Half in the Bag: Gravity and Carrie

October 25, 2013674 Comments

Mike and Jay give Mr. Plinkett some chores to do while they discuss the lost in space adventure film Gravity starring George Clooney and Sandra Bullock as well as the horror flop Carrie.

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Filed in: General UpdatesHalf in the Bag

  • Frank

    FRIST OMG OMG

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Sounds like you’re winning an orgasm race.

      • Frank

        Orgasm races are my specialty actually.

        In honesty, I was mocking people who post “FIRST”. No one got the joke, it seems.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          I didn’t even notice that ‘first’ was spelled incorrectly.

  • Jan Kowalski

    First for /tv/

  • http://www.therobotspajamas.com/ RobotsPJs

    I used to fix my old porn tapes the same way they explain how to fix a VHS tape. Thank Crom for the advent of the internet.

    • Percy Gryce

      Crom doesn’t listen to your prayers.

      • Real Quantum

        Then, to hell with him.

    • TapewormBike

      I suggest you read Richard Dawkins The Crom Delusion

  • Jonny Edworthy

    “We recorded this Halloween-themed Mr Plinkett intro soundbite a year ago, and dammit, we’re getting our money’s worth out of it”.

    • Percy Gryce

      It’s called tradition–a venerable custom repeated on a regular basis that brings the community together, binding the young to their elders.

      You know, like how Care Boars plays after every new video.

      • Paul Woodcock

        I swear I’ve never got past 32 seconds of Care Boars, one day I’m going to watch it all the way through and then the world will be mine…MINE!

  • TapewormBike

    I am dead, right? In heaven. God is that you, with that sweet beard?..

  • ChachaIaca

    Jonás Cuarón is Alfonso Cuarón’s son.

    • ident

      So it was the nepotism that brought screenplay suck in. Good to know.

  • Culture Vulture

    Actually the idea of all the satellites creating a debris field isn’t too far fetched. Google Kessler Syndrome. It’s a real concern.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Would the debris field be so dense, though?

      • ident

        No.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          That’s the answer I was looking for. The debris would be over a very large volume and going in many different directions. It would not be a densely packed cloud. However, I’m okay with him using his artistic licence here.

      • Culture Vulture

        I don’t know. I know that if something like that were to happen it would render safe space travel impossible for a few decades. Since it has never happened I guess that we don’t know exactly what the debris field would look like… So I guess we have to chalk it up to “movie magic”…

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          I think the likelihood of these things are greatly exaggerated even if the possibilities are still there.

          • Culture Vulture

            I agree. But it is possible and I thought it was an interesting problem for the film to tackle. You just don’t really see movies demonstrating this type of space problem..

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I was pretty much ignorant about it until I read about the film.

  • TapewormBike

    Did Mike say Sandra Bollock?

    • TapewormBike

      Yeah he did dumbass, watch the whole review before you comment on it, shithead asshole. Fuck.

      • Real Quantum

        Genius :D

        • TapewormBike

          Quite the opposite, but I appreciate the sentiment.

          • Real Quantum

            Don’t sell yourself short, it was funny. :)

          • TapewormBike

            Fuck, now I can’t find the humble emoticon

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        You two have the same names! How odd is that. Like, the odds of that much be extremely…

        Oh, wait… damn.

  • MrEDK

    “Gravity” was my first iMax 3-D movie, and what an incredible experience it was! So worth it.

    • ident

      First 30 minutes, yes. Then the character and dialogue dragged my enjoyment.

  • http://www.cinefiloz.com/ Emmanuel Baez

    To criticize something in a movie that you say “you don’t know if it’s accurate” it’s bad criticism. It doesn’t matter if it’s real or not, the only thing that matters it’s that it works on a techincal and dramatic level, unless you’re a real astronaut… Criticize what you know, not what you don’t know.

    • TapewormBike

      Moviegoing is a subjective experience and if anything takes you out of the movie, you can complain about it. These guys never procclaimed to be the ultimate judges of quality.

      • http://www.cinefiloz.com/ Emmanuel Baez

        It’s not about quality, because they clearly state that the quality of Gravity is great. It’s about the content. He states that it’s too “fantastical” something like the space station getting blown to pieces, but that’s actually a real scenario proposed by the NASA. You can’t make a bad criticism about something you’re not sure how it works, about something you just know vaguely.. I mean, you can, but it’s a flawed crticism.

        • Alin Răuțoiu

          ”It doesn’t matter if it’s real or not, the only thing that matters it’s that it works on a techincal and dramatic level”

          They felt it was too far-fetched. Hence it didn’t work on a dramatic level for them.

          • Thanatos2k

            It wasn’t like poetry and it didn’t rhyme.

        • http://www.therobotspajamas.com/ RobotsPJs

          It might be a real scenario, but it’s not entirely scientifically accurate. Even if it was, it has to feel real for the audience.

          http://mashable.com/2013/10/07/neil-degrasse-tyson-gravity/

          • TapewormBike

            Yes, exactly. Oddly enough, sometimes completely realistic things look too fake in movies. Found footage has to feel “videoy” to have the effect it strives for, although if you look up some youtube videos they look pretty smooth and steady handed.I am sure that Europa Report has way more bullshit than Gravity, but it feels more grounded (the third act kinda sucks, sad rule) To be honest, I am actually sad that their review completely reflects how I felt about the trailer. Also, Mike believes in ghosts, so he has his science down…bitches

      • faelnor

        Right, but Mike does come off as a bit awkward in his treatment of verisimilitude in Gravity. I haven’t seen the film yet but what he’s describing as “too much” definitely sounds like a realistic Kessler scenario, which is scientifically acceptable as a movie starter. I still think Mike’s intent was to criticize the fact that such a starter was unnecessary (too much information) and blurred the focus of the screenplay, but saying that it isn’t scientifically accurate while at the same time saying that you’re not sure isn’t very fair.

  • putacorkinit

    Thank god a new review is here. Today was so boring. It better be good though.

  • Frank

    Cuarón on the ending:

    “Did you ever consider a different ending? Did you ever consider killing Bullock’s character?[Laughs.] It’s always a temptation — and then you finish the movie and go with credits in silence. It’s the easy way out. Because, you know, it’s like when you are a film student; those are the endings that you make. I was more interested in another ending. For me, there was an ending and the ending was: She walks. It’s the first moment in the film that you see her walking. The film was a metaphor of rebirth; literally, at the end, she goes from a fetal position, then in the water, to come out, crawl, go on her knees, and then stand on her two feet and walk again. You know, it was a bit polemic at some point with some people, with a kind of jaded, more mainstream thing, people saying, ‘But how do we know that she is going to be fine? How do we know that she is getting safely home? How do we know that she is not going to be kidnapped?’ I said, ‘I don’t care, she is walking now!’ I want to believe that if she survived what she survived … she’s equipped to deal with adversities.”

    • boodomi

      It’s like poetry

      • Marozeph

        It’s so dense.

        • Anders Voll Kimestad

          If only they could get Jar-jar working… Jar-jar’s the key.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Somebody saves her life in the jungle and then she owes them a life-debt.

          • TapewormBike

            Oh man, if Bullock was talking JarJarish in the movie,,the dialogue would be easier to accept. “Mesa lostsa kidsa!”

  • Lars Söderberg

    Best thing about Carrie was probably the viral video trailer. That was actually a bit fun.

  • jupstin

    Anyone else have a 30,000 second timer on the ads?

    • TapewormBike

      Have you consulted an exorcist?

    • Michael Findley

      It’s because you have adblock enabled you hack fraud!

      • jupstin

        But I don’t – really

    • Percy Gryce

      Yes, it had me worried there for a minute. But I did Magneto shit and it shut right off.

    • Thanatos2k

      It’s just for that one Droid ad.

  • Duckler

    Can I watch this if I’m only a fourth in the bag?

    • Percy Gryce

      Or all in the pumpkin?

  • DreamSmithAJK

    The space debris cloud managing to hit and destroy everything wasn’t unrealistic at all–it’s called a Cascade, or ‘Kessler Syndrome’, and some scientists think it’s already inevitable given how much junk we have up there. The unrealistic part of that is that if something in their orbit had that much closing velocity, it wouldn’t STAY in their orbit; it would move higher, very quickly. So the second and third passes shouldn’t have been that dense… but all of that is just one more technical thing I was willing to forgive. The problem for me was the tone of the thing, with Bullock’s character never feeling like she had agency; she was always reacting, always crying, and even her one good idea had to be delivered via a vision of Clooney.

  • Gary Guillot

    You know Hollywood is out of ideas (AGAIN) when they remake Carrie for the second time. Was the 2002 remake less forgettable than this one? Because when I heard about the new one, I immediately thought, ‘Didn’t they remake this, like, ten years ago?’ Welp, I guess a new remake is well overdue.

    • Leticia

      Unfortunately it’s not that Hollywood is out of ideas. it’s that they don’t want to pay for ideas that don’t guarantee money :(

  • BuenoExcellente

    I hope that on the next HITB they review Jay’s beard. Es bueno.

  • TapewormBike

    Was anybody else shocked about he sheer number of innocent VHS tapes that got destroyed?

    • Percy Gryce

      I’m sure several of those were tapes I’ve sent in for BOTW.

      • TapewormBike

        I would not get your hopes up, they surely destroyed those, but probably did not film it.

    • Thanatos2k

      The hell are you talking about – Plinkett fixed them all by the end. Nothing was destroyed.

      • TapewormBike

        I hate when people find plotholes in my comments. I should go back and change them.

        • Thanatos2k

          Whatever, Christopher Nolan!

          • TapewormBike

            Fuck, you got me!

    • ident

      In 20 years, when VHS tapes are going for $100 a pop, this video will be seen as a crime against hipsteranity.

      • TapewormBike

        I felt as if thousand voices cried out all at once “Whatever”

  • Carlos Mejia

    I liked Gravity. Didn’t think it was a masterpiece, but I appreciate the hard work put into it. I think Sandra Bullock was fantastic, unlike her performance in The Blind Side. But, in the end, Life of Pi did more for me than what Gravity tried to do. They handle similar conflicts and motifs, but Gravity just fell short for my taste.

  • JohnBigbooty

    You bastards, with that ending.

    Anyway, great review…..on a sesame seed bun.

  • Lorcan Bonda

    I’m guessing you guys shouldn’t comment on science until you know more about science. For what Sandra Bullock did with the fire extinguisher was fine — it’s when you’re actually doing work (like repairing a solar panel) is when you need that much control.

    Columbia had a lot more than one tile missing. Nearly every shuttle mission had a few tiles missing. It was that laissez-faire attitude which was part of the problem. Trust me — you have a lot more wrong in your science than Cuaronn

    • jnoble

      Nerd rage.

      • Lorcan Bonda

        It’s not nerd rage, it’s hypocrisy rage. I don’t know how you complain about the “science” in a movie which we know is going to shortcut the science, but in your criticism you get the science wrong.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Your points are fine; your attitude is shit.

      • Lorcan Bonda

        I apologize for any attitude. I was trying to reply tongue-in-cheek in the manner that they made the criticisms in the first place.

  • faelnor

    Jingle bells is going to remain in my heart forever associated with reading the HITB comments section.

    • TapewormBike

      I’m so sorry.

    • Percy Gryce

      It will never go away. It can never be undone.

    • catnep

      We make a game out of it now. Who can launch themselves off the couch the fastest to shut the browser in time.

    • sciencemile

      Unfortunately Jingle Bells will forever remain associated with the movie “Rape Squad” for me :/

  • Tensen01

    You had me until you started talking about Firefly… I’m not even gonna begin to start correcting you for fear of becoming one of those “Nerds” you seem to dislike… You know, the kind of Nerds you already are considering you sit around bitching about movies.

    • Thanatos2k

      Firefly is overrated. There is a reason it was cancelled.

      • ident

        Because it’s awesomeness was making the rest of the shows look bad.

    • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

      They’ve mentioned before that they really liked Firefly. It’s okay to still criticize things you like. :P

    • dollar store cashier wife

      Whedon is a hack.Sassy dialogue isn’t genius filmmaking my dear “cinephile”

  • tjp77

    HEY HACKFRAUDS — The Columbia didn’t lose a tile, it had a big hole punched through the leading edge of the wing when some foam debris hit it during launch. JESUS LEARN SOME SCIENCE YOU HACKFRAUDS.

    • TapewormBike

      Excuse me mister, I just glanced in your direction and, oh how rude of me I know, but I noticed your panties and could not help but notice that they are in a knot. Thought I should let you now.

      • TapewormBike

        (we were both doing like a thing)

  • JackMarco

    Neil DeGrasse Tyson made a list of things that are inaccurate in this movie:

    The 90-minute orbital time for objects at that altitude.

    The re-entry trails of disintegrated satellites, hauntingly reminiscent of the Columbia shuttle tragedy.

    Clooney’s calm-under-stress character (I know dozens of astronauts like that).

    The stunning images from orbit transitioning from day to twilight to nighttime.

    The aurorae (northern lights) visible in the distance over the power regions.

    The thinness of Earth’s atmosphere relative to Earth’s size.

    The persistent conservation of angular and linear momentum.

    The speed of oncoming debris, if in fact it were to collide at orbital velocity.

    The transition from silence to sound between an unpressurized and pressurized airlock.

    The brilliantly portrayed tears of Bullock, leaving her eyes, drifting afloat in the capsule.

    • HenryTennenbaum

      You mean “accurate”. What you just quoted is a list of the things he deems accurate.

      • JackMarco

        Oh….my bad XD

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      ‘over the power regions’

      I think you mean polar. Also, like Henry said, these are the things he found to be ‘accurate’. ;)

  • http://kingengrishkube.deviantart.com/ kube of Nazareth over 9000

    for a low budget independant movie with a script coming out of nowhere and unknown actors, Carrie wasnt that bad..
    for a remake of Die Hard with Sandra growing a massive pair, Twister in space was technically amazing for me.. i even thought that the story was nice and overall “poetic” despite the flood of disasters… but i cant believe its been seriously compared to masterpieces such as Kubrick’s 2001 and Tarkovski’s Solaris..

    • A I

      The script came out of the original Carrie (it’s a remake). The original came out of a Stephen King novel. Wait… you’re saying that Gravity is about Sandra Bullock going outside the law as a rogue cop to stop space terrorists from killing the woman she loves… That would be a cool movie.

      • http://kingengrishkube.deviantart.com/ kube of Nazareth over 9000

        xD

  • TapewormBike

    Looking at the comments, I am sad to report to you Mike and Jay, that Google knows more about the Columbia explosion than you. I..I am sorry

  • AntifreezeTeetotaler

    I love you guys, but sometimes when I watch this show, I wonder if you actually like movies.

    • TapewormBike

      Come on man, I want to watch these guys in a circle jerk over something too, but if they were just repeating over and over how great a movie was, this would not be a critique or enjoyable. You are free to enjoy the movies even if Mike and Jay don’t.

      • AntifreezeTeetotaler

        I usually agree with their opinions about the movies they choose to review. But on Gravity…well, I’m not sure how you could stretch that concept out to 90 minutes and make it watchable or entertaining without the elements they criticized.

        • TapewormBike

          You might be right, again, I have not seen the movie. But I think these guys enjoy movies just as much as anybody else, except then they are expected (and they are) to put out 40 minute review of two of them. Naturally they bring up sometimes minor points they disliked. but at the end of the review, they flat out said it is an enjoyable movie. I really like Cuaron so I was excited, but out of all of the (raving) reviews I read and saw, this seems to be the most actually informative.

          • AntifreezeTeetotaler

            Time to circle jerk around Red Letter Media, then? :D

          • TapewormBike

            Oh yes dear sir, trynna stop me!

          • notfunnydouche

            “circle jerk”? don’t you dare bring redditisms into this holy land that is the RLM comment section.

          • TapewormBike

            What exactly do you mean by that internet person? (Im serious, I was on reddit like twice in my life)

        • KarlBunker

          That doesn’t work as a defense of the movie. If you have to whip big chunks of styrofoam into the concept-mix in order to get enough volume for a movie, doesn’t that mean that you’ve chosen a poor concept for a movie?

        • ident

          Then it shouldn’t have been made that way.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Fuck movies!

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    The “first” meme is a very debatable topic and, like Mike said, nerd argue about everything. Some would say YTMND, some would say All Your Base, or even the Ooga Chaka Baby.. but I’d have to go with the Hamster Dance as the first primordial entity that could be classified as a meme in retrospect.

    … and, yeah, it’s still up: http://www.hamsterdance.org/hamsterdance/

  • Nick Redman

    There are several memes that predate “You’re the man now dog” (2001), like for instance “The Hamster Dance” (1999), the personal webpage of Mahir Cagri (1999), and “All your base are belong to us”(1998).

  • TapewormBike

    Haven’t seen the movie, but am I safe to assume that in the scene where her bed leviates, Carrie is masturabting?

  • Percy Gryce

    Why is Plinkett wearing a lavalier mic?

  • Thomas Manson

    Oh, Mike and Jay.

    Making light of a national disaster… You’re so punny!

    • TapewormBike

      Yes, they had a lot of Nine Elefun

  • Kai-Ta-Loipa

    Gravity’s clichéd, vaguely spiritual dialog that Mike and Jay criticize is in fact a facade masking a deeper, physicalist message.

    1) All the “George Clooney, talk to my dead daughter in heaven!” stuff follows from a delusion induced by lack of oxygen.
    2) The crux of the film is coming to terms with being alone in the universe (Sandra Bullock’s character is alone in space; she’s alone in her personal life; etc.).
    3) The final scene contains strong evolutionary imagery.

    So when Jay says that the film is “telling” rather than “showing” its themes, I think he’s wrong – and looking in the wrong place. In fact, Gravity paints a picture how a person responds to solitude and emotional distress by inventing comforting supernatural beliefs.

    • http://twitter.com/ahm Avery

      Sounds like you chose LOGIC.

    • tjp77

      Pfft. Well yeah, if you want to THINK about it. Fuck that noise.

    • AdeoAdversary

      Ya good points, and as someone mentioned above, gravity kills Bullock’s daughter, as she just falls and hits her head. Gravity then ‘tries’ to kill Bullock in space and she has to overcome this overwhelming force that strangely and inexplicably killed her daughter. And contrary to what Jay said, I think the movie needed to end on earth, as we see Bullock’s character finally stand up and overcome gravity, essentially the film’s enemy. This final scene paints a pretty vivid picture I think, doesn’t ‘tell’, awesome that it ended that way.

      • http://kingengrishkube.deviantart.com/ kube of Nazareth over 9000

        i concur about the end; the final scene made perfect sense and was the real point of the movie imo.

      • ident

        So you’re saying this some kind of anti-gravity propaganda movie.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Gravity killed her daughter… and raped her mother!

    • Geahk Burchill

      I’m sort of surprised that Mike, who tends to be the more science literate of the two, missed these points.

      Also, Clooney foreshadows her delusions when she is first trying to get to the ISS and her suit oxygen has run out.

    • ident

      You see Jesus in your toast, too, I suppose. Any movie can be deep when you crowbar things into it.

      • Kai-Ta-Loipa

        As for the first statement, suppose all you want.

        As for the second point, many space films address themes of human origins. 2001: A Space Odyssey and Prometheus come to mind. It isn’t unlikely at all that Gravity would place itself in this thematic tradition by touching on a similar topic, the origin spiritual belief. It doesn’t take a crowbar, just a bit of attentiveness.

        • ident

          I saw the movie. I was attentive. And I persist that some of those deeper elements were not intended. What you dismiss as cliche was the intention. I don’t think we are meant to dismiss Bullock’s religiosity as a delusion caused by lack of oxygen as it vocalized the visual religious symbolism line running through the entire film. I don’t think the film has anything to do with coming to terms with loneliness, since Bullock never came to terms with loneliness and, in fact, symbolically escaped from loneliness by returning to earth. 2001 left things open to interpretation. Gravity doesn’t. It’s all there as subtle as a heart attack. You can refuse to see the ham handed symbolism and character arcs and make up your own story, if you wish.

          • Kai-Ta-Loipa

            You seem to be changing the question in the last few sentences of your post. I’m suggesting that we need to look beneath the surface of trite dialogue to interpret the themes of the film. This is irrelevant to whether or not one finds its symbolism ham handed.

            You also reiterate your argument against the likelihood of my interpretation by making two points:

            1) You don’t think we should read anything into the lack of oxygen. But I see no reason at all to ignore it. After all, Bullock turns off the oxygen voluntarily – the lack of oxygen didn’t have to be in this scene at all. From this scene on, the audience is observing how Bullock’s character reacts to the vision: even though she, as a scientist, would immediately realize that it was a hallucination, she comforts herself with a spiritual interpretation (e.g. as I recall, she immediately starts talking to Clooney in heaven).
            2) You note that Bullock symbolically escapes loneliness by returning to earth. But returning to earth in itself isn’t the escape; after all, she was alone on earth previously. It is her change in attitude following her vision of Clooney that restores her desire to make it to earth, and (implied) to reintegrate with society, etc. The hallucination is a major turning point of the whole film, and I hardly think we can afford to ignore any details of its context – including the oxygen-deprived state.

          • ident

            You’re going into more detail on what you’ve already said without seriously responding to my criticisms. Nevermind, moving on.

          • Kai-Ta-Loipa

            You made a relevant criticism regarding escaping loneliness, which I responded to in point 2 above.

            Otherwise, you have really only made an assertion: that you “don’t think we are meant to dismiss Bullock’s religiosity as a delusion.” Pointing out the presence of religious imagery is irrelevant, since I’m arguing that the film undermines that imagery. Likewise, statements about the quality of the imagery (“ham handed symbolism,” etc.) are irrelevant to the interpretation of the themes of the film.

            Explaining my position in greater detail doesn’t seem at all an inappropriate response to an assertion expressing an opposing position.

            Anyway, nice exit.

  • diehounderdoggen

    I’m glad to see you’ve gotten back to your roots of dressing Rich Evans up in a cheap costume and throwing things at him for your own amusement.

    Also, you guys may be fraud-hacked hipsterbeards, but you’re certainly more memorable than Carrie

    • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

      Some things never change. Rich Evans falling down is still hilarious. Mike and Jay put it together in a hilarious way.

  • Festus Moonbear

    I guess I won’t be getting any more work done today then…

  • TapewormBike

    Dude, you totally misspelled Jay Bauman

  • Percy Gryce

    Excuse me, I’ll come back when the nerds finish arguing.

    • TapewormBike

      You will be missed Percy. So long….

      • Percy Gryce

        You young whippersnappers aren’t getting rid of me that easily.

  • Leticia

    I instantly thought of Wall-e when she used the fire hydrant!!! That definitely took me out of the movie. Plus I also didn’t love Gravity because I’m the extreme minority who hates 3D movies and I can’t STAND it when the camera’s existence is acknowledged! In my opinion, that breaks the “4th wall” which I find annoying and unnecessary. But I agree it was still a good adventure movie :)

  • SomeoneElseTookDude

    New HiTB: OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

  • Marvin Falz

    “In fact, Gravity is soo good, it’ll keep you in your seat” …… was kinda like a crash-landing.

  • Studio Executive

    I need to start production on a Finding Forester remake staring George Clooney…

  • Percy Gryce

    Isn’t it your nap time?

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      He didn’t finish his sentence, so he probably fell asleep into his nuggets.

      • TapewormBike

        Shhhhh, Jimmy is trying to masturbate

        • Percy Gryce

          Furiously?

          • TapewormBike

            If not,, I don’t wanna aknow about it

  • victorinus

    I’m just surprised Mike *didn’t* want to see a bunch of 12 year olds violently murdered.

    • TapewormBike

      Jay is into that, Mike is a more gentle soul.

      • catnep

        Ever since Jessi came out from behind the camera as Mike’s GF perceptions have changed and he’s become the Sensitive Beatle.

        • ident

          Wait, what? I thought she was his sister.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I thought she was both…

          • ident

            Nothing wrong with that…assuming Wisconsin has an Appalachia.

          • catnep

            Yee-haw.

          • TapewormBike

            I thought Jay was..

      • sepiajack

        As scientifically proven on Best of the Worst, enjoying child murder doesn’t get you the girl!

        • TapewormBike

          But it still might get you off

        • ident

          You are referring to the way Gillian looked at Jay when he expressed an appreciation for child murder. Now everyone can feel included in your referential humor. You’re welcome.

          • sepiajack

            The crowd here is so in-jokey I figured most would get it anyways

  • TapewormBike

    If other astronauts made fun of Sandra Bullocks period, she probably could have moved those pieces out of the way.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      What?

      • TapewormBike

        Plug it up! Plug it up!

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Why is her period significant? Moved what pieces out of the way? I’m trying to get your joke. HELP ME.

          • TapewormBike

            I made a brave attempt at combining the two movies, giving Sandra Bullock telekinetic powers through power of public shame and thus a way to clear the space debris. I feel about 20% less funny for saying that

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Oh wow. You know the Carrie remake is forgettable when the jokes about the movie fly WAY over your head like an orbiting cloud of space debris.

          • TapewormBike

            I like the original, not planning to see this one (I was intrigued by the cast though)

  • YourMovieSucksDOTorg

    Agreed about Gravity. Don’t know if I’ll ever see Carrie, but I expect it to be bad.

  • http://hollowshape.blogspot.se/ Filip Önell

    This movie CARRIE wasn’t very sCarrie…

    • TapewormBike

      Does not seem to be. I am really stoked though, for the sequel to Gravity, which, because a female spend some time in closed quarters with Clooney, will be called Gravidity

      • TapewormBike

        The third part of the epic trilogy will have Bullock following her dream of becoming a saucier in a French restaurant – Gravyty

  • SUPERSOUP

    Mike and Jay haven’t seen Children of Men or Y Tu Mama Tambien? What the fuck?

    I agree with them about Gravity to an extent, although even though I think their criticisms are valid, it didn’t take me out of the movie to that extent. Some of the dialogue was a bit cringeworthy, but nothing too much. I think a producer told Cuaron he could make this movie if he put two big-name actors in it and wrote certain things into it, like Bullock’s dead daughter or driving. Not really spoilers btw.

    I still thought it was good. But I’d like to see something slightly more complicated from Cuaron.

    • TapewormBike

      I see what are you saying, but they really were’t taking shots at Cuaron in the review.

    • notfunnydouche

      They have mention Children of Men in two Half in the Bags i believe, Mike was making fun of hack critics with the whole “Foreign director you’ve never heard of” thing.

      • SUPERSOUP

        Now you mention it I remember them talking about the action scenes in Children of Men.

    • Cinesnark

      I liked Gravity a lot on a technical and philosophical level, but every time it hit one of those Hollywood snags, I had to say to myself, “They probably couldn’t have made it without…”

      …A list stars
      …Constant reinforcement of the narrative
      …A literal happy ending

      Those Hollywood snags are why Gravity is raking in the cash and no one has heard of Europa Report.

      • ident

        What was the philosophy of Gravity that you liked?

        • http://www.cinesnark.com/ Cinesnark

          That everything is pointless and we all die alone.

          • ident

            I see the problem, I think you actually saw Grown Ups 2, not Gravity.

          • http://www.cinesnark.com/ Cinesnark

            Ha, well, that produced a feeling of hopelessness for entirely different reasons.

            I actually found Gravity a philosophical positive; life as a giant middle finger to an indifferent and uncaring cosmos. There’s a futility to it, literally and annoyingly articulated out loud by Bullock’s character, that she’s going to do what she’s going to do, and it will work or not work, and that’s that, but it’s an affirmation, too, that even though the universe hates us, we go on.

          • ident

            I guess I didn’t see that so much as philosophy as more “no shit”. The universe doesn’t give a shit about us. If we’re going to make it, we’re going to do it on our own. I see that in the movie. But described like that it makes me feel like I felt about Supersize Me. I didn’t need a 2 hour documentary to tell me fast food is bad for me. I didn’t need a 2 hour movie to tell me the universe doesn’t care. Kind of live here already.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Mike and Joe*

  • angelbr

    Similar to what happened at Lucas Film when George was left alone with the original Star Wars reels.

  • SUPERSOUP

    Better watch out with those criticisms of Firefly…

    • ColinJ

      Browncoats are gonna out a fatwah out on Mike for that comment.

      • SUPERSOUP

        He already pissed off the Yakuza.

  • http://twitter.com/ahm Avery

    This is good to watch while the Droid commercial plays

  • SUPERSOUP

    >mike and joe

    • TapewormBike

      Just the average bearded Joe

    • TapewormBike

      I particularly like when they make fun of the Star Trek creator, the famous George Shyamalan.

  • StopThinkingBrainUrGoingToHurt

    The beer bottle actually broke! Checkmate Atheists.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I don’t know why I find this so comical.

  • Memoman

    I don’t know about others, but anytime I open my refrigerator door, and the bottles cling, I automatically say “Haaalf in the BAaag!” and it never fails to make me smile every single time.

  • TapewormBike

    “not every movie is”

    They reviewed 2 movies and made lots of good points, that can be at least debated. And I agree,, for example Gravity seems way more interesting than Star Trek

    • idiot123456

      STID is by far more interesting film to talk about because of things surrounding it
      not better film as such, but really, there is not all that much to say about Gravity, it looks nice, it’s exciting at times, it’s kind of stupid, nobody really cares…

      • TapewormBike

        Fair enough, but I cannot say I mind having these reviews at their length. I actually welcome it.

        • sepiajack

          And the plinkett bits are great

      • Baron Teapot

        I disagree. Star Trek was a waste of time. Because these guys don’t constantly review ‘Star Trek’ movies every week, we get to learn about their insights into all manner of films, and I really enjoy it.

        What’s wrong with being thorough? It’s broken up into two halves, each book-ended with a little comedy skit. Where you don’t care about ‘Gravity’, I do. Where I might not care about the next film they review, someone else will. :-)

  • TISHE

    Never liked Julianne Moore, same role every movie with no makeup. As Jay would say, there’s something oddly sexual about this movie. Especially with the “Glee’d” out high school kids it’s fuel to the Hollywood scum factory known as Earth

    • TapewormBike

      There is supposed to be lot of weirdly sexual with it though (but yes, the more realistically young, the weirder, I get the point). Moore was at least according to me great in Magnolia and I liked her in Cuarons Children of Men.

  • Mark Bisone

    Obligatory.

    • Percy Gryce

      Even an obligation can result in a work of art.

      When that actually happens, we’ll let you know.

      • Mark Bisone

        You’re the man bear, pig.

        • Percy Gryce

          At least you got my good side.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I feel that this was Mike during one of his mock fight scenes.

  • catnep

    I like that slapstick Randy Evans too. He does his own stunts.

    • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

      Rich Evans flailing around in VHS spool should be a gif. I would open it up to make me laugh any day.

  • TJ

    What a great way to start my weekend…also there is a new Half in the Bag.

  • Percy Gryce

    No Actual Plinketts were harmed during the making of this video.

    • Mark Bisone

      Only Fake Plinketts, then?

      • Percy Gryce

        Exactement, mon ami.

        • Franklin Floratos

          Bien dit. Vous avez l’air d’intelligence convenable.

          • Mark Bisone

            Excellente.

          • TapewormBike

            Mon Dieu

          • Percy Gryce

            Merci.

      • sciencemile

        Ceci n’est pas une Plinkett.

        • Studio Executive

          ici…

          • phillysportsfan

            just exactly perfect. i salute you.

  • nocomment

    Oh please. There’s nothing “shot by shot” in Gus’s Psycho. The shower scene is like WhAAT!?! A classic scene made bad, lame and boring.

    • http://www.plasticpals.com/ Robotbling

      I haven’t seen it but I remember the buzz at the time was how it was shot-for-shot remaking it. Are you telling me the buzz lied?

      • Anders Voll Kimestad

        It is shot-for-shot, with only slight differences. (Google it for a list.)

        • nocomment

          I think it’s shot scene by scene. if it was ‘shot by shot’ the shower scene would be U know, shot from 50 or so different angels and it was like, what… 5/6? Like a normal TV kill. At least that’s what I remember.

          • ident

            I guess we need to define what shot-for-shot means. Or shot-by-shot, as you keep saying. Are they different things?

          • nocomment

            I thought it meant the exact take for the exact take, but I guess that’s not exactly it. The thing that throws me off of the Gus’s version is the “realism” when Norman masturbates. I always enjoyed how asexually Anthony Perkins played it.

  • TapewormBike

    I cringed when they mentioned Firefly. Not because they made a point about a show I like and they (as they stated before) like as well, but because I read the comments.

    • Percy Gryce

      Where have they talked about Firefly? I don’t remember them mentioning it–except maybe in passing in connection with Avengers or Cabin in the Woods.

      • TapewormBike

        Yes, they said they liked Firefly when talking about Joss Whedon in the Cabin in the Woods review. I think

    • Paul Schumann

      You think they were… ah “trolling?” I think that’s the expression all the kids are using these days.
      (I too <3 Firefly)

      • TapewormBike

        No, they were making a point, but had to knew they are poking a tiger in a butt.

  • catnep

    And the methane his laughter produces also.

  • Matt Baen

    Gravity is fine, but it would be better if it were 20 minutes long and audience members had motion seats synced to the film and were spritzed in the face with water at the end.

    (Spoilers ahead)

    Could Clooney’s astronaut been more of salty, flirty, folksy, chatterbox cliche?

    Could Clooney’s ghost have been even more of a cliche?

    Dead daughter = Finding Nemo’s dead eggs.

    Gravity = Open Water + the space station scene in Armageddon.

  • Matthew Shannon

    if plinkett lost his house, where is he going to keep is prostitute prisoners?

    • jnoble

      He has to kill them all immediately now.

    • Anders Voll Kimestad

      Wrong Plinkett. You want Stoklasa-Plinkett (#2), not Rich Evans-Plinket (original).

      • Matthew Shannon

        nit picky nelly.

  • Matthew Shannon

    night of the living puns

  • Jeremy Clarkson

    I must be dead inside, because I didn’t even flinch at that scare moment in the end… Have I lost my humanity or do I just have nerves of steel?

    • TapewormBike

      Right?!

    • ident

      I don’t think you’re really Jeremy Clarkson.

      • Paul Woodcock

        Yeah he didn’t compare the jump-scare to a toaster or anything. I call BS!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      You’re like the HitB episode where they asked the audience around them if they still have human emotions.

      • Jeremy Clarkson

        Nah, I am pretty sure I still have human emotions, so maybe I simply have nerves of steel?

  • Percy Gryce

    And don’t forget Mike’s girlfriend, the lovely Josie. And their other friends, Jock and Magician.

    • Mark Bisone

      Or their horny robot pal, Josh 2.0.

      • Percy Gryce

        Do you mean the “Intercourse Android”?

      • phillysportsfan

        fuckbot 3000 changed his name?

    • http://raptr.com/celozzip/wall celozzip

      i’ve tried forgetting them, boy have i tried…

  • Percy Gryce

    HITB needs to spice things up. I suggest they do an episode in the Mirror Universe. There Plinkett would be president of the United States and George Lucas would be an insane political blogger. Jessi can prance around in a miniskirt with a dagger in her belt. Her consort Mike would be mayor of Milwaukee, with Jack and Wizard as his henchmen. Evil Jay, the deputy mayor, would be constantly plotting to kill Mike. And the big twist? In the Mirror Universe, Evil Jay wouldn’t have a sexy beard.

    • sepiajack

      Love it! And for proper juxtaposition: mirror universe Sepia Jack (aka technacolor Jack) hates the idea!

    • Paul Woodcock

      Unbearded Jay? NOOOO!! Damn you man, come to your senses!

  • Alex Lee

    I hope that “Carrie” will be the signal to Hollywood to stop doing remakes and start coming up with relatively new ideas.

    • TapewormBike

      (dies)

      • TapewormBike

        (of laughter)

        • TapewormBike

          (of sadness)

    • Kidakor

      That sentiment is appreciated, but sadly that’s just wishful thinking.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • Studio Executive

      Carrie was sufficiently cheap that it’s low quality is almost moot: it will still make a profit and will therefor not be a wake-up call.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wait, who the fuck is ‘Mike’?

  • CalamityCorp

    I think it was just a “Look, I made a funny!”-pause.

  • horatiogalt

    Max Goldberg is gonna sue yo’ asses.

  • Alex Three

    D: don scare me jezus

  • phillysportsfan

    spoilers ok, sorry if this has been mentioned. and i’ll say first i didn’t like it, but you missed a couple of things about gravity or just didn’t mention them. like, her daughter died when she fell down, just one of those things. but no, thematically, gravity killed her daughter. and gravity was trying to kill her, first in space, then in the water, then when she crawls on land and tries to stand up the first time. so her standing up the 2nd time is her defeating her enemy, gravity. that’s one reason it had to end the way it did. the other reason is the whole rebirth theme, where she’s first floating in the fetal position in spaaaace, and then when she crawls out of the water on earth, also symbolizing her evolution, since that’s what it was reminiscent of, the evolution of sea to land creatures.

    • jnoble

      So you’re saying the symbolism was crammed down our throats? I LOVE that in movies.

      • phillysportsfan

        well, at least it was a tiny bit more subtle than foreshadowing astronaut clooney’s death with all that talk about his last spacewalk and his final mission.

        • Anders Voll Kimestad

          That’s like a red flag to savvy movie goers. It’s like the guy in a war film that talks about his girl back home. (Even worse when he actually provides a picture of her, then you know 110% he’ll be dead before the credits.)

    • ident

      Just because it makes sense, doesn’t mean it’s not stupid.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Watch the video, you poopie pants!

    • TJ

      WTVYPP

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        When I first read this I had no idea what acronym you were using.

        I’m pretty dense sometimes… each thought has so many things going on.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I didn’t expect that ending. Haha.

  • AdeoAdversary

    I thought Gravity was one of the most tense, visually exciting, and emotionally gripping move-going experiences I have ever had. As far as Jay’s criticism about the dialogue being too on the nose, yes to a certain extent, but in my mind it was trying to emulate what real people might say, not what people might say when they’re trying to be poetic or understated. As far as the science is concerned, everything in Gravity is scientifically possible, its just taken to extremes. Really you have to accept that Hubble, the ISS, and the Chinese station were all on the same orbital plane (which they usually aren’t) when the Russian satellite exploded, creating the out of control debris field.

    • http://www.plasticpals.com/ Robotbling

      What’s possible and what’s plausible are too very different things.

      • Real Quantum

        It is possible that you may be right.

    • ident

      Real people generally aren’t aware of their own character arc and nor do they provide running commentary strongly implying they already know the outcome of their character arc.

  • http://www.smallfish-bigpond.com/ Kerensky97

    The end seemed like a cheap way to make it a “scary Halloween video.” Please tell me that was deliberate satire and not laziness.

    • sciencemile

      I haven’t seen it yet, but if it was the ghost girl that haunts the vcr repair shop doing the jump scare it would make sense because she did that in the other video she appeared in.

    • ident

      File this under “Doesn’t Get It”. Or “Dense, Inscrutable Sarcasm”. Whichever.

    • TapewormBike

      Well the thing about your point isBOO!

    • Real Quantum

      Go back a year and watch what RLM did in halloween.
      It rhymes.

  • Mark Bisone

    RMCKYJY?

    • Percy Gryce

      Ricky Jay?

      • Now I Get It
        • Percy Gryce

          Yes, I’ve seen it. I’ve seen two of his Broadway shows as well: Ricky Jay & His 52 Assistants and Ricky Jay on the Stem. I’ve also met him a couple of times.

          You might say I’m a fan.

          • Now I Get It

            Seen and met. Damn!

            I’ve seen him onscreen in many small parts – his monomaniac out to “revolutionise the mails” in “The Water Engine” comes to mind – but never onstage. I have read *Cards as Weapons* and *Dice*, though, and, as a former archive assistant, do admire the dedication and resourcefulness that built the collection that he once had. The man occupies an impressive niche, no question.

            Ah, well, at least there’s the film, whose poster is excellent, as one might expect.

          • Percy Gryce

            The film is great. It’s out on demand and DVD in a week or two.

  • Yukonses

    What a rip off! The movie is called ‘Gravity’, but I didn’t see any at all!

    Do they think I’m stupid? Do they think I’m not going to notice when they sell me gravity but hand me the opposite? I walked out of the theater.

    • sciencemile

      Any movie called “Carrie” better have either Drew Carey or Jim Carrey in it, that’s all I’m saying.

      • sepiajack

        Or at least Carrie Fisher or Cary Elwes

      • Christopher Kulik

        In the words of Chloe Moretz from KICK-ASS, “That makes no sense.”

  • sepiajack

    Fuck you jump scare at the end!!!

    But seriously guys, another great episode!

    • Kenten

      I even read your comment, that there was a jump scare coming, and it still got me. Nice, thanks, guys! And at 2am no less. Happy Halloween to you, too!

  • sepiajack

    All of your bases are now belong to us, stands out in my mind

    • Hungrier

      The 90s had the dancing baby video, ugachaka.avi. It was a sample file included in some 3D animation software, and people made videos of other stuff using the same dancing animation. Eventually it started showing up in commercials and that was pretty much the end of it.

      • sepiajack

        That baby didn’t get a lot of acting gigs until recently, when all grown up it stared in the epic comic book film: THE AMAZING BULK, as the titular character.

  • Thanatos2k

    Every person who has seen Gravity seems to tell me the same thing. “It’s a great movie, and it looks incredible, BUT….” and then they go on huge long rants about all the things wrong with it.

    Good to see Half in the Bag validate all the other opinions I’ve heard, which means it’s the truth!

    • haralampi nedelin

      How about this: “It’s a horrible movie on every level, it is cringe-worthy”. CGI doesn’t make a good movie, otherwise transformers 2 would have been a good movie.

      • Anders Voll Kimestad

        Gravity obviously needed to have more special effects. That’s how great film-makers make great films that tell great stories.
        It’s like poetry.

        • sepiajack

          But its a funnier character then we’ve tried before, that will be the challenge. If we can get Jar jar working…

      • ident

        It’s not the CGI, it’s the visual storytelling. Which is to say that it’s not the effects, it’s how they’re used to tell the story. You know, a special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing.

        • haralampi nedelin

          Exactly, the film was more than boring, because it had no story. When the audience (me) hopes that the main and only protagonist burns up in the atmosphere or is hit in the head by one of those flying debris, this is not good story telling. There was really no story to tell, sandra bullock should have been in a psychiatric ward, not flying in space, to begin with. Survival of the dumbest is the message that the film conveys, Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, i wanna kill myself because i have nothing to live for waf waf waf, that’s the whole movie in one sentence.

  • Baron Teapot

    When I saw the trailer, I thought that it looked great, but then I saw that it was Sandra Bullock and couldn’t help but think “it’s a dumb romantic comedy in space.” It put me off, ’cause I thought that they were just going to have the sci-fi stuff in the background, and use it as a setting for some pathetic, by-the-numbers love story nobody cares about.

    “So, we’re trapped in space Sandra Bullock… and you don’t have a boyfriend, right?”

    I for one would love to see a movie about a shuttle disaster; ‘Apollo 13′ was great fun, with the astronauts floating about, the realistic computer and tiny weightless set, etc. That was technically accurate (as far as I know) and it rocked.

    • http://www.plasticpals.com/ Robotbling

      I agree. Sandra Bullock has no gravitas as an actress for me. She’s been in too many dumb movies playing stereotypically dumb roles for me to take her seriously. Clooney’s not much better, tbh.

      • Chris Pendlebury

        Some folk think of Clooney and think Batman and Oceans. If you look at his movies in the 2000′s most of them are very serious and very good thrillers/drama.

        • Anders Voll Kimestad

          Oceans 11 was an all right caper movie. The rest I haven’t bothered watching. But yes, Clooney has been in quite a lot of good movies in the 2000s. Maybe not GREAT movies, but good enough to watch, most of them.

          • sepiajack

            I do give him a lot of credit, he apologized for Batman even though he’s far from the worst thing about that movie, but even still he took all the blame, and he said that he made so much money from that movie that he never needs to make a crap movie for a payday again, so he tried to focus on acting/directing/producing quality movies with soderberg, coen bros, etc. Not that everything he’s done is great, but at least he’s trying.

            And his movie Good Night, and Good Luck is one of my favorite films. I believe he also helped Nolan into Hollywood by producing Insomnia after loving Memento so much

          • Yukonses

            I don’t think anyone thinks of Batman anymore when they think of Clooney. That’s really old news and his career has skyrocketed since then.

            I don’t mind Clooney. I think he has good comedic timing and I think he does a pretty decent job of picking roles. That means I tend to like the movies that he just happens to be in, by coincidence.

            But it is true that Clooney plays Clooney. Just like Tommy Lee Jones always plays Tommy Lee Jones in every movie he’s in. It’s not really acting, it’s more celebritying or personalitying (two terms I just now made up). We like them for who they are, not their ability to act. It’s like calling a friend to fix your roof instead of a real professional. It may not be the best work, but you enjoyed having them over.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Did you end up seeing the film or not?

  • sepiajack

    I would agree that the 20 minute discussion of Things felt unwarranted.

    • Percy Gryce

      I rewatched that last night. It’s everything I like about RLM when they’re not doing Plinkett reviews: The subject matter was offbeat–like previous HITBs like Zaat and Troll 2. It included interesting information, things I’m unlikely to learn elsewhere. And their opinions were all delivered with their patented comedic flair. What’s not to love?

      • sepiajack

        You’re probably right, I was pretty tired when I first watched it, and those comfy chairs they were in added to my desire for sleep. It just felt a little over long, but I get what they were going for, I think maybe it would have worked better on Best of the Worst with the whole panel. I will watching again though (as I do with all the HitB), it’s not bad, it just felt a little overlong to me.

        But I mean this in the ‘they’ve set such a high standard’ sort of way, like ‘well Cars is the WORST pixar movie’ but by any other kids animated movie standard its still really good sort of way.

        • Gerhard Van der Berg

          Apparently you have not seen Cars 2 and it is not good by any other kids animated movie standard. Having said that, I don’t mind these longer episodes at all as I always want more when an episode has finished.

          • sepiajack

            You are correct, I have not seen Cars 2.

  • sepiajack

    Weird, I’d never seen this before, not sure if anyone here has either, youtube just recommended it to me, Mike on some german film tv show

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKy43Kgv7wk

    • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

      It’s not German, it’s Danish. He went to a Danish film festival. He talks about it on the Avengers HitB review.

      • sepiajack

        Oh! This is from then!! Yeah that makes sense now, forgot about that Avengers trip to Denmark segue.

        It’s a good interview, I’ve never seen him explain the process of making the Plinkett reviews in such detail before.

  • Thanatos2k

    I could watch this all day. Let’s do that shall we!

  • Daniel Bellfield

    file under Harror

  • Jesus

    Richard Dawkins first coined the term ‘meme’ in his book ‘The Selfish Gene’ which came out in 1976.

    Check your facts!

  • Peanut Turner

    What a load of bollocks. But no, seriously, greetings from the UK.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Sandra Bollocks?

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    I’m not even necessarily interested in the films they’re reviewing. I get more interested as a result because I just like hearing their thoughts regardless, and I actually enjoy seeing what they like to make in terms of those little sitcom comedy skits.

  • jnoble

    For some reason on my end the ad said “ending in 30000″ and I thought I was in for some serious purgatory involving not texting while driving and mobile phones. It was terrifying.

  • jnoble

    Yeah, but, gravity is everywhere.

  • jnoble

    Nearly every video in that last stack hit him in the head. Abuse of senior citizens in hilarious.

  • Karl Marinier

    What the the first beer bottle that broke on screen during a HitB show? Impressive

  • Percy Gryce

    Are there ghosts in space?

  • proghead777

    I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I heard about the Challenger disaster (they cut into the broadcast with the breaking news while I was watching Thundercats on TV… I was 10, give me a break). I also remember just as clearly where I was and what I was doing when Columbia was lost (I was driving home from work and they mentioned it on the radio between songs). Sorry Mike, Columbia was no less memorable for me than Challenger. Perhaps even more so, because I was old enough to appreciate the magnitude of the disaster. Also, Columbia didn’t break up because it lost one tile, but because a piece of debris blasted a big ass fucking hole in the wing during the launch.

    But I’m a (almost) lifelong space shuttle nerd-boy, so maybe that’s just me.

    • TapewormBike

      That actually was the only thing I would object to. I am not even American, actually pretty far from it and I still very clearly remember Columbia disaster.

      • ident

        As I said above, I am an American and, while I remember Columbia and it’s name, this disaster simply hasn’t resonated with the culture at large in the way the Challenger did.

        • TapewormBike

          Well, the obvious answer of cousre is, that I have no idea, simply because I was swimming in my dads nuts at the time of the Challenger explosion (although I was interested in it and bought boooks about it when I was like 9). I think you are right, because, for example in the studies of so called “flashbulb memories” (people remembering what they were doing in connection with big national, usually traumatic events), they always use either 9 11 or Challenger.

        • Now I Get It

          Both were poignant, as I recall, but for different reasons. Challenger contained a civilian, whereas Columbia was somehow part of America’s post-9/11 misery, something like the plane that crashed – where and when was it? – in a New York suburb the week after 9/11.

          • ident

            Right, but I was speaking exclusively about lasting social and cultural impact.

    • catnep

      Interesting, Proghead. When Challenger happened, I remember being in a lobby at college and seeing a crowd of students staring up at a wall-mounted television. Everyone was silent and I knew something big had happened. We stood there for I don’t know how long staring up at that little TV screen. There was more impact with that tragedy for me. I probably saw Columbia on the TV news at home, but I couldn’t tell you anything else about that day or how anyone else had reacted to it.

    • Chris Pendlebury

      I think both of you are right. It was caused during launch, and it was one of the heat tile things that got damaged.

    • ident

      Hmm, you seem to be under the impression that Mike thinks Columbia is forgettable. If you go back and watch, it is very clear he is talking about the culture at large, which I would agree with. The Challenger had a major impact on the culture and society. It changed how Americans viewed the space program. Columbia was only a reminder to the culture of a lesson learned 20 years before.

      • proghead777

        Fair enough. I watched the segment again and you’re assessment seems completely reasonable.

  • TapewormBike

    Man, I really should change my nick. I feel like people are being mean even when they agree with me.

  • TapewormBike

    When is the next Plummer review, you heck Freuds!

  • bb-15

    Rich is very funny in this. Good episode.
    - Mike and Jay sum up why I think Gravity is just an OK sci-fi movie.
    And as for the visuals, yes they were often good, but I’ve also seen a lot of space shuttle videos/documentaries, so the shots of earth/shuttle/space station weren’t completely new for me.

  • James Rogers

    Mr. Plinkett Star wars episode 3 review: long uncut opening shot rendered by some guy on his computer… Not impressive… Just a bunch of shit all over the screen
    Half in the bag Gravity review: long uncut opening shot rendered by some guy on his computer… Now you guys like 3D?!
    Ah bollocks! Still enjoyed the review, keep up the good work!

    • Anders Voll Kimestad

      AFAIK, Gravity didnt have tons of shit happening on the screen, with lasers and whatnots firing all the time.
      There is nothing wrong with a long uncut shot in itself, if it’s well done, and you can actually tell what’s going on without being told explicitly. Take the railway station scene in the beginning of “Once upon a time in the west” for instance. As the camera pans, you understand what is going on. And there is barely a single word said.

    • Syrath101 .

      Nice job of cherry picking a single line from a segment of the review, and forgetting everything said about it, and why it wasn’t impressive.

    • ident

      You lost your context back there. Better go pick it up.

  • Yukonses

    Dear Everyone,

    Please stop calling ‘Gravity’ a science fiction movie. There’s no fictional science. It’s just a thriller that happens to take place in orbit around the Earth. This is a common mistake. Movie-in-space doesn’t automatically mean sci-fi. Same goes with movie-in-the-future, not necessarily sci-fi either.

    My opinion:
    To be a sci-fi movie, there must be a fictional science/technology at the ROOT of the plot and it usually must carry a message about the macro-human condition (Star Trek, Jurassic Park, The Matrix, etc.) Lots of movies have sci-fi elements, yes, but are not totally sci-fi movies because they are something else first. Star Wars has hyperdrives and light sabres, but that sci-fi technology is not the root of the story. Star Wars is a fantasy space opera first. The ‘force’ is not sci-fi, it’s super powers.

    ‘Gravity’ has no fictional science/technology and offers no message about humanity as a whole. It’s simply a situational thriller that happens to take place in space. We might call it a disaster movie. The science and situation are dramatized, but still based on reality.

    With that said, I did enjoy the movie.

    • Johnny Two Melons

      Nerd rage.

    • Dswynne

      Unless “Gravity” is a documentary or a dramatization based upon “real events”, the film is FICTION. Get over yourself.

      • JAG

        “Guest” never said the film wasn’t fiction, just that it wasn’t science fiction; which it isn’t.

        • TapewormBike

          Does science fiction really have to take place in the future per say?

          • JAG

            I don’t think so.

          • Geahk Burchill

            I agree. I don’t see this film as Science Fiction. It is a meticulously researched story set in a modern environment. It’s no more science fiction than a well-researched film about lawyers in a a modern law firm or fighter pilots on an aircraft carrier.

            As a science fiction nerd myself and as someone who loves NASA, space programs in general and the whole concept of space exploration, I loved Gravity because it set a story in an environment that cinema hasn’t explored since 1995 in Apollo 13. I appreciate so much that Cuaron finally brought some attention to this underused setting and I hope more films will be made with low-earth orbit as a setting.

            It IS a setting though. A modern day, extra ordinary setting but not a fictional setting. There is no speculative science in the film (Though there is ‘convenience’ for the sake of drama and storytelling)

            I think you have to set the bar at LEAST at speculative science for it to be considered Science Fiction. This film probably has less speculative science in it than Top Gun.

          • JAG

            I think you’re on to something with the idea of “speculative science” being necessary to designate something as “science fiction.” If all that is required for something to be sci-fi is that science or technology be integral to the plot in some way then that dilutes the category to the point where we might as well not bother (which I guess is an argument).

            You could still use subdivisions like Dasby suggested, but (at the risk of sounding too theoretical) that still doesn’t explain what science fiction actually IS or what it’s essence is. What is the defining characteristic that compels us to categorize something as sci-fi rather than just a story that involves science or technology?

          • Geahk Burchill

            If Gravity is Science Fiction does that also make CSI: Miami Sci-fi because it takes place in a real location using science as a major plot point? I don’t believe so.

            I just think a reasonable bar must be set for what is called Science Fiction. In the past Science Fiction has been called Speculative Fiction (The Left Hand of Darkness is a really good example) and I think that title really gets at the core of what separates sci-fi from a science-based fictional story.

          • Dasby

            In that case, given the incredibly ridiculous standards of what is or is not science fiction brought up on this comments page despite the fact that it’s been made quite clear that Science Fiction is merely an umbrella term for several different specific “types” of sci-fi, 90 percent of all things science fiction ever created aren’t actually science fiction. When your definitions begin to get this exclusionary you are being absolutely ridiculous.

          • Geahk Burchill

            Name one thing that is currently considered Science Fiction that would no longer be Science Fiction under the definition that it requires speculative science?

          • Dswynne

            The funny thing is that science fiction is what drives actually R&D in science and technology, with “Star Trek” being a prime example of science fiction inspiring real world “stuff”.

          • Yukonses

            You have great points, Burchill. Thanks for your input. You’ve helped make the discussion nutritious for the brain.

          • Dswynne

            The thing is, this argument is silly in its face, since its sounds like the originator of this argument is nit-picking for the sake of nit-picking. Redlettermedia has already gave a clear distinction between “science fantasy” (science and technology that is “magic” in execution) and “science fiction” (science and technology that is rooted in theory and conjecture). These are just generalizations of categories only, not something to be taken seriously, IMO.

          • JAG

            I think the OP, nitpicking or no, did have a compelling point about science fiction requiring some type of fictional science to earn the designation. I see the merit in the definitions of “science fantasy” and “science fiction” that RLM has talked about (and I still don’t think Gravity satisfies their definition of sci-fi). The whole debate might seem silly or trivial, however, this IS the internet. I get to be silly and trivial here. But before you disregard it, I would also submit that debates about semantics are paramount since they are first and foremost concerned with the idea of “meaning.”

          • Yukonses

            Wise words. Your last line sums up the topic pretty well.

            It is true that debating the meaning of scifi is not as important as children starving in Africa. But there’s nothing wrong with a conversation about what scifi really is. I like categorizing and classifying art. It helps us understand, the art in turn becomes more effective on our lives.

          • Real Quantum

            Only in the future of space.

        • Dasby

          The definition of Science Fiction is simply: “fiction dealing principally with the impact of
          actual or imagined science on society or individuals or having a
          scientific factor as an essential orienting component” This movie is a piece of fiction directly involves scientific theories or concepts in order to propel it’s narrative, therefore whether you like it or not it is in fact science fiction by definition.

          • JAG

            The point is, the definition of sci-fi is totally open for debate. I think that definition is too broad. Under that definition, a film like “Cellular” could solidly be considered sci-fi. If the definition is going to be that broad, why make the distinction at all?

          • Dasby

            There’s Science Fiction Fantasy, Hard Science Fiction, and Soft Science Fiction, each of them are entirely different subdivisions of the broader science fiction genre. So yes, there are definitions and distinctions. In fact there’s three of them.

          • JAG

            I guess that could work.

    • JAG

      You’re spot on. Incidentally I often get into debates with fellow nerds about why Star Wars is not science fiction. Star Wars has more in common with Wagner or Tolkien than Bradbury.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      As Mike said, “Nerds argue about everything.”

    • Yukonses

      Whoa. I deleted this original post 3 minutes after posting it because I thought it was too nitpicky and hipster. It remained, posted as ‘Guest’.

      Hahaaaa.. Enjoy your enlightened conversation, suckers!

      j/k. But seriously, great comments from everyone. Great points all around. Even the ones rolling their eyes at the argument, you too are right.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        That’s Disqus for you. It’s difficult to delete comments. It’s easier to simply edit them.

  • Yukonses

    The sound and score were the highlight, though the effects were top notch. The combination of space silence and swelling score is what created the high tension that everyone is celebrating.

    I think the dialog, while elementary at times, suffered more because it couldn’t compete with the other audio presence, sound & score. The film would have been even more powerful without Sandra & George flappin their gators all the time. It would have be a harder science movie.

    Moon is a good example of what dialog can be. When lines are spoken, the information only fills a small percentage of what’s actually going on in the plot. The film trusts the viewer to figure it out.

    • sepiajack

      Well said

  • Pingback: Gravity (2013) - Seite 2

  • Sir

    I can’t hear the soft jazz in the background while you guys were talking

  • TapewormBike

    There is also Carrie Anne Moss, but you obviously watch more porn than Matrix:)

    • ident

      As should we all…as should we all.

      • TapewormBike

        Well, as all do:) Plus I am sure there is Matrix porn somewhere, so you can multitask.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Cumshot bullet time, anyone?

          • TapewormBike

            EVERYONE!

  • Brian

    you guys have to remember this wasn’t ordinary space debris. in the movie the russians were demolishing a satellite in a test and the debris from that hit another satellite, which broke apart and in turn hit another satellite and so on. this is a real thing called the Kessler Syndrome and it’s serious. if something like what happened in Gravity happened in real life, we wouldn’t be able to launch satellites or spacecrafts for decades.

    • nocomment

      Unless we get a giant robot with an even bigger vacuum cleaner to suck all the debris out of space.

      • Guest

        Get it: “Vacuum cleaner”?

      • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

        In real news, the Swiss have designed and are in the process of implementing space debris cleaning satellites.

        • nocomment

          Yeah but I’ve heard that James (F-you) Cameron also is doing something like that… Oh wait, he’s the one who wants to mine resources from asteroids and sh*t.

    • JAG

      Yeah, I was a little baffled at why that seemed to be hard for them to understand. It doesn’t matter that NASA catalogues all space debris because it is established early on that the Russians just recently shot down their satellite. The debris is stuck in earth’s orbit, so it keeps on coming back around. It adds a nice ticking clock aspect to the action that is actually plausible.

      • Geahk Burchill

        I believe the seed of the concept for Cuaron was an article a few years ago about the Russians and Chinese building satellites that can kill other satellites. This was a huge concern for the space-faring nations because of exactly the scenario of this movie.

        For my part, I LOVED Gravity. I think Mike and Jay, in this instance, are being overly harsh–possibly for hipsterish reasons. Their critiques of the movie were often not based on formal or story principles but on their expectations. I got the feeling they felt the movie was ‘too mainstream’ for them to like and had to take it down a peg or two.

        • JAG

          I got that feeling too. They seem to have contempt just for the idea of something having mass appeal. (Which is weird since they heaped praise on TDKR; a film with broad appeal that I think was far more problematic.) Their critiques of Sandra Bullock and George Clooney seem to hinge entirely on who they are and not on their performance. I feel like a more lettered review would have probed how a film like this can have such appeal for indie, mainstream, and critical audiences alike rather than sneering at it’s popularity.

          • ident

            Did you watch this? They criticized George Clooney for acting like George Clooney. I can’t remember them criticizing Sandra Bullock at all. And, if you are a fan, you would they liked many movies that have had mass appeal, like the Batman and Iron Man movies.

          • JAG

            Did you read this? I mention their praise of batman in the third sentence.

          • ident

            So you do. You counter your own point. Now explain to yourself why your self would continue making a point yourself has already countered. I don’t think you need me here any longer.

          • JAG

            I never countered my own point. I drew attention to a contradiction. I noted that their entire premise for certain criticisms they make of the film contradicts their attitude towards other films when applying the same premise (I thought that message could be induced from my aside about it being “weird,” but I was mistaken). They criticize certain set pieces in the film (like the satellite being destroyed by the space debris) on the basis that it was just used to appeal to the masses and “soccer moms.” They largely gave TDKR a pass in this regard. They’re contradicting themselves. If the premise they accept is that scenes designed for mass appeal diminish a film’s overall quality, then they should apply that calculus across the board (especially to an offender like TDKR). The inconsistency you seem so adamant to root out is theirs, not mine.

          • ident

            But you don’t ask why TDKR got a pass when Gravity did not. I would argue there is, of course, a calculus, as you would say, going on that isn’t explained clearly. I can’t speak for RLM as to what that reasoning might be since I found TDKR as frustrating as Gravity. But I can say with certainty after watching nearly everything these guys have done that it’s not because they sneer at popular movies or they have contempt for movies that have mass appeal.

          • JAG

            Well, we can agree that TDKR is frustrating. Mostly for me since it asks the audience to suspend it’s disbelief to a point that isn’t really reasonable. Hence why I like to modify the phrase to make it “reasonable suspension of disbelief.” Covered my ass in a lot of convos about narrative fiction.

          • Pa Kent Says Maybe

            We ALL contradict ourselves. All the time. It’s what we do.

          • Real Quantum

            Yes, we don’t!

        • Franklin Floratos

          I agree. I know many people who comment on this site may disagree with me, but I saw this harshness evident when they reviewed STID and ‘Man of Steel’, both of which films I really liked. Perhaps they regarded both as ‘mainstream’ and had to thus tear them to shreds to maintain their credibility. Not that I hate Mike and Jay at all, but your point rings true.

          • ident

            I haven’t seen Man of Steel, but the complete ignorance of the laws of physics made STID difficult to sit through. Aside from all problems with story and character.

          • Franklin Floratos

            What were these problems?

          • ident

            Really? You want a list of all the problems? Google it, man.

          • Franklin Floratos

            I think you’re just trying to berate me for actually liking this movie. Not only liking it, but holding in a special place in my own heart. So far, this seems to be the only disagreement we have.

          • ident

            That was perhaps harsher than I intended. I am not trying to berate you. There were a lot of issues with STID and compiling a list here isn’t feasible. Here is a good start covering the absurdity of the Enterprise falling from orbit like a rock: http://blogs.uoregon.edu/4dbio/2013/05/23/a-note-on-gravity-in-star-trek-into-darkness-spoilers/. If you want to talk story, character, and plot, we’ll be here all day.

          • Franklin Floratos

            I thank you for your ‘apology’, but I had no problems with what the film did. Maybe I was just dumb enough to accept what was happening and actually end up really liking the movie. That, and JJ Abrams is one of my favourite directors. In a world where so many films are made to be cash-grabs or just utter bullshit only worthy of a BotW viewing session, STID to me actually felt like a movie that was focused on telling a story. I appreciated that massively. Certainly, you can’t honestly tell me that JJ Abrams is anywhere near as bad as Shyamalan. Surely.

          • Franklin Floratos

            I would also recommend you watch the Nostalgia Critic’s editorial, ‘Is It Alright To Nitpick?’. He explains it very well.

          • ident

            I don’t see how both recent Star Trek movies are not cynical cash grabs. They completely changed everything about Star Trek and those characters to appeal to a mass audience. Even the screenwriter, when defending the movie against a bunch of trekkies, measured its success by how much money it made. I would disagree that STID was focused on telling a story. I think it was focused on stringing as many Wrath of Khan references together that it could. I don’t have much problem with Abrams aside from a few of his choices (e.g. lens flares). All that said, there is no accounting for taste. All the references to Wrath of Khan, nonsensical dialogue, and violations of the laws of physics drew me out of the movie. If it didn’t draw you out of the movie, then I can understand why you would like it.

          • Franklin Floratos

            It didn’t draw me out of the movie for a second, but maybe that’s because I only saw ‘Wrath of Khan’ once when I was much younger. And maybe I actually liked Benedict Cumberbatch in the role. You can have your own opinion, but please stop trying to destroy mine and shoot it down as ignorant and misinformed.

          • ident

            You seem to have a victim complex. I never said you were ignorant or misinformed. And, incidentally, Benedict Cumberbatch was my favorite part of the movie, also. I’m out.

          • Real Quantum

            ident comes across as a bit full of himself, sometimes, but I didn’t see that here.

            Although I also liked STID, the guy was only stating his opinion, in a civilized manner.

          • Franklin Floratos

            OK, I admit to overreacting. If ident were here, I’d apologise to him myself. I just get very defensive when there are negative comments about something I happen to like, even if it is someone’s own opinion. I won’t ask for forgiveness, because I probably won’t receive it, but I am sorry.

          • Real Quantum

            Hey man, don’t have a cow, it’s only a comments section.
            You two even write alike, who knows, you could even be friends ;)

          • Alex Lee

            I think you should look at the comments in the HITB on Into Darkness. People have written at length as to what they find flawed in it.

          • Franklin Floratos

            So you ARE insulting me for liking it! For finding it special! You people make me sick!

          • Pa Kent Says Maybe

            So, you’ve admitted that the “special place in your heart” and a sense of “favoritism” colors all of your opinions. That, no matter what, you “have no problems.”

            So, um, there you go. When it comes to any kind of serious analysis of any movie, I’m gonna have to go with the other guy instead because your mind is in lockdown.

            We all like what we like, and we all have different reasons. It might really surprise you, but some people require more from an experience than you do.

            No berating. Just stating.

          • Pa Kent Says Maybe

            Your ringer is busted. Maybe you got it set to vibrate by mistake.

        • ident

          I saw Gravity in the theaters and had nearly the exact same complaints. Great technically, utterly ham-fisted in story and dialogue. Guess I, too, am a hipster trying to take down mainstreams movies a peg or two. I don’t how I live with myself.

          • Johnny Two Melons

            With the help of lots of booze and cheap women? I know that’s how I do it.

        • Pa Kent Says Maybe

          Disagree with me, I will call you a hipster.

          I think it’s time we start shoving nerd’s heads down toilets, again.

          The guys’ critiques were ENTIRELY based on formal story principles.

          Unnecessary repetition.
          Hackneyed dialogue.
          No subtlety in expressing a simple (clichéd, even) theme (“Aaaahhh, Life is GOOD”).
          Unoriginal character types.
          Mistakes in details.

          It’s called critical thinking. Put it on and keep your head warm.

      • ident

        As others have point out, this ticking clock element doesn’t make a lot of sense. Why was the ISS not destroyed in the first pass? Why was the Chinese space station not destroyed in the second pass? It seems like this debris cloud is chasing her alone and leaving everything else untouched. In which case, it was Sandra Bullock who destroyed those stations!

    • ident

      Yes, it is a real thing, but satellites don’t all orbit on the same plane. Even if they did, the size of that debris hurricane was absurd.

      • Sulfur12

        I’m not sure about that. The shooting of Chinese satellite created field of debris so big, that hundreds of satelites, includng ISS, had to change their orbits. But then again…they changed their orbits. its possible. And if disaster of such proportions would occur ir would tak like…months?

        • ident

          That’s because even a tiny amount of debris can cause massive damage, as Mike described. There is no doubt that an event similar to that could occur, but not as depicted. Once more, I agree with Mike that this exaggerated depiction is for cinematic effect and so I’m not trying to say it makes the movie stupid. The dialogue makes the movie stupid.

  • nocomment

    “Nothing says movie nerd like glasses”, e.g. Clark Kent. I guess that’s where the glasses shtick came from.

    • TapewormBike

      Hey, I wear glasses sometimes and….oh, right

  • JAG

    In regards to the ending (showing Bullock making it to the surface and the shore):

    The imagery of Bullock crawling on to the shore after she lands is supposed to be the final phase in her rebirth from the cosomos. Like our evolutionary ancestors clawing forth from the primordial ooze. She escapes from her metal womb to adjust to earth’s gravity as a new person who has discovered some sort of transcendent impulse which gives her the will to live again, etc. It also harkens back to the theory that life on our planet is the result of stardust and other space detritus seeding earth to create the necessary carbon based biological material for life. Our heroine quite literally descends from the chaotic (but beautiful) heavens to re-integrate into earth’s stabilizing gravitational force to begin life anew. The imagery allows for totally secular or religious interpretations of the material (or both) to appeal to a broad audience and emphasize our shared humanity.

    I found the imagery pretty blatant and obvious, maybe overly so. And you could argue that it’s overly sentimental or emotionally fraught, and that’s fine. I would submit though that its established from the start that this film won’t really traffic in nuance or subtlety, and in that respect it is consistent. The point is, showing Bullock returning to earth actually served a purpose and Curon didn’t think there would be catharsis without it. Leaving the heroine in space would have been pretty un-satisfying since we would have absolutely no idea if our she survived or not in a film that is all about survival in a cruel and indifferent universe.

    • ident

      Fast food is consistent and serves a purpose, but that doesn’t make it good.

      • TapewormBike

        Same goes for bowel movement. AND I LOVE IT!

      • JAG

        Ok, what would have made it better?

        • ident

          Less blatant symbolism, better written dialogue, people acting like people (e.g. not taking a nap while George Clooney floats away), and …wow so much more. Get Alfonso to call me and I’ll tell him the rest.

          • TapewormBike

            You are now definitely the dog man

          • ident

            That’s what they call me down at Zoophiliacs Anonymous.

          • TapewormBike

            Shoot, I missed the last meeting.

    • Percy Gryce

      Thanks for the spoiler alert.

      • JAG

        Spoiler Alert: Don’t read the previous post.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          There’s an ‘edit’ feature on these comments so it’s a quick fix if you care to fix it.

          • JAG

            I am well aware of the edit feature, but I am not going to “fix” it, because nothing’s wrong with it. To be frank, I would recommend not frequenting reviews and their attendant comment sections to someone who is worried about spoilers. There is a reasonable expectation that if you make it all the way to the comment section of a movie review (for a movie that has been out for several weeks), posters will be discussing details from the film. It’s fair game. I don’t really have a good deal of sympathy for people that engage in risky behavior and then get burned. You might think I am a dick, but it’s a bit cynical for someone to cry foul over spoilers after you’ve made it a point to come to the EXACT place where spoilers would be.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Ergo, ‘if you care to fix it’.

            Either way, I’ve seen Gravity so you didn’t spoil shit for me. I’ve also seen the original Carrie so I doubt there will be any spoilers from this remake that I’m not going to bother to see until a friend wants me to see it after the home video release.

  • fskn

    I think Jay lost the opportunity of adding a cut of the Darth Vader “noooo” page on YTMND right after the Sean Connery one. :(

    “You’re the man now, dog! You’re the man now, dog! You’re the man now, dog! Noooooooooooo!”

    • TapewormBike

      It came up on my mind as well at that moment:)

  • Paul Schumann

    I happened to love how Plinkett is helpless in a situation getting worse and worse (a la Gravity) and then they dump vhs’s on his head…

    • ident

      Thank you for explaining the review. You should have your own site dedicated to reviewing and explaining RLM reviews.

      • Paul Schumann

        I know, I’m a simpleton unworthy of such noble company as the RLM combox… let me cry myself to sleep in peace!

        • ident

          What?

          • Paul Schumann

            Seriously now, all I meant by that comment was I thought there was something noteworthy in the episode. I’ll admit I was not looking forward to seeing so much time devoted to Carrie, but all in all I can’t complain.

  • Geahk Burchill

    ‘Gravity’ refers to Sandra Bullock’s character. The movie is a metaphor for her transition. Of course it’s also a pun in the context of the Earth being below her.

    • ident

      ‘Gravity’ refers to the context of the Earth being below her. The movie is a metaphor for her transition. Of course it’s also a pun on Sandra Bullock’s character.

  • Jay Stein

    BRAVO!!! Perfect episode, you guys make me smile even when I’m having a shitty day..

  • Odysseus Ulysses

    “If you looked up forgettable in a dictionary, underneath us…”

    I’ll remember you redlettermedia, even when you want to be forgotten, to infinity and beyond…

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      RIP Buzz Lightyear.

      1995 – 2013

  • sepiajack

    It also didn’t have big space battles or anything in the space scenes that really invited or required sound

  • ident

    All I remember is some skinny chick doing martial arts. Maybe she did it out of unbearable loneliness.

  • ident

    We never had an EVA suit with magic, never-ending fuel. Science fiction.

  • ident

    Lighting Fast. When you need illumination quickly.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Smooth.

  • Dswynne

    Watched it late this evening. It was only okay since I felt that the Sandra Bullock character was way too…”newbie” for my tastes. I agree with Mike that there should have been a preamble of sorts to her character, like a shot of her training for her mission to space, or even just of her before the mission began. That way, the pay off would be how the character becomes a survivor, and reflects on her experience, and what it has resulted in her changed outlook. But, I do recommend the film, since I do like science fiction that is done smartly, and the 3D was gorgeous.

    And whoever tries to correct me on the definition of “science fiction”, and whether or not “Gravity” falls into that category, can go screw themselves with their hipster pretentiousness.

    • JAG

      U mad bro?

      • Dswynne

        Nope. Why would I? Went out to dinner, saw a film, posted a comment on a film that I liked (marginally so). Good times…

        • JAG

          You sounded pretty upset with all those meany hipsters and their pretentiousness.

          • Dswynne

            Nope. Woke up this morning. Went for a walk before doing Monday choirs. Read some blogs at a local Internet cafe over lunch. Took a nap, and now I’m responding to this post before going out for dinner. Feeling good so far today…

          • Pa Kent Says Maybe

            You didn’t do much that day, two days ago.

      • ident

        He’s not your bro, pal.

        • JAG

          I am not your pal, guy.

          • Alex Lee

            I’m not your guy, buddy.

          • Pa Kent Says Maybe

            Sup, champ?

          • Alex Lee

            I’m not your champ, guy!!!!!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Well, I feel that it shows her transformation enough. She starts out being very clumsy in space, her vitals are abnormal, and she isn’t calm. As the film goes on, we see that she starts taking risks with her movements on the outside of the spaceships [not slowly moving along but full-on 'jumping' from place to place] and she is a lot calmer. This is ignoring the change in her outlook on life and her sudden will to live.

      • Dswynne

        U mad bro? ;)

        Seriously, I am not saying that it doesn’t, but, as a personal astethic, I wanted to see the preamble (similar to what was done in “Apollo 13″). Admittedly, this is just me being the “fan boi” in me, as a fan of the Mercury, Apollo and space shuttle ventures that NASA used to do. And, again, I did recommended that people should go see this film, especially in 3D. Relax.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Yeah, being a nerd for space related thing, it would have been awesome to see her preparing for space, but alas I don’t think it fit into what the director wanted.

    • ident

      Some of her inexperience makes sense but it gets a little silly some times. There were a number of moments where I wondered if NASA trained her at all or if they just pulled her out of her house and slapped a suit on her. On the other hand, in the last half of the film, she can suddenly operate extremely complex Russian and Chinese systems. The film did do some hand-waving about similarities but it was still most unsatisfying.

  • STOP_RIGHT_THERE_CRIMINAL_SCUM

    HOLY FUCKING SHIT, this is the first time I’ve seen anybody reference YTMND in years and years, this is seriously blowing my mind

    • ident

      If that blew your mind, you may have a rare disorder. Premature mind blowing can strike any time and may lead to awkward conversations with people who may not appreciate or understand your disorder. Please consult your physician if your mind is blown by any of the following experiences: family photos, Shymalanian twist endings, Michael Baysian CGI, the mentioning of old memes, finding a beer in the fridge when you thought you had no beer, or new flavors of Doritos.

      • STOP_RIGHT_THERE_CRIMINAL_SCUM

        dude, all I’m saying is it’s weird how that site used to once be popular but has seemingly vanished from everyone’s memory but mine, so it’s weird to see someone actually acknowledge it’s existence for a change

  • Johanna Egan

    They stole the fire extinguisher bit from Wall-E.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      That’s the first thing I thought of when I saw her doing that.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Except, you know, there’s no sexy EVE to fly with her… because the other person in space with her got all asphyxiated.

        • TapewormBike

          Oh EVE, DAT CHASSIS.

    • Shaun Higgins

      We all were.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s right, Joe!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    In Gravity, with all this crazy shit happening in space, why didn’t they just call Space Cop? Ugh… where’s a Space Cop when you really need him?

    • TapewormBike

      In spa….nah, that’s too obv….aaaaaaaaaaaaace!

    • ident

      Seizing a black man’s gold rings under draconian civil asset forfeiture laws but not charging said black man with a crime and using those seized assets to purchase a pool table for the local police union’s break room? Or perhaps I need to stop watching the news.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        It went from this: “Seizing a black man’s gold rings under draconian civil asset forfeiture laws but not charging said black man with a crime and using those seized assets to purchase a pool table for the local police union’s break room? Or perhaps I need to stop watching the news.”
        To this: “Plinkett reference.”

        Whaaaaaaat?!

        • ident

          I have no idea what you are talking about. I think you must have slipped through to a mirror universe and back again. Was my little grey man wearing a goatee?

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            All I remember was a floating light outside my window then the 4 hours after that were blank. My ass hurts a lot, now, and I can cause people ‘brain-pain’ with my mind.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I was totally riffing the ‘Taken’ series, produced by Steven Spielberg.

            Also, it’s just now, after looking it up, that I remember Anton Yelchin was in that series. I totally need to watch that again.

          • TapewormBike

            A goatee? Oh come on now, are you suggesting that you are not the evil version?

  • Cheeky

    I saw that ending coming from the start. Yet i still felt for it, i had a laugh though.

    Great job

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This would help if we knew you age…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I thought I was the only person that could quote Neil DeGrasse Tyson! :O

  • TapewormBike

    I think one of the problems with the horror genre today is that it is too niche and navel gazing, with directors usually just boxed in that particular genre (Ti West comes to mind, whom I love, but then I am a horror nerd). When A listers back in the day used to shoot horrors, sometimes the lack of knowledge of the genre helped the films – Shining is a one scary movie, but it can be argued that it is not a good example of horror. Ever since Carpenter made Halloween, the genre is seen as a sort of a gateway, with most directors rarely moving past it (Raimi being one of the few).

    • Now I Get It

      “Ever since Carpenter made Halloween…”

      If Roger Corman was the gateway producer into the movie business as such, then, yeah, horror might be the gateway genre to commercial respectability. Someone should map these rungs of hell, so that a person can know if he’s climbing up a ladder or down a chute.

      • ident

        No sooner is it mapped than it changes.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        So, this isn’t a ladder? Oh chute!

        • Now I Get It

          I know. That’s why we need a map. Up is black, down is white. Kirk had a map and he saved Simon Pegg. But then they made a second movie, so, I don’t know.

          http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc1z5cGiak1rbkvvro6_250.gif

          • TapewormBike

            That just makes me wanna have Heineken

          • Now I Get It

            Did you hear about Matt
            who fell into a vat
            Well they say he was drowned
            but it took him a week
            And they say that it wasn’t
            as strange as all that
            when you think that he kept
            getting out for a leak

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You’ve been watching too much early 2000s Pixar.

  • Kjellmand

    Not cool man! Not cool…

  • ident

    No, that debris field could not be explained by one satellite nor all the satellites currently orbiting the earth. The frequency was accurate. This has been covered a dozen times below.

    • Gerhard Van der Berg

      What seems very Hollywood movie like is that with the first go around the US station gets destroyed but the Russian station although damaged stays mainly intact, but apparently the orbit of the debris was altered enough so that on the next go around 90 min later Sandra arrives at the Russian station mostly intact for it to be destroyed on this orbit.

      Then once again 90 min later she arrives at the Chinese station which stayed mostly intact on the previous debris orbits, but when Sandra arrives the debris changed orbit enough to also then destroy the Chinese station completely. The debris changing it’s orbit perfectly each time to cause maximum damage when Sandra arrives (but not on previous orbits) is where the movie lost me.

      • ident

        I didn’t think about that, but you’re right. Even the orbital fiction of the movie is inconsistent.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        By ‘Russian station’ do you mean the ‘International Space Station’ which just happens to have a Russian Soyuz pacecraft attached to it?

        Also, we could assume the debris field was getting larger with each pass so that it would encompass a bigger area to include the ISS and then the Chinese station Tiangong.

        Besides that, though, the density of the debris field is absurd. If it was that dense and large enough to hit Explorer, the ISS, and Tiangong, the movie would have pretty much ended with Clooney and Bullocks dying in space together from asphyxiation, Sandra first because her levels are far lower.

        • ident

          Or the debris field is hunting Sandra Bullocks under the orders of Gravity. Gravity already killed her child and now it’s going to finish the job.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Haha.

          • Yukonses

            YES! In Gravity 2, aka ‘Gravities’, Sandra will travel with a team of space marines back to the planet Earth as communications with the planet have ceased.

            The space marines will be killed off individually by gravity until only Sandra, Hicks, and a little blonde girl that Sandra mistakes for her dead daughter remain.

            Sandra will ‘weapon get’ and confront the queen gravity, only to realize that queen gravity has stowed away on the Russian Soyuz. Sandra will say, “You’re terminated, fucker!” and crush gravity in a machine press. She’ll then tell the blonde girl that it is indeed now safe to dream.

            Credits roll…

  • ident

    Mike Stoklasa actually has a Masters in Astrophysics so this movie really hit home.

    • Pa Kent Says Maybe

      Really? Then I’m surprised the only thing that really got to him was the fire extinguisher. They lost me at see-thru helmet visors and space stations all lined up in eyesight of each other. By the time they got to the fire extinguisher there had been so many last-second fingernail grabs, I was too burnt to even notice.

  • AOSean

    You guys hooking up with Bill Whittle on ‘Aurora’ or ‘Big Bat Problems’? Personally, I think that would be AMAZING!

  • Drain

    Another pointless remake just to cash in on an older title. Why did this need to be made? Are we that desperate for flashy new graphics and effects that we’re going to flat out copy/paste an older movie just to do that? How about doing something different? Stop with all the senseless remakes. They’re never as good as the originals.

    • ident

      Gravity doesn’t really make sense as a Carrie remake anyway. Don’t know what they were thinking.

      • Alex Lee

        Gravity is a better Carrie remake than the Carrie remake.

        • TapewormBike

          “Chronicle” is the best Carrie remake there is.

  • ident

    I also like it when they agree with me. It’s the only validation I receive and it’s all that keeps the gun out of my mouth.

    • TapewormBike

      I just rest the gun like a bit to the side of the mouth, since I know that the video will end eventually.

      • CB

        It only makes sense to leave it. What if they end up not liking the thing I like? Or what if they say that the reason I don’t like something is stupid and overly nerdy? I’d have to move the gun all the way back into my mouth!

  • Shaun Higgins

    I’m glad you at least liked Gravity. I thought it was beautifully horrifying; one of the year’s best films.

    P.S. AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

    • ident

      Yeah, when the ghost of Sandra Bullock’s daughter popped out of the water and drowned her…beautifully horrifying.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I posted a fake spoiler after viewing Gravity’s 10 PM premiere pretending to be irate that after all the hardships that Sandra had gone threw she ended up drowning. One of my friends was so pissed that they deleted me as a friend.

        • ident

          That’s wonderful. Root out those precious spoiler queens and destroy them.

          • TapewormBike

            Have you seen Fight Club? At the end you find out, that Tyler Durden was also Marla the whole time. So the twist is that Edward Norton is totally gay. Loved it.

          • Real Quantum

            What about “The Passion of the Christ”?
            Good movie, except the guy dies in the end.

          • TapewormBike

            It was ok, but I have no idea why they had to ruin it with that shitty sequel “Man of Steel”

          • Yukonses

            That’s a really good joke.

          • TapewormBike

            I realized that I am much more comfortable when people attack me online than when they compliment me. (That is basicly an open call for assholes)

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            An open call for assholes? Are you saying you’re making a call for assholes to be opened? Your wording is ambiguously gay…

          • TapewormBike

            Oh no, you have totally misconstrued me. I just meant that I enjoy having enemas.

          • TapewormBike

            Enemies

          • Real Quantum

            HAHAHAH :D :D :D

          • Real Quantum

            Haven’t seen Man of Steel yet, so I don’t know if there is more to that joke. :D

          • TapewormBike

            Much cringeworhy more

          • Real Quantum

            Allright :)
            *sets new task: whatch man of steel*

          • TapewormBike

            OK, but the new BotW comes first:)

          • Real Quantum

            Already there ;)

          • Real Quantum

            Ouch.
            Now i got you meant.

            Why did I watch it??
            Ignorance can be such a bliss.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            They try to tell me he died for my sins. Pfft! I wasn’t even born until nearly 2 millenniums later! How could he die for things I haven’t even done yet? Does Jesus have a time machine? Is Jesus actually Marty McFly?

            Holy shit, guys! I think I just provided Hollywood with a Back to the Future 4! Either Marty McFly goes back in time and IS Jesus, or he goes back in time to get CURED by Jesus. You see, he’s got ‘the shakies’ now and only Jesus can cure him.

          • Real Quantum
  • Strelnikov

    Wake me when a major studio wants to remake “Manos: The Hands of Fate.”

    • ident

      Oh man…oh man…nostalgia says I should want that, but my brain remembers how much it hurt.

    • TapewormBike

      If they get RLM guys to do it, I would go see it like 10 times in a week. (Mike as Manos, Jay as the husband, Rich as the wife AND daughter).

      • Strelnikov

        Manos is the un-seen God of the living-dead cult; did you mean “The Master?”

        • TapewormBike

          Oh my Manos, you are right, my bad.

    • Yukonses

      I have the official Manos bathrobe, limited edition. It comes with the mustache.

      • Strelnikov

        “The Amazing Technicolor Poncho!” – Tom Servo

  • Yukonses

    Gravity was just more liberal propaganda. Once again, George Clooney and the Hollywood elite are trying to brainwash us all into believing that gravity is actually real, that it’s some kind of law.

    Wake up, sheeple! Gravity is a myth! It’s just another tool of the oppressor used to keep the people down!

    • ident

      Gravity is just a theory. The earth goes around the sun due to God’s divine will. If the weight of our sin wasn’t holding us down, we could float right up to heaven.

      • nocomment

        Hell is on Mars, heaven is on Venus or Saturn, or Mercury, or Uranus…

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I love the RLM comments section.

        • TapewormBike

          One of us, gooble gobble….

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Elephant was pretty cool, but totally misleading, just like Gravity’s title…

    THERE’S NO ELEPHANT IN ‘ELEPHANT’ AND THERE’S HARDLY ANY GRAVITY IN ‘GRAVITY’!

    • Cheeky

      Technically there is plenty of Gravity in low earth orbit. Zero-G is not the same as Zero-gravity.

      Unsubscribe, Check your facts etc.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I know, but that didn’t fit with the joke.

    • Real Quantum

      Also, I thought Elephant Man was some kind of Marvel adaptation.
      How wrong I was.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I have to see that film.

        Quick question though: is it in eye-popping, jaw-dropping, head-deforming 3D?

        • Real Quantum

          You were spot on until you said “3D”. :)

          Although, and now that you mention it, the movie I saw was in a dodgy black and white…

          Damn! Gotta re-watch it with the 3D goggles!!

  • Agarax

    I wasn’t there, but I wouldn’t be surprised if all the dialogue and Hollywood cliches were Executive Meddling to make the movie appealing to mainstream audiences.

    The studio was probably pretty nervous about the movie as it was and didn’t want to have a critically acclaimed film that flopped at the box office.

    • TapewormBike

      That is entirely possible, especially because while masterpiece, Children of Men was a theatrical flop. But the fact that the two Cuarons were hands on with the script, suggests that they might’ve been just too heavy handed with all their intended messages (Mallicked it, as nobody ever in the world says).

      • Real Quantum

        Children of Men was really good.
        Those “one cut takes”… Man!

        • TapewormBike

          Oh those are great oners. They took a great care in hiding he cuts and adding some stuff like the blood on the lense was just genius.

          • Real Quantum

            Totally, totally agree.

            The subsequent views made me look more to the technical side, but that first viewing…

            The Range Rover pushing, the assault on the car, the urban shootout…
            I was completely blown away.

    • ident

      I want to believe that because some of those lines just clunked. Which is why I don’t think Sandra Bullock deserves much praise because she just did what she was told. A better actress would have said, “Uhm, why does my character take a nap while George Clooney floats away? And why does she seem to have the spirituality of a 5 year old child? No, I’m not going to say ‘Now I know where I’m driving to’, that’s really silly.”

      • http://www.sunnystrangers.blogspot.com/ Bryan M. White

        No problem. Sandra Bullock sucks.

        • Real Quantum

          Does she?
          Isn’t that, like, a good thing though?

          • Alex Lee

            I think so.

  • Jon

    When is Plinkett’s three hour review of the Voyager episode Threshold coming out? It was that episode where they turned into lizards or something. Michael De Luca wrote that episode and he’s been coasting off it as a hack fraud Hollywood producer ever since.

    • TapewormBike

      Any day now…

    • TTDILA.COM

      Oh man, I just told a friend about that episode and how bad it was

  • Swifteye

    Mike really does need to see a doctor about that. If it gets worse he could end up like a lot of those movie reviewers on Youtube.

  • jnorris441

    Hey, that was old footage of the VCR repair shop. I SAW YOU TAKE APART THAT SET, YOU FRAUDS

  • ident

    It’s his reward for a good take.

  • NivekJ1

    I always look forward to these shows. But as far as Gravity is concerned, if you guys are this hard to please, I hope you bring it on Space Cop. I mean, fucking bring it.

    • TapewormBike

      Call 911, this mans butt is extremely hurt! QUICKLY!

    • Gerhard Van der Berg

      What review did you watch, they said it was a very well made movie with spectacular visuals that should be enjoyed in the theaters, their criticism was mainly about the Hollywood cliches featured in the story and stupid dialogue, of which there was plenty.

      George Clooney was basically an exposition monkey that explained everything to Sandra (even after his death) in simple to understand language, Sandra apparently was sent to space without knowing anything, just so that the audience could easily follow the action on the screen without having to think.

      • Yukonses

        Yes, they did recommend the movie. More specifically, they recommended you see it in theaters with the IMAX3D. I agree with that recommendation. While I enjoyed the film, I can’t see myself watching it on my own on my tiny 42in screen.

        Mike and Jay will pick things apart no matter what. If they went total fanboy over a movie, RedLetterMedia would fail. Cynicism is the theme of this website, for better or for worse.

        In the film-maker’s minds, George’s character was necessary. So was Sandra’s inexperience. You needed a fish-outta-water and an exposition supplier.

        I usually agree with such logic, but in this rare case of Gravity, I wonder if a bolder, dialog-lite approach may have enhanced the film. There wasn’t that much that needed verbal explanation, the visuals could have carried a lot of that load. All the dialog at the beginning explaining where the debris was coming from was all that was needed. The first 15mins of the film did a fine job of getting the point across: andra is a space noob, George is a space vet, and this debris means business

        Don’t get me wrong, I’m just speculating. I liked the film. The only thing I didn’t like about the film were the ‘character moments’. And that’s a pretty lame complaint.

      • cobrazombie

        How else would you suggest the technical information be passed to the audience in a short space of time?

    • Pa Kent Says Maybe

      They nailed GRAVITY. What are YOU talking about?

  • TapewormBike

    You know, come to think of it, I would like to see it more if Jay would be The Master and Mike Torgo, just to enjoy the dynamic:)

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I think the theme was actually ‘serenity’…

  • catnep

    Will there be a director’s cut of Carrie 2 The Remakequel?

  • Adam Workman

    Mike’s acting with the tombstone makes me laugh every time.

  • Winkler

    THAT GOHST SCARED ME LOLZ!!! Yeah, but seriously in reality, it actually did. I peed a little.

  • Daniel Bakke

    Excellent episode. And if you could find the time, I would very much appreciate it if you fixed the fucking care boars. Thank you. Smooch.

  • TapewormBike

    They did in a recap. Jay loves it, Mike does not give a shit.

  • bobbelibob

    Judy Greer in Psycho? Did they mean Anne Heche or am I missing something here?

    • Toni

      Not Judy Greer, Julianne Moore.

      • bobbelibob

        Oh, thanks. I have no idea where I got that from.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I might be a bit late on this one, but wait until Simon Pegg sees their reviews of STID.

  • Chuck Chuck Razool

    There isn’t anyone else in the world that can make me this happy by telling me to get fucked. I love you guys.

  • TapewormBike

    I actually think he already flipped out on somebody because they criticized it, right?

  • Sam Mirza

    Whats the name of the song in this video?

    • darius_sinclair

      At what time?

  • Quonk II

    Actually it’s funny that Mike thinks Gravity is “out of date” while it’s ACTUALLY a total hodgepodge of anachronisms: They’re traveling up there in a space shuttle, while the shuttle program, as we know, has been cancelled in 2011 and George Clooney is swooping around in a “jetpack” (or rather an M.M.U. – a manned maneuvering unit) which so far has only been used in the eighties, the Tiangong station as seen in the movie, won’t be up there in that configuration until 2015. Very very entertaining and visually enthralling movie nevertheless. I also particularly liked the soundtrack. While it was fairly simplistic, it was nevertheless one of those scores that go straight to your spine.

    • cobrazombie

      Alfonso Cuarón wanted to use things that the audience was familiar with, like the space shuttle, etc.

      • Quonk II

        Yeah and he did so to great effect – after all the movie fared almost surprisingly well at the box office. I have to say that I really enjoyed the movie. It was just the nerd in me that chuckled at those mild inconsistencies. But well, after all it struck a great balance between “science fact” and science fiction.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          “…the movie fared almost surprisingly well at the box office.”

          ‘Almost’?… It broke the October and fall opening weekend record AND is the highest grossing October and fall release ever. I think that’s a bit more than ‘almost’. :P

      • Alex Lee

        Also, it’d be pretty hard to sell to an American audience we we have to show Russian and Chinese actors instead of A-list Hollywood types. Not saying people in other countries aren’t good actors-there are-but it’d be a harder sell without American celebrities.

  • Brandon

    ooooooooo! get fukt.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Since he seemed to enjoy some of their content before and tweeted about it.

  • Joshua Barkdull

    The prolonged ending of Gravity was done for the sake of symbolism. Symbolism being smacked over your head I might add. The whole sequence is about rebirth and Sandra Bullocks character restarting her life.

    Everything visual from the moment she says shes going home is a psuedo-Kubrick type symbolism. As her pod burns through the earths atmosphere surrounded by thousands of meteorites all streaming toward the earth, the visuals look like sperm approaching an embryo. She is birthed into the ocean. She then crawls to the shore and has to teach herself how to stand. Before finally taking her first steps on Earth.

    All of this comes after her scene in which she is framed looking very much like fetus in the womb.

    So the ending was prolonged past the characters natural arch to finish telling the thematic story of rebirth and second chances. I personally think it was a little over indulgent on the directors part and the movie would have been better if it ended like Jay said.

    That said at least there was at least a purpose for the prolonged ending. Unlike a lot of Hollywood films that seem to just go on and on for 45 mins after the natural end point has long past.

    I really liked Gravity. I think the pros far out weigh the cons and the fact that I just spent 6 minutes complaining about a directors over indigence in telling a visual story shows just how far I have to reach to find something wrong with this film. It’s not perfect but by today’s standards it is Citizen Kane.

    • ident

      A lot more than a little over indulgent and maintaining that ridiculous visual metaphor is only one of the worst of the problems with the script. This has been covered ad nauseam below but I’ll sum up: George Clooney as George Clooney, Sandra Bullock’s childish spirituality, Sandra Bullock’s convenient ignorance of all things astronaut and then convenient expertize at all things astronaut depending on the needs of the plot, the ham-fisted dialogue from everyone, the vocalization of character arcs as though the characters have seen ahead in the script and know the emotional outcome of their story, Sandra Bullock taking a nap while George Clooney floats away, the hunter-seeker debris that avoids space stations until Sandra Bullock is on them, the violation of angular momentum, orbital dynamics, and most laws of physics, and..oh man…aneurysm…

      And there are plenty of good movies coming out today so I see no reason to lower our standards. And Gravity was an alright movie by any standard.

    • Yukonses

      Sperm?

      • stoopsmcoops

        Perms?

      • Joshua Barkdull

        Yes, Sperm. It should be noted however that I get all of my knowledge about the reproductive system from the opening scene of “Look who’s talking.” Staring Diane from Cheers and John Travolta as Uncle Jesse from Full House.

        • Yukonses

          lol

          Thanks for ruining the movie for me. If I ever see it again, I’ll only be able to think of John Travolta peeling the dirty layer off a head of lettuce he found in the dumpster.

          I personally thought there should have been more visuals and less yapping. I don’t mean symbolism, just visual storytelling since the visuals and sound were the film’s major strengths. While watching, I got the ‘born again’ theme of course, but you grabbed WAY more symbolism than I did apparently. I didn’t feel smacked over the head with metaphor, at least not as much as some people.

          Some thought the movie should have ended 5 or 10 minutes earlier, but I think we would have been complaining about something else if they didn’t conclude her arc (standing up a new person).

          No offense, by the way. I enjoyed your post and understand/respect your thoughts on the film. When I first read your post, I thought it was ridiculous, but after some thought, I like your take on it. Keep up the good analysis.

    • Paddy Beirne

      Didn’t Hemingway say that symbolism shouldn’t be like raisins in raisin bread?
      Not to put down the point; it’s just an interesting idea.

    • stryker1121

      As sumptuous as Gravity was visually, the sappiness and sledgehammering of its themes sunk the experience for me.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Even most professional box office analysts didn’t foresee Gravity setting a new October and fall opening weekend record, let alone being the highest overall grossing October and fall movie ever. Their predictions before the opening weekend were in the $30-$40 million range. It wasn’t until Thursday evening and early Friday numbers started coming in that they said it could make $45-$50 million tops. Gravity then made $55.8 million, blowing made original predictions and even the updated guesstimates based on early numbers. To most it came as a surprise, which was my whole point at to why you’d say ‘almost’, which makes it seem as if it just missed out on faring surprisingly well.

    If I’m mistaken and you mean ‘almost’ in a different context, I apologize.

  • TapewormBike

    Weirdly enough, Brian De Palma basically remade Carrie immediately after he shot that movie. his next one “The Fury” was the same premise with spies mixed in.

  • HansRinderknecht

    Symbolism aside, I thought it was a really great ending to the moviegoing experience to see the environment on Earth. After the cleanliness of space, the earth was a shock – messy and heavy and wet – and I appreciated it very differently.

  • http://thenewyawker.darkbb.com/ Congslop

    Rob Zombie shouldn’t ever make anything ever.

  • http://www.youtube.com/ac1dchr15t ac1d

    Ugh…Another HITB I’ll be waiting to watch until I see the new Carrie…Even though I don’t really have many high hopes for it, I’ll still wait until it comes out Ondemand or something, fuck ticket prices.

    • TapewormBike

      The episode is way better than the movie. Seriously.

      • http://www.youtube.com/ac1dchr15t ac1d

        Yeah I took your word for it and just watched anyway…Thanks, Dog

        • TapewormBike

          That’s what friends ARE FOR!

  • stryker1121

    FUCK U for that jump scare!

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  • AnimationWorksNL

    I’m probably the 100th person to say this, but wasn’t space travel by fire extinguisher an idea from Pixar’s Wall-E?

    • guyinthehat

      Does Titan A.E. count? There’s a scene in the movie where two characters use a fire extinguisher to get from one ship to another.

  • Clifford Beasley

    As a person that really isn’t a fan of Sandra Bullock or George Clooney (I’ve enjoyed a few of his movies, but just don’t like him much. Guess the same goes for her) would I like Gravity?

    As for Carrie, I couldn’t even watch the original once I saw the mother and how she was different from the book. I need to get over it and just watch it since it’s supposed to be really good. Something just bothered me about that. Sissy Spacek wasn’t chubby like Carrie in the book, but her “odd” looks still worked for a character that’s supposed to be an outcast. Chloe Grace Moretz is just a pretty teenage girl. Seems like a good actress, but not good for the role. Probably won’t see the new one unless it happens to come on tv during one of rare times I watch TV.

    Good to see some HITB sketch stuff again. Rich takes a lot of abuse, but please let him know that we appreciate it. Going through a rough time with family and this made me laugh out loud. Thanks guys!

    • JC

      Yes I think you’d like it! I don’t like either of them, and I was so surprised (disagreeing with Jay n Mike for the first time ever, oh man) that I loved George’s character and forgot Sandra was ever in anything else.
      Part of why I liked George was because of the framing of his character within the plot… yes he’s very ‘George Clooney movie man’, but all I’ll say is that his presence comes to represent levity and security in a way I’ve never experienced in a movie. pretty cool to feel this much for freakin George Clooney.

      • Clifford Beasley

        Thanks for the reply. I might try to catch it before it leaves the theater.

  • ricarleite

    First of all, fuck you for the jump scare. You guys are better than that. It’s the filmmaker equivalent of a famous 5 star restaurant Chef going to McDs, grabbing 5 pounds of burgers and fries and using that in the meals he serves. It’s crass, cliche, unnecessary and the mark of incompetence. McGee would say “voice over narration”, I say “jump scare” is the lowest trick.

    As for Gravity…

    Gravity felt like they got a Michael Bay script, and took the first 20 pages off, and threw it in the fire. Then, they take the last 10 pages, and throw it in the fire. Now, they get a black marker pen and crossed ALL references to every character except Sandra Bullock’s and George Clooney’s – and just left a few minutes of that other guy in. Then, they cross all references to sound and cross all the words “explosion” (and similar references) from the script.

    • AlcaldeEste

      Gravity is a Michael Bay movie?
      Welcome to the Internet, where every politician is Hitler and every movie is a Michael Bay movie.

      • ricarleite

        I did not say that. Read more carefully.

        • AlcaldeEste

          You didn’t say that the person Michael Bay made the movie Gravity, but you implied that Gravity from a filmmaking perspective was at the quality level of a Michael Bay movie. I did understand that the first time around.
          I also didn’t mean that people claim that the person Michael Bay has literally made every movie, or that people claim that every politician is literally, genetically, physically the same person as Hitler. I think maybe you understood that the first time around as well. Did you understand that?
          I still think that that statement is the worst example of the “everything is the worst thing in the Universe”-rule on the internet.

  • mantaradio

    It feels so weird to disagree with Jay and Mike… Gravity is definitely full of cornball dialogue but for the first time in my movie-going life, I really liked the corn! In fact, the movie lead me to remember the rare feeling, when grave reality set against sentimentality makes normal life feel surreal and poignant. Totally, this whole movie is surreal. Especially with all the explosion craziness. But I’ve never enjoyed sap so very much, and I guess I have the director to thank for framing it all so well.

  • TapewormBike

    BEWARE THE JUMP SCARE! (pussies)

  • stryker1121

    Saw this last night and if anything the guys are being kind. Not on the visuals, which are spectacular, but the heavy-handedness of the symbolism made me feel like a cynical snobby douche moviegoer and i HATE when movies make me feel like that.

    The womb stuff, the floating tears and the ending felt like they should’ve had the words “Oscar clip” buzzing under them like that one scene from Wayne’s World. Grab a couple of non-marquee names. Ditch the symbolism and fraught backstory and make this a simple survival tale.

  • Yezzir!

    Do Mike and Jay ever completely disagree on a Siskel and Ebert level? Do they ever start punching?

  • Giddeon

    Kinda new here, started with the Plinket reviews and this is the first one of the ‘actual’ reviews I’ve seen. Not sure about the opinions of the 2 fellas on this one but one thing I do know is their credibility for me has been heavily damaged by the use of shitty cheap trick. Jumpers aren’t cool, at best they are a pain in the arse and at worst they’re litigious.

    Get your shit together.

    • TapewormBike

      I just want to clarify beforehand, that none of the downvotes you are about to receive are from me. Also..BOOOOOO!

  • Kyle Allen

    I wish I knew Mike and Jay

    • ident

      But you do. They live in your heart.

  • raidet

    Jesus, a lot of FAGGOTS post on this site. Check out these fucking posts:

  • TapewormBike

    Does nobody on the internet understand what critique and subjective experience is? If you watch and read reviews only so your own opinion/idea of the movie is validated, prepare to be eventually “betrayed” by everyone, since noone can have exactly the same taste.

  • winzentween

    hit ghost =http://www.kerilynnsanfelippo.com/

    • winzentween

      she actually made me jump lol

  • simpsocr%tcd.ie

    you have to divorce yourself from the special FX and ask yourself why is gravity so sanctimoniuos, pious and patronising? the first 15 mins were sublime but then it just falls into a spiritual awakening film where bullock is essentially converted in space. she says SPOILER things like ‘nobody taught me to pray as a child’.cry me a river. and THAT thank you. please.the script is so bad, clooney may as well be robbing a casino the way he cracks wise in this, even after someone has died. such a dissapointing film. its like being in a rollercoaster only for JC to jump in wth you a quater the way through then spoil the fun.

  • ident

    Not brilliant. Not at all. Cliched, predictable, pretentious. Like yourself.

  • ident

    I don’t get it.

  • ident

    Why would you watch a different movie to review a movie?

  • ident

    I don’t expect you to read all the comments, but this has been covered ad nauseum below. There is such a thing as space debris, but it is not possible as depicted. Debris and satellites orbit on different planes, at different angles. It is only possible as depicted if all the space debris ever was specifically targeting Bullock.

  • TapewormBike

    Finally managed to se Gravity in a little Prague cinema that smelled like farts even before I sat down. I liked it overall, the cinematography, pacing, sound design were amazing, Cuaron did not dissapoint me in directing part of his job at all. But what took me out of it frequently was the combination of Clooney and his lines. It was actually pretty irritating, him being this cool suave dude (or as one adjective “Clooneish”). Bullock does not deserve any flack in my opinion, because I never really thought of her character as “Sandra Bullock in Space”, whereas that is all I could do with Kowalski, even if he is basically a hallucination. I like Clooney, as an actor and director, but he usually chooses roles where he can use his charm effectively – here, it was the main flaw of the movie for me. “Half of North America just lost their facebook”….nonmedy (in a movie where there should have been zeromedy)

    • Robby

      I saw this recently too, and was so offput by the horrible dialog it ruined all of the feelings I was supposed to be having. This should have been like All is Lost, with basically no dialog the entire movie. It would have made it infinitely better. Plus, both Sandra Bullock and George Clooney were groan-inducing. I saw she got nominated for Best Actress yesterday and…just kill me, for fucks sake. Completely miscast movie.

      Not to be completely negative, because the visual effects and sound and sense of helplessness in space were all amazing.

      • TapewormBike

        Yeah, I do not care about Oscars that much, but I like them being nominated for cinematography, since it is all basically digital, done in comp, I think it shows a certain progress in recognizing the craft regardless of medium and tools used. I totally agree on the dialogue, it was on the second viewing all the parts that I wish I was able to skip (I am buying this on Blu-ray defintely though)

  • ident

    Way to prove me wrong.

  • FlixtheCat

    What is the deal with the inexplicable Rob Zombie love? The guy has done nothing but mimic better directors for his whole “career.”

  • AlcaldeEste

    The closer a movie gets to getting everything right, the more nerds lose their minds over the details. It’s the uncanny valley of realistic movies. “Oh, the actual cable used by NASA has a higher tensil strength than depicted in the movie. Worst! Movie! Ever!”

    • Pissernacht

      Getting everything right? Shit, you don’t need to be an expert in orbital mechanics to understand that everything in Gravity was pathetic and stupid. Even somebody who plays Kerbal Space Program has a better understanding of space than the retards who made Gravity.

      Besides, Clooney and Bullock were just fucking horrible in it! When you’re leads actors are the main thing to despise about your film, well, shit, you’ve got bigger problems than a failing grade in vector mathematics…

  • ikilledacat

    Agreed, the *only* movie worth seeing in 3-D. The stark contrast of outer space really makes you focus on the charas floating before you. I disagree about the ending though, I think watching her stand up for the first time was an inspirational moment that needed to be in the movie to show the effects no gravity has had on her muscles.

  • ikilledacat

    Yeah, Carrie was a very uneccessary movie. I couldn’t finish it. It really was a shot-by-shot remake which is fine I guess, so long as the cinematography and editing makes it more unique and watchable. It was neither of these things, it actually was far inferior. Purely a cash grab with no redeemable values.

  • UncleSam

    “Why does he float away after he cuts himself loose? Why does she float away too? Is there some special driving force dividing them?”

    There was indeed a special driving force working in this scene. Physicists call it Kinetic Energy.

    Your observation that Sandra stopped Clooneys momentum is just false because both are actually still decelarating during the scene. This comes especially clear during the distant camera shot where you can clearly see that the parachute rope is still beeing stretched.

    • Mehhhhh again

      This is the biggest pile of bullshit I’ve ever read. He not only stopped, he begun to apply resistance after he stopped. If you actually watched the movie you’d see he was having to use his strength to hold himself upright even to “cut himself loose”. Kinetic energy doesn’t continue to gain power against resistance, and certainly not if there is an inverse of momentum. By all means, keep talking out of your ass. The rope was taught, hence why Clooney was riding it like a giant swing.

      It was one of the dumbest scenes in the movie, when I saw them both shoot apart after he unhatched himself I laughed out loud.

      • UncleSam

        “The rope was taught, hence why Clooney was riding it like a giant swing.”

        I’m talking about the long parachute rope attached to Bullocks leg that was clearly beeing streched. It was apparent that the pair didn’t stop.

        You’re so focused on the wrong detail so you ignore the big picture. I guess you’re the when who didn’t see the movie.

  • UncleSam

    “I even googled a few videos, blogs and various articles about the inaccuracies of Gravity, and guess what? This exact scene is mentioned in nearly every single one.”

    I guess you missed out the opinion of Robert Frost, a NASA engineer and Kevin Grazier, the science adviser of the movie, which you can find here:

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/10/21/heres-what-gravity-gets-right-and-wrong-about-space/

    I’m not sure if it helps you because you can’t even tell the difference between a stiff and a loose rope.

  • UncleSam

    “The article even states that this scene is specifically the most contested by science and scientist, which is odd because it sure sounds like you were insistent on proving me wrong despite the vast majority of criticism in the scientific community saying otherwise.”

    Oh really? Did you count every single person in the scientific community who watched the movie and didn’t have a problem with the scene?

    Anyways, before I believe what people like Tyson say after watching the movie for the very first time I go with people who were thinking things through.

    After all it was a dramatic and emotional scene where you can miss important details after the first viewing. But on the other hand I dont get why this is the case. The movie gives you all the hints to understand whats going on there.

    “Shocking that the people who specifically worked on the film, and were paid to work on the film (ie; Grazier) are the ones defending it, and all of the people who weren’t associated with the project are telling it like it is.”

    Actually the argument in the article was made by Robert Frost who wasn’t a science advisor for the movie.

    http://www.quora.com/Gravity-2013-movie/Why-is-there-tension-in-the-tether-between-Ryan-and-Matt-the-result-of-which-in-the-story-is-that-Matt-has-to-let-go

  • Pebkio Nomare

    I’m here because the review of the new Robocop was so awful that I needed to watch something old that they did. And wow… listen to them: they’re speaking with such authority and certainty. This is great, they have actual opinions and not just pointing out things that happened that seem bland.

    This episode is the work of Mozart when compared to the Robocop review.

    • Pissernacht

      I hate to say it, but their review of Robocop 2014 was basically exactly what any of us had a right to expect. Likewise I think they only even watched it at all was because they kind of had to. It was the same for me and that remake of Total Recall; I just sort of HAD to see it.

      For what it’s worth, I appreciate that they were uncommonly mature about the new Robocop and didn’t bitch about how everything in it was for the worse. In truth, the review was a microcosm of the movie; it was going to happen and we knew exactly what it was going to be.

  • Navon Sensei

    Mike was right with his prediction regarding the oscar. I’ve seen this coming.

  • nelsonsmith

    Gravity is a good film, but it is an action/thriller, and not a science fiction film. Just because a movie takes place in space does not make it a science fiction film. Just saying.

    • Patrick

      That’s kind of a problem though: we’re good for science-fantasy-action-thrillers. Hollywood’s been churning them out like clockwork, looking for their next Star Wars, so it’s disappointing to see Gravity turn out the same way. Gravity could have reinvented the sci-fi genre after years of neglect, but it didn’t happen because no one wants to go for niche appeal.

  • nelsonsmith

    Actually the argument could be made that gravity is not a sci-fi film.

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