Half in the Bag: Into the Storm and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

August 15, 20141,052 Comments

Mike and Jay are joined by a construction worker named “Rich” “Evans” to talk about Into the Storm, a found footage rip off of Twister, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a modern day rip off of your childhood heroes.


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Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • http://www.hiddencamstudios.co.uk Cameron T. Devlin

    FIRST BITCHES.

  • Alex

    Never thought you were fans of Cannibal Corpse.

  • Adam Cleverley

    THAT START!

  • Caio Cagliani

    So much money on your pocket right now, Cameron! Congratz

  • dollar store cashier wife

    aw yiss.I was starting to get the shakes.

  • constantinople999 .

    I love how you guys actually took a stand about the pretentious boring mess that is Boyhood.

  • Gene Parmesan

    All that obligatory Rich Evans is mending my soul.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Thank the Maker.

  • durhay

    You should all run. From tornadoes.

  • nedoralive

    The machine in twister was called dorothy, cause you know, wizard of oz and shit

  • FiachSidhe

    ..oh I get it.

  • Gordon Chapman-Fox

    Thank god you guys are back… I was getting withdrawl symptoms!

  • Daniel

    but its not pretentious or boring or a mess.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the rlm follower hivemind has already reached ultimate consensus on boyhood. be silent peasent!

  • FiachSidhe

    This has, without a doubt, the best intro I’ve seen for anything.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Amazing commentary on Into The Storm Rich-I never knew you had such knowledge about mise en scene.You really gave a proper anal-ysis there.

  • idkmansnake

    It kind of pisses me off when people shit on a very sincere movie just because “everyone” but them liked it. You clearly didnt like the movie in the last video, why didnt you leave it at that, i mean it was hardly a review, more of just a “this movie fucking sucked” but youre opinion is noted. Theres nothing wrong with disliking the movie i can totally understand it, but youre just being childish now.

  • HammerTime

    Watching Jay getting pissed off is my new favourite thing.

  • patrick h. lauke

    had a real-life “laugh out loud” moment at jay’s “THAT classic” line. good stuff…

  • froople

    RLM straight to the veins.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    ???

  • Adzl33t

    I appreciate Rich Evans mentioned something positive about the Nickelodeon Turtles cartoon, that Nick Cartoon is better than this movie and the pretty much overrated 80s cartoon.

    Though I sure Ninja Turtles is a worse movie than BoyHood by artistic merit alone, which is why Im would perfer a thrashing of the Ninja Turtles film, it’s the second worst film of the year for me next to Transformers

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    Ha! Finally some metal in HIB :). Fuckintastic intro.

  • Palpatine

    If you will not like Boyhood, then you will be destroyed!

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    Its stylistically designed to be that way.

  • Sully

    I don’t mind a darker tone with the TMNT. I just wish they hadn’t gone the Marvel route by sticking Shredder in that stupid mechanized armor.
    The Shredder from the original movie beating the shit out of the Ninja Turtles, wearing what was ultimately standard Samurai armor with some spikes tacked on, was far more intimidating as a villain.

    I’ll always prefer the original Eastman and Laird books over any other versions.

  • Gene Parmesan

    You guys think people gave you shit for your opinions of Boyhood, prepare for the backlash because of that horrific pizza, I MEAN CARDBOARD! Fuck Milwaukee and their shit pizza, and fuck you fucks for buying it. Now all you RLM apologists come out of the woodwork and tell me that its just pizza and they’re probably enjoying it, FUCK THAT BULLSHIT. You either like what I like or I’ll flip shit in your comments section.

  • Palpatine

    Hillary looks like she’s going to unleash her Sith powers. Oops, I shouldn’t have said that.

  • bob

    Ah sh*t, gotta wait a week to see this on youtube, I thought once they had patreon money, they’d get away from blip, gotta get paid I guess.

  • Robert Fitl

    I got a question: How many of those Lightning Fast VCR repair uniforms do you have and how often do you have to wash them?

  • Palpatine

    We can’t undo it. But can diminish the effects of it.

  • Gene Parmesan

    And there’s that intimidating Ninja Turtle all the way on the left. You always know how to tie everything together Percy.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    “Wash them”?

  • Gene Parmesan

    I thought the point of this whole thing was to be funny?

  • Gene Parmesan

    I was hoping Rich would use his knowledge of the Chicago accent to mention the pizzer.

  • Belly3D

    That is correct, they are entitled to dislike the film and they even stated why, then to be attacked by blind sheeple simply because RLM didn’t think Boyhood was the best movie ever, like the other “critics”.
    Anyone who disliked the “masterpiece” that is Boyhood, received shitloads of flak, why exactly? Are people not allowed to dislike a movie these days, I mean what the fuck.

    I think that is what they were addressing in the intro.

  • Gene Parmesan

    You forgot the la in “medio en la bolsa”.

  • Daniel

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEY1yz20xVk why does no one ever bring this up about the TMNT?

  • Markham

    00:00 There! There’s the acknowledgement of MST3K for you NERDS!

    With that being said, who’s up to seeing Slash and Bloodsucker in the sequel?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    If you actually read the comments under the previous video you’d see the exact opposite.Most people(who probably haven’t even seen the film)joyously joined in on shitting on the film.

    Also using the word ‘sheeple’ unironically makes you a horrible person.

  • Belly3D

    Fair enough, but I was referencing the general response from negative reviews of the movie across the web, mostly with people launching personal attacks against the reviewers, simply because they didn’t think the movie was perfect or a masterpiece.

    This is just what I observed, anyway.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Megan Fox looks like an average brain-dead pornstar.She has about the same acting skills too.She called M.Bay a “socially retarded Hitler” and yet she gets the main role in his newly produced film.I suppose it’s a form of punishment-being a lead in such a film.

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    She looks like a twelve year old’s Wonder Woman fever dream, 2/10 would bang anyway. What an awful actress though, she was okay in that horror movie about women getting their periods, but not great.

  • RinoStarr

    Strangely only one has killed a guy….so far.

  • Palpatine

    So why was she in this again? Oh yeah, BEWBS! That’s why.

  • Gene Parmesan

    It’s good that she clarified that he’s socially retarded, because the first thing people think when they hear Hitler is sociable.

  • Ben

    Believe Mike, believe!

  • Gene Parmesan

    This is one of those cases where I’ll never know if I agree or disagree, cause there’s no fucking way I’m ever walking in to see a movie called “The Mutant Ninja Turtles”.

  • Palpatine

    And here’s Family Guy to help repeatedly remind you of that:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hnN5oF-WUc

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    Gracias for correcting me, I suck at acronyms if that´s even possible. Are you spanish or something? :)

  • http://about.me/hexeno Hexeno

    Can’t wait for Mutant Ninja Hack Frauds.

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    Hillary you fraud, you got that pantsuit at The Stately Harpy discount clothing store, you cheapskate. I know because I sold it to you.

  • Palpatine

    I’m just happy they did a full review on, instead of a fake review like they did with *insert random badly reviewed movie here*.

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    Rich wishes they could review TMNT every week, om nom nom.

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    She´s not even that hot. I see hotter woman when I go to the supermarket.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TwiIight0ne Muscle Hedonist

    Also, that other hack fraud died.

  • Gene Parmesan

    I was hoping for one of those “pick apart one movie we hate for the entire episode” deals. They haven’t had one of those in a while.

  • Gene Parmesan

    Nah, just figured it’s be funnier to correct you in Spanish.

  • Mr.Vomica

    Now you know what Bill thinks before he opens his mouth. Such is her power.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Yes, that was a clever way to expense Richevans’s lunch.

  • Mr.Vomica

    Her surname in the books is Gale.

    The punniness has blown me away.

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    RLM is censoring images of the Maker on their site!

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Yes, I noticed that. It won’t let me say FU to Jorge.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Wow, what a disappointment. Mike can’t remember the sensors device in Twister is called “Dorothy”, because of The Wizard of Oz. They even painted Judy Garland in the container.

    /unsubscribed

  • FlixtheCat

    Oh I get it. Boyhood is critically acclaimed, hence the vitriol, and TMNT is critically lambasted, but Mike really liked it. Be more transparent, gentlemen. Another unfortunately lackluster HiTB. At this point admittedly the only reason why keep watching Half in the Bag is for Rich Evans appearances.

    That kid is going places!

  • Kaingerc

    see kids, breathing in toxic chemicals usually doesn’t give you superpowers.
    http://www.esunshine.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/moreuno.gif

  • kk218

    was the backlash about boyhood review really that big for you guys to make that opening? I remember only like 2 comments about it

  • Sebastian Von Fappywank

    I love how they address the Boyhood thing. Brilliant.

  • Livio

    Mike, nooooo! How can you give it a pass? I’m utterly disappointed… I was expecting a way harsher critique on TMNT. And no mention of how awful Megan Fox was or the awkward presence of Whoopi Goldberg? And as for the obligatory Dark Knight element… The scene at the docks was right out of the one from Batman Begins.

  • Alex

    “Linklater makes Truffaut look like a Truefool.”
    -“FUCK Yeah!!!”

  • Tabasco Jones

    Why am I excited about watching a review of 2 movies I will never see?

  • Sebastian Von Fappywank

    God, look at that slut showing off his knees again. Damn whore.

  • omitted

    I’m sure that was just an appetizer

  • Sebastian Von Fappywank

    Because they both suck balls.

  • omitted

    and you loved every second of it!

  • omitted

    Yeah, we like ‘em boys dirrrty!

  • Juular

    The Maker?

  • Sebastian Von Fappywank

    God, I love Rich.

  • omitted

    Jay, I’m glad that a megatornado didn’t snatch you up on your graduation day… but you’d better dash to the nearest gazebo and hunker down real good under that roof because I’m coming to get you!

  • Mike Roberts

    Ever hear the story ‘The Emperor Has No Clothes’? Well Jay and Mike just did that to ‘Boyhood’ and I think people are too embarrassed to agree with them.

  • Leo Silva

    This is funniest one I’ve seen in the year!

  • Leo Silva

    5:16 LOL.

  • Captain Turbo

    They forgot to mention that Into The Storm is totally fake because the tornado didn’t contain a school of sharks…

  • Captain Turbo

    Stop talking about my imaginary wife like that.

  • JackMarco

    thumbs down unsubscribed

  • ogawaburukku

    The TMNT review had an unexpected outcome! I’m surprised Mike liked it. I haven’t seen it, but I was (and still am… manchild and all… ladychild, maybe?) a huuuge fan of the first movie, which to me is never going to be beaten because they handled the material as best as you can, I think. I liked the costumes, too. I had a sense of “wow, how did those dudes in costumes do that??” that a CG image can’t really give me. But when I saw the trailer I lost all interest in the new TMNT movie. Sounds like Jay was also a turtles fan as a kid. I think this may have been the first time he really talked over Mike to make it clear he did not like the movie! I think sometimes he surrenders a little, but it was nice to see him and Rich put their foot down and say “No, this movie sucked”. The biggest shock for me was that nobody mentioned how completely disturbing the faces for the new CG turtles are.

  • Captain Turbo

    You’re being childish!

  • Captain Turbo

    I can sense your anger.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    at this pace he’ll be filling a restraining order for you.

  • Captain Turbo

    You mean it’s not pretentious “nor” boring “nor” a mess.

  • Palpatine

    Well the last time they did that was the Man of Steel review, which lead to everyone in the comments arguing with one another, acting like Mike, Jay, and Rich trashing that movie was a big fucking deal.

  • Dr. Blake Downs

    Barbara Bush better watch out where she swings that jedi weapon around palpy, err I mean Hillary.

  • Palpatine

    Hey, that’s my quote, not yours!

  • flint

    Jays tits keep getting bigger. Or is it Mike? I can’t even remember their names.

  • Alex

    My favorite Half In the Bag opener until next January ;)

  • Jeff Who Lives At Home

    Did they cut the part in the open when Mike admits he’s never seen a Francois Truffaut movie?

  • rizla

    rich just looks horribly depressed.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You’re referring to Jessi, the one who’s always in these reviews.

  • http://filmrunner.wordpress.com/ Film Runner

    Most drug testing is done on rats, as they are actually quite similar to humans biologically and primates are ridiculously expensive. For a lot of chemical testing you can just use fruit flies.

  • Jeff Who Lives At Home

    But it isn’t a general response. Critics only get that blowback when they dare speak ill of comic books movies, sci-fi, and other such films with a massive built in fanbase that feels some sort of ownership of a movie.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Wasn’t The Foot supposed to be a reference to Daredevil’s ninja clan The Hand?

  • sparkiller

    I wonder if your feelings on this matter are clear…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    what? comic book movies aren’t masterpieces? you better don’t leave your home Jeff otherwise i’ll slit ur throat

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you mean the flak they received which btw was non existent?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Well, of course he does. Did you miss that part where he says he just watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

  • Sully

    I always thought it was just a generic name for Foot Soldiers, but it’s possible it was in tribute to DD.

  • Sully

    What “BEWBS”?

  • Gene Parmesan

    And it was one of the funniest videos they’ve done.

  • Palpatine

    See what you did Michael Bay. You made Rich Evans not laugh! And I thought I did plenty of evil things.

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?
  • Kenshiroh

    Yes. Also Daredevil is the man that gets hit in the head with the ooze canister before it falls down the sewer. And Splinter is a reference to Daredevil’s sensei, Stick.

  • lucusfarts

    its like stanzes, so they rhyme, its gonna be great

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    St. Louis pizza is better than Milwaukee pizza. Imo’s all the way.

  • lucusfarts

    What I was hoping was that they would mention each of the other critics that had reviewed these films in order from a list while rich eats pizza, for ten whole minutes mentioning what each critic had said.

  • Palpatine

    I’d just like to see a video of Rich Evans eating a whole pizza. That would be so freaking awesome!

  • Sully

    I still think the filmmakers should’ve taken a cue from this artist, instead of the weird goon-faced behemoths they settled on for the movie.

  • Square Peg

    The original comics were a giant satire of the direction comics were
    taking in general and Frank Miller’s run on Daredevil in particular.
    Ninjas were everywhere, every book was about a new edgy team of teenager
    superheros, everyone was a mutant, and dark & gritty was the order
    of the day. So Eastman and Laird combined it into an inherently
    ridiculous mishmash farce.

    Then neckbeards took it seriously and toy companies made it Alphageti Shapes for babies and satire died forever.

  • http://rocketboy1313.blogspot.com/ Rocketboy1313

    Wouldn’t the toxic gas kill the bugs? So the bodies would just be lying there dissolving.

  • Mikkel Rasmussen

    Are u actually disappointed that Mike doesn’t agree with you?…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wait, new Half in the Bag?! NEW HALF IN THE BAG?! THEY UPLOADED CONTENT?!?!?! :D I’m so happy!!

    http://i.minus.com/iAvd8MhYenmfI.gif

  • Thomas Goresen

    Umm sorry, but didn’t MST3K already do these movies? It seems weird that you didn’t mention MST3K every 5 minutes. There’s no way this is a coincidence because everyone has seen MST3K. Ever. Keep it up you hacks.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yeah, but can MST3K translate the back of the SOS box to reveal that Samurai Cop is still alive?

    Didn’t think so. Now SCRAM!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Perhaps read some comments on their last review where people disagree with them.

  • Muthsarah

    Thank you, Jay. It astonishes and depresses me how few people acknowledge how $#!+ that second movie is.

  • Thomas Goresen

    Late Breaking News: Mike has been replaced by this dude. We’re never getting another Plinkett again so shut your filthy mouths and love BOTW already.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Rest in Peace you skeet prints.

  • Conquerbeard

    That opening. Fuck my life. <3

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Well, I successfully predicted it.

    If anyone wants to know some lottery numbers while I’m at it just let me know.

  • Dan Hibiki

    But we are getting a Buddy review!

  • Mojo

    super tornado’s combining to make a mega super tornado? did the tornado grow gold hair too?

  • Livio

    No, I’m disappointed that they didn’t come down harder on the film. The film doesn’t deserve as much hate as a Transformers film but it still deserves a good rant.

  • Memoman

    Meh…

  • Thomas Goresen

    No, but they did figure out that the ST: Nemesis cymbals are actually a semi-transparent metal alloy that reverberates sound much better than traditional cymbals. You’ll never catch me!
    *morphs into green mist and slithers down Rich Evan’s pants*

  • Shane Hernandez

    Goddammit how many times have you guys died? Plot holes

  • Palpatine

    You have the power to see the future, which means you know the Force like me. Become my apprentice, learn to use the the Dark Side of the Force.

  • Memoman

    Wait! Maybe it was a thing within a thing when making a forgettable, no-one-cares episode about a couple forgettable, no-one-cares movies?

    That was what the “Rich” “Evans” character symbolized: Social apathy and consumerist over-exploitation of intellectual properties decaying into human alienation from art. And that’s why Mike was on the screen’s left as the devil’s advocate, either depressed, sleep deprived and/or coming from a binge on crack, with Jay sitting on the right as the voice of consciousness. And the green gas symbolizes the toxic climate of society permeating and corrupting the sweet innocence represented by “Rich” “Evans” ‘ rosy, pizza-filled cheeks. And the pizza represents the garbage fed to us by the market economy to keep us numb and mum to the moral and ethical debates attempting to rescue us from the snowball effect of this greed propelled movie making rape epidemic.

    Genius!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Scott Thompson, eh?
    Jay: “Is it, it is safe back here?”
    ST: “It wouldn’t have been an hour ago for a young man like you but you’re perfectly safe with me.”

    Mike: “Are you into older gay men?”
    Jay: “Uh, I am not, but I still appreciate the attention.”
    Mike: “Okay. Would you let that kid in your hall?”

    Half in the Bag Episode 3 at 18:16

    http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag/episode-3/

  • Palpatine

    That is one clever analsis!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I’m probably going to start typing analsis without even realizing it’s wrong from here on out.

  • Thomas Goresen

    Scott Thompson, better known as Carrot Top? That explains a lot.

  • bretweir

    I’m liking this new story… keep it up boys!
    Okay now I have to go shave my balls.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Into the Sharknado?

  • Palpatine

    Mike’s the fat one, Jay’s the hunky one, and Rich Evans is the one with the amazing laugh.

  • Alex Lee

    I was wrong, so wrong. They did review it, and if given the choice, I would have watched Into the Storm as a comedy.

  • Joe Syxpac

    The first dozen times I saw the trailer for Into the Storm I honestly thought it was a commercial for a SyFy channel storm movie marathon. Y’know… Atomic Twister, Sharknado, etc. The effects just look like shit.

    Finally I noticed that it had a rating and I realized it was a “real” movie.

  • omitted

    Tru-dat!

  • Joe Syxpac

    That’s a New York style pizzer, I’m surprised he even ate it.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 seems to be one of those cases where people were expecting an abominable disaster, but instead the movie was merely bad, so everyone gives it a pass.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    by everyone you mean Mike being the only one?

  • Alex Lee

    I’m pretty sure being a pornstar was how she got this role in the first place. You can tell that she literally came crawling back to Michael Bay for work.

  • Joe Syxpac

    The fact that it was merely bad means everyone has to downplay Bay’s involvement.

    The worst part is that we can’t use it as yet another foil against him.

  • omitted

    Not before I remove his skeleton!

  • omitted

    My dick had the same reaction

  • fskn

    Hmmm… Pizza.

  • omitted

    Is there any hope for me and Jay?

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    FU, Jorge.

  • Mufro

    Fuck, got a MacBook and now it won’t play these Blip videos. Just get a black screen. Any Apple frauds able to help me please?

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    Its gonna be great.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    I recommend prayer–to Steve Jobs.

    Too soon?

  • Guest

    I genuinely need help with this issue…

  • ohseanofnoise

    If Mike and Jay COULD get superpowers, what superpowers do you think they’d have?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Well, DID YOU PRAY YET?!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Mike: “Are you into older gay men?”
    Jay: “Uh, I am not, but I still appreciate the attention.”

    There may be hope. Perhaps he’s into YOUNGER gay men?

  • Damian

    You guys should do a best of the worst with “Howard the Duck” “Stay Tuned” and “Mom and Dad Save the World.” It’ll be a Jeffery Jones BOTW

  • panzi

    Greenspill much.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    don’t forget to use gold pine resin

  • ohseanofnoise

    I would hope that Stay Tuned would win. RIP John Ritter! But, I bet they’d pass on that idea considering he is a convicted child pornographer or something.

  • Stupid Wizard

    PRAISE JESUS! SOMETHING NEW!

  • Damian

    That’s why I think they would do it. And that would be hilaaaarious

  • Jimazoid

    That was the best Care Boars intro so far.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Unlimited POWER!

  • omitted

    I probably am, but what makes you think that I’m younger than Jay? My juvenile gushing over him?

  • InPrivate

    “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a modern day rip off of your childhood heroes.”

    That’s really funny.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Mike would get super stroke voice powers. The ability to be completely mesmerizing with a dull, monotone voice.

    Jay would be super gay for Jay powers. The ability to make perfectly straight men masturbate to his beard.

  • Heinzy

    Mike laughs more and seems a lot happier. I don’t like it.

  • omitted

    So you’re saying that Jay being sexually irresistible to all living beings is NOT a superpower?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    They already HAVE powers: Hack Fraudery.

  • omitted

    And how would this be any different from the way things already are?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Blasphemy!

    Praise Evans!

  • Joe Syxpac

    The gas worked!

  • MikeFromCanmore

    Are you a Canadian Wizard ?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Praise him as he casually yet awkwardly flies into the sky.

  • omitted

    Praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Jay likes to eat him

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    We’re ALL wizards, all thirty two of us.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    damn it. I must have lost my powers. or they are broken. now give me the Winning numbers and i’ll help Fund Space Cop !

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Rich Evans is all cute and cuddly as a cop but he’s serious and intimidating as a construction worker.

  • omitted

    Now all we need is Rich dressed as a cowboy, an Indian, a soldier and in leather!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Hell, even my 4 minute design would have been better.

  • Palpatine

    He seems to be slightly less smiling in the picture on the right. The new TMNT movie must of had a lot of non-medy.

  • Eric Moreland

    Rich is a One Man Village People Tribute Band! You can’t stop the murder!

  • Walter Mitty

    It is the light of Buddha. It is the light of Rich Evans.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wait, analsis isn’t how you spell it? …

  • splimis

    Funny and informative as usual, and I learned that Jay is a giant mega super tornado survivor.

  • DickButtkiss

    God those thumbs are f-ing repugnant

  • Joe Syxpac

    You’re right. As Batman and Robin taught us, every superhero needs nipples.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Perhaps she’ll get the Christy Mack treatment, too.

    Too soon?

  • DickButtkiss

    Kids in the Hall ftw. A Canadian treasure.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Coming from his groin.

  • jaymanxyz2

    Post a video of “Rich” “Evans” eating pizza, please.

  • sciencemile

    Wait for it to come out on Youtube I guess? :<

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    SPOILERS!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    His loins shoot out talent.

  • Joe Syxpac

    And lesser gods.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    So does this mean another Hercules movie?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Mike hated you, ‘Jeff Who Lives At Home’.

  • boober

    so bitter you guys were wrong lmao

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’ve never seen Jay getting so into his acting before.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Half in the baaaag: get this crap of my desk.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Some people get pissy when others make fun of things they like, as if they’re ‘sacred’. I typically join in on the fun.

    Hell, as a Canadian, we’re typically the ones that make the best jokes against Canadians. We love lampooning ourselves. That could possibly be because we’re constantly faced with death during the harsh winter months and humour is out only weapon against the cold indifference on the universe … but hey, at least we’ve got pancakes! :D

  • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

    I was actually expecting the whole video to just be 30+ minutes of Mike and Jay talking about how much they loved Boyhood.

    Also, “Calgon, take me away?” MST3K DID IT FIRST YOU HACKS!!!11!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    It’s short for aspect ratio.

  • Brian Levine

    Wait a minute. Am I supposed to really believe that Mike and Jay don’t know that Helen Hunt’s magical machine was called Dorothy or even why it was called Dorothy?

    And what ever happened to Helen Hunt? I’m guessing she’s in Plinkett’s basement.

  • Robert Fitl

    Costumes get dirty, man… especially if you have only one.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Well… humor and cannibalism.

  • Palpatine

    Which Plinkett? Real Plinkett, or Fake Plinkett?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    A movie being ‘very sincere’ doesn’t protect it from criticism, nor does other people liking it protect them from other’s opinions.

    They didn’t like it. They brought it back up again this episode and I thought it was funny even if I may disagree with their opinion of the film.

    Also, it wasn’t “hardly a review”. They explained why they didn’t enjoy it. Are you going to make the same argument for all the positive reviews of ‘Boyhood’ that were actually ‘hardly reviews’, because I’m sure I could go find some right now that praises the film without reviewing it.

    I wouldn’t say they’re being childish, I say they’re being funny. Same type of humour as when they reviewed Prometheus and ‘Grown Ups 2′.

  • Kaingerc

    MACHO, MACHO MAN!
    RICH EVENS’ GOT TO BE A MACHO MAN!

  • Stardog Champion

    Real Plinkett silly (:

  • http://rocketboy1313.blogspot.com/ Rocketboy1313

    Blip uses Adobe software. There is no way to watch them on Mac products unless you install windows on them. It is one of the many reasons I don’t bother owning any Mac products.

  • TheVGamer

    I’m only now realizing how much Jay looks like Spike Jonze. The weight loss probably has something to do with that.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    So, you’re saying it’s not one of those singular things but some combination of two or all three of those things?

    Yikes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I think they weren’t so-much taking a stance as just giving their personal opinions and then joking about it in their next review [this one].

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    So SHE’S in Episode VII!!

    You read it here first, folks!

  • Josh Sand

    I can assure you Blip videos work on Mac—I’m on one now, and have been able to watch them for some time. Have you tried different browsers?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    My raging RLM boner has never died so quickly before.

    Thanks a fucking lot, Percy.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Shit, you mean turtles don’t have tits?

    I was wondering if I should put 2 or 6, but never contemplated putting none.

  • http://www.jasonrjohnston.com/ Jason R. Johnston

    Love’s a helluva drug.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TwiIight0ne Muscle Hedonist

    Godspeed, you magnificent son of a bitch.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    browers*

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That makes perfect sense since I’ve watched their videos on Blip using a Mac many times before.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Reeeeeeally surprised you didn’t say that about a different RLM member.

  • thehilblog

    This may be my new favorite Half in the Bag.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    I really enjoyed Rich Evans’ Ryan Gosling in Drive inspired performance during the first half of this review.

  • http://rocketboy1313.blogspot.com/ Rocketboy1313

    Guess I was wrong then. I just know I’ve never been able to watch blip stuff on an iPad.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Her new movie just came out.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ka6AxgOdGFQ

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    Cannot unsee.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    And being Rich Evans’ is a superpower.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    The best month. Obviously.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I had a dream last night that I was hanging out with Rich Evans and Jack as they played video games, then Jay, Mike, Jessi, and a bunch of other people came over. I think they started having a house party. It was a bit odd.

    Then I think Rich was suddenly younger and living with ‘dream parents’ [parents I made up in my dream]. They had a nice house but they were very extreme religious nuts. I was over there with him and they came home. Something went wrong, I guess, and they flipped shit. I think Rich and I had to hide and run away as his father chased us. Pretty sure he was crazy enough that he was trying to kill us.

    I forget how we got away [or if I even dream that we had gotten away]. The next thing I remember was Rich now lived somewhere else but was on his own. I think it may have been the same place where the house party was. I think he was sad he wasn’t living with his parents but glad he got away from them because they were crazy. His friends made sure to come by often and make sure he didn’t feel too alone in his new place.

    Then I woke up and a new Half in the Bag was uploaded. Anyone want to take a stab at what all this means?

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TwiIight0ne Muscle Hedonist

    I’d like to note that the original Ninja Turtles comics weren’t just a bit darker, they were “Frank Miller”-batshit crazy. “The turtles force Shredder to commit ritual suicide”-crazy.
    Anyway, that’s what Cracked told me. I got all my education from that website. http://www.cracked.com/article_18906_7-shockingly-dark-origins-lovable-childrens-characters.html

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    His character’s name was simply ‘Driver’.

    Very poetic. It rhymes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Hmm. I’m not Mac-literate enough to know what’s going on there. I’m personally not a big fan of Mac’s, but that’s mostly because of the company models and premium prices and not-so-much their actual hardware/software, which I admit is pretty reliable.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    God dammit Percy. I’m really glad I wasn’t drinking something when read that.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Gonna have to be more specific [give more details] about your problems if you want people to give you solutions [not that I can help but others on here might be able to].

    Also, Google might help.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Nope, I’ve read/seen several reviews that go “Eh, it wasn’t that bad.”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You may have blood in your stool.Consult Dr.Plinkett for info.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TwiIight0ne Muscle Hedonist

    There’s something inside him – it’s hard to explain.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    You betcha. The trailer seems evidence enough.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    -1, -0, 2, e, pi, and Graham’s Number.

    Bonus: 42

  • Hank_Henshaw

    How many Emmys did this one win for acting?

  • The Summer of George

    If you think Jay & Mike are shit-fitting over Boyhood now, just wait until it gets buried in best picture awards.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You’re excited about new Half in the Bag, not the movie reviews. It excites your vagoogoo.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Sorry, I don’t know nothin’ ’bout no Apples or Macintoshes or Lisas or iPods or iPads or any such things.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    You mean, Escape from L.A.? Yes, given how good Escape from New York is, it is astonishingly bad. It is as bad a sequel as Aliens and T2 and Empire are good sequels. It makes me glad there was never a Big Trouble in Little China 2.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Was Michael Bay behind that too? That fuck!

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Yeah, I mean, who doesn’t love turtle milk?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You mean it’s actually Chicagoans who say “ninjer”?

  • Josh Noble

    Dorothy, you hack frauds!!!!!1111!!!!!111 You know, Wizard of Oz? Check your facts!

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    I saw GOTG last night with some guys from work at a big AMC theater. The refreshment counter had hot dogs listed as “Appetizers.” Strange.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Is someone else a numberphile fan? *crosses fingers*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    In short: “Please don’t review movies if you don’t agree with my opinion about them.” Am I getting that right?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Embrace the stereotypes.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Since we established that you’re Scott Thompson, can you finish the gay troll shaving your sack story they…*takes off sunglasses*…omitted from the episode.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Hey, blame Cameron. He brought them up.

  • Palpatine

    She better not replace me as the ultimate Sith Lord. If she does, we will have a battle unlike anything the universe has ever seen!

  • Josh Noble

    I milked my turtle for 45 minutes before I came down from the shrooms. I have several pints for sale now.

  • Josh Noble

    Are you January Jones?

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Where’s your supermarket–on the Copacabana?

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Taco, you forgot to mention that Samurai Cop is a Marvel fanboi who hates on D.C.

  • Josh Noble

    Sweet Jesus, it’s The Coven!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Dat breaking windscreen effect…

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    “Costumes”?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Rich Evans running? How was this godly sight?

  • Josh Noble

    It would hardly be the first movie filmed in Plinkett’s basement.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Mitchell Taco Bell:January Jones::RLM:MST3K

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    Poor Mark, we will miss you.

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    It was more mushy than I expected, the movie, not the hot dog.

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    I think Canadians are only permitted to be digital effects artists, at least that’s what I’ve heard.

  • omitted

    But he is a real hero and a real human being

  • omitted

    Do I even have to say what I would rather like to see Jay get into?

  • omitted

    Oh, you mean Jay? He shouldn’t wear anything, ever

  • WrongWithYourFace

    …You? Or are you a top?

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    He swings both ways. As long as it’s with Jay.

  • Stardog Champion

    The way Rich Evan looked bored, that’s the look I put when on a date with a girl who mumbles about nothing.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Why are you talking to me?

  • Steve

    Did rich spray paint those boots?

  • omitted

    You took Jay’s c***k words right out of my mouth

  • Josh Noble

    I’m sorry. I’ll stare at my shoes for the remainder of my life.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    “Me, I love Rich”
    – God

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I dont eat
    I dont sleep
    I do nothing but think of Rich Evans.

  • Ogrot

    Eh… Fire is pretty overrated imo.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh… That’s my flirtatious look.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Was Rich Evans representing the average movie-goer during the first part with the cell phone and all?

  • bhlaab

    Look I’m not going to try to claim that I wasn’t blind drunk during TMNT (the blind part because I was wearing 3d glasses), but something they kind of glossed over in this review is that the turtles are only in like 30% of the fucking movie. Most of it is the crazy adventures of megan fox staring at things.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They did mention how they seemed to be kind of making Megan Fox into the main character.

    I’m just bothered how the turtles don’t look even remotely teenaged. Should have been called Tweenaged or Threenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles.

  • Meester Smeeth

    Is that Lori from The Walking Dead? Eeeeeeeeeeeeewwww.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Have to agree with Jay that this really looks like a Transformers movie. Both in use of colour, lighting and style of shooting. Except that the action make sense and everything doesn’t ‘splode. An I just loved that they used Megatron in it. Genious, he’s the key to all this.

    http://cdn.hitfix.com/photos/5606494/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtlesShredderheadlinecropLSParamount_article_story_large.jpg

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    I live in a shitty neighbourhood. But it’s summer, and pants get so short you don´t have to imagine anything at all.
    Still, she’s fuckable.

  • Mark Robinson

    the plot of Into the Storm is Fuck You Its August We Ran Out of Blockbusters

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I don’t know. They seemed to get a lot of flak for not liking the movie. Not Pre-Rec levels of flak, more of a disappointment level of flak.

  • Ogrot

    Are they gonna drag out this review until Rich Evans finishes the pizza?

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    The Great and Powerful Rich Evans must have granted me the gift of foresight.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass
  • Ogrot

    Finally an ending the fans deserve. Thanks a lot you hacks!

  • Stardog Champion

    creepy sex look (:

  • The Narrator

    Now this is a Boyhood review I can get behind. I’ve already begun burning all my DVDs, for they can never reach the heights of Boyhood.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    eh.There where very few people who disagreed and most of them was rather polite about it as well.A rather surprising sight as far as internet comments go.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That was good, right?

  • Meester Smeeth

    You didn’t tell ‘em about ma pubes, didja?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And now Mike gets flak for liking TMNT. You can never get it right…

  • Some Shithead

    Rich Evans is the best
    10/10

  • Stardog Champion

    Welp so much for the gas giving them “powers”.

  • The Narrator

    The 400 Blows? More like The 400 This Movie Blows Because it Sucks So Much! And don’t Shoot the Piano Player, shoot me, because I’m watching a Truffaut movie and I want to die because it’s so bad!

  • Wild in Wisconsin

    Boyhood is such a transcendentally amazing work of art that it made Jay’s acting talent skyrocket just by having a proximity to the glowing aura of flawless perfection that it radiates from every angel kissed frame.

  • Jason Ross

    If Michael Brown were white, a ph reading of 3 would instead make a lake quite basic, whereas a ph of 7 would designate that same body of water as an acid solution.

  • Jason Ross

    Apologies, wrong forum.

  • Stardog Champion

    Imo I think it’s good that Mike and Jay didn’t give TMNT a harsh critique because what’s the point? I think most us already knew this film is nothing more then dumb popcorn mindless nothing piece of crap.

  • Max Wylde

    I’m glad you guys went out to watch these films. I’m determined not to give Michael Bay any more money. Since The Island, I’ve been rather good about not watching another Michael Bay film. I did see the first Transformers film, but I didn’t pay for it; I was dragged to it and someone else ponied up the cash.

  • Sean Gall

    Fuck Boyhood.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Have to agree that they didn’t look like teeangers but I don’t know if they ever had. Closest resemblence I guess is heavyweightboxer meats gangsterbandanalatinos sprinkled with Vin Diesel and they even used that famous James Earl Jones reptile skin.

    http://postmediaedmonton.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/boxing_.jpg

    http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.960847.1319523337!/img/httpImage/alg-latin-kings-barricade-jpg.jpg

    http://www.starwarped.net/files/other-roles/James-Earl-Jones-voice-of-Darth-Vader/Conan-The-Barbarian-Thulsa-Doom-11.jpg

  • Meester Smeeth

    Here I am taking score of who’s eaten how many slices of pizza, and all of a sudden about 4 slices disappear. Now I don’t know who’s had what. All I know is Rich had at least 2, possibly 4, and Jay had at least 1, possibly 2. I have no idea how many Mike had. Maybe he didn’t have any at all. I wont be able to sleep tonight.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    I’ve smashed every screen I’ve found that has not screened Boyhood.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    No, of course not………………

  • Max Wylde

    When are you guys going to get off your lazy asses and bring us the next Plinkett Review?

  • phillipkslick

    I would disagree with one of their opinions, but didn’t see the movie because I’m 30 and lost interest in the Ninja Turtles by the time Secret of the Ooze came out.

  • Jason Ross

    http://bayifier.com/

    the Michael Bayifier site

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    It’s a shame Jay didn’t tell his graduation tornado story to the writers, they could have added the tagline “based on actual events.”

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Oh, he’s pure energy. He only feeds on Star Trek. There, you can go to sleep.

    http://37.media.tumblr.com/0ec9a7764602924501b72446c1dfe345/tumblr_n9n9f0tYhV1rjgvl7o1_400.gif

  • Mike Jakermen

    As far as not giving Micheal Bay any more money. I don’t think ive seen a Micheal Bay movie since “The Rock”.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Rich Evans eating a slice of pizza is the sexiest thing since Rich Evans falling down and screaming in pain

  • bob665@aol.com

    I haven’t seen Boyhood. My assumption has been since all I hear is how the shot
    eight of the actual movie it was worth my time. However after seeing such a
    ringing endorsement I’m rushing out right now to see it. Speaking of movies I
    have seen from what I understand Into the Storm has essentially the same plot
    as Sharknado 2 without the sharks. So… So an asylum film was ripped off? Isn’t
    that a sign of the apocalypse?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Poor, poor April what have they done to you. 80’s April was my childhood love….. now all gone.

    http://turntherightcorner.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-2014-teaser-trailer-still-fainting.jpg?w=1024

  • Palpatine

    Rich Evans is love. Rich Evans is life.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Hopefully it’ll work.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Well The Rock is a movie, everything else he’s done is so fucking terrible you can’t call it that.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Tone is a problem with the film but the main problem is the villains. Shredder is lame, his plan is lame, even his fucking henchmen are lame. They’re just generic terrorist with guns. They don’t really have anything unique to them. That just brought the film down for me. Weakest villains since George Lucas

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Don’t forget the hamburger he got a hold of. Oh wait that was Plinkett.

    http://cdn.yourepeat.com/media/gif/000/010/432/7a4bc818c8bcd1462bf6b883fe255cc2.gif

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    He runs a wee bit at the in the Spacecop trailer. The footwork made my mouth water.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Only a God can pull that off.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Rich Evans is a sex god and he did it

  • Stupid Wizard

    I have torched down every theater that is not showing Boyhood

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Oh, no wait. Here is some lost footage. Causes problems with my Star Trek theory. Now I can’t sleep. http://38.media.tumblr.com/c980d4b093130c6c748b6e26d459d7dd/tumblr_mksguuFxbc1rezi70o2_250.gif

  • DanceOfBirther

    That makes sense since I just watched this episode on my iPhone.

  • JimTreacher

    Rich Evans’ finest performance. I forgot I was watching an actor. Or, for that matter, a human being.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Try installing the fraudulent software that is Flash.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Just like The Amazing Spider-Man Half in The Bag is ripping off the classic film Zaat

  • Meester Smeeth
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Can be the Safaribrowser. Try using firefox or chrome. Both carry addons for blip.tv, or used to.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    They have an online help forum. See if you can find anything useful there. http://support.blip.tv/entries/73360-Video-playback-does-not-begin-after-pressing-play

  • castlemonster

    I myself am a Fan-man Boychild.

    Lol at Mike’s tortured defense of TMNT…

  • Mike Jakermen

    Somebody posted that Bayifier Link and i couldn’t help myself.

    http://i62.tinypic.com/2ptqw0h.jpg

  • castlemonster

    Their Toxic superpower will be superhuman rigor mortis.

  • DanceOfBirther

    No, that’s just a generic medium crust pizzer. Real New York style pizzer falls apart while soaking your hand in grease. Then, when you fork up the mess, John Stewart pop out from under the table and berates you for using a fork.

  • Gary V

    Look guys, if you’re not going to drink that Karkov vodka, I will.

  • Stupid Wizard

    That is quite an awkward photo shop there

  • DanceOfBirther

    And back bacon.

  • Evil Octopus

    OOO Oooo GOd oooo jesus christ o holy shit what the fuck is this ooo oooo could you help me oooo please help me god

  • Stupid Wizard

    Cancer: The Comment

  • Painted Pagliacci Of Perfidy

    Another masterpiece of flawlessness. Thanks guys.

  • Evil Octopus

    She is at least only mildly brain-dead pornstar.

  • Painted Pagliacci Of Perfidy

    I seriously hate Jingle Bells now. I start hitting the side of my head like Rain Man.

  • Evil Octopus

    would do 8 times

  • Stardog Champion

    Yuck! Disgusting!

  • Ugh

    What a shame about TMNT… with such beloved wacky characters and advances in CGI… it could’ve been great. A freakin romp!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Well it’s not another Jaden Smith movie.

  • Stupid Wizard

    How can movies be real if our eyes aren’t real?

  • Stupid Wizard

    Go away, cancer.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Vaginza.

  • ¡David Oakes! 

    Having a found footage movie where you have shots that don’t make any sense as to why you would have a camera; reminded me of the hospital scene in Chronicle – where Dane DeHaan is in a bed and for no reason – his camera is set up on a tripod.

    And I said ITS looked like an Asylum movie when I saw the trailer.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s the only way they multiply.

  • Stupid Wizard

    The Shadman drawing of her looks more human

  • Jason Ross

    where’s the Jay gif?

  • Jason Ross

    That’s her Oooo-val face?

  • Stupid Wizard

    Goddamn, it sounds like goddamn Frank Miller wrote the goddamn ending part of this goddamn episode. Speaking goddamn Frank Miller the goddamn sequel to goddamn Sin City is coming out next goddamn week. I’ll go goddamn see it because of goddamn Eva Green’s goddamn boobs.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    They could have combined his tornado story with mine, where part of our school roof ripped off and we still had to go to school the next day.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    But the hot dogs, Stupid. The HOT DOGS.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I think we should all mail in pizza from our home town for Rich Evans to sample.

    Doesn’t matter if it took 3 weeks to get there because the pizza was delivered from Mongolia; he has to at least try it and determine the Best of the Worst pizza in the world.

    If he must slather it with butter for extra flavor, that’s acceptable.

  • http://www.youtube.com/ac1dchr15t ac1d

    Where’s the gif of Rich staring into the camera

  • stefan

    Is that Todd Vanderdouche guy who commented on the last HitB the real Todd from the AVclub?

  • Lenin

    Haha, the Boyhood thing reminds me of whenever a Pixar/Disney movie comes out. As someone who adores and loves Animation, Pixar/Disney films are always just so formulaic and generic, it always gets me they get like 99% ratings on Rotten Tomatoes while totally masterpiece works of animation get zero recognition at all (Ernest and Celestine for example)

  • Mr.Fister

    right in the pussy

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Someone said it earlier and funnier than you did. I’m gonna go cry in my pizza now.

  • Palpatine

    That’s his evil twin brother, Barry S. Plinkett.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I hope not and I doubt it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He transcends time. In fact he’s from the future … of spaaaaaaaa-

    *Stupid Wizard grabs my microphone.*

    “FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Dude, noooo!!

    I was saving that load … :( Now I have to wash my pants.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “My assumption has been since all I hear is how the shot eight of the actual movie it was worth my time.”

    Brain, meet fork.

  • Captain Turbo

    Reminds me of the time I ate a whole can of prunes and some under-cooked chicken.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I think it was supposed to be Analsys until Arnold Schwarzenegger copyrighted it for his Genesys movie.

  • Captain Turbo

    I have Boyhood running in a continuous loop inside my brain.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’ve fucked every moose.

    What was that about Boyhood?

  • Captain Turbo

    What kind of name is Vanderdouche? Belgian?

  • Captain Turbo

    Eva Green’s boobs should make a cameo in every movie ever made ever.

  • Captain Turbo

    If you’re an evil octopus, why don’t you have a goatee? Yeah, I just blew your mind.

  • onenil

    Actually, the line in MST3K was “Calgon, blow me away.”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Trans-Shredders.

    Makes sense, too, because he’s wearing a dress n’ all.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He kept saying he had news updates to deliver to the table discussion, whatever that means.

  • Enil Öhlund

    Hopefully Mike and Jay remain dead so we can get a new Plinkett review

  • CorbeauNoir

    I very nearly snorted chili up my nose at the KALGAN, TAKE ME AWAY opening stinger. At least SOMEone at RLM watched that episode

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    So that’s where his avatar is from?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “I’m giving you a night call to tell you how I feel.”
    “Hello, Lightning Fast VCR Repair.”

  • DanceOfBirther

    There was a tornado on my last day of seventh grade. Instead of having a celebration we had a choice of sporting activities. I played nine holes of golf with people I hate; got back to school to be picked up only for a tornado to come along and send my hayfever into overdrive. Then I had to wait out the storm with Palpatine eyes. This was the longest hour of my life until it was surpassed by the first hour of “Brick”.

    Yeah, I accidentally posted this in the previous episode discussion. Too many phone calls at once while I was posting.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Creepy Sex Looks.

  • http://www.plasticpals.com/ Robotbling

    There is no such thing as right or wrong when it comes to personal taste. Thank the flying spaghetti monster majority rule doesn’t apply to what movies are considered good.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Odd. Johnny Depp transcended so much that he basically became robo-Jesus yet his acting was stiff and awkward. The glowing aura around him probably caused cancer [but don't worry, he'll cure you of that if you share minds with him].

    http://abnormalanabaptist.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/transcendence.jpg

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    OW, MY GROIN!

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    You need to get out more?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s stylistically designed to be that way.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Also, try oxygenating your wombspacebar.

  • cathax

    Dutch. Dare you insult the Most Noble House van der Douche?

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Was he married to Elle Driver from Kill Bill?

  • sonicjrjr14 .

    I get the feeling you haven’t even seen it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Dat is NAWT kewl, Ahnuld!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You just pulled a Taco Nash.

    Wait …

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    “Milking your turtle”–is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  • Guest

    I love Boyhood. It’s my favorite film of the year so far, but I could never hate you guys for disliking it. I hated Wolf of Wall Street and Dark Knight Rises and you guys loved those. At the end of the day can’t we all just enjoy what we want to without being pressured?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Oui oui! I’m glad they want back and talked more about Graham’s number again. Their first video [I forget when they posted it] left me a bit mind blown and confused.

  • Stupid Wizard
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yeah, okay, sure. Why not? I have no reason not to trust you, right?

    Brb, I gotta go imply that I killed younglings and then later have Obi Wan confirm it via security cam footage … wait. We have security cameras? Since when? I feel that would save a lot of people a lot of hassle. We have to make this technology more widespread and not just have it in one scene.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I think The Simpsons may have actually made that reference first.

  • Stupid Wizard

    At least he doesn’t look like Danny DeVito

  • Havel Rock

    It’s moron* sweetheart

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    Blatant continuity error, unsubscribe.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “I have several pints for sale now.”

    To go along with @percygryce2:disqus, I hear semen sells for a pretty decent amount.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Oh Mike you’ll eat anything.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAoCr532CJY

  • Stupid Wizard
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You’re right, it was only a classroom of sharks, not a full school.

    Fucking bait-and-switch, man.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Eyecandy! Rugged constructionworker eyecandy!

  • Stupid Wizard
  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    The chemical company down the way can’t dump its toxic waste into the sea. What? The Sea of Milwaukee?

  • Josh Noble

    From the day I discovered self-pleasure until now, I could gone on the black market with the white stuff and made a fortune.

  • Josh Noble

    The kids these days? I’ll ask the ones in the back of my windowless van.




    They say I should let them go. No real answer.

  • Josh Noble

    Lake Michigan, but who would notice? It would probably clean it up a bit.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’ll remember that next time I try to be subtle on the internet.

    Note To Self: Don’t purposefully misspell only one word because it’s easy for it to look like a natural spelling mistake instead of a feigned one, even if you find it humorous that you’re ironically calling someone a ‘fucking moron’ while misspelling something. You’ll also avoid being called a sweetheart by someone who doesn’t get the joke, which is always a bonus.

    How’s DEM apples, moran?

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    “To go along with Percy Gryce”–hey, why didya have to drag me into your semen?

    Oh, that didn’t come out right. That didn’t come out right at all.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    If it didn’t come out right, are you implying that it came out left?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    SPOILEEEERRS!

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    I’ve been trying to get this thing to play for an hour and 45 minutes. Fuck Blip.

  • Havel Rock

    It’s spelled THEM* apples sir.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Oh, he watched at least some French New Wave in film school. He just thought that in general they weren’t quite up to the standard set by TNG.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Once Boss Nass’s comment gets approved: when omitted sees his GIF he’ll need new carpeting.

    Or the comment may be deleted, even though it’s just Jay eating Chunky’s Chicken.

  • Josh Noble

    The next hooker isn’t dead in his basement yet. After that incident with Nadine, he’s being very thorough with his … reviews.

  • Matt Bryson

    Where is the hypersexualized and objectified female co-star, the American flag flapping in the wind, or helicopters in front of a setting sun?! Pssshhh

  • Jeff

    “Is this the end for Half in the Bag?”

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    I just realized that you can’t spell Plinkett’s basement without semen.

    basement.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    They’re inside Azkaban.

    Along with the other wizardly prisoners.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Damn!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Milwauksea*

    That pun is painful. TamewormBike, take the reigns!

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Have you tried not using Internet Explorer?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Thank goodness for bold.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He did, but it takes about that long for that program to close after hitting the ‘x’.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Well, that just goes without saying.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I laughed quiet hard to that and went to ‘like’ it, but realized I had already liked it before and put it into one of my playlists.

    I don’t even remember seeing this before.

    I think I’m coming down with Mike Stoklasa [similar to Alzheimer's except only to do with films and it happen far earlier].

  • DanceOfBirther

    Lol, just as I was watching some old episodes of Batman!

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    More importantly why do you still live at home you fraud?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    “Are you talking to me?”
    “What?”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Percy Gryce, this is your 2000th comment:

    “”To go along with Percy Gryce”–hey, why didya have to drag me into your semen?

    Oh, that didn’t come out right. That didn’t come out right at all.”

    Congratulations. You’re now on the year Spider-Man and Attack of the Clones were released.

    http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-into-the-storm-and-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles/#comment-1545016864

  • Domo_Konnichiwa
  • Stupid Wizard

    *Rich Evan’s steps in and starts using a Klingon phaser*

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    Nash, man, everybody knew what you meant, and everybody knew the other comment was retarded. When someone is making themselves look dumb, no need to interfere.

    Use the force, think.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Don’t forget Minority Report, Two Towers, Goldmember, Scooby-Doo, Rules of Attraction, Chamber of Secrets, Secretary, One Hour Photo, Super Troopers and Star Trek: Nemesis. Actually, some of those should be forgotten.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    “Come with me if you want to live.”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Okay, so I just went back and re-watched the opening to this episode and I’m dying from laughter. From 1:53 until 2:06 kills me.

    Jay is sitting in his chair spazzing like a constipated autistic kid [how he kicks the TV is golden], Rich Evans shortly after starts trying to suppress a smile as he moseys on past Jay and knocks over the TV stands [then at the end starts to pcik it back up again before the shot cuts], and Mike doing his typical baby-limbed child-rant where he awkwardly tried to destroy things.

    It’s damn near perfect, especially with that music kicking in.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He penetrates any foes with his male gaze.

    “Now there’s a woman I’d wanna fuck!”

  • Alex Lee

    And says and does all the right things.

  • Jason Ross

    HE ATE ALL THE PIZZA.

  • Alex Lee

    And so did TMNT.

  • Thanatos2k

    This episode proves Rich Evans is an Academy Award worthy actor. How the hell could anyone not crack a smile at any point during this? A stone cold pro, that’s who.

  • Thanatos2k

    Needed Rich Evans thought bubbles.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The thought bubbles are just gonna contain Jessica Alba in her underwear.

    Oh. Yeah. We need Rich Evans thought bubbles.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This definitely trumps the times when Rich Evans stood motionless in the background in previous videos.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Well, you’re keeping closer track than I. Maybe this should be a wake-up call and I should move on with my life. Set out for new lands, sail the seven seas, seek for the undiscovered country.

    Nah.

  • Mike Jakermen

    You probably could do a better job on Photoshop. The site is pretty limiting. I was bored. What can i say.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Treacher’s avatar reminds me that POTUS and Space Copus have something in common: they both love to eat hot dog.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Prepare for opening.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Canada is mostly undiscovered, eh?

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Hey, and I just realized that basement is an anagram for “bat semen.”

    It’s all making sense now.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Half in the Bag! Me underwears.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Let’s keep it that way, shall we?

  • Jeff

    That’s what they get for giving Boyhood a poor review…you people are animals.

  • Thanatos2k

    By the way, if you wanted to watch an actual Ninja Turtles movie Turtles Forever is the way to go:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1543920/

  • Thanatos2k

    The funny thing is that Mike was using it as an example of something that “didn’t look like a Michael Bay movie” when Battle: LA also looks like a Michael Bay movie.

  • Thanatos2k

    But is a snake really strong enough to pull a guy out of quicksand?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Is that A Camera or B Camera?

  • Stupid Wizard

    Hopefully you’ll be able to find Captain America

  • Stupid Wizard

    *sees Sonic in username* Chris Chan, piss off

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Rich Camera.

  • Stupid Wizard

    What’s wrong with your face? Your fa-fa-face?

  • Stupid Wizard

    He is, but I’m from Portland

  • Stupid Wizard

    Also did you find another Rich Evans look alike? Did you also known that Jay looks like Spike Jonze?

  • Stupid Wizard

    Percy, you just won the internet

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Something something something two metres something womp rats something something stay on target something R2 somethiiiiiing use the force, Luke something something you switched off your targeting computer something something you’re all clear kid somethi-BOOOOOOM!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You can enjoy what you want. I’m not sure what your comment is getting at.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’ll find him, but I sure as hell won’t leave my car unless I take the keys with me!

  • Maricruz Villalobos Zamora

    Now I think about it, there’s a Darker and Edgier version of TMNT, it’s called Mutant Ninja Turtles Gaiden (they’re not teenagers anymore) and it’s dark and fucked up and awesome, and true to the source material. I mean, it can be done. But that’s not what we’re here for

  • DanceOfBirther

    Now it’s a philosophy seminar. What are we here for?

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    As Sgt. Scales used to say back in my Army days, if it’s not money or time off, I don’t want it.

  • Chris

    1:45 to 2:06. Borderline experimental.

  • http://www.according2robyn.blogspot.com/ According2Robyn

    I think Rich used up all his words when he gave this interview:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz5TGN7eUcM

  • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

    In Space Mutiny, yeah. But they have said the original tagline as-is in other episodes where it was appropriate.

    So HA, I’m still sorta right!

  • Zach McDonald

    Vagine

  • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

    It’s pretty fun, but they overplayed the 80’s turtles as goofballs WAAAAAAY too much. Like to the point where they seemed almost useless.

  • Noah R.

    That TMNT rock band was just embarrassing xD

  • bob665@aol.com

    Damn seizures. What I meant was, all I hear is how Boyhood was filmed and
    nothing about the actual plot. The high score is just a result of the equivalent
    of intellectual masturbation.

  • fred

    Holy shit. I have that phone Rich is using.

  • fred

    PG-13 movies really aren’t for anyone. They try to hit the adult/child demographic and fail miserably. One FUCK…that’s it, and no modifiers! The best way to understand this is to watch This Film Is Not Yet Rated.

  • LookAtThisIdiot

    I’m glad you finally got Boyhood right.

  • TexasDice

    Is the obnoxious dubstep only in the trailer or also during the movie?

    I can feel my brain farting during the shown trailer segments.

  • Marquis Moon

    On July 17th, I had a dream in which I was hiding out in a small town, because some organization was out to kill me. I’m living and working in a clothing shop, and through that I join this group made up of all the RLM people plus a few others, who do secret patrols and reconnaissance around town Buffy-style, and work out of a base behind my shop where they also do video reviews.

    On July 18th, RLM uploaded their Dawn of the Planet of the Apes HitB review.

    I’m sure there’s a simple explanation for all this.

  • RHCZ

    Wow. I didn’t even like Boyhood as much as you guys fake liked it … I … I dunno how to think about movies now. lol

  • Marquis Moon

    No.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Taco, can you pull over? I think I’m going to be sick

  • Hieronymus Friedrich von Münch

    escape from la was great you goddamn hack.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    You never know with that psycho dad of his. Hollywood could sure need some childlabor laws.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh, that’s right. And I even just watched it. Oh, well. But clearly it wasn’t enough. There can never be enough.

  • omitted

    Hey, you edited your comment or sumthing… or fork in the brain?

  • guy

    This is the only site I ever use where I absolutely do not want to use adblock, but often have to just to get the fucker to load properly.

  • omitted

    So you enjoyed some penis shaped meat before seeing Chris Pratt’s abs with bunch of men? Riiiiiight

  • omitted

    and @mitchelltaconash:disqus tried to steal your thunder

  • dirk beefhammer

    I feel like eating pizza now

  • omitted

    Yeah, the world deserves to see Jay with some cock (male chicken) in his mouth

  • omitted

    Star Trek VI?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    This has been mentioned up-thread.

    It was not unnoticed by mere mortals.

  • shuura84

    It makes me feel uncomfortable

  • http://backwards7even.blogspot.co.uk/ backwards7

    The found footage genre comes in for a great deal of stick, yet its over-reliance on blind luck makes it one of the hardest styles of cinema to do well.

    First off the director, usually with no support or financial backing from a studio, must find the footage to make their movie. This entails scouring car boot sales for amateur film that is both interesting and articulate and of a length that warrants it being moulded into a full-length feature – something at least 90 minutes long.

    Unfortunately footage of this kind is a finite resource. George Romero struck gold with Diary of the Dead when he uncovered the work of some film studies students who had carefully documented on camcorder the collapse of society in the face of a zombie apocalypse. To find anything even remotely as compelling as that movie one must be prepared to sit through hundreds of interminable wedding receptions, children’s birthday parties, and dismal home-made sex tapes that exude the limp erotic charge of lions indifferently humping under a baobab tree on a Wednesday afternoon on the Serengeti.

    More frustrating are those occasions when somebody has filmed a sequence of events that are genuinely worth preserving (an alien invasion for example) but either didn’t have a clue how to operate their camera or was too cowardly to stand out in the open to get odd intelligible shot of the action. Even found footage films must contain at least 60 non-consecutive seconds of competent camera-work where the audience can clearly discern what is going on. These flashes of coherence will be sandwiched in-between lengthy shots of somebody running with the camera pointing at their feet.

    Since modern found footage films often rely on multiple perspectives, once the makers have found something that is worthy of a theatre release during a slow week, they must then then track down companion footage shot by other parties on other devices. Usually this is done by placing adverts in the local press or on Craig’s List.

    After all the raw material has been gathered the production moves to the editing suite where the found footage must now be arranged into a semblance of a story. Because of the authentic nature of this type of film re-shoots are impossible. In forging the narrative the director must carefully piece together what he has at his disposal.

    Finally, after a cut of the movie has been completed those individuals who appear in the footage must be tracked down and permission obtained to use their likenesses.

    Taking all of this into account the makers of Into the Storm: Sith Fire Tornadoes of Oz should be commended for their efforts. It would have been far easier for them to document the life of a CGI tornado from the early stages of childhood up until its late teens when it had grown into a mumbly adolescent weather system with an interest in photography. Instead they chose to aim high.

    Some praise must also go to the various camera operators who, in the face of death or serious injury, retained the presence of mind to shoot themselves from interesting angles. I would like to offer my condolences to all those who lost their lives while making this film.

  • Derek Cottle

    “Fuck Truffaut!”

  • poop

    they were useless

  • poop

    It makes me feel comfortable

  • Guest

    I still have my VHS of that execrable TMNT musical. I was nine years old and even I was wondering what the fuck happened with that ending.

  • Palpatine

    So does that mean Mike and Jay will turn into giant catfish men wearing sneakers, and then go around awkwardly killing people? Because I’d love to see that!

  • Jason Ross

    JAY ATE ALL THE PIZZZA

  • NotRickBerman

    It was a song written by L.L. Cool J.

  • poop

    Boyhood is a pretentious oscarbating garbage that, aside from it’s interesting technical aspect, had nothing to offer aside from dull and trite drama shenanigans.

  • NotRickBerman

    It’s gonna be great.

  • http://www.derlisgonzalez.com DAGJWFAN

    The fact that Rich Evans was able to keep a straight face after Mike’s “And then a tornado was hiding in the darkness” line is proof of his god-like abilities.

    What a master.

  • Michael Collins

    Usually with hitb reviews I can be entertained with just the review, but in this case I was as bored as Rich Evans looked, all the way through!

    Am I becoming desensitized?

  • omitted

    You’re becoming redlettermediatized

  • omitted

    How do you cope with the comment section without drinking?!

  • jaymanxyz2

    Boyhood is awesome bro. What do you know. *pours beer on face*

  • GeneralGrievance

    After the first movie in 1990, why is anyone still a TMNT fan? I remember liking the original comic when I was about 14 years old. When I was 16, I was excited to walk into the first TMNT film…Then I saw the movie.
    In an attempt to answer my own question, my guess is someone would have to be 12 or younger when that first movie came out to give two shits about ever wanting to see the Turtles’ faces again.

  • jaymanxyz2

    I almost fell from laughter after Mike kept saying “flawless and perfect.”

  • jaymanxyz2

    By the way, when Mike talks about the “greats from the Renaissance,” (around 1:00) do you think he was making a subtle reference to TMNT?

  • Thanatos2k

    I know. The voice acting is wonky for a bunch of the characters too but getting everyone would have been hard.

  • Palpatine

    For the next BotW, you guys should review low budget foreign action movies. My suggestions include Rampage (a.k.a. Turkish Rambo), Fatal Deviation (which is Ireland’s first martial arts movie), and this little gem called Who Killed Captain Alex, which is Uganda’s first ever action movie:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BymeLkZ7GqM

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I changed it about 10 seconds after I wrote it. It originally said “Hack Fraudery”. Then I realized, “Wait, they already have those powers!”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    A tornado killed my kids … AND RAPED MY WIFE!

  • omitted

    For me it read just “Hack Fraudery” for like a day. Disqusting!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Holy shit. Give that kid his own weather report or something! Sports commentary! Anything!

    That was brilliant.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Speaking of Goldmember, I have a few pieces of skin that have peeled off from my sunburn.

    What do you mean that’s weird?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He’s looking at boobses.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Shhh! Don’t tell him. I forgot about his comment.

    Oh, great, he’s called the Plagiarism Police. Thanks, Obama omitted.

  • Jason Ross

    BtitsW International Edition

  • Jordan Bisasky

    Im disappointed they didn’t mention Star Wars Episode I when they were talking about movies that were actually written for kids.

  • omitted

    You’re welcum

  • Captain Turbo

    The dying utterance of General Custer.

  • omitted

    “One FUCK…that’s it”

    Story of my life…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Cocaine’s a hell of a whaaaaaaaaaaaat?”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Where do we, the entitled audience, fit into all of this?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Oh sure. The critics were all completely up their own asses when they reviewed BOYHOOD positively, but they were all right-on when they reviewed GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY positively. Huh?

    Yes, criticism has been as inflated as budgets and movie ticket prices. Meaningless, hyperbolic, drivel.

    So?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    We RLM commenters may be assholes, but we’re the best KIND of assholes [tender, clean, and fuckable].

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Oh my gaaawwwwwd! That’s the firt time I noticed that. Jesus Christ.

    Also, she looks like a dude in drag or transgender:

    http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/starcrush.com/files/2013/05/Kevin-Winter.jpg

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Other people ate that pizza bullshit first, too, yet they don’t even mention it.

  • JimTreacher
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Cameron doesn’t do what Cameron does for Cameron. Cameron does what Cameron does because Cameron is… Cameron.”

  • http://www.youtube.com/ac1dchr15t ac1d
  • Hank_Henshaw

    You may have not noticed, but your brain did.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    No worries, great minds think alike?

  • Paul Schumann

    brick’s a good moopie

  • Like Icare

    Plastics.

  • Guest

    Maybe.

  • Javier Marcelo Pacheco

    there weren’t a lot jokes

  • Guest

    What? No, I’m saying the backlash Mike and Jay got for not liking Boyhood is unnecessary and we all don’t have to like the same things, so no point in criticizing someone’s taste in films because of their opinion.

  • Javier Marcelo Pacheco

    what are you talking about? movies like ‘up’ have the greatest melodrama with the awesome montage with generic cute/sad stuff to then send us to watch a movie about a giant chicken and talking dogs

  • Like Icare

    Hilarious.

  • playdude92 .

    Two movies you forget about faster than what you had for lunch.

  • Olebole

    There you go… :)

  • Memoman

    We get the pleasure to stare into the kind soul of Dick the Construction Worker through his pristine eyes and ponder how every moment has been a prelude building up to this moving revelation.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m not sure if he knows what the word “apparently” means, though.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Do you even have a car?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Jessi’s filming?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Speaking of which; where the hell is Faddlechud? He’s been missing for ages!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What’s wrong with her faaaace?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Are we looking at the same picture?

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    See, I set that right up for you. I gave you an opportunity to make a joke at my expense.

    It’s called being a straight man. Boo-yah.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Would bang.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Actually, it’s “them apples”*, Mr. You also missed a comma.

  • phillipkslick

    Wow. A whole one.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What about Jingle Cats?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    *V8 Juice, not beer.

  • Alex Lee

    “It’s a masterpiece of flawlessness.”

  • Captain Turbo

    I’m sorry, but that sounds kind of racist. Next you’ll be saying that tornadoes shouldn’t be allowed to immigrate to our country and become citizens.

  • imc440

    For the last few episodes everybody looks like they’re just about to turn into the Hulk.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    He keeps me under his spell.

  • omitted

    Who are you calling an ‘a-hole’?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Would have been awesome if the pizza turned into the Hulk, too.

    Pizza Hulk, or Pulk for short.

  • Captain Turbo

    Marvel would like to pay you 5 million dollars to turn your idea into a script, so joke’s on you…

  • omitted

    Foiled once again by my need to make everything a gay innuendo.

    Goshdarnit!

  • My ex wife

    I know you can’t undo it, but surely you can diminish the effects of it?

  • My ex wife

    It’s just a shame Brady has anything to do with it.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Thanks Marvel! Now I can become a DC fangirl and buy a couple copies of Action Comics #1! Yay!

    http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/2014/08/action-comics-1-rockets-to-1-6-million-in-first-day-of-bidding/

  • My ex wife

    Watch out for spikes.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    I thought “Let’s All Kill Gay People Because Jesus” was Uganda’s first action movie.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    You just need some pizza.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    The original title of that NWA song.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    The best part was Steve Buscemi.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Can’t say the same thing for the Vatican.

  • Palpatine

    If he wants to be more sensitized, he should eat pizza rolls instead.

  • iiiis

    What was the other Half in the Bag episode where they mention Escape from LA?

    I watched the movie bcs of it and I want to see the episode again so that I can be mad at it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You butchered the quote.

    Now Mr. Plinkett is gonna butcher youuuuuuuuu.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s exactly what I’m saying.

    Wait, ‘our’ country?

  • D00mM4r1n3

    The new TMNT movie is better than any of the previous TMNT movies, sadly that’s not saying much. The turtles crack-wise well enough but the villains just stand around waiting to get pummeled. Oh, and what’s her name has a fat face.

  • Palpatine

    Don’t you mean the Amazing Bulk?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yeah? What about condolences to all those who lost their lives watching the film?!!

    http://www.johnlund.com/images/10001300049.jpg

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    1,6 mill to see Superman kill people? Why not.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    No, Shakespeare. But you then again you have never experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Haha. So naïve.

    You think they get off their asses when they make those reviews? Laziness always finds a way.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Even greater minds steal shit and pass it off as their own.

    Shia LaBeouf, I’m gunnin’ for you!

    Just let me cut some eye-holes into this paper bag first, though.

  • TheMaK

    The power of editing :o

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    ‘Only God Forgives’, also starring Ryan Gosling.

    When is Rich Evans going to be inspired by that performance? Oh, you mean he already has when Len beat the shit out of him? Okay.

  • DanceOfBirther

    No, that’s their first slasher film.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    I wanna talk about how much more awesome boyhood is! I WANNA TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME BOYHOOD IS!!

  • Moses McSamson

    Rich Evans, you indifferent glorious bastard.

  • jic1

    “After the first movie in 1990, why is anyone still a TMNT fan?”

    Because of the two good TV cartoons and the OK animated movie that came after? It’s not like there was nothing between the ’90s movies and now.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s that or spend it all at the Indian Casino. I don’t know which is a better financial decision.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Didn’t you bet your husband there? I’d go with the casino and bring my cat.

  • Real Quantum

    Fire wasn’t invented, it was discovered.
    The wheel was invented.

    HAACKS!!

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    She’s so made up and surgically altered she looks like an imitation of a woman.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Oh, and what’s her name has a fat face.

    Whoopi Goldberg?

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    I can’t recall a previous mention of EFLA. I’m a huge fan of what I call the John Carpenter-Kurt Russell trilogy (EFNY, Thing, BTILC), so I’m always listening for references.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Forget it–he’s rolling.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8lT1o0sDwI

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Proof that Jay is a hillbilly … and a RAPIST!

    http://youtu.be/ekZOdPsLKrA

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Crack-wise?

  • jaymanxyz2

    Those hacks can’t even do a believable satire of hack critics!!! UNSUBSCRIBE!!!

  • mk741

    The world needs more Steve Buscemi’s, so I’m ok with this.

  • Jared Ouimette

    But that wasn’t written for kids.

  • Palpatine

    Is it me, or does the kid look a lot like Jake Lloyd?

  • Michael Collins

    Well the re-review of Boyhood was fucking good, and some comments about the slasher tornadoes were funny too.
    Maybe I was being a little unfair, but fuck them hacks, they deserve to be crucified for all the attention they heap on michael bay..

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    I wasn’t planning on coming here today but I had to share this with you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2mdK5-AlLY

  • Mk Ultra

    You put Rich there cuz you knew we wouldn’t give a fuck about the stupid tornado movie. Fuck you, it worked.

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd

    I think they picked her because she looks like a ninja turtle…

    *brought to you by racism*

  • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

    Especially with the strike or whatever that was going on at the time.

    It was also weird hearing 80s Shredder go though three different voices throughout the special, though considering how often VAs got swapped in the original, that was surprisingly appropriate.

  • Chris

    Holy FUCK! And then after another 50 years or so, it will be… Gollum?

  • Joe Syxpac

    No wonder her hand modeling career never took off.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Boyhood is an inferior Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

  • Joe Syxpac

    (Oh, please resist! Don’t do it! It’s a trap!)

    IT’LL BE GREAT!

    (Damnit!)

  • Chris

    Wtf is wrong with Mike liking the TMNT movie and shit? Is he sober or something?

  • Alex

    Or if the pizza turned into a huge Pizza Roll and joins as a 3rd Reviewer from time to time, who provides the hackfrauds J&M with background nerd information and a voice of reason…

  • shuura84

    SPOILERS !!

  • DJ Doena

    Please review the first Turtles movies! :)

  • Cringe

    Their second episode or so.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And apparently only now did I read the video title.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Ohhh. Pizza as nourishment for the arbiter of reason. I like it.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Let’s see now, Jake Lloyd *going through archives*. Ah, yes it’s the kid from that George Lucas directed smash hit Jingle all the way! Could be a lookalike, kids all look the same to me. You know cus I’m just a fat frog.

    http://dvdmedia.ign.com/dvd/image/JINGLE-2_1102622100.jpg

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    I like his acting. I think he’s great.

  • Real Quantum

    Fuck Buscemi, his name is Mr. Pink!
    Got it??

  • Real Quantum

    Somebody must have said it before, but I don’t care…
    Best.Sitcom.Ever.
    No, really.
    It is.

  • Paul Woodcock

    you should never ask about a turtle’s crack, it’s not wise…not wise at all.

  • Paul Woodcock

    I don’t know, I think this is an artistic step backwards for Mr Rich Evans in that he comes to the forefront of the scene but doesn’t actually blend into it as he is known for.

    Rich’s true artistic genius is in the “I don’t give a fuck, I’m standing here” style of acting and checking phone messages and eating pizza whilst prominently in the frame is something I’d consider beneath him.

    His acting today was something more akin to the two neck-bearded hack frauds that *ahem* host this show.

  • Real Quantum

    About eleven.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Speaking of mr Evans stoic performance, he also stands in the background like a statue in the buy our Space cop crap video. I’ve always wondered if that’s CG, stillframe or just Rich standing there.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xsd2AgjH9Y&list=UUrTNhL_yO3tPTdQ5XgmmWjA

  • Robby

    Now that they can do anything with computers, they’re going to do everything with computers.

  • Drain

    I think Rich just showed up to this episode to eat some pizza. He sits there the whole time like a cardboard cut out, seemingly eagerly awaiting the filming to end so he can get back to playing XCOM for a few hundred more hours.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What’s wrong with Mike’s haaaaair?

  • BYH

    Actually, I would say every natural disaster film from 2012 to Volcano does that weird “make the earth sentient to the point it’s the monster” schtick. Like when the lighting bolts and fault lines are literally chasing our heroes wherever they go. Probably the most infamous example is from The Day After Tomorrow with that laughable “killer instant frost” scene.

  • Gene Parmesan

    Escape from La also features Peter Fonda as the long lost fifth surfing turtle.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jb8nbZDtgNg

  • bb-15

    Thanks RLM. Now there are two more movies I won’t be seeing in a theater.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Offensive to all the senses, very Michael Bay. Good job. A+

  • Benzo

    Describe Rich Evans without saying what he looks like, what kind of costume he wore, or what his profession or role in the episode was. Describe Rich Evans to your friends like they ain’t never seen Half in the Bag.
    …Stoic?

  • Meester Smeeth

    Completely sexy in, like, a bad boy sort of way. Where, like, he’s gonna ride the line?

  • fred

    He’s a hard worker. Balancing the jobs of a construction worker and police officer is tough shit.

  • fred

    I walked right into that one.

  • Where’s Paul Verhoeven?

    Yeah, this is a pretty big compliment to this kid. Buscemi is the man.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Plain with a lot of makeup?

  • fred

    wuUHhhhhHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAAH…uuUUHH HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH…ooooh gawd

  • locoma

    Escape from LA is a classic of terrible 90’s movies, it has too many memorable things of pure stupidity: the dolls’ head in the cadillac, the bad guy spoofing Che Guevara, this surfing a tsunami scene, the basketball scene, the sewer scene… It’s so 90’s shitty it stands out.

  • fred

    Although I’m not sure if that’s saying much…

  • fred

    shitty tipper though

  • fred

    Rich you fffffUCKER

  • Palpatine

    I know I already posted this somewhere, but I still think that this is the best TMNT related thing ever:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFP1KQpxqFQ

  • Ugh

    Man’s man, strong but silent, but only due to disinterest, yet in an interesting sort of way. However, the performance leaves you wanting more of such big little.

  • Palpatine

    His character is sort of the bumbling sidekick. He’s kind of the comic relief.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    God-like. Divine. All-seeing. Cancer-curing laughter. Saves your soul. Drives away your suicidal thoughts long enough for a new RLM video to be posted.

    Bonerific?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m Canadian. Killer instant frost is no laughing matter.

    Also, it works exactly how they showed it to work in the film.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “he also stands in the background like a statue in the buy our Space cop crap video”

    I don’t see you mention a spoiler alert anywhere … SPOILERS!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You sly boots.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You mean he’ll stop being an aimless, whiny human and become a funny, well-seasoned actor?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Now this is aging!”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He represents the universe in its indifference.

    Truly the greatest thespian of our generation. He outdoes Shakesman with his rhyming poetry.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    written by a kid*

    There, fixed.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    This country of ours called “North America.”
    “USA” is its abbreviation.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You’ve inspired me.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    We can only comment on this webzone because Rich Evans allows us to comment on this webzone.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    He’s busy creating the world’s longest GIF.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “It is as bad a sequel as Aliens and T2 and Empire and Road Warrior …”

    *Holds breath.*

    “… are good sequels.”

    *Phew/exhales.* *Wipes forehead.* *Nods head in approval.*

  • StanMorris

    I love Rich Evans.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “I make shitty Youtube Videos that no one watches”

    I went and watched some to prove you WRONG!

    I enjoyed them. :)

  • Stupid Wizard

    Worst fucking costumes ever

  • Stupid Wizard

    Rich Evans is sexy beyond belief. He says things that might make certain women well- it bell might turn them away. But to real believers his words are sexier than Karen Gillan

  • Real Quantum

    Touche, Sir.

  • Palpatine

    At least Ellar Coltrain aged better than Jake Lloyd if you ask me.

  • jaymanxyz2

    If Shakespeare were alive today, he would kill himself for being so shitty compared to Evans!

  • My ex wife

    Computas?

  • fred

    As our narrator we present; Stan Lee on drugs!

  • Now I Get It

    Usurper!

    I was in first place once – or was it second? I don’t really remember. It lasted for about as long as it took me to type this comment, after Taco went crazy and took Percy and Tape with him. I still don’t know what it meant but – full disclosure? – I enjoyed it.

  • My ex wife

    He’s got a bit of a dark streak to him with you know, burning his grandmas house down.

    This is funny by the way, i get it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Rich Evan’s the key to all this, if we can get Rich Evans working …

    Which is difficult because he’s stylistically designed to just sit incredibly still and eat pizza.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    I had almost completely erased it from my mind. Now I’m thinking about its shittiferousness. Thanks, Obama.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    When’s the next RLM iPhone app?

  • Meester Smeeth

    CONTINUED IN PAAART TW-

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    *different inglorious bastard, for the Tarantino fanbois.

  • Robert Fitl

    Good one, not to be sarcastic.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    This will probably be my greatest accomplishment in life. I don’t think I could ever beat Percy or Taco in comment count unless I got some Redline and went on a 48 hour commenting spree.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    What this shows is that we’re starving for a Plinkett review.

    By the way when is the next Plinkett review?

  • Arvetis

    Wow. Had to turn it off when he said he liked TMNT. Unsubbed, never watching another RLM video again, crossing you off the christmas card list.

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd

    At 2:03 hit pause and click this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZYKVNT-VWA&t=6s

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    I believe in you Domo, but you’re gonna need a montage.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    In the year they call “2015”.
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2488496/

  • Thanatos2k

    You might be thinking Rich Evans is the main character, but he was introduced like 45 minutes into the episode, and the events happening around him are out of his control and understanding.

  • Thanatos2k

    What do you mean, I had….oh shit, I don’t remember.

  • Earthbound_X

    “A different opinion than my own!”
    “Panic! Panic!”

  • Sebastian Von Fappywank

    Cheers lad. <33

  • Thanatos2k

    Obama just lets them roll right over the borders!

  • Palpatine

    In the space of about 90 seconds they from lamenting the apparent of death Mr. Plinkett, to escape, to slightly comedic with Rich Evans, to Mike and Jay returning, you know, it’s a lot.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Please don’t read comment before viewing. There, taken care of.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    No wait that’s the exact opposite of what I want. Damn you Nash I was trying to be clever.

  • Meester Smeeth

    I’m hoping for a two-part Half In The Bag special edition starring Jay Bauman as Jay, Mike Stoklasa as Mike & Palpy, featuring Rich Evans as Harry and introducing George Lucas as Rich Evans.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Speaking of aging, anyone ever mention your face?

  • Palpatine

    Eh, what are you gonna do? I’m almost 120 years old, and I spent most of my life messing with the Dark Side.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I even commented on won of yor videos.

    That’s the equivalent of an internet handshake, right?

  • Earthbound_X

    Damn, Rich has an amazing Poker Face.

  • Now I Get It

    Well, Percy may yet double over with another kidney stone, or be incarcerated for trafficking in black-market copies of “Nukie”, or whatever else he does to get his OCD on. In which case, you’ve definitely got the stride to gnaw on his trailing ankle.

    Taco, however, we all know as a hummingbird, at whose darting grace we can only wonder…before spiking his sugar water with Nyquil to aid in his de-programming.

    In any case, in those moments of less post-haste, when you reflect on your life’s “accomplishment,” please know that this, this was glorious.

    http://redlettermedia.com/space-cop-behind-the-scenes-making-aliens/#comment-1350290551

  • milky_cereal

    I hope that pizza was a prop, because it doesn’t look all that good.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/EUmmc.gif[/IMG]

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Pardon?

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    They say pizza is like Rich Evans. Even when it’s bad it’s still really good.

  • Captain Turbo

    I unfriend you.

  • Thom Stone

    rich, please talk more and move more. youre the only thing keeping me sane these days.

    the less you appear
    the more the darkness seeps in

  • Alex Lee

    “What just happened? There’s blood all over the Kinko’s counter.”

  • Thom Stone

    episode #32

    you’re welcome

  • Rob Rose

    Even when talking about the TMNT Rich barely spoke…

  • Rick Jaeger

    His ass was nice, crack-wise.

  • Stardog Champion

    He’s snobbish, funny, and charismatic. Also he has a glutton for pain (:

  • DanceOfBirther

    I heard she was cast so they could save money by hiring someone who was born digitally color graded.

  • Stardog Champion

    You know, I’ve been wondering. Rich Evans is the only one eating that pizza and Mike and Jay said nothing about it. I feel that Evans sitting still and eating that pizza is suppose mean something, maybe a metaphor, symbol, or a reference to a movie scene.

  • Stardog Champion

    Lol yes

  • jaymanxyz2

    Jay eats some of the pizza.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m sorry but that just isn’t true. Except for the Rich Evans part. Bad Rich Evans still remains to be seen, though.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Ooh, I can’t wait! Hear that @Faddlechud:disqus ?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Diggin’ your thumbnail.

    “I think I found your squirrel, kid.”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Fine, I’ll bite.

    The TMNT love pizza.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    FUCK YEAH!

    Your [IMG][/IMG] doesn’t work for Dicksucks Disqus.

  • Alex

    The metaphor is that RichEvans bought the pizza and The Evans doesnt like to share.

  • Jory Brown

    It looks like a cheese pizza.

  • Jory Brown

    Is this the first ever RLM video where Rich doesn’t burst out into his world-famous guffaw?

  • Alex

    and they don’t even eat pizza….not once….
    Well, with their teeth glued together they probably can’t. But they didn’t even try to brush their teeth with it >:(

  • Alex

    Heeeeeeeeeee’s…….Natalie Portman?

  • Pulp

    Maybe the critics, were a bunch of pederasts.

  • Alex
  • Alex

    That reminds me: we never see the Turtles sewer-surfing in the movies.

  • Alex

    Would be great if they occasionally put a cardboard cut-out of Rich inbetween the takes.

  • Real Quantum

    Anyway, if you wanna laugh some more, watch this…
    How’s it got only 800 views, I’ll never know.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZB_nmi9QFA&list=UUeQKys_mvB1C971kgzOm3KQ&index=19

  • Alex

    It seems that we’re entering the dark ‘n gritty stage of the RLM timeline.

  • Robotpals

    This seems to be a “respond to comments” episode, what with the frothing love of Boyhood and the presence of Rich Evans, despite him having anything to say.

  • Palpatine

    That is one of his flaws. Not being cool about fire safety.

  • Gene Parmesan

    Even the big ending switcheroo is a Snake Pliskin hologram, so 90’s.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    god dammit

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    See, I thought Percy’s Nukies were his kidney stones, since they’re so rare in the world and, frankly, quite painful to look at.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    RLM is getting the Dark Knight treatment?

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Funny, I was just today thinking of going on hiatus. Or maybe even retiring PG and starting again with a new persona (I have one in mind in particular–that comes straight from the mouth of Stoklasa).

    I should note that PG is not my first persona here. In fact, he’s not even the first incarnation of PG. If all of those other comments were added in, I imagine I would probably have at least another 200-300 on my tote board–maybe more.

  • Junkie

    Then you’ve never been to CiCi’s.

  • Alex

    Because Happy-Laughter-RichEvans is the hero the Internet deserves, but not the hero it needs right now.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Mmmmm. Cici’s. Where you need a chamois towel to soak up the grease off your pizza.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yeah, except instead of Two-Face it’s Double-Chin.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Season 4 doesn’t seem to be working on the RLM webzone. :(

    I am distraught.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    basterd*, for the Tarantino fanboyz.

    artificially flavoured*, for the Totino’s Pizza Rolls fanboyz.

    http://forthemommas.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/totinos-pizza-rolls-pepperoni.jpg

  • My ex wife

    He has given us a sign! The pizza is the sign, let us follow his example. Let us like him, sit motionless for 15 minutes and let the pizza be upon the chable for this is his sign that all who follow him shall do like wise!

  • My ex wife

    After i heard the recording of him ripping in to that guy he employed to edit some of his videos, it pretty much put me off him forever. I still watch some of his stuff tho because the profs really interesting.

  • bb-15

    All I know for certain from this episode is that Boyhood is the greatest thing since the invention of sperm.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Alright, fess up, which one of you sent these hack frauds all these posters? Percy, do you have anything to do with this?

  • Lat

    This is funny, by the way, I get it.

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd
  • GraphicsAndBeer

    WIFI Tower

  • Stupid Wizard

    It wasn’t me! It was the one armed man!

  • stryker1121

    Enjoyed Rich’s unblinking stare into the abyss during Into the Storm review.

  • shogunmaster

    Rich Evans carries these hacks. The guy can just sit back and stare silently; remaining the sole focus of the show..

  • Alex Lee

    “Unsubscribed!”
    “Who are you?!”
    “Check your facts!”

  • Palpatine

    The bigger question is, where did they get their couch and other furniture from? It looks like IKEA.

  • Palpatine

    Donald Pleasance should give a monolouge about Rich Evans’ blank, pale, emotionless face. And the blackest eyes. The Devil’s eyes.

  • Palpatine

    It’s all cgi. Having a real pizza on the set would require them having to get out of their comfy chairs and order the pizza’s. With cgi at their disposal, they can do anything they want.

  • Guest

    RedLetterMedia should do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Oh, oh, make Rich Evans do it!

  • Thanatos2k

    Also don’t tell him he’s doing it.

  • Thanatos2k

    Your patreon dollars at work.

  • Thanatos2k

    Alright guys, admit it. Did you know TMNT was going to have a crappy “gas the city” plot when you wrote up the green gas HitB storyline?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Except instead of donating money to ALS, they ask us to donate money to them for having to buy the bucket and all that ice! :D

    God, I’m an asshole.

  • Stupid Wizard

    All spent on cheap furniture that fills up my apartment

  • jaymanxyz2
  • Stupid Wizard

    Who would they challenge? Len Kabasinski? Screen Junkies?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    SPOILERS!!!!!!!

  • jaymanxyz2

    Oh geez, I’m sorry I didn’t even think about that. I’ll fix it. Hang on.

  • PicklesRTasty

    HAHAHHAA THAT IS MY FAVORUTIE NEW MEME!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s already happening.

    http://i.minus.com/jfFVO2wXfavRe.png

  • David Farrell

    Good review! I’m pretty much in Jay’s camp when it comes to the ninja turtles movie. Like Rich mentioned, the nickelodeon cartoon that’s airing right now has fleshed out characters and is actually really good. I don’t understand why they didn’t spin off the movie from the series.

  • andrew thompson

    i really hate the BLIP posts…. fucking stop using FUCKING BLIP! its a shit glitch filled michael bay movie of a program!!!
    you cant jump to any point,(it goes to random points.) no preview, no way to control the resolution. IF YOU MOVE THE MOUSE IT RESTARTS THE WHOLE VIDEO! and i would never link to a blip clip cause i dont want to piss my friends off with its shitfullness! blip is shit! make it die!!!!

  • andrew thompson

    american pizzas all look like that… they are a strange and savage people.

  • andrew thompson

    dont get me wrong youtube sux too…. but BLIP is a shit filled hell hole of fuckededness.

  • Now I Get It

    I remember beta Percy, from when I saw that your current account was something like “Percy_Gryce_2″, a detail no longer visible in Dingus’s new format. Of course, it was alpha Percy that we all subscribed to and that you’re thinking has run its course.

    Still, New Persona vs. Hiatus raises questions about what you’ll lose vs. what you’ll gain that can’t be measured in mere numbers, and that you might sum up with the anti-proverbial “Is a change as good as a rest?”

    I’ve faced it myself and found that, although I could imagine both alternatives, only one of them was possible…to me. I wonder what you’ll find.

  • thatsrightjay

    mike and rich both default to the same painful as shit character voice over and over (especially rich), could someone please investigate which of them is the originator of this and which is merely mimicking, i need to know who to blame in my suicide letter. thank you

  • Michael Collins

    testing..ah, it works..
    http://share.gifyoutube.com/0sG.gif

  • Michael Collins

    That’s my first ever gif…hahahahaha

  • nocomment

    How this dialogue should have been:
    “- Truffaut makes Linklater look like an asshole!
    – Yeah Fuck Linklater!
    – Yeah, fuck yeah! Boyhood so fucking sucks!”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Hahaha. That edit is great. I thought you would have put something like, “Shut the fuck up, Taco.”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wish that image showed up on Disqus. Nice one.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Dikembe Mutombo did the ice bucket challenge, except I only left in the part where he gets GOD DAMN POSSESSED BY THE FUCKING DEVIL HIMSELF!

    Seriously though, his reaction is a bit much. It’s like Jay’s autistic spaz from this episode, but more demonic.

    http://youtu.be/0j5GHceZB8k

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    How did you upload this GIF without using a link?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Fixed it. For some reason Disqus decided not to like Minus.

  • Michael Collins

    Is that what I did?
    I have no idea, but the edit feature was involved in the initial post.

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd

    Gif guys, can you please gif this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLwe7UqUX7k&t=1m53s

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd

    Just drag and drop right?

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd

    Insert image here computer!

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd

    upload!

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd

    make it so!

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd

    …okay maybe not…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Comment whore. It’s easy.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Whoa, I guess not.

    Fucking hypocrite.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, it worked… kinda. Let’s try that again.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Nope.

  • UnhealthyNutter

    Damn the size of that pizza and the slices :O. You Americans and your portion sizes are just ridiculous, no wonder you lead the global obesity & diabetes charts. Crazy. No one needs a pizza that huge.

  • Palpatine

    I’m sure the Jessi fanboys would love to see her do it.

  • Palpatine

    When Milwaukee is ashes, then you have my permission to be cool about fire safety.

  • Palpatine

    Is Mike turning into Bagul from Sinister?

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    What is “wtf” about this?

  • omitted

    Still fucking hot!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s obviously meant for multiple people… But you know how Rich Evans is…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I’m really sad that Richard Armitage didn’t play himself as Thorin Oakenshield while fighting tornadoes in Into the Storm.

    He could have treated every tornado as Smaug trying to go after his treasure. Whenever he loses his sword Orcrist, it just swirls around in a tornado and impales itself into boats and trees. Instead of telling the kids to go seek shelter, he’d be screaming at them about their lack of honor and insist that they hold their ground against these mighty tornadoes. Curses in Dwarvish ensue.

  • Sebastian Von Fappywank

    yeeeah boi

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    And who buys a small pizza when per ounce a large pizza is such a better deal?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    NUMBER ONE! NUMBER ONE!

    Also, you made this account and put your name as ‘UnhealthyNutter’ just to post on here?

    I’m going to cut myself on all that edge.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    “You mean can eat the pizza without having to go to the actual pizza??” *in a scruffy Francis Ford Coppola voice*

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    I was unaware of this. Is it as bad as that Jamie Hyneman ripping into his cameraman video?

  • Real Quantum

    You’re not gonna say you never watched Season 4, right?
    :)

  • My ex wife

    Rich Evans is the only one able to stare into the abyss with out it staring back.

  • Palpatine

    You know what make it better? If they filmed themselves eating the pizza at 48 frames per second.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    I sent the boys a Hollywood Cop poster to go with their expanding collection:

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152323807587634

  • My ex wife

    Without chemicals he points.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Palpatine

    Good, good. I can feel your anger, it gives you focus, makes you stronger.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Yes, I sent in the Hollywood Cop poster.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Thanks for the pointer.

  • My ex wife

    It was only then that WrongWithYourFaces profile picture made sence to me.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m sure they’d even mail in white t-shirts for her.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    It’s a three-way cut that appears to shuffle the deck but actually just returns it to its original state.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Took me a while too.

  • My ex wife

    In 4k.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m always spotting your contributions. ;)

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    *wet t-shirts for her.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You can’t see it, but my moose and I are dancing in celebration of being right.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    There’s a lot of them.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Hopefully it’ll be on-screen during the next BOTW.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Tru dat.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    And IMAX 3-D?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    A recognized profile picture at that:

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I watched the first 3 seasons. Season 4 not being available is putting a damper on my plans.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce
  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    It was just a large. It’s not like it was an extra large or something.

  • My ex wife

    I’d say so, google brady haran bully, top link.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That kid is clearly depressed because they were just told that the side without toppings is theirs.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    NIGI, I have to buy you a beer sometime. My guess is you are in Ontario, maybe Toronto. Next time I’m there, the booze is on me.

  • My ex wife

    There’s a great future in plastics, think about it. will you think about it?

  • My ex wife

    They had a daughter, Minnie.

  • GraphicsAndBeer

    This is great!!!

  • Joe Syxpac

    At least you had something to post while waiting in that bread line.

  • Now I Get It
  • Now I Get It
  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Word. NIGI, did you show up at Ricky Jay’s Congress of Wonders?

    http://www.rickyjaycongressofwonders.com

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    The kid looks miserable. Should’t a gigantic pizza make you atleast look happy. Spoiled brat. You should dicipline your kid Percy.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Rad!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass
  • jaymanxyz2
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Here I was staring at this image for minutes and then realized your link takes me to Len Kabasinski’s comments on Facebook.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    An extra large pizza AND a severed little girl’s head?

    Man, America truly is a thing of beauty. I should visit again.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Jay only made the cut because of omitted …

    Which is why Jay let omitted make the cut on the Wall of Shame. ;)

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    There was a empty void forming where Rich Evans’ laughter should be in this episode.

    I’m here to fix that.

    http://youtu.be/joXUu3nnllY

  • Charon

    I can’t bring myself to go to the theater for either of these movies. I just can’t.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m offended at how low our very own sexual demigod Rich Evans rests at that list.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What’s so wrong with Teenage Into Mutant The Ninja Storm Turtles?

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd

    Awesome.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yes, but what about the people that want to watch The Care Boars Save Christmas, after every HitB or BotW episode? There’s no fucking Care Boars on fucking Youtube.

  • Michael Collins

    OK, the wtf? was because of the edit, when I first posted the link to the gif, nothing appeared, then I edited the post removing everything except wtf?, then the gif suddenly appeared, so I just left it..

    I get that it looks like I’m saying wtf? about the false cut…LOL

    Btw, that gif was made using gifyoutube, so easy..
    https://gifyoutube.com/

  • Michael Collins

    MMMMMMMMMMM pizza

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Why search for him on the internet when he permeates our very beings?

  • Joe Syxpac

    It’s like the end of Tim Burton’s Batman.

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd
  • dollar store cashier wife

    He permeates my sex hole that’s for sure.

  • Palpatine

    I thought yousa likesa da pizza?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You always find away to grow your post count, don’t you?

  • Like Icare

    Yes I will.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I too thought it was “spot the difference”.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    So. Wrong.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I thought the little girl was miserable because she couldn’t see the pizza horizon. It’s just so far away.

  • MikeStoklasaSexualHot

    This beginning of this episode had me cracking up. Holy shit I FUCKING love RLM!!!!!!!!!!

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Hey, it’s frigging Facebook. Don’t blame me. I don’t use that shite.

  • Captain Turbo

    Could we stop with all the silliness and limit our comments to serious discussion of film? Mike and Jay deserve no less.

    Now excuse me while I go fart in a bag.

  • Ugh

    A serious discussion about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There’s something about this… I can’t quite… Fuck it.

    Cowabunga dude!

    1.
    cowabunga

    (exclamation): Originating as a greeting by Chief Thunderthud (the only Indian ever to have a moustache) to the Peanut Gallery on the 50’s television program “The Howdy Doody Show”, the term was later adopted by surfers in the 60’s.

    Chief Thunderthud: Cowabunga, peanuts!
    The Peanut Gallery: Cowabunga!
    Surfer: Cowabunga, dude!

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cowabunga

    Hehe… Thunderthud

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd

    And thanks…but I gotta ask…can’t I get some of that upvote love? I found the damn thing!

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd

    I’ve been wondering what an Internet Service Provider is…

  • andrew thompson

    thats my point transfer everything…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yes.

    … Dammit.

  • Alex Lee

    I think a better movie idea is the Senior Mutant Ninja Turtles, cause I am sick of all the reboots.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4baNaUaIYMg

  • Joe Syxpac

    As it turns out…

  • jaymanxyz2

    Go ahead and count them. I dare you. A**hole.

  • DanceOfBirther

    No, he turning into Boogedy.

  • Stupid Wizard

    As a person who enjoys journalism and hates that bitch Zoe Quinn and since this is RedLetterMedia I think it is necessary to post this.

    http://www.youtube.com/embed/YNsVmUnapls

  • Stupid Wizard

    That guy looks like me…that’s kinda weird.

  • Michael Collins

    Now it’s gone completely?
    LOL

  • Stupid Wizard

    One thing I’d never fuck right in the pussy

  • http://dreddlaw.ytmnd.com JudgeDredd

    You’ve never looked that happy in your fucking life.

  • Alex

    If your comment gets 1977 upvotes, your wish may be granted.

  • HNSZ

    I have no idea what the K logo and I regard steam as mildly evil, but it was funny nevertheless.

  • HNSZ

    I hate it when the pizza courier drives so recklessly that the toppings fall to one side.

  • HNSZ

    Once Teenage upon Mutant a Ninja time Turtles in the west
    I’d buy that for a dollar!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    I am merely upset Percy’s hawking his cheap wares again.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Pizza Horizon is my favorite movie.

  • Now I Get It

    Yes, I was the guy the ushers escorted to “a better seat with a clearer view,” after I kept blurting out “What just happened, what’s going on, did anyone see that? I don’t get it.”

    In “Gems from a Gambler’s Bookshelf”, Mamet cites the anecdote of Thomas Preston, who calmly agreed to pay extortionists 25% to protect his winnings at a game in Arabia. “I remember reading this bit as a child, and I expected the next paragraph to reveal his rage and indignation…. [But] his lesson is that one hand full with quietness will beat two hands full with vexation of spirit….” (19:3, Make-Believe Town)

    Not everyone would have paid tribute to those little Caesars, of course, so the other lesson is that those who will risk those indignities for the sake of understanding something have, for better or worse, found their life’s work. If Mamet read that as a child, the gambler whose shelf holds these gems is still likely Jay himself, to whom the rest of us rubes owe a debt of gratitude.

    P.S. Sensing that I wasn’t cut out to make real trouble, the Big Boys bounced me from Jay’s show without so much as a rain check.

  • Now I Get It

    Another Lollard seduced…or netizen looking to triangulate my position, then fire from cover. (That’s what I get for making that crack about your brother.)

    All I’ll uncover is that your guess is the opposite of “on.” My city is so hick, and its winters so flood-plaining, that not one but two professional hockey players refused to sign here for $10 million a year. It is our province’s Houston to our province’s Dallas on almost everything but the compass. That and that I like Corona, though almost any imported beer will do.

  • Stupid Wizard

    It’s Kotaku, a quite popular gaming and anime news site. Now because someone wanted to promote her game she slept with a journalist there and many others all in name of promoting her game. Now I can never trust kotaku.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I usually sleep with people to promote stuff.

    Typically to promote them having sex with me.

    This joke doesn’t even make sense.

  • Real Quantum

    A WOTW would tear this to shreds…
    Oh MY GAAWD!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You mean like this?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Hmm.

    This has gotten me interested in what this is all about. Time to read stuff on the internet about it.

  • Stupid Wizard

    I swear on Rich Evans this bitch and those fuckers who fucked her will pay some how

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

    I’m not even into gaming, but this is crazy. I’ve already wasted an hour of my time into it. I may have a few more to go through.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That could fit into a truck?

    That thing rivals the diameter of The Large Hadron Collider at CERN.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Exactly! How does one do that?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Remove the periods.

    Google could have helped you with this one.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    I have noosa time. I’m a busy leader of the Gungins fat frog.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    Thanks by the way. As a reward you will recieve a weekend with the most esteemed Jar Jar Binks.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What’s those four green blobs on Yoda’s face representing?

    But yeah, doing some research, that’s insane.

  • My ex wife

    There you go. :)

  • Alex Lee

    You trusted Kotaku in the first place?

  • Alex Lee

    Is Depression Quest that text-based choose your own adventure? If so, I played it for a few minutes and instantly thought “show, don’t tell” and “do, don’t show.”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Just like this .

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I think so. I know little of it, actually. All I can recall is seeing some person lying down on something under a blanket looking depressed. I thought to myself, “Is this game going to be a series of images with text?” Then I told myself, “Probably.” Then left.

  • My ex wife

    So I was thinking about 2001: A Spaaaaaace Odyssey… and it hit me.

  • My ex wife

    You mean you don’t even have to remove skellington? what kind of half assed game is that?!

  • Mark Bisone

    The Rich get Richer.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    So you’re in Edmonton, eh? I actually have clients in Alberta, so I might be there to visit sometime.

    The Coronas and the Mooseheads are on me.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    Yes! Rich is the star child.

  • Mark Bisone

    Well, to be fair he was the leader of the National Socialist German Workers’ Party.

    So he was obviously pretty social, and we know he loved to party.

  • https://twitter.com/Percy_Gryce Percy Gryce

    What?

  • Ugh
  • Ugh

    I went looking in the small hope that someone involved with this would be attractive and or interesting. NERP.

  • Stupid Wizard

    For anime related stuff yes. Now I can’t trust any one not even you, Alex Lee!

  • itscalledbleach

    The Gungins? I thought they were the Gungas

  • Michael Collins

    It’s gonna be biblical!
    http://share.gifyoutube.com/XDJmo.gif

  • Thanatos2k

    After the Maury Povichan intervention he no eatsa no morea da pizza

  • Palpatine

    Glad I’m not the only one who gets that reference to Plinkett’s Episode I commentary.

  • Thanatos2k

    I got your back, Palpy. Oops, I mean Man in a Black Cloak Who is Not a Trademarked Character of Lucasfilm Limited.

  • Herostratus356

    Is it just me or does this video have a weird greenish tinge?

  • Michael Collins

    You are awakening from the Matrix..lay off the red pills!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The first rule of Fightchan is: You do not talk about 4 Club.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TwiIight0ne Muscle Hedonist

    So, apparently Disqus now notifies you whenever someone upvotes one of your comments. When I saw a red 9+ next to my name, I feared I had done something to incite a discussion about creationism, but instead Disqus has turned into Youtube now. What is this, Youtube – oh wait, I had used that joke in the sentence right before that already.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TwiIight0ne Muscle Hedonist

    This is also a good thing worth of posting here.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5vOSG6uhTY

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That made me hard. Then I thought of this song.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Wl_uQOABxg

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I wonder if they’re trying to prevent Mitchell from getting so many upvotes.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Your profile picture deserves an Ughly baby alert.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Now I know why Percy Gryce keeps his red notification bubble at 99. He knew this new Disqus change was coming and just couldn’t be bothered

  • Mark Bisone

    I read somewhere that 99% of insufferable twats thought Lady Gaga was an artistic genius.

    “People like blood sausage, too. People are morons.”

  • Stupid Wizard

    Yeah it kinda reminds me of Chris Chan’s videos with piss color everywhere

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Have an upboat friend and enjoy that annoying notification.

    xoxo

  • shizzlebizzfizz

    Seriously why is no one else talking about it? Why is Boy hood considered such a masterpiece that is second to none in the history of everything?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    At least now I get to know whenever some guest upvotes my eight-month-old comments. I always needed that information.

  • Ugh

    The new upvote trolling system.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    I have no idea of what you are talking about.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    I’m glad you know his name, hooker.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The other 4% of insufferable twats are bad at math.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    They’re making it easier for me to figure out which comments people like vs what they dislike.

    So far it seems people like it when I make jokes. It also seems no one really cares when I make jokes …

  • Meester Smeeth

    Hey, you guys should review So Above As Below or whatever because it looks rubbish or whatever or something.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Which I see you’re shamelessly abusing.

  • Meester Smeeth

    Is blood sausage the same as black pudding? Hey, I love black pudding! Fuck you!

  • Mark Bisone

    Is the black pudding the same as the green, sparkly pudding?

  • Meester Smeeth

    How far would you go to get your answers?

  • Ugh

    Just reiterating the point. Like a whatswrongwithyourfacebook poke.

  • Ugh

    Somehow, you two seem related.

  • jlplatten

    Just thought I’d point out that some of the complaints you had for Ninja Turtles sounded just like my complaints for Guardians of the Galaxy, yet you loved that movie.

    My review of GotG on metacritic:

    “You know there’s something terribly wrong when the most memorable part of the movie is the sequence after the climactic finale… yes, I’m talking about a baby dancing Groot. There was nothing about this movie that really drew me in, and it’s because the character stories were rushed so fast that you didn’t get a chance to feel anything for them. We get to see each character for a few minutes before their paths collide. So when the characters only know each other for a few days, we’re expected to believe they’ve bonded to the point where they’ll die for each other? This movie should have been an animated film for kids in my opinion. The dumbed down dialogue sure fit. I really wish they focused the story on Peter Quill, instead he felt like a side character. That’s probably because we have five heroes, four villains, and tons of side characters: Yondu and his crew, the Collector and his slave, Nova Prime and the entire Nova Corps. So many pointless characters could have been cut from this film, and the necessary time could have been given to develop Quill’s story. This would have improved the movie dramatically. Don’t get me wrong… all the characters in this movie do look really interesting, however, you can’t squeeze all their stories in a 2 hour film, otherwise it’s a mess. The directing was great, the overall story was good, the action and special effects were superb, but the characters are so shallow… the core flaw with this movie is the numerous characters that shouldn’t be in a film that’s introducing the casual viewer to a completely new universe. Keep it simple. This is not the Avengers, where each super hero already had their own individual films that established their character’s background.”

  • Michael Collins

    Trolled

    Hahahahahahaha

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Just thought I’d point out that some of the complaints you had for Ninja Turtles sounded just like my complaints for Guardians of the Galaxy, yet you loved that movie.”

    Just thought I’d point out that: tl;dr

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    If you made this, it is it amazing.

  • Mark Bisone

    Just thought I’d point out that your tl;dr was too long, and I didn’t read it.

  • jaymanxyz2

    For a while, I thought they were the same person.

  • Guest
  • Ugh

    Fill er up with teeny bopper singers who made “headlines” for getting chilly, and you have yourself a winner! I fuckin hate memey shit.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATk530jVOs Boss Nass

    I just remembered how much I love Canada. So much talent.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNyKDI9pn0Q

  • Ugh

    Holy Smeg, you don’t think that’s giant? What kind of pizza house have you been going to? The Fat-Bastard-o-ria?

  • TheSwamp

    WRONG! *

    * I haven’t seen either movie.

  • Drain

    Indeed it would have been! In fact that’s what I suspected watching it because he’s almost a damn statue in that video. But you can tell it’s really him. They need a card board cutout for Rich. That’s what you call a great prop. And it allows Rich to work even less. I don’t think he’d complain.

  • Junkie

    tl

  • My ex wife

    Why thank you Sir.

  • Ryuu

    Thank you, Mike! I have been trying to explain to people why I hate the Transformers movies but I didn’t hate TMNT. “That sort of fuzzy glow” is the closest I’ve come so far to getting words for why it’s okay for the TMNT movie to be kinda dumb but at the same time the Transformers movies are the lowest of the low for being incredibly dumb. :)

  • Old Ben

    I hated TMNT. I wanted to walk out and see Guardians again. I sat through the whole movie fantasizing about watching the ’89 movie on DVD.

  • movieoverload

    So here’s a weird thing. I actually went on a date with Zoe Quinn a while back (10-11 months). It didn’t work out and I never gave it much thought. Then I randomly clicked on that video and got sucked into the whole Quinnspiracy for hours. Holy shit, I’ve never been more grateful that date led to nothing. I really dodged a bullet on that one.

  • Stupid Wizard

    I totally believe someone on the internet with no actual evidence.

  • movieoverload

    I totally don’t give a shit what you believe. But the next time I go on a date, I’ll be sure to take a picture and get a signed affidavit that’s notarized just in case that person becomes Internet infamous. Just for you. Seriously, what is it with you people? This is the second time in 3 years I’ve posted on here and the second time I get shit for it.

  • Alex

    If they use CardboardRich™ more often, they should send Rich to Boot Camp in the meantime (and film it).
    Cut off his soda consumption. I want this guy to be around a little bit longer.

  • Drain

    I think liver failure from the alcohol consumption will do him in a lot sooner than the sodas.

  • Alex
  • Azriel24

    I….liked…the new Ninja Turtles movie. I’ll show myself out

  • http://redlettermedia.com/ WhatIsItWithRicks?

    Is that an Ian’s Pizza?

  • 24601

    I love the mea culpa. I mean “Mea” “Culpa”.

  • http://redlettermedia.com/ WhatIsItWithRicks?

    dr

  • thatsrightjay

    use spindash

  • david blane

    isn’t his name linklater, not linklatter?

  • MWohlfahrt

    oh lordy i’m three minutes in and i’m in tears this show is so funny it hurts

  • InPrivate

    About this Ice Bucket challenge, Willard Foxton said it best: “The whole thing has turned from a decent enough attempt to raise cash for a good cause into a ghastly narcissistic freakshow.” Seriously, ALL these celebrities just better be donating considering all the free publicity they’re getting.

  • cinemageddon

    Mike is in complete denial. He agrees with everyone’s points about how horrible everything is but he still sticks to liking it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    So he really IS from the future of spaaaaaaaace.

  • Wicked Child

    Hated Boyhood, liked TMNT. Mike is Armond White.

  • sonicjrjr14 .

    You know, you guys aren’t helping your cases when you bash Boyhood then give this POS a pass.

  • motoko kusanagi

    Number 13: The ending multiplication effect.

  • Sully

    It’s… it’s…

  • nat

    *hurls bra at laptop screen*

  • DanceK

    I wish they had let Peter Jackson direct this movie. The Lord of the Rings/Hobbit movies are far from perfect, but they have HEART. A nostalgia trip like this needs a bit of that.

  • DanceK

    He’s only human.
    I think.

  • DarkFluffy

    Yepp. What is the meaning of the challenge if they DON’T have to spend money? Yeah, they are really “brave” (>_>) to take a shower in ice water but the purpose was to spend money, right?

  • DarkFluffy

    Catastrophy movies are not my style. Waiting for something for 1h and just see how it destroys something is not enough for an interesting movie. That’s the reason I prefer Armageddon over Deep Impact. In Deep Impact we just wait and wait and wait. In Armageddon (as cheesy as this movie is) something else happens at least.

  • EXbob

    I hope they dont over do it with Samurai Cop 2. Movies like Samurai Cop are funny because of unintentional reasons. I hope they don’t go over the top. Something like The Deadliest Prey would be pretty neat. I think its the decision to bring in porn actresses that has me a little worried. But hey it could work and i hope it does. Its just that movi like Samurai Cop are beautiful accidents, they cant be done on purpose.

  • Ranger Boo

    Good God,I can’t believe people gave you guys so much shit over not liking Boyhood! Lord, its like you insulted an entire religion but maybe that’s what “indie” films have become, a fucking religion.

  • http://mrcab666.livejournal.com/ MRCAB

    It’s a good thing Rich was there. I had a hard time paying attention and needed something to stare at.

  • James Andersen

    “Linklater’s poetic dialogue about a boring kid mumbling . . .”

  • Joshua Roberts

    would you two hacks shut the fuck up so i can watch rich evans eat pizza?

  • http://soundcloud.com/teamdethrone The Black Batman

    Lmao thank you for your CORRECT review of boyhood

  • Bob Rosenberg

    Am I the only one who wants to see a TMNT porn parody called “Secret of the Cooze”? Directed by Ed Hunt.

  • Joe

    There are different kinds of bad, something can have low objective merit and have watchability, that’s what best of the worst is about.

    It’s more about 2 questions 1: What is the objective merit of the film? and 2: Was it enjoyable to watch? While most of their review time was dedicated to question 1 (which I like, they do very good thorough analysis) I think the question that decides whether or not to recommend the movie is almost entirely a product of question 2.

    I think Mike’s recommendation here comes from having to watch “The Amazing Spiderman 2″, that movie really just insults your intelligence in everything, and acts like you won’t notice, character motivations making no sense being a huge problem in that. This movie I think gets Mike’s approval because even though it’s stupid it’s not trying to be smart or at all trying to make you think it’s smart, it’s a dumb movie that isn’t overlong with probably a few clever action set-pieces and character motivations that (as cartoonish or 1 dimensional as they may be) actually existed. After movies like “Amazing Spiderman 2″ I can see how such a film might feel like a breath of fresh air. Mike hardly praised it, he just gave it the recommendation of calling it “watchable”.

  • Joe

    I thought that was local to Madison, WI. Anyway not sure, needs more macaroni on it for it to be Ian’s.

  • Joe

    Not sure if you are serious but in case you are:
    Yes it does, it is supposed to be from the green gas filling the room, they are either using green gobos or something on their light rig, post color adjusting to get it more green, or both. Also they slowly desaturate the colors when lingering on a silent Rich. But their slow desaturation move isn’t exclusive to this episode of HitB.

    I’m curious how many (if any) takes were ruined by Rich laughing at something they said or is he just that good at acting blank and emotionless?

  • Booger

    Hacks forgot to mention TMNT IV: Turtles in Time, great 2D beat’em up.

  • fred

    yes

  • omgnoway

    Hey Jay, is your brother Zach Cregger?

  • Brendan Paterson

    hey guys, have you checked out I Saw The Devil? shits fucking aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawesome.

  • Geahk Burchill

    I hated this take on TMNT. I was repulsed by the douchey-Bro-ness. They turned the turtles into frat boys. They made Donatello into Steve Urkel and Raphael into a steroidal psychopath. Michelangelo would be right at home hosting Girls Gone Wild or Bum Fights and Leonardo was just bland.

    Rich is right, these turtles are thugs.

  • flint

    But Mike is Hunky too.
    Chunky guys can be hunky…

  • Robert Lawson

    I know I’m a little late to the discussion, and I pretty much wrote the exact same thing in rotten tomatoes, but anyways.

    My thoughts on the TMNT movie

    SPOILERS:

    If the turtles are bullet proof, that makes The Foot pretty much useless. Which also makes me wonder, if bullets don’t hurt them then why are they so afraid of Shredders projectile blades? Are they super sharp and can somehow penetrate the turtles shells? It was never addressed… We never see it…

    Why does Splinter have a japanese accent? He was born and had grown up in New York. You could say “well, maybe they lived in china town” or whatever, but then why wouldn’t the turtles speak with an accent? You could say he got it through watching nothing but martial arts movies, but you figure all of them (Splinter and the turtles) would have mastered speech before Don mastered fixing things…. It makes ZERO SENSE. For his appearance as a martial arts master, that he could have emulated from movies…. It would still make little to no sense but you could say it.

    Next, what was the purpose of having Kurai in the movie? She done nothing, she contributed to nothing, she was less fleshed out than Tatsu (the foot’s second in command in the 1990 film), I’m not even sure if she used martial arts…..

    In the end, this movie played out like a episode of the cartoon. It played it 100% safe, which made this movie a chore to get through. You are literally never on the edge of your seat. It’s dull, and I mean dull on every single level you could think of. The action is dull, the suspense isn’t there, the drama is dull, the story is dull, and it is just a terrible film. No nostalgia needed. the 90’s movie was GREATLY better.

  • Annie

    Because it’s awful. Made by awful people. Starring Megan Fox.
    They summed it up best with the symbol bit, X was Y because it needed to be that way so they could do Z with it.

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