I guess I just kind of expected you guys to rip this movie a new asshole.  And actually I agree with a lot of what you say.  I thought the first half of the movie was amazing.  But by the end all I really liked was that a) Fassbender did very well and b) Charlize looked pretty hot.  Anyway, love the review even if I don’t really agree.  

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/2RIB6OU6MDJUANZJX6CUCXHY7Y Dr. Killpatient

      Nothing made sense at all?? At all? Really?

      Don’t make me laugh.

      I guess you’re one of those hyperbole-people Jay mentions.

    • Legolas

       I felt the same way when I was watching the movie. It could have been an entirely different experience if it was David only all the way through. Imagine if he wouldn’t have woken the crew as soon as they arrived but explored the alien complex by himself. A lot of shots with this lonely melancholic feeling to it like on the sleeper ship. Just this android walking in the empty huge corridors of a fallen civilization, discovering things, making notes and reflecting on his findings and observations in a logbook. The other characters could be played out through dream watching scenes, where David observes human moments from the crews memories, again commenting on them in a personal logbook. We are never fully in on whats going inside his had, but it is implied that he has somewhat sinister motivations of his own. Well … that is not what we got .. *sigh*

  • Gregsmash

    Damn, HTB is getting dark.

    Gonna need a reboot soon, huh…

  • justaguyDP

    The secrets of “Prometheus” explained…

    Albino Lord Voldemort-icus, Pliopithecus, Pronconsul, Dryopithecus,
    Oreopithecus, Ramapithecus, Australopithecus, Paranthropus, Advanced
    Australopithecus, Homo Erectus, Early Homo Sapiens, Solo Man,
    Neanderthal Man, Cro-Magnon Man, Modern Man. 

  • Tomas_pty

    …So around the 19:17 mark they ask if there’s ever been someone who returns to a franchise/genre they made successful…

    How about Clint Eastwood: From High Plains Drifter (1973) and westerns in general to Unforgiven (1992)

  • Offer_paul

    The engineer that was woken by the android should have been slightly curious about what was going on and how long he had been in stasis, instead he just went on a rampage and started killing everyone.

    • blastor138

       Well David did say, “Rip off my head and kill these people” to the Jockey in his own language.  Prove me wrong!

      • Legolas

        It actually seems probable when you consider Davids overall behavior ;)

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/2RIB6OU6MDJUANZJX6CUCXHY7Y Dr. Killpatient

      If humans were meant to be an experiment and were meant to be infected with xenomorphs - it is like a scientist who has been conducting experiments on mice, who then suddenly finds himself surrounded by mice pointing guns at him and asking questions about the experiment.

      The way I see it, the reason he goes on the rampage is to stop humans from finding out what happened there and then complete the experiment.

      • Ricky

        my exact same feelings, doc
        thank you for showing me I’m not the only one

    • justaguyDP

      David had a wand in his hand.  David said to him, “Expelliarmus!”

  • Spam

    All can think of when I see people bitching about this film expecting another Alien clone is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ee925OTFBCA

  • Adam Sandler

    I reckon RLM has lost its balls. Crystal Skull got off way too easy and Prometheus deserved death by Plinkett as well.

    Sincerely,
    Adam Sandler  

    • Guest

       Maybe they went “soft” on Prometheus for all the valid reasons they brought of in their review. RLM isn’t about “balls” or mindlessly berating films and their makers. It’s always been about analyzing and reviewing films like any serious film fan would, but with a nice sheen of parody on top of it. You guys acting like they went “soft” on this movie after pretty much spelling out that it didn’t really warrant Plinkett treatment (Plinkett covers writing, direction, set-backs, film maker intentions, etc.; this movie only has a script worth trashing) in the middle of the review are just incredibly thick. Because they’re perspective doesn’t align with yours (which is almost always going to be negative), it means they’ve “lost their balls”. News flash: They just haven’t become jaded and cynical, and still take film seriously.

      • Adam Sandler

         Fuck u fanboi!!!!!

        JACK & JILL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!

        Love,
        Adam Sandler

        • Guest

           Hey, me again, here to tell you I didn’t like Prometheus, I’m not some moron who only agrees with people’s points because they validate my own.

          Jack and Jill sucked more cock than me in a bathhouse.

          • Adam Sandler

             Why Sir, Jack and Jill was both critically acclaimed and a box office smash – my breakthrough movie of the decade!

            I feel like touching myself at the mere thought of it!

            Peace,
            Adam Sandler

          • Brian Dennehy

            If you’re going to do the whole ironic silliness thing, I think it has to be done with a bit more precision to work. Just some honest advice!

    • rt767

      I thought the joke was that the real Adam Sandler may be pissed at RLM, due to their evisceration of Jack & Jill, and so he’s here to bitch them out about anything.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

    Yknow what would have been awesome is if the crew had been really hardcore people, all of them disciplined and mission oriented and not stupid (read: crew full of Vickers)…and all of them humorless and immune to the wonder and joy of First Contact. Just Company Men trained for decades for this critical mission.

    Meanwhile David is deriving meaning and inspiration from his studies of the alien ziggurat and is growing as a character and gaining depth as a person..becoming the most sympathetic character in the movie, with a ballbreaking (but in their opinion fair and good) leader of the expedition as his antagonist…faced with smart humans who are sure he is wrong, David must break his own programming to perhaps harm a few humans in order to save humanity, and perhaps gets it a little wrong himself in the end. Maybe in the end David discovers something surprising, like his urge to be ethical by doing ruthless things makes him as “human” as the meatbags he suddenly realizes he hated all along…or some other interesting thing along those lines. Something other than “there’s nothing” which, well, we kinda suspect already.

    Wouldn’t that have been a good movie? I just whipped that up in a couple of minutes. Why was it hard to come up with a script that was even a little better than what they actually ran with?

    • Legolas

       I dont know. Maybe because making movies is not easy. What sounds good on paper might not be as straightforward to bring to the screen as a normal person might think. I guess a professional screenwriter has always and foremost the look of things in his mind. Than again things change during shooting, because of new ideas or because some things just dont work. Than this changes have to be consistent with what already has been shot. You have to deal with fractious actors, unforseen problems with the set and thousands of people who want to throw in something of their own.

      But still … how can something with so much resources in money, workforce and talent become so medicore or even bad?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

         Did..didn’t you just…rephrase my own question but sounding like you disagreed with me?

        • Legolas

           Yeah .. suck on that biaatch! ;)

          No I picked up your final question and tried to propose an explanation for it.

  • sigaba

    I fear that this Lindelhof guy doesn’t actually know how to write a taut story, but is hired mainly because the things he write don’t actually stand up on their own as entertainment, but serve as a substrate for arguments on Internet forums.

    As if the studios have decided that selling tickets to movies is good, but making an enigmatic movie that doesn’t make sense is better, because it’s automatically “viral,” and people won’t go to see it to enjoy it, as much as they’ll go to see it so they can join the conversation.

    Does that make Damon Lindelhof a troll?

    • Hafabee

      Nah the writing was tight.  I never watched Lost so I can’t comment on that but Prometheus had a very engaging story with all sorts of great themes running just below the surface story and some very memorable sci-fi characters.  In short it’s the best science fiction I’ve seen since Children of Men.

  • Nemo3590

    Wow, I literally laughed out loud for like a full minute at the ending. :D

  • Ricky

    Awesome use of CG-FX at the end, half in the bag!

  • justaguyDP

    If Prometheus 2 is greenlit – I suspect Lindelof will a) Recycle more of
    Lovecraft’s writings and/or b) Try and draw a parallel with the black
    goo and “grey goo” (molecular nanotechnology). Even though,
    Drexler and others – have come out and stated that nano fab can be done
    non-biologically and safely. Lindelof has really boxed himself in with
    these ideas – I don’t see a pretty way out for him or Scott.

    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/06/040609072100.htm

  • Tristrim Murnane

    There’s a lot of people defending this movie. Including our Half in the Bag reviewers. Who I suspect are only doing that because they are in shock.

    As an example- many people. including myself, didn’t understand why the Android put the black goo into the wine. The answer was blotted out of your memory for being too stupid to be allowed to exist – Weyland told the android to do it while he was dreaming in suspended animation because he is fucking retarded.

    No one remembers that because it’s so outside the expected workings of the science and rules of the universe of the movie that your brain just ignored it and kept on going, Much like the characters in the 2nd half of the movie – who ignore each other and every other previous scene and keep on going. From the moment the guy who made the map gets LOST, every scene has characters who ignore previous scenes and explanations.

    This movie needs to get the full Red Letter Media treatment and be eviscerated, showing exactly WHY the movie sucks and revealing for everyone to see how bad it really is. Anything less is doing a disservice.

    Did anyone else notice that the Alien plan was to destroy the earth using the same plan as the Aliens from Play 9 from Outerspace?  Prometheus is nothing less than a 1950 ultracheap SF movie given 200 million dollars and made 60 years later.

    Only Ed Wood had more talent!

     

    • http://profiles.google.com/sonnywilliamson Sonny Williamson

      I could not agree with your comment more. I need the Plinkett tear down for catharsis, I shouldn’t have to rely on commenters such as yourself to get over the mind-numbing stupidity of this awful movie.

  • http://twitter.com/justinpodur Justin Podur

    I agree about the second half of the film, but I actually found the first half of the movie to be really irritating – Holloway and Vickers were unnecessarily antagonistic to everyone, the supporting characters were generally unpleasant, in petty ways – other than the captain and co-pilots. Taking nothing away from the actors, the ship seemed like a terrible place to work.

  • Olivier

    Prometheus is a good movie and I actually kinda liked that the characters make mistakes. It adds to the tragedy of them dying. I find it anoying when people break apart movies cause they claim to know how people react to these kinds of scenario’s. I especially find it a bit silly that the whole snake scene is dismissed. Did you guys missed the point that the guy reaching out to the snake was smoking weed just before that? That they were releluctant to take of their helmet? Some characters were a bit reckless but I think that’s a legitimate character trait for a young person on the verge of making such career/life defining discoveries. 

    • Tristrim Murnane

      Every single thing every character did, from the moment we saw an archaeologist  walk around their cave discovery without  care in the world was wrong, stupid, needlessly antagonistic, mind fucking retardard, incompetent, , ignored previous knowledge (often the very next scene), dangerous or impossible to believe any normal human would know or do. And I’m including the alien’s with 100% human DNA.

  • http://www.billykulpa.com/ Billy Kulpa

    There are most definitely six seasons of Lost – not seven.

    • Guest

       You forgot the “lost” season where all the questions get answered and everything makes sense.  Oh wait

  • Xarkov

    After seeing the movie this afternoon I felt a little like you guys in this review. Some differences though.
    I tried not to enter the theater as prequel and just take the movie as one that plays in the same universe but earlier. So to judge it without Alien in mind (trying to enter it neutral). During the movie there where many hints that my state of mind was wrong.
    None the less I really enjoyed the movie. Mainly because I choose to believe (get the inside joke ;)) that Prometheus doesn’t have the Lost syndrome. Although I never seen lost you guys explain it as I was having the same questions. 
    So basically it comes down to this.
    Did they or did they not think about all the mysterious unanswered stuff?
    If they did and there is for example a book with all the background stuff in it, the movie becomes a great movie. If they didn’t and just did it for the fuck of the movie becomes kinda lame (plot/script wise).
    Like I said, I like to believe that they know what they where doing and thought about it all and have well structured answers for them. And I would love to hear/read those because damn there are a lot of unanswered questions left.

    • Brian C

      On this point, Damon Lindelof says:  There were drafts that were more explicitly spelled out. I think Ridley’s instinct kept being to pull back, and I would say, “Ridley, I’m still eating shit a year after Lost is over for all the things we didnt directly spell out, Are you sure you want to do this?” And he said, “I would rather have people fighting about it and not know then spell it out.”  

  • Ebbs

    I agree with most everything you guys are talking about! I wish you had taken some time to point out the numerous scientific inaccuracies throughout the film. For example, how can something with obvious and visible genetic differences have the same DNA as a human? A 7th grader taking a generic science class could probably tell you that.
    Next, she mentions being half a billion miles away from earth… that places them right outside of Jupiter! They literally could have looked at wikipedia to fix that problem.

    Otherwise, I think you are right that this was a beautiful movie and a fun ride, it just has problems, mainly with the questions it raises.

    • http://twitter.com/settface Sett Wai

      Not all genes are actually used in DNA, in fact most of it junk – nucleotides that have joined to the DNA molecule just because they fit.

      Scientists say we share 95% of our DNA with Chimpanzees. This doesn’t mean we’re 95% similar to chimps. To elaborate, imagine a human had 100 genes in total. According to the statement it means that 95 out of the 100 genes are found in chimps. Nothing is said about the ORDER in which they are found, but more importantly, the chimps could have 500 Genes in total in which case only 95 / 500 chimpanzee genes are found in humans. So we only have 19% of chimpanzee genes.

      tl;dr
      What the Shaw and Holloway were supposedly pointing out (but poorly executed by the production design team and writing), is that the engineer has our entire genetic code. So they’ve got 100% of all our genes (though not necessarily used), but there’s the possibility that 100% of human DNA only makes up 10% of their total DNA.
      This idea and the first scene greatly relies on this concept: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_universal_ancestor

    • Grand Master Meio

      There is a lot of variability in human appearance. http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/wiredscience/2009/10/pygmies.jpg Notice the DNA match shown matched on like 12 variables?

      If you want to point out scientific inaccuracies, please try harder.

    • Nope

      Um no. Sorry “Grand Master.” You might wish to try 8th grade science again.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BSLENIIHHMKDS7AVUBYYYJACIM Blue Eyed Devil

    I was actually really surprised Mike didn’t have the balls to say it because all I could hear in my head while watching this movie is “nothing makes sense and no one behaves like a human.”

    The Geologist and Biologist left the group because they were scared to go into the head room with all the jars.  10 minutes later they’re in the head room with all the jars.

    The Geologist and Biologist are scared by the Captain telling them there’s a lifeform in the ruins.  5 minutes later the Biologist is not only not scared of the snake life-form but is playing with it in such a way that can only be described as “poking it with a stick”.

    Man up Mike.  We expect Jay to be the Barney Rubble wishy-washy nice guy who never rips anything since he’s playing the lovable sidekick role in HitB but you’re the main character Mike, we need you to bring the hammer on stupidness in movies!

    Just say it, no one in Prometheus acts like a real person and nothing makes sense.

  • Julian

    Directors that returned to a franchise… Martin Campbell, James Bond, Goldeneye and Casino Royale….

  • Watchawannaemailfer

    If you DO do a Plinkett review of Prometheus,you may wish to reference other movies from the franchise, particularly the original.  If you do, make sure to do some side-by-sides with Mario Bavas’ Planet of the Vampires.  Even specific scenes were copied for the original Alien.

    • blastor138

       It’s like poetry…so they rhyme.

      • Watchawannaemailfer

        Ah like in Highlander 2 where McCloud uses the same deal with making a girl stab him after saying “I am immortal and cannot die” to get her into bed, revealing that it’s just a pickup line he’s used for the past few hundred years.  Immortals should know to stay in their bubble with a tree and stop picking up strange women by being stabbed is all I’m saying.

  • Fakeemail87

    Prometheus blows cocks in hell. Fuck that movie 

  • Fakil87

    from Jay “if you get this upset over a movie then you should probably stop watching movies”

    Keep in mind this statement is coming from a guy who helped make a 2 hour feature length rant on The Phantom menace.

    So who should really stop watching movies huh? But seriously, can we all just agree that Prometheus is terrible and probably worse then the prequel trilogy. 

    • Guest

      You’re approaching this from YOUR opinion of Prometheus, not theirs. What they’re saying is that Prometheus isn’t as bad as The Phantom Menace and shouldn’t be met with the OMG WORST MOVIE EVER internet hyperbole it has been.

      But the fact that you would try to call them out on some sort of hypocrisy because you didn’t like the movie just further proves their point.

    • Guest

      from Jay “if you get this upset over THIS movie then you should probably stop watching movies”
      annnnd your point is invalid.

  • Guest

    Great movie, had me laughing up to the end.

  • JoeJoe

    What do you call a guy in a wool cap, with horned-rim glasses, and new “distressed” designer jeans? A douche-bag hipster?

    No. You call him the the douche-bag writer for Prometheus. The current episode of “Spoilers” on Hulu features the LOST writer in all his glory talking about how the audience is not wrong about how bad the writing was. What the what?

    Not only does he spill the beans about almost all of LOST’s plot points being random shit he said in a pitch meeting, he also reveals he pretty much did the same thing with the Prometheus script.

  • http://www.facebook.com/james.davis625 James Davis

    2.5 / 5 Stars

    This movie had so many things I had to question, like how did the captain know that place was an installation.  

    Think I may have missed the explanation, but how they knew what spot of the planet to explore and find the alien ship.  Why they had to make a 5min action sequence of the torch guy coming back as a mutant zombie.

    Why they established the second person I wanted to die in the movie as the hero

    The cosmetic work for the aliens, mutant zombie guy were horrible

    SPOILER
    No Editing done.  There was so much fluff that wasn’t needed.  Like the Captain and the Weyland woman going to have sex.  The captain said have a good night boys, indicating they will be left on the planet for the night, so one could assume everyone had gone off to bed when they called back with no answer on the bridge, we shouldn’t have everything spelled out for us.  Woman dropping the alien head and having to brave the storm to get it back was 4 min of not needed boredom.  Mutant zombie action sequence wasn’t needed for anything else than an action sequence and pertained to nothing that happened through the rest of the story.  Snake alien entering guy’s mouth held no purpose except to remind us this movie is based in the alien universe, nothing bursted out of the guy’s chest, was just a waste of a sequence, they could have just died from it bleeding acid around and that was enough to give us a hint.

    Why did they save the Weyland woman’s life just to kill her 3min later by being crushed?

  • Pingback: Thoughts on 3D, 4K+ and Prometheus « Vincent Laforet's Blog

  • http://www.facebook.com/james.davis625 James Davis

    Oh, also

    SPOILER {{(Do Not Read)))

    David and the scientist being all buddy buddy at the end for no reason, despite the fact it had infected her boyfriend.

    The Captain’s selfless act where no build up of his selfless character was ever established, nor his friendship with the scientist.  You’d think he’d be talking to the Weyland chick seeing as how they slept together rather than scientist.

    Fact no one realized or questioned where did the aborted…. “child” go? Or was it just irrelevant that alien hybrid was sitting in the only lifeboat on the ship?

    Fact they never followed up the Geologist loner/jerk personality towards the biologist.  Let me put it in perspective, when that thing wrapped around that guy’s arm, they should of had him simply leave the guy to his fate, have him run off, chased down and then killed, would make far more sense than what we got.

    That Asian, caucasian pilot friendship and bet referenced once and was supposed to have some emotionally powerful impact at the end.  No offense, emotional impact only happens when we care about the characters.  And the three most selfless characters in the movie, we had little to no build up of any of them.  People who should have gotten no build up at all were the 2 expendables and the boyfriend, yet they arguably had the most build up aside from the hero scientist woman whom I cared nothing about

    So many things wrong with this movie… if you don’t have Ridley Scott blinders on.

    • bobcrombie

       Did you even see the film? David is a robot who reacts to what people tell him to do, its in his programming, two the “child” was the tentacle creature that killed the space jockey. And in case you couldnt grasp this concept, the crew of the ship had been together as evidenced by their casual talking and bets they were placing with each other, the scientists had never met and were just there for the money.

      The GF hates sci-fi but loved this film, also Men in Black 3 sucked, watched about half with my sisters step kids before all of us got bored and left to go back in the mall. It makes perfect sense that you didnt get this film at all yet you were totally enthralled by Men in Black 3.

      • http://www.facebook.com/james.davis625 James Davis

        After all that explanation I gave with in depth details of flaws within the movie you still ask, “Did you even see the film?” Obviously yes, Did you?

        • bobcrombie

          Your flaws are the result of not being able to follow a plot for more than 5 minutes, the only flaw is that eveyonr expected Aliens and got Alien, go back and watch that film, its almost the exact same film with a slow build to a climax of action.

          • http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki

            if that’s what you think Alien was, then you haven’t seen Alien.

          • bobcrombie

            I saw the film quite a few times and again just a few nights before this film, its not much different but too many people now accept Michael Bay as a good film maker so they expect more action less build up and thought in their movie going experience.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

      “David and the scientist being all buddy buddy..”

      They weren’t really that buddy buddy. She found him useful, and wasn’t shy about putting him in his place (“That’s because I’m a human and you’re not”). The reason he was no longer an antagonist at that point is that Weyland was dead, so all the evil scheming he did in Weyland’s service was no longer cromulent.

      “Fact no one realized or questioned where did the aborted…”

      We know for fairly certain that David knew about the caesarean, but we didn’t see anything on-screen that informs us the others would know. It’s a fair question why he didn’t alert others (if he didn’t alert others) but it’s not hard to reason out some plausible scenarios, such as:
      1) He didn’t tell them..*yet*. He’d get to it after the meeting with SJ.
      2) He *did* tell them, but the thing was contained so it could wait.
      3) They all were told by the ship what happened, and all agreed it could wait.

      The rest of your points are good and well made.

  • http://www.facebook.com/james.davis625 James Davis

    If you want a great movie watch Men in Black 3

  • Keith

    I don’t know if this comes up in the other 925 comments, but I think Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven is a great example of a director returning to a genre and utterly pwning.

  • Anon

    I think Jay is desperately trying to convince himself Prometheus was good. I’ve had friends who mistook the plot holes for intricacies, and further defended those holes by claiming they made them think more about the movie. Hogwash. If I present you with an intact piece of art, your mind will still rip it apart at the seams to wander and pour your mind in. The bottom line is that a simpler movie plot still would’ve allowed for the exploration of the topics. The dialogue was hamfisted and expository, and the constructs under investigation were mishandled if not outright misunderstood. Neal Stephenson once said [to paraphrase] that in good science fiction, the characters always do the logical thing, yet since the forces are beyond them, they continue to find themselves in trouble. In Prometheus, the characters get into trouble because they are arrogant, ignorant or plain stupid. And for a world so grand in its creation, Ridley should’ve spent a much greater portion of the movie having his characters explore it. I don’t know…. like having the Prometheus map the planet before landing right where all the action is. Not to mention, crew relationships could’ve been formed during this part of the movie. The bottom line is that when the audience decides the protagonist Dr. Holloway should be killed off because he is a douche for taking off this helmet and generally acting like a tool, well…. you have a crap movie. Most of the audience felt nothing when he was torched. And I could go on… but at this point, none of you care either.

    • http://www.google.com/ El Robbo

      Brilliant. I think one of the biggest problems with Hollywood SF is treating science like magic. And by that I mean using it in the same dream-logical, subjective, and emotional-logical way a story based on magic can.

    • sumsi

      Its Incredible how you can know what most of the audience felt.

  • Henrik Melander

    My theory:  They didnt come to earth to create life, they came to alter it, to create the ultimate weapon. Remember how they said that the base was a military facility, why would a military facility have anything to do with creating life?

    So the Military engeneers comes to earth, plants the sead of what is modern humans, that resembles the engeneers DNA. Whait a couple of thousands years for them to spread. Then send the Black DNA altering liquid to earth and observ the ultimate survivar. There you now have ultimate killing machine alien badass biological weapon of mass destruction.

    But something went wrong in beta testing, something got loose, maby a sucessfull attempt on another planet. Something not even they could handle. So now humanity gets another 2000 years. Enough time to get to there planet.

    But what about the creature that killed of the planet… Maby it rides with the spaceship heading for there home planet now. Maby an “Alien”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_SYQ2DMG6JBSNLMENXQ7TVJBFQ4 Lee

    I did not want to see “PROMETHEUS” when I first saw the trailer. But my sister had read about the movie on the Internet and begged us to go see it. Then I remembered that I had not wanted to see 2007′s “STARDUST” and had to be coerced into seeing that movie and ended up enjoying it very much. My family and I finally saw “PROMETHEUS” and quite frankly, I don’t see what the big deal is about.

    It’s not a terrible movie, but I didn’t like it. And I believe it is basically a mediocre sci-fi thriller that pretends at being profound. I also believe that it’s overrated.

    And what was the name of the actor with the crappy Southern accent?  And what the hell  was Idris Elba trying to do?  Re-create an African-American accent?  He was more successful in that endeavor in “THE LOSERS” . . . you know, when he wasn’t trying that hard.

  • BMan56

    The movie was done well, but written horribly. The characters were boring and dumb and the plot is full of holes. I blame the script for everything that’s wrong with the movie.

    However, to give a possible answer to the question of why would they create us just to destroy us: perhaps they created life on earth as target practice for their bio weapons. Like a laboratory where they can test their weapons. We have the same DNA, so we would be the perfect test subjects. We are to them as the androids are to us–a tool and not looked upon as equal.

    That would explain the engineer deciding to crush the humans and the android like they were lab rats that got out of a cage and started asking questions.

    I don’t think the movie is about Engineers being God and sewing the seeds of life everywhere. I think it is about some of them making a little test planet on the edge of the universe where they can perfect their bio weapons so they can more effectively make war on each other. But, instead, they ended up killing themselves when the Aliens we never really see in the security footage get loose and run amok.

    • Scottw13

      Interesting, I had thought that maybe they did it as a way of preserving their race. They don’t know what could wipe them out so why not plant some seeds around the galaxy that could eventually evolve into their current state. If the seeds catch up all the better. I also thought this was the reason for the destruction of humans, they found humans to be evolving unsatisfactory (selfish, war like) so they need to wipe them out. The not so subtle cue was that they mentioned the installment had problems about 2000 years or so prior… do the the math and you will get what they were implying. 

  • Willyc87

    i prefer Prometheus than Battleship, transformers, hunger games, twilight, and all that shit,.

  • Ruiner

    This is probably the closest any reviewer(s)  has to summing up my thoughts on Prometheus as a film, the flaws, the ridiculous back lash, and its’ superiority to Avatar. No film is fucking perfect not even Citizen Kane. I truly believe Ridley Scott gave us something special here and given some time people will began to appreciate it more.

    • http://www.facebook.com/james.davis625 James Davis

      I believe the opposite will occur.  After enough repeat viewings, more and more ppl will discover the flaws present in this movie, and this movie will be pushed to the back along with Terminator 3 and the AVP films, trying to pretend it never happened.

      • Biologistwhopetspenissnakes

         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3BV2u8YWps

      • bobcrombie

         Only brain dead people who cant follow a plot, this film does not wrap everything up for you in a nice little bow and it drives people crazy. Saw the avengers and it was a lot worse than prometheus, predictable and average in every way. But thats what people want now.

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BSLENIIHHMKDS7AVUBYYYJACIM Blue Eyed Devil

           has no one seen a good sci fi film?

          there’s a pretty big difference between “not wrapping every single thing up” and Prometheus which is “nothing makes sense, just make up your own plot for yourself for why anything happened”

          • bobcrombie

            If you follow along with the story you wouldn’t have to make.up a plot, think of it this way; you just watched the evolution of the creature in a short film. The plot made perfect sense to me and anyone who has followed the alien franchise since one of the first questions most of us had was “where the f*&k did that thing come from?” But too many people today have gotten used to a film explaining every detail and dumbing it down for the viewer.

          • Sam Iam

            Just because someone does not like the movie, you immediately say he can’t follow a plot? Or has brains? What, are you 9? 

            We all get what avengers was, it does not pretend to be any other than what it is – an action sci-fi, comic book, pop-corn munching movie. We get it, ok. 
            Prometheus was trying to be a clever, horror, sci-fi movie but it is not. Not with plot holes the size of buses in the movie. What I don’t get is your strangely zealot-like defence of it.

          • bobcrombie

            That’s the problem with the way everyone is thinking, it wasn’t a horror film but a thriller film like the first Alien and people keeps bringing up plot holes but the only ones I see are made up by pepper who were disappointed this wasn’t 2 hours of alien creatures killing each other.

          • Sam Iam

            No we are not disappointed with the lack of alien on alien slugfest, believe me on that – AVP is more than enough. 

            Prometheus tries to be clever/philosophical but it is not. 

            Now, if the rest of us are merely brain-dead zombies just waiting to be spoon-fed with whatever dribble that Hollywood churns out, we would be going “Ooooooing and Ahhhing” at all the effects and nipple pokies. But we are not. Jay and Mike already listed most of the clunkers anyway so I won’t bother writing them down. It is these plotholes that most of us have problem with for the very simple reason it does not makes sense and it keeps gnawing on at the back of our mind.

          • bobcrombie

            None of the so called plot holes were relevant unless you were looking for non stop action, which even the first Alien didn’t deliver. If you want to get right down to it this was the exact same script only talking about the creation of the creature, people running to get back in the ship, check, an infected crew member trying to be left off the ship, check, an infected person trying to be used to get the life form back to earth, check, a final battle to the death, check. Hell you could even say Theron was playing Weaver’s role and the only real difference is that Lambert lived instead of Ripley and she saved the robot.

            I would ask why you hate Alien so much but its accepted that was a great film but it wasn’t the run away hit people want to believe it was, it made most of its cash in home video after Aliens came out.

            It was a great film and clearly one of the best this year.

          • Sam Iam

            How can plot and logic not linking be not relevant to the story?

            It seems as though the writers took the easy way  out when try to tie up the scenes together.I can just imagine a discussion between the writers and director…. “Uhm we need a couple of guys getting lost and infected a creepy room””But they have tracking devices””So? Not relevant. I still need a couple of guys getting infected, and oh I need them to be a bunch of morons too.”You guys can chime in on the other scenarios if you want.And all they could think of is that? Really? Perhaps they put too much technology in the movie and painted themselves in a corner. I dunno…. I keep thinking to myself while sitting in the cinema,  why don’t  they just build 10 Davids and let him explore the planet while the humans sit pretty in the spaceship?All in all, Prometheus is a movie I tried to like but I just can’t. On the whole like you inadvertently described – too much paint by number and it suffered for it because to accommodate certain scenes they had too many convenient (and stupid ones at that) cop-outs.P.s. Didn’t say I hate AVP just saying that yeah we already had an alien vs another alien movie. And I was looking for something different this time round.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

             I’m starting to think that some people show up to movies and *regularly* don’t get what’s going on, and so Prometheus is nothing special in that department. Indeed, it’s really amazing, actually, to watch the things happen.

  • Forbes

    Why does Mike look like Wolverine’s gay cousin?

    • Forbes

      Or is it Jay? The guy in the grey shirt. He looks like Wolverine’s gay cousin. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  • GhostUnit

    I have never seen Mike so genuinely messed up before. Here, I’ll bring closure:

    The core problem is that Prometheus does NOT bring any new or interesting ideas. However, it promises from the start that it ‘will’, but it obviously fucking doesn’t.

    And that’s where your current state of confusion stems from. Psychologically, you haven’t left the theater yet, and are waiting for it to “finish”. But you have (and will) in a few days come to grips with the fact that the movie is over, and that it was an empty, hollow piece of crap.

    And I just mentioned the core problem. I didn’t even touch the nonsensical plot, the nonsensical characters, and so on.

    • bobcrombie

       I bet you loved Transformers.

      Youre wrong the movie was great, sorry you couldnt follow the plot

      • Zap_Branigan

        doot…doot…robotspeak

      • Squiggly_P

        Oh the fucking irony. A guy who likes Prometheus calling people who like Transformers stupid.

        That’s like a guy who loves to eat cat shit laughing at a guy for eating dog shit.

  • bobcrombie

    I think people went into the movie expecting Aliens but instead got Alien, people forget that the Alien did not make an appearance until most of the way through the movie, they act like it was non stop action. I had a buddy who had never seen it and got bored wondering where the creature was, people have been dumbed down in their movies the past decade or so, I used to see a ton of movies every year and now its down to maybe 4 or 5.

    These same people complaining about Prometheus are the same ones that made The Avengers gross a ton of money, that film was barely average and was not a good film compared to Prometheus.

    The fat guy in this review is too dumb to understand the movie and the smaller guy needs to not be bullied in his opinions by tons o fun.

  • koolkitties

    I like how all of your concessions for liking films requires you to also add a movie that you DIDN’T like. Settle down, kiddoes. 

  • IronBerserk

    This movie is not only horrible, full of plot holes, and completely moronic, but it is also insulting as well. Insulting to religion, science, and basic human intelligence. Sorry guys but if you actually recommend this movie then Ridley Scott has played you for a moron. I can write an entire 20 page essay as to why this movie is one of the worst Sci-Fi movies I’ve ever seen in my life.

    • PromFan

      I liked it and eagerly await the 20 page essay.

      • IronBerserk

         You do? Damn, I better get to it :P lol

  • William R

    The Characters were Bland i don’t think anyone really cared if they lived or died. Also another thing that bugged me is the Ending Noomi is Furious shes Very Mad at the Engineers yet her and David go after the Entire Race Alone with What Exactly? Its not like the Ship they got on has Advanced Alien Weaponry laying about i doubt there is a BFG 9000 aboard that ship plus David didn’t stand a Chance against 1 Engineer so how is 1 Human and 1 Robot going to take on an Entire Race Alone? 

    • Alllthedrpeper

       I agree, that was the most glaring issue that was on my mind when I walked out of the theater. Zero depth, yawn. Why should I fucking care.

      I dunno why they couldn’t just do a prequel on the ship they find in Alien. Who knows.

    • http://www.facebook.com/james.davis625 James Davis

      I don’t think they’re planning to fight them…. she’s just hoping she can land, have David translate for her to say her peace, before they snap her neck.

      Btw, thank her because she will alert the rest of their race know that their plan to exterminate the human race has failed and remind them to try again.

      Way to go doctor!  Such a nonsensical plot.  Ending was all about saving Earth, yet, going to their home planet will ultimately lead to them knowing were still around and having them come destroy us Personally

    • JoeJoe

      She’s planning on dying only. She doesn’t have any food, water, or air and she’s going on a trip? 

      She, also, can’t go anywhere until she fixes the android, with all those ANDROID FIX’N TOOLS she has.

      She, also, doesn’t have a cryochamber for humans. Using an Engineer chamber is likely to kill her. Maybe it’s also “dudes only”, just like the medi-pod.

      Most of all, women are fucking crazy so all this does make sense in this context. But still, she’s dead. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/ingridspangler Ingrid Spangler

    Has no one mentioned the Ace bandages for underwear? Apparently in the future, we multipurpose items. Who knew?

  • E Thousand Oak

    This bullshit film manages to piss in the face of both religion and science. We were made by bald muscle men who want us dead. Huh?
    This was an incoherent fucking mess that, to steal from the Nemesis review, tries to make you think it’s some kind of big mystery plot when it isn’t. How many times can we learn that great visuals don’t equal a good movie, we need a script that makes sense? How can Jay even compare this to Lost? The ending of Lost answered the main questions it raised and was spiritually beautiful. Prometheus just made me want to punch something.
    What I don’t understand is how Mike and Jay kinda sorta give this one a pass when it breaks all the rules they hated the prequels and transformers for. Because Ridley’s name is on it? One long setup for a sequel and a giant fuck you to the audience. What did that maggot eating sequence in the beginning have to do with ANYTHING? That said, your second SPOILERS review is hilarious, guys.

  • E Thousand Oak

    By the way, there were 6 seasons of Lost.

  • Sellone

    i think the point of the movie is: that man [read the movie audience]  wants an easy explanation for everything.  Including the basic questions of life, and there aren’t any. The more questions you ask the more questions are raised. If you think this movie is going to give the answer to the meaning of life, then you are going to be disappointed.  The characters were all cliches, this had to be intentional, it was too obvious. The ice queen, the idealistic scientist, and the heroic captain, who exits by being crucified.
      The engineers created life on earth, the opening shows this clearly, and its confirmed later by the scene in which the dna is analyzed and shows a match to human dna. The reason the engineers created man is never confirmed, but Dave says at one point simply “because they can”. Why they wanted to kill mankind is never confirmed.  But it was based on speculation by Dave after viewing the holograph in the engineers ship’s bridge.
     I think the engineers created the xenomorph’s because they worshiped them, notice the suits they wore looked like xenomorph’s and the murals.  So they were trying to create gods and were sacrificing humans [themselves] to do it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jubal-Biggs/686455551 Jubal Biggs

      I disagree; I think the helmets are a pretty clear visual reference to Cthulhu by a clever visual artist type. The basic theme of the Cthulhu mythos? Travel to far away place (or sometimes merely your backyard) to discover that “god” is really a freaky monster type who wants to kill you. Sound familiar? To a visually-inclined art type who would be designing those architect suit helmets, the Cthulhu link would be pretty obvious.

  • AngryScottFan

    Prometheus failed on many levels.
    Where it lost me, however, as an audience and as an Alien / Ridley Scott fan was the line “it’s not an exoskeleton, it’s a helmet!”.  Take away my space jockeys.  Thanks, asshole.
    Then the last scene the pilot engineer is not dead in his control chair, but somewhere else.  Whereas we see his chest-bursted corpse in his chair in Alien,

    Maybe this happened in an alternate universe?  You know where things suck?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cratylus-Maximus/539821360 Cratylus Maximus

       1) I agree that human space jockeys is an utter cop-out. The shocking reveal of the SJ in Alien (1979) was a real scifi movie “moment”, and the mixture of surprise, horror, fascination, and fear was just wonderful and resonant still today. Well it was, until we realized they got retconned into 8 foot tall humans rather than 16 foot long exoskeletoned biomechanics. Not too far from midichlorions, in my opinion.

      2) Prometheus happens on a different planet. It’s not the same guy.

  • Boberto13k

    Can someone please explain to me why the surgery scene was the best in the movie? i don’t have anything against it i’m just trying to understand what sets it apart from everything else (also i was terribly distracted during that scene)

    • Jiří Krajňák

      because it got the best laughs

    • JoeJoe

      As far as anything visceral or emotional, was there any other scene that actually caused an emotional response? (beyond simple contempt for the writing, that is)

      The scene was tense, claustrophobic, brutal, and you got to see some weird squid’s snatch. Noomi sold that scene and I guess she’s going to be typecast as the girl that has brutal stuff done to her. 

  • Willbond

    If this movie were a woman it’d be Angelina Jolie high as fuck on cough syrup, shitting her pants while denying she just shoplifted a silver-plated crucifix at WaMalart

  • Jiří Krajňák

    What a shit movie. What’s more disturbing though is the incompetence of  ‘critics’ to discern the quality of individual aspects of a movie; I’m baffled as to why the first half of the movie was so great as stated by the bearded fella, since, you know, it’s shit?

    Yes, a few shots were breathtaking, but more than a few (the setpieces especially) were pretty lazy, and on the verge of terrible. Generic set pieces, atrocious dialogue, lazy acting , redundant characters and a stupid, stupid plot involving steroid smurfs as god (how ridiculous is this premise anyway?) do not make a good movie.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BOVPZ67X6XPEXL3RU6Z7GE4QEE Alex Brogan

       Exactly- the first half of this movie was good?  Um no- it wasn’t.  This movie was entirely stupid from the get go.  From the opening scene of the Super White Man jumping into the waterfall and turning to goo (Why?  No particular reason other than to tell us this movie is gonna be sci-fi-eee- what with the weird huge white man wearing a monk rob and all . . .

      . . . to the next scene of Robot boy “watching” the dreams of the other crew members while in cryo-sleep.  Why?  Nevermind an answer to the obvious question of why there is even an interface for that possibility on the cryo units – or why a robot would have that ability . . .  we never get an answer to why he was watching her dreams at all! Just being a weird robot guy I guess? 

      . . . . to the non existent motivations of these characters.  Just why did the Captain and his first mates agree to kill themselves by crashing into the alien ship?  Because they were so close to Shaw and trusted her?  That was never even remotely established.  Nope.  The two first mates exchange a glance like as if they were in a sitcom- and deliver an off the shelf line about how they can’t leave the ship because the captain- that no relationship to has been established at all- is just such a lousy pilot! 

      Everything is like that!  Everything in this film is mess!

      Why did Robot Boy poison Charlie Holloway?  Why?  No reason.

      Why did Holloway suddenly become a surely drinking asshole- after making the discovery of a lifetime- if not in all of human history?  Cause the aliens they found were dead?  What?

      Why was Mr. Wayland hiding on the ship he built with his money?  Why?  Why did he have to hide?  Why?  Cause the rich guy in “Contact” had hiding places?

      One scene after the next of total nonsense.  Off the shelf assembled archetypes and cliches ripped off from countless other movies- put in no particular order- over the thinnest veneer of a plot.  It was a gruesome movie going experience.  A horror. 

      • JoeJoe

        I hope you’re trolling, because even in this bad movie the things you pointed out are explained in a non-subtle way.

        The opening scene was to establish how an Engineer turned into DNA fragments that altered life. It’s the old “space seed” idea. This is one of the few scenes that requires you to thing, and even if you didn’t, the exposition debriefing spells it out for all the dumb people. I guess the dumb people didn’t understand this scene either.

        David is watching the dreams for the same reason he’s watching and Laurence of Arabia. He’s learning to emulate people, and to manipulate them. Him dying his hair is proof of the emulation.

        The captain already deduced the vases were weapons on his own. They even had a scene where he and Shaw discussed it. I guess you were too busy glory-holing in the bathroom.

        David’s “father” already told him to “try harder”. This is why he infected Holloway, it was on orders. Wayland wants his fountain of youth. It would have made sense to do lab-work first, but this movie doesn’t exactly go out of its way to make sense.

        Holloway feels the expedition was all for nothing. He even spells this out for the dumb people in his next conversation with Shaw, but you dumb people can’t be bothered with ham-handed exposition. He even says that’s why he drank the celebratory champagne by himself. Idiot.

        We don’t know, but Wayland could have been hiding because he’s responsible for all the deaths. His intention was to infect the crew members to find his fountain of youth. In his frail state, he doesn’t want the crew looking for him for retribution. It would have required a smart writer to put this into the movie. As is, there’s no reason for this “reveal” to be in the movie.

        So, yeah, you fail for the most part. Nice try looking stupid when trying to look “smaht”.

        • D

          None of that makes since Joe . . . or should i say Asshole who thinks insulting people or playing devils advocate from the safety of the internet makes you feel like a big man or that you just think its funny
          1. We dont know Wayland ordered David to infect the crew to do anything?
          2. Why does Wayland even go on this trip if his goal was to become Immortal why not wait back home on ice, put someone he trust in charge of finding this fountain of youth and bring it back?
          3. if he just wanted to meet his maker then he could have stayed home or came along but then infecting the crew?
          4. Holloway character . . . ya ok he takes a whole 360 degree turn in two seconds he goes from an educated man we realy know nothing about to a drinking dushbag . . . not very believable if you ask me . . . Even the captain figured out this was not the engineers home-world, Maybe he read the script and knew that the engineers where coming back to destroy use and that depressed him to the point of drink and going out of what little character he had
          5. Ok so the engineers have this black goo which i am guessing they created which breaks down DNA and rebuilds it or something OK then how is it that it also works like a virus that impragnets one person then turns the guy who helmet gets melted off into like a zombi character that does not break done either one of there DNA too????
          6. How does David know that the reason that the Engineers are going back to earth??? . . . maybe they check on use ever 2 thousand years or so
          7. Why is it when the ripply character is tryind to get the thing out of her she is not chased and know seems to make any attempt to find her . . . did the whole crew not notes . . . did she kill those two back in the lap that were going to put here back in hyphenation did no one see here sneak in the that one ladies room / lifepod to use the that thing to get the alian squid out
          8. how does the robot bed docter thing even take it out of her with out killing her, she should need to hold really still . . . like you do under sedation for have surgery, especially when it’s near all your internal organs. I KNOW MIKE AND JAY say that’s their favorite part in the movie but i was laughing the whole time because i was like how the hell is she not welling around in pain to the point of having the laser cut open here stomic or something and she was moving around alot anyway from the pain the laser should have cut to to deep i would think
          9. why if this is not there home world of the Engineer does all those ancient civilization some how know of this place??? if it just some stop off point you would think that it would not be important to know about
          10. how do the ancient civilization even know about this planet if it some kind memory of like the original engineer then it would have been lost after DNA was destroyed i would think not to mention that even tho all his DNA was Broken up it somehow remakes use in his image? and why would we remember some stopping point but not the home world . . . I gues your going to tell me that in the black goo the information was Engineered for use to remember write but if so we are not told this !!!

          I hope you Joe don’t think that believing everything your told as it is spoon feed in to you and not questioning things that are not explained makes you smart

          • D

            also
            11. Ignoring they whole part about learn ancient civilizations languages and that they some how would be similar to an advance race language even tho must languages ancient and modern are very different from one another. . . lets say David can read the writing on the ship, how is it he can work the ship? . . . (ignoring what he learn from video thing) did he read the ship’s manual between scenes? i dont see any writings near any of the controls
            12. how is it that out of the whole planet with other alien ships on it that not only do the come in to the planets atmosphere over one but the one that had a problem which also was meant to go to earth . . . how convenient . . . in the original Alien movie they were following a signal right
            13. how is it that during the storm in which there is 200 mile wind throwing rocks and metal that their helmets don’t break and why don’t they get cut up and killed when we know from later scenes that their suits blue fabric is thin and easy to cut thro
            14. why is it that they were in great danger from that coming storm that they risk there live to get back but as we see from the two that get stranded they could have survived it ( minus the whole dieing from monster in black goo but they did not know about that yet )
            15. Why does the Ripley girl think its an invitation? what evidence or clues does she have to make that assumption?
            16. why does Ripley even want to go find the home world on her own? if she is assuming that they meant to wipe them out “all of them” but something on the the ship broke or something and they got lazy and changed there mind why not go back home tell everybody what you found out because is kind of important to the human race and then see about sending in the army/navy to find these assholes. I guess she does not give a shit atm and is to piss to think straight so will give here a pass.
            17. And was Wayland Hiding? who is he hiding from? the daughter, david, the caption and half the crew seem to know he is there based on ther actions and the fact they dont act supriss or ask questions . . . matter of fact the only ppl home seem to not know he is their is the Ripley girl, hollaway and two guys part of the expedition crew so what maybe 4 or 5 ppl out of the 17 or so ?????
            18. Why hide from them? why not just lie and say he is going because he want to die knowing the answer and supports the Ripley girl 100% and then BS his way threw the movie until the end when he says suckers and locks them up or something?
            19. Why does the Ripley girl after getting the squid thing out of her does not get ride of it or tell anybody about it? and why does know one seem to care, you would think that the crew would ask “what happen to the alien baby thing you had?”
            20. I could keep going but ill stop here in the original alien movies not only where the droids or robots who are not cyborgs cuz the are not part human there all robot that just look human, why do they EAT??? in the original it was because they were not to know he was a robot so ash was like a spy and i just assume he was made that way but then in the other movie aliens that one eat to even tho there was no need to hide what he was ??? i thought then maybe he is part organic after all but in all the other movies and in this one they make in painfully clear that they don’t need to eat, sleep, breath and can take great amount of damage and still work so why the hell does David eat and drink in the movie WHY dam it why ???

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BOVPZ67X6XPEXL3RU6Z7GE4QEE Alex Brogan

            Get it all out! This movie really gets under the skin doesn’t it? One of those movies that every time I think about it- I wince thinking about something else in the movie that sucked badly.

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BOVPZ67X6XPEXL3RU6Z7GE4QEE Alex Brogan

            Get it all out! This movie really gets under the skin doesn’t it? One of those movies that every time I think about it- I wince thinking about something else in the movie that sucked badly.

          • D

            also

            11. Ignoring they whole part about learn ancient civilizations
            languages and that they some how would be similar to an advance race
            language even tho must languages ancient and modern are very different
            from one another. . . lets say David can read the writing on the ship,
            how is it he can work the ship? . . . (ignoring what he learn from video
            thing) did he read the ship’s manual between scenes? i dont see any
            writings near any of the controls
            12. how is it that out of the whole planet with other alien ships on it
            that not only do the come in to the planets atmosphere over one but the
            one that had a problem which also was meant to go to earth . . . how
            convenient . . . in the original Alien movie they were following a
            signal right
            13. how is it that during the storm in which there is 200 mile wind
            throwing rocks and metal that their helmets don’t break and why don’t
            they get cut up and killed when we know from later scenes that their
            suits blue fabric is thin and easy to cut thro
            14. why is it that they were in great danger from that coming storm that
            they risk there live to get back but as we see from the two that get
            stranded they could have survived it ( minus the whole dieing from
            monster in black goo but they did not know about that yet )
            15. Why does the Ripley girl think its an invitation? what evidence or
            clues does she have to make that assumption?
            16. why does Ripley even want to go find the home world on her own? if
            she is assuming that they meant to wipe them out “all of them” but
            something on the the ship broke or something and they got lazy and
            changed there mind why not go back home tell everybody what you found
            out because is kind of important to the human race and then see about
            sending in the army/navy to find these assholes. I guess she does not
            give a shit atm and is to piss to think straight so will give here a
            pass.
            17. And was Wayland Hiding? who is he hiding from? the daughter, david,
            the caption and half the crew seem to know he is there based on ther
            actions and the fact they dont act supriss or ask questions . . . matter
            of fact the only ppl home seem to not know he is their is the Ripley
            girl, hollaway and two guys part of the expedition crew so what maybe 4
            or 5 ppl out of the 17 or so ?????
            18. Why hide from them? why not just lie and say he is going because he
            want to die knowing the answer and supports the Ripley girl 100% and
            then BS his way threw the movie until the end when he says suckers and
            locks them up or something?
            19. Why does the Ripley girl after getting the squid thing out of her
            does not get ride of it or tell anybody about it? and why does know one
            seem to care, you would think that the crew would ask “what happen to
            the alien baby thing you had?”
            20. I could keep going but ill stop here in the original alien movies
            not only where the droids or robots who are not cyborgs cuz the are not
            part human there all robot that just look human, why do they EAT??? in
            the original it was because they were not to know he was a robot so ash
            was like a spy and i just assume he was made that way but then in the
            other movie aliens that one eat to even tho there was no need to hide
            what he was ??? i thought then maybe he is part organic after all but in
            all the other movies and in this one they make in painfully clear that
            they don’t need to eat, sleep, breath and can take great amount of
            damage and still work so why the hell does David eat and drink in the
            movie WHY dam it why ???

  • http://www.facebook.com/james.davis625 James Davis

    Let me put it this way…… Ridley Scott’s Alien, James Cameron’s Aliens….. the lore has no choice but to base the Alien’s origin on this nonsensical backstory whether they like it or not.  That THIS is how the aliens originated and how it will stay because I doubt they will reboot the series, again with a prequel to replace this prequel, so incredibly flawed, nonsensical story filled with plot holes and unexplained backstory will be considered canon.  Think Jay should take that into a account before lumping ppl who hate this movie and judge it negatively into his group of ppl who just whine and should never watch films again.  I mean, this like the prequels to Star Wars is now the origin story of the Aliens.  And I alike many believe it should be better

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BOVPZ67X6XPEXL3RU6Z7GE4QEE Alex Brogan

       The range of possibilities that this prequel could have kicked open . . .  and what they came up with . . .  is sad.  It is just sad what they did with this story. 

  • Nick Youngblood

    I’m really surprised that you guys went so soft on this one. I felt you
    did a great job of describing everything that was good about the movie,
    and it does have good points, such as its visuals, set design, and cinematography. But these things alone are the sauce of a movie, not the meat and potatoes. They can make a good movie great, but they certainly can’t make a bad movie good.

    After the first 30 minutes or so, plot oversights, unlikeable characters, and terrible dialogue take their toll in short order. The unlikeable characters also meant I had a hard time getting into the movie or feeling any tension because I didn’t care about anyone. Each time the movie had a “suspenseful” scene I was just mildly interested to see what horrible way they’d die next. Once everyone got to the initial jar room the characters went full retard, and from that point on everyone seemed to be acting completely randomly for all the motive I could ascribe to any of their actions. Possibly this was because the characters, with the arguable exceptions of David and Shaw, were simple caricatures with little depth, so it was hard to tell why anyone ultimately did what they did. In a movie with this many flat characters and robotic performances, it was ironically the artificial human that was the most relatable. And while a skillful writer will leave a lot to the imagination, there is a razor thin line between leaving things open to interpretation and just hand-waving things away because you don’t really have any compelling answers.

    Prometheus wasn’t without its good points. The thrust of the movie is something we can all relate to: the desire to know why we’re here. Michael Fassbender’s performance was wonderful, and the first 30 or 40 minutes of the movie, while not perfect, were quite good and showed a lot of promise. The movie has a lot of polish and mechanically it does a lot of things right, but the heart and soul of a movie are the characters and the story, and on both these points Prometheus falls as flat as it is possible to fall. I appreciate what Ridley Scott tried to do here, but I expect Prometheus will be forgotten in short order, to lie on the scrap heap with the likes of G.I. Jane and Hannibal.

    • http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki

      don’t worry, Plinket will do a proper review right after Robo Cop Dog 3: Kitty’s revenge.

  • Sam Iam

    No the best scene in the movie wasn’t the surgery scene. NOT even close.

    It was when the captain hooked up with Meredith by just using a concertina….
    A CONCERTINA ! Freaking off-tuned at that.

    That man is my hero.

    Total epic legendary win.

    • Sellone

       vickers was an android

      • Guest

         like it mattered…

    • JoeJoe

      Momma had a squeezebox for her own. In-and-out and In-and-out.

  • Daniel

    has any one questioned the idea of ‘Space Jesus’? Considering the cave paintings and the fact the dead corpses of the Engineers was from 2 has a carbon dating about two thousand years ago? and the planet being called LV-223, considered to be a bible reference to Leviticus 2:23 ‘the unclean who enter the temple shall be punished by the lord’? and because the ship landed on the planet on Christmas day? and….. blah blah blah.
    This movie has too much homework for it to make sense.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/4RN6RQ72YRFAKY52AOEOEO2MNY Micah

      -_- There is no Leviticus 2:23, and there’s no verse in the bible saying “the unclean who enter the temple shall be punished by the lord.” That doesn’t evens sound like a bible verse, it just sounds like what someone would think a bible verse would sound like who’s never opened one. 

      • blastor138

         http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus+11%3A2-23&version=ESV

        There is a Leviticus 2:23 but it has nothing to do with entering a temple.  This was easily looked up by an atheist using power of Google.

        • http://profile.yahoo.com/4RN6RQ72YRFAKY52AOEOEO2MNY Micah

          That’s leviticus chapter 11 verses 2 through 23, not chapter 2, verse 23

          • http://profile.yahoo.com/4RN6RQ72YRFAKY52AOEOEO2MNY Micah

            Anyway the point is that theory, or that part of the theory is bunk.

          • Daniel

            Well, i certainly screwed that one up. I did find a better reference, which is real, from the King James edition: “Say unto them, Whosoever he be of all your seed among your
            generations, that goeth unto the holy things, which the children of
            Israel hallow unto the LORD, having his uncleanness upon him, that soul
            shall be cut off from my presence: I am the LORD.  Leviticus – Chapter 22 – verse 3
            that still works in the theory but its so vague it might as well be bunk.

  • destructicore

    “Hard to pin down.” That sums it up nicely. It’s great to see a true hard science fiction film come along and get people wondering, even if it’s just to poke holes in the movie’s own logic. You could probably do that with any film. No script is perfect. Where I think Prometheus succeeds is certainly on its tone. Cool design of the landscapes, ships, interiors, and some of the best special effects I’ve ever seen in a movie. I will say this is the best 3D movie I’ve seen since the craze started, Avengers being the last one to wow me, and before that was probably Avatar. Prometheus puts all the previous to shame. I think I can say that with confidence. The beginning alone (my favorite scene) is so mesmerizing and epic, and also one of the most enigmatic. In so many ways I was reminded of 2001 space odyssey, with David’s initial stroll about the ship and routine. In my mind, David was the main character, and the focus on him and his quest for knowledge was the most interesting character arc. Here I attribute motivations to David that are never explicitly stated in the film. No one knows (besides the screenwriters) what David is up to, what his orders are, why he’s watching Shaw’s dreams, or why he watches Lawrence of Arabia. We assume he wants to be human, like his creators. That is an assumption. Another would be that he’s just mimicking the films he watches, to better fit in, so no one would suspect him when his actions turn more diabolic. What’s strange is that when we are introduced to the other characters, besides Shaw and Holloway, none of them have even met each other before embarking on the journey. Right off the bat, this movie gets you wondering. Some people can fill in the gaps with certain assumptions about why the characters are there. ‘Just to make money’ sums up the geologist’s motivation, and not being a main character, he quickly gets stranded in the creepy-as-all-hell temple/base with the other expendable character. Not defending the writer here, but in a rated R sci-fi movie, people have to die, and as long as they do I don’t care how unbelievable the situation is when it happens. They’re on a freakin’ alien planet, exploring alien ruins, with alien technology, alien creatures, and actual aliens, both literally and figuratively. Suspended Disbelief isn’t a viable argument in my mind, since the whole movie is based on the idea that a spacecraft can go faster than the speed of light, which hasn’t been done/proven yet. That’s why it is fiction. I certainly didn’t think I was going in to see a documentary. The whole meat and bones of the narrative revolves around the engineers, imo. Who are they? Who created them? Did they create us? What was the ‘black goo’ the carried? All questions that aren’t answered, all questions the audience, through lack of explanatory dialog (the closest thing being the holographic recordings), must assume their own answers to. Something clearly happened to the engineers on LV-223 in the distant past, something to do with earth. Is humanity involved? Most likely considering the cave paintings Shaw and Holloway discovered on earth. If you’re of the opinion the the opening was depicting the engineers seeding prehistoric earth with life, this would show that they continued to make visitations to the earth throughout history, up until humanity’s early history. Beyond that is conjecture. What the film shows and what we the viewers must assume about the events that took place within it are two very distinct aspects of the overall mythology, and the result is very fragmentary narrative-wise. The audience is forced to…GASP… think it through a bit and make assumptions about the film’s history beyond what is just depicted. And point out plot holes. Sure I could do that, but I enjoyed the movie too much, although it did have issues. Specifically the end. Seemed a bit rushed. I liked it because it was closer to a true hard science-fiction story than anything I’ve seen depicted on film recently. One thing to consider is that the budget on this movie played a huge factor in what could be depicted and what couldn’t. Ridley Scott wanted a $250+ but Fox trimmed it way down. Past events were depicted (aside from the opening) through the holographic recordings (all CGI), so on top of the already monumental amount of effects work I’m sure the budget would have needed quite a bit more to animate an entire holographic war with whatever it was the engineers were running from. On the question on if they were running from the black goo, or creatures created from it, if the goo was a weapon, wouldn’t they be running into the container chamber to use it against whatever the were running from? Slippery slope all round. Let’s just say it’s a film with some deep concepts.

    • Destructicore

      $250+ million, sorry

    • GhostUnit

      this crap is not “hard science fiction”, it’s an idiotic fanfic written by a drug-addled liberal arts major

      • destructicore

        I will concede you that point. Later on a say it was the ‘closest thing’ to hard science fiction and that is a better statement of my opinion. You’re right, no way is it actual hard science fiction. One of the reasons I stopped typing was because I was forgetting what I had already typed.

    • GhostUnit

      and what are the “deep concepts”, exactly? name them or shut the fuck up already.

      The only possible one I see is exogenesis, and it was not even developed past just saying “hey how about this, we were made by aliens!”.

      Funniest thing is that when the movie questions its own concept with a character saying “um, but what about evolution and you know, hundreds of years of hard scientific evidence”, the whole thing is handwaved with “yeah, but this is what I choose to believe”… and somehow, this is supposed to be “deep” or “insightful”???

      What a load of bullshit. This whole movie is bullshit. I want my 14$ back.

      • Destructicore

        u mad, bro? you listed one concept for yourself. I’m glad for you. The other was right there in the text if you read it my friend. Faster-than-light travel and interplanetary exploration are indeed science concepts depicted in fiction. Besides that and exogenesis (good word), I would say artificial intelligence plays a crucial role in the story, also a scientific concept. There are three off the top my head for those of you who need them spelled out for you.

        • GhostUnit

          none of that is ever developed nor are there any interesting or new ideas.

          We have all seen the above mentioned crap in countless other movies, and Prometheus does absolutely nothing to expand those concepts or use them in any meaningful way.

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BOVPZ67X6XPEXL3RU6Z7GE4QEE Alex Brogan

             Shit yeah.  I came here hoping to see a no holds barred review of this awful movie.  And what do I get?  24 minutes of two guys trying to come up with anything good to say about this film while they couch their criticisms in stupid glances at the camera.  Fuck!  Is anyone honest and on the level these days at all?  Go to Amazon.com and you have to scroll past 100 obviously paid reviews of this film- churned out by fucking liar douche bags making 10 bucks a review from some publicist company hired by this film’s production company!  I was hoping to see some straight up angry honesty from this site- but nope! 

            Have to come to the comments section to read someone who isn’t a liar whore- tell the straight up truth about this cynical piece of shit cruddy movie that does a total disservice to the entire franchise.

            You know- even the worst and more “come on already” Alien sequels were better than “Prometheus”.  Even the cynical make a buck Predator/Alien hybrid movies were better than this movie!

            This movie was fucking nonsense.  Plot-less stupid fucking nonsense!  Looked good?  Special effects were cool  FUCK THAT!  Entire scene sequences of this movie could have been removed and it wouldn’t make one bit of difference to what there is of a plot in this movie!  This film was an illiterate mess.  It played like an 8 year old narcissist was telling a story- “And then . . .  and then . . . and then . . ”

            If you are two years old and flashing lights and whistles and buzzers are all you need to be entertained then this is your movie! 

            I have been more entertained by mediocre law and order episodes I only watched because I was too lazy to reach for the clicker to change the channel.

            This movie sucked.  All involved in it should be ashamed of themselves. 

      • JoeJoe

        You know the answer, there’s nothing deep here. Only pseudo-intellectuals would ever think so. No one has an intelligent conversation about anything because that would require and intelligent writer. Kevin Smith’s “contractors on the Death Star” idea is deeper than anything presented here.

    • Destructicore

      wow. I found this hi