Half in the Bag: Pixels

July 27, 20156,761 Comments

Mike and Jay (along with Rich and Jack) attempt to comprehend the thought process that would go into creating a lazy, creatively-bankrupt film such as Adam Sandler’s “Pixels”. But more importantly, the gang analyzes and differentiates the phrases “for some reason” and “for no reason.”


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • Daniel Mueller

    First! what do I win?

  • winterd

    No forks in brains?

  • Spacevagrant

    Oh dear, let the fun begin.

  • The Ghost

    About bloody time, fellas. About bloody time.

  • Bubs

    Seventh!… Did I do this right? Email me at:
    NoOneGivesAFuckWhoPostedFirst@InternetDouche.com if I did this right.

  • The Ghost

    Three minutes later: I might have Chastained my pants.

  • Sully

    YAYYYYYYYY….. pixels.

  • RLMkeepitup

    In a parallel universe, somewhere, Adam Sandler is hil-ar-ious! Everyone is looking so chill in this video, except Jack he’s a bit up tight.

  • Sully

    Lipstick… bend over.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    @uhfuckoffaudience.com

  • Sully

    @FreshOuttaFucks.gov

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Skinny Rich Evans is my dream boy

  • ashwilliams

    Frauds!! Hacks!! thanks for all

  • Palpatine

    The time has come, execute Order 69, and give Pixels what it deserves!

  • Sully

    Order 69 would imply that Pixels gives something back… and I don’t want it, Palpy. I DON’T WANT IT!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Order 69 involves Jessica Chastain right?

  • Palpatine

    Not with me it doesn’t!

  • Sully

    You’re thinking Orders 57, 21, 17, 41, 42, 60, 83, 87, and, if Bryce Dallas Howard and three others are involved, 888.

  • Ogrot

    So much new Redlettermedia content I want to gouge out my fucking eyes!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Which ones involve our other obsessions like Anne Hathaway or Karen O?

  • Sully

    All of the above. They’re non-exclusive Orders.

  • The Ghost

    In all seriousness,

    Rich, you’re doing great. Really. And don’t lie: I know you were desperate for that little slice of affirmation from a faceless thread commenter.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What are the exclusive ones?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Sully

    Watching the guys trying to keep their shit together while doing this review is funnier than the fucking movie.

  • Fuck Pixels! Fuck movies!

  • Uncle Dan

    “We really appreciate it”

    I was expecting Rich to say “We really do.”

  • Sully

    Solid “Both” joke at the 7:15 mark.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mike compared Sandler to Orson Welles. Let that sink in.

  • Sully

    How da fuck would I know? I’m a fox.

  • stryker1121

    There were hundreds if not thousands of hours spent writing, directing, set designing and catering Pixels. Let that sink in, friends and neighbors.

  • RLMkeepitup

    omg the end of this bleu my mind! that piano track at 26:03 gives me nostalgia tingles of old episodes.. can’t believe it’s almost been 100 of them. Thanks guys

  • diehounderdoggen

    Anyone else catch Tim Heidecker’s place on the wall o’ employees behind Jay? Maybe that Zone Theory thing isn’t paying the bills.

  • Sully

    There were hundreds if not thousands of hours spent writing, directing, set designing and catering Pixels. Let that sink in, friends and neighbors.

    Fixed it for you.

  • Alex Lee

    @29:28. There’s a hand continuity error. Plinkett is suddenly right handed.

  • So what you’re saying is Adam Sandler should star in a remake of “The Day the Clown Cried.”

    (I actually started wrote the above comment before you mentioned it in the video… weeeeird.)

  • Daniel Mueller

    You sir, are a fox, and I do not trust foxes.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    In this episode of Half in the Bag, Rich Evans kills himself.

  • stryker1121

    Yay another masturbatory geek power fantasy cuz that’s exactly what gaming needs today!

  • Sully

    RACIST!

  • Cynical Optimist

    Not even the Dinklage could balance out the Mall Blart and Sandler, eh? I figured.

  • Palpatine

    This was the best HitB you guys have done a while, both review and story wise.

  • Bubs

    Said no one ever.

    (As a side note, I really hate this joke. It’s the 2010s version of “…NOT!” But this seemed appropriate.)

  • Bubs

    “I don’t like being stabbed.” – Jack Packard, 2015

  • Il_padrino

    Just popping in to say to Rich Evans, no, you are not the only person in the world who hates Fred Savage. That hoarse little moppet made my teeth itch when I was a kid.

  • Russell Mathias Furr

    Rich’s evil laugh…

  • Jay Stein

    The name of this movie should be VOXELS

  • Sausages!

  • castlemonster

    We will sell no wine before it’s time.

  • RLMkeepitup
  • Bubs

    If I’m dumb enough to watch an Adam Sandler movie, you can be goddamned sure that I’m too dumb to know what a voxel is. Still, +1 for 3d humor.

  • fred

    mmmHHHAAAUAUUUGH– the f-FRenCH CAmpaign ….

  • Sully

    Is that a low center of gravity joke, you insensitive fuck?

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Are you guys sick?

  • RLMkeepitup

    This is basically Mike’s reaction to the movie: http://i.imgur.com/H5uxvxp.gif

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    is that a holocaust victim next to Mike’s head?

  • castlemonster

    Jack’s entrails look delish!

  • Sully

    No, that’s Jay.

  • Cynical Optimist

    No its a fat joke! Because Kevin James is fat and Adam Sandler has a fat head and Dinklage is fat with talent! Now shut up and laugh while youre shutting up!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    7.5/10 No Polybius. Unsubscribed.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Let’s ask Palpy

  • Palpatine

    What’s Polybius?

  • origonalname112

    If you want, here’s a review of pixels that’s funnier than the movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFD2293oGvA

  • Sully

    I just watched one.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    You guys, stop with all the free content already; I haven’t even had a chance to watch all of your AntMan review. Geezusssss.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • SnareRiff

    I think it’s time for Red Letter Media and Previously Recorded to split. Sensed an assload of passive aggressive tension in this video from Mike & Jay. I think Rich and Jack are much better off on their own! Fuck off Mike & Jay!

  • Red Skeleton

    What? Another video already?! Stop all the uploadin’!

  • origonalname112

    But this is by hack frauds.

  • origonalname112

    Well played.

  • The Ghost

    #hottakes

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Oh gawd, these guys are friends, have been for a while. I know; I know what you’re going to say. But no, unfortunately these guys are a package. And also, most of the ‘tension’ is fabricated. Are you fresh off the boat?

  • Adzl33t

    I hope they review Hotel Transylvania 2 next, those movies have Sandler waste genius Gennedy Tratavosky’s skills when he should be reviewing Samurai Jack the movie

    Also Im still asking for an animated movie review on this show

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Fucking lizard people.

  • RedLetterRich

    I did, must have been cut in editing.

  • shogunmaster

    Quiet, you. More vids!

  • Palpatine

    They already reviewed an animated movie. It was called Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

  • Studio Executive

    Oh thank god, four more people bought tickets to “Pixels!” That’s a 20% increase in the domestic gross!

  • Palpatine

    It’s crazy how much content there’s been this month.

  • Adzl33t

    That gag is getting tiresome

  • Wizard Phoenix

    HEY OOOO

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Didn’t they review Terminator already?

  • Palpatine

    He destroyed that film without breaking a sweat.

  • SnareRiff

    No this tension is not fabricated. It’s Mike and Jay trying to make Rich and Jack look like fools on camera.

  • Palpatine

    Oh hai Rich.

  • Palpatine

    I knew that was an animated film.

  • Palpatine

    The gags on here never tire out.

  • Adzl33t

    Pre Rec better not be cancelled

  • Sully

    Shhhhhh… you’re talking crazy talk. Here. Take two of these.

    http://i.imgur.com/5hK13Uz.jpg

  • David Philip

    When Plinket bursts in he’s holding the revolver in his left hand. When you switch to the Rich and Jay reaction shot with the gun in-frame, it’s now in double’s right hand. Switching back to Plinket, it’s back in his left hand. Unacceptable, sirs!

  • Sully

    Are there any other kind?

  • Jay Stein

    That’s because Mike and Jay look like fools already

  • Andrew Thompson.

    ahhh yeah. TUESDAY!

  • Mark Bisone

    Hello. His name is Mark. He lives on the second floor.

  • locoma

    just… wow

  • SnareRiff

    Those better be suppositories.

  • Sully

    Will it be in the Half in the Bag: Pixels: The Rich Cut Special Edition Boxed Set Bluray/DVD combo pack w/ Vudu digital download?

  • Sully

    And your name had better be “BareSniff.”

  • The Summer of George

    Other things funnier than this movie:
    Cancer, The Holocaust, AIDS, 9/11, dead Leonard Nimoy, everything.

  • Sully

    Called it! Just not for my time zone.

  • Sully

    “dead Leonard Nimoy”

    You may have gone too far in a few places, but I’ll allow it.

  • origonalname112

    I love the videos with guests like rich and jack. More perspectives, and the more people there are the funnier it usually is. They add to the atmosphere.

  • David Philip

    You’re obsolete, Palpy.

  • Ogrot

    Urban legend from the early eighties about a video game cabinet that never actually existed.

  • Ogrot

    Yeah I had the same thought.

  • Sully

    Nothing. What’s polybius with you?

  • Junkie

    fork in the brain

    fork in the brain

    fork in the brain

  • Palpatine

    People only care about Sith Lords that have twenty Lightsabers and jump around and explode.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Funny Joke.

  • Palpatine

    I am a flyover cow, moo!

  • Chancellor Valorum

    Another Half in the Bag episode so soon after the last one? Well, I’m sure as hell not complaining! I’m sucking them down like coca-colas.

  • David Philip

    Because they’re the coolest! Because they have lather thorwds.

  • Red Skeleton

    Wow, Bootsy plays Battletoads on James Rolfe’s channel, Games Done Quick is on full swing (supporting Doctor’s Without Borders), and RLM has updated twice in the past week month. It has been a good week for internet shows.

  • Paul S.

    “Thaymes” river – <3 stoklasa

  • Palpatine

    Ha ha, Bootsy.

  • Red Skeleton

    OH HE DID *NOT* SAY THAT!

  • Bubs

    They didn’t have to work too hard.

    Badum tsh!

    Also, you’re wrong.

  • Palpatine

    How is it pronounced then?

  • Jay Stein

    River TEMZ

  • Red Skeleton

    That.

  • Red Skeleton

    +5 for Wonderyears Paul almost joke.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    There were no farts!??!!

    I WAS MISLEAD! MISLEAD!!!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    For some no reason.

  • Jay Stein

    It would have been cool if Adam Sandler swallowed a centipede pixel voxel mushroom and then farts out voxelated pixel gas from his anus

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    First STAR TREK reference @ 15:50.

  • The Ghost

    Ok, I definitely fell asleep for at least 20 minutes of the film but I’m 99% sure either Pac Man or Q*Bert farted. I forget which one.

  • Jay Stein

    well Q*Bert looks like he’s got an anus so maybe it was him

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Jack must really like hotdogs. he had heaps of them in his stomach.

  • Red Skeleton

    +5 for “For no/some reason” pedantry.

  • Sully

    *MISLED

    But I’m with you.

  • Jay Stein

    he has trouble masticating

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    This is a perfect example of pre-conceived criticism. If these guys were honest, they could go in to any special effects movie and pick it apart completely, just like this. This was just a movie they went in looking for sh!t to complain about.

  • Jay Stein

    And from the looks of it there was plenty

  • Sully

    What makes you think they were hotdogs?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Defuck is going on between Rich and Mike?

  • Jay Stein

    They work together?

  • Sully

    To be fair they did the same thing with Transformers: Dark of Extinction. Hell, they didn’t even watch the whole movie. They divided it up.

    This is what they call a “fan service” review.

  • Red Skeleton

    Ok I just watched it…. uh, he said it in that kind of sarcastic tone he uses when he knows he’s doing something wrong, so….. I’ll allow it. Still subscribed, Patreon Donation intact.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Oh no he ate the bag of dicks, that was a present for Adam Scamdler.

  • Jay Stein

    Mike and the guys enjoy ripping Adam Sandler new anuses so he can shit out more of his so called movies

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Dick in Q*Bert’s nose @ 25:55.

  • Sully

    I’ll allow it.

  • Sully

    At least now we know what kind of porn Jack’s into.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    it has always been thus. From the dawn of time Mike has yearned to destroy Rich.

    https://youtu.be/S02pwn3owdg?t=31

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    More hot dogs without mustard. WHAT THE FUCK!

  • Jay Stein

    Jack in Q*Bert’s nose

  • Andrew Thompson.

    heaps of ketchup though.

  • Martín Galarza Flores

    I think you meant Rise of the Revenged Ultron.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Ah, the French…

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    No mustard! Unsubscribe!

  • Sully

    Are the weird Reddit, Youtube, and part timers gone yet?

    https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8145/7287025584_62a223662c_b.jpg

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You’re a fox, not a spelling Nazi.

  • Sully
  • Sully

    Is there a fucking difference? ‘Cause if there is my mama never told me about it!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Jack does a good BWA-HA-HA!

    #Team Jack

  • HeftyJo

    If you call those hotdogs I’d hate to see what you consider smoked sausage.

  • Bubs

    masturbating*

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Looks like.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    This episode was made for no reason. Or was it made for some reason. No?

  • HeftyJo
  • Ogrot

    Was having Jack pull chorico and hot dogs out of his guts supposed to symbolize that this whole episode was nothing but a sausagefest?

  • Sully

    Both.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    BASS!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    when Mike said “Both.” my spine tingled.

  • Sully

    That means you’re gay. Or maybe it means you have a soul. I’m not sure. I’m not fluent in either of those things. Where’s Omitted when you need him?

  • Sully

    Get off Jacks dick(s)!

  • Palpatine

    Thank God.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    *fluids

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its viral meningitis.

  • Palpatine

    My evil laugh is better than his.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    *spinal.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I said he does a good one. Not an EXSSSSSSSSSELLENT one.

  • Sully
  • Andrew Thompson.

    no thats Mr Burns. Palpy says “Good, GOOOOD.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Times as in Morri Day and the…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Well back to work, thank you RLM for teaching me to hate Scamdler again.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Time to move on…

    “Rogue Nation solidifies the fact that Tom Cruise is the quintessential action star, carrying the quintessential action franchise. With all due respect to 007, at the moment, nobody does it better.”

    Oh FUCK YOU cinemablend.com guy.

  • Palpatine

    All the Mission: Impossible movies suck.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I only saw the one, what, 20 years ago? I don’t remember a single thing about it except its star was pretty buff for a dwarf.

  • David Philip

    Palpy, you’re awfully busy after falling down a mineshaft.

  • Sully

    I wouldn’t go that far. I’ve enjoyed them all save John Woo’s abortion addition.

  • LameSame

    I was waiting for those two frauds to die! What a happy ending! Welcome back, Mr. Plinkett.

  • Palpatine

    I just saw a commercial for the new Vacation. Fuck it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    He’s been working out. Getting ready for his big comeback in J.J. Abrams’ thingy.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    How many have there been?

  • joeblowfromidaho

    I skipped the Ant Man review because I intend on seeing it in theaters. I did, however watch the beginning and end so that I’m up to date with the story line.

    I lead a sad existence.

  • Sully

    That movie may be the biggest middle finger of the year.

  • Palpatine

    Tru dat.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Dude Who Plays Thor and a fake dong in his pants. It’ll be huge.

    (The movie. Not the dong. Well, the dong will probably be huge, too. But fake. Not hugely fake. Just fakely huge.)

  • David Philip

    Vacation is rated-R. What are they putting in there?

  • Sully

    Not enough, Pa. Yeah, I said it! NOT ENOUGH!!!

    (It’s 5. The answer is 5. The 5th one is about to come out, so yeah… 5)

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    5!?!!

    Like, one more than four and two less than the fyucking fast car moopies? Really?

  • Sully

    You’re goddamn right.

  • Sully

    *Thor Thorsworth

  • Rex Reason

    I’m still here.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Are you one of the guys who is mad at a few of us for hating marvel moopies?

  • XAV

    Jack’s disembowelment made me hungry.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    #TeamJack

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The Half in the Bag storyline? HA!

    HA! HA HA! HA!

    #LaughingWithYouNot@You

  • Sully
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    If I wanted “fan service,” I’d hire a Japanese hooker.

    #NotSureButMaybeRacist

  • …Wow. You guys weren’t kidding when you said the next part was gonna be soon.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    This is the guy who misled me! Grab the torches! Burn him!

    (Easy mistake. There are almost always farts. I’ll allow it.)

  • Sully

    Seems more like a compliment… unless you’re a non-Japanese hooker.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    *middle finger fake dong

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That seems wrong. Even if it’s true, it’s really, really wrong.

  • Alex Lee

    “I didn’t progress” should be a catchphrase.

  • Jack O’tears

    Yeah, Tetris isn’t released until 1984, so how does it end up in the alien arsenal?

  • DickTheBirthdayBoy

    I haven’t been this excited since the Showtime Pizza Bear touched me in my tingly spot!

  • Sully

    It’s already been filed on the ad nauseam shelf.

  • Robby

    I fucking lost it at the Qbert part.

  • MichaelKz

    Adam Sandler should just stick to producing The Price is Right.

  • MichaelKz

    That’s a lot of Polish sausage at the end of the video.

  • Mac Stanson

    Bob Barker just rolled in his grave.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    *cinemabland

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its a trap! Rex has been here ages.

  • So is the combination of Pixels’s unanimous bad reviews, the backlash towards the racist cowboy movie, and Sandler’s visible world-weariness finally gonna do him in? Is the end of Happy Madison?!

  • David Philip

    That’s what she said!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Now when Mike said “plus he’s not going to talk afterwards.”
    was that Mike saying he doesn’t like conversation after sex or was it a rape joke?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the Russians were secretly working with the aliens to steal the secret of Subway Subs.TM

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    So, Ant-Man was “above average” and Pixels was “just sad”? Someone mail these frauds a sharpening stone because they’re losing their edge.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Look at all the happy sleepy americans… they watched a new HitB then wore themselves out commenting and are they are sleeping like cute little RLM babies….
    lets get some pillows and smother them!

  • DickTheBirthdayBoy

    Oh yeah, and that Spoony guy…well….he, uh….watched wrestling on tv and rambled about it or something. Well worth 3500 bucks a month!!

  • Uncle Sporkums

    London Bridge is in ARIZONA!! Check your facts! There are NO such things as bridges in London now! And there’s not one where the old one used to be! Unsubscribed!

  • Amontillado

    DId Mr. Plinkett say, “Bonsadie you sonofbitches,” when shooting Rich? Oh shit. SPOILERS!

  • Amontillado

    Now we need the real Mr. Plinkett to meet the fake Plinkett in a Half in the Bag/Mr. Plinkett Review crossover to make the RLM Cinematic Universe complete. Also Jack and Rich need to be revived for PreRec crossover with those Canadian dudes plus the Wizard and Jessie need to show up for BtW. Then the RLM Cinematic Universe is complete.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Someone at RLM actually reads these comments? All this time I thought we were shouting into the void.

  • Astro Zombie

    Jay dies a little more inside every-time Mike brings up STAR TREK.

  • Domo

    Aww, they didn’t green screen outside their repair shop like they have in the past. It’s just a black empty space now.

    That’s Adam Sandler levels of lazy, except Adam Sandler would have just left his beer in the shot by accident, and decide to keep the scene in because of the expense of re-shoots.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s more like Rotor than Adam Sandler

  • Domo

    This is proof that Mike and Jay don’t pay any attention in your twitch streams.

  • MichaelKz

    He really does serve as producer. I think it would be best if Sandler stays behind the camera for the rest of his career.

  • Domo

    What he really mean to say was Transformers: Annie Hall.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “He’s only good at three very specific video games”

    Do I sense some self-projection, Jack Packard?

  • Domo

    That’s not very nice. He’s good at four video games, not just three.

  • Domo

    2 episodes in one week.

    The only week where RLM is fully in the bag.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think this was directed to omitted: http://i.imgur.com/PvS4DZXl.jpg?1

  • Joe Syxpac

    Somebody get Rich a hot dog. He appears to be losing weight.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    jack ate them all.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    I don’t like Sandler, he’s course, rough, and irritating, and he gets everywhere

  • Andrew Thompson.

    just like your mum.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    reminds me of my ex wife

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    *crack

  • Joe Syxpac

    I don’t get it.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    it’s gonna be grate

  • Joe Syxpac

    That’s not Jack. That’s a tapeworm that they trained to act like Jack after he passed from an unfortunate case of hot dog poisoning.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Its ‘Bonzadaliavich’ i think its a bastardised version of ‘Dasvidaniya.’
    but that just my opinion.

  • Thanatos2k

    Thank you for seeing this garbage so I never have to.

  • The same can be said about a cat penis.

  • Thanatos2k

    Rich, I’m so sorry, but there are cheat codes for Pac Man. Well, Ms Pac Man at least. You can enter a code to enable the fast mode.

    http://www.gamewinners.com/Cheats/index.php/Ms._Pac-Man_And_Galaga:_Class_Of_1981

    We’ve done it on the Pac Man arcade machine that we had at work.

  • Yes. Now it is time for Europe to rise, you puny Australian!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Never before has washing hands looked so evil: http://i.imgur.com/NZKAhiD.gif?1

    And I think Jack’s hand is turning into a facehugger: http://i.imgur.com/PDei6z3.gif

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I have never liked the fake plinkett thing. Rich is the Original Plinkett.
    Real Mr Plinkett is a vicious serial killer and movie reviewer.
    Original Mr Plinkett is a sad old man who likes night court and children.

  • It doesn’t matter, because he’s dead now. He shouldn’t have eaten so much sausage, though. That’s just as unhealthy as Rich’s recent lead poisoning.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    come down here and say that you Euro Zone pleb.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Andrew Thompson.

    I do remember thinking at the time Jack has medical training!!… or is a massive OCD germaphobe.

  • Thanatos2k

    Why did Jack have a package of polish sausages under his shirt?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its the best way to prevent stabbing…. unfortunately vicious dog attacks become more frequent.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i have to agree with Richs face on this one.

  • Domo

    half in the bag x 2 = full in the bag!

    Maybe I’ve watched too many Adam Sandler films…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *Sex life

  • Andrew Thompson.

    All so most arcade games have test modes and ways to add extra lives.
    Hell in the old days if you got a Piezo igniter from a BBQ you could get free games by zapping the coin slot.

  • Thanatos2k

    Movie Bob is a far bigger hack and fraud then these guys. He’s a real piece of shit too.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    1 half bag x 1 half bag = two HALF BAGS!
    to make 1 bag you would need to mix the bags but thats chemistry or physics.
    #MAKING THINGS UP IS FUN!

  • Thanatos2k

    No, the movie was just shit.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    ”You’re fired” is Rich becoming Donald Trump, was that some kind of subliminal protest or somethin, hmmm

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    to make 1 bag you need my ex wife, or, your mum

  • Andrew Thompson.

    You made a bag out of your wife?… dude! too far!

  • Thanatos2k

    If there is a god.

  • Thanatos2k

    They just got back from Pixels, it must have been night. Ignore the sunny day intro.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    pretty sure that’s what killed Spock

  • Thanatos2k

    Well those are the dip switch settings. This is a straight up code you can enter.

  • There isn’t a universal code for all games and life though. They could have made a Konami code joke,….but lazy

  • Evertale

    That truly is the magic of movies…

  • TapewormBike

    Holy fuck, guys, take a break, too much content!

  • z7gizzyz7 .

    I really hope that Rich and Jack get the hell out of Half in the Bag. Rich specifically has been showing up a lot and now with Jack occasionally showing up it just feels forced and obnoxious. Not to be a Grinch, but I don’t like things that are different and Half in the Bag is always best when it’s just Mike and Jay. I got nothin against Rich and Jack personally, they’re nice men and are great on Best of the Worst, and I want it separate from Half in the Asshole.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    Once there was this boy named Jack who, wouldn’t go and change with the boys in the change room, but when they finally made him, they saw polish sausages tucked under his shirt, he couldn’t quite explain it, they always just been there.

  • TapewormBike

    They usually bring Rich in for the comicbook movies and with this one being “about” videogames, it only makes sense Jack is there as well. Plus, he’s got some sweet moves.

  • Balgor Vern

    Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
    Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think Mike fell in love a bit there: http://i.imgur.com/Cqoa2O4.gif

    Too bad I don’t have the ability to have a heart fade in from where I’m at now.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Rich is a god and on judgment day you will be sorry when he sends you to hell with Adam Scamdler.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Omitted is going to be SOOOOOOOOOOO pissed off.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    so basically what you’re saying is you like it in the asshole

  • TapewormBike

    We can all get behind that.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    the sexual chemistry there is off the charts, now that’s a better love story than Twilight right there folks

  • TapewormBike

    But it is a disappointment for the groupies.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    pretty sure the black empty space is a metaphor for whats inside Adam Sandler’s head where his brain should be

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    …but Waterboy was good right

  • TapewormBike

    There is, but he’s an asshole. Still, looking at Box Office Mojo, the numbers aren’t that great. But again, there is us, the idiot foreigners.

  • TapewormBike

    Speaking of Box Office Mojo, Jurassic World is already number 3 on the list of all time domestic grosses? Chris Pratt IS Indiana Jones now.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    He sure is, only he won’t ever be Harrison Ford, kinda like Shyla Beef, only not quite as irritating, still boring, but nobody is as irritating as the Beef

  • TapewormBike

    Sheila Boob never had a chance.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yes.

  • Mike Magnum

    It seems like a movie that Edgar Wright should have written and directed. I take it that Sandler took the concept from that Futurama Episode. Also Kevin James as the President of the United States. This is an Adam Sandler film.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    But still Paul Blart would make a better President than Bush, hell ANYBODY would, so ya gotta give em that

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its based on a short internet video, that is based on futurama thats based on…..
    its turtles all the way down.

  • TechnoSyndrome

    Why is there just a black void outside the front door to the shop when Mr. Plinket shows up?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    A. No such thing.
    B. That had to make up for the amazingly boring Ant-Man review.
    C. NO SUCH THING!!!!

  • TapewormBike

    Metaphor for something.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    because its LAZY!

  • TapewormBike

    My statements usually come unsalted.

  • TapewormBike

    Has everyone mentioned the Futurama segment already?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Was i the only one other than Rich that hated ‘the wonder years.’ and would gladly kill anyone involved with it….
    Except Professor Danica McKellar.

  • TapewormBike

    I saw like two episodes. As they used to say back in my nostalgic childhood – fuck that shiz.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I know The Scary Door is hilarious…. that reminds me this Pixels movie is just like the skit from Anthology of Interest.
    You watched it! you cant unwatch it!.

  • TapewormBike

    That’s what I was actually talking about. If you can, watch those with commentaries, they’re awesome, especially for those eps.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i think for children in the 80’s the desperate nostalgia for the 60’s was annoying as fuck!
    Hey remember STARWARS!? that was a good movie.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I am made of salt.

  • TapewormBike

    Yeah, but Lucas has never outdone American Graffiti.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Listening to Billy West and Joe Dimaggio make up whole new episodes is gold. other than RLM they are my favorite commentaries.

  • TapewormBike

    Same. David Cohen seems like a cool dude as well. That’s an exec that fucking cares. Probably because he’s an actual writer.

  • atheistconservative

    It’s 2015. President Hope in One Hand and Shit in the Other has been fucking everything up for almost seven years. Update your references, Adam Sandler.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    American Graffiti is one of the best acted beautifully shot well made movies…. that is so boring i cant watch.
    and Godfather. fuck that.
    and ‘The Maltese Falcon’ makes ‘Casablanca’ look like ‘cop out.’
    fuck movies!*
    (*that i dont like)

  • Andrew Thompson.

    “JEB!!!”…. BOOM! *drops mic exits stage right.

  • TapewormBike

    AG is boring as hell (not bad thouh). Speaking of commentaries, I totally forgot, but Copolla does them alone and I listened to them multiple times. So good. even if you don’t like or care about the movie.

  • atheistconservative

    I also was wondering why, when Plinkett stabbed Jack’s stomach, a case of dildos fell out.

  • TapewormBike

    “Jeb” can very easily be translated into Czech (and Polish I believe, Mag?) as “a single fuck”. Now, with Bush added…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    My favorite is “Hearts of Darkness: a Filmmaker’s Journey”
    technically not a cometary but holy fuck thats good human suffering on film.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    is that like a “One night stand” or “Dumbster Fucking”

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    One Show That Sucked – The Wonder Years. As soon as the good song finished, I always changed the channel. Although the brunette was rather cute, the show sucked. Anyway, so much for that shit. Stay tuned for more episodes of ”One Show That Sucked”, because when it comes to TV there’s a whole lot of suck. Now here’s a word from our sponsors…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCrlyX6XbTU

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Hang on wait. the .357 colt had two shots left…. so Rich just wanted to gut Jack (that he thought was Jay) like a fish.
    Frauden?

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    *cum

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    *cum.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    How do you know it was fully loaded? And obviously Rich wanted to gut Jack because Rich wasn’t Jack.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • WrongWithYourFace

    I went and watched the Orson Welles wine commercial. Now I can’t stop laughing.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    and a NEEEEEEEERD!

  • Mike Magnum

    Do we have to talk about politics. Id rather have my arm removed.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    FUCK! i don’t use logistic logic!!!!!!
    you win this time Facey…. this time.

  • atheistconservative

    Left arm or right arm?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    they do say you are what you eat?

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    are you calling me a pussy

  • Andrew Thompson.

    NO!… my cat is really sick of being milked. i just thought you cared! *runs away crying.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you dont need an arm to vote!
    But control of the Army helps.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    BOTH! i vote with my feet.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    and that’s not an empty threat folks, remember that time he had his penis removed as some sort of protest about magnum being cancelled for another season just as the show was getting good too

  • Domo

    So the husband is getting ready for work when I tell him there’s a RLM Pixels review with Mark, Jim, Jack and Rich that we can watch later together.

    “Did they kill Rich and Jack?”
    “You’re gonna have to watch the review to find out.”
    “Yep. They killed Jack and Rich.”
    “I didn’t imply anything with my first comment! You won’t find out what happens until the review!”
    “Definitely killed Jack and Rich.”

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    was it your husband though, cause if not, that would be rather odd

  • Domo

    I loved how in some of takes he looks like he’s gonna fall over, either from sampling too much of the wine beforehand or just dying inside. Poor dude didn’t even get to talk!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    You have trained him well Konichiwa San.

  • Domo

    It would probably be less odd if I had that conversation with my dog, honestly. I could see her being just as much of a smartass as the spouse if she just talked.

  • Domo

    Mr. Plinkett probably used the other bullets he had to make his fleshlight work, since the batteries failed him.

    It makes perfect sense to me!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Maybe you’re not just grooming her often enough. She’s looking a bit grumpy. http://i.imgur.com/12gJnEz.jpg

  • Andrew Thompson.

    OK i just failed movie 101.
    I’m sure its a plastic gun from the way it moved(Meatal guns, because of the weight tended to overshoot the target and have to be corrected.)
    and because of the way its cut and the sparks i would say the bullets are firecrackers and ground up flint.
    but i didn’t click that rich stabbed jack because it would have been too hard to make him stab himself….
    sometimes trying to hard make you stupid.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    I blame that Salvation Army uniform you’re wearing

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    thats not grumpy thats cute, dam dogs are loveable arent they

  • Masa Soh Mengming

    As much as I thought that Rich saying, “At this point of the movie does it matter?” is indicative of him becoming Hilary Clinton and Jack saying, “Thank you for helping out at the shop, we really appreciate it.” being indicative of Jack turning into the Previously Recorded show.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    how bout this one. its when i worked for the Inquisition.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Thats what happens. you legalize gay marriage the next thing people are Loving’ dogs.

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    lol yeah yeah blame jesus

  • I don’t need papers to love MY dog.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Bhazor

    Fuck you! River Fames. Fuck!

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    i hope you at least use a condom….

  • Bourgeois superstition!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    HOW DARE YOU! i have no Culotte!

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    well hey, then we could call you Dr. Domolittle
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvMcKbo0vYc

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i dont think so….

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    we already knew you dont think

  • Earth

    The River “Fames” and the Giant “Ferris Wheel”? Seriously guys?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    who ever in the history of everything ever called it Fames?

  • Earth

    Americans…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    TH. Miket said TH! and every yank ever said TH!
    its TE but they say TH. if your hearing F clean the Jizim out of your ears.
    A Cockney with a bad lisp might say Femsh.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I think that sentence might have needed some punctuation.

  • What’s wrong with your faaaaceeeeee?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    ^for my reply see above.^

  • Earth

    Eye drops.

  • Return of the Living Jaws
  • Return of the Living Jaws

    you nailed it

  • Milton Dammers

    The RLM Hack Frauds worship at the Altar of Sadler, the God of Hack Frauds.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Adam Scamdler is a Fraud but he would need to i gain 100 IQ points just to reach the levle of Sub-Hack.
    Mike and Jay worship dark gods at an altar made out of Rich Evans Spare Ribs.TM

  • Milton Dammers

    Whilst it is true that there are two Halves, it is also true that the number of Bags has also doubled. So we’re still only at a 50% “in the bag” completion rate.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i said “Stick around!” it was hilarious.

  • Milton Dammers

    It could be night time.

  • Milton Dammers

    It looked like Jack was the one giving us some spare ribs.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Jacks Ribs.TM for a short time only at Chunkies Chicken.TM
    “I’ll Swallow that!”.TM

  • Earth

    This is worse than when in Thor 2 they constantly said they were in London and then the first thing Jay says is, “so Thor 2 was set in Paris right?”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    @disqus_xYONdDQI0r:disqus hey if you get bored…
    Could you do a chunkys chicken ad with the tag. “I’ll Swallow That.”

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    but, is there anything worse than Thor 2, hmm possibly Thor 1

  • Milton Dammers

    It was the frozen peas commercial in the UK that was my first introduction to the work of Orson Welles. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol5RpDEzLzY

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Only goes to prove what an amazing actor Rich is. You can’t even tell when he’s playing two roles at once!

  • playdude92 .

    “Uch” the movie, starring Peter Dinklage for some reason (money).

  • Earth

    Meh, there are worse things. Like THINGS for example.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    wait it wasn’t? well all your euro citys look the same. for fucks sake build some skyscrapers so you have a distinctive skyline.

    https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQZUatihl9B0xXmeVeOr4BKg1CL7XDHX4r8lzhGtIpr1-cFOvV76w

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    well true dat, thats a Low Blow though

  • Earth

    Low Blow should be remade. That car deserved better.

  • Earth

    Why build skyscrapers when you can build (…ugh) a “big ferris wheel”.

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d6/London-Eye-2009.JPG

  • Return of the Living Jaws

    come on man, all it needs is a giant hamster, and you would have the tackiest monument in the world, oh wait it already is

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m not really sure what’s wrong with your face “Ferris wheel”. What would you call it?

    And, like Andrew said (I think that’s what he said), ‘F’ and ‘Th’ have nothing to do with each other.

  • Earth

    Well, it is called the London Eye.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    we know the london eye is a ferris wheel. why dose that make TH=F.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s still a big Ferris wheel.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    We have one of them. should we change Melbourne to Felbourne?
    #i still dont get the Fames joke.
    https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSHXIVsv_gGe1B_11HNdcA1S6Q0aXtJGaBewc6RmFa0v1-h29R_

  • Earth

    What joke? I’m not really sure what you’ve been getting at.

  • Earth

    I am aware of that. I’m just saying it’s called the London Eye.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Who do?

  • You Got the Problem

    I enjoyed this review, but please, we’re done with Adam Sandler. Reviewing his garbage is simply unnecessary now, but it was great what you managed to wring out of it. Can I please request more non-mainstream movies from time to time? Not that I dislike your blockbuster focus, you guys are the best at it. I’d just like more variety. Thanks.

  • Earth

    What?

    This is too much to think about when you’ve had drinks.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It is it?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you do.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Sooo you’re Australian or an alcoholic.
    my guess is both.

  • Earth

    Jesus this movie was lazy. I knew it was an Adam Sandler movie, so…you know what to expect, but Jesus, the level of lazitude.

  • Earth

    I thought you were the Australasian.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no. i’m a fictional character.

  • Earth

    And I’m a planet/Italian actor.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i pissed on you today… most of it went on the tree…
    But for what its worth, Sorry.

  • Joe

    I really liked this episode, particularly the ending.

    What does it say about me that it wasn’t until after this was over did I think about how Rich played 2 roles? I mean it wasn’t visually tricky or anything, but I just completely mentally separated Rich as Rich and Rich as Plinkett in my mind, so it just totally made sense that they could be in the same scene together.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i did the same.

  • Earth

    It’s ok. Franco Citti’s used to it. He worked with Pier Paolo Pasolini.

  • Joe

    Somebody has never been to Wisconsin. All our nights look pitch black.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Joe

    Jaychan is his love sempai or something like that.

  • Earth

    Well he did direct Salo, 120 Days of Sodom, so, that’s a point for debate.

    PS: Poor Sully.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    as Sully said to me
    “THATS A WOLF YOU FUCKING RACIST.”

  • Joe

    The Konami code:
    Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Fire Kojima

  • Joe

    He hasn’t eaten since he saw mustard 3 months ago.

  • Earth

    Oh, I was wondering why Sully looked so off in that picture.

    I should go check my privilege.

  • Bhazor

    That’s Marvel thinkin’

  • Bonzadoylavich, you sunnovabitch.
    http://i.imgur.com/VkLdslN.gif

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I’m really excited for the Trailer for the new BBC doco “Sully: A Foxes Tail.”

    https://youtu.be/dCuUnTJgD9M

  • Joe

    Jay is slowly becoming more detached from reality every time he has to sit through a reference to Star Trek.

    Which reminds me of the episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation called “The Next Phase” where Geordi and Ensign Ro find themselves detached from reality after a transporter malfunction.

  • tOmy`

    I am gonna comment on this clusterfuck once I feel like I my head is not a balloon filled with 8 kinds of liquor.

    Also my stomach has something to say about the my late night culinary experiments, I remember a lot of marmalade. But it’s super cool to see so much content these days.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    just say a crazy man in a Nazi uniform made you do it.

  • Joe

    All of this is part of Phase 3 of the RLM-verse. Expected rollout: 2021

  • Racist badgers are the scum of the Earth. No offence to you, @Earth_95:disqus.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    YOU FUCKING JINX!!! now it will be months before we get anything!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    most badgers are cunts.

  • Joe

    Don’t you get it? This show isn’t about movie reviews, it’s a documentary about two movie enthusiasts slowly losing their souls.

  • Joe

    I think it was a Q-bert joke.

  • Joe

    Madison hasn’t been happy for a long time.

  • Some foxes are too. No offence @Sully:disqus https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72zLHGCOm-0

  • Earth

    They usually do.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I know its a Q_boringgamert joke.
    but does mike hate fuck or flat out rape Q-suckfacebert?

  • instant relief

    So, why exactly did hot dogs with ketchup come out of Jack’s belly? Did Space Cop put them there in case he needed fresh hot dogs in the past, where hot dogs haven’t been invented yet?

  • That’s what happened when they released one episode of HitB and two BOTW in the span of a week or something.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Dont tell you know who, but i literally lost count of the foxes i’ve killed.

  • instant relief

    I wholeheartedly agree. Discussing Adam Sandler is like beating on a dead horse and I feel that the guys are better than that.

  • Earth

    To be fair, they did admit that at the end. I guess Pixels was more of a point of interest because it wasn’t a scam movie like Jack and Jill.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i think i went crazy and got banned.
    All Comments and no Content make Andrew… something something.

  • Earth

    Thinking of bans, Jaws disappeared again.

  • tOmy`

    He is a self-regulating being tho.

  • tOmy`

    We all been young at some point of our lives, drank too much and ate marmalade straight from the ja-

    Oh.

  • Earth

    I dunno. I was about to reply to him then I got a message saying a moderator had removed it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Quote of the Day:
    ‘Gooooooooooooooooo fuck yourself.’
    – Sid, ‘Gorilla Interrupted’

    Back when RLM didn’t have a bunch of assholes with nothing better to do quoting for them.

  • instant relief

    That’s gotta be a hoax.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I think its more like when you get in a street fight and you punch some guy…
    He goes down hard and hits his head on the cement and you start kicking him….
    But he is not moving, you hesitate. blood flows from his shattered head and finally you start thinking…
    “What have i become?”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    As if JURASIC WORLD wasn’t?

    As if that plot couldn’t be ripped to shreds on the basis of logic alone. Or Avengers 2. Or any modern blockbuster.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I love talking with jaws hesheitshit is funny.
    but the cuntprickarsehole deletes hisherits own shit.
    and we get left with our comments dangling in the wind. FUCK THAT CUNTPRICK|ARSEHOLE!

  • This still calls for a: “Smile, you son of a bitch!”
    http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/1166169/jaws-bites-the-bullet-o.gif

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Jaws did it. Mod Deleted comments disappear. and banned people become ghosts(guests)

  • Sully

    This is bullshit. A fox would never befriend a tennis rat.

  • Earth

    Ah. It’s good to hear from someone with experience.

    😉

  • instant relief

    I hope you drown in a swimming pool of Foster’s.

  • TapewormBike

    This is fucking amazing.

  • Sully

    What’s so cunty about that?

  • instant relief
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Calm yo tits.

  • Sully
  • TapewormBike

    They’re too wild, no use.

  • Sully

    *off

  • Sully

    I’ll see what I can do.

  • Keeping that chicken away from his friend. I mean, what a cunt.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Nevermind message board is disabled. .

  • Andrew Thompson.

    NEVER! TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITS!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Nicely said. Very polite. I would like more variety, too.

    Unfortunately, at this time they are unable to service our request. It’s all superheroes and sci-fi blockbusters from now on until Tuesday.

  • instant relief

    I saw that coming from a mile away.
    And it still hit my eye.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    *a dead horny

  • I’ll spill some salt over my left shoulder and spit on the link before clicking for good luck.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    0153

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Bonzadoylavich, you sunnovabitch.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i was never here and you didnt see anything.

  • Sully

    T’was inevitable. It’s what happens when you dress alike in public, especially in Meeleewahkay.

  • TapewormBike

    I agree, but it just seems like a new low and Jack and Jill is one of their best reviews, so I am not surprised they wanted to review it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Just be glad they didn’t refer to it as The London Stink-Eye.

    Amirite?

    But, I get it. It would be just as weird if they referred to The Empire State as Pointy Building.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    are you from Boston?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    if a wheel is London’s eye, the Empire State building is New York’s Dick.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    So predictable.
    Amirite, Polar Otter?

  • Sully

    It was the only humane thing to do.

  • Sully

    No one outside of London calls it that.

  • Sully

    I got my scout ‘Marksman’ badge when I was 6. It’s right next to be ‘Best Asshole’ badge on my uniform.

  • instant relief

    Who dat ho?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    A cometary killed the dinosaurs.
    #TypoSlammin’

  • I wanted to make a joke about double dildos but couldn’t be bothered.

  • Sully

    How many “Review Pixel” requests showed up in the comments section?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Now back to 911….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    12

  • Sully

    Chickens spend all day together in their little concentration camps pens. They need a little time apart.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    If requests worked we would have 200 Plinkett reviews a day.

  • tOmy`

    Important question: Photos behind the gang.

    One has a baby on it and it’s titled “Mike”. Is this Mike?
    And who the fuck is “Tim”?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Fun Fact: His name isn’t even Jeb. That’s his frat nickname or something. Those are his initials. His name is John Ellis Bush, so he goes by “Jeb”, or James Ellis Bush Bush. Or, as I like to refer to him, Yebboosh.

    This has been a Fun Fact You Needed To Know™

  • Most chickens spend their day in peoples’ mouths. http://i.imgur.com/r4PoJMB.jpg

  • Andrew Thompson.

    And Grammer Nazi’s killed the Jewasaurs.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Shoot me. Shoot me in the head.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Half in? Nope. My behind is All Out.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    #TeamJack

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Where do you keep your polish sausages?

  • Sully

    We don’t talk about Tim. Not… not anymore.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The same could be said about [redacted] naked.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    He died on the way back to her home planet.

  • Sully
  • Sully

    Plinkett reviews take time and effort. We’re talking about hack frauds here, Andrew. Don’t be stupid.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    As pointed out by someone, it IS Wisconsin. That place is a void.

  • Sully
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Don’t forget Future Mike and Future Jay.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Bonzadoylavich, you sunnovabitch.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Cyborg asshole? I had mine installed yesterday!

  • I wouldn’t want to be in your pants when judgement day comes.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Since this afternoon?

  • Sully

    Don’t tell yourself, but I’ve lost count of all the humans I’ve chewed a hole into, burrowed through, and crawled out the other side.

  • tOmy`

    Wouldn’t it be cool if they beat Pacman by that “glitch” in the original version, where the ghosts stop chasing you? That would give it at least some angle regarding the main heroes being geek / pr0s. You know, in general, just exploiting things that only “real” gamers know,

  • Sully

    The Turd-800 or Turd-1000 model?
    The Turd-1000 just seems messy.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I know! As if my colon didn’t rebel enough as it is! I’m already starting to regret this decision.

  • Lloyd Waldo

    “I didn’t progress.” – Adam Sandler

  • TapewormBike

    Not by me though. I was enjoying the new Plinkett review.

  • Amontillado

    Or the alternative Universe Mike and Jay that liked Grownups. You could tell it was an alternative universe by Mike’s light blue shirt instead of dark blue.

  • Amontillado

    With all the different costumes, PLUS THEIR ACCESSORIES!, I think it is high time we see some RLM action figures.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Racist!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That’s right. New York’s Giant, Engorged, Erect Dick.
    #’Merica!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats Fair. humans are a far worse invasive species.
    thats why i’m planing to get China, India Pakistan and Russia to Nuke each other off the face off the earth…
    #Sorry about your face Earth.

  • tOmy`

    I never played Centipede, but it seems like it needs to bounce off those floating thingies. So what about a segment when they use these floating thingies and try to angle the Centipede to some incinerator or back to space or whatever…

    Could have made for a neat action scene… you know, they could have strapped those thingies on cars and drive like crazy to keep up with the Centipede, trying to bounce it off to certain directions… but hey, maybe that happened in the movie, I don’t know.

    I guess what I am saying is that Pixels may have fucked something up.

  • Or if they got to the 256th level.

  • Amontillado

    #TeamPreRec

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i love my Turd-1000.TM its like shiting liquid metal.

  • Maybe he’ll look like his old self after that.

  • Domo

    Yep. So many action figure options!

    http://i.imgur.com/6yhd2YE.jpg

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • So kawaii. ^_^

  • Amontillado

    “Now where’s my Nightcourt, damnit?”

    Mucho gracias for the translation, don’t speak Putinese myself, so don’t know what the hell Plinkett was saying.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Mike told the Dutch? guys that he watches a movie once to refresh his memory and records the voice track in a day or two.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Propulsive diarrhea is no laughing matter. Laughing one’s ass off is no laughing matter, either. That’s why…You may need a Cyborg Asshole. Check with your physician.

    cyborg assholes may cause vomiting, rusting, queefing, bloody stool, headache, sciatica, and rectal fissures, see your doctor if you experience mood swings, depression, increased heart rate, or an erection lasting more than four hours, cyborg assholes are not for very young children, teens, middle aged people, or the elderly
    Pfizer™

  • Amontillado

    Mike and Jay edited this episode, I smell some hack fraudery to mess with #TeamPrecRec

  • Amontillado

    It’s…it’s so beautiful *sniff*

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’m just going on maggit’s translation.

  • “Set phasers to SCHLOCK!” – Gorilla Interrupted tagline. Also, a Star Trek reference.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I don’t think we’re supposed to talk about “Tim.”

  • Amontillado

    Now does the Plinkett toy come with detachable cane and moveable arms for cane whacking motion?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    (snicker) He said “whacking motion.”

  • tOmy`

    “Why should people be excited about new Eagles of Death Metal album?”
    “Because it’s gonna stop global warming.”

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Interesting. It said your previous broken post was deleted by a moderator.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes! I’m in just the right age group!

    Also,

    *Spfinzter™

  • Is Josh Homme going to be on drums? Otherwise I don’t care all that much. They’re fun but sound very samey.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i did it i was full of computer AIDSbola. i found a clean link.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, definitely. I think they wouldn’t record without Homme.

  • Amontillado

    If it’s clean, doesn’t seem to be in the spirit of the Plinkett. We need a down and dirty link.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I’m not your mum. If you want computer AIDSbola, go to google type “Get Rich QUICK!!!’ click on the first link and agree to everything.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “Global warming isn’t real. It was cold as an eskimo’s vagoogoo last January.”
    “Man, I didn’t know you were a right-wing nutter.”
    “What are you talking about?’
    “Well, A., they’re innuits. And, second, global warming was real, but it’s been fixed.”
    “Into it? God, you’re a Libtard. Nobody’s into global warming. The science isn’t all in.”
    “Did you hear what I said. The point is moot. Global warming has been fixed.”
    “Fixed? Fixed how? How can you fix something that isn’t real?”
    “Eagles of Death Metal. New album.”
    “Eh. I like the country music.”
    “Republican prick!”

    END SCENE

  • Amontillado

    Done….. oh my GAAAAAAAAAAWD!!!!!!!

  • tOmy`

    There should have been a “I don’t listen to metal” line in there somewhere. Heard it way too many times in regard with EoDM.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What if I want to get Jay quick?

  • Amontillado

    Love all the, ‘bird,’ pictures

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I like them when the goo is just starting to come out.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    WOW… now i feel bad. i didnt think he would do it….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Ask Omitted…. he has ‘Plans’….

  • Amontillado

    Oh yeah, you do that business pizza rolls

  • Amontillado

    Well after my cat starting messin with ma medicine, I don’t think so good nowadays

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Holy Shit! i thought i was an insane alcoholic…. but he is always two moves ahead!

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s wonderful that he cares so much about starving African children.

  • Tim Hendrix

    this was GREAT! now next vid please you hacks…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    We have a charity that helps children move to western countries….. well bits of them.
    lets just say their hearts will live on……

  • Andrew Thompson.

    it will be October, the next release is “Space Cop” exclusively on VHS.

  • Amontillado

    Looks like there’s a pussy that needs a stroke. It cannot continue living knowing about last summer!

  • Amontillado

    *Betamax

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    Dont be silly! they’re not Hipsters.

  • Amontillado

    Looks like there’s a pussy about to get wrecked.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Sully

    Then how long for the clips and editing?

  • Sully

    Just release a plague and let over-population do the rest.

  • Sully

    Not new, Tape. We’ve spoken about this.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    But, but its the only way to be sure….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    12 years.

  • TapewormBike

    Look, let me have this.

  • Sully

    Not true anymore. They’re doing wonderful things with Tularemia in Colorado these days.

  • Sully

    Fine. FINE!! But just this once, and as long as you keep the YouTubers on YouTube.

  • Sully
  • Andrew Thompson.

    You should see the gene sequencing printers….
    “lets splice the plague with that ebola thingie'”
    “yes doctor.” *randomly slaps keyboard.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Sully, Maggit posted that an hour ago…..

  • TheManHole

    Nothing like coming to work on a Tuesday and see your favorite hack frauds have posted another video. It’s going to be great.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Shut up and fix my AOL!!!!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    seriously. you should see the calicivirus. it traveled 500 kms from the island it was being tested on and we still dont know how…
    sure killed a fuck load of rabbits though, 10 million in 8 days.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Cars! Fast cars! It’s all you think about except for all the other stuff you think about!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I’m amazed by how shit the 12 Monkeys TV show is… how could something be worse than i imagined?
    I’m filled with hate pizza rolls and Qui Gone GIN!.TM!

  • TheManHole

    I only fix dial-up get with the times duuuude.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Stop using words you dont understand!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The guys didn’t have to go see PIXELS, if all they wanted to do was test their squibs. They could’ve killed Jack and Rich during the ANT-MAN part. Gotta really give them much love for their dedication to us, and their craft.

  • Palpatine

    But they just gave us one of the best HitB’s in a while.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Jack was to much of a pussy to get squibed up.
    #Team Rich is God.

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, was it pussy of him to have all those hot dogs spill out of his stomach?

    #TeamJack

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Jack had his sausage pulled out from inside his intestines! What does Jack have to do to get some love around this webzone!?!!
    #TeamJack

  • instant relief

    You were ejaculating at age 6?

  • Palpatine

    I said the same thing you fu-

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yay! Palpy’s with #TeamJack!

    #Ain’tNoStoppingUsNowIsNotJustALousyStarshipSongAnymore
    #JackLife
    #IsThatASausageInYourPocket?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Palpy you never had to do Squibs but they FUCKING HURT!

  • Palpatine

    I really don’t get the hate for Jack.

  • Palpatine

    You’re speaking from experience?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It’s only mock-hate, I think, which is almost the same thing as tough love.

  • Palpatine

    People complain about Jack all the time on the RLM Reddit.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    We’ve already established Reddit is where the butt-hurt go to oil their cyborg assholes. Nobody cares about Reddit.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Manchu?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yes. i have been blown up, shot, had guns explode, pyros explode, squibs and Startrekstarwars Blasterphaser “Sparks.” they are the worst. the fucking things always send a random spark down your top.

  • Palpatine

    Reddit, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. You must be cautious.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Not even an A for effort?

  • Palpatine

    How are you still alive?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    racist?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Alcohol.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’ll allow it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *ASL

  • instant relief
  • WrongWithYourFace

    Get gud.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    mostly because the things i do are designed to look worse than they are…
    sometimes just luck.

    https://plus.google.com/u/0/114089192088360284355/posts/Ayyh8Y4Gib3?pid=6113765873337460258&oid=114089192088360284355

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats fair.

  • Palpatine

    The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    *ALS

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s not pedo if you have your parents’ permission. Wait–

  • TheManHole

    *SNL

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I’ll allow that.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    *NFL

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    You just don’t understand the genius of Adam Sandler. He knew he could never beat Star Wars: The Force Awakens, so he wrote the script for Pixels in one draft on a legal pad and rushed it into production. Peter Dinklage was the key to everything because he was a shorter man than Sandler had ever worked with before. And while Sandler may have gone too far in a few places, every frame was so dense, there were so many pixels going on. His next film is gonna be great.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Pfft… that was already eradicated when everyone was pouring ice cubes on themselves.

  • Palpatine

    Are you saying Sandler is the next George Lucas?

  • instant relief

    Ja?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    After all, he wasn’t gonna top TITANIC. No one can.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Yep, and Kony’s in prison and the 200 girls kidnapped by Boko Haram are home safe. #i love #tavisim.

  • RLMkeepitup

    probably left over from filming space cop ®

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Hey! If science ain’t gonna cure disease, maybe self-absorbed douchebags will!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Achtung soldaten! Nien totens der auslanders.

  • instant relief

    I will literally leave now. Have fun!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Hope they saved some for the next Best of the Worst destruction sequence.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I need bacon… its medicinal.

  • Sully

    He’d have to achieve moderate success first. Please, god, no.

  • instant relief

    I will forward that message to my troops, although I’m not entirely sure what they’ll make of it.

  • Sully

    Squibs? Next thing you’re gonna tell me is that Jack wasn’t actually gutted.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Movie Magic!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    A personal fortune of $300 million isn’t even moderate any more?

    #FyuckTheOne%

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I studied german for a grand total of 2 years.. well 2 hour twice a week for 24 weeks a year for 2 years.
    thats 96 hours. most of which i spent drawing swastikas on textbooks and trying to look up girls skirts.

  • Palpatine

    He has.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    still a billion short.

  • Palpatine

    He is getting Jorge’s neck.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    0x0=0 Palpy. or to paraphrase a classic movie “there is no neck.”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That ending was orgasmic.

  • Thanatos2k

    No, those movies are far better than this shitty movie.

  • instant relief

    Sounds exactly like my life in the Hitler Jugend.

  • Thanatos2k

    Is that what you use polish sausages for? I never knew.

  • TheManHole

    All hail Mark and Jim are new hack fraud overlords!

  • You guys really need to review Joe Dirt 2. Happy Madison Productions has finally reached the bottom. Let the darkness wash over you.

  • Sully
  • tOmy`

    After all that Pre-Rec, this is both what we wanted and deserved.

  • Sully

    Replace “achieve” with “earn.”

  • Sully

    He is earning that.

  • Sully

    finally reached managed to maintain…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Now there is lots of reasons to hate the walking dead…. but after two eps of the 12 Monkeys TV series i’m willing to forgive all.
    the post apocalypse stuff is all “10 guys firing blanks in an empty warehouse” and the modern day stuff is just boring.
    dont waste your time.

  • Percy Gryce

    SPOILERS!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yup it was pure emotional catharsis.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    after the boring Ant-Man review you mean. The Pre-Rec got more recommendations than what i think was the worst HitB EVER!.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Mike already related Sandler to Orson Welles. And he related the Star Wars Prequels to Citizen Kane. So, I think what I’m saying is, Sandler is Rosebud. To quote Jay, “I know this changes everything.”

  • Palpatine

    Citizen Sandler.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    slowly slumping down into a death spiral.
    “Adam Scamdler and friends: Suicide Pact.” the sad documentary hopefully coming soon.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Oh, you’re just parsing nips.
    #Salad

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Mind. Blown.

  • Percy Gryce

    Danica McKellar has an Erdős–Bacon number of 6, one of the lowest recorded.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Please, we all know the only reason you looked up a girls skirt was to check for Penises.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Oh, God. Now, I’m imagining Adam Sandler in a Citizen Kane remake. This is why you’re the master of evil, Palpy.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Recommendations? What are you talking about, you doofus?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Those crazy Nazis!
    [Laugh track]

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Thats it Gin melt those Synapses… soon i will love comic book movies and i will be perfect.

  • Palpatine

    Whatever, that film’s overrated anyway.

    #TheGodfatherIsTheGreatestFilmOfAllTime

  • Percy Gryce

    ½ x ½ = ¼

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That bottle is covering the penis, innit?

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Sully

    I didn’t think it was boring. Then again, I agreed with the review.

  • Percy Gryce

    That scene didn’t even make the deleted-scenes extras for Feeding Frenzy.

  • Percy Gryce

    Imagine yoose is from Brooklyn:

    “TEMZ the breaks!”

  • Sully

    Don’t be silly. You still won’t be a fox.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The Cosby rape jokes were uninspired. Did it get better after that?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    All Mike and Jay said was Meh its good, we kinda liked it.
    there was no really insightful commentary and after their last video about how much damage these kind of movies are doing to art and originality it felt disingenuous.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooope.

  • Palpatine

    Your ADD prevented you from paying attention.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I could be, if i just could give a fuck about comics…
    if i could do that, i could do anything.

  • instant relief

    Ja, don’t judge! And don’t let the Führer now. He might get all jelly.

  • Sully

    Your avatar next to the word “orgasmic” scares me.

  • Palpatine

    He’s jelly of me.

  • Palpatine

    So is Plinkett’s house still on the mountain, or is he getting a new one? If so, are they going to build a new Plinkett house set?

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    Palpy watching Mike and Jay ‘like’ a movie in an amicable manner with no real jokes is not entertaining.
    thats called the Nostalgia Critic.

  • Palpatine

    I agree. It’s more fun to watch when they hate on a movie.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Der Diqust Reichenbutton? the fucking heart shaped recommend thing.

  • Toffoli_73

    What will the next great trend in movies be after the “Cinematic Universes” of Marvel/DC/Star Wars and the like have run out of steam? (Which could be argued is happening already.) Will Adam Sandler movies be the only thing left when it’s all said and done? Will Pixels 4 be crushing souls in 2025? Will we be at the point where Pixels 4 is considered a blessing and the one bright spot in our miserable, post-cinepocalypse lives?

  • Palpatine

    Video game movies are going to make a comeback.

  • Toffoli_73

    Thanks Sheev.

  • TheManHole

    They fixed German Tax loop holes so I doubt it.

  • tOmy`

    Hitman coming soon, Warcraft movie announced, Deus Ex rights sold to some film making company…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    it is we are working on it.
    here is a tease poster made by the Talented Mr Sully.

    https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-sX1S5vRHvn4/VbeezRKwLAI/AAAAAAAABLU/gi1mfk5dbIc/w425-h540-no/dx2sc4w.jpg

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Priest: “Adam Richard Sandler, do you renounce schlock and all your works?”
    Sandler: “I do renounce them.”
    Cut to: scene from the next Happy Madison Productions film.

    Adam Sandler in The Schlockfather.

  • Palpatine

    That should be the poster for the SOS remake.

  • Palpatine

    It’s gonna be great.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I’ll allow it if we get a Bioshock movie written by Ken Levine.

  • Palpatine

    These aren’t going to be made by hack fraud German filmmakers.

  • Earth

    And no one outside of North America participates in the World Series, but American’s ain’t gonna stop calling it that.

    At least London “Eye” makes a little sense.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Talk to sully.
    i’m working on ‘Mary: a Virgin’s Tale.” its an after school special.

  • TheManHole

    Well in the we had a bunch of Muscle headed action stars in the 80’s. Then we got a bunch of remakes of anything you might remember in the 90’s early 2000’s. Now we have comic book movies. So my guess for the future nothing but talking farm animal movies.

  • Sully

    I’ve seen the weird Australian shit you call entertainment. Don’t pretend like you’re above it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What does it even do?

  • Palpatine

    The guy who made Tales From Genesis Space?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I dont know i dont speak german.

  • Toffoli_73

    So more George Miller Babes?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Exactly.

  • Palpatine

    Babe: Furry Road.

  • Sully

    That’s called lying, Maybelline, and it’s hurtful.

  • TheManHole

    Can they even be called video game movies at that point?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    How is this my fault!?…. oh, wait…. all the things i did and said and posted….

  • Toffoli_73

    “That’ll do…. motherfucker.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I broke two ribs rolling off an abandoned train platform. movie magic can suck my dick!

  • Toffoli_73

    Movies are just extended cut scenes right?

  • tOmy`

    Rapping goblins to a sound of wailing little girls and chainsaws.

    Yea, I can see myself screaming: Sold!

  • tOmy`

    Press “x” to pay for tickets.

  • instant relief

    Damn, how did this private party footage leak? The Gestapo must’ve royally fucked up!

  • tOmy`
  • instant relief

    You’re only the Führer OF SPAAAAAACE, tho, and you don’t have death camps.

  • Toffoli_73

    Exactly what came to mind. Hasn’t aged a bit.

  • tOmy`

    Still looks very dense, there are so many travesties going on in each frame.

  • Percy Gryce

    My brain is synching with Stoklasa’s again:

    http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-ant-man/#comment-2157703473

  • TheManHole

    Seen more realistic sock puppet shows.

  • Toffoli_73

    Whats next? An entirely 1st person movie where you, as an audience member, get to control the actions on screen to create your own interactive experience? Never gonna happen.

  • tOmy`

    “In this wasteland [movie set in Baltimore] I am a pig running both from the farmers and the hogs.”

  • Sully

    ‘xactly. Now kiss thy ring.

    http://i.imgur.com/16tSmrY.jpg

  • TheManHole

    Interesting fact if you Google (Hack frauds) RLM is the first thing to come up.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he has Camps they are mention in the Phantom Menace.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    your not the pope of me!

  • Sully

    It’s not our fault the rest of the world sucks at baseball. (don’t pay attention to all of the asian and hispanic players)

  • Like Icare

    I hope you’re working on it after HIGH school and in locations with lower age of consent.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Oceania#Federal_laws_.28legislation_that_applies_to_all_Australian_people.29

  • Sully
  • TheManHole

    Like taking candy from a baby…oh wait.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Rich is the only pope of me, your Foxxyness.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you’re not the pope of consent!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Too soon! whats wrong with you!?

  • Like Icare

    I thought Subway was his Rosebud?

    BTW, this review could have used paying more attention to the product placements in this particular Adam Sandler production.

  • tOmy`

    “The new Vacation Movie fails to make a case for its own existence”

    Maybe it is just a meta commentary of Hollywood. Ba-dum-tstststststststststs-I’ll-cue-you-in-tststststs

  • TheManHole

    Hey now if it’s good enough for the pope.

  • Alex Lee

    “Adam Sandler looks like a sad clown.”

    Mike Stolkasa

    http://iv1.lisimg.com/image/6349115/600full-the-comedian.jpg

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Casaboring, Citzen Boring and The GodFUCKINGDAMNBORINGfather. are all shite.

  • tOmy`

    Woah, you did not make that shit up.

    Gooooood, gooooooooooooooooood.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    *… Choke it with a rope.
    that rhymes so is true.

  • Alex Lee

    Due to the international market, I think we’ll see a resurgence in Roland Emmerich-esque disaster (movies). Jurassic World was just the prelude to this trend.

    Or maybe it’ll be found footage rom coms. I’d imagine studios might be a little shy after the fall of Marvel.

  • Alex Lee

    The review paralleled the movie.

  • Sully

    Blaxploitation films…

    http://s7.tinypic.com/rlm802.jpg

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Nighty Nacht Humanitas.
    beware ille tenebrae.

  • Like Icare

    That man was a master of career self-destruction.

  • Sully

    Also includes “videos” and “images.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    exactly! better than Transformers is the new acceptable.

  • Like Icare

    As a kid in the ’80s… I kinda liked it.
    But it did feel a bit… crying bitter tears for the past and the days of youth.

    Danica on the other hand was always way too obviously WAY too hot for any of the characters in the show.

  • TheManHole

    I don’t see the point every time we rebuild it the damn rebels come blow it up.

  • Like Icare

    Or, as I like to refer to him, Yebboosh.

    That’s mighty close to calling him “Fucking” in my language.
    The more you know…

  • Sully

    You’ve downgraded Rich to Pope? Enjoy hell, motherfucker.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I have always found, somewhat to my dismay, that it is much easier to talk about things I don’t like than things I like. You gotta use flowery vocabulary and multiple syllable adjectives and make clear, concise, thoughtful points, and you tend to lose your audience, when you are talking about the value of something. Plus, it makes you sound like a pussy some times. When you’re talking about something you don’t like, you just got pepper it with some, “dick”s, “crap”s, “fuck”s, and “stupid”s.

  • Like Icare
  • Sully

    That would require it to be smart, tOmy’. Don’t it give it power.

  • TheManHole

    Just read the IMDb page for this movie and found this gem “Before Ed Helms was cast a few people were suggested, among them were Jason Sudeikis, Adam Sandler and Michael Rosenbaum.”

  • Sully

    So you’re saying it could’ve been worse.

  • Sully
  • Like Icare

    It’s closer to zoophilia joke.

  • Like Icare

    Swimming in shit and Christina Applegate rubbing shit all over her face.
    Coprophilia. Apparently very popular among the S&M crowd in Finland.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprophilia

  • Like Icare

    His dong is his penis.

    No… wait…

  • Like Icare

    Ooooooh! A call out to a classic Bond film as a riff on the current Blond franchise.

  • Popular YA fiction that predates Harry Potter? Maybe even a Narnia reboot. A Narnia that is gritty and real. Always winter, never Christmas.

  • Earth

    In Britain we call it softball. And typically (I don’t wanna trigger anyone here but whatever) it’s generally considered a girl’s sport.

  • Sully
  • Earth

    There you go Adam Sandler. You got the honour of having the sad piano music play “within” the review of your movie, just to highlight how miserable the whole situation is.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj4wltQDYwI

  • Like Icare

    Pixels – the movie – the video game.

    http://i.imgur.com/p8FI4xt.jpg

    Look at that screenshot!
    I wonder if the graphics are really THAT good or is it again another case of bait and switch.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    But who did they consider for the part of Dude Who Plays Thor’s Fake Dong?

  • Earth

    To Mark and Jim,

    Continuity error at 29:28 you FUCKING HACK FRAUDS!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The Godzillaplex corporations are already investing heavily in Jiggly Theater Seats. So, Destruction Porn, for the win.

    After that, it’s Smell-O-Vision. Immediately followed by the Apocalypse.

  • ultraterrestrial

    Sandler should be forced to have that have music playing wherever he goes. On the radio, over public address systems, emitting from people’s fillings, etc….

  • Like Icare

    Not the pope. The Nope. I’m the Nope of many things.

    It’s really quite dope. But at times it feels like a slippery slope of pissing up a rope.

    But I cope. I hope.

  • Like Icare

    ‘Tis the season of rhyme is reason…

  • TapewormBike

    Or Jiggly Porn Seats.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Hopefully you soap fully, when you take a bath.
    ‘Cause if you don’t,
    Clean you won’t,
    And you’ll get a rath upon your ath.

  • Like Icare

    There is more Dirt under that rock bottom. Heyoooo!

  • instant relief

    Yeah, but they only “process” people there. What does that even mean? Do they collect people’s personal data and send them back home?

  • instant relief

    Ja! Ja!

  • instant relief

    What?
    Whatever.
    Good night, Hunt Her Ass Thompson.

  • Sully

    Me, obviously, but I have a “No Nudity” clause in my contract.

  • vspngs

    Voxels. This movie should have been called Voxels.

    UPD: This movie should have been called Shit on a stick

  • instant relief

    Nerd credibility +1

  • ultraterrestrial

    Sad truth is: Pixels will take a bath domestically, recoup internationally, make shitloads in rentals/streaming/TV sales and as a consequence still not touch Sandler. Long gone are the days of bad films ending careers or a panning from the critics counting for anything. It’s just product and product always makes money – that’s the new game and we’re stuck with it. So any optimism about the studios (esp’ Marvel, DC, whatever) failing anytime soon is misplaced. Welcome to globalised, corporate Hollywood—a money-printing factory where the producers couldn’t give a single flying fuck about the medium.

  • instant relief

    There are still lots of creative people out there that are interested in quality movie making. Don’t give up hope, mate, just avoid the mainstream. 😉

  • Sully

    The only thing under that rock is a molten core, which is where Sandler’s “legacy” belongs.

  • ultraterrestrial

    I’m going to have to do exactly that, my friend. Hollywood is dead so it’s time to look elsewhere for well made cinema.

  • instant relief

    Independent and foreign cinema is where its at.

  • vspngs

    Why, thank you kind sir. You are a gentelman and a scholar.

  • ultraterrestrial

    Sad thing is I used to love big-budget summer genre films. I’m a
    lit/film grad who worked under contract for Warner between 1997-2001 – so as much as I love intelligent indie movies there’s always been a special place in my heart for well-made schlock. Now the schlock is just predictable CGI nonsense and it’s only well-made if you value the…erm…pixels. I just hope affordable digital cameras/editing equipment can bring more people like Gareth Edwards, and films like Monsters, to a mainstream audience.

  • I really shouldn’t be putting any thought into this movie, but when the conversation turned to establishing Dinklage was a cheater, I realized there was a far more clever and realistic way of getting that info across. Just show him being absolutely terrible when fighting the aliens, and being frustrated he can’t rely on a cheat code to cheese his way through them. Eventually, he has to fess up he didn’t really win the Donkey Kong tournament, and Sandler gets his morale placebo.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Maybe. But these people will either retire out of the industry because the product distresses them or they will be replaced by all the careerist youngsters who covet their jobs and who have been trained to disregard even their own tastes. There has been an example of this happening in your lifetime: Music, both the creation and the marketing, thereof.
    Pop Culture history does not arc toward creativity as much as it arcs toward profit. The big fish (corporate interests) eat the little fish (artists), while the fishermen all sit on their asses in their boats and decide, “Well, we liked tuna, but we’ll settle for perch, ’cause perch is fun.”
    Sure, there will always be puddles to dip your toes in, but the mainstream is the only stream that flows.

  • vspngs

    You’are trying to fix A Ssandler movie. Just let it it die and be buried. Not exactly in that order.

    P.S.: That fix is pretty good. I wouldn’t watch Pixels anyway though

  • Uncle Dan

    It’s a pretty standard trope for this kind of movie, such that if what you’re going for is 80s nostalgia it’s surprising that they didn’t follow the formula.

  • TheManHole

    If they where going for 80’s nostalgia then we should have gotten a montage of Scamler and friends retraining to take on the alines.

  • Sully

    That would require a story… and forethought… and a writer… and a story… and forethought… and a writer… and… and… a story.

  • Sully
  • ultraterrestrial

    Jesus, Sully…you may as well have asked for someone with an expertise in applying leeches. That’s old tech. Don’t you read the trades, mate?

  • Sully

    Rare as they may be, there are still people that give a shit about their jobs in the industry, that care about the end product (i.e. legacy). Though again, it’s rare.

  • tOmy`

    I want a Sixth Sense sequel in which we realize that in fact we are the ones seeing dead people and, as a clever twist, that’s why we didn’t see the main character for the whole movie, only hear him talk, because he is….

    dun-dun-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun

    ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE.

    Its working title is gonna be: “The Seventh Sense: We Shit You Not”

  • tOmy`

    This post made me need to pee.

  • ultraterrestrial

    That is rare. “Thy faith shall be my lamp”, etc.

  • Sully

    I want to see a sequel called The Fifth Sense: Taste for Justice, where Haley Joel Osment’s character eats all day as he works as an Assistant DA, trying to prosecute criminals in posthumous trials.

    http://www.etonline.com/media/photo/2014/09/24102083/640_haley_joel_osment_wenn2.jpg

  • TheManHole

    Put this squeal right up there with E.T, Schindler’s List, Fight club, and Titanic.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Thing is, there will always be one or two examples like that, which stand out against the flood. Maybe, though, that’s how they stand out.

    I maybe not making a clear point. Is Special Move X really a special movie, or is it just an old lady standing on the roof of her house while her farm washes away?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Haley Joel Osment broke up with his gym. They weren’t working out.

  • Sully
  • TheManHole

    Well that got dark fast.

  • tOmy`

    E.Two?

  • instant relief

    I occassionally enjoy mainstream cinema. I think there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s like eating at a burger joint every now and again. You know it’s bad, but you can still enjoy it for what it is. Obviously you’re right, with unbearable noise fests like Transformers raking in all the cash, even blockbusters are getting harder to enjoy now.

  • TheManHole

    I thought Spielberg made that already, they called it Indiana Johns and the policy of no refunds.

  • tOmy`

    That was a distant cousin, perhaps.

  • Sully

    This just in: Tom Cruise has agreed to come back for Top Gun 2, but on one condition… They don’t use CGI jets in the movie. He wants practical aircraft only, otherwise he’s off the project.
    It’s time to see how valuable Tom Cruise is as a brand. If he still has the Industry pull he used to. It’ll be interesting.

  • tOmy`

    Redlettermedium?

  • instant relief

    You’re welcome, young padawan. May you successfully continue on your path to enlightenment. *bows and vanishes into a cloud of pixie dust*

  • instant relief

    I wanna see Schindler’s List 2: Craigslist Concentration Camp.

  • fred

    — great fucking WALL OF CHINAA!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I found the worst film on Netflix. It’s called The Guesthouse and it cost $250,000, was shot over nine days, and The Western Ore Musical looks a million times better. It’s about an eighteen year old asshole girl who falls in love with her father’s guest staying with them over the course of like one fucking day.

  • Palpatine

    What year is it from?

  • Sully

    Yeah that would never happen…

    http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130114194949/terminator/images/1/10/Sarah_Connor_and_Kyle_Reese.jpg

    Joking aside, it does have a 1.75 star rating. What did you expect?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    2012 and it has CRT TV’s and flip phones

  • TheManHole

    What savages!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Not to look like it was shot at the director’s house.

  • Sully

    So it looks like a porn?

  • Rex Reason

    No. Fuck those guys.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Amateur porn

  • TheManHole

    Most porno’s at least have the common sense to shoot at a hotel room common now.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Also you know the standard George Lucas A Camera, B Camera it’s here only worse because it looks like a porno.

  • dejectedchuckle

    Let’s replace Haley Joel with Dolph Lundgren. And instead of an Assistant DA he’s a Scientist, who thanks to a freak lab accident can smell crime… before it even happens.

    The eating all day has to go as well. I was thinking, and hear me out, full penetration. Dolph has a buxom young lab assistant who he’s always banging in between thwarting smell-crimes. The twist is that we show the banging. Missonary, 69, doggystyle, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl all of it and more.

  • TheManHole

    I would pay to see Jar Jar in a porno! Meesa love you long time.

  • Sully

    I’m gonna need a little more originality on your part, guy. Now get out of my office and don’t come back ’til you’ve spun a little gold.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thank you for that image. I’m going to kill my self.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    At least porno stars have chemistry sometimes…

  • Sully

    Kill me first.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We have to also include everyone else who read that comment

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwn.

  • TheManHole

    I may have gone to far in a few places.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You think? You have the ability to destroy the entire human race and we have to destroy it.

  • Sully

    NOTICE: IF YOU READ THE ABOVE “Jar Jar” COMMENT BY TheManHole, PLEASE UPVOTE THIS COMMENT.
    DON’T WORRY. WE’RE JUST TAKING A SURVEY, AND HAVE NO PLANS TO KILL YOU.

  • Angelo

    The only good thing coming from an Adam Sandler movie is the RLM review. Thank you guys for your sacrifice, you will not be forgotten.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    THEMANHOLE PROBABLY WANTS TO KILL YOU BASED ON THAT IMAGE HE PUT IN OUR BRAINS. DO NOT READ IT.

  • Sully

    Do you yawn through your mouth or your trunk?

  • Like Icare

    Or in a church…
    http://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/sep/13/italy.johnhooper
    The link between Il Confessionale and the church of San Vincenzo came to light when the film was downloaded from the internet by a man living in the area who took it to the police.

    Imagine the outrage of the guy jerking off to Monica Roccaforte and realizing that the film was filmed at HIS church – that he went and reported it to police.
    How did he explain to the cops what was he, a highly morally offendable churchgoing person, doing with porn with a nun showing some tit on the cover?
    Research for sociology class?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    From my MOOOOOWWWWOUTH.

  • Ric

    I now an immediate remake of Pixels starring (and written by) these 4 RLM guys.

  • Sully
  • TheManHole

    Stooop you are making me yawn.

  • Like Icare
  • Sully
  • Percy Gryce

    I’m just going to put this out there: H.J. Osment was not bad in Entourage the movie.

    Or so I’ve heard.

    From my own brain.

  • instant relief

    Let us pray for all the lost souls of the Great Adam Sandler Movie Holocaust.

  • instant relief

    I want to fuck more.

  • Percy Gryce

    See, now this is why I prefer BOTW. There at least the movies are supposed to be bad.

  • omitted

    Yes. This.

  • Sully

    Get in line behind in front of Omitted.

  • Sully

    He’s seldom been bad. He just isn’t little or cute anymore.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes, defend your racist movie, Netflix-Man

  • ultraterrestrial

    I like old-style–coz I’m old. It worked for Mad Max so I have hope. As a case in point, I’ve been listening to The Beatles in mono all this evening while tucking away a bottle of scotch. The mono mixes piss on the stereo ones. Back in the USSR…Hey Bulldog…every single track off Pepper. The stereo albums are a faded, degraged ghost of what the band really wanted to sound like. Let all our jet-engines be free. Let’s do it OAP fashion from here on in.

  • Like Icare

    Can those people be any less insightful and more unlikeable?

    It feels like watching a room full of Moe Szyslaks, only with less charm.

  • omitted

    Jay clearly agreed with Mike’s se(nti)men(t) about Q*bert. I’m gonna make him so happy!

  • TheManHole

    I am just going to say it I didn’t hate funny people until about the half way through. When the plot start to show warning signs of not know what to do to fill the third act. However; at the very least it was not nearly as insulting as some of his other crap.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Collider Movie Talk: When RLM has no content

  • Like Icare

    Wasn’t there a show like that?
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jake_and_the_Fatman

  • Sully

    1/2 true.

  • Cynical Optimist

    My theory is that Sandler actually thought that he should have been the Prez but when Paul Blart got the part, it made Adam salty. Thats why hes so miserable now. Damn you Kevin James!

  • Like Icare

    Four.
    They’ve signed him on for four movies.

    Good thing is, they may panic and take over the production.
    Worst case scenario, they make a good movie or two with Adam Sandler in them.
    Best case scenario… well it’s either BOTW or the Hole.

  • Sully

    Don’t over- think it.

  • Sully

    Wait a minute… Pixels wasn’t supposed to be bad?!

  • Like Icare

    It was the will of the Force.

  • Sully

    *Forced will.

  • Cynical Optimist

    I cant help it. After seeing Kevin James as a President all i have are questions that need answering

  • TheManHole

    Saving that for the prequel.

  • Palpatine

    Also, the makers of those movies had no intention of making them bad, Sandler on the other hand knew he was making a bad movie.

  • Cynical Optimist

    Paul Blart 3: President This

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Adam Sandler should be in another drama movie or an HBO show like True Detective. Fuck you, Netflix-Man, stop giving him money.

  • TheManHole

    Is Adam Scamler doing the Keven Smith thing and having all his movie connect? Gawd help us all… @_@

  • ultraterrestrial

    Pa–you do occasionally get an Inception, or an Interstellar,
    just as long as you’re prepared to suck down the scaly corporate pecker and trade those movies against yards of DC crud. Nolan has made precisely that deal and sadly he’s sticking to it.

    Is that good enough? Nope. Is that the best we can expect
    from Hollywood? Yep. The only hope we have left in the mainstream are similar trade-offs, which I personally hate and don’t consider to be worth it.

    What we really need are talented outsider indie directors
    prepared to say “fuck it…shove your deal….I’d rather do ‘X’ and screw the consequences” – a resurgence of faith in art and artists, which is currently in short supply.

    I see hope outside of Hollywood. I really do. But it will take some other goal aside from a dollar to mobilise people generally behind the cause.

    Perhaps there could be a generation who care enough to make that happen. I’m cynical and jaded but I’m still prepared to be surprised and keep my fingers crossed—even if they stay folded due to arthritis.

    When I look to RLM I see a little of that, even here, with these hack frauds.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I could buy Sandler as the President more than Kevin fucking James.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If Rob Schneider was in this would you consider this even more bad?

  • Like Icare

    Wasn’t Kevin fucking a James the premise of that movie where they pretend that they are gay and thus hijinks ensue?

  • Palpatine

    Yes.

  • Like Icare

    Paul Blarp Goes To Washington

  • Like Icare

    A triumph if you will.

  • Percy Gryce

    I’ll allow it.

  • Like Icare

    Not if he had replaced Michelle Monaghan.

    FFS She should be in a Gone Baby Gone sequel instead of in this crap.

  • Alex Lee

    It’s probably the last Adam Sandler movie where he actually tried.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Too bad, Affleck is doing Batman after his next film. Wait, that isn’t really a bad thing when you think about it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Something Chuck and Larry. I believe Sandler ends up with Jessica Biel at the end…

  • Cynical Optimist

    EXPANDED CINEMATIC UNIVERSE!!!!

  • TheManHole

    EVERYONE IS DOING IT!

  • Cynical Optimist

    Hard to do but yes.

  • Earth

    I was gonna say ain’t gonna work now that Haley’s bloated like Edward Furlong, except it seems everyone beat me to it.

  • Sully
  • Sully

    If by “triumph” you mean “insult comedy”, I’ll allow it.

  • Angelo
  • Sully

    That’s fucked up on a quantum level.

  • instant relief

    Carnal Duty 69: Behind Battallion

  • instant relief

    FUCK EVERYTHING!

  • Palpatine

    Triumph of the Will.

  • instant relief

    Ja! JA!

  • Like Icare

    Well… The movie WOULD benefit from Affleck’s direction, but maybe someone else can do it?
    Like Casey? He directed that… what’s it call… “I’m Still Here”.

    And though Michelle looks hot for 39… she might become unbankable real soon.

  • instant relief

    The boner is strong with this one.

  • Sully
  • Som

    Are ye guys gonna review SpaceCop!, It’s gonna be great

  • instant relief

    This post is pure cancer.

  • Sully
  • Sully

    Only a penitent man may pass.

  • Like Icare

    I think that George Lucas is preparing a special room at Skywalker Ranch just for that.
    It will have two cameras, two monitors, a coffee machine…

  • instant relief

    *an impotent

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Affleck is one the best directors working today, to find someone to follow what he did what for that movie is going to be tough and Casey is not that. Granted, I love Casey, he’s my brother in law but we made that movie as a mockumentary. It’s not something that proves he can follow in his brother’s footsteps.

  • Sully

    And a couch. Shot, reverse shot.

  • I want to believe.

  • instant relief

    “If I had time and a hammer, I’d track down every copy of Space Cop and smash it.”
    -Jorgé

  • Sully

    Thank Rich I’m not a man.

    Pound Sign: FoxLoopholesFTW

  • Like Icare

    Leni Riefenstahl is offended and hurt by your comparison of her agitprop film with a Sandler movie.

    http://c8.alamy.com/comp/C45MT4/leni-riefenstahl-as-a-war-correspondent-at-an-execution-in-poland-C45MT4.jpg

    And so are some Nazis.

  • My ex wife

    That is why I love reading your comments.

  • Cynical Optimist

    The horror… The horror…. .

  • Palpatine

    Yes it is.

    #CynicismFTW

  • Sully

    You’re still pissed Lucas ruined your closeup, aren’t you?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “You’re cancer”
    -RLM SubReddit

  • instant relief

    Does that mean I’m impotent now?

  • Sully

    Both.

  • Angelo
  • instant relief

    Both of my testicles will fall off?

  • Palpatine

    I am.

  • instant relief

    Oooh, internet! <3

  • Palpatine

    I’m not the butt-hurt DC fanboi, LOL!

  • My ex wife

    It always pays to do your research before you buy.

  • instant relief

    lucas (familiar) ADJ INV (Méx) crazy, cracked (informal)

    This explains a lot.

  • Sully

    …maybe.

  • RubberCop

    Mr. Lucas’s review?

  • Like Icare

    Frankly… I don’t think that Casey would be the problem on account of him not being good enough. It’s a Dennis Lehane story. It already works. Just get competent actors and it will work.

    It’s more that I don’t feel that his heart is in it. He seems to be more interested in acting in than making movies.

  • Like Icare

    I would be disappointed with anything less. And the universe would not allow that.

  • My ex wife

    I live upstairs from him, yes, I think he’s seen me before.

  • RubberCop

    Well, he talks funny already.

  • Sully

    There’s damn near no difference.

  • ultraterrestrial

    I’m really glad all that Skynet shit was just something James Cameron dreamt up….Oh My Gaaad! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-33686581

  • Sully
  • ultraterrestrial

    It’s Judgement Day, I tells ya!

  • Sully

    Don’t worry. Once the world ends, God will just reboot it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You just used two populist, corporate movies — essentially blockbusters for people who think they’re too good for blockbusters — that I can’t abide, as an example of the preferred alternative to Hollywood crud.

    I say Thee “Nay,” sir. Nay!!!

  • My ex wife
  • ultraterrestrial

    Seriously, though, just look at what this Rollo (Tomassi? If only) Carpenter asshat says about half way down the page: “I believe we will will remain in charge of the technology for a decently long time.” What kind of fuckin reassurance is that?!?! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30290540

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Her n and o? I haven’t even gotten past her elenem, yet.

  • ultraterrestrial

    It’s the infamous Leopard of Salford. Bastard must be on holiday…

  • Sully

    We need a robot force designed to hunt A.I.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s not Smog! It’s SMUG!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqDbG9h-f7c

  • Sully
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe
  • ultraterrestrial

    I did say, in regard of those films, I hate the process by which they were created and don’t consider the price to be worth it.

    (While, yes indeed, I also think they are in many respects better than Age of Electrolux. Marvel products are the dumb turds of Satan, by comparison, I’ll stand by that)

    Still you missed my point, mate. I said the future has to be built outside Hollywood or we might not have one. Only by refusing to play the game–and start a different one–will talent find cleaner air for itself and make any changes.

    I thought you’d agree with that.

  • Sully

    Though you’ve gotta appreciate that dig at himself for Batman.

  • Sully

    NEXT TIME PAY UP!! EH, KENNY?! Stupid fuck!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But then the smugness comes in

  • Palpatine

    O_0

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He died as he lived

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    An asshole?

  • Palpatine

    NO GURLZ ALOUD!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No beloved, you asshole.

  • Palpatine

    Now I’ve seen everything.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about Pixels? Have you seen that?

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    Four videos in 11 days! That’s an excellent pace.

  • Stantz

    Reading a list of shitty things you thought would be in the movie but aren’t, then saying the film was shitty because those things weren’t in the movie doesn’t make any fucking sense, Mike.

  • instant relief

    And now they’ll die from exhaustion.

    “The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long – and you have
    burned so very, very brightly, Roy. Look at you: you’re the Prodigal
    Son; you’re quite a prize!”

  • RLMkeepitup

    he said he watched jack and jill .. I think that’s enough

  • RLMkeepitup

    Hawking has been saying that for a while, he also thinks aliens would just zap us all like war of the worlds. Same ole Judgement Day is inevitable stuff

  • TheManHole

    Don’t worry we will send the ex-Governor of California back in time to save…himself from a rather embarrassing sex scandal.

  • RLMkeepitup

    what market or demographic does he even cater to anyways

  • tOmy`

    It officially begun with a drone attacking Enrique Inglesias.

    And that was good news,

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    That’s gross.

  • Sully

    It does when the alternative is worse than what was on the aforementioned list.

  • Sully

    From the Genisex? Okay I’m fucking done.

  • Sam Sullivan

    The point is it was too lazy to even have the basic cliched crap you would find in a standard movie like this. Instead, it just had nothing. So it actually makes perfect fucking sense.

  • RLMkeepitup

    whoever created that dead racoon twitter account needs to be hit by the bus too

  • Bubs

    @RedLetterRich @RedLetterMike @RedLetterJay
    I don’t know if you’ve ever read a single one of my posts, but I wanted to show you that no matter what harsh criticisms I may have, I still love you guys. So, Rich, since you love Pacman and eating balls so much, I made you a little something special:

    http://ilovebitdefender.itch.io/pac-rich?secret=ZMtk0dNIrsuPUOtDrssDOWaqiU

    It’s far from perfect, but it already took me longer than I think it was worth. Still, hope it makes you laugh if just for a minute. My way of saying, “Thanks for all the laughs you fucking frauds.” And I want you to know that at no point while I was photoshopping a man’s balls did I think to myself, “What am I doing with my life?” Though I probably should have.

    P.S. I don’t know if Jessie even works there anymore, it’s been forever since we’ve seen her. But I needed a fourth ghost, so there she is.

    P.P.S. For anyone who can’t get the webplayer to work, here’s a standalone:

    https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bz6sMDLVzg5oZl9WS3Zrcmx3SHc/view?usp=sharing

  • Sully

    It just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

    http://i.imgur.com/5Zrw3qp.jpg

  • tOmy`

    Much emotions. So wow.

  • tOmy`

    Now back to 9/11

  • Sully

    Be honest. It’s a trojan horse, isn’t it?

    YOU’VE COME FROM THE FUTURE OF SPACE TO MAKE SURE SPACE COP NEVER GETS RELEASED, HAVEN’T YOU!!!???!

  • instant relief

    So what? Everybody loves trojan whores.

  • instant relief

    I’m off snorkeling in Guantanamo Bay.

  • RLMkeepitup

    that’s pretty good dude, did you not put a button to quit the game though? haha

  • Bubs

    It’s a trojan condom

  • Bubs

    You’ll find a lot of things are missing and/or shitty. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a perfectly looping pacman waka waka? I do.

  • Sully

    Well that’s… anti-climatic.

    Ba dum…. *

  • instant relief

    Jack & Rich should make a Pre-Re about this and then complain how it’s just another mainstream rip-off.

  • Bubs

    That would probably make my year.

  • Sully

    I’m trying to imagine Adam Sandler getting one of these.

  • Strelnikov

    Colonel Kurtz would have loved that ending.

    Kurtz: I’ve seen horrors… horrors that you’ve seen. But you have no right to
    call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do
    that… but you have no right to judge me. It’s impossible for words to
    describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means.
    Horror… Horror has a face… and you must make a friend of horror.
    Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are
    enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies! I remember when I was
    with Special Forces… seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a
    camp to inoculate some children. We left the camp after we had
    inoculated the children for polio, and this old man came running after
    us and he was crying. He couldn’t see. We went back there, and they had
    come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A
    pile of little arms. And I remember… I… I… I cried, I wept like
    some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out; I didn’t know what I
    wanted to do! And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it… I
    never want to forget. And then I realized… like I was shot… like I
    was shot with a diamond… a diamond bullet right through my forehead.
    And I thought, my God… the genius of that! The genius! The will to do
    that! Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized
    they were stronger than we, because they could stand that these were
    not monsters, these were men… trained cadres. These men who fought
    with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled
    with love… but they had the strength… the strength… to do that. If
    I had ten divisions of those men, our troubles here would be over very
    quickly. You have to have men who are moral… and at the same time who
    are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without
    feeling… without passion… without judgment… without judgment!
    Because it’s judgment that defeats us.

  • tOmy`

    We all did. It was… worse than you can imagine.

  • tOmy`

    Guys and gals, I have been over at TheManhole and – surprise surprise – the playlist is quite fucking short right now!

    Start adding stuff, or we gonna have to go back to our pathetic lives. Also: When shall we do F&F:4 viewing?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • instant relief

    This is just way too much to read. If there’s no gif summarizing it all for me then I don’t care.

  • Sully

    I didn’t. I haven’t watched an Adam Sandler movie since… Airheads.

  • tOmy`

    Now: With GoPro!

  • Bubs

    It’s ribbed for your pleasure though. Guaranteed to give you a great climax!

  • Sully
  • Wizard Phoenix

    He runs Iowa’s largest Wildlife Preserve

  • Domo

    For Wrong With Your Face.

    You asked for YK Kim. The first link is the inspiration. The second link is the ‘art.’ So sorry for disappointing you 🙁

    http://i.imgur.com/bRIsats.jpg

    http://i.imgur.com/9DBbtnc.jpg?1

  • WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIS FAAACEEEE?

  • How about right now? Let’s run this bitch into the ground.

  • RLMkeepitup

    recommend Superfast! be added to the F&F list for closure for anyone who missed movies 1-3

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Where am me?

  • Sully

    Whaddaya mean? For once there’s nothing Wrong With His Face.

  • I’ll try it even though swallowing balls isn’t my passion.

  • amichel

    You can tell Jack is a true Wisconsinite, his innards are full of sausages and bratwurst.

  • He survived the SWAT raid I sent to his place? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZNNk14MpEI

  • Domo

    Well, Palpy’s next. What would you like? I could do Karen O or Joaquin, or maybe something else? Just realize it’ll take some time.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Both of us, because I love her and I don’t if she loves me back but still.

  • Domo

    The SWAT team became mesmerized when watching “Road Construction Ahead,” forgot what they were there for, then left with Mr. Levine for ice cream and funnel cakes.

  • Domo

    I’ll try, but it is gonna take some time.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No rush take your time

  • Five potato, six potato, seven potato more! Eight potato, nine potato, ten potato, eleven! Kiss my ass and go to heaven!

  • Domo

    They should make that game a movie for nostalgia purposes.

    All the nursing home residents will take advantage of the matinee pricing, but some will drag their families along, too!

  • They have. It’s called Assault on Precinct 13.

  • instant relief

    They’re just establishing this HitB episode as an official part of the Space Cop EU.

  • The merchandising opportunities are limitless.

  • instant relief

    Even a wonderful artwork like this one can’t hide that there’s something wrong with his face.

  • instant relief

    Hot dog butt plugs with ketchup ejaculator!

    What? Who said that?

  • instant relief

    That links is more proof that Jesus is walking the earth again.

  • tOmy`

    Have a little flat party. Tomorrow?

  • tOmy`

    Tomorrow midnight, have an evening party.

  • Tomorrow might be a no-go for me. Got a rehearsal at 7 that’ll probably end somewhere around midnight.

  • Strelnikov

    You’re like Mike; defeated.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m afraid one day we will find out that it’s not that Bruce Willis doesn’t care anymore, but that he’s been dead ever since Sixth Sense, and no one knew it.

  • Sully

    Nothing pisses off a moose like muffled screaming.

    Pound Sign: OutOfContextQuoteOfTheDay

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Jay announced that he was done with nostalgia. We should all follow his lead, in solidarity.

    Of course, that’ll be hard for many of you, come December.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “I eat my own mustache”
    Pound Sign: RiffTraxQuoteOfTheDay

  • Like Icare

    Someone, somewhere, is figuring how to make that into a moopie. And a toy.

  • instant relief

    That sounds dirty, Sanchez!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    While the bus is at it, run over all the stupid twits that left photos and flowers.

    At first I thought, “Oh cool. Ironic art project satirizing false communal mourning rituals. Way to lampoon all those snivelers who do the celebrity-death ghoul thing.” And then I realized these kids are just meme-ing and they won’t get it on any basic philosophical level. They’ll be back to sniveling over Bobbi Kristina tomorrow.

  • The King Shop

    Order discreet Top Quality

    ►Paaiin Kiillerss ,

    ►Med. Maarriijuaanna,

    ►Accttaavvis SSyrrupp.

    Shipping is discrete and delivery . No prescription Needed.

    AT (7.2.0) 9.0.0-1.2.1.4 or nyuyservi @ gmail . com . fgfhfh

  • The King Shop

    Order discreet Top Quality

    ►Paaiin Kiillerss ,

    ►Med. Maarriijuaanna,

    ►Accttaavvis SSyrrupp.

    Shipping is discrete and delivery . No prescription Needed.

    AT (7.2.0) 9.0.0-1.2.1.4 or nyuyservi @ gmail . com . thankks

  • The King Shop

    Order discreet Top Quality

    ►Paaiin Kiillerss ,

    ►Med. Maarriijuaanna,

    ►Accttaavvis SSyrrupp.

    Shipping is discrete and delivery . No prescription Needed.

    AT (7.2.0) 9.0.0-1.2.1.4 or nyuyservi @ gmail . com . thankks gfgfg gfg

  • The King Shop

    Order discreet Top Quality

    ►Paaiin Kiillerss ,

    ►Med. Maarriijuaanna,

    ►Accttaavvis SSyrrupp.

    Shipping is discrete and delivery . No prescription Needed.

    AT (7.2.0) 9.0.0-1.2.1.4 or nyuyservi @ gmail . com . thankks dfdgfg

  • Sully

    DANIEL?!

  • instant relief

    Ok, I’ll take 5g Super Silver Haze, please.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Chooper’ll get ya!

  • Sully

    Do you get a carpool tax credit for giving yourself a mustache ride?

  • Max Wylde

    So where’s the next Plinkett Review?

  • Sully

    Tuesday.

  • Larry

    May I have a link please? I’ve been trying to google this site but all I’m getting are gay bars and computer games with rabbits.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    They process people, into dog food.

  • Jonah Falcon

    So, what were those sausages supposed to be?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its behind you!

  • Sully

    I added My Science Project.

  • Johnny_

    Every other site gets spammed with “work from home” spambots, RLM gets “order pain killers with no prescription” sounds about right.

  • instant relief

    They’re obviously Space Cop’s infinity hot dogs. With ketchup.

  • Palpatine

    Give me all of that!

  • instant relief

    *instant sex change*
    Clever girl!

  • instant relief

    I never knew a useful spam bot existed.

  • Jay Stein

    I think the hotdog is meant to represent the harmonics of DNA inherent in our Universe..

  • Jay Stein

    Is Mike behind that spambot?

  • The Ghost

    Spent two minutes on RLM Sub-Reddit, out of curiosity.

    We’re cooler.

  • instant relief

    Space Cop needs them to power his flux capacitor. To travel to the future… OF SPAAAACE.

  • instant relief

    Just imagine Mike screaming “Paaiin Kiillerss!”.

  • The Ghost

    Ah wait, screwed up by forcing concurrence on thread. I meant I’m cooler.

  • Palpatine

    The party don’t start till I walk in.

  • Jay Stein

    Adding titles now

  • Jay Stein

    but it doesn’t end when you get thrown down a big shaft

  • instant relief

    TOSH?

  • Lt Hurwitz

    What’s up with these deleted comments?

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Just a black void with A.A Roberts standing in front of it.

  • Palpatine

    I hope he has chloroform.

  • Sully

    Incorrect! Report to the Headmaster’s office for your beating!

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IMlyr5DDsLY/TLPGvCceIfI/AAAAAAAAEbw/ooy3nETlkR0/s1600/Paddle.jpg

  • Sully
  • instant relief

    Looking forward to it.

  • Sully
  • Sully

    DELICIOUS, MOTHERFUCKER!!! THAT’S WHAT!

  • instant relief

    I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

    So long!

    *puts on The One Cockring and vanishes into a cloud of sea men*

  • instant relief

    Stop teasing!

  • Sully

    Appropriate Dildo Baggins quote.

  • Sully

    You won’t be so happy when you see where it goes… and how it goes in.

  • Palpatine

    Can it be a review of Bryce Dallas Howard’s body?

  • Sully

    What’d be the point of reviewing that?

    ★★★★★

  • Cynical Optimist

    Totally understandable breh

  • Palpatine

    It would be the best Plinkett review ever.

  • Jay Stein
  • Jay Stein

    The Manhole has some rules….

  • Cynical Optimist

    All he would do is trap her in the basement and use 20 cans of Raid on her while she’s monologuing-Oh wait… Actually that’d be a great review

  • Palpatine

    If he even lays a hand on her I’LL GOUGE HIS FUCKING EYES OUT!!!

  • Cynical Optimist

    I thought you already did that after watching Rich Evans get murdered! Why else are you wearing glasses?!

  • Palpatine

    I think that was some homeless man that sounded like Plinkett.

  • Cynical Optimist

    Oh… Well fuck that nerd!

  • Jay Stein

    As long as its 2 feet away from the Flux Capacitor everything will be fine

  • Larry

    That’s fine. I went there once and memory recalls a bunch of weird shorts and bad movies, which I like, and people were chatting. But I don’t have the link anymore. If one of the rules is to not provide links… then I’ll just watch weird stuff by myself.

  • Domo

    Can we review Chris Pratt, too?

    Everyone can have fun!

  • Sully

    How could you not? Look how fucking awesome my people are.

  • Palpatine

    My granddaughter wants Plinkett to review the kid who played Zach in Jurassic World. She can have him, I get Bryce, and Omitted can have Chris.

  • Thanatos2k

    I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been waiting for a Palpatine one.

  • Thanatos2k

    Looks like the other guys just wander around aimlessly.

    …..Sounds about right.

  • Thanatos2k

    And a directing chair.

  • Jay Stein
  • Thanatos2k

    What about that “YOU CAN DO EET!” asshole that used to be in every movie.

    Oh…..wait…….fuck

  • instant relief

    Prepare for ramming speed!

  • Jay Stein

    I love that fox (all Foxes)

  • Thanatos2k

    Fortunately it seems to be struggling internationally too. Probably because (outside of Japan) those people didn’t even GET those old arcade games released in their countries in the 80s, so they don’t even have the nostalgia to fall back on.

  • Sully
  • Palpatine
  • instant relief

    It’s like poetry and let’s me masturbate in stanzas.

  • Sully

    No, no, no. It’s not for ramming. It’s a bit for my drill. Unzip your pants. We’re goin’ in through the front.

  • Thanatos2k

    http://www.thejimquisition.com/2015/07/pixels-defense-review/
    “The game’s shit. Like the movie.”

  • Sully
  • Sully

    Not a fox, but I’ll allow it.

  • instant relief

    I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fap to that, especially after 9/11.

  • instant relief

    Still can’t see what is wrong with that.

  • Sully

    Nothing… which is exactly what you’re going to tell the cops when they get here.

    http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/dexter/images/5/58/Seeingred.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110730053842

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is Bryce your waifu?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Tshi

  • Palpatine

    I wish.

  • instant relief

    Why the bleepin’ hell do people still take Tom Cruise serious and see his movies?
    His career should’ve died 10 years ago.

  • Palpatine

    Beat me.

  • He’s more sausage now than man.

  • Domo

    Let the flogging begin.

  • Thanatos2k

    Even better than the Chunky’s Chicken site

  • Cynical Optimist
  • Malevolence

    RLM is on a roll with vids lately XD *tears* I’m so happy

  • Malevolence

    I’m so glad they killed that fat fuck Jack

  • Domo

    Through diet, no exercise.

  • omitted

    *will take

  • omitted

    Mmmmm… Prabs….
    *salivates*

  • omitted

    Who gets an erection once a year?
    Ooooohhhhh…..

  • Stantz

    Well, you say ‘Cliched Crap’, I say ‘Things MIKE thought would be in the movie, but weren’t’. I think they’re getting a little blinkered by their hate for Sandler. Saw it last night at an advance screening (UK), and thought it was very entertaining. Not good, but entertaining nonetheless.

  • omitted

    *fag

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Was making it impossible to finish some cruel joke on us? We’re their bitches and we know it.

    As constructive criticism, I think you should have had appropriate RLM audio clips for when a ghost gets eaten.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Shit! Get this asshole off of me!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Jawsie is up with them. He does that from time to time time after time.

  • Malevolence

    Midichlorians

  • Jaws Jetson

    You’ve been watching 50 Shades of Grey again haven’t you Palpy

  • Jaws Jetson

    somethin my ex wife used to say

  • Jaws Jetson

    yeah we all want a man with more sausage, you tell em sister

  • Jaws Jetson

    You say that now, wait til they release the uncut version where Mike does that strip tease

  • Jaws Jetson

    so what you’re really saying is, you just like dildos

  • Jaws Jetson

    just curious eh, well you’ve come to the right place

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh, I’m not disappointed at all! Everything is nice and wrong with his face, from the crooked nose to the sad eyebrows.

    Thank you, Domo. You’re a wonderful human bean. I’ll put it right there next to this: https://a.disquscdn.com/get?url=http%3A%2F%2Fi.minus.com%2FijZGM9psE0ZFF.gif&key=rEWYU_lWsq30i-pjp_0JNw&w=600&h=225

  • Jaws Jetson

    It’s a metaphor for cock, ya know, something you come here for, ie. Jack’s penis.

  • Malevolence

    That depends… is Mike uncut?

  • Jaws Jetson

    Jay only knows

  • Malevolence

    Does that baby in the picture over Jay’s right shoulder have a beard?

  • Malevolence

    Or Josh….. would explain why he hasn’t been back on in a while

  • Jaws Jetson

    pretty sure that’s baby Plinkett, just freshly popped out of his mammy’s womb

  • Malevolence

    Pretty sure Plinkett was born from pure evil and cynicism

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It says Mike on it.

  • Malevolence

    Oh yea… full screen button…. :/

  • Jaws Jetson

    you may just be onto something there

  • Jaws Jetson

    Jesus, you really like sausage don’t you bro, don’t worry my son, you’ve come to the right place *pulls down zipper*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    A-ha! I solved the mystery of Tim The Employee! Why, it’s our old pal, Tim Heidecker from Half in the Bag episode 37: http://www3.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Premiere+Tim+Eric+Billion+Dollar+Movie+Red+qZGUmOBHw3fl.jpg

    http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8jxpvTujg1r9652ro1_400.gif

  • Jaws Jetson

    that was like a Columbo moment, well done son

  • Domo

    I’m glad you like it. Enjoy!

    That gif brings back so many wonderful memories. I miss Faddlechud and his dollar collar immensely.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he is a strange looking tiny troll man.

  • Palpatine

    I’d rather watch 50 Shades of Bryce Dallas Howard.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    quit it with the Bill Cosby jokes.

  • Jaws Jetson

    well see, at one time, he was raping, I mean dating, that Emmy Award winning actress and everybody’s favorite part of Batman Begins, Katie Couric, and you just can’t beat that sort of exposure.

  • Jaws Jetson

    If you ever do hook up with her, tell her, her old man made the most boring movie ever made, The Da Vinci Code.

  • Jaws Jetson

    HI, I’M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE FROM FACEBOOK AND YOUTUBE THAT SPEAK ALL IN CAPS, I WASN’T SATISFIED JUST IRRITATING THE SHIT OUT EVERYBODY THERE, SO I CAME HERE TO IRRITATE EVERYBODY HERE TOO

  • Andrew Thompson.

    You !NEED! CA$H JOB
    $$$$$$$$$$$$2MILLION!$$$$$$ per hour.
    Log on to SpaceSpamScamnet.com. and once you enter your creditcard number we can make you $$$RICH$$$

  • Bubs

    It’s a metaphor for Adam Sandler movies. It has all the elements of a real game, but none of the substance. Things aren’t quite right, and there’s no real point to its existence. In the end it all comes off as a shameless cash grab.

    Also, I tried to find RLM audio clips but was quite unsuccessful. I wanted to have one where Rich goes “OH MY GAAAAAAAD” when he eats a powerup (set of balls). However, I was having a hard time finding pre-cut clips, and I wasn’t about to put in the effort of editing the sound clips myself.

  • He’s gone on to make… uh… great things.

  • http://img.4plebs.org/boards/tv/image/1405/53/1405532205617.gif

    Her only shade is the red in her red hair, though.

  • instant relief

    Welcum to my life. 🙁

  • Jaws Jetson

    nice pic bro, is that you on Brokeback Mountain

  • instant relief

    And that’s supposed to answer my question? Are ya drunk again?

  • instant relief

    Nobody can make you Rich. Rich already exists and there can be only one.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Are you sure? give me your credit card number to find out.

  • instant relief

    I don’t have one. 😉

  • Andrew Thompson.

    never seen it. dont tell anyone.

  • bleurgh

    Um, what mystery?

  • instant relief

    One day he’s gonna change the fate of the multiverse!

  • Sully

    I’m callin’ bullshit. Not enuf mispell wurds.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I was reading the comments on that video. Such a walk down the memory lane. Back when we still had *sniff* gifs…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    http://i.imgur.com/vhqEUX7.jpg?1 (Jay unrelated)

    Someone (I think tOmy or Sully or one of those) wondered about it earlier.

  • instant relief

    gr8 m8 no d-b8 i r8 it an 8 i h8 2 b in an ir8 st8 but its my f8

    hey m8 i apreci8 that u r8 it gr8 u wanna d8 and mayb masturb8 i can ask n8 and we can meet at the g8 dont b l8

    gr8 b8 m8 i r8 it an 8/8 plz don’t h8

    gr8 b8 m8 cant even h8 so I r8 8 outta 8

    Gr8 b8 m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an
    8/8. Plz no h8., I’m str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can’t w8. We should convers8, I
    won’t ber8.

  • instant relief

    When I look at that gif, why does my heart feel so bad?
    Why does my soul feel so bad?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “convers8” is NOT a word. Never has been.

    The word is “convers.” Like the sneakers.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Things anyway.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    dont be like that. go on “Allow it.”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Jack-shaming is bullying.
    #StopIt

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Your constant shaming of bullies is bullying.
    #you are what you eat.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    He does his own stunts! And, I hear he’s very highly involved in some sort of community brain-washing outreach program.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You wanted THE BEST! But they weren’t available, um, sorry. So, here’s the HOTTEST BAND IN THE LAND…wait, what?…No it isn’t. It’s a bunch of old right-wing fairies in tights and make-up. Is this a wrestling gig? What? Oh, alright. Playing their big disco hit…The band that gave you such classics as, um, “Beth”…Oh, fuck this…Kiss. What? Oh, yeah, sorry. KISS!

    END SCENE

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Everybody experiments in college.

  • instant relief

    Maybe he has bulimia.

    Well, you see… it’s a play on…
    Good bye!

  • Jaws Jetson

    Detroit Rock City

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think you mean “converse”.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Two cows and a bunny.

  • Jaws Jetson

    you’re right, but we can’t allow ourselves to go that far, because that is a level of dumb that might have no return

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Any half-rate band can stumble on to one good song if they stick around long enough.
    Sh!t, Wings had TWO.

  • instant relief

    Ooooh… well, Heil Tom, i guess! o_

  • Jaws Jetson

    oh god Wings

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Duh. The misspelling is part of the joke.
    Don’t you get it?!!?

  • Jaws Jetson

    yeah yeah sure sure

  • Sully

    I got it, Maybelline.

  • instant relief

    Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s Maybelline.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You ALWAYS get me, Foxy.
    You don’t ever upvote my clever puns, but you get me.

  • Sully

    I’m more of a stamp it out as it appears-type fox.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh, I think I got it now… But I don’t wanna spoil it for everyone else.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Nicely done.

  • Jaws Jetson
  • Sully

    I always forget to upvote comments, but I upvoted that one. I upvoted it 1 whole time (cause spamming the upvote button does nothing apparently).

  • Andrew Thompson.

    exactly.

  • Sully

    WHO YOU CALLIN’ “LADY”, MOTHERFUCKER?!! I’ll STICK THE LIPSTICK RIGHT ON YOUR FOREHEAD!!!

  • Jaws Jetson

    hey man no dissin the jimi

  • Sully

    Is that a trunk joke? If so, I’ll allow it.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i up vote Tru dat or if i laugh and to show my bitter sarcasm is a joke.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    At least it’s Hendrix. He could’ve hit us with Styx. Would’ve ruined all of our week.

  • instant relief

    Calm down, Mulder.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Jimi Hendrix is overrated! His solos are sooo boring once he really gets going.

  • Sully

    Nobody likes your weird shark penis, Jaws.

  • Jaws Jetson

    oh boo to that no way bro no how no dissin the jimi man

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he is new. he missed Ma Kettle, Maybelline, Grumpa.
    but he missed the gif wars so thats a plus. dont tell him what i did!

  • Sully

    How will you “shit” if I “get that asshole off of you?”

    It’s an important question, Face.

  • Jaws Jetson

    I get that a lot

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i didnt… they found me synthesizing Nitroglycerine… Life lab ban.

  • Sully

    You just told on yourself. Luckily I no longer have the posters as evidence.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i prefer *SMOKE BOMB *sound of running feet.

  • instant relief

    You fought in the GIF Wars?

  • Jaws Jetson

    Youre hitting on him arent you

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The More You Know™

    http://tinyurl.com/5jtdh4

  • Jaws Jetson

    #Jawsshaming

  • Sully

    Yes. I was once a Comment Knight, the same as your father.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Clasper? I haven’t even met her yet.

  • Sully

    Jack has too much shame. That’s not our fault. Someone should make a montage video of all the times Jack has been shocked by Mike, Jay, and/or Rich.

    Get on it, @mitchelltaconash:disqus

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Not as clumsy or random as ALL CAPS, GIFs were an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.

  • Jaws Jetson

    agreed

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i do… i think…. *searching draws for external HDD.

  • Jaws Jetson

    his or yours

  • Andrew Thompson.

    both!

  • Jaws Jetson

    well the mystery is how exactly does Adam Sandler keep getting work

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Neat question, Kalvin!

    That sounds horribly complicated. I imagine it’s kind of like mid-air jet refueling.

  • instant relief

    My father was a stupid assh… oh, right, gotta stay in character…

    I wish I’d known him.

  • Jaws Jetson

    Just google him, he starred in this really grate movie, called Jingle all the Way, you’ll love it.

  • Jaws Jetson

    Remember Wally World? that WAS funny once right?

  • Sully

    He was the best commentor in cyberspace, and a cunning giffer. I understand that you’ve become quite a good commenter yourself. And he was a good friend.

  • instant relief

    My forgotten, da Bosses will do terrible tings to me TERRRRRIBLE is me going back der!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    annnnnd you ruined it. thanks Jorge Lucas!

  • Sully

    Well, not anymore!

  • Sully

    No, I said we don’t talk about Tim, but you had to go and dig up a whole special CAN of fucking worms, didn’t you?
    DIDN’T YOU?!

  • Jaws Jetson

    cousin Eddie’s dog farted… *lol*

  • Jaws Jetson

    nice lol

  • Sully
  • Sully

    This might well be the only webzone on the whole net with its own mythos.

  • instant relief

    Jar Jar helped Palpy to start the war.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Like Lost we make it up as we go along.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Sheesh. A guy’s just trying to be helpful, and you get all-claws-&-teethy. Does somebody need a distemper shot?
    Speaking of distemper, I watched WHITE GOD last night. Anybody heard of that? It’s not worth CineMaybe™-ing, but it was sorta fun, in a goofy CONQUEST OF THE PLANET OF THE MUTTS kinda way. Don’t go out of your way to find it — and, if you can’t stand animal cruelty, avoid it — but if you’re ever in the mood for a foreign, artsy, animal-attack / tween-girl-empowerment moopie (and WHO ISN’T ever in the mood for one of those?), you may enjoy it.

  • instant relief

    Soo… 3 more years and RLM will suck?

  • Sanford and Jaws

    forgot about that, Nicole Kidman and Cruise. Tried to forget about the movie too, though it wasn’t complete crap, just mostly tame.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’ll allow it.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Dude no! if you weren’t there dont joke. it was long, dark, bitter struggle and lead to a final brutal 10.000 comment war on a RLM t-shirt ad.
    so many comments deleted… Lest We Forget.

  • Sanford and Jaws
  • Sully

    No, my mythos doesn’t include Twisted Sister.

  • Sanford and Jaws

    Does now

  • Sully

    NOPE!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Seconded!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Best movie of all time, or Greatest movie of all time?Disqus…

  • instant relief

    I’m glad I missed it.

  • Sanford and Jaws

    But… I wanna Rock! man, stop killin the buzz

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I blame Catsup.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And just as I was about to give you a cookie, too. For shame. No! Put that cookie down! NOW!

  • Sanford and Jaws

    yes this

  • Sully

    Fine! It’s part of your back story, but it’s up to you to explain that nonsense. Might as well add Jar Jar Binx whilst you’re at it. At least he’s easy to explain.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    NOPE!

  • Sanford and Jaws

    I’ll allow that

  • Sanford and Jaws

    not you too

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Sully

    He was like the Count Dooku of the comment section; whilst powerful, I don’t think he was the master behind that assault.

    http://www.quickmeme.com/img/c8/c800a4e76547f1870685b9bbd12406acb3c0f6d724bdddd39a19e0261da295a7.jpg

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Sorry. I know I should and I risk all kinds of Hipster-shaming, but I don’t remember which one Count Dooku even is.

  • Sanford and Jaws

    the lame one, oh, thats all of them isnt it, hmmm

  • WrongWithYourFace

    This must be the stupidest thing I have ever read: http://scifi.stackexchange.com/questions/27358/to-whom-was-yoda-referring-when-he-said-there-is-another

    “Is there any canonical source as to what Yoda meant, or was uncle George setting us up for Episode VII?”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Gawd, just look at the ugly transvestites! Rupaul is vogueing in his grave!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    The first war, was on the old site when ‘Dude Bro’s’ came out. there was three guys that took it way too seriously and trolled the fuck out of the place.
    that was when i first saw the power of using quotes as comments… Many Bothans died that day….

  • Sanford and Jaws

    80s man was well another world lol

  • Sanford and Jaws

    that maybe getting into Force Awakens territory, which could be interesting if done right

  • Sully

    The late Christopher Lee.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Left to right its
    Rapist
    Guy in glasses raping the rapist.
    Transvestite having his dick bitten off. (By a guy he is raping.)
    A corpse.
    Noel Fielding.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Late”? More like “too soon”!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Gran Mof HINZ?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Sadly no. it could be twisted… by sick aresholes that want to put their fingers in your asswallet.

  • Sanford and Jaws

    see twisted.. a twisted sister refference, its already happening ;P https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xmckWVPRaI

  • Sully

    He wasn’t cool enough to feature in the original trilogy.

  • Like Icare

    Green. George was setting up a canonical source that Yoda meant it was green.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The decade that made everybody think “Rock n’ roll is really kind of sucky, if this is what it is. Let’s do, um, something else.”

  • Jawsted Sister

    i think youre confusing that with the 90s

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You mean the guy who was on the cover of that Wings album with James Coburn? What is it with us this morning and all the crap-rock referencing? Where’s tOmy?

    http://tinyurl.com/pagkfdu

  • Sully

    To be fair, Bothans are pretty useless. The trolls just cut’em down like butter.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Jawsted Sister

    look here you guys, 80s rulez. WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT, NO WE AINT GONNA TAKE IT, WE’RE GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The 90s didn’t get the memo.
    But, I’d take matchbox20 and, even, Nickleback any day over Twisted Sister and Bon Jovi.

  • Jawsted Sister

    serious lol… um no
    Guns N’ Roses… bro Metallica.. now we’re talkin !

  • Andrew Thompson.

    FUCK YOU TOO!
    i know you’re old but fucking hell Pa,

    https://youtu.be/H833o5lnB2E

  • Jawsted Sister

    In 1989 the world died, and we’ve been having a funeral ever since, music, movies. And that is why we remake everything. We don’t remake the 90s, cause the 90s for the main part sucked, but not nearly as much as it does now, Sorry folks. But thats the truth.

  • Sully

    If we’re going by the idea that, just because you have a Jedi parent, it doesn’t mean your kids are going to be Jedi, then it’s possible that Obi Wan didn’t know about Leia’s abilities. Yoda, being the shit, probably used his hermit time a little more proactively, and sought out other Jedi potentials using the force and stuff and shit.

    At least that’s what I always took from it.

  • TheManHole

    It can’t be any worse then the phantom menace.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    go delete your self.

    https://youtu.be/4WOk7UNAvOw

  • TheManHole

    Do we ever even get to see a bothan in the whole original trilogy?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    though to be fair i miss the cold war….

    https://youtu.be/9w-n0GrkF8E

  • TheManHole

    I can’t wait until Hollywood starts making remakes of movies they already remade. Oh wait.
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2250912/

  • Jawsted Sister

    not bad havent heard that for a while, but we need guitars bro more guitars never have too much

  • Jawsted Sister

    but that was never any good to begin with

  • TheManHole

    That is why we need to just keep remaking it so people will forget how bad the old ones where and give us more money, I mean enjoy our new story.

  • Jawsted Sister

    Toby Maguire was like show me the money, that and he sucked ass and balls then cried about it

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    We interrupt this broadcast for an Important Message to all future, 24 year-old, white, cunting, ISIS fanboys:

    You are not allowed to wear Batman tee-shirts. If you insist on taking selfies of your dumbass, we cannot stop you, but you wear a Marvel property tee-shirt when you do that sh!t. I suggest Captain America, if you’re going for irony. Chris Pratt as Star-Lord, if that’s all you’ve got. You know you’re gonna get on a 24/7 loop on CNN, and we all know that’s the kind of attention you’re looking for, you little sh!t, because your Mommy didn’t buy you a car for graduation, or whatever, you FUCK, but leave Batman out of it. Then again, this is probably too much for you to take in, what with words and everything, so I’ll simplify: Just go kill yourself. Do it now. Cunt.

    We now return you to our regular programming. Back to 9/11.

  • Jawsted Sister

    yeah ok so Pearl JAm arent bad… i did say for the most part…

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    But, but, but…Marvel. It’s going to be Marvel, now. Marvel! Marvel. They are Marvel and they make Marvel movies and Marvel, Marvel, Marvel, just like Jan Brady said.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You’re off by at least three years.

  • Jawsted Sister

    spiderman movies suck so much balls that it cant be quantified in mere words

  • Jawsted Sister

    early 90s i can live with.. true you do have a point now i think on it, pearl jam nirvana and such

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That’s a blip. I was talking three years PREVIOUS. The world of Pop Culture died in 1979. Rock lingered until 1986. So, I allowed for 7 years’ Gimme.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Marvel. Marvel marvel marvel Marvel marvel. Marveling Marvel marvels marveling, marveled Marvel. Marvel marvel marvel. Marvel.

  • Jawsted Sister

    yeah you could argue that actually, because nirvana for instance, or offspring if thats how you roll, arent bad but they aint THAT good compared to the classics..

  • Jason Ross

    I liked Pixels better when it was called Slaughtered Vomit Dolls

  • Jawsted Sister

    and people told me to watch spiderman 2 like its some hallowed classic for the ages…. umm no.. that shit is terrible on so many levels, i couldnt even explain it

  • Like Icare

    Ooooh! Very “Prune Defective”. Hidden clues everywhere.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Jawsted Sister

    close but no cigar but it does have ”guitar” in it i guess

  • Jawsted Sister

    i liked Sandler when he was almost amuzing.. but that was so fucking long ago that its embarassing to even say that

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Sully
  • Sully

    That’s the one.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Sully

    All all say is, two there always are, a master and an apprentice.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    oh, wait…
    I blame Andrew.

  • Like Icare

    Only way his career will die is if he dies or ends up in prison for life or checks into an insane asylum. Whichever comes first.

    Cause dude is one hell of an actor.
    Seriously, he’s like an insane celebrity version of D.D. Lewis.
    He is dedicated, gets deep into the role and sticks to that “playing the pig” philosophy of his from before his insane cultist days.
    You know… that “For ham and eggs chicken only has to give up an egg but a pig has to give up a leg(life).” thing he goes about.

    Remember “Born on the 4th of July”?
    Both he and Stone were looking into ways to temporarily paralyze him below the waist but finally gave up when they couldn’t find a safe way to do it, and he settled for going around in a wheelchair on and off the set.
    But it’s just not the same as having your tooth pulled to get into a bit part in “The Outsiders”.
    He’s insane dedicated AND insane insane.

    And you know… there’s always the obvious example of him acting like a perfectly normal person in the movies while being out of his gourd crazy in real life.
    Dude is a GREAT actor. Mad as a bicycle but a great actor.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LaSSweKvys

  • Andrew Thompson.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE.

  • Like Icare

    He’s not insane?

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    They are the cannon fodder of the galaxy. Sorta like Tribbles with legs.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he is insane. but an average actor, with a sub-human appearance.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Oh Jeebus Chrissy!

    And we’ve still got another 3-4 decades of the media paying attention to that little droplet!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    No. Tribbles are the Marvel movies of the Star Trek universe.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Its like 200 comments just cried out in anguish….
    Fuck you jaws!.
    he is worse than the spam.

  • RLMkeepitup

    there’s a lot of blood in the comment waters today, I’m beginning to think there’s something to this territoriality theory

  • RLMkeepitup
  • RLMkeepitup

    you sound like Judi Dench

  • instant relief

    He’s acting a little bipolar.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Shut up 007!

  • Sully

    For better or worse, Jaws, like the fish, will always return.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he does this all the time it fucking shits me!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    No. i’m done. abusers only win if you take them back.

  • instant relief

    I feel your pain, brah.

  • TheManHole

    What in the world just happened all the comments that are deleted and it would not let me reenter the web zone for a hour.

  • Sully

    I’m never around when he gets banned. What happened?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Now, now, Andrew. I we took that kind of tone with every single one of us who ever took a thing too far in some places, this webzone would be populated by two people. One of them would be Taco, and the other would be neither you nor I.

    #Tits!CalmThem

  • Like Icare

    No. Bill Paxton is an average actor. Or more like a median actor. Long tail towards the zero and all.

    Cruise’s problem (besides being an insane cultist) is that most of the time he is cast based on his prettyboy looks.
    So he rarely gets to show any subtlety or play outside the safety of the moneymaking zone – but it is there.
    But you have to pay attention to his acting – cause it is very subtle, often being all done through the body language.

    E.g. He is COMPLETELY miscast in Jack Reacher. That character is supposed to be like The Rock only bigger.

    BUT… if you go through any book in the series it is glaring how much he got the character right.
    The dude is a midget but he acts and commands the self-confidence and world-view of this mountain of a guy.

    And that guy is NOT the guy he plays in Mission Impossible movies OR the guy he plays in Knight and Day which is essentially a parody of the guy he plays in MI.

    All of those characters are “army of one”, send him in and watch the bodycount, supersecretsuperagentMcNinjas – but all of them are subtly different.
    And then compare that to his version of a real life equivalent of that kind of guy in Collateral.

    Dude is a great actor. Insane, possibly a psycho… but a great actor.

  • Sully

    Jaws got banned or self-terminated…. again. Same lockout happened to me.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Jaws did his usual delete himself bullshit and we all had to suffer.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The lockout had nothing to do with Jaws. Disqus hiccup.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Nothing. There’s definitely something fishy about him.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Um, Twisted Sister! That’s what happened!

  • TheManHole

    But why? I was just about to reply to a comment and it claimed that a mod had deleted it then I could not get back onto the site.

  • Sully
  • Sully

    I’ll allow it.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    ITS NOT FUCKING BANNING!!!! THE FUCKING CUNT DOES IT FOR A LAUGH!

  • Sully

    Soooo… fish shaming it is!! No more commenting on anyone with the name “Jaws” attached.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yeah it did. every time he pulls this shit stunt the website crashes while it deletes his bullsht.

  • TheManHole

    Wow well that is fucking dumb what a shit stain…

  • tOmy`

    Since we are somewhat not allowed to paste the link here, I shall create a riddle to help you get there.

    Find the oldest willow next to the closest lake. Wait for the midnight and when the clock struck twelve, make sure to run around the willow exactly 3.5 times. If you do everything right, the bark should creek and the raven should sing a sorrowful song, upon which the bark opens and it gives you a laptop connected to the nearest wi-fi. Then just enter https://cytu.be/r/TheManhole into the browser bar and you should be good to go.

  • Like Icare

    At the very least.
    And they haven’t even started convincing us that he is a honest to god real action star.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Andrew, Jeebus Chrissy.

    He who never started a GIF war, may start with the throwing of the stones.

    I blame Catsup.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i will kick him in the nuts!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It’s his dumbass Dad all over again, just when we had gotten that one exiled to DC movies.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i didnt start it… and i died so show some respect.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    He pulled “this shit stunt” three times already this morning and it didn’t happen.

  • tOmy`

    It was a very uneventful day and I had to suffer through it without my daily dose of your avatars.

    I even tried to contact the customer support to give me a number to suicide prevention hotline.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    every 3-4 days for the last few months. its fucking getting boring.

  • tOmy`

    We’re gonna need a bigger comment section.

    Uhm…

  • TheManHole

    Really wow someone needs to call him out on his shit. Doesn’t he know some of us are trying to doge responsibility at work!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Name changes are different if you delete your profile if fucks everything.
    if you dont believe me delete yourself and see what happens.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Lucky you. You just returned in time for a half-dozen panic attacks and a temper tantrum.

  • TheManHole

    Please don’t! D:

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Drop it, or I will.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i assume thats probably why he does it. or he is 9 and has to give his mum’s i’Pad back.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Pa you been away. after he deletes himself another 20 times you remember this.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    both.

  • Like Icare

    How bout a Bill Clinton joke?

    Did you know that Bill Clinton is the same for having a blowjob by Monica – as Bill Cosby drugging and raping women?
    And that is the same as digging up a corpse from a graveyard, keeping in under the bed and fucking it.

    Oh… Wait… That was not meant as a joke…

    http://www.salon.com/2015/07/28/camille_paglia_how_bill_clinton_is_like_bill_cosby/

    So I say there is a big parallel between Bill Cosby and Bill Clinton–aside from their initials! Young feminists need to understand that this abusive behavior by powerful men signifies their sense that female power is much bigger than they are! These two people, Clinton and Cosby, are emotionally infantile–they’re engaged in a war with female power. It has something to do with their early sense of being smothered by female power–and this pathetic, abusive and criminal behavior is the result of their sense of inadequacy.

    Now, in order to understand that, people would have to read my first book, “Sexual Personae”–which of course is far too complex for the ordinary feminist or academic mind! [Edit: I LOVE THIS LINE!!!] It’s too complex because it requires a sense of the ambivalence of human life. Everything is not black and white, for heaven’s sake! We are formed by all kinds of strange or vague memories from childhood. That kind of understanding is needed to see that Cosby was involved in a symbiotic, push-pull thing with his wife, where he went out and did these awful things to assert his own independence. But for that, he required the women to be inert. He needed them to be dead! Cosby is actually a necrophiliac–a style that was popular in the late Victorian period in the nineteenth-century.

    It’s hard to believe now, but you had men digging up corpses from graveyards, stealing the bodies, hiding them under their beds, and then having sex with them. So that’s exactly what’s happening here: to give a woman a drug, to make her inert, to make her dead is the man saying that I need her to be dead for me to function. She’s too powerful for me as a living woman. And this is what is also going on in those barbaric fraternity orgies, where women are sexually assaulted while lying unconscious. And women don’t understand this! They have no idea why any men would find it arousing to have sex with a young woman who’s passed out at a fraternity house.
    But it’s necrophilia–this fear and envy of a woman’s power.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    but there’s nothing wrong with ISIS. I prefer them to CIA:

    http://data.techtimes.com/data/images/full/21179/isis-archer-jpg.jpg

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Andrew, I went away two months ago for a few weeks. I am logged on this site constantly while at work, and site glitchiness or shutdowns occur three – four times daily, whether Jaws is around or not.

    Neither one of us has to be correct about this.

    But, seriously, right this minute, I’m getting annoyed, and it isn’t at Jaws.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Clinton said “Hey wanna fuck the President?”
    Cosby said “Hey well look over there, while i slip this in your drink.”
    different stories.

  • Sully

    Andrew, chronicle this event and let’s move forward amicably.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Well you could not pay any attention…. why do you give a flying fuck what i rant about?

  • TheManHole

    I like pancakes big floppy pancakes with whipped cream strawberries and powdered sugar.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Whipped butter and Maple syrup.

  • Earth

    Sir, you realise this is a hardware store right?

  • Like Icare

    No, no, no… It is all about war with female power. Only most feminists are too stupid to get it.

  • Sully

    I’m gonna be honest, Hole. That’s t.m.i. Keep that kinda shit to yourself.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Right, because your rants only ever piss me off. You may have forgotten, but I think it was “Jaws” who came to your defense when you were in the midst of that GIF-related crap with Bubbles and Catsup. That’s when he started the whole disappearing-reappearing stunt.
    But, what-defuck-ever. It’s your house. Rant away.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Nuke female power from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  • Sully

    I don’t like rants. They get everywhere.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Pa sweetie you do nothing but rant about things that shit you. i have never told you to stop. i dont get why your pissed off.

  • TheManHole

    🙁

  • Earth

    Palpatine’s granddaughter…..hmmm….you mean Leia?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    So many jokes…. MUST RESIST.

  • Sully

    What? I don’t come on this webzone telling everyone how I like my rabbit!
    Let’s keep things on topic here. Now back to 9/11.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Ranting about “things” is one thing. Ranting about other commenters personally is something else. And, yeah, I can be accused of doing the first a lot and the second occasionally. But, we’re not talking about me, right now. Right now, I’m on the side of the angels.

    Anyway, sweetie, I’ve got work to do, so I’m out.

    You have my permission to type about me behind my back, but quit staring at my ass.

  • Oh look, Adam Sandler’s paycheck came in. http://i.imgur.com/vCLCc1r.gifv

  • TheManHole

    You sure that was not the script for Pixels two?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Thats fair.

  • Quite possibly.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I applied for work on 911. but they said it was an inside job and i like working outdoors.

  • TheManHole

    Well its still better then the Phantom Menace.

  • TheManHole

    Dank memes can’t melt steel beams.

  • Palpatine

    Why was the webzone down for while?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    DONT ASK!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    batman news DDOS attack.

  • Palpatine

    Can we blame you again?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    both.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes.

  • I AM THE NIGHT

  • TheManHole

    If the webzone goes down for a bit when someone with a few comments deleted themselves would someone with thousands create a black hole and destroy this part of the internet?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Hey, Hole. What’s your stance on cybernetic manholes? Too much? Too little? …Too soon?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no… i tried.

  • Sully

    Reliably, though you may notice a shit load of deleted comments.

  • TheManHole

    Them new fancy manholes are putting us honest working old timers out of work. Its a crying shame I say, need to start turning ticks in the ally to feed me 12 kids!

  • Palpatine

    How would someone deleting their account cause the site to go down?

  • Sully

    I think it’s just a coincidence.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Patreon bucks only pay for so much bandwidth.

  • TheManHole

    It tries to remove all their comments at once it seems and the webzone can’t handle that. Also I doubt it helps that people can be replying to a comment that is being deleted.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Yes. This.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “to feed me 12 kids”

    Uh, what kind of -um job are we speaking here exactly? Keeping in mind that you’re a, nay, the manhole.

  • TheManHole
  • What pains me about ISIS (apart from the obvious) is that some people were stupid enough to confuse a disbanded music group with the Islamic state and throw shit at them on facebook and youtube. They had to add “the band” so that idiots could understand. It’s the LotR: The Two Towers situation all over again.

  • Star Trek reference. I’ll allow it!

  • Sully

    Not to mention she’s kinda hot, too. I mean, if you’re in to gold chicks.

    http://www.cosmicgoddess.org/ISISmed.jpg

  • Palpatine

    I AM BE ANGEROUS NOW!

  • tOmy`

    Have no fear, music is here: My last music post was more of a joke regarding the depressed, cynical and suicidal vibe connected with the current state of super-reboot sighnema. Short story even shorter: I simply omitted the good shit I found lately. But as I said, have no fear, the stuff you don’t exactly care about is here:

    Bokka – Bokka When I saw Bokka live, they opened up with a message: “Welcome to our universe”. And boy oh boy, what an universe it is. A tour through not exactly unheard of landscapes, but landscapes that still don’t seize to awe, a voyage through synthesized nebulas and hauntingly-beautiful echoes of the main singer’s voice; Bokka borrows from Pink Floyd, Björk, Radiohead and many other experimental artists, to showcase their own take on an late-night album, best consumed with wine or tea. It may not be exactly a voyage past our own solar system, but for what is worth, our solar system is still pretty fucking cool thing. The only drawback could be that the main space-flagships of songs are rather similar – but the classic experimental album stuff like interludes, short songs and dismantled harmonies filling the rest are all putting it into place. 9/10

    Vök – Circles While Bokka plan on taking the whole universe with their experiments, Vök take these experiments and put them into a small clubs, where intimate electro meets Björk’s vocals and accompanies it by saxy sound of sexophone. It is hard to judge an artist by a 4 songs EP and their live performance, but for what it’s worth: If this is their career vehicle, it is yet another career to watch. 8/10

    Akua Naru – The Journey Aflame The sexiest album Lauryn Hill never made brings R’n’B and rap back to the small club filled with cigar smoke and a sound of dollar bills being stuck behind panties. The intimate sexiness is captured within classical jazz / funk samples, while on other parts of the album, the never heard before jazz compositions come to life to support this African-American goddess. The 90s aftertaste is ever-present and you will never stop wondering why do these new “R’n’B queens” stray so much from the classical take on a genre that is currently occupied by mindless, money-succumbing drones. 8/10

  • TheManHole

    But just wait until Christopher Nolan directs me?

  • Sully

    My guess is he’ll burn out and disappear much sooner.

  • Unless they decide to make a Fresh Prince reboot. Come to think of it, the sooner the better.

  • its called bleach

    thats a good question emperor. how exactly does the dark side of the force let you stop ppl from dying?

  • Sully

    Why? Why would you say that?

  • TheManHole

    Before he can tell you that you must first kneels before monster mash, and pledges your loyalty to the graveyard smash.

  • Sully

    I like everything better when it’s called Slaughtered Vomit Dolls.

  • Like Icare

    So it could crash and burn sooner?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Basically Disqust is a crapsack shoestring bucket of hate that runs on a commodore 64.

  • Because it will fail faster than you can sing ‘Now’ in the ‘Now this is the story all about how / My life got flipped, turned upside down’ in the theme song burying both of their careers forever.

  • Debatable.

  • TheManHole

    Lucas should have sold the rights to Star Wars to Happy Madison.

  • TheManHole

    That’s my boy could be the follow up to Empire. It’s going to be great.

  • tOmy`

    I am starting to miss them. We should call to arms!

  • Sully

    I was just reading through some posts on Facebook and I came across a comment on a friend’s photo. I don’t know the commenter, but I’m wondering if anyone else thinks this is as funny as I do.

    http://i.imgur.com/DF0Rmya.jpg

  • TheManHole

    Muuuuuuurrrrrrrrrdddddddeeeeeeerrr!

  • Domo

    Well, a Praying Mantis is better at murdering life forms than those little kids in Bloody Birthday.

    Plus a Mantis won’t judge if you like to dance while undressing with your cute feather boa.

    They won’t invite crazy clowns to your birthday party, either.

    They’re awesome little creatures compared to murdering children.

  • Sully

    Feather boa, eh?

  • Domo

    Unless you’re Jack, then it’s gym socks tied together.

  • Sully

    Gym socks, eh?

  • Palpatine

    It doesn’t. I just made that up to fool Anakin into joining the Dark Side.

  • Robotpals

    It’s stylistically designed to be that way.

  • Sully

    T’would never happen. Will Smith can only fail upwards. The most we can hope for is his offspring choosing a new line of work (i.e. quietly living off their parents’ money).

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “You never see them, they hide behind the couch etc. but they kill all the insects in your house” was the funniest part to me. Like, if they didn’t hide behind the couch etc. they wouldn’t be killing all the bugs?

  • Domo

    If Jack could make a boa out of 8 bit games, he totally would.

    But since that would be difficult, he’s stuck with good old-fashioned gym socks.

  • Sully

    8-bit games, ehhhh? Okay I give up. This is getting less and less sexy by the second.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    A lot of the time I only skim through these posts but I still like them. Honest, with an ‘H’.

  • Larry

    Thanks. Had a fun night watching Fright Night II. It was worth every circle I ran around the willow at midnight. Didn’t know ravens could sing that well…

  • instant relief

    Can you read that long post to me? I’m illiterate.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes.

  • Sully

    Also funny.

    What struck me as humorous was the plethora of typos and grammatical mistakes, yet he chose to correct just the one.
    I mean we’re all guilty of making mistakes from time-to-time (Andrew), but… I don’t know. I nearly choked on my tea.

  • instant relief

    Thank you for treating me so kind, oh my acrobatic reader.

  • TheManHole
  • instant relief

    Rewind, selektah!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Another funny: He didn’t realize that by filling his house with praying mantises, he ends up with a house full of bugs.

    And I’d argue that Andrew is worse than this guy.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *leader

    Wait, am I stepping into tOmy’s territory now?

  • Sully

    True, but Andrew doesn’t correct his posts, which is kinda cute and endearing.

    This guy also didn’t realize that there’s an “edit” feature on Facebook.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s what drives my nuts. I mean: It drives me nuts.

  • Sully

    Was it the case that they gave you?

  • Sully

    You were right the 1nd time.

  • Domo
  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Informative and applicable PSA.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I asked the same thing on Facebook:

    Which is better: True Detective or Breaking Bad?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Breaking Bad. In every possible aspect.

  • tOmy`

    While I don’t think it’s totally fair to compare them, even I will have to side with Breaking Bad.

  • Palpatine

    You’re goddamn right.

  • Bubs

    The Wire.

  • tOmy`

    Damn straight.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “Gabba, gabba, hey! We accept you. One of us! One of us!”
    http://tinyurl.com/nstec3k

  • Palpatine

    You’ve seen Freaks too?

  • TheManHole

    Yeah I be down for that just how freakishly deformed are you?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Of course! I love Todd Browning movies.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Only in profile.

  • Palpatine

    Which classic Universal horror movie from 1931 do you prefer, Dracula or Frankenstein?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Well, I always thought Frankenstein, but I’ve warmed in recent years to Dracula. It’s a toss-up between those two.

    But, no contest, BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN is one of my four or five all-time favo(u)rites.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m waiting for someone to answer:

    Yes.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Both.
    DAMMIT!
    Yes.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Which one do you prefer?

  • TheManHole

    Can we just get a new program called something like “Nerd Rambling” and it’s just Mike going on about episodes of Star Trek?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    What are you doing slumming on facebook when you could be here, refereeing wrestling matches?

    Also, Hey, Mitch! What’s for suppah?

  • Judge Frownyface

    A podcast of episode commentary tracks.

  • Palpatine

    I prefer Frankenstein.

  • Niccageshair

    Found this from the Sony email hack speaking about Pixels earning potential:

    “As we discussed on yesterday’s call the combination of a commercial director, the potential upswing in Adam’s box office appeal post 2014’s rom/com, big special effects and a good script I am in agreement that we are looking at a big holiday event film rather than a Adam Sandler traditional comic release.

    Based on these facts and my reading of the script I do believe Bedtime Stories plus is a appropriate benchmark for Pixels.
    With its references and use of classic games the script really does have a charm, the dialogue is genuinely funny and it should be visually stunning.
    S Spielberg from El Segundo was right it does have the potential for great VFX and humor.”

  • Alex Lee

    From the makers of TASM 2!

  • Niccageshair

    I was PA on TASM 2 while they shot parts of the opening chase in Rochester, NY. You could feel the soullessness of it.

  • TheManHole

    Gross.

  • Niccageshair

    More from the Sony Hack apparently the third act was a first person shooter sequence on the mothership but was replaced with Donkey Kong. That actually seems like a good rewrite to avoid DOOM flashbacks(although that was the only original sequence in that POS movie)

    “please read page 100 to 114 of the attached draft before our meeting. This replaces the first person shooter on the mothership with a Donkey Kong game come to life. To me, it feels more in keeping with the tone of our script. Rights might however be a challenge.”

    “So per the production meeting last week, we worked on a new version of ACT 3 replacing the First Person Shooter stuff with making Donkey Kong in the Ship the focus”

  • Niccageshair

    The most telling line from the Sony Emails about Pixels “Still, the only way to get to the target will be for Adam and Chris to substantially reduce their cash. Adam’s not quite there yet.”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    GAWD, people in the industry really talk like that!

  • Bubs

    In a world where honesty prevails, those script notes would actually read something like this:

    “Please read page 100 to 114 of the attached draft before our meeting. This replaces the first person shooter on the mothership with a Donkey Kong game come to life. To me, this feels like a more well-known IP that will surely bring in the 30-something male demographic and the 20-something female demographic who have undoubtedly ‘heard of that’. Getting the rights might cost us a bit more, but I’m sure once they smell money, it’ll be a cinch.”

    “So per the production meeting last week, we worked on a new version of ACT 3 replacing the First Person Shooter stuff with making Donkey Kong in the Ship the focus, I’m sure we’ll be rolling in cash by the end of the year. Sincerely, Rick Berman”

  • TheManHole

    I’m shocked they show as much respect as they do to their audience.

  • Sully

    But we didn’t even get to see her 8-bits?

    Get it? Get it? Do you get it? 8-bits as in ate bits as in bits of food! Get it?

    http://i.imgur.com/LGb3TYL.gif

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I resemble that remark.

  • omitted

    Yeah, damn them all to hell. Wait, what?

  • Like Icare

    You know what else rids your house of bugs? RAID!

    Get the quick acting low irritant kind. It’s in the blue can. You’d need about 6 cans…

  • Sully

    Yes. It’s all very corporate, which is precisely the fucking problem.

  • omitted

    I guess a decent fucking is too much to ask around these parts. One cums before I can even get into it and other has such a limp dick it doesn’t even go in. And the Manhole was empty when I visited just now.

  • Palpatine

    Let’s go to Jurassic World and kidnap Owen and Clarie, what do you say?

  • Niccageshair

    Reading through the emails it seems like they are genuinely trying make something good. Unfortunately they were stuck with Sandler.

  • Niccageshair

    Berman!? I was sure it was a Bruce Vilanch rewrite.

  • omitted

    I’m game if you are.

  • Palpatine

    You have no idea how game I am!

  • JAGUART

    “But they had cake” – Rich Evans

  • Niccageshair

    And in other news Channing Tatum is out of Gambit movie. Does anyone care?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Nope.

  • instant relief

    Aaaah, the thingie wants me to install Windows 10. I think the end is nigh.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    S Spielberg from El Segundo did say it had potential.

  • TheManHole

    Maybe he was afraid of suffering the same fate as Hugh Jackman, and being force to play the same role for 20 movies. Then again who would turn down that pay train?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Is it my imagination or are all the forced updates recently Bill Gates’ way of forcing me to buy Windows 10?

  • instant relief

    You don’t need to buy it. It’s free if you already own 7 or 8 and that’s what scares me the most.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Hugh Jackman has milked that gravy train right up to the point he’s aged out of the Hollywood casting demographic. From here on out for Hugh, it’s nothing but EXPENDABLES and b!tch!ng about Chris Pratt taking all his roles.

  • TheManHole

    Skynet confirmed.

  • TheManHole
  • instant relief

    Argh, I don’t know what to do. On the one hand I am kinda curious to try it, but on the other hand my current Windows 7 installation runs just fine and I don’t wanna mess with that.

  • Niccageshair

    They’ve come a long way

  • Duckler

    Aww, It’s cute when these guys hate the things that most other people hate. But they do it better somehow

  • Duckler

    Better than the Bill Cosby way of forcing you to do stuff, amirite folks?

  • TheManHole

    What are you talking about this is GOLD!

  • Duckler

    “Windows 7 runs just fine”.. Ha!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    ♫ There’s good times and bad times, but mostly bad ♫

  • Niccageshair

    At this point I think everyone is bitching about Chris Pratt taking their roles

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    He’s CHARMING!

  • instant relief

    It does, that is one of the reasons I never bothered with 8.

  • Duckler

    Hey now, 8 has nothing to do with 7. Eight is an abortion. Feel free to update that Seven. No snark

  • instant relief

    If there was a Hollywood reboot of RedLetterMedia Chris Pratt would play Rich Evans, because.

  • TheManHole

    I have windows 8 and can confirm rather have cancer.

  • instant relief

    It seems tho that with the user interface they’re going back to the old ways. At least if you’re using it on a PC. For Tablets and Smartphones you still get the Metro UI with the tiles.

  • TheManHole

    Omg I want to see this now would play Mark and Jim?

  • Niccageshair

    He’s FUNNY!

  • instant relief

    Dont you mean Mike and Jay?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Eh. He’s charming.

  • Sully

    You mean, other than pure fucking bliss?

  • TheManHole

    Plinket killed Mike and Jay it was posted on RLM so its cannon.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    They were going by Mark and Jim, but they can return to 9/11 since Plinkett killed those other guys.

  • Niccageshair

    I’m sorry I spoke too soon. That lost episode touched my heart.

  • instant relief

    He’s phuny!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You said a bunch of stuff there that I don’t understand. I DON’T UNDERSTAND!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hi, Charlie!

  • instant relief

    Oh, I guess I never pay attention to the storyline, I just mindless shove potatoe chips in my face while watching their videos.

  • Sully

    Hugh Jackman is talented enough to act his way out of type-casting. Tatum Channing has a long way really fucking long way to go.

  • instant relief

    You need some cereal education, bra!

  • Palpatine

    I don’t t even know what a Gambit is?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You need money, Pixels at this rate probably won’t even make it’s budget back.

  • Niccageshair

    That charm goes a long way, I rather watch him than almost any other big summer movie actor

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey, Charlie, when is your next movie?!

  • Duckler

    I broke everything and I’m sorry.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    My favo(u)rite episode is where Mr. and Mrs. Grabowski both realize they have a substance abuse problem, AT THE VERY SAME TIME.
    [Laugh track]

  • Duckler

    Your avatar is pretty. Please take my spot on the top 20 losers.

  • Niccageshair

    Hello I’m Charlie today but you never know what Nic Cage’s Hair will be day to day it’s an enigma

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    A device, action, or opening remark, typically one entailing a degree of risk, that is calculated to gain an advantage.

    Or, a Marvel comics X-Men.

  • Palpatine

    I want a season 6 of that with Bryce Dallas Howard as Honey Grabowski.

  • Niccageshair

    Whenever Spike Jonze and Cage returns my call

  • Bubs

    You’ve never seen the Grabowskis? They’re literally posted right at the top of this site. What other wonders are you missing out on?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Nic Cage’s Hair grows on a mind of its own.

  • TheManHole

    My gawd there is MOAR you say?

  • Sully

    (In chess) an opening sacrifice for the sake of compensating advantage, usually a pawn, as in, “These men are pawns.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Season 6 with music by Karen O

  • Niccageshair

    Well the last time it was a southern man who lost studios over a billion dollars

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I think they’re wonderful.

  • Sully

    So much more!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Spike and I talk a lot.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A Hollywood cash grab

  • Sully

    With reappearing guest, Jessica Chastain.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    ♪ Southern man
    better keep your head
    Don’t forget
    what your good book said ♪

  • Niccageshair

    Seriously tell him to call me I have an idea that both changes reality and comments on the reality it changes. It will be my masterpiece.

  • Sully
  • Wizard Phoenix

    And porn star Amber Waves

  • Niccageshair

    Once he lost his money Nic Cage also lost control of his hair. It’s a sad story that happens to a lot of bright stars.

  • Bubs

    Whether consensual or not, men only have sex with women to belittle them. That’s why I always start my intercourse sessions with a good cry, and finish with a poem about my mother. This way the woman doesn’t feel that I’m trying to damage her integrity, while I’m ramming my ***** up her **** and **** all over her face.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You had to specify “porn star,” as if, with that name, we wouldn’t have known.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s doing theater, I don’t know what he’s doing as his next film but said I am his first choice.

  • Sully

    Don’t sully Bryce and Jessica, Wizard. I’m warning you.

    I’M AWARE IT’S MY NAME!!!

  • Niccageshair

    Thanks I needed this. I live next to Jared from Subway and he also touched my heart.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about Julianne Moore instead of her?

  • omitted

    That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever read.

  • Sully
  • Sully

    Did he use a 6 inch or a footlong?

  • omitted

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!111

  • omitted

    *hard-on

  • Niccageshair

    Theater!? is that what he calls hanging out with the jackass guys? This is so typical. I need to go daydream for 5 hours.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about the lady I wanted to stranded on a planet on with, Anne Hathaway?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe you can erase your memory of him

  • Sully

    Depends. Short-haired Hathaway or long-haired Hathaway?

  • Palpatine

    Only redheads!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Both

  • Niccageshair

    Footlong and the sub of the month special. Didn’t even splurge for a premium sub.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Total Raisin Bran

    #AllINeed2Know

  • Sully
  • Niccageshair

    Of who?

  • Sully

    I’ll allow Palpy to review the redheaded Anne link and break the tie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Everybody’s gotta learn some time, Charlie.

  • Sully

    That son-of-a-bitch!!!

  • Palpatine

    Who is that?

  • Sully

    Whaddaya mean, “Who is that?”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    She’s sexy.

  • Bubs

    I feel like an alien sometimes. I don’t find BDH or Jessica Chastain all that attractive. They both look like they were manufactured at a “Pretty Actress Factory” and rolled off the assembly line after being designed by a team of scientists to appeal to “men everywhere”. Their artificiality is a huge turnoff. Real women only please.

    http://media3.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/photo/gallery/100923/GAL-10Sep23-5834/media/PHO-10Sep23-254430.jpg

  • Palpatine

    That ain’t my Clarie Bear, that’s for sure!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Isn’t that a small child?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    We can do better…

    http://tinyurl.com/oqvns3q

  • Sully

    That’s redheaded Anne Hathaway. The loophole that allows Wizard another picking. Though I told him it was up to you to decide.

  • omitted

    *men

  • Bubs

    I guess you prefer your women more plastic:

    http://fun-brainiac.com/Pics/Misc/Plastika/amandalepore.jpg

  • Sully

    I’ll allow it.

  • Palpatine

    I’ll allow it.

  • Sully

    …and a boy?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Both

  • Sully

    That’s not a woman, Bubs. I’m not even sure it’s not a CG nightmare.

  • Palpy, you’re getting predictable.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Plus, she can totally do an American accent, so she’s bi-lingual.

    She can talk dirty to you in TWO languages you can understand.

  • instant relief

    Who cares for her hair as long as she’s wearing her Catwoman outfit.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Even more so than me with my Karen O comments

  • KILL IT WITH FIRE.

  • Bubs

    http://cdn.zmemusic.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/click_karen_o.jpg

    You think this guy is attractive, and not Carey Mulligan? I’m going to assume you have a closet full of gay fantasies. Dr. Omitted will be right in to see you.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Oooh. Karen O. slam!

    Now it’s OWAN!

  • Niccageshair

    I wonder if he knows the other S Spielberg?

  • Bubs

    Why do I need painkillers when I can just fuck the pain away?

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, no offense Bubs, but I think Caitlyn Jenner is more attractive than her.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Excuse me but sexy is subjective.

    http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/18400000/Karen-karen-o-18400736-300-400.jpg

    Also so is films like Pixels.

  • Sully

    He’s a dead villain. If he weren’t predictable, he’d still be alive.

  • Hubba-hubba.

  • Palpatine

    Deal with it.

  • Bubs

    Hey whatever you’re in to, I won’t judge.

  • I heard she’s a terrible person, though. Which is a shame.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Carey Mulligan is like the girl who’d make a good, non-sexual friend, who I could talk to when I wanted to cry about Gillian Anderson never even looking at guys like me, and she’d, like, totally understand.

  • Well, her catwoman outfit sucked.

  • omitted

    Stop being such a lesbian, Pa.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Palpy does not give one shit. Not a single shit given.

  • Bubs

    Who cares? As long as she stops ruining EVERY FILM she is in.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It’s been awhile since you’ve been mad at me, bud, and I’m afraid this maybe gonna be one of those times, but that’s not one of Karen’s best photes. Definite Marilyn Manson vibe, there.

  • Bubs

    Well, since you’re a grandpa, it makes sense for you to like old women too, so I get it.

  • Sully

    Yeah, Carey’s cute. She’s just not my type. As you said, she has that friend zone (male edition) look to her.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Look her up on Letterman

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Mick Jagger just smiles, and fingers Carey Mulligan.

  • Bubs

    I don’t have x-ray vision… but there’s a dick under that dress.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No one insults my Karen!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Bubs, she’s actually pregnant right now, you insensitive dick.

  • Niccageshair

    Oh and since I finally joined this board after being a longtime RLM fan I think I have to do this:

    WHERE IS THE PLINKETT YOU HACK FRAUDS!?!?!?

    feels good to get that off my chest

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I have started to write a highly dramatized screenplay about RedLetterMedia and how they came to be. I don’t have a title yet but I want Jon Brion to do the music.

  • He should be careful, he might break his fingers at this age.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes

  • Sully

    Just don’t make a habit of it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Tuesday.

    Chrissy! I hate Newbs. (jk)

  • Bubs

    It’s all part of an elaborate plot to destroy the jedi trick the world into believing he’s a woman. That, or medical science has advanced further than I thought!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    He’s got nine others.

  • Sully

    And probably really long toes.

    http://replygif.net/i/132.gif

  • Palpatine

    Who’s your cast?

  • Bubs

    Elaine May is going to play Rich Evans.

  • Niccageshair

    This will be my one and only time plus I have a feeling one may be coming around December 18 this year. Just a hunch

  • Niccageshair

    Elaine May is a pawn

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So far in my script I see Jay played by Spike Jonze and Mike should be played by I think me, Joaquin Phoenix. Rich I’m thinking Christian Bale

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    @ Andrew Thompson Sorry about the dust-up today. You know if someone were going on and on about you being a cunt, I’d be the first to defend you, too.

    Just sose you know where I was coming from, the site was unavailable from around 12:30 to 1:30 PM USA EST today, and Jaws was nowhere in sight.

  • Palpatine

    What about Jessi?

  • Sully

    That doesn’t fall on a Tuesday. You are new here.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Because Rich sometimes mumbles?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Bryce Dallas Howard or Amy Adams, but I’m not sure yet because I have not gotten to them yet.

    <