Half in the Bag: Guardians of the Galaxy

May 6, 2017142 Comments

While Mr. Plinkett rehearses for an important “on air” audition, Mike and Jay discuss Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, the latest Marvel film from Marvel.

Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • MichaelKz

    (puts rope away) Oh sweet merciful Plinkett! A new Half in the Bag!

    Did I do the “I was gonna kill myself but I was given something to live for when I noticed a new video from RedLetter Media” comment right?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Let’s do this.

  • Matt Bradley

    Fat guys with beards, shots fired at screen junkies.

  • RLMkeepitup

    talking about movies on youtube? like.. ew, and so embarrassing!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    We need Dwayne Johnson in EVERYTHING! MUNDY!

    Fucking unsubbed them months ago, they couldn’t pull the corporate dick from their throat long enough to make a funny show anymore.

  • David

    I shoved it down her face.

  • James Gandy

    I can’t wait for Snatched either. You guys make it sound great!

  • Alex Lee

    Jay made a Star Trek Reference?! OH MY GOD!

    Also, that episode Mike talked about has a sequel called Pilgrim of Eternity. It’s fantastic and better than the first one.


  • DasKleineTeilchen

    great. gotg2 was released at the 5th in the states, right? I was figuring that those frauds would need at least 3 days to make a new hitb. why I had to look right now? here its 4:45 AM. well, there goes my sunday with daylight. or switching to coffeee with lsd. well, who needs sleep for monday anyway.

  • RLMkeepitup

    still pretending you can’t wait for alien covenant? i laughed at the goldie han picture

  • Hieronymus Friedrich von Münch

    remember when they were super stoked on the new star trek. now they hate it. can’t wait for them to realize most marvel movies suck too, so i can actually take a positive recommendation by these guys (which isn’t a horror movie) seriously. might see this one though because someone not marvel-blind said, ‘eh pretty fun actually,’ and that’s an opinion you can take to the bank.

  • Ret Marut

    Impressed w/ Mike’s sincerity regarding his commitment to impartial cinematic evaluation. For a moment, he reminded me of a certain paragon of American journalism. I can, in fact, see Mike playing the role: “From Dallas Texas, the flash apparently official, President Kennedy died at 1 pm Central Standard Time, 2 o’clock Eastern Standard Time, some 38 minutes ago. Vice President Lyndon Johnson….”

  • MichaelKz

    Aw fuck, this is the RedLetterMedia website, not YouTube. Never mind. Wrong place for such nonsense in the comments.

  • Adez

    You really watched non Honest Trailers vids on Screenjunkies?

  • Joshua Norton

    These fucking Frauds are just shills for Marvel cashcock. If Jay wasn’t so goddamn sexy, I’d downvote and unsubscribe and never watch another video until the next one.

  • Richard Cranium

    They were referring to the 2009 movie, not the 3rd one.

  • Andrew Carter

    This is my favorite video ever, just below Hypnotoad

  • Oberduckenführer Donald

    Hey, that’s my line!!!

  • Oberduckenführer Donald

    Yeah, the first 30 minutes were shit. So I bailed. Don’t see how 1/4 of the movie can be so hacky and forced yet it still be a good movie.

    Shilling ain’t easy.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    Joss Whedon wrote and directed the Avengers movies.

  • Jaws

    Michelangelo had to put on them fig leaves for modesty didn’t he. You guys need to get your history right. Unsubbed.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    That was the Last Judgement, they weren’t fig leaves, and Michelangelo didn’t paint them, you fucking moron.

  • Jaws

    You take everything literally don’t you lol.

  • You’re not Marvel shills, you’re James Gunn shills!

  • Dave Urda

    I hated the first half and got sucked into the last half. So it was pretty ok for a big dumb space movie.

    I would have loved more blue dad vs planet dad.

    and the sly crap…

  • Dave Urda

    also I was quite intoxicated when I saw it

  • Laura

    This is an unwanted, uncalled for, and really unfuckingnecessary sequel! But there’ll probably be a 3rd one because they are too many goddamn asshole that will see this shit and love it. FUCK YOU ALL!!!

  • Bleurgh

    Am I the only one who’s kind of interested in seeing 3 Idiotos?

  • Very cool.

  • Domo

    Not only did Gunn steal your Gardens of the Galaxy pun, he stole your idea to plant gardens throughout the galaxy.

    And, man, did Kurt Russell ever plant some seeds, in more ways than one.

  • Buk Pravon

    I thought that the Best-of-the-70s-Music-Show stuff already went old in the first scene of the movie. Ego’s analysis of the one song at the end made me cringe, so much was I annoyed by it at that point.

    Also I disliked about it, that they used way less practical sets and more CGI ones than in the first movie.

    But aside from this two points I fairly enjoyed it pretty much. 🙂

  • Robotpals

    How dare you Marvel fanboy shills not pour unconditional love onto the logos that have replaced religion in my life! THAT THEY ARE GARBAGE MOVIES IS IMMATERIAL TO MY FAITH!!!

  • frankelee

    I don’t know, I don’t want to see it if it’s not dark enough. Movies for adults are dark, that’s how you know you’re a mature adult and not a man-baby.

  • shags

    Opinions are like assholes, you’re an asshole, but that’s just my asshole

  • Fun?! Who wants FUN in their space adventure movies? I just wanna see boring, lifeless characters that mope around for two hours until they die.

  • Omegasaurus

    I don’t know if it’s correct, but I got the impression that Sylvester Stallone’s character was a referential throwback to the original formation of the Guardians of the Galaxy – where Yolnu was one, along with some sort of crystal man and an earth man who was cryfrozen for a thousand years or something.

  • I assume corporate committee thinking is why Adam is depicted as having a navel despite not being born from a woman, and why the five (out of 12) Sibyls were chosen in order to reflect “diversity”.

    Fun fact: Michelangelo was only given free reign because he was already a famous and successful artist (like a Spielberg), and even then there’s a good chance that the “studio” did some editorializing. But unlike Josh Trank, Michelangelo had enough pull to overrule the Pope’s original idea for the narrative.

  • 😮

  • RLMkeepitup

    but how do you really feel

  • RLMkeepitup

    when i think of marvel, i think of Disney’s® new World of Avatar™.. with guest appearance by ewoks! A genius 3d rendition of a very 1d experience

  • Anyway can you do Free Fire now and let me know if it’s any good? Oh wait you hackfrauds don’t know anything about British cinema. Free Fire is directed by Ben Wheatley and actually got a wide release over here. Who is Ben Wheatley, you ask? He directed Kill List, one of the greatest psychological thrillers of the last ten years. Check it out. Let me know. Or I’ll have to do it myself,

  • Omis

    Their mouths are used as a Gunn holster.

  • goodmatt10 1

    Meh, don’t care one bit about the Marvel v DC spats, I just didn’t like the 1st Guardians, nothing in the previews led me to believe I’d like this one. To those who do, more power to ya.

  • That’s an oral sex metaphor if I’ve ever seen one.

  • andychrist

    no wedding?

  • LameSame

    Y’all are looking mighty sexy these days. Are you all sharing Jay’s gym membership now?

  • LameSame

    But Michelangelo DID have to deal with a form of “studio suits”: it was called the church. The amount of stuff they demanded changed or censored in art throughout the centuries is staggering.

  • peterablex

    Didn’t Gunn also steal their Kevin Bacon pun in the first film?

  • LameSame

    THE POWER!!!!!!

  • LameSame

    But get a load of the 2d’s on that animatronic Na’vi! And by that I mean boobs.

  • Ret Marut

    Mike and Jay’s shirts always look so freshly laundered. Shouldn’t they be covered w/ beer and vomit stains?

  • Ret Marut

    Yeah, I was thinking that too. Hacks.

  • RLMkeepitup

    dads will probly walk out with a case of the disney eyes

  • Casey D. Mann

    I am happy that James Gunn – who I’ve been a fan of for years and years – is capable of keeping his old humor (albeit subdued) while adjusting for a more “wide”, general audience. I think I’ll go watch PG Porn again to remind me of his darker side… “Penus Part II”, anyone?

  • Joe Syxpac

    She was upset that there wasn’t enough of that sexy, sexy, raccoon.

  • Bleurgh

    Don’t forget, the characters need to be assholes, worthless spoilt immature unlikeable assholes!

  • Bleurgh

    The DC films are darker than the Nolan batman movies and unquestionably more immature.

  • Mynock

    You can tell how much Mike enjoys a movie by how many of the details he gets right when explaining his points…

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    No wedding. Jay and Harry add new layers to their sin.

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    I’m in as well, but it’s 3 IdiotAs you fucking idiots!

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    You are such an opinion…

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Jay referencing Star Trek… What’s next? Mike growing a beard? I’m so confused…

  • Brian Levine

    It’s “Who Mourns for Adonais” (i.e. ‘the Gods’), not “Who Mourns for Adonis”. I’m beginning to think that Mike isn’t really a Star Trek fan at all.

  • Andy James

    They were reviewing Guardians of the Galaxy 2, not Hot Tub time Machine 2. I made a similar mistake at first, too.

  • Red Skeleton

    Guardians of the Galaxy is the biggest shill for Samsung since Mac and Me shilled for McDonalds.

  • Brian Levine

    Ridley Scott has your back.

  • Ken Levine

    Me personally, loved this review. Very cool. I will now watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2. VOL 2 (TRADEMARKED BY MARVEL COMICS). Very cool.

  • Ken Levine

    Very cool.

  • primitive screwhead

    It’s actually going to be awesome when they start incorporating Guardians into the Avengers. So fuck you.

  • DRP103

    It was a nostalgia trip for us folks over 40 – we remember driving around in Mustang IIs. We remember those psychedelic posters they borrowed from, Walkmans, and 70s/80s letter fonts they again borrowed. Don’t forget the music. They even took Kurt Russell from that era – Used Cars, Big Trouble. I think the word you’re looking for is that:

    The movie was TRIPPY. TRIPPY.

    People think Micheal Rooker stole the show. No, it was Kurt Russell who did that.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 was so masculine that it scared Jay straight and he immediately called off the wedding.

  • Angela

    I had a very selfish reason for wanting this movie to be terrible and bomb at the box office: I was hoping that would save the Florida Tower of Terror attraction from a hideous GotG revamp like the one they gave to California’s Tower. Oh well.

  • Brian Levine

    Yeah, good luck. Star Tours Captain REX is never coming back.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the lack of continuity is disturbing

  • IamSithAzagoth

    Interesting choice of music used when Mr. Plinkett is rehearsing for his audition. It is the same bumper music that Michael Medved uses during his short movie reviews during the end of his radio talk shows.

  • Angela

    Oh, pish posh. Next you’ll be telling me they’re never going to rebuild Horizons.

  • Eucratides_Megas

    I thought Quill’s instant snap back into reality might have been the best part of an awesome movie. He didn’t grapple with mixed feelings for half an hour only for him to turn back to a good guy he was always going to be.

    The guy says “It’s too bad I had to put a tumor in your mom’s brain…”

    Snap cut to Quill going “whaaattt…..?” while drawing both guns to destroy the guys face. It was fucking glorious goddamn it. No Hayden Christensen moping. Straight to fuck your face with my guns.

    Yeah, I also had an absurdly good time watching this. And I liked Man of Steel. Go figure 🙂

  • Eucratides_Megas

    The weird seventies Kurt Russel animatronic sequence with him making out with every alien chick in the universe had me busting up.

    This whole movie was great.

  • Brian Levine

    Or Cranium Command. Remember when all the critics called Pixar’s Inside Out so original?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I did, I watched movie fights. It was the most politically correct dick suck fest I’ve seen since my last outing at the manhole.

  • Now it’s worth noting I haven’t seen the movie so I can’t comment on whether or not that’s the case – but how exactly does being around longer mean that Kurt Russell stole the show? I don’t quite accept that an actor’s pop-culture relevance has anything to do with how good they are in the movie – but I suppose I’ll comment more on that later when I’ve checked it out. I do love me some Kurt Russell, but that’s because he’s genuinely good in things.

  • Andy James

    You’d understand if you’d ever been vannin’ it up on the CB in your bell bottoms and Members Only jacket. But if they really wanted to make a great movie, they’d have cast Olivia Newton John as Quill’s mom. Maybe next time.

  • Brian Levine

    I just need to know when Forbush Man The Motion Picture is slated to be released. Tom Cruise is gonna be epic in that role.

  • well that’s just, like, your ppinion, man

  • Angela

    If only they hadn’t dismantled Cranium Command, they could have shoehorned in that IP and pretended to have built a new ride.

    Scuttlebutt has it they’re either going to gut the Enchanted Tiki Room or add an IP to it (possibly Stitch or Moana). Because that worked out so well last time. (I will be crossing my fingers for another “mysterious fire” if that happens.)

  • ajpwriter

    Would Mike look good in a beard or be terrifying? I can’t decide but I want to know…

  • Brian Levine

    What? Zazu and Iago didn’t do it for ya?

  • durhay

    They’ll do it right after bringing back World of Motion, If You Had Wings, and El Rio Del Tiempo.

  • durhay

    Show us on the doll where the guardians touched you.

  • Brian Levine

    Or the Mickey Mouse Review. Now where do I go to get my Jiminy Cricket fix?

  • Brian Levine

    Don’t get me started. 50th anniversary of Trek, finally a decent reboot movie, and Paramount did practically no promotion of this film or the fact that it was the 50th anniversary. Sad that the Cumberbunch atrocity made more money.

  • Angela

    I feel like the big-wigs get together each January and say, “Hey guys, how can we screw up the parks this year? What little bit of perfection can we destroy now?”

    I was exiting the Tiki Room recently and a loud, obnoxious woman was screeching, “That’s 15 minutes of my life I’m never getting back!” So maybe I’m old-fashioned and having Stitch burp chili dogs at the audience is the level of the room now. She looked like she would appreciate that.

  • Angela

    I knew there was a chance.

  • Brian Levine

    Hey, I like Stitch. But Alien Encounter was genuinely scary, and shoehorning Stitch into that ride was a poor choice.

    But turning Space Mountain into an Attack on the Death Star ride seems like a great idea to me. Or better yet, just build a separate Attack on the Death Star ride. Frankly, that part of the original Star Tours ride was better than anything they’ve done with it since.

  • Angela

    Alien Encounter needed to stay as it was and Stitch needed his own ride. Preferably one that didn’t terrify the little ones.

    Space Mountain needs a new track or something. At the end of a ride on SM I hobble like a granny with sciatica. If it takes a re-theming to smooth out the track then I’m all for it.

    I have no expectations for StarWarsLand other than it will have good immersive theming. I hope they don’t cheap out and just do screens or simulators (I like Star Tours but they already have that), but I expect they will. Who needs a great omnimover or coaster when you can stick people in front of a screen and just shake the ride vehicle a bit?

    But back to Guardians, there is still talk of a Guardians coaster possibly replacing Ellen in the Energy pavilion. Since Future World was destroyed years ago so that the theming is FUBAR, I could live with that.

  • Harry Loomer-Young

    The movie uses who Kurt Russell is and what he means to us to great affect.

  • Harry Loomer-Young

    Yes that thing that has not happened and will be extremely difficult to do well will be amazing and perfect you pieces of shit

  • Harry Loomer-Young

    Made the movie for me. I have been telling people for years Brandy is the best song ever in history

  • RLMkeepitup

    ha, yeah the space mountain track has been rickety for a decade, at least the part where you slowly go up. probably waiting for the right intellectual property before they rennovate

  • SeekerLancer

    You’re correct. Stallone’s character was Starhawk. The band he gets back together at the end were the characters that comprised the original Guardians.

  • Thanatos

    Seriously though, in 20 years no one found the glowing space egg in the woods behind the Dairy Queen?

  • Thanatos

    It was there in the room as they were walking in, so he must have spent a significant amount of time preparing that presentation, which is hilarious.

  • Thanatos

    Maybe they’re going to make the next Expendables movie in space

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Get ready for 3 or 4 Dwayne Johnson animatronics to be added to Jungle Cruise.

  • Okay. Still too meta for me but that’s cool.

  • primitive screwhead

    Amazing? Yes. Perfect? Doubtful. No movies is. And fuck you too cunt rag.

  • William Everett

    Mike said this is the first time in a long time he watched a movie for work that he wasn’t dreading. Um.. what about Logan? If you tell me you were dreading that, a) you are dead to me, and b) you’re lying.

  • DRP103

    KR is like that rug from Big L: It really ties the room together. KR really ties the movie together. Perfectly, in fact. Not even Jeff Bridges (TRON) could pull off the role KR just did.

  • Angela

    And people will love it (if it happens; last I saw they don’t even have a director for the movie yet). I don’t remember the last time I was on Pirates when someone in the boat didn’t say, “Hey, look, it’s Jack Sparrow! Oh my god!”

    (I swear, it’s never me.)

  • EJ

    Lots of things catch fire and explode in Guardians so that’s pretty on-brand for Samsung.

  • Gerald Potterton

    So is the Fate of The Furious review coming next week or what?

  • Brian Levine

    No. They only review every 7th movie in that series. So you have around 18 months til the next review:

    Furious Tetradecadent

  • Brian Levine

    Because The Wolverine was the best movie ever.

  • Brian Levine

    Well, at least you don’t have to sit in someone’s lap anymore when you ride it. I guess that opinion depends on how much of a pervert you are.

  • Square Peg

    I loved the fake product placement for the defunct Zune, that was pretty great. I had to stop my eyes mid-roll when I put together that it was a joke.

  • Pim Scutney

    It holds 300 songs!

  • Nebula had to be in this, and we needed her character development for when she finds and confronts Thanos (and subsequently gets cooked and made into a Zombie slave).

  • MonkeyKing1969

    Very cool….very cool. LOL

  • ikdks

    Ok, let me try to explain the DC bias. It goes a lot deeper than these dumb movies. It comes down to this. DC comics are like Greek literature, and Marvel comics are like soap operas.

    DC characters are like gods. They are apotheoses. They represent ideals. Superman is strength. Hal Jordan is will. So if for some reason Superman fights Hal Jordan, it’s not just two hyper-powered lunk heads slugging it out, it’s a comment on how strength and will interact with each other in the world. Maybe in this scenario, will is definitive, in another, strength wins the day.

    The most obvious example is Batman and Joker. Batman is order, Joker is chaos, and they exist in this constantly revolving yin yang of success and failure, victory and defeat. They never destroy each other, they never make peace, they just spin and spin for eternity. Order to chaos, chaos to order, on and on…

    In fact DC characters are often used exclusively as deus ex machina. If you aren’t familiar with the original meaning of that term, it comes from Greek theater. There are characters in conflict in a play, and at the end an actor is lowered down to the stage on a rope and pulley. He says, I’m the god Apollo, you’re right, you’re wrong, the end. Deux ex machina, the god from the machine (the machine being the pulley).

    So take the original Batman TAS, with Mr. Freeze. Victor Freeze is a nice guy, trying to save his wife from cancer when a business d-bag pulls the plug. Then he goes on a rampage. Who’s right, Freeze or the business d-bag? Batman shows up from the sky, passes judgment, and kicks Freeze’s ass.

    On the other hand Marvel characters are just regular shmucks with superpowers. They bicker with each other over petty nonsense, or whine about how they can’t get laid. I know little twerps that stalk hot girls. I know drunken rich guys with bad hearts. It’s not interesting to me. I want something on a higher level. I want the lightsaber battle to have a deeper meaning.

    And what’s most galling about the whole thing is that of course Chicago Hope is going to get higher ratings than Oedipus Rex, but Oedipus Rex is better. That’s why the best DC movies are better than the best Marvel movies. The Avengers is great, but it’s cotton candy. You can watch the dark knight over and over and find new details or interpretation every time.

    It’s also why these Zack Branagan DC movies are so bad. Writing DC requires intelligence and insight. Any hack can wright a story about a kid that gets bullied then saves the day.

  • Kawaii as Fuck

    I am Apollo! *DUN DUN*

  • bernverdnardo

    I’m Mary Poppins y’all!

  • In the Marvel universe, if you see something odd you leave it the fuck alone.
    Space plant, mysterious figures, guy in a cape… Turn around and walk away, cross the street, pretend to be checking your phone.
    “I don’t wanna know. I don’t wanna know.”

  • It is anti-product placement. Fantastic.

  • You might be joking, but I would love that. Have him fight NextWave.
    Where is my NextWave movie? I know that Fox Studios owns the character Boom Boom, but you could swap her out with Squirrel Girl or She-Hulk and it would still work.

  • Whiskey Jack: Lord of Pith

    I can just see it; the Avengers show up in space, Quill is confused when he realizes no one in space is actually speaking English, and he’s totally forgotten that fact.

  • Brian Levine

    The Doctor will save her.

  • Thanatos

    Yeah but you could at least call the anonymous hero tip line to report suspicious glowy shit.

  • Brian Levine

    Okay, guys…I’ll hold him.

    Seriously though, is it too much to ask for some joy in our Super Hero movies? I want characters that I can relate to emotionally, up and down. Marvel provided that to me. I’m not reading a an epic play or novel. I’m reading a comic book or watching a two hour movie.

    And frankly, I know of no more epic moment in comics than when Spiderman finds out, right after his moment of triumph, that he just killed his best friend’s dad and inadvertently killed his girlfriend.

  • Brian Levine

    MK, LOL’ing your own (tired) joke gets you this:

    *** SLAP!!! ***

  • Brian Levine

    Yes I was joking and yes I would love to see a movie with Tom Cruise portraying him.

  • Brian Levine

    *** Spoilers ***
    Love how they de-aged Kurt Russell at the beginning. And while Russell probably would have objected, having Ego remain as The Hoff at the end (up until his destruction) would have been epic.

    Have to say, overall I loved this movie. How a movie with a raccoon and a baby tree can hit all the emotions this well is a tribute./

    And I’m hoping we get angsty teen Groot for the entire 3rd movie.

  • Brian Levine

    She’s on the Darth Vader path (if you ignore all the whiny Anakin parts). Villain to reluctant hero to tragic figure.

  • Brian Levine

    But does it play great games like the VIC-20?

  • Brian Levine

    He plays a god who is self-important in a cool Kurt Russell kind of way. Think of him during the first half of of Overboard and Chris Pratt is Goldie Hawn. Except that he never learns to love him.

  • Brian Levine

    Yeah, scenes with Tony Stark and Rocket should be interesting.

  • okay i like it

  • ikdks

    Yeah, i watched the episode too. Simply repeating what they said doesn’t advance the conversation. Especially when it doesn’t actually address the point i made.

    Marvel aims low, DC aims high. What Marvel does isn’t hard, so they fail less often. But when they succeed, its like, so what? A soap opera in tights is still just a soap opera.

    Not to mention Marvel is whiny. Boo hoo hoo. The prom queen doesn’t love me. Everybody is mean but me. I read silver age Spider-man. It’s clearly written to convince losers it’s everybody else’s fault.

    Hey Peter Parker, hit the weights, learn to dance, if all else fails fuck a fat girl. You aren’t entitled to the girl of your dreams. You have to earn people’s attention, not just want it real hard.

    But again, they shoot low. Telling people what they want to hear is easy.

  • Brian Levine

    Scotty doesn’t do well around women.

  • Brian Levine

    Or maybe everyone is more normal than you.

  • ikdks

    Well, yeah.

    You can’t be exceptional by acting like everybody else.

  • ikdks

    One got raped by Apollo, one ended up in a hyperbaric chamber, another got stabbed by Renchek Renchek Renchek (Kill. Die. Make you suffer).

    Scotty doesn’t do well around women.

    Bones, on the other hand is a PIMP!

  • Burgerlord

    I really enjoyed the movie, but I have one (minor) complaint. Way too much exposition. The movie would be trucking along, I’m getting into the story, and then everything would just stop and a character would start talking about a back story to explain something. When that happened, it just took me out of the movie. Outside of that, damn good movie!

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