Half in the Bag: mother!

September 20, 2017361 Comments

Mike and Jay talk about the controversial new film that’s not controversial at all: mother!!!

Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • DRP103

    Mmmm. A fistful of ham. Yum!

  • trojanhorse

    What’s wrong with your face?

  • HorseyFace

    Oh I get it, the house represents the Rothschilds and the people represent the free market and JLaw represents the Federal Reserve see, it all makes sense now.

  • rikkibarnes

    This is why I watch HitB. Because their anal-sis of movies aren’t stupid shit like “I hate this movie because GOD is in it! Fuck GOD!” and “It’s a good movie because, hey, it’s from the dude that made Black Swan!”. Many of the reviews for mother are mind numbing…

  • Michael Roberts

    I actually enjoyed Identity you hacks!!

  • Angela

    Requiem for a Dream was an absolutely god awful movie. Could this possibly be worse? (Sounds like yes, it could.)

  • DanteSuckfest202

    Right? That’s one of my favorite thriller/horror movies. Probably the only one of those early 2000’s multiple personality movies that I thought pulled it off well.

  • Ultor_IVXLCQ

    It doesn’t mother

  • Lee Butler

    I know its TV but i would love to see you guys review The Orville.

  • EJ

    Thanks for the reminder of how good the video for “Turn Down for What” is. It actually is pretty similar visually to this movie.

  • Steven Gibbs

    Spikes # Rich and Jack

  • Calum Offswitch Hay

    This reveiw spoils the movie a fair bit…….BUT NOT AS MUCH AS THE SCRIPT!

  • Terriosaurus Hex

    You should check out a British film titled ‘Kill List’ …it’s a slow burn, atmospheric horror about an ex hitman given a mysterious last contract. It has that weird sense of dread similar to The VVitch (is that the spelling?) and not for the main audiences that would look at a film and think “Ex Hitman? Last job?? Balls to the wall action garunteed, surely??…Fucking sold!”
    Not related to this review, I know, but fuck everything…you can’t tell me what to do!!

  • Terriosaurus Hex

    So did i! Though that was a while ago when I was far less jaded. Even then, the end twist elicited a “really?” from me. So maybe not that bushy-tailed.

  • I’ve literally recommended this film two dozen times in these comment zones hoping Jay would pick it up at some point – it seems right up his alley. The tone of that movie is absolutely chilling. I’m glad SOMEONE here had the audacity to find it for themselves. All I can say – to anyone who hasn’t seen it. It’s really really good. Watch it.

  • danzinski

    A well-executed Aronofsky actual horror movie starring Jennifer Lawrence that goes crazily over-the-top is still a thing I would be down to see. Not sure why mother! couldn’t have been that instead of what it is but whatever. Aronofsky smoked some weed one time and thought up a crazy bible allegory and HAD to make a movie out of it and HAD to have Paramount give it a big release. I guess.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the bible is like super nostalgic, so many iconic allegory allies to go down

  • Foreman 371

    the same with game reviews. There are only few people swimming against the mainstream doing honest indepth reviews. And the source of the mainstream is very often IGN what has very questionable ratings in my opinion. From what I’ve checked on reviews even Angry Joe has at least one eye on IGN ratings. Ofc it’s easier to balance your critic this way without much work but if your trademark is to be extra independent…reviewing a game on basis of someones else rating would be fatal.

  • People laughed at The Witch? Which parts? I mean Black Phillip was a pretty funny plot device I guess

  • I was kind of hoping they’d do a recut of the Mother trailer with Turn Down For What as the soundtrack, but all I got was a snare roll.

  • Brian Levine

    I figured it out when Jonah Hill’s character got swallowed by Melissa McCarthy.

  • Brian Levine

    The in-credits scene with the flying monkeys.

  • Moist

    That “vibrating eyes” thing is called “nystagmus.” And the proper term for “taint” is “perineum.”

    Not sure how “perineum” is pronounced.

  • Foreman 371

    pretty sure it’s per-ee-neum spelled.

  • Moist

    Yar, I looked it up on youVid. I prefer the way I pronounce it. Pair-y-nay-um.

    I’ll just say “taint” when the subject come up.

  • Brian Levine

    Stewie: “Yeah, it was like that time the fat man tried to do a parody of Star Trek only it totally sucked.”

  • Moist

    Didn’t he also do “Noah” which featured rock monsters? Please somebody Google that for me.

  • Moist

    While we’re doing requests, how about a re:View of Killer Joe and/or Wild At Heart?

  • aimmoth

    But do you recommend it?

  • Bubs

    Wait, Jay went to film school? Where? Trump University? I’d ask for my fucking money back!

  • David

    Jay, Ed Harris was in Westworld.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “I kinda liked it.” — Oedipus Rex

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Time to grab career opportunities by the pussy and date your daughter. Because America!

  • Scumfall

    they made a film about the computer from alien ?

  • So who played God? Don’t tell me they made an allegorical movie about the Bible and didn’t cast anyone as God…

  • Bubs

    Actually, it’s a Danzig documentary.

  • EJ

    They probably wanted to but figured it wasn’t worth tangling with the youtube copyright police. I was hoping at the end when they talk about conning your elderly relatives into seeing it, they did something like that fake trailer for The Shining where they make it look like a heartwarming family comedy.

  • Foreman 371

    Wasn’t it Javier Bardem? The Killer from “No Country for old men” and the gay antagonist of Bond in Skyfall…

  • Spoiled Ants

    Tommy Wiseau probably has a cameo in this.

  • Moist

    HITB 10.05

  • Spoiled Ants

    Not only are Jodorowsky’s movies batshit crazy, they also have a point and are chock-full with great visual ideas.

  • Yeah I was thinking that or some sort of prophet, just judging from the trailer footage.

  • Moist

    I fucking hate it when I’m in a movie theatre with blind people. It’s all nonstop questions like, “what’s happening?” and “now what’s happening?” and “what just happened?”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Incest committing Greek monarchs who are also blind totally ruin my movie-going experiences.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Exactly, remember when JLaw is doing Lasagna and shoves it into Bard…..I mean, God’s ass? That’s about the american education system according to Arnofsky.
    Everything else is an allegory for Autobots.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Perineum” is pronounced “Steve Bannon’s face.” Hey-o! I’ll be here all week!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Allies or alleys?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Rock monsters? You mean like Boston and Styx and Deep Purple? A few more days until Rocktober.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I thought “Kill List” was about the US policy of using drones to kill terrorists?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I also don’t think ham-fisted metaphors are kosher.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Unless Cain and Abel find use for a double-ended dildo.

  • EJ

    Is it The Holy Mountain or El Topo where there’s a scene of people literally beating a literal dead horse? I can’t remember which one it is but I remember it made me laugh a lot.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    And the house is the Hollow Earth where the Reptoids and a re-animated Hitler live.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    It has a mark on it. Here, let me get club soda and a napkin.

  • Moist

    I think that I watched Kill List specifically because Mr. Bauman recommended it in one of these video thingies.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    We did when we started eating genetically modified food. Monsanto is bad. DO YOU GET IT????

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Was that a deleted scene in Bridesmaids?

  • Spoiled Ants

    Ed Harris was in Snow Piercer you hacks, directed by Bong Joon-ho, who did an actual good movie called MOTHER (2009).

  • EJ

    Game reviews have been a punchline for decades. Mainstream film reviews at least try to maintain a pretense of integrity.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    And Captain America had some worthwhile advise in Snowpiercer: “Babies taste the best.” I think that’s the motto of Operation: Rescue.

  • Moist

    Snow Piercer also features some baby eating.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    And integrity flew out the window the second “sponsored content” came into existence.

  • EJ

    They didn’t mention it in this review, but Adam Sandler has a cameo as God.

  • Moist

    I like these movies where children are a choice (at the buffet).

  • frankelee

    Now Mike understands that hitting the “reality off” button is a bad thing, but for his Force Awakens review he hadn’t yet figured that out. Also they stated at the top that they didn’t hate the movie and then listed out why it was shit for 30 minutes.

  • EJ

    Oh man, if you like your symbolism overly obvious, Snow Piercer is the film for you. Never has such a great cast, good writing, and solid vfx been wasted on such a stupid idea.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    [to man in restaurant]

    Jake: [fakes accent] How much for the little girl? How much for the women?

    Father: What?

    Jake: Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters… sell them to me. Sell me your children!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    America hit the “reality off” button on January 20, 2017. And we’ve all been better for it.

  • Moist

    There you go, that’s how one makes a pop culture reference.

  • frankelee

    Personally it had me in stitches for the entire run time. Two stars up!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I’m not interested in northern European geopolitics!

  • Spoiled Ants

    Snow Piercer is probably the only movie of his which was quite underwhelming for me particularly because of the lack of subtext (similar like Neon Demon).

  • Pop Culture Reference

    It isn’t?

  • EJ

    They’re not wrong, though. TBQH I liked it – but there are a lot of aspects that are pretty hard to defend. It’s kind of like their review of Blade Runner, where Jay is pointing out all its flaws and Colin is like, “OK, yep, that is pretty stupid… but it’s still awesome!”

  • Moist

    I enjoyed it and its piercing train-as-metaphor-for-social-inequality; especially compared to High-Rise which had a preposterous high-rise-as-metaphor-for-social-inequality that didn’t really rise to anything.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Lack of subtext sure, but I can lob that same accusation at cinematic abortions like Patch Adams and American Beauty. “Suburban life is vacant and meaningless. DO YOU GET IT??? Also, here’s a grainy video of a plastic bag in the wind. You love that pretentious shit.”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    That is ironic, doncha think?

  • Moist

    Neon Demon is great! It even features a literal neon demon! “Are you food or are you sex?” You damn well get what you pay for in that one.

  • frankelee

    Hmmm, wish they would have gone into the other side some. Also Jay was just being a nitpicky bitch about Blade Runner because of Ridley Scott’s stupid replicant subplot that one can completely ignore, the same way the screenwriter did. None of his criticisms really rang true.

  • Moist

    Did you just… did you just Morissette me?

  • EJ

    Oh yeah he’s talented director – I haven’t seen all of his films but Mother is very good. And Snow Piercer is a really well-made movie – I just couldn’t get past how goofy the concept was.

    I liked Neon Demon but for me it was just sorta fun, glossy trash. Kind of like De Palma at his best.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Let’s get all Dave Coulier in this bitch, aight!
    **drops mic, trips, falls off stage**

  • Moist

    Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Taint what it used to be, eh, Tex?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    And never get involved with a Sicilian when death is on the line.
    **laughs maniacally**
    **stops**
    **falls over dead**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    So this is more “My Mother, The Car” then “Mother, May I Sleep with Danger”?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Because Colin “Mad Foxes and a whole bathtub full of piss” is a respected source of cinematic taste?

  • Oh yeah? Which video thingies do you speak of?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    **holds up lighter**
    [shouting]: FREEBIRD!!!

  • EJ

    Damn, good point. Maybe Blade Runner actually sucks? I feel like after Mad Foxes I have to be skeptical of everything Colin likes.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    He really did take the piss out of Blade Runner.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Batfleck vs. The Neon Damon. Coming soon in Suicide Squad 2: Electric Boogaloo.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I remember seeing Identity in the theaters. Yes, I’m old.
    **goes back to shouting at cloud**

  • Moist

    I dunno, but I think maybe they were discussing Blue Ruin.

    Does RLM have a wiki?

    Edit: Holy shit. They do and it appears to be in Japanese. And also one in English! The world is changing!

  • Spoiled Ants

    Jesus, I totally forgot about that movie. Same people who were into that film went on to recommend me later Garden State and Cashback.
    What a dark time that was.

  • RLM confirmed for weeaboos. Unsubscribed.

  • EJ

    Yeah, the marketing was basically, “Hey, do you want to see pretty people do horrible things to each other in elegant settings? This is the movie for you!” And it delivered!

  • Spoiled Ants

    Did I miss something? The only thing that could have saved this film would have been Dolph Lundgren appearing as The Count (beware: Sesame Street reference).

  • ikdks

    The telephone is screaming! Wont she leave me alone?

  • ikdks

    In his defence, he can drop a beat.

  • That’s probably the American reboot version.

  • EJ

    I think the Venn Diagram of the people I knew who loved American Beauty and the people who hated Starship Troopers because they thought it was sincere fascist propaganda was just one big circle.

  • Moist

    Meh, you like what you like. But what makes me think we may be experiencing the Mandela effect is that I don’t get your Dolph Lundgren/Sesame Street reference at all.

  • It sounds like the director of this movie smoked weed for the first time and then wrote this movie. Maybe that’s why Requiem For a Dream is so offputtingly hyperbolic.

  • ikdks

    Hell yeah, he was.

  • ikdks

    Can you really blame blind people for banging their Mom?

    Maybe she has a really dark sense of humor.

  • ikdks

    I alway thought that about Inception.

    Dude, it’s a dream WITHIN a dream!

  • What if we do a movie about like, mother nature, and the bible and shit, mann? It’ll be all metaphorical and shit.

  • ikdks

    Ah dude! Lets eat a baby!

  • Spoiled Ants

    I admit, it’s no reference at all. Just random shit slapped together, I just got inspired by Arnofsky’s swagger I suppose.
    But I’ll probably give Neon Demon another chance some day.

  • Spoiled Ants

    So does ‘Dumplings’, but it’s more about Fetuses so were still below the PG rating.

  • Spoiled Ants

    So does ‘Dumplings’, but it’s more about Fetuses so were still below the PG rating.

  • Spoiled Ants

    So basically you guys are saying that Mother goes well with Boyhood for a Double Feature.

  • Spoiled Ants

    It could have been worse: the dude could’ve smoked weed and decided to make a movie about a guy turning another guy into a walrus.
    I think we dodged a bullet here.

  • EJ

    we’ve all been there.

  • EJ

    So, there used to be these things called “newspapers” that were printed on paper and sold every day in major cities. It was like the internet before there was the internet. I used to work for one of ’em, and my job involved working with people who paid money to put ads in our paper. Now, we had “critics” who wrote about movies, and every once in a while an advertiser who paid a bunch of money to promote a movie would call me up, irate that one of our critics had ripped the movie a new one, and all I could say was “buddy, I’m not even allowed to talk to the editorial staff.” I’m not sure this divide exists in internet journalism and I’m pretty sure it’s never existed for games.

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but it almost sounds as if you thought of them as… what’s the term… hack frauds.

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Vulture.com: Mother! Is Attempting to Use Its Bad Press to Attract More Moviegoers.” Thank you RLM!

  • MutePrint

    So when you present the Bible in an abstract way, Christianality seems bat shit crazy.

  • Moist

    That’s why a literal interpretation of scripture is the smart way to go. The Earth is less than 10,000 years old! Wearing mixed fabrics is a fashion no-no!

  • Popo Bawa

    I know writers who use subtext – and they’re all cowards.

  • stryker1121

    I hated that misery porn pile of depressing crap. Now there’s some hyperbole!

  • Moist

    Cameo? Word Up!

  • Derbrererd

    I will tell you what Paramount was thinking.
    All the religious people will want to see it because its all religious and stuff. And since everyone who isn’t “religious” is in reality devout to the Church of Environmentalism, that will be the focus of the story. And then they’re all supposed to argue about what the film was “really about”. And people who haven’t seen the movie will hear the debates about all this pseudophilisophical horseshit and think they’re missing out.

  • BCFC25

    So i take it you aint gonna be reviewing Kingsman 2?

  • Nathan Spaans

    So this is more “My Mother, The Car” then “Mother, May I Sleep with Danger”?

  • Foreman 371

    We live inside a dream, in the grey lodge. The motel with the two floors. The white horse that is dark within. As cherry pies! Swimming on a sea of black coffee! And don’t talk about Judy!

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    “We both kind of liked it.” – Deep Blue Something’s girlfriend

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Was the book better?

  • ikdks

    But what of loss in times of war where sand effervesces from the stone of the foundations of the buildings in which we learned our ABC’s

  • Gallen Dugall

    I look forward to their review of the My Little Pony movie.
    It will make this year complete.

  • Brian Levine

    And what’s with that Loving your Enemy nonsense?

  • Brian Levine

    And what’s with that Loving your Enemy nonsense?

  • Brian Levine

    Dang! I was hoping that this was going to be a movie about Rich Evans birthday party at Showbiz.

  • Brian Levine

    The emperor’s new clothes are just impeccable.

  • Brian Levine

    I imagine ol’ Dave hits his knees nightly and thanks whatever deity he believes in for letting him get away from psycho girl.

  • alex doucet

    Meh

  • Brian Levine

    I hear Applejack is finally going to come out.

  • Brian Levine

    I’m only gonna say this once: He kept HillRod out of the White House! I don’t care what other crazy he does. Job well done.

  • Brian Levine

    “Yes, you’re very smart. Shaddup.”

  • You’re supposed to love killing your enemies.

  • Brian Levine

    This is from an actual review of the The Neon Demon:

    “With The Neon Demon, [director Nicolas Winding Refn] vivisects the idea of surface-level pleasure by creating a frightening world of surfaces gleaming with pleasure.”

    Yeah, Hollywood isn’t pretentious at all.

  • Idk, I think that hitting the “reality off” button means different things to different people. This movie is obviously the far end of the spectrum as far as that is concerned. For me though – being like a Star Trek/Babylon 5 type guy, Star Wars has ALWAYS hit the “reality off” button for me. A better example though would be how X-Men Apocalypse pushed that button – my biggest problem with that movie was laughably that the fast guy was mostly shown running around grabbing people and saving them from danger – and then later on shown punching people while going really fast all the same. Oh I’m sorry – which is it? Going fast means high velocity contact or it doesn’t. It was just jarring when compared to the scene in Future Pants where every time he flicked someone’s cheek their skin would ripple and they would basically be knocked the fuck out. He never grabbed anyone from a burning building. But by doing so in Apocalypse the movie broke physics, and that was the killing stroke for me. Silly, I know. As someone pointed out to me: “In a universe where people shoot lasers out of their eyes this is your problem?” And yes. Yes it is. I’m okay with “people shoot lasers out of their eyes for *some reason*”, but the moment you break regular physics (like gravity, specifically) my reaction is “Mannn, I’m checkin out.”

  • EJ

    Also men should have short hair and women should have long hair. NO EXCEPTIONS! It’s all there in 1 Timothy. All those longhair Christian rockers are going straight to hell.

  • Bubs

    Yeah, but we already had the Flying Spaghetti monster for that which – based on what I’ve heard about Mother! – is a much more creative condemnation/exploration of religion. “You have ceremonial garb? We have ceremonial colanders. You believe God is an old white guy who watches everything we do? We believe God is a flying spaghetti monster who embraces us with his noodley appendages.” Etcetera. In other words, “What makes your batshit religion better than our batshit religion?”

  • EJ

    You have to hit the “reality off” button for all of Star Wars, though. There are people who can’t even enjoy ANH for all the unrealistic and illogical shit in it.

  • Foreman 371

    Wasn’t what put you really off that they didn’t care about their own rules/physic rather than the “reality off” button in your example? FA had similar cases. Like a “not even padawan level Jedi novice” who could win against a Sith, trained by Luke Skywalker himself. Even in Star Wars “reality off” logic that should be impossible.

  • EJ

    Every single Star Wars movie has equally questionable shit in it. That’s just the one the internet has decided to obsess about.

    I mean, Luke goes from bullseying womp rats in his T-36 or whatever to flying an X-wing (with apparently no training on X-wings), and pulling off a shot that experienced pilots doubt is even possible.

    How does he do it? “The force is strong in this one.” How does Rey beat Kylo Ren? Clearly, the force is stronger in her. That’s all you need in the Star Wars universe to explain basically anything.

  • EJ

    Haha yeah, one thing I wasn’t asking myself during Neon Demon, was “hmm, I wonder what this symbolizes.”

  • Sure yeah that’s a fair point – they established their rules already and then threw them out the window. Also the rest of the movie was pretty bad, but that’s beside the point.

  • I also used to nitpick about how Luke just zips about from planet to planet in an X-Wing, but apparently this is made sense of in the X-Wing vs Tie Fighter games which establish a rule that is “X-wings have their own hyperdrive, Tie Fighters do not”, hence why you always see swarms of Tie Fighters around larger ships – they are short range attack craft. X-wings I guess aren’t? Good enough for me. Did they mention this anywhere in the movies though? Nope. It’s almost like the expanded universe exists to cover up for George Lucas’s mistakes.

  • EJ

    I’m sure there’s something in the EU explaining why when you’re using a small, fast, maneuverable aircraft to attack an AT-AT, the correct approach is to fly straight toward the front of it, the one angle where it can actually shoot you.

  • Foreman 371

    I don’t care much about the religious hokospokus but the picture they draw about nature and mothers is bewildering for the 21th century. An exploding volcano is “nature” and moms can be pretty destructive forces aswell.

  • EJ

    Especially when mother nature just killed several hundred (at least) people in Mexico and took out half the Caribbean.

  • RLMkeepitup

    mother nature and father time always win, together we stand no chance

  • RLMkeepitup

    i came, here to say i love you. you specifically, reading this. right now. here.

  • EJ

    It’s AMAZING, this guy’s taint!

  • Moist

    I was not aware that there was a book of Timothy.

    Dig this: “We know that the law is good if one uses it properly.”
    Timothy seems kind of dim. Or is operating at a much higher level than I can conceive of.

  • Moist

    Dude, you know she’s going to turn out to be Palpatine’s kid or another midichlorian baby or some new kind of overpowered shit.

    Fucking midichlorians.

  • JewYork

    This film is a tough nut to crack.
    On one hand; it’s a totally obvious and overt metaphor for the bible… loaded with direct references that could only be biblical in nature.
    On the OTHER hand, “Mother Nature” and/or “Mother Earth” are NOT even characters in the bible. They’re folk lore.
    Mother Nature/Earth doesn’t give birth to Jesus in any version of the bible.
    And if she’s supposed to be Mary… why is she, basically, a drug addict in this film?

    So, yeah, at times some stuff is “barely even a metaphor! it’s all so literal!”, and yet…. the differences at other times are MAJOR.

  • Gallen Dugall

    I expect nothing less than an Into the Mouth of Madness level societal breakdown.

  • EJ

    1 Timothy is a goto book for people who want to justify all kinds of bad shit:
    “All who are under the yoke of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God’s name and our teaching may not be slandered.”
    ” A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.”
    Then there’s the bit where he equates homosexuals with people who murder their parents…

  • EJ

    I voted for Hillary, but I’m not sure you’re wrong.

  • Yeah I think that’s the clash Jay was referring to. The two things are like apples and oranges and they don’t analogize one another well at all – the decisions made with this movie are kind of puzzling. Like – what’s the message here? Humanity fucked up the world with the Bible? Didn’t we do more of that emitting noxious fumes, cutting down forests, and tossing trash everywhere? I mean I’m not saying “the timber industry is bad and everyone should drive on vegetable oil”, but if you’re going to point an obvious ill-thought finger at anything I don’t understand what the Bible has to do with the degradation of the Earth. That’s like on particular facet of humanity that mostly affects itself. I guess what I’m saying is I don’t understand the venn diagram that the director/writer is attempting to paint for us.

  • EJ

    Nah, I think they were hoping to piss off religious people and milk that publicity cow, “Passion of the Christ” style. But AFAIK religious types have been pretty indifferent to this movie.

  • EJ

    Flying Spaghetti Monster is the kind of childish bullshit that makes me embarrassed to admit I’m an atheist. If you really need a joke religion, Discordianism is far better and predates the FSM.

  • EJ

    One scene that kinda took me out of TFA was when they come out of hyperspace in the atmosphere of Starkiller base. “Wait, they hit the atmosphere at near light speed and don’t explode in a giant nuclear fireball – ah fuck it, it’s Star Wars.”

  • Moist

    Yeah, and I think I misspoke above. It’s not shit Timothy wrote but what Paul wrote to Timothy. What a cunt.

  • The idea too, that he dropped out at the exact split second basically sums up Star Wars as a whole. “It was just a cosmic coincidence! I mean destiny!” I think that was sort of what the comedic appeal of that scene but it comes off as pretty (extremely) unbelievable. I mean like – surely they are passing multiple planets, maybe even stars over split seconds so translating the likelihood of that happening to text would require me to type more zeroes (after a decimal) than my laptop can handle.

  • EJ

    Though the way Paul writes to him you do get the impression he was a little on the dim side.

  • Moist

    Given that choice it’s no wonder so many opted out, stayed home, and ate babies instead.

  • Moist

    God, this insufferable Kingsman bullshit is some insufferable bullshit.

  • EJ

    To be fair there is a line about it in ANH when they encounter a TIE fighter at what used to be Alderaan just before they get hit by the tractor beam. Somebody, I think Obi-wan, says something to the effect of “that’s a short range fighter, there must be a base near here.” So that bit is partially explained.

  • That reviewer should really invest in a thesaurus if they’re going to be that redundant. Should have changed the second “pleasure” to “satisfaction”.

  • That’s true I’ll admit I haven’t watched the original trilogy in awhile – I was one of the few people who when everyone was flipping out over CGI Grand Moff I was sitting here asking “who the fuck is Grand Moff Tarkin?”. So I probably know less than I project to

  • I think the lame romance is kind of difficult to defend, but then again I suppose the phrase “romantic chemistry” is pretty subjective.

  • EJ

    OTOH, have you ever had one of those dreams where you “wake up” but you’re still dreaming? It’s freaky as fuck.

  • I think Paul was drunk one night writing in his journal and this is what we ended up with.

  • ikdks

    I’da told him to stick that red pill up his ass!

  • ikdks

    Isn’t that an old stoner wives tale?

    The babysitter was so high she though she was cooking a turkey, but it was really THE BABY!!!!!!

    dum da dump dump.

  • EJ

    Well, see, this one time we were down in Mexico and got some primo shit, and back then you could buy a baby for like fifty bucks, so, long story short…

  • Joe Syxpac

    I’ll only watch a My Little Pony movie if it’s live action and Michael Bay directs it.

  • EJ

    Yeah, and you can’t get mad at Star Wars for violating all known laws of physics, since that’s been a Star Wars thing from the get go. But it violates its own internal rules, and even basic logic, on a regular basis as well.

  • wesley

    So i take it you aint gonna be reviewing Kingsman 2?

  • Steve Marth

    I didn’t exactly love this movie, but Mike and Jay’s (mostly Jay’s) review strikes me as weirdly kneejerk and hastily dismissive. Like, yeah, maybe Aronofsky’s a weird jerk, but the fact that you ‘figured out’ the obvious biblical stuff is a weird reason to critique it. Art doesn’t need to hide its messages in easter eggs; it’s not a game. What was fascinating to me about Mother! was that, yes, it’s a bible allegory (and a nature allegory), but it was also an allegory about women and mothers, and how they are taken for granted by the men and children in their lives. I don’t feel like writing an essay about it, but clearly Aronofsky has some deep thoughts and regrets about his own relationship with his mother (see: Requiem for a Dream), as well as his romantic relationships, and this movie (“Mother!”, duh) showed again and again, not so subtly, how women are taken for granted, over and over and over again, by everybody around them. THIS was the most obvious thread of the film to me, and yet Mike and Jay didn’t mention it once.

    So as flawed as this movie might be, it is simultaneously a biblical retelling, AND a nature allegory, AND a modern critique of how we treat the women in our lives. Someone might cry “mixed metaphors!”, but I’m personally amazed at how neatly all 3 of these threads actually fit together. And top that off with the fact that it plays out entirely in this vivid dream-logic, the realism of which Mike did praise, which was the closest to “real” dreams I’ve ever seen in a movie. It plays out like an actual nightmare, not like a Hollywood version of a nightmare. Again, Jay and Mike took this as a negative, because it “wasn’t real”, as if we can only truly care about characters in a movie if they’re “real.” Which is nonsense.

    Point is: I totally understand someone giving a bad review to this movie. Like I said, I didn’t LOVE it. It’s probably towards the bottom if I was to rank Aronofsky movies, even. But watching it in the theater, I found it completely gripping. It was a joy to watch. One of the more palpably thrilling theater experiences I’ve had in a while. I’m just a little bummed that both Jay and Mike seemed like they suffered some Aronofsky-interview fatigue and dismissed the movie without giving it the same level of consideration they usually give movies on HITB.

  • Strelnikov

    I think you should do it.

    On YouTube.

    In 1080p.

  • JSP

    I think the lame romance is kind of difficult to defend, but then again I suppose the phrase “romantic chemistry” is pretty subjective.

  • Brian Levine

    I thought it was M*A*S*H:

    “It was a baby!!!”

  • Robotpals

    In the midst of all the hurricanes this season, how are we to accept that Mother Earth is passive and gentle? There’s also wasps. And poison ivy. And volcanos. And earthquakes. And all those things were around before SUVs. So, yeah, we have to get Mother Earth before she gets us!

  • Moist

    World population is approaching 8 billion. We appear to be winning.

    Edit: “winning”

  • Joe Syxpac

    Really, all we’re doing now is getting back at the bitch for a million years of dicking with us. We’re way behind anyway.

  • Wtf? Get out of here, doppelganger. (that’s my post from somewhere I don’t even remember)

  • Brian Levine

    Plus you can always chase it with The Stepfather and The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.

  • EJ

    Yeah there are these oddball accounts that seem to only exist to cut and paste random comments from other threads. I can’t figure out if it’s some glitch in Disqus or a really strange attempt at trolling.

  • Erwan Gaillard

    So i take it you aint gonna be reviewing Kingsman 2?

  • Brian Levine

    It’s a glitch in the Matrix. It happens when they change something.

  • Pulp

    Sure, but I think if you interpret the Garden of Eden as Mother-Earth and some sort of lost paradise, it kind of works. Plus, one way or another the Garden of Eden gives birth to Christ, because the ultimate goal of Christ is to return mankind back to the Garden of God.

  • Moist

    Editorial might have told you about the importance of brevity.

  • EJ

    Seriously most of his epistles read like that. “So, I went to your church, and here’s some stuff I think you guys should work on…” (3 cups of wine later) “And here’s some other random shit that I’m pissed off about right now.”

  • EJ

    Seriously most of his epistles read like that. “So, I went to your church, and here’s some stuff I think you guys should work on…” (3 cups of wine and 1 or 2 chapters later) “And here’s some other random, nonsensical shit that I’m pissed off about right now.”

    I’ve met a number of Christians who think Jesus was the real deal and then Paul came along and fucked everything up – I gotta say it’s an interesting proposition.

  • EJ

    “Brevity”?? I don’t know what that is but it sounds pretty lame.

  • Moist

    Romantic chemistry is science, dammit! There’s no room for subjectivity when we’re electrified by the passionate commingling of our most exotic bodily fluids!

  • Moist

    Romantic chemistry is science, dammit! There’s no room for subjectivity when we’re electrified by the passionate commingling of our most exotic bodily fluids!

  • Was Kingsman 1 supposed to be good? I hadn’t even heard of it until everyone here started saying they should review the second.

  • Fart Magnus

    8 billion? Really? Last time I turned around it was 6! There’s TOO MANY fucking humans breeding. And people in Australia are against gay marriage?!? Fucking idiot humans – we deserve what we get.

  • I feel like it’s increased at least a billion since I was a kid, but it could be that I just always hear a varying estimation.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “It’s about the Bible! DON’T YOU GET IT!!!” — Pretentious Brooklyn Cab Driver

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Weren’t they a trio that sang folk songs?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Mother Earth is gentle and passive. Just look at this mother wolverine while I use her babies to play tennis.
    **gets mauled to death**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Well, I’m out.
    **throws money on table**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    **waves magic wand around**
    Because Science!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    DON’T YOU GET IT?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Someone please copy and paste this comment and pretend like it’s your original thought.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Guys, I just made a shocking revelation.

    I don’t think they’re ever going to review Transformers 5.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I thought the ultimate goal of Christ was to make our bathrooms safe from trans people, immigrants, and liberals? What version of the Bible are you reading? Mine was written by Mike Pence when he had a fever dream at CPAC.

    **goes back to watching Hercules versus The Moon Men**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Optimus Prime is Mother Earth, Megatron is the Devil. DON’T YOU GET IT???

  • Pop Culture Reference

    So is Mother Nature anti-Catholic or anti-cartels? Theologians, chime in. Help me out here. I’m trying to read the signs.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    It’ll still be better than this hamfisted silliness.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Your post is more Carlos Mencia than Carlos the Jackal.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    You should repeat it more often.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I thought the Catholic League spent most of their political capital defending pederast priests?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Christianality? When you fuck the Bible?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The Earth is 3000 years old, you evolutionist sorcerer! I take umbrage at your blasphemy and sacrilege.

    We still playing a game of skins at the country club this weekend? I might be late, I’m getting my Maybach detailed. Tax-exempt, suckas!!!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “The rabbit has sharp pointy teeth too!!!” — Tim the Wizard

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I prefer John. No, I really prefer Ringo.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    That explains all those pogroms and expulsions of the Jews from Catholic kingdoms during the Middle Ages.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I thought Manchester by the Sea was depressing misery porn?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I’ll take Snowpiercer Special with a side of Stewie in Bearnaise sauce.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Where’s Nadine when you need her?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Candace Cameron?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Glossy trash? I guess that is a succinct way to describe Ivanka Trump.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    What does playing football in a tux symbolize?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Have fun storming the castle.”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Is liking “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” really sound basis to start a lasting relationship?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Say that with a Brooklyn accent and maybe I can understand.

  • ChildofLight

    Yepp we are over 7 billions since a couple of years. (When I was born it was still 5) Problem is poverty leads into lack of perspective and then all you do is…doing the bunny thing. Explode your family members number until your wife (or one of your wives) breaks. That’s why building walls is no solution on the long run.

  • ChildofLight

    Someone please copy and paste this comment and pretend like it’s your original thought.

  • I thought they were the people who couldn’t put Humpty back together again.

  • ChildofLight

    my guess is they are bots to start discussions and/or to increase the user numbers artificialy rather than beeing trolls.

  • Moist

    It was alright if you like violent fancy lads with good posture who bend the knee for queens and monarchs. It also had Samuel L Jackson doing a speech impediment thing.

    The sequel, though, it looks one step removed from the ripoff gimmickry of RIPD and does nothing to improve my IBS.

  • Thanatos

    Baby being slaughtered and eaten

    Jay: “Meh”

  • Moist

    This is the water, and this is the well.

  • Moist

    Perfecting those silent drape runners.

  • Moist

    Or how about Critters? It features Dee Wallace Stone, M. Emmett Walsh, and that guy what played Neelix in that Star Trek show.

  • Thanatos

    Rebel craft needed individual hyperdrives because their tactics were hit and run on imperial targets. Deploying and then recollecting a squad of fighters from larger ships would take too long when they needed to escape from the much larger firepower of the Empire.

    It makes sense thematically too. So it’s not just pure nonsense. It’s like someone did just a LITTLE thinking behind the whole thing before they made the movies. (Remember X-Wings having a hyper drive first shows up in Empire)

  • Thanatos

    I think if they fired the Ion cannon at a ground target, it would destroy the electronics in their entire base.

    Think of how big a Star Destroyer is. Those AT-ATs were not that far away.

  • Thanatos

    Eating shellfish SENDS YOU TO HELL

  • Thanatos

    Slave trading is evil, but slave buying is not! Obey me, slaves! No, I totally don’t own any.

  • Thanatos

    Seriously, when I went onto my porch last weekend there were 7 wasps having a party on the wood railing. I ran back into the house.

    Fuck you, Nature.

  • Well he did watch “Proxy”, a movie that opens with a pregnant woman being violently assaulted, leaving her pregnant stomach intentionally maimed so that the baby would be dead. Ashamedly, so did I – didn’t really feel that proud of it after sitting through to the end though. I think I was hoping for a better payoff.

  • Were they drinking?

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    You’ve got to start somewhere. It was the one thing they had.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    You’ve got to start somewhere. It was the one thing they had.

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Ooooooo feisty… Me likey

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Joder Bardem can’t be God! That’s Harry S. Plinkett’s job!

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Someone please copy and paste this comment and pretend like it’s your original thought.

  • Gallen Dugall

    It’s cute when people think that watching this stuff is a choice people make. They’re always the most amusing people at the reeducation camp where they are forced to watch a 24 hour stream of this stuff with their eyes taped open Clockwork Orange style.

  • Robotpals

    If you believe that the world is overpopulated, then the solution starts with you.

  • Moist

    Arguably the best feature of living in the projects is the shortage of W.A.S.P.S.

  • Terriosaurus Hex

    To be honest, I doubt I would’ve noticed the Biblical symbolism with this film like others seem to have, because I know nothing about any of these Christian stories they reference in the review. Maybe it’s an American thing, but for me, religion was a complete non-entity in upbringing and have had no interest in learning it since. Perhaps that means I’m a big dummy dumb dumb for this film that wouldn’t ‘get it’ like everyone else, but it also sounds like it would be a more enjoyable watch without those mental restraints.

  • Terriosaurus Hex

    Err, thankyou!

  • Terriosaurus Hex

    It’s sort of ironic that almost everyone I know who likes that film are heavy drug dabblers, even the person who first introduced me to it was quite the chemical devil. Oh well, better luck next time, Aronofsky!

  • Terriosaurus Hex

    Third dozen time’s the charm! Or however that saying goes.
    I was starting to think I was the only person who had seen that film. The internet sure does make one feel less alone in their tastes. 😉

  • Requiem For a Dream? My memory of it is that people who like Requiem are the same type of people who like “Spun” – I almost wanna throw “Trainspotting” in that category but I don’t think I ever made it through that movie. Supposedly it’s good or something. But the type of flick I’m talking about takes the dark topicality of drug use and makes it “quirky”- and for some reason there’s something about that I find unsettling – or annoying?

  • Mike Magnum

    Frankly After 4 mind numbingly boring Bond film. A silly over the top spy movie was actually refreshing.

  • I mean I like drugs and I thought the movie was ass – so hopefully you haven’t been left with an overall impression that all addicts have horrible taste in movies.

  • Thanatos

    They were eating the wood. I’m not sure what that compares to with humans.

  • Moist

    Boca sucia!

  • RLMkeepitup

    and that guy non-stop requesting it has finally gone home

  • Joe Syxpac

    I think he moved on to Kingsman 2.

  • Joe Syxpac

    You can force people to watch it but you can’t force them to review it!

    LONG LIVE THE REPUBLIC!

  • Gallen Dugall

    And yet they already reviewed the Transformers movie with the pony connection in it. Insidious isn’t it? Seriously Hasbro is like the Illuminati and Scientology had a corporate baby.

  • ChildofLight

    it’s a morgue. nothing else.

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Precisely! With all the baby-eating, where would pederast priests find babies to molest? They simply won’t have it!

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    I know Harry forgives me, hombre!

  • ChildofLight

    Next Pre-Rec is about Hellblade. And it will be a totally super awesome fine game with tiny little flaws here and there (3rd person perspective, Rich will have alot to say about this. Again) but the story makes it all up. Because story is the most important aspect for a game from 2017.

  • Jessica Meyer

    Ahhhhhh… are these comments serious or sarcastic? SERIOUSLY I NEED TO KNOW. I did not. get it.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Thought experiment: How empty and meaningless does someone’s life have to be to copy someone else’s Disqus posts?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Javier Bardem was great as the hero in No Country for Old Men.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    You barbarians! At least cook the damn thing first!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    **yelling into press room of local tabloid rag**
    STOP THE PRESSES!!!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Darren Arnoldofsky looks like Elvis Costello but sounds like Al Smith. Hey-o!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    RLM doesn’t do requests. This may come as a surprise to the demographic of those born yesterday.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I love that song!

    “I got busy in a Burger King bathroom!”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Don’t forget the Zika virus, because Mother Nature loves visual irony.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    7 wasps? Were they singing “Constance Frye” and taking about their early years in Groton with Bunny and Muffsy?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    7 wasps? Were they singing “Constance Frye” and taking about their early years in Groton with Bunny and Muffsy?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Ask Ted Haggard.
    **slide whistle**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Russian Trump bots gone rogue?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Gahh! Change! Make it stop!” — A Republican.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    If you ask it three times, Candyman appears.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    **cackles with glee as he creates a RLM-branded metaphysical Ouroboros**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    People get weirded out when I tell them that. Mainly because I’m reading the menu at Wendy’s.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Did the Showbiz Bear eat a baby?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Like that one time Trump tweeted about that thing?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    PARAMOUNT [sniffing a line of coke off a hooker’s butt]: More cocaine!!! Oh, right, the Bible, symbolism, whatnot. He’s a dump truck full of money.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Devout immigrant children who can’t speak English?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The emperor’s new clothes go nicely with his old hat. Look! He’s beating a dead horse!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I used to be an atheist, then I was filled with the Holy Spirit. I later opened my heart and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Personal Savior. That’s why I’m a Vice Pope in the Church of the SubGenius.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    After Acts, it’s basically Paul’s LiveJournal entries and then Revelation.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    As long as you don’t have a boner doing it. That would be a sin.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Is the Wallace and Gromit movie The Wrong Trousers part of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Expanded Universe?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Inception is basically the Willy Wonka boat ride, but with CGI.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The owls are not what they seem.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    We need more hits from the Bong Joon-ho.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I think those people voted for Joe Lieberman and thought Tipper Gore was just peachy!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    On an unrelated note, I’m going to a pro-life prayer breakfast. Suckling pig and fresh eggs are on the menu. See, cuz it’s ironic. DON’T YOU GET IT???

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Like that one starring Morgan Freeman as God? What was it called? Oh yeah, “March of the Penguins.”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Besides the herpes?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    He was blind after he committed Momcest.

  • Believe it or not that was in the back of my mind when making this comment. Quality.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Humpty Hump 2020. Bring some dignity back to the Oval Office!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Unless you’re Louis Winthorpe III.

  • Gallen Dugall

    There are two kind of people that care about Trump tweets
    1) Tantrum throwing morons
    2) People who troll tantrum throwing morons

  • SUPERMAD

    And sand. It gets everywhere.

  • EJ

    Shock G would have been a better President than either of the 2 candidates we had.

  • EJ

    I feel like we haven’t heard from the Catholic League in a while. Did Bill Donohue die or something?

  • ChildofLight

    try harder, kiddo. *spits out bait like a boss*

  • ChildofLight

    I pride myself in taking a punch and I’ll gladly take another because I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Well at least Park Chan Wook last film ‘The Handmaiden’ was surprisingly good, I’ve almost written him off.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Just drink two bottles of the blood of Christ and your sins will be forgiven.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Plagiarists wait while the master baits.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Ah, yes, I remember those 2 candidates. The debate between Box of Rocks against Box of Hammers was a subtle exhibit of political discourse.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Looks like all those ground up rhino horns worked for a couple people.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Discussion Question: Is Donald Trump’s administration exhibiting adherence to Jeffersonian or Hamiltonian democracy? Please give your answer in the form of a rap song.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I think the main thrust of the review wasn’t the symbolism per se, Biblical or otherwise, but Arnofsky’s minor flaw, being his execution of said symbolism was fucking horrible.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    How does it taste?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Isn’t that most of the American electorate?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I can only hope so. Or else my prayers to Satan will have been pointless.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Will it still work that way?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    This is the church and this is the steeple …

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Twin Peaks deep cut. Quality.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Especially when one of the partners has all the charisma of an Easy Bake Oven.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Under His Eye.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    **sipping**
    Tastes a lot like Fruit Punch.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    He was also in Snowpiercer.

  • Spoiled Ants

    *Happy Hour*

  • Mike Magnum

    I think that They should do a review of The Orville and Star Trek Discovery. I think Mike would be surprised how despite the crude jokes, The Orville feels like Star Trek TNG. But they probably wouldn’t be Surprised that Star Trek Discovery is shit.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Darren Arnofsky’s Metaphysical MILF Movie.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Leviticus: The Penthouse Letters of the Bible.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    If your drug use is heavy, I wouldn’t use the term “dabbler.” Junkie or addict may be a more appropriate descriptor.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I don’t think Kevin Smith is in shape enough to dodge anything.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The Force is also easier to spell than McGuffin.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “But it violates its own internal rules, and even basic logic, on a regular basis as well.”

    Sort of like when The Orange Circus Peanut opens his mouth and words come out.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Augusto Pinochet kept Chile from going Communist. Luckily the country avoided descending into a miasma of tyranny, corruption, torture, and disappearances. Oh wait …

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Never has such a great cast, good writing, and solid vfx been wasted on such a stupid idea.”

    THE STAR WARS PREQUELS: I’m standing right here!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Neon Demon? The guy who wrote “Sweet Caroline”?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Speaking of pretentiousness, Terrance Malick’s “Knight of Cups.”

  • EJ

    No, that’s Song of Solomon.

  • Rich and Jack are harsh on story-focused games so I don’t really see them giving it a very positive review. Jack specifically hates cutscenes, and Rich holds most of his high praise for what he sees as thoughtfully implemented game mechanics (definitely hates walking simulators).

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Cutscenes are awesome. They are like video games, but you don’t have to worry about playing them. It would be great if video game cutscenes were extended to, say, 90 minutes.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Australia is only populated by kangaroos and road warriors. I could see how gay marriage would their placid way of life. Then they couldn’t get to Valhalla shiny and chrome.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “So, yeah, at times some stuff is “barely even a metaphor! it’s all so
    literal!”, and yet…. the differences at other times are MAJOR.”

    It exhibits how Arnofsky can run like Mays but can’t bat for shit.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu did a better job integrating a pro-environmental stance into an authoritarian Protestant Christianity. The only thing worse than a Christian conservative is a crunchy granola Christian conservative. They are the “business hippies” of Christendom.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “She lusted after their genitals–as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.” Ezekiel 23:20

    Animal husbandry has never so … arousing.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The classic “I meant to do that” marketing move.

  • ChildofLight

    maybe. Just a bad old habbit posting provoking post. I’m too old for this.

  • lol Metaphysical MILF – that’s a good band name.

  • Brian Levine

    As long as they eat Shia Laboef, I’m good.

  • He’s got my vote.

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