Half in the Bag: Independence Day: Resurgence

June 26, 2016461 Comments

Mike and Jay see the latest movie from Mike’s favorite filmmaker Roland Emmerich. The results may shock you!


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • mister man

    CONTENT!

  • Jonathan Bays

    Welcome to Erff.

  • amanda_87

    So is this the third or the fourth objectively shitty movie from the past 2 years or so that Mike loved? There was Jurassic World and X-men Apocalypse, but am I forgetting any others?

  • The Force Awakens

  • amanda_87

    Ba-dum tish!

  • Bill

    what the crap was that Randy Quaid clip O_O

  • Palpatine

    I’m still shocked Mike liked Jurassic World. And I liked Jurassic World.

  • Loafer

    Earth Space Defence? 5 minutes in and already I hate this movie.

  • mister man

    You’d think if they were paying you off to recommend the movie, they’d let you show the trailers.

  • Rather abrupt ending. I kind of expected aliens to show up looking to anal probe Plinkitt because they got too drunk, passed out, and forgot to do it before he left.

    Then you could have had the guys abducted and reviewing movies on the space craft.

  • Anyone should be able to show the trailers. The trailers are press released images for the purpose of being used for reviews and news on the project.

    Youtube is just fucked.

  • He lost his mind and claimed the government was after him. He then posted that as part of a delusional rant.

  • “Objectively”?
    Really? We are going to pretend there is some objective measure of “good”?

  • I guess they couldn’t call it “Earth Defense Force” or “X-Com”. Or something else that doesn’t sound stupid.

  • amanda_87

    I knew you’d be here eventually, Captainobviousman!

  • Tanuki Man

    Nice quiet sell on the “probing questions” line.

  • Mike sore from anal probe or butt chugging?

  • Variant

    If you want another perfect example of “Why did they take this horrible movie and remake it to be awesome?” (not saying that’s the case with this movie as I haven’t seen it), you need to check out the reboot of Roland Emmerich’s film “Universal Soldier”. It’s called “Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning”. And other than maybe going on a little long – it is the best action movie ever created. Ever. Try it. It’s not only got at least four major action set pieces that are good enough to be considered the climax of the movie (this is what I mean possibly going on a bit long), but they are the best choreographed action scenes I have ever seen. And I mean like – they were extremely well choreographed but also really believable. All I have to say is: baseball bat duel. That’s the best part. You can just look up that clip on youtube if you’re interested. And as a final note as a bonus the movie is even filmed… in a sort of artistic way. There’s some really great bits with no dialogue that are really quite absorbing. And after you watch if you will want to say “That’s the spirit, soldier!” Anyway. There’s my two cents. Roland Emmerich occasionally spawns things that occasionally spawn other pretty good things.

  • The biggest problem with this movie is that it’s all been done so much better in other movies in the last couple of years – even STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS (with the ESD), the Marvel MCU (the ESD are basically SHIELD, even accountable to the same World Security Council), the aliens look the same as the original ones but their tech is completely different – looking straight out of the Chitauri in THE AVENGERS.

    And the new alien species probe looked like TRON: LEGACY meets HEAVY METAL.

  • Yotsuba

    So we get a recommendation of someone with severe brain injuries and a “what ever” from a little boy.
    Fucking hacks.

  • I’ve hated Roland Emmerich movies but didn’t mind ID4 (remember that?) for being a dumb summer movie. I wished for a movie that simply built and explored the world it takes place in. I want to see the aliens walking around a their alien bio dome.

  • Studio Executive

    Winning the fight to keep Robert Loggia in the picture is one of my proudest accomplishments in this business. “The kids won’t see a summer blockbuster without Loggia!” I told ’em! Sadly, I didn’t have enough clout to keep Abe Vigoda’s scenes (Abe’s parts were reshot with Pat St. Esprit), but Hollywood is a land of compromises…

  • fred

    I wonder what crazy shit they will do for episode 911.

  • Asda

    Haha, epic burn my fellow 4chan dud0r! LULZ!

  • Variant

    Well that’s what I was thinking when one of them said “Why not just Earth Defense?” ….. because that would be “ED”. There’s something else called ED. And most people aren’t happy when they have it.

  • bleurgh

    Mike has a deep appreciation for cheese. ID:R is the cheesiest most ridiculous movie of the year.

  • Bob Blankenheim

    I at first thought it was a sad CGI Robert Loggia but I have confirmed though a friend that actually worked on the movie that he was in fact the real Robert Loggia. (I was actually disappointed that he wasn’t CGI)

  • Traitor!

  • Palpatine

    I thought you knew that?

  • Adzl33t

    Sigh no Finding Dory review, well time to start begging for that Laika’s Kubo movie to be reviewed

    It has George Takei, Mike can make Sulu references

    I’m glad I skipped this movie, and convinced my parents not to see it

  • UnhealthyNutter

    Is this a movie about Britain leaving the EU?.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Mike and Jay: The worlds foremost experts on schlock. If ever there is an alien schlock invasion, these guys will be the first line of defence.

  • I did and I never forget!

  • BCFC25

    Mike liked Independance day? OH MY GOD THE RUMORS ARE TRUE HE REALLY HAS BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS!

  • junkevil

    Oh…

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    We can’t give you a cat-scan, but we can give you an anal probe Mike.

    ~The results are back~

    I’m sorry, you have schlock induced braaaaaain cancer. I recommend a healthy dose of quality film making to help reduce the effects.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    Mike misused the phrase “soft reboot,” which is a surprise, because I would think these two would know what a reboot is. It’s a popular word that gets misused a lot, like “selfie.” Every picture gets called a “selfie” now, even if it’s obviously not a selfie. A reboot is very specifically a cancelling of all previous continuity. The Amazing Spider-Man and Rise of the Planet of the Apes are two examples. Two examples of soft reboots: Star Trek (2009) and The Incredible Hulk. If they recast Indiana Jones with a different actor, but all the shit from the previous films still happened according to the story with the new guy – THAT’S NOT A REBOOT. It’s a recast part. As long as it’s not resetting continuity, it’s not a reboot. The Force Awakens – a relaunch, sure, an homage, definitely. Not an effing reboot, because all the other movies still happened.

    Okay? Okay.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    Mike can’t make a quality film. He’s going to die.

  • WHAT THE H*LL IS GOING ON! UNSUB……

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Oh, it’s ok, he can just watch it.

    The Aliens stuck a probe up his ass. And it hurts.

  • Am I gonna have to watch Nostalgia Critic from now on….?

    HitB: ReConstipation, where the reviewers anal probe the audience.

  • moron

    Checkmate!

  • Adzl33t

    Jay doesn’t like Will Smith? 🙁

    Fresh Prince of Bel Aire is basically an American classic

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Where’s your toad god now?

  • This is a soft reboot. It retcons a lot of what happened in the previous movie, and the type of film is completely different – it’s not a “what if aliens came to our real world?” film anymore but a total sci-fi thing. It’s a soft reboot, like JURASSIC WORLD – it doesn’t directly ignore the previous film, but it is designed for new audiences more than old.

  • Knight_ldr

    “Independence day: Robotech!”

  • OMNI

    Weird Episode.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    In my opinion the term soft reboot is nonsense. Are the sequels for slasher movies soft reboots too? New characters are introduced, how the killer died in the previous movie gets more or less retconned every damn time. Is the many-years-long gap a factor for a movie to be considered a “soft reboot”?

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    I guess I thought that by giving examples of two actual soft reboots, I wouldn’t have to explain what they are. A soft reboot is when some of what previously happened has been changed or ignored, but the current story is still meant to exist in the same continuity as the previous. Explaining something that happened in the last movie, but not changing whether or not it happened, doesn’t make this a soft reboot. Neither this nor Jurassic World is any kind of reboot. They’re relaunches of their franchises and sequels.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    Apparently you think the term “soft reboot” is nonsense because you don’t know what it is. Please see my response to SeverenAtredies above.

  • “A soft reboot is when some of what previously happened has been changed or ignored, but the current story is still meant to exist in the same continuity as the previous.”

    That describes this movie to a T.

  • Ren1

    Just finished my email to Fox. Boy are they gonna get an earful, so to speak…

  • DudeWith GreatAdvice

    The Randy Quaid clip and the Fox censorship gave me an idea, and its something that no one has done yet. Could make you guys a ton of money!

    Why don’t you also make a hardcore porn movie review series? Each week one of you bends the other over, and you both just look into the camera as the other pumps from behind. You butt fuck and give your review. Duuuuuuuudes! You’ve already sold your souls, just take the adventure a little further.

    I don’t have a great name for it though. Half in the T-Bag? Meh. IDK. You’ll have to be creative to get all that sweet, sweet youporn money.

  • Palpatine

    I should write them an e-mail:

    “Dear 20th Century Fox,
    Why do you have to be Copyright Nazis?

    Sincerely,
    Sheev Palpatine.”

  • OMNI

    Jay just dominated this Episode! Go Jay! I also learned that RLM does listen to us! (Even though my Schlock criticism was in the Escape From New York comments).
    Bend over Mike…. 😉

  • Palpatine

    But(t) Mike already got probed.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I was horribly distracted by the not broken TV in the foreground through the whole episode.

    Did they like it?

  • Patrick Batman

    Mike actually liked this movie? Well… it’s hip to be square.

  • bhlaab

    Placing bets on “Mike’s going to like Ghostbusters”

  • Well if that’s the case we’ll have to kill him…with kindness.

  • Imperial_orb

    【MOOPIE】    -o(. ̄ )

  • Fred Frink

    Apes-a-Poppin!

  • Fred Frink

    best part is when the dog starts barking

  • Kirke

    Likes Jurassic World, Origins: Wolverine and ID: Refrigeration, doesn’t like Civil War… Mike is the Randy Quaid of RLM (Rich is Dennis Quaid and Jay is Meg Ryan).

  • Kenlin Bros

    Aaaand now the word “basically” officially has no meaning.

  • tOmy`

    Independence Day? Enough with this Brexit sh-

    Oh. There is another movie? Well count me Resurgencetted. Ish. Uhm… In.

  • tOmy`

    I vaguely remember him loving TFA.

    I vaguely remember a lot of people loving TFA.

    But I wrote it off as not being on meds these days.

  • Tapeworm

    😉

  • cucadandi

    Okay. After the Jurassic World review I was puzzled shall we say but after this I am now seriously starting to worry about Mike’s mental health. Has the alcoholism finally resulted in brain damage? Is it irreversible?

    I mean we joke about ‘fraud ratios’ going up and up all the time.
    We JOKE about it, Mike!

  • cucadandi

    Say what you will about Mike but at least he’s a sexist.

  • Kawaii as Fuck

    “Maybe you’ll thank me for THIS!”

  • tOmy`

    Well, let’s face it, we all hang around just for the inevitable orgy anyway…

  • cucadandi

    Remember that one joke Mike made in an episode way back about him buying tickets to obviously shitty movies and the ticket girl would snicker at him, the people in line would all laugh at him and this public humiliation would give Mike some sort of sick sexual pleasure?

    Well this is that joke turned real.

  • cucadandi

    Can’t spell orgy without brain damage!

  • tOmy`

    Aaaaand now the word “officially” has literally no meaning.

    Ha. We can do this all day!

  • tOmy`

    “I am sure they are wonderful guys.”

    *rewinds back to Oscar discussion*

    Hm. Integrity.

  • Daniel Lind

    Mike needs a cat scan? Why would they scan his pet?

  • cucadandi

    I know, right? That thing got fucked to death a long time ago.

  • cucadandi

    So was The Cosby Show. Was..

  • Adzl33t

    I’m sure most people dislike Bill Cosby more now

  • cucadandi

    Personally I’m on the fence.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I was about to say “You’re back!” but since I’m here so seldom I’m not sure how many other times you’ve posted recently.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Kill 2,996 people?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    TFA was the best Star Wars film of the past 10 years!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I still doubt RLM will review any animated films. Just not their cup of tea. They might see Sausage Party, though. *groans*

  • *2,996 millenials

  • Wolvy

    Randy’s dog was enthusiastic about doggy-style.

  • Adzl33t

    Are Sandler movies easier for them to watch?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I fucked a $25 hooker without a condom and now I have ESD.

  • Adzl33t

    Your such a different “snowflake”

  • cucadandi

    I can’t tell if I’m being trolled or if you actually think I’m being serious.

  • Francis Tommaso

    I want Plinkett’s shirt.

  • Adzl33t

    Sarcasm against sarcasm :p

  • Asaaaand now the word “word” has no meaningly no official.

  • I did read your previous comment in which you said:
    “A soft reboot is when some of what previously happened has been changed or ignored”
    Hank’s comment about horror sequels still holds up “how the killer died in the previous movie gets more or less retconned”.
    Retconned, meaning retroactive-continuity, is a form of changing or resetting part of the previous continuity (exactly how you define a ‘soft reboot’).
    Under your definition most horror ‘sequels’ would be ‘soft reboots’ and I would also argue they are (even if the word wasn’t around at the time they were made).
    The truth is words like this are ill-defined and pop-cutlure language is constantly evolving and changing (like all language),
    As fun as these semantic arguments might be to have it’s all going to be meanness in a few years when we’ve all stopped using the word ‘reboot’ and another equally vague and nebulas word takes it’s place.

  • Technically it’s ‘fair use’ and they are absolutely allowed to use trailers or clips for the purpose of review or education.
    But youtube is a private company that lets you host your videos on their servers for free, obviously they reserve the right to take anything down without warning.
    If you’re a company you can pay youtube to be a part of their ‘Content ID’ system and have them remove any video that uses your content in a way toy don’t like (a negative review, an ‘offensive’ song parody, etc) even if that content is completely legal.
    I’ve worked for several TV production companies and seen this process from both sides.
    Maybe RLM should think about switching to Vimeo or another hosting platform.

  • AJ

    Nah. The internet hive about Jurassic World being the go to shit flinging movie is a bigger sign of some sort of brain damage.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    To the inevitable “Mike has lost it” comments:

    This is a guy who made excuses for “Battle: Los Angeles,” compared “Jack and the Giant Bean Murderer” to Star Wars, gave a more or less passing grade to “Battleship,” and loved “The Dark Knight Rises” because it was a “loud, clunky, awesome thing.”

    Open your eyes, children. This is who he is.

    You’re all lost… because you follow blind leaders.

    Your god is false.

    9/11 was a freelance position with no 401K or AD&D.

  • AJ

    Doing a Finding Dory review after doing zero movies of that sort would mostly go like this: “We know nothing about animated Disney movies so I guess it was ok, we recommend it if thats your thing”.

  • M_

    lol

  • Robotpals

    I think I have a handle on Mike. He loves crap, but he hates shit.

  • cucadandi

    Mike’s gonna defend himself in the next episode saying people need to get the sticks outta their asses. Ironically he’s the one with a probe shoved up his ass.

  • fred

    with AIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Mike ain’t gonna defend shit.

  • fred

    “It wasn’t complete shit”

  • fred

    What the fuck do y’all think of that X-Ray shit on Amazon Video? It takes years for me to watch Pulp Fiction with all that fancy information.

  • fred

    He even convinced me to watch Gremlins 2. I bet if I wasn’t vomiting from all that spiced rum and Dr. Pepper I still would’ve thought that was the weirdest fucking moopie about stuffed puppets I’ve ever fucking seen. But he AND JAY fucking swear by it — must be their age, covering for that 80s tripe. (these people and their rubber/stuffed puppet fetish)

  • fred

    Extra Sensory Deprivation !!! OH FAAAUAUUUUK

  • Adzl33t

    Great critics review outside their comfort zones

  • cucadandi

    I feel like this is the perfect time for me to confess that I found Krampus to be a pretty mediocre and slightly dull movie. The entire time I was thinking to myself “Okay, well so far it’s still pretty average.. But Mike and Jay both loved it so I’m sure it’s gonna get great soon!” Alas, for me that time never came. Maybe their overwhelming praise made it impossible for it to live up to the hype.. Still, how about that sound design?

  • Jean-François Martel

    i trust your judgement on shlock, you pretty much watch mostly shlock for a living. You know shlock intimately.

  • fred

    They are shlock = that’s what makes them frauds.

  • cucadandi

    Mike has become a big softy in his senior years.

  • edwhitfield

    Forget a CAT scan, Mike – you need a taste enema. Or something.

  • OMNI

    Gremlins 2 is awesome.

  • Tim Hendrix

    New Video please

  • I know we like the sentiment of “They own it, so they have the right to…” but they are also the industry standard and have so much of the content and popular mindset that they boarder on having a monopoly on independent creator distribution.

    They have not taken substantive measures to insure that fair use is protected on their service and have frequently given money to companies rather than content creators because of these loopholes.

    They have also consistently failed to catch people who post whole albums of music to the site or whole movies. So their system is broken and until they fix it I will complain.

  • tim

    Wait wait, no Independence day: Regurgitation? U HACK FRAUDS!

  • Charon

    WHY DID I BUY A BOAT?

  • fred

    mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

  • fred

    What’s a jew doing running a pizzeria?

  • fred

    You’re one of those guys that bitches about slow wifi on airplanes.

  • fred

    A good proctologist comes to mind.

  • Dan

    Entertaining review, without scenes from the movie intercut through though it’s missing something, thanks a lot Fox

  • Tim Hendrix

    I say it every video as a joke, cause i enjoy their content, whats is wifi, some kinds of chineze food?

  • frankelee

    If Mike’s not getting too drunk to finish an episode of Best of the Worst, he’s enjoying shitty movies that suck on Half in the Bag. I think it’s time they put him down and sold him to the glue factory.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Yeah, he don’t give a shit what we say here anyway.

  • Ren1

    I like it.

  • Rob Peterson

    Wow…all the reviewing of super-hero films has finally broken Mike’s brain. Any movie that ISN’T a super-hero movie is “awesome” by default in his eyes.

    Also…Fox is the only corporation on Earth that refuses to learn what “Fair Use” is…they simply don’t care. But hey…these are the same morons who think “Fair And Balanced” is true.

  • Ren1

    These guys had fun talking about this movie, great episode! I shall rent Recurganence eventually I suppose.

  • Oh I agree with you.
    “They have not taken substantive measures to insure that fair use is protected on their service”
    That because there’s no money in that. When was the last time a multi-national for-profit company made a decision that wasn’t for profit? Except when they were forced too by Government regulations.
    In a perfect socialist world we’d have an online streaming site owned by the people for the people, funded through taxes where all content and users are equal but with capitalism the best we’ll get is Youtube (it could certainly be worse).

  • Graham Miller

    This is the most I’ve ever disagreed with Mike on a review. I found the movie to be completely soulless, and painfully boring. The editing was awful, it was difficult to tell where anybody was in relation to each other, or even how much time was supposed to have passed. The performances were all disinterested at best. The effects were awful, I could almost make out the green screen itself behind the actors in some scenes. The writing was like baby’s-first-screenplay. There wasn’t a single character ever developed and focused on enough to give a single shit about. And, once again, it was SO BORING!

  • Jerome Gorden

    MSNBC and Bill Maher make the same claim.

  • AJ

    ok. is that what they are?
    there are 2 types of internet critics, ones who see everything just because it’s out and dont always have much to offer, and those who don’t because they don’t have much to say about it. why would i want a review from RLM when i know way more about Disney than they do.

  • fred

    Yeah it’s pretty cool.

  • fred

    fuck you eat’n chink food for in my restaurant.

  • AJ

    is anyone gonna get tired in these comment sections of saying “schlock” at any point. oh wait never mind, saying ‘it took 12 years’ is still not played out.

  • fred

    Spring Breakers would be better without Selena Gomez and her slow inane ramblings — and some of the party scenes were pure filler, cut five-ten minutes of that out. Apart from that it’s actually pretty good.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    i like when franco gives the guns fellatio.

  • Bubs

    A tasty enema? What are you, some kind of fecal freak?

  • Ogrot

    To ferry the dead across the Acheron and the Styx?

  • Freak #1

    No mention of Goldblum being dressed exactly like Han Solo, belt-buckle and all. Also, no exploration of how hilarious the planet core thing was. This group of treasure hunters are giving us exactly 4 minutes until the core of the planet is harvested, as though that’s a possible thing to quantify. I loved that they did the “only 30 more seconds and they would have stolen the core” bit. And, I’m with Jay, the green-screen work was really really bad.

  • Bubs

    Is anyone else annoyed by the fact that they clearly read Youtube comments (AKA, comments written by the dredges of humanity), but refuse to even acknowledge that their webzone has a Disqus section at all? Press X to blow me.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    RLM knows that being self-serving corporate platform like IGN, Screen Junkie, Smosh, or Reddit keeps the lights on and the clicks coming. Why deny them “success”?

  • Bubs

    Perhaps I’m in denial, but I like to think they could be successful without getting on their knees. But maybe that’s the lie I tell myself so I can respect them.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Everyone’s got to pay the mortgage.” – Thank You For Smoking

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    I love it when people who cant admit they made a mistake start yammering about the fluidity of language. Fuck you, dipshit. A retcon is not a soft reboot. I’d explain again, but you’re like a dog with a bone.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    No, it doesn’t. Something that happened the first film was explained in the second film. That doesn’t make the second film a soft reboot, no matter how hard you want it to be.

  • Spoiled Ants

    It’s that new console from the E3, right? Congrats.

  • fred

    That was definitely one of the better moments.

  • Percy Gryce

    ‘it took 12 years’ is still not played out

    Man, “It’s gonna be great/That’s gonna be great” isn’t even played out.

  • fred

    Their patreon is at $12,294 a month. I get that a lot of that goes into the studio but still — that’s a lot of dough.

  • ikdks

    I’m pretty sure Mike got that Wolverine ended on TMI from me. I said that here.

  • Percy Gryce

    I love your passionate pedantry. You remind me of a young me–when I cared.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think they have a right to make as much money as they can and moves like this – two promotions on either side of the launch weekend, are smart. It’s tricky balancing independence and mass popularity but I think RLM can do it so long as its not too obvious (ie: Star Track & Ghostbusters re:view’s and reviews bracketing their respecting launches) and Mike’s test results come back negative.

  • fred

    I don’t believe in “rights” — I’m just stating that they’re not short on cash. Ad money is a little on the side compared to patreon.

  • CarSVernon

    he said comments, not youtube comments. people complained about what he was addressing both here and on youtube.

  • fred

    But we cud dimineesh tthe effectsh offfff it

  • fred

    fork in the brain

  • ikdks

    Jay also predicted the president thing

    Has anyody noticed that giants are in every movie this summer? This, captain america, BFD, even Star Wars, if you count the hologram.

    It’s this year’s superblood.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “What about the rights of that little girl? ”
    Edit: Appropriate ‘Dirty Harry’ youtube quote here.

  • Percy Gryce

    You made me larf out loud. Oh, we used to have fun here.

  • Percy Gryce

    Don’t forget Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun.

  • fred

    Those were the days HAHA. (goddamn you Jay…god damn you) *wishes for link to scene in broke back mountain “We could have had a good life!!”

  • fred

    Mikes brain can’t receive the same mind numbing data (he’s been jamming into his brain over the years starting with the Plinkett reviews) to function properly — so instead it assimilates to the material for him to rationalize. “I like the dumb boring blow-upiness…really I do!”

  • fred

    Why wait — go watch it Riight NOOOW you cuck.

  • ikdks

    How could they let him die, that was jive.

  • fred

    *link to “It’s Bad For Ya”

  • fred

    When do they get on their knees? And they are already Yugely successful on patreon.

  • Spoiled Ants

    I really laughed quite a bit on that cut-away joke with the Aliens doing a drinking game.
    I encourage you to do more cinematic shit (time to expand the RLMCU).

  • Spoiled Ants

    nope

  • Percy Gryce

    Yes. This.

  • Palpatine

    I’m guessing more people watch them on YouTube rather than their actual site, which is why they’d read the comments there instead.

  • Rob Peterson

    Thousands of people make the same claim. It’s the reason there’s the term called “getting Foxed” when a project gets shut down…as Fox is notorious for shutting down anything even tangentially connected to their IP.
    Whenever my own videos get a copyright notice it’s ONLY Fox that refuses to allow any “Fair Use”. Everyone else drops their copyright claim the minute they see my videos are a parody…everyone except Fox.

    They truly are a company run by angry assholes.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    But the examples you provide as soft reboots are very clearly sequels. Jurassic World is a sequel, it doesn’t directly address the events of 2 and 3, but it is a sequel. A possible soft reboot? The Incredible Hulk, to Ang Lee’s Hulk: it doesn’t contradict anything that happens in Ang Lee’s movie, it even begins with Banner in Brasil, but it also wants to distance itself with new actors, different look to the Hulk, and pretended to be a new beginning to the franchise.

    I see movies like Star Wars TFA (who is THAT not a sequel?!), or Creed, are considered reboots. Creed is weird, it’s a sequel, but also a spinoff.

    Clear soft reboots: The (pre-Daniel Craig) James Bond movies every time a new actor takes the mantle.

  • nametaken

    thought you were typing random shit.

  • CrystalClearTruth

    I wonder if Mike is intentionally mispronouncing Roland Emerich’s name or he is actually that dense that it should be Roe-land with a long ‘o’ sound. Also, I think he’s getting “schlock” and “schlong” mixed up constantly.

  • stryker1121

    A hearty fuck you for that Randy Quaid clip, sirs.

  • fred

    That’s a lot of people for Rich Evans to rape.

  • fred

    2 companies that are equally full of shit.

  • fred

    Nostalgia Critic is ALWAYS right on the money BABIeeeeee

  • R.I.P. Bud Spencer AND COULD GRADUATIONS ANTON YELTCHIN, YOU WON A NEW CAR! Somebody please call Anton and inform him. Ooooooooh………………….

    #toosoon

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Seriously, dude, it’s 2016. Get a new checkbox complaint besides “Fox News says they’re FAIR and BALANCED!”

    Maybe complain about your Cocoa Puffs not actually being part of a “balanced and nutritious breakfast”? Or maybe bitch a bit bout those airline peanuts?

    Fuck’s sake, millenial fucking leftists.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Making an all-female remake is sexism. Calling it stupid is just common sense.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You did/didn’t hate a movie I didn’t/did hate! UNSUBSCRIBE!!!!!

  • frankelee

    My Fox brand Equal Arm Beam Scale has left me mildly disappointed.

  • Jerome Gorden

    More like rich assholes. But that’s true for all companies. Hollywood is run by rich assholes, which is why we’re getting so many shitty movies.

  • Rob Peterson

    Hey Frank, eat a dick. The point is the entire 21st Century Fox corporation is a monolithic shitpile run by douchebags. They also run Fox Sports…which sucks balls.

    Maybe complain about that…fucking rightwing butthurt FoxNews lovers.

  • Your definition, once again:

    “A soft reboot is when some of what previously happened has been changed or ignored, but the current story is still meant to exist in the same continuity as the previous.”

    In ID4, the aliens are an entire civilisation moving from planet to planet as locusts, stealing resources and then moving on. Like some fear we will. Like the aliens in V.

    In ID:R, they are one ship of many, harvesting the Earth’s core for fuel for their spaceships (to go where? to do what?).

    You’re completely wrong. This is a soft reboot because it’s a fresh start for the franchise, ignoring chunks of the previous movie’s continuity but with plenty of nods for the old fans, and giving a hot young cast for the kids to relate to. It may not do any of this as well as JJ Abram’s STAR TREK did, but that doesn’t mean it’s not trying.

  • josef2012

    it’s all about dat 0:51 tho’

  • Adzl33t

    So are you implying Mike is an expert on Sandler, his reviews are very substantial despite only watch a handful of Sandler movies

  • Ren1

    Been enjoying my 70’s dystopian/sci fi movies too much lately, no room in the tank!

  • Malevolence

    Aliens would just make a biological weapon targeting our dna and drop it into the atmosphere

  • moron

    comment redacted

  • Jeffrey Heesch

    Ooooooh, I am the last of the giants,
    my people are gone from the earth.
    The last of the great mountain giants,
    who ruled all the world at my birth.
    Oh the smallfolk have stolen my forests,
    they’ve stolen my rivers and hills.
    And the’ve built a great wall through my valleys,
    and fished all the fish from my rills.
    In stone halls they burn their great fires,
    in stone halls they forge their sharp spears.
    Whilst I walk alone in the mountains,
    with no true companion but tears.
    They hunt me with dogs in the daylight,
    they hunt me with torches by night.
    For these men who are small can never stand tall,
    whilst giants still walk in the light.
    Oooooooh, I am the LAST of the giants,
    so learn well the words of my song.
    For when I am gone the singing will fade,
    and the silence shall last long and long.

  • tOmy`

    Stop giving them ideas!

  • tOmy`

    Veep Season 5 (HBO)

    Despite Iannucci’s departure from the show, Veep continues to be a stellar political satire with one of the (or maybe the) best ensemble of characters currently occupying the TV screens. The Thick of It writers, now with David Mandel in the lead, are doing their goddamn best to navigate HBO’s flagship through barrage of jokes, punchlines and one-liners, to continuously deliver the satisfying comedy we love for these past 5 years. Emmys are (yet again) in order for basically everyone in the whiffing distance of this show, but that’s a given now. So what is not?

    Well, this season saw some dramatic changes within screentimes of certain characters, while bringing spotlight to some of those who were on the sidelines in the past. Show also tackled an unheard of legal situation that could very much occur during real elections and a lot of actual political insight and knowledge helped to elevate this plot-twist into a full-blown, season spanning driving theme. Veep’s team also devoted a lot of time to creating fake websites for campaigns, fake trailers for fake documentaries and even a complex blog that is so good that lot of its content became a running joke within the fanbase. And as with the last season, episode nine yet again saw a dramatic change of style and storytelling to bring out some of the biggest laughs of the year.

    However, two things that seem to be an issue in the wake of Armando’s goodbye: The profanity does need a little bit more of a direction and there was one particular episode that felt soooo sitcomy that it wouldn’t happen on Armando’s watch.

    But most notably, with its finale Veep yet again reinvented itself and after bringing one of its darkest episodes in the first half, its finish is still to some degree shocking, depressing and absolutely unexpected. For anyone who watches this show, there is a whole interview with Mandel about this particular twist over at the AVClub.

    Good job, team Veep! Can’t wait for the next year.

    Random score generator: 9/10

  • Good job
    Solid conversation skills.
    10/10.

  • tOmy`

    1234 5678! AMIRITE BOYS?!

  • tOmy`

    I am kinda tired of people saying the word “movie” all the time.

    Before the Great Banning and No Links Era, this was perfectly fine music blog.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    I didn’t say Jurassic World is a reboot. The Incredible Hulk is a soft reboot because it rewrites the entire origin.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    Thanks! Enjoy waiting for death!

  • Tim Hendrix

    Ok..?

  • OMNI

    So, there’s been some talk about Q Tarantino here as of late so I decided to watch “From Dusk Till Dawn” last night. I’ll say that there are many personal reasons to love this movie, too bad those reasons weren’t enough. I found myself annoyed at the situations and the interaction between the characters and it just plain fell flat whenever it should have exploded with awesomeness. I blame the director.

  • OMNI

    Don’t have cable, but right on.

  • tOmy`

    (Just in case NSA is watching, I shall pretend that I do)

  • fred

    GOddamn you

  • fred

    RR is a little overrated. Planet Terror is (mostly) great, some parts in Dusk Til Dawn are amusing. Besides that I think his style is a little too hammy — Sin City was better as a graphic novel.

  • OMNI

    I thought Sin City was good. So do you think there was some “creative differences” happening on set between Rodriquez and Tarantino?

  • fred

    Probably. Rodriquez is hit and miss too me. He and QT did great with Grindhouse and then he went and made a feature length version of the Machete trailer — which I haven’t seen but …my guess is it’s unnecessary at best. I don’t know, I haven’t looked into it.

  • fred

    So what would the aliens want that they couldn’t get anywhere else? Energy? Food? They’re not smart enough to care for their own planet? Wouldn’t they simply ignore the human species (blending in to all the other animals) and get what they want anyways. Why would they hover over some shit town just to pew-pew lazers. Sometimes you notice an anthill but you usually keep on doing what you’re doing after half a second.

  • fred

    Mike’s vocabulary: Love = it wasn’t complete shit, but it had some shlock

  • Now I Get It

    Mike’s jade them sakes meem bearder.

  • Ren1

    Im certain I suffer from a case of the nostalgia-goggles when it comes to that movie.

  • Now I Get It

    The only thing you missed is that it’s okay to upvote your own comments now, after Disqus’ “correction” erased hundreds of upvotes from each user’s profile months back.

    Do that and the Disqus algorithm will kick in, eventually, to restore what you lost. Like, if you upvote your comment above, you’ll probably get back one of my old upvotes on the same comment, because I used to upvote you all the time when you were here more and Disqus knows that in their records.

    But you have to upvote yourself a lot, to show that you’re sincere. So, you should start now because I was watching and I think you got robbed the most.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Right, unlike altruistic NBC, NPR, ABC, CBS, GE, Sony, etc.

    And I would eat a dick, but I called the dick store, and they said you crammed their entire supply up your ass.

  • luvs2pwge

    Veep is 4 nerds

  • Now I Get It

    Just review Quatermass and the Pit (aka Five Million Years to Earth) already, before the Novemcalypse comes and closes all the video stores (aka YouTubes).

  • OMNI

    That is a genuinely creepy movie. I love Quatermass…

  • I imagine that the Earth would be severely screwed up after the aliens had drilled that deep into the planet. Yet there seemed to be no negative consequences.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Does a target demographic exist for a “Legend of Tarzan” film? Because I can’t think of one.

    And I’m not counting the 30 or so remaining True Blood fans.

  • Andy James

    “In a perfect socialist world we’d have an online streaming site owned by the people for the people, funded through taxes where all content and users are equal…”

    Is this serious?

  • Now I Get It

    Truly. Quatermass was a thing.

  • StepLo

    Bud Spencer died!? F***. RIP Bambino

  • OMNI

    It looks horrible, and yes ages 40-90,

  • tOmy`

    Nah, I am not gonna rest till I am gonna do this.

    I know I have been one of the dickwads who were transforming this comment zone into a conversation place about culture and that’s something Trump doesn’t want, but allow me this little indulgence into the world of music:

    If you like rock (and I do mean the old, good, nice, warm and fucked up rock), do yourself a favor and listen to Car Seat Headreast’s Teens of Denial. It’s an indie band that after many years of activity transcended the “usual” and became… well, possibly classic. If you like music, you owe this album to yourself.

    Or Radiohead.

    Or Justified.

  • tOmy`

    There was a link attached to this comment, but as per usual, we are just left with red-lettered big fuck you from corporate masters; you know, like poetry. It rhymes.

  • tOmy`

    I read the fun you are referring to.

    You are right.

  • ikdks

    So are we all in agreement that Will Smith refused to do this movie because he wanted Jaden to play his son, and the studio would rather cast a spider monkey in a wig than that grim pretentious weirdo?

  • cucadandi

    Independence Day: Rehashification!

  • fred

    No surprise, Green Room is great.

  • fred

    No exclamation marks — that’s too pulpy. You need clean exact letters, something a graphic design artist would come up with.
    Independence Day: Reiteration

  • cucadandi

    Point taken, thanks!

  • cucadandi

    Tell somebody who gives a shit.

  • fred

    Still could’ve been better though, as they didn’t exhaust all their options…but a solid film nonetheless.

  • fred

    oh — i get it now. I hadn’t finished the moopie.

  • OMNI

    I just accept Mike for the Loon that he is. I agree with him exactly 50% of the time.

  • OMNI

    tOmy. Are you a DJ? because you should be.
    #LifeDirections
    Oh yeah and I love people who don’t capitalize the first letter of their name ( for real).
    I’m an Artist and is sign my works with a lowercase first letter.

  • OMNI

    Thanks for spoiling that for me… 😉

  • Percy Gryce

    NIGI, forgive me, but I’ve just been through another kidney-stone bout–renal colic, surgery, stenting, recovery, etc.–during what was supposed to be my vacation, which in fact became an anti-vacation.

    Could I claim the convalescent’s privilege and ask for a translation?

  • OMNI

    So in essence what you are saying is the aliens are….US!

  • fred

    oh my gooooooooood

  • Rob Peterson

    It’s clear you are indeed a fucking moron.

    Get it through your thick skull: We are not talking about mainstream media/news organizations. We’re talking about 21st Century Fox corporation that owns 20th Century Fox, Fox News, Fox Sports, FX Networks, Blue Sky Studios and the National Geographic Channel. We’re talking about “Fox” that doesn’t give a flying fuck about “Fair Use”.

    You, instead of talking about Fair Use, are arguing something utterly fucking stupid. And you’re too fucking stupid to realize you’re arguing something utterly fucking stupid and you don’t know how to stop yourself.

    Give it up Jizzjoy.

  • Spoiled Ants

    The minute Mike said he loved this movie and Jay looking into the camera, I knew Mike’s transformation into Andre3000 from that Key & Peele sketch is inevitable.

  • tOmy`

    That is possibly the only movie of the year I am dying to see.

  • tOmy`

    Well, just like the backtick behind my name, the small first letter comes from your classic trends of gaming nicknames. When I was setting up Disgust account, I didn’t give it a single though and just used my gaming nick.

  • I’m of course half-joking.
    It’s a nice fantasy but would never work in practice, I was just brining up what the antithesis of capitalist Youtube would be for the sake of contrast.
    Of course in a truly perfect, socialist world you wouldn’t need to worry about copyright at all.
    All films would be funded by the people for the people. Every pitch would be published online and the public could vote on which gets made, they’re funded through taxes and released copyright free in the public domain for all to enjoy.
    Sounds great until you realise if you leave it up to the public to decide the only films that would get made would be about Transformers or Adam Sandler.

  • Now I Get It

    It’s a callback to our lost fun circa HitB #60. I said that thing, then you replied “Vodka Gimlets before noon?” then I said something like “Hey, it’s last call somewhere.” (I’d link you to it, but, you know.)

    I’m sorry for your misery. My surgical news was no news at all. The swelling under my tongue last December was caused by a mere calcified saliva duct. In other words, no pus, no drainage, no intervention.

    But also no way, now, to know which of us has the bigger stones. Bdum-tshhhh.

    P.S. And as long as we’re clocking our time here, that was the 250th reply you’ve sent my way.

  • bleurgh

    It’s been about a week since I watched the movie so I feel like I have a clearer impression of it now. It’s a masterpiece of world-building and production design, but a fucking nightmare of a story. I agree with Jays assessment that it felt very much like a film written by five different writers. It seemed like Liam Hemsworths character was going to be the protagonist of the film, but in spite of the movie setting him up well in the beginning he just kind of vanishes halfway through and is never seen again. I guess he wasn’t in the script written by the writer who wrote the ending. Fortunately the movie zips along at an almost nauseating pace so it doesn’t give you any time to question the contrivances and plot-holes. The movie makes really good use of Goldblum who has become much funnier since the 90s, but I have absolutely no idea what his character actually does. In fact you can say that for a lot of the characters. Everything happens so damn fast that none of them are given a chance to really make any choices or have any meaningful interactions or move the plot, they just kind of react to things. It felt a lot like Fury Road in this way, but done poorly. At least Miller had the sense to provide a few minutes respite from the action here and there. Once the spaceship lands it’s basically an endless onslaught of stuff happening. There’s a female president who is kind of badass, but she never really does anything and then gets given the indignity of an off-screen death. The original president from the first movie returns suffering severe PTSD verging on psychosis, which seems like it might actually be a psychic connection with the aliens, which was a really interesting way to go, but nothing really happens with it. I honestly feel like it would have worked way better as a ten part sci-fi series on netflix or something like that. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how it was originally conceived. It’s fun, but there were too many characters, too many subplots and there was too little time to service them all properly. The movie needed a script editor to trim some of the fat. That being said though, none of the characters or subplots were particularly terrible, even the ones that were ridiculous were ridiculous in a fun way. At one point the alien queen is chasing a school bus full of kids over a salt flat in area 51 whilst jet fighters are shooting at it and that’s so fucking absurd that it’s impossible not to enjoy it. I give it a blockbuster B- which is the same grade I gave Jurassic World. In other words it set out to be a ridiculous, entertaining, spectacle driven popcorn movie and basically succeeded without producing any unlikeable characters or devolving into incoherence.

  • bleurgh

    100 percent that is what happened.

  • Domo

    Make paragraphs great again!

    Although I did read what you wrote. Maybe if this film did a crossover with “Your Highness,” Natalie Portman’s body double would save the world somehow. Who needs advanced technology when you’ve got beautiful maidens and knights as high as a kite trying to save the world from aliens?

    Make it happen, Hollywood!

  • Agreed that this film would’ve been much better served serialized on television/Netflix.

  • Hannibal Barca

    I need another BotW fix.

  • LameSame

    I’m going to come out of the closet, here. I’m a big PreRec fan. I’m sorry, guys. I want another PreRec soon. I really came to love that show. I ❤ Jack & Rich. They may be my preferred duo at this point. God… what have I become? WHAT AM I?!

  • LameSame

    Would it, though? I feel like the big screen makes the effects-driven spectacle side of it worth anyone’s time. Seeing it on a small screen, you’re just watching… normal crap!

  • What’s BFD? I have one in my pants but not sure what movie it could be?

  • RLMkeepitup

    they’re live on twitch now, with Jay and Collin from Canada.

  • LameSame

    I’ve never caught one of these live! Great. Thanks. Who’s the lady? That’s not Jesse, is it? Of course it isn’t. Is it?

  • RLMkeepitup

    It sounded like Rich’s fiance, Karen?, she’s into them videogamz too. Usually its Rich n’ Jack.

  • LameSame

    RICH HAS A FIANCE??????

  • RLMkeepitup

    yes. many lives have been saved byrepeating these simple words before you sleep each night: Rich got laid, so can I…

  • RLMkeepitup

    schlockpocalypse, would never pay to watch. $5 bin soon, not much wow

  • LameSame

    I’m going to need to practice this, because I can’t get passed “Rich got laid–” without having a seizure.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    What are you? A Pre-Rexual, perhaps?

  • LameSame

    Pre-Recurious, maybe?

  • bleurgh

    I improved it.

  • They hate us with a passion. Maybe that is why I keep pressing the donate button. It’s a dysfunctional abusive relationship.

  • BUT! We never violated the community guidelines.

  • OMNI

    Watched the directors cut of Legend last night. The movie brings schlock (and cheese) to a whole new level. I almost didn’t make it past the first 20 minutes, but I’m glad I did. Very entertaining movie and Tom Cruise is young enough (and green enough) for me to be able to tolerate him.
    I still think he’s the weakest casting choice, but of course he was chosen because of the success of Risky Business.
    Tim Curry deserves a lifetime achievement award for the role of Darkness.

  • tOmy`

    The Last Panthers (Canal+, 6 episodes long miniseries)

    If you don’t know the history of Pink Panthers, I suggest looking it up. This multinational criminal organisation elevated the word “heist” to an artistic level. When they weren’t busy dressing up as women, smashing Audis through windows or breaking out their friends from prisons in the most spectacular ways, they were dressed in Hawaiian t-shirts during diamond robberies, because they figured out that once your escape plan includes a goddamn speedboat, you might as well dress up to the occasion. And now the history of this retired menace serves as an inspiration for this show.

    But make no mistake, this show ain’t no flamboyant Ocean’s Eleven. The Last Panthers, “multilingual anti-heist miniseries”, is nothing but gritty and realistic crime thriller. The story picks up with a heist gone wrong that left a six year old girl dead. We follow stories of robbers responsible, young French detective investigating the gun angle, insurance agent hunting down missing diamonds and the criminal underground involved in politics.

    From Bulgaria, Serbia and Hungary, to German autobahn and Marseilles’s ghettos, the depressive cinematography paints a picture of an urban decay, while thumping soundtrack elevates the tension just like in True Detective. There is no happy place, especially when the flashbacks connecting the mystery of our character’s shared past take us back to 1995 and the end of Bosnian War.

    Sure, even for a re-imagination of the heist cinema, The Last Panthers do utilize some of the classic tropes; thankfully, none of them offensively stupid. There is no vodka-guzzling Boris, the troubled detective isn’t an alcoholic sitting in a dark jazz bars and when in France, nobody shoves Eiffel Tower so far up your ass that your eyes become the observatory. More importantly, most of these tropes do pay off, sometimes in unexpected ways.

    All little flaws aside, these 6 hours are worth your time; the flow is great, every scene counts and there is a lot of moments to remember. US viewers might get distracted a bit by unfamiliar settings and comments about European history, but it’s nothing show-breaking. Subtitles, however, are a bitch to find and if you ain’t fluent in 6 different languages, it is pointless to watch without them.

    Random score generator: 8.5/10

  • Robotpals

    I like it too. It jimmies my jams.

  • cucadandi

    You’re certain you’re not mistaking “Rich got laid” with “Rich got laid off”?

  • fred

    Disturbia is a good moopie I like it.

  • fred

    I see ways in which it could have been better (meaning it’s not a masterpiece) but it’s still probably one of the best films of the year. And the violence is really — violent.

  • fred

    That is a running theory (one that Joe Rogan mentioned in a 4 hr podcast with Sam Harris), Aliens are humans/ or like humans that reached the Singularity before us.

  • OMNI

    Ahh, back when Spielberg had his little darling Shia LeBeuf. Things have changed a lot since that movie came out.

  • fred

    I checked to see if Spielberg was involved in this one (which he wasn’t). This seems a little too fun and interesting for 21st century Spielberg.

  • fred

    5$ bin 4 moopies for 1 disc

  • fred

    I’ve always liked pre-rec. They’re not as good as hitb — so what? Their streams are great (until recently when Jack made that god awful overlay). It’s the hate train all the fanboys like to jerk off too.

  • fred

    Not in MY bathroom !!

  • ikdks

    Just watch Rear Window. Much less pedophilia.

  • Miguel Angel Teran Mendez

    dude, there are so many sarcasm sub-levels within that guy that your head will just explode!

  • OMNI

    I just think we’re alien to this planet. We don’t exactly fit in here.

  • Charon

    That boat…costs more than mere mortal currency to own.

  • Charon

    Whoops, I thought you were talking about “Legend”, the 2016 Tom Hardy mobster vehicle where TH plays his own semi-handicapped mobster brother.

  • OMNI

    Nope. I was talking about the biggest budget schlock fest of the century.

  • Mike is consistently losing any credibility he has left. Jurassic World, TMNT, now this. Get help, please!

  • fred

    You getting that from Louie CK aren’t u.

  • Gobshite

    I agree with Mike. After having just pirated this turdfest, I concur that he does indeed need his head examined for liking it. My God, that was horrific viewing.

  • fred

    7 minutes in and The Witch is already really scary — oh black baby jesus why have you forsaken me?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “Mike, hate something!”

    – some guy

  • OMNI

    Something is strange, but oh well. I think he’s just being super sarcastic. He’s going for an Andy Kaufman type mind twister…?

  • James Ridge

    There’s no way that a guy who does, like, 9 hours of evisceration on the multitudinous failures of the SW prequels – which could practically be a filmschool primer unto themselves – can actually stomach this movie in any way unless he’s just completely given up or playing a role to keep the show interesting. It’s not a good show if everyone just agrees with everyone else all the time. I think. Is the reasoning. Maybe. Anyway, shitpile.

  • OMNI

    I just posted a similar sentiment

  • fred

    Jay tends to have much lower standards than I do for films, and even he has consistently better judgment than Mike. I think it’s Marvel fatigue.

  • OMNI

    Ok. At this point we need Jay to do “Long Cuts” with Mike just making his absurd reviews in 10 second cuts interspersed with Jay making sense about movies. Eventually Mikes wardrobe will consist of a jock strap and a party hat, and a bottle of booze of course…

  • Som

    Wondering will ye revisit your review of Batman V Superman as the directors cut so different from the theatrical release

  • LameSame

    Sounds like a job for Inspector Clouseau!

    I’m very sorry, I have maturity issues. This sounds pretty great.

  • tOmy`

    It’s all fine, they were primarily diamond robbers and their organisation was called Panthers. Press gave them this nickname and they loved it, so they kept it.

    So you weren’t that off!

  • James Ridge

    Then again, would YOU want to be doing a film review show in 2016, knowing that about 80% of the reviews could just be pre-recorded snippets of you saying, “Piece of shit.”?

  • RLMkeepitup

    my reaction when he started liking on this new movie, after the previous video bashed the first.. (link awaiting Mike approval)

  • OMNI

    Just call it intuition…

  • fred

    They should be FORCED to watch it all over again.

  • tOmy`

    I am sorry, mods, that my reviews of current TV shows were too much to handle.

    I’ll try to keep it to simple insults and moaning about Mike for now on.

  • OMNI

    My interest is growing.

  • fred

    I didn’t know this site had mods, just the overlord Jay. creepy

  • Spoiled Ants

    Actually, that’s a good point. I don’t mind that I disagre with Mike 80-90% of the time. I just have the feeling the reviews are funnier when both hacks hate the movie and pick it apart. #boyhood12yearsneverforget

    Everytime Mike disagrees with Jay I think “ok, here it comes, the gloves are off”, but their discussion ends up really tame and boring, it ain’t Ebert & Siskel arguing about a movie.
    I admit Jay is too much of a nice guy to do that, that’s why I like it when Rich joins the review, it creates a more interesting dynamic.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    It’s clear you have blinders on. GE owns NBC, and numerous staff members at NBC, CBS, ABC, and NPR have direct relatives working for the current administration. You’re blind to the real problem because 15 years ago Jon Stewart told you “hate Fox!” and like every independent-thinking left-winger in the world you did as you were told.

  • goodmatt 10

    How was “Legend” schlock?

  • Doug_101

    Oh Mike, no………..

  • Spoiled Ants

    Saw Neon Demon a couple of days ago. And as a Refn admirer I can say with confidence that it was the worst movie I watched this year.
    And no, I haven’t seen Batman V AIDS or X-Men Schlockalypse and I don’t intend to.

  • LameSame

    You can’t write too much, it would seem, or stupid people will be scared away.

  • Fred Frink

    “The first 8min of BEVERLY HILLS COP has better action than 99.9% of all superhero films. Truck smash.”

    I watched Batman vs Superman. 2.5 hours of bombastic inconsequential CGI physics that just leave you bored and apathetic. Marvel whatever, its all total & utter shit.

  • Fred Frink

    fuck all yall. its crap. over 3 hours of nonsense. the sentimentality is woeful. The action is worse. it means nothing. OH LOOK somomne was hurled at 100000 miles an hour into a wall. oh it doesnt matter at all. wasnt that great. good job. great work heres a cigar.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    God damn seman tics!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    How have you figured all this out?

    On a similar note, when I retire, I’m hoping to cash in my upvotes for real dollars.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Aha. I’m not defending them so much as just explaining their tastes and preferences. You can hope all you want but I don’t see them reviewing a family-friendly animated film anytime soon, i.e. never.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    NOW we’re talking!

  • Adzl33t

    They can make a review out of a tree stand saftey video, it can be that hard for them to review an animated movie

  • Thanatos

    Jay has consistent standards for things, Mike doesn’t. For example, Mike has very high standards for anything related to Star Wars and Star Trek, hence his disgust at the Prequels and all Star Trek movies. He couldn’t give a shit about Independence Day, hence this review.

  • Michael Collins

    They should do a re-view of Watchmen, I personally thought it was great, but I’d love to hear their whingey whiny deconstruction of it, so I could get mad at them.

  • LiverKick

    This review turned out to be even worse than the movie. I expected movie to be dumb but funny at least. But it turned out to be dumb, terrible and boring… But, RLM reviews of terrible movies are fun, so, at least, we’ll get that out of this sh!t…. NOPE.

  • Som

    shhhhhhhhhh, relax

  • Joe Syxpac

    I don’t go to YouTube anymore. It’s been taken over by assholes.

  • Joe Syxpac

    BvS is appalling in it’s awfulness. It’s fascinatingly bad and it’s kinda worth seeing just for that. It’s step by step how not to make a superhero movie.

  • Joe

    2 Things:
    1. If you don’t get why ID1 is schlock watch the guard’s response to Brent Spiner’s “Release me” in that movie. He is completely oblivious to the danger of the situation and he is supposed to be like the president’s top guard.
    2. You didn’t mention the best shot of the movie which is a shot of Paris where literally everything is destroyed except for the landmark (the Eiffel tower).

  • Joe

    I’m worried that all the drinking has done him in.

  • Joe

    It’s the standards he imposes going into these films I think.

    I kinda liked TMNT but only because I was expecting the worst thing ever.

    Also, he’s not a sellout, he’s a hackfraud, please get it right.

  • Joe

    I agree almost entirely but would change it to C+. I just feel like B- is endorsing it too much. It’s exactly “lazy hollywood sequel that hits it’s lazy marks” like Jurassic World was. What hurts JW more is that JP is one of my favorite movies of all time, at least IDR didn’t have that going against it.

    The thing I think really hurt this movie was the soundtrack/composer. The first movie did a great job just saying “this part is awesome” this movie the orchestration was like “this part is meh” for the whole film.

  • Joe

    That movie is a good test of if you can separate text from subtext. I loved that movie.

  • Joe

    Nothing is played out, it all remains Juicy Shaq meat.

  • Joe

    You forgot how the score for the film lacked emotional punch which the first one had tons of.

  • Now I Get It

    I never know what’s going on, but I always know what’s coming.

    Founding new country soon. Retire in liesure. Invest upvotes now.

  • tOmy`

    Preach it, bro.

  • Robotpals

    Aside from a few missteps (Ozy should be beautiful and heroic, not simplistically scrawny and sinister; use of hyper time for the fights), I agree, pretty great.

  • OMNI

    Gitter, wind machines, terrible design, but it’s all so good. Also the entire movies isn’t schlock, just most of it.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Jay is right about how people will vehemently defend the first film. I’ve experienced this first hand over the last couple of weeks.

    Everyone loved it as children, and years later they’ve now re-purposed that love as “It’s just a dumb, fun schlock movie! Loosen up! I mean I don’t REALLY think it’s great!”

    But you do. You do think it’s great.

    Own it, and get your insecurities about the shit you like outta my wrinkled face.

    *Watches ‘The Force Awakens.'”

  • OMNI

    Sorry that was Glitter. Oh yeah the use of contact lenses actually hurt my eyes. Wobbly unicorn horns are another schlocky thing.

  • OMNI

    Mike really doesn’t know the definition of schlock. Schlock just means poorly done in Yiddish…Oy Vey people are dumb

  • goodmatt 10

    I’m curious how you define schlock then. You do know this was a kids fantasy movie right?

  • OMNI

    It’s NOT a kids fantasy. It’s an adult fairytale. The definition of Schlock: Poorly done, low-grade.

  • OMNI

    We need to count how many times the word Schlock is typed into this comment section.

  • tOmy`

    Can somebody please translate the back of the SOS box explain to me what the word schlock means?

  • OMNI

    Schlock means sub-par, poorly done in Yiddish.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “Aids” too.

  • OMNI

    and 9/11

  • OMNI

    Word of the month: SCHLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I guarantee they’ve both been typed more than “PreRec.”

  • Palpatine

    24 times.

  • OMNI

    Thanks Palpy

  • NicCagesHair

    Did you guys know there is a new Ghostbusters movie coming out? Apparently it is starring Flo from Progessive, the Aflac Duck, Kobe Bryant(brought to you by Nike), and a Chevy Volt.

  • OMNI

    What’s a “Ghost Buster”?

  • NicCagesHair

    One who busts on ghosts?

  • NicCagesHair

    People who want to see Christoph Waltz be wasted in a bad movie, yet a role he seems perfect for?

  • NicCagesHair

    I loved the second half of that movie. When it basically turns into a gang movie with Franco and Gucci Mane(I think?) arguing in the strip club, it’s great.

  • CarSVernon

    Why is HITB so weird lately? Up until this year, they reviewed some smarter movies in between giving almost all their attention to the shitty ones, but now the last few months theyve completely ignored virtually all the better-reviewed movies and only covered the crap, and “schlock” is now every other word out of Mike’s mouth. The people who have started watching them from like 2 months ago have a very skewed view of what these reviews were like, but thats entirely Mike’s fault. Having said that, Jay loved Neon Demon, so lets not leave him out of the shitlist.

  • fred

    It should’ve been about him, with the Disney girls as side characters.

  • fred

    It’s a lot of repetitive dialogue with no real meaning — mostly filler.

  • OMNI

    Things started getting weird around here when Max Landis showed up.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Oh dear lord, I forgot he was in it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    there’s a papa johns ad as well, barf

  • CarSVernon

    not really.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    they stopped giving a fuck about the quality of HiTB. cover any movie,don’t be funny or insightful in any way and still get all the money and views as before.

    we’re in the money.mp4

  • Graham Miller

    Very true, there are just so many things wrong with this movie that it’s hard to remember all the specifics

  • CarSVernon

    they probably mean kitsch

  • goodmatt 10

    You think “Legend” was aimed at adults? Further I fail to see how glitter in a child’s fairy tale film = poorly done or low grade.

    I don’t doubt there are people who dislike “Legend”, but of everyone I know who’s watched it I’ve never heard it described as a movie for adults nor has it been called poorly done, maybe watching the “making of”, it’s hardly low grade.

  • OMNI

    Well maybe not but that’s when I notice things turning “funny” with Mike.

  • They are becoming a tired incarnation of the Pixel Adam Sandler type.

  • It’s a combination of Aids and window jumping 9/11 victims. #HILARIOUS

  • Cakefarts

    Hated it. Monkeys looked fake.

  • ikdks

    We all know what changed. We’re just not allowed to talk about it.

  • ikdks

    Stop putting your face in the commercials. Nobody likes you!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Kitsch is more like garish. Both terms (“kitsch” and “schlock”) are similar in the way that people like them ironically.

  • LameSame

    Je-uh, yeah. It’s a sad thing.

  • ikdks

    It’s like that next gen where people are disappearing and nobody acknowledges it.

  • ‘Remember Me’ S04E05

  • CarSVernon

    i dont.

  • Guy Mann

    Jon Waters made kitsch. Ed Wood made schlock.

  • junkevil

    Max touched his heart in a special way. Also, his penis.

  • RLMkeepitup

    now I want to see this all the sudden

  • “This is the bestest movie”

    -M. Night Stoklasa

  • Alex Lee

    Yep, and I think it and a less charismatic cast is the reason why Resurgence pales in comparison to the original, even though the original the same, basic movie.

  • Alex Lee

    Maybe, but the not-Will Smith’s son basically was Jaden Smith anyways.

  • OMNI

    They’re both wonderful.

  • LameSame

    Next, Rich Evans will stop showing up and they won’t say a thing. Then they’ll delete any comments asking why. IT’S A CONSPIRACY, I TELL YA.

  • LameSame

    You know: Mike has some weird tastes in film, sure. But we all do. These “jumping the shark” jokes are out of hand. He’s always had weird taste. More than that, the man sticks by his convictions. “Selling out” would entail pandering to all of you (dumb/fat/skinny) fucks. This is no new development as he’s always had specific – and often unpopular – opinions. What’s changed? Has he become jaded, or have you?

    I feel rather icky from a lot of the reaction in this section. It informs me as to why people can grow so bitter over their fans. It would seem any thoughts in opposition to the fandom Borg-mind is villainy. It makes me rather sad that adults can react this way. HitB is the best review show going, and RLM as a whole is always consistently entertaining while upholding a natural integrity. Popular opinion is never, by default, the right opinion– it’s a trend. Also, I just farted.

  • LameSame

    But the groundhogs looked real.

  • I don’t know. Got a link or anything?

  • Spoiled Ants

    I read so many articles and reviews that it feels like I already watched the movie 5 times in a row.

  • tOmy`

    How do you link links?!

  • Just post links and Disqus makes them clickable hyperlinks.

  • tOmy`

    I ain’t risking moderation!

    (When it comes to links)

  • We were banned, not the sane types.

  • Ass!

  • Please review “Untitled Jennifer Lawrence/Amy Schumer Project” (2016)

    Or those good old Goldie Hawn movies in re:View.

    Thank you.

  • Spoiled Ants

    It’s like the TV show ‘Cheaters’ but with ghosts.

  • No, that is the opposite of sexism. The movie could still be sexist in some way, but simply making a movie with mostly or all females is definitely not sexist.

  • tOmy`

    Schumer’s raise to spotlight is something I wanted to see, but now, when I have it, I am not sure if I want it anymore.

  • Mr. Wint

    ‘They’ have allowed linkage again? Guess Jay’s finally off his period huh?

  • tOmy`

    Seeing that my reviews of TV shows got taken down, I wouldn’t get your hopes up too much.

  • Mr. Wint

    Oh, I see. It’s only certain people, like ones they know are benign? and came here from the 4chan fan page. Got it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    schadenfreude of the comedy world? if you’re gonna tell me you found that dumb cow genuinely funny I’m gonna divorce you…oh wait you liked Sarah Silverman on FB…atrocious taste in comedians confirmed.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I liked Amy’s stand-up, Mostly Sex Stuff was great. Seen it? Or are you just calling her “dumb cow” because you are one of those people claiming that women cannot be funny, especially on their rag, while slamming their penis onto the keyboard to project some sort of a misunderstanding that people might actually like different humor than others?

    And yea, I don’t mind Silverman, but I have her on FB just to keep checks on her, mostly her political activism (not saying I totally agree with her).

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Careful because even with all that irony and humor your SJW part seem to gotten trigerred. Her and silverman are like Seth Rogen of females. Yeah I seen their material. Maybe if I was still in high school I would find it hilarious.

  • tOmy`

    Not much about SJW trigger, although yea, I would pretty much say the same to anyone calling women “dumb cows” just because you don’t like their humor. I’ve seen a lot of people making educated comments about why their comedy fails to make some people laugh and why it resonates with others.

    Those are the comment I can get behind.

    Not the ones starting with “dumb cow”.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    yeah in this webzone we can joke about male celebrities dying two hours after their actual death but saying a women is fat or a cow? bam that’s not humor. that was clearly intended to be a more serious comment then the holocaust itself. confirmed for awful human being. or maybe once again someone needs to check their sjw part of the brain.

  • So it’s named Unwanted Jennifer Lawrence/Amy Schumer Project.
    Oooooh. Now I get it.

  • tOmy`

    There is a difference between a joke and insulting someone to make a point about your own preferences.

    Also: I only defended her. You are the one going about the “male vs. female” jokes here. Not sure I am the one that needs to check “my sjw part of the brain”, whatever the fuck that is.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    sigh. yes everything is insults here. internet comments esp. on RLM are serious serious business. just don’t forget that the next time you wanna make offensive joke.

  • tOmy`

    Calm your tits, bredren, you know I am mostly fucking with you.

    I honestly don’t give too many shits about Amy, I only said I wanted to see her raise into the spotlight. You could have just walked away, you know?

    But it’s fun to push you a bit, because hey, when someone likes something you don’t? Gates of hell open for business. Plus I am kinda bored.

    I was really just pointing out you are using the same argument as the dumb male haters who occupy youtube comments, when we both know you ain’t one of those.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    who said anything about pushing. this is the first fun comment string this webzone section has seen in a while!

  • tOmy`

    What’s next tho?

    There is a lot of time before the next pop queen album comes out that I am gonna call kinda cool. We need to fill the gap, somehow.

    Seen any good movies lately?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Gonna start Mr.Robot this week. Let the circlejerk commence.

  • tOmy`

    Okay, that is the one that’s gonna tear us apart, you know, instead of love.

    I still think you ain’t gonna like it.

  • ikdks

    Ed Wood made Exploitation. I would say schlock is to exploitation as poodles are to dogs.

    Exploitation gives you what you want regardless of how ridiculous, embarrassing or tasteless it is. Vampire pimp, sure. Porn cops, on it. Couple gang raped at lovers lane by female thugs, let me make a few calls.

    Schlock is similar, but limited.

  • ikdks

    When people leave my company they put out an email. They don’t just disappear like an Agatha Christie novel.

  • Good news everyone! Anton Yelchin is alive…….. no wait dead. He’s dead. He committed suicide. He said he was sick of doing Star Trek movies. Can’t blame him.

  • Fred Frink

    and you hassle mike for liking bad movies! mr robot is pathetic eye rollingly bad crap. ‘big business is evil & stuff’
    Its for teenagers with poor taste

  • tOmy`

    Now them’s the fighting words!

  • ikdks

    No. That’s not fair.

    You got to be careful with Jaden Smith comparisons.

  • ikdks

    Schumer, Dane Cook with hooters.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    maybe. haven’t seen it. it’s the other guyz that like it!

  • junkevil

    Ah, yes, making bad jokes about people who died in horrible accidents. Keep it classy, Hivemind.

  • I wish we could rollback history.

  • NicCagesHair

    Papa probably gets the “And” credit.

  • Well, I’m sorry you feel that way. I don’t understand what is so offensive really with Benny Hinn music playing over a list of child molestation cities, 9/11 and AIDS jokes and all. If you want to complain please do so in an honest way.

  • Like in Yesterday’s Enterprise?

  • I don’t know what that means.

  • Man, Cool World (1992) is a pile of crap. That R rated ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit’ knockoff did pretty much everything wrong. Luckily Monkeybone (2001) came along and saved the genre………………………………………

  • Palpatine

    Really, I thought The Phantom Menace was the film that saved the live-action combined with animation genre?

  • ikdks

    Ok.

    They were both relatively funny comedians that were suddenly wildly overrated, got stretched too thin and started telling other people’s jokes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s not hard for them, they just don’t want to.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Is Nova Scotia going to exit Canada?

  • OMNI

    Go suck one. 🙂

  • Now I Get It

    Water bombers underfunded. TappCar monopoly. Earls serves Halal. (Do not watch video)

    Sukkers of Kawk. Baggers of Doosh. Alexit to Nova Scotia.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Seems I know even less about NS than I thought.

  • Now I Get It

    P.E.I. designated panic room. Confederation Bridge tolls rising. Secure travelling papers now.

  • Kevin Cooper

    Only because of this review, I know have to watch the movie, Independence Day Reconstruction… it was one I planned to skip. Just started, just like Star Trek, can’t communicate, because relays are down, possibly Ionic atmosphere issues.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Emmerich has one good film “Joey/Making Contact”. Very odd 80s time capsule of silliness. Star Gate has a few decent moments, but I prefer the show it spawned. Oh and Universal Soldier is a weirdo mess too. Whatever. Fuck movies.

  • Cephyran

    I found the pace of the film was working against it. In the first movie, you get those ease-down moments to take some emotional impact from, like president’s wife dying (which does factor into the idea of it taking itself too seriously). With Resurgence, as soon as the harvester ship touches down, it’s this perpetual motion plot that gives you no time to take any emotion from what are supposed to be the heavier moments, like Vivica A Fox’s death, which I felt literally nothing from. Pullman’s motivating speech felt like such a sloppy wink to the first movie. As far as Jay’s argument that everything felt like a set, I’m on Mike’s side. When the character is in a compact cockpit or in the control room of a space station, the enclosed nature, the limited space allows the suspension of disbelief to function. It’s when the X-Men are fighting Apocalypse in a pile of rubble with a vast cityscape behind them that you can see the set, and I didn’t have any ‘see the set’ moments with this movie. And the motivation of the aliens is something that doesn’t mesh with the plot of the first. When Pullman gets the mind meld, he says “I saw what they’re planning, they’re like locusts, they move from planet to planet, consuming every natural resource and moving on.” And that makes more sense in the context of using the city destroyers to reduce enemy resistance before deploying invasion troops. If they actually want the molten core, then the comment was spot on – just land the big one, keep it shielded, start the drill. If every city destroyer was also a drill ship, then the point of deploying so many was a matter of efficiency – each one can only hold so much magma. But they were clearly deployed to wipe out all human population centers, because they keep moving from city to city, except for that one in Africa.

  • Valter Vilar

    Hahaha! It’s been taken over by assholles. Sure, it’s not like it’s been like that since its very beginning.

  • Valter Vilar

    Before watching this review my thoughts were: They are going to destroy this movie so hard…A friend asked me to go watch this movie with him I felt really stupid after watching this movie. I thought they treated audiences with the utmost disrespect and I wanted my friend’s money back (i haven’t watched any of this Summer’s blockbusters).
    My surprise stems from Mike and Jay liking this piece of garbage… What in the world?

  • Frank Lovejoy

    You’re retarded. There is a difference between ‘making a movie with mostly/all females’ and ‘RE-making a movie with mostly or all females’.

  • No, I’m not that. Do you make a habit of being wrong about everything? You should fix that. Take some classes, think before typing, pick up a few constructive hobbies, etc. You’ll be both smarter and happier for it.

    Also, blocked.

  • TheTownlyBomb

    holy cow this is basically all this guy does. Also, he lists himself as a “games journalist”. all the laughs you need right there folks.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Also, pussy.

  • Variant

    Sorry to say it but Roland Emmerich earned a point in my book for understanding cold fusion better than JJ Abrams. He didn’t have to “get it right”, he just had to not make it about the word “cold”.

  • Variant

    Well, not to mention there IS no buildup. In the original the buildup was like over half the movie. In this one the aliens show up in like the first 10 minutes, and after that as you said – it’s just constant breakneck pace.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Wait, this isn’t part of the Divergent series?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    He looks like Billy Crystal.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    With all the Scientologists, anti-vaxxers, and anti-GMO hysterics, it’s not like Hollywood is anywhere near pro-science.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The Phantom Menace is the taped time-share seminar of space opera movies.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Unless that “dumb cow” is Ivanka Trump. Then again, I shop at Nordstrom’s.
    **slide whistle**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The CEO of Papa John’s is just a regular guy … who hates paying for his employee’s health insurance. Ya know, a real patriot.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Shkreli means “obscenely overpriced meds” in the tongue of the Lovecraftian Elder Gods.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Feh. You’re all meshuggah. I’m late for a shtupp.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Zack Snyder is a hack fraud.

  • Brett Burrett

    I enjoy these reviews for the times I disagree with them as much as the times I do agree. They usually have a reason to back their opinion up. And when they don’t, they admit it. They don’t spout some tired pseudo-logical crap. I liked the first ID4, and I found the sequel to be competent but weaker. But who gives a fuck what I think? Watch it yourself, make up your own mind. PS. Randy Quaid’s wife is kinda hot. The Rupert mask needs a hole cut out of the mouth area too trust me I know these things what an amateur

  • ikdks

    Part of this movie is the Bill Burr fantasy. Get the population down to 30,000 and everybody can go to the Superbowl.

    That’s why the stripper is a doctor. All the real doctors got vaporized.

Back to Top