Mike and Jay talk about two wonderful new films while Jay prepares his vows for his gay wedding with a syphilitic elderly man who hasn’t showered in 7 years and has disgusting genital warts on his decades old fecal encrusted taint.
Filed in: Half in the Bag
Life? Not Kong?
Power Rangers was a weird inversion of the tv show. Great acting, disappointing action scenes
I’ll watch a big budget creature feature… when it comes out on DVD.
I’ve already not watched Kong Skull Island and Beauty and the Beast, now I gotta find time to not watch these movies too??? Fuck this.
But how will we now know if the Beauty kills the Beast at the end of the Kong?
I thought that was gravity, which I also didn’t see.
Gotta love those maximum snark HitB´s.
“So, Mike, do you recommend life?”
“It was fine, and then it ended.”
I keep thinking of the one where Jessica Lange pushes the ape off the building while the Dude watches in horror.
“No! Not the monkey!”
It reminds me of Winter Kills. Cause both start with the Dude on a boat in the ocean and end with someone falling off a building.
It’s a fun moopie about a conspiracy to kill JFK-like president.
To further the Dude theme, it was financed with weed money and one of the producers ended up serving a 40-year sentence while the other one was found handcuffed and shot dead in his apartment.
No Kong? No Beauty and the Beast?
Actually there’s no need to watch that 2nd one. It’s a blurry photocopy of something great.
Pfft my generation throwback Samurai Jack’s way better, review that (as a kid I knew Power Rangers was lame)
Also the only movie franchise that did Super cereal nolanization well was James Bond
This movie should have cut their losses and just make simple kiddy schlock and not add revenge porn psa, also origin movies are so boring now
They should steal that storyline for HitB, marrying Mr. Plinkett is getting old. And add some boobs.
As if Mike would review an adaptation of an animated movie
Christopher Nolan presents, The Andy Griffin Show
7 mins to the first star track reference , didnt make a big thing of it , just slipped it in , like jay will do to mr plinkett .
Life were just a huge feel-bad movie.
Oh… it’s just the part of the story. At one point they were some 4 million in debt without knowing it and the whole production got shot down.
Elizabeth Taylor had to return the fur coat she weaseled out of the director… people started being paid in hotel rooms with wads of cash smuggled in bags, coats and bras… And then the whole movie got shot down for real – so director comes up with the idea to take the whole crew to Germany, film a wacky comedy there, and use money from that to finish the original movie.
On top of that, it’s a pretty weird movie with a first time director directing a brilliant and strange cast and crew.
It’s one of those “Wait… Is that Toshiro Mifune? That IS Toshiro Mifune!” kinda movies.
Yeah… It gets kinda repetitive how they keep trying to escape from prison but keep being caught over and over again.
WHERE THE EVER LOVING FUCK IS JOHN WICK!?
I’d like to hear what they say on Kong, but…..Beauty and the Beast? Are you a guy?
CHiPs had no appeal because if you grew up with the show, you remember it for its surprisingly-for-a-low-budget-tv-show well-done car chases and vehicular destruction. Whereas the trailer made the baffling decision to portray it as “Gay Panic: The Movie.” Not so much that it’s un-PC, but just that it’s not what anyone fondly remembers about the TV series.
“It sucks on a guy’s…..leg.
Ha ha! lol
It’s Memorial Day already? I gotta stop drinking.
I was pretty sure Jay was reading actual fan mail for Red Letter Media at the beginning.
How about a Small Wonder movie? A family and their robot sister. Imagine the possibilities.
Someone submit Mike for drug testing, he was on fire this episode…
I got ask. When did a show about two single traffic cops. Who pick up hot babes while teaching pedestrian life lessons and tips on traffic safety. Turn into a movie about dick jokes.
Really, are people interested in Kong? I didn’t find the original movie
interesting and none of the remakes interested me except for that Japanese one
with the Mecha Kong robot when I was like 10 years old.
Now he’s going down to Emmett’s Fix-It Shop to fix Emmett
I’m surprised you guys didn’t enjoy Chips, best buddy cop movie in years. I liked it more than beauty and the beast.
Nothing great about it. Disneys BnB (there are other, better versions) is a 19th century story about a girl who thinks she can turn her abusive jealous psycho lover into a nice guy if she just try hard enough. It clashes with our understanding of a modern relationship and bring girls, who believe in such medievel fiction in life threatning situations if they cling to such human failures.
Worse. A father. The shit I’ve had to sit through.
Power Rangers: Eat a Big Donut.
Anyone remember the movie Leviathon starring Robocop? That’s what I thought when I saw the Life trailer…Leviathon in Space!!!
And does Mikey have a cameo?
Isn’t that also the plot of 50 Shades of Gray?
What? You didn’t love the Charles Grodin version?
*Leviathan and I agree.
Neil Breen will be featured in Star Wars: The Last Jedi. His role is unknown, but it’s said to be fairly important to the story. Sources say the executives at Disney are high on his performance in the Han Solo movie and look to expand his presence in their ever growing universe.
I’ve begun to grow bored of Half in the Bag because I seriously just don’t give a shit about any of the movies they talk about anymore. It’s strange, because that’s what got me into watching RLM in the first place.
Cool Neil Breen/Star Wars reference
Yeah, man. It’s like, you know, they used to only review quality shit that wasn’t mainstream like X-Men First Class and Your Highness and Scream 4. Life and Power Rangers? Pssh. Those are totally different from the stuff they reviewed before!!
The plot will be either that an opportunist is trying to con the family out of their money or a “hip, modern” comedy that parodies itself with the most lowest common denominator humor ever imaginable.
I never really liked CHiPs but you’re basically right. This was just another case of clueless idiots making a movie about something without understanding it or why people enjoyed it.
I guess he does have a point. I don’t want to hear about movies that are just okay. I want movies that are great or are train wrecks.
And that’s not what HitB is or was ever about.
If you want train wrecks, watch Best of the Worst. If you want great films, watch Re:View.
That’s a nice looking canon.
Clearly, there’s a demand in the market for more Best of the Worst.
These guys should hire a slavedrive… I mean… they need a manager to manage their things and make them millionaires.
That’s a big donut.
To be fair, it’s probably better than a lobotomy too.
It’s Morphine time…
Who’s messing me my medicine?
It’s cause almost all life on this planet is a dick joke. All things begin at the tip of a dick…
And all things eventually return to that fount of creation when they lose whatever it is they think that’s been giving them their forward momentum.
A dick joke is nothing but an attempt to deal with a realization of one’s life in a circle of dicks.
He was cleared by the best anti-doping laboratories of Sochi.
What’s the use of a Memorial Day if no one can remember it?
With all them colorful costumes I’d expect them to be Acid Power Rangers.
Best part of waking up… is becoming a robot-lion leg of a giant robot…
Oh yeah… those kids were on acid.
Considering that they drop a new video almost every week and they balance it pretty well between HiTB, BoTW, and Re:View, I’m surprised anyone’s complaining at all. Personally I like having them rip apart mediocrity – because mediocrity can be deceiving. A regular person at the end of a mediocre movie might just go “ehhhhh that was okay” – and they’re okay with that. But “just okay” is often one of the worst types of movies. There’s something about “barely competent” that is sometimes harder to watch than a terrible movie, and I like thinking about why all these movies are such big budget stillbirths.
“John Wick shoots people”. There. I haven’t seen it but that’s my review of John Wick 2.
syphilitic elderly man who hasn’t showered in 7 years and has disgusting genital warts on his decades old fecal encrusted taint.
Good lord guys, I’m on a my lunch break.
No, I’m not saying there’s really a change in content. There’s a change within me, more than anything. Well, maybe it’s a little of both. I just like their other stuff more now. Hence the “strange”. Just an observation, not really a complaint. I appreciate your sass, though, Mr. Sassypants.
Mike put it best: he just goes into autopilot now. I guess you see one stillbirth, you’ve seen em’ all. It’s just depressing now, the state of Hollywood crap. Again, I wasn’t complaining about HitB in particular, I was stating it’s strange that I’ve become disenchanted with the whole song and dance. I like the other stuff more now. I guess it makes me feel like not putting a gun to my head over how creatively bankrupt the movies tend to be.
Yeah I suppose in a sense I’ve always felt that the format for HiTB was always kind of unnecessarily strict in the sense that they just review what they go to see in the theater most of the time. I can see where you’re coming from.
Jay doesn’t even react to Mike’s constant Star Trek references anymore. Maybe just a little cringe next time, Mr. Bauman?
Why would you want them to talk about good movies?
It’s a Red Letter Media reference funny guy. I miss last year, when the folks in this section spread a rumor that he was in Rogue One and multiple web sites reported on it. 😉
Seriously. I said this in another comment, but if you liked the show as a kid, you’re gonna want to see Ponch and John ride around on motorcycles and hit on babes, with the occasional piece of massive vehicular mayhem thrown in. And then the trailer was just a bunch of gay panic jokes. They shoulda had Justin Lin direct it. And it should have been set in the late 70s-early 80s which was the last time “motorcycle cops as chick magnets” was a believable premise.
I think a lot of it is that the RLM audience is a bunch of fuckin nerds and these are the movies we watch. They used to occasionally review artsier movies on BOTW but I suspect they just didn’t get the views that episodes about the latest Marvel filmed product get.
good to know at least someone reads our dribbles. its been more like drips compared to the volume of comments past
plus the pleasures of owning your own company
Power Rangers in particular is such a middling property I’m not sure the guys even needed to touch it. The We Hate Movies guys did a special podcast on the film, and I’m like, Why, God, Why?
Big budget b movie is exactly what Arrival was, except everyone pretended it had actual value.
I’m just a crusty curmudgeon.
yeah i got nothing out of that movie except annoyance
So is the Kong review coming next week or what?
I’m not a mister. Aside from that, it seemed like you were bitching about the content of their reviews which is something I’ve seen often enough as if HitB has changed…which it really hasn’t. It boggles my mind that people act like they’ve switched the format/content…
Only insofar as I myself sort of fell out of love with it. And my apologies, Miss Sassypants. Just assumed Rikki was a guy thing. I’m a Sam myself, so I know the pain.
This isn’t true! Once upon a time, HitB featured amazing trainwrecks, and discussions on said trainwrecks that were different than Best of the Worst, as they weren’t same-day panel-style discussions. Know your RLM history!
Like Interstellar, it kept me going right up until the goofy ending.
Therein lies the problem. I’m sure that they go into the theater hoping that the movie is either great or awful, but when it’s just okay they’re sort of committed to reporting on it.
I feel for ya, my nieces have caused me to sit through quite a few “winners” over the years.
The beer has him numb now.
Because they had that Power Rangers tape somebody donated, and there was no fucking way in Hell that they were going to review it on Wheel of the Worst.
I wish that they would have mentioned that the girl (Thuy Trang) who played the first Yellow Ranger later died in a car accident, and the guy who played the first Blue Ranger (David Yost) was constantly mocked for being gay. Just to be edgy.
Why react to a fart when the other person’s been eating chilli the past 20 years?
The only memorable thing about that movie is the Stan Winston creature design, anything else is pure mediocrity.
Will Marilyn Manson play Pennywise?
In the sequel trash bin, where it belongs. That movie was such a letdown.
Let it go.
I hope they finally made the movie Donkey Kong deserves.
– and yes, I hate Wreck-It-Ralph –
There’s a new BotW review from PreRec. Are you guys too ashamed to post it on your official website?
I think I want ‘It was fine. And then it ended.’ as my epitaph.
Not really. They did less than a handful of BotW style films, and then they spun off BotW shortly after. You people act like all they ever reviewed was stuff like Troll 2 and Galaxy Invader.
This is a stupid argument that has veered way off of what I was even saying in the first place. Assume what your want, disagree, whatever. Split hairs and have fun with it. All I’m saying is it did at one point give attention to trainwrecks. That’s all.
Also I don’t know why I wrote my original reply in such a snarky, condescending way, sorry about that.
Oh, no worries my friend. It comes with the RLM territory!
BotW and BotW in the same space could melt some flyover country moocow brains so they decided to *CENSORED*
Small correction. Calvin was not smart enough to cut communications. It just ate all the cooling liquid to survive, which inadvertently stopped them from calling for help. Great HitB episode as always anyway.
Life – Generic Title, The Movie. This here folks is what over acting looks like. Could they BE anymore over the top. No. And does it suck. YUP.
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