Half in the Bag: Oblivion and The Lords of Salem

April 25, 2013269 Comments

After burying the body of Mailman Tommy, Mike and Jay discuss the sci fi action film Oblivion, directed by the guy responsible for everyone’s favorite movie, Tron: Legacy. They then discuss the horror film The Lords of Salem, directed by the guy responsible for everyone’s OTHER favorite movie, the Halloween remake.

Filed in: General UpdatesHalf in the Bag

  • Lionel Bee


  • Andrew Rathburn

    Thank you!! I was beginning to have withdrawals.

  • jar jar lanister

    jay barely kept a straight face in the intro :d half in the bag is great!

  • Review more interesting films!!

  • thejerkstorecalledagain

    Wheres my Plinkett commentary track of Baby’s Day Out? Hack frauds.

  • jay trying to keep a straight face after that “transition” was great

  • tkwelge

    Jesus, I feel like I just took a shit after 2 weeks of constipation. Well, I can’t complain, i need to donate more. Everybody give these guys more money so they make more videos.

  • Mauri383

    I’m gonna call Phil!

  • Matt

    About time you hacks released this thing

  • is mailman “tommy” and implication that you murdered tom cruise?

  • JVCFelix

    Tom Cruise never elevates material? I would say OFTEN doesn’t elevate material, but to be fair…Magnolia, Interview with the Vampire, (don’t make fun of me but) Rock of Ages, definitely Tropic Thunder…that may be all I can think of.

  • Dibbity-Dobs

    “who’s gonna repair his marriage?”

  • Daniel Day Lewis

    Cruise’s best performance was probably in Magnolia. He’s the highlight of that film (his small, but effective role in Tropic Thunder is also worth mentioning). I also enjoyed his performance in Eyes Wide Shut, even if it’s not exactly revelatory (likewise for Kidman).

    Barring all of this, he has always, and will always, come off to either large or minor degrees as Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise playing Tom Cruise sells, just like how Mark Wahlberg playing Mark Wahlberg sells. Hence the two headlining generic, forgettable action shlock designed to make a quick buck.

    As actors, they aren’t talented enough, or show the desire, to entirely shed their proverbial skins and become completely different people on screen, ala incredibly talented guys like Philip Seymour Hoffman, Steve Buscemi, and myself.

  • Review Problem Child 2

  • Ianuarius

    It’s funny cos you can’t see the time code in the video.

  • Star Rat

    Yay! Been waiting for your next episode. Love you guys!

  • William Johnston

    Tom Cruise in a nutshell – His career is based on making movies where his character is being chased by people like, or in the same profession as, his character who are trying to kill him.

    Top Gun – Fighter Pilot, other fighter pilots try to kill him.
    Far and Away – Irish Immigrant, other Irish immigrants try to kill him.
    The Firm – Lawyer, other lawyers try to kill him.
    Interview with a Vampire – Vampire, other vampires try to kill him.
    Mission Impossible – Spy, other spies try to kill him.
    Minority Report – Future Cop, other future cops try to kill him.
    Last Samurai – American officer, other american officer tries to kill him.
    Valkyrie – Nazi, other Nazis try to kill him.
    Oblivion – Space archaeologist, other space archaeologists try to kill him.

  • He was excellent in Collateral.

  • playdude92

    Oblivivion was good, but also reminds me, with how little excitiment or enjoyment something is “good” nowadays. It may be fine, but compared to a good ol´ Indiana Jones movie, it´s nothing.

  • Timmycakes

    there’s a bug on ur chest Mike…oop no wait nevermind it’s gone…no wait it’s back again

  • Jim Jarmusch

    You dudes are losing credibility if you like a boring piece of crap like “Oblivion.”

    FUCK THE CARE BORES!!!!!!!!!!!

  • BJB

    Today is a good day.

  • Weird visuals, bad acting and uncomfortable nudity? Sold!

  • Muscle-Horse


  • SomeoneElseTookDude

    Mike Stololololska you hack fraud, stop flaunting your full fulling life of outdoors activities and exercise in my face!

  • Dectilon

    I never saw the first Tron so I wouldn’t know if Tron 2 “ruined” it or not (probably not), but it just felt like wasted potential; like the computer world could have been any random sci-fi backdrop. There’s a game called Tron 2.0 that actually put way more effort into working with the computer programming terminology in an interesting way. Like the physical representation of virus corruption on a program, like the main security officer of the computer is The Kernel and things like that. Wasted potential basically.

  • The Goats Are Coming

    I have a friend who loves to dress as the pope and act little weird while surrounded by bunch of obese grandmothers wearing goat masks. He is a good friend.

  • guest

    A Few Good Men
    Born on the Fourth of July
    Vanilla Sky

  • he’s not a archaeologist, he’s a space applecare technician.

  • Suburban Sasquatsch

    Grooarr Groaarrr

  • m0r1arty

    Feckin’ Care Boars!!

  • Obliviooin or Independence Day 2

  • Czech U. Fax

    For me, Oblivion ruined Tron 2.

  • bwatts92

    tom cruise is amazing in tropic thunder

  • Nana

    Guys, review Silver Linings Playbook! Or any of the Oscar nominees…

  • Czech U. Fax

    Mmm, vanilla ice cream cone.

  • that’s the one movie he acted in.

  • Czech U. Fax

    Do you mean that they should review films that are more interesting than the ones they’ve been reviewing or that these films are interesting and that they should review more of the same?

    I’m so confused.

  • Jake Mandes

    Oh shit, Body Snatchers clip, let me put down my drink.

  • Czech U. Fax

    I finally got my Gorilla Interrupted DVD. I’ve only watched the How Not To video. I feel a little bad for Gilbert Gottfried. It was clear from the beginning that Mike didn’t like him.

  • playdude92 .

    Yes! Exceptionally well made movie too. Disco-scene had better action than any scene in “Oblivion”. Plus: Awesome soundtrack.

  • John

    Jay drinking coffee? Who is this impostor?!

  • Czech U. Fax

    They’re at the VCR repair shop and on the clock, so they have to drink coffee. They can only drink beer on their hourly beer breaks and when they’re out in the field.

  • Ro Kcip A Eman

    Forgot about that one. Really good interplay between himself and Foxx. Me thinks Cruise needs to work with a great director in order to really push himself as an actor.

    Collateral – Michael Mann
    Magnolia – Paul Thomas Anderson
    Eyes Wide Shut – Stanley Kubrick

  • Graceless

    Tron 2 was pretty much a perfect sequel. The main theme was “legacy.” Sam was Flynn’s legacy. So was CLU. Flynn failed to balance his time between them, so he neglected them both. The conflict arose from Sam and CLU vying for his approval. The idea of programs invading the real world is the logical extension of people entering computer world, so it’s perfect sequel material, and CLU’s desire to impose order on the world echoed the Encom “no free software” theme from the opening. All the main characters have an arc. The villains have believable motivations. The way Tron popped up was perfect.

    It was a tight script with amazing visuals and music and I don’t know why it became cool to hate on it.

  • People who think ‘Moon’ was a good movie make me sad.

  • Czech U. Fax

    One of the creepiest scenes in movie history.

  • everyinchofyou

    Interested to see a review of Iron Man 3 from you guys.

  • Marvin Falz

    The design of Tom Cruise’s space ship reminded me of the Naboo space ship in the Phantom Menace. Most parts of the Oblivion trailer reminded me of Attack of the Clones.

  • Always happy to see a new Half in the Bag.

  • The King of Norway

    What took you so long?!… I was on the verge of kidnapping some hookers and force them to sort out three different jigsaws in under an hour…

  • Jawsphobia

    I have tried to watch this several times now. Has anyone else had trouble getting it to play through? It gets as far as talking about “Moon” and then stalls and the Care Boars short begins. Usually I don’t have a problem with the site.

  • Paul

    Are you the same JVCFelix who made those George Lucas cartoons? Because if so… I like you.

  • Handsome Pete

    They’re in that movie?!?

  • Handsome Pete

    Your comment is a lot better without the first three words.

  • Handsome Pete

    Do it better!!

  • Czech U. Fax

    Oh, and when the beer cooler is working.

  • robin

    Oblivion is such a scientology movie…. Comes right out of the book of xenu

  • Harry Potter

    I need my VCR repaired!!

  • adaMAntiumSpoon

    Finally have a four day weekend. Sitting down with some bacon in front of the laptop thinking to myself, “Man, there’s been some big blockbuster movies that have come out recently. Surely Red Letter Media has some insights into this matter.” Thanks for starting my set off with some much needed intelligent, interpretative humour… Farts and titties.

  • Reggie Rock

    High concept sci-fi witha big name actor? What about Solaris?

  • Mark Bisone

    One exception to the Cruise Rule of Playing Tom Cruise in Every Movie is probably the movie where he plays a gay vampire who gets burned alive by that little snaggletoothed bitch. I totally bought him as a gay vampire (natch).

  • Now I Get It

    First time through, the screen went white almost instantly, then the grey exclamation point appeared. Second time, it played without fail, after hitting page refresh. Third time, so far so good. Most of the time I have, like you, no trouble. …All “for whatever reason.”

  • Alex

    When Mike said “and that’s our heroin… no pun intended” I said “no pun intended” simultaneously.

    Welp, that’s my accomplishment for the day!

  • Alex

    Heroin(e) withdrawals?

  • playdude92 .

    Or talk about a subject regarding film, highlighting the “right way” to make films. You know, like Extra Credits (on YT and Penny Arcade TV) do for video games.

    Or talk about shows, your favorite old movies, your favorite soundtracks, etc.

    Or make a podcast about writing/filming/editing movies or whatever the hell you wanna talk about.

    I´d enjoy a lot more RLM “conversation”, you don´t even need to edit it.
    For crap movies a crap stamp is enough.

  • adaMAntiumSpoon

    Because anything based on computers is for nerds. And most hack reviewers like to hate on things they hated back in highschool, like computer nerds (even though most of them were probably nerds themselves).
    I liked Tron Legacy, but didn’t love it. Therefore it was not a perfect sequel since I loved the first Tron so dearly. I felt the main antagonists plot was stupidly unoriginal for a movie that was based in a world built on intelligence and revolutionary technology (and yes I understood that the giant army was interpretive of what a wide scale virus would look like if they were tiny little micro people). Still, like they said, it was very slow in the middle, and the end just wasn’t a big enough pay off for the long wait.

  • Cinema Snob

    You were supposed to review The Host first! And by the way, I’ve waited years for that Mobile Suit Gundam Crossfire review! Is it coming soon?

  • He does seem to build off the visions of “actor-friendly” directors very well. With this, it was a comparatively green visuals-specialised director, which may have been part of it.

  • whishkers

    no love for minority report? he was brilliant in that imo

  • Robbie

    I was just hoping you guys might explain your distaste for Independence Day. I typically more or less agree with your takes on movies but I loved Independence Day. I think it gave the audience everything it wanted from a popcorn, escapist, summer blockbuster.

  • Great white hype

    As I sit here eating my pizza roles I’m reminded of a fun fact. Rob Zombie is a Satanist and a Vegetarian. Wwwhhhaaattt!?!

  • jimbo

    i feel the same way i mean i know independence day is a dumb summer block buster but it does that well and its just a fun movie with some of my favorite actors the only thing that irritates me is that virus is that jeff goldblum whipped up a virus that was automatically compatible with the alien technology

  • Czech U. Fax

    Cruise’s Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder was a role carefully chosen to aid his comeback from his Oprah-couch-jumping meltdown. That role was even more carefully chosen than Scientology’s Stepford-wives-like process that mated Cruise with Katie Holmes, which caused the couch jumping in the first place.

  • Well, it’s a really dumb, yet enjoyable film. I do know many people who hate it though because of it being dumb (They mostly cite the virus, the evil aliens, the masturbation to America, and the acting).

  • Does Tom Cruise age?

  • Bill

    The schtick level is at an all-time low here; not only the amount of parts in-character as the VCR repairmen, but also the use of humor to express things about the movie. Even what have become stock phrases (“would you recommend…”) and the quote of the “B’Gool problem” line were delivered straight.

    Which is all fine. Just an observation.

  • Piccadilly Bledsoe

    What’s that shit all over Jay’s shirt?

  • Piccadilly Bledsoe

    That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard

  • UnShame

    Solaris from 1972 was great

  • Cognitive Schizo

    Yes, I’d like to fill out an application for lightning fast VCR repair, please.

  • pink

    the ending bit had me in tears m8

  • Bob

    What the hell was with the spider on Mike’s coat? After seeing it, I couldn’t stop looking at it.

  • You know what it is

    If you guys want to see original, creative, well made films, get off of your lazy asswallets and go see Upstream Color.

  • Real men, like Jay, bury bodies with snow shovels. I bet he also using nun-chucks as throwing weapons and skateboards on his hands with blow up dolls.

  • Anonymoose

    Are you talking about Lords of Salem or Gorilla Interrupted?

  • House of the Devil is what looked like, Zombie was triying to re create

  • I you never seen the film check it out… House of the devil….. zombie just over played it with the actors. Rob should of just dumb down the actors and made them and insturments of death they would of been alright.

  • TheZaius

    Mark Wahlberg played a different kind of character in The Happening. The movie itself was kinda weird and the writing didn’t help but I thought his performance was interesting just for being different.

  • truth

    These are getting much better. Much better.

  • Mendoza

    you guys should think about a kickstarter to make a new film, just sayin

  • OoklaTheMok

    You yutz’s must never have seen The Color of Money

  • Mendoza

    I agree in a big way. It is up there with Mel Gibson’s beaver movie in terms attempting to gain redemption with the public


    When Jay said to imagine my grandma naked, it brought up some haunting memories…
    I will never look at scrambled eggs the same way again

  • mrbugaw

    A Few Good Men: that one charismatic good guy tries to kill him. Born on the Fourth of July: one wheelchair bound vet tries to off the other, but can’t because they are in wheelchairs with no guns. Magnolia: Other womanizers trying to snuff Cruise because he’s giving away their secrets, essentially thinning the herd. He barely escapes with his black book. Vanilla Sky: Even though he never went to Rekall, Cruise has people on his back all the way to Mars and back. And when it’s all over winning the girl felt like a dream.

  • What?! No!!!

  • JohnnySteps

    No Spring Breakers or Stoker reviews? 🙁

  • jkam

    jay is the sam rockwell of redlettermedia

  • flsesh

    every time careboars

  • CockVanPatten

    I love this show! Best online. I saw that you posted another episode and I got SO happy. Seriously, this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t wait until the next episode. Every day I’ll be checking back in to see if you’ve posted again. Seriously, this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Seriously, this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I had sex with a bird.

  • So I just saw a commercial for Oblivion, and has anyone ever done a video that tracks back the pull quotes they use? Because “best movie of they year” and “a mind-blowing epic” is pretty strong…

  • Jim

    “You ever see that movie, MOON? … That was a really good movie.” That was hilarious and extremely true.

    And Mike’s GROWN UPS 2 line was impeccable.

  • Hellforce

    For me, Oblivion ruined The Elder Scrolls.

  • Tobias

    FUCK YEAH Jodorowsky.. i was thinking the same thing

  • searanox

    Please do not draw inspiration from Extra Credits. It’s reader’s digest crap that takes complex game design and industry problems and sums them up in 5-minute easy-to-watch packages that go into absolutely no detail whatsoever and then tries to redeem itself by saying “but this is a really complex problem and we only scratched the surface” at the end (and they never do more than that).

    I watch RedLetterMedia to see anal assholes nitpicking the shit out of everything, and that’s how it should be. Also, screw hipsters.

  • Grim

    Two weeks ago a friend watched Oblivion and he kinda liked it. Nice visuals and a decent story, he said.

    Last week another friend went to watch it and he said it boring as hell. Hardly surprising though since he’s the action fan.

    This week it’s my turn to watch Oblivion. Really, really wished I had skipped the spoilers but skipping would spoil the HITTS episode.

  • Mike’s body count rising… 😉

  • Tom Cruise was THE best part of Tropic Thunder. Also, Interview With A Vampire was awesome. …ah, nostalgia for the Lost Boys era when vampire movies could be watched by people with testicles and there was no sparkling of any kind…

  • cacalips

    I watched OBlivion pirated by a camera in the theater. I loved it. The production was blurry at the right moments nad hazy and gritty. I thought it was the best sci fi I had seen in a long time. Then I saw the trailer on youtube and the high quality effects took allot of “cool” ness away. So I recommend watching it gritty and pirated.
    I am watching moon right now, half way over. It uses minimal effects to propel it’s slow story. It is a different paced sci fi. The one point I am not liking so far is that they say character is on the moon 3 years and he has the character of a guy marooned on a desert island of 15 years… This short time span of being islated is something I Think catered to mass audiences that dont like to memorize numbers past 3. Even video games, Mass Effect 2, the plot is that hte guy is dead 2 years and him returning, the UNIVERSE is stunned…it is kind of hard to believe, especially since I am gone in college 4 years and do not have the same effect on friends and family or universe as these characters…*shrug*….
    Sci fi is a setting not a plot. Hard to do, only fits good with certain themes and plots. So far horror, action, and comedy work well in space, and of course original star wars putting a spin on love. Where is Roger Wilco?

  • If you want a chameleon actor, how about Samuel L Jackson. That guy will completely metamorph. The only thing he hasn’t done yet is play a white guy, but with Robert Downey Jr (another great actor) going the other way in Tropic Thunder, why not?

  • Basil Rathbone


    Kidding, I know what you meant.
    But seriously Julianne Moore is beautiful.

  • Basil Rathbone

    Whoops, I meant Jay*

  • Basil Rathbone

    Wow never mind I’m a half-asleep idiot.

  • shavo

    When is the next Half in the Bag/Plinkett Review/Best of the Worst?

  • theDissilent

    does he like to masturbate in front of women as well?

  • jaques

    House of the Devil has to be THE WORST movie Ive ever seen in my life

  • HueyTheDoc

    You three guys are the fucking greatest thing in online entertainment, I shit you not sirs.

  • picky

    House of the devil was a BORING MESS. It was AWFUL. It was a long and boring movie about nothing. With some pay off at the end that was not worth it. Lords of Salem is Way better than House of The Devil. And I am not even a big fan of Zombie.
    House of the Devil is one movie I wish I would have never seen, what a waste of brain cells.

  • picky

    I just love how most of the comments in here are about Oblivion, there are barely any comments about Lords Of Salem…
    Seems like no one really cares about watching Lords of Salem in here

  • selden serbrinskovic

    better ask saul.

  • anon

    if you mix this two movies together you have Jack Reacher

  • Robert Bittner

    Independence Day was great, guys!

  • edyed

    “…and he was a good friend.” – Ben Kenobi

  • I’m sure the director wasn’t pleased to have Tom Cruise thrust into the lead role. It’s very hard to enjoy a movie with him now that his dirty laundry has been aired.

  • HueyTheDoc

    If Lords of Salem only cost 2 million to make, Adam Sandler really has a lot to fucking answer for with Jack and Jill and other movies with inflated budgets. They need to stop pretending it costs 60 million dollars to make a movie that isn’t pushing boundaries, like the new Hobbit movies are. Watching The Hobbit in normal 1080p at 24fps, its a great looking movie and some of the CG is pretty mindblowing.

  • Breakfastman

    But the best part is Rich Evans as Breakfast Man. Why bother with Space Cop. I want to see Breakfast Man – The Movie.

  • Hugh Kers

    Sorry, no love here. But that was more due to a fading liking in Spielberg things. Also Tom Cruises Browser Dance, wasn’t actually the best thing in cinema history.
    I liked the first Misson Impossible, though.

  • whatnot

    Oblivion didn’t ruin the Elder Scrolls, fucking DLC did.

  • Jigsaw

    Of course not. I hate trippy and surreal movies so I’m gonna skip that one.

  • Jigsaw

    I’m kinda disappointed that you guys didn’t mention that the name “Jack” is uttered about 528 times throughout the movie. It was really annoying after a while.

  • Josh Clark

    Dear Mike and Jay,

    I think you guys should review some old movies. Movies like Citizen Kane, King Kong, Godzilla, The Maltese Falcon, etc. and talk, rather than “how we have ended up here in cinema” I think you guys (and your fans) would benefit hugely from seeing your opinions on these classic “game-changers.”

    My use of quotations marks is at an “end.”

  • jkam

    jim jarmusch, namesake of the director of “limits of control”, is calling out on other people’s movies being boring????

  • Festus

    Jay trying not to laugh at 00:39 🙂

  • Brack to the Future

    Don’t forget his being Tom Cruise added an extra element of loss to Vanilla Sky. Great movie, elevated by Mr Cruise.

    The man is way ahead of his time, everyone will see in 150 years or so. Trust me, I’m from the future.

  • Anton Telle

    I already saw Oblivion, so I thought, I could watch the spoilers. But then you compare the film to other film I have not seen (Moon, The Island). So in the end I heard spoilers for those movies. Well, this will teach me.

  • Frank T.J. Mackey

    Suck my big fat fucking sausejah!

  • Jigsaw

    If you haven’t seen these movies by now (8 and 4 years later) then you deserve to be spoiled, because you have no intention to actually watch them. Oh, and by the way: Leo DiCaprios character dies at the end of Titanic and Kevin Spacey is Keyser Söze.

  • Rocketboy1313 .

    I love the near corpsing at the :38 mark, I have had to do the pull-in-the-cheeks and stick-out-the-tongue methods to keep from blasting laughter.

  • George_Liquor

    Hey, speaking of movies that Michael Bay ripped off wholesale in order to make The Island, who around here has seen Parts: The Clonus Horror?

  • lz

    oblivion didn’t made me want to kill myself, but it isn’t worth a ticket.
    you can have actually fun with this movie, because you will not realize how weak the story is until credits

  • kimozabi

    I saw that too. It was great 🙂

  • Archie Bunker

    Stoklasa, you hack fraud! Not to sound ungrateful, but you guys are clearly at your best when tying up shitty movies in the basement and gassing them with bug spray (the odorless one, of course). These middle-of-the-road reviews are neither as funny nor memorable. I still go back and watch that Jack and Jill review from time to time.

  • guest

    And how exactly are they supposed to know if a movie’s terrible or not before they see it? They even state at the beginning of the Jack and Jill review that you love so much that they had no idea they would end up having so much to talk about.

    Not to mention the fact that they clearly have no interest in just being guys on the internet that hate on everything. You’re taking your personal (and limited) taste in what they do out on them.

  • DumbGuy

    I tried to call Phil.

  • Andy S

    Who doesn’t?

  • Just watched Lords of Salem, and I really enjoyed it despite it’s flaws. I probably wouldn’t have heard about it or payed any attention to it if not for you guys, so thank you!

  • Mark Bisone

    While Cruise was very good in Magnolia, he was still playing Tom Cruise there: A slaphappy, closeted weirdo cult leader who scams money off suckers by pretending to know some great secret about life. He was just better at playing himself in that movie than ever before.

  • Guest

    I was really put off by The Devil’s Rejects, but I will give this one a chance.

  • Mark Bisone

    Yeah, there was absolutely nothing effeminate about “Interview with the Vampire”, a story by a woman who got her start writing homoerotic porno books. Near the end when Goth Antonio Banderas declares his love for Puffy Shirt Brad Pitt while gazing longingly into his eyes, it’s a 100%, hi-octane testosterone fest on par with “Rambo: First Blood Part II” and “The Great Escape.”

  • Dammit! I don’t even like Rob Zombie, and I thought his Halloween was complete shit. But you two frauds have convinced me to give Lords of Salem a try.

    I think I’m gonna pass on Oblivion, though. I can’t stand Tom Cruise.

  • adamtucker42

    In reference to The Island – have you guys seen Parts: The Clonus Horror?

  • I went and watched Moon after this video… I wish America was deemed smart enough to have had it widely released. It was amazing… The sets and models were good, the acting was good, the plot was good, it left you guessing about the ending till the end, AND it only cost 5 million dollars to make. I wish I could have seen it on the big screen. Thanks redlettermedia for exposing it to me!

  • Lords Of Salem was boring from beginning to end…i’m surprised either one of you liked it…even Jay said it had a very slow start and that the middle dragged on! the ending was flat too…Jay is right tho that Devil’s Rejects is good…Rejects is genuinely creepy and horrifically violent….see that on dvd instead of wasting your time and money on Lords Of Salem

  • You think there is nothing effeminate about Interview? Very strange. I think it is somewhat distinctive in this regard. I have to disagree about your assertion comparing it to Rambo; really a different kind of movie.

  • Moses

    It ruined Tron! Then you show that pic and it snaps me right back into reality, thank you.

  • A Guy

    I just saw Rosemary’s baby, on netflix. I only have one question, spoiler if you haven’t seen it.
    When did the husband go bad, right after the first dinner?

  • If you wanna see some weird retro visuals I recommend “Beyond the Black Rainbow”


  • Was that opening take the best they could get out of Jay?
    What hacks!

  • jic1

    Wait, so if a movie is more than four years old, it’s OK to spoil them because anybody who hasn’t seen them yet has “no intention to actually watch them”? I mean, it’s not like hundreds of movies are released every year, and that most people have work, responsibilities, and other interests that stop them from getting to see every one they might want to within four years of release…

    Now, there are some ‘spoilers’ that are so well known that they are part of popular culture, and don’t have to be avoided (eg Norman Bates is actually ‘Mother’, ‘Rosebud’ is Charles Foster Kane’s childhood sled, the chick from *The Crying Game* is a dude), but everything else should be treated just the same as if the movie is a new release.

    Having said that, I don’t think the review actually contained any spoilers for *Moon* or *The Island*.

  • jic1

    It was great and crappy at the same time. It’s perfect big-budget schlock, but it’s still schlock.

  • Brack to the Future

    Have you considered replacing that oem sarcasm monitor? It’s not as sophisticated as some of today’s best commentators. Also, your metaphor system appears to be entirely non-functional.

  • jic1

    If *Solaris* (2002) had been made in 1992 with the same cast on a $1M budget as a DTV movie, and I’d caught it on TV in the middle of the night with no expectations, I’d have thought it was great. As a big(ish)-budget movie with a big(ish)-name star that I actually paid to see, it wasn’t anything special.

    By the way, you seem to think that “high concept” means intellectual, but it actually means that you can effectively explain the movie’s premise in a line or two (‘there’s a bomb on a bus, and if the bus slows to less than 50 miles an hour, it blows up!). I don’t think that applies to *Solaris*. That’s not to say that high concept movies are necessarily stupid, or that movies that can’t be summed up as easily are smart.

  • tjp77

    Devil’s Rejects was a GREAT freaking movie. House of 1000 Corpses was entertaining and weird, but Devil’s Rejects was just flat-out awesome on every level. Can’t believe Mike hasn’t seen it.

  • Mark Bisone

    These are all great points, Biggs.

    Hey, have you ever seen Gilligan’s Island? Those poor people. Such a sad show.

  • chief

    Call phil!!!!!

  • Grue

    Yes Jay, you really love cheap horror movies. We get it. Stop telling us week after week after week.

  • Ruben Garcia Marrufo

    Sup guys, i really like the reviews and i want to take advantage that you talked about sci fi movies and i wanted to recommend a modern sci-fi movie by Panos Cosmatos called Beyond the Black Rainbow. It is a unique movie experience.

  • Birk Birkebeiner

    See Devils Rejects!

  • are you getting paid for being so nice to such a boring and no-profile-at-all-movie aka Oblivion? who is it, who’s threatening you? i felt deeply insulted when i left the cinema! and for god’s sake, stop gossiping about tom cruise, he’s just a bloody acteur with extremely short legs damnit!

  • ded

    So Mike has only ever seen Star Trek movies.

  • Marvin Falz

    That pic made me realize that Moses in the South Park episode Jewbilee is modeled after the Master Control Program in Tron.

  • dnzo

    Mike and Jay failed to mention one of the best things about Oblivion… it isn’t in 3D.

  • You sure like to spray em out like a dog with a leaky valve on a fenceline. I think your issue isn’t with people’s opinions of movies… probably something a little less superficial, but I don’t really care, so go ahead and keep on spammin.

  • G

    Rain Man? Cocktail? Eyes Wide Shut?

  • slicing_eyeballs

    I know. what is that careboars thing anyway – it’s creepy as fuck

  • Dixon Bawls

    I was in Iraq for 14 months, and it felt like three years. I think that’s the point they were driving at in “Moon,” not ‘big numbers are hard to memorize.’

  • Paul

    When I saw Oblivion I thought of The Elder Scrolls game.

  • Tom

    Jay’s sudden bursts of high-pitched giggling complete me.

  • spinachleaf

    I am surprised that you talked about a science fiction movie with Tom Cruise and not mention Minority Report which, I don’t mean to be be controversial, is pretty fucking great and Cruise gives a blazing performance.

    Don’t tell me that it’s a film you haven’t seen?

  • theflickfan

    does anyone else just see “blip” where the video should be? I can’t figure out how to play it. Help?

  • Mark Bisone

    Look, I’m not trying to win a Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, here. I just like talking about great “guy” movies with fellow obscure metaphor-lovers, and occasionally giving free advice. I spray out advice like a snowman on fire with a jug of rye whiskey sittin’ on a fenceline in Boog Powell’s backyard in April.

  • JeR*Me!!

    Jay is such a badass, he can bury a body with a snow shovel

  • Only Half Pig

    Stop feeding us this pig slop

  • Stupid Kids

    Wait, THAT was the best cut you got out of Jay in the beginning?!?

  • MST3KomeonGuys

    The Island? Don’t you mean PARTS: The Clonus Horror

  • Pete Zaroll

    I love Half in the Bag, but the streaming from the site / server / blip player could suck a golfball through a garden hose. Can’t you cross-post on Youtube anymore?

  • adaMAntiumSpoon

    No one should be talking about that heap called Tropic Thunder. Especially with “THE best” in the same sentence. For this implies there were other good parts in the movie, in which there were none. No best. No gooder. Yes shit. Lots of shit.

  • adaMAntiumSpoon

    Are you referring to his seemingly non-existent aging factor? In that 150 years from now he will look the same?

  • adaMAntiumSpoon

    Cruise needs a “character” to play. Not a cut-out of an ideal lead hero or pro-tow-gone-ist. Someone that reacts differently to situations that are in fact different. I smell type cast.

  • adaMAntiumSpoon

    If anything, that fat fucking obnoxious clown in Tropic Thunder did nothing but deflate, not elevate. Like a hot air balloon, drifting off slowly, slowly, losing altitude… point is, no one gives a fuck about hot air balloons.

  • spinachleaf

    The role may have been artificially inserted into the movie but, for all that, it’s one of the funniest things in the show, I’d say.

  • Brack to the Future

    Let me look it up … It says here “in October 2054 a near-Earth object misses the planet but is influenced by the gravity of Earth’s then-moon, Luna. A series of cataclysmic collisions lead to the breakup of Luna and the uninhabitability of Earth’s natural biosphere. Despite many long-term shelters across the planet, none can provide for seven years of fire, ice and permanent dark of night. Earth’s inhabitants are on the edge of extinction.” There’s a lot here about Mr Cruise. Apparently, in 2013 he saw a movie called Melancholia and was so moved that he began amassing people and technology to build an off-planet lifeboat system. He was successful, and now many of Earth’s inhabitants call themselves by the surname “Bartom”or bar Tom. Effectively, the sons of Tom.

  • Preacherman

    I realise, that I can easily look over an artist, actor or musician being a drug-addict, or whatever. I still can listen to the music or watch the movies, if they are good.

    On the other hand, I can’t forgive somebody being in Scientology. That is an instant sympathy-killer and usually associated with all his/her body of work.

  • Jon Benjamin in Jon Benjamin Has a Van already did a similar 911 gag.

  • Kviii

    Change your profile picture you goddamned retard.

  • jeramy smith

    Let me put on my Mr. Plinkett hat and explain why this movie was so bad.

    1. Bubblegum doesn’t fix circuit boards in modern electronics. Nor will it in a future. This wreaked of “Hey, Director, This is Tom, I should fix something with chewing gum”. “Tom, chewing gum won’t exist.” “Hey, Fuckface, We need to relate to the audience. Also, I will wear a yankees cap. New Yorkers will love it.”

    2. The drone that kills his female partner clone (who is standing right in front of him) somehow doesn’t shoot him at the same time (did I mention drone behavior and power is completely inconsistent?), then takes a stroll right up to him to actually shoot him too. This scene is painfully bad.

    3. He can’t turn the ship around when it is being pulled in by the alien ship even with his rockets on, but he can eject the sleep capsule?????????

    4. His self-sacrifice means nothing since another clone got to walk off into the sunset with the girl. This screams of Tom Cruise creative input. Everything it meant for him to destroy himself it turned out meant nothing. He had it both ways. Tom Cruise both got to be a martyr and got the happy ending.

    5. This movie was just painfully bad in every way except the aesthetic look. My guess is if you download a pirated CAM copy and lose the aesthetic, it becomes a complete pile of crap. Thank goodness VHS died I guess.

    6. You guess the entire premise right away and there are zero surprises or mysteries. (assuming you watched the trailer as well, which pretty much gives you the clues)

    7. Clone don’t have memories. Cloning doesn’t work that way.

    8. Why do advanced aliens with these cloning powers who have conquered intergalactic travel need to clone Tom Cruise to conquer the planet? The drones seem to work fine. Why isn’t there a drone that repairs drones. Why do the aliens create Tom Cruise a cool motorcycle. A motorcycle actually seems like a terrible thing for that terrain when you essentially have a harrier-hover-go capable tiny flying ship.

    9. Seriously, this movie is soooo dumb.

    10. Why even bother putting the chick back in a sleep pod? Is the premise that the alien intelligence is watching the movie too?

    11. Why did the drones or intelligence not scan the sleep pod? Scanning things is what drones do all the time for their job. The intelligence figures out that Tom Cruise is probably lieing or something. Is the dumbest most gullible alien intelligence ever capable of conquering Earth?

    Go watch Moon instead. This was worse than Prometheus.

  • Rick Rickerson

    Don’t forget Gamestation, you hack!

  • You can skip ahead to 12:10 or 12:06 to skip spoilers, it doesn’t matter.

  • jic1

    “7. Clone don’t have memories. Cloning doesn’t work that way.”

    I haven’t seen the movie, but from what I’ve read about the plot, I’m assuming that they are mass-producing *adult* Tom Cruises, right? I mean, they aren’t sticking his DNA in an egg, implanting it in a woman and waiting 50 years, are they? So, how do you know that a cloning process which is obviously *completely different from the one that currently exists in real life* can’t produce clones with memories?

  • bb-15

    Good point. I assumed that the “memories” in Oblivion were implants. Similar to what was done in Blade Runner and the new Battlestar Galactica.

  • deerstop


  • deerstop

    Whyyy Oblivion holds a rating of 7.2 at IMDB? +_+ I was so boooored. I didn’t want to leave the cinema and go home, like I did during Hobbit, but I didn’t enjoy myself either. Also, the trailer kinda spoiled Oblivion’s plot, don’t you think so?

  • Marvin Falz

    Why should I?

  • Manaconda

    This was awesome as usual, but when are you gonna get off your ass and feed me some more Best of the Worst?

  • Ted R

    Hey, speaking of “The Island”, you guys should check out, “Parts: The Clonus Horror” would make a good candidate for Best of the Worst. Both the above mentioned films are identical in terms of story.

  • Liquidus

    You also can keep listening, because seriously, what’s it gonna spoil for you? The plot isn’t that great.

  • Liquidus

    Aaaans Cop Dog

  • jeramy smith

    His memories didn’t work in his favor for being implanted.

  • Cactus

    I hope they end up reviewing The Purge. It looks like something they would either totally gush over or just be completely numb to it, but not hate it.

  • Gabe Gomez

    Can’t believe you didnt mention star trek 1… and 5. Tom Cruise is basically that bald chick – a cloned machine that has latent memories from the original struggling to get out. And the ship at the end is a V’ger ripoff, including the bif orifice opening… but when it talks, its like the bad ‘god’ from star trek 5.

  • Ok guys, flame me if you wish but I am just going to state an opinion.

    Half in the bag is becoming tedious to watch. I really enjoy the skit comedy, and it’s what keeps me coming back, but the review segments are too long now.

    What really drove this home for me was going back and watching some of the earlier episodes, which were under 10 minutes in length.

    It was great and refreshing! The observations were made more quickly and concisely, the sketch comedy was still there, and I didn’t find myself starting to do something else out of boredom (as I do with more recent half in the bag episodes).

    I realize that you are putting in 2 reviews, but breaking the 30 minute mark… that’s a television time slot. Consider going back to the old model, shorter, sweeter, more frequent, and more focused. I love the sketch comedy, no matter what… but the reviews are MUCH better and you guys are more on top of your game when they are shorter.

  • You were riding your bike and flying kites when House of 1000 corpses debuted? Are you 19?

    Also: Your Titanic Plinket review might be the best one you’ve ever made. Keep that shit up, kids.

  • Highland Commando

    greetings from Scotland. love your videos, keep up the good work.

  • Asashii

    Lords of Salem was a laughabale, bad acting, horrible laughable scene, wanna be Stanley Kubrick Disaster, i wouldn’t wanna wish this film on my worst enemy!!!

  • Disagreeing with the comment left by Art, below: Love this show, and I honestly prefer the thoughtful, intelligent conversation a bit more than the super-wacky zany aspects (though I like those quite a bit too, as they serve as a momentary break/breath of fresh air that lets us refocus our attention on what’s being discussed).
    Either way, I’m inclined to give you a lot of leeway to do whatever you feel like doing; so long as it’s anywhere in the neighborhood of where you’re at now, it’s a hugely entertaining and informative show. Longer segments make me happy, simply because I’m a fan of more information being available.
    Love this show, and basically everything you’ve done.
    Thank you both.

  • Eric Draven

    Adam Sandler’s new movie… In it he plays a con man who is out to make a fake movie an swindle people out of their hard earned money…. oh..

  • Name

    “There were scenes in this movie, and that’s what’s intriguing about it” – Mike Stoklasa, redlettermedia.com

  • I cant wait to see your thoughts on iron man 3… Heres mine: http://confessionsofalonelywizard.blogspot.com/2013/05/just-got-back-from-iron-man-3.html

  • Hey if it’s bad 70s style Sasquatch you want look no further…. http://youtu.be/FJ4Z6RZKbAU

  • Paex18


  • Most of your complaints are valid. My major complaint was that Tom Cruise gives his explanatory narration twice. I got the impression that the setting was supposed to be explained when Tom Cruise tells the story to the Russian girl so that the audience would have to spend the first portion of the movie guessing, but then they added in the narration to the beginning because their test audience complained about not understanding what was going on. Basically they’re treating their audience like they’re stupid.

    But the flaws don’t kill the movie for me. I hesitantly agree with RLM’s recommendation. Oblivion doesn’t even approach the insulting stupidity of Prometheus.

  • TheRedEpic

    I thought it was an excellent rendition of a good science fiction short story. The acting was good, the production value great, twists were twisty, especially with the creation of a dystopian future. Overall i was impressed. Tom cruise was fine, and i don’t think he’s as wooden as everyone says.

  • I like my Sci-fi slow as well (trek fan), and this does come as close as I remember in the past decade. I haven’t seen moon, though, so thanks for the heads up!

  • Austin

    The ship in Independence Day had a bomb too, not just the virus.

  • Kimozabi

    Another awesome video.

    Why didn’t the super advanced alien mothership use it’s scanners to identify the threat? Or just self destruct Tom the minute he reached orbit?

  • Ok! That fire detector in the Fire Safety video – – is that not Jason Alexander??

  • Woo! I was right! lol

  • helioslegion

    To be fair, it’s an alien intelligence with limited knowledge on human phsychology. It is clear that he’s an anomaly after 60 years of iterations. We don’t even know if the AI was originally designed as a warmachine. It could be a self-replicating von Neumann probe designed for exploration that went rogue instead of a Berserker designed to exterminate everything in its pass.

  • thebonesauce

    Okay, to Mike, Jay, or whoever is in RLM that reads these can help me… In a lot of shots where Jay is giving exposition, there’s a flier on the bulletin board in the shop with Phoenix, AZ band Greeley Estates on it. Who in RLM listens to Greeley Estates?!

  • jsmith0552

    guess you’re going to be disappointed.

  • G. Jardoness


    I only mind (all the) allusions to other stories when they’re done badly, or even worse than the original. It was a beautiful picture, mixing the lush natural landscapes and their sterile habitrail habitat.

    I think it should’ve drawn more from “Moon”; The whole human resistance group was unnecessary, and could’ve been accomplished more dramatically in the revelation of killing one ‘scavenger’ straggler/survivor… The story would’ve been tighter, more dramatic, and just as exciting if it’d focused on the three main characters… No time was given to the wife character, who had, ‘awakened’, and found herself inexplicably back on Earth, her husband living with and loving her rival, and neither of them remembering her… There was little tension, investigation, revelation, or even discussion in that whole triangle — Whereas, their piecing together and tearing apart what they know, suspect, and come to find could’ve been tremendous.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    I’m sure I’m not the first to post this but… seriously, what’s with all the *dinging* in the background?! Please use a different background sound-track which doesn’t have it. It’s very distracting from an otherwise excellent production.

  • Sully

    Man of Steel will get a Plinkett review lonnnnnng before Iron Man 3 ever does.

  • Steve

    I don’t care what anyone says. Independence Day was awesome.

  • Joshua Pelfrey

    You should go watch “Pacific Rim”. The similarities are palpable.

  • Mike Jakermen

    Frankly i kind of wonder when Stallone and Schwarzenegger are going to stop doing action movies. I hope they are not 90 years old in walkers still having explosions going off behind them.

  • DualCore Professional Cecor

    Why not?

  • Patrick

    Why would they do that? Iron Man 3 was a decent movie that they thoroughly enjoyed.

  • Collin

    I liked Oblivion, it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t fully original, but it was entertaining and refreshing. It certainly wasn’t the normal schlock that gets churned out.

  • Joshua Barkdull

    This made me want to see a Mr. Plinkett review of Independence Day.

  • Michael Totin

    You guys state that they will never make cerebral sci-fi again shortly after mentioning “Moon”. “Moon” is one of my favorite recent films and I feel that it fits that category. So, were you being facetious, or do you consider “Moon” a stupid film?
    Personally I’m not a fan of “Oblivion” as I also felt that it was hackneyed and obvious. The visuals were nice, but it did lack that single “voice”. It felt like it was a group of people going through the motions to make a movie. And the “Independence Day” ending was disappointing and dumb.
    My favorite Cruise sci-fi/future fantasy film to date has been “Minority Report”. I’d like to see you guys do a retro review of that film.

  • Baron Teapot

    ‘Moon’ is a great little film. Sam Rockwell’s performance was great, especially considering what he had to do (his face responding to something that wasn’t even there) and the small cast.

    It’s a nice double-act (triple-act?), and I was impressed that they didn’t show Kevin Spacey, and he remained a computer throughout the film.

  • this guy who has some brain

    I think they gave just the right amount of screen time and intensity to the love triangle.

    If they had driven that part home further, it would have gotten boring, or felt like a soap opera.

  • this guy who has some brain

    I guess the alien didn’t want to ruin the plot.

  • this guy who has some brain

    If it could suck a golfball through a hose, then that means it is extremely powerful!

  • NPettinato14

    Moon was not heavily advertised. Not as much as the “big, dumb action film.” I think they were talking about big theater releases like the first Star Trek movie. (Not that it’s “cerebral” but an example of slow, methodical sci fi that no longer exists on a large scale.)

  • Michael Totin

    Thanks. I have had many conversations about this subject, and the end conclusion is typically that the higher the budget, the dumber the movie is going to be. It’s sad, but true.

    Moon’s entire budget was less than a third of what most movies spend just on advertising and marketing.

  • TapewormBike

    Both of those trailers had “From the producers of..”. Reagrdless of the quality of the movie, that’s a bit of a red flag for me and it makes it a bit obvious to what kind of crowd they’re trying to sell it to and maybe even what kinda notes was the director given (“Make it like in the other one”)

  • Daniel Bellfield

    just bought and watched MOON. Thank you, Jay!!!

  • FlixtheCat

    You guys loved Lords of Salem but hated Man of Steel? Were Jay and Mike switched by Bizarro versions of themselves or something?

  • TapewormBike

    Could you elaborate? Because as far as Im seeing it, they liked a very much self aware B horror flick, which seems right up their alley and hated a bloated self important carnival ride. I might be, but am not trying to be an asshole, just saying thar from here it seems “legit” (which it is in any case of course, since they can like whatever they want, plus the two movies are basically worlds apart in style, tone, storytelling techniques etc.)

  • FlixtheCat

    Self aware B horror movie my foot. It’s very much a self indulgent piece of crap made by a pretentious douche bag. Give me a break self aware.

  • TapewormBike

    Well, your point is made and I guess I wil have to live with it. I am not gonna argue the quality of the movies again, since we clearly disagree there (nothing wrong with that), but I will say, that “Lords” had element of surprise on its side, while Man of Steel was dragged down by the expectations baggage. Those are both pretty big aspects of reviewing a movie, albeit not related to the actual quality of it.

  • Jordan

    Thanks for stopping by, Mr. Emmerich

  • Billy Nunez

    The hipsters are great, “sooo lame”

  • NotRickBerman

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

    No, their normal versions already have good taste in movies.

  • Cassidy Fitzgerald Liston

    I wasn’t expecting to, but I ended up liking Oblivion. There were a few twists that I didn’t see coming, and the overall arc of the plot felt pretty satisfying. It’s not a perfect movie. The worst part is the canyon chase sequence: the actions of the protagonist don’t make sense in that one scene, and it’s also filmed with these cockpit-shots that are “straight on” and feel really fake.

  • Cassidy Fitzgerald Liston

    Also, this is Tom Cruise type-cast at his “best” ie films like this and Edge of Tomorrow are the most appropriate fits for Tom Cruise. His political-thriller films are terrible. Mission Impossible is hit-and-miss. (That said, his best role might be the terrible misogynist he played in Magnolia. Now THAT’s a performance)

  • Duckler

    I liked it too. I thought it was a nice little pulp sci-fi tale. It is a little too padded for run-time and has almost zero value when it comes to a second viewing, but for a one-time movie night thing… well it’s hardly the worst thing out there.

  • ikdks

    You guys should do The Island vs.Parts: The Clonus Horror.

  • Malevolence

    They give me a creepy jealous of Tom Cruise vibe…

  • Asmodeusz

    “911, we’re busy” – it’s one of best lines ever

  • maggit

    I was surprised to have enjoyed Oblivion. It’s a solid Sci-Fi film.

  • Sam

    They are both from Arizona orginally and I think RLM produced a live DVD about the band back in the day. Wouldn’t of thought they would be into metalcore but I was pleasently surprised..

  • Variant

    It honestly wasn’t bad, I liked the visual style. I just wish it were less predictable.

  • Brett Burrett


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