Half in the Bag: Krampus

December 7, 20152,147 Comments

Merry Krampus, everyone! Mike and Jay talk about the latest Christmas-themed horror film Krampus, as well as all the shitty no budget Krampus knock-offs that have come out this year. Also, Mr. Plinkett’s back!


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • tOmy`

    I shall allow this.

  • Nightmeerkat

    Alright! Right on track for making Star Wars VII be episode 100.

  • mister man

    I thought Goosebumps was Jumanji 2 when I saw the trailer.

  • The Ghost

    This really kramps my style.

    I dunno f*ck you.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Releasing this in the morning when no one on the web zone is awake or sober or not at work. I’m having kramps!

  • tOmy`

    Pandering to the EU audience.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    now you jinxed it. it’s gonna be Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip instead.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    they sure care about us! I love seeing a PreRec stream starting only at 2am!

  • Strong_Bow

    Yes. This.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    So now Krampus is Mike’s best film of 2015? Is he doing like a ‘thing’? Stop breaking your character you fucking hack fraud!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RqC5ZRDVW0

  • Palpatine

    Alright, we’re just one more episode away from the long awaited review of Alivin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip! It’s gonna be great.

  • Strong_Bow

    *swallow this

  • Just in time for *bleep*mas.

  • degriz

    πŸ˜€
    o/

  • Strong_Bow

    heathen

  • Nick_Angle

    Actually, Krampus is more of an austrian/hungarian/czech/slovenian
    folklore than german. In most parts of germany they have Knecht
    Ruprecht, who is kinda like a lame version of Krampus, without the
    devilish look.
    Just needed to point that out^^

  • Markham

    Gremlins + Tremors + Demonic Toys… good enough for me.

    Also, has anyne seen Rare Exports? it’s kinda like Krampus-themed movie, with a supposedly ancient version of Santa who is very into punishing the naughty. Also, elves that are naked homicidal old people.

  • tOmy`

    What is it with that subliminal marketing leading to your RotJ commentary track? Begging for clicks, are we?

    Well, tough luck! Ain’t nobody got time for that. Happy Christmas!

  • Micha

    Wow, saving 100 for star wars after the prequels happend. πŸ˜€

  • MPJZ

    Episode 100 will be The Force Awakens. “Again it’s like poetry, so that they rhyme”.

  • MPJZ

    It’s gonna be great.

  • tOmy`

    I don’t think we (Czech) have something similar to that. Maybe these little demons that put you in a bag if you were a naughty little fucker and drag you down to hell.

    They usually go out on 6th December in tandem with Angels and St. Nicholas, but I ain’t sure if they got anything to do with Christmas.

  • Cirric Fylenco

    Consider reviewing Wolfcop. Love to hear what RLM thinks of that movie.

  • Justin D.

    The movie is actually doing pretty well at the box office. I enjoyed it, though not as much as Mike or Jay.

  • Strong_Bow
  • Nick_Angle

    Oh okay then. I just know for sure that we’ve got Krampus in austria, the other countries were listed on the internet, so maybe just in certain areas near the border to austria?

    Anyway, most of my german friends didn’t know of Krampus before Waltz spoke about him on Fallons show, so that was really funny to me πŸ˜€

  • nocussing

    According to Mike any movie that he doesn’t hate is his new favorite movie.

  • We’ve gotten so much content in the last two weeks! Alright, what are you hack-frauds up to??

  • Palpatine

    They should’ve saved the Krampus knock-offs for the BotW Christmas special, but I guess they have something else in mind.

  • Domo

    So, is Krampus cool about fire safety as he drags naughty children below?

    Rich Evans has a thing or two to teach that little devil, yes.

  • Steven Gibbs

    spikes confirmed?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I can’t wait to finally see Sisters starring Amy Poehler and Tiny Fey!

  • tOmy`

    So I was checking up on that whole Krampus thing and yes, Czechs have their own version of it in our folklore. I got confused, because it doesn’t have to do anything with Christmas – but apparently, neither does Krampus.

    So I call bullshit, Hollywood, yet again taking advantage of our folklore and getting it wrong.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Which spike? Police spike? Spike TV? Spike Spiegel? Spike Jonze?

  • Issa Krimpus muricul!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No Christmas horror film will ever top Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.

  • Palpatine

    I think he meant Spike Lee. Or maybe Spike from The Land Before Time.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Perhaps he meant generic dog named Spike.

  • Well, well, well. Looks like I got a lump on my balls of coal for Christmas.

  • It’s fixed Goddammit! Let him watch Night Court! PUHLEASE!!!!

    Oh wait I don’t care.

  • DanceK

    Personally, I hope that the next Gremlin movie is written by Max Landis, directed by Len Kabasinski, starring Matt Hannon. Edited by Mike Stoklasa. It’s gonna be so great.

  • I think I’ve got a pretty sound reason for the surge in popular interest with the Krampus.
    There’s been this annoying trend of people trying to find ways to make things from their childhood dark, edgy, and hip, so they can still like those things as “adults”, like all those terrible fan-theories about 90’s cartoons that always end up being “THEY WERE IN A COMA” or “THEY IMAGINED THE WHOLE THING.”
    I’m not saying the legend of the Krampus itself is edgelord, tryhard garbage; just these hipsters who’re using it as an excuse to celebrate Christmas while being “quirky” and “offbeat” about it.

    This movie looks really fun though, maybe it’ll be the last film I see in a theatre for 2015.

  • Welll shiiet!

    #Stoklasa2016

  • John Bigbootay

    Huh, well it looks pretty good. Unfortunately Adan Scott is in it, but I’ll give it a try anyway.

  • Palpatine

    Wow, RLM sold out twice in one video.

  • tOmy`

    As I pointed out below, Krampus has nothing to do with Christmas. I assume they went that road because US don’t celebrate St. Nicholas as far as I know – but in here, this is nothing about being quirky or offbeat – we celebrate it every year and it is almost as popular (big? important?) as Christmas.

    Maybe that’s the reason why I don’t see it as offbeat or quirky, because in our case, it’s simply a nation-wide tradition. Hell, even in my 26, I still got presents for it.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • RLMkeepitup

    merchandise? I can’t watch it yet so I’m studying the comments to see if I can just absorb it all by osmosis this time.

  • DynamixRo

    How about that Leftovers season/series finale?

  • Palpatine

    What?

  • metalraygear

    WHOO! this was great, glad you guys enjoyed it. Looking forward to your STAR WARS review…. in about a month or so.

  • Palpatine

    That and RLM has officially jumped on The Force Awakens bandwagon.

  • RLMkeepitup

    is it a prelude/nod/hail mary/da vinci memo to what could be in the next episode?

  • I didn’t say that the Krampus story itself is offbeat, but it’s being used as such by some Americans to make their own celebrations of the holidays more “dark”.
    I can guarantee you that most of them have no idea what the original folktale or celebration really mean, all they care is that there’s a scary “anti-Santa Claus” monster whose active in December, so they have an excuse to celebrate Christmas without the usual trappings of the holiday.

  • Palpatine

    *Sigh*, yeah.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Kevin Smith is also doing a Krampus movie called Anti Claus. He’s also doing a film called Yoga Hosers. He’s also making Mallrats 2 and Clerks 3.

  • Palpatine

    He really needs to stop smoking pot.

  • tOmy`

    Possibly?

    Beats me. There is always a lot of confusion with these things. I remember one time when one US friend of mine was shocked that we don’t have Santa Claus.

    It’s like: “Oh, yea, buddy, we totally forgot to model hundreds of years of our traditions after your soda commercial from 30s.”

  • tOmy`

    Now now, there is no need to blame bad decisions on great decisions.

  • We all knew it was going to happen.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well he already lost a lot of weight.

  • fab

    The German newspaper narrative on this movie is that Christoph Waltz talked about this old folk thing on American television and some film makers picked it up. Is that really true? Mike and Jay seem to be cluesless on where this comes from…

  • Palpatine

    But which is the bad decision, and which the great decision?

  • All they need to make their traditions darker is to acknowledge what Thanksgiving was about.

    #topical

  • Palpatine

    It’s funny because I’m actually really looking forward to seeing The Force Awakens, but something about RLM jumping on its bandwagon bothers me. Do you feel the same way?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Krampus and the Ice Cream Bunny are one in the same.

  • No, because I pretty much expected them to do that. Star Wars is what brought them fame, why would they not capitalize on that now?

  • tOmy`

    Well, both of these decisions can ruin your career, but smoking pot is cheaper than making bad movies.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes.

  • Palpatine

    That’s an excellent point.

  • Tru dat.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Joe

    lol I could totally see them pulling that stunt

  • dollar store cashier wife

    keep the shitty prerec memes to twitch streams. we only approve shitty RLM-film related memes here.

  • Andrew Biggs

    It’s gonna be great.

  • LukasH

    We had them all over the place, what, friday, right?

  • Andrew Biggs

    Seconded.

  • Andrew Biggs

    It’s stylistically intended to be that way

  • tOmy`

    Yup.

  • Andrew Biggs

    Palpatinesbehinditall.

  • LukasH

    I’m just asking because I got no fucking candy.

  • tOmy`

    Sucker.

    I got fruits, gingerbread, chocolate coins and coal.

    And then I got wasted. Merry Christmas!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I need help casting Mau CauCau

  • Domo
  • Strong_Bow

    Uncanny

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Can’t find any images with a higher resolution! Keep looking!

  • LukasH

    Yeah, you can ask him on here.

  • SaatananKonemies

    One movie came to mind.. Rare Exports (2010), Finnish horror/fantasy.

  • Marvin Falz

    Maybe you feel that way, because the last HitB and the Max Landis conversation feel like selling out at one point or two.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    Who?

  • Commander X

    He’s also wearing a lot of tent-sized jorts.

  • Marvin Falz

    Did the inspiration for the eye on the sink edge in Pork Pork in Space come from the eye in the hand in The Gate?

  • Palpatine

    Ask him what? Wait, who are you? Who am I?

  • LukasH

    Don’t you pretend to be innocent, Sheev!

  • Palpatine

    What did I do now?

  • LukasH

    I ‘unno

  • Who played Tapey before Jared Leto?

  • Let him be played by himself. He’ll be happy to be there.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Steve Buscemi

  • BCFC25

    Come on guys hurry and fix that VCR so you can watch that new Alvin and
    the Chipmonks movie oh and that other movie about a war in space.

  • Nintendo until COD Hell

    Smith also did a Cinema Sins video about Star Wars episode 4. Cinema Sins was great as usual, Smith was disappointing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yeah, I love a lot Smith’s stuff but he didn’t work for that video.

  • Called it.

  • Strong_Bow

    *DickMass

  • LukasH

    What now? I like Buscemi better.

  • LukasH

    But you have a knack for casting Karen O.

  • OMNI

    Yeah! Back to normal! Hanks RLM for the awesomeness! I’m so happy!

  • OMNI

    It’s to be expected.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Your face changed. Besides if Leto was uglier he would look like Buscemi.

  • OMNI

    Maybe they were high when they saw it, you know, like on life..

  • LukasH

    Well now I am gonna be running that morph in my head the whole night.

  • Palpatine

    I hope RLM does a bait and switch thing with HitB episode 100. In they the video description and thumbnail, they should say they’re reviewing The Force Awakens, but in the video itself, they should review Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip and The Ridiculous Six with Adam Sandler.

  • spacecarp

    This movie will be great with a bag of schnapps.

  • Dr.mental

    Wow, everything is so clear in hindsight, hahaha

    Just thought i’d add, I dont see too many people stick up for George Lucas, I used to be on the hate him bandwagon, then I grew up had a family and now know theres only one thing that matters.. Ha now i cant stop thinkin of Curly from city slickers

  • spacecarp

    assmas?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well I cast someone I’m attracted to with someone I’m also attracted to.

  • Bubs

    Wow. You BOTH have iPhones? What a couple of fucking hack-fraud sellout has-beens.

  • Bubs

    I think you shoulda cast Lloyd Christmas as Karen O instead. It’s a closer resemblance.

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/04/05/05/274B391C00000578-3026106-image-m-21_1428208324662.jpg

  • James Earl Jones

    Oh, well. Guess they won’t be reviewing The Force Awakens after all…

  • Mr Flibble

    “You didn’t tell him I’ve been naughty, did you?”

    I came.

  • James Earl Jones

    That’s Eva Green? What’s wrong with her faaaaaace?
    Is it that face-o-shop kids have been using these days? Falso-shop, something?

  • infernocanuck

    I wonder, has anyone kept a tally on how many VCRs they have utterly destroyed in Half in the Bag?

  • Palpatine

    Just one. But they’ve destroyed it many times.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    3234 423

  • bassbait

    When you say your wish, that means it won’t come true!

  • bassbait

    I’m hot.

  • bassbait

    They did that over a year ago.

  • Palpatine

    Here’s the clip of Sylvester Stallone singing in Rhinestone that RLM will inevitably overuse over the course of the next few months:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y4raj5m575M

  • bassbait

    these men are pawns!

  • bassbait

    so yea, Krampus actually seems good. Too bad I’m not gonna watch it. I got all these VHS tapes to watch! Who else is gonna watch Road House?

  • Palpatine

    Exactly.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mike’s “little boys” comment might be one of the darkest things jokes on the show. I love it.

  • Marvin Falz

    They were just a couple of frauds …

  • Palpatine

    Please don’t start.

  • Marvin Falz

    … with hearts of gold.

  • Palpatine

    My VCR died years ago.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I almost made you a black man.

  • Palpatine

    Jack probably hated it.

  • bassbait

    that would work too. But it would have to be *insert joke because I’m lazy*

  • bassbait

    mine cost 5 bucks and I got it at a… somewhere.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    Krampus did well at the box office, mike!!

  • Palpatine

    Mike doesn’t know that, all he does is read news related to The Force Awakens, which will replace Krampus as his favorite movie of the year.

  • Now I Get It
  • bassbait

    I’m fine with him retiring. Not interested in seeing Rush continue *another* 20 years.

  • Holy vaginal cramp, Batman!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dropping new vids when I’m asleep is mean.

  • Why does Mr. Plinkett have a beard all of a sudden? That doesn’t even make any sense!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    On the west coast it dropped when it was like 8 AM. Fuck you, it’s my day off. Let me sleep!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was supposed to leave an half an hour ago…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Anyone else posting coal to rlm for Richmas. Red Letter Media, PO Box 400, Oak Creek WI 53154

  • Damn, Lukas is… wow. I’m getting all hot and bothered.

  • Cynical Optimist

    Wait, they’re not broadcasting from Syria???

  • I was a dying kid to whom JJ showed the Force Awakens. Chewbacca confirmed for rape.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    awww man I was going to change my profile pic… you ruined it. stop pre-emptively stealing my ideas!

  • Mailing a new VCR to RLM!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You really shoudn’t. It would only last for 30 seconds.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You Idiot Americans Use NTSC not Pal VCR’s.

  • Ejaculatio praecox is fun!

  • tOmy`

    Is there a new Fargo? Not yet? Well, internet is not worth it today, yet.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Lukas so hot right now. Lukas

  • You might as well say stop watching RLM. Eventually our brains average out together.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s fucking cold on Mount Everest. You need that beard. Just like you need a lot of back hair.

  • Oh, crap. Who’s gonna save RLM now? Will it be another Christmas miracle?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I have a VHS of Excel Promo Tape.

  • Why are you still here then? Shouldn’t you be controlling the Spice harvester?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    dude. yorke premiered LP9 material in a live gig like 3 days ago. stop ignoring exile[and me]

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Australian had a santa…. sorry.
    He was in my house late at night!

  • But with no VCR in Milwaukee left…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Can Neil Breen play the gremlins?

  • bassbait

    Me too. Soon…

  • Domo

    I would love if the Force Awakens HiTB was Rich Evans asking Jack Packard’s kids what they thought of the movie, and because the youngest is so frightened of Rich, all the review would be was the kids screaming.

  • bassbait

    oops, I meant VHS tape. I’m tired as hell.

  • tOmy`

    There is too many dog photos and sex puns to sort through. And yea, I heard about it, but it’s hardly my new LP, right?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    between the Christians and the Seppos the winter solstice has been Ripped up, changed, raped and sold for magic beans.
    Thats why I celebrate Richmas.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    At least it’s something. He also did a piano only rendition of Bloom which was out of this world level of perfection.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “it was the bestest movie ever because it had lava in it”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Richmas?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Sand worms stole it for a joy ride…

  • tOmy`

    It’s hard to get excited about all that. They constantly “premier” new stuff from Radiohead… well, according to internet.

    Sure, this might all end up on album… or not. Or on Yorke’s album. Or not. And no matter what, it will all sound different – the first Lotus Flower live was also acoustic solo version.

  • bassbait

    “How to Use Dianetics” had lava in it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    masterpiece confirmed.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Well it’s obvious that rendition of Bloom won’t get released. Which is why I’m currently raping youtube’s replay button.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I spent all day making that gun, now I’m going to have to think of a new costume.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6aa434ea57289bcc328efdd7b79239d88d50add7725b2a07c871e7f66f68f358.jpg

  • tOmy`

    He made some solid solo things like that during Latitude (it’s on youtube.).

  • dollar store cashier wife

    yeah seen that gig. it’s a really great example o how layered their work is that even when you stip it down to it’s bare bones it still works on every level.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Aw ain’t he cute. His name’s Johnny. I adopted him from a grocery store parking lot.

  • Palpatine

    I haven’t seen any lava in any of the trailers.

  • Palpatine

    You should’ve added a comedic pause between “I adopted him” and “from a grocery store parking lot”.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    and added lot.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Once Kylo Ren removes his mask he’s gonna turn out to be lava man.

  • Palpatine

    Kirk Cameron will save them by talking to them in a car for 90 minutes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And drinking invisible coco.

  • Bubs

    By the way, I just finished watching “The Man In The High Castle”, available on Amazon Prime. What a fucking piece of shit that show is. It has so much pro-American propaganda in it, it would make Joseph Goebbel’s blush. And don’t forget to add a heaping helping of white guilt!

    Also, it has possibly the worst protagonist (Alexa Davalos) in the history of television and film – nay, in storytelling, period. There are so many glaring plotholes and “what?” moments, that by the end of the season I actually had to go to IMDB to make sure it wasn’t written by Damon Lindelof. By the last episode, you know about as much information as you did in the first episode.

    That being said, it had a solid pilot episode, and the cinematography and set design was beautiful. Rufus Sewell was equally excellent in the show, and was the only character with any rationale or emotional depth. You KNOW something is wrong with your show when the audience is rooting for a Nazi SS agent.

  • DanceK

    Of course he can, Doctor. Of course he can.

  • Palpatine

    It’s an unrealistic alternate history story anyway. Fatherland is way more realistic.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was disappointed that on top of Everest there was no Crampons jokes….
    Way to alienate the climbing audience.

  • tOmy`

    Fargo? Fargo.

  • Bubs

    Unrealistic in what way? Can you elaborate so that a discussion may be birthed?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I liked the book. and I would watch Rutger Hauer in anything. Sold.

  • Palpatine

    Unrealistic because the Axis Powers conquer the world so easily.

  • Broncotruck

    well sheeeeeit

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Just play the new Wolfenstein game.

  • Bubs

    Of the many issues with the show, this is definitely the least of them. Japan wasn’t in uprising for 50 years after we defeated them. You sort of just have to say “People were scared of the German Nukes and therefore gave-in.” Kay. Got it. People are weak. And would be leaderless after a nuke fell on Washington DC.

    The show has so many more problems with it. I can easily accept that we would’ve lost the war had Germany discovered the A-Bomb first.

  • RLMkeepitup

    all the sudden? its been like a month since we saw him, its consistent.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He has seen things you people wouldn’t believe.

  • Palpatine

    Fair enough. It sounds like the Axis Powers went more of an Alexander the Great type route and conquered already existing nations, right?

  • Bubs

    Yeah, sort of. The show takes place in the 60s, so like 20 years after WW2. If you’re swinging around a baseball-bat-sized cock like the A-Bomb, I feel like that’s more than enough to bend other countries to your will.

  • tOmy`

    Sorta… but there was much more into it. It wasn’t just “bad guys want to take over the world.”

  • Palpatine

    The idea of the Cold War between America and Nazi Germany is pretty interesting. Alternative history as a whole is pretty interesting.

  • Nick_Angle

    Btw, here is a great example of how Krampus is celebrated in austria:
    https://youtu.be/Q6aE4QZYsi8

  • Palpatine

    I understand that. It’s more about life in occupied countries.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • RLMkeepitup

    pretty badass

  • Palpatine

    I think Hitler would’ve had a chance of winning in Europe even without the A-Bomb. If he wasn’t so quick to invade the Soviet Union, and decided to annex the neighboring countries before invading, he could’ve easily struck a major blow to them.

  • Your still using ballistics weapons? Dude, Phased Plasma, FTW

  • Pretty neat though. Like Ash with a mini-gun

  • OMNI

    Read the Novella by Master Phillip K Dick, fuck TV.

  • OMNI

    Seems like the view on the Christmas season is a tad more realistic then in the USA

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Except they had no Uranium and no way of getting it. fuck that. Fatherland was a much better scenario.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “I saw books burning at the Brandenburg Gate…”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It has a mount behind the barrels for my 100mw ultraviolet laser pointer. now I just have to modify a motor for the spinning.

  • eeeh

    It’s the best ‘well sheeit’ that Mike’s ever said.

  • bleurgh

    I’ve heard Ghostbusters described as a perfect movie before, but I don’t think it quite reaches that standard for me. What is your go to perfect movie?

  • OMNI

    Close Encounters of the third kind

  • bassbait

    2001: A Space Odyssey.

  • Palpatine

    The Godfather.

  • Marvin Falz

    Dr. No

    My Name Is Trinity

    Trinity Is Still My Name

  • bassbait

    Dillinger Escape Plan’s Calculating Infinity is basically the best album ever. But don’t listen to it. You’ll hate it.

  • Dr. Strangelove

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Which Gremlin would he play? The best one?

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Hollywood studio head Sheeev Palpintine:

    “Execute order, Alvin and the Chipmunks 66.”

  • Suburban Commando

  • RLMkeepitup

    Thunder in Paradise

  • OMNI

    Actually, the Germans had Uranium, and Hard water, the works. What happened is that a lot of the physicists went to Britain and the USA and developed our Nuclear weapons. The Germans also didn’t perceive they needed a nuclear bomb so it was on the backburner the whole time anyway. It was the politicizing of the German Universities that really killed the German nuclear program.

  • Jack Friday

    I watch videos of the holiday krampus events on youtube and I am envious that I didn’t come from a culture awesome enough to have a tradition like that.

  • bassbait

    Anyone remember this shit? Or am I the only one who saw this? –

    http://www.thenerdfilter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/timthumb.php_.jpg

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    These guys exaggerate how good KRAMPUS is. It’s no TREMORS. (Ba-dm-tsh!) But, they’re right about the design, creatures, props, and tone. And I really liked the ending SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER sa a lacinyc epiws ta eht ytilatnemitnes fo eht nosaes END SPOILER END SPOILER END SPOILER.

    ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

  • Bubble Lipped Tar Baby

    I wasn`t going to see Krampus at first but after watching the review I will now. Great job guys; keep it up.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Racist!

  • Bubble Lipped Tar Baby

    SJW!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Krampus is definitely NOT cool about fire safety!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    If you have an Adam Scott aversion, avoid THE OVERNIGHT by all means.

    Warning: Naked Adam Scott and Jason Schwartzman, both with paste-on phalluses (one wee and one prehensile as an elephant’s trunk).

  • Thank you Mike and Jay. You made a Christmas miracle come true.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I didn’t feel like they sold out with the brief Max Landis flirtation because Max Landis turned out to be such a fyucking weirdo. Now, when John Boyega shows up — That’ll be a sell-out.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    He’s also gaining weight at a preposterous rate.

    #LunchboxShamingIsBullying-StopIt!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    He did?

    #Nevermind,Then

  • You’re welcome, Audrey. Can I have a lock of hair from you?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Inner? She’s never met Krampus.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    His brother Cory is getting all the roles these days.

  • Only if you have a fascination with photo booths

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Here’s a dark, disgusting joke I wrote…

    Why did Jared Fogle’s partner in pedophilia get twice as strict a sentence?

    Because he was the ring-leader. Jared just diddled.

    #AllApologies

  • Palpatine

    How do you do make those stars?

  • Bien sur, chΓ©ri!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things
  • bassbait

    what the β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜… how did I not know about this earlier?

  • Seulement si vous travaillez dans un magasin de porno

  • Cakefarts

    The Krampus portrayed in – “Your Pretty Face is going to Hell” was awesome –

    http://www.adultswim.com/videos/your-pretty-face-is-going-to-hell/krampus-nacht/

  • Broncotruck

    I agree Susan

  • kylemz

    yup. unlistenable.

  • bassbait

    you just don’t know true art!

  • Lucid Flux

    Alivin’s the key to all this…

  • TheVerySpecialK

    If you guys want to watch a really wack “Krampus” style Christmas movie, you should check out Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. It’s foreign. That’s all.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

  • Percy Gryce

    Why did it take five fucking years of watching movies for Mike & Jay to introduce the concept of the “perfect movie”?

    I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, Percy, what are a few of your perfect movies?

    Why, I’ll list a few of them below:

    Zulu
    The Road Warrior
    Big Trouble in Little China

    and more recently:

    Heist
    Redbelt
    Serenity

    Please feel free to continue this thread by replying with your own perfect movies.

  • bassbait

    someone else mentioned it. Road Warrior is great but I wouldn’t call it perfect. Serenity is great too.

    My perfect movies are every Kubrick movie from 2001 to Full Metal Jacket, Eraserhead, Mulholland Drive, and honestly probably a few more. I actually think many movies are “perfect” in that they lack any flaws for me personally. And keep in mind, something can be dumb or make no sense or be dated and it won’t be a flaw to me. It just matters whether or not that particular thing irks me or not. The Terminator is almost a perfect movie, but the one thing that bothers me about that movie is the sex scene that is so fucking cheesy that it feels at odds with the tone of the movie and stops the plot dead for something stupid.

    Since Ghostbusters is a comedy, I think it’s only fair to throw in some perfect comedies – This is Spinal Tap, Monty Python’s Holy Grail, and maaaybe UHF.

  • Percy Gryce

    I’m irrelevant.

  • Percy Gryce

    Definitely Holy Grail. I would add Dr. Strangelove. And maybe Animal House–perhaps not a perfect movie, but every scene is perfect.

  • TheManHole

    One more guys until we hit the big 100!

  • Frank Rollins

    You guys better plug in the A/V cables or you wont be able to watch fucking Rhinestone for a “13th” time…

  • bassbait

    I have to debate Dr. Strangelove in my head so idk, I mean I can’t *think* of any flaws but I’m hesitant, and this comes from the biggest Kubrick fan around. I think of it more in terms of satire than comedy, but I think of several Kubrick films as satirical (Clockwork Orange, The Shining, FMJ, possibly Barry Lyndon too). I wouldn’t put Clockwork Orange on my “perfect comedies” list.

    If there is a flaw in Dr. Strangelove, it’s very very minor. Like 99.99% flawless. But I haven’t thought as hard about that film as I have his 2001-FMJ era.

    Haven’t seen all of Animal House. And to be honest, most of the best comedy I’ve seen is from TV shows.

  • bassbait

    I didn’t think you’d be so excited to see them do a retrospective of the entire “Land Before Time” series.

    That is what they’re doing for episode 100, right?!?

  • RLMkeepitup

    you’re very frank aren’t ya

  • TheManHole

    Gawd I hope so.

  • Percy Gryce

    I know I’ve said this before, but it always comes back to Rush with you Canuckians, doesn’t it?

    There’s a local D.C. sports talk radio show I listen to and one of the jocks recently suggested that Rush should play the Super Bowl halftime show. WTF?

  • bassbait

    I really, honestly thought that people buzzing about “Krampus” was a joke, like I seriously didn’t know it was an actual movie, let alone that it was a *good* movie.

    So now it looks like I have one of 3 movies this year that I actually *want* to see. The other two being Fury Road (which I saw) and Force Awakens.

    And Ex Machina looks alright I guess.

  • Percy Gryce

    And what’s the flaw in The Road Warrior?

  • Mistah J.

    I added Krampus to my yearly watch list immediately after seeing it.

  • Cakefarts

    Robocop – the original of course, was mentioned as a perfect movie by Herr Stoklasa back in the day.

  • bassbait

    Idk, pacing I guess? And a bit of tonal inconsistencies. Don’t get me wrong it *is* one of the best movies ever, so much positives going for it. But I wouldn’t call it perfect.

  • fred

    Oscar Isaac dances in it.

  • Palpatine

    My dear sweet Littlefoot, do you remember the way to the Great Valley?

  • RLMkeepitup

    even a so called flawless diamond could always be just a bit bigger, right πŸ˜‰

  • Mr Frostback

    My ten year-old kid actually wants to see this. I wasn’t going to let him but now it’s sounds a lot more promising.

    If my kid has nightmares, causing my wife to get pissed at me, I’ll just blame Mike and Jay.

  • bassbait

    why would your kid want to watch a HITB episode? Oh wait, you mean Krampus.

    Though Mike and Jay’s faces may give your kid nightmares.

  • Palpatine

    I approve of showing kids horror movies.

  • bassbait

    definitely. I heard someone say earlier that they haven’t seen the new Robocop and “heard it was better than the original”.

    I almost involuntarily barfed. Then I said “how can you be better than perfect?”

  • Mr Frostback

    Actually, my kid is really into pop culture references… more so than actual pop culture I think.

    So, he’d probably enjoy this site.

    I finally got him to the point where he’s not labeling every cultural reference an Easter-egg…

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Ghostbusters

  • bassbait

    I hope he doesn’t watch Family Guy.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I9pDK9NDZs&t=8m40s

  • Mr Frostback

    Hell no.

    Maybe when he’s 12 or 13.

  • BitchFists

    it pains me to say this but i actually miss max landis in this review

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I saw the pilot, and thought it was ok. The leading actress, cute face, but her acting…

    As for the writing, Frank Spotnitz is involved. He is the one that introduced a lot of the bullshit to the X-Files conspiracy storyline. I’m really curious to see what Chris Carter does without Spotnitz’s influence in those new episodes next month.

  • bassbait

    I know that people are gonna be hyped for the Star Wars: Force Awakens review. But to be honest? The next HITB I’m really looking forward to is the eventual Batman Vs Superman review. That film looks like such a bloated trainwreck, I want to see them rip into it. Rich better be involved.

  • The Ghost

    They really do have very good chemistry together.

  • Palpatine

    Same. The comment section is going to be like WWIII when the guys from Batman News see it. Read through the comments on the HitB of The Avengers 2 to see what I’m talking about.

  • It’s a very good album, but I think Donkey Kong is the greatest video game of all time.

  • LameSame

    Yeah, but that “Best of the Worst” episode was one of the funniest things I’ve seen these guys do.

  • bassbait

    which Donkey Kong?

  • bassbait

    Were they here when Dark Knight Rises came out?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    We have had so many WW3’s here that the next Dawn of Disqust movie should be ‘Infinity Wars.’

  • Don’t you worry. Rich will descend from the Hevans and rip it a new one.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I know this is idea stupid and will NEVER happen…. But what if its good?
    I’m scared hold me!?

  • Michael Collins

    It took me about 15 mins in before I realised they were actually serious about Krampus being a good movie..

    Looking forward to it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Lets face it. ‘New Wars: Not your daddy’s Star Trek.’ wont be as bad as the prequels but it wont be quite right. han will be part time and the rest will be ‘lost’ in a sea of lense flares.
    There wont be a lot to talk about.

  • You mean BvS or TFA? ‘Cause I don’t give a crap about BvS.

  • bassbait

    yea but you’re underestimating how fanboyish Mike actually is.

  • bassbait

    you have a point, that idea is stupid.

    Do you bleed?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    BvS.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Just another bloated comic book movie. The director is a one trick pony. I have zero interest in the actors. So, meh.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    And your faith in your friends is yours!

    …. sorry palpy hacked my account.

  • bassbait

    it’s the furthest that the comic book movie shark has been jumped. I’m hoping it’ll usher in the death of the comic book era of movies. I’m so fucking hyped for Marvel and DC to stop making movies again! I hope BvS at least nudges towards comic book annihilation. So that some other stupid trend can take its place.

  • bassbait

    I was initially going to add “your overconfidence is your weakness”.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    ROM-COM’S!!!!!
    *Fade to Black, Gunshot*

  • bassbait

    I approve. I’d much rather see 30 rom coms over 30 superhero movies.

  • Nick_Angle

    Oh yes. The Trinity movies are great classics. I loved them when I was six, and ich love the now.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    What is your problem with Batfleck making Kryptonite armor to beat Angry Spaceman with…. Space Magic?….
    ….I hate superheroes so much.
    They used to be nice now they are all dicks.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’ll skip all 60 and watch TV. call me when they start making movies again.

  • Anthony D.

    It’s so hard to tell now. So many years (crazy that it’s been years at this point) of being conditioned to believe they’re always joking at first.

  • You need to stop watching shitty mainstream shit that’s shit. It will ruin your shit.

  • bassbait

    are you telling me you don’t want to watch “Playing it Cool” with me?

  • Anthony D.

    Rhinestone confirmed for RLM Stream-A-Thon 2015? While surely nothing can beat watching the Ishtar trailer 10 times in 10 different ways, I imagine Stallone singing that song could give it a run for its money.

  • bassbait

    <—–I'm gonna be watching the most batshit crazy TV show – Xavier: Renegade Angel.
    It's funny as hell but also weird as hell, so come watch with me, at your own peril.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Sorry its not a german subtitle.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J-OCYjtUv4

  • Michael Collins

    Exactly!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Want yes… can? No.
    I live so far from the fiber optic that around here they think its a wipe for your eyes.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It seemed the logical reply. I must have felt the space left by the lack of the quote.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I’m actually glad Krampus is good. It looks like a quality made film from the trailer and something I’d get a kick out of. With an idea like that it only goes two ways: really bad or really good.

    Looks like it did fairly well on the opening weekend. 16 mil. Putting it in second place behind Mockingjay. It only had a budget of 15 mil so that’s really fantastic. We might get more stuff like this.

    Though not much else came out over the weekend.

  • Nintendo until COD Hell

    My perfect movies: Citizen Kane, 1966 Batman, Big Eyes, Star Wars episodes 4 and 6, Predator, Die Hard 1 and 3, Starship Troopers, Victor Frankenstein except for the abrupt change in attitude at the end, The Godfather, Coraline, Paranorman.

  • Thanks for the spoiler warning.

  • BitchFists

    ya they should make more max landis stuff featuring max landis

  • LukasH

    Don’t think so, I think they also care more about hating Marvel than liking Batman.

  • LukasH

    Seconded

  • LukasH

    Hell yeah.

  • bassbait

    goddamn my disc is bad.

    This is why I do VHS tapes!!!

  • tOmy`

    I am not sure how many of this is taught in US schools but the whole “how Hitler got into power and why” is pretty interesting aspect of the whole war, considering that to understand that (or to at least read up on some basics), it takes you back to World War I, socioeconomic issues, politics and so on.

    Also there is a lot of spooky shit that Nazis did (as seen in Constantine, Hellboy, Wolfenstain and many other pop culture works).

  • bleurgh

    Life of Brian > Holy Grail

  • bassbait

    Idk if I’ve even seen the whole thing yet, so… to be continued…

  • bassbait

    they went into detail but I forgot it all because I hated school.

  • bleurgh

    Total Recall in the same vein.

  • tOmy`

    Matrix
    I’m Not There
    City of God
    Inglorious Basterds
    LOTR

  • tOmy`

    Yes, this, naughty boy.

  • tOmy`

    Same here.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, and F&F: Tokyo Drift.

  • tOmy`

    Unfortunately, in Czech Republic, the trend is slowly fading away.

    When I was younger, streets were full of people in costumes. It basically works like this: If you know at least two other people with costumes, you all dress up (St. Nicholas, Angels and our versions of Krampus) and you hit the streets. Parents usually hit the streets with small kids looking for costumed people. Krampus is there to scare the shit if you, Angel will give you a cookie or something sweet if you were nice and so on. You also get a charcoal mark on your cheek. It’s a cool tradition; in most schools, it’s usually the oldest students that dress up and walk the halls / classes.

    At home, you usually get presents in stocking – nothing big, it’s mostly fruit, chocolate coins and gingerbread (+ potatoes and coal if you were a naught little bugger).

  • bassbait

    yes times 10

  • bassbait

    you missed me stream Matrix. I’d give it a 95-99% perfection, but not quite 100.

  • tOmy`

    As I said when we talked about it last time, for me it is pretty much flawless. I think it’s really up to your own personal taste when it comes to “perfect” movies; for example, I personally wouldn’t consider Robocop a perfect movie.

    Then again, I know lot of people who consider Inglorious Basterds as obnoxious and boring, LOTR being too long and boring and I’m Not There a confusing mess.

  • tOmy`

    Damn, we forgot the Whip-fucking-lash.

  • infernocanuck

    It pains me to hear you say that.

  • bassbait

    I completely blank on past conversations sometimes lol. I’m kinda extreme with my views on things in general, so for me it’s either nearly flawless or unwatchable. I’ve seen lots of films that aren’t in either category, but they tend to move towards one extreme or another over time. The Matrix gets better every time I view it so maybe in a couple viewings I’d call it “perfect”.

  • tOmy`

    “It has its moments but ultimately was disappointing and bloated.”
    – Jay
    “I almost fell asleep / I played poker in the theater.”
    – Mike
    “Something, something Justice League.”
    – Ser Evans
    “Why am I still part of this again?”
    – Jack

  • Marvin Falz

    At the latest when they stop being critical and edgy and applaude every crap that exists out there like the Paul Blar Mall Blart movie.

  • tOmy`
  • bassbait

    with Hack Snyder involved, I would assume this would be another “Man of Steel” or “Star Trek: Into Darkness” review where they just shit on it the whole review.

    And I hope Jack isn’t involved. Nothing against him, but 4 people is too much for HITB. My favorite reviews are all the ones with 3 people – Into Darkness, Man of Steel, What’s your Number, and probably the best one is the original Robocop review. It’s fun seeing them geek out about something they love for once.

  • Marvin Falz

    I love them for their humor and for the acting. The Poker scene in Trinity Is Still My Name is such a good example for conveying everything the audience needs to know just by the expressions on the faces. That is the main reason why I picked the Trinity movies and Dr. No as perfect.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of perfect stuff (and holiday monsters):

    Can someone riddle me the obnoxious success of Adele’s Number and Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp A Butterfly?

    Is there anyone on this webzone who actually listens to these?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    lol,nope.

  • Marvin Falz

    I’m scared too. What if they’re like “forget Star Wars and Empire, TFA is better” and they really mean it?

  • Marvin Falz

    Oh, you were talking about BvS.

  • bassbait

    I’m a huge fan of TPAB. You want me to go on a lengthy rant about why it’s easily the best album of 2015 and one of the best albums I’ve heard in quite some time? I have it in me.

  • tOmy`

    While I have you here: Did you hear Jamie xx’s In Colour? It’s also extremely hyped and a hot contender for electro Grammy.

    I think it might be more up your alley than mine.

    (Actually, the electro category is possibly the only thing worth paying attention to, it’s pretty packed: Chem Bros, Jamie xx, Jack Ü, Disclosure and Caribou.)

  • tOmy`

    Sure. As long as it doesn’t turn into war about whether it’s the best shit since sliced bread or accident that went utterly right. We already had that with Dark Twisted Fantasy.

    And while you are at it, riddle me why he calls 4 minute long songs an “interlude”. Is that an urban thing?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Nope but I’ve been curious about it. Heard good things.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Now I know the urban market likes music because the stole my vinyl player once.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I gave it a go but absolutely couldn’t get to it. I shall try more but right off the bat I can tell you that it’s really more for you than me.

    It’s also in almost everyone’s Top 10 this year.

  • tOmy`

    Do you think they used it for “itching” or whatever kids call it these days?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m afraid you’re alone.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    hold me!

  • Marvin Falz

    Pride & Prejudice,
    (even though I kept hearing Jack saying “she looks a lot like Keira Knightley” combined with seeing images of PadmΓ© Amidala, which took me out of the movie several times. But that’s not the movies fault.)

    Shakespeare in Love (1998)

  • Marvin Falz

    Let’s cry together!

  • tOmy`

    “But maaaaaaa, every other cheerleader listens to dubstep!”
    “Wait here, deary, mommy is gonna get a knife.”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Watch Sicario, you butt!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Jay said that.

  • bassbait

    The album is a concept album. The “interludes” are little story bits in between the bigger songs that deal more heavily with the themes of the song. And no, this shit’s way better than anything Kanye is capable of.

    So Idk if you’ve heard TPAB, or if you’ve heard Good Kid mAAd City, but Kendrick’s got some huge skills as a rapper and lyricist, and the music backing him up is always really impressive. Good Kid Maad City was an album that I would have given an 8 or a 9, it was really really good. It gave me chills, and when I heard TPAB I first thought it was a disappointment, but now I’ve realized that it’s even better. Good Kid Maad City deals with his entire life all the way up until the time of releasing that album. It’s a concept album about him growing up in compton, and he deals with everything – the positive, the negative, his internal struggles, his external struggles, the way that other people look at him, the way he looks at himself, etc.

    TPAB is basically an album for 2013, 2014, and 2015. It deals with Kendrick realizing his place in the world, as a successful black man, but as a black man nonetheless. He fell into a deep depression after first hitting it big, and that depression and the realizations he had within it, and how he got out of it, was partially due to the process of this record and partially explained in the record. The album has themes relating to being famous, being successful, having money, etc, and how those things have affected him. It also has themes about black empowerment and issues within the black community and from outside of it. In America, these are very important issues right now, what with police brutality rampant, which he directly mentions in songs like “Alright” and “The Blacker The Berry”.

    The album is very self-aware, very introspective, very cleverly constructed. He talks about how the N word is derivative of an old African word meaning “royalty”, he sings repeatedly through the album about how he hates himself, and he realizes that he needs to learn to love himself because the world around him isn’t gonna respect him so someone has to. He sings about how he’s a mortal, he’s fallible, he’s not perfect, but the way that celebrities, especially black celebrities function is that they lose all of their worth in the public eye if they aren’t perfect, and he asks people if they’ll still be fans of his if he screws up. He mentions that he knows that he can’t change the world for the better but he feels the need to try anyways. He talks about how being a talented black man, his worth in society is determined by his ability to exploit his talents (rapping skills), but realizes that his true worth isn’t in the exploitation of talent but in the talent and uniqueness itself.

    In particular, the poem that he repeats throughout the album is really powerful. What he does is he has a poem that deals with the themes of the album in general, and after certain songs, or before certain songs, he’ll recite the poem again, adding a few lines every time. Every line from the poem that he ends on becomes a foreshadow of the themes of the next song he’s going to sing. The poem as a whole talks about how his success at the expense of his community (Compton and the black community at large) caused him to hate himself, which caused him to become depressed, which caused him to turn to bad things, and when he realized he had dropped too far, he decided to go back to his old neighborhood in Compton to try to re-connect to the life that he had sacrificed by becoming famous.

    Basically, the TL;DR version is that the album sounds great, it’s really cleverly constructed lyrically, and the themes deal with his own revelations as a person and how his growing understanding of himself is both influenced by the outside world, and can be used to try to influence the world too. This isn’t your typical rap album. It’s a work of art that uses rap to get the point across. And yea I might call it perfect. It’s one of the few albums I’ve ever heard that could spark such a long discussion about themes alone. Most of the time the compositions and performances are all I get to talk about.

  • bassbait

    yea that too.

  • Marvin Falz

    Love Monty Python’s Holy Grail! I admit, I liked The Muppets (2011) a lot. It’s Disney shallowness aside and the fact that neither Jim Henson nor Frank Oz played and voiced some of the characters, I’ve seen myself entertained the whole way through. The Muppets is one of those movies which tug at your heart strings the whole time but don’t leave a sour feeling, unlike the constant sentimental music in The Theory of Everything. I mean, the drama of Stephen Hawking’s life and the way it is portrayed speaks for itself. No need for music that wants to push my feelings.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Finnish, to be exact. It’s pretty alright.

  • tOmy`

    So basically everything that has been already done, but this time done in a boring and MTV way, gotcha. Sorry, but this is exactly every other rap album, but you know… done in a rap way.

    I guess it’s nice to see rappers actually rapping about something, but again, it’s really hard to pay attention to it through that clusterfuck of a production. It just sounds so average. And as I said, the first 8 paragraphs of what you written are every rap album ever. You can say this much about Eminem’s The Eminem Show and even more. And that’s 2002.

    Also, Miley Cyrus done the exact thing this year. For free. And even that sounds more interesting. Sorry, it just reads like excuses for that Adele’s clusterfuck. “But… but… she broke up with her boyfrieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend!!!!!”

    Yea. If she is such a thrill in relationship as she is on album, well I can’t really blame the bloke.

  • Marvin Falz

    I just looked it up in the TPM Review and you’re right. Nevertheless, I heard Jack saying the line.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I listened to a couple songs from it just now. Digging it so far. Is it worthy to be among the best albums of 2015? I coudn’t tell because I barely listened to new music this year lol.

  • bassbait

    I feel like you didn’t even read what I said. And then proceeded to be really dismissive. I didn’t realize I was supposed to be defending an album against unfounded criticisms.

  • tOmy`

    I have no clue, I am on the same page as you – I didn’t pay much attention. But I have to say it is surprising that an album like this actually made it this far. I think it’s fair to say it’s gonna beat Chem Bros – the hype is too big and Echoes are kinda polarizing.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They gotta waste that Patreon money on something.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s funny because there’s nothing polarizing about like half of the songs from echoes-GO in particular got overplayed and universally liked. it’s the other half that’s splits ears.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, no, I read it. I am just not a big fan of explaining why album is good by saying “it’s about this.” Especially when you can replace the word “Compton” for “Detroit” and describe about 70 different albums.

    I am sorry, you are obviously entitled to your opinion, but I am just not buying “he talks about this, that’s why it’s good”. I could allow all this if it was at least interesting to listen to. But it ain’t. Sure, I have a different taste in rap than MTV, but this album really doesn’t do anything to me. Concept album or not, I heard this before.

    And not to defend the douchebag Kanye here, but for me, Dark Twisted Fantasy puts this album to shame. Within two songs.

    I shall give it another listen, but I am somewhat not sure if I want anymore. You see, you explained it so well that I already know anything I need, minus the production that I simply didn’t like.

    To each his own, of course.

  • tOmy`

    I love GO and I loved it since I heard it for the first time – but it gets quickly overshadowed by many songs on that album, especially Sometimes, Neon Lights and Born In The Echoes.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Kanye can be a douchebag all he wants. People miss out on good music because they can’t separate art from the artist. If I can watch Polanski films no problem then a mere egomaniac is like a kitty for me.

  • tOmy`

    Fair to say, if he wasn’t a douchebag, the in-your-faceness of BDTF and Yeezus wouldn’t happen.

    And that would be sorta shame. That’s the reason we can allow him claiming he is the God.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Has some neat ideas. It’s alright.

  • bassbait

    art isn’t about aesthetic alone. A movie can look great and be utterly meaningless if the themes aren’t there. The themes are what makes To Pimp a Butterfly go from a great album to a masterpiece. I’d love to hear you name 2 albums that deal as extensively with all of those themes that I mentioned, because it sounds like you’re just being dismissive. And those weren’t even all the themes of the album.

    But I think the music is great too. Kendrick’s got a lot of different styles to his singing, from rapping to melody, layering, voice tones, etc. The production is solid with a combination of different styles which keeps it from drying up, and the guest vocalists are actually useful instead of just thrown in. I think the melodies are great especially on “Wesley’s Theory” and “These Walls”

    I agreed with you the first time I heard it. I had to give it multiple listens before it really sank in. The difference is that eventually I felt something strong. And that’s more important to me than anything else in art, of any kind. I went from thinking it was overrated and “meh”, to thinking it was a masterpiece, because it eventually started to settle in for me. Just saying, maybe don’t be so dismissive. And respect that there’s a *reason* why it’s getting such high reviews that goes deeper than just “overrated hack”.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And when it’s early, they decide to play NFL, You know, a sport us Euros care so much about.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • tOmy`

    Alright, I shall give it another listen, sure. Don’t get me wrong, even though I might have come off as dismissive, I was just (at least in the first reply) taking a piss and being a bit hyperbolic.

    And sure, when it comes to albums that have… themes… in rap music… about hard times. Well, let me think, except every rap album ever that is worth mentioning, here are some examples (just off the top of my head; mostly stuff I was listening to this month):

    Eminem – The Eminem Show
    Hilltop Hoods – Drinking From The Sun / Walking Under Stars combo
    Aku Naru – The Journey Aflame
    N.A.S.A. – The Spirit of Apollo

    I mean fuck, even Fort Minor has different depressing themes. It’s just the way these people roll…

  • tOmy`

    That was my first thought as well.

  • bassbait

    This is where I’m referring to “dismissive” – you boiled down what I said to a straw man version of what the album is in order to make a joke about how it’s every rap album. Not every rap album talks about all of the things I mentioned, which is what I was asking for examples of. Plenty of rap albums go into some of the themes, but none of them go into all of the themes. And Kendrick tells them in a way that provokes a lot of thought, and makes you think, especially if you’ve had to deal with similar things that he has.

    I’m not going to share all the details of my personal life, but 2015 was a year that I almost didn’t survive, for a number of reasons. It was a fucking nightmare day after day. Some really hard shit happened to me. And at the end of the day, Kendrick sang about a lot of things that I struggled with, and came to similar realizations that I came to, and those realizations are important not just to me but to a lot of people who have to deal with some heavy shit. Reducing a complex series of internal struggles and revelations to a few paragraphs on a webzone does nothing to help get past the hard shit in life. Making art to try to express the state your mind is in does. And finding art that expresses a similar state does as well. I know from experience on both ends.

  • tOmy`

    I am sorry, but it does read like every other rap album. “Black people having it hard” is like the official blueprint of successful rap schlock. They might not go into all the themes, sure, but they also go to different themes.

    Hence me mentioning couple of those albums. You can talk for hours about every other part of The Eminem Show; Sing for the Moment itself is tackling a lot of topics and themes while brilliantly abusing Dream On for each different theme.

    And yes, I boiled it down. Now seeing that there is some personal connection between you and the lyrics, I know it might sound harsh that you can “boil it down”, but yea, you can. Just read the third paragraph again: “It deals with Kendrick realizing his place in the world…”

    I am sorry, but if I had a penny every time I heard this on a rap album, I would be Jay-Z. And as I said, even Fort Minor did this. Or I can constantly repeat myself: The Eminem Show. 2002.

    You see, when people have it bad, they usually turn to rap. There is a reason for it. Just like people turned to blues back then.

  • LukasH

    “I like it”

    “I don’t really, but whatevs.”

    It’s not hard, guys

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Shh… It’s called a “discussion”, Lukas.

  • tOmy`

    Collapse, leave the area and tell an adult. Make a sex pun, upvote.

  • LukasH

    Whatevs

  • You’re reading too much into it. They don’t care about us, the unwashed masses of the commentzone.

  • Well, Polansky has got one advantage. I don’t have to watch him or listen to him talk while enjoying his art.

  • LukasH

    I don’t go out of my way to read anything Kanye has to say. I liked Late Registration a whole lot. And 808s, but then, I don’t have a good taste.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    if anything they hate us.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    hey this is fun to read so get out of here you peace police you!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    touchΓ©

  • LukasH

    I’m actually just being a douche.

  • Domo

    *they love to hate us.

  • Marvin Falz

    They only use us for their plans.

  • Domo

    If those plans involve Rich Evans falling down a lot, I’m fine with it.

  • Marvin Falz

    Being a pawn in the Rich Evans game of falling down a lot is more honor anyone of us deserves. Ever.

  • Domo

    So, what you’re saying is, they kinda like us?

    It’s gone full circle.

  • Marvin Falz

    I believe wholeheartedly that they like some of us regulars.

    I hate to paraphrase The Phantom Menace, but RLM and their fans form some sort of symbiont circle. That’s why I subsume everyone involved – the gang and their fans – under RLM and call it the RLM experience.

  • Now I Get It

    Thanks, Chauncey, I knew I could count on you to attend the passing parade.

    The jock’s suggestion was Rush fan-logical but historically odd. Those halftime acts have always been either traditional, nostalgic, or of-the-moment. Rush is none of those.

    The only rock band that would have fit that bill, mostly, was Fleetwood Mac playing but one song, “Tusk”, which features an actual marching band.

    But like the Playboy interview or the SNL hosting, the show has been reduced to a mere HINO (Honour in Name Only).

  • bleurgh

    Saw Spectre tonight. They were always going to struggle to follow up Skyfall, which was one of the best Bond movies they’ve ever done, but they got pretty damn close to it in terms of quality. They chose to raise the stakes in this one and introduce a recurring villain, criminal organisation and possibly recurring love interest. Unfortunately the movie kind of got fucked by Mission Impossible Rogue Nation which had exactly the same plot. The dreadful theme song and tentacle porn intro was probably the weakest part of the whole thing.

  • bleurgh

    Why did Adele cross the road?

  • tOmy`

    To say Hello from the other side?

  • bleurgh

    Damnit!

  • Now I Get It

    “Why did it take five fucking years…?”

    Here shall you find your answer.

    http://www.sourcetext.com/grammarian/gift-of-fire/00.htm

    The boys are right on schedule.

  • IIRC, Mike is a bigger Trek fanboy than a Wars fanboy, and he seemed lost about Into Darkness as a film. He ended up talking about it more like it was a cancer diagnosis: something that was just inevitable if you lived long enough.

  • tOmy`

    So let’s address the unidentified elephant (GET IT?) in the room: Fargo? Fargo.

  • tOmy`

    I heard so many different reviews of this that I am still not sure whether I want to see it or not.

  • playdude92 .

    Judging from all the blow and cotton candy covering the furniture, Plinkett and Santa must have had the weirdest of all orgies in there.

  • Domo

    I wouldn’t even know to recommend it unless you watched all the Daniel Craig Bond films.

    My 2 problems are trying to make the DC Bond films one encompassing story, when really, Quantum and Casino are a 2 parter, with Skyfall being its own, distinct entity.

    Second, Bond kinda walks into Spectre without any real personal issues to solve.

    In Casino, he’s a reckless, arrogant agent who trusts the wrong people. Solved!

    In Quantum, he’s choosing between vengeance and loyalty for friends and country. Solved!

    In Skyfall, he’s trying to remain hip when he’s old enough to get a replacement hip, on top of his past catching up with him. Solved!

    You walk into Spectre and there’s really nothing to throw at a Bond character that gives him much of an effective arc. I’ll probably buy the damn film because the husband loves Lea Seydoux so much, but I’m definitely not going to watch it as a full marathon the way the Bond producers want me to.

  • tOmy`

    Well, I very much enjoyed Casion and Skyfall was (from my point of view) absolute gem. I don’t remember much from Quantum, but I know I didn’t hate it…

  • Domo

    Skyfall was wonderful to me because it did a great job of using visuals to portray what Bond was thinking with a Bond designed to not be much of a talker. Even the Adele intro was great at going “This movie is going to be dealing with impending death and uselessness. No hot babes or big action scenes here.”

    Spectre is much more of a “I’m a badass” type of film that the team worked so hard to stray from. If you go into the film knowing that, and knowing Monica Bellucci is a total throwaway character, you might enjoy it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    My problem with Spectre was how tacked on the “I was behind it all” twist was. Blofeld just kind of throws it out there and we’re supposed to believe him without any evidence. I guess Silva is kind of logical since he was all about hacking and stuff. But the others? I don’t think so.

  • bleurgh

    It’s worth seeing, I didn’t find myself bored at any point even if some of the beats were kind of predictable.

  • RLMkeepitup

    when they started smashing bonds nads it was getting a tads to serious for me and no Q was a big downer. The action felt more like jason bourne films, serious and mostly lacking humor. I liked skyfall too though, but with casino I think Craig had the weakest entry film into the series.

  • Domo

    Oh see I loved the busting his nads bit! I thought that was hysterical while showing he couldn’t be bargained with in that way, but going after his lover just might.

    It was interesting to me, especially Bond going “Now the whole world is gonna know you scratched my balls!”

  • RLMkeepitup

    haha. well I guess goldfinger was basically laser on nad action, its just a tonal shift as the casino scene was like a terrorist interrogation clip. Like seeing bond be waterboarded, Oh wait they did that too in die another day.. why am I complaining again?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s very silly how there was all this buzz about “the oldest ‘Bond girl’ yet!” when she has no stakes in the plot at all. I don’t even remember why Bond went to see her, other than to do the sexies. Overall, I thought the “Bond girl falls for Bond’s irresistible charm” schtick felt extremely out of place considering the tone of the movie.

    “What do we do know?”
    -“Let’s fuck.”

    That scene was there just because a scene like that has to be in a Bond film.

  • RLMkeepitup

    almost every bond woman is a potential throwaway. except Ms. Onatopp, I would have kept her around she was fun.

  • Nick_Angle

    Absolutely. Like you say, it’s all in the expressions, the scene is hilarious with nearly no dialogue – One of the reasons, why those movies are kinda timeless.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I saw it last Saturday. It’s not quite on the level of Skyfall but it’s a close second. The action scenes were a joy to look at and extremely well shot. I liked the introduction of more campy Bond elements, like the gadgets on the car and the Jaws-like Super Naziβ„’ guy. Other than the issues I mentioned below, it’s a really solid film.

  • Mark Bisone

    I just can’t relate to these Craig Bond films. Madam Bisone likes to point to a particular scene in “Layer Cake” and say “This was his Bond audition.” I think that was true, but never really saw it recaptured in any of the actual movies.

    I think maybe my trouble is much the same that Plinkett had with Indiana Jones. Fleming’s Bond (and the Bond of most of the Saltzman-Broccoli pictures) was not so much a character as he was a collection of archetypes and idioms. When those are stripped away in favor of character development, you’re left with a secret agent-y fellow who might as well be named Jones…Jack Jones.

    That goes triple for his fellow agents (Moneypenny, Q, multiple M’s), who seem to be developing into a Mission Impossible-like team… with the inevitable “We’re a family” theme slathered on top. I thought one of the best, most enduring aspects of Bond in all his former incarnations was the central conceit of a debonair, worldly assassin who nevertheless must report back to a bunch of bureaucratic stiffs with desk jobs. When you remove that contrast, it just doesn’t feel like Bond anymore.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I thought bond was a misogynist dinosaur, a relic idol that crumbled outside the shadow of the cold war. And then when M said I miss the cold war, I think she was speaking from the writers perspective?

  • Mark Bisone

    I know what the boys mean when they spoke of that almost intangible quality of great 80’s genre films that makes them so superior to their modern counterparts. It’s not exactly “innocence”… more like a easygoing unpretentiousness and a basic understanding of what makes a story work. In action and/or horror storytelling, novelty is almost always a mistake. It can contain experimental elements, but unless they are arranged within a recognizable pattern, the experiment usually blows up in your face.

    That’s what made directors like Dante and Donner — who aren’t generally considered very artistic — perfect for their material. It’s also what sucks the life out of Zack Snyder’s work. He (mistakenly) thinks he’s an auteur, and therefore can tell a story any way he likes.

  • Domo

    See, I never saw other Bond films, so for me, DC Bond seems like a more intelligent spy/action film than others I’ve come across, which is what attracts me to them.

  • Mark Bisone

    I don’t think it’s impossible to re-position Bond outside the context of the Cold War. I agree with those who say the world is an even more dangerous place, now, and rife with opportunities for a ruthless government hitman to practice his trade.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    this is probably the first episode of the entire series that’s gonna be divisive.

  • Domo

    Is there a Bond film you’d most recommend?

  • RLMkeepitup

    True that. So long as they don’t make it too strong a character piece and keep it a fun ride. I remember when they had Roger Moore bond have a wife (who quickly died but even that felt outta place). He visited her damn gravestone and stuff.

  • Mark Bisone

    Hmmm…

    Sean Connery: “From Russia With Love”, “Goldfinger”, “Dr. No”, to start with.

    Roger Moore: “The Spy Who Loved Me”, “Live and Let Die”

    Pierce Brosnan: “Die Another Day”

    (I wouldn’t waste much time with Dalton’s or Lazenby’s Bonds, but there are so few of those to begin with.)

  • tOmy`

    The ratings on AV club are pretty much consistent. I am actually surprised how many people are sold on the [redacted] idea. While I was a fan from the beginning, now it seemed kinda unnecessary – but Peggy did save it.

    The only minor issue is the narration for Hanzee’s motivation for me. I didn’t exactly need it.

  • Knock yourself out buddy. I did ya a solid and changed my pic. I do this for all RLM fans to see, we must think of each other and wear corduroys and let out fellow posters post pics of themselves with miniguns. The Gods have given us this power, use it.

  • tOmy`

    That one in spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaceeeeeeeeeeeeee.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    well I meant divisive as in purely for the [redacted] moment. the whole episode has been good but on the same level as everything we’ve seen before it-the [redacted] moment however was not unlike anything before. the interesting thing to me is that the whole episode frames this story as an “urban legend”…they even got martin freeman to narrate it(goodbye fourth wall). so maybe [redacted] is nothing more then fiction replacing missing facts over time.

  • RLMkeepitup

    no goldeneye love?

  • tOmy`

    Yup. A lot of people said that – we sorta have to keep in mind that it “based on the accounts of the survivors” – could be very much an account of Peggy, who is bonkers. Someone pointed out that both [redacted] moments occurred when she was around.

    But then there is Hank’s room and “accounts” of it happening around that time anyway.

    Also: I could watch them cars slowly gliding through street for whole day. What a shot. And I felt a little Guy Ritchie moment (down to soundtrack) during the preparation for the ambush.

  • TheManHole

    It’s good to show contempt for your audience.

  • Mark Bisone

    Brosnan felt a little stiff to me in that film, like he hadn’t yet figured out how to play Bond. It had good elements to it though. That goes for all of Brosnan’s films, but by “Die” I think he really nailed the role down, and the over-the-top, campy lunacy of the plot and villains was better than almost anything in the Moore era.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the intro was Wes Anderson-y and the freeze frames were Scorsese. Get in line Ritchie.

  • harumph

    Am I the only one who noticed that they were making fun of how Max drinks beer?

    Seriously, am I the only one? I’m not reading through all these comments.

  • Domo

    Zack Snyder is totally an auteur. Who else but him could so effectively put an IHOP logo into a storyline for comedic effect while saying so much about the corporate breakfast diner industry?

    Take that, Denny’s!

  • You guys should do a Tremors commentary track. I need an excuse tonwatchbthatnmovie again.

  • Strong_Bow

    Great suggestion Mr. John.

  • LukasH

    On her Majesty’s Secret Service, for Diana Rigg mostly.

  • Mark Bisone

    I found his oft-repeated 7-11 motif to be a powerful commentary on the naive consumerism of the masses prior to the World Trade Center attacks.

  • LukasH

    Lazenby wasn’t a good Bond, but he was in a good movie. You are not really serious suggesting Die Another Day, are you? Other than for the schlock.

  • Domo

    One day, Zack Snyder will have a documentary made about his greatest cinematic works called Room 300.

    It is there where we’ll get to discuss how Snyder’s interpretation of the Sears logo is the most empowering logo for women in the modern age.

  • Alex

    Serenity? Have you taken a blow to the head recently?

  • Mark Bisone

    See, what he did was recontextualize Sears for the post-gender, post-human, post-logic, trans-factual world. So when it blows up, we’re all basically staring into Nietzsche’s vaginal abyss.

  • Domo

    See, I always thought Dillards was the reason for my Phallic fixation.

    Thank you, Zack Snyder, for helping me resolve my psycho-sexual developmental issues the way Freud could not.

  • LukasH

    My womb-envy is off the charts here.

  • Mark Bisone

    I know what you mean. Before I saw the “man of steel” knock down all those giant concrete phalluses, I was a mere pawn of the patriarchal hegemon. Now I think I’ve been promoted to a captain or bishop of some sort.

  • Domo

    Some people see their true calling with crumbling concrete phalluses, other see it with the post coital bliss that is a laser beam shooting into the Earth’s inner sanctum.

  • Domo

    You’re suffering from pre-coital tristesse.

    There is help. Just not here.

  • Palpatine

    I have a feeling that RLM is going to make commentaries on the Star Wars movies that they haven’t already done commentaries on yet.

  • Palpatine

    You should oxygenate it then.

  • Mark Bisone

    Absolutely. The schlock was what made it great. It was like a more fun and watchable “Moonraker.” When I’m in the mood for a zanier Bond flick, that’s usually my go-to film.

  • LukasH

    I mean, I was hoping for Empire for a long time now.

  • Manioc

    Goldeneye. Enter the Dragon. Die Hard, as mentioned in the episode. Dredd. Maybe Terminator 2.

    I’m having a tough time coming up with non-action movies to list. Possibly Chinatown. Action films probably constitute only a third of what I watch, but I think it’s generally a lot simpler for them to be “perfect” at what they set out to do.

  • LukasH

    I should rewatch it, it had this very industrial feel to me the first time around.

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

    And two Plinkett commentaries on the other two Prequels would be awesome.

  • Manioc

    I would have called Strangelove perfect the first time I saw it, but on subsequent viewings some scenes have come across as gratuitous. The one with Col. Bat Guano, and Slim Pickins riding the bomb (iconic though it might be) come to mind.

  • Manioc

    Each trailer is worse than the last. It’s a marvel of modern cinema!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Watching Inside Out now and it’s good. It’s very very creative but the celebrity voices are extremely distracting.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *rectum

  • Snake Squeezer

    Gary the dog. And what’s that drug that makes you speak the truth again? Cocaine?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI-pwktI8AQ

  • Alcohol?

  • @domo_konnichiwa:disqus @markbisone:disqus
    http://i.imgur.com/UQjWwjM.gif

  • LukasH

    Sodium Pet Menthol

  • General Leia? I thought she’d be the wicked witch of Endor. She is over 30, so it’s only right.

    #plentyofwitchroles

  • Palpatine

    Her planet was destroyed, so she can’t exactly be a princess anymore, can she?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Soon you will appreciate blow”
    -Jabba the Hutt

  • *butt

    #bawahaaha

    #thatonenevergetsold

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Remember when Carrie Fisher was sexy? Now she’s the anthesis of sexy.

  • I don’t know what George originally envisioned, Maybe it will be revealed in the Special Edition Blue Ray Star Wars Original Trilogy Commentary Track. But probably not.

  • Palpatine

    “Um, Princess Leia, she’s um, you know, the reluctant damsel in distress. Uh, and Carrie did a great job playing her, um, even though I told her not to wear underwear, ha ha ha ha!”

  • TheManHole

    I was more into Luke myself he use to be such a cutie, now he is just a hermit.

  • Agreed. It’s a masterpiece of flawlessness. Too bad Niell Blomkamp and Kevin Smith are not here at this webzone.

    #whatahit2017

  • “This was the first time a black woman appeared on the silver screen. Carrie Fisher is a true pioneer. Princess Leia has a right to fight for her planet, the same as any American.”

  • tOmy`

    … or maybe he is a SITH LOOOOORD!

    DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUN

  • *shitlord

    #tooeasy

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe he’s Kylo Ren. DUN DUN DDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Tshi

  • tOmy`

    … or maybe he is… who else is in that movie again?

  • Hey, you leave duck meat out of this!

  • CAPTAIN PHASMA

  • Snake Squeezer

    “Go see it, if you’ve heard it’s good.” -General Fisher.

  • tOmy`

    You know, I promised myself to finally google who that is… like five times already…

    Maybe I have. But my brain just didn’t care.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Snake Squeezer

    That’s just mean. We all get old.

  • It’s not Admiral Ackbar’s child, is it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But Helen Mirren is still fuckable.

  • tOmy`

    For some fucking reason, even though I could see it coming from parsecs away, I still bursted into laughter.

  • tOmy`

    No, his child is Allahu Ackbar.

    I bet noone made that joke before.

  • Star Wars is almost 40 years old and no one cares of that big flop. The prequels were awesome of course and helped redeem the franchise. But what we really want is another TNG Star Trek Movie.

  • Is that Kosher?

  • luvs2pwge

    Hopefully there’s a battle scene in the new star wars between the Millennium Falcon and a Klingon Bird of Prey which would be the only redeeming feature of the hogwash crap they are going to release.

  • DanteSuckfest202

    The rare episode that (1) tells me about a movie I had not heard of (2) that had I heard of I would not have been at all interested in (3) that I now really would like to see.

    Good show.

  • Snake Squeezer

    OOOHHHHHHH MYYYY GODDDDDDDD!!

  • luvs2pwge

    lol

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Two Golden Girls One Depends

  • tOmy`
  • luvs2pwge

    The tragedy is the prequels were slowly turning into a distant memory and now PTSD is going to come back for a lot of people.

  • tOmy`
  • tOmy`

    Prequel Trauma Stress Disorder?

  • luvs2pwge

    The very same

  • Snake Squeezer

    C3PO vs Data, in a linguistics battle, to the death!

  • Snake Squeezer

    Chewbacca vs Worf

  • Data wins by way of being able to perform cunnilingus.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m being harassed online by a Prequel fanboy. It’s very funny. He thinks they had “artistic integrity.”

  • Snake Squeezer

    cause he’s fully functional!

  • Snake Squeezer

    What does he think of “The Master”?

  • TheManHole

    Wait what?!? The sad part is the prequels are objectively bad movies. Not even just bad Star Wars movies, just bad movies. If the prequels had come out first with the same stunted dull dialog there only would have been one movie since it would have never taken off the way Star Wars did.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t know but he calls me a fuck face a lot.

  • Snake Squeezer

    He must not have seen it, or else he would know you’re really a sand fucker.

  • Palpatine

    It’s not that ColoClawFish guy is it?

  • Palpatine

    “Hogwash”, never thought I’d hear someone say that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s a friend of his but I have a theory they’re the same person.

  • Like Icare

    Nah… it was the entire retarded intro that was the weakest part.
    A while back I gave up at about the end of it followed by the unnecessary exposition to backsplain what just happened.

    And then it continues being rather stupid.
    More like a montage of things they needed to cram in there than an actual movie with a plot.
    Hi Monica Bellucci! Bye Monica Bellucci! Hi Bond-car! Bye Bond-car! Hi humor! Bye humor! Hi reference! Bye reference!
    BTW… Anyone notice that the M now stands for Angry Police CaptainTM?

    It is a really bad movie somewhere until the end of the car chase.
    Then… it gets better. Even good. It’s almost as if someone… wrote it.
    Then, for a while, things start having an actual plot, while actions lead to further plot points. Find guy – get info and instruction to find and protect girl – find girl – chase bad guys – save girl – make sense of info thanks to girl…
    Unlike… you know… that car chase.

    And someone clearly did some research while writing the script… and you can almost see it in that scene when Q does his magical laptop thingie stuff that somehow finds not only fingerprints and DNA off a ring but also trace minerals found in only 5 locations on the planet – all of them meteorite craters. Get it?!
    You may have seen it – but your brain DIDN’T.

    Seriously. It’s there on Q’s laptop. Reidite.
    Found during autopsies of all previous villain’s.
    That sort of thing is a plot device. A clue. Piece of a puzzle. Information that the hero needs to solve the case/mystery.
    But it was apparently too… something. Too simple? Too CSI? Too complicated? Whatever.

    Instead there is a secret room that only a mouse can get in and out of, and the room is full of “stuff”, which includes a map of the main villain’s lair.
    And then the movie goes into montage mode again… with things happening “because”.
    A ghost train with clearly no one else on board… except the henchman who tries to kill them… though his boss is clearly expecting them.
    He has a whole presentation ready and a special torture chair and all.
    Oh… and they are suddenly madly in love. And then Craig whispers in Latin… because.

    And then there’s that thing where this movie continues the series of underwhelming villain plots – like every single one of them so far.
    Oh noes! Villain will win a poker tournament and get money to pay for… wait for it… smuggling guns to sexy African children.
    Followed by the plot to steal water – which is a thing that Coca Cola and Nestle do.
    Then… villain’s plan is to get caught… so he could escape… and run through the streets straight into a courtroom and start shooting around.

    This time villain sets himself up as far away from the internet as possible in order to monitor all of the internet. Brilliant plan there. Ernest. Learned that in camp? Or while working with Santa?
    And his motivation is… daddy liked Craig’s list better, so I became a supervillain.

    Despite it all… movie manages to be fun for the most part…
    Until the final fight that’s just… unconnected and random and stuff happens.
    And then the secondary villain dies because… whatever. While primary villain doesn’t because… whatever.
    And because Craig grew a heart apparently. Remember him killing people left and right throughout the movie? Yeah… well… that was OK but this would be bad.

    All in all… it’s fun but rather forgettable.
    Probably the most entertaining one of these Craig movies… but that’s not saying much.

  • You know what would be better than 10 hours of Ishtar trailers during this year’s stream-a-thon? 10 hours of Careboars.

  • Palpatine

    Stream-a-thon ain’t happening this year.

  • Palpatine

    I hope you’re wrong.

  • Yeah. I know and I’m sad. But I’m thinking of doing one at the Manhole.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *deep inhale preparing for a large over the top no*

  • Palpatine

    Me too.

  • Palpatine

    Jay doesn’t feel like putting it together because people recorded the last one.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Understandable and reasonable but sad. At least we don’t have to pay to watch it. #ScamJunkies.

  • Like Icare

    Remember that scene where Bond uses his secret gadget?
    A photocopier so big he uses a crane to get it in and out of the building. Instead of… I don’t know… taking some photos.

  • tim
  • Trask

    I don’t get it, why exactly is this a problem?

  • Someone recorded the whole thing and put it up on the web.

  • Trask

    Again, why is this a problem? Is it the views? If so, why doesn’t he just put it online himself.

  • It had Feeding Frenzy there.

  • Palpatine

    Good idea, what do you have in mind for it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I hope we don’t do this again
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSaaa_OBkzw

  • Marvin Falz

    Me too. That was a perfect set up and payoff.

  • Palpatine

    I know this sounds wrong, but I kind of want to find it.

  • I think it would be fitting if we had Christmas themed schlock but anything will do, really.

  • Cinema auteur Neil Breen’s other movie “I am here… Now” screening at the Manhole… NOW. https://cytu.be/r/TheManhole

  • RLMkeepitup

    the 8th wonder of the world

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Any Ice Cream Bunnies involved?

  • We might compile a list at Exiled or do a Wheel of the Worst kind of thing.

  • Palpatine

    A Christmas thing sounds cool. Fun in Balloon Land has Santa in it, so can we play that?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Never trust that lady or Shaq

  • Herbert West

    I imagine the problem is that the entire exercise is technically an act of piracy. If the stream isn’t allowed to be the piece of, um, ephemera that it is intended to be, then maybe Jay is worried about it drawing the wrong sort of attention. Especially if you consider how popular RLM over the years… maybe they are just too big to get away with stuff like this anymore.

  • Like Icare

    If you liked the Bond movies for what they are – Die Another Day is an archetypal Bond movie and a love letter to the fans.
    Apart from that The Clash moment that came from nowhere.

    Everything else is Easter eggs and references and classic Bond scenes and action.

    And if you doubt that Bond is supposed to be schlock…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ1w0-GpODU

    …just pick up any John le Carre novel/movie for comparison.
    Some of them even star former Bonds.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_le_Carr%C3%A9#Film

  • Herbert West

    I remember where I first heard of the Krampus, it was “A Very Venture Christmas”.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7qLbJUPC10

  • I love Venture Bros.

  • tOmy`

    Well, as we said many times, all the stuff shown is indeed on youtube – with a small exception of Feeding Frenzy and other RLM stuff.

    It’s basically a piracy of a piracy that got pirated. Arrrrrrrgh!

  • I think someone posted a link on reddit when it was uploaded. I doubt it’s still there, though.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • LukasH

    I love the schlock in Bonds, but I didn’t get the love letter vibe, rather I felt that they focused way too much on being something of an ultimate Bond movie, while disregarding any idenity of the piece itself. Three things bug me the most – way too much CGI for a franchise which is known and loved for the amazing stuntwork, to me, totally boring villain and Berry phoning it in. It’s been proven since the sixties that Bond girl definiely could do more than just look good in a bikini (not buying the “She’s a badass too” argument, that gets disproven way too many times in the film itself).

    For a serious spy stuff, you got it right with Le CarrΓ© adaptations. One of the best thing ever are the Alec Guiness George Smiley miniseries.

  • Yes. But I say we spin it on the day of the stream.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Palpy would love watching Fun in Balloonland again.

  • tOmy`

    It’s missing Love Actually.

  • Herbert West

    Yeah, I know. I really just think it’s the showing other people’s stuff part and not wanting to associate RLM with online piracy. Only Jay knows though, it’s just a guess.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s enjoyable though.

  • 1/5 A perfect Niel Breen movie,

  • Like Icare

    Original Bond movies are all about him versus a global crime organization.
    Cold war is practically unacknowledged until You Only Live Twice where it is kinda an element… then it is gone again until The Spy Who Loved Me… where MI6 and KGB fight a supervillain together.

    There’s no real cold war Bond until For Your Eyes Only.
    And even then… his primary foe is always some Bond villain with a plan for world domination.
    He never fought against a government intelligence agency of a foreign country.
    Closest he got were “Chinese” working with Goldfinger and being captured by Russians in Goldeneye and North Koreans in Die Another Day.

    Now… if only Lucas figured out how to do what they did with Bond for all those years – only with Indiana Jones.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • I think it’s even better than Double Down.

  • Like Icare

    It’s the ring. One ring to bring them all…

    Except they forgot to include that prominently earlier AND to give more than a single screenshot that’s flashed on a laptop for a fraction of a second to the explanation that the rings were made from that meteorite.
    Maybe it will be further explained in the novelization? Or in the video game? Coloring book?

  • Herbert West

    Well everyone got paid. And I know from that bit the RLM reviews that Lucas was worried about “beating” Titanic which is evidence enough for a lack of artistic integrity. I would imagine that it would be extremely difficult to come across a Hollywood blockbuster with artistic integrity. They are all made with the explicit purpose of earning a shitzillion dollars, which is the antithesis of artistic integrity.

  • Like Icare

    Oh… Obi Wan was fantastic there.
    And then Picard shows up and he interrogates him.
    And Picard is all “There are no lights… so I’ll take your lighter.”

    As for DAD CGI… I don’t know… Never found it THAT annoying.
    And it’s only a few scenes. Not really that big a deal.
    And Halle Berry was OK… just maybe… a bit too famous for a Bond girl. It breaks the illusion.

    It’s like watchin porn and then you realize that’s Tom Sizemore…

  • CANCER CHEMO KICKING MY ASS!

    #BOYHOOD I WANNNA TALK ABOUT BOYHOOD!

  • Marvin Falz

    I spinned the wheel and it stopped at Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I want to see this one.

  • Like Icare

    “We” as in humanity?

    But didn’t the new United Nations declare that no Earth citizen
    could be made to answer for the crimes of his race or forbears?

  • Like Icare

    You should get some of them good drugs instead. And put them in the tea. Put them in the tea!

  • Domo

    And don’t forget to take a little sniff of the deadly white gas. Y’know, to test its deadliness.

  • He sniffed Breen gas on the Breen screen. There is no turning back now.

  • Like Icare

    Piracy? It’s not even grand theft auto.
    More like kids stealing a car and taking for a joyride, then leaving it by the dumpster somewhere.

  • Contribute.

  • Like Icare

    Note the child abuse by Nsink.
    They think it’s fun to get all microagressive at little girls just because they are related to Jesse Eisenberg.

    Well… Justin Timberlake is being a microaggressive dick.
    Lance Bass apparently just can’t get the idea of marrying a little boy out of his head.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSaaa_OBkzw&feature=player_detailpage#t=175

  • Breen is my personal Jeansus

  • I’m just a happy Niel Breen camper

  • Domo

    *Sustainable Breen gas.

  • Like Icare

    Sniffing the gas to test the deadliness is a time honored custom.
    People used to use canaries and little kids for that.
    http://petapixel.com/assets/uploads/2013/09/childlabor2.jpg

    But then those damn commie pinko fuckers came up with child labor laws and PETA fucks started giving everyone shit about the birds.

  • Trask

    Are you breaking bad yet?

  • Sustainability.

  • What? Breaking bad? I’m talking Niel breen here!

  • Like Icare

    The Breen are too aggressive and unpredictable for sustainable trade relations with anyone but Ferengi.
    http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Breen

  • Like Icare

    If the artistic motive is making money, then yes. They are full of integrity.

  • Like Icare

    I guess people around you just don’t bother with cleaning their pigs.

  • Like Icare

    I once fell in love with Carrie Fisher in a dream. True story.

  • Make whole new topic on Exiled, it’ll be easier to find.

  • Palpatine

    Wait, are you doing the stream on Christmas Day?

  • Nah, nobody would be able to make it. We’d do it on the same day the regular stream-a-thon was or, if we really want it to be Christmasy, we could do it on the 27th.

  • Lucid Flux

    Boyhood for obvious reasons.

  • Lucid Flux

    I’d take Pulp Fiction over Inglorious Bastards.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They dont have the copyrights. every single movie shown could sue them. by recording it and puting on line they put RLM in financial danger.

  • Palpatine

    The 27th sounds cool. Besides, everyone’s either busy or hungover on New Years Day.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’d still do her.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Moonraker or Thunderball?

  • Like Icare

    Speaking of Richmas… apparently this is a thing.
    http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1410957547l/23242668.jpg

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Gene Hackman “Heist” or DeNiro “Heist”?

  • Matt Otter

    Funny watching you guys destroy that VCR, just makes me think of back in the early 80’s when my grandpa paid $900 (in the 80’s mind you) for his giant, bulky, no remote pop up deck VCR that none of us were ever allowed to touch πŸ™‚

  • dollar store cashier wife

    that poor poor dog. I woudn’t want that guy fisting me no sir.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh hi, James. How’s your sex life?

    http://i.imgur.com/KSBOEAJ.jpg

  • Like Icare

    I can’t confirm or deny that this is really in the book, but this site claims it is.
    http://melimel.booklikes.com/post/1072777/review-unwrapping-hank-by-eli-easton

    “Don’t come in, Dad!” Hank said.

    “Believe me, I won’t,”
    Karma said with vocal shiver. “Just… I have, um, condoms and lube.”
    And in a mutter. “Your mother made me.”

    Author also apparently writes Johnlock fanfiction.
    As in stories about Sherlock Holmes and John Watson fucking each other.

    http://img10.deviantart.net/7991/i/2014/021/8/f/johnlock___dirty_deduction_by_redpassion-d734cih.png

  • Palpatine

    I’m sorry, but he looks nothing like Tommy.

  • Trask

    No one looks like Tommy.

  • Palpatine

    That’s because Tommy looks like a, um, I don’t know, a thing.

  • Like Icare
  • Jerry Jackson

    Episode 100 coming.

    Wonder what it’s gonna be?????

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yeah but Josh Hutcherson is perfect to play the guy who played Denny.

  • Palpatine

    Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sisters starring Amy Poehler and Tina Fey

  • Palpatine

    Who’s playing Lisa?

  • Nukie and Ishtar

  • There’s a possibility they didn’t get him for his face. It’s possible that his butt cheeks are a dead-ringer for Tommy’s.

  • It’ll be a 2 hour TNG panel discussion.

  • Hedgecore

    Jay is a naughty, naughty boy?!

    I doubt Jay could even FIND a lady’s naughty bits…but he sure knows his way around a Manhole.

  • tOmy`

    SO MANY EMOTIOOOOONS.

  • The Matrix
    Fight Club
    His Girl Friday
    Pulp Fiction
    Mad Max: Fury Road
    Starwars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back

  • luvs2pwge

    LOL. They will have to add an orgasm chip to complement the emotion chip.

  • luvs2pwge

    Boulder-dash you can not clean a pig. That is an oxymoron.

  • Like Icare

    Well… there goes watching Plinkett talk about Titanic again…

    This video contains content from FOX, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds.

  • tOmy`

    I can see that, sure.

  • tOmy`

    Did they reserve the rights for Na’vi abduction scene?

  • Palpatine

    In just your country?

  • tOmy`

    It’s effed for me too.

  • Palpatine

    It works fine for me! U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!!!

  • tOmy`

    Ironically, something tells me that USA is the only country FOX execs would be able to locate on a globe.

  • tOmy`

    VPN that stuff. Fox em.

  • Like Icare

    Well, someone better fucking come up with a solution for that. And fast.
    http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/oct/03/micropig-animal-rights-genetics-china-pets-outrage

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its Foxed downunder too. fox that! I’m going to torrent Titanic on principle. I wont watch it though, EEEEW!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    A ‘HitB: Pre-Rec Review’ show.
    Mike and Jay will pick apart every episode. In detail.

  • tOmy`

    So let me get this straight. The only reason Bilbo is going on the journey with midgets is because Smaug can smell them, but not Hobbits. But… then… Bilbo uses the ring and… becomes invisible and Smaug… can smell him…

    But Smaug is then walking like 5 meters above all of them… and he can’t small Bilbo or… midgets… what?

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • Palpatine

    Do dwarves not bathe or something?

  • tOmy`

    He is used to their smell or something. Because… reasons. And he is also very intelligent. Except when the script politely asks him not to be.

  • Stupidity is spread pretty evenly among people. It’s the one thing uniting us all.

  • tOmy`

    That and herpes.

  • Let’s kiss.

  • Jay Hurst

    I’ll bet they skip it and simply label the next episode as 101 and carry on as though nothing happened. Just to spite their expectant fans they might make some vague references to how awesome the (fictional) episode 100 was.

  • Like Icare

    Someone should contact the management of this webzone.
    They are losing clicks and views and whatnots from the world outside the Foxlandia. Which is most of it.

  • bleurgh

    He didn’t kill the villain because his boss and girlfriend were both watching and they both believe him to be something other than a kill crazy kill machine who just loves to kill. He had to keep up the facade.

  • Strong_Bow

    Whattt? No, they need a ‘burglar’ and they want one more member because 13 is unlucky. Where the fuck did you find that at? No way that’s in the book.

  • bleurgh

    I wish they had the guts to actually make him be Jaws, I think Bautista could be a great Jaws 2.0. Maybe they’ll give him the metal teeth if he returns in the next movie.

  • Palpatine

    And he’s Benedict Cabagepatch.

  • RLMkeepitup

    they also have big feet making their tracks easier to follow. they leave a trail of lembas bread crumbs too. they’re pretty gross

  • bleurgh

    Really, Die Another Day over Goldeneye? I couldn’t disagree with you more on that one. I think DAD is Brosnans worst Bond film, it’s the Moonraker of the late Bond era and it almost killed the franchise.

  • bleurgh

    I liked the fact that it seemed like they were introducing an age appropriate love interest, then the film immediately discards her, presumably to be assassinated by the people who were still wanting to kill here after Bond left and they completely lamed out and made him get with the 22 year old.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Someone.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That Prequel fan just used a bunch of homophobic slurs against me and asked me if Mike was my boyfriend all because I asked him why he likes the Prequels. This guy and ColoClawFish must really love jerking off to themselves and their own egos.

  • tOmy`

    No, it’s in the movie.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Read the book and forget the movies.
    Or better still, go full Plinkett on that SHIT!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well he ain’t called Hobo Baggins for nothing.

  • Like Icare

    Who? Mr. Smith who goes to Washington? Mr. Jones who goes to London? Marty McFly? Babe the pig in the big city?

    Not only is it his job to kill people (it’s in his fucking job description and is something even discussed in the movie), and not only did he kept killing people throughout this movie and the others… that guy just had his girlfriend tied to a bomb. After kidnapping her. Again.

    And earlier, while that guy he spares for no fucking reason (other than trying to make the character non-GMO, organic and dolphin-friendly) was drilling holes in his skull – his girl threw a bomb at him. A bomb he gave her.
    “Here honey. Fugitabboutthetempus.”
    “What? Are you stupid now? Is your brain leaking? Can you recognize my FACE!?”
    “I was being intellectual and code-like. It’s a fuckin bomb. Throw it at the badguy. It’s about to blow.”
    At which point she does it and then later is not shocked or alienated for him asking her to kill the evil man with a bomb.

    Hey! Remember that time that secret agent character went rogue and fucked off to a place to kill people?
    No, I don’t mean to play Macau Caucau in Scotland. That other time.
    No, not Mex… No, not that time in the Republic of Isthmus either.
    I mean that time when he got the NEEEERRRD to lie to his boss that he’s not in Italy, shooting people and fucking Monica Bellucci while infringing on copyright properties belonging to The Walt Disney Company.

    Seems to me that being a people killing machine is a kind of a big part of his personality. It’s how he deals with problems and stress of everyday life. That and alcoholism.
    BTW… that car he steals in the end has machineguns in the headlights. And they ain’t for deer hunting.
    Also, the ejector seat ejects the passenger, not the driver.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Grandgelf lied and said Bilby was a Break and Enter specialist.

  • tOmy`

    I read the book. Even the comics version.

    I will do a small write up after I finish all three. But to be honest, only the first one deserves a proper treatment. I saw genocides that were more entertaining than that.

  • tOmy`

    Well, he says he is a burglar (lie). He says he is fast, hard to spot and Smaug is not used to his smell.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I saw genocides that made me less angry at the world than that.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Mike of the Beast?
    http://i.imgur.com/3SY8POs.png

  • Amontillado

    This is the true test of the RLM fan: how many of you can spot the most fraudery of hack frauds?

  • Amontillado

    I was about to make that comment, but then you did it better than I ever could. Touche and my hats off to you babe.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I dont want to compare the book to the 5ology. Tolkien did in 300 pages what Peter Jackson thinks he did in 15 hours of movie’s.
    BOOM! Tolkien drops mic…

  • Oh, stop it, you. *blushes*

  • Amontillado

    It’s poetry, it rhymes

  • Amontillado

    SIMPSONS DID IT!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Is it you or me?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey did you see your poster?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Link dick!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I cant wait till I get you in one of our camps…
    *Oils whip…..

  • Like Icare

    This is the point where you’re supposed to either to let it go – or go full hog on his entire family, friends, neighbors and pets.

    And by full hog I mean bestiality, coprophagia, autoplushophilia, forniphilia, voting for Donald Trump etc.
    This list might come in handy.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paraphilias

    Just think to yourself “What Would Andrew Do?” – and try to one-up that.

  • Amontillado

    The Third Man
    Crank 2
    The Long Good Friday
    Heist
    Zatoichi: the Blind Swordsman
    Airplane!
    Mad Max: Fury Road

  • Amontillado

    My hunch is they know us, and they’ll yank our chain for all its worth

  • Amontillado

    We are but pawns….

  • tOmy`

    “What Would Andrew Do?” is actually a great idea for a t-shirt slogan.

  • Amontillado
  • Like Icare

    Is this the question of how much fraud would a hack fraud hack if hack fraud would hack fraud?

  • Palpatine

    You can’t be a true RLM fan if you think they’re hack frauds! Just like how you can’t be a true Star Wars fan if you don’t like the Prequels.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • I don’t mind as long as I can post some genocidal duckface selfies on Facebook.

  • RLMkeepitup

    they probably like those davinci code movies too

  • Palpatine

    Move over Obama, there’s a new Anti-Christ in town, and his name is Mike Stoklasa!

  • Palpatine

    Where are you guys arguing at, I just got to see it!

  • RLMkeepitup

    If you could meet Neil Breen what would you do? 1) ask him to cure you (of past/future cancer) 2) ask him to explain double down in 1 sitting 3) ask him to adjust your tv dish for best signal 4) camp one night in his car (no homo) 5) Your custom request here

  • Palpatine

    All.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • What is this new devilry?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What does this have to do with a homophobic Prequel fan who hates rappers like me?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    WWAD. Sounds like a Star Wars character.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I would ask to buy a book oh wait

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSwBEq1zz4k

  • Marvin Falz

    “what George created was going to be another masterpiece, but haters like
    you made him chicken out on the original plan. So blame yourself. Jar
    Jar was planed out to be the Yoda of the prequelsο»Ώ”

    “Jar Jar’s actor, Ahmed Best wrote: “I will say this, it feels really good when the hidden meaning behind the work is seen.”

    My favorite two statements from my new hero on YT, Septan. Yes, I’m being ironic.

  • Palpatine

    Why do we rarely discuss the Indiana Jones series on here?

    Part time.

  • Shart time.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Palpatine

    I’m watching Temple of Doom right now. Why do people hate this film?

  • bleurgh

    You’re missing a big part of the subtext of the movie, of course he’s a kill-crazy kill-machine, but his boss, new girlfriend and friends al think that he’s rational and has a moral code. He’s smart enough not to jeopardize the double 00 program again, by murdering this guy in front of hundreds of witnesses when no-ones life is immediately threatened and he has the option to take him in alive.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Even I dont know what I’m doing.

  • I don’t hate it. It’s an awesome and creative action adventure moopie. So, what’s not to like?

  • Palpatine

    People hate Willie and Short Round.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    *I do NOT endorse people behaving like me.
    But I’ll watch…..

  • It’s a little extreme to hate them. They don’t ruin the awesomeness that is the rest of the film.

  • Flagged for attention whoring.

  • Palpatine

    I think it’s the funniest of the series.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Wait…In this scenario, are you the rapper or the homophobic Prequel fan?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its because I cant find the sd card adaptor and the camera wont link to the laptop for the new one..
    Frustrating!
    and It is exactly what I would say.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I do as well. With all of my heart.

    Who doesn’t?

  • Palpatine

    Both.

  • RLMkeepitup

    you need .. 6 additional laptops to complete your arsenal

  • I think the chemistry between Ford and Connery in Last Crusade was the funniest.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Truly? Aw sh!t. That was fun last year. I was looking forward to that, too. Whose dick do I have to suck?

  • Palpatine

    Same.

  • I’m just jealous, because I got nothing to show off. People are not gonna give me their upvotes for shitty RollerCoaster Tycoon screenshots. ;P

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    So, he’s flirting with you.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    If you cant work in movies make your own. thats my motto.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    It means “hope” where I come from.

  • I used to make Counter-Strike movies for my shitty clan back in the day. They were composed of gaming footage from my buddies and 3D scenes I used to render in 3DSMAX. But I deleted them long, long ago.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m going to make you a Sfx 101 vid. all safe in the home…. for a given value.

  • Palpatine

    God, I freaking love Mola Ram in Temple of Doom.

  • That sounds very interesting, but I don’t have any desire to get into movie making. Not even just for fun.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You will do what you’re told young man!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Because she saw the boy who dumped her when she was seventeen and she wanted to explain to him that it was she, in fact, who did the dumping, using single syllable words that she stretched into eighteen syllables apiece to demonstrate her passion or annoy him even more (one of those), but by the time she crossed the street, he’d crossed to the other side in order to avoid her whinging (that’s the way the Brits spell it!) ass, so they ended up just going back and forth across the street, until she decided to walk into Popeye’s to drown her sorrows in a bucket of chicken (and, by the way, that is not an insensitive joke about body weight, though I’m not above such a thing at Adele’s expense because I hate her completely; it is rather just a clumsy way to get a chicken into this because there’s always at least one chicken in any halfway decent “cross the road” joke).

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Peace Police.

    Like THAT’S even a thing.

  • No, Daddy, not the hose again.

  • He’s a metaphor for JorgΓ©’s ex-wife.

  • Palpatine

    Really?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Palpatine

    Apparently.

  • YES! THIS! YOU RETARDED APE! xD

  • Oscar-worthy, you hack! *wipes tears*

  • Well, George said that Temple was darker, because he was going through a divorce at the time. Enter a character that rips people’s hearts out. 1+1=2
    Just a personal theory of course.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The hard part was getting mark wahlberg to do the voice cameo.

  • You can never go too retard for a Wahlberg impression. Your movie lacked a hottie running around in slomo wearing tight pants tho.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    my bad.

  • Amontillado

    a low blow sir! A low blow!

  • Amontillado

    Personally Short Round should’ve been an inconic character showing up in random 80’s films. For christ sake, he would’ve been perfect in Gremlins!

  • Amontillado

    Those biceps and that bald head….

  • Next time you better run thru the background with nothing but a g-string on or else!

  • Percy Gryce

    Hackman/Mamet Heist.

    Yes, French Connection.

  • RLMkeepitup

    he’s a symbol, kind of man

  • RLMkeepitup

    well either the ads are growing or my screen is shrinking, spills tuna

  • Percy Gryce

    Great HITB. Best ep in a while. And it focused on a movie they liked. Go figure.

  • Percy Gryce

    Well, here’s what I believe is a first in RLM history: this very evening yours truly, Percy Gryce, met up in real life with the great Mark Bisone and the lovely Madame Bisone for cocktails at an NYC establishment or two. A great time was had by all and a toast was drunk to all the creative geniuses involved with RLM. Here’s mud in your eye.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It’s the comedy bits and some attempted universe expansion, years before its time. If it were made now, in two years we’d get The Short Round-vengers and Ballistic: Willy v. Indy and probably a shitty cartoon.

  • Wolvy

    Thing ring, do your thing!

  • Wolvy

    I can’t wait to see Amy and Tina scissor.

  • Wolvy

    No Zwarte Piet Christmas movie?
    You Racists!

  • Like Icare

    Except that regardless of the fact that a “by the book assassin” is an oxymoron… 00 program was NOT jeopardized.
    It was sabotaged from the inside and attacked from the outside by the very supervillain crawling there.
    Also… there are NO witnesses as his boss explicitly sends the cops away.

    And even if there were thousands of children and fragile individuals watching – it is a non issue as he has the license to execute whomever he pleases without any kind of order, warrant, trial or any of that procedural shit. On live TV if he so pleases. For England.
    Just like he threw that guy out of the helicopter at the beginning – with thousands of CGI people watching.

    He doesn’t need justification. Nor is justification asked from him by any of the parties involved.

    Girl he just saved from the bomb stuck up her ass, boss whose job/country/service/whatever he just saved from Osama Bin Hitler 2.0 there, Judi Dench from beyond the grave…

    Everyone is fine with him being a cold blooded murderer. And would probably give him a medal for killing that guy. Or a blowjob.
    Though I’m not sure he would take one from the current M.

    As for “by the book” – killing people cause they look to him like they may use a bullet to the head IS “by the book” for him.
    That’s literally how his boss describes it. One person’s call.
    And he literally has no reason not to kill him.

    Except that the movie wants to tack on a supposed arc that would make him into some kinda dolphin loving organic hipster – instead of a cold blooded murderer that he is.
    Next he’ll probably quit drinking and start a family or some shit.
    Just like he apparently fell in love because reasons.

    And then they’ll be killed (by the escaping villain… again) and here we go again with “REVENGE!!!” theme… which would be… how many revenge movies since the attempt at reboot/restart/something? 5? Or more?

    Maybe he’ll keep on revenging until that inevitable crossover of that franchise with Avengers. The one with Ralph Fiennes… wait… oh. OH…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgTiFsCMCo4&feature=player_detailpage#t=92

  • Mark Bisone

    Truly. Although I believe Madam is — how shall we say — “trashed.” That’s probably why she was hitting on you all night, you rascal.

  • Marcia Kolb

    Yahoo CEO, Marissa Meyer has gone so far as to Support the practice “Work at home” that I have been doing since last year. In this year till now I have earned 84k dollars with my pc, despite the fact that I am a college student. Even newbies can make 39 an hour easily and the average goes up with time. Why not try this.
    tb….

    CLICK Here For Details
    β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–’β–“

  • I would comment more on this, but I have writer’s Krampus.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Makes sense to me.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You’re weird.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    He smells Hobbits, he just doesn’t know what the smell is. He’s used to dwarf smells because they used to live in his home. I’m not defending the movie, I’m just saying what is true.

  • tOmy`

    Yo. We good?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    we want elaborate details…alongside your sex tape of the evening.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I might have not pay attention. Can you blame me, tho?

    It still doesn’t explain that he doesn’t smell them when he is like 5m above them, but whatever. At least it’s over.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “What are all these other specks on the map?”
    -“I don’t know, and I don’t like it. Probably the Middle East. Let’s make a copyright shield around ourselves. Just in case.”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *Edgar-suit

  • tOmy`

    “Build a copyright shield. Let them pay for it! Make cinema great again!”

    #FOX2020

  • tOmy`

    It’s basically the same. Only the colors don’t match, statistically speaking.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    His mother made his dad?

  • tOmy`

    “Creative geniuses involved with RLM”?

    That must have been hell of a lot Margaritas.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I used to be in Europe but then we didn’t have Krampus in my country.

  • tOmy`

    Good question. They are great movies, but is there anything else to say? I can honestly say that even though most of my friends love them, I don’t think we ever talked about them.

    Except maybe couple of puns.

  • You sure it’s not period Krampus?

  • tOmy`

    My mum doesn’t like that one.

  • kingrat2314

    Great review, guys! I can’t wait until your review of Alvin and the Chipmunks: Road Chip on Half in the Bag episode 100!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ‘vodka gimlets

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was going to insert a krampons joke but it would just be padding this out.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    He was my favorite dwarf in the Hobbit.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Does she not like sexy Indian children?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They were? Oh. I guess that proves your point.

  • Marvin Falz

    I would get into movie making just for fun. But there’s no time for such a hobby. At least not now.

  • Now I Get It

    Two more RLM boys right on schedule. Congratulations…

  • Now I Get It

    …gentlemen (and lady). First you take Manhatten…

  • bassbait

    Yea of course.

  • Kawaii as Fuck

    So episode 100 is going to be Force Awakens? That’s a mighty strange bit of serendipity.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Sorry I thought you said ‘Serenity.’…. I’ll go back to muttering about Firefly in my basment…..

  • Think of the baby. You should really learn to take care of your baby! Stop running around with that street gang. They are no good for you. In fact humans are not good for you. If you grow tired of this planet there is hope. Just go to the Nevada desert and await for a man to appear.

    #YOU2BITHUSTLER

    #GETAREALJOB

    #VOTENONHUMAN2016

  • You two are gentlemen and scholars. Out future is secured. Earth will be a better place from now on.

  • Yalla! Yalla!

  • Like Icare

    That can often be just colon Krampus. Or a semicolon one.

  • Sorry. Was busy on uni Krampus.

  • They will have the last laugh.

  • Mark Bisone

    Wait, are you sure he wasn’t in Gremlins? I thought he played the head gremlin.

  • Mark Bisone

    Wait til you see the beauty of MY weapon.

  • Percy Gryce

    Nonsense. Between you two what I saw was wuv, twu wuv. Even my devastating wit and daring good looks (or is that daring wit and devastating good looks?) couldn’t breach that bond.

    Cheers!

  • Percy Gryce

    You should have heard what we said about you.

  • Percy Gryce

    There may be photographic evidence.

  • Percy Gryce

    You’re right: Serenity was really a proxy for Firefly, for which I’m a sucker.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was just watching
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zKOcQe5xcY
    Get out of my head!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Ooh, tell me! Tell me!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I love that song.

  • What did you just say? About Mein Krampf?

  • Bubble Lipped Tar Baby

    SJW! Fuck you to the RLM police!

  • Percy Gryce

    I’m not even paying rent.

  • Palpatine

    God, where the hell is everyone? The comment section is usually never this quiet. See, now here I am by myself, er, talking to myself, that’s, that’s chaos theory.

  • tOmy`

    Krampus dragged us all back to hellish reality of everyday life.

  • Palpatine

    What did ISIS do now?

  • tOmy`

    They made me stay in bed for most of the day and then play UT.

    I feel so productive today.

  • Palpatine

    Those bastards!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    teasing!

  • Like Icare

    One word. Sexy Indian children.
    Well… It’s actually more than one word.

    First of all… Raiders was about Indy fighting Nazis and other villains for the control of quite literally a proof of existence of God.
    Oh, and said proof can make any army carrying it completely invincible.
    On top of that, Indy is paired with cool and capable characters who feel like adventurers in their own right.
    From Marion, through Salah to Katanga… Every one of those characters could be the main character of some other story.

    Temple of Doom is a HUGE step down.
    Glowing “lucky” diamond rocks and some cultists stealing some kids somewhere in India.

    Not exactly the fate of the world and the Universe. More like fate of a tiny village somewhere in Upper Bommfuck, India.
    And in this adventure he is paired with an incompetent bar singer and a little kid.
    With the kid being the more valuable and capable companion of the two.

    And then there’s that bit where it is all about the children…
    But it is not a sexy child that Indy saves from falling into the river in the end – he saves a much sexier diamond.
    Cause sexy Indian children are really not that sexy after all.
    Nor are religious artifacts of people who live in mud huts sexy.
    Which is why those rocks are made sexier by making them full of diamonds.
    Remember the stone tablets in the ark being made of diamonds? Exactly.

    And then there’s that bit where Indy is defeated and made a helpless and servile zombie by Mola Ram’s magic potion.
    Evil actually wins there.
    And it would have won completely had it not been for that meddling little kid.
    So our hero is doubly diminished, defeated AND disgraced.
    People don’t like having their heroes defeated and disgraced.

    AND as if making the little kid the bigger hero than the actual hero wasn’t enough – movie is full of childish gross-out moments and the chase sequence is a carnival ride.

    Movie compensated that by being darker (by today’s standards) but at its core it is a movie made for more juvenile audiences.
    With more sex appeal and humor and action and murder in order to compensate for the lack of story appeal.
    It’s fun… but it is the lowest point of the franchise. Until the Kingdom of the Crystal Meth, that is.

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    You may not have noticed it… but Kirk Douglas turned 99 today.

  • Mark Bisone

    I forgot how weird the lighting was in that place.

    http://i.imgur.com/pbQedwx.jpg

  • stryker1121

    It’s a silent boycott against RLM for reviewing this sick, cynical, anti-Xmas filth.

  • Marvin Falz

    This is getting a little bit too k(r)ampy for my taste.

  • Domo

    Who knew Robert Downey Jr. is such a bibliophile!

    Now I know never to judge a book by its goatee.

  • Domo

    He really should hang out with Patrick Steward and Ian McKellen more. Just because he’s not part of X-Men doesn’t mean he can’t have cool elderly celebrity friends

  • Percy Gryce

    Beautiful!

  • tOmy`

    *bibliophage

  • Mark Bisone

    He even gave us souvenirs of poetry from his library orgy. Not as good as my battle raps, but what is?

  • Percy Gryce

    My battle raps!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    beautiful MS paint work.

  • Mark Bisone

    That reminds me: shortly after we left, we ran into Nipsey Hussle and Common, and a battle broke out.

    (More of a skirmish, really. Hussle quit after eight bars and that bitch Common wet his pants after four.)

  • Percy Gryce

    Whew, I thought you were going to throw down right here, right now. I’ll have to beg off until the holidays.

  • Mark Bisone

    What exactly are you implying?!!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Are you a nazi? Is that your elf?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    fake tan lines.

  • Now I Get It

    No, I’m afraid that black people are real.

  • Now I Get It

    He and Spader got into some pretty weird shit back in the gay.

  • Now I Get It

    I love-love that song – Leonard’s cut of it, Jennifer’s less so.

  • Trask

    I’m in the mood for a cheesy 80s ski movie, which is basically every 80s ski movie. So far I’ve found Better Off Dead, Ski School, Ski Patrol, Hot Dog and Aspen Extreme. Any recommendations?

  • RLMkeepitup

    so cool to see someone rock it to 90s, let alone 99

  • Marvin Falz

    Maybe Fire and Ice by Willy Bogner. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Rl7eNI0cZM

  • Marvin Falz
  • Marvin Falz

    Not to mention the man who played Han Solo in the Star Wars movies from the late 70s to mid 80s. I heard though that Harrison Ford tends to rather be alone or only with his immediate family when he’s not working.

  • Trask

    That looks terrible, I love it. Thanks.

  • Now I Get It

    No, the opposite. Once they’d escaped this hive of puns and passive aggression, they regained their humanity and used their time mending fences, correcting oversights, etc.

    My upvotes (520) started coming in ’round midnight. How many did you get?

  • RLMkeepitup

    thats why santa went to the north pole and Burt went to perfection. geographic isolation

  • tOmy`

    I got one flag.

    Does it count?

  • Now I Get It

    Sounds like they’re setting something up for later. Better find your most trusted lieutenant to stand watch with, back to back.

  • Marvin Falz

    Glad you like it.

  • Now I Get It

    None. I never got past Ski School Charlie Spradling. She was the Betsy Russell of her day – which was also Betsy Russell’s day. Hmm. Next time just ask about movie tits.

  • Johan Wernquist

    Nightcrawler.
    Close the thread please.

  • Marvin Falz

    Ford needs his isolation to improve as an actor.

  • Percy Gryce

    I know I’ve said this before, but it all comes back to Leonard Cohen for you Canuckians, doesn’t it? Etc., etc.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “$2, I want my $2.”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    round world. I was asleep.

  • Percy Gryce
  • Percy Gryce

    How would you know–are there any black people in Alberta?

  • Trask

    I had to turn it off after 40 min. It is fucking atrocious.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I was asked today if I would rather watch Man of Steel or the Amazing Spider-Man movies again. I said Man of Steel because it felt like people tried to make a movie and those awful Spider-Man movies fail even worse than Man of Steel.

  • Mark Bisone

    I’m pretty sure they get reruns of “The Cosby Show” by now. Or at least “That’s My Mama.”

  • tOmy`

    I always thought that the prequels are my biggest scarecrow when it comes to new Star Wars. That they are the reason why I should be careful about getting hyped up about TFA.

    I don’t think that anymore. The Hobbit Trilogy is even bigger reason to fear TFA – because I am quite afraid that this movie at least tried and, furthermore, just as JJ, Jackson is a fan of the source material and competent director, yet the result is beyond frustrating. Thankfully, unlike in the case of Prequels, we can look back at Hobbit: Episode 1 as being that really, really, really bad one.

    To quote that witch Adele: “Where once was light, now darkness falls.”

  • Mark Bisone

    Mike’s been calling Die Hard a “perfect film” for several years, now.

    Big Trouble in Little China is indeed a perfect film. So, of course, they’re remaking it.

    Speaking of which, how come neither of us remembered to say “May the wings of liberty never lose a feather” last night? The fuck was wrong with us?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Jar Jar Jackson got cocky and thought his dick was bigger than tolkien. but the source material is still fucking him like… a thing that needs fucking.
    Fuch Him!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No, the correct answer is “Death first.” but thanks for playing.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    SOOOOOOOO SAD. the poor bastard is half dead. Let him go!

    http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/content/2015/s4369271.htm

  • Like Icare

    90s ARE the new 70s.

    And I’m not talking about disco and bell-bottoms making a comeback.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Early stage dementia…. we loved you Mr Ford…. I’m going to miss that guy.

  • Like Icare

    Whatchu sayin there? That’s him being energetic and into it like an Energizer bunny.

    He’s always been “mellow yellow” IRL like that.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDfXLSXGEn0

    And while we’re on topic of dildos…
    http://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/celebrity/harrison-ford-strikes-back-donald-trump-n477171

  • Now I Get It

    Really? I thought she had a solid 80s rack. Which is to say silicone. …Oh, wait, I see your point.

    Seriously, I can’t find him on imdb, but there was guy in one of those movies who seemed to be doing an obvious Bill Murray imitation. It was just transparently awful.

  • Like Icare

    Ten years from now we’ll be reading stupid articles trying to “figure out” why do originals still hold the magic while both later trilogies are dated and suck.

  • tOmy`

    One of the suggest videos:

    “Harrison Ford says his acting on Star Wars: The Force Awakens will be ‘average'”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thank god… I thought he had a stroke or something.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    not Part time?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Now I Get It

    Just the ones they rescue out of the tailings ponds at Ft. McMurray.

    I mean, everyone assumes they’re black. Why chance it, right?

    They’re gas now.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    How average? Regarding Henry average or Air Force One average?

  • Like Icare

    Few years back they caught him at some premiere… now THERE he looked and acted like he didn’t know where he was or who he was.
    He’s simply a pretty laid back and insular guy, and it takes a good interviewer to make him open up.
    Like in the end of that old “Jedi” interview when they hit a nerve.

    Dude likes to be solo more than Solo.
    His hobbies include flying prop airplanes, helicopters and riding motorcycles.
    All activities where you are alone, away from the crowd and don’t talk much bullshit or deal with much bullshit.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsgiEubacT0&feature=player_detailpage#t=99

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Pitch me a Tyler Perry movie

  • Paulus Nuns

    So here I was, reading some LOTR and checking some Tolkien facts. Apparently, the book was written between 1937 and 1949….

  • The Hobbit Ring Theory confirmed!

  • Palpatine

    I’m not black, so I’ve never seen any.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s the black Adam Sandler. That should be helpful enough.

  • Palpatine

    That’s the same reason I’m worried. If it sucks, then I’ll just go home and watch the Original Trilogy until the Apocalypse.

  • Palpatine

    Oh, I see what you’re trying to do. That’s pretty clever.

  • Palpatine

    All I know is that Tyler Perry dresses in drag.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Tyler Perry in The Danish Girl.

  • Like Icare

    Originally it was supposed to be called Hobbit 2: The Hobbithood.

  • Paulus Nuns

    That would give us a great movie, featuring Ethan Hawke as Gandalf, Patricia Arquette as Aragorn, annoying kid as Frodo…the ring means growing up.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Put it in my Hobbit-hole”
    -Harry S. Plinkett.

  • Like Icare

    Hot Oil, Bananas and Cream?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47En_G2Mzf4

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare
  • I think Neil Breen missed his calling. Some details on his film called Pass Through, his fourth “legitimate” feature film. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dArXTZwfASM

  • So what you’re saying is it took twelve years to make.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Porn…. end of pitch.

  • Palpatine

    A Christmas Carol with George C. Scott is without a doubt the best adaptation of the novel.

  • bleurgh

    I like the scene in the first one where the dwarves come over and start acting like massive assholes, breaking all of bilbos shit, eating all of his food, messing up his place and generally acting like entitled peices of shit, then they have the fucking nerve to sing an obviously pre-rehearsed song about what a bunch of assholes they’re being and how funny it is that he’s getting upset.

    Holy shit, if I were Bilbo I would have murdered them all.

  • “In addition to showing off her great legs Leia is a woman of action.”

  • RLMkeepitup

    future generations will look back and wonder how we didn’t get his work, assuming they ever learn sustainability and to care for one another

  • Mark Bisone

    Our species disappoints Him. One day, perhaps we will live up to His standard, and avoid being shot in the desert, or awkwardly hung from crucifixes on a field of doll heads.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So is everyone other one.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    TMNT: Roid Rage!

  • Palpatine

    God, they still look like Shrek.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And Bebop and Rocksteady look like The Amazing Bulk

  • Palpatine

    And who’s the black guy supposed to be?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Speaking of roid rage… have you seen my totally accurate parody of the whole Transformers Franchise?

    https://plus.google.com/u/0/114089192088360284355/posts/Ys7WzkGmmpc?pid=6226130594833064130&oid=114089192088360284355

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Baxter Stockman I think. And I think he’s played by Madea himself Tyler Perry.

  • Palpatine

    Of course.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They should’ve hired the white Tyler Perry.

  • Palpatine

    Adam Sandler?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well duh.

  • Palpatine

    I’d rather take my chances with Perry.

  • No. This not.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’d rather watch Luke Perry.

  • Palpatine

    Are you saying it doesn’t look awful?

  • RLMkeepitup

    whoa casey jones bro, whoa megan fox almost flashes her freddy krueger tits, whoaaa !! did someone say splosions?!

  • RLMkeepitup

    holiday special levels, breaking 4th wall

  • RLMkeepitup

    oh gawd he’s rambling again

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    sorry, I’ll stop.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I meant Ford, you guilty devil

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • No. Not.

  • Looks like they’re releasing the third installment next week. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpSFp-gw6lY

  • James Earl Jones

    Apparently The Hobbit Trilogy was pretty rushed.
    …and they had 6 months to write TFA’s script.

    I don’t even know what this means!

  • James Earl Jones

    Alright, back to nein eleven.

  • James Earl Jones

    So… Are you guys watching every single goddamn trailer that comes out for The Force Awakens?

    Was it just me that got reminded of Darkness from Legend when Rylo Kloon started talking in the last one? (chinese international whatever)

    Link for the Gewgel impaired: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECYgD7zylrE

  • Marvin Falz

    When you’re all worried so much, then why do you plan to see the movie?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I just had a nonmedy moment, clicking that link.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/tUJbRI0QMEkuI/giphy.gif

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Why does he laugh at “audience”? I think he’s not telling us something.

    “Even if I didn’t get a penny from the campaign, I’d still be able to produce a very high quality film.” There’s that superiority complex again.

  • Yes. GIFs.

  • Joe Syxpac

    All that’s missing is Krang.

  • Now I Get It

    It does. But what I’ve never said is that all that’s due to the CRTC on so-called “Canadian content.”

    People sing what they want at home, but I’ve seen them seriously busted in public, like at karaoke if they sing American artists.

    The one break we get is for the Brits. I do a “Thousands Are Sailing” that would make you weep, but I have to do it as Gordon Lightfoot. Also, I have a permit to do any Kylie Minogue I want, but it’s a whole production with chorus boys, slit skirt, and a pedicure; so, if I’m not in the mood I’ll just stay home.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Samurai Jack is coming back.

    For all you toon lovers out there.

  • Yeah, the CG is bad. This one is even a bigger nostalgia bait than the first one.

  • Star Wars has become so Star Wars you can’t even ironically Star Wars about Star Wars.

  • tOmy`

    I could allow this if it didn’t drag for 40 minutes. The song + kitchenware dance was the first red flag. Actually, scratch that, it was like a shot from Aurora. You knew shit is about to hit the fan after that.

    I mentioned it here earlier that the best scene for me was Galadriel being Galadriel. I vividly remember thinking: You just cannot fuck up Galadriel, how would you even do it?

    But then they did it in the third one anyway, so never mind.

  • tOmy`

    It will never beat Powerpuff Girls. Nobody can.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdBDbGEdyEM

  • tOmy`

    I gave up around the 5th / 6th TV Spot. There is like 15 of them now or something.

  • tOmy`

    The poster is basically ready. Let’s just make the annoying kid lying on the grass put his hand up, catching the ring with one finger.

  • Jason Ross
  • tOmy`

    I think movies finally broke me, because this looks awesome. Does it… look awesome?

  • Cut them all together. No need to go to the cinemas anymore.
    Bamm! Lifehack!

  • tOmy`

    And, unlike Boyhood, Hobbit felt exactly 12 years long.

  • tOmy`
  • James Earl Jones

    Y’know, I tried to do that when there were about 7 videos in total. Everything began to look too clear and I had to stop. πŸ˜›

  • Milton Dammers

    Perfect movies?

    Star Wars
    Evil Dead II
    Mad Max: Fury Road
    Robocop
    Godfather I & II
    Heat
    Jaws
    Die Hard
    Once Upon A Time In The West (or China too)
    Master & Commander
    Back to the Future

  • Milton Dammers

    The problem for me with the Matrix is that the “twist” – that we’re all living in a computer programme – wasn’t very shocking in the first place, and has even less impact on subsequent viewings.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Go see a doctor, you’re officially broken.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Yeah, but Powerpuff Girls ain’t coming back.

    You have to accept that.

  • Would’ve loved to see that edit. πŸ˜‰

  • tOmy`

    “On June 16, 2014, Cartoon Network announced that the series will be rebooted and is scheduled to air sometime in 2016.”

  • bleurgh

    Holy shit, that was actually a great interview by Ford standards.

  • bleurgh

    Also the motherfucker is a raging pothead.

  • Red Skeleton

    Thanks to my wife getting a new job I had to rebook my Star Wars ticket for the 22nd, 5 days after release. Well FUCK, thanks Obama. #CoreWorldProblems.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Ain’t nobody got new ideas no more.

  • Joe Syxpac

    She just doesn’t worry about your needs, I guess.

  • Red Skeleton

    I know, right! Ungrateful sack of Bantha fodder.

  • Domo

    That’s a perfectly good reason to annul a marriage.

    Don’t divorce! Just legally erase it. All your friends and family will understand.

  • Joe Syxpac

    You know the Force Awakens Half in the Bag will be two days after the release. So she screwed you there too.

  • Domo

    I would love it if they went to an early release, went to a bar afterward and just filmed themselves getting black out drunk fighting over whether the film was terrible or not.

    It’ll be shot vertically with their iPhones. No need to edit. Just raw footage. It would be wonderful!

  • Joe Syxpac

    And we can play it on our phones while we watch the movie in the theater!

  • Red Skeleton

    I know! I know! I NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

  • Red Skeleton

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Domo

    Don’t forget your whiteboard in case you have to explain the plot to your friends during the movie. The bigger the whiteboard, the better.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Don’t worry.

    We’ll save the 2,000th comment slot for you.

  • Red Skeleton

    T_T

  • Joe Syxpac

    My Android doubles as a whiteboard.

  • Red Skeleton

    What if they try going into a Cantina and the bartender is like “Hey, we don’t serve their kind here! Your Androids, they’ll have to wait outside.”

  • bassbait

    I wouldn’t call it a “twist”. It’s hard to refer to the premise of the movie as a “twist”. The Sixth Sense has a twist, because that part is not the foundation of the plot, but The Matrix doesn’t have a “twist”, it’s a very straightforward plot. It was marketed as a twist because that was the rage back in 1999 (the whole computer internet hacker tech badass thing) but the movie itself doesn’t present it as much like a twist as the thing that sets the plot in motion. Regardless, I wouldn’t use “shock factor” as a factor in determining the value of a movie, because I’ve found almost every twist either predictable, uninteresting, or stupid. And the ones that are none of those things are hardly able to be called “twists”.

  • James Earl Jones

    Apparently others have done something similar. I read somewhere IGN did it, for instance.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I want nothing less then like a 6 hour live streamed discussion.

  • Joe Syxpac

    They’re gonna do a round table discussion with the entire RLM crew.

  • Joe Syxpac

    What would he serve a droid anyway?

  • Red Skeleton

    Well it’s the desert. Maybe he serves water and the locals don’t like them wasting water on droids, who need it to stay radiated?

  • Will try to check that out.

  • Joe Syxpac

    What if The Force Awakens turns out to be the biggest disappointment since my son?

  • bleurgh

    Really the bar has been set so low, that even if it’s just an hour and a half of Harrison Ford taking a shit it can’t possibly be more disappointing than episode 1

  • Joe Syxpac

    I’d watch that.

  • Red Skeleton

    More like Samurai Got-Jack-For-Fresh-Ideas!

  • Joe Syxpac

    Now that I think about it they already made that movie.

    It was called Ender’s Game.

  • Mark Bisone

    Get real. We all know they’re going to review the Henry Rollins vampire movie, then follow it up with a Care Boars sequel.

  • Red Skeleton

    BRB, I just got a phone call from my Internet service provider asking me to hand over control of my computer to them through ShowMyPC.com so they can help it run faster. This sounds like serious business so I’m just gonna let them do their thing. Talk to you all later.

  • Domo

    They could double the Henry Rollins fun and watch “In The House of Flies,” too!

  • Joe Syxpac

    Sounds like a scam to steal your CC info to me.

  • Red Skeleton

    I don’t know what you’re talking about! incidentally, if you search for ShowMyPC.com, literally the first thing that comes back is this disclaimer: http://showmypc.com/faq/warning.html (It basically says don’t be fooled by people claiming to be my ISP trying to get me to use their site to hand over my info).

    STILL, the lady did sound quite convincing….

  • Red Skeleton

    By the way, that reminds me, what IS an Internet Service Provider anyway?

  • Red Skeleton

    Does he, you know, do the deed, read a magazine, do it some more, wipe, get up, realize he has to go more, sit back down, etc….. or does he just shit for 90 straight continuous minutes?

  • RLMkeepitup

    he wipes with the magazine he’s reading and it has star wars on the cover. at the end his agent says he thought the articles were the best he’s ever seen

  • Red Skeleton

    Does it open with Gary Oldman sitting on Harrison Ford’s toilet and Harrison Ford runs in frantically and shouts “Get off my toilet!”

  • I imagine you’ve seen this. It’s worth a watch. And my mouth is watering for those Trump Steaks available at The Sharper Image:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU_Jdts5rL0

  • PreRec?

  • Like Icare

    Oh… So it will be like 9/11 all over again.

  • Like Icare

    Water for desert?
    I’m as calorie conscious as the next guy but that’s beyond anorexia.

  • Like Icare

    Have you noticed how blackboards tend to be bigger than whiteboards?
    Also harder.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    well it would actually be good so no.

  • Marvin Falz

    I know the answer is “subjectivity” but I still need to emphasize that I don’t understand why people pay money to see PreRec streams.

  • RLMkeepitup

    i love war, in a certain way. but only when we win. Whens the last time we won a war!? Setup a blockade for the mexiborgs!

  • Marvin Falz

    *pay money for PreRec

  • Like Icare

    Yes. For some reason it does. It also looks like a mess.
    But a very energetic and over the top mess that might not be intelligent but it might be fun.

  • Like Icare

    Never liked Scrooged. Then again I never liked other ones either. Bah.
    And humbug.

  • Duckler

    When’s the next live stream..? Assholes in santa hats πŸ˜‰

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Well the stream is free to view. People pay money to get noticed by Rich and Jack.to support them and last but not least-to get them to read out loud their stupid comment that they probably think is the height of wit.

  • Like Icare

    So THAT’S what “I’d buy that for a dollar!” means.

  • Palpatine

    You mean the Stream-a-thon? Oh, that’s not happening this year. Sorry.

  • Palpatine

    Then we’ll get a new Plinkett review. And if it’s good, we’ll also get a Plinkett review, and a positive one to boot.

  • Palpatine

    I’ll give them the most devalued currency in the world.

  • Palpatine

    Um, because I want to.

  • “You’ve known me for a long time, Bill…”

  • Palpatine

    And then there’s that annoying subscriber notification which has Rich saying; “What the fuck?!”, which is really annoying.

  • tOmy`

    Wooohooo, another great music documentary on the way!

    http://pitchfork.com/news/62489-daft-punk-perform-at-coachella-2006-in-documentary-daft-punk-unchained-clip/

    “Everybody I know who is a dance person was like ‘yea, my phone blew up that night'”

    Check it out at the movies… or Showtime. Well, I guess Showtime only.

  • Palpatine

    Humph, that’s not a PBS documentary on the life and works of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

  • tOmy`

    No, it’s better. Mozart didn’t have Pyramid Set.

  • Palpatine

    You young people have no taste in music!

  • tOmy`

    Aren’t you younger?

  • Palpatine

    I was just messing with you.

  • tOmy`

    “The Martian was nominated for Best Comedy at the Golden Globes”

    Good work, Ridley.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    eh. Rich Evans is bankable and they know it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Not quite as funny as The Counselor though. That film was a laugh riot.

  • Palpatine

    Jurassic World was a much better comedy than that.

  • tOmy`

    You can’t do the whole Pa Kent routine properly if you don’t have arthritis and punks on the lawn.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fuck the Golden Globes. They do everything wrong. Serious, Vikander while great in Ex Machina wasn’t even giving the best performance. Give some love to Poe Dameron, dammit!

  • Palpatine

    The Golden Globes are like the Oscars, minus the annoying hosts.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Minus good pics. Which is ironic because Jennifer Lawrence is nominated.

  • Palpatine

    He’s a funnier character than we’ve ever had before.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s already on your favorite movie shop.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I noticed that they premiered it in France half a year ago, so I should check it out. Just the talk about Coachella gave me goosebumps.

    But I have this odd feeling that this is gonna be my fav: https://vimeo.com/130747919

    (I think I posted it here already)

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    GET OFF MY LAWN!

    http://tinyurl.com/nfu3duj

    Meanwhile, in “Today in Noel Gallagher News”…

    http://tinyurl.com/nhoerfd

    When he’s correct, he’s correct.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I read that. Noel is my personal hero. Can’t wait for his take on new Radiohead LP. Or anything, basically.

    It’s fun to see news pages trying to censor his verbal assaults.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    You can’t do the whole Pa Kent routine.

    There, I fixed it for you.

    #ThereIsOnlyOne

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    You can’t spell “Internet Service Provider Is” without ISIS.

  • Palpatine

    I thought you said you weren’t coming back?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I never said that, did I? I said I wouldn’t be around as much, and I’ve kept my promise. Besides, it’s only a matter of days before Star Wars, so you could be grateful you get me at all.

  • Palpatine

    So are you a fan of Dr. Suess or something?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    It’s an AV Club-centric, meme-based thing.

    “It can be two things,” is a common reply when one gets backed into an argument there.

  • Palpatine

    Do you comment there often?

  • Does Noel Gallagher… matter any more? I hate both, anyway.

  • Like Icare

    Isn’t he verging into grumpy old man territory? Being 48 and all that? Shouldn’t he be on a show about vehicles of some kind with other old men?

  • Like Icare

    That first link… Oh… I can just picture Rachel Maddow banging her head on a desk over that.

  • Now I Get It

    I owe a couple of people replies, but I’m done for the year.

    http://rocketdock.com/images/screenshots/Spy-VS-Spy.png

    See you on the other side.

  • Palpatine

    Kids supporting war, that’s nice.

  • They support it as long as they don’t go. Very convenient.

  • Palpatine

    They wouldn’t support it this was the late 60’s, would they?

  • fred

    Louie is good show; better than those other hack comedy series.

  • It was a different time, wasn’t it? I’m strictly pacifist myself but I realize that peaceful solutions and intellectual discussions won’t help with ISIS. I am not sure whether sending US troops can remedy the situation, though. Not with NATO and Russia squabbling over who is helping and who is not and Saudi Arabia actively supporting the Islamic State and Asad being in power…

  • Now I Get It

    I never hate myself
    quite so much
    as when I try to rhyme
    Merry Thingmus
    to you and yours
    I is out
    in the NIG of time
    ‘cuz it’s my dime
    or I be…

    Aw, fuck it.

  • Palpatine

    I hope the 100th episode of HitB is a behind the scenes special. That is all.

  • Would certainly be nice. But on the other hand do we really want to know how the sausage is made? Don’t we just want to enjoy it? The hack-fraudery may be off the charts.

  • Palpatine

    I agree, but now we’re totally getting off topic.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Probably about half as much as I used to comment around here.

    My job is very, very boring, and the computer is, like, right in front of me!

  • Good to see you back, nonetheless. I missed your grumpiness.

    Plan 9 of the Apes was a better name, though.

  • Right. STAR WARS… What is it with people and wars?

  • Palpatine

    War is hell. That’s all.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    No. No he doesn’t. But, you know what they say…Even a broken clock…

    Adele = Granny Music. And, she’s 25. Twenty-five!! Tell me again how it’s old people who suck. (grin)

  • Marvin Falz

    The height of wit like most Youtube-comments. Rich’s reactions to some of those comments are phenomenal, they’re really funny, Rich has a good feeling for timing and payoffs. I also must give credit to Jack, he seems to genuinely want to entertain his viewers. All of what they do during the streams isn’t bad, I often watch the streams when they’re uploaded to YT. It’s just not entertaining enough for me to pay any money for PreRec.

  • Like Icare

    She’s tapping into that growing demographic of women getting older and more desperate by the minute.

    Not everyone can be a witch you know.

  • Marvin Falz

    Or send them jpegs of money via e-mail.

  • Sigh. I keep forgetting how old I am. Nearly 30, unemployed and nobody’s heard of my music.

  • Like Icare
  • Hey, let’s not forget that Jack is helping! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2ufwRs0NbA

    #creditwhereitsdue

  • Marvin Falz

    Also, hell is other people. So Star Wars should be renamed to Star Wars People Hell.

  • Screw Sartre. That is all.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Missed you too.

  • Marvin Falz

    Sorry, no homo and no necrophiliac.

    #Asperger-comment

  • Palpatine

    I’m dreading turning 30.

  • Marvin Falz

    It’s not so bad. I’m (not really) dreading turning 40.

  • Palpatine

    *Ass-burger.

    Sorry.

  • Like Icare

    He’s true upper management material. It’s amazing that he’s not running a country or a large metropolitan area somewhere.
    I’m guessing it’s clown-envy from all those amateur clowns out there that’s keeping him from realizing his true potential.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Yeah, but at least you’re not working at a law firm.
    #LittleVictories

  • $assburgershaming

  • Palpatine

    Lazy hack.

  • Palpatine

    You’re a lawyer? And don’t say “part time”!

  • Marvin Falz

    “I don’t want to have to kill a woman.” https://youtu.be/1JddCZEd07I?t=58s

    Sulu, you sexist fuck. Not wanting to kill someone based on gender. That is so wrong.

    #EmancipationTakenSeriously

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Mag’s current situation notwithstanding, the 30s were my favorite age. Prince and R.E.M. ruled music. I had a nice girlfriend. I was making money at an easy job with a terrific schedule. I had eight-pack abs. Batman was still cool.

    I’d go back to being 30 in a minute.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    No, but I work for them. It’s a long story.

  • Like Icare

    Cause he’s GAY Marv! Leave it alone!

  • Marvin Falz

    Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to offend Sulu.

  • Yep, it’s time for another one of those clickbait articles. If I actually had time to read I I’d probably tell you how elaborate a troll this is or how much of a moron the article is but I’m past caring. There is no way Star Wars Force Awakens will be as good as the prequels http://www.newstatesman.com/culture/film/2015/12/there-no-way-star-wars-force-awakens-will-be-good-prequels
    Let the shitstorm begin.

  • Palpatine

    It has to be a joke.

  • Marvin Falz

    Let’s not read but agree anyway that the article is either a joke as Palpatine suggests or written by a troll or some stupid person.

  • Like Icare

    Isn’t Newstatesman that right-wing rag that Rorschach is reading in Watchmen?

  • RLMkeepitup

    not sure the person who wrote that even saw the movies. maybe a robot copy and pasted it together using Lucas algorithms.

  • Marvin Falz

    First one of my stupid play on words:
    “Which Evans?” – “Witch Evans.”

    Okay, now that I’ve got that out of my system, my biggest discontent with TFA is the tremendous hype around it and my feeling that they try to push every button possible to lure you into that hype and into the cinema. You know, I’m the type of person who really likes to be emotionally engaged by a movie, but I hate it to be manipulated by a PR machine. Stupid fan theories and trailer reaction videos by fans don’t bother me as much, because the people behind those are just putting out their thoughts and feelings.

  • Like Icare

    After glancing it with a team of imaginary Nobel prize winners cheering me on I can say that it is a vapid collection of “I heard it on the internets” stuff combined with “Fuck Simon Pegg, that asshole” and just your regular clickbait.

    But there’s a link to some more shit by Zizek there too… so… if anyone feels like they need something to hate…

  • Marvin Falz

    We need more heros like you and your team of imaginary Nobel prize winners to boldly go, I mean to enter dreaded territories of internet clickbaitery for us and confirm the utter uselessness and time-wasting of entering the clickbait zone.

  • RLMkeepitup

    8 pack abs no wonder your girlfriend was nice to you

  • Ogrot

    From the article, “The Star Wars prequels subversions are multiple, and the films are rarely obvious as a consequence. Things that fans assumed would be hugely important are skated past; unexpected things are given enormous screen time.

    So it is that the fussy C3PO was built in a shack by a slave; the grungy R2D2 escaped from a palace. Anakin Skywalker is trained to be a Jedi Knight off-screen between films. The entire Clone Wars, the conflict alluded to once in Star Wars and obsessed about fans since, also happens off-screen between films. There are dozens of others.”

    I like how the author presents this long list of terrible story decisions as bold subversions of the genre on Lucas’ part. I can just picture this alternate universe Lucas thinking to himself, “Hmm. So there’s that moment where Obi Wan reminisces that Anakin was a good friend, so we’ll subvert that expectation by making Anakin a whiny asshole and Obi Wan his annoyed chaperone who are both happier when they aren’t on screen together for two movies.”

    Now let’s exercise some more artistic double think and declare more boldly brilliant subversions.

    Often times in a character tragedy the audience is meant to have a degree of sympathy and connection to the character so they can experience intense emotion when tragedy ultimately befalls the main character. In The Star Wars Prequels George Lucas brilliantly subverts this cliche by creating a character that is both alienating and infuriating to the audience and punctuates that character’s final tragic coup de grace with a comical soap opera scream.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What asshole writes this shit fuck?

  • Palpatine

    Oh God, he’s referencing the Star Wars Ring Theroy?!

  • Palpatine

    His name is James Coory Smith.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This is one Coory who won’t be in the house. But seriously why would someone write this?

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s all an elaborate phishing scam. At the end, he tells you he made 100k writing this @home and offers to share his secret.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Plinkett reviews aren’t very good if he likes the movie.

    Need I remind you of the Titanic review?

  • Palpatine

    You’re right. But you didn’t like that review?

  • Palpatine

    An elaborate what scam?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    You gawd-damn punks are still on my lawn?!!?

    http://tinyurl.com/zngs99u

    Ghosts of Christmas My-Ass

  • Mark Bisone

    You know. A scam to trick you into attending a Phish concert.

  • Palpatine

    Good for them.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Not enough hate for my taste.

  • Palpatine

    Goooooooooood.

  • Palpatine

    Okay, I’m convinced, Edmund Gween is Santa Claus.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Badum tish.

  • Dr.mental

    Agreed, I loved watching the clips where they left the camera rolling in the corner of the studio even. I remember one also where they were showing how to get a roach to move around, I am not and have nothing to do with making films but found this amusing

  • tOmy`

    Seeing all the reviews and discussions, I came to a consensus: For the first time ever I am calling TV shows the overlords of this year:

    1) Fargo
    2) Mr. Robot
    3) Better Call Saul

    And good luck, Hollywood.

  • tOmy`

    Maybe?

  • tOmy`

    And yes, feel free to entertain me on the idea that “you don’t have time” or whatever. Nah.

    Watch actual art beating the living fuck out of the cinema, or don’t whine.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Your list is wrong. unsubscribe!
    Mr Robot is 1. otherwise a fine comment.

  • tOmy`

    Mate… in my case, it’s like Whiplash vs. Birdman. Now I love Whiplash with all my heart and vagina, but you sorta have to give the credit to the “big boy” out there. And Fargo just raped everyone and everything. Even HBO overlords must be shaking.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Between VOD, american cable, the BBC and our ABC. why would I even bother with Hollywoulds comic obsession.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah but… Mr Robot…
    I love fargo heapster. the first series had to fight the movie fans but finally s2 got its own breathing room…. but…. Mr Robot…..

  • tOmy`

    Mr. Robot is everything we wanted to happen. It’s like Matrix again.

    Fargo is… art. Pure, pure art.

    To put it simply:

    Mr. Robot screams: “Do you get it?!”
    Fargo screams: “Can you beat it?”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Just out of curiosity. why are you posting random garbage off the Interweb?
    is it time to go off topic?

  • tOmy`

    Maybe?

    GET IT?!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats fair and I hate you for it. Damn your logical answers!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    shhhh!
    its a secret.

  • tOmy`

    But what connects these both shows:

    They took cliche… and then blew your fucking mind. And… I didn’t get this in a long time from… anything. It’s like: Yes! Yes! I have been waiting for this!

    Better Call Saul is “just” a way to make spinoff so fucking amazing that I am speechless. It’s style meets cool meets art in like the best drama / comedy combination.

    So again: Incredible year for TV and I do hope that HBO will have an answer, will penis up and will go all in with something incredible. This is their moment (yet again) to PUSH it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Amen.

  • Palpatine

    My mom would agree, she loves Fargo.

  • tOmy`

    I am curious: Did you get a chance to the S2 of Fargo? (You don’t need to see the movie / S1 beforehand).

    I honestly think that RLM fans (generally) would love it.

  • Palpatine

    I don’t watch it. You and my mother would be great friends considering you both love TV shows.

  • tOmy`

    Fuck TV shows, watch Fargo. I view you as RLM regular who understands concept of movie-making, script and the art behind shots. And this is the best way to “test” these skills.

    It’s 10 hours of everything right. And all that is everything right also looks like an art. So, if you ever have time, do it, mate. Even the trailer is soooo beautiful:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb9HACLDTwk

    (Fuck movies.)

  • Palpatine

    Mom, is that you?

  • tOmy`

    No, Sheev, it’s your subconsciousness. You should watch The Wire like every other person who loves… moving pictures.

    Speaking of The Wire, have you seen Justified? It’s… really not as good as The Wire.

  • The Oscar nominees this year should be glad Season 2 of Fargo is too long to be considered a movie, because it would/should win ALL the Oscars. I liked Season 1, but lost interest about halfway through. I kinda hated Colin Hanks for whatever reason. Can’t put my finger on it, but maybe because his scenes bored me to tears.

    But Season 2 just on its own is the best TV series I’ve seen since Breaking Bad. And I’m a huge Game of Thrones fan. For what it is, Fargo is probably better than Breaking Bad. I did go back and finish Season 1 and ended up loving the last few episodes.

    Mike, Jay and Rich talk about some films being “perfect.” I truly believe Fargo: Season 2 is a perfect miniseries.

  • For the record, I meant to reply to tOmy. Sorry Palpy.

  • tOmy`

    I actually devised a formula:

    Fargo: “We are so aaaaaaaart!”
    Mr. Robot: “We are so thriiiiiiiiil!”
    Veep: “We are so fuuuuuuuun!”

    Better Call Saul: “Well… we are just… really, really good?”
    The Wire: “We are still here, in Baltimore, black people still di-”

    And that’s the end of today’s tOmy` show.

  • tOmy`

    Amen, brother. This webzone is not big on TV shows and I am glad to have a small support here and there.

    Fargo S1 was fun. Fargo S2 is just flawless. As an HBO fanboy… I am slowly starting to realize that the “cruel, realistic” vibe was perfect for me… but… Fargo S2 just kicked ass.

    We tried here so hard and very hard to nitpick it… but you just sorta can’t. They absolutely nailed it. It is indeed flawless. So the only big question of the whole season will be: Will they pull off the unidentified [redacted] thing or not? And the joke is: Every other show wouldn’t be able to pull this off…

  • Palpatine

    What could this mean:
    http://i.imgur.com/awo2mhq.png

  • Sounds like he’s doing a porno next.

  • Mark Bisone

    Water sports?

  • Maybe a collaboration with Coldplay.

  • Palpatine

    Or maybe an indie drama!

  • Oooh, sounds like he wants to become a true artist. In that case he should get Jay on board as soon as possible.

  • Palpatine

    I approve. Godspeed Sir Leonard!

  • Mark Bisone

    Actually, now I’m thinking maybe his keyboard got stuck. The real title is YELL OF THE KRAMPUS, God willing.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It means Mike and Jay had better hurry the fuck up with space cop.
    There is a new sheriff in town.

  • I don’t get it.

  • Palpatine

    But he said the old filmmaker Len is gone. What does that mean?

  • Mark Bisone

    Not too shabby, for a Canadian. It’s kind of like comparing “Things” to “Aliens”; you have to grade on a curve, eh?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    new sheriff.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah it was convoluted and not funny, but I had to say something.

  • Palpatine

    I think it means he’s done making b-movies.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No offence to Len as I love his work and he scares me but I doubt it.

  • Domo

    Maybe it’s Krampus: Urinary Incontinence.

    Either works.

  • Palpatine

    Yellow does not sound like a b-movie.

  • Mark Bisone

    Tagline:

    This Christmas, you’re in trouble

  • Domo

    Everyone thought of feminine hygiene jokes, but this Christmas, they were sadly mistaken.

  • Mark Bisone

    That reminds me: I used a clever ploy to ambush Percy in the bar the other night. Sight unseen, I determined who he was, sat down at his table with my drink and said, “So, I ordered a Space Cop, but the guy didn’t know how to make it.”

    It was a surprise attack, so I’m guessing the joke whooshed past him.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    it could be the actual colour of the paper. yellow is usually pre shooting draft or something like that.

  • Mark Bisone

    You bladder watch out, you bladder not cry…

  • Domo

    Wouldn’t you be surprised if Jack Nicholson just plopped down at your table?

    Especially if he started making Space Cop jokes?

  • Domo

    We need a Percy Gryce bladder stone for a movie prop, stat!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Nicely played sir, nicely played.

  • Mark Bisone

    You’d think so, but it already happened twice to my neighbor in the last year (Although, the second time it was possible he was actually talking about law enforcement on the International Space Station).

  • Mark Bisone

    Just wait til I pay you a surprise visit, down undah. It will be like “The Ghost and the Darkness”…. except I’ll be both.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I want to make comments to domo and mark…. but what kind of heartless bastard would interrupt the flow…. Lets watch.

  • Domo

    Well, that shit gets really scary when law enforcement wants to act on a search warrant in the Space Station.

    Using a flash bang to startle astronauts; it’ll be a hit!

  • Palpatine

    Or it could be a 90 minute long film of a guy talking a leak.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m more ‘Serpent and the Rainbow.’ but each to their own.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trbvx1U6Ry8

  • Domo

    It was one guy’s obsession, to drink all the tea in China. But he paid the price.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Cheif: “You released teargas on the SPACE STATION!? give me your badge!”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yes!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    this!

  • Domo

    Just someone knocking on the locking bay doors would be interesting.

    “Open the door! We have a warrant!”
    “But I don’t have my space suit on! None of us do!”
    “He’s stalling! Ram that door down!”
    “A little warning next time, Houston!”

  • Mark Bisone

    Isn’t that the club across the street from The Manhole?

  • Domo

    It’s a much nicer establishment, and they serve better drinks.

    Their Naughty Jay Martini is best shaken and stirred.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Cop 1: “whats that noise?”
    Cop 2: “they are flushing the space toilet! break the door down NOW!”

  • Domo

    “Let us bow our heads for the brave law enforcement officer who tried to recover drug evidence flushed out the space toilet, only to be burned up with the evidence when accidentally re-entering Earth’s atmosphere.

    No other cop had quite the dedication he had. He was our little shooting star.”

  • Mark Bisone

    “Close the fuckin’ door!”

  • Domo

    In space, no one can hear Cameron Mitchell scream.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Stoned astronaughts is the worst idea ever.
    Dave: “Open the pod bay doors hal.”
    Hal: “Daves not here man…”
    Dave: “Dude this wasnt funny the first time….”
    Hal: “huhuhu daves not here man.”
    Dave: “Open the fucking pod door Hal or I will shove your bong so far up your arse that you will be puking bong water!”
    Hal: “sorry commander opening the doors now…..”

  • Domo

    Shhh. Don’t tell Seth McFarlane or Seth Rogen. They might get their version of a space parody film before RLM does with Space Cop.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    OH GOD! seth mc is dave and seth r is hal… this movie rights its self and need not grammmer or speeling.
    I’m going to be rich.

  • Don’t forget James Franco as the monolith.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You just got a writing credit.

  • Domo

    That monolith is such a one trick pony.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    What would be in a Space Cop? Boilo? Everclear? Acetone?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    They might need Bryan Wilson – Texas LAW HAWK:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmZiqwRnwtM

  • My name is Max.

  • Perfect match! Bamm!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    bleach and vodka.

  • Domo

    Hotdog paste and unlimited potential.

  • Palpatine

    Grounded up hot dogs mixed with ketchup and PBR.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    deep fried?

  • Palpatine

    That’s right Susan!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Palpy wins. that is a drink worthy of space cop.

  • Amontillado

    The Len Kabasinski you knew is gone, he is now going into a chrysalis stage and will emerge a new filmmaker. You will no longer see amateur grade – make fun of the Dutch angle filmmaking – he is becoming better, stronger, faster. Hold onto your butts, it”s gonna be a wild ride.

  • Amontillado

    I heard that there was a fourth Hobbit in the production, called Hobbit 4: Hobbit Goes to the Hood.

  • Palpatine

    He is becoming an artist.

  • Why not just hot dog water?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    because I hate limp bizkit. bunch of fucktards.

  • You gotta loosen up your chocolate starfish, man.

  • A Rich Evans statue made out of hot dog paste? /moist

  • Mark Bisone

    Too soon.

  • I mean it looked pretty awesome last episode, so I don’t see why not. I wasn’t shocked by it. I had been expecting a big reveal of that subplot ever since the first episode. Some people who also watch the show seemed to totally forget about it, but I always kinda thought it has something to do with Peggy’s issues, and it looks like that’s where they’re going.

  • Duckler

    Len Kabagibberish.

  • bassbait

    *fade to black…* *GUNSHOT*

    w-where… where am I? Oh god is this hell!!! Oh wait no, I’m just back in the RLM webzone.

  • Aren’t they one and the same?

  • bassbait

    the difference is that one lasts for an eternity… and the other one is Hell.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    hell’s not that bad. I’ll save you a seat by the pool.

  • Hell sounds like it could be more fun.

  • bassbait

    Rich Evans’ laughter is honestly therapeutic.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its the laugh of honesty. there is no faking that. it brings us with him into the joke.

  • bassbait

    I’ve had a shitty past few days and this is weird but I’d like to take the time to thank all of y’all RLM commenters. Glad to be a part of this micro-community (micrommunity?).

  • You’re welcome, on behalf of me. Uhm… you’re still behind tho with the payment of your membership fees. I will mail you my bank account details. One sec.

  • Red Skeleton

    *microbikini

    Wait, what?

  • bassbait

    I’ll allow it.

  • Yes. YES!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • bassbait
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Exactly! I was worried people might take it the wrong way.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have a mankini…. I dont but making you think that was worth it.

  • bassbait
  • Marvin Falz

    You’re the man now, dawg.

  • A new project for Andrew’s cosplay?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Bass for the win.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I dont think I could pull that off…. but i’m up for the challenge…. Lube me up.

  • Stahp tempting me, you hairy man. I’d jump over the pond with my seven-league boots in a second if I saw you wearing that outfit.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Other than my face I’m not that hairy. not even close to Mr Connery.

  • Disappointing!

  • LukasH

    This is happening.

  • LukasH

    If you ever feel like guilt-free venting, come to Exile.

  • Did you just name the place that must not be named?

  • LukasH

    That’d be Manhole.

  • You can discuss that with yourself from now on. Welcome to Exiled from Exiled from RLM.

  • LukasH

    I was expecting that to happen the whole time.

  • bassbait

    do I just start a thread? or…?

  • Just go nuts. <3

  • LukasH

    Yeah, definitely. Expect it to be on topic for almost ten to twenty minutes. But the chaos is supportive.

  • bassbait

    shit I don’t know how this topic thing works. Do I put my post in the “describe your discussion” section, or do I start the thread and then post in a comment?

  • LukasH

    Just shorty describe it and then comment, it makes it easier to reply.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    where do animated shows fits in? Bojack Horseman season 2 has as good of a script as any of these.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    no the rules are you cant mention the Manhole and you cant link to Exiled…. i think?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You can do almost anything…. we have to approve swearing but go fucking nutz.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yes it is. shhhhh

  • bassbait

    woah woah woah, watch your language… “nutz” is offensive.

  • LukasH

    WiZARDofOZ!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Stop looking at the man behind the curtain! because its you!

  • Red Skeleton

    Wouldn’t surprise me. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from advertising it’s that Australians all have beach bodies and live by the beach. And in the outback.

  • Marvin Falz

    This microbikini-community really is a good place.

  • Now I Get It

    And judge each case on its ferrets.

    ‘Til the new year.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Ah, a relative newbie. Just wait until they all turn on you, bubby.

    #TroublemakingOnTheInternetIsTooEasy

  • bassbait

    unrelated, but I find it hilarious that RLM, the group that brought us a scene of a cat being taken to a chop-saw, didn’t manage to bring a lot of controversy until they said “Boyhood wasn’t good”

    Maybe all it takes is one unpopular opinion?

  • Like Icare

    What is it with Seths?

  • Like Icare

    Is he also changing his name to Lenjandro Kabarowsky?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    One unpopular opinion.

    It’s the internet’s biggest fear. It must be destroyed.

    But, really, I think RLM was born of controversy(-lite). I think taking the stuffing out of George Lucas was a unique stance when they did it, even though it’s common now.

  • Yeah, it’s great for tits and jiggles.

  • bassbait

    I had always gotten the impression that people were dying to see the Prequels ripped apart, but that they still respected George for the early works he did.

    My first controversial opinion was “I don’t like Pulp Fiction”. Unfortunately, I’ve only had more and more controversial opinions since then. At this point I can cause controversy just by agreeing with the public consensus.

  • Like Icare

    Oh… So how long until they’re ripe?

  • Marvin Falz

    It has become a reflex. Mention George Lucas and all you get to read is something negative.

  • Marvin Falz

    The first Nadine-in-the-basement scene brought some controversy about. Some people believed the situation was real.

  • Like Icare

    Hobbz n the Hood: Smokin in the Shire.

  • bassbait

    but it was so unrealistic… nobody would buy that many Phantom Menace toys!

  • Marvin Falz

    <- laughs. Yeah, and no real collector would leave their toys in a dirty basement.

  • George Lucas is worse than Hit… man.

  • Marvin Falz

    After all, the prequels are a crime against humanity.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Ooh, that’s a good one. I bet that got you a ton of crap. I don’t like PULP FICTION all that much either, though.

    Many of my opinions tend toward the non-consensual, but I was nearly tarred and feathered when I told everyone BATMAN BEGINS was gonna be a sh!tty screenplay. Even now, no one will admit I was right (grin).

  • bassbait

    good news for you then, I thought The Dark Knight kinda sucked, and couldn’t even make it through Batman Begins because it was so shitty.

  • Karen Deeds

    I am getting a salary of more than 3000 dollars each week , that is awesome. Over a year ago I was in a horrible condition , jobless and Bank account with only few bucks . Thank one of my friends showed me a way where I was able to gather my self and making average of 85 d/h. So it can change your life as it has changed mine.

    giventhechance.at.st

    18

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Two complete strangers…find each other across a very crowded room…

  • Joe Syxpac

    Get a room, you two!

  • tOmy`

    You have to ask me when I am drunk again.

  • Who is not going to see TFA in cinemas?

    *raises hand*

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m gonna see it in cinema. Mainly to be a part of the conversation that’s gonna erupt around it and because deep down I want to have another truly great Star Wars movie. In the end though I only expect the worse though.

  • tOmy`

    I have to see it so I can start spoiling it on the interwebz.

  • I’d really like to see the film, but I hate going to cinemas. I’m more of a home cinema kind of guy. And not even a new Star Wars is gonna change that.

    Unfortunately I’ll probaby have everything about the film spoiled once it comes out on the Blu-Rays.

  • Happy belated birthday!

  • tOmy`

    Oh, thanks! <3

  • That guy with the eyebrows spilled the beans. πŸ˜‰

  • tOmy`

    Curse you, Facebook!

  • Ah, yes, only Facebook friends are true friends.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I love seeing movies on the big screen. It’s like playing games on PC*-the ultimate way to experience that particular medium;)

    *I do not endorse the downright autistic PCMR community/meme though.

  • Master racing is something I can relate to for some reason. If I had a whole cinema for myself I’d prolly enjoy it, too. But I don’t feel comfortable sitting in larger groups of people for 2 hours.

  • tOmy`

    So… where is my present? Let’s monetize on this stuff.

  • It’s a meet’n’touch with MCR. You got 1 hr to meet the guys and lube them up!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Give me your post adress and I’ll send you this:

    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41t%2B%2BtIL1ZL._SY300_.jpg

    HBD BTW

  • bassbait

    My family’s road trip is coincidentally timed so that we’ll end up having a chance to see it.

  • Domo

    You can’t give him just one. 42 of those will do just fine.

    Simply imagine them all wound up and running around on the floor at the same time. It would be magical.

  • bassbait

    nah, PC’s definitely not the ultimate. There’s benefits to consoles too and I prefer consoles by far for reasons that will make all gaming elitists hate me, but which are genuinely acceptable reasons to think that consoles are better.

  • Marvin Falz

    *raises hand*

    I’ll maaaaaybe watch it after its DVD release. My reason is hostility against what has become of Star Wars. I know I’m redundant, I repeat myself, I say the same thing over and over again.

  • tOmy`

    It’s not our fault HIT’N’RUN exists, mkay?

  • That’s great. I love it.

  • Marvin Falz

    Spongebob “SuperSponge” is a game for the PSX. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEpThpHAm04

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I like consoles too-heck I owned several of them but with a PC possibilities are endless-it’s not really about elitism(like I said I actually hate PCMR culture)but it’s objectively offers more freedom and power then every console ever made.

  • Marvin Falz

    No, I definitely won’t take a chance for TFA.

  • Palpatine

    I’m seeing it cinemas, and I’m trying my hardest to see it at midnight too. Yeah, I’m pathetic, I know.

  • bassbait

    true, that is objective. But what is subjective is whether or not “more freedom and power” is actually better. Much like a guitar with 300 strings offers “more range”, that doesn’t make it better than a guitar with 6 strings.

    Just saying, NES is a couple cords, a controller, some cartridges and a TV and you’re good to go. There are actual arguments to be made in favor of consoles being better, and it all boils down to preference. I prefer simplicity and I prefer the console games. I also personally can’t do keyboard/mouse games much anymore because of nerve damage in my arms, and that is a legitimate, shitty reason to be blocked from being able to play a certain format of games, that nobody ever thinks about. So I tend to stick with NES or N64 games, and I’ll defend them as a nice alternative to the huge mess of PC set-ups, running programs, keyboard/mouse induced arm pain, etc etc etc.

    Though I’ll hand it – PC is better in every conceivable way from the current generation of consoles. Because current gen has moved towards impracticality, which was the console’s best feature. When you bought an original Xbox, you were essentially buying a quick boot PC just with shittier control schemes. Now when you buy a PS4 you basically are buying a PC with no good features or games, and that makes you pause forever to download shit for some reason?

  • Domo

    I just want to watch one Star Wars film and be on the same plane as everyone else watching. Everyone has their favorite scenes, their favorite quotes, their favorite score when watching other Star Wars films, but that’s not gonna happen as easily with this one, at least in the beginning.

  • LukasH

    There’s a new Star Wars movie coming out?!

  • bassbait

    It’s exciting to think that I’ll finally be at the right age in my life to be a part of a big Star Wars event while it’s fresh. Wasn’t alive for the OT, was so young that you could find me in a grocery store parking lot for the prequels, so I’m excited to be a part of something that’s meant so much to me, and to be able to share that experience with the average joe, and not just dedicated fanboys and fangirls. Only so many Mike Stoklasa’s out there.

  • Domo

    We just purchased a PS4, and having been away from consoles for close to a decade, I’m having a harder time telling the difference between PC and consoles. They both share updates and have different configuration options. There’s logging in and out of different user accounts, having enough storage for all your saved games, and now having the ability to watch Netflix/youtube/twitch and whatnot through your console.

    If you really want, they both can be eerily similar. Older consoles, definite differences, but newer ones, not quite so much, at least for me.

  • tOmy`

    If the world wasn’t round, we could have like a Skype conference during the movie, pissing off all those yelling 12yo when the Millennium Falcon shows up.

  • Domo

    Ahhh. Internet. Never change!

  • Palpatine

    I’m gonna be yelling when the Falcon shows up!

  • Marvin Falz

    My one (actually two) have been Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. I didn’t go to see Revenge of the Sith in a cinema.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I saw Revenge of The Sith on it’s premiere actually and stupid young me thought it was great. 10 years later now though the only thing I remember is that the people laughed like mad during Vader’s NOOOOOOO.

  • tOmy`

    I just realized that the world has peaked. We, as a human specie, finally made it to the extensional nirvana. You can now order Cheeseburger via internet and get a free kiwi bubble tea with strawberry bubbles. This is it, ladies and gentlemen. It doesn’t get any better than this.

  • tOmy`

    I am gonna scream: “Yes! I love X-Wings!”

  • Marvin Falz

    I remember the people laughing at lil Yoda swirling around with the sword. I remember hating everyone in the audience.

  • bassbait

    See, what I love about the NES is that the limitations *made* the games. Good NES games? Nearly flawless (because they’re shorter games so there’s less chances to fuck up). Bad NES games? Hilariously, endearingly bad. Good modern games? Kinda boring and forgettable. Bad modern games? Kinda boring and forgettable. There are obvious stand-outs like any generation, and obvious really REALLY bad games (Ride to Hell), but there’s no longer that fun of finding a game and having no idea what you’re in for. I had never heard of Ninja Gaiden in my life, and it was the first NES game I ever bought, along with SMB and Battletoads. I didn’t know what I was in for, but now it seems unavoidable that you know exactly what you’re getting. Part of that is spending 60 fucking dollars on a game. I guess I’ve always just been a thrift store type of person, preferring to find hidden gems for low prices over spending a huge bulk of money on 1/10th the amount of things.

  • Domo

    I never saw the OT initially, and when the Prequels came out, friends were all like “Watch the prequels first in the cinema! You’ll love it and it’ll be a different experience!” Holy Hell was that a bad decision. Maybe this is a bad decision, too, to watch TFA, but if I think it’s bad, at least I can make that decision for myself.

  • Palpatine

    I saw Revenge of the Sith in the theater when I was about nine years old. I remember laughing the whole time.

  • bassbait

    I saw all of the prequels, thought not necessarily on premiere, definitely in theaters. They call came out right near my birthday so it was a birthday present. I have no regrets. I enjoyed them then, and now I have Plinkett reviews to enjoy in their place.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the shipping drones and driver less cars are coming, gun sales show no sign of peaking yet.. give us more time to grow as a species

  • Domo

    “It’s a Twin Ion Engine you FUCK.”

  • bassbait

    and we thought landing on the moon was an accomplishment.

    But can we land a cheeseburger on the moon??

  • Marvin Falz

    You got your money’s worth. I guess.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You nailed that bit about current gen consoles-you get a pre-packaged PC without none of the advantages of a PC. Though if I ever have a spare 300-400$ I’ll pick up a PS4 merely for Bloodborne.

  • Palpatine

    The human race is going to end up how they did in WALL-E.

  • Marvin Falz

    “It’s better to regret something you did than something you didn’t do.” Red Hot Chili Peppers quoting The Butthole Surfers.

    We all make bad decisions. It’s part of the matrix of this world and unavoidable.

  • bassbait

    I’ve never played any of the Souls games. I feel like it’d be smarter for me to skip to Bloodborne because I like the universe better than the Souls games. But I won’t bother. Only thing PS4 related that I’m hyped about is The Last Guardian, aka the game that will never happen (according to fanboys). That’s the only game of this entire generation that I’m actually hyped for. Also Mario Maker but I missed my chance with that.

  • Marvin Falz

    Who’s paying for that bill?

  • tOmy`

    If you soak it in a bubble tea while watching free stepdaughter porn on your iPad, there is no limit.

  • Palpatine

    I never turned on you!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I think the greatest modern “so bad it’s good” game is Deadly Premonition-it’s like if Twin Peaks was made into a video game by an Alien who’s only reference for human culture was Anime…and Twin Peaks.

  • Palpatine

    But no Naboo starfighter. πŸ™

  • bassbait

    I’ve been dying to play it actually. I’ve had my eye on it forever. As a fan of Twin Peaks, and “so-bad-its-good” entertainment, especially games of that variety, I’ve always thought that it would be right up my alley. Though I cause a lot of controversy by having an appreciation for games that suck. Sometimes it’s because you’re not allowed to say certain games are bad, and sometimes it’s because you’re not allowed to say certain games are good. Point is, the “gaming community” is toxic as fuck. There needs to be a “so bad it’s good” culture to gaming.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • bassbait

    The show says they’ve been around since 2008. I’m a little disappointed that it hasn’t happened yet.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Well the issue is that gaming is not a passive medium-if the gameplay sucks donkey balls there’s very little about it that can be pleasurable in any way I think.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Thanks Obama.

  • bassbait

    the greatest sin art can commit is being boring. I’ve played lots of boring games, but I’ve also played games that were entertaining despite being garbage. The first Amnesia game, for example, was very very engaging all the way through, but for all the wrong reasons. I laughed through many sections of the game, and I was dying to see how much stupider it could get. It didn’t disappoint.

    The way “so bad it’s good” entertainment really works, is that you make your own entertainment out of it. It’s possible to make your own entertainment out of playing games too, but people are just too anal about that shit. They get upset when you exploit glitches for fun, or when you don’t take the (shitty) plot seriously, or when you aren’t scared by something that isn’t scary. It’s like, I enjoyed Amnesia thoroughly, and also thought it was a bad game. Is it wrong of me to enjoy it for reasons beyond the creators’ intentions? Because according to gamers, you are only allowed to enjoy games the way creators intend. At least, that was my experience talking to gamers about this topic lol.

  • You laughed at Anakin burning and screaming in pain?

  • Palpatine

    Among other things, yes.

  • It’s a documentary on the LGBT community.

  • Palpatine

    So speaking of Star Wars, when I saw Revenge of the Sith in theaters for the first time, I was laughing the whole movie.

  • And you were nine years old? Wouldn’t that have been like the perfect age to actually enjoy the prequels? I’m just curious because my nephews love the prequels. The original trilogy basically doesn’t exist in their world.

  • Paulus Nuns

    Am I the only one that doesn’t care that much about Star Wars 7?

  • Palpatine

    Read the below comments and see for yourself.

  • Like Icare

    Speaking of Star Wars… New Adam Sandler movie is apparently out.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUp7Qgimn38

  • Palpatine

    I hope this is reviewed for the 100th episode of HitB.

  • Paulus Nuns

    I sense a lot of caution, especially in the people that is 30+ yo. But most people here wanna watch it. A good amount of folks will, so they are able to discuss and getting nerd about it, which I approve. But it feels more like a social event, than a cultural event.

  • Like Icare

    Soo… you sense much fear in them?

  • Paulus Nuns

    Mild fear I sense…but Palpy is the expert here

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Who needs Jar Jar when you have Anakin’s and Padme’s romantic dialogue.

    KKKlasic.

  • Palpatine

    You call?

  • Palpatine

    Of course I loved the Prequels when I was a kid, I was laughing out of stupid enjoyment.

  • Palpatine

    Or me going; “POWAH!!! UNLIMITED POWAH!!!!!”

  • LukasH

    Nope, I might watch it down the line, but there is not an ounce of hype in me.

    Ounce is a thing, right?

  • Palpatine

    I’m looking forward to seeing it, but I’m not hyped for it.

  • The only thing that was left was to ham it up, eh?

  • Paulus Nuns

    I’ll definitely watch it at some point. But now comes the time for marketing: Star Wars cereals, chips, pogs, toys…can you feel your hype rising up?

  • Palpatine

    Marketing does not get me hyped.

  • Paulus Nuns

    That’s the joke, it has the opposite effect. If only I could go the cinema not knowing anything about it…

  • Palpatine

    I barely know anything about it, mainly because of how cryptic the trailers have been.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Don’t know what that is.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Everybody experiments in college.

  • Like Icare

    Now comes the time? I thought the marketing was on for mont… umm… decades.

  • Like Icare

    Timing IS right…

  • tOmy`

    Here is your daily dose of WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMS and falling bridges: X-Men: The Apoocalypse trailer

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=138&v=COvnHv42T-A

  • Domo

    Are you saying George Michael is in this trailer?

    Is he dancing or just showing off his gorgeous mane?

    I’m so excited to find out!

  • Like Icare

    Famke Janssen has really let herself go there.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    badum tish

  • Like Icare

    Don’t forget to wake us up before you go-go.
    Just leave a comment on this here webzone and let the magic of the internet and pizza rolls do the rest.

  • Like Icare

    Badum TSHI!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I wasn’t speaking personally, P. Was just making a joke.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Nope. I am the only one, however, who cares NOT AT ALL.

  • LukasH

    Oh yeah, that guy who used to sing in that duo, named after an onomatopoeia. You know, Snikt!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    There is literally nothing about this I dont hate.

    “Following the critically acclaimed global smash hit X-Men: Days of Future Past, director Bryan Singer returns with X-MEN: APOCALYPSE. Since the dawn of civilization, he was worshipped as a god. Apocalypse, the first and most powerful mutant from Marvel’s X-Men universe, amassed the powers of many other mutants, becoming immortal and invincible. Upon awakening after thousands of years, he is disillusioned with the world as he finds it and recruits a team of powerful mutants, including a disheartened Magneto (Michael Fassbender), to cleanse mankind and create a new world order, over which he will reign. As the fate of the Earth hangs in the balance, Raven (Jennifer Lawrence) with the help of Professor X (James McAvoy) must lead a team of young X-Men to stop their greatest nemesis and save mankind from complete destruction.”

    Kill me now.

  • Palpatine

    Are you going to see it though?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Don’t worry so much.

    In a world where JURASSIC WORLD can be the “third most popular movie of all time,” there is (almost) no way the general consensus on this is going to be anything less than “the third best Star Wars movie, ever, ohmigawwwwwd, so happy, so happy, fun, fun, fun, it’s the best time to be alive, old people suck.” Unless Abrams pulls a real boner (like making Luke a moustache-twirling villain) or the movie is truly, laughably awful, fanboy nation is gonna be as pleased as Jared Fogle after a pornography binge.

    The only thing you have to deal with will be your own personal, individual reaction, and that’s something you can live with.

  • RLMkeepitup

    will be tough to squeeze a coke product in this time but he is the master

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Nope. I still haven’t seen the last one.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I see a lot of x-girls in there, though we could go xxx and get vin diesel in this, make it furious son. They even threw some mockingjay, now that’ll getem twitterin. Mmm-hmm love me that disaster porn at the end, RIP New York (again)! And What Adele! on no they didn’t! *inception noise*

  • dollar store cashier wife

    formulaic modern trailer,shoddy looking CGI and way too much Jlaw. But Days of Future Pants was pretty darn good and X2 is still among my favorite superhero movies. What I’m saying is I don’t think B.Singer will fuck up. He’s the only person who made good X-men movies in the first place ya’know?

  • LukasH

    “Kiwi bubble tea with strawberry bubbles” are you coming out or starting a mildly succesful lifestyle Youtube channel?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Pulp Fiction is one of those rare movies I liked in the theatr at the time, but did not when it came to cable. Same thing with Shrek.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Stay on target…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think it’ll be something along the likes of : “What the hell are you worried about? This is 1874. You’ll be able to sue *her*.”

  • Domo

    It almost feels a little Hunger Games, especially with Jenni in curly hair and a full dark bodysuit. I wonder if they’re aiming for that audience with their trailer design.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I could totally see that angle working out.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’m doing a “thing” with 99 Red Balloons – anytime you want to join in, people…

    99 RLM reviews, floating in internet tubes,
    Pizza rolls, it’s Plinkett’s house,
    There’s something here from Milwaukee,
    where Cousin Eddie’s tour guide’s from
    The Fuckbot 5000 springs to life
    Opens up one eager bottom
    Fuck the pain away
    As 99 Half in the Bags go by

  • tOmy`

    That is a very cynical way of looking at this trailer, so you are most likely right.

  • Palpatine

    Which last one?

  • bassbait

    question – is Empire the best Star Wars film? Or Attack of the Clones?

  • RLMkeepitup

    answer now to claim your limited edition furbacca: http://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/BWMAAOSwiLdWBqIl/s-l1600.jpg

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    The last one that was out. The last prequel. Episode Whatever The Fuck.

  • Palpatine

    Oh that’s easy, Attack of the Clones.

  • Palpatine

    Oh, Revenge of the Sith. You’re not missing much: Anakin becomes Darth Vader, all but two Jedi are killed, Luke and Leia are born, Padme dies, the Empire is created, and C-3P0’s memory is wiped.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Looks like the jokes at SNL could use a midichlorian booster: http://static1.squarespace.com/static/51b3dc8ee4b051b96ceb10de/t/54848533e4b0e92f1bb3c879/1417970996130/?format=1500w
    edit: damn this is a year old

  • tOmy`

    Transparent: Season 1 (Amazon Prime) is indeed a great piece of adult television. A lighter, more heartwarming shade of Six Feet Under, Transparent casually shifts between darker, dialogue driven comedy and drama encapsulating coming out, gender roles, sex, drugs, love and religion; all very neatly centered around 3 siblings and their dad (slash mom). All these characters enter the story just as their lives hit obstacles connected to sexual identity, their past and their sex-life, and leave the first season with messy road ahead of them; some of the mess they themselves created, some of the mess that life just sometimes throws in your face.

    A charming, slow, melancholic, funny and intellectual breeze of fresh air in the small TV shows world. Episodes ranging from 7/10 to 10/10, would recommend.

  • bassbait

    waking up in immense pain in multiple limbs isn’t fun. I guess now I know how Darth Vader feels!

    *slide whistle*

  • Like Icare

    Well… Suits sure look like that Shaming Jay suit.

    http://cdn2-www.comingsoon.net/assets/uploads/gallery/bts-x-men-apocalypse/xmen0002.jpg
    http://www.jabberjays.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Target-Poster.jpg

    But to be fair… they may be just working their designs based on the current riot suits.
    http://www.damascusgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/riot-suit-featured.jpg

    Trouble is… That’s stupid.
    Riot gear looks like that cause it is designed not for action but for standing in one place and taking blunt trauma hits without suffering breaks or lacerations.
    Oh, and you get a shield.

    You put that design on a character that jumps around… and it starts acting stupid.
    Particularly if your character gets a bright idea to go “Look at ME!” spread-eagled in the middle of the shot.
    So everyone can see that what looks like kevlar in one shot acts and bends like cotton in the other, while her shoulders go up, looking very padded but not very armored.
    It looks like a cheap cosplay suit.
    http://cdn1-www.comingsoon.net/assets/uploads/gallery/bts-x-men-apocalypse/xmen0001.jpg

    So, either everyone’s brains will get a message telling them it all looks fake and cheap and cosplay-like… or we’re into quite a bit of unrealistic and CGI-enhanced fights.

    It’s Dark Knight Batsuit 2.0 again. Only wrong.
    Batman didn’t get a new suit cause Bruce Wayne needed to be able to turn his head and move faster.
    He got it cause Christian Bale needed to be able to move and turn his head more easily and actiony and in order to be able to utilize more bat-gadget solutions in the movie.

    Apparently, Singer didn’t get that memo, so everyone wears plates on their chests and neck armor purposefully left unzipped. Cause plastic and rubber DON’T BREATHE.

  • Thomas Hunt
  • Palpatine
  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I wasn’t worried about missing anything. Indeed, I could’ve predicted all of that.

    In fact, I’m not at all worried about missing this next one or any of the 38 – 79 planned upcoming ones. Because? Because I’ve seen this sh!t already. Oh, an unexpected hero rises to use magic and a blue laser sword, while spaceships whoosh around and stuff blows up, and there’s a bad guy — scary — and aren’t robots cute? How Gawd-damned scintillating.

    Sorry. I hope it turns out to be everything that makes you happy. I’ve just been there, done that. And, I wasn’t all that amazed by it the very first time.

  • Like Icare

    Spongebob will discipline a bitch.

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    But at least it will have Jubilee! Right?

  • Like Icare

    I wonder if it will address current global political situation.
    With the whole… tearing down the world to build a different one based on religious worship laws thing.

  • Palpatine

    Fair enough. Thanks for being nice about it at the end of your comment.

  • Palpatine

    The poster makers were probably like; “Ret’s make the brack guy small as possibru.”

  • Like Icare

    You’re confusing it with Japan. In China it would be more like this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZCtnb81OhV4#t=1389

  • Commander X

    Vanilla Ice as Mark Twain. Huh.

    “As I told that mysterious Eastern warrior fellow, ‘Go forth, ninja! Go forth, ninja! Go!'”

  • bassbait

    ninja, ninja, hoedown. ninja, ninja, hoedown.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Gang, its not that hard… I chose the second Stanza (blue, mostly) to let someone set up the “You and I in a VCR shop, counting all the percocet we’ve got”. It’s like you people neva hoid of ‘Weird’ Al Yankovic, sheesh!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Go to your little breathing pod, you can put your feet up and force choke the stooges in your service.

  • Paul S.

    How come Jay hasn’t seen Rare Exports? That’s been my go-to Christmas film since I first saw it in 2011 or so.
    Come to think of it, has there ever been a Half in the Bag about a subtitled foreign film? Racking my brain I thought they may have mentioned the excellent La Grande Bellezza in passing but who knows.
    There’s a significant number of solid Korean action and detective films. It’s a real shame that most people only think of Wuxia fantasy or brutal Indonesian fighting films when it comes to the east. Some Korean stuff is goofy &/or bad but there have been excellent films made recently that put Hollywood to shame.

  • bassbait

    The Last Circus. Also Robot.

  • bassbait

    I could really use a breathing pod right now actually. Been having trouble breathing the past couple days.

  • bassbait

    Why did Palpatine need a puffy monster face, when he already was old?

  • I see. πŸ˜‰

  • I always wondered that, too. He already looked so perfectly creepy in the OT. And then they just dumped a shitload of dough on his forehad. http://i.imgur.com/ui6z640.jpg

  • Palpatine

    Puffy monster face=evil.

  • Palpatine

    Man, I used to look ugly. Thank God I got that plastic surgery.

  • Like Icare

    That sound was Val Kilmer blowing his own brains out in despair.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsmQx6SQIZM

  • Like Icare

    To quote Daniel Craig in that recent film of his: “…and you guys don’t even get to fuck Rachel Weisz.”

  • Like Icare

    Fugit what? Tampons? Why would that make more sense?

  • Like Icare

    Because that was a puffy face we did not deserve, but the one we needed?

  • RLMkeepitup

    does anyone watch SNL these days..

  • RLMkeepitup

    3d hd does wonders for those closeups doesn’t it

  • bassbait

    snail? snarl? ?? what is this… “SNL”?

  • Like Icare

    So I’m watching Rachel Maddow while lifting weights… because lesbians and politics are great for testosterone levels I just made that up…

    And I can’t the idea of George Bush watching Trump talk and giggling to himself.
    “And you thought MY jokes were bad.”
    http://amazingdata.com/mediadata30/Image/hot_weird_funny_amazing_cool3_george-bush-funny-faces-22_2009072603444510690.jpg

  • Like Icare

    It’s where Adam Sandler came from.

  • bassbait

    SaNdLer.

    I see…

  • RLMkeepitup

    I always kinda thought Rachel Maddow and Sean Hannity might be the same person.

  • Palpatine

    Who does she anchor for?

  • Like Icare

    She’s on NBC.

  • Palpatine

    Oh. I don’t watch the news, so I wouldn’t know.

  • Like Icare
  • RLMkeepitup

    well that’s the Fox News business model. recruit more blondes, more bimbos

  • Like Icare

    She does more analysis than news. And she is pretty damn insightful.
    Sorta like Jon Stewart minus the jokes and with a more in depth approach.
    Also, contagiously enthusiastic about stuff that most people would consider boring.

    Speaking of Stewart…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHHQ9WdFekc&feature=player_detailpage#t=80

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I never thought I would miss that guy… but he is starting to look intelligent and statesman like…. in comparison…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9nECAs1i_k

  • At least Georgie was a proper decider.

  • Bubs

    I firmly believe Trump-As-President will bring about the end of America as a nation, and possibly the apocalypse. So I say: bring him on.

  • It’s gonna be a long nuclear winter, man. Let’s have a LAN party in some remote vault.

  • bassbait

    or we could play Monopoly. By the time we finish, the sun will have exploded.

  • Paul S.

    ahh I’ve tried to forget everything about The Last Circus haha

  • Yes, and the resulting microaggressions will ensure that even the last remains of mankind will sooner or later take care of themselves. Extinction incoming!

    Board games are the devil’s work.

  • Amontillado

    He is becoming a new Kabisnkis, he will cease to have a surname…

  • Amontillado

    Now you’re making the Commentariot weird. Since when do we interact with real life? I thought this was RLM, I thought we didn’t have to give a hoot in hell!

  • Amontillado

    You have officially lost it my man. Drink some beer and eat pizza, you’ll come back to Earth. And watch some George Carlin, that’ll get you sane.

  • Palpatine

    He’s gonna drop out soon, just wait.

  • Amontillado

    Naw, he loves the publicity too much.

  • Amontillado

    Look, the prequels pulled some bullshit, but back in the 80’s – when you could go au nateural – oh man, you was a sight to see, perfectly goo-looking. Keep on trucking Palpy.

  • Palpatine

    Whatever. Wait, I hate talking about politics, so why am I getting involved in this conversation? Goddamn it, we need new content!

  • Amontillado

    You’re conflating Japanese tonality with Mainland Chinese – which changes depending on dialect. For starters, Mandarin Chinese has an R and an L sound – thhus the pronunciation of ‘Ret’s’ instead of ‘Let’s’ makes sense if making fun of Japanese diction but not if directed to Chinese. And also, we have a looooong way to go as a species as it has taken us a couple thousand years not to be complete assholes to one another. We can do better people, always.

  • It’s gonna be a long week.

  • MPJZ

    I went and saw Krampus today solely because a couple of hack frauds recommended it. I’m not a horror guy like Jay is, but I really, really liked it. Thanks for the recommendation you fucks. Merry Christmas.

  • Palpatine

    Maybe the Christmas BotW will be posted before then.

  • That’d be rad.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have never finished a game of monopoly. eventually we would all get bored and just say who ever had the most money was the winner. and I stole from the bank all the time.

  • bassbait

    what do you think they’ll do this time?

  • bassbait

    I don’t know anyone who has made it to the end. It might be easier to create an actual monopoly than it is to beat that game.

  • Wolvy

    SNL most over rated show ever.

  • bassbait

    ever seen Friends?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    not in australia. I have to stop and think about it when people say SNL.. “Oh yeah… that show that was good in the early 80’s. That we never saw.”

  • Palpatine

    Silent Night, Deadly Night 2; Santa With Muscles starring Hulk Hogan; and 8 Crazy Nights, a terrible animated film with Adam Sandler.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    3 shows I never want to see anything of ever again.
    3) Seinfeld.
    2) Mad about You.
    annnnnd
    1) Friends.
    Neurotic new yorkers are less funny than they think they are…. LOOKING AT YOU WOODY ALLEN!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure! Do it Mike and Jay… you know you want to…..

  • bassbait

    Seinfeld is hilarious. But yea, fuck Friends. Both the show and actual friends.

  • bassbait

    of course they have to capture the “GARBAGE DAY!” movie. It’s like one of the most recognized “bad christmas movies” ever just because of that one meme.

  • Palpatine

    Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these.

  • infernocanuck

    She’s also incredibly biased, and like much of modern television journalism, she has a very clear agenda.

  • bassbait

    yes but is an agenda such a bad thing?

    Brought to you by Subway.

  • Marvin Falz

    Sounds like a cleverly disguised societal truth to me.

  • The only winning move is not to play.

  • Marvin Falz

    Cheers’ take on the nature of economics with a game of Monopoly: https://youtu.be/l5betsZNsGM

  • Thanatos2k

    When I saw a trailer for Krampus like 3 months ago I burst out laughing in the theater.

  • J. J. Abrams’ first post-SW movie will be coming out next year.
    https://youtu.be/192nSuo_FMM

  • Speaking of Trump. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!
    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-35066940

  • Gojira: Cloverfield?

    Which reminds me that Cloverfield was named… Project: Monster in Poland because the distributors thought the original title would be too vague.

  • The german title of Airplane! was “The Incredible Journey In A Crazy Plane”.

  • Was it a compound noun? Ours was “Is there a pilot on board?” which I found kind of clever.

  • No! πŸ˜‰

  • Is this like a new meme? I’ve seen a couple of those already.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/Oa2vc5td2qREc/giphy.gif

  • Yup, that scene from Pulp Fiction has been popping up all over the place during the last months.

  • Oh, wait. That was sarcasm, rite? /facepalm

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s [not] gonna be great.

  • I’d rather watch some tentacle hentai.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yes. This.

  • “At first it was rape… but then she kinda got into it. Octo Alien Attack Massive Size Obedient Slave Story!”

  • Like Icare

    Same here. And looking at who else used that version of the title…
    I’m having a feeling that it was Canadians who came up with that.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080339/releaseinfo?ref_=tt_dt_dt#akas

  • Like Icare

    What? Not… Etwas-etwas zum verlieben? Or is that more of a ’90s thing?

  • Like Icare

    Well… At least they know their constituency…

  • Like Icare

    I ate some tuna with olives and pork sausage with mayonnaise.

    No. It’s not a euphemism.

  • Like Icare

    Did anyone ever capitalize on that by producing a brand of cider with that name?

  • Yes. This.

  • Like Icare

    Well… in space no one can hear you scream… and it’s mostly dark and empty…

    So it stands to reason that it is full of alien rapists.

  • bassbait

    it’s not the aliens we should be afraid of…

    https://f1.bcbits.com/img/a3332556047_10.jpg

  • bassbait

    I thought it was Mr Bean at first. That would have actually been funny.

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare
  • Bubs

    Why did you link this? Who is your target audience?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Lord of the rings is on TV and its brilliant but I keep screaming “Seee Jackson you sheep shagging dick bag you CAN MAKE A MOVIE!!!! SO WTF WAS THAT THE HOBBITS SHIT!?”

  • tOmy`

    90s kids can suck my pom pom.

  • Peeder had no time for proper pre-production, you magnificent b.. erson.

  • Alien vs. Sexual Predator?

  • bassbait

    I think the same thing when I watch “Bad Taste”.

  • bassbait

    did this just turn racist?

  • That’s what the dirty aliens get for faceraping everyone. They have to fight the Rich Evans, sex pervert.

  • bassbait

    5 hours of sleep the night before. 3 hours of sleep tonight. Is this trend going to continue downwards until I no longer need sleep, and then develop super powers?

  • bassbait

    imagine Alien, but replace Ripley with Rich Evans.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Have you seen meet the feebles and braindead too?

  • And when the xenomorph pops out of his belly… https://youtu.be/MNW-qxl8uHc?t=17s

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut. he didnt have to make 5 insultingly bad CGI cluster fucks. del toro being a dick or not.

  • Like Icare

    People seeing remarkable resemblance between crazy Riker and crazy shooter?

    Also, did the timelines just change?
    https://youtu.be/RiHnqv098LY?t=1428

  • You might develop hallucinations that lead you to believe you have super powers, so yes.

  • Like Icare

    That’s actually kinda the plot of Stephen King’s “Insomnia”.

  • All the wheels had already been set in motion. It was too late to cancel the whole project.

  • bassbait

    not Meet the Feebles, though I’ve wanted to for some time. Braindead is still called “Dead Alive” in America and yea, that one was classic.

  • bassbait

    what’s the diff?

  • Uhm, there’s no difference. Move on.

  • bassbait

    I’d read it if I could pay attention.

  • bassbait

    do you think if I stay awake for even longer I’ll develop hallucinations that Jar Jar is the key to all this?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I stand by my statement…. 5 CGI Cluster Fucks. oh and its a kids book but lets make the last one have a R rated cut.

  • Nah, that’s just a sign that you’ve been browsing Reddit for too long.

  • tOmy`

    Or Nolan’s Insomnia.

  • 5? You talking crap about TTT and ROTK? Get outta here, you!

  • Boy, do I hate Meet the Feebles. And I owned that piece of trash on DVD. :<

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah You seppos ruin alll foreign movies by giving them stupid names. I shall never forgive your culture for the theatrical release of what you would call ‘The Road Warrior.’

  • tOmy`

    There is nothing that snorting two Stilnoxes and chasing it with wine couldn’t solve.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Feebles is trash genius. now “Got any drugs? I’ll take anything, Aspirin… Vicks Vapor Rub!”

  • bassbait

    are you saying that “The Road Warrior” *isn’t* one of the best titles ever? Gotta disagree there.

    And the Braindead thing was an issue because there was already a film called Braindead. Not sure if it was any good. Tbh I always knew the film as “Braindead” before I found out it was called “Dead Alive” here.

    Is there a derogatory term for Australians? Because if not, I claim “Aussholes”. Only because I can.

  • Bubs

    Oh, I didn’t catch that on the first viewing. Thanks for elaborating.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I had two hours sleep in 5 days once… that was memorable. I think, I dont remember most of it.

  • bassbait

    usually my sleep deprivation is brought on by either intense anxiety or by intense creative spurts. I wish I could say it’s the latter right now.

  • Nah, not feeling that movie at all. You must have had a candle stuck in your outback.

  • And by the latter you mean masturbation?

  • Bubs

    No. It’s going to continue until your heart gives out. Try watching 2001: A Space Odyssey. It always puts me right to sleep.

  • bassbait

    you asked me to watch my absolute favorite film. It’d backfire because that’d just make me twice as awake as before. My eyes are always glued to the screen when I watch it and then afterwards I spend hours pacing back and forth trying to organize my thoughts on what it’s saying.

  • bassbait

    bassturbation*

  • bassbait

    though I could try The Dark Knight…

  • bassbait

    ever watch Wonder Showzen? I’d assume there’s some similarities. Wonder Showzen is brilliant, just sayin’

  • *cocks shotgun*

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its weird, I cant think of a real racist type name for australians. nothing like Limeys or seppos or frogs or krauts.
    within Australia white people are referred to as Skipps by immigrants. because of ‘Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.’

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_agtNKbgSfI

  • What’s does that mean? Are you gonna sit on your subwoofer while playing dubstep?

  • Boong?

  • bassbait

    I think that Australia is just such a shithole that any derogatory name for people from there is taken as a badge of pride. Same goes for America though.

  • Red Skeleton

    So I hear the guy who killed Apollo had the nerve to show up at the Creed premiere. The asshole.

    http://www.blackfilm.com/read/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Creed-Premiere-Dolph-Lundgren-2.jpg

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    4 shit hobbit movies and one R cut of a shit hobbit movie. Pay attention there was 4!! of the shit things!

  • Red Skeleton

    I hope they at least played his theme music when he appeared.

    https://youtu.be/g4c-M4MP0GE?t=15

    …. Wait, something’s wrong.

    No, no it’s good.

  • bassbait
  • Red Skeleton

    you lost me.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats just a racist term for an Aboriginal. there is heaps of them.

  • I’ll mail you an abacus. πŸ˜‰

  • bassbait
  • Amontillado

    Get ready for the new dance sensation sweeping the nation, the ‘Juicy Wiggle!’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2Zy8rqU-wY

  • tOmy`

    Wow, that actually does sound unexpectedly terrible.

  • Amontillado

    What…what am I looking? Is that tumor? Did you see a doctor about this?

  • bassbait

    I’m just wondering what Rocky’s doing back there.

  • Amontillado

    YOLO tOmy, YOLO

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • tOmy`

    This was a bit puzzling – the extended cut I saw of the Bo5A was totally gore free and in one segment (dwarves riding on the icy river on yet another sled) had ton of CG blood and gore.

    Was it cut out of the original one and then placed in the extended cut with original gore level?

  • Amontillado

    You could rewatch PreRec. Sometimes I’ve fallen asleep mwhen Jack and Rich are mid conversation.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Sorry Australian. we didnt and dont get access to a lot of US cable… cough torrent cough.

  • Amontillado
  • tOmy`

    This is how YOLO looks:

    https://youtu.be/sJaGAhniULU?t=34s

  • Joe Syxpac

    Tarzan?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Jane?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    v See comment below v

  • bassbait

    I grew up in Washington state, the “evergreen state”. One of the most beautiful places on earth –
    https://media.licdn.com/media/p/7/005/0b2/227/002de22.png

    there’s places with a lot less population in the area too. I’ve also lived in the desert of Utah –
    https://www.utahsbdc.org/sites/utahsbdc.org/files/dixie.jpg
    and good ol’ Huntington Beach, California –
    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d5/Surfer_at_Huntington_Beach_Pier.jpg
    not so much bragging as just admitting that I think that the geography of the world is really beautiful. The cities that people dumped on top of it? Not so much.
    Forests are my favorite. Fuck the desert, too hot.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Holding onto the towel.

  • Amontillado

    On contraire mon ami, this is how YOLO looks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2EsPD0T3AQ

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s too early to act crazy!

  • Joe Syxpac

    “Hi, Jack!”

    ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz……

  • bassbait

    I think this clip summarizes the feel of the show –
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf-xePlM-zg

  • bassbait

    I actually considered it, because it’s a quieter and less interesting show than BOTW. Whenever I put on BOTW I end up listening to an entire episode and being like “fuck, there goes another hour that I could have been sleeping”

  • Joe Syxpac

    I grew up in the most beautiful place in the States.

    Detroit.

    http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/d