While prepping engagement photos for Jay and Mr. Plinkett, because that’s a thing that’s happening now, Mike and Jay decide to take a break to talk about two recent movies, Get Out and Logan.
Filed in: Half in the Bag
First? Really? For me?
oh itsa nice day fora white wedding
Get Out was amazing and efficent horror movie with a sharp sense of dark humor
However I have some nitpicks with the use of themes
If Chris was White, the plot could have relatively stayed the same, as a movie more about rich people trying to be young again and not so much about race, as Stephen Root pointed out, the concept that being black as an advantage was undercut by that prejudice cop scene
What if they wanted to be Hispanic Asian, was that rich token Asian a Ganguro?
Also so the grandparents has to do housework during the day? So the old white brain used as expansion packs rather than full brain transfers, which has the black body have 3 personalities, this was B movie science, just have old people brain fully transfers
I can see why everyone is so mad about the homosexual relationship in Beauty and the Beast: Jay and Plinkett have terrible chemistry.
Can you imagine if a white guy made a horror movie about a white dude meeting the black parents of his girlfriend and them being monsters ?
Rich Evans…my personal hero.
John Wick still doesn’t exist!!!!! 🙁
I’d watch that.
Look at those lovebirds.
If you liked “Logan,” you’ll love the cinematic send-off of Halle Berry’s Storm in the upcoming romantic comedy “Storm Chasers,” in which Magneto and Beast compete to win Storm’s romantic affections (planned release date: January 2019)!
Get Out was for sure an extended Twilight Zone episode (minus the Twilight Zone or “The Mist” type of ending), had fun with Jordan Peele’s psy-thriller/sci-horror (with bits of comedy) mash-up…
And Logan was a great character piece swansong for Jackman & Stew (err, Picard’s) film offerings for the X-Men franchise.
Already exists “Guess Who” with Ashton Kutcher (Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner re-make a few years ago).
Can you imagine how completely different the context would be, given the grotesquely different measures of power and experience from centuries ago through to the present for each of the groups concerned?
You can’t? Oh.
I think depending how it was done, it could be quite good and interesting.
I still think “Get Out” was a crap title. I’d have called it “The Stepford Help” and added a coprophagia joke to the trailer.
Logan was great though I get the sense that “comic book” has become a derogatory term. There are some wonderful comics that were often much better than their film versions (The Dark Phoenix Saga, any number of years of Spider-Man, Watchmen, etc.) They’ve had many stories in comics over the years very similar to Logan. Look at Miller’s run on Daredevil, for example. And there have been interesting comments on lots of social issues. The problem comes in when studios don’t understand that the appeal of comics really isn’t any different than any other fiction. They just use a genre device to tell a story. Studios come in and think it’s all about big dumb fights. If you look at lots of great comics, very little of the time spent in the story is the fighting.
The son goes out and just brazenly abducts black dudes at night while the daughter girlfriends them and brings them home to meet the parents willingly.
Unless you are a black woman, then the title will probably not make sense.
Jay has a GREAT head of hair, don’t you think?
I guess maybe one of the reasons “comic book” is a derogatory term is because people like you propagate the idea that they can only be about superheroes.
“Droppin’ them in the mailbox” sounds like dirty talk from the Plinkett-Bauman honeymoon suite.
Wasn’t that the plot of the black “Death at a Funeral” remake?
Remember that episode of Night Court that was like Star Trek? You know the one where Data plays a hillbilly?
I’d like to see a “hard R” version of the Aquaman story. He could rape killer whales to death and then sweet talk their widows, or tear the heads off of Japanese dolphin poachers with his bare hands. In the end he boils the seas and turns the rivers to blood, helping to usher forth Armageddon and the rapture.
What in the hell are you talking about? I never said that and it cannot be inferred from what I said. Maybe people like you should learn to read.
What if there was a White Entertainment Television?!
Just got back from a matinee and these hacks have the review up, whoo hoo! Not for nothing, but I saw at least two couples that brought their five to six yr old kids. That’s fucking irresponsible.
Mike and Jay though…
Can you imagine an internet conversation about race without a blow-hard ideologue popping up to insert bullshit from centuries ago in condescending lecture?
I can’t imagine it. How could a white guy stoop so low?
Because people are only idealogues when you disagree with them.
Bringing up historical transgressions is standard social justice modus operandi. And I feel the reason you’re bringing it up is because you want to promote a very specific world view. I might be wrong.
JFC. You know what “idealogue” means, right? A zealot.
I gave that comment a little eyeroll, which is exactly what it deserved. Take a fucking look at yourself, you massive sigh.
Mike has Star Trek Tourettes Syndrome.
I’d like to debunk a stale myth that these frauds continue to propagate; namely, the one that says “black guys are the first people to die in horror movies.” Of the people who’ve tried to sell this trope to me over the years, most could only name three or four films, tops (and usually the same three or four). There are others, to be sure, but they are mostly Z-grade slasher bombs that only hobos, pedophiles and Jay Bauman would ever mention or remember.
But if we look at the memorable (and often classic) horror movies with at least one black guy in them, the opposite seems to be true. To wit:
Night of the Living Dead: Black Guy is the last to die.
Dawn of the Dead: Black Guy doesn’t die.
Return of the Living Dead: Black Guy is the last to die.
Alien: Black Guy is the last to die.
The Thing: Black Guy is the last to die (and Other Black Guy doesn’t die).
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors: Black Guy doesn’t die.
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning: Black Guy doesn’t die first, and Other Black Guy doesn’t die at all.
The Blob (remake) Black Guy is the last to die.
Night of the Creeps Black Guy doesn’t die.
That’s just off the top of my head. I could go on, but I’m not gonna. I could even start cheating, with shit like “Serpent and the Rainbow”, where the movie is wall-to-wall Black Guys, or flicks like “Poltergeist” where no Black Guys or White Guys were harmed during the filming of this movie. There were also shitloads of cheapo horror flicks I watched in the 80’s where Black Guy dies, but it was almost never first. If we had Science Man run the numbers, I’d guess White Bitch was most likely the first one to go. Or Tan Doofus. Or Security Dope.
By the time the 90’s rolled around, you had films like “Event Horizon”, where Black Guy is the heroic lead and the last to die and the only Other Black Guy in the movie is the only character who surives. Looking back on that decade, I’m not sure a single Black Guy died in any horror movie, unless he was being killed by Irish midgets or Snoop Dog.
The notion that Black Guy is the stereotypical first victim in horror films is a grotesque lie. It’s madness. Stop the madness and lies!
(Also C-3P0’s right leg was always silver, you blind fucks.)
You seem pretty invested for such a trivial point.
ideologue (plural ideologues)
A person advocating some ideology, especially as an official or the most eminent advocate.
I’ll try to live with myself.
Holy shit, what cherry-picking. An idealogue is generally considered to be more than simply following an idealogy, but following one with a tenacity to the exclusion of other ideas in a manner that is alarming to others: uncompromising, dogmatic, fucking irritating you might say
THERE WAS A CERTAIN IRONY IN THIS, TO WHICH I WAS TRYING TO DRAW YOUR ATTENTION
I DON’T KNOW IF YOU PICKED UP ON IT YET
WRITE ME ANOTHER POST
I DO ENJOY OUR CHATS
You two really ought to get a room.
All I could focus on was Jay’s big, black head on his drinking cup.
That’s our Mark.
Another interesting characteristic I’ve found among social-justice retards is that they seem to think that throwing a fit or shouting somehow improves the veracity of their positions. Just an observation.
Top media scientists have been hard at work on this very subject. They’re calling it Television.
SPOILER FOR THE SHINING
Pretty sure Jack Torrence carks it
Looks like Fox has found its superhero gimmick and its hard R rated Superhero violence and swearing and all i can say is BRING IT ON!!
Also i better be getting a wedding invite you fucking scam artists!
No they aint i mean i fucking saw Robocop at that age and loved it!
But if we start counting the killer in the death tally, everything goes sideways. It’s like counting a fox as a hen.
Not that I’m racist against foxes.
but, we live in a time of false alternate facts. stop making sense!
I’m trying to make White entertainment TV happen in Peru, Mogadishu, China, and Jordan. Won’t you please invest?
Don’t worry he frequently lectures black Americans about how they treated africans in Liberia.
Help, Tommy is trap in his dumpster with only link to redlettermedia to contact people!!!! Please!
Speaking of which, your screen name belongs on the marquee of a Trill porn theater.
I guess you speak from experience…
Never been to Trill. It’s a couple dozen light years away.
Oh that is true.
This movie is not ‘original’, it’s ‘Hollywood original’. In that its plot, look, feel, dynamics and characters are almost entirely stolen from Mel Gibson’s ‘Blood Father’ which was released two years ago?
So disappointed that they didn’t call this film Logan’s Run.
Me too. Or at least “The prequel to Logan’s Run.”
Anything good to eat?
All the black guys in the original The Blob died. And that was before the movie even started.
I’m so glad I’m not the only person who has noticed this.
Your dad is both irresponsible and awesome!
No. Only shredded 35 mm print if Tommy’s movie “the Room”
Have Lisa order you a pizza that’s half Canadian bacon with pineapple, half artichoke with pesto, and light on the cheese.
Oh thank god I needed this! Well not like I need meth, but still…
Logan did not smoke a cigar in this, but he did steal some from the gas station, so it is sort of implied 🙂
Halloween – Resurrection. Busta Rhymes literally kicks Michael Myers ass, kung fu style.
Pineapple… eww. Are you trying to make him ill.
I wouldn’t say they’re stolen from Mel Gibson’s “Blood Father”. These dynamics can be found in many Westerns, the most recent being the “True Grit” remake. But go back to the oldies like “Two Mules for Sister Sarah” and you have pretty much the same dynamic going on. Still makes Logan quite the riff, though.
Pineapple is a great pizza topping!
DC will never catch the MCU and x men universes up , they are rubbish at it … DC should instead concentrate on making stand alone vertigo movies .
No, silly boy.
Yes, yes. Definitely… yes.
When will Mr. Plinkus do a film review?
But Logan is an almost a beat for beat remake of Blood Father. Old retired fighter, once wild man, lives in trash desert. Must protect estranged daughter. Go on wild road trip pursued by young punks. Continually shows age and fatigue while beating their asses. Wiser, older friend is killed by villains. Ultimately sacrifices life after cementing bond with daughter. Film punctuated with Johnny Cash riffs.
The films are, to my mind, nearly goddamn identical. Except that Mel Gibson comes across as rather more heterosexual than Jackman.
Or how about Edward James Earl Jones Olmos in “Exorcist 2”. He was the last to die in that. Or, he didn’t die? Or wasn’t a real person? Wasn’t quite sure what was going on there.
Pretty sure he was like an insect at one stage there. Eddie Murphy – Beverly Hills Cop 3, and yes that is a horror movie.
Is Mr. Plinkus replacing Mr. Plinkett.
James Earl Jones should never say pazuzu or things like padme
I remember Harry when he was Harvey.
maybe he’s still working on the next rogue one update video. i fear the youtube younglings with their assanine comments will be fully operational
Yeah, it’s like when I have a date it’s sort of implied nobody is ever going to see them again.
More shots of the small one doing camera takes whenever the large one mentions Star Trek, please. But not TOO much more. Just enough so that you could do an hour long montage of them in your upcoming highlights episode when you get locked in tanning booths and have nothing better to do than reminisce about past episodes.
Hate to tell you, but it’s only you who never sees them again.
JK, I love telling you this. Happy Women’s day, ladies. FYI I’m somehow still single.
Your proposed pizza order is tearing this comments section apart, Palpatine.
I don’t know where women come into this, but for sure all of the men that have ever kept me company have ended up never seen again by their family or loved ones. Happy Women’s Day, “missing” men. FYI I’m still single for what is clearly a very good reason.
I don’t know why you’re bringing women into this.
Nono: they get trapped in coffins at the morgue while sizing them for Mr. Plinkett.
Let us stop fighting about what to have on this American pizza, and please worry about getting Tommy out of dumpster.
i agree with some of your points but theres no need to shout
Jay is such a selfless editor. He had to get a ton of coverage from Star Trek. I remember Jay talked about Community (Jolly good show but it’s complicated) once and hit the nail on the head. Then Mike cut him off! I really wanted to hear more about it. I love Mike, but he talks about Modern Family! If you got time to Modern Family you got time to Community. I think these two are…
Logan was just okay. Don Draper was wrong, THERE IS A BIG LIE.
Guys, could you contact Max Landis and make this happen:
Home Alone Z:
Kevin is left behind once again as his family goes on holidays. Only this time, Kevin’s misfortune of being left Home Alone is actually a blessing, as it means he won’t die at the airport along with his parents, when zombies swarm the terminal.
As Kevin comes to realise that the zombie virus is spreading throughout his affluent Chicago suburb, he decides that he must protect his house. He draws on his expert knowledge of trap making from his youth, and makes the most innovative anti-zombie devices ever seen in cinema history.
(The twist is that Kevin is still played by Macaulay Culkin, now in his mid 30s, and was left behind because he’s a stoner that lives at home, and his family didn’t want to take him on holidays because of his drug abuse.)
You could have a cameo of Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern in zombie form trying to enter Kevin’s house one last time too.
So, American Ultra II?
I think it would work better if it had tone of the original Home Alone movies. That way it’s like poetry, it rhymes.
Disney executive here: this sounds like a promising concept. Try to remove all the swearing and submit a PG12-spec script by monday and we might have a new Erin Bronkovich Oscar contender here.
BP executive here: Very good, very good. But how about if Aquaman jobs part-time at an oil-rig and kills Greenpeace protesters with a drill machine to their heads? His journey will start during the 19th century while oil was obtained by slaying thousands of spermwhales, which are unfortunately Aquaman’s sex slaves, so there’s your moral dilemma.
In the end he comes to terms that oil is very important, how else is he going to drive to work with his new Humvee?
Sneak in a pro-Fracking message somewhere too, we need to think about sequels because this is a sure-fire thing (his sidekick could be an old walrus who farts).
Not bad if they want to rush this into production, but coffins don’t resemble Star Trek technology as much as tanning beds do. Maybe they get fooled by a shyster who sells them faulty tanning beds as coffins.
I like this. Together we can heal this nation with the spirit of compromise!
Hey, RLM, what is your creative process like? How much time do you spend writing the framing material for the reviews? Do you use Burroughs’ cut-up technique or is your approach more Aristotelian? How much of the creative budget goes to writing supplies like stationary and booze? Are those your own clothes or do you have a costume department? Have you considered upgrading to a boom mic? I gotta tell ya, seeing the microphones clipped onto the shirts of the actors really hampers my ability to suspend my disbelief and fully immerse myself in the RLM-iverse.
Since you’re debunking myths, was the Minotaur actually eating the virgins brought to him as tribute or was there something else going on?
Thank you for these facts, pal. Rare thing these days.
Absolutely, I think gold has been struck.
Only the black ones. Or so I’ve heard.
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Logan was great, dissapoined you guys barely talk about Lauren/X23 with Dafne Keen, a great new talent
Good point. Kids are always a risk in movies and she did absolutely great.
I wonder if Fox has the balls to go dark across the board with R-rated X-Force and X-Men movies? Between Deadpool and now Logan, they may have actually found their niche.
Asinine? Many people would give Tommy’s asinine on a scale of one to ten.
see Tommy has sense of humor.
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I enjoyed the movie, but their are two things I just realized: one a sort-of plot hole, and the other a sad conclusion for the little girl.
1. Since Laura single-handedly decimated those mercenaries in the beginning, shouldn’t that entire group of kids, with all their diverse mutant powers, easily wipe out those guys in the end…?
2. Being just a kid with adamantium already implanted in her child body, how will she grow without the metal killing her… very slowly and painfully. Yikes!
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Just saw King Kong tonight
Hilariously bad. Right up RLM’s alley
Where’s my Beauty and the beast review? No monkeys, but it’s got a guy who kinda looks like a monkey. Plus there’s Beast.
Yeah, I was kind of baffled as to why they kinda stood there and didn’t fight back except the one who helped lift the truck.Then again they’re just kids so they might have been scared. But it was cool to see them gang up on the robot arm guy at the end. It’s always fun to see gangs of children murder people.
I’d love to see a direct follow up where a few of the old-school X-men survived, and a a 100 year old Magneto finally fulfills his dream of mutant-based terrorism, at least on the corn company.
But what about standard action films? I don’t actually know the details but there tends to be that black guy who sacrifices himself for the main white character reputation as well.
Like XMen first class. They quickly got rid of the 2 minority characters in a film meant to parallel Civil Rights. oops.
Michael Bay’s Aquaman?!
“I don’t actually know the details…”
Then shut your whore mouth.
I’d have to guess they found a way to make the adamantium bond with the bones.. In a way.. It’s a comic book universe, anything is possible.
My dad died of Parkinson’s and my mom has dementia. Logan really connected with me and inspired me. Probably my favorite movie in a long time, and I’m not that big an X-Men fan. This movie deserves awards for tackling some very painful subjects without holding our hands. The writer(s) understood caring for people with degenerative brain disease and how traumatic it is. When all seems lost, keep fighting. I’m glad RLM liked it.
Is this Reddit? How can I do an ask me anything? Doesn’t anyone care about poor Tommy? Why is the computer business so competitive
Mike you racist fuck, the ending death montage was extremely well done, it wasn’t just a “kill everybody brutally” set of scenes, each death was memorable and ironic.
**GET OUT MAJOR SPOILERS**
Chris kills the dad with the deer head, getting revenge for deerkind (and there’s a metaphor in there as well about being “hunted”) as the dad’s earlier attitude toward the deer killed by car reflects his inhumanity toward human life in general.
He killed the mom after first proving his physical superiority by beating her to the cup, then he allows her to pierce his hand but overcomes her anyway and kills her, proving his mental fortitude and defeating the therapist on her own field.
He kills the son in a physical altercation, but it goes even deeper when the son, obsessed with MMA being a “strategist’s sport” allowing intelligent fighters to overcome physically superior opponents, gets baited into a pattern of kicking the door closed and stabbed in the leg. He’s outwitted instead of outmatched physically.
And Rose, aside from all the other awesome shit about her death scene like the cop car fakeout and her smiling slightly as she’s strangled, was about Chris getting over his fear of leaving someone to die on the side of the road like his mother.
I ended up typing too much but whatever STAR TREK MIDICHLORIANS PIZZA ROLLS
The actual send-off Halle Berry’s Storm gets in Days of Future Past is infinitely more satisfying: she gets impaled by a huge chunk of jagged metal and dies horribly. Extremely cathartic for anyone who had to sit through X-Men III, especially that goddamned funeral scene.
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